#honestly it would explain/excuse some questionable choices made by characters who as far as we know should be good people

[childrenofthesun77]

...okay, so I'm probably not the first person to notice this.

But gear's earing that he points towards when he says that he did the same ritual he wanted to help kuro with already on himself before:

actually looks pretty similar to the pieces of the necklace the count used to create the servamps:

The different pieces of the necklace seem to contain one demon each and the count used them to create the servamps.

So...did the count either learn this technique from the werewolves or is he possible even originally a werewolf himself? It would explain why he's immortal, that's why I'm wondering about this.

Gear says that the ritual is used to remove spirits, could it be that the count removed his own sins using the werewolf ritual and created the demons this way? But he went too far and removed too much unlike gear who only removed one part of himself? Him removing the sins from himself would also explain why he's so weird and doesn't understand other beings. As the sin demons say, they are a natural part of being a human and we have seen multiple times that denying their existence is harmful, removing them all from you would probably lead to you not being able to relate to other people anymore.

Maybe removing all these parts of himself is also why he has no appearance. Without his demons he's not a person anymore.

The count originally being a werewolf would also explain why he has magical abilities (gear can also use magic) before other magicians existed and why he's so anxious about certain people dying. Gear talks about how his immortality makes him sad because human friends do die, but unlike the count gear seems to accept death, grieves in a heathier way than the count and is able to move on and make new friends. Could also explain why his magic and creations are all strongly tied to the (full) moon.

Another similarity is that while werewolves apparently can't reproduce gear was able to have descendants by sharing his life force (it's mentioned in chapter 135 which isn't translated yet) with a woman and through her human children tsurugi is related to gear. Sigurd explained to nicco that the magicians came to be because the count let humans drink his blood, three survived, got magical ablities and became the ancestors of all human magicians:

Maybe the count is more of a werecat though. He and the sloth demon do seem to have a closer connection, even though the count's appearance changes depending on the person looking at him he does usually keep his tail and the tip looks exactly like the one of kuro's cat/lion form and similar to the the one of inner sloth's non-human form.

It was also stated multiple times that the sloth demon is the strongest. I wonder why that is. Servamp comments on the fact that being lazy is often actually a sign of depression/anxiety through kuro's arc, so maybe the count was depressed and that's why the sloth demon is the strongest? Basically the demons strength depends on how much the count suffered from the different sins? It would also explain why melancholy is so strong, I assume kuro refusing to see him no matter how many siblings he sent his way to tell him to come looking for the count made him extremely sad and probably even made him come up with the plan to have himself be killed and then put in the same body as kuro through the ritual.

I assume he was behind C3 ordering the servamps to kill him because he's the one who created the magicians and thus C3 and lily who is kind of working for him was probably the one who put the idea that the count needed to be killed into the head of his eve (aka a member of the alicein family who hold a lot of power in C3 basically since the beginning. I explained this in more detail in another post). The people from C3 even said that the count can only be killed if he wants to and yeah, kuro didn't truly kill him, but he did destroy his body and kuro seems to have met little resistance when he attacked the count. Which probably means the count wanted this to happen.

#servamp #...if the servamps/demons all came from the count and the magicians are all basically the descendants of the count #does that mean this truly is all just a huge family conflict #since basically everyone involved is somewhat related to the count?😅 #Sigurd says he's related to one of the three people who drank the counts blood #I'm still wondering if mahiru is special because he might have the blood of all three bloodlines #and C3 has a rule in place that forbids all three bloodlines from crossing #probably put in place by the count or lily #and that's why akira told nobody who the father of her child was #I still like my absolute crack theory that because mahiru might have “more” of the counts blood in him that he has no fixed appearance eith #But because he's so normal everyone perceives him as normal so nobody noticed until now that mahiru looks slightly different to all of them #honestly it would explain/excuse some questionable choices made by characters who as far as we know should be good people #Like why akira didn't tell anybody who the father was #why tooru tried to avoid being seen with mahiru in school by always saying he's to busy #Why tooru told mahiru not to tell the secret to anyone else #and why mahiru was raised as mundane as possible and as far away from C3 as possible #even why tooru kept his work for C3 secret from mahiru even after mahiru made the contract #and why he still didn't tell him the name of his father #If people know your relatives they start comparing you to them #If people knew that touma was mahiru's father they might expect mahiru to look like him #If people only knew mahiru was related to akira and tooru they would expect him to look like them #If people at school only knew mahiru but never met tooru before mahiru's appearance to them might be too different from tooru #Touma saying mahiru looks exactly like tooru doesn't disprove this crack theory either btw #Touma sees mahiru as tooru 2.0 and he's not 100% convinced he's actually mahiru's father so mahiru appearing as a copy of tooru makes sense #Just like mahiru would perceive himself as looking like akira and tooru because those are the only close relatives of his he knows #Sorry but I'm having too much fun with this crack theory #the twist that raising mahiru as the “ordinary high school student” was all a plot by his family #to keep people from noticing that they don't actually agree on what he looks like is too funny to me

[headinthestaticsky]

Frozen Within the Night Wind: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 6

None of the characters in Twilight belong to me. All rights go to Stephenie Meyer.

"Baby, you don't wanna leave You'd be sorry, 'cause honestly I can make you feel better, any day Look at what you've done for me, I called it how I see You belong with me."

Stick by: BANKS

For the next few weeks Me, the Cullens, and the wolves have been keeping watch on Bella and Charlie. It wasn't an easy alliance and anytime Sam or Leah went onto patrol they wouldn't even acknowledge me. So I often patrolled with Emmett and Jasper to make things less tense. Tonight however I had no choice but to patrol with one of the wolves... a plus side about tonight though, Bella wouldn't be here... she was out with Jacob right now. I had made an excuse that I was staying with the Cullens for the night so dad wouldn't be too suspicious.

"Are you sure Darlin, I can stay behind on this hunt to be with you."

"I'll be fine...I'm sure Sam won't do anything to me. Besides, I've already hunted for the week...you haven't hunted these past two trips because of me...Go I promise I'll be fine."

He sighed before wrapping his arms around me and laying his head on my shoulder. It didn't last long however since we heard rustling behind us. We both turned to see Sam in his wolf form standing there.

"I'll see you later love."

"Bye love."

When Jasper left Sam stood next to me, he didn't look at me at all. We sat in silence for an hour when I finally decided to say something.

"Look...I know I'm probably just going to end up talking to the air tonight but...I need to get some facts straight."

Sam just huffed in his place.

"None of the Cullens turned me...if they would've gotten to me quick enough I wouldn't even be patrolling my dad and Bella right now."

Sam seemed to be staring at me out of the corner of his eye.

"I don't know who he is...but someone working with Victoria turned me...If I am being completely honest I think it's the intruder we're looking for right now."

Sam huffed again.

"And I know you are absolutely disgusted with what I am now but... I really miss you, and Emily... Seth and Leah too. But I know I can't go down there anymore and Leah completely hates my guts but I just had to get off my chest." I looked away from Sam, feeling completely embarrassed that I spouted all of that out. Then suddenly, I felt some fuzzy nuzzle into my hand. I smiled and pet him, it seems he's warming up to me again.

"Thanks, Sam..."

Our heads both shot up as we heard movement and for a split second I saw firey red curls go across the way.

"Let's go Sam!" I said and started running toward her, he followed me a second afterward. She noticed us running toward her and took off back into the woods.

"Sam go back onto your territory so she can't jump back without being caught."

He followed my command surprisingly.

"I thought you were great at self-preservation Curly, but to come right to her house, right near the Cullens isn't very smart now is it?"

She didn't acknowledge me. Suddenly... something popped up in my head... I looked at Sam and winked, I mouthed to him that I had an idea.

Victoria stopped in her tracks and stuttered.

"James?"

I stopped running and crept up behind her, not wanting to let the hallucination go to waste. Carlisle was right... this second power would be useful to me. The image of James just looked at her with deadly eyes.

"James... how are you... here?"

"What are you doing with him?" "James," asked.

"It's not like that...It just so I could avenge you." Victoria stated.

"You disgust me..."

I was just about to get behind her and grab her neck when she snapped out of it and flipped me over and sent me into a tree. She took off again, leaving us in the dust. Sam jumped back over to me and nudged me with his head.

"I'm okay Sam... we need to go back to the house in case someone else shows up again. When we made it back to the house I saw Jasper and Rosalie standing in our spot looking confused.

"What happened? Why did you leave?" Jasper asked.

"We saw Victoria and chased after her...we couldn't catch her."

"Damn it," Jasper grumbled.

"Were you close to getting her?" Rosalie asked.

"I was inches away from grabbing her by the neck... I guess the hallucination I made wore off..."

"Can you tell where she's going now?" Rosalie questioned.

"I can try... the tracking is still a little wonky sometimes." I got into that trance again attempting to track her,

"It looks like she's going to Oregon..."

"Oregon what is she going to do in Oregon?" Jasper inquired.

"I can't tell..."

Before anyone could say anything else Jacob's car pulled up, Edwards was not too far behind.

"Uh oh... this can't be good," I said, I then began to jog toward the situation, it soon turned into an argument.

"IF YOU EVER TOUCH HER AGAINST HER WILL AGAIN!" Edward roared.

"Guys don't do this here!" Bella pleaded.

"She doesn't know what she wants."

"Hey what the hell happened?" I asked.

"Jacob kissed me..." Is all she said.

"Wait for her to say the words," Edward said.

"What... Edward do you want her to be in a relationship with him? You're losing the argument here bud. bring it back!" I thought to myself.

"Fine, and she will."

"Jacob just go okay?"

"Hey, hey hey... break it up you two," Dad said, he must've heard the commotion.

"Okay... what's going on?"

"I kissed Bella... and she broke her hand, punching my face... total misunderstanding."

I couldn't help but bust out in laughter... this whole situation was something you would find in a crappy soap opera they play at 4 in the morning when no one is awake to see them.

"What are you doing back here Fleur?" Dad asked.

I came up with a lie quickly.

"Oh I forgot some toiletries... and I came back down to get them." luckily my car was still here.

When I pretended to grab my items I came back outside, Bella and Edward were gone. I kissed my dad on the cheek and wished him a goodnight and drove back down to the Cullen's house. When I came in Carlisle was wrapping up Bella's hand, everyone else was sitting in the room with them. I sat by Rosalie and Jasper, just observing the situation, Emmett walked in with a smirk on his face.

"Geez did you try and walk and chew gum at the same time Bella?"

"No, I punched a werewolf in the face."

"Badass...you're going to be a tough little newborn."

Rosalie and I looked up, now focused on the conversation.

"Tough enough to take you on." She said with a smirk.

Rosalie slammed down the paper she was reading and left the room. Bella just rolled her eyes and sighed. I looked at Jasper and he nodded, I slinked out of the room without anyone noticing or so I thought.

"Hey, Rose."

"I can't stand your sister."

"I know the feeling."

"But at the same time... I envy her too."

I pulled her in for a hug, trying to comfort her.

I heard the slight sound of a door opening and closing again.

"What do you want Bella?" I asked.

"You can go and blather about the joys of being a newborn with someone else." Rosalie added.

"Okay... Rosalie, I don't know what I did... to make you hate me so much."

"How many times do I have to say it... If you treat someone I am really close to like dirt... then I'm going to hate your guts."

Bella scoffed.

"I envy you also Bella."

"What? That's ridiculous!"

"It's not...Bella." I jumped in

"How is it not?"

"You had a choice... we didn't... none of us do and you're choosing wrong, I don't care how miserable your human life is," Rosalie explained.

"My life is not miserable. It’s not perfect, nobody’s life is perfect." Bella stated.

"Mine was. Absolutely perfect. There were things I still wanted. To be married with a nice house and a husband who kissed me when he came home. A family of my own... Royce King was the most eligible bachelor in town, I barely knew him. But I was young, I was in love with the idea of love. On the last night of my life, I left a friend’s house late visiting her newborn son, I wasn’t far from home… They left me in the street thinking I was dead, believe me I wanted to be. Carlisle then found me, he smelled all the blood, but he thought he was helping me."

"I'm... so sorry." I said... I had never heard how she got changed until now.

"That's terrible," Bella added.

"I got my revenge on them, one at a time. I saved Royce for last so he would know I was coming. I was a little theatrical back then."

"That's not theatrical... that's bad ass," I said, Rosalie cracked a smile.

"Things got better after I met Emmett, but we’ll always be this, frozen, never moving forward. That’s what I miss the most, possibilities, sitting on a front porch somewhere, Emmett grey-haired by my side surrounded by our grandchildren, their laughter."

"I understand that’s what you want. There’s nothing I’m ever gonna want more than Edward." Bella argued.

"You’re wrong again, after you’ve been changed there’s one thing you’ll want more. One thing you’ll kill for…blood." Rosalie finished, she then walked out of the room without saying another word.

#jasper hale x reader #rosalie hale #jasper hale #jasper hale x oc #jasper cullen #carlisle cullen #emmett cullen #esme cullen #alice cullen #edward cullen #jasper whitlock x oc #jasper whitlock #bella swan #twilight saga #twilight

[theballadoffinchesandsaints]

Let’s talk about the Vaincre trade:

(As I am writing this, only the first full chapter, July, has been published)

I’ve said before that I’m fairly certain it’s going to be Leo, but I want to walk through the thought process that got me there (this is long and unedited. You’ve been warned).

First, since this is going to be such a major plot point, I think it’s going to be a character who’s inner circle had at least a minor spotlight in the first chapter. These were Coops, O’knutzy, O’darwin, Thomas & Noelle (do they have a ship name???), Regulus (tho he’s obviously disqualified for not being a pro player rn), and Cole (with a bit of Dumo).

Additionally, I think a key component of this plotline will be developing characters so that they can stand on their own once separated from a crucial relationship (thematically, it makes the most sense to me).

With that in mind, let’s do some quick (yeah lol prob not quick) disqualifications from the list:

Remus: I know this is a more common theory (and god would it hurt) but Remus’ storyline is already jampacked with living up to the standards of the league, team, and public, as well as adjust to a new relationship dynamic with Sirius. On a more heavy note, Remus will have to navigate how playing hockey will interact with the trauma of Greyback’s attack and the resulting injury. I’m sure most of us inferred that this would be a plot point, but the idea was solidified in a snippet of Remus and the team discussing predictions for the top teams of the season.

Sirius: while narratively, I actually think it would be fascinating to see the lions learn to be a team without their leader and to see Sirius have to learn that there are other parts of the world he can trust, this one falls apart in both logistics and clues Hazel has already given us. Truly, I cannot imagine a trade in which it would make sense for the Lions to give up their beloved, talented, effective captain and first line center, especially after he just led them to Stanley Cup. And when someone asked Hazel about (I believe) what relationships would be highlighted in Vaincre, Coops made the list with the qualification that their storyline would largely center around Remus’s adjustment to the team. A Sirius trade requires long-distance Coops angst which, while possible, would be both difficult and against the spirit of the statement.

O’Darwin and Thomas & Noelle already have long-distance angst happening in July, so trading either Kasey or Thomas would miss some of the emotional punch we know Hazel is going to give us.

Cole: I mean, the kid’s a rookie. It doesn’t really make sense. Threads seem to be being set up with the Dumais’ baby sitter and maybe one of the new PTs? (I don’t remember exactly where I’m getting this from, but I’m near certain it was from Hazel’s tumblr). It seems like physical encounters are going to be a big thing with both of these relationships, plus all the obvious great storylines of a new rookie getting comfortable in the team, make it unlikely Cole will be the trade. Not to mention, there are no guts to punch with Cole. We love him already, but he isn’t close with anyone on the team yet. We’d feel disappointed, not devastated, if he got traded. We all know Hazel’s going for devastation.

Dumo: this one approaches probability for me. Dumo would be heartbreaking for every member of the team, but especially Sirius and Logan. It would also sort of follow through on a previous idea from a rough draft of SW where Dumo has a career-ending injury. All the players would have to learn to navigate life without a father figure, and it would break down the system of where many Lions rookies live. But this one’s all speculation, at least as far as I know. It’s not hinted at in July, and I can’t think of any snippets that suggest Dumo. Plus, it feels like all of the main POVs have been set up in July, and we know from the dreaded “of being a lion” snippet (in which said player gets called about the trade) that we do get POV chapters from the player who’s traded.

We’ll get back to O’knutzy later. First, some people who aren’t on the list that I feel are worth discussing briefly (tho these are unlikely for the reasons at the end of Dumo’s):

Kuny & Nado: Now, I remember Kuny’s “no trades, no trades” thing from Hazel’s tumblr. It hurts. It feels like foreshadowing. But, remember, Hazel has also said that these boys will both play a more secondary role in Vaincre. They’re both safe.

James: I go back and forth on this one all the time. Thematically, separating Sirius and James would be both heartbreaking and deeply interesting. James was a major force in bringing Sirius out of his shell, and Sirius would have to learn to maintain that without his best friend always by his side. James and Lily are also suspiciously absent from July. I know Hazel said they’re on their honeymoon, and I’m not disputing that in any way, shape, or form. However, it does provide ample excuse to become a new POV in August. However, I can’t find any snippets to really support it. And, just, in general, James as a character in Hazel’s fics (or at least in Solntse and SW) provides a stable backbone for the other characters. He’a developed as a character but stable and happy. This could be the thing that changes that, but, at the very least, it doesn’t fit the narrative role he serves in SW, and I think it would change the feel and character dynamic of the fic as a whole (not just of the team) too much for that to be the choice.

And then there’s O’knutzy:

Going into Vaincre, I asked myself: what are everyone’s plotlines going to be? Remus will adjust to the team and playing Greyback. Sirius will largely be his support system, tho some stuff may be done with his relationship with Regulus and/or moving on from any semblance of his parents’ influence. Dumo will welcome rookie Cole onto the team. James will be a new father. Thomas and Noelle will have long-distance relationship feels. Kasey will adjust to O’darwin, and probably also deal with his reoccurring injury.

And the cubs? Are in a happy, stable relationship with everything they’ve ever wanted. The seeds to a storyline regarding whether or not they choose to come out was definitely hinted at in July, but I don’t think it will be their sole focus. Thankfully, there is nothing pressuring them to come out currently. They think about it. They long to do it. But nothing has changed since the end of SW/CtC. If one of them was long-distance, that would change the dynamic. When you can always go home to your two loving boyfriends, it doesn’t hurt quite as bad when you can’t be affectionate when out with them in public. When you’re only in the same city for a day or two roughly every month (depending on which team the trade is with), every second you could spend holding them and don’t hurts more and more. Whether I think they choose to come out or not, I really don’t know. I think so, but I’m definitely not sure. But the real question is, which cub goes away and prompts this?

If it’s a cub, it’s definitely Leo. Hazel posted a snippet that just...says so much.

Do I even need to explain? She practically told us. I’ve spent over an hour analyzing nearly every prominent Lion when Hazel practically told us Leo was going to be the trade with this right here.

But I do have more to say. I don’t think either Finn or Logan would work well as the trade. The plot of them being separated was well explored in CtC, and I honestly just don’t think it needs more examination. They learned to cherish each other, talk to each other, love each other freely and honestly. Them being separated again would just hurt. It wouldn’t serve a narrative purpose.

On the other hand, I do think Leo’s character could actually benefit from some time alone. He had barely a few months as a full-blown adult, working in the NHL, before he entered a committed relationship with his two lovely boyfriends, both of whom had had years more time to live with and explore themselves (tho it’s not as if they were doing that freely). A couple of months or even years dating long-distance could force Leo to have some more adventures on his own and come into himself more. Then, he can fully return to his boys, his “long-lost lover[s],” and be more stable in his love.

In a similar vein, Logan and Finn have only had short amounts of time to make their leg of the relationship stable and happy in comparison to the time they spent yearning or heartbroken. Even in CtC, their reflex is to go to Leo first, which is, of course, perfectly fine and lovely and adorable, but I think they need to spend some time unlearning that knee jerk reaction.

Then, when Leo comes back (because one way or another, in canon or in my head, he will), all three are confident in themselves as individuals and in each leg of the relationship as well as the three of them as group. No one and no couple n e e d s anything, but they come back together because they all love each other, more than anything.

That’s what I think will see in Vaincre. At the very least, it’s what I want.

Vaincre is by the one and only @lumosinlove

#this took 2 hours #unedited #i rlly hope someone enjoys it #edit: i went and checked and this is over 1600 words #it is 4 pages single-spaced with 11.5 font #mine #sweater weather #coast to coast #vaincre #lumosinlove #sweater weather lumosinlove #coast to coast lumosinlove #vaincre lumosinlove #vaincre trade #pascal dumais #cole reyes #sirius black #remus lupin #coops #logan tremblay #leo knut #finn o'hara #o’knutzy #kasey winter #o’darwin #james potter #thomas walker #noelle tremblay #the marauders #regulus black

[king-paimon]

HnK Post Chapter 95 Thoughts: 3 Months later...

Hi guys…. I’m so sorry for being away for so long and delaying this post. I can’t believe March is already almost over. This year is going by way too quickly, but honestly, is that really a surprise? I was working on this post back in January and was planning on posting it then, but life has been more busy than usual for me. I still feel really bad for promising to post this and not being able to keep it. But here it is now! I don’t know how many people will see it since the Houseki no Kuni tags have been pretty quiet, but you know what? I’m kind of glad I didn’t post this post right away because I wanted to properly talk about my feeling about the chapter, the series, and Ms. Haruko Ichikawa herself, and doing that when I was still emotionally charged wouldn’t have done this post justice. And though I don’t think my thoughts overall has changed too much, I’d still like to share my thoughts, if you are interested in hearing them. 

This will be another really, really long post, so be prepared! I’m definitely going to be doing a lot of edits on this one so please bare with me if anything doesn’t make sense. Please let me know if anything I said is too confusing.

Anywhoo~ here it goes:

My view of the story at this point

I had to go over my last post to see if any of my original opinions had changed and, well, for the most part, not too much. Most of the gripes I have with the story is still about the same, particularly the remaining gems becoming lunarian and the many implications that comes with it, though I would say some of my anger has subsided. I’m still bothered by it, though. I understand why the story would go in this direction and why the characters, especially Euclase, would choose to make this drastic decision to change themselves, since that was they ultimately wanted: to no longer live in fear of being destroyed and live peacefully, even if it means changing what they all were. It’s still bothers me a lot, mainly because I can relate this to similar real life events of people erasing their cultural and even racial identity as a means of survival in a different and so-called “better” society. I remember in one of my very first posts in the fandom, I stated how uncomfortable it made me that the first moon gems were totally fine assimilating into Moon society and were wanting to completely change themselves to fit in this society, even if it meant removing what made them who they were. For characters who didn’t like their original identity like Cairngorm (or Welegato but I’m not calling them that), or felt stunted in their original society like Dia, and found solace in Moon society, I can see how this transition as a liberating thing…but only to an extent. The thought of literally going to the extremes of changing yourself inside and out, erasing all traces of what made you “you”, while also destroying all old meaningful relationships in the process, to live in a place you were conditioned to be believe is the better option for you…It hits a little too close to home.

I’m talking about cultural assimilation and cultural destruction, where racial and cultural minorities sometimes go through drastic measures in order to assimilate into the “better” society, even if it means completely erasing their original identities physically and mentally. I’m not saying all forms of assimilation is inherently bad and I’m not saying that you must stick with your cultural upbringing for it’s a part of your identity; that is a toxic view and it’s especially bad if you experienced terrible things because of that upbringing.  I’m trying to talk about the extreme cases of assimilation when these individuals are essentially convinced to go through extreme measures to fit in to the “better” society because their old identity was “bad”, and by completely changing themselves, from their appearance to even their name, then they can finally be happy in the so-called “better” society. I’ve heard of people going through such lengths and it’s heartbreaking. It’s very cultish and that’s how I viewed the transition of the gems becoming Lunarians, with everyone accepting the change with seemingly no issue and especially after Aechmea literally gave Cairngorm that new name. It would have been one thing if Cairn picked that name themselves, but it was all Aechmea.  The lustrous don’t exist anymore and everyone is ok with it. The gem society that we knew, at this point of time, is gone now. It was far from perfect but the fact that it’s gone is sad and disturbing to me.

My view of the key characters of the chapter

Now that I stated how I feel about the gems essentially being erased, the next question is how do I feel about these characters themselves?

Conflicted. Very, very conflicted, and even a bit disappointed and upset, especially with certain characters more than others. But surprisingly, even after seeing how the turn of events turned out for all of them while Phos is stuck on Earth alone… I don’t hate them. Yeah. After everything that has happened, I currently don’t hate the gems… For now, anyways. It all depends on what happens next.

But the one character that I feel the most conflicted with is Adamant, especially after his interaction with Aechmea. Part of me is confused by Adamant’s and Aechmea’s seemingly friendly interaction because of Adamant’s past actions and words, for they don’t seem to belong to someone who would be on friendly terms with someone who they were actively resisting against before. I’m talking about all of the times that Adamant would fight off the Lunarians but also that moment in Chapter 85:

(Chapter 85, Pages 10-11)

After seeing things like this, I just find it odd how Adamant’s interactions with Aechmea are so friendly now. And with the horrifying implication that everything that had happened was planned between them, which also doesn’t make sense, I’m not sure what to think. Maybe Adamant’s changed attitude relates to him being free of his burdens and physical body? This could explain the change in attitude, but it still feels… off. Maybe I’m looking too much into this. I don’t want to hold hope that when he and the other gems were transformed that Aechmea somehow manipulated their memories to make them more compliant, even though it was made clear that memories were going to be lost in the process. Maybe this will be explained more in the next chapter, but I won’t hold my breath for that either. To me, this just made me feel weird about Adamant because remember, I was both sad and relieved when he disintegrated in the previous chapter because I really liked his character. Now though, I’m not so sure. I still don’t hate him or any of the other gems, but I’m definitely on the fence with him more so than the others. I certainly don’t hate Euclase like many other fans; I didn’t agree with their past actions (or rather lack of actions), but like with Phos and other characters, they did what they felt was right given what they knew. Still not excusing it, but I understand why. As for Antarcticite... I’m not sure, honestly. Though I’m glad at least they brought up Phos, I can’t help but feel that their main priority is still Adamant. Out of recently changed characters, Antarcticite is the main character I have the most positive opinion on, but again, that can easily change within the next chapter. 

So yeah, I still have mixed feeling about all that has happened that led to this point in the story, and I do have a more negative view of some of them. But regardless of that, I can’t bring myself to downright hate any of the characters. Disappointed with their decisions is one thing, but to hate them with every fiber of my being? No. I don’t think I can. At least for now. The same goes to the Lunarians, too. Hell, even though I’ve said before that I hated Aechmea for how he manipulated Phos and the other gems for personal gain, once again, I don’t think I downright hate him either (though I still want something bad to happen to him.) Aechmea is such an intriguing antagonist that I love to despise.

My view of Haruko Ichikawa at this point

Since the release of chapter 95, I’ve seen a lot of fans post their criticisms of Haruko Ichikawa herself regarding how she’s writing the story and her treatment of the characters. Someone even commented on my chapter post about how they don’t view her story as ‘amazing’ anymore because of her cruel treatment of Phos and the depressing turns in the story. Even popular commentors like @rinboz posted their criticism about what Ms. Ichikawa is doing with her story. As for me, I can agree with some of the comments made to an extent. Some of the choices Ms. Ichikawa made in the story has had me question her a few times; like the mentioned interaction between Aechmea and Adamant as well as the extremely predatorial relationship between Achmea and Cairngorm. I still think that chapter 95 was extremely rushed, especially going through the previous events that were stretched out into nearly 10 chapters. There are many other smaller issues that I personally have when it comes to how Ms. Ichikawa writes her story and characters, but I think the biggest criticism I’ve seen that I agree with is the concern about the current direction of the story. And at this point, the story can only go in so many directions and most of them are leading to anything but a genuinely happy ending for Phos. And it’s pretty depressing that Ms. Ichikawa has some of us pleading for Phos to die so they don’t suffer anymore. I can’t think of any other story that has me wanting the main character to die, not because I hate, but because I don’t want them to be mistreated anymore. This story is nothing but hopelessness.

But you know what’s crazy? I kind of like that.

Maybe Ms. Ichikawa has made me a glutton for tragic stories, or because I’ve been starving for a unique story, but I kind of like that this story hasn’t gone in the predictable, happy route for everything Phos has gone through. If this story were written by someone else, I can picture Phos somehow regaining their appearance and memories, be surrounded by the people who truly cared about them and their enemies dead, and pretty much having the picture-perfect happy ending with no form of problems whatsoever as an award for everything that Phos previously sacrificed. Yeah, this is the ending I’m sure fans want in some shape or form and to a degree, I do too. But to be honest, I’m kind of glad that’s not the story that we’re getting, at least right now.  In a weird way, it’s sort of refreshing to have a main character who doesn’t always win in the end, especially after all of the things the character sacrificed.

And I also how the story and it’s characters can be so simple and complexed at the same time, like in her anthology series. To me, this makes Ms. Ichikawa stand out from the many mangaka I’ve followed throughout the years. And because of that, part of me hopes she knows what she’s doing and has something extreme planned for the story’s future.

Now, I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot for still thinking highly of Ms. Ichikawa’s writing; there are still things that I think could have been handled differently, like the mentioned pacing and story details. But for now, those gripes are not too irritating for me and I’m not quite ready to downright say that her story is bad...YET. I want to reserve my final opinion of Ms. Ichikawa as a writer until the end of the series, whenever that will be, because despite how the story has progressed for last several chapters, I’m still enjoying writing. I just hope that when the series does come to an end that Ms. Ichikawa gives us a satisfying end. When it comes to ending a series, how an author does so can really affect how fans view the series and the author, and I think this will be the case for this story, though I’m sure there will be criticism regardless of what kind of end Ms. Ichikawa creates. For me, while I do care about whether Phos and the other characters get the endings they deserve, I just hope it will be told well. I’ve seen too many times really good series ending terribly because the creator didn’t know how to end a series properly. I sincerely hope that won’t be the case with Ms. Ichikawa.

From this point forward

I remember seeing a lot of readers who are upset with how the story has progressed thus far, with some even saying that they were going to drop the series because of how depressing it is. I think everyone who felt this way has every right to feel that way; it’s completely understandable. Houseki no Kuni is definitely not a story for everyone, and it can take an emotional toll on you.  I know it certainly affected me that way, and I can’t think of many other series that has done that. It’s been a long since I’ve been so invested in a series and despite the many emotional rollercoasters I’ve felt during parts of the story, I don’t think I will ever say that I regret picking this series up. And despite my mixed feeling about the latest chapter, I want to continue to stick with it. Even if the story continues to spiral in a never-ending pit of despair, I still want to stick with it until it ends. And you know, I think even if this series does have a somber, heartbreaking ending, I think I’d still view the story as overall amazing and I’d still be glad I got into it when I did...Unless Ms. Ichikawa gives us an abrupt, unsatisfying ending. Then that opinion goes out the window.

Until the next chapter comes out... 

Other than being busy, I admit that I’m glad to be taking a break from Houseki no Kuni. Despite my many praises, it still takes a lot out of me and I definitely needed that break. And though I personally don’t mind waiting a bit longer, I can’t wait for it to back. I sincerely hope that Ms. Ichikawa doing alright, especially after all of the chaos happening for the past year, and that she enjoys her time away from the series. I hope she’s staying healthy in body and mind, and I’ll wait with bated breath for the next chapter of this story.

Besides this post, I actually had a few post ideas that I want to work on, but because of my schedule, those will have to wait a while. I wanted to make another story prediction post because even though they are sometimes wrong, they are fun to do. I think I’ll wait until the next chapter to come out to make that one. The other post I’ve been somewhat working on is a bit different from my usual post; it’s somewhat of a character analysis/reflection and it’s on a controversial character that while many justifiably hate, I personally can’t. (Can you guess who that is? I’m sure you can!) Because of how many people hate this character, I was not sure if I wanted to write it. But you know what, I’m going to do it anyways. When that post will be done? I have no clue, but this will be an interesting writing exercise for me and I can’t wait share why I don’t hate this character the way many other fans do.

 The end!

Well, that’s the end of this post. I hope you enjoyed it. I will likely go over this again at some point but it’s getting really late and I need to get some sleep. I hope everyone is doing well and keeping themselves busy during this series hiatus. Maybe unwind by reading/watching a new series. There are some interesting ones that came out last year and this year. I personally stated watching Wonder Egg Priority. It’s really good but deals with a lot of heavy subject matters, so be warned. I’vve also watched lighter stuff like Lupin the Third (I love this franchise so much) and some of the new shows on Netflix. I would like to see some more stuff but I don’t know what to look for. If you have any recommendations, please feel free to leave a comment.

Until next time, I hope everyone has a pleasant week 😊

#houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #hnk spoilers #lotl spoilers #hnk #lotl #hnk thoughts #hnk phosphophyllite #hnk chapter 95 #hnk adamant #hnk aechmea #haruko ichikawa #long post #personal opinion #personal thoughts #hnk phos #hnk meta #hnk manga spoilers #hnk spoiler

[agent-jones]

Why Gwen Hate Is Rooted In Misogyny And How The Premise Of Torchwood Is Often Ignored In Order To Hate On Her

Hello, hi. Jacklynn here again to talk your head off about something I feel is important to address when it comes to Torchwood and its fandom. Now, you’ve seen me post my defence of her and her actions [ not condoning, always remember this ] but, this is more on why the hate she receives is absolutely rooted in misogyny whether you want to believe it is or not, especially when talking about the portrayal and reception of women over the years in media [ and, frankly, in society ] as well as the fact that Torchwood’s very premise explains why Gwen should not be so vitriolically hated by the fans.

First, let’s talk about one reason she’s hated: her personality. Oh. This one is just blatant. I’ve seen her called both boring AND bitchy. The first one is obvious to address and that’s the bitchy one. Women who are seen as strong and independent are often labelled as bitchy, while men who act in the same manner are respected and good leaders. This is just simply based on the patriarchy we live in, a woman must be docile and and quiet and if she’s stands for something she believes in, suddenly she’s considered loud and angry and a bitch. How many times have we heard those words thrown at feminists for standing up for women? And boring? If a woman isn’t shown to be fun all the time and up for anything [ see the movie Yes, Man and Zooey’s character ] she’s considered boring. This isn’t just Gwen, this has always been the world women are forced to live in: either you’re a slut or you’re a prude, you’re a bitch or you’re just boring. Comments like that about Gwen’s personality are just downright rooted in the everyday sexism women face in society.

Second, the double standard within the Torchwood fandom when it comes to Gwen’s affair. Cheating on Rhys is the number one reason I always see for Gwen hate. And you know what? It’s absolutely valid to criticise her on how she treated Rhys. It was selfish and she made bad decisions. But, you know what’s never addressed? The fact that Owen knew exactly what he was doing when he was tempting Gwen away from Rhys, purposefully trying to get her to cheat on him. He was very open about the fact that he “tortures people in happy relationships” because he wants to. But, he’s given a free pass for his actions. Why? Had the roles been reversed and Owen’s character was a woman, and Gwen’s a man, Owen’s character would have been considered a ‘homewrecking slut’ who didn’t care about the fact that the man she went after was in a relationship and would have been labelled as such and would have been crucified by the fandom as Gwen was for cheating.

Why? Why is Owen excused for his actions? He was far from innocent. Yes, it is ultimately Gwen’s relationahip, but it takes two to tango. Owen should be disliked just as much for purposefully intending to cause harm to Rhys and not caring for a single moment about the consequences of his actions.

Jack is also given a free pass when it comes to the Gwack stuff. I never understood why people claim that Gwen ‘threw herself at Jack’ when almost every scene which implied Gwack, Jack is the one making moves. He’s the one who does the sexy gun lesson, he’s the one who corners her in the cells and does version two of ‘I came back for you,’ he’s the one sending longing glances at her as she’s kissing Rhys. And yes, these things are returned. But, once again Jack is given a free pass when he knows Gwen is in a relationship and yet does not have the decency to honour that either.

So are we seeing the pattern when it comes to the biggest reason Gwen is hated? The men are given free passes and loved while the woman is given all the blame. Each one made their choices and none of them were good. So why does the fandom only punish the woman?

Also, I would like to quickly address that she also gets hate for ‘getting in the way of Jack and Ianto’ which A. Is absolutely untrue, she never once tries to get Jack to choose her over Ianto, never acts like it’s a competition, is never once anything but sweet to Ianto. She is supportive of them and is never canonically attempting to get between them. B. Is pretty damn close to fetishism and blaming women for ‘getting in the way of your m/m ship’ needs to be re-examined.

Now, as I mentioned above, the premise of the show is often ignored in order to hate on Gwen. RTD has stated that Torchwood is about flawed and real human beings trying to save the world. They are not outright heroes, and they never claim to be. They are doing their best but they are all still human.

Human beings make mistakes. Human beings have emotional reactions that are irrational. Human beings do bad things for selfish reasons. Human beings can be inherently good people who made bad decisions and they can also be inherently bad people who do good things some times. Human beings are flawed and that’s the point of the show.

Gwen was not written to be the antithesis to this. She was written as an outsider coming into this new world and quickly learning how it changes you and affects you and can even bring our your more human traits. She was simply brought in to bring a new perspective for the team, not because she’s better than them.

But, so often this premise of real human beings trying to save the world and do what they can is ignored in order to hate Gwen. She’s just as flawed as everyone else, she’s not more flawed or any worse than anyone else on the team. But, their flaws are either ignored or brushed off in order to love them.

Ianto is the fandom golden child. I get it. I adore him with my whole heart. But, he manipulated everyone on the team, emotionally manipulated Jack, used the team in order to do what he had to to save Lisa. He got innocent people killed. He’s been shown to resort to killing when it felt needed. He has a dark side and he is not without his own flaws. He betrayed Jack twice and then went behind his back again in Adrift. He is not perfect. He is good, but he is human and makes mistakes.

Owen is a self-proclaimed twat who spends the entirety of series one purposefully trying to get Gwen to cheat on her boyfriend, being an absolute dick to Tosh. Not to mention he full on date r**** two people in the first episode. He also betrays Jack and nearly ends the world trying to do what he thought was right. Owen makes mistakes. He does really fucked up shit, but that’s what Torchwood is isn’t it? He’s fucked up but he does what he can to save the world. We love him for his growth and don’t let his mistakes make him hated by the fandom.

Tosh isn’t perfect either. She invaded her teammates’ inner most private thoughts and brought an alien into Torchwood. Yes, she was manipulated into it, but she listened in on Gwen and Owen because she was jealous. Jealousy and pettiness are very much shown within Tosh’s character. From the comments she makes to Gwen about getting her feet under the table, to invading their privacy to her tension about Martha. Tosh made mistakes and she has some not very nice qualities to her personality. But, we love her because she’s Torchwood and she’s good and we can forgive her mistakes because she’s human.

Jack lived a conman’s life. He’s resorted to killing before asking questions, he’s physically tortured peopl. Jack refused to let his team know a single thing about him and kept them in the dark when the truth could have helped everyone. He abandoned them and for a long time was only using Torchwood as a way to wait for the Doctor to come back and he would leave. He makes decisions that other people wouldn’t, he tells Gwen to keep a hold of her life with Rhys but would have been the first in line to sleep with her had she asked him to. But, we love Jack because he is Jack Harkness and he cares and he does so much to save the world and takes so much weight on his shoulders. He is a flawed human being doing what he can to do good and we forgive him because we know he’s trying.

The other team members get the forgiveness of the premise of the show, and yet Gwen doesn’t. Why? She’s just as much part of the team and while she was written to be the protagonist and main character, the premise of the show still extends to her. So, why is she hated for falling under that same flawed human being saving the world umbrella that the rest of the team is protected by?

Anyway, I’m sure there’s more I could say on the matter. But, honestly what this boils down to is that I understand the other characters deserved more storylines and air time, what they gave Gwen wasn’t used well because the writers didn’t treat her well either.

But the constant need to tear Gwen down in order to love the other characters is absolutely unnecessary.

#Gwen Cooper #Torchwood #ianto jones #jack harkness #owen harper #toshiko sato #; I haven’t much left to say in the tags but there’s that

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Most Hated Characters

As y’all can see, this week’s T5F is a request sent in by anon. I picked it because I guess at the time I thought it would be fun to explore some of TWDG’s least popular, and most hated, characters while also taking into account characters that I can’t stand. 

These are characters that the vast majority of us don’t like or downright despise for many different reasons. None of us are going out of our ways to defend most of these bastards, and anyone who is I get the impression they’re doing so for the sake of being Different™... though while looking around for info about these characters and what people were saying about them, I did find myself in some odd places.... come across, eh... odd fanart. 

But I guess this is the part where I say this is all in good fun and if you happen to be a legit stan of any of these people, that’s cool. Maybe you can answer some of my questions as to why??

5. Nate 

Okay, when I said that I found myself in odd places, it turns out that Nate actually has a bit of a fanbase. It’s not big or anything, from what I can tell, but big enough for me to question why because I was under the impression that we all agreed that this dude sucks.

Seriously, I would’ve put him higher on this list if I hadn’t discovered this handful of people making fanart for him and claiming him as a comfort character. While I find that an odd choice, you do whatever makes you feel comforted, y’know? Just would like to understand why. 

As for the rest of us, he’s terrible. Every time I go back to 400 days, he’s someone I never look forward to seeing. I’ve even tried not getting in the truck with him while playing Russell’s story, but in true Telltale fashion, you’re forced to drive along with this creep. 

Red flags start going off when Russell’s sharing his story about his previous group, something you can tell left some trauma with him, and Nate is just weirdly fixated on the girl Russell liked. Like yeah okay dude, I get it, it’s the apocalypse and you haven’t had any action for a while but oh my god. 

Then the whole walker thing that almost gets Russell chomped is annoying. Oh, and how could I forget about how it’s implied that he attacked the old couple before and was there to finish them off, which he does no matter what and it’s not great. 

Hell, he even uses the line Russell gave him but it’s worse because crazy eyes. And if you don’t say anything, Nate murders them right there without a thought and then continues to be a real creep. Fuck this guy. 

As the wise Eddie once said, “I don’t what that guy in my life, man!” 

4. The Stranger

Hey, have I ever mentioned how much this dude sucks? 

I don’t even have to tell you why he’s on this list. We all know the obvious reasons-- manipulated and kidnapped Clementine, which caused Lee to get bit by a walker and fucking die. No one here is white-knighting for this dipshit. 

Sure, it sucks what the Stranger went through. He lost his family and that would be enough to drive anyone up the wall. I mean, just look at Kenny. But this dude, okay. Look. Listen. I can only feel so bad for you when you lost your son on a hunting trip that your wife told you not to go on, then when you went looking for him, you literally left the car unlocked and running for anyone to come across. Then you come back and gasp. So your wife leaves you for being a moron... then when you find her dead, you cut off her head and keep it like a damn bowling ball because...??

At least that’s what I get from it. The writers probably should’ve done a better job with explaining what the hell happened but y’know. 

That’s not the only reason no one likes this guy. Oh no, you also add to the pile that the Stranger himself is dull. As a character, the dude is just.... boring. And I get that’s probably what they were going for with the whole “I’m just a guy, but you ruined my life and made me this way.” 

However, when you set him up the way you did with the talks over the walkie and the stalking, I was expecting a bit more personality outta this loaf of soggy bread. But no... boring yet crazy. Interesting combo and I’m afraid it doesn’t work. 

3. Larry

Larry?? On a list of most hated characters?? Nooo...

Yeah, surprise. Larry also sucks. Stop the presses. 

Larry is a pain in the ass to deal with for two episodes, constantly belittling the people around him and treating his daughter like shit. Oh, and don’t forget how he behaves towards Lee even if you try to be as nice as possible. Nope, he doesn’t care, he still thinks Lee is garbage and will continue threatening to reveal Lee’s secret to the group. Who cares if that could fuck up the dynamic and endanger the group? Larry sure doesn’t. 

Until the very end, this dude is just a splinter in the foot. By the time you get to the meat locker and he has a heart attack, you’re not gonna save him because you think he’ll be better if he survives. No, you’re attempting to save him for Lilly and Clementine’s sake, and if you don’t even care about that, you siding with Mr. Family Man to smash his head in. 

Not only is he a soiled diaper, he also don’t have much personality outside of asshole. He has maybe two moments where he’s shown to be just a bit chill? I mean, Lilly tells us that he has a lot of pain and that’s why he’s like this.... but that doesn’t excuse his behavior. 

Oh, and can’t forget that apparently he was obsessed with Lilly leaving the lights on so he let the power get cut, so Lilly couldn’t eat ice cream and had to let her hair air dry like a heathen. Unforgivable. 

So yeah, fuck Larry. 

2. Troy

Ugh, Troy. Fuck this guy. 

No really, out of all TWDG characters, this dude and my #1 pick are my most hated. Can’t stand Troy and the only reason I didn’t do a tie for #1 is because for a split second, Troy does show a tiny bit of humanity when Carver is beating down Carver, but blink and you’ll miss it.

Which had me a little concerned to find a handful of posts about having crushes on Troy and drawing fanart but.... again, I guess you do you? And if you can, please explain why because I honestly don’t understand. 

Just looking at the screenshot of him annoys him. He’s got one of those punchable faces, y’know? 

Anyway, when playing as Clementine, I’m always worried that he’s gonna pop up outta no where and grab her by the neck like he does later in ep3, even though I’ve played s2 a bunch to know that he’s not going to. 

But hell, he doesn’t need any excuse to smack anyone around, and there are a handful of times he can really hurt Clem depending on her choices. 

Not great, dude. 

Can’t say I’m too sorry that Jane shot your dick off. 

1. Badger

Yeah, you guys remember Badger. Y’know.... the man who murdered Mariana then laughed about it, claiming that he enjoyed watching her head explode and would do it again and again if he could? 

That’s what puts him at #1. He may not have the most screen time like Larry or Troy, but when he is around, he’s fucking awful.

He gets joy from killing Mariana, like it’s some sort of sick thrill for him to go around murdering children and other innocent people. 

Remember Francine? Caught her and used her as bait to try and get Javi to come down, and even went as far as to have some fingers cut off. Like, he gets off on destroying people, entire communities.

Shit, he seems to even get off to his own beat down. 

He’s fucking gross and outta everyone on this list, I haven’t found a single person being like “Yeah, he’s garbage but I like him kinda?” like no, you’re such garbage that even the Different™ crowd don’t want you. 

Fuck Badger. 

By the way, if you’ve never had Conrad kill him in your game, I suggest looking it up. It’s pretty good. Gives Conrad a little bit of closure after what happened to Francine, as well as give Javi some closure for Mari’s murder. 

Not a single soul wept for you, Badger. 

---

Dishonorable Mentions

-Joan. She’s boring, forgettable, and no one is out here gushing over her because most of the time, we can’t even remember her name. -Danny from Vince’s story in 400 Days. Y’know, the dude going to prison because he was convicted of SA. I’ll never understand why people go with him over Justin. Justin sucks, too, but not the same level Danny does.  -Lilly in S4. Ugh. That’s a whole other topic for another day. -Arvo, though I guess he has a bit of a following, too

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Well there ya go. Do you agree or disagree with any of my choices for this list? Or have anything to add? I’m always down to chat.

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

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Next week’s T5F Top 5 BROTPs

#twdg t5f #twdg clementine #twdg lee #twdg kenny #twdg lilly #twdg larry #twdg jane #twdg troy #twdg russell #twdg nate #twdg aj #twdg #twdg joan #twdg danny #twdg arvo #twdg conrad #twdg javi #twdg mariana #twdg badger

[hopelesshawks]

Physical Fatality Part 13- Icarus

18+ Hawks x fem, pro hero!reader

Summary: You’re a rising star in All Might’s agency. Hawks is the darling of Endeavor’s. By virtue of your job descriptions, the two of you are supposed to hate each other, or at the very least be cautiously neutral. For a long time that’s exactly what the two of you did. You stayed out of each other’s way and formed little opinion of the other. One fateful night at an HPSC gala changes all that. Based on the album Hopeless Fountain Kingdom by Halsey.

If you don’t want to see Physical Fatality content blacklist #hopelesspf

This story will have multiple NSFW parts so it is 18+ ONLY minors dni

Warning for very slight suicidal themes this fic has a happy ending I swear

Masterlist

Agony.

Losing you is agony.

Endeavor is lecturing him for pulling the stunt with Bakugo earlier that day but he can’t hear or really process any of it when all he can think about is the fact you’ve blocked his number and seem to want nothing to do with him. He vaguely registers words of “I told you so” and “I warned you” and even a word or two about a demotion but none of it matters. Hawks doesn’t know how to do anything but be a hero. It’s been the driving force behind a lot of the choices he’s made in your relationship and he knows it’s the same for you, but that doesn’t make any of this easier.

“You’re going to have to work really hard to earn my trust back Hawks and the trust of your coworkers,” Endeavor warns. “Understood,” Hawks replies, his voice almost detached. It seems to disconcert Endeavor, the other man being far more accustomed to the snarky Hawks persona than the serious man in front of him now. “Hawks, uhm, do you,” Endeavor stutters suddenly unsure. He coughs to cover his discomfort and clears his throat before resuming. “Do you need to talk about what happened between you and Artemis?” he finally manages to ask. He looks so deeply uncomfortable potentially talking about the subject and his discomfort only grows when Hawks continues to give him nothing back. “That won’t be necessary,” Hawks replies before turning and walking out of the office. If Hawks doesn’t know how to live without hero work, Keigo doesn’t know how to live without you. So his only option is to abandon Keigo until the pain stops.

He can’t have slept more than a handful of hours that night but he still wakes up early the next morning to run an extra patrol before his normally scheduled one. He files paperwork, even revisits old cases, all in a bid to keep you off his mind. Of course it’s not enough to stop his coworkers from whispering. Typically he ignores the gossip of the lower ranking heroes but it’s hard when he knows they’re speculating about you and him. It certainly doesn’t help that your break up was so public and now it feels like nearly all of Japan has watched the video of it happening. Hawks used to be the darling of Endeavor’s agency, beloved by all of his coworkers. Now he’s practically a pariah.

His new outcast status is only made more obvious at the cocktail party later that day. He’d wanted to skip it entirely, the fact you were supposed to be his plus one to the event made it all the more unappealing, but he’s already skating on thin ice and had no legitimate excuse to justify his absence. So instead he watches the other heroes talk and drink and laugh about things while he hides in the corner, too exhausted and heartbroken to put up the persona necessary to maintain conversation. No one seems to ask about him anyway or even care what he thinks despite the fact it’s his personal life that’s become the hottest topic in all of Japan. He wonders if this is how Icarus felt as he plummeted to the earth. Hawks had flown too close to your light and warmth and now he’s fallen from grace. He wonders if it’s true that Icarus laughed as he fell. If so he can empathize. As painful as this fall is, he would live it over and over if it meant he could catch even a glimpse of you again.

When Shoto comes to join him it’s literally the first genuine interaction he’s had all day. “You look like shit,” Shoto comments by way of greeting. “Thanks. Feel like it too,” Hawks replies. He doesn’t have to pretend with Shoto and for that he’s grateful. “Are you ok?” Shoto asks. “Even though I’ve always hated these things I was always so good at them,” Hawks starts in response. “I’d talk, drink, laugh just like everyone’s doing, be the center of attention, play the part of the charming number two hero. And look at me now. I’m so fucking anxious about what they’ll say about me, about her, about us and what happened that I can’t have a proper fucking conversation. I used to be on fire and now I’m standing in the ashes of who I used to be and I’m just fading away. Without her I’m fading away. I’m just as pathetic as she said,” Keigo confesses and it’s a weight off but it also makes the hollow space behind his ribs where you used to live feel all the more prominent. “This right here is kind of pathetic,” Shoto starts, earning him a shocked almost laugh from the other man, “but you are not pathetic Hawks. I think (y/n) knows that, she’s just hurting. Rightfully so. The bullshit with the others in the agency will get better too.” “I don’t know about that one.” “You’re not the only one who’s done dumb or bad shit. Not by a long shot.” “Really?” “You know Iida?” Shoto asks, pointing to the man in question as he obliviously continues his conversation with one of the others present. “Yea. Your year at UA, stickler for the rules. What about him?” Hawks asks. “He chose his internship our first year with the sole intention of trying to hunt down and kill Stain to avenge his brother.” “Really? That guy?” “Yep. My dad isn’t so innocent either: quirk marriage, child abuse, oh the stories I could tell you.” “Jesus Christ.” “Exactly. Everyone has their own shit Hawks. This will pass and hopefully you and (y/n) can find your ways back to each other when it does.”

Shortly after Todoroki finishes speaking his phone rings and he frowns down in confusion when he notices it’s Bakugo calling him. “I didn’t think we had task force business today,” Shoto says as he answers the phone. “We don’t. Is Hawks there with you?” Bakugo asks, his tone betraying his worry. “Yea he is.” “Shit.” “What’s going on Bakugo?” “It’s about (y/n),” Bakugo admits and Shoto’s eyes widen. He casts a look at Hawks before finally deciding to drag the other man with him to an empty office on the floor they’re currently on. He locks the door behind them and then pops his phone on speaker. “Ok you’re on speaker with me and Hawks what’s going on with (y/n)?” Shoto asks, his voice remaining calm. “All Might fired her last night so she was supposed to come in this morning and collect her stuff except instead she pretty much just threw everything away. I came back to patrol and found out she’d left Midoriya and I little gifts on our desk which was weird, so I hit up her roommates and apparently she never went home after she swung by here. I thought she and Hawks may have run off together but if he’s with you...” Bakugo explains. “Maybe she’s just clearing her head or something,” Shoto suggests. “No way. The whole of Japan is gossiping about her right now, the last thing she’d want is to be out in public,” Bakugo quickly refutes. “Was there anything else off about your desks? Drawers opened?” Hawks asks. “Maybe, I wasn’t paying that much attention. Why?” Bakugo asks. “Your task force notes still there?” Hawks asks in lieu of an answer. Hawks and Shoto wait with baited breath as they hear the sound of Bakugo moving around and then opening a desk drawer. “Nope, they’re gone,” Bakugo finally reports back. “Thought so. (Y/n) wouldn’t just roll over and kiss her career goodbye, she’s probably trying to take out the terrorist cell herself and use it as leverage to get her job back,” Hawks deduces. “Alone? That’s a suicide mission,” Shoto says. “Hence the gifts on the desks,” Hawks replies grimly. “Most of our notes are over there with you guys though,” Bakugo points out. As if on cue an alarm starts blaring overhead warning of an intruder. “That’s gotta be her,” Hawks says. “I’m on my way, hold her there so we can talk some sense into that idiot,” Bakugo tells them before promptly hanging up the phone.

Hawks has to give credit where credit is due. As foolhardy as your plan is, it’s incredibly well executed. As a former member of the guest list, you would’ve known everyone would be occupied with the cocktail party on one of the lower floors, far away from where the files you need are. The elevators will take forever with so many people trying to all get upstairs which only leaves the stairs, which are marginally better but still relatively slow. You must have spent most of the night planning this out. That thought fills Hawks with a certain amount of dread. You’re probably emotional and sleep deprived on your way to take on an entire villain group yourself all in a desperate bid to save your career. It almost sounds ludicrous. Yet, as Hawks races to the top floor in hopes of catching you, all he can think of is something you’d once told him during happier times, late at night as you two were wrapped up in each other:

“Honestly Kei? I’d rather die a hero than live long enough to prove those stupid reporters right about me.”

Author’s Note: Does this still count as a double update if I’m posting the second one after midnight 💀 anyway I can’t believe how quickly I was able to get this chapter out. The image of Hawks standing in the corner of a massive company party feeling like a shell of himself is actually a large part of what sold me on writing this fic for him. The song this chapter correlates to just felt so right for his character that I knew it couldn’t be anyone else. I thought about waiting to post this until later tomorrow today? but I’m ✨impatient✨ so instead y’all get it now

Taglist [open]: @akkaso @cathy8taffy @eeppff @iikillerkitteh @pixelwisp @pokesosa @lildockel @bread0nhead @lavender-moon13

#hopelesspf #hawks #wing hero hawks #hawks x reader #hawks x y/n #cw suicide mention #tw suicide mention

[reynie-muldoons]

'Depends on the Wagon' liveblog!

I saw someone do timestamps in their liveblog and it was absolutely lovely, so I think I'll try that too

1:55 why does Curtain sound like an mlm ceo LMAO

2:07 WOW ASSHOLE 😂😂 waving off your own teacher when he was complimenting you is not the vibe

2:17 so Dr. Curtian is only available through chain emails. Got it.

2:27 he seems like the kind of asshole to say that people on welfare are lazy and exploitave but then like, not pay his taxes

2:42 I DON'T LIKE HOW HE SAID THAT, THAT WAS CREEPY

2:47 oooooh Constance, always asking the right questions

3:05 Kate, why are you yelling, it's literally past curfew 😂

3:35 oh hai Jackson.. gtfo

4:22 oh yeah, the best way out is through the hallway that Jackson just entered. Good plane, babe.

4:25 soooo Kate Depending On Friends arc :)

4:59 AYYY HI RHONDA!!

5:13 why do I kinda fucking love then all deciphering the Morse code together

5:20 so the kids use the gemini riddle? Not the adults???

5:36 his face when he figures it out 😭😭😭

5:46 Nathaniel? Guess that's Dr. Curtain's name now. Less ridiculous than Ledroptha, but you dont get the badass Let Drop the Curtain reference

6:53 okay so no one knew he had a brother? But he did???

7:21 his faaaace 🥺

7:29 AWWW HE COULDNT BRING HIMSELF TO SHARE 😭😭😭 okay I'm kinda on board with the change if they can make it work in the long-haul

7:42 hi Milligan, good timing 😂

7:56 "not the time.........I'll take a dozen" Number Two my LOVE

8:23 interesting. I dont think Mr. Benedict was adopted in the books? He certainly didn't let Violet's family, the Hopefields, because he knew their financial troubles would be even worse. So who?

8:54 ohhhh dear, stages of grief at work. Maybe don't do that

9:05 I talked about this in the MBS discord server, but I think the show is really nailing Mr. Benedict's feelings. He's always been an emotional person, but he has to be so careful. Bottling up your feelings only leads to bigger feelings later. It makes so much sense for Mr. Benedict to be a whirlpool of strong, repressed emotions.

9:11 MILLIGAN'S FACE JAHAHS

9:34 RHONDA'S FACE HAGSKDGDJ

9:40 Mr. Benedict, sweetheart 🥺❤

10:01 "brothers stick together" why does it sound like he's talking about Reynie here 😭😭😭😭

10:12 that is a good ass point, Mr. Benedict already lied to them once

10:21 it makes sense for Sticky to be the one questioning the most because of his anxiety, but damn

10:46 AWWWWWW

10:56 KATE MAKING A BED FORT KATE MAKING A BED FORT KATE MAKING A BED FORT

11:00 I dont like how aggressive Kate is but it makes sense considering she's been in the circus for years, taking care of herself for far longer than she hasn't. She's not good at depending on people, and she's not good with difficult people.

11:10 Yeahh, Constance gets it!

11:40 Yeahhh, Constance gets it

12:55 that teacher seemed pretty nice last episode, nice to see that they're not what they seem just the same as Dr. Curtain lol

13:28 CONSTANCE I LOVE YOU 😂😂

14:00 "check again" okay so Krista from the tests and Martina give off the same vibe.. perfect 😂

14:16 "yeah......hang in there :D"

15:05 all of the apologies to the general class.. he's such an anxious sweetheart. He's really reading as autistic to me.

My sister just called me 😑 it's like 8 am, I answered her like "did you ever consider that you might be waking me up?" She did not consider that 😂

15:22 Martina's face just growing more and more annoyed and disgruntled HAHA

15:29 that was CORRECT?? WHAAAA

15:51 throwback to when I compared Dr. Curtain to an mlm ceo.. definitely like a cult

16:44 ohhhh Martina

17:30 CONSTANCE HEARING VOICES HELLOOOOO

18:22 ayyyyyy helper man

18:40 he seems too cheery to be a helper .-. The helpers all being super sad made [redacted]'s story make a whole lot more sense

19:35 aaaand now we get to it. You know, it really does seem a lot more cultish on screen than in the book

19:53 WAIT CONSTANCE GOOD JOB PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER 😂😂😂😂

19:53 that cut to Milligan making that exact face was INCREDIBLE

20:05 was he tryna leave? Yeah, good fuckin luck bucko

20:10 "critical papers at home" my ass, they packed everything up

20:24 the stages of grief back at it. 🥺

20:38 their relationship >>>>

21:00 "located in the..?" *description of envelope* "located in the....?" *more description* "located in the????" 😂😂😂😂

21:34 ohhhhh Thursday must be the student ranking day

21:56 Martina seems like the kind to throw out "pick a god and pray" as a crit quote 😂

22:07 I don't see any of the Society'a names on the list. Maybe they havent been there long enough

22:17 OH SHIT JK THERE THEY ARE

22:25 ohh Kate and Constance

22:55 the combination of the ferry horn and the bell makes it weirdly grim

23:55 them bringing Kate up and reminding her that she's needed 😌✨

24:29 hi Milligan bb ilyyyy

24:35 real good lookout guys, y'all are so well hidden

24:52 AYY HE'S DOING IT KATE STYLE

26:31 "visionary" is a word for it

26:31 I really kinda love that Number Two and Rhonda are going to such depths to try and help Mr. Benedict figure this out for sure

26:56 Mr. Benedict fully walking away while they talk about his brothers accomplishments 😂 I'm laughing, but poor guy

27:08 his FACE 🥺

27:28 HERE'S THAT TANTRUM FROM THE TRAILER

27:28 take your guesses how many times will he fall asleep

27:50 "he just has to work through some things" you dont fuckin say

27:55 you mean to tell me he had a full blown meltdown and they didn't show him falling asleep once??

28:35 like father like daughter 😌✨

29:10 ayyyy secret desk compartment

29:19 honestly I'm surprised there were actually papers he needed and it wasnt an excuse to go confront Dr. Curtain

29:32 oh shit, how'd they manage to get that far inside? No one was there to guard it, but the maze itself is a security measure

29:42 KATE STYLE STRIKES AGAIN

29:47 ooooh I like Dr. Curtain's office

30:01 WAS THAT SQ AND DID HE JUST CALL DR. CURTAIN HIS DAD

30:41 birds have careers. Got it 😂

30:50 JOURNAAAL

31:02 the fox?? Reynard the fox???

31:27 ohhh here we go, Dr. Curtain sees himself in Reynie only to resent it later

31:37 Mr. Benedict called Reynie a leader once too.. the parallels have ✨begun✨

32:12 is this the "keep your enemies close" conversation??

32:15 I'm honestly surprised he called him Sticky and not George

32:42 IT IS SQ IT IS SQ IT IS SQ

32:59 sooo that starts by not letting his caution down with you

33:11 Dr. Curtain congratulating himself mid-conversation on saying something deep is so in character

33:20 "I was betrayed by someone very close to me" so that was Mr. Benedict. Who the fuck else would it be

33:23 WHAT DID I SAAAAY

33:31 oh noooo Reynie starts doubting Mr. Benedict here? Is that the move?

33:43 that transition was so pretty stoppp

33:53 again how hasn't he fallen asleep

34:55 ayyyy journal snooping

35:05 Constance, my love, you are cut throat

35:11 Milligan is in the DRYWALL? ohh buddy be careful

35:21 omfg are they talking about water polo 😂 I love that that's the sport of choice

35:51 ayyyy they put the Milligan dots together too. Shame the guy's not with them rn

36:36 so Mr. Benedict brings up cheating first? I really like how we get to see the adults riddling out what to send back, we didn't get that at all in the books

37:46 I LOVE THAT THEY KEPT "don't get caught"

38:51 Kate riddling out the island schematics engineer style is so like her

39:07 they're just walking out the door?? Huh???

39:29 babe... turn off your flashlight

39:33 AND THAT'S WHY

39:58 is that the precursor to chuckroot?

40:38 the papers were from his orphanage 🥺🥺🥺

41:14 why does that break my heart

41:19 Dr. Curtain and SQ doing shit together it just.. so heartwarming

42:00 HAHA

42:16 okay, so show!Curtain is a kissass 😂

42:35 wait wait wait so Dr. Curtain is actively trying to contain his brother? That would explain why the Recruiters were looking for him and weirdly not the kids

43:25 "power wants to be free" sounds more like a personal mantra than a conversation between engineers

43:41 YES A LETTER TO MISS PERUMAL

44:02 more voices. Poor Connie girl 🥺

44:36 he loves her so much 😭😭😭

44:45 SHE TRIED TO SEND HIM A CARE PACKAGE

45:13 WORRIED MOM TIMEEE

#mbs liveblog #mbs disney+ #depends on the wagon #mysterious benedict society #charity's talkies

[crazy-loca-blog]

Personal thoughts on Open Heart Second Year… and the mess with the Ethan plot

Note: As the title says, these are just personal opinions on Choices books and chapters. Of course, you may agree or disagree with them, I only use this platform to express my thoughts on what I read every week and what I’d like to see in the next chapters, because none of my friends play Choices so I have no one to comment the books with.

What can I say? That Ethan thing escalated quickly. And for some reason, after romancing this character for two books already, I feel like I need to share my POV about all of this.

In all of my posts about Open Heart, I try to do my best to cover or at least to have some knowledge of what’s happening on every LI route. I watch videos on YouTube or I ask people to share screenshots or to tell me what happened so that I can understand how everyone is progressing. And I don’t do it just to please everyone or to try to be neutral… I do it because I’m convinced that the Open Heart series has given us one of the best sets of LIs in this app. Trust me, I’ve been playing Choices for over three years now and there are only a few books where I’ve seen people this level of confused about who to romance because every LI is awesome.

But the truth is, even though I make my best efforts, my MC is romancing Ethan (and I’m a sucker for that man), so his plot is the one that I know the most. So welcome to my TED Talk about why Ethan’s route seem to be all over the place now. I really hope this post help people to understand why Ethan stans are mad (because I feel like everyone is arguing or complaining, but no one has taken the time to explain this thing) and also to understand that this isn’t something against the rest of the LIs, but only something very specific about Ethan’s route, especially in the last few weeks.

In case you’re not romancing Ethan, let me explain this to you to put things in context: even though after the hiatus there was some stuff that was already weird, during the last two chapters, people who’ve been romancing Ethan have been feeling that something just doesn’t add up. We all know he’s the slow burn of the series and we’ve been dealing with it for a long time now, so that’s nothing new to us as we signed up for it. But after the incident, the romantic relationship between the MC and Ethan moved forward and then you had the choice to have a “secret relationship” or to “keep things informal” (they’re literally “whatever they want to be”). And things seemed to be fine until Chapter 17… the gala. Not only we got a very public display of affection, but there were also some dialogs that led us to think that Ethan had finally got rid of his morals and that they were finally having their “happily ever after”. But then, Chapter 18 felt like going back to Book 1 all over again, you had this constant feeling of Ethan pushing our MC away. The same behavior was repeated during Chapter 19 and it was especially evident when they had their last scene at Edenbrook. Sure, it worked perfectly fine if you’re not romancing him, but to see them basically saying stuff like “goodbye”, “thanks for everything” and “you’ll be a great doctor” sure sounds like “wtf” after all you went through if you’re romancing him.

As you may see, things felt so weird, that it got us all wondering what happened between Chapter 17 and 18 that their relationship changed so much. And today, there was a post where someone (sorry, I can’t remember your user now!) explained what the original plot for Ethan and the MC was and why now there are so many things that don’t make any sense if you’re romancing him. The original plot was basically Ethan and the MC having a secret relationship that was discovered by someone. After they’re discovered, this person blackmails them and Ethan breaks up with the MC to save their career. In the original script, by the time of Chapter 18 and Chapter 19 they are not together, that’s why Ethan is so distant… but what about the gala? The gala was originally meant to be part of the final chapter. Does this make any sense to you now? I really hope so!

Now, in my very, very personal opinion… I think this actually stopped being about Ethan a long time ago. To me, this is now about all LIs in this book and how awful has been the rewrite for all of us, despite all the content that was added. When I look at this series, I always felt like the relationships were moving differently. I always perceived like Bryce and Jackie were the ones that were going faster, Rafael was like two steps behind them, and then Ethan was like five steps behind them all (because slow burn, you know). But during Book 2, I felt like Ethan was moving, Rafael just disappeared for half of the book (the worst and most disrespectful move ever!), and Bryce and Jackie sure made some improvements, but overall the relationship seemed to be a little stuck. And this is where I think there are two brilliant moments that were awfully wasted:

1. The incident: this was the opportunity where we all had a chance to deepen the bound with our LI, not only during the incident, but also after the funeral. And honestly, I’m still wondering why the writers only took that route with Ethan and not with the rest of the LIs. I assume it has to do with the original plot that I explained before but still… why the relationships with Bryce, Jackie and Rafael didn’t progress into something more serious at that time? What was the excuse to just not doing it?

2. The gala: this is another great milestone that could have worked even better than the first one. This was THE moment of the book where FINALLY all LIs seemed to be at the same level in their relationships, like… it was so evident to me that everything was there for them to move on… and sure they did, they went “public”. But it almost felt like a Cinderella story where after midnight everything goes back to what used to be normal a year ago: if it weren’t for the individual scenes we had with the LIs in Chapter 18, you could say that not only Ethan was pushing your MC away, but also that your MC was only having a hook up with Jackie, Bryce and Rafael. Too much work at the hospital? Maybe. But we had just taken this huge step in our relationships during the gala and then it felt like “nothing” happened for a long time!

If you follow my posts, you know that I adore Bryce with all my heart and soul, that I was the happiest person when Rafael wasn’t killed (and that I’m dying to see PB exploiting this new bound with the MC), and that I couldn’t be more proud to see how much Jackie has evolved as a character throughout the series. So I really hope you know I strongly disagree with people who want the original book back because no, I’m really glad that they didn’t kill Rafael and I’m really, really happy that the rest of the LIs got more scenes and that we had more bonding time with our friends, that’s absolutely out of question to me. However, I don’t know if I’ll ever understand why the writers had to quit that Ethan plot to make room to that new content, especially when Open Heart is by far the most popular series in the app at the moment and a lot of people not only would have loved to see extra long chapters, but also wouldn’t have had a problem with paying for those extra diamond scenes that could have been part of the plot.

#playchoices #choices stories you play #open heart #choices open heart #open heart choices #casey valentine #ethan ramsey #bryce lahela #rafael aveiro #jackie varma

[lovingkaneko]

Speakers (Colt x MC)

Summary: Colt has had enough of his neighbor blasting the worst music in the middle of the night.

Author Note: Just something I thought of in the shower. I got carried away with the story and the characters, there’s so much I could write about this. But I’ll keep it a one part thing :,) This is my favorite story I’ve got so far

Book: Ride or Die: A Bad Boy Romance | Choices: Stories You Play (AU)

Pairing: Colt Kaneko x MC | Ellie Wheeler

Word Count: ~2.7k

Rating: Mature (swearing) this is mostly fluff.

I pressed my pillow into my face, trying to drown out the torturous music coming from next door. I physically couldn’t bare to listen to it anymore. This was my first night in my new apartment and I regretted moving away from my dad already. He obviously didn’t want me to be with his crew, for a reason I didn’t understand, so I decided to leave. I won’t stay where I’m unwanted. But if this keeps going, I’m going to lose my mind. 

“Is that-- One Direction? Are you fucking serious?” I groaned loudly, not wanting to get up to face my neighbor. She’s probably a stupid teenage girl obsessed with Harry Styles or something. It’s not 2013 anymore, why is she still listening to them? The music stopped abruptly and I sighed with relief, placing the pillow back under my head. I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off in the silence. It felt like sleep was an inch away and in my grasp, but I was awoken suddenly.

“YOU’RE INSECURE, DON’T KNOW WHAT FOR!”

“Oh my fucking GOD!” I shouted, sitting up and banging on the wall, “Shut up!”

The music stopped once more and I calmed down. Finally, I was able to sleep comfortably without having to be tortured by the sound of British boys. I woke up the next morning feeling exhausted and irritable as usual, I checked my phone to find a message from Ximena. She had simply asked if I was coming over to the garage, an innocent yes or no question. Why would she even bother to text me? I put my phone in my pocket without answering.

Closing my apartment door, I stepped out into the hallway. The floor creaked, reminding me of how cheap my rent is. I made my way down shaky stairs, thinking about seeing the crew. If I’m being honest, they were fun to hang out with. They were tolerable, besides Logan. That guy presses all my buttons and the urge to punch him is almost irresistible.

I got to the parking lot, reaching into the pockets of my leather jacket for my keys. After searching in every spot on my body, I groaned. I had left them inside my room, how the fuck did I forget?

I turned back around and made my way back up the stairs, cursing under my breath. As I approached my door, I noticed a girl locking her door next to mine. 

Oh, so this is the annoying Directioner. 

Except, she didn’t look like just any teenage girl. Her hair was put into a tight braid off to the side of her shoulder and my eyes did indeed trail down her body. She was stunning, but that didn’t excuse the fact that she took away from my precious rest. 

“Hey, you,” I called out to her and she turned to look at me in shock, her eyes widening innocently. I suddenly felt a twinge of guilt, I was on the verge of complaining about her music but I decided against it.

I closely examined her features, suddenly discouraged. I had to think of something else to say. 

“Can I borrow your bobby pin?” I asked in a bored voice, she still looked like a deer in the headlights but she took a few seconds before relaxing.

“A bobby pin? For what?” Her voice was sweet and pretty, matching her exterior. Yet, I was still shocked at how innocent she sounded.

“It’s none of your business,” I said and she furrowed her eyebrows.

“Well then why should I let you borrow it?” She was suddenly angry, I was taken aback by her new attitude.

“You know what? Forget it,” I scoffed before turning away from her. She laughed and I looked at her again in frustration.

“I was joking,” She took the bobby pin out of her hair, making her bangs fall over her face, “Here.”

She handed it to me and my jaw clenched, not wanting to pay attention to her. As innocent as she seemed, I knew she was trying to get into my pants, which wasn’t going to happen.

“Thanks,” I went back to my door and began to pick the lock.

“Woah hold up, are you breaking into that room?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Isn’t that like... Illegal?” She asked as she subtly freaked out, I chuckled. If only she knew the rest of it.

“Sure,” I continued.

“Should I be calling the cops or--”

“It’s my room,” I cut her off with a sigh.

“Ohhh,” She realized and cleared her throat, “Don’t bother giving it back. I’ve got millions more, um... Have a good day?” It sounded like a question.

“Okay,” I answered as I heard the lock click. I went inside, not saying goodbye to her. My keys were on my bed, of course. I picked them up before continuing with the rest of my day, not even thinking of her for a split second.

It wasn’t until that night, when the torture began again. 

“YOU GET THE LIMO OUT FRONT--”

“Fuck, not this again,” I whispered to myself, standing up. More than anything, I wanted to go banging on her door to complain. But as I was opening my door, I remembered that she had done me a favor earlier. The anger in my body subsided and I breathed slowly. Ellie was pissing me off.

“YOU GET THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS--”

“Can she at least pick good songs?” I slammed my door shut and went back to bed. Somehow, I managed to sleep with Hannah Montana playing next door.

I woke up later than usual the next day, getting ready in a better mood than usual. As I stepped out of my apartment, I noticed a note left on my doorstep. I was suddenly alarmed, was this a message from someone out to kill me and my father? I pulled my phone out, ready to dial the crew. I picked up the note and immediately, I lost all my excitement.

“Any song recommendations?”

Is she serious?

I went back into my room and grabbed a pen. Angrily, I scribbled a note back to her, “Just stop playing your fucking music at three in the morning.”

I pushed it under her door and continued with my day. The crew didn’t have much coming up lately and I was beyond bored. I laid in my bed, slamming my door to piss off my neighbor.

Immediately as I pulled out my phone, the music began.

“WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO RUDE?”

I chuckled, since she purposely picked that part of the song to start with. She was taunting me. As much as I hated pop songs like this one, I found myself tapping the side of my phone with the beat.

The music stopped and I figured she went to sleep, it was late anyway. I had no reason to stay up anymore, so I drifted off.

The music continued for days and it went back to being annoying. I had actually gone to tell her to shut it off after coming home from the garage, Logan had started a fight with me and I wasn’t taking any shit. Her music had been turned lower, it was all she had changed. 

I was thankful that she wasn’t blasting her speakers anymore.

However, one night was different. She had her music crazily low, but I still heard it, of course. I pressed my ear to the wall, curious as to what she was listening to, wondering why the daily routine had changed.

“I heard that you're settled down That you found a girl and you're married now”

"Adele? She’s never played that,” I whispered to myself, acknowledging the change of music. She was always listening to peppy love songs, but I guess she wasn’t feeling it tonight. 

This continued for a month, she played heartbreak songs at least once a week. There were days in which she didn’t listen to music at all, sometimes I’d hear her sing along. She wasn’t good, definitely not, but it was something different.

One night, I heard her playing The One That Got Away by Katy Perry. I had enough of it, I was dying of curiosity. I got up and left my room. I knocked on her door softly, as opposed to the aggressive knocks I’d do when I was telling her to shut up. The music stopped and the door clicked open. She peeked her head over the corner and her tear filled eyes widened as she saw me.

“Colt?” She asked before hiding behind the door, sniffling and I guessed wiping the tears away. She motioned for me to come in and I stepped inside. I felt suddenly uncomfortable, I liked knowing things and that was the ONLY reason that I was there. Obviously, something had happened with her and it was crucial for me to find out.

“What’s with the emo music lately? What happened to Justin Bieber?” I questioned as she looked at me with her bloodshot eyes. 

“Why do you care? I thought you hated it anyway,” She chuckled sadly, sniffling again. That was the thing, I didn’t care, so I don’t even know why I was there.

“I don’t care, I’m just... Curious,” I explained cautiously to make sure she doesn’t sob even more. I hated seeing people cry, it pissed me off.

“I’ve had nobody to talk about it to, Riya hated Joseph and is glad that he dumped me,” She said, as if I knew who that person was, “So I guess I can tell you.”

Before I knew it, I was sitting on her bed with her and she was ranting to me about her break up. Honestly, I was far too intrigued in her story. I even felt anger at some points, hearing about how that guy treated her. 

It simply reminded me that I would never get into a relationship, that stuff sounded overly complicated and stressful. 

She had a whole box of tissues beside her and she constantly wiped her tears away. How the fuck did someone cry so much? Is that even physically possible?

She finished telling me all about their relationship and I was left wanting to know more. She checked the time on her phone.

“Oh my gosh, it’s five in the morning!” She exclaimed, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to keep you up this late, I got carried away. It’s nice having someone to talk to,” She smiled sadly.

True, she had talked so much. But I didn’t mind it for some reason, she was an interesting person. She was genuinely innocent, there was no dirt on her. Hell, she was a virgin before she dated that prick.

We said goodbye to each other, not planning to see each other after this. 

But the meetings continued, every single night for a month. The first few weeks consisted of her telling me stories about him and how much she liked him. She was healing, it was apparent in her attitude when speaking of him.

One night, we were sitting in front of her TV eating popcorn and watching Criminal Minds. This was usual for us at this point, I considered her a friend. Being with her was like inhaling fresh air, she was so much different from me, it was fascinating to see life in a different perspective. 

There was a knock on her door and she quickly got up to open it, I turned around to check who was there. But by the way she froze, I knew immediately who it was. I made my way to her side instantly, pulling her behind me protectively. 

“Joseph,” I snarled at the man at the door. He looked offended by my appearance. He seemed hostile.

“Do I know you?” He asked and his breath reeked of alcohol, I would’ve gagged if I wasn’t used to it, the men at the sideshows smelled so bad. Don’t get me started on Salvador.

“No, but I know you. Get out of here,” I jerked my head for him to leave. I felt Ellie’s hand beside mine and linked our fingers together, feeling her trembling.

“What are you? Her new boyfriend?” Joseph scoffed and I felt my jaw clench with irritation.

“Yeah, now beat it,” I lied, not caring about what she would have to say. The skinny blonde boy’s mouth gaped open and he scowled. He must’ve felt that I was going to knock him out, because he furrowed his eyebrows and left without another word. I closed the door and turned to a shocked Ellie.

“It’s nothing,” She said, wide eyed. I really didn’t know what she was on about, I shrugged, realizing that our hands had separated. I made my way back to the couch, rewinding the episode. She sat beside me, she was distant this time.

“How was it? Seeing him after so long, I mean.”

“I’m just... Unsettled. I didn’t expect him to come here, I wasn’t ready,” She whispered and I heard her voice crack as she started crying.

As I’d mentioned before, watching people cry pissed me off. But I was angry for other reasons, I hated seeing how that bastard hurt her.

I never knew what to do, nobody had ever comforted me. So, I just settled for putting my hand on her knee and rubbing my thumb on it soothingly. Except, this time, she did something differently. She wrapped her arms around me.

I was stiff at first, my eyes widening as shock made its way through my body. I awkwardly hugged her back, this wasn’t something I was used to...But I liked it.

I relaxed slightly and buried my face in her neck, she smelled like strawberry shampoo. Her weeping slowed and she pulled away, I felt embarrassment flush through me. I never hugged people, I hated being touched, I wouldn’t even let my mom do it. Yet, Ellie Wheeler was nice to hold.

I noticed her mood was ruined by his sudden appearance and I came up with the perfect plan to make her stop being mopey. 

I took her phone and connected it to the cursed speaker she had next to her television. My fingerprint was already registered, since she thought it would be good for emergencies. I opened up Spotify and searched up something I never thought I would do, but I was desperate to see her stop crying.

“MY FRIENDS SAY I’M A FOOL TO THINK THAT YOU’RE THE ONE--”

“Colt,” She gasped, a smile coming onto her face, “Are you playing 2009 Justin Bieber?” I rolled my eyes and went up to her, putting her hand in mine and pulling her up on her feet. 

“What are we doing?” She asked as she examined my face, I wasn’t smiling.

“We’re blasting music at three in the morning,” I answered, accidentally grinning at her. Her mood had changed in an instant, she dragged me into the open space of her living room. Before I knew it, she was jumping up and down and singing at the top of her lungs.

“LOVE ME, LOVE ME, SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME!” 

She was lost in the music and I was just watching her admiringly.

“Come on,” She took my hand and before I could protest, she pouted. My mouth gaped open, in disbelief that she thought that would convince me to dance with her. I wish I wasn’t so easily controlled by her.

Everything else in my mind had disappeared, my hate for dancing had been thrown out the window. It was just us right now. The song ended way too soon an we were left laughing and out of breath from jumping up and down. The neighbors below us were probably pissed off, but we could care less.

She looked so beautiful, her usual braid was messy and her eyes were still red from crying over that asshole. But I couldn’t help myself, I was staring at her lips and she smiled as she noticed.

“Go for it,” She said as her cheeks turned pink, “You’re my boyfriend, after all.”

I rolled my eyes at her joke, but I didn’t lose the chance. I kissed her.

--

Tags: @mskaneko @desireepow-1986

#colt kaneko x mc #colt kaneko #colt x mc #colt x ellie #ride or die choices #ride or die #colt choices

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

Just An Ordinary Boy In An Ordinary World

I’m finally doing it. My first Midam (Michael/Adam fic). I’ve been obsessed with this idea for a while now and swore I would write it some day so here I am. Hope you all enjoy this. This is a small Midam ficlet inspired by the song Ordinary Day by Vanessa Carlton. I just think it’s the perfect Midam song.

Adam was perplexed to say the least. 

“What do you mean you’re not going, Michael? We’ve been trapped in here for so long, the door’s open for who knows how long and you just want to sit here? How many chances at a stroke of luck like this do you think we’re going to get?”

Adam feels Michael give out a sigh, “It’s as I said, Adam, there’s no point, there’s nothing for me out there anymore. If spending all this time in this box has taught me anything -- everything I believed in, everything I fought for, it was all a fool’s errand. It meant nothing, and if there’s nothing, then what’s the point of leaving. I don’t wish to go back to a world of empty missions and empty fights. I’m better off here.”

Adam rolls his eyes. He’s dealt with Michael sinking into this depression far too many times to count. Ordinarily he doesn’t mind talking it through with Michael, serving as Michael’s therapist, but now was not the time to be getting all mopey and questioning the meaning of life. The gate to the cage was open and it could close at anytime. Freedom was so close to him. As long as he has spent in here, and as respectable company as Michael may have been, Adam never lost his desire to some day escape this cage. “Don’t you want freedom? I know, I know, you have no concept of freedom because you weren’t given freewill and all that jazz but is that really the truth of the matter Michael? Or is it just an excuse you and all your angel buddies make up so you don’t have to face the consequences of your actions?”

“Adam-”

“No, I’m not finished yet. I’m not taking a jab at you or trying to make you feel bad, it’s not like you and your lack of free will would care what I have to think but how do you know you don’t have freewill? It’s not like it’s something you can touch. It’s based in making decisions. Just because you were so far caught up in being Daddy’s precious boy doesn’t change the fact that that was your decision to make so if you ask me, you’ve had plenty of free will.” Adam pauses and then before he knows it he finds himself also softly adding, “and besides, what about me? Am I nothing to you?” 

“You were never nothing, Adam. You were honestly the most interesting thing I found in this life. If you desire to, you can walk out of that cage, I’ll leave your body, I’ll even point you in the direction of the exit and you can leave and live out the rest of your life; you deserve it. Freedom, although you’ve tried to hide it from me, your kind heart has always tried spare me any vindictiveness towards our current lodgings, but I know you crave the freedom and as a parting gift to you, I want to give that to you.”

“Do you really mean that? If I walk out of this cage, you’ll leave my body and stay here?” As a test, Adam begins to walk to the threshold of the gate, and sure enough, he feels the particles wrapped around his own soul that can only be described as Michael, he feels them begin to shift, as if they were letting go. And just as Adam is about to step over the threshold, he turns back and moves back to the middle of the cage standing in what he hopes is indignantly so Michael can get the message. But it’s so difficult to make gestures like that when you’re sharing the same body, both beings have to be aware of body language and what it means and although Adam has been attempting to teach Michael the essence of human attitude, he’s not sure if Michael’s really grasped the concept centuries later. 

“And what makes you think I wanted you to leave?” And for once, Michael doesn’t say anything, not because he’s an angel of few words, but because he genuinely doesn’t know what to say. Adam continues, “Maybe I’ve been enjoying our extended vacation here in hell. Yes, I want freedom but I also want you to come with me. And you know what, I’m human, I’m selfish and I’m allowed to want things and that’s how it is. Freedom means jack if I know you’re still stuck here. You may not think you have the capacity to feel guilt but I know I feel guilt and I would feel bad about leaving you here.” And with that, to prove his point even further, “If you’re not going, I’m not going and that’s that.” 

“So is that how we’re going to play this, Adam? Just like the early days in here? We’re going to sit here and stare at each other hoping the other will relent? Can’t you see what I’m trying to give you?”

“And can’t you see what I’m trying to give YOU? You say your life was filled with things that ultimately meant nothing. This is another chance for you.” Adam remains indignant in his stance, determined to get Michael out of here, there will be none of taking no for an answer, Michael will not be passing GO, he will not be collecting $200. 

“What could a continued shared life with me possibly give you, Adam? I can’t imagine being chained to an arch angel is all that pleasant of an experience for you. Indeed, it’s caused you to be locked up in here with me for centuries.”

“It’s simple really.” Adam lightens his stance to take a softer tone. “You’re interesting and I want to spend time outside of this cage with you.”

To say Michael was shocked would not be too far of a stretch. This human thought he was interesting and wanted to stay tied to an arch-angel because of that? There are no conditions? Michael’s never had something like this before. Everyone always has conditions. His Father had conditions. But this kind boy he took advantage of, not him? “Alright, Human, you’ve explained what you’re going to get out of it, but what am I going to get out of it?”

Adam was practically jumping up and down in jubilee. He’s finally getting through to Michael and they both nnow may end up getting what they both really want. “What will you get out if it by staying with me? Hmm...you said your life as an arch angel was filled with empty meanings, this is your second chance, so maybe you should seek out to live differently than you did before. Haven’t you ever wondered about this world you swore to your father you would protect and watch over? Haven’t you ever wanted a chance to truly live in it? I can’t promise you Earth is extraordinary. At best, it’s ordinary but maybe that’s what makes it so interesting. That’s what you’ll get out of this deal. Extraordinary ordinary. What do you say?”

“Extraordinary ordinary? Is this another human concept I’m not familiar with? If it is, just as I have been in here, I look forward to learning about it with you, my friend.” 

And at that, they both lift their body up together and walk together out of the cage and before they know it, they’re breathing the air of Earth, the air of freedom. And after Adam takes that first gulp of air, “Alright, what’d’ya say we go get a burger?”

And at that, the two continue to walk the path towards encroaching freedom and Michael can’t help but to think that maybe he lucked out when he chose Adam instead of Dean. Back then, Adam was an easier target whilst still filling the qualifications needed in his vessel but he always feared that Adam may not be strong enough to hold him and had been waiting for the body to disintegrate into dust. But now, seeing how Adam’s soul is bathed in the light of Earth and this extraordinary ordinariness, he sees Adam shines more brightly than Dean Winchester ever could. Adam was an ordinary boy in an ordinary world but perhaps there’s magic to being ordinary. “I made the right choice.”

Well, there’s that. This is actually my first time writing something where both characters were sharing the same body so I apologize if I overused their names in the dialogue, it was difficult trying to make sure my audience would know who was speaking. Anyways, hope you all enjoyed this. 

#supernatural midam #midam #michaeladam #my writing

[brittle-bone-gabe]

Erase Me: Introduction

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven

Summary: Welcome to the never ending, never changing loop. The loop can’t break, it’s always been the same. Henry never realized he was trapped, but coming back to the animation studio for the “first time” just to see a small, human-like child makes Henry realize that dreams really do come to life. 

Read on other platforms: AO3, FFN, Wattpad

                                                 August 15th, 1963

Henry Stein was a man of not so many words, yet a man of the paper; while he wasn't great with speaking he could draw out exactly how he was feeling, getting his thoughts down on paper was one of his greatest strengths. That's one of the reasons his wife, Linda, loved him more than the world itself. He was a hardworking, talented man who could've went after whatever he wanted and be successful. In fact, Henry was considered to be a success as he and his former friend and business partner, Joey Drew, opened Joey Drew Animation Studios together, creating popular cartoons back in the day. Henry was co-founder and animator, creating the popular characters of the time, such as Bendy the Dancing Demon, Boris the Wolf, and Alice Angel. While he did have the time of his life working there, his only year there was enough to see that Joey's work ethics were becoming… questionable, to put it lightly. He had begun making erratic business choices, hiring more and more, making people stay for hours, even days, on end; one of the reasons Henry just had to leave, he was missing his wife Linda.

It's been thirty-years since Henry left Joey Drew Studios and moved with Linda to Pasadena, California. Did Henry regret leaving the studio? Sometimes. He surely did miss his coworkers, he missed Joey, he missed his creations, even though he was across the nation Henry never missed an episode of Bendy playing on the TV. Seeing the joy that he helped create on the silver screen, in fact, Henry heard that there were plans to expand on the merch of Bendy and his friends, but he wasn't sure exactly what it was. Besides the merch and plush toys, Henry thought they were making great money based on their popularity. Henry would be a liar if he said he didn't own a Bendy, Boris, and Alice Angel plush toy himself.

Honestly, Henry bought them hoping to pass them down to his children someday, unfortunately for the Stein's while they wanted children and tried multiple times, it turned out that Linda was infertile. For the longest time the news had put a strain on their marriage, as they both so badly wanted to have children someday, but it is what it is, and they did enjoy their company more than anything, so it wasn't an entire deal breaker for their marriage.

Henry had recently retired from being an animation manager at a low-tier animation company. They weren't anything fancy, certainly not trying to compete against Joey Drew Studios (not many companies were brave enough to do that), mainly this studio worked on animations for advertisement purposes. The company was laid back, the owner had more or less "normal" work ethics and didn't work their animators to the bone, perhaps that's why Henry was so drawn into staying for as long as he had. He had only worked five days a week, nine-to-five with great pay for an animation manager. As long as Linda was happy then Henry was happy with his job.

This Thursday felt like any other Thursday since Henry retired and lived the life as a man free from the chains of work, Henry had agreed to go out to the store while Linda stayed home and tidied up the house while he was away. It was an agreement they had in place, Henry does the shopping while Linda did the cleaning, it was a great deal on the fact that Henry hated cleaning and Linda hated going to the store. While Henry was out, he noticed a huge pile of Bendy the Dancing Demon plush toys with various characters that children were going absolutely wild for, begging their parents to buy them one. Henry couldn't help but smile, seeing the joy that his creation brought to children all over America was enough to satisfy him until he day he dies. The best part about these plush toys? They squeak. Something that other plush toys didn't do, although people did complain that the squeaks made their dogs tear up the toys. Whoops. A bit of an unthought of backfire on the designer's end, but oh well. Whatever sells, right?

Once Henry got back from the store he checked the mailbox, as that was normally his job to do anyways. Huh… nothing was in there. That was odd, the mail usually came around this time, unless Linda got the mail?

"I'm home," Henry called as he carried all six plastic bags in at once, not wanting to make another trip out to the car that was now parked in the garage. He wandered into the kitchen to set them down on the counters and floor so he could help put them away. Linda was already in the kitchen, a bright smile on her face, the smile that she gave Henry whenever she saw him. She stood up on her toes, giving him a peck on the lips. "Did you grab the mail, hun?"

"Well…" Linda started, turning around, picking an envelope, "the mail man was told to bring this directly to the house," she explained, handing it to him.

Henry took it from her, noticing the Joey Drew Studio stamp printed on the front, the envelope was addressed to Henry. Odd… He had no contact with Joey or the studio in thirty-years, what was going on? He took a seat at the table in the kitchen while Linda began to put away the cold groceries so they wouldn't get ruined. Henry gently opened the envelope with a letter open, not wanting to possibly damage whatever it was inside. Just digging his fingers around inside, whatever parchment this was written on was rather thick, so it must have been an official letter of some kind.

Pulling out, it was a small letter written in thick ink on a sepia colored paper with a little Joey Drews Studio logo printed on the bottom right hand corner. Henry instantly recognized the handwriting to be that of Joey Drew himself, even after thirty-years Henry could recognize that handwriting anywhere.

Dear Henry,

It seems like a lifetime since we worked on cartoons together. 30 years really slips away, doesn't it? If you're back in town, come visit the old workshop. There's something I need to show you.

Your best pal, Joey Drew

Henry flipped the paper over, making sure there wasn't anything printed on the back. There wasn't, so he flipped it back around to make sure he read that correctly. After all these years Joey wanted to open the studio back up? Last Henry heard was that the studio shut down, he didn't know the specifics, but he knew that it was locked up. As long as Joey didn't change the locks Henry could still get in considering he still had a key to unlock the front door of the studio.

Well, what could be so important that Henry had to go all the way across the country to see what Joey had at the studio? Surely if it was something important he could've sent him a longer letter? A flight from California to New York City was a rather long one. Henry could surely afford the trip, but would it be worth it? It must be if Joey's sending him a letter after thirty-years…

"Bad news?" Linda asked her husband by only judging the look on his face.

"What?" Henry asked as he looked up at Linda who had a small smile on her face. "Oh, no. No, not bad news. It's from Joey."

"Joey? Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he…" Henry trailed off, looking at the letter again, "he wants me to come back to the old studio. He said he has something to show me." He looked back up to see what Linda's expression was. She looked both worried yet interested on what it could possibly be.

"It must be something important if he's sending you a letter," she pointed out, throwing some plastic out in the garbage can. "Are you going to go?"

"What do you think?" Henry didn't want to just up and leave Linda to go across the country without asking her opinion on the matter. Her voice mattered just as much as his wants did.

"I think you should go," she said without missing a beat, which surprised Henry as last he recalled she hated the studio due to the fact that it took up all of his time, especially his time from home when he was gone for days at a time. "It's been thirty-years, besides, I think it would be good for you to see your old friend again, reminisce about the old times," she said with a smile.

"Only if you're okay with it," Henry said as he stood up from the chair, "one-hundred percent sure?"

Linda let out a small chuckle, wrapping her arms around Henry's neck, swaying a little bit. "I'm one-thousand percent sure, Henry. As long as you don't work for days on end again." That comment caused Henry to chuckle, pressing his forehead against hers. What did he do to deserve such an amazing wife?

-----

Henry paid for a plane ticket to head to New York that left Saturday morning, he had packed a small bag as he didn't plan on staying for too long, he had reassured Linda that he would be back in a couple of days. It was odd leaving his wife behind while he went back to the studio, it made him think of the old days when he left for work just to end up staying there for days on end working while the couple was left missing each other terribly. Henry was a family man, no doubt about that, he would put Linda before anything in his life, even a good job, as that's already been proven.

Once the five-hour plan landed in Brooklyn, New York, Henry took a cab to the closest hotel to the studio, so he didn't have to ride very far to get there. Plus, he wanted to do as little traveling as possible around here, Brooklyn was hard to get around as it was.

After checking into his room and getting settled with his stuff, Henry pulled out the old studio key that he had kept all these years. Just in case he would tell himself and Linda over and over as an excuse to not get rid of it. Maybe he actually wanted to keep it in case of emergencies, or maybe he wanted to keep one last souvenir of a company that he loved and helped build from the ground up. Henry would never admit it out loud, but he was eager to see how the studio looked after all these years, probably not in the best condition due to the fact it's been closed since 1959. Four years could put a lot of strain on an unused building.

Once Henry was ready to face his past, he grabbed a taxi and took a short drive down to the old brick building that once held his entire future. The building itself looked to be in fairly good shape, the only imperfection was the letters that once said Joey Drew Studios were missing, only leaving behind shadows and outlines of what used to be there. Henry thanked his taxi driver, giving him a tip before getting out. He stood outside the building for a moment, taking everything in, still not sure what he was expecting from all of this. What did Joey want? What was so important that he couldn't add more to the letter that he sent? It was so vague… What else could be in the studio that Henry didn't already know about? Time to stop thinking and time to investigate.

Henry took out the key he held on tight the entire drive over here, putting it in the lock of the door. Henry was half expecting the lock to reject the key, leaving him no way to get in, but a small burst of anxiety filled his chest once the key turned completely, causing the door handle to click. He pushed the door open with his fingertips, some dust escaped the old abandoned building, causing Henry to let out a small cough as he stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

"Alright, Joey. I'm here. Let's see if we can find what you wanted me to see."

#my fic #bendy #bendy and the ink machine #bendy and the dark revival #bendy and the ink machine fanfic #bendy and the ink machine fanfiction #batim #introduction #video game fanfic #henry stein #bendy the dancing devil #joey drew #Break the Cycle AU

[hall-of-merlin2]

Magic, Monsters and Merthur - 1x03 - (Magic)

Been a while, hasn’t it?

Alright so I totally forgot to post the two other parts for this episode. I just put so much into the Merthur part that I... kind of got sick? Blergh, that was awful.

Magic is way more fun! A little recap.

Two prophecies for the world, we got the bad timeline. Magic is a living Being that blessed humans, but humans didn’t like that it didn’t give them god-like powers over all of nature, so they made their own blessings purely out of spite and they fought something that shouldn’t even be fight-able, or even like... physical, and won.

What the Episodes taught us.

1x01 - Teleportation is a thing, but is apparently complicated. Veil spells - covering ones form with a look that deceives human eyes, but not the world. Dragons were so fancy they re-purposed Druidspeak to turn it into Dragonspeak - a similarly echo-y way of communication. Imagine snapping your fingers to a tune and doing magic at the same time. A dream scenario, but nothing to confirm such an amazing possibility. Merlin is resistant to sleep magic, or in other words, enchantment magic (Stuff that puts people under a spell, different from amulets that put people under a spell.). Amulets can be shattered - they can break under a certain amount of force applied and the spells they were keeping alive break at the same time. Quite a useful way to render a sorcerer harmless.

1x02 - Human lives are not higher than those of animals - I refuse to accept anything else, and I made up a whole theory of how the Cup of Life doesn’t take lives, just life-force, which every living being has, to continue my theory. Which means that any life is worth another’s life, even a flower’s, and making dead material into living things is a trend that just keeps going.

Let’s see what bullshit the afanc can do!

<_><_><_>

<_><_><_>

00:40

(Wow thanks subtitles…)

Anyway if you’ve heard it, then you know it’s similar to what Merlin used to revive stone. So it’s the same spell with little variations depending on what material you’re using.

Apparently, I WAS A GODDAMN FOOL FOR THINKING THAT.

I was going to somehow find the spell that Nimueh used here and then put it through a translator to see what it meant, but some very dedicated people on the wiki have already done that for me.

Yes, there is a Merlin Wiki, there’s a wiki for everything but I was just shocked how much information it held on everything…

And… The only difference is Nimueh calls the afanc “ancient” or “old” and Merlin just skips that and tells the stone to wake up already (as you do).

It WOULD have been fun if there was ONE spell that made DEAD material ALIVE, but it CHANGED based on what MATERIAL you USED.

But no. Clay is more ancient than stone. That’s all.

*Writes this down on “Reasons I’m adding to the magic”*

<_><_><_>

01:45

Those rocks look familiar.

Because of that… not even fact, I used to think that Nimueh was just hiding out in one of Camelot’s deepest caves, very far away so no one could find her. Dumb idea, but imagine how many creatures would reside in these caves if they really were that large? Unending magical creatures attacks from somewhere underneath Camelot and the knights having to storm some “stronghold” of the creatures – that’s a whole episode!

<_><_><_>

16:36

Yeah… I’m not gonna try to explain how the hell healing spells work. Mostly because… I’m not sure the sorcerers know themselves.

Are there magical herbs at all? Or are simple herbs given better healing qualities through the use of magic? Are the herbs there as a placebo and healing magic doesn’t need anything but the incantations that all other magic needs?

There is one type of healing magic that I CAN explain, but that’s… Oh boy that’s in another season, and only relevant there.

But does any of this matter, really? Should we just accept that spells are spells and leave it at that?

I wanna leave it at that. It’s way more fun just thinking of what ways those spells can be used.

(I know that the whole point of this part of the re-watch is to try and fill in the gaps that the show left, but... Spells and what they do have always been iffy for me. I don’t like them, I don’t even know why. I like “silent” spells, or magic that you can do without speaking, I actually have no good reason for why I like that more and hate spoken spells and spells with rituals and specific materials.

Oh wait I did say why I hate them... But who read that rant anyway?

Not me, apparently.)

<_><_><_>

33:25

Oh no this line spiraled yet another theory.

This is taken from my “Too many reasons to hate Kilgharrah”, a book that I’m not sure when I’ll release since paper is scarce.

(I also think that everything Kilgharrah does is to somehow manipulate Merlin and get him to trust him.)

(Oh and assuming innocent and meaning-nothing lines have actually incredible meaning and are definitely hiding something is… The basis of this whole theory, I’m only staying in-character.)

***

Kilgharrah already knew of the afanc before Merlin came to him. Yes, you could say that Merlin hadn’t come to him before, so his advice on how to defeat it isn’t just another attempt to get the warlock to rely on him, but how did Kilgharrah know? If the dungeon he’s trapped in is connected to the other dungeons and the one Nimueh is doing her thing in, and the chain is long enough for him to reach and see her, why didn’t he call Merlin the moment he found out? A creature of his knowledge knows what the afanc does and he knows Camelot is in grave danger, what was he waiting for? For someone important to Merlin to die? Was he just petty and thought that half of Camelot getting destroyed was funny? What if it would have deterred Merlin further from him, make him leave Camelot, did this lizard really not think of that? Did he want Nimueh’s plan to succeed? Does Kilgharrah feel any kind of attachment to Nimueh? She is of the Old Religion. Maybe he feels that they are kin and he doesn’t wish for her plan to fail.

And if this has nothing to do with Nimueh at all and he doesn’t even know she still exists, then what reason would he have to withhold information? If he felt the afanc moving through the water, why didn’t call to Merlin and warn him? No excuse.

But when Merlin comes by, he has no choice. He tells him how to beat the afanc, but says nothing about Nimueh. He probably knows that she’s smart and she will see what Merlin is capable of and… who knows what she’ll attempt next.

Kilgharrah is willing to bet she doesn’t want to kill Merlin.

(ALSO MERLIN COULD HAVE KILLED THE AFANC HIMSELF, BUT OF COURSE, LET’S TRY TO HAMMER HOME THE IDEA THAT HIM AND ARTHUR ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING TOGETHER EVEN MORE SO MERLIN COMES TO TERMS WITH THE IDEA THAT HE HAS TO BE A SERVANT ALL HIS LIFE.)

***

That bit about Nimueh being of the Old Religion and Kilgharrah sort of… being an accomplice of hers, it…

It made me think that the dragons and the Old Religion used to be connected.

And with how Kilgharrah manipulates Merlin and then how Nimueh is a slave to prophecies – that’s probably because the dragon told her of the prophecies.

I think that the dragons used to rule over the members of the Old Religion.

Why not, right> Dragons are powerful, they’re knowledgeable, why not turn a few puny humans to their side? It would help to know more things, and it would stroke their egos just a bit more.

I’ve literally no basis for this idea, but knowing that Dragonlords exist, it makes you think.

Why would dragons allow/need humans to speak to them? I honestly don’t think that Dragonlords are natural. Commanding dragons? Humans? What about eggs hatching? Why the fuck couldn’t an egg just… hatch like all other eggs do? How is a dragon’s soul equal to a human’s – the two don’t even have similar magic among them! Their bodies decay differently, their thinking is different, how can the two’s souls be considered brothers if the human part of the soul retains no memories of past reincarnations? It’s like it’s a new soul, and the thing that’s actually passed down after death (HOW COULD IT BE A SOUL THAT’S PASSED DOWN IF A PERSON WAS PERFECTLY FIND WITHOUT THIS QUESTIONABLE GIFT UP UNTIL THEIR FATHER DIED?) is just a type of magic. A very specific type of magic, that’s coded to only be passed down this way, and to work in the way that it’s described – a dragon’s soul is felt like that of a sibling’s.

I think… I think that Dragonlords were a thing created by the Old Religion sometime after dragons tried to rule over them. This caused the tables to turn, and suddenly the Old Religion had knowledge of the Draconic prophecies, which Nimueh actually seems to follow.

This is far-fetched, obviously. The two prophecy sets were far-fetched. But I’m nothing if not a stubborn believer in going big or going home.

And oh boy the documents of text for each episode each have like… 5k+ words. It doesn’t count the screencaps, otherwise, the character number would be in the hundred thousands.

I am not even halfway of going big.

<_><_><_>

35:25

So the afanc is a beast born of clay, needs considerable power to be conjured, and we all know Merlin has enough power to do that so the stone-resurrecting is not ooc. Exudes some sort of toxic waste from its body that drains the life force of everything that has any (which is everything, apart from non-organic stuff – includes glass, stone, rock that formed incredibly long ago and leather, etc.), but it takes a few days for it to finish what it starts in the first burst of draining. It is defeated by using fire and wind, the two of the four base elements the afanc isn’t made out of.

(We never heard of elements again though. There are some fire spells, but if this type of effective-against-one-weak-against-another thing is going on, then certain alchemy is conducted every time you cast these spells. Water extinguishes fire, fire eats up wind(oxygen), wind… erodes? Earth?, earth… Yeah no, it’s the other way around. Water extinguishes fire, fire scorches earth, earth… takes over wind? Doesn’t leave space for it to move? And air just carries water around so the little droplets get separated and can’t form something stronger. Yeah, that sounds better.

The other way around is empowering then, I guess. Or… making different elements? Wind picks up the earth, making it more impactful in the air current,  earth… turns into… lava… because of the heat? Fire… makes water vapor? And water… gets inbetween the air and also makes it more impactful? I don’t know… NOT ENOUGH INFO DAMMIT. AND THAT’S SAYING SOMETHING SINCE I’VE SPUN AN ENTIRE NEW UNIVERSE FROM LIKE 2 EPISODES OF THIS SHIT. THIS IS DISAPPOINTING LEVELS OF LOW INFO.)

<_><_><_>

The Merthur

The Monster

#magic monsters and merthur #(magic) #merlin #arthur #gwen #morgana #uther #nimueh #1x03 #mark of nimueh #how fun is this #reading rants #i bet its not too much fun #it seems that the further we go the more i can stretch everything #its good for me! #i like typing out stuff #but... i see that not many people like my ridiculous theories XD #ill get back to the merthur in a moment #maybe do episode 4 soon

[honeybee-babe]

How can you excuse all of the abusive things Luther has done to his siblings (especially Klaus) throughout the series? And don't pull the "he was drunk" card. And without implying that Luther locking up Vanya isn't intentionally cruel or intended to hurt her? He has the ability to think logically, unlike Vanya he isn't experiencing a literal psychotic break down.... Please, explain this to me logically. Thanks.

~ wowowowowowow i clenched my jaw all night thinking about this ask~~

Yikes. You’re not asking me why I “excuse his actions” (I don’t), you’re asking why I see him as a human being with flaws and trauma which need to be addressed rather than the literal devil. And why I don’t think he is irredeemable based on a few terrible choices (when he has also made some great ones and showed affection for his siblings in the past). I honestly think people hate Luther because it’s easier to have clearly good characters and clearly bad characters, even in a show that actively and artfully avoids that dichotomy.

Why do you care that I like Luther? I’m not bashing your faves or causing any harm to you? I am not trying to tell you to like him or convince you he is a great character. I know he has flaws. 

But if you really want to know how I “excuse all his actions” (which…. I don’t?), I’ll humor you, but I’m answering the question you’re really asking:

Why Do You Not Despise Luther?:

This response is really longwinded but THIS QUESTION IS REALLY OVER-SIMPLIFYING(!!!) so I feel it’s warranted.

First, I’m gonna address the “abusive things Luther has done to his siblings throughout the series:”

I am not excusing any of the things Luther “does to his siblings,” I’m just saying we should extend the same amount of courtesy to him in sympathizing with him and understanding the motive behind his actions (just like we all do with Vanya). And also consider the fact that he is deeply traumatized and has literally been gaslit his entire life into thinking he has to follow a specific model that was set out for him as “leader.” Literally he has been taught that he is nothing without the UA and being a leader, and I don’t think people release how damaging that is to a person?

But also hot take: I don’t think Luther is abusive towards his siblings at all? Not until the last two episodes for sure. I think he is insensitive towards others’ emotions at times, but he is never cruel just for the sake of being cruel. I honestly think Luther is incapable of picking up on emotional cues to some extent.

I’m re-watching right now, I just finished episode 7 and I have yet to see any signs of him being abusive towards the others, and not Klaus specifically? The choking scene was vile and physically violent but I don’t think it’s abusive because it was a one time thing and abuse is a cycle. Luther isn’t particularly awful to Klaus, he is just dismissive? The only person he ever is really verbally mean to is Diego when they get into fights and Diego is just as bad if not worse, and also intentionally tries to get an emotional rise out of Luther (which is…. just as awful and cruel?).

But yeah I finished episode 7 and no abuse so far… maybe my dumb ass who was abused for my whole life just doesn’t understand what abuse looks like? Okay that’s kind of a joke but I’m actually being serious, my abuse is pretty similar to Luther’s and my body dysmorphia/eating issues are similar to his too which is a lot of why I resonate with him, so I could be missing signs because I’ve probably acted the same way. So please point out to me where specifically he committed an act of abuse, and not a one time act of violence or simply being dismissive of/not picking up on someone’s emotional needs.

Also I honestly think Luther is just in denial of others’ emotional needs because he is in denial of his own emotional needs. He has been taught to push everything down, including the needs of others, with the only goal being completing the mission, and protecting everyone/leading everyone to safety. Also I mean, he hasn’t been around human beings for 4 years (so of course he struggles to relate to them/communicate healthily), and he was always taught not to engage with his siblings but just to lead them because that was his role.

Also Klaus and Diego (especially Diego) are just as dismissive of Luther’s trauma? And like yeah Luther covers it up but it’s pretty freaking obvious…pointing out how big he is specifically.

Diego literally sees Luther shirtless after the chandelier falls on him, sees how self-conscious he clearly is, and then never asks about it or checks on him (yet continues to joke about it – also Klaus makes fun of his muscles when he first sees him which is just insensitive). And in the first episode the way Klaus jokes around during the family meeting about cucumber sandwiches when Luther is trying to plan a memorial service; it’s obvious that Luther is grieving and paranoid (and also that he has been manipulated enough to love Reginald!!!) and Klaus is just making jokes and not addressing this? And then they both just ignore his obvious paranoia over Reginald’s death and just call him crazy and walk away? And don’t use the “he was high” excuse for Klaus being a prick (just like I can’t use the ‘he was drunk’ excuse for Luther, which I never did once btw, y’all just want more justification 2 hate on him).

Also: Yes, Luther tells Diego to stop talking shit about Reginald at the memorial service but like, from his perspective, that is someone bashing the person he was closest to AT HIS FUNERAL!!! He starts the fight with Diego but only after Diego provoked him, clearly intentionally, and Diego continues to fight him and throws a fucking knife at his arm (but physical violence is only not okay when Luther uses it right?).

Also HUGE THING Y'ALL ARE IGNORING: Klaus finds out Luther had nonconsensual sex while drugged out of his mind and congratulates him………. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk about you but I think Klaus has been around the block when it comes to drugs and sex (and consent) and should realize that someone on drugs for the first time losing their virginity is nonconsensual, or even if considered consensual still pretty icky? Like Luther is clearly ashamed and upset and doesn’t want to talk about it and Klaus just laughs abt it. That is so not cool.

And another thing:

Luther is very, very protective of Five which is so so sweet, yet people just completely overlook it because they only want to see the bad things he’s done. When he and Allison run into him in the hallway at the end of Run Boy Run and see him looking distressed Luther asks him in a soft voice, “Are you okay? Can we help?” and reaches out to touch Five’s face. Five grabs his hand to stop him but this was very sweet? Like it’s clear Luther has a soft spot for him because he’s small.

But Diego? After he finds out about Patch he bursts into his apartment and goes to attack Five; Luther has to pick him up to restrain him from beating up their brother who has the body of a 13 year old. All because he blames him for the death of the love of his life (just like Luther is afraid of Vanya after she killed Allison). But in Diego’s case, Patch is already dead; Diego only wants to hurt Five out of vengeance, not because he’s trying to protect Patch. And he doesn’t apologize or anything after????? It’s just never brought up again!

SO IN TERMS OF LUTHER BEING AWFUL TO KLAUS THE WHOLE SEASON: is he? is he really? is he really abusive? and is he really that much worse than his other siblings?

And now I’ll address this nonsense:

“And without implying that Luther locking up Vanya isn’t intentionally cruel or intended to hurt her? He has the ability to think logically, unlike Vanya he isn’t experiencing a literal psychotic break down…. Please, explain this to me logically. Thanks.“

…….sigh.

Luther is absolutely not being intentionally cruel or doing this to “punish” Vanya, he’s doing this because he’s freaking the fuck out and doesn’t have any idea what she might do. Yes it’s a bad idea but we need to keep in mind that he’s not thinking logically, he is emotionally distressed. Yes he could talk to her but Allison had just tried to do that…. and look where the fuck that got her?

Do you seriously believe Luther was mentally stable and thinking logically in this moment? Do you not realize he was literally going through a breakdown and identity crisis of his own?

He just found out maybe two days ago that his entire life was a lie and the person whose approval he sought the most didn’t give a shit about him, found out he was isolated from humanity for no reason (which….. as if being isolated in itself wasn’t traumatic enough), after he was mutilated against his will, and now he has just witnessed the person he loves most almost die and he couldn’t do anything about it. Luther is experiencing a breakdown and I think a big part of it is control: he realizes he’s had no agency his whole life/has never had control, he just lost control/agency over his body on drugs even more and had nonconsensual sex while intoxicated, and then after this he sees Allison dying and he can’t do anything to help her (he can’t even give his blood)!!!! His superstrength and locking up Vanya is the only thing he has control over, he feels it’s all he can do to prevent the apocalypse/protect everyone. 

Not only that but the idea of control as contol over powers: Luther has super strength, he has to be super careful and controlled all the time so he doesn’t accidentally hurt the people he loves… the thought of someone’s powers being out of control is probably the scariest thing in the world to him. And yes, he gets in fights with Diego but he doesnt use his full strength (just like Diego doesn’t either) because if they did then they would actually hurt each other, they have a lot of control over their powers. But Diego can control his powers by just… not throwing things and having temper tantrums. Luther doesn’t need to be angry to fuck up with his powers, we see that in the very first episode when he punches the model airplane. Luther can never escape his powers and has to constantly control them, and the idea of uncontrolled powers is his worst fucking nightmare.

So Vanya tells him, “we got in an argument and things got out of control” … like just imagine what must be racing through Luther’s mind when he hears that!

Yes what he does in this scene is awful but you can’t convince me he is doing it with the intention of hurting her. Literally you can see in his eyes as he is choking her how pained he is by this. And he apologizes to her: why would he apologize to her if he was trying to hurt her? And if that was intention… why wouldn’t he just fucking kill her?

I absolutely don’t agree with his decision here but like…. he absolutely is going through a mental breakdown and it doesn’t just stop during The Day that Was/Wasn’t and to act like he is completely stable and in his right mind when he locks Vanya up is just grossly oversimplifying everything! 

Y’all demonizes him over this but completely overlook some of the awful things his siblings have done (Diego going to beat up Five because he blames him for Patch’s death, Vanya killing a ton of random people because she was locked up)…. Like yes: Luther is insensitive, dismissive, and cruel in this scene but it is not his intention to be cruel, it’s obviously his intention to control Vanya’s out-of-control powers, protect his siblings (esp. Allison), and prevent her from causing the apocalypse. It is awful and yes it is cruel but to act like he just doesn’t give a shit about Vanya and/or is doing it just to hurt her is just….. so beyond what the show is portraying.

And I get that you guys really despise him for this, and if you’re going to hate him, fine: but you completely overlook the terrible things all the other siblings do throughout the whole series and write Luther off as evil, which is not cool. Seriously, y’all portray Luther as the literal devil just so that your faves seem like infallible angels and your headcanons and fanfictions seem nicer and more simple………. and honestly I just can’t reason with you. I think some people just hate on Luther and love everyone else because his abuse situation is more complex and they’re just… literally too lazy to do the mental math, so they stick with stanning everyone else whose trauma is more obvious? Even though Luther covering up his trauma (literally) and refusing to talk about/deal with it is a huge plot point in the show, y’all perceive this as him just not having any trauma, or just overook how his trauma affects his actions.

This show isn’t supposed to be “everyone in the family are wonderful, perfect victims and deals with their trauma like angels EXCEPT LUTHER HE IS STOOPID AND EVIL AND ALSO HIS TRAUMA ISN’T DEEP ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!”…… and if you think this then I think you need to do some soul searching? Or actually do some research into abuse and learn that it comes in many different forms and has many different effects?

Again: I don’t dislike any of the siblings. I used them as examples but I love Diego, Klaus and Vanya!!! I respect and understand them all and view them all as troubled souls who are trying.

This show is complex and it’s designed to be uncomfy, and if you simply write it off as having clear victims and villains (except Reginald, he a dick) then you are not respecting the writing or giving the show justice. 

Gerard Way says he wrote Luther based on his own experience of body dysmorphia, isolation….. the show designers say he has self-harmed before, and Tom Hopper has said Luther has been suicidal in the past…. but you know what, go on portraying his trauma as “having it easy” and using violence/cruelty just for fun, even though the show clearly portrays him as a broken man.

~

#umbrella academy #luther hargreeves #luther hargreeves defense squad #luther hargreeves protection squad #luther positivity #vanya hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #diego hargreeves

[dogbearinggifts]

“Dad Sent Me to the Moon” vs. “Because Dad Made Me”

How Luther and Vanya Talk About Trauma, Part Four

This is the fourth installment of my series examining how Luther and Vanya address their own trauma and respond to the trauma of others. My goal is to look at each significant mention of Luther’s time on the Moon/ his forcible mutation and Vanya’s exclusion, compare and contrast, and see how these instances line up with the common fandom perception of these characters. 

If this is the first time you’re seeing this series on your dash, I’d definitely recommend starting with previous installments. 

Part One  Part Two  Part Three

Episode 5: Number Five (aka The One That Made the Fandom Look at Klaus and Say “Somebody Give Him a Hug”)

Our first trauma mention of this episode comes when Luther and Five sit in Diego’s apartment. This mention is a little tricky, because, while Five does indeed mention the trauma of losing his siblings, the conversation is focused on how that future might be avoided, what Five has tried so far, and why it hasn’t worked. Nevertheless, I’m including it, because I feel it gives insight into how Luther handles the trauma of others. 

Luther: When’s it supposed to happen? This…apocalypse?  Five: Well, I can’t give you the exact hour, but from what I could gather, we have four days left.  Luther: Why didn’t you say something sooner?  Five: It wouldn’t have mattered.  Luther: Of course it would. We could’ve banded together and helped you try to stop this thing! Five: For the record, you already tried.  Luther: What do you mean?  Five: I found all of you. Your bodies.  Luther: We die?  Five: Horribly. You were together, trying to stop whoever it is that ends the world.  Luther: How do you know that?  Five hands Luther the glass eye he’s been carrying.  Five: This was clutched in your dead hand when I found you. You ripped it out of their head right before you went down.  Luther: Whose head?  Five: Like I said, I don’t know.  Luther: Well, there’s a serial number on the back. Think maybe you can track it— Five: That’s a dead end. It’s just another hunk of glass. 

This is not the first time Five has shared his trauma with another sibling. In the second episode, he explains to Vanya how he got stuck in the apocalypse, all the awful degrading things he did to try and survive, and why he couldn’t come back. Vanya invalidated his trauma—though as I pointed out then, I don’t think she did so intentionally or maliciously, and she apologized after. 

Here, we see Luther giving a very different reaction: unquestioning acceptance. He doesn’t ask Five to fill in any plot holes he saw; he doesn’t let on that he thinks the whole thing is unbelievable. I don’t point this out to bring Vanya down or show how awful she is, because I don’t think that’s what we’re seeing. Rather, we see that Luther is far more inclined to believe doomsday predictions, which was a prominent factor in why he didn’t question Reginald’s choice to send him to the Moon. He went because he thought the world needed him. Dad always said the apocalypse was coming, so of course he was needed on the Moon to watch for threats. Now that Five is back from the future with a tale of an apocalypse that, to him, already happened, Luther’s only question is “How do we stop this thing?” 

Now, it’s worth noting that finding a solution to Five’s problem—preventing the apocalypse—directly benefits Luther. If he can help Five prevent the apocalypse, then he will not die horribly. So Luther isn’t quite helping Five out of nothing more than the goodness of his heart. 

However, this exchange establishes an interesting reversal from how he handled Allison’s trauma. When she told him all the awful details of her divorce and how she might lose custody of her daughter, Luther simply listened, offered a bit of encouragement, and didn’t downplay her trauma at all. Here, with Five, he attempts to solve the problem. These are two very different situations, calling for two very different approaches, and it appears Luther is well aware of that. He also seems to be aware of the fact that his advice and input are not always needed or welcome, or appropriate for all situations. Here, there is a problem to be solved, and Luther attempts to solve it. Allison only needed a sympathetic ear, and that was what Luther offered. 

**********

Later, when Allison pays a visit to Vanya’s apartment, Leonard enters the conversation. 

Allison: Well, how well do you know him?  Vanya: Enough to get breakfast, if that’s what you’re asking.  Allison: It’s just that after yesterday, I don’t….I have a bad feeling.  Vanya: Allison, I haven’t seen you in twelve years, and all of a sudden you’re giving me dating advice?  Allison: I’m still your sister, and I’m concerned about you—and him.  Vanya: What are you concerned about?  Allison: Leonard seems perfectly charming, perfectly thoughtful—perfect, really. But I’ve been around long enough to know that when something seems to perfect, it’s usually anything but.  Vanya: Like a woman who’s based her whole life on rumors? Some people actually mean what they say. 

Now, you can make the argument that Vanya is unaware of just how deeply the divorce is affecting Allison. Her sister has, after all, remained somewhat tight-lipped about it around her siblings; the only one she openly shares all details with is Luther, and she does so in private. However, I’d argue that Vanya is well aware of just how devastating this divorce is for Allison. She’s heard the tension and trembling in her sister’s voice as she begs to speak to her daughter. She’s seen just how upset the refusal made her. 

In addition to that, Vanya has surely read the tabloids, or at least skimmed the covers at newsstands. We see in an earlier scene that these magazines are painting Patrick and Claire as the victims and Allison as the villain, if the title “We’re Doing Fine!” accompanied by a picture of father and daughter smiling with a smaller inset of Allison is any indication. If Vanya read any of these stories, she would have known the person behind the headlines. She would have been able to imagine her sister reacting to all of this press coverage, imagine what things were like behind the scenes. No, she and Allison weren’t the closest growing up—but Allison was her sister. Vanya might not have known her as well as siblings in healthy families know each other, but she knew her better than those tabloids do. Allison wasn’t just a character in some ongoing tabloid drama; Vanya would have known her as a person with hopes and dreams and struggles and everything else. 

And here she is, turning all of that trauma into a verbal jab meant to knock Allison off her feet so Vanya can continue doing what she likes without interference. 

Yes, Vanya is an adult; and yes, she is free to choose her partner without input from her family. She is free to tell Allison to keep her thoughts to herself. But Vanya could have said as much without bringing Allison’s painful divorce into it. Like so: 

“Allison, I’m fine. Leonard treats me well. If he starts acting creepy, I’ll come and ask you for advice, okay?”  “Look, Allison, I know you’ve had some bad experiences with guys in the past, but you’re famous. I’m not. I don’t see any reason why he’d want to get closer to me other than the fact he’s genuinely interested.”  “I’ve only known him a couple of days. There’s plenty of time for me to learn how imperfect he is.”  “C’mon, sis. This is the first guy I’ve met who makes me feel like a star. Give him a chance?” 

Point is, Vanya didn’t have to take Allison’s advice; but she didn’t have to bring up Allison’s painful divorce with a smile, either. 

*******

Shortly after, Allison takes her research on Leonard to Vanya’s apartment in another attempt to get Vanya to hear her concerns. 

Vanya: You are unbelievable! You’re trying to dig up dirt on a guy I like? Who does that?  Allison: Look, I’ve had my fair share of stalkers and creeps. I don’t trust him.  Vanya: You mean you don’t trust me.  Allison: What? No! That’s— Vanya: This is not about you. And for the first time, someone thinks I’m special. Allison: I’m just worried about you.  Vanya: Well, you’re not my mother. Worry about your own daughter.  Allison: That’s not fair. 

First off, Vanya’s frustration and anger are definitely understandable. I don’t necessarily agree with her*, but I can see where she’s coming from: She’s worked hard to build a life for herself, and she works hard to maintain it. This is the first guy she’s met who hasn’t treated her like a pale imitation of her more famous siblings, she’s happy, and she’s feeling the full depth of emotion for the first time since she was four. Whatever Allison has to say will hit her twice as hard, and since she’s not aware that her medication had been dampening her emotions, she probably has no idea that she’s going to be a little volatile. 

That said….I honestly have a hard time sympathizing with her in this scene. 

Once again, we see her bringing up Allison’s trauma; and once again, we see her using it as a means to try and get Allison to leave her alone. If Vanya displayed a thicker skin around her siblings, I could excuse this by saying that she just expects everyone to be as tough as she is; but that isn’t the case. In the first episode, we see how hard she takes Diego’s “You don’t belong here” remark. In this very scene, we see her taking well-intentioned (if intrusive) concern on Allison’s part as a personal insult (”You mean you don’t trust me”) twisting the narrative to make it seem Allison has self-centered motives (”This is not about you”) and finally reminding Allison of the ongoing custody battle as a means of shutting down a conversation she doesn’t like (”Worry about your own daughter”). 

There was no need whatsoever for Vanya to bring Claire into this. Had Vanya left it at “You’re not my mother,” that would have gotten the point across just as well. “Worry about your own daughter” was a cheap shot meant to give Vanya the upper hand, and it worked. Vanya wins this round, using the most underhanded tactic available to her. 

And again, I understand she’s upset. I understand she wants to be left alone, and I understand she’s dealing with strong emotions she’s never felt before. I understand that Leonard has been reminding her at every turn that her siblings didn’t treat her right while they were growing up. Her remark was still unnecessary because, as in the previous example, there are other ways Vanya could have gotten her point across. 

*******

Later, as Five and Luther wait for Hazel and Cha-Cha, Five brings up his time with the Commission. 

Five. You know, I never enjoyed it. Luther: What? Five: The killing. I was good at my work, and I took pride in it, but it never gave me pleasure. I think it was all those years alone. Solitude can do funny things to the mind.  Luther: Well, you were gone for such a long time. I only spent four years on the Moon, but that was more than enough. It’s the being alone that breaks you. 

I’ve seen some fans point to this scene (and others, but more on that later) as yet another example of how Luther’s constant whining about the Moon causes him to ignore his siblings’ trauma. Which is odd, because in this scene, Luther does almost the exact opposite of what these fans accuse him of. 

Yes, he does bring up the Moon without being explicitly prompted; and yes, he does respond to Five’s trauma with a comment about his own. However, he does not bring up the Moon apropos of nothing. When Five says “Solitude can do funny things to the mind,” it reminds Luther of how he spent four years with zero human contact in a sealed vacuum out on an airless hunk of rock careening through the void, so he contributes that to the conversation. 

More importantly, Luther’s mention of his time on the Moon is used not to invalidate Five, but to validate him. Pay attention to the wording here: “I only spent four years on the Moon, but that was more than enough.” He’s aware that Five spent upwards of 30 years wandering a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and he remembers how difficult those four years on the Moon were. With that line, Luther compares his four years on the Moon to Five’s 30-plus years as the last man on Earth and acknowledges that Five had it worse. Here, he seems to be admitting that he would not have been able to handle over three decades of pure solitude.

Furthermore, his next line, “It’s the being alone that breaks you,” is an attempt to commiserate with Five—similar to how Vanya commiserated with Leonard earlier. Luther isn’t saying, “dAd SenT mE 2 tH mOOn aNd i HaD iT woRSe sO ShUt UP”; he’s saying, “Yeah, man, I get it. I was alone with no way out and no idea why I was there, and I was only on the Moon for four years. I don’t know how you lasted as long as you did.” 

Another, smaller thing of note: This is the first time we see Luther addressing his time on the Moon as a negative experience. Up to this point, he has either spoken of it fairly positively or neutrally. This conversation with Five, where he compares those four years to Five’s time in the apocalypse, is the first instance where Luther hints that his time on the Moon was actually very difficult to cope with. “It’s the being alone that breaks you” paints a far, far less rosy picture of the Moon than, “In those moments, when my entire world turned to white glass, I felt like I was meant to be there.” 

**********

Running count of trauma mentions (cumulative of all episodes thus far)

Own Trauma: Vanya 4, Luther 4 Trauma of Others: Vanya 3, Luther 3 

*Let’s just say I was encouraged to get into and stay in a bad relationship. When I later broke it off, the same people who encouraged me to ignore my own misgivings told me that they’d suspected there was something wrong with my partner from the beginning. Gee, thanks. Couldn’t have used that advice before everything went sour. 

Read on to Part Five

#the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua #tua meta #luther hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #reginald hargreeves #number one #number two #number three #number four #number five #number six #number seven #leonard peabody #harold jenkins #trauma #how luther and vanya talk about trauma

[clairen45]

The Bridge Trope in Star Wars and what it may mean for IX

Besides being iconic markers in our daily lives, bridges are an awesome symbol:

transition and a boundary between sky and earth, life and death, real and imaginary, mortal and immortal,  good and evil, civilization and the wilderness,rich and poor, old and new

marking both a connection and a separation through time and space, between people, between places

Which is why, they are so easily used in stories as a decisive step in a hero’s journey, the Rubicon moment, the ultimate test, when through wit, trick, or strength, a bridgekeeper must be defeated. Let’s say it is a hero’s journey and fairy tale classic.

Add to that the fact that bridges are quite the war movie cliché, they are obvious landmarks to destroy, and vital targets to control. Destroying a bridge often means isolating and weakening the enemy, depriving it from communication and food, water, or medical supplies.

So, of course, we get to meet the bridge trope again and again in Star Wars. And, more often than not, the bridges we get are bridges of Death. From the Phantom Menace’s Duel of the Fates

To Han’s death in The Force Awakens.

It is actually fitting to say that both scenes constitute an interesting framing for the Skywalker saga. Duel of the Fates is a very apt name for the beginning of the saga. Remember that Anakin’s name is etymologically “Ananke”, that is to say Fate, Destiny. Anakin’s fate is in the balance there, and the end result of who gets to become his Master and teaching him about the Force is key. Had Qui Gon lived, possibly, there would not have been any Vader. As for, Han’s death in TFA, the constant play of words between sun and son, and the not so subtle imagery of light and darkness, is supposedly all about Kylo’s fate. If Qui Gon’s death is possibly the first step towards the fate that will turn sweet lovable Anakin munchkin into big bad Vader, Han’s death is the counterpart of this scene, thus the first step towards big bad Kylo turning eventually into lovable Ben Solo. And just as it took three movies to realize the Fate of Anakin, it will take three movies to realize the Fate of Ben Solo. But I digress. Or not.

Because both stories, which interact like mirror images of each other, are perfectly hinged around two other crucial bridge scenes. One in ESB. And one in ROTJ. You know what I’m talking about, right?

And these two are also counterparts. ESB’s bridge scene is Luke’s symbolic death scene: learning the truth about his father, and losing his hand, he would rather choose death and commit suicide. ROTJ’s bridge scene is Vader’s death and Anakin’s redemption, with Luke accepting the truth, Vader losing a hand, and choosing to save his son’s life. Even the placement of the actors emphasize this idea of mirror image. So Luke gets his Troll Bridge twice: he fails the test the first one, falling to the chasm and falling apart, and succeeds the second time around. Doing what? Throwing away his saber. Choosing love. Refusing to kill.

But I would also like to stress out that, from a certain point of view, Luke is not the only one who gets tested there on the Troll Bridge. Anakin, just like his son, also fails the first test and passes the second. In ESB, he has little to no love to offer and tempt Luke to his side: he offers the vague promises of the power of the dark side and ruling the galaxy together (which didn’t work with Padmé either). In effect, he is selfish, abusive, scarring his son physically and psychologically, and does not seem too distressed when Luke lets go and falls “presumably” to his death. In ROTJ, he chooses the losing side, standing against the Emperor to save his son’s life, which he knows, will eventually cost him his life. Thus, he is showing empathy and remorse, and saves Luke through a selfless act of love.

Yep, that is what the OT is about.

And, arguably, these two scenes constitute the very axis around which the other two trilogies are built. Hence my first “digression”.

It is also very interesting to note that in the four cases exemplified so far, the “bridges” in question are seemingly “reactor cores”, excuse my tech ignorance. These scenes are never about bridges out in the open, over a river, connecting two shores. They are always played out over a chasm, surrounded with energy fields, in dark environments with a possible fall into a bottomless abyss... Two possible interpretations:

because they are battle of the brains, moral battle of good versus evil within oneself. Inner battles. Think grey cells, cerebellum connections, as a map for these duels.

because they are battle of the heart. Issues of love. “core”

Honestly, I think they both go together!

Symbolically, they are your typical “choose the right path” bridges, the life and death, good vs evil bridges.

The many bridges of Luke

If you actually consider the OT, Luke’s journey is very much rhythmed by a series of bridges. Which might seem ironic for a boy coming from a desert planet with no water, and thus, no use or concept for bridges (besides rocky arch formation such as we see during the pod race in PM). But consider the last name GL decided to give him: SKYWALKER. That was not the orginial name he had chosen, right, since in first drafts Luke was called “Starkiller”. Consider then what a huge difference it makes when you move from a very martial moniker “Star/killer”, which is all about destroying life and light (and Luke actually comes from “light” etymologically speaking) to choose something that means: the one that walks the skies. Not flies. WALKS. And if you walk the skies, chances are you are walking on a bridge of some kind (like mythological rainbow bridges). Crossing a bridge is very much akin to walking the sky: you are suspended between heaven and earth. So even the name GL chose for his star family is all about “walking” on bridges.

The “bridge” moment in ANH is rather brief, but quite interesting. It is actually the “NO BRIDGE” moment, the one when Luke and the Princess find themselves locked out with no crossing, and stormtroopers shooting at them. This moment:

What does it reveal about Luke? His ingenuity, since he uses his farmboy utility belt to cross the bridge, but then also his instincts, the fact that he can rely on his roots (what he learned as a farmboy), his audacity, his ability to take a leap of faith (something that will play out later in his relationship with his father). But it also sets him apart as a different kind of hero. The NOT MY LUKE people should really pay attention to these details. Sure, he plays the hero, saves the damsel and everything, but in this scene they work together, she also gets to protect them, he trusts her with defending them, she is the one giving him a kiss for luck. This is very positive masculinity. Heroic, but not pushy. Manly, but respectful of women. Physical but also using his brain. Luke is such a dear.

In ESB, the big bridge moment is the one I already referred to. The moment of truth. Having these two characters on a bridge is very clever of course. It’s all about meeting in the middle. A bridge is by essence a balancing act. Can they meet halfway or will they cut all connections? Can opposites reconcile? Will they connect/reconnect? What better way to talk about human emotion and love than put them on a bridge, the very metaphor for communication, leap of faith, and the possible danger of reaching out to the other with your feelings?

But ROTJ goes even further with the bridge metaphor. Going with this when Luke reveals the truth to Leia...

To carry on with Leia and Han, where Han shows more of his emotions ans proves how supportive and selfless he can be when he is just there to comfort her in the end, putting away his jealousy and self-doubts:

Followed with this, for Luke and Vader’s first meeting since ESB when Luke calls him “father” for the first time and tries to bring him back:

To conclude with the bridge sequence already mentioned when Vader chooses to be Anakin all over again.

WOW.

And where does it all take Luke? To a water planet with NO bridges. Seriously. When VII opens, Luke has chosen to sever, metaphorically speaking, all the links to others. As if he had chosen to destroy every bridge that could connect him to Leia and the rest of the world. And when we see him going about the island, there are no bridges. He jumps from one cliff to the other. Interesting thing is on The Art of The Last Jedi you get to see some of the art concepts that they had for Ahch-To that included a lot of variation on bridges:

But eventually they went for the very design that removed any bridge from the place that Luke has chosen to spend the remaining days of his life until his death. Which is, I must say, a very good choice. He disconnected himself from the Force, he disconnected from people he loved not telling them where he hid, it made absolutely no sense to put him on a place that was covered with bridges. The bridges were meant to be burned.

That is... until one very last moment. Which is the perfect segway into my next chapter... Until the end. When he projects himself for one final face-off with his nephew. And that is a big bridge metaphor about reaching out across the stars. And we know that when Luke is on a bridge with someone he loves, this doesn’t mean harm or spite or revenge. Or even fighting. Bridges in SW are not so much about fancy duels as they are about love. Yep, even in PM. There is the love that Obi-Wan (yes, even a Jedi) feels for his master, and the need to extend and take care of a little boy that is all alone in this galaxy. A leap of faith. Love. Which means...

The ST is about crossing that bridge

Yes, there are bridges in the ST. And how Kylo and Rey are going to be able to cross over and meet each other. Let me explain. This happens at the end of VII:

Visually, it tells us that there seems to be no possible bridge between the two characters. Yet, the whole point is that they keep on looking towards each other. The bridge,aka the connection, is their eyes (mirrors of the soul yadiyada). And sure enough, comes VIII, and the bridge is there. WTF, will you say? What bridge are you raving about. Well... that one...

The Force bond.

And how do I presume calling this a bridge? Because...

It was I who bridged your minds

Interesting choice of words. But there it is. Put it as plainly and simply as you possibly can. The Force bond is a bridge, a spiritual bridge between Kylo and Rey. That’s quite something, right?

Which means that, there may be some physical crossing of some kind in IX. Now, I don’t want to be presumptuous and declare for sure, but it would seem like a logical concept. And on Vic Mahoney’s moodboard...on the left, some of the pictures seem very bridgelike...

And that’s also where I want to bring in that clever little TV kid show called Star Wars Rebels.

Take it to the Bridge

So Star Wars Rebels came before the release of TFA, in 2014, merely two years after Disney bought LF and therefore all the rights to Star Wars. Let’s look at what they did there and let’s wonder why. I don’t think that it was a random move on their part. They could, after all, have imagined something that took place right before TFA, or come up with the many adventures of Luke and the gang, or even spend more time on the Clone Wars, or go way back in the Old Republic. But no 14 years after ROTS, 5 years before ANH, is the time they chose. And came up with a totally new gang we had never heard of. Except that... well... the new gang got to meet A LOT of familiar faces. From all over the place: Hondo, Rex, Ahsoka, Vader, Leia, Mon Mothma, Bail Organa, Obi-Wan, Darth Maul, Yoda, Lando, C3P0 and R2, Palpatine, just to name a few... The point is that they get to meet people from the PT AND people from the OT. Thus (you know where this is going) bridging story lines. And, surprise surprise, what special name did they choose for their hero? Ezra Bridger. Gosh, that’s not even subtle, there. And by the way, what does Ezra mean? Helper. So Ezra helps bridging... aka, Star Wars Rebels helps bridging, connecting, if you will storylines. Towards a logical conclusion. And what is this conclusion, pray? The ST of course. And who stands on the bridge? Kylo and Rey.

Even better, what particular storyline did they preciously choose to keep to conclude this new Star Wars story:

the return of the Mortis Arc, balance

the World between worlds, and its very specific bridges that cross through time and space, and the possibility to alter the past/future, plus bringing back loved ones

looking for knowledge (last time I checked it was not so much about knowledge in the PT and OT). But Ezra’s story is all about knowledge.

love and sacrifice, saving the people you love (Ahsoka, Kanan, Ezra), and, come on, Hera and Kanan’s baby (by the way, Kanan is very reminiscent of Canaan, the Promised Land, so keep the prophetic aspect in mind)

Again, how will it play out in IX? I have some ideas but I really can’t tell whether it will show up or not. There have been rumors about an artifact (very SW Rebels) that would require both Kylo and Rey’s powers. So knowledge. So possibly with notions of Mortis implied in there (balance). Love, sacrifice, we have discussed a lot. Remain the bridges. I can totally envision an important scene taking place on a bridge, with Kylo and Rey embracing, or running to each other, or holding hands while everything else around them crumbles. I can also imagine a bridge playing out with an intimate scene as we got in ROTJ in the Ewok village, something akin to the terrace where Anakin and Padmé first kiss on Naboo and finally get married. Again, the film has already been shot. So too late for that already and there’s a fat chance that it won’t even happen. But since we got a bridge of death in VII with Han’s death, we need a bridge of light.

Which might just turn out to be the symbolic bridge of Rey and Kylo coming together and finally uniting the light and the dark sides...

Leaving Simon and Garfunkel’s Bridge Over Troubled Water behind as a great Reylo vibe. Seriously. Reylo vibe, guys!!!!

When you're weary, feeling small When tears are in your eyes, I'll dry them all I'm on your side, oh, when times get rough And friends just can't be found Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down

When you're down and out When you're on the street When evening falls so hard I will comfort you I'll take your part, oh, when darkness comes And pain is all around Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down

#reylo fandom #reylo fam #reylo meta #star wars meta #star wars fandom #star wars parallels #star wars symbolism #star wars episode ix #bridges in star wars #reylo playlist