#i am sad i missed the first 10 minutes of the movie in theatre

[honeypiehotchner]

My Deep Blue Love (Tom Hiddleston x Fem!Reader) -- Soulmate AU one shot

This was 100% born out of boredom and loneliness and those damn Soulmate AU POV Tiktoks that I have seen practically 24/7 for the past WEEK on my fyp

(I’m not sure if I’ll do a part 2, rn I have no plans for it)

quick note on the technicality of this one: you lose all ability to see colors when you turn 12 and you don’t regain the ability until you meet your soulmate. but! you have to meet them in person and it has to be a mutual eye contact. pictures/videos of them don’t work, and if you just saw the back of their head or something in person, that doesn’t work either. it’s all about the shared eye contact babeyyy

small disclaimer: Brie Larson is mentioned in here and she has a wife, but that is very much only in this fic, and as far as i know Brie doesn’t have a wife irl lol (i also don’t know if she’s spoken about her sexuality at all so what i’m saying is take it with a grain of salt ok)

Summary: Everyone around you is meeting their soulmate, but you still see in black and white. You’re ready to give up, and basically have, when you lock eyes with your soulmate.

Warnings: None! Just a bit of angst, lots of fluff toward the end 

You knock on your mom’s bedroom door at 4:58am. She’s already awake, sitting up in bed, ushering you over.

With tears in your eyes, you crawl onto her bed, snuggling close to her chest.

“I don’t want to lose my colors,” you whimper.

“I know, baby,” she whispers, kissing the top of your head. “It’s okay.”

You were born 12 years ago on this day at 5:08am, so in a few short minutes, when you officially turn 12 years old, all color will drain from your life.

Or the colors could stay, but that’s only if you’ve somehow already met your soulmate. And that’s rare, nearly impossible.

You squeeze your eyes shut at 5:07 and you don’t open them again until 5:10.

The colors are gone.

+++

twenty years later

You sigh heavily as you receive yet another wedding invite. You are invited to witness the official beginning of Olivia and Jeffrey’s lives together as husband and wife, soulmates for all of time.

The glitter sticks to your fingertips, tiny black dots against your skin. Your friend told you it’s gold. You barely remember what that looks like.

Lately it seems like everyone has been meeting their soulmate. Just yesterday, you were having coffee with a friend when she looked up at the girl sitting behind you, and boom.

“It’s like the world just exploded,” she had said. Colors were everywhere. She immediately left you to go talk to the girl.

You don’t blame her for that. If you had met your soulmate, you probably would’ve done the same thing. But you can’t say for sure because you don’t know.

You wouldn’t be so cynical of it all if your boyfriend of five years didn’t meet his soulmate while the two of you were out at dinner. You wish you could say that he was faking it. But it was clear from his face (and the girl’s) that he wasn’t kidding. It was real. He had met his soulmate, and it wasn’t you.

It’s never you.

You’ve had guys cut off dates before they even start, all because they didn’t see colors when they laid their eyes on you. They refuse to even be friends with you.

All anyone is doing anymore is searching for a soulmate and it’s exhausting when none of them are yours. When all of your friends see color now. When everyone assures you that it’ll happen soon. What does soon even mean?

You grab your ice cream from the freezer and fall onto the couch, flicking to whatever channel has late night shows that aren’t complete garbage.

As usual, you find yourself watching a talk show, and tonight Tom Hiddleston is one of the guests.

You’re sort of familiar with him from a few movies, but other than that, you hardly know anything about him.

“So, Tom, we’ve all been wondering what’s going on with you and Brie Larson?”

“Brie?” Tom asks, clearly shocked to hear this question. “We’re just good friends, that’s all.”

“Oh, she doesn’t make you see any colors?”

“Ah, no, actually, she does not,” Tom chuckles, but doesn’t sound sad at all, surprisingly. “Her wife does that for her, not me, I’m afraid.”

“Oh really?” The host brushes past the mention of Brie’s wife and keeps the focus on Tom, of course. “So is that true, you still don’t see color?”

Your ears perk up at the mention of someone else not seeing in color. It’s rare for anyone to talk about this on television. Most celebrities don’t talk about whether or not they’ve found their soulmate, but more often than not, those that have are quite loud about it.

“Yes, that’s true,” Tom answers. “I still see the world in a lovely black and white.”

You snort, harshly jabbing your spoon into your ice cream. Lovely. Yeah, right.

“Do you really think it’s nice? Do you not miss the colors?” The host asks.

“No, no, I do. I do,” Tom admits. “But I like to think I’ll see them when the time is right.”

You groan, going to Google to look up his age. And when you see he’s 40, you groan even louder. He’s older than you and he still hasn’t met his soulmate. That’s just depressing. How can he sound so optimistic?

“Alright, well, if there’s one thing you wish you could tell your soulmate, what would it be? Maybe they’re watching right now, you never know.”

Tom smiles wide. “Maybe, maybe, um… Oh, so many things,” Tom exhales deeply. “I guess I could be cliché and say I can’t wait to meet them and wait for me, but I think I want to say… I think I want to say I understand. It is frustrating, still seeing in black and white, but our paths will cross soon, I’m sure of it. Until then, my eyes are blue.”

Blue. Blue.

You roll your eyes. You don’t even remember what the color looks like.

+++

seven months later

“I am not going to a movie premiere. You’re insane!”

“Please!” Your friend, Catherine, cries. “You’ll love it, I swear.”

You glare at her over your coffee. “That just makes it sound like you have a trick up your sleeve.”

“I don’t,” she says. “I just want you to take advantage of this and come with us! When will you ever have the chance to go to a movie premiere again?”

She has a point. Dammit. “Touché. How did you get tickets, anyway? Please tell me you didn’t spend thousands for this.” You wouldn’t put it past her, even though you tell her not to every time before she does something like this.

“God, no, Joe surprised me with them earlier. He said he went to school with the lead.”

“Oh. Cool. Who?”

“Tom Hiddleston, I think. Have you heard of him? He’s British, but that’s about all I know. Joe just said they ran into each other the other day and reconnected.”

You stop halfway through a sip of coffee, careful to not choke on it. Slowly, you nod. “Yeah. I...I’ve seen him in a couple things.”

“Apparently, he hasn’t met his soulmate either…” Catherine trails away, raising her eyebrows at you.

You roll your eyes. “I heard,” you set your cup down. “He’s probably met them by now though since he blasted it on television like that.”

“Or he’s still searching and you’re still being too cynical.”

“You’re probably right,” you chuckle.

“Sooo, you’ll come?”

You sigh heavily. “As long as you help me pick something to wear.”

+++

“I’m regretting letting you talk me into this already,” you mutter when you nearly trip in your heels.

“Oh, hush,” Catherine swats your arm. “It’s an excuse to get dressed up and look hot for no reason. Take it.”

“Fine.”

Catherine’s soulmate, Joe, was whisked away almost as soon as the three of you stepped inside the venue by some director (you think), but he promised to return in a few minutes. Catherine told him not to worry. She’s used to him being dragged away for conversation. You can see from her face that she’s more proud of him than anything, and not at all annoyed.

Currently, you and Catherine are standing near the small bar, waiting for them to announce that it’s time to take your seats. You desperately want a drink, but part of you knows it would be a bad idea.

One glass of wine can’t hurt, though. Maybe it’ll take your mind off the pain in your feet.

You peel away from Catherine when you see Joe coming back, and you flag the bartender down quickly.

After ordering a glass of white wine, you wait patiently, wishing you had chosen a dress with sleeves. It’s fucking cold in here.

“Darling, you’re shivering, are you alright?”

Your head turns toward the smooth voice, face set and mind trying to decipher whether or not it was a sincere or creepy comment when the world quite literally explodes.

There, standing beside you, concern written all over his face, is Tom Hiddleston. Only now the concern has washed away into awe when your eyes lock with his.

“Oh my god,” he whispers, stumbling even though he’s standing in place.

“Blue,” you murmur. “Your eyes are blue.” Without even thinking or asking, your hand lifts to cup his cheek, and then you pull back, “Shit, sorry—”

But he grabs your wrist gently, placing your palm on his cheek. “It’s alright.” His thumb strokes the back of your hand. “I have been looking everywhere for you.”

“I thought you didn’t exist,” you whisper in reply. But here he is. His eyes are blue, his lips are pink, he has tiny brown freckles all over his rosy cheeks. You look back to his eyes, narrowing your own. “You liar. Your eyes have green in them, too.”

“Do they really?” Tom chuckles. “I never would’ve known.”

“That’s why you have me,” you tease, and you don’t know where any of this is coming from, yet it doesn’t feel like you’re pretending. It feels like you’re finally yourself.

His other hand tangles with yours as he nods. “That’s why I have you, indeed.”

At this time, the lights in the theatre begin lightly flashing, signaling that it’s time for everyone to begin making their way to their seats.

But neither you or Tom move one inch.

The only issue is people are beginning to stare.

You notice it first, so you slowly pull your hand from his cheek. This movement shocks him back to reality, too, and he blinks a few times, yet he doesn’t let go of your hand.

“I, um, I have to make a speech,” he says. “But then I can come back to you. Will you save me a seat?”

“Don’t you have to sit up front?”

He nods. “I do, but—”

“Then I’ll come with you.” You aren’t sure if it’s the fact that he hasn’t let go of your hand yet, or if it’s because you’ve been waiting so long that now you don’t want him to be further than an arms length away from you, but you mean what you say.

“Are you sure?” He asks, but you both need to make a decision quickly because you can see someone waving from the wings, most likely trying to get Tom’s attention.

“I’m sure.”

He doesn’t question it, in fact, he grins, and brings your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles. “Let’s go, then.”

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x fem!reader #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston x soulmate!reader #tom hiddleston soulmate au #soulmate au #tom hiddleston one shot #tom hiddleston fluff #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston fanfiction #completely self indulgent #as always

[imaginethoseguys]

Liquid Courage

Hi, I need to submit a seminar paper in 10 days so naturally I wrote this 3k+ fic for Itadori Yuji girl, bye

Pairing: Itadori Yuji x fem!S/O Word count: 3.3k Warnings: fluff, drinking, drunk confessions, slight angst, au motifs Summary: No matter the chosen activity, Yuji would be equally excited to simply spend time with her. He didn’t even need her to reciprocate his feelings. He felt comfortable in his lovable bubbly state, and she most likely loved him as a friend, so all was well. Trying to take things further would be a risky move anyway and he would not dare take his chances at the expense of making things worse between them because the last thing he would ever want is to make her upset or uncomfortable. He still remembered all her stories about friendships she inescapably lost after the “I need to tell you something” texts in the middle of the night from guys who she felt comfortable enough to be herself with.

Yup, no way that was happening. a/n: Itadori's in his 20s (as well as s/o)

gif credit

It wasn’t Yuji who offered to spend the Friday night at a bar. He didn’t enjoy drinking that much, and there was some weird old movie at the local theatre that they could watch and make fun of together. But it was an unusual occasion, they were on a week-long mission, dealing with curse activity in Osaka, and, well, it was  her  who asked, so of course he agreed. He never went against her suggestions, he trusted her fully, maybe even too much. Possibly, it was her way with words. Somehow, she knew exactly what to say in situations where Yuji often found himself at loss for words. She was reliable and reassuring and had a certain kind of warmness to her.

Or, possibly, it was Yuji’s six-years-long crush on her that had him blushing and hyperventilating at anything she did, so opinions were divided on this one.

No matter the chosen activity, Yuji would be equally excited to simply spend time with her. He didn’t even need her to reciprocate his feelings. He felt comfortable in his lovable bubbly state, and she most likely loved him as a friend, so all was well. Trying to take things further would be a risky move anyway and he would not dare take his chances at the expense of making things worse between them because the last thing he would ever want is to make her upset or uncomfortable. He still remembered all her stories about friendships she inescapably lost after the “I need to tell you something” texts in the middle of the night from guys with who she felt comfortable enough to be herself. Yup, no way that was happening.

“Oh, look, they have homemade plum wine!” her exclamation brought Yuji’s attention back to reality. “And it’s in pitchers too. Lucky!”

“You do remember you can’t hold your liquor, right?” he said, propping his face on his right hand while watching her mumble giddily “plum wine and soda, plum wine and soda.” She lowered the laminated menu sheet and leveled him with an annoyed gaze.

“I am a grown young woman who earns a living by exorcising curses, I’m pretty sure I can handle a glass or two,  Yuji .”

“Including that time when you threw up on Fushiguro mid-conversation?”

“That was graduation! And we did shots.”

“Yeah, it was also 7pm.”

“Enough of you, mister.” She threateningly pointed a finger at him and turned around to call the waiter. Receiving an acknowledging nod in return, she turned back. “Besides, if we’re talking about you, everyone is terrible at holding their liquor in comparison.”

“I’m just heavyweight.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“You’re just a beast machine who suppressed the King of Curses and can run 50 meters in 3 seconds,” she shook her head at her own description, “no wonder you’re Special Grade. Why do you bother drinking at all? Pretty sure it does nothing to you.”

“I don’t do it on my own. I like the company.” He said timidly.

“Aw, see? This is why I love you.”

Yuji’s eyes widened unintentionally, but she didn’t look at him long enough to see it, her attention swiftly taken away by an approaching waiter. He assured himself he was better at controlling his feelings, but it was all falling apart now, like a bunch of lies, because he could feel his entire face and ears pulsate from heat. He stared at the way her lips moved, making the order.

as a friend as a friend as a friend as a friend as a friend

“Yuji? Yuji!”

He snapped back, looking even more surprised.

“You wanted the Ginjo-Shu, right?”

His gaze lingered on her face, open and bright, with eyebrows slightly raised.

“Yeah.”

This is fine.

* * *

“Ah, see? This is exactly what I was talking about.”

Yuji furrowed his eyes helplessly and took the glass from her hand. She tried to down her drink in one motion but missed and spilled it over herself. Looking back now, he wasn’t sure if it was her being lightweight or her not stopping in time.

“When did that even happen,” he mumbled to himself, “she was fine a minute ago.”

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here,” she moaned in drunk annoyance, “because I  am  here.”

“So it seems,” Yuji smiled.

“And I may be many things, but there’s one thing that I am not, and it is deaf. Or stupid.”

“Yup, that’s two things though.”

She sighed loudly and leaned back on the wooden wall of their booth. They were surrounded by soft mixes of white noise: distant frying and sizzling from the kitchen, clinking of glasses, and giddy discussions of the upcoming weekend. They could almost feel like they belonged here, to the normal crowd of Osaka drinking their weekly stresses away, complaining about their bosses, bills, and personal dramas.

Is that what it’s like to be normal?  Both of them thought.

Yuji looked over at her and felt the heat returning to his cheeks. This drink spill felt too deliberate to be accidental. And her bra was very thin, and the bar’s AC was on and—

Yuji groaned and swiftly took his hoodie off, almost throwing it in her direction.

“Wear this, please.”

She didn’t really fight it and slowly put it over her head, beginning to crawl inside. She stopped somewhere in the middle and breathed in.

Ah, it smells so good. Smells like him.

She pressed the fabric into her face, taking in his scent. When did he manage to put on cologne? That’s just unfair.

“You okay in there? Are you stuck?” Yuji looked questionably at the wrinkly bundle that was now his hoodie with her somewhere inside.

“Listen, Yuji.”

“You’re just gonna talk to me like this, huh?”

“I’m sorry,” she murmured in a soft voice. “I know this isn’t how you would spend your night, but—I wanted to—you know. But in the end, I just—and—”

Suddenly, she felt a gentle tug, and her head popped out of the hoodie, revealing Yuji’s face lightened by a warm smile.

“I told you, I like the company.”

There was a needle prick somewhere around her heart, and she pressed her lips together, taken by a sudden wave of sadness.

“Let’s get back, yeah?”

* * *

Their hotel wasn’t far from the bar, but due to her condition, the walk back took longer than usual. Summer was ending, the air was still warm, but there was a tingling coldness with each wind blow,  a careful reminder of the approaching grey sky and smell of wet concrete, covered by tired leaves.

The path to the hotel entrance was hidden among the sleeping quarters, illuminated by floor lights, and framed by tall bamboo sticks. Yuji walked first and was right in front of the automatic sliding doors when he stopped and turned around to check on her. Instead of right behind him, he saw her at the beginning of the entrance path with her head down.

“Hm? Are you okay? Wait, are you sick?? Then stay right there, if you wanna throw up, do it—um—” he swiftly looked around. Seeing a gardening pot near one of the doors across the street, he pointed at it. “Here, maybe in this pot? Wait, no, this is a nice neighborhood, imagine waking up and finding vomit in your plants… ah, maybe in this bamboo? I’m not sure if it’s real though… ah, but this hotel allows hosting of jujutsu sorcerers because the owner is a friend of someone from the higher-ups, and if we vomit here—"

“Yuji.”

“Oh, maybe vomit in my t-shirt? And I’ll carry it to the nearest dumpster? No, that’s a horrible idea. Are you sure you can’t hold it until we get to our room? Then—”

“I’m not sick, Yuji!” she said loudly, maybe even too much so. “Although all this vomit talk is grossing me out.”

Yuji raised his eyebrows. “Then what’s wrong? Wait, did drinking uncover your hidden phobia of hotels? I read that somewhere…”

She smiled sadly. “You’re such an idiot.”

He bared his teeth, clearly offended. “Well, I’m sorry for trying to be helpful! Jeez, if you can’t walk – just say so, I’ll carry you to our room.”

“I don’t want to go to our room!” she yelled again. Yuji’s eyes widened in surprise, but he didn’t say anything.

“Because then we go to sleep, come back to Tokyo and—I—” She squeezed the hem of his hoodie, “and I’ll never get another chance.”

There’s a short silence after her outburst. Yuji glanced over her hands that were clenched in fists and looked to the side.

“I mean, it’s not like this is our only chance to visit Osaka, we can always book a vacation and come back here.”

“Huh? Who cares about Osaka? It's—”

“I’m not very smart,” he interrupted her quietly, “so you’ll need to be straight with me, otherwise I won’t understand what you mean.” Then, his voice got even quieter. “Or I’ll start imagining things that aren’t real.”

“Yuji, I—” she tried to speak fast, because she felt a betraying lump in her throat, “I never wanted to drag you into a bar. There was this old movie at the local theatre that we could have watched, but I—If I didn’t drink, I would have never gotten the strength to say the things that I’ve been meaning to say for a long-long time. And this trip felt like a perfect opportunity, and you’re right, I’m a lightweight and I overdid it, and I was so close to saying it, but I thought—I cherish you so, so much , Yuji, it hurts me to even think about it. I tried to tell you before, after graduation, but you distanced yourself from me that night, so I figured it was a bad idea. I still think it is, but I—Yuji, I—”

Yuji shortened the distance between them with a desperately fast sprint and grabbed her with both of his hands, squeezing her so tight that she could barely talk anymore, her face pressed into his chest. He was silent for a bit.

“I distanced myself from you during the graduation night because you looked so vulnerable. I thought you were doing things you would regret the next day, so I didn’t want to take advantage. Because when you’re like this with me, I,” his hands trembled, “It’s so hard for me not to be selfish.”

“Wait, Yuji,” she tried to move away from him, but no matter how hard she pushed, she would never win Yuji in a battle of strength. “Please, let me finish.”

“No,” he sounded uncharacteristically serious. He lowered his head and pressed his cheek to her forehead. “When you say that this is not the way I would spend my night… You can invite me to dumpster dive or read books about molecular physics in a public library, or lick poles in winter, and I’ll choose it over anything else. When I found out we would go on this mission together, I was so happy. I can be doing the grossest, most stupid, and pointless things, but if I’m with you – it would be the best way to spend all the time I have. I hate being alone, and it's all I ever felt for so many years of life. But when I met you—when I’m with you – I feel so warm. You make me forget about the bad stuff. When you’re next to me, I—I feel wanted. So please,” his hands weakened his grab on her frame, letting her lean back and catch a glimpse of his face. “Please, don’t give me false hopes.”

Their breaths were hot and shaky as they looked each other in the eyes, hypnotised by each other’s presence. She cautiously moved closer to him and cupped his cheeks. Yuji swallowed thickly, he had to stop himself, but her hand was soft and warm, and the number of times he dreamt about this exact moment didn’t let him move an inch of his body. She raised herself on her tiptoes and leaned to his lips. She smelled so sweet, and her body was so close to his that—

“Ghh, stop,” Yuji groaned and pressed his forehead to hers in agony.

“Why?” She asked breathlessly, “you don’t want this?”

“ No ! I mean, yes. God, I want this so much my head could explode, b-but,” he leaned back slightly, revealing his glowing red face, from the neck to the tips of his ears. “You’re drunk, and we’re tired and I,” he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “I want this to be right. If you wake up tomorrow and don’t remember any of this, I—”

“Stop talking,” she moaned and pulled him back by the fabric of his t-shirt, crushing her lips into his, arms then moving up to snake around his neck. Yuji had to resist. He had to, but when she touched him like this, the taste of plum on her lips, and when her—

“Mhm,” Yuji groaned hopelessly, feeling her tongue explore the insides of his mouth. It was hot and wet, and he felt like his heart could stop. Suddenly, he was so putty in her hands, he would do anything for her to keep touching and kissing him like this. No, for her to do anything she wanted with him. He would make a pact with a curse and sell his soul to stay like this a little longer, or to never feel the need to breathe again, so her lips can remain sealed with his forever. Still desperate for air, however, he forced himself to pull away, a shining string of saliva stretching between their lips.

She breathed in, preparing to talk. “I—”

“No, please, don’t say it.” He pressed their foreheads together again, breathing heavily. “Allow me to be selfish. I—I want you to say it tomorrow, in the morning. So that—”

“—It’s real?” she finished for him.

“Yeah,” he smiled bashfully, looking into her eyes. He could see himself in the glassy reflection of her eyes. They were bright and kind, and they looked at him the way he never thought would ever happen. He never thought he would be close enough to her to have the chance of examining just how deep and gentle they are.

Yuji moved a hair strand away from her face. “C’mon, I’ll carry you.”

He lifted her in one motion and pressed firmly to his chest. She could hear the rapid pounding in his chest, and it made her heart race after it. Pressing her ear closer, she could almost hear his thoughts. She didn't really need to hear them, she got the general idea from how uneven were his breaths and how his fingers trembled around her form.

While they waited for the elevator inside, she looked at him.

“Can I keep kissing you?”

His face heated up for a hundredth time this night, as he diverted his gaze nervously. She could feel his hands now squeezing her a little tighter.

“Y-yeah. I would like that.”

* * *

Yuji did not know that pain can bring such an amount of happiness with it. There were two single beds in their room, but they ended up sharing one of them together, which resulted in soreness and numbness in different parts of Yuji’s body. His back ached from arching it so that he didn't fall, and he couldn’t feel his right arm anymore because he went to bed while hugging her. Not that he was complaining though. He could go to sleep on hot coals for all he cared if that meant she would lie on top of him. Feeling her body next to his sent vibrations down his spine. Suddenly, he heard her groan, and his heart fastened its pace.

Nanami Kento was right when he said that getting old is manifested in small things. One of them was getting morning sickness and headaches from any amount of drinking, moderate or otherwise. She hid her face in both of her palms and turned to the side, trying to hide from the morning sun. Sliding the palms down to her chest, she was met with Yuji’s glowing but anxious face: his hair was a mess, and there was a big imprint on his right cheek from the pillow wrinkles. She smiled softly, reaching out to fix one of his hair strands.

“Hi,” she rasped.

“Hi,” he responded, sounding relieved.

“Remind me to never drink again,” she said, turning on her back tiredly. “I lose years of my life from each hangover.”

“I mean, it’s exactly what I’m doing each time, but the strategy doesn’t seem to be working.” He chuckled, slowly getting up from the bed. “I’ll bring you an aspirin.”

Her eyes traced his features radiating in the morning sun as he made his way to the coffee table across the room. He had plenty of scars across his back and more on the chest. None of Jujutsu High students got anything close to normal school life, but Yuji certainly took the cake. And to remain so gratuitously giving and caring all while dealing with so much burden and pressure—her heart sank from just the thought.

She sat up as Yuji sat in front of her on the side of the bed, giving her a glass of fizzling water. She smiled in gratification and brought it to her lips.

“By the way, can you tell me what we ended up doing yesterday? I don’t remember shit,” she said nonchalantly before starting to gulp down the medicine.

The look on Yuji’s face filled with terror and chagrin; he felt his fingertips grow colder as he grasped the bedsheets beneath his hands. He lowered his gaze in silence, feeling the heartbeat pounding in his ears.

Meanwhile, she downed the glass and put it on her nightstand. Looking back at him, she lifted the corners of her lips.

“Kidding.”

He let out a questioning yell and grabbed a pillow, aiming a blow. “You’re so mean! Never  ever  do that shit again!”

He threw the pillow into her face, and she laughed, grabbing his hand, and pulling him on top of her. Yuji positioned his hands on both sides of her head and felt the familiar heat run up his neck to his cheeks, nose, and ears.

“Sorry,” she whispered softly.

“I’ll think about it.”

She lifted her hands and palmed his face, looking deep into his amber eyes. Yuji swallowed thickly, both of his palms twitching uncontrollably.

“Yuji.”

“Y-yeah?”

“I love you.”

The warmness from her hands went deep beyond his face. He felt her arms reach out gently into his chest and cradle his heart, calming its frantic heartbeat and holding it with such care that it sent lumps to his throat. He fought back the quivering of his lips as her thumb stroked across the scar right beneath his eye.

“I love you so  so much,” she murmured fondly, squinting from her growing smile. Yuji lowered his body closer to hers and hid his face in the crook of her neck, hugging her from behind.

“If you don’t stop, I might die.”

“Why?”

“I shouldn’t… feel this happy.”

She closed her eyes contently and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing a slow kiss to his temple. “Well, that’s not for you to decide, dumbass.”

She played with his messy hairs, breathing in his scent.

“But if you don’t reciprocate, I might die as well.”

Yuji rose sharply on his hands and leaned forward, crushing his lips into hers for a quick second.

“I love you,” he said loudly after breaking the kiss. Then he leaned in and kissed her again.

“I love you. I love you I love you I love you,” he kept repeating after kissing her over and over again. “I lov—” She interrupted him mid-sentence and took initiative, thrusting into his lips and parting them with a twirl of her tongue. He moaned and gave in, moving his head to the side.

Please, don’t leave me

I’m with you until the world collapses

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader #itadori yuji #itadori yuji x reader

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | Chapter fourteen

Chapter fourteen

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: talks of spencers major anxiety, parental death tw (not Diana or bob and Linda), trauma talks, computer hacking and new members joining the family...

word count: 4k

from the beginning <3

Taylors biggest surprise that weekend was what she had planned for Amoreena that night.

She set up a fort in the theatre room, they had every snack imaginable and any movie of her choice to watch. Karaoke in the corner, popcorn being popped in a theatre-style machine, and 3 different, matching child and adult, princess dresses for them to choose from.

It was all an elaborate plan to keep her preoccupied until bedtime, which Taylor offered to handle so that her parents could have a little wedding night date alone.

They’re all ready for a wonderful night when Spencer’s phone started ringing.

“Hello?” Spencer answers, sneaking away from the girls so he could hear better.

“Spencer, I am so sorry to interrupt you this late, but we have a situation… it’s not something that should be discussed over the phone. Do you have someone to watch Amoreena while you and Y/N come into the bureau? As soon as you can?”

His stomach drops, he feels instantly sick. “Not until you tell me who’s dead, who’s dying or who’s trying to kill us.”

“No one is, Spencer, it’s not a case or criminal related, it’s… personal, someone is here to see you,” she sounds serious and Spencer is still just as worried.

“I’ll tell the girls,” he responds before hanging up.

Y/N is standing right behind him, listening with wide eyes as she waits to soothe his panic. They worked like a well-oiled machine, she could physically feel his anxiety and in return, something about her just being there made him physically feel better.

“What’s wrong?” Taylor asks as she appears behind Y/N, Amoreena now off changing into one of the dresses she picked.

“They won't tell me on the phone but they need me and Y/N back at Quantico as soon as possible,” Spencer explained with a pale face, “we can go in the morning.”

“I’m fine watching Amoreena for the night, there’s a hanger down the road with a few of my dad’s planes, I can have someone take you to Virginia within the next hour? It's only 7 pm, I’m sure you can be back before bedtime?” Taylor offered her services for the 100th time that day, “It’s not a problem, really, and they wouldn’t call if it wasn’t serious, they’re the FBI after all.”

With that, they said goodbye to Amoreena and told her they’d be back before she woke up in the morning. If not, she had Y/N’s cellphone for the night to call them before she goes to sleep and when she wakes up, so she won't bother Taylor that early. (Even though Taylor said she wouldn’t mind early morning Amoreena cuddles.)

He was anxious on the drive to the small airport, the old man named Norman, chartering them that night was incredibly kind, they were granted lading access in Quantico and before he could prepare, they were up in the air. He chatted up a storm with Y/N on the headset radio as Spencer overthought the upcoming chat with JJ and stared out at the world below them.

On queue, he jumped from anxious to scared when they land, before getting in the shuttle from the airstrip to the front entrance, but he’s so incredibly terrified when it comes time to actually start the walk to the bullpen.

“Will you come in with me?” His small voice asks as she is pinning a visitors tag on her shirt.

“Of course,” she smiled, taking his hand as they walked into the elevator together.

He grips her hand tighter as the elevator stops, dipping and returning to the right height and making his stomach drop the same way a rollercoaster would. He hated that feeling more than anything, having it alongside the anxiety wasn’t helpful.

He can see JJ and another girl sitting together at his old desk. She’s smiling at whatever JJ says, she looks exactly like Amoreena just with box-dyed black hair that shines purple under the lighting. She’s in all black, she pushes her glasses up her nose with her sweater hiding her hands, Spencer knows she’s a foster kid from just her posture.

“JJ,” Spencer makes their presence clear and the little girl turns to him with a huge smile, running to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. “Hi?”

She’s sobbing ten and he doesn’t know why or even who she is, he lightly holds her with complete shock on his face. He stares at JJ with wide eyes and a gaping mouth as he communicates the confusion and terror with his eyes.

“This is Josephine Elliot, or Jo as she likes to be called, her parents passed away a few months ago and she recently found out her biological father was actually a sperm donor and not her moms husband,” JJ explains a little before sighing and sitting on the edge of the desk.

“She hacked into the sperm bank and found your name, and google led her to the FBI and they stopped her at the second gate, the first only let her in thinking she was your other daughter, Amoreena.”

“I’m so sorry,” the poor girl wipes her tears with her sweater sleeves, “I don’t know why I hugged you when you don’t even know me, ew sorry.”

Spencer pulls her back into a hug, “it’s okay, you don’t have to worry about wanting a hug ever again. You can have whatever you need from me.”

She cries more, holding on to his shirt as he holds her, shushing her softly and rubbing his hand over her back. It’s weird how safe she seems this early in their acquaintance with one another, but he understands it. She’s so desperate for someone related to her to love her again, to replace what she was missing from her parents, that she’s already accepted him as a father without thinking it through. Without even know what he would be like to her.

When she finally calmed down enough, Spencer led her towards the briefing room so they could have a moment alone to talk. He wanted to know her, and she needed to know him before she made another big decision. He let her know who he was, what he used to do and the rundown on his relationship with Y/N and Amoreena.

“So you met her at the park and got married a week later because you both have dead exes and somehow through fate, you made a kid together?” She summed it up in a way that made it sound ridiculous.

“Mutual trauma is a great bonding tool, I’m sure you probably listen to rock music or anything sad and angry because you know someone feels the exact same way you do? I was like that when I was a teenager. We've both lost someone we loved and then made Amoreena out of pure luck,” he combated her snarky summary with his own profile of her.

“I actually like Taylor Swift, Paramore, Evanescence and Olivia Rodrigo when I need to scream about being sad, thank you very much,” she teased him, finding a very easy rhythm as they got to know one another.

“You’re going to lose your mind when you find out who’s with Amoreena right now,” Spencer smiles, somehow everything just fits together.

“What?” She looks so confused, scrunching her face the same way he did to push her glasses up without her hands.

“It’s a long story, but essentially we were at Taylor Swift’s house when JJ called, she’s watching Amoreena still,” Spencer explained, watching her jaw drop.

“Who the fuck are you, dude?” She whispered, and it took Spencer by surprise. “Sorry, I’m so used to swearing in front of adults lately to get my point across. But seriously, you’re so interesting…”

“Understandable,” Spencer laughs lightly at her strange compliment. “I have a lot of connections, and I’ll do anything to see the people I love, smile, that includes you now.”

“You barely know me and you’re just ready to accept that I’m your kid? Didn’t this just happen to you last week?” She laughs at the insanity of it all, “you’re going to have a million kids at this rate, dude.”

Again, she calls him dude and he knows she’s just trying to distance her emotions as they grow fonder and fonder. A coping mechanism so that she doesn’t get hurt anymore, she’s lost too much and she’s not going to love him just to lose him too.

“My dad ran out on me when I was a kid, I basically raised myself when my mom’s schizophrenia got bad, I know what it’s like to feel alone even when you’re with people who are supposed to love you,” he makes sure she knows who he is inside.

“I’m sorry,” she reaches a hand out for him, holding it softly. “I never really liked my dad growing up, he always felt off… I can’t explain it, but he was never the same guy twice he was either angry, miserable or scarily happy," she explains him and all Spencer can think is how he sounds like an unsub.

"I do miss my mom a lot, I didn’t know what else to do when I found out they couldn’t have babies together and she went to a Sperm bank without telling him. I know the names of your other kids too, besides Amoreena, I’m really surprised you found her mom without hacking the system too but, yeah, Dylan is 6 and Alice is 10, they’re both in DC with the same 2 mom’s, so if you didn’t want me, I was going to see if they would cause I’m technically their stepdaughter in a weird way and if I spent one more day in that foster home I would have ended it all,” it's a Reid rant, she's his for sure.

It takes him a minute to absorb it all, “wait, Amoreena is mine for sure?”

She nods like it’s a stupid question, “could you not tell my just looking at her? The 3 of us have the same face.”

“No, they wouldn’t tell us at the clinic,” Spencer is still in shock but more so that she got into the database so easily, “how did you do it?”

“It was easy, I had all the information about the sample my mom used so I just encrypted an email to the secretary of the sperm bank so as soon as she clicked the link to read more I’d have access to her computer, they didn’t even know I was in the system, they probably still don’t know I was there,” she explains it exactly how Penelope would.

“I don’t want you to think I’d ever not want you,” Spencer holds her hand a little tighter, “I’m not sure what the process will be like trying to get the foster agency to agree to me taking you home with us, but I’ll see what I can do. We have a big house and enough room for you in our hearts if this is where you’d like to be. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, you might hate the farm life and the isolation and all the cousins you now have, but you’re a piece of me and I’m not letting you go.”

She uses her free hand to wipe her tears on her sleeve again, “please, I know it’s not going to be the same but I miss having a family so much.”

He wraps her up in his arms, he knows the feeling all too well. One day his mom was there, the next day she was gone and no one prepared him for that. She never had to do this alone, Spencer wasn’t going to let that happen to her.

“Y/N is wonderful, you’ll love her and Amoreena. We live on a huge farm and there’s a lot to do during the day and people to spend time with, believe me, you’re going to feel so surrounded by the love you won’t know what to do with it all,” he shares from personal experience.

“Okay,” she hugged him tighter, pressing her face into his neck as he talked more, feeling the vibrations of his voice on her forehead to know that he was real. That his words were true and she was going to be taken care of.

“Is there anything about yourself that you’d like me to know? Or any questions you have? I’m sure this is going to be an interesting adjustment,” Spencer asked as he pulled away, looking down into her sweet eyes and seeing the hope she was still hanging on to.

“Is Y/N even okay with all of this? It’s her house isn’t it?”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine with it, she knew I had you and the other 2 out there somewhere, we just never expected to meet you so soon,” he’s as honest as possible, talking to her the same way he would with Henry, she seemed even more mature than him.

“Can she come in here too? I’d like to get to know her as well, see if she’s really as lovely as you say she is,” she smiled, coping with her trauma the same way he and Y/N did, with humour.

Almost like Y/N could feel him thinking about her, she knocked on the door before opening it a crack, “sorry, I have some updates,” she smiled.

Josephine smiled at her, “come in.”

Y/N sat down close to her and placed her hand on her shoulder, “my sister is a foster parent, she called her caseworker and they were able to rush the emergency next of kin paperwork, you can stay with us for as long as you would like to.”

“You’re serious? You barely know me?” She kept repeating that as if she convinced herself earlier in the day that they wouldn’t want to know her.

Y/N wrapped her up in a soft hug and Spencer saw all the tension leave Josephines body as she settled against her. It had been a long time since a mother held her, she didn’t realize how much she needed it until she was in her arms.

“You’re half Spencer, so by default you have a portion of my heart now too. I’m not going to love you as an obligation or because I feel like I have to, I love you because you’re part of him and our family,” she whispers into her hair, “I know what it’s like to be alone, you never have to be... unless we’re smothering you then I get it, but you know what I mean.”

She laughed in Y/N’s arms before pulling back. Y/N held her face in her hands and looked at her gently. She ran her fingers through her dyed hair, “you’re going to fit right in with the 4 of us.”

“Four?” She repeats, wondering who else they lived with.

“I’m pregnant,” Y/N smiles as Josephine lights up.

“I’ve always wanted to be a big sister,” she cried a little, “my mom named me after Jo from Little Women, she said she always planned to give me lots of sisters.”

“If this one is a girl she’ll be Eleonora like—“

“Like the poem, Edgar Allan Poe is one of my favourites,” Jo smiled again.

Somehow, without even being there, Amoreena’s mess of glitter glue was able to patch her older sister's broken heart right then and there too.

“I read really fast, my mom said she was going to go bankrupt buying books for me,” she opened up more and more, the hurt of the memories fading as she remembered them with happiness instead of mourning.

Her mom was gone, but the love of a mother filled her space once more. Y/N took her under her wing, keeping her warm and making sure he grew to be as happy healthy and wonderful as all her other babies.

—

They arrive at Taylor's door once again at 11:30. Amoreena is sound asleep in the spare room, not even able to change out of her princess costume or phone them to say goodnight. Taylor said she had a sugar crash and just asked to go to sleep, reminding Taylor that she had the best day ever before closing her tired little eyes.

Jo was very anxious to meet Taylor too, telling her a similar story to Y/N’s from just a few hours prior. Taylor made sure she was comfortable for the night in another spare room, making her a hot chocolate and some snacks from earlier that day at lunch. She was the best host, a wonderful friend and an even better honorary godparent to these girls of Spencer’s.

“Can I have a hug?” She sheepishly asks before she has to turn down the hall to her bedroom for the night.

Spencer answers by wrapping his arms around her and holding her close to his chest once more, he wasn’t sure how his heart could hold so much love for these girls, and still have room left to make more one day. It was a dream come true to have a family this big, no one was going to believe that he gained 3 kids and a wife in under a month.

He kissed her on the forehead gently, seeing her smile at the contact let him know it was fine. “Goodnight dad,” she whispers, pressing her lips together awkwardly the same way he did before turning down the hall and disappearing into her room.

She had only a backpack of things currently, not expecting everything to go as smoothly as it did. She had enough clothes to sleep in, and Taylor happily provided some old tour perch to her just in case she needed something new to wear. Something to help her ease to sleep that didn’t feel like she was going back to her old life in the morning.

Amoreena was going to have a field day tomorrow when she met her big sister, the beautiful girl who was busy covering her scars with bandaids provided by Spencer, but it would take a lot of time, effort and care to make her feel truly healed again. It was going to be interesting seeing Amoreena adjust to sharing him so early, especially since he knew Jo would need so much more attention to ease her anxiety moving forward.

Spencer sat on the guest bed beside Y/N, noticing all the rose petals and candles on the dresser and night tables, “oh she really had a lot planned for us.”

“She’s the fairy godmother of our dreams,” Y/N agreed with a laugh. “I don’t mind staying up late tonight if you don’t mind leaving on Monday instead?”

“I was going on suggest the same thing,” he smiled at her, leaning in to press their lips together gently for the first time since the wedding that afternoon.

“let's get into our comfy’s and go for a walk on the beach, Taylor left me the keys to lock up when we come back,” she whispered the words against his lips before smiling.

“Can I call Derek before we go? I really need to talk to him,” he’s honest with her as he pulls away, feeling really anxious and shook up at the events of the day. He needed his best friend.

“Yeah, I’ll go check out the rest of the guest house, come find me when you’re done?” She says softly, getting off the bed with a smile and stepping out of the room with a small wave.

He takes his phone out and dials the number, waiting with the phone pressed against his ear as it rings. Again and again, every new hum in his ear making his heart beat faster, “hello?” He’s finally rescued.

“Have you talked to anyone on the team lately?”

“Who died?” It was everyone’s go-to question when they got a phone call like this one.

“No one, quite the opposite actually—“

“She’s pregnant!” Derek shouts, cutting him off and Spencer can hear Savannah asking who from the background.

“Well, yeah, but that’s not why I'm calling,” Spencer replies only to be met with Derek's laughter.

“Penny and I had a bet on how long it would take.”

“She cheated because she knew we were trying,” Spencer takes the fun from him, Penelope always won. “I have another kid.”

“I know man, birth is so cool— well I’m telling him anyway,” Derek is clearly talking to Savannah and him at the same time, “we’re pregnant again too.”

“No, Derek, I’m pregnant and sick as hell while you’re perfectly fine,” she snaps back at him as she takes the phone. “You better be so kind to her Doctor Spencer Reid; rub her feet, make her breakfast, thank every god on earth and the ground she walks on for being willing to make another version of you, do you hear me?”

“Yes ma’am,” Spencer hold back a laugh, wondering when Y/N would have a hormonal switch like that, “but I didn’t mean the one in her stomach, another fully formed human of my creation walked into the BAU looking for me today.”

There’s a rustling through the phone as Derek takes it back from her, “what the fuck did you just say?”

“Her name is Jo, she’s exactly a month younger than Henry and her parents died 7 months ago,” he continues without even repeating the last part, “Derek I have 3 kids now and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Where are you right now?”

“In Taylor Swift's guest house.”

“Spencer, be serious with me, are you doing drugs again?"

“Ask Penelope, she contacted Portia, Rossi’s stepdaughter, who contacted Taylor so I could help Y/N and Amoreena meet her, then JJ called and made us fly all the way to Quantico and now I have 2 children living with me and one on the way. Not to mention, child 1 is extremely jealous about sharing me with people and hasn’t even gotten accustomed to being a big sister, and child 2 is so traumatized she hacked the fucking sperm bank and explained it to me like it was as easy as making a sandwich. I am in over my head here, Derek.”

“Okay, that sounded more like Spencer Reid,” Derek’s calm and happy voice calms him slightly and prompts him to take a deep breath. “If she’s able to hack she’s most likely like Penelope, we can introduce them. She’ll need someone who understands the loss of a parent. Amoreena, on the other hand, you need to spend a day with just her. Take her to the movies, or to see a play or something. Let her know she’s always going to be your little girl no matter how many siblings she gets.”

“Thank you, I needed someone who wasn’t my overly optimistic wife to tell me if I could do it,” he’s overly honest, Derek is his person and will always be his person.

“I get it, thanks for calling me, I’m really glad you’re okay,” he can hear Derek's smile and all he wants is a hug from him. “How was the wedding?”

“Good, we all cried a lot,” he laughs then, “we were supposed to have a big dinner on the beach before we got called into Quantico, so I’m going to go spend time with her now, I love you, Derek,” he rushes the words out so he doesn’t get overly emotional.

“I love you too, Spencer, have a good night,” Derek hands up before they both get too emotional. They always had a knack for making the other cry in times like this.

He lets out a deep sigh before tossing his phone on the bedside table. 3 of his 5 kids were here with him and Y/N now, safe and sound. If anyone else needed him, they could wait.

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187

@k-k0129

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #amoreena

[yn-rollcall]

Momento Bakugo x Reader: Ch. 5

First Chapter

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Summary: So I was always told to look on the bright side. The bright side is that I’m finally meeting the Number One and Two pro-heroes Deku and Dynamight. The downside is that I was publicly dragged out of my job for a string of robberies that I did not commit and am being detained for questioning.

Length: 1.5k

Warnings: Oral Sex, Food Kink, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Mirror Sex, Quirk Kink (My Hero Academia), Shameless Smut, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rough Sex, Emotional Constipation, Chocolate Syrup, Fluff, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Temperature Play, Hate Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Attempted Sexual Assault, Blood and Injury, Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Panty Kink, Semi-Public Sex, Creampie, Bondage, Body Worship, Light Dom/sub, Daddy Kink, Pegging, Public Masturbation, Office Sex, Wank and Tell, Polyamory, So like at the very very end there’s KatsukixReaderxKirishima, But it happens so last minute I don’t feel justified tagging it as one of the main relationships, Constructive Criticism Welcome

A03

Wattpad

The rest of the week passed by in a blur. After breaking the silence, Bakugo and I texted back and forth constantly. He also made a point of walking me home. We haven't called each other since a few days ago but really there's no need to. I saw him at least once a day at this point, even if it's brief. All the way up to the main event. Our date. Memories of Katsuki asking me out floated around in my head as I washed my face. It was a date right? It had to be. When I walked out of the bathroom, I saw Iris staring off into space in the living room.

She's been doing that alot lately. I've tried asking what's wrong but she'd brush me off, pretending she isn't acting weird. Apparently my concern was starting to annoy her because she started resorting to threats. Last time, she threatened to put a bunch of Dynamight merch in my room and send a picture to him if I kept asking. Not that it stopped me from showing concern. Well okay, it did stop me for like a day but I got over it. I headed to my room and got dressed in my pajamas. I considered talking to Iris again but decided to leave it alone. She'll tell me when she's ready and my head is elsewhere anyway. I haven't been on a date in years and I have to have the capacity to act normal tomorrow. I laid down and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The sun streaked through my curtains and I sat up with a yawn. I checked my phone. it was around 10:30. If I wanna put makeup on, I better get up. I rolled over and shuffled to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Iris' snores filtered through the wall, so I try to make sure I'm quiet to let her sleep. After brushing my teeth, I stared into my closet, trying to decide my outfit. I reached for a shirt just before a dull buzz came from my bed. I plucked the shirt and tossed it on my chair before checking my phone.

Sparky:

People often ask me how I manage to smuggle chocolate into movie theatres

Let's just say, I have a few Twix up my sleeve...

He sent a picture of a twix bar in his hand. I rolled my eyes, unable to contain my smile.

Y/N:

Is this your way of being excited about the movie?

Sparky:

Yes, and I know you're smiling so go ahead and send a picture.

Y/N:

And spoil the reveal?? Never. I don't think you're ready for Casual Clothes Y/N.

Sparky:

I don't think you're ready for my casual either.

Y/N:

I just hope you evolved from your church shoes era. That was sad.

Sparky:

One day, I'm gonna find your middle school pictures and we'll see who's laughing.

I sincerely hope he doesn't

Y/N:

Chill out. Aren't heroes supposed to be nice?

Sparky:

Never said I was.

I smiled and tossed the phone, making a last minute decision on my outfit. Iris woke up on my way out and quickly got dressed.

"You in a hurry?" I asked, putting on my shoes.

"Uh I'm not missing the chance to give you the pep talk of the century." She said, throwing on a wig.

"I don't need a pep talk babe, go back to sleep." I said, shooing her back inside.

"So you're not nervous about going on a date for the first time in two years with one of the top pro-heroes?" She said, her face full of doubt.

I wanted to lie but the sweat on my palms and back said otherwise. I'm gonna need a towel before I even get there. She got finished and draped her arm over my shoulder peppering pep talks in between jokes. It felt nice to have her act like her normal self and the pep talk was admittedly helping alot. Just before I crossed the platform she gave me a thumbs up.

"Text me if you need the apartment to yourself." She said, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Please stop." Carefully trying not to imagine the possibility.

"Nope." She said with a pop. "Seriously though, text me when you're coming back okay?"

"Alright, I will." I reassured her as I boarded the train.

Bakugo offered to pick me up but honestly I wasn't sure if I could handle being alone with him in a car AND a movie theatre. I got off the platform and saw Bakugo before he saw me. He wore a black hoodie with orange designs swirling over it, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, paired with dark skinny jeans. I looked down at his shoes. They're black shoes with orange trim and they look new. His ears had black studs embedded and he had a few silver rings on his fingers. It was a simple outfit but fuck it worked . Seeing him without the hero suit made him a person. An incredibly handsome person who makes me nervous. Maybe I really wasn't ready for casual Bakugo. He saw me and paused, eyes wide.

I wore an orange, off the shoulder, fuzzy sweater paired with thigh highs and a short black skirt. Given that his eyes lingered on my thighs, operation Look-At-My-Gams was a success. My stompy boots are black, worn-out and from a thrift store but he used to wear church shoes so I'll roast him if he mentions it. I wore black eyeliner with an orange stripe over it and kept the rest of the makeup subtle. Lastly, I finished it off by styling my hair so he could see my explosion earrings. I also had the Dynamight pin from my bag hanging off my purse. He recovered and gave me his signature smirk. As I walked closer he touched the earrings.

"It's getting harder for you to deny being a fan." He smirked

"Is the guy who begged me to stroke his ego really looking a gift horse in the mouth?" I replied, crossing my arms.

"Don't worry, I'm wearing fan merch too." He said.

I tilted my head, confused as to what he meant when he pulled the hoodie off. I saw a peek of his abs and the full reveal of his arms was murder on my heart rate. He wore a t-shirt with a white silhouette of a girl hovering above the ground, with cars and little white debris floating around her. Gravity girl was lined by the cracks in the pavement below the silhouette. It was kind of cool and also weird considering I'm not getting paid for merch.

"You got my merch?" I said with a slow smile.

"Yup. It's a good shirt. And Gravity Girl happens to be cool."

"She is pretty dope." I agreed with a smile.

He pulled his hoodie back on and reached for my hand. I was certain he could feel my heart beating because the second he grabbed my hand, he smirked. I laced my fingers through his, ignoring his eyes on me. I can pretend it's casual and that I've done this a million times if I don't look at him. He gave my hand a squeeze and guided me to the movie theatre. We entered the cool theatre and found our seats. I leaned towards him.

"So, big bad Bakugo likes cartoon movies eh?" I snickered.

"Big Bad Bakugo likes quality movies of any kind." He replied in a low voice.

"Quit owning your interests. I'm trying to tease you." I gave him a light shove on his arm.

"There are way more effective ways to tease me." He murmured.

"You want me so bad it's embarrassing." I joked with a shit-eating grin.

He paused for a moment. "I really fucking do." He replied in a low growl.

My breath caught in my throat.

Y/N used Deflection. It was not effective. AT ALL.

"Y'know, Chargebolt talked to me about what seeing Hitoshi in his merch did to him and I didn't get it." He murmured. "I thought he was just being Denki but seeing you in my colors . Knowing your damn outfit was with me in mind..."

I looked up at him, my breath caught in my throat. His eyes shone with lust as the theatre darkened for the previews. I could almost see what he wanted to do. When his eyes flicked to my skirt, I rubbed my thighs together, suddenly self-conscious. I looked away, my breath shaky. The usual theatre message started about turning off your phones and being polite. I couldn't concentrate on that because I felt a rough calloused hand, snaking up my thigh.

Bakugo leaned in, lips lightly touching my ear. "Let me show you how to tease, sweetheart." He whispered.

His hand moved agonizingly slow over the expanse of my thigh. I couldn't hear the damn trailers over my heartbeat. My body was hot and if he got any closer to my pannies he'd know I was soaked. He kneaded my thigh, rubbing his calloused thumb in soft circles while moving closer and closer to my center. The gentle scratching of his rough palms made me shiver. The sensation pulled scenarios from my brain where I felt those hands everywhere. Panic buzzed at the back of my throat because I knew if he touched me, I'd lose it. But I didn't want to lose and I didn't want this game of chicken to end.

He's moving so slow and watching my face. I'm trying to keep a calm mask but I'm breathing way too hard, way too fast. Everywhere he touched sent shockwaves of lust into my body. I fucking wanted him. I get it. I'm crazy too, he's driving me crazy too. His hand edged closer and closer until he's right there . He moved his pinky and all of a sudden it's like cold water is doused on me.

Different hands.

Smoother.

Thinner.

Completely unwanted.

Hopeless. He won't stop. He never stops.

A calloused hand touched my cheek and I looked at Bakugo, tears welling in my eyes. I looked down and I saw my hands death-gripping his. Blood was starting to form where my nails were digging in. I let go, feeling embarrassment wash over me. There are at least seven people between me and the nearest bathroom. Seven people between me and pretending this didn't happen.

Fuck I'm gonna cry

Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.

"I'm sorry." Bakugo murmured. "I didn't mean-"

Please DO NOT apologize to me right now, that's gonna make it WORSE.

"It's fine." I said through gritted teeth trying to hold my tears back.

Bakugo winced and withdrew, leaning away from me. I know he's thinking it's his fault. I know there's a misunderstanding happening. But I can't fucking correct it right now. Not without explaining. Not without crying . I might cry anyway. Dammit. My hands shook from the effort of gripping my thighs while I tried so hard to stop those damn drops of water from falling from my eyes. I saw Bakugo lean down from my peripheral. Eye movement means crying, I'm not that curious. A few moments later a black hoodie was gently set in my lap. I glanced over to him, he was looking directly at the screen. Giving me privacy. He quickly glanced at me and then glanced back at the screen.

"I won't look." He said softly.

I think I fucking love him.

I took the hoodie, with shaky hands and let the tears fall. He's not looking, no one is looking at me. I can be a little shameless. I sniffed the hoodie and held it close. It wasn't a Dynamight hug but it was just as good. Better even. The shame-filled thoughts about my brokenness swirled but didn't have any weight next to his kind gesture. My emotions finally settled into a calmer state and I began to enjoy the movie. The main character was starting their journey, a little lost but some people are willing to help.

Then I started crying again because found family shit gets me literally every time. I looked over to Bakugo who was also tearing up. I wish I didn't freak out earlier so I could make fun of him for it. I went back and forth from watching the movie to watching him. Seeing his face go through a range of emotions alone was good enough to pay for. At every shock and twist, I looked at him and his face was exactly what I was feeling. We should watch this movie again, alone, so we can joke around and talk. The movie ended and we all filed out. Bakugo stayed silent, carefully avoiding touching me as we walked out of the theatre. I had to tell him or else he's gonna feel like shit.

"Bakugo." I said, my voice creaky.

He didn't turn around but he stopped. His hands clenched in his pocket.

"Thank you for the hoodie. I really needed it."

He glanced at me, sighed and looked away. "It's the least I could do after..." He trailed off, grimacing.

He looked at me, apology on the cusp of his lips and I held my hand out, stopping him. I took a deep breath, summoning all my gusto which was definitely at less than half tank at the moment.

"Congratulations! You, Good Sir, have unlocked the tragic backstory!" To engage, touch the right hand, to decline touch the left! Clock is ticking!" I announced in a cheery voice.

Bakugo gave me a weird look and touched my right hand. My smile dropped to a much weaker version and I swallowed hard.

"If that's your choice, then we should find somewhere private to talk." I said weakly, not able to keep up the announcer voice.

Bakugo took my hand and walked me to his car. We drove in silence and the more we drove the more I regretted my decision. I could probably back out but, I think I want to say it. I think I need to say it. Finally the car rolled to a stop, at the top of a hill overlooking the city. Bakugo got out and closed the door behind him. I followed suit. He sat down next to the railing at the end of the hill. I did the same. The hill was a beautiful view overlooking the city. I watched cars drive off into the growing sunset and people peacefully living their lives below. I couldn't tell you how long we sat there, whether it was a few minutes or an hour. I was busy debating whether I was really ready to let him know everything. Or if I even could. I wasn't but I'll do what I can.

"Before moving here, I was with my ex for two years." I started, feeling those boxes of emotion started to bubble up. "He...wasn't a good guy."

The wind blew, wafting more of his salty caramel scent towards me. I used that to keep going.

"I don't remember much about the relationship. And when I do, its..really bad. So I try not to think about it." I gripped his sweater.

"So, when I touched you earlier. It reminded you of him?" He said softly. "Do I...remind you of-"

"No." I said firmly. "You're nothing like him. You're..."

Unexpectedly Sweet. Thoughtful. Arrogant. Warm. Easily Irritated. Sexy. Deliberate. Corny. Cheesy. Handsome.

I glanced at him, thoughts of him piling over. A mosaic of things I liked about him swirled in my mind but none of them saying the full story. None of them captured how I really felt. And I can't just spontaneously write a sonnet.

I could troll you forever. You're such a good sport. Great Arms. A smirk to die for. Probably Definitely Kinky. Determined. Smells Great. Sincere. 10/10 hugs.

Everything I could ever want.

"It's an insult you're both considered men to be honest. You're leagues ahead of that guy." I said, leaning against the railing with a small smile.

He laughed and those boxes of emotion started to bubble over as I formed my lips to admit something I haven't ever been able to say. The closest I came to admitting it was when I arrived at Iris' doorstep two years ago bawling my eyes out. I let myself cry but I never let myself admit anything. I squeezed the hoodie, my eyes shining with unshed tears.

"He hurt me." I whispered, my voice cracking.

My mouth twisted into a smile against my will. I thought I got rid of this tic. Those boxes of emotion spilled over, flooding everything.

"He hurt me really bad." My voice shuddered as tears started to fall.

I'm so scared of being weak again. Please don't hurt me please. I won't recover. I still haven't recovered.

"I'm so scared that I'm broken." I whispered, finally admitting to myself one of my greatest fears.

I pulled the hoodie up, so I could sob in peace. Bakugo's hands shyly wrapped around me. Silently and carefully asking permission with every inch he moved until I was fully in his embrace. I cried and cried and when I finally put the hoodie down, it was nightfall. He rubbed his thumb in gentle circles around my arm, patiently waiting for me to be okay. And for the first time in four years I think, at this moment at least, I can say I actually felt okay. I realized I never went into detail but..it doesn't feel like I have to. And I appreciate that.

"I was a hostage in a villain attack once. When I was a student." He said, breaking the silence. "A couple times actually."

I looked up at him, tilting my head. He gave me a small smile.

"When it happened, I tried shoving it down but it eventually caught up to me." He rested his chin on my head. "I didn't want to let you do the same thing. But I can't force you to talk. So, I tried cheering you up. And being around if you needed it."

Getting Hawks to walk me home, the check ins, the corny jokes, this movie. It all makes sense.

"That explains the Gentle Bakugo Experience I've been getting lately." I said with a small smile.

"Can't always be intense." He said.

"Guess so." I agreed.

Bakugo rubbed my back in soothing circles and I looked up at him. He met my gaze. I bit my lip and sighing.

"Can you please kiss me?" I cringed, knowing this isn't smooth at all.

He shifted my body so I was straddling him. I balanced myself with my hands on his hard, defined chest. His hands slid down my torso, leaving a trail of heat as he gripped my hips and scooted me closer. He paused, making sure I was okay before cupping my chin, tilting my head up. He slowly leaned in, the smell of popcorn dusting over my nose until we finally, finally touched lips.

We both paused for a moment like we didn't expect to get this far, then I pushed into the kiss. Shy, vulnerable. He pushed back. Hungry and pleading. I let out a tiny gasp when he bit my lip, he groaned and started rocking his hips. I rocked back, desperate to get any friction to satisfy my growing need. His grip on my hips tightened as his tongue explored my mouth. I pulled back and nibbled on his lip, causing him to buck his hips forward. He shifted my hips forward again until we're grinding into each other. His hands dig into my sides, not leaving that spot. I know why he's doing it but I can't stand it.

"Bakugo." I pleaded softly, while touching his hands.

I moved his hands to my ass and wrapped my hands around his neck. I could feel how much he wanted it too. I was practically riding it, if only the jeans weren't there. He cupped my ass and started guiding my hips to the rhythm he wanted, his control slipping as a low groan escaped his mouth. His mouth drifted to my neck leaving soft kisses until he reached the base. He sucked hard on the spot and gave it a light bite. My body jolted with a gasp and I squeezed him harder with my thighs. He swirled his tongue on the spot, the sensation going straight to my clit.

Bakugo let out a shaky breath and pulled back slightly. "We should stop." He panted.

I lightly bit the base of his neck, his hips buck forward and I felt more of that sweet sweet friction. He growled and lightly pushed me back.

"We're stopping." His breath shuddered.

I know it's the adrenaline and vulnerability causing this but that bit of restraint felt like shit. He wasn't rejecting me, I know that. But it felt like it. I quickly stood up so he couldn't see me tearing up.

"Okay, yea." I said, my voice cracking. I winced. "Got it."

"Y/N, it's not that I don't want to." He quickly said, getting up after me.

"I know, just give me a second." I said quickly before getting in the car and hugging the hoodie.

He walked to the driver's side and opened the door, looking at me with pleading eyes.

"Do you know?" Bakugo said softly.

"I do! Just...give me a minute." My voice cracks again, not helping AT ALL.

He sighed and turned the ignition in his car. We drove in silence and I'm telling myself to chill out. He's just looking out for me. He probably just wants to make sure I'm okay before doing anything like that. It's fine. It's literally fine. He clearly wanted to, he's just being a good guy.

But what if it's because he felt obligated? You just shared your sob story

It's not like that.

But what if it is? What if he felt pressured? What if this was all strictly just to cheer you up?

I felt my heart cave in as I re-examined everything. I know I'm just freaking out but it doesn't stop the thought from creeping up and worming it's way into the cracks. He was clearly interested before all this. In the kitchen we had a moment, he texted cheesy jokes and went out of his way to see me.

What if...now that he knows....you're not worth it anymore?

Taglist: @macaroniwiththechickenstripz

#bakugo smut #bakugo katuski x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugo x y/n #bakugo katsuki #bnha bakugou #mha smut #momento

[royalhouseofcarrington]

Questions and Answers From Your OC!

From the perspective of your OC (if you want). Do this as many times are you would like to and answer as many as you would like!

I was tagged by the ever so lovely @officalroyalsofpierreland​ and @trentonsimblr (So sorry that I’m just now getting to this) and I’m going to tag anyone who wants to do it! 

I’m very fond of Douxie right now, and he’s still of a box full of questions, so I’ll do him! 

1) What is your favorite sport?

I’m not very much into sports actually. If I have the time, I do enjoy going down to the pool and swimming laps.

2) What is your favorite color?

To be quite honest, I’m not sure. I’m very fond of green and light blue for reasons I’m not quite sure I understand, but I do tend to wear black more than anything.

3) What is your favorite movie?

Growing up my favorite movie was The Sleeping Princess (old, but one of my mothers’s favorites) but as of right now... I’m not quite sure to be honest. I think the last movie I watched was at a premiere for work. 

4) Taken? Single?

Taken. Very much taken by Ana. You could say that I’m... taken for life? 

5) What would be your perfect day?

No work. No filming. No press events. No press tours. A breakfast at the local cafe that I’ve been dying to go to. Take Annie out. Go for a walk together. See a movie. Take her to a fancy restaurant for dinner. Grab some ice cream. Very simple, I feel.

6) Are you a night owl or an early bird?

Oh, how I would love to be a night owl. Unfortunately, my schedule at the moment doesn’t allow for me to be a night owl, so I am an early bird. 

7) Do you think you're smart?

Heavens no. I barely managed to graduate high school on time. My mothers think I am, but they’re the ones who had to watch me struggle through nearly 13 years of math class. 

10) How do you like to be comforted when you are sad?

Chocolates help. And hugs. Great big hugs never hurt. 

11) Where do you want to be in 5 years time?

Standing at the end of the aisle at the very least. At the most? I personally wouldn’t be opposed to some tiny little ones running around.  

12) Do you have any regrets?

Not meeting Annie again sooner.

13) Who are/is your best friend(s)?

My dearest friend is Cody. We’ve known each other for ages and talk quite often. Our schedules are often very contradictory so we don’t see each other face to face very often, but we have a very good time when we do.

14) What was your dream last night?

A very good one. 

15) Who in your family are you closest to?

My mothers, without question. They’ve seen me through highs and lows and I honestly don’t know what I would do without them.

16) What is one thing people don't know about you?

There’s actually a third tattoo..., it’s just hidden out of sight. It has a very important meaning to me though, which is why I got it.

17) Best present ever given to you?

I’m not sure. Annie did get me a signed copy of my favorite book last Winterfest (Watcher knows how she managed to do that, the author’s been with the Reaper for at least 30 years now), so that’s one of them I’d have to say. 

18) What is your favorite food?

Any food made by my Maman. She’s an excellent chef and anytime I’m home for dinner, is completely and utterly worth it. 

19) Earliest childhood memory?

My cousin being a complete bully to me. 

20) Do you have a crush?

I always have a crush on Annie.

21) If you could live in a different period, which one would it be?

I’m rather content in this time period. The fashion of the 17th century is nice, but I’d rather stay here. Those coats look hot. 

22) Any nicknames?

Douxie. Doux’. One of my little cousins once called me Hisi while trying to get my attention and that’s certainly a nickname I am not fond of. 

23) Introvert or Extrovert?

A combination really. Some days I’m an introvert, some days I’m an extrovert. It depends on what’s happening. 

24) Favourite book?

The End of the Beginning by Sarah Laurite. It’s my favourite book series.

25) Hobby?

Playing guitar, mostly. I haven’t been able to find the time for it, but perhaps one of these days I’ll surprise Ana with a guitar song. Perhaps. 

26) Beach or pool?

I haven’t gone to the beach in ages! I’m not a fan of sand, but I do enjoy going down to the pool when I can.

27) First kiss? 

Yes. For privacy’s sake, I won’t share who it was, but I was 12? Maybe 11? 

28) Favourite subject

Art was always my favorite subject in school. That or theatre classes when I got to high school.

29) Age

26.

30) Full name

Hisirdoux Michael Caspersen.

31) Pets?

One black cat who’s fond of roasted salmon who goes by the name of Archie.

32) Age (if they have one)?

Arch is almost 9 years old!

33) Fave song?

I don’t believe that I have one.

34) Where do you live?

Carrington. For privacy’s sake, I won’t say anything more than that.

35) What/who do you miss?

I do desperately miss my late grandmother. She passed away when I was fairly young and I would have loved the opportunity to spend more time with her. 

36) Which school(s) do/did you go to?

On set-school mostly, in conjuction with the Nimben School of the Arts in downtown Bilchester. Growing up I went to Hartford Primary before I was cast.

37) Favorite food? 

Still anything made by my Maman, but also Ana’s baked sweets.

38) Tattoo?

Yes. 3. And more planned.

39) Done anything illegal?

Heavens no.

40) Fav TV show?

CABN’s Texelin Street. Haven’t missed an episode yet.

41) Do you know any celebrities?

Yes, my girlfriend. Other than her? Also yes.

42) Dreams/wishes?

To be able to retire from acting and Simwood and not have to worry about life on set or the tabloid magazines for 5 minutes.

43) Are you very competitive?

Only when I’m pushed to be competitive.

44) Greatest gift (could be a physical gift or a spiritual gift)?

Being adopted by my mothers and being able to have such a loving family and girlfriend.

45) Greatest accomplishment?

Getting cast in my first movie, I suppose.

46) If you were stuck on a desert island, who would you be stuck with?

Can I pick two? Annie and Cody. My girlfriend and best friend and my best friend.

47) Zodiac sign

Scorpio

48) Where were you born?

My birth certificate says that I was born at the Exeter General Hospital.

49) Sexuality?

Straight. 

50) What color are your eyes?

I’ve been informed by several sources that they are green. 

51) What color is your hair?

Black.

52) Do you want/ have kids?

Yes. I would love to have several children one day, hopefully in the near future.

53) when is your birthday?

November 18th.

54) Current mood?

Relaxed. Happy. Nervous. Excited.

55) Do you send goodnight or good morning texts to people?

Depends on who it is.

56) What do you want to be when you grow up/ what is your occupation?

I’m an actor right now. In the future I want to take a step towards the director and producers chairs though.

57) How long do you sleep for?

However long my schedule will allow. 

58) How long does it take you to get up in the morning?

Usually right away, but when I have the time... 20 minutes?

59) How long does it take you to get ready?

5 minutes.

60) Meyer Briggs personality type?

ISFP

#non-story #This was fun #I want to do this with more of my characters #Maybe JIm? #Or Ana? #Both? #I'm gonna make some google docs brb

[fandomlifechoseme]

hi! i i was wondering if you could write a damian wayne x reader where they are soulmates and he rejects her at first but dick finds out and fluff ensues

Hell yeah you can!

It was a fun day at school. All of the theatre kids put on a play while the sports kids played sports I guess, I spent the entire time chilling by myself. It was how I liked it. I spent the entire day drawing which obviously felt like heaven that was until he came around. Damian showed up in the art room I know he like to draw as well so I didn’t say anything against it. But then when I slightly got bored I decided to draw on my arm. I drew a little rose that Grew into a tree I thought it looks nice personally. When I looked up though, Damien was watching me with this disgusted look on as I obviously I thought he was just judging me because I was writing on my own. But then I looked onto his arm and they’re sat the exact same drawings. Shit. I wanted to talk to him about it but he just stood up and ran. Rude. Every day I saw him in the art room and I tried and tried and tried to talk to him. He never even let me get a single word in. One day I cornered him in the art room

“ we need to talk”

“ about what tch”

I quickly picked up my pencil and draw little smile on my wrist. It appeared on his quickly.

“That”

“Honestly I don’t want to be your soulmate either. but we need to talk about it”

He stood up from where he was sitting and gave me the most terrifying glare I have ever seen.

“ you don’t get it though, I’m never going to fall in love with a loser like you. You can’t be my soulmate because my soulmate would actually be good at something not mediocre at drawing”

He then marched out of The art room, leaving me there to just sit in sorrow. How can anyone be that rude. Let alone someone who I’m supposed to fall in love with and someone who I’m supposed to spend the rest my life with. I decided then and there that I would never conform to society is ideal soulmate. I didn’t need someone to be happy. Especially someone who makes me feel like shit. Months go by And every time I see Damien in the hallways I just give him a scoff. I just hope one day he’ll feel as bad as how I felt in that moment. no one in their right mind to get to treat someone like that and get away with it.

Art class was hard because Damian was in my class and Miss worked out they were trouble is between us. She took it upon herself to “fix” us. One day she decided that she would start a project. You had to paint someone you admired. And it was in pairs. So obviously she paired me with the asshole.

“ Who inspires that cold dead heart of yours?” Harsh. I know. But my parents had raised me to believe your soulmate is someone who makes you feel happy and get here. If it none of those boxes harsh. I know. But my parents had raised me to believe your soulmate is someone who makes you feel happy and giddy. Damian fit none of those boxes.

“my heart is very much beating, thank you and I guess Robin.”

Blah!

“Yeah I guess, I definitely prefer Nightwing though, oh! but Red Robin is awesome!” His face goes to pure disgust at the mention of Red Robin.

“Drake would never let me forget it. I’d rather do Nightwing”

At least we came to an agreement? Yano he’s not that ba-

“ oh and stop with the drawing on yourself. I don’t need that on me”

Nope. I take it back he is a 10/10 butthole. I take out my pen and start drawing red robin all over my arms.

“ fine, keep drawing. Just no Red Robin.” I can make this arrangement work out. Missed calls out to everyone, that we have five minutes and it would be best if we work a bit at home.

“My house or yours?”

“Tch, my Manor. obviously”

TIME SKIPPY!

After school ended I started heading over to where Damian was waiting. He offered me a ride begrudgingly. To which I accepted. I expected to be riding home in a simple car. But I did not expect a freaking limo. We get into the car and Damian calls to the driver.

“Pennyworth! This is my partner I was telling you about, We will be working on our project at the home today” pennyworth? That’s a weird name. Maybe it’s his last name.

“ good evening Miss/Mr L/N my name is Alfred pennyworth. You may call me Alfred” I gave Alfred a small smile and thank him for the ride.

“You can you call me Y/N!” We went through most of the ride in complete silence. The only noise was the rare chatter between Alfred and Damian. When we pulled up to Damian’s house immediately recognised it as the Wayne Manor! I forgot he was a Wayne sometimes. He just acts so different to his father. We walk up to the door and hear gunshots. Obviously this scares me a little bit so I asked Damian what it was.

“That’s just Todd. You don’t need to be afraid of him” He says in a comforting voice? When we open the door I recognised Dick Grayson immediately. He may or may not of been my childhood crush, you’ll never know.

“ Grayson. This is my partner L/N. We will be working on a project from 4 to 8 pm. I expect no disturbances throughout this period of time.”Oh so he’s like that at home as well. Dick Grayson turns to me.

“Hi! And what is your name?”

“Y/n! I didn’t know you’d be here!” Out Walks Tim Drake. A distant friend of a friend.

“ honestly, I didn’t even know I’d be here until period four. It’s nice to see you Tim”

Tim then sees my arm Which still is covered with Red Robin

“ you are a fan of Red Robin?” He had an unnatural smile on. Like it looked like pure amusement mixed with doubt and a hint of sleep deprivation.

“Ye-“ before I could finish the sentence Damian grabs my arm and starts leading me to his room I think. Or the art room.

Dick’s POV

I noticed it when Damian grabbed their arm. I noticed the red robin drawn all over his arm too. Oh man. That explains when he came home awkward and semi Upset. I know he has a crush on them maybe they doesn’t have a crush on him. He would come home every day and just talk non-stop about them. Then one day he just stopped. He said at the start of that day that he would finally talk to them. And yet nothing happened. I turned to Tim to ask him

“Did you see what was on his arm?”

“Obviously, how could I ever miss this opportunity. He has red robin written all over his arm and drawn. I’m gonna have to thank Y/n”. After smacking him lightly. I go and try to find out what happened from Alfred. Tim goes back to his lair And does whatever he does when he’s hiding. I had to convince Jason to stop shooting so that Y/N would not think we are under attack. After a lot of digging and talking to everyone including Bruce and my lovely Barbara. I found out what happened. As the great big brother I am I had to get involved. I made a few calls and within minutes I had everything I needed.

“Damian! Y/n! Come downstairs we’re gonna watch a movie!” Obviously I picked out the most romantic movie we owned. It wasn’t really romantic but was the best thing we had.

“Grayson! We are working on the project! We are not watching a movie.” Okay time for plan b. I quickly run up the stairs and slam open the door. It turns out they were doing more than making a project. They were making a painting of me. There’s nothing more romantic than painting me. Well I think I still need to help out a bit. So I leave the movie there for them and ask if Y/N wanted to stay the night.

“I can’t, sorry, my mother would never agree.”

Y/n’s pov

I didn’t want to stay over because, my mother is a murderous people who does not like the idea of staying over boys house and I guess that’s the only reason. I mean Damien‘s bad but we have great conversations. Like before Dick came in we were having a fun conversation about why we admired night wing. Dick looked sad but he left.

“ anyway. Why do you not like Robin?”

“It’s not like I don’t like Robin. I just think he’s just a bit scary you know?” He nods.

“ why do you not like red robin?” This lit a fire in his eyes.

“ where do I get started. First of all he is incompetent, he thinks he’s great but he’s very shit.”

“Reminds me of you”

“ do not compare us”

“ or what?” He just laughs and as he was about to answer. Dick kicks open the door and starts talking about how he convinced my mother to let me stay over. I mean He probably could convince anyone anything. If he came up to me one day and said that the joker was actually Batman I’d immediately believe him.

I agree to stay over. And as I turned around I heard the door slam shut again. Sounds like dick had left. Damian looks at me with a sincere look.

“I want to apologise. I panicked and in the heat of the moment I said things I didn’t mean. One. I’d be honoured if you are my soulmate. Two. I don’t think your mediocre at drawing.”

Can’t say I expected that. But I don’t think he expected though was for me to forgive him.

“ Damian. I really like you and I think we could definitely work out as soulmates. If you are willing to try?” He smiles. this is the first time I’ve ever seen them smile and we have been in class together for almost 3 years.

“ can I, can I kiss you?”

I nod and lean into the kiss. Before our lips could touch though. Loud gunshots rock through the building again.

“Dam Todd.”

“ so I take it that the Waynes aren’t a normal family?”

“Nope” Tim says falling out of the ceiling.

#dc #dc x reader #tim drake #dick grayson #batfam #batfam x reader #damian wayne #damian wayne x reader #jason todd

[shitaholicshits]

Y'all know how big of a movie (and tv show) buff I am. If you don't, then this is one thing you should know about me if you're my friend XD But there's something else y'all don't know yet is, how huugee of a DC universe fan I am. And more importantly, a Wonder Woman fan girl (Gal Gadot is and will always be my first and last love, my one true love <3)

Soooooo all the DC fans must know what I'm gonna talk about.

YASSS YOU BITCHES I WATCHED WONDER WOMAN 1984 JUST FINISHED RIGHT NOW.

And it's 3:45 a.m and I don't know if i should sleep or just think about wonder woman in her golden armour or cry for Steve and Diana 💔

Okay I was the first to click on the YouTube video when it's trailer came back in Feb, and was sooo heartbroken when it's release was pushed because of well ours truly Covid. I kept waiting and waiting and waiting and it came as a Christmas Surprise to me, BUT OBVIOUSLY knowing my luck, I couldn't go to the theatre to watch it (again it's actually because of covid and i haven't hated anything more in my life I literally cried when I got to know it's releasing on Christmas but I can't go to the theatre to watch it). But now, I FINALLY watched the movie, even though it was on my laptop and that shitty old bed, but it was still worth it. It made me cry again the way it did the first time. Gal was amazing ofcourse but Pedro deserves soooo much applause for being the phenomenal villain he was in the movie. His expressions are just on point he's tooo much of a good actor. First GoT, then Mandalorian and now Wonder Woman 84, tooo good(I have only seen him in these 3 places). Cheetah(I'm sorry idk the actress name, I'll have to google later)- AMAZING. Definitely loved the way her character was built. Her action scenes, her acting- BRILLIANT. Some people complained about Cheetah's CGI but c'mon guys, its okay, it's a really small thing. Probably it will be better in the next movie, her character is just introduced here. And it's such a beautiful movie, unless you're petty like that, no one can hate this movie just for Cheetah's CGI. And we all know how good Gal and Chris Pine are so..💓

Also I heard lots of people (critics) saying that this movie was just fine, and the ending was meh, not too much action. Honestly I don't get what's wrong with them, because you don't ALWAYS need action to make a superhero movie successful. The climax was BEAUTIFUL. Wonder Woman in her new gilded armour was BEAUTIFUL. But the one thing I felt bad about was her scenes with the gold armour with those beautiful wings, yea those were just too short. I guess it deserved more screen time she looked amazing. I mean look at her!!!!

Like she's soooo breathtaking and you only give me that for not even 10 minutes????

But anyway coming back to the characters, Steve Trevor, ugh, he just keeps making you cry again and again and again and again. Why would you do that to our heart Steve we miss you come back😭😭😭.

I just cannot get enough of this movie and I honestly feel this is a theatre watch ONLY. It's a must. The visuals, the beautiful scenes, it just deserves a huuugee screen.

SPOILER ALERT

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LYNDA CARTER ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!???????!!!!!!?🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING could match Lynda Carter playing Asteria in Wonder Woman, knowing that she was the original Wonder Woman 😭😭😭💓💓💓

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Honestly, if you can go to the theatre to watch it, PLEASE GO PLEASE! You will not regret it one bit. But obviously take care of yourself and take all precautions too. I'm just too sad that I couldn't go to the theatre, I was really really looking forward to it. I watched the first wonder woman movie in 2018 in my phone, when my boyfriend introduced me to DC. And yes I do love Marvel too, but since then all the DC movies have been so close to my heart ugh. Wonder Woman definitely holds a special place, and I really regretted not watching the first movie in the theatre. But I promised myself that I'll watch the next movie in the theatre but oh well.

And to anyone who isn't a fan of DC or isn't a fan of Superhero movies in general, please atleast watch Wonder Woman. Both the movies. You'll not regret it I SWEAR. She'll be your favourite just like she is mine💓❤️☺️

#wonder woman #1984 #wonder woman 1984 #steve #wonder woman steve #diana #diana prince #diana princess of themyscira #amazons of themyscira #amazons #lynda carter #gal gadot #gal #gadot #dceu #dc #Steve #cheetah #pedro pascal #pedro Pascal wonder woman #dc movies #christmas movies #steve and diana #Chris pine #why is be so cute #pedro #cheetah wonder woman #wonder woman 84 #ww #ww84

[huntertales]

Thank you so much for your incorrect quotes!!!! Now I have something extremely entertaining for after my surgery!!!!!!!!

You’re so very welcome!!! I hope you have a successful surgery and quick/good recovery time!! Here’s a lot more to help you for when you need them:

dean: i like your name y/n: thanks, i got it for my birthday

mary: people tell me i have a unique way of lighting up a room y/n: It’s called making a deal with a demon

y/n: if i run and leap at dean, he’ll catch me in his arms! y/n: *runs and leaps at dean* dean, who is holding coffee: *drops the coffee to catch y/n*

y/n: i am at a loss for words! dean, telling sam later: despite being lost for words, y/n yelled at me for the next 45 minutes

y/n: *accidentally hits dean in the face* y/n: *trying to decide between saying ‘i’m fucking sorry” and “are you okay?’ y/n: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

sam: you read my diary?! y/n: at first, I didn’t know it was your diary. i thought it was a very sad handwritten book

dean: i wasn’t hurt that bad dean: y/n said all the bleeding was internal dean: which is where it’s supposed to be

dean: you’re a lying, cheating, piece of shit! you’re not the person i married! y/n: fine then! we’re getting a divorce! and i’m taking the kids! sam, pushing the monopoly board away from them: …maybe we should stop playing

dean: do you like my outfit? y/n: not as much as I like what's underneath it dean, blushing: y/n... y/n: i need your chair. get up

y/n: do you miss the imagination of childhood? dean: i never had one y/n imagination or a childhood? dean: both

dean: i married my wife. i love saying ‘my wife,’ it sounds so adult dean: ‘that’s my wife.’ it’s great, you sound like a person

jack, dumping out a shopping bag full of lunchables onto the table: tonight, we feast

judge: how do you plead? dean: *looks over at y/n* y/n: *mouths 'not guilty'* dean: hot milky y/n: for fuck's sake just lock him up

sam: are you talking to yourself? y/n: yes y/n: it's the only way i have an intelligent conversation in this house

y/n: do you like me or do you like like me? dean, literally on one knee proposing: take a wild guess

*on halloween* dean: trick or YEET? one of the twins: yeet? dean: *throws the child*

josh: my kink is people caring about and respecting my feelings/opinions y/n: unrealistic. settle for bondage like the rest of us

*at the movie theatre* y/n: how do you want your popcorn? sweet or salty? cas, making heart eyes at meg: i want them like meg meg: awww y/n: they don't sell ugly popcorn

y/n: jack was about to hit his head on a bar at the playground so i told him to duck and he quacked at me y/n: and then he hit his head

charlie: describe y/n in one word cas: cool sam: nice dean: mine everyone: dean: that's fucking right, back off bitches

jack: we can bake cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute? y/n: no that's not how you make cookies dean: FLOOR IT jack: how about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?? sam: YOU'RE GONNA BURN THE BUNKER DOWN- jack: I'M GONNA HARVEST THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES dean: DO IT y/n: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE-

y/n: *sighs* if only someone out there loved me dean: *whispers* if only y/n knew how much i loved her sam, yelling: IF ONLY YOU TWO WOULD JUST LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND CONFESS DAMNIT

crowley: when i was younger i got grounded for a month because i came home late y/n: well, you deserved it y/n: i mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again crowley:

dean to sam: fuck you dean to cas: fuck you dean to josh: fuck you dean to y/n: i'd fuck you dean to everyone expect y/n: fuck you

y/n: what's your greatest strength? dean: i'm a great flirt y/n: what's your greatest weakness? dean: those beautiful eyes of yours

y/n: i'm about to do something stupid sam: dean has a name, you know

y/n: dean, would you like to be the sun of my life? dean: hell yeah y/n: then stay 92, 955,807 miles away from me dean: :(

y/n: i'm in love with you dean: ...thank you

y/n: i don’t have a seat dean: you can sit on my lap- sam: I don’t have a seat either dean: then stand and suffer

cas: what is toothpaste if not bone soap? y/n: every time you speak i age another 50 years

josh, once again acting as the group therapist: guys, what did we say about self-care? sam: more espresso less depresso josh: no y/n: don’t be sad. sad backwards is das, and das not good josh: no dean: it be like that sometimes josh: no- cas: it eez what it eez josh: NO

#mail #incorrect quotes #this blog is slowly turning into nothing but incorrect quotes and memes

[love-little-lotte]

15 Musical Theatre Duets That Make Me Believe In Love Again

Hi! This is a follow-up on my other list: 15 Musical Theatre Female Solos That Make Me Feel Things. This time, I’m going to talk about 15 musical theatre duets that make me believe in love again (obviously, as the title suggests). Love songs are beautiful and special, and I always love listening to them. You don’t even have to be in a relationship to really enjoy them. You just have to listen and feel the music and lyrics. 

Musical theatre love songs are a whole different story. I find them more meaningful because they’re part of a story. They help the story progress, as well as provide insight to the characters’ personality. And probably most importantly, these songs help make the audience understand the love these characters feel for each other. 

The following songs are my favorite romantic duets in musical theatre. Romantic duets are love songs sung by two people — usually, it’s sung when they profess their love for each other. I love them to bits, and I love how they made me feel. They’re also fun to sing along to! These songs are, in my opinion, incredibly romantic. They transcend me to a different place, and yes, they do make me believe in love again. Also, let me just remind you, that this is my personal list, so if you don’t agree, well then, you can always make a list of your own. 

(Disclaimer: I arranged these songs randomly to avoid favoritism, so this is not exactly a “ranking” list.)

1. Sun and Moon - Miss Saigon 

I was initially confused which song I would choose from Miss Saigon — this one or “The Last Night of the World.” I eventually chose this one because I liked the lyrics more. They’re so simple, but you can definitely feel the love between Kim and Chris with each word. 

This song is sung early on the show, where everything was going perfectly for the both of them. After spending the night, Kim and Chris fell in love unexpectedly while there is an ongoing war. He’s a soldier; she’s a prostitute. They come from a different world, but they found each other. It’s the perfect love song for them. 

Most memorable lyrics: How in the light of one night / Did we come so far?

2. Tonight - West Side Story

Just like Kim and Chris from Miss Saigon, Tony and Maria from West Side Story come from a different world. He’s a Jet; she’s a, well... Shark by relation? Anyway, this song is also an absolute favorite of mine. The music, the lyrics... are oh-so gorgeous. Even though they’ve only met one time prior to this song, they fell in love at first sight — and they fell hard. Both Tony and Maria were ready to risk their relationship with family and friends to be with each other.  

But before the story went into chaos, this song perfectly described the love they feel for each other. It’s a delightful song, and I love it to bits. I look forward to the day I sing this to a special someone who’s ready to defy everyone just to be with me!

Most memorable lyrics:  But here you are / And what was just a world is a star / Tonight

3. Ten Minutes Ago - Rodger and Hammerstein’s Cinderella

Ever wondered what it feels like to fall in love at first sight? Well, Ella and Prince Topher can tell you — or rather, sing it for you. This song is just as beautiful as the costumes of this Rodger and Hammerstein’s Cinderella production. Seriously, this is unrelated, but you really need to check out the costumes for this show. It’s to die for!

Anyway, this song is the first duet of Ella and Prince Topher. The music is soaring; the lyrics are romantic; and the choreography is memorable. This song is absolutely marvelous and perfectly encapsulates the feeling of falling in love at first sight (one of my favorite musical theatre tropes). Also, you need to check out the Tony Awards performance of this song! 

Most memorable lyrics: In the arms of my love I’m flying / Over mountain and meadow and glen

4. Take Me As I Am - Jekyll & Hyde

Unlike most of the songs in this list, I haven’t delved into this musical as much as I want to. Nevertheless, I fell in love with this gorgeous song. I have a weakness for sopranos, so of course, this song caught my attention. Christiane Noll, who played Emma in the OBC recording, sounded so, so heavenly. 

Through this song, I got to know Emma and Jekyll’s love for each other. They’re professing their love for each other, promising that they would be on each other’s side no matter what happens. It’s a song that teaches us acceptance and love really go together. Truly one of my favorite romantic song ever. 

Most memorable lyrics: And when despair / Tears me in two / Who can I turn to but you?

5. I’ll Cover You - Rent

This particular song is more carefree and upbeat compared to most of the songs in this list. But that doesn’t make it any less romantic. This song sung by my favorite couple in Rent is the absolute best. When all the other couples are fighting, Angel and Collins just continued loving each other and enjoying the little time they have. They are so sweet, and I totally love their relationship. And this song is a huge testament why. 

It’s a song that tells the audience that Angel and Collins just love being together and that they truly love one another. They were together through thick and thin, through Angel’s sickness until the very end. They weren’t kidding when they sang “I’ll be there and I’ll cover you.” And yes, the reprise version of this song is the definition of pain and sadness. 

Most memorable lyrics: But sweet kisses I’ve got to spare / I’ll be there and I’ll cover you

6. As Long As You’re Mine - Wicked

Whenever I listen to this song, I always describe it as “sensual and intimate.” This song may not be promiscuous or anything like that, but it’s so passionate and sexy in an innocent way. It’s a beautiful love song, and when performed right, truly make me fall in love. The lyrics are perfect for what Elphaba and Fiyero are going through, and the music is beyond catchy.

When they do release the movie version of Wicked — which is probably never at this point — I hope they cast actors who have amazing, off the roof chemistry. This song is one of my favorites, and I would love to see it done well on the big screen. Elphaba’s cheeky last line “For the first time, I feel... wicked” is probably my favorite line in the show. 

Most memorable lyrics: Borrow the moonlight / Until it is through / And know I’ll be here / Holding you / As long as you’re mine

7. Only Us - Dear Evan Hansen

One of the purest romantic songs ever. Though Evan may not be your ideal perfect guy, you can’t deny that this song is plain sweet. This duet between Evan and Zoe is cute and relatable — anyone who fell in love before can identify with the lyrics. And even though you’re not a fan of musical theatre, I’m pretty sure you’re still going to like this fan favorite.

This song is one of my favorite song in “new” musicals. It’s sung by teenagers in the show, but the lyrics and music are perfect to attract younger audiences. It’s a good song to sing along to, and probably a good dedication song for your significant other.

Most memorable lyrics: You and me / That’s all that we need it to be / And the rest of the world falls away

8. Seven Wonders - Catch Me If You Can

The first time I listened to the musical, I was in high school. I didn’t know it was based on a movie. I didn’t know who Frank Abagnale even is! The reason why I even cared about this musical is because of Aaron Tveit, which made me listen to the cast recording, then watch the movie (which is really good). I fell in love with this song the first moment I listened to it. It’s catchy and pure and beautiful. 

The duet is sung by Frank and Brenda in the musical. The lyrics (and Aaron Tveit) are probably the highlights of the song for me. It’s hilarious and, at the same time, really sweet. Imagine having a guy you like say that you couldn’t compare to all the beautiful places in the world because you’re perfect! And then imagine Aaron Tveit singing that to you. But seriously speaking, this song is goshdarn cute and romantic. 

Most memorable lyrics: I’ve been a lot of places / Yes, I’ve traveled near and far / But now I know that home is where you are

9. Happiness - Passion

This is the first song of the musical, and from there, I’m already in love. Giorgio and Clara’s song is simply enchanting. It tells the story of two people just being happy in each other’s arms. We don’t know who they are — as the musical only started — but we just know that they’re completely in love with each other, satisfied and contented.

Indeed, this is one of my favorite love songs ever. It’s warm, delightful, and deeply sensual. Giorgio and Clara’s love story may not be perfect (as we realize later on the show), but this song is perfect for their relationship in the beginning. 

Most memorable lyrics: Some say happiness / Comes and goes / Then this happiness / Is a kind of happiness / No one really knows

10. Say It Somehow - The Light in the Piazza

This musical has one of the best scores ever. It’s astonishingly pleasant to the ears. This particular song, on the other hand, is one of the best love songs I’ve ever heard. In this song, this is when Fabrizio (spoiler alert?) professes his love and proposes to Clara (a different one from the previously mentioned musical). 

Who does not want a declaration of love with a song like this? It’s everyone’s dream — or rather, my dream. It’s a gorgeous song with flawless music and lyrics. And I know you’re getting tired of hearing it but yes, this is one of my favorite songs.

Most memorable lyrics: Say it somehow / Anyway you can / You know me / You are good

11. Something to Believe In - Newsies

The first few notes of this song is already set to make me fall in love, and it succeeds. This love song is amazing and fun to sing along to. It’s catchy (especially the chorus) and above all, romantic. Jack and Katherine are not only friends, but they also know how to work together and that’s important in any relationship. 

Needless to say, this song is the perfect for the both of them. Jack and Katherine truly believed in each other. They’re one of my favorite couples in musicals, so I’m pretty happy that they got a really good song. It’s also one of those songs that you can play for your friends who don’t often listen to musicals. 

Most memorable lyrics: And if I’m gone tomorrow / What was ours still will be / I have something to believe in / Now that I know you believed in me

12. One Second and a Million Miles - The Bridges of Madison County

Honestly, I’m not sure if this is an “actual” love song, but what the hell, I love this song and I’m making the list so I’m going to include it. The entire musical is heartbreaking, but oh-so romantic and beautiful. The songs are exquisite and gorgeous, especially this big song in the second act wherein Robert tells Francesca to leave everything and run away with him. 

It’s a song of reassurance, that whatever the risks they’re going to take, it’s enough because they love one another and they’re going to be there for each other. It’s an incredible song and no matter how many times I listen to the cast recording, Kelli O’Hara and Steven Pasquale’s vocals give me chills every time. 

Most memorable lyrics: And you and I are just one second / Spinning by in just one second / You and I have just one second / And a million miles to go

13. All I Ask of You - The Phantom of the Opera

My. Favorite. Duet. Of. All. Time. I mean, I think most of my followers here are from the “Phandom” so you just know that I have to include a song from this musical. This song is the absolute best, which of course, truly made me believe in love again. It’s beautiful. Raoul and Christine’s relationship is the best, as the both of them love each other very much.

In this song, Raoul promises Christine to be there for her all the time no matter what. He promises his love for her and more. It’s a wonderful and romantic song that has been covered endless times by popular artists outside musical theatre (my favorite would’ve been Josh Groban and Kelly Clarkson’s version). And I swear, if I ever get married in the future, this will be the song that I would play on my first dance with my husband.

Most memorable lyrics: Say you’ll share with me one love, one lifetime / Say the word and I will follow you / Share each day with me, each night, each morning / Say you love me / You know I do

14. All I’ve Ever Known - Hadestown 

Anaïs Mitchell originally wanted this to be a solo for Eurydice, but I thank the gods everyday that she turned it into a duet. It’s my favorite song in the musical, and it’s absolutely wonderful. For a really long time, Eurydice was on her own and very independent. She didn’t trust anyone. But now, she was ready to open up and love Orpheus with all her heart. 

Furthermore, the choreography in this song is absolutely amazing. It showed the intimacy of Eurydice and Orpheus’ relationship through their dance. It went perfectly well along with the song as well! I love this song very much, and it’s on repeat. 

Most memorable lyrics: All I know is you’re someone I have always known / And I don’t even know you / Now I wanna hold you, hold you close / I don’t wanna ever have to let you go

15. I Have Dreamed - The King and I

Tuptim and Lun Tha are only supporting characters in their musical, but their songs are my absolute favorites. This and “We Kiss in a Shadow” are two of my favorite songs in the musical. Their songs, especially this one in particular, left a long-lasting impression to me. Even though I’m not in love, this song makes me feel like I am. 

My first version of this song is Lea Salonga and Peabo Bryon’s version (which you should really check out if you haven’t!) Their rendition of this song is super good — it’s like you’ve died and gone to heaven. The lyrics are amazing and perfectly written. To top it all of, this song is very romantic, and I love it so much. 

Most memorable lyrics: In these dreams, I’ve loved you so / That by now I think, I know / What it’s like to be loved by you / I will love being loved by you

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And that brings us to the end of this list. These 15 songs truly made me believe in love again, and I suggest you give them a listen! Who knows, maybe you’d like them as well. 

#musical theatre #duets #love songs #broadway #stage musicals #musicals #miss saigon #west side story #cinderella #jekyll and hyde #rent #wicked #dear evan hansen #catch me if you can #passion #the light in the piazza #newsies #the bridges of madison county #the phantom of the opera #hadestown #the king and i #romance

[purplesurveys]

964

..leave me here in my..stark raving sick sad little world.. by daizy62

**GENERAL JUNK** How many people do you know with the same first name as you? Two with the exact same spelling, three with a different spelling than mine. What in your opinion is the best love song ever written? Always so much pressure and a lot of thinking to answer superlatives like this...I haven’t listened to all the love songs in existence so I wouldn’t even be credible to begin with. My answer is pretty basic; I love Yellow by Coldplay. What were you doing at this time yesterday? I was either taking a shower or playing with Cooper, I can’t remember well. Have you done anything drastic to alter your physical appearance recently? No. I’m not the biggest fan of change, and that trickles down to my physical appearance. I like to stay where I am and only ever act on change if I get an extreme urge, like earlier this year when I got my bangs and had my hair cut all the way to my neck. Is there anything bothering you right now? Sadly there always is now. It’s gonna be lingering for a while and all I can do is wait it out. I hate not being in control of things, and that bothers me too.

Are you wearing shoes right now? No. No shoes are allowed beyond the first few steps from our front door.

How old were you in 2005? I was 7 and starting first grade. Pro-life/Pro-choice? Choice. Are you wearing anything purple? I guess some would consider it purple. My shorts are in the middle of being pink and purple, so I’m sure some level of confusion is bound to come up if people were to tell what color they think it is. Do you live east or west of the Mississippi River? I live very far away from it. Have you ever been to Chicago? No but it’s my favorite city in the US. If I had to go to the country one day, it has to be a trip to Chicago and nothing more. Do you drive a stick-shift? Nope. Never learned, not really willing to. Have you kissed anyone who's name started with A, K, M, or T? No. Do you have a sister? Yep, a younger one. Where are you right now? I’m in my room, at my desk.  Do you straighten your hair? Never. Not a good look on me. Do you have a gym membership? No. I’ve never been interested. Can you count to 10 in another language? Of course. Is there a calendar in the room you are in? There are digital ones on my phone and laptop, but I’ve never put up a physical calendar in my room. Is it possible you could be pregnant? Hah, not a chance. How long is it until your birthday? 7 months. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? I know one person in real life; the rest are celebrities. Was your mother married when she had you? Yeah, I was born less than a week before their first wedding anniversary. Would you ever go skinny dipping with your #1? **LASTS** What was the last thing you drank? I finished up the last few drops of my coffee from my mug last night. Last thing you ate? A pizza roll. I think I’m gonna be called for breakfast in a few minutes though. What was the last movie you watched in theaters? Knives Out, last December. I’ve been giving the same answer for months now lmao. I wish I can watch movies at the theatres again. What was the last thing you watched on tv? The evening news last Friday. That’s the only thing I watch on an actual TV these days. I prefer watching everything else on my phone or laptop now. Who was the last person to text you? Andrew. They checked up on me last night – I’m guessing they’ve noticed I’ve gone off the radar on all social media, so I appreciate the words they gave me. They made me feel present. Who was the last person to call you? My dad. I heated up water last night to make coffee but I didn’t want to keep waiting downstairs, so I told him I was gonna head to my room first and to just text me if the water’s all ready. He ended up calling my phone. 

Where was the last place you went? Bathroom, to take a shower. When did you last hang out with your 22nd phone contact? I have not seen him since March, and I think the last time we were together was at a local protest in my college. We’re not friends though so I think it’s too much to call it ‘hanging out’ lol. Our relationship was mostly professional. Who was the last person to comment you? I haven’t been on social media for a week or two now, so I no longer remember who commented on any of my statuses or tweets last. Ate Alyanna maybe? Aliyah? I really have no clue. When was the last time you kissed someone? Just a little less than a month ago. When was the last time you stayed out all night? 2017, I think? I enjoy staying up til like 2 or 3 AM, but pulling all-nighters just sounds like way too much. I like being able to catch up on sleep because not enough of it makes me cranky. When was the last time you went to Walmart? I’ve never been inside one. What is the last digit of your phone number? 5. When was the last time you were in the car for more than an hour? There was a short period last month where I’d go to my car and stay there for an hour or so whenever I started to feel especially distraught, so that I can have a good cry alone for as long as I want and be loud if I needed to. But I’m really glad it never developed into a full-blown habit and that I only did it a handful of times. Where was your last vacation to? It was a quick weekend trip rather than a vacation, but we went to Tagaytay and Cavite. Ugh, I reeeeeally miss going out of town... Who was the last person you rode in a car with? It’s been a while since I was in a car with anyone since I usually drive on my own and the only being I’ve been bringing with me is Cooper. I think the last people were my parents. When was the last time you had to be up before 7 AM? Two weeks ago for my job interview. I dunno if it’s right to say that I had to be up before 7 AM since the lockdown has greatly reduced the traffic in Manila and I didn’t need to get on the road super early to beat the traffic, but I still set my alarm to around 5:30 AM anyway because I like allotting several hours to prepare for things as important as that. Who was the last person(s) you took a photo with? I haven’t done that with anyone other than my dogs. My camera roll’s been devoid of other people for the past few months. When was the last time you saw your dad? Like half an hour ago. Why did you cry the last time you did? Because the sads had finally hit me and I started feeling worthless again. When was the last time someone gave you a compliment? Sometime last week. Apparently my mom and aunt got to talking about me and my new job and my aunt apparently complimented me on my chosen career field and said that I was a better fit for PR than journalism and broadcasting, which is what everyone in my family originally expected me to land in. That really means a lot, considering how much happier I am in this path.

When was the last time you locked your keys in the car/locked yourself out? I locked myself out sometime in late 2019, but it was because my key to the front door fell out of my keychain while I was in school and I never noticed :( What was the last thing you spent money on? We had Kimi trimmed and groomed the other day. When did you last see your #2? **FINISH THE SENTENCE** I should probably: Discover a new hobby that can help with my mental health and overall wellness. Crocheting? Baking? Working out? All sound good at the moment. We’ll see. When I can't sleep: I pick out a few YouTube videos to watch and keep me company until I start feeling sleepy. I need more: Happiness. Right now I would love: For things to settle back into normal again. I feel like I’m living in the middle of a nightmare. My last kiss was: A month ago. If I could, I would: Move and start anew somewhere else. When I'm pissed: I need to be alone so that I don’t end up accidentally exploding on someone who doesn’t deserve it. I am listening to: Rhett and Link trying unconventional dumplings. I never leave the house without: Phone, keys, wallet. I believe in: Gender equality, marriage equality, pay equality. Granting people their rights, basically. I am wearing: A shirt all the way from high school. I tend to daydream when: I’m bored and stuck somewhere I can’t leave, like a boring class lecture. My grandma is: They *are* amazing cooks. After this I am going to: Try to find another survey to take...or maybe find something in the pantry to eat because my stomach’s grumbling a bit, ha.

#surveys #survey

[tcm]

The Short Lived Career of Kay Kendall by Susan King

The 60th anniversary of the brilliant comic actress Kay Kendall’s death in September came and went very quietly. It saddened me. Kendall was a real breath of fresh air. A British version of Carole Lombard, Kendall was a beautiful, sophisticated and capable dramatic actress who turned into a slapstick goofball with the right material. And just like Lombard, who was 33 when she died in a plane crash in 1942, Kendall died young at just 32, after succumbing to myeloid leukemia.

“Miss Kendall was that stage and screen rarity, a beautiful clown,” the New York Times obit stated. “The talents of a superb comedienne are so seldom conjoined with statuesque, classic beauty that producers along with Miss Kendall’s hard road to the top tended to distrust her qualities as mutually exclusive.”

In fact, the self-deprecating, often insecure Kendall proclaimed after the release of her best film, 1957’s LES GIRLS, that she looked like a “female impersonator with these long skinny legs. I’m 5 feet [sic] 9. I eat like a horse and I couldn’t become a ballet dancer because I got too big. When I rose up on my toes, I was 10 feet 6 and my feet collapsed.”

Kendall affected those whom she knew and worked with including Mitzi Gaynor, who starred with her in LES GIRLS. In 2018, I was doing a Q&A with Gaynor at the TCL Chinese Theatre in Hollywood for the 60th anniversary of SOUTH PACIFIC and asked her about Kendall. She started to gush about how great Kendall was, but started getting misty-eyed thinking about her, so I quickly went back to the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical.

And I recall one time during an interview, a rather prickly Stanley Donen became effusive when I brought up Kendall, whom he directed in her last film ONCE MORE, WITH FEELING! (’60).

Kendall, who appeared in revues and variety shows as a teenager, got her first big movie role in 1946’s lavish LONDON TOWN, which was one of the British film industry's most expensive flops of the time. She was told by a film executive that she was “ugly, you have no talent. You’re too tall and you photograph badly. Go marry some nice man, settle down and have a nice family.”

She finally got the perfect role in the classic award-winning comedy GENEVIEVE, which was released in England in 1953. The comedy revolved around two young couples who participate annually in a vintage car rally from London to Brighton. John Gregson and Dinah Sheridan were the main stars with Kenneth More and Kendall as the supporting players.

Kendall stole the whole film as Rosalind Peters, More’s high-fashioned overly coiffed model girlfriend who is accompanied by her St. Bernard named Susie. The inventiveness of Kendall's performance, especially when a drunk Rosalind plays a trumpet at a nightclub, is as fresh and funny it was 66 years ago.

Her life changed forever when she made THE CONSTANT HUSBAND with Rex Harrison and released in 1955. And of course, there was a scandal. Though Harrison was married to Lili Palmer at the time, he had a notorious reputation as a womanizer (his affair with Carole Landis in the late 1940s lead to her committing suicide). But the two married in 1957 shortly after Harrison learned from Kendall’s doctor that she had two years to live. Harrison decided not to tell her she was dying, giving her the excuse that she had anemia. Kendall’s own prognosis was never revealed to her, as was common with patients of mortal illnesses in the 1950s. Harrison did tell some of her friends, however, but did not tell her family.

Kendall came to Hollywood to make the Cole Porter musical LES GIRLS, directed by George Cukor and starring Gene Kelly, Gaynor and Taina Elg. Kendall won a Golden Globe for her hysterical performance as the British performer who is being sued for libel by another chorus girl. Kendall and Harrison then starred together in a delightful bit of fluff, THE RELUCTANT DEBUTANTE (’58), directed by Vincente Minnelli. Though sometimes real-life couples have no chemistry together on screen, that wasn’t the case with Kendall and Harrison. Not only do they have chemistry to spare, Harrison even seems to take a back seat in the proceedings and let his wife shine.

In the biography, The Brief, Madcap Life of Kay Kendall by Eve Golden and Kim Kendall, Minnelli’s wife Lee remembered that Kendall and Harrison “were wonderful together. He adored her. You could see when he looked at her, his eyes lit up. They balanced each other perfectly – they played off of each together.” She also noted, “if [Kay] came into a room, she had all laughing in five minutes. Even if you felt a little down, you talked to Kay and by the time you left you were floating, you were up in the air.” 

According to the book, by 1958 Kendall was “finding it more difficult to play innocent about her physical condition…Kay was not a stupid woman, and no one can be that sick for that long without knowing something is seriously wrong.” She even told her good friend Dirk Bogarde, who knew she was ill. “Diggy, I think I am dying. I've some terrible disease and they won’t tell me. I think I’ve got cancer.” Bogarde kept his promise to Harrison and tried to laugh off her fears.

By the time she filmed ONCE MORE, WITH FEELING! with Yul Brynner, she was frail. She eventually collapsed during filming and was hospitalized, with Harrison stating that she had a lung infection and anemia. After she sufficiently recovered, Kendall managed to finish the film. After going on a vacation with Harrison, she returned to London and entered a clinic where she died a week later. Even on her death bed, Harrison never told of the leukemia. According to to her biography, Kendall looked at Harrison and asked, “Mousey, you would tell me if I was dying?” To which he replied, “Don’t be stupid, of course I would. You’re not dying.” Shortly after, she sank into a coma. The press account of her last moments was highly romantic, with Kay sighing to Harrison, “’I love you very much, darling’ with her last breath.” ONCE MORE, WITH FEELING! opened in February 1960. And Bosley Crowther in the New York Times was disappointed Kendall’s swan song wasn’t better. “As for poor Miss Kendall (who has died since this picture was made), she works hard to be disagreeable, to virtually no avail. She screeches and fluffs up her feathers, throws things and breaks television sets, but only succeeds in being feverish. Lacking that obvious essential, she is merely fragile and sad. It is certainly too bad her last picture has to be as vapid as this.” But nearly 60 years after the film release, Kendall’s performance still has traces of manic brilliance and leaves you wondering what she would have done had she had lived.

#Kay Kendall #The Reluctant Debutante #Rex Harrison #TCM #Turner Classic Movies #Susan King #comedienne #actress #Dirk Bogarde

[cam-rowe]

Camille Rowe: « I would have loved to act in Kill Bill »

« Clara Bow... Why do I have Clara Bow’s name in my head when I think about Camille Rowe ? » The author and journalist, Simon Liberati, tells us the story of how he met the French-American actress and model, Camille Rowe.

Because I’m an old man, and because of age, I mix up pre-war actress with today’s It girls. One hundred years later, no one knows the name of Clara Bow, the first it girl (the name was invented for her). Blonde with big blue eyes, she was the queen of Hollywood, she shared lovers with her enemy Marion Davies, the other blonde with big blue eyes, mistress of Randolph Hearst and a castle on the side of Lower Topanga, the Spiral Staircase where the Manson family lived. I think of those girls because Camille Rowe reminds me of Tarantino, she should film with him, it would suit her. 

In the meantime, Camille Rowe has just played a role in a choral film inspired by the work of Anna Gavalda: ‘I wish someone was waiting for me somewhere (j’aimerai que quelqu’un m’attende quelque part).’ A movie by Arnaud Viard, with Jean-Paul Rouve and Alice Taglioni. An hour and half long feature film. It’s a very moving film where you can see her with a beanie, red nose and wet eyes because she cries a lot. Some directors are really into giving roles of morose girls who are not really boring, but «Annagavaldian » which mean not really funny to models and it girls. 

I remember Abel Ferrara’s movie, ‘The Blackout’ where the poor Claudia Schiffer gave the line to Beatrice Dalle in a psycho-rigid version. At the time an article from France Dimanche or d’ici Paris kind of cruelly recounted Claudia’s troubles with Abel. 

I don't think the shooting of Arnaud Viard was that chaotic. Camille Rowe plays the role of Jean-Paul Rouve’s little sister, a frustrated theatre actor who became a wine merchant and soon committed suicide, who pays her, her fantasies of art photography. He lends her 10.000€ so she can do her project of the moment with Diane Arbus (she likes deformed people) all in Dijon. Then Jean-Paul Rouve dies of love for Elsa Zylleberstein (an actress who have cancer) and then Camille finds herself crying for a good forty minutes with the rest of the family (choral). 

When I was able to reach Camille Rowe on her cell phone while she was shooting with Jen Eymere for the cover of L'Officiel, the first question I was dying to ask her was: "What were you thinking about that was so sad that you could cry for 40 minutes over Jean-Paul Rouve's death?" "As it is a... melodrama, we often kept the first takes. So it wasn't hours of tears a day either. I was thinking about a traumatic event that happened to me, so I kept the after-effects long after the three weeks of shooting [sinister laugh]. I promised myself I'd never do it again. The worst thing is that in my life I'm the kind of person who cries easily..." 

Yet Camille Chrystal Pourcheresse, better known as Camille Rowe, is a French- American model and actress born on January 7, 1990. She is 30 years old. The beautiful age... Daughter of a prosperous restaurateur, she had, according to Wikipedia, a happy childhood "in a favoured district of the capital". When I went to look for her photos on the Internet, I told myself that I knew her face. Magnificent blue eyes spread apart, huge mouth, curious nose a bit too big, a bit wet, a bit charming (like Anatole France) sublime breasts, thin thighs... Californian style. Hair beach blond surf and warm sand... I know this face maybe from the Baron or Montana, from a Purple dinner or from the Cora cafeteria in Soissons (where I live), I didn't dare to ask her... When L'Officiel commissioned the portrait I'm trying to write, I didn't really feel like it, I was in a deplorable mood, retyping a book that was already more or less a failure, Prayers Answered, whose title I stole from Truman Capote who in exchange sent me a spell, but I always tell myself that things come from encounters, even furtive ones, ordered with a frame... a 10- minute interview on the phone can get me out of the slump. I'll call her at 1:00. 

The voice is really lovely. Not too charming, not manicured, not dragging, not grunge, but open ... She tells me that she's walking down the street to go to the shooting and I already regret having had the laziness to walk a hundred kilometres in traffic jams to meet her. I've heard many voices in sixty years, few so open... Nothing to do with the idea I had of her, coming from a mix of Wikipedia, articles by Elle and photographs by Terry Richardson where she was sticking her tongue out in an old Purple from ten years ago. I also have a 2018 César box set with ‘Rock'n'roll’ by Guillaume Canet but I have to admit that I forgot the content of this film except that Marion Cotillard is trying to learn the Canadian accent. Hence my second question ... I read (in Glamour? in Elle? in the UGC press kit?) that Camille Rowe had a hard time losing her French-American accent to play a choral film. 

the banks of the Saône. It's true that we can't imagine Jean-Paul Rouve's sister speaking with the accent of Laurel Canyon and Linda Hardy.

- “It's not a question of accent but of intonation. It comes out when I'm speaking in a group, when I'm expressing emotions... At first, it didn't really fit with Dijon.” 

- “I can assure you that you can't hear anything...”

- “Thank you [happy laugh], that means I've done a good job so.”

 - “Did you like Dijon?”

 - “Yes, I loved it. There's a lot of wineries there. My boyfriend and I went for a walk and tasted some good wines.”

It's true that she doesn't look like she's sucking ice cream. Not a drunk, no... but a well-to-do person, as they say in the press. The blur in the eyes, the wet nose and the infectious laughter can make you think that... Kind of like Romy Schneider. The comparison is not infamous. Clara Bow didn't spit on a drink either... The stupid question now that I've stolen from an old issue of Miss Tender-Aged... 

- “Camille, ideally, what role would you have liked to play in the cinema?” 

- “The movie I really would have liked to play in is Kill Bill.”

I was right to think of Tarantino, Camille Rowe has a Margot Robbie side to her as Sharon Tate... Something joyful, Californian, uncomplicated and a little attracted by evil at the same time... 

- “In the film, you photograph deformed people. In life are you a fan of Diane Arbus?” 

- “As for art, I prefer painting. I am not a fan of photography. On the other hand, I like horror films... Otherwise, I'm quite interested in serial killers...”

An opening? I don't believe it. I read (on Wikipedia?) that she likes old David Cronenberg... So we quote some movies... If I had come instead of phoning her, I could have told her that I spent several evenings with Cronenberg in Geneva in November (his daughter is a photographer too) and that he has a great sound system on his iPhone that allows him to listen to or zap people depending on whether they are sitting in front of him, on the left or on the right... 

- “You'll never guess what they're doing to my makeup while I'm talking to you... They're scraping scabs off my nose.”

That girl is really charming... Rowe power... Only good-looking people talk about this kind of stuff. 

- “Do you have plans?”

- “Yes, a Canadian sci-fi film... And an English film...”

- “Your first role? - When I was 12 at school in Edmond Rostand's Chantecler, I played a chicken... A mean chicken. I liked that [sinister laugh].”

Rowe-power got a magic touch. 

-

(CREDIT FOR TRANSLATION: kareninapetrova)

#camille rowe #interview #translation #l'officiel paris #magazine

[monikea]

Norma Jeane Baker of Troy

[Disclaimer: this is not a review. I’m not a reviewer and have no idea how to write these; this is just a note to myself that I will be able to read when I’m 60 years old and which I share here, as paper might burn but the Internet never forgets :D]

Norma Jeane Baker of Troy, The Shed, NYC, 12-19 May 2019

New scene

Enter Ben Whishaw as Norma Jeane Baker

I’m not sure what to focus on here – the play or the fact that I FINALLY WENT TO NEW YORK. This past week was so full of, well, everything to me. I always dreamt of leaving Europe for a trip, but only recently managed to save money for that. I have been tremendously sad not to be able to see Ben in ‘The Crucible’, to the point that during the last show I sat on a beach in Spain and couldn’t focus on how lucky I was to be on a beach in Spain – all I wanted was to be in the Walter Kerr Theatre.

The funny thing is, if I were now to choose between ‘The Crucible’ (I saw a recording of it in NY Public Library last week) and NJBoT, I’d choose Norma Jeane without thinking twice. I saw this play 7 times in a row which, I think, speaks for itself.

In the end, I was so lucky as to go to NYC for 10 days with my Ben family, as I like to think of them, people who I know from Ben’s Facebook fan group. I will never take it for granted and it wouldn’t have been the same without them. To go to New York, for over a week, with my best friends, to see Ben Whishaw 7 times in a mind-blowing play – I still don’t know what I did to deserve it. I won’t name them here, as I’m not sure they wish to be mentioned, but one of them kindly offered to host some of us, and I was even more lucky to stay in a real Manhattan flat. In all fairness, this is what made the entire trip possible – or at least what made seeing Ben 7 times in a row from up close possible!

The pace was rather insane. Last time I slept so little was 10 years ago when I went on a summer camp to Portugal, where I was going to sleep at 6am and waking up at 8am to go to work. Just being in New York didn’t allow me to rest. Finally, after so many years of hoping, I was in the city of my dreams, a city where I could name all the buildings and streets without ever being there, just because everyone does know them right? After all, we are being bombarded with images of New York through different movies, series, songs, books. And this place actually does exist and is not just a Hollywood creation. We started every day bright and early (thanks to the time difference it felt like waking up at 12pm) and went off to see the city. Then, every night, we took subway 7 to Hudson Yards to go to The Shed. The only night we didn’t do it was Monday, when there were simply no performances – but trust me I’d have gone if they took place.

That’s enough about Fritz Lang and the city.

The first time we saw the play (12 May) I sat very far, I believe it was the 4th row from the back. Since I then saw it 6 more times, it wasn’t a massive loss, but overall I’d say two things: 1/this play had to be seen from close up, as the lightning was so dim, otherwise you wouldn’t see what happened on the stage and 2/ this play had to be seen multiple times. I truly believe seeing it just once wasn’t enough. It wasn’t like Shakespeare that everyone kind of knows and knows what to expect. I like to compare this play to Hamilton, which is my obsession number 2 (after Ben), where the text is so rich and full of references and innuendos, that it is actually best to come see the show already knowing the lyrics and backstory from listening to the soundtrack. Same happened here, the language or the text worked alongside the actors and I think if you just saw the play once, it wouldn’t make much sense and you’d miss a lot of its beauty. I was already familiar with the story of Marilyn before seeing it (although I did some extra research, read Euripides’ ‘Helen’ etc.), but I heard some people didn’t even know that Marilyn’s real name was Norma Jeane – good luck with that! Anyway, I digress. As we sat very far, I remember I had to lean forward and really strain my eyes to see what was happening. I could barely notice Ben painting his fingernails (it was more that I already heard he was doing it, which made me notice – otherwise it was too dark to see!) or couldn’t get the details of his lingerie or dance. The sound wasn’t bad, but I’d say in this play the visuals are equally important and I completely missed that part. So I spent the first performance pretty much hoping that the next one – where I was supposed to sit closer – would already come.

About 30 minutes after the show has finished, we spotted Ben coming down the escalator. We actually chose deliberately to go on that day (12 May) as that’s when we expected (and weren’t wrong 😉) that he’d win a BAFTA for his performance as Norman Scott (Norma, Norman… his best roles, trust me) in A Very English Scandal. He was alone and about to leave the theatre, but had a while for us – we congratulated him on the BAFTA, to which he just said ‘thank you’ (I’m quite sure he himself got to know about it only minutes beforehand) and then I talked to him about NJBoT, which was the first time that I managed to talk to him about the show at hand. All the previous times I met Ben, I was talking to him about his previous shows or just telling him general thanks. I don’t remember exactly what I said that Sunday, but it surprised me that I managed to say something about Norma. Most importantly, I asked if I can hug him and he just said ‘sure’ and my biggest dream came true and I hugged Ben for a while . He is the sweetest, kindest human being and has so much patience for his fans.

For the second performance, in the end with my friend we decided to exchange seats for even closer ones, as we didn’t want to go through the pain of seeing so little again. Oh Greek gods, what a difference did it make. I finally saw what was happening on stage! On Tuesday it still wasn’t the 1st or 2nd row, so couldn’t see Ben’s face very well, but oh my. I suppose here I will start my general thoughts about the play, irrespective of the day I saw it, as from Wednesday onwards I was sitting pretty much always in the 2nd or 1st row (just once – will get back to that). If I were to describe all remaining 6 performances in detail, this would become a book, not a Tumblr note and not sure anyone would even read it!

This play was everything my poor heart could hope for. Ben finally plays the main role (which is even more prominent since there are only 2 actors on the stage) and there is nothing to take your attention away from him. Renée only emphasizes his powerful presence on stage and in fact one of my impressions after seeing the play and having read it was that they both play the same person. After all, Norma says ‘I am my own chorus’ – and Renée was her chorus. Reflecting her/his thoughts (I will continue using the pronoun ‘his’ as in the text the character is designated as Norma Jeane, but on stage I think Ben played a male playwright, who only gradually becomes Norma), never negating anything, but giving him new ideas, as if they were formed in his brain and took a tangible form as Renée. I think there can be many interpretations here, but I particularly like this one, also because in the text of the play only one character is mentioned – Norma Jeane. Renée’s character isn’t mentioned anywhere in the text and was obviously added just to make it more stage friendly. It was really hard for me to take my eyes away from Ben throughout the play, but when I finally managed to do it, it was amazing to see how they exchanged looks and this interplay of emotions was what made it even more amazing.

The play tells a story of a playwright who creates a replica of Marilyn Monroe out of himself – both visually and mentally. He is mourning her and hires a scribe to write down his stream of consciousness about Norma Jeane. He gradually drops his own male clothes to put on the entire Marilyn attire, which is a beautiful… replica of what was worn back in the 50s (the longline peach corselette and matching panty girdle – not for the faint hearted!) together with Marilyn’s white fluffy mule heels, later on changed to her Seven Year Itch strappy sandals and the iconic white dress (there is an additional layer of white underwear that Ben puts on the girdle); ultimately he wears also the platinum white Marilyn wig. On the mental side, he gradually descends into the depths of Hades and ultimately kills himself, like Marilyn did. In the meantime, he plays ukulele (just like Marilyn), has numerous mental breakdowns, perfectly imitates her delicate dreamy voice (and that of Truman Capote), mocks Arthur Miller’s dimpled white buttocks and dances the entire sequence from ‘The Prince and the Showgirl’ (see here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOkv4jV1-Bo) – more about that dance later on. One remark here – this play spoke so much to me because since I remember I always took style inspiration from my favourite bands and later on actors – even now I proudly wear my black Kanken, inspired by Ben. So yes, I completely understand Ben’s character here. He also adds the breasts, hips and bum padding underneath his lingerie (and moves like a ballerina) and here I must brag, but a kind message to all people who LAUGHED mockingly at it – please go back to primary school and… just stay there. There are two actors, who, in case you don’t realise are real people and laughing off at what they do onstage is just horrible. In case you laughed out of embarrassment, fine, I get that not everyone has to be comfortable with Ben Whishaw applying fake butt under his undies, but for god’s sake, please express it differently than by laughing and commenting. Or laugh internally. Or I don’t know. Good lord. And no, that wasn’t a moment which was supposed to make you laugh, like for example Ben imitating Capote’s voice.

There is this beautiful moment, about 30 mins after the show begins when Ben plays the ukulele and sings ‘I am that Persephone, Who played with her darlings in Sicily, Against a background of social security. Oh what a glorious time we had. Or had we not? They said it was sad. I was born good, grown bad.And isn’t that how it always starts, this myth that ends with the girl ‘grown bad’?, and Renée continues: ‘She’s in a meadow gathering flowers twirling her own small sunny hours’. (I might be a barbarian, but I truly don’t understand people who were like – wow, he dared sing on the same stage as Renée Fleming! – I am a newborn Renée Fleming fan, but come on people. He’s Ben Goddamn Whishaw :D). Suddenly the mood changes dramatically, when everything becomes dark and Ben says in a sinister voice ‘When up rides a man on black horses. Up rides a man in a black hat. Up rides a man with a black letter to deliver’… I don’t know how he does it but in this moment I see Hades in a black robe (yet Ben is still in his peach corset) who came to do something unforgivable. The entire story changes then, when Renée exclaims ‘rape’. ‘Rape is the story of Helen, Persephone, Norma Jeane, Troy’ they continue. Renée then sings ‘War is the context and God is a boy. Oh my darlings, they tell you you’re born with a precious pearl. Truth is, it’s a disaster to be a girl. Up came the black horses and the dark King. And the harsh sunshine was as if it had never been. In the halls of Hades they said I was queen’. That’s what they always say, isn’t it?

She sings it again just at the end of the play when Ben’s Norma Jeane dies and at that point I wasn’t crying, I was ejecting bodily fluids. Apologies to those sitting around me.

Back to Ben’s dance. This play is full of what in Polish I’d call ‘smaczki’ – little flavours that make this play the most tasty dish ever served. Ben’s voice changes, whenever he imitates someone; Renée’s gorgeous singing; the music which was composed uniquely of Renée’s mixed voice; the funny moments, which can so suddenly and unexpectedly turn into the most frightening scene, when in the middle of mocking Arthur of New York and Sparta, a phone rings and everyone is terrified. There’s an enormous amount of language play (language is a third actor on the stage, with gorgeous explanations of the etymology of Greek words – in fact, Ben has an English-Greek dictionary on the desk), there’s Ben playing ukulele and singing, there’s putting on makeup, there’s changing clothes, there’s shouting and throwing things around and then there’s the dance.

My god what Ben can do. WHAT THIS MAN CAN DO. He is so ethereal, lithe, yet with well-toned muscles and he suddenly starts to give this beautiful coy dance, where throughout he hides his face in charming embarrassment and smiles sweetly to Renée. This is one of the moments when I am almost angry that I have to translate my soul, as it would be so much easier to find perfect words for this in Polish, but at least my head is full of them. Writing about this dance (or this play) is anyway as futile as dancing about architecture. Ben looks perfect then, he is just perfection personified. With his little smile, his peach corselette (some other note here on Tumblr said that ‘Ben Whishaw should just exist in this corset’ and yes, he should), his bottle green male pants and the fluffy heels (the connection of the female corselette and the male suit pants is just… send firemen). On top of that, Renée sings like an angel and my brain is so overstimulated from listening to all those language games and being in New York to actually experience it that… (where are the firemen?!)…

But the thing is – and that’s why this play is so amazing – that when you actually find the superhuman power in yourself not to focus on Ben’s dance only, but to also listen to the song they play to it, your brain suddenly registers that something doesn’t fully stick – the music is super cheerful (note: it is not the same music as the one in Marilyn’s video from ‘The Prince and the Showgirl’) – it’s a typical 50s song with blurred voices, but the text is rather morose and it goes like ‘Dirt is matter out of place, matter out of place. A poached egg on your plate at breakfast is not dirt. The poached egg on page 202 of the Greek lexicon in the library of the British Museum is dirt. Dirt is something that has crossed a boundary it ought not to have crossed. Dirt confuses categories and mixes up form’ (I researched a bit and there’s an entire book on this topic, ‘Purity and Danger’ by Mary Douglas, where the main point being analysed is that what is regarded as dirt in a given spot is any matter out of place. What was considered clean in Sparta, wasn’t clean in Troy and vice versa. That’s the gist. Anne Carson I love you.)

Noone cries like Ben Whishaw. It really hurts all parts of my body to watch this. And it is so beautiful to watch Renée being concerned about him and the state he found himself in. One of the most beautiful scenes in the play is when Ben sits down at his desk and Renée very delicately takes his head in her hand and applies the fake eyelashes to his eyes, singing in a way that makes my heart break. There is so much love in this scene and acceptance and will of help and saying: I’m here for you and I will go with you on this journey.

And then suddenly you see he starts to take the pills and swallowing them with the fake theatre champagne and that’s when I start ejecting bodily fluids again. Renée comes back with her ‘Up came the black horses and the dark King. And the harsh sunshine was as if it had never been. In the halls of Hades they said I was queen’.

I suppose this text I wrote now will never be finished as memories and new realisations will keep on coming back to me and that’s where the beauty of this play lies – it’s an endless fishing ground for references and innuendos, interpretations and new things to be understood. But, enough for now.

I talked to Ben 3 more times after the play, on 14, 17 and 19 May. I now barely remember what I said precisely, but on Tuesday I told him how utterly enchanted I am by this play and that it talks about so many important things to me and doesn’t seem strange at all. Sunday was mad, as one can expect after the end of a run, with a long queue of fans (I gave Ben bright red roses, thanked him for the umpteenth time and complimented his new shirt, which he bought on Friday – don’t ask how I know it, I’m just a very careful observer LOL. He is my style guru, so I had to haha). With my friend we even managed to chat to the CEO of The Shed, Alex Poots, who was so amazed that we saw Norma Jeane 7 times, that he took out his iPhone and asked us to record a video where we recommend the show (bit late for that on the last night, but he can rest assured that I will be back!).

But Friday was just something else. Perhaps it was the power of red wine or the fact that Ben was going home alone and not with Mark or friends, but we approached him together with quite a few other fans and I swear to god, we had the funniest ever chat with him. To put it briefly, Ben was surrounded by around 10-15 fans and chatting to us in a very lovely, cheeky way (I love his sense of humour. I love everything about him, but that night it was just too much). Like imagine it. Someone asked him ‘Ben, what is the perfume that you wear?’ and he goes ‘Oh, it’s this, wait, I’ll show you’ and he took the perfume out of his tote bag and demonstrated it to everyone, gaining a round of ‘Awwwwwwww’. I still can’t believe it happened haha. One of my friends asked if he saw and liked Bjork and they chatted a bit about it and then Ben asked us if we did see her too, to which I replied ‘no, because we saw ANOTHER SHOW’. I could see that he was thinking and then suddenly it clicked, but I guess by that time he was perfectly aware that some of us saw it 7 times haha. He also told us ‘Don’t sit again in the first row, I can see you all’ (that’s what I meant when I said I will get back to the issue of sitting in the 1st row :D). Sweet lord. Best week of my life.

Exeunt omnes singing.

#normajeanebakeroftroy #BenWhishaw #reneefleming #theshed #nyc #annecarson #marilynmonroe #arthurmiller #helenoftroy #persephone

[twodudesandamovie]

Brokeback Mountain Review

In lights of the recent Academy Awards, Eric nominated one of the more famous Oscar snubs in Brokeback mountain. Both Alex and Eric also were interested in how we look at LGBTQIA+ movies today as opposed to 15 years ago. Among the things discussed post-review were how Brokeback Mountain wouldn’t be controversial today, and how it was really a common love story with a twist.  Alex's Review: With ample amounts of dread, I dove into this over two hour long Lil Nas X origin story. Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger's characters seem to have no real jobs and instead aimlessly move sheep from Point A to Point B for no fucking reason and get paid for it. I guess maybe this is what being a cowboy entailed, but I assumed you became noted as a cowboy by your big hat combined with a denim jacket/jeans. Who could say really. Their relationship starts out on a confusing note, where you feel uncomfortable as to the willingness of both parties, but eventually you get to see a very complicated narrative form about what it was like to be secretly gay in 1963. The parts of the film that involve herding sheep are actually very entertaining, to have a peek into a lifestyle of a man who has to be able to pick up an entire sheep. I do not want or think I will ever need that ability, but I digress. The movie itself, although dreadfully long, hit on a lot of complicated emotions. Trying to follow three or more unsuccessful relationships throughout the course of the movie felt emotionally taxing at times, but not necessarily in a way that I could not relate to. At the end of the day, it sort of is just a complicated love story, but with a twist on it. Not unheard of in film, but I've never had to experience it told in this form. Usually, there's a "taking two girls to the same dance" kind of humor to it all. Eric and I talked about how we were interested to see the movie post 2005, where the stigma of homosexuality is no longer prevalent in society. That being said, the movie felt like its overall message was sort of missed, if it actually had a message. However, the movie's goal to hit me on an emotional level was extremely successful. I went from not caring about the characters and very confused about the purpose of their work or why they could not foster a single healthy relationship, I ended being surprised I had somehow burnt through 135 minutes and very sad Jake and Heath did not get to live their best lives. Although I think it was a actually a REALLY good movie on a lot of levels, I wouldn't say I necessarily enjoyed the film. It is surely the highest rated movie on Rotten Tomatoes I have seen in the past decade that is not a comedy or animated, the entire sentiment was sort of lost on me, because in 2020, the year of our lord, I now have shame that I am straight. Funny how time works. Alex's rating: 7/10

Eric’s Review: Growing up, Brokeback Mountain was of course known as “the gay cowboy movie.” Looking back, that summary was so minimizing for a movie of this excellence, but that’s what 14-year-old me knew it as. That shortsighted synopsis carried with me to this day, I’m not proud of it, but that’s what it stuck in my head as. It generated tons of controversy when it came out in 2005. Primordial fuck-noodles like Rush Limbaugh and Don Imus weren’t short on homophobic remarks of Brokeback, and the owner of the Utah Jazz even pulled it from his movie theatre’s. Every conservative with a mouth cavity couldn’t contain their uproar. Then it was snubbed at the Oscars. Crash won Best Picture instead of Brokeback Mountain, it shouldn’t have hurt this movie’s legacy, but it did. Crash seems more deeply-ingrained in my memory than Brokeback Mountain, and maybe because society at that time wasn’t ready for a movie quite like this. We put it in a box and never let it out. After watching, I deeply felt that it didn’t matter what Jack or Ennis’ sexual orientation’s were (as it shouldn’t), it was a love story about two exceedingly lonely human’s trapped in a society that wouldn’t accept them. Fast-forward 30-40 years from when the movie was set, and it didn’t seem like much had changed. I don’t think Crash deserved Best Picture over Brokeback Mountain, but am I angry that it happened? Not really. Awards are decided by those that vote on them (no shit), and that particular group of people felt Crash was the better movie. C’est la vie. I usually don’t enjoy dwelling on plot in my reviews but I owe it to the reader to say what this movie is about since so many people refer to it as “the gay cowboy movie.” Two men, Jack Twist (played by Jake Gylenhaal) and Ennis Del Ray (played by Heath Ledger), show up at a trailer in Wyoming asking for work for the summer. A jack-of-all-trades (including being a jackass) named Joe needs someone to keep an eye on his sheep for him up in Brokeback Mountain, so he sends them up there to do so with a horse, some guns, and some cans of beans. As they spend time on the scenic heart-swelling Brokeback Mountain, they fall in love. But it’s the early 60s, and as they prepare to go back down the mountain, they know they can’t carry out their romance in the narrow-minded rural landscape of their country towns. As Ennis points out, people get killed for that. This act ends in Jack and Ennis having a fist fight, as emotionally repressed men tend to do. Focus-in on blood Jack gets on his shirt and save this for later. Post-tryst, Ennis gets married and Jack is a rodeo boy making passes at bull-tamers. But then Ennis gets a postcard one day. The screenplay does a wonderful job seamlessly transitioning time as they carry out their romance over the years. They’d tell their wives they were going on “fishing trips,” when they were really going to the mountains for some whiskey and love-making. We can tell Ennis truly does love his wife Alma (played by Michelle Williams) at the start of their relationship. They have two kids, but the kids cause quite a strain on their marriage. And as the years go by, Ennis’ commitment issues due to his parents abandoning him as a child rear their ugly head. Jack marries a fellow rodeo girl in Texas named Laureen (played by Anne Hathaway), but their relationship is more of a business transaction. She approaches him to engage in some tumbleweed-rodeo-secks. She just wants a kid and a husband to help in the machinery business. This is okay with Jack and their marriage lasts, even with Jack’s infidelities. Ennis’ doesn’t. Alma knows about Ennis and Jack’s relationship and they grow apart over the years. Ennis’ commitment issues aren’t exclusive to Alma, though. As the film progresses, we see he applied this to every relationship in his life: his future girlfriend, his daughter’s, and even Jack. It’s why their relationship ultimately fails. Jack had dreams of living in the Wyoming country and being a cattle rancher with Ennis, but Ennis often laughed at the notion. Ennis remembers a time when his dad showed him a dead body of a gay man beaten to death. It’s hard to say if he’s ashamed of their relationship, or just scared. Even when he breaks down to Jack and exclaims: “YOU MADE ME LIKE THIS!” The audience knows he doesn’t really mean it, he’s just a scared Wyoming cowboy with commitment issues. The last act starts with Ennis attempting to mail Jack a postcard, as that’s how they used to communicate (I really do love how much more romantic a postcard or a letter can be than a text), he gets a return to sender that says “deceased.” Ennis calls Laureen and talks to her for the first time in his life. She knows he was one of Jack’s lover’s and seems slightly annoyed but at peace with it. She gives him a bogus story about how a tire popped and Jack drowned in his own blood, but Ennis knows he was beaten to death for being gay. His whole bitter-tough-cowboy facade crumbles, as it only could with Jack, and Ennis and Laureen have an honest moment reminiscing over the man they both loved. We could tell Laureen’s relationship with Jack was no longer transactional, as they aged together and learned to love each other. She tells Ennis he was cremated and that Jack always wanted his ashes scattered on Brokeback Mountain, and that he should go visit his parents. When Ennis arrives, we immediately know the family dynamic: Jack had a typical tough-exterior-tobacco-spitting farmer dad, but a sweet gentle mom where Jack may have gotten the familial love and understanding that Ennis never got. He used to tell his dad that he wanted to buy a home near him with Ennis and help with the ranch. Even through the dad’s tough exterior and his insistence on Jack’s ashes being scattered at the family plot and not at Brokeback Mountain, we can tell he’s truly a father who misses his son. There is something fragile to him, something so melancholy that it expels a grieving scent throughout the home. Jack’s mom tells Ennis that she left his room as it was when he was a child. Ennis goes up there in the most heartbreaking scene of the movie, and sees Jack’s roots. Then he wanders over to the closet and finds the shirt Jack was wearing the last day they were on Brokeback Mountain. The blood from their fight is still on the sleeve. It’s a symbol of how Ennis pushed away everyone he’s ever loved, but especially Jack, the love of his life and only one who ever truly understood him. He takes the shirt, not only as a memorial to Jack, but as a reminder of how he’s treated his loved ones in his life. In the last scene, Ennis’ daughter visits him. Previously, we learned Ennis was largely absent from her life. Ennis doesn’t even know who she’s currently dating when she visits him, and then she tells him she’s getting married. At first, Ennis wants to cling to his cold exterior, the shell it seems he’s reverted into even more since Jack’s death. But we see him finally shed this shell, as he tells his daughter he’ll be at the wedding. Maybe he heard Jack’s voice in his head reminding him to be a bit more brave, as after Ennis’ daughter leaves, he walks over to his dresser where Jack’s bloody shirt hangs. Cut to credits and let me cry. The first point that caught my eye about directorial choices in this movie was the stark juxtaposition of the dream-like Wyoming mountains and the depressing domestication of Wyoming and Texas rural home-life. The resplendent colors we see in the mountains and the off-whites and browns we see in Wyoming and Texas are purposeful and are painted with sincere artistry. Ang Lee had a balloon and he grabbed it with his gentle directorial touch then smeared it with peanut butter and sent it off into the clouds. The acting was downright phenomenal. I believe this was the first movie where Heath Ledger was taken seriously as an actor and not a Hollywood heartthrob. It was pre-Dark Knight and he may have never gotten that role if it weren’t for this movie. I know I pointed it out in my Little Women review, but the talent it takes to change your accent like that is befuddling. Ledger is Australian and is talking in a down-home Wyoming drawl. His portrayal of Ennis is the beating heart of this movie. I’d like to say he was a strong and silent type, but really he was weak and silent, sort of a metaphor for the way our society treated sexuality back then. I could review each actor’s performance, but the truth is: it was utterly superb all around. Only with this kind of acting and screenwriting can a movie achieve such character depth and nuance. Rating: 9.5/10. One of the best film’s of the twenty-first century. Did this deserve the Oscar over Crash? Fuck yes it did. I liked Crash but it wasn’t the all-around masterpiece Brokeback Mountain was. It’s also insane to think how far LGBTQ+ has come in 15 years, as I think Brokeback Mountain wouldn’t even be close to as controversial today as it was back then. Do I think it might’ve won the Oscar? Probably not. The academy hasn’t evolved much since then. R.I.P. Heath Ledger too, it was so sad watching a deceased actor at the top of his talent in one of his best roles. 

#brokeback mountain #heath ledger #jake gylenhall #anne hathaway #michelle williams #wyoming #texas #cowboy #lgbtq #lgbtqiia+ #rodeo #oscars #academy awards #crash

[letamreviews]

Top of 2019

With 56 films watched and 27 favorited in 2019, I composed a list of my top. By pure happenstance, the list is almost an exact third (18) of the total films watched. Be aware that I don’t have as much to say about some of these because I took no notes after.

Because I’d be biased towards them, I don’t count the National Theatre Live plays.

Since the list is likely to be altered between now and the end of February (to accommodate for films missed), check the Lettboxd list later on to see an up to date listing, but be aware that it intentionally lacks the details provided here.

EDIT (01/04/20):

Woke up this morning religiously re-reading this and caught some grammar errors. It’s almost like staying consistently well-rested is actually beneficial. While I’m at it, Blind Rating (BR) is how worthwhile the film is watching “blind” (or knowing nothing). The scale is 1 (worth it) to 5 (you must). ‘Eh is essentially a 0.5.

1. Midsommar (USA)

Saw the original and Director's Cut in theatres and discussed them with a group immediately after both times. I’m somewhere between really liking it and loving it. Still unsure. Hell of an experience with a lot to notice, debate over, and pick up on during the second viewing. Don’t even get me started on the Christian/Dani matter. Dat tension, tho. Blind Rating: 4/5

2. Us (USA)

Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. I’m digging the allegories and the way (I think) it reflects on society. Dem reveals, tho. Blind Rating: 4/5

3. Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am (USA)

Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. Two things probably play a huge hand in this not being atleast 3 spots lower: my demographic and the fact that her older self constantly reminded me of my grandma and a certain middle school teacher. Regardless, it’s an entertaining, interesting, and lively documentary with its many personalities on-screen all giving their take on matters along with Ms. Morrison herself. Glad they managed to finish and release this 1.25 months before her death. Blind Rating: 0/5

4. When They See Us (USA)

Saw on Netflix over the course of a month. Y’all, this one hurt too much to watch again any time soon. Admittedly, part of the reason why it hit me so hard is because I could easily have been one of them. Dat ending, tho. Don’t forget to watch the Oprah followup When They See Us Now after. You’ll ball (again). Blind Rating: 3/5

5. Parasite (South Korea)

Saw an advance screening in theatres and watched a live post-film Q&A. I really like it. This hit me in such a way that it’s one of three films I’m writing an essay on. Planing on watching it a second time soon so I can finish with a sense of accuracy. This isn’t one that I would recommend looking at images for. There are some that will spoil the experience of the second half. Seriously, block the “Parasite” tag from your feed if you can. Blind Rating: 3/5

6. Luce (USA)

Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. This was is so~ good as a thriller and especially in regards to being Black in America. Wanted to watch it a second time but never managed to squeeze it in before it left theatres. Dem performances, tho. Dat tension, yo. Dat score, bro. Blind Rating: 1/5

7. Them That Follow (USA)

Saw in theatres and discussed with someone immediately after. I love it. Blind Rating: 1/5

A drama influenced thriller about a religious and somewhat self-isolating community that's effectively blanketing a realistic romance. (snip) —Letterboxd review

8. The Souvenir (United Kingdom)

Saw in theatres (partially because so many movie peeps were shitting on it). I love it, but I didn't fucking love it. Was tempted to see it again, but didn’t get the chance. Dat ending, tho. While it was a movie peep telling me the whole plot that caused me to gain so much interest in it [Cabin in the Woods (2011) all over again, amiright?], I must say that the less you know the better. It’ll make for... a more immersive experience. Blind Rating: 3/5

9. After the Wedding (USA)

Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. I thought I really liked it, but I love it. This was a trip down unexpected lane, le'me tell ya. The trailer is a spoilerful lie, but the Landmark's description is very accurate. People's experiences will have a heavy hand in how they react to it and feel about certain characters. The way they made this feel like a constant thriller was excellently done. Dat cinematography, tho. Go in knowing nothing more than what the previous link provides. Blind Rating: 1/5

10. Joker (USA)

Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. I really like it. Blind Rating: 1/5

(slight spoilers)

This was difficult to watch at times, but hella captivating throughout. Arthur's reasoning is believable, his sanity is questionable, and his life is indeed one hell of a joke. Like watching an extreme example of what happens when people on the lower end lose access to social programs. This can very easily be taken as a commentary on mental illness kept unchecked. More than that, it's a story about a guy who accepts his "crazy" and transcends poverty, circumstance, and societal bullshit... at everyone else's expense. (snip) —Letterboxd review

11. Miles Davis: Birth of the Cool (USA)

Saw in theatres and discussed with a group immediately after. I really like it. Captivating documentary in a very similar style to Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am, but with Mr. Davis never joining the “talking heads” (as people like to call it) and instead being heard as a constant narrator of his own biography. Regardless of how I feel about him on a personal level, this shit was a great watch and the ending hit hard. Still need to get his autobiography, though. There’s a nostalgic factor for me here since I was partially reminded of my grandpa while watching it. Blind Rating: 'eh

12. Queen & Slim (USA)

Saw in theatres and discussed with someone immediately after. Fuck yeah, I enjoyed this one. Dat soundtrack and cinematography, bruh? 👌🏿 The throwback soundtrack, main characters’ racial group, and fact that they went to New Orleans definitely play a hand in why this one’s not atleast 1 spot lower. Blind Rating: 1/5

13. Dwelling in the Fuchon Mountains (China)

Saw in theatres during festival and attended discussion days later. I really like it. Was long, but in a good way. Similar to Ash is Purest White (2018) in that I kept thinking "please end here," but would be glad it didn't later. It's beautifully slothy and has absurdly long tracking shots. The cinematography during walking conversations is notable. Dat trick, tho. Blind Rating: 'eh

14. A Girl Missing (Japan)

Saw in theatres during festival and discussed with a group immediately after. Bruh~, this is a hell of a personal trial. Didn’t expect it to go the places it did. Blind Rating: 1/5

15. Dutch Angle: Chas Gerretsen & Apocalypse Now (Netherlands)

Saw on MUBI on phone. I love it. This goes over his childhood (for 8 minutes), career paths, photography of 9/11/1973's Chilean coup d'etat, the 6 months he spent on-set photographing Apocalypse Now (1979), and him as a person. What I didn’t expect was how much he would get into the details of things happening during that film’s development. Along with those details are interesting photos presented excellently in a way that’s reminiscent of manga at times. I like the way the photos take center point and are treated like the foreground. It’s like the director and editor forced themselves to remain aware that the documentary was showcasing 15% of the total slides housed in the Nederlands Fotomuseum’s archives in Rotterdam and that most of his Apocalypse Now photos were never seen. Dat score, tho [Ex Machina (2014) vibes]. Blind Rating: 0/5

BTW, it had its official (Dutch national) release by EYE Filmmuseum on 12/19/19 in the Netherlands, so maybe it’ll come to the USA soon. 🤷🏿‍♂️ Forgot to mention it’s been added as a special feature to the 40th anniversary 4K blu-ray disc of Apocalypse Now: Final Cut (2019).

16. Receiver (Ireland)

Saw on MUBI on phone. I really like it. A very interesting short film in three odd segments. First was disturbing; second was about activism, protests, and politics; third was about the person I assume the film was made for. All compose what I took as a film about the importance of having reliable sound and hearing. Needs to be watched alone with good sound quality (for immersion). Blind Rating: 'eh

17. Bacurau (Brazil)

Saw in theatres during festival. I really like it. This was some Most Dangerous Game shit with a hell of an ending. The whole game is an allegory of civilized people's obsession with hunting wild animals for "sport". I really like the portrayal of history here and enjoyed the racial matters it lays bare. I can only imagine someone watching this without knowing a thing. Kinda wish I didn’t even read the description beforehand. Digging the soundtrack. Blind Rating: 1/5

18. Little Women (USA)

Saw on 35mm and discussed with others on separate occasions. I really like it. This was just warming and sad. I felt for the main characters and actually felt satisfied with the way it ended. Considering the type of film, there are handful of typical things for me to complain about. That being said, the movie earned its stars back. I mean, did you not see their attic performances? Shit was dope. Blind Rating: ‘eh

#2019 #top of #favorite films #i love it #i really like it #Ireland #Netherlands #Japan #China #Brazil #United Kingdom #USA

[princess-of-france]

Also- since Love's Labour's Lost has been on the brain, and you are such a cool theatre person: dreamcast for LLL? Thank you so much!

OMFG MY FAVORITE COMEDY YES YES YES 

*blows kazoo*

(Also, I’m cracking up at you thinking I’m a “cool theater person,” because I promise that’s a wonderfully accidental illusion; in reality, I’m just a cryptid who’s entire genetic makeup consists of triple-espresso lattes, Gmail push notifications, Shakespeare plays, and tears. But you’re very kind!)

Before I answer this amazing Ask, I think I should clarify that my dreamcast for LLL already exists — or, at least, it existed in 2018 — and I had the dazzling, life-affirming pleasure of seeing them perform my beloved plotless comedy at my favorite theater festival on the planet: the Oregon Shakespeare Festival.

So here’s to Amanda Dennart and her IMPECCABLE Love’s Labour’s Lost:

^^^ Yes, that is King Ferdinand of Navarre, played by the once and future Daniel José Molina, meeting the Princess of France — the fabulous Alejandra Escalante — with a paper bag over his motherfucking head so that he doesn’t break his kingly oath of Not Looking At Female For 3 Years. (Fun fact: these two are now married!)

[Photo credit: Jenny Graham.]

BUT NOW TO THE MAIN EVENT:

Critically, I think LLL is a play about eight young people experiencing love for the first time and struggling to reconcile that love with their desire to be the Cleverest Person in the Room. Like so many whip-smart young people, the Crazy Eight equate cavalier carelessness with power, but the problem is: true love requires radical, wholehearted, unbearable vulnerability. It demands chaos and madness and mess and mistakes. True love asks us to be willing to look like an idiot. And most young people just aren’t ready for that, the first time it happens. It’s why the ending of this play is so goddam devastating.

And it’s why it’s so important to me that my cast list for the Crazy Eight reflects the youth, innocence, and inexperience I see baked into every one of their lines. Love has to seem like a first-time visitor to all of them. Love has to shake up their worldview like a snow globe, bowl them over, and then leave them impermeably altered. Love has to be the thing that makes them grow up. 

So, with that, I am proud to present...

~THE NAVARRE NERDS~

1. KING FERDINAND OF NAVARRE — Paapa Essiedu

Love of my complete life. I don’t know if there’s a better actor with a bigger heart anywhere on earth. His Henry VI was utterly inspired, so I know he can be Kingly. Plus, he’s a passionate advocate for decolonizing Shakespeare and making classical theater accessible to all and...yeah. I adore him. 

2. BEROWNE — Anthony Boyle

THIS IDIOT. I had to find a picture of him laughing, because he’s played a lot of Moody Broody Types, but OMG when he cracks a grin... Anthony is just a jewel of an actor: versatile, intense, thoughtful, emotionally articulate. He’ll keep Paapa’s Ferdie laughing, but also bring out the big guns for Berowne’s gorgeous character arc from horny cynic to lovesick wooer to chastened fool.

3. DUMAINE — Alfred Enoch

Perfect angel darling. There’s no doubt in my mind that Alfie can do Smug, Suave, Would-Be-James Bond Dumaine as well as Dorky, Clumsy, Foot-Constantly-in-Mouth Dumaine with equal flair. Also, I love him. <3

4. LONGAVILLE — George MacKay

Apparently, this sweetheart is playing Hamlet soon in the new Ophelia movie, which is HILARIOUS, because he looks like the most Innocent Innocent to ever Innocent. I suppose this is what makes him a good actor. And he is very good.

~LES FILLES~

5. PRINCESS OF FRANCE — Lily James

This goddess is always getting cast as ingenues who fall in love with their eyes and hearts wide open, which is all fine and good. But I wanna see her fall in love against her will, against her better judgment, and with stubborn denial attending her every step of the way...partly because Lily is up to the challenge, and partly because it would be precious af.

6. ROSALINE — Karla Crome

BAMF. Berowne won’t know what hit him. Karla is talented in a way most of us can only dream about, but even more importantly, she is whip-smart, self-possessed, and in love with herself. Get it, girl.

7. KATHARINE — Shay Mitchell

It’s hard to beat Shay for Sleek, Feline Intelligence. I like to imagine Katharine as the ultimate duchess: rich, spoiled, overeducated, overprivileged, dressed to the nines every minute of every day. But she carries so much pain behind the mask. Being fabulous is no substitute for losing your big sister. And I think Shay can do justice to all those layers.

8. MARIA — Francesca Mills

I had the honor of seeing Francesca in Rachel Chavkin’s epic production of American Clock at the Old Vic this past winter. In a cast of over 20 brilliant actors, she emerged as the brightest star. I have never fallen in love with an actress so quickly. Sweet, inquisitive, sassy, and smart, with a crystalline voice, Francesca is the ultimate heroine. Her Maria will be the most adorable in human history, I think.

9. BOYET — Tamsin Greig

Imho, no one does Blustery Spinster Energy better than Tamsin. (See her performance as Miss Bates in the 2009 BBC miniseries, Emma.) My favorite version of Boyet is the adult female chaperone that the Princess and her ladies gleefully dress up as a man to stymie Ferdinand’s guards. It makes 5.2 all the more giddy and revelatory, and also it just makes narrative sense. Tamsin will play the beleaguered and increasingly exasperated Wine Mom to perfection.

~THE PSEUDO-SCHOLARS~

10. DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO — Riz Ahmed

I just can’t even express how much I love Riz. He dissolves completely into every single role he plays, no matter how absurd the character may seem on paper. And that is a very pertinent qualification for playing Armado, because he has the hard-fought distinction of being the most Abjectly Batshit Character in this bonkers play. Also I just really wanna get his autograph help

11. MOTE — Kiernan Shipka

THIS GIRL. Oh man, I don’t even know where to begin. She’s so flipping good at her craft, and at such a young age!! Honestly, I’d hate her if she weren’t so damn precious. All she needs to do is learn how to do a Scottish accent and then she’ll be 100% ready to play the wee snickering Watson to Armado’s pirate-Holmes. I’ve always read Mote as Armado’s platonic life partner slash surrogate daughter. She’s probably the only person in the world who knows Armado’s social security number. (Plus, Riz is a sweetheart, so you just know they’ll become great friends!)

12. DR. HOLOFERNES — Olivia Colman

What can I say? She’ll play the broad, slapstick comic relief stock character of Il Dottore to perfection...right up until the moment she doesn’t. Then she’ll make us all sob. “This is not generous, not gentle, not humble!” (V.ii.2570)

13. NATHANIEL — Cyril Nri

Can’t you just see this angel loving the crap out of Olivia’s Holofernes?? Like, he probably built an extension onto his rectory home JUST to give the famous visiting Italian academic a place to stay during her time in Navarre. Great actor, great human, great smile. 11/10

~BELOW-STAIRS~

14. COSTARD — Andy Samberg

My only Costard. I mean, he’s the only white boy I know who could play such a cowardly fuckboi of a character without turning him into a 2-D caricature. Not to mention the fact that Andy is a spectacular improv actor, so he can invent a lot of new lines and jokes for the hallboy! Win-win!

15. JAQUENETTA — Phoebe Waller-Bridge

Because I want the oft-disregarded Jaquenetta to be the Narrator of this whole wild shebang, I need an actor who can foster a deliciously familiar, non-4th-wall relationship with the audience and/or camera. Phoebe is the undisputed Queen of this. She’ll be STELLAR. And she and Andy will make people cry from laughing so hard.

16. CONSTABLE ANTHONY DULL — Andre Braugher

I love the idea of this Juilliard-trained classical actor sitting quietly with his crossword puzzle in the back of the polished oak Navarre library, watching a group of the Dumbest Smart People in human history talking themselves into a tizzy over false Latin and prickets and excrement and bad, mis-delivered iambic hexametric sonnets and just chuckling to himself. (Also: BB99 reunion!)

17. MERCADÉ — Randall Park

Tbh, I feel bad giving such a small part to such a phenomenal actor, but the thing about Mercadé is that he is like the BIGGEST small part in all of Shakespeare. He’s right up there with the First Servant in Lear in terms of the sheer narrative punch he packs into just a few short lines. And I think the best Mercadé is the one who has a personal relationship to the Princess. Maybe he was a personal aide to her father, the King? Maybe he helped raise her? Regardless, I think their conversation at the end of 5.2 is more than just the delivery of a sad message. It’s a communion between two grieving patriots of France. I want an actor whose warm heart will shine through that brief interchange. Randall can obviously do that, tenfold.

Aaaaaaand I think that’s it! Thanks again for the Ask, Lauren!! This was an absolute treat. xx Claire