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hwangism143 · 1 month

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limbo (part 2)

synopsis: you weren't expecting to meet him again but maybe the influx of memories can help you piece what exactly had happened that fateful night five years ago

pairing: non-idol!minho x non-idol!fem reader

genre: angst, exes to lovers, heart break

warning: mentions of eating a drinking. heart break and swearing. just general warnings. pls lmk if i have missed anything!

word count: 3.2k words

a/n: here is part 2 of my baby, i do suggest reading part 1 though. pls leave you comments and do reblog. part 3 coming soon!

part 1 | masterlist | part 3

now (present day).

You were quite proud of yourself for how you handled the situation.

You stood there staring at Minho for a beat longer than you should have. You were taking him in, all of him. How could someone look this way? He looked like God had favorites, as if the most skilled angles had carved him out of the finest marble.

You stood there and stared and broke a little inside. Then, you swiftly turned around, checked out whatever you needed to, and started to walk to your car. After that you sat in your car, scoffing at your luck.

"The universe really is playing a cosmic joke on me, isn't it?" you mused.

And then here you were now, curled up in front of the TV with a streaming bowl of chicken noodle soup, watching rom-coms with happy endings to dull the fact that you didn't have one. You were grateful though; a happy ending was still an ending. You had so much more to write in your story.

Spending five years abroad had changed you. You weren't sure if it was for the better or worse, but it was certainly something. You had made friendships that you cherished and explored things you never had. You attempted to get into the romance side of things, but just never felt like you had met the right person. Part of you chalked it up to your extremely high standards (ah, the curse of being an avid consumer of cheesy media). Another part of you knew that it was Minho's reaction to you leaving.

He was your first love, your first... everything you could say, when it came to romantic relationships. To find out that he had never even loved you in the first place was a devastating revelation. It had been ingrained into your head that you were unlovable, that you were so pitiful that a man had to pretend to love in order to not hurt your feelings.

You did blame Minho because, after all, you were only human. However, you knew that you weren't the easiest to handle five years ago either. Old you was sensitive to nearly everything. You had a tendency to plunge into things without thinking about any of the consequences affecting you or anybody else involved, and that included falling in love with Lee Minho.

Your phone buzzed beside you and you opened it up with a smile on your face.

[1:47 PM]

hyune bun: BITCH YOU'RE HOME WAGHTHDHDJ?!?!

hyune bun: and i had to find out from your ex, the same one who caused you to come to me crying???

you: good fucking afternoon to you too hyune

you: it was supposed to be a surprise, hehe...

you: about the minho thing...

hyune bun: dw, he told me

hyune bun: a surprise bitch stfu you probably forgot about me -_-

you: damn okay drama queen

hyune bun: lix is gonna be so fucking mad at you lmaooo

You were nearly grinning at your phone now, texting one of your closest friends from college. It took you back to the good old days, when you weren't quite an adult nor a child. You and your friends lived in a balance of freedom and restrictions that you longed for. It took you back the the crazy stunts, exhausting days and wild nights, and since your brain had a habit to redirect to Minho, it reminded you of him.

then (seven years ago).

You weren't quite sure how you, Hyunjin and Felix came to be friends. It did make sense in some ways though. You were just a year older than them, and despite being in your second year of college, just as far from 'put together' as possible. You assumed it was the first astronomy class that you had attended since the school had began.

Since it was a fairly new course, both first years and second years were put in the same class. As a science major yourself, you didn't see it as much of a burden. Having dropped biology as an extra course from the year before, you had made the slightly dangerous choice (as you would come to know from an extremely difficult course load) to stick with physics and mathematics.

Space was always a fascination for you. From the stars to the moon, everything just wholly and completely enamored you. You were excited, if anything, for the class to begin. Your sentiments, however, were not widely shared among your classmates. It was common knowledge that a lot of the art majors just took an extra side course related to science to keep their families' mouths shut for a semester or two. The Asian parent stereotypes were very much true in this side of your world.

That was evident when you saw two adorable first years looking for a seat. They looked like they were positively dreading the idea of being in this class. You couldn't blame them. Everything about them screamed 'doesn't do well with numbers'. Literally. The taller boy was wearing a literal shirt that said that exact phrase. The slightly shorter one saw you eyeing them curiously and gave you a wave, causing the taller one to nearly trip over the stairs.

That was the day you had practically adopted Lee Felix and Hwang Hyunjin.

then (six and a half years ago).

"Come on," whined Hyunjin as Felix handed you a coffee, "you promised."

"No," you said firmly as you started walking alongside them, a swarm of girls making their way towards the three of you.

You sighed. Being friends with two of the hottest guys on campus could be very irritating at times. Hyunjin, Felix and the six other boys they shared a house with off campus were the heartthrobs of the university you all attended. You knew they eight of them were close, but the only other person from their group that you had met was the freshman, Jeongin.

You would jokingly call their friend group Stray Kids, due to the amount of times they had had to change housing. Despite it all though, the eight of them refused to live separately, opting to live together instead. Hyunjin and Felix had been very insistent about you coming to a party they were hosting this weekend to meet the rest of them.

Felix said so because he wanted to have his 'favorite people meet each other'. Hyunjin cited the same reason as him, but you knew that Hyunjin just wanted to play cupid and set you up with one of his hyungs. That was another thing they were notorious for: that group always rejected girls. The only one in a stable relationship (or any relationship to be honest), was the oldest, Chan. He was in a two-year relationship with a music major named Eun-bi.

You weren't immune to the comments that would be passed about you as well, having been associated with the school prince and sunshine personified. People would assume that the three of you were in a threesome, that it was an open relationship. Some even assumed that you were adopted siblings (and those some were much more bearable than the others). Often time both girls and guys came up to you asking about their status and their phone numbers. You would just laugh it off. Too bad for them, they would never know what big dorks Hyunjin and Felix were in reality.

Another issue though with being friends with popular people, was being set on an unwanted pedestal yourself. People were wary of you, opting to stay far away, or wanted to take advantage of you. You had very few close friends which, didn't really bother you, but sometimes had a tendency to get to you. Realizing that being friends with people high up in the social ranking meant that you could only be friends with people high in social rankings finally caused you to give in to Hyunjin's incessant whining and Felix's hesitant words of agreement.

"Noona, I love you," said Hyunjin, patting you head.

You rolled your eyes at him and started poking him in the side. He began laughing and shrieking at the same time as Felix grinned and whipped out his phone, not missing the chance to document such an event. You finally stopped, a heap of giggles yourself. Hyunjin mumbled something under his breath along the words of 'always conspiring against me' and the conversation soon shifted to what the three of you would be wearing.

"No offense noona," said Felix gently, "but your fashion sense is shit."

You gave him an Academy Award worthy side eye, although you knew he was right. You were well, to put it nicely, very messy. Your "fashion sense" was usually whatever fell out of your closet first when you opened it.

"Okay, fine," you give in, "what should I wear?"

The boys suddenly and very excitedly begin asking you questions. Monochromatic or colorful? What length of dress would you be comfortable in? Sleeveless or with sleeve? You couldn't help but smile at their enthusiasm, content with just living in the moment.

"Fuck," you swore under your breath.

Somehow, brilliant old you, managed to sleep through three, three alarms. Quickly getting off your bed, you checked your phone. You had a couple text, one email from Quora (I'm 15 and pregnant...) and two missed calls from Hyunjin. Shooting him a text off 'I'm getting ready', you checked the time and saw that you still had an hour to get ready.

You let out a puff of breath. I can do this. After a lunchtime consultation with Hyunjin and Felix, you had opted for a white button-up crop top, black mini skirt and leather mini blazer. You put on light makeup because, for the life of you, you could not put on makeup. Sighing sadly after looking at your hideous reflection, you hollered for your roommate Sora.

"What is- oh my god my sweet child what have you done to your face," she said in one breath. Sora was two years younger than you (albeit calling you her sweet child) and was a majoring in fashion studies. She was also invited for the party, rocking straight hair, red lipstick and a silver dress.

She scooted over to you and applied eyeliner onto your eyes, chattering about her day. She was applying lipstick to your lips when she suddenly asked, "Yang Jeongin. He's single, right?"

You looked at her with an almost sisterly expression, "Yeah I think so but... don't use him as a rebound Sora.

Sora rolled her eyes at you. She had broken up with her ex-girlfriend two months ago. They had been together for little over half a year, until they realized that a relationship with barely any communication wasn't really a relationship at all.

"I was just asking, a girl in my class was planning on getting his number today."

The conversation continued as you grabbed a handbag and slipped pepper spray and your phone inside. The two of you stepped outside, deciding that Sora would be tonight's designated driver since you were the last time you both went to a party, which, as Sora loved to remind you, was the first day of school party ('hosted by the faculty of all people!' she would exclaim).

You and Sora were nearing the Stray Kids house when Felix ran over to you and wrapped you in a bear hug. "Damn noona, you look good," he said in excitement.

"C'mon, the boys are really excited to meet you," he exclaimed, "also, hey Sora!"

"Oppa," said Sora lightly tapping him on the shoulder, "I think you're suffocating her."

The three of you make your way inside, just to be hit with loud music, the smell of alcohol and excited shouts. Felix leads the three of you into the room when you finally see the other boys in all their glory. Felix quickly starts pointing at who's who.

You recognize Jeongin, the sweet Public Relations major, standing in the corner of the room looking at what you presumed was the boy's fish. Next to him was the host himself, Bang Chan, laughing at something his gorgeous girlfriend said, looking at her with literal heart eyes.

Then you see Hyunjin, goofing off with Changbin and Jisung. The three of them tried (and failed) at making a large tower with solo cups. Next to them, you see Seungmin, shaking his head as he was recording their antics. Finally, your eyes rest upon him for the first time.

He's wearing a white tee and black jeans, hair damp with water from what must have been a shower. He has an amused smirk on his face as he watches Jisung stuttering at a girl who must have asked him for his number. Letting out a laugh, he politely tells her that Jeongin is very much single and that the person who she was talking to was Jisung and she excitedly runs away.

"Go get your guy," hollers Sora who was near the fish tank, startling an entranced Jeongin.

You walk over to Hyunjin, noting Jisung's open mouth and Minho's curious eyes as you went. You crouch down next to him, snorting at how he was so concentrated in building the castle, that he didn't even notice your heeled boots clacking against the floor.

"I'm here you fucking dork," you huff with a roll of your eyes.

Hyunjin jumps backwards, clutching his collarbone, "You scared the living shit out of me, noona."

You stand up gracefully as you say, "Remind me to buy you a dollar store pearl necklace for your birthday, since you have such a large penchant for imitating extras on the Real Housewives."

At that, both Minho and Seungmin snicker. Hyunjin stands up as well and says, "Oh yeah, guys, this is Y/N noona."

The boys exchange polite waves and salutations. Changbin proceeds to stand up, look at you and then sit back down. "Ah fuck," he laments, "She's taller than me. There goes my chance to shoot my shot."

You break out into a laugh as Minho pads over to you. "Science major, right? Hyunjin and Felix talk a lot about how they're only passing because of you."

You give him a dazzling smile, "Yes to both of those. What about you?"

"Oh, I'm taking culinary classes but majoring in veterinary studies."

The conversation just flows from there, not feeling strained even once. The two of you are sitting on the couch soon, about an arms length of distance between you. You're sitting cross-legged with a pillow on your lap as Minho leans against the armchair of the couch.

Gosh, he's funny, and sweet. He tells you all about his cats as you tell him about your siblings back home. He brings you food (which you make sure to thoroughly check because, hey, you did just meet him) and offers to get you a blanket.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you though," you say in response to that.

The two of you seem lost in your own world, oblivious to the beer pong tournaments and obnoxious couples scattered around you. You're hit with the devastating realization that you could listen to Minho talk about the most mundane topics all day long.

It's just the alcohol. I do not have a crush on somebody I have just met.

Hyunjin catches your eye and makes fake kissing gestures behind you back as you flip him off. Minho catches whiff of the exchange and threatens to stick Hyunjin in the air fryer, eliciting a giggle from you. Felix even comes over to Minho, grumbling about how he wasn't expecting that introducing one of his favorite hyungs to his favorite noona would lead to said noona being stolen by said hyung.

You wish you could continue talking to Minho, but soon, Chan's girlfriend Eun-bi comes over and drags you to the kitchen.

"I have heard so much about you," she says with a smile, sipping a lemonade lazily while sitting on a barstool.

"All good things, I hope?"

"Oh," she throws her head back and lets out a pretty laugh, "You're literally an angel sent from heaven according to Lixie and a fellow hopeless romantic noona according to Hyunjin."

The two of you continued talking, and you found that you ended up liking her a lot. You understood why Chan fell for someone like her. She was everything a person could want in a partner. Hell, even you felt attracted to her.

Damn, what was in that drink I poured for myself?

You couldn't stop thinking about Minho though. You wondered what he was doing. Was he talking to a girl right now like he was talking with you? Was she looking at him as if his face held the key to her heart the way you were looking at him?

Did your interaction mean anything or was it all in you head?

"Oh no," same Eun-bi's voice, "Looks like I have lost you to them as well."

"What?" you ask, arising from your love stricken trance.

"You like one of them," said Eun-bi with a teasing lilt, "Don't worry. It happens to the best of us."

You looked at her, mouth slightly hung open. "Respectfully eonnie, what the actual fuck are you talking about."

She looked at you, mischief in her eyes. "Don't play dumb," she said, a teasing lilt in her voice, "Who is it? Changbin? Mm, no, too short. Hyunjin? Absolutely not, I don't think so?"

Eun-bi continued, "Minho? Maybe..." she looked at you intently, her expression turning from one of fun into one of accusation, "Oh my god. It's Minho, isn't it?"

"What," you scoff uneasily, "Nooo."

Eun-bi raises an eyebrow, obviously eager to continue the conversation, but you quickly interrupt her. "So, how did you and Chan meet?"

At that, a wistful smile etches onto Eun-bi's face. "He's a music production major. I'm a songwriting and vocal major. We had a combined project and even though I wasn't assigned to him, he had a habit to talk to everyone, causing him to talk to me. And the rest is history."

She continued, "He says that the first thing he noticed about me was how my eyebrows would scrunch up. And I noticed how his eyes disappeared when he smiled. I found him attractive long before I talked to him though. Obviously."

Eun-bi says the last sentence with a shrug, almost matter-of-factly. She wasn't wrong though. It was extremely hard to not crush on at least one of them the entire duration that you were in college.

Eun-bi's words led you to foolishly hope. Not for Minho really, but for love in general. It was a dangerous yearning. The yearning to scream from the top of a building, professing your love. The yearning to be held with fragility and to be kissed with intensity. A yearning to be loved, the way poets wove their odes to the stars and the skies. A wanting to be cherished, like a treasured diamond, only reflecting the best that you could offer.

Unbeknown to you, Minho stood in the corner of the room, watching you erupt with laughter, a small smile on his lips and a million similar thoughts in his head.

#stray kids #skz #lee know #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #lee know x y/n #lee know x reader #lee know angst #lee know fluff #- via's fics <3

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chrollohearttags · 11 months

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doordasher!eren seeing you have a bad day and trying to make it better because surprisingly, he isn’t an asshole all the time 🥹😭

content warning: mentions of PMS, depression and a little sadness. He’s a sweetie pie in this.

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞═

he had been running deliveries all night. Back and forth between various restaurants, dropping off orders to all the customers who had requested all types of things. From five Mexican pizzas for a bunch of college kids to happy meals for a couple of fussy little ones, needless to say he was busy and was being kept on his toes. However, he couldn’t help but think about his favorite patron..

it had been a few days since he’d seen (y/n) appear on his radar and he found it quite strange. Even though the two of you constantly bickered, mainly because of his slick ass mouth, he had developed quite the soft spot for you. Oftentimes worrying and thinking about you off the clock as well. And tonight, he couldn’t help but get you off of his mind. Driving around aimlessly, awaiting his next job when he decided to pull into a gas station for some smacks of his own. It was as he was scraping up to the counter in his sweats and slides, placing a Peach Faygo and plain Lays on the glass top when he got a notification on his Apple Watch, which he was using to pay with. ‘You just received a new order from (y/n)!’ But he was a little surprised to see it differentiated from your usual. It was from Walmart..tissues, chips, ice cream, and some Tylenol. However, before he could accept, he’d seen that you canceled. Which caught him off guard. What could that have been about? He’d thank the clerk and then dart back to his car where he’d do a little digging. His initial thought was that you possibly could have been on your period and didn’t want some man picking up your personal items but he’d retrieved far worse than some Maxi Pads and Mydol during his tenure here. He knew that you and Connie, another fellow dasher and one of his best friends were pretty cool so he’d hit him up, wondering had he heard from you. He was very much aware of you guys’ little ongoing rivalry, having known each other for about six months now so you weren’t exactly strangers anymore; had even hung out and smoked with them all and as funny as he thought it was, he had some advice for Eren..

“Ion know, bruh. I wouldn’t bother her right now. She’s been having a rough couple days so she’s been actin a lil’ different. I tried to check in on her but she don’t wanna talk. Imma just give her some space.”

but that wasn’t his style! Annoying as he was, he was an even bigger softie. If someone he knew or cared about wasn’t doing well, he’d do whatever he could to make sure they were feeling better by the time he was done. Despite Connie’s advice, he’d crank back up and peel out of the parking lot, headed to the superstore to pick up your requested items…and a few other things! Meanwhile, you were sitting in your two bedroom apartment..glaring out of the window with a rather gloom expression on your face. Watching the light rain fall underneath faint glow of the street lights as you worked tirelessly at your computer. Feeling a bit jaded and ready to clock out. Truth was, it was a gnawing feeling you had been experiencing for days. Stuck in sort of a rut and without direction. Everything was beginning to feel a bit mundane. Living alone in this apartment with hardly any visitors, you were left only with your work and lonely thoughts to get you by. Even tonight, you didn’t feel like eating much; cancelling your order before you’d waste someone’s time or that brunette nuisance could show up at your door, ready to be a pain.

if you were being completely honest, even arguing with him didn’t feel so bad right about now. Anything not to feel so isolated.. little did you know, he was already ten steps ahead and en route; hoping to bring that frown to a giant smile. Scouring the aisles of Walmart, searching for anything he’d hope you like. Ice cream, tissues, chips..all as you had requested. But he needed more. Something to truly lift your spirits up.. “What do girls like when they’re sad? Teddy bears? Candy? Liquor?..hell if I know.” Muttering to himself, even with passing patrons glaring at him as if he were crazy. But he was actually talking into his AirPods, trying to consult his friends who were on a FaceTime call with him. They couldn’t help but laugh at how he was going to all these extra lengths just to see a customer smile. Even taking the expense from his own pocket. After a little more intel from Connie, he had learned how stressed you had been with your new role. A promotion that came with nothing more than a larger workload and a slightly bigger pay raise. Which truly wasn’t worth it by the time you factored in emotional and manual labor. So this was definitely what you needed. “Ion know but I think somebody got a lil’ crush on my homegirl.” Connie blurting out to make the others burst into laughter, teasing him relentlessly. Just the sheer mention making his cheeks glow red. “Aye, it ain’t even like that. She’s just really cool. That’s all..don’t want her being depressed and by herself if I can help it.” He truly was something. Nonetheless, he’d continue filling his basket with all types of things until he was sure he had built the ultimate care package.

* . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° .* * . °•★|•°∵ ∵°•|☆•° .* * . °•★|•°∵

by that time, the rain began to pick up and get a little heavier, thus sending your power surging and your system offline for a little bit. “What the—?! Damnit! Now I gotta tell these bitches my internet is out..” understandably frustrated, you’d click around the screen and just release a huff, knowing there was nothing you could do at the moment except wait for things to boot back up. It was yet another headache you had to deal with explaining. But it did provide you with a bit of a break to get away from that draining screen. You’d get up from your chair, stretching your back and legs, preparing to head downstairs when you heard your doorbell ring. You weren’t expecting any company so that was quite odd! Could it have been some dumb kid playing a prank? Perhaps, a wrong door? Exercising caution, you’d make your way to the bottom step, leading into the living room where you’d reach the front door. Using the peephole, you’d look around and that’s when you’d spot a bag on the doorstep, up underneath the canopy covering…and an oddly familiar vehicle sitting out in the middle of the parking lot!..lights on, engine running and shrouded by rain. Carefully opening up the door, you’d take a peak around before procuring the items. Before you could even see what it was, the vehicle and its driver were peeling away. But what was inside was enough to bring you to tears and make this hellscape of a week feel all the more worth it.

in a giant gift bag was candy, two small roses, a tiny pink teddy bear, Moose Tracks ice cream, bags of chips, a soft plush blanket and lastly, a card that read “get well soon.” You didn’t know why or how he knew you were feeling down but once that door closed, tears began to stream down your face. Overcome with sheer emotion that someone thought enough of you to try and brighten your day!..even if it was the last person you’d expect. “Eren, I have no idea what to think of you. You’re something else, you know that?” Muttering to yourself as you wiped your face. Just as you went to go turn and head to the kitchen to place your things in the fridge, your phone would illuminate with a text, reading:

“Feel better soon, okay? I don’t like knowing you’re sad. I hope these help. Besides, who else is going to make my shifts fun?” -your favorite dasher. ❤️

needless to say, he had earned himself all five of his stars and then some.

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updownlately · 5 months

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it's been seven minutes (since i lost the girl of my dreams)

| leah williamson x reader | angst | a/n: got this idea earlier today but didn't get the chance to write till now (aka 3:30 am). inspired by 7 minutes by dean lewis (shocker)

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It’s been ten months of you both dating before your world comes crashing down. You would've never predicted that a singular text would be the beginning of the end.

Driving to your girlfriend's house at nine pm on a Wednesday night was not in your plans for that day, but you didn't mind- you never minded when it came to Leah, you'd do anything for her.

You could've never predicted the eight words that suckered punched you in the chest soon after your arrival. Upon entering, you'd noticed the awkward tension in the foyer as you were greeted in, the always-confident blonde wringing her hands as she ushered you in, deftly avoiding giving you a greeting kiss. It was only as she brought you to the island, took a handful of deep breaths and started speaking did it all sink in. Unsuccessful in your attempt to swallow the lump in your throat, you felt the blood rush in your ears as the defender spoke, not meeting your eyes.

"I don’t think we were meant for forever"

It's been seven minutes since all your hopes and dreams for the future came tumbling down, ablaze, unable to be saved. Seven minutes since your tears started to silently fall, any attempt to wipe them futile as you tried to ignore Leah's sympathetic look.

Since then you'd been driving around aimlessly for the better part of six minutes- blurred vision, no idea where you were going, no care where you ended up, just as long as you were away from the blonde- far away from the one who just ripped your heart out of your chest and let it fall unceremoniously on the ground, ready to be stomped on.

Five days is how long it took before you even remotely start to feel human again. You’d been through heartbreaks before, of relationships that were much longer, but somehow nothing had ever hurt this bad, this much. None of them had meant anything remotely close to this. You'd finally thought you'd found the one- finally convinced that love did exist, only to be proven wrong, your innocent assumption blowing up in your face.

For you she was forever. You’d come to that conclusion a few months ago, when she had joined you as you sat on the grass, head tossed back, your music playing softly as you let the weight of life crash down upon you. You'd let yourself break in front of her, trusting that she'd catch you, and she did. She caught you, held on tight, picked you up, that is, until she let you fall the remaining way, all by yourself.

It had you silently wondering if she'd ever meant those three words when she'd whisper them to you late in the night. If her promise of I love you ever meant anything to her. Had the words always been as empty as what you felt now?

Two weeks pass before you see her again, your heart clenching in agony as you see her smiling shyly at her phone, a red hue coating her cheeks as one paints your vision. That used to be you, and now it wasn't, and you'd be lying if you said that your heart wasn't wrenching in pain, chest constricting so tight you feared you'd forget how to breathe. So caught up in your love, you'd never stepped back to see if it was reciprocated, and you couldn't help but feel like an idiot now.

It's why one month later you’re signing your papers for your transfer, the new year the perfect time for a new you, a fresh start.

If love wasn't meant for you, then so be it. If it's what the universe had planned for you, then you weren't going to let someone break your heart again. It's why zero was the number of times you'd let yourself love again, heart locked away for good, walls up higher than anyone could ever climb.

#not proofread sorry folks #my take on a 10-1 countdown fic #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson #woso #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso community #woso imagine #my writing #blurb #ibsm #angst

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mixiury · 1 month

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Sunlight knocking outside of your window.

Character(s): Wanderer x GN Reader

Warning(s): Depressive thoughts and in general signs of depression.

Summary: When days seems meaningless, someone is there for you. (OR how he helps you during a depressive episode)

A/N: I wrote this as a comfort for myself a year ago or so. I never meant to publish it but, now that I am in a better place, I thought that it may help anyone who is going through the same, so here it is <3 Requests are open btw!

Shivers run through your body despite being covered in sheets and blankets. Everything is so cold, the type that numbs out your senses until all you can feel is the freezing sensation taking your body. Just the idea of getting out of the bed is unimaginable, too tired to even move from your position.

All corners in the room sumerge you in their darkness, as if waiting to consume you whole. You don't resist it. There is just not point on it. Instead you close your eyes and let it drive, taking you whatever it wishes. Maybe if you pray hard enough you will be somewhere else. A unreachable place where pain can't find you, far away from your own mind.

Just five more minutes of sleep never hurt anybody, and sometimes resigning is far better than keep fighting an endless war, but when you open your eyes you are still in your room. Motionless. Fixed to the same thoughts that never seem to leave.

Some days are harder than others, they say, but in reality, they are not. They are incredibly easy, and that somehow makes it worse. You have no right to pity yourself when all you do is eat and sleep for hours, if not days, while other people works so hard to get half of what you have. It's shameful, really, but you can't force yourself to care enough to do something about it.

You try not to focus too much in your surroundings, intentionally ignoring all the clothes and papers around your bed. They are in the floor too, memorizing exactly the place of everything just so you don't step on them. It has be getting harder as more and more trash gather around, but everytime you set your mind in cleaning something comes out. You just don't have time for it, you often tell yourself. Maybe, if you say it enough times, one day you will believe it.

Actually, what time is it? The urge to check your phone suddenly overcomes you, although quickly give up on it when you realize it is completely dead. It doesn't even matter, you think. Days are all the same anyways, your shrug it off. You don't even remember the last time you did anything outside of roting in your room. Your memory has gotten worse, or maybe it has gotten better because, when you have nothing to do, everything is a little reminder of it.

How you wish you could just sleep this uncomfortable feeling crawling off your chest as worms eating your flesh, yet, despite how tired you are, your body stubbornly refuse to shut itself off once again. It must have gotten tired of that too, you just hoped it would do the same with you. But as much you would like that to happen, all you can do is stare at the ceiling. In a weird, incomprehensible way, It stares back.

It's impossible to know how long you stay like that, it could have been hours just as it could have been minutes, but what brings you back to reality is a knock on your door, the numbness suddenly replaced with annoyance as you slowly realize it won't stop anytime soon. The person outside of your room must know how stubborn you can be, because at some point they just stop knocking and abruptly break in. Rude. Maybe you should be scared that someone was able to get inside your house that easily, but instead you only burry yourself in your blankets, the light from the outside dazzling you.

Doesn't take you to see his face or hear his voice to know who is the intruder, although the recognition doesn't make it any better nor your annoyance any less.

"How do you even walk in here?"

"Good morning for you too."

"It's 5 pm. In what world is that morning?"

"In mine."

"And in it is this good too?"

"Definitely not after you burst through my door."

You hope that he would finally get the message, turn around and leave you alone, but all he does is huff and start gathering things off the floor, matching your own stubbornness. Although irritating, you know better that try to kick him out, already familiar with this routine between the two of you everytime you or him fall into these "episodes", coming unwelcome to the other's place just to check if they are still alive, most of the time after a week or two of not news or signs of life.

It is an unsaid agreement that you both did when opening to each other for the first time, something you sometimes are grateful of and others regret it, specially when he is the one breaking in and not the other way around. You wonder if he feels the same, but either way, none of you ever talk about it.

"Don't move anything, you are just going to make it worse."

"Stop whining and be grateful I'm doing this in the first place. Your whole room is already a mess, there is literally no way to make it worse."

Your mind screams to tell him how you know the place of every single thing on the floor and how he is just desorginizing your whole complex system you carefully created, but that would just start an argument about how stupid that is and you just don't have the energy for it right now. Yet, with the blankets on top of you to still cover the light, you decide to throw him a dirty petty look, one which once again is matched by him at first and later ignored.

Finally, you give up, fully using the blankets as a shelter and burying yourself in them like before.

Speak feels too much, listen feels too much, eat feels too much, get up feels too much, sleep feels too much, exist feels too much. You can't even continue staring at the ceiling because that would mean uncover your eyes completely and the lights are also too much for your eyes. All you wish is for Wanderer to give up on you just like you gave up in yourself, maybe if he did you wouldn't feel as a burden anymore. Maybe you would finally stop caring at all. But when has Wanderer ever listened to someone besides himself? Just like talking to a rock, or in this case, puppet.

"Stop overthinking. Self pity won't take you anywhere."

His voice guides you out of your thoughts, but not out of the all consuming emptiness and loneliness that usually fallows with them. He knows it all well, the feeling of just wanting to dissapear out of thin air to never be remembered nor found. That should be comforting, yet it isn't. Understanding does nothing against it, pity makes it worse, and help is terrifying, no matter from who it comes.

"All I want is to go back to sleep." Half a truth. You don't need to finish that sentence for him to get it.

"When was the last time you ate anything?"

What were you supposed to answer to that? You don't even know what day is it. It could have been just some hours just as it could have been days. Last time you checked your fridge there was nothing left to eat so you just went back to the bed and haven't bothered of eating anything ever since. You should have ordered something, anything, but you must stink after so many time without showering and you just didn't want to interact with anyone like that.

"Time is relative."

You try to hide it but embarrassment crawl out of your body as the realization kicks in, hands instinctively reaching for your pillow and using it to cover yourself with that too. If seeing your room was bad this was ten times worse. You haven't noticed until now, but your hair is greasy and your clothes sweaty, sticking to your skin in a very uncomfortable way. Although your nose can't catch it, it would be surprising if you don't smell too, for once grateful that your friend doesn't exactly have a human body to notice that.

Now, besides feeling completely useless, you also feel self conscious, isn't this so great?

He sighs and you are so sure he is going to leave. It is weird, all this time everything wanted is for him to get out as soon as possible, but now that feels so degrading, not that you would blame him if he does.

"I'll cook something but first I need you to get out of the bed."

Of course. You almost forgot this is Wanderer.

"I don't want to get up."

He stares at you. You stare back harder. All those stare competitions with the ceiling will have to paid off somehow.

Both of you stay like that until he finally resigns for the first time today, going back to clean around. It is surprising how he did so much in about an hour, actually being able to see the floor now. You will just blame his anemo vision for it, because the alternative is that you are just useless at literally picking stuff from the floor and you aren't really fan of that conclusion.

You must have spaced out because the next thing you feel is the weight of the bed suddenly shifting, Wanderer getting on it too as he ignores all the stuff on top of it. Your mind begs you to push him away, but your body moves a little to the edge, giving him the space to actually fit. Maybe any other day you two would fall into a teasing exchange, mocking each other and trying to get under the skin of the other only to forget how the conversation started in the first place. However, as familiar you are with those conversations, it just doesn't feel right anymore. Not right now.

"Here is what we are going to do; We stay in bed for 15 minutes more, after that we stand up and you go and take a shower while I cook you something. When we are done we can watch a movie, play something or hang out outside, what do you say?"

"Make it twelve minutes, let me pick the movie AND the games. You have terrible taste."

"Fine, but then you agree to open the windows because this place looks like a fucking cave. Also, I refuse to play Animal Crossing."

"Animal Crossing is way better than any other game you play."

"My choice is final. We can still play that stupid cult game where you are a goat or something."

"Is a lamb."

"Whatever, we have a deal?"

"Do I even have any other choice?"

Wanderer smiles slightly, greedy and proud, while you reluctantly accept your final defeat for today. The only difference is that, this time, you don't feel as alone as before, forming a smile of your own too. Maybe a little of light isn't so bad after all.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #wanderer x reader #scaramouche x reader #pure comfort #genshin impact x you #genshin impact #genshin x you #I just know he would love Cult of the Lamb #but he would deny it completely #The same with Animal Crossing tbh #Kind of inspired in my brother who does the same but by being ten times more annoying

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ivoncu · 19 days

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𝗜 𝗪𝗔𝗡𝗡𝗔 𝗕𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗕𝗢𝗬𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗 ! — Tsukinaga Leo x reader

xxx. PLAYLIST . I wanna be your boyfriend by Hot Freaks.

— he loves you, yet he is never able to voice out what he felt towards you... But all he needs is a little push from a friend whether it was intentional or not.

xx. c : use of gender neutral terms, gender is not mentioned/specified for reader. insane levels of yearning from leo tsukinaga and some level of doubts and insecurity with him. wrote at like 10 pm on a weekday so this might be shitty, not proofread — might be ooc !

note . this is completely different from the beta... but i think i like this version better. i wrote leo as 'cool' instead of his usual 'cuteness' in mind. he's still just as pathetic though :3 maybe pathetically cool

It's a mystery how his mind works, and much less was it a miracle for him to realize everything. From the start, his feelings weren't always as platonic as he'd thought towards you. The realization alone sends him into a frenzy of denial and childishly denying his ever-growing crush on you yet always throwing a childish tantrum and sulking around his friends whenever he sees someone getting a bit too cozy with you to his liking.

Nonetheless, Leo realizes — he can't just sulk behind a corner without doing anything while hoping you'll look at him the same way as he does if he doesn't do something about it. Oh, but was it hard to even look at you in the eyes; the thought alone sends his heart into frantically thumping against his chest; his face become hotter and redder while stutter he did pathetically over his words and waste his chances... It's really no good! He wants to seem cool in front of you, but he just can never muster up the courage at all, it's annoying!

His friends were to help and give him advices when it comes to love, but none of it were exactly trying to help him. “ Be cool ” — Leo simply could not. “ Try to strike up a conversation about something you two have a common interest with! ” — if that happens, he's afraid he'll go on rambling until he talks your ears off and you'll find him annoying because of it! “ Buy them whatever they want as a gift ” — now, he isn't exactly sure if he has the type of money to do that... “ Trick them into signing a marriage contract and cling onto them forever ” — that'll just drive you away!! Leo's even more concern now, and his friends' advice weren't making him any less confident in talking to you!

To you, Leo was just a friend you occasionally see and to him, you were his whole world — one he would be more than willing to serve his heart on a silver platter to as he yearns from the side. Truly were you his love — his muse; his everything and unbeknownst to you, he had written a song or two unpublished to the public with the thought of you in mind. He grows frustrated amidst his embarrassment much to his dislike of acknowledging it.

... The sweet melody and cheesy lyrics of “ love ” — he feels like a fool! Occasionally he would lose his cool and throw the stacks of paper everywhere across and in deafening silence, he dealt with his own thoughts; how embarrassing. He's seriously doing everything but telling you how he feels.

Even as the corner of his phone lights up the dimly lit room, on the screen shows across the room with your contact number messaging him. He suppose even if he could never confess his love for you romantically, you like him just the same “ platonically? ”

He would be fine (in his words, but he is ABSOLUTELY NOT) with only liking you from afar... That is if you aren't also dating anyone else — he would go insane if you're suddenly dating someone else, and that's the conclusion his mind thought of when suddenly you had gotten so close to that Izumi Sena.

Never once had Izumi ever showed romantic interest towards you; in five people (Knights)— he obviously loves and yearned for you the most and the longest. It wasn't like they weren't aware of it. They knew you were completely off limits ever since the first time he confessed to wanting to do the cheesiest things with you to them they got sick and tired of it.

And yet, his mind he thought you like him romantically — and so did Izumi. You two were laughing at each other's joke and you were beautiful like that; bright eyes and smiling... A sudden feeling of dreadful doubt dropped down his stomach and just as suddenly he felt so sick even if it was just his insecurities.

He thought so too; maybe he's overreacting. Maybe there's nothing going on in between you two, he's sure of it! That's what he tells himself, but slowly this banter went on for days and slowly turned into weeks of utter torture for him. He saw you exchanging contacts, plan on hanging out together — and he felt jealous.

He never liked this feeling of jealousy — especially towards a dear friend like him, but with confusing emotions mixed together came unassumed anger of jealousy. His patience doesn't last long until he gets sick and tired of it and came in between you two with a glare that might've sent chills down Sena's back a bit.

Leo took your hand and ran away with you from him; dragging you far away to somewhere outside the building until his leg gives out — alas, there was only you two all alone on the park as the sun slowly sets into dusk. There was nothing going in the way between you two now.

"I'm sorry for dragging you away like that all of the sudden." He muttered, unable to look at you not for the reason may he make a fool of himself if he stares too long; but instead out of guilt overwhelming his heart.

"... But, I really can't stand it anymore, you know? I see you laughing and being happy with Sena... I want to do that with you. I want to laugh along with you and be happy just as you were with him, so I got jealous...

... This might be selfish, but I really really liked you from the start! I know compared to Sena, I'm childish and all I'm good at is writing music — he's better fit as a "boyfriend" compared to I do, but I really... Like you, [Name]! And I really wanna be your boyfriend!" All these times, the words, the doubts — he was suddenly spilling them out loud to you and he was just as surprised as you. For the first time in a while, his heart feels light from burden despite the nervousness he felt, thus he continued to spoke;

"I might not be as good as Sena — or a pretty model, but I could treat you as half as decently — if not better than he ever could! I'll even compliment you frequently if that's what you want — no, I'll compliment you a lot! " Leo's eyes lit up with sincerity and for the first time, there was confidence and a look of seriousness in his eyes as he looked into yours while gently clasping your hands in his, but he feared he was being a bit overbearing and pushy and his confidence slowly fizzled away.

"Please... Think about it, alright? Because I really like you; I truly do." His tone were calmer, but there's also a melancholic hymn to his voice despite how he tries to force out a smile to you.

He's always the happy go-lucky guy — eccentric in ways, but he always had the purest intentions in his heart. It would be kind of embarrassing if he breaks down in front of you all of the sudden.

He can't stay any longer; if he stays, he's afraid he wouldn't be able to control his emotions any longer. Slowly, he lets go of your hand and exchanged one final glance before trying to walk away — but just as that, you held onto his wrist and pulled him back which surprised him.

"Leo, don't be like that... You didn't even give me the chance to reply." You muttered, your gaze softens looking at him and he simply couldn't look away... You're just so beautiful to him.

"I like you just the same. I'm sorry for making you feel bad all these times — I... Didn't realize."

Your look of sadness sends him into frenzy, he stutters from nervousness because of you.

"H-huh...? Why're you apologizing? It should be me who's apologizing — plus, it's my fault for keeping my emotions hidden all these time from you! You didn't knew at all!"

"... You know, Leo; I had a hunch you liked me... And it wasn't like you were being discrete about it anyway."

"Ah..." Leo stays still, completely surprised. Well, it is true he couldn't keep his emotions from spilling out sometimes, but he was so sure he was being discrete about his feelings for you. He wasn't sure how to react; was he supposed to be embarrassed? Sad? Angry? Even amidst his confusion, he finds amusement in his own embarrassment. He laughs aloud, and it was like he didn't had the saddest look of melancholy in his eyes just a moment ago.

With a big grin on his face, he soon falls onto you with all of his weight and hugged you tightly. The mature and cool Tsukinaga Leo is in touch with his emotions was no longer there; he was now the childish and impatient Leo you knew from the start — and yet, that never changed a thing of how you felt towards him.

"Leo...!" You groan out, stumbling back slightly at the sudden force of his weight against you. He was using his every weight on his body towards you.

"Aha, I just can't help it — I'm so happy, [Name]! I'm really so happy!" He giggles, but his fit of energy quickly dissipates as he gently leans in closer to you, wrapping an arm securely around your waist so you wouldn't escape his hug while his other hand gently intertwine with yours.

"... Let's be together forever, [Name]."

#𓏲🗒️ꜝֶָ֢ 𓈒᮫ 𝐈𝐕 𝑜𝑓 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 #ensemble stars x reader #enstars x reader #leo tsukinaga x reader #leo tsukinaga #enstars

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grievedeeply · 1 year

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the less time, the better. pt 6.

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pairing: heimdall x gn!reader

summary: seeing your face in asgard once more is enough to send heimdall careening over the edge, running face first into the feelings he harbors for you. your mission to find the last mask piece takes you to nilfheim, where you share a heart to heart with the aesir god of foresight.

notes: it's been five months. i'm so sorry. i genuinely had no idea where to take this story and i still don't but.. this is a thank you to everyone who decided to stick around. it means a lot to me that you all still support me and my silly little fic <3 i also forgot about the entire muspelheim section.. so pretend that happened already with thor. and this is where the story really diverges from the plot, as heimdall would be dead by this point in the game's story, so ignore any plot holes i might have made (i do not plan i just write). lastly, if you have been tagged for this and don't want to be anymore, send me a pm!

you'd ran into ratatoskr on your way out of sindri's place, and he greeted you with a warm grin and a gentle hug (as much of a hug as a squirrel could give, anyway), and sent you on your way. you couldn't remember what he said to you as you passed through the mystic gateway and onto the yggdrasil, but still, you smiled at it. you wondered if he ever got tired of your family's presence there. how had sindri come to own his home in the first place? you'd have to ask him another time.. if you even managed to get back in one piece.

you wondered if people in asgard even noticed your absence at all. you were almost sure they did, seeing as you were running errands for the allfather and spending time with his lapdog. you were nearly impossible to miss and the attention was something you weren't exactly used to, but you had learned to adjust as time went on.

you kicked at the wood beneath your feet. how many times had father walked these branches before you? would he be proud of you? was he proud?

before you could think on it any further and dig yourself into an ever deeper sadness, the gateway opened and you stepped into the cold with a sigh. you loved midgard. it was your home, but the weather was something you never thought you'd get used to. all it did was remind you of your past. you pushed the door to your home ajar and your eyes met huginn's. you swore he could read your mind as he called the ravens into the room, ready to take you back to asgard.

you landed in your room— well, modi's— and looked around at the familiar yet strange surroundings that formed in your vision. this room would never be yours. it belonged to modi, and you felt guilty for taking it away from him even if he wasn't around to occupy it anymore. still, you gathered yourself and your thoughts in this room, and you were grateful. it was the only place in all of asgard where you felt at peace, but you also knew it was the only place where you had some sort of privacy. as soon as you opened the door, your mind was open to all who surrounded you.

you took in a deep, shuttering breath. it had been some time since you'd last been in asgard, and you knew you'd become a topic of conversation. it was better to face it now than to delay it any further. you pressed your shoulder against the door, pushing it open with a sigh. you came face to face with thrúd, who wore a smile. her hair was still unruly and wild, her weapons hanging from her hip and onto her backside as they always did. it was good to see something remained constant in an ever changing environment.

you'd come to like thrúd, she reminded you of atreus. even though they didn't act very similarly at all, she was young and bright— clever and courageous— and all of those things always brought your thoughts to your younger brother. you greeted her with a grin, and she turned on her heel, heading off in the direction of the mess hall. she'd come to welcome you. even without saying anything at all to each other, the smile you'd shared was enough to make your chest feel warm. she cared for you, and that was more than you ever would've expected from any of the aesir.

you stood there for a few moments, brushing the thought of her out of your mind for a few moments before you made your way down to odin's study. you didn't exactly want to see him, but you knew he would be expecting you to meet him upon your return.

the doors were much heavier than you remembered, but you forced them open despite the strange amount of weight. the room was empty, and you immediately knew where he would be. you noticed huginn and muninn in this room, and you nodded over at them in greeting. even if they couldn't speak to you, they were both somewhat intimidating. bounded to odin forever.. the idea was a horrible one. you made your way down to the rift, passing odin's desk in the process. it still felt uncomfortable for you to walk around as though you belonged.. but you tried to keep your head up about those things. if anyone were to know about your feelings in that regard, especially heimdall, he would rub it in your face.

heimdall. you grimaced at even the thought of him. odin seemed to love sending you out with him. you had only went out once with thor when finding the first piece of the mask, and you had distracted him so easily with the trials to take a peak into surtur's shrine. you'd unpack whatever you saw then another time, but you knew it was important. despite that, you'd been out with no one else except for the aesir god of foresight. heimdall was easily manipulated by his father for a man with abilities like his own. you could only assume his lack of perception stemmed from his need for validation from him. you sighed. you felt poorly for him and the way he'd been treated, but it still didn't mean you enjoyed his company.

"ah," odin greeted you once you reached the bottom of the steps, his hands coming to rest on your shoulders as they always seemed to do. it reminded you of your father, but his touch was vastly different from odin's. his hands were gentle, as though if he were to squeeze you any tighter you would break in his grip, but his.. you couldn't begin to describe it. it felt foreign, even after how common this was. you'd never get used to it. "i knew you'd come back." he said, his voice going in one ear and out the other. the man was practically insufferable, but you smiled up at him regardless, keeping your façade up that you knew he could see right through.

"next is niflheim, isn't it?" he asked, and you nodded in response. "heimdall will be joining you. it seems the two of you get along quite well." he told you, and you swore heimdall appeared out of thin air right next to you.

he stood behind you, his hands resting on both of your shoulders. his thumbs dug into your collarbone, but your back pressed against his chest. you were.. close. "we do get along, don't we?" he asked, leaning his head over your shoulder to look you in the eyes. he had gotten bolder in your absence, almost as if he had forgotten that his powers did nothing on you, which was something that still confused you. you didn't think on it too much. it was nice that he couldn't read you with his abilities, but he was still smart enough to figure it all out eventually. "we do." you grinned over at him, meeting his eyes. at this, he pulled back from you and let his grip on you loosen, but he didn't take his hands away.

"let's get it taken care of then, shall we?" odin said, gesturing for the his ravens to surround you with a flick of his wrist. "good luck." he whispered through the flock, and he disappeared from your vision. heimdall's hands finally fell from your shoulders, and he moved away from you.

being in your presence again made him feel uneasy. you were still a giant, an enemy of his people, someone he was supposed to despise no matter how helpful you may prove yourself to be. though, his heart ached whenever he heard your name. you'd wiggled your way into his heart and he hated it, but he had finally brought himself to admitting it. he practically lived by, 'the less time, the better' when it came to you. the less time he spent around you, the better it would be for him and his growing feelings, but the allfather was always intent on sending him out with you. he would try to brush it away as him being trusted. watching you was a priority, making sure you didn't sneak away to do whatever it is you do.

with this piece crossed off, there was nothing left to be done. in a different world, you'd look through the crack in the basement and see whatever odin was talking about, but you couldn't let him have this mask. you'd take it back to sindri's, away from his grasp forever. whatever this thing was.. it was no good.

the cold wind pulled you out of your thoughts, and you thanked yourself for putting on a coat before you left. you put your hand into your jacket pocket, feeling the yggdrasil key in your grasp. if things were to go wrong, sindri gave you an escape. he'd approached you right before you saw ratatoskr on the steps of his home. sindri.. all he ever did was give. he was far too good for a world as cruel as this one.

you glanced over at heimdall, who stood in front of you with crossed arms. "the mask?" he asked sarcastically, eyebrows raised in annoyance. you said nothing in response, only rolling your eyes before you held the mask out in front of you. "this way." you muttered, moving down the pathway and towards its pull. this mission was different from the one to helheim. it was quiet. you didn't have much energy to talk, but he wasn't exactly the best person to talk to, anyways. you were feeling guilty about leaving your family once again. knowing that they worried for you.. it struck a chord in your heart, and it hurt. heimdall said nothing as you walked, but you could feel his eyes practically glued onto you.

you were unbelievably hard to read almost every other time he'd seen you. the time in the mess hall where you'd teased him and stared right into his eyes and into the depths of his soul was at the front of his mind. he memorized your features in that moment, much to his dismay. he never would've expected to feel this way for a giant. he had struggled with putting a word to the emotions he'd been feeling.. but your absence made it easier to realize. once you were gone, he felt normal again, but his mind was still plagued with thoughts of you as though you never left. these feelings.. they were love. admiration. all things he should never feel for a giant, but he did believe in fate. this was meant to happen. it had to be that way. if only he could seek out the norns for reassurance that this was the decision he should make, that he needed to make. he yearned to have solidity in his choices, but he was leaping off of the deep end with this.

heimdall struggled with reading you, but now.. it was incredibly easy. your shoulders slouched and your expression cast downwards towards the icy floor beneath your feet. he hated feeling as though he needed to help you, and he kept quiet for as long as he could. had you even realized you looked so upset? even if he were to point out how saddened you looked, what would he say to you? he was never the best at comforting, being the last person anyone would go to for any sort of advice in any sense.. so he had no experience in the emotional department. when he was feeling down, who did he have to do to? no one. he grew up bottling everything inside until he couldn't anymore. did you grow up that way? you couldn't, he told himself. your mother, laufey. she wouldn't have let you feel that way.

he sighed, but took a few quick steps to reach your side. "you are dampening the mood with your dour expression," heimdall muttered, sparing a glance over at you. he noticed you looked towards him, but that was all you did. he let out a dramatic breath and held his hands behind his back, lips pressed into a thin line. "i am serious." he spoke up once again. "you will speak of what ails you, or this will be the most counterproductive trip you have ever been on, and we will get nothing done."

suddenly, you stopped in your tracks and turned to him. "do you really want to know what's wrong, or do you want to find out and then use it against me?" you asked, brows furrowed as you took a step towards him, pressing an accusatory finger at his chest. "you.. you never liked me, you never wanted me here, why pretend to care about me now?" you inquired, tone filled with frustration. heimdall confused you to no end and you wondered if you would ever get to the bottom of whatever was going on with him. hopefully you wouldn't. the less time you spend around him, the better. was it too late for that mentality? you saw him nearly every day in asgard. he was practically impossible to escape. "you.. you hate me. you're supposed to hate me." you whispered.

he said nothing in response and you rolled your eyes. "left you speechless, huh?" you chuckled dryly. taking your emotions out on him wasn't a particularly kind thing to do, you knew that. normally, you weren't one to lose control of yourself to easily. was it the change in environment? the stress? the absence of your family once again? you took in a deep breath, staring down at the clothes you wore, brushing your hand down them to straighten yourself up. "i'm.. i'm sorry. that was mean." you whispered, shutting your eyes.

this was supposed to be a serious, professional mission. this was supposed to be an in and out, simple thing. why were you making it so difficult?

heimdall still remained silent. you looked at anything except for him, your cheeks flushed in embarrassment. you weren't mad at him, not really. he had been an arrogant, bratty asshole in the past.. but he had asked if you were okay. did he care for you? in a real, genuine way?

you forced yourself to move your eyes to him. he was already looking at you, his eyes practically glued to your face. you felt tiny under his gaze, as though he could see right through you. "i am supposed to hate you." heimdall murmured, "and yet.. i don't." he told you, shrugging his shoulders. this was the most vulnerable he had ever been with you. "when you bested me the day we met.. i wanted nothing more than to prove myself better than you. i hated you for embarrassing me." he admitted to you what you knew was obvious, but you let him talk. his voice sounded less grating, now. almost like a warm birdsong in a sweet summer morning. reassuring. gentle.

"but now, i don't hate you. you are.. a giant." he lowered his voice, letting a sigh escape his lips. "i judged you based off of it. but you.. you are different. special."

you furrowed your brow. special? what was he talking about? his cheeks turned a soft pink but he didn't dare pull his eyes off of you. you were special. you made him see giants in a different light. you.. you were kind. you were beautiful in every way imaginable. if this was what love was, he was content with every bit of it.. even if you would never reciprocate.

he watched as you pursed your lips, leaning back against the balls of your feet. you bit at the inside of your cheek, sniffling. "thanks." you whispered out to him after a pause. all he could bring himself to do was nod. he kept his eyes on you. despite opening himself up to you, you stood in front of him, looking just as distressed as you did before. he knew his words of reassurance couldn't automatically cure you of your worries. he would be a fool to believe that would ever be the case. instead, he sat one hand on your shoulder, the other coming up to your cheek. he turned your head to face him and watched as your eyes met his.

"what ails you?" he repeated his words from before. now, with his hands grounding you into reality, you swallowed. his thumb caressed your skin as though you were a piece of glass or.. an expensive piece of artwork. he studied you and your expression, his eyes searching your face for anything he could make note of. like how your gaze flickered back and forth between his eyes, unable to focus on just one.

"i.. feel guilty." you admitted to him. he furrowed his brow. "guilty. what for?" he asked you. his hands still kept their hold on you. if he let go of you, would you go into that same spiral? "leaving again." you mumbled, barely loud enough for anyone to hear. he was grateful for his enhanced senses. "you should've.. you should've heard them. my brother." you said, atreus' face filling your mind. he was too sweet. he cared almost too much, sometimes. you would protect him, protect him from anything. isn't that why you came to asgard in the first place, to protect your family?

heimdall nearly froze. his brothers had never cared for him in the way you care for yours. thor was more of a colleague, working for the same man. baldur was hardly ever around when he was alive, always out tracking for the allfather. týr.. he was the only one who truly expressed any sort of love or kindness towards him, and then he was gone. he was ripped away from him, just like that. týr was his older brother. he wasn't a coworker. he was family. he pushed the thought of him out of his mind. this was about you.. not him.

"your brother. tell me of him." he told you, thumb running over your skin a few more times before he let go of you. instead, he took hold of your hand and led you to the side of the path, sitting down on a conveniently placed rock, big enough for both of you to share. even once you'd sat down, he didn't drop your hand.

"atreus.." you chuckled, turning your head to the sky. "he's so sweet. he loves animals. he loves the.. the realms for what they are. he finds the good in everyone, in everything. like.. baldur." you whispered his name. "i think of.. of baldur. of magni and modi." you turned your head to look at him. "i feel so guilty, sleeping in his room." you murmured. "it isn't mine, it's his." you swallowed. you'd been getting distracted from what he asked you to speak about, but.. had you ever spoken of them to anyone other than your father and your brother? have you even spoke of them recently at all? your father moved on from them easily, but you hung onto each of them, their memory.

"i'm sorry, i'm.. getting off topic." you chuckled breathlessly. "no," he murmured, "speak of what you wish." he told you. heimdall had never sounded so genuine, so kind. what was he trying to do? would he really use all of this as some type of leverage? your guilt, your worries and feelings? he couldn't. he wouldn't be that cruel. he had opened up to you. he liked you, you reassured yourself.

"atreus.. he has wolves. speki, svanna. fenrir."'you told him, a soft grin on your lips. heimdall found himself admiring each expression that formed on your face as you spoke, but he never let his attention drift away from your voice. "he loves those dogs. he loves.. archery, and art. he's so good at drawing. he has a- a journal. i've seen it. he fills it with anything and everything. he's so.. good." you continued, turning your head to look at him. "he deserves more than i could ever give him." you mumbled to yourself, glancing up towards the icy ceiling above you.

"he sounds.. like you." heimdall said. he sounded kindhearted, caring. loving and genuine. all things that reminded him of you. "he's better than me." you spoke through soft laughter, shaking your head nonchalantly. it was good to get these things off of your chest. you glanced over at him, your gaze soft and gentle. he found himself getting lost in you once again. your eyes held a warmth he never would've expected to see.

why did you have to be a giant? why did you have to be related to the man who killed his family? why had life dealt him a cruel hand of cards? even despite all of that, he kept his eyes on you. his feelings for you may never be accepted by asgard or even reciprocated by you at all, but that was for the best, wasn't it? this relationship you had with him was a strictly platonic one, he reminded himself. though, he turned his gaze down to look at your hands. as you were speaking, you'd entwined your fingers in his own. did you even realize you'd done it?

he squeezed your hand, and you squeezed back.

a weak grin formed on your lips and you lifted your free hand to your face, wiping away the salty tears that had begun to fall down your cheeks as you spoke. he kept his eyes on you, running his thumb across the back of your hand. realistically, he knew you would never work out. being with you was a dream.. but it was a nightmare. his family would never approve, he would be cast out and shunned by his father. could he handle that? as he looked at you, he had no doubt in his mind that he could.

you had mentioned your thoughts on his father to him before, only briefly, but it was enough for him to get an understanding of the relationship you thought he had with him. he wasn't a fool, either. even if he couldn't read your intentions he could read your expressions and your body language. you weren't his biggest fan, but you were still in asgard, helping him. for your family.

he knew you hated the allfather. why had he not killed you the moment he laid eyes upon you? he remembered the smile on your lips as you hung from the wall, the only thing keeping you up was his hand wrapped around your wrist. he should've killed you then. he shouldn't have let himself grow attached to you but you looked at him with such a soft gaze.. how could he help himself? you didn't put him up on a pedestal and that was different. it was unusual for him to be treated the same as everyone else but it felt almost decent when it came from you. he felt.. normal.

he blinked a few times. he was completely enamored with you from the moment he saw you. that was why he didn't kill you. even if he didn't realize it until now, you were the one he was meant for.

he let his mind wander for a moment. if you were to reciprocate, would that give an opportunity to mend the relationship between the giants and the aesir? he knew that you wouldn't be approved of by anyone in that sense but.. people would get used to it, right? he was his own person. he could make decisions for himself.

"i'm sorry," you muttered. heimdall furrowed his brow and shook his head. your hand remained in his own. you had to have noticed it by now. "you have nothing to apologize for." he whispered out to you. you chuckled, a small smile forming across your lips. he swore he would never get tired of seeing you happy. "never knew you could be such a softie," you told him, "but.. i like this. seeing you being genuine."

you pushed yourself to your feet, your hand falling out of his in the process. with a sigh, you grabbed the mask from your belt and spun in a circle until it turned that same familiar green color you'd seen so many times before. "let's get this done, yeah?" you peeked at him from over your shoulder, and he nodded wordlessly.

there was nothing left for him to say, anyway.

the last stretch of the trip was silent. heimdall felt as though his heart and emotions were on display to you after the conversation you'd had, but you moved on with the mission as though you barely noticed. did you notice it? were you just trying to make him feel better? he shrugged it off. he had to behave normally for the allfather, anyway. this was for the best, he told himself.

"here," you called out to him, your voice breaking the silence like a knife. "look." you held up the mask for him to look at, and he did so. it was glowing, shaking with every step you took towards the edge of the cliff. you looked down into the abyss below you with an uncomfortable expression on your features. if you were to fall, you would definitely die. before you could think on your fears any further, the mask nearly flew out of your hands. with a grunt, you tightened your grip on it, and the next mask piece flew up and attached itself onto what you held in your hands.

the force nearly knocked you over the edge, and he reached out for you, pulling you back up onto solid ground. "thanks," you mumbled, taking in a deep breath. he nodded, turning away from you. the screech of odin's ravens filled the air, and suddenly the allfather had appeared in front of you. he approached you, a grin on his lips that spread across his entire face. it was almost unsettling.

"you did it," he murmured, walking past heimdall to meet you. you noticed his expression fall. you knew odin was a professional at making his kids feel awfully about themselves, but seeing it firsthand was something you hated. no matter how horrible the things they'd done, they did it on his command. were they really to blame for it all? they yearned for his approval, after all. you pushed the thought away, focusing on the man that stood in front of you.

while you were lost in thought, thor and sif appeared in the same way odin had moments ago. they were accompanied by two valkyries who towered over you. you weren't really scared of them, though. not after you'd freed all of the corrupted ones all those years ago with your father and brother.

"they mean to kill you, allfather." sif said through pursed lips, and odin rolled his eyes, turning to face her. "i thought we were past all of this, sif." he spat her name out, fiery eyes meeting her gaze. "they are using you. they're using all of us. they're manipulating your son," she shot a glance at heimdall, and he furrowed his brow. manipulation? you wouldn't. you couldn't.

"their father killed our family." she said, turning her gaze towards you and away from her father in law. "our sons," she glanced up at thor, who gripped his hammer so hard his knuckles were turning white. "baldur." she whispered his name out, and you took in a shuddering breath. "and they get to live here, sleep in our sons room?" sif asked. "isn't it only fair they die, too?"

suddenly, thor took a few quick, bounding steps towards you. you swallowed, digging through your pocket to find your yggdrasil key. you shut your eyes, grabbing heimdall's arm with your free hand without even realizing it. "i hope this works," you whispered to yourself before throwing it down with all of your might, "hvergi!"

you felt yourself falling through the air, wind whipping past your ears until your back landed hard against the wood of the yggdrasil. you let out a breath, opening your eyes to look around at your surroundings. before you could pull yourself up on your own, you felt a hand wrapping around yours, bringing you to your feet. your father. you grinned up at him before you noticed him narrow his brow. you looked over your shoulder.

heimdall.

you'd taken him with you.

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#god of war x reader #gow x reader #god of war #gow #god of war heimdall x reader #heimdall god of war #gow heimdall x reader #heimdall #heimdall gow #heimdall gow x reader #heimdall x reader #the less time the better #tlttb

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dandelionprints · 2 years

Text

You’ll Catch A Cold

Pairing: Tommy x Y/N

Summary: Y/N catches a cold and it’s up to Tommy to look after her

Warnings: Fluff, explicit language

Word Count: 3060

A/N: I currently have a cold so I’ve used it as ‘inspiration’ for this one shot, I hope you enjoy!

I do not give permission for my work to be posted anywhere else but reblogs, comments and likes are greatly appreciated!

Tag list is here if you’d like to be added to it

Credit for GIF to creator

A warm glow from outside shone through his office window as the sun was beginning to set. He’d been stuck in his office all day making various phone calls and writing letters to people he’d rather brush off to his secretary, but he couldn’t do that, he was Thomas Shelby OBE. A politician had to keep up appearances and at least pretend they gave a shit about what other people in power had to say. Yes, he’d worked hard to get to where he was today but he couldn’t deny that he’d rather have spent his day with his wife, Y/N, out in the autumn sunshine catching the last of the years warm rays from the sun, for no doubt the mornings would soon be filled with frost and the skies clouded over with sheets of white by early afternoon.

He reached into his pocket to check the time on his pocket watch. Five thirty PM.

He took a cigarette from its holder on the desk, rolling it slightly on his lips before placing it between them and lighting it. He took a pull and allowed himself to slump a little further into his chair, exhaling as he did so. Sure, five thirty was a lot earlier for him to finish work for the day than usual but he decided that he’d allow himself that luxury. He missed Y/N.

He continued to pull on his cigarette, not really enjoying the taste any more but still craving the nicotine he was getting, as he stood from where he was sitting and began walking over to the door, grabbing his coat on the way.

“Mr. Shelby, sir”, came the voice of his head maid, Frances. She’d been on her way towards his office and looked almost surprised to see him already exiting his office so early in the day.

“Yes?”

“Do you know where Mrs. Shelby is? I haven’t seen her since early afternoon. I thought she might have popped out with Ada but I saw Ada leaving on her own not too long ago”

His heart started to pick up pace a bit although he was sure Y/N would be absolutely fine, she’d probably gone for a walk around the grounds of Arrow House as she quite often did, or to the stables where he often found her when she was feeling down. ‘The horses listen, I don’t need to try with them. I can just talk and talk without the fear of judgement’, she’d say.

“No, I haven't seen her, Frances. It’s okay, I’m just on my way outside to find her. She’s probably in the stables grooming her horse”

“Yes Mr. Shelby”, she nodded, “I’ll pop the kettle on and make some tea, I can imagine she’ll need to be warmed up after being out there, the temperatures dropped something rotten”, she turned on her heel and started walking towards the kitchen.

Tommy continued to make his way towards the door leading out onto the grounds forecourt and made sure to grab his peaky cap on the way. He couldn’t deny the truth in Frances’ words as he stepped out onto the gravelled floor, there really was a bite in the air. The sun looked deceiving as it shone through the slowly yellowing leaves on the trees, you’d think you could still go without a coat if you knew no better than to trust the inconsistent British weather. He threw his now burnt out cigarette onto the floor.

The stables weren’t too far from the house and as he made his approach, he could hear his wife softly singing to herself, or to the horses in fact, a sound that he always loved. A smile crept onto his face as she came into view.

“Thought I’d find you here”, he spoke.

She jumped slightly at the sudden sound, bringing up a hand towards her chest.

“God, you fucking frightened me!”

Tommy only let out a chuckle in response and made his way over to his wife, the smile from the sound of her singing still placed on his lips.

“I love hearing you sing to yourself, it’s one of my favourite sounds in the world you know”. He placed a hand on either side of her waist and pulled her in slightly to give her a kiss as her hands gently reached up to grab his coat by the lapels.

“What time is it? It’s still light, I didn’t think you’d be finished with work until much later this evening”

“Five thirty or thereabouts. I thought I’d give myself the evening off to spend with my beautiful wife who I’d usually be happy with not wearing many layers of clothing but who in this instance I’m worried is going to catch a cold from the lack of layers”

She was wearing a light blue summer dress with no tights and a cream coloured cardigan, not nearly enough to keep the late autumn chill off. She’d fallen victim to the deceit of the sun, believing it to be a lot warmer than it looked outside that morning when she’d rolled out of bed alone and stood in front of the window that had the curtains already pulled apart slightly. She knew Tommy must have gotten up and gone over to the same spot that she was now standing in to check that no unwanted visitors were outside, he did the same thing every morning.

She couldn’t deny that she’d begun to lose the feeling in her fingertips and the tip of her nose felt numb from the bitter bite of the breeze that came in through the slats of the stable door, she could just about feel her nose dripping slightly. She quickly gave her nose a swift wipe with the handkerchief that she kept up her cardigan sleeve.

“I figured that it wouldn’t be as cold as it is and I didn’t plan on being out here for too long, I only came outside to wave goodbye to Ada then I thought I’d check on the horses, before I knew it I’d been out here for at least an hour. Y’know, you get quite used to the cold when you’re distracted. The horses are good company”.

“That they might be, love, but I need to know that my wife is looking after herself and isn’t suffering from hypothermia, now c’mon, lets get inside. Frances has made you a fresh pot of tea”, he was already removing his coat and placing it around Y/N’s shoulders.

“Tea sounds delightful Mr. Shelby, will you be joining me?”

“It would be my pleasure, love”.

He playfully smacked her bum as his signal to start moving towards the stable door and back to the house. She giggled and did as she was instructed, wrapping Tommys coat tightly around her frame.

***

Once inside the house, Tommy had insisted that Y/N go upstairs to their bedroom and get into something warmer. She’d chosen to go for a pair of his boxer shorts and one of his knitted jumpers that he only wore when it was the two of them, usually during the winter months in the evening when they were relaxing in front of the fire before bed. Sure the items of clothing she’d chosen certainly weren't the warmest but the boxers felt comfortable and the jumper was big on her, perfect to snuggle up in. She lifted it up towards her nose and tried to breathe in his scent, only to find that her nose had now lost its ability to smell and instead was now completely blocked. Shit.

‘Tommy’s not going to shut up about this, guess I’ll have to try and pretend I’m not ill’, she thought to herself.

Putting on the boxers and the jumper, she went to the chest at the end of the bed and took out her favourite blanket, the one that Tommy had bought her for her birthday knowing that she loved nothing more than to be wrapped up in a blanket in front of the fire with a cup of tea when the nights were chilly. She smiled at the memory of opening it on her birthday, the joy and excitement that came with it, as she wrapped it around herself and sat in front of the already lit fire. Frances must have been in to light it just before they got back into the house.

“One cup of tea, Mrs. Shelby”

Tommy walked into the room holding a cup of tea on a saucer in each hand, a biscuit or two placed next to the cups.

“Oh why thank you, my love. You do spoil me”, she reached out and took one of the saucers, giving Tommy a peck on the cheek as she did so.

“That’s my job, to keep you happy”, he bent down further to place a soft kiss on her lips.

Frances had insisted on bringing them the tea herself but Tommy had told her he wanted to spend the evening with his wife alone and that although he was grateful for her help, he wanted to be the one to do the basic everyday things he quite often forgot he used to do before the money was rolling in and maids were there at the drop of a hat to tend to his every need. Even if that was something as simple as bringing a cup of tea to his wife.

He took a seat opposite Y/N in front of the fire and placed his own cup and saucer down onto the table that sat between them.

“How was it with Ada? What did you talk about?”

“Oh you know, the usual. About the kids, about politics, about how you work such long hours…”

“You know I have to, Y/N, there’s business that needs to be done”

“I know, Tom. I’ve heard it all before, business first, personal life second, I should really be used to it now”, she paused, “it’s just, I wish we could have at least one day a week where you put the business second and personal life first, just one”

“So that’s why you were out with the horses? To talk to them about your thoughts?”

She nodded in response and he felt his heart drop, he hated the fact that his wife was feeling the way she was and it was all because of him.

“I’m sorry, you’re right. I shouldn’t be putting business first all the time, I know that. It’s just, I’ve worked so fucking hard to get to where I am I’m afraid that if I slow down, even for a second, that I’ll drop the ball and it’ll all be gone”

Y/N stood from her chair and closed the small gap between herself and Tommy, cupping his face with one hand and holding her blanket around her with the other. Tommy wrapped both arms around her.

“That, Mr. Shelby, won’t happen. You’re too headstrong and determined to let that happen. All I ask is for one day a week where you let yourself relax and at least spend a bit of time with me, I feel like I spend most of my days missing you”

Another pang to his chest.

“I miss you too, I really do. I’ll do everything I can to make sure I spend as much time with you as possible and I’ll start doing the one day a week thing too, someone’s got to make sure you bundle up before you go outside”, he chuckled as Y/N tried to hide her smile, giving him a playful nudge to the chest.

“Thank you, it’ll mean the world to me”, she bent back down so that her face was level with Tommy’s, giving him a kiss before standing up straight again.

His eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“Is that my jumper?”

Y/N took the two steps back towards her chair and sat down, picking up her tea and taking a sip. She jokingly looked around the room, ignoring his gaze as his eyes bore into her chest, the cream coloured material showing through the gap between either side of the blanket that had come away from each other.

“Hmm, thought it was”, he chuckled and shook his head slightly, he couldn’t give a fuck if it was his or not, he just knew she looked good in it. Then again, he thought she looked good in anything she wore.

His eyes wandered upwards and began to study her face properly, he noticed that her eyes looked a bit glassy and that her nose was slightly red, he could see her fighting the urge to sniff.

“I knew it! I fucking told you! You’ve caught a cold”, he seemed almost smug that he’d been right about the amount of layers she’d been wearing earlier, “looks like you’ll be getting the Doctor Shelby treatment”

“I have not!”, she exclaimed, her eyes widening, so much for trying to hide that she was ill, “Anyway, what's the ‘Doctor Shelby’ treatment?”

“Well“, it appears that you are in fact ill, and will be requiring someone to look after you. Therefore, I see it as my duty to fulfil that post and tend to your every need. I shall bring you cups of tea, fetch you more blankets, bring you tissues, run baths and lay in bed with you for as long as you so wish. You may not lift a finger to do anything, your husband, or in this case, doctor, will do everything for you”.

“Well doctor, that all sounds amazing! And how long may I ask is this service valid for?”

“For tonight and tomorrow, my love. Shit, sorry, that was unprofessional. You have my services tonight and tomorrow, Mrs Shelby”

“You mean you’re taking the day off of work to look after me? What will you tell them? That your idiot wife didn’t wear enough layers outside and that you’re now stuck at home while she lays in bed sniffing and sneezing her pathetic little nose off with a cold?”

Almost as if to give an example, her nose began twitching and she let out a sneeze, managing to stop herself from making as loud of a noise as she could have. Tommy handed her his handkerchief from his waistcoat pocket.

“Yes I’ll tell them exactly that”

She rolled her eyes and smiled, bringing her now cooling cup of tea to her lips again.

“Do you really think that’s wise? Missing a day off work because I have a cold? You’ve got a reputation to uphold. I mean I know I’ve just said to you that I want to spend more time with you but it doesn’t need to be for you to look after me. Please, Tom, go to work. I’ll be fine! I’ve got Frances and the rest of the staff I…”

“No I won’t hear of it, I want to take the day off to look after you. Besides, when was the last time we actually got to spend time together, eh?”

She pondered for a moment, she knew that he was right. Tommy would get up so early in the morning that she either slept right through or was half asleep when he’d roll over to her and place a kiss on her face before pulling himself out from underneath the covers and to the bathroom. The only times she’d see him in the day if he was at home would be when she’d go to say good morning once she’d gone downstairs, sometimes at lunch when she’d convince him to stop his work for fifteen minutes and get some food down him and then again in the evening once work was over if he’d finished early enough to catch her before she went to bed. She’d lost count of the amount of times she’d stay up waiting for him to come to bed, only to find her eyes growing heavier by the minute, finally allowing them to close fully and drift off into a much needed sleep. She would often wake in the middle of the night to find a blanket draped over her along with Tommy’s arm pulling her in towards him.

She couldn’t deny that getting to spend a whole day with him at home sounded like an absolute dream, even if she was ill.

“Okay, but promise me you’ll come up with something better than ‘my wife is an idiot’ when you tell them you won’t be in please”.

She sniffed again as she felt her nose tickle, trying, but failing, to stop another sneeze from coming.

He laughed, “yes love, don’t worry about that. Besides, I’m Tommy fucking Shelby, I do what I want, when I want”, the cheeky smile that she loved so much appeared on his face and she felt her stomach flip.

She composed herself and managed to utter the words, “Oh, is that so?”

“You know it is, love”

“Well then Tommy fucking Shelby, what is it you want to do now?”, a smirk was playing on her lips, she loved watching his mind race, it was almost as though she could see it happening behind his bright, blue eyes.

“That’s doctor Shelby to you”

“Oh yes, sorry ‘doctor’ Shelby, how are you going to cure me?”

“Well, first things first, let’s get you into bed, you need your rest”

He stood from his chair and made his way over to Y/N, scooping her up in his arms, blanket and all. He softly kissed her forehead as he felt his arms wrap around her.

“It’s still early, you haven’t even had a sip of your tea or had your supper yet”, Y/N wrapped her arms around the back of Tommy’s neck, enjoying the warmth that she could feel radiating from his body.

“That's okay, I’m about to do something really unprofessional and have a snack”

With that he threw Y/N onto the bed, ready to devour her, every inch.

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mins-fins · 8 months

Text

GENESIS (P.GW)

SUMMARY . . . even with everything hectic going on in his life, he will always be there for him.

PAIRING . . . park gunwook x male!reader

GENRE . . . fluff, angst

WARNINGS . . . mentions of sleep deprivation, and neglectful parenting

WORD COUNT . . . 1.7k

NOTES . . . this is how i cope with the fact that pretty much no one in my household cares about me or my well-being, or even respects me (the baby who can't speak loves me more than the sentient adults and children do) enough of that depressing stuff though because i love gunwook yay!

"seojun chew your food! stop spitting at haneul!"

"i— yuri! don't throw your food! i have to clean that later, you know!"

if you can't tell, y/n is currently at the end of the line right now. he groans and lets his head fall onto the counter, listening to the back and forth bickering of his three child siblings. it's 6:49 pm, and he is so so tired.

for the past four hours all he's simply been taking care of his brothers and sister, like he always does on the weekdays when he isn't working. he dislikes feeling tired; because there's still so much more to do even if they're already in the evening.

y/n can't remember the last time he earned a proper break, or was actually treated his age. his mom (who he absolutely despises at the moment and will probably despise forever), decided to have kids right when her son began high school, which means that he is now an eighteen year old high school graduate with two four year old boys and a three year old girl on his hands.

and y/n is as stressed as can be. it's not like before his mother was this amazing, flawless parent who did a good job at raising him, she wasn't, he had to learn every single basic life skill on his own because his mom was busy gambling away their money.

when he was ten she swore to him that he'd get better.

but she never really did.

and now she's out throwing all her money away at the casino, whilst he stays over at home making sure her kids are well fed, can sleep properly at night, and don't kill each other as they're trying to do now.

y/n knows it's not his job to do this, these aren't his kids, he can move out any time he pleases and leave his mom to actually have responsibility over her own children for once in her life, but he just doesn't have the heart to leave them.

he's practically raised these kids since the first day they came home from the hospital. he's the one who gave the twins their nicknames, the one who was present when all three of them walked for the first time, spoke their first words, began responding to him and what he'd say.

they're not his kids, he didn't choose to bring them into this world, but at the same time, he won't just leave them. he's been.. searching, trying to find a place whilst also trying to provide for his siblings at the same time, he barely makes minimum wage, he doesn't even know if he could rent a place.

as he stares at his young siblings, now cleaned up and simply watching cartoons while sitting on the couch. he sighs, simply wanting to collapse onto the floor and not get up for a long amount of time and just.. not exist anymore.

sometimes it gets so difficult, having to go to school five days a week, pick up his siblings from daycare then proceed to take care of them until their bedtime, make sure the house is clean, then watch as his mom strolls in at midnight, having wasted her money and usually wasted herself. he'd then work for a full 10 hours on saturday and sunday.

wow, his life is crazy is it not?

and he just turned eighteen like.. yesterday.

it pisses him off, yeah, but at the end of the day, he just deals with the circumstances of his life. he's gotten used to being the responsible one, being the one who takes care of the kids and is constantly sleep deprived.

y/n is about to fall asleep on the kitchen counter, the sound of the tv playing just melting into the air as he feels his eyes grow heavier and heavier by the second. his head is about to fall onto the counter when the doorbell rings, startling him.

y/n rubs his eyes, attempting to blink away the tiredness as he stands up and walks towards the door. he tells his siblings to continue watching tv and ignore it, when he opens the door, he smiles at who he sees.

"gunwook".

gunwook smiles, holding up a plastic bag. y/n tilts his head, raising an eyebrow. "what is in that exactly?" he inquires, and his boyfriend chuckles at him.

"candy" he responds simply. the three kids on the couch immediately perk up at the sound of the word "candy", toothy grins coming to their face.

"candy!?" haneul squeals, practically sprinting his way towards gunwook, he jumps up and down, seemingly energetic before even eating the sugary treats.

"if you want candy, sit down okay?" y/n places his hand on his head, ruffling his hair. haneul stares at his older brother, his boyfriend, then back at the couch where his own siblings are kicking their feet.

haneul shuffles his way back to the couch, and gunwook closes the door. y/n stares at him tiredly, but he smiles at the sight of him. "candy at seven pm? really?"

"what? your siblings deserve something sweet!"

"well, you didn't just witness them trying to kill each other with spaghetti, did you?"

gunwook shoves his partner's shoulder lightly, and y/n laughs. "okay, not too much candy, they have to sleep at night" he just earns a grin from gunwook, who nods.

"i got it y/n, you tell me all the time".

"you buy my siblings sweets all the time".

"because i love them" gunwook opens the bag as he says those words, and haneul gasps in delight. "just one piece, okay? your bedtime is soon".

seojun agrees, his voice muffled because of the treat he's chewing. haneul nods happily, and yuri gives a thumbs up, kicking her feet. gunwook gives the three a huge smile, enamored but their cuteness.

y/n stares at the scene unfolding before him, smiling fondly as he watches. gunwook isn't a kid person, but gunwook adores his siblings, always willing to come over to just see them.

the two have been dating for maybe half a year, but they've been friends for much longer than that. gunwook knows about y/n's situation, how he's stuck taking care of siblings because even though he wants to leave, he doesn't have the heart to leave them because his mom can't provide for them.

gunwook usually always comes over, whenever y/n is especially tired and simply feels like he can't do anything, gunwook will keep his siblings company as he collects himself.

of course, having to take care of your three child siblings whilst just becoming an adult yourself can take a huge mental toll on someone, and y/n isn't really doing well in this situation.

he blinks and sighs, covering his face in his hands as he feels his body about to slump over. he really just wants to fall on the floor and not wake up for a super long time.

when he focuses again, gunwook is now coloring with the three, who (surprisingly) stopped eating their candy and didn't ask for any more. gunwook has always had this power, he's always been able to easily calm down the kids amazingly.

a sort of charm, maybe.

gunwook notices his partners silence and turns to look at him, blinking. "y/n? everything okay?"

y/n hums, focusing once more. "yeah just.. tired".

gunwook stares, a knowing glint in his eye. he then looks back to the three coloring and smiles at them. "you guys continue, okay? i'm just gonna go talk to y/n".

the three nod, quickly going back to their coloring sheets and completely ignoring when gunwook stands up and turns y/n's way.

y/n is confused for a moment, he's about to question what gunwook meant but he quickly wraps an arm around his waist, nudging him lightly in the waist as they begin walking down the hallway.

"when was the last time you got a full eight hours of sleep, babe?" he immediately asks when the two of them are far away enough from the kids, y/n chuckles depressingly, because they both already know the answer to that question.

"do my eye bags not give it away?"

y/n laughs awkwardly, and gunwook simply glares at him.

"y/n" gunwook grabs his hands, and y/n shuts his eyes. "you really need to leave, what? are you gonna do this forever?"

"i'm not i just—" y/n pauses, god he's so tired, he feels like he can barely get his words out at this point. "i can't leave, it feels selfish to leave".

"it's not selfish to leave if your already doing everything, y/n, think about yourself, please?"

gunwook's words are said simply, he doesn't raise his voice, his tone doesn't change, he just tells it to y/n how it is, he tells him his opinion calmly and without issue.

ah, charms.. as usual.

y/n grasps his hands harder, as if he never wants to let go. he processes the words but he can't find a way to respond to them, for some reason. he blinks, staying quiet.

"i'll find you something y/n" gunwook whispers. "and you'll finally be able to live your own life, and take care of yourself, and.. you'll be fine".

y/n laughs silently. "your corny".

"corny? really?"

y/n laughs again.

"y/n, i just want you to be happy, you deserve to be happy, you deserve good things" gunwook says, and y/n somehow keeps the tears from falling from his eyes.

y/n lightly nudges him, and gunwook puts his arm around his waist once again. "you are corny".

"you love my corniness".

"yes, yes i do, how'd you know?"

they laugh, and y/n takes a few more seconds to simply stare fondly at gunwook. of course, his life wasn't ideal, his life wasn't amazing, he had many struggles it'd take a while to deal with.

but he had gunwook, gunwook was there for him, and that was more than enough.

gunwook was there for him.

and he's always will be.

#park gunwook #zerobaseone #zb1 #zb1 gunwook #park gunwook x reader #zb1 imagines #zb1 scenarios #zb1 drabbles #park gunwook imagines #𑁍 ࣪˖ 𓂃 isa's works!

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t-h-i-n-g · 1 year

Note

can you do some cute max mayfield x reader fluff?? Ik you get a lot of Max requests but i love her sm 😭

Come Over

(gif not mine credits to owner)

a/n: how I came up with this was just looking up fluff prompts and came across "Why'd you call me?" "I missed your voice," and just kinda went off of that. Ty for requesting :))

word count: 800

summary: max's original plan of spending the night at the wheelers is changed as she gets a phone call from a special someone and she is more than happy to take up their request.

warnings: none but some light swearing

st - masterlist m.masterlist

-------------

Max was tired.

Dealing with teenage boys hyped up on sugar and deciding to yell at a TV over a show that she didn’t care to know the name of was draining.

Max rubbed her temples when Mike once again jumped up from his spot on the couch, hand pointing at the screen in an accusatory matter. Silently she glared at him as it took him no longer than five seconds to watch the conflict be solved. Sitting back down he went back to zoning in on the action-packed bit.

Shifting her gaze she looked at the floor, where poor little El just sat in tranquility and a smile on her face, wrapped in a blanket.

Huffing to herself, Max just couldn’t comprehend how an overall sweet, caring human being could find peace in a wack-ass person that barely showers three times a week.

Dragging a hand down her face, she glanced at the clock resting on a side table. It was only 7:00 pm and she had signed up for a night full of binging.

Technically nothing was holding her back from leaving, but she had nothing else better to do.

Billy was home tonight and she didn’t want to hear him bitching about the number of times she had brought her girlfriend over.

Who wasn’t even here. When Max found out you couldn’t make it she threw a little fit. Stating she won’t be able to stay sane if you didn’t go with her.

But she guesses, visiting your brother that lives in another state was a good enough excuse.

Still, she couldn’t help but feel a little empty not having you cuddled up next to her on the recliner like usual.

“He just needs to stop.”

“You’d think getting nailed in the gut would tell him to back off, but no.”

“There he goes again. Just give up, you’re gonna get pummeled.”

“He practically already did.”

“Literally though.”

This was the third time they’d had this conversation. Seemingly they have to continue to break apart with every little repeating event.

Just as Max was about to tell them to just shut up with the commentary, footsteps came down the basement stare.

“Max, somebody on the phone wants you,” Nancy informed. Not giving her time to ask questions Nance went back up the way she came.

Furrowing her brows, she pushed off the chair and stepped over the bodies littering the floor. Nobody paid her any mind, still too tranced by the TV in front of them.

Confusion crowded her mind with the thought of who wanted to talk to her. Opening the door, Max shuffled across the kitchen tiles, moving to the phone.

With slight hesitation she picked up the object, placing it to her ear.

“Hello?” She greeted.

“Hey.” Max’s heart jumped to her throat.

“Y/n? What are you doing?”

“Calling you duh.” Max’s face grinned at your playful tone.

“I mean why are you calling me?”

“Missed your voice, shit kinda went sideways today,” you mumbled.

“Did something bad happen?”

“Our flight was canceled cause the pilot wasn’t available and they weren’t able to get another one.”

“Oh, sorry to hear that.”

“It’s all good though,” you assured. “Just kinda ticked off that we had to drive like 3 hours just to be told to turn back around. But it’s fine. I called your house but Billy answered and said some shit like, ‘Skrew you and your dog, Max is at the Wheelers’ I don’t know why he dragged my dog into it but he told me where you were so it’s alright, I guess.” Max chuckled, twirling the phone cord around her finger.

“So you’re back home then?” She asked.

“Mhm,” you affirmed, “Was just calling to see if you wanted to come over or something tonight. It’s been a long day, I just want to see you.”

Max bit her lip to conceal her smile at your statement. She could never understand how you made her feel like such a giddy schoolgirl.

“But if you’re doing something with the party I get it-”

“No!” she cut you off quickly. She cleared her throat, shocked by her own little outburst. “I mean we aren’t really doing anything. They’re just watching some lame show. If you want I could ask Karen if you could come over.”

“Eh,” you sounded, “I was kinda hoping if it could be just you and me, but if you want to hang with them I get it.”

Max just knew she looked like the Cheshire cat with the way the smile on her face was splitting her cheeks.

“No, no it’s fine. We can just hang out. The others are too into their TV to miss me too much anyway,” she stated.

“Cool, I’ll pick you up in ten.”

“Cool,” she repeated.

“See you soon, Max.” Her heart fluttered at the sound of you using her name, but she quickly shook the fealing away.

Seriously she was getting way too into the school girl in love act.

However, she didn’t pay it another thought as she darted out of the room and down the stairs. Grabbing her stuff, she explained to the others you were coming to pick her up.

“But it’s just getting to the best part!”

“Shut up, Dustin. You’ve said that like seven times already.”

-----------

likes and reblogs are appreciated :)

#max mayfield imagine #max mayfeild #max mayfield fanfiction #max mayfield x reader #max mayfeild x reader #max mayfield fanfic

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thefrontofmymind · 10 months

Text

Proof Positive 3

a/n: wtf??? i'm updating something 2 days in a row?? this is so unlike me

series masterlist

The morning after, you got out of bed around the time you always did and you got ready for work. With a gentle whisper to a half-awake Ross that you were leaving, you were out the door.

You tried not to think about it, you hid it in a cupboard in your mind but that didn’t mean it was banging on the locked door. It must’ve been expectant mothers day on the tube because you counted no less than five pregnant women sitting in your carriage. Well, six, actually.

You kept laser focus on your work all day, even through the nausea and exhaustion. It wasn’t until you looked at your schedule did you realise that the tour that you’d been painstakingly organising every little detail of would begin in a mere two weeks. Ross would be leaving in two weeks. Twelve days to be exact. It gave you a jolt; you needed to act, and quickly. You booked an appointment with your GP for the day after tomorrow. You googled what to do, what to say to her, what she’ll say to you. You wanted as much control as you could get.

She would probably ask for either a blood test or a urine sample and she would test you herself. And then she would explain all the options you had. You knew it was early days, it was still an embryo, it didn’t even have a heart, it’d barely grown a brain. It had no thoughts and no pain receptors, it made you feel a little better. It wasn’t a baby yet.

You got a text from Ross at around 4 PM, ‘had to go back to mine to get some clothes, youre free to come over?’. You typed out a quick reply, ‘sounds good. see you soon xx’.

You placed your phone onto your desk and finished writing an email to some venue manager who had questions about the band’s rider. Another ping erupted from your phone, you took a quick glance at the new message from Ross; ‘how are you feeling?’, you didn’t know how you felt, so you didn’t answer.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

As you entered Ross’ flat, using the key he gave you a year ago when he moved in, you heard…talking. More than one person. In the living room was Ross, along with Adam and Carly. Like a switch that flipped, you were bright and happy–you couldn’t let them know what was happening.

A chorus of surprised greetings, questions on why you’ve shown up at Ross’ flat.

“She just can’t resist my cooking…” Ross joked. You didn’t fail to notice the inflection he had, you just prayed that Carly and Adam missed it.

There was some chatter between the boys–something technical with a song they were in the process of recording–and between you and Carly. You were telling her all about the tour, you could pretty much whip up any detail for the next ten months from the top of your head. And she had many questions about where her fiance was going, and when. You got to thinking…There was very well the possibility that things regarding the tour would have to change. In about eight months or so yours and Ross’ lives could change drastically.

Ross slowly made his way to the kitchen, prepping ingredients for a stir fry. The couple got the hint, making a polite exit and telling you both to enjoy yourselves–whatever that meant.

You silently watched Ross cooking, sipping on the glass of squash you made yourself. He kept stealing glances at you, you pretended to be oblivious.

It felt like your bubble burst. The bliss you felt, this honeymoon stage, it was all over. Everything had been so natural before–the kisses, the casual touches, the pillowtalk–but now it was all just so forced.

You picked at the food on your plate, you didn’t want to tell him the smell of it made you nauseous. You told him about your day at work, how the final plans for the tour were going.

“So we’re just not talking about it?” He asked after yet another story from you about a rude venue manager or a misunderstanding with your travel agent over the band and crew’s visas.

“I made a doctor’s appointment for Friday…she’ll tell me if it’s…real,” you answered.

“You wanna go alone?”

“You wanna come with me?” It was a genuine question.

“I told you I’m here for you,” he said. “However you want me, I’ll be there.”

You were looking right into his eyes, and he was looking in yours. At the unwavering eye contact you were comforted, you knew there was a shred of falsehood in his words.

“It’s at three in the afternoon…” You told him. “You could meet me there?”

“I’ll pick you up from the office.”

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

The waiting room smelled like bleach. Like the linoleum floors had been scrubbed recently. The loudest sound was emitting from the small TV anchored to the wall in front of you and Ross–some daytime soap opera with characters you couldn’t understand the relations of, no matter how hard you tried.

Sitting across from you was a young guy, probably around 25 or so, cradling a little girl who was drifting in and out of sleep. She was tiny, a toddler still with the chunky limbs of a baby, and a mess atop her head of golden ringlets that probably hadn’t been brushed that day.

As the doctor called your name, you immediately jumped up. You didn’t see the large form next to you rise with you.

“Do you want me…” Ross trailed off from his seat, gesturing towards the corridor you were about to walk down.

“Please.”

Once you and Ross sat down in her office and got comfortable, she began to speak in a light and friendly tone. “So what brings you in?”

“Well…” you started. “I…my period was late so I took one of those early detection tests and it was positive.”

“A pregnancy test?”

You nodded.

“Okay.” She began to type out some notes on her computer. “Is your cycle regular?”

“To a tee, I’ve never been even a day late before.”

“So how many days?”

“Four.”

“And how long has it been since your last period?”

You thought for a second. “About a month?”

“Right.” She finished typing and turned back towards you. “I’ll get you to do a test here if that’s alright. I’m guessing this is the…father?”

“Yes, right, this is Ross,” you said. They exchanged a polite greeting.

The doctor handed you a small plastic jar. “Bathroom is just down to the left, you can’t miss it.”

About 10 minutes later the results were ready. Instinctively you grabbed Ross’ hand as your doctor looked at the much more clinical looking test.

“Two lines…which means it’s positive,” she said. Your brain began to tick into overtime, it was like time slowed almost to a stop.

In that moment, knowing it was real, you felt a sense of comfort. You didn’t know how, but somehow you got the sense that you could do it, and it would all be alright, you could make it work. A warmth spread through your abdomen–though that was just your mind. You became aware of the hand you were holding in a vice-like grip. Ross was with you, you wouldn’t be alone, you could very well have a family with the man next to you. You could be there for each other through all this, you were a team.

“Oh my god…” was all you could say, a soft smile spreading across your face. You looked at Ross, mirroring your smile.

“I should talk to you about options,” your doctor said after a minute of letting you bask in the happiness.

“I want to keep it,” you said instantly.

You smiled at Ross again, he raised his eyebrows–silently asking “really?”–you nodded.

“Well then,” she laughed. “I’ll give you the name of a good OB, he’s the one who delivered my two girls…” She was messily writing on a notepad. “And this is a good brand of prenatal vitamins.” She opened a drawer of her desk and retrieved a pamphlet. “And here’s just some guidelines for the early stages, what not to eat, symptoms you might have, all that.”

“Thanks,” you said after she handed you the bundle of information.

“I’d suggest booking within the next week, you might just be far enough along for a proper ultrasound.”

You didn’t say another word until you were out of the building and walking to the closest tube station, to the line that would take you right to Ross’. “A baby…”

“I know,” he chuckled.

“Are you okay with this all? Sorry…I didn’t know what my answer would be in there…”

“Listen to me.” He stopped walking, taking your hand in both of his and fiddling with your fingers. “There is no one else I would rather do this with.”

“Out of everyone in the entire world?” You laughed.

“No one else.”

“Not even Waugh?”

“Don’t tell him that I pick you…” He said in a hushed tone, to which you couldn’t help burst out laughing.

You couldn’t describe the joy you were feeling. The bubble of bliss was back for you both.

That night you slept easy, in the arms of the father of your baby, the three of you together–at least for now.

#ross macdonald x reader #ross macdonald imagine #ross macdonald fic

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talesofesther · 2 years

Text

we're still here

Max Mayfield x Reader

Summary: Max broke both your hearts with the hopes of keeping you safe, but now the pain and loneliness are becoming too much.

Requested by anon: What do you think about a scenario where Max breaks up with her gf because all the thing going on with El was way too dangerous and she didn't want R involved in it, but when Billy dies Max ends up sneaking into Reader's room saying that she doesn't want to lose her too?

A/N: A little something with this sweet girl before I fully dive into another big story with Eddie <3.

Masterlist

The words you had written in your textbook were becoming blurry. After around two hours of sitting at your desk to finish your literature assignment, it was a long-awaited relief when you finally wrote down the last sentence.

You let go of your pen with disdain, bringing both hands up to rub at your tired eyes, you felt a stinging sensation for looking at those damn words for so long.

The clock on your bedside table read 11:47 PM when you glanced at it. Technically you should be asleep already, you knew the lack of rest would be bugging you tomorrow. Closing your textbook and throwing it inside your backpack, you started to get ready for bed.

You were stacking up your clothes from earlier today on top of your desk chair — not having the energy to bother putting them in your wardrobe — when you heard a quiet click.

You frowned, looking around your room and waiting if the noise would happen again. And it did. After two more clicks, you realized that someone was throwing rocks at your window.

With an annoyed sigh, you begrudgingly made your way to your window, ready to scold whoever wanted to disturb you on a Tuesday at fucking midnight.

The night sky was clear today, with only a few scattered clouds about, making room for countless stars. It was cold out, and given that your house was surrounded by trees, it was even colder.

Your room was on the second floor, so you looked down in search of the intruder; and the anger you were feeling dissipated just like that, most of it, at least.

Max Mayfield stood on top of the freshly cut lawn, arms hugging her body, which was covered only by a thin blue jacket, as she shivered from the cold, looking up at you with an expression you couldn't really read from this far.

Your story with Max was… bittersweet; if you'd ever had to choose a word for it. You'd met her at school, not long after she first came to town. You didn't exactly see eye to eye in the beginning, but after a couple of months, some bickering, teasing from friends and just a smidge of denial, she had finally asked you out.

Falling for each other happened so naturally, that you and Max had been dating even before any of you thought to put a name to it. It didn't last long though; after five months, Max broke things off, breaking both your hearts along with it. She hadn't given you a solid reason for it, and that's what infuriated you most, just a halfheartedly mumbled excuse of "it's better this way."

You didn't know Max had chosen your safety over the sake of her heart. You didn't know she preferred to have you hating her, than not having you at all.

"What… what are you doing here, Max?" You managed to ask, peering over your window.

Max curled in on herself, glancing down at her feet with a gulp before looking up at you again. "I just- wanted to talk?" More than anything, her words sounded like an unsure question, Max cursed herself for the tone.

"Can I come up?" She pursed her lips, half expecting you to say no.

and you were going to say no, but something in her voice stopped you. Her tone was vulnerable, breaking on a few syllables.

"Yeah, whatever." You waved a dismissive hand at her, moving away from your window and sitting on top of your bed, hugging the covers closer to you.

She struggled a little, you heard it, and held yourself back from helping. Eventually, she managed her way up, climbing through your window quite gracefully.

Max's worn sneakers were wet and a little muddy because of the rain that had poured down earlier, she followed your gaze to her feet and grimaced, making quick work of removing them as a faint blush painted her freckled cheeks.

You didn't like the way your heart sped up at the sight of her. It felt awkward. You sitting cross-legged on your bed and Max just standing there in the middle of your room, it felt painfully awkward. Tension hanging heavily in the air, from memories you both grew too attached to let go of.

You cleared your throat, not being able to meet her eyes. "Why did you come here, Max?"

Max sighed, forcing her words out; "this is gonna sound selfish but, I wanted to see you." Her voice grew quieter as she spoke, fingers mindlessly fidgeting with the hem of her jacket.

You couldn't hold back the scoff that escaped you. "See me? Not even two months after you tell me to fuck off, and you want to see me again?" There was a bite to your tone, anger dripping from your words because you were hurt, and you missed her, and you hate how much you want to kiss her now. "I mean, you gotta make up your mind."

"I didn't tell you to fuck off." Max shot back, offended.

"Might as well have." You mumbled under your breath.

Honestly, Max wasn't sure what she was expecting by coming here. From your point of view, it looked just like that, like she couldn't make up her mind if she wanted you or not. It was much more than that though. After watching Billy die, the pain of not having you by her side was too much. She thought she could soldier through it, for your safety's sake.

She tried, and after a few panic attacks and nights crying herself to sleep; she failed.

The cold from the wooden floor started to seep through her socks as Max shifted from one foot to the other. "I know it wasn't fair, but I was trying to keep you safe okay? If we were together you… I was afraid you'd get hurt." She confessed, stepping out of her comfort zone in hopes to make things right.

A shaky breath left you, finally looking up to meet the bright eyes you adored. From up close, you saw them glistening under the light of your bedroom. Her hair, pulled back in a messy braid, framed her face lovingly.

"I don't get it, we agreed to have each other's backs." You said softly.

Max closed her eyes, brushing the sleeve of her jacket under her nose. "That's not what I'm talking about." She seemed to ponder over her next words, glancing away from you and out the window. Her teeth nibbled onto her lower lip before she finally spoke again; "there are… things that I haven't told you yet, dangerous things. I thought they weren't coming back, but then they did and- and I didn't want to risk you getting hurt, and I mean really hurt."

There was a deep frown on your face as you tried to make sense of what she was saying.

Max gulped, and a tear ran down her cheek when she blinked.

You got up from the bed.

"So I just- I broke us up," a sob cut through Max's words before she was able to continue, "because I couldn't stomach the thought of watching you die, but then… then Billy… and I just.." tears were running freely down her cheeks, red-rimmed eyes looking down at her feet for fear of what you might say. She was going to say more, try and crawl her way out of the grave she'd dug for herself, but her words were cut short by the feeling of your arms closing around her.

You didn't think it would hurt so much to see Max this distressed, but it did. You'd never stopped caring about her anyway. You couldn't hold yourself back from bringing her close, embracing her to you with a tight grip. "It's okay, Max. I'm right here, with you." You breathed out, letting your head rest on her shoulder.

Max clung to you just as strongly, her hands clutching at the fabric of your pajama shirt. The gesture came as a relief for both of you, one craving the closeness just as much as the other.

Running a hand up and down her back, you felt Max lean almost all her weight onto you. "We can talk about this in the morning, yeah?" You suggested. The fact she'd be spending the night went unsaid. You weren't going to let her leave, not like this, not yet sure about what happened, but with the feeling that it was much bigger than it seemed.

Nuzzling her head onto your neck, Max nodded. "I'm sorry, I never wanted to leave you. I promise, I never wanted us to end."

Part of you was saying you shouldn't believe her. Another part, bigger and with a constant beating heart for her and her only; told you the tears lacing her voice were too real to hold any lies.

"We're still here though, aren't we?" You pulled away, smiling softly and bringing your hands up to her cheeks. You wiped away the stray tears, tracing the constellation of freckles underneath. You had missed her.

Max chuckled, ducking her head with a blush, chasing your touch. For the first time in weeks, her heart felt light with hope. "Yeah, I guess we are."

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are very much appreciated. <3

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mrshipsmcgee · 2 years

Text

Cursed: Volume 1

Stranger Things x Female Reader

Volume 2 Volume 3 Finale Series Navigation

Summary: Closing up shop at the arcade marks the beginning of the end with the tolling of a grandfather clock. Or did the beginning of the end start in March of 1983? Are you somehow connected to all of this that’s going on in Hawkins?

Warnings: scary themes, mentions of murder, mentions of suicide, description of a panic attack, cursing, fluff, spoilers for Stranger Things 4.

Please, support your writers with comments, reblogs and likes - let me know how you liked this! And if you’d like more? Just kidding, you’re getting more whether you like it or not because this shit is long as hell. ;)

Crossposted on AO3

Friday March 21st 1986 9:52 PM Hawkins, Indiana

“The Palace Arcade is closing in eight minutes. If any of you crotch goblins are still here when that clock hits ten o’clock I’m calling the cops! Thanks!” Keith’s voice booms over the intercom as he slumps lazily on a stool behind the counter eating chips.

“Seriously?” You sigh at your boss as you walk past him and take the small microphone in your grasp, covering it as you whisper, “Keith - Mrs. McCall called again complaining about you scaring her seven year old yesterday.. You know you do own an arcade and a movie rental place now, maybe you should learn to like kids..”

“No, no, no - me owning both of these fine establishments means that I don’t have to like anyone. I just hire nice people like you and Robin, even Harrington now to do my bidding,” Keith says, fumbling his hand in the bag of chips placed on the counter in front of him. You roll your eyes, sighing again before clearing your throat and leaning down to speak into the microphone, “Hey gamers! If you still need to call your parents or guardians to let them know to come pick you up, please feel free to come to the counter to use our phone!”

Keith rips the microphone from your hands and speaks quickly into it, “Or better yet! You can use the pay phone outside! Time's a tickin!”

“Keith!” You exclaim, putting your palm over the mic. “Stop being so mean! I’m taking away your intercom privileges.” The tall man rolls his eyes as he stands from the stool, “You know what? How about you close up shop since you seem to be so passionate about not traumatizing these perfect little demons, hm? Do my bidding?”

Your heart dropped.

God, you hated closing by yourself…

“Sure,” you say quickly, trying to force a smile - “Have a good night Keith.”

“Mhm,” he hums - his hand seemingly shooing you away as he walks out the door and into the night

“Miss?” A small voice says as your attention is drawn back to the counter where four small children stood across from you. You smile widely, leaning your forearms onto the countertop as you eye the kids, “Well, hi there gamers, how can I help you?”

“We need to call our parents.. Can we call in here please? It’s scary outside..” A small boy says. “Well, of course! The real question is can I trust you four to call your rides while I shut down the arcade?” The children nod in agreement as you high five them, “Awesome - I’ll be back. Yell if you need me.”

You begin to walk away as you hear a small voice whisper, “Arcade lady?”

“Yeah?”

“You are really nice to us,” a small boy said with a shy smile.

“Well - why wouldn’t I be?” You let out a breathy chuckle as your brows furrow. “You guys are totally awesome and you’re all nice to me. And you are all far better than I am at these ridiculously hard games and you choose to like me still?! Look - I’ll be right back and whenever I come back we can talk about each of your favorite games before you guys have to leave, does that sound good?” The kids excitedly nod as you turn on your heels, starting to walk towards the back of the vibrant arcade and routinely beginning to turn off lights as you check the back rooms and bathrooms for any stray kids.

“Any stragglers back here? We’re about to close and I would hate for you to have to stay the night in a dark arcade all by yourself!” You call out, flipping off the last group of light switches and shutting off the remaining games. “Okay, kiddos! Last - call...” You trail off noticing that the fluorescent lights above you start to blink on and off, twinkling like stardust off of your furrow-browed gaze.

“Weird..”

You turn to walk back towards the front of the building only to be stopped dead in your tracks by the toll of a loud, distorted bell - echoing through your chest as your attention is brought to that of a grandfather clock towering above you.

Lights start to flash and blink all around you. Arcade games turn back on, blaring music and sounds - startling you further before everything turns dark all at once, leaving you standing in the middle of a pitch black arcade.

The distorted bell rang out again, chilling you to the core. Your eyes dart around the darkened building, growing more nervous realizing you’re completely alone in the darkness.

Alone.

Or so you thought.

Your name is spoken loudly - booming from across the room. Heavy feet hit the ground. Step after step.

Boom.

Wet, heavy footsteps growing louder, closer.. until they stop. It’s silent again. Nothingness. Not a sound besides a low ticking coming from right in front of you.

You can feel the presence of something standing right in front of you, though it’s entirely too dark to tell. You’re too afraid to speak, to breath, to run. You just stand helpless and hopeless, hands clenched in tight fists - gripping whatever shred of courage you had left in the palm of your hand.

The low voice growls your name, causing you to fall backwards, palms hitting the floor as you let out a hiss. “Please - leave me alone,” you whisper as hot tears start to form in your eyes.

Harshly blinking the tears away, your eyes adjust to the darkness, making out the silhouette of a tall man standing in the middle of the arcade. “Your suffering is almost at an end,” the voice boomed, now coming from what felt like only a breath away.

“Who are you?!” You scream, clenching your jaws as you begin to scoot backwards, still on the floor. You see nothing but darkness as the bell tolls loudly in your ears yet again, “Please!”

You find the courage to hoist yourself off of the arcade floor, clumsily running towards the front of the arcade - too afraid to turn around as the bell ring out louder and louder - a low rumbling seems to erupt from all around just as your palms make contact with the glass door. Something wraps around your ankles, yanking you back to the floor as you scream, fingernails digging into the carpeted floor underneath as a force drags you back into the dimly lit arcade.

The voice spoke your name again - this time booming in a deep, raspy growl - echoing off of the faces of the surrounding arcade games.

“Join me, and become whole again. Join me and your suffering ends.”

“Leave me alone!!” You scream, harshly kicking away the force dragging you deeper into the arcade. You stumble as you clumsily stand and begin running away from the being hiding behind you in the darkness. “You cannot run from me.” The voice booms again as you scream, throwing yourself towards the exit of the arcade. Your palms slap against the glass door as you run into the night air, coming to a screeching halt as your body collides with someone.

Strong arms safely wrap around you - catching you before you can fall. “Woah! Are you okay?”

You look to the person holding you, making direct eye contact with- “S-Steve?” You whisper, blinking back tears as you look at the beautiful man staring back at you, his brows furrowed in confusion as he seemed to study you.

A warm, almost knowing small smile spreads across his perfect face as you watch his chocolate eyes seem to glance over every feature of your face, stopping at the curve of your lips before he abruptly clears his throat.

Steve stands up a little straighter, glancing to the arcade before looking back to you - seeing the tears in your eyes. He speaks, his voice low, “What’s wrong?”

“Is everything okay?” A woman’s voice rang out, your head whipping around to see her face. “Steve, what happened? Is she okay?” The short haired woman asked, her voice laced with concern. “Do I need to call the cops?”

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, looking you in the eyes before he glanced over to the woman. “Hold off for a sec, okay Robin?” She nods, looking to you before she shows a small smile.

“I- I’m so sorry. I - I - I just, I got a little spooked closing up by myself is all. Thanks for your concern..,” your voice still shakes as you look down, seeing Steve Harrington’s hands wrapped around your forearms. “I just - where are the four kids? I’m so worried. They were-“

“Picked up,” Robin interrupts, seeming to notice your still remaining fear trapped behind your eyes. “They were picked up about ten minutes ago. Are you sure you’re okay?” You begin to pull away from Steve as you look at Robin, ”it’s - no big deal. Really. Thank you for being concerned, but I should probably get home now.”

“Hey,” Steve says as his thumbs rub against your skin. “Look at me,” Steve says as you bring up your eyes to meet him.

Steve is gazing at you, his face so worried and his voice so small as he whispers, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You look at Robin before your eyes meet Steve’s again, “I hope you two have a great rest of your night. Thank you so much for worrying about me. Really. But I’ve got to get home...” Steve slowly released you from his gentle touch, flashing you a shy smile. Robin stood beside him, arms crossed as they watched you walk away, hop into your car and drive off to your home in Forest Hills Trailer Park.

“Well, Arcade Girl may have been spooked, but damn did she look good,” Robin joked as she and Steve get into his car. “Oh, so you’re into Arcade Girl, too?” Steve asks as he cranks the car and begins to drive. “I thought you said she was too old for you?”

“Class of 84 cannot be that old! Also - what does it matter to you if I changed my mind on thinking if a girl is hot or not?” Robin retorts before she lets out a small gasp. “-Unless you too have a crush on Arcade Girl?” Steve rolls his eyes, “no, no. I just.. you see how - how great she is with all of the arcade kids. And she’s pretty. And-.”

“-And you have a crush on her!” Robin says, Steve rolls his eyes as he drives, “I do not have a crush! Put your damn seatbelt on. I swear, you’re worse than Henderson.” “Oh, come on, Harrington! Don’t you try to change the subject! Every time I have a crush, you end up crushing on them as well! Don’t make this Tammy Thompson all over again! Let me have this one thing!”

“This isn’t Tammy Thompson! This is Arcade Girl. It’s different,” Steve protested. Robin’s palm playfully slaps Steve’s forearm, gasping sarcastically at Steve, “How the hell is she any different than Tammy Thompson?! You and I both have a crush, what’s different-“

“-Arcade Girl and I have history together! Okay?!” Steve says quickly, just as he pulls up to the Buckley residence - turning towards Robin’s already curious face. “Happy?”

“Oh, no no no, Popeye. You and arcade girl have a history together? Since when? And why didn’t you mention this before?” Steve rolls his eyes at Robin before he speaks, “It was in 84..”

“Spill.” Robin smiles, adjusting herself in the passenger seat to better see Steve - resting her chin on her fists as she braces her elbows on the middle console of Steve’s car.

“Okay, fine,” Steve exhales, running his fingers through his hair. “After I dropped Henderson off at the Snowball in 84 I- I saw Nance.. Our breakup was still fresh, and I knew she wanted Jonathan - she’s good with Jonathan, happy with Jonathan… I knew that even then..” Steve breathed again, shaking his head as he continues. “I went and parked my car against the tree line of the parking lot by the school and just.. cried. I - I know it’s silly, but at the time seeing Nance and realizing she chose Jonathan over me..I just - I knew I would just never be enough for her. And then I started thinking about how I feel like I’m never enough for my parents, or - or for school.. and then Nance happened.. And I thought I wasn’t enough for anybody..”

Robin’s demeanor changed as Steve clears his throat, “I just - I cried and cried.. man, I must’ve cried for twenty minutes.. and then someone knocked on the window of my car. And I looked up and it was Arcade Girl.”

Steve pauses for a moment before he whispers your name, smiling softly as he continues to speak, “And she just smiled at me, her - her face was so beautiful and she was smiling at me. So I - I opened up the car door and got out. And we just talked. We sat on the hood of my car and talked the entire night. She wanted to check on me and she told me that how I was feeling was okay and normal, but that it was a lie and that I was enough as I am.. and that if people didn’t love me or appreciate me then they were stupid and wrong and I needed to find better friends.”

He lets out a breathy chuckle, sighing as a small blush warms his cheeks, “When the dance ended they played one last song for the night. A slow song. And we - we ended up slow dancing and she just felt so - so perfect in my arms. And then she had to leave and I was alone again, and I - I wish I would have done more because there’s just.. there’s something about her.. I still think about her and-“

“Oh my god.. are you in love with Arcade Girl?” Robin smiled widely. “You’re in love with Arcade Girl and refuse to do a thing about it!? That’s what was going on back there?!”

“I am not in love with Arcade Girl. I just - appreciate her,” Steve replies. “Now get the hell out of my car, Buckley. I’ll see you tomorrow at eleven.”

“Fine, fine.. but if you don’t do anything about Arcade Girl, I will.. because you’re in love with her!” She jeers, poking Steve in the chest before opening up the passenger door and getting out of the car. “See you tomorrow, lover boy!”

“Oh, shut up!”

—

The stars were beautiful on nights like tonight; clear skies gleaming brightly, shining down on you as you stare up - face to face with the abyss of the galaxy as you lay on the top of a picnic table in the middle of the trailer park.

“What is the meaning of life?” A sarcastic voice rang out from behind you, causing you to sit up - bracing yourself on your forearm as you turn to greet, “Max! There’s my girl.” You cheer, sitting up and spinning yourself around to face the redhead. “Hi,” she smiles. You smile widely, patting the tabletop below you, “Come here and tell me about your day, why don’t ya?”

Max sits beside you, trilling her fingertips on her knee, “Oh you know - my day was like everyday.. Shit.”

“Well, I really hate to hear that.. Did you try to talk to Lucas?”

“God, no,” Max says quickly, diverting her eyes from yours. “Hey, it’s okay - we don’t have to talk about Lucas. I just want to make sure you’re okay is all. Trauma buddies, remember?” You joke, playfully tapping the cassette player sitting in Max’s lap. “How is the Kate Bush cassette treating you? I hope just as well as it treated me.”

“Yeah,” she smiles softly, fidgeting with the tape player in her hands. “There are a few songs that really speak to me. It’s like she knows how I’m feeling.”

“I get that.. There’s one song on there, I’m pretty sure it’s a love song.. but it works for me? Kate Bush can do no wrong. I need to get you on Pink Floyd or Jim Croce.. have you ever tried listening to Metallica? I’m on a Metallica kick currently.. It’s a little heavy, but I think you’ll like them-.”

You and Max turn towards the sounds of screeching tires seeing your neighbor, Eddie, pulling up his van in front of his trailer.

He gets out of the van, quickly ushering someone out of the passenger seat. “Holy shit, is that Chrissy Cunningham?” Max says, turning towards you. “I’d know that hair from anywhere.. that's definitely Chrissy,” you whisper, nodding your head as you watch the two scurry into the trailer, “The real question is what in the hell is Chrissy Cunningham doing with Eddie?”

“Who the hell knows. Look, I’ve got to go back inside.. my Mom, she’ll freak out if I’m gone too long,” Max says, standing and holding out her hand, cupping it into the shape of a C - her thumb curved downward, “See you tomorrow?” “See you tomorrow,” you say, holding up a cupped hand to hers to make a heart before you stand and pull her in for a hug. “Look,” you say, holding her in a warm embrace, your voice a bit muffled from the tight squeeze. “Don’t you ever forget, if you need me for anything, yell - or call. I’m always here for you. You or your mom. Okay, kiddo?”

You finally pull away, brushing a stray hair from Max’s eyes. “Okay, maybe I should be calling you Mom,” Max jokes, playfully rolling her eyes as she starts to walk backwards away from you. “Yeah, yeah - go inside before your actual Mom kills me! Goodnight!” You wave before sitting back down on the picnic table, laying out on the table top, just as you did before - gazing at the stars again.

“Chrissy!” You hear Eddie’s muffled screams coming from inside of his trailer.

Turning, your eyes see the trailer’s lights blinking, just like before at the arcade.. Eddie’s screams continue before the front door slams open and he runs to the driver’s side door of his van. You watch as he throws himself inside, peeling away from the trailer park and down the road into the night.

Where was Chrissy?

Your heart raced as you stood, slowly walking towards the open-door trailer before your feet started moving faster, starting to run to the door.

You shouldn’t have run to the door.. Why did you always have to be so damn curious?

A clap of nausea struck through your gut the instant your eyes fell upon the monstrosity before you. A familiar, broken monstrosity. A nightmare..

“Oh my god,” you whispered seeing Chrissy lying on the floor of Eddie’s trailer. Her arms and legs were snapped, her jaw broken, her eyes burst and bleeding.. The sight made you fall to the ground, gripping the grass below you in your fists as you scream, crying out in agony.

Memories flash before your eyes, upsetting you further as you collect yourself from the ground and run back to your trailer and barricade yourself inside. You slink against the door and into the floor, screaming loudly as hot tears stream down your cold cheeks. “No!”

The image of Chrissy’s broken body was the only thing you could see whenever you closed your eyes. Her once beautiful and kind eyes now bloodied and empty.

“Not again…” you whisper. “Please - no not again…”

Memories come flooding back. The bloody hardwood floor.. the broken bodies…

Tears stream down your face as you cling to yourself, sobbing into the crook of your arm - hoping to find a small shred of safety in your own touch.. wishing you could be swept up in another’s arms, wanting to feel a sense of belonging.

“Please… No…”

—

The sounds of sirens wake you, quickly sitting up off of the floor of your trailer with a gasp. Morning light poured through the window of your trailer. The sirens continued, bringing you to your feet as you spy through the blinds of your window and out towards Eddie’s trailer. Police cars were scattered around, police men held crowds of curious neighbors back as more people began to crowd around.

Your thoughts are nothing but of Eddie and Chrissy. Watching them go inside of Eddie’s trailer and only Eddie coming out. Your mind replays seeing Chrissy’s body laying on the floor, broken and bleeding - a disfigured and twisted version of what once was a beautiful and kind girl. A girl you had known since her freshman year of high school.

You had known Eddie even longer than Chrissy. Eddie Munson, your friend since sixth grade. Your friend all because Eddie punched that asshole Tommy Hagan in the face after he slapped your ass in the hallway in front of quite literally everyone at Hawkins Middle. Eddie has always come to your defense, been your greatest protector since. Especially whenever you lost your grandparents in 83. Even when Eddie fell behind and didn’t graduate, the two of you stayed thick as thieves, always watching out for one another and having spend the night parties in your trailer.

The phone rings, pulling you from your thoughts and back to reality. You rush, abruptly picking up the phone and saying, “Hello?”

“Hey - I can’t make it to the arcade today, I need you to come in and cover the shift,” Keith’s voice came through the speaker, cutting you off before you could even get a word in. “And I can’t take no for an answer. See you in twenty minutes.”

The line ends.

Cursing under your breath you quickly change into different clothes, grab your things and get into your car - driving off to the exit of the trailer, only to be stopped by a cop.

“You can’t leave,” he says, leaning against your car. “I apologize for the inconvenience.”

“Sir, please..” you whisper up to the man. “I - it’s just me. I have to go to work or I can’t pay my bills. Please. I have to go to work.”

The officer is reluctant but let’s you leave, sending you down the road and into the heart of downtown Hawkins, Indiana.

—

Only six people came into the arcade within the span of eight hours. The only real thing keeping you company was the pregame music coming from the surrounding arcade games and the muffled television playing the local news.

Like clockwork, each person that came into the arcade came up to the counter and chatted with you about the murder in Hawkins. Word travels fast in a small town. One after the other, person after person knew more than the last.. Telling you more information about what you already knew and worrying more and more about Eddie as the hours passed.

People are curious, you know.

A young boy - probably around thirteen, came up to the counter and gave you his tokens in exchange for some candy. He flashed you a smirk before he leaned across the counter, whispering, “You’re friends with Eddie Munson, right?”

He didn’t give you a chance to answer, spitting out, “Did you hear Eddie “The Freak” Munson murdered Chrissy Cunningham last night?”

That was it.

You had to find Eddie.

Quickly ushering the boy from the arcade, your palms smack lights off, ignoring the arcade games as you run out of the building, locking the door behind you before running towards your car and driving away towards the nearest gas station.

—

Glasses clink together as you walk through the forest after parking your car near a dock on Lover’s Lake. The flashlight you gripped in your hand bounced off of your thigh - shaking light illuminating your green path to your one and only stop, Reefer Rick’s currently vacant house.

You know Eddie too well. You and Eddie had hung out here far too many times before trying to escape reality for a few hours for this to not be his perfect hideout. Tucked away and sitting vacant near the lake. Perfect.

Your grassy path turned to paved concrete as you made your way to the house, shining the bright light into the dirty windows.

Nothing.

“Come on.. Where are you, Eds?” You breathe, walking past the house and towards the boathouse. You stop dead in your tracks hearing voices coming from the structure.

What if Eddie was in trouble? What if whoever murdered Chrissy is in there with him? You couldn’t leave your best friend alone like this.

Creeping towards the door you steady your breath, turn off your flashlight and grip it in your palm - moving quietly before your hand hits the door handle to the boathouse.

With not another thought you fling the door open, wielding your flashlight in your hand as if it were a sword ready for battle as you step into the boathouse. Your eyes meet Eddie’s before a force takes you to the ground with a thud, knocking the air out of you - the beer bottles you had brought Eddie crashing all around your head.

“Holy shit, Harrington!” You hear Eddie scream. Your eyes open, meeting Steve Harrington’s gaze, quickly noticing his body fully pressed against yours, and the hard ground against your back as he lays on top of you.

A group of teenagers run over to the scene, the familiar faces of Robin, Max and Eddie gaze down at you.

“I am so sorry,” Steve stands, brushing off his hands on his pants before extending his arm to you - only for Robin to reach in front of him and help you up instead, brushing off the back of your shirt and hair before saying, “Great job, Harrington. Glad you still have what it takes to take a woman to the ground via body slam. I’ll make sure your next date knows to wear a helmet.”

“Who is random girl?” A curly haired boy asks as he approaches where you, Max, Eddie, Steve and Robin stood. “We can’t bring anyone else into this.. she has to go,” he says, matter of fact, placing his hands on his hips.

“She’s cool, Dustin,” Max nods, leaning herself into you. “Calm down!”

“How do I know that?” Dustin asks, cocking his head to the side.

“Because she’s my best friend,” Eddie pipes up. “And she’s seen me shit myself and throw up at the same time after too many beers and still chooses to be my friend.”

“I thought we weren’t going to tell anyone about that?” You whisper, side eying Eddie as he rolls his eyes. “Eh - everyone probably thinking I murdered Chrissy, what’s telling people I shit myself going to do?”

“That’s why I came looking for you,” you reply, hurriedly speaking to your friend. “I came here because I know you didn’t do this. There’s no way an actual person could have done that to her.”

“Wait, how do you know what happened?” Steve asks, him and Dustin both now standing with their hands on their hips as the seemingly gawk at you.

“She’s our neighbor,” Max says, pointing her fingers towards herself and Eddie. “She lives right in between us.”

“She makes us cookies on Thursdays,” Eddie says with a small smile as he looks at you, placing his palm on the back of your head.

“These two dorks write your stupid campaigns on Thursday nights too,” Max says, sarcastically rolling her eyes.

“So that’s why we don’t have dnd on Thursdays..” Dustin murmurs under his breath. “What’s your class and level, Arcade Girl?” The boy smiles villainously, like he had trapped you in his question awaiting a stupid reply.

“You must be the infamous Dustin Henderson I hear so much about. Well, Dustin - I am a chaotic good, half elf, sorceress - level 14,” you say with a smile, crossing your arms over your chest. “How did you like the latest campaign?”

Dustin is quiet for a moment before he whispers, “Fine.”

“Fine?” Eddie retorts. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“She’s cool I guess.. And if she is sticking around you two might want to sit down for this conversation..” you and Eddie sit down beside the window of the boathouse as the group surrounds you, Dustin sits right in front of you. His voice is calm as he says, “well, what I’m about to tell you might be difficult to believe..”

Dustin tells the two of you about his friend named Eleven and how she had super powers and about Hawkins Lab and the Upside Down. He talked about his friend Will disappearing and Barbara dying. You didn’t think things could get worse until he brought up the Mind Flayer and what it did to all of those people in Hawkins - how the Starcourt Mall was really a Russian government coverup in hopes of creating a gate to the Upside Down.

Each bit of information worries you more. Each new detail reminds you of the day that still haunts you.. now Chrissy’s death makes that day feel just as fresh as it did in 1983.

“Now what did you see when that happened to Chrissy?” Dustin asks. “Dust particles? Smoke?”

“Nothing - I saw nothing,” Eddie breathes, tears start to form in his eyes. “It was like she was in a trance.. or - or a spell.”

“Or a curse..” Dustin whispers. “Vecna’s curse..”

The two continue talking about this undead creature of great power that curses people, wondering if that could be what happened to Chrissy.

“Hey, are you okay?” Steve’s voice whispers from behind you. You turn, looking up at where he stood, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed - almost as if he were standing guard behind you as he looks down at you. “This is a lot of information to learn at once, just wanted to make sure you’re okay. It’s okay if you aren’t okay.”

“Thanks, Steve,” you smile weakly. “It is a lot of information to learn in one sitting.”

“So.. here’s the thing. I gotta get home, my Mom will freak out if I’m not home in the next fifteen minutes to let her know I’m alive. With everything going on I didn’t realize it had gotten so late, I’m sorry,” Max says to the group. “Could someone drive me home? I can stick around, my mom is just weird since Billy..”

“I’ll take you,” both you and Steve say simultaneously - quickly looking at one another before turning back to Max.

“Honestly, I don’t think anyone needs to be alone right now,” Robin says. “What if we all crashed here with Eddie?”

“Not happening,” Steve shakes his head. “Someone has to take Max home.”

“What if you all came to my trailer and stayed the night? I have food and drinks and we can watch a movie or something to calm our nerves,” you suggest, looking up to the surrounding teens. “What do you think? I have board games!”

“What about Eddie?” Dustin says.

“Shit! You’re right,” you whisper. “What about Eddie?”

“We can just leave him here,” Steve quietly suggests. The group turns to him. “No one is going to be left behind - alone - with all of this shit going on in Hawkins again,” Robin retorts. “We got past russian guards once, I think we can get Eddie past Hawkins’ Police Department.”

—-

And that you did. You, Steve, Robin, Max and Dustin snuck Eddie past the police and into your trailer with ease all thanks to a hair tie.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” you whisper, smiling as you look at Eddie sitting on your couch staring back at you with a soft smile plastered across his face. “I can’t believe we just snuck you past the cops…”

“You’ve gone bad,” Eddie joked, taking his hair out from the hair tie.

“Ha! She’s gone bad? Never in a million years,” Max sits on the couch beside him as they both make themselves at home, just like they do any night they come over. “She’s too pure. Could you guys not hear her jaws grinding from stress the entire car ride here? She can’t handle the pressure.”

“We all were squished so close together in Harrington’s car, I heard things I didn’t even want to hear,” Eddie jokes, playfully slapping Dustin’s back. “Like whatever the hell is going on in Henderson’s stomach. You might need to get that checked out, man.”

“Very funny,” Dustin shrugs, rolling his eyes at Eddie. “Well, if you’re planning to stick with us, sneaking Eddie past cops is nothing compared to what could possibly be to come,” Dustin says as he and Robin start to look around your trailer. He grabs a toy from a nearby shelf, still in the package - holding it up and gazing at it, “Wait.. Is this real?”

“Do you think I’d have fake Star Wars action figures still in the box sitting on display in my home?” You retort.

Steve lets out a small laugh, looking back at you as he walks past you and sits on the couch right beside Max, “I see Dustin’s finally met his match.”

“Oh my god,” Robin says, holding up a vinyl record. “You have the entire Woodstock Concert Series recordings? When all of this is said and done I’m coming over and we’re listening to this one day. Hell, multiple days. We can have food, we can make a week out of it. How we- how would we work? Who - ya know, who needs work whenever we could just listen to the entire Woodstock recordings? I wonder if it has the thunder storm that came through recorded on the…” she pauses, snarling her nose and making a face before eyeing Steve, “Oh god, I’m doing it again.. my mouth won’t stop.”

You laugh, “Honestly, you could have kept going and I would have kept listening. We definitely need to do that. You could even sleep here! I haven’t had a sleepover in years! My bed is super comfortable.”

“Hey now!” Steve says abruptly, his eyes darting back and forth between you and Robin, noticing Robin was making a face at him. “Uh.. I -,” he looks around, quickly grabbing the remote from the coffee table and awkwardly holding it up, giving a weak smile. “I found the remote! Hey now!”

“Hey!” Robin loudly cheers, her eyes widen before looking back at you. “Yay!”

“You guys are funny,” you say with a smile, staringt to back away from them, “I’m gonna go make some kind of food for us. Who’s hungry?”

“Me!” Eddie and Dustin yell.

“Oh my god, you have a bass guitar? You play instruments too?” Robin picks up the red instrument, putting the strap over her shoulder and strumming the strings before looking back up to you. “What do you not do? Are you actually the most perfect human?”

“She doesn’t run, I mean, she can - it just looks weird,” Eddie jokes, standing from the couch and walking towards you. “And she’s lactose intolerant and she’s scared of clowns. She isn’t perfect, but she tries to be.” He opens the fridge, grabs a beer and heads over to sit back on the couch. “But she is a good cook. And she is a killer bass player, even though she doesn’t play in my band anymore.”

“I wanna hear you play,” Robin smiles. “I want to hear you both play. You have to join the band again, Arcade Girl. Please. Do it for me. I wanna see you slap da bass.”

“Maybe,” you say, preparing food. “It’s been a while.”

”Holy shit, it smells so good in here, I’m starving,” Dustin says. “I am so excited to eat. Thank you for cooking for us.”

“Ah, Dustin is a fan of Arcade Girl now he knows he is being fed,” Robin jokes, still strumming the bass’ strings - bouncing her brows as she looks at Dustin. “I too am very thankful for this food that you’re making us.You are so…” she turns to Steve, “…maternal and warm. And might I say that I love your hair.”

“Thank you, Robin. You are so nice,” you smile. “So, who all is staying the night?” You ask, starting to count hands in the air. “Oh, all of you. Perfect.”

Mr. Mom plays quietly on your small television as you are surrounded by a group of sleeping teenagers with bellies’ full of warm food. Eddie is asleep on the floor beside Dustin, Robin is asleep in the Lay-Z-Boy, Max’s head is in your lap - finally asleep.

“They’re all kinda cute whenever they’re asleep,” Steve whispers from where he sat on the couch beside you. Max’s constant adjusting before ultimately falling asleep on you pushed you right beside Steve, hip to hip.

You look around the room before your eyes meet his, “You’re right. Even if they kinda snore, they are cute.” Your fingers brush hair from Max’s forehead as you look down at her, studying the freckles kissing her porcelain skin.

“She loves you,” Steve says. “I think we all do.”

“You think?” Your cheeks grow warm, looking at Steve again. “Oh - I.. you’re probably so uncomfortable,” you pause, slightly adjusting realizing that your elbow is pressing into Steve. “Let me just-.”

“No, let me - Max looks comfortable,” Steve adjusts, placing his strong arm around where you sat beside him - wrapping perfectly around your shoulders. “Is this okay?”

The nearness of Steve made your heart race in the best way, feeling your bodies starting to melt into one another where you sat on the couch. Steve was warm, he smelled of musk and sandalwood. You could feel his heart racing as your eyes meet his once more.

He’s so close.

So handsome.

He looks into your eyes, gazing into them before he pulls his vision from yours, clearing his throat and looking around your trailer.

“This is impressive,” Steve whispers.

“What? My trailer?” You scoff. ”It’s not really that impressive if you knew the story.”

Dread washes over you as the low toll of a bell.. the same sound from back at the arcade last night rings out around you. Your head whips around the room, looking for any signs of the grandfather clock from before.

“I’d love to hear about it,” Steve shrugs, adjusting himself even closer to you. “You know, if you ever wanna ya know talk about it. Or - or explain it. I mean, you’re almost two years out of high school and you own your own trailer. I’m a year out of high school and all I have to show is me working at Family Video. I could use help getting my shit together, so I’m open to advice.”

Steve noticed the change in your demeanor, seeing your shifting eyes and feeling your heart start to race. “Hey, are you okay? I’m sorry if I’m - I'm too close.”

Tell him.

You let out a soft chuckle, “no, it’s okay - It’s nothing special and the story is sad. I won’t bore you with it. I do wish I had some kind of advice for you.”

“Hey,” he breathes, looking around your home. “This is incredible and I’m used to sad stories now. If you wanna share, I’m all ears. I’ve got plenty of sad stories to share. And if you don’t wanna share, that’s okay, too.”

Tell him.

“Steve.. I promise you, it’s not a good story. There is already enough negative stuff going on all around us,” you protest, looking down at Max again as you brush through the end of her pulled back hair.

“Do you remember me?” You whisper, eyes still on Max.

“Of course I remember you.. how - how could I forget someone like you?” Steve whispers. “Ya know, I should have added something to that list of things Eddie said you can do. The list of things you’re good at.”

“Yeah?” The pads of your thumb caresses Max’s brow, too nervous to look at Steve.

His face leans closer to you, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispers, “I would add that I think you’re a fantastic dancer.. and I’d love to do it again sometime.”

Your face turns, nose brushing against Steve’s as you eyes meet his. “You do remember…”

“Of course I remember,” he smiles before he whispers your name. “I think I’ll always remember you.”

Steve’s heart is drumming against your body as he licks his lips, “Steve, there’s something I need to tell you.”

The bell rings out again, though you choose to ignore it.

“Okay,” he nods, eyes locked on yours. “You can tell me anything. Whatever it is, I’m all ears.”

“Are you guys about to kiss?!” Robin screeches, waking the group from their slumber. You and Steve pull away from one another, immediately looking away and down at your feet.

Max sits up, her sleepy eyes staring at you and Steve, “Holy shit!”

“Guys, please,” Steve says. “Leave her alone. It’s my fault, I-.”

You stand from where you sat beside Steve, walking across the room from the group and shaking your head.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asks.

“You - you all need to know.. Steve asked how I live here by myself, so I’ll tell you. I need to tell all of you..” you breathe, balling your shaking hands into fists. “You deserve to know. You guys told me about everything, the Upside Down, Eleven… all of it. So, I need to tell you..

“Woah.. what are you talking about?” Robin sits up, worried as she watches you start to pace. “I was just messing with Steve more than you when I said that a second ago. I’m sorry if I freaked you out.”

“No, no.. it’s okay. It’s not that.. It’s just - I just..” your sad eyes flash to Max and Eddie, both staring up at you before your eyes shift to the hallway of your trailer, seeing a grandfather clock facing you - taunting you with its ringing. “I have something I need to tell you guys… something about my past. It’s why I’m in this trailer. I - I didn’t wanna bring it up because I don’t like talking about it, but then Steve asked and.. and… I know you guys now,” you clear your throat before continuing. “I didn’t wanna bring it up before at the boathouse because I didn’t want anyone's pity.. or for anyone to think of me differently.. but I hope - I think you guys won’t because you all have stuff too..”

Your eyes stare at the ground, too afraid to look at your friends.

“At first I didn’t think it mattered, that my story didn’t matter. But now I’m scared that it matters.. and I don't want my story to matter because that means that whatever this is - Vecna, the boogeyman... whoever this is that’s murdering people in Hawkins has been killing for years.”

Your chest starts to rise and fall trying to regulate your breathing - starting to feel light headed.

“Okay…. My mom died suddenly when I was a baby, a brain hemorrhage during labor. Right after she died I went to live with my only living relatives, my grandparents - my mom’s parents.. right here in Hawkins. Over near the Byers’ house on that big farmland. I lived with my grandparents from the time that mom died until around 1983.”

Your eyes glance over to Eddie, who was giving you a weak, downturned smile. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “Go on, it’s okay.”

“Well, here’s the thing. Uh, Eddie and Max know this story, but it’s not the full story. They haven’t heard it.. no one actually knows the full story. And I thought what happened was nonsense until what happened with Chrissy and I learned about everything you guys have been through..” you shake your head as tears start to form in your eyes.

“I came home, it was Saturday March 5th 1983. It was cold, and dark when I got to the farmhouse. My grandparents normally waited for me on the wraparound porch whenever I had to either stay at school late or work late. I can still imagine them sitting there in their rocking chairs, my grandpa with a book and my grandma crocheting something beautiful as always. But, this time I showed up and no one was waiting on the porch, which I didn’t think too much of until I walked inside and smelled dinner burning and stepped in water coming all the way from the kitchen sink.”

You sigh, swallowing hard before speaking again.

“I shouldn’t have looked for them. I should have just called the cops. But like with Chrissy, I let my curiosity get the best of me. I - I walked deeper into the house and- and.. I found my grandma first. Her arms and legs were snapped in half, her jaw looked like it was dislocated.. and her eyes.. gone. Bloodied. It’s like they exploded. My grandpa was a room over, same exact thing. Same. The legs, the jaw, his eyes…” you start to cry. “It was the day before Will went missing and a few days before Barbara Holland died. The police handed the case over to some other people.. they said it was a murder suicide. They kind of just closed the case, even though I begged.. I pleaded. They just forgot about them, about me.. which is fine, it’s fine. Will was missing and then Barbara. I just.. I tried to forget about it like they did.. and I was doing good but then I saw Chrissy.”

“What..” Eddie breaths, blinking back tears.

“I uh - Hopper, he was the nicest. He set me up, he actually used to pay for me to live here so I had somewhere to stay. I don’t know why he was so kind to me.. but, he was. And he would visit me and make sure I had food. All he wanted was for me to graduate and get out of Hawkins.. And then he died too..” your voice cracks as panic courses through your veins - your heart feeling as if it were trying to drum itself out of your chest.

“Everyone I love dies. Everyone I get close to leaves me… I - I think I’m cursed somehow. And I needed to tell you guys that, I had to tell you guys before it got worse or - or it got to you. Or it got me..” your voice breaks again as you start to sob. “I don’t want you guys to die like everyone else. I- I have nothing… nothing besides you guys…”

Your hand grips your chest, feeling yourself spiraling into hyperventilation, your vision getting hazy around you as you gasp for air through your quickly closing throat.

“Oh shit!” Steve yells,

Eddie and Steve are the first ones to you, Eddie standing in front of you, his hand gently caressing your balled up fist you had to your side, spreading out your hand with his and holding it gently; Steve stands behind you, placing two fingers on the side of your neck to check your pulse, snaking his arm around your waist, “I think she’s having a panic attack.” He looks to Robin.

“Oh god,” Robin whispers, quickly getting up from the chair and running into the kitchen, “I’ll get some water.”

“She has these, but they’ve gotten worse lately.. I don’t know why,” Max says. “Try to sit her on the ground. Robin, grab some ice and wrap it in a towel, or grab some frozen food. Peas, broccoli, whatever.”

“Lean back on Steve, okay?” Eddie coos as both of the men slowly crouch to the carpeted floor of your trailer’s living room, both holding you in their grasp. Robin runs over with a glass of water and a bag of frozen peas, “got it.”

Eddie hands the water to Max, “What do I do with these?”

“Her chest. The cold will help her right now. She’ll feel like she can breathe,” she explains.

Steve sits behind you on the ground, legs spread as you sit - back laid against his chest as you continue to hyperventilate, feeling like you’re slipping further away from reality. He moves stray hair from your clammy face, blowing cold air from his pursed lips onto the back of your neck - his head cocked awkwardly to the side.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Eddie whispers, slowly placing the peas on your sternum. “Doesn’t that feel good? It’s going to be okay. Just look at me, please?” He sniffles as tears fall. “I hate seeing you like this, please - please it’s going to be okay.”

Max comes over, sitting on her knees as she grabs your hand. Dustin and Robin come closer, awaiting further instructions on how to help you. “Hey, everything is okay right now. Okay? We’re here.”

“Are you - you going to leave me?” You mutter through quick breaths.

“You’re stuck with us now,” Dustin whispers. “And when this is over we’re playing DND together.”

“And we’re going to listen to Woodstock!” Robin says sweetly.

Steve whispers in your ear, low enough for only you to hear, “And I’m going to be there for all of it, because all I want to be is beside you. Just lean back on me, it’s okay - I got you. We aren’t going anywhere.”

“You can’t get rid of us now,” Robin smiles, sitting on the ground. “And we’re going to stay with you until you’re better.”

“All of us,” Eddie wipes his tears, still holding one of your hands in his.

Your breathing slows, finally calming down as your tired body leans against Steve’s warm chest - gripping onto Eddie and Max’s hands as you smile. “I love you guys,” you sigh, looking at the group. “Thank you for helping me.”

“Well, you’re part of the group now - you’re basically family now. Part of our party.. We will always be here to help,” Dustin smiles. “Can’t get rid of us now.”

“I don’t think I want to,” you smile. “Thank you guys so much…”

“We’re going to figure this out,” Dustin assures you. “We always do.”

“And you’ll get to meet everyone else. They will love you, too!” Robin exclaims.

“Everyone else?”

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Sooooo, what did you think? Please PLEASE let me know. I worked so hard on this, and I love it so much and I’m so scared no one will read it or like it. I’m feeling insecure and your validation fuels me. I love you whoever is reading this. <3 - Cait

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