#i had one when i was a kid but my mum got rid of all of my dolls so im very excited to have her again

[thepartyneverdies]

holy shit my friend is going to be giving me a c a cupid doll??? im ..... !!!!!!!

#milky posts #monster high #monster high g1 #cupid #ca cupid #shoutout to my fantastic friend love you bitch #mh #i had one when i was a kid but my mum got rid of all of my dolls so im very excited to have her again #i'll post pics when i get her shes gonna need her hair done

[heyidkyay]

Pause it, play it, pause it, play it | Market girl AU

Matty x marketseller!reader

Summary: Saturday's are always the same working the stall, until a stranger stops in to disrupt your cassette display...

Authors note: A one shot for you, needed something to help me with a little writer's block so I hope it's alright! Nothing too detailed, mostly just fluff, just saw that middle picture and the idea took root:)

--

“Oi, Rob… You see where I set those new slips I just had?” I called out loudly, riffling my way through the boxes I’d brought over from the van that very same morning. “I swear I left them here in one of these lot.”

Rob seemed to shuffle over towards me at the beckon, peering around the tent whilst I pulled apart one box’s contents. 

I huffed when I heard a familiar crunch and looked over my shoulder to see him stood there munching on an apple. “Nah, babe. Sorry. I can ‘ave a look though if you want, got Nance watchin’ out for me.” ‘Nance’ being Nancy, Rob’s massive Alsatian that had once been his grandad’s guard-dog when he’d manned the stall years back. 

With a soft chuckle I pushed myself up onto my feet once more, tucking my hair behind my ears as I went. 

“Have at, can’t for the life of me find them.” I told him, watching on in growing amusement as he bit down on the green fruit to hold it between his teeth whilst he mooched about the pyramid of cardboard boxes for me, “Sure you’ll still have enough left to sell? Last Saturday you ate your way through six of those, the one before that was the highest yet, at eight.”

Huffing, Rob took another bite of his apple and then shot me a wink. “Keepin’ an eye on me, are you?”

I rolled my eyes as a breathy laugh escaped me, falling against the stall’s main bench so that I could cross my arms over my chest. 

A quick glance at the time told me that we still had a while yet ‘til it hit nine and the market opened properly, letting that first bit of crowd sail in. Though I’d always found it was easier most days to just enjoy the atmosphere that was Portobello, instead of focusing in on the imminent mob.

See, I’d been at the market since I were nine, working the vintage stretch with my mum and aunt, having grown all too fond of the people and their many eccentricities. Rob was of the same cloth, though a tad bit older, just enough that I’d had the fattest crush on him and that East London accent of his as a kid. 

It had faded over time, mind, what with him jetting off a couple years back when he’d been a holiday rep in Ibiza and me realising that I’d wanted to try my luck at art school. Not that either of those things had worked out, which had ultimately led us back here, surprised not to be rid of the other.

He was as close as I could get to a best mate though. Strange yeah, but he was family, wasn’t he? Everyone who worked the market was.

“With an arse like that? Always.” I retorted easily enough to have him laughing along with me and shaking his head at my antics. Something he’d grown all too used to in the recent years since I’d come back and made my mark with a stall of my own.

It wasn’t anything too grand, my stall. Nothing like the tourist trapping shops that sat a little further down, but sweet enough for the likes of me and the massive music collection I managed to drag down here each weekend. Set up was always mad, yes, but with Rob, Nancy and a few other early starters, time slipped away quick enough.

“Here we go then.”

I blinked and looked back over at Rob, who was now beaming brightly at the set of LP slips I’d ordered in special, waving them about in smarmy pride. I swatted his side as I made a grab for the things, only to have him lift them up higher to where I couldn’t reach. 

“Don't be a twat, pass them over. We open in five!”

Rob simply chuckled in retort, taking another chomp out of that apple of his. “A thanks wouldn’t go amiss.”

“Yeah, yeah, I would’ve gotten to it!” I swiftly shot back, jumping up to swipe them from his grasp and grinning in triumph when I managed it. He only laughed, a slight rasp working its way into it like it typically did. “Thanks.” I added after I’d thumbed through the lot, smiling up at him as he made his way to the other side of the tent. 

“Buy me a pint and we’ll call it even, treacle.”

I gave him a roll of my eyes, but agreed without much fuss. “Fine, but just the one, tight arse.”

His hearty chuckle filled the steadily growing street of sellers and I watched on as he stroked Nancy’s collar before settling back in at his own stall which resided by mine.

“Penny’s take care of the pounds, my darlin’.”

I raised a single brow and tucked the slips into one of the closer vinyl cubbies- 70’s Proto-punk wasn’t much of a seller anyway. “You mean, look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves.”

Rob clucked his tongue, waving the correction away with the hand that held his apple core, “Alright, smart-arse. You knew what I meant.”

I smirked, tittering quietly to myself whilst he settled his usual bum bag around his hips. It suited him, I thought, the neon green pouch sitting atop that awful red and white apron he’d pinched off the butchers up in Notting Hill when he’d worked there for a weekend. Though I much preferred my own, my nephew having decked it out in all sorts of pins and patches for me a while back now. 

With that Rob and I settled into our own stations, me taking perch on the old wooden stool I’d found in the back of a garden shed, and Rob being his usual loudmouth self, beckoning the arriving customers on closer.  

The crowd grew bigger and bigger the closer it got to ten, lots of people stopped by to have a chat or a look round, a few purchased a couple of bits. It was mainly just the vinyls that sold these days, but I still had posters, cd’s, and even cassettes on show.

It wasn’t usual for the cassettes to get a good look over though, mainly just a ‘Oh! Do you remember them?’ and then a small laugh before people eventually moved on. Which was why I was more than a little surprised to see a figure having a right old rummage through the steady collection I owned, once I’d managed to wrap up another sale. 

Glancing about, I spotted a pair of old birds flirting with Rob by the pears, Nance having gone to settle herself down by my bag in the back to hide from their gentle clucking, and how the crowded mob had thinned out a tad since most people had made their way further down the road’s neck.

I tucked the few notes I held into my pouch and stepped over a tangle of cables to make my way closer to the person, taking in their too big graphic tee and the tight zip up that had been layered over top of it. The nearer I grew the more I spotted though, the slight nod of a head as fingers worked their way deftly through the collection, the array of dark curls that poked their way out of the sides of a worn cap, and then the tiny hoop which dangled from a right earlobe. 

“Looking for something specific?”

The bloke didn’t startle much, there was no real jump at the sound of my voice, only the slight tilt of his head, as though he was used to being caught off guard. I watched him closer after that, noting how his thumb trailed across one of the few Sonic Youth singles I had.

“Their ‘86 album?”

His voice was gentler than I’d first been expecting, rasped with a slight accent I couldn’t quite place. I blinked at his ask, skimming through the catalogue of tapes my mind offered me, which hardly ever seemed to move from their typical place of sorting. 

“Um, top right? Should be one there, got Sister and Goo too, if I’m not wrong. Though the ‘88 album seems to be their most popular- even in cassette form.” I had rambled a tad there, I knew that much, but it was all part of the job to me. Talk and talk until they either fled the scene or decided to buy more than what they’d first come for. “You into cassettes then?”

He gave me a low chuckle and pulled away from the stand slightly, it was then that I caught sight of his face, a tad bit stubbled and lips parted almost in wait. He must’ve been closer to Rob’s age than my own.

I raised a brow when he didn’t offer me an answer, tilting my head in turn. “Or, is it a gift of some sort?” I dragged out.

With a blink, he seemed to stand a little taller and I noticed he only had an inch or two on me.

“Er, no.” He muttered, before mimicking my head’s movement and propping his elbow up on the cassette stand almost as if he was attempting to suss me out. It took a second before he finally flashed me a slow but genuine smile, “Looking for a certain sound. Some tapes sound better than the actual record so I figured here would be my best bet.”

I hummed, crossing one ankle over the other. “The further back you go you can hear it, but most of their stuff's good either way.”

He smirked as he settled in further, looking out at me from under the brim of his cap, “Aren’t you meant to be selling it to me?”

My laughter couldn’t have been helped because he did have a point there, only… “It’s just not everyday that someone pops by to talk about music mediums with me.” I argued, all too pleased when I heard him give another hearty chuckle in reply, “So forgive me for my excitement.”

“Will do.” He simpered, eyes flicking down to where he still held the Evol tape, I reached out to tap its plastic top.

“That one’s known for its ballads, if that’s something you’re into, but,” I practically sang before peering round him to see if I could find the one cassette case I was thinking of, “If you’re wanting a specific sound then A Thousand Leaves is probably worth giving a listen to. Personally I don’t think it got the recognition it deserved, but there was a lot of experimenting whilst also managing not to betray their roots, you know? It’s softer, smoother, and the guitars are almost unmatched.”

When I went to hand it over to him just to have a look at, I found him already watching me with this inscrutable sort of expression. I merely brushed it off, figuring that he’d just leave if he did eventually grow tired of my ranting, then turned slightly when a round of whispers echoed around the tent. It seemed a few younger girls had wandered straight on over to the independent artists section I had placed by the front and were arguing over who got this one Sam Fender album.

I looked away and went to say something else to him, but the way he'd simultaneously moved to angle his back away from the cassette tapes when he too spotted the new arrivals wasn't lost on me. I frowned a tad, though chose not to comment on it. “So, what sort of sound are you searching for anyway?”

His gaze skittered away from the tapes to meet mine for a second and I wondered, briefly, why he’d so suddenly lost the relaxed stance he’d been in just minutes before, but then he said, “Anything I haven’t heard much of before, in truth.”

Mulling his words over I then gestured towards the stand. “Can I?” I gestured, and immediately he knew where I was going with it, jumping back a step to let me riffle through the lot. 

I pulled out a couple I figured he might be into, simply going off of the Sonic Youth album he’d been eyeing, then a few of my own favourites, not that I’d let that tidbit slip. 

Handing them over, I let him search through their titles and answered one or two questions he had for me. I had to admit he intrigued me a bit, I’d had music enthusiasts stop by and talk about this and that with me, even had a couple people who played and were searching for new stuff to learn and adapt, but him? He didn’t give much away.

“Any good?” I questioned once I'd wandered back over to join him. I’d only left him to look through the selection again when a customer had called me over towards the front, and was just tucking away the few extra coins I’d been given when he glanced up at me with a bright grin. I was a little surprised to say it caught me off balance a bit.

“I’ll take the lot.”

Trying my hardest not to outright baulk, I paused. “The lot?”

Sure, cassettes weren’t all that pricey, not compared to pressed records at least, but there must’ve been just over a dozen that I’d pulled out to show him and now he supposedly wanted to take them all.

He laughed after a moment, most likely at the baffled look that marred my face, and made to pull his wallet out of his back pocket. “That gonna be a problem?”

The question was almost argumentative, pushy even, but in a jokey sort of way, the kind you’d use when ribbing a mate, not now. Not with some stranger at a market stall. It only left me marvelling further.

“Might be, I’ll have to find a bag big enough to fit them all though.” I countered, hiding my own smile when I heard him laugh again whilst I spun around to fetch exactly that.

“Anything will do, love.”

I dipped my chin in a slight nod but didn’t go right for the usual stack of black baggies I used for most sales, instead I swiped one of the few printed totes I had hung up for trade and tallied up the price. “You gonna be alright walking the rest of the market stretch with that?” I teased him, looking up once the transaction completed to hand him the now very full bag only to find him already looking back at me.

He hummed around a sly smile, fingers meeting mine around the totes handle before they were slipping away again. “Think I’ll make do. Only came looking for these anyway.”

My brows jumped up in surprise as I watched him tuck his wallet back into the pocket of his jeans. “Everyone loves Portobello.” I murmured and his light laughter echoed around the market stall once more before he simply shrugged. 

“Been a couple times before, and besides, don't reckon I’ll get a better deal than this, do you?”

My eyes narrowed when I smiled, humoured by his easy going nature and quick quips. I found that I wanted him to stick around a while longer, if only to solve the mystery he made. “No, don't reckon so.”

He lingered for a moment or two more, simply smiling at me and I found myself smiling back, before a gaggle of school kids wandered on over, loud and uncaring of the looks they garnered. They caught my attention too and I found myself reminiscing over years where I’d been much of the same. 

When I glanced back over to him, I saw that he was gone. My forehead pinched in confusion and I glanced around to see if I could spot him in the busy crowd, but it had grown all too quickly again and appeared easy enough for anyone to get swept up and lost in. 

I rocked back on my heels as I gave up the search, just before I was called over by one of the kids asking for a specific LP. I let it go, him and the strange encounter we’d shared, and went about the rest of the day just going through the motions.

By the time seven o’clock rolled around I was shattered and had already packed most of the stall away. I waited patiently for Rob to help me with loading the larger bits into the van, watching Nance for him whilst he wrapped up what remained of the fruit and veg, knowing he’d take most of it back home to his family. It was at that moment that I caught sight of something amiss in the vinyl cubby I’d used to hide those slipcovers in just before we'd opened. 

I walked over and was more than a little dumbfounded to spot a cassette lying there on its side. Standing On A Beach. One of The Cure albums I’d mentioned to that bloke in the cap earlier, the very same he’d gone and bought, and the exact one I was more than sure I’d bagged. 

I picked it up, feeling Nancy brush up against my side whilst Rob called out to say that he was just dropping off his usual round of goodybags to the nearby sellers. I waved him off, then looked down at the tape I held, pausing when my thumb caught on something attached to the back. 

Flipping it over I found a quickly scribbled note, its corner tucked into the case's opening so that it would hold its place. 

(It sounded like you enjoyed this one when I asked about it. Know it’s a first edition too, so I figured maybe you should be the one keep it. - Matty.)

Matty.

“What you smiling at, weirdo?”

I startled at the sound of Rob’s usual drawl, head snapping over to my left to find him already trailing back towards us, a happy grin plastered over his face. 

“Go on, tell us!” He ribbed, and now that he was drawing nearer I was quick to tuck the note into my back pocket. 

“Nothing, just this tape. Figured I’d keep it.” I told him with a small shrug, clutching the cassette closer when he hip checked me in passing and bent down to give Nancy a good old stroke.

“Thieving your own gear! Wow, that’s a new low even for you.” Rob chuckled, shooting me a bright smile before he stood once more.

“Hush up, it’s a goodun. Forgot I even had it.” I defended, but he merely continued to laugh at me. Rolling my eyes, I shoved his arm lightly before I said, “Now be useful for once and grab the last of those boxes for us, will you.”

“Tetchy.”

I simply snorted, shaking my head as I moved to pick up my bag, clinging to the old cassette case for a second before finally dropping it inside. 

“You coming then?”

With a deep breath I took one last glance around the stall and didn’t see anything that had been missed, so I wiped down my jeans and then gave Nance another pet, “Yeah, coming!”

…

My week continued on much the same after that. I worked in the local pub behind the bar when I wasn’t performing on the crate stage there and on my day off I took the tube over to see my mum and nan. They lived further East nowadays, closer to the clinic my nana hated but needed, and not too far from the street she’d grown up on as a girl.

Saturdays were my only market days, even though it was open most of the week. Rob usually did Fridays there and the rare Tuesday too, when he could be arsed. Though the rest of his time was used up by frequenting the old boxing club every other evening, training and helping out with the younger lot that liked to come in. I’d only been half a dozen times, but he was very much in his element there.

So in shorter terms, my week had slipped on by without much fanfare, which meant that Saturday had seemed to both crawl and shoot back around. 

I opened the stall like usual, only without Rob for the first time in ages. He had apparently come down with some sort of bug or other that he’d gone and caught off of his nieces when he’d popped round to see them Wednesday afternoon- and well, he was a man, wasn't he? Which ultimately meant that he was dying. 

He’d let me have Nancy though, seeing as she hadn’t been out very much since the cold had hit him. So the Alsatian had jumped in my van that same morning and had been as good as gold all day. To be honest, she was a much better seller than me and I could see why Rob always brought her along with him, people seemed to flock to dogs which in turn meant more sales for me.

I’d been fanning the crowds away ever since we’d opened, which typically only tended to happen during half term or school holidays, but nonetheless it was a more than welcome change after the crappy tips I’d garnered down at the pub the night before.

‘Cause well, since I’d dropped out of school I’d taken to performing there on the more livelier nights, a few covers, one or two of my own songs, and then I’d end the set and slide behind the bar to serve. Normally I was fine with that, the tips were often good when both the older folk and the younger lot rolled in, Friday nights especially. Only, there’d been a gig on down at the O2 so we hadn’t gotten our usual patrons in, and had instead been sacked with a couple of stragglers and a less than lively lot.

Still, today more than made up for it.

The sun was shining as much as it could do during a London March, the skies were blue although not completely clear, and the market crowd seemed to be in good spirits too.

Sy, who worked a couple stands down, had passed out a tray of coffees not too long ago, just after the lunchtime rush, and then Dianne and Reg had followed with some of their freshly baked pastries. They’d even thought to bring a little treat over for Nance too. 

I'd just texted a picture to Rob to show him what he’d missed out on by having a case of man-flu and had just got up to toss the last of the rubbish away when I was caught off guard by an unexpected surprise.

“You!”

Matty, my mind supplied a half a second later. The same name that had been circling my thoughts since he’d left me that note the Saturday prior. I blinked at the sight of him. He was wearing a cap again, although this one was different, a dusky navy blue that he’d gone and tucked under a giant grey hoodie. 

“Me.” He grinned in glinted amusement, jutting out his chin in a gentle hello. “Figured I might find you here.”

The snort I gave was unprecedented, “Oh, really? Wonder what gave that away.”

Matty smirked. Matty. It felt strange to put his name to his face then, even though it had been puttering around in my head like the bouncing DVD logo since the last time we’d met. 

“Got any more tapes for me then?”

My eyes squinted in my attempt to dim my smile, not really believing that he was actually here, before I pursed my lips and tilted my head at him. “Might do. Take it you liked the last few?”

He hummed, smiling down at Nancy who’d trailed on over and allowing her to sniff at his hand. When she nudged his leg with her snout I watched on as he dropped into a crouch to give her a proper stroke. Nance seemed to be quite taken with him after that. 

I propped a hip against the nearest vinyl cubby, crossing my arms over my chest whilst he replied, “They were good- helped a lot, in truth. You were right about the Roxy Music album, too.”

Chuffed with that, I shot him a pleased little grin. 

“You’ll come to learn that it’s to be expected.”

“What, you bein’ right?” Matty wondered with a low laugh, petting Nancy’s head once more before he forced himself back up onto his feet. 

“What I said, in’t it?”

He shook his head softly and I felt his eyes on me before I finally gestured him on over to the cassette stand. “I found a few new ones in the charity shop near my mum’s the other day, figured it’d be best to add to the collection after you nearly took the lot.” 

“Wow, and she’s dramatic too.”

I swatted his arm thoughtlessly, then stilled the second I realised what I’d done, but Matty was either none the wiser to my momentary pause or just didn’t care. “That come with the job then? Having to be mouthy?”

My jaw dropped a tad at his sudden cheek and I tutted around the tiny beginnings of a stuttered laugh, “You’re brave. I’ll let you have that. But honestly, you’re probably not wrong there either.” We shared a chuckle, coming to a standstill by the tower full of tapes, “Most of this lot have to be gobby enough to have a shout at bagging any customers, especially when Rob’s around.”

“Rob?”

I titled my head over towards the next stall which sat empty, “Yeah, he works the fruit and veg. Might’ve seen, or rather heard him last weekend.”

Matty gave a slow nod, dragging his gaze away from where I’d pointed and back to the many cassettes I had to offer.

“So what're we looking for this time?” I smiled, thoughts on The Cure tape he’d gifted me, although wary to mention it too soon. “80’s Punk? Electro? Rhythm and Blues?” I dragged that last one out, enjoying the sight of his smile and how it only appeared to lift on one side before dimpling the corner ever so faintly.

“Give me one of your favourites.”

“Mine?” I blinked.

He hummed again, fingertips trailing over multiple rows of cases. I watched the movement, caught up in it in actuality, before I tore my eyes back over to him. 

I caught him looking again, only this time around I didn’t much question it, not when the Saturday sun sitting high in the sky reflected so prettily in his eyes. Lightening them enough that they almost appeared to glow. 

I followed through on the ask though, once I’d finally managed to get my head in working order and drag my gaze back towards the task at hand, pulling out an extensive range of cassettes, both singles and albums, for him to view. 

Matty liked to talk, I quickly learned. He asked question after question, even when it seemed like he knew more than he was letting on at times, and he waited whenever someone else walked over, sitting amongst the back shelves with Nancy whilst I talked and sold a couple of vinyls.

Soon enough the sun had started to dip low in the sky and we realised that the hours had honestly escaped us. I was startled when I finally looked down at my phone to see that it was almost time to start packing away, having lost myself in the conversation we’d shared, or rather the debates we had both started over artists and genres, and what decade had done the most for music. 

“Oh shit! I can’t believe it’s almost half six!”

Matty appeared to remember himself at my exclaim, pulling out his own phone to see for himself and blowing out a large breath when it rang true. “Fuck, ah, I didn’t even realise.”

He actually looked somewhat apologetic when he met my eye again. 

I shook my head and waved him off, “You’re all good, actually one of the best market days I’ve had in truth, made almost double than what I did last weekend, even with the stash you claimed.”

With a soft laugh, Matty made to stand, holding out a hand to help me up too once he'd found his footing. I smiled softly at the offer and took it, perplexed by the careful callouses which lined the tops of his fingertips and the soft palm that accompanied them.

“You play?”

“Hm?”

My chin jerked over towards where an older acoustic hung on display in the stall across from mine, “Guitar. Do you play?”

His brows knitted together at the ask but he did eventually give me a low chuckle too, hand still holding my own. “Yeah, how’d you know?”

My eyes flickered up to find his and I gave a small smirk, unable to help myself. “Intuition.”

Matty scoffed in amusement, “Oh yeah? How’s that work?”

Shrugging a single shoulder, I stepped on closer to him, near enough that the brim of his hat shaded the top half of my face and the toes of our shoes almost aligned. “Just comes to me, I ‘spose.”

He quirked a questioning brow.

“What’s your intuition telling you now then?”

I bit down on the insides of my cheeks in hopes to contain my playful smile, figuring I’d best take the chance now while it was being handed to me. “That you’re gonna buy me a drink.”

“Am I?” Matty answered, voice dropping a fraction as a grin threatened to split his face.

Humming, I could only smile, eyes flickering between his own before they darted up towards the brim of his cap. With the hand not holding his, I reached up and settled it a little lower on his head, then glanced back down at that growing grin. “I mean, if you’re gonna keep coming back each Saturday then…”

His eyes narrowed a tad and finally he let go of the chuckle he’d been holding onto, leaning in even closer to me. “Intuition telling you that?”

“Hm, along with a couple other things.” I quipped, revelling in the hand that came to rest on the hem of my jeans. “So, that drink?”

Matty laughed, sweet and lovely. “Might know a place.”

“Good,” I murmured in the little space he’d placed between us, mouth almost touching his own before I was smirking and pulling away, “Guess you can help me pack up then.”

Matty huffed out a breathy chuckle whilst shook his head at me, watching as his hand slipped from mine. Though he wasn’t left lonely for too long, seeing as Nancy padded on over to him for another round of strokes whilst I set to picking up a horde of albums. “Tease.” He shot out, though he didn't look too disheartened.

I gave him a loud laugh in return, content with being labelled as such. “Well you’d best get to work then. Quicker we’re done here, quicker we can see about you and me sharing anything other than a drink.”

And he did, he set to work swift enough, the two of us slipping by one another with a gentle ease we shouldn’t have yet earned and sharing soft smiles in the lessening market bustle. All the while I continued to wonder and watch him, thinking back on the cassette he’d gifted me and the sudden fondness I’d found for him. 

“Ready to go?” He asked me not long later and I found myself never wanting to say no to that pretty smile of his. So I just nodded and took the hand he held out, Nance moving to join us too before we finally ventured our way out of the market street. Matty asking me every question he’d been holding back the further we got, and making realise that I had a horde of my own.

#the 1975 #matty healy #x reader #fluff #flirting #humour #fic #writing #plot #matty #the 1975 band #y/n #matty healy fic #matty the 1975 #reader #oneshot #imagines #heyidkyay

[changingplumbob]

Foster Household: Chapter 8, Part 6

Carson continues his appointment after which he and Kayleigh meet up with friends for dinner.

Low level content warning: discussions of anxiety disorder

Carson: I guess... the asthma has been harder than I thought

Dr H: How so

Carson: Well it seemed to just come out of nowhere. I’ve got this inhaler for asthma attacks but I don’t think I’ve had one yet. I still keep it on me, just in case. I get worried about what could set it off

Dr H: And how do you cope with that worry

Carson: Not well I guess. But I can look after myself. I have a whole cleaning routine for my room to keep it dust free

Dr H: Tell me about that

Carson begins to explain the process he does to clean his room, when he wakes up and after dinner, just to be safe.

Dr H: Can I ask, what would happen if you didn’t do this

Carson: Well there’d be dust and it would make me have an asthma attack which would probably hurt a lot if it didn’t kill me

Dr H: Okay. Now when you’re outside of your room, how do you feel about the asthma triggers then

Carson: Home isn’t too bad, mum makes sure it’s vacuumed for me. And most of the places at school are okay, at least first thing. Mrs Tinker, my teacher, told me that cleaners come every night at 6. They wipe everything down and vacuum. But by the end of the school day I get worried about the dead skin in the air though. Like how much will actually end up in my lungs

The conversation continues with Dr Hanks asking more about Carson’s routines and his worries. Kayleigh sits through as best she can, trying only to say things when she’s asked, or if Carson looks to her for support. She’s a bit shocked to learn how much he actually does to try avoid asthma attacks, not all of them logical choices. All her kids have tended to be academically gifted so when she hears Carson is doing things that would have no actual impact on an asthma attack she does wonder where the behaviour has come from.

Dr H: Thanks for sharing all of that Carson. I know it’s not easy to talk to a stranger about inner thoughts

Carson: It’s tough. I just… I guess I don’t want to be worried about asthma attacks all the time

Dr H: Based on today it does appear that you have developed an anxiety disorder. In particular I believe you may have OCD. Do you know what that is?

Carson: It’s like when you need everything to be neat?

Dr H: For some. Those with OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder, often find themselves developing obsessions or compulsions which they use to manage their anxiety. While it may work in the short term, it’s not healthy in the long term

Carson: So I’m broken

Kayleigh: He didn’t say that honey

Dr H: I don’t think you’re broken. I think you just need some extra help, we all need extra help from time to time

Carson: Can you get rid of it

Dr H: Psychological conditions are complex. They’re not like a tumour which can be cut out. What we need to do instead is work on strategies which will help you cope with the anxiety in a safer way that does not interfere with your life as much, so that you can enjoy life. We have a few options to help. One, which I would highly recommend, is going to therapy

Dr H: Talking through the anxieties can often help minimise the danger they present, and lesson the compulsions. However if your mood is already off balance I would suggest also starting on some medication to get you in a better headspace before starting therapy. How does that sound

Carson: Yeah, I mean… if it’ll help

Dr H: Now these medications can have side effects, and will take time to build up. Your medical insurance should help with the cost of them though

Kayleigh: Cost doesn’t matter, whatever he needs

Dr H: *smiles* I shall refer you to a therapist then, and send a script to the pharmacy for you to collect. We should meet up again after you’ve done that for a while to see how it’s affecting you. Does that sound okay Carson?

Carson: Do I… do I need to tell people

Dr H: Entirely up to you, perhaps it’s one of the first things you could discuss with the therapist. Do you have any other questions for me

Carson: Mum?

Kayleigh: How long until he can see a therapist

Dr H: It will take some time to match Carson with someone who specialises in OCD, more and more sims are needing our services lately, but you should hear from someone with an appointment in the next few months

Carson: Why do I feel like I need a nap

Kayleigh: You’ve had a big day, exams and then Dr Hanks. Are you sure you still want to do dinner

Carson: Yeah but… I probably wont tell them much until I’ve seen the therapist

Kayleigh: We will need to tell your dad, but apart from him it’s your health. You choose who you do or don’t want to know

Carson: So Charlie and Keira and…. Reece don’t have to know

Kayleigh: Not if you don’t want them to honey

Carson: Thanks mum, seriously

For dinner Carson and Kayleigh head to the Sulani Restaurant built by EA ID: VeronicaDumm. Onyx is here with their mum Eliza, Bob has opted to stay home and watch Fergus since Harvey won’t be there. Darwin and William are also invited to celebrate surviving the exams.

Kayleigh: Can we have a table for six please

Server: Mrs Foster? Of course! If you follow me we have a lovely table up here with the best view of the ocean… and the kitchen

Darwin: So bro how’d it go

Carson: Well they concluded I’m alive

Onyx: always nice to know

Carson: The dude we saw was pretty nice

Kayleigh: He was. Very good listener

Eliza: That’s good, our kids deserve proper care

Darwin: Did he like totally shrink your head

Carson: Does my head look smaller than normal

Darwin: It’s not a great light

Carson: *laughs* It was actually not stereotypical

Jimin: What can I get you to eat

Kayleigh: Oh I would love some Kalua pork, is that on the menu?

Jimin: It certainly is Mrs Foster

Eliza: I know we’re in Sulani but I don’t know about pork

Jimin: The chef does a fantastic Island Vegetable Feast if that would be more to your taste

Eliza: Yes thank you

Carson: And we’ll all have nectar

Kayleigh: We will not. Eliza and I can drink but the rest of you 14 year olds get rootbeer floats

There’s general grumbling from the kids but can’t be bending nectar rules when at the table nearby is top prosecutor Aaron dining with cop Amabel. They’re just tying up the case against Liam, Aaron would not be stepping out on his wife I promise.

Darwin: Go back to what you were saying Carson

Carson: Oh yeah so I was totally expecting some long as couch and an old white man telling me to close my eyes and imagine my childhood

Kayleigh: *laughs* luckily we didn’t get that

Eliza: No couch or no old white guy

Carson: Both. He was maybe 30’s and black. He did have three couches, but they were all short, I wouldn’t be able to stretch out on one

Onyx: But what if you really needed a nap

William: Nap before you go Onyx

Onyx: Don’t confuse me with your logic

William: Did it help

Carson: Yes, it did. He thinks it would be good to go see a therapist for a bit

Darwin: Makes sense. Oh yes! Food! Finally!

The various drinks and dishes arrive and everyone seated has a moment as they get excited about the food.

Eliza: Maybe I shouldn’t eat it all. I’m sure Bob would like to taste some

William: Thanks for getting us all dinner Mrs Foster

Kayleigh: You’re very welcome William

Eliza: Have you heard how your exams went yet

Carson: I did well

Darwin: Me too which is weird because I didn’t study

William: No, you just copied everyone else’s work

Darwin: Po-tay-toe po-tah-toe

Onyx: I did good mother so a horse-

Eliza: Yes but Onyx you did just get detention

Darwin: Don’t blame them Mrs Pancakes, Mr A was being Mr Arse that day

Carson: He gave me detention to

Onyx: See mother I told you

Eliza: *sighs*

Darwin: I better get home or my mums will wonder if I got killed

Everyone thanks Kayleigh and begins to head home.

William: I told you you’d be fine in the appointment

Carson: Yeah, it definitely helped. And who knows, therapy could be good

William: Well if you can’t talk to them you can always talk to me

Carson: Thanks Will. Hey is this an okay light for a selfie

William: You look great

Carson: Knew it

Kayleigh: Harv, we’re home! Are you-

Harvey: I’m here, I’m here

Kayleigh: Oh you do not look good. Did you rest properly today

Harvey: Of course I did. But then my muscles got stiff so I thought I should have a swim

Kayleigh: *sighs* That’s not going to get you better

Harvey: No but you’re going to get me better *kisses cheek*

Kayleigh: Did you get my text? I didn’t want to call in case you were napping

Harvey: I did, OCD huh

Kayleigh: Yep. But he doesn’t want to tell anyone about it just now so no blabbing

Harvey: I won’t, I won’t. Thanks for taking him,  wish I could of but-

Kayleigh: But you’re sick and need to rest

Harvey: Yeah. I think I’m getting better though, it’s just rough

Kayleigh: I know we can hardly call 11 an early night but let’s go sleep huh

Harvey: Yeah sleep sounds great sugar

This concludes the Foster chapter. Keira and Marta are here for now but next rotation will have their own home. Harvey and Kayleigh sleep and dream of retirement while Carson dreams of a clean room.

Previous ... Next (Nishidake)

#sims 4 #the sims #the sims 4 #R0808 #ChangingPlumbobStorytime #FosterHousehold #CarsonFoster #KayleighFoster #ElizaPancakes #OnyxPancakes #HarveyFoster

[girasollake]

rather be | e.m.

pairing: eddie munson x fem! reader

requested: yes

type: somewhere between angst and fluff i guess

summary: you go to a party feeling good about yourself. however your confidence which was already fragile, breaks completely after your unpleasant encounter with jason. after that you go to eddie, because he’s the only person who praises how you look like

warnings: fat shaming obvi, curse words, mention of alcohol, i think thats it

a/n: this was easy for me to write cause i feel like that and i based this fic a bit off of my own past with people saying shit, and the part with eddie is based on some of the convos i usually have with my boyfriend lmao, hope you guys will like it!

word count: around 2,200

You plopped down on your bed after a long day of school. Looking around your room you started thinking about what to wear for the approaching party at Nina’s. She was a popular girl on the cheer team but her popularity didn’t change her. She still remained a kind, nice girl who invited to every party most of the people from school, no matter their social background and status. You had never been to parties like that and decided to finally break that cycle. You even asked Eddie to come with you, but he refused. He had a performance at The Hideout and even though he wanted to go with you, he simply couldn’t. What’s more, parties like that weren’t his thing as well so he wasn’t that sad about not going. You didn’t blame him, you understood. After some time of thinking about outfits you finally got up and walked over to you closet. For about twenty minutes you had been throwing your clothes out of it to find something perfect but nothing seemed to meet your standards. That was until you spotted a black material at the bottom of your drawer. You pulled it out and tried it on immediately. It was a dress your favorite auntie had gifted you for your 17th birthday and surprisingly it still fitted. You had never worn it out though, you didn’t have a lot of confidence back in the day. But all of this had changed when you had met Eddie. He had shown you how beautiful you are every day and you were extremely grateful for that. He had helped you built up some of that confidence however you often still felt insecure. You were grateful for his actions, his words, but demons from the past were still haunting you and it felt impossible to get rid of them completely. When you put on this dress, they left for a moment. You felt pretty. You felt beautiful. You felt sexy. Smiling to yourself you took it off and went to the living room to iron it. After doing that you hung it on your mirror and then started doing your makeup.

☽ ☽ ☽

Your mom gave you a ride to the party. She insisted on you wearing some kind of jacket because it was immensely cold outside and the dress wasn’t covering your arms. You obeyed and took your black denim jacket, which was actually Eddie’s. Let’s just say, he thinks it disappeared under suspicious circumstances and doesn’t know who has it.

‘Call me if you need anything, okay honey?’ Your mom asked when you opened the door.

‘I’m gonna be fine mum.’ You replied.

‘I know.’ She gave you a small smile. ‘I just don’t want you to get hurt like last time. Kids are mean these days.’

‘I won’t get hurt.’ You got out of the car. ‘See you later mom!’

‘Bye, darling!’ You closed the door and looked at her one last time before she drove away.

A sigh escaped your lips when you saw all the people entering the place. You also felt this tight feeling in your chest when you saw all of the conventionally attractive skinny girls standing everywhere. No, (Y/n). Stop it. You look nice. For once just have fun. You thought and with that you entered Nina’s house. You wanted to find your friends but no one seemed to be around. You searched the crowds for any sign of Robin or Steve, they weren’t anywhere. Well, they were somewhere, but with so many people in a huge house like that it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. Finally, you found the kitchen and saw some beers next to the fridge. You grabbed one and headed somewhere else while also taking off your jacket. You wanted to have a good time and you were kind of enjoying yourself when you had found someone to talk to. It didn’t last long because when you went to get yourself another drink you bumped into someone.

‘Oh shoot, I’m so sorry.’ You mumbled and looked up to see Jason standing in front of you.

‘Yeah, you should be.’ He hissed and then looked you up and down. ‘Damn, you’re brave for wearing that.’ He snickered. ‘Ayo, boys, come check this out!’

You were confused. Why were you brave for wearing a dress? A cute one, at that.

‘What do you mean?’ You chuckled and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.

‘I just think people like you shouldn’t wear dresses like this. You’re giving it a bad look.’

‘Excuse me? What do you mean by “people like me”? You whispered but tried your best for it to sound at least a bit intimidating.

‘I think you know exactly what I mean, piggy.’ He whispered straight into your face.

You heard all of his friends laughing behind and you felt your face getting hot.

‘What? Gonna cry?’ He asked when he saw your eyes filling up with tears.

‘You’re such a son of a bitch.’ You muttered. ‘I look nice.’

His laughter filled up the whole room, ‘I don’t know who told you that, but they have a bad taste. The dress would be nice if someone like Chrissy was wearing it, not you. Don’t flatter yourself.’ He remarked. ‘Now go change or leave before I’ll throw up by just looking at you.’

You turned around and ran away, tears streaming down your face and messing up your makeup. You went to the nearest bus stop and found the route that would take you to The Hideout. After fifteen minutes of silently crying on the bus you stepped out of it and headed to the pub. Then you realised how you must look. You retreated and started looking for Eddie’s van in the small parking lot, you spotted it almost immediately. You walked over to it and sat down on the cold pavement with your back pressed to the vehicle. It was in fact freezing and you were glad your mom had made you take that jacket. You covered your face with your hands and started sobbing again, you wondered why some people were that mean. You had started healing from the last time it happened and now everything hit you twice as hard.

‘Come onnn, I don’t want to be late mom!’ A twelve year old you tugged on her sweater.

‘Okay, okay, get in the car, I’ll be right there.’ She replied and went back to the conversation she was having on the phone.

You took the present in your hands and headed outside. You were going to a friend’s birthday party and you were even more excited because your crush was going as well. You smoothed out your dress and held the present tightly in your hands when your mom entered the car. The ride went rather quickly, maybe due to your happiness and excitement overwhelming you slightly. You got out of the car and knocked on the door.

‘Hi! Happy Birthday, Joe!’ You cheered and have the boy a quick hug along with the present.

‘Thank you, (Y/n/n).’ He smiled and let you in.

You went inside and greeted your other friends, along with the boy you fancied. You were having nice time talking, gossiping and laughing with your female friends when the boys went to a different room. After a while you decided to go to the bathroom and sadly, walk next to the room they were in.

‘Man, I can’t believe you invited her.’ You heard your crush speaking.

‘What do you mean? She’s nice.’ Joe replied. ‘She’s my friend.’

‘Yeah, but don’t you worry that she’s gonna eat all the food?’ Your crush snickered.

‘To be honest I thought that the floor would collapse when she entered your home.’ Another boy peeped in.

‘Who are you guys talking about?’ Another voice asked.

‘Oh, (Y/n) (L/n). I mean it’s not hard to not know which one it is.’ They all laughed and you tried your best to hold it together.

You didn’t want to go to the toilet anymore, you wanted your mom. So that’s why you went over to the house phone and quickly called her number. Soon enough, when she heard you crying, she was there to get you.

All of the memories came back to you at once when Jason had said those words. You just wished Eddie would finish his gig and go outside to get you before you freeze to death. You almost wanted to go inside and get him, but that would be unfair. He deserved to play with his friends and have fun, you didn’t want him to leave them because of you. You wrapped your arms around yourself and tried to heat yourself up while you were waiting.

‘(Y/n/n)?’ You looked up and saw Eddie heading your way, it was nice that you didn’t have to wait that long for him. ‘What are you doing here? Weren’t you supposed to be at that party or something?’

‘Ye-ah. I was.’

‘Is everything okay? Shit, were you crying?’ He asked when he finally approached you. ‘Oh god, what is that dress? It looks hella amazing on you, baby.’

‘Don’t lie Eddie.’ You whispered and shook your head.

‘I’m not. Why would you think that?’ He asked and furrowed his brows, and when you didn’t reply he continued. ‘Did someone say something?’

You nodded your head and a few tears fell down your face, ‘I just wanted to feel pretty for once.’

‘Hey, hey, don’t fucking say that. You are pretty, you always are.’ He said and brought you into his arms, your cries echoing throughout the parking lot. ‘Who said something?’

‘Jason.’ You whispered. ‘He said I-.. I shouldn’t be wearing that dress. Because I make it look bad.. And-.. And it would look better on someone like Chrissy.’

‘That’s the biggest bullshit I’ve ever heard.’ He replied instantly. ‘The dress is nothing without you and you are the one that makes it look so hot. Jason is a dick who doesn’t know shit. He just likes to talk down on other people, don’t think about his words.’

‘You don’t understand Eds..’ You sobbed. ‘I can’t stop thinking about all of the situations that have made me the insecure person that I am. The memories are replaying in my head every second and it sucks. It fucking sucks because they are consuming me and even though I have memories of you telling me the good stuff, it’s not fucking enough. The thoughts are always there, always, and I can’t push myself to think about my body the way you do. I just can’t…’ You snuggled your face closer to his chest and let him stroke your back delicately. ‘I’m so sick of feeling like this Eds, and I can’t stop it, I don’t know how to stop it. Every time I start to feel better it consumes me over and over again, and today just… It broke me even more than I already was. I don’t want you to see me the same way they do.’

He pulled away from you and grabbed your face in his hands, ‘Listen, okay? I do not care what anyone thinks of you. I love you. I have never met a person more perfect than you. You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I love your body, every fucking inch of it, you hear me? Every. Fucking. Inch. They can show me thousands of models with those so called ‘perfect bodies’ and I’ll still choose you, because to me it is your body that is perfect, no one else’s. I know I can’t make you look at yourself like I see you, but I’m willing to try even more. You deserve to see yourself like I see you. Fuck them. Fuck Jason. Fuck anyone who thinks they can comment on what you look like. Okay?’ He finished and you just nodded while trying to process it all. ‘Repeat after me, ok? I am beautiful.’

‘Eddie, I ca-‘

‘Shut up. I am beautiful.’

‘I am.. not.’

‘(Y/n) I swear to god I’m going to drive you over with my van.’ He threatened. ‘Say the fucking sentence.’

‘I can’t.’

‘Yes you can.’

‘Can we go? I’m freezing.’

‘Not until you say it.’

‘I don’t want to say it Eddie.’ You cried.

‘You can do it, (Y/n/n). You know why? Because you are beautiful.’

‘I am…’ You whispered and swallowed thick saliva. ‘…beautiful.’

‘See? Was it that hard?’ He asked and kissed the top of your head. ‘I’m gonna keep making you say that until you believe it yourself.’

You groaned and hit his chest with your head. You didn’t know how to feel because a part of you felt like you didn’t deserve his help and kind words, the other however, it was grateful for his determination to try and change your way of thinking.

‘You ready to go home?’ He asked.

‘Can I stay at yours?’

‘Of course, sweetheart.’

You chuckled, ‘I thought that nickname was reserved for your guitar?’

‘Things change, now shut up and get inside.’ He replied and opened the door for you. ‚Wait, is that my jacket?’

support me - comment &/or reblog! thank you<3

taglist:@r93339 @stvrdustalexx @cursedandromedablack @ccosmic-illusion @luvwanda @justice4lils @heizenka @wolfstarsimpxx @miss-bloodbath @screambih @lyntic @freeshavocadoooo  @naturalswifty89 @bvmbshell @alainabooks143 @squidwardsluverxx @phantomxoxo @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @stilesks @ilovedilfs32 @kaitlin-r130 @greengarsstuff @axen-gers @088i880 @ilovefictionalbrunettes @ofherscarlettwitchways @bookfrog242 @imhereforoscarisaac @hawkins-hs @onehotgreasymechanic @vasiag

#stranger things #eddie munson #imagine #x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #joseph quinn #eddie munson boyfriend #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x y/n #eddie munson fluff

[our-transmasculine-experience]

It's been on and off for what feels like the last couple months but I think I might be trans. I kinda remember wanting to be a boy when I was a little kid and I remember I used to try to intentionally make my voice sound deeper when I was like 15(? or maybe 14, something around those ages?) because I hated how my voice sounded but I stopped because my sister and mum took the piss out of me for doing it one time. I want to try presenting more masculine than I already try to do but my parents feel like a massive fucking roadblock to this. There's nowhere I know of that sells binders in person and I don't want to deal with the issues that could come from ordering them online(mainly my parents asking me what I ordered and stuff like that), my mum doesn't want me to cut my hair shorter because she thinks it'll be a shock to me or w/e. I hate having boobs so fucking much(they feel horrible and sweaty and I want them gone so badly but a part of me feels like that specific part might just be sensory issues) and there's no fucking way my parents are gonna let me get rid of my tits and also I remember during a car ride with my mum, sister and grandmother my grandma went on a rant about people asking for pronouns or w/e and while I don't think it got explicitly transphobic(or maybe it did, I don't remember too well) I ultimately remember coming out of it thinking "I will only come out once I'm able to move out of my house and be financially independent :)". But my parents don't even fucking let me try to get a job and I feel like I can barely even get any form of independence and I just feel so goddamn pathetic and with all the shit going on in the UK about trans rights I don't think I'll ever be able to come out even if I am able to eventually move out and the fact that I have an autism diagnosis(which I also fucking hate having so much and I sometimes wish I was never diagnosed) is just a whole other can of worms that I know will also be a massive fucking roadblock to coming out and actually transitioning. I don't want to say that my parents are transphobic(my dad at least seems like the safest person to come out to out of everyone) but my mum still sometimes accidentally misgenders a childhood friend of mine even though she's kinda known him long after he came out as trans and for some reason, I don't know if I'm misremembering what she's said but when she told me that my friend came out as trans I remember her saying something along the lines of "Just because [ ] is a boy doesn't mean you are too"(he wasn't there for this when she said that fyi) so I guess there's a decent chance she's just not gonna accept me as trans and I'm also scared that both of my parents will just think it's a stage at best and decide that they've had enough of me and kick me out at worst and I just fucking hate that I'm like this though I could be massively overthinking all of this and I just feel like shit about it, I just fucking wish I was born a guy or even some genderless blob so that I'd never have to think about this shit ever again. It's all just so suffocating and I hate being like this.

Sorry for the wall of text I just needed to get this off my chest at the very least.

i’m so, so, sorry that you have to deal with that. that sounds absolutely awful, and if you ever need to vent again or ask for advice, my ask box is open! (most of the times)

#shit like this breaks my heart #trans #queer #ftm #trans guy #trans man #trans boy #lgbtq #lgbt #transmasc #transgender

[mikeellee]

Hi 👋

What are your opinions about mitsuki bakugo and what makes you think that she is a better mother than inko. I agree with you when it comes to this and I think shiggy had the best mum but I do just want you to go into deeper detail about it

Hi @bibibbon

First things first, I'm on my job right now (waiting instructions. I'm on my grace period) but I do have an answer for you.

I want to be clear I don't like the whole trope "slap on his head" even if is 100% harmless and comical. That being said, Mitsuki didn't slap on her son here bc she is EVIL and ABUSIVE. Bk was acting like an ass and she discipline him.

Yes, in real life such action would make people frown but like mha is not real. Plus, Asian moms can be like that. Hell, hispanic mom too.

"Behave or I'll use my sandals/chinelo on you"

I'm latina. I've seen rude kids being threaten by this to behave...hate or love, this alone is not indication of abuse. Its a way to make the kids not act rudely...in my time, there was spooky stories too. "If you do this, the monster will get you" you know? It's a tool. Not expert on motherhood but a mom disciplining her son is not always equal to ABUSE.

Also look at the image I shared...people are hanging up on hating Mitsuki for this panel but like ...her son is threating to beat her up. Look, BK has show to be rude with his mom (if he was being abuse...he wouldn't have provoked her)

*He calls her hag. What mom likes to be called that?

* I remember a short where Bk asks his father why he married his mom and then at the end he said "so you couldn't get rid of her" haha hilarious isnt it?😒 I think this one is in smash. I think.

Also...let's imagine this: IF she was abusing her son...what this adds to the story? Many fics use this trope to justify BK. "His mom was abusive" ok...and what about Izu? Is he not allowed to be angry? Is "Mitsuki is abusive" free jail card?

Also the fics NEVER gave us a reason as why this woman would abuse her son. "Abuse doesnt need to have a reason" I agree in parts, its just if you are to do a story like that usually has a trigger "she lost her job/lost her hubby/was abused as well"

Mitsuki has none of this.

"Why you think she is better than Inko?" Well, she does parenting! As much people may not like "the slap on his head" it's something. Inko does nothing!!!!

On the war arc 2 the eletrical bangaloo...Mitsuki is seen worried for her son "oh no. Its raining you know our son's quirk dont fare well under the rain"

Does Inko knows anything about her son's quirk? Nah. She just weeps and does nothing.

Like Inko is such shitty mom that she lives in an extreme scale. Either fics shows her as LE BEST MOM EVER (read a fic where Inko was OP and her son is still abused and still asks for her to not hurt "kaachan"😒) or the worst mom ever. (One where she was happy her son got a quirk so now she can gave a life. She is going out and is barely at home, in essence abandoning her son, bk calls her auntie and still abuses Izu)

Nao is the best mom. No questions here. I dont like how all the Shimuras arent important.

Also she and Mitsuki are good moms.

The mc ...is saddle with his abuser and a pretty neglectful mom.

Not of the implication "Inko was thin but thanks to Izu being quirkless she got fat"

I dont think Inko has maturity to be a mom...but I see her as a lonely person who wanted to have a family.

She is a pathetic and sad character.

But hey this is a fandom where people say "Shig is so deep" and sigh...what can we do?

#hori is a bad writer #izuku deserves better #inko is a bad mom #inko Midoriya critical #she being abusive didnt even contribute shit to the story #Izu is alone and hurt and no one cares #“mha should have been darker” my god it already is

[ginnympotter]

I’ve been enjoying all your prompt fics!!! If you’re still doing prompts, I saw a tiktok where this girl was a natural redhead but pranked her husband and said something like “oh i need to go get my hair dyed again” and he’s like what do you mean get your hair dyed??? and she’s like “omg you’ve never noticed this whole time i dye my hair red?” Anyways I thought it could be a funny jily scenario! But also I just wanted to share that funny moment with someone lol you don’t have to write a fic about it if you don’t want!

thank you so much!!! lol i love this I'm gonna make it muggle au tho!!! thanks for the idea hehe

James stood by the bathroom doorframe and watched as Lily finished putting her mascara on. "Hey."

"Morning," she said, smiling brightly at him. "Had a good lay-in, yeah?"

"Mhm," he said, rubbing his eyes. "Had a good lay last night as well."

Lily snorted, shaking her head as she grabbed a lip balm from the cabinet.

He walked up behind her and put his arms around her waist, bending down and snuggling his chin into the crook of her neck. "You know what today is?"

"Hm?"

"One month since we moved in together."

Lily smiled, bringing a hand up and patting James's cheek. "Well, what do you know. A terrible month, really."

"Truly horrendous. Is that why you're up so early? Packing your things?"

"Can't get rid of me that easily," she retorted, turning around and kissing his lips.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he said as he leaned in for more.

Lily indulged for a few sweet moments before pushing away sadly. "No, I'm actually off to the hair salon. Time for some touchups."

"Gonna do anything adventurous? Like, dye your hair blonde or something?" James asked, running his fingers through her hair.

He expected Lily to laugh, but she looked at him very seriously and said, "Why would I do that? I already am blonde."

James furrowed his eyebrows. "Lil, I hate to tell you this, but...you're a redhead."

Lily looked at him questioningly. "What, you really didn't know?"

"Know what?"

She sighed and patted him on the shoulder. "I guess living together means finally sharing all our secrets..."

"What are you on about, Lil?"

She took a deep breath, then looked up at him. "My hair is naturally blonde. I dye it every few months to keep it red."

James's face fell. "You're kidding."

"No, really, it's just like Sansa Stark, or Emma Stone, they do it too-"

"Neither of them are redheads?!" he asked in outrage.

She reached up and kissed his cheek. "Sorry you had to find out this way."

She walked out of the bathroom to the kitchen counter. It took a moment but James finally followed her.

"You're serious about this? But...I've seen pictures of you as a kid! And your hair was red!"

"You know my Mum. She's relaxed about these things. When I was 6 I told her I wanted to be like Ariel from The Little Mermaid and she let me do it. Never looked back."

"Aren't there laws against that or something?" James asked, exasperated. "The toxins in the hair dye dangerous for children or whatnot?"

"Don't think so, love."

James was utterly perplexed. "Why didn't...why didn't you ever tell me?"

She rummaged through her purse, making sure she had everything. "Well, the like, third compliment you gave me when we met was about my hair. What was I supposed to do? Crush your dreams right then?"

James looked despondent. He put his hands on his head. "Well, you could've at least broke it to me at some point! I mean, two years together, and nothing?"

"I'm sorry, James," she said, not quite meeting his eye. Then he noticed her trying to fight off the smallest smile.

James got a hold of himself. "Alright, well, why don't you just grow your natural hair color out, then?"

"Oh, James, neither of us want that-"

"No, I do, I do," he insisted, grabbing her hands, forcing her to look at him. "If we're really committing to each other, then I've got to love you for who you truly are. Sure, blondes have never been my type, but... I'll manage, I suppose."

Lily scoffed. "You'll manage?"

"Sure. I do it for love."

"Mhm."

"So grow it out. Or why don't you get your hair stylist to just remove the hair dye?"

"Well, it's not that simple-"

"You know what, it's fine. I'll just text your mum for pictures from before you decided to become Princess Ariel," he said, taking out his phone.

"I don't know if she has any..."

"Hey, Mrs. Evans," James started. "Would love to see pictures of Lily while she was still a blonde. Send them all my way-"

Lily took his phone out of his hand and laughed. "Alright, alright! You caught me! I was kidding, okay!"

"I knew it," he said triumphantly, pocketing his phone and laughing.

"I had you there for a moment though!"

"Tah, barely a moment!"

"What if I did dye my hair blonde?" she asked, snaking an arm around his waist. "Would you really still love me?"

James contemplated it for a moment, then kissed her and murmured against her lips, "Eh. You'll still do."

#fanfic #drabble #jily #jily au #one shot #hp

[myohmyimanxious]

TOH HEADCANONS

- Alador wasn't present for any of his children's births. Not bc he didn't want to be, but bc odalia wouldn't allow him time of work to do so

- He was so happy to see amity grow up looking more like him with the brown hair and similar traits

- He wishes he put up more of a fight against odalia for how she treated their kids, and feels guilty about not being more present and standing up for them

- Eda and Raine were the worst people to put together, bc they caused C H A O S during their hexside days

- Sometimes Lilith, Darius, Alador and Perry would also join in, but it was mostly Eda and Rainey

- They have a Look™️ which means LETS CAUSE TROUBLE ON PURPOSE

- It's part of the reason Darius sought out Raine for the rebellion and knowledge

- Darius and Raine and Eberwolf always played pranks of Adrian Graye but never got caught. Adrian found it infuriating

- Darius takes Hunter in after everything goes down

- Eberwolf lives next door and likes to cause chaos and wrangles hunter into doing it too much to Darius's dismay

- Mud baths are a staple. But hunter and eber have to be hosed down before being allowed back into the house

- Hunter begged for Darius to tell him about his predecessor after the dust settled. It took Darius a while to do so but he did eventually

- Lilith will not hesitate to punch anyone who disrespects hooty

- They're ride or die pals forever and always

- Hooty still kinda freaks Raine out even after all this time

- Hunter and Amity have a secret pact that is basically if one of them needs the other for any kind of fight they come no questions asked

- They also go to each other when talking about childhood trauma

- Luz and Gus bond over losing a parent

- They first do so in the human realm when Gus asks about her dad

- Gus's mum died when he was like 5 or 6 so he doesn't remember her very well other than that she was ill for most of his childhood

- Gus has no idea how strong he is

- He was arm wrestling amity and accidentally hurt her arm bc he was so into it

- The hexsquad don't get it when Luz calls him Lennie after that, and she won't elaborate

- Willow gives people specific plants to certain people as gifts

- For example, Gus gets one that symbolisies friendship, amity gets one symbolising strength, Luz gets one symbolising honour, and hunter gets one symbolising love

- The way the others had to hold back tears when she gave them out made her cry as well

- Hunter is terrible at sharing unless it's with Gus or Willow

- Eda will bite you if you try and take food from her plate

- Raine tried once, they never tried afterwords tho

- Lilith and hooty go off on little adventures every now and then

- King and Luz always refer to each other as brother and sister, even in the human realm

- King is also very clingy over Luz and Eda now (more so than before)

- I like to think that if the collector is tamed and looked after they get to be a real kid, who doesn't cause chaos for the sake of it

- I also like to think that the collector and hunter would be close almost like a sibling relationship but not quite?

- Like the collector is like MY GRIMWALKER HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS ME and hunter is like this is my star child who I can't get rid of

- Initially, bc of this, the collector is clingy with hunter and somewhat jealous of his other friends but soon grows used to it

- Hunter is basically their parent but also sibling? Like I say it's an odd dynamic

- King and the collector often hang but it's a little awkward at first

- Lilith and Raine actually get along really well once they properly get to know each other, tho they don't hang out much

- When the do they just embarrass Eda

- Luz is still very much an outcast at school when she returns to the human realm but it doesn't bother her in the same way as it did before

- She's a lot harder now so stands up for herself and others more as a result of her time in the Boiling Isles

#the owl house #toh #luz noceda #the golden guard #eda the owl lady #edalyn clawthorne #hunter the owl house #amity blight #the king of demons #gus porter #raine whispers #lumity #eda clawthorne #lilith clawthorne #king the owl house #the owl house hunter #willow park #alador blight #darius deamonne #eberwolf the huntsman #odalia blight #hooty the owl house #the owl house headcanons #toh headcanons

[blubushie]

Warning for trauma shit. This is pure vent and contains (a lot of) mention of CSA.

Fucking hate getting a Google Drive folder from an investigator and he goes "hey can you ID if any of these are you so we can add them to the charges, each one is gonna be an additional count for possession" and I have to meticulously analyse an out-of-focus wall to see if I recognise the fucking wallpaper.

He sent me 19 images. 12 were titled "[trigger-word]boy[number]". All of those twelve were me as a preteen--with me cropped out of course, but I know those walls. There were two more I couldn't ID as me or not because the shade of wall was right but the image was so out-of-focus I couldn't tell if that was actually the wallpaper of the caravan I grew up in or not.

Y'know how fucking disturbing it is to find out someone you've never met before has a fucking picture of you that you can't remember ever being taken, but you know those eyes, and you know those buck teeth, and you know that jaw, and that scar over your eye you can barely see if the light catches it just right, and you know that's you? And not just that, but there's a total of 26 pieces of media of you as a kid that he had in his possession, 5 of which are explicit and one of those five is the full 2-hour and 27-minute video of the torture you endured at twelve fucking years old that still haunts you when you try to sleep at night.

These are pieces of my life--ten years old and smiling, eleven and laughing, my twelfth birthday and the cake Mum made, the day my parents brought me to the Kangaroo Sanctuary in Alice Springs, two of me playing baseball, one up at bat and the other mid-pitch, the first time I ever sat on a horse, I'm nine years old and missing my two right front teeth because I tripped into the sink when I got up late one night to piss and took them both out at the same time. Little snippets of my life and growing up through the years that're tainted because I know this man who I've never met knows far more about my life than I know about his.

64 counts for possession. 26 of which are me. Jesus fucking Christ.

Just when I think it's behind me, somehow it comes back to rear its ugly head. Like my past is haunting me with the knowledge I'll never be rid of it. We're always gonna find one more, and we'll chuck the book at him but then we'll find out he sent it to a dozen different other bastards we can't identify, and tracing it is hopeless. It's out there. It'll always be out there. There's no escaping it. There's no outrunning your past when it runs at 100mbps.

I'm going to walk into that courtroom, and he'll recognise me--same eyes, same split chin, grown into my teeth but the scars are still there--and I won't know him from Adam. He'll know what I look like stripped down to skin--not how I look now, but how I looked a decade ago, yeah.

He'll recognise me. I hope he never forgets my face. Hope he sees it when he rots in a fucking gaol cell for however long they put him away for. I hope it haunts his memory at night the way it's haunted mine all these years.

#blu a fuse

[sounwise]

CH: How have you dealt with your bereavement? PM: The main answer is my kids. I don’t know what I would have done without them. Being such a close family, it hit us pretty much equally. They lost their best friend as well as their mum. It hit us all hard, but they have been very strong and very helpful. We’ve cried a lot together. None of us has held that back. We pretty much still cry, daily. Because Linda was so important, so much the center of everything in our lives. So it was mainly the kids. But I did get a counselor, realizing that I would need some sort of help. And although it’s not much of a British tradition to do that, I was married to an American so I know quite a lot of people who have no problem with psychiatrists and counselors. Funnily enough, Linda used to know psychiatrists when when was young; she’d say, “I used to sort out all their problems for them.” And you know that’s true. So I knew a particular one, who I talked to. He was a good help. It was mainly to get rid of some of my guilt. When anyone you love this much dies, one of the first things is that you wish you could have been perfect—every minute of every day. But nobody’s like that. I would say to Linda if we were arguing, “Look, I’m not Jesus Christ. I’m not a saint. I’m just some normal man. I’ll try to do something about it but that’s who I am, that’s who you’re married to.” So I had quite a bit of guilt and probably still have. You remember arguments. When you’re married you don’t remember them so much, you just get on the next day and as long as you don’t have too many and they’re not too bad you figure it evens itself out. But when someone dies, you remember only the arguments in the first couple of weeks and the moments when I wasn’t as nice as I would have wanted to be. So I need counseling with that. I found that really helpful. (continued under the cut)

[—from “Tears and Laughter” in USA Weekend (October 30, 1998)]

Friends have been very supportive, we’ve got a lot of lovely sincere friends who, because of the nature of Linda and I, unless they’re sincere they’re not our friends anyway, and they’ve been very helpful. And funnily enough, and something that I didn’t expect, the public at large have been a huge help. I thought that if you didn’t know Linda, you might not get it. But I was wrong. So many of the thousands of letters that I got said, “Although we never met Linda, you could tell that she was a great woman.” For some of them, it was because of her attitude to animals. A lot of others said it was because of the way that she brought up our kids. Yet they wouldn’t even know that we had kids, you hardly ever saw their pictures in the paper, we guarded their privacy in case when they grew up they wanted it. We figured you couldn’t rob them of that. The public said, a lot of them said, “It was just the way that she brought the family up,” and I realized that so many people did get what Linda was about. From one little fragment, you could tell. It still shone through. The public sent very uplifting quotes and prayers. A lot of them had been through a similar grief. They’d write and say how they’d lost their wife and this little poem they’d enclose had sustained them. A lot of people sent me a lot of good stuff that helped me. But it was mainly the kids. Now, when I get sad, I do pretty often; like if I go for a ride she’s not with me—I find myself going down, I let myself go down for a moment, just because I have to. And then I try to counterbalance it and think that Linda’s life was very upbeat. She wasn’t a downbeat kind of person, so she wouldn’t like it now if I went downbeat. She was always the one for the joke. If you spat inadvertently while you were talking to her, she’d say, “Do you serve towels with your showers?” She just had a line for everything. If you looked a little inattentive while she’s talking she’d say, “What, am I boring you?” She was a really funny lady, very witty. A delicious sense of humour. She was happy. So I use that now. I balance every sad moment with a happy moment. That kind of helps day to day. It helps me get through.

#paul mccartney #paul and linda mccartney #1998 #usa weekend #paul and grief #this has been in my drafts for many moons but it remains A Lot :'(

[adelaidebeorna]

!!! You've got an Emperor's New Groove OC too?? Will you tell me about them? :D (/not forced, but this movie's been taking over my brain the past two weeks and like making friends!!)

Holy shit. Hell yeah I will!

It’s a tad bit confusing, but originally she’s just a girl from our world that wakes up in the show, and while trying to explain how she got there (through a lot of lying and bending the truth, she accidentally writes herself into the show) ((don’t ask me how, fanfic magic or something))

So Addie=girl from human world

Adelaide=girl from the show

But they’re both the same person, if that makes sense. (And she’s totally not me, that would be silly 🤭)

Adelaide’s lore is still under construction in my mind, but the bits I’ve come up with are:

-She comes from an island off the cost of the Uk, called Bayti.

-Her family are the royal family for said island, following an ancient civil war between the two clans that inhabited the island (The Beorna clan and The Shocklach clan)

-Her family consists of:

•King Byron

•Queen Minerva

•Prince Stuart (oldest, but not allowed to be king)

•Prince Alden (also not allowed to be king)

•Prince Joseph (Low-key doesn’t want to be king, bro cba)

•Princess Adelaide (Technically next in line, but is unaware of that)

•Princess Rihannon (Girlie pop has no idea what’s going on half the time, but it’s okay cus she’s cute 🫶) ((Totally not based on my sister))

-The head family of the Shocklach’s wanted to become a part of the British empire, but literally everyone else was like “no wtf” and so civil war.

-Beorna clan won, specifically Adelaide’s ancestors, and they were appointed as leader, which eventually developed into a monarchy.

-After the civil war, the Beorna clan were civil enough to allow the Shocklach’s to stay on the island, and after a couple of centuries it was assumed no one really cared anymore.

-But some decedents of the “we wanna be colonised” Shocklach’s were still a bit miffed about how things had gone. They weren’t happy with the fact that the Beorna’s had let them stay, or that they had no qualms against the Shocklach people being aristocrats that regularly mingled with the royal family… One family in particular wanted to replaced the current royal family.

-Mallory, a lady in waiting of Adelaide’s, and a girl who Adelaide considered a friend, was one of said Shocklach people who wanted to replace the royals.

-Mallory concocts a plan to get rid of the royals one by one, starting with Adelaide because Adelaide actually trusts her. So Mallory gets Adelaide shipped off to South America, which is how she ends up in Peru 🫶

-Mallory’s plan doesn’t work tho, and by the end of the events of the show, Adelaide’s mum and her fav brother Joseph show up at Kuzco’s palace like “Yo, heard you got my kid, can I have her back?”

I haven’t thought about what to do after that, but yeah.

BUT. In the last episode of season one, she is in effected by Kuzco’s wish, mainly because she isn’t from that universe, but also for plot purposes. And so, Kuzco finds out that she isn’t from his world. So when Minerva and Joseph show up at the end of season 2, they’re both as equally confused.

That’s all I can recall from the top of my head rn, I’m currently on a bus lmao, but seeing as people are actually interested, I’ll leave my wattpad username at the end, and I’ll quickly go publish the few chapters I have finished. (I wasn’t joking about the 101 drafts, I have a problem)

So anyway, wattpad user name: Actuallyabiscuit0602

(Don’t judge me for using wattpad pls, it’s all I know)

#kuzco #the emperors new groove #the emperors new school #fanfic #original character

[soullikethesea]

I'm really freaking angry that I didn't have the time/spoons to do things that are good for me this week. (And had way too much work). And then today during my workday I got freaking sickkkk. Noooooo. It feels like it's the same freaking thing that I had a few weeks ago and I hate it. My ear's not closed yet and I started using nasal spray to try to prevent it from closing this time, but fuck this bullshit. I was really looking forward to a weekend in which I could actually *do* fun things.

It makes me feel trapped, because my life isn't changing any time soon. I still have two weeks like this and then three calmer weeks, but after that a period like this again. Only after February are things supposed to calm down for some months.

TW: abuse, violence/homicide

I also keep watching these German documentaries in which grown-up abused kids talk about their experiences and I probably shouldn't do that. It hits close to home. One in particular, where a boy reminded me of Fox and Robin a lot. He was so desperate and open to connect. Rejected by his mother. And even as an adult, you could see the repressed tears and the not-understanding. Verzweiflung.

He ended up threatening to stab his mother as a 10 year-old, after which he was removed from the home and from all of his supports. He keeps showing up at his mother's home, desperate, begging to be allowed to stay there and not have to go back. I begged and begged as a child, before Lucas came to be.

When Fox was the main daily life part, we functioned pretty well at school and socially. Except for his Verzweiflung around my mum. What do you do when someone actively hates you? Especially when you still love them? Apparently you split. So the fox carries most of the anger and Boundary that we could not express. The boundary being; "leave me alone". I was around 13 or 14 and Bf told me many times that I needed to be mean to my mum, show her what she is like, and he said that he could help me get rid of a body and to make it look like an accident or self-defense. I'm sure he was probably joking or in a narcissistic fantasy, but in my mind it felt like the ultimate loyalty. I felt like I Needed To Defend Myself and this was the only way. The more normal way of talking about the conflict felt so unbelievably scary that this seemed like the better option. No moment for anyone to say something back. (Of course also no actual resolve of the conflict, but apparently I had zero hope for that anyway).

It went pretty far. I considered my self-harm to be practice with handling knifes. I practised the scenario by stabbing stuffed animals. I had this whole idea of how it would go.

Pretty scary, huh?

Well, it definitely scared me.

I never ended up doing it. Changed the fantasy scenario to killing my friend's mom as she killed mine. Revenge, but slightly less personal.

T asked me to hurt or confront abusers in imagination as part of a trauma processing technique and it brought up all of this scary stuff.

What's helping is to look at the confrontations in Avatar: The Last Airbender. (Spoiler alert). Katara decides not to hurt someone, even when she doesn't forgive the person. Zuko only redirects the lightning pointed at him. Aang is told by numerous other avatars to kill Ozai, but he still follows his own instincts not to and only takes away his powers so he cannot hurt others anymore.

I don't know if I'll take T's advice.

[i-try-to-write-stuff]

Entrapment - 4 (Innocuous)

Please do not read this fic if this is not your cup of tea. You have been warned, by clicking on Keep Reading means you have understood the warning. I am not responsible for your content consumption.

Meet me at my place at 6, it's important. Your message flashed on Tommy Shelby’s phone while he was in a family meeting. He was giddy with joy for the first time in a very long time. Polly noticed Tommy’s smirk.

“Thomas, you look happy, care to share with the family”, Polly interrupted John’s rant.

“Nothing. I am just happy that there are no more issues to deal with today.”

The whole family knew that Tommy was hiding something but kept mum. They were used to Tommy playing cards close to his chest and would be informed when he saw fit.

“If that’s all, Poll, let’s conclude this meeting here,” Tommy asked.

“Anyone else has anything to add to the agenda?” Arthur asked, and the room stayed silent.

“I’ll see you all tomorrow at the ball”, Tommy added while putting on his trench coat.

Tommy got in his car and drove off to his destination, your quaint little apartment. He parked in the basement, tipping the security guard generously for helping you out with the maintenance issues.

He rang the bell, and your voice came from inside, telling him the door was open. You were so bloody careless. What if it was some armed mugger, a rapist, or a murderer? You had zero self-preservation.

He let himself inside, removing his shoes because your house was a shoe-free zone. He found you sitting on the couch, staring at the wall blankly, while the centre table had some pamphlets lying.

“Y/N, darling, what happened?”

“Huh?”

“You texted me and asked me to come over.”

“Oh, yeah, I did, Thomas. Sit down.” You hoarsely said.

He came and sat near you. You turned to face him, wanting to tell him, but your throat closed. Taking a deep breath, you looked into his cornflower blue eyes, fuck, the baby would be half him and half you… It would be a cute kid. Was abortion a mistake? No, it can’t be. A child should be brought into this world when you’re ready, right? You had let your thoughts run amok. Your hands were shaking, and this was one of the significant decisions of your life, a life that you created.

Thomas saw your hands shaking and placed his hand over them, giving you time to blurt out what he already knew.

“I am pregnant, and I don’t know how that happened. I know we used condoms, but they are only 98 per cent effective,” you babbled incoherently.

“I just wanted you to know. I am not planning on keeping it.”

Thomas Shelby’s eyes got colder, his icy demeanor resurfacing, and his head turned towards the fliers splattered across the table. Some were related to abortion, and some were to pregnancy care. He turned towards you, observing you. You were fighting a battle within, and you were lost.

“Do I get a say in this?”

You nodded, wanting to hear his part before taking a significant step. Thomas was, after all, the father of this baby.

“I am thrilled about this baby, and I don’t want you to get rid of it.” He said while touching your stomach to persuade you.

“Thomas… Babies are much work; don’t you think babies deserve to be brought into a committed, well-established relationship.” You present your case, not backing down from the decision.

“I agree, a child should be brought in a committed relationship, they should have a loving upbringing, and I am willing to work on it. I want us to have this child, a child who is half me and half you, a perfect blend.

“What we have is barely a relationship.”

“I know, eh, but I will rectify that, I will work on it, I promise, I promise to take care of diaper duties.”

You chuckled, imagining big, scary Thomas changing a diaper.

“Thomas, we barely know each other. I don’t even know anything about you.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything?”

“How about I take you on a date tomorrow? Give me one chance to prove my worth, and if you’re not okay with what I have to offer, you can...”

You nodded. It seemed like a logical condition to you.  

You were yet to discover the limits Thomas Shelby was to go to have you. You were his, you would soon find out, but by then, it would be too late to run away.

#Dark Tommy Shelby x reader #Dark Tommy Shelby x Desi!reader #Dark Tommy Shelby x Black!reader #Dark Tommy Shelby x WOC!reader #Dark Tommy Shelby x Desi reader #Dark Tommy Shelby x Black reader #Dark Tommy Shelby x WOC reader #Dark Tommy Shelby x Y/N #Dark Tommy Shelby x You #Dark!Tommy Shelby x reader #Dark!Tommy Shelby x Desi!reader #Dark!Tommy Shelby x Black!reader #Dark!Tommy Shelby x WOC!reader #Dark!Tommy Shelby x Desi reader #Dark!Tommy Shelby x Black reader #Dark!Tommy Shelby x WOC reader #Dark!Tommy Shelby x Y/N #Dark!Tommy Shelby x You #Tommy Shelby x reader #Tommy Shelby x Desi!reader #Tommy Shelby x Black!reader #Tommy Shelby x WOC!reader #Tommy Shelby x Desi reader #Tommy Shelby x Black reader #Tommy Shelby x WOC reader #Tommy Shelby x Y/N #Tommy Shelby x You #Thomas Shelby x Desi!reader #Thomas Shelby x Black!reader #Thomas Shelby x WOC!reader

[philcoulsonismyhero]

I'm having a weird brain week because the old family shit has been stirred up, so I guess I'm rambling about it on here.

So (bear with me) I reinstalled my old LEGO HP games because I was getting bored of the superhero ones I've been playing and LEGO games are pretty much the only video games I can ever be bothered with, and hoo boy. (And I don't even mean the whole issue of 'the creator of this thing I still can't help but care about hates people like me now', I can mostly deal with that these days by just not putting any money anywhere near her direction and not engaging publicly with her work.)

Sometimes there's that one fictional character that was really important to you when a bunch of shit was going down in your life and so they end up intrinsically linked to that shit in your brain, and for me that's Lupin. Every time I go back to HP, I end up going back to obsessing over that guy, and more often than not it dredges up everything that I used him as a coping mechanism for. And this time it very much has.

Long story short-ish, I was 15 when my parents sat me and my sisters down and told us they were getting divorced. It was November, and that was the year that I was sitting my Highers, which at that point were the exams that your uni application would depend on the results of, i.e. the exams that at a private school obsessed with academic results you end up believing are going to determine the rest of your life. I was doing six, you're usually supposed to do a maximum of five, so I had no free periods and a reputation as Probably The Smartest Kid In My Year to uphold. So my parents told me they were getting divorced and I dealt with that by just putting my head down and Getting On With Things, because school was the thing I was good at, and had to be good at. (I got straight As, three subject prizes and Dux of School that year. Fuck you, circumstances.)

To be completely honest, despite the myriad of new stresses it caused, the divorce was kind of a relief because it had been inevitable. I have a very distinct memory of being quite a bit younger that 15 and standing in the kitchen by the doors through to the dining room and listening to my parents shouting at each other in there, and turning to my younger sisters and saying "This is going to end up in divorce." I can only remember a fraction of what went down in the years that led up to it, and not even half the reasons for them splitting up, but there was a lot of shouting when I was a young teen/pre-teen. I spent a couple of years being the shoulder that my mum cried on, and the person that my dad complained to about my mum, and I was about 13 and knew fuck-all about anything except for the fact that someone had to be the sensible one around here and try and mediate a bit. I was the oldest, the younger two shouldn't have to deal with All That, and the last thing we needed was anything or anyone introducing More Drama into the situation. I got bullied at school and I don't think I ever mentioned it to my parents. I do remember emailing one of those support services about the bullying, though, which I have to remind myself every time I think back and I'm like 'but it wasn't That Bad, was it?' I got deliberately tripped on the stairs once. Fortunately both of those assholes grew out of it in a year or two, and I finally stopped being in classes with one of them, although I never managed to get rid of the other guy. Trounced him in the final year physics exam, though, and boy did that feel good after years of "girls can't do physics".

Anyway. Being fifteen sucked, but I was good at school. And I was Sensible, and I didn't get into any of that Teen Drama that fiction and society both seemed convinced was inevitable, I did well in my exams, I didn't make a fuss about anything, I kept my head down and Got On With Things, and then two years into uni I crashed and burned dramatically because turns out I'm autistic and don't deal very well with new situations and never learned how to ask for help *jazz hands*

All this to say, 15 year old me took one look at Remus Lupin, designated Sensible Adult In The Room who was always the one helping other people and being Understanding and never complaining too much about his own situation despite everything always seeming to collapse around him and went ah. That one. That character would Understand. Plus, he was an adult who treated the teenagers with respect while also always being clearly aware that they were still kids and there were some things that they shouldn't have to deal with, and. I had emotions about that. I was never hugely interested in the fandom version of the guy as a teenager, I never got particularly invested in stories about teenagers because I never felt like one myself, but the adult version? He was the crutch that got me through Being Fifteen.

And now I'm 27 and most of the time I'm Fine but every so often (often in November, but not always) this stuff comes back to bite me and I look at all the characters that I care about the most and they're folks like Obi-Wan or Lupin or Hotch or Ironwood, people who are stuck being Sensible or In Charge or both and sometimes end up cracking under the weight of it all and it's like. Yeah. Yeah, I guess all that did fuck me up. And at least now I'm engaging more with characters who get to be angry about their situations. I'm still really bad about being angry about things, it's an emotion I really struggle to express because I associate it so much with a whole lot of shouting that just makes a mess and takes forever to actually achieve anything. I think I'm angry about a lot of things, but part of me is always like 'yeah, but what's The Point, it's not like getting angry now will change anything that happened'. So I just don't. I stall out before I get anywhere. But the characters that I write, both in fic and my own original stuff, are starting to get to Lose Their Shit. I'm getting a little better at secondhand catharsis. It's a baby step, but it's something.

I don't think I'm going to write any of it because engaging to that degree with HP isn't something I want to do anymore, but I could write so much fanfic where Lupin gets to actually get mad about his situation. Where he gets to shout about all the shit he's been put through, all the friends he's lost and all the prejudice and injustice he's faced and how he's tired of being the calm and sensible one who helps everyone else and never gets any acknowledgement from those people about his own struggles. Some of it would be projecting, some of it would be just having an outside perspective on the story that he's in and the way it treated him and how it was bullshit and how that makes me mad because he Deserved Better. How his story ended up being about his own insecurities and how he should just get over them rather than the colossal injustice he'd faced his entire life and the fact that he shouldn't have to be just resigned to it, he should be allowed to get angry and to try and do something about it.

I don't think I'm going to write it, but thinking about it has helped a bit, even though thinking about Lupin was what landed me in the Brain Weird place in the first place. Sometimes you've just got to get angry on behalf of a fictional character because that way you can sidle up to getting angry on your own behalf. Try it out a bit. I don't know. I don't know if any of this is productive or just an exercise in being maudlin, but I guess I'm having the yearly breakdown about Family Shit a bit early this year and it probably doesn't hurt to dust off an old coping mechanism and see if it helps at all.

And at least this time I've gotten another original fiction idea out of it, so I guess that's something. I'll probably talk about that a bit soon, it's a fun one, and I'm slowly working out how to properly use it to get into the fact that to me werewolves are almost always a metaphor for repressed anger and being scared of the mess that you'll make if you let it out. They're a lot of things to a lot of people, but to me, thanks to Lupin and all the personal shit from my life that he got tangled up in, they're that.

And speaking of dealing with repressed anger, I should probably go and rewatch the scene from the penultimate Ted Lasso episode that absolutely wrecked me, which was the one where Ted finally has a proper go at his mum. Because I felt that one in my bones, although in my case it's my dad that I could do with repeatedly saying 'fuck you' to. Blargh. That was definitely the thing that primed me for the descent into Lupin nonsense, that's for sure. Fiction, man. It'll do things to you.

It's nearly 6 in the morning and I should probably attempt sleep, I guess. Thanks for reading if you got this far, this was just a brain dump because sometimes you just need to Put The Thing In Words, whether it's coherent or not, and throw it out into the void.

#personal stuff

[taegularities]

I’m writing this for Rid 10 minutes after reading CMI 11 omg how dare Rid to play with my feelings like this 😭 I have so many favourite moments in this chapter okay lets go —

1. JK calling her baby constantly “Baby, babe, my baby, angel” yes im so weak for this shit🤯

2. Girlfriend - Boyfriend 🥳🥳🥳 fucking finally!!!

3. So so so proud of my baby oc standing up to her mum!! Bring it on! Though i hope down the story that they’ll reconcile!! Just like what cmi jk said, i think deep down her parents do love her. Its not just enough or maybe shown in different ways. Even parents and children irl have different love languages. But I want this to happen for them. I know they are at peace but having both their families by their side as they go through their relationship will be so reassuring and special ❤️

4. Mama Jeon 🥹 I feel like oc will get the love and comfort she craves from a mother from JK’s mum 😭 i already love her character!! And when Jk called her “Mama” I FREAKIN SWOONED

5. My favourite part of all this madness was the pregnancy scare. JK looking for her all over and his panic state, crying and his line “I’m gonna kill someone if I don’t find her..” oh my heart broke because he just wants to know she’s okay and she’s safe. It is sad truly that his first thought was he fucked up, when he didn’t. If I were JK, I would think its oc who did something wrong but I’m not wired like cmi JK, i have evil thoughts and trust issues 😐🤣

6. When oc said “You’ll leave me, because you’ll be mad.” I just wanna hug her so bad :( the trauma of people leaving and her experience of jk leaving her the first time 😭😭😭 my heart broke for the both of them tbh :((

7. I understand oc’s fear. Things are just looking up in both their careers and they are only starting their relationship. Not saying a baby is unwanted and will jeopardise what they have atm, but the arrival of a little one will surely change some things. BUT I WANT A LITTLE ONE SOON! A mini oc to give jk a heart attack 😌😌

8. The way jk reassured her - how you wrote jk seeing her face and he just rushed to her and hugged her without knowing what the heck was going on. 😢

9. “You’re not gonna leave me, right?” Yes this line again 😭😭

10. Eun as usual, BEST GIRL FRIEND AWARDEE OF THE YEAR 🍾🍾

11. “I love you.” “I love you, angel. Saying this isn’t enough, and I can’t word it anyhow else, but. I love you… I love you, fuck.” ENOUGH SAID. I said enough. 🥹🥹🥹🥹

We finally got the Gf-bf conversation and the I Love You!!! God knows how long I pestered Rid to finally give this to us!! Wohoo wohoo!! Week is complete!! Rid you’re the best ❤️ My favourite chapter yet. No kidding, my heart was beating so fast towards the end! Also the chapter beginning in smut?? Hello!! GIMME!!! 😋🙊

Rid i freaking love you. Mwah 💋

I said what I said, you’re not going anywhere! We’ll keep you here ❤️

the way i'd been looking for this ask bc it wouldn't show up and finally found it in my inbox on mobile 🤣 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR INCREDIBLY KIND WORDS.

now that they're warming up to that relationship (and have finally made the status of it official 🥺), she'll be hearing so many petnames from him!!! the baby and angel ones will always give me heart palpitations, but also munchkin.. </3 and yes!! we are the proudest!! she's inspiring bc she had the courage to do what a lot of people can't. and i want to hug her for standing up for herself and trying to make herself happy. but reconciliation, you say? that'd be wonderful, of course 🥺

EEHEHEHE mama jeon is the sweetest and we will definitely see more of her (and him calling her that 🤭). the ending was my favourite as well! from the moment he started looking for her till the very last sentence.. i cried a lot writing it :') so i'm super happy you enjoyed that bit, too!! oc worrying all the time, i know 😭 she needs the tightest hug!!! but yeah, her worries were why she didn't want to go home, like she was so terrified he might leave or make her leave bc yeah, they're young and as you said... a child would change a lot. but at least now she knows he'll be by her side, no matter what <3

ENOUGH SAID INDEED 🗣️ i know a lot of people were waiting for this and i really hope i put it into words well. it was such an important one. so so thrilled you loved this chapter (and that it's even become your favourite? AHHHH!!), and i appreciate your feedback so much 😭 hope you enjoy the next one just as much. i love you, and.. yes ahhh do keep me here hehe 🥹🤍

#super lovely :'))))) #*cmi spoiler #<- using this till the new ch drop still :) #notes for rid 🌹 #chaotickoalashark #fic: colour me in

[notasapleasure]

Doctors, series 7 episode 134, 'The Two of Us' (2006)

Joplin's second run at neverending BBC daytime soap, Doctors. It was on youtube the whole time! So maybe if I try hard enough I can find his episode in season 4 too, wish me luck...

Gary! I didn't try hard enough to find you before evidently.

Ru ro, hiding wedding ring? Or just finally getting rid of it after splitting from the woman we see next talking about how excited she is to have the baby of the guy she just broke up with...?

Guys this episode is 1. v soapy and 2. v Joplin heavy! Enjoy!

Some flowers arrive for him, aww!

Double aww he's man enough to admit he was nervous about meeting up with his ex, and he's been ticking off the weeks since they split up :')

"So what are we here to discuss...on our wedding anniversary?"

"I'm sorry, it was just a coincidence."

Holy shit lady

"Look Gary, it's just another day!"

"It's gonna take me a while to see it like that."

But he's been seeing 'Pippa' for a month or so, which really flummoxes unnamed pregnant lady,* who spills sparkling water everywhere.

*Claire

Oh my god, the supporting ladies are all dressed as pirates during their downtime. This IS 2006!!

oh dang one of them is Pippa...

lololol "That's what we came here to discuss isn't it? A permanent separation?"

Gary, tormented by ~~memories~~ wishes to sell the old flast and get a divorce. Claire still hasn't broken the baby news to him.

"I've still got some of your CDs back at the flat."

"I'm not missing any."

"Not even your Spice Girls album?"

"I never owned a Spice Girls album."

"You don't remember dancing round the kitchen to Wannabe?"

Babe, are you sure it wasn't your Spice Girls album?

He DID buy it!

Oh no, Pippa found a note on the flowers he accepted delivery for earlier: 'Dear Claire, happy anniversary, love from Gary xx'

And now Gary and Claire turn up joking about CDs!

Claire has to take a work call and Pippa wants to know...

"Has she come for her flowers?"

"Oh."

Babe.

He is a useless wet rag of a man who had a standing order with the florist and forgot to cancel it. And forgot to tell Pippa he was having lunch with his ex. Oopsie oopsie.

Meanwhile, that stress might be getting to pregnant Claire....

Man Pippa is insecure about Gary having lunch with his ex.

But y'know. He's pathetic and gorgeous so she forgives him.

Off she goes, but Claire's called a nurse to their address and Gary notices something's not right.

"Pregnant? How?"

now, sweetheart, has no one explained...?

"No one said it was impossible Gary, just highly unlikely..." (Claire has fibroids)

Ohhhhhhhh she lied and said 12 weeks and not 20!! The look of relief on his face oh no lady this is gonna bite you in the ass we're only 13.55 minutes into a 28 minute episode!

"Talk about me rushing into things... whose is it then?"

Ajsjdjjdjfff watching Claire dig this hole in real time as Gary reminds her that for years she was the one who said she didn't want kids because of her business (standard career woman vs mum conflict 🙄)

But to be fair she's also like 'what was I meant to say to every nosey fucker who asked when we were starting a family?'

Whatever Pippa's work is it seems to involve bitching about Claire with her colleague non-stop. Meanwhile Claire is telling the nurse how Gary *clearly* doesn't want kids. While Gary's making actual heart eyes down the phone to Pippa. And...not helping matters by lying to Pippa about Claire having left 'soon after you'. Are all soap characters compulsive liars??

Naturally Pippa hears voices, he says something unconvincing about the TV and her friend is listening and is gonna feed that suspicion...not least as Claire left him not vice versa.

I feel like Claire is being a real nob about Gary, assuming things about him when she never tried to speak to him about them...

He keeps putting on funny voices though, which is adorable. "She was always career-minded. ~~not the '''m0thERing kINd'''~~" ok babe way to not actually disguise your true feelings. He does admit that they were shit at listening and talking to each other so. Idk. Growth through distance?

Oooh Claire's bleeding and Pippa's at the door coz she left her keys!

Pippa is straight up batshit. Confronts Gary about Claire still being there and when he says she's pregnant and ill Pippa doesn't seem to get why he can't just...throw her out on the streets.

When he goes back up, the nurse leaves them alone and Claire, who's already been opening up about her vulnerabilities, admits to Gary it's his.

Obviously it turns out they both wanted kids hurp durp

And natch Gary *doesn't* want a divorce

And of course Claire is freaked out at the idea of staying together just for the kid because that's what made her parents miserable

But look at the puppy dog eyes

He knows the problem was they stopped talking

Meanwhile Pippa just....hands the keys back and goes

Claire! How can you say no to a man with that many shirt buttons undone?? Professing his love for you??

And now he knows Pippa's left him so he's free to badger Claire into being allowed to come to the hospital.

"I'm coming as a friend."

...as the actress said to the bishop 😏

Omg the original airing was followed later that day by Julian Clary's Who Do You Think You Are? which I must have watched...

---

Rating

Dead? Nope!

Evil? No, not even a bad boyfriend!

Affects the plot? Now, I don't think Doctors operates on the basis of 'plot' so much as...placing one-off characters in situations. He's not the one with most control over the situation, but he does his best to assert himself bless.

Now, if you're into that kind of thing, I imagine he's very gorgeous. I am into the look, but the frank discussions of actually wanting a baby...not so much. Those undone buttons though! The side-lighting on his eyes! 3/5, it's good to be back in the game, Joplin fans <3

#adventures in joplin sibtain's imdb page #joplin sibtain #chook sibtain #bbc doctors #doctors #doctors tv show #doctors tv #doctors soap