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jamilelucato · 8 months

Text

possibility - fred weasley (part 2)

pairing: fred weasley x slytherin!reader

(part 01 here) (more HP fics here!)

summary: being friends with (y/n) has become Fred's biggest challenge.

note: They are in their last year at Hogwarts, so, for purposes, they are 18; besides, the whole canon of the book (it would've been Order of the Phoenix) is mostly nonexistent here.

the reader: can be interpreted as someone with ADHD; she loves literature and she has no friends.

words: 5000+

Enjoy!

Ginny Weasley was a charm, even at the young age of fifteen.

Being her older brothers around, Fred and George tried their best not to ignore her and make her feel welcomed and heard whenever needed. Most of the time, that was an easy task. But, now that she was getting older, it was harder to listen to her complaints.

“She had no right to say that to me!” she whined, angrily snorting. Her red hair moved with her face as she gestured. “She said it in front of Harry, for Godric’s sake!”

George immediately cast a sidelong glance at Fred. It was no secret that Ginny harboured a strong affection for Harry Potter; her infatuation was apparent to anyone with a Weasley surname, and it was common knowledge throughout Gryffindor House. Only Harry himself seemed oblivious to it. However, as Ginny grew older, her feelings seemed to intensify, and Fred frequently tuned her out, lost in his thoughts, while George assumed the role of counsellor. On that particular day, though, it appeared their roles had been reversed.

“Did he hear what she said?” George inquired gently, addressing his younger sister.

“I believe so,” Ginny responded, her voice lowering as she contemplated the encounter.

"Well, how did he react?" Fred leaned closer, although there was a table separating them from Ginny. The dinner table of Gryffindor was crowded with students, so leaning closer was needed for better hearing.

“He didn't,” Ginny replied, her tone a mixture of confusion and uncertainty. “He was with Hermione, and they were engrossed in their conversation. We exchanged glances, that's all.”

“Could it be possible he was simply aware of your presence and not actually listening to your conversation?” Fred suggested, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

Ginny averted her gaze, reluctant to meet her older brother's eyes. “There's a chance,” she admitted, albeit reluctantly.

“So, he didn't really hear it," Fred remarked, leaning back slightly. “Potter’s a man. If he had heard something and something that involved his name, he would’ve reacted.”

George turned his head to face Fred. “All men, you reckon?”

“Absolutely,” Fred confirmed with a carefree shrug.

But George was out for blood.

“Let's say, for argument's sake, that (y/n) mentioned you. Would you turn to look and react?” George asked, instantly capturing Ginny's attention. She was well aware of (y/n), the enigmatic Slytherin who struggled to maintain friendships but seemed to have formed a unique bond with Fred.

“Sure,” Fred replied, not realising the mischief in his twin's eyes. “I mean, it depends on what she'd be saying about me.”

“Does it really matter?” Ginny chimed in.

“It doesn't,” George answered his sister, then returned to Fred. “But how would you respond to her?”

“She's my friend, Georgie,” Fred teased affectionately, using his twin's nickname. “I'd man up and approach her, saying something like ‘hey, what were you saying about me?’ and get it over with.”

“Get what over with?” Ginny prodded, leaning in closer to Fred.

“Probably turning that friendship into a relationship,” George answered instead of Fred. “I mean, if he were to really man up.”

Fred jabbed his twin with playful force, feeling irked by the insinuations.

“What's wrong with (y/n) and I just being friends?” Fred retorted defensively.

“Nothing,” George shrugged nonchalantly. “She's my friend, too,” he pointed out, “but I don’t dream in my sleep with her doing stuff to me in bed.”

This time, Fred slapped his twin's arm more forcefully. “I've never had a dream about her!”

Ginny burst into laughter, feeling fortunate to sit beside her brothers during this comical exchange.

“You've dreamt about (y/n)?” she asked, her eyes gleaming with curiosity. “What was she doing in your dream? Kissing?” Ginny lowered her voice, casting furtive glances around the room before adding, “Or something more?”

Fred tried to brush off Ginny's teasing with a dismissive wave of his hand despite the hints of a crimson blush creeping onto his freckled cheeks. He shook his head and muttered something about dreams and absurd fantasies.

Ginny and George exchanged a knowing look before George leaned closer to his twin. “Fred, I've known you my entire life, and I can read you like an open book,” he began in a hushed tone. “You're smitten with (y/n).”

Despite his attempts to appear composed, Fred couldn't help but squirm in his seat. “That's nonsense, George. She's just a friend, and I don't think of her that way.”

Ginny chimed in with a playful grin. “Oh, come on, Fred. We've all seen the way you look at her. It's like you're under some kind of love spell.”

Fred glanced around the bustling Great Hall, feeling the weight of the conversation. He had a reputation to uphold, which included being a mischievous troublemaker and a skilled prankster. The idea of admitting his feelings for (y/n) went against the grain of his carefree image. Besides whatever those “feelings” were, they were more complicated than he wanted to admit.

Instead of confessing his feelings, Fred squared his shoulders and made a decision.

“(y/n), she’s a tough lass,” he started saying, “I'm not going to pursue her romantically. I don't want to complicate things for her.”

Ginny and George shared another look, this time tinged with surprise. Fred was known for his mischievous tendencies but rarely showed such maturity and thoughtfulness.

“What are you going to do, then?” Ginny asked, intrigued by her older brother's newfound wisdom.

Fred flashed a determined smile. “I want to show her she can have genuine friendships, so that’s what I’ll be for her, no matter what.”

Ginny exchanged a glance with George, both impressed and proud of the transformation they had witnessed in their older brother.

“That’s actually… very nice of you, brother,” Ginny said, choked with herself for ever uttering those words.

“Thank you,” Fred shook his head down.

It was a well-known fact that (y/n) struggled to form connections with her peers. While she often blended into the background amidst bustling classrooms and boisterous mealtimes, those who paid attention could discern that, in the end, (y/n) was very much alone. Fred just hoped she wasn’t lonely, too.

And if she was (and, let’s face it, if he were to bet, that would be his horse), he would be her friendly shoulder. Perhaps with his initiative, she would open up to have other friends. But that would sadly mean he should suppress those dangerous feelings (and dreams) about her. He understood that showing romantic interest might deter her from nurturing other friendships or, worse, create an unhealthy dependency on him.

While many boys at Hogwarts might desire such unwavering devotion, Fred cherished his freedom and wanted the same for (y/n). He believed that, given the chance, she too could revel in the joy of genuine friendships.

She could feel his penetrating gaze like a warm breeze brushing the back of her neck. It was a peculiar sensation. Since she had unofficially accepted the title of “Fred Weasley's friend,” (y/n) had begun experiencing inexplicable emotions regarding him.

Sensing his eyes on her was just one of her peculiar talents. Her personal favourite was her knack for anticipating pranks by the twins; her gaze would instinctively find its way to the impending victim.

Leaving her Slytherin common room, she hadn't expected to encounter Fred. However, when she turned around, hoping to spot him, he was nowhere to be seen.

“Odd,” she thought, clutching her book closer to her chest. It wasn't a hefty tome; it was, in fact, a notebook where she jotted down ideas and penned the initial versions of scenes that might one day become her debut novel.

While the underwater ambience of the Slytherin common room often served as a wellspring of inspiration, that day seemed to be an exception. Hence, (y/n) had decided to grab her notebook and her trusty pen (yes, a pen; she staunchly refused to compose her muggle-inspired stories with a quill and inkwell) and head to the Quidditch pitch in search of inspiration.

During free periods or after classes, Quidditch practices were almost always happening. (y/n) hoped to find an eager and spirited team on the field to keep her writing juices flowing.

She dared to look around again before abandoning the idea that Fred Weasley was following her. So, confirming the absence of red hair, she resumed her pace.

To her relief, the Quidditch pitch was packed with a team of blue shirts. Ravenclaws weren't known for their blood on the field, not as much as Gryffindors or Hufflepuffs, but they would suffice. (y/n) selected a spot in the bleachers, tucked away in a corner high enough to observe everything but hidden from the spotlight. A few people were around, mostly students, but not in uniform, so she couldn't tell if they were opponents watching the Ravenclaws train or just supportive friends.

As she settled in, she opened her notebook, placing it on her lap, ready to transcribe the imaginary world blossoming in her mind. The words flowed effortlessly from her pen, her gaze seldom shifting from the training session. The sounds of players in action served as the ideal backdrop to her writing.

Without her realising it, the scene had shifted from focusing on battle, blows and gushing blood to an intimate moment between nameless protagonists. (y/n) had yet to fully develop their backstory, but they always made their presence known when she ventured into the realm of fairies: a tall, strong lad and a quick-witted young lady.

In the scene she was crafting, they bid each other farewell before venturing into an ongoing battle. Although their words hinted at sadness, they teased one another playfully, creating a certain ambivalence that (y/n) found challenging to convey.

She had just finished writing down the boy's response when a voice behind her remarked, “I'd change that. No battle-hardened lad would utter something so… girlish.”

(y/n) didn't even flinch. She had sensed Fred Weasley's presence earlier, and his sudden appearance was merely confirmation that she wasn't descending into madness or becoming paranoid. She felt a flicker of annoyance at the idea that he had been peeking at her notes, but with no Time-Turner to reverse the situation, she decided to take his opinion on board. Fred's perspective on how a boy would speak could enrich her literary endeavour.

“Hello, Weasley," she greeted him, her eyes on him as he gracefully hopped from the seat behind her to the vacant one beside her.

Fred, however, didn't offer a greeting in return. “Why are you here?” he cut right to the chase.

With a casual shrug, she answered, “Felt uninspired in my common room.” She closed her notebook, a sense of finality in the gesture.

“Of course you did,” he quipped with bitterness. “That place stinks of rich kids and Death Eaters.”

Rolling her eyes, (y/n) couldn't help but feel a tinge of exasperation.

Fred had a peculiar tendency to launch into rants about the Slytherin House, a habit she never entirely understood. She was, without a doubt, a Slytherin through and through. She couldn't imagine belonging to any other house. Ambition coursed through her veins in her academic pursuits and aspirations for a successful writing career. Loyalty to her family was non-negotiable, and luckily for her, her parents weren't affiliated with the Dark Lord, making it easy to stay loyal to them.

In fact, she'd once pointed out to Fred that he'd make a perfect Slytherin himself. His ambitions were evident, especially with the joke shop he and George planned to open. His loyalty to his family, a prominent trait he shared with most Slytherins, was equally unmistakable. His lineage was as pure as anyone's at Hogwarts, if not more so. Her own mother was a half-blood witch. Yet, when she suggested this to him, he'd responded cheeky. “But red is my colour,” he'd declared, putting an end to their discussion.

“Actually,” (y/n) retorted, returning her focus to the ongoing discussion, “Slytherin’s dorms are very inspiring. But not to a battle scene; for that, I needed the smell of sweaty and strategy.”

Fred raised an eyebrow, suggesting that he found her comment rather amusing. “Leave it to the Ravenclaws to provide the strategy, eh?”

Not having an immediate response, (y/n) fell into a contemplative silence. Her eyes remained fixed on the Quidditch field, where the apparent captain of the team was engaging in a heated exchange with one of the beaters.

“So, about your writing,” Fred spoke softly, as if dipping his toes into uncertain waters, “I like it.”

Her gaze snapped to the red-haired boy, curiosity brimming in her eyes. She was always eager to hear both compliments and critiques of her work. To her, praise was uplifting, but constructive criticism was pure gold. She wondered what else he had to say.

“The battle scene sounds absolutely brilliant,” he continued as if reading her unspoken query. “Although I must admit, I missed a few lines; you write too fast, and your cursive is kind of weird.”

(y/n) showed her teeth in embarrassment. She was not used to being complimented about her cursive handwriting, so it wasn’t a surprise that Fred complained about it, but it was still embarrassing to hear about it, especially from a boy with no better penmanship.

“But you had one more complaint,” she reminded him, noticing Fred was silent.

He gulped, swallowing dry and hard.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “The lad there. You don’t know your men.”

“Excuse me?” (y/n) raised her eyebrows, and her voice unintentionally rose in volume.

Fred quickly raised his hands, a peace offering, his intent clearly non-confrontational. (y/n) relaxed a bit, realising she'd somewhat overreacted.

“Did you ever pay attention to how I talk? Or George or Lee?” Fred asked, turning his knees towards hers. Thanks to their sitting position, he towered over her, but less than usual.

Since she'd accepted her friendship with Fred, she'd inevitably become acquainted with the others in his circle, including Lee Jordan.

“Listen,” Fred sighed, “most men aren't as eloquent as your character. They tend to be a bit more straightforward. Your 'lad' speaks in a way that's... well, a bit flowery.”

“He’s, like, from the sixteenth century,” (y/n) pointed out, defending her nameless protagonist.

“Right,” Fred said, tilting his head. “But that doesn’t actually change anything. No men would say,” and at that, he reached for her notebook without asking permission and opened it to the exact page she had been writing on. “No men would say, ‘I shall miss your sunkissed voice if this ends badly’.”

Placing her hands on her hips, (y/n) arched an eyebrow. “So, how would you put it, then?”

Fred pondered the question, trying to envision the moment in (y/n)'s book. He was not a writer and lacked the skills to be an actor, so he had to re-read the scene to know the rightful reply. He looked back down at the page before returning his gaze to her.

“Don't die,” he suggested, playing the character so well, lowering his tone to sound charming and seductive.

Unfortunately, for (y/n), her heart did a somersault in response. The scene Fred had just read involved the characters' parting words, and the simplicity of “Don't die” carried a powerful weight. It conveyed the protagonist's profound desire for his female counterpart to survive, for her loss would leave a void that could never be filled. The moment's essence was encapsulated in those two words, and Fred had delivered them perfectly.

Not that (y/n) had been planning to meet an untimely end anytime soon, but after Fred's persuasive delivery, she found herself inclined to postpone any thoughts of it indefinitely.

Observing that she hadn't averted her gaze from his eyes and noting the rapid rise and fall of her chest, (y/n) decided to seize the book from his hand swiftly.

“That was ridiculous,” she remarked, attempting to dissipate the moment's intensity with humour.

“That's how I would say it,” Fred nonchalantly shrugged, retracting his knees from their near-contact and turning his attention back to the Quidditch field.

“And who told you my protagonist is based on you, Weasley?” she quipped, tilting her head and arching an eyebrow.

Instead of being hurt by her tone of voice — this was the reaction she anticipated and expected and perhaps wanted — Fred smiled teasingly.

"Well, if you create a character described as handsome, muscular, silky-haired, and unmistakably tall, it's quite obvious to any reader that it's me," he retorted playfully.

Her mouth fell open in mock astonishment at his audacity. With an exaggerated flourish, she dropped the book onto her lap.

“And, of course, you're the female protagonist,” he continued, his smirk growing wider. “Hot-headed and cranky, who else could it be?”

(y/n)'s face contorted into a permanent grimace.

“(y/n), are you writing a fanfic about us?” he inquired, leaning closer into her personal space.

That was the final straw. (y/n) propelled herself to her feet, fueled by her irritation and fixed Fred with an accusatory finger.

“Listen here, Fred. The day I write a book about us, you can call me insane.”

Fred chuckled heartily, clearly relishing her reactions. (y/n) couldn't fathom why he found it all so amusing. Her book centred around fairies battling to regain political power; it had nothing to do with their personal lives. Fred was the one acting irrationally, suggesting it was some sort of “fanfic” and daring to entertain the notion that she would include flattering descriptions of him within the story.

If what he suspected were true, that she harboured a crush on him, then he shouldn't have found the idea humorous. Even if it were indeed fiction, he should have been repelled. (y/n) couldn't help but think that he might be secretly pleased with the notion, which irked her further. She didn't have a crush on him!

She turned on her heel with an exasperated huff and stormed away from the bleachers. However, just before she could escape earshot, she heard Fred's voice, laced with a hint of melody.

“Don't dieee!”

She was on the Quidditch pitch stands again. Only this time, there was an actual match on the field, not just a training session.

The Slytherin team zipped through the air on their latest-generation broomsticks, an annual tradition courtesy of Draco Malfoy's father. They faced off against Gryffindor, known for its fiercely competitive players. Whenever the green and red houses clashed, it was always a breathtaking spectacle.

(y/n) was gladly sitting next to Lee Jordan, narrating the game animatedly. Even when the Slytherins executed brilliant plays, his narration remained spirited. He occasionally mumbled comments about some Slytherin players but also praised them when deserved.

Only three days had passed since Fred Weasley had playfully accused her of basing her book's protagonist on him. Since then, they had seen each other and talked, but the book's topic hadn't resurfaced.

“Wow!” Lee's voice broke her concentration. “The Slytherins are really going after our beaters! I mean, sorry, they're going after the Gryffindor beaters!”

Engrossed in the match, (y/n) confirmed Lee's observation. The Slytherin beaters were prioritising targeting the Gryffindor beaters over the usual strategy of interfering with the opposing Seeker. (y/n) knew little about Quidditch's strategy, so she couldn't discern whether this was a wise move by her fellow Slytherins. However, she grew concerned for the Gryffindor beaters, who happened to be Fred and George.

She rose from her seat, her eyes following the twins' every move.

“The crowd is getting worried!” Lee Jordan's voice resonated, and (y/n) turned to face him. He raised his shoulders innocently as if to say he was just calling it as he saw it. Before she could reprimand him, Lee resumed narrating the game. “Oh, no! They're targeting Fred Weasley. Both beaters against one guy; not fair!”

Fred Weasley's name caused (y/n) to search the sky anxiously, her eyes scanning the field for his broom. The atmosphere was tense. She had attended the match in neutral black attire and sat beside Lee, determined not to favour any team. Although she had recently become acquainted with half of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, she couldn't help but feel allegiance to her house. Despite her intentions, the sight of Fred being targeted stirred worry within her. She left Lee's side and hurried down the bleacher stairs, seeking a better vantage point of the unfolding events on the pitch.

“And Fred's been hit! Fred Weasley is hit. Was it fair?” Lee's voice reached her ears as she made her way down. “Oh, I see. Oliver Wood, Gryffindor’s captain, is asking for a break, a time-out. Let’s give them ten minutes to regroup. We'll be back shortly.”

(y/n) turned back against the field and found Lee’s eyes through the crowd. She was grateful for the encouragement he silently offered with a nod. It was the nudge she needed to practically leap down the remainder of the bleacher steps, racing toward the Gryffindor Changing Room.

Luckily for her, the stands were consistently high, so in the actual field, there was nobody. She quickly reached the right spot but hesitated behind the curtain doors, listening intently. Oliver was addressing the team, urging them to regain their focus. Harry only needed to catch the Golden Snitch, and with Oliver as the Keeper, they would fend off the Slytherins from scoring further.

Summoning her courage, (y/n) poked her head through the curtain doors.

“Fred?” she murmured, but her voice carried to all the players.

(y/n) saw Fred, all sweaty, squeezing a water container over his face, drinking only half of it. “(y/n)?” he asked, confused by her presence.

She took the opportunity to step fully into the Changing Room. The other players exchanged knowing glances but remained silent; they understood she wasn't an enemy. (y/n) had interacted with Oliver, Angelina, and, of course, Harry Potter himself. Their glances spoke more of intrigue as if they were silently questioning the stage of her relationship with Fred.

Fred handed his now-empty water bottle to George, who appeared equally puzzled about what to do with it. Fred then retrieved his bat from the floor and approached (y/n), who remained fixed in her spot, somewhat intimidated by her unfamiliar surroundings.

“Are you okay?” she asked, her worry palpable. “Are you hurt?”

Fred kept moving closer. “I'm fine,” he assured her.

She nodded, darting over Fred’s shoulder, peeking at George. “And you, George? Are you alright?”

George nodded affirmatively just as Oliver cleared his throat.

“Well, let's regroup outside,” Oliver instructed the team. With that, the players rose from their seats in a flash.

They left the Changing Room, leaving only Fred behind, and George was the last one to go, for he lingered a bit, moving with deliberate slowness. His eyes remained fixed on Fred and (y/n), and as the others filed out, it became evident that Oliver had called them out to grant the pair some much-needed privacy.

As the room emptied, (y/n) seized the chance to scrutinise Fred's face. The water had washed away the grime, revealing his striking features. He looked almost dishevelled, his heart beating fast, and a rosy hue tinged his cheeks. His damp hair was in complete disarray, the ends defiantly pointing in all directions. He seemed to sense her gaze on his unruly locks and ran a hand through them to tame them, achieving only partial success.

“Are you sure you're okay?” Her voice was soft, carrying genuine concern as she narrowed the gap between them, her fingertips yearning to touch Fred's face. “Lee mentioned you got hit.”

Her gentle touch seemed to kindle a fire within Fred. His face flushed, and he stuttered slightly, turning his head to the right when she reached for him.

“Where did the Bludger hit you?” she inquired, studying his face for any signs of injury. His features appeared unscathed, although his cheeks radiated with warmth.

“It grazed my right ear,” he replied, and she instinctively turned his face further to examine the ear. It was only slightly reddened, no worse than the rest of his face.

“I'm sorry they're targeting you,” she uttered with a slow breath, her concern deepening. Her hands left his face, but Fred turned his chin to face her.

“It's part of the game,” Fred shrugged.

Fred had never seen (y/n) like this before. After weeks of their friendship, this was the first time he had witnessed her express genuine concern.

“I know,” she sighed. “That doesn’t mean it’s fair. Or easy to watch.”

“It’s not a battle,” he noted, gingerly alluding to her book. “No one’s gonna die.”

“But some are going to get hurt,” she stated, her gaze fixed on his ear, her worry etched across her features.

Fred loomed over her, his taller stature requiring her to tilt her head upward to meet his eyes and see his facial expressions. Usually, she appreciated that he was taller, but at that moment, it seemed to create an unwelcome distance.

An unspoken question lingered in (y/n)’s mind: What was she doing there? Why had she hurried to the Changing Room?

“Well,” she cleared her throat, avoiding his gaze, “if you're okay, then I should head back. You know, to watch you win or whatever.”

He smiled at her awkwardness, a not uncommon sight when it came to (y/n). He'd witnessed her awkwardness before, often finding it endearing. She sometimes struggled with conversation, especially with other people, leading to uncertain moments. Fred couldn't help but find those moments rather cute.

“You're not cheering for your own house?” he inquired, the corners of his mouth hinting at an impending smirk.

She pressed the inner corner of her mouth with her teeth, pondering her response. “Not when they're being unfair.”

“Three days ago, I swear you wouldn't have said it's unfair if they were targeting me,” he finally allowed that smirk to surface. It was the second subtle reference to her book, or at least a hint at that day, making (y/n) shy.

“Sometimes I want to hit you, Weasley,” she teased, her tone playful despite her lingering concern.

Fred chuckled, closing the distance between them, if that was even possible.

“Do it,” he taunted, his eyes dancing mischievously.

Her gaze met his, and she couldn't help but wonder if he was genuinely asking for it. She certainly had her reasons to want to hit him. First, for teasing her relentlessly. Second, for insisting on being her friend. Third, for involving her with all of his other friends. And now, that — whatever that was. She was eager to touch him, just not to do it in the form of a slap.

Something else fluttered in her stomach, and she hated it, and she hated Fred for it.

“Come on, (y/n),” he teased again, his smirk widening.

Her frustration reached its peak. How dare he jest with her after all the concern she had shown? She had never rushed to find someone before and loathed how unappreciative he seemed.

Without thinking, (y/n) closed the distance between them. Not with a slap, as Fred had half-expected, but with a kiss. It was so swift that Fred barely registered it until he felt her cool lips against his warm ones. A sigh escaped her as she realised he wasn't pushing her away.

And how could he? Fred had yearned for this moment for so long, through countless sleepless nights, because sleep meant dreams, and every dream was about her. Whether he imagined (y/n) seeking help with a prank and then kissing him, or (y/n) struggling with grades and asking for comfort through a kiss, or even the most sensual dreams where she broke into his Gryffindor dorm room wearing nothing but her panties.

Whatever had prompted (y/n) to kiss him, Fred was beyond caring. He hoped she wouldn't stop. He abandoned his mantra of ignoring his romantic feelings for her, forgetting they were meant to be just friends.

Fred kissed her passionately, willingly, leaving his bat forgotten on the floor as he held her close. His hands found her waist, lifting her slightly, bringing her nearer as he devoured her lips.

For (y/n), it felt like paradise. She'd never been kissed before, though she had read about it. Still, she'd assumed a kiss was just lips meeting, nothing more. She hadn't expected her first kiss to be like a scene from a romance novel, but it was. She experienced everything the heroines in her favourite books described: a warmth that started low in her belly and surged upward, a desire to merge completely with Fred. She clutched his red hair as if her life depended on it as if she depended on him.

“Fred! Come on!” a voice from outside yelled so loudly that it snapped both of them back to reality.

Fred was in the middle of a Quidditch match, but somehow, he had just kissed (y/n).

Slowly, he released her, and she stared back at him, her face flushed a deep shade of red, much like his hair. Her hand reached for her own lips as if trying to comprehend that what had just happened was real. She had been kissed. By Fred Weasley.

“We have just a minute, Fred!” the voice shouted again, and this time, (y/n) realised it was Oliver Wood, their captain, yelling.

“I think you have to go,” she said, her voice slightly shaky.

Fred nodded, placing his hands on his hips.

“Like now, Freddie,” she added, and her raised eyebrows conveyed the situation's urgency.

He burst back to reality, hastily retrieving his bat from the floor. Rushing toward the curtained exit, he glanced back at her.

Did he really kiss his best friend when he swore he wouldn’t?

They shared a glance. He would have to be content with that one kiss, for he could never pursue anything more if he wanted (y/n) to maintain her friendships because she was now finally opening up for that possibility.

“Don't die,” she murmured, her tone serious, but a laugh escaped her as she made the witty remark.

Finally, he left the Changing Room. For if he stayed any longer, he feared he would have to kiss her laughter away from her lips.

#fred weasley #harry potter #george weasley #fred and george #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley fanfic #fred weasley x slytherin reader #fred weasley x you #fred weasley x reader

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raccoonsrummagerostrum · 11 months

Note

Okay hear me out

Yautja with an s/o who has adhd

Yautja Vs ADHD

Yautja x GN! ADHD! Reader

Word count: 838

Warnings: Fuff, depictions of ADHD, depictions of social rejection

Summary: Your lover thinks you are strange for your species, but loves you regardless.

A/N: OMG! I have ADHD too! Why did I not think of this!?

When your lover started dating you they had a lot of biases about ooman that they had to unlearn. They had been taught that oomans were fragile yet intelligent creatures, they knew that oomans were primitive but creative, and that they were highly social and very dangerous in groups. But after spending time with you a lot of their preconceived notions were challenged.

You were not fragile. You would regularly trip, fall, and bump into just about everything. Your lover was very concerned about this at first, but whenever it happened you would just walk it off like it was nothing. You would even laugh about it. Much to their unending confusion. Occasionally they would find cuts, scrapes, and bruises in random places on your body and ask how that happened. All you could do was shrug.

Your lover had hunted oomans before, so they knew just how intelligent they could be. So when you repeatedly forgot important items, or tasks they began to question if you were just one of the less intelligent ones. Every species has them. But as time went on and they grew to understand you more, they came to know that you were not stupid, you just struggled with some things. You seemed to have a brilliant mind for problem solving, even exceeding other examples of your species. Not to mention how long you could go on talking about your favorite topics. They adore the way you lit up as you talked. They do still often need to remind you about items and tasks, but they understand that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Every day they understand yours more and more.

Your lover did tend to look down on ooman technology. To you, your phone was the most advanced device in the universe. It helps you keep track of important things, such as events and chores, and it can access the sum of all ooman knowledge in just seconds. But to your lover it was nothing more than a light up brick. But they did admire the creativity with which you used your primitive tools. Such as throwing on some music and suddenly being able to conjure the ability to do the dishes. You also used your creativity in other fascinating ways. Any and all artistic pursuits are revered by your lover. Art is not common in yautja culture, the art they do have though is highly symbolic and ceremonial. They love listening to you talk about the choices you made while making any given piece and find the concept of art for art's sake fascinating .

One of the things that confused your lover the most was how you socialized. You seemed to really struggle talking to other oomans. You would start with your usual high energy, but the other ooman would quickly show their disinterest, causing you to get very discouraged and end the conversation very quickly. You also had a tendency to do, what you called, ‘overshare’. Your lover treasured any time when you would tell them everything on a given topic, whether that was how your day was or about the documentary you had just watched. The ooman on the receiving end of the oversharing however, would usually make their ‘discomfort’ known. Your lover would quickly get angry at whoever was icing you out, because they knew that you were just sociable and wanted to talk. Sometimes though you would avoid talking to people all together for all the above reasons. But in other, seemingly similar interactions, you could easily talk to another person like they were already your best friend. For some reason they would match your energy perfectly and the two of you would create a tight bond, only to go your separate ways and never talk again.

There was one simple explanation for all of this that your lover was completely unaware of. Unaware of, until one day. The two of you were having dinner and having a conversation when they said something that caught you a little bit off guard.

“You are a strange example of your species.”

“What do you mean by that?” You asked.

“Well…” They thought for a moment, choosing their next words carefully. “You are constantly getting injured, but somehow end up fine. You are fiercely intelligent, but still manage to forget small things. You are incredibly creative, and industrious, but struggle with interpersonal communication, until you do not? It is just… you act strange for a ooman.” You blinked a few times, trying to figure out if you should be offended or not. Then you laughed.

“Have I not told you I have ADHD?”

“What?”

“ADHD, it stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, although it's really more of an attention regulation disorder rather than a deficit. Basically it affects how my brain works and, yeah it affects everything you mentioned.”

“So you are not a normal ooman!”

“No,” you giggled again.

“That is all right though,” they said before you could continue. “I like the way you are, strange ooman.”

#fanfic #yautja #writing #x reader #gn!reader #predator alien #yautja x human #yautja x reader #fluff #comfort #adhd struggles #adhd #adhd reader #request

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 3 months

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I haven't seen it yet but full hc for the m6 with an MC on the ADHD spectrum

The Arcana HCs: M6 with an MC who has ADHD

~ @themushroomgoesyeet hope you like these! I'm writing half from personal experience, half from what I've read and heard. Please let me know if there's anything that need correcting! ~

Julian

ADHD is a less familiar subject for him, if only because his areas of specialty so far have been contagious diseases and battle wounds

He's also not really one to judge you for difficulty keeping a sleep schedule, self-medicating with caffeine, or spending days on end obsessively learning everything you can about a specific subject

What's abundantly clear to him, though, is that you do not deserve to live with the guilt that comes from your own brain hijacking every commitment and interest that it doesn't prioritize

He knows what it's like to feel guilty for something that wasn't your fault, and he doesn't like seeing you live with it

The way he sees it, he's even more to blame for his shortcomings than you are, because you're actively working against your own brain and he's just ... sad (you'll have to tell him that this is not true)

This is going to become one of those shared challenges you tackle together as a couple

He'll write down all the bad effects of too much caffeine to motivate him to reduce your combined intake

You remind him to go to bed with you at a decent hour and call it "poetry time" instead of "bedtime" to trick both of your brains into not thinking of it as the end of the day

Asra

They love you. They love you so much. They never, ever want to get in the way of your preferences and vision

He enables you maaaybe a little more than he should

Staying up late is a great idea! Spending the entire day on your current fixation with no break to go outside or talk to people? Hey, don't let them ruin your fun ~

Thankfully, he cares about you far too much to leave you to engage in anything genuinely self destructive

Once the amount of caffeine you've consumed goes from "inadvisable" to "concerning," once your sleep schedule goes from "not ideal" to "dysfunctional", they'll step in in the gentlest way

Another cup of coffee? Let him get you some soothing tea. Another all-nighter? Snuggle him first, let him help you meditate a bit and see if you don't get drowsy

Nobody can combat executive dysfunction like this magician

All it takes is them feeling the slowly building dread through your bond, and they're lovingly poofing you off of the couch/floor/counter and into a very ticklish hug

His lifestyle is heavily ADHD coded as it is. He remains completely unfazed by the roller coaster that your brain can be

Nadia

To her, you are the best possible version of her opposite

She has a hard time changing between trains of thought. You reboot yours every time you walk through a door!

She sometimes forgets to slow down and appreciate the small things in favor of the bigger picture. You, on the other hand, are constantly pausing to notice them

And don't get her started on how much she admires your capacity to learn so much specialized knowledge in such a short period of time. It's truly astonishing and she adores it

However, she can tell that leaving it unchecked and untreated will make it difficult for you to function in the Palace's normal setup, much less follow regular routines

Quick to find a specialist in your condition and set up a few sessions with them, coming up with ways to work with your diagnoses and exploring medication options that you like

Insanely good at helping you keep your mind on track and regulate your attention and focus levels, even when it means pulling you away from a task that's about to eat up half your day

Likes to idly study the chaotic way you manage your personal spaces and try to figure out what the method to the madness is

Muriel

What, you think he's not used to living with a chaotic being that'll start three projects in a row before randomly walking out and not reappearing for several hours? Please.

Truthfully, there are some small things that annoy him. He likes predictability, and your base state of functioning is taking the next random tangent. That's not easy to not worry about

However, he knows that living with him takes plenty of patience as well. As long as you two can be patient with each other's quirks, and respectful when you lovingly intervene, that's what matters

He still loves hearing you ramble

He likes watching your eyes light up, listening to the excited lilt of your voice as you infodump all the new specialized knowledge you've gobbled up

That aside, he does love learning. Each of your new fixations is a new field of education for him by proxy

He's also someone who thrives on habit and routine and isn't afraid to put his foot down when your wellbeing is involved

He will scoop you up in his arms and lovingly carry you to bed when the bags under your eyes get too prominent and you start to nod off mid-sentence

Portia

Portia looks at you like you hung the moon. Portia thinks that every magical thing you do is mind-blowingly amazing. Portia assumes that all of your little quirks and non-habits are just you being you

Hey, if finding one specific food and eating it and only it for days on end is something you want to do, cool! Maybe it's secretly satisfying some magician's craving!

You're going to think about one thing and one thing only and learn everything there is to know about that thing? That's some badass scholarly behavior right there.

Well - except for the part where you forget something exists as soon as it's not in your hand anymore, or where time really does seem like a social construct, or where you somehow get physically and mentally stuck in one spot without being able to move

That looks ... miserable

Nobody can manage chaos like she can. She'll help you snap out of it, she'll remind you to eat and sleep and take your meds, she'll regularly ask when last you went outside or took a bath

And when you mess up - when you miss an event, or fall behind schedule, or leave things to pile up until they're too much - she'll be right next to you with an encouraging smile and plenty of grace

Lucio

This works either really well or really poorly, depending on the day, how he's doing, how you're doing, what you're both supposed to be doing, what the weather's like ...

It's unpredictable, but that's the fun of it!

Much of the time, your strong points support each other. There are few feelings Lucio hates more than boredom, but with a brain like yours around, there's always something new to try or think about

Few things cause the kind of bone-deep discouragement and guilt that constantly missing things does, but nobody values the importance of trying again like he does

On the other hand, sometimes you accidentally enable each other

Lucio's still learning the self-regulation involved with choosing to do something unpleasant and important over doing something enjoyable and completely useless

And if your brain decides that said pleasant thing is the only thing it's going to function for, well, not getting sidetracked is almost impossible. Good luck to you both

Thankfully, you both have a lifestyle that allows for unusual schedules and working styles. As long as you have each other to keep trying growing, you'll never get stuck for long

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #the arcana game #asra the arcana #julian the arcana #nadia the arcana #muriel the arcana #portia the arcana #lucio the arcana #asra alnazar #julian devorak #nadia satrinava #muriel of the kokhuri #portia devorak #lucio morgasson

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mrghostrat · 4 months

Text

i was hoping to stream this afternoon but i woke with my shoulders hurting so bad that i have absolutely zero capacity for anything. to the point where i experienced my first autistic rumbles in the supermarket 🥸 but i have adhd meds now so maybe we can try tomorrow.

zita's suspected i'm on the spectrum for a little while now, but i've always been on the fence about it. there's a lot i don't relate to. but most of that is bc i have so much learned behaviour, and i mask really well. when i try to break down how i think for autism diagnostic quizzes, my gut reactions DO fit the bill, but they are so so so buried under 30 years of life experience that feels like it comes naturally.

but i am an introvert. an extreme introvert. even while living alone with my best friend, who i get on perfectly with and feel zero need to mask around, i still need to excuse myself and be left alone in my room from 10pm at LEAST.

so i only really unmask when i'm dead alone. even though i dont feel like i'm putting up any kind of front around of zita, i still do, automatically. the only time i see myself completely bare is when i'm alone and it's silent and there is absolutely nothing challenging my comfort.

sooooo hoooooo boy waking up in pain, with zero capacity to even finish a thought, still empty of ADHD medication because of the fuckin manufacturing shortage (thankfully today's trip into town was to finally pick some up! but that wasn't until noon), i got to see a side of myself i don't know if i've ever actually seen before? maybe as a kid but i can't remember specifically that far back?

i've been short tempered and overwhelmed and exposed to sensory nightmares whilst home alone before, but it's usually so quick bc i'm at HOME and i can adjust the situation and i never think much of it. i felt like a bluescreen at that supermarket today, popping in for less than 10 things across 3 aisles.

it was so busy. there were so many people. i felt dread just to walk through it, so aware of my own body and the space i had to inhabit. but par for the course so far. what was less par for the course was having to stop and look at my list every 3 steps, unable to put together a course of action in my head: chicken is on the far left, so we grab that first and get broccoli on our way to the soup aisle. but the broccoli is right there. do i grab that first, go get the chicken, but then double back from where i just came? i might get myself some bananas too, how do i fit that into my path—

i had to keep stopping and looking at my list because every item i thought of made me forget the previous one i just looked at. eventually got fed up with myself and went to the closest thing and started there, regardless of whether i'd have to double back or not. that's what trips me when i take these quizzes n shit. i can get over the hump and do the task in the end, so that must mean i'm totally allistic! no autism here.

i remember thinking "jesus christ this is bad" when i was on my way to get zita's soup (if you've read this far, thank you and kisses to you, pls send some loving vibes to zita by reading her fic i just reblogged, bc she's got a cold and is miserable today) so i was kinda aware i was having a bad sensory day. as expected: there were a lot of people there, and i was in pain. but i just short circuited looking at soup. zita gave me the brand name and soup type of 3 cans she wanted. and i went to the aisle i've been to a thousand times, found the brand, and just stared. it was all stew. all chunky brothy things with bits in. not a single creamy soup in sight, so, the soup must be somewhere else.

i came to that conclusion immediately but i couldn't. process it? or like, what to do with that information. the soup is somewhere else. OR IS IT? keep looking at this shelf to make sure, your eyes are tired, you might've missed it. there's like 20 different cans of campbells here, just keep reading them left to right until soup appears. still no soup? read them again, you might've missed it. maybe campbell's is out of soup? read every other brand here until you Don't see soup, then you can walk away and try somewhere else. but if you don't see any soup, read it again because you might've missed it.

thankfully it took all of 30 fuckin seconds for a store employee who was shelving next to me to see my glazed fuckin stare and ask if i needed a hand with anything. and i stammered through some "haha my silly eyes today!! haha thanks! sorry, thank you!" as she happily pointed like 3 metres down the aisle for me, while my internal monologue immediately raged like "wtf why would they put the soup that far away but also barely far away at all, what's the point, bad design 😡"

got soup. check list: packet of gravy. zita told me the gravy was in the same section as the soup. it was not. i walked up and down that aisle five times and there was no gravy. i just. i had completely forgotten how to problem solve. it was the strangest, most frustrating experience. like i was looking at an empty word document in my brain, with a little flashing cursor and everything, so i knew it hadn't frozen over. it was just empty.

i even had the thought "just walk up and down the aisles until you find gravy; you have to do this all the time" and even had ideas of which aisles to start with. but my brain said no. we're not going to walk around aimlessly, even if we have a neat little structure and path to follow. we were told (by myself, too) this would be a quick in out trip, pluck the known items off the shelf and beeline straight for the checkout. so meandering down aisles was for some reason non negotiable. i wasn't in a rush. i had nothing to do today. i barely even felt a rush to get out of there, as busy as it was. it just wasn't an option.

so rather than start solving that problem i just jumped to the next thing on the list. strepsils. text to ask what kind she wants, have a whine about my broken brain, ask if she knows where the gravy is. remember when i pass the hair brushes that i broke my hairbrush this morning and need a new one!! oh and i've been wanting new hairclips too. look at me picking a new hairbrush and poking through the hairclips for one that i know will feel comfortable against my scalp, i'm not autistic because i can change my plans and make decisions on the fly.

oops didn't mean for this post to be an entire play by play of my thoughts through this extremely bland grocery shop. i cannot believe how long i stood there choosing soup. the line at the self checkout was so long and i felt the dread kick up again. barely/silently whispered "oh god" to myself when i realised the line, but repeated it about 20 times to feel the tap of my tongue against the roof of my mouth before i realised i was doing it. stop that, don't mutter to yourself. but i'm standing still in a line and there's nothing left to (ineffectually) problem solve, so the second i stop i notice a weird little slice in the plastic around the trolley handle that i can't stop flicking my thumbnail against.

OK. we need to stim. heard, chef. just click your piercing ffs. your mouth might look weird when you do it but at least everyone can see you're just clicking your teeth against your piercing, rather than talking to yourself or damaging public property.

something made a noise, can't even remember if it was a child or a trolley or what, some loud sharp single high pitched screech a few metres away, and i jolted so hard i thought i felt like i was going to throw up. finally think, fucking hell i'm autistic today. my back hurts. which is making my head hurt. i want to go home and take my vyvanse.

#ghost scribbles #autism #extremely long unimportant recount of my day #but it was quite cathartic to write #feeling very vulnerable and tired now ufgh

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spiderliliez · 1 year

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MORFYDD CLARK and ADHD

The GIFs above are excerpts from Morfydd’s five different interviews during the promotion of “Saint Maud” while still filming “The Rings of Power” where she briefly talks about, and inadvertently exhibits her ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) traits. The first one shows of her being surprised by her alarm, and explains she keeps it on snooze so she doesn’t forget her tasks. Some would think this is just normal, that we all really need to have reminders anyway. But when you have ADHD, your alarms will be your lifesaver, and it can be quite extreme as your attention easily wanders off and you have almost no control of it, because you simply completely forget what you’re supposed to do. 😖

In the second interview, the keyword is “Procrastination” and she mentions how procrastination doesn’t make her feel guilty. Constant procrastination is very common amongst people with ADHD. It’s just always there. Yes, we all procrastinate, but people with ADHD does it more extreme than others. There are those who would feel endless guilt when they dither and temporize what needs to be done, and after all that, they still couldn’t keep themselves from procrastinating anyway. It becomes this vicious cycle, that adds on to one’s depression because of feeling incompetent. I’m just glad she’s allowed herself to indulge in what she wants to do and not feel criminal about it. 🙃 In the third one, she talks about her struggle with reading and being unable to keep at it for a certain duration. This is very common with ADHD as your ability to focus shifts so quickly, especially if you happen to be reading something you realized you’re not that interested in. However as she mentioned, she was able to read through the entire script (for “Saint Maud”) in one go, of which shows how much she loved the story. In some of her interviews, she speaks of how audiobooks have been very helpful to her. People with ADHD can also have “Dyslexia” (just like Morfydd). It’s more common than not, and that makes reading and writing even more challenging.

In her fourth and fifth interview, she talks about how her brain reacts while she was in school. It’s quite clear, listening and reading her interviews, that she has the combination of both the “Hyperactive-Impulsive and Inattentive Type”. As you know, there are three types (Hyperactive-Impulsive, Inattentive, and having both). Being in class, with so much stimuli, with her brain firing different thoughts and ideas almost all at once, as Morfydd exclaimed, “So exciting!”, while the teacher talks about a subject that she probably doesn’t find interesting, plus that insatiable need to get on her feet to be where she wants to be, or do what she wants to do. And all of that... you can imagine, it just becomes quite taxing for an excited ADHD brain. 🧠 I get that, really. The most common type of ADHD in girls is the “Inattentive Type” (formerly just called “ADD” aka Attention Deficit Disorder), which is easily overlooked. I was only diagnosed with it as an adult, which makes it sad as I’ve always been so cruel to myself before, not knowing what was wrong with me, and admitted to myself that I was just simply “lacking” or worst, feeling “dumb”. It’s a terrible (false) acceptance for a kid, and I carried that thought until adulthood. Morfydd got her diagnosis when she was seven. She was probably quite a handful! 😅 Parents and teachers can easily spot the “Hyperactive” kids because, well, they are literally hyperactive and uncontrollably rambunctious. Because of that, they can get their diagnosis earlier in life and get the help they require in their formative years. I was not like that. I was quiet, and timid. I was even called the “most behaved in class”. I didn’t cause any trouble in school. However, my concentration level is next to zero at worst times. I might be sitting quietly, but my mind is just all over the place. I’ve learned earlier in life on how to pretend I’m okay and find ways to cope.

🗨️ MORFYDD SAID: I knew I was different from age seven when I started having medication for it. I understood that something was different but I didn’t understand what it was. I’d go and get my tablet in the staff room at lunchtime and there was a boy a few years above me who had an illness that required lots of medication, but I didn’t know this at the time. I remember seeing him get lots of tablets, cause that’s what he needed, and being like “Wow. He must be really naughty because I am quite naughty and I get one tablet.” I think quite early on, you label yourself as naughty and bad. (via ContentMode)

My ADHD caused me to have insomnia as early as age eight or nine. My brain just never stops wandering, even when I am physically tired. When I do things, I finish my tasks a lot longer than most people, be it at school, at home, or at work. This is not something I’ve talked about before, because I feel as an adult, in the usual corporate profession, I feel I’d be marginalized for it. It’s not really something I want my colleagues, and my boss to know. What’s more, for ADHD people, other learning disabilities are quite common. In school I enjoyed writing essays and stories, however, I suffered from mild “Dyslexia” and when I started second grade I started to have terrible “Dyscalculia” that I still have to this day.

🗨️ MORFYDD SAID: My dyslexia means I can’t read for long periods or the letters start moving around on the page, giving me headaches, so I have to prep more than others in shorter bursts — and when I’m home I’ve got these orange tinted glasses that I have to wear. (via WalesOnline)

My dyslexia has progressively gotten better as I have gotten older, and I even joined spelling bees in school. But the amount of hard work I did for that was just a lot. When I joined my local school paper, I decided it’s better I just focus on “editorial cartooning” instead of writing features and news because I have trouble submitting my articles on time. My dyscalculia until now is the same. I took up “Bachelor of Computer Science”, and you could call it a miracle, but I did manage to graduate. During exams, I always leave the room last, as I have to recheck my answers again and again before I submit them. Same with writing emails at work. And when I have to read a book, I oftentimes find myself stuck on one page over and over again. I’d be reading the same lines, but my mind just flies off, so I have to either stop, or restart reading until I could concentrate. The distraction can be caused by my own thoughts, or because I’m distracted by my surroundings. It’s really hard to focus, and I think Morfydd is amazing for being able to remember her lines especially when she’s doing onstage plays.

🗨️ MORFYDD SAID: I feel that acting really suits me because sometimes I struggle with a whole day rehearsal in a play, but film is very short moments of intense concentration. Then you can snap out of it. Also, the stakes are high. If I was going to have to do something boring like writing an essay, I can only do it under huge amounts of pressure and adrenaline. Being on set you have short bursts with pressure and it’s fun. In terms of learning lines, I will just wander around my flat or town saying them. There is no structure. I struggle when there is a structure enforced on me, that I can’t do. Within film, I am allowed to be fluid and structured within this world. I thought about that a lot with Maud. Because I thought, “Would I have been bullied a lot if I had been in an office, because I would just be annoying? Would I be fired a lot for being late?” (via ContentMode)

The good thing about ADHD, is you have this superpower to “Hyperfocus”. This is when you would zone in on a task, happens when you have so much interest in a certain activity. Just like what Morfydd said, when she read “Saint Maud” for the first time, that she was able to finish it in one go. In that state, nothing can distract you, and I mean nothing! I would often forget the time, or my surroundings when I hyperfocus. I don’t even notice people when they call me. I’m sure it’s the same for Morfydd when it comes to acting. 😎

If you have ADHD, and you aim to meet expectations (such as graduating from school or university, being in a relationship, running a business, or keeping your job), your brain really needs to work extra hard to compensate for your lack of focus and distractibility. In short an ADHD brain tends to be a lot more fatigued, and stressed than others. It can get easier by taking your prescribed medication for ADHD, managing your time, and not forgetting to setup your reminders. Finding ways to cope with the help of recent studies are quite helpful. Support from your friends and family is very important, too!

🗨️ MORFYDD SAID: People with ADHD find it really hard to put effort into things that they don’t find interesting. So, it’s about finding the thing that your child or person with ADHD is passionate about and finding a way to make that part of your world.” (via ContentMode) It’s weird to have a diagnosis from seven. It makes you feel different or other, which feeds a fascination with brains and why people are the way they are. I’m kind to myself about stuff I find difficult, because I understand why. (via NZHerald)

There are many people, especially girls and women who struggle with this neurodevelopmental disorder and not know they actually have it. So, I do have a lot of love, respect and appreciation for Miv, especially that she talks about this publicly, and reminding others that, ‘it’s okay’. With that, I have been reminded to be kinder to myself. I was never okay with having ADHD, but when people like her talk about it, I feel not so alone anymore. 🥀

youtube

Thanks to: ContentMode, NZHerald, The Observer, The Upcoming, BFI, Harper's Bazaar UK, Carl Marsh, BAFTA Guru, WalesOnline, ADDITUDE

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donniesexceptionalmind · 6 months

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HI! HAVE ART!

I have no idea how accurate the outfit is (and I suck major ASS at drawing hats) but I tried and I hope u enjoy :333 (I also made the lil clip thing for the cape the logo thing (???) yall have bc its cool >:D) (AND ALSO PLS PLS PLS TAKE THIS AN EXCUSE TO RANT ABOUT EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION OR SMTH BC I HEARD U HAPPEN TO RANT A LOT ABOUT AUTISM AND I AM V INTERESTED IN THAT STUFF!!!)

Me when J saw the art:

I actually infodumped about executive dysfunction before!

But I will share some additional information about it because you drew this amazing piece of art & I am very joyous. ✨️

Here is my personal experience:

Executive dysfunction can be really challenging & for me, it is a huge part of all the things that make autism a disability.

The everyday experience as an autistic person is already loaded with stress, anxiety & discomfort - and on top of that we are getting blessed with not being able to do things even though we need to. There is a barrier in our brain that says "No" & you can't do anything about it. You are perhaps paralyzed, doomscrolling social media or just staring at the wall for hours.

The outside perspective of this is always "You are lazy, you are not trying hard enough, just do it", but it is not as easy as that. If it were that easy, we wouldn't be struggling. Because, you know, we DO KNOW we need to get these things done & sometimes we WANT TO get them done!

In short, executive functioning skills are cognitive skills that help us to regulate & control our thoughts & actions. Planning your actions is actually a higher executive functioning skill just like problem-solving.

Struggling with executive functioning can look like:

Not being able to begin a task that involves multiple steps, e.g., cooking a meal - it's just too much to process, too much to do!

Hyperfocus: getting too absorbed in a task so you forget everything around you, including bodily signals like hunger, thirst, tiredness (although hyperfocus can also be a blessing to get things done and/or experience a large amount of joy, especially when it comes to our special interests)

Struggling to reply to messages in time (e.g. my inability to answer inbox messages even though I genuinely want to)

Struggling with decision making, e.g, which task do I do first, what should I wear? Even crucial things like 'Should I get up?'

What helps me:

ROUTINES. Honestly. As an autistic person I have a lot of terrible days, but there are also days that are not too bad. And the perfectionist that I am, on days that are not too bad I try to do as much as possible- which can lead to having a terrible day straight after. BUT I have established a very well basic system of routines & tasks that IF I stick to them, I will be fine (mostly). (If I were sticking to it. It's a struggle. AHEM.)

And it is OKAY to have rituals & routines.

We seek to replicate success when we experience it because it makes us feel safe, grounded & happy!

And also bring order to the chaos that is the world around us - it is REALLY upsetting to live here, isn't it?

For Leon it's incredibly hard to establish routine because of his ADHD & this is a whole new topic to cover.

And yes, it is fairly common that people of all neurotypes have routines.

The difference though:

My day will get significantly worse if I can't do what I have planned or if I miss a segment of an established ritual.

For example, if I can't have my lunch in the time frame I always have it, it will cause physical & mental pain - sometimes to the point of a meltdown if things add up.

As I mentioned before I am sometimes NOT coherent with sticking to these routines & that is because of internal ableism & my own ignorance.

I struggle to accept that I have a disability & that I am not functioning like neurotypicals. Their standard shall be mine, but I can't live up to that standard. This is a problem I still have to overcome.

I sometimes expect too much of myself & burn myself out, blame myself for not achieving goals etcetera. This is not healthy.

There should be a base level of respect for an autistic person's need for routine & compassion when it does get ripped to shreds.

The world is unpredictable. Unexpected changes will happen if we want it or not.

I hope I was able to provide additional input! /g

#IT LOOKS AMAZING #ME AS VAATI #donnie speaks #donnies exceptional mind #turtle net #the legend of zelda #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #executive dysfunction #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt donatello #autism awareness #autism spectrum disorder #donatello infodumps #autism #autistic thoughts

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afniel · 5 months

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Ten years after the end of the Maverick War, X—unarmed, unarmored, disabled, and retired from the Maverick Hunters—takes on a missing person case in what used to be downtown Abel City, until it was destroyed and walled off from the rest of the world. It should have been a simple enough task, but nothing has ever been simple for X. He soon finds himself drawn into a conflict between two groups of Mavericks living in the Abel City quarantine zone, making friends he desperately needs but isn't so sure he wants, pretending to be a version of himself he doesn't hate, and confronting the fact that he has spent so long sacrificing all of himself for a world that gives him nothing in return that he doesn't even know who he is anymore or what he wants out of life. A nap, mostly, but that missing human isn't going to find himself.

I did it. \o/

3½ months, 164,906 words, approximately a bajillion hours of lost sleep, and quite a lot of ADHD medication taken as directed. Entirely finished and posted so you don't have to wait around for updates. I'm proud of me. I think it's a pretty alright story, hopefully.

It actually doesn't require a ton of series knowledge to read and I tried to write it such that most of what you do need you can infer readily enough, so if you don't really even go here, meh! It might still be at least a little entertaining.

I feel like my summary was actually really good, so I'll just steal some of my tags for the rest:

X is old as balls and disabled as hell

found family but it's a bunch of Mavericks?

Don't Worry About It

based on a dream at least originally

X is basically the world's most burnt-out gifted kid ever

everyone repeatedly fails the Stop Picking Grandpa Up 2211 Challenge and X is so over it

the world needs more disabled characters who stay disabled so I made some

also contains a metric ton of aroace relationships

SO many original reploid characters. too many. put some of those back.

contains an absolutely excessive amount of worldbuilding

because Capcom couldn't be bothered and I have to do everything around here myself

featuring reploids as a metaphor for minorities and outcasts

and going Maverick as a rational reaction to an irrational world

no gods no masters no alphas no betas no editors we die like Mavericks

isn't X tired of being nice? doesn't he just want to go ape shitt?

Gods tho I was so nervous actually hitting post on this. I will love you forever and ever and ever amen if you assuage my nerves and leave kudos or comments or even just hits. 🙏 I am super not used to anybody reading my writing and usually in the past it's been a guarantee that I can't continue doing it so I'm really stepping out of my comfy zone here.

#READ MY STORY BOY.#mega man x #mmx #rockman x #mega man #megaman x #rockman #writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #I am going to make you feel things about funny little robot guys or I am going to die trying!!

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zzzzzestforlife · 3 months

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Thank u so much for your answer 💗 i am also in my early twenties (21) so this is gives me some motivation that i can have my shit together too 🤡 I have ADHD and it’s either I am very productive or absolutely not a functional human 😩 I especially have a hard time with my sleep schedule I could manage it last semester and set up a routine but this semester I have insomnia and my energy levels are so low 😭 do you have some apps to help u manage your goals? Or you write on paper? I want to set a system but I’m not sure how to !

Also what is your MBTI?

hello again, i'm glad i could help a bit! ☺️ although i've never been diagnosed, i relate so much to your situation, love. hope these help you! and now i'm also curious about your MBTI if you want to share 👀

apps i use 📱

YouTube — ok, not your standard productivity app, but hear me out: it's incredibly motivating when i can watch my favorite vloggers (ones who embody non-toxic productivity, good habits, and in general, aspects of the healthy and wholesome life i want to lead myself) and be inspired for the week/day/month/year ahead! i also use it to keep myself on task with easy-but-not-too-easy-listening playlists so that i don't get bored and zone out or something, and of course it's where i get all my comprehensible input for language learning! i'm a firm believer that it's not the took but rather how you use it. deleting social media doesn't work half as well as training yourself to use it in ways that serve you. yes, it takes more time and effort and there will be times you feel like you're backsliding, but it feels so good when you get into a healthy groove with it, trust me!

Standard Notes — no frills, great privacy, edit history so you can always roll back, super clean and easy to use. i love lists and this is great for that. definitely do an audit and purge every now and then no matter what app you use or else you'll always find yourself not knowing where you're at or where you need to be! i also use it to draft emails, important messages, even stuff i want to remember to say at work meetings (planning things in advance helps me orient myself better in the present to action on my goals~). i used it to journal as well before, but nowadays i journal longhand also because i want to practice handwriting in Korean/Chinese.

Notion — i use this more for long-term stable tracking/lists like Life Goals™️ (literally just a bucket list that i intend to evaluate once a year, but i give into the urge to do it roughly every quarter, lol). so if something's been in my Standard Notes for a while and hasn't changed, or i notice myself journaling about it regularly, i might transfer it out to Notion. i also manage my course notes and program plan here because i like being able to quickly search for things.

Tumblr — the challenges i've been doing are all that's keeping me accountable sometimes 😅 when it comes to goal-setting, something about needing to articulate as if someone else is going to read it helps me be more realistic and clear about what i want to achieve. the community support is also very motivating 🙏

Calm — the sleep/breathwork meditations help me a lot when i'm too wired or anxious to sleep. the also have some energizing ones that help when i need to be awake but feel too low energy🔋

Clock App — literally, just set an alarms for when you want to go to sleep. i recently turned mine off because i've gotten into the habit so much that it's more annoying than actually serving a purpose now, but in the beginning it helped me a lot. set them aggressively too, like the way you would when you want to make sure you wake up, like one to go off every five minutes for like an hour 😂 also since i'm juggling work, school, etc, it's very useful for making sure i get to all my appointments on time!

what i keep track of on paper 📝

journal entries — as i mentioned, i like doing this longhand lately as it feels more therapeutic when i'm writing myself out of a non-functional period.

school to-do list/daily planner — i don't know why i just started keeping track of this analog and it works well for me. i write down a masterlist of readings, assignments, etc. for the week and then from that list, write down what i'm going to tackle each day.

my MBTI

as a psychology student, i feel obliged to preface this with a short "your MBTI is not a stable thing because your personality is constantly evolving" speech, so:

your MBTI is not a stable thing because your personality is constantly evolving *end speech*

i'm INFJ (but i've also been ISFJ, INTJ, ENFJ, probably others i don't remember, basically if you're a different personality and we spend some time together, i will use my INFJ empathetic powers to become not-INFJ)

💌 previously answered ask for context in case anyone else is in a similar situation ❤️

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wen-kexing-apologist · 7 months

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Rules: List 10 of your comfort shows, then tag 10 people

I was tagged by @sorry-bonebag

Oooh okay, this is weirdly hard, because I watch a lot of shows repeatedly, but I don't know that I turn to any of them for comfort when I'm like...upset, or stressed. When I do return to a show, it is either because it makes for good background sound to help me concentrate better on a task, or because it's wriggled its way in to my brain and I need to just get it out of my system. But honestly, if I'm feeling in need of comfort, I mostly just watch whatever I was currently working my way through, or start something new, because I mostly just need something to distract me for long enough that I forget how to experience emotions.

So, I guess for this challenge, I'll just talk about the shows that I have rewatched the most.

KinnPorsche: I have watched KinnPorsche a whopping 14 times, front to back, and there are definitely a few episode (Ep 6 in particular) that I have likely watched more than that. The first 4 watchthroughs were because KinnPorsche was my first BL, and I had never seen anything like it before, and didn't really know where to find more, and so I devoured it again and again because it just made me happy to have a mafia show where everyone was gay and homophobia wasn't really a thing. Unfortunately for me, and everyone, I found KinnPorsche right around the time that I had to write my thesis for my degree, and I had discovered that because I have ADHD and I do not know Thai, it was helpful for me to focus by having something playing in the background, and even more so if it was a Thai show because then the words I was hearing and the words I was writing wouldn't get mixed up. Which meant I found..ten people that I made sit through this show with me one by one until my thesis was done.

Our Flag Means Death: I watched OFMD 11 times, because I hadn't seen anythign quite like it, and because there was non-binary representation, and because it was my first show with elder gay men finding their first love, and because it was just fun, and in my opinion very expertly handled in terms of switching from a slapstick comedy to something much more rich, detailed, and serious by the end. I think I was hitting a pretty significant low, and it was one of the few dopamine hits I could get. So I milked that puppy for all it was worth.

Bed Friend: I literally could not tell you what it was about this show that captured me so thoroughly. I think it was simply just how surprised I was at how much trauma they included in this show, without any advanced warning in the trailers. I just wanted to see Uea happy and so I watched this show repeatedly until the season ended.

The Eclipse: I have seen The Eclipse six times front to back, and traced the trajectory of Akk and Ayan's relationship much more than that. Akk is my favorite BL character. I liked seeing how complciated his character was. And I just remember being the kid who had so many adults asking things of them, so I sympathize really hard with the fear Akk has of letting people down. I also just love how strong of a message Golf was sending, and just loved watching First and Khaotung cry.

What We Do in the Shadows: I have seen the first three or four seasons of WWDITS like five times, and there are particular episodes (The Wellness Center) that I have seen upwards of 20 times. Again because I was sleep deprived, broke as shit, and stressed out of my goddamn mind balancing school and work, I didn't have the brain power to look for other shows, so I just watched this or used it as background noise.

Young Royals: I have seen this show roughly five times. Young Royals is the show that made me realize that it was actually really helpful to have foreign language shows running in the background while I did work. I really liked it, and I thought they navigated sweet and serious very well.

Bad Buddy: I have seen BB four times. I love how much goofiness and joy they managed to pack in to such an emotionally charged show. Ohm and Nanon are incredible actors, and it was a very very very good show. I watched it one, and then saw a fan edit of them on social media and went "I miss my boys" and watched it again. Then I rewatched it with a friend, and then there was a clown rewatch leading up to Our Skyy 2 which was really helpful for me because my lovely mutuals on tumblr are massive Bad Buddy fans and it was extremely educational listening to them discuss the show.

Laws of Attraction: I have watched this three times since it finished airing less than a month ago. I just love Charn and Tin so much.

And then we're gonna get in to movies, because those are the only shows I've really watched on repeat on my own:

9. The Old Guard: I watched this movie 11 times. I do not know why. The first time I saw it, it was fine, the second time I saw it something absolutely rotted my brain, I thought it was the best action movie that has ever been made, and I could not stop watching it. Maybe it's just cause I'm gay and Charleize Theron and KiKi Lane are hot, and Joe and Nicky were allowed to be violent, masculine, gay, and immortal. 10. Big Eden: I do not know how many times I've watched this movie, it's probably five or six. But this is one of my favorites of all time. It never fails to put a smile on my face. Pike is one of my most beloved characters. Before I even really knew or acknowledged my queerness, I saw this film, and for the first time in my life, when the movie was done. I IMMEDIATELY started it back over and watched it again. Back to back. It's so sweet. AH!!!!

I'm not tagging ten people. Whoever wants to, please take this as your invitation to respond.

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whatyadrawin · 2 months

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No one else I know has the same issue as me.

Over the years, my unmedicated mentally ill adhd ass has been raw dogging every awful traumatic event, and it's taken its toll.

School as an adult is difficult, a lot of courses are "condensed" these days because of the need for the students to join the workforce due to lack of employees(medical).

I have this worsening issue where I need to read sentences a few times because they come into my mind wrong.

For example, the way someone writes a sentence could make or break my understanding of it.

Ex: 'The effect of a parasitic infection in a minute portion of the population causes the digestive process to decline by an average of 10%'

How I read it the first time:

'The effect of of infection parasite population causes digestion decline 10%'

AND I DONT SPEED READ.

It gets even worse when I read sentences from ESL folks(it's not their fault, I don't blame them) because the arrangement of words and missing verbs makes it like a puzzle for me when for normal people its a quick easy read, and I have to read it at least twice to ensure I understand correctly.

Don't even get me started on tests, I need to go over each question 3 times and then come back to it to make sure my fucking brain didn't misinterpret the question. This is hell when the instructors don't give a shit about plain language or proper communication so they make these vague fucking questions that have so many possible answers but yet they expect you to know the specific type of answer they want. School is hell for me, and I fucking love the sciences! But learning things and RETAINING THE INFO is an impossible challenge, my memory is fucking garbage so studying is like a game of memorizing important bits of info. It's bullshit when the instructor decides not to be specific about what the test is on because then I have to memorize entire chapters of data just to ensure I don't miss anything just in case.

I just wish my brain functioned like everyone else's! It's so fucking hard to focus on tasks at hand, reading is something I love doing but oh boy is it a massive struggle for me. It's the same thing for listening to people talk, if it isn't about something I'm super passionate about, I miss like 50% of what they say and then they get mad when I ask them to repeat certain parts.

I live in neurodivergent hell, and as much as the people in my life sympathize and support me, they do not understand what my brain is doing... ITS FUCKING FIRING NEURONS IN THE WRONG ORDER AND AT 600x THE NORMAL SPEED.

Anyway, I just wanted to rant about this because it's just been a sore spot for me for my whole life and I feel alone and people who don't experience this shit tend to make it out like I'm incompetent.

Let's get this right, I AM COMPETENT AND CAPABLE. IT JUST TAKES QUADRUPLE THE EFFORT FOR ME TO DO SOMETHING THAT YOU FIND EASY.

Ok, im done now. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

#what ya thinkin #neurodivergent #adhd brain #neurotypicals dont get it #mental health #rant post #maybe im just unintelligent by design #my brain is a beautiful hellscape

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quodekash · 1 year

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A Way Too In-Depth Over-Analysis of Sorvus

I apologise in advance. For all of this. There’s a lot. These guys have inserted themselves into every empty renting space in my brain and uprooted all the taken spaces and moved in to everything. So to appease my brain I had to do this and then it just kept going. Also I’m Australian, so I have different spellings of some words, like “favourite” and you’re just gonna have to deal with that. Also also warning for very long paragraph rambles from me.

You’re literally gonna get the entire story here but with commentary at every paragraph. And sometimes four times in one paragraph. Anyway.

1. “For weeks” means they’ve spent heaps of time together, and using this instance as a guide, probably with no one but them. They’ve progressively learnt more and more about each other, yet later Soren is still super bright and excited to learn that Corvus’ favourite season is autumn, and that’s just so pure.

2. I would like to see this please.

3. “[…]lost most of the time” implies that Corvus won sometimes. teLL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERY SINGLE ONE PLS I NEED TO KNOW WHICH ONES CORVUS WON (and yeah I also just need more Sorvus content but what can I say, they mean everything to me)

4. Corvus could probably just not participate, or tell Soren he’s too tired, or something along those lines. And yet he always tries his best, he still does it despite knowing he’ll probably lose. The fact that he’s not avoiding the challenges tells us that Corvus truly appreciates Soren’s friendship/companionship/company/etc and is fully willing to do tasks that he’s not great at to spend time with Soren and put a smile on his face. And you can’t tell me that’s not love, whether romantic or platonic or whatever. Honestly, if Corvus’ top love language is anything, I’d say it’s quality time. The other four just don’t quite fit, and, from the little we see of Corvus on screen, it seems like he’s most content when spending time with his favourite people. As for Soren, you could argue his love language is literally any of them. But I think his top two are words of affirmation and quality time - he was always so invalidated his whole life, mostly by his own father (I swear I’ll make a post of this at some point). His mother left, his father neglected him, his sister betrayed him. That’s gotta bring trust issues. So after all that, he’d appreciate someone telling him he’s worth it and telling him they love him. He’d appreciate spending time with those he loves, not even doing anything, just sitting and enjoying each other’s company, without his flaws being pointed out, without the stress of trying to keep his family together, just sitting there and loving and breathing and being.

1. This part could be a metaphor?? Corvus wants to go further with relationships at an easy pace where Soren wants to speed it up? Corvus is more of a peaceful person and Soren is scared of losing people and missing out on particular moments of relationships so he tries to experience it all at once?? It’s entirely possible I’m reading too far into this but I’m treating this like a school assignment, where you have to read too far into everything. You decide whether this is a good interpretation or not, I can’t decide.

2.a. If Soren has mentioned it “every time”, that implies a few things. The first is that they go up there enough for Soren to mention it a lot. Soren has a favourite place in the entire castle, and he wants to share it with Corvus (and there’s no one up there but them ;] IM KIDDING- or am I? Honestly I can’t tell, you decide.) 2.b. The second thing is that Corvus has heard Soren talk about this part of the castle a lot. But there’s not even the slightest hint of description of Corvus’ annoyance at having to listen to Soren constantly say this is one of his favourite places, he just lets him tell him, over and over. It’s getting little personal here, but Soren totally has ADHD, which makes my job easier bc I also have ADHD. 2.b.ii. I personally forget all the time if I’ve told this particular person this particular story/fact/whatever it is or not, so I constantly tell the same story over and over. It feels exciting bc each time it feels like I’m telling them for the first time, since I don’t remember the previous times. So when the person/people I’m talking to don’t lost their patience or get annoyed or anything when I tell them something I’ve already told them, and instead they just react like it’s the first time they’ve heard it, it feels really validating. So I’m thinking Soren feels the same, and Corvus not showing a hint of annoyance despite hearing this a lot feels really good to my neurodivergent brain and probably feels good to Soren’s, too.

1. Corvus. Notices things. About. Soren. And not just recently, it’s “a long time ago”, meaning he’s observed Soren and committed his habits to memory for years. I love them.

2. ADHDDDDDDD

3. He ✨cares✨

1. Something about the way this is worded is so beautiful. A sentence of peaceful description in the midst of casual dialogue. It makes it feel like they’re one person, staring at the beautiful view, taking it all in, together with each other but alone from anyone else to distract them from the gorgeous autumn horizon.

1. Like I said earlier (by earlier, I mean the literal first thing I said. There’s still a lot to go. This thing is called a way too in-depth over-analysis for a reason), Soren is so purely excited with the knowledge that Corvus’ favourite season is autumn. Autumn, the season they’re presently in. Meaning, for a few months, Corvus is always experiencing his favourite season, meaning he’s probably always feeling some amount of happiness/content, and the thought that Corvus is happy makes Soren happy.

2. They’re both just standing on a castle, next to each other, and staring out at nature. It probably feels like they’re the only people in the world. If they’re the only people, then to each of them, the most important thing in existence is (probably) the other. It also might be a metaphor to something, but I can’t figure out what it is. It’s possible the metaphor is something I’ve already mentioned. But if anyone thinks of anything, please lemme know, it’s an itch I can’t reach so if anyone can, please scratch it for me. (I made a metaphor about not being able to figure out a metaphor. Metaphor-caption or something, idk man)

3. Such a simple statement. Standing in such a relaxed way. He’s at peace, while alone with one of the most energetic people like ever.

1. That’s a date. Surely I’m not the only one seeing this, right? Soren, you’re describing a date. Idk if you realised, but that’s a date. You’ve just suggested a date. And Corvus will say yes.

2. Soren’s horrified that Corvus would possibly be mistreated. He’s also, more importantly, scared that it wasn’t mistreatment but Corvus’ choice, because if it was a choice then Corvus might not like beds and castles and other people and Soren can’t handle the thought that Corvus might leave him, just like everyone else he’s ever loved and trusted.

3. Help now I’m picturing little forest dates, with picnics and lying next to each other, staring at the canopy of leaves above them, and glancing at each other every time the other looks away and smiling and holding hands and Soren lying with his head on Corvus’ chest and a leaf falling right on Soren’s face and Corvus’ laugher rumbling his belly and making Soren sit up and throw the leaf at him and they laugh and smile and talk and they’re in love help

1. I kinda touched on this earlier, but Soren can’t fathom the idea of being without Corvus. Probably because of losing his entire family so Corvus is just about all Soren’s got left. And he’s really scared that he’ll lose him, too, and losing everyone would make Soren lost; lost and alone and scared and vulnerable and he needs a hug i volunteer as tribute and shut up that’s possible this is my post i make the rules but if i cant hug him then i volunteer Corvus as tribute

2. (Yes we’re talking about sentence structure. This is a way too in-depth over-analysis, get over it already man.) It’s repeated that something is bothering Soren. Repetition means emphasis, that the author wants us to know that it’s an important thing, so they say it a couple times. Something is bothering Soren, and that bothers Corvus. He wants to help Soren and get rid of this thing that’s bothering him (probably).

3. Let me translate what Soren is trying to say here: “What about me? Do you like me?” He’s seeking validating and wanting to get Corvus to stay, because without Corvus he has nothing.

1. Translation again: “I like you. I trust you. And trust is really important now, with everything that’s happened. There was a war. Everyone I’ve ever trusted betrayed me or left me. So please date me join the crown guard with me so I have more opportunities to ask you to date me it’s really big that I trust you so much, because I’ve been having issues with trust.”

2. I have asd!corvus head canons, so eye contact here is really important and rare

1. He’s paying attention to him.

2. I like to imagine he did finger guns

1. Imagine how this went down. “I like corvus a lot” “yeah, he’s great! I want him to stay in katolis but hes more at home in the forest-“ “corvus should be crown guard… I really trust him.” “-yeah, cos you’re in love with him- I trust him too. You should ask him to date you join.” (ez totally ships it and tries to set them up a lot and you cant tell me otherwise)

1. He’s trying to avoid Corvus seeing the truth in his eyes; that he doesn’t want Corvus to go, that he loves Corvus, that without Corvus he doesn’t know who or even what he is, because Corvus is all he has left.

2. I know this is like an emotional flicker or whatever, but what if it’s literally pain and wounds that are hidden behind his protective armour? Soren broke like all his bones. There’s almost no way he doesn’t still get flashes/twinges of pain (I feel like there’s some kind of medical term for that but I’ve forgotten what it is). He definitely doesn’t tell anyone about it, but probably gets flashes of pain every so often, and Corvus has somehow managed to pick up on that. Maybe.

1. People with ADHD are often over-thinkers (at least I think so? I don’t have any sources for it but I’m an over-thinker and so is everyone I know with ADHD. So probably.), so Corvus said it “as plainly as he could” to stop Soren from over-thinking it and spiralling. He gets it out, doesn’t stall, doesn’t mislead, doesn’t confuse. Just says it, and there it is, and Soren is so happy

1. I’ll admit it, I’m still thoroughly confused by this part but it’s fine cos they’re both happy and that makes me happy.

and that’s all the shenanigans i have for you today. if you made it this far, flipping wow, because there is quite literally more analysis here than there is story.

but that’s not all from me.

no, i have eight notes on my phone ready for things to be added to them, and theyll be here… at some point. if you wanna be notified when i post them you can follow me i guess. or go to the tag at the bottom of each of these posts, ‘tdp rambles with bj’ (hopefully it’s worked) and you can follow that or something? idk. sorry, im bad at self-promos. uhh. yeah. anyway this was fun, im so tired but so thrilled to finally have all my thoughts out in once place. stay calm and ship sorvus, everyone.

Have a gay day! -BJ

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