#i never read the comics and have no intention of doing so but heard that mai broke up with him? and if he can't be with mai i do think it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

celiastjamesoscar · 8 months

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Say Yes to Heaven

Pairings: Sam Carpenter x fem!reader

Summary: It was never Sam’s intention to fall in love with you, but after countless nights tangled up in sheets together, she fell for you. But her love came with consequences, and she knew she could never provide you with the life you needed. So she broke up her arrangement with you, breaking your heart in the process as well.

Trope: friends with benefits

Warnings: mentions of smut at the beginning, angst, insecure and extremely soft Sam, cussing, Sam protecting reader from herself (Sam), self-destructive Sam, Billy slanders Sam

My Masterlist

AN: ‘Say Yes to Heaven’ heavily inspired this. In Lana we trust!

Word Count: 11.8K

With a heavy sigh and a small prayer, Sam clocked out of the cafe. It was nearing 11:30 at night, and she wanted to sleep and maybe do a few fun activities with you before that.

When Sam moved to New York, she was ready to put her past behind her and steer clear of relationships for a while, at least until she met you.

You were working on a project with Tara when Sam first met you, and she was immediately enthralled with you. Where Sam never smiled, you always wore a smile on your lips, and where Sam had dark, haunting eyes, yours lit up every room you walked in.

You and Sam were complete opposites, but you fit together like puzzle pieces. So, when Tara had invited you over for a late-night hangout with the group and got a few beers in the mix, you walked past the bathroom and heard Sam talking to herself.

“You okay?” You worriedly asked as you gently knocked on the half-opened door. Sam turned her head and gave you a weak smile, “Yeah, I’m okay.” But how her eyes refused to meet your own and her eyes seemed darker told you a different story.

So, you approached the woman and placed your hand on her tricep and gently rubbed up and down, trying your best to comfort the girl. “Just so you know, I’m here for you, Sam. I always will be,” you said with a smile.

She didn’t know why, but when Sam was with you, you always quieted her father’s voice, and when she pressed her lips against yours, his voice was completely gone.

The soft and eager kisses you shared in the bathroom were your first with her but certainly not your last. The gasps and muffled moans that escaped Sam’s lips were the closest you had ever been to magic, but you were quickly pulled back to reality when Sam pulled away and left you in the bathroom.

You continued the night as if nothing had happened between you and the older woman, but when you got up to go to the bathroom, Sam slipped a note in your hand as she returned to the living room from her bedroom. You nearly fainted when you read the beautiful penmanship that said, ‘My room at 2.’

When the time reached two, and thankfully, everyone else was asleep, you snuck off to Sam’s room and were instantly greeted by her soft lips assaulting your own. The soft moans you pulled from Sam sounded like angels singing, and when you tasted her, you knew you could never get enough. If God would allow it, you would live and die between Samantha Carpenter’s thighs, and it would be the best life you could possibly live.

And that’s how your arrangement came to be with the woman; two or three times a week, you would meet up and have sex but act like friends in public. You weren’t going to lie; it hurt you, but you wouldn’t complain as long as you had her.

Recalling your first time together, Sam smiled as she drove to her apartment and eagerly sent you a text asking you to come over once she got home. By the time she arrived at her place, she only had enough time to take a quick shower before you were eagerly knocking at her door.

The smile on your face was almost comical when Sam opened the door and quickly pulled you into a kiss. Your lips danced with hers as you stumbled into her room and locked the door. You gently pushed Sam down on the bed and peppered kisses along her jawline and neck. “Is Tara home?” You muttered between kisses on her neck. “No. Mindy’s,” Sam said heavily as her fingers started to scratch down your back.

“Good,” you replied before kissing Sam’s lips and removing her shirt.

You kissed down her chest and removed her bra before worshiping her breasts. Your lips left a trail of soft kisses and rough hickeys as they traveled from her neck to her sternum and down to her hips. Even though Sam was tough on the outside and pretended like she didn’t need to be taken care of, she was the softest with you.

The sex you had with Sam was the softest and most genuine you had ever had before, and you wouldn’t trade it for anything. The way Sam would intertwine your hands when you were buried between her thighs, eating her out like she was your last meal on earth was something that had your heart do flips, and when she pulled you up to her lips and gently cupped your cheeks before kissing you; you knew she liked it soft more than anything else.

You loved the beautiful pleas and moans that left Sam’s lips as you gently kissed and nipped at her thighs before focusing on where she needed you the most. And you groaned when you felt Sam’s hand fly into your hair and tug, roughly encouraging you to keep it up.

The aftercare was probably what you enjoyed the most; the way Sam wanted to be cuddled after her orgasm to remind herself that you wouldn’t leave her made you fall in love with her. You would provide her with water and maybe even some snacks while you prepared a bubble bath for you two to share, and Sam melted into your hold as she relaxed her back against your front, enjoying the hot water with you. When you would wash her hair and run your fingers through it, a few involuntary moans would escape Sam’s lips, and you would chuckle before placing a few chaste kisses on the hickeys that littered her neck.

“I love it when you do that,” you would mumble against her neck and Sam would slightly turn her head and press her lips to yours, silently telling you to keep it up.

There were rare moments throughout your life where you were sure about something, but you were confident that your purpose on this earth was to please and cater to Sam; you would live and die a happy life if that were all you did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The soft sound of labored breathing could be heard within Sam’s room. After countless hours of enjoying each other’s bodies, Sam lay naked on your bare chest. You traced gentle patterns on Sam’s back with your left hand while you held Sam’s hand with your other, and she kissed your collarbone before leaning up to look at you. “Can I tell you something?” She asked with honest eyes even though her tone seemed scared.

You didn’t know about Sam’s past, and she was grateful for that, even though she was positive you knew about the rumors circulating on the internet about her. But you never asked, and she felt that she owed you for that. Sam was comfortable with you, which terrified her; when she was comfortable, she was vulnerable, and Sam didn’t know if she could trust you. But when she looked into your eyes and saw nothing but love and understanding, she knew she could trust you with everything; her body, her heart, her soul, her past.

You placed a quick kiss on her lips before speaking in a quiet tone, “Of course, Sam; what is it?” With a sigh, Sam leaned her head on your chest and told you everything: how her actual father was Billy Loomis, how her adoptive father left, the Ghostface attacks, her drug addiction, her schizophrenia, and how she saw her dead father, everything.

Sam expected you to get up and leave or tell her that you wanted to break things off. Hell, she even expected you to scream at her and leave her too, but when she felt you place the softest kiss on her head and whisper, “You’re still my Sammy,” all her worries disappeared. She knew it wasn’t a part of your deal, but she slowly felt herself falling for you, and you also fell for her.

Sam leaned up from your chest and stared into your love-struck ones. “I don’t deserve you,” she choked out with a laugh as tears welled in her eyes. You shook your head and cupped Sam’s cheeks with your hands. “Don’t you ever say that, Sam. You deserve to be loved; you deserve to have someone in your life who cares for you and will do anything for you. You deserve to know what peace feels like,” you stated as you kissed her Cupid’s bow, “Samantha Carpenter, you deserve all of the love in the world.”

And when you spoke, Sam knew she was doomed to fall in love with you, but she also knew she was unloveable.

So, she did what she thought was best for you: she broke it off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I think we should stop this,” Sam admitted one night while you were at her place. You two had the entire apartment to yourselves, and you had been tasting each other for hours. Sam lay on your chest when she spoke but leaned up and moved to hang her legs over the side of the bed as if she was getting ready to stand up. The statement caught you off guard, and you thought it was a joke.

“What? Why?” You asked with a dry laugh as you moved to your left side and gently reached out and rubbed Sam's naked back, but the girl flinched at your delicate touch. “Sam, what’s wrong?” Your heart dropped into your stomach when your lover flinched at your touch, something she had never done before.

“I just think we should stop this,” Sam replied while standing up and walking to her closet. She couldn’t face you while she did this; if it made her coward, so be it. If she saw the heartbreak on your face, she would never forgive herself.

You huffed before leaning up in bed and holding the blankets over your chest.

You admired Sam’s naked body as she picked through her clothes and threw on a loose t-shirt and some sweatpants. “Give me a reason,” you stated, clearly leaving no room for negotiation. “I don’t want to do this anymore,” Sam replied as she gathered your clothes and handed them to you.

With a scoff, you snatched your clothes from Sam and quickly threw them on. “I know you said that, but why? Why would you tell me that after I just fucked you?” You exclaimed with bewilderment in your voice. This wasn’t the Sam you knew, and you knew that something was bothering her.

Sam refused to meet your gaze and crossed her arms, something she only did when trying to isolate herself, “I just think it’s time we moved to different things.” A dry laugh left your lips as you sat down on the end of Sam’s bed. “Different things?’ Sam, you don’t spend six fucking months sleeping with someone and then just decide out of nowhere you don’t want to anymore!” You exclaimed.

“Yes, I can. It’s called having a change of heart. And besides, we both agreed to no strings attached,” Sam defended. You saw the tears in her eyes and how her voice broke when she spoke, but it didn’t make you feel any better.

“Yes, but that was before…” You trailed off with a sigh, “That was before I fell in love with you. I love you, Sam.”

A single tear ran down Sam’s cheek as you spoke; she felt her heart rip into tiny pieces as she took in your confession. She wanted nothing more than to tell you that she loved you, yearned for your soft kisses and sweet words and that her life would mean nothing if she didn’t have you. But Sam knew that she could not provide you with a good life; her schizophrenia would drive you away, along with her haunting past of drug addiction and the Ghostface accusations. She believed she was helping you in the end, even though you couldn’t see it.

“Please, do not say that,” Sam quietly admitted as her lip quivered and another tear fell down her cheek, “Not now, Y/N. Please.”

You moved from the bed and gently gripped Sam’s wrists, and she finally made eye contact with your sullen eyes. “I know you feel it too, Sam. Please, I’m begging you, Give peace a chance, and let the fear you have fall away,” you pleaded with a weak voice as your vision blurred with tears, “Say yes to me.”

Sam knew that if she said yes to you, she’d be saying yes to heaven and all the wonders that included letting herself love you, but it would ruin your life.

With a shake of her head, Sam pulled back from you, “You don’t want me, Y/N. I’m too fucked up to give you the life you deserve, and I’m trying to protect you from that.”

“Fuck that! I want you, Sam. I need you,” you exclaimed as you felt your heart break even more and tears streamed down your face, “Tell me you want me too. I know you do. We do everything couples do, Sam. We go to dinner together, we share a bed, we kiss and have sex. Fuck, we even go on dates together, and I even bring you flowers!”

Sam wrapped her arms around you and gently kissed your forehead as you cried into her chest and gripped her back. “One day, I’ll find someone who isn’t the schizophrenic daughter of a famous serial killer, and they will give you the best fucking life you could possibly have, Y/N. Which is something I can’t give you,” Sam choked out as her tears started to freefall.

You pulled away from Sam’s chest, and your chest tightened when you saw how difficult this was for her. You knew she was only doing this to protect you, but you didn’t want her protection; you wanted her. You both wanted each other, but perhaps this was the best course of action.

With a small sniffle, you left Sam’s room and went to the front door to leave, but you sent Sam one last glance. Sam approached you and handed you your keys and phone. “You might need these,” Sam joked, but it wasn’t funny at all.

You swallowed any pride you had left and kissed her hard for a final time, and you nearly cried when she kissed you back and gripped the back of your neck, pulling you into her and feeling your soft skin against her own for the last time. “You don’t have to do this,” you muttered against her lips, but she pulled back from you and opened the door. “I know, but it’s for your own good,” Sam replied as you stepped out into the hallway.

That was the problem with Sam; she always did things to protect others from herself. She never allowed herself to enjoy things in life, and that even meant you. Sam’s own mother had told her that she was unloveable and she shouldn’t waste her time on relationships because no one would ever want her, so she didn’t want you to waste your time with someone like her. She wanted to allow herself to love, cherish, and kiss you; she longed to tell you that she loved you, but her past traumas prevented her from telling you, so she loved you from a distance.

So when you walked down the hallway and Sam closed the door to her apartment, you felt your heart close for good with it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The days after your split from Sam were blurs; you went to class, did your homework, and slept. You did this for weeks, and you never talked to anyone, too heartbroken to care. You missed your home; you missed your Sam. She was your world, your everything, and in the blink of an eye, you were stranded with nowhere to go.

You could go any you wanted, anywhere you wanted, just not home.

And that killed you. You had never felt heartbreak like this, and you were sure that you would never recover from it. Of course, you knew other people would come along, but no one would ever compare to Sam. You would do anything to have just one more night with her, but you knew it would never work as long as she refused to believe that she deserved happiness.

When you stumbled into your apartment around ten at night, you heard hushed voices in the living room, but you paid them no mind and went into your room.

You had kicked off our shoes when you heard a gentle knock at your door. “Go away,” you replied as you gathered clean clothes for a shower.

The door quickly flung open as Anika marched over to you and forcefully shoved you into your bed. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” She hissed as she stared you down, “You have been so goddamn moody this past month, and you don’t talk to anyone! What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong, Anika,” you replied while standing up, but Anika refused to let you get by. “Nope, I don’t believe you. Tell me,” the girl commanded, but you had no mind to tell her what was wrong.

“I’m fine, seriously. School is just getting to me; that’s all,” you said with a fake smile, and Anika did not buy it for one second. But she knew you would talk about it on your own time, so with a sigh, she went to your bedroom door but stopped and faced you, “Just…Come out and talk with the group; they miss you.”

You didn’t have any time to ask Anika who the group was before she left your room and shut your door.

With a sigh, you went into your bathroom, took an excessively long shower, and only got out when no hot water was left. You slowly got dressed and sat on your bed for five minutes, debating if you really wanted to go and socialize, but you sucked it up and left your room.

When Sam saw you enter the living room, her heart cried out for you. Your once bright eyes had dark bags under them, and your cheeks looked hollow, as if you weren’t eating enough. And that beautiful smile you once had was nowhere to be seen; a fake one lived in its place. She knew this was her fault; she was just trying to protect you from her, but seeing you like this destroyed her.

Sam wouldn’t lie; breaking things off with you was the hardest thing she had ever done, and missing you was far worse. She missed you like the stars missed the sun in the morning sky, and she only wanted to have you back, but it was for the best. Not only did she have a lot of baggage, but she was a full six years older than you, and by the time you were her age, you would have already started your life with someone who had their shit together, not a dead-end job and no college degree.

You gave the group a fake smile as you sat in a lonesome chair in the corner of the room. The group consisted of Mindy, Anika, Chad, Tara, and Sam. The woman you loved was sitting on the opposite side of the couch, and you tried your best to keep a great distance between you and her without raising eyebrows.

“Alright, I’m just going to cut to the chase: What the fuck, Y/N? You disappear out of thin air on me, and you don’t return any of my calls,” Tara stated as she looked at you. She didn’t know what had happened between you and her sister, but she had her suspicions once she saw Sam with a hickey on her neck after you came over.

“I’m sorry, Tara. I really am. I have just been swamped with homework, and I’ve been studying for the MCAT,” you stated as you shifted uncomfortably in your seat, not expecting this integration from the more petite girl. It wasn’t a complete lie; the MCAT was murdering you, and you were solely running on coffee and Red Bull, but you weren’t in the mood to admit your love affair with Sam to your friends.

“Mhm,” Tara replied as she glared at you. She didn’t believe you at all and knew something else was bothering you, but she wasn’t going to question you about it in front of people, but she will do it when you two are alone. “So then, would you want to come to my place for a movie night this Sunday?”

You thought about the offer momentarily; you wanted to have a night with your friends, but you didn’t want to be around Sam. “Sure, what time?” You asked while sending a quick glance at Sam, and you noticed that her eyes hadn’t left you since you first walked into the room.

When your eyes locked, your hearts quickened and soon started to beat in sync, as if you two were soul-tied and the universe knew it. You saw how Sam’s dark eyes were darker than usual and how there were stress lines between her eyebrows, and you swore you could see the faintest of gray hair. A slight frown pulled at your lips when you finally realized how much Sam wanted you, but she told herself she couldn’t have you.

“Sometime around 7, if that’s alright with you,” Tara replied with a small smile, completely ignorant about your stare-down with her sister. “Sounds good. I shall be there,” you said.

A small groan left Mindy’s lips as she pushed herself off the couch, “Thank god you two got that sorted out; now it’s time to drink,” she stated as she walked into the kitchen area and pulled out two six-packs.

With a loud thump, Mindy sat them on the coffee table before you and the group, “Anyone thirsty?”

One drink turned into two, two turned into three, and then many more as the night continued. When the time rolled around to one in the morning, you were definitely drunk off your ass, but the alcohol helped numb the pain in your chest.

You were sitting on the couch next to Tara as you watched a comedy movie with the group due to Chad’s selection. “This is such a shitty movie,” Mindy whined while throwing her back to add more effect. A scoff came from Chad as he faced his sister, “‘Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan’ is an awesome movie, actually. You just don’t have taste.”

“That title is the reason this movie sucks,” Mindy replied but shut up once Anika laid her head in the twin’s lap.

You conversed with Tara while Chad watched the movie, and Mindy and Anika fell asleep on the couch together. Sam was sitting on a small chair next to you and Tara but made no effort to join your conversation.

“So, seriously, Y/N. How come you ghosted me?” Tara asked with a slight frown. She missed having you over every weekend even though you only stayed to be knuckles deep in her sister at some point throughout the night.

You fidgeted with your fingers while looking down at the floor, “I’ve just been…” you didn’t know the correct way to word this without throwing Sam under the bus, “I’ve been going through some stuff, and it sucks.”

The younger girl moved closer to you and gently took your hands into her own, “You’re my best friend, Y/N. You can tell me about anything that’s bothering you.”

“I know; it’s just not something I want to talk about. I hope you can understand,” you replied with a weak smile. You felt Sam’s guilt-ridden gaze on yours, and you couldn’t bear to look at her. ‘I’ve got my eye on you,’ Sam thought to herself as her worry grew with every second that passed.

“I understand,” Tara said as she gave your hands a caring squeeze before pulling them back and leaning against the back of the couch, “You know, Sam has also been going through something as well.”

When the words left Tara’s mouth, you instantly perked up, and your eyes locked with Sam’s guilt-ridden ones. “Tara, that’s not for you to share,” Sam remarked through gritted teeth as she stared at her sister. “I know, but maybe that’s something you two could talk about,” Tara stated as she stood up from the couch and stuck an arm toward you and Sam.

You shared a quick glance with Sam and a silent conversation with her before you grudgingly took Tara’s hand and allowed the girl to pull you up from the couch. She did the same with Sam and led you two into your bedroom.

“Do not come back out until you two have talked about your problems,” Tara said with a knowing smile as she locked the door from the inside and left. “I can literally unlock the door,” you mumbled under your breath as you walked to the door and unlocked it.

You sighed as you turned around and faced Sam, and you almost frowned at how out of place she looked. The woman before you had been in your room countless times before, and she practically knew it like the back of her hand, but now, she was just as awkward as when you go over to someone’s house for the first time.

“You can make yourself at home, you know,” you said as you walked to your bed, took off your shoes, and sat down. You rested your back against the headboard and brought your feet onto the bed as Sam approached your bed. “Is it alright if I sit with you?” She quietly asked, and your heart cracked at how weak it was. The voice used to be full of love and certainty, but now it was only a ghost of itself.

“Sam, you’ve been naked in this bed before. Of course, you can join me,” you said with a small laugh before Sam copied your actions from before. When she got comfortable on your bed, you two sat in awkward silence as you stared forward, neither knowing what to say but wanting to say everything.

You looked over at Sam’s, and you noticed the frown on her lips as she battled with her thoughts. “I miss you,” Sam breathlessly admitted, “I know it’s fucked up and wrong of me to say this, but I really do miss you.”

“I miss you too, Sam,” you replied. A wry laughter Sam’s lips, and she choked out, “Some nights, I’ll wake up in an empty bed and think that you’re either in the bathroom or up talking to Tara, so I wait for you to get back. Only, you never show up.”

A small tear ran down your cheek, and your lip quivered as you tried to keep your composure. “I got so used to sleeping in your arms that most nights I cuddle with Squid to go to sleep,” you joked through a broken voice, and Sam couldn’t help but laugh as well.

Squid was your cat sent straight from Hell who hated any affection but somehow loved Tara and only her. Probably because they were both small and evil, but you shrugged it off as both of them being like-minded. You looked at Sam and noticed her hiding her hands in her bomber jacket pockets, something she only did when she saw her father.

“You saw him again. Didn’t you?” You worriedly asked. You knew how Sam got when she saw Billy, and the only way to get her back to her normal self was to comfort her, but she wouldn’t let you do that after she destroyed your heart.

Sam didn’t respond to you, debating on whether she should tell you that CVS ran out of her antipsychotics a few days ago, and Billy was starting to get more persistent. “I’m fine; nothing new,” Sam replied while refusing to meet your piercing gaze.

Of course, you knew she was lying, but you would never pressure her into talking, and it was one of the many things she loved about you.

“Well, if you ever want to talk about it,” you said as you reached over to Sam and gently placed your hand on her thigh, “I’m always here for you.”

Sam’s eyes shot to your hand, and heat instantly crept up her neck at the contact. “Thank you, Y/N, but I’m fine,” Sam mumbled.

“Okay, but if you need anything, you can always call me Sam. No matter what it is, I’ll drop everything and come to you,” you said as you gently squeezed Sam’s thigh before removing your hand and placing it in your lap.

A few awkward beats of silence passed before you quietly asked, “So, how have you been?” Sam chuckled at your question. “You seriously did not ask me that,” Sam joked.

“I don’t know what else to say,” you replied with a small laugh, “But seriously, Sam. How have you been?”

Sam looked at you, and she saw the genuine concern in your eyes. “I feel like I should be asking you that question,” Sam weakly replied. You shrugged your shoulders and smiled at Sam, and the older woman felt all the love she felt for you come flooding back, and all she wanted to do was kiss you.

Instead of giving in to her urges and desires, Sam, once again, decided what was best for you. She got off your bed, and your eyes followed as she opened your door. “This is goodbye, isn’t it?” You asked when she was halfway out the door.

Sam turned to face you, and you saw the tears in her eyes, showing a rare emotion. “I believe so,” Sam replied with a weak smile, “Goodnight, Y/N.” And with that, Sam left your room and shut your door.

Once again leaving you. And for the first time, you let her go without a fight; you simply couldn’t take it anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’ve been seeing someone,” Sam blankly admitted one night with Tara. The two sisters were in Sam’s room, and Tara was cuddled up next to her sister as she dozed in and out of consciousness, but she eagerly shot up at Sam’s statement.

“As In hallucinations or dating?” Tara asked with a raised eyebrow. Knowing Sam, it could be both; she hoped it was the latter.

“Yes, as in dating, you fucking asshole,” Sam huffed under breath as she sat up in bed. Tara moved off of Sam completely and sat crisscrossed on the bed. “Who is it?” Tara asked with an idea of who it was.

She wasn’t stupid; she noticed how you suddenly stopped coming over the mood shift Sam had gone through. And Tara also noticed how Sam’s eyes were always bloodshot, as if she had been crying.

“Promise me you won’t get mad?” Sam asked.

“I cannot promise you how future Tara will react to the news I am about to receive,” the younger sister replied with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

With a small sigh, Sam looked at her sister before confessing, “I had been sleeping with Y/N for six months.”

Nothing. That’s all Sam could hear: nothing. Not even the sound of her breathing or the AC running; it was silent. She was ready to leave when Tara exclaimed, “I fucking knew it!”

The younger sister wrapped her arms around Sam and gently shook the girl back and forth, “I fucking knew it!! I called it!”

“Called what?” Sam asked as she pushed out of Tara’s tight hold and looked at her sister’s eyes full of excitement. “I knew you and Y/N were together since I first saw a hickey on your neck after she ‘disappeared’ somewhere!” Tara replied while making air quotes.

“Whatever, just don’t get too excited about it. We aren’t together anymore,” Sam mumbled.

“Well, I figured as much. You have been extra grumpy lately, and Y/N has been more reserved.”

“I am not grumpy!” Sam defended.

“Yes, you are! You get grumpy when you go a period of time without sex. And it only started when you got with Y/N!” Tara remarked as if she had been studying Sam’s behavioral patterns for a while now. “So, why did you break it off with her?”

“Because she can do much better than me,” Sam admitted. Tara took a few minutes to think about her sister’s words before speaking, “And why is that?”

Sam scoffed, “What do you mean? She can do a lot better than me. I don’t have a college degree, I work two shitty jobs, and I’m six years older than her.”

“Sam, I love you, I really do. But do you think Y/N cares about an age gap? That woman would murder someone just to go on a date with Jennifer Aniston; I think you’re fine. And Y/N wants you for who you are, Sam. Not something you are trying to force yourself to be,” Tara replied, and Sam had to admit, she had a point. “I know, it’s just different,” Sam weakly retorted as she rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“So what happened then? You freak out and push her away?” Tara blatantly asked. She knew how her sister pushed people away when things got rough for her, and to be frank, it hurt her to see Sam push away the people she loved just to protect them from her.

Sam dropped her hand down to her lap and fidgeted with her fingers while she thought about how to word this. Yes, she did break things off with you and push you away, but it was also something more serious than that.

When it came time for Sam to get serious in a relationship, she always ran away from it. But this time, she was ready to get serious with you. She wanted to share a home with you somewhere; she wanted to wake up in bed with you every morning for the rest of her days, and if she was lucky enough, Sam wanted to marry you. And that terrified the shit out of her.

Being in a committed, long-term relationship horrified Sam; she was scared of being stuck with someone and unable to get out. But when she was with you, the only thing she could think about was how beautiful your name would sound if it ended with ‘Carpenter.’

“It’s complicated,” Sam finally said with a shrug of her shoulders, hoping Tara would let it slide.

“No, it’s not! You just have commitment issues,” Tara exclaimed with her hands.

“No, I don’t.”

“Oh really? Then how come you broke up with Y/N?”

“Because…” Sam finally realized that she did, in fact, have commitment issues, “because I am scared to get serious with someone,” she whispered, afraid that Tara would judge her.

Tara moved closer to her sister and gently took Sam’s hands. “Sam, I want you to listen to me, and you listen well. Y/n loves you. Okay? I know that scares the shit out of you, but she really does. She would do anything for you, even if that meant letting you break her heart. But please, do not let this once-in-a-lifetime relationship slip out of your fingers because you are scared to commit to it. Okay? If you really do want a relationship with her, then please tell her, and do not push her away, because a human can only take so much heartbreak before they are too broken to care about others. Please don’t do that to Y/N.”

Sam took Tara’s words as guilt and regret spread throughout her body. Of course, she loved you, but she was afraid that if she told you, you would run away in fear and never talk to her again. But now, as she listened to her sister’s words, she realized she might have already done that. Sam just hoped it wasn’t too late to make it up to you.

With a small sigh, Sam got up from her bed and excused herself to the bathroom. When she walked in and shut the door, she was greeted by her ever-loving father.

“It’s been a while, Sam,” Billy acknowledged while staring at Sam through the mirror. “Please, not tonight,” Sam quietly replied as she grabbed her toothbrush.

It had been a week since CVS ran out of her medication, and she started to see Billy everywhere: the reflections on the train windows, in the puddles of rain that scattered the cracked sidewalk, she even noticed in the corner of her room once, and that was the first. Sam had always seen him in reflections or mirrors, never by himself, and she knew it was only the beginning when she caught the faintest glimpse of him in her corner.

“You never want me to talk to you, Sam. It’s honestly quite insulting,” Billy retorted with a snort, clearly amused with himself. “Honestly, Sam. Why do you hate me?”

A loud scoff left Sam’s lips as she tried her best to keep him quiet, hoping that Tara wouldn’t have to see her talking to Billy. “Leave me alone,” Sam whispered as she wet her toothbrush, put some paste on it, and brushed her teeth.

“Leave you alone? Are you insane? What would you do without me?” Billy exclaimed. Sam didn’t respond to her father as she continued brushing her teeth and ignored the lecture she was getting about following in his footsteps.

“Seriously, Sam. How could you fumble Y/N?” Billy joked as Sam spit out the toothpaste and rinsed out her mouth. She could excuse her father talking to her about murdering people, but she drew the line at slandering you. “That’s enough,” Sam dryly replied as she began flossing her teeth.

“No, it’s not. I might be a figment of your imagination, but I will be damned if I let you pass up on Y/N! That’s just bad parenting,” Billy defended as he crossed his arms. “What are you going to do to get her back?”

“Nothing,” Sam commented as she threw away the string and turned to leave. “Sam, please. Don’t let this pass you up. You will regret letting Y/N go for the rest of your life if you don’t go after her,” Billy reasoned but stopped talking when Sam turned off the light and left the room.

She didn’t need to get lectured by her serial killer father right after her sister finished preaching to her, but maybe he gave out some good advice occasionally.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The week following your conversation with Sam was typical, even though you occasionally cried yourself to sleep and woke up in the middle of the night looking for Sam. And you had miraculously found yourself another suitor.

Of course, you looked at other women following your split from Sam, and you put them into two categories: Sam and not Sam. And no one else seemed to fill the void that Sam left, even though one girl came close.

She was your age and was attending your university when you ran into her at a party, and you two hit it off. You both shared a love for books and nature, but when you were with her, you felt nothing, only longing for your beautiful Latina.

“Are you even paying attention?” Ashley asked as she snapped her fingers before your face, pulling you away from your thoughts.

“Mhm? Oh, yeah. Sorry about that,” you mumbled as you looked around the library. It was later in the evening, and you and Ashley were studying for your MCAT together, but all you could think about was Sam.

“Well, then,” Ashley said with a playful smirk on her lips, “Would you like to go on a date with me sometime?”

The question had caught you off guard, and you certainly weren’t expecting her to be so forward about it. “Um, yeah. Just let me know when,” you replied with a fake smile that Ashley didn’t pick up on. “Sweet! I’ll text you the deets! See ya!” Ashley said as she stood up from the table and kissed your cheek before waltzing away.

The kiss surprised you, and when you felt her lips on your skin, you didn’t feel anything. Not a single spark, and it didn’t make your stomach get tingly like it did with Sam. So, in your eyes, she was just another Not-Sam. But when she texted you late one Thursday, asking you out to dinner on Saturday, you couldn’t find yourself to say no.

Even though she never compared to your Sammy, you were willing to settle for a nice enough girl who had the same career path as you. And hopefully, you could find it in yourself to love her one day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday night had arrived, and for the first time in two months, you got dressed up for a date. You and Sam had made a habit of going on dinner dates at least once a month, as you both hated the idea of classic dates. Your normal dates would consist of small hikes, going to the movies, sometimes watching a local play, shopping at the local bookstores, picking out flowers for each other, and the occasional date where she would pick out a tattoo for you to get.

The thought of getting matching tattoos disgusted you, but you had no problem with letting Sam pick out a tattoo for you, as long as you agreed with it, of course.

You wore a simple black suit with a sheer shirt, classy but still showing a bit of skin. Naturally, you had no intention of trying to impress Ashley, but you wanted to dress up, and it felt good to get fancy occasionally.

Your phone dinged with a text from Ashley, telling you that she was heading to the restaurant now, so you grabbed your keys and jacket and left your room to tell Anika that you were leaving.

When Sam saw you enter the living room dressed in a nice black suit with the jacket in your hand, she felt her heart rip and almost lost her breath. She had killed you, but it killed her just the same. Seeing you dress up for someone who was clearly not her hurt in more ways than a bullet to the brain ever would.

“Alright, Anika, I’m leaving,” you said as you approached the couch and gave Anika a fist bump. You tried your best to ignore the tension in the room as Sam stared at you.

“Let me know if you’re bringing her back here or going over to her place,” Anika said with a smile. She was glad to see you finally leave your room and go out with someone, even if she hated the woman you were going with.

“Sounds good,” you replied with a weak smile that faltered when your eyes landed on Sam. The Latina had a blank expression, but her eyes told a thousand stories. You could see the heartbreak in them, along with the love and yearning she felt toward you. You wanted to say ‘fuck it’ and finally get rid of all this angst between you two; she was your lifeline, and you needed her like the ocean needs the moon, but you knew breaking things off was for the better.

So, when you cleared your throat and said goodbye to the group, you let a lone tear fall down your cheek at the thought of losing your Sam.

When you left the room, the group of friends let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding. “Sam,” Tara whispered as she reached for her sister’s hand, but Sam pulled away. They all knew of the situation between you and Sam, and all four of them hated saying you two this way.

“I need a moment to myself,” Sam said as she pushed herself off the couch. “Are you sure that’s a good idea right now?” Tara asked with worry laced in her voice.

“I’ll be fine; I just need to be by myself for a while,” Sam replied as she left the room, went outside to the backyard, and sat at a table. She allowed herself to think about all the times she had with you, and she slowly felt you slipping through her fingers. You were once her home to come back to on a hard day at work, but now, she had nowhere to go.

No one understood her the way you did, and she desperately needed you back, but she would not ruin your date. Sam had been the one to break things off with you, and she needed to pay the consequences. When she heard your car pull out of the driveway and drive down the road, she finally broke down crying, and you weren’t there to catch her.

She didn’t know how long she was crying until she heard the back door creak open, and Tara walked out of the house and approached her. “Sam,” Tara breathed out as she walked to her sister and wrapped her right arm around her, pulling her sister into her chest. “It’s okay, Sam. I’m here for you.”

Tara gently rubbed Sam’s back as she comforted her sister, not knowing what to say to improve it.

After a few minutes, Sam’s cries turned into soft sniffles as she pulled away from her sister. “I take it you didn’t talk to her?” Tara weakly asked. “Nope,” Sam replied with a small laugh, “I guess I deserve this, don’t I?”

“No, you don’t. Well, I mean kind of. You did break it off with her, but still, you deserve love,” Tara commented as she tried her best to comfort Sam but still gave her the hard truth. Sam lightly laughed at Tara’s words while wiping away her tears.

“My entire life, I have been told that I’m destined to be alone, that no one will ever love. My own fucking mother told me that I was unlovable, and I believe her. So when I fell for Y/N, I broke her heart to try and save mine, but it killed me. The only thing I want to do is run to her and tell her that I love her, but I can’t do that because she found someone else, someone who will treat her better than I ever have, and she will give her a better life than I ever will. I pushed away the only person who has ever loved me because I was too much of a coward to say, ‘I love you,’” Sam admitted in a broken voice, and Tara felt her heart break for her sister.

A few beats of silence passed before Sam spoke, “Do you know who she’s going out with?” She knew she would only get hurt by asking, but she needed to know if you had found someone better than her, praying that you did just so she had the final confirmation that you didn’t need her, even though she needed you.

“Sam,” Tara quietly said, afraid to tell Sam the truth, but her sister's look told her that Sam needed to know or else she would not sleep. “The girl’s name is Ashley, and they met at college. They are both in pre-med together.”

The look on Sam’s face was comical; her expression was pure relief even though her eyes told the opposite story and were full of guilt, regret, and longing. “Good. Good,” Sam muttered with a voice full of confidence, “I’m happy for her.”

Tara nodded at her sister’s words, having no idea what to say to make the situation better for Sam. “I guess so. Are you ready to come inside?” Tara asked.

“No, not yet. I just want to be left alone,” Sam replied with a weak smile.

The younger sister nodded at Sam’s words and kissed Sam’s head as she stood up, “Okay, just please let me know if you need anything.”

“I will,” Sam said as she watched Tara walk away.

The sound of crickets chirping filled the backyard, and as soon as Tara walked inside, he walked out from the shadows.

Sam said nothing as Billy slowly approached her and sat beside her. “Well, looks like you’re on your own, kid. You always have been, though,” Billy remarked.

“What do you want?” Sam defeatedly asked as she looked up at her father. “I want you to suck it up and stop being a little bitch!” Billy exclaimed, clearly angry with his daughter for letting you go.

A small, dry chuckle left Sam’s lips as she exited the table. “Hey, where are you going?” Billy asked as he also got up and followed Sam to the door. “Inside,” Sam replied before she opened the door and closed it on him.

“You know you can’t outrun me, right?” Billy asked as he magically appeared in the living room, right next to Tara. Sam tried her best to hold her tongue as she watched Billy stare at her younger sister.

“Hey, I’m going to go home. Are you fine with staying here, or do you want to come with me?” Sam asked Tara as she ignored her father.

“I’m fine with staying here, but are you sure you want to be alone?” Tara asked, utterly oblivious to the fake man staring at her.

“Yeah, I’m good. I’ll text you when I get home, though, okay?” Sam said as she walked through Billy and gave Tara a quick hug. “Okay, just be safe,” Tara replied once she pulled away from Sam’s embrace.

Sam said her goodbyes to the rest of the group as she left the house and drove home, with Billy sitting in the passenger seat. He talked the entire way to her apartment, and when Sam turned up the radio to tune him out, he only spoke louder.

When Sam got home, she quickly got inside her apartment and locked the door before going to her room. She took a hot shower while listening to her father’s rant from outside the shower.

He was currently going on about God knows what, but it was driving Sam insane. No matter what she did, she couldn’t get him to stop talking.

Sam finished her shower and dressed as her father’s voice still filled her head, but she finally had enough when he said, “You know, you honestly suck at being a gay person.”

“Whatever,” Sam dryly replied as she left her bathroom and climbed onto her bed, with Billy in the corner of the room sitting in a chair. “I’m not saying that to be mean, but you honestly do. You should be fighting for your woman, not letting some bitch named Ashley fuck her instead.”

At the mention of you being intimate with someone else, Sam couldn’t take it anymore and grabbed her phone and got off her bed.

No drug could ever work as good as you did; she had tried them all, and nothing worked, nothing except you. She needed you more than anything right now, and she had pushed you away because she was scared to feel something that was real. So, she did the only thing she could think about: she called you.

She didn’t care if you screamed at her for breaking your heart; all she needed was your voice to help keep Billy away. She could handle you hating her because that meant you still thought of her. She could not take you being indifferent about her, not being on your mind at all, while you ran laps around her brain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m glad you agreed to go on this date with me,” Ashley informed as you walked into the restaurant together. She was wearing a tight green cocktail dress that showed a decent amount of her cleavage, and you respected her attempt to pull your eye.

“I’m thankful for the invite,” you replied with an honest smile as you held the door open for her. You were glad to be going to dinner with someone new, even if the restaurant was too fancy for your taste.

The restaurant was lined with fancy and expensive wines, and marble statues stood in the room's corners as you followed a waiter to your seat.

The table was already set up for two with a small candle in the middle, and you bit back a laugh at the shitty attempt to make this a romantic dinner.

You sat across from Ashley as she took her napkin and placed it on her lap, and you copied her actions.

“Hello, you two lovely ladies. My name is Cole, and I will be your waiter for the night,” a primarily built man stated as he approached your table, “What can I get you ladies to drink?”

“I’ll have water, please,” you quietly said, and Ashley repeated your words. When Cole walked off to grab your beverages, Ashley spoke with you.

Honestly, you felt terrible for not paying attention, but you seriously didn’t want to hear her talk about her rich daddy and the summer home she was staying at this weekend. You were halfway paying attention when you saw a woman in the corner of your eye.

You didn’t see her face; you only saw her jet-black hair and how she carried herself, screamed Sam.

“Sam?” You quietly muttered as your eyes followed the woman, praying she was here to save you. But when the woman turned around, she wasn’t your Sam.

“Sam? Who’s Sam?” Ashley asked as she studied your face. She picked up on how you wished this mysterious woman was here, and she hated the idea of another woman being on your mind.

You turned your attention back to your ‘date.’ “Oh, she’s no one, just someone I used to know,” you said with a fake smile.

Ashley just nodded her hair as she twirled her hair around her finger. “Okay, thank god. For a second, I thought you were talking about that Sam Loomis chick,” Ashley replied with a laugh.

“Carpenter,” you stated through a clenched jaw as your hand balled into a fist.

“What?” Ashley asked, pretending to play stupid. The smile on her face aggravated you for some unknown reason, and all you wanted to do was punch her for insulting your soulmate.

“Her name is Sam Carpenter, not Loomis,” you replied in the same stern voice.

“Well, whatever her name is, she’s that psycho bitch that killed a bunch of her friends and even her sister! Can you believe that?” Ashley asked with far too much excitement in her voice.

“No, I can’t. Because she didn’t do that, and her sister is still alive,” you replied with slight irritation. Your anger increased the longer you stayed with Ashley, and you desperately needed to get away from the girl.

Ashley scoffed at your words, “Oh, yeah? How do you know that then? Are you secretly in on the murders, too?”

“No, I just think it’s wrong to judge someone based on some bullshit rumors on Reddit.”

“You’re pathetic, you know that?” Ashley randomly stated as hate overtook her once peaceful eyes, “You’re so fucking pathetic that you can’t believe the facts and evidence that prove that Sam Carpenter is a murderer!”

A dry laugh left your lips as you shook your head back and forth. You had a mischievous smile as you clenched and unclenched your hands, trying your best to keep cool.

You were getting ready to defend Sam’s name when your phone went off, and your heart filled with joy as you read the name.

Never in a million years did you expect Sam to call you, but now, as her name flashed across your screen right before you were getting ready to go jail for assault and battery, you excused yourself as you walked out for the restaurant and answered your phone.

“Sam?” You whispered into the phone, praying you could finally return to your home. You listened to Sam’s shaky breathing on the other end, and you knew you needed to get to her as soon as possible. “Y/N,” Sam replied tremblingly, and you could sense her teary eyes, “I miss my home.”

Your lip quivered at Sam’s broken voice, and a tear fell down your cheek as you said weakly, “I’m leaving now.”

“Please hurry. I need you,” Sam whispered into the phone, trying her best to fight back her tears and Billy’s voice. He had gotten so loud that she couldn’t even hear herself think, and it was becoming too much.

“I will, my love,” you replied as you hung up the phone and returned to your table.

“I’m so sorry, but an emergency has come up, and I need to leave,” you quickly said as you frantically grabbed your keys and wallet. “Here’s a twenty to cover my food; I am sorry about this,” you said as you practically ran out of the restaurant and toward your car, giving Ashley zero time to take in the situation.

You unlocked your car, turned it on, and peeled off towards Sam’s house, and you couldn’t help but laugh when you heard the angelic voice of Lana Del Rey fill the car.

I got my mind on you

Say yes to heaven

Say yes to me

Say yes to heaven

Say yes to me

I’ve got my eye on you

The ironic lyrics caused you to start laughing as you thought back to the beginning of your relationship with Sam.

Ever since you first met the woman, you had your mind on her all hours of the day, even before you got romantically involved with her. You felt like you would wait a lifetime for Sam to say yes to you, and it seemed your eye never left her.

When you parked your car outside Sam’s apartment, you ran as fast as you could up the stairs and knocked rapidly on the door. You didn’t even have time to catch your breath before Sam flung the door open and grabbed your neck, pulling your lips to hers. You kissed her back, and you finally felt yourself returning to your home, to your Sam.

And for the first time in weeks, Sam finally felt her father’s voice disappear as she returned home.

“You came,” Sam breathlessly mumbled against your lips. “You called,” you replied while pulling back to look at your woman. You noticed her bloodshot eyes and dried tear stains on her cheeks and felt your heartbreak. This wasn’t the cold-hearted Sam Carpenter the media portrayed; this was the real Sam Carpenter, scared to be vulnerable and loved but needed to be loved by you. This was the Sam who yearned for your heart with every fiber of her being and who would die for you. She was your soulmate, your home, and if you were lucky enough, maybe even your wife one day.

“What happened, Sam?” You quickly asked while rubbing Sam’s cheek with your thumb. The older woman shook her head as her lip quivered, and a tear fell. You wiped it away and placed a quick kiss where it had ended. “I don’t want to talk about it,” Sam admitted with an embarrassed tone, “I just need you here with me.”

“Okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,” you replied lovingly, and Sam felt nothing but guilt for pushing you away.

Sam grabbed your hand and pulled you into her apartment, shut and locked the door before pulling you into her room. Sam shut the door as she looked through her closet and pulled out some of your clothes.

“I’ve been looking for this,” you quietly said as you reached into Sam’s closet and ran your fingers over your favorite hoodie. A slight frown pulled at Sam’s lips, “Oh. You can have that back,” she muttered as she handed you one of your shirts and a pair of shorts to change into.

“Sam, I don’t want it back. I want you to keep it; I was just stressing over where I put it last,” you replied with a smile as you studied Sam. You noticed how she had her hands hidden again, and the stress lines were more transparent; you knew Billy was bothering her again. You stripped in front of Sam, and for some unknown reason, she turned her head and gave you some privacy.

“What? It’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” you joked with a playful smile as you finished changing into comfier clothes, and Sam huffed at your words.

You gave Sam a quick kiss before you walked off into the kitchen with the woman right on your heels. You put some water in a kettle and set it on the stove to boil as you searched for some cocoa mix while Sam studied your actions.

Whenever she saw Billy, you would always make her some hot cocoa and turn on a movie you knew she loved, just to add some extra comfort. The feeling that Sam felt in her chest as she watched you grab the mix and make her a cup once the water was done boiling was something she couldn’t describe. She felt her chest flutter, and her heart beat increased when she saw that smile you reserved for only her.

“What?” You asked with that same smile, and Sam couldn’t keep it to herself anymore; she had to tell you, or it would continue to eat at her.

“I love you.”

You felt your heart explode at Sam’s confession, and you tried your best to keep your emotions in line as she continued talking.

“I love you so much, Y/N. I always have; I’ve just been too scared to admit it. I love you so much that the only way I thought I could love you was by pushing you away, but that destroyed both of us. Whenever I look at you, all I see is my future, and I want to have that with you: a future. But only if you want me, only if you accept me,” Sam admitted with tears in her eyes, hoping you understood what she meant by future: a wife.

Your bottom lip quivered as you approached Sam and gently cupped her cheeks before pulling her into the softest, most loving kiss you two had ever shared, and Sam knew you understood her double meaning.

“I want you to be my future,” you stated against Sam’s lips as your thumb traced her cheekbone before kissing her lips once before, “But finish up your cocoa.” Sam chuckled before kissing your lips to comfort her, before pulling away and picking up her mug.

You talked with Sam about how your lives had been since the split, and you found it ironic that both of your lives had turned downhill. You would occasionally throw tiny marshmallows at Sam and would scold you before putting some in her drink, but she cherished seeing the playful side of you.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” Sam randomly cut you off as you were talking about your schoolwork. You looked at the woman, whose eyes refused to meet yours as she stared at her mug.

You walked over to Sam and gently placed your left hand on her back, and she turned to face you. You cupped her cheek with your right hand and pulled her into a loving kiss, and she sighed against your lips before kissing you back.

“I would love to be your girlfriend,” you said once the kiss had ended, and you ignored the way Sam took in a deep breath as if she was surprised you said yes.

“Okay. Good,” Sam replied while pulling away for you, and her heart melted when she saw the giant smile on your lips before a puzzled look appeared on your face.

“What’s this?” You playfully asked as you reached up toward Sam’s face and quickly pulled out a hair.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Sam exclaimed while you held the hair close to her eyes and scoffed at you; it was a single grey hair.

“I call that one ‘Tara,’” Sam remarked as she took it out of your hand and threw it in the trash can, “I appreciate the hot cocoa, but can we please go to bed?”

“Of course,” you replied, smiling as you followed Sam into her room and shut the door. Sam threw back the covers on her bed and climbed in, opening her arms for you to join her.

With a giant smile, you got in bed next to Sam and cuddled up to her chest, and you both finally felt at home when Sam wrapped her arms around you and placed a loving kiss on your head. Telling you that she wasn’t going anywhere.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tara let out a small groan as she twisted and turned in bed before fumbling for her phone and checking the time: 3:33 a.m. She groaned as she rose from the bed, and her tiny bare feet patted against the flooring as she walked into the kitchen. Tara grabbed a bottle of water before approaching Sam’s door, but she stopped her hand from knocking.

The girl heard muffled voices inside, and she heard Sam talking to someone, “You know you don’t have to leave, right?” The stranger sighed at Sam’s words as they approached the closed door, “I know, but I'm already in the dog house with Gale, and if I’m not back in her apartment in the morning, she’ll have my head.” Somehow, Tara recognized that voice, and she knew that she should know who it was, but she couldn’t put a name to the face.

When Tara heard a hand land on the door, she flew into the living room and hid beside the couch as the door opened.

Sam and the stranger walked to the door together, and a giant smile grew on Tara’s face when she saw that it was you. With a small sigh, Sam smiled at you, “Okay, just please text me back when you get home, okay?”

“I always do,” you joked with a giant grin as you leaned in and kissed Sam, and you felt your heart explode when she kissed you back. “I love you,” Sam admitted against your lips before you opened the door and turned to face her.

“I love you too, Sam. More than you will ever know,” you replied as you placed a final quick kiss on Sam’s lips before leaving.

Sam closed and locked the door and jumped when she saw Tara standing before her with a creepy grin and straight stance. “Jesus Christ, you’re creepy as fuck,” Sam stated as she walked to her room with Tara on her heels.

“What was that?” Tara asked while making a sour face when she walked into Sam’s room and breathed in the air that reeked of sex, “Air out your room, oh my god.”

The older sister scoffed at Tara’s words as she removed the sheets from her bed and threw them into a laundry basket. “I was hanging out with Y/N. Why?” Sam asked while putting on fresh sheets and properly making her bed. “‘Hanging out,’ my ass! You two were fucking!” Tara exclaimed.

“Yes, we were. And don’t act surprised; you were the one who told me to go after her,” Sam replied as she walked into her bathroom and brushed her teeth, getting ready for bed. It’s been almost a month since you officially started dating, and you both couldn’t be happier.

“I know that, but I thought you two would have a bit more decency than this,” Tara scuffed.

Sam spat out the toothpaste and rinsed her mouth before returning to her bedroom. “Don’t judge me for what I do with my girlfriend, Tara,” Sam replied while getting into bed and plugging up her phone.

“How long have you two been dating?” Tara asked, almost hurt that Sam didn’t tell her. “It will be a month next Wednesday,” Sam replied while staring at her sister, “Do you need anything, or are you just here to make fun of me?”

“Well, I was here to ask if I could sleep in here with you tonight, but I’m going back to my room. Because it doesn’t smell like sex!” Tara exclaimed as she left Sam’s room and shut the door.

Sam chuckled at her sister’s reaction before she received a text message.

Y/N <3: Just got home, and I already miss you

Sammy 😼: You’ll see me in the morning time, Y/N. And I miss you too. Goodnight, my love.

Y/N <3: Goodnight, Sammy. I love you

Sammy 😼: I love you too.

Sam smiled as she texted you back and put her phone on her nightstand before lying down for the night. No words could describe her love for you, and she couldn’t wait to start her future with you.

You couldn’t help it when your heart grew ten times as you reread the text message. Sam loved you, and you loved her, and you went to bed with one thought on your mind: She finally said yes to heaven.

#sam carpenter #scream #sam carpenter x reader #melissa barrera #sam carpenter x female reader #sam carpenter x y/n #sam carpenter x you #sam carpenter smut #spotify

985 notes · View notes

nakahras · 3 months

Text

᯽ fireworks • chuuya nakahara

synopsis • it’s the first time seeing chuuya after meursault. he left without a word and came back without a word. alternatively, the first time you tell chuuya you love him.

warnings • lower case is intentional, depictions of overstimulation/anxiety/panic attack, cursing, reader has an ability (description below), and fem!reader

wc • 2.8k

a/n • chuuya fluff my beloved <3

᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽

ability • ravalry: allows its user to read the thoughts of someone through their emotions. the user can also push thoughts onto a target as well as emotions. this can cause the target to experience hallucinations both visual and auditory. it can also cause the target to feel certain emotions against their own will. the user, if not careful, can become overwhelmed by others’ thoughts and emotions themself.

᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽

you watch as the night sky ignites into every color under the rainbow. the firework show from tonight’s festivities had been going on for almost 15 minutes now. almost all of the ada members had decided to participate. hell, even dazai caved and dressed in his best traditional clothes at the request - begging really - of atsushi. but even dazai’s participation couldn’t convince you to stay.

crowds had never agreed with you. they were noisy and it always felt suffocating. but there wasn’t a lack of effort, thanks to atsushi and dazai’s puppy dog eyes. it was comical considering those two boys are the most cat coded people you have ever met in your life. atsushi being a literal tiger at times. but unfortunately you only lasted a total of 67 minutes before your ability made everything extremely overwhelming.

even under fukuzawa’s “all men are created equal” you had a bad habit of subconsciously activating your ability and becoming far too overwhelmed by everyone else's thoughts to turn it off. dazai was able to stay back with you and use his own ability to calm you down. you were obviously grateful but you didn’t want to keep pulling him to you every time it happened.

᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽

“do i get a reward for helping out my fellow ada member?” dazai’s voice was as light as ever, obviously he had been trying to make light of your situation.

this was the first time in a long time he had come out with everyone, the first time he came out since meursault, which was also a reminder that you still hadn’t heard from a certain gravity manipulator since arriving back in yokohama. you didn’t want to ruin the fun for everyone just because of your heightened emotions and constant loss of control. it wasn’t fair to anyone, most of all dazai.

you smiled meekly at the brunette. you could see it in the way his eyes dulled, that he’d already known what you were about to say, you said it anyway. “how about i reward you with the rest of the night off? i’m not cut out for these crowds. think i’m just gonna head to the empty pier and watch the fireworks from there.”

you started to back away but dazai persistently followed. “c’mon, you can’t possibly be upset over that shr-“

“dazai.” you’d promptly cut him off, not wanting to admit to yourself, let alone dazai that you were upset. especially considering the reason.

dazai throws his hands up in surrender with a wicked smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes — although, dazai’s smiles almost never did. you’re unamused and frankly tired, so your own mask had cracks in it. dazai, ever the observant, immediately drops the cheery facade and mumbles something under his breath.

something along the lines of, “that damn slug, ruining everything by running late…” you choose to ignore the cryptic way dazai says that and instead waved.

“tell everyone i said to have a good night.”

and with that you left. not even giving dazai a chance to respond as you had already turned to leave mid sentence.

᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽•᯽

that’s how you find yourself here, sitting at the edge of the pier, knees tucked snugly into your chest as you lay your cheek on them to look up at the sky. your mind was a storm of noise but luckily the fireworks were louder. that didn’t stop you from feeling a very prominent presence approaching.

you tense, instantly recognizing his presence. it takes every ounce of self control you have to keep your head in place and not look his way. your arms tighten around your legs and it’s the only indication you give him that you’re aware he’s there. you can feel his stare, his eyes bore into the back of your head, it felt as if he continued to stare he would start to make a dent in your skull.

still, you continue to look forward and ignore his presence. the noise from the fireworks may be deafening but you’re so honed in on the redhead behind you his defeated sigh is hard to miss. he tentatively shuffles his way next to you and remains standing. you vaguely notice from your peripheral, that he isn’t in his usual dark clothing. instead you note flashes of red, gold and white. your eyebrows furrow. was he wearing a haori? which means he must be wearing a montsuki haori hakama? he never wore traditional clothing. you were itching to look over at how gorgeous he must look but resist the urge yet again.

you continue to refuse to acknowledge his presence.

another sigh.

more silence on your end.

this time he clicks his tongue, but it’s more in defeat rather than annoyance. “that damn mackerel texted me. told me he couldn’t do the one simple task i asked of him. last time i ask him for anything…” the last part of his sentence broke on into a grumble, obviously thinking out loud more than talking to you.

there’s still no verbal response from you, although your face does twist into a scowl. so that’s what dazai meant earlier. chuuya was supposed to meet you all at the festival. to what? surprise you? you didn’t want to wait for a surprise. he knew how much you loathed surprises. you just wanted him back. you wanted to confirm for yourself that he was safe.

the port mafia executive is observing you. he watches as shadows of colors provided by the fireworks dance across your face, causing you to look 10x more strikingly beautiful than you already do. you’re quite literally the most stunning thing chuuya has ever laid his eyes on. he wants to tell you so. he wants to gush over how much he missed you. he wants to hold you. but he needs you to acknowledge him first and he knows you have an opinion about meursault that you deserve to voice. the problem lies in getting you to open yourself up. next to being the most stunning, you’re also the most stubborn person he has ever met. he has his work cut out for him.

“i was gonna surprise you at the festival…” of course he was, you almost scoff at the predictability of it all.

another sigh escapes chuuya’s lips when once again he doesn’t get a response. he knows he shouldn’t poke at you. but at this point he doesn’t know how else he could elicit a reaction. he ponders on it for a moment, nervously gnawing at his bottom lip. this could get you to open up but it could also make you more upset. he makes his decision and takes in a deep breath.

“i wanted to surprise you. i thought about you a lot while i was gone. the thought of coming back to you was about the only thing that kept me sane while having to deal with that damn dazai.” his last words come out bitter, as if he truly had been suffering.

you try to keep face. gritting your teeth and sinking your nails into the palm of your hands. but the cracks in your mask were already too far gone, it snaps completely off. your head swiftly lifts and turns to finally look at him.

and god how unfair. it’s so incredibly unfair how handsome he sincerely looks. his face isn’t covered by his hat and hair is tied by an ornamental string. the reds and greens and golds of his outfit really bring out the duel colors of his eyes. even frowning like he is, he is still a shining star in a sky full of clouds.

you have to remind yourself to keep your resolve as you scowl at the redhead. unbeknownst to you, chuuya is having a very similar crisis. you look like the most priceless treasure on this god forsaken planet. the gold hair ornament you wear frames your face perfectly. the colors of your traditional wear compliments your skin tone perfectly. even your makeup, which subtly matches your outfit, is perfect. you are perfect.

your sour expression is what brings him back to reality.

you let out an appalled scoff. “you thought of me? i find that hard to believe considering you made the decision to go along with dazai’s plan without warning. do you know how messed up i was? thinking you could be dead upon hearing you had been turned into a vampire. i thought i was never going to see you again because you didn’t tell me- i didn’t know. and then when you do return i don’t hear a single thing from you? not even a text saying ‘hey, shit is crazy at the port mafia but i will see you as soon as i can. just wanted to let you know i was safe.’ i would have been happy with that, chuuya.”

he flinches at how harsh his name sounds coming from your mouth. like you had to physically force it out. you never called him by his name. it was always a pet name of some sort. it was truly heart wrenching that he had pushed you to this point. it was never his intention. with everything going on he didn’t realize that maybe he should have communicated dazai’s plan with you, but he can’t change that now. what he needs to focus on is fixing his mistake. so, he listens to you and let’s you get it all out.

“...instead you continued to leave me in the dark. i had to continue on like i wasn’t a wreck, not knowing where you were. do you know how many times i imagined you were just dead somewhere in a foreign prison? too many times to count on my hands. dazai-” you choke, not having realized that you had started to cry. you swallow thickly and continue. “dazai had to constantly be on watch because i would lose control of my ability over the smallest of things. despite being exhausted, i refused to bring myself to imagine a world without you in it. no matter how much i was spiraling, it jus wasn’t something i could bear the thought of because-”

you’re cut off again, this time by a sob that you can feel throughout your entire body. you choke again, feeling like you can’t breathe. your eyes unfocus, your hearing goes fuzzy and your limbs begin to feel numb and tingly. in your panicked haze you briefly note that you’re reaching out and latch onto some sort of soft material. the colors igniting the night sky become overwhelming so you squeeze your eyes shut. you wish you could drown out the booming noises created by the fireworks. it’s all too much, it’s been too much. your ears are ringing and your hands are trembling. the emotions swirling inside of you begging to be let out but you hold them in, not wanting chuuya to be affected. you’re nauseous, you feel as though you could throw up at any moment.

chuuya knew you got like this, he’s heard dazai recount the times this ability has caused you to overwhelm yourself and initiate a panic attack. your grip on his haori was unexpected until he saw the sheer trepidation swimming in your glistening eyes. his body reacts before his mind can and he’s scooping you into his arms. chuuya softly cradles your head, gently resting your forehead against the side of his chest where his heart lays. he’d seen somewhere that the sound of a heartbeat could calm this sort of episode. he also coos and and speaks soft words of reassurance.

it’s absurd how calming just his presence is to you, even when you’re this irate with him. you need to regulate your breathing. fast. the ringing in your ears has subsided and the thrumming of chuuya’s heart pulls you in. hyper focusing on his heartbeat helps calm you further and your breathing slows back to normal. your face is still buried in his chest and your hands are fisting his kimono. your grip loosens, signaling that you’re better. but you burrow your face further into the gravity manipulator's chest. he lets out a deep chuckle that sends vibrations through your entire head. it helps clear the fog that has built up in your head.

you utter those three words you’d been holding in since before he left. it’s like you had finally broken the dam within your heart and this was the result. now that the water has settled you have one last thing to do. but because you were so close to his chest the words came out muffled and unintelligible.

“my pretty doll, i can’t understand you when your face is covered like that. c’mere…” chuuya lets out another chuckle as you whine and pout dramatically when he peels you off of him. your face is puffy and eyes rimmed red. somehow your makeup managed to stay completely intact, you’ll have to remember to ask naomi what she used.

you huff and try to look away but he gently, yet firmly, takes hold of your face to gingerly wipe away at your tears. once he’s pleased with his work his eyes meet yours and he smiles softly. “now, what was it you were trying to say? i think i should be able to here you clearly this time.”

and something about the way he says that makes you think he actually heard it the first time and just simply wanted to hear you say it again. you turn your nose up at him and eye him suspiciously. “no. i don’t think i will…”

chuuya sighs incredulously and lets go of your face. he slumps down and rests his forehead on your shoulder. instinctively you raise your hand and sift your fingers through his wavy tresses. his hair is always surprisingly soft. you can help but to smile amusedly at his obvious defeat. you look back up to the fireworks that were still going. they must be nearing the finale because the amount of colors dancing in the sky have multiplied.

“stubborn as hell like always. i shouldn’t be surprised.” chuuya lifts his head back up and cups your cheek to turn you back to look at him. “you technically said it first, but i’ll let you hear it first. i love you.”

your lips part to respond but you find yourself mesmerized by the chuuya’s eyes. the reflection of colors swirling in his irises make it look like an actual fire has been ignited underneath them. your bottom lip begins to tremble as you feel yourself become overwhelmed by the feelings his words elicit. this time it was in the best way possible but it still made you embarrassed. you take in a shuddered breath and pout more. “god damn you, chuuya nakahara.”

with that utterance, you lean in and your lips meet his. you pour everything you have into that one kiss, hoping it explains your feelings better than any words you could ever string together would. luckily for you, chuuya has always been a firm believer of actions speak louder than words. he understands what you’re trying to convey and he reciprocates by grasping the back of your head and tilting his to deepen the kiss.

it felt as if you were falling into an abyss that consisted of only chuuya. your brain was simultaneously working in overdrive and malfunctioning all at once. the only thing in your head was chuuya.

it was only chuuya:

chuuya’s velvety hair

chuuya’s blazing warmth

chuuya’s soft lips

chuuya’s heavenly scent

chuuya’s gentle touches

chuuya.

then he chuckles against your lips and, god, you could just melt.

much to your dismay, chuuya goes and ruins it by leaning back and disconnecting your lips. you make a noise of protest but he keeps you firmly where you are. your eyes are lidded and breathing is heavy. he could sense how overwhelmed you were once again becoming. he gives you a few moments to fully cone back to him before speaking again.

you open your mouth to say it again but he interrupts. “you don’t have to, i understood you the first time.”

your mouth slowly shuts and you lean your head back on his chest, ear pressed against his beating heart. you both look up, hoping to enjoy the rest of the fireworks together.

“i’m still upset and this conversation isn’t over, but…” you trail off as the finale begins. after another moment you continue as you watched the colors multiply once again. “let’s just enjoy this. i missed you.”

his grip around you tightens. you look over to him and he’s smiling brightly at you. “i missed you, so damn much. we can go back to my place after this and talk over a bottle. how’s that sound?”

you look back to the sky with a smile playing on your lips. “sounds like heaven.”

#chuuya x reader #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #chuuya x you #bsd x you #chuuya x fem!reader #fem!reader #᯽. éli originals

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behindthesoul · 5 months

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I’m Sorry

Masterlist

Summary - random moments where the characters say they’re sorry

Characters - Johnny Cage, General Shao, Kung Lao

Warnings - not proofread, injuries (Shao), food mentions (Kung Lao), not my highest quality work

——

Johnny Cage

You huffed as you heard your phone buzz for the third time in a minute. There’s no use in looking at the screen, it’s obvious what the message is and who it’s from. Johnny had royally pissed you off earlier in the day; all you wanted was a little space.

Your phone buzzes twice more and it annoyed you to no end. You grabbed your phone with the intention of silencing it, but you couldn’t help but read the most recent notifications.

> Babe im sorry

> Open the door please

As if on cue, you hear a few sharp knocks on the door. It catches you off guard. Part of you wants to ignore him, but you’d feel bad if you left him out there all night. Sighing, you stand up and walk to the front door.

You open it to see your boyfriend holding a comically large teddy bear with the words I LOVE YOU BEARY MUCH stitched into its chest. The bear’s large head almost blocks Johnny from your view and you try not to laugh at the sight.

He holds the bear out to you, a weight falling off his shoulders once he sees you grab it. Johnny looks at you relived, his face is slightly more worried than usual.

“I fucked up, and I’m sorry,” he states. He’s ready to say more, but you stop him.

“I know.”

General Shao

You wince as you try to stand; the ache in your ribs restricting movement. A crowd of soldiers surround you and ask if you are alright. Obviously not, you say to yourself, idiots.

Suddenly you hear loud footsteps coming in your direction. The soldiers turn their attention from you to the sound. Another attempt to stand is in vain, making you groan. The crowd makes way for your husband as he stares down at you. His face twists into a scowl and his eyes snap to the soldiers surrounding you.

“Which one of you fools did this? I will feed your rotting corpse to the worms!”

You wave your hand as to shoo away the negative thoughts in his mind. “No matter - just help me,” you choke out. Shao rushes over to take you in his arms, giving one last threatening glance to his soldiers before taking you to the infirmary.

The General prefers to take care of your wounds, and you prefer to take care of his. It’s not uncommon for him to sit in the infirmary for hours and not letting anyone touch him because no one tends to his wounds like you do. He sits you on a table and assesses your injury. Shao grumbles as his fingers dance across the purple and green splotches on your skin.

“It seems to be nothing more than an ugly bruise,” he states. “Still, I will have the head of the unruly man who thought it wise to lay a finger on you.”

“It was my mistake for not blocking the attack, Shao.”

“It was theirs for touching the General’s spouse.” His voice is firm and it signals he wants the conversation to end. Shao will never say the words, but you can tell his string of curses and threats directly translate to I’m sorry, I should’ve been there. He stands, battle axe in hand. “I will handle this. You stay and rest.”

And with that, he’s out the door.

Kung Lao

The rush of being one of Liu Kang’s champions was exhilarating, though the reality of the situation set in quickly. You spent hours training before spending hours more sitting through the monk’s lessons about the difference realms. At the end of the day you dragged your sore body to bed. You rarely spent time with your boyfriend.

Which is why you were so happy to finally to have a break. Kung Lao had asked you to eat lunch with him, and you quickly accepted. You spot him sitting under a tree and you make your way over to him. He gives you a small kiss when you sit down.

You zone out for a few moments before you hear Kung Lao eat, reminding you why you’re here. You grab a sandwich and start eating.

Normally, you and Lao fill the air with laughter. Today is different, the two of you are comfortable with sitting in silence. You missed this; the first bit of normality you’ve both had in weeks.

You eat slower than usual, too occupied in the random thoughts floating around in your mind. Kung Lao notices this and decides to take advantage. He grabs your sandwich and eats the last of it in one bite. You look at him, stunned.

“Why did you do that?!” You laugh. “It’s obvious I was still eating!”

Kung Lao shrugs, his lips curling into a smirk. “Sorry, you should’ve ate faster.”

You playfully hit his shoulder and he laughs before feigning pain. “You owe me another sandwich, y’know.”

“Great, I’ll eat that one too.”

#mortal kombat fanfiction #mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat fanfic #kung lao x reader #johnny cage x reader #shao kahn x reader #general shao x reader

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mintacle · 8 months

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My hot take is that the same people who call Jason copaganda, pr-gunviolence or etc are from the same vein as people who blame schoolshootings on videogame violence, who blamed crime on Metal and satanism.

Instead of taking a critical look at a system within which a symptom of a problem is making itself known, you look if there is an outside influence, a kind of "virus" that you can blame for making it "sick".

DC comics are a little fucked up. That's the agreement you entered when reading them. All characters are inconsistent and sometimes in the wrong. Jason is a Bat, so at least it feels like he's maybe substantial enough to blame for the whole batclans issues, in a way that Helena Bertinelli (for example) can't be, because she is less closely tied and has less appearances. Congratulations, you have an identified patient! Jason is the problem that is rippling out and causing all these nasty and unsatisfied feelings the readers have about how crime is handled in these comics.

We see crime being fought in imperfect ways and our current cultural consciousness goes off with warning bells to identify the problem. But what you were taught was to identify what outside influence happens to be present and connecting the issue, and how to justify that all evil stems from this malignant influence. So surely if we could just remove this bad thing, we could go back to the wonderful world we knew where everything was ok.

That world never existed. The thing we are nostalgic for, is the world before we became aware of it's flaws. The problem has always been there, has always been an integrated part of this whole you used to love and admire.

But because the kind of people blaming Jason for "copaganda" do genuinely and truly come from a good place of wanting social justice (I'm saying you are good people. I disagree and think you are making a logical error, but we do care about and want the same thing. Good People) because you come here with the right intentions, you use the buzzwords of copaganda. Or gunviolence. You know from what you have heard that the issue is systematic, but you are struggling to find what that system equivalent is in DC comics. You are falling victim to the fallacy of assuming a main narrative perspective. Just as irl cops are hard to identify as the problem bc you might have to first struggle through the cognitive dissonance that your old worldview of good cops was wrong (so so wrong), you experience cognitive dissonance if trying to read comics with someone like Batman being wrong and flawed.

Looking beyond any superficial similarities to cops Jason is called out for (uses a gun, kills, enforcing his vision of justice) he really doesn't have much more similarities. He isn't a figure of authority, he lacks the nigh god-given justification to do whatever he wants whatever the outcome and is questioned at every turn. Just the sheer instances of Batman or another Bat showing up to beat Jason up and lecture him on what he does.

Extending this, he does not have the pervasive and persuasive power to shape a narrative. Jason's narrative is so far out of his hands. Which has been a core truth about him since for ever. From his maleable origin story, to his death, the years of him being gone and having No Voice Whatsoever, his resurrection in utrh showing him trying, struggling to have a voice against Bruce's story and being drowned out and denied his perspective, the inconsistency of his character after, each writer trying to shape him into something. Now cops fucking have a narrative. Their narrative is the main one we are fed. Their violence is structured and oppressive. Jason is neither a structural systemic power, nor is he oppressive of anyone. If you disagree with his violence for the sake of the moral highground of condemning killing.... Then, just, there are other media, you know.

Cop violence is systemic violence. It is violence that is "justified" to the extent it requires no justification. It is above being questioned. I am genuinely willing to hear an argument how Jason is cop-coded. But to me he is the punk resistance based "violence" that is only organized in the anarchical but organical sense of caring to protect the community that surrounds you. He doesn't approach Gotham as a paternalistic force of protection shielding it from above, but as one of them from within, showing up for the people who are suffering the way he has suffered too.

#rambling #this got way too long and inceherent #man I'm just talking #jason todd

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wishuroses · 1 year

Text

.⠀ ݁ ⸜⸜ 𓂃 𓇼 such a sure thing, aonung.

✶ pairings: aonung x sully!reader

✶ warnings: awkward attempt at fluff, apologizing, rivals to friends but there’s something more, reader takes the place of neteyam but is slightly more assertive and even more prone to violence, aonung is a simp in the making and reader is here for a good time not a hard time, uppercase intended!

✶ word count: 1k

✶ na’vi glossary: payoang – fish, skxawng – idiot.

✶ a/n: second fic on this profile! this is a little something i just had rotting in my notes app since like early february, it was more self indulgent at first but since i currently don’t have a single creative bone in my body i’ve decided to feed u guys with whatever this is while i try to rack up more ideas for future fics. happy reading! :-)

“What is going on here?”

You called out with a panicked lilt to your voice, the sand shifting beneath your feet and between your toes as you hurriedly marched towards the commotion.

You’d heard the stern yet desperate voice of your little sister, Kiri, yelling at someone– or maybe more than one– to ‘leave us alone’.

Your voice and Kiri’s did nothing to stop them, however, as the teens continued to poke and prod at your siblings as nothing but wicked laughter and unabashed insults left their mouths.

With a sharp exhale, you stomped up to Aonung and shoved him as hard as your strength could allow you to, which effectively caught him off guard. The braids that frame your face swayed from side to side dramatically, and almost comically so, beads audibly thudding against each other.

You thought about doing more than just shoving him, thinking that maybe full on linebacking him with the intent to injure would’ve definitely been more satisfactory in your taste, but you knew the numerous consequences that would swarm around your head like the annoying flies your father talked to you about.

Aonung stumbled back a few at the force of your push, resulting in everyone shifting their attention towards you. A look of surprise flashed across his face, but was replaced by a sly smirk as quick as it came, more arrogance emitting from him. Despite his nonchalant demeanor, his ears were tucked back against his head, as if he was embarrassed at getting shoved so hard and nearly falling on his ass. As he should be.

“Back off.. Now,” You stepped closer, digging a strong navy blue finger into his sternum. Both of your faces merely inches apart as your big amber eyes peered courageously back into his baby blue ones, stern gaze never once faltering. Such a shame, you thought, that such beautiful eyes belonged to someone so awful.

“And so help me Eywa, if I ever catch you–” You then turned to the rest of his gang, making sure to lock eyes with every single one of them, “or ANY of you lay a finger on my siblings ever again, you all will be down to 2 on each hand. Then we can discuss who the real freak is.” You say carefully, making sure each and every one of them heard your words.

“That is a promise.”

The irritated look in your eyes and the occasional flare of your nostrils assured him that you were dead serious, he had no doubt in his mind you were. The rough, accented edge to your voice made goosebumps rise from his skin. Aonung locked eyes with you once more, pupils dilating as you both gazed into each other’s eyes.

It was then that time seemed to melt between the both of you. A beautiful baby blue swimming in pools of striking amber.

If you weren’t huffing angrily with adrenaline running through your veins, you probably wouldn’t have missed the light dust of pink that bloomed upon his teal cheeks. After a beat of silence, Aonung relaxed and passively looked off to the side, raising his hands in mock surrender.

“Good choice.”

.⠀ ݁ ⸜⸜ 𓂃 ✿̅

It was nearing eclipse, the pinks and oranges of the sunny horizon reflected back into your wide, yet tired eyes. You were laid snug on your stomach by the shore, the foam of the waves kissing your hands as the grains of sand stuck snug against your tummy. The only thing that filled your senses were the waves crashing against the sand, the soft singing wind, and the odd saltiness and humidity that filled the air– which was something you’d barely gotten used to. Nonetheless, it was still comforting.. in a sense.

That was, until, the hairs on the back of your neck stood. You felt a shift in the atmosphere, almost as if someone else were there with you. Cautiously, you peeled your eyes away from the ocean and looked to your right immediately, only to find Aonung standing a great distance from you, not too far yet not too close either.

But it was still a bit too close for your liking.

His questionable behavior gained a look of confusion from you, as you sat up from your previous position to sit on your haunches. “..Hello? What is it?” You say, concerned at his sudden arrival, yet irritated at your alone time being disturbed by some ocean-dwelling creep who couldn’t keep his comments to himself. “If you say some dumb shit to me Aonung I swear–” At the expense of your words, he shuffled closer to your hunched form, sitting beside you at a pace so slow you were so sure he thought you were going to lunge at him.

And honestly? You wouldn’t trust yourself not to.

Aonung was so close that his arm occasionally grazed yours, making goosebumps arise from your skin at the foreign yet oddly calming contact. To your surprise, it didn’t bother you one bit. In an attempt to distract yourself from the extremely awkward encounter, you tediously wiped off the sand that dug into your stomach and thighs.

“Sorry. I have come to.. apologize?”

His revelation earned him a look of surprise, your eyebrows shot up immediately and your back straightened along with them. Your beads thudded together in unison at how quick you looked at him. “Are you asking me, or are you telling me?” You quipped, almost not believing the words that were said to you.

“I am telling you, skxawng.” He shot back quickly, his eyes trailing from the waves to your big ones; the ones that stared back at him, the ones that held so much emotion– yet he couldn’t figure out what they were. With a sigh, he averted his attention, finding the dangly bits of his loincloth to be much more interesting. “I apologize for acting that way towards you and your siblings. I was confused over everything, the sudden arrival of your family, and–as the future Olo’eyktan–protective of my clan, but I had nowhere else to air my feelings. So I took them out.. on all of you... I am so sorry.”

His voice wavered a little at the end of his statement, alarming you a great amount as you’ve never heard him get to this point before. Whether it was from embarrassment or if he was genuinely about to start bawling, you didn’t have a clue.

After a beat of silence, you shuffled closer and placed a gentle four-fingered hand on his back– hoping that your small gesture spoke enough words so that you didn’t have to. You heard his breath hitch a bit, and you hoped you hadn’t crossed any boundaries and made him uncomfortable. That thought was quickly replaced when he hadn’t made any plans to move away or to slap your hand away from him.

With a sigh, you gave a stiff pat to his back, making him look back at you with an expression you couldn’t read even if you tried. The corners of your lips quirked upwards as you locked eyes with him, only to look back at the beautiful view in front of you both. He never looked away from you, though, tracing your delicate features with his eyes.

He wouldn’t admit it aloud–not yet at least– but he thought you were beautiful. Despite you not looking like the Metkayina he was so used to seeing, and barely even your own, you were still pretty in your own weird way.

You weren’t yet ready to forgive him completely, as insults like those were like stones to your heart; but you were sure that amends could be made, and that people can change for the greater good.

“You’re good, payoang..” Your tone was light and airy when you responded, resulting in something weird happening to his poor, poor heart. He’d never heard your voice in a tone as gentle as this, only hearing your rough shouts, sneers, and the occasional threatening.

Aonung chuckled softly at the odd nickname, yet welcomed it nonetheless. He can admit, it was fair game with how many times he’d call you weird names, but this one seemed a bit more intimate.. had a bit more weight to it. “We’re good... but actions speak louder than words. I need you to respect my brother and my sister.”

“If you disrespect them, you disrespect me.”

Aonung nodded so quick you thought he would get a severe case of whiplash. “Yes, yes, I understand.” He was starting to become hyperaware of his surroundings, the hand that was still placed on his back felt like searing hot coal, but he didn’t dare flinch away.

“You are so, so pretty when you don’t threaten my life.” He said breathlessly, as if he was genuinely in awe of you, your appearance, your everything. It caught you off guard, the sudden confession, but the corners of your mouth quivered upwards into a bashful smile as a soft chuckle bubbled from your throat.

You felt shy under his gaze all of a sudden, dipping your chin downwards to look away from him, to get away from those eyes that held such intense emotion.

“Skxawng.”

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factual-fantasy · 2 months

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26 ASKS!! :DD THANK YALL!! 🎉🎂🎉

@ardent-38 @lime-ether @piperjistic @elegysonnet @storylover2 @forestrests

AAAAAA THANK YALL SO MUCH!! :DDD YALL ARE THE BEST!! :}} 💖💖💖

(Sorry I'm a bit late!)

:DD Thank you!! My favorite might be plain vanilla 😋💖

@unpopularartist14

I have definitely heard of it and seen it around. :0 And I got a good taste of it from SMG4s video on it XDD I've thought about watching it in the past. Though hearing about that widely accepted ship.. Ehhh,, I'm not so sure now.. <XD

@sunshine-vr6

@wdillustration

:DD THANK YOU!! :}}}

@badlyblurry (Post in question)

XDD It really has. The poor guy is so conflicted. This really seems like a romantic moment. But surly she's just excited about her new form and doesn't understand the typical boundaries friends have.

Surly someone as beautiful and desirable as Blue.. wouldn't be interested in a old cookie like him.

..Right??

@jesterpiecethejester

They're still on my blog, I never deleted them or anything. You just gotta go to my #undertale tag and scroll down a bit-

@minnesotamedic186 (Post in question)

AWW!! Its might be a bit out of character for Blue, but its still a cute scene!! :DD

@keakruiser (Sorry for replying a bit late!)

:DDD THANK YOU!! I had some giant cookies and cream cupcakes! 😋😋

Huh, suprising!

....now what does Urchin taste like.. 🍴🍪

@edgywithaheart

Ooooo interesting!! :DD Though I wonder if this would change Barnaby and Howdy at all <XDD

GASP!! Nooo not my boy! He would never do a crime. XD

@jenny-the-fox

XD I think I have a couple of OCs that belong there--

(Post in question)

Oh! Thank you for the info! :DD

@candyglumboy (Post in question)

That could be an interpretation of it yeah :00 but to be totally honest, I haven't thought it all through yet..

The intention behind that comic is its showing that Eddie used to be a human. And now he's.. well. He's Eddie.

The comic was trying to show that there was someone he used to know when he was human. His sister? His mother? Someone.. He knew someone. And now that he's in the neighborhood.. she's gone. What happened to her? Who was she? Why do I miss her so much?.. Why.. am I crying? Why am I shaking?

"..What was I talking about.?"

@astaherussy

EATING THIS SCENARIO LIKE GARLIC BREAD FR!!! AAAAA JUST IMAGINE EVERYONE'S REACTIONS!!

I think the 3 of them are no strangers to bloody scenes, but that wouldn't make seeing their Octokids so hurt any easier.. <:(( Now I'm not much of a writer, and idk if this is the kind of response you were expecting.. but none the less you have inspired me! :}}

I can see them offering their services if needed, but mostly just staying out of Peso's way and letting him do his thing. when everything winds down and they're able to see each other.. it would be tough. :((

Kwazii would be in high spirits as always despite the injuries. He would proudly tell Calico Jack about how he was bravely able to fend off multiple sharks! He expected a lot of enthusiasm from his Grandad.. "..Y-Ye did great Kwazii, ye protected yer crew well. I'm real proud of ya for that.." Instead he got a more.. somber response.

With the time Kwazii has spent with the Octonauts, he's gotten a lot better at reading people. Its not hard to tell when someone is shaken. His ears are pinned back, his tail is puffed up and flicking back and fourth.. its clear that Jack isn't taking this sight well.

Kwazii would probably sit up straighter. "Hey,, Grandad I'm.. I'm alright, ye don't need to worry." He'd gently grab Jacks arm, getting his attention. "I'll be alright, this isn't a big deal! Really, I'm ok! It looks a lot worse than it actually is."

Jack might take a deep breath and nod "..I know. I know you'll be alright, lad.." His ears were still pinned back. Kwazii frowns. "..I'm alright now Grandad. This is small, trust me.." Jack would pause.. but then nod. Seeing Kwazii so beaten is hard for Jack to stomach. But Kwazii is one tough cookie.. Just like him. He knows that things will be ok. Kwazii will be ok.. They're both ok..

~~~

When Marsh came in to see Tweak, he almost lost his composure. He knows Tweak is tough. And she's gotten hurt a lot growin up, this ain't nothin she cant handle. But gosh, this hurts. That's his little girl. It hurts so much to see her like this. She's collapsed in medbay, and has her leg all bound up in a cast.

"Pa! Heh, uh- sorry about all this. You an I were supposed to go out swimmin after that mission. I guess uh.. it'll have to wait.. heh.."

A deep breath, "Now don't chu worry bout none of that," He sat down beside her bed and pat her on the shoulder. "You just put all yer energy into gettin better. Ok? We can always go see the reef another time." His droopy ears and shaky voice wasn't helping his tough façade..

Tweaks pauses for a moment. But then offers her hand to Marsh. He takes it, confused at first.

"..I'm sorry I scared you pa.. I'll be ok.."

...Unable to reply, Marsh just nods. He sighs and wipes his tears away. Gripping Tweaks hand tighter. He sniffles, and just nods..

~~~

Natquik's meeting with Barnacles went a little smoother than the others. He is no stranger to the sight of blood. And knowing that Barnacles is tough as nails, he wasn't too worried about him.. but still. Seeing Barnacles in such a state.. it wasn't easy.

When Natquik came in, he placed a gentle paw on the bears shoulder. "Barnacles, how do you feel? Are your wounds bad..?" Barnacles' voice was gravelly and slow. He had a nasty headache after that facial injury.. "..Oh.. I'll be alright.. its nothing I.. cant recover from.."

Natquik pulls up a stool and sits beside him. "You gave me a big scare, you know. You must not do that to me! No more dangerous missions for you!" He said wagging his finger.

Barnacles chuckled. "That wasn't meant to.. be a dangerous mission. Things just.. got out of hand." Natquik nods. "Yes yes, I can see.." His tone seemed off at the end there..

"..Are you alright, Professor?" It takes Natquik a second to respond.. Seeming to think over his words. "Don't worry for me, Barnacles. I am better now that I have seen you. And you will heal fine, yes? So all is ok." His hesitation wasn't reassuring.. But he knows how Natquik is. So doesn't push it further. "Yes, despite the scene we caused.. most of these injuries are minor. We'll be.. alright." Natquik puts on a smile that cant truly be read. "That is all that matters, my friend."

~~~

ALSO WAAHAGA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD I'm so glad to hear you like my stuff!! And you're interested even when you don't know thE CANON? BESTIE I AM HONORED!! 😭😭💖💖😭💖💖

And of course I would respond! :DD I LOVE receiving comments/interaction with my work. Its the #1 thing I hope my posts receive! Now I cant respond to every single one unfortunately, but I do read them all and respond to as many as I possibly can!! :D I'll take this moment to give a big thank you to all that leave me messages/comments/asks! They're my favorite thing!! 💖💖🥰💖

@couchwow

Thank you! :D Also OOOO CREATRURES! :DDD

@peaspods

I don't have a master post for those, no.. it would take a ton of effort for me to comb through my entire blog to compile it all so I haven't done it..

You can find all/most of that stuff under my #octonauts tag and my #deltarune tag. I hope this helps!

I did have a blue blanket for a time.. though that blanket doesn't actually exist irl-

Also man, that would take me forever to make. Bibi and the other's quilts were really small and easy to work with. I cant imagine all the time it would take for me in this state to make a full human sized quilt-

Plus I would have to draw the quilt with me whenever I draw my sona. Which would suck because then it would take longer for me to draw myself <XDD

XD Thank you!! :D I'm so glad you like them! :}}

WAAAAA THATS SO GOOODD!! 😭😭😭😭

#my response #tw descriptions of blood #tw descriptions of injury #octonauts #welcome home #eddie dear #factual fam #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cookie run ocs #my ocs

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mediocrevideopodcast · 3 months

Note

Hi!! Could I request a platonic Mordecai Heller and GN reader where the reader helps Mordecai calm down after a stressful day, as well as dealing with reoccurring memories that hurt him to think about? Thank you so much! <3 <3 <3

A/N: Wowie, thank you for the patience on this! I might make a part 2 if people are interested since this was so short (and in the "earlier" stages of a Mordecai friendship,) but I had a lot of fun with this. He's such a good character, and while I think it'd take him a long, long time to ever open up... I think he'd really appreciate just having someone there in the moment. Enjoy!

Pairing: (Platonic) Mordecai Heller/Reader. Could be read as pre-relationship if you really believe in yourself. Content Warnings: Canon-typical implications of violence, vague allusions to comic spoilers (but nothing explicitly stated).

The halls are cold as you pad through the winding maze, kept warm only by the steaming teacup in your hand. Despite the immaculate condition Mordecai keeps his home in, it's damn-near impossible to keep the chill out when Winter rolls around. You pause in front of Mordecai's door, listening intently. The faint light trickling through the cracks in the door seems to be the only sign of life tonight, though.

You'd be lying if you said today wasn't a hard one. It seems like one too many things went wrong on today's run -- guns jamming, crowd panics, the usual. All small grievances in the grand scheme of things, albeit annoying ones. You've learned to look past the inherent danger in these little slip-ups -- to worry is to suffer twice, after all. But that's not what threw you off your game.

No, the issue was that you hadn't expected Asa's target of the week to have kids… and neither did the rest of your quartet. The argument on what to do with him lasted for longer than it should have -- it's not the first time Marigold's made you weigh your safety with your morality, but you've never had to do it like this. You shake your head, clearing your thoughts. It all worked out as it was meant to.

You knock quietly on the door, calling his name. One beat passes, and then another.

Silence.

Anxiety brews quietly in your gut -- it's not particularly unusual for him to get absorbed into his work, but tonight feels different. You recall the lingering chill that surrounded Mordecai, long after the four of you split ways.

Taking a deep breath, you open the door, walking inside.

Mordecai sits at his desk, bathed in the light of the lamp. His paperwork sits discarded, with a red marker sitting in the middle of his desk. It's such a bright object, so different from the rest of his office that it stands out like a bleeding wound in the wood. His eyes are closed, ears folded back with a furrow in his brow. If he's noticed you enter, he doesn't comment. Instead he rubs the bridge of his nose, before tracing harshly along the path of his pale white brows and landing at the creases of his lids.

You pad over quietly, just loud enough to be heard. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He sighs. "Not…" he pauses, pulling his hand away from his face. He opens his eyes, but they remain locked on the desk -- or more accurately, the pen. "Not particularly."

"That's alright." You hum quietly, taking a breath and placing the mug on the table. You turn, striding across the room to sit on the couch in his office. You pull a book from your bag, opening it to where you left off before casting another look at Mordecai. It's only then that his eyes move, glancing at the cup, and then at you. He blinks owlishly.

"Earl Grey," You smile, "Four minutes, and not a moment longer."

For a moment you think you see his own lips perk up, too. But more than that, his shoulders drop some of their tension. He picks it up gingerly, raising it to his mouth before casting a look over the rim.

"Thank you," he murmurs, taking a sip.

"Of course."

The silence is comforting, simply coexisting in the presence of one another. In the few short years you've known him, he's never been one to talk about his past. Although, you can't blame him for such a thing. It'd be dangerous in this line of work, after all. But you know him well enough to know that the quiet company is both more than he expects, and exactly what he needs in moments like these. You can't know what part of today hurt him this much, but you can be there when he needs you. The minutes tick by peacefully before he speaks up again.

He clears his throat, drawing your attention back unto him.

"Would you leave, if you could?" His voice is low, but steady. Unwavering. And yet it carries a weight with it, hinting at some deeper meaning beyond. You can surmise that part of it is about Marigold, but the other half...

"Beyond a doubt."

You're not sure what compels you to say it, so confidently at that. It'd mean certain death if you left, and you know it. Whether it be at the hands of Asa himself, or from the retaliatory action from other gangs… it wouldn't be a wise decision. But when the words come out, you know that you've never meant anything more.

He huffs quietly to himself, pulling his eyes away from yours. He picks up the marker and places it in a drawer before pulling his abandoned papers back into his workspace. "Good," he says. "It's good to have an open mind."

You might not know everything that's led up to Mordecai being here, and you're sure that you'll likely never know much of his past. But you can be here in the present, and you'll be damned if you're not gonna be in his future, too.

#divider by @cafekitsune #lackadaisy x reader #lackadaisy mordecai x reader #mordecai heller x reader #lackadaisy imagine #lackadaisy imagines

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psi0nics · 6 months

Text

Spider-Gwen is Very Likely Trans in Across the Spider-Verse, says One More Person

But this shit matters.

I've rewatched Across the Spider-Verse for probably the eighth time recently, and it continues to be blaringly obvious to me that Gwen is most likely a trans girl. I'm most certainly not the only one to have pointed this out, and I don't really think I'm adding anything new. But we need as many voices to speak up, I feel, and I might as well share what I think of it. Now, this little essay is going to focus mainly from the movie's material alone since I'm not much of a comic reader, and it'll be limited to my own experience as a Filipino trans girl who really wants to express some thoughts.

Spoilers ahead!

Across the Spider-Verse explores the journey of Miles Morales after the first film, Into the Spider-Verse, where he rises up to the mantle of Spider-Man. Now, we follow him as he fights to be recognized as Spider-Man by the rest of Spider-Society, who reject him for factors out of his control—and yet he made the best of them, took pride in them, and rose up to become Spider-Man in all the ways that matter. Unfortunately, the exact circumstances, Spider-Society doesn't like—represented by Miguel O'Hara. From all that I've heard and read, a lot of Miles's story strongly being a very Black story, drawing from Miles being Afro-Latino, and though the story itself never shows racism nor do the different universes explicitly show systemic discrimination and whatnot, his story still clearly draws from that. Miguel O'Hara isn't some racist white dude excluding Miles because he's Afro-Latino, Miguel is an Irish-Mexican man and the entire theme of the Spider-Society is that it is extremely diverse and open. But that doesn't mean that the institution that it represents in the context of literally everything Rio Morales, Miles's Mother, tells him. To remember where he's from, to not let those big institutions tell Miles that he doesn't belong there, and all these things that are brimming with subtext.

The subtext is there, and it's all intentional.

Then there's Gwen Stacy. Who, for her entire arc of the film, hinges on a relationship setup from the beginning—her father, George Stacy. Now, for a lot of trans people, including me, we found it striking that that arc felt pretty queer-coded. Now, by itself, there's nothing much to be gleaned, just Gwen struggling with the fact that she's forced to reveal her superhero identity to her dad in a tense moment, ripping them apart, and later reconciling. Now, I'm quite young for a queer person, but I'm aware of the history of all these subtle things or narratives about identity being all that queer people had in the mainstream for a very, very long time.

But these days, we celebrate every win, for every explicitly queer character, for every confirmation from creators where they couldn't explicitly show anything in the material (except for Rowling bullshit, fuck that fake shit), and every hold that we're constantly fighting for. I know I'm speaking for a lot of people when I say we are so happy to see so many gay and bi characters see the mainstream's spotlights, be left unquestioned, that I, someone on the other side of the world, am left in positive awe whenever I see some middle-aged white dudes casually say, "My daughter's girlfriend." But of course, it's always a fight. We can't be complacent, because for every win, people will always try to tear it down, and I know I just happen to be in pretty inclusive online communities to see what I see in the west. There, people queer sexualities still fight. Here, people still fight. Queer identities will never stop fighting.

All this to say, what of Gwen? Well, one of the moments that made me think about her this way was when I was putting the little hints together. Because her arc does not stand in isolation. Her arc is literally colored by transness. From the big trans flag above her door, the trans colors that literally paint her and her world, the reflections that show her other identity, her reconciliation with her father hitting us with "They can only know half of who I am," the acceptance, and even the tiniest bit of Mary Jane's voice over talking about raising a child that's different than everyone else and learning to learn as a parent, and all these details. Hell, she even hangs out with Hobie Brown, whose entire thing is anarchism, the rejection of what society has considered the norm for bullshit reasons, to hang out with a radical leftist—and as one of those, there's not any other group (or at least from my experience) quite as intersectional with solidarity with marginalized groups as radlefts. To those who say, "Maybe she's just an ally," I challenge you: why would the film stop there?

Why does the film that goes out of its way to casually show more people of color as normal, to show people with disabilities playing basketball, to show an entire arc about Miles striving to fight the institutions that want to keep him down, to drive with progress, to drive the narrative that anyone can be behind the mask, why would it stop at making Gwen Stacy a trans girl?

And very similar to Miles, of course there's no one explicitly transphobic nor are any groups shown to be that. It's a more personal story, and is more subtle about it. And it's crazy how much this reminds of when I grew up watching The Legend of Korra, when Korra and Asami's relationship was only some endgame thing and hinted at with a "vacation." Gay people didn't have that much there. Not much in other places in the mainstream either. They started making their own, of course. Through fan-fiction, through art, making their own stories. But fortunately (I say with as much dripping sarcasm as I can) capitalism now sees it as a big enough market for billionaires to profit off of. (Which is, in a very dystopian way, a win.) And now, it's eerily familiar to see trans people get the same treatment now, stuck in a limbo of infrequent and rare representation in the mainstream if we aren't clawing for every inch.

So, while Miguel O'Hara isn't a racist authoritarian, George Stacy isn't a transphobe—not when he goes out of his way to wear trans flags (and no, it's not a trick of the light; nothing is a trick of the light, it's all intentional in animation). But the conflicts they represent aren't any less meaningful in the subtext. And that means a lot for people who are fighting tooth and nail to be recognized.

And all of this, too, is representative of one of the first and second film's main themes. It's not that it doesn't matter who's behind the mask, it's that it can be anyone behind the mask, carrying with them all the richness of their experiences, bringing forth a Spider-Person unlike any other. And in the second film, to defy the patterns and labels set by the institutions that govern our lives, doing things like using fear and preserving an order for some grand picture.

So, I'm pretty sure Gwen Stacy is trans. What does it add to the story? Nothing. Being cis never added much to the story.

But for someone like me, it's doing a lot. It gives me hope.

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naavispider · 1 year

Note

What do you think Spider’s relationship with the McCoskers was like (Nash, Mary, and the boys)? Spider is apparently so desperate for a family that even Quaritch is considered a better candidate for a father than Nash so I’m assuming from that and what we’ve seen in the comics that it’s very negative, possibly bordering on abuse and neglect.

Imma preface this by saying I've only read The High Ground volume 1, so I don't know any of the background info from vol 2 and 3 about the McCoskers, however, I think I know everything I want to about them 😌 (tw abuse)

I hate to say it, but I think they were pretty awful to him. Mary and Nash were his adoptive parents, they wee the people who were supposed to love him, care for him, treat him as their own... and yet we never, not once, heard Spider even mention them. He acts like they don't exist, and for all intents and purposes, they don't.

Something must have gone extremely wrong for Spider to feel so 'parentless' despite having the McCoskers. Hell, we even see Norm and Max take a more active role in parenting him than his supposed family. Because that's what an adoptive family is: a family. True and total, despite not being blood related.

Which makes the fact that it failed even more heart-wrenching. I think this is strong evidence that points towards abuse. Spider is clearly desperate for parental figures in his life, and obviously he's not getting it from Nash and Mary. To me what makes the most sense if that they were abusive in the way they emotionally treated Spider.

they never wanted him around

they only took him because there was literally no one else

when they fell pregnant with their own kids, a lot of the caregiving fell on other adults' shoulders

they always favoured the boys more than spider

they changed spider's room into a nursery for their first child, without a plan for where spider would sleep when it arrived

the scientists were able to find him a spare room in Hell's Gate a bit further away from where the McCoskers live - it used to be a store cupboard but with a bit of help from Norm spider makes it look okay

neglect and emotional abuse take their toll on spider over the years and he comes to see Nash especially as just a person who was supposed to love him, but doesn't

he never called them mom or dad

the other scientists see what is going on but what can they do? they can't take spider in themselves

when spider gets back from the forest after a long day spent with the Omatikaya, the McCoskers just ignore his return.

"You're late Spider. Should we even bother saving dinner for you?"

"Perhaps you should ask to stay the night with Kiri and Lo'ak?"

"You got hurt? Go to the med bay, they'll sort you out."

Eventually, he just stops letting them know he's back safe, and they start to go days without even seeing each other (age 7-8)

Nash in particular starts to resent spider - "what are you doing here boy, we've just put the kids to bed!"

no one tells spider to brush his hair, take showers, brush his teeth etc.

spider takes meals where he can get them - he always misses dinner with the McCoskers because they eat early before putting the boys to bed

it's how he started to eat with the Sullys

he sometimes pops in for lunch with the science guys - he knows what time they break and also that the McCoskers aren't there

spider is never interested in playing with the McCosker's other kids (idk in my headcanon he is the only human child on Pandora even though that goes against established canon) because he would always get the blame if they got hurt or upset

the favouritism was so real that he started avoiding the family altogether

the McCoskers were obviously fine with this

Overall, terrible, terrible treatment of a child who needed a family. Even if that family was just one person. The McCoskers were chosen because they were a young couple who wanted kids of their own (they saw spider as 'practice'), and who were deemed 'reliable' - not because they actually wanted him or were emotionally available. It was a collective failure on all of the humans at Hell's Gate, because they all failed to step in and change the situation when it became clear the adoption wasn't working. Multiple failures all around.

And so, when Spider meets Quaritch - an adult whose singular parental focus is on him... who is constantly checking on his wellbeing, who gets mad when Spider puts himself in harm's way... it becmes abundantly clear why Spider falls for Quaritch as a father figure.

#spider socorro #miles spider socorro #avatar mccoskers #tw neglect #tw emotional abuse #recom quaritch

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arcaneorphic · 6 months

Text

In Every Life - Timeskip! Osamu x Reader

Pairing: Timeskip! Osamu x Reader Genre: Fluff, Slice of Life Summary: Osamu wonders what life would have been life if they had went down different paths. Takes place in same universe of Redamancy, but can be read separately. Word Count: 1,609

She eyes her fiancee for a while before she softly asks, “What’re you thinking about?”

He blushes and answers too quickly, “Nothin’.”

The movie playing on their television long forgotten as she runs her fingers through his hair, “You’re an awful liar, Osamu.”

“Angel,” he relaxes at her touch. He knows that she’s doing—luring him into a state where he’ll bare his mind and soul to her; and he does nothing to stop it. They’ve played this song and dance before countless times by now, nearly three years in, so he knows how it goes. Still, it doesn’t mean he won’t give in without a little bit of a fight, he’s still a Miya after all. “’S embarrassin’.”

“I won’t laugh,” her voice honeyed in the way she knows makes him melt.

He sighs, as if she’s asking him to do the impossible but she knows it’s all just part of their little back and forth, “Swear?”

“Swear.”

“I was thinkin’,” he hesitates when he feels the rush of heat flood his cheeks. “ya know, what if I never started Onigiri Miya in the first place? Or you never opened up your shop?”

She watches him intently as he speaks, “Do ya think… what if I never found ya?”

Osamu braces himself for laughter that never comes. He braves a glance at her, only to be met with a loving gaze. It was stupid of him to think she’d laugh at him, his soft-hearted girl would never.

“I would’ve found you,” she says with such certainty, “or you would’ve found me some other way.”

“Ya can’t know that,” he shakes his head.

She takes her fingers out of his hair, and just before he’s about to complain she places both hands on his cheeks and gently tugs his face to look at her fully, “I know.”

***

He’s a pro-athlete.

(He finds her.)

Practice was hell, but at least it ended early. It’s 1:00 pm and Osamu is walking down the shopping district looking for a place to eat. It’s a nice place to set up a shop, he thinks as he looks at the various businesses. His wandering mind is what causes the usually hyper observant Osamu to bump into another body.

“Shit, sorry,” he says as he instinctively grabs the person to keep them from falling over. When he looks down at the person he’s just crashed into all he can think about is those god-awful romcoms Atsumu forced him to watch.

Osamu has seen his fair share of beautiful women, but none of them compared to the woman in front of him. Something about her was timeless, naturally elegant and features so undeniably pretty that he’s sure she’s sick of hearing men mention it.

“Geez, thought they’d put up a wall in the time I was gone,” she joked despite her surprise. Her voice was like nothing he had ever heard before, but there was a slight strain to it. It was then that Osamu noticed the heavy looking crate in her hands.

He let out a nervous chuckle, “Sorry, I shoulda looked where I was goin’. Here let me,” he says motioning towards the crate in her hands.

It looked like she was about to protest, but her eyes took in his figure, which made Osamu’s face flush, she nodded, “Yes, please, I feel like my arms are about to fall off.”

He takes the crate from her and is surprised by just how heavy it was. She gives him a grateful smile before she starts walking towards one of the shops; the name on the window reads ‘Ume Field’. He follows behind her, and it crosses his mind how comical it must look seeing Miya Osamu, pro-athlete and rising star, hanging on every word out of this stranger’s mouth.

She unlocks the door and motions for Osamu to walk in first. Once inside he takes a look around the flower shop. It’s cozy, the kind of place you can spend hours in and feel like only a few minutes have gone by.

“You can set that on the floor by the register, please,” she calls out from the front of her shop.

After placing the crate where she asked, he looks at her as she hurriedly reopens her shop. The sign that read ‘Be Back At’ with a written in ‘1:00… promise!’ is flipped to open and she places a handwritten forecourt sign outside. It’s clear by the small shelves next to the door that there’s more steps to her opening, but she pauses them in favor of walking towards him.

“So…” she trails off with an expectant look in her eyes.

“Um, Miya Osamu,” he responds.

“So, Miya-san,” he has never yearned so much for someone to call him by his first name, “thank you for helping me, you are thoroughly forgiven for bumping into me.”

“It was the least I could do, really.”

Osamu took note of the tables and chairs around the flower shop, and wondered why they were there. Seeming to see the slight crease in his eyebrows she said, “Sometimes the cafe across the street gets a little too busy and students like to come in here to study or hang out. So, I figured it’s a win-win, you know? They get a nice place to be and my chances for sales goes up.”

“Is it any good? The cafe, I mean.”

“Do you like coffee?”

He shakes his head.

She laughs and Osamu’s never believed in love at first sight—but damn does this woman make him believe, “Then no, you probably wouldn’t like it. Their pastries are also pretty small, super good, but not very filling. If you’re hungry though, there’s this place a little further down the street with the best ramen you’ve ever had in your life.”

“Do they do orders to go?”

She thinks about it for a moment as she pulls out ceramic watering bells from the crate, “I’m pretty sure?”

“And do you allow ramen in your shop?”

She stops for a moment, watering bells only an inch from the shelf she’s about to stock them at, as she says, “Usually no, but I’m willing to make an exception if you promise not to make a mess.”

“I promise.”

===

Three weeks later, and Atsumu wonders why his brother is buying their ma a bouquet, some times two, of flowers every week. Always different, but always big and expensive looking. When asked Osamu just says, “What? I need a reason to give Ma a gift?”

It isn’t until Atsumu types the name of the shop on Instagram and a picture of the pretty shopkeep shows up on his screen that he understands. His brothers got it bad.

***

Ume Field never opens

(She finds him.)

She thought that working from home would be a saving grace. Maybe if she didn’t have to work in an actual office in an actual cubicle then she wouldn’t feel like her soul had died—how wrong she was. Her nice apartment feels suffocating and she needs to get out or she’s sure she’ll go crazy. So, she finds herself aimlessly walking down the shopping district near her apartment complex.

She passes by a shop she’s never seen before. The lettering on the window reads ‘Onigiri Miya’ with what looks to be the logo accompanying it. There doesn’t seem to be anyone inside and she’d be the first to admit that she loves giving new shops around there a try; so, she walks in.

The chime of the door opening lets the owner know that someone’s entered. She hears a man’s voice call out, “Be right with ya.”

She looked around the restaurant for a moment and couldn’t help but notice the lack of greenery. It was biased of her, but she always thought a place looked a little more inviting with a plant or two around. Anthurium, for hospitality and abundance, would be good to have since the shop was new.

“Sorry for the wait I…” his voice trailed off suddenly when they made eye contact.

Stood before her was the most attractive man she had ever seen. Broad shoulders, strong-looking arms, handsome features, and kind eyes, “It’s okay.”

She sees him shake his head slightly and let out an amused sigh to himself, “What can I get started for you?”

Her eyes are on the menu as she walks up to the counter. She feels his eyes on her, and she’s never been one to seek validation from another person; but she hoped he thought she was just as pretty as she found him to be.

She tells him her order and when she looks back at him with a smile she sees pink color his cheeks, “Can I have a name for the order?”

He tells her it’ll be out soon and to take a seat wherever she’d like. As she walks away she hears him mutter under his breath, “Pretty name too.”

She blushes in a way she hasn’t since she was in high school. She tries to busy herself, but her eyes always seem to find their way back to the man making her food.

Soon enough Onigiri Miya becomes her favorite spot to eat, only because the food is so good and defiantly not because of the handsome owner with the kind eyes.

***

Osamu looks at her, the love of his life, and feels something within his soul comforted by her words. Somehow he knows that she’s right. His face is slightly squished in her talented hands as he says, “Course ya do, petal.”

#miya osamu x reader #miya osamu x you #miya osamu #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu #hq fluff #hq x reader #hq x you #one of them will always follow their dreams #au's my own au

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scintillyyy · 1 year

Note

Did Jack really didnt realize Tim was missing for months??? Like i know this is comic book fuckery, but still dude holy shit

alright anon, i believe your ask is referring to my comic book references in the endnotes in my janet fic where i mention that jack doesn't notice tim is gone for like 4 months during no man's land, so i'm going to answer it as if it is. correct me if i'm wrong, tho! and i'll be honest: some of those are meant to humorously poke fun at jack's parenting (or lack thereof).

but to answer your question, yes and no? it kind of boils down to two main points

honestly, in jack's defense, i truly don't think that chuck dixon's intention was to make it seem like jack was totally unaware of and not super concerned about tim being missing for months on end

due to the utter wackiness (and wonderfulness) that is the canon of the no man's land timeline, it definitely comes across that jack is very unconcerned about and/or unaware of tim being gone for a...not insignificant amount of time

under a cut for length

so for starters, we have to take a look at the no man's land official timelime as laid out in the no man's land secret files

our important months here are may and september. in robin #67, tim and dick sneak into no man's land together. based on the official timeline given, this happens in may. robin is then noted to be staying in no man's land and assisting batman through the months of june, july, and august. you'll notice it's not until september that he defeats killer croc and secures the west side.

this is important, because tim doesn't call his jack and let him know that he's in no man's land until robin #72 - after he defeats killer croc.

so now we have a 4 month gap of may to september where tim has been MIA and out of contact from jack and we, uh, haven't heard anything about this disappearance from his dad. no concerns, nothing. which, in all likelihood is because they didn't want to devote any page space to a subplot like this with jack when they had a lot of other stories they needed to tell, but since they don't flash over to jack worrying about tim at all, it kind of reads like jack isn't necessarily super concerned about the fact that tim has been gone for months on end.

and this is strange because, honestly, in canon jack is not the type who would just let his son be missing without addressing it at all, considering tim has gone missing before and jack....didn't take it well. right before cataclysm, tim runs away due to doubting himself as robin and jack not only notices within a couple of days that tim is gone, he goes all out to try and find him.

he contacts the police in robin #48 and robin #49

he even goes to talk to bruce in his desperation to see if bruce knows anything about where his son could have gone (which is actually my favorite bruce & jack interaction)

so we're left with this interesting juxtaposition of how we know jack will react to his son being missing for weeks and how jack is...not really reacting to tim being gone for 4 months at this point.

now we do get a panel that implies that jack is vaguely aware that tim has been gone for a bit. when tim calls him in robin #72 he does say this:

he does ask where tim is and where he's been, but also....

well, i generally disagree with policing people's reactions to stressful situations like this (unlike a lot of true crime enthusiasts), but, uh...idk, to me jack is not really acting like his son has been gone for 4 months at this point. because we've seen how he reacts to tim being gone for multiple weeks, if not months. it looks like this (from robin #52):

you can see here he is palpably relieved and downright exuberant that his son is alive and contacting him after being MIA for so long. he's not angry at all, just filled with relief that his son is okay. compare this to the no man's land one, where he just seems annoyed and angry, like it's just a situation where tim was supposed to be home for dinner or something and he never showed up because he went out with friends and didn't call and let his dad know his plans. like, nothing about the no man's land example reads to me like a father who has been worried sick at his son casually disappearing for 4 months (after recently doing this to boot and jack was shown to be absolutely sick with concern over it all!) without contacting him at all, considering we do know how jack reacts to this very situation. like, almost everything about those two panels are framed differently, even though it's basically the same situation. and of course, after jack finds out that tim is in no man's land, he immediately reacts like he did prior to cataclysm: with immense concern for tim's safety and a goal to find him and get him home. he calls the media and does everything in his power to get tim out safely! so as readers, we're left wondering about how this gap was handled since we didn't hear from jack at all during that time and we've got a couple of options, actually:

most likely, jack was very concerned offscreen over the four months actually, but at the same time he was also very annoyed because didn't they just go through this? he's very upset that tim just keeps running off like this. he probably reported it to the police and we just didn't see it because chuck dixon didn't want to rehash the tim is missing story with jack again or devote limited page space to how jack is reacting to his son being missing.

more hilariously, jack didn't really notice tim was gone for as long as he was. teenagers are slippery, okay? jack is doing his best, but it's really hard keeping track of your fifteen year old when you're jack drake. he just assumed that tim was having a busy summer with his friends and, you know, jack was busy too, working and doing stuff with dana and it's not until dana casually mentions around the end of august, hey, i notice tim hasn't been around recently, shouldn't he be starting school in a few days? and jack's like, huh, that's weird, where is that kid, i expect him home for dinner, i guess i haven't seen him in a few days, now i'm starting to get worried and then his kid calls and is like, hey i'm actually in no man's land.

and honestly, i don't think this whole 4 month thing is something chuck put a lot of thought into, or he definitely backtracked on how unreasonable it was to have tim be gone for so long and never show jack being concerned about it prior to tim calling him considering in robin #74, he has tim say this:

where tim is like "oh, he's mad because i disappeared for a month", which i think is trying to make it better in that maybe tim wasn't gone as long as the timeline would suggest, and jack clearly spent a couple of weeks with his media circus between when he finds out tim is in no man's land and when tim is able to get rescued from no man's land which would give us the rough month tim claims to be missing for, so the implication is that tim maybe didn't actually go missing for 4 months?

but this also directly contradicts the official timeline of events, and actually gives us an even more hilarious implication: you see, jack finds out in september that tim is missing and the issue that tim gets rescued at is meant to be read before catwoman #75, which is catwoman en route to to NML, which our timeline places in october...which is about a month from september. so there we have a month that tim is gone that jack is aware of, so to jack, tim went missing for a month in no man's land.

but for that to work, jack has to be unaware that tim was actually also missing for the four months prior. so there it is! jack being seemingly completely unaware that his son is MIA for four months. in large part, due to the utter ridiculousness of the no man's land timeline rather than any actual intent on the writers' part to do so.

fun times!

#scintilly ask tag #jack drake #tim drake #batman #dc

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justmeinadaze · 2 years

Text

Unattainable Part X (Eddie X Theater Girl)

A/N: I rewrote this like 3 times lol I needed theater girl to have a moment with Eddie where he is human. Because he is. Even though to they love each other and he's her "knight in shining armor" he's still man with some insecurities and fears like the rest of us.

Warnings: No smut in this one but definitely some angst and fluff near the end lol, Theater girl has a moment with her mom (there are mentions of the trauma there; not a lot but) , there is drug use and not the fun kind!

Word Count: 3900

“Are you sure you want to go back?” Eddie’s tone was low, laced with an undertone of sadness. It broke my heart but I had to go back home sometime and with it being the Sunday before going to back to school, I figured I might as well. “You can still stay here you know.”

I made my way towards where he was sitting at the end of his bed playing his guitar. His back was to me as he kept his eyes on the tv in front of him. Wrapping my arms around his shirtless torso, I placed a kiss on his bare shoulder. I felt his strong, calloused hand reach up to rub one of my arms.

“Eddie, I have to go home.”

“At least let me go in with you. I can even stay in another room while you talk to her.”

“I promise, everything is going to be fine.”

He turned his head in my direction, bringing my hand to his lips, planting a soft kiss on the back.

“I just want to know you’re ok.”

#####################################

When I entered through my front door, I immediately felt Eddie’s absence. The house was still and eerily silent. All the shades were pulled down making it seem darker than it should be. As I walked by the kitchen, I noticed the dishes piled high in the sink.

“What are you doing?!” Eddie’s voice cracks comically behind me and he shoves me to the side with his hips. “Princesses don’t do dishes!”

I made my way up the stairs, glancing in my mother’s bedroom but there was no one there.

Eddie jumps on the bed and crawls up to me planting a sloppy kiss on my lips. “I missed you.”

“You were gone for like 10 minutes!”

“Pffft! 10 minutes to long.”

As I enter my room, I throw my bags on the floor. I make my way towards the empty bed and look around my what now feels like an empty bedroom. I don’t even try to control the tears as I lean into the pillow, hugging myself as I cry.

“Hey. You ok, baby? Do you need anything?” Eddies hand caresses my cheek.

“No, I’m fine. Thank you.” I smile up at him as he leans in to kiss my forehead.

I had been home for 3 hours before my mom finally came home. I listened intently as she made her way into the kitchen, moving things around, and then stomped her way upstairs.

“Oh hey. You’re home.”

I can’t find it in me to reply to her so I simply look in her direction and nod my head. She comes in, sitting down beside me and it takes her a few minutes before she says anything else.

“Look, um, I am sorry about what happened. You know”, she swallows and nervously runs her hands along her knees. “You know I would never hurt you like that. I would never…I would never…I would”, she starts repeating herself under her breath.

I reach out and take her hand in mine. “I know, mom. I know.”

Her eyes are brimming with tears when she turns her head to look at me. She nods her head as if I affirmed something with my answer. She slowly gets up, heading for the door.

“Oh! Something came for you while you were gone. I put it on your desk.”

I flash her a lazy smile and she returns it before heading for her room, closing the door. I slog over to my desk and see an envelope with a college insignia. I quickly open it and read through the letter. I got accepted into my first-choice theater school in New York. Smiling, I hug the letter to my chest.

Reaching for the phone, I dial Eddie’s number.

“Yeah?” The sound of his voice immediately calmed my chaotic mind. From a distance I heard Wayne’s voice float through. “Edward! Is that seriously how you answer the phone?” Eddie huffs into the mouthpiece.

“Wow. You always know how to make me feel special.”

“Hey! Hey. Hang on a second.” He pulls the phone away from his face. “It’s for me, Wayne! Calm down!” I giggle at him as I hear him shuffle to a room and close the door. “Hey Sweetheart. You ok?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. I miss you.”

“I miss you to. It feels weird not seeing your face.” I make a tiny aw sound at his comment. “How was she? Did you guys talk?”

“I mean, we talked about as much as we normally do. She just got home and then she apologized so,” I shrug even though he can’t see it.

“I’m sorry. I wish you had let me come with you so you wouldn’t have had to be alone for so long.”

“It’s okay. I did actually call because I have some good news to balance out all the bleh.”

He laughs at my last word and the sound effect that follows it. “Tell me something other than bleh.”

“I, um, while I was away a letter came in from that school I applied to in New York and I got accepted.”

Silence. I was unprepared for silence. “Eddie? Are you still there?”

“Yeah. I’m here. That’s amazing, babe. I’m really… I’m really happy for you!”

Is he? Am I overanalyzing his tone right now?

*snickers*

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I have to go. Wayne needs the phone and I’m just really tired. I’ll probably go to bed early tonight. I am proud of you.”

“Oh. Okay. Yeah, you should get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.”

“I love you to.” The last thing I hear is the sound of the lighter and his garbled voice as he places the cigarette between his teeth.

############################################

The buzz around school was electric as everyone hugged their friends and talked about their amazing spring break. Eddie usually meets me by my locker in the mornings but today he didn’t show.

Maybe he slept in?

Maybe he needed some time away from you.

When the lunch bell rang, I practically ran to the cafeteria to see if he was there and to my surprise, he wasn’t.

“Dustin!” I shook his shoulder. “Where is Eddie?”

“Um”, he looks around confused. “I always assume if he’s not here he’s with you.”

“What do you mean? You haven’t heard from him at all today?” My voice gets a little shriller than I mean it to.

“No but that’s not uncommon. I mean…should we be worried?”

“No. No. I bet he just overslept or something.” I paint what I hope is a convincing smile across my face as I turn to leave. I’m on autopilot as I feel my feet take me out of the cafeteria and through the front doors of the campus.

###########################################

When I pull up to the trailer, I breathe out a sigh of relief to see Eddie’s van. I jump off my bike and knock on the door. “Eddie! It’s me, Eddie come on.” No one answers.

I make my way around to where I know his room is and see that the window is slightly open. I look around and find a brick in the grass near the front steps. I place it below his window, allowing for leverage, as I use all my strength to push up and through the area, crashing onto his empty bed.

“I’d be lying if I didn’t say that was super attractive.” Eddie’s voice comes out husky and gargled. He’s lying on his back on the floor of his room in just his torn up blue jeans. He’s hugging his guitar with it flat against his tummy as he casually plucks at the strings in no particular order. Next to his head is an ash tray filled to the brim and a carton of cigarettes.

“Eddie? What’s going on, babe?” He lets out a snarky laugh that I’ve heard before but never from him. He’s either drunk or on something. “Eddie…what did you do?”

I climb off the bed to kneel down beside him. His long finger lazily comes up to my face, pointing at me. “Shouldn’t you be at school?”

He lets out a sarcastic ow as I slap his hand away and start digging through things around him. I grab his waist digging my hands into his pockets. Slowly I pull out a small bag of white powder, holding it up so I can look at it. “Hey. That’s mine.” As Eddie reaches for the bag, I get on my feet to keep looking around. “Hey! If you want some Special K all you have to do is ask, angel. You know I’d share with you for free.” I find what I’m searching for on his dresser. There’s a plate with more white powder on it sorted into lines with a rolled-up dollar bill next to it.

“How much of this have you had?”

“Enough.” He starts strumming his guitar again.

“Eddie, I’m not playing around. How much of this have you had.”

“Oh my god. It doesn’t matter. It’s mine. I bought it. I can take as much as I want! God damn. I can’t tell who you’re acting more like, my mom or yours.”

I don’t know what hit me first, the hurt or the anger. Of course, Eddie did drugs. We had smoked joints together but this… this was different. Like my mother he was using this vice to bury something, something that’s bothering him. I was hurt that he didn’t talk to me before it got to this point. I was angry that whatever it was had got him here. I was infuriated that I had spent almost 10 years of my life, my childhood, taking care of and watching someone I loved spiral like this. I refused to do it again.

“Oh. Ok. You know what you’re right. How much does this stuff usually go for?” I asked, my tone dripping with distain.

“I paid, um, a $100 I think.”

“$100? Ok.” I grabbed my bag off the bed and dug through it before pulling out my wallet. I threw a bunch of twenties in Eddies direction.

“Ugh! What the—”

“It’s mine now.” I grabbed the plate off his dresser and headed towards the bathroom. I cleaned the powder off the plate and emptied the bag into the toilet, flushing it down. Eddie swished past me on my way back to his room towards the bathroom.

“Are you fucking kidding me?! That was everything I had!”

“Well, Edward, according to your philosophy I paid for them so I could do what I wanted with them.”

From the doorway he was standing in, I could see his face twitch as I said his name. I had never called him Edward before and he didn’t like it. I pointed my finger at him as I spoke, “I will not baby another grown up. You’re the one that said we need to talk to each other if something is wrong.”

He scoffed as he leaned in the doorway, folding his arms. “What does it matter, right? You’re going to be leaving me like everyone else so there will be no one for you to baby.”

“Really?” I gesture towards him. “All of this is because I got accepted into that school?”

Something ignites in his eyes and he walks almost aggressively towards me until he is in my face. “You didn’t tell me you had applied or even talk to me about what I would want to do after we graduate!”

“You knew I wanted to get out of Hawkins. I never hid that from you.”

“Yeah, and where did I fit in to your plan?! Hm?”

“With me! Eddie, I applied there before I met you. I just assumed any school I got into you’d come with me.” Eddie shakes his head me and saunters towards his cigarettes. I watch him as he lights one and blows out smoke in my direction. “What do you want to do? Where do you want to go after high school?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?! You’re giving me this attitude because you think I’m going to leave you and that I apparently don’t consider you and your plans but now you’re telling me you have no idea what those plans actually are?!”

“Don’t talk to me like that. I’m just being honest.”

“No, you’re being petty because you’re scared!” I close my eyes and try to control my tone. “Eddie, I get it. Trust me. You’re afraid that I’m going to hurt and leave you here.” I move my body in front of his and cup his cheeks in my hands forcing him to look at me. “I promise you; I would never hurt you like that.”

He stares through me and twists his face out of my hands, throwing himself on the bed. I swallow and blink back the tears that try to come. “Fine. You can keep pouting and doing this little thing here but I wasn’t joking. I already handle a drunk. I won’t do this again.” I wrap my bag around my shoulder and slam out the front door, leaving my bike on the front lawn. I need to walk and let out some steam.

############################################

I hadn’t seen Eddie since yesterday afternoon. Well, let me clarify. I hadn’t spoken to him since then. I saw him around school but went in the opposite direction to avoid the confrontation. I was exhausted. I was so tired of dealing with the bullshit like that. After leaving his trailer, my wall came up and it was higher than it had ever been.

“Hey.” My mom lightly taps on my door. After school I had come straight home and curled up on my bed listening to music hoping to drown out the world. Having her knock on my door was way more startling than her just barging in. I was used to that. Everyone around me was acting different and it was throwing me off.

“Hey. Is everything ok?”

“No! No, everything is fine. Um, that Munson kid is here.”

I let out a sigh. “Oh, thank you. Can you tell him I’m sick or something?”

“Thank you, ma’am. I can take it from here.” My mother moved to the side to let Eddie pass her into my room.

“I’m going to work. They need some extra hands so…” We exchange a smile before she leaves Eddie and I alone. Once I hear the front door close, I turn my attention to him.

“What do you want, Eddie?”

“I wanted to talk, explain some things.”

“Now you want to talk. You know what?” I raise my hand dismissively in his direction. “You don’t have to explain anything, ok? You can do whatever you want.”

He exhales slowly, his feet shuffling across the floor to come sit on the end of my bed. I immediately get up, heading towards the other side of my room, crossing my arms. I need to put as much distance between him and I as possible.

You have to be ready for the worst. I told you he was like them.

“Please don’t do that. Look at me. I swear I haven’t even had any weed today, ok?”

“Good…good for you, Eddie.” I try to make my tone sound strong but my lips vibrate as the words leave my mouth.

“I fucked up. I know I fucked up. I just—” He gets up and tries reaching for me but I slip away from his embrace, moving again to the opposite end of the room.

“I don’t care that you do or have drugs. I care how you use them.” My eyes glance quickly to his before focusing on something else in the room. “What were you numbing?”

“You were right yesterday. I was scared. Scared that, you know, you were going to go off and be this awesome famous college actress girl and leave stupid, freak, metalhead me here. I couldn’t face the idea that…. that you might now want me to go with you. You told me your news and, I don’t know, I just panicked.”

I sit back down on my bed and let out a heavy sigh. “What I don’t understand is”, my voice cracks as a tear falls down my cheek. “Why would you think for one second I wouldn’t want you with me? I mean, Jesus Eddie, I spend almost every single day with you. I just spent an entire week at your house. I gave you my trust andmy body! What more do you—what happened to your hand?” While I was practically shouting at him, I glanced down and noticed his knuckles were red and bruised.

“Oh”, he whispers, raising his hand to look at it. “I may have… punched the wall after you left. I kept thinking about what I said to you—” I headed towards the bathroom, coming back with a first aid kit. Grabbing his other hand, I moved him to sit on the bed. “Hey, I’m fine. It’s no big deal. OW!”

I ran a cotton ball with rubbing alcohol over his cuts. “Oh, don’t be baby.” I mutter under my breath. Leaning over him, I throw the ball away into the trash. I reach into the kit again and crack one of the tiny ice packs that are in there before placing it on his hand. “You must have hit it pretty hard. There’s some swelling here.”

His other hand comes up to cover the one I have holding the pack in place. “I’m really sorry. For what I said, how I said it, how it must of made you feel. You won’t ever have to do or deal with anything again, ok? Like I said, I panicked. I’m just a fucking coward I guess.”

“Eddie, you’re not a coward. You’re human. You got scared. I know I’m one to talk. When I’m in my head I try and hide what I’m feeling but you don’t let me and I’m not going to let you. You know I’m always here for you but that doesn’t mean I’m going to put up with whatever that was yesterday.”

He reaches out towards my chin, pulling me in for a kiss. “That’s fair.” I smile against his lips, before reaching up to kiss his forehead like he does with me.

His head moves from side to side as he takes in everything. “Last time I was here I didn’t actually get to look at your room.” He points to the ceiling at my heavy metal posters. “Those are obviously cool.” Eddie rises from the bed and slowly starts taking a look around. He stops at my desk, running his hand over the A+ ribbons and theater certificates. He smiles as he gazes at my photos of me and some of the other theater kids tapped to my mirror. Crossing the room to my dresser, he picks up a framed photo of my family holding me when I was a baby.

“You were adorable.” He grins over at me. I respond with a big tooth filled smile as I put everything in the first aid kit away and place it on the bed side table. I don’t notice him make his way to my keyboard piano in the corner of the room.

“Hey! What’s this? It has my name on it.”

“Eddie!” I rush over to him trying to take the folded piece of paper out of his hand but he’s too quick and holds it up over his head.

“What is it? Were you writing me a song or something? Aw, Sweetheart. That’s cute! I thought you couldn’t sing?” He kept dodging my hands as I jumped up trying to reach it.

“I wasn’t trying to write you a song.” An embarrassed sigh escaped my lips. “I was trying to learn a song.” He clutches at his heart dramatically. “Ok, you know what, it was stupid. I was working on it after our first couple of dates and you were always playing the guitar for me over the phone and singing stuff so I wanted to surprise you but then I thought it was cheesy.” Eddie laughed at my babble as he reached for my arm to pull me into a hug.

“Can you play it for me now?” I look up at him apprehensively. “Oh, come on. If it’s terrible we’ll just say my ears bleeding is punishment for yesterday.” I punch him the arm, making him giggle harder.

Grabbing the piano, I motion for him to sit on the floor, and he does cross-legged like a child on Christmas morning under the tree opening presents. I sat directly across from him and placed the notes on the hold rack of the keyboard. I play with the keyboard for a bit before starting to play the notes I learned, singing to him slow and soft.

“When everything feels all over Everybody seems unkind I'll give you a four-leaf clover Take all worry out of your mind

Let my love open the door

To your heart”

I glance at Eddie and notice the playful nature that was previously on his face has been replaced with a gentle smile. I focus my eyes back on the notes in front of me but I can still feel his own penetrating me as he watches me play.

“The only key to your heart That can stop you falling apart Try today, you'll find this way Come on and give me a chance to say

Let my love open the door It's all I'm livin' for Release yourself from misery There's only one thing gonna set you free

That's my love

When tragedy befalls you Don't let it drag you down Love can cure your problems You're so lucky I'm around

Let my love open the door

To your heart.”

When I look up at him again, he’s no longer smiling. Eddie’s head was tilted to the side and his eyes were scanning my face.

“See? I told you it was cheesy. I didn’t even learn the entire thing.” I say as I exhale a nervous laugh. After I slide the piano from between us, I reach out with my foot and lightly push at his knee. “Punishment served.”

Eddies hand quickly grabs my ankle as I’m pulling it away, sliding me forward and underneath him as he lays on top of me. He cups my face, placing a passionate kiss on my lips. I reach my arms up, twisting them around his neck, pulling him closer to me. When he finally pulls away, we’re both panting, trying to get some air back into our lungs.

“That was beautiful.” He rubs the tip of his nose along mine. “I don’t feel like I deserved something like that. After everything.”

“Eddie, after everything you’ve done for me, I feel like that wasn’t enough.”

He leans down landing small kisses along my face. “You’re right.” He murmurs against my skin. “Next time, hire someone else to sing to me.” I roll my eyes as he starts laughing at me again. I shove his shoulder, rolling him on to his back with me straddling his waist. My hands brace themselves on his chest as he lifts his hips up to get into a more comfortable position, grabbing my own hips to hold me steady. He’s beaming up at me with that huge, gorgeous smile I adore so much.

“Can I ask you something?” Eddie nods his head as his hands rub up and down my thighs. “Would you want to come with me to New York?”

He grins as he sits up causing me to slide down against him. He bites his bottom lip, smiling up at me.

“I’ll go with you anywhere, my Lady.” ##########################################

A/N: This is the song she's singing to him. I envisioned it being slower though like an acoustic version :)

Tags: @hufflepuffprincess24 @fanfiction-lover-24

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