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#i really forget how to use tumblr i wont lie
noahs-ark-book · 10 months
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✦ 𝑵𝑶𝑨𝑯'𝑺 𝑨𝑹𝑲 𝑽𝑶𝑳. 3 ✦
our contributors for the final book in this series, which is coming out sooooon!!! Noah's Ark is an R18 collaborative artbook that's getting its first printed volume this year!!!
u can also find us on twitter and instagram, were we'll be posting individual artist spotlights :) whee
page 1
turbles | Shan | Jordan | bucomik
Dolly♡ | gabriel | Dove | Vulli
Sblue | ivq | Noc | mara
page 2
Ash | nauma | nanatsu | butter
gloom | Nudh | Gom | Morti
Saifoku | tsu | Roby | thernz
page 3
mooncash | ohrringe | brwnsteel | twistedcord
Lina | zhou | nat | cam
seosamh | marimo | ray
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furrbbyx · 1 year
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OMFG! Thank you for tagging me @sio-writes I had a hecking great time with this. I really got to explore Sable more, and of course I put my own spin on it.
I tag: @oracleact @atlas-nsfw @the-wizard-writes @bucketsofmonsters and @gaytrashfoodprocessor or whoever wants to join! I can't wait to read yours :D
Interview with a Character!
[Intro: Excited VJ about to play clips of the interview] Today we have an exclusive interview with Miss Sable, the unicorn model who is so hot right now! We caught up with Sable while she prepared for a spring themed photo-shoot. She was gracious enough to entertain our questions while enduring the makeup chair. Though Sable was working she had such an upbeat vibe that our reporter became a fan on the spot! Sable's work is available on Tumblr dot com where she also takes time to interact with her fan base in between shows and campaigns.
1. Are you named after anyone? No. My parents just wanted to celebrate my beautiful coloring. I grew to like it since it's kind of unique. I wont lie, sounds so good when someone is moaning it 🤭
2. When was the last time you cried? Omg today! I cry a little every day on purpose after I read about a talented Korean actress who cries for hours a day. I think crying is a form of self care. We don't do it enough in this world. I want to make sure I stay connected to my emotions. It makes me more empathetic too!
3. Do you have any kids? Oh, gosh. No 🤗 I'm not even sure I'm ready to have a little pony. I guess I'd have to have a steady polycule before I even think about it.
4. Do you use sarcasm? I'm more likely to use a pun. When I'm playing I do like to be a little sarcastic and a tease. But my playmates love it, I promise.
5. Whats the first thing you notice about people? Hmm. Probably their body language and if they smile a lot. People who smile put me at ease. I also notice height. Especially if I'm working with others for the photo shoot, of course I have to asses my angles. It's important to study people's body language and how they take up space to be successful in modeling. I'm able to be versatile and I'm never caught without a good option for a pose.
6. Eye color? Blue and sparkles!
7. Scary movies or happy to endings? Always happy endings! Unless you want me to ruin it for you 😘. If it's not HEA I don't want it. That may be a little naive, or boring to some but I think that we deserve more happy endings in this life. We are so quick to accept suffering instead of demanding joy.
8. Any special talents? Being a unicorn? Haha. I don't have any real talents except being cute I think. But that's ok! I get to enjoy everyone else who is talented. Like my buddy Eagleator? He's like, the strongest fighter I know. [Reporter: You're a model and that takes some skill right?] Haha, you're so right! I forget about that because modeling is really about looks and that's out of my control, but yeah modeling is a talent.
9. Where were you born?
I was born at home. A perfect little baby if I say so myself. My mom was kind of a granola-making hippie and she made a big deal about a natural birth. Specifically I was born in a little pink kiddie pool filled with warm water, patchouli oil, and wildflowers.
10. What're your hobbies? My hobbies are collecting soft pastel sweaters, drinking hot drinks in cute giant mugs, reading fanfiction, flirting, and bingeing hallmark movies. I also like carnivals and fairs, hyperpop and EDM, supernatural romance novels. Though those probably aren't hobbies, lol. I would say daydreaming is a hobby of mine. Sometimes I get so distracted in my own head, I kind of forget what's really happening. If you could use your magical horn to zap up the perfect fantasy would you care about politics? Exactly.
11. Have any pets? Hehe, only the ones that asked to be my pets. But none right now.
12. What sports do you play/have played? Is shopping a sport? Or getting the perfect manicure? Snagging the last pair of Wolfy Choos on release day? Haha. I'm just not really competitive. If I'm going to be running around it's gonna be for pleasure or maybe to chase down a cutie to give them my number.
13. How tall are you? I'm 5'10! Not the tallest pony but I get by hehe.
14. Favorite subject in school? Ick! School is a no. I hated it. Well except for getting to meet my besties. I had a hard time in school. I'm not really smart. Oh don't take that seriously. I don't mind being empty headed. There's so many smart people and creatures in the world why should I worry about that? Honestly I learned the most at the mall when I was skipping class. The real world has a lot to teach someone if they just embrace it. I'm just not the kind of pony to care what happened last century, or how many apples johnny has. I care more about how many apples I can eat and what's going on with the next season of the bachelor!
15. Dream job? Well I actually already have my dream job, though I wouldn't say it was my dream job before I started. [Reporter: Modeling?] Oh, no. This is kind of my side thing. Right now I'm working at this innovative lab that's developing cosmetic drugs. The company is really focused on providing therapies that help others reach their desired form. I feel like, as a model, I'm selling a dream, but as a lab tech I'm actually helping to make them come true.
[Fade back to the VJ] Wow! She's so sweet. To see the full interview follow and subscribe to the network. You wont want to miss this one. Our reporter and Sable get real cozy and reveal some surprising secrets about the modeling scene. And join us at 8 for our exclusive with Eagleator to talk about his crushing defeat at the Action Forest Finals!
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sakimybeloved · 2 years
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Traitor
Hello!! This is one of mt first works! And this is a vent fic</3. I posted this on ao3 but later on decided to post it here too! Please enjoy! And please don't mind me struggling, idrk how Tumblr works😭
Warning this fic contains: One-sided love, Angst, Hurt no comfort, Swearing.
It's was a cold winter night when he broke up with me. We promised each other that once both of us healed we'd get back together and I'll be able to court him again.
I cried all night. I chose to trust his promise. I worked on myself, loved myself, i let myself heal. I held onto this promise. Rui never lied to me, he always kept his promise. "Will he really wait for you?" A voice inside my head said.
I told myself that he will keep his promise. I trusted him so much, he wont hurt me.. right? Am i starting to doubt him? I decided to brush those type of thoughts.
Me and rui still talk i always tried my best to check up on him. I noticed that he seemed to be cold or dry towards me, his mood changed whenever his "friend" was there with us, he is so moody recently.. i hope he feels better soon.
When i get home that type of thoughts flood my mind. I hate it. I don't like doubting him. But im getting suspicious of him. He won't break my heart.. right? The Rui i know doesn't lie or break his promise.. i'll just confront him about it!
He said he doesn't like anyone else, he said he likes me and im the only one he said. I trust him, i believe him. He won't lie and break my heart! "Keep telling that to yourself."
After months, i finally healed. He seem to have healed too! I decided to court him.. after months of waiting! I texted him to meet me at the park. I received a text from one of his friends it said "hey, Tsukasa i think it's time for you to know this but uh.. rui.. likes someone else. He doesn't like you.. he keeps ranting to me how tiring it is to pretend that he still likes you."
That message broke me. Tears started to flow. My sister, toya, father, mother looked at me worried. They asked what's wrong, i told them what happened. Saki and Toya were beyond mad at him. They all comforted me. I decided to continue my plan on going out with Rui but i'll confornt him about this.
Rui waved at me. I told him "Why? Did you do this to me?" He seem to took a hint on what i meant. He was quiet, so quiet. I kept on cursing at him and asking why. I said "why are you so cruel. Just why? After all i did for you. THIS IS WHAT I GET IN RETURN?" he seem shock that i shouted. All he can say is "I'm sorry." I ended up slapping him.
"I hate you. I hate you. Fuck you." I said that, while tears where flowing onto my eyes. I felt so betrayed. "How long have you liked someone else?" I asked. He didn't spoke after a few minutes he broke his silent "a few weeks after we broke up." He replied.
It hurt so much. we were together for 2 years and yet only a few weeks to move on from me. It just hurts i wanna cry more and the fact he has been lying for MONTHS. "We can stay as friends tho." He said, i replied with "okay. I need some time alone." I walked away from him.
When i arrived home, i went straight to my room. All i did was cry, and cry. I was right all along. He is a liar. I hate him so much. I wish he never finds happiness. I wish that he live a miserable life. I don't deserve to get treated like this. He is an asshole.
I have decided to forget him. After all my family will be moving to get more advanced treatment for saki. I heard that toya will be coming along because he got into a college there. I'll only focus on myself for now on. Spend time with my friends and family. I will forget about him.
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sunookkii · 3 years
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hey i know request are closed but this idea just got stuck in my mind and i wanted you to write sum about it if you like it 😭 so basically its an enha reaction/scenario ? where they forget your birthday, (maybe not in a bad way but i dont mind if its angst) hope ur good btw !! <3
a/n : OMG WAIT SRY TO ALL THE OTHER REQUESTS BUT THIS ONE FOR SUM REASON REALLY STUCK OUT TO ME i hope you enjoyyy ;) also I wrote so much I’m so sorry- [not really read proof~]
Also i am well ty for asking >.<
ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.enhypen imagine ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ
Enhypen forgetting your bday~
Genre : angsty ish
Warnings : mentions of food, crying, one swear word??
Requested : yes ty beautiful person ;)
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Heeseung :
Okay okay so its your birthdayyy and you were really excited for what to happen because you wanted to see what kind of surprise your boyfriend did for your birthday
But to your luck he forgot :(
So you spent all day giving him hints like ‘what day is it’ and at one point you gave up and started pouting really hard
And your face was just overall sad everyone else had remembered your birthday including the members, but for your boyfriend to forget it lowkey hurt
Almost half the day passed and he still didn’t remember
So you ended up going into the room by yourself and started to cry
Your whimpers got louder and louder even though you were trying your best to stay quiet so he doesn’t hear
A few minutes past by and heeseung started looking for you because he sensed something was wrong.
He looked on the calendar really really carefully and FINALLY he came to his realization that it was your birthday but it was kinda too late cuz you hid yourself in your room to cry.
He came into your room to wish you a happy birthday but he sees you curled up into a ball crying to yourself
He felt so bad after this happened, “IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME I WONT EVER GORGET AGAIN!”
He hugs you so tight as if your life depended on it, won’t leave you out of his sight for the rest of the day. You’ll be hearing a lot of hbds and ilys for the rest of the day~
^ so yeah 🤕
Jay :
I feel like it’s rare that he forgets these type of dates buut for the sake of tumblr lets pretend he completely forgot 😧
You woke up in a great mood because it was your birthday of course
You were expecting to be receive a hbd wish from your boyfriend, but nope nothing all morning.
You received a bunch of hbd wishes on Instagram and other platforms mentioning you, but none of them were from jay :(
You quickly got frustrated and because it was your birthday and your bf the person you love most didn’t remember really hurt
So gradually your face became wet from heated silent tears. But unlike heeseung he would super quickly notice because he’s on his phone a lot and he dates things like ‘y/ns bday’ (idk but I imagine him dating things on his phone)
He’d then be like OH SHIT ITS YN’s BD
Runs to you soooooo quick just to see your face red and a bit wet.
Once your eyes connected your tears started to come out quicker
He literally runs up to you to hug you HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IM SO SORRY I FORGOT
After he said that he ran away from you leaving you alone, which made your heart drop thinking that he didn’t care.
But once you finally came out of your room you were greeted with a homemade delicious cake your boyfriend made for you that looked like this
You could tell he felt really bad bc usually he always had a smile on his face while cooking but this time it was a ‘I’m sorry’ face
“I’m really really sorry please forgive me”
All was forgiven bc the cake tasted so mf ing good
Jake :
It was your birthday today, a day that only came once a year so like any other human being it’s a special day for you
You were super excited to see what Jake did for you, because every birthday you had with him was always such a surprise
But today was sort of… different? :(
You saw jake in the living room on the tv and went straight up to him with a smiley face. “GOOODMORNINGGG” 😁
After cuddling for a while on the couch you lifted up your head and asked him If he knew what day it was, he just replyed with a simple Wednesday? With a confused face
I’m pretty sure that one word was enough to make you pretty upset 😅🥲
You started to pout and went back into his chest with a disappointed face.
“Ahh what what, what day is it tell me?” He said playfully, not realizing it was your birthday.
You stayed silent as he checked his phone, ‘y/n’s birthday don’t forget’
When i tell you he gasped he GASPED.
You were already in the verge of tears “IM SO SORRY HBD BABY”
You were still a bit upset at him so you replied with ‘did you really need your phone to tell me what day it was’ 😕
He hugs you tighter while mumbling ‘hbd hbd hbd’
Suddenly let you go of his arms and said he had an errand. Without any explanation he got his car keys to go somewhere leaving you and your thoughts by yourself.
‘Does he not love me anymore that he doesn’t even want to spend time with me on my birthday? ☹️😭”
A while later he comes back and you’re luckily still on the couch where he left you
^^this dude came back with three beautiful cakes from your local cake stores. “I’m bacccckkkk!! please forgive meeeee you know i love you with all my heart 🥺” (okay i hate to use this emoji but there isn’t any other way to describe it TT)
You obviously forgave him because you know it was never his intention to forget,,, “you owe me hugs and kisses for the rest of the day :(“ kindly accepts your request because that is something he’d never complain about #freecuddlesfromyn
Sunghoon :
Okay but like hear me out he’s the type of boyfriend that would ‘pretend’ he forgot your birthday but he actually didn’t
So when he ACTUALLY forgot you just thought he was joking until…
“Hooonieeee, stop joking around I’m seriouss”
“I’m serious too i seriously don’t know what day it is”
“What…”
You leave him for a bit alone with his thoughts, not even gna lie if he did end up forgetting your bday it would take him a while to remember it
But once he remembers he feels so bad 😭
Tackles you with so many hugs and bday kisses and showers you with I’m sorrys and hbd wishes
genuinely ask himself how he forgot the lohls birthday (love of his life’s) literally beats himself for it
And you have to tell him that it’s fine and that you forgive him~
Brings out the birthday cake and sings you a happy birthday song while clapping and laughing.
Puts cake on your nose
Sunoo :
Idk if he’s the type to forget but like jay I don’t think he’d forget
I feel like to him birthdays are the MOST special thing/ date for a person
Like obviously the rest of the members think that but especially sunoo really like sticks to this
So if he had forgotten your birthday you were sooo hurt you ignored him the whole day keeping your distance until he finally remembered
Once he remembered he went to go find you ASAP where you were hiding int he corner of the bedroom moping
He showers you with hugs cuddles kisses pecks, you name it he does it
He feels so bad that he could forget smtg like this, literally asks himself how he could forget such an important date
If the convenience store was still open he’d run to the nearest store and surprise you with a birthday cake. But not just any cake it’d be a cake that was decorated by the one and only Kim Sunoo
Would prepare it so nicely and even have a lit up candle so you can wish on it.
the type to surprise you with it even though he forgot. Brings it to your room while singing the hbd song.
Puts cake frosting on your nose #2, takes lots and lots of pictures to post on insta later
caption : “happy birthday sunshine~”
Jungwon :
he was on the couch as per usual just scrolling through his phone to keep himself occupied but also updated
Not knowing what day it was,,,,,,,
you come outside of your bedroom excitedly to expect a wishful happy birthday wish from the person you love most
But for some reason it oddly seemed like a normal day
“Wonnniiieee my loveeee, guess what day it is!” You said with a sheepish smile
“Hmm wednesday?” He said looking up at you with a calm face
Your happy smile soon became a little pout
“You really don’t know?”
“Isn’t it just a regular Wednesday? Why is there something special?”
oh my- he broke your heart right then and there
You run back into your room because you feel heated tears about to fall, even though it was something small the thought of him not remembering your birthday the day of your birth hurt. A little.
Jungwon was actually super clueless he genuinely didn’t know what day it is but something about you seemed off and the way you ran to your room was quite odd to him so he went and followed you
Before he opened the door he already heard small whimpers from the corner of the bed, and that immediately triggered him and he was about to beat up anyone that made you feel sad 😠 little did he know it was him who made you feel that way
“Baby what’s wrong? Why are you crying”
He holds your chin and turns it to get a better look
wiping your tears with his thumb, you were being a dramatic his giggles make you feel a bit better even though you were mad at him for forgetting
“You forgot my birthday.” You said to him while crying
You can literally see the gears in his brain start to turn when his face went from 😄 -> 😳
“IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY” hugs you so tight that you literally can’t breathe
Doesn’t know what to do to make you feel better, “I’m really sorry for forgetting your birthday, I don’t really know what got into me, please forgive me.”< cue the cutest kitty puppy eyes
He kept on rambling on abt how he was sorry and deserves your forgiveness you literally had to shut him up, he was sorry please forgive him >~<
Cuddles you for the rest of the day
Niki :
He was playing video games normally on his phone, until you excitedly stormed into his room “hiiiii babbbbyyyy”
“Well someone is happy today :)”
“Well of course bc u know what day it isss ;)”
“Wednesday?”
😧😦 < that’s what you looked like when he didn’t know, “you really don’t remember?”
“hmm I’m not too sure” he said before going back to his game
you slowly became disappointed and just ‘celebrated’ your birthday by yourself in the kitchen. :,((
he didn’t notice that you were sad at first bc he was busy playing on his phone, around an hour later he went to the kitchen to get a snack when he sees you in the kitchen staring into space rested your chin on you arm.
‘Are you okay? You seemed fine earlier’
You decided to play the silent game and just avoided him... so he tried to get you to talk to him but after a while it didn’t work so he sort of gave up and went to ask his hyungs what’s wrong with you.
“Niki,,, it’s y/n’s birthday omg did you forget??????” Jake said texting niki
and that’s when the lightbulb in his brain turned on
He rushed to the kitchen and back hugged you so tight and gave you so many cheekie kissies to try and make up for ‘forgetting’
But to his luck you were still mad at him
Soooo he came up with the idea of going to the convenience store really quick to get you a bunch of flowers and a nice cake to surprise you~
You ended up forgiving him because he was tickling you threatening you to forgive him
N knowing Niki he’s not a person you can be mad at for long <3
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p---ink · 3 years
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What’s On Your Mind?
Author’s Note: Hi :) Remember me? I’ve missed you guys, and Tumblr altogether. I felt absolutely guilty about not writing, but the writer’s block was strong on this one guys. And while I’ve had lots of ideas for stories I couldn't quite put them onto paper...or screen. Anyway, wanted to try something new. So this one is about a Thor! I dedicate this one to you @swaggysposts​ since I know you love Chris Hemsworth. Its pretty short, but still, tell me what you think, my love! 
Summary: Avenger reader has a crush on the god of thunder.
Warnings: some lite language and fluff. 
Word Count: 4.7k
Part Two   Part Three
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“I’m sorry? Did I hear that right? You said you can what?” Mr. Stark asked, without a doubt forgetting that there were stranger things in the world. 
Clearing my voice, and speaking a bit louder I say, “I can read minds, sir.”
“That’s what I thought you said.” Stark voiced out loud placing a sleek pair of sunglasses on his face. He was still pretty skeptical of my claims, but another part of him was very anxious. Or would the word be embarrassed? Mortified? Yes that was definitely the perfect description.
Whatever the feeling was, I knew the cause was because he knew that if what I was saying was true, he would have to start groveling because of the dirty thoughts that raced through his mind when we first introduced ourselves.  
‘Forgive me for looking Pepper, but this girl has the ass of a professional volleyball player’ was what he thought as he opened the door for me on the way in.
“I can’t hear what you’re thinking though, because It only works through touch.” I lie, as I watch his worry fade away. I needed this job, and I couldn’t be disqualified because of harmless thoughts that we could all be guilty of sometimes. Besides it wasn’t Tony’s fault: these jeans did do wonders for my bottom. 
Something told me though, that if this Pepper weren’t in the picture, he’d have no problem saying what he thought of me out loud. And he was a handsome man, couldn’t be much older than 40, so maybe in another universe I’d consider him. Not this one though. 
“Hey Kid,” Stark started, interrupting my own inappropriate thoughts, “just saying ‘I can read minds’, wont be enough. You’ll have to prove it.”
“Of course! Sorry—” I was cut short by the sound of the thick glass doors of the conference room being slammed against the walls. 
A brown haired boy with deep chestnut eyes, that looked as frantic as the rest of his face, rushed out apology after apology as he took his seat next to the older man. 
Tony, who hadn’t spared the younger boy a glance, said, “Ah, perfect. Tell me what he’s thinking.”
‘Spiderling’ was the name he had assigned him through thought. As I concentrated on his confused features, he looked from me to Stark.
“What who’s thinking? Is Dad—I mean Mr. Stark, referring to me? How could she possibly do that? Oh God, he hasn’t said a word to me since I got here. He must be really upset because I’m late. Geez, I hope he doesn’t take Karen again. I’d rather he kill me.” I repeated, after relaying all of the boy’s thoughts as fast as he could think them. 
“Is she right?” Tony asked the boy. He felt both amazed and amused. Amazed with me, and amused by Spiderling for thinking of him as a dad. He would never let him live that one down. 
After swallowing his astonishment, and turning his attention from me, Spiderling answered “Yes.”
“Good. And at least we both agree on your punishment. I’d rather kill you, too. Saves me less trouble in the future.” Tony stated. He was punishing him because apparently this was the third time he’s been late to the interviews he was supposed to be in charge of. 
Spiderling let alarm overtake his features, but before he could say anything, Tony continued on with more questions. 
“Do you have any other skills, we should know about?”
“Well just a bit of hand to hand combat. But it still needs a lot of work. Other than that no—”
“How did this happen?” Spiderling interrupted, wonder getting the best of him.
“Kid,” Tony starts, but he goes ignored by Spiderling. 
“Were you bitten by some kind of radioactive insect like me? Or are you super smart like Mr. Stark? Or perhaps it was gamma radiation like Dr. Banner! Or maybe a super serum like Mr. Rogers!—”
“Don’t make me remove your batteries, junior!” Tony interrupted, then he looked to me. “I’m sorry. He’ll keep going if you don’t nip it in the bud early.”
But he didn’t have to tell me that. His own mind, like Spiderling’s, was racing a mile a minute. 
“No its fine really. He’s just curious.” I reply with a chuckle. “And to answer your question Spiderling: maybe I was born with it, or maybe its Maybeline.”
I began to grow embarrassed by their silence at my terrible joke, until Spiderling stifled a chuckle. “I get it!” He said between snickers. “Wait why’d you call me Spiderling?” He asked. ‘Is she picking on me?’ He thought. 
Needing to correct his thoughts to clear up any offense I say, “No! I would never pick on you, I just thought that was your name because Mr.—”
“Y/N, was it?” Tony interrupts, yet again. “I think you’d make an excellent addition to our team! When can you start?” 
“Really?” I ask gleaming, ignoring the fact that he wanted me to shut for outing what he really thought of his younger protégé. “I can start right away! Thank you so much for this opportunity!”
“Yeah, don’t mention it.” He hurried. “F.R.I.DAY, will prepare your room, and Peter here will show you around.”
At that Peter hopped to his feet mind racing with thoughts of excitement on the hopes of a future friendship. “Follow me!” He said, grabbing my hand.
“Not so fast, champ. I need to speak with Ms. L/N alone for a moment.” Tony stated, nodding at Peter as he excused himself from the room. 
Tony cleared his throat, and relayed his thoughts, thoughts that were hard to separate from Peter’s louder ones earlier. “So Y/N,” He started towards me, leaning in close as he chose his words carefully. “I couldn’t help but notice, that you didn’t need to touch Parker nor I to read our thoughts. Care to explain?”
Flustered at being caught I stumble across my words as I try to explain, “Ah yes, well its rare, but sometimes I don’t need to touch the person.”
“Mmm.” Tony hummed, not believing a word I said, and I knew then the gig was up.
Cocking my head, and wearing a semi-sympathetic expression I say, “Don’t worry. I don’t even know who Pepper is.” 
And before Stark could protest, I ran to Peter’s side, so we could begin the tour around my new home. 
That was all a little over eight months ago. And so much had changed now. Peter’s hopes became true. We were the best of friends. His boy-like charm never grew old to me, and nor did my gifts to him.
“Cerulean” I’d say, when he’d think things like ‘What’s your favorite color?’. He always thought questions like that as a sort of game. I never got tired of playing along. 
It seemed to never click in his mind though that he could never scare or surprise me when he hid behind corners or couches, because I could hear his thoughts before he got the chance to. 
But besides the little stunts he’d try to pull by hiding his thoughts in order to frighten me, Peter was as transparent as they were. The boy was an open book, and he rarely kept a secret. It made us perfect friends, because he never seemed to get tired of me knowing every single detail about him. 
Though the other avengers treated me like family, Peter seemed to be the only one welcoming of my “gift”. 
If you asked Steve, he’d think something along the lines of “I’m too old for this shit” when I’d answer questions he hadn’t had the chance to ask. Then he’d immediately curse himself, for thinking a swear word when I’d tease him with one of the team’s inside jokes, like “language.”
Bucky tried his hardest to keep his thoughts in a vault, but it never worked. I knew exactly how many dead bodies he had under his belt, and where he kept his hidden stash of plums. 
Natasha, however, never tried to hide her kill count. She always made it a point to up the number by one as a threat to me, every time I accidentally crept inside her head. I always made it a point to keep my distance whenever she was deep in reflection.
Banner was interesting. His mind had two voices of course, and neither one of them gave a shit about whether I heard them or not. There were the deep thoughts that I struggled to understand most of the time, then others were one-word sentences only. They were louder than the rational side of his brain. 
“La, la, la, la, la”, was literally all that Sam would think whenever there was something he wanted to hide. Sometimes he’d do it just to piss me off, because he knew if I said to ‘knock it off’, he could accuse me of evading his thoughts in the first place. 
In truth, I never tried to read what they were thinking. I found the process invasive, and distracting from my own feelings. I worked hard to shut it all out, doing my best to make truth of that lie I told Stark all those months ago. But it was very draining, and took more energy than my body could exert. One person was easy enough to ignore, but more than ten, proved to be a task.
Most of my entire life I spent working in order to shut out all of the world around me. I avoided crowds whenever I could, blasted my music through my headphones whenever I couldn’t, and made sure to drug my body heavily with painkillers and vitamins whenever the last two weren’t options. 
It was so much work just to go out into the world. So much work until I met him. 
The son of Odin was the only person whose thoughts I would pay to hear. Coincidentally, he was also the only person who’s thoughts I couldn’t read. I could never hear him, I would only ever feel him. He radiated a rare intensity I had never felt before. His thoughts, or should I say feelings, even managed to drown out all of those around him. I had no choice but to focus on him whenever he was around. 
When I was with him, he literally clouded my brain. I didn’t have to work to shut him or the others out. He did it for me. 
I usually thought that was refreshing. But in the time I grew to know him, I found it mostly frustrating at times. 
You could say I liked him, but that would be putting it lightly. 
Liking someone for me, was a rare luxury. My crushes were always narrowed down to celebrities, and other people who didn’t know I existed. 
It was a pain to date people whose thoughts about you were always on display.
And if you thought dating was hard as a telepath, try having sex. Imagine being able to hear all of your partner’s most inner thoughts about the faces you make when you cum, or discovering that you have a small birthmark on your ass that you would otherwise know nothing about. 
Yeah, it wasn’t the greatest experience.  
I had never experienced the actual joys of feelings for someone, and wondering if they liked me back. Thor was my first. And chances are, he would never feel the same way. 
He was a literal god, and he lived up to that fact. I was just an average Midgardian, with a silly school-girl crush. It would never happen. 
Silly thing that Fate was. She had to make the only man I found irresistible, unattainable too. What a bitch. 
“Hey. Are you ready?” Natasha asked referring to our daily training. 
“Yes, what’s on the agenda today?” I ask, a bit confused that she isn’t in her workout attire. 
“Well you’ll h–”
“What? Why?” I squeak, before she can finish her thought…well before she can finish her sentence. According to her thoughts, I’d now be training with Odinson.
“I think you’ve graduated from me, kiddo. You can read my thoughts fast enough to predict as well as react to all of my oncoming moves.” Natasha relayed, a hint of sadness detectable through her words. Though she behaved like an older sister to me, she would miss throwing me around on the mat. “We’ll have to see how you do against someone whose actions you can’t predict, just in case that problem comes up out in the field.” She informed me while walking away, before I could confront her. 
“Can’t it be someone else?” I yell to her, but she doesn’t answer. 
“You wound me, Y/N.” That deep familiar voice bellowed from behind me. “And here I thought you enjoyed my company.”
Oh you have no idea, I thought to myself, as I spun on my feet to face him. I craned my neck to peer up at his eyes. One was a pretty hazel, while the other a deep blue. Cerulean. Funny how he’s the reason I’ve grown so fond of the color after all of these months.
“It’s not that I don’t like you. I just don’t think its fair is all. You know? With you being a god.”
“You’re worried you won’t be able to handle me? Do not fret. I wouldn’t dream of giving you more than you could handle.” He said, wiggling his brows suggestively, while flashing a smile. I suppose I failed to mention that he was a massive flirt that could put even Tony Stark to shame. “I promise to take it easy on you.” He furthered, smirking and winking his hazel orb.
“Why do I feel like your idea of taking it easy is vastly different from mine.” I say, trying to settle the butterflies. 
“Whatever you’ve heard about me is nonsense. I’m a merciful master.” He assured.  “We’ll just do some light work today: of course we’ll start with stretching, then 30 laps around the facility to build your stamina, a few hours of work on the machines to build your muscle—because my lady you are a dainty little thing, and then we’ll end the day with an hour or two of sparring.” 
At the sight of my dumbstruck face, Thor says, “I’m sorry that must be too light. How does 50 laps and three hours of sparring, sound?”
“Are you joking?”
“You’re right. I have some matters to attend to on Asgard, but I think we can squeeze in 75 laps, take it or leave it.”
Realizing how deathly serious he was, I quickly say, “I’ll leave it. Let’s get started.”  Deciding to address the subject of excessive training later, I turn to begin my stretches. 
Quiet. As usual. I was alone with my thoughts, which was something that only happened quite literally when I was alone. I couldn’t help but be immensely aware of his presence.
Moments like these i’d die to know what he was thinking. Especially when I could feel his stare. It burned worse than fire on my skin. 
Fire couldn’t compare to his actual touch, however. The same touch I now felt on my upper back.  For a man who weighed over 600 pounds, he was as stealthy as a cat when he wanted to be. His thick fingers against my spine raised goosebumps to my flesh. I would have jumped out of my body if he wasn’t there to keep me grounded. 
“My apologies. It was not my intention to startle you.” He informed, through a deep hearty chuckle. “I just needed to correct your form. Your time on the field will suffer if you continue with your training like this.” 
“Oh.” I replied, tensing a bit as one of his hands traveled around to my stomach and the other pushed against my spine to straighten my posture. My mind was hazy, and if I had even understood the words he spewed a moment ago, that status now changed.
“It all makes me wonder what the Lady Spider has been teaching you.” He continued, as if he didn’t notice the change in my demeanor. “Better.” 
When he stepped away from me, I released a small shaky breath. “What’s on your mind?” He asked. Maybe he did notice the change.
I mentally decided that I would ask him the months-long question I had always wondered about. “What’s on yours.” I state instead of ask, trying to resume my stretches.
“Pardon?” Thor asked. “Do you wonder about what is I ponder? Or is that your answer?
“Both.” I say without hesitation. “Why can’t I read your mind?”
“I’m afraid that’s by design, my lady.”
I stop stretching and turn around to ask, “How?” He had my full attention now. 
Shortly after he corrected my posture, Thor had propped himself up against one of the machines to properly examine my form while I stretched. I tried to ignore how awkward that made me feel. 
“Since an early age I’ve had to learn to guard my thoughts.” He stated. “My brother is the God of Mischief, and Loki often played games of the mind. Mother took notice of how much it was ailing me, and taught me a few useful tricks on how to keep him out. I guess I’ve always practiced them, even in his absence. I don’t know if I even know how to stop it.”
“Oh.” I breathed out. Trying to make sense of his words. 
While I was doing that, he asked,“May I ask why it is you wish to know? I thought you hated your gift.”
“I do. But I guess it still feels odd to not be able to use it on someone. I have no clue what you’re thinking let alone how you feel about me. It unsettles me.” I immediately regretted saying the last part as soon as it was out. 
His reaction did not aid my embarrassment. A thunderous laugh erupted from his throat. It was the kind of laugh that you could feel in your abs, and I knew this because his whole torso shook as it spread through his vocal cords. He was genuinely amused. 
His amusement prompted me to ask, “What’s so funny?”
“How I feel about you.” I think he mutter softly, before following a little louder to himself, “It’s weakened you.” 
“What did you say?” I never had to ask someone to repeat themselves unironically, until I met him. 
“Your ability I mean. It has impaired you.”
“I don’t understand what you mean.”
“I think the word is ‘spoiled’. Yes that seems to be the perfect descriptor.” He teased.
His words made me feel small and silly. Almost insignificant. “Excuse me?”
Sensing my irritation, he quickly told me, “I meant no disrespect. Its just most of your kind and some of mine are not awarded the same privileges that you have. We rely on body language and hidden meanings behind words to determine how someone feels. Well with the exception of me of course, because who would not adore me?” He joked. “But that’s beside the point. You have not yet learned how to read between the lines. Which is why I unsettle you.”
“I know how to read body language, I’m not an idiot.” I say a bit more sharply than I intended. My sense of inferiority getting the best of me.
“I’m not implying that you are, just that if it were not for your talent you would know have known what was on my mind ages ago.”
“That makes no sense. If I couldn’t read minds, i’d be in the same place I am now: unable to know what it is you think.”
“My dear, even if you could read my mind it would make no difference, for I’ve already made my feelings towards you painfully clear. One need not the aid of your capabilities.”
“Thor, could you stop the riddles—”
He ignored my pleas and kept going. “But just to be explicitly clear this time, since obviousness is lost on you—” 
“Stop insulting—”
“I shall tell you how I feel about you.” He stepped and leaned in closer, as if what he was about to say was a secret meant for only my ears.  “Listen closely because I will say this but once, so be wary not to misunderstand: I desire you.” He explained, words dripping with the utmost sincerity. 
My brain started racing. And I suddenly realized just how close he was. “You desire me?” I repeated to myself.
“Yes. I desire you.” He stated again, anticipating my uncertainty. 
If my heart wasn’t beating fast before, it surely was now. My poor ribcage wasn’t built for this.
“A-A-as a friend right?” I stutter out. “Because we aren’t, we aren’t close, like the rest of the team? Yes,” I breathe out. “That has to be what you mean.” I say that last part more to myself than to him. Clearly I’ve misunderstood his words, even though he warned me not to.
“While I would value a companionship, I’m afraid that is not all I mean when I say I desire you.”
“Eerr” Words are hard to form all of the sudden. Stammering out sounds is all that I can do. 
The air around us stilled, and it was pregnant with silence. He gave me a moment to think before asking, “Would you like further explanation.”
“Yes please.” I rush out quickly. “I think that will clear things up a bit more.”
“Right it would. Well If you wish to know what’s on my brain when you’re near, I shall tell you.” His words are teasingly slow, and he knows this.
"But I doubt,” He continues, “i’ll be able to properly convey just how bad I long to be in your presence when you are gone. Just how much I battle myself when it comes to finding any excuse to touch you. As you know, I lost one of those battles today. I don’t know if you can handle, just how much I imagine your warm embrace to be. How tender I’ve imagined your lips to feel. I just know them to be softer than rose petals and sweeter than nectar.”
“In fact,” He started. I could almost physically see the lightbulb go off over his head. And then, he began ridding us of the rest of our space, extending his long arm to snake around my waist, and pulling me against his chest at a speed faster than lighting. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to put that theory to test.”
It was like a lucid dream. I was only allowed to watch everything play out before me, without the luxury of making any actions myself. It took great focus on my part to even will my head to move. My nod was so subtle I was unsure if he could even see it. But the God of Thunder had more than enough to go off on.
He joined the hand around my waist with his other, and shortly after I could feel my feet rise from the ground. My hands that were previously glued to his chest, found their place behind his neck to support the rest of my body. His head met me the rest of the way, before he blanketed his lips over mine.  
He released one of the hands around my waist, to bring it up to my face. His fingers, now fastened to my jaw, slightly parted my lips allowing him to further explore my mouth with his. As massaged my tongue with his own, I could feel his eyelashes dance across my cheeks. That’s how close he was.
Most beards are scratchy and rough, but his felt like silk against my skin. His lips were even softer, and were like velvet in comparison. 
I inhaled the scent of rain on freshly cut grass. It reminded me of dewy meadows and Irish springs. His touch was firm, but he managed to hold me with care, like a bull who had trained for years with the sole purpose of entering a china shop. 
He tasted like what summer felt like, if you could make sense of it. The kiss had the same intensity behind severe thunderstorms. Beautiful but deadly. I found myself teetering on the edge of a cliff: desperate to chase this thrill, but also wary of whether or not it was worth dying for. 
I mentally decided that I could expire in his arms, and be perfectly content with that decision.
I got more into it. I thought that if this was a dream I’d take full advantage of it. Surely dream Thor would be fine with me taking over the kiss. It felt only natural. 
I decided it was time for my tongue to do the exploring. My lips needed to memorize the feel of his. My hands wanted to study every strand of hair that lived on the nape of his neck. That was only fair right?
I was enjoying his embrace so much, that I mistook the spinning in my head for shock from kissing a god, instead of the telltale signs of an impending headache. The lack of air in my lungs was because he took my breath away in a figurative sense, instead of the literal physical sense it actually was. The ache that spread throughout my body wasn’t because of the suffocating grip he had to keep me pressed to his chest, but because our bodies were on the brink of fusing into one. 
On second thought, maybe dying in his arms is more painful than I previously thought. 
I tapped out, and he immediately released me, placing me gently on the ground. I struggled for air, but it was like he didn’t miss a beat. Not a drop of sweat in sight on his gorgeous face. Instead, I could see a bright smile forming. 
“Are my thoughts clear enough, now?” He asked, breaking out into smirk.
But I had no time to acknowledge his joke, for I could feel reality setting back in. And reality is, I was a flustered fuck. 
“I’m sorry.” I stammered. “I must be holding you from your business on Asgard!”
“What? No—”
But he had no time to argue, for in a flash I was already gathering my gym bag and heading for the door.
“What about your training?” I heard him yell.
“I’m sorry! Maybe another time!” And after that, I practically sprinted to get out of earshot before he could protest or stop me. 
I raced passed Peter who was on his way into the gym. “Y/N! Are you okay?” I heard him yell. But what was strange is that I couldn’t hear him think it, despite being more than enough distance away from Thor.
“I’m fine.” I yelled back, hoping he wouldn’t follow. Maybe Peter’s mouth was faster than his thoughts.
No. That wasn’t it, because as I raced through the tower, everyone’s minds were silent, even though they were chatting casually with one another. That never happened. 
I burst through the nearest lady’s room, desperate to calm my nerves, when I saw Natasha applying red lipstick.  The action by itself wasn’t disturbing, but the expression she wore was.
“Don’t tell the others.” She voiced, in a threatening tone.
“Don’t tell the others what?” I asked confused. Maybe she’d be able to take my mind off of things. 
She looked at me like I had grown two heads, much like the first day we met when I proved that I could read her thoughts. “I know you read them. But this is different Y/N, the guys will never let me live this one down.”
“Nat, what are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the date.”
“You’re going on a date?” No wonder she was so panicked. The woman was more comfortable with killing than she was with being vulnerable.
“Yes—What is wrong with you?” She half-yelled, interrupting herself as if she just realized something was wrong.
I had, had enough with trying to not think about him, because the task was damn near impossible so I decided to just say it. “Thor admitted his feelings for me. And then we kissed!” I cried. 
Oh, Nat mouthed, taking a more comfortable position against the bathroom sink. She leaned against its counter, and crossed her arms,“And now you can’t take your mind off of him.”
It was my turn to look at her like she was a lunatic. “How did you know that? Are you a mind-reader too?”
Song for the Chapter: Waiting For You by the Aces:  Pretty Self-explanatory lyrics. Think of the song from Thor’s POV
part II
A/N: If you made it this far, don’t be afraid to tell me what you think :)
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giowritess · 4 years
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— prompt & trope list  —
Tumblr media
p r o m p t & trope l i s t  —   m a s t e r l i s t
 — under the cut you have a compilation of prompts and tropes I’ve created and found here on Tumblr and internet. 
— don’t forget to check my fandoms post to see who and what I write for!
TROPES
1. Christmas
2. New Year
3. Valentine’s Day
4. Mother’s Day
5. Father’s Day
6. Wedding
7. Arranged marriage
8. Babysitter
9. Coffee shop
10. Book store
11. Fake dating/marriage
12. Forbidden love
13. Pet store
14. Parent
15. Teacher
16. Flower shop
17. Locked in a room
18. Bed sharing
19. Stranded due to weather
20. Next door neighbors
21. Bakery
FLUFF/GENERAL/ROMANCE
1. You seem like a bad boy/girl/person type. 2. Oh my god, did you just say that out loud? 3. You expecting someone? 4.Do you need a place to stay for tonight? 5. Look at us, we’re basically a couple already. 6. Compliments won’t pay my drinks. 7. Maybe, just maybe, if I get a free drink I might consider talking to you. 8. That won’t work. Try again. 9. You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions. 10. Do you trust me? 11. Can I kiss you? 12. It’s lonely here without you. 13. Is that my shirt? 14. You own my heart. 15. We’re more than friends and you know it! 16. I don’t wanna sleep alone tonight. 17. It was you the whole time. 18. I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending they’re you. 19. I’m not going anywhere. 20. You make me want things I can’t have. 21. Steal the blankets again and I’ll put my cold feet on you. 22. You’re in love with her. 23. I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge. 24. Are you even listening to me?! 25. I didn’t think you could get any less romantic. 26. You make everyday worth living. 27. You’ve shown me what love feels like. 28. You’ve always felt like home. 29. I can’t imagine a world/life without you. 30. I am home. 31. I’m right where I belong. 32. Can’t you stay a little longer? 33. You’re the only one I wanna wake up next to. 34. You make me want to be better. 35. I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me. 36. I think you’re just afraid to be happy. 37. Why haven’t you kissed me already? 38. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. 39. I can’t stay away from you. 40. I’m better when I’m with you. 41. I tried my best not to feel anything for you, but I failed. 42. I don’t want to be alone right now.  43. I don’t trust myself around you. 44. I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me before. 45. Can we just lie here for a moment? 46. I’ve never hated you. You just... make me feel things I don’t understand. 47. If you don’t tell me to stop, I’m going to kiss you. 48. I could get used to waking up next to you, actually. 49. Please, don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry. 50. You’re a terrible liar. 51. You’re the only person I want to be with tonight. 52. You’re not going anywhere. 53. You were always good for me. 54. You’re more than just a one night stand. 55. I’ve been falling in love with you since the first day we met.
ANGST & SAD
1. I can’t stand the thought of you. 2. Don’t fuck this up. 3. How stupid do you think I am? 4. You broke my heart and all you can say is sorry? 5. Don’t you dare to leave me. Not now. 6. I’m dying. There’s nothing you can do about it. 7. I’m not gonna lie. This isn’t how I planned for this to go down. 8. I can’t do the things you do. 9. I might never get another chance to say this. 10. Tell me I’m wrong. 11. How much of that did you hear? 12. I thought I could trust you. 13. Are you just going to leave me here? 14. Don’t. I don’t have to hear your pathetic excuses anymore. 15. You knew about this all along, didn’t you? 16. I still believe there’s a good person in you. 17. It was necessary. 18. I’m sorry this had to go down like this. 19. What the hell is wrong with you?! 20. Is that how little you think of me? 21. I’m too sober for this shit. 22. It’s not that easy. 23. You’re more than that. 24. She’s hot, but she’s evil. 25. Well, behaved women rarely make history, do they? 26. That’s not what I meant and you know it. 27. I have to tell you something. 28. Why am I not surprised? 29. She’s not yours. 30. There’s no us. There never was. 31. I made a mistake. 32. Please, don’t walk out that door. 33. When were you going to tell me? 34. The worst thing is, that even after all of that, I’m still in love with you. 35. Would you just shut up and listen to me for two goddamn seconds? 36. If i asked you to stay, would you? 37. I don’t know who you are anymore. 38. I trusted you. 39. Hang on. You’re gonna be okay. Keep breathing. 40. You crossed a line. 41. There’s no turning back from this. 42. I needed you, and you weren’t there.
SMUT — 18+
1. Don’t make me take you home and punish you. 2. I’ve never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly. 3. You’re more than just a one night stand. 4. Like what you see? 5. Try to stay quiet, understand? 6. We’re in public, you know. 7. I really don’t care. You still look hot and i’m trying not to kiss/fuck you senseless right now. 8. Are you sure? Once we start, i might not be able to stop. 9. Make me. 10. Stop teasing me so much. 11. You’re in trouble now. 12. First one to make a noise loses. 13. Mine. 14. Behave. 15. What did you just say? 16. Come here. 17. Watch me. 18. If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god. 19. If you insist. 20. Could he make you feel as good as i do? 21. You make a sound and its game over. 22. If i have to stop what i’m doing, you wont be able to walk for the next week. 23. I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet. 24. C’mere, you can sit on my lap until i’m done working. 25. What? Does that feel good? 26. If we get caught i’m blaming you. 27. We have to be quiet. 28. Tell me again. 29. Say it. 30. If you don’t like my teasing, then why are you moaning? 31. I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole. 32. You better shut that pretty little mouth before i put it to work, doll. 33. I really want to kiss you right now. 34. Then do it. 35. You’re not taking me to bed. Ever. 36. Who said it had to be on the bed? 37. She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but i bet behind closed doors she’s latex and whips. 38. Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. Thats cute. 39. Don’t fucking touch what is not yours. 40. I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not. 41. There’s people here. 42. I don’t care what you do,  just fuck me. 43. Fuck you. 44. I’m not going to touch you unless you beg. 45. You can’t tease me like that and expect not to be punished. 46. I’m gonna strangle you. 47. Is that a promise? 48. You look a bit tied up, want me to come back later? 49. Stop distracting me. 50. I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that. 51. Saddle up doll. 52. What are you doing in my bed?! 53. If you're going to act like a little brat then I'm going to treat you like a little brat. 54. You'd better be quiet or everyone's going to know what a naughty little slut you are. 55. Look at you, I've only started using my fingers and you're already shaking. 56. I can't wait to be on my knees for you later. 57. Oh honey, you know, you really shouldn't tease me. 58. If you keep making those sounds I'm not going to be able to stop myself. 59. Such a needy little thing, aren't you? 60. You better watch your fucking mouth. 61. I love the way you look with my fingers inside you. 62. Wanna see what I'm wearing underneath all this? 63. I wonder what your girlfriend/boyfriend would do if they knew what you were doing right now. 64. Do you know how beautiful you are? It's truly distracting. 65. If you leave the house wearing that then the second you get back home I'm going to bend you over that bed. 66. I'm gonna fuck you in front of the mirror, I want you to see how pretty you look when you're spreading your legs for me. 67. Let me show you what happens to little brats who don't follow the rules. 68. You know, there wasn't a single thing to eat in the kitchen until you walked in.
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g0dtier · 3 years
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Ok look even i realize i cant make a post like that before elaborating so as someone who has an art degree, was groomed themselves and was raised by someone who worked with teenagers who were groomed specifically for 20 years, heres my take on why tumblrs mentality towards fiction (&real degeneracy) is wrong and what you can do to help victims
Im gonna leave out the whole "fiction = reality" shit because at this point everyone knows it doesnt, they just cherry pick where to believe it does. This is not a black and white issue. Fiction may bring up something that was already there, but since none of us are shooting celebs because of books or molesting animals cause furry shit exists, its safe to say theres a line. 1000s of teen boys idealize that one dipshit from fight club. 99% grow out of it. The few that dont were already fucked up and wouldve ended up blowing some shit up either way. No, ao3 is not normalizing pedophilia and you are in no way helping victims. Youre kind of being a detriment.
Pedophiles may use fiction to groom kids, but they did that before fandom existed as well. There is no big difference between using fiction of 2 teens vs fiction of 2 adults to groom a kid cause a pedophile will either say "youre so much more mature than these fictional kids" or "youre so mature for your age you might as well be an adult, i think this fictional adult couple really represents us" and the minor will still take it as a compliment because that is the point of the action. The reason the abusers can take advantage of them is because they want that validation, for reasons listed below. The form that validation comes in doesnt matter.
Tumblrs mentality is purely focused on outrage. Its about hating the perpetrators and pretending people who arent perpetrators actually are, not about helping the victims.
People here have a wrong idea of what a relationship between a minor & pedophile looks like & how they function. People forget that while to us normal people the minors come across as victims in a horrifying situation (which they are), to the minors themselves it doesnt look anything like that. The problem with many of these relationships is not that the minors dont know what theyre doing or are doing it against their will, the problem most of the time is that they, in their minds, are active participants who choose to do this.
Pedos often actively look for kids in fragile situations. No self esteem, bad home life, severe depression. These are the reasons kids want the validation i listed before. Theyre vulnerable to it because they dont get any of it anywhere else and here theres an adult figure just giving it to them.
The point of a grooming is to give the kid validation and make the kid rely on them. To make the kid believe that the adult is the only one who understands them. Its to put the responsibility of the abusers mental wellbeing on the kids' shoulders in the kids' head. And 99% of the time kids already have a close relationship with the abuser when it gets to that point because of aforementioned validation. They create codependency.
So you know what angrily screeching "pedophile!" at any adult interacting on any level with a teenager does? It gives the abuser a reason to call themselves the victim and itll give the minor, whos likely already reluctant to be open about something an abuser does making them uncomfortable because many of them already have low self esteem and dont trust their own judgment and are scared of the consequences (for example: losing what to them is the only person that understands them) even less likely to talk about it. Because regardless of what tumblr thinks, most of these kids do not realize theyre being abused until much later. Theyre not waiting for someone to give them an out.
And no, no matter how hard you try, youre never gonna convince teens that the person theyre talking to is abusing them. Almost every single victim talks about how they hate abusers but how theirs isnt one, adults included. Theyre just misunderstood, or lonely, or really didnt mean it like that. Teens arent gonna listen to randos on the internet trying to convince them the 23yo who "relies on them for help and who is only in love with them, a 15yo, because theyre just really special and cool" is an abuser. Teens are gonna do stuff behind the back of others and lie about it because teens have a really bad case of "dont tell me what to do" syndrome.
What you CAN do to help teens:
- vote for more funding to health care, specifically mental health care. I know everyone rags on cps but cps does not take away children for no reason and will ALWAYS strife to work it out with the parents by offering personal help if possible
- strife to create a safe space for teens to talk about their experiences. Demonizing any adult interacting with children, no matter how creepy it may seem to you or me, makes the victims more reluctant to come forward. Theyre abuse victims. Adult abuse victims dont respond well to "girl youre being abused leave him!!" either. They respond a lot better to "wow dont you think he shouldnt treat you like that? Dont you think your feelings matter and hes being unfair to you?". You need to demonize the actions, not the context of the relationship because teens have already decided the context itself is fine and its usually not what they have a problem with and they wont till theyre older, no matter how hard you try to convince them.
- giving teens safe spaces to learn/talk about sex and what is or isnt right in a relationship. Most pedophiles are not stable. Theyre often codependent or manipulative or overbearing. Teach kids how to recognize these signs and that theyre not ok.
What doesnt help teens:
- taking down ao3 or yelling that some horndog on twitter drew an adult character looking too young. Taboo fiction is not linked to actual degeneracy and doesnt normalize any of it and is not a more succesful tool to help groom kids than anything else. Pretending it is will make minors less likely to seek help tho because the fear of backlash as stated above.
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i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut
-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago
-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday
-neil cicierega real person momence
-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here
-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson
-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that
-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me
-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times
-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album
-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil
-seesaw effect
-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on
-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange
-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like
-"this part sounds pretty cool right"
-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that
-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on
-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time
-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!
-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know
-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro
(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)
-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.
-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised
-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright
-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway
-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation
-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest
-good god that does only make it worse neil
-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever
-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget
-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this
-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one
-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud
-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that
-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop
-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now
-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above
-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.
-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3
-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3
-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that
-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon
-jirls
-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man
-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album
-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care
-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time
-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way
-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird
-iron my life?
-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up
-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least
-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)
-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder
-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega
-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3
-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean
-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about
-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president
-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon
-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album
-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better
-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil
-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it
-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely
-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience
-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.
-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work
-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)
-spinch
-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil
-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!
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lightsintheskye · 4 years
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Ahhh I have a lot of messages in my inbox right now (over like ...2000; ) but this one just jumped out at me from yesterday and I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I’m sorry if this is a long long response (l’ll screenshot it as a textpost so it doesn’t clog someones feed) but I just, with how hypercritical social media makes us about ourselves and others its important to acknowledge bullying and how exposed we are to it. If anyone reading this is also struggling with this topic right now please read below. Remember I’m not a licensed therapist but I’ve had a lot of experience with bullying so read below if you like-
For the most part, the big two are finding a positive support network and focusing on things that make me happy. I’m not unscathed, I have clinically diagnosed MDD, Anxiety, and PSTD, but I’ve learned to manage these things. If you need to take a break from social media, do it- do your best to be your own curator of positivity. If social media is one of your few solaces, create a special account for yourself that just follows what you love. Remember that YOU are the one in control of your social media feed and are responsible for what you see.
1. Support Network:
Find a group that you can trust, and do you best to talk about your feelings and experiences in a constructive way(see no 5). That being said respect your support network, always ask if it’s ok to vent to them and don’t treat others as emotional dumping grounds. I know trusting people is incredibly hard, I still struggle with it (my own support network is literally two people but I also practice a lot of behavioral therapy since a lot of medications unfortunately don’t work for me) but you can not go through life second guessing every action (fuck you, anxiety). If your situation is such that you don’t think you have friends you can talk to, your college might have a therapist you can talk to for free. There are also online sites and hotlines that offer the same free services. Sometimes it takes a few therapists to find one that works for you, but sometimes its easier to talk to a friend rather a stranger- and therapy might not always be available to everyone. Google is your friend for finding constructive options.I know it’s hypocritical since this is a tumblr post, but do research on your own from reputable sites and sources for healthy coping.
2. Don’t bottle it up: I used to be incredibly quiet about any sort of stress or bullying I received in the past. I used to lie about never being bullied or harassed after middle school, but the only person that ended up hurting is myself. I don’t think I’ll ever be perfectly fine, but talking about it helps more than you think. I’m not saying to blast it out to everyone exactly how you’re feeling 24/7 but take time to trade woes with a close friend every week or so. Just don’t forget to celebrate the good when and where you can- this world has so much that makes it suck, but there’s also a lot that we can enjoy- too.
3. Bullies seriously suck, but don’t become one:
In my experience, very few bullies ‘grow up’ if they’re still bullying people in college, they just kinda get better at hiding it. This usually manifests behind passive aggressive comments, and or just talking behind someones back and hiding behind a screen to say things. Even in grad school I’ve witnessed "adults” being shitty to each other twitter, on insta, on discord, on tumblr, on A03- you name it. Bullies can come from anywhere, and be anyone, and bully for any reason. People who were bullied sometimes become bullies themselves in a way to gain back sense of power- but their own abuse doesn’t make abusing others right. In the past I’ve had comments and emails telling me everything from childish bullying to literally telling me to kill myself. Negative comments about my appearance, the way I talk, the way I draw, my hobbies,my choice of schooling (which ??????),  harassment about my choice of friends and the people I associate myself with. People who seek negativity will find any reason to slight another. But know that harassment is harassment regardless of why, so even if you’re angry bullying someone back really wont change much. I can think of nothing more toxic than willingly engaging with your bullies in order to find ways to ‘get back’ at them. The beauty of being online is that you can just leave a site, hit a block button, and even make a new name for yourself. Do your best to limit interaction with them. Do not put yourself in situations that involve them. Do not cyber stalk them (yes, repeatedly checking their tumblr/fb/instagram to criticize and mock their every post, or find every person they talk to “whistle-blow” on them is a form of defamation of character and cyber-stalking). Doing this will only invite negative emotions and make you start to hyper fixate. It’s an easy two way street that will invite people to do the same to you- and unless you’re the next coming of Christ someone will inevitably find out something negative about you. Do not hold people to standards that you yourself cannot achieve. You may be more morally inclined than your bully but no one one is perfect. You will never be able to please everyone. It is not your job to do so. 
4. Report, Put Away, Ignore: If these people are saying things to you that can be documented and reported to your school (assuming these are classmates that you can prove have done things) then take a screenshot if possible and report it. It’s a gamble to have anything done about it, some schools are shit about bullying, but some schools aren’t. Recently in my case, in grad school there was a bullying incident and we were incredibly afraid of what the bullies would do if they found out who exactly reported them, but thankfully I had friends help us report it- so multiple reports from anonymous sources made it hard for them to pin point it was someone finally standing up. Some colleges will take defamation of character (which, as an adult, is really what a lot of bullying is) very seriously and amazingly- that bully completely changed. I would not call them a friend, but for now their apology seems sincere and they’ve worked towards being a better person. So, if you choose to report it, after reporting, put that shit away and don’t keep looking at it, find a way to make it really hard to look at over and over. Put it in a folder within a folder within seven folders if you have to BECAUSE- 5. You HAVE to work towards moving ON or it will consume you.
Way, way easier said than done. I’m not saying so much ‘be the better person’ as to just ...seriously remove yourself from that shit as fast as you can. You owe nothing to the people that hurt you, but giving them more of your time over and over if you have the option not to is only going to end in you getting angrier or more upset yourself. The first time something hurts you, put a warning label on it, if it continues to hurt you, do not engage.
The internet can be so toxic- a lot of bullying is masked as “call-out culture” from minor things that happened years ago, it validates the worst forms of “coping” possible. It creates such a bad system of alarm fatigue for when real issues are happening, and creates a hive mind of abuse and hyper criticism where everyone is looking for the next target. There’s an extreme difference if a “bully” disagrees with your favorite ship or show and harasses you about it, or if someone is literally harassing you as an individual by telling you to self harm or worse. Treat your emotional scars like an actual wound; if you keep picking at it and ripping off the band aid to see if its still there its never going to heal. The scars might still be there and will still be visible on some days, but you’ll no longer be bleeding at the slightest brush. Learn to grow, learn to let others grow. Learn to trust again, and learn to try and be happy with who you are and who your friends are as you know them.  A big reason why I stepped away form the internet is that I found myself looking to validation in terms of popularity. And when i finally had it- I realized how toxic it ended up being for my health. I’d spend hours just to make a comic even at the cost of sleep or food, and 100 positive comments couldn’t stop my brain from fixating on ten that were negative or downright harassment. Even as I step back on the internet, I’m doing it from a much better place internally. It’s so so important not to get lost in numbers and online “validation.” Please just know eventually things will get better, and those that matter will stick around to be there to see your growth. People will always find something to give you shit about, but only you can determine how much it affects you. Recognize your emotions, process them, and take responsibility for them. Let your self-worth be determined by your own actions and words, not the actions or words of others.
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xmemeanonx · 4 years
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*listening to friends and right here by chase atlantic* the angst you could come up with these songs are wonderful! And scary but like I was just getting inspiration for like yandere teenage damian and reader just having trouble with one another... In the most Wattpad fanfic way possible it was awesome (off topic but I have this odd version of older damian I could talk about him but I'm running out of words for Tumblr!!)
* Vietnam war flashbacks of when I wrote stupid shit on wattpad * Oof, sure why not! Please tell me your odd version of older Damian! I’d love to hear it! Enjoy, darling!
= = =
Romantic! Yandere! Damian Wayne: possessive, stalker, obsessive, manipulative
= = =
You have imagined what being in love would feel like. A warm, fuzzy feeling whenever you thought of person. Always thinking of them, especially in your darkest moments.
Being loved, an exciting thought that helps you fall asleep at night, yet inspires you to wake up in the morning.
You thought your life would be perfect when you met the one. But it has been anything but.
= = =
Your interactions with him leave you feeling cold and unwanted. Nothing you do ever seems to make him happy. You sometimes wonder if you’ll one day have to tear yourself apart to just see him smile.
You haven’t seen your friends in weeks. They’ve tried to talk and text you, but you just ignore them, hearing his voice ringing in your head,
“I don’t like your friends. Stop hanging out with them.”
You know that you shouldn’t listen to him, but you love him too much to risk the chance of his walking out on you too.
= = =
Lying on your bed, staring the ceiling above, admiring the cracks and water damage. You feel like it’s a metaphor for your life, broken, damaged, yet still trying to keep it together and not completely falling down.
You feel Damian shift beside you. This has been a common thing for the two of you. He’ll only ever really come over when your parents aren’t home, they get a weird vibe from him. They know who he is though, who his father is, so they don’t say anything.
You haven’t ever really done anything with him, besides kissing and a few hickeys here and there. He says he would never force you to do anything you didn’t want to do. So you feel you could trust him enough to just sleep in your bed with you.
“Good morning, sleepyhead.”
He smiles softly, rubbing his eyes. It softer times like this when you forget about the harder ones.
“What time is it?” He asks groggily.
You peer over him at your alarm clock, “about 5:35 pm.”
He hums in acknowledgement.
The two of you sit in silence, enjoying each other’s company, listening to the sounds of Gotham from your open window. The gold light from the setting sun peers in from your window, filling your room with a yellow colour that reminds you of honey. It’s truly a beautiful sight.
“(Y/N)?”
You turn to him.
“Do you ever want to meet my father?”
You don’t really know what to do with that question. You want to tell him you do, but yet, you really don’t want to continue to lie to him on how your truly feeling.
“No. . . N-not really, Damian.”
He sits up from lying on his back, he props himself up against your headboard. He cocks his brow.
“Why not?”
You lean your head on your hand, sighing.
“Because. . . . Because I don’t think we’re ready for that.”
He squints at you, then looks down at his feet in thought. You feel like you should take back what you said, but how could you? Is it already to late?
“Eventually you will meet him,” he says so quietly you could barely hear him, “if we ever want to go further in this relationship.”
You surprised to hear him say that, but you can tell whats more surprising, how serious he sounded or, how anxious that thought made you feel. Weren’t you in love too?
You laugh nervously, unable to meet his eye, “I-I wouldn’t say anything like that yet, Damian, I mean. . . .” You try to swallow your nervousness down, “I mean we’re so young and-and I don’t, I mean, I don’t think we should be thinking about that type of. . . . Stuff yet.”
Why are you so nervous?
“What do you mean?” He say angrily, brows furrowed, “don’t you love me?”
You look up in pure shock, “oh my god no- I mean, yes, yes I love you Damian. It’s just that we’re still teenagers and I mean there are a lot of different people in the world and neither of us have met any of them and I’m just saying that I-“
“Are you fucking cheating on me?”
You feel your breath catching your throat. You gulp slowly taking in his words completely, “wha-what?” You say quietly.
You see him scowl at you in anger, “I fucking knew it-“ he says, angrily getting up from your bed.
You cant believe what you’re hearing, what you’re seeing. You can’t breathe. Oh no, no no no nonono no, please not a panic attack now, out of any time please just not now. You feel tears bubbling in your eyes.
“Who is it! Ryan, Max, Josh?” He moves around as he speaks, showing how angry he is. You feel frozen, you can’t move, you can’t breathe, you can’t think, you can’t feel, you can’t hear, you can’t, you can’tyoucantyoucantyoucantyouca-
“(Y/N)!”
You look up, yet you could barely see him through your tears.
“Are you even listening to me!?”
You stare at him blankly.
He grinds his teeth in anger, glaring, “you weren’t, I fucking knew it. Do you care about this relationship? About me? I bet you don’t, you only think about yourself, all the damn ti-“
You let out a horrific whail. No nononon no no, not now! You have never cried in front of him before. The sound of it sounds like you’ve been shot.
Your sobs fill the room. They don’t stop coming either. Ever bad thought is coming to your mind right now, making you cry even more.
He just stands there, staring at you. He wants to tell you to stop it, to stop crying. What do you even have to cry about? Yet at the same time, this could be the perfect moment to take advantage of your emotionally weakened state, to feed you even more lies.
He slowly sits beside you on the bed, staring at you for a moment until he puts a hand on you back, rubbing it in comfort.
He feels and hears you sob harder. He shushes you, trying to comfort your aching soul. He doesn’t know caused the tears flooding out of your eyes, but when he finds out-
There wont be much left.
When your sobs quiet down, he whispers softly it’s okays, I love yous, and you’re alright in you ear. Your breathing is shallow, you’re trying to even it out.
You wipe your eyes after a few minutes of evening your breathes. You sniffle.
“I’m not cheating on you, Damian.”
He smiles softly, nodding, “I know.”
You sit in silence.
“I’m tired.”
“Okay, lets go to bed.” He says, pulling the covers back.
Laying you down on his chest, the two of you sigh in unison.
“. . . . I love you, Damian”
He smiles at your ceiling, “I know”
“. . . . . I’m sorry, Damian”
“I know”
You look up at him, “will you always watch over me?”
He looks at you eyes lovingly, “I already do, dear”
You smile, putting your head back on his chest.
“That’s good”
And as you drift off to sleep, calmly knowing you have the love of your life close by, you feel at peace. When you wake up you will know he will be there.
He, Damian Wayne. The love of your life. The person you dreamed of loving when you were a kid. Thought of him make you a warm, fuzzy feeling.
Yeah just like when you were a kid.
= = =
I see a lot of personality similarity’s with him and five. This is sorta the opposite of my Luther fic too! I really like the concept of something constantly trying to feel love from someone who doesn’t give a shit about them! I love angst dammit!
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devillain · 3 years
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𝐠𝐞𝐭      𝐭𝐨      𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰      𝐭𝐡𝐞      𝐦𝐮𝐧    ! !
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———  BASICS  !  ♡
(PEN)NAME  :  bas
PRONOUNS  :  she / her
ZODIAC  SIGN  :  leo
TAKEN  OR  SINGLE  :  single
———  THREE  FACTS  ! ♡
I have a JD
I’m asexual
I was a competitive swimmer in high school
———  EXPERIENCE  !  ♡
I’ve  been roleplaying since around 2009ish. I started out doing character chats on a website called inkpop that allowed young authors to potentially get their work read by publishers and even get a publishing deal. The point was to get your book characters to interact with others so they could be expanded and seem more real. I moved to tumblr around 2010, and started off in a group RP for percy jackson where I played Luke for about five years. I also did regular group rps for OCs, and such. After that I joined the glee fandom and well that was a wild ride. I then attempted indie RP around 2012-13 where I played Adam Milligan and stopped cause the SPN fandom was hard to get into. Then I joined the glee fandom around the same time and did a bunch of RPs there, I also had a roleplay help blog at one point, i tried 1x1s with a few friends but those fizzled out, I also did a few group roleplays for the SPN fandom where I played Adam, and I went back to indie RPing in about 2015 but in the Merlin Fandom where I play Mordred (and still do), from then on its a bunch of different fandoms that i had indie blogs in from a crazy experience in the Kingsman fandom that made me put away my Eggsy muse, to the historic fandom where I play Philippe Duc d’Orleans (can you blame me my FC for him was my Mordred FC), I also had numerous other blogs all on sideblogs now, such as Ender Wiggin, Hugo Cabret, Adam Milligan again. It was playing Philippe that lead me to the descendants fandom in 2017 right after d2 came out. And if you know me I have joined new fandoms, and rejoined some old ones namely PJO as Luke and the Glee fandom.
———  MUSE  PREFERENCE  !  ♡
I have always preferred male muses. I just have never been able to write good females, even in the books I have I just find myself struggling to write females. I have a total of five female muses that I have written or plan to write. But I tend to gear towards males, who I often see as asexual. These males all vary I have no specific type, though bad pasts tends to be a common theme. I also tend to go with canon muses. I have done a total of three OCs, one was truly an OC of my own creation from a book I was working on he was a “magician” more or less. I still love him. But yeah I would say I tend to lean into fantasy stuff alot more than the mundane. Most of my muses have a supernatural or fantasy element to their world or person.
———  FLUFF  /  ANGST  /  SMUT  !  ♡
FLUFF   : I like fluff. However, I am not a fan of only writing fluff. Fluff is good in moderation for me. If every thread I have with someone is something I see as Fluff then I get bored really easily. And I am not just talking about cute dates, I am talking about fluff after angst where its all I love yous but the angst is never actually written. Fluff is fine, but there has to be some motivation to it, these threads for me tend to fizzle out the fastest because they get really boring. Its why I don’t like rom-coms the plot is fine but I find no real substance to it. That’s how fluff feels for me. If something actiony or adventury doesn’t happen the plot just seems dull and of no use to write.
ANGST   :   I love writing angst, it is one of the best ways for me to help me build character arcs. Not all angst is actual pain, but I love putting my characters in these situations because it helps them grow. From difficult decisions that impact more than just them, to actual pain and suffering. I like writing it because its interesting to me. I am not a fan of small talk in real life, and angst isn’t small talk its the nitty gritty shit. I think all angst should have an end, but I also am known for coming up with angsty plots upon angsty plots.
SMUT   :   I used to write smut a very very long time ago, when I was in the glee fandom specifically. I know I know, I was a stupid young person alright. And I wont lie writing the smut that I did, I met some very wonderful people who allowed me to explore my kinks in a very safe environment in a way that I would not have been able to otherwise. I was very sheltered growing up, to the point that I did not know what a hand job was which is important if you know my story, I learned through RP and fanfiction what one was, and what the right terms were. However, that is a time that is in my past, I don’t write it any more, I find it uncomfortable for me personally to write especially since many of my characters are on the ace/demi spectrum. I will write kissing, and steamy moments, but my rule is as soon as your hand goes below the belt the fade to black comes out. If you want to know more of my experience I will gladly share it in private but it is too much for this little meme.
PLOT  /  MEMES   :   I love both. I am absolute shit at plotting though. Like we plot, and then I never know who will write the starter. I love plotting though because I love building relationships and characters through plots. When it comes to memes those are honestly the best way to roleplay with me. I may forget them from time to time, and not know how to answer them if they are first interactions, but I try to get to all my memes eventually. They are great ice breakers, and honestly some of my favorite threads come from memes. So send them in.
tagged   by   :   @tiderider​ (thanks love) tagging   :   YOU
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yakumtsaki · 4 years
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Alright you guys, sorry for the delay, I’ve had to restart this post 20 fucking times because my changes weren’t being saved in the draft and then I kept getting the ‘upload failed’ error. In case you don’t remember wtf is going on you might wanna re-read the last update (I certainly had to) which is apparently from JUNE 2018. Jfc I suck so hard. Now this was gonna be really long but tumblr wouldn’t post it so I’m breaking it up in 3 parts, part 2 to be posted tomorrow. For those that don’t feel like reading back, general recap of the last couple updates:
Jojo cheated on Wyatt with Max Flexor and my solution to that marital crisis was to adopt our first dog ever, a puppy hilariously named Maxx.
The puppy grew up to be an asshole and is constantly beating up the cats, who have turned into giant pussies (no pun intended) and are losing every fight to him despite the fact they’re named after Mortal Kombat characters. They’re a fucking disgrace to Alegra’s/Victor’s/Ronroneo’s memory and I haven’t settled on a cat heir yet because they both suck.
Jojo is perma miserable, I don’t even remember how much money away from his 100k LTW, and still not a werewolf despite my pathologically persistent attempts to make him friends with the wolf.
Fucking useless Wyatt didn’t get promoted while Komei was alive providing us with his 100 townie friends, we spent 20 updates befriending every rando that crossed our lot to secure his promotion, and then finally on the day he was supposed to become Captain Hero, Wyatt got, of course, fired and is now on track to take longer to complete his literal career based LTW than Komei took to get 6 pets on the top of their careers.
Absolutely everyone hates noogie addict Shajar, she got a Kylo Ren makeover, and we still don’t know what her sexual orientation is thanks to her ridiculous fitness/fatness turn ons and cleanliness turn off.
Golden child/10 nice points freakshow Cyneswith grew up, rolled romance with the most disturbing turn-ons/offs possible (grey hair/mechanical & charisma turn off) and the 20 simultaneous lovers LTW.
Wulf grew up into a kid, got an Amadeus makeover, is officially a Wyatt clone and the only member of this family I don’t completely hate yet.
Now I’d like to begin the first Union post in more than a year by requesting you do me a solid and lower your expectations for this thing as far down as humanly possible. Like really try to recreate the Jules Verne classic “Journey to the Center of the Earth” with your expectations here, because my brain is so fucking fried that there’s a 20% chance I randomly start citing sources at some point during this post. This grad school crap has seriously been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever. And speaking of bad trade deals, let’s get this update rolling with the man, the myth, the legend, the husband who managed to make Komei look like a dreamboat in comparison..
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..Wyatt fucking Union, née Monif. It’s been a long time, but I’m not gonna lie to you Wyatt, not nearly long enough. Looking good man, just one small question, where the fuck are your eyebrows?
-You àccidéntally deléted thém, imbécilé, et I cannôt exprèss my irritatiόn prόperly becausé I hàve non eyebrôws!
Did your selective French accent get thicker this past year or is it just me?
-It géts thickér whén je suis distrésséd, givé moi mon eyebrôws bàcc!!!
No can do, brother. Actually can do, but I think the Mona Lisa look is working for you, and more importantly I still hate you, so I’m just gonna hardcore ignore you for the rest of this post if that’s ok. Talk to me when you finally get promoted, aka never the way this shit is going.
-Non! NON! MON EYEBROWS!
It’s been lovely catching up.
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Jojό I mean Jojo, goddammit Wyatt, is spending most of his time building robots in the mausoleum (sweet hipster band name alert)..
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..giving financial advice in Shajar’s room (inb4 what’s the difference between the mausoleum and Shajar’s room)..
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..building evil snowmen alone in the middle of the night, like all mentally healthy middle aged men with 3 kids are wont to do..
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..and getting the piss harassed out of him by the cat ghosts in the bathroom (sweet hipster band name alert #2). How is this like the fourth time this happens in the exact same spot, will you just stop autonomously cleaning the bathroom after midnight? It’s obviously where the cats hang out, give it the fuck up already.
-I’m actively TRYING TO DIE you absolute moron, what does a guy have to do to get killed around here?
Yea can’t say that I blame you but not happening, you can commit suicide by Ghost Alegra after the kids fuck off to college, ok? I promise.
-Oh like you promised me being heir was a route worth pursuing??
Um obviously you too need to go back and re-read your own life story, because I spent the entirety of our “““cherished””” time together telling you heirship is a shitty gig at generation 2. And then to top it off you went and married Wyatt to ensure maximum shittiness, so there you go, fucking enjoy. God I am so sick of both of you losers and we’re only 5 pics in. Let’s check in with your spawn, I’m sure they can’t possibly be more annoying than their parents-
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-oh right, I forgot, this is the generation with 10/10/9 active points where the party never stops. Cyneswith are you somehow twerking to classical music?
-How else am I gonna attract all those hot senior citizens per my grey hair turn on and 20 lovers LTW?
Ok great yea I see how this is gonna go, you’re trying to entice people into voting you for heir based on how torturous playing this fucked up LTW is gonna be for me, well forget it, my readers are intellectuals and completely above such petty entertainment. (istg mofos, don’t even think about it, i already did Komei’s 5 pets career shit, i will burn this place to the ground if you saddle me with Cyneswith banging the elderly for 30 years)
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-No need to worry your stupid little head, I will beat Cyneswith for HEIR just like I beat her HAIR up daily! HAHA!
Shajar no offense but you’re a fucking war crime of a sim, nearly everyone who’s ever met you hates you including your parents, and the fact that you’re the alternative here is really not helping my situation in any way. Also how the fuck are you gonna be heir when the only thing you seem to be attracted to is giving noogies, you’re like one week away from college and I still don’t even know if you’re str8 or gay or bi or w/e the fuck you are. You have Jojo’s personality combined with..
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..yes exactly, DANIEL’S SOCIAL ABILITIES. I mean I was joking with the whole ‘Shajar’s the spawn of Satan’ thing, but this combo of traits was clearly drawn up in Hell’s boardroom.
ANYWAY. It’s a snowy Sunday morning, and anyone who has been a teen knows what that means:
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Time to go clubbing! Man I remember being like 15, waking up on a freezing Sunday morning and my mom making me a cup of hot chocolate before I drove off to the club. Those were the days.
-Uh, Shaj, when did you learn how to drive?
-Don’t be stupid, Cyneswith, people don’t need to ‘learn’ how to drive.
-They absolutely do, actually.
-Well what can I tell you, the dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.
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-Here we are, safe and sound! Celebratory noogie!
-YOU RAN OVER 9 PEOPLE
-How many times to I have to explain this to you, Apartment Life townies are not people.
Can’t argue with that logic. Let’s just go in and find out what Shajar’s sexual orientation is once and for all so I can spend the rest of this update aggressively promoting Wulf’s candidacy.
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Now I consider ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’ one of the dumbest sayings there is, but even I have to concede that this particular picture truly is worth a thousand words. Quick poll, what is more horrifying, Shajar’s literal Joker face or Cyneswith, whom I’ve never seen read a book ever, autonomously pulling one out in the middle of the dance floor, in what I can only assume is an attempt to attract old perverts with the schoolgirl routine?
And I know what some of you are thinking, you’re like ‘bro, you’re just reaching to make a bad joke bro, Cyneswith is just a sweet nice introvert and not like other girls, she doesn’t feel comfortable in the club’, well to that let me reply with another picture that is worth a thousand words:
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Yea that’s right, on the first minute of our first time out WE RUN INTO THAT ONE ELDER TOWNIE THAT HAS WRINKLE MAKE UP ON. GODDAMMIT CYNESWITH
Do you guys remember how Jojo was obsessed with Stephen Tinker as a teen? Are you seeing the connection here?? Those kids have literally inherited the worst possible traits from both their parents turned up to 11, it’s fucking unreal.  
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Right after I get over Wrinkle’s presence I turn around and what do I see, those 2, who have never had a non-noogie physical interaction, autonomously doing the family kiss thing. I didn’t even catch it on time because I was loling irl, we came out here so these assholes can find age-appropriate partners, and instead they’re kissing each other. Seems about right with this family, and clearly Striped Scarf’s dumb ass ships it.
-They look so much alike, it’s meant to be!
Yes, and they even share the same last name! Talk about written in the stars.
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Thankfully Abhijeet is here to save us from incest by perving on Cyneswith. GTFO ABHIJEET. Anyone like ‘bro townies just autonomously come to greet your sims on community lots regardless of age, stop calling them perverts’, see you in about 5 pics down.  
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I try to have Shajar chat up Striped Scarf and suffice it to say Shaj ~stole her heart~ and presumably put it on this stick to wave around.
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NO. CYNESWITH NO. I’m seriously having déjà vu of all the times I was like ‘NO. JOJO NO’, jfc.
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Shajar is unsurprisingly exhibiting no interest in socializing with anyone around her, instead she’s trying every activity this terribly lit place has to offer, and she looks demented while doing it:
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I’m feeling a primal urge to photoshop Darth Vader’s melted helmet on the bowling ball here, someone please remind me to do it for the heir vote photoshoot.
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-HA. SUCK IT DENISE JACQUET
That’s Denise Jacquet?! I can’t tell who anyone is for shit anymore. The default replacements are a scourge upon premade brands, I’m getting rid of them pronto. Speaking of scourges, where the hell is your sister?
-Who cares?
I wanna say ‘me’ but we both know that’s a lie.
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Oh ok, THERE SHE IS.
-So you see Cyneswith, just because something is technically ‘illegal’, doesn’t mean it’s morally wrong-
Yea yea fascinating stuff, now get out of the hot tub or I will fucking neuter you, I don’t know if a eunuch mod already exists for medieval games but I will make one if it doesn’t.
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Here, Cyneswith, drink some water, have a nice G-rated convo with your sister about violins and stop pissing me off. 
-First of all this is straight vodka.
Great.
-Secondly Shajar is talking about Mozart’s coprophilia.
-I sure am.
Amazing. Well, I guess it’s at times like these when you need to look inside your heart and truly ask yourself, what did you expect from Jojo’s children.
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ABHIJEET ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME DID YOU EVEN HEAR ME TALK ABOUT CASTRATION
-Ha, I went home and put on my most elderly-looking formal wear!
-I hate to see you go but I love to watch you leave Ab <3
CYNESWITH SHUT UP. I can’t believe you people are actually making me miss Gunther’s teenage whoring, at least he kept it age appropriate.
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-Is some random lady pressing her breasts against my head?
She most certainly is, Shajar, because it is now crystal clear that this bowling alley doubles as the site of annual perv townie convention and we walked right into it-
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-and it’s also clear we have serious issues and are enjoying ourselves. Shaj I legit don’t know what to tell you, this is the first time you get along with someone right away and it just had to be the adult with the bad haircut and the flasher’s trench coat???
-You’re damn right it did.
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Alright then, I’m officially going to nope out of this situation, safe in the knowledge you’re a noogiesexual and nothing will actually happen with this freak, so I’ll focus on Cyneswith instead who is much more of a loose canon. 
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Here Cyn, talk to this guy, who I’m 90% sure is the same guy your father rejected in favor of stalking Stephen Tinker when he was your age.
-Ohhhh, he’s dreamy!
Omg really?? Halleluj-
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-oh never mind, you were of course referring to adult ass Brandon Lillard. I do like that our townies have recurring roles each generation, we should make rejecting Blondie a rite of passage in this family. We should also officially gtfo because this is happening:
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-Um, now that I’m looking at you in harsher lighting, it’s gonna be a no from me dawg. 
Oh, thank the fucking lord.
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-Let’s celebrate the fact we didn’t get hopelessly obsessed with any adults here by doing the traditional Dance of Normality!
-We beat Dad’s genes, we beat Dad’s genes!
-We’re normal!
Yes, and we’re definitely showing it. Can we please leave now so I can make sure I’ve uninstalled Inteenminator and turn off free will? 
-Nop! Venue change!
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-Got-out-of-the-car celebratory noogie!
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-Made-it-to-the-door celebratory noogie!
Shajar you unironically have a noogie addiction, I’m not kidding in the slightest, you need to see a doctor.
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Great, great, not another teen in sight and to top it off Denise followed us here to ensure maximum elder presence. I feel comfortable officially declaring this day a complete waste of time.
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God, the vintage pink dress and the pink alcohol combo is some straight up current era Taylor Swift nonsense. That’s it, we’re outta here, back home where no one is lurking, waiting to strike at us-
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-SOPHIE NOOOOOOOOOOOO💔💔💔💔💔
-The Lord is my shepherd.
NO HE ISN’T EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CAN’T HERD CATS PLEASE DON’T DIE
-Nop, I’m over it. Goodbye heathens, it’s been nice, hope you don’t find your paradise. 
UGH SOPHIE, my beloved Westboro lunatic, the last gangsta generation 1 cat we had.. I can’t believe you’re gone and all I’m left with is stupid Goro and D’vorah who can’t even beat up the fucking dog. This is truly painful.
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Yes, pets, I agree, Kaylynn is completely to blame for Sophie dying of old age. The time has now come to decide on a cat heir-
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-and since Goro ran away like a little bitch after Sophie’s death despite the fact he didn’t even like her, he’s automatically disqualified and will be going off to live on Melody and Daniel’s farm once returned to us. Congratulations to D’vorah I guess, on being the least terrible of two terrible options. 
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On the topic of terrible heir options, Cyn has non-stop wants to go on dates and have her first kiss and all that crap, and since our Sunday morning clubbing was a bust we invite over the matchmaker.
-Hello there young Union, I see your house has been upgraded since I was last here.
Oh right we haven’t required your services since Daniel was a teen and we lived in a trailer, well we are flush with cash now!
-Hopefully your payment reflects that.
It will!! Just please give us someone good, I can’t deal with single teen Cyn for one more second.
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-Oh my, what a beautiful BLANK PIECE OF PAPER.
WHAT!? NO THAT’S 5K IT’S JUST A SNOW GLITCH 
-What do I look like to you, a money thawing service?
Does such a service.. exist??
-It does not, so I have to go home and use a hairdryer on this!
Just come inside and we’ll give you non-frozen money!
-No, no, you’ll get what you paid for..
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-Have a magical time!
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...
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......................
Lakshmi this was so fucking evil that I almost want to age you down and see if you and Shajar hit it off. 
-As if, the whole neighborhood knows what you did to Komei.
Helped him achieve his insane 6-pets-career LTW?
-Turned him into a servant while your sim was lounging around all day!
Oh yea I did do that. But Wyatt was also a townie and he does literally nothing, Jojo is the servant now!
-Only because Wyatt is too fucking stupid to do things! Word has gotten out, no townie will ever marry in this family again unless they’re brain dead, so it’s Wyatts only for you from now on, sister!
Well this has been a complete fucking disaster. It was great seeing you again, Lakshmi, thanks for the dream date with the adult farting machine, 5k well-spent.
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Pretty sure it was you bro, and yes, how about we don’t do that again.
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Wyatt has brought over Amanda from work! (Aka Victoria’s only friend and subsequent lesbian lover, who is really pretty and is definitely getting married in at some point, preferably after the brown hair genes have been weakened so we can go back to being gingers.)  
-Wow Shajar, your grandmother, God rest her soul, mentioned you were her favorite and now I can see why! Loving the Kylo Ren look!
-Is someone being genuinely nice to me?! What is happening?
-Yes, please stop being nice to her, Amanda, we don’t want her getting used to it.
Jojo istg.
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-Cyneswith dear, tell Amanda all about how much money your grandmother left you so she can stop being nice to Shajar. 
-Soooo much money, Miss Amanda!
-Ah, what a polite child I’ve single-handedly raised.
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-Now, Cyneswith, you really need to get back on the dating scene so you have ample time to find the perfect spouse and continue our line, since you’re clearly the only one of my children that is remotely heir material. 
-Dad, Shajar and Wulf are right next to you.
-Oh they are? I’m wearing my special contact lenses that make those disappointments invisible to me, but even better, they need to hear this. Shajar is a noogiesexual and thus incapable of reproduction, and Wulf is not even a Union, I mean have you seen that kid? Wyatt reproduced by himself like the amoeba he is. Now, your grandmother-
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-YOU MENTIONED ME 3 TIMES AND HERE I AM
OH FUCK VICTORIA, deleting the default replacements gave you base game hair!!!!
-That’s the part you’re scared by, not my Beetlejuicesque entrance?
There’s literally nothing scarier than your ghost sporting this haircut for all eternity, I’m re-downloading that default immediately. 
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-Oh mom, so good to see you! Let me just hug my beloved child, Shijer-
-Shajar, dad.
-SHAJAR, let me hug Shajar, like I do all the time. 
-I’m glad to see you’re not picking favorites among your children like I did, the way I treated David-
-Daniel, mom.
-DANIEL, is the one thing I’ve truly been regretting in the afterlife. That and not skinning Marisa Bendett alive when I had the chance. 
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-Well, as you can see by Shajar’s totally normal and not at all shocked reaction to my hug, I am a wonderful, fair, and emotionally available father. 
(Bruh this freaked me out so much when it happened, I mean I KNOW it’s an animation glitch but I was convinced my sims had become sentient for a good while after)
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-Is your grandmother’s ghost still on the premises?
-Yup. 
-When will this nightmare end, paying attention to you is the worst. 
-Ok she’s gone.
-FINALLY. Now it’s back to the crypt for you, and don’t you dare go complain to her urn!
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-Ah, Stephen, Stephen, my life is crap and I can’t even🎵
And with the knowledge you have composed a theme song for Stephen Tinker, part 1 of the Union comeback update is concluded. Will Shajar’s sexual orientation reveal itself? Will Cyneswith find true love? Will Jojo become a werewolf? Will Wulf continue to be the only dignified member of this family? Will D’vorah have kittens? Will Wyatt do literally anything worth mentioning? Tune in for parts 2 & 3 to find out, unfollow button on the upper right corner for those who need it. 
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I had an interesting conversation on Discord today. This isn’t a political blog but it deserves to be shared. Fact check anything you want. It’s all true.
https://lilreadergurl.tumblr.com/post/620822382336180224TumblrStan First, Human LastStan First, Human Last[11:49 AM] this dosent even affect me, no athority figures know im lgbt and my mom dosent either, but woah
first off, people right now are fucked, and second off, what about the future?
reality = im gonna be in debt from college till my kids go to college and then ill be helping them but unless i can move to aus or england when im 19 there is nearly no hope for me since im not a rich kid and i dont have a rich relative, so as a kid in the us i have to constantly face the fact that it wont be possible unless i save for years chances are im stuck here, my kids will be, thier kids will be
i was reading history texts the other day and we're in prime time for another revloution if not a revolution, a revalation
its time for a paradigm shift wether in ink or in blood
People are freaking tired of the government isnt there a whole thing where if the ppl arent satisfied with the gov't bc the gov't isnt doing its job, the people have the power to abolish it yeah sounds familiar unless the gov is corrupt and they prevent us by finding loopholes, which is what they do best these days
revolution is hard, but they forget we outnumber them. protests show that easily.
(Wanna know what the protests remind me of? The Peacekeepers in the Hunger Games during the Rebellion)
and by brainwashing the populace into thinking everything is fine and pitting the masses against each other I think a lot of people are just like welp this is how it’s going to be
its easier to be apathetic not that its right
unless we stand the fuck up, but when we do, we're tear gassed and have rubber bullets shot in our skulls
what did harry potter teach me? giving up is easy. fighting is worth it. and damn, we need to fight
isnt there also proof of them injuring a medic which is a war crime yea multiple
It’s pretty fucked up, they make u work these long as hours so you’re too tired to do anything and that’s how they keep you from acting on anything
but who's going to punish them?
if this is the promised land then i dont get why we're so fucked up
it isnt that is a lie
this is america the great the land of opprotunity unless you’re poor
what happened to the assasinations man
actually trump was smart about that kept himself by getting killed, by getting the one guy nobody wanted for vp in the spot
hmm youre right
then proceeded to take over everything and use OUR TAX MONEY to send his son to foregin countries to shoot a sheep
same for impeachment
The problem is somehow the rules don’t apply to him?? Like w the amount of ABSOLUTE SHIT he’s done
here are a few trends in history of when major revolutions occur.
Ohohohoho
for example, inequality or, citizens being treated like shit or, gov not listening to demands or, tyrants well would ya look at that - we hit all of them! only way it could get worse is if they started killing people for no reason- oh WAIT, we do that too!
commit war crimes? jackpot
im just saying, we're shaping up our generation has a certain power to it we're growing up AFTER 9/11, we're being taught WHY everything was bad, we're not living through it, but we see the evidence all around us We know that if 1 person fucks up, EVERYONE suffers Unless you’re in the government in which case you get a free pass We also grow up with certain influences, for example, the Hunger Games books, or the Giver series
The pot has been brewing for a long time
We grow up with news sources at our fingertips, we're taught how to connect things If you think that we can't blow shit up, you're wrong. You gave us the toys, you taught us how to use them, and now... we're gonna play
REVOLUTION!!!!
let’s do it, damn well time for one
sign me up! though i might get deported back to my home country ahaha
not if there’s no government
WELL YEAH - Wanna know what's REALLY fucked up, though?
?
You ever read Hunger Games? America=Arena Citizens=Tributes Cops=Peacekeepers Protesters=Tributes President=Snow Even if you didn't, you'll get the point. But if you did, you'll get it EXACTLY.
Aye
Hell yeah
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go-diane-winchester · 5 years
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New question:  Why do I dislike Misha and his fans?
@super-who-loser asked the following question:
Hey, I’m not trying to come across as rude or anything I’m just wondering why you dislike Misha so much? I know Jared and Jensen have been there since the beginning and yes, there have been times where his character has been pretty useless but I don’t hate him and you’re being really mean to some Destiel shippers and like I know that it’s obviously never going to happen and Cockles is a big no no for me but I am confused about why you really don’t like him? I’m honestly just curious
Thank you for the question.  Let me point out before hand, that my irritation towards Misha has nothing to do with a ship.  I used to read destiel slash.  I used to like Cockles AU.  I don't ship wincest.  I ship AUs.  Its my favorite slash subgenre.  So no, this is not a ship argument.  Ship whatever you want, but mind your manners.  There are many things that I don't like about Misha.  However I am choosing to answer only from a SPN perspective because that is the primary way that we know him. 
MISHA AND SLASH FICTION
You may not realize this but Supernatural has been on the air for so long that it, plus its fan base, has experienced and initiated a few changes and trends.  In the space of fourteen years, filming became digitalized.  Social media, which was a fledgling thing back then, is the norm now [I have a disdain towards social media].  To put it into perspective, the child actors that played Asher, the Antichrist kid [I forget his name] and Little Lillith from the early seasons are likely in their 20s now.  Trends in entertainment changed.  Hollywood seems poised to implode upon itself, geographically, with major entertainers moving house to outlets like Netflix.  Netflix, not bound by geography, is likely to become the next Hollywood.  Slash, too, has undergone change.  And as far as SPN is concerned, that change has not been organic.  It has been by design and at the hands on Misha Collins. 
When Castiel came on board, there were already two prevalent pairings in Supernatural:  Wincest and Bobby/John.  There were other pairings.  But these were the most prevalent.   So Supernatural had slash fans already.  These fans were already aware of what slash fiction was, and they were a self-monitoring group.  They realized that the actors were aware of slash and didn't want it to be the focal point of their con appearances, because they didn't want the fans to think they were hinting at anything.  The fans understood and ever since, they have respected the actor's wishes.  When some fans liked Dean's interaction with Cas, they started shipping destiel. 
Destiel's old fans were just like all the other shippers.  They were treating destiel the way it should be treated.  Like a fantasy.  They did artwork and literature about it and kept it to themselves, as they should.  Misha never knew what slash fiction was, until he looked on Tumblr and found Destiel.  In his words, he used destiel to ''keep this gig for longer''.  He kept talking about destiel even though he was instructed not to, and pulling the LGBT into it, to make it look like destiel was about gay rights and queer art, when it isn't.  There are various kinds of destiel written by different people, from different perspectives, for different reasons.  That is true for all pairings everywhere.  By making destiel about the LGBT and waving the ''no shipping question'' rule in convention panels, he did two things. 
He turned destiel into a vehicle for LGBT activism.  Instead of being a pastime, now destiel is used to fight for LGBT representation, even though, many of the LGBT people within my own circle despise him for it.  Most of the people fighting for LGBT representation are actually quite homophobic and insulting in their thinking and logic.  And they are not even LGBT.  They are just a bunch of straight girls for whom, their fantasy has become a drug, and they wont stop until destiel becomes canon. 
He turned Jensen into the bad guy.  Misha spoke openly about slash.  Jensen chose not to.  He didn't want any part of it, and this is true about all the pairings he is a part of, not just destiel.  Because of his choice, Misha fans make negative comparisons between him and Misha, even saying that Jensen is a homophobe/biphobe because he doesn't want to talk about destiel or make it canon.  They ranted about it on social media and mass media picked up on it.  The University Of Sydney has an academic paper, under Celebrity Studies, dedicated to Jensen's supposed homophobia.  The destiel shippers are literally Jensen's reputation. 
Misha should have left slash alone.  Any fan of his will know that he overindulges the slash fans.  And the one thing that I noticed about slash fans, is that you don't give them excessive attention, or they will go completely crazy.  It doesn't matter what they slash.
Harry Styles and Liam Tomlinson learned that the hard way, because the Larry fans destroyed their friendships when they over-emphasized the fan servicing.  They did the fan servicing because Modest Management told them to, they  ended up hating their fans for what the fans became.  They have since severed ties with Modest.  Even on a day when one of them was mourning the loss of a parent, the fans who pushing the other guy so they could have a ship moment.  These two boys were very young when they entered the band.  Harry was 15 years old.  They had youthful ignorance to blame for making the decision to blindly follow the manager's instruction.  Misha cannot make any of those excuses. 
Misha got into the show at age 35.  He was already a grown man.  He was not a pivotal part of the show and therefore the only notes he was getting, was for his acting.  He wasn't being coached by anyone as to how he should engage his fans.  He was too small a fry for that.  In fact, no one was sure how long he would last on the show.  So these notes were only acting, including one telling him not to adlib his lines.  Whatever transpired between him and the destiel fans, happened because he orchestrated it. 
MISHA AND SUPERNATURAL
When Cas came on board, he was fun new character.  By the end of season 5, he had run his course on the show.  The show didn't need his character because [and as a writer I understand this] the presence of Castiel hampered the progress of the story.  Sera Gamble dealt with that frustration during her tenure as showrunner.  Cas was an angel.  If he was an ally to the boys, the boys should have a more powerful nemesis.  After all, they have an angel buddy to help them.  Unfortunately, they couldn't keep coming up with more and more powerful bad guys and negative elements, especially on a show where the biggest bad guy, the devil itself, and the worst case scenario [the apocalypse] has already been dealt with.  
During 6 and 7, they had Soulless Sam, Sam's wall, the leviathans, Metatron, the demons, Crowley, Dick Roman and even the Alphas, if I am not mistaken.  So many bad guys and bad situations, because the good guys had a powerful angel.  They could make him lose his power, so he wont be such a powerful ally.  And they did exactly that.  But Misha has very few skills to show off.  Imagine if Osric was Cas.  Even without power, he would still be able to taekwondo the stuffing out of bad guys.  He wouldn't be useless.  Cas, without his grace, didn't help the story along.  He didn't bring something extra to the story.  He was pointless.  So they made him a bad guy and for the first time in a long time, Cas was pivotal to the story.    
Eventually, she got fed up of shoehorning him into the script and just did away with the character.  But, rumor has it that Singer brought him back.  And he was welcome by the worst Q score measurement ever.  That would tell you that he was not appreciated as an actor by everyone, just his shipping and cult fans.  Since then, Cas has done nothing important in the script until recently where he made a deal for Jack.  Other than that, he has been an add on, and that is Misha's fault.  Every time Jensen and Misha did a scene, Misha would overemphasize the destiel aspect, either via social media or during his panels.  And eventually Jensen got fed up and cut the scenes short.  Basically, Misha shot himself in the foot.  The DeanCas fan service made for annoying television for people who didn't want to deal with shippy nonsense while they were watching their favorite show. 
If they didn't add anything shipping related, the hellers screamed.  If they did, the hellers screamed canon and queer baiting.  Misha's interference did that.  All he had to do was stop talking, and he couldn't do that, because his fan base will lose interest in him.  In order to keep that one group of militants, Misha isolated all other fans and potential fans. 
MISHA AND THE DESTIEL FANS
Misha's fan have sent Jensen various death threats, the receipts of which are on my blog.  A few days back, a heller was setting Jensen's picture on fire because Misha tweeted a lie that there will be a turning point for Dean and Cas in the upcoming episode.  So even though Misha was the guilty party, this psycho is punishing Jensen.  These fans have also discussed kidnapping Jared's children.  When they bully Jensen and Jared, they tag Misha in many of the tweets.  Misha randomly does Q and A sessions based on his tweets, but he has never seen a single threat and bullying remark??.....in ten years??.....really??  Nah, I am not buying that.  Frankly, I think the man just doesn't care.  Acknowledging them will mean he will have to stop them which means he will eventually have to stop peddling destiel which means he will not have an audience which means SPN will kick him right out.  The funny thing is, I think he is wrong.  He might actually have more fans if he didn't alienate them with his special brand of shippy vulgarity.  I could fill a page with all the receipts of the death threats.  And Jensen doesn't deserve that. 
I also call out destiel shippers on Tumblr so that everyone else can block the problematic ones.  Have you noticed how many names there are for the destiel pairing?  DeanCas, CasDean, DeanxCastiel and recently I discovered Dastiel.  Have you ever wondered why?  It is because they don't want you to block them.  If you filter destiel, they will use another name.  Why is that?  That is not a ship.  That's a cult.  They want to indoctrinate.  They tag destiel in other fandom names.  They are trying to create more fans for a ship.  That is why I call out specific people.  Especially the ones that tag AKF in their destiel garbage.  I have no issues with the good shippers.  I have done posts about them.  The bad ones might do something criminal one day, which is why they bother me. 
This answer, only just scratches the surface.  I am not telling you everything.  I am not telling you about Jared, Robert Berens, Kim, Briana, Travis, Sera Gamble, Ben Edlund, Ty Olsson etc.  I am just telling you the brief basics.  I hope this answers your question.  Have a nice day.  Apologies for the inevitable typos.
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So I'm looking into insurance for a bike I'll be getting soon and I did a estimated online check on Geico for my insurance and it says: Here is your quote for 12 months of coverage: Payments as low as $172.63 Your 12-Month policy is only $2012.00 Does that mean I pay $172.63 per month and $2012.00 a year? Sorry I'm new to this, never had to pay and figure out my own insurance! Just paid my father and he did the rest.""
How do i get insurance for a party?
having a party and venue request a certificate of insurance..i have no other insurance other than auto..how can i get a coi cheap and fast
Affordable health insurance in florida?
im 17, will be 18 in november, and i need to find health insurance. i need it to cover dental (orthodontics), prescriptions, and mental health services (depression, bipolar disorder). i am a non smoker, and i have no kids. please help!!!""
How much should I expect for car insurance in New York City?
I'm 20 a full time student and I was looking to buy a used car. I was looking for a Honda Prelude 1996-99 and I just got my license this month. Around how much would I be likely to pay for it per month? I tried getting a quote online but they haven't been able to make one for me. I'll probably get a car around September and was just wondering how much I would be paying for the insurance. Thanks!
What ia a good affordable health insurance for children?
What ia a good affordable health insurance for children?
Do men drive better then women or women better then men or even steven?
Do men drive better then women or women better then men or even steven?
What is a good car for a 17 year old. and what is the cheapest insurance?
What is a good car for a 17 year old. and what is the cheapest insurance?
What's the best type of life insurance to buy?
Is term better than cash value? or vice versa?
""Obamcare, how is it enforced?""
So, the single mothers of 3 children. The one who's flipping burgers for 12,000 a year income, She's going to pay $100 a month for insurance, or she will be in violation of the law, right? When she doesn't pay the $100 a month, she's a criminal, right? We're going to fine her $2,000? If she doesn't pay the fine, we'll throw her in jail? Really? This is the plan? Does anybody else see how ridiculous this whole thing is???""
""Was in a fender bender, not my fault but I have no auto insurance...advice?""
I live in LA, California. I was hit at a gas station -- a car backed into my front left door... My car was the only one with noticeable damage. However, I have no auto insurance. I also don't have a lot of money to get either cars fixed. I don't really care to get my car fixed since it's a 92 nissan stanza about to die out on me. I just don't want to get in trouble for not having insurance...Their auto insurance has already called and sent a letter to have my insurance rep contact them to work out a deal to fix my car. They are already claiming it to be their fault.... Should I call their insurance rep and let them know that I do not want to put down a claim? Or call the guy who hit me personally and let him know I don't want to put down a claim? Could they find out that I have no insurance and figure out a way to get me in trouble? I only gave them my name, address, phone number and driver's licence number. Side note: The car is registered under my sister. Her registration and license have been suspended due to a DUI. Will they find out about this and find a way to get me/us in trouble?""
18 year old full cover insurance?
I'm 18 and I have full cover insurance on a saab 97x but I pay 200$ I wanna see what I can do to pay less
Is the renault twizy cheap for teenagers?
Is the insurance cheap Im looking around below 2000 a year
Can my health insurance company do this?
im asking this question for my mom well shes 38 and she has a stroke at 35 the stroke affected the right side of her body and now shes incapable of doing most of what she could do before she had the stroke before the stroke she worked 7 days a weekatleast 8 hours a day and my dad was also working since the stroke my dad has been the only one working and he works as many hours as he can get but he also has health issues so its hard for him now our insurance company sends us cheques but their only like 400 a month that's not even enough to buy groceries for a month and well now they are trying to cancel that cheque to can they do this? the stroke isnt her only medical problem she has been sick for 19years inlcuding kidneyfailure stroke heart failure respitoryfailure and many operations doctors have talked to the insurance company telling them my mother is in no state tohave a job but they say no she can work
How much is car insurance for a teenager under 18 years old?
If you share the car with someone, is the car insurance higher for two people instead of one? If so how much more?""
Is a paternity test needed to get insurance from the state in michigan?
Do they make you do paternity tests to get government insurance
Can you give me an estimate of how much car insurance would be.......?
lets say a guy under 30 in california with a 2002 BMW 325i sedan how much would insurance be?
Car insurance so expensive in the uk?
i am 19, i have a K reg 1.6 litre fiat tipo the car is only worth about 120. i have never had any accidents or had any tickets so why does my insurance cost 2600.""
What is a cheap auto insurance company?
Please be specific.
What health insurance can i apply for?
i'm a stay at home mom and my husband is self employed. so we can't get insurance through work. blue cross keeps denying me. what other affordable health insurance can i apply for?
What can you do if an insurance company breaks the policy terms?
My dad's insurance company has changed his policy and made a new one after he's already made 2 payments on the old one.no terms were violated by my father and he did not add anything new. they raised his price by $126.88. i looked over at the statement current and old one. they're making no sense. what can we do? and also last question can they add interest rates to payments that aren't even due yet to each month? i thought interest payments were only a requirement if the bill wasn't paid on time??
17 years old and my car insurance is way too high...?
I'm 17 years old and I live in the state of New York. A few months ago I had a little accident with my moms cars. My father said he'll buy me a car if I pay for insurance... but my insurance would be 3600 dollars per year which I won't be able to afford making minimum wage. Is there anyways I could lower the price for insurance? I really need some help thank you!
Car insurance quotes?
im just snooping around through car insurance websites figuring out which 1 is the cheapest for my ride...so imade a quote or did a quote at a car insurance website which it said how much ima pay each month but ididnt want car insurance yet..so my question is when imade that quote do ihave to each month which the website said NOW? or is it just telling when isign up for that company thats how much ima pay?...(iwant car insurance but looking for the cheapest so imade that quote in accident)
""Rear ended someone in a rental vehicle, will my premiums rise?""
I was in a rental vehicle when I tapped the car in front of me. I drove a '11 Toyota Corolla and he an old Chevy Monte Carlo. I came to a complete stop before absentmindedly loosening my foot on the brake, thus I tapped him at perhaps 2-3mph, and left a light imprint of the license plate on his red bumper. I offered to negotiate a cash payment on the spot, I was thinking of a couple hundred, but he insisted costs to be over 1,500. I did pay for damage insurance on the rental, but not liability. I'm insured with Safeco in Southern California, will this affect my rates at all? I talked to a body shop and showed them pictures of the imprint, and they figured that repairs would be around 150-300, depending. I heard that premiums won't necessarily rise unless damages are over 750? Is that true, and if so what are some tips to keep them from rising at this point? (this would be the first accident where I am held liable)""
Cheapest place to insure a peugeot 106 1.1 or a peugeot 106 quiksilver?
Im getting pissed off with the prices of inurance for my car the cheapest i can get it is 3200 fully comp (third party is more money for some reason?!?) and ive tryed all these compare websites and they are utter bollocks i might aswell not have passed my bastard driving test with these prices, i may have to wait another year for my insurance to go down. Btw im 19 year old and have been passed 4 month, can anyone help me im sick of ******* looking at insurance websites, thanks""
How much is car insurance on a 2002 mustang convertable?
How much is car insurance on a 2002 mustang convertable?
Homeowners insurance in California????
I am thinking of purchasing my first home, and I was wondering about how much homeowners insurance would cost me. The home costs 200,000. Does anyone have any idea about how much that would be? I don't want to get into something I can't afford.....""
Can I drive my friends car (with his permission) on my fully comprehensive insurance?
The car is registered in my friends name but his insurance has expired and he has not renewed it as he is away on holiday and not due back for a couple of months. Will I still be covered for Third Party as I insurance on my own car?
How much will my insurance go up?
I am 16 and I just got my first speeding ticket. I have state farm and it is my first violation. I was just looking for a ballpark estimate.
How can I get my car insured?
I am the only driver within my household and am 16 i need my car insured in order to drive it and keep my job...insurance companies want to charge me 1400 A MONTH for my car due to age...is it possible to put it in someone elses name that does not live on resisdence??....any help would be great!!
I'm 18 and need auto insurance.?
I'm 18 and am about to buy a new car. I'm still under my mother's insurance, but am planning to get off of her insurance. I'll probably end up buying a clunker car that doesn't cost much. Here's my question: Do auto insurance companies allow drivers to get off their parent's insurance plans and get one of their own? My mother isn't very cooperative about paying for car insurance. I need to buy my own insurance. She WILL NOT cooperate. Will this be expensive? How would I go about changing the plan?""
How much is it for car insurance for average teenager?
How much is it for car insurance for average teenager?
""Full Time College Student, my first time shopping for health insurance?""
I will be 20 in a month. I go to school full time as well as work around 30 hrs a week. My family has been on government health care for a while, but since my father won his social security case they are canceling our coverage by the end of the month. (With no real notice) I need health insurance but I have never shopped for it before and I would like to keep my same doctor as well as I mostly just need the insurance for birth control. I don't make much money and my fiance and I are struggling to find a place to live as well as needing to buy a car and fix my car. I just really need some good advice on how to choose a good heath care provider. and I also know it will probably be rare to find any insurance that will help pay for my birth control.""
Temporary Car insurance??
Need temporary car insurance for about 3-4 weeks, our own policy runs out the middle of next month, but we have just ordered a mobility car, and it wont be here until 1st week in June. We call our current insurance company and was basically told they would charge us for 6 months and then a cancellation fee. What company offers the lowest price insurance for that short amount of time??""
Obama waives auto insurance?
Obama waives auto insurance?
""Of the different types of Life Insurance, Which is the best & why?""
Of the different types of Life Insurance, Which is the best & why?""
What's the cheapest insurance company or booker they've come across?
The cheapest iv encountered is onlyyoungdrivers.com the next being RAC insurance a few hours quid more, followed by 4youngdrivers.co.uk that is myself being under 25. Also has anyone found it cheaper to ring the direct in attempt to get cheaper quote, iv stayed away from this as of yet because of the cost of calling.""
When does insurance rates go down?
I been in an accident in 2006 and I was looking for insurance quote for less and I wanted to know if it will lower in 3-5 years. start with a clean slate. Thanks
Will my insurance go up if i get a speeding ticket?
i was going 95 im 18 ive been in two accidents its not my car and im on my parents insurance but i do not want my parents to find out i just wanna pay it and be done with it and do you know about around how much it would be?
Can I purchase two insurance policies for one vehicle?
Just wondered if anyone knew if it was possible to have 2 car insurance policies on one car? The situation is this: I share an insurance policy with my mom and its under her name. We have recently renewed our policy for a year and are getting a good rate. However, last week I have gotten a DUI and most likely will have my license suspended. In order to reinstate it I will have to file an SR22 form with an insurance company. I heard that one way to keep your current policy (if the current preferred company does not find out about your DUI violation- which they wouldnt for another year), is to buy minimum liability with one of our companies with an SR22 filing. This way DMV is satisfied because you have made your filing - and since your current company has not found out about your drunk driving offense - you are able to keep your current policy. I need to know asap if this is possible so would really appreciate any replies! Thanks""
First time car insurance?
I'm a 25yr old female looking to buy my very first car, which are any good insurancers? What should I be looking for with an insurance company? I'm based in london""
Is a paternity test needed to get insurance from the state in michigan?
Do they make you do paternity tests to get government insurance
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-car-just-stolen-insurance-cover-george-clark/"
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bibibourellymusic · 6 years
Text
Fucked. ( 2017 )
They say that one day I wont care about you anymore. I want to believe them but I don't. They say that I'll somehow wake up one morning and you'll have miraculously disappeared from my memory. That the thought of you wont hurt anymore and I'll somehow manage to laugh at the thought of us without having to force myself to.
Maybe I'm a pessimist. But I really don't believe them. I'm partially happy you never got to see how much I loved you, which is fucked up. I'm also partially distraught you never got to see how much I loved you which is even more fucked up.
I’m so tired of thinking things are “fucked up”. Literally exhausted.  Like , it entertained me for a while at first. Gave life a little "spice" ,so to speak but at this point I’m out of energy.
I’m also out of the times I can use the word 'fuck' in one sentence. Boys are fucked, love is fucked, adults are so fucked (Im over  them) , Trump can suck a dick, and I write shitty songs. Yup. There it is.
Okay , maybe I’m being a little melodramatic but you get the gist. Its like , without you everything sucks more. I wish I were more romantic about this and I somehow wrote out some sort of deep,poetic, wedding vow because I know that,that's the type of shit you like and I totally could do that but I mean this shit so authentically that I feel like trying to turn this into a beautiful “coldplay” lyric would defeat its purpose. I also know you're not coming back so there's no point in losing my head over it lol. Me writing this is more for me then it is for you. I'm totally selfishly writing right now. I also know youre never gonna read this so I guess this my little secret between my 90 thousand instagram followers and I. Hi guys. whats Up. Totally confiding in you right now. ha. whats the harm right?
Im laughing. Not because Im chipper but because this is just really funny to me. you know? my life. these stupid first world problems. The fact that I'm effected by these stupid fucking first world problems. “A BOY? REALLY BIBI? A FUCKING BOY? How is this even possible?” I know your thinking it. Cause I am too. Im not always this much of a wimp. I promise.
Its like I feel like Im High School all over the again. Its almost like : THE SHIT NEVER ENDS.
Boys who lie turn into men who lie. Adults are just as mean as teenagers , except with money , cars and houses. Its all still a big ass popularity contest filled with grown people all in a rat race competing to be the coolest and the richest. Oh, and I almost forgot; the prettiest. cant forget "pretty" right?
side note:
Heres a question I have for the world. WHY DOES EVERYONE CARE ABOUT BEING COOL SO MUCH? ISNT CARING ABOUT BEING POPULAR AND BEING LIKED AND BEING "COOL" THE VERY THING THAT MAKES SOMEONE "UNCOOL"?
Then again , what do I know right? I never won prom queen or was the class president. Shit, I never even got good grades for that matter. I spent all my time smoking cigarettes , hanging out with people just toxic and crazed enough to keep me inspired, and writing songs and singing them in the practice rooms....and at home on grandmas old grand piano , and at dads house on his good guitar,..... and when dad was home and I couldn't sneak and steal his , I played on my shitty two stringed guitar in my hot pink and lime green bed room.So by the looks of it , I dont have the cool card. not that I give a shit.
Oh and the boy I love? He totally has his cool card. Hes so "cool". As a matter a fact, hes probably on some island with a cigar and a beautiful edgy girl with tattoos and long colorfulhair who takes really good instagram pictures and never complains.
Theyre probably talking about cool stuff like drake and rihanna, the new childish gambino song, tumblr and bragging to all their "cool" friends that'll last them about a week about how they only "shoot in film because iphone pictures are corny."......
While I'm here. Moping like a pathetic teenage drama queen. Self Loathing in the same fucking notebook ive written since I was 15 , eating cocopuffs without milk (whack) , with my guitar, tryna conjure up some passionate emotion so I can write the best song of my life, as usual.
I think I’m having an early 20’s existential crisis. you know? the one were you spend your nights wondering what this life and world we’re in is actually even all about. Here I am, Senselessly obsessing over a boy with a lower IQ than me that everyone says I’m going to forget in 5 years so “theres no point.”
*sigh*
so what is the point then?  can someone tell me the point of all of this growing up shit that everyone seems to be so fucking obsessed with? Apparently Im not in on the secret.
Managers are like Parents, Suits are like teachers , Celebrities are the new mean girls and the government and donald dump is like the grey , dated, school system they locked us all up in for 12 years of our life when all we ever wanted to do is just to break free and be ourselves. There you have it ladies and gentlemen. I think I figured it out. The point is - THERE IS NONE. great.
I’m convinced that I am a 6 year old girl trapped in a 23 year old womans body.
OH and back to YOU. mystery boy. If you do happen to read this (which you wont) and have the urge to pick up the phone to call me..(which you wont either.) dont bother. My iphone broke this morning.
notes to you , notes to self
bibi PS. if you, for one second thought i was bitching. Youre absolutely right. Annoying. I know. Im annoyed with myself too.
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