#i should've liked it when i had the chance and now its gone forever

[kurosstuff]

Survivor!Natasha x F!reader: Second chances? (1/2)

Summary:you used to have a crush on the Black Widow- never acted on it. Now the day she was supposed to be back some agent stated she died. S!Natasha lost the love of her life- now after the watcher sent her to a new world to defend- she finds you. Can she have what she once lost? Or is it gone forever?

Warning(s): "canon" death(s),fluff turned angst turned fluff turned angst again(?), Slow burn(I think that's a warning?) Spoilers for Marvel What IF but like not at the same time, horrible ways of handling loss. Severe Depression. Severe Denial(is that a warning idk), one quick mention of a eating disorder but never really stated as one, reader is having a hard time. No use of y/n I wanted to see how far I could get not using it♡

Also reader is female but it's only stated like two times I think so overall anyone can read it. Might make a part 2 ? Tell me if you want that

Seeing the Natasha Romanoff is like an experience- a good experience for some. But bad for others. The first experience you had with her was a mix of both. You couldn't tell if she liked you one day yet the next day she hung out with you as if you were a good friend. Clint told you it's her way of trying to figure you out.

Whatever that meant

But none the less- hanging out with the woman who you looked up too was great, fun even! Even though sometimes it felt like you were being interrogated for a murder you never committed- it was fun!

In a twisted way at least. After a couple years you two were practically inseparable- Bestfriends. Everyday was a surpise, you'd wake up to her pulling you out for training, to do whatever. It came to no shock on you falling for her. But it was surprising to you on how fast and hard you fell for her. You don't know how it started. How you realized you fell for your best friend

You don't know when you realized how beautiful she looked in the moonlight when you both sat on the roof stargazing- you never paid attention to the stars only on the awed look on her face. Never realized how captivating her laugh was, how the second you heard it or seen her smile your mood brightened no matter what happened to you that day. Never noticed how perfect her hand seemed to feel in yours when she dragged you along side her for some training or whatever she wanted to do.

And you certainly never noticed how she looked at you with those beautiful green eyes. Ones that remind you of the beautiful forest you both shared- your spot. How in any lighting her eyes shun in such a way that always stole your breath if you looked to long.

Once you realized you swallowed those feelings down. You'll never tell a soul including Natasha. Hell you think she never realized. A hopeful thought at least. The only person it was hard to hide it from was Wanda- but thank God she respects privacy. Even if you have a feeling she might know something. But you don't want to dwell on that- or tell Natasha. She's your bestfriend

You don't want to loss her.

-

A new mission was released. Natasha was gonna be sent out with some new recruits to show them the works- how to do things. Clint came up to you. Gave you some speech on how. If you want to admit something to someone do it before its to late

You should've listened. You were given a chance. You blew it.

-

Natasha came up to you before she left. Smiling you patted her arm gently, "Stay out of trouble yeah?" Natasha spoke softly, holding your arm gently. Chuckling you tilted your head to the side.

"I feel like I should tell you that" a laugh escaped her. A comforting silence swept you two. You opened your mouth to say something-but last minute decided against it. Swallowing thickly, you pulled her for a quick hug. Breathing in her sent one more time, pulling back you failed to see the quick disappointed look on her face

"See you in a minute"

-

It was radio silent from the team for months. You spent most of the time pacing the rooms of which ever you stayed in. The words repeating in your head like a broken record.

"The mission has been compromised. No word of anyone making it"

Natasha should be fine. She's a strong woman. The best in the business, there was not a thing to worry about. Nothing at all. All you have to do is sit down and wait for Natasha to come through the doors then it'll be all fine again.

A call of your name drew your attention the Agent in the room. He wore a grim look on his face. Stopping infront of you, he held a necklace. A familiar one. You froze

A broken arrow necklace

"I'm so sorry. There was no survivors. This was all we could find intact-"

You don't remember what happened next. All you knew was the cry soemone let out- how arms wrapped around you. Thats when you knew the one yelling.

Was you.

-

The rest following weeks went by in a blur you don't fully remember everything. What you do remember is how Clint brought you to his farm for a while how he and his wife watched you carefully. How you could still pretend for their kids- no matter how broken inside you were- you couldn't break infront of them. They lost their Aunt, they need someone strong for them. You can help play into that role. But that was still hard. In a way, you never properly grieved her death

You were giving time off. You spent that time getting better, healing in your own way. But it was like she was haunting you. When you thought you were alone you felt like she was there. The therapist you were forced to have- Said it might be the guilt of what you didn't say to her before hand. The guilt of if you were there- which you knew was impossible for you to be.

Clint visits you as often as he can, says he misses you, wants to be there for you. But deep inside you can't help but think if it could just be because of how hard you took the news. How you broke down infront of everyone. You can't bring yourself to be embarrassed of it- you could never be embarrassed of breaking down crying over someone's death- much less the woman you loved. But you couldn't handle the pitying looks everyone gave you, the same looks that carried on weeks on. How no one allowed you to be alone like- they couldn't trust you to be alone. You were fine.

It's all ok, your fine. You can explain the dark circles. Just been training, the skinny look on you. Been dieting. Taking a deep breath today you finally were gonna take the first step. Get out of this depression cycle. You can't handle it anymore- and certainly none of the others can either. Standing from your bed you looked at the picture next to you. Picking it up, you smiled sadly. It was of you and Natasha hugging at a festival, her first one. The memories brought a happy smile to your face, then a sad lone tear. Whiping it away quickly as quickly as it appeared.

Putting the picture down you let out a deep broken sigh. Walking out the door. Dispite it being months since her unfortunate passing it felt like she was still there. In a sense she was, as cliché as it sounds- she was all over the apartment. Everywhere you looked you could picture her just standing or even laying about. Hell she practically was a roommate on how much she is-used to be over.

The jacket she left on the chair in the dinning room was evident of that. You refused to move it even after you found out. It felt like it would be wrong in-a weird sense. You couldn't explain it, but it gave you a form of comfort seeing it. Like if it was there Natasha would walk through those doors again laughing saying she forgot her jacket- like she used to.

But she can't. Not anymore.

It passed your mind a could of times, moving. Some days staying in the apartment was hard, the reminders of an old friend-what could have been. It swarmed your mind invading all your senses. Putting you in overdrive, a panic. You never know how to deal with it, unlike all the other.. passing of loved ones. Natasha hurt the worst.

Maybe it was cause you've never loved someone like you love Natasha. Sitting up from the couch you grumbled in annoyance. Going to the kitchen for a drink. Opening the fridge you froze holding the drink, the front door was open. Slowly you bent back up, drink in hand to avoid alerting the intruder that you knew. Patting your pocket after closing the fridge you cursed under your breath. You forgot your knife.

Turning around. You froze. The drink fell you didn't even hear the glass shattering. All sorts of emotions hit you in your chest. Shock, horror, sorrow, relief, then confusion. It wasn't possible. What you were seeing wasn't possible

"Nat?" Your voice cracked, no- this isn't possible. How the hell is she here? Natasha Romanoff was-no IS dead. Who the fuck was this? This isn't the Natasha you know. But it is. The same shade of red hair- much shorter then you remember, the same green eyes you first fell in love with. Everything was her- but it felt off. Like she didn't belong here. And she didnt

Taking a step forward towards you- you took a step back watching the hurt cross the woman's face. "Who are you?" Glaring at the stranger. Tears started to fill your eyes. Are you going crazy? Was this even real?

"It's me- Natasha" it sounded just like her. The same raspy voice you loved.

"No. No. You-" you choked out "your not Natasha. Your not my Natasha. She's dead. They said she died.." sobbing you rubbed the tears away aggressively. Your eyes turning raw "w-was it all a lie?"

It broke Natasha's heart hearing how broken you were. Tears of her own spilt at the realization. Just like how she lost you. You lost her. Walking up to you slowly to not scare you "I am Natasha. But no. I'm not the Natasha you knew." Wrapping her arms around you, you let her pull you into her the same way she used to. Even her hugs were the same. Her smell.

"I'll-" swallowing thickly. She cleared her throat "I'll explain everything." And she did. She explained how she lost you right before she could propose. A mission gone bad- how she was sent here. How happy she was to see you again even though you weren't hers, deep down she knew you weren't but- you were at the same time

Natasha brought her hand to your check caressing it gently, smiling at you, she so desperately wanted to pull you in. She's missed you. Missed feeling you. Just like you missed her...but. Pulling back out of her grasp you ignored the confused look on her face

"Your not my Natasha. Just like I'm not your.." you trailed off, looking to the side in regret. Silence filled the room. Natasha gulped down a sob, this was alot for the both of you. Different reasons but the same in the sense.

Reaching out in a silent plea, you held out your hand as well- grasping hers. Sighing you knew what you needed to do now. This world's Natasha Romanoff is dead. Yet here she stands, another version- you needed to tell the Avengers. She seemed to know what you were thinking cause just as the thought appeared in your head, she shakily closed her eyes, giving a gentle squeeze to your hand she nodded her head at the unspoken words

"We need to call Clint"

-

Test after test, This Natasha was forced to prove it was actually her. And each test she passed by with flying colors. Except one.

"Did you ever have a lover?"

"Yes"

"Who?"

At the response of you silence filled the room. Wanda was rubbing a comforting hand on your back, smiling at you, getting up she gestured for you to follow her. Natasha glanced at you, watching the interaction with a almost far away memory.

You followed Wanda.

-

Months past by and it was like Natasha never left. But, the impact of what happened to your Natasha was still there. Everytime anyone saw her it was like seeing a ghost- cause in a way- she was. Just like the way she reacted seeing you. Like your both ghosts- and you are to eachother.

Natasha refused to leave yourside after being allowed free range of doing whatever. Just like before she tried to make jokes, act like she used to before with the version of you she knew. Without totally meaning too you both fell into a routine of treating the other like how you both used to.

No one said anything about it. No one thought it was bad- thought it was good for both of you, to heal. Only two people were worried about this outcome. Two people who knew you guys the most. In a way, Clint knew Natasha but not this one- not totally, she acted the same yet, there was a slight difference to her in a way. She was different. Obviously she was she wasn't from the same world, but she was just different. The way she acted towards him proved it

Like she was guilty of something. Yet he can't figure out what it was. He was going to find out though.

"Natasha. I want to talk to you" running up to her Clint patted her shoulder like he usually did-does. Turning to face him he ignored the guilty glint in her eyes, nodding her head he lead her to a empty office closing it.

"What did you need?"

Taking a deep breath Clint sat down on a chair gesturing her to do the same-which she did crossing her arms as she did so. He didn't even plan on how he was going to confront her-just going to go for it. "Why do you look at me with guilt?" Deciding not to beat around the bush he went out and asked.

Natasha didn't respond right away, just stared at him sadly, before looking away. "I couldn't save you. I tried but-" trialing off Natasha sighed sadly at the memory. Ultron- you let go." The explosion was still heard from her. Nightmares of his death, the others. And especially your death happened each night. She never had a peaceful sleep as it was but after losing her family, it got worse.

Finally understanding at least some of it, Clint reached forward and held her hand tightly. "Well I can't say much to comfort you cause it was me. But if the Clint you knew had the same bond me and the Natadha I knew. Then he wouldn't blame you one bit"

It was a start, it wouldn't replace the one he lost. No one couldn't, not even this Natasha. He knew it. Everyone did. Natasha herself knew it as well.

-

New bonds were created, the old never forgotten nor replaced by the new Natasha, but new relationship nonetheless. She fit in just well. Like she never left, the only one having a slight problem with the change was you- because of how Natasha prefers to treat you.

Like an old lover then a friend

You understand where she's coming from- the other you was her lover. But this you isn't. That relationship never happened. You were to scared to confess. And it was to late in the end.

The nicknames couldn't help but make you uncomfortable, the lingering touches. The stares. They made you feel comfortable yet uncomfortable. You didn't know how to explain it, you didn't want to. But it needed to be talked about- least it goes to far.

Sighing softly when you caught her in the hallways, the way her eyes lit up in a familiar yet not way, she rushed towards you in a hurried walk. Calling your name to ensure you heard her, you stopped for her to catch up.

"I thought you didn't see me" Smiling once she reached you- out of a habit she never seemed to break out of- she stopped herself again from holding your hand, again. "You know- love there's a new restaurant-"

"Natasha" cutting her off, you turned to face her sadly, the words that were gonna escape you. You knew it wouldn't just break her heart but yours again, "You can't call me that" She froze looking at you with a curious look- but a knowing one "I'm not her. I'm not the one you used to love" taking a deep breath you looked at her again

"I tried being friends but your still living in the past. Natasha please your hurting not only me, but yourself by doing this. Maybe we should stop hanging out for a bit, you know" taking a minute to hold back the tears- you glanced to the side before looking at her again "so any lingering feelings that we have, won't be there. It wouldn't be fair"

With that you turned, and left. You couldn't bare to see the crushed look on Natasha's face that you knew she'd have.

It was for the best

#natasha x reader #survivor!natasha romanoff #survivor!natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #mcu x reader #mcu #natasha romanoff #i hate the ending #idk #half tempted to make a second cause- ??

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; Hold The Girl by Rina Sawayama (Part II)

IMAGINING

"Could we be imagining?"

"Didn't mean to lose my precious mind today."

"Sick and tired of waking up so far away."

"I don't know if Mercury's in retrograde."

"Am I okay? Nah."

"I don't wanna get too close, shit gets complicated."

"I don't wanna take it off."

"Really don't feel too good."

"Fake it till you make it."

"I don't wanna talk right now."

"I'm imagining."

"What the fuck is up?"

"What's happening?"

"My sanity is gone."

"I know I do this to myself."

"I find it hard to concentratе."

"Struggling to recognize the sight of me."

"I just wanna short-circuit the night away."

FRANKENSTEIN

"Put me together, thread a needle."

"I'm trying to be normal."

"Trauma is immortal."

"None of this is your fault."

"This is so unbearable."

"Make it stop!"

"All I want is to feel beautiful."

"You're the one that can save me from myself."

"Put me together one more time."

"Love me forever, fix me right."

"I can be your Frankenstein."

"I don't wanna be a monster anymore."

"I was doing fine 'til I hit rock bottom."

"Watch the poison blossom."

HURRICANES

"I still feel the same."

"My mind keeps running away."

"I can’t feel the rain."

"I've been walking around in chains."

"Won’t you give me a sign if you're really there?"

"I've been lost inside waiting on a prayer."

"I'm running into hurricanes."

"Always wanted to be best at everything."

"It brings out the worst in myself."

"Won't you give me a ride?"

"I’m not the girl I tried to be yesterday."

SEND MY LOVE TO JOHN

"It's easier when it sounds the same."

"All I ever wanted was for you to have a better chance."

"That was never who you were."

"I'm sorry for the things I've done."

"Trying to protect you, but I guess I was wrong."

"Saw the way the kids treated you every day at school."

"I should've blamed them."

"All you needed was my love."

"We had both had to leave our mothers to get the things we want."

"I see that he takes care of you."

"He's there for you in all the ways I never was."

"I love to see you happy and right where you belong."

PHANTOM

"There was a girl pleasing the world."

"Stickers and scented gel pens."

"Give possessions, get friends."

"I've been tryna find her."

"She gave a little too much away."

'I don't wanna do this without you."

"I don't wanna do this if you're just a ghost in the night."

"I tried everything to fill up the void that you left me with."

"You're good enough."

"You don't have to lose what makes you you."

"When did we get so estranged?"

"Haunted by the way I've changed."

"Claiming back the pieces of me that I've lost."

"I'd bring you back to us."

"I was wrong to assume."

"I need you now."

"I need you close."

"How do you hold a ghost?"

"Inner child, come back to me."

"I wanna tell you that I'm sorry."

"Don't wanna do this if you're locked away in my mind."

TO BE ALIVE

"Flowers still look pretty when they're dying."

"I know it's just temporary pain."

"I used to make my world so small."

"I never thought that I'd get this right."

"I finally know what it feels like."

"Opened my eyes, feels like the first time."

"Darkness used to wrap its arms around me."

"I used to bring it with me everywhere."

"I swear that sometimes I get to be my worst enemy."

"The answer's been right in front of me."

"All of the beauty and love I could not see."

"I see it now."

#rp sentence starters #rp sentence meme #rp sentence prompts #sentence starters #sentence meme #sentence prompts #lyric sentence starters #lyric starters #music starters #rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #ask meme #*mystarters #*htg

[cosmoforia]

just watched episode 4 and ... I've got some things to say, but first my opinions about the first 3 episodes:

They're fine, it had its ??? moments and the its supposed to be a serious scene but you just end up laughing your ass off

Like when louis's brother last words are: " I ate too much checkered cake " and he fucking throws himself off the roof like 😭???

Also the scene where lestat in a jealous state brings soldiers to louis's brothel and he says: well i thought we could have an orgy you could fuck them and i could eat them, and then later he says: I HEARD YOUR HEARTS DANCING! 1!1!!1 💀

I'm sure there are more but i really can't remember them rn lmao, but now let's talk about episode 4 :

The whole plot is based on the knowledge that Daniel and Louis are redoing the interview they did back in the 70s bc Louis is a big dumb dummy head who can't seem to get his life right and now he wants a second chance for some reason, right?

So what does Daniel mean when he says: for a killing machine i kind of like her??? You are already supposed to know who she is? And yes i considered his parkinson's disease but he clearly remembers louis and lestat's shitty relationship and keeps shitting louis for changing the story so why would he forget about claudia? that's just lazy plot-convenient writing.

Also about claudia .... I don't want y'all to pull the iTs hEr FIrsT rOlEee!!1! card bc it was also 11 year-old kirsten dunst's first role and she did THAT performance in the 1994 movie and she even stated that she didn't really understand claudia very well but she still did a jaw-dropping performance, and bailey bass did not understand the assignment very well, and neither did the costume designers -_-

But that's not all, why didn't claudia get her gut-wrenching + " the spark" transformation like Louis did? Bc the instance she turns into a vampire she's already so into it in an annoying way, canon claudia is simply fine and cool with her transformation since she didn't quite know what she fully was yet, all she knew was that she wanted and needed to feed. She was just a 5 year-old kid.

Now I'm sure bailey bass gave her all in this episode and sorry but not sorry ... her performance comes off as annoying and too much for me, i get the fact that she's a 13 year-old girl but we all know that that's not how canon claudia acted right? Even for a 5 year-old kid. Also a scene that pissed me off was when claudia asks for more blood and Louis says: you want more? UM LESTAT SHOULD'VE SAID THAT?? LOUIS WOULD HAVE PROBABLY GONE CRYING TO HIS COFFIN HOLDING CLAUDIA IN HIS ARMS LIKE A DOLL THE INSTANT HE WOULD'VE HEARD HER SAY THAT

Also they way this episode tries to gaslight me into thinking that she actually looked like a 13 year-old girl... nobody's fooled amc. And i kinda don't like the way they seem like a wholesome cutesy family ... they were nothing like that??? if they ever spent some "family time" it would be at operas or goint to finish off families with lestat, not going to kill couples fucking in the middle of nowhere.

And the part where daniel says that claudia was a bandage for a shitty marriage, yeah we know that but before claudia came louis and lestat already had a happy active sex life and louis just brought claudia bc he just can't live in peace for a minute.

And for last, the final scene where claudia goes: i'll forever be stuck in this flat-chested, thirteen year-old, hairless crotched, baby doll body.

Girl. You just fucked your crush and accidentally killed him in the process and i don't think he was bothered by your "flat chest" and "hairless crotch". 75 year-old in a 5 year-old body claudia wouldn't have even gotten a smooch on the cheek unless if it was a kind of what a wonder of a child! situation.

As my final words, I only hope that claudia better start acting mature and fast bc this is nothing what I expected for 2022 claudia to be.

#amc iwtv #iwtv #claudia iwtv #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #loustat #anne rice #the vampire chronicles #amc interview with the vampire

[deputygonebye]

@xgoldxnhour asked: “If I lost my memory what’s the first thing you’d tell me about us?”

There was more to the Prison than cold walls and creaking cell bars. A silence that passed over all like a pitiful cloud, absorbed into their souls and intertwined with whatever was left. The group hadn't been the same since the Greene Family Farm was abandoned to flames. Burned down to its foundations with the smell of smoke and ash fluttering about in the skies - for there was more to the destruction - Walkers swaying with each step, corroded mouths hung open. Such monsters had ruined that once beautiful place. What was thought to be home, what was home, a home that Shane never felt welcomed to in the first place. The group never should've gone there, so he believed, even still. From the moment that Roan had recovered, Eloise and Shane's dearest son, the group entire should've headed out to Fort Benning. But they hadn't. On that damn farm did they linger. Like maggots on a rotting carcass.

That forsaken field that Hershel called his own, it had been nothing but trouble for Shane and his family since they first arrived. It was to be blamed for all of the bad that happened to them. Roan being shot, the search for Sophia going on an endless and hopeless loop, losing Dale, debating Randall's sentence - it was because of that farm and those within it that the problems rose. It was the very reason that the group felt as broken as it did. But still was the truth ever darker than just the simple faults of some lonely farmland. Shane had a role to play, too. A mouth that wouldn't shut and hands that had grown all too ready to deal the heavy blows - the ghost of a gun still felt heavy within his hands - the switch that made all of his worst nightmares possible. Shane had broken the group. Killed and did so again, tried to do such a thing once more in an open space of green and trees, to the man that he called brother, like it was the easiest choice to make. Madness and fear clouding his mind and better judgements; all he ever wanted to do was keep those he loved safe.

A wish that he would've paid for with his life, had wanted once the guilt overcame the insanity, for the pain to be gone from him forever, Rick went against such a fate. Offered compassion rather than retribution, he allowed Shane to live. To be returned to his family and the group - a second chance - to find himself. There was goodness still. And none of the others had the heart to question Rick about his decision. For the true leader had proven himself; in ways that Shane knew he never could. But was he ever grateful for the chance, for the hope that his partner held still for him. Shane would find peace.

"Why do you ask, darlin'?"

Shane's voice echoed off of the walls of his and Eloise's cell. A small space that housed them as perfectly as could be, had enough space for Roan to be comfortable, too. It wasn't home, but it was better than what the outside world had to give them. A roof over their heads - all that Shane loved most were within those prison stones - shelter from true evils of the world.

"You ain't losin' your memories, are you? If that's the case, I wouldn't mind remindin' you of a few things right here, right now. Bubba, he's with his uncle outside, playin' cards. We'd have a few minutes." Shane said with a boyish smile, the first in many days.

Visitors for himself were rare. Nobody came to his and Eloise's cell whenever he was inside of it, except when most needed to. Carl and his father that most constant of companions, distance was kept between the former deputy and all others during most hours. Only ever did Eloise and Roan speak to Shane often. Never in disgust - for there was only ever love in their eyes for he - never in hatred. It was through them that he felt any affection at all. Like he could be the man he once was again, that it wasn't too far away a person to return to, that he could be redeemed. He wasn't alone with them around. Even when he wanted to be most, tucked away in the cell of his and Eloise's choosing, laid across the bed like a lazy lump. He'd never be alone.

Shane finally replied, sitting up properly from the bed, brows drawn in thought. Eloise had not asked him in jest. "Well, before everythin' else, I'd probably tell you about our family. Roan... and Bailey. Our boys that we have together. Our boy that we... lost. How they're the most important things in our lives, try to remind you about how much you love them and how they love you back. I know you, El. If there's one thing in this world that could jog your memory, it'd be the mention of your sons. You love them too much to ever really forget them. You wouldn't allow yourself to."

"Then I'd tell you about your dad and your brother. Your mom. Everybody whose ever been special to you." Shane added while he took to a stand, pulled Eloise close and claimed her lips in a deep kiss. "Then I'd tell you about me. About how much I love you, how good we are together, about how so damn crazy I am for you. Even with a memory all scrambled, you'd know it to be true. Because, Mrs. Eloise Walsh, I am crazy about you. Always will be. AIn't nothin' more to it."

#xgoldxnhour #Judge and Executioner || Post Apocalypse Era #Verse || Alternative Universe #Location || Prison #// There's tears in my eyes over these two beautiful souls <3

[hotgirlrry]

https://bottomharrykingdom.tumblr.com/post/637045884168896512/im-not-trans-because-i-wore-pink-blue-and-white can you believe what this mf is saying

‼️ stop giving that blog and blogs like that attention when they’ve made a number of people uncomfortable and the very nature of this discourse is about headcanoning a stranger‼️

#oh my god where's that post about real people?? #i should've liked it when i had the chance and now its gone forever #again no this behavior doesnt surprise me bc ppl are looking for rep in irl people #they're not static they have lives and sure as hell aren't going out of their way plotting secret messages for some in group on al gore's i #internet #okay? okay i'm done #im blacklisting his name that blog’s name any of the various other blog’s names and deleting holy shit do y’all rest?? #does anyone ever fucking rest?? I’m about to make a recommendation to the apa to add stanning in the dsm-6 #because this behavior this ongoing discourse is not normal!! none of it is fucking normal the fact that y’all go to war every fucking day #from bloggers answering 100 asks about it furthering triggering themselves #to bringing people outside the fandom for their opinion #and just not having a life!! it’s dr stangolden my treatment is getting y’all to touch grass twice a day for a week!! #and down to the root cause of all of this which tricking yourselves into believing every single thing they do has a hidden message #or an ulterior motive it’s watching brain rot in real time I can’t stand it #y’all camped in ppl’s inboxes to either send them hate or complain about them to blogs that encourage ppl to send hate #you’re going through ppl’s blogs and archives waiting for them to ‘slip up’ so you can attack them for what?? FOR WHAT??? #y’all saying people are doing transmisia for not agreeing with you!! making bold ass claims we don’t know you can make!! DEPLATFORM THEM PLS #Anonymous #talk t me

[niskoo]

Memories kept in the pink hoodie

pairing: Ex! Heeseung x reader

genre: angst, fluff in the end ig, breakup! AU

warnings: swearing, uhhh they like break down together

word count: 2.2k words OMG

a/n: another one of my requests!! thank you all for the ideas its really helping!! mmm this one was very interesting to write because i usually write crack/fluff, aaannndd ive literally never done anything ive written IURHWIU thank you for the great idea anon <33 THIS HELPED SO MUCH OMG USUALLY MY ANGST SUCKS BUT IM PRETTY PROUD OF THIS AAAA ALSO IM SORRY IF THIS WASNT REALLY WHAT YOU WANTED IDK THERE ALWAYS HAS TO BE FLUFF IN MY IMAGINES IG 😓😭

feel free to request and help get rid of my writers block!!

a bit based off of 'try again' by jaehyun and d.ear

You should've known the consequences of dating an idol, you should've been careful. Of course they wouldn't let you be together, he's in one of the rising groups, heck, he was in one of the biggest companies.

It wasn't necessarily the company's fault you were so heartbroken, it's both your faults. You couldn't help but blame each other for how careless you were. You know better than to make things worse, and yet you did.

The evening you go back to his dorm after being confronted by the company, you two started a huge argument of who's fault it was. Either it was his fault for not taking caution during work, or your fault for always checking up on him. All loving actions in the past became reasons for why you should break up, thus cracking your relationship further.

When you went home that night, with your backpack full of your things, you did nothing. You didn't cry, you didn't rage, you simply thought that this was the end, you felt guilty that it had to end like this, instead of just working it out and breaking it off peacefully.

Your heart was left cracked and hurt for sure, but this time, you blame yourself. You shouldn't have met him, you shouldn't have got to know him, it's all your fault. And for the first time that night, you cry.

Your heart clenched at every thought of having to leave Heeseung, more tears falling at the fact that he's not gonna be a part of your life anymore. He's gone, and it's all your fault.

It's when you unpack your things when you realize you still have a bunch of things left at his place, you realize you never want to go back and face him.

You leave your stuff there for the next 2 days, your heart still unready to confront and be reminded of the fact that Heeseung is gone. Unfortunately, he has other plans.

Your phone lights up, and the last name you want to see is lighting the phone up.

'Hey... you left some of your stuff.'

You instantly turn your phone off, breaths picking up as you quickly look away from it and finish your lunch. You can feel the anxiety filling your body as you notice it light up once again, and it swarms in your chest even more when your mother winces at the next text.

You put down your spoon, quickly glancing at the text.

'If you want, you can come by and pick them up? I'll pack them for you...'

Your heart clenches yet once again, you know it's true, literally half your stuff is still there and you have to pick them up. You unlock your phone, quickly sending an 'okay' before completely shutting your phone down. You wouldn't stand a second more looking at his contact.

You decide to go at 11, because that's when the other members are at the company training. You don't know if Heeseung's gonna be there to give you your things, a part of you hopes he is, another hopes he's not there. But then again, who else would open the door for you?

You stand outside the familiar door nervously, picking on your nails and the lint on the hem of your cardigan. Just as you were about to knock, the door swung open, and instead of your ex boyfriend standing there it's the youngest of the group, his eyes wide and puffy lips parted.

As usual, he woke up late. You can't help but chuckle as he picks his shoes up and scurries down the stairs, bidding him a friendly goodbye.

You almost forget about Heeseung, but as you hear shuffling from inside, it all comes back.

You two share awkward glances, the tension slowly building itself back up. Instead of the heated, rage filled tension, this time the tension is guilty, and without each other knowing, yearning.

“T-this way,” Heeseung mutters tightly, eyes glued to the ground as he shuffled quickly to the living room. You follow along just a few seconds later, still processing the fact that this is the end. He could be gone out of your life after this, it’s your last chance to speak.

Your eyes slowly travel up when you stop, the beating of your heart quickening with the slight burning in your eyes. Lo and behold, there your things laid, ready for you to bring back home. You can’t help but notice how it’s packed completely how Heeseung would pack, neat and with care. It’s not too stuffed, it’s in the perfect place.

Biting at the dead skin of your lip, you trudge towards the duffle bag—his duffle bag—and kneel down to grab the handle. The moment you pick it up, you notice how the bag isn’t fully zipped, and a certain pink sleeve peaks out from the tiny space.

All too familiar, the pink sleeve was. It was the one he took from Daniel in I-land. He knew you loved it, for you loved the kid like your little brother. But, he can’t. It’s his, it’s his favorite, he can’t just give it to his ex.

You instantly place the bag down, the tears starting to well up in frustration and sadness. You zip open the bag and take the pink hoodie out, before shoving it into Heeseung’s chest, “Take it, Heeseung, Please don’t give it to me.”

It takes him a few moments, before Heeseung is shaking his head and handing it back to you. “No, it’s practically yours anyway. And you really like it right? It’s just a-“

“Don’t tell me it’s just a hoodie!”

You both are shocked at your sudden burst, frozen in your spot. Your breathing is heavy, like a weight is holding it down and slowing your breathing. There are tears keeping your cheek moist, warm, they stream down continuously, the sensation as if there was fire dripping from your eyes and burning your skin.

Heeseung’s just on the verge of crying himself, the grip on the pink hoodie deathly, he feels the material ripping against his skin. How did it come to this? When did it even happen? It all feels surreal, to think what you two had could fall apart.

All the happy moments in your relationship fading to memories, the hoodie representing the fact itself is true. None of you wanted to take it, afraid it would remind you of the other.

Deep down, you wanted to keep it, keep the memories it held, keep the tears that once soaked it when you vented all your stress to him, keep the scent of Heeseung that lingered on the fabric. You were just too afraid of being reminded that along with the happy memories, came the sad memories of the night you fought and broke it off.

Your grip on the poor hoodie eases, as you slide to the floor helplessly with tears messing your face up. You desperately wanted to hold the pink piece of clothing and keep it forever, and another part of you cursed at you for being too vulnerable.

Your hand quickly wipes away the tears on your cheeks and chin harshly, almost hitting yourself for being so sensitive. Before you could do the action again, a softer grasp is stopping your hand, Heeseung’s other hand reaching up to brush the tears away dearly, blowing your hair away from your face.

Before you could even bring yourself to stop, you’re already reacting to his touch, cowering into his hold and placing your hand over his on your cheek, almost intertwining them together.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper into his palm, your other hand reaching up to grasp at his t-shirt. You’re sorry for so many reasons, for not being careful, for all the things you said in the argument, for making a sudden commotion just because of a stupid hoodie. “I’m so sorry...”

“Shh, it’s alright, it’s alright.” Heeseung grabs you into his infamous embrace you would hate to leave, stroking your back with patterns just the way he knew you loved, just the way it would calm you down. “We’ll be alright.”

More tears fall between your eyelashes, dripping and soaking into Heeseung’s shoulder as he himself sniffles quietly into your hair. None of you want to leave each other behind, it’s the painful truth that you both can’t have, the truth you’ve always feared.

A sudden feeling of relief fills you up inside, his words reassure you in a way, we’ll be alright, you’ll be okay, it just had to leave his lips for you to believe it. You crawl closer to Heeseung, squeezing yourself in his bear hug, “We’ll be okay, we can make it right,”

A hoarse and hearty laugh leaves Heeseung, it shakes right by your ear as you press it against his chest, and he nods, “Yeah,”

He gently pulls your head back right in front of his, wiping the last of your tears and tucking the stray hairs back to the back of your ear, “Let’s just talk,” his whisper tickles your nose, causing you to lightly giggle at the feeling, his lips pressing softly against the pink tinted skin, “Make everything better?”

You nod, finally grasping at the pink hoodie and holding it tight to your chest as Heeseung laughs and bonks his forehead right on yours.

For the next few hours, you talk, make up, talk some more, maybe even a small cuddle, but that’s a secret. You make ramen for when the other members come back from practice, you feel happy to see the members thank you and eat with enthusiasm, you feel glad this is how your last moments together last.

Now you have the (practically ripped) pink hoodie in your arms as you bid the boys goodbye, slightly tearing up at the sight of them sadly waving, but you keep it in and continue your way back home, where you would tell your mom how you ended it on good terms.

And that night, you slip on the pink hoodie before you sleep, and you feel a piece of paper poking at your arm. You’re surprised to see a crumpled envelope poking out, your name written messily in blue ink.

You pull the envelope out quickly, opening it out with something bubbling in the pit of your stomach as you notice the handwriting as Heeseung’s.

‘My dear Y/n,

Hello there! I don’t know if i got the guts to make it right with you or if i pussied out and watched you as you drove away with regrets, but that’s what this letter is for. hopefully you didn’t throw this letter away hehe

i just wanted to thank you. for everything. your love, your care, your trust, Your happiness, thank you for everything you’ve given me. im sorry we had to end our journey, but know that you’ll be in my mind everyday. when we practice, I’ll remember your encouraging smile, when we win, I'll remember the fact that it’s you who gave me the courage to start this whole career.

i love you y/n. we’ll both probably find our other person in the future, but you’ll forever be in my heart as my first love, my first heartbreak, my best memory. thank you for helping me through my hardest times, thank you for helping the other boys through their worst times, especially jungwon, he’ll miss you the most.

i guess this is goodbye, y/n. not forever, of course, but for some time. thank you for everything, i hope you enjoyed the times we had together as much as i did.

with all the love in my heart,

Lee Heeseung :)’

You wipe at your tears for the nth time that day, folding the paper back into the envelope. “Fuck you Heeseung, you’ve ruined my makeup again!” You curse under your breath as you slip the letter into a certain box at the corner of your bedside table, patting your cheeks one last time.

You truly cherish the memories you had with Heeseung. You hope he does too.

#ehypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen blurbs #enhypen drabbles #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen heeseung #lee heeseung #lee heeseung angst #lee heeseung fluff #lee heeseung blurbs #lee heeseung x reader #lee heeseung scenarios

[peterrparrkerr]

Aliens made them do it - read on ao3

Second card is officially done!! I'll be posting the masterlist tomorrow and will start posting the third bingo card in August!

*-*

Peter doesn't cry. He doesn't. Not when he's separated from Tony and the others, and not when Ronan presses the barrel of an alien blaster to his head.

He didnt cry, because he knew this was a possible outcome to staying on the ship. He knew that there was a possibility that this would happen.

He told Tony he thought this through, and he had.

But damn was he terrified. He shook with fear and cold, on his knees. They'd stripped him of his suit, leaving him in his boxers. He knew space was cold, but he never expected it to be like this.

"They're recruiting young, I see," Ronan hummed, walking around Peter's hunched and trembling form. "They must be desperate."

"I'm stronger than I look," Peter said, putting on a brave face. He was going to die anyway. He wanted to die like Spiderman, not like Peter Parker.

"I'm sure," Ronan hummed. He finishes his lap around Peter before standing in front of him. "Has anyone told you what exactly you were up against before throwing you to the lions?"

The barrel of the gun presses under Peter's chin, forcing him to crane his neck. He swallows thickly, blinking rapidly against frightened tears.

"Something as tiny and fragile as you must know you stand no chance against the almighty Thanos," Ronan continued, not giving Peter a chance to answer -not that he would.

"Its a suicide mission," the blue alien continued. "One that landed you in my grasp, and no closer to Thanos.

"And what to do with you," Ronan hummed, looking deep in thought for a moment. Peter felt his mouth grow dry.

Aunt May would never know what happened to him. He'd leave her all alone. And what happened if none of the other Avengers could stop him?

Would she be one of the ones killed by Thanos? Or would she be left behind. Left wondering if Peter was alive somewhere or gone like the rest of half the population. Peter didn't know which was worse.

"Killing you would be a waste," Ronan continued, oblivious to Peter's inner turmoil. "I'm sure we could find some way to entertain ourselves, hmm?"

Peter's first thought was torture, and he felt his breath hitching. It made Ronan grin, dark teeth juxtaposing against his blue skin.

"Oh, yes, I have the perfect thing for you and your little friends."

Peter tried not to shout when Ronan grabbed him by the hair, but he tugged Peter from his knees, and he couldn't help it.

Peter gripped Ronan's wrist, wincing and whimpering as he was half dragged across the floor.

"I've always wondered how humans worked," Ronan mused. "And now I've got four of them."

"Please-" Peter gasped wetly, tears burning his eyes. Ronan takes him into a dark room and yanks him forward before dropping him.

Peter falls onto his chest, not having enough to catch himself. He coughs as he gets his hands under him, pushing himself off the ground.

A heavy boot lands on his back and shoves him back down, and Peter grunts, scrambling to get up off the floor.

"Now now, no need to make a fuss," Ronan murmured, voice deep. "Bring in the sarcastic one. Take the other two humans and have fun."

"No!" Peter shouted. "Le-leave them alone-"

He's cut off when the boot grinds down on his shoulder blade. He winces, chest heaving as two other blue aliens leave the room, shutting the door behind them.

"Its best you behave, human," Ronan presses, leaning over Peter, putting more weight on Peter's back. "Your behavior from here on out determines how fast you and your friends die at my hand."

Peter chokes on a sharp exhale, tears spilling over his eyelashes.

It doesn't take long for the doors to open again, and Peter can hear Tony, grumbling and digging himself into a hole, like always.

"Ah, just who we were waiting for," Ronan said cheerfully. "Come join us."

Peter lays on the floor under Ronan's boot, knowing he wasn't strong enough to buck him off.

Tony comes into his line of sight, and he looks pissed. Thdyd taken his suit too, though he had a track suit on underneath.

Peter stupidly wondered if Tony would make his suit able to hide clothes as well -so he didnt have to go around in his boxers- before remembering there wouldn't be a chance to.

"You okay, kid?" Tony asked, eyeing Peter. Peter could only nod.

Ronan removed his boot before bending down and grabbing Peter by the hair.

Peter yelped and scrambled to his feet, and Tony took a step forward, face contortions in rage before two other Kree grabbed him by the arms.

"Humans are so strange," Ronan hummed, pulling Peter in close by his hair. Peter held onto his wrist, wincing and stumbling as he was guided around. "Your customs and traditions have always been odd, though I've never seen them practiced."

Peter whimpers as Ronan draws his head back, exposing his neck. He looks down at Peter just as Peter feels cold metal press into his throat.

"Leave him alone," Tony demands. Peter can't see him, but he knows from the scuffle that he'd tried to charge at them again but was held back. "I swear to God, you kill him and I'll blow this ship to pieces."

Ronan chuckled, eyes alit with amusement. "I'm not going to hurt him yet," Ronan promised.

"Not until I see you fuck him."

Peter's eyes widen at that.

"Fuck you," Tony snapped. Ronan laughed. "No fucking way am I going to do-"

"Either you fuck him, or I kill you where you stand," Ronan growled, aiming the alien tech towards Tony.

"Do it," Tony growled back. "I'm not scared of you."

"No?" Ronan asked. Peter lets out a desperate sob, trembling against the alien. "He seems pretty scared of me."

Peter can't help flinching when the alien blaster is pressed back into his throat.

Ronan then leans down, dark purple tongue poking out between darker teeth. Peter cries out, struggling against his hold as the alien licks a strip up Peter's cheek, from jaw up to his eyebrow.

"Fuckin- leave him alone!" Tony nearly screams. Peter manages to turn his head, but it tightens the hold Ronan has on his hair.

"Fuck him, or I will," Ronan demanded. "And I wont be nice about it."

Peter doesn't think his knees will hold him much longer. He openly cries, breath heaving in his chest.

"You can't-" Peter gasped out.

"Oh, but I can," Ronan said. "Do you think your fragile human body can handle me, little one?"

Peter chokes on a sob, struggling in his hold a little more as Ronan licks at his jaw again.

"I've heard humans tear so easily," Ronan continues, loud enough for Tony to hear over Peter's crying. "Poor thing might die before I even get a chance to fuck him properly."

"Fine!" Tony shouted. "Fine, alright, I'll do it- just- just let him go."

Ronan smiles against Peter's skin, and he's suddenly released. Peter almost drops to the floor, but he catches himself and rushes from the alien, into Tony's chest.

The older man is quick to hold him tight, hashing Peter and holding him tight.

"I'm waiting," Ronan called. "Entertain me."

Peter buries his face deeper into Tony's chest, arms wrapped around his torso.

"Pete," Tony winces, lowering his head. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Peter shakes his head, sobbing breathlessly. He doesn't fight him when Tony pulls him to the floor, the whole time apologizing over and over.

"Just- just lay down, Peter," Tony murmurs, his own hands shaking. "Close your eyes."

Peter sobs as he lays on the cold ground, body stiff and vision blurry.

He can see Ronan and the two other Kree watching them, sitting and smirking together. Peter tries so hard to calm his crying, but it seems to make it worse.

Tony takes Peter's boxers off, kneeling between his legs.

Peter covers himself with his hands, trembling.

"I'm so sorry," Tony murmured, leaning over him. Peter can't look as Tony takes himself out of his pants.

He's never prayed for death before now. He sobs and begs for this not to happen, for Ronan to just kill them and get this over with.

"I'm sorry."

Its the last thing Tony says before pressing into him. Peter arches, a strangled cry forced past his lips.

He can hear the Kree laughing, egging Tony on. Peter sobs as Tony presses all the way in, lowering himself.

Peter realizes he's hiding Peter as best he can, resting on his elbows. Peter wraps his arms around Tony's neck, burying his nose into his shoulder as Tony thrusts into him.

It lasts forever. He knows neither of them are enjoying it. But Peter knows why Tony's doing this. Knows why he chose to do it instead of letting Ronan.

And Peter can't help but love him for it. But he hates him too. Hates that the two of them are in this position.

Mostly he hates himself. He should've listened when Tony told him to go home. If he had just stayed on the bus, Tony and Dr. Strange might've gotten away.

"I'm so so sorry, Peter," Tony whispered against Peter's ear. He sounded wrecked, broken and disgusted with himself.

Peter whimpers against his shoulder as he's fucked into the cold floor.

"Its okay," he manages through his crying. "Its okay, its okay."

Tony just shakes his head, exhaling wetly against him.

Peter feels his balls tighten up, and he hates himself. He sobs and closes his eyes, hiding his face against Tony seconds before he cums.

"Shh, shh," Tony hushes, holding Peter tight. "I've got you."

But Peter knows he doesn't. Not really. He's just as defenseless as Peter is. They're trapped in space with aliens just slightly less villainous than Thanos himself.

He has to bite back a mewling sob as Tony cums moments later, painting Peter's inner walls in warm semen.

He doesn't stay attached to Peter for longer than needed. Peter's boxers are pulled back on and then Tony is pulling Peter into a seated position.

"There, you happy?" Tony snapped, hugging Peter to his chest. Peter trembles against him, burying his face in Tony's track suit.

"Very," Ronan hums. "Take them back to their cages. I might want to play with them a little later."

Peter can't stop crying when they're locked in their small four by four cage. Hes leaning against the bars, knees drawn up and arms holding his legs tightly.

Tony's on the other side, putting as much distance between them as possible.

Stephen and Quill's cage is still empty to the left of them, but to the right, Drax and Mantis sit. Peter can't even look at them.

Can't look at Tony.

He tucks his face into his knees and lets the sobs wrack his body, shoulders shaking with each shuddering breath.

#marvel #tony stark #peter parker #starker #ironman #spiderman #my writing #ao3 #sfsummerbingo21 #nff

[gingerteaonthetardis]

rose tyler / forever is the sweetest con

ah!! thank you for your patience in waiting for this! i've been in a real writing rut (as i'm sure you know), but i just sat down and wrote this the other day, basically in one go. however, i did that before googling the phrase and realizing this is a taylor swift thing (lyric? 'chapter'? i do not know, i'm sorry)... but hopefully this angsty little bit of introspection still fits.

-

𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧

-

Overhead, the sky feels so heavy she can hardly breathe. Grey clouds—grey ships passing through them—grey everything. It presses down on her like the weight of years, compressing her chest.

She doesn't know why she keeps doing it.

But it is an inevitable impulse.

She drives out into the country on nights like this, when there's no promise of rain, and she lays with her back against the cold windshield, and she waits.

She waits for the clouds to clear, for the night sky to peek through—continually searches the dark space between the stars for some sign of a crack. For light to get through.

How long are you going to stay with me?

Forever.

The Doctor once told her that some people believe the darkness she thinks of as space is actually a land, a physical space with weight, a place that is populus and wild: a source, the origin of all life on all planets. In order for the earth as we know it to exist, they first had to lift the darkness, to press up under the lightless land and cast it off, leaving the world uncovered. He said that in her part of her world, they have a different name for this darkness, but that is virtually all they have, because it is the most unknowable thing in existence.

She'd taken that with a grain of salt: there was an awful lot she didn't know. And so far, he seemed like the most unknowable thing of all.

Scientists, he went on, would spend hundreds and hundreds of years attempting to understand what this mysterious substance was, always finding more questions than answers. "But," he'd said, gazing out through the open doors of the TARDIS into the star-studded black, "they never stop looking for the land between the skies."

At the time, she'd wondered if perhaps the scientists would never find it—if maybe they should've stopped looking a long time ago for something solid in all that space.

Of course, she believes differently now.

Forever, forever.

She finds that she holds more and more with that old theory. It would certainly explain the pressure bearing down on her: that of a sky which is a land, which is a barrier, always wanting to return to its rightful place, covering everything.

Dark matter.

And a universe on the other side. Many universes—an incalculable number of them. They cannot know how many; Torchwood has made that clear.

Catching sight of a satellite tearing across the sky, she is momentarily less alone. It's a phenomenon which might've made her heart leap, once upon a time, she now watches its lonely orbit with a stillness that scares her. It moves so fast, a blinking light that will be gone in a few breaths, once more swallowed by darkness.

Will that be her?

They keep saying that they can't promise her anything. Even with her TARDIS key—with her experience, her knowledge of the Doctor—even with the force of her will pushing them on, there are no guarantees that she will find anything once she starts jumping. There is, in fact, a more significant chance that she'll be lost in the land between universes.

And yet. The promise of their forever is the sweetest con there is. She’ll never stop searching, like those scientists—even if it’s hopeless.

The satellite trundles on.

My fellow weary traveler, she thinks, and it cheers her a little, to think of herself and the great hunk of metal and wiring—a symbol of human curiosity, of human determination—traveling the same land. Different routes across the same sky, but familiar terrain: inky darkness, which is not empty. It is only a boundary line.

Soon, she will go further.

Soon, she will pass through to the other side.

Rose imagines herself making a fist, of reaching up. Pressing her hand into that tenebrous dark, putting all of her force into the mountains of her knuckles, until the substance of it gives way, hollowing out a path home.

She imagines a gap in the grey first, and then in the dark matter, in the fabric of the universe. A gap big enough for her body to move through. She imagines parting the sky.

And this—this is just fanciful dreaming, but she imagines him standing there, waiting to catch her. Waiting on the other side.

Rose holds up the sky with her back against the windshield. And while she does, there's room to breathe.

#thanks for the prompt! you helped to pull me out of a major writing slump. <3 #rose tyler #dimension hopping #timepetals #prompt fic #fic and chips

[ethanharli]

Requested: Nah.

Pairing(s): Asra x Top Male Reader

Warning(s): Some Angst, Flashbacks, Mentions of heartbreak, Sudden confession, Cliffhanger, Long, Sister Nadia.

A/n- I brought this over from my Wattpad, and I edited it a bit but this is the longest One-Shot I've ever made, just fifty words away from three thousand :")).

_______________

A frustrated groan slipped past my lips as I fumbled with the sleeves of my costume, it may sound silly but its true. I refuse to wear anything that could reveal my torso, besides my face of course but that's only because its not covered in ink. Now don't get me wrong, the art adoring my body is nothing but beautiful, yet some of its a bit much for the public eye, and I hate attention. Guess Muriel and I are the same in that regard. After adjusting the sleeves I slipped on my rings and emerald necklace that clung tightly around my throat, which didn't bother me in the slightest bit as I drag my pierced tongue over my bottom lip. Finishing up with a few things I quickly locked up my house and headed on my way to the palace, Nadia had invited me over for the Masquerade this year since the last one ended with Lucio and the Devil trying to take over.

I really have to admire that apprentice, their magic is quiet fascinating. With a small smirk I slipped on my wolfs mask, nothing original but the black and vibrant neon of purple and green helping it stand out, even if only by the slightest. The journey to the palace was quite fun, watching people light up fireworks and drink to their hearts content without a worry in the world. Yet it was a whole new world once I entered the palace gates, making my way towards the ball room in hopes to run into my sister, but Nadia is nowhere to be found. "Should've expected as much, she is the Countess after all" I muttered with a proud smile, if only my familiar where here to keep me company but sadly having a grey wolf in this crowd isn't such a good idea, poor thing would be trampled despite her large size.

Taking a glass of wine I sipped it slowly, enjoying the bubbly feeling of it going down my throat. Yet a slither around my ankle caught my attention, and I froze at the sight of a familiar snake, looking up at me with their cute tilted head. "Friend!" Faust cheered, happily slithering up my body to rest on my shoulders, "Yes Faust, it's good to see you again" A pained smile forced at my lips, scratching softly under Faust's chin. If Faust's here then Asra and his apprentice must be close by, I should've expected as much. "Miss you" My heart tightened at the words, forcing the breath out my lungs painfully, and here I thought I could enjoy the Masquerade without running into anyone else, but I guess even an over packed Masquerade can't hide me from them. "I missed you too Faust-" My words were cut off by a familiar voice, merely a couple feet behind me, yelling for the beautiful creature wrapped around my shoulders.

"Im sorry Faust but I really should be leaving, please don't tell Asra I was here alright?" I asked as worry started to pool in the pit of my stomach, however Faust simply tilted her head, watching me curiously. Nevertheless I made a slow pace to the exit, not wanting to rise any sort of suspicion as Asra yells a bit louder. And there he is, my savior. Putting on a small smile I took a drink from a waiters tray, walking up to Julian without seeming any bit out of place, then once the right moment hit I brushed my shoulder against his and shrugged Faust onto him, not once turning back to look at them. However I knew I wasn't out in the clear just yet since a pair of eyes followed me as I left the room.

Being out in the hall felt a lot better then being so close to him. Especially when I'm not ready to face him just yet, hell I don't even think I have the power to look at him without freezing up, how stupid of me to think I could come back here. "[Y/n]?" The sound of Nadia's voice finally got me to relax a bit, letting the tension in my shoulders drop, "Hey Sis, it's been a while" I smiled down at her, watching as her eyes soften before pulling me into a tight embrace that I gladly returned. "Where'd you go? You told me that you were going to talk to Asra after what happened with Lucio and the Devil but it was only him that came back, he said he didn't know where you ran off to and when I tried to ask what happened he'd never answer!" Her crimson eyes glare up at me as they slowly fill with tears that I quickly brushed away.

"Its okay Nadi, Im back now and I plan to stay, I missed my little sister way to much to be gone for so long" I chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood even only for a second, before she looks at my costume with not very well hidden disgust. "You've really never had an eye for fashion have you?" She sighs, taking my hand and dragging me down the hall where Portia was standing. Once her eyes met mine her face lit up in realization, "[Y/n]! You're back!" She jumped up to hug me, which I returned with a ruffle of her long hair.

"Portia could you please get my dear brother to one of the guest rooms so he can change?" Nadi smiled and Portia couldn't have answered any happier, "Yes milady! Now c'mon [Y/n] lets get you a new costume!" She cheered, dragging me away by the sleeve of my shirt. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this wasn't going to end well, and by the time I was pushed in the room with a new set of clothing I knew I was right. The clothing was way to revealing for my liking, even though the color and fabric made me look elegant and right at home. The top exposed my arms and most of my chest, the 'V' stopping right above my waist which the pants hugged tightly, yet the rest of it was baggy except the bottom of it, which also hugged my ankles nicely.

But my tattoos and scars were out in the open. The skulls, flowers, and chains that decorate my body glowed a faint blue color, as if cheering that they were finally free from my always concealed clothing.

I didn't want to wear it, every part of my mind was screaming to tear it off but I couldn't. My sister picked this out for me and this is her party, I'll do it for her if not for myself. Sliding my mask back on I headed out the room, looking down at Portia with a nervous smile as she stared at the art in wonder, "I never knew you had these!" She pouted, looking as If I had betrayed her somehow. I could only reached out and pat her head, trying to ignore the eyes that locked onto me, "Im not very fond of them, so I always hid them, Im sorry for not telling you sooner." She merely rolled her eyes and smiled at me before realization yet again broke on her face, "I need to go tell the rest you're here! Stay put!" My eyes widened as I tried to stop her, but she was already out of reach before I could, and the slithery presence was back at my feet.

"Friend!"

Fucking hell.

At that moment I felt the fight to run away slowly drain from me, I knew I couldn't avoid him forever, no matter how hard I tried. Even so, with what resistance was left in me I headed towards the garden with Faust resting peacefully on my shoulders, and stayed put by the fountain, letting my eyes flutter shut for a mere moment.

_____

My palms started to sweat as I looked down into those mesmerizing lavender eyes that watched me with an amused glint, "Asra I-" The words got caught in my throat for the millionth time now, and even I was getting impatient with myself. But can you blame me? Asra looked so majestic under the moonlight, with the stars that practically glowed in his eye's, I don't think I've ever thought it was possible to feel so relaxed and intimidated at the same time.

"[Y/n], are you okay?" He asked, his voice barley above a whisper as he slowly reached up, softly brushing his fingers against my cheek. A flutter in my chest caused the chains on my body to recoil slightly, and thankfully he didn't notice the change, "No, I just can't hold it in anymore Asra" My hand clenched tightly on my sleeves, nearly causing them to rip while Asra brushed a lock of hair of of my face. "Hold in what?" He smiled, but my eyes drifted to his chest, looking where the mark on his heart is hiding, causing me to reluctantly pull away from his touch.

It was a simple friendly gesture he's always done to calm me down, to bring me back from whatever clouded my thoughts. So when I pulled away he reached out again, slower this time, as if any rushed movement would send me away. "Asra stop" He looked a bit shocked when I grabbed his wrist, but my grip was gentle, cause I'm more afraid of hurting him than anyone else. However the negative thoughts practically swallowed my mind whole as I rejected his magic from flowing into me. The mark on his chest was the only thing I could look at, cause it reminds me everyday that he gave up some of his heart for his apprentice, to bring them back. Jealousy truly is a cruel thing.

"Nevermind, it was foolish of me to think I even had a chance" I whispered with a bitter chuckle, taking a step back I crossed my arms, turning my broken gaze towards the sky. "Forget it, just go back to your apprentice, they need you more than I do" I don't know why my words came out laced in such malice and sorrow, but they did, and that seemed to earn a glare back from him. "What's wrong with you? Ever since you found out about my deal its like all you want to do is run away from me and push me away, if you have something to say to me then go ahead and say it, but do not drag them into this."

The chain around my neck tightened, slowly crushing at my windpipe as I clenched my fists and smiled softly to myself. I knew I'd regret what I did next, I knew it would weigh on me forever, I knew it would cause me much more pain then it did right then, but I did it anyway. Ill have to thank Ilya if this works, putting on my best face I turned towards Asra and scoffed, tilting my head a bit, like I usually do when pissed off, even though this is just a lovely facade. "Don't even bother, its not like you'd care anyways, would you? All you care about is that apprentice of yours, you even gave up part of your heart for them" I let the words flow, nearly letting the tears pool in my eyes when I spat them out.

"Is that really what you think?" He hissed, knuckles turning white from how tightly he was grasping his sleeves, but I didn't let myself falter under his gaze. "Asra I don't have to think it when I know its true, we've known each other since we were kids, you can't fool me" I scoffed, glaring back into his lavender eyes, keeping that gaze was a lot harder then I thought it would be. Before he could speak up I made sure to cut him off, "You love 'em, that's the only reason you'd do it right? Because you love them? Let me guess, you couldn't live without them could you?" I rolled my eyes, looking off to my left, practically feeling his breath hitch for a moment, confirming what I needed to know.

Im sorry Asra.

You don't have to forgive me.

Because I highly doubt these chains will go anywhere, I can never be free. Even with you by my side, the one person that keeps me together, the one person that I'd risk everything for.

Im so sorry.

"Just leave already, its not like you want to be here anyways right? So just leave me alone, I don't want you here."

_____

I don't remember much after that, but I do know he left, and I was left alone to wallow in my own despair. The chains got tighter over the year, so tight that the only thing keeping me breathing is all the techniques I've learned, and the fact I learned how to hold my breath for a long while. A few tears slip past my [E/c] eyes, that Faust happily wipes away with her tail, rubbing her face against my cheek, "Friend!" She smiles, curling against me, it felt so good to have her around again. Even if this'll be the last time.

The chains tighten a slight fraction, forcing me to hold my breath. "[Y/n]?" My body tensed at how my name rolled off his lips, it felt like a distant dream, like this isn't actually happening, but one look at him and I know its real. My god has he always looked so gorgeous? Or am I going crazy? Probably both. Once [E/c] met Lavender I knew I was done, his hairs pushed back like last year though the mask kinda looks the same, with only a few added touches, and his costume definitely gets him to stand out above the rest, just a beautiful array of bright colors clashing against his mixed skin, it hugs his figure perfectly. He looks like a god amongst the light of the fountain.

"Its me" I sighed out, reluctantly turning my gaze back to my feet. I couldn't help the surprise when he moved in front of me, placing both hands on my cheeks, looking into my eyes with such relief that I could hardly believe it. His touch sent shivers down my spine, slowly I started to breathe again as the chains retract a bit, I had clearly forgotten how revealing my clothes are, cause once the chains pulled back Asra's eyes shifted to them.  "How long have you had these?" He asked, trailing his hands down to trace the marking with a soft touch, "Asra wait-" Yet the mark appears, the same one he has, just mine glowed a faint blue in the center of my chest.

His eyes widened seeing the mark, keeping his eyes on it as if it were to attack at any moment, "You've never had chains, its always been your skulls and flowers, is it because of this? Why didn't you tell me about this?" He looked hurt, the same hurt in his eyes that he had a year ago when we last talked.

"What was your deal?"

Oh how I wanted to tell him, but the chains tightened at the thought, yet I pushed through it, Im tired of lying, I'm tired of keeping everything in, Im tired of it all, "That I couldn't be open anymore, that I wouldn't be able to speak my mind freely like I once did." A small cough ripped out my throat as a blue glow tried to burn past the chains, failing miserably. "What? Why?" He looked stunned, I don't blame him, I've always been one to speak my mind and tell everyone how I'm feeling, to be honest to myself and them without a care about what others thought.

But..

"I was scared, there's something I've always wanted to say, but I never could because I've always been so afraid about what would happen after, what if it went wrong? What if I messed up? What if I said something wrong? What if you-" My mouth snapped shut as quickly as it could, now I certainly can't avoid this, cause those lavender eyes stare at me with such intensity I might just burn away. His hands slowly moved up to my neck, letting his magic aid in pulling the chain away from my neck, allowing me to breath freely. "What about me?" He asked softly, keeping his gaze fixed on mine as my hands unconsciously travel to his hips.

I guess it's now or never..

Building what up whatever courage I had left, I pulled Asra against my chest, using one hand to push his mask out the way, before claiming his lips with mine.

#asra x reader #asra x male reader #asra the magician #asra the arcana #x male reader #x seme male reader #nadia the arcana #julian the arcana #portia the arcana #x dom male reader #x top male reader #asra x top male reader #asra x you #asra x dom male reader

[sophi-s]

Cost of Kindness

Chapter I: Chance encounter

By: sophi-s

Fandom: Darksiders video games

Words: 6,471

Characters: Original female character (OC), Raphael

Warnings: Graphic description of corpses, blood and injuries, disturbing imagery, swearing

Summary:

Life of a human after the apocalypse is difficult. The world seems to always be against them. Still, they keep on living. But one day something unexpected happens to one of the inhabitants of Haven. A woman named Nicola discovered something... or rather someone... who seemed to be in equally as sorry state as her entire race put together. Nothing was the same ever since. It's curious how one seemingly random event can change everything...

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Nicola got lost again. All the promises she made to both Ulthane and Jones have gone into trash when with a pang of worry she's suddenly realised she does not know where Haven is. It was supposed to be a short supply run, a little trip to some ruined store in search of food and maybe some medicine if luck wished to be on her side and it turned into a whole day long journey. She hadn't been careful enough and ended up getting spotted. She was too fast for that Trauma to get to her before she disappeared into a narrow alley but she successfully lost her orientation.

Navigating through the city used to be so easy before all this apocalypse nonsense. Nicola knew her way around better than anyone honestly. Now everything looked different. What once was her home now seemed sinister and the animosity could be felt in every, even the tiniest speck of dust. All streets, previously so familiar to her, looked exactly the same, often cut in half by obsidian spikes and pits of boiling magma which made moving around even more troubling. In short words, the entire place was a wreckage. With each moment of aimless wandering, her panic was growing. Inwardly cursing, thinking about all the reprimanding she would get after she somehow finds her way back and the fact that she's most likely going to get grounded forever, she tried to move through the street as quietly as possible, without causing any unnecessary noises. Becoming an evening snack for a pack of Goreclaws or a Trauma wasn't a very attractive fate. The latter could still be around here somewhere and the blood spilling from a cut on her forehead she got when she accidentally ran into a wooden beam protruding from a wall wasn't going to make it harder for it to eventually find her again.. It was very unlikely that the Trauma could've gotten stuck in that alley after it tried to get to her. They are dumb. But not that dumb. Though the mental image alone was quite hilarious now that she thinks about it.. To some extent imagining a Trauma helplessly shuffling to try and unstuck itself from a narrow pathway made her feel a tad better, even crack a little smile. Still, she had to think of something. She'd already lived through too much to just die at this point.

Evening? Clutching a shotgun in her shaking hands, Nicola looks out at the amber sky and her heart hastens when she realises that it really is getting late. The last rays of sun were slowly sinking behind the horizon, slowly turning the sky from warm orange to indigo as the tall buildings bathed the city in deep shadows stretching over the ground like dark omens. Just perfect. There was no other choice for her than to hide somewhere and wait until dawn and resume her search tomorrow, hoping someone will start looking for her. Going anywhere after the dusk was an equivalent of a  suicide. Demons and the Wicked tend to be especially active after the nightfall.. Nicola would rather not bump into one of the Suffering either, those things are especially nasty. Hulking, four-armed abominations melded with bodies of the dead, bringing back all those poor souls who weren't lucky enough to get away… she shudders at the thought and hastens her pace.

Most of the houses were already destroyed and usually infested with all kinds of detestable creatures she'd rather avoid - from Wicked, through all kinds of demons and Duskwings, to enormous spiders ready to cocoon any unfortunate passerby for a snack - unfit to be a shelter. But honestly, what wasn't crawling with Hellspawn these days? They were everywhere, as far as the sight can reach. Heaving out a long suffering sigh, Nicola decided to hide underneath the city, hoping she won't find any monsters there.

That was not one of her most brilliant ideas but in truth whatever she chose, it would be just as bad and she hardly cared at this point. Her legs felt as though they went a couple of inches up her arse from all day of walking and running and her empty stomach growled hungrily as she didn't get a chance to stop and eat a sandwich hidden in her backpack. It didn't take long to find a lid of a well leading to the sewers below. Just in case, Nicola dug some new shells out from her backpack and shoved them into her pocket to have easy access to them before pulling the lid out and uncovering a stinking hole in the pavement. The strong "aroma" that drifted out hit her like a brick to the face.

"Ugh.."

Nicola groaned, pinching her nose. Even after the literal armageddon, she still found sewers to be one of the grossest things ever. Like, come on, that's where all the piss and shit goes and a person who enters the sewers for even a minute comes out coated in this stench. Oh well.. It can't be worse than getting torn to shreds by a Goreclaw, can it? Up here was definitely worse than below. Everything she'd met so far - except for Ulthane, Yarin and Elanya - was trying to kill her lately. At least there was no sign of the Big Bad anywhere… Nicola had seen the so-called Destroyer only once and it was enough to last her a lifetime, considering how close she'd been back then. The fact that he didn't spot her, she probably owed the fact that she was somewhere to his right and from what she'd seen his right eye wasn't exactly in good condition. Though, she couldn't deny that the dragon did look sick as Hell - she cringed inwardly at the bad joke her mind produced - and if she wasn't scared shittless and in danger of getting eaten or burned alive, she probably would've taken out her notebook and tried to sketch him. Not often does one see a dragon up this close and Nicola had a habit of drawing anything even remotely interesting she sees. And the more challenging the thing is, the better. In her sketchbook, she already had Ulthane and his younger companions, Vulgrim, some other demons and a Fallen. The last thing she did see pretty damn close. Too close for her liking.

Pulling her stained, dark-blue neckerchief up to her nose as a mostly useless mask against the foul smell, she crouches down and with a loose piece of a brick scratches out a message on the ground, hoping either Jones or some other survivor will find it.

I'M IN THE SEWER

NIKA <3

Just to make it clear, she tears a piece of her already ragged sleeve off and places it under the aforementioned brick next to the message. It's not much but it has to be enough… Without further ado, Nicola slid inside the dark hole and closed the lid above her head. Utter blackness immediately closed around her like a thick coverlet. A quiet sound of dripping, echoing through the tunnel was all that she could hear.

Plip. Plop. Plip. Plop.

Should've thought about taking out a flashlight before cutting off the only source of light.

Grumbling under her breath, Nicola jumped down from a small ladder. But instead of landing on the hard and straight ground, her feet connected with something soft and uneven. With a small yelp, she lost her balance and fell flat onto the actual floor with a wet "Thwack!". Please just be regular water… She begged the puddle underneath her as she scrambled to her feet and pulled the backpack from her shoulders. For a few minutes, she blindly searched through her things, probing for the light source. When her fingers found the flashlight and she turned it on however, she nearly screamed.

That thing she landed on wasn't a mound of garbage like she previously assumed but a body. Body of a dead Phantom General. Its skin was in an unhealthy pallid shade, misty eyes were bulging out of their sockets. And the squishy bit she landed on was its face. Nicola nervously laughs to herself

"Maybe the stench killed him?"

The thought of a large demon dying in a sewer just because it smells bad was kind of amusing and a little comforting. But then she realised that if that was the case, then there's nothing to laugh at. What if there are some poisonous gases in here? Hydrogen sulfide, for example? If it killed a demon, undoubtedly much more hearty, then why shouldn't it do so with a human?

"Shit.. I hope not…"

Nicola curses and immediately presses the neckerchief closer to her face like it would do her any good. Well, no point in wondering about it now. If she were to get poisoned then she probably already was so… Father would be so disappointed if he found out she died in a sewer by inhaling toxic gas. I should've paid more attention to chemistry lessons…  Anyway.. Standing here will not make it any better. She might as well find herself a place to rest for a while or forever. Unless healing shards work on that stuff, she had nothing on her to help should she get poisoned. Flinging her backpack over her shoulder, Nicola turns away from the corpse and peers into the dark pathway which opened before her like a gullet of a gargantuan monster waiting to swallow her whole. Having absolutely no idea that this choice would change her miserable life forever, she takes a breath and bravely moves onward.

The Phantom General wasn't the only one. As Nicola walked deeper into the dark, stinking corridor, she noticed more bodies. Goreclaws, Wicked, Phantom Guards, even a couple of Duskwings and - this was the most unsettling discovery - the serpentine Shadowcaster… all of them pale and wizened. An unnerving feeling grew in her stomach. Nicola had seen much death as of late but this… this was horrifying. It was like walking through a tomb or a mass grave. Up close she could see something she hadn't noticed before. Something that made her mouth turn sandpaper. All of the bodies seemed… dried for the lack of a better word. As though something had drained them of their blood, leaving only shriveled husks behind. But there were no wounds, no markings. Nicola gulps at the thought that whatever killed them might still be down here with her.

Backing away, she takes a turn into another section and curls up in a corner by a metal grate blocking the way ahead. Nicola turns the flashlight off and hugs her knees to her chest, trying to control her fearful breathing. Climbing down into the sewers wasn't such a good idea after all. What if… what if there are things far worse down here than the demons she'd already seen? Her parents often scared her with stories of monsters lurking in the dark pipes and winding tunnels when she was a child but those were only supposed to keep her away from the sewers. The true reason was always the toxic miasma drifting through them. Or so she thought as she grew older. Now it seems that the former turned out to be true… And if it murdered a Shadowcaster just like that, then it was a creature to be reckoned with, no doubt.

Whatever it is that hides in here, Nicola didn't want to meet it. Whether it was a classic sewer monster, grotesque, with teeth and tentacles, or something else it didn't matter. Looking down at her left wrist, where her blessedly still working electrical watch with sun batteries was, she squinted at the numbers it showed.

7:48 P.M.

This was going to be a long night… If she survives this, she would get out and return to the Tree, and tell Ulthane she will never leave again. Essentially, she'd ground herself for him. If she could find her way back, that is.. And this might prove rather tricky. Maybe if she could find a Serpent Hole and bribe Vulgrim to take her to Haven, it would be much easier. But then again, she will have to give him something. Aside from her soul, she had nothing he would be interested in and that she could still make use of. Damn it, why is it so cold in here? Pulling the zip of her vest up to her chin, she curls up even more and hides her hands in her pockets to seek any warmth she could find. The stench wasn't even phasing her anymore. Nicola got used to it after the first few minutes. Besides, her fear was what she was mostly focused on. At least she didn't feel anything that would hint at being poisoned.. Whatever deadly stuff was down here before must've dispersed some time after the apocalypse after the disuse of the sewers. And thank God for that..

Meow…

Her head snapped up at the echo coming from the tunnel she backed out from. It was very weak and quiet but she definitely heard something that sounded vaguely like a cat. A very small and very scared cat.

Meow…

There it was again. This time accompanied by a barely visible flash of light coming from the tunnel further down. Cursing her innate curiosity, she pulled herself up to her feet and snuck towards the entrance to her little hidey-hole. The light appeared again before slowly fading. It looked a little like… like someone was coming here with a broken flashlight. Could it… could it be someone from the Tree? Maybe another survivor lost their way in the sewers? Picking up her shotgun, she decides to check it out, the thoughts of a monster not forgotten per se, but definitely pushed to the back of her mind. Wary of every step she makes, she follows the light and the sounds of a distressed animal. Sleep was never an option anyway..

As she walked onwards, the lights were getting brighter, the meowing louder and the pounding of her heart faster. There were more corpses in various states of decay and skeletons strewn about the further she headed but she decided to stay brave. Should anything attack her, she has the shotgun at the ready. Something in her head laughed at her hysterically. How can she be so naive to think that if there's a monster down here her pathetic shotgun can do it much harm? It didn't have a problem with killing all those things. Why would it have a problem with Nicola and her weak human weapon? Besides, even if she did manage to defend herself, one shot from that thing would bring half of the city down on her head. And that was something she definitely wanted to avoid.

Meow!

Another flash. Her surroundings were slowly starting to change. The bodies were left behind and she started to notice wooden crates lying here and there as though someone meant to hide the passage further down. Was this a hide out if some sort? Flash again.

Meow!

And then…

"Hush, little one… I won't let them hurt you again…"

Nicola's heart hastened when a shaky voice reached her. There really was someone down here! However, she doesn't let her ecstasy control her. They don't necessarily have to be friendly. Everyone is permanently scared and paranoid since the apocalypse and if she jumped out from a dark sewer without a warning she's more likely to receive a bullet to the face than a warm welcome. A flash, very bright this time. Before, she didn't notice it but the light was actually… green? Soft, soothing shade of green. Who uses a green flashlight? Someone who didn't have any other. We're in an apocalypse, for God's sake. Shrugging, she sneaks up towards the turn and carefully peeks into the new corridor, unable to take the anticipation any longer. And she freezes.

There were many things Nicola expected to find. Even the sewer monster was higher on her list of possibilities. But not this. Before her, approximately fifteen feet or so, in a makeshift shelter made out of ratty curtains and wooden boxes sat a humanoid figure. They were wearing some sort of metal shoulder pads on their ragged, dark green clothing, worn and stained, once undoubtedly fine knee-high boots, and a tattered and dirty hood. The gilded edges of their pauldrons were smudged and tarnished, as were the clips of the belts on their hips and across their chest. A pair of disheveled, dusted grey, feathery wings was closed around them like two shields protecting their sides and keeping the warmth in the resulting heat cave. Through a gap between the feathers, she noticed strands of long, white hair in the similar state as the wings spilling from under the hood.

This was one of those… those angels who came as the apocalypse began. Only… This one didn't seem like the rest. They didn't look like one of the warriors. And were unarmed at that, she realises once she doesn't catch a sight of any sort of weapon nearby. 

Meow!

Nicola heard it clearly now, and trying to track down the source of the sound, her eyes wandered to a hand of the angel, one which they held close to their chest. And there, on their large palm rested a tiny ball of fluff with its fur clogged with blood. The angel was hunched over a wounded kitten, and from time to time they brought up the other hand and gently ran their trembling fingers wrapped in stained bandages over the jagged claw mark along its spine. The green light flared up from angel's fingertips as gradually the wound was stitching itself. A sorcerer then. If meeting Shadowcasters was any indicator, then it would be better not to mess with this one.

Meow!

The kitten cried again and the angel, now she was pretty sure it was a male, spoke with a soft and calming, but shaking voice that reached to the depth of her soul.

"Fret not… it will be over. Soon enough."

In honesty, Nicola really had to stop herself from making a loud "awww" noise as she watched this angel treat a tiny injured kitten. How did he get here in the first place? Shouldn't he be with the rest of his buddies? She honestly never thought one of them would ever fall so low as to hide in a sewer of all places. Unless there was no other option. He must've gotten lost or something.. She thinks, almost snickering at how similar to hers this situation was.

To make no mistake, she didn't want to approach the angel, especially after what she'd seen during the apocalypse - most of them didn't give two shits about what happen to her race - and so Nicola decided, even if slightly disappointed that it wasn't another human survivor or someone looking for her like she previously assumed, to go away and leave him be with his kitten. The angels the apocalypse has shown to her were hardly the kind and thoroughly good creatures the image of she grew up with.. But then, nature decided to play a cruel prank on her and a horrifyingly loud sound of her stomach rumbling was carried over the immediate vicinity.

Nicola cursed inwardly at her stupid stomach - really, she would've eaten that sandwich but the smell of the server was very unappetizing - when the angel quickly looked up before gently placing the cat down on a piece of folded cloth and snapping his fingers to produce a small wisp of normal, white light. Now, his face wasn't obscured by the shadow of his hood. It was just like a face of a human, especially with all the grime smeared over it, just more… how to describe it? Features were more apparent, simultaneously sharp and smooth. Like those of a sculpture. Almost overly perfect. However, he looked ill, emaciated with his cheeks collapsed like this and sunken eyes, seemingly too large for his head. His eyes… brilliant white with faint silvery pupils, glowing like two wisps, opened wide in an absolutely blank, emotionless stare, not unlike that of a man in feverish delirium. How long had he been down here?

"Who.. who's there..?"

His lips barely moved as he spoke, his wide eyes darted around in panic as he searched for intruders. Not that she could blame him. Her stomach sounded like a starving demon and as far as she's concerned, his kind isn't really fond of those.. The angel looked a little like a terrified, wounded animal that had been cornered by predators with no apparent way out. It was… sad somehow. Since she'd already been heard, Nicola carefully stepped out of her hiding spot. The reaction she got however, was far different from what she's been expecting. The angel gasped, his wings shot up like two enormous flags as he lifted his hands. Green magic crackled along his slender fingers with most of the nails broken and bloodied as she froze where she stood.

"G- get away! Back off, foul creature!"

He stuttered but didn't attack just yet. Swallowing a lump of fear Nicola forced herself to very, very slowly and carefully take a few steps closer to enter the illuminated area around the scared angel to make him realise this is a misunderstanding and she means no harm. She even left her gun on the floor not to make him feel threatened and kept her hands up, palms forward where he could see them. He squinted but this hollow look in his eyes remained. Disturbing… Even more so when he started to mutter nervously to himself, rubbing his eyebrows with his thumb.

"No… not a demon, nor an angel, a human perhaps…? Yes, yes… has to be… But that's not possible.. They're… they're all gone. Dead, killed, stone dead… Who is this and what do you want? Your tricks won't work on me.."

"I- I'm not trying to trick you, I swear! I am a human. I'm Nicola.."

She assures the angel, hoping that giving him her name will make him feel a little less threatened. A quiet sigh of relief slipped past Nicola's lips when the magic in his hands faded as he curiously - a little like a small, inquisitive puppy - tilted his head to the left.

"Nic… ola…"

He breathed, mulling over her name, testing it on his tongue but his wings still remained aggressively flared above his head. The kitten meowed again, too weak to stand up from the bedding the angel made for it. He seemed to calm down a bit as he glanced down at it and with a flick of his finger made the animal lazily blink before it curled into a ball and immediately fell asleep. The wound on its back wasn't so large anymore and it wasn't bleeding so the black fluff with white feet and collar wasn't in any immediate danger. Angel's attention shifted back to her. But Nicola was the first one to speak.

"Who are you? How'd you get down here?

"Don't know… Human… a human. How did you get in my study? You really shouldn't be here. What is it you want from me? I'm working on improving my shards…"

"I-... Wait, your what ?"

Nicola's face scrunched up in confusion. Get in where? Working on improving his what??

"No, this isn't right… they need more energy…"

At this point she had absolutely no idea what the angel was rambling on about but she could clearly see he was completely out of his mind. Frankly speaking, she wasn't actually sure if he knows what he's babbling either.. There was only one thing that came to her mind when he spoke of shards and so she dug into her pocket, trying to find the one she'd been carrying with her just in case as he clutched at his head, tangling his fingers into his hair under his hood…

"It worked… I did it, I can… but it hurts… Creator, how it hurts… Cold.. so cold…"

His voice was starting to break as his unsteady breathing turned into something akin to sobbing but no tears were shed and he started to rock back and forth, still muttering something unintelligible. Something in Nicola's gut squirmed - or maybe it was the hunger again - as she looked at the scrawny angel mercifully. Whatever happened to him, it must've been horrible. It takes a very traumatic experience to bring a human to such a state but an angel is a different story. Seeing anyone like this saddened her. Finally, her fingers found what they were searching for and she extracted a small healing shard from her vest.

"You mean like…"

At the gentle, green glow the shard was emitting, the angel looked up astonished and let his mouth fall open. He stopped shaking and grasping his head.

"Yes… yes, my shard. I need… My blade. Where's my blade? Who…? My name? My name… I remember, I swear."

This talk of a blade was mildly unsettling to say the least but something in her chest twisted with pity and all fear left her. A little more bravely, Nicola approached the murmuring angel who attempted to scratch something out on the floor beside his knee but only successfully broke one of his nails again and hissed quietly. What happened to you, you poor thing? When she crouched next to him, he stared at her as though he'd seen a ghost when she realised he isn't looking into her eyes anymore. But at her forehead.

"You're… injured…"

He stated as matter of factly. Oh. Right. That was true. It barely hurt anymore though… and wasn't even bleeding. She's certainly had much worse. It will heal on its own in no time.

"Let me just-"

Suddenly he leaned forward to grab at her, making her heart leap up to her throat as she cried out in fear and jumped away from him. Instinctively, Nicola booked it for the tunnel she came from when she heard a heavy thud and a pained groan behind her.. It was her good hearted nature what ultimately made her stop in her tracks and look over her shoulder. To see the angel on the floor, weakly propping himself on his elbows and breathing heavily. He was very weakened. It's unclear how long he'd been down here but it certainly has taken its toll. Nicola looked out into the dark tunnel. Whatever awaited her in this darkness and out in the city surely isn't nicer than this poor sod behind her. She wasn't even sure if he actually meant to hurt her or not. It was a reflex. Then she turned to look back at the angel shivering on the wet floor.. Her throat tightened. God, she couldn't just leave it like this, could she?

"H- hey… are- are you okay?"

Nicola approaches the angel warily and squats before him as he lifts his head to look at her. And in his eyes she sees pain. Horrible, unimaginable pain, somewhere deep within, that made his crusted lips tremble. Such a sight would be enough to break even the coldest hearts. And definitely more than enough to break hers. He eyes her hands when she hesitantly takes him by the arm - careful when she notices a rag stained with fresh blood above his left elbow - and tries to pull him up to his feet or at least to a sitting position but he doesn't recoil. He simply kept staring at her hands in bewilderment. To her surprise, he was much lighter than he looked, probably because of how thin he was, and she managed to do what she intended but she could see that his legs won't uphold his weight as meager as it is. The angel glanced at the cut on her head and once again, albeit far more cautiously, reached out towards it.

"I can… I can heal it. Just hold still.. It will take a second.."

And in spite of herself, Nicola gives him a chance this time. He extended two fingers and as their tips started to glow with green, he gently tapped against her damaged skin. It felt… odd. It wasn't painful but still strange. The edges of the wound grew numb and prickly as the patch of comforting warmth fell over her forehead. And what was even odder, the angel smiled slightly, whispering

"There… It is done.. I.. remember. Was it…? It was, wasn't it… Raphael?"

"Wh- what? What are you talking about, who's Raphael?"

Nicola asks, probing the new, thin scar that was now formed in place of the cut. He really did heal her. Curious. And it did take a second.. For a moment, his face scrunched up in confusion but only for this second before he brightened and some of the strange mist fell from his white eyes as he brought both of his hands up and repeatedly poked his chest with all of his fingers.

"Me.. Raphael is… it's me! And you…"

He extended one finger and aimed it at her head.

"You are Nicola. "

"Y- yeah. Nice to meet you, I guess…"

She hesitantly replies as the circumstances of this meeting weren't exactly "nice". In a dark, damp sewer filled with stench and corpses with a possible monster lurking nearby? Far from nice if someone would ask her.

"What.. huh. What is this place?"

Raphael unexpectedly asked, looking around with his large, white eyes, blinking in confusion. Nicola pulls a face, unsure how to tackle the odd angel.

"You… don't know? You've been living here."

"Have I? Hmmm.. Strange…"

He murmured thoughtfully, scratching at his white goatee also painted with blood that surely spilled from the cut on his lower lip. Then his face shifted into concern as he tried to pull himself up with a strained grunt, clutching at an old, but not healed yet, gash over his ribs.

"I… I have to get back.. they need me in the White City…"

As she was expecting, he collapsed back onto the floor with a tired sigh not even a second later. Where and what was the "White City" he spoke of, she had no idea. What she did know however, was that in his condition Raphael isn't going anywhere. Even if he managed to get up, she could bet her right hand that he would make ten steps at most before collapsing again. Nicola winces and tilts her head to the side.

"Pal, I don't think you're in shape for walking or flying right now.."

"No, I suppose not… they cannot see me like this. I cannot return.."

At this point she wasn't surprised that Raphael kept muttering to himself about things her human brain couldn't hope to comprehend. Nicola got long used to this however. Ever since the armageddon there were very few things she could understand. It wasn't a normal day if something new and weird didn't happen to her or one of her remaining friends. Any hostility the angel showed before has faded now, his wings folded back around him as he leaned over the sleeping kitten to continue treating it. The gentleness he did it with, the uncertain smile on his face were making Nicola's heart melt. Raphael didn't seem like his friends indeed. He was different somehow. Kinder, softer. Less aggressive. More fitting the image of a stereotypical angel. But also definitely not quite… right. Up in the head.

Oh, well. Who is totally normal these days, honestly?

She wants to chuckle to herself when something gives her a pause. A horrifyingly familiar sound coming from the tunnel behind her. Panting, scraping and growling. Inevitably getting closer and closer. Her heart plummets to her heels. This sound… she would recognise it everywhere. The sound that haunted her dreams ever since the demon tore her twin brother, Nicholas, to shreds. This demon.. a Goreclaw, as Ulthane called it. Whipping around, she just managed to spot the quadrupedal monster - the size of your average Caucasian Shepherd (which was still awfully large for its kind), with long, lashing tail and sharp fangs constantly bared in a disturbing grin - appear in the entrance, cutting off the only escape route.

It must've heard Nicola's startled scream and followed it all the way here, hoping for an easy prey. Her breath caught in her throat as she stands paralyzed by the blood-hungry glare of multiple red eyes. This ugly mug, covered in blood of her sibling was still fresh in her mind, keeping her absolutely petrified. Unable to do anything, she kicks herself for leaving her shotgun behind. Now it was resting between the clawed paws of the demon who screeched in excitement as it prepared to pounce at her. Though honestly, with how rigid her body turned, she doubts she'd be able to aim, not to mention pulling the trigger.

This is it. She thinks, feeling blood leave her face. I'm gonna die. After all she's been through.. Killed by a single Goreclaw, ripped apart in a stinking sewer like an ungrateful little shite. Ulthane did so much to rescue her from the claws of that Fallen and now all his efforts are going to go to waste.. Crying out in dismay, she shields herself from the oncoming attack with her arms and shuts her eyes.

Something shifted behind her as the demon jumped at her and… nothing happened. Opening her eyes, horrified and shocked, Nicola almost gags when she sees the Goreclaw standing before her and just… gawking with its jaw slack as though it got hit on the head with something heavy. Faint golden light running around its body like tiny veins didn't escape her attention. That's when she noticed that the demon was trying to move, straining with its own stiff muscles and growling. But couldn't. It was completely paralyzed. A quiet, barely audible thrumming filled the air around Nicola and she began to feel something strange. Something she could only describe as magic. The arcane static began to nip and the bite at her skin like miniscule locusts when a green haze enveloped the Goreclaw before her. The same light fell onto her back, laying her quivering shadow out at her feet. A realisation hit her.

Raphael. He's still there.

After the apocalypse, Nicola had no delusions that angels, even the kindest ones, are ever defenseless. Before she could turn to face the angel, her would-be killer suddenly let out a soul-rending shriek that yet again almost made her drop dead or simply puke out of pure fear. Freed from the paralysis, it fell to the floor, writhing, clawing at its own chest and screeching the most ungodly noise Nicola had ever heard. What's happening?! Absolutely petrified, she watched as the demon's skin seemed to dry and wrinkle as its eyes were nearly popping out of its skull. Life - and color - was frighteningly quickly seeping out of the demon as it squirmed in agony, wailing, unable to fight the power that got a hold of it.

All this looked like taken straight out of a horror movie. And Nicola, on the contrary to Nicholas, was never a fan of those… It all took merely a few seconds of unimaginable torment before the unfortunate Goreclaw wheezed and eventually fell still with its jaws opened and tongue lolled out, wide eyes dull and unblinking, and didn't move ever again. Dead. The memory of all those corpses she has found passed through her head. The Goreclaw looked just like them… Afraid to move a muscle, she stared at the light that moved away from the dead demon, following its movement to the sight that made her back up aghast.

Raphael. The same seemingly gentle angel who healed a small, hurt animal - who healed her - was suspended in midair, tattered robes and disheveled hair billowing, with his wings flared and bristled. This soft smile was replaced by an absolute lack of any expression whatsoever as his wide eyes burned with the whitest white of unbridled anger she'd ever seen. Green streaks of magic - the same green she found so soothing before, now ominous and frightening - bathing the surroundings in brightness, were swirling around his arms, hands with fingers curled into vicious claws. For this moment he looked much stronger, a little younger… and far more dangerous than he seemed before.

"As long as I live.. I shall not stand suffering !"

Raphael bellowed at the corpse at her feet even though it was long dead and already turning cold, caring very little about how horrified she was. He didn't even seem to care how much suffering the demon had experienced before it blessedly lost its hold on life. Not that Nicola thought it didn't deserve that but still it was… pretty gruesome.. Raphael's wounded and weakened body absorbed the life-force drained from the demon and only then did he slowly descend onto the floor and landed on his feet, breathing out with relief. The magic gradually dissipated along with the sharp prickling sensation until only the tiny golden wisp hovering next to Raphael's head remained. His wings fell into their place against his back, this furious light faded out of his bright eyes before he turned to Nicola to shoot her a disarming, awkward smile as though nothing had happened at all. This tiny smile was hardly comforting.. Quite the opposite in fact. It chilled her to the bone like the coldest winter wind.

Oh fuck.

Swallowing thickly, Nicola looked up at Raphael, now standing on his own legs, clearly revitalized by the stolen energy, and felt a little fearful tear roll down her face. Then she shifted her gaze to the demon. Then back to Raphael, who seemed so small and weak before but stood at least two, maybe three feet taller than Nicola - her head reached the bottom of his sternum. I was wrong. She realises with a pang of panic, feeling a little sick in the stomach at the mere thought that this kind healer was as capable of killing her where she stood as any demon up above her head. All he had to do was flick his wrist and look at her and she wouldn't have been able to do a thing to defend herself. It suddenly made sense. There was no sewer monster down here. No beast that would threaten her. No foul creature that could suck the blood from her body and leave ber as a mummified corpse. All this death, all these bodies… The horrifying monster Nicola was expecting to find...

It was him.

--------------------------------------------------

So yeah. That was the chapter I. I'll try to make more but I don't promise anything XD

The moral of this story? Don't piss off/spook angel sorcerers. Especially the crazy ones.

Also, the art at the end was once again inspired by @coloredgravity 's rendition of Raphael (I drew this mostly out of memory 😂). In addition I gave him a symbol of virtue from Darkest Dungeon over his head. He's mad, true. But he still tries to hold it together :3

#darksiders #darksiders 2 #darksiders 3 #my fic #fan fiction #darksiders oc #nicola #darksiders raphael #raphael #my art #fan art #I suck at summarizing XD #Cost of Kindness #CoK

[moonlightchris]

𝕾𝖎𝖒𝖕 𝕾𝖚𝖓𝖉𝖆𝖞

🌕 𝖂𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖋 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖓

~~~

To my wonderful friends, family, & others...

This is going to be long as fuck. Chan speak less challenge

Haneul, I'll never be able to thank you enough for everything you've done and continue to do for me always. It used to feel wrong, really, to have you care so much. Worry so much. Help so much. I always thought I should be able to do things alone. Move on my own. Heal on my own. I always thought that it was my job to be there for others, not burden them. I never allowed myself to ask for help because it felt as if I was weak, incapable. Deep down, I was afraid of doing so. I was afraid of letting people in. I was afraid of letting people help because that would mean showing them everything wrong. And who could trust me once they found out how fucked up I was? Who could love me? But you showed me how wrong I was. You taught me that one of the bravest things I could ever do was asking for help. Allowing myself to hurt and heal, and not do it alone. You continue to remind me everyday how much I am worth, how capable of receiving and giving love I am. You stay by my side no matter how many times I screw up, and that means the absolute world to me. To welcome you into my life is probably one of the best decisions I've ever made. I promise to keep working hard for you. For us. I love you forever, and I thank you wholeheartedly for everything.

Jihyo, even though you're not here anymore, it would be wrong to just erase you like that. I probably should've said all of this before, I should've let you know how much you meant to me, how much I loved you. I fucking genuinely loved you. I love you. And I probably will always, because what I feel for you doesn't just die out. I know I screwed up, I know I pushed you away, I know I couldn't be there for you, and I'm sorry. I will always be sorry. Because you deserved so much more. When I told you I would've dropped everything for you, I meant it. Have you just told me, I would've done things differently. And I will always regret not having been able to give us a chance. Not having acted sooner. Not having spoken up when I could have. I know you loved me just as much, and I'm sorry I put you through that, because I know loving me hurt you, and I never wanted to cause you any pain. I guess some things just aren't meant to be, but that doesn't make it less shitty, hm? I miss you. I've been missing you for a while now, but it was better to part ways. And now you're entirely gone, once again you slipped right in between my fingers. But its ok, I'm letting you go. I'm setting you free now. I promised I wouldn't go away, and that was a shitty thing to do because maybe you needed me to. I'm sorry for all the pain, all the hurt, all the tears. I'm sorry I wasn't enough. And wherever you are now, I hope you can find the calm you so badly craved. The peace of mind and the love you deserve.

My pack, my wonderful pack. The boys that have watched my back more than I've watched theirs. The boys that have carried me through some of my darkest times. I won't ever have enough words to thank you. Thank you for choosing me. Trusting me. Giving me the chance to give you a home, a family. Accepting me as I am, accepting me as a whole with everyone and everything that I love. I'll be forever grateful to have you.

Yeji, Chae & Chae, you're really something else, hm? The three of you with your own particularities. The way you care, the way you're always there, the way you've always the right things to say. The way you love. It is heart warming, really, how selfless you are. There's not been one time in which you haven't been there for me. And I promise you I'll always be there for you too.

When I sat down to create the family list, i thought hard. Really really hard. What is family, right? Because, family it's not only about blood bond. It's not about having been born from the same parents or sharing uncles. It's not just being the same family tree. And so I thought, what are reason to add these three wonderful girls into my family? And then it hit me that there's not a single definition for it. That family is such a complex concept.

Yeji, you have showed to be an exceptional friend over and over. The fact that we started talking over a sex joke it's quite amusing, too. And now look how far we've made it. I don't think I'm half of the crackhead I'm with you with anyone else. You don't need me at all. Not as I'm used to being needed, at least. And that eases me so much. That liberates me of so many responsibilities while around you. You are a safe place, and I hope I can be the same to you at some point.

P. Chae, even though we haven't really spoken much privately or alone, I can't help but consider you family for another number of reasons. You're just always there, y'know? You've always been. Somehow you got under our skin. all of us, including admin. You're probably one of the weirdest people I've ever had the chance to meet, but it's ok because that makes you YOU and I love it. There's never a sad time when around you. You lift everyone's mood so fast, always. You're loving and caring in your own especial way. I'll never forget the first time you messaged me, either. You were so worried about Haneullie that day, apologizing so much for bothering but at the same time urging me to check on her. I told it was ok even though I was quite busy, but it didn't matter because you are her beat friend, right? And if you come at me freaking out over my little sis I'll drop everything in a second. It was heart warming, really, and since then I've never not once doubted your heart.

S. Chae, you're one of the most caring, selfless, loving, wonderful, unique people I've ever had the luck to cross paths with in my entire life. You're always there. No matter what's going on, you're always there. There with your hearts that put a smile on my face, there with your quotes that make me rethink my day, there with your love that makes me feel like I'm not alone, there with your horny ass that makes me feel validated, there with your gentle words that make me realize that its ok to breakdown sometimes. You're always there, even though we haven't been there for you enough. Even though I haven't. You care to an extent only you can, and that's fascinating. Thank you for everything you do.

The three of you, girls, mean so much to me. So so much. And I promise you I will always be here for you. Whatever you need, any time at all, whatever it is. I promise I'll be here.

Lix, shit, what is there to tell you that I haven't done already? What is there to tell you that is proper for the dash, hm? I think it's been little times in my life that I've felt so... Disconnected of everything. But at the same time so grounded and connected to someone. Whenever I'm with you, Lixie, I forget the world around. I forget everything. Forget my problems, and my achievements, forget where I am and who I am. I forget everything and all I know is that right there, in that moment with you, I'm all yours. And I would do absolutely anything you asked me just to see you smile, to hear you laugh. When I'm with you, nothing else matters. And nothing makes sense but at the same time my mind is so clear, everything is so clear, so obvious. So obvious that I belong to you and you belong to me. You pull me out of whatever hole I'm in and bring me back to the surface, you are my sun, my moon, my stars, my galaxies. You're a universe on your own and I can't help but want you all to myself. And that's fucking scary. But somehow so exciting. You give me faith. Faith in myself, in my future. You make me feel like there is a chance, and you know what? If there is one, even if it's my last one, I want to spend it on you. With you. I want you to be my chance. And l will work hard for it. Because I'm not willing to lose you, Lix. I'm not.

Sanie & Woongie, I have so many things to apologize for. I'm sorry for not putting enough effort. I'm sorry for not being there enough. I'm sorry for those days I lack words. I'm sorry for those times I can only offer cuddles. I'm sorry for not being able to help as I should. I'm sorry for not being what you need. I'm sorry for just not being. And I know you don't believe that's true, I know you don't think I lack, but the truth is that I can't help the way I feel inside. And I know you can't either. I know you can't help it when you're sad, when you think you're not enough. I know you can't help it when you feel you're letting people down. I know you can't help it when you feel you're not worthy, when you feel like you don't matter. But you know what I do believe? That we deserve better. I do believe that we're strong, capable. I do believe that we'll make it out and I do believe that we will be ok. I believe in us. I believe in you. And I promise you that I will work hard to make you believe it too. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving. It doesn't matter how much you say you think you're a bother. It doesn't matter how much you think you're making me upset. It doesn't matter because I will hold you tight and I will not let you go. Things do get better, we just need to wait a little longer.

Last but not least, my beautiful babygirl, my princess, my little girl. I love you so so so much, did you know that? Caimie, my precious little sunshine, I would move mountains for you. Split oceans in half. I would bring down the moon for you, catch all the stars in a jar for you so you have your own sky in your room. I don't think you understand just how much you mean to me. I don't think you're aware of the power you hold. I love everything about you, from the way you get flustered and blush at the tiniest things I do to the way you smile so genuinely at my stories about work. I love the way you climb on my lap whenever we cuddle because that's your favorite spot. I love the way you rest your head on my chest to listen to my heartbeat. I love the way your hand fits in mine, and I love the way your lips feel in mines too. I love your soft touches, I love your small whimpers, I love your pretty moans. I love how one second you're screaming about how cute your doll in Animal Crossing looks and next second you're being a crackhead on the dash. I love taking care of you, telling you to go to bed, reminding you to drink water, calling you out when you're not paying attention in class. You are and will always be my little baby. And whoever wants to get with you will have to go over me first because I'm bit giving you away to the first fucker who thinks they've got a chance. I love you, princess. Forever.

—

Tags (hmu for removal:])

Those who are like family:

@shinhaneul-oc @bunjihyo @illuminated-skz @princess-yeji @mafia-chaeyoung @hunter-chaeyoung @skz-cb @babie-sanie @bunny-woong @caimchris

#ss chan #chan archive

[theangrypokemaniac]

Then Ambipom showed up, and the little miss wasn't half so bad in retrospect.

I never felt too keen on Aipom. It was okay but that inane grin possessed a sinister edge, like Tony Blair after the '97 election.

Bloody hell, what's that?

Yer tail's got more fingers than you!

Nasty thing this freak:

• Teeth like bathroom tiles.

• Grimace about as reassuring as an escaped mental patient peering in the window.

• Chevron nose implying a porcine snout.

• Tail ends like silicon knockers, each sporting a trio of red-raw teats.

• Screechy, gurgling cackle.

• Bobbing up and down, heaving, like a Steamboat Willie reject.

It's the voice mainly. The cheap attempt rolled out by The Pokémon Company ruins much of it for me.

Aipom began Sinnoh as Ash's Pokémon, but so enamoured was she of the whole Contest palaver, and with no chance of joining whilst still in his custody, the decision was made to trade her for Buizel.

I repeat: she left Ash, whom she clearly cared about, given the hat antics, because Contests were a wondrous jewel in her eyes.

It did then anyway. The boss-eyed ugliness is more of an issue now.

It was all going so swimmingly. Dawn and Ambipom made a grand team, sticking it to Ursula and Gabite good and proper.

That is, until she made the mistake of entering a table tennis event.

Really? To this we are reduced?

Remember that. It's important for later.

His name is O.

It is not. That's blatantly an alias for ulterior motives.

What's he up to, sneaking about under a pseudonym of evident fabrication?

O? Yer couldn't even think up a proper sobriquet for this devilish creep?

It's all Barry's fault, the bitch.

I consider folk who fanny hither and thither, referring to themselves by initials only, to be insufferably pretentious.

T.A.P. won't have it on this blog.

Dawn progresses with ease, thoroughly thrashing opponents, for Ambipom reveals herself to be quite the skilled operator.

With no fingers, no wrists, and no joints. Just the palms.

As if!

How can Shiftry be a champion? Look at it, man!

Alright, it's not so severe a drawback as Oddish, who had No Bloody Arms, but it ain't much of an improvement.

It's got no bloody hands!

Yet they come up against real competition at the close, for O and Shiftry are legends of the art.

It's a master ping-pong player... with No Bloody Hands?!

You're 'avin me on here!

What's it meant to do, slap away with a frond?

How?! There's no bloody bones in them there leaves!

Can't have a cup of tea with them, can yer?!

What a surprise, Dawn loses in the final.

Something else to fail at then?

Oh come on love, can't you do anything right?

Then O guilt trips her. Apparently the shrieking simian is a natural talent, but her deadweight presence is cramping its style.

Charming.

Ambipom is given the choice: spotlight and seals or bats and balls. She picks the latter.

Each time the ball approaches, either it'll just bend the foliage, or, when aflame, burn a hole right through, and Shiftry would go up like a woollen nightgown!

Of course she does. The compelling story arc of twenty minutes could lead only to this conclusion.

Aipom gives up entering Contests, a career she adored, in preference for a thing no one knew existed before this single episode, even if it means parting from all of her friends forever.

Perfectly logical thought process there.

Two options:

1. Contests are crap. They look all flash at a distance but it's a soulless procedure.

Ambipom twigged this early on, jumping ship at the first opportunity to escape a lifetime of feudal drudgery under Dawn's baronial whip hand.

O claims to run his own ping-pong school, because in these parts that's how people fill the empty hours waiting for death.

Bizarrely it's situated in Vermilion City.

I know. It's on a entirely different continent to Dawn, as if they don't want her visiting.

Back in day Ash and Brock almost died trying to reach said settlement. It ain't easy even for them.

Oh Vermilion City! Of course it is! I remember it so well now from Electric Shock Showdown.

Lieutenant Surge loves a game of ping-pong! Him and Raichu batter fragile Pidgey and Rattata all day then unwind with a bit of back-and-forth paddle-whacking.

He's at every hour under the sun with the Fishing Guru and Fan Club Chairman.

2. The writers responsible are baggy-arsed oafs and this is the most inept exit in the show.

Yeah, and I bet O's vehicle is the one hiding Mew.

Ah! That's the explanation I've waited for!

Disembarking from the Saint Anne? It's the first place you go when in town.

Captain, calm thy sick, and Sailors, put down those women of ill repute. There's pongs to be pinged.

A likely scenario as ever I did see.

Or is it?

Well, well, well. This tissue of lies is unravelling before me.

• Calls himself O?

• Has such a mundane, yet ludicrous profession?

• Works with a disabled Pokémon incapable of the very action for which it is famed?

• Professes to own an establishment we know from past experience isn't there?

• Enters the aforesaid competition, immediately targeting his favoured prey?

• Grooms Ambipom with flattery, adding a reduction in status by beating her, inspiring a useful hunger for better?

• Emotionally manipulates a young girl into surrendering her Pokémon?

• Shows no remorse in removing an animal from her family?

• Travels thousands of miles from home, keen to avoid recognition by fellow countrymen?

• Supposed base happens to be in a city difficult to access for Dawn?

• Oh, and a port town to boot, stamping ground of smugglers passing illegal goods, like exotic pets and contraband?

• Disappears on a bus, never to be seen again?

The evidence is piling up!

He ain't no ping-pong player! He's scouting for specimens for his animal research lab!

Ambipom's gonna get stuffed and placed in a cabinet for snotty students to study!

Hey, science man. Anything's justified in its name. The future's now thanks to it.

Thumbs up from Pope Clemont.

Could be worse. Could be talentless twat Damien Hirst picking up creatures to bisect in a vat of formaldehyde for the pleasure of a lot of beard-stroking bourgeoisie.

If I were Ash I'd be well aggrieved at the entire situation.

You give away yer best chimp, assuming it'll be safe with a friend, and she gifts it to the vivisectionist!

Oi bitch, yer wanna take the shirt off his back too?

You should've handed it to Jessie when asked. She never would've done such a thing.

She cares.

She just dumps all hers in the tender embrace of H.Q. and forgets.

Might be dead now. Much better.

What is it about Sinnoh? Chimchar gets grief, and Aipom's headed for China's cruelty-free wet markets.

From Poffin to coffin: aye-aye-aye.

Mmm-mmm: Mashed Ape coming to a dinner plate near you.

I tell yer, shameless spanking of monkeys going on all over.

But lo, the somewhat misnamed Galar region is set in Vermilion City!

Obviously Ambipom will be at Chloë's for a cup of tea and a banana on a regular basis.

Yep, definitely will happen. No doubt about it. We're due a remake of Diamond and Pearl after all.

Should that come to fruition, any old excuse to promote it on screen will do.

I'm handing yer that loose story strand, Game Freak!

Any time now. The first day Ash was in town he raced to the famous ping-pong school round the corner.

He couldn't resist, not when he hadn't bothered to visit in three previous generations.

It's coming. It will. Just wait a minute.

...

That's right, you wave goodbye. That's the last we'll be seeing of 'er outside of a packed lunch with mustard.

No? Again I give you two options:

1. What choo expecting canon coherence from this shower for?

I keep telling yer: when a new era begins it erases all that has gone before. That's why they explain the concept of Pokémon EVERY SINGLE BLOODY TIME.

2. It is consistent, and Ambipom can't return as her skin's decorating a fine Gucci handbag.

Plus the rest of her made a top-notch tin of dog food.

#Pokémon #Aipom #Ambipom #Dawn #O #Shiftry #Sinnoh #To Thine Own Pokémon Be True!

[punkscowardschampions]

Edie & Liam

Edie: [Okay, so a school trip moment for Edie for Politics and Society where they've gone down to the local courts to probably watch the most boring cases of people paying parking fines etc lol so have fun with that babe] Liam: got the hots for any criminals? Edie: the dude refusing to pay his child support is just my type Liam: pity I don't have any 👶 I've binned off for you Liam: all I've got going for me is how willing I am to catch a charge Edie: We're gonna snatch one, already decided Edie: daddy issues withstanding, no one here is as interesting as you Liam: when I find one with 👀 like yours Edie: 🥺🥺🥺 Edie: I'll make one for you Liam: would you? Edie: I'd do anything for you Liam: I'm just testing you, baby Edie: Test away Edie: my brain is dribbling out my ears over here Liam: don't lose it, we need it Edie: I need you Edie: what are we doing later to bring back my will to live? Liam: anything you want Edie: I might have something Liam: am I guessing or are you telling? Edie: I don't wanna get your hopes up Edie: but I heard rumours, some kid in my year reckons he's found an empty Edie: and that his brother and his mates are gonna squat in it Edie: but it's in a really fuck off big house in a decent part of town, so idk if it's bullshit or what Edie: but it'd be fun to trash if it isn't Liam: we could kick them out, stay for a while before we do Edie: yeah? Edie: play 🏡 with me Liam: somewhere nice to take the 👶 to Edie: Wonder how many rooms there are Edie: can have a playroom and everything Edie: lucky bastard Liam: do you think there's a garden? Edie: even if it's really in town, they'll still have a perfectly landscaped backyard, patio, room for a swing Liam: sandpit for our buried treasure Edie: and the dogs 🦴s Liam: great idea to blame the dog 💀🦴 Edie: I think so Edie: failing that, the previous owners Edie: clearly left in a hurry because the body count got out of control Liam: won't look suss that all the little pussies from your class who are looking at you now when they shouldn't be are in there Edie: I can think of a thousand reasons they deserve to die Edie: yours is the best though Liam: it's the most important one Edie: I don't want anyone else to look at me Liam: put your jacket on Edie: [stealth selfie 'cos p sure you are not meant to have a phone in court lol] Liam: you'll feel better now Edie: 🤏 Edie: what lesson are you in? Liam: maths Liam: about to stick a pencil through my own eye Edie: save one for me Edie: I love your eyes too Liam: right or left? Edie: left Edie: it's the side the tattoo is on Liam: 👌 Liam: [a selfie that he's edited to get rid of an eye] Edie: my cyclops Edie: still hot Liam: eye patch isn't as useful as a fake leg but I knew you'd be into it Edie: you can stash some in the socket Edie: or a 💎 Edie: can't bury all the treasure Liam: 💍 Edie: 🥰 Liam: when can you get out? Edie: when do you want me? Liam: I wanna find the house & make it nice for you first Edie: [screenshot of this kid in her year going off about it/inviting her with the address etc] Liam: I'll go now Edie: I'll pretend the cases have upset me and ask to be excused when I get the chance Edie: then I can go into town and steal all the stuff we'll need for the house Liam: don't forget the 👶 Edie: I'll look in all the prams for the bluest eyes Liam: has to be a girl though Edie: they're always decked out in all the pink Edie: even if I've left some of my brain on the seats Liam: get some clothes too then Edie: your babies would be so beautiful Edie: not like pink screaming blobs Liam: if she looks like you I don't mind her screaming, can do whatever she wants Edie: I'm in love with you Liam: I know you are Liam: & you know how I feel about you Edie: yeah Edie: you take care of me Liam: I'm trying to Edie: you are Liam: I want this to work Edie: then it will Edie: I'll do whatever you need me to Edie: be what you need Liam: you're perfect Liam: he knows that's why he invited you there Edie: but I'm going to be with you instead Liam: who is he? Edie: dunno, he's barely in any of my classes Edie: Craig something, his brother is called Sean, you've probably seen him at shit, even though he's been out of school time Liam: yeah, previous raves & shit Edie: right Edie: just think he knows I go to that shit too Liam: I just need to broadcast a bit louder that I'm with you now, everywhere Edie: How do you wanna do that? Liam: can't let you out of my sight if it means you're in theirs Edie: I'm not mad about that Edie: I want to be with you all day every day Edie: but I'll stab my eyes out before I look at anyone else Edie: you know that Liam: it's not you I don't trust Edie: if anyone touches me, you'll kill them Edie: and we'll bury them in our sandpit Liam: I test you, they test me Edie: you can handle anyone, you're so above them, everyone Liam: I don't know what I'd do if things changed Edie: things will only change if you want them to Edie: I'm not going anywhere without you Liam: tell your ma you're staying at mine, I don't want her trying to get you back Edie: okay, I will Edie: you're the only one who's allowed to tell me what to do Liam: it'll be home until we don't want it, barely a lie Edie: it doesn't matter Edie: I'm never safer than when I'm with you Liam: you can stay at mine too, any time you want Edie: I can? Liam: yeah Edie: 😄😄😄 Edie: I'm now leaving Edie: very, very devastated about the lady driving without insurance 💔 Liam: who can afford that shit, heartbreaking isn't far off Edie: it's a scam Edie: speaking of, how am I gonna liberate some sleeping bags 🤔🤔 Liam: 🤰 Edie: 💡 Edie: pram would actually be perfect Liam: didn't leave any of your brain behind Edie: don't wanna live that young mum stereotype too hard or I'll be right back in that place and I've only just escaped Liam: you won't Liam: the baby won't need to steal it from you, it'll be smart & talented & beautiful in its own right Edie: and you'll love it Edie: and always look after it too Liam: everyone says there's nothing like it, I'd have to feel something Liam: you know that's all I want Edie: I think even if you don't love your kid Edie: you must still be scared for them Edie: and for your own life, how they'll save it or destroy it Edie: that's something Liam: we could be a family, it's been so long since I had one of them Edie: all we'd need would be us three Liam: if my ma won't let us make my sister's room into one for the baby then we'll find our own place Edie: there's room at mine Edie: well, we could make it Edie: with her track record, that's the one thing she can't not be cool on Liam: mine's not cool on fucking anything, but pretend I didn't say that or you'll never wanna come over Edie: she won't like me Edie: but I'll still come Edie: and I'll try to be more what a ma would like Edie: in front of her anyway Liam: she's up for me having a girlfriend, in her words finally Edie: better not disappoint then Edie: what's she like? Liam: she's a lot but she's been through a lot Liam: maybe that's where all the shit I'm supposed to feel went to Edie: maybe Edie: that's the kind of thing a mum would do Edie: take it all on, for good or bad Liam: she does do that, since both the baby daddys she picked turned out to be losers Edie: same with mine Edie: the only person who helped her out was another chick but she died and then there was another kid to take in so Edie: I'd hate to live like that Liam: you won't Edie: I can't Liam: we've got a plan, yeah? Liam: stay with me Edie: we can be different Edie: we are Edie: don't you feel it, around everyone, all the time Liam: yeah, I do Liam: I used to hate it Edie: it's lonely Edie: was Liam: I wanted to be more like my sister, everyone knew her & liked her Liam: but she got lonely too, in the end Edie: people are selfish Edie: they couldn't deal with her pain, even though it was hers to go through Liam: she used to beg me to stay with her & I did but we weren't in the same place Liam: I couldn't go there Edie: you weren't dying Edie: that's lonely Edie: people waste their time alive being alone and not doing what they want whilst they can and for what Liam: they don't wanna live too hard in case it kills them Edie: at least that way is quick Edie: you don't have time to think about it, or wait in that place Liam: yeah Edie: it's bullshit, all of it Edie: what happened to your sister, your mum, you Edie: we'll live by our own rules and it won't be like that Liam: it was bullshit, everyone acting like there's peace & acceptance & she'd feel super chill Liam: she was angry & lonely & fucking terrified of falling off the edge Liam: exhausted from fighting to stay on Edie: why would there be, or should she be Edie: it isn't okay Edie: kids with everything ahead of them shouldn't fucking die Liam: I should've Liam: before I met you Liam: instead of her Edie: you would've if you could've Edie: the universe doesn't do trades and that's another fucked thing about it Liam: I need you to help me fix it Liam: nothing's how it's supposed to be Edie: Okay Edie: let's do it Liam: you'll really do anything for me Edie: I swear Edie: it's right Edie: it's what I'm meant to do Liam: how do you know? Edie: because I want to Edie: and if the universe is pure random, chaotic chance Edie: then you have to follow the right strings Edie: or it goes wrong, like you said Liam: & this is right Liam: the only way I have Edie: is it? Edie: for you Liam: you're all that's left Liam: I can't do anything else Liam: if this doesn't work, nothing will Edie: then it's settled Liam: you're gonna love this 🏠 Edie: what's it like? Liam: huge Liam: bigger than the one my ma rents for real Edie: no way Edie: can't believe he wasn't lying Edie: let's keep it Liam: baby, there's so much space Liam: haven't hit my head either Edie: 😱 Edie: let's stay forever Edie: we'll deal with any estate agents or potential renters who come Liam: under the floorboards Edie: bet they have loads of unnecessary storage we can use too Edie: wine cellars and pantries Liam: 👶 do have a lot of shit they need though Edie: how many bedrooms are there Liam: 4 Edie: it can have a playroom and so can we Liam: you'll be able to finish that song about me Edie: I'll write whole albums Liam: you can write one for the 👶 every milestone, like a less shit Adele Edie: 😂 Edie: I will Edie: 👶 will feel so loved Liam: I want it for my birthday Edie: have you done the maths? Liam: not in that lesson any more, give me a sec Edie: 🤞 you've not given me an impossible task 😿 Liam: [does the maths even though we don't know when his bday is or what time of year it is rn but pretend we do] Edie: okay Edie: we'll have to get moving Edie: I'll put these condoms back Liam: give them to that lad, he don't need to be having any kids Edie: seriously Edie: his brother already has some he doesn't see, right Edie: gross Liam: I got some 💊 off him that didn't do fuck all Liam: waster in every way Edie: such a loser Liam: we're gonna have to be clean Edie: me at least, when it's cooking Liam: I'm not gonna keep going without you Edie: serious? Liam: you're willing to do anything for me, I can stop taking 💊 for you Edie: I love you Liam: hurry up, you have to see this place Edie: Okay, okay Edie: there's a lot of stuff this baby needs too Liam: I need you here Edie: then I'll run Liam: you can lie down as soon you've made it home Edie: I got us dinner Liam: gutted I don't have a real 💍 in my eye socket Edie: I'll have to use a ring pull Liam: it'll work for now Edie: were your parents married? Liam: nah, but she married my sister's dad Liam: she liked him better all round Edie: that makes sense Edie: same with mine and the others dad Edie: hence she went back to him Liam: dunno what your ma was thinking but in fairness to mine he was less of a twat for a while Edie: can't help who you love Edie: some people are unlucky with that too Liam: yeah Liam: & some people never get to be in love Edie: some people don't let themselves Liam: like we said earlier about not living Edie: yeah Edie: I guess it is scary but what's the alternative Liam: I used to properly feel things you know Edie: before your sister died Liam: if it was there before, it could be again Edie: definitely Edie: I know it Edie: we'll work it out Liam: you'll be happy here Liam: [a pic of the cute shit he's been doing in her absence trying to make this place nice for her] Edie: 🥺🥺 Edie: it says I'm nearly there Liam: I'll come out so I can carry you in 👰 Edie: you know I'd die to make you happy Liam: but that isn't what I want Liam: I'd prefer if you lived forever Edie: then I'll do that Edie: we can have hundreds of babies if that's what you need Edie: or do all the drugs in the world Edie: or go on the longest killing spree Liam: I think that'd take a huge toll on you physically, which I don't want either Liam: I'm not trying to ruin you Edie: you might make me actually cry Liam: stay beautiful, that's what I need Edie: Come get me Liam: [does] Edie: [lowkey laden down with all the essentials be careful boy] Liam: [literally take a sec to imagine them going from room to room planning their lives like adorable nerds] Edie: [this is all so bittersweet we're so mean] Liam: [I'm totally fine and not gonna sob] Edie: [I think if they made it look lived in, it'd make the squatters go away, so then it's just when the landlord/estate agent moment shows up eventually, but I think that would give them a bit of time to do it, even if it's like a week] Liam: [there's just something so pure about this, like it really reminds me how young and broken they are, casually playing pretend like little kids here] Edie: [mhmm, like because she's technically smart everyone expects her to be cynical and realistic but she can't be and is like genuinely if we try hard enough this will all work and be real] Liam: [just reminding me of my pure baby angel Carly in a way I did not expect to be hit by, excuse me] Edie: [when you're more like her and Billie is more like Ali don't mind me] Liam: [I don't know why I love that so much but I do] Edie: [just live your best lives huns, all the ridiculous things you've got for this home moment, also some kind of baby doll 'cos we didn't steal a real child] Liam: [we don't need either of you getting in that much trouble when the fams are gonna be annoyed as is, they should totally film something with it during this week because those hoes] Edie: [creepy, cryptic video in response to where you are like soz for scaring you all half to death it's just our brand] Liam: [and she should practice tattoo designs on it for him like do you like this one or nah] Edie: [definitely covered in biro] Liam: [put your treasure in it's eye socket] Edie: [there's so many sick designs tbh] Liam: [are we saying they still go to school or purely hole up] Edie: [probably hole up 'cos 1 why not but 2 at least you'd know they were together even if not where lol] Liam: [it adds to the vibe of their own little world so I'm here for it] Edie: [like truly why would you go to school, maybe when you're pregnant and we need to win people 'round lmao] Liam: [he wouldn't stalk Rio all week that means #proudofyouboy] Edie: [we're all thrilled] Liam: [actual progress for real because he's been doing it for years and he didn't force Edie to go to school so he could] Edie: [it truly is, when you're just having fun gah] Liam: [proud of you for living real life again boy, speaking of, we know the vibe but is there anything you wanna write down here as defs happening this week other than what we've said?] Edie: [hmm, so let's recap real quick and then we can add anything if we think of it, we've got homey things and he's made it cute and we're playing house so the squatters don't come and wreck it, which is so cute, we're planning our family and life like this is absolutely nbd, doing all the biro tattoos, making our ARG and making a weird/scary vid for the fam lollollol soz, just clearly getting to know each other intensely and bonding and cementing this plan] Liam: [do write some songs gal but I also think they should try whatever drugs they want to that they haven't before they get clean for this pregnancy moment because adds to the bonding that they don't even throw a party they just do it together] Edie: [i vibe that because it isn't about the party of it all, it's the feeling things, so it makes feelsy sense] Liam: [yeah I felt it, and it's so cute that they're doing all these domestic things while sometimes high af] Edie: [like you said, we don't need to be saints 'cos who is even when they have a child but it's very noble that you're like okay let's get it out of the way lol] Liam: [literally ruster are still living lavish and partying with their champagne and coke when they have theirs, tell me I'm wrong] Edie: [mhmm, y'all are very sweet actually it's pure] Liam: [neither of them seem like they would be so sweet and pure and that's why I stan it] Edie: [maybe they can do things they'll do when they have the bub like the park etc so like normal childhood things which he probably didn't get to do much] Liam: [boo how dare you, that's so cute] Edie: [like again, bittersweet but also childlike vibes again and he can enjoy it] Liam: [also I vote he gets on this roof and shouts about his feelings like he said he was gonna on the school roof] Edie: [a mood, and you can be a bit destructive inside, just got to keep it looking respectable so every loser in town doesn't crash your fun] Liam: [OMG but what if that's towards the end of the week and he says he loves her then because he has not like literally shout it from the rooftops but genuinely] Edie: [need that tbh 'cos as in this as she is and not turning back, she's obvs noticed he hasn't like she knows she's still out here trying to make him feel not like oh yes, I have succeeded lol] Liam: [it just is real like when you're pissing about at first but then the feels carry you along] Edie: [oh you two]

[lousimusician]

Cheater -- Part 2

Pairing: Mob!Tom x Reader

Warning: Sexual harassment, violence

A/N: I wanted to get this out sooner but I've been so busy recently. So sorry for the wait

______

It had been three months since you caught Tom. Three months since you walked out on him forever.

You hadn't seen him since that day. You had been relying on Tom's money for so long, you had to stay over a friend's house until you made enough money to rent an apartment.

It had been hard, but you refused to go back to him. Leaving him had its perks. You didn't have to live in fear for his or your own life anymore, you got to focus on your education, and you got to fix old friendships you lost. Overall, you felt like a normal person for once.

But at the same time, you were in so much pain. The two of you were engaged. You were supposed to get married. You loved him, you didn't believe you could ever love someone that much again. He made you feel beautiful and loved. He was a drug that you had been addicted to, and at some points you believed the withdrawal symptoms would kill you. But you were strong, and you wouldn't run back to him.

Tom on the other hand had been doing much worse than you had. Nothing in Tom's life brought him joy. You were always the one to make him genuinely happy. So with you gone from his life without a single word, he had lost himself in his work. He gained more and more enemies every day because of it. The more money and power he gained was never enough, he was insatiable, craving something that would make the pain a little more bearable. And he found that one thing that made the pain lessen, was to make sure you were safe. He had you followed, had tabs kept on you every week. He knew everything. He even knew that you had gotten a little better from the break up every week while he continued to worsen.

Tom sighed, throwing the papers down on his desk and leaning back into his seat. Frenetic knocking sounded from his office door.

"Come in," Tom shouted, annoyed.

The doors swung open revealing one of his men. "Sir, (Y/N) was kidnapped." The man panted.

Tom's eyes widened and he stood up abruptly. "Go and get Harrison."

~~~~

(Three hours earlier)

You laughed at your friend who decided to visit you at the bar you worked at.

"You actually made him cry?" You laughed.

Your friend nodded her head, "Yeah, it was so funny. Like why be in a debate class and not be able to carry your own argument. He got so frustated he literally stood there and started crying."

"I'm impressed Liza-" You noticed someone sitting down at the bar. "I'll be right back." You said nodding towards the man's direction. She nodded back taking a sip of her drink.

You approached the man nonchantly. "Anything I can get for you?"

The man seemed a little strange, and it was hard to see his face since it was covered by his hood. He lifted his head glancing at your nametag. "Nothing right now, (Y/N)." He said as an unsettling grin formed on his lips.

"Um, alright. Just call if you want something." You hurried away. You felt your heart beat quicken. 

You weren't stupid, you had met plenty of terrifying men while you were with Tom. The only question was if this man was part of a mob or just some creep. 

"You okay?" Your friend asked as you approached her. "You look pale."

"I'm- I'm fine. Uh, so what were you saying before?"

~~

The rest of the night seemed to go by smoothly enough, about an hour after you spoke to the unsetting man he had left, making you feel much better. 

It had gotten pretty late and unfortunately you were the one that was left to close that night. You finished wiping down the bar and all of the tables.

"So, Tom Holland, huh?"

You snapped your head towards the bar, your eyebrows furrowing. It was the same man from before. "How-?"

"That lock." He nodded towards the door. "Child's play. Now, I'm very interested in you (Y/N). Would never peg a girl like you to go around fucking men in the mafia. I see why he would fuck you, though." He said raking his eyes up and down your body.

You scoffed, and crossed your arms. "It was one man. And we're not together anymore so I can't help you with whatever it is you want."

"Oh, but sweetheart. I think you can." He said standing up. 

A flash caught your eye and you found a gun hanging loosley from his hand. Of course there was a gun. There was always a gun. 

He came closer and slowly began circling around you. You stood completely still. "You two were supposed to get married weren't you?" You nodded. "And it turns out Tommyboy is still in love with you."

You felt your heart jump. Of course you were terrified for your life, but Tom still had this power over your heart.

"Oh what's this? You're blushing. Do you still love him too?"

You swallowed nervously. "No, I hate him."

"Hm, I don't believe you-."

"What do you want? You're not really here to talk about my love life, so what do you want?"

"Ooh, okay, I think I'm starting to understand why Holland likes you so much. You're firey. But you're right, what I'm actually here is for leverage."

"Wha-?" But before you could finish, you felt the butt of the gun slam into your head and you were out.

~~

"She's pretty isn't she?"

"Keep it in your pants, that's not what she's here for."

"Yeah but still. Do y'think the boss will let us have a little fun with her before we have to kill her."

"Shut the fuck up and do your job, alright."

"Well he isn't wrong." A third voice interjected. "Holland was a lucky bastard."

You slightly groaned, as you blinked your eyes open, your head pounding. You lifted your head finding the three men that had been speaking, circling around you.

"Good morning, princess. How's your head?" You recognized this voice from the first man that had spoken. He was tall with black hair.

"Don't call me princess."

The two other men laughed. "I'm gonna get the boss. James come with me." The more serious one said before leaving the room with James leaving you alone with the black haired man.

"So you were really gonna marry Holland?" He asked, but you looked away from him and ignored what he said. "Tell me why a girl who seems so obviously innocent would go for a freak like Holland. Hm? Is it cause you like it rough, cause sweetheart if you like it rough, I can have you cumming in seconds."

"You're disgusting. I'd never let you touch me." You spat.

The man slowly started to approach you. Once he reached you, he gripped your chin pulled your face close to his. "Such a filthy mouth." He grinned in amusement. "Did Holland let you speak to him like that or do you like to be put in your place." He leaned in closer so his lips were by your ear. "I bet you're a dirty little slut betwee-"

"I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you." An all too familiar voice said. 

Both your head and the man's snapped towards the door seeing Tom and Harrison standing there covered in blood with raised guns pointed at the man.

The man stood up, "Holl-" but before he could finish both Tom and Harrison shot him dead.

"T-Tom?" You choked out.

"Shh, darling, I've got you." He said, walking over and untying you from the chair you were in. Once the tape was off, you pulled Tom into you, and hugged him tightly, despite the blood that was on him.

You hated him so much but you also loved him and seeing him after being kidnapped all logic left you. You cried into him as he held you tightly to him. You hated to admit how much you really missed him.

"Let's get you out of here, darling."

~~

You sat across from Tom in the back of his car. Harrison was driving.

Neither of you said a word, as you gazed out the window and as Tom took glances at you.

"...Thanks for saving me." You mumbled.

"Of course, da-"

"But just so you know. I still really fucking hate you."

Tom sighed. "I figured as much."

"How did you know where I was?"

"I...I've had some of my men watch you since you left."

You snapped your head towards him. "You what?" 

"I had to keep tabs on you. I'm still in love with you y'know. And my business is messy, I wanted to make sure you were safe." You stayed silent understanding his reasoning. "...Just so you know, I really miss you princess. If it means anything, I haven't had sex with another woman since you've left."

You scoffed. "Nice to know you only have sex with other women when you're with me."

He sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. "Come on darling, please. ​​​​​​I need you so much, please just come back."

"...You really fucked up Tom."

"I know, but it'll never happen again, it should've never happened in the first place. I was a fucking idiot. I love you so much, I don't know how to function without you and you're all I think about and it kills me that I don't get to see your beautiful face anymore. Please, give me one more chance."

You gave Tom a pained look. You were so confused. You sat in silence for a few minutes, thinking.

"Fine, this is how it's going to go." Tom perked up. "Basically, you destroyed the last five years we've been together. So if you want to get back together we're starting on square one again. Which means I'm not moving back in, we're not going to have sex for a long time, and we're obviously not going to get married anymore, until you can build my trust back."

Tom nodded, "Yes, please, I'll do anything you want."

"And Tom, I swear if you do anything to break my heart like that again, you will never see me again."

"I will never break your heart again. I can't live without you."

"Then... I guess we're back together."

He smiled widely. "I guess we are."

_____

Cheater Taglist: @roses-hxlland @ladyblablabla @xxomgitsjustinexx @thealexaworld12 @gwanpool @thollandx @pure-sunflower @avengersthotty @simplysushii

Permanent Taglist: @spiderdudeparker @peterparkers-waffles @smexylemony @ultimategalaxyprogram @xxxxdelenaxxxx @chonisberonica @meaningoflifeisfandoms @aegis-s-s @Just-random-stuff-18 @etherealhollandd @roi-yang @ironspiderstark

#mob!tom x reader #mob!haz #mob!harrison #mob!au #mob au #mob!tom x you #mob!tom x y/n #mob!tom #tom holland x reader #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #peter parker x reader #peter parker smut #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #spiderman x y/n #spiderman x reader #spiderman imagine #spiderman smut #spiderman

[granills]

Hear me (Loki x reader One-Shot) - Chapter 3 (last)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

"Can you at least try to hold it properly?" Loki asked, arms crossed, watching how you managed to lift a weapon.

It's been two days in the space, you had to distract yourself  from your own internal pain, from the thought that millions of people had to leave their homes, their world, Asgard. Feeling that you can't hold the stupid weapon any longer, you dropped it as it hit the ground with a loud sound.

"You could've helped me," You shrugged, but didn't even look at him already knowing that he was staring at you.

"Oh, alright. When we fight with Thanos, the first thing I will do is run to you and lift your weapon for you." It sounded more like sarcasm.

"War isn't for you, woman." It didn't. Loki approached you and looked you in the eyes before lifting his weapon easily as if it was some pillow. You've watched him and have already noted to yourself it was a bad idea to try fighting as you felt a slight ache in your arms.

Hurrying to your cabin, you suddenly stopped feeling that you had heard something... something has diverted your attention. Before entering the cabin, you've checked the area, but nothing seemed to be abnormal. The atmosphere has changed, though.

The Earth was spectacular from the window of your cabin. So was the... wreckage? Getting closer to the window, you looked around and noticed more and more wreckage of your ship. Before you could move to the exit you heard people'a screams, such screams, you thought that they would haunt you for the rest of your life. Then there were sounds of loaded weapons. There was fighting. You hesitated a lot before deciding to go there or stay in the cabin.

When you walked towards the exit, sounds increased and so did the voice inside you begging you to stop. As you walked through the corridor you felt your heart beating so fast, it could jump out of its place. Finally, you reached the door, you just needed to dial an access code and unlock it. With trembling fingers you lifted your arm and started pressing the buttons.

With a low hiss the door opened automatically and you could finally see the reason of all your worries. You had to cover your mouth with your hand just to muffle the squeak that had come out of your mouth as you saw the view in front of you.

Bodies were everywhere. Men, women, children... Millions of them, about whom you thought they had suffered enough. Now their lifeless bodies were on the ground. You raised your eyes and saw an obnoxious, dreadful creature, a tyrant that has caused chaos and disorder. Sensing a strong smell of death, you forced yourself not to throw up there and hid behind the counter for what seemed to be forever.

Only later you've noticed Loki and Stephen being surrounded by another creatures. Bruce was gone. Thanos held Thor in chains beside him.

"Let's see if you truly are not loyal to your new crew." He spoke. You stepped back not wanting to be noticed before feeling something sharp, pointing at the back your head.

Loki held his gaze on his brother, sensing that Thanos would hurt him badly. But his thoughts got distracted when he saw one of the children of Thanos dragged you out of your hidden place and led you to his father. You looked at Loki while walking to Thanos, his eyes seemed to say, "You should've stayed there."

"Your last words, sweetheart?" The purple giant asked before examining the look on Loki's face.

"Go to hell!" You hissed through gritted teeth.

"A bad choice of words." He replied and nodded to his child, who immediately walked towards you, holding his spear in front of him. You automatically backed away, but felt a wall behind you.

Loki's eyes settled on you, he could do something, say something, but his voice betrayed him. After all, you were just a human. Why would he risk his chances and save you? Considering the millions of people who have fallen victim to it, your life didn't cost anything. He watched as the creature was getting closer and closer to you.

"All right, stop!" Loki gave up, seeing how dread filled your eyes. That was the last thing he saw right before the creature placed the point of his spear directly over your heart and plunged it through your heart.

You looked down at your chest and saw the red liquid coming from your shirt. The pain that once burned like fire had faded away, everything became fuzzy in front of you till you couldn't see anything. You could distinguish Loki's voice, you heard his scream, it sounded like it was coming from a long way away. Until all was black.

Loki lunged toward you, but the Black Order surrounded him, making him kneel as he dropped to the ground. His eyes fixated on the ground, he couldn't dare to cast his eyes over your lifeless body. Thanos smiled seeing him so weak, so puny, without his confidence.

Loki was thinking as all the children of Thanos surrounded him. In an instant, Loki turned his face toward Stephen, who stepped back when the Order had attacked Loki. Loki looked at him and screamed, "Bring everything back!!!"

Stephen waved his arms in the air and before Thanos could attack the green light swallowed everything there.

***

After a few seconds Loki let your hand. He wanted to leave, but stopped at the gate and turned to you. "I wanted to say that we evacuate people in a few days. And when I say "we" I mean... Bruce, me and Stephen." With those words he wanted to leave, but you stopped him.

"What? Wait, I can come, too. I'll help." You assured him.

"You're not coming." He said with a stern voice as if you offended him. After he'd left you had that feeling as if you'd missed something... something.

#imagine #loki #loki laufeyson #loki one shot #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki x reader #asgard #loki of asgard #loki imagines #imagine loki

[dis-pose-able-blog]

Blue moon- vmin

Note: So hi? I was listening to 4 o'clock and well remembered that it was written based off of Jimin and then I like properly appreciated the lyrics once again because is a beautiful song and well I was like hey, why not write a one-shot based off of it... so I did and I ended up enjoying what I'd written (kind of) and well I wanted to publish it but it's a one-shot and I have no idea where to do so bc I'm too lazy to make a one-shot book :")

anywhore.... here's my one-shot based off of 4 o'clock and spring day! It's unrevised and fresh from my mind's womb! Enjoy!

-- -- -- --

I took a deep breath as the cold clawed its way throughout my body, and released it with the faintest rolling of steam slipping past my lips; the time I was unsure of though the moon was up yet I seemed to be the only soul risen with it.

My fingers numbed with the moonlight breeze, though that letter I wrote so long ago now was still firmly gripped between my fingers, it was for someone - someone I no longer have, I planned to read it to them though missed my chance and I've simply written a long, long letter to the moon. It was merely a corrupted file now for the mood could never equal that whom it was intended for - he shone brighter than the moon; everyone saw that but himself and I vaguely remember him whispering, on one of the last occasions in meeting him, that he was 'nothing more than a small lit candle in a life full of chandeliers' and I felt my face contort in almost anger yet the molten tear that radiated down my cheek, freezing my heart even more, told me all I felt was nothing but sadness toward the boy who'd sold his soul to the moon.

With a gruff weakness I wiped away the tears from my face and stood, allowing my feet to wander; my mind seeming to become confused between itself and the appendages for it began to wonder, tripping up and landing upon a desert - its once beautiful seas draining out through my eyes, washing a mirage of an oasis of happiness upon it whenever someone asks "how are you holding up?" with that condescending rub of the arm and a head tilt with that stupid tone of voice - I hate it!

I was so caught up in my thoughts, the brewing sand-storm halting at the sound of a song. Was it a bird song? That sound? Just simply a nameless bird calling out into the dark? Crying for its baby to fly back into the safe embrace of its delicately crafted fortress of a nest? Or was it you? Was it that voice I'd heard once upon a dream? Could it possibly that voice that brings a red-hot desire to see you once more each step I take this?

I found myself taking another step, one after another - I was running toward that voice, for it was more than just a nameless bird singing; so I followed it into the deep, into the ocean of darkness.

One step, another step. My grip tightening around the paper, the cold numbing being but something I ignored for I longed to see your brightness once again and I found myself stumbling into a park - one from when we were younger, happier... or were you never truly happy?

The sweet melody of your voice took me deeper into the darkness though I still couldn't find you. "Where are you?" My voice cracked and crumbled into the ground beneath my feet. "You?" My heart lurched and fluttered, I was pretty sure for a moment that repetitive thumping of it came to a complete halt upon the sight of you before me, swinging backwards and forwards shaded by the blue of moonlight, humming to yourself a tune of your own and it carried out into the night as if you were a siren calling sailors to their peril.

He's still as ethereal as ever, if not even more so- the way the light cascaded down upon him, he possessed none of his usual traits, however. His tan skin had been bleached into a radiant blue-white and his deep rose lips had been kissed with hues of navy and his once black hair had been stripped into a tincture of chalk white and there was something empty about his once full eyes - he was before me and yet something in him was lost.

"Why are you crying?" he turned to me and asked, though the oceans in his shaded eyes made me wonder too why he was crying - he'd gotten his wish and left. He did this; ran off and followed the stories of children of the moon; like Wendy, Peter and Micheal flying off to Neverland... except for this time he can't fly back. The window had been shut. Locked. Bricked up and he did it to himself.

I shook my head with a frown, running to his now standing figure, embracing him the comforting smell I'd begged my nose to remember hitting me in a strong wave, the welcoming arms and once warm, now cold, cage he'd delicately caught me in causing my heart to burn and shake and my eyes to drain the last of the oceans of my mind and I sobbed into his neck and he into mine.

"Why do you cry?" He repeated through sobs. "You and I are the only ones here - like it used to be - like you wanted! Me and you! So why do you cry?" his muffled cry of pain vibrated against my skin as my breath tried to catch up with me.

"You've been gone too long, Jimin! You left me! I loved you and you left me!" I screamed back, our voices creating a chorus of agony "You left us! I - we needed you and you left!" I tried to collect my shattered self, though the dim moonlight hindered me from putting the house of cards back together.

It remained quiet on his part, words seemingly caught in his throat as I choked out the words I'd been wanting to tell him since the day he left, I shoved the letter into his chest "read it when you miss us" I muttered, seated on another bench, though I hadn't realised we'd moved, I found myself leaning down and resting my head upon his lap, stray tears seeping out of my eyes as his fingers carded through my hair, that tune from earlier arising in his throat, a self-made backing track accompanying his words.

"Tae, I loved you, I did - do, even... Blaming yourself... don't do that. I had my reasons but you were not one of them i -"

"So what were they, Jimin?" I interjected, earning a flick to the forehead.

"Don't interrupt me, I'm older than you remember" we both half chuckled, a bittersweet exchange, however, it was refreshing - hearing his laugh for the first time, in person, after almost two years was beautiful. It was the only sound I could never get tired of and was something I never wanted him to stop doing. "Some things are best left unsaid, I had reasons and only I am to blame for my actions, don't let your heart freeze over, it's far too beautiful for that."

"So was yours and yet... you destroyed it. You did this, Jimin alas other people were also to hold accountable! You can't always blame yourself for the things that go wrong" I sighed, playing with the hand he'd rested upon my stomach "you put so much pressure upon yourself - destroy your mind with a self-made poison and it does nothing but brew trouble! You think I didn't notice how certain comments affected you, you think I didn't understand - that I'd reject you if you told me everything you felt, you thought that by putting on a brave facade that those thoughts, comments, judgments were hidden... well, they weren't! Not from me anyway! I knew it all! I should've helped you!" I gritted out through my teeth, looking up at him and sighing when I saw that lopsided half smiled he'd do and my eyes watered yet again, my mouth opening to speak yet again, though he silenced me with a small kiss - a tiny peck, a gesture that was reassuring yes though it seemed alien it'd been that long; my heart abducted and replaced with butterflies and fireworks just like it had the first time we kissed. He began to stroke my head again, causing me to shut my eyes and bask in the beauty and comfort brought to me under the blue the light of the moon shaded me with.

"I miss you." He started, his voice soft and broken "I didn't want to hurt you but I did, I came to apologise - to ease the pain, I came to erase the hurt and anger, to find closure and let go and yet I can't really let you go yet, Tae" he whispered "do you hate me for it? Would you rather forget my existence for leaving?" I stopped playing with his hand and looked to him.

"Yeah, I hate you; you left me, Jimin." I scoffed "But, the two years you've been gone? I've never stopped thinking about you and I don't plan to." I continued to play with his hand before linking them together "other people drove you into leaving-"

"Tae, it was my decision." He frowned, squeezing my hand "you keep passing blame and -"

"Because, Jimin! It hurts less than to blame you! Every day I want to see you, speak to you, you're my best friend, yet you're not there, you're gone and there's a hole in my entire existence now that you've gone and blaming you only seems to put salt on the wound and not only does it hurts but it makes me bitter toward you" my voice softened, looking to the man so our eyes were locked "and I can't bring myself to hate someone like you, Jimin. You're too... Jimin!"

There was an empty laughter, one that resonated in my heart, he sounded so pained, so broken that I recalled him using the same one just before he died. Looking up to the stars, he let out a breath before running his hands through my hair yet again, that tune from earlier bubbling up through his throat, this time in words, and out into the sky, a lullaby to the moon, a lullaby to me, a warning of the close coming pass of dawn.

You know it all, you're my best friend.

The sun will rise again;

no darkness, no season can last forever.

And, once the moon had fallen to sleep and the sun rose to suffocate my being, I sat up with a strangled, cold cry clawing throughout my body upon this dusty bench in a park somewhere just beside the city, the blue shade that'd been cast over me disappearing "J-Ji-Jimin! Please - don't leave me! Don't leave me again!" I said, trying to grab onto the soft hand stroking my hair.

"I'm sorry." It took one disgustingly warm ray of sunlight to wipe out the silhouette of the moon child before me, one final injection of UV rays to strip me of my Jimin once again.

#bts #vmin #oneshot #bts jimin #bts v