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halcyone-of-the-sea · 7 months

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AHHHH CONGRATS ON 5k!!! Ok ok, hear me out on this request because I think it might make a good little fic. I can’t decide between Hesh or Price for this one but I got a general idea: stoned Hesh or Price. You know those videos of husbands waking up from surgery and not recognizing their wife right away but knowing they’re the most beautiful person in the world (something like this: https://youtu.be/kV8KyeApBJY). Well maybe it’s something like he got hurt from a mission (hurt enough to require drugs/anesthesia for the plot) but is recovering back at base and imagine their wife is their medic and she’s trying to update his team on how he’s recovering and you just got a stoned Hesh or Price completely hopped up on drugs following his injury, just fawning over her and he just goes bananas when she “reveals” they’re married. The team got a kick out of it

—Keep The Sheets Warm, My Love Is Coming Home

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 5k Drabble Masterlist ࿐ྂ

╰┈➤ ❝ [If this wasn't enough to prove that you were the only person for Hesh, you didn't know what did.] ❞

You walked around the room, tidying up what you could if only for the simple fact that it could distract you from the unconscious body in the bed. Realistically as a medic, you knew he would be fine—he was in the best hands possible—but Hesh had a track record for being unpredictable.

He’d gotten into some trouble out in No Man’s Land again. Broken arm and ribs; a bullet through his thigh. He was so pumped full of medication and anesthetics from surgery that you doubted that he would be waking up soon.

But then again, Hesh was always surprising you. It was one of the reasons you’d married him, after all. Never a dull day.

Elias’s voice calls from the doorway.

“You’re going to fall over at this rate,” you blink quickly, turning with an extra blanket in hand to spread around your husband’s comatose state.

Your father-in-law has his arms crossed, and Logan slinks his way through the doorway with an arm looping your shoulders, a head pushed into your scalp silently. You sigh deeply, tension that you hadn’t realized was on your face lessening.

“Only if he keeps me from seeing those greens of his.”

Logan huffs a laugh, squeezing you as his father grunts—the stern man’s eyes softening in a way they only would for you and his boys.

“He’d be more worried about you than himself if you did. Put my mind at ease, okay?” Your eyes roll but you nod with a small smile. You don’t argue with his point in the slightest.

So, that was how you ended up here, in a seat by Hesh’s hospital bed—your hand in his and your head nodding back and forth with fatigue. Elias and Logan are casually playing a game of chess from across the room when David’s eyes flutter; his mouth releasing a low groan.

Your lids snap back, spine straightening, but before you can get a word out, your husband is pulling his hand from yours. His green eyes are loopy, pupils blown wide.

He mutters something under his breath, lips grimacing and face pulling in at the sight of you.

“Hesh?” The two men stand as you check his vitals, heart hammering until there’s nothing out of the ordinary and you can sit back down with a sigh and a relieved smile. “Take it easy, alright? You got out of surgery a little while ago—everyone’s here for you—”

“W…Where’s my wife?” His words slur, jaw loose as he rotates it; the unbroken arm with an IV chord stuck in it raises as jerky digits rub at his eyes. You’re left at a loss, blinking slowly in confusion before sharing looks with your in-laws. “No offense, Miss, you’re pretty and all, but…shit, why’s everything spinning?”

A hand covers your mouth, heated embarrassment lighting inside of your veins.

“Hesh, Sweetheart,” your arm reaches to the brunette, trying to grab his wrist that he weakly moves away.

“Stay away from me,” he grunts, head limply lulling on its pillow. “Thought I told you to keep it to yourself. My Wife’ll rip,” Hesh’s voice fizzles, a loud yawn peeling his bandaged face back, “you to pieces.” A pause. You hear Logan trying to hide his loud laughter behind his lips. “Did…the doctor send you?”

Your body turns to Elias, face beaming and expression exasperated.

“Now that he’s awake will you get the other three? It’ll be easier to give the news to all of you at once.”

“Already commed ‘em,” the man states, watching his eldest with a raised brow and a slow smirk. “Least we know he’s a loose cannon on anesthesia.”

Merrick, Keegan, and Ajax all file in, and as you continue to watch over a loopy Hesh, his small noises and babbling continue even when you give the breakdown of the patient sheet. You stand just shy of brushing the bed’s lower frame. You won’t lie and say it isn’t hilarious.

“He needs to keep out of the field for at least two and a half months, boys, and I’m not joking about that, alright?”

Your husband’s slow voice slashes through your speech, and the rest of the Ghosts snicker, sharing knowing looks as Hesh tries to lift the hand currently wrapped to his chest to keep it still. “You’re a real beautiful lady, Doll, y’know that? I’m sorry you like me so much, but I love my wife, you hear? Please don’t be angry with me.”

“Hesh, Darling,” you walk closer and bend down carefully. He blinked owlishly at you, finger coming up to poke at your cheek. Your hand grabs his as you hear Ajax make a quick remark to Keegan about the man being ‘totally whipped even when he’s high.’

“David, hey,” your voice prompts him to smile, perhaps now only realizing the familiarity of it. “I’m going to tell you something, hm?”

“Okay,” he watches, petting your neck with his thumb.

“I am your wife.” The man’s eyes widen comedically as everyone shares a long laugh with one another.

“No way,” Hesh breathes after a moment, awe-stricken. “Really?”

“Really.” There’s a moment of silence, and then the heart monitor begins to pick up its pace to a fast pound. Your face goes hot with love, and you bend your head forward in a long and honest laugh into his shoulder.

Green eyes shift to the men, and Hesh beams, cheeks red and heart racing as he slurs out, “This is my wife?!”

It was safe to say they were never going to let him forget about this.

#cod #cod x reader #cod x you #call of duty #x female reader #call of duty x you #cod ghosts #cod ghosts x reader #call of duty: ghosts #call of duty ghosts #hesh walker x female reader #hesh walker x reader #david hesh walker #hesh walker #david walker #hesh x reader #david hesh walker x reader

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romanarose · 2 years

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Leather and Lace: Chapter 4

Santiago Garcia X OC

Previous part here : Next part here

Fic masterlist

While on the mission, Pope and the guys find a girl tied up in the basement of a drug lord. Through a few unforeseen circumstances, the girl and Pope get separated from Will, Frankie and Benny and have to find their way back in the woods. She doesn’t talk, is malnourished and traumatized, and Pope has the instinct to protect her at all costs.

(Pretend this is him leaning over a railing while talking to Fish okay)

WARNINGS!!!: for whole fic there’s gonna be violence, mentions of blood, mentions of sex trafficking, ptsd, sexual trauma (past), physical trauma, gunshots, eventual smut!! Don’t read just for the smut tho cuz it’s not smut focused.

Warnings: UUUHH maybe nothing really? Will being a dick? kissing? at worst? Kinda soft, lil angst then soft.

I wrote this,,,, SO TIRED. Not my best work tbh. I think I'm gonna keep updates to once a week until Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside is done bc between this, SSSB, Seattle, the han solo story ive been trying to finish for two years, and the one shots i wanna do AND taking 19 credits and working 4 days a week.... it's a lot. I want my work to remain as good as I know I'm capable of. Thank you for all for patience, and thank you for all your lovely encouragements! Fanfiction writing can be so thankless sometimes, it makes me so emo-tional to see your nice words. In the mean time, come read Sunshine! I've been told it's pretty bingeable if I do say so myself. I see a lot of people like it chapter by chapter and inhale it in a day or two. 27 chapters out of 33!

*****************

“Home sweet home” Santi opened his front door, trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible, despite being exhausted from the flight. He let her in, holding the door as she wandered in, carrying her backpack. Lace had refused to let Santiago Garcia carry it. He was already carrying his bags plus one of Benny’s, and she already felt uncomfortable with her dependance on him. Benny’s friend had picked them up, dropping Santi and Laci off at his place. Frankie and Will had stayed behind for a few extra days to finish what they were supposed to all do in the days after they raided the house. Unfortunately, between Santi’s disappearance from the house and Benny’s gunshot wound, they had gotten side tracked. Will had a fucking fit about Santi leaving, which had turned into some choice words and a Frankie once again having to separate them before it got too far. Frankie, who was less than thrilled about Santiago leaving with Laci, agreed Santiago should go. Ben wanted to stay as well, but his shoulder was still out of commission. Frankie also thought it was a good idea to separate Will and his injured brother to allow Will space to calm down without constantly seeing his brother damaged

Laci took in the space. She wore pants and a long sleeve, covering the array of bruises she was still recovering from. She turned to him with a smile. ‘It’s nice’ The place wasn’t huge, but it was clean, it was safe, and it was his. After he had retrieved the money that was thrown in the canyon, Santi had split it with his 3 other friends. Most of them felt… wrong, having the money, so they all kept the money aside for emergencies, donated a lot, and made a few smart purchases. All of them had bought houses, no mortgage. At the very least, they’d always have a home.

“It’s late, but we can go to the store tomorrow and get you set up with some more clothes, anything else you need.”

She turned to him, nervous and shaking her head. “It’s fine”

“No, Lace it’s okay, let me do this.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll get a job and get out of your hair” She dodged his eyes again. They had made a lot of progress, she was talking more freely, but she never held his eyes for long.

“Lace…” Pope wondered how he could make her see, make her believe that he just wanted to help her. He took her hands, careful not to startle her. “This… this is your home now. You can stay here as long as you need, I mean it. Don’t worry about working until you’re ready. Let’s get you set up with services, counseling, medical… Don’t even think about work yet.”

She leaned into him, holding tight on his hands but looking away. “Expensive.” She muttered.

He sighed. “Listen, it’s a lot to explain but… I came into some money recently. Don’t worry about that. Just…” He took her face in his hand, turning her face to him, and she finally looked at him. “Lace, let me take care of you” He kept her eye contact, watched her eyes searching his face. She was looking for a hint of a lie, of malicious intent. She found nothing but tenderness.

Before Santiago even had a moment to react, her lips were on his. He kissed back the moment their lips met, purely on instinct. When his brain caught up and realized it was her, it was her lips, chapped and hesitant, he kissed back with more fervor, wrapping his arms around his waist and she melted into his arms. Then, he realized what was happening. Santi pulled away, taking a few steps back and away from her, disgusted with himself.

“I’m sorry” He said all too quickly, as soon as he saw her distressed face. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

He expected her to cry or panic, he didn’t expect this response. Her face set into a nervous determination. She pointed at him and shook her head. Then she pointed at herself. ‘You didn’t do it, I did’

“I know,” He clarified. Here he was with a traumatized and vulnerable girl in his home, she probably felt obligated to sleep with him, she thought that's what he wanted… He scrubbed his face, then looked back at her. Laci’s face was red, looking at the floor. She was embarrassed. “Can we just… let's pretend this never happened, okay? Finish showing you around?”

She nodded, not talking. Santi fought the urge to sigh again. Two steps forward, one step back. “C’mon, I’ll show you the yard.” He wanted to just block out the last two minutes from their collective memories. He started walking toward the sliding glass doors, but stopped when he heard her footsteps stop. He turned around and saw her staring at his bookshelf, staring at the 5 porcelain dolls on the top shelf.

She cocked her eyebrow up at him with a teasing smile. ‘Yours?’

He smiled, happy the tension was gone. “My sister’s, actually.”

Laci grinned, still lookin at the pretty, well cared for dolls, but was slightly nervous. She pointed to the house in general “does she live here?”

Santi’s kind smile waved a tad. “She died. It’ll be two years next month. Overdose.”

She turned to him, but he remained focused on the shelves, so she turned back. After a moment, she spoke. “My brother. I was 20. He raised me after our parents died.” Another pause as Laci took a shaky breath. “Suicide.”

Santi took her hand.

******************

A week later, Santi was parking his car on Frankie’s street. “You sure you’re okay? We can still turn around, Fish will understand.”

Laci had thought she was hiding her anxiety well, but somehow, Pope always knew what she was thinking. This was helpful, seeing as she still hardly spoke. It came and went in moments, he was never exactly sure what caused her to start or stop talking. If she was anxious or upset she shut down, but sometimes there didn’t seem to be a cause.

She looked at him with a little smile. ‘It’s fine. You want to go, so we’ll go.’ The two of them had gone everywhere together this week, every appointment and every meeting with a social worker or doctor. He wouldn’t leave her at the house alone, and he knew she would insist on going despite her reservations. She had asked who was coming. Pope knew that was code for ‘is Will coming’. The two of them had yet to interact. With Frankie, at least, he made an attempt to speak to her, dropping by when he got back to the states and asking yes/no questions to Laci so she didn’t feel left out. Will hadn’t been over, nor had be called. But she was fairly comfortable around Ben. Benny had been over a few times, and Laci even let Santi leave the room to go to the bathroom or get snacks, leaving her alone with Ben while they watched tv. Always Sunny in Philadelphia, of all things. It made him smile when he’d return to the room, watching her and Benny laughing out loud together.

They hadn’t addressed the kiss and neither made a move, but the tension was palpable some days. Her first full day there, she had tried to make him dinner while Pope showered. When he heard a bunch of banging, he rushed out, only stopping to wrap a towel around his waist and ran to the kitchen. He found Laci cleaning up a bunch of pans that had fallen on the floor. Looking up, her eyes widened as she stared at his shirtless torso. When her eyes flicked up to him, they stayed like that for a moment, Santi trying to read her face. He was good at it, he usually knew what she was saying or thinking… right then, she was unreadable.

She took his hand as Pope let himself in through the back gate and she took in the scene. It was a small gathering, Frankie had promised that it would just be the guys. Frankie usually held a cook out when everyone comes back from a mission, a way for everyone to decompress. Usually, it was a fucking party. Alcohol, lots of friends, family, and any random stranger Benny had met off the street that day. Today was small. Ever the peacekeeper, Frankie was hoping Will would warm up to Laci. Fish recognized, even if Pope was in denial, that Laci was going to be part of things for a long time. On a phone call with Ben while he was still out of the country, Benny had told him he thought something was going on between the pair, that they were absolutely inseparable. Benny was the one that noticed Santi’s watch was missing on the flight, and relayed the story Pope told him to Frankie.

“Hey guys!” Benjamin Miller swaggered over, hugging Santi and putting his hand on Laci’s shoulder. “C’mon! I’m on grill duty” It was a warm day, and now that Laci got to pick out her clothes, he found she liked to wear a lot of flowers. Her dress today was pink and white floral and a flowy skirt.

“Oh god,” Pope muttered, following the blonde boy.

“Relax, Garcia. Fish is cooking, I’m just in charge of making sure the burgers don’t burn.” Benny, Laci and Santi stood on the deck for a few minutes before Will opened the screen door, and he felt Laci tense.

He was carrying pop, tossing one to Ben and one to Santi, one for himself.

Santi called him out. “C’mon man, don’t be a dick.” He felt Laci’s hand on his arm, and turned to see her face. ‘Let it go’

Will rolled his eyes and cracked open his pop. Benny handed his to Laci “Here, I’m grabbing a beer” He walked into the house, grabbing Will with him and shutting the glass door, no doubt about to chew out Will.

Santiago turned to her “Sorry Lace, he’s being a dick.”

“You don’t have to… defend me or anything. I don’t want you guys to start fighting…” After learning about Santi’s sister’s death, and how most of his family is gone, she started to realize what these men meant to him. She didn’t want to be the one to cause any more problems than she already had.

Will and Benny returned, Will looking irritated but calmer. “Here” He handed Laci a snack pack of cheetos. A small gesture, but a gesture nonetheless.

Laci kept looking at the floor, but touched her hand to her mouth, then moved it out. ‘Thank you’ in sign language. Ben had taught Laci several basic sign language phrases to prepare for the party. All the guys know passable sign language, and this way she could communicate a few things without having to talk or have Santi translate her facial expressions.

When the door opened, Will’s grumpy face lit up. “Here’s the woman of the hour!” And held out his arms to snatch the little girl from Frankies arms. The one year old practically dived into Will’s arms. It was strange for Laci to see Will not glowering. One by one, each of the guys held the tiny toddler, Laci was absolutely enthralled with the sight of Santi holding the adorable girl, blowing raspberries on her stomach.

“Laci?” Frankie spoke up. “Would you like to hold her?”

Laci nodded frantically, and held out nervous arms for Frankie’s daughter. The 18 month old was hesitant to leave her tio’s arms, but once she was in Laci’s around, she put her little hands on Laci’s face. It was an immidiet bond between the two.

“Rosie,” Frankie steps over to the two girls, tickling the toddlers neck. “Meet Laci. Laci, this is Fatima Rosa Maria Morales Ferndanez. Or Rosie, as we usually call her, when she’s not in trouble.”

Benny smiled at his friend and his niece. “Powerful name for a powerful little girl.”

Frankie noticed Laci’s eyes welling up and her lip quivering. “You okay, Laci?”

Santi kicked himself for not picking up on her discomfort, moving to take Rosie out of Laci’s arms, but Laci held on, looking at the little girl adoringly. She turned and whispered to Santiago, who then turned to his friend, smiling. “She said she’s beautiful, Frankie.” Frankie smiled back.

The evening had been delightful. Santi always enjoyed seeing the guys, especially after a particularly stressful mission. Even if Will was being a bit of a dick. It wasn’t bad, Will knew how to tow a line, that was for sure. Just enough where Santi didn’t feel it was worth making a scene, but enough where his irritation was growing. Laci was mostly oblivious, she had Rosie on her hip, even so much as straying away from her ever-attachment at Santi’s side to play with her in the grass. Santi leaned over the deck, beer in hand as he watched her.

“I think Rosie has a friend.” Frankie joined him, looking at his daughter lovingly.

“Yeah.” Santi’s smile was huge. Frankie knew he was down bad.

“How’s she been adjusting?”

“She’s doing alright, considering. Therapy starts next week and she’s been to a few medical appointments, got her on meds, a diet to get back the nutrients she lost. Dentists gotta do some work, shit like that. She’ll have… she’ll have her moments. It’s hard to watch.”

Frankie nods. “What do you mean?”

“Sometimes I’ll find her asleep on the couch watching tv. She had to get on medicine for the nightmares, they seem to help, but she likes the light. She says the TV helps her focus. She watches Friends reruns. She doesn’t even like Friends, It’s just something else to think about, nothing serious, stupid sitcom.” He paused, unsure if he should say it, but if he could be honest with anyone, it was Fish. “She kissed me”

Frankie laughed. “Oh yeah. She kissed you.”

Pope turned to Frankie, finally looking at him “I’m serious!... I mean… I kissed back.”

“There it is.” Fish smirked.

Pope was defensive. “She did! Fish I would never want her to think she has to do anything just because I’m helping her.”

“But you wouldn’t mind if you and her… we’re together?.”

Pope rolled his eyes, “Well, she’s-” pretty he was about to say, turning back to Laci. She was on her back, legs up in the air with Rosie on her feet, playing superman. Laci’s skirt rode up, showing off the smooth curve of her ass. “Oh fuck” Santi and Frankie quickly turned out, but gave each other a side-eyed smile.

An hour later, Frankie was putting Rosie to bed, and Laci was back to Santiago’s side. When Frankie came back, everyone was gathered on the porch. “Hey Santi, I think you forgot something.” He tossed the watch to his friend.

“Fish, what the shit? How did you…?” Santi hugged Fish tighty “Hermano, how did you know I lost it?”

“Benny can’t keep a secret for the life of him.”

Benny meely shrugged, smiling.

Will, however, was confused. “Wait, is that Fatima’s watch?” He looked back and forth between Fish and Pope. “Why does Catfish have it?”

“I um…” Pope hesitated, his grin fading. “When we were in the forest, I sold it to get some food and water…”

“What the fuck Pope?” Will looked irrationally irritated.

Frankie put a hand on Will’s arm, trying to calm him. “Calm down.”

Will shrugged him up. “You sold Fatima’s watch because of her? Jesus Pope, what the hell?”

Pope put himself in front of Laci instinctively. “Back the fuck off, Ironhead. Now.”

Will look at Santi condescendingly. “What is she doing to you man? She almost got you killed, now you’re just being her bitch”

Ben saw it coming before Santi even made a move, smacking Frankie, signaling him to move. Ben grabbed Pope, holding him back as he went to punch Will and luckily, Frankie caught Ben’s message and grabbed Will’s shirt, warning him not to do anything. Laci stepped backwards until her back hit the deck railing, and there she froze.

“What is your fucking problem Will?!” Santi shouted at the much taller man.

“Do you have ANY IDEA how close you came to dying, Pope? It’s a goddamn miracle you didn’t get your head blasted open! You and Ben could’ve died! Then what? Do we spit up the money again and give it to your non-existent family and pretend it’s okay? If Ben died, would you just give me a pat on the back and say ‘Oh, sorry!’ and move on?”

Santi was in too much of a blind fury to possess what Will was saying “None of that has ANYTHING to do with her!” Santi pointed to the scared girl in the corner of the deck, clutching onto the railing for dear life.

“I told you we needed to move, but you never fucking listen! You had to baby her, you had to play knight in shining armor and rescue the pretty girl, meanwhile Benny gets shot and you literally dodge a bullet!”

Benny mumbles something about not bringing him into this, but no one was listening. Benny knew he wasn’t getting anywhere. Santi and Will would hash this out, Frankie would stop them from killing each other. He looked over to see Laci scared as shit. Carefully, he walked over to her. Her eyes were shut tight, but she knew it was Ben, because she knew what Santi’s hand felt like.

“Enough!” Frankie shouted after a few more pointless back and forths. “You guys hear that?” Through the upstairs window, everyone could hear Rosie crying. “You guys woke up and probably scared the shit out of my baby, not to mention Laci.” Santi suddenly noticed she had left his side, and felt a tinge of guilt and jealousy to see her so scared, but also holding the handsome young man’s hand. “Santi, Will, go inside and fucking sort this out like adults.” He noticed Santi glance to Laci again. “She’ll be fine, man. Jesus, Ben will be here. I’m going to put my daughter to bed and I swear to god, if you wake her up again, we’re gonna have a problem.”

Will and Santi stormed off, and Frankie went upstairs to try and put his toddler back to bed. Benny and Laci stood in silence as Laci held his hand tightly. They couldn’t hear what Will and Santi were saying, but it sounded calmer. After a while, Will opened the door, looking embarrassed. “I need to talk to her” he told Ben.

“No way man-”

“Okay.” The Miller brothers turned to Laci, eyes finally open and looking directly at Will for the first time.

Hesitantly, Benny let go of her hand, telling Will not to be an asshole, closing the screen door instead of the glass door. “Can I close the glass door? I don’t want them eavesdropping.” Laci nodded, and Will closed it. Much like Santi, Will scrubbed his face. “How much did Santi tell you about our history together.”

She held up her fingers together. ‘Very little’

“He tell you bout Tom?”

She shook her head.

Will sighed. “Last year, a mission went wrong. I got shot.” Despite how much of an ass he had been, he swore he saw a bit of pity on her face. “But we had another friend, his name was Tom. He got killed after things went very, very wrong and… I think I’ve always held onto a lot of anger and guilt over it. A lot of feelings I don’t know how to let out in a normal way. Seeing my brother get shot, and those few days where I thought Santi had been killed or taken, I think… Well I think maybe it brought a lot of feelings out. I don’t know if Santi told you, but Benn is my brother. My actual brother, I mean. I know we all refer to each other as brothers…” he trailed off, realizing he was rambling. “I thought I was going to watch him die…” He shuffled his feet, trying to figure out what he was trying to say.

Surprisingly, she spoke up, although barely audible ”I didn’t ask for any of this…”

God, that hurt. Of fucking course she didn’t. This poor girl had gone through hell, and here he was making her feel worse. “I know. And I’m really sorry. I’m not good at this kind of thing…” Despite his best efforts, his voice was just a little choked up. It was a high emotion week. “I don’t really have a good excuse, but I am sorry. I know you’re going to be around a while, maybe forever-” he cut himself off. He didn’t exactly know what Santi and her relationship was., and wasn’t sure if they knew either.“I don’t want to make an enemy out of you, and I don’t want to be the person who makes you feel worse.”

Laci thought for a second, then smiled a soft, nervous smile. She tentatively walked towards him. “It’s okay.”

He shook his head. “It’s not-”

She held up a hand. He didn’t need Santi to translate that. “I get… I get really angry sometimes. Sometimes I get angry at Santi and he did nothing wrong. He doesn’t know. I push it down. But sometimes I worry I won’t be able to stop it. It’s okay.”

Will nodded. He felt like they had an understanding, at least.

She walked past him, going to find Santi. When Laci found him, he surprised her with a hug. “Are you okay, Lace?” He asked, rubbing her back.

“Yeah, I’m great. Take me home please?” She nestled her head into his chest, taking in his smell.

On the drive home, Laci asked about the watch.

“My sister gave it to me a few months before she died.” He took it off, handing it to her. “The inscription translates to ‘count all the stars and add one more’ it’s about how much the singer loves someone. It’s a song by Jesse and Joy and it features Luis Fonsi” Santi turned to her, smiling sadly “I couldn’t stand Luis Fonsi, but my sister loved him.” He turned back to the road. “Her name was Fatima. Frankie named his daughter after her. He and I grew up together. Anyway, she gave me this watch as a half joke since I hated the song. Now it’s one of my favorites. I think she knew she was dying.”

Laci put her hand on his shoulder. Usually, their touches were for Laci’s sake. This was for Santi’s. “That’s really sweet, Santi. And I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, Muñecita. For Will.”

“I think Will and I are going to get along fine.” She turned to him. “I like your friends a lot.”

Santi smiled. “Yeah, I do too.

***************

THANK YOU FOR READING! Reblogs help a lot, comments mean the world! lmk if you'd like to be added to my tag list!

Since google doesn’t really translate it, Muñecita means little doll. Muñeca is doll, and adding -ita makes a name or object diminutive.

@littlenosoul @bensolosbluesaber @milkymoon2483 @gogh-with-the-flow @itspdameronthings

#leather and lace fic #triple frontier fic #triple frontier fanfic #triple frontier #santiago garcia #santiago garcia x reader #santi garcia fanction #benny miller #will miller #frankie catfish morales #frankie morales #fluff #angst #hurt #comfort #santi garcia #santiago pope garcia #santiago garcia hurt comfort #oscar isaac fanfiction

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bloodyknucklesforme · 6 months

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Don't Blame Me 2.0 | Sneak Peak

So here's just a little sneak peak of my re write of Don't Blame Me. I've been wanting to revisit this for a while. I will post the rest of it in one go probably on Ao3 for ease but here's just a little peak of some of the extended stuff I'm doing. This is probably chapter 1 or 2. I haven't decided the order yet. It is 100% new material and I hope it gives a good example of what the rest of the re write is gonna be. Hope you enjoy 💕

Word Count: 2k

Nina stared up at the ceiling. It was ugly. Grayish plaster smeared across to form a minuscule mountain range. She was angry at them with their manmade topography. She wanted to climb up and scrape them smooth. She wanted to destroy something without consequence.

The bed in the safe house was too hard and the covers were too thin. Made it impossible to sleep and yet she’d spent the past three days laying in it. She missed the warm comfort of her old bed, layers of wool blankets and a fluffy down mattress. She missed the feathers that poked her in the middle of the night.

Kyle, sat guard by the door - rifle in hand. The curtains always drawn close. She’d long lost track of time, only gauging when offered food. Shopping bags laid scattered across the floor. Price had bought clothes, guessing her size and getting it wrong most of the time. She’d finally asked for something warm and big.

He’d come back with a large navy sweatshirt and grey sweatpants. They were nice and soft and the sweatshirt was large enough she could tuck her knees inside of it and pull her hands into the sleeves. A small comfort.

She didn’t like it here but she wasn’t given a choice. Hunted like an animal across countries and continents. All because of her father. Some people may be attached together with red string but he was the rope around her neck.

The house somehow felt more sterile than the hospital they had her at initially. She didn’t like it there either with doctors and nurses constantly prodding her. Taking blood for various tests, physical exams where she was expected to strip for strangers. Their hands were always cold.

A week ago she hadn’t even seen another person in years and now she didn’t think any part of her had gone untouched. She’d fought and screamed every time they pulled another needle out. They’d had to sedate her after she kicked a nurse in the shoulder and almost knocked her over. Price stepped in at that point and refused to let them do any more tests or exams until she’d relaxed. She never got the chance.

She woke up to a man forcing his way into the room. Kyle dragged her out of bed and into a corner, ripping an IV out of her arm. Price had met the man at the threshold. The intruder got one good hit in before Price slammed his head into the door.

Her stomach flipped, hearing his skull crack. Death wasn’t an unfamiliar face but she ached having seen him so often recently. How many just in the past week? She’d lost count. Blood dripped down the door, like a bug that got squished.

Kyle was holding her arm, bandaging where the IV got ripped out.

“We’re moving her.” Price said. “Now!”

Kyle scooped her up easily, carrying her bridal style, down the halls and stairs of the hospital.

“Kate, I need a safe house.” Price barked into a radio. Nina clung to Kyle, letting herself get carried away once again. It had been futile to fight previously so she allowed it now. She also didn’t want to complain about not walking across the parking deck barefoot.

Price drove while Kyle sat in the back, having her lay down on the seats next to him. She stayed quiet, she was good at that. Quiet and surviving. They drove what felt like hours around London in order to lose any possible tails. Eventually Price pulled into an underground parking deck and they switched cars.

The Russian was driving this time, she believed his name was Nik. A large white utility van. She sat with her back against the side. Her feet were cold. Kyle and Price flanked her. She felt like she should be wearing a black bag over her head.

It was dark when they got to the safe house. A coat was thrown over her head and she was kept bent over as they led her inside. Lights off until the blinds could be pulled shut.

“You should be safe here. Kyle will keep watch over ya,” Price assured, holding her shoulders. She was older than he was when they last saw each other. A stranger but the only person on Earth who seemed to remember her name. A friend of her father’s, his sergeant. He’d stop by their on base house often enough to be a familiar face. He got her a birthday gift once or twice. He’d had dinner with her family. She felt ashamed to say she hadn’t thought about him in years yet there he was at the edge of the world to hold her on the helicopter ride home. “How are you feeling Nina?”

“I’m okay.” What else was there to say? It felt like the ground was constantly collapsing under her and she was treading ice water. “I’m tired.”

“Let’s get the bedroom set up for you.” He rubbed her back as he led her upstairs. She waited in the hall as he checked over the room and pulled the blinds shut. She was glad they left her alone to sleep, even if one of them was always outside the cracked open door. She’d barely left the bed since. Kyle had moved a chair in at one point.

“Just keeping you company.” He smiled. She imagined the true reason was so he could stop her if she tried to kill herself. There was a reason she had to ask for any pain medication, there were no knives in the kitchen and the sweatpants came without strings. Truthfully she didn’t have the motivation for all that.

She thought about taking another shower or maybe a bath. Hot water on demand was another comfort. Something she’d missed.

She got up wordlessly and walked into the ensuite bathroom. Bottles, jars and tubes also scattered across the counter. Kyle had explained what it all did. Moisturiser, cleanser, masks and other words she didn’t remember. She slathered it all on anyway. It did make her skin feel less tight. If it made a physical difference, she wouldn’t know. The mirror was gone.

Kyle had taken it off the wall the day before. She’d needed his help turning on the water. Her reflection frightened her. She knew she was older, a woman of twenty five. She still expected to see a little girl staring back at her. In a way there was, how small she looked. How starved she looked. She didn’t like her skin or hair or her face at all really. Price had remarked how much she looked like her mother. She couldn’t even hold her face in her mind. She knew that she never looked sick like this. As tattered and forgotten.

She’d hung a towel over the edges of the mirror. Kyle took it down and she put it back up. He seemed to understand and it was laid in the hallway facing the wall the next morning.

She filled the tub with steaming water and squirted some soap into it. She wasn’t allowed to lock the door so she left it cracked to let the steam out. She sunk down till her nose barely scraped the water’s edge. She soaked until the bubbles all popped and disappeared and her skin was pruned.

There was a knock on the door.

“The captain is going to be back soon with food,” Kyle broke the hours-long silence. He was extraordinarily kind to her despite having not said more than a couple words to him over the past days. “He asked if there’s anything else you want or need.”

“I’m okay,” she said. She didn’t know what she needed or wanted. Everything seemed like a distant dream, half real. She thought about the things she ate as a child and wondered what was real and what was some elaborate coping daydream. It all just seemed out of her grasp.

“…Nina?” He asked. It still felt weird to hear people say her name aloud. It was something she had kept like a secret for so long. “Do you like cake?”

She could hear the smile in his voice. She didn’t remember the last time she had cake. Her 11th birthday maybe.

“I can have Price pick some up for you. I’d say you deserve it.”

“I’d like that…thank you, Kyle.”

“I’ll text him.”

Price arrived a little less than an hour later. She was back in bed, wearing the same sweatshirt and pants. Kyle had shown her how to work the telly. There was nothing familiar on.

Price had given up on getting her to eat anywhere but her bed, bringing up the food with a tray.

“Thank you,” She said as he laid a plate of lamb, rice and veggies in front of her. The three of them ate in silence as she periodically flipped through the channels on the telly.

“What day is it?” she asked as another holiday ad came on.

“December sixteenth,” Kyle answered around a bite of lamb.

She didn’t realise Christmas was so close. She changed the channel again, wanting to avoid any possibility of raising hope.

“Gaz, take the dishes downstairs. I need to talk to Nina.” Price said as they finished eating. She thanked Kyle as he took her plate and pulled her knees to her chest.

Price had a serious look on his face, more serious than usual.

“We have to move you again.” He said. She nodded, chewing on the idea of having to leave again.

“Why?”

“My contact in M16 believes there’s a leak and you’re at risk again. They shouldn’t have known what hospital you were in.” He sat down on the edge of the bed. “These men are dangerous, Nina. They believe you know where your father is.”

“I don’t.”

“I know you don’t, love. We’re working on tracking them down but until we do you need to be kept safe. You’re going to the United States tomorrow afternoon.”

“The United States? Why all the way there?”

“It’ll be easier to hide you. You’ll be under cover, new name, travelling with one of my mine.”

“Kyle?”

“No, unfortunately I need him here.”

“Then who?” She wasn’t sure if she trusted anyone else. She wasn’t even sure if she could trust Price.

“His name is John.”

“Your name is John.”

“Different John.” He chuckled. “MacTavish. A scot. He’ll look after you.” He patted her shoulder. “Get some rest. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”

“Price?”

“Yes, love?”

“Will I ever be safe?”

He laid his hands on her shoulders and got eye level with her.

“I will make you safe.” He said firmly, like he believed it to be true. “Try to get some sleep. Lots to brief on tomorrow.”

The idea of having to move again twisted her stomach. More helicopters? More high speed chases down mountain roads? More bullets whizzing by? Her hands were shaking already. She pulled her arms into her sweatshirt and scratched at them. Every red line was a release of tension in her body. Another strange man who’s side she would be tucked into. She knew Price wouldn’t put her with someone who would hurt her, at least not knowingly.

There was a knock on the door.

“Nina? Can I come in?” Kyle asked.

“Uh…yeah…you can.” She pushed her arms back through her sleeves. He was smiling as he came in. A pastry box and fork in hand.

“Price says you need protein but cake has eggs so I think it counts.” He handed her the box. She laid it in her lap and opened it. It was a small chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and cadbury flakes on top. Her mouth watered. She wanted to feel the sugar grit against her teeth.

“Thank you, Kyle.” She said, holding the box close. There was a time when she was younger and she used to close her eyes and imagine a great big party with cake and balloons and streamers and friends and her family. She held onto that fantasy for a long time. She hoped the cake tasted as good as it did in her head.

“Eat it all if you want but don’t get sick, yeah?” He handed her the fork before going to leave. “Soap’s a decent bloke. He’ll take care of you.”

What a stupid nickname, she thought as she stabbed her fork into the centre of the cake and dug out a chunk.

It was better than she imagined.

I would also like to shout out some of the people who've supported this story over the past year. There are more than I could ever list (I'm adding as I remember usernames) but thank you all so much

@macravishedbymactavish @queen-ilmaree @argella1300 @purplemarmar @devcica @avidreadee123 @water-bearz @glitterypirateduck @murdersheghostwrote @sea--biscuit @coolmaybelateruniverse @pssytrux @mykneeshurt @yearningforsappho @celestiialspheres @fleetwoodmoth

I appreciate more than y'all could ever know 💕

#soap x Nina #Don't Blame Me 2.0 #Don't Blame Me

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princeyarthur · 1 year

Text

Traitor's Lament of Innocence

did you ever think of me the way you thought about yourself?

It's here, it's real: the most self indulgent, niche playlist ever conceived - a Castlevania: Lament of Innocence playlist, using ONLY songs by the hit Blaseball inspired band, The Garages. Except instead of being all of Lament of Innocence it ended up being just about Leon and Mathias, but you know how it is.

I. Talking to the Parasite || II. outfield || III. And I Mean, All Gods || IV. Lang Gang || V. Precognition/Magmatic || VI. traitor's lament || VII. Estimation || VIII. Blessings (Shove 'Em) || IX. Eclipse || X. CONSUMERIST - live @ UNDERGROUND || XI. Pathetic/Spineless || XII. Get Normal (Neon Ver.) || XIII. dickerson's remorse || XIV. Ashes || XV. Ruby Tuesday || XVI. feedbacked feelings || XVII. past mistakes || XVIII. we've got history

some general thoughts and choice lyrics that made me add these songs to the playlist under cut:

Originally this playlist was genuinely going to cover all of Lament of Innocence!! unfortunately I was not good at bridging the gap between Mathias deciding "fuck god" and Leon finding out that Mathias went "fuck god". in the end I decided that that was what I was most invested in anyways, and there were enough good Garages songs to fit that alone, so... rip to the Leon/Sara In the Feedback, which was the only in-between song I really had.

I wanted to lean into the blaseball theming here, so I decided I was going to assign them teams and everything. I actually did not assign based on team colors!! Just team vibes. I simply lucked out. Hades Tigers Mathias was such an obvious choice that I kept doubting myself on to the point that his uniform was one of the very last things finished... I think him going on the team whose fanlore notes them as anti-necromancy is great irony. Yeah Mathias YOU might not ever try to raise your wife from the dead. But Watch Out.

I thought Leon would be much harder to assign, or that no team would really fit, but then it was noted that the Lovers have a whole Knight/Arthurian theme going on, due in part to their founder. And that sealed the deal.

Anyways. Choice lyrics. Whose pov it is. And some track commentary where I think it needs it.

I. Talking to the Parasite | Mathias I know what it is I have to do/A truth I think I always knew/A sacrifice must be made before we're through/And I'll do whatever it takes just to see You

(while I don't think Mathias is personally inclined to necromancy, the vibes on this song? impeccable)

II. outfield | Mathias Like They Burned you/Like They stole you/like They Took You away/hate the damn gods/They’re abusing their power/Nearly every single hour/They took you too soon

III. And I Mean, All Gods | Mathias and i'm going to engage in rational discourse/but god will not listen to my rational discourse/so now i'm punching god, and i'm punching him with force/cause he will not listen to my rational discourse/no gods/yeah, we're killing all gods/and don't tell me the odds/cause we're killing all gods

(this one is a little silly and by this point you probably Get It. however I think it's worth it for this bit alone)

IV. Lang Gang | About Mathias and then the Blood Drain gurgled (yeah)/and he took his little sippy (yeah)/but it tastes so dirty (yeah)/yeah the Blood Drain killed his vibe

(This one was perhaps the silliest one to include, and the abrupt tone shift between this and the next songs is jaw dropping. However. how could I not include Mathias' little sippy? yeah, becoming a vampire really did kill his vibe.)

V. Precognition/Magmatic | Leon "Please tell me how I can trust again/with no one left?/Please tell me how I can bat again/how can I not break?"

VI. traitor's lament | Mathias i've made a grave mistake, i knew that from the onset/but petty traitors like me have no room for any regret/with me and you there, singing what will be our last duet

VII. Estimation | Leon You thought you did the math/Balanced things with care/You’d filled the sky with all your debts/But everything was square

VIII. Blessings (Shove 'Em) | Leon i don't want your blessings/i want you to shove them, shove them, yeah/it's a pathetic gesture/a spineless kind of nod/you're just a wooden idol/a counterfeited god

(The Pathetic/Spineless reference? [chef's kiss]. also calling Mathias a counterfeited god would probably sting given his obvious complexes)

IX. Eclipse | Leon Why so quiet now?/Go ahead, we’re waiting/Have you forgotten how?/Or is your courage fading?/I paint my stripes on/I name each scar/'Cause now I see you for the coward that you are/Go on and take a swing/I’ll be right here, ready/You’ve taken everything/So why not take just one more swing

(the one problem with Hades Tigers!Mathias is that this Hades Tigers song is very much a Leon one. Sorry for any confusion.)

X. CONSUMERIST - live @ UNDERGROUND | Leon So take a pound of flesh/If you think it would help/I can promise you this:/nothing else will/Yeah, you sharpen your teeth/Come on and take a bite/I can promise you this:/I will survive.

XI. Pathetic/Spineless | Leon when i look you in the eyes/i will start to realise/you're pathetic, in the worst ways/you're spineless, like on most days/when i look you in the eyes/i will start to realise/you're not going anywhere, going anywhere/when you go to fight gods/but none of them live up to it/and all of them give up, does that/make you feel better?/when you go to fight gods/but none of them meet your eyeline/does that make you feel fine,/or are you disappointed?

XII. Get Normal (Neon Ver.) | Leon can we get back to normal?/can we get normal after this?/it feels like my world is crumbling/it feels like the world is crumbling down

XIII. dickerson's remorse | Leon The time has come to bury my love, future, present and past/This time I’ve got nothing left, this time I’ve loved my last

XIV. Ashes | Leon I thought it would be us forever/Together against the world/But here I am standing alone/As the sun sets on the dream we shared/Memories is all I have left/And all our regrets, all we left unsaid/Now Ashes is all that remains

XV. Ruby Tuesday | Leon Are you listening?/Is this to a broken address?/I’ve been wondering/Did you ever think of me/Like you thought about yourself/I never asked, and you never asked/And now I’m living/With no benefit of the doubt/I wonder if this’ll ever let me go/When will it let me go?

(this song is the reason this playlist exists.)

XVI. feedbacked feelings | Leon I like you but you don't like me/I try to move on eventually/Then you like me when I don't like you/Tell me what are we to do

(this song nearly got cut, as it's the only one (other than we've got history, which fits too well to cut) with... pretty much explicitly romantic connotations. but I wanted a nice even number and didn't really have anything else I wanted to cut, so it stayed. I also love the ending of this song in a post LOI context; I love it when Leon has complicated feelings about Mathias after everything and still like... likes him. feels fondly about him, despite everything and despite being very hurt. This is a lot of analysis for a silly little song .)

XVII. past mistakes | Mathias I'm a profit I'm non-profit and I always end up down/I made others riches way back when/I'm a coward I'm a bastard I'm a murderer/I'd give anything to do it all again

XVIII. we've got history | Leon & Mathias It’s funny the stories we tell ourselves/between the numbers./We’re always running around/running after each other.

No matter the words we tell ourselves/We’re just repeating an endless cycle./Trading my heart for a force field./Never asking how I feel.

#leon belmont #mathias cronqvist #lament of innocence #castlevania #the garages #playlist

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charbway · 2 years

Text

how most of my tf2 gameplay posts start out: heavy is more than just shooting a gun and here's why *entire essay about the importance of good gamesense, positioning, and patience*

ive said you need to jumpscare people before and that is true, but in order to do that you need to be able to predict where people are and when/how they're going to fight you if they decide to engage.

example: if you're fighting a soldier & you both lose a good chunk of health, the soldier will usually try to retreat. so it'd be relatively safe to unrev and find a healthpack/eat your sandvich before he or anyone else tries to fight you again. (if he doesn't retreat i'd say just hold your ground and try to move as unpredictably as possible, projectiles are easier to dodge than hitscan even as heavy. you could also try to reposition in order to dodge better but it'd probably be risky to unrev like i said earlier)

scouts almost always retreat, but tend to show up again sooner to try and take their opponents by surprise. i've learned that staying revved for a bit after a scout leaves a fight is usually a lot safer than unrevving and trying to heal, since i can kill them when they come back as long as my tracking is on point. i've literally been in fights w/ scouts where i've been left with like 3hp and the thing that saved me was staying revved, repositioning to somewhere they wouldn't expect me to be (usually around a corner/against a wall/away from any health packs bc they would expect me to try and get health back,) and then killing them when they come back bc they expect me to be unrevved or eating a sandvich. then i unrev & heal once i know it's safe lol

now i am thinking abt the time that one of my friends (who mains scout) tried playing heavy for a bit & they died a lot & hated it bc their scout brain was telling them to initiate fights when that's not what heavy is designed for. if you try to do that as heavy you will get punished bc people can see you coming and you have no real way to outmaneuver a bunch of people who get the jump on you first. scout can just run away from bad situations, heavy can't really do this because his size/lack of movement speed makes him really easy to focus down and kill. (plus if you're trying to get away from something you have to unrev your gun, which makes you even more vulnerable)

ik heavy has 300 health and that's supposed to cover for his lack of mobility, but it rly doesn't again bc of how easy he is to hit. this isn't a complaint tho, i think it's a good thing actually since it makes him more challenging, but a lot of people will use that to say heavy is op or that he's supposed to be a damage sponge. 3 direct pipe bombs can kill a heavy at full health, which wouldn't be hard for a decent demo to land on a heavy, even if he's unrevved. there is so much Big Damage in tf2 that the idea of him being a damage sponge is like 🤨 to me. i think heavy functions his best when he's acting as a sort of bodyguard for his team, while the generalists (soldier/demo/scout/medic) lead pushes. my opinion might change once i start playing competitive tho so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. it's 5 am and i don't know how to end posts

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #heavy

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wooahaes · 1 year

Note

If you're still in need of some EXO recommendations, I got you! Enjoy the following ask that definitely isn't way too long didn't take me way too much time to put togetherbecause I couldn't decide on just a few songs

(before getting to the list tho, I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your writing and it's helped me through some hard last weeks, so thank you for that 🥰)

So, first of all, fitting to this season, I can really recommend the whole universe album (I especially enjoy Fall), Sing for you and miracles in december, 10/10, always great

Then, we've got the classics - Baby don't cry, Mama (their debut, still hitting strong), Overdose

The title tracks obviously as well, but I especially really really love Tempo, the acapella part in the bridge is just out of this world good; also Lucky One is a really really good one (that I feel often gets overshadowed by Monster)

Now I could list a lot of side tracks, but I'm gonna try to keep it to two per Album ^^' and go through them chronologically

Playboy and Hurt, Promise/Exo 2014, Artificial Love and They never know, Can't bring me down, Boomerang, The eve (obviously, you definitely have to watch the dance practice too), walk on memories and touch it, ooh lalala and smile on my face, Jekyll and Groove, Paradise

Now coming to the solos and subunits, I'll just go for one each, because this is already way too long 😶

Baekhyun - UN Village

Kai - Nothing On Me

D.O. - Rose

Chen - Beautiful Goodbye

Suho - Starry Night

Xiumin - Brand New

EXO-CBX (Chen, Baekhyun and Xiumin) - Hey Mama

EXO-SC (Sehun and Chanyeol) - What a Life

And last but not least: Lay - Lit this song is just so so so good, it's honestly one of my all time favourites

hii nonny! ive been meaning to get around to listening to all of these but im just gonna answer this one ask (since other ppl have suggested the same songs) and listen through rn!!

also tysm!! i'm glad i was able to help you through hard times. i hope things are better for you now <3 december has been weird for a lot of us i think, but we're getting through it. 2023 is just around the corner!!

i'm gonna go into this mentioning that the only EXO songs i know are love love love, tempo, baby don't stop, ko ko bop, and el dorado. there's probably more i've heard snippits of, but those are the ones i'm most familiar with >:3 (love love love was one of the first songs i listened to (outside of shinee) back in like. 2014-2015ish when i was originally into kpop tbh!!)

i'll come back to sing for you + miracles in december since universe has been a lot slower/calm winter vibes which is great but im admittedly in a weird spot rn ksdhfsdf but i do enjoy universe!! the winter vibes are great, just not what i need in this moment <3 (i'll def try to return to these later and give them a proper listen-through)

baby don't cry is like... oddly cozy in a way i can't describe? but ugh their voices layer so nicely here. also wait wtf this was 2013... how...

OH IVE HEARD MAMA. lets see how many of these songs i already know. it absolutely hits strong how the fuck is their debut??? some groups rly do just have debut songs that will always slap. also hehe they look like babies on the album cover. their vocals literally are so strong tho what da hell... how old were they at debut...

oh they were all upwards of 17. yeah that'd probably make sense.

know im also looking at songs on color coded and what the HELL kai's voice..... wack.

this answer is gonna be really long as u can tell.

OH ive also heard overdose. same album as love love love apparently :0 wack. overdose also slaps. i feel like im just gonna go through every song like "yeah this slaps" but tbh everything so far has slapped

im listening to tempo and im like wow. more guys <3 also the squeaking is the only cursed part of this song. i read a reddit thread once that mentions there was Someone who kept using the sound in songs??? the cursed SM era. song still slaps tho <3

i have reached lucky one. this one i haven't heard before! :D oh wait i lied. i was abt to be like 'idk where i heard it' BUT I'VE HEARD THE CHINESE VERSION.... probably in the rhythm smtown. im blanking on the name. but i do recognize the chorus lmao i was like hm why does this seem a lil off and its bc i've heard it in chinese lmao

good song tho!! its fun <3

OOO PLAYBOY IS ANOTHER I KNOW and love a lot. i mentioned once that i love the exo version but i always wished there was an official recording by jjong since both have different energies. i could go into it but i think jjong's live version he did once felt more... smooth? while the exo version feels a lot more playful and teasing. both are so good in different ways. it works so well with their voices imo but god i can only think of jonghyun when i hear it. it feels like such a Him song to write. i'll stop talking abt him but know that i do love the way EXO did the song.

hurt i don't think i know? we'll know when we hit the chorus. ok i dont know this. but :0 i have no idea how to talk about music despite taking classes for that lmao but!! the drawn out 'hurt' in 'you hurt me' just... flows so nicely?

can i say i rly do love baekhyun's vocals. like idk i think i usually notice his voice above the others at times. im saying this while listening to promise/exo 2014. also forgive me if its the wrong word but chanyeol has like... a slight rasp to his voice? its SO nice to listen to tbh idk if thats the right word but its like. texture. it scratches a brain itch.

ooo artificial love i also know primarily from the chinese version. it also slaps idk what else to say here sdfkhsdf it Does

they never know is another im unfamiliar with. i am repeating myself when i say i think everything slaps but there's something like... SO soothing abt this one while i can kinda bop to it as well? exo can do it all-

ok im gonna start making comments when i actually have them. if i don't say i dislike something, then assume its gonna be the usual 'this fucking slaps yo???'

OH YOO??? the like... contrast between "무너져 가는 Wall / 니 별은 이미 Fall" like. w wall and fall being much deeper? it is delicious. i am consuming this. its also in the different "down"s at the end of lines. tht contrast though UGH <3333 its so good

im gonna take a sec to mention that i really like the different exo album covers and like. the different way their logo is made. i just think its neat :)

im watching the dance practice for the eve. why are men hot. anon why would u do this to me. NOOO WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!!! I UNDERSTAND WHY U SAID I HAVE TO WATCH IT is this allowed. in my good christian minecraft server. i need to stress my 'why are men hot' was said within the first like 10 seconds.

ok i finally did something smart and just queued up everything else so i dont have to manually search.

walk on memories + touch it are both good! i don't have any real comments haha

have i mentioned i rly love how their voices mesh when singing together... bc i do...

jekyll slaps. i feel the need to mention it specifically. also groove is such a like. 180 from how intense jekyll was. 11/10 i love that.

ooo i rly like paradise :0 idk what abt it gets me but it scratches a certain itch and im into it

ok im gonna do the solo ones faster. baekhyun good and i already know this (i've heard some of his solo stuff and also his voice is just... so cozy. let him out of the military rn.

i put these out of order by accident so kai's song is after xiumin's--anyway YOOO I KNOW D.O'S SONG its on my lovey playlist hehe (the english version is i mean). solid song, makes me smiley <3

beautiful goodbye: makes me want to cry. good song <3

starry night: ooo... cozy. kinda sad. very pretty tho.

brand new: absolutely not what i expected ngl but im already into it. his voice reminds me of someone and i don't know who?? im boppin tho

nothing on me: kai is also someone who's solo work i've heard before--in terms of like... the big ones (mmm + peaches) and vanilla. his voice is so nice. idk how else to describe it, im running low on brain juice and im gonna make food after i finish out the last few songs

hey mama!: ooo this is fun <3 truthfully at this point i think if u tell me baekhyun is in anything, i'd probably listen.

what a life: ngl i wasn't sure if i'd be into it but the chorus slaps and i def enjoy it more after hearing the first chorus. random comment but i have to wonder if vernon has listened to this before. something about the way it flows, esp at the chorus, make me think of him and the way he makes music

lit: oh. oh. this gave me chills (in a v good way)

i'd give final thoughts but i think the general "exo fucking slaps" is all i can manage rn

ty for the long ask (even tho im getting to it a lil late) i hope u are having a good day <3

#wooahaes.ask #asks.anon

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ecl1pse · 2 years

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omg speaking of gworls i forgot to share my thoughts on the album here bc i was so excited the whole weekend

anyways! i REALLY liked it. overall, the whole album isn’t as cohesive as savage ngl, but it’s still good. savage was such a tight, top tier album that it would be very hard to top. even in the whole of kpop, savage has to one of the most cohesive album to come, even in all my 10+ years of listening to kpop i don’t think ive come across an album that is so sonically cohesive as savage was so i understand why some mys are a bit let down in that regard. that being said, girls is still very fun!!! & i’m always here for a fun kpop album

however!! the song girls itself has to be aespa’s darkest sound. & yeah, i agree that it sounds like an nct song, but i mean it as compliment!!! because i actually think that despite so many trying to replicate nct’s sound, no one has come this close to actually doing it while still maintaining their own touch. winter & ningning adding those cute & fun adlibs makes it such an aespa song & nice contrast to the loud trumpets in the chorus i love it!! imo girls sounds to me like nice blend between turn back time by wayv & punch by nct 127, while the mv seems heavily informed by kick it (i see a bit of punch in some transitions shots too). but again, it’s still very aespa, especially in the fact that has a clearer storyline. back to the song, the production seems very influenced by turn back time & overall wayv’s use of guitars to build up momento with the added horns from punch to add grandioseness &, well, punch. it makes them sound like characters in a big fight about defeat their big baddie. which apparently they do because i’ve read this is the end of the black mamba storyline. the girls add so much sass to the song— to pretty much any song they touch. sm struck gold when they decided to put all four of them together, they cover every ground just by the four of them, it’s so gorgeous to hear them.

illusion is just. such a fucking good song. the choreo adds so much to the song too. from the strong opening w the alarms blaring in your ear & the slurping, winter’s opening line of “you’re so yummy, yummy, yummy in my tummy, tummy, tummy” 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 that…was crazy. insane. there’s no taking out the sexual connotations out of this whole song no matter how much they tried to make it fit into the aespa storyline. it’s so fun & sexy i love it. i loved that the choreo follows pretty closely to the formula the song follows in that it a slow build up that explodes by the second middle of the second verse than it takes its second wind. i think this might be one of their best b-sides & choreographies. it’s almost as good as i’ll make you cry, which i’m still hoping & begging to see performed live with a cool choreo 😭 i honestly think this album could have been a double feature with illusion being the second title track. this should have been the song to get an english version &/or an mv. sm, hear me out, we can still make this work. hear me out!!!! just make an illusion mv instead of leaving my girls jobless once the promotion period is over, you could even get a second boost in sells w this genius idea!!! (hmu for more input 😘).

lingo is so fun!!! i havent gotten into reading the translations yet but i can almost tell this is aespa saying you can make fun of all the made up words & stories their concept requires you to understand but that doesn’t make them any less cool. i see the country influences everyone has pointed out, it’s probably how the song started, but i insist!! this is not a country song!! this is nortec!!! look it up, look up nortec. i know this, this genre was literally birthed in my home city & the streets grew up in. idk who lixa, the producer, is, but they (accidentally??) made a nortec song. lingo is for las norteñas 🤠

life’s too short is cute but i agree it’s not their strongest song. that much i knew when they previewed at coachella. it’s very much elevated by their gorgeous voices & smart layering. the mv was so cute tho!! very dreamy & cute. i think it’s befitting they sing a song like this considering the amount of hate they have received since debut, much of unwarranted. i just hope the girls themselves actually believe as much because they do deserve to enjoy their hard work. they have achieved so much in such a short career & are such strong performers, enough to rival bigger groups. it’s no wonder they keep going viral, they work hard & are good at demonstrating it on stage.

icu…it’s a song. a song sung by aespa. this has to be their most forgettable song imo, i’m sorry. it’s pretty but…it’s just there. it’s the required sm ballad & they delivered. i don’t have much else to say other than they sound pretty.

i know a lot of fans disliked that this album included their previous singles but i’m actually really glad it did! i’m glad i can now have a physical copy of black mamba & dreams come true to play in my car that i dont drive. but if i ever did, i have it & i can cause a car crash while swinging my head to black mamba. plus, no offense to any icu fans out there, but ending the album in that when we had such a strong start with girls & illusion would have been such a snooze. ending it with dreams come true!!!!! feels more befitting ngl.

anyways, that’s all i have to say for now. but i’m sure i will continue to talk about this album because aespa has been one of the most exciting kpop acts to follow right now & i’m always excited to talk about their music to anyone who is willing to listen!!!

#aespa

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tisthenightofthewitch · 2 years

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"That darkness inside us needs to find its way out": Tobias Forge's track-by-track guide to the new Ghost album, Impera

Ghost's Papa Emeritus IV is the cover star of the new issue of Metal Hammer, and, inside the issue, the band's creative mastermind Tobias Forge shares his personal track-by-track guide to the Swedish group's eagerly-awaited new album Impera. Forge has previously revealed that much of his band’s fifth album is rooted, lyrically and subject-wise, in the Victorian era, and deals with "dark shit". Last year, the Swedish musician revealed that Impera was “a record about the rise and ultimately the unescapable fails and falls of empires", and that the album was partially inspired by the book The Rule of Empires: Those Who Built Them, Those Who Endured Them, And Why They Always Fall.

Now, exclusively for Metal Hammer, Forge takes us deep inside the follow-up to 2018's Prequelle, which is set for release via Loma Vista on March 11. “I think people need to understand that my albums are never conceptual in the way that King Diamond’s are,” he says by way of an introduction to Impera. “It’s never a story that starts in the beginning and finishes at the end of the story. It’s not a rock opera. To compare it to other artists, it’s more like Iron Maiden’s concept albums – like a record that loosely dabbles with the concept of pharaohs or time. On Powerslave, there are other songs that aren’t technically about pharaohs. Or like on Somewhere In Time, the songs have a chronological element in them. Impera is similar, where the songs are shining a light on various things within an empire. I guess you could say they show the cracks inside of it.”

And now, Impera, track-by-track, through the eyes of Tobias Forge.

IMPERIUM

“That’s meant as a national anthem opening. In the illustrations that come with the record, there’s a big city landscape and this cart rolling into town at sunrise. It has a beginning element that I like.”

KAISARION

“That’s the violent start of this new empire. The call to arms. Burn down everything from the past to build something new and burn the books and kill the whore.”

SPILLWAYS

“This is an elegy for the darkness that most people have inside. When you have a dam, spillways are the run-offs so the dam won’t overflow. That darkness inside us needs to find its way out.”

CALL ME LITTLE SUNSHINE

“It’s the Devil, basically, speaking to the little person in front of his or her computer or in their little room, calling out for them, ‘I’m always here for you.’ In this context, it’s not a good thing.”

HUNTER’S MOON

“An ode to classic horror. There was something nostalgic and longing in that track that drove me to write it. Like coming back to the playground at nighttime. Also the empire of childhood.”

WATCHER IN THE SKY

“It enthusiastically explains how we can utilise science to make the world smaller and to reverse scientific things. Basically a flattened Earth, which I found amusing.”

DOMINION

“A segue, where we go outside the city to this vast landscape – meadows and all that, so you see another part of the empire. It’s meant to sound majestic – like some of those space movies like Dune.”

TWENTIES

“A call to arms. It could be a very optimistic song about a future where we can grab people by the pussy and just fuck shit up. So it’s meant as a party track, if you like that stuff.”

DARKNESS AT THE HEART OF MY LOVE

“This is about people promoting all of these values under the guise of being God-fearing and righteous while they practise none of it. It’s just for cash and power.”

GRIFTWOOD

“About people who will say or do anything to advance themselves. Like these Bible-thumpers, they don’t believe in that shit. They’re boosted. They’re triple-vaccinated. If their daughter gets pregnant, do you think they’re going to keep it? Fuck no.”

BITE OF PASSAGE

(Short instrumental segue)

RESPITE ON THE SPITALFIELDS

“About Jack the Ripper, who was never caught. As a horror fan, the Victorian era has so many cornerstones of gothic darkness. I’ve always been fond of that Victorian part of London and its dirt and industry-meets-posh, white glove aristocracy.”

Metal Hammer

#Tobias Forge #Tobias Interview #Papa IV #The Band Ghost #Ghost

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pencilscratchins · 3 years

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YOU HAVE A MINI STORY FOR AZULA AND HER WIFE????? MS REBECCA I AM NOT ASKING I AM BEGGING

YOU ARE ENABLERS ALL OF YOU THIS IS A NOVEL UNDER THIS CUT

- SO SCENE SET a few years after canon, in their mid twenties (post sokka & azula solo) sokka and zuko are newly engaged, katara just decided to run for chief when hakoda steps down-- everyones pretty set in their lives.

-- azula’s doing pretty good- she’s grown a lot and learned some coping mechanisms and she’s gotten to a pretty good place with most of the group. especially toph and sokka-- but she’s starting to feel out of place in the palace.

--- like her whole life she was raised to be the fire lord, and now-- not only is she not the fire lord, she doesn’t really think being a part of the government's healthy for her at all. but she cant do that to zuko, whos done so much for her, who is she abandon him

- they all take a summer off and spend a few weeks in toph’s family’s country home bc rich people always just have house places smh (well, aang mentions he and zuko technically always on the job and zukos like “speak for yourself, hotman, iroh’s covering my gig, i’m lee from the tea shop rn”)

- the beifong’s house is in the middle of this smaller village on the coast, where there’s a farmers market every morning of local vendors, which sokkas psyched about.

-- nobody wants to go with sokka bc shopping with sokka means getting up at 7am and spending a full hour at each booth, but azula gets roped into tagging along when sokka is like “none of you are STRONG enough to wake up early and get going huh?” and her pride cant let that hang

-- rookie mistake.

- so she goes and spots nasim’s booth almost immediately and realizes in that moment: she’s not just a lesbian in theory. It is in fact, in practice. she is very gay.

- NASIM is a local greens farmer, whos family runs a pretty good sized farm on the outskirts of the village. her uncle is the bad boy of the family, who split off from lettuce to travel with his cabbage business. (this is completely added when i saw the cabbage merchant responses on the other post and laughed so hard SKSK)

-- nasim has always been a very level headed, calm sort of person. not shy, but careful with her words and very considerate. she’s one of those good men in the storm, so to speak; she’s the person who will level out every solution to a problem with immense patience. but with that, she’s not great at making decisions for herself, and is in NO MEANS a risk taker.

- sokka notices azula flustered immediately and is like “well as your almost brother i need to tell you how to flirt with her” and shes like “excuse you i know how to flirt” and goes up and just… bombs it. like we’re talking “you’re outfits really sharp” pt 2

-- “these are incredible lettuces. were i an enemy leader, i would burn your fields down as to ensure the opposing forces could not gain their nutrition!” “.... well lettuce burns more calories to eat than it gives but… uh thanks,”

--- sokkas like i may be above my head here, i recognize that.

- he brings it up to zuko who, in a rare display of pure big brother energy, immediately tells the group who all decided they HAVE to make this happen. toph, because she thinks it ripe with hilarious opportunity; katara because she thinks a relationship might chill azula out a little; suki because she has nothing better to do; and aang because he just loves love :,)

- obviously, they are all inept idiots who can only date members of their immediate friend group, so they do not help. aang goes along with her and nasim is like “are you the avatar?” and he’s like “why yes! yes i am!!” and shes like “you have to leave immediately, my uncle warned me about you.” “that tracks, that does track”

- azula is kinda freaking out bc through all this misplaced attempts, she is spending time with and getting to know nasim and genuinely likes her- to the point where she could see herself starting a life in the village which is DISGUSTING and very unazula like!

-- like nasim and her keep running into each other, even outside of the groups intervention and they like... get along? nasims one of the first people who knows who she was and doesnt care; and nasim has never met anyone with so much passion and fire.

- azula & katara have a talk where katara’s like look. you were pretty fucked up and you did fucked up things, but those don’t have to define you for the rest of your life. if i have found a way to forgive you, you have to forgive yourself. And if forgiving yourself means moving away from the capital and marrying a woman-- do it.

-- azulas like why are you being nice to me and shes like well “my brothers marrying your brother so that makes us…” “nothing to each other” “oh thank tui and lu”

- anywayy this is already far too long BUT YOU GET THE GIST they fall in love and she moves to the village and run the farm together and my god, ive made yet another farm lesbian god DAMMIT

#ALL ROADS LEAD TO FARM LESBIANS #thank you for hearing me out through this lesbian fit im having IM SORRY SKSK #redemption azula #not art #long response #long post #under the cut #read more #head canon #i just really want azula to find herself and like terrorize a small town with her intense community engagement

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animereaderinsertwriter · 3 years

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Cupbearer (Eren/Reader)

Part III

Part I

Part II

Part IV (in progress)

Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT (im watching you, if you see this, begone!), vampire!eren, hunter!reader, fem!reader, smut, some amount of predator/prey dynamics but only kinda?? there is also a significant age difference but only cos eren is immortal and all that jazz. we're all adults here. there will eventually be smut.... and do i really need to say that there's gonna be blood in a vampire fic?

Description: A story of falling in love in 4 parts.

Eren is a bad man (well, a bad Creature) who has done bad things. When he meets the great-great-great granddaughter of one of his former friends in his favorite blood bar, however, he thinks it might not matter so much what happened in the past, so long as he can make the future something worth living to see.

Ao3 link here

After that night, it became increasingly hard for (Y/N) to leave, and for Eren to let her do so.

Something between them had changed. There were moments— when Eren would press feather-light kisses against her forehead, when he would casually leave a cup of her favorite tea where she would find it— where (Y/N) felt as though her heart might burst. It was all the little things that baffled her, all the ways in which he seemed to understand exactly how she felt; it was as though he knew her more than she knew herself. On the mornings that she would wake in his bed, sleepy and sticky and wholly content, (Y/N) wondered what it would be like to have this life forever.

Other days— on days like today— she was reminded exactly why that could never be, and it broke her heart.

Today, they had planned a romantic dinner in the park, an evening under the stars. It was supposed to be something special, a little getaway just for the two of them; they had wanted to leave as soon as (Y/N) was relieved from her patrol, so Eren had moved her things to his place, hoping that they could leave together from there for their evening alone.

In and of itself, that was fine… but when (Y/N) came in, covered head-to-toe in viscous Creature blood, Eren was furious.

“And you call me a monster,” he growled, looking her up and down with hate in his eyes. “I can’t believe you.”

He stood from his seat on the sofa, and (Y/N) began to back away, still wary from the fight she had narrowly escaped from unscathed. Her every instinct told her that she should run, fire a round of silver bullets into his chest, but she steeled herself, doing neither.

“It’s not my fault— they were attacking a civilian,” she told him as he stalked towards her, his face twisted into a horrific scowl. “I tried to stop them— tried to find out what was going on— but then they came at me with their claws, and I was left with no choice.”

“There is always a choice,” he snarled, and it was then that anger filled (Y/N) from the soles of her feet to the crown of her head. "They were probably terrified of you— how could you possibly blame them for lashing out?"

(Y/N) grit her teeth.

“This, from the man who thought genocide was his only option to the same problem?”

Eren made a low, warning sound in the back of his throat, but (Y/N) pressed on.

“You would rather me have died?” she demanded, stepping into his space. “Would it have pleased you more for my body to bleed out on the pavement, ripped to shreds by an aggressive werewolf? Would you even care, or would you just find the next blood bag and move on with your life?”

“Maybe so,” he shot back, “Then I wouldn’t have to deal with your insufferable mouth.”

That stung— but if there was one thing (Y/N) knew how to do, it was to strike back twice as hard as she had been struck.

“Fine then,” she said, turning on her heel. “I won’t bother you any longer. I’ll go out and find someone who actually wants my company, someone who’ll fuck me good and proper over the counter at some hole-in-the-wall bar over on Easy Street, someone younger, with a nicer cock and less fucking baggage— ”

She didn’t get to finish the sentence, or even walk a single step further— Eren grabbed her by the hair and pulled her to him, his fist painfully tight against her scalp.

“Wanna say that again, to my face?” he asked, tilting her head back.

“I’ll go find someone else to fuck me,” she spat, struggling in vain against him. “I’ll spread my legs for the next available schmuck in the closest bar I can find, so you can hear me scream his name and not yours.”

It was a low blow, to threaten a vampire’s claim on something they had previously assumed had belonged to them, but (Y/N) didn’t care. She had almost died today, and she’d be damned if she was going to take shit from anyone about what she had to do to survive. If Eren wanted a fight, she would damn sure give him one.

“Like hell you will,” he told her, pulling her head back so that she had to strain to remain standing. “You’re mine. Flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood— you are my Companion.”

"I belong to no one!"

Those words ripped from her throat and echoed throughout the empty house, and it was then that Eren stopped, looking at her with calculation in his gaze.

"You're right," he said, releasing her hair. "No mortal can serve two masters, lest they love one and despise the other; an archaic religious concept, but an accurate one nonetheless. You've made it abundantly clear where your loyalty lies. I was a fool for thinking otherwise."

(Y/N) began to tremble. "Eren, what are you saying?"

"I release you from our pact," he replied coldly, his eyes so dull and lifeless that it sent a chill down her spine. "No longer are you bound to be my wine-press— I free you from me."

"Eren—"

"Go," he commanded, and (Y/N) felt terribly, horribly empty.

Once, he would have told her to come freely, go safely, and leave something of the happiness she brought him; now, he gave her a cold dismissal, and it frightened her more than she was willing to admit. Still, she went, feeling hollow and used, and she didn't bother to shut the door behind her as she turned to walk home, weary from the day and sick from fighting.

***

Armin had lived for a very long time, but even so, he had yet to meet anyone so foul of temper as Eren when the Hunger was on him.

"Eren, you have to feed."

The vampire, as ill in health as in temper, glared weakly at him. "I'm not hungry."

"But you are Hungry, and don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about. Look, if this is about that girl—"

"I told you not to speak of her!"

Ah, so it was about her. By the looks of him, it had been two weeks since Eren had fed; Armin would bet that he hadn't seen her in the same amount of time.

"If I need to, I'll drag her here to make up with you myself," said Armin testily, "I refuse to watch my best friend starve himself because he refuses to feed on anyone else."

"You will not touch her."

Armin rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything further. He just patted Eren's arm in farewell and set about finding the little lady who was the root cause of his current consternation.

It took longer than Armin had anticipated to find the young woman who had, for all intents and purposes, completely unraveled Eren's composure; her scent, while thick and memorable in Eren's apartment, was hard to track otherwise. Armin spent two hours just wandering the city while trying to catch a breath of it here or there, and when he finally did manage to catch a whiff of her scent and follow it to her, he understood exactly why it had been so hard to track her down.

The girl was a Hunter, of all things.

When Armin found her, she was knee-deep in sewage, her knife embedded to the hilt in the skull of what appeared to be some species of winged reptile. Armin, having been a tad desperate and not actually having been expecting to find anything when he lifted the lid to the man-hole on 32nd and Main, was surprised to say the least— and when (Y/N) ripped her knife free and readjusted her stance into a defensive one directed at him, his surprise turned to intrigue.

“Er, hello there,” he said, scratching the back of his head. “I don’t suppose you’ll take my word for it that I just want to chat, will you?”

Curiously, the words gave the woman pause. She relaxed her stance ever-so-slightly, and then her eyes lit up with recognition.

“Armin Arlert?” she queried, craning her neck up to see him. “Is that you?”

This one grows curiouser and curiouser, he thought, but responded affirmatively.

“Can you give me a bit, then?” she asked, kicking the corpse of the Creature she’d just killed. “I’m not exactly fit for company. Perhaps we could meet later for a discussion over tea?”

“I’m afraid it’s urgent,” he said as she knelt to decapitate her prey— likely for proof of victory. “I think you know why I’m here, so you understand that time is of the essence.”

She didn’t look up at him as she replied.

“If this is about Eren, then I don’t have time to talk.”

Her tone was hard, bitter, and matter-of-fact, and it reminded Armin so much of Jean that it hurt… but just like Jean, Armin would bet that she could be won over by appealing to her inherent sense of human decency

“He’s suffering (Y/N),” he said, awkwardly crouching above the manhole so that she could better see the truth written in his eyes. “He won’t feed.”

“That’s hardly my problem.”

And oh, how well Armin knew that state of mind. If there was one thing Eren Jaeger knew how to do, it was push away the people who loved him most. Armin had dealt with that particularly lovely quirk of his for centuries, and it never got easier to deal with no matter how much time passed. If anything, it got more difficult the older they both got.

“When you’re the solution to a problem, you become a part of it whether you like it or not,” Armin replied, patient and understanding. “He cares for you.”

(Y/N) looked up at him then, fury in her eyes.

“He hurt me.”

Armin shrugged. “He hurts everyone he cares about. It’s just who he is. Nothing comes for free— least of all the love and loyalty of someone as old and as powerful as Eren.”

“Your heart may be toughened to his meanness,” she told him, the head of the creature she’d slain in her hands, “But mine is not, and I don’t like him well enough to willfully remain for him to use as an emotional punching bag.”

At that, Armin couldn’t help but let loose a wry grin.

“No,” he said, “I should think not; but I do think you love him well enough to make sure he doesn’t starve himself to death because he can’t have you.”

(Y/N) was silent for a long moment, then she crossed her arms.

“I won’t come crawling to him. He’s going to have to come to me.”

Armin grimaced. He wasn’t looking forward to that conversation.

“Is that at all negotiable?”

(Y/N) shook her head. “Absolutely not.”

Well, there was nothing for it.

“And you will let him feed if he comes to you?”

(Y/N) thought, then nodded. “If he proves himself deserving.”

Armin couldn't help himself; he laughed. Eren might have met his match in this one.

"Very well. I'll work my magic, and you work yours."

She nodded and bade him farewell, but before Armin left, he paused.

"Hey, (Y/N)?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

With that, he left her, ready to take Eren by the ear and throw him at her if he had to.

***

(Y/N)'s heart was racing as she opened the door, knowing good and well who would be behind it.

After her little talk with Armin— and the near heart attack he had given her in the process— she had called in to Zeke and told him she needed to go home to deal with an emergency. A replacement for her patrols had been sent, and she had come home to wash the grim from her skin, making herself as presentable as possible with the time she had. (Y/N) was worried, so worried, that the filth she had been wading in earlier would have left a lingering stench, or even that it had affected the taste of her; she had scrubbed and scrubbed until her skin was raw, hoping to erase every last remnant of her day from her skin…but as it turned out, she needn't have bothered.

Two, three, four hours later, and Eren hadn't shown— it was only now, right at the six hour mark, that he had decided to come to her.

Needless to say, (Y/N) was… less than pleased, but when she opened the door to find Eren pale and drawn, with dark circles beneath his eyes, her heart softened ever-so-slightly. It seemed that Armin was right; he had been suffering.

"You look like shit," she told him quietly, opening her door widely to let him in.

"I assure you, I feel worse," Eren grumbled, but stepped in as she closed the door behind him.

For a long, awkward moment, they just looked at each other, silent and unsure. It was unsettling how unlike himself Eren seemed; he was almost soft when he looked at her, and (Y/N) didn't know how to feel about it. Eventually, though, like two opposite ends of a magnet, they were drawn together, and Eren brushed a piece of hair back from her face.

"Hi," he said, his voice low and rough. (Y/N) caught his hand in hers before it could fall from her hair, and she pressed it against her chest, keeping it trapped there, touching the skin above her beating heart.

"Hey."

They watched each other a moment more before the dam broke between them, and they both spoke at once.

"I'm sorry."

A shared grin, a shy laugh— and then (Y/N) said what they both were thinking.

"You need to feed first, and talk later," she told him, her hand still clasped in his. "You're not off the hook, but I doubt we can have any real conversation with you like this."

Eren nodded gratefully, tugging at her wrist— his usual biting spot— but (Y/N) shook her head, indicating her neck. The thickest, richest blood, she knew, would come from there; and if there was ever a time to be generous with the placement of Eren's bite, she figured that it would be now.

The worst of it was over quickly. There was a brief sting at the intrusion of razor-sharp fangs, and then the vaguely uncomfortable feeling of having something poking down into places that decidedly should not be poked at all, but then (Y/N) quickly eased into the rhythm of the act, focusing wholly on the way Eren's lips felt against her skin. In a few moments, she would become pleasantly light-headed, and then Eren would pull away and look at her like she'd hung the stars. Oh, how she'd missed that look! (Y/N) found herself longing for it even before she quite realized it.

And then, without warning, a vision came, and (Y/N) was swept into another world entirely.

The evening sky rolled endlessly out towards the horizon; it seemed to go on forever, sparkling with more stars than (Y/N) had ever seen before. The full moon was so bright that it cast the whole world in what seemed like silver sunlight, and (Y/N) wondered how anyone could sleep on a night such as this. It was far too beautiful an experience to miss.

Alongside her— alongside Eren, through whose eyes she saw the world— strode Armin and two older-looking cadets who she recognized from previous memories as Reiner and Berthold. Eren was feeling anxious over something, and Reiner and Berthold were… well, they were kind. Reiner especially seemed to be like an older brother, and Eren admired him.

"You'll do just fine tomorrow," said Reiner, placing a large, warm hand on Eren's shoulder. "I'm certain of it."

The memory ended, and (Y/N) came back to herself as Eren's tongue laved over the wounds his fangs had left in her neck, sealing them.

"See anything?" he asked, his breath warm against her skin, and (Y/N) nodded.

"You loved them, too," she said softly, remembering the fondness Eren had felt as though it had been her own. "You loved the Hunters that tried to take everything from you, and— and I think they loved you, too."

Eren pulled away from her, and it was then that she saw the tears shining in his eyes.

"Yes," he replied, his voice broken. "We were children. How could we not love each other as God intended? Hate was never in our nature; it was an inheritance that we couldn't escape."

He paused for a moment, then spoke again.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he told her, cupping her cheek in his hand. "I lost my temper. I forget— I forget that you're not them."

And (Y/N) understood. She understood that no matter how many centuries passed, there would be wounds that just wouldn't heal for Eren. He would lash out at things that wouldn't make sense to anyone who hadn't experienced the horrors of war as he had. Suddenly, she felt petty for having lashed out as she had, and guilt threatened to rise up and choke her.

"You're forgiven," she replied, leaning into his touch. "It takes two to tango— I shouldn't have baited you like I did. I knew how badly that would hurt you, and that's exactly why I said it."

At that, Eren cracked a grin.

"I expect nothing less from a Kirschtein. Your grandfather would have punched me square in the jaw— and as big as that bastard got when we were older, he probably would have put me on my ass."

(Y/N) couldn't help but laugh, and Eren joined her, their combined joy swelling until there was nothing else in the world but their happiness.

How they started kissing, neither one of them would be able to say afterwards, but in the grand scheme of things, it hardly mattered. Their love was too large to contain, too much to hold back— and it was love, (Y/N) realized, though she hadn't quite put words to it yet. She loved Eren Jaeger, a Creature, a monster, as much as her grandfather before her had and more. She loved him with a desperation that felt like being knocked over by an ocean wave and plunged into depths where her feet no longer touched the sand. She loved him more than she had ever loved anyone before.

And, as he placed her gently on her bed that was barely big enough for two, divesting himself of his shirt above her, (Y/N) thought that maybe she didn't mind it so much as long as he loved her in return.

"I missed you," said Eren, dropping kisses by her ear as he unhooked her bra. "I missed this."

"Me too," she gasped as his mouth wandered to her nipple, her hands fisting in his hair. "Oh, God, I missed you too."

The time for words was soon gone, however; Eren's sinful, sinful mouth traveled lower and lower until he was kissing at the insides of her thighs, parting them to access what lay between, and (Y/N) threw her head back as he spread her open with his hands and sucked brazenly at her clit.

How long he spent there, worshipping her sex, (Y/N) had no idea; all she knew was that she came once from his mouth on her and a second time from his fingers inside her, and when he finally, mercifully withdrew, she was broken down to the simplest parts of herself; there was nothing left but an affection so deep that it threatened to overtake her if she didn't let it out, and she did the only thing she knew to do to release the overwhelming pressure that was building in her chest as Eren pushed his big, veiny cock into her.

She told him what she should have said a long time ago.

"Oh, Eren," she gasped as his cockhead shoved deep inside her. "I love you."

As soon as the words came out of her mouth, Eren went unnaturally still. He looked at her with pupils blown wide inside emerald eyes, and his fangs slightly distended; in any other situation, (Y/N) might have laughed at how surprised he seemed, but it seemed as though she were frozen in time, unable to do anything but stare earnestly up at them, hoping he understood how much she cared for him.

"You… what?"

"I love you," she repeated, her body moving without her permission to roll her hips up into him, moving his cock even further inside her. "Please, Eren, I need—"

He cut her off with a forceful, bruising kiss, and his hips started making slow, deep thrusts inside her, her legs hiked up over his shoulders.

"Again," he said against her lips."Say it again."

"I love you."

Another thrust or two, a hand circling her wounded throat.

"Again."

"I love you, Eren."

"Again."

This time, it was only a whisper.

"I love you," she said, and Eren began fucking her in earnest.

"You are so fucking beautiful," he told her as he thrust hard and deep inside her. "You're every man's dream, a nirvana the damned such as myself were never meant to reach. (Y/N), you are everything, and I—"

He seemed to choke on the words, and (Y/N) kissed him as he tried to regain his composure.

"I don't deserve you," he said, shaking with the force of their passion. "I don't deserve your love."

It's not about deserving, she wanted to say, It never was, but then she was coming again, her climax contracting her walls around her lover, and it was all she could do to remain conscious as Eren fucked her relentlessly through it all, chasing his own high.

It was only later, after a shower and something to eat that they finally spoke again. They were back in bed, and Eren's arm was wrapped around her, as though he were afraid to let her go for even a moment; truthfully, (Y/N) thought he was asleep, but then his breath tickled her ear as he said,

"I love you, angel."

And that, (Y/N) thought, had been worth it all, in the end.

#aot x y/n #aot x reader #aot #aot fanfiction #eren x reader #vampire!eren jaeger #aot smut

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primalsouls · 3 years

Text

white rabbit pt 3

langa hasegawa x gn! reader (pt 1 - pt 2)

anon: omg is there going to be a part three of the white rabbit ?? i liked it a lot but its ok if you dont want to write a 3rd part :D

⚠️ : mentions of blood (like from small cuts??)

theme: general

note: sorry if the part where they skated is badly written lol. ive not good with "action" scenes. 💀 anyway, here is part 3! i hope you like it, enjoy it, and thank you for reading! no proofread, sorry for any mistake. let me know what you think. :)

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

Skateboards were lined up beside each other. Their owner stood on them with ease, readying themselves once the horns go off. The crowd watched with anticipating gazes. Whispers were thrown among themselves on who would beat who. Bets were placed. All eyes set on the young pair. Excitement and anxiety swim around the atmosphere.

Langa took a deep breath. His baby blue eyes looked over to his group of friends. Reki sent him a wink, mouthing "good luck" toward him. Miya and Shadow talked among themselves what the White Rabbit would do to Langa. Said boy was nervous, for the time during a beef. He was nervous. Going up against his crush. Was probably not the best way for first impressions. Maybe, just maybe a beef wasn't a good way to talk to his crush. At all.

Before the race start off, Langa turned to the other skater.

"[Y/N], good luck." Langa said, surprising them with a kind smile. [Y/N] blinked, repeating his words through their head before a click of the tongue was heard and their eyes narrowed.

"I don't need your well wishes." They started quietly, voice low and steady. "I'm gonna win and you'll be the one leaving S. Not me." Langa was taken back by their words. He picked up the broken tone on their last two words. "And it's White Rabbit to you and everyone else. We're not friends and we'll never be." As they spoke, the traffic lights above them, went on one by one. When it reached the third light and the horn went off at the same time [Y/N] said those last three words, they dashed away from the crowd and Langa, already starting to get ahead of him. Langa froze a bit, watching them skated away. His head repeated their words over and over. It made his heart stirred uncomfortably inside, a heavy feeling settled inside his chest.

"Langa! What are you doing!?" Miya called out, bringing the boy out of his thoughts. He glanced over to them. Miya's face scrunched in a pissed manner as Shadow and Reki stared at him confused.

"Ah... Sorry..." Langa mumbled before he prepared himself shortly and took off with ease speed. Reki watched with a frown on his face.

"What's up with him?" Shadow asked as they all watched the bluenette disappeared from their sights. Reki shrugged, turning to the other two.

"I don't know... He look upset for a moment there." Reki said, scratching the back of his head. "Langa," he started off, catching their attention. "He has a crush on [Y/N]." His voice was low, wanting to keep it between the three of them but Shadow was shock at the confess he repeatedly the sentence loud enough for the small crowd surrounding them to hear but Reki and Miya shut him off, whispers being thrown at him to quiet down. "You guys heard me right." Reki continued, pulling them away from the crowd and headed to the large screen displaying Langa and [Y/N] racing down the old mine. Langa was still a bit far from them it made the watchers believed he won't be able to catch up.

"A crush? On [Y/N]?" Miya started slowly.

"aka the White Rabbit of S?" Shadow chimed in.

"Adam's sibling!?" Reki jumped when they both yelled at him in unison, causing him to take a step back and held his arms up to defend himself. He nodded rapidly to answer their three-part questions.

Miya shook his head, disbelief written all over their face. Shadow crossed his arms, head shaking as he disapproved of Langa's crush on the other skater.

"That's absurd. Of all people, this slime likes [Y/N]!? Did he hit his head or something!? Not only that, what makes him think beefing them would get them to like him back?" Miya paced back and forth, hands moving everywhere as he rambled on.

"Heh. He probably wants to see if they were compatible. I mean, it's such a uncool way to talk to your crush. If it were me, I would have just show them my awesome tricks!" Shadow exclaimed but when he turned to the boys, he received nothing but deadpan looks. "Why are you looking at me like that!?" Shadow glared, gritting his teeth.

"Oh, please, you wouldn't have the guts to do that in front of the pretty florist manager. Much less talk without looking like a fool." Miya taunted, smirking. Shadow splurted out insults at the youngest. Reki chuckled awkwardly. The redhead turned to the screen, the camera set on Langa. His brows knitted down. Reki could see he focused on something else than on winning.

"Langa..." Reki muttered, fists clenched by his sides.

Langa turned a corner, catching up to [Y/N] and the skaters that watched by the sidelines down the narrowed racetrack cheered for him and the White Rabbit. Most of them demanding the skater in front of him to guide him through their thorned pit. Langa didn't want this. He realized that now. This won't get him anywhere aside skating against them. And from the way they spoke to him in that little time between them, it sounded like anger flowed through their voice. He wondered why. Has he said something wrong to them? Has he spoke to them in the past and pissed them off in any sort of way? Langa couldn't recall any moment approaching them. So, why did they acted cold towards him? Why did he felt hatred from them? It bothered him. It upset him.

[Y/N] clicked their tongue. They glanced over their shoulder and noticed the boy catch up to them with great speed. They won't lose. They won't leave S. They won't be strip off their title. Off their everything they built. [Y/N] won't allow Langa to win. They had to win. Their life was on the line. Just the thoughts of it eagered them to speed up. They lowered their stance, picking up speed. As another corner came to view, the rabbit swirled side by side a bit, bend slightly and turned the sharp corner. Their breathing quickened. They were anxious for the race to come to an end. They know they be should careful but they wanted to end the beef already and prove to Adam what they were capable of being S's White Rabbit.

Langa. It was all they heard from their older brother. It disgusted them. Made their skin crawled. When their eyes first landed on the bluenette and the way he skate, it left them stunned. [Y/N] never saw anyone skate like him before. And when they saw Langa go up against their brother that one night. The way he avoided his signature move, Love Hug had left them astonished. [Y/N] only got hurt terribly when his brother practiced Love Hug on them and when their aunts questioned the bandages and injuries on them, they lied by saying they fell down somewhere. Bruises were always left on their body from that move. And it envies them that Langa found a way to avoid it.

[Y/N]'s handa clutched into fists. They reached into their single pocket on the front of their hoodie. They pulled out a long rope. Small, yet thick enough to hurl it at someone. It was littered with small sharp pointers that resembled thorns. The rabbit turned half their body a little towards Langa. As he came up behind them, a few feet away, they threw the rope with great force at him.

"Argh!" Langa covered his face when the object was thrown at him. He felt small thugs on his sleeves. He ended up taking a step back, making him lose his footing on the board but Langa forced his body to calm down and steady itself. When he tried to shoved the object away from him, it scrapped small cuts on his cheeks. He pulled down his arms down, looking around. Due to his small step back, he slowed his speed down, creating distance between them. The boy looked down at his arms and noticed small tears on his sleeves. No cuts created on his skin, though. But he did felt a hint of liquid streamed down his cheeks. Langa figured he got some cuts on his face and blood trickled down but he was scared to see it. He didn't have time to faint at the sight of blood.

A smirk was visibled on their face. With Langa's fall back, there would be no way for him to catch up. They were nearing the factory after all. Where the tracks narrowed down with no room to move or do tricks. The thought of reaching the winning line clouded their mind, [Y/N] forgotten what Langa was capable of doing.

And speaking of the young man, Langa made a couple of shortcuts to reach the rabbit.

It was beginning to look more of a chase now.

A bluenette skater chasing a white rabbit with crimson eyes. The factory being their thorns of pit.

[Y/N] looked around. Their eyes widen when they spotted Langa once again catching up to them. "What the hell!? How!?" They exclaimed. Cheers were heard from around them in the factory. It pained them. They were supposed to cheer for the White Rabbit. Not a pathetic boy who followed the rabbit down the hole. With teeth gritted, [Y/N] faced the boy completely, a deep frown on their face. "I won't lose." They whispered, coming to a halt by the stairs the narrowed catwalk led to.

Langa frowned slightly, looking around and trying to come up with a way to avoid the rabbit. Yet the same moment, he wanted to see what they would do.

"Oh no..." Miya said. Reki watched with mouth gaped.

"They're gonna hurt him. Real bad." Shadow added in.

"Langa... Langa, careful!" Reki shouted out with both hands around his mouth.

[Y/N] reached behind their back pocket and pulled out two black containers the sized of their palm and shaped like the spade. A single outlined white rabbit drawn in the middle of the spade container. As Langa neared them, [Y/N] raised their hands and like the stopwatch the white rabbit carries, time seemed to slow down around the both of them. Langa's eyes widen as the arms were pulled down, fingers releasing the containers, watching them aimed down at the space between them both. Shouts were heard from around them. Langa looked down at the ground once the containers hit the floor. Right before his eyes and [Y/N]'s, who still stood by the stairs, off the board, glaring directly at Langa with hatred, the containers exploded. Langa squinted when he noticed black like-vines popped out of the containers. They were thick like the rope from earlier, covered in thorns-like pointers as well. But this time, they were a little bigger that it looked like a tangled mess around the catwalk.

The thorned vines decorated the rails. From a far, it looked like an arch entrance was created. Langa closed his eyes and covered himself as he skated through the vines. His clothes getting caught on the thorns that looked like were getting closer. They were shrinking. When Langa glanced up, [Y/N] was already skating down the track, more arched vines coming life around the rails. They were spreading like they had a mind of their own. Langa bit his lower lip back. If he keeps going through the narrowed path, he would be cover in cuts, badly. And once wrong move would leave him blind.

He was determined. He would catch the rabbit.

Langa picked up his speed, deciding to go through the vines until he could figure out what to do. Blood spilled around his clothes from the cuts that covered his exposed skin but he didn't care at the moment. His eyes spotted an opening through the vines. Langa took a deep breath and jumped with his skateboard on that opening, a part of the rails that wasn't cover by the vines and swiftly rotated on the rail. A breeze going through his hair. [Y/N] glanced at their side and watched in shock as Langa clicked the front of his board on the rail that hasn't been decorated with their vines and moved once again with the other side of his board and jumped to land in front of the rabbit, a few feet away from them. The vines behind them both now, still spreading but with no one caught in their webs.

The White Rabbit was in rage. Langa escaped their hole. Despite the damage he received, he managed to crawled his way out and get ahead of them. They couldn't do anything else. The finishline was up ahead. Langa and [Y/N] tried to gather as much speed as they can.

"No. No, no, no, no...." [Y/N] whispered, pushing forward.

Reki, Miya, and Shadow were at the finishline, cheered for Langa to keep going.

Friends. It must be nice to have them. The support one gets. Having fun with them. They didn't had many friends growing up. Always isolated to their bedroom. They weren't allow to attend school like their brother had. No even oversea school. [Y/N] was stuck doing homeschool. No one ever knew about the child who came from another mother. Their father made sure no information about them were leaked out. Their father only paid attention to Ainosuke, after all. Neglecting only [Y/N]. Their aunts' so-called love hurts them. They didn't like the way they disciplined them. It traumatized them. A "love" like theirs was no love. Images was all they care about.

It sucks. And it wasn't fair.

Life wasn't fair.

"No..." [Y/N] stopped right on the finishline. Hands limped by their sides. Cheers grew louder around them.

But they didn't cheer for them, the White Rabbit.

"You did it! Langa!" Reki yelled excited, running up to his friend and threw himself at him. Langa huffed as he catched him but winced in pain.

"Careful, Reki! He's hurt." Miya pointed out, running up to them with Shadow. Langa waved a hand dismissively.

"I'm fine..." He said, resisting the urge to look at the cuts. His friends sighed at his response, shaking their head in disagreement.

Langa only smile before he looked around, looking for the other skater. He glanced back at the finishline and spotted them standing them, skateboard still on the ground, one foot to keep it from slipping away. Their head hanged low. Langa picked up his brother and walked up to them, believing he could possibly talk to them properly.

"[Y/N]-"

"It's not fair..." Langa heard them, yet their voice was barely above a whisper.

"[Y/N]... Wha-"

"Congratulations, my SNOW!" a familiar voice announced, cutting Langa off. Said boy looked at the source of the voice. From the entrance behind the crowd, Adam waltzed in on his board. Like the first time they met. "You did it! You defeated the White Rabbit! How wonderful." Adam applauded, stopping in front of the two young skaters. "You finally caught the rabbit and dragged it out of its hole." Langa frowned. "And I'm sure that rabbit knows what happens when its loses." Adam glanced at his sibling. Their fists clenched together.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Reki called out, taking one step forward.

"The white rabbit leaves Wonderland. Forever."

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avengerscompound · 3 years

Text

Until the End of the World - 18

Until the End of the World: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count: 2763

Rating: E

Warnings: pregnancy, labor, induction without consent, forced medical proceedures, mentions of forced pregnancy, action, violence, death

Synopsis: Four years after Steve and Bucky got to the bottom of the HYDRA conspiracy that had led to you and your son being hunted for the first three years of his life, you, Bucky, and Steve have carved out a nice life together. Things are calm and you feel like a family unit. When Geo starts calling Bucky and Steve ‘dad’, a decision is made to try and add to your family.

Things aren’t as calm as they seem. When your pregnancy hits the papers, HYDRA rears its head once again, and Steve and Bucky need to track you down to protect the family they had created

Chapter 18

You had sent Geo back to his bed with his instructions. You didn’t think you could get out of here with him without getting caught. Yes, he could open all the doors for you, but there were still guards, and you had no idea where you were. The risk was just too high. Not to mention, that if Viper had been telling the truth, there were other people here who were being experimented on again. If you could get Steve, Bucky, and the rest of the Avengers here, then that was the best option for everyone. You hoped Geo could do as you asked; if you could send a message to the tower - however primitive it was - you trusted that FRIDAY could work out that it was Geo sending it.

You slept badly. The bench was hard and uncomfortable, and they had provided no blankets or pillows. That teamed with the stress of you and Geo being captured, and how close you were to your due date, you were uncomfortable and highly wound. Even with the lack of sleep, a group of HYDRA guards still managed to startle you awake the following day.

They had no concern about treating you gently in your heavily pregnant state. They didn’t even shake you awake, so much as march into the room, grab your arm, and drag you out of bed and down the hall. You had trouble walking and you stumbled down the bright white hall as they dragged you along with them.

You were brought to a room with a hospital bed and a lot of medical equipment, as well as a sterile-looking sofa chair and a clear plastic bassinet and incubator. It looked like a delivery room in a hospital that cared nothing for the comfort of the mother. Viper was waiting there with a group of medical staff dressed in green scrubs.

“What’s going on? Where’s Geo?” You asked.

“Geo is safe,” Viper assured you. “And we’ve decided we’re going to induce labor. Staying in this location is risky, so within the week we’re going to move you. We figured if we move you and your children separately, you’ll be less likely to try and draw attention to yourself when we inevitably see other people.”

“I’m not due yet,” you argued.

“It’s not ideal, I know,” Viper said as the guards muscled you onto the bed and strapped you down. “But it’s close enough. We did consider just cutting that little thing out of you, but they said this way would be safest. Don’t make me change my mind.”

One of the medical staff inserted a cannula into your arm and another began doing an internal examination as two of the guards held your legs apart. You tried to fight them, but there were just too many of them.

“Don’t worry though, dear,” Viper said. “We decided to help keep you calm you’re going to have an old friend here to help you with your labor. A birthing partner. That’s what they call them isn’t it?”

You looked at her wild-eyed, completely confused, and panicked. You had no idea why she was doing this. If they really wanted the baby out, a c-section would be quicker. Though you guessed, with the surgical recovery time it would be harder to move you unnoticed. The whole thing just felt like mind games though. Like she was trying to show you exactly what kind of control she had over you, both your mind and your body.

There was a pop and a gush of water between your legs as the doctor broke your waters and you began to cry. “Why are you doing this to me?”

She patted your cheek. “Consider it your payment for evading us for so long, and destroying my whole operation,” she said. “Or at least a down payment. I don’t plan to make anything easy for you.”

She tapped your cheek again and strode to the door. Just as she reached it, she turned and looked at one of the doctors. “If she behaves, you can let her up, but if she does anything to mess with this labor, strap her down again.”

“Yes, Madame HYDRA,” he said, saluting.

She left the room and the doctors went back to fussing around you. They put monitors on you that seemed to track both yours and the baby’s heart rate. When they seemed to be done most left without a word. One doctor remained. He had a sharp face and dead eyes. “If I let you up, will you behave?” He asked. “I warn you, if you take any of this off, you’re risking the life of that baby.”

You nodded. “I’ll behave,” you agreed.

Your restraints were unfastened. There are guards at the door, not that you can get out,” he said. “And you are being monitored on cameras all over the room. Behave and we’ll be in to check on you regularly.”

As he left a woman was led in. She looked like a wild animal that had been caught in a trap. Her hair was lank and didn’t look like it had been brushed in weeks and her hollow eyes looked around wildly. She was wearing a simple floral nightgown and in her arms was an infant that couldn’t have been more than a few days old. It took you a moment to realize you knew her. She had been in the medical trials back when you were in college. “Azi?” You said.

She turned to look at you startled, furrowing her brow as she assessed you. “Oh my god,” she said and rushed to your side. “Oh my god! What are you doing here? I didn’t know they had you too.”

“How long have you been here, Azi?” You asked.

She shook her head. “I don’t know. A long time. I don’t know. They came right after the trial ended. I wasn’t pregnant then. Now I have a baby. They move us.”

“Oh my god,” you said, wrapping your arm around her. “Come, sit down.”

You led her to the sofa chair and she sat, cradling the baby. It fussed a little but fell back to sleep as its mother held it close. “Azi, what did they do to you?”

“They took me… and some of the others in the test,” she said. “They’re all dead now…” her eyes snapped up to you.

“They’ve been chasing me. This is all my fault,” you said. A dull pain throbbed out from your back and sides, and you winced and gripped the IV stand. Azi looked up at you alarmed.

“Are you in labor?” She asked.

You nodded. “They just induced me.”

“Did they… did they …?” She asked.

You shook your head. “No. No… I think they were waiting. I’ve been living with someone. Some men. I think they were waiting to see if we’d just end up having kids. What… how… did they force someone on you?”

She shook her head. “It was a medical procedure. I know whose it was… I think… do you remember Gal?”

You nodded. Gal was short and funny and you remembered during the tests he always got telekinesis. He thought it was funny to tap people on the shoulder while he was standing on the other side of the room. “You think he’s dead?”

She nodded and then shook her head. “I think… I don’t know. They were injecting us with things, to make our powers come back, but it wasn’t working. Katrina died. And Shae. And … and…”

“It’s okay,” you soothed, rubbing her back. “It’s okay.”

She looked up at you with wide brown eyes. “If I die, will you take care of my baby? You were always stronger than the rest of us. You’ll look after him. Get him out of here.”

“Shh…” You whispered, crouching down. “We’re gonna both get out of here. Okay? And your baby. What’s his name?”

“I called him Gal. I think… I think that’s only fair,” she said. “Promise me you’ll take care of him.”

“I promise. But you’re going to do that yourself, okay?” You assured her, hoping that Steve and Bucky would come for you soon.

Whether it was the drugs they were using or the fact it was your second child, you couldn’t be sure, but your labor seemed to progress very quickly. Once Azi got used to being in the room with you, she became a little more of a comfort to you. She put baby Gal into the bassinet and would rub your back and soothe you through the contractions. Not that there was much she could do. Having someone on your side was better than being alone with HYDRA scientists, but all you could think was how much you needed Bucky and Steve. Even if they did find you now, they were going to miss the birth of their daughter, and the longer your labor progressed, the harder it was to hang on to hope they’d find you at all.

Azi rubbed your back through a long contraction as you bent over the bed. You’d been left alone again, but you knew it wouldn’t be long until the urge to push hit you. You were in that period of serious pain where everything felt helpless and all you wanted to do was be with your boyfriends and curse them out for doing this to you. Instead, you were in pain and terrified and with a woman who was even more scared than you. Gal slept in the bassinet and part of you was even concerned that if you made too much noise would wake him and take Azi’s attention off you.

“You’re doing great,” she soothed. “I think it won’t be long.”

“I don’t want them to deliver her,” you whined. “I don’t want to do this here.”

“I know,” she said. “I know. I’m here.”

A siren started sounding, waking Gal so the baby's cries blended in with the harsh screeching of the alarms. Azi looked around and hurried over to the infant. “Hey, mommy’s here… I’ve got you,” she said, lifting him and holding him so one ear was pressed to her chest and the other was covered by her hand. “What is that?”

Hope began to creep in again. They’d found you. You knew it. It was only a matter of time before you’d be safe again. You might even get to have this baby with them there with you.

Another contraction hit and you felt the need to push. With Azi distracted with Gal and the sirens sounding, you weren’t sure what to do. “Oh god,” you groaned, gritting your teeth and resisting the urge.

The sirens stopped and you heard footsteps run down the hall. You couldn’t be sure, but you had a feeling they’d left you unguarded. Another contraction hit and as it was ending the doors opened. “Mommy,” Geo cried as he ran over to you. “I don’t wanna be here.”

“I know,” you said, rubbing his back. You looked around unsure what to do. If you stayed here, then you were somewhere set up to deliver a baby, and hopefully, it wouldn’t take too long for Steve or Bucky to find you. The problem was if you stayed here all of HYDRA knew where you were too, and if they were going to try and take you out of here before Steve or Bucky could get to you, then staying here let them do that.

You gritted your teeth. “Geo,” you said. “Do you think you can get the building to take us to a safer room?”

He nodded and took your hand. “Azi, let’s go.”

She didn’t move and you doubled over in pain as another contraction hit. “Mommy?” Geo said, looking at you in fear.

“It’s okay, Geo,” you assured him. “Your sister is coming.” You looked back to Azi. “Azi! We have to go!”

She jumped and followed after you. Geo led you out into the hall, clinging to your hand and pulling you along. There were the sounds of shouting and gunfire, but while none sounded close yet, it was rapidly getting closer. It was coming from several different sides and you began to worry that there wasn’t going to be anywhere safe to go.

Another contraction hit as you turned a corner and you almost collapsed to your knees. The urge to push was intense and you had to consciously clench. You were worried she might already be crowning.

“Mom, please,” Geo said, a look of pure panic. “They’re coming.”

You tried to move, but all you could manage was a few staggered steps.

“Stop them!”

Azi jumped and you flinched at the sound of Viper’s voice as she came around the corner. You pushed Geo behind you and tried to get him to move him forward. Azi squared up, holding her baby so he was slightly protected. “Get away from us!” She screamed.

“There’s no use running, you idiots,” Viper snarled as the guards moved forward. “Where do you think you’re going to go.”

Azi pushed Gal into your arms and charged at the guards, a look of wild rage on her face.

“Azi! No!” You screamed.

Everything happened in slow motion. Azi charged at them hands up like she was going to claw their eyes out and lept at the guard closest. He stumbled back, and the gun went off. Azi’s face froze as blood erupted out of her back. You pulled Geo close as he began to wail and hid his face in your side. For a second you weren’t even aware of the alarms going off again, as both Geo and Gal were screaming.

“Geo, run, go,” you said, pushing him forward. He wouldn’t let go of your hand and you were worried that you weren’t going to be able to convince him to move.

“You idiots! We needed her!” Viper screeched. “Get out of my way!”

She ran at you and you pushed Geo forward in an attempt to get away, knowing full well in your state you weren’t getting anywhere. You managed to waddle forward a few steps as loud blasts erupted behind you. Viper grabbed your shoulder and yanked you back. You held Gal closer to you, sure she was about to make you drop him and a gunshot ran out behind you.

Viper’s grip relaxed and she slumped to the ground behind you.

“Daddy!” Geo shouted as he looked around your legs.

You spun around. Behind you, the hall was complete chaos. The lights were flashing red and white and there were some of Iron Legion rounding up the few guards that Viper had with her. Ari’s body was on the ground and one of the Legion seemed to be assessing it, while Viper's body lay at your feet.

Bucky hurried down the hall, shouldering his rifle. “I’m here,” Bucky said, scooping the boy up. “I’ve got you.”

Geo buried his face in Bucky’s neck and gradually the alarms calmed down and the lights settled. Bucky put his arm around you. “I’ve got you, darlin’,” he said.

“Oh god, Bucky,” you said, the emotions breaking as you started to tremble in his arms. “Take the baby.”

He took the infant from you and you held his elbow as another contraction hit. “Is this her?” He asked.

You shook your head. “No…” you said through gritted teeth. “But she’s coming.”

“Shit,” he cursed. “Come on. Let's get you somewhere safe.”

Geo pointed to a door and Bucky helped walk you to it, even as your body fought you moving at all. “I need one of you to guard,” Bucky barked at the Legion. One flew into place, standing at the door with its hands up and repulsors at the ready.

Bucky moved you inside and your knees buckled - like you’d been holding out until you had even one fragment of safety. Bucky kneeled down beside you, still juggling Geo on the baby. Geo was clinging to him like a koala and he hadn’t lifted his head from the spot in Bucky’s neck since he’d lifted the boy into place.

“Let me see,” Bucky said.

You got on your hands and knees and lifted the gown they’d put you in, spreading your legs until you were as comfortable as you could be. Bucky sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth. “Steve, you read me?” He said. “I’ve found them. And I’d suggest getting to us as quickly as you can if you wanna see your daughter born.”

// NEXT

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #stucky #steve rogers x bucky barnes #stucky x reader #steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes #captain america fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #pregnancy #until the end of the world

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otptings · 3 years

Text

Spa Day

✏︎Idols: Zhong Chenle & Park Jisung

✏︎Requested: yessss by my fav Heyyy ive just been feeling really lonely lately so could you just write something about jisung and chenle just wanting to cuddle and watch a movie with the reader cause it’s been a really stressful week so they just want a self care day with the reader like face masks and the reader makes them food her dad used to make her when she was little ( coxinha ) and they eat the food while watching a scary movie hopefully I’m not making you too busy haha thanks in advance

✏︎Genre: Fluff, Bestfriend!Chenji

✏︎Word Count: 1k+

✏︎Warnings: None

✏︎Synopsis: Your best friends deserve more credit then you give them, especially when they force you to take a well deserve spa day.

✏︎A/n: Cute shit, was mainly written without a script. Correction, attempted to write the script but ended up writing over half of it instead in one go. It's short but I really didn't want to overwhelm this fluff. It's really cute, and I love it so much, I just love Chenle and Jisung's friendship, so writing them extend that friendship was incredibly cute 🥺if you liked this please reblog, like, or donate to my Ko-Fi in my bio. If you liked this requests are open for NCT, SVT, Treasure, and Enhypen (few slots open).

“Why are you two always dragging me around?”

Jisung and Chenle ignored your whining as they forced you to sit on your couch. You were trying to work but the boys walked into your apartment - kinda regret giving them the emergency key - and dragged you away from your desk. Jisung saved your work but then proceeded to place your laptop on a shelf that only he could reach unassisted, sealing your fate of not being able to work.

“Don’t move.” Jisung ran off somewhere down the hall while Chenle watched you over, presumably to make sure you didn’t move.

“What if I want to?” Chenle only stared at you with dead eyes and you quickly smiled, ignoring the fact that you felt kinda threatened. “Nevermind.” Mumbling you grabbed one of your decorative pillows, playing with the tassels while Chenle sat on his phone.

“FOUND IT!” You both jumped at Jisung’s yelling, confusion setting in at what he could’ve found. Your question was answered two minutes later when Jisung turned the corner, three fluffy spa headbands in one hand and three of your paper face masks in the other, a bright smile on his face at his find.

“Why were you looking for them?” Chenle snatched your phone from your hand, placing it in his backpack before you were even able to complain. “Hey! Why do y’all keep taking my stuff?”

“We’re having a spa day.” You were sure you weren’t good at hiding your expression if the way Jisung’s face went red had anything to do with it. “You’ve been working a lot. We haven’t been able to hang out often.”

Your face softened at that realization. One look at Chenle and you saw that the feeling was mutual.

“We miss you. We’re idols with busy schedules, but you’ve been so occupied that we haven’t even been able to see you. You don’t join us on the game, join our face times, and you barely respond. Plus you look skinnier as if you haven’t been eating, and I know you haven’t been sleeping properly.” Guilt flooded you at Chenle’s concerned expression. You hadn’t realized they noticed your disappearance that badly, just assumed that since they were in the middle of a comeback it would be swept under the rug.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Now we’re here to take care of you.” You hadn't realized Jisung had crossed the room until he placed a hand on your shoulder. Sighing you nuzzled your cheek into his forearm.

“Thank you.” Chenle visibly grimaced at the sweetness, instead grabbing the masks from Jisung.

“Yea, yea. Let’s just get this over with.” It took ten minutes for the three of you to stop arguing over who got which masks - Jisung was determined to get the mask with the puppy on it, Chenle said he had Daegal so he deserved the puppy mask - and actually properly place them on the two. Chenle won the argument, much to Jisung’s displeasure so he got the puppy mask while Jisung was stuck with the panda mask. It didn’t matter because by the time all three of you had your masks on - you were graced with the bunny mask - you were giggling so hard at how funny you looked that they barely stayed on. Since none of you had your phones on you, you were doomed to just make fun of eachother until the masks dried and you had to peel them off of your face.

The doorbell rang as you threw the masks away. Jisung practically pushed you out of the way to answer it, “Go pick out a movie with Chenle.” Ignoring his strange behavior you decided to follow his advice, heading back to the living room and plopping down on the couch. To your surprise Chenle picked the movie you suggested, a movie that all three of you had watched on one too many occasions. It wasn’t until you were both on the couch, covered with one of your fluffy blankets that you realized Jisung still wasn’t back.

“What is he doing?” Chenle only shrugged, pausing the movie before nearly deafening you as he screamed for Jisung.

“Wait. You’re so impatient.” Jisung mumbled while he walked back into the living room, holding a tray covered with snacks. The center of the tray however held something you didn’t even know they were aware of.

“Where’d you get this?” As Jisung placed the tray on the coffee table you leaned closer, making sure that you were seeing it right. Coxinha. How did they even know about it? You’d mentioned it in passing months ago while talking about your dad when you were home sick. You didn’t even think that they’d remember it, but here they were, set up nicely on one of your plates.

“I found a place that makes them specially. Though you’d like them?”

“You’d talked about them before, and you’ve been so down lately so we ordered some.”

“Do you like them?” Glancing between the boys, both who looked nervous you couldn’t but burst into tears. If your heart wasn’t so filled with love for your best friend you would’ve laughed at their panicking, Chenle placing blame on Jisung, who struggled to pull out tissues to gently wipe away your tears.

“I love them.” Both of them let out a sigh, glad that they didn’t mess up the day specially meant for you.

“Why are you crying?” Chenle smacked Jisung, starting up another argument between them. Shaking your head you pulled both of them into a hug.

“I love you guys.” If you looked up at that moment, you would’ve seen the great, unmovable Chenle’s face go bright red as he was left speechless. Jisung was no better, but he was easy to fluster. Both of the boys awkwardly wrapped their arms around you until your cries were only sniffles. When you looked back up with swollen eyes, and tear tracks staining your cheeks both of them felt the same warmth fill their hearts, grateful that they were able to make you happy.

“Love you too.” Chenle halfheartedly muttered, before playfully pushing you away from him. The three of you spent the night curled up on the couch, watching cheesy comedy movies, and eating all of the snacks they brought. Your heart stayed full, warmth flooding your body as you thought of how grateful you were to have the most thoughtful best friends in your life.

#kpop fluff #kpop imagines #nct dream #Chenle #jisung #Zhong chenle #park jisung #best friend!idol

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levixreader · 3 years

Text

Levi x K-pop! Reader - It's not what it looks like - Chapter IV

Summary: Did he... Kiss you? Based on @cakeswashere KISS CAM prompt: x

Previous Chapter | Master List | Requests | Next Chapter | Chapter I

It's not what it looks like

《 Chapter IV》

It had been a long day at the office. This month had proven a little overwhelming, R.I.E, three months before, had bought a small marketing firm in order to integrate it into its ecosystem. Every month without fault there was some kind of miscommunication with them that resulted in some sort of internal problem. And who had to fix it? Him, it was always him. He would have stayed later at the office if he hadn’t made plans with you.

He looked down at the tickets in his hand; You’d gotten floor seats.

“Did you find her?”, Hange asked. He didn’t answer instead his eyes wandered around trying to locate you. There you were. Sitting, one leg hammering the floor, your face glued to your phone. He smirked, “There”, he said pointing his nose at you. “My Queen!”, Hange screamed waving ferociously. He saw your face detach from your phone, your eyes scanning for Hange’s voice. You couldn’t locate them, his smirk deepened as he scooting into the row, Hange trailing behind him.

When he reached you, he took a second to look at you. You were wearing a short thing that hiked up way too high up your thighs. His eyes lingered on your legs, they looked smooth. Without even thinking about it, he took off his leather jacket, throwing it brusquely on your lap. This visibly startled you, your eyes looking up to him riddled in confusion; your face half shaded by your cap. His expression was neutral. He looked good; his dress shirt looked a bit wrinkled, his sleeves rolled up. He probably came straight from the office. Of course, you knew that he had been dealing with a particularly tricky absorption. You smiled up at him, he didn’t correspond, simply stared. “My Queen, hello!”, greeted Hange, poking her head from behind Levi’s shoulder. He rolled his eyes and sat down.

You looked striking.

He wasn’t the only one who had noticed. It felt like the whole section around your little trio was pointing and taking pictures. Hange sat at your other side. He felt pleased, at least you wouldn’t be sitting next to a stranger. Sometimes you could be quite dense, like now, you were chatting away with Hange about some new singer, seemingly unaware of the lustful eyes around you.

He didn’t like it.

There was little he could do but glare when he felt the person too close to your seats. He sank into his chair, already feeling a bit riled up, being in the public eye was adding to his stress. He crossed his arms in front of his chest not really in the mood to engage in conversation. This didn’t seem to be a problem for you, too busy waving at nearby fans, smiling without a care in the world as people pointed and treated you like some kind of display. They could at least have the decency to leave you alone on your time off. Hange was no help, she was basking in the attention, poking you so that you would look across the court at gaping fans desperately trying to catch your eye. He was getting a little frustrated. Feeling a bit antsy, he took out his phone reading unnecessary emails. That would keep him distracted. Why did he come? This was far from a good idea.

He briefly looked at your lap, his jacket covering your lap. He couldn’t even begin to think the mess that would spur from that little act. Sure, the media now knew you were strictly just friends and that you actually went out together in a platonic way. But they hadn’t seen you in public, there were no pictures. Everything was just retellings of people who had seen you together like at the bar, the other day. He groaned quickly typing an email to PR.

Stop any stupid pictures from leaking.

It sounded threatening. “Serves them right”, he thought sending the short message. They had enough to prepare for what the media would do seeing you and him in public. He wasn’t completely delusional, he understood that not everything could be blocked but, this much they could and would do. After the hell that had been your little crowd diving, they needed to remind him why he paid them the exorbitant amounts of money they billed him monthly.

Contrary to what the media was spitting out, you and he weren’t all that different. There was a reason you were… friends. As had become painfully obvious, you both had a love for the same kind of food and wine, not to mention concertos. That first dinner, he had mentioned his favourite composer in passing, but you latched on to that for the rest of dinner. He hadn’t been able to talk to someone so thoroughly in a very long time. Perhaps that’s what made him venture into inviting you to a concerto. And boy was he glad he had. That had been the most pleasant of your surprises; that you shared so much in common with him. You even recommended a few modern composers that he had dismissed years before. And what’s worse? You had been right.

The one difference? He could never get used to how public you were. Even If the media didn’t publish any pictures of the two of you together, they always knew where and with who you were. Storied came a mile a minute with so many listed sources that he couldn’t possibly track them all down and shut them up. That had never happened to him. He was well known at best, but people barely knew who he was because he rarely showed his face. Recently, however, that had changed. He couldn’t go to his usual tea shop anymore without at least someone taking a picture of him. He knew why it was happening, but, if that was the price to have you close, he would gladly pay it.

He sighed, reclining further into his seat. He didn’t even like basketball, except, you had looked so proud holding the tickets. Your voice was so hopeful that he would come. He had stayed the afternoon watching videos to at least understand the game somewhat.

“Sorry”, you whispered at him. His eyes lazily looked at you, his face still facing forward. “For what?”, he asked a little taken aback. “I know you’re not exactly a fan”, you said apologetically. “Hmm”, he answered his eyes returning to watch the court. “I didn’t tell you this”, you said still whispering. The only indication that he was listening was his raised eyebrow, “but I also got us tickets for Yann Tiersen”, she said her voice dripping with excitement, “but I only managed to get two”, you explained further. Ahh, this is why.

Hange liked basketball. You didn’t want her to feel left out. “Then why am I here?”, he asked his voice deep and velvety. It made you feel as if butterflies had hatched in your stomach. “Well,” you said licking your lips, “I didn’t want to be the only one who didn’t understand what is going on”. He smiled, startling again the butterflies. He chuckled, covering his mouth with one of his hands. “Speak for yourself”, he answered playfully. “PASS THE BALL!”, Hange screamed, “PASS.IT”, she yelled. Both of you turned to watch her, frown in place, eyes glued at the court. You chuckled, his eyes now on you, he smiled. Perhaps basketball wasn’t that boring of a sport.

* * *

It had been a long fifteen minutes; too many noises, people hailing, complaining, everything had to be a scream. No matter how hard he tried to concentrate on the game, he kept getting distracted by your knees occasionally knocking into his. Every time without fault he would jolt to attention. You seemed to not notice at all; your attention fully on the game. This somewhat irritated him.

You were always like this, he knew you didn’t particularly enjoy basketball, in fact, he would bet his right leg that you didn’t even know any players besides LeBron James; but, like anything you did, you always got weirdly excited just immersed yourself in it despite your lack of interest. He had already seen you make your small hands into tiny fists and shaking them whenever the yellow team made a point. It was cute.

He sighed looking down at his phone, they were finally taking a break from the game and he could check on the emails that had already accumulated in the short period of time since he last checked. His thumb scrolled reading the latest proposal for budget from the marketing department; they were asking for, yet again, another increase in budget. He frowned, the overwhelming chatter around him dying down.

Something felt off.

He could feel the whole court staring his way. He turned to check on you. You were looking down at your lap fiddling with his jacket. You were nervous, his eyes narrowed. He could make out a pink tint colouring your cheeks. “Also embarrassed”, he noted. His eyes shifted to Hange, she was staring wide eyes mouth opened. His eyebrow rose in confusion. The fuck was going on.

“Well?!” Came a voice from behind him, “kiss her!”, the voice screamed.

He could have choked.

His eyes were fully alert, he twisted his body to turn to see who the fuck was talking. “The fuck?”, he asked annoyed. “Yeah! KISS HER!”, it was a woman this time. He quickly turned to see her. “KISS HER!”, yet another. “Kiss her!”, “kiss her!”, the crowd began to chant.

“It’s the kiss cam!”, mouthed Hange. He immediately relaxed. He looked up at the massive screens, sure enough. There was a heart-shaped filter focused on you and him, “kiss cam” scribbled at the bottom. Raising both hands and crossing them in an “x” shape at whoever was filming him. A chorus of boos echoed through the court. He sighed, crossing his arms in front of his chest and sinking into the chair again.

He looked up at the screens, a failed animation playing. He sighed, the camera turning to another couple. “Calm down, it left”, he whispered. You nodded, unable to speak; your cheeks still flushed. His eyes scanned over your figure, they glimmered with curiosity. Smirking, he returned his gaze back to his phone, “Good”, he thought.

* * *

Yet another break came.

Finally, half time.

He just needed to get through another two breaks.

As he had decided, he took out his phone yet again, reading the budgeting proposal; they were finally making some sense. It looked coherent and well structured, they hadn’t asked an exorbitant amount either.

“Levi”, he heard Hange call out. Unwillingly, he twisted to look at the woman. “Look!”, she mouthed pointing at the goliath of a screen. He groaned, there he was, frown displayed on TV with you next to him, “KISS CAM”, written in big bold purple letters. He could see you blushing even from the low-quality camera pointed at the both of you.

“Just do it”, Hange said making you flinch. His eyes narrowed at your response. “Common! Kiss her man!”, someone screamed. “Yeah, kiss the girl!!!”, “Kiss her!”, “Don’t be a pussy! Kiss!”.

The previous chant echoing throughout the court, “Kiss her! Kiss her!”.

You wanted the ground to swallow you whole, bones included, being rejected on national TV was pretty embarrassing. Did he not want to kiss you? Had this tension between the both of you simply been in your head? You wanted him to kiss you. You wanted him to want to kiss you.

“Fuck it”, you heard Levi whisper. Callous hands cupped your cheeks, softly guiding your head to face him. Steal grey eyes greeted you, his nose next to yours.

And then…

You felt it.

His lips came soft, barely gracing yours. The front of his bangs tickling lightly your cheeks. His eyes were half-lidded, avoiding your shocked irises. You couldn’t move. It had been so fleeting you that you could have missed it. You blinked, feeling the warmth leave your lips.

His face retreated from yours, his body returning casually to his seat.

You simply stared, too surprised to react.

Your stomach somersaulted, a faint ringing sound covering your ears; loud enough that you barely registered the crowed erupting in cheer and whistles.

His lips had been soft.

Your hand reached up to your lips, your fingertips touching gently your lower lip.

He kissed you.

Heat. Your cheeks coloured gently turning peach.

You didn’t say a word.

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winterscaptain · 4 years

Text

fear itself.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: part two of the 100 arc! this installment covers the events of faceless, nameless. i am living for the feedback! please keep it coming. i can’t wait to hear what you think as we go through this (very emotionally wrought) section.

words: 4.5k warnings: canon-typical violence, language, hospital setting

summary: four hours of sleep and aaron’s missing. what else could go wrong?

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | requests closed!

4:02am “Just got home, so I’m calling like you asked. Shoot me a text when you get back to the apartment, if you aren’t already asleep. Call me when you’re up and we can work on that Nebraska consult, maybe in the early afternoon? Goodnight. Sleep well.”

8:13am “Hey, it’s me. I know I’m not supposed to be worried about you, but we were called in a half hour ago and you’re still not here...so...give me a call when you get this. Bye.”

8:48am “Hey, it’s me, checking in again. You’re probably still asleep, but I’ve never known you to sleep more than seven hours...so if I don’t hear from you by eleven I’ll drag you out of bed myself.”

9:51am “We’re headed to the crime scene. Garcia’s sent you the address. I know JJ’s been calling you too, so just...I dunno? Call us back? Bye.”

10:20am “If you’re getting these and ignoring me, I hope you know you’re taking years off my life right now.”

11:08am “Um...Call me back. I’m starting to worry. Well...not starting. I’ve been worried. But I’m getting...really worried.”

11:37am “Aaron please call me and let me know you’re alright. You’re scaring me.”

+++

Needless to say, it’s been a weird day. Why you expected anything else after that wretched Canada case and four hours of sleep, you have no idea.

You had a horrible dream last night, on top of everything else. The image of Aaron broken and bleeding beside you hadn’t left your mind since it first appeared in Foyet’s kitchen. You tried to shake it off every time, but it was persistent.

We’ll worry about that later.

You check the time again, trying to ignore the weird feeling in your gut.

Where is he?

Your phone rings and your heart leaps. Guilt (and a little bit of embarrassment) pricks at you when you’re disappointed to see Emily’s name on your phone. You answer.

“You have to get down here.” Her voice isn’t frantic, per se, but the urgency is undeniable.

“What’s going on?”

She takes a breath. “I just got off the phone with Garcia - I have crime scene techs and SWAT on the way to Hotch’s apartment, and I need you here.”

All the blood in your body seems to rush into your head, and you lean heavily on the nearest object - the dining room table. “What?”

“I - I don’t know. All his stuff is here and there's -” She stutters for a second. “There’s blood on the carpet, broken glass, and a bullet hole in the wall by the kitchen. No Hotch.”

An eerie kind of calm washes over you, and you straighten, making eye contact with Derek. “Okay. Let me just -”

Derek gets a call, but keeps his eyes on you. “What’s goin’ on, Baby Girl?...What do you mean ‘Emily just called SWAT to Hotch’s apartment’ what -“

You break his gaze as he nods at you and turns to the rest of the team. “Emily, I’ll be right there. Don’t go anywhere.”

+++

You make it to the hospital with Emily. You flash your credentials and it gets you exactly where you want to go.

When you see him, your breath catches. He looks awful - drawn and small and wrapped in what seems like miles of gauze. Emily grabs your arm, but you’re not sure if it's for her benefit or yours.

This is, after all, your worst nightmare come to life. A little chill crawls up your spine. This whole thing has you feeling six different kinds of scared.

The nurse lets you into his room, telling you he’ll be out for another hour, at least. “He needs the rest.”

Emily leaves you to retrieve coffee. You take the opportunity to sit beside him and slide your hand under his, careful not to disturb the IV. Your hand shakes - whether from anxiety, fear, fury, or all of the above, you’re not sure.

“If you die, Aaron Hotchner, I’ll kill you.”

You hear a little laugh from the doorway and you pull your hand from him. Emily shakes her head, two cups of coffee in her hands. “You’re fine. I'm not going to tattle.”

You squint. “Tattle?”

She rolls her eyes. “You’re so clueless it’s almost cute, but he’s worse.” She throws her head toward Hotch with a fond smile, handing you your cup of coffee.

+++

The rest of the team arrives in a flurry a little while later, and the nurse has to warn them off as Aaron starts to wake.

They quiet down, surrounding his bedside. You haven’t moved, making it your mission to keep your eyes on him at all times.

His eyes flutter before closing again. “Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital,” you say, keeping your voice quiet and steady despite the tightness in your chest.

“How did I get here?”

Derek gets that one. “Foyet drove you.”

Aaron takes a breath. It’s shaky, and you imagine he’s in a lot of pain. Emily leans forward, looking for his eyes. “Can you remember what happened?”

He tells you, slowly, about how Foyet broke into the apartment, waited until he was home with his guard down, fired a shot, and then...He trails off. A heavy breath leaves him. “What did he take?”

You have an answer. “There was a page missing from your day planner, the Bs from the address section.”

He closes his eyes and his breath grows faster, his heart rate increasing. After a moment, he collects himself and asks Emily, “What did he leave?”

“I don’t know.”

“He also leaves something with his victims.”

Emily shakes her head. “I looked through your entire apartment. Nothing felt out of place.”

“Where are my clothes?”

“Right here.” You reach over, grabbing the bag and removing his bloody shirt with only the barest moment of hesitation. He reaches for the envelope of his personal effects and you press it into his hand, saving him the effort.

Tears prick at your eyes as you watch his hands shake, opening his wallet. He’s eerily quiet, and you catch a glimpse of a photo, tucked into the fold.

Haley and Jack. There’s blood on it. You recognize it from the desk in his home office space.

No.

Aaron’s come to the same conclusion, falling back on the pillows with a look you can only describe as defeated. It scares you. You swallow, pushing your tears back.

That’s the last thing he needs right now.

“Haley’s maiden name is Brooks. I always listed her in the Bs in my personal information in case it fell into the wrong hands.” Your hand, like JJ’s, has fallen over your mouth.

Oh.

Of course.

Of course, he keeps her under Brooks. All he wants to do is keep her safe.

You hope, one day, that someone will love you that much, will want to protect you with the same ferocity, will think of you before anything else.

You could only be so lucky.

He swallows and continues. “He knows where they live.”

Derek makes assignments. You’re to stay right where you are, while the rest focus on locating Haley and Jack.

When it’s just the two of you, he closes his eyes again. “I don’t know what I’m going to do if -”

“They’ll find her. They’ll find Jack. They’ll be safe.”

You have to believe it, too. They’re too important to you, to central to your life, now

He shakes his head, his eyes cracking open. “Why didn’t I just take the deal?” Clearing his throat, he continues, his voice a little stronger, but still rough. “He told me I should have. I never thought -” He cuts himself off.

You hand him a cup of water, and he takes it gratefully. Idly, you note he hasn’t looked you in the eye yet.

“Do you want an answer to your question?”

He doesn’t answer you, looking across the room.

You lean into his eye line. “You didn’t take the deal because you have the most integrity of anyone I’ve ever known. Anything he does is on him. It’s not on you.”

“But,” his voice breaks and the smallest of tears falls out of his eye. It tracks down his temple until you gently wipe it away with your thumb. “But I could have stopped all of this.”

“No,” you whisper. Your hand lingers on the side of his face. “No. He’ll be this way wherever he goes. The only way you change that is by catching him, Hotch.”

He finally looks at you, his brown eyes exhausted, hurting, and bloodshot. You card your fingers through the hair at his temple, putting the oxygen cannula back over his ear. Soon, he closes his eyes again, his vitals evening out as he falls asleep.

“We’ll get him, Aaron.”

A few tense minutes later, your phone buzzes in your pocket. When you see the caller ID, a shot of adrenaline zings around your body. “Haley?”

Your name is a sigh of relief in her mouth. “SWAT scared the hell out of me and I just - I don’t know.”

“Oh, Haley I’m so sorry. I should have gone over there with the team but -“ Derek knew my stress wouldn’t be useful.

“No, no. It’s fine. They’re getting Jack from a friend’s house, but they told me what’s going on. I’ll see you when I get to the hospital. I just -“ She laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “I just freaked out.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll see you soon.”

“I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

Your heart pulls. “I love you, too.”

She hangs up, and you stuff your phone back in your pocket.

Aaron wakes again when you pull a case file from your bag, but you’re not sure it’s your doing.

Shit.

He looks around a little frantically for a moment, still disoriented. You rise and cross the room, finding one of his hands.

“Hotch, it’s okay. You’re still in the hospital.”

“Haley?”

You nod. “They got her. She’s safe and she’s on her way with Jack.”

He finally relaxes, sinking back down into the pillows. “Thank you.”

You nod and resume your place on the other side of the room, patting the back of his hand as you let him go. He’s quiet, if not a little fidgety. You look at him for a minute. He takes a talking breath.

“After the first one, it kind of goes blank.” His breath is still a little unsteady, and you take your chair next to his bed again. “There were nine, apparently.”

Your breath catches. It’s not new information, but it’s still raw, sharp-edged.

Awful.

He swallows. “He taunted me.” His eyes beg you to understand, to keep him from flying off the rails.

“He’s a bastard, Aaron.”

He levels you with a withering stare. No shit.

“I know you know that, but it’s worth repeating.”

“I don’t want -“

You interrupt him, knowing exactly where he’s going. “You’re not going to become a victim. You aren’t a victim.”

“I don’t want Haley to -“

You press a hand to his arm, mindful of his bandages. “One day at a time. They’re safe today.”

His lip quivers and his voice leaves him in a whisper. “That’s not good enough.”

+++

Eventually, Haley arrives looking a little worse for wear.

Her haircut’s really cute.

The thought almost makes you laugh.

Of all the things to notice...

You startle a little as you remember where you are and rise, ready to give them space. She waves you off, giving you permission to stay.

“How do you feel?” She asks.

Aaron sits up a little more, not without effort, and says, “I’m gonna be okay.”

That’s not what she asked, stupid.

He continues. “Did they explain to you what’s happening?”

She nods. “They said the marshal's service is taking us straight from here and putting us into protective custody.” Her eyes meet yours, and you dip your chin. She’s right.

Aaron apologizes to Haley for the first of what you imagine will be many times.

Her lower lip disappears between her teeth. “Do you know where they’re gonna take us?”

“No,” you answer. “We don’t. And that’s the point.”

“I can’t know where you’re going,” Aaron adds. “If you have any contact with anyone, he can track you.”

That shocks her a little, and you can see she’s getting upset. “Jack has school. He has friends. I have a job now. I have -” She cuts herself off.

“I know.” He levels a steady, solemn gaze upon her. “And I’m sorry. We will catch him and you’ll come back.”

She looks at you again. “Are you sure we’re in danger?”

You nod, almost imperceptibly, and Hotch answers. “Yes.”

“And what about you? Are you gonna be safe?”

There it is.

She does love him.

You knew that, of course. Seeing them together during visits at home or out to dinner or otherwise in the presence of that other, that was never in question.

Your heart tugs.

Twenty-five years...

“He wants to see me suffer. Knowing that my son is out there and that I can’t see him is better than killing me.”

Haley wets her lips and swallows.

That’s her tell.

You figure she’ll burst into tears pretty soon. It was only a matter of time, and you don’t blame her in the least. You’ve had tears threatening you all afternoon, and this wasn’t even happening to you.

“Jack wants to see you.”

Aaron’s jaw gets a little tight. “I want to see him, too. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

You hear what he can’t say, too. I don’t want to scare him. I don’t want him to see me like this.

“Look,” she says, exasperated. “I know you’re trying to protect him, but you both need this. Please.”

He nods, resigned. “Okay.”

Haley looks over and offers you a shaky smile, trying to break the tension. “He also asked me if you’d be here. He’ll be thrilled.”

That almost does you in. “So will I,” you tell her, meaning every syllable.

With another brisk nod and wipe of her face, she leaves the room to retrieve Jack. Aaron sits up a little straighter and you help him. He tries to suppress his wince, but fails.

“Do you need another round?”

He shakes his head. “I’ll be fine.”

“Just let me know.” You settle back into the corner, the case file in your lap.

Haley and Jack return, and she brings him to Aaron’s side, lifting him up onto the bed.

Aaron meets his eyes and tells him that he’s okay, giving him a little preparing for what’s about to happen. “But, what do I tell you whenever I go away?”

“That you love me.”

You hide your face, looking out the window as tears finally fall from your eyes. Haley’s eyes are on you and you know it. You wipe at your face and take a quiet breath before turning back, pretending to pay attention to the case in your lap.

In your periphery, you can see Aaron looking over Jack’s face as if to memorize it, as if he doesn’t already know every plane, every curve, every angle of his son’s face. “More than anything in the world.”

They exchange a few more words before he brings him close and kisses his forehead. You glance up, and they look so alike in their profiles it almost makes you smile. Haley’s crying, too, and she meets your eyes.

Something passes between you, but you don’t have a name for it.

You don’t need one.

Haley takes a breath and tucks her hair behind her ears. She redirects Jack’s attention to you, and his eyes light up. She helps him scramble off the bed and he books it around the bed to you.

You close the case file and open your arms to him. “Hi, bud.” It’s hard not to scare him with the feverish way you hold him close, your fingers wound in his hair.

There’s a failed attempt to avoid thinking about the uncertainty of the future, when you’ll see him again.

If ever.

Stop.

The pair of you lean back for a minute, and you brush his hair away from his forehead.

“Are you going away, too?” He asks.

You shake your head. “I’m gonna stay here with your dad.”

“Are you going to keep my dad safe? I’m going to keep Mom safe.”

It’s Aaron who looks away this time.

“Of course, my love.” You offer him something you hope looks like a smile. “We always keep each other safe. We’re a team, like you and your momma. I’m so proud of you.” You check in with Haley, who’s looking away, the back of her hand swiping at her cheek. When she turns back to you, you tilt your head a little.

Want a minute?

She nods.

You stand, Jack still tucked against your chest. “I think,” you say, as he sits back in your arms, “Miss Emily and Miss JJ are back and might have something fun for you over there.” You tip your head toward the waiting room. “Wanna go see?”

He nods, leaning back into you and playing with your collar. You pat Aaron’s knee and squeeze Haley’s shoulder with your free hand as you pass.

Aaron watches you go, your low murmuring comforts to Jack lost in the ambient hospital noise. When you find JJ and look back, giving him a small (if not a little watery) smile, he looks over at Haley, guilt closing up his throat.

“I’m so sorry, Haley. I promise, when this is all over, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

She gives him a half-smile and sits on the edge of his bed. She reaches for him, and he takes both of her hands in his. There’s silence for a moment as they sit together. She studies him.

While it doesn’t bother him (she has been looking at him for nearly twenty-five years, after all), he does feel more exposed under her gaze than he’s used to.

“You should do something about that, one of these days,” she says, looking over her shoulder. You’re still visible in the window, talking to JJ while Jack is still glued to you. His little arms are tight around your neck, his head tucked under your chin.

Aaron’s brow furrows, but the EKG picks up the increase in his heart rate, much to his embarrassment. “What are you talking about?”

Haley laughs, a light, watery, delicate thing, and turns back to him. It almost brings a smile to his face. “Do you think I don’t know what you look like when you’re head over heels, Aaron Hotchner? After eighteen years of marriage and twenty-five years knowing you? Give me a break.”

His jaw grows tight, but he holds her gaze.

“You used to look at me like that, you know.” A little smile plays at her lips and she looks down, almost shy. “Still do, sometimes.”

“I love you, Haley.”

She squeezes his hand. “I know you do.” A sigh leaves her and she looks over her shoulder again, just catching a glimpse of you and JJ out in the hall with Jack as you go scavenging for something sweet. There’s a little smile at the corner of her mouth when she turns back to him. “You are so loved, Aaron.”

“I don't…” He huffs, frustrated. “I don’t feel -”

“I’m not saying you have to do anything, but it might do you some good to just…” She sighs, throwing a hand up in a kind of searching gesture. “I don’t know, be honest with yourself. Think for a minute.”

His teeth worry the inside of his lower lip as he thinks about it. He does care about you. But love?

He thinks of the way his chest feels too small whenever you laugh, the way he always goes above and beyond to make sure you’re safe in the field, how he looks for you when you’re out of the room, how he looks for you when you’re in the room.

The way you are with Jack brings him to his knees every time. The sound of his son’s laughter under your tickling fingers never fails to bring a smile to his face.

You’ve helped him heal what seemed like an insurmountable chasm between him and Haley, and though it’s not perfect, it’s better than it would ever be without you.

You always take a second to straighten his tie and ensure his suit jacket lays flat across his shoulders before leaving the plane, just like he always takes time to count the rounds in your magazines or tuck your tag back into your shirt collar.

He always feels so warm under your fond and attentive touch. With a little bit of alarm, he hopes you feel the same under his. Safe. Cared-for.

Loved.

Oh.

Oh no.

He knows the realization is clear on his face when Haley laughs again, surprising them both. She swipes at her eyes again, clearing any remaining tears. “You know, I can’t say I’m surprised you didn’t know, but it’s still funny, even with all this.” She shakes her head. “You haven’t changed much, have you?”

His face breaks out into a little smile as he looks back at her. “Oh, quit.”

“I’ll never quit giving you hell, as long as we live.” Haley reaches out, pushing gently against his shoulder. He takes the shove like a champ, even through the ache in his chest and abdomen, thankful she’s not treating him like he’s made of glass.

“Don’t I know it.”

They look at each other for a minute before Aaron sobers, the mirth evaporating between them. He already misses her. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for all of this. I’m hoping it’ll be...temporary.”

“I do have a life, Aaron. And Jack…” She sighs and her eyes fill with tears again.

“I know. I’m sorry. I wish there was another way to keep you safe, but -” He cuts himself off, knowing there’s nothing he can say.

She swallows again. She already misses him. “How am I supposed to keep him safe when there’s nobody I know to help me?”

He sighs, but speaks with conviction. “Haley, you’re strong. You lived with me in this job and you’ve practically raised Jack all by yourself. You’re a great mother.”

Haley’s actively crying now, trying to stem the tears with her fingers. It’s not working. After a moment, she collects herself. “Can you catch this man?”

“I will catch this man.”

+++

When she leaves Aaron’s room, you bring Jack to her. You take a moment to lightly fuss over them both.

Her blue eyes find yours. “Take care of him, please?”

You nod. “I will.”

“He needs you.”

She says it with a simple kind of conviction that makes your chest pull. You put a hand on her shoulder, trying to communicate everything you can’t say into your touch. “He needs you more.”

“No, he doesn’t.” Her lips twist in an odd sort of smile and she wraps you in a hug and kisses your cheek. “I’ll see you soon.”

You hold her tight, Jack trapped (and whining a little) between you. “See you soon, Hales.” You pull back, looking deeply into her eyes. “We’ll get him.”

The U.S. Marshals arrive, and you have to let go of each other. You press a kiss to Jack’s forehead and tell him you love him one more time, and wait until they’re in the car and out of sight before you break down.

You don’t know where he came from, but Derek wraps around you, catching you before your knees hit the ground. You don't know what you’re crying about, really.

It could be the overwhelming task of catching Foyet.

It could be Hotch in the room down the hall with nine stab wounds to his chest and abdomen.

It could be the indefinite absence of your dear friend and her son - a boy you love more than anyone except maybe -

Nope. Don’t go there. Not now.

Sobs wrack your chest, and your head hurts and your throat is sore by the time your body lets you breathe.

Derek’s there the whole time, rubbing your back and keeping your face hidden in the crook of his neck and shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay, kiddo. It’ll be okay. He’s okay. We’re gonna catch this son of a bitch.”

“It’s just so much, Derek.”

He sighs. “I know. I know.”

+++

“Did you hear what happened this morning?”

You’re woken by Dave’s voice, coming from the doorway. Cramped and crunched into the corner of an uncomfortable chair, you stretch and what feels like every joint in your body cracks.

“No.”

When did Aaron wake up?

You look over at him and he glances at you before returning to Dave, who’s leaning on the door frame.

“We had a situation. Unsub had already killed two people. Said he was gonna keep killing unless a man used his son as bait.”

“What happened?”

Good question.

Belatedly, you realize you’ve neglected your case duties all day in favor of holding vigil over Aaron’s bedside. The weirdest part about it? The rest of the team let you.

Why?

“We kept the boy safe. Worked the profile. It was a happy ending.”

That’s good, at least. One fucking happy ending today.

It’s like Dave’s reading your mind as he asks Aaron, “Do you know why I’m telling you this?”

“Yes.” Aaron’s gaze is impassive, but there are universes behind his eyes.

“No other group in the world could have pulled off what yours did in a matter of hours.” Dave checks in with you, and the corner of your mouth lifts.

Sorry.

He shakes his head just a little. No sweat, kid. You did your job.

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Dave, but -”

Dave cuts him off. “We’ll get Foyet.”

“I promised Haley I would get him. But the truth is, if he stops killing we have no way of tracking him. He stopped killing for ten years just for the pleasure of watching Shaunessy’s life fall apart.”

He’s crying again, and your heart breaks. You’re surprised Dave can’t hear it crack all the way across the room.

“What’s Jack going to remember about me in ten years?”

No.

“Hotch, look at me.” You rise from your chair and sit on the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb his position. He turns his head just so, his brown eyes locking onto yours. “We’ll get him. We will get him.”

We have to.

+++

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