#i was told i gif hyunjin too much so here i am with a hyunjin set ! you're welcome 👍

[hyunsung]

HYUNJIN x YAYAYA; 220628 credit.

#stray kids #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #bystay #staysource #staycompany #jypartists #mine.gif #skz.gif #hyunjin.gif #i was told i gif hyunjin too much so here i am with a hyunjin set ! you're welcome 👍 #happy pride to 4thgif!hyunjin #anyways what is this set??? #also not yayaya again...

[maximumkillshot]

I Can't Lose You- Part 7

Warnings: Descriptions of Grief, PTSD Flashback, Intense Grief, Mentions of Miscarriage, Pissed off Lee Know, Anxiety, Panic, Everyone is hurting but you knew this... right?

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader

Characters: Stray Kids, Reader, Nurse, Soo?

A/N: Okay her we are with part 7 the song that I linked is what I had on repeat for part 6 &7 for the most part... I am so sorry and as always I'll be around for therapy after. If you really wanna cry, listen to what I listened to while writing this about 98% of the time, Can You Hold Me by NF and Britt Nicole.

I Can't Lose you Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

BEFORE: His body went into overdrive, the shock melting into panic. He wasn’t going to let Death take you, “Han hurry up, she's slipping!” He screamed at the door. His scream didn’t sound like him. The sound akin to a bystander watching a loved one jump from a bridge. Watching the body disappear all because of one step. He couldn’t wouldn’t let you fall. He screamed as if he dove for your hand, the same hand that fits so perfectly in his, as you threatened to disappear over the ledge of that bridge. Bin got closer to your ear, so you could hear him better, “Please don’t say that. I know it hurts, just stay with me, hold on. I’m here. Stay with me. You can’t leave me here, please.” Changbin tilted your head, so you could hear his heartbeat. Subconsciously thinking, If you go I go. He gently wrapped his arm across your breastbone, trying to provide some soothing pressure to your chest. His hand resting on your opposite arm, rubbing the meat of it in a soothing pattern. His other hand was petting your hair. The hold he had you in gave you someone to hold on to. As soon as his forearm rested you wrapped your hands around it, grabbing his hand as you dangled on the ledge. “Binnie it hurts, pleaseee. Help me, it hurtss.” You sobbed, your voice cracking and breaking, a mirror of your soul. Bin continued to slowly rock you, “I know Angel, I know I want to take it away. Just hold on for me. Hold on to me.” He had no idea how he was able to be calm for you. A part of him knew that he needed to. He was not going to collapse so you could face all of this on your own. He refused. He needed to fight for you, and he would, for eternity if he had to.

NOW:

The boys were trying their hardest to be calm, but some just couldn’t handle it. I.N. and Felix being the two that were physically holding their heads, crouched in the fetal position, trying to cover their ears as they heard your screams in the hallway.

Hyunjin went over to them and picked them up, their forms curling into him as they cried. Hyunjin couldn’t pinpoint why your screams sounded so unhuman, subconsciously trying to find a way to help. Once reality set in he realized, none of them had ever heard the scream of a mother who lost their child… not until today. That made chills go up his spine as goosebumps riddled his skin. That was why it sounded so unhuman. His mother once told him, “Children are supposed to bury their parents, not the other way around.” He found himself repeating those words out loud as tears fell down his face. He never thought he’d understand those words, but now that he does, he was numb, numb with pain.

I.N.’s heart was breaking for you as he heard you calling out to no one, asking for the impossible. He was trying to be strong but hearing you in so much pain was too much. “I want to help her Hyung but I don’t know how.” That broke Hyunjin even more because he couldn’t do anything. No one could. 

Hyunjin rubbed his back saying,“We can only be here for her, Innah. We need to be here, make sure she knows we aren’t going anywhere. That’s all we can do. I wish we could do more, but we can’t.”

Felix was crying because the only thing that could happen was him hearing the screams of a person that he loves, a best friend he considers as his sister, while he can’t do anything at all. The frustration combined with the sadness sliced through him.

Seungmin was the one member whom no one expected to cry yet there he was,  crying. No one in the entire group knew he was one of the most hurt. His reactions to everything were visceral. If he wasn’t using the railing lining the hall, he was certain his legs would give out. He faced the wall sobbing, feeling the cold wall on his forehead. He didn’t care that he was in a hallway in a hospital full of nursing staff and strangers. He had been holding all of it in for weeks now… 

It all started about two months ago. When Seungmin had come over to the 3Racha house, he noticed some things. He was making some lunch while he waited for the others to come back from the gym. The minute he opened the kimchi, you ran to vomit. That coupled with the fact that you looked like you were glowing raised his suspicion. When you came back to the kitchen he said, “When was the last time you took a pregnancy test?”

You cocked your head to the side quizzicaly as he giggled, “I’m 99.9% sure that you’re pregnant. Pee on a stick just to be sure but… Yeah, congrats. I’m going to throw away everything that smells like kimchi while you check.”

He was there for all of it. Everything from staring at the test with you waiting for the verdict. He spun you around congratulating you. He helped hide the evidence. Helped plan, he was even there when you got the ultrasound, filming it for Chan so he didn’t feel like he was left out. In many ways Seungmin had a better tie to that child than anyone else aside from you. He imagined everything with you.

Ever since he saw I.N. storm out to kill Chan… he checked out emotionally. He couldn’t handle the pain. He couldn’t ignore it anymore when he heard your screams. He thought of all the names you’d send him to see if they’d sound good. If it was a boy, you were incessant on Seungmin. You wanted to name the baby after him because he had “noticed first.” But he got you to change it to Chanseung, meaning “lingering victory”. This whole time...Every scream you let loose he heard the baby’s heartbeat as the memories flashed in and out of his mind. 

He remembered the times when he would come over just to clear the kitchen of anything that’d trigger your gag reflex. His Hyungs would get pissed at him because they even labeled the items with "do not touch”, but somehow, mysteriously, Seungmin didn’t see it and ate it all… whoops. He even got up at whatever time you called to pick up whatever you were craving. Another was when you went out for a walk with him and you were telling him about all of the new things you were noticing about your body. 

But his favorites were whenever you and himself would be alone in the kitchen or on the couch while everyone was distracted he’d look down at your belly, he would glance around and go to your ear just to say “They have no clue… That there’s 10 people in this house.” He’d do that just to see you try to suppress the smile on your face. 

 He even had dreams of going to the hospital to meet the baby. The dream always started with the phone call. Changbin would be on the other line as he picked up, “the baby’s coming, they’re already at the hospital, see you there.” Then the dream would jump to Chris walking out, “Congratulations everyone, you have a beautiful and healthy nephew. Once Y/N is cleaned up, you guys can come back to meet Chanseung.” In every single one of those dreams Seungmin would cry happy tears. When he’d be taken back, he was met with the cutest bundle, eyes like yours, a head full of curly hair like Chan’s. Chan would hand the baby to Seungmin and Changbin would say “what about me?” And you’d say, “godparents always hold the baby first.” Seungmin would look around shocked as more tears fell from his eyes, he would look at you and say “really? Me?” You’d look at him nodding with tears of your own, “How could it be anyone else, you took such good care of us, Minnie. You’d do anything for him. Your the one I trust the most with him.” He looked down to the baby and whispered “Hello Chanseung, I’ve been waiting for so long to meet you. My name's Seungmin, I’m your godfather.” He cuddled with the baby as he cried tears of joy, nothing but love and gratitude in his heart. Now that’s all they’ll ever be… Just dreams.

While everyone else was mourning as a friend, a brother, an Uncle, he mourned like a father. He felt like he lost a child. It destroyed him, ripping him apart inside, making him reflexively grab his chest, the air abundant but still suffocating, leaving him no other choice but for his chest to collapse inward as the sobs escaped.

Minho noticed that your screams didn’t sound human, closer to a wounded animal.  Minho looked at Chan’s face as you screamed for your baby. He could see that Chan was sad, but it didn’t seem like he was truly grasping it. It was only when Chan’s phone lit up, that Minho’s patience snapped. He saw the name “Soo BFF Y/N” light up the screen, and before Chan could do anything about it, he snatched the phone. Minho grabbed Chris by the back of his neck, his nails digging into the meat of it. Minho spoke with a lethal air as he spat, “Waiting room… NOW.” 

They ducked into the waiting room down the hall. The rest of the boys followed suit, locking the door to the room as Minho answered the call and said nothing. 

“Hey Baby, you haven’t been picking up, is everything okay? What happened after I left?” Her voice rang through the waiting room. 

Minho looked to Chris, and nodded to the phone, Chris responded, “No. Everything isn’t okay. Y/N was pregnant.”

There was a beat or two and she said, “Was?” Then she said, “As in not currently? I guess that is a good thing right? Considering you were going to divorce her for me anyway. A baby would’ve made it messy, no?”

Everyone’s jaws dropped. Some looking for confirmation, that they indeed heard what they did. 

Chris looked at the phone like it had offended him his jaw slack, “what the fuck did you say to me?!” His face showed more emotion than hearing his wife’s soul being torn to shreds about losing the baby, “My child is dead and your response is ‘at least it’s less messy now?!’ How fucking heartless are you?” he asked.

Minho couldn’t believe what he was hearing and seeing out of Chris. He just heard his wife scream that she wants to die, that she wants to no longer exist because his child is dead. Yet the thing that gets him offended, have any reaction at all was his sidepiece saying something. Taking the first opportunity to skirt over how this all even happened. Minho wasn’t going to let him get away that easily, he spoke up, “You really are a fucking coward, huh, Chris? You won’t even tell her how all of this happened?”

Chris just bowed his head as Minho continued, “She miscarried from the shock and trauma of seeing you and her husband fucking right in front of her on their 3rd anniversary. YOU and Chris killed that child,” Minho seethed into the phone. “You want to hear what is happening to your so-called best friend? What you call, less messy?”

Minho took the phone off of the speaker and stormed down the hall. His heart was hammering in his chest, hearing of what she said playing in his head on repeat. His pain clouded his generous nature. For once, Minho doesn’t want to protect someone. He wanted Soo to feel the pain that you feel. He wants her to hear your screams. To hear your soul fracturing, hear the blood as it falls from the stab wound in your heart. That knife that no one can take out. That permanent piercing is now festering. The piercing that she and Chan personally put into one of the nicest people he’s ever met. He wants her to hurt. Just the thought of hearing Soo cry, made him smile. He wants her to suffer, truly suffer, just like he wants Chan to suffer. A part of him hates that this is what he wants but the rest of him knows, this is justified. A righteous anger. A human reaction. Which Soo cannot be. 

Minho stopped outside of the room and held the phone out for Soo to hear your screams. He could somewhat hear Soo gasping at what was happening. Minho turned on the video to show her what little he could see from the door, which was your form rocking with Bin gently holding you, trying to calm you. “Hold on to me and breathe for me,” He heard Bin talking to you, trying to get you to fight.

“Binnie, please, my baby.” Minho heard your voice trembling, seeing you clutch on to Bin’s forearm. Your voice was worse than haunting, Minho could hear you trying to will your baby back.

“All you need to do is breathe and hold on to me. I’ve got you, I’m here.”

“I can’t Binnie I can’t I need my baby! Pleassee help me!” Your voice nearly gone from all of the screaming taking place. 

It filled Minho with rage. The person on the phone caused this, along with your husband. Here Bin was, trying to will you to stay, to hold on to him, not anyone else. That made Minho feel better, if anyone could put you back together, make you want to stay, it’s Bin.

 After being there for a minute or two Han barreled by him, all Minho did was flash the phone at him and point to the waiting room and Han nodded. He was telling him that when he was done making sure you were okay, for him to come to the room they were currently occupying with no words. 

The minute Minho went back to the waiting room, he turned the speaker on to hear Soo. There was no response, only fast breathing and sniffling.

Minho tried to be quiet as he said, “Did that sound clean to you, Soo? Did that look less messy? She almost died last night, almost bled out from a hemorrhage that you both caused. She just screamed that she just wanted to die already. So tell me, what part about any of this screams a clean break?!”

Soo was silent for a moment and she said, “I never meant to hurt her, Minho.”

Minho’s blood boiled as he said, “People don’t get into cars with the goal of causing an accident and killing someone, but it happens all the same. I am so happy that you called, actually. I wanted to say this to your face but this’ll have to do. I couldn’t do this last night because I’m a decent person who was worried about one of my best friends... But now that she is being helped I can tell you. You are a sad excuse of a human being, I truly mean that. It takes a certain level of desperation to take your best friend’s sloppy seconds. Even more desperate to actually believe that he’d leave Y/N for your sorry waste of an existence. ” 

Chan prickled at that, cocking his head, “As a matter of fact, the sloppy seconds is glaring at me while I say this and I don’t fucking care, as soon as I am done with you on the phone I’ll deal with him. You both destroyed someone very close to my heart. A person who has done nothing to either of you and yet you do this.”

Han walks in as Minho is grilling Soo, he whispers something to Felix and Felix goes out of the room. Minho continued, “As if what you did wasn’t enough you have the audacity to say that it was a good thing that Y/N miscarried because it would make the divorce less messy.”

Han’s eyes bulged out of his head at hearing that. No wonder why Minho wanted him here. Han felt rage at those words. Calling the death of a child that was wanted, a good thing? Minho’s lip was tight as he calmly finished his say, “I hope you know what you’re wishing for when you say you want him to yourself. If he did this to his own wife, imagine what he’d do to you… A nothing, a speck compared to Y/N. I hope you can live with yourself, but at least you’re breathing, something Y/N’s child never even got to experience because of you and Chris. I hope you rot and I hope it’s painful. Above all else, I hope that you pay in full for what you’ve done.” 

Minho looked around, “Anyone want to talk to IT?” he punctuated “it” as he stared at Chris, daring him to say something. Everyone was silent and he said, “I would say it’s been a pleasure speaking to you, but that would be a lie; the only pleasure I’ll ever have is seeing you suffer.” With that, he hung up and walked to Chan, shoving the phone into his chest.

Minho stared at Chan, “Now it’s your turn… What are you doing here? Were we not clear enough for you?! What part of ‘stay away’ did you not get? Or are you that fucking stupid. She was making progress, she was sleeping and you had to come in, didn’t you.” His eyes burned into Chris.

“I just wanted to see her.” Chris said.

Minho got tunnel vision as he bore into Chan,“I… I … I.. That is all that exists for you, huh? It’s all about you. What you want, when you want, who you want, where you want. YOU wanted to see her, you didn’t even think about her wellbeing did you?! Of course you didn’t! That’s why you came in here and played the husband card over and over again. You are nothing to her. NOTHING! It baffles me how Changbin isn’t even married to her yet he’s a better husband than you will ever be!” Minho’s body betrayed him as he started to shake, “YOU DIDN’T JUST KILL YOUR CHILD… YOU KILLED WHO WE THOUGHT YOU WERE. YOU KILLED EACH ONE OF US! MOST OF ALL YOU KILLED Y/N. THE FUN LOVING, HOPEFUL Y/N  IS DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU! That alone is something I will never forgive you for.” 

“I’m going to give you one chance to walk out of here willingly. If you don’t, I will tell the boys to go back to the room. Then I am going to lock you in here with me, and believe me when I say you won’t like what happens next. When I’m done with you, I’ll go right back to Y/N and act like nothing happened.”

His tone was too calm, too monotone, the sound sending chills down Han’s spine.

The pain that Minho is in is something that he never shows anyone. He doesn’t like to be vulnerable. He couldn’t help but look at Chris’ wedding ring and think that he should’ve done something, anything to stop him from marrying you. He told himself that it wasn’t his relationship. He even asked Changbin if he was actually going to let this happen. Changbin just looked at him and said, “Does it kill me? Yes. Do I want to be the groom instead of the groomsman? Absolutely. But she’s happy. What I want is nothing compared to seeing her happy.” Just that singular memory gave him enough fuel to do what he had to do. He made a promise to himself in that moment, he will never let Chris close enough to be able to hurt you again. 

Chris didn’t make a move, Minho could see that he was shocked. Which only fueled his rage.

Han had to cut in, “Minho… she’s asking for you.” Minho's heart twisted again as he loomed over Chris.

Minho sucked his teeth, “Even after nearly killing her, killing her child, ruining her life… Even now she’s still saving you without even knowing it. You have your chance, if I were you, I’d take it.” Minho stormed out of the room.

With that, Han looked at the rest of the boys, “Make sure he leaves, he’s already banned from the room. You are all welcome to come back up since it was clear who caused her to spiral. She wants you all as well. She’s scared we’re worried or that we’ll leave her.”

Hyunjin looked at Han and said, “We’ll be there. Go to her.”

As soon as Han left the room he saw Minho duck into your room. 

When Minho came in he heard you saying, “Where’s MinMin? I don’t know what happened, m’scared Binnie, where's MinMin and Hannie? Lixie did they leave me?” Minho knew that whenever you were scared, you started using pet names. They felt safe to you. With your MinMin, Binnie, Lixie, and Hannie around, you'd be safe. Your voice is low and quivering, fear and panic clear. It's ripping him apart, reminding him almost of a child. A child trying to not let on how scared they are. You were a lot like a child in that way, you were so hurt you didn’t know who to trust, but the minute you see people you are sure won’t hurt you, you start asking for the others, knowing you can trust them to say the truth. You also reminded Minho of someone trying to cry silently, the quake in your voice giving you away.

From Minho’s view, all that could be seen is Changbin, grabbing his sweatshirt and putting it on, hood up. It was your favorite hoodie that Binnie wears, full of different stitches and felt like a cloud. He made fleeting eye contact with Minho. Just in those few seconds he could see Bin’s eyes trying to focus on not collapsing, yet trying to get Minho to understand. Minho could only imagine that what happened minutes ago was something that he had seen last night. Since Bin knew to call out to Han to get the nurses. It made his heart twist yet again, he knows that Bin isn’t used to caring for people. But you aren’t just people. You are more than that, you always have been more than that. That’s why it’s second nature to him.

“Binnie I’m scared what happened, where are my boys? Did I do something wrong, did I scare them? Will you leave too?” You asked through sniffles. Minho could see the effect those words had on Bin as he pulled the hoodie back, he spared one last gaze and flitted it towards the bed as if to say, watch me. If you can’t do what I’m about to do, don’t come in. Then he changed his face completely before turning to you and walking out of Minho’s field of vision. That killed Minho too. How Bin knew instinctually to change his face, his gaze softening. 

“What happened isn’t something you need to worry about. You didn’t do anything wrong and the boys aren’t scared. I’m not going anywhere, see I was just putting my hoodie on, its your favorite. You don’t need to be afraid. I’m here. So is Lixie.” Bin’s voice was soothing, calm, steady, eventhough Minho identified the cracks in his foundation with only two seconds looking into his eyes.

Felix added as he tried to calm you saying, “We aren’t going anywhere okay? We are just making sure you’re going to be comfortable. MinMin’s coming and so is Hannie, Okay?”

Minho put on a smile, “I’m here”, hiding his pain for now. Your eyes were darting as you looked at him. Tearstains still painting your cheeks, fresh ones about to fall. You looked so dazed and confused as you looked around the room like you haven't been in it before. 

You smiled at Minho, “MinMin…” more tears fell as you gaze fell on Minho’s eyes, “You didn’t leave? Binnie, Lixie, and Hannie said so but… m’scared… I don’t remember what happened,” 

Minho wanted to curl you into a ball and shelter you, make sure no one could sneak up on you, that Chris couldn’t get his hands on you again, spew more poison all over this healing space, your personal space. He wanted to tuck you in and stand watch, everything in him drove him to shield and protect you. He couldn’t show that though. He couldn’t call attention to what just happened. It could upset the balance that you are in. Instead he decided on another approach.

“Binnie was right, Beautiful. What happened isn’t important right now. What matters is that we are here with you, we’re going to keep you safe, okay?” Minho reached out and dried your tears with the sleeve of his shirt. 

The nurse was just finishing giving you medicine, “What’d they give you? Something good?” Minho smiled warmly. He looked to the nurse who said, “Yes, she’ll be able to sleep no doubt. We’re also giving her medicine every six hours for the anxiety,” she smiled. That made Minho smile wide. He couldn’t help but be relieved for you. You are finally getting the medicine you need. 

Minho looked at her and said, “Thank you so much, for taking care of her and coming so quickly.” 

She just nodded and turned the lights off. 

You yawned and started tearing up a little as you reached for Bin, “Don’t leave, Binnie…Lixie.” Felix was right at your hand as he said, “M’right here, it’s going to be okay. MinMin, Bin, all of us are here to make sure you’ll be okay.” Felix could see your shoulders slowly drooping as the medicine hit you. It was clear that the medicine was making you sleepy. That made everyone smile. You have had nothing but panic, havoc, and destruction. You deserved rest.

You looked at Minho and said, “I’m tired but I want my boys. You’ll wake me when they come back MinMin?” 

Minho nodded and said, “Of course, Beautiful.”

You nodded then looked to Bin, “Binnie, I’m tired, if I sleep you’ll stay with me? I don’t want to ask too much, but can I have cuddles while I sleep?” Everyone in the room could tell that you were looking for constant reassurance. You just got out of a bad PTSD flashback, triggered by the man that caused the trauma, all on top of getting no sleep. Han walked in after making sure that Chris couldn’t make it back into the room, only walking in after he was sure Chris was in the elevator and clear of the area.

When Changbin heard you calling out to him, saying you’re scared he just wanted to hold and protect you. He successfully coaxed you out of the flashback. His whole being broke when you came out of it so disoriented. The first things you asked Bin was, “Why did he do that? Why did they do that I don’t know why? What happened?” Then immediately after, “I’m scared.” He didn’t know what to say to that first half. It’s inconceivable how anyone could cheat on anyone, especially someone like you. Trying to answer that question would only prove to be more frustrating for you than anything. Apparently the shock was written on Bin’s face as the nurse explained. 

The nurses gently talked to Bin about what he was seeing, he’s never seen you like this and they explained that when someone comes out of a flashback episode, they are very confused. Sometimes they don’t know where they are or what happened. He learned that it was necessary to be very calm in repeating yourself, and ensuring the person coming out of it that everything is going to be okay and that they are safe. The nurse that was in the room with you was the one who coached Bin through the worse of it. He just had to keep pushing, to make you feel safe. He himself was also on the brink of collapse. The wall he made in his mind, to hold all the emotions inside around you, started failing long ago. More rubble falling by the minute.

Bin was trying to be as strong as he could be as he got into the bed with you, pulling you to him, and petting your hair back, “Of course we can cuddle. I am not going anywhere okay? I wouldn’t dream of it. Just take deep breaths. Let the medicine work, Angel.” He looked at you, so small, sweaty, tired, fragile. Felix immediately started tucking you in. Taking time to ensure sealing all of the edges of your body to stay nice and warm. Then he moved your hand to cuddle Bin, knowing that you’d want it there. He resumed his place at your back, he re-tied your gown that was coming loose, then slowly rubbing circles on your back, trying to soothe you. Bin tried to figure out how Chris could hurt someone so precious to him, to all of them. He couldn’t wrap his brain around it. Like that, more bricks fell from the wall.

“M’safe?” You asked Bin, eyes still brimming with unshed tears as you looked up at him. As soon as they were knocked free he used his thumb to wipe them away.

With me…“Always. No one is going to hurt you.” Not while I’m here. He brushed your cheekbone, you head leaning into his touch reflexively. More of the wall crashed to the ground. He gently guided your head down to his chest.

Even though you were being forcibly calmed by the medicine, he could see it. Your eyebrows were tense, still a quiver in your lip. The worst was the shaking. As he held you he could feel the tremble in your entire body. Your hands shook as you held on to his hoodie, rubbing the pattern to calm yourself. 

After a few minutes passed, the boys went to come back in, but Han stopped them, just to explain to them what happened. He also gave them the rundown of how to talk to you and redirect and reassure you, that way you can rest. 

“She doesn’t look like herself right now, that’s because she is still in a very fragile mental state, she’s going to repeat herself, she’s going to say she’s scared, a lot of things that will make you want to break. You cannot break in front of her. That can make her worse. If you need I can guide you through it. Just stay close to me, okay?”All of the boys nodded and went in. Minho let you know.

“Minnie, you here?” You asked.

“Yes I am, Birdie.” Seungmin said as he walked into your field of vision getting down to your level, “Getting sleepy, Birdie?” You nodded as tears started to spring to your eyes. 

Seungmin’s nickname for you is Birdie. When you started hanging out with him more, he noticed something. Whenever you had a song stuck in your head, you would sing it on repeat. Your voice was always very soft, shy, melodic. It reminded him of the morning birds, so one day he called you Birdie and you smiled ear to ear. No one heard him call you that until now, since Seungmin is more an observer than a talker.

“If I sleep, you won’t go anywhere? I’m scared you’ll leave and I won’t see you again.” your tears fell as you looked directly into Seungmin’s eyes.

Seungmin whispered, “Oh my sweet Birdie,” as he kissed your forehead trying not to cry, drying your tears immediately, “You don’t need to be scared, I’m not going anywhere without you. You will always have me, okay? Right now all you need to do is rest, okay Birdie?” 

You nodded then said, “Jinnie and Innie too? They’re here too?”

“Mhm, everyone’s here, Birdie.” Seungmin is doing his best to see you relax, lightly petting your hair, “So just close your eyes for me, let yourself rest, we’re here.” As if on command you slowly closed your eyes. What he doesn’t know is Innah is trying not to cry. Seeing the interaction cracking him open again. 

Your breathing started calming and as Bin felt your body relax into him, your grip completely loosening. Seungmin didn’t stop petting your hair until he was sure you were out. Only then, did he go to IN’s side, where IN’s tears soaked into his shirt. 

Bin played with your hand for a few seconds, seeing how delicate they are as well as gauging how asleep you are. Seeing no reaction from you he draped his hand over yours as he heard a ghost of mere minutes ago, ‘Please just let me die. Let me go.’ The wall collapsed and he started crying. Trying not to shake you at all as he kissed the crown of your head. 

“No one’s going to hurt you, I promise. I got you. You’re going to be okay. You have to be.” Bin didn’t care who saw him. He felt so helpless, his soul is breaking for you as he cradled you. He can’t help but think that it’s all his fault. How could it not be? He didn’t follow his gut, he didn’t make the move, and now you’re suffering because of it. He kissed your hairline as he did his best to stop the pain in his chest, worried that you’d hear his heart breaking. 

Minho watched as tears fell down his face. Seeing you like this and Bin, the one who gave up his own happiness… Handed his heart over to another man, only to see his heart used and abused. He could feel the pain radiating off of Bin. Minho heard a sniffle and looked to Seungmin. Seungmin always had a placid smile to his face, all Minho found was a quivering lip, tears falling, as he watched Bin. 

Seungmin was seeing how perfect you are together, like he always saw, and seeing how broken you both are, yet you are both so strong together. That made Seungmin cry. Even though both of you are in agony right now, torn to shreds, you still clung to eachother, making a silent pact to make it together.

“You can’t leave me here…” He leaned back to see you. Another specter paid a visit, ‘Binnie it hurts. Help me pleaseee’. He felt his chest caving in at the memory. He willed himself to breathe normally, each pull of air burning his lungs, the muscles wanting to constrict. He cradled your head, trying to keep you as close to his heart as possible, “I need you, My Angel.” Bin felt Felix’s hand wrap around his shoulders, much like Bin would do for Lix when he cried. 

Bin couldn’t imagine a world without you in it. A life without you. He knows the pain alone would kill him, kill all the boys. Your love, friendship, and loyalty is second to none. You are just that way. That beautiful, that kind, that irreplaceable. That is what makes Bin distraught, the thought of no you in the world… even finishing that sentence is unimaginable. 

Han looked up at Bin, trying to will himself not to cry. The both of you are so sweet, so kind. He could see the weight on Bin’s shoulders, crushing him. He could see it in his head, Bin keeping everything bad from crashing on top of you, his arms outstretched, using his whole body as a shield. Han knew that if it meant keeping you safe, Bin would carry the world. That’s what separated Bin from Chris. 

Both may be fond of you. Only one has ever put your safety over everything. Only one ever made you feel heard and seen. Only one ever made you laugh until you cried. Only one would take off work to take care of you when you’re sick. Only one made you understand that there is no priority above you. Only one would calm you with just a touch. Only one truly loves you with their heart and soul. That “only one” was in the bed with you right now. 

Han watched, eventually just letting the tears fall as Bin held you saying, “I’m sorry I didn’t protect you, I’m sorry. I love you… I’m so sorry. Don’t leave me.”

That was the first time Changbin had ever let himself say it out loud, “I love you so much it hurts…I Can’t Lose You.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want more? TELL ME SO!

Want in on the tags? Shoot an Ask and consider it done!

THE CHAOS EXPRESS🚂❤️❤️

@Fuckthinking, @feybin , @1-800-shedevil , @channiesbakery, @channieswhore , @hwangswhore , @seungminhour , @skzms, @angstraykids, @roseykat , @seventeenytiny , @dreaming-medium , @thunderous-wolf , @hanjsquokka , @moonjxsung , @diddybok , @fics-lovebot, @seungminssangel, @straykeedz, @tasteracha, @ven-fic-recs , @euphoric-univers, @camilagonzalex, @juskz, @antoniorhinothethird, @mariteez, @armystay89, @i-like-nougat, @yeonjunsfox , @laylasbunbunny ,@uwuitsjungwoo , @3racha-soup , @bandolls , @bomi-ja , @skzfairyyyf8te , @3rachababygirl , @symptoms-of-moonlight , @hiddlestandom , @stay-fr0sty-r0yal-milk-tea , @8rach4, @bear8585 , @tenshimara , @galamxy, @fairlylilo , @skzms , @lolareadsimagines , @lillithathecat , @manuosorioh , @jazziwritesthings , @soulsbbg , @tuskaruska , @emmxxsworld , @maaatyroshka , @orchid-mantis-petals ,

#i can't lose you #Descriptions of Grief #PTSD Flashback #Mentions of Miscarriage #Pissed off Lee Know #Anxiety #Panic #Everyone is hurting but you knew this... right? #Seungmin Breaking Down. #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids #stray kids angst #changbin x reader #seo changbin #bangchan x reader #bang chan imagines #bangchan #bang chan x reader #bang chan #bang chris #Another one that hurts #skz angst #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz x you #sketchbook #skz fake texts #han x reader #han jisung

[hyunjinspark]

star lost with you | hyunjin au | part 14

synopsis: working in a quaint little art store, you’ve had the honor of meeting all kinds of people, but you’ve never met somebody like him.

there were many reasons hyunjin returned to his hometown; a getaway from the ephemeral and fast-paced life of the city, so he could fall in love with life again. he thought he was prepared for everything, to study art in the way that he’s always wanted to, but what he didn’t anticipate was meeting you. hwang hyunjin realises that sometimes, the best things in life happen unplanned. 

pairing: idol! hyunjin x artist! reader

genre: friends to lovers, so much angst, smut, fluff, set in the idolverse, mutual pining, unrequited love, forbidden romance, slowburn (!!!) soulmate au (kind of), star-crossed lovers

word count: 35K (🫠)

warnings: cursing, drinking, jealousy, mutual pining, sexual tension, intense making out, dirty talk, mature content, sub! hyunjin, references to fingering, mentions of the word cock, dom! hyunjin, handjob, grinding, dry humping, overthinking, references to anxiety and therapy, slight confrontation, opens with a flashback

a/n: thank you for being so patient with me, and this story! i worked a lot for this chapter, and its very pivotal to the rest of the story, in terms of hyun and yn. in fact almost 80% of this chapter is just them. i hope you love it. its very longg so please grab a blanket and snacks before sitting down to read it ;)

i recommend that you can listen to my star lost playlist here!

important: all works are fiction, and do not in any way represent the real personalities or real people, they exist only as faceclaims, and are fictional characters.

masterlist

summer of 2015.

“Do you know why those stars are called Cassiopeia?” 

The constellation was more visible than ever tonight — made up of five stars, it almost looked like a Queen sitting on her throne, in the sky.

It was a real question, because you had absolutely no idea why the constellations were named after Greek myths. You’d read about it, of course, within faded literature pages in middle school, but you’d never been interested in astronomy, so you hardly paid attention.

Staring up at it now, you wished you had.

“Hmm?” He asked, and you realised that he also hadn’t been paying attention, to you.

“Cassiopeia” You repeated, pointing your hand upwards, at the bright stars.

“I don’t speak French, babe”

“It’s Latin…” You told him, “What are you thinking of?”

The sand between your fingers was icky, but once you got used to it, it wasn’t all that bad. The waves rushing over you felt calm. The sea was warm this time of year, and the only thing you had looked forward to all summer was this moment, right here.

“I’m thinking…about how I’d do anything for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich right now” He replied, as if he’d been crafting his answer with perfection for ages, as if you hadn’t just asked him about the night sky, something completely unrelated. 

You turned your head, cheek pressing into the sand, “Really, Lix? We…just ate”

Felix sighed, still staring at the skies above, but making no effort to actually see anything, “I know, but…I’m still hungry”

It was tradition at this point, for you and Yongbok to run away to the beach, lie down in the sand, and talk about anything and everything in the world, or talk about nothing at all.

He was the one person in your life you didn’t mind silence with.

You rolled over to face him, as another wave washed over the two of you.

He squint at you, “What? Don’t look at me like that”

“Like what?” You laughed, elbows digging into the sand, “The carbonara Hana made was good, Lix. It was her first time making that too, don’t be so harsh on her”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was good, but I just don’t understand why we didn’t let Minho make dinner, as he does every time. You should stop being a kiss-ass to Hana”

“I am not a kiss-ass” You rolled your eyes.

He sighed, and sat up, making you sit up too, knees digging into the wet sand. You fixed the red strings of your bikini, tightening the knot at the sides.

He stopped you in the midst of that action, hand landing on your bare thigh, “Please? Just one sandwich?”

“Why can’t you make it yourself?” You frowned, looking up at him.

“Because…I don’t wanna get up” He hummed, lending his help to you. His fingers drifted upwards to your swimsuit and he tongued his cheek, “You don’t even know how to tie a knot properly. Let me”

You sat back, hands resting on your thighs as he took over. His fingers were cold, making you shiver, and Felix smiled at that.

“Did you even hear what I said?” You asked, annoyed.

He squinted, “About the French chick?”

You glanced back up at the sky, and the constellation that you had been talking of, “Greek. I was asking you if you know why the stars were named after her”

“Maybe she was really hot”

You rolled your eyes, “I’m sure she was”

He looked up at you, after tying the strings in a perfect knot, “Then they should name a star after you too, Y/N”

“Stop” You laughed, pushing his hand away, “You’re just saying that because you want me to get you food”

He smiled, shameless, “Yeah I am. Please?”

You glanced towards the cabin, a few hundred or so meters away. 

There were no lights on, since everybody else in the house had gone to sleep. Along the rest of the coast, other cabins dotted the beach, of all sizes and styles, lit up and occupied by families or groups of friends. It was a hot summer and nobody liked to stay in their stuffy city homes. 

But the coast was beautiful, and serene.

“Fine” You hummed, reaching over to pinch his cheek, “But you owe me, Lix”

His eyes were bright and you could never say no to him, so you gave in.

“I love you” He sang, as you walked over to the cabin, footsteps light in the sand. 

You took your time, relishing in the cool wind against your skin, occasionally turning back to smile at Yongbok. His eyes never left your figure until you reached the porch, making sure you got there safely, even though it was the safest place in the world.

Soon, this summer would end and you’d be back at school, missing this gritty sand and warm seawater. 

Yongbok’s shirt hung on the porch railing, next to your sweater and you slipped it on over your bikini, before stepping inside. The cabin tend to get cold, even on summer nights like this, so you hugged yourself to keep warm, as you walked through the foyer. 

Your friends were sleeping, and you had to be quiet. Treading carefully, the loud creak of the door still gave your presence away, wooden planks becoming wet with your footsteps.

You blindly fumbled in the dark, finding your way to the kitchen.

The television was on.

It was a little past three, and static noise buzzed through the little house, flashing colours lighting up the living room.

“Hello?” You asked, trying to see in the dark, “Minho?”

A blanket lay on the couch, but whoever had been watching TV had already left, since the remote lay buried in the pile of cushions. Frowning, you picked it up, turning it off.

“Just because Yongbok’s uncle pays for this doesn’t mean we can leave shit on…” You sighed, in the empty room, hoping Minho would hear you. The cabin was small, so even if he was upstairs, he’d be able to hear you. 

Now that the television was off, the entire room was engulfed in darkness again, and perhaps it would have been smarter to just leave it on so you could navigate. 

You weren’t scared of the dark, but you were easily startled. Moonlight filtered in through the windows, and peeking out, you could see Yongbok’s shape against the dark horizon.

In the blue light of your phone screen, you spotted your headphones on the coffee table. You plugged them in, switching to a playlist Yeonjun made as you slipped the headset over your wet hair.

It was silly, that you’d be making sandwiches for him at this time of the day, but you’d do just about anything in the world for Yongbok.

Humming along to your music, you stepped into the pantry, searching for the bread. For some reason, Minho had brought back four different kinds of bread from the local bakery earlier today, and you peered at the labels, wanting to pick one which wasn’t multigrain, since Yongbok hated that.

Whispers interrupted your search, and you stilled in your movements.

“Yongbok?” You turned around, but you couldn’t see anything or anyone in the dark.

It was probably your music that made you hear things, and you turned back to the shelf. 

“There you are” You smiled, spotting the Whole Wheat Bread.

You stepped into the kitchen, packet clasped tightly within your hands and that’s when you saw them.

You stilled in your movements.

The bread unceremoniously dropped from your hands, landing on the musty floor with a thump.

What the fuck?

Across the kitchen island, sat on the two bar stools, your best friend, Song Hana was kissing your other friend, Yeonjun.

No. They weren’t even just kissing. Hana was halfway in Yeonjun’s lap, and his tongue was so far down her throat that this obviously wasn’t the first time it happened. 

Your reaction of surprise wasn’t loud, but it might as well have been like dynamite inside the quiet house because it made them jump apart from each other, turning to face you.

His eyes were wide, as she noticed you in the doorway, “Oh my god. Y/N. Hey”

Hey?

So simple. Hey, I wasn’t just making out with our best friend.

You wish you could have just walked away without drawing attention to yourself, but now they were both staring at you.

You cleared your throat, thankful the dark concealed your shock, wondering what you could possibly say to diffuse the awkwardness, “Uh, I didn’t know anyone was awake in the house” 

“Yeah” Hana laughed, fumbling over her words, “I couldn’t sleep so…I came to get some dumplings”

Your gaze drifted to Yeonjun, and a faint pink coated his cheeks, but he wasn’t even looking at you. 

“Right... Jun?” You asked, making him finally glance up. Even in the darkness of the kitchen, you could prominently see the shape of his Adam’s Apple, as he swallowed, “Yeah, Y/N? Were you at the beach?”

You obviously saw them kiss, but they were hiding it, and there was nothing more to say.

“I…um, I just came to get some jelly, for Felix” You told them, “But…I’ll leave you two to it. Enjoy the...dumplings”

You immediately turned around, because you had to process this - whatever the hell you just saw, because your best friends were hooking up, and this was how you found out?

Hana had never expressed a romantic interest in him before this, what changed? Your friendship was too special, far too precious, to ruin with an impulsive mistake or decision like that.

You would ask her about it later, not tonight. 

You had to get back to the beach, to Felix. 

To something familiar, and comforting, and known and—

—A hand immediately grabbed your arm, stopping you in the corridor, in the midst of your thoughts.

You shouldn’t be surprised that it was him coming after you, instead of her.

Yeonjun was always the one wanting to fix everything, “Y/N, please wait”

He was always the one who never wanted to hurt you.

“Yeah?” You turned around, hoping you sounded as nonchalant as you wanted to, “You can keep the bread. I…I’ll just tell Yongbok we don’t have any”

“You’re hurt” 

Your eyebrows shot up, at his statement, “Hurt by what? The sandwiches weren’t even for me, I’m fine”

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about”

A laugh escaped you, “Then what?”

Yeonjun closed his eyes, “I wasn’t hiding it from you…I was going to tell you”

“It’s okay, I can pretend I didn’t see anything” You shot him a smile, trying to leave but he pulled you back. You stumbled towards him in the dark corridor, wondering where Hana was, if she was listening to this, and what she must be thinking.

“Jun…” You laughed, another forced chuckle.

A flash of regret painted his eyes, “I promise, I was going to tell you”

It was cold, and you were confused, but Yeonjun’s grip was warm, and understanding.

He didn’t need to explain himself.

You were…just surprised, a whirlwind of thoughts running through your head of everything that could possibly go wrong after tonight, and wondering if you really knew your friends as well as you thought you did. They’d been hooking up all this time, and you never noticed, and you never picked up on any hints?

You were more disappointed in yourself than anything.

He continued speaking, “I was going to tell you in the morning, I didn’t know you’re still awake, Y/N”

“I just didn’t expect that. Does anybody else know about you?”

He shook his head, “There isn’t an us”

You swallowed, “I mean, it’s fine if there is. It’s just…kind of something I have to get used to. How long have you been-”

Yeonjun grimaced, “No, you don’t understand. That was the first time it ever happened, Y/N”

Your voice fell, “What?”

“You just …walked in on our first kiss” He explained, “We haven’t ever done that before. That’s what I was trying to tell you. It just happened”

“But…” You squeezed your eyes shut, “What? I don’t understand. Are you…two tipsy or something?”

Yeonjun laughed, “I wish, but no. We’re...completely sober. Sorry you had to see that”

Your voice softened, tension falling from your shoulders, “You don’t have to apologise. I just didn’t expect...”

He nodded, a chuckle escaping him, “Yeah. You know that I’ve liked her for years”

You crossed your arms, hugging yourself, “Yeah…I just, I had no idea she liked you back”

He laughed, “I didn’t either, but she said that she always wanted to kiss me too”

“That’s good” You told him.

He lowered his voice, “Y/N. There’s something else. She said she’s in love with me”

Your eyes shot open, “What? In…love with you?”

He nodded, a smile on his lips, “I know. It was hard for me to believe too. The girl of my...fucking dreams just said that to me, like it took no effort. I didn’t think that stuff happened in real life”

This changed everything.

Yeonjun was only sixteen, and he’d found the love of his life, and you were so happy for him.

Your eyes lit up, “Did she kiss you first?”

He nodded, his lips still had traces of Hana’s lipgloss on it, “Yeah. She did”

“Fuck, that’s...really cool” You stared at the floor, trying to process it, “I was just taken aback, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to freak out or anything”

He shook his head, “No, I completely understand” 

Just then, Hana stepped out from the kitchen, footsteps timid, hands hugging herself as she saw you, “Hey”

“Hey”

The only light in the corridor was from the moon, and it illuminated their silhouettes beautifully.

They hadn’t even got together yet but you could imagine them being perfect together.

“I’m sorry you had to find out like that” She bit her lip, “We were going to talk to you tomorrow. I’d never keep something like that from you”

Yeonjun glanced at her, eyes crinkling, “I told her”

She looked up at him, mouth parted, “You did?”

The way they were looking at each other made it obvious. This wasn’t just a temporary, impulsive crush. Was it so easy to find the love of your life?

“I’m…gonna go up to bed though” She squeaked, and Yeonjun nodded.

She turned to you, “Is it okay if we switch places? I wanted to stay with him tonight. You could…stay with Minho, or Felix?”

“You’re kicking me out of our room?” You joked.

Hana immediately seemed guilty, “Sorry. I can move your things for you”

“It’s okay” You nodded, even though you had far too many things and art supplies for Hana to even attempt to move, and you could never fall asleep in Felix’s bed, but they were in love and that was the craziest thing in the world, so those technicalities didn’t matter right now, and you’d make do.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to move my stuff just for tonight. I can share Lix’s comforter” You smiled at her.

Hana walked away, and you were left alone with Yeonjun.

His gaze trailed to the kitchen, “Did you want something…from in there?”

You remembered the reason you’d been here in the first place, “Felix…he wanted-”

“Peanut butter and jelly?” He finished your sentence, “It’s almost four in the morning”

“Yeah, you know how he is” You laughed.

He sighed, shoulders sinking, as realisation sank in, “Sorry”

For what?

He had nothing to be sorry for.

Guilt overcome you, because you’d walked in on his first kiss, essentially ruining it and now he was saying sorry to you.

You frowned, reaching to grab his hand, “For what? I’m really happy for you, Yeonjun. I’m sorry I ruined your first kiss”

“Y/N-”

“I should be the one apologising. I know I was surprised at first, but you know that you deserve the best? I…know how long you’ve liked her, and I’m really glad she feels the same way. Why are you apologising for that?”

Yeonjun was looking at you in amusement, and he reached ahead to tuck a wet strand of your hair back, “You’re really special, you know that right?”

“What?” You frowned, “Why?”

“I was apologising to you just because…me and Hana finished all the jelly”

»»————-

“The jelly is gone”

Felix turned to you, quirking an eyebrow, “What does that even mean?”

You settled back into the sand, still in your sweater, curling your legs up, “It means…the jam is over. They finished it” 

“Who?” His voice raised, in pointed annoyance, and surprise.

“Yeonjun, and Hana”

Felix sighed, leaning back on his palms, “Why were they eating jelly at three am?”

“I walked in on them kissing” You blurted.

“What?”

“I just…I saw them, inside, kissing”

“Wait, what?” He shifted on his knees, towards you, “Who? Hana and him?”

You glanced at him, “Yeah, who else?”

A variety of emotions passed Felix’s face, and perhaps you weren’t the only one having trouble processing this. They would be perfect for each other, but what if they were not?

You buried your hands in your sleeves, watching the moonlight bounce off the high tide.

There was silence between you, the only sound of the ocean waves breaking at the surface. 

You had been excited for them, but now that you truly thought about it...a worry festered within you.

“I didn’t know Hana liked him back” He spoke.

“They’re probably gonna date, right?”

“I don’t know” He shrugged, “They might”

You traced a heart in the sand, “I’m happy for them”

He tilt his head, “Yeah, sure, you sound real happy, Y/N”

You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling crazy for even thinking all of this but you could tell Yongbok anything so you did, “I am. I’m just worried”

“About?”

You felt like a child, but you had a tendency to imagine the worst case scenarios, “What if they stop hanging out with us?”

Felix’s eyes softened, “Babe…”

Your voice shot up, “Don’t look at me like that. I’ve seen it happen. What if they break up? Everything’s going to go to shit then. It’s a bad idea to date within your friend group, isn’t it? This could be the downfall of everything”

Felix sighed, shifting closer to you, “Nothing is going to happen”

“You don’t know that” Your voice now broke, and you felt stupid for worrying when you should be happy for them, “I don’t want to lose them…or you. You guys…are the best thing in my life”

“Babe, they haven’t even started dating yet” He chuckled, hand reaching to your chin, “Calm down”

You erased the heart you’d drawn, “Yeah. You probably think I sound dumb as fuck”

“I’d never think that about you” He smiled, “Your concerns are very valid…but I don’t want you to be upset about something that may never even happen”

You sighed, and maybe spending so much time around Felix had made you as dramatic as him, “But what if we have to choose? I don’t want any of them to get hurt”

“Why would we ever have to choose?”

“I don’t know. Like…pick a side between them, if they fight. You know that I can’t choose, I love Yeonjun as much as I love Hana-”

Felix laughed, “God. I love you” 

“Don’t laugh at me” You frowned.

“I’m not laughing at you, babe” He smiled, “I just think you’re…making yourself upset for no reason. You love doing that”

You looked up at him, “Lix…”

His voice softened, against the harsh ocean waves, “Nothing is going to happen. Even if it does, you’re not gonna lose us. I’m always going to be here, you know that, right?”

You grabbed his hand, pulling him closer, “What about…when you get a girlfriend?”

Felix laughed, “I doubt that’s going to happen soon, but if I ever have to choose between my girlfriend and you…I’m picking you. It’s not even a question”

A smile made its way onto your face, “Thank you. I would do the same”

The edge of his lip turned up into a grin, “I know you would”

Staring at Felix now, you felt the calm return.

The ocean was beautiful again, the sky was vast, the stars endless, and you felt at ease.

Things would perhaps forever change tonight, your best friends were in love with each other, but maybe everything else would still be the same.

“It’s a good thing, right Lix?” You asked, squeezing his hands so that your nails dug into his soft palms.

He tilt his head, “What is?”

“Love. Them…being in love? It’s a good thing” Your words were low, because you didn’t even really know what you were asking.

“Of course it’s a good thing, but it’s not just about their love. It’s about ours too”

You were confused, “Ours?”

His eyes swirled with intensity, and he swallowed, “Ours, like all of us. You, me…Minho, and them”

“Right”

“What constellation were you telling me about earlier?”

“Cassiopeia?” You questioned.

“Hmm. That” He crawled over to you, “Which one is it?”

You pointed him in the right direction, just over the horizon, where it was visible, “The five stars, it kind of looks like a W”

“Right, and she was some hot Greek chick, right?”

You laughed, “Yeah. She was”

He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close, “Well, she...died like billions of years ago, but she’s still here in the stars, isn’t she?”

“What are you trying to say?”

Felix turned to smile at you, “We’re just like her. The five of us. Five stars. That can’t be a coincidence, can it? We’re not going anywhere, okay?”

Your eyes widened at the sweet metaphor. Yongbok wasn’t one for romance, or anything of the sort, but you knew he meant his words.

He believed them.

And if he did, so would you.

“The five stars” You smiled, feeling your calm return, “Immortal”

He laughed, “Yeah. So don’t worry about us. You need to have more faith in us, Y/N. Things don’t just fall apart so easily, they won’t” 

“I know” You laughed, “I guess it’s kind of crazy. They found love so simply”

“You jealous?” He nudged you.

You rolled your eyes, “I wouldn’t even know what to do with love once I found it. All I need right now…is a job this summer, something to do, so I don’t sit at home and waste my youth”

He laughed, “Right, there’s the Y/N I know, only in love with the craft. I’m sure there’ll be a place in town you can work at this summer. Maybe a café , so you can get me free pastries every day”

“Oh. I almost forgot. Are you still hungry?”

“Starving” 

“I got you the sandwiches” You reached behind you for the Tupperware container you’d brought out of the beach house.

His eyebrows knitted together, as he stared at the box, “I thought you said the jelly was gone”

You lift the plastic lid, “It was but I crushed up some fruits, and I read online that if you add honey, it tastes just like jam…that’s why it kind of took me longer in there”

Felix doubled over, laughing loudly, “Oh my god. You did that for me at four fucking am?”

“It may not taste the best, but you better enjoy it” You mumbled, shoving the container into his arms.

“I know I will” He smiled, “And don’t worry about them, okay? No matter what happens, you always have me”

“Thank you, Lix. I know"

»»————-

summer now.

It had been years since you’d made each other that promise. 

Tonight, it felt futile, as you stared at the myriad of overwhelming text messages he had sent you. You had texted him back, telling him that you weren’t home, but he hadn’t replied since then.

“More beer?” 

You looked up, to see Yeonjun stood with another bottle in his hand, a cranberry extract he’d brought straight from his freezer. 

You hated beer, but you needed it tonight, so you grabbed it from him. It surprisingly didn’t taste horrible, so you savoured the fruity flavour in your mouth.

“What did you say to him?” He asked, sitting down next to you. 

“I told Felix I’m not home…” You spoke, “I asked him if we could talk tomorrow instead? I hope he understands”

“I mean, to Hyunjin” Yeonjun cleared his throat, “You were about to go over to his place, right?”

You glanced up at him, chest wrenching.

Sinking into the cushion, you stared at your phone, “I told him I can’t come either. He…didn’t question it. He probably was expecting me to cancel anyway”

Yeonjun needed you right now, and you couldn’t just abandon him— no matter how much you wanted Hyunjin, no matter how fucking horny you felt after that phone call. 

Your legs still felt weak, your heart was still pounding impossibly hard, and your underwear was soaked, but that wasn’t important right now. 

Your needs could be saved for another day.

He would understand. Hyunjin would still be here tomorrow, and the day after that, and you could meet him then.

“You really don’t need to stay with me” He spoke, “I feel like an asshole keeping you here”

“Yeonjun. You were crying, at three in the morning. I’m not leaving you alone”

He sighed, taking another sip of the cranberry beer, “Did you tell him why…? I don’t want Hyunjin to hate me”

“And why would Hyunjin ever hate you?” You turned to him, confused. Yeonjun hadn’t done anything wrong.

His eyes were still glossy, fresh tears dried on his face, and you hated the sight of it. He wasn’t an easy crier. In fact, in all your life that you’d known him…you could count the number of times you’d seen him so upset on one hand.

He licked his lips, swallowing, “Because I always keep coming between the two of you”

“Shut up” You scoffed, shoving his shoulder, “You know that’s not true”

He was still serious, despite the fact that you didn’t blame him at all, “Isn’t it? You were literally on your way to see him”

“I can see him tomorrow” You shrugged, trying to maintain a semblance of indifference and nonchalance, convincing yourself that it wasn’t that important. After all, it would be stupid to acknowledge how truly dependent you’d become on Hyunjin for your happiness. 

It wasn’t right, and even though seeing him right now felt urgent to your heart, to your body, you would still live another day and the world wouldn’t end if you didn’t meet him right this moment.

“I guess I don’t need to ask why you were on your way to him at three in the morning” He added, a teasing evident in his tone. You looked over to him, the emerging smile on his face and if teasing you was going to make him feel better, then you’d indulge him in it.

You laughed, embarrassed at how you’d been feeling like a fucking horny teenager, “You know Jun…any other day you would be very wrong, but tonight, I have to say it is exactly what you think”

“I thought you two weren’t going to be anything” Yeonjun hummed, stating the obvious fact that you were carefully trying to circumvent.

“We aren’t. It doesn’t have to mean anything” You tongued your cheek, still trying to wrap your head around what just happened. 

It started out as just a simple phone call. 

How did it escalate to that? 

“Right. I’m sure having sex with Hyunjin won’t mean anything to you at all” Yeonjun rolled his eyes, “Sounds just like you”

You looked over at him, “Just because you’re sad doesn’t mean you can call me out like that”

He laughed, leaning closer, “I’m just saying. He’ll probably be a million times better than the boys you’ve been with. Are you even prepared for that?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, heart jumping at his implication, “You’re supposed to be talking me out of this, not give me more reasons to want to jump him” 

Yeonjun laughed louder, “Man. You should enjoy this feeling, while it’s at its peak”

“What feeling?”

“That feeling, you know…” He trailed off, trying to find the right words, “When you’re falling for someone…and you’re fucking crazy about them, about every little thing they do? I remember, in the beginning, I used to have heart palpitations every time I saw Hana braid her goddamn hair, or something because she looked so adorable”

“What?” You let out a giggle, “I didn’t know you care about stuff like that”

Yeonjun smiled, “I was into everything that was about her, or even remotely related to her. I guess I was obsessed, but I don’t think anything in the universe can top that feeling”

You nodded, and you wondered if you’d ever stop feeling that way about Hyunjin. 

It had been months you’d known him, years since you’d first seen him, and your heart still went berserk at the mere thought, “Sometimes when I’m talking to him, it…feels like I have tunnel vision. I can’t see or comprehend anything except him”

“I know what you mean” He smiled.

You swallowed, remembering the reason for Yeonjun’s tears, “I’m sorry…about you and Hana”

“Yeah. I’m sorry too”

You reached over, to grab his hand, “And I’m sorry your heart is broken, and I wish I can take that pain away”

Yeonjun’s smile was sad, in return, “Me too…”

The couch cushions were frayed at the edges, because he hadn’t lived here in a while, and you fiddled with the corners to distract yourself from everything, from his broken heart, from your pining one.

“Did he say anything? Hyunjin?”

You peeked into your phone, to read the new texts, “He said, I got a call from Chan too. I hope Yeonjun feels better”

“Oh”

“Yup” Your fingers wrapped around the ice-cold beer again, and you took a swig, hoping the liquid would be enough to calm the fire in your heart. 

“It’s from the 7/11 behind Aera’s” Yeonjun explained, as if he’d read your mind, “You like it?”

“I do” You swallowed, refreshing your phone to see if Felix had said anything yet.

Yeonjun was silent, and he sat like that for a minute, staring into the dark corners of his living room, until he spoke, “Earlier today, I was thinking of the summer me and Hana got together”

“I was thinking about that summer too” You mumbled, “Can you believe it was almost…six years ago?”

“Six years?” He laughed, “That’s insane”

“It is. It feels like yesterday”

“I told her I loved her that summer for the first time… and six fucking years later, it’s not enough. You’d think the person you love for six years, you’d stay with them forever”

“I know...” You realised.

“What did he say…when you told him you can’t come? Felix?”

Perhaps, on another day, you would find it funny that Yeonjun had to keep clarifying which boy he was referring to, as if you had a carousel of boys in your life to keep you busy.

You sucked in a breath, “He didn’t say anything. I just...don’t understand what happened between us. One day we were fine, the next he hated my guts. I can’t even remember the last time I talked to him, my own best friend”

“The only thing between you and Felix…is Felix himself. It’s not your fault”

You laughed, realising the situation, “I’m sorry, this is so…typical of me. I’m supposed to be comforting you, not the other way around”

“That goes both ways” He hummed, and you looked over at him. 

He looked exhausted, sat with his legs curled, dressed in silly panda pajamas. It remind you of high school, when you used to study together; you would help him with literature so he could help you survive math. 

You used to sit right on this very couch, frustrated with the books, wishing everything in life was as easy as painting.

Even though as of late, you’d contemplated why everything seemed to be against you, you realised how blessed you were to know him.

He looked so different from the boy you’d grown up with, yet still somehow the same. 

Yeonjun was only twenty-two, but he’d just lost the love of his life, and you could see that in his gaze.

It resembled yours, the night you lost the apprenticeship.

Maybe that was an insensitive comparison. After all, a lover couldn’t ever compare to a temporary two-year art mentorship, could it?

Yet, your craft was the one thing in your life that you know you’d have, even after he left. That would still be the same.

Yeonjun had the hint of a smile on his face as he watched you finish the beer, and he was so handsome when he smiled, but…the crinkles in his eyes were strained, forced. 

He was only smiling so you wouldn’t worry about him. 

“Why do you we put ourselves through this?” You blurted, the effects of the beer settling in.

He tilt his head, “Through what? Feelings?”

You chuckled, staring at him and the spots that dotted his cheek, “Yeah. Feelings”

“At least we have each other” He laughed, “I’m really glad you exist, Y/N”

You wanted to stop moping, and to just appreciate what you had. 

You shifted closer to him, so that your bodies would touch, and you wouldn’t both be alone right now, “I’m glad you exist too, Jun”

He immediately wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into him.

It was always better to be alone together.

The television was right in front of you, and the shelves framing it were stocked with old VCRs, and tapes and movies.

“Remember when there were five of us on this couch…and there was absolutely no space for anyone, but we would watch Say Anything over and over again?” You laughed, thinking back to all the sleepovers. 

You’d spent so much of your childhood here, in this room as Yeonjun’s mum baked you treats. Tonight seemed to be a night of remembering, and of nostalgia, and your mind felt clearer than it had in hours. 

Maybe it was Yeonjun’s arm around you, maybe it was the memory of Hyunjin’s voice in your head, or maybe it was the fact that Felix had finally reached out to talk.

You wonder what he had to say, but regardless, that was a problem the you-from-tomorrow would worry about.

You-of-tonight would just let this night be, and not try to make of it more than it was.

“Do you wanna watch it?”

You glanced at him, “Just the two of us?”

He nodded, “Yeah”

It was well past three am, and starting a movie right now would mean that you both wouldn’t get any sleep, but that was okay, and some sleepless nights were worth it. 

You had work in the morning, but Yeonjun wasn’t here for long so you had to make the most of those moments. This might be exactly what he needed, to feel better. 

“All right” You agreed, “Let’s watch it”

He got off the couch, stretching his lanky panda-pajama legs out. He wandered over to his cabinet, filtering through the box of CDs. You hadn’t used those in forever, far too used to the Netflix you shared with Yongbok, but perhaps bringing everything back to as it was, is what would make everything better.

“What do you think he wanted to talk to me about?” You wondered out loud, tracing the rim of your new beer bottle.

Yeonjun was sat on his knees as he searched for the movie, “Honestly?”

“Yeah”

He stared off into space, hands paused in his work, “Felix…would do anything for you, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he was trying to apologise now”

You nodded, taking another sip of the cheap cranberry-extract beverage.

“I made a promise to him, when we were fifteen… that I wouldn’t let anything come in between us. Do you think he blames me for what’s happening to us?”

Yeonjun glanced at you, soft gaze, before turning back to the wooden box, “He could never blame you for anything, Y/N”

You sighed, “Yeah”

“Do you need help?” You realised, as Yeonjun frowned.

“Could you check the other box?” 

You nodded, joining him on the wool carpet, rummaging through the box his sister had labelled.

“I swear, Yuqi needs to have a better organisation system in place” He mumbled.

“I miss her” You laughed, “How is everything with her?”

“She’s actually visiting soon, especially when I told her I was back in Daejon for a while” He smiled, “She’s almost done with her studies”

“That’s crazy” You laughed, “Is she gonna work in Busan too or will she move back here?”

Yeonjun hummed, “You can ask her all of that when she comes. I really do not want to discuss my sister right now”

You laughed, flitting through the various discs.

“Found it!” You declared, bringing out the DVD and handing it to him, “Will it still work?”

“I have faith it will” He got up on his knees, inserting it into the player, “Does Felix know you’re at my place?”

You shook your head, “He would freak”

He seemed to be pondering over it, “You could…call him here”

You blanked, “What? You…two haven’t talked in months. I don’t think he’d come here, even if I called him”

“Say Anything was his favourite film. Tell him we’re watching that”

You laughed, because the idea was so ridiculous, “You think Felix would put aside all of his animosity towards you…because we’re watching his favourite movie?”

Yeonjun nodded, “It sounds exactly like him”

You chuckled, “Yeah… you’re right”

You sent him a text.

im watching say anything…

If you wanna come?

felix:

i thought you said you’re not home 

you:

im not

im with yeonjun 

we’re gonna watch it together

felix:

you’re at yeonjun’s house??

you:

yeah 

we can talk about whatever it is you wanted to discuss here

felix:

sorry yn

im gonna pass

you:

seriously?

im trying here lix

felix:

trying what exactly?

you:

i thought we agreed not to let anything get in between us

or do you not remember that summer?

felix:

out of the two of us, i don’t think im the one that doesn’t remember that summer

ill see you later yn

you:

sometimes youre being impossible and i don’t know what you want

felix:

maybe it’s better you don’t

“Any luck?” Yeonjun asked, and you glanced up at him, disappointed.

“Nope”

He let out a sigh, taking a seat back onto the couch, and you joined him. The disc player made a lot of noise as it started up, and you feared it may not work from years of no use, but the screen lit up. 

Perhaps the reason you liked this movie was because it was so simple.

It was about an impossible love, made possible, against all odds.

You settled into Yeonjun’s shoulder as it started.

It didn't feel the same without them. There were silly parts that Felix would always laugh at, jokes that weren’t even funny, and Hana would always be pointing out the inaccuracies in the movie, to Minho’s joy.

It wasn’t the same.

Everything had changed.

Would things be different today, if you’d thought with your head instead of your heart?

Or would everything still be the same?

“Do you believe in fate?”

He glanced at you, new bottle of beer balanced in his lap, that he’d took from the icebox near his feet, “Hmm?”

It felt sad, just the two of you, drinking away, at what should be the peak of your lives.

“You know…the notion that there’s a path our lives are supposed to be on, and that every choice or decision we make just takes us there”

“I don’t know, Y/N. Doesn’t that mean we have no free will? That everything is already chosen for us?”

“I guess” You shrugged, reaching for the bottle between his thighs. He let you, and you brought it up to take another sip. 

“What? Do you think it’s fate we broke up?” He laughed, “Me and her?”

You shrugged, “No, I guess I’m just thinking if I made the right choices this summer”

“What do you mean?” He turned to you, seemingly having lost interest in watching the movie anymore.

You picked at the fabric of the couch, “I loved how things used to be. Still, I was fighting it for the longest time because I so badly wanted everything to change too. I wanted to move out. I wanted Felix to support that. I wanted Hana to not be heartbroken anymore. I wanted us all to…stay in touch, no matter what, but now I wonder if wanting all of that is futile. I can’t have all of it. Isn’t that too greedy of me?”

“Y/N…” Yeonjun spoke, “It’s okay to hold on to the things we love, even if you want your life to change. You shouldn’t feel guilty for wishing that”

You bit your lip, “Because now I really wish Lix were here…I made a promise to him that I’d never let anything come in between us”

“You were fifteen. I made a lot of promises to Hana too, which obviously aren’t true anymore… but that doesn’t mean I was lying when I made them. People change, and priorities change. It’s not set in stone”

You nodded, “I guess promises when made, are just hope that even if everything in the world changes, you’ll still hold on to that person”

“Yeah”

“Tonight at the pool, before the dinner party, Hyunjin said that he would finally tell me what was going on, with Jisung, with the media, and why he’s been so stressed the last couple of week. I wanted to ask him so many tim-”

Yeonjun turned to you, “Did you just say Jisung?”

“Yeah. Why?” 

“Um. Nothing. I just…heard about him…on the news”

You sat up at those words, turning to face him, “What did you hear?”

He sighed, “You really want me to tell you? It might be better if Hyunjin does. I don’t know the whole extent of things”

A wave of worry washed over you. Was the situation really so bad that Yeonjun, a person who didn’t even keep up with such news, had already heard about it?

You settled back down, because there was no point stressing over it now, “I’ll talk to him tomorrow, first thing. I hope Jisung is okay”

“How is his band anyway?”

“You haven’t heard their music yet?”

He shrugged, “On the radio, a couple of times” 

“What? They play his band on the radio?” 

Yeonjun glanced at you, smiling, “Yeah. Sometimes when I’m browsing the television, their videos also come up. Their sound is really fucking cool”

“That’s crazy” You realised, “I think I’d lose it if I heard Hyunjin’s voice on the radio. I’d...probably think it was fate or something”

“I have no doubt that you would” He laughed.

“I haven’t heard all their albums” You admitted, “Does that make a bad friend?”

“Depends” He shrugged, “Why haven’t you heard it?”

You fiddled with the blanket in your lap, “If I hear all their music, and his voice when he sings…I might fall even crazier in love, and that’s just…avoidable”

Yeonjun smiled, eyes crinkling, “Why…why don’t you tell him, Y/N?”

“Tell him what? That I haven’t heard all of his music? He’d hate me-”

“That you’re in love with him” 

“Why would I do that?”

“Because if he knows you love him, it might change everything”

You swallowed, “It won’t change the fact that he is who he is, and that his life is the way it is”

“No, but listen to me, Y/N. Love is a…it’s a huge fucking thing. It might change everything, if he knows what you feel for him, the true magnitude of it. He might reconsider his never-dating-anybody theory”

You stared at Yeonjun as he spoke, unable to even imagine or comprehend how Hyunjin could react to such knowledge.

To be told that someone was in love with you.

How would you react to something like that?

You’d never been in that position before, not romantically anyway, and maybe Yeonjun was right. It would change things. How could it not?

“I’ll…think about it”

“Sometimes, the things that can make the most difference in our lives, is the stuff that we don’t say”

“God. You’re like…a complete self-help book speaking at this point, you know that?”

Yeonjun rolled his eyes, poking you, “If someone told you they loved you, wouldn’t that change everything?”

“It’s hard to imagine. Maybe you’re right”

“When is he going back to the city?” Yeonjun asked, the one topic you’d been avoiding forever. 

Your heart stung at the reminder.

He was going to leave, eventually.

“Not till the end of summer, which is still a month away, so...I have time”

But he would leave.

“He’s going back in a month? Fuck, that’s...not much”

“Yeah” You nodded, “I’m trying not to think about that. It’s...too soon, it’s going to go away in the blink of an eye. I don’t really wanna think about how I'll feel the day he leaves”

“I understand”

“I’ve gotten so used to him, and being around him, it feels...natural, and after tonight- we’re only getting closer”

Yeonjun smiled, “Maybe one more month with you, and Hyunjin may just change his mind”

You rolled your eyes, “It’s impossible”

He sighed, wrapping his arm around you again, “Guess what? Last week, at work, one of the HR interns…she asked me out on a date”

“What?” You laughed, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“There was nothing to tell. She’s cute, well I don’t even know her, but I think I’m gonna take her out next week”

“You are?” You giggled, shifting closer.

He smiled, waving his hands about, “It’s time for me to finally branch out. To move on”

“I can’t believe all of this started from Hana wanting to move on, the beginning of this summer” You remembered.

Yeonjun glanced at you, “So then technically, you have me to thank for bringing Hyunjin into your life”

You laughed loudly, “God, yeah, I guess that is it. You’re responsible”

He grinned, pulling at your cheek, “I guess fate does exist”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. If me and Hana had to be over so that you could find the love of your life, I’d say it was pretty fucking worth it”

You rolled your eyes, “And why can’t the both of us…be happy? Is fate so cruel to deny you your one true love?”

Yeonjun turned to smile at you, a glint in his eye, “Well. Maybe… the cute intern from HR is the love of my life”

»»————-

The loudness of The Grove did nothing to ease your headache. It was just a little past six am, but the diner was in full swing, and customers filtered in and out of the joint, grabbing their usual breakfast waffles and chocolate milkshakes.

“Give me just two more minutes, Y/N!” Seonmi yelled, over the counter, as she sped through making the quickest caramel macchiato you’d ever seen.

“Of course” You responded, balancing your bag on the counter as she cycled through the customers. You’d hardly slept last night, not even having the energy to finish the film, and you and Yeonjun had fallen asleep on the living room couch as the credits rolled.

You had been woken up by your very loud alarm, and you’d apologised to him for it, somehow forgetting that today was a work day, and that you’d have to leave at dawn.

Glancing around the diner, you noticed some familiar faces from the Lakehouse party, people you remember seeing through your blur of tears. San and Seonghwa knew a lot of people, but you hadn’t expected to see them around town so soon.

One of the boys made eye contact with you, and you looked away, hoping none of them remembered the harsh fight you’d had with Hana.

They probably heard everything.

Not that you cared what they thought of you, you just wish you could go back to that night and erase the argument, for your own sake. 

“Okay, I can take your order now!” Seonmi squealed, stepping up to you, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

You tugged the earphones out of your ears, smiling at her, “Can you take a breather for me?”

Her eyes widened, in perplexed cuteness, “What do you mean?”

“You seem so stressed and the day hasn’t even started yet” You grabbed her hand over the counter, squeezing it, “Don’t forget to breathe”

Her lips tugged up, “Thank you, Y/N. You know how it gets sometimes, there’s a rush this morning and I don’t even know why”

“Well, I don’t know how it gets since I don’t work in the most popular diner in town” You teased her, as she smiled, “Something tells me a lot of people come here for the cute waitress”

She let out a giggle, “Thank you. What can I get you, though?”

“The regular would do” You told her, playing with the little tabletop jukebox, “Whipped cream too, please”

“Of course” She smiled, getting back into the meld of things, and you took a temporary seat at the barstool, as she made your drink.

“Those people…do you know them?” You asked her, glancing over at the group.

She looked up momentarily, “The ones from San’s party?”

“Mmh” 

“They’re older than me, so I don’t really hang with them much. I think most of them are only here for the summer”

“Really?”

Seonmi nodded, as she piped whipped cream onto your hot latte, “Jiho’s from Seoul, and Alexander, he’s visiting from up in Incheon”

It seemed like everyone your age who was born here, had since moved out of Daejon, in pursuit of happiness, and better things.

“Ah, I see” You bit your lip, even though you didn’t know who Jiho was or who Alexander was.

“Why do you ask?”

“They were looking at me earlier, and I think I saw them playing beer pong at the Lakehouse. Just wondering” You shrugged, as Seonmi reached over, handing you your cup.

“Ah, probably because of Hyunjin” She giggled.

“What do you mean?” You tilt your head, a soft smile fighting you just because hearing his name made your heart pound like crazy, even at six am on a work day.

“You know…” She glanced up at you, while wiping the counter clean, “You and him are always together…people are talking”

You sat up straight, “About… us?”

She nodded, “Don’t worry about it though, the people of Daejon always need something to talk about. They’ll move on soon”

Even though you hated town gossip and rumours, the idea that people associated you and Hyunjin with each other made your heart warm. You’d never thought something that bizarre could happen, but hearing his name with yours made it all the more real.

You smiled, flushing at just the thought of him, “Um…did he come by earlier this morning?”

Seonmi had moved on to her next order, hurriedly adding caramel to a drink, “Hyunjin? Nope”

You frowned, “He usually comes by though, right?”

She nodded, “Without fail, every morning…he’s here. Kind of gives me something to look forward to, if I’m being honest”

“Yeah?”

Seonmi paused in her work look at you, “Yeah. He’s always so…kind. It’s like within the flurry of customers, he’s the only patient one. Plus, he’s a sight for sore eyes on morning shifts”

You chuckled, “I didn’t know he’s here that often”

“Oh, he is. I guess Hyunjin can’t live without his coffee either” She shrugged, and then suddenly lit up as if remembering something, “Oh! The other day, you should’ve seen him, Y/N, he was so cute. He spent the entire day here, just reading this book he’s carrying around, and wow…everybody was asking about him, about the quiet, pretty boy in the corner”

Just hearing Seonmi describe him made your heart flutter, because you could picture it so perfectly in your head, even though a part of you was also envious that she got to see him like that, instead of you.

“When was that?”

“A couple of days ago” She scribbled an order for another customer, “I wanted to ask him what book he was reading, but I was really nervous”

You laughed, “Why were you nervous?”

“He’s…intimidating, and I didn’t wanna bother him. But you two are close, maybe you can ask him for me”

Close couldn’t even begin to describe it, but how else would you explain what you two had?

“Yeah, we’re…close”

“Kinda weird he isn’t here today” She added, “But you can always bring him coffee… Maybe he’s busy, or slept in late”

You hadn’t even thought of that, “I could?”

She laughed, “I mean you two are practically dating, aren’t you?”

The warmth faded, and you shook your head, “No of course not, we’re …friends”

Of all the things going on in his life, he couldn’t afford to get into a dating scandal right now, especially because of you.

“Right” She rolled her eyes, “You should still bring your hot friend a coffee”

“You think so?” The idea of bringing it to him made you giddy, because you could imagine his smile, and it would be such a great start to your day - making him happy.

“Of course. He gets the same order as yours anyway, I’ll just add another to your tab”

“Okay” You agreed, and pulled out your phone.

You hadn’t talked to him since last night.

Since…that phone call.

The memory made you red and hot all over, and you opened up his texts. You weren’t sure how to even start, but perhaps you wouldn’t overthink it.

It was obvious to him how you felt, especially after that conversation, and you would just be yourself now.

There was only a month. There was no time to shy away from what you truly wanted.

No more holding back, or second-guessing.

you:

good morning hyun

are you home ?

His reply was instant, meaning he was awake and okay, and you leaned on the counter, waiting for him to type out his answer.

hyun:

morning yn :)

yes i am 

where else would i be at six am ?

you:

idk haha

im at the diner

are you coming here ?

i was thinking i could, like meet you before work

hyun:

oh

im sorry 

i don’t think i can

you:

is everything all right?

hyun:

i think i might be sick :/

you:

what??

what’s wrong?

hyun:

haha its nothing…

just my head hurts like a bitch

ive been up all night

You frowned, heart clenching at the thought of him being in pain.

“Here’s your coffee, love” Seonmi interrupted, placing a to-go cup in front of you, “Well…Hyunjin’s coffee”

“Actually…could I get some peppermint tea instead?” You asked, and she stared at you like you were crazy.

“You’re asking for tea?”

“Hyun is feeling sick” You told her, and just the words felt bitter in your mouth. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, he didn’t say much, just that his head hurts” You frowned.

“Oh” She pouted, “Of course. I’ll get you some right now, but it might get cold by the time you get it to him. Maybe the caffeine will help more?”

“You’re right” You stared at the coffee.

“Hey” She laughed, reaching forward to grab your hand, “Now you’re the one who looks stressed”

“I am… just worried about him”

“He’ll be fine. It’s only a headache” She hummed, returning to her chores, then teased, “Just friends, you say”

It was your turn to roll your eyes, “Friends can be worried, too”

“I know” She laughed, “It’s funny cause Eunbi keeps saying the same thing to me about her boy. Just friends”

“Who’s Eunbi dating?” You questioned, hoping some town gossip would distract you from Hyunjin being unwell.

Seonmi glanced up at you, lowering her voice so the other patrons wouldn’t hear, “Oh, they’re not dating. Just fucking”

“I didn’t know Eunbi is into that kind of situation” You noted, grabbing Hyunjin’s coffee in your hands.

“Yeah! I honestly didn’t think Felix would be either but like…they’re both hot, so I completely get it”

“What?” You looked up, stopping in your movement.

She flippantly glanced at you, “Yeah…her and Felix”

“Wait…what?”

She chuckled, “They’re fucking…I just told you. You didn’t know?”

“No…” You trailed off. 

Is that what Felix wanted to talk to you about?

She stared at you, realisation dawning on her face, “Oh. I thought everybody knew”

“I didn’t” You stated, perhaps too harshly.

“Fuck. You’re…not in love with him or anything, right?”

“What?”

She shrugged, “I mean…you two have been…you know…best friends since-”

You frowned, grabbing your bag off the counter, “No. I’m just taken aback…”

“You sure?” Seonmi frowned, eyebrows knitting together.

You stared at her, “Yeah. I’m sure”

“Well, I’m sure he was gonna tell you soon. Maybe he just forgot”

“Yeah. We’re not really talking right now” You mumbled.

She nodded, “Ah. Eunbi mentioned that. Your fights”

“She knows about that…?”

She shrugged, knowingly, “Yongbok told her”

You squeezed the coffee cup in your hands, a bitter taste in your mouth but you didn’t have time to dwell on this right now, Hyunjin needed you, “I…um, I better get this coffee to him before it gets cold”

»»————-

It had only been a few minutes since you knocked at his front door, the floral wreath hung on the front shaking every time you did so, but nobody had come to the door yet.

You should be patient and wait a bit more.

But your mind assumed the worst, like what if Hyunjin passed out…or fell so sick he couldn’t get out of bed? 

You had half a mind to bring out your phone to ask him where he was because he said he’d be home, but your hands were unfortunately occupied by the coffee. 

The revelation from the diner was still bothering you, but now, you had more important things to worry about.

“Hyun?” You called out loud, in the hope that maybe if he didn’t hear the knocking, he’d hear your voice.

In response though, you heard a bark, making you jump out of your skin.

Kkami.

He was nearby, and you stepped off Hyunjin’s porch, following the sound of his puppy’s excited mewling and barks.

“Kkami?” You asked, tentatively, peeking around the side of his house. 

You don’t know how you hadn’t noticed this before. 

A little metal gate, rusted, led to a back garden.

The path was surrounded on either side by overgrown vines and flowers. 

You hadn’t ever come here before. 

Well, technically you’d only been to Hyun’s house once and hadn’t seen anything except his bedroom. The memory made you warm, and you relived it in your head as you pushed open the rusted garden gate. 

The path ran along the side of Hyunjin’s house, and stepping over the pebbles, you passed the windows of his kitchen and living room.

You were trespassing, technically, but he would understand, right?

“Kkami…?” You called out again, emerging into the back garden, when the little ball of fluff ran head-on towards you, jumping at your body with enough force, catching you off guard. 

The surprise knocked you and the coffee to the ground, and the cup overturned, spilling all over your top.

“Ow” You mumbled, hitting the grass, as Kkami began licking your hand, and the coffee soaked all the way through your shirt. 

It was already cold by now, so it didn’t burn. Still, frustration coursed through you because you’d carefully sought this coffee for him, and now you wouldn’t even be able to give it to him.

“Oh my god” Hyunjin’s voice interrupted your short-lived misery, and you looked up, an impossible frown on your face. 

A frown that melted immediately, with the sight that you were greeted.

Hyunjin.

He sat cross-legged on the grass, across the garden, a soft white sweatshirt enveloping him.

A paper-thin novel was held between his hands, glasses pushed up to his hair, and you had half a mind to question just why Hyunjin was up at six am on a weekend, and reading a goddamn poetry book, but that wasn’t the craziest thing about him today.

His hair.

Wispy bangs fell into his eyes, the color of fucking chocolate.

What the fuck?

Your annoyance at Kkami was forgotten, and so was any semblance of a thought you had in your head. Talk about a fucking cliche.

“Y/N…” He immediately stood up, placing his book to the side, face-down on the grass, and you worried that the pages would get wet, but Hyunjin didn’t seem to care about that right now. 

He rushed to you, bending down to your height, “I’m sorry, Kkami. He…”

Carefully, he pried the puppy away from you, telling him to go sit in a hushed whisper, before he turned back to face you.

You felt silly, sat on the grass on your butt, with just your palms supporting you, coffee soaking through your work clothes, staring at him.

Had his eyes always been that pretty?

The light-brown hair brought out the hazel in his eyes, which seemed even brighter now, and every romance book you’d heard Hana talk about suddenly made all the sense in the world, as you felt yourself get sucked into the depth of his gaze.

“You okay?” He tilt his head, the movement making his bangs shift, and you noticed that the side strands were longer, framing his face perfectly.

His brows were darker now too, to match the hair, and just when you thought you couldn’t go absolutely insane about him anymore, he’d prove you wrong by doing something like this.

His lips, puffier than usual, curled up into a smile when he noticed you staring so blatantly.

“Yeah” You cleared your throat, “You…you said you were sick”

So he just forgot to tell you this morning that he’d completely changed his hair?

“I am” He chuckled, then his gaze fell to your top, “You’ve got coffee on you”

“Oh” You glanced down at it, and you didn’t feel anything, or maybe you were too enamored by the boy to feel any pain. 

He must be a fucking siren, or a creature of some sort to have this sort of effect on you, even after all this while. Everything you’d been worrying about seemed like a distant memory, a problem you didn’t have to deal with, and all he’d done was say five words to you.

“Are you hurt? I’m sorry about your coffee…Kkami is misbehaving a lot-”

“It’s actually your coffee” You stated, looking back up at him, finally finding your bearing on coherent words and sentences, “Well…was your coffee”

“Mine?” He smiled, “You brought that for me?”

You nodded and added, stupidly, “I…was at your front door, but you weren’t there, so I…came in through the metal gate”

“Yeah. I was here” He explained, even though it was obvious, “Are you sure you’re not hurt?”

You nodded, reassuring him, “I’m okay, but…if you’re sick, why are you out here?

“I needed some fresh air. My head…” He grimaced as another bout of pain hit him.

Without thinking, you reached forward, caressing his face, and Hyunjin was taken aback, just slightly.

Your voice was low, soft, “It hurts?”

His eyes fixed onto yours, as your fingers trailed down his jaw, “Yeah”

“I’m sorry” You spoke, “Where does it hurt?”

He grabbed your hand within his, long fingers wrapping around your wrist, and guided it to just above his eyes, brushing past his bangs, “Right here, but…don’t worry about me”

“Let me take care of you” You blurted, touching him delicately.

His eyes closed, and he smiled, relishing in the feeling, “I need to get you out of these clothes first”

“What?” 

His eyes shot open, realisation sinking in, “I mean…the coffee. You have to change”

“Oh, okay”

“Come on” He gestured, helping you stand up, with your unsteady feet. The cup of coffee lay upturned on the grass, along with your bag. Hyunjin held your hand in his own, and bent down to pick up your bag with his other. He slung it over his shoulder, tugging the strap tightly.

You looked around the back garden, and it was so beautiful that you had to do a double take just to take everything in.

“It’s amazing” You breathed, watching Kkami play in the grass, tossing and turning around. Your gaze fell to the book that lay open on the grass, and Seonmi’s words came to mind, “What were you reading?”

“I can tell you that later, when you’re warm and dry” He chuckled, then touched your lower back to guide you into the house, “Come”

You nodded, his touch sending a tingle down your spine, but let him lead you into his house. 

It was crazy, that just yesterday you were so bold, talking about the things you wanted him to do to you, and now…now you were going into overdrive just at his hand on your back.

You craned to look at him, “Are you in a lot of pain?”

He shook his head, “I’ll be fine”

There was another entrance at the back of the house, sliding doors opening up to reveal his living area, warm wooden floors and cosy seating. Kkami ran in just after the two of you, jumping around the futon.

“Do you want to wear something of mine?” Hyunjin asked, leading you to his bedroom. You’d been so lost in him that you’d forgotten what you were doing here. 

You had initially been on your way to work.

“I have…a hoodie in my bag. An extra one” You told him, “I brought it in case it gets cold”

He stopped at the threshold of his doorway, looking at you, “Well, that’s perfect then”

“Yeah” You nodded, “Can I change in your bathroom?”

“Of course” He smiled, and you stepped inside.

Being back here after all this time, was strange. 

His bed was exactly the same kind of messy, but covers and duvets now switched out for a sky-blue color, and his pillows were lined up against the wall. 

It made you want to lie down, since you were severely lacking sleep, but you had work, and this bed wouldn’t probably be big enough for the two of you.

The thought was ridiculous anyway, but it left you wondering.

Last night, you were on your way here in your lustful daze, and if Yeonjun hadn’t been heartbroken, you would have come here. 

The canvases leaning against the far wall were new; you could tell he’d been working on so much art in your absence. Paint canisters were haphazardly placed across the floor, and you carefully walked amongst them, hoping to not knock over any.

Pushing open the door to his bathroom, you placed your bag on the counter, searching through for your hoodie.

Hyunjin leaned on the doorway, watching you, peacefully. He must be in more pain than he let on, because he was hardly saying anything.

You glanced at him, eyebrow raised, “Are you… going to stay here while I change?”

He laughed, “No, I…I’m just…Never mind”

He turned around, giving you the privacy you needed. 

You peeled off your tank top, scrunching it up over the sink to squeeze the liquid out, and you both didn’t address the fact that you hadn’t closed the door, instead letting Hyunjin stand facing the other way.

If he turned, he would see you in just your bra, but you honestly didn’t even mind, or care.

Glancing at yourself in the mirror, you wiped the sticky coffee from your forearms.

“I’m sorry about Kkami” He spoke again, and you glanced at his back. It was cute, how he stood facing the other way, arms crossed, like a kid on a timeout. His hair grazed just past his shoulders, the chocolate brown contrasting perfectly with his sweatshirt.

“It’s all right” You smiled, running the shirt under water.

“Are you dressed?” He asked.

“Not yet” You told him, pushing your arms through your spare sweatshirt, “I’m… really upset”

“Why?” He asked, surprise in his tone.

“The hot drink…it was supposed to make you feel better” You frowned. “Now I don’t have anything to give you”

“That’s okay” He laughed, “I already feel better”

“Your head doesn’t hurt anymore?” You asked, looking over at him.

“No, it does hurt but some sleep will make me feel better” He laughed, “Are you dressed now?”

You glanced at him, a soft smile overtaking you, “No”

Hyunjin nodded, a small ‘Okay’ leaving his lips.

You laughed, pushing your sweatshirt down to cover up, “Why are you so impatient? But yeah, I am dressed now”

He immediately turned around at those words, and pulled you in for a hug, like he’d been counting down the seconds till you could be in his arms. You stumbled into his embrace, surprised at his urgency.

“Thank you for coming to see me, Y/N” He mumbled, face buried in your hair, and you brought your hands up, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“You don’t have to thank me” You smiled, dying but living for the warmth of his body.

He squeezed you in his embrace, “I do”

It was a simple hug. It felt so innocent, so tame, so mild compared to last night, yet the carnal desire you felt for him was just the same, if not more now.

How could Hyunjin be more desirable when he wasn’t even trying to be?

All he was doing was hugging you in his little bathroom, surrounded by potted plants, and fragrances, and candles, and they were all so him.

Pulling away, you looked up, noticing the puffiness of his eyes, “You look so tired”

“I had a stressful night…after you told me you couldn’t come” He explained, “I ended up calling Chan, and we talked up until five”

“Five am? So…you haven’t slept at all?” 

He nodded, a forced smile as he shrugged, “Guilty”

“Hyun…” You frowned, “You need to get some sleep, now”

He sighed, “Now? I’ll end up sleeping through the day if I do, and I…don’t want to waste any time”

“Waste?” You questioned, “It’s not waste. You’re…just sleeping”

“Yeah” He swallowed, “But…”

“But?” 

“But you won’t be here” He finished, “And I would much rather…spend time with you. I know you have work today, I was thinking I could come in to the shop. I promise I won’t distract you, I could sit and read. You won’t even know I’m there. Or I could paint”

You couldn’t help but smile, heart swelling at his eagerness, “If you’re there…I won’t be focusing on my work, Hyun”

He shook his head, as if he’d already prepared the answer, “Then I can sit in the back room. You won’t know I’m there”

You giggled, “Then what’s the point?”

He tilt his head, “The point is… that I’ll be close to you”

Your smile grew, and you tightened your grip on his waist, “You…changed your hair”

His eyes widened, “Yeah. I did. Took you long enough to notice”

“I noticed it the second I saw you. I just-”

“You didn’t say anything” He interrupted.

Your gaze followed the light-brown tendrils as they grazed his jaw, “I don’t even know what to say” 

“You hate it?” His smile fell.

You shook your head instantly, “No. It’s…It… reminds me of chocolate”

His lip tilted up, “Good enough to eat?”

You laughed, letting go of his waist, “I take the flirting as a sign that you’re feeling better”

“Mmh”

“You still need to get in bed”

“Are you gonna show me how much you like it in bed?” He asked, and you laughed.

“Shut up” You pushed him, lightly, “It’s unlike you to ask for validation”

“It’s unlike you to be so flippant to me” He pouted, walking back into his room. 

It was hot inside so he pulled off his sweatshirt, revealing the tight black t-shirt he wore inside. The neckline dipped low enough to reveal his collarbones, and it was different from the more oversized shirts he usually wore. He stretched his arms, a small yawn escaping.

“I…have to get to work” You realised, “I’m gonna make you some coffee first though, is that okay?”

He glanced at you, in surprise, “You don’t have to”

“Caffeine will help with the pain”

He shook his head, “I promise I’ll take a nap after you leave”

“Okay” You nodded, grabbing your bag, “I’ll…get going then”

You passed him to leave, but he reached out, tugging at your tote bag to stop you.

You looked at him, “What, Hyun?”

“Aera’s doesn’t open until another forty two minutes, and it’ll only take you eight to get there” He hummed matter-of-factly, with the convincing powers and puppy-eyed gaze of a kid who wanted to go to Disney.

“What’s gotten into you?” You laughed, but let him take your bag, indulging him in his little request. He was right, after all. 

You had to make the most of your time with him, even if it were stolen little moments like this.

You leaned against the bedroom door, eyeing him up, as he put your bag to the side, and he clearly didn’t plan on letting you leave anytime soon.

He bent down to gather the stray paintbrushes on the floor, “I just felt like spending some time with you. Is that so wrong?”

You smiled, looking around the room, “Why is all your shit everywhere?”

He glanced up at you, “I paint when I’m stressed”

“Oh” You recalled, “You were painting last night when you called me”

“I was” He hummed, “When do you get off work?”

“Couple of hours”

“You don’t work Saturdays, usually”

“You have my schedule memorised?” You raised your eyebrow, wanting to tease.

“It’s not that hard” He rolled his eyes, “You work alternate days”

“Right”

He kneeled onto the floor, pulling out a wooden basket from underneath his bed, placing paint tubes inside it. 

You weren’t sure what to do as he started packing his art supplies. 

He wasn’t even saying much, as you stood leaning against the door, observing him, recognising the tune he hummed to himself.

He bent over, and whenever he did his shirt would fall forward, allowing you a glimpse of his chest.

Every time you met, you pushed another boundary, crossed another threshold, and after he talked about fucking you last night, you obviously weren’t just friends anymore.

The energy felt...so different, but it was never uncomfortable.

3 a.m. Hyunjin was a stark contrast from 7 a.m. Hyunjin, and...you loved both.

It felt so strangely calm, so domestic, so heartwarming.

It was seven am on a regular Saturday morning, and you were in Hyunjin’s bedroom, as he cleaned up.

A pink tube then slipped from his hands, rolling under the bed, and he cursed, “Shit”

“Let me” You offered, kneeling to join him on the floor.  You stretched to reach for the watercolour tube, and underneath his bed were discarded hairbands, pencils, and a bag of treats for Kkami. Cute.

After retrieving it, Hyunjin smiled at you, whispering a ‘Thank you’ as he placed it inside the original packing.

“One day you should really let me organise your art supplies”

He tilt his head, “Can that day be today?”

You laughed, “I told you. I have to go to work”

He shrugged, “Skip it”

“Oh, will you start paying my bills when I eventually get fired from Aera’s for slacking?”

“Yeah I will” He said, without hesitation.

Your eyebrows shot up, “Shut up, Hyun”

“Shut up?” He gasped, “Can’t believe you’re being so mean to a sick boy”

“Oh” You realised, reaching forward to cup his cheek, “It still hurts a lot?”

He smiled, leaning into your touch, “Less when you’re here”

You dropped your hand, heart clenching, “I wish I could stay then”

“But you don’t work Saturdays, so why today?”

“Mina wanted me to help with the stock…we have some new supplies coming in, and just needed to get my mind off something 

“Something like what?”

“You don’t have to worry about it, Hyun”

“Maybe I could get your mind off it”

You crossed your arms, “What if you’re the thing I need to get my mind off?”

He frowned, “Did I do something wrong?”

You laughed, “No, don’t worry about that”

He closed the wooden lid, gripping the box, “Last night…You said Yeonjun wasn’t feeling all right. Is he okay now?”

“It’ll take time. He’s just having a hard time, with Hana”

“Oh”

You shrugged, “Love sucks, I guess”

He laughed, “You got that right”

You sat back on your ankles, looking around the room, “What was the book you were reading?”

“Oh. I left it out in the garden. Could you get it for me?

"Yeah, once you tell me what it’s about”

Hyunjin smiled, pushing the box back under his bed, “It’s about fate”

You slid open the doors to the back garden, cold morning air rushing in. Plants of all kinds grew alongside the wooden fence. You wonder if it was him, or his aunt who had planted them. 

Picking up the book, you saw the page it was open to had been creased. 

Hyunjin had marked some pages, left little notes, annotating it, and he must have read through it countless times, so you asked him about it when you came back, “So why are you reading a book about fate this early in the day?”

Hyunjin was still sat on the floor, except his head was buried in his hands, “Fuck. I really shouldn’t have stayed up”

You immediately abandoned the book, stepping up to him, “Hyun. What’s wrong?” 

He mumbled, ‘I’m okay’, running a hand through his hair, but he clearly wasn’t okay.

“Come on, let me get you into bed” You gripped his arms so you could pull him up, but he stayed where he was.

“I’m fine” He answered, through gritted teeth.

You tilt his chin up, so he’d look at you. His eyes were tired, puffy and red, and he looked terribly sleep-deprived.

“Why do you not want to sleep?”

His voice turned soft, “Because then you’ll leave”

“Hyun…” Your heart melted, “I’ll be back in a few hours, you’ll barely notice that I was gone”

He pouted, “I'll notice”

You smiled, tilting his chin up to look at you, “Why are you trying to be cute?”

“Trying?” He acted offended.

“Fine” You rolled your eyes, “Why are you being cute? You know I don’t actually want to go, but...unfortunately we live in a capitalist society and I need to pay the bills”

“I fucking hate capitalism”

You laughed, “Come on. What’s wrong?”

“I just...like being around you” He shrugged, “And now that...you won’t be moving for the program in the city, I don't know when I’m gonna see you again. I was really looking forward to meeting you in Seoul”

“I know, me too, but you'll see me every day for the rest of this month. Isn’t that enough?”

It was ironic that you were saying that, because it obviously wasn’t enough even to you.

Something flashed through his eyes, an emotion you couldn’t recognise and he mumbled, “I guess”

“Hyun, we have time to deal with that later, but can I bring you some Aspirin now?”

“I’m just so fucking tired of this shit” He mumbled.

“What shit?”

He glanced at you, “If I tell you…you’ll be stressed too”

Your eyebrows knit together, confused at what he was talking about now, “Please tell me, Hyun”

He sighed, running another hand through his hair, “Okay. It’s just…it might upset you, and you’re going to be thinking about it all day at work. I know it”

“I don’t care, I want to understand why you’re feeling this way”

His eyes were heavy with emotion, “Are you sure, Y/N?”

It scared you, what he wasn’t telling you, but you had to know.

“You’ve been upset about this, for weeks, Hyunjin. I…maybe I can help, or make you feel better somehow”

He shook his head, a chuckle escaping, “You can’t make me feel better about this”

Ouch.

“Oh. Okay”

He looked up at you, “Shit. That’s not how I meant it. I mean…nobody can do anything, it’s a fucked up situation”

“I’ll try my best to understand it then”

He sighed, leaning back, fiddling with the string on his sweatpants, “It’s…about Jisung. I had to leave Yeonjun’s place early yesterday, because…there’s been some stuff going on with Jisung, and it’s just so frustrating”

“What’s going on?” You asked, hoping you didn’t overstep with your questions.

He looked up at you, “Under my company, we have this…sort of contract, a contract that’s responsible for our health. Mentally and physically. They ensure we’re okay, because it can get stressful and tiring, for our bodies…do you get it?”

“Yeah. That’s a good thing, right?”

He nodded, “It’s supposed to be, yes. It is a good thing. If it weren’t for that, I probably wouldn’t be eating well, or getting enough sleep”

“What do you mean?”

He swallowed, “I mean…sometimes the company wants us to be in a certain…shape for an album, or a photoshoot. The pressure of that can be a lot, but this…this contract, it basically makes sure that they don’t push us too hard”

“Right”

He added, “It’s because of that contract that I was able to come back home, because they recognised that I needed some space. Most people in my line of work…they don’t get that freedom or liberty”

“The freedom…to go home?”

Hyunjin laughed, sore, “Yeah. I know how it sounds. It’s really rare for someone to go on a voluntary hiatus…like I did. They never allow it”

“Oh”

“And part of that contract is…we have these weekly appointments with a ….therapist, I guess you could say? I’m not sure what her specialisation really is, but she…talks to us and checks in with us every few weeks, to make sure we’re doing okay, and if we’re stressed about anything.

She works with the company, so it’s nice to have someone to depend on, and someone to just…rant to at the end of a really horrible month, you know?”

Even though he was telling you something nice, you could tell what he was leading up to wouldn’t be because his shoulders were tense and his voice was harsh. 

He was stressed even just talking about it, and you suddenly regret asking him to explain it to you.

You nodded, wanting to comfort him, hands itching to touch him somehow, but you kept your distance, “That’s…really nice, Hyun”

He nodded, “It is. Well…Jisung has been going to her much more often, ever since an article came out about him last month. The one you read. He was getting a lot of…negative public attention for the fight he was a part of, so he’s been seeing Mrs. Yoona far more often than the rest of us”

You nodded, unsure of what this was getting at.

“Mrs. Yoona…that’s the name of the woman we see. We talk to her every month” He clarified, and you were grateful he took his time to make sure you understood everything.

“Okay”

“Yeah…and…last week” Hyunjin sucked in a sharp breath, “I don’t know how it fucking happened, but someone got access to her files…which are supposed to be confidential”

Your breath caught in your throat, “What?”

“They…released everything about Jisung, everything he’s ever said in his… sessions, all of the things he’s anxious about, the things he hates about the job, stuff about his family, about his ex-girlfriend”

Your heart plummeted, a terrible feeling clawing at you, “They released it…publicly?” 

Hyunjin nodded, voice getting angrier, “I don’t know who the fuck it was. Probably someone from inside the company, but it doesn’t matter now, the files are out now, for every person in the fucking world to see, and it’s so unfair, because that shit’s supposed to be private. It’s his life, and…it’s not fair everyone gets to see it, and somehow use it against him”

His voice broke, and you immediately reached out to him, hand grabbing his, so he would know you were here, “I…I’m so sorry Hyun, that’s horrible” 

He nodded, looking up at you, “Yeah. It is”

“I’m sorry” You repeated, unsure what else you could say, but you felt sick. It was the worst kind of invasion of privacy, and you felt so angry.

Why the fuck would someone do that?

You couldn’t even imagine how Hyunjin felt.

“Yeah. Me too” He spoke, “I’m just on edge because of this”

“Do they…have your files too?” You asked, hoping you didn’t sound insensitive for asking about him, when something horrible had already happened with Jisung.

Hyunjin glanced at you, eyes widening, and he pulled you closer, “Y/N…please don’t worry about me”

“But-”

He cut you off though, “It doesn’t matter if they have it or not, or whatever they decide to do with it. That’s for me to think about. I can’t have you stressing about it”

“But…that’s impossible”

His expression softened, “That’s why I didn’t want to tell you”

“Hyun…” You squeezed his hand, “I’m really sorry that you have to deal with this. I wish…”

“It’s okay” He cut you off again, “I’ve been dealing with it half my life, it’s honestly not the worst thing that’s happened, which sounds so fucking cruel to say. Mostly, I’m just sad about Jisung, but he’s holding up okay for now”

Your phone suddenly buzzed, because Mina was calling you.

“I’m gonna tell her I’m gonna be late” You pulled your phone out of your denims to text her.

Hyunjin watched you do so, “You don’t have to, please”

 “Yes, I do” 

“Y/N” He reached up to stop you, “Forget what I said before. I don’t want you to miss work because of me”

“Hyun…this is more important” You told him, but your heart was pounding, “You should lie down now, you haven’t slept all night. I’m gonna get you some water, okay?”

He nodded, moving over to his bed.

You walked over to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water for him, trying not to fucking panic about what he’d just told you.

You had to breathe.

Hyunjin needed you, and it would help no one if you also began freaking the fuck out. 

How could people do something like that?

You needed to be stronger than this, because you wanted to cry just thinking about how Jisung felt. 

You squeezed your eyes shut, to calm yourself, and then finished filling up the glass for him. 

There was stuff all over the kitchen counter, different kinds of Daejon-special snacks, sour candy, instant ramyeon packed into little ziplock bags. 

Was he going on a trip or something?

As you went back to the room, Kkami was on top of Hyunjin, sitting on his chest, as Hyunjin stroked his chin, fondly. He was lying down, hair spread out on his pillow, and he glanced at you.

“I think this is the first time he’s paying so much attention to me” He told you, smiling as he scratched Kkami.

“Maybe he knows you’re sick” You hummed, placing the glass of water on the bedside table, “Are you going somewhere? Your kitchen counter...is messy”

He shook his head, eyes wide, “Um, no. I was just cleaning... earlier”

That seemed like a blatant lie, but maybe he was planning a surprise, so you didn’t push. He probably needed any break he could get. He settled further into his blanket, staring at you, “So now you know why I had to leave, when we were at the pool”

Everything made more sense now.

That’s why he had left in a hurry, and skipped the dinner party at Yeonjun’s.

He must have heard about the scandal in that moment, and the thought of finding out something like that about your friend also made you want to cry.

You bent down to grab your bag, wondering why those people wouldn’t just leave him, and his friends alone.

“Are you all right?” He asked, at your silence.

“I’m just mad…at whoever did that to Jisung”

Hyunjin reached out, grazing your arm with his fingers, “Me too, but…that anger isn’t yours to have”

“Of course it is!” You spoke, eyebrows shooting up, “I care about you and I care-”

Hyunjin sat up, interrupting you, “Hey, hey. I know”

You squeezed your eyes shut, “You don’t deserve this. None of you do. I just..I don’t understand how this shit keeps happening and people actually get away with it? Why do they care so much about your lives-”

“Y/N…” He spoke, “Can you look at me?”

You reluctantly opened your eyes, and he leaned in closer, “I know you’re upset, but can you just…please promise me you won’t worry about this?”

“I can’t…” You blurted, “You know me, Hyun. I can’t promise you that”

Hyunjin shook his head, “Can you try? If you’re going to be around me… there will be a lot of this stuff happening. You can’t let it get to you”

You swallowed, knowing this conversation was futile right now, “Yeah. I’ll try my best. You could have told me about this last night, Hyun. I could have been there for you”

“I know. I was going to, but...I didn’t want to ruin a perfectly good night” He smiled, clearly trying to cheer you up, and last night’s intense conversation felt like a fever dream compared to now.

You swallowed, “But still-”

“When you come back. I’m gonna make you feel much better, okay?” 

You smiled at the new comfort between you, “I’ll see you in a few hours”

He laid back down, head resting on the pillow, “It’s cute. You…trying to take care of me”

You rolled your eyes, “Well, forgive me for caring about you, Hyunjin”

He grabbed your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, “I will be okay”

You stared at him, and he stared up at you, sleepily, eyes barely open.

You should be the one making him feel better.

Your impulse won, and you leaned forward, pressing your lips to his forehead.

He murmured, “When you’re done at work, you can let yourself back in. The key is next to the window, under the daisy”

“The key?”

“To my place”

Your heart stirred, “Hyun-”

He curled up into his duvet, eyes drifting shut, “I’ll see you soon, Y/N”

You closed the door to his bedroom, peeking at him one last time as he buried a hand under his pillow. Hopefully he would fall into a deep, restful, stressless slumber.

The walk to Aera’s wasn’t long from his place, but you took your time, savouring every moment that warmed your heart, but your gut twisted with the new knowledge you had gained.

You had many more questions about the Jisung thing, but it wasn’t the right time to ask. 

How could Hyunjin be so kind, despite the horrible things happening in his life? You would think that such hate would turn people cruel.

And despite all that fucking stress, he still called you last night. He stayed up with you, trying to make you feel good, even though your problems were nothing compared to his.

Aera’s came into view, and you could see Mina inside, idling away on the cash counter, probably playing a game on her phone. 

In front of her lay a large bouquet of flowers, and your curiosity peaked. 

Who sent Mina flowers?

As far as you knew, she wasn’t in a relationship, and her latest hookup had ended badly, yet a beautiful arrangement of daffodils was sent to her.

Your gut twisted, in part envy and some inspiration.

Maybe after you left work, you could bring some flowers for Hyunjin.

It would barely do anything to cheer him up, but it was still a nice gesture that you know he would appreciate.

You hope he felt much better when he woke, less in pain, more at peace.

You stopped in your tracks, just outside the steps.

You’d forgotten to give him the medicine.

What if he woke up, and was looking for it? What if his head hurt again?

You were so stupid for forgetting it. It was one of the reasons you’d gone over to his place in the first place.

Aera’s was right here and you were late, but it would only take you ten minutes to get to his place and back. You needed to make sure he was okay.

For a minute you stared at the little art shop, but then you thought of the frown lines in his forehead and the sadness in his eyes and your heart eventually won the argument. 

»»————-

The key was next to the Daisy ornament, as he had promised.

It felt invasive, to enter his home, and when you pushed open the door to his room, Hyunjin was deep asleep.

He was on his side, face pressed into the pillow, covers pulled up to his chest. 

Kkami wasn’t in sight, so you walked over to his bedside table, placing the pills, a bottle of water, and a candy bar.

Just in case he was hungry.

He sure seemed at peace, eyelids shifting slightly. He was dreaming.

What kind of things did Hyunjin dream of?

You hope all the terrible shit in his life didn’t invade his subconscious, and you wish you could stay here.

You gripped the spare key, reaching for the doorknob, but his voice startled you.

“Y/N...?”

Fuck. 

You hadn’t been quiet enough, and now you’d stupidly woken him up.

“Yeah?” You turned around, and he was clearly awake and you didn’t imagine hearing him say your name. He shifted around in his blanket, to face you.

“You’re back…” He mumbled, a sleepy smile, voice hoarse, “How was work?”

Your eyebrows shot up.

You hadn’t even gone to work yet, and it had only been fifteen minutes since you left but…it seemed like he’d lost all sense of time, and clearly been dreaming away.

You stood still, staring at his body under the covers, as he looked at you, waiting for a response.

“Hyunjin, I…”

“Was it not a good day?” He sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes, a frown on his lips, and the kind of person he was, of course his first question was to worry about you, about your day, which hadn’t even happened yet.

In the early morning sunlight, snuggled up in his blanket, brown hair tousled from sleep, Hyunjin looked absolutely perfect.

His hair fell into his face and eyes, and his bangs were cut completely wrong, but god, you wish you could have explained to him how much you absolutely cherished his new hair.

It brought a sense of familiarity, and of warmth, liquid fire running through your veins.

Like the first sip of coffee on a long day. 

Like the sunset on Jeju Island. 

Like a book character crafted just for you. Like an angel that fell to Earth.

You could stare at him forever.

He opened his eyes half-way through, confused why you weren’t answering, “Y/N?”

You had a choice.

You could go back to Aera’s and help Mina with the stock, yet be consumed by thoughts of Hyunjin all day.

Or —

“No, work was…great” You smiled, giving in.

Giving in to the only thing you could ever want.

Him.

“I’m so glad” Dimples appeared in his cheeks, as he smiled, “I hope Mina didn’t overwork you”

You walked over to him, voice soft to not disrupt his sleepy subconscious, “She didn’t”

“Are you tired?”

“Yeah”

His lips curled into a frown, rubbing his eyes again, “Oh. So…you have to go home?”

Another choice.

It was time to stop resisting.

“No. I don’t have to go”

But it would always be him.

“Is it all right if I stay here with you, Hyun?” 

The smile grew on his face, reaching all the way to his puffy eyes, and he instantly shifted, to make way for you, “Of course”

You don’t know what you were thinking, or if you even were thinking. You slipped off your sneakers, pushing them under the bed, next to the discarded items Hyunjin had long forgotten about. 

Your hesitation disappeared, and it ceased to exist, so you climbed into Hyunjin’s bed.

The bed was small, not nearly big enough for the two of you, but it didn’t matter because you squeezed yourself next to him. Hyunjin pressed himself up against the wall, making way for your body, and to share his pillow with you.

There were no words spoken, like it was habit - routine that you just slipped in next to him, like you weren't friends who could never be lovers, like this was what your everyday looked like, like this was all normal.

It was your first time climbing into his bed, but it felt like the most natural thing to do, like it was your fate, no matter how mundane it was.

The only sound was the ruffling of sheets, as he pulled the blanket over your body to cover you up. 

The bed was so little - all of your limbs touched his, and your noses were inches apart, sharing the same breath on his baby blue pillow.

“Are you comfortable?” He voiced.

“Mmh” You reached over, hand tracing his cheek, “You?”

“I’m perfect” He smiled, a yawn overtaking him soon after, “Although I’m still soo tired…it’s like I barely got any sleep”

You laughed, knowing he voiced the truth, “Go back to sleep, Hyun”

He nodded, “And…what about you?”

You slid your hand under the pillow, staring at him, “I will too"

Hyunjin’s hand moved under the blanket, reaching over to your waist. He pulled you closer, his chest pressing against yours, and your fond heart melted.

“You deserve to rest. You work too hard” He mumbled.

The guilt of skipping work crept over you, but…you needed to be selfish today, and you’d never felt this kind of calm before.

It was just one day you missed.

He was forever.

The way his legs fit between yours, and his hand on your body, was forever.

He tilt his head, voice coming out whiny in his reverie, “What are you thinking?”

“Just…about you”

“What about me?” He whispered.

You pushed back the uneven hair from his eyes, and his forehead, words slow because sleep was crawling over the two of you like a wave in the ocean, “I wish I could make everything easier for you”

A dimple appeared in his cheek, “You already do”

You smiled at his words, eyes drifting shut, but you had to ask,“Your head…does it still hurt?”

Hyunjin didn’t answer, and you thought he must already fallen asleep, but when you opened your eyes, he was looking right at you.

Eyes half-lidded, he was staring at you, “You’re so beautiful…”

Heart squeezed in your chest, an unsafe amount of emotions overwhelming you, and you mumbled, “Hyun…”

There was so much to say, but you couldn’t even comprehend your feelings in the moment. His body was so warm, safe, familiar, and it belonged there, and nothing could convince you otherwise. His eyes were so puffy and they kept drifting shut, and then just like that…he was asleep.

You stared at him as he fell asleep, at a loss for words. You thought you were getting used to the way you felt around Hyunjin, but truthfully you could perhaps never get used to it.

You’d never felt this way before.

You’d do anything for him.

You would do whatever he wanted in the world, and go wherever he wanted you to, and the thought was so scary that you almost cried.

It was good that he fell asleep, because the next words at the tip of your tongue were far too dangerous to be said at a time like this.

You would have told him you loved him. 

You were sure of it.

You loved him more than it was possible for humans to love each other, more than it was possible for you to love a boy you met just this summer, more than you should love someone you could never be with.

Just one second longer, and you would have blurted it out, because it was too strong an emotion to hold back anymore.

It’s a good thing he fell asleep when he did, and it was a good thing you didn’t say it.

If you told him how you truly felt about him, he would leave you.

You were sure of that, too.

»»————-

You woke slowly, and then all at once, eyes blinking awake, a steady heartbeat pulsing under your ear.

It took you a few seconds, to gather your bearings and to pull yourself out of this slumber, trying to make sense of where you were.

You’d been dreaming of stars…and you opened your eyes to the sun.

The blinds were pulled shut, subdued sunlight hitting the room.

Your fingers were clutching onto fabric, a t-shirt, and you were on top of Hyunjin.

Somehow, you’d moved in your sleep, your head pressed into his chest, which would explain why the first thing you heard was the sound of his heart.

Hyunjin’s chest rose, and fell, soft, calm. 

His face was pressed into your hair, and you wonder how he could even breathe, pushed up so close to you. His fingers dug into your sweatshirt, arm still wrapped around your waist.

What time was it?

There was no clock in his room, and you shifted, to reach for your tote bag. It lay by the side of the bed, your phone half-way out. You stretched your arm, but it was still out of reach. 

You didn’t want to wake him up, so you settled for not knowing what time it was, and perhaps you could exist in this moment forever, and never have it be stolen from you.

“It’s…just past ten” He breathed, and you shifted, to look at him. Your arm drifted, grazing his stomach, and it wasn’t until your fingers touched his bellybutton piercing that you realised his shirt had ridden entirely up, revealing bare skin.

“You’re awake” You stated, pulling yourself out of sleep, but everything was still hazy and blurry.

His eyes drifted open completely, “Mmh. I am”

He’d been awake a while, it seemed.

The reality of the situation set in.

You flushed, pulling your hand off his abdomen, even though you’d been enjoying the taut muscles of his stomach.

“Sorry…” You mumbled, “How long have you been up?”

Despite being wide awake, Hyunjin didn’t stop holding you.

“An hour…”

“An hour?!” Your eyes widened, “Why didn’t you wake me?”

He smiled, “Because you needed the rest”

“But…” You felt conscious, “Fuck, sorry, I was basically pinning you down, and you must have wanted to get up, to feed Kkami”

“Don’t worry, I already fed him” He laughed, chest moving with every chuckle.

You frowned, “You…did? How?”

“How?” He repeated your question.

“How did you…feed him?”

He laughed again, confused, “I got up and put food in his bowl”

The realisation sank in.

Hyunjin got up, fed Kkami, and then he—

“You came back to bed after that?”

He smiled, “I wasn’t going to leave you alone, you looked so comfortable”

Your heart skipped a beat as you stared at him.

You had been asleep, and he did all that without waking you. 

He…climbed out of the blanket, the bed, and then back in, snuggling up to you, holding you even tighter than before, without ever managing to wake you up.

A bashful smile tugged at your lips at the mental image, “I see”

“Mmh” He tilt his head, “Did you sleep well?”

“I did”

“Even after you lied to me?”

Your eyebrows shot up, “What?”

“You told me that you had a good day at work”

“Oh…”

“You didn’t have to skip work for me, Y/N. I was only kidding before”

You sat up, trying to fix your hair which must have been a mess after that unplanned nap, “I wanted to stay”

Hyunjin got up too, crossing his legs over the duvet, “Mina won’t be mad at you, right?”

You shook your head, rubbing the tiredness out of your eyes, “I can just take the afternoon shift”

He ran a hand through his sleep hair, pushing it back. You got lost in the way he did, brown curls falling across his jaw.

“When did you even get the time to dye it?”

A hoarse laugh escaped him, voice still groggy from sleep, “Late last night or early this morning…however you see it, after I finished taking to Chan”

“That’s why you got no sleep”

“Yup”

“Can I ask why you did it, Hyun?”

“I guess I just…needed a change. With everything that’s been happening” He looked down at his dye-stained hands, “I wanted to feel more like myself”

“And this…” You ran your hands through his hair, “…makes you feel more like yourself?”

He chuckled, “It’s silly, isn’t it?”

“No, not really”

 He nodded, “I guess I needed to remind myself of why I’m doing all of this. The last time I had my hair like this…I was still just a kid, before I had this kind of life”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah” He laughed, breathy, “I remember, at that time… I dreamed of debuting and making it big, and I was so…focused. It was like I had tunnel vision. I never thought this far ahead or about the stuff that comes after you become famous. I guess I was naive. But now when I look at myself in the mirror, it’ll be like looking at the seventeen year old version of me, and maybe I can dream his dreams again”

You smiled, running your hand across his jaw, “You’ve come so far, Hyun. I’m…really really proud of you”

His eyes crinkled as he looked at you, “You are?”

“Of course” You shifted onto your knees, to caress his cheek better, “I think you’re one of the strongest people I know”

Hyunjin’s hands landed on your thigh, and he laughed bitterly, “Thank you…but if I was actually strong, I wouldn’t have had to come back to town, or go through all of this shit”

Your heart clenched, and you nodded, “Right…”

If he was strong, he wouldn’t be here.

Maybe you were happy that he wasn’t strong.

A wave of guilt washed over you, so you turned away. 

You’d overstayed your welcome, and…Mina would be waiting for you.

Hyunjin’s hand on your wrist stopped you, “Wait. That’s not what I mean, Y/N”

“You don’t have to explain, Hyun” You spoke, putting your feet on the ground, hoping the cold floor would wake you up, but the floor was warm, warm like the bed, like his embrace.

Hyunjin stopped you from getting up. 

His grip on your arm pulled you back, closer to where he sat on the bed.

He explained himself, “No, I mean…I don’t regret it, at all. I just wish it was under better circumstances, you know? Coming back home…”

You wish it was under a better situation too.

You turned to look at him, “Yeah…but what did you really get out of coming back? A…drama-filled summer, a splitting headache, and…a really messy haircut”

Hyunjin’s eyes widened, “You think it’s messy?”

The tension was forgotten in seconds, and you couldn’t help but laugh, “Your bangs are…like completely messed up. I take it that this was your first time trimming it yourself, without a team full of stylists to help you”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me before” He narrowed his eyes, “What do you mean they’re messed up?” 

“They’re really uneven. It’s cute…but maybe you shouldn’t go out with this hair” you said, watching how the strands fell to his eyebrows.

“So, let me get this right. While I was baring my soul to you about my dreams, you were thinking about my hair?”

A giggle escaped you, “Maybe you can fix it”

His eyes widened, “You…you know how?”

“No…but…I can try”

“Okay, follow me” He got out of bed, gesturing for you to follow him, and you didn’t think he meant right now. 

He stepped into his bathroom, clearing the counter, and you noticed how tight his sweatpants suddenly seemed, stretching at the crotch.

You kept your distance, watching as he placed a box of tissues, and toothbrush holder to the side, trying not to focus on that. It was distracting.

You knew how anatomy worked, and you knew he couldn’t control that he woke up with morning wood, but it still made your brain fuzzy, like a stupid girl in love.

“Okay” He looked up you, and your gaze flickered back up to his face because there was no way you’d be caught staring at his fucking crotch.

“I’ve never done this before, so if I mess up…you can’t be mad at me” You spoke, as he hopped onto the marble counter, legs dangling off. He looked cute, staring up at you.

You don’t even know how you got here, from bringing him coffee this morning to napping in his bed, and to now attempting to cut his hair.

He ran a hand through his hair, “You just need to trim the ends, make it even, right?”

“Yeah” You stepped up to him. 

His shoulders relaxed, as he leaned back on the counter, “You’ll be fine. It’s not that hard”

You reached up to brush back his hair, “I mean, I think you did a pretty good job already. How long do you want them?”

“Just so they don’t fall into my eyes…” He told you, craning to look at himself in the mirror behind.

“Do you have a towel?” You asked.

His eyebrow shot up, a teasing smirk on his face, “A professional, are we?”

You rolled your eyes, “It’s just so it’s easier to clean, Hyun”

He smiled, pointing back to his room, “There should be a new one in my closet, on the upper shelf”

His wardrobe was surprisingly organised as you sifted through it, trying to find the towel. 

Your gaze landed on a ribbed burgundy t-shirt; you’d never seen him in it before. A silver zipper ran till the chest. You couldn’t even imagine how good he’d look in this.

“Did you just get this?” You asked, walking back with it, along with a towel.

Hyunjin was reading the label on a candle he lit, and he looked up at you, “Yeah. I haven’t got a chance to wear it”

“Oh, okay”

His lips tugged up, “You want me to put it on for you?”

You flushed, putting it back, “No, I was just curious”

“I’ll wear it for you later” He laughed, knowing you far too well because you’d never have asked, but you needed to see him in it.

Placing the towel on his lap, over his taut sweatpants, you hoped it would also serve as stopping the very obvious distraction. He didn’t even seem embarrassed or affected by it though. 

He hummed, “Thank you”

You laughed, tossing the hair in your hands, “Thank me after I’m done, this may turn out to look like shit”

“It won’t” He assured you, and you grabbed your phone.

“What are you doing?” He asked, “Texting while I’m asking you to help me?”

“I’m not texting” You rolled your eyes, tilting the screen to show him.

He read off your screen, “Step by step: How to a man’s hair”

“I don’t wanna mess up” You explained.

He giggled, loud laughter filling the bathroom, “Oh my god. You’re referring to a Wikihow article? I am truly doomed”

“They’re helpful sometimes, asshole” You pout, “We need to get your hair wet”

He nodded, leaning onto the mirror behind him, as you ran your hands under the sink to get them wet.

“It’ll be easier if I get in the shower” He suggested, and you glanced at him.

There was a smirk on his face at the recommendation.

“I…don’t think that’s necessary” You stated, flushing under his stare.

“It’s not like I’m going to get naked, Y/N” He laughed, “Don’t worry about it”

You shook your head, running your hands through his bangs to get them wet, droplets falling into his eyes. His eyes fluttered shut, and the drops of water trailed down his neck.

“Your shirt will get wet though” You added quietly, trying not to fixate on the trail of water that had made parts of his shirt see-through.

He blinked, wet hair falling into his face, “We should probably take it off then”

“Yeah” You swallowed, paused in your movements.

Hyunjin laughed, “Oh come on, it’s not like you’ve never seen me shirtless. You seem embarrassed—”

You immediately tugged at his shirt, pushing it up his chest, perhaps to prove that you weren’t affected by this. His eyes widened, and he clearly hadn’t expected you to take the initiative, but he smiled to himself, lifting his arms up, so you could pull it off completely. 

Once you got it over his head, and arms, he was flushing red.

“I don’t know Hyun” You hummed, “You’re the one who seems embarrassed now”

“Stop” He laughed. 

You tried not to get distracted, but in the soft light of the bathroom, his muscles seemed even more pronounced, the twinkle in his bellybutton catching your eye more often than you’d want.

You took in a deep breath, holding a hairbrush up, “Here goes nothing”

“If you ruin my hair, you should know some stylists in Seoul are gonna be very unhappy”

You laughed, untangling all the knots, “So…no pressure then, right?”

He shrugged, “Mmh, none at all”

“And they’re not going to be unhappy with your dye-stained hands?” 

He held his palms up, staring at them, as you pulled his hair taut, “It’ll wash off soon enough”

“Close your eyes” You spoke, “I don’t want to hurt you”

He nodded, and you carefully trimmed the front ends, choppy pieces of his bangs falling onto the towel in his lap. You had to make sure it was even, as you measured it roughly, and you’d never been a hairdresser but all those years engaging in crafts surely came handy now.

“You’re quiet” He spoke.

“I don’t want to mess up”

Hyunjin’s hand suddenly found it’s way to your waist, and you stilled, scissors in hand, “Unless you want me to accidentally stab you in the eye…don’t do that…not without warning”

He glanced up at you, despite the precarious position, gulping, “Sorry”

Just as he was about to move his hand back, you stopped him, “I…I didn’t say you have to stop touching me”

Realisation passed over his face, and he nodded, gripping you tighter.

Now that he held you, you felt more anchored, confidence flowing. You focused on what was left of the task, trimming the rest of his bangs as he watched you. 

Any other moment, you would feel conscious, because you were the only thing he was looking at, but today you didn’t.

“Are you almost done?” He asked, voice soft.

“Almost” You promised, putting the pink scissors away, to look at him.

The light-brown bangs fell just above his eyebrows, growing longer at the side, tucked behind his ears. The rest of the hair brushed his bare collarbones, almost a mullet in the back, shorter in the front.

There was barely anything to even fix, and maybe you just needed a dumb reason to be so close to him again. He knew that too, yet he indulged you.

You let yourself stare at him, seconds stretching into minutes.

It was perfect.

“Is it… all right?” He asked.

His eyes were blown wide, and curious, teeth biting into his plush lower lip, with apprehension.

“It’s beautiful, Hyun” You admitted.

His smile grew, “Really?”

You nodded, putting away the towel on his lap, “If you went to my school, everyone would have had a crazy crush on you”

His eyebrows shot up, “That’s…random”

You bit your lip, “I’ve been thinking about that a lot”

“About…school?”

“No” You shook your head, “About how things used to be. Everything seemed simpler back then”

He nodded silently, as if understanding exactly what you meant. After all, he’d just been talking about a similar thing -- about how things were easier before he debuted.

“Did you…have school too?” You asked him.

He laughed, “Of course I did”

“In Seoul?”

He nodded.

“Why didn’t you just go to the one here…in Daejon? Isn’t this your home?”

He smiled, “I had to go to the academy every day to train, before and after my lessons. It would have been impossible to travel so much if I was in Daejon”

“So you never visited home? What about your aunt? This is her place, right?”

He nodded, “It is, I’m taking care of it for her while she’s away”

“And your parents?”

“They moved with me to the city…” He explained.

“Do you miss them...now that you’re here?”

His gaze softened, “Yeah, I do, but…even when I was there, I couldn’t meet them often. I would try to talk to my mum every day at first, but over time that became…really tough”

“Why?”

“I was just…insanely busy. Not that it’s an excuse, but I just let myself get carried by the work, by the... responsibilities and what was expected of me”

Your hands gripped onto his bare shoulders, “When you go back, you’ll be busy again”

“Yeah”

“When do you even make time for yourself, between…all of that?”

He shrugged, “I...don’t. That’s why I cherish moments like this the most”

“I see” 

He tilt his head, “Do you think we’d be friends…if I went to your school in Daejon, instead of in the city?”

“Probably not”

Hyunjin frowned, “Wow. You didn’t even have to think about that”

You smiled, apologetic, “No, I just mean…I’d probably be too intimidated to approach you, and…you’d definitely be dating the most popular girl in high school”

He rolled his eyes, “Stop. That would never happen”

“Right. I forgot you don’t date”

His eyebrows knit together and he tilt his head, “You know that’s not what I meant”

You absentmindedly fiddled with the string on his sweats, twirling it within your fingers, “Hmm”

“What kind of girl were you, in high school anyway?” He asked, lazily leaning back against the mirror, allowing you a more prominent view of his collarbones, and his bare chest.

“What do you mean?” You laughed, “I was…the same”

His eyes were full of amusement as he watched you speak, and you couldn’t comprehend how…easy this felt. How domestic. 

Hyunjin sat across you, shirtless and just in sweatpants, as you talked about the most mundane things at eleven in the morning.

Is this what it’d be like? 

If he let himself love you?

“Minho told me differently”

Your eyebrows shot up, “What did he say?”

Hyunjin laughed, eyes crinkling into crescents, “He just said you were different, that you were…much louder”

You tilt your head, “As all teenagers are”

“He also told me you failed Art once”

You gasped, “He did?”

Hyunjin giggled, “Wanna tell me what that was all about?”

“The professor…felt differently than me. I actually had a full-blown argument with him in class” You recalled, “Man. I don’t think I’d do that today. I kind of regret it”

He smiled, “I’d love to see that. I’ve never seen you…angry. If it makes you feel any better, I’d definitely fail that art class too”

You laughed, “Why?”

He leaned forward suddenly, closing the little distance between you, “Why do you think?”

You lost your train of thought, getting swept up in his gaze, “I don’t know…”

“I would be too distracted… staring at you” 

Your heart sank, at what could have been, “Yeah…”

He laughed, breathy, “I’m sorry. I…shouldn’t say stuff like that, right?”

Your chest felt heavy, eyes landing to the floor, or anything else, “Yeah. You shouldn’t”

“But you have to know” He cupped your cheek, tilting your chin to look at him.

“Know…what?”

He swallowed, “That…I wish everyday for things to be different, and sometimes I wish I was just a boy you met in high school, instead of…who I am right now”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing” You frowned.

“It’s true. Things would be simpler if I was just…some Hyunjin, wouldn’t they? A nobody”

“No... Hyun, you can’t wish for that. You worked so much to be this. You are who you are, because that’s who you’re supposed to be”

“Supposed to?”

“Aren’t you the one who was reading all about stuff that fate earlier? Don’t you believe that you’re here right now in this part of your life, because you’re meant to be?”

He frowned, “Does that mean I’m…supposed to suffer too?”

“Suffer? That’s…a harsh word”

“You don’t agree?”

You nodded, “Things would be simpler, of course…but you told me that you don’t mind the bad stuff, because you love what you do”

“So you don’t wish for things to be different?”

You swallowed, admitting, “Obviously it would be easier if you were just Hyunjin, a boy from my art class, instead of…a world-famous member of a band"  

“You should stop thinking of me that way” He interrupted, pulling you closer between his legs.

“Even if I stop thinking of you like that, it doesn’t change the truth”

His eyes were soft as he spoke, “Maybe you can forget about it for a day”

“Forget who you are?” You laughed, “Before I knew that about you, it didn’t matter to me at all, but now...it affects every part of your life…it’s hard to just ignore what’s real”

What happened with Jisung just further solidified that for you. Hyunjin had run away from the fame, but it still found him, festering into his heart and mind. Miles away, he worried about it, defeating the sole purpose of him coming here.

His thumbs brushed under your shirt, “I know, but just for a day, don’t think about that”

“What should I think about then?”

“Think about how nice it’d be…if we were in another world, where I wasn’t me”

You frowned, “But who you are is... perfect. I don’t want that to change”

He closed his eyes, “I know you don’t…I’m sorry. I know it’s upsetting, but…I wish for a lot of stuff”

You leaned closer, brushing your thumb against his jaw, “What do you wish for?”

He leaned in, gaze piercing through your soul, “I wish for…a normal life. Wouldn’t I be happier then?”

Your heart stirred, “We all suffer, Hyun, even when we lead normal lives”

Hyunjin’s hand slipped around your neck, the space between your mouths almost negligible, “You want to know what true suffering really is, for me?”

“Yeah?”

“Being this close to you…and not getting to have you in the way I want”

Your voice trembled, “And…what way is that?”

“In every way that’s possible…I want you”

You moved in the same breath that he did, crushing his mouth to yours, before he could even finish speaking.

It didn’t matter who moved first. Your lips were on his, and he let out a satisfied groan, as you swallowed his words, his breath, his taste.

Your hands slipped into his freshly-cut hair, frantic as you kissed him, and he devoured you in open-mouthed kisses, and you could feel it all the way down to your toes, within the crevices of your heart, within the depths of your soul.

It was electrifying, the way he gave into you, like it was muscle memory at this point.

“Y/N-” A groan escaped his lips, between pecks. His hands slid around your waist. He pulled you flush to the counter until your hips met his, thighs closing around your body to trap you in his embrace.

A bottle of hand-soap knocked over onto the floor, as did the pair of scissors you’d held so delicately before, and earlier it was so tranquil but now it was so rushed.

He tilt his head, mouth crushed against yours, and it was already messy, saliva dripping down his chin, but you didn’t care.

Not after what he just said.

He tasted of lazy Saturday mornings, of books about fate, of home.

He tasted fucking perfect.

“Let me make you feel good” You whispered, “Please, please, please”

Despite the growing lust, he was still fucking polite, shaking his head, “No, let me-”

You pushed your tongue into his mouth to interrupt him, words slipping out in a rush, “You don’t have to suffer, not when it comes to me”

“I know” He whined fervently, in a heated daze. You were both burning up, and it was so hot inside this room, but he was the hottest boy that had ever existed. You wanted to do so much, but your time together wasn’t infinite, and the things you wanted to do to him were.

“Please let me do this” You mumbled, pecking his lips over and over.

“What are you going to do?” He whispered.

You fingers rest in his hair, and you pulled at the strands to tilt his head back with enough harshness to make him whine, allowing you access to his neck. 

Within seconds, you pressed a trail of kisses down his throat and jaw, nipping at his ear. 

“Fuck-” He moaned, as you bit onto his neck. Your other hand travelled up his body, fingers brushing against his chest, and his hips bucked up into nothing.

You should be more careful. You wanted to be delicate, but you couldn’t stop, and he couldn’t either, as he slowly rocked his hips against yours, to relieve the friction.

Hyunjin was restless, squirming, as you did so, and he suddenly whined, “Baby, don’t mark me”

You pulled back to look at him, “Why?”

His eyes were half-lidded but clearly he was still thinking straight, panting, “Someone… could see”

The disappointment must have been evident in your face because he immediately kissed you, whispering, “You can do anything else to me, I’m sorry”

You indulged him in the kiss, feeling his tongue in your mouth, as he explored you, grip strong on your jaw. His other hand pushed your sweatshirt up, and his lips were so fucking swollen, dripping with spit - yours and his.

It was messy, his hair was wet, and his hands were stained with dye as they travelled up your body, tracing each curve, under your sweatshirt. They brushed the wire of your bra, and he immediately paused, puling back to ask for permission.

Hyunjin had touched you before, but he’d always been so fucking respectful, never going into unfamiliar territory. Despite the heat of the moment, his eyes were shy, as he silently asked you if he could go further.

“You can…keep going” You nodded, pressing your lips to his again. 

It was all the approval that he needed, before his large hands squeezed your tits and you moaned, “Hyun-”

“Last night-” He began speaking, voice hoarse, “I wanted to touch you so fucking bad”

“Me too” You breathed, “You made me crazy…with what you said. I’m sorry I couldn’t come over”

“I’m sorry too” He apologised so sweetly, but he groped you so filthily, fingers pulling back the lace of your bra, ”I’m sorry I couldn’t make you feel good, when that’s all I ever fucking want to do”

He made you clench, “Fuck, Hyun I promise when I came over this morning, I…I wasn’t expecting this”

He shook his head, kissing the corner of your mouth, “I know, I know, you were just being so fucking sweet, you’re always so sweet”

“I was— I was just so worried about you” You admitted, but every word was difficult when you couldn’t breathe. Every word was difficult when his tongue slipped into your mouth, and you gave up on speaking, to just taste and devour him.

“I know. You care about me far too much” He mumbled, pulling back to gaze at you.

“Does it still hurt you?” 

“If I say yes--”

“I’ll make it go away” You promised.

“How?” He breathed, chest heaving, wondering what you could possibly do to take away the pain.

Your hand landed on his lap, and he was clearly so turned on, and you gently squeezed him through his sweatpants.

A loud moan escaped him, back arching at the sudden sensation, “Oh my god…”

“Is it okay if I go on?” You asked, against his lips.

“Please, I might die if you stop”

You smiled at his words,“You’re hard”

“I know” He chuckled, eyes half-lidded.

“Is that because I kissed you?” You teased, pecking kisses down his jaw, as you palmed his cock through his sweats, “Or is it because I’m touching you?”

“It’s because you’re you” He groaned, head thrown back against the mirror.

Suddenly, a buzzing caught your attention, and your phone vibrated against the bathroom counter. Still, you didn’t stop touching him.

“Baby…” He moaned, his voice was hoarse, trying to find his way to a sentence, “Your…your work”

“Don’t think about that right now” You told him, kissing under his ear, sucking over the sensitive spot, “Just let me take care of you”

Your hands hovered over the string of his sweats, “Can I?”

He nodded, frantically, “I told you. Do whatever you want...to me. You don’t even have to ask”

“Okay” You undid the knot, loosening the waistband of his sweatpants, and Hyunjin held his breath, abs clenching tightly, as you slipped your hand inside, feeling him bare.

He let out a whimper, “Oh god”

Your fingers wrapped around his entire length, and you’d touched him before, the first time that you kissed him, but things were different now.

“Fuck” He grit his teeth, “If I don’t last long-”

“Don’t worry about that” You told him. It was stupid and silly how your brain short-circuited; all you could think of was how hard and big he was. 

“Wait-” He interrupted, and you looked up at him, wondering if he changed his mind. Instead of asking you to stop, he grabbed your hand. 

You watched, curious, as he lift it to his own mouth, his lips wrapping against your fingers, wetting them.

It dawned on you what he was doing, and maybe you were so far gone that you’d forgotten how to even do this, and you felt embarrassed, but Hyunjin didn’t let you feel embarrassed for too long. The sight of him with your fingers in his mouth was so absolutely insane that you had to remind yourself to stay still, and not pounce on him in that very moment.

He pulled them out, with a pop, spit trailing down his swollen lips, “It’s easier… this way”

You immediately slipped your hand back into his sweatpants, tugging at his cock. It was easier now with spit on your hands, and it was better as you gripped him tightly. He was so warm, leaking already, and you wanted to just feel him inside you.

It was only the morning, and maybe that’s why he was flushing red, squirming as you touched him in broad daylight, and he pressed his mouth to yours, too shy to look into your eyes.

Too shy, but far too turned on, as his cock twitched with every tug of your hand, hips bucking to feel more of you.

Your grip was steady, thumb brushing against his tip and you learnt that he loved that, because his whines got louder when you did, curse words escaping his lips. 

“Oh my god” He groaned, and his mouth fell open, eyes squeezing shut.

“Do you like that, Hyun?” You asked him, “You like being touched?”

“Fuck. You’re going to make me come so fucking fast” He mumbled, embarrassed, hands gripping the marble counter.

Your pace increased, squeezing him every other second, and it had been so long since you’d given a handjob that you would get tired but of course he was helping you out, rocking his hips into your hand to match your pace.

He was unable to keep still, knuckles turning white, sweat dripping down his chest, drenching his abs.

He was so sensitive, and it was tough because your hand was restrained by the elastic of his sweat, but he kept squirming, so you gripped his thigh with your other hand, “Stay still, Hyunnie”

“I can’t” He whimpered, a tear slipping out, “It feels so good”

You kissed the edge of his mouth, as his moans got louder and your pace increased, hand gliding up and down with ease. It would be easier if his sweatpants were off, but you’d lose it if you saw him like that.

A loud ringer threatened to pull your attention away.

“Someone…someone is calling you again” He breathed.

“They can wait” You cut him off with another kiss, and his hips bucked up into your hands, legs wrapping tight around you.

“Y/N-” He moaned, the veins in his neck strained as he held back. 

Your phone was ringing, but you didn’t care about it right now. You’d been interrupted countless times in the past, and today you would make him feel good, no matter what.

“Faster?” You asked.

“Yes, please” He pleaded.

You picked up the pace, squeezing his cock tightly and he bit down on his lip, harshly.

“I just wanna be buried inside you” He blurted, cheeks red, chest heaving, “I can’t imagine how good you’d feel”

“I’d let you do anything to me too, you know?”

“Really?”

“You can fuck me, anywhere… anytime that you want”

He swallowed, “Shit- I want that now”

You leaned closer, pressing your chest to his, “You want to fuck me?”

He bit his lip, “Y-Yes, but-”

He was so whiney, and it was so easy to tease him, “But you’re not supposed to. We’re not supposed to do this, right?”

“I don’t give a fuck about that. I need to be inside you. I dreamt about you, every night” He blurted, and you learnt that perhaps forbidden love was his turn-on.

“What do you dream about?”

“I dream about — Fuck. I dream about you, on top of me, and about - it’s so inappropriate”

“Tell me, please Hyun”

He nodded, wanting nothing more than to please, “I dream of tasting you, and I can’t imagine how sweet you’d taste, and I think about waking you up in the morning, and — ” 

He seemed like he was losing it, beads of sweat dripping down his forehead, specks decorating his collarbones, and you were losing it too, at his words.

“Do you touch yourself to it? To those dreams?” You asked him, squeezing him again.

Tears brimmed at his eyes from the pleasure, and he shook his head, “I want to, but is that...is that okay with you?”

You smiled, kissing him, “Are you asking me if it’s okay?”

“Yeah” He breathed.

You pecked his cheek, and his ear, while stroking his cock, “You can think about me all you want when you touch yourself”

“Fuck” He groaned, “I’m so close. Please don’t stop, please”

“What do you need?” You whispered.

“Let me touch you” He begged, and you nodded, so his hands found their way to your body. 

He pulled you close, pushed your sweatshirt up, just enough to catch the lavender lace of your bra, in the early afternoon sun, “You’re so fucking hot”

You ran your fingers through the freshly-dyed hair, and when he felt your nails against his scalp, he moaned loudly, and you learnt that he loved having his hair pulled. 

You pulled at his hair, and his hips bucked, thrusting up into the air, head falling back, and with another tug inside his sweats, a loud moan escaped him.  

“Fuck—” He groaned, pink lips parting, eyes squeezed shut, cock twitching as he came in your hand, soaking you.

Small whines left his lips, and he rest his head against the mirror, and you continued touching him, and his legs trembled from the pleasure and the pain, until he was done.

It was only a regular Saturday morning but it was the most beautiful moment in your life.

You learnt that you could never feel as satisfied, as you did right now, revelling in his orgasm.

You stopped, in awe of him, until his breathing returned to normal. His hair was sticking to his face, and you pushed it back, and his chest was moving rapidly.

Hyunjin’s lips were bitten red and swollen, a sheen of sweet dripping down his abs, as he tried to catch his breath.

“Fuck” He muttered, opening his eyes to look at you, after he’d finally calmed down.

Slowly, you slipped your hands out of his sweats, and he noticed the mess he’d made, “Fuck, I’m so sorry. That’s-”

“Don’t say sorry” You told him, kissing his cheek.

“But I…let me clean it up” He felt embarrassed, post-coital haze taking over, and he reached for a tissue, wiping your hands with it.

You smiled at his tenderness.

He was red all over, as he wiped his release from your hands, “I’m sorry”

“Hyun” You interrupted him, “Relax”

His shoulders slacked, and he nodded, “Okay”

Like clockwork, your phone rang again.

Hyunjin’s gaze drifted to it, reading the caller ID, “Are they gonna be mad at you?”

“I don’t care” 

His eyes searched yours, and he nodded, and his cheeks were so red, and he was so endearing.

“How do you feel now?”

He let out a chuckle, pulling you closer, “What do you think?”

“I don’t know” You teased, nails grazing his abs. You were turned on beyond belief, the sight of Hyunjin like this enough to make you go insane, but it wasn’t about you right now, it was about him. 

When you got home, you’d think of him and this moment, and make yourself feel good.

You’d think of the moans, and the feeling of his cock in your hand, and you’d imagine it was him touching you.

“I promise this wasn’t my intention…when I asked you-”

“I know. You just wanted help with your hair” You interrupted him.

He laughed, “Yeah…and you helped me”

You tucked his hair behind his ear, still not used to his new look, “You look perfect, Hyun”

“I’m embarrassed” He admitted after a while, “I’m sorry if I was pushy or-”

“You weren’t” You assured him, only half-joking, “Now I know what I’m gonna be thinking about at work”

His eyes shot to yours, widening, “Y/N…”

You laughed, wrapping your arms around his waist, “I’m kidding”

“What about you?”

You laughed, “What about me?”

He smiled, coy, “Isn’t it my turn now?”

“Your turn to what?”

He leaned forward, voice dropping, “You’re…you’re not wet?”

You swallowed, because of fucking course you were, and then your phone rang again, for the fifth time in a row.

“I…I should get that” You stuttered, stepping away from him.

You don’t know why, but…you weren’t ready.

You weren’t ready for him to see you like that, even though every part of you wanted him. Maybe because you knew it couldn’t last. You feared that if Hyunjin touched you even just once, you’d never feel the same again.

So, you answered the sixth missed call, “Hello?”

Hyunjin watched you from where he sat.

Mina’s voice came in, “Oh my god, I thought you died or something”

“Yeah, sorry. I…wasn’t feeling well. I’ll be there soon” You replied, staring at the cabinet and how he’d arranged everything beautifully — a black cherry candle on the top shelf, a cerulean blue hand towel, and a tiny glass jar of hair-clips.

Your gaze darted to Hyunjin’s, and he was putting on his shirt now.

“Okay, I’ll see you there” Mina spoke, hanging up.

“You have to go?” He asked.

You turned to him, “Yeah, in a bit”

He stepped closer to you, “Are you all right?”

You nodded, “Mmh. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He smiled, pressing you into the counter, “Because you didn’t answer my question”

Your eyes widened, “Hyun-”

“I hope you don’t think of me as one of those guys”

“What guys?” You laughed.

“The guy… who’d let you just go to work without taking care of you too”

You gulped, “You don’t have to take care of me”

His expression fell, “You don’t want me to…?”

“No, it’s not that”

“Then tell me what it is” He asked, leaning in.

“Hyun…maybe later” You told him, “Mrs. Aera…will really hate me if I don’t show up”

He sighed, “Yeah. No one could ever hate you, though”

“Let’s not wait and find out” You laughed, grabbing your phone. As you headed for the door, Hyunjin watched you from the bathroom counter, but suddenly spoke, “Y/N”

“Yeah?” You turned.

He leaned in, pressing his lips to yours. Your heart jumped at the suddenness, and the kiss was so soft, so slow.

“Thank you” He said, pulling away, just slightly, “For…cutting my hair”

“Of course” You smiled. His fingers brushed against the skin of your stomach, and he pulled you close again, finding your mouth with his for the second time in the same breath.

Immediately, you kissed him back, and his tongue slipped into your mouth, deepening the kiss.

“Thank you…for…” He mumbled again, between kisses. 

This time…you knew he wasn’t referring to the haircut.

Your mouth hovered close, nose touching his, “Don’t thank me, Hyun. I’ve only been dreaming about it forever”

“So...you dream about me too?” He asked, looking right into your eyes.

You laughed, hands coming up to his chest to push him away, “Shut up”

“Wait” He leaned in to kiss you again. You let yourself melt into his embrace, and you wanted to ask what the hell happened to his no-dating rule, and all of his damned rules about love, but you didn’t.

A chuckle escaped you, “You have to stop thanking me…”

“No, you just…you make me feel so good” He whispered, “I don’t deserve it”

Your eyebrows shot up.

Where did that come from?

“Hyun, I’ll be late” You told him, and you were crazy for willingly pulling away from him, but you wanted to respect Mrs. Aera and her time. 

There was no hurry. Hyunjin wasn’t going anywhere right now, and you’d have all the time in the world to kiss him when you got back from work.

There was still time.

“We’re meeting at the Creek later tonight, right? Yeonjun might come too”

“Tonight? I almost forgot about your futile mission to make me love Daejon again”

He pouted, and you wonder how he could look so adorable after doing something so filthy, “Don’t call it futile”

“We’ll see who’s right” You hummed, adjusting your sweatshirt.

“Have a good day at work”

You felt like teasing him again, just a bit, “Maybe you should change your sweats after I leave”

He flushed red, “Stop. You’re the one that couldn’t resist me, and all just because I changed my hair”

You narrowed your eyes, “Unfair. You win”

He smiled, cheek dimpling, “I know”

»»————-

Work felt a lot like hell that afternoon. 

As you sorted through the new paint, all you thought of was him.

His moans haunted you, his nose scrunching in pleasure, spit trailing down his swollen lips.

What came over you to do such a thing?

How did he let you?

The answer, of course, was simple enough.

Fucking lust. Or love. For you, it was both.

It seemed like he’d realized that you couldn’t stay away from each other, and you were thankful that you didn’t have to pretend to resist each other anymore. 

“Acrylics?”

“Huh?” You looked up from where you were bent on the floor, hands buried in bubble wrap.

“Could you pass me the acrylics?” Mina repeated, standing tall on a ladder, trying to stock the upper shelves. 

“Right. Sure” You reached into the cardboard box behind you. A new edition of paint bottles lay there, named summer pastels, and you handed it over to Mina.

Just a few hours more that you had to make it through.

You were meeting him and Jun by the Creek later for a night swim, and the thought of seeing him so soon again excited you. There was so much to do with him and you were looking forward to the rest of the summer.

He definitely seemed eager to explore the rest of Daejon, and you had to take him to the night market, the summer solstice festival in the park, to a paintball fest, the list was endless.

You wanted to teach him your favourite techniques about art. He’d asked for your help after all. You’d help him excel in watercolour, and gouache, and maybe he’d love impressionism. It was surreal, and dreamy just like him and you could imagine the landscapes you could paint together.

How amazing would that be?

If you and him worked on a painting together.

Your styles were so different, but they’d meld together so well, and you’d let him take the lead. You could imagine how proud he’d feel.

You hope you wouldn’t get too distracted and caught up in each other, and would actually finish the painting, and god, it would be so hot if there was paint all over him-

“You’re distracted” Mina pointed out, stretching to reach the upper shelf as she stocked new sharpies.

“I’m just tired” 

She smiled, “Thinking about a boy?”

“What else did you want me to hand you?”

“You’re cute when you’re flustered, Y/N”

“I’m not flustered. I told you…I’m tired”

Your phone buzzed, and you immediately reached for it, before realising that you were technically at work, and you shouldn’t be so eager. 

Still, Mina caught onto that.

“Oh my god” She laughed, “Who is he?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” You put your phone face down, so you wouldn’t be tempted to check. 

“Yeah you do” She smiled, “Don’t be embarrassed of it”

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed of, because nothing is going on” You felt like a broken record repeating that, but it was the truth.

Your phone buzzed again, and you peeked at the messages. 

They were from Seungmin.

seungmin:

hey yn

i think you may be at work but I can't get in touch with hyunjin

whenever you do, can you ask him if the refund for the last payment came in?

you:

refund for what?

seungmin:

the art classes

at the château 

he was registered for the whole summer before, but since he’s not attending them anymore, we’re refunding him

you:

what?

he cancelled the classes?

“Y/N. I arranged the colors the way you like. Is it okay?” Mina interrupted, and you looked up at her, confused by what you’d just learnt.

“Yeah. It’s okay” You mumbled, reaching for your phone again.

“Can you please text whoever he is after work? I need some help with the canvas” She asked.

You nodded, “Of course. Sorry”

Hyunjin probably had a really good reason for cancelling the classes, maybe it was getting too expensive for him, and you’d ask him about it later.

“Which one even is he?” She asked.

“What?”

“Which boy?” She grinned at you.

“It’s just Seungmin” You told her, “And you’re one to talk”

“What?” She asked.

“Earlier when I came by…I saw the daffodils. Who’s the secret admirer, Mina?” You laughed, turning the tables on her.

She laughed, stepping down from the ladder, “Those were for you, dumbass”

“What?” You glanced up at her, heart jumping.

“They’re in the back room. Since you didn’t come for the morning shift, I put them in some water so they wouldn’t die”

Your eyes widened, “Can I go see?”

“Of course, but come right back please. I need some help with the easels”

Hyunjin sent you flowers?

Why didn’t he tell you? He must have wanted it to be a surprise, and you immediately stood up, dusting the dirt off your jeans as you made your way to the back room. 

The daffodils were peeking out from a cut-up plastic water bottle, a stark contrast to the natural beauty of the flowers. Your heart melted. Mina had done her best, going so far as to putting them on the one shelf of the storage room that got sunlight.

As you stepped closer, the scent overwhelmed you. It had been so long since you’d gone to pick any flowers. 

The petals were delicate to your touch, and you turned the bouquet around. There was no note attached from him.

The flowers were enough though, and you smiled to yourself, making a mental note to take them home with you, and put them on the windowsill by your bed. 

You would thank him later. 

You wanted to cheer him up anyway, and since you were going to the Creek tonight, you knew the perfect fucking way to do that. You just couldn’t wait for him to see it.

“They’re gorgeous, aren’t they?” Mina asked.

You turned to see her standing by the door, “Yeah. They’re so beautiful”

“Someone is waiting out there for you” She nodded back toward the shop.

“Oh, I’ll be right there” You grabbed the fragile water bottle, carrying it back out with you.

You stopped in your tracks as you entered the shop again.

Curly hair falling to her shoulders, the color of rose-gold, heart-shaped glasses balanced atop her nose, she was flipping through a Daejon brochure.

“Yuqi?” You exclaimed.

She looked up, immediately pushing the glasses up her head, and her lips tugged into a gorgeous smile.

“Seems like you’ve been up to a lot while I’ve been away” She grinned, pointing to the tourist brochure in her hands.

“I’ve been up to nothing” You laughed, stepping up to pull her into a hug, holding the flowers in your other hand. 

“Fuck, it’s been so long” She hummed.

“When did you get back?” You asked, placing the temporary vase on the cash counter. You leaned against it, turning to face her.

She looked like a dream in denim dungarees and a tube top.

“I drove in early this morning. I was running a few errands for Yeonjun since then”

You crossed your arms, “Oh, he’s already making you work for him?”

She rolled her eyes, “Unfortunately, as his twin sister, I have no choice but to do it”

“What errands does he even have?” 

“Ice-cream to aid his broken heart”

“Oh” You pouted, “He told you about that, huh?”

“Texted me crying last night” She shrugged, “That’s kind of why I drove in last minute. I wasn’t supposed to come home until the fall”

You smiled, “I’m glad you’re here. I’m sure he will be too”

“I’m like the worst therapist” She laughed, “But…I have dealt with assholes and heartbreak before, so I may just be the perfect person”

Your eyes fell to the brochure in her hands, “What are you even reading that for?”

“There’s a beautiful picture of you in it" She said, waving the paper around.

“What?” You grabbed it from her, flipping through the pages.

It was the new tourist brochure for Daejon, and just like she said, there was a picture of you.

It was from the Paint and Wine event at the Château. 

You were painting, smiling at someone off-camera, and you knew that it was obviously Hyunjin, but he hadn’t been a part of this frame.

Maybe that was better since you didn’t need any rumours around town. Still, it remind you of that night and how beautiful it was, well… until the part where Hyunjin told you he could never be in a relationship, or let himself love someone.

You folded and kept it away, looking back at Yeonjun’s sister.

“You said you drove here? From Busan?”

She nodded.

“You brought the red pickup?”

She laughed, not one for nostalgia or outspoken love, “Sometimes I think you love me just for my car”

Just outside the store window, was parked her gorgeous red pickup truck. You had countless memories associated with it — nights Yuqi would sneak you and Felix out for drives, to the night markets and candy shops in Samhae, up the hill, to the river when Minho had his fishing phase in school.

Observing your wistful expression, Yuqi smiled, “Don’t tell me you’re reminiscing high school already, Y/N”

“I’m not!” You defended, “But it was kind of fun. It was simple”

“It isn’t now?”

You shrugged, “Things have changed a lot since you were last here”

She stepped up to you, “I already know about Hana and Jun’s fallout; what else happened?”

You didn’t even know where to start. Yuqi had always been like an older sister to you, even though technically her and Yeonjun were the same age, but you’d hardly kept in touch ever since she moved.

She’d been so busy in her life, and there was so much she didn't know about you.

You fiddled with your charm bracelet, wondering how to sum up the best summer of your life, “I uh, I met a boy”

Her eyebrows shot up, “What the actual fuck? Tell me everything”

“Sure, but I have to help out Mina too” You laughed, moving back to the supplies, “You’re coming tonight, right?”

“To the Creek? Yeah, Yeonjun told me he’s going” She questioned.

“You should come! You can meet him there”

Her eyes widened, “The boy you met, he’s coming tonight too?”

You smiled, “Yeah. It was actually his plan to go in the first plan”

“Fuck. Is he cute?”

“Mmh. He is” You laughed, pushing the cart of supplies towards Mina as she stocked them, rolling her eyes at your and Yuqi’s conversation.

“You ladies are not passing the Bechdel test” Mina laughed, from the top step of the ladder.

You glanced up at her, “You know what that is?”

“Of course. How dumb do you think I am” She laughed.

Yuqi leaned against the shelf, crossing her arms, “What is the Bechdel test?”

“Like...a way of figuring out if a film or book represents women without the stereotypes or sexism, and in order to pass the test, the book should have more than one conversation between women...which isn’t about men” You explained.

Yuqi laughed, “Well, fuck me. You’re still telling me all about the hot boy you met this summer. The Bechdel test can sue me”

»»————-

Hyunjin was waiting for you by the forest trail, later that night. Liquid dripped from his lips as he sucked on a cherry, and he had a bunch in his hand.

He looked adorable, hands tucked into denim jeans, his hair pushed under a baseball cap. 

“Where did you get those?” 

He glanced up, a small smile on his lips, “Hey” 

He pulled into a half-hug because of how messy his hands were.

“Hey” 

His lips were redder than ever, juice from the fruit dripping down his neck. It did something to you, and you looked away, not wanting to relive your thoughts that overtook you at work. 

He bit into another cherry, “I picked them out earlier by myself. At first, I wasn’t sure how to know which ones are fresh, because back in Seoul, I just buy them from the 7/11 under our dorm, but I don’t know, there’s something truly satisfying about picking your own fruit, you know?”

“Wow. How will you ever adapt to living in the city again?” You laughed.

His eyes crinkled, “Very sadly”

“I got your flowers, by the way” You smiled.

His eyebrows shot up, “What flowers?”

“The daffodils…that you got me?” You laughed, looking up at him.

Hyunjin seemed confused, which confused you further, “Um…”

“You…weren’t the ones who sent me those?”

He shook his head, an unreadable expression on his face, “No, that…wasn’t me”

“Oh okay. Never mind... How long have you been waiting here?” You asked, wanting to change the topic because that was fucking awkward, tugging your tote bag higher up your shoulder.

“You’re not late. I just got here early” He explained.

“To pick cherries?”

“Nope, I just needed to get out of the house”

“Oh. How do you feel now?”

He sighed, biting into another cherry, “It could be much worse”

“Oh…”

“But, hey, at least my head doesn’t pound anymore” He joked, as you arrived at the Creek.

The moon was supposed to be bright tonight, according to the forecast you looked up, but clearly nothing was going to plan, and everything that had happened since this morning had been all kinds of unexpected. 

The water was enveloped in darkness, and it felt like you were looking out into nothing.

Yongbok had always fed you tales of the many elves, faeries, and sirens that lived in the deepest abysses of your town. Stories of otherworldly creatures that inhabited the depths of the Creek, which would only reveal themselves in the deep of the night, concealed in the shadows. 

Obviously you’d never seen one, but you weren’t stubborn enough to tick their existence off the list.

He had told you those stories many times before, and you didn’t believe them, not really. 

Still, staring out into the dark right now, you did feel a little on edge.

The water was mostly still, as all of the little streams led to this spot, pooling in this gorgeous area. You thought it was beautiful how every river across your town ended up in one place, bringing together each corner and story of Daejon - forming a whirlpool of the lived memories.

To be honest, if there were any chance of otherworldly creatures existing in the entire universe…they probably would be residing in the cool cerulean blue water of the Creek.

“What are you thinking?” His tender voice, calmer than the waters, pulled you out of your fantastical thoughts.

Looking up, you saw him stood by the edge of the cliff, on the same rock he had jumped off months before, but you didn’t know him back then. He was but a stranger to you at that time.

You did know him now, at least you think you did -- over the weeks of peeling every layer of what made up Hyunjin, you knew so much of what made him, him. 

“I was…just thinking about how Yeonjun is late” You told him, crossing your arms against the cold breeze.

Hyunjin’s lips curled up, “He’ll be here”

“I hope he didn’t ditch us” You stared back at the dark water.

Hyunjin laughed, “Of course not. I think he’s just running late”

“You seem fairly confident when you’ve known him for less than a week”

He chuckled, stepping closer to you, “We can get in the water. We don’t have to wait for him, you know?”

You swallowed, “Get in the water, like…just me and you alone...together...?”

“Yeah”

Hyunjin standing there right now, looking like this, did not help your emotions. 

Chocolate brown strands framed his face, grazing his cheeks, and the rest was pulled up into a bun, messy, uneven, so fucking attractive.

And even if all those tales Yongbok and the town-dwellers told you were false, Hyunjin was the closest thing to an ethereal, out-of-this-world, ripped straight out of a fantasy novel creature - that you'd ever see. 

If those stories had been written in today's age, they would probably all be about him.

The t-shirt you'd picked out this morning fit him far too well, the zipper stopping at his chest, burgundy sleeves hugging his arms and biceps just like you wish he would hug you.

You were surprised when you’d seen him in that, and you definitely hadn’t been subtle enough this morning. 

He tilt his head at you, “Is there a problem with that? If it's just you and me in the water, alone?”

Was there?

The hint of a smile made it's way onto your face, and you reached up to untie your halter top, and even the fiercest creatures in Daejon couldn’t intimidate you right now as much as he did, “No...there's no problem at all, Hyun"

His eyes fixated on you, as you slipped off the top, revealing the swimsuit you’d picked inside. Light-pink, it hugged your body far too tightly, but he didn’t seem to care. 

He stared at you, unabashedly, unashamed, as you kept the top to the side, with the rest of your stuff. His eyes flickered over your body, and then back to your face.

“Your turn” You told him, crossing your arms.

“Okay” He chuckled, reaching up behind his neck, to take off his shirt, and your pulse went frantic and you felt so silly.

Hell, you’d seen him shirtless only hours before, but it was never enough, and he looked so fucking pretty in the moonlight.

You reached for the button on your shorts, popping it open, and Hyunjin watched as you slipped them off your legs, stepping out of them. It was chilly tonight, and you bent down, to put all of your stuff inside your backpack, and you were so fucking excited to show Hyunjin what you’d been planning. He would love it so much—

“Jisung called me”

You looked up, “What?”

“Yeah” He released a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair, “Sorry. I’m ruining this moment”

“No...that’s okay. How is he doing?”

“As good as he can be right now, but...” He sat down on the rock, staring at the water, “I feel bad that I’m not with him”

“You’ll see him in a few weeks though, wouldn’t you?”

Hyunjin swallowed, “Yup”

You’d been expecting that Hyunjin would feel better after…what happened earlier this afternoon, but maybe it was naïve and stupid of you to assume that. You couldn’t change his life circumstances. You made him cum, you didn’t fix all the problems in his life. 

You felt defeated, because he certainly didn’t seem to be in the mood for this.

And why should he?

His best friend was going through shit, and he could do nothing about it. 

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” You asked.

Hyunjin glanced up at you, “Do what?”

“Swim. We don’t need to. I know you’re not in a mood to…we’re only doing this for me—”

“No, I wanna do this” He interrupted, “Did I…made you feel like I didn’t?”

“Maybe we can just wait for Yeonjun” You spoke, joining him on the rocks, “He must be close”

He nodded, crossing his legs on, “Yeah, he must be. So who do you think the flowers are from?”

You turned to him, pulling your knees to your chest, confused, “I don’t know. I…just assumed it was from you”

His face fell.

You smiled, to reassure him, “Don’t worry. They’re probably sent to the wrong person. Or maybe they’re consolation flowers for not getting the apprenticeship”

Hyunjin frowned at the mention of that, “Once I get back to Seoul, I’m definitely giving a piece of my mind to that shit company”

“What?” You laughed.

“They’re crazy to deny you” He expressed, turning to you, “Have you thought about…applying to another?”

You glanced at him, “Another program?”

“Yeah” He wrung his hands together.

You shrugged, staring at the dark water, “Not yet. I’m not proud enough of my work to send my portfolio again, and I’m…not really over the rejection”

“So, what, you’re gonna just give up?”

You shook your head, “No, of course not, Hyun. I’m just gonna take some time off”

“You can’t do that”

You frowned, the urgency in his tone unmistakable, “Why…? Isn’t it a good thing to take time to myself?”

“No, because-” He turned to you, grabbing your hand, “You’re so fucking good at what you do. Right now, there will be so many chances…and opportunities that you could get. Do you know how many companies I auditioned at before I got selected at Pegasus?”

Your face softened, unfamiliar with this urgency,  “No, I…didn’t know that, Hyun”

There was so much you still didn’t know about him.

Realisation sank into his face, “Yeah. Well, it was a lot. If I’d given up, do you think I’d still be here right now?”

So much you yearned to know.

Why did he choose to audition in the first place? What made him even go after this profession? 

And then more. Stuff about his life that didn't matter, or maybe it did.

Who was his first kiss? What was his favourite book? His worst heartbreak? The first girl he fucked? Your curiosity would rip at the seams and maybe it would never end, because the things you wanted to know about him were endless, and now that time was slipping away, it was the only opportunity to stop thinking and start asking him all of those things.

There was no point in dwelling on the what-ifs. 

Hyunjin was here now, and you would not hold back anymore.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?” He glanced at you.

“Stay so fucking positive, despite everything. If I was in your place, I think the apprehension and fear would have killed me”

His lip tilted up, “It’s not always this way. This year is just not a good one for us. I guess because people are finally beginning to know who we are, it just invites so much more hate, and anger”

“I don’t understand people”

“I know” He sighed, “But for the amount of hate, the love we get...it cancels out all the bullshit”

Hyunjin spoke of love in so many ways, except one.

“Like…” You picked at the pebbles with your nails, lowering your voice, “Some people are so evil”

Hyunjin nodded, “Mmh, but let’s... forget about them tonight. For the time we have left, I don’t want you to spend it inside your head”

“The time we have left...” You repeated, and you would forget about those people tonight, because tonight was special, “I have a lot of things I wanna do with you”

“You do?” He looked at you, voice unsure.

“Yeah” You smiled, “You’re going to love it. There’s so much stuff that happens the end of summer, like the solstices festival, and I still have to teach you so many of my favourite techniques! So I...I was thinking that we could paint together—”

He swallowed, “Maybe we should just take it one day at a time, Y/N”

You stopped mid-sentence at his words, “Oh”

You were getting carried away.

Hyunjin sighed, realising what he’d said, “Because…I mean, you know…eventually, I’ll have to go-”

It just reminded you that this was so temporary.

Your thing with him was temporary — whatever that thing was.

Hyunjin would just walk out of your life, and his life would go on as it always did.

Was there a point to what all you had planned, if he was never going to see you again after that?

“Yeah I know” You interrupted, “Let’s get in the water”

“Y/N…” He spoke, reaching out to your cheek, “We came here for a reason, right? You love this place, and so you’d have a good-”

“I am having a good time” You stood up, standing by the edge, and you would.

Tonight was supposed to be special. 

He joined you, staring at the drop, arms crossed, “Are you gonna ask me to jump again?”

You laughed, “You’ve done it before”

He glanced at you, biting his lip, “Together?”

It wasn’t that scary, but this was only his second time here, and so you took his hand in yours, letting him grip you tightly.

And then you stepped forward into nothingness, stomach lurching at the sudden drop.

You’d jumped off this rock a hundred times before, but this time you still didn’t feel prepared. 

The cold water swallowed you both, and for a minute or what felt like hours, everything was blank.

It was black, and blue, and freezing, and you couldn’t see where he was, and your head pounded with the pressure, and for a second, you feared your worries would weigh you down until you couldn’t come up — 

But then Hyunjin pulled you up out of the water, holding you tight.

You gasped for breath, taking in fresh air, yet it still felt like all the oxygen had left your lungs, because he was touching you so close.

Hyunjin shook his head, to get the hair and water out of his eyes, “Fuck. The water’s fucking freezing”

“It is” You shivered, drifting closer into his arms, to share in his body heat.

The water finally settled around, ripples from your jump dissipating, and if there were any creatures in the water they surely would have woken up by now.

“This is what you missed about Daejon? Freezing your ass off? I can see why you hate this town”

You laughed, loudly, gripping his shoulders, “Shut up. It’s nice if you let it settle”

His teeth chattered, and he was so dramatic because it wasn’t that cold. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him to you, “It’s better than a cold shower”

“What do you even love about this?” He asked you, “It’s better in the morning. It’s warm and I don’t get hypothermia—”

You grabbed his chin, making him look up.

He did, mouth parting, in awe of the view.

The stars had never been as bright as they were tonight, and he sucked in a sharp breath, “How is it so clear? It’s…even better than the hills”

“There’s no lights here, so you can see them much clearer”

Hyunjin’s gaze stayed up to the sky, as he watched the stars twinkle.

“Shit, isn’t that gorgeous? I can see all the constellations from down here” He spoke, “Wait, I think I know that one. It’s Cassiopeia”

Your heart stung at the reminder, but you calmed yourself.

One day at a time.

Tonight would be great.

You tilt your body back, floating on the water, and Hyunjin held onto your waist, drifting with you in the cesspool of your lived memories.

Time felt like it stretched into hours, as you watched the stars move so slow, as the Earth spun, and Hyunjin’s fingers kept you rooted to reality, and your perception of everything was different here. 

You almost expected to look up, and be back in the past somehow, and the thought was terrifying because as much as you wanted things to be good again, it couldn’t happen at the cost of Hyunjin.

The stars blinked, disappearing every other second, reminding you of a memory you’d forgotten - you’d actually planned something for him, and you were going to miss it, because you were stupidly stuck in the past, when your present was already so perfect.

“Fuck” You straightened up, “We need to get out of the water”

There was something Hyunjin needed to see. 

And it had to be now.

“What?” 

“We might have already missed it” You immediately swam back to the bank, and Hyunjin followed, confused why you were getting out of the water so early.

“Missed what?” He laughed, as you lifted yourself out. The wind pricked your skin. You slipped on your flimsy top, and there wasn’t any time to wear your shorts and you can’t believe you fucking forgot about this.

How lost were you?

“Why are you getting dressed?”

“It’s…like your thing on the Château” You told him, grabbing his hand to drag him away from the water and into the woods, not wanting to spoil it anymore.

“What thing?” He stumbled after you, still dripping wet from your short-lived swim.

“The town lights on the hill. Remember you showed them to me?” You spoke, as you pulled him through the underbrush.

“I remember” He was confused, following as you ran through the clearing, into the denser part of the woods. The sound of crickets surrounded you, drowning your little gasps of breath as you ran through.

The leaves crunched under your hurried footsteps, pushing past the twigs in your way.

You hadn’t been there in a few years, but there was no better time to revisit.

He had to see, and he had to now.

He would love it, you know he would love it so much.

If anything in Daejon could make him feel grateful and happy, it was this place. 

“But where are we going?” Hyunjin almost whined, trying to keep up with you. He was much taller so it should have been easier for him, but he was still stumbling through, clearly not used to the wilderness and the city boy inside him was peeking out.

“We’re almost here!” You promised.

“Can’t you at least tell me—“

Your abrupt stop made him bump into you, and he put his hands on your shoulders to turn you around, “What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Did you step on-”

“I want you to close your eyes”

His eyebrows shot up, “What…?”

“Just…” You grabbed his hands, “Please listen to me and don’t ask any questions”

He laughed, amused but slowly closed his eyes, and you grabbed his warm hand in yours. You lead him deeper into the clearing, and he hesitated.

“Don’t make me fall into a ditch—”

“Just trust me, Hyun” You told him.

“I do trust you. I just don’t want to get hurt blindly walking through a forest” He asked, stepping over the leaves, and pebbles that he felt under his feet.

Your smile grew, as you finally made it to the clearing, a view prettier than anything in the entire universe.

You hadn’t come here in ages. 

You turned to face him, catching your breath, “Okay. We’re here”

“Where? Can I open my eyes now?”

You laughed, because Hyunjin was such a hopeless romantic, but he was so impatient too.

Amongst the Daejon woods, was a clearing, where the terrain was flat, and the woodland plants grew tall - a mix of orange and purple flowers, surrounded by thin weeds. 

But, the most beautiful part of this clearing, was what you’d brought him to witness. 

“You can open your eyes, Hyun”

Confusion painted his face, in the form of suspicious furrowed eyebrows, until he finally looked up, realising just why you brought him here.

His mouth fell open in awe, eyes widening, as he took in the scene.

“Oh my god”

Soft, twinkling lights illuminated the entire clearing.

A hundred of them, bright lights, flying above the canopy, like stars shining through the canopy.

Stars that flew around, bumping into each other, creating paths and patterns that could never be replicated even in constellations.

Fireflies.

Hyunjin’s eyes were lit up, mouth parted in amazement like never before, watching the little lightning bugs illuminate the dark woods.

“Oh my god” Hyunjin repeated, a chuckle of disbelief escaping him. He clutched his stomach tightly, as if he couldn’t believe he were here, turning a full circle to take in the view.

“There’s so many of them” He breathed.

A smile overtook your lips, voice soft, “Do you like it?”

He turned to you, pure adoration in his eyes, like a kid on Christmas morning, like a boy in love, but not with you, with what you’d done for him.

“How did you know they would be here?”

You shrugged, coyly, “A coincidence”

His gaze softened at your words, “You planned this”

“I did…I wanted to show them to you”

He looked up again, getting distracted in the way the fireflies flew above the canopy, “It’s so beautiful”

You swallowed, “I wanted to show them to you…before you have to leave. I thought it’d make you feel better, even if only temporarily. I know you’re having a hard time, and I just thought you should see this because—”

When you looked up at him, he was staring at you, not the fireflies anymore, an unreadable expression in his eyes.

His gaze pierced through you, and then flickered to your lips, “Thank you”

You swallowed, suddenly nervous as you looked up at him, “Earlier you said you wish you had a different life, and you’d be happier somehow and I want you to know that’s not true. You can be happy in this life, I know we still have a lot of time, but I don’t want to miss any moment—”

Hyunjin cut you off, pressing his lips to yours.

You let out a noise of surprise, as his arms gripped you, pulling your body closer to his. You stumbled into his embrace, immediately kissing him back. His chest was still glistening with water droplets, and his hair was dripping, sticking to your face, to your lips.

Cold, and wet fingers grabbed your cheek.

His mouth felt hot on yours, as he pressed his chest to yours, wasting no time in pushing his tongue into your mouth.

“Hyun-” You whined, pulling back an inch to breathe, but you didn’t want to breathe anything except his taste.

“I have to tell you something, Y/N” 

At first you thought you misheard him.

“W-what?” You paused.

He kissed you again, holding your face in his hands, “It's...very important”

His voice was suddenly heavy with emotion, and you realised that no you did not want to know.

You’d push your curiosity to the side, and fuck that, because you didn’t want to know anything that would break your heart, and what Hyunjin was going to say definitely would.

“I don’t wanna know. Not now. Just kiss me, please”

Hyunjin’s gaze softened, “Are you sure?”

“Please” You pressed your mouth to his, “I just want you right now”

“Y/N…” He breathed, against your lips.

It was hard to speak, and you didn’t even know what you were feeling at the moment, “I just want tonight to be perfect, and I want you so much”

“Okay” He breathed, pulling your face back to his, and you kissed him, trying to erase everything he was going to say, and this could have been a beautiful moment but perhaps you weren’t the only self-destructive one.

Perhaps it was far too perfect for Hyunjin to handle, and that’s why he was trying everything he could to destroy it, but you wouldn’t let him.

So, you kissed him, until you both sat on the grass, and your knees touched the forest floor. He was on his knees too, holding you to him, hands clutching your face to still have the semblance of control. 

You kissed him until the pebbles and rocks under you stopped hurting, leaving imprints on your skin forever just like he had.

You kissed him until he’d swallowed all your tears, and until denial tasted just like the cherries he had sucked on. 

You kissed him until he was hard, and he mumbled, “Baby...”

He pressed you to the floor, crawling on top of you.

He never broke the open-mouthed kiss, and everything was so wet, with your spit, with the water from the Creek that still hadn’t dried off, with your soaking underwear. 

His weight on top of you was new, and it was unfamiliar, and you don’t know when it would ever happen again, so you tried to memorise it. Your hands sifted through his freshly-cut hair, and it remind of you this morning, and of how beautiful he’d looked, and how different things were.

Hyunjin at seven am was so different from him now.

You wanted to learn him, and discover who he was at every hour of the day. 

Hyunjin’s hands grabbed yours, and in a single move, he pinned them over your head, taking control of you.

Your hands pressed into the grass, and the rocks, and you were at his complete mercy.

“I…couldn’t focus on work today because of you” You complained, when he pulled back to breathe.

“What were you thinking about?” He whispered, kissing the corner of your mouth, pushing his knee between your legs.

“Fuck” You mumbled, and his other hand dropped to your stomach, holding your body down, and it was so fucking sexy you couldn’t stop your whines, “About how pretty you look, about how big-”

He let out a groan, pushing his hardening cock against your swimsuit bottoms, “It’ll feel more perfect when I’m inside you”

Blood rushed to your head, and you tilt your head back, as he planted kisses all over your collarbone. His hand slid under your sweater, squeezing your tits in his hands as he grind against you.

You wanted to touch him, but he didn’t let you, keeping your hands at bay, and it was so fucking hot and you were so wet.

“This swimsuit…is so fucking adorable on you” He mumbled, fiddling with the strings of your bikini bottom, “Is it okay if I touch you?”

“Yes, yes, please”

Why was he even asking?

And then he pressed his fingers into your core, over the thin fabric, and you almost passed out at the touch.

“Fuck” You moaned, squirming, “Don’t tease me”

He nodded, swallowing your whimpers, “I won’t. I was just making sure you’re ready”

“I am” You all but begged.

“I know” He smiled against your lips, and true to his promise, pulled the waistband of your pastel-blue panties forward. 

You could still see the fireflies from here, the twinkling lights in the sky, and you wanted to remember how that looked, but Hyunjin was rolling his hips against yours, and you couldn’t focus on anything else.

You let out a loud moan, when his hand slipped inside your underwear, and he was so fucking sweet as he kissed your cheek, “Will you let me finger you now, baby?”

“M-”

“Y/N?” A familiar voice interrupted, echoing in the woods, and Hyunjin immediately stopped, pulling back to look at you.

“Did you hear that?” He asked you, eyes half-lidded.

You were so distracted by his dilated pupils that you didn’t register that someone was calling your name, and you would have chosen to ignore it, but Hyunjin was already standing up, pulling you to your feet.

“Y/N?” The voice sang again.

“Shit” You cursed, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Who is that?” Hyunjin asked, fixing the straps of your top, pushing them back onto your shoulders.

You ran your hands over your face, trying to gather your bearings, but your head was filled with a cloud of lust, “It’s…her”

His eyebrows shot up, as he tugged your sweater over your swimsuit, “Who?”

“Y/N?” The voice called out again, as footsteps ran out into where you were. 

She stopped, feet skidding against the dirt, as soon as she saw the two of you.

Hyunjin turned to her, eyes widening.

You flushed with embarrassment, because if you heard her…that means she definitely heard you moan.

She stood still, staring at the two of you, and it would almost be comical if you didn’t feel slightly ashamed. 

Her rose-gold hair was pulled up into two ponytails, a red swimsuit hugging her curves.

“You must be Hyunjin” She blurted, “I’ve heard so much about you”

“Oh” He trailed off, looking back at you, and you could see he was trying to restrain the hard-on in his swim-shorts.

You were still so lost, head fuzzy, because what was Hyunjin going to tell you before you interrupted him?

Yuqi looked apologetic, “Sorry I ran in here, I parked my car and then I saw your clothes out by the rocks, and I assumed the worst, like you never know what goes on in these woods, there could be some serial killer, and I literally fell asleep watching Friday the 13th last night, and if you’ve seen that, you’d know that—“

“I haven’t seen it” Hyunjin interrupted her.

“Oh. You should. It’s…nice”

“I don’t really like horror movies” 

“I’m Yeonjun’s sister” She added, an awkward smile.

“Ohh. You look like him”

“Yeah. Cause we’re related”

She looked around the glade, “Did she bring you out here to see the fireflies? I swear she and Felix are so obsessed with thi—”

“Where’s Yeonjun?” You interrupted.

“He’s already in the water” She jut her thumb back towards the water, “I’ll see you guys there!”

She ran back through the woods, and it’d be funny if you didn’t feel so frustrated. You and Hyunjin had horrible timing…or maybe it was fate’s way of saying you weren’t supposed to be doing this.

“She definitely knows what we were doing” Hyunjin spoke, softly, hand slipping inside his shorts to adjust, and you looked away.

“Yeah, but you can trust Yuqi. She…won’t tell anyone”

This was reckless. There were a lot of kids and groups from town that hiked in the woods, especially in the summer.

Hyunjin was already dealing with scandal upon scandal, he didn’t need you to make it worse.

His gaze fell to the floor, “I’m sorry for getting carried away. That was stupid”

You nodded, “Yeah. It was”

“We should be more careful” He mumbled, but you could see the frustration in his eyes as he began walking back.

You followed him, trying to calm your breathing, “It’s a good thing it was just her”

“I didn’t even know Yeonjun has a sister”

“Yeah, she lives in Busan” You told him.

“She has a car?”

“Yeah”

“I was going to rent one” He spoke, as you fell into step with him.

"You were?” You turned to him, “What do you need a car for?”

He shrugged, pushing through the rustling leaves, “I…got us tickets to something”

“Well, I’m sure Yuqi would let you have it for an evening. You don’t have to rent one”

“That sounds good” He nodded, shooting you a soft smile as you finally caught up to Yuqi and Yeonjun, who were already in the water. 

They were splashing each other already, asking you to jump in.

Hyunjin headed to them, but you reached out to him, “By the way, tickets for what?”

He laughed, looking sheepish, “Can that part still be a surprise?” 

»»————-

Fortunately for you, the curiosity about the surprise only lasted for a day.

“You’ve never seen Jaws?” 

“I’m not really a monster movie kind of guy” Hyunjin replied, arms crossed against his chest as Yuqi gaped at him, an almost comical expression on her face.

“Does that mean you’ve never seen Chucky either?”

“I happen to like dolls, and I don’t want to change that”

They’d only known each other a little more than a day, and were already comfortable enough with each other, thanks to the hours spent last night swimming and getting to know each other. 

“You’re fucking kidding me” She stated, then turned to you, “Where did you find this guy?”

“Leave him alone, Yuqi” Yeonjun replied before you could speak, and you laughed.

“No, because monster movies are easily the best genre!” She told Yeonjun, who’d already stopped listening, and was checking the tickets on his phone. 

The drive-in theater was busy tonight, as a crazy amount of families and couples had come out to watch the iconic screening of Jaws. 

Hyunijn had insisted that you come here tonight, another thing off your list that you’d mentioned to him, and the fact that Yuqi just happened to have a car — was a cherry on top of a perfect coincidence.

When they’d learnt of your plans, Hyunjin had been kind enough to let them come along with you, because he enjoyed their company as much as you did.

You don’t know why Hyunjin was rushing through the things, but you couldn’t complain. 

Every summer, cars would line up until Mrs. Erin’s noodle shop, and a huge projector and screen were set up, facing the woods.

They usually played the same movies on loop, so you’d already got tired of the the same blockbuster tropes. Being Yongbok’s friend, you had had no choice but to indulge in every single one of these films.

Still, tonight was different, because Hyunjin was here now.

Every time you came in the past, you would borrow Yuqi’s car since her pick-up truck had space in the back to squeeze all of your friends, with thick blankets and enough snacks to last double-features. Her truck was also ideal for star-gazing and movie nights like this. 

You stood leaning against it, in the minutes before the movie began. As of now, they were only showing previews and trailers, as everybody parked their cars.

“I’m not a fan of watching people get ripped apart” Hyunjin replied to her, his voice low.

“Can’t believe you’re a softie” She tilt her head, as if analysing him top-to-down. Hyunjin’s cheeks turned red at her scrutinising gaze and he turned to you, for help. 

He looked extra adorable today, in a white button-up shirt, and faded boyfriend-fit jeans.

You laughed, pushing the pebbles at your feet, “You’re on your own, Hyun”

He sighed, turning to Yuqi, “It’s not that I don’t enjoy the thrill, I just prefer to indulge in a different kind of …excitement”

“Yongbok must hate you” She laughed, “He’s obsessed with those movies. Have you two met yet?”

Your eyebrows shot up, and you saw Hyunjin stiffen. 

You spoke, before he could, “Um, yeah they have”

“How did he approve of you then?” She asked, eyes wide.

“Yongbok doesn’t have to approve of anybody” You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. You two just don’t seem like you’d get along” She told him. 

Hyunjin’s expression was calm, and reserved as she said that. You realised that while you’d heard plenty of opinions from Yongbok about him, you had no idea what Hyunjin felt about him.

Hyunjin smiled, “He’s a cool guy. I’m sure if we hung out more, we’d get along”

His eyes landed on yours, and you agreed, “Yeah. I’m sure you would”

“So then what do you like? Don’t tell me you’re into that cheesy Notebook shit” Yuqi narrowed her eyes at him. 

“I’m sorry I just happen to have a more refined taste than you, Yuqi” Hyunjin replied, catching you and her by surprise as she gasped. You laughed, proud of how he’d already learned to deal with her.

“Okay. I see you, Hwang Hyunjin” She hummed, smiling at him.

“These tickets should get us a popcorn and soda combo. Is there anything else you need, guys?” Yeonjun asked, squeezing his phone back into his jeans pocket.

“That sounds good” You answered, “I can go get the snacks”

“No, me and Hyunjin will go” Yeonjun smiled, looping an arm around him, “Won’t we?”

Hyunjin smiled, shy gaze falling to the floor, “Yeah, of course”

They walked to the pop-up booths, and you and Yuqi hung back, watching the crowd filter in.

“He’s sweet”

“He is, isn’t he?”

“Where did you find him?”

You laughed, “I didn’t. Hana found him. Kind of”

“Where is she, by the way?” Yuqi asked, glancing up at you.

“I haven’t seen her since the party” You shrugged.

“Ah. The party Yeonjun went to?”

“The very same” You sighed, wanting to forget the nightmare Lakehouse party, “You and Hyunjin were talking a lot last night in the water. What about?” 

She waved a hand dismissively, “Oh. He was just asking me about Felix”

You turned to her, “Felix? What did Hyunjin want to know about him?”

“Just a lot of random things, it wasn’t an important conversation"

What random things? 

You searched the crowd for the boys, but your gaze landed on a recognisable silhouette, walking away from you, clutching a tub of popcorn tightly in his hands.

Light blonde hair that stood out in the crowd, and he was in a leather jacket, and there was a grin on his face. You’d missed seeing that so much.

He looked so different, yet so familiar, and your heart ached in the wake of all that familiarity.

“Oh, isn’t that him right there?” Yuqi asked.

“Yeah. It is”

“Aren’t you gonna go say hi?” She laughed, confused at your somber tone.

“Um. I should. I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Of course. Tell him I said hi!” She smiled. 

You walked over to him and you felt nervous, but you had to have this conversation sooner, than later.

“Lix?”

He turned around at your voice, eyes widening in happy recognition.

Immediately, he smiled, his entire face lit up, “Hey. It’s been a while since I saw you”

You hadn’t seen or talked to him in what felt like forever.

“I didn’t think you’d be coming tonight”

He laughed, “Why would I not? You know how much I love Jaws”

“Right. I…remember”

“What are you doing here?” He asked, stepping closer, to hear you better over all of the crowd, and the sounds of the previews.

“I…” You trailed, point to the projector, “The movie”

“Right. The movie” He laughed, tub of caramel popcorn in his hands and Yongbok hated caramel so you wonder why he was holding it this tight.

“Are you here alone?” 

“No, I came with Eunbi” He responded, gesturing to where she probably was, not that you cared for that right now.

“Oh”

He tilt his head, “Did you get the flowers, by the way?”

Your eyes widened, “You…sent me the flowers?”

He chuckled, “Did you hate them or something?”

“No. I...” You trailed off, unable to comprehend why Felix would send you flowers, of all things in the world, “I love them. They’re great...”

Was that his attempt at an apology?

“I’m glad” His eyes crinkled.

“Yuqi’s here” You blurted, wanting to not talk about this any longer, because it just made no fucking sense.

“Yuqi?” He laughed, seemingly not affected by your ignorance to his gift, “She’s back in town?”

“Yeah. She drove in last night”

“From Busan?”

“Mmh” You nodded.

“She’s still the same?”

You smiled, “Yeah. She is exactly the same”

He looked around, trying to spot the iconic red pickup truck, “So you’re here with them then?”

“Hyunjin too” You added.

Felix’s gaze changed, and he nodded, “Right. Of course”

“Yeah”

He took a step back, smiling, “I guess I should let you get back to him"

Felix looked so happy, so much like his usual self, you felt safe again and you had to ask, “What did you…want to say to me? The other night, when you texted me?”

He laughed, except it seemed forced, “Um, forget that. I was just tipsy, and I was missing you”

You recalled his texts, “No, you said you realised why you’d been acting this way. What way?”

“Well…” He tucked his hands in his pockets, and stepped even closer. Under the lanterns, his eyes sparkled in a way they hadn’t before. Was it because it had been weeks since you’d seen him this happy, or was it just that you’d never gone so long without him?

“I yelled at you, at the cabin, at the party. The one you organised, just for me”

“I remember”

He sighed, “I’m sorry about that. It was…uncalled for, and I was an asshole, for doing that to you, when all you’d been doing was trying to make sure I had a good night”

“Why are you apologising to me now? All of a sudden?”

He shrugged, “I’ve been wanting to for a while. I just couldn’t find the right time, and then earlier this week, I was actually thinking about us. About the cabin, and-”

“Felix…”

“Do you remember that summer?” He interrupted, and even though you’d spent every summer the same way, you somehow knew exactly which one he was talking about.

The summer Hana and Yeonjun started dating.

The same summer you promised Felix you’d never let anything get in between you.

How did he know that you were thinking of it too?

Was it because you and him had spent your entire lives around each other, and he knew you so well?

“Yeah. I remember” You nodded, “What about it?”

“I miss that. I’m really sorry for getting frustrated at you, and overwhelmed. I was upset because-"

“Because you what?"

He shook his head, “It wasn’t just because of Hyunjin”

“Then what?”

He sighed, “That’s not important. What matters is…I’ve been thinking about that summer a lot, and how it was probably the best one of my life. We snuck out to Jeju, do you remember that?”

“I do. Your parents got so mad”

“They did” He laughed, “Anyway, so I was thinking…we could go for a swim soon, right?”

“Why?”

He smiled, “It’s the season of the fireflies. Don’t you remember?”

Your heart crumbled at the memories. 

You and Felix used to go there, every summer, to play with the lightning bugs.

Was it you that ruined everything? 

Felix tilt his head at you, “You all right, Y/N?”

You swallowed, because it was time to tell him what you’d been feeling, “No. I…keep thinking about how things used to be, and I miss that”

His gaze softened, “You do?”

You had to be honest now, “Do you think too much has happened…that things can never be the way they were?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…Hana and Yeonjun will probably never talk to each other again, half of it feels like my fault”

He shook his head, insisting, “It’s not your fault. They just weren’t meant to be together”

“You believe that?”

“Yeah. When two people are meant to be, everything in the world brings them closer, not further apart”

“And…what about you and Yeonjun?”

He shrugged, a playful expression on his face, “Maybe…we can be friends again”

“Really?”

“I…honestly don’t even remember what I was mad at him for. For breaking up with her, for leaving us, it doesn’t matter”

“And…Hyunjin?”

His eyes shot up to yours, “What about Hyunjin?”

You swallowed, “You and him…do you think you can ever be friends with him again?”

He shrugged, “Does it matter? He’s…going to move back to the city, and I’m probably never going to see him again”

“Why?”

“I mean…with his job, it’s not like he’s going to be visiting every summer. So I don’t think it matters if me and Hyunjin get along or not. We’ll hardly ever meet”

You nodded, the sting of Hyunjin leaving hitting you again, but then something Minho had told you came back to you, “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, you can”

“When we were fifteen, you said you’d look for the boy from the shop, but you…never told me you found him. Why did you never tell me?”

Felix’s gaze fell to the floor, “It was..futile. It would just break your heart, Y/N”

“What do you mean?”

He stepped closer, clearly wanting to explain himself, and his voice was louder now, because the movie was beginning to play, “I didn’t want to give you false hope. When I found out who Hyunjin is, I also found out what he was doing…training in some big-shot company that would basically own his DNA if he debuted. And he did debut”

“So?”

“So…there would have been no point if you even knew his name, Y/N. I didn’t want you to get hurt. I thought I was doing what was best for you. I’m sorry I lied”

Your gaze fell to the floor, because of course he made some kind of sense, it’s not like Felix was an evil person who would keep such things from you for no reason. He cared about you, and so he did what he could to protect you, even if it was wrong, “So is Eunbi your girlfriend now?”

“Where would you get that idea?”

“Seonmi told me everything”

Felix laughed, “Seonmi told you what she thinks she knows. We’re just sleeping together”

“Right. I should go-”

He stepped up to you, closing the distance between you, “You asked me if things can go back to the way they were”

“Yeah?”

“Why do you want that so badly?”

You frowned, “What…what do you mean?”

“I mean…Hana was a bitch to you ever since Yeonjun left her. You wanna go back to that?”

Your eyes narrowed, “That’s not what I meant”

“Then what did you mean? Do you even know what you want go back to?”

“Of course I know, Lix”

“No, I think you like hurting yourself. Why are you always chasing after things you can’t have? Like that art internship in the city. Like…him”

Your eyes widened, and you stepped back, sneakers skidding against the dirt,  “How…how do you know about that?”

He sighed, “Is that really the most important thing right now?”

You squeezed your eyes shut, “I was here to fix things, not to fight again”

Felix let out a breath, reaching out to grab your hand, but you stepped back.

“We’re just having a conversation, Y/N, I’m sorry if it makes you feel like I’m fighting you. Trust me, the last thing I want to do is to fight you”

“Then what are you even saying?” You mumbled, “Why don’t you want things to go back to the way they were? Don’t you want us to be friends again, Yongbok?”

“No, I don’t, Y/N”

“What?” Your eyes shot to his, because you hadn’t expected him to say that, “You…don’t wanna be friends with me anymore?”

His gaze fell to the floor, and he seemed nervous, until he looked back up at you, “I don’t think this is the best place for this conversation”

“No, Yongbok, if you’re cutting me out of your life-”

His eyes landed on someone behind you, “I’m sorry. I can’t have this conversation with you right now. I’ll see you later”

“What...?” You watched him walk away, heart sinking.

“Before you say anything, I tried my best!” Hyunjin laughed, and you turned around. He stood with Yeonjun, snacks in hand, smiling wide. 

“Tried your best on what?” You asked, a lump in your throat after that entire conversation.

“There were way too many candies at the stall. I didn’t even know there’s that many flavours of gummy bears” Hyunjin noted, and then extended a packet towards you, “So I got you guys a mix of them”

“Oh...thank you” You fought a smile, following them back to the truck. Yuqi had spread out all of the blankets, to make enough space for the four of you in the back.

“That’s perfect” Yuqi reached out, taking the pack of candy from Hyunjin, “A gummy bear orgy is just what we need”

“Gross” Yeonjun sniffled, climbing into the truck, crawling over to get comfortable.

You grabbed the tub of popcorn, balancing it on your lap so Hyunjin could hop into the back too. He slid in next to you, pressing you to the side, and you pulled the blanket over yourselves. 

“Are you comfortable?” He glanced at you, leaning into your ear to talk because the movie had already began.

“Yeah” You manoeuvred your legs over his, entangling them. His arm wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you closer, and it was easier to forgot about the conversation with Felix with his arms around you.

He smiled, dimples appearing, “Warm enough?”

“Yeah” You smiled, not wanting to ruin yet another night, “Don’t worry about it”

“The movie’s starting guys, save the pillow talk for later!” Yuqi whisper-yelled, leaning over to look at you.

“Okay, okay” You laughed, bringing your knees up to your chest, letting yourself get comfortable.

“Is the opening scary?” Hyunjin whispered in your ear to not disturb the others.

“A bit”

“Man” He mumbled, sinking deeper into the blanket, and it was cute how he tried to make himself smaller, “I’m definitely going to embarrass myself tonight”

“Why?” You laughed.

“I might scream” He mumbled, as onscreen a girl went out for a late night swim, while her boyfriend stayed on the beach. You, of course, knew what was coming next. 

“You can hold my hand, if it makes you feel better” You told Hyunjin, and he glanced at you, wondering if you were being serious.

“Are you making fun of me already?” He narrowed his eyes at you.

“Of course not” You smiled, reaching over to grab his hand, pulling it into your lap. 

“Is the shark gonna come now?” Hyunjin tensed up, as the music in the movie got louder, and he squint his eyes, preparing himself for a jump-scare. 

He squeezed the life out of your hand when the shark attached the girl. You watched with bated breath, as people in the drive-in theater started cheering, making you laugh. He was focused on the film with unparalleled focus, even though he pretended he hated it.

“You’re so fucking cute” You blurted, already feeling so much better, mid-way through the movie.

He looked at you, eyes still narrowed, “You’re enjoying my misery”

You laughed, “I am, but only because you look adorable” 

He pouted, eyes wide, “Why did I want to do this again?”

“Because you’re the sweetest boy in the world” You hummed, wanting nothing more than to kiss him, but you couldn’t, not here. Instead, you settled for staring at his plush lips.

It seemed like he was thinking of the same thing, because his gaze dropped to your lips, and he mumbled, “Y/N…We can’t. Not here…”

You were in public, surrounded by tons of families, and Hyunjin couldn’t engage in PDA like this, ever. After everything that was happening with Chan and Jisung, he couldn’t risk anything of this sort.

“Sorry” You bit your lip, moving back.

His eyes were half-lidded as he stared at you, “It’s fine. We just…have to be careful about this”

This. He acknowledged it, and that made you happier than you thought it would.

It wasn’t just mistakes, or built-up tension, or lust that had pulled you two together.

It was purposeful.

And you had to be careful about it now.

You felt lost in his daze, “Can I come over after this?”

“Actually. Could I come to your place instead?”

“Oh, of course”

“My place is just a mess” He laughed.

“I don’t really care. We can still go—”

“Let’s just meet at yours” He insisted.

“Of course” You settled back, a little confused.

You tried to focus on the movie, and you almost did, for a good five minutes before Hyunjin spoke up again, “It’s not that I don’t want—”

“Can you pass me the pop soda, Hyunjin? This fucking kernel is stuck in my throat, and it feels like I'm deepthro-” 

“Yuqi!” You interrupted her, “Why would you put that image in my head?”

She laughed “Just give me the soda, please”

Hyunjin blinked, looking back at her, “Shit. We… forgot to get that”

Her eyes widened, disappointing flashing through, “Oh. That’s okay. I’ll just go get some”

She stood up, the truck creaking under the sudden weight.

Hyunjin sat up too, pushing the blanket off himself, inviting cold air onto your legs, “No, that’s okay. I’m the one who forgot. You’ll miss the movie”

She shook her head, “I’ve seen it before. I’ll come with you, I’m already up” 

Hyunjin shot you a smile, “See you in a bit”

You nodded, watching them walk off, hurrying towards the food stands, so they didn’t interrupt the other cars' views.

Yeonjun bit into the leftovers popcorn, shifting closer to you, “More for us”

“You’re right” You laughed, reaching into the tub to eat some.

“Are you having a good time?” He asked.

You smiled, “Yeah. I am. How are you feeling now?”

“Yuqi’s a good distraction” He laughed, “She’s been taking care of me”

“She’s amazing”

“Can I ask why we’re here?”

“What do you mean?”

He laughed, gesturing to the drive-in theater, “I mean, you haven’t come here in ages, and then Hyunjin bugs us about doing a movie night literally the next day…even though he clearly hates the movie playing”

You stretched your feet out, “Yeah. We’re…checking off a list”

“A list?”

“Of stuff I love about Daejon. He thinks it’ll help me feel better”

“I don’t understand why you two don’t just…date” He laughed.

“It’s impossible, Jun” You bit your lip, “Especially right now”

“Yeah. I know” Yeonjun spoke, “Did he tell you what happened with Jisung? There’s going to be some big lawsuit, I heard, against the company”

“What?” Your head snapped to his, “Did he tell you that?”

“Some of my friends at work were discussing it, when I was on the video call earlier. Hyunjin didn’t tell you?”

“No…he didn’t mention that”

Yeonjun sighed, “It’s probably really shitty for him, to watch his friend go through that”

“I can’t even imagine what Jisung would be feeling” You stared at the screen, zoning out of the movie already, even though it was gearing up towards some of the iconic scenes.

“What’s taking them so long?” He wondered, “They’re missing the best parts”

You glanced around, but you couldn’t spot them anywhere, “They must be on their way. Are you missing your emotional support Yuqi?”

He rolled his eyes, “As if you aren’t missing your emotional support Hyunjin”

You laughed, “I can go check. Maybe they’re picking gummy bears again”

You made your way through the cars, as the movie continued playing in the background. 

Yuqi was walking back to you, soda in her hands. Why was she alone?

You looked around the parking lot, but you couldn’t see him anywhere.

“Hey” She shot you a smile, meeting you in the middle, “I finally got it out of my throat. Man that was so uncomfortable”

You laughed, “You...are so entertaining”

“I know” She grinned, grabbing your arm to lead you to the truck, “Come on, let’s go. I miss my dumbass brother”

“But where’s Hyunjin?” You asked, stopping her.

Yuqi sipped the soda, “Oh, he was right behind me. I’m sure he’s on his way”

“But the two of you went together. Is everything okay?

She glanced at you, but her voice was too cheerful to be authentic, “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be? I'm sure he’s fine”

Why did it feel like she was hiding something from you?

You narrowed your eyes, “Yuqi...tell me the truth, please”

She sighed, “He said he’ll join us in a minute. He told me to go back to the truck! Why would I question him?”

“You go back to the truck. I’ll go wait for Hyunjin” You dropped your arm from her grip, walking back over to the food stands. 

“Wait!” Yuqi made a noise resembling a grumble, and ran after you.

What if he got a call from the city, what if he wasn’t okay?

He wouldn’t just walk out of the movie like that.

The noise of the film carried across the entire area, and it was so loud now, the music swelling and escalating as the film geared towards another jump-scare. 

Frightful and excited cheers echoed through the parking lot, and your heart was pounding, from the bass of the speakers, and from the fear of not seeing him anywhere.

Where could he have gone?

You turned the corner from the dumpling stall, looking over towards the restrooms but the line stretched long, and he wasn’t there either.

You turned around to her, “Did he seem okay?”

Yuqi was cursing, wiping her shirt, “Fuck, I spilled my soda!”

You stepped forward, voice softening, “I’ll get us tissues on the way back, but Yuqi...was Hyunjin oka-”

Then you heard him.

Towards the exit, under the huge drive-in sign, were two silhouettes.

Hyunjin and Yongbok.

You were so far away, but you could see that they were in a heated discussion, of some kind.

“Do you know what that’s about?” You asked her, a lump rising in your throat.

Her eyes were wide, and she shook her head, “No, but Hyunjin told me—”

“They’re arguing...”

“Y/N, let’s just go back” Yuqi spoke, pulling at your arm.

You’d never seen Hyunjin like this. He seemed so overwhelmed, hand over his face as Yongbok talked to him about something.

You pulled your arm away from her grip, walking over to them, and they were so engrossed that they didn’t even notice you coming.

“When the hell are you gonna tell her?” Yongbok was saying, “After you were already gone-?”

“Yongbok” Hyunjin mumbled, breathing into his hands, “Please... try to understand”

He grit his teeth, “I don’t have to understand shit, Hyunjin” 

“What is going on?” You asked, but your voice came out shaky and you thought you’d cry. 

What the hell were they talking about?

You felt sick to the stomach, as they turned to you, like they’d been caught...

Hyunjin’s eyes widened, “Y/N”

You stepped closer, footsteps steady despite the absolute storm brewing inside your heart, “Tell me what...? Is everything okay, Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin looked defeated, as he stepped over to you, “I need to talk to you”

»»————-

⇐ masterlist ⇒

please let me know if you liked the chapter, or any thoughts on this part! thank you <3

if you’d like to support me and my writing, you can buy me a coffee here! thank you so much.

taglist:

@thebelljug @lovhyunj @imthecuteanimal @caratinylyfe​​ @princess-kayleigh​​ @lovelyyyou​​ @ermahgerd-larry-and-ziam​​ @murderyoursoul​​ @hyuneluvbot​​@hyunjinslovelys​​ @danyxthirstae01​​ @jamaisvu97 @lixvs​​  @lcvryu​​ @seungly​​  @hyuka-luvbot​​ @neochaeryeong​​ @xa21x​​ @mel-the-mad-hatter​​ @jellyjelly605 @beaann​​ @sadbixth11 @tae-kook-lover​​ @hyunzales29​​ @hyunhanji @imhyvnjin​​ @hyynee​​ @xpressomarstini​​ @hyyuniverse​​ @tulips4u​​ @kibblesnbites​​ @natskilou

@marsophilia @dragonyeon @yubinismn @yellowroseskolchek @lochness-butmakeitsexy @bangchan-simp @princehyun-jin @sunflowerbebe07 @hyuckie-lee @malachitehoe @leechanniee @lovesickgirl253 @itslinaaaa @lovingonchan @ladytrbl @putmetogetheragain13  @kangyounghyunhands @itsallaboutclassic @fwess @rie-cchi @w-a-v-ee @levantea @hyunelixies @a-person-with-void @jellyjelly111 @werewolves-onthe-loose  @simpsarzie @pumkiinpasties @hyunhoz  @xxencagedxx @agentsofsheilds @miadreams @cherrywithluvxoxo @emmie5168 @lixie-dori @thegoddessharmony @kathdearie @hyuniemie @byunhoebaek @hyunjinslittlestar @shiru-chan @bewitchedoracle @noteighteenanymore @tildisen @kenzielovescookies-blog @punks-rad @tomaytoess @vieysstuff @tanyas97 @sstarryoong @svintsandghosts @awkwardnesshabitat  @kookie04sstuff @hhyune-e @reighlee-greaves​

#hyunjin x reader #hyunjin imagines #friends to lovers #hyunjin fics #skz x reader #smut #angst #fluff #series #skz fics #star lost with you #hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x you

[chaestats]

Insecurity drabble w Hyunjin from SKZ!

Request by: anon

Warnings: mentions of ed!!!!!

Ask: "can you make like a drabble for hyunjin with a fem!s/o that has an ed pls? i got diagnosed a month ago, and lord there's literally no one in my life to help me 😨 so it'd be nice if you could do that"

A/n: before we get into it I'd like to say that I don't typically do this kind of content, but I am trying to expand my writings! thank you so much for requesting, love! I don't usually put a/n's but I really hope things get better. hope this helps!!!

Hyunjin, your boyfriend of six months, has been absent for a couple of weeks now. He's been incredibly busy with his new comeback and he appreciated so much how understanding you are. That's one of the reasons he loved you. For you.

You checked the clock, 23:48pm. You let a sigh of frustration as you sat at your shared apartment. Normally, at this time you'd be at bed, asleep. However this past month has been taking a toll on you, really. You never really had really good eating habits, per say but last month you were diagnosed with Ed. Of course, you never told your boyfriend. I mean, why would you want to stress him even more... he's already got so much to think about.

All you could bring yourself to eat today was an apple. And you felt so disgusted...just the thought of eating by itself scared you in a way? You didn't know exactly either, but if you could go for the rest of eternity without eating...you would.

You couldn't stop thinking about it. Just why, why, why did you have to eat this apple...? Why can't you stop thinking about it? Why can't you bring yourself to eat even if you're hungry? Why?

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a key at your front door. You quickly grabbed a tissue from the table and sat down on the couch attempting to brush away the tears that spilled just seconds ago.

"Love? You're still awake?" On any other day, the sound of your boyfriend's honey-like voice would have made butterflies run around in your stomach. But not today, not now. He couldn't see you like this.

"Y-yeah, I was just going to bed actually." You rushed out of the room, and in confusion Hyunjin put his jacket away and went into your shared bedroom just to find you laying down on the bed, with your back turned at him.

"Y/n? Can we...um talk for a minute?"

"Not now Hyun... I'm really tired"

"No Y/n. Now." At that he sat next to you on the bed just to see your puffy eyes, still visible in the dark.

"Baby don't tell me you've been crying??" He quickly touched your face looking at you filled with concern.

"No, I'm just tired, baby. And I'm sure you're too. Let's just talk tomorrow, please?"

"Y/n no. Look, you've been incredibly distant and uhm...I really don't know how to bring this up...but it has been on my mind since this morning... can you explain what this is?" He opened your drawer and took out doctor's note, that had written down a few drugs for...appetite stimulation? Is that what he thinks it is?

You looked at him in shock and snatched the paper away.

"Did you go through my stuff?"

"Baby it's not the time for this now. This is serious. I've seen how thin you've been getting. Just...tell me the truth Y/n."

You looked at him, tears spilling once again. Oh, how were you supposed to explain?

"What, no don't cry!Baby calm down... I'm here, yeah? Everything is alright. It's all alright, nothing that you say is impossible to overcome. Nothing."

"I-I got diagnosed with Ed. I know I should have told you and everything bu-"

You got cut off by Hyunjin taking your hands in his, making you stand up.

"Listen here. You're the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. And I-....I really don't want to lose you...not like this...." Tears threatened to spill as he continued "I can't ever let you treat yourself like this...you deserve better."

"Hyun... everything is just fine... I'm dealing with everything perfectly"

It was almost as if you didn't even believe yourself.

"No the fuck you're not! Please, baby. Promise me we'll do this together. That you won't do this all alone..."

"B-but your comeback and your fans and-"

"Y/n nothing will ever be as important as you are. Let me help you. Let me be there. I can't stand seeing you like this...baby please..."

"O-okay..."

You really didn't know what to say. How could you get so lucky? If he couldn't have gotten more perfect then sure he did just now.

He kissed you passionately as you felt his hands cradle up your waist. It was a small gesture, really. But you loved it so much. It showed how caring, how pure his love is.

"I'm here now. You won't ever have to go through this alone."

#skz fluff #skz imagines #skz reactions #skz smut #skz x reader #skz #straykids #stray kids #straykids angst #straykids imagines #straykids fluff #hyunjin #hyunjin imagines #straykids reactions #straykids hyunjin #skz au #skz angst #skz incorrect quotes #skz fic #skz requests #hyunjin reactions #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin angst #hwang hyunjin

[feelbokkie]

Feelbokkie's A Christmas Carol

Feelbokkiemas Day 1

genre: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort

pov: 2nd person and 3rd person

description: After a scheduling mishap causes the boys to have to perform on Christmas Eve, Jisung starts to believe that Stray Kids would be better off without him. (A very loose adaptation of A Christmas Carol)

pairing: idol!Jisung x his demons (oh and fem!reader)

warnings: swearing, depiction of bullying, minor violence, mention of death, disbandment, depiction of a panic attack, mention of throwing up

word count: 10,848 (I am so sorry) 

©feelbokkie (2023) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

☀️Feelbokkie M.list ☀️

🎄12 Days of Feelbokkiemas🎄

"Why the fuck am I here?" Jisung sings into his microphone.

The music stops, causing everyone to freeze. Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, and Chan turn to glare at Jisung, who messed up one of their few good takes for the rehearsal. Felix, Seungmin, and Jeongin turn to the staff and back up dancers and apologize on Jisung's behalf.

It's Christmas Eve, eve and the boys are doing a last-minute rehearsal for their Christmas eve performance. The whole ordeal is last minute. They were told last week that they were scheduled to appear on the show and if they canceled last minute, it'd look bad. With everything else going on, nothing was prepared. Flights home had to be canceled, staff members had to be called back, and songs had to be rearranged.

Nobody was more pissed off than Jisung about the scheduling mishap. This year, he was planning on going home with you for Christmas and to meet your parents. There were so many scheduling conflicts that he just never had the opportunity and he knew how much this meant to you. It broke his heart when he had to call you, crying, saying that he had to cancel, yet again.

"We get that you're mad but fucking up the song isn't going to do anything but piss us all off!" Chan yells, finally at his breaking point with Jisung.

"I'm sick and tired of this! I have to miss out on yet another thing that's important to Y/n because whoever is in charge of our schedule can't keep their shit straight. And if In can't pick up the choreography or if Felix can't get his cues right, we're never getting it right. So we should just give up now and go home." He responds into the mic, making sure everyone hears him.

Both Felix and Jeongin's heads drop to the floor before they turn back to the staff and apologize for their mistakes. Hyunjin and Seungmin go to comfort their respective maknaes. Jisung's sudden outburst only causes the older members to get angry, including Minho, who mostly tolerates Jisung's tantrums.

"Dude, don't blame Yongbok or In for anything! We've all made mistakes, you especially! Maybe if you focused on your lyrics and dancing, then we could go home and you could bitch and moan to Y/n on the phone like you've been doing all week!" Changbin shouts as he gets in Jisung's face.

"What, are you going to hit me? Because I'm right? Because you and everyone else is too scared to say it?" Jisung taunts, closing the gap between him and Changbin.

Chan quickly jumps in between them, pushing Changbin away from Jisung. He could tell by the tension brewing between the two of them that if he doesn't stop them now, this could only end one way: with Jisung flat on his back while Changbin, for the first time in his life, towering over him.

"Maybe we should take a break, yeah?" Chan tries to calm the two of them down.

"No, fuck this. I'm going home." Jisung hops off the makeshift stage and grabs his things from the front row, making sure to toss in his water bottles and phone.

“You know, you’re not the only one who had to cancel plans, right? We all had to cancel flights and trips home.” Minho says softly, trying to calm down the younger man.

“So why am I the only one upset?” He shouts causing Felix and Jeongin to jump. The backup dancers take this as a sign to leave the practice room, not wanting to be witnesses to the shitstorm that has been brewing since they started rehearsing two days ago.

"Hannie--"

“You’re not the only one who's upset, but you’re the only one not shutting the fuck up about it!” Changbin shouts again, the sudden emptiness in the room amplifies his already booming voice.

"Just let him leave. Then we wouldn't have to hear him bitch and moan anymore. One of us can just cover all of his parts tomorrow. Like we always do." Hyunjin breathes, finally having enough of Jisung's attitude.

"Hyunjin--"

"He's right. Tomorrow you guys can send out an announcement that I'm sick and then after the holidays, you guys can send out another notice announcing my departure from the group." Jisung climbs the fake stage again, the only exit for the practice room being in the back.

"Hyung--"

"--I think we're all a little tired and frustrated right now so maybe we should--"

"No, no, it's perfect. You guys can just cover all my parts for every song that we have. Hyunjin can just take my spot in 3racha since I'm clearly not needed here anymore. Right? Since I'm such a pain in the ass."

"Han, why don't we--"

"--Jisung, that's not--"

"--Nobody said anything like that--"

Jisung turns to leave the group, waving off his members' pleas.

"Where are you going?" Chan asks, trying, yet again, to de-escalate the situation.

"I'm going back to the dorm, packing my shit, and leaving." Jisung, who is halfway to the door, spins around to face his soon-to-be former group members. "You’ve all made it clear that I’m nothing but a problem. And Hyunjin made it very, very clear that you guys can just replace me so—"

“I didn’t say that you m—“

"If he wants to leave, let him leave. There's no use fighting with him. You know his stubborn ass isn't worth arguing with right now." Seungmin walks over to Hyunjin and places a hand on his shoulder, trying to at least calm him down.

"Thank you so much for that, Seungmin. Really helpful." Chan sighs, side-eyeing the second youngest member of the group. He hesitates for a second before approaching Jisung. "Why don’t we just call it for tonight? It’s late. We’re tired. We can run this in the morning."

“You guys can run this again in the morning. I’m done,” Jisung shouts as he storms out of the rehearsal space, slamming the door behind him.

***

Jisung spent the whole drive back to the dorm trying to book a flight to your parents’ house. The earliest flight he could find wouldn’t leave until late Christmas Eve night and, with the number of layovers, wouldn’t bring him to you until the day after Christmas. Distraught, annoyed, and exhausted all he could do was pack whatever he could, take a shower, and try to get some sleep.

Sleep didn't come easily for Jisung. He was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted but still restless. Fighting with his brothers never felt good. The eight of them went through hell together. Jisung knew that there wouldn't be anyone else besides them who would understand exactly what he was feeling. But, thanks to Hyunjin, the idea that they could just easily replace him didn't sit well with him either. He knows that it shouldn't have escalated to that, but at the same time, he was only saying what needed to be said. Hyunjin is the one who escalated things.

Eventually, Jisung decided that taking a sleeping pill would be the only way he was going to get any sleep. So he takes the pill, washing it down with one of the water bottles by his bedside. He climbs back into bed, turning the picture he has of you to face him, and quickly drifts off to sleep.

BANG

Jisung jumps up, his heart pounding in his ribcage. He looks around his dark room, unsure of what made that noise. After a second, he grabs his phone, quickly dismissing the missed calls and texts from everyone to check the time. 12:00 AM

"You've got to be kidding me," He groans as he flops back into his bed. He only slept for about an hour.

Bang, bang, bang

Jisung mentally curses out all three of his roommates, who only want to piss him off further tonight. Why they feel the need to make so much noise right now is beyond him. He's almost certain it's just Hyunjin and his temper being pettier than normal.

BANG, BANG

Mentally preparing for round two of fighting with Changbin and Hyunjin, Jisung climbs out of bed. He makes his way over to his door. His heart pounds louder in his chest, this time out of anxiety rather than fear like when he woke up. He takes a deep breath before pulling his door open.

"What is your guys'-- What the hell?" Jisung is left confused as he's met with the darkness of the dorm. Not a single soul in sight.

Brushing it off as a prank, or even as the boys are scared of his reaction and hiding, he slams his door shut and walks back to his bed. He settles back in, covering himself with his blanket, and attempts to fall back asleep.

Knock, knock

Jisung, annoyed, rips his blanket off before stomping back to the door

"Can you guys just grow the fuck u--...Jagiya?" Jisung nearly passes out when he sees your face on the other side of his door. You're not supposed to be here. You're supposed to be back home with your parents. So why are you standing outside of his bedroom at midnight?

"Not exactly," You answer softly.

A strange, white light illuminates you, the rest of the door pitch black behind you. A pair of over-the-ear headphones are locked around your neck. Chains wrap around your body like a boa constrictor. He almost can't see the all-white outfit that you're wearing. You walk--no float into his room, causing him to stumble back.

"What the fuck?" He asks in disbelief.

"You swear a lot, do you know that?" The you, that is not exactly you, asks.

"I'm dreaming. I have to be dreaming." Jisung mutters to himself. He squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head. "Yeah, this is just some weird side effect from the sleeping pill. And instead of the hat man, I'm seeing Y/n."

Jisung slowly opens his eyes to find his room empty. He lets out a sigh of relief as he closes the door and walks back to his bed. He climbs in one last time and shuts his eyes, ready to return to sleep.

Clang, clang, clang

Jisung quickly opens his eyes only to find not-you hovering over him. Literally.

"Ah! What the fuck?" He screams, sitting up in his bed. Had Changbin, Chan, and Hyunjin been home, they would have been startled awake by his sudden terror.

"There you go with the swearing again. I should try to fix that too," The not-you thinks as you float down to sit on his bed with him.

"What the fu--what the hell are you?" He asks, pressing his hand to his chest to try to settle his heart. He can't remember what it feels like to have a normal heartbeat.

"Still a swear but I'll let it slide since you're trying to censor yourself." Not-you climbs off the bed and starts looking around the messy room. "I'm a spirit of sorts."

"A spirit? Does that mean that Y/n is..." He can't bring himself to finish the question.

"No, no. Y/n is safe and sound. I'm merely borrowing their voice and likeness since it may be the only way to get you to pay attention to me." Not-you picks up one of the crumpled pieces of paper from Jisung's desk and starts reading it.

"Then...am I dead? Oh my god, the sleeping pills." He panics. He knows he's had the bottle for a while, but he didn't think they were expired or anything.

"Relax, Jisung. You can't overdose on a single sleeping pill. You're still alive and well."

"There why is there a ghost in my room?"

"Not a ghost, a spirit. Two completely different things. A common misconception though, so I don't blame you for your incompetence."

"Why. Are. You. Here?"

"Still a little moody I see." Not-you pulls out the chair from Jisung's desk and sits on it. "I'm here to stop you from making a mistake."

"And what mistake is that?" Jisung relaxes a bit.

"Ruining Christmas,"

"My Christmas is already ruined, so fuck Christmas."

"Is that your favorite word or something?"

"I'll show you my favorite words in a second if you don't start explaining."

"Jeez, that temper of yours really is something. I'm surprised you didn't blow up on your friends sooner."

"You don't get it. I--"

"I know why you blew up and that person is next on my list of people to visit. But don't you think you're exaggerating a bit? You're going to throw away years of hard work just because you didn't get your way?"

"That's not--You're uncomplicating things a bit."

"Hm, am I? Because, from what I saw, you overcomplicated them." Not-you spins around in the desk chair, much to Jisung's irritation.

"You don't understand--"

"What I do understand is that you're on track to derail millions of lives."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I really should do something about that mouth of yours while I'm here."

"Y/n--no, not Y/n. Spirit, what are you talking about?" Jisung gets off his bed and finally confronts not-you.

"See, I could tell you. But I think it'd stick better if I just let my friends show you."

"Friends? More spirits are coming?"

Not-you looks at the clock in the corner of the room before getting up. Not-you starts walking to the door to leave.

"Not spirits, ghosts. Three of them, actually. The first one should be here in under an hour."

"What?"

"Have fun Jisung," Not-you winks before disappearing through the door.

***

KNOCK

Jisung isn't sure when or how he fell asleep but less than an hour later he was being woken up again by a single loud knock. He checks the clock on his phone, groaning at the fact that it's only one in the morning now.

"You're a punctual ghost, huh?" Jisung mumbles as he gets up. He's not sure why he's going along with what the first spirit said. He's almost convinced that he's dreaming. Hell, this could all be some elaborate hallucination for all he knows.

When Jisung opens his bedroom door, he finds nothing but the black void of the dorm yet again. Getting annoyed, he closes the door and turns around, ready to go back to his bed.

“Oh, what the fuck?” Jisung jumps up, nearly slamming himself into the door as he jumps up.

In front of him is another not-you. You when you were a child. He didn’t know you back then. He’s only seen pictures of you when you were small. He’d often look at pictures of you when you were a kid and imagine what your kids would look like.

“You said a bad word.” Little not-you giggles.

“What are you? Like 11? I was swearing like a sailor when I was your age.” Jisung sighs as he regains his composure.

“I’m 9, thank you very much. And yeah, I know. You were a bad kid.” Little not-you starts to wander around Jisung’s room.

“You know?” Jisung furrows his eyebrows together as he follows little not-you, making sure they don’t break anything or fall.

“Yeah! I’m the ghost of Christmas past! I know lots and lots about the past.” Little not-you picks up a snow globe that sits on Jisung's desk and starts playing with it.

“So we’re going to look back on my past Christmases?” Jisung takes the snow globe out of little not-you’s hands and puts it where they can’t reach, causing them to pout. Cute, you still scrunch your nose like that. 

“Hm, Marley says you’re a special case so we’re just going to go to the past. That’s why Marley made me come in this form. They said you’d be nicer to me but I think Marley lied because you’re still a big old meanie.”

“Who the fuck is Marley?” Jisung asks, causing little not-you to quickly cover their ears.

“Someone should wash your mouth out with soap.”

“Sorry, sorry. Who is Marley?” Jisung crouches down to little not-you’s eye level, placing his hand on their head.

"Marley? The spirit you met before I got here. Wow, normally They introduce themselves but I guess-- Oh no! We got to go, we're running out of time. I'm going to get in so much trouble with Marley!" Little not-you grabs Jisung's hand and drags him to his bedroom door. He has no choice but to follow them.

As they cross the threshold, Jisung is confused as the cool, dark dorm turns into a humid, bright room. No, not room, classroom. The humidity and the layout of the classroom feel familiar to Jisung. He scans the empty classroom until his eyes land on a desk.

"Why are we here?" Jisung asks calmly, not breaking his eye contact from the desk.

"You need to see something." Little not-you responds.

"I don't need to see anything. Why are we here?" Jisung raises his voice a little, still being mindful that he's talking to a child.

Little not-you stays quiet, not letting go of Jisung's hand. Before little not-you or Jisung can say anything else, someone walks into the room. Jisung recognizes his 14-year-old self, much to his dismay. He remembers it all, almost like it was yesterday. The awkward hair his mother gave him back in their kitchen that his brother said would make him look good if he got it. His uniform that was passed down from his brother didn't fit well but was told he would grow into it. The clear-framed glasses that made his eyes look small and were a bit bigger than his face. The feeling of his braces in his mouth. Being one of the shorter kids in his class. The deafening whispers that seemed to follow him everywhere. And while it feels like it was yesterday, it was nearly 10 years ago.

Younger Jisung quietly walks to the desk in the furthest part of the room, right by the window. His over-the-ear headphones sit on his head, playing his music slightly too loud. He pulls out a notebook from his backpack that present-day Jisung recognizes immediately. His old lyric book.

"Hey, you idiot, put that away!" Present day Jisung yells at his younger self.

"He can't hear you. This is just a memory, we're not really here." Little not-you says quietly.

"Why are we here?" He asks again.

"Shh, something's happening." Jisung instinctively squeezes little not-you's hand.

A group of three boys loudly come into the classroom. Younger Jisung doesn't hear them come in. His music is too loud and his face is buried in his notebook. Present day Jisung bites his tongue, fighting the urge to warn himself about what's about to happen. He knows there's no use, he isn't going to hear him anyway. Present day Jisung's heart pounds in his body as it slowly sinks to the pit of his stomach.

The boys spot younger Jisung and make their way to him, whispering something. As they make their way over to him, present-day Jisung finally lets go of little not-you's hand and runs to block their path. He closes his eyes, waiting for them to bump into him. Instead, he feels nothing as they walk through him.

"I told you," Little not-you comes up beside him, "we're not actually here."

"Yeah but--"

"Hey! Give that back!" Younger Jisung's voice cuts off present-day Jisung, causing him to whip his head behind him.

The tallest of the group of boys is now holding the lyric book. Younger Jisung tries to grab the notebook back, but he's too slow. The taller boy turns out of the way, causing younger Jisung to stumble. His two friends quickly move to hold Jisung back.

"What do we have here?" The taller boy asks, flipping through the notebook.

"None of your fucking business! Give that back!" Jisung struggles against the other two boys' grip on him. The sudden swear causes little not-you to gasp in shock.

"Wait, I can read any of this. What is this your diary or something?" The taller boy asks, dangling the notebook in front of younger Jisung.

Present-day Jisung smirks, remembering his pure stroke of genius. He wrote all of his lyrics in Korean, knowing none of his classmates would be able to read his writing. It was one of his rarer big-brain moments.

"Oh yeah, totally. It has every single detail of when I spent last night with your mom." Younger Jisung spits, still wrestling against the other two boys.

"You fucking idiot," Present-day Jisung mutters under his breath.

The taller boy didn't like that answer. His face quickly turns red as he swiftly punches younger Jisung in the gut. Younger Jisung hunches over, the wind being knocked out of him. The other two boys let go, allowing younger Jisung's body to slump to the ground as he held his stomach.

RIP

Younger Jisung's head snaps up at the sound, silently praying that what he thinks is happening is, well, isn't happening. His body runs cold, sending a chill down his spine.

RIP

The taller boy rips out another page from the notebook and hands it to his friends. The two friends rip up the pages more, letting them trickle down to the floor.

"Stop it!" Younger Jisung yells. Still in pain, he grabs onto the taller one's legs.

"What the...?" The taller boy shakes' younger Jisung off his leg. Once he's free he delivers a swift kick in younger Jisung's direction, making a direct connection with his stomach. Present day Jisung grabs his stomach, remembering the pain from that day.

As younger Jisung whiters in pain on the floor, the three boys continue to rip out pages from the notebook.

"Please...stop," Younger Jisung cries out, his face becoming wet with tears. Whether they're from pain or watching years of work being reduced to shreds is something that even present-day Jisung doesn't know.

After a few minutes, the taller boy throws the nearly empty notebook at younger Jisung, hitting him square in the face. He kicks him one more time, this time on this side, before stepping over him. One of his friends follows suit by kicking him in the side again and stepping over him. The last boy, being a free-thinker apparently, spits at younger Jisung before stepping over him and following his friends.

Covered in spit, tears, and a little bit of blood on his lips from the book hitting him in the mouth and getting caught on his braces, younger Jisung lets out a frustrated, angry scream.

Present day Jisung slowly walks over to his younger self, crouching down beside him. He gently places his hand on his younger self's head. He knows he can't actually feel it nor would younger him would get any comfort.

"You must have been so lonely," Little not-you whispers. Jisung looks up to find little not-you with their eyes rimmed with tears.

"I was fine. I had friends. Those three fu--those three punks ended up getting expelled a few weeks later. One of my classmates saw them beat the ever-living crap out of me. And, the following year, I was training at JYP so it was fine in the end." He moves out of the way as his younger self gets up and starts picking up the pieces of paper off the floor.

"B-but you didn't know that back then," Little not-you sniffles.

"Why did you bring me here? To this moment?" Jisung asks.

"Don't you remember," Little not-you whips their face "this was the day you decided you were going to move back to Korea and train seriously. You spent weeks convincing your parents to let you."

"So you brought me back here because--"

"Oh man, we don't have much time left. We have one more place to go."

Little not-you runs up to Jisung and grabs his hand, dragging him through the classroom doors before he can even protest. Instead of walking into the hallway, they walk into the familiar practice rooms at the old JYPE building.

"I know you don't like swearing but I'm going to start if you don't tell me why we're back in this building." Jisung whines.

He remembers the smell of the room the most. The sweat of every trainee who ever set foot in the room. Almost like it was absorbed into the walls. The state smell of vomit and the faint smell of the cleaning solution that would be used to clean the vomit. And the room is hot. The air conditioning never worked properly in this practice room and the fans only circulated the heat.

A young Jisung sits on the floor, back pressed against the practice room mirror. Younger Seungmin and Felix sit on his left, a speaker on his right. The speaker plays the backing track to a song Jisung remembers using for a monthly evaluation. Seungmin is scribbling something in a notebook while Felix is reading a textbook. Hyunjin stands in the middle of the room, holding a paper. Jeongin is probably with the four oldest members in one of the other practice rooms.

Jisung remembers practices being like this. In would go with the older members so they could help him since they were a bit more experienced while the '00 liners practiced together. Chan thought that the four middle members could use the time to settle their differences while helping each other.

"Jesus, do you know how to enunciate? You sound like you're trying to talk with a bunch of marbles in your mouth." Younger Jisung tells Hyunjin as he pauses the music.

Hyunjin clenches his fist, looking up at the stained ceiling as he tries to calm himself down. Both Seungmin and Felix squirm uncomfortably as they can sense yet another fight between the two oldest in the room.

"I am trying. Maybe if you actually try to teach me instead of sitting on your ass we could move on." Hyunjin breathes through his teeth.

"I don't know what you want me to do, Hyunjin. I can't teach talent." 

"Teach talent? I'm going to teach you something in a second if you don't shut up." Hyunjin slightly crumbles the lyric sheet in his hand.

"How can you teach me anything? The only reason you're even at this company is because someone just happened to think you're pretty. They got lucky that you can actually dance." Younger Jisung stands up.

"Hey Han, that's not--"

"Hey, Felix, how about you talk to me when you can string together a proper sentence in Korean." Younger Jisung snaps, turning around to face Felix. "Do you want me to say that slower? In English maybe?"

"Wow, you were a jerk." Little not-you says.

"Please don't. I'm already dying inside." Present-day Jisung groans.

"Jisung--"

"What, Seungmin? What are you two even doing here? You're writing in your diary again and Felix is practicing to read at a second-grade level."

"Leave Felix alone, Han."

"Why don't you hop off my dick and focus on rapping better, Hyunjin?"

"Rap better?" Hyunjin scoffs, "Why don't you focus on dancing better, maybe we would actually debut."

"Do you two have to have this argument every day?"

"Shut up, Seungmin!" They shout in unison, causing the youngest of the quartet to wince.

"I promise you, my dancing isn't an issue. Why are you even here? Chan only asked you to be in the group because you're such a clear visual."

"Say one more thing about me being pretty or a visual. I dare you." Hyunjin steps closer, closing the gap between them.

"I'm going to get Chan hyung," Felix says getting up from his spot and running out the door.

"Yeah, go ahead and run to dad, Felix!"

"Leave him alone, Jisung," Hyunjin warns.

"Oh, you're using my first name. I'm real scared."

"Can you two just stop fighting and take this seriously? We're supposed to be training for next week's evaluations." Seungmin gets up from his spot and walks over to Hyunjin and younger Jisung. He knows they're not going to start fighting physically, but with the way they've been at each other's throats recently, it's only a matter of time.

"I am taking this seriously! And I feel like I'm the only one who is."

"Can we go home?" Present Jisung asks, having enough of being in the past. He looks down at little not-you. They're staring at the scene, refusing to look away.

"Do you think you were a jerk back then because you were scared?" They ask, completely ignoring Jisung.

Younger Chan bursts into the room with Felix in tow just as younger Jisung pushes Hyunjin. Felix grabs Hyunjin just before he can push Jisung back. Chan walks over to Jisung and holds him back, just in case.

"What would I have been scared of?" Jisung tries to let go of little not-you's hand but they tighten their grip.

The scene continues to play out in front of them but no sound comes. The four remaining members pour into the room, trying to see what's going on. Chan is yelling, causing some of the younger members to wince while Hyunjin and younger Jisung glare at each other. Jisung can barely remember the speech that Chan gave that day. But he remembers it weighing on his mind for a while. Something about them having to get their shit together.

"You were lonely back in Malaysia. You came back to Korea to train. You made friends with Chan and Changbin while you guys did 3racha and then you were put into a trial group with six other people and you felt like it could work."

"What does that have to do with--"

"But you also felt that a lot of the other members weren't putting in the same amount of effort as you and that would have been the group's downfall. You were a jerk to everyone in your group because you were scared that the trial group was going to be your only chance at debuting. You trained for a little bit but you didn't want to be one of those trainees who were training for a large chunk of their life."

"Wait a second--"

"Ah, I have to take you back." Little not-you pulls towards the door the members just walked through.

Jisung takes one more look at his younger self as he crosses the threshold. His tense jaw, squinted eyes, gritted teeth--He remembers that ander. He remembers feeling that angry all the time back then. It slowly consumed him during his training days. It even consumed him the first couple of years after they debuted. It was almost like his best friend, the anger.

"What was the point in those two memories?" Jisung asks as he finally wiggles his hand out of little not-you's grasp.

"It's a secret," Little not-you sing songs as they explore Jisung’s room.

“Hey, kid, tell me,” He runs his hand through his hair, getting frustrated, “why did you make me relive those moments?”

“You didn’t relive them! You watched. Like a TV show.” Little not-you hops onto Jisung’s bed.

“I’m going to start swearing,”

“No!”

“Tell me!”

Little not-you pouts, crossing their arms. Having enough, Jisuung walks over to his bed and picks up little not-you. He doesn’t think about the fact that he’s holding a ghost or that he held hands with one earlier. His main concern is going back to sleep and trying to push the rest of the night out of his head.

Little not-you pouts, crossing their arms. Having enough, Jisuung walks over to his bed and picks up little not-you. He doesn’t think about the fact that he’s holding a ghost or that he held hands with one earlier. His main concern is going back to sleep and trying to push the rest of the night out of his head.

He sets little not-you down at his desk before stomping back to his bed. He climbs under his covers, pulling his blanket over his head. His heart, which feels like it never stopped racing, begins to settle in his chest. He’s overwhelmed, yes, but the feeling of his weighted blanket on his body and thick comforter on his bed starts to make him feel better as he lies in his safety cocoon.

Jisung loved living in Malaysia, but some moments of it were repressed in the deepest crevices of his mind. He only liked to remember the good parts like going to the mall and eating some of his favorite dishes while joking with his friends. He never wanted to think about the people who made him want to leave. Who made his life hell. And while he tried to forget, he regretted everything thing about his pre-debut, trainee self. He knew he was in the wrong most of the time. None of his members deserved any of that.

“‘I'm clearly not needed here anymore.’” Jisung hears a little voice say.

“What?” He asks, not taking the blanket off of his head.

“That’s what you said yesterday when you got into an argument with your group members, right?” The voice gets closer.

“…What does that have to do with anything?” Jisung thinks. None what what he just saw has anything to do with what happened yesterday. Right?

“I can’t tell you that. I already broke one rule and Marley is scary when they’re mad. Just think about it. I have to go now. Your next visitor should be here soon."

And just like that, the room is still. The only sound, other than his breathing, that Jisung can hear is the low, muffled hum from the heater. The heat from the room and the weight of the blanket quickly force him to drift back to sleep.

***

KNOCK, KNOCK

"I'm throwing out those fucking sleeping pills, I swear to god," Jisung mumbles to himself as he stumbles out of bed. He looks up at the clock on his desk.

2:45 am

At least he got a bit of sleep this time. Still, exhausted both mentally and physically, he crawls to his bedroom door to let in the next ghost.

"Since you guys are ghosts, can't you just...walk through the doors or something?" He groans as he collapses to the floor.

"Believe me, I wish we could, but we're not allowed to anymore. Gave one too many people heart attacks. Marley would rip us a new one if we scared another person to death." Jisung's ears perk up at the sound of your voice.

He quickly looks up to find you, no another not-you staring up at him. It's you, exactly how you look now, but with some sort of wreath-like flower crown on your head and a weird green fuzzy robe. On a normal person, the outfit would look weird, but you make it work.

Note to self, find out in real life for Y/n. Jisung thinks.

"You've killed people?" Jisung gulps, suddenly scared of what he's gotten himself into.

"Well not intentionally. I'm like the least threatening ghost. Well, after baby Past. Marley and Future on the other hand..." New not-you crouches down to Jisung's level.

"Past? Future? Does that make you the ghost of Christmas present?" He sits up, making eye contact with the new not-you. He can't help but smile while looking into your eyes. Their eyes? Does this count as cheating?

"Yeah, but present as in 'here and now.' Not as in gift."

"I know the difference!"

"Okay, Mr. Grumpy. Jeez, you wouldn't believe how many people don't. I your file said you were a member of something called baboracha so I thought I'd help you out a bit," New not-you stands up and stretches out a hand for Jisung. "Come on, we don't have a lot of time left. Future is super punctual and I already wasted most of our time."

Jisung hesitantly takes the hand of the new not-you. Once his hand is in theirs, he's promptly yanked up and through the door. In a few seconds, he's suddenly standing in the corner of one of the practice rooms of the new JYPE building. All of his members lay in various states of exhaustion around the room, panting. Chan sits in the middle, legs stretched out in front of him as he leans back on his arm with his head facing the ceiling. Both Seungmin and Jeongin lay supine with their bodies stretched out like starfish. Hyunjin lays flat on his stomach, almost like roadkill. Minho rests on his side, staring motionlessly at the mirror. Changbin sits, leaning against the wall while Felix rests his head on him. All seven of them are drenched in sweat.

"Holy shit, they're all so hot! What do they feed you here--who the fuck is that?" New not-you points directly at Changbin, "I wish I was human. The things I would do... Marley frowns on possession but 30 minutes alone with him would be worth an eternity of Marley's wrath."

"Can you please not say that while you look and sound exactly like Y/n?" Jisung pleads.

"Why? Does it make you jealous? I'd spend some time with you too, Jisungie. Don't worry." New not-you smirks, causing him to blush.

I like this ghost the least of all. He thinks.

Jisung looks at his group members. He left the venue around 9. If it really is the present, that means they've been practicing for the past 5 hours. Jisung gets a twinge of pain in his chest at that thought. He went home to sleep comfortably in his bed while they stayed to work.

"Since you're the ghost of the present, that means it's 2 am for them too, right?" He asks, trying to change the subject.

"I thought you were supposed to be smart."

Jisung presses his lips together to stop himself from saying something rude. He knows that the ghost isn't you, but the fact that they have your face stops him from hurting their feelings. He's having trouble separating the two.

"Do...do you think...he's really going...to leave?" Felix asks through breaths.

The room stays silent for a moment. Everyone has been thinking the same thing since Jisung stormed out of rehearsal. Throughout their late dinner, travel to the JYPE building and new practice, the same question loomed over all of them. And yet, Felix is the only one who is brave enough to say anything.

"I don't think so. But at the same time, he's so fucking stubborn that he might actually do it." Seungmin finally answers.

"I didn't mean to hurt his feelings like that. I didn't think he would--I was just mad. He wasn't supposed to take me seriously, that idiot." Hyunjin says softly.

"I get his anger though. He constantly feels like a shit boyfriend because he has to cancel on Y/n a lot or miss out on things because of work. This trip was really important to him. I know he hates disappointing Y/n." Minho explains.

Jisung has spent so much time venting to Minho about his struggles with his job and dating you because he knows that Minho would just listen. He couldn't tell you about any of it. He knows you'd feel guilty and suggest breaking up so he could feel less stress. You wouldn't want him to give up his career for you. Not when you see how much joy creating and performing brings him. He has no idea how you're going to react to him leaving the group.

"I think he just needs some time off. The last comeback was hard for him and he was back to his old self this comeback but we haven't had a proper break in a while. We'll just perform without him tomorrow and then after New Year's we can all sit down and talk seriously about this." Chan, always being the voice of reason, says calmly. In reality, he's panicking.

He hasn't felt this much panic since the group went from nine to eight. And before that, he hadn't felt this stressed since the survival show when there were only seven of them left. Not that any of his members knew. He was good at bottling all that in, not wanting to worry his members. Losing Jisung meant more than losing a member. While he felt the same about all his members, viewing them as his kids more than coworkers, losing Jisung also meant losing a little brother, a co-producer, a part of him.

"What are we going to do if he does leave?" Jeongin asks this time.

"Don't think about that Yongbokkie--Ah, I mean In." Changbin groans at his slip-up, earning tired laughs from the other members.

"Really? Even now?" The youngest member sits up, glaring at Changbin.

"He is on my lap. I am looking at his face. It was--"

"I don't care. Stop speaking to me, I don't want to hear it. I'm tired of your voice. Next time you speak, I'm hitting you."

"I think we've had enough fighting for one day," Minho warns as he laughs.

"If he does end up leaving, we'll rebuild. We'll have to. He wouldn't want us to completely fall apart without him. He might think that now, but once he snaps out of it, he'd feel guilty about it." Chan speaks up.

"Yeah but wouldn't he feel like shit if we don't fall apart? Like we actually don't need him?" Hyunjin sits up this time, looking at Chan with a guilty face.

"I won't. I promise I won't because I get it. I was there the first time we lost a member. I get if--I... fuck." Jisung says through wet eyes. He's not sure when he started crying or why. But watching his group members overwork themselves and even worry about him when they have every right to be mad gets to him.

"They can't hear you, Jisungie." New not-you reminds him.

"Goddamn it--"

"C'mon, we have to go." New not-you grabs Jisung's hand and pulls him away from the practice room.

"Where could you possibly be taking me now?" He asks as he whiles the tears from his eyes with the back of his free hand.

"Well, I was also supposed to take you to see a few of your fans and even your precious Y/n. But I came late and we're cutting it close to Future's time and let's just say the last time I did that, it wasn't so pretty."

When Jisung pulls his hand away from his face he sees that he's surrounded by the darkness of his room again. He lets go of the new not-you's hand and paces around his room. His heart is pounding impossibly fast in his chest, punching his ribcage. His thoughts going a mile a minute. If he doesn't calm down soon, he's going to work himself up into a panic attack.

"I don't need to go to the future. I get it now!" He blurts out in desperation.

"Oh really? Care to share with the class what you learned, Jisungie?"

"That I'm just causing problems for everyone if I leave." He stops pacing.

"Because?" New not-you walks closer to him, making Jisung stumble back.

"Because...because I'm a selfish dumbass."

"Oh, so close, Sungie. I guess you have to go to detention with Future after all. Make sure you pay attention this time. You already have all the answers that you need."

New not-you presses an ice-cold kiss to Jisung's cheek before completely vanishing from the room, leaving him confused and alone. He drops to his knees, clutching his head in his hands as he tries to process the events of the past couple of hours.

***

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNO--

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming!" Jisung sighs as he pulls himself off the floor. He's slightly calmer than he was a few moments ago.

At this point, Jisung wants to get this nightmare over with so he can fix everything. He pulls open the door to find a cloaked figure hovering in front of him. The hood of the cloak completely covers their face, but Jisung is sure you're face is hidden under there.

"Okay, out with it. What's your whole gimmick? You're the ghost of the future so you're going to show me how bad life is after I left, right?" Jisung asks, crossing his arms. He's completely over this nightmare.

The cloaked figure stares back at him, unwavering. The ominous quiet coming from the cloaked ghost sends a chill down Jisung's spine. Something about this ghost just feels different, and he doesn't like it.

"Cat got your tongue or something?" Jisung tries to joke. Still, the cloaked ghost just stays unmoving.

"Ahem," Jisung nervously chews on his bottom lip, "so I guess I'll just,"

Jisung walks through the door, giving up on trying to make any conversation with the ghost. As he walks through the door, he's transported to one of the hallways in the JYPE building. More specifically, the hallway where the 3racha studio is.

Future starts floating away from Jisung as they make their way through the hallway. Jisung slightly jogs to keep up. He takes in his surroundings as he walks. He sees the familiar posters of Day6, GOT7, Stray Kids, Miss A, TWICE, and NMIXX that are equally spaced along the walls. He also sees some posters of groups and solo artists he doesn't recognize.

Of course, you don't recognize them, it's the future. He thinks to himself.

He freeze when his eyes land on the door to the 3racha studio. He wonders if Chan and Changbin are inside right now, working on something. He wonders if they're struggling without him. Or if they're doing better without him. If they're able to get more work done without him there.

His concentration breaks when an unfamiliar face walks out of the room. He wears the same tired expression that Jisung has seen a million times on other idol's faces. One that he recognizes could only be earned from hours of frustrated writing pressured by looming deadlines. One that Chan often wears.

Did they replace me? He questions. No, they wouldn't.

He shakes the thought out of his head as he runs over to the elevator where Future and the new person are waiting. The door closes just as he slides in. The elevator plays music he's never heard before, no doubt from one of the new JYP artists.

Would this count as plagiarism if I released this in the present? He wonders.

He can't help be let his eyes wander over to the stranger. If he's someone who is currently training at JYP, he wouldn't be able to tell you. There are too many of them and out of desperation to try to debut, a lot of them start to mimic the style of debuted artists and they all look like clones of each other. It's quite scary actually.

He takes in the appearance of the artist. He's wearing a bucket hat and black sweatpants with a matching hoodie. By the size of his backpack, he must have been living in that studio for a few days. There's a pin on his backpack that reads CLxVxR.

Is that a brand? Is it Clover? Clever?

DING

The elevator lands on the ground floor. Mystery Idol walks over to the cafeteria as Future floats in the other direction. Curious about his new possible replacement, Jisung wants to follow him to learn more about him. He knows better, the sooner he finishes with the future, he can get back to the present, wake up, and fix everything.

Jisung quickly walks over to where Future stands, next to the plaque of all of the JYPE artists that debuted. Curious, he looks up at the list, reading the few names of new artists that were added. The most recent one debuted in 2044.

"2044? How far into the future are we?" He turns to ask Future, of course to no avail.

He turns to look at the list again. He furrows his eyebrows as his eyes glance over a familiar name.

CLxVxR February 29, 2024-

"What?" He mutters to himself.

Puzzled, his eyes fly up the list stopping only when they settle on the name he was looking for.

Stray Kids March 25, 2018- February 17, 2024

"No," He gasps.

He turns around to face Future, hoping for some sort of confirmation that what he is looking at is true. Still, the ghost remains silent, staring at Jisung with their cloaked face.

Jisung's palms start to feel cool and clammy as his heart rate begins to speed up. Too many thoughts flood his mind as he looks around the lobby. The poster of Stray Kids that once sat in the lobby is now replaced with a new group. All the staff members and trainees that walk around are unfamiliar to him, making him feel more anxious.

Air, I need air!

Jisung quickly runs out of the building, trying to calm himself down. Jisung doubles over, gasping for air. If he doesn't breathe, he might actually die in this dream hellscape he brought himself to. He looks around, trying to find something, anything to ground him but the landscape isn't helping. The buildings are all unfamiliar. Restaurants have new names, shops have new designs, and the cars on the street are unrecognizable. The tears on his face begin to freeze as the cool winter air and snow freeze them.

"JiJi! Come here!" A familiar voice calls.

Jisung's head whips around, trying to find where you are. You shouldn't be able to see him. He's not actually here but, you still call him. His eyes finally land on you. You're facing him, waving while holding a bouquet. He doesn't hesitate to run to you. He stops when he's standing right in front of you.

You still look like you, only older. Your hair is a little shorter and has some white strands that suit you. Your face looks the same only with a few wrinkles. Smile lines mostly. Signs of a happy life. But overall, you still look like you, and for that, Jisung was relieved.

His smile drops when he realizes that your same, warm eyes are looking past him. Not at him. He slowly turns around to see who you're really looking at. All he can see is a child running towards the pair of you.

"Eomma!" The little boy runs up to you and wraps his arms around your leg.

"Jiho, did you run away from appa again?" You say to the little boy.

"Yeah! But only because Sang-hee fell in the snow and won't stop crying." He pouts. He has your face. Almost as if he's a carbon copy of you.

"Did she fall or did you push her?" You ask with a soft smile.

"She fell! And she only fell because she slipped while trying to hold my hand when I told her I didn't want to."

"Jiho, Sang-hee is only 6. She was probably trying to hold your hand so you wouldn't fall and get hurt like she did."

"Yeah, but I'm 8! I'm a big kid! I don't need to hold anyone's hand."

"You still need to hold mine or appa's hand when you cross the street. Until you're at least 10 or a little taller."

"I am tall!" he yells, getting on his tiptoes. Jisung can't help but laugh. It reminds him of something Changbin would do.

"Sorry, Jagiya. I tried to give you your space but Jiho ran off when I was checking on Sang-hee." A new, unfamiliar voice says. Jisung quickly turns around to see who could be calling you Jagiya.

He's met with a man he's never met before. He's taller and looks a little older. Dread begins to fill Jisung's body as he quickly realizes what happened.

"Hell, I'm in hell." He says quickly.

"It's okay, I'm almost done here. And then the four of us can go to dinner." You smile softly at your husband.

Jisung stumbles back, staring at your tiny family in horror. He watches as your son walks over to his father--your husband--a man who is not him. His heart shatters in his chest, providing some relief from the relentless beating it's been doing all day. He watches as you quietly place the bouquet beside the others on the floor that he didn't realize were there. Your small smile is gone as you suck in your lower lip. Your chin trembles for a bit.

"Are you okay Eomma?" Your daughter asks from her father's arms.

"Eomma is okay, Sang-hee. Let's go," You wipe your face before turning to face your husband and children with a new smile on your face. Jisung can tell that only half of it is real. The other half is fake. A show you put on to not worry your family.

Your husband sets your daughter on his shoulders, using his right hand to hold onto her leg. His left hand is free to hold yours, your left hand being occupied by your son's.

Jisung tries to turn around, to leave, and to find his way back to the present. To stop whatever happened from happening only to be stopped by Future.

"I saw what you wanted me to see. I get it now! Let me go so I can fix it!" He shouts, hot tears pouring down his face, melting the frozen ones.

Future continues to say nothing. Instead, they raise a hand, their find pointing outward. Jisung looks to see what they're pointing at, only to find the pile of flowers you were just interacting with. Confused, Jisung turns back to Future, trying to get some sort of explanation.

Woosh

A small gust of wind blows past them as a car speeds by, causing the hood to fall off of Future's head. Jisung takes a few steps back in horror as Future's face is revealed to be nothing more than a skeleton.

"Oh, what the fuck?" He breathes. He can only hope that Future's skeleton isn't yours.

Still as a statue, Future continues to point at the flowers, urging Jisung too. Wanting to look at anything else, he complies. He turns his full body to the pile of flowers. As he steps closer, he realizes that it's not a pile of flowers as his own face stares back at him. No, not his face exactly. A picture of his face when he was younger. Maybe one or two years after debut.

"What?" He looks around at everything around his picture. There's more than just frostbitten flowers. There are snow-covered Han Quokkas, slightly burnt candles, and old concert pickets. He kneels to the floor, picking a flower from your bouquet, a forget-me-not, taking in this new information.

He died. You moved on because he died. You didn't leave him because he left the group. That he could live with. Partly. His eyes fall on a strange patch of snow. He quickly brushes it away to see what could possibly be under there. All he finds is a bronze plaque that reads:

Han Ji-Sung

Beloved brother, son, producer, singer, rapper, and Stray Kid

September 14, 2000- December 23, 2024

"No," He mutters to himself. He turns his head to Future, who is now beside him.

"This has to be a mistake. I can't die in a year!" He pleads.

Still Future remains silent.

"Let me go back! I can fix this. I won't leave! I get it now! They need me! Chan hyung, Minho Hyung, Changbin hyung, Hyunjin, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin, and Y/n, they all need me," He sniffles, "A-and I need them too! I get that now. I won't take that for granted. P-please, take me back."

The landscape changes and they're suddenly in a cemetery. Jisung's heart, which appears to have mended itself and started beating again, pounds loudly in his chest. Even if Future started talking now, the only thing he'd be able to hear is the beating of his own heart. In front of him is an open grave and a headstone with his name on it.

"I take it back!" He shouts as he turns around to Future.

"I take back everything I said!"

Future hovers towards Jisung, causing him to take a step back.

"Please, just take me back to the present and I promise not to complain ever again."

Step

"I--I'll be the first one in and last one out of the studio and practice room!"

Step

"I'll do more mc gigs!"

Step

"Please, I don't want anything to change. Just let me go back--"

Slip

Jisung loses his footing and falls into the empty grave.

***

Jisung springs awake, gasping for air.

His room is bright as the sun pokes through the window, letting him know that his nightmare is finally over. A nightmare, that's all it was. Right?

He runs his hands through his hair. As he looks around his room. Everything looks just as he left it the night before. His eyes settle on the sleeping pills he took the night before. He slowly gets out of bed, feeling exhausted, and grabs the pill bottle. He leaves his room, walking straight to the bathroom he shares with Hyunjin. He opens the toilet bowl and pours the entire contents of the bottle before flushing it.

"Never fucking again," He mumbles as he tosses the now-empty bottle in the trash.

He stares at himself in the mirror. He looks like shit. His eyes have thick, dark circles around them. His face is puffier than he likes and his hair is all over the place. He rubs his eyes as he turns the faucet, allowing the water to get a little warm before splashing his face with the slightly cool water. Still unable to shake the nightmare from his mind, he decided to take a shower. Hoping the warm water will allow him to clear his mind.

It had to be a dream. There's no possible way he could have time-traveled. It's just not possible. Two ghosts and a spirit that looked exactly like you and another ghost that resembled the Grim Reaper didn't visit him last night to psychologically torture him. He just swallowed an expired sleeping pill that took him on a bad trip fueled by his guilt. It's the same as if he took an allergy pill and saw the hat man. None of that is real.

Jisung walks back into his room. One towel hugs his waist while another one sits on his head. He feels a little after his shower, but not 100% back to his normal self. As he slowly begins to get dressed, he also starts to pack a suitcase. He still plans to fly out to you, even if it means having to fly on Christmas day.

A chill runs through Jisung's spine as his eyes land on a forget-me-not flower on his desk, right next to the snowglobe that little not-you was playing with in his dream.

"Shit," He breathes, quickly realizing that it wasn't a dream.

He licks his lips as he thinks about what to do. He runs over to his bed, throwing pillows, blankets, and clothes around while looking for his phone. Finally finding it, he wakes it up and checks the date and time.

24 December 2023

3:04 pm

He still has time.

He quickly orders a car and finishes getting ready. Everyone should be at the JYPE building getting ready for the show. If he gets there now, he'll have enough time to fix everything. He'll get down on his hands and knees if he has to. He just needs to change the future.

"Ha, yeah, it's that easy," He scoffs at himself.

"Han? What are you--"

"I'm so sorry for throwing a fit like a complete fucking idiot. I'm sorry for making you all worry. I'm sorry for blaming Felix and Jeongin. I'm sorry for everything I said behind your backs when I was going home in a fit of rage. I'm sorry--"

"Han, get up," Chan says softly to the younger man.

In Jisung's defense, he had an entire speech that he planned out in his head while he was being driven to the rest of his members. A decent one that would win awards if it was said in a movie. But when he walked into the room where everyone was in various stages of getting ready, he couldn't but drop to his hands and knees to grovel and beg for forgiveness. It was pitiful really, everyone in the room could agree.

"Hyung, 'm sorry. I don't want to leave the group. I was just mad." He whimpers, looking up at his leader with tearful eyes.

"Jagiya, get up," Minho calls from the makeup chair he's sitting in.

Jisung shakes his head before he presses it to the floor again.

"H-hey," Felix gets up from his spot on the couch, "Han, it's okay. We understand. None of us are mad at you."

"Annoyed maybe, but not mad," Changbin adds.

Chan finally manages to get Jisung up from the floor and pulls him into a hug. The rest of the members follow suit, much to the make artists' dismay. Soon, Jisung is surrounded by all of his members in a suffocating sandwich.

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, Han. I didn't mean--" Hyunjin starts.

"It's okay, I know."

The pile separates and the boys are pulled in all sorts of directions as they're back in getting ready mode. Jisung stands awkwardly in the middle of the room.

"I want to perform with you guys tonight if that's okay." He says loudly as he wipes his face clean.

"Not...not to start another fight, but are you sure you can?" Seungin asks while getting his hair done.

"He practiced with us long enough yesterday and for once was the only one who had his shit together. No offense," Jeongin adds.

"None taken," He lets the backhanded compliment roll off his back.

"I see nothing wrong with it if he feels ready. We didn't change anything so it should be fine." Minho adds.

Jisung lets out a sigh of relief as everyone agrees to let him join them. He's quickly grabbed by one of the stylists as they scramble to get him ready, he's behind schedule compared to everyone else. And just like that, almost everything felt right in the world.

"Not to add any pressure on anyone, but we have some very important guests in the audience tonight," Chan says while the boys are huddled together backstage.

The MCs are busy interviewing ATEEZ, who just finished performing. Stray Kids should be up next. Everyone is already nervous, still feeling under-prepared for tonight.

"Pd-nim is here?" Changbin asks, annoyed.

"Yeah, but that's not who I'm talking about." Chan pats' Changbin's back.

"Then who?" Jisung asks while fiddling with his hand mic.

"Our families, including our significant others." Chan beams.

"I'm going to throw up," Seungmin says suddenly.

"Wait? Y/n is here?" Jisung pokes his head through the wing of the stage, scanning the audience to find you. A large toothy smile consumes his face when he finds you and your parents.

"Pd-nim felt bad about the scheduling mix-up and ruining the holidays so he paid for all of them to be here," Chan explains as some of the boys get bouncy with excitement while others become nervous.

"The Grinch's heart grew?" Changbin adds, earning a slap in the back of the head. Chan gives him a look, reminding him to be mindful of where he is.

"Cool, I'm still going to throw up," Seungmin leans on Jeongin for support.

"Hyung, if you throw up on me, I will punch you," Jeongin warns.

"I think the stylist might kill him first," Minho quips.

"It's fine. We got this. You guys practiced for like 5 hours after I left. If anything, I should be nervous. You all got this." Han says, patting Seungmin on the head.

"How do you know that?" Felix asks. The boys look at each other, unsure of who told him how long they practiced. They were in silent agreement not to tell him so he wouldn't feel bad and start crying again.

"I...lucky guess? Oh look, ATEEZ is coming off the stage." Jisung says quickly, pointing as Hongjoong leads his members off the stage.

Jisung breathes, relieved that his distraction worked. He's unsure how or if he's going to tell them that he traveled time. Maybe that's something he should keep for himself. They might think stress has gotten to him and force him into a hiatus.

The nerves quickly leave all of their bodies as they all walk out onto the stage. Jisung makes eye contact with you and bows to your parents as he takes his position. The bright smile on your face lets him know that everything is going to be okay.

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

Red means that it wouldn't let me tag you (either at all or properly)

Taglist

@puppysmileseungmin @jiisungllvr @its-hannjisung @veedoesntknaur @turtledove824 @lanatheawesome @marked-unknown @kibs-and-bits 

#feelbookie writes #feelbokkiemas #stray kids #skz #chan #bangchan #bang chan #lee know #minho #lee minho #changbin #seo changbin #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #han #jisung #han jisung #felix #yongbok #lee felix #lee yongbok #lee felix yongbok #seungmin #kim seungmin #i.n #jeongin #yang jeongin #x reader #skz imagine #stray kids imagine

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

For #ask the pack, first off not an ask but, I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT wait to see how innie joins the pack I’ve missed baby bread so much in the prequel. My ask is, without spoiling too much of the prequel, what was everyone’s moment where they knew they were in love with the rest of the pack? Like what was the thing that made you go “yep this is where I want to be for the rest of my life”.

"Umm, I don't think I really had a specific moment." Chan muses, thinking hard. "I knew for sure when Changbin showed me a picture of Hyunjin and (Y/N) that I had to meet and get to know them for some reason, but after that, I felt like it was all just a collection of small moments strung together for me? Like pieces of a puzzle finally coming together to form the big picture as we kept adding more members."

"Which made sense you felt that way when we discovered you were head alpha." Seungmin points out.

"I think for me, a big point of cementing my surety-especially about Chan-was when Felix had his heat and Hyunjin cycled at the same time, and I really got to see him for the first time in a sort of pack setting." You glance to Chan and give him a half smile. "I had already accepted the current members as pack, my wolf was sure, but watching Chan take care of and be careful with my packmates, that kinda helped finished settling things for me."

"I was happy with just (Y/N) and Hyunjin, I'll be honest." Changbin shrugs, arching a brow. "My alpha wasn't telling me anything big was missing or whatever. And then we met Jisung, and I kind of had this epiphany of "oh, we can just add to the love, not take away from it.'"

"And when he met Seungmin, he was a goner." Hyunjin teases, elbowing the alpha.

"Yeah, but that wasn't the point that did it I don't think." Changbin protests. "When it really hit me that I was in deep shit was when (Y/N) had her rut without us here."

"Ah yes." Minho smirks. "The cabin. Good times."

"Shut up." Changbin throws him a glare.

Minho smirks and settles back into the couch, unbothered. "I hated all of you at first, it's not a secret. I was all in for Jisungie, and I didn't want to let anyone in and see him get hurt."

"However-" He sighs, rolling his eyes. "The more time he spent with you, the more I saw his light return, and I knew, when he told me how much he loved all of you, I'd have to accept it. And then I watched you all take care of him, and I-"

"Fell in love with us." Hyunjin finishes teasingly with a triumphant smirk in the alpha's direction.

"Twenty minutes, Hwang Hyunjin." Minho threatens, but it doesn't hold his usual bite.

"I was head over heels the moment I accidentally ran into (Y/N) and Hyunjin in the lab." Jisung grins, winking at you theatrically. "And then they introduced me to Changbin, and I legitimately had dreams for days about him bench pressing me naked. I'm a sucker for pretty people. The ability to love me for who I am and help me through my moments of panic is just a bonus."

"I'm way too logical to ever let myself have a head over heels moment.' Seungmin interrupts their bickering, his expression serious. "I had to work my way through all the complex emotions starting with Changbin, and it took me a long time to admit to myself that biology had finally bested me when it came to the pack."

"Romantic." Jisung snorts, narrowly avoiding a well placed elbow from the other beta.

"It's cliche, but the moment I knew I would stay forever was when Felix joined us all, and everything suddenly felt like it was right where it needed to be." Hyunjin admits, glancing to the other omega with affection. "The icing on the cake was everyone else obviously."

"My moment was the same." Felix agrees with a nod. "Though I agree with noona, the first heat I ever spent with the pack was an important turning stone for me."

"I didn't know if I'd have a moment." Jeongin admits. "But then my presentation happened and watching how everyone came together to protect me and help me and guide me, well-" He shrugs sheepishly and Felix hugs him. "-I kinda liked that feeling."

"God, you're all being so sappy." Jisung complains teasingly, dramatically slumping on the couch between Seungmin and Changbin. "Let's just go back to fighting, please."

#skz #stray kids #stay #ot8 #skz!Pack #skz!abo #poly!skz #omegaverse #inbox #reply #ask #ask the pack #askthepack #moots #mutuals #anon #anonymous #my submissions #submission #skz imagines #skz reactions #skz scenarios #bang chan #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #lee felix #han jisung #kim seungmin #yang jeongin

[delacyrose224]

Strawberry Swing

Pairing: Bang Chan x reader

Genre: Valentine's Day fluff

Word Count: .8k

Author's Note: I think this is the fastest I have ever put a fic together, and I am blaming it on Bang Chan brainrot. That's all. Oh, and the song of the day is Strawberry Swing by Coldplay!

------------------------------------

You pause, fingers clasped into a fist in front of the door. This was a good idea, right? Bringing Chan food…because it was late…because he’d been working…because it’s Valentine’s Day. Right?

You’d gone back and forth on the whole thing all day. Chan hadn’t told you happy valentine’s day, though you’d texted off and on for hours. It’s not a big deal, you think to yourself. We’ve only been dating a few months. Don’t look too much into it. Maybe he thinks it’s over-commercialized. Maybe he thinks it’s stupid. Maybe he hates the color pink?

Before you can get even more lost in your train of thought, the door in front of you swings open to reveal your boyfriend’s shocked face.

“What’re you doing here? It’s so late!” Chan’s face scrunches in worry looking you over.

You’re so surprised, all you can manage is holding the takeout in your hand towards him. He takes it gently from you, peeking inside.

“For me?” You nod dumbly. “Come in, come in!” He reaches around to the small of your back, guiding you inside his studio.

As you sit on the couch in the far corner of the room, you fidget with your hands. “Is this okay?” you ask.

“Is what okay? Bringing me food? Always.” A small smile dances across his lips as he looks at you fondly. You breathe a sigh of relief and grin.

“How long were you out there?” he asks. A chuckle escapes your lips.

“I don’t think you want to know. Or maybe I’m just keeping an air of mystery about me.”

“Do I still make you that nervous, babe?” Chan throws an overexaggerated wink your way, then barely dodges the pillow you throw at his head. “Hey!”

“You deserved that,” you chide.

“Okay, fine, fine. I’m glad you came by…I missed you.” He stands up, moving across the room to land a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“...what a simp.” It’s your turn to dodge as he dives onto the cushion beside you, grabbing the throw pillow and aiming for your side.

“Okay, okay! I surrender!” You throw your hands over your head, and Chan uses the opportunity to wrap his arms around you and draws you into his chest.

“That’s what I thought, menace.” He leans down, dropping a kiss on the side of your neck and you grow warm at the show of affection.

The two of you sit in comfortable silence for a while, your eyes eventually starting to droop because of how late it is. 

“Hey, I thought you came to spend time with me!” Chan pouts, rubbing circles on your arm. “I haven’t even given you your gift yet.” 

“Hmm?” you murmur, still half asleep.

The hand that’s not wrapped around you fumbles beside the couch for a moment, until an envelope appears in your lap.

“What’s this?”

“Open and you’ll see,” Chan laughs. You sit up on the couch and open the pink envelope to see a card, handmade from the looks of it. There’s hearts drawn everywhere, filled in with silver glitter, and in the middle, a stick drawing of a man and a dog. You can’t help the giggle that escapes you as you flip to the inside, where Chan has written a message.

To My Valentine,

I am so very lucky to have met you. Though I haven’t known you for long, every moment we’ve spent together has been precious. You make every day brighter, and I can’t wait to spend many more months together. Gray or blue skies, we’ll face them together.

P.S. I love you Berry much!

Your face burns as you read the last sentence...you hadn’t told each other ‘I love you’ yet.

“Chan, did you make this?” 

“Yeah…I mean, it was Hyunjin’s idea to make you something, he said it would be more heartfelt and meaningful…but I made the thing! I got glitter everywhere.”

He shoves his hands in front of you, and sure enough, there’s specks of silver glitter that catch the light.

“You mean to tell me…you just were cuddling with me…with glitter on you?” He nods. “Which means it’s now on me. Which means it’s never coming off.”

“Um…I just wanted to give you a physical representation of how much I love you?” he offers.

“You love me?” Chan’s ears go pink at your question, but he nods firmly.

“I do love you. Berry much, as the card says. Get it? I drew Berry on the front!” He points at the front of the card, a huge grin on his face showing just how proud he is of his pun.

“Well, I guess we’re even…because I love you so matcha too.” 

Chan groans at your joke, but can’t help laughing as well as he pulls you back toward him, locking your lips together in a kiss.

“...guess we’re a perfect pear.”

“CHAN!”

—---------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @hyungieyoongi @alpacaparkaseok @derinxfam

Read more of my work here!

#skz fluff #skz drabbles #bang chan #bang chan fluff #bang chan fic #skz fic #bang chan oneshot #bang chan x you #bang chan x y/n #bang chan x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids fic #bang chan drabbles #skz x y/n #skz x reader

[jungkookslipring]

hello! can i request a lee! han and ler! seungmin!! I was thinking the content could be something like.. Jisung felt insecure about himself and Seungmin wanted to make him smile and feel better?? Thanks so much!! love your work!!!

ABSOLUTELY

You’re Not a Burden, Never Could Be

Pairings: Han x Seungmin 🐿🐶

Genre: tword + hurt/comfort🤗❤️‍🩹

AN: I am not 110% positive how everyone's dorm is set up (other than one dorm being 3racha + Hyunjin and the other dorm being Lee Know + the maknaes). I don't know if they are separate floors or separate buildings irl but for the time being in this fic its separate floors lol. Enjoy!❤️

Everyone has their off days, and today that was the case for Han. He knew he was an outstanding rapper, vocalist, dancer, producer, member, and everything in between, but there were days where he questioned his talent. Today, he spent a large chunk of time in the studio trying to bust out as many lyrics as possible for a song he was writing. The poor thing didn't get much sleep, because when an idea would pop into his head, he would write it down. The time spent in the studio went longer than he had hoped. His original plan was to go home for a few hours to rest before they had dance practice in the evening, but when he checked the clock, he was going to have a whopping total of five minutes before he had to go to one of the practice rooms.

'shit', he thought. He was kicking himself for not getting as much done as he wanted in the span of time he was hoping. He was tired and ready to rest but depending on how practice went, they could either get home at 9 pm or 2 am. Han saved his work and quickly changed into more comfortable clothes when before making a b line to the practice room. Dance normally helps Han distract himself from everything else that he has to work on, but when it came to practicing his rapping live while dancing, he found himself stumbling over his words or stumbling over his feet. He was an ace, why was he struggling? He's human. thats why. Han was praying no one was annoyed with him or thinking less of him, and of course no one did. They all knew everyone had off days, but that didn't bug Han any less. He hardly talked at all during practice, only responding when someone would say "Okay lets practice this" or "okay lets run through this again". Han was exhausted. Luckily, Lee Know and Bang Chan are both saints and dance practice lasted only a few hours, allowing everyone to go home at 9 pm. The two oldest knew how hard everyone has been working on the album, and they are all aware how much goes into an album. While everyone was packing their bags Seungmin walked up behind Han and gently put a hand on his shoulder, making sure he wouldn't startle the other.

"You alright, Han?" Seungmin asked. Han kept his focal point on his zipper, distracting himself from the stinging behind his eyes.

"I'm just tired, Minnie," Han whispered, trying to keep his voice at bay. It wasn't a total lie; he was tired, but not just physically. Seungmin really didn't want to push until he saw Han's eyes get watery. Han closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath.

"Thats good Hannie, breathe, there you go," Seungmin said quietly as he lightly rubbed his fellow September brother's back, trying not to draw attention to the pair. He did this a couple times before Han was sure his eyes weren't too watery anymore. He gave Seungmin a tightlined smile and patted his shoulder.

"Thanks Seungmin," he said kindly. Seungmin nodded and kept his hand on Han's back all the way out to the car. It wasn't too long of a car ride, but while they were in the car Han kept his headphones on and stared out the window. His phone suddenly pinged, and he saw Seungmin’s name pop up.

“I’m here if you want to talk”.

Han smiled before replying

“Maybe when we get home”. The guys didn’t question it when Seungmin followed Han into the 3racha+Hyunjin dorm. Seungmin told Lee Know he’d be back before midnight. Seungmin and Han went to Han’s bedroom, shutting the door softly. Han set his headphones aside while Seungmin sat on the bed crisscrossed, letting Han take his time.

“It’s really not that big of a deal…just feeling…I don’t know insecure about my work lately…” Han trailed off. Seungmin nodded, letting Han say everything he wants to say before the younger September brother could give his two sense.

“I was already sort of struggling today with lyrics, and I got in my head, and it kind of followed into dance practice. The more I overthought, the harder it was to focus. I was focusing too much and too little if that makes sense?” Han asked, making eye contact contact with Seungmin. The younger of the two nodded.

“It makes sense, I know what you mean,” he said reassuringly. Han scratched the back of his neck before letting out a slightly frustrated sigh.

“I’m sorry I’m like this…” he whispered, his voice slightly shaky. Seungmin shook his head.

“No no no none of that, Hannie,” Seungmin said gently before pulling Han into a hug. The rapper didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Seungmin and burry his face into his shoulder.

“You’re doing amazing, Han, and I’m not saying that just as a friend. You are extremely talented, you’re a hard worker, and a kick ass ace. Its perfectly normal to have off days. Everybody has them. So please don’t apologize for being human, yeah?” Seungmin said as he started rubbing Han’s back. Han nodded into his shoulder, too scared to speak because if he does he’s worried he’ll start crying.

“Now, where that cute quokka smile I love so much?” Seungmin asked before using one hand to poke Han’s ribs. The other squeaked as he folded in on himself, trying to protect his sensitive rib cage Seungmin was attacking.

“Nohoho I’m too sahahad to be lahahaughing,” Han whined, but his whines mixed with giggles so fluently it was just too cute.

“And that is completely valid but I wanna hear you laugh!” Seungmin smiled as he took his over hand and started squeezing both of Han’s ribs. He squealed before falling back on his bed, kicking himself because now Seungmin had full access to his torso. He poked and prodded and squeezed and wiggled his fingers on Han’s ribs, eventually moving down to his abs. Han threw his head back as his giggles turned into laughter.

“Minniehehehehehe it’s so bahahahahad!” he laughed as he tried grabbing a hold of Seungmin’s wrists. Seungmin was way too quick and sped up the attack, leaving Han no chance but to just cross his arms over his stomach in attempt to block Seungmin’s fingers. It worked for a solid 5 seconds until Seungmin decided to lay on top of Han, grab his arms with one hand, and pin them to his chest, giving Seungmin access not only to his tummy, but his tummy that was now completely exposed given that his shirt has risen above his belly button. Seungmin dug his fingers into Han’s abs, forcing squeaky laughs to erupt from the rapper.

“SEUNGMINNIEHEHE *squeak* IHIHIHIT TICKLES SO BAHAHAHAD *squeak*”

“You’re so cuuuuute!” Seungmin sang over Han’s adorable laughter. Han couldn’t move at all, all he could do was kick his feet and shake his head, but he had to admit that all the laughing was making him feel better. Seungmin had one more idea before letting him go. He didn’t even warn the poor kid; all he did was push his arms further up his chest, trapping Han’s arms with his forearm, and blowing the longest raspberry on Han’s belly button. Han went ballistic.

“NAHHHHHAHAHAHA YOU SUHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU SUCK SO BAHAHAHAHAD!” Han screeched.

“Rude! I was going to only give you one raspberry but now you need to be punished!” Seungmin declared. He blew raspberry after raspberry while using his other hand to scratch at Han’s lower tummy. Seungmin definitely took notes on when Lee Know would torture them.

“NOHOHOHOHAHAHAHA I’M SORRYHEHEHEHEHEHE MINNIE PLEAHEHEHEASE I’M HAPPY I’M HAPPY I’M HAPPYHEHEHE” Han screamed before he fell into silent laughter. Seungmin stopped the raspberry’s and slowed down on the tickles. Han was a giggly mess catching his breath as Seungmin stared at him and smiled.

“You okay Hannie?” Seungmin asked. Han nodded, giggles continuing to flow from his mouth.

“I’m feeling much better Minnie, thank you,” he said pulling the younger down on top of him, wrapping his arms around his figure. Seungmin returned the hug, not without jabbing Han’s ribs a couple times. Han shouted out protests before Seungmin completely stopped.

“You’re such a menace,” Han laughed as Seungmin gave him puppy dog eyes.

“A menace who loves you and is always here for you,” Seungmin said, getting super shy all of a sudden. Han smiled and held him close.

“I know you are.”

#stray kids #stray kids x stay #stray kids fluff #skz fanfic #stray kids tickle #seungmin #han jisung #tword fic #tword blog #tword community #tword content #kpop tickling #kpop tickle #tickling kpop #skzoo

[edengreeen]

231003 loossemble fansign in sf 💌📡

cross posting to tumblr because... i can... i had so much fun and the girls were so sweet and i wanted to talk about it again T__T all the details are below!!!

yeojin 🐻🧡 ⭐️ i asked her how she was, and that she looked really cute today! she said thank you :3 ⭐️ i then asked her that i saw on her ig she was walking around SF yesterday, and wanted to know what her favorite thing she saw was ⭐️ she said the sea lions (at pier 39!) she said that she wanted to lay with them ⭐️ i laughed and said the weather has been really good in SF, and that loossemble brought the good weather here ⭐️ she said yes but it was still a bit chilly for her

vivi 🦌💕 ⭐️ b4 the fansign started while i was in line she looked away from the table since no one was at her spot yet and no one was paying attention rly but me so we locked eyes and waved hello to each other. i teared up a little i felt so much love in my heart in that moment ⭐️ i told her i think she is the prettiest girl in the world and that i love her so much. she smiled and said that she loves me too (AHHHHH) ⭐️ i also asked her what One Piece character she thinks she is most similar to ⭐️ she said chopper! i said omg like your hat! in the album!

hyunjin 🐱💛 ⭐️ idk why but i freaked out in front of her + completely forgot what i was going to say for a second i was like ahhhh hiii how are youuuu ⭐️ she said she is good! ⭐️ i then asked if there was a different kind of concept she wants to try for loossemble in a future cb ⭐️ she said angel / devil! ⭐️ i then asked if she wanted to play rock paper scissors ⭐️ she won! i played paper she played scissors so she got excited! ⭐️ i told her that she’s the best at this!!! (i was hoping she would win so i could say this hehe)

hyeju 🐺🖤 ⭐️ i told her that i think she’s the most beautiful girl ever and that i love her a lot, and i’m glad to see her on stage again ⭐️ she smiled and said thank you ⭐️ i then asked her if there was any song that she wanted to cover in the future, vocal or dance ⭐️ …. i couldn’t quite hear so i kind of missed it :( it was a korean artist from what i remember. i’m trying my best to figure it out rn ⭐️ she also noticed that i had a chaetty keychain on my bag (gowon 10cm plush) so she asked if i liked gowon (see pic) ⭐️ i laughed a little, said yes! but i love all of loossemble too haha ⭐️ and she smirked and looked to gowon who was to the left of her

it was clipped to my bag so it was like a keychain!!~

gowon 🦋💙 ⭐️if u kno me. you know i’ll act like a fool in front of gowon she is so cutie pie irl… ⭐️ but i told her that she is my bias and that i have been here for a long time and that i love her!!! she said thank you so much ~ ⭐️ i then asked her if she could draw me a tattoo! she looked kind of surprised LOL i said anything is fine any! ⭐️ she then asked me what i liked, and i told her stars moons cats bunnies ⭐️ she drew something for a second and then told me… star cat!!!! it smudged a little 😭

^^ STAR KITTY!!!!!!!! (im so so so sad its smudged)

⭐️ i said this is super cute! thank you so much 🥹❤️ i want to try and get it soon! i’m so sad it smudged but u can still see what she was trying to do there

and that was it!!!! it moved really quickly but i had so much fun, and i was so happy to see all the girls and meet them one on one. they are so kind and i am sooooo grateful for all the opportunities i’ve had to speak with them this comeback. and thank you to saranghello in san francisco for hosting! im so happy to have seen loona in my area. my home is ur home!!! ahhhh theyre my girls forever!!!! i will always be supporting loossemble, and in turn all of loona 🥹❤️

#loossemble #gowon #hyeju #hyunjin #yeojin #vivi #loona #loossemble fansign #loossemble sf fansign #best day of my life #lomls <3 #fansign event #🐇 #pinned #im more active on my twt 19thofnov

[lunaflvms]

I posted 2,197 times in 2022

That's 2,197 more posts than 2021!

1,741 posts created (79%)

456 posts reblogged (21%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lunaflvms

@enloveclub

@mitsukifilms

@maiwon

I tagged 2,125 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#˖ ࣪ luna’s mailbox! ˖ ࣪ - 1,319 posts

#˖ ࣪ mail from: ˖ ࣪ ⸱ - 1,315 posts

#✦ luna’s anons。°˖ ✧ - 560 posts

#ˏˋ*⁀➷ luna’s moots ˖ ࣪ - 508 posts

#˖ ࣪ luna’s reblogs! ˖ ࣪ - 350 posts

#˖ ࣪ luna’s thoughts ˖ ࣪ - 311 posts

#chuu cherrie - 75 posts

#one16core - 59 posts

#enhypen social media au - 55 posts

#enhypen smau - 55 posts

Longest Tag: 143 characters

#bye jokes and all parent issues are so not cool 🤬🤬🤬🤬 like why would you (grown ass adult that has kids) beef with some teenager (emo child)

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

🌷🧚‍♀️🧼; ᝰꜜ ᩠˚ 𖤐 fairy of shampoo !

sypnosis: demons and angels have always existed in this world, hidden away in the shadows and guiding people to do right or wrong in many different forms and identities. This time as broke stressed out college students, Hyunjin a 1000+ old demon had a special duty to go guide a young boy in college but struggles when he see another person in the boys life that might make him fail his task. What happens when one demon and one angel both get assigned to the same person?

pairing: demon!hyunjin x angelfem!reader

featuring: enhypen, straykids, txt, itzy, wonyoung from ive and more!

genre: enemies to lovers, slowburn?, fluff, crack, angst maybe, fantasy au, college au

warnings: swearing, idk not much tbh ill add when i need too, maybe some suicidal jokes? like saying kys or kms or sumn 🤕, mentions of blood

author’s note: please ignore the fact the header looks very similar to my fiesta one 😓 i made it at 1 am and im lacking my creative mind rn, it still took me more than 1 hour tho 😒 HELP AND MY SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW⁉️ IM SOBBING CRYING BLEEDING AND THROWING UP 😭

also this fic is inspired by @ddeonuism my accidental demon roomate!! i just wanted to give creds cuz one part of the story i planned for them is something similiar that happened in her book :) DONT WORRY THO THE PLOT IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT 😭

release date: 25th january 2022

taglist: (open) send an ask

See the full post

471 notes - Posted January 24, 2022

#4

鐵線蓮花; ᝰꜜ ᩠˚ 𖤐 enhypen reactions !

See the full post

705 notes - Posted February 26, 2022

#3

西村力; ᝰꜜ ᩠˚ 𖤐 WISHLIST !

sypnosis: having a famous idol brother had its pros and cons, the pros? well you kind of get second hand fame if you ever go public on social media. the cons? well your annoying brother always tries to set you up with his members, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing if he didn’t keep trying to set you up with his groups maknae nishimura riki who you once met and had accidentally spilled coffee on you and then told you to suck it up.

pairing: idol!nishimura riki x fem!reader

featuring: enhypen, txt, itzy, straykids, ive + more

genre: social media au, fluff, crack, enemies to lovers, idol au, brothers bestfriend au

warnings: swearing, my humour 💀

author’s note: WISHLIST came first with over 20 vote 💀 wow anyways if you still want to vote for another one please do its for the future works im going to write i will add more maybe even a soobin smau 😱🤣 lol vote here

release date: after fiesta (will release prologue before that tho)

taglist: (open) send an ASK, replies will not be added anymore

See the full post

1,848 notes - Posted February 17, 2022

#2

엔하이픈 ; ᝰꜜ ᩠˚ 𖤐 luna’s enhypen fic recs !

See the full post

2,090 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

🎨 🌷; ᝰꜜ ᩠˚ 𖤐 FIESTA !

sypnosis: Jungwon has always admired you from a distance, watching you practice dancing in the hybe practice rooms, purposely trying to bump into you while wondering around the hybe building and also leaving nice notes for you to find. When you debut in a group, being Enhypen’s younger group, it’s Jungwon’s perfect opportunity to get to know you better but one day he gets into a dating scandal with your best friend. Which leads to you trying to get both of them together, what will he do now?

pairing: idol!yang jungwon x trainee to idol!fem reader

featuring: enhypen, straykids, txt, nct dream, itzy, ive + more!

genre: fluff, crack, maybe a tiny bit of angst? friends to lovers, idol au

warnings: swearing, my humour 😓, y/n is a lil clueless, yeonjun /j, dispatch, invasion of privacy idk

release date: 20th january 2022

taglist: closed!!

See the full post

2,175 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[baekhvuns]

I hope we get some updates from Kai soon, I heard SM requested not to send him letters? And I hope he will be able to rest and regenerate, but social work is so weird, because he's literally home and kinda free, but can't participate in the cb... such a strange arrangement. At least when you're actually in the military you're away. Armchairs saying shit like "oh, he thought the BTS law applies to him?" stfu, cunts for real. But thank you Kim Kai for serving so hard with Rover, the world will remember!

Nope I'm back in Seoul, I'm staying here then going to HK for a moment, idk when I will be back in London and tbh I'm not looking forward to it 😬

AHHHHHHH I SAW SHINEEEEEE TWICE AND ON DAY 2 MINKEY CAME TO MY SIDE AND THEY WERE LITERALLY NEXT TO ME, MINHO TOUCHED MY HAND! AND HE HUGGED SOMEONE TOO. They performed one of their new songs, summer bop me thinks! And DCM DANCE PRACTICE AFTER 1000 YEARS WOW

Omg I hate when the questionable webtoons get adaptations (yes, True Beauty I'm talking about you) idk why they're so popular... maybe a good cast can somehow save it

Can I be a hater again and say that Seonghwa in grills looks so silly, like I'm sorry but asjjsjshahshsdjsjsbs y'all stay safe screaming, shaking and throwing up, but I legit yelled JUMPSCARE when he appeared 😭 guess no matter how down bad for him I am, I still have my limits. He has a villainous face, but he's not a gangster YOU WON'T FOOL ME. Grills make sense on rappers, but otherwise I really dislike them... A biker jacket and grills, oh he really thinks he's a Neo 😬 face card didn't decline ofc he looked hot, just let's keep the mouth closed, amen 🙏🏻 Why can't they do more for the promo pics and why can't they post more photos....

I'd say so far the MG x HJ song sounds the most interesting, overall the songs don't necessarily stand out. And look I like noise and fun, ass shakers are okay, but I need more versatility y'know... They haven't really got me in the trenches music-wise since Deja Vu :/ that was the last song that was an instant hit for me since the teaser dropped. Yep can't believe I'm saying this, bc as much as I like the lore and used to be sooooooo into it, it is kinda limiting at this point

GODDDD LOOK AT THIS MODEL https://twitter.com/ATEEZofficial/status/1661964508825518081?t=MXO020zlvR_OTmI30opndQ&s=19 he's literally wearing YSL sandals (Ten wore the same ones...) so what's stopping them from inviting him to their events I'M SO SICK AND TIRED 💀💀💀💀 and the glasses too?! https://twitter.com/8teez_world/status/1662472208978006018?t=NB54XML0PEs9oD2mTR6c1A&s=19 I don't even like YSL much, cause they've been designing the same shit for years, but I'll get him that sponsorship!!!

Donatella followed SKZ, oh Hyunjin is definitely getting that Versace bag!!! Put him on the runaway too 👀 I just need to free Felix from LV and get him a more interesting deal

Yes I am taller than Ten, he wore heels but so did I, so nice try boy. Unfortunately did not manhandle him, BUT I did shoot my shot and said hi also told him he looked great and he responded, so we're best friends now <3 so Black Opium is quite strong, I like strong perfume for fall and winter or evenings

Uhhhhm Krystal at Cannes, meanwhile https://www.koreaboo.com/news/former-girls-generation-member-jessica-jung-blanc-eclare-evicted-not-paying-rent/ I heard she's doing well in China though, she's on the 2nd season of Great Dance Crew too, but everything about her business endeavours has been questionable

I'M SEEING TAEYONG FINALLY. God I really thought I'd have to sit through an NCT 127 gig just to see him, so bless his upcoming album!

Lmao the Bangpink wattpad writers from 2017 are living right now, Taennie, Taelisa content 👀👀👀👀 this is all very amusing to me, especially Army x Blink meltdowns

WHAT'S UP WITH WAYV LATELY I LOVE THE ENERGY https://twitter.com/smoldejuns/status/1662701927975784448?t=4foUSfDlZxI73Nu_F0nB0Q&s=19 between this and Yuta saying being in NCT is difficult jshshajsgwhwhhw 😭😭😭😭 these men are so done. Sungtaro in a new group that isn't NCT??? Who thought of this...

London is what? Idk I can't see bestie, London who??? 🙈🙉🙊

Omg I hope the weather gets mor stable for you! The weather in SK is kinda crazy as well and I already miss Thai weather, even though the climate can be difficult

What...https://twitter.com/nobodylikehwa/status/1662466812703809537?t=wYQ_CoJ7_BTupZSKPusBzg&s=19 he's gonna crash after 3 minutes, but ok

We ghostwrote this https://twitter.com/Kpopmap/status/1662352938721787906?t=yp2SDRk8Vek5Fqzzubdh0A&s=19

Fifty Fifty in Barbie? https://twitter.com/kchartsmaster/status/1661720962511822851?t=xIx3N6RGa8GQLRouGhTorw&s=19 didn't expect that - DV 💖

hello!!!

I hope we get some updates from Kai soon, I heard SM requested not to send him letters? And I hope he will be able to rest and regenerate, but social work is so weird, because he's literally home and kinda free, but can't participate in the cb... such a strange arrangement. At least when you're actually in the military you're away. Armchairs saying shit like "oh, he thought the BTS law applies to him?" stfu, cunts for real. But thank you Kim Kai for serving so hard with Rover, the world will remember!

i hope so too!!! got some new ysl beauty commercials form him in his blond era 😭😭 cried a little ngl,,, and it’s only been a few days….we gotta wait till 2025 oh my god- i am PISSED ALL OVER AGAIN THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE YEAR OHHHHH LORD, nO LITERALLY LIKE HOW ARE THEY GONNA DO THEIR COMEBACK WITHOUT THE FACE OF THE GROUP??? he’s free at him bring him back to the studio 😭😭

bts law this bts law that i AM TIRED, like doesn’t mx have the same one??? NO BC ROVER, IM ROVERING EVERY DAY HE SERVED SO HARD THAT THEY CALLED HIM IN THE BARRACKS TO RESERVE 😭😭😭😭

Nope I'm back in Seoul, I'm staying here then going to HK for a moment, idk when I will be back in London and tbh I'm not looking forward to it 😬 //// AHHHHHHH I SAW SHINEEEEEE TWICE AND ON DAY 2 MINKEY CAME TO MY SIDE AND THEY WERE LITERALLY NEXT TO ME, MINHO TOUCHED MY HAND! AND HE HUGGED SOMEONE TOO. They performed one of their new songs, summer bop me thinks! And DCM DANCE PRACTICE AFTER 1000 YEARS WOW

AAAHHHHH BACK IN SEOUL,, no bc imagine going back to london and seeing all the grey loomy depressive skies <//3 FHWMDHKWBDWKDWK U SAW SHINEE??? TWICEE???? SCREAMS SCREAMS!!!! HE TOUCHED UR HAND??? HOW WAS IT PDF ME EVERYTHING,, FUCK HOW DID THE SONG SOUND LIKE???? OH MY GOD U GOT TO HEAR IT??? TELL ME THE VIBES THE VOCALS PLS WHAT GENRE IS IT 😭😭😭😭

Omg I hate when the questionable webtoons get adaptations (yes, True Beauty I'm talking about you) idk why they're so popular... maybe a good cast can somehow save it

no literally i keep seeing more edits of try beauty and it rly, rly makes me question like how tf u gonna chose suho over seojun???? like what???? hopefully a good cast will bc that webtoon is hideous,,, a dupe of the better version,, but im vv excited for yoona & junho’s new show!! sounds like a business proposal type hehe

Can I be a hater again and say that Seonghwa in grills looks so silly, like I'm sorry but asjjsjshahshsdjsjsbs y'all stay safe screaming, shaking and throwing up, but I legit yelled JUMPSCARE when he appeared 😭 guess no matter how down bad for him I am, I still have my limits. He has a villainous face, but he's not a gangster YOU WON'T FOOL ME. Grills make sense on rappers, but otherwise I really dislike them... A biker jacket and grills, oh he really thinks he's a Neo 😬 face card didn't decline ofc he looked hot, just let's keep the mouth closed, amen 🙏🏻 Why can't they do more for the promo pics and why can't they post more photos....

LMFAOOOO NOT JUMPSCARE 😭😭😭 UR RIGHT HE HAS A VILLIAN FACE NOT A GANGSTER,, THAT OPEN MIGHT THING BRO IN HIS WANNABE GANGSTER ERA and if he throws up the gang signs iM SCREAMING RHWKDDKQL grills on mingi juseyo 🤲🏻🤲🏻 seonghwa in the new neo tokyo group fbkwdhkd he’s gonna resonate isn’t he 😭😭 LETS KEEP THAT MOUTH CLOSED LMFAOOOOOOO FJQJFHWKDHWK

I'd say so far the MG x HJ song sounds the most interesting, overall the songs don't necessarily stand out. And look I like noise and fun, ass shakers are okay, but I need more versatility y'know... They haven't really got me in the trenches music-wise since Deja Vu :/ that was the last song that was an instant hit for me since the teaser dropped. Yep can't believe I'm saying this, bc as much as I like the lore and used to be sooooooo into it, it is kinda limiting at this point

right!! their rap sounds pretty solid im vv excited and then it transitioned into vocals and 🫠🫠, no ur right ass shakers are good but let’s revamp a little <3 for funsies <3 pls <3 yeah! i also used to enjoy it so much but it’s like every little thing is a lore atp, i just want to scream to music idc who’s lost in a desert and who’s time travelling, NEED GOOD MUSIC!!! but the promo of it is so funny like wdym ur selling chillies 😭😭 the album looks pretty but def not gonna get it this time not very into it atm!!

GODDDD LOOK AT THIS MODEL https://twitter.com/ATEEZofficial/status/1661964508825518081?t=MXO020zlvR_OTmI30opndQ&s=19 he's literally wearing YSL sandals (Ten wore the same ones...) so what's stopping them from inviting him to their events I'M SO SICK AND TIRED 💀💀💀💀 and the glasses too?! https://twitter.com/8teez_world/status/1662472208978006018?t=NB54XML0PEs9oD2mTR6c1A&s=19 I don't even like YSL much, cause they've been designing the same shit for years, but I'll get him that sponsorship!!!

THE DOGS ARE OUT FOR FREE?????? HDKQDKWDHWK HE’S DOING EVERYTHING FOR THAT YSL AMBASSADORSHIP AND ITS TIME WE MAKE EDITS AND TREND HIM AND DM THEM!!! A LITTLE DELULU BUT WE’VE LEARNT THIS FROM ASKING FENTY TO DM KAI,, WE GOTTA ATP! ysl just be the colour black,,, one thing if he gets to be the ambassador he’s just gonna be wearing black and white for everything 😭😭 also YUNHO as a ralph lauren guy??? esp in this collection??? need him to sign up!!!!!

Donatella followed SKZ, oh Hyunjin is definitely getting that Versace bag!!! Put him on the runaway too 👀 I just need to free Felix from LV and get him a more interesting deal

NEED A ARCHIVAL VERSACE GIANNI VERSION ON HYUNJIN!!!!! put him on that runway he’d slay omg,,, felix to ysl??? he has that look ngl or like alexander mcqueen mhm

Yes I am taller than Ten, he wore heels but so did I, so nice try boy. Unfortunately did not manhandle him, BUT I did shoot my shot and said hi also told him he looked great and he responded, so we're best friends now <3 so Black Opium is quite strong, I like strong perfume for fall and winter or evenings

ur really said uni reverse on him, if tried to one up u ur already two steps ahead 🫡 AAAAAAAAAAAAAA TO SEE HIM SO UP CLOSE AND U DID GODS JOB AND TOLD HIM HE LOOKED GREAT YEAH! besties w ten what a flex 🔫 aHHH so like headache strong??

Uhhhhm Krystal at Cannes, meanwhile https://www.koreaboo.com/news/former-girls-generation-member-jessica-jung-blanc-eclare-evicted-not-paying-rent/ I heard she's doing well in China though, she's on the 2nd season of Great Dance Crew too, but everything about her business endeavours has been questionable

forget abt her sister, ever since she started dating tyler kwon it’s all going downhill for her 🤚🏻 BUT MISS KRYSTAL????? OLD HOLLYWOOD????? MISS MAAM

what a face card ngl i watched it live and my jaw dropped multiple times, forever the it girl

i am obsessed actually

I'M SEEING TAEYONG FINALLY. God I really thought I'd have to sit through an NCT 127 gig just to see him, so bless his upcoming album! /// Lmao the Bangpink wattpad writers from 2017 are living right now, Taennie, Taelisa content 👀👀👀👀 this is all very amusing to me, especially Army x Blink meltdowns

DBWKDHWKDHWKDHAKDHAK SEEING HIM AND HIS COMEBACK??? IT SOUNDS LIKE A GHIBLI MUSIC IM SO EXCITED THE VIBES ARE SO GENTLE AND NOSTALGIC watch it he completely different tho,, his album design is also so so pretty omg,, NOOO FRRRR IM AFRAID TO CHECK WATTPAD BC IK THOSE 2016-2018 MAMA AWARDS TIME BANGPINK SHIPPERS ARE HAVING A FULL BREAKDOWN OR CELEBRATING,,, the cosplay thing really got me crying too 😭😭😭 all very good but imagine the ‘jokes’ that will happen when they break up and when jennie gets most of them bfwmbdwkdbsk

WHAT'S UP WITH WAYV LATELY I LOVE THE ENERGY https://twitter.com/smoldejuns/status/1662701927975784448?t=4foUSfDlZxI73Nu_F0nB0Q&s=19 between this and Yuta saying being in NCT is difficult jshshajsgwhwhhw 😭😭😭😭 these men are so done. Sungtaro in a new group that isn't NCT??? Who thought of this...

ITS CALLED BEING DOZEN FREE !!!!!! nct officially entering their idgaf era w sm is what we needed now we know we’ll get good tittle tracks,,, sungtaro….sungchan dIDNT drop his entire bussy in 90’s love rap to get ousted like this,,, fuck the new group bring them back 😭

London is what? Idk I can't see bestie, London who??? 🙈🙉🙊 //// Omg I hope the weather gets mor stable for you! The weather in SK is kinda crazy as well and I already miss Thai weather, even though the climate can be difficult

LONDON IS WHAT???

how many times in a row??

the weather is absolutely disgusting and im constantly reminded why winter never leaves canada <333 thai weather must’ve been crazy hot no? def better than sk, sk sometimes reminds me of london, somehow always raining or being humid

What...https://twitter.com/nobodylikehwa/status/1662466812703809537?t=wYQ_CoJ7_BTupZSKPusBzg&s=19 he's gonna crash after 3 minutes, but ok /// We ghostwrote this https://twitter.com/Kpopmap/status/1662352938721787906?t=yp2SDRk8Vek5Fqzzubdh0A&s=19 //// Fifty Fifty in Barbie? https://twitter.com/kchartsmaster/status/1661720962511822851?t=xIx3N6RGa8GQLRouGhTorw&s=19 didn't expect that - DV 💖

…..seonghwa

if he ever did f1 his career will go down the drain, takes a right and boom into the barriers “and there goes park seonghwa! flying into the barriers in sector one!”

wdym ghost wrote?? that was US,, remember? itch ur brain a little u will remember 😵‍💫 NO BC THATS SO EXCITING SEEINF THEM THERE THEY LEFT NUGUDOM!!!! ik everyone’s crazy about cupid but their song lovin me has me going everyday, the vocal blend they did is so stunning makes me tear up

anon. his clean girl look era <3 he’s so gorgeous oh my god

busi and alba leaving 💖🔫🔫🔫 and rumours of di maria @ barca….imagine a messi-dimaria-lewy ,,, o it’s over for rm fhwkdhwk

also.. LMFAOOOO WHYS HE EVADING THE FIRE 😭😭😭

they got more comebacks on twt than on the pitch

AND I FUCKING JUMPED ??????????!!? let my dreams come true pls

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

[kwanisms]

I posted 2,635 times in 2022

That's 1,877 more posts than 2021!

100 posts created (4%)

2,535 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jinhyun

@changbeens

@songmingisthighs

@jjunis

I tagged 658 of my posts in 2022

#stray kids - 75 posts

#stray kids scenarios - 62 posts

#stray kids imagines - 62 posts

#stray kids smut - 60 posts

#stray kids social media au - 60 posts

#stray kids angst - 60 posts

#hwang hyunjin - 60 posts

#stray kids fluff - 60 posts

#series: hiraeth - 59 posts

#stray kids reactions - 57 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#i cant imagine how stressful and scary it would be to be stranded in a foreign country after your agency cancels your flight home

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

"you can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore"

49 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

#4

Hiraeth Masterlist

➥ 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐚𝐮

summary: Moon Byeoli lives in Busan with her best friend Jamie Park. Their neighbor is Park Sungjin. Growing up, Byeoli has never really believed in the supernatural, always finding a logical explanation for the things that go bump in the night. Her life is about to be thrown out of control when new neighbors move in across the hall. What will happen when Byeoli befriends them and learns that they aren't exactly... human.

pairing: sungjin x oc x hyunjin

warnings: adult language, alcohol consumption, supernatural themes, implied sexual content, see each chapter for further warnings ⚠️

start date: 2022.09.09

end date: tba

updates every friday and saturday @ 7PM CST

a/n: times and dates DO NOT matter!! all photos are taken from pinterest. all photos used for Moon Byeoli are of Nguyen Thanh Thuy from Instagram. she owns all rights to these photos and I am only using them for entertainment purposes.

add your name to the taglist

─────────────────

twt profiles: 01 || 02

─────────────────

chapters

(pw) partially written | (w) written

prologue 01

01: too fast for ya Bobby Boy (pw)

02: can it Bob the Builder

03: calm down Spanish Inquisition

04: hot damn. howdy 🤠

05: just let things be

06: yeah shut up Jackson

07: …IN HELL????

08: please tell Perry I love him

09: SOS COME IN JIMJAMS

10: watermelon sugar BYE

11: had some deer

12: clear intent

13: tiny star

14: is that a challenge??

See the full post

49 notes - Posted September 9, 2022

#3

"if you wish to seduce an angel, you must play the part of a devil"

52 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

#2

All You Have to Do is Ask - k.jh

summary: your boyfriend ruined dinner

pairing: female reader x yesung

genres/themes: idolverse, established relationship, smut (minors dni), fluff at the end, yesung's real name is Jong-hoon (for those that don't know)

wc: 1.5k

warnings: explicit language, graphic sex, mentions of alcohol, slight praise kink, some dirty talk, unprotected sex (use protection!), creampie, and I'm including this in the warnings: Yesung is an older idol, so if the idea of having sex with someone near 40 bothers you, don't read this lmao I'm like 9 years younger than him so it doesn't bother me to read or write for older idols

a/n: hi, this is my first SuJu smut so pls be gentle. SUPER JUNIOR IS A 2ND GEN KPOP GROUP AND AS SUCH, THEY ARE THE OLDEST GROUP I'M WRITING FOR. IF THEIR AGES BOTHER YOU, GO SOMEWHERE ELSE LOL I'M ALMOST 30 SO THEY ARENT MUCH OLDER THAN ME AND IF THAT BOTHERS YOU, GET OFF MY BLOG. We don't accept ageism here. this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. gif isnt mine. I do not allow reposts or translations of my works. All my works are ©️ kwanisms.

┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄

[21:18]

Ruined. That was the only word for it. Dinner was completely ruined and it was all your boyfriend's fault.

He'd gone out immediately after practice to grab a bottle of wine before coming home to your shared apartment. You had told him you were making your favorite pasta for dinner and were excited for him to try it.

What you hadn't expected was him to come home, bottle of wine in hand only to slam the bottle on the counter and jump you the moment his eyes landed on you.

You should have expected it honestly. You knew your black dress was a little short, barely reaching the middle of your thighs and you can only imagine how frustrated he must have been to immediately start attacking your neck in wet kisses, tongue running over your skin as his hands grabbed the material of your dress in his fists before he pulled you from the stove and turned you against the counter to kiss you properly.

It was only a few moments later he had you bent over the same counter, skirt hiked up, panties ripped off and lying in a mangled mess on the hardwood floor. Your boyfriend stood behind you, one hand on your hip, the other holding your dress in a clenched fist as he thrust into you from behind.

You buried your head in your arm, moans tumbling from your lips as you felt the tip of his cock nudge against your sensitive spot. "Fuck," you heard him curse from behind you, voice barely audible of the sound of skin hitting skin filling the kitchen. "Goddamn, baby," he growled.

You glanced over your shoulder, peering back at Yesung, the sight of him losing himself completely sending more heat to your core and your walls clenched around him, spurring him on. You loved when he gave himself over to pleasure entirely.

The way his brow furrowed, the way he bit his bottom lip as he tried to focus on the quality of his thrusts. It was always quality over quantity with him in everything he did. He preferred to do things right rather than how quickly he could do them.

And that extended into sex with you.

Every angled thrust and slow deep roll of his hips made you see stars from beginning to end. He knew your body. He knew every inch of skin, knew how to tease you, how to draw out the most lewd sounds from you, whether it was with his tongue, his fingers, or his cock.

Your head dropped, a slew of moans and causes falling from your lips as you felt your orgasm approaching. Yesung must have felt it in the way your walls convulsed around him as he continued to pound into you, savoring the sight of himself disappearing inside you.

He hadn't planned on fucking you as soon as he got home. The plan was to take a shower while you finished cooking and then join you for a nice home-cooked meal and a glass of wine but when he saw you in that black dress, the short one that barely covered your ass and left your thighs completely exposed, he just couldn't hold back.

Practice had been particularly rough, tensions high amongst him and the other members as they prepared for their comeback. Heechul had been getting on their nerves, making snarky comments from the side whenever someone got the choreography wrong despite him not even dancing with them.

They had ended practice a little earlier than usual because they were all tired, annoyed, and tense. When Yesung had seen your text that you were making him dinner and asked you to pick up a nice bottle of red, he jumped at the chance to finally unwind after the last few days.

He didn't expect that he'd be fucking his frustrations out but you didn't seem to be complaining with how you moaned out his name, his real name, your hands trying to hold onto something to ground yourself against the onslaught of his hips but the smooth surface of the white marble countertops made that entirely impossible, leaving you to the mercy of his grip.

"You did this on purpose, didn't you?" he growled, voice low and husky. You let out a whimper, shaking your head quickly. "N-no," you stammered, your voice shaky. "I swear I d-didn't."

"Why else would you wear something so short?" he asked, giving you a particularly hard thrust, making you cry out. "If not to tease me, then what? Were you expecting someone else to see?" Yesung grunted, ignoring a bead of sweat that rolled down the side of his face. Though he'd cooled off from practice, here he was sweating all over again.

Though he'd much rather be fucking you than stuck in the practice room with eight other men, all as crabby as he was.

"N-no!" you mewled, letting out a gasp when you felt Yesung's hand grab your hair and tug you back, his other hand moving to cup your chin as he leaned over your back. "Did you expect me to bring home the guys?" he murmured in your ear, sending chills down your spine. "N-no, Jong-hoon, I swear," you squeaked out. You heard him hum in your ear, the hand in your hair moving around to the front of your body, pressing against your stomach, pulling you against him as he continued to thrust into you hard and slow.

"So you'd never wear this for any of them?" he asked, holding back a chuckle when you shook your head. "Never. Only f-for you," you whimpered. "You're such a good girl," he cooed, his voice sweet in contrast with the way his hips moved, driving his cock deeper and deeper into your wet cunt.

"Are you gonna be a good little slut and come for me?" he whispered. You nodded quickly. "I'm gonna cum, Hoonie," you moaned, the nickname making him groan as he let go of your chin and wrapped both arms around you, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he hastily chased his high.

See the full post

53 notes - Posted November 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

genre: smut, fluff, established relationship, bf!Hongjoong

pairing: Hongjoong × (gn) reader

wc: 963 (we short, so sorry)

warnings: smut (minors dni), cockwarming, slight exhibitionism, semi public, adult language, cuddly Woosan and Yungi, and I think that's it lol

a/n: I'm just catering to my friends who are going thru it over Hongjoong 😌 this one's for you @yoonguurt & @leadinglady17 ♥️

See the full post

171 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[stray-kids-react]

Crush doesn't think he likes them

Navi

...

*FWB mentioned in Hyunjin's*

Bang Chan

- Why -

° You were Jisung's best friend which meant you visited Stray kid's quite often, you met them when the survival show first aired and when you a Jisung were still minors or considered quite young.

° You had a crush on Chan, it started small but began eating you alive after only a few weeks. But in your eyes, he was a more mature man who would probably just see you as a younger friend. Even though it was a small age gap, it was still a gap that you always noticed.

° You over heard from Jisung (who had no idea about your crush) that Chan would go for someone older and that he's a bit self conscious that he's the oldest member. This just sealed your insecure thoughts, making you realize you truly didn't have a chance with Bang Chan.

° Jisung told you this during Double Knot era, and you started to distance yourself from Chan slowly ever since he told you that. It hurt too much to talk to your crush, knowing he'd never see you in the same light as him.

° Chan started to notice the lack of your happy energy in his studio, realizing that days were starting to turn into weeks. And he honestly didn't want to see it turn into months, Chan often saw you in his studio, playing on your phone and telling him about your day.

° Your little praises and whines whenever he played a song or refused to play a song he was working on, started playing in his head making him miss you more. He went to call your number, when he realized that he was starting to see you in a new light... Not realizing how much you meant to him.

-What happened-

° You got a small knock on your apartment door, you assumed it was Yeji coming to pick you up for a surprise girls night. But you were surprised to see Bang Chan standing there with a wolf plushie in his hands.

"Chan, what are you doing here?" You asked, taking the plushie from him as he sat down on your couch.

"I missed you, a lot." He explained, looking at you like a sad lost puppy.

° You paused the movie you were watching, glancing at him a few times as you sat there silently not knowing what to say. You couldn't tell him why you've been ignoring him without sounding selfish or immature.

"Have you been ignoring me on purpose? I need to know so I can apologize for whatever I did or said that upset you." Chan muttered, truly thinking he offended you in some way.

"I am sorry for whatever happened, I just want you to know that I miss you a lot. I didn't realize how much you meant to me until I didn't see you for a few weeks. I really missed out little chats, and your praises." He continued, making your heart shatter in a way he never knew.

° Small streams of tears trickled down your cheeks, making Chan slightly panic. He rethought everything he just said and wondered if he offended you in any way, he was used to apologizing since he was such a punching bag to netizens.

"You didn't do anything bad Chan, I'm just being really selfish. I really like you, I always have but I know that I don't have a chance with you. And it stung really bad, so I tried to distance myself to make it hurt less. Not realizing it would hurt you if I disappeared for a bit. " You explained, feeling his warm hand rub circles into your back.

"But you do have a chance with me, I literally came over here to apologize and confess my crush on you." Chan reassured, smiling softly when you looked up at him with surprise.

"Crush on me?" You asked, not believing his words.

° Chan knew you'd think he's just confessing out pity, so he made sure you knew he was being genuine. So he pressed a small kiss to your nose, cheeks, and head. Wrapping his strong around around your waist to pull you closer, he noticed you softly shiver at kisses.

"Yeah, a crush on you." He whispered, pecking your lips quickly.

Lee Know

- Why -

° You were a staff member, you mostly worked with Stray Kids and often styled Minho and Changbin. Minho was known to be one of the visuals of Stray kids, while you didn't see yourself as beautiful at all.

° You didn't have the ideal body type, you weren't fit, and you didn't have a gentle laugh or perfect manners like many desired women did in the movies and magazines. You acknowledged that you were different, and you knew that your chances with Minho were very slim.

° Your confidence was constantly being beaten down by your work mates, all of them saying no make up could save your case. It became and inside joke, an inside joke that ruined your confidence quite a bit. You practically had none left at this point.

° You were helping Minho get styled his upcoming stage, you were done and both of you had quite a bit of time to spare before the stage was ready. Minho simply sat back on his phone, occasionally glancing up at you as you cleaned your brushes and organized them.

° Minho found you adorable, he actually requested to only go to you for styling just so he could hang around you longer. He'd try to flirt with you on many occasions, unbuttoning a few too many buttons or "accidently" pushing his zippers too far down.

° That's why it came as a surprise when he heard another stylist begin to nit pick at your looks, saying you were hopeless. There were so many managers near by, but they didn't step in at all. You were being harassed and insulted infront of many idols and staff members, and no one did anything.

-What happened-

"Don't talk to y/n like that." Minho stepped in, surprising both you and the other stylist.

° You didn't even think Minho knew your name, and yet here he was sticking up for you. It felt nice to be stood up for and be reassured that you weren't a hopeless waste of life, especially from someone you'd consider a crush.

"We were just joking around, no need to get all serious and defensive." The stylist informed, coming off a bit snippy towards the idol which caused many eyes to drift towards the three of you.

"Y/n isn't laughing, and neither am I. So I'm going to take y/n away from your toxicity, and then I'm going to tell your boss about your behaviour after my performance." He snapped back, the subtle snippy attitude flying back at the stylist.

° Minho took you to an empty dressing room, shutting the door behind him. He noticed you were a bit stiff and tense as you sat up straight on the bench, he felt bad for not noticing the bullying sooner. Maybe you wouldn't be so hurt and burned now if he could've known sooner.

"Are you alright? Those words she said were pretty harsh." Minho asked, sitting beside you as his tone began to soften the more he spoke.

"Yeah, I'm used to that. They like to joke around with me, I guess I'm just a bit oversensitive. That's all." You defend, only making him feel worse for not stepping in earlier.

"Don't say that, you have every reason to be upset if you're treated like that. Especially since you don't deserve any ounce of it, you're a talented and gorgeous stylist who deserves nothing but respect." He countered, cupping your face in his hands so you'd look at him.

° His words wanted to make you crawl into a ball and cry, you stayed strong and only let the tears gloss your eyes slightly. No one has ever said something like this to you before, and it felt amazing. You would kiss him right then and there if it weren't for the underline fear of crossing a line.

"You're so nice, I really appreciate your kindness Minho. But you don't have to pity me-" You started, only getting interrupted when you felt soft warm lips press against yours softly.

° His lips felt like a warm blanket on the coldest of Winters, mixed with the fuzzy happiness you get when you receive a gift. It was magical, and you couldn't believe the kiss was with your crush, who was an idol with millions of fans who would die to be in your position.

"Do you think I'm pitying you now?" He asked, a playful smirk crossing his lips.

Changbin

- Why -

° Changbin was your crush, your crush throughout elementary til you graduated. But there was one very important issue with this, he was your best friend and also your other best friend's brother. That is why you and only you knew about your crush on him.

° The worst parts of being his best friend was when he decided to invite you guys to work out with him, which led to you nearly blowing your cover by drooling over him. Or whenever he went on a date with someone, and you had to act like you weren't totally heartbroken.

° You moved away after college, wanting to explore the world. And you only ever had to text or call your best friends rather then see them face to face, it had a lot less pressure. You thought you'd barely see them until holidays, but that's when you bumped into him...

° You were picking a new video game to try out, when you bumped shoulders with someone. When you turned to see who it was, you gasped aloud realizing it was Changbin.... Without his sibling too. You also knew that he broke up with his girlfriend four months ago, so your mind was racing.

° You both started chatting about life, Changbin admitting he was staying at a crappy motel. And your sweet and large heart, immediately made you suggest the idea of him moving in with you. Only regretting your choices when he agreed with his adorable smile that you cherished.

° So there you were, unboxing his stuff in your apartment, trying not to look at the old photos of him and his girlfriend for too long. You assumed he was still into her since he still had photos of her, which made your small amount of confidence fade into a distance.

- What happened -

° Changbin noticed the photos you unpacked, he accidently mixed up his trash box with a regular box. He was planning on burning those photos, but right now he had a lot more things to do before he could think about putting a match to his old toxic relationship.

"Sorry, I mean to burn those. I guess they got mixed up with the actual boxes." Changbin sighed, stealing the envelopes filled with his ex.

"What happened between you two, last time I checked you both were nearly engaged." You asked, remembering the time you cried cause he bought a ring for his ex.

"I found out she was actually engaged to another man the whole time, and had three children as well. I felt like a stupid piece of shit, I immediately apologized to her fiancé and told him I had no idea. Before I moved out and came here to try and heal." He explained, throwing his photos into your trash bin.

"Damn, that sucks. I'm so sorry Changbin, I can't imagine how hurt you must've been." You murmured, gently stroking arm as he tensed up under your touch.

° Changbin didn't look as hurt as you thought he would have, he must have healed up quite a bit over the four months. You still felt terrible that he was cheated on in such a dramatic manner, no one should have to find out the person they love was lying to them the entire time.

"Is there anything I could do to help?" You ask, surprised when you feel Changbin's arm snake around your waist.

"There is one thing." Changbin muttered, a playful glint sparkling in his eyes.

° You have seen this playful glint many times, whenever he teased you, pranked you, saw you blush, or even when you fell asleep on him that one time. But this look in his eyes was a bit different, you could tell there was some serious tendencies behind his boba eyes.

"W-what is it?" You stuttered, noticing his eyes continuing to flutter down to your lips.

° You felt his lips interlock with yours, as his fingers gently traced your jaw. His bracelet and cold rings sent shivers across your body from the coolness of them, but you heart made waves of heat flush through you when you realized what was actually happening.

"That." Changbin whispered, smiling at your breathless expression.

Hyunjin

- Why -

° You and Hyunjin were in the same group of friends throughout your school years, you wouldn't consider each other best friend's but you would definitely hang around each other and feel comfortable doing so. Around Senior year is when you started finding Hyunjin hot.

° You were invited to the dance studio to watch Hyunjin dance, he always wanted your opinions since you didn't sugar coat a lot of things. That trait was one of the many traits he adored about you, he also invited you over to make up for the loss time he ditched with you during school.

° The dance was... Racy. Lots of grinding, expressions that made you turn red, and crawling. It was much different than his usual free and loose dance solos that he showed off, this one seemed to be much more serious as if he were trying to tell you something.

° The song ended with him pressing you against the studio mirror, smirking gently when he heard your breath hitch in your throat by how close you two were. A rush of confidence flooded Hyunjin, and soon the music was replaced by the sounds of subtle whines and lips smacking together.

° That night was the start of many night where you and Hyunjin would get intimate without even knowing if you two found each other attractive enough to actually date. You two created a confusing mess that both of you hated but craved way too often.

° You both agreed to not tell anyone you two were friends with benefits, but your friends were a bit suspicious when they found Hyunjin's hoodie in the corner of your room. They thought you two were just crushing on each other, not knowing you both were a confused horny mess.

- What happened -

° You two finished your first round of the night, both of you knowing mentally that there would be at least one more. Both of your bare bodies were sweaty and burning hot, so Hyunjin opened his window to let some of the nighttime cool air begin to brush against your skin.

° You noticed that Hyunjin was different that night, he was much softer with you and continuously praised you in a much more heartwarming way. He even called you 'love', which you could tell he soon regretted and tried to forget about.

"Hyunjin, why'd you call me love?" You asked, semi hoping he'd confess his love to you.

"I guess I was just too into the moment, I'm sorry if it stressed you out." He murmured, his voice slightly raspy from the continuous noises he made.

"But you were also really gentle and sweet with me, plus you didn't look me in the eyes like you always do. I know something is up Hwang Hyunjin." You countered, watching him sigh as he passed you one of his shirts to wear.

"It's nothing... Let's just get some sleep." Hyunjin whispered, his eyes completely dull and filled with sadness.

° You knew Hyunjin quite well, something was bothering him. But you knew of you kept asking questions he'd grow frustrated just like many other people do. You wondered if he didn't want to continue this any longer, maybe he found someone who he actually wants to date.

"Hyunjin, do you want to end this?" You asked, watching his eyes perk up in surprise.

"I do, but not in the way you think." He answered, only making you more confused than you already were.

"I love you. And I know there is a 50% chance you don't love me back, but I'm willing to take that chance if it means that I can take you on a real date and get to be called your boyfriend. I've always loved you, but I didn't want to erase something good if it wouldn't get any better. " Hyunjin explained, making your heart skip a few beats.

"I love you too. I always have." You whisper, stroking your hand through his hair as his serious pout turned into a warm grin.

° You and Hyunjin may have not had any more rounds that night, but you both consider it to be one of the best days of your life. You were both too scared of rejection and filled with doubt, that you never realized the obvious crushed you both had on each other.

Han

-Why-

° You had a very toxic and manipulative relationship, he cheated on you, verbally abused you, and bullied you for quite some time. You broke up with him after you found him sleeping in bed with your close friend, your heart completely shattered and destroyed.

° Throughout your journey of healing, you realized that you did have one person who had your back. And it was your ex's best friend Han Jisung, he visited you every day the moment you broke up with your ex. He always made sure you were doing okay, and really helped you heal.

° You overheard Jisung fighting with you ex over the phone, not referring to him as a friend anymore. In all honesty the way he treated you sickened Jisung enough to not want to be associated with him at all, especially since he knew you were such a kind and warm person.

° You grew attached to Jisung after a few months, but thanks to the verbal hell your ex put you through... You were convinced he would never go on a date with you. When in reality he was the original person who had a crush on you, your ex just made the first move.

° There were so many other choices that didn't have baggage with them, and he still decided to stick by your side and make sure you're alright. You didn't want to ruin his life, so you'd suggest distancing yourself but he'd always reassure you that you were never a bother.

° Jisung knew about your insecurities, so he wanted to show you his feelings in a very a romantic way. He just needed to plan it out, and buy the decorations, and make sure that you actually felt the same way so he didn't waste all of his money on this confession.

- What happened -

"Jisung! I'm here!" You called, placing your coat on his door hanger as you heard him rush into the living room.

"Just wait one second, I have to get some stuff ready." Jisung huffed, his eyes beaming with excitement.

"Why'd you invite me over if you weren't ready." You teased, sitting yourself on the edge of the couch

"Because I forgot how close you lived." Jisung reasoned, rushing back towards the bedroom to finish whatever he was so excited about.

° You heard a loud crash come from his bedroom, so your instincts kicked in and you rushed into the room. When you opened the door you Jisung on the floor rubbing head with a ladder laid flat next to him, but surrounding the man you've caught feelings for were banners that had 'I like you' written all over them.

° There was a small cheesecake on his table that was decorated in cake crumbs to form a heart on top of it. Your heart practically combusted by how cute everything was, this is all you've ever wanted when it came to a love life. Sweet cheesy antics that are sappy but make you tear up.

"Jisung... I don't know what to say." You whispered, very close to crying by how sweet he was.

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, I just wanted to let you know that I'd love to be your boyfriend." He murmured, gently swiping away your tears with his thumb.

° You originally liked Jisung before you started dating your ex, but you thought you didn't have a chance with him so you settled with your ex. You now deeply regret your decision to settle, since Jisung has the same feelings for you and had had them all along.

"I'm sorry for settling with my ex, I always liked you more. I just thought I never had a chance with you, I wish we could've dated earlier. Sim so sorry." You replied, smiling as he passed you a small teddy bear that he hid behind his back.

"It wasn't your fault y/n, all we can do now is just look forward to the future." Jisung reassured, pressing a small kiss to the tip of your nose.

° You appreciated how gentle and sweet Jisung was, but a kiss on the nose just wouldn't do for everything he has done for you. So you gently tipped his head down, before placing a cautious but warm kiss to his lips. Your heart doing flips when he pulled you closer by the waist.

Felix

° People suck, but luckily Felix didn't. Felix was loved by everyone, many jokes being tossed around that he collects people like Pokémon cards. But they weren't far from the truth, Felix was a really sweet and adorable guy that you had a huge crush on... Too bad you've barely talked to him.

° You worked as a barista at a small but popular boba tea shop, Felix often ordered for his friends and was a usual customer. He recognized you, but neither of you really got the chance to sit down and talk even though he's been going to the boba shop for three years now.

° Felix loved when you were the one dealing with his orders, you always got it perfectly and added a small heart on the cup when you were finished. It was also a bonus that he found you drop dead gorgeous and wished that you both weren't so busy so he could ask you out.

° You often talked to your coworker Chenle about your crush on Felix, he'd tease you and sometimes make you take his order if it was Felix or Felix's friends who went through him. Chenle once even bluntly asked for Felix's number so he could give it to you, Felix agreed anyways.

° The café was usually so sweet and gentle to work on, but recently a new employee was hired and she acted as if she was the God of anything café related. Often belittling you, spilling drinks on you, and making you her personal servant. It got so bad that you had to miss a day so you could relax.

° It was terrible weather outside it was a blizzard and freezing cold, yet she asked you to go take out the trash for her. You declined at first, not wanting to freeze out there. But then she threatened you, saying she'd tell the boss that you skip time to chat with Felix.

- What happened -

° You walked outside and threw the trash bag into the bin, but when you walked back to open the back door. You realized that she locked you out, you could barely see because of the snow so you started banging on the door. But no one answered, that is until two car lights shined against your figure.

"Get in!" A familiar voice shouted, their face unrecognizable due to the storm.

"Who are you!?" You asked, watching as they rushed towards you.

"It's me, Felix." He explained, placing his jacket over your bare shoulders as he guided you to his car.

° You both snuggled into the back seat, shutting the doors tight as you basked in the slightly heated car. You didn't realize how badly you were shivering until you attempted to speak, your teeth chattering against each other rather loudly as you opened your mouth.

"Look at me for a second, please." Felix begged, gently tilting your head as he placed his warm hands over your cheeks.

"Feeling any better now?" He asked, his tone warm and soothing as his eyes gazed into yours gently.

"Yes, thank you. I probably would've become a popsicle if it weren't for you." You joked, your heart doing flips when he sent you a cheeky grin.

° Felix watched as your employee started screaming your name, calling you by harsh words instead of your actual name. When you didn't respond she shut the door harshly, making the warm feeling in your stomach turn back into a nervous ache.

"She shouldn't talk to you like that, especially when you are so kind and gorgeous. Plus your the best employee in the café. " Felix murmured, watching your cheeks turn a natural red tone.

° You smiled shyly at his compliments, unconsciously snuggling closer to his warm body. Felix was so comforting to be around, you felt all of your worries vanish when he began to stroke up and down your arm. A small chuckle vibrating his chest as you laid against it.

"After the storm passes, would you be willing to go get dinner with me tonight?" He asked, grinning bashfully when you nodded almost instantly.

Seungmin

° You and Seungmin used to be friends, but during grade nine when the school president elections started you both ran for the position and the feud only started from there. Soon even the smallest things about each other would piss you both off, some said it was tension however.

° After high school you never got in touch with Seungmin, hoping to forget his fucking adorable face and joyful laugh which you despised. You'd rather die than admit you found Seungmin cute and that it helps you hold even more grudges against him... You won't let him win.

°In grade ten you attempted to apologize to Seungmin, but that's when you overheard him talk about how annoying and ugly you were. He said he'd puke if anyone ever shipped him with you, and this broke your heart in more ways than one. But you concealed the heartbreak with rage.

° You tried to forget about him when you started university, you moved to a different city and even took quite a few courses. But some how, you noticed Kim Seungmin sitting a row in front of you as he took out his notebooks. You wanted to pounce on him and scream in face so bad.

° You couldn't spend a single day without this one person ruining it for you, and you were reaching your last straw with him. You took out your pencil and harshly wrote the date down on your notebook, nearly breaking you pencil when you heard him scoff when he finally saw you.

° The class went alright, you simply annoyed your arch nemesis in front of you. But the professor declared that there was a group project coming up, and he already chose the groups. And by your terrible luck, you got paired with Kim Seungmin... Ofcourse you did.

- What happened -

"I'm here, and I brought notes." Seungmin sighed, letting himself into your dorm room.

"You know there is a thing called knocking right?" You countered, watching him roll his eyes at your voice.

° Seungmin looked attractive as all hell, he wore a simple outfit with a white button up and black jeans. But the way he rolled up his sleeves when he wrote down different notes, or the way his hair was styled slightly so his hair wasn't covering his cute puppy dog eyes.

"Can you quit staring and do some work." Seungmin hissed, throwing you a pen as your ears turned bright red.

"Can you be nice to me for once?" You asked, your tone coming out much meeker than you planned.

° You listened as Seungmin stopped writing, he shifted in his seat until his thigh was pressed against yours. You were suppose to hate Seungmin, but by how close you were to him you couldn't help but feel a warm rush of heat flush your face a cute shade of red.

"Says the one who hated me first." Seungmin pointed out, confusing you since he was the one who started it in grade nine.

"At least I never called you ugly or annoying, or completely embarrassed you in front of my friends or made you feel like a worthless piece of trash throughout high school." You retorted, feeling small tears gloss your eyes out of frustration.

° You sighed telling him that he should go since it wasn't going to work out, but he stayed still. You assumed he was just being petty, but when you looked at him you noticed he looked genuinely concerned about you. He grasped your hand in his, pulling you next to him.

° Seungmin stroked his thumb over your knuckles as a single tear streamed down your cheeks. All of the built of frustration overflowing and becoming too much to handle, and seeing you like this actually shattered his heart quite a bit. He never realized that you never actually hated him.

"What are you doing?" You asked, attempting to pull your hand away so you could wipe your tears.

"Can I make it up to you? I never knew that you felt this way and I feel like a terrible person, so please met me make it up to you over breakfast tomorrow?" Seungmin begged, his tone had no signs of harshness in it as you cautiously agreed to his offer.

Jeongin

° Your best friend was jealous of you constantly, always stealing anything you wanted or achieved even if they failed at doing so. You had too big of a heart to realize their toxic behaviour, and just assumed that's their personality and that they meant no harm by being themselves.

° You told them you had a crush on the new student in your course Jeongin, and instead of encouraging you to ask him out. They told you You didn't have a chance, and would constantly embarrass you in front of him so they could look better. That's when you realized they were toxic.

° You couldn't exactly ignore them either because they shared a dorm with you and threatened you constantly, saying you'd regret unfriending them and that they'd turn everyone against you. And you believed them, remembering how many friends they have.

° They hosted a party at a local sorority, almost all of the campus arriving to it and having a great time. Everyone seemed to having fun, except for you...who sat by the pool with your feet tipped in as you waited for this personal hell to be over. You wanted to go home, but no one would drive you.

° You noticed someone sit next to you on the edge of the pool, when you turned to see who it was you were a bit surprised to see it was Jeongin. The same guy who your friend said they'd sleep with at the party, yet here he was sitting next to you looking very bored.

° Jeongin gently smiled at you, telling you that the party was terrible. You laughed gently, wondering how drunk some of the students were since some were passed out cold. You talked to him a few times, but everytime you two chatted it made your heart do a frenzy.

- What happened -

"Do want me to drive you home, I haven't had anything to drink." He suggested, helping you up as you both walked towards his car.

"I'd actually love that, I wanted to go home since I arrived here." You sighed, feeling a blush creep up your cheeks when you heard him laugh.

° The drive home was quite long, since the sorority wasn't even on your campus. But you didn't mind the drive being lengthy since you got to chat with your crush for quite some time, you didn't realize how long you'd be with him until one of his tires went flat on the highway.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit." Jeongin sighed, quickly calling a cab service to come pick you both up along with a tow truck to bring his car home.

"Guess we're stuck here for a bit then." You sighed, watching him smile in disbelief of how odd your nights have turned.

° You both could only talk with one another, the sounds of crickets in the grass cresting a calming night atmosphere. Topics flew by, when he asked you about your friend. His tone hinting that he was surprised your friends with them, as if he doesn't actually like them.

"Your friend seems a bit harsh, I've seen the way they treat you." Jeongin admitted, laying his jacket across your shoulders.

"I've been wanting to leave them, I just don't know how. I've never ended a friendship." You explain, surprised that he doesn't like them... Everyone seems to like your friend.

° You felt Jeongin lean over slightly, so you turned to look at him. You knew that your friend has been hitting on Jeongin for months now just because you like him, it felt nice to know that he seemed to prefer you instead. It made your brain go fuzzy in the best way possible.

"Can I tell you why I'm surprised your friends with them?" He asked, smiling softly when you nodded for him to continue.

"Because you're the cutest, happiest, and smartest student on campus. And they don't deserve you." He explained, slipping his phone number into your hand once the cab arrived.

#stray kids #kpop #skz scenarios #stray kids reactions #changbin #han jisung #hyunjin #jeongin #bang chan #lee know #Seungmin #Lee felix #skz reactions #skz requests #skz rp #skz fluff #skz smut #skz headcanons #skz x you #skz x gn reader #skz x y/n

[blu-joons]

Meeting Their Long Distance Partner For The First Time ~ Stray Kids Reaction

Bang Chan:

You failed to hide the laugh that escaped from you as you walked out of the arrivals lounge noticing Chan stood waiting for you with a banner held in his hands, your name scribbled across it.

Your pace picked up as you ran towards him, feeling his arms wrap around your waist. “Your finally here,” he cheered, twirling you around as your case dropped.

Your eyes looked down at his face, “you look so much better in the flesh then you do on camera.”

“I’m glad,” he chuckled, placing you back down on your feet. “You just look incredible, but you always did. But now I can touch you and see you, properly, like a dream.”

“It feels surreal that your actually in front of me.”

With that, the grip around you tightened, “I’m here, in front of you. No screens, or air miles to separate us this time around, we’re finally together, properly.”

“Can you believe it?” You questioned, only for Chan to shake his head back at you.

It was going to take a while for it to all sink in just yet. “I’m too excited about the days we have ahead to even try and believe you’re here just yet.”

“We’re going have the best time and make up for plenty of lost time too.”

Lee Know:

It was only a matter of time before Minho suggested that you headed to the studio and met up with the other members of his group, leaving you terrified as to what would happen with them.

Their eyes were on you as soon as you walked into the studio. “Play nice,” Minho warned as he introduced you, having told them all about you.

Your eyes looked around at each one of them, “Minho has told me all about you guys on our calls.”

“And Minho has constantly talked about you too,” Felix chuckled, the first to properly introduce himself, “we have to beg him to be quiet most days so we can change the subject.”

“I hope he’s only been telling you guys the good stuff.”

Minho nodded instantly as your eyes glanced back to look at him. “There is only good stuff to talk about you anyway, there’s not a bad thing at all.”

“Smooth,” you teased, stepping away from his side, “way to make me look good.”

His head nodded, relieved to see you relaxing around the boys. “By the way, I don’t talk about you that much, they’re just exaggerating right now.”

“Judging by the looks on their faces, I think I know who I believe Minho.”

Changbin:

His eyes had watched you for some time before you eventually tugged at Changbin’s arm, keen to find out what he found so fascinating that stopped him looking at anything that wasn’t you.

His smile widened as he noticed you stood before him. “Part of me feels like I’m dreaming whenever I look at you beside me right now, like it’s not real.”

Your hand pushed his arm gently, “I’ve been here for days, and now you feel like your dreaming?”

“I’ve been dreaming all along secretly,” he admitted with a chuckle, “I guess I’ve just thought through what time like this would be like for so long, and now it’s happening.”

“You’re not dreaming anymore; you can finally wake up.”

His arm moved to snake around your waist, “it still feels too good to be true, even if I don’t have to dream anymore. You are really actually here.”

“I am really actually here, that won’t change, even if you stop staring,” you joked.

His eyes rolled back at you, “I can’t help staring at you, how do you even expect me not to stare at you when I finally have the real you here.”

“I don’t know, but if you don’t stop, my cheeks are going to turn red.”

Hyunjin:

As soon as the text came through from you to let Hyunjin know that you’d gotten the time off, he was finding your contact, ringing you, desperate to hear your voice and celebrate.

You barely had time to respond before he let go of a scream. “I can’t believe your finally coming,” he chuckled, failing to keep it together, “two weeks as well, was your boss really alright with that?”

Your eyes rolled at his excitement, “I’ve not worked all this overtime for nothing, he was fine.”

“I swear I’m dreaming,” he chuckled, grabbing his calendar off of his wall. “I get to spend two whole weeks with you after so long, I think Christmas came early this year.”

“I still need to book my tickets, but other than that, I’m there.”

Hyunjin’s eyes closed, struggling to believe what he was hearing. “Alright, well just let me know when’s best for you and I’ll take as much time off from the studio as I can.”

“Hyunjin, don’t neglect your work for me,” you quickly scolded him.

Although you couldn’t see, his head shook. “Y/N, I’ve waited too long for you to come over for me to waste any of that time at work, when I could be with you.”

“Just make sure you don’t get in trouble; I don’t want them to hate me.”

Han:

A gasp escaped from you as you stepped foot in Jisung’s room, studying all of the items you’d seen so many times before during your calls, only this time, you were seeing them in person.

Jisung watched on as you took in all of the items that somehow seemed so familiar. “Makes it seem real, doesn’t it?” He asked as you took a seat on his bed.

Your head nodded, bouncing gently, “I wonder how many times you’ve sat here and called me?”

“Too many,” he smiled, taking a seat beside you, “I used to sit here once you hung up and wonder whether one day, I might be able to get you here in person.”

“And here I am. Your dreams eventually came true Jisung.”

His arm moved to rest around your shoulders, “this’ll be your bed too for the next few days, as long as that’s something that you’re alright with doing?”

“Of course,” you assured him, “I was kind of hoping you’d offer anyway.”

His eyes widened, unable to hold back his laughter. “There was no way I was going to let you sleep anywhere other than tucked up with me in bed anyway.”

“Good, because there’s no where else that I’d want to be.”

Felix:

A tight grip wrapped around your waist as the two of you looked over Seoul, high up in the mountains. Felix was desperate to make your last evening together special, and it definitely was.

Your eyes looked across to Felix, noticing the frown that was on his face. “If I keep hold of you like this, do I really have to drive you to the airport tomorrow?”

Dejectedly, you nodded, “I’ve got things to get back for, we knew I wasn’t going to stay forever.”

“But I’m not ready to let you go yet,” Felix whined, tightening his grip around you, “I don’t want to let you go and think about having to wait this long to be able to see you again.”

“I promise that we won’t leave it as long next time.”

His shoulders dropped at the sound of your promise, “maybe I can fly out and come and visit you next time if my schedule gives me the time.”

“That would be nice, I could show you around my home,” you suggested to him.

His smile slowly turned back up at your words, “I’d love to see your place in person too, meet your family and your friends, and just have the best trip ever.”

“Hopefully, we won’t have too long to wait until we get to do that too.”

Seungmin:

Your eyes looked around the city in awe of what was before you. Seungmin had told you plenty about soul, but none of it could compare to what you saw before you as you drove.

The feeling of his hand resting against yours brought your eyes across to look at him. “Big, isn’t it? Not quite what your used to back at home?”

Your head nodded instantly, “it’s all so tall and busy, there’s so much life in the city, it’s crazy.”

“So much to explore too,” he chimed, noticing how quickly your eyes lit up at the thought. “I’ve made a list of all my favourite spots that I want to take you too and show off.”

“I’m excited to find out as much as possible about Seoul.”

Seungmin’s hand intertwined tightly in with yours, “I’ll make sure we have the best time together, and that you don’t regret coming over here and visiting.”

“I would never regret that,” you hummed, “it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made.”

The corners of his mouth turned back into their usual smile, “I’m relieved. I just hope that this trip will make our relationship stronger, despite the distance.”

“I’m sure it will, we’ve got too much fun to have to worry.”

I.N:

The moment he saw your plane ticket come into shot, Jeongin felt his eyes begin to water. A light laugh came from him as he took a moment to try and find the words that he was searching for.

You’d talked for weeks about finding the time to visit, and at last, you had it. “That’s amazing,” he finally spoke up after holding himself together.

Instantly, your head nodded in agreement, “I finally get to come and see you in person Jeongin.”

“In person,” he repeated, struggling to believe it himself. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to be able to hear you say those words and have you come and see me in person Y/N.”

“I bet it’s just as long as I’ve been waiting too.”

His hands ran over his face to try and stop his eyes from watering. “Send me across the dates, and I’ll plan out a packed itinerary for us to do together.”

“I bet you’ve secretly had everything planned out for this trip for months,” you challenged.

His head nodded back at you with a wide grin, “I guess I’ve always just been that excited for when you’d finally be able to come over here.”

“Not long now, I’ll send you the dates in a minute, not that you need to plan.”

---

Masterlist

#stray kids #stray kids imagine #stray kids reaction #stray kids scenario #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #bang chan imagine #lee know imagine #changbin imagine #hyunjin imagine #han imagine #felix imagine #seungmin imagine #i.n imagine #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #han #felix #seungmin #i.n #bang chan drabble #bang chan fluff #bang chan one shot #kpop #kpop imagine

[skzsauce01]

Angel Sent From Up Above

Anniversary Request Special

Synopsis: Hyunjin, a new guardian angel, has fallen in love with a human. His human’s girlfriend, to be precise. Angel AU, background college AU and skater AU.

Warning: violence

Word Count: 8.3k

Pairing: fem!reader x guardian angel!Hyunjin; fem!reader x human!Jeongin

“Is she healed now?” Hyunjin asks the moment Jisung flies in. He knows Jisung is probably exhausted from keeping maladies away from you, but he needs the answer now. “Is her flu gone?”

“Yeah.” Jisung’s wings are tinged gray with ruin, but he keeps them on display for all the other guardian angels to see as he walks past them. They are proof that he has been doing his duty. They’ll return to white soon enough anyway. “Your human’s her boyfriend. Why didn’t you try to check through him? He visited a few times even though she told him not to.” Jisung sighs and shakes his head. “What an idiot. He’s going to get sick himself.”

“He hasn't visited recently, so I haven’t been able to check through him. The Archangel’s forbade me going to Earth unless it was something serious. I think he’s worried I'm spending too much time with humans.”

Jisung shakes his head. “I think he’s worried that he’s going to have to Seungmin you.”

“I'm not going to get expelled.”

Jisung shrugs, and ruin falls from his wings like ash. “You better watch out. You checked up on her too much last time she got sick, so he's probably trying to make sure you won't abandon your human. He's banished people for less. Case in point: Seungmin.”

“She's important to Jeongin, so she's important to me."

Jisung sighs. “Sometimes I think you’re more protective of her than I am.”

He says it as a joke, but Hyunjin knows it’s the truth. He cares deeply about you, maybe even more than his own human, but he will never say that last part aloud.

Hyunjin used to believe that becoming a guardian angel was the best thing that ever happened to him. All of his afterlife, he had wanted to be promoted, to be granted the pure white wings and the crown of sun rays. Regular angels had wings and halos but never white wings and golden halos; silver and silver was the “regular” combination.

Watching over a human was considered the highest honor an angel could receive, and everyone clamored to gain the attention of the Archangel. Hyunjin was not immune. He worked as a messenger for years, delivering even the most inane notes between the higher ups. He endured the attacks, verbal and sometimes physical, and kept his mouth shut. Eventually, the Archangel recognized his efforts, and before dawn broke on Earth, Hyunjin was named the new guardian angel of a baby boy, Yang Jeongin.

“You will protect him. You will guide him,” the Archangel said. “He is your responsibility now and yours alone. Do you understand?”

From Heaven, Hyunjin could only look at the wet, wrinkled face of his human. His human. “I understand.”

Then the Archangel flew off, and Hyunjin flew to Earth for the first time to meet the baby. No one noticed him as he phased through the hospital walls nor as his giant wings folded back. Only Jeongin would be able to see his guardian angel.

“Hello there, little one,” he whispered to the swaddled baby. The boy was fast asleep, and Hyunjin gently stroked his face. “I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Hyunjin, your official guardian angel. I’ll always be nearby now, and I’ll always make sure you’re safe. Sometimes you won’t be able to see me, but I’ll always be watching over you. I promise.”

Jeongin stirred awake and stared back at Hyunjin. Two sets of eyes blinked at each other, one full of curiosity and one full of tenderness.

“Go back to sleep,” Hyunjin said. He drew his hand over the baby’s face, and Jeongin’s eyes fluttered shut. “Sweet dreams, little one.”

Guardian angels talked about their humans like parents, bragging about how gifted they were and sharing complaints about what unbelievable thing they did the other day. Hyunjin mostly did the latter. Jeongin was an adventurous child, which was just a nice way of saying that he liked to play with danger. Hyunjin often had to fly in to save him or to redirect the threat somewhere else. The other angels joked that Hyunjin stayed on Earth more than Heaven sometimes. He didn’t mind though. Even with his human’s shortcomings, Hyunjin adored him. He watched from above as Jeongin said his first words, attended his first day of kindergarten, and got into his first fight.

“He’s a troublemaker,” Minho observed.

Minho was a guardian angel as well, but he tended to lurk on the outer edges of the realm as the other angels avoided him for a reason Hyunjin hadn’t figured out yet. Hyunjin liked him well enough and treated him like a mentor, sometimes a friend.

“Hey, you’re not one to talk. Your human started a black market of candy at school.”

Minho shrugged. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.”

Jeongin didn’t end up growing up into a troublemaker, to Hyunjin’s relief. The impulsive streak was still there, but he utilized his judgement more now. There were no car crashes or cases of alcohol poisoning, and when Jeongin asked out girls, it was with daisy bouquets and a suggestion to get lunch. Hyunjin slowly stopped making routine trips to Earth and chose to view Jeongin from the comfort of Heaven. It was there that Hyunjin noticed you.

“I think she’s upset with him,” Jisung abruptly says. “She cried after a video call with him, so if your human starts acting strangely, that’s why.”

The news makes Hyunjin stop mid-step, and he turns to his friend. “She cried? What? What did she cry about?”

“I don’t know. I was too busy trying to lower her temperature. Can you believe that she almost hit—”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“I just got back! There is no ‘earlier!’ Besides, we aren't allowed to interfere in anything that isn't dangerous. Heartbreak, if this is even what this is, is temporary."

“Humans do drastic things for love.” The movies has seen while watching Jeongin have told him that much.

“Which we will attend to when it happens. You’re a new guardian; you’ll understand them better over time. Not everything is life-threatening, fragile as they are.”

Hyunjin turns away from Jisung and glances down at Earth. The clouds part, and all of the brick buildings of the university rush towards his eyes as he focuses on Jeongin. He’s asleep at his desk, his lamp still burning bright above him. How long has it been since the video call? Or perhaps he’s just tired from the events of his day. But he looks so small and vulnerable in his chair. Jeongin isn’t fragile — the amount of situations he has gotten out of covered in bruises and blood is astronomical — but he is mortal.

“But she loves him,” Hyunjin softly says, “and he loves her.”

“Exactly. Humans fight over small things all the time, and this is one of those times.” Jisung places a hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder to placate him. “Trust me.”

“... I trust you.”

“Good. I need to rest, but we can catch up and see what stupid things they do after.”

The moment Jisung flies off to the rest area, Hyunjin goes against the Archangel’s orders and flies to your apartment. When he peers inside your bedroom window, he spots you sitting in bed in the dark, your phone screen illuminating your face. He phases inside and sits at your desk chair, resting his forearms at the top rail. You can’t see him, but he wishes that you could.

You mindlessly scroll through messages, sniffling every few seconds. Whether it’s from your crying or your illness, he doesn’t know. He can’t hand you a tissue or tell you comforting things or hug you like Jeongin can. When you wrap your blanket tighter around your shoulders, he wraps his wings around himself as well.

Suddenly you throw your phone beside you and let out a heavy sigh. “It can’t get any worse than this,” you say to yourself.

Hyunjin waits for you to say more, but you only stare at the ceiling with blank eyes. He can’t compel you to talk; only Jisung can, but he’s not here. So instead, Hyunjin knocks over the glass of water on your bed when you shift into a more comfortable position.

“Of course it can,” you sigh again and blot as much water as you can with your tissues. You pull another one out of the box with more force than necessary and furiously dab your sheets. “First I get sick, then I miss a homework deadline that I can’t make up because my professor lost his heart thirty years ago along with his hair, then my boyfriend breaks up with me for like no reason, apparently I have an exam tomorrow, and now I’ve spilled water all over my bed, so I can’t even sleep. Thank you, universe. I really needed this.”

He immediately regrets his decision.

“Worst freaking week of my life,” you mumble as you throw away the wet tissues. Hyunjin almost reaches out for your arm when you pass by, but he retracts it just in time.

When you climb back into bed, you draw your blanket up to your chin and begin murmuring numbers. They come out calm and even at first, but they become more tense as time passes. Hyunjin half-listens as he scans the contents of your desk. A laptop, a shopping bag, an open notebook with doodles on the margins, an uncapped black pen, and a pack of gum. He presses his forefinger to the point of the pen, drawing a tiny heart by touch. Then he stamps the heart among all your misshapen stars and imaginary flowers. You might just think it’s an ink smear, but he hopes you look at it and smile.  

You hit three hundred and forty-seven before you begin to sound drowsy. Hyunjin stands at the foot of your bed, watching as you finally drift off in the middle of three hundred and ninety-three. Serenity settles across your features.

“I’m sorry for what I did earlier. Good night and sweet dreams,” he whispers. He pats the corner of your bed before flying off into the night.

He needs to see Jeongin.

It was hard not to notice you when you were on a collision course with Jeongin. You were going too fast, and Hyunjin’s wings couldn’t carry him to Earth in milliseconds. With horror, he watched as you sharply turned the building corner on your skateboard and just barely jumped off in time when you saw Jeongin about to make the same turn.

“You okay?” Jeongin asked as he hurried to stop your runaway board.

“I should be asking you that!” you exclaimed as you followed him. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have veered that close to the wall. You’re not hurt or anything, right?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry.”

“Good. I can’t risk getting sued again.” Unsure of how to respond, Jeongin nudged back your board to you. You neatly stopped it mid-roll with your foot. “Thanks, by the way. See you around.”

“Yeah, see you.”

You kicked off, but before you left the area, you turned around and gave him a wave. Jeongin waved back, albeit more shyly than you. After a moment’s hesitation, he yelled out, “Be careful!”

“I’ll try!”

Jeongin laughed and turned the corner, looking at the brick wall with more wistfulness than most people usually did. Before he entered the building, he peeked around the next corner, as if he expected you to come speeding by again. You didn’t.

After that, he noticed you more often, usually swerving around strangers as you cut through campus. Whenever he had the opportunity to say hello, he did so with a smile, and you returned it with a waggle of your fingers before disappearing into the crowd. Once, you nearly crashed into a railing. You laughed it off and gave him another wave along with a funny face. Hyunjin felt something inside him melt. Jeongin must have too since he headed to his next class with the most lovestruck expression Hyunjin had ever seen on him.

It was then that Jeongin began forming a plan.

Two weeks after the first meeting, Jeongin waited in the quad for you to show up. Just as he hoped, you came walking down the steps fifteen minutes later, skateboard tucked underneath your arm. It was supposed to seem like a coincidence, but Hyunjin had followed Jeongin as he scoured nearby skate spots, asking around about you. Yesterday, he had learned where you liked to practice tricks. He got up from his bench, hands hidden behind his back, and approached you with the same moves and confidence he had rehearsed in the bathroom mirror.

“Hey! How have you been?” he called up from the very bottom.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin groaned. Jisung, who Hyunjin had tracked down two days prior to this, also did so.

“You said he was a charmer,” Jisung complained. “Look at him. He can’t even charm dogs with a treat.”

“For your sake, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Just wait though. It’s going to get better.”

Jisung huffed. “It better. She deserves the best.”

Fortunately, you took it all in stride and waved hello at Jeongin. When you were finally beside him, you answered, “I’ve been good, thanks. You’re not here to sue me, right?”

“No! I was actually wondering if you could teach me how to skateboard. If you have time, that is.”

“Really? But I almost killed you that one time. I mean, I’d be happy to, but it’s kind of weird after what happened.”

“I’d rather skateboard than walk, and you seem pretty good at it.”

You shifted your weight to one foot, and Hyunjin chuckled when he saw Jeongin’s eyes wander to your jutted-out hip. Jisung made a noise of disapproval.

“Okay, what is this really about?”

“Skateboarding,” Jeongin said. Then he took a step closer and held out a bundle of daisies towards you. “And lunch, if you want.”

You broke out into a grin. “I am a little hungry right now. L/N Y/N, skateboarding extraordinaire and ramen enthusiast, at your service.”

“Yang Jeongin, also a ramen enthusiast. Nice to officially meet you.”

Jeongin is still sleeping at his desk when Hyunjin arrives. He shifts and exhales when the wind from Hyunjin’s wings create a small breeze but does not wake.

“How could you break up with her?” Hyunjin says. “She’s amazing and wonderful, and you decide that you don't want to be with her? Sometimes I wonder what’s going on in your head.”

Silence.

“If I were human, I would have never done that, but…”

Jeongin shifts again, burying himself deeper into the crumpled hoodie he’s using as a pillow. The table squeaks, and a mechanical pencil rolls off the desk. Hyunjin quietly places the pencil back to its initial place and shuts off the lamp.

“Take care of yourself, and make good choices, okay? I can’t do that for you.”

Instead of flying back to Heaven, he perches on the roof of the building across from Jeongin’s. Jeongin finally wakes up and notices that his light is off. He glances at it confusedly for a few seconds, wondering if he misremembered leaving it on. In the end, he decides it’s not worth the effort and falls into his bed. He didn’t even spare you a thought, a crime in Hyunjin’s eyes.

Then he realizes he may have a bigger problem on his hands.

Jisung.

Jisung is going to be very upset when he finds out about this.

Over the weekend, you brought Jeongin to the quad to learn the basics.

“Put both feet on the board now,” you said as you walked alongside a skateboarding Jeongin. He was borrowing yours to practice, so he treated it with more reverence than a well-used board would need. Even though he was pushing with his back foot, he was going at a snail’s pace.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m going to lose my balance and fall.”

Perhaps it wasn’t reverence after all.

You shook your head. “No, you won’t. You’re not going that fast anyway. You can just step off if you really feel like you are. Give it a shot.”

To his credit, Jeongin lifted his foot a few centimeters off the ground before planting it back. “I’m going to lose control.”

While you did your best to persuade Jeongin to give it another try, Jisung gave Hyunjin a dissatisfied look. “I remember you telling me he was a daredevil. What is happening?”

He didn’t exactly know either. “He’s in front of his crush; give him a break.”

“These two better not end up dating. She deserves so much better than him.”

Hyunjin gave him a dirty look, Jisung gave him a “What? It’s true” type of a shrug.

You step in front of the board. “How about this?” you said. “You stand on the board with both feet, and I’ll pull you along so you can get used to the feeling and be less of a scaredy cat.”

“Okay.”

You took both of his hands and slowly guided him backwards. At the same time, you instructed him to put more weight on one side to change directions. Jeongin was surprisingly stable, and Hyunjin watched proudly as his human suggested that you increase your speed a little.

“See? It’s not bad?” you said. “Keeping balance isn’t that hard, right?”

“Yeah. Also,” he grinned, his meek demeanor completely gone, “we’re holding hands now.”

Your eyes widened as you glanced down at your joined hands, and you let out a delighted gasp. “You sneaky little—” Much to Jeongin’s alarm, you let go and smirked. “If you go past the bench without constantly pushing, I’ll let you hold my hand when you walk me home.”

“Kind of presumptuous of you to assume that I would offer to walk you home,” he teased, resting one foot on the floor. “Or is that what you want me to do?”

“You asked me to lunch with flowers. You were going to.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Then he kicked off, skating past the bench with ease. Still going, he looked over his shoulder and shouted, “Do you want to grab doughnuts before you head home?”

“Watch the lamp!” you yelled as you ran towards him. “Jeongin, stop looking at me and turn around!”

The collision with the lamppost was unavoidable, so Hyunjin simply watched as Jeongin took a flying leap off your board and took a tumble on the concrete. While you fumbled for band aids — Jeongin’s knee was scraped and bloody — Jeongin patted his pockets to check that his phone had not fallen out.

“So doughnuts?” he sheepishly asked.

“Sure. I’ll buy.” You finally found one hidden in the bottom of your backpack along with an alcohol wipe. “Guess you get to hold my hand after all.”

“How are you so prepared?” he asked, nodding to the contents you had unceremoniously dumped out whilst rummaging. “You have tweezers and gauze?”

“My mom made me carry a first-aid kit with me when she found out that I skate to class. It comes in handy.” You ripped open the package. “This might hurt.”

“You can kiss it to feel better.”

You laughed and pressed the alcohol wipe to his knee. “You’re such a flirt, I love it. Does it hurt?”

“Yeah, hurts a lot.”

You opted to kiss the band aid instead, causing Jeongin to pout and Jisung to sigh in relief. When you stuck it onto his skin, Jeongin made a big production of being relieved from pain, which made you laugh and shove him.

“No! She’s in love with him,” Jisung groaned. His wings drooped, and Hyunjin swore his halo actually dimmed when you kept your hands in Jeongin’s after you pulled him up. “Well, Hyunjin, looks like you and I are going to be best friends.”

Hyunjin personally saw no issue with that. Like Jeongin, he had been charmed by your antics and your easygoing nature. Protecting his human’s friends, family, or lovers wasn’t part of Hyunjin’s duty, but he felt compelled to watch over you too.

Because if he were human, he would have fallen in love with you too.

In the midst of his lamenting, Jisung flies down and sits beside him on the roof. His wings are still slightly gray, and Hyunjin strangely begins to feel self-conscious of his pure white ones.

“Didn’t the Archangel forbid you from doing frivolous things?” Jisung says in lieu of a greeting. “I saw you at her apartment earlier.”

“I just wanted to check up on her. Not that I thought you lied,” he hastily adds. “I wanted to see for myself. She’s a little… distraught.”

“She got into a fight with her boyfriend. It’s normal.” When Hyunjin doesn’t reply or even make a sound, he grows concerned. “Is it something else? She’s getting sued, isn’t she? I knew it was going to happen someday. When I find that smug richie-rich, I’m going to—”

“Jeongin broke up with her.”

“What.”

Hyunjin repeats his sentence, trying to block the view of Jeongin’s bedroom with his body. Jisung looks like he’s ready to rain judgement onto him, and while Hyunjin is rather good at his job, he’s not sure if he can hold back an enraged guardian angel. Jisung takes several deep breaths before regaining the little composure he can muster.

“I knew I hated him for a reason. I knew he didn’t deserve her,” he spits out, though the venom in his voice wavers. “Why would he even break up with her? She loved him so much.”

Hyunjin shrugs. “That’s what I want to find out.”

“When you find out, let me know. I’m going to see her now.”

Hyunjin stays on the roof until sunrise. Jeongin sleeps without any trouble, and when he wakes up, he looks fresh-faced, no guilt hanging over his head. Hyunjin feels something inside him cracking apart.

You truly don’t deserve this.

“Do you think they’re going to crash and burn?” Jisung asked as he studied you and Jeongin walking through the park, practically glued to each other’s sides. “I think they’re moving too fast. It’s only been a month.”

Hyunjin really didn’t care about that. As long as you and Jeongin were happy, he was happy. “A month is a pretty long time for them. Mortal lives are short.”

“Exactly. They should be more selective about their life choices.”

Hyunjin only rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to you. You were pointing at the tiny carousel in the middle and tugging at Jeongin’s sleeve. You dragged him over and pushed a coin into the slot for the ride. The lights lit up and a carnival theme played while you struggled to wedge yourself between the saddle of an elephant and the roof of the carousel. Jeongin sat on the edge, beside the tiger, and chuckled at your flailing limbs.

Hyunjin suppressed his own laugh. You were something special. Just last week, the two of you had made it official and started dating. You had done it in the sweetest possible way.

You had taken him to a local skateboarding shop to help him pick out his first board. Once he had chosen one — the ‘one’ being a light blue deck patterned with multicolored doughnuts — the staff at the shop sent him to the back to try it out. Meanwhile, you made the age-old excuse of needing to use the restroom when you were actually getting the flowers you had hidden in the back.

Hyunjin had turned into a pile of fluff when you gave Jeongin the daisy bouquet and asked if he wanted to officially be your boyfriend. You were so earnest. Jeongin playfully pretended to think it over, a feat Hyunjin knew he wouldn’t have been able to do if he were in his position. There were no fireworks or confetti when Jeongin finally said yes, but the staff did clap and cheer. Jisung looked on with contempt. Hyunjin looked on with envy.

“You know,” Jisung abruptly said, snapping Hyunjin back to the present, “when her last boyfriend broke up with her, she had ice cream for dinner for a week.”

“Oh.”

“You see why I’m being wary of him now?”

Hyunjin did, but Jeongin was different. His previous relationships always ended well, and on one occasion, he remained friends with his ex. He sighed and decided that a change of topic was necessary so he wouldn’t have to potentially endure a tirade. “Did you hear about Minho’s human? The bank he worked at got robbed, and he got held at gunpoint.”

That caught the overprotective Jisung’s ear. “What? Is he okay?”

During Hyunjin’s recountment of Minho’s recountment, the carousel ride ended. You squeezed out of your spot, hitting your head on the roof, and Jeongin pulled you in for a forehead kiss. The world grew brighter when you smiled, he realized.

Hyunjin shadows Jeongin around all day, hoping to learn the reason for the breakup. Unfortunately, Jeongin doesn’t say anything. He does show some regret though, as he scrolls through past messages and old pictures. When he heads to classes, he opts to walk instead of skateboarding like usual and avoids the quad whenever possible.

In the evening, while Jeongin is chewing on his salad like a cow to cud, Hyunjin pays you a visit. He finds in the freezer section of the grocery store with three pints of ice cream in your basket. From the looks of it, you’re about to add another three to your haul. Peanut butter pretzel sounds equal parts delicious and confusing.

Hyunjin studies your expression, frowning at the same time you do. Your eyes are ringed with red, your jaw tight, and your eyebrows seem permanently furrowed. When he follows you back home, he half expects you to start crying on the way, but you hold fast and manage to open a pint of the salted caramel flavor before the tears finally come. There’s no wailing, just sniffling and the sound of you furiously wiping at your face with the sleeve of your hoodie. In the midst of it all, you find the strength to reorganize the freezer to make space for the other pints. Something about that makes Hyunjin’s heart drop.

By the time your roommate discovers you in the kitchen, the entire refrigerator has been reorganized and the ice cream finished. You sit in a dark room, your finger hovering above the ‘SEND’ button of a message to Jeongin. Hyunjin can see it if he flies above you: “Can you please just tell me why? You keep saying you did something wrong, but I don’t even know what it is. Please let me decide if it’s worth breaking up over.”

“Rough day?” she gently asks as she flips on the switch.

“Yeah.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Maybe tomorrow. I just wanna process it right now,” you hollowly say. You grab your skateboard — the same black, paint-splattered one you had last year — and unlock the front door. “I’m going out for a ride, but I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

“Stay safe.”

After you leave, Jisung phases through the kitchen walls and hisses at Hyunjin, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Jeongin?”

He nearly forgot about him. Eating dinner isn’t a dangerous task anyway though. Besides, if Jeongin does get physically harmed somehow, Hyunjin will feel an echo of the pain. Hyunjin glances at the door, and Jisung shakes his head.

“I’ll take care of her. Go back to Jeongin, and make sure he’s okay. You can’t keep leaving him all the time.”

“Fine, I’ll go.”

“Good.”

Hyunjin reluctantly goes back to Jeongin, who is still eating his salad. His resolve from last night is clearly gone as evidenced by his melancholy expression as he scrolls through even more photos. The one of you in mid-air makes him clutch his phone.

“Let me get one of you when you’re really high up,” Jeongin suggested. He was comfortable gliding around on a skateboard now, but nowhere comfortable enough to try any tricks. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop you from trying to get him to learn. The “pop shove it” was your favorite, solely for the amount of height you could get.

“Okay.”

As you did over and over again for your enthusiastic boyfriend who was unfortunately not that great of a photographer, Hyunjin observed from a rooftop behind Jeongin. Sometimes you looked like you were flying. He could imagine wings protruding from your back, and if the sun hit you just right, there appeared to be a halo as well.

“I got one!” Jeongin exclaimed as he held up his device to you. “Look.”

Hyunjin couldn’t see for himself, but your mouth dropped into an ‘o’ once you took a first glance. A flustered smile made its way onto your face, and everything about you turned soft.

“This looks amazing,” you said. You sidled up to him and rested your cheek against his shoulder, turning your head towards him. “I love you.”

The words hung in the air for a few seconds as both Hyunjin and Jeongin tried to process them. This was the first time you had ever said them, and it came seemingly out of nowhere. Hyunjin recovered first.

“Say ‘I love you’ back, you moron,” Hyunjin whispered, like Jeongin would be able to hear him from this distance. “‘I love you too.’”

“I wanted to say it first,” Jeongin finally said. “Ugh, I had it all planned out too. We were supposed to get doughnuts after this, and I was going to buy you one of those heart-shaped ones.”

You kissed him on the cheek and intertwined your fingers with his. “We can still do that.”

At the doughnut shop, he said the words second, and you kissed him again, leaving a crystal of glaze on the corner of his mouth. Hyunjin licked his lips as if you had left it on him instead.

“Did you find out?” Jisung asks when Hyunjin leaves Jeongin to check up on you. You’re skating around the city, making sharp swerves and weaving in-between lampposts. Jisung is trailing behind you in the sky, but he slows when he sees Hyunjin approaching.

“No, but—”

“Then go back to him. Hyunjin,” Jisung sighs, “I know you care about her, but she’s not your human. Jeongin’s your responsibility.”

“I know but—”

“Go back. And I’m telling you this not as your friend but as your senior. You’re a guardian angel, and you need to take your responsibilities seriously. I’ll get the Archangel involved if I have to. Do you want to get Seungminned?”

The threat of the Archangel strangely doesn’t scare him anymore, however. In fact, the Archangel being involved may solve many of his current issues.

“I’ll find you again when I find out,” Hyunjin slowly says.

Jisung nods in approval before racing after you again. Hyunjin heads to Heaven, not to keep an eye over his human but to become human.

Ten months into Jeongin’s relationship with you, Hyunjin asked Minho, “Is it possible to give up your divinity?”

Minho gave Hyunjin a curious look. “Is being a guardian angel that taxing for you? You haven’t even experienced a full lifespan yet. I know, twenty year-olds are annoying, but it’s not nearly as bad as forty year-olds and their mid-life crisis.”

“I’m just curious. Or, as a last resort,” he added, hoping that Minho would stop being suspicious if he joked about it. “My human’s been making some dumb choices.”

A lie, but Minho fell for it.

“I told you he was going to be a troublemaker!” he cackled. He sympathetically patted Hyunjin’s back. “If I’m being honest, I thought about it a few times. I always get assigned to the troublemakers. Probably because the higher-ups hate me for not tolerating their BS. They’re always playing favorites. Anyway, the easiest way is to get expelled by the Archangel. It’s happened a few times before.”

“Can’t you just ask him?”

Minho smirked. “You don’t think other angels have tried that? He only expels the ones who don’t want to be. It’s supposed to be a punishment.”

“What’s the hard way then?”

“Same thing minus the Archangel getting involved: your wings getting cut off,” he matter-of-factly answered. “The halo will break once your wings are detached. It’s only been done once, by the way.”

Hyunjin absentmindedly rubbed the area where the bones of his wings met with his shoulder blades. All he needed were two clean cuts across his practically impenetrable back.

“How do you do that?”

“With the Archangel’s sword. Another angel has to cut it though; you can’t do it yourself.”

The Archangel would likely banish him to Hell for even asking about his weapon. If Hyunjin ever did manage to steal the sword away, Jisung would never agree to it. He couldn’t just ask any angel to help him.

“How do you know about all this?” Hyunjin asked.

Minho hesitated, something he rarely did. He quickly recovered, hiding his sudden apprehension with his usual devil-may-care nonchalance. “I can’t give away all of my secrets.”

“We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Friends. The word hung in the air like the sun, and Hyunjin knew that Minho would tell him because underneath all of his bluster was loneliness. Because no one liked Minho, or if they did, they still avoided him anyway.

“Yeah, we are,” Minho answered, smiling for a second before a strange expression crossed over his face, pride mixed with a touch of sadness. “Do you really think the Archangel would have expelled one of his favorite guardian angels that easily?”

“Who are you talking about?”

“Seungmin. He asked me to cut his wings for him.”  

“I need you to cut my wings,” are Hyunjin’s first words to Minho after not speaking to him for days.

To his credit, Minho is only speechless for a few seconds. The dove in his hand pecks at him for more headpats before he recovers. “Well, do you have the sword?”

“No, but I think I can get it. When I do though, would you do it? You’re the only one I trust.”

Minho sighs and tosses the bird out of Heaven, grimacing a bit when he hears it squawk. When he faces Hyunjin, he smiles the same smile he did when he talked about Seungmin. “It’s always me, huh? I’ll do you one better. I’ll steal the sword for you. The Archangel’s been pissing me off anyway.”

For once, Hyunjin’s thoughts are not on you but his friend. He imagined that Minho would be willing, but perhaps he’s too willing. “Are you trying to get expelled as well? We can go together.”

“No, I like being immortal. I hate all of the BS I get put through sometimes, but the Archangel can’t kick me out. He swore an oath to me a long time ago before he got promoted, and it’s pretty much unbreakable. Besides, even Heaven needs a scapegoat.”

That explains why virtually no angels interact with Minho, Hyunjin being the exception. He has never heard of the Archangel being oathsworn, though it seems likely that the Archangel wants to keep that a secret.

“How are you going to get it?” Hyunjin asks. “How did Seungmin even get it? The Archangel always has it with him.”

“Seungmin was one of his favorites,” Minho reminds him. “He had easy access to him, and the Archangel trusted him enough to let him borrow it for ‘a study.’ Don’t worry about me though. Just wait for me on Earth. Somewhere where no one goes. I’ll find you, slice off your wings, and the Archangel won’t even know what happened to you.”

“That’s not possible. He always keeps it on him.”

Minho shrugs, a gleam in his eyes. “I’ve done it before. Why do you think I’m the scapegoat?”

Seungmin. For Minho and now Hyunjin, being Seungminned didn’t mean being expelled for being frivolous anymore; it meant leaving of your own accord.

“What happened to him?” Hyunjin asked. “Why didn’t the Archangel grant his divinity back? Someone should have spotted him on Earth.”

Minho’s wry grin was back. “You think the Archangel wanted everyone to find out the golden boy of Heaven no longer wanted to be an angel? Plenty of angels already saw him roaming Earth. It was easier to let everyone think that Seungmin was banished. So when they saw him on Earth, he was just a fallen angel, nothing important.” He nudged Hyunjin’s arm, and the solemn atmosphere vanished. “A troublemaking human isn’t all that bad. Like I said, the twenties are annoying, but they’re manageable. Is he one of those partying types?”

“He goes out sometimes,” Hyunjin carefully replied. Jeongin liked hanging out with his friends and you — mostly you, now that Hyunjin thought about it — but he wasn’t getting blackout drunk every night. At least, Hyunjin hoped he wasn’t. He usually watched over you if you were ever in the vicinity. “Speaking of which, I should check up on him.”

Minho said his goodbyes, and Hyunjin flew back to Earth once he saw that you weren’t with Jeongin. You were studying at your desk, rolling a pen between your fingers, reading through a document on your laptop. The desk light casted a warm glow on your face. You frowned, and your lower lip swelled outwards.

He wished he were human.

Just as Minho said, Hyunjin waits for him to arrive in a secluded part of the university campus. The building rooftop is devoid of anyone, and the area surrounding it is empty as well. The evening turns into night, then night into the early morning when the sky begins lightening. Still, Minho has not come.

He distantly wonders how Jeongin is faring and his promise to Jisung. When he’s human, he’ll ask Jeongin directly, maybe in disguise of a survey: “Why did you break up with your last partner?” Even to him, it sounds stupid. However, that’s not the real reason why he’s giving up his divinity, so it hardly matters to him. Jisung is resourceful; he’ll find out eventually.

Finally, when the sun peeks over the horizon, Minho descends from Heaven, a familiar silver sword in his hand. He lands beside Hyunjin, a triumphant smile on his face. But his usual humor has been replaced with solemnity.

“You’re sure about this?” he asks as he rests the blade on the top of Hyunjin’s wings.

He has never felt so sure of anything in his life. “Yes.”

“It’s going to hurt.”

“Then make it quick.”

Searing pain shoots through his body as the sword pierces through the thin skin and into the bone. The process is not as nearly as seamless as Hyunjin hoped it would be, and Minho breathes heavily as he pushes the blade down. Bones snap, feathers drift to the floor, and blood trickles down his back. The pain only grows greater near the end, but Hyunjin grits his teeth and keeps quiet. Dawn breaks when his wings finally fall to the floor, no longer white but splattered with red. Soon they fade into dust, and the remnants scatter into the wind. His golden halo shatters into sunlight. The world dulls as the last of his powers disappear, but everything feels much better than when he was an angel.

“Thank you,” he whispers to Minho, who he cannot even look at anymore. His eyes would be burned.

“You’re fallen, not quite mortal and not quite divine. You won’t be affected by all of an angel’s power.”

When Hyunjin cautiously glances at him, Minho waves the bloody sword at him. “See?”

“Yeah.” He wanted humanity, but this is good enough for him. He just needs you to be able to see him, hear him, touch him.

“I need to go back before Heaven becomes Hell, but find Seungmin if you can. He can help you figure things out. Last I heard, he’s living somewhere in the mountains.”

“Thank you,” he repeats. “Minho, I can’t even put it into words about how much this means to me. Thank you for everything you’ve done.”

Minho pats his shoulder before stripping off his clean shirt. “Clean yourself before you leave. No one wants to witness a walking crime scene this early in the morning.”

When he flies back to Heaven, the last thing Hyunjin sees are his wings, still pure white.

“Hey,” you said as you laced your fingers with Jeongin’s. He had just finished class, and you had waited for him outside the building. Hyunjin had sat on the other end of the bench, savoring the proximity. That was the closest he would ever get to you. “Are you busy tonight? The skate shop just announced — literally an hour ago, those jerks — that they were doing a midnight drop, and I kind of want a new deck.”

“Ugh, I’ve been meaning to buy new trucks, but I have to meet up with my group tonight. Send me pictures though.”

Disappointment only momentarily flooded through Hyunjin. If it was anything like the last two meetups, it would be at the library, and the library was a safe place. Jeongin would be fine there. Hyunjin would be free to shadow you as you went to the skate shop.

“I can get it for you,” you offered.

He shook his head. “It’s fine. Maybe I’ll just wait for a sale.”

“Don’t be surprised if I do get you new trucks,” you warned. You let go of his hand and held his arm. “I still owe you for last month’s dinner.”

Jeongin shook his head again, a smile making its way onto his face. “You don’t owe me anything but a kiss.”

“Flirt,” you laughed as you pressed your lips to his cheek. “Never change, Yang Jeongin.”

That night at the skate shop, Hyunjin hovered above you as you stood in line, chatting with others. There were no unscrupulous characters around, but he stayed with you, only going back to Jeongin when Jisung insisted. However, by then, Hyunjin had already seen you eyeing the shiny teal trucks through the window. Hyunjin knew nothing about skateboards even after all those months, but you seemed pleased by them.

“You’re only getting trucks for sure?” your brand new acquaintance asked. “This is, like, the biggest drop they’ve ever done.”

You shrugged. “I’m kind of on the fence about the decks I saw on the email. I don’t know. Maybe wheels too?”

Meanwhile, Jisung hissed, “Hyunjin, go before something happens. What if a fight breaks out?”

Hyunjin sincerely doubted that one would happen at the library. He lingered around, taking his time unfolding his wings and stretching them.

“Your boyfriend’s lucky,” your acquaintance sighed.

“Nah, I’m the lucky one.”

Daisies, that’s what he needs right now. Choosing the rooftop of a building was not a smart decision, but the access door is thankfully unlocked, and Hyunjin races down all of the emergency stairs. However, with no form of currency on him, Hyunjin heads to the quad, hoping that he can pull up some dandelions for you. You need to be supported, and bright yellow flowers are just the thing.

What he doesn’t expect though, is to find you doing pop shove its at your usual spot. It’s so early in the day; did you even go back to your apartment to sleep?

“Good morning,” he calls as he walks closer. He waves at you, and you can see him! You tentatively wave back and give him a halfhearted smile. “How are you today? You look beautiful.”

“Thanks, and I’m fine,” you politely reply as you take a step back away from him. “What about you?”

Hyunjin curses in his head and takes another step towards you. “I’m good. Really good, actually. I was wondering if you could teach me how to skateboard. I’m new here, and skateboarding seems like an efficient way to get around.”

You flinch at his words, and he desperately wants to take them back. How did Jeongin do it? Why do his statements come out so stiff? “You seem pretty good at it.”

“Are you not cold?” you blurt out. Hyunjin curses again as he realizes that he’s shirtless. His old one was stained, and Minho’s was as well as the result of his cleanup. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. “You know, I have to get going, but it was nice meeting you.”

“Hyunjin. My name’s Hyunjin.”

“Nice meeting you, Hyunjin.”

You grab your board and immediately head off to the direction of your apartment. Hyunjin is tempted to follow, but he stays where he is. A bad first impression isn’t the end of the world. The only thing holding him back is his lack of a shirt.

He wanders through the quad, scanning the grass for some flowers. Most of them are the white, fluffy dandelions, but he needs the bright yellow version. However, he takes the white ones anyway in case he can’t find any. The wind scatters the seeds, and he—  

“Hyunjin, I told you not to come back.”

Jisung.

Hyunjin turns around, dropping his bouquet onto the ground. To his horror, not only is Jisung present but also the Archangel. His sword is strapped to his side like usual, not a blood splatter tainting it. Minho did an excellent job of cleaning up the crime scene.

“Jisung, Archangel,” Hyunjin nervously greets. The Archangel frightens him now. “How can I help you?”

“Jisung, why did you bring me here?” the Archangel asks. “I have other things to attend to.”

“He’s abandoned his human too many times, and I don’t think he’s fit to be a guardian angel anymore.”

The Archangel grasps the hilt of his sword and studies Hyunjin, up and down, back and forth. He circles him, and Hyunjin can almost feel his mortality-divinity shining through his body. Jisung hasn’t noticed yet, but there is no doubt the Archangel hasn’t.

“Normally,” the Archangel begins, “the punishment for not fulfilling your duties as a guardian angel is being expelled from Heaven. But you have already fallen.”

“What?” comes Jisung’s shocked voice.

“It was a mistake,” Hyunjin tries. Minho’s words ring in his ear: He only expels the ones who don’t want to be. “I thought I wanted humanity, but I’ve realized that being a guardian angel is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Please. Grant me my divinity back. I will never abandon my human again. I will swear an oath if I have to.”

The Archangel smiles with no teeth, and a chill runs down Hyunjin’s spine. “I’m in a forgiving mood today, so I will do just as you ask. Your divinity will be granted back, but you will no longer be a guardian angel. I’m stripping you of those powers and those duties. You will be replaced immediately. It was my mistake for tasking you with such a large responsibility when you weren’t ready yet.”

With just a snap of the Archangel’s fingers, Hyunjin’s senses sharpen, and the world comes hurtling at him. Nothing is dull anymore, but everything feels so dark and wrong. You will never be able to see him, hear him, or talk to him again. And he will never be able to either. Power surges inside of him, and new wings burst through his shoulder blades, fanning out once they reappear. A silver halo hangs over his head. There is no physical pain into becoming immortal again, yet he wishes there was something. Everything he and Minho did was erased with ease.

Hyunjin swallows the lump in his throat. “Thank you,” he chokes out.

“You’re very welcome. Come along now. Only guardian angels are allowed to be on Earth.”

Hyunjin follows the Archangel back to Heaven while Jisung goes after you. The Archangel loudly deliberates on who he should be replaced with, and Hyunjin knows that his request was not granted with kindness. The Archangel informs that he will be a messenger again. Hyunjin barely hears him as he takes one last look at Earth. Jeongin is there. Jisung is there. You are there.

Hyunjin avoids Minho’s eyes as he flies inside the realm behind the Archangel and hides among the rest of the regular angels until he is called to send a message. The higher-ups recognize him, make snide remarks about his demotion, and make pitiful faces at him. He barely registers them. There is a hollowness in him, and no matter how many memories he recalls, it isn’t enough to fill the void.

A few weeks later, Jisung approaches him, but even he stays a healthy distance away. “Hyunjin.” The disdain is clear.

“Jisung.”

“You knew about the reason all along, didn’t you? You were there when it happened.”

“When what happened?”

Realization dawns upon Jisung, and he shakes his head in disgust. “I should have known. You weren’t with him that night because you left him like you always did! You could have done something. Make him fall off his chair or something. Make the girl lose her balance. Instead, both of our humans suffered because you weren’t there.”

“What happened?”

“A girl from his group project randomly kissed him, and he thought he had been leading her on and cheating on his own girlfriend, so he broke up with her because he thought that would be the right thing to do instead of just telling her what actually happened. They’re back together now because he finally got the nerve to give her closure. It took nearly a month. They were miserable for a month. All because of you.”

It stings. “They’re okay now, right?”

“They’re fine, no thanks to you.” Just when Hyunjin thinks he’s going to leave, he takes a step forward, lips curled into sneer. “You know, angels and humans aren’t allowed to be with each other. It’s been forbidden for millenia.”

“I know,” he whispers. “But I loved her, and I had to try.”

“She would have never chosen you anyway.”

He never had a chance, did he?

~ ad.gray

Yes, you did! I remembered it and wondered if you were going to come back! Hope you enjoyed this! <3

#stray kids #skz #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #stray kids angst #skz angst #hyunjin angst #stray kids imagines #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids scenarios #skz imagines #skz fanfic #skz scenarios #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin scenarios #hyunjin x reader #guardian angel au #anniversary special #20210816

[hyunjinhour]

Stray Kids ships.

I’ve been a stay for around a year now and I thought let me talk about the skz ships I have been screaming abt.

1. Hyunchan when I first noticed them it was during one of their online concerts and I was like ohh hold a minute. Pre-red lights here, I would say Hyunchan are not overly loud so you might not notice them from the go ahead. I did notice that the way they act around each other is different from how they act around anyone else. They also do this thing where they put their hands in each others chests lol and they do that a lot. 

There was a comment that said “Hyunchan is secretly a married couple but they are too shy to show their relationship.” This sums Hyunchan up perfectly.

Also Red lights, gosh when they were talking abt a sexy rnb song I didn’t think we would be attacked like that. Oof too hot.

Hyunchan are such a Hot pair. Also, it’s the funniest thing when Hyunjin flirts with Chan and Chan gets soooo shy.

2. Seungbin - This ship has just attacked me recently. They are soooo loud but they are so underrated. With Seungbin what I have noticed is that Seungmin goes to Changbin to give him backhugs (like a lot) or like when he was resting his head Changbin’s shoulder and it feels like Changbin is Seungmin’s comfort space. It’s really cute.

And also Changbin is wildin, especially with Seungmin (My Changlix heart cries lol) (Like the last talker Seungmin was going to give Changbin a high five and Changbin went in for a kiss lol Wildin. Need I mention the two dance practices where Changbin was on top of Seungmin and I was like shocked the first time I saw those moments and then I proceeded to rewatch them 10 more times.

3. Hyunin are so cute. Hyunjin is still ever so whipped with Jeongin and it’s just so cute. They are so comfortable with each other. It’s cute to see.

4. Minjeong - This is a contribution of this video and reading a fic that had Minjeong and then realising that Lee know has a soft spot for I.N and I just love how Minho teases Jeongin. It’s so freakin cute.

5. Chanmin are soo loud especially when you watch the skz talkers. I think Chan is very comfortable with Seungmin and he is always hugging him and back hugging him. It is so cute. 

6. Hyunsung are the ultimate enemies to lovers like to the story they told us back in the day to them now they seem really really close and it’s so cute.

7. Minsung - They are married, couple goals. They are just too cute. Lee Know is really touchy with everyone including Han. The thing that gives Minsung away the most is how Han reacts and acts when around Leeknow. Like they give themselves away too much. We luv it.

8. Hyunlix - I feel like Felix has such a soft spot for Hyunjin or a little crush and I feel like this time he is guarding himself but he slips up sometimes and we see it. I am torn because I feel like Felix still likes Changbin but he has more feelings for Hyunjin now. 

The first skz ships post I made here. 

#hyunchan #seungbin #hyunlix #minsung #hyunin #minjeong #seungchan #chanmin #hyunsung #hyunjin #bangchan #jeongin #leeknow #han #felix #changbin #seungmin #stray kids