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#i'm bad at explanation but i hope you maybe understand
ghostedcas · 8 months
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imagine like simon goes into some sort of surgery and has to be put under anesthesia, and when he gets out hes like still high asf on it 💀 and hes being a lil silly goose
okay this is such a cute idea omg, this is 100% based off that tiktok audio where it's like "my wife wouldn't like you touching me like that" "i AM your wife."
thank you so much for the request nonnie, a forehead kiss for you MWAH MWAH
simon 'ghost' riley x reader
wc: 563
warnings: none really, lots and lots of that good ol fluff, mentions of surgery, goofy simon, maybe a little ooc simon (he's high so it's fine)
a/n: i hope this is okay, i'm feeling a bit rusty with my writing but i've finally got back some motivation and energy to do so after the past two months of low energy and bad mental health. if you guys want to know a bit more about it and my mental health (i don't see why anyone would but lmao) let me know, i don't mind making a post about it if you guys want an explanation of some sort or whatever. anywho, sorry this is so short but i hope you still like it!! <3
a/n 2.0: i recently applied for a part time job at a bookstore so y'all pray for me that i get this job because i want it so bad. i am just gonna decide that i WILL get this job, because why wouldn't i?
simon had been out of surgery for just over an hour now, being a soldier you 'd think perhaps he was going under surgery for some kind of wound he had inflicted upon him on the battlefield but no, he was just getting his tonsils removed after a bad bout of tonsillitis ended up with him developing really bad tonsil stones.
so here you were, waiting by his bedside for him to wake up. the doctor and nurses reminded you just as he had gotten out that he may still be a little, well loopy, off of the meds depending on how quickly he woke up. you waited in a chair at his bedside, reading a book when you heard the blankets of the bed rustling just a little.
looking up from your book you see simon starting to wake up and you reach out to grasp his hand, only for him to rip it away from you when his eyes were fully opened.
"uh, si? you okay, hon?" you ask gently, maybe he just wasn't feeling too well after waking up, or perhaps he wasn't wanting physical touch, that happened quite often and you always respected that space he may want when he wanted it.
"don't call me that." simon said, voice hoarse and scratchy from the surgery, he sounded a little angry.
"what?" you questioned, this wasn't like simon, you couldn't understand why he wouldn't want you speaking like this to him.
"i'm taken."
"i know." you replied with a short laugh.
"you should be touching me like that then."
it hit you then, he was woozy from the meds and didn't recognize you. the realization made you laugh a little more. you decided to have a bit of fun with this high version of your boyfriend.
"sorry about that simon. wanna tell me about your partner?"
"oh, (name)? they're amazing, you know they're so pretty. and they're funny too. they always know how to make me feel better, i miss them." simon replies, ranting and raving on and on to you about his partner, about you.
"you love them a lot, don't you?" you ask him with a smile, it felt so nice to hear all these lovely things about yourself, your boyfriend clearly unfiltered by the effects of the anesthesia he was under.
sure he definitely said sweet things to your face, but something about hearing it when he was basically high as shit made your heart pound a little more.
"i love them with my whole heart." simon replies, a goofy little smile on his face.
you can't help but reach out to gently caress his face at those words, body filling up with some much adoration for the soldier in front of you.
"hey! what did i say about touching me. i have a partner!" simon scolds, trying to dodge your touch.
"simon, love... i am your partner. it's me, (name)." you reply with a laugh.
simon takes a good long look at you when you tell him this, he stares at you, looks you up and down before letting out a soft and quiet "oh."
you begin to hear the beeping of his heart rate monitor speed up, his cheeks turning slightly pink as he stares up at you.
you couldn't help but laugh a little more at this. what a sweet idiot. your sweet idiot.
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golden-cherry · 2 months
Text
deal - cl16 (25/?)
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader
Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.
Chapter Summary: Having lunch with friends always leads to sharing information. And girl, those friends don't hold back.
Warnings: 18+ (mentions of smut), fluff, Kika is the bestest friend on this planet, mentions of Carlos and his girlfriend (yes, I consider this a trigger)
Word Count: 3.3k
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A/N: I just reached 2.6k followers and wow!! thank you so much!!! I love you! and this one is for you!!! feedback is appreciated.
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Although it's only a few days until Christmas, the sun is shining so brightly that it's pleasantly warm as you and Kika leave the furniture store. As planned - but still with an uneasy feeling - you have left the almost overflowing shopping cart in front of the checkouts and while Charles pays for your "early Christmas present", you and your friend walk to the restaurant.
"I hope all this stuff fits in the car." Kika curls her mouth into a grin. "The mirror I wrote on the note - you know, the one they have to get from storage - is pretty big."
"I'd like to have your guts," you answer her. "Just picking out a huge mirror without knowing exactly whether it will fit anywhere in our apartment."
Kika grins and points to her brown eyes. "Eye measurement, baby. Those marbles are that big for a reason."
You have to stifle a laugh. "If you say so."
While the Portuguese woman plans where in your room she will place which decoration, your thoughts drift off. 
It bothers you a little that Charles wants to spend so much money on you. And for no good reason. "I want you to feel comfortable" was his explanation, which is of course very courteous and loving of him. But you could have bought the things with your own money. At least a small part of it. 
Would he expect a similarly expensive gift for Christmas now? If so, what could you get him? What do you give someone who already has everything? 
"Are you mad at me?" Kika interrupts your flow of thoughts and grabs your elbow. 
Confused, you turn to her. "What?"
"I - I don't know." When she stops, you're forced to stop too. "I didn't tell you that Charles is a famous Formula 1 driver. You - you confided in me about Raphael and I kept you in the dark about your roommate." 
You exhale. "Kika..."
"I wasn't a good friend and I'm sorry about that. Charles had asked us all not to tell because he wanted to protect you and enjoy the time with you when he was just Charles to you. Even if it wasn't fair to you. I can understand if you're angry with me and-"
"I'm not angry with you," you interrupt her and smile at her. "You're Charles' friend first and foremost and I can't blame him or you for keeping his secret. It doesn't affect our friendship in the slightest."
"Promise?" Her tone sounds a little more pleased than it did a few moments ago. 
You nod. "I promise."
She hooks back into you. "Thank goodness for that. I felt super bad because I couldn't tell you. But it wasn't my secret and it wasn't my place to tell you. And I'm really relieved that you see it the same way." She rests her head on your shoulder as you continue walking. 
"So you're a model, huh?" you ask her. 
She nods. "Yes. Well, I put a lot of effort into it and it's very tiring at times." Kika shrugs her shoulders. "But because of that - and Pierre, of course - I get to travel a lot and see great places. And I really appreciate that." She looks at you. "Now that you're unemployed -" You give her a dirty look. "Maybe you'd like to take my pictures sometime. And then I can post it on my Instagram and maybe other models will want to book you."
"You haven't seen any of my pictures yet," you reply with a laugh as she grabs your hand and jumps up and down. "Of course we can. We can try it out if you like."
Your friend looks around briefly before letting go of you and moving away from you. "How about now? I know you don't have your camera with you, but you can use my phone. The photos won't be as focused as with a real camera, but it should be enough to get you started." 
She hands you her cell phone before standing opposite you against the wall of the house. You watch her uncertainly as she fixes her hair. "Are you sure about this? What if the boys are already waiting for us?"
"Let them." She pulls her black jeans up a little so that they sit loosely on her hips. "It won't take long. And I trust you. So here we go."
While Kika turns, repositions herself and smiles at the camera, you take as many pictures as you can. In between, you adjust her purple cardigan so that it sits in the middle of her narrow shoulders, tell her how her feet should be positioned to emphasize the curves of her body and even tousle her hair once so that a few strands fall loosely into her forehead. 
When you look at the pictures after ten minutes and favor three of them, she looks curiously over your shoulder. "They look great. Really outfit of the day vibe." You hand the phone back to her. "I like this one. And this one. You've captured my butt well," she grins and puts the phone in her black handbag before hooking it back up to you. "And now let's go. I'm really hungry and I don't want to keep your tiramisu from you."
Oh well. 
Charles' words - "Then lie down on the bed, mon amour. I'd like to see how you look on it" - haunt your mind and the images that appear in your head don't make the situation any easier.  
For example, Charles kneeling between your legs and his gaze wandering hungrily over your body. How his hands rest on your thighs to open them a little wider so that he can lie comfortably on his stomach between them. How he slides his fingers under the hem of your panties to slowly pull them off your legs. And the way his mouth moves up from the soft skin of your thighs to where you want it to be. Need it to be. The way he opens his mouth and licks his tongue over his lips before closing the distance between you and - 
"Watch out. You start drooling." When you give Kika a confused look, she pokes you in the side. "I didn't know you could daydream about tiramisu."
"I wasn't even thinking about tiramisu," you defend yourself, but Kika doesn't believe a word you say. 
"Of course not." You could even hear her grin if you weren't looking at her. She lifts her hand and puts it to your cheek, playfully wiping the non-existent spit from the corner of your mouth. "I hate to repeat myself, but you're really not very good at lying."
You chew the inside of your cheek and look down at your sneakers. "Is it that obvious?"
"That you're totally into tiramisu? Hardly," she replies wryly, but puts her arm around your shoulder. "Let's be honest. A trained eye like mine can spot something like that, but if you're worried about the boys seeing it - you really don't need to worry. They wouldn't even recognize a dessert if you put it right in front of them."
"I just don't know what to do," you confess to her. 
Kika purses her lips. "Would you be ready for tiramisu after everything that's happened?"
A question you don't know the answer to. After Raphael's betrayal, you had actually sworn off men for a long time for fear that something similar would happen to you again. You tried to build a wall around your heart, but Charles has broken it down piece by piece and now there is only him. He has spread inside you, in your head and in your heart, and you are hungry for him - a feeling that you have never felt for Raphael before. A feeling that takes you by surprise and overruns you like an avalanche and you are helplessly at its mercy. 
"It's not the end of the world if you're ready for it," Kika assures you and her smile is genuine. "And when you're ready to give the tiramisu its real name, I'll be here if you want to talk about it."
You hug your friend tightly, causing her to let out a loud gasp. "Thank you, Kika. Really."
"You don't need to thank me. After all, I'm going to make full use of the mirror in your room soon and use you for your photography skills."
A few minutes later, you arrive at the small restaurant. As you enter through the glass door, you can already see the two men sitting at a table at the back. And Kika was right - apart from the four of you, the restaurant is deserted. 
"Where have you been?" asks Pierre as you join them. While Kika sits down opposite her boyfriend, you take the empty seat next to her. "We've been waiting for ages."
"We had to stop for a moment because I wanted to take photos," Kika explains and shows them both one of the pictures you took of her.
Pierre grimaces in amazement. "Very good photos. I hope you tag her in them too."
Playfully indignant, she puts her hand to her cleavage. "Of course! What makes you think I wouldn't do that? It might even land her more photo shoots with other models." She leans in your direction. "But as long as I remain your favorite model, everything's fine."
"You are and always will be my favorite model, Kika," you reply and briefly lean your cheek against the top of her head before she sits up straight again. 
While Kika and Pierre argue lovingly, you feel Charles pressing one of his legs against yours under the table. When you look at him, he smiles. "Everything okay?" he asks silently, tilting his head. 
You nod. "Everything's perfect." You press your leg against his as well.
The risotto you ordered doesn't taste too bad, even if it is a little more fancy than your typical meals. The boys talk about their sport and you try to understand everything, but when the conversation eventually turns to engines, you stop listening. 
You watch Charles as he talks energetically and passionately to his friend about his job, while the French mainly listens. He tries to explain things with his hands, waving them wildly in front of his face, and if you didn't know him, you'd think he was a bit out of his mind. But there is something twinkling in his eyes, a spark that shines brighter and brighter the longer he talks about Formula 1.
It makes him so attractive that you have to swallow. 
"How are Carlos and his girlfriend doing?" Kika interjects into the conversation. "I saw on Instagram the other day that they went on a trip together."
You look from Kika to Charles. "Who is Carlos?"
"My teammate at Ferrari. The other driver," he explains briefly with a smile before turning to Kika. "I've seen that too. Santorini or something, wasn't it? It was definitely nice, but let's see how long it lasts."
You have to ask again. " How long will it last? That doesn't sound like you have much faith in the relationship."
Kika, who has taken a sip of her water, puts her glass back on the table. "Unfortunately, this has nothing to do with faith," she explains and takes her cell phone out of her bag. She taps on it a little until she hands it to you. 
You see an Instagram page of a Becca, also a model, it seems. 27 years old, model at the Bijou Management agency. Her last post is actually from Santorini and alongside all the pictures of her lolling by the pool is one of her with a man. Carlossainz55 is tagged in the picture.
"When you're famous, it's harder to have a relationship," Pierre continues. "Not everyone is so lucky and falls in love with someone who is a good match for them. Sometimes rumors surface about people that aren't true, but still damage reputations. And to counteract this, some people go into relationships that put them in a good light."
You look around in confusion. "So it's a marketing strategy? So that people can sell themselves better?"
Charles nods. "These PR relationships are very conspicuous and usually easy to see through, but even then they distract from the actual rumor."
"And Carlos and Becca are in one of those PR relationships?" Your friends nod. "And what's the rumor that needs to be put to rest?"
Charles bites the inside of his cheek. "Carlos was with a young, super-nice woman for years. When they broke up, there was a rumor that he had a secret family and even a son. That this was the reason for the break-up. And that triggered a few conversations at Ferrari." He shrugs his shoulders. "And then they pulled Becca in for him."
You furrow your eyebrows. "Pulled her in? How do you find someone to willingly agree to a fake relationship like that?"
Kika catches your attention. "Some racing teams have a cooperation with certain modeling agencies for such cases. Which of course makes the whole thing even more conspicuous. But just think how much publicity the girlfriends get from it. It definitely doesn't hurt the modeling job."
"But you also have to understand that millions of euros are attached to a driver's reputation," Pierre explains. "Fans buy tickets to see their favorite driver. They buy merchandise like shirts, caps or whatever to show their loyalty. And loyalty is not exactly low. Ask Charles. One priest has his whole Instagram page dedicated to him."
As you look at your roommate, he can only nod. "That's true. Fans put their favorites on pedestals, praise them to the skies and would defend them to the bitter end. But a rumor that is so serious and has consequences like falling sales figures - anything is better than fans who refuse to support their favorites."
"And why do you think it won't be good for much longer?" Charles looks nervously around the room as if he doesn't know what to say, and his friends also avoid your gaze and your question. "Guys, I don't know these people. So, whatever you tell me - I can't do anything with the information anyway. Is there another woman?"
"It's not exactly another woman," Kika mumbles into her glass and all heads turn in her direction. "What is it? Like she's going to run to the nearest news agency and tell them that the Spanish Ferrari driver isn't exclusively into women."
You raise your hands placatingly. "In case it's not clear - of course I'll keep everything that's said around the table to myself. I'm not crazy and risking our friendship."
"I didn't expect anything else," Charles replies with a smile that could melt glaciers. "I couldn't bear it if we weren't friends anymore either." 
As you look at him and mindlessly lick your lips, you feel Kika's elbow gently on your arm. 
"What do you think? Do you fancy some tiramisu?" 
Your gaze lingers on Charles and when he presses his leg a little harder against yours, your breath hitches. "I'm craving it."
And indeed. The tiramisu isn't as good as the one at the restaurant where you met Kika and Pierre, but it comes close. You try to look away from Charles, but every time you look at him, his eyes are already on you. Something that makes you even more nervous than it should. 
When you get into the car a short time later, unnoticed, you glance briefly over the seats back into the trunk. "Where's the new bed?"
Charles straps himself in and has the seat belt fastened against his torso. "They'll deliver it between Christmas and New Year and set it up straight away. Then I won't have all the work and Pierre won't have to lug it around with me."
"For which I am very grateful," replies the Frenchman, steering the car through the streets of Monaco. "I don't even know how we're going to transport this mirror without breaking it. It was already barely possible to get it into the car."
"That sounds like a you-problem," grins Kika, looking at her boyfriend through the rear-view mirror. "You're the strong men. You'll find a solution while we get all the little things into the apartment. Right?"
The question is directed at you, but apart from a nod, she can't expect anything else in response. Charles's fingers are once again wrapped around your calf, his thumb gently stroking your warm skin and you can't think of anything else but the feeling of warmth that spreads through you from this small touch. 
It takes a good hour for both the mirror and the rest to get to the upstairs in your apartment. After Pierre involuntarily teaches you several swear words in French and Kika decorates your entire windowsill with fake plants, they quickly make a run for it, worried that you're both going to take even more advantage of them than you already have. 
"We've had a good day so far," you call out to Charles from the kitchen as you pour you both a glass of water each. You don't know where he is, but he will probably have heard you anyway. 
"Definitely," comes his voice from the living room. As you follow it, you see Charles sitting on the large couch, his head back and his eyes closed. Only now do you notice how thick his neck is. Is it from all the training for Formula 1?
"Here." You hold his glass of water out to him and he opens his eyes to accept it. As you sit down, he takes a sip. You watch his Adam's apple bounce as he swallows. 
"Thank you," he replies quietly and rests his arm on the back of the couch. A sign for you to lean against him, which you definitely don't refuse. 
As you snuggle into his side and breathe in his unmistakable scent, you feel tiredness overtake you. "But it was exhausting."
""Mh-mhh." 
"Thanks again. For my early Christmas present. Even though it wasn't necessary," you joke, but as rigid as Charles is sitting next to you, he doesn't seem to be in the mood for jokes. And as you follow his stare, the roses on the white piano come into your field of vision. The reason why you suggested the trip to the furniture store. And suddenly your tiredness is blown away. 
"Do you happen to know anyone who has something like a fire bowl or something?" you ask your flatmate. 
This question seems to break him out of his spell. His gaze wanders from the roses to you and he raises an eyebrow in confusion. "A fire bowl?" You nod. "Joris has a rooftop terrace and we've had bonfires there before in the summer." He licks his teeth once. "What do you need a fire bowl for? You're not thinking about sitting around a fire with sticks and marshmallows in winter, are you?"
"Not exactly," you reply and get up from the couch. As you look down at him, you hold out your hand. "Come on, mon joli. I have an idea."
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kolyubov · 4 months
Text
Kiss me hard before you go ✮⋆˙
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✧ pairing: College Student!Fyodor x Fem!Reader
✧ nonnie requested: Hiii! Your work is amazing. If you have the time I'd like to request a collage AU Fyodor x reader. Where Fyodor is like the typical "star student" who is popular but doesn't really care much for most people in the school. And then a new student comes around who has the potential to rival him in both popularity and studies, but instead he falls deeply inlove (like, he is whipped) after meeting her during one of his chess sessions with Dazai (reader and Dazai are friends). But reader kind of only takes Fyodor's advances as a technique to manipulate her and ignores them. If you want to do a one shot it could be, for example, about reader getting in trouble with a teacher, first time meeting, a party, confession, first kiss or everything in one. But headcanons/scenarios are also greatly appreciated. You can take away some parts if needed and I'm okey with nsfw, if you want to go there. And understand fully if this gets ooc, delusion is my favorite poison :)
✧ word count: 3.7k
✧ contents: nsfw, fingering (f!receiving), praise, teasing, Fyodor is ooc, slight public fingering, roughness (if you squint). If I missed any warnings please kindly let me know!
✧ author's note: nonnie, I love you so much for bringing all of these ideas, they’re all so so amazing. I twisted it a bit, taking away some things and adding others, but hope you like it either way<3
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The class was highly boring. The teacher's explanation has long been ignored by almost everyone inside the small classroom— Some people were chatting silently in the back of the class, others even playing cards underneath the desk and others simply sleeping.
Well, it seems like either she has very bad sight or just decides to ignore lazy students since they probably won't listen even after she threatens to send them to the principal's office.
You, sitting almost in the front row, couldn't enjoy slacking off because she would most likely notice and find it disrespectful, which would eventually lead to getting in trouble.
But the sleepiness was starting to get you.
You were resting your face against your palm, eyelids heavy as you fought to stay awake.
Slowly, the teacher's voice seemed to grow distant.
Before you can gladly slip into the land of dreams, someone kicks your foot, making you flinch awake once more. Turning to your side, Dazai was chuckling.
“I don't want you getting in trouble y’know? You still have to come with me to my chess session after class.” He flashes you a mocking pout before returning his attention to the teacher— He wasn't listening either, after all, he had earbuds on.
Oh, right, you promised Dazai to go to his chess session because he "would feel lonely if his bestie is not there”. Actually, he probably just wanted to show off his abilities since he knew you lack of understanding in chess. At least that's what you thought.
Dazai told you he usually has this session with Dostoevsky, the top student with the best grades on campus. Nobody truly knows who of the two is the best, but no one can deny their big brains. You inevitably roll your eyes at the thought of two smarties having a deep conversation in front of you during their chess game.
The two of them were popular, though Fyodor doesn't seem to care about it. He doesn't want more friends than the two weirdos he's with, nor does he care about having a good relationship with other people on the campus— When someone asks him for help about a certain subject, he shoves them off by telling them “Go ask the teacher about it.”
Dazai on the other hand, it's much more social and gets along with almost everyone, but he has very few people whom he really trusts. You are one of them.
The bell rang, pulling you out of your thoughts. Everyone stood up as quickly as they could to leave this tedious class and get some fresh air. Sadly, you had to face yet another unamusing event.
You took a deep breath.
Maybe this wasn't too bad? You had to think positively. Maybe you could even learn something from these two nerds.
You stretched your arms up, relaxing your muscles and letting out a soft groan before standing up from your chair and putting your things back in your bag. Dazai did too, and after you two had gathered your things, you left the classroom.
You don't know Fyodor at all. Other than knowing he's fighting for the Top Student position with Dazai and that he has two friends— everything else about him is an enigma.
You can't deny you were at least a bit excited about seeing him perform his chess tactics. Despite your lack of knowledge about the game.
˖⁺‧₊˚ ♱ ˚₊‧⁺˖
After walking along with Dazai for a while, going upstairs to the last floor of the building, where there were empty classrooms reserved for club activities, you stand in front of the chess club door. The hallway was quite empty, and not a lot of people chose to participate in clubs these days— You knew these rooms were mostly for other activities that went from occultism to having sex. However the latter doesn't happen anymore since cameras were installed. You're thankful for that.
“Don't be scared of Fyodor. He won't bite as long as I'm here.” Dazai laughs softly as he opens the door of the room. His words only make you frown at him.
The room was quite spacious and there were a few other students playing chess too. There was a nice silence around. The only noise is the chess pieces being placed on the chessboard with each turn.
“You're late as always, Dazai.”
Your attention is drawn to Fyodor, who's sitting with his arms and legs crossed, one above the other; a stoic expression on his face.
He was wearing a black long-sleeved turtleneck shirt, his coat was hanging on the back of his chair, his hair was tucked behind his ear and you noticed that he had a silver necklace with a cross.
Your fingers twitch slightly and your heart beats a little faster.
Ah, he is prettier up close.
What? No.
You didn't realize that you were staring at him for so long until his dark purple eyes went to your face and he raised an eyebrow.
Fyodor eyed you up and down as if you were a piece of meat for him to enjoy. The way your body tenses under his gaze; hands sneaking behind your back, lips pressing together, eyes trying to look anywhere but his. All of it gives him the hint that you'll be a nice prey.
“Oh? You brought a guest I see.” Fyodor smiles at you briefly, kindly, before looking back at Dazai who was placing his bag on the floor and sitting in front of him. He was very calm though he was facing another smart man such as him.
“She's my lucky charm.” He gives you a wink and you roll your eyes, unamused. You sat in front of the small square table, arms crossed, ready to watch the development of this game.
“Shall we begin, then, Dazai?”
“Of course.” Dazai giggles, wasting no time grabbing a white piece and making his move. “Seems like I have the upper hand today.”
Fyodor smirks, his slim fingers moving so delicately as he takes his turn.
Both of them seemed very relaxed as they played. Discussing random topics, and speaking with difficult words made it a little hard for you to understand their conversation.
But the tension was slowly starting to build up— Each turn was beginning to take more than a couple of seconds. They were taking their time before making any movements, and the smiles on both of the men's faces were starting to disappear as they went silent.
You, on the other hand, were almost falling asleep like back in class. What was the point of watching them play if you didn't understand how the game goes? Plus, they were in complete silence, how was this supposed to help you learn more about their stupid smart brains?
Ah, might as well take a little nap then.
“Shit.”
Dazai groaned in annoyance as his phone suddenly vibrated, distracting him from the game. After seeing who was calling, he stood up from the chair and walked out of the room without even excusing himself.
Your eyes followed Dazai as he left the room, lips parted in confusion.
Great, now you were left alone with Dostoevsky— Well… almost. There were other people playing chess in the room too but they were minding their own business.
Fyodor sighs, looking down at the chessboard before looking at you and tilting his head to the side.
Of course, he was going to take advantage now that the two of you were alone. He was eyeing his little prey and hopefully, he could get a pretty reaction if he pushed the right buttons.
God, forgive him for being so greedy.
“Do you want to play?”
You look in his direction, blinking a few times in confusion.
Telling him that you don't know how to play was going to be embarrassing as hell. He was going to make fun of you, probably. But, you didn't know that he could read you like a book. So Fyodor already noticed that you didn't understand the rules of chess.
You press your lips together, avoiding his penetrating gaze that makes something inside you tingle.
“I'll teach you, just pay attention because I'm not going to repeat myself.”
You nod, giving him a shy smile before taking Dazai's seat while begging internally for him to come back. Was that call so damn important?
“Move Knight to e6.”
“Sorry— what?”
Fyodor raises an eyebrow, waiting for your move. Like he said, he won't be telling you the same thing twice.
Looking down at the chessboard, you try to identify who's the “Knight”— Which wasn't so difficult, but now you have to move it somewhere you don't know.
When your eyes move from the board to him, you can see he's smiling. Oh, god. You hope Fyodor doesn't notice the way your cheeks heat up under his gaze.
But he did.
As if reading your mind again. Fyodor stands up from his seat and walks behind you; One hand on the back of your chair and the other pointing at a square from the chessboard. Dark locks of hair tickle your cheeks, a faint scent of coffee emanating from him. Would his lips taste like coffee too?
You press your thighs together, lowering your head down a little as his chest grazes against your back slightly; you can't help but feel smaller against him.
“…Now, did you understand?”
His smooth voice rings against your ear; low as if he was telling you a secret. Hell. You could even feel his lips brushing against the helix of your ear.
“I—”
You're interrupted before you can speak.
“Well, seems like we need to continue this game for later, Dos—”
Dazai stops in front of you with his phone in hand. His eyes opened wide and his lips parted in surprise.
“You two are getting along I see.” He snorts, grabbing his bag from the floor. “I’m leaving though, have fun. See you tomorrow, Dostoyevsky.” And with that, Dazai walks out the door again.
You panic.
You can't be alone with Dostoyevsky again after knowing how nervous you get with him close; how you look at him with a dumb expression after he speaks because you're too focused on his pretty features.
Fuck. No, what are you thinking about? He's not that handsome.
Fyodor is a smart man, he's probably just teasing you with light touches to rail you up and make fun of you later for being so easy. There's no way you're going to let this man play with your mind as if it is his toy.
“Wait! Osamu!” You quickly leave the chair, grabbing your bag as well and leaving behind Dazai.
For a small second you turn around. Fyodor's eyes met with yours; he was smiling again. Your eyes widened and you swore you could read his lips saying “Goodbye, my dear.”
˖⁺‧₊˚ ♱ ˚₊‧⁺˖
It's been a few days since you last interacted with Fyodor. And, since that first and —hopefully— last encounter, you were trying to avoid him.
You don't want to fall deeper into him.
After Dazai saw you two being very close, he kept messing with you about it.
“You two would make a great combination. The not-so-smart introvert girl and the top student intimidating Dostoyevsky… top student after me of course.”
“Why do you blush every single time he speaks? Do you think his voice is hot or something?”
“I saw you staring at Dostoyevsky in class today, are you sure you don't like him, hm?”
What a nuisance.
Of course, you didn't like him. You were trying to avoid him at all costs. Doesn't that make your dislike for him much more obvious?
In fact, you were sure you hated him.
Each time he spoke in class he always answered right with that unamused expression and with that egocentric tone that makes you roll your eyes.
There was no way you could fall for someone like him.
You sigh, currently walking down the hallway to the library, hoping to find some rest and silence from the noisy students and from your stupid brain that had been thinking about Dostoyevsky these last days.
The library had an old tone to it; yellowish lights and dark brown old shelves that went from the floor to the ceiling. Two floors full of books from all the subjects any student could find for their projects or to pass the time.
Even if it was full of people, the silence was almost absolute if it wasn't for a few people whispering and giggling. Still, it was a very peaceful place. Sometimes you wish you could stay here forever.
Since you know the place very well, you went straight to your favorite spot in the enormous library— It was under a stair, where there was an old dark green couch that was kind of comfy, enough to spend more than a few hours reading on it.
You remember leaving a book yesterday on the couch, after all, nobody went there; it was after walking through a long-ass corridor and after a few turns. Who would explore this big library completely like you did? No one, of course.
Well… You were wrong.
“What the fuck?”
“Hm? What a wonderful surprise…”
Seriously?
You cross your arms in front of your chest while looking down at Fyodor who was sitting on the couch with your book in his hands. You were trying to avoid him and he was the one that came to you. Funny.
Fyodor closed the book, placing it to the side before leaning back with his legs spread and his arms crossed as well.
“Nice book. You have good taste, sweetheart.”
The hell with this—
You turn around ready to leave, but he quickly grabs your wrist, pulling you towards him until you are standing in between his legs. His dark eyes look up at you.
“Why are you avoiding me? I'm not stupid, I see everything, you know?”
He loosens his grip on your wrist, his thumb caressing the back of your hand slowly. From this close, you can see his dark circles and his pale skin. Damn, he looks like a vampire…
“It's none of your business.” You frown, pushing his hand away.
“Do I make you so nervous, hm?”
Fyodor grins, leaning back once more. His smug expression only makes you more mad and you're beginning to wonder if he's doing it on purpose to get a kick out of this like last time.
He can't deny that he's enjoying it; You're so easy to get riled up that it's almost boring. Though your pretty pouty face is worth it.
“Shut up. You're in my seat. Leave.” You tried to keep a stern voice but Fyodor didn't budge from his seat.
“I'm not moving. If you want to sit on this couch so badly, might as well sit on my lap.” He pats his thigh, giving you a smirk.
Fuckfuckfuck.
He was playing with you again, probably laughing internally too— thinking you're just a stupid silly girl who can fall so easily into his trap.
He was using you as his entertaining resource.
Fine. You might as well play along.
With a hum, you flop on his lap, getting comfortable and leaning your back against his chest to which Fyodor immediately wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder.
“Such an obedient girl.”
You squirm on his lap, feeling how butterflies flutter inside your tummy. While trying to mask your sudden arousal, you reached for the book you wanted to read and opened it to where you left it before. While doing so, Fyodor's large fingers start kneading on your waist, slowly, as if he was savoring the feeling of your body against his palms.
“Are you enjoying your reading?”
You nod. The truth is that you can't even read with his hands exploring your waist and his pretty voice against your ear. You're only looking at empty words in the book, your mind not paying attention to the sentences or paragraphs.
Fyodor's hand brushed against your neck, and the coldness of it made you flinch. He pushed your hair aside, exposing your neck to him.
“Why don't you read for me out loud?”
“Why should I?” You shrug, completely leaning against his body again, trying to suffocate him or something— though it seems like having the contrary effect as his hands pull your hips to him.
“I want to know if you're focused on your little book or me.”
Cocky bastard.
You clear your throat to begin with your reading, but as soon as you open your mouth, his lips brush against the skin of your neck, leaving a small peck.
“Go on. I'm waiting, dear.”
Then, he presses another peck, waiting a few seconds before doing the same.
God. You can't react in this situation. Your body squirms with each touch or whisper. Your thighs pressed together and you look down at the book, trying to focus on the words but it's impossible.
“Ah—”
You whine, feeling his tongue teasing the crook of your neck before sucking on your skin. Arms wrapping around your waist again, caging you against him.
The air was starting to get heavy and you had already forgotten that you were in a public library; your mind getting foggy with the thought of what was going to happen eventually.
As he pulls away, kissing the new hickey he left, one hand wanders down to your thigh, squeezing it.
“You know you can leave if you don't want this, right?” You didn't answer, not wanting to fulfill his egocentric wishes.
“Hey, I'm talking to you.”
A hand slides to your neck, pressing a little, as he leans closer to your ear. He thrusts up while keeping your hips against his, trying to “fix” his position.
Ah, but you can feel his hardness against your ass.
“It seems like you're too shy to speak, so, let's do this; If you want to leave, just push my hands away from your body and I'll set you free…”
He chuckles, placing another peck on your neck.
“But if you don't want to leave… Spread those thighs for me, dearest.”
How humiliating; Your body was reacting on its own, and you spread your thighs for him. Without wasting any time, the hand that was on your hip slides inside your pants, lithe fingers finding the wet spot on your panties.
“Huh, how naughty.” You can hear him chuckling behind you.
You barely close your thighs again, feeling shy as his fingertips tease up and down your covered pussy, emanating soft moans from you. With your lips parted, he slid two fingers inside your mouth to keep you quiet.
“Suck on them and don't be loud, honey.” He whispers, kissing the back of your neck soothingly to distract you from the advance of his other two fingers over your pussy.
Pushing your panties aside, he groans at the wet and warm feeling. Coating his fingers with your arousal first before slowly inserting a finger. Fyodor rolls his eyes at the sensation— you were squeezing him so tight that he almost felt pity for your cunt; If you were already squeezing his finger so much, how would it be when he's balls deep inside you.
Saliva slips from your lips down your chin as you keep sucking on his other fingers that are keeping your mouth entertained. Trying your best not to moan out loud when his finger that was over your pussy began sliding in and out, reaching that sweet spot of yours with each thrust.
“I'm going to add another finger, pretty. Keep being good for me..”
Another groan leaves Fyodor's lips when you squeeze his finger at his praise. Oh, well, he was going to make sure to praise you lots then.
As his middle finger makes its way inside you and you whine at the stretching, his whole hand clads your mouth, not letting any noise escape from you.
“Fuck… Do you want someone to catch us?”
You shake your head from side to side, picturing how humiliating it would be if someone finds you sitting on Fyodor's lap and moaning because of his skilled fingers that reach where yours can't.
When his two fingers start moving, you're already in heaven. Grinding your hips and spreading your thighs further to give him space to go knuckles deep.
“Is my sweet angel going to cum on my fingers? Do it, dear, be a good girl for me.” Fyodor moans against your ear, slightly grinding his hips against yours as you approach your climax.
Your thighs close and you let out a muffled whimper as you come all over his fingers, walls clamping down on him as he presses his hand harder against your mouth, whispering sweet praises before sliding his sticky fingers out of your cunt and taking his hand off your mouth to let you breathe.
Fyodor is nice enough to push your panties back in place before removing his hand from your pants. His sticky fingertips tap your lower tip a few times so you can open up and lick them clean.
“Good girl…”
He pulls his fingers out of your mouth, caressing your cheek, and you take the opportunity to turn around and fall to your knees in front of him, placing your hands on his thighs. You might as well worship him like he did with you.
He was nice to you, so why not be nice to him as well? After all, you were eager to see what's underneath his intimidating façade.
“Ah— Right now it might not be the moment, dear.”
You frown, resting your cheek against his thigh.
“My apologies, but this place is quite risky, you already made a lot of noise and people might be wondering,” Fyodor smirks before leaning down to kiss the crown of your head as he removes his silver necklace to place it on your neck instead.
“We'll continue this another day, I promise.” He tilts your chin up, leaning in and kissing you slowly, slipping his tongue past your lips and groaning against your mouth while his hand squeezes your cheeks together, not letting you pull away before he's done with you.
So he does taste like coffee.
Fyodor withdraws, leaving one last peck on your lips before completely pulling away.
“Goodbye, my dear.”
Giving you one last soft smile, he stands up and walks away, leaving you sitting on the floor with red cheeks and heavy breathing.
You look down at the cross hanging from his necklace. Now resting on your chest.
God, you want to taste his lips again.
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© 2024 pinklacydovey
472 notes · View notes
shuahoonie · 8 months
Text
unspoken words | jeon wonwoo
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pairing: non-idol!wonwoo (svt) x fem!reader
notes: office!au (kinda?), fluff, suggestive jokes, swearing, idiots 2 lovers. alcohol consumption, jeonghan the matchmaker. the one where reader and wonwoo’s paths kept missing each other until they didn’t. loosely based on the song unspoken words by mxmtoon.
word count: 5.1k
summary: you and wonwoo always had a complicated relationship— no matter how hard you two tried, your lives had a funny way of getting intertwined.
and stubborn may you both be, wonwoo will always admit his feat when it comes to you.
part of the to x, with love mini series
shuahoonie's masterlist | to x, with love masterlist
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“i never asked you to stay,” wonwoo muttered as you helped him clean up after the info session that your work had conducted for a group of students.
“this is ridiculous,” you sighed more so to yourself “there’s no way you could’ve done this by yourself.” you said while you held the blue recycling bin, gathering all of the leftover flyers and other papers that had writing on them. you also had a separate bin for the coffee lids and cup sleeves to put in the recycling as well.
“you could’ve just left,” wonwoo was watching you the entire time, making a mental note that you were serious about putting away your trash. “i know seokmin is waiting for you in the lobby.”
“it’s okay.” you replied, not even bothering to look him in the eye. instead, you gathered everything in a neat pile.
“you shouldn’t keep him waiting,” the words came out so harsh when he said it. even wonwoo was surprised, he wasn’t usually like this.
“he’ll be fine,” you said dismissively, not really in the mood to argue with him.
“yn,” wonwoo calls your name as if he hated doing it. “go.”
it took everything within you to stop yourself from yelling at him. “your anger will mean nothing,” seokmin’s words would ring in your ear. so you took a deep breath, dropped what you were doing and left without another word.
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“oh, seok, i was ready to pounce him.” you grumbled, stabbing the lettuce on your salad a little too aggressively.
"what, like sexually?" seokmin realized it was a bad joke. the way you were practically throwing daggers at him made it painfully obvious that you were not in the mood to kid around. "i'm sorry, yn, but you really need to lighten up."
"if there's anyone who needs to lighten up, it's him," you argued, munching on your greens. "in fact, maybe i should light him up."
"i still don't understand how you two got off on the wrong foot," seokmin points out, hoping a proper explanation will emit from you.
you shrugged because you didn’t know what to tell your friend. the first time you properly met wonwoo was at your workplace. you even thought he was cute— quiet, had the nicest smile. your other coworkers were even raving about how polite and kind he was.
imagine your surprise when the ‘polite’ cutie from the editorial floor practically threw daggers at you as soon as you stepped into the office with the cerulean blue folders. this threw off wonwoo as he did the preparation for the meeting.
“in my defence, i saved both our asses when i replaced the folders during that important meeting with the new york office,” you grumbled.
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unbeknownst to you, wonwoo kept a close track of your encounters. the first time wonwoo met you was through university.
you were the president of the school’s undergraduate publication journal and you were only in your second year. wonwoo was one of the new student recruits, he was a third year. he actually thought you were cute until you had assigned him to deal with international relations— wonwoo had applied for the editorial layout section. wonwoo was not happy.
you probably don’t remember him, wonwoo knew it. how could you? you were running around, trying to figure out the logistics, gather and have people review these submissions, edit and have it all printed before the next term starts. meanwhile, wonwoo was stuck somewhere, trying to solve things on his end. you only left notes on his work, you two barely met during meetings. you two had no direct contact.
once you were in your third year, you had to step down as president and become a casual editor instead. wonwoo became the publication journal’s president that year. you two still had no direct contact.
you unintentionally beat him for that librarian assistant position that wonwoo was gunning for as it'll boost his resume.
somehow, for wonwoo, you were always one step ahead of him and he doesn't like that one bit.
so the day you pranced into the office with your signature bright smile, wonwoo felt territorial over a place where he felt like he finally was one step ahead of you.
wonwoo didn't even like that seungcheol served you the last chocolate cake the day he stopped by at heaven's cloud cafe.
"how could you, cheol?" wonwoo huffed, his arms crossed, as cheol placed the iced americano and a slice of strawberry cake on wonwoo's table.
"it's just a slice, dude," seungcheol looked at him weirdly. "and you don't even like chocolate.”
“yeah, but i wanted a chocolate cake today.”
“jeon wonwoo, quit being weird and eat your cake,” jun comments as he appears behind seungcheol, dropping his things on the floor and sitting on the opposite of wonwoo.
while jun waits for his order to arrive, he worked on the monthly report that his boss has been pressuring him to do. as jun went on rambling about how much he hates his job, wonwoo is occupied with the idea of you. how you were always a step ahead of him.
from then, jeon wonwoo declared a one-sided competition against you.
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your idea of jeon wonwoo was simple— he was the cute guy from the editorial team who hates your guts. why? surely, you don’t know.
one rainy afternoon, seokmin made sure to tell you that he won’t be able to give you a ride home, so he gave you the spare umbrella that he had.
“please be kind, ynnie, and let someone stand under your umbrella if they don’t have theirs,” seok reminded you.
“you know damn well i’m always kind,” you huffed with a pout— in which seok just gave you a pointed look before he handed you an umbrella and your lunch.
it seemed that your words had come to haunt you because here you were, walking under the rain using seok’s tiny umbrella, passing by wonwoo who was waiting in front of the office building— probably waiting for the rain to stop as he had no umbrella.
“he’d be waiting all night,” you thought to yourself. you had a long internal battle whether you’d just ignore him but seok’s words were ringing in your ear.
taking a deep breath, you asked “do you want to share an umbrella?”
wonwoo’s startled eyes looked at you and your umbrella. “i’m calling a cab,” he answered. wonwoo wasn’t exactly lying, he’s been trying to get one but the rain has made it extremely difficult to find one.
“well, you’d be calling all night. cabs are extremely hard to find especially at times like these,” you answered. wonwoo hated that you were right. again, always one step ahead of him. “subways are still running, do you want to walk together?”
wonwoo stared at you for what felt like an eternity before you rolled your eyes and pulled him under your umbrella. “we’re walking, stop overthinking it.”
you two were walking quietly in the rain. you’ve been coworkers for almost a year now and you can’t remember the time you and wonwoo had a proper conversation— one that you two didn’t end up bickering about senseless things. you didn’t even know why you two were always butting heads when you two were always working closely together. 
as you tried to squeeze the two of you under seok’s tiny umbrella, you noticed that his shoulder was practically soaking wet. of all the umbrellas that he’d give you, he had to choose the tiniest one he owned. this prompted you to hover the umbrella more on his side, allowing the rain to soak your exposed shoulder instead. 
wonwoo noticed how you moved the umbrella towards him, making him raise an eyebrow. you were wonwoo’s greatest puzzle— he can’t guess your next move and what’s worse is that you’re always one step ahead of him. “what are you doing?” he asked with furrowed brows. 
you looked up at him, suddenly aware of how tall he is. no wonder your arms were getting tired from holding that damn umbrella up. “what do you mean?” you asked, confused by his question.
wonwoo grabbed the umbrella from you— your hands touching for a brief moment. you ignored whatever was forming in the pit of your stomach. maybe you’re just hungry? wonwoo hovered the umbrella closer to you, fully aware of the fact that his shoulder was getting wet from the rain. “you’re getting soaked,” wonwoo replied curtly. 
“so are you,” you pointed out as you held the umbrella and tried to move it closer to him. however, wonwoo resisted it. 
“i’m fine,” he says. 
“whatever you say,” you huffed “it’s not like you intended to have annoyingly broad shoulders anyway,” you grumbled more to yourself, hoping he didn’t hear it. however, wonwoo heard your frustration over his shoulders and he couldn’t fight off the smile on his face. 
it was the first time he could openly admit to himself that you made him smile. it was also the first time you caught him smiling.
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“oh, how adorable,” mingyu grinned upon hearing the umbrella-sharing story from wonwoo. “and you said you weren’t one for office romances,” he teased earning a glare from wonwoo. 
"because i'm not," wonwoo rolled his eyes "and i don't like her," he said almost defensively.
mingyu snorted "yeah, as if i haven't heard that line before." he said while setting up the living room for a movie night between him, wonu, jun, and chan. jun and ichan were running a little late as they were buying drinks.
"well, it's true," wonwoo crossed his arms "there's something about her that makes me feel like..." wonwoo trailed off, finding the right words to say.
"like?" mingyu sat on the couch, turning towards wonwoo— clearly invested.
"like... fuck, i don't know..."
mingyu lets out a dramatic gasp. "dude," he stares at wonwoo in complete awe. "you swore..."
"and?"
"you never swear unless you're completely frustrated," mingyu pointed out, a teasing look glimmering in his eyes. "you like yn, huh?!"
before wonwoo could even answer, mingyu's doorbell rang. saved by the bell, wonwoo thought.
"oh, this is not over, jeon wonwoo." mingyu said with a smirk, making wonwoo groan.
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"seok, quit looking at me like that," you whined as you hugged the pillow tighter, placing your chin on top of the pillow.
"what?" seok grinned "it's nice to know that your beef with your coworker is slowly coming to an end."
"he was probably thinking how ridiculous i sounded for mentioning his shoulders," you grumbled. "why did i even mention his shoulders?!" you groaned.
seokmin couldn't help but laugh at how adorable you were being. "oh my sweet, ynnie," he cooed, ruffling your hair.
"here you go, yn," vernon said as he handed you a pint of ice cream. you were hosting a sleepover with seok, vern, and kwan. you three were waiting for seungkwan to arrive with the rest of the snacks.
you initially thought that you'd have the ice cream later but vernon thought that you might need it sooner than later. "thanks, nonie," you smiled at him.
"for what it's worth ynnie, he finally smiled at what you said." vernon said before taking a bite of his ice cream.
"and now yn is acting up because she thought he was cute," seokmin said teasingly, making vernon laugh.
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wonwoo believes that the universe is out to get him. he kept complaining that you were always one step ahead of him and now, the universe is starting to retaliate.
"take yn," his manager tells him, making wonwoo clutch tighter on his notebook.
"sir?" wonwoo must be hearing things. there's no way that his manager actually asked him to take yn, right?
"take yn ln," his manager stresses your name. "didn't you two work on the last summit?"
"yes, but sir—"
"then it's final," his manager dismisses wonwoo "you two did a wonderful job with the last summit, i'd like you two to work on this year's professional development sessions."
"you two make a wonderful team," was the final thing that his manager said. without another word, wonwoo left the office feeling defeated. how can wonwoo be one step ahead of you if the universe is making him walk alongside you?
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it was no surprise that wonwoo was everyone's office crush in the editorial department. people would often turn their heads whenever he walked by. this time was no exception.
the people on your floor knew the budding tension between you two. so when wonwoo was walking towards your desk with two coffees and a bag of dessert in hand, heads definitely turned and people were bound to talk.
"here," wonwoo hands you an iced americano and a bag of what you assumed was a slice of chocolate cake, catching you off-guard. your desk computer was showing the available job listings in the other departments. "are you thinking of transferring?" he asked as he leaned closer to your monitor— closer to you. his cologne was easily filling your nostrils. you hate that he smells good. how are you supposed to despise a man who smells good?! you thought. wow, the bar is literally on the floor.
"i'm keeping my options open," you answered as you crossed your arms, snapping yourself to reality. "it's not like you're making my life any easier here," you muttered the latter sentence, though you did hope that he heard it.
it's been a month since you and wonwoo started working on the company's professional development sessions. it's also been a month of torture. you've gotten frequent migraines that you started looking up if taking tylenol frequently will kill you. you didn't like the results.
wonwoo heard the latter sentence. while the month has been torture for you, wonwoo didn't mind your company at all. sure you were butting heads most of the time, but he noticed how much you were willing to compromise just to settle a conclusion between you two. wonwoo liked pushing your buttons. he found you cute even if you wanted to bite his head off.
"is this a peace offering?" you motioned to the coffee and the cake that was sitting on your desk.
"for what?" wonwoo smirked, playing coy. "you agreed to the after-session event, fair and square."
"bitch?!" you stared at him as if he's gone mad "if anything, you made it your life's mission to annoy me into agreeing that going to an escape room is what we need after overloading our brains from the sessions."
"yn ln, you know i can go to HR because you cursed at me, right?"
"jeon wonwoo, you know we're banned from that floor unless there's a serious allegation," you said, massaging your temples. "now humour me, what's with the coffee and cake?"
"oh, i stopped by at heaven's cloud café earlier and jeonghan practically insisted that you have these," wonwoo said casually, looking away.
you stared at him suspiciously, "thanks, i guess." you haven't spoken to jeonghan in a while since you've always been swamped with work. but maybe that's why you got free coffee and desserts?
before you could even ask wonwoo another question, he quickly left without even looking back at you. deciding to ignore it, you snapped a quick picture of the coffee and the cake, shooting jeonghan a quick text, "thanks for the coffee & cake, hannie! miss u! ♡"
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"jeon wonwoo, is there a reason why yn sent me a text earlier, thanking me for the coffee and cake that i didn't give her?" jeonghan asked wonwoo, who was busy typing away on his laptop. wonwoo stopped at jeonghan's place after work as their other friends will be dropping by later as well.
"i don't know what you're talking about," wonwoo mumbled, not looking at han in the eye.
jeonghan was having none of it. "i'm texting yn that you gave those things to her," he threatened, pulling out his phone.
knowing jeonghan is probably going to commit to it, wonwoo sighed and threw his hands in defeat. "fine."
“and so the plot thickens,” jeonghan smirked, crossing his arms. “so is there a reason why?"
"she was having a rough day," wonwoo explained, closing his laptop. that report will be dealt with tomorrow. "i felt bad."
jeonghan raised an eyebrow at him. "i thought you didn't like her?"
"i don't."
"funny, because that's an odd way of expressing how you dislike her," jeonghan said, making wonwoo roll his eyes.
“i can at least recognize all the work she’s been doing in planning the pd session,” wonwoo replied, defensive.
jeonghan smirked because he knew. he knew that wonwoo was walking on a thin line. in fact, jeonghan was 100% sure that his friend has gone soft for you. “okay, whatever you say.”
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“ynnie!” seungcheol calls your name as he spots you, busy choosing what kind of juice you are going to buy. you decided to stop by at the grocery to grab a couple of things for the fridge.
you gave him a small wave, smiling. seungcheol, however, was eager to give you a hug. you, cheol, and han shared a couple of classes back when you three were in university. you were always supportive of their endeavours that’s why cheol & han always had a soft spot for you— they considered you like a little sister that they always had to take care of.
“how was the cake from earlier? you know i’ve been taking a lot of baking lessons recently,” cheol said with a proud smile.
“oh, it was great, cheol!” you said sincerely “i sent jeonghan a text earlier, saying thanks.”
“thanks for what?”
“for the cake…?” you trailed off, a bit off-guard by the confusion plastered on seungcheol’s face.
“why would you thank jeonghan?” seungcheol asked, even more confused.
“jeonghan wasn’t there?”
cheol shook his head no. “unless jeonghan told wonwoo, but i assumed wonwoo bought it for you. i was teasing him about it too, since he doesn’t like chocolate that much.”
“ah,” was all you could say as you felt your cheeks burning, surprised by cheol’s sudden information. is that why jeonghan hasn't replied to your text at all?
cheol suddenly felt like he just triggered a bomb. oh, he fucked up. as if on cue, his phone started ringing. mingyu was calling. "okay, i'm heading off, ynnie."
you just nodded and waved goodbye, feeling confused. it was a good thing that you won't be seeing wonwoo during the weekend otherwise you would've gone mad.
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heaven's cloud café was buzzing with people when you came in.
you spent a lot of time debating if you had to improvise how you would spend your sunday morning. you would usually stop by the heaven's cloud café and spend a good chunk of your time there— reading or chatting with jeonghan and seungcheol.
however, knowing that wonwoo might stop by at the cafe, it left you questioning if you wanted to derail your usual sunday routine.
and yet, your pride got the best of you. no matter how much you didn't want to see wonwoo, you weren't going to derail your sunday routine especially if it involved coffee.
although the café was usually busy on the weekends, today was unusually busy— you wondered if there was a special promotion taking place. jeonghan hasn't even acknowledged your presence yet as han is busy manning the till while also preparing the drinks. cheol is probably in the kitchen, preparing food.
you settled on the last empty table at the very back— dropping off your things, deciding to order a bit later once the line from the till calms down.
while you were busy scrolling on your phone, someone placed a tall glass of iced americano and a slice of strawberry cake on your table.
"you should try this, it's a house favourite," someone with a deep voice said. you looked up and saw jeon wonwoo with slightly messy hair, wearing your favourite black specs and a white button-up, smiling at you. fuck, he looks good. is hell officially frozen?
"are you perhaps a twin of jeon wonwoo?" you asked, completely boggled.
"yn, what the hell?" wonwoo laughs at your incredulous take, making you even more confused. why is this wonwoo variant laughing and smiling at you? most of all, why are they bringing you food when you haven't even ordered?! "what made you say that?"
you reached out your hand and poked his cheek, making him laugh. "are you really wonwoo from sector17 press?"
"yn, seriously, what makes you think that it's not me?"
"why are you so smiley all of a sudden," you cried, weirded out. "and why are you serving me food?"
"my, do you like it when i give you a hard time?" wonwoo said, teasingly "is that a kink of yours?"
"you're fucking weird, jeon wonwoo," you smacked his arm. "i've never met the weekend version of wonwoo and i don't think i like it," you cried quietly to yourself.
"cute," wonwoo says quietly, still smiling at you. "i'll talk to you later, okay? i'm helping cheol and han for the day and i feel like they'll beat my ass if they see me slacking off." wonwoo gently ruffled your hair and walked away, leaving you flabbergasted.
you felt that familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach. oh god, what the fuck just happened?
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the friday night that jeonghan found out that wonwoo used jeonghan’s good name to protect his image, was the same night that seungcheol bumped into you at the grocery store.
drinks were getting passed rather at a rapid speed. for them, this night was a gem among other nights. most of jeonghan’s friends were at his place, enjoying the night away.
“ya, wonwoo,” cheol suddenly calls wonwoo, who was barely drinking— as per cheol’s opinion. “i thought tonight was the night that you were going to get loose.”
wonwoo chuckled, “i’m pacing myself.”
jeonghan snorted. “cheol, you’re talking to the guy who still cannot admit his high school crush on our ynnie.”
this earned a couple of laughs from the group, mainly from mingyu and jun.
“yoon jeonghan, just because you’re in a happy relationship—” wonwoo threw a balled up napkin at him, obviously not knowing how to reply.
“oh, wons, that reminds me…” cheol started rubbing the back of his head “i told yn that it was you who gave her the food and not jeonghan.”
as soon as the words left cheol’s mouth, it’s as if wonwoo felt annoyingly sober. he downed the tall shot of bacardi that was supposed to be mingyu’s shot.
“i don’t get why you’re tiptoeing around your feelings for her,” mingyu pointed out, filling the shot glass again. “it’s not like there’s a company policy against dating your coworkers.”
“isn’t there?” joshua asked. wonwoo shook his head no. “lucky bastard.” shua muttered, taking mingyu’s shot.
“you guys, what’s the point of doing rounds when you’re taking the shots as you please?” mingyu whines.
“i thought you didn’t like yn?” jun asked wonwoo, taking a bite of the kimchi jeon. “or is that like a weird defence mechanism against your feelings?”
"oh please," mingyu rolled his eyes "wonwoo had a huge crush on yn ever since our uni days," he pointed out, prompting wonwoo to hit him.
"weren't you two in like a school publication together?" jeonghan asked, taking the shot from mingyu.
"oh, right! you had like a one-sided beef with yn," jun's eyes lit up briefly, then proceeded to smirk at wonwoo, "ya! is that how you show your affection?"
"obviously not," cheol grins "our wonwoo is the type to show his affection through actions, not words."
"what are the chances that they'd end up working under the same company though," joshua commented with a fond smile.
"and in the same department too," jeonghan added.
wonwoo groans, before taking a shot, "i hate all of you."
"you two have a deep history, have you two never talked?" joshua asked, now invested.
wonwoo shakes his head, "we only talk about work."
"if they talk about work," mingyu laughs, "all they do is argue."
"how do you know all of this, gyu?" cheol asked in disbelief, laughing, "you work at a different company."
"i work with seokmin," mingyu replied "and seok likes to tell stories about yn."
"ya, didn't we invite him tonight?" cheol suddenly remembers, looking at his phone to check his message thread with seok.
"he's probably with yn," wonwoo muttered before taking another shot. this gets attention from the rest of the group— a series of teasing smirks and playful looks being exchanged.
like a kid on christmas morning, a bright smile appears on mingyu's face. "won, are you perhaps jealous?" he teased, with the new-found information.
wonwoo scoffed but didn't answer the question. wonwoo swore he wasn't the jealous type. but for some reason, he can't get over the fact that his friend was closer to you.
wonwoo knew that there was nothing going on with you and seok.
however, seok was your person, wonwoo would always think. you felt happier around seok. if wonwoo didn't know any better, he would assume that you liked seok. maybe she does, wonwoo can't help but think.
"you know they're just friends, right?" mingyu reminded wonwoo.
wonwoo doesn't say anything. he was just waiting for his friends to butt into the conversation. wonwoo's eyes caught jeonghan's. jeonghan smiles, that mischievous smile of his, leaving wonwoo confused.
"won, do you wanna know who she likes?" jeonghan instigates, leaning forward.
wonwoo waits, does he really wanna know?
jeonghan smiles, then says "you."
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wonwoo didn't believe in signs— for him, every little decision a person makes is pulled by the desired outcome. however, you were his only exception.
"if ynnie stops by at the café on sunday, will you finally talk to her like civilized beings?" jeonghan's words rang loudly in wonwoo's ear.
"i don't believe in signs," wonwoo states simply.
"and you can't make an exception for yn?" jeonghan knew how to play the game. he's just waiting for wonwoo to swallow his pride and address his suppressed feelings.
"maybe." wonwoo answers, making jeonghan smile mischievously. and so, it begins, jeonghan thinks.
it was ridiculous— waiting for something to happen when he could've just started a conversation with you. but it's so hard when it's you. god, it's so hard for wonwoo when it's you because you make him feel things that he thought were only exaggerated by films.
wonwoo didn't know if jeonghan's revelation about you was a lie, but he'd be lying if he said that it didn't affect him— because it did. it felt like he was back in high school and he's not sure if that's something he liked.
jeonghan and seungcheol were very much aware of your routine. every now and then, you would visit the café every sunday— even during the morning rush. they were most definitely aware of what's waiting for you and wonwoo.
the two owners had tasked wonwoo to help with serving the orders as more people flooded the café. "make yourself useful while you wait for your girlfriend!" was all jeonghan said as he handed wonwoo an apron.
and so when you entered the café, wonwoo gathered all his strength to talk to you casually, even if it sent him through an overdrive.
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while you were walking towards the washroom, you bumped into jeonghan who was grinning at you. you knew that man long enough to know that he's hiding something when he's smiling like that.
"ya," you pulled jeonghan to the side. "what are you hiding?"
"what do you mean?" han answers, blinking at you innocently.
"why is wonwoo being nice and smiley," you asked him with a huff, crossing your arms. wonwoo being smiley was something you didn't know would affect you this bad. "he's being too cute for my liking," you muttered the latter part.
jeonghan laughs at your dilemma. "isn't that what you wanted?"
"what do you mean—" you were confused with jeonghan's comment until it dawned on you. you remembered the time you went out for drinks with jeonghan and seungkwan. "yoon jeonghan!" you slapped his arm, making him yelp but he was still laughing.
"what?" he looks at you, acting confused as he rubs his arm. "i'm being supportive here!"
"you promised me you wouldn't tell him," you pouted.
"oh please, he was jealous of seok, i had to throw him something."
"so you told wonwoo about the time i got drunk with you and professed my undying feelings for him instead?!"
"no," jeonghan replies. his eyes moved past yours, looking past your shoulders, and smiled. "but i think you already did." jeonghan says, patting your shoulder before he left.
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wonwoo was sitting across from you with a smile on his face. you've never seen this man smile at you this much, it was starting to freak you out.
"don't look at me like that," you grumbled, glaring at wonwoo.
"i can't help it," he looks at you almost tenderly. "you look adorable even when you're sulking like that."
you felt the familiar sensation in your stomach. how can jeon wonwoo just say things like these to you? does he not care about your well-being?! how you'd feel?
"that was a long time ago, by the way," you said in defence— as if the damage hadn't been done. wonwoo waits for you to continue your sentence. "you know, me having a crush on you," you continued, your tone getting quieter after each word.
"i'm sorry, what was that?" wonwoo leans closer, as if he didn't hear what you just said. you knew he was just teasing you as you noticed that he was trying to fight off a smirk.
"i don't like you, jeon wonwoo," you whispered, prompting wonwoo to only focus on your lips.
"that's too bad because," wonwoo paused briefly and leaned even more, "i like you."
his face was dangerously close to yours— wonwoo didn't care if half of his body was practically hovering over the table. he wanted to lean closer to you.
you felt frozen in your place. a part of you wanted to lean back and smack him, but there's also a part of you that just wanted to grab his stupid face and kiss it.
"ya!" jeonghan suddenly appeared beside your table "if you two are going to make out in my café, can you move to cheol's office? i'm planning to keep this place family-friendly," jeonghan snickered.
maybe you should just kiss wonwoo and smack jeonghan instead.
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hello hello friends! i wrote this while i was sick in bed & was high on buckley's flu meds, so this is v cheesy. i hope you are all well & healthy! ♡
881 notes · View notes
outofconcheol · 5 months
Text
Collision (LMH x F!Reader)
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pairing: football player!Minho x RA!reader (afab) genres/au/rating: smut, fluff, some angst, college au, 18+ summary: The school year was a chance to start fresh - make new memories, meet new people, and most of all to leave the past behind. But Lee Minho is determined to make sure you never forget the one summer night you’d spent with him - no matter how hard he has to work for it.
warnings: alcohol, swearing, some crude jokes, OC is a bad RA, Minho is very whipped, such poor communication, minor mention of weed, bad poetry, disciplinary action against students
word count: 14k
a/n: it's finally finished! this was the result of me spiraling after seeing this tiktok edit of Super Bowl Minho? also totally not because i was also an RA who lived next to a pack of frat boys in college (don't jump into fountains with boys kids). this also might be a good time to confess that i know nothing about football, so that's fun! i'm so sorry it was so slow coming out, i hope you enjoy!
smut warnings under the cut!
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smut warnings: brief, non-graphic smut scene, but also: kissing (so much kissing), dirty talk, marking, nipple play, fingering (f!receiving), oral (f!receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it pls)
The common room was oddly quiet. Normally, you’d hear people shuffling around and chattering in the halls, their laughter echoing off the dull grey tiles. But right now, silence. With the dingy wood and fluorescent lighting, it felt like a ghost town. It wouldn’t have bothered you on any ordinary day. Except today was your first meeting with the new residents of your dorm as their RA. And it was five minutes to eight and they were nowhere to be found.
You honestly couldn’t understand why anyone hadn’t shown up yet. The bulletin board had been decked out in the colours of your school football team, the Stray Kids, and you’d even promised snacks! In fact, a lot of the people you’d run into in the halls had been excited to come - or maybe they just felt pressured into it by your overeagerness. Now, looking at the different spreads of cookies and brownies you’d baked with the help of your roommate Felix, your heart sinks. Speaking of Felix, where was he?
You’d been looking forward to the start of the school year all summer, so excited to finally embrace this job and your new responsibilities. But even more than that, you were so excited to make a handful of new friends heading into your senior year. Your entire college career had been consumed by studying and getting involved in a million different clubs, and although you hung out with Felix, and a few others, you felt like you’d been lacking in the experiences that made college… well college. And what better way to get access to college experiences than to be left to look after a rowdy group of students?
You hear footsteps thudding down the hallway, and heavy breathing, and all of a sudden, Felix’s freckled face comes into view. You shoot him an angry glare, before softening when you realize he’s not alone. Three other boys walk in after him.
“____, this is Jisung, Jeongin, and Seungmin. They’re down the hall from us.”
“Welcome you guys!” you set aside your anger, putting on your best smile for them. The three of them greet you happily, not even lasting five seconds before descending on the snacks, and you giggle at the way Jisung’s cheeks puff out as he stuffs chocolate chip cookies into his mouth. 
Soon enough, more people shuffle in, until the common room is filled to the brim with residents, and you let out a sigh of relief. Maybe they didn’t hate you after all. Before, long, everyone is settled in, and you waste no time, heart pattering as you launch into an explanation of the rules and expectations for the year.
As expected, a handful of people are nodding off, while others have their eyes glued to their phones. However, Seungmin, Jisung, and Jeongin are hanging off your every word attentively, smiling after every phrase, and despite it being corny, you can’t help but find them endearing. You’d have to make a mental note to visit their room later and get to know them.
While you continue on, not wanting to keep everyone too long, you notice a couple of guys sneak in the back, twenty minutes late, and immediately your smile drops. The blue jerseys tell you immediately that they’re the players from Stray Kids. A few heads turn when they walk in, and suddenly, there’s a hum in the air, the residents thrumming with excitement at the sighting of campus celebrities. Suddenly, all the attention is off you and on them.
Felix shoots you a look of apology, and you huff, watching the meeting go down in flames. You don’t know how many minutes pass before the crowd dies down, people spilling out one by one, until only the four players and Felix are left. 
Putting on your fakest sweet smile, you stomp up to them, ready to give them a piece of your mind, when you bump into a solid chest, strong arms wrapping around you to steady you.
“Whoa there, you good?” A deep voice booms out, and you look up to see Chan, the captain of the team, looking down at you with a smirk.
“I—,” you begin, nostrils flaring in anger, but you’re interrupted once again by Chan.
“Sorry for crashing your little party, practice ran late, you know how it is.”
His eyes are alight with a glimmer as he says it, taking you in.
“I’d appreciate if next time, you could let me know, so I can plan ahead,” you grit out through your teeth, watching another one of the guys, one with arm muscles so huge he could probably rip a tree in half, descend on the cookies you’d laid out.
“That’s Changbin,” Chan chuckles. “And over there is Hyunjin.”
You look to the door, where another tall, lanky player is leaning against the frame, a look of casual disinterest on his face. He gives you a nod, and you scoff under your breath, hoping he doesn’t hear you.
“And this is Minho, our other roommate.”
You freeze on the last introduction, finally taking in the final figure in the room. He’s just as paralyzed as you are, unable to move, lips parted in shock. Feeling like you’ve been struck by lightning, you feel your throat tighten, unable to look up. The ground beneath you feels like it’s about to give way, and you’re suddenly aware that Felix is no longer in the room, mentally cursing him out in your head for leaving you alone right now.
“Hey,” Minho finally manages to get a word out, and your eyes snap up to his, watching the way he shoots an easy smile in your direction.
You hate the way your heart reacts to that smile because you’d promise yourself once already you’d never let it get to you again. All of a sudden, a distinct memory from the summer comes rushing back to you, one you’d tried so hard to bury in the back of your mind. 
Twinkling fairy lights, red solo cups on the table out back, and Usher blasting from the speakers. The one house party you’d snuck out to that summer with your best friend, Ryujin. The one where you’d met him.
Those same lips had smirked at you from across the room, dark and serious eyes inviting you to come over and take a chance. And you had. Lips crashing onto his, Minho’s kisses swallowing your moans. The music from the party gradually fades as he leads you upstairs, the soft click of the door locking behind you before he pushes you onto the bed. The cute outfit you’d chosen to wear that night was discarded carelessly to the side, Minho’s hands tracing circles across your skin, his lips latching desperately onto your neck, sucking blooms across your skin. Minho is on his knees, your legs thrown over his shoulders, eyes completely blown with lust, looking like he wants to devour you. Watching the dim light hit the lean lines of his body as he strips, his soft groan when he pushes into you, digging your heels into his back.
Minho’s low voice when tells you how pretty you sound, how good you are for him before you’re exploding, falling apart at the seams. 
And then, regret. Slipping out before dawn could come around, watching Minho snooze peacefully, unaware that he’d wake up to an empty bed, unaware that thoughts of that night with him would continue to haunt you the entire summer. 
The boys’ boisterous laughter breaks you out of your daze, and you watch Chan and Changbin wave to you before grabbing a handful of snacks and slipping out the door. Hyunjin isn’t far behind, eyeing your shocked face with a curious expression.
Minho lingers for a moment, studying you with the same hypnotic gaze. You’re painfully aware that you haven’t been able to get a single word out, but his stoic face twists into a salacious grin. He trails after his roommates, but not before pausing and shooting you a wink.
“Well damn, this year just got a whole lot more exciting.”
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Kim Namjoon was extremely good at his job – or so he thought. As the grad advisor for the resident assistant program at the university, he’d painstakingly read through hundreds of applications, combing through many impressive resumés in search of the best of the best. And he thought he’d found it in you. Which is why the situation he found himself in was completely and utterly baffling to him.
“It’s literally the first week of the school year, and you’re telling me you already want to quit?!”
You fidget in your seat uncomfortably, looking anywhere but directly at Namjoon, knowing that if you caught his gaze, you’d be finished. Over.
“Are those pressed resin flowers?” you gesture over to the wall, hoping you can distract him.
“____.”
“W-well, it’s not exactly like that, it’s just…”
“I fail to understand what could be so horrible about your current group of residents that you’d give up free room and board,” Namjoon quips, before pausing. “I mean — great responsibility as well.”
You want to scream. How were you supposed to tell your boss that the reason you wanted to quit the job you’d worked so hard for is that, in one drunken night, you’d slept with one of your residents and now didn’t have the gall to face him for an entire year?
Your cheeks burn, thinking of Minho’s smirk, the one that had you screaming into your room. In the few days since the meeting, you’d managed to successfully avoid him, and his roommates, making a mad dash for your room straight after class. Oh well, you could always branch out and live your best college life next year. After the football players graduated. 
Namjoon could put you anywhere, even banish you to the hell of a single room in that maybe-haunted residence hall on the edge of campus. The one where there was an alleged ghost wandering around? Yeah, you’d take it. Anywhere away from Lee Minho.
“I chose you for this job for a reason, ___, because I saw great potential in you,” Namjoon continues with a heavy sigh. “I’m confident that whatever you’re anxious about, it’ll resolve itself. Now, you should head out. From the schedule, I saw you have a room meeting scheduled.”
And with that, you’re ushered out of Namjoon’s cosy office, left with more questions than you started with. Huffing as you sling your bag over your shoulders, you make the trek across campus back to the dorm, trying to muster a weak smile for the meeting you had coming up. 
Only for that smile to disappear completely when you check your calendar, seeing exactly who’d signed up for the slot.
Room 103. The football players’ room. Minho’s room. Could your luck be any worse?
Apparently, the answer to that was yes, because just as you lifted your fist to knock, the door opened, leaving you face-to-face with a smirking Minho.
“Just the person I wanted to see,” he drawls, the smirk fading when he sees you look past him at the wall, shuffling your feet. 
“Come in,” his voice softens, stepping aside to let you through. For a moment, he pauses behind you, and you can feel his breath fan the back of your neck.
“Listen, I just wanted to, uh–” he’s interrupted by a loud holler, one that wreaks havoc on your eardrums.
“Well well well, if it isn’t the girl-next-door!” Changbin comes into view, slinging an arm around Minho’s shoulder, before the other man scowls, brushing him off.
“Guys,” Chan’s captain voice has their heads turning, “I know you’ve all got a boner for the pretty RA, but she’s here doing her job.”
You could have sworn you saw Minho go pale.
Changbin snickers, but abides, plopping onto the couch, dragging Minho with him. That made three of them. But where was…
“Hyunjin,” the tall boy appears out of nowhere, his sharp eyes taking in your presence. For a moment, you wonder if he knows about you and Minho, but you shove the ridiculous thought from your brain. They were just guys, and you were just doing business as usual. Nothing to worry about.
“So guys,” you manage to get out. “I’m just here to talk to you about your expectations for each other this year as roommates.”
“Expectations?” Changbin throws up an eyebrow. “Yeah, like some ground rules you want to establish for the room,” you clarify. “As roommates.”
“We’ve been living together for three years at this point,” Hyunjin gives you a pointed stare. “I’m sure we have it down.”
You chew mindlessly at your lower lip, realizing that you aren’t getting anywhere with them. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Minho draped over the side of the couch, one leg dangling off onto the floor.
“Well,” the sudden addition of his voice shocks you, a small smile lighting up his face when catches you looking at him, “We obviously need to follow bro code.”
“Bro code?” You raise an eyebrow. You knew what it was, but that didn’t make you any less confused. 
There’s a sharp ow! followed by Hyunjin shuffling in the corner. Minho is gingerly nursing his arm, his eyes narrowing at his teammate.
“Pretty sure one of the rules of bro code is to never lie to your bros,” Hyunjin quips, casting a glance between you and Minho.
“Not lying! Okay! Okay, we can work with that —,” you straighten up, a grin on your face. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. 
“Especially not about girls you’ve slept with,” Changbin adds with a smug expression. 
Minho’s face immediately twists into a pained expression, and for a moment, everything is silent. You wonder if this is it, the moment where everything finally blows up in your face and the truth about what went over the summer is revealed.
“I’m so sorry, ____,” Chan gives you an apologetic look, standing up to usher you towards the door. “I’ll have a chat with them, and we’ll draw up a list of rules and send it your way by the end of the week!”
Everything happens so quickly, Chan’s hand on your back, the brief flash of Minho’s concerned eyes looking at you before the door closes, slamming shut.
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The rain patters against the window, making the fluorescent lighting of the common look even more bleak and grey than usual. You let out a heavy sigh. The dorm meeting should have been enough of a sign to you that very few people would be interested in the events you held this year. Now, you were alone, surrounded by far too many tubs of ice cream, and Felix was in class. 
Deciding to wallow in your sorrow, you pop open one of the tubs, scraping at the frozen top with a spoon, the sweet ice cream melting on your tongue.
“I told you, Jeongin, she just bought the ice cream to eat herself,” a voice at the door startles you, and you look over to see Seungmin beaming at you through the door. And he’s not alone. Jisung and Jeongin trail in after him, and your heart swells in relief at their presence.
“I thought no one would come.”
“And miss ice cream? Please, they’re either stupid or even more stupid for turning down free food,” Jisung chuckles, sliding up a few chairs next to you.
The three boys settle in, wasting no time digging into the ice cream, happily chatting about their days to you. Something about their presence makes the unbelievably rainy weather seem not so bad. You learn that Jisung and Seungmin are in the year below you, studying math together, and Jeongin, the poor freshman, was their random roommate.
“You guys are worse than the football players,” you chuckle when they explain their tactics of how they get Jeongin to run errands for them across campus.
“I think it’s cool how we have the players living here with us!” Jeongin’s eyes shine with excitement. “Do you think they’ll invite us to one of their parties?”
“We’re losers, Jeongin, in case you haven’t noticed,” Seungmin jokes, but his face is strained. 
“That’s not true, you’re currently my favourite people in the dorm,” you respond, watching Seungmin relax, and Jisung’s cheeks flush. “And those parties are lame anyway.”
So lame. Lame enough for you to sleep with one of those aforementioned players. 
You think back to the summer, memories flooding you. In your defense, you hadn’t even known Minho was a player. It was just a random party, full of random people neither you or Ryujin had known. And he’d been there, leaning against the wall, taking it all in quietly.
If you’d had any idea Lee Minho was one of those ever-loving frat boys on the football team, you might not have given him a second look. But then he’d smiled at you - a small one, soft but also teasing, and that was all it had taken for you to drift over, Ryujin smirking behind you.
The conversation flowed as easily as the drinks went down, the two of you managing to talk about nothing yet somehow also everything at once.
“You see,” Minho’s low voice rumbled in your ear, leaning in closer. You can smell the warm spice of his cologne, and it makes you even dizzier than the beer in your hand. “Those two definitely look like they’ve got some shit to sort through.”
“They’ll ignore it though,” you counter, watching Minho’s eyebrows raise. “Probably go upstairs and fuck instead.”
Minho’s jaw hangs open, and it takes a moment to process what you’d just said out loud – and how much of your own intrusive thoughts were contained within the simple statement. Looking over, his eyes have gone impossibly dark, their sole focus on you.
“Maybe we should follow them? Just to confirm.”
Those same dark eyes are now filled with a flicker, one that matches the flames building inside your chest.
Your thoughts are interrupted by the door to the common room swinging open, bringing you face to face with a flustered and panting Minho. His hair is windswept, and there’s a deep flush on the back of his neck. Raindrops plop, plop, plop onto the carpet as they drip from his clothes.
“Did I miss it? I came as quick as I could after class.”
His voice is hoarse and gravelly like he’s struggling to catch his breath after running for too long. 
“Miss what..?” You feel like the air has been knocked out of your lungs at his sudden appearance, completely missing the way Jisung, Seungmin, and Jeongin begin to shuffle behind you, whispering amongst themselves.
“You were hosting something? I tried to convince the other guys to come along.”
Your chest tightens at his admission. He paid attention to those egregiously long newsletters you spent hours making and mailing out to the floor? It makes you feel dizzy inside, a thousand tiny butterflies fluttering inside your chest. 
“Uhm, yeah of course! Help yourself, you know I just remembered I have something like really, really important to take care of for one of my classes,” the words tumble out in a rush, your cheeks burning at lie, but you honestly weren’t expecting to come face to face with Minho so many times in a matter days. 
“Hey Jisung, do you mind cleaning up after you guys are done? Please.” You shoot the other boy a desperate look, and his eyes go round, looking in between you and Minho, who remains at the threshold. He gives you a subtle nod, and you take it as your chance to escape, hastily slinging your bag over your shoulder. 
You feel Minho’s eyes on you while you brush past him and out the door, wondering why you’re the one shivering when he’d been caught in the rain.
. . . 
“Jisung, is it?” Minho sees the boy jump at the sound of his voice, his chair nearly toppling over from the shock. He looks in between a flustered Jisung, to the other two guys, who are equally surprised, their mouths hanging open.
It’s times like these where Minho remembers he’s not just any normal guy. Being a player for the Stray Kids came with its own headaches. He’d never gotten used to the stares. Or people becoming tongue-tied around him.
But you hadn’t been like that, he recalls. Talking to you had been easier than making a catch, the way your eyes lit up underneath the dim lights of the party and how your bubbly laugh remained burned in his memory for the entire summer. 
Minho wants to laugh at the thought of him hung up over some girl he’d fucked one time, but nothing could have matched the cold feeling that washed over him the moment he’d woken up to find you gone, the bed empty. And he found himself actually missing it - not the sex, but everything else. The laughing, the people watching, the inside jokes. 
Damn it, he was turning soft for you.
He stalks over to Jisung and his friends, plopping into the chair across of them. The three of them remain frozen in place, stiff as a board, and Minho lets out a loud groan.
“What do you want?” He raises an eyebrow, a smirk pulling at his lips when he sees the taller one cross his arms over his chest in an attempt to look intimidating.
“What do you mean?” 
“Do you want like, tickets to the game, fake IDs, weed? I can hook you up.”
“F-frat parties,” the younger one elbows him, voice barely above a whisper. “Tell him we want in on the parties.”
“The bigger question is, what do you want? I mean, why are you even talking to us?” “Can’t a dude just be nice to other dudes?” Minho grins, but the tall one is unwavering. He looks over to the one whose name he actually knew, Jisung, and judging by the way his eyes are still wide as saucers, and the manga he’s clutching to his chest, Minho knows he’s found a target who’ll fold.
“Is that Spy x Family? I love that one.”
“Y-you do?” 
“Yeah, I actually have all the volumes in my room? You could always come by if you wanted to borrow one.”
“I could?”
“Hmmm, only if I get to ask for your help with something.” “Anything!” the youngest one pipes up again, choking when the tall one hits him in the back. “We’ll do anything.”
And suddenly, Minho sees his in – these three dorks. Who despite knowing you for even less time than he has, have somehow managed to win over your heart. And he’d be next. 
“Well, let’s start with introductions first of all…”
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The 8am walk to your psychology class was one of your favourite parts of your schedule this semester. Campus was just waking up, birds were chirping, and you had time off to just think before getting swallowed by a sea of schoolwork and RA responsibilities. Except lately, your thoughts had been running wild - Minho in every corner, his tired, rain-soaked figure the other day making him look like a wet cat. A very cute wet cat.
You didn’t want to go down the rabbit hole of what it meant for him to show up like that – you didn’t want it to mean anything at all. The simple fact was that guys like Minho, and the rest of his teammates, barely ever gave a damn about anything that wasn’t pratice or their loud ragers. But he’d actually made an effort. 
Namjoon will be so happy I’m getting the team involved in dorm life, you stupidly rationalize the warm, fizzy feeling in your chest. I’ll have something to be proud of.
Trudging up the hill that takes you from the dorms to the heart of campus, you look through the cover of trees, the faint rays of sun peeking through them. In the crisp morning air, they look beautiful, and you sigh happily to yourself. You could romanticize this morning walk, even if your actual romantic life was in shambles.
You close your eyes for a bit, having committed the path to memory, and walk, walk, walk until suddenly — you’re colliding into a hard object, falling backwards through space. Before you can feel the impact of the ground, an arm is reaching out to steady you. A lean, muscular arm, filled with veins. Looking up through the sunlight, you see Minho’s face looking down at you.
“Are you okay?” he asks, a soft smile on his lips. “Why were you walking with your eyes closed?”
“Crap, you weren’t supposed to see that,” you turn away in shame. Were you going to be doomed to a whole school year of embarrassing yourself in front of him? 
“Hey, I’m not judging,” he holds up his phone, and you can’t help but laugh. A cat video is playing on the screen. “I’m glad you’re alright.”
“Thanks for catching me.”
“It’s kind of what I do,” he chuckles, another reminder of who he is. And who you are.
“Oh yeah.”
You don’t remember when you started moving again, but somehow, he’s right alongside you, facing backwards yet still matching you stride for stride. Looking around, you breathe in relief when you spot no one else around – being seen with Minho would definitely have people talking, and you weren’t sure if you could handle that right now.
“Can we talk about what happened over the summer?”
Minho’s voice is tinged with something you can’t pinpoint, taking on a weird sort of lilt. Could he possibly be nervous? Then again, what reason would he have to be nervous? He wasn’t the one with an entire reputation on the line right now.
“There isn’t that much to say, Minho. It shouldn’t have happened. I should have known better.”
Minho narrows his eyes at your statement, clearly taken aback.
“Oh my god, please don’t tell me you feel guilty because we live on the same floor now. There’s no way you could have known! I’m not holding it against you. Let me make it up to you – maybe we can have another shot, hopefully more sober this time.”
In your head, you know he’s right, and that you’re being completely irrational. But wouldn’t starting something now also be irrational, and falling into that very same trap you’d worked so hard to avoid.
“Look Minho, I’m really grateful that you forgive me. I know it was an asshole move, just disappearing like that. But whatever this is, I can’t do it right now. I promise if we run into each other I’m not gonna sprint off in the other direction, but I can’t date you. I can’t date anyone right now.”
You watch the way his shoulders completely deflate, rustling his backpack over his shoulder. More and more students have begun to slip out of their dorms, joining you on the main campus quad, and you know the conversation is over. For now. 
“Hey,” you whisper softly, watching Minho jump slightly at the sound of your voice. “Isn’t your econ class the other way?”
“Nah,” Minho stutters, and you watch his cheeks tinge red. “I dropped it. I’m taking a new one - fermentation sciences.”
“Fermentation sciences?”
“Yeah, you know in this economy, I wanted to learn how to brew my own alcohol,” he looks wistfully over at the science building. “I should probably get going.”
You watch him retreat wondering why you felt such a crushing wave of sadness when you’d been the one to shut it down in the first place.
. . .
Fuck! He was late. Minho knew he should have spent more time on cardio this summer, his heart pounding in his chest as he ran the other way across campus to the business building.
While part of him was relieved by your assurance that you harboured no bad feelings toward him after everything that him, another part of him was deeply unsettled. For some reason, he couldn’t let it end like this, the two of you just being people who resorted to acknowledging each other with a wave across campus.
The thought bothers Minho all through his econ class, and through football practice, Changbin’s obnoxious chuckle echoing in his ear.
“Fermentation Sciences? Really, dude?”
“Stop laughing, punk,” Minho grumbles. “It’s not like you could have come up with anything better.”
For all they knew, Minho was shamelessly flirting with the girl next door, and failing miserably. They didn’t know any of the history between you two - and Minho wanted to keep it that way, or else he’d never hear the end of it from his roommates.
Changbin grunts, his pass landing a little harder than usual. Minho makes the catch, the air wooshing out of his lungs.
“Lino,” Chan’s stern captain voice echoes from behind him. “It’s our final year. Are you really sure you won’t get distracted by this? It’s our final year.”
Minho sighs. He knew that this final season hinged on him having his head on straight - if not for his sake, for his teammates’. While he and Hyunjin had jobs waiting for them after graduation, Chan and Changbin were trying to make a career out of football. 
“Yeah dude, it’s nothing I promise.”
Defeat sinks into his bones, realizing that maybe you were right. Perhaps there wasn’t time to be distracted by anything, or anyone this year. Yet, as he strips off his jersey and slumps onto the players’ bench, he mellows in the one part of your statement that had given him a fraction of hope.
You hadn’t said “never”, just “not right now.”
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“Remind me why we’re here again?” Hyunjin groans, chewing the tip of his pen. In the corner, a group of students fall into hushed whispers at the sight of Stray Kids’ running back and tight end, hunched over pieces of paper. 
“Stop acting like you didn’t take an entire class on 18th century poetry last year and help me figure out what rhymes with perfect,” Minho shoves the end of the pen into his arm.
“Imperfect,” Hyunjin counters. “What the hell are you doing anyway? I thought we were supposed to be colouring for stress relief.”
“None of your goddamn business, Hwang,” Minho shuffles his paper towards himself, scribbling down the word, only to cross it out ten seconds later.
“Are you, are you writing a poem?” Hyunjin’s eyes go wide at the various words scribbled on Minho’s sheet. Beautiful, delicate, exquisite, perfect. A faint smirk tugs at his lips. 
Minho himself never thought he’d see the day where he put pen to paper in hopes of wooing someone, but it seems life had other plans. Because ever since you’d basically told him there was no chance of anything happening between you, it had made him unable to keep thoughts of you out of his mind.
He wondered sometimes if he was chasing his own ego, going after you just because you weren’t interested in him. But as he dwells on it more, he couldn’t remember the last time he was this determined to win someone over. 
“I have questions, many of them,” Hyunjin starts. “But I’ll start with one? Is this about–”
He flicks his head towards the front of the room, where you’re hard at work on your own drawing. Your sweater looks beyond soft and cosy, bringing out the colour of your eyes, and Minho feels a weird pang inside his chest when he hears you giggle; Jisung, Seungmin and Jeongin right next to you.
Those fucking punks. They were supposed to be helping him, and instead they were crowding around you? He’d probably have to cave and finally entice Jeongin with an exclusive invite to a frat party if he ever wanted things to work in his favour. 
“God, I having to fucking text Changbin about this,” Hyunjin drawls, only to yelp when his phone is swiped out of his hands.
“Send that text and you’ll wish I never looked in your direction, Hwang.”
“My question is when?” Hyunjin looks between you and Minho, lines of confusion marring his face, until realization dawns on him.
“Holy fuck? She’s the one? From this summer? I knew it!”
Minho feels like sinking into his chair and rueing the day he ever ran into Hyunjin on the way to try-outs, but he musters a weak nod.
“___? RA ____?”
“Will you quit asking questions?” Minho continues to scribble, growing frustrated when his pen begins to run out of ink, the four pages of ideas he’d come up with staring him dead in the face.
“Well you’re never gonna win her over if you keep comparing her lips to cherry cough medicine.”
“What would you suggest dumbass?”
“Maybe fucking cherries instead?” Hyunjin grabs the paper from him, shaking his head in exasperation. “Next time you want to pull this shit for a girl, please come to me first.”
“Hoping there won’t be a next time,” Minho looks over at you with a heavy sigh, watching the way Seungmin leans in close to point out something on his page to you.
“Just you watch and wait,” Hyunjin grabs the pen from him, and gets to work.
. . .
“Let me know if you’ll think about it,” Seungmin waves to you from across the room, clearing out with Jisung and Jeongin in tow, and you happily go back to colouring the bunny you’d started. Funny enough, the stress of the last few weeks had melted away, you and Felix easing back into your routine of daily dinners together in the dining hall. Along with new friends - the three younger boys inviting you over to their dorm for movies and video games.
A cough interrupts your thoughts, and you look up to see Minho stop in front of your table, awkwardly bouncing on the balls of his feet.
Guilt fills your chest when you realize you hadn’t even said hi to him, despite knowing he’d come with Hyunjin in tow the moment the previously quiet room had erupted into a faint din. 
“Hey,” you smile up at him, hoping it’ll put him (and you) at ease. “Thank you so much for coming.”
“No problem, uh, thanks for hosting,” Minho scratches the back of his neck, and you notice the piece of paper crumpled into his other fist.
“Did you have fun?”
“Fun? Oh yeah! It was super fun! I felt really calm,” the words spill out of Minho’s mouth awkwardly, and he’s begun to bounce on the soles of his feet.
“Are you sure it was calming? You can give me honest feedback you know. I won’t be offended.”
“Oh yeah, you know, I actually just remembered I have to go, but I wrote something down on this paper and it’s for you!” Minho launches the piece of paper at your desk before scurrying out of the room. Craning your neck, you see him run to Hyunjin in the hall, who claps him on the back.
Furrowing your eyebrows, you unfurl the paper, eyes widening when you see the exact “feedback” Minho had left. 
It takes everything within you not to laugh - the rhyme scheme is completely off, there are random flowery words that definitely look like they were pulled from the dictionary app, and the poem cuts off abruptly with a scribble. Yet somehow your heart is warm at the thought that Minho had sat there for an hour putting this together. For you.
Perhaps you’d underestimated Lee Minho after all.
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“I wonder whose idea it was to load a bunch of college-age kids dressed in stiff-ass clothes onto a bus that’s going who knows where, and to not even have alcohol to compensate” you mutter, smoothing over the skirt of your dress, the chilly winter air sending goosebumps down our spine.
“Don’t let the feds hear you say that, miss RA, but to answer your question, probably some prick at Oxford or something,” Seungmin appears by your side, offering up his jacket. You politely decline, grateful that he offered but also that he doesn’t press. Accepting his jacket would be too much of a romantic gesture for… whatever this was. 
“Just two friends hanging out,” Seungmin had reassured you when he’d asked you the other week… the same week you’d received the poem from Minho. The same one that has your heart doing backflips when you even think about it. The same one that’s currently smushed between the pages of your planner, bringing a smile to your face every time you open it.
You shake your head… trying to dispel thoughts of Minho from your mind. Seugmin was your date tonight. He deserved to have your attention. You deserved to not turn it into a miserable time for both of you because you couldn’t sort out anything in your life.
The bus ride helps take your mind off him, Seungmin happily chattering to you about how his year is going so far, and you stave off the chill all the way until the two of you get inside.
Unfortunately, that’s where it all goes downhill. Because the music is too loud, and there are too many bodies crowded on the floor, and you remember that going as dates involves, well actually acting like dates.
A few of Seungmin’s friends from the photography club find him in no time, suddenly swooping the two of you into the middle of the floor, and you’re led down a well-meaning, but incessant line of questioning. Seungmin shoots you an apologetic smile, happy to take the brunt of it for most of you, but it leaves an uncomfortable feeling in your chest nonetheless. Seungmin doesn’t say anything when you drift away quietly, leaving him with his buddies, and find yourself flitting at the fringe of the crowd. An eerie feeling crosses you, one that reminds you of the last time you were in this situation. Only this time the outcome wouldn’t be the same, because Minho wasn’t here. 
Mere months ago, you would have been fawning over the experience of finally attending a formal with a date, feeling like you were coming closer and closer to making the memories you craved. But you realized now that those had been empty hopes. Because memories weren’t about the experiences, but the people you shared them with. And you couldn’t deny what you and Minho had shared.
You don’t even realize you’ve stumbled outside until you’re plopping down onto a bench, hugging your knees to your chest, while fresh tears coat your eyelashes. A soft pair of footsteps echo behind you, and you turn to see Seungmin next to you, taking a seat.
“Y-you should go back inside,” you stutter, even more guilt settling in. “I’m sorry for being such an asshole and ruining your night.”
“Hey, you’re not an asshole. And I meant what I said, I didn’t expect anything from you, just two friends hanging out. But now you’re crying.”
Silence falls between you, and you think about how lucky you are to have a friend like Suengmin. Him, and Felix, and Jisung, and Jeongin. How much they care for you.
“You know,” Seungmin interrupts. “He’s not a bad guy. Lee.”
You whip your head around at Seungmin, not expecting him, of all people, to bring up Minho at a time like this. How did he even know him?
“Oh shush,” Seungmin sees the perplexed look on your face. “He comes over sometimes to watch anime. He’s pretty cool. He even said Jeongin might have a shot at trying out for the team next year.”
“What is my life?” you groan out loud. 
“I’m just saying, maybe you’re doing too much, trying to fight whatever it is you feel. Maybe he could be worth it. But you didn’t hear that from me.”
“I think what I need to do is catch the early bus back to campus,” you grumble, before softening. “You’ll be okay without me?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be fine, don’t miss me too much,” Seungmin grins. “Just sleep on it.”
“In your dreams, Kim.”
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You’re bounding off the bus faster than the driver can open the door, silently cursing yourself for not bringing a jacket, or at least stealing Seungmin’s. The straps of the way-too-high heels you’d chosen dig into your feet, sure to blister and leave you groaning the next morning, but to be fair, the headache had started long before you’d left your dorm room tonight.
It had started the moment Lee Minho had strolled through the door at that very first meeting, and secured a permanent spot dwelling inside there. And now he was befriending everyone you were friends with? You shiver at the potential implications of what Seungmin had revealed at the formal, surprised to find feelings lingering other than sheer annoyance. 
The wind nipping at your heels, you set off down the campus path, empty save for a few poor souls leaving the library after a study session, until you’re at the campus green, the large fountain that lights up the way to your dorm in plain sight. You feel relief overtake you at the sight, grateful that you could soon unwind and collapse onto your bed, given you had thinking to do. Lots of thinking. 
You’re almost across, the gurgling of the fountain audible in the distance, when a shadow emerges from the path to your right. A lone, slim figure in a blue letterman jacket, a large “S” emblazoned on the front. You think nothing of it until you see the accompanying “25 Lee” on the back, and suddenly you freeze. Only he does too, at the exact same time. 
You wonder if it’s too late to duck behind a bush, hiding under the cover of darkness, until you remember that near the fountain is the most well-lit area within a few hundred yards, the rest of the winding path completely blacked out. And Minho is already walking in your direction, even though you both know the way to the dorm is behind him.
He’s clad in sweatpants, his hair damp with sweat, and you wonder why he’s not freezing at this hour. But he’s probably looking at you and wondering the same thing.
“___, hey,” he shouts out, the grin onn his face growing when he actually looks at you, his jaw hanging open. “Wow, uh, you look good. Fancy event?”
“Oh yeah a date. I mean a formal. I mean I went to a formal. As a date. With Seungmin.”
Immediately, the grin fades, and Minho’s eyes grow impossibly dark. There’s a strange fluttering in your chest, and you’re overcome with the urge to clarify that it wasn’t a real date, that it didn’t mean anything, but nothing comes out, your throat impossibly dry. 
“Oh yeah, he mentioned something about that.”
“Yeah. I guess even RAs need to let loose once in a bit.”
“Did you? Let loose?” Minho raises an eyebrow, and you know that he knows that it’s too early to be wandering around campus, given most buses don’t come back until after midnight. 
“You caught me.”
“I told you, I’m good at that.”
Minho gestures to a bench, right in front of the fountain. You know you should say no, that you should run to the safety of your dorm. Because somehow, when you’re around Minho, the control you have comes crashing down. You feel reckless and effervescent, and you wonder if being drunk when you met him was to blame. 
When you take the seat next to him, you watch him smirk, and that’s when you realize the bench he’d picked out was the tiniest one, meaning you had no choice but to be pressed up right against him, feeling the warmth that emanates from him. You shiver again, hoping the cold can cover for you. 
“You cold?” Minho’s voice is a low rumble, moving to slip his jacket off his shoulders
“No, no I’m fine—”
He’s throwing it around your shoulders before you can finish protesting, his warm sandalwood and cedar fragrance enveloping you, and you burrow into it. Beside you, you can feel Minho’s faint breath fan against your neck, and you flush, turning away to look above you.
“It’s pretty out tonight, isn’t it?” You point above you. “You can see the stars.”
“Yeah, it is,” Minho’s voice is a heavy sigh, and you turn to find he’s not looking above at all. His dark eyes bore right into yours, a whole universe of emotion trapped within their depths, and you feel the fluttering in your chest begin again. 
His warm hand skims softly against your cheek, and you stop it with your own, pulling him away.
“Minho… what’s happening? What is this? Because if this is some kind of ego trip, or some sick joke with your teammates…”
“Can’t you see, damn it?” Minho’s expression turns dark, shadows dancing on his face. “I like you, ___. Ever since you walked out of that room this summer, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I keep running it over and over in my head, wondering what I could have done to fuck this up so badly, and how I can make it up to you every day.”
His voice is full of desperation, and you feel tears well up in your eyes at the sheer emotion captured in his rasp.
“Why?” Your voice is barely audible. “Why me?”
“I know we barely know each other, but everything I see about you, I like. The way you laugh, the quirky sweaters you wear, the way you take care of others. And everything I don’t know, I want to learn.”
Your head spins at his confession, at his earnestness, but while your heart is screaming at you to give in, your head can’t take the leap, holding you back from tumbling over the edge.
“Minho, I can’t. My job—” you watch the way his shoulders sag, knowing that you’re right. “I don’t want you to keep waiting for something that I may never be able to give you.”
“Friends then?” He squares his shoulders, his voice shaky, and you turn away, not wanting him to see the tears beginning to form in your eyes.
“Okay,” your voice is just as wobbly. Maybe it was better this way, knowing the distance would inevitably form when it was Minho’s turn to graduate next semester. This way things wouldn’t end badly - they’d just end when it was time.
“Well,” Minho stands up, offering you an arm. “As your friend, I can’t let you end what was supposed to be a fun night on a shitty note.”
He grabs your arms, slipping them into the jacket, before his hand is slipping in yours, the two of you walking up to the fountain. You know friends don’t hold hands, but you say nothing, the two of you staring at the clear water, coins glinting in its depths. 
“Make a wish,” he whispers. You look up, just in time to see a star shoot across the night sky, and close your eyes, wishing for everything to work itself out.
“And now we jump.”
“We what?!—” you whip your head around, but it’s too late, Minho is pulling you into the fountain with him, the cold water chilling you to the bone. Shivering, you stand up, cheeks burning and your soaked dress clinging to your body, watching Minho shake his wet hair from his eyes.
“You. Are. Crazy,” you huff out, laughter bubbling in your throat, and his eyes are twinkling, before he joins in, the two of you laughing until you’re wheezing. 
“You like it though,” he steps closer, his eyes raking over your body, heavy-lidded with desire. He leans over, almost in slow motion, your heart beating so wildly you almost forget how to breathe. You feel his lips ghost against yours, and for a moment everything is impossibly still—until laughter breaks through the silence, the voices of other students chattering behind you. 
Minho is pulling away, his eyes flickering towards the voices, and you hadn’t realized you were clutching his wet shirt. You peel your soaked bodies away from one another, Minho offering you his hand to help you out of the fountain, when all of a sudden the voices soften, indicating that the students were heading in the other direction. 
The walk back to the dorms is full of silence, both you and Minho trying to wrap your heads around what had happened in the fountain. It isn’t until he walks you to your door, the tormented look in his dark eyes the last thing you see before it closes behind you, that you realize you’d forgotten to give him back his jacket. 
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“Morning Lino,” Hyunjin pads out of his and Minho’s shared room, rubbing at his eyes. Minho grunts in response, turning his attention back to the eggs at the stove.
“You know some kid named Yang?” Hyunjin asks through a mouthful of cereal. “Came up to me the other day and said he couldn’t wait to sit in on our practice.”
Minho recalls his conversation with the eager freshman, who was bouncing up and down at the thought of being considered for the football team next year. Of course, what Jeongin didn’t know was that his happiness wasn’t even the cherry on top. It was seeing the dazzling smile on your face when the kid ran up to you to tell you all about it.
You’d looked over, seeing Minho lingering at the end of the hallway, and raised an eyebrow, to which he’d nodded, before promptly disappearing. This whole friendship thing was harder than he’d counted on. But he’d try his damn best. 
An hour later, he’s watching Jeongin run lines with Changbin, pausing every few minutes to work on some throws. A small smile forms on his face - Jeongin was a nice kid. And he would have never met him if it wasn’t for you. Minho thinks back to how different life would have been if he hadn’t run into you this summer. 
Even though he can’t put his finger on it, Minho feels like something’s changed. Before you, he’d never cared enough about anything to want to make an effort. Football was just something he did, relationships were something he never bothered with. Class was just class. But after meeting you, Minho wanted to be someone who was enough. Someone you could be proud of — to call a friend and maybe something more one day.
He feels the bench thud next to him, Hyunjin plopping down beside him. Hyunjin looks back and forth between him and Jeongin, realization glimmering in his eyes.
“He’s friends with her, right? Jeongin. That’s why you gave him a chance. You’re so fucking whipped.”
“If you’re gonna try to lecture me right now, please don’t,” Minho grumbles, knowing that behind Hyunjin’s sarcasm, he’s always willing to chew someone out when they’re doing something stupid. Like Minho is doing right now with you.
“That’s Chan’s job, not mine. I just hope you know what you’re doing.”
“It’s weird,” Minho blurts out, his own words surprising him. He thought he would have dropped the subject. 
But he finds himself opening up about you, the way he doesn’t know why, but you just make him feel, and how he doesn’t know what to do about it. The way you hold yourself back, and he doesn’t know how to move forward, because he’d be an asshole for overstepping the boundaries you’ve so abundantly made clear. How something with you was better than nothing at all.
And Hyunjin listens, gratefully, but Minho sees how his eyes dart over to Chan and Changbin and Jeongin. The season was still young. If he wasn’t careful, things could implode, not just for the team, but for you. 
He would have to find a way to figure this out. Or else, he could lose you for good.
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You hadn’t meant for it all to come spilling out. One minute, you and Minho were cool, agreeing to be friends. The next, his mouth was nearly on yours, and you were confused.
And now, you’re telling everything to Felix in the middle of breakfast. It might be the lack of coffee, or the fact that he’s just naturally baby-faced but Felix is wide-eyed, unable to keep his mouth from hanging open as you recall everything, from summer to now. 
When you’re finished, he crosses his arms, his eyebrows furrowing and your stomach drops. Well. You’d managed to make your roommate, also known as one of the nicest people in the world, upset with you.
“Listen, Lix, it’s not as bad as it seems,” you try to reassure him. “We’re cool now.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” Felix whines. “Does our friendship mean nothing to you?”
You feel guilty. You knew Felix was one of the first people who should have known. But honestly, you’d just bottled it up. Even Ryujin didn’t know much beyond you disappearing upstairs with Minho. You feared that the more you talked about it, the more real it would seem. Whatever it was, this thing that you and Minho had. 
“I never asked to hook up with a football player Felix,” you groan, taking care to keep your voice down. “I never asked for him to be my neighbour, let alone my actual responsibility. But that’s just what it comes down to. Responsibility. I have a job to do, and being involved with Minho goes against everything that it stands for.”
“___, you’re human too,” Felix offers you the cookie from his plate, and you accept it, chomping down. “You don’t have to be perfect all the time.”
“I just thought this year would be different. I thought I’d have everything figured out, and that whatever I experienced would be fun. But now I’m just stuck with this. A mess.”
Felix’s jaw tenses, like he’s lost deep in thought. 
“Do you regret it?” Panic lights your eyes at his question. Because it was one you’d never considered. You’d spent so long trying to push Minho away, creating false distance in between you two, when the reality was, it’d never existed in the first place.
All you wanted was to be closer to him. You wanted to learn the same things about him that he wanted to learn about you. You wanted to know what it actually would feel like if he kissed you in front of the fountain.
“No” you manage to breathe out with a sigh. “I don’t. But it still doesn’t change anything.”
“It could,” Felix counters.
Head spinning, you find your appetite has disappeared. You watch Felix look at you with concern as you bid him a half-hearted bye, telling him you’ll see him later. 
Maybe you couldn’t lie to yourself about Minho anymore. But you couldn’t do anything about the truth except live with it. 
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You thought Namjoon believed in you enough to not stick you on RA duty during your birthday, but apparently not. So, you’d guiltily waved goodbye to Felix, telling him to go celebrate in your honour, and you’re curled up on the couch, notebook in hand, trying to review your reading for the week. 
A few hours pass, in which you change the way you’re sitting numerous times, get up to take a water break at least every seven minutes, and are finally situated and focused enough to accomplish, but then the thumping starts. 
At first you’re confused. Was someone working out? Did someone set up a bowling alley? Both of those explanations seemed more plausible until you actually listened for the source of the noise. It was coming from right next to you. 
Room 103.
You groan. Of course they’d be having a party. The semester was new, and what else did football players do on a Saturday night? 
Unfortunately, that also meant it was on you to stop it. And deal with the aftermath of ruining the night of a bunch of salty students. You breathe a heavy sigh, running through countless scenarios in your head to avoid going over. You could just keep studying, maybe bake a batch of brownies. But each one of those scenarios is ruined by none other than Kim Namjoon. His voice drones on in the back of your mind, waxing poetic about how with great power comes great responsibility. The man needed to stop rewatching so many Spider-Man movies. 
Throwing your notebook to the side, you throw on a cardigan, shuffling over to Minho’s apartment. The cacophonous bass reverberates even from outside, and you give a timid knock, unsure if anyone will be able to hear you. 
It takes a few moments, but eventually, the door swings open, the gleeful eyes of Seo Changbin taking in your presence at the door.
“I, uhm, I’m here to uh,” you barely get a sentence out before you’re being swept inside, Changbin’s bellowing laugh echoing behind you. “Look who joined us!” Changbin shouts, and a few heads turn to look in your direction. You catch a couple of questioning looks, one of the being Hyunjin, but for the most part, your presence is ignored.
“Any chance we can get you up on one of the tables?” Changbin offers you a drink, gesturing to the living room. You shake your head, backing up against wall of the entryway.
“Listen, I can’t stay, I just came to –”
“___? What are you doing here?” A voice sounds from behind you, and you turn to see Minho looking at you, shock on his face. 
You gulp. You’d hoped you wouldn’t have to run into him tonight, that it would be a quick in and out. Once the party was shut down, everyone would go home in a sour mood, maybe Minho would hate you for it, and you’d be able to get over your feelings for him in peace.
“Leave her alone, Bin,” Minho chastises his roommate, who’s still trying to goad you for a drink. And then he grabs you by the hand, pulling you further into the lion's den.
The first thing you notice is the sheer heat. Not only are there dozens of bodies crowded up against each other, but it’s Minho himself. He maneuvers you through the crowd, keeping you close to him, and it makes you dizzy. Through the stench of beer and sweat, his cologne peeks through, spiking your body temperature even more.
You don’t know where Minho is leading you, but eventually you two end up near the end of the hallway, bypassing many loud conversations and couples making out, until you stumble upon a series of closed doors. Your face burns when you realize it’s their rooms.
“I need to go,” you say quickly, turning on your heel. “I shouldn’t even be here, this shouldn’t be happening.”
“Hey,” Minho rests a hand on your shoulder. “I just wanted to bring you somewhere quieter, where you wouldn’t be overwhelmed.”
“Oh,” you breathed out, heart soaring at the touching gesture. “Still, I should…”
“Can’t you stay for a bit?” Minho begs, his sparkling eyes meeting yours, and you’re unable to do anything but nod yes.
“Lee! How you doing man?” a voice bellows from far away, and you notice Mingyu, one of the forwards on the soccer team, walk up and high-five Minho, slapping him on the back. “Who’s your friend?”
Mingyu’s eyes do a once over, eyebrows furrowing at your sweatpants and cardigan, before looking quizically at Minho. 
Minho draws a hand around your waist, coming to rest protectively on your hip. His palm burns through the thin fabric where your tank top ends, keeping you tight to his body.
“This is ___. If you don’t mind, we’re kind of busy.”
Mingyu rolls his eyes, smirking as he disappears in the crowd. That’s when you notice Minho’s leaning back against one of the door frames, his hand resting on the door knob.
“Wanna talk in my room?” he asks softly. And it doesn’t sound sleazy or gross. It sounds earnest. Despite the party raging around him, he hasn’t left your side since you showed up, as if he could feel the anxiety coursing through you. As if he’s telling you he’s got you.
“Or I could walk back with you to your room. Whatever you want.”
“W-we can talk,” you say nervously, fisting the side of your cardigan. Somehow, the idea of returning to your notebook seems wholly unappealing. “Just for a bit.”
“Okay,” he opens the door, leading you in.
. . .
The first thing you notice about the room is that it’s surprisingly clean. For a guy’s room anyway. There are a few stray articles of clothing strewn on the chair, but there’s also a neat stack of books, and a bunch of photo frames on Minho’s desk. One in particular catches your eye.
You pick it up, a smile breaking out onto your face at the photo of Minho, star running back, crouched up to three tiny cats.
“Soonie, Doongi, and Dori,” Minho’s voice echoes behind you. “I adopted them when I was in middle school.”
“I didn’t take you for a cat person,” you giggle.
“There’s a lot about me you don’t know,” Minho takes the frame from you, setting it back in place. His voice sounds distant, like he’s thinking too hard.
“Tell me about yourself,” you blurt out without thinking, watching Minho’s eyes widen in surprise. You realize that you barely knew anything about him, while he’d worked so hard to know you, and his words from the night of the formal echoed in your brain. 
Everything I see about you, I like. And everything I don’t know, I want to learn.
You learn that Minho lives twenty minutes away, something you hadn’t expected. And that he goes home to visit his parents every other weekend, checking up on his cats. You learn football is just something he plays for fun – he’s not super serious about it like Chan or Changbin, but he stayed on the team because they’re his friends. You learn he likes fishing, but also pulling pranks on people. He’d nearly convinced Jisung that they cancelled Spy x Family the other week, and the poor boy had believed him before Minho had to chase him down with a bag of chocolate covered pretzels from the campus cafe and apologize. You learn that Lee Minho is so much more than you ever thought he could be, and that you feel more for him than you could have ever imagined, the realization giving you goosebumps.
“Hey,” Minho pokes you in the ribs. “You zoned out. Everything okay?”
No, everything was not okay. You wondered if he noticed how you’ve gone completely still next to him, your breathing shallow. Minho’s eyes have darkened, filled with an emotion you can’t possibly name, but something you want to believe in. And for once, you want to lose control, and fall off the edge together.
“Kiss me,” you whisper, heavy gaze dropping to his lips. Minho freezes, but doesn’t back away.
“Fuck,” he huffs, heavy breaths filling the space between you. “You sure?”
“Please,” you groan, closing the distance so your lips ghost over his. Minho finally snaps, bringing his mouth to yours, groaning against your lips. You bite back a moan as he nips your bottom lip. The sound stirs him, and with a hard squeeze to your thigh, he’s backing you onto the bed below him. Heart pounding, the look in his eyes is dangerous, sending chills down your spine.
“Let me make you feel good,” he breathes against your forehead. 
You’re unable to do anything but whine in response, watching as he pushes your tank top up to undo the ties on your sweatpants, fingers digging into your hips while he pulls the fabric down, taking your underwear with it. His mouth peppers rough kisses down your throat and into your cleavage, leaving splotches of crimson and violet as he grazes his teeth in every spot his lips meet. 
“Tell me you want this,” he asks, eyes searching yours. 
“Yes,” you groan, head swimming. “I want this, want to feel you, please-”
Your pleas are cut off swiftly as he slips two fingers inside of you, dragging them against your walls with a low sigh.
“Fucking hell, you’re so wet. Is this all for me?” 
“Only for you,” you whine, completely lost to what is coming out of your mouth.
“You’re so beautiful, fuck, been thinking about this for so long,” Minho hisses when you gush around him, arousal dripping down his wrist.
You feel yourself flutter at his words, throwing your head back while reaching over to swipe your fingers through his sweaty hair. You tug at the back of his shirt, and he pulls it over his head, his shaking hands slipping the cardigan off your shoulders and tugging the straps of your tank top.
Looming over you, he engulfs your nipple in his mouth, and you gasp sharply when he bites down with his teeth, swirling his tongue over it quickly to soothe your reddened skin. But Minho doesn’t stop there, his lips trailing all over you, unable to stop kissing you. 
It’s a thousand times stronger, more intimate than the time from the summer, the feelings that have built between you mounting and mounting until they’re an inferno. 
The first press of his tongue against your folds has you squirming as you desperately rock your hips against his mouth. Your knees buckle around him as he works you with his tongue, fingers dipping lower and lower until they press right against where you need him most. Feeling a harsh suck to your clit, you moan loud enough that you’re sure that anyone who’s outside can hear you. But you don’t care, reveling in what it means to let him in.
Just as you’re about to let go and surrender yourself completely, Minho’s fingers retreat, leaving you clenching around nothing. You open your lips, ready to protest, but Minho cuts you off, stuffing his fingers inside your mouth.
“Suck,” he commands, and you’re left breathless, unable to do anything but comply while wetting the digits, tasting yourself.
“Need to see you come while I’m inside you,” Minho slips off the rest of his clothes. You feel your mouth go dry when his cock springs free, and he chuckles at the depraved look in your eyes, before pushing his cock completely inside, leaving you reeling at the stretch.
“Please, move,” you beg, and he obliges. Fucking you slowly like he never wants to forget this moment. His strong arm slips around your waist, lifting you up against his chest and his lips find yours again, tongue licking into you to steal the moans that escape you, head dizzying at the change in position.
“Minho, fuck, I’m going to come, please wanna so bad,” you whine, feeling lightheaded with ecstasy. Reaching down, Minho rubs tight circles on your clit, messy slick coating his fingers until you feel yourself snap, gushing around him.
“Cum for me ____,” he breathes against your neck.
That’s what does it, pushing you overboard, wetness gushing from you as you moan his name. Minho speeds up his thrusts to join you, groaning when he feels himself explode, before slumping against you, chest heaving with the weight of his breaths.
His sweat soaked bangs are messy, covering his eyes, and his fingertips skim across your cheek, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“Stay with me?” he blurts out, head ducking in embarrassment at the silly statement. “I mean, not like that, just..”
And you sigh, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him closer to you, burying your head in the crook of his shoulder, soft breath fanning his damp skin. 
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Dawn spills into Minho’s room, and you sigh, careful not to wake a snoring Minho. He’d fallen asleep quickly, but you’d been unable to do the same, tossing and turning beside him. What scared you was how much regret you didn’t feel over what had just transpired. How much you wished you could just give in and let it happen again. 
But you couldn’t. Not only had you completely broken the pact to be just friends with Minho, but you’d also completely forgotten about the entire reason you’d even come here last night, the forgotten responsibilities of your job weighing heavily on you.
Rising, you carefully pick up your clothes, throwing them on quickly. You feel Minho stir softly, before he’s stretching, rubbing at his eyes.
“Morning,” his voice is low and raspy, but also completely content. A sharp contrast to the torment you currently feel. “Wanna grab breakfast?”
“Minho,” your voice is bleak, and you watch his figure slump. He’d fucked up. You both had.
“Last night should have never happened. And I know that if we keep doing this, spending time with each other, it’ll happen again. But I can’t. I have a job, I have responsibilities, and they’re important to me.”
You know the words cut deep, because you also know you’d give them all up in a second to wake up to him again, to feel his lips on yours. 
Minho’s expression is blank, watching you scurry around the room to pick up your stuff. You knew the moment you walked out of there, there’d be no going back, even to being friends.  
It breaks your heart even more when he doesn’t move to get up and help you, watching you instead with devastated eyes. 
But you also knew you couldn’t turn around and look back at him, because you’d drop everything and stay.
. . .
The sun is too bright, hurting your eyes as you walk to the dining hall, what feels like chalk settling in the back of your throat. You feel like you’re battling the worst hangover of your life, despite not having a single drink last night, and you were so grateful Felix was still asleep when you’d slipped inside.
You’d let everything slip out of control, and now your life was spiralling. For a brief moment, you wondered if you should just accept the guilt for everything, leaving Minho behind and handing in your resignation. But then you realized how stupid that sounded, leaving you with nothing.
You swing the heavy door to the dining hall open, not even noticing the figure on the other side until you’re falling backwards. You catch the door just in time, looking up to be met with the tall figure of Kim Namjoon. And he doesn’t look happy.
“___, my office, now.”
. . .
Namjoon rubs in between his eyebrows, his expression darting in between you and the door. Your heart is pounding, fear taking over, even though you already know that whatever is happening cannot be good.
“____, when I chose you for this position at the beginning of the year, it was because I saw so much potential in you,” he begins, his voice trembling. “I thought you’d never do anything to upset me, to disappoint me.”
The word disappoint tells you everything you need to know, and tears begin to prick at the corner of your eyes. Of course there would have been wandering eyes at the party last night. Of course someone would have recognized you, seen what you were doing, and said something to Namjoon. You couldn’t believe you’d been so stupid.
“Getting involved with a resident is a blatant violation of the responsibilities that have been entrusted to you as a resident assistant. Furthermore, you failed to act and de-escalate a situation that was a clear violation of the student code of conduct.”
“I didn’t mean to,” you cry out, hoping Namjoon will rethink everything. “It was a mistake. I’m sorry.” 
You watch his eyes flash with hurt at your pleading, but you know from the despondency in his expression there’s nothing you can do.
“I’m sorry, ____ but I have to report this to the advisory board. They’ll deliberate, but as of right now, you’re suspended, and it’s very likely you won’t be invited back next year. Karina will fill in for you in the meantime.”
He stands up, before leading you out gently. “I wish there was more I could do.”
You’re unable to say a word, slipping your coat over your shoulders and ducking your head to try to hide the tears that won’t stop flowing. You wonder if you should try harder, plead your case, but you know that the fault was entirely yours. 
Looking up, you see Jisung, Seungmin and Jeongin walk into the dining hall, laughing to each other, and duck behind a corner, your appetite completely gone. Taking off, you run as fast as you can, not stopping until your feet lead you back to the dorms.
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Campus in the springtime is a sea of pink - the light, delicate hue of cherry blossoms creating a canopy on the ground, filling up the pathway to the fountain. But their beauty is lost on Minho, who sits by the fountain, staring blankly at the gurgling water. 
Two months. It’d been two months since you’d ended things, rushing out of his room. Two months since you’d chosen responsibility over him. Minho wanted to be angry, wanted to hate you. But he just felt empty instead. 
He’d tried talking to everyone – Jisung, Seungmin and Jeongin had no idea what happened to you. Felix would only glare at him in anger from across campus, and he wonders if he’d broken your heart just as bad as you’d broken his. As if somehow that would make him feel better, knowing you were in just as much pain as him. But it didn’t.
His own teammates saw how everything ached for Minho, from him burning his breakfast to failing to catch the simplest of throws. And they were worried. But Minho couldn’t fix this – he couldn’t go back to how the two of you had been before. Because in reality, there’d never been a chance for the two of you to begin with. He realized it now. You were just too different. 
And yet it hadn’t stopped him from falling in love with you. He’d finally figured it out, when it was far too late. He was in love with you – the way you made him feel alive, like the world was full of possibilities. Only for it all to come crashing down.
“Hey dude,” Chan’s soft voice comes from next to him, taking a seat on the bench. “You okay?”
“Hanging in there, old man,” Minho musters a weak smile, but it falters, and Chan immediately notices. Minho looks at his friend, who can’t stop looking around at who’s passing by, and he realizes he’s keeping a secret.
“Spill,” Minho commands, and Chan furiously nods no.
“Lino, we have our last game soon, you need to stay focused…”
“Say it,” Minho hisses through his teeth, because he knows that whatever Chan is hiding it’s about you.
The words come spilling out before Chan can stop them, and Minho takes them all in, everything suddenly becoming clear.
. . . 
The roar of the buzzer echoes in Minho’s ear,  along with the deafening sound of the crowd, and suddenly he’s being dogpiled by his teammates. Hyunjin and Changbin are screaming in his ear, the school fight song is blaring, but time slows for Minho, and he focuses on none of it.
Everything moves too quickly, the fans rushing from the stands, spilling out onto the field and campus beyond. Minho is being pushed, his heartbeat pounding in his ears, until the locker room appears behind him. He’s stripping off his jersey, hitting the showers while his teammates erupt into joy around him. Minho lets the water drip off him, bracing himself against the wall, heavy breaths escaping him.
The win didn’t feel like a win at all. Not with the guilt that resided in his chest ever since he’d spoken to Chan a week ago. Minho knew the celebrations would go all night, the liquor would keep flowing, that all bets were off and every rule could be broken. But he didn’t care about any of that.
All he knew was that tonight, while campus erupted into a riotous celebration, he needed to find you.
He ignores Hyunjin’s protests while he slips out of the locker room, Chan holding his other teammates back. Minho throws a hoodie on, and steps out into the night air.
The first thing he notices is the swarm – there are people everywhere, screams echoing in his ears. Then it’s the pandemonium - banners strewn on the ground, the blare of an air horn in the distance, the blaze of what he’s pretty sure is a firework. 
People line up around him as he moves through the crowd, pushing his way through overzealous fans, and overeager sorority girls offering him a victory kiss. He throws his hood up, ducking his face so that no one else can catch him, setting off to the emptier part of campus.
Eventually, the crowd dies down as he draws closer to the dorms, everyone out celebrating on the main green. Minho walks down the path he’s become so familiar with this year, the familiar sound of the fountain welcoming him.
He knew he’d find you here. Your eyes are turned away from him as you sit on the edge, aimlessly dragging your hand through the water.
“Not gonna celebrate?” He watches you jump at the sound of his voice, quickly rising up.
“Congrats, I’m sure it was a great game,” you whisper, but you’re backing away, and Minho can’t let you leave.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Minho interrupts you, resting his arm on yours, and he watches your eyes meet his, so much pain contained within them when you realize he knows.
“It wasn’t your fault, it was mine,” you counter, looking down at the fountain. 
“That’s such crap, they let you go for that?”
“They let me go because I broke the rules, Minho. I deserved it.”
Minho lets out a heavy sigh, watching you shiver in the cold, and he slips off his hoodie. You dodge it, the two of awkwardly dancing around each other, before accepting it, sinking into the feeling of Minho’s warmth. 
“You’ve gotta stop letting me steal your jackets, I’ve already got a rap sheet,” you joke, but Minho doesn’t smile.
“I’m so fucking sorry, ___.” He says looking out onto the campus. “We really fucked things up, didn’t we?”
“Maybe this is how it was supposed to be,” you tell him. “You know, I was reading up on things, and I learned that sometimes, stars collide, and then they just collapse into dust. Like nothing else happens – they’re together one moment, and then the next, remnants of the collision float through the universe.”
Minho watches your breath come out in heavy puffs, and mind wanders back to the stars on the night he’d almost kissed you in the fountain.
“Can I have one more memory then?” He asks, intertwining his fingertips with yours, pulling you close to him, watching you nod before closing the distance in between you two. 
Sparks explode across your skin when he kisses you, your hands swinging around his neck. You sway from the wash of emotions that come over you, and Minho’s hands are there, steadying you as you break apart, rubbing his cheek against yours and pressing tiny kisses all the way from your temple to your hair.
Eventually, the sound of the crowd draws closer, and Minho watches you pull away, holding out his hoodie in his hands. Taking it, he watches you retreat, wondering if there’d ever be a time where the universe would let you find each other again to pick up the pieces.
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Sighing, you tape up the last box, pushing it to the side before collapsing on the couch. The end of the semester had come quickly after the raucous football celebrations, everyone in campus on a high. 
Surprisingly, you’d dealt with the pain pretty well, settling into a new routine after being let go. Felix had been your biggest support, allowing you to cry into his shoulder as much as you wanted, baking plenty of brownies to keep you from descending into too deep of a depression.
Eventually, you’d learned to just let the wound scar over. The night of the game with Minho had provided you with closure in the best way possible, confirming to you that life had had its own plan for you all along. Thought, from time to time, you mind still lingered on the kiss the two of you had shared – for a moment, you’d thought that it could have meant something, but maybe that was your lesson – learning to take things as they were, because the more expectations you’d had, the more things fell apart.
A gentle knock interrupts your train of thought, and you walk over to the door, opening it up to find none other than Namjoon on the other side. Confused, you let him in, silence falling in between you while you wait for him to speak.
“____, I’m so sorry, MInho told me everything,” Namjoon blurts out, and his words have you reeling. What did he mean?
“He told me how he was the one to overstep the boundaries of your job and how you tried to stop it, I knew I shouldn’t have doubted you. The board says you can stay on for next year!”
You remain frozen in place, unable to speak or even think, before the overwhelming urge to find Minho comes over you.
“Namjoon, I’m sorry but I need to go right now.” 
And then you rush out the door.
. . . 
The door to room 103 is propped open with a six-pack, and you resist the urge to roll your eyes as you barge in, Hyunjin’s surprised figure greeting you right behind the door.
“_____? What the hell?”
“No time to talk, Hwang,” you push past him. “Where is he?”
“Where is who?”
“You know damn well who I’m talking about.”
Hyunjin pauses, before nodding his head towards Minho’s room, the subtle smirk never leaving his face as he watches you bound towards the door.
“LEE MINHO!” your shrill voice causes Minho to drop the book he was packing on his foot, and you smile as you watch him jump around, swearing under his breath. 
“____? What are you doing here…”
“How dare you!” Minho groans when you punch him in the arm. “I cannot believe you did that.”
“Damn it, I swore that Namjoon man to secrecy,” Minho chuckles, a whoosh of air leaving him when you suddenly throw your arms around him, burying your face into his neck. “You. Are. Crazy,” you whisper into his hair, feeling him smile against you while he pulls you closer, rubbing his hands on your back.
“You like it though,” he smirks. 
“I love it,” you correct him, watching his grin go from tentative to ear-splitting. “Namjoon said you were suspended from the team though. I’m confused, isn’t this your last semester?”
“Well,” Minho blushes. “I may have to stay an extra one. Just to sort everything out, you know.”
“Jeongin will be so thrilled to have you on the team with him,” you giggle, kissing the corner of his mouth. 
“And you?”
“I’m gonna need a re-do of that love poem you wrote me. Byron would be rolling over in his grave.”
“I don’t know who the hell that is.”
“Good thing you have time to learn then.”
“So,” Minho grabs your hand nervously. “My parents brought Soonie, Doongi and Dori with them. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to introduce them to my girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend?” you ask him. 
“Oh I’m sorry would you prefer twin planet? Or shining star?”
“Watch it Lee.”
Minho wastes no time dragging you out the door with him, Hyunjin waving the two of you off. Stepping out into the sunshine, you see two figures in the distance waving to Minho, and you smile, the collision that had once steered you off course finally leading you and Minho back on the path where you both belonged. With each other.
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a/n pt. 2: they are so getting married btw! As always, any feedback or comments are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi 💜
tagging: @mal-lunar-28
424 notes · View notes
python333 · 8 months
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Hello!! I absolutely adore your 141 platonic fics, I litterlay giggle and kick my feet when you post new storys about it. Especially since they're always gender neutral! Litteraly always check to see if youve posted a new fic, but anways!
I'm a really big sucker for found family mental health fics, especially when I'm experiencing rough times. If your comfortable with it, I was wondering if you could make the 141 catch Reader self harming or maybe just seeing the self harm on their arms accidentally and comforting them. Always love a comforting found family fic on cold nights.
If it's easier, I really love really any of your hurt/comfort type 141 fics with all my soul and eat them up anytime you post them. Especially since there isnt much gn!reader and TF 141 platonic hurt/comfort fics. So if you aren't busy than that's another option I would love to see!!
If your uncomfortable with it then that's fine and you can just ignore this post! Make sure to take care if youself aswell author. You're absolutely amazing! 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
self-slaughter — python333
— — — —
synopsis reader is a medic and is caught harming themselves by the 141 in the medbay!
relationships platonic!taskforce 141 & gn!reader
characters cap. price, soap, ghost, gaz.
word count 6.6k
warnings self-harm [specifically using a scalpel], self-harm scars, dark thoughts [nothing too bad, but thoughts of pulling off your skin and harming yourself], painful wound cleaning [with iodopovidone], 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself], usage of c/n [code name/call sign].
note hello anon!! i too am a big sucker for found family mental health fics, and completely understand this request, and i will happily write it for you!! a lot of this is based on my own experiences with this, so i hope that's okay and that you enjoy the fic!! as well as this request, i'll use this fic as an excuse to write a few prompts on my bad things happen bingo card, which will be displayed at the end of the fic! the prompt used will be: painful wound cleaning! expect wayyyy more angst after this LMAO. also, if this feels like glorification or anything else inappropriate for a fic like this, then please let me know! since it's mainly based on my own experiences, i assume it wouldn't feel *too* much like that, but still!
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It gets kind of old after so long of doing it. 
Almost like it’s a chore—as if stealing glances at your medical equipment, tools meant to save the lives of others, and wishing that it were being used to draw blood from your body was just an inconvenience. You complain about it in your head like you used to about school, like it was nothing more than some homework that was due a minute before midnight. 
Right now, you’re alone in the medical bay. It wasn’t often that you were, typically two bumbling idiots would stumble in every few minutes talking about how they got injured while sparring, but for the past thirty minutes it’s been silent. While you appreciated the break from the constant explanations of why the soldiers you were to tend to had gotten injured, with the silence came very unwanted thoughts. 
And with nobody to focus on came your unwilling lingering stare at the sharp scalpel on the small metal equipment cart that was just a few feet away from where you sat. It didn’t help that you felt oddly guilty today, either. 
Well, the guilt wasn’t odd. You knew where it came from. It just felt odd, considering the cause for it happened a week ago. 
The cause had been on a critical mission last week, where you were responsible for carrying medical supplies and ensuring the team’s well-being and general health. The medical equipment wasn’t particularly expensive or hard to get, but it was still incredibly important. 
However, on that same mission, right towards the end of it, you’d been caught in the midst of an intense gunfight. Distracted by the heavy enemy fire, you dropped the small bag you’d been using to carry the medical supplies, and hadn’t noticed you did until it was too late. By the time you and the others were out and heading back to base, you had just realized you left behind the medical equipment. 
All week, your fellow task force members had reassured you that it was okay and that it wasn’t that big of a deal, considering nobody got hurt. Still, even a week later, you’re hung up on it. Had someone gotten injured, what could you have done? You didn’t have any supplies to help them, so what would you have done then? Just the thought of that possibility makes you shudder. 
The scalpel looks so tempting.
It’s not like you hadn’t used it before—you have the scars to prove you had, ranging from small lines that could be mistaken for cat scratches to tiger-stripe length cuts that make your thighs look as though they’d been mauled by a large animal. As elegantly as you describe them in your head, the visuals of them aren’t nearly as pretty. With the help of that scalpel, a few sharp needles, and some medical scissors, you’d successfully made it look as though a bear had tried to attack you and tear your legs off. 
Ironic, isn’t it? A medic harming themselves? 
Your job is to literally save the lives of others, and here you are, staring at the closest thing you have to a knife in the medbay. It’s become as easy as blinking for you—which is scary, honestly, the way you’ve developed a tolerance for cutting yourself and stapling your skin back together if you’ve cut too long or deep. 
It’s no longer enough to just scrape something sharp across your skin and watch blood bubble up from the broken seams of your flesh, no, now you have to cut even deeper to actually feel anything. You have to feel the scalpel being buried to the hilt in your flesh, and you have to see the way blood spurts out of the self-inflicted wound after you pull out the tool. 
You continue to stare at the scalpel, sure that you look like you’re in some sort of trance right now. 
It looks so tempting. You can remember the last time you used it—three days ago, the longest you’d gone without it in a while. Similar to cigarette-addicts, you often tell yourself that you’re able to stop whenever you’d like—that you’re able to quit at any time. It’s a lie, and you know it, but you still like to pretend that it’s true. 
You’re still staring at the scalpel. 
Its sharpened edge reflects the overhead light, creating a bright glow that strains your eyes when you stare at it for too long. The metal of the handle is worn down from use, even though it’d only been in the medbay for maybe a few months—something nobody had questioned yet, thankfully. The clean blade, replaced just yesterday, had no traces of filth or grime on it, making it even more tempting. 
You blink. You hadn’t noticed the burning of your eyes until you forced them away from the small knife. 
You move your gaze to your lap, where you fiddle with your fingers, gently tugging at a hangnail that’s been lingering on your thumb for the past few minutes. As you pull on it, you feel the sting that it brings, though that sting now feels dull compared to the other things you’ve done to yourself. 
It almost feels like a small pinch compared to the ways you’ve mutilated your thighs on certain nights that didn’t allow you the energy to do anything else, or the ways you’ve carved apologies in the forms of lines into your arms to try and gain forgiveness for your thoughts and temptations. 
You pull the hangnail off completely and watch the miniscule droplets of blood bleed through your flesh and meet your skin and nail. Before you only had the energy to do your job and harm yourself, you would’ve hissed at the sting pulling off the small bit of skin caused you and grabbed a bandaid immediately, but now, all you can think about is how it isn’t enough. 
About how much better you’d feel if you pulled all your skin off. If you could feel every inch of your skin stretched to its limits and torn off of your body, because God knows you deserve it. 
The thought makes you wince. That is… disgusting. Why am I thinking about that? You shake your head in hopes that it would shake away the dark thought, but instead the action makes it rattle inside your brain and break off into tiny bits in pieces, small unwanted thoughts of wounding your flesh rolling around your mind. 
Similarly to Sisyphus and his boulder, you try to push those thoughts out of your mind, your hands starting to curl into tight fists, but you just can’t. Every time you push a thought back, it comes rolling back to the forefront of your mind, the momentum it gets from being pushed back so far only to get rocketed forwards making it even more unbearable to think about. 
The fists your hands have formed become tighter. 
Each thought that gets pushed back only jumps forwards once again, ricocheting around your brain, the effort of trying to ignore them making your ears ring. 
Before you realize it, your gaze snaps back to the scalpel. 
You don’t even notice the blood that begins to spill from your palms from how deeply your nails cut into your skin. 
Every thought tries to be louder than the other, creating an unholy cacophony of sound; a terrifying harmony that only grew louder every second that passed. You stare at the scalpel. It continues to reflect the bright gleam of the overhead light, and it continues to make your eyes strain the more you look at it, but you can’t find it in yourself to be all that bothered about the eyestrain. 
You unclench your fists and stand up, walking the short distance over to the metal medical cart where the scalpel lays, and you grab the handle of it with shaky hands. You look over at the door for a moment, and stay there for another few seconds.
Once you see that nobody’s coming in, you rush yourself to one of the beds, sliding open the curtains in front of it and sliding them back so that they’ll obscure anyone else’s view of you using the scalpel on yourself. 
You sit on the bed and although the scalpel almost slips out of your hand because of the blood from your palms, you manage to keep held in your tight fist, holding it like you would a pencil; tucked under the base of your thumb, and going through the gap between your index and middle finger. 
With your hands still trembling and your breath uneven, as well as a bustling mind that only grew louder as the scalpel in your hand grew closer to the skin of your forearm, you made the first incision. Almost immediately, your mind quieted, and your headache dimmed. 
Quickly becoming addicted to the feeling of a clear head, you lift the scalpel from your skin, not waiting to watch the blood bubble up from your open wound like you usually would, instead opting to make another incision right next to it.
Being a medic, there was nothing you could really do to stop yourself from thinking about how deep each incision was, and how deep you were cutting into your flesh—so while you cut yourself, a train of thought begun. 
Half an inch deep, You push the scalpel deeper, Now a full inch. Should take a month or two to fully heal. Wouldn’t scar. 
The thought of it not scarring should make you happy, or at least, neutral, but instead the thought makes you frown. Some odd hunger that comes from the indefinite pit in your stomach craves evidence for the malice you’ve shown towards your own skin, something that would prove your self-hatred. 
So, you go another half inch deeper. Scarring would be possible, but not as high of a chance as if you went another half inch. With that thought, you go the last half inch. There we go. 
You slide the scalpel blade through your flesh, the blade cutting through it like it would a firm fruit like a pear. It’s easier to cut through skin when the skin is pulled taut, You think, If only I had an extra hand.
You pull out the blade and repeat. You feel less guilty already.
All that worry about fucking up during your last assignment washes away, like the wave of guilt that overcame you earlier receded and pulled back that worry with it, lowering the tide of shame and self-reproach within you. In fact, the tide lowers so much that it almost completely disappears from your mind—like it never existed in the first place.
Reminds me of a tsunami, You repeat your actions with the scalpel, When the tides get low, so low that the ocean floor shows and you could walk where you’d originally have to swim, it’s because a tsunami is building up.
You look down at your work. Your forearm is a bloody mess, crimson red dripping down to your fingers and threatening to drop onto the stark white sheets of the bed you’re sitting on. You sigh tiredly and get up from the bed, putting the end of the scalpel’s handle into your mouth—ignoring the voice in the back of your head that reprimands you for not thinking about bacteria or contamination—and biting down to hold it whilst you slide the curtains in front of the bed to the side, walking out of the small resting area. 
You grab the scalpel and set it onto the metal medical cart by your desk, grabbing the gauze on that same cart, opening the small box it’s kept in with your non-bloody hand. It’s a struggle, but you manage it open, and you shake the roll of gauze out onto the cart. 
In the middle of you attempting to pull the end of the gauze off of the roll so that you could begin to wrap it around the red lines decorating your forearm, you hear loud footsteps walking near the medbay. You freeze in place, the gauze roll in one hand, your eyes burning holes through the door with how intensely you stare at it. 
There’s a knock. Then another. 
The door handle twists. 
You stare at the door, and everything feels like it’s in slow motion for a second. 
The door opens. 
“Hey, dae ye hae any—” Soap walks in, the sergeant taking one look at you before cutting himself off with a confused and immediately worried, “Holy shit, whit happened tae yer arm? Are ye alright?” 
He rushes over to you and takes your bleeding forearm into his hand. You almost immediately rip it away from his grip. 
“Nothing! Everything’s fine! Just an accident,” You lie, holding the blood-covered forearm close to your chest, “I was just about to clean it up.” 
“Dae ye need help wrappin’ it, an cleanin’ it up, or anything?” Soap asks, eyebrows furrowed and his expression beyond worried. 
“Nope,” You insist, “It’s fine. All good here.” 
“... Ye sure?” 
“Uh huh,” You nod your head, “All good. Don’t worry about it.” 
“‘kay then,” Soap tilts his head and crosses his arms, “Whit happened?” 
“Just a little accident with some of the equipment,” You nod down to the bloody scalpel on the medical cart, “That’s all.” 
It must be obvious you’re lying, because Soap sighs and says, “I think we baith ken that that’s a lie.” 
You stay silent for a few moments, before Soap speaks up again, “Ye ken if ye dinnae tell me, I’ll jist jump tae conclusions, richt?”
You take a deep breath before mumbling something under your breath. When Soap’s eyebrows draw together in confusion, you repeat louder, “I used the scalpel. On myself.” 
“Ye whit?” 
“I used the scalpel on myself,” You look away, and rush out, “and I’m really sorry, I just couldn’t help it, it’s not like— like a normal thing or anything, it’s just this once, I swear, and— and—” 
“[c/n], calm down,” Soap quickly uncrosses his arms and sets both hands onto your shoulders, furrowed eyebrows now taking a more concerned shape, “It’s okay.” 
You take a deep breath and look at him, looking at his nose instead of his eyes because you don’t think you could handle eye contact right now, “I’m really sorry.” 
“Why would ye dae that tae yerself?” Soap asks, voice soft and almost pitying, which makes you want to curl up and die. 
You shrug, not wanting to answer verbally. 
“Dae ye— dae the others ken?” Soap questions. 
“No.” 
“I’m—” Soap looks conflicted for a moment, “I hae an assignment… I’ll get Gaz tae help ye, aye? An’ I’ll check in wi’ ye as soon as possible?” 
You hesitate, but end up nodding in agreement, thankful that Soap offered to get Gaz rather than one of the others. The others seemed so oddly scary right now that you don’t even want to think about how they’d react to this whole situation. It’s all gone by so fast—one moment you were sitting on a hospital bed, the next you’re found out by Soap of all people—you’ve barely had time to think about the others. 
“Okay. Okay, okay,” Soap repeats the word under his breath like a mantra, thinking to himself for a second before sighing and looking down at you again, “Jesus, fuck, okay. I’ll go get him, ye stay here, aye?” 
You nod again, this time your vision begins to get more blurred. 
“Ye’re gonnae be okay, okay?” Soap tries to reassure you. You nod once again, sniffling a little bit, making Soap’s gaze soften.
He takes his hands off of your shoulders and gives you one last sad look before turning around and rushing out of the medbay, his thundering footsteps growing quieter as he gets closer to Gaz’s location—most likely his sleeping quarters. 
You wait a moment and when you hear no footsteps, your gaze goes back to the blade. It’s not like it’ll hurt to do a few more. I’ll stop when the others arrive. 
You grab the handle of the blade, and as quickly as you can, akin to an addict scrambling for substance, you slice through the skin of your non-mutilated hand. You make several quick and deep gashes before dropping the scalpel onto the medical cart again, breathing heavy, the cuts this time actually hurting. It felt like fire was running rampant through your nerves, all stemming from the self-induced wounds, and you winced at the new pain. It wasn’t anything you weren’t used to, but still.
When you hear footsteps again, you can tell they aren’t Soap’s. 
The door clicks open and in walks Gaz, already looking very worried—presumably from what Soap told him about your… situation—with another person in tow. Right behind him, Price walks in, expression neutral so far. 
Gaz looks over at you, his eyes widening as he sees the bloody gashes in your forearms. Without a second thought, he rushes over to you, his hand reaching for your forearm. Before you can stop him, he grabs your bloody forearm and pulls it up a bit so that he can look at it closer. You flinch, and Price quickly walks over to you two before Gaz can even utter a single word. 
“Let’s not, okay?” Price’s version of ‘knock it off’, “I’m here, I’ll take care of their… thing. You hand me what I tell you to. Understood?” 
“Yup— Yes, sir. Captain,” Gaz corrects himself quickly, making a slip-up that in any other situation would’ve made you at least chuckle, but all you can do now is stare at the pair as you hold your bloody arms to your chest. 
Price looks back over to you and nods over to one of the many empty curtain-surrounded beds and says, “Go sit over there and wait for a few seconds.” 
You nod, not knowing what else to do or say, and immediately walk over there. It’s the room furthermost to the right, the one that’s also the closest to the door and the one you’d coincidentally gone into to cut yourself. 
You slide the curtains to the side and sit down on the white bed, and just a few seconds later, just as Price said, he walked in as well. He sat next to you, Gaz in tow, the latter carrying a jar of cotton pads and balls as well as a bottle of Betadine.
Betadine—or iodopovidone, whichever name you preferred—was a sort of antiseptic that was generally used for cleaning cuts and wounds. Maybe not ones as deep as yours, but it would still work just as well. 
Despite it not being alcohol-based, or really having any alcohol in it, it still hurts the same as rubbing alcohol would, which you were… definitely not looking forward to.
“Sergeant,” Price takes the jar and bottle of Betadine from Gaz, “Go and grab the skin stapler for me.” 
“Yes, sir,” Gaz nods, walking out of the room once again. Price sets the jar and bottle of Betadine onto the bed beside himself after he leaves.
With you and Price now in the room alone, he turns to you and holds out his hand with his palm faced up for your arm silently. You carefully put your forearm onto his hand, watching as he gently pulls it closer to him, looking a bit closer at it before sighing through his nose and using his free hand to open the jar of cotton pads. 
“How did this happen?” He asks, breaking the silence. 
“Soap didn’t fill you in?”
“No.”
You think about what to tell him for a moment. What’s too straightforward? What’s too vague? How do I not overstep? How do I not sound like I just want attention? 
Eventually, you settle on, “I was— … I saw the uh… scalpel, and I just… decided to use it a little bit. On myself.” Definitely not the best you can do, but what else could you say? ‘Oh, I cut myself with a scalpel because I felt guilty and if I didn’t I probably would’ve had a panic attack or a mental breakdown’?
“…” Price pauses for a moment, eyes twitching for a split second before he continues his movements to grab a cotton pad and questions you, “Why?”
“Why what?”
“You know what I’m asking, [c/n].” 
He’s asking why you did it. There’s not one simple answer you could give him—sure, you could tell him that you felt guilty and it was a bad habit that you’ve told yourself you could stop but never tried to, but that wouldn’t be the whole truth.
You can’t fully express or dictate why you do it, you just do. It’s like when you cut slits into bread before baking it. Without those slits, the bread would crack and split at the seams on its own, but with them, the splitting and expanding of the dough is controlled. 
Except, with you, it’s like you’re cutting yourself before the tension building inside of you makes you burst at the seams. Taking a blade to your skin has given you a sense of control—maybe that’s why it’s so addicting, You think, it’s the only way I’ve been able to control my feelings. 
But you can’t just say all of that. Well, you could, but did you want to? Fuck no. 
Instead, you opt for shrugging, which doesn’t satisfy Price one bit. 
“I could see you thinking about it,” He sighs, “I know you at least have some sort of real answer.” 
Well, fuck. “It’s a long answer.” 
“I never said it couldn’t be.”
He doesn’t move to grab the Betadine at all, instead waiting for you to talk. 
You purse your lips and think for another moment before finally talking again, “I was feeling really guilty and tense, and I guess it just got too much, so I just kind of… had to. Like I felt like I was gonna fuckin’… I dunno, have a nervous breakdown or something. And honestly, it’s a really stupid reason, because the thing that I’m feeling guilty about happened like a week ago, but still—I’ve been feeling really guilty about it. It—It’s not like I can’t stop, if I tried I could, I swe—swear, and I just— it’s been really easy to just— you know? I— honestly, it’s not that big of a deal—” 
“Hey, hey—” Price brings a hand to your shoulder and softens his voice, “It’s okay. I understand.” 
“I ju—st… I’m sorry, I—” 
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Price reassures you, quickly bringing that same hand up to cup your jaw, “You’re okay. You don’t have to say sorry.” 
“But I—” 
“Shh.” You hadn’t even noticed how frantic your breathing had gotten during your small word vomit. And to just make things worse, there’d been tears gathering at your water line, well on their way to spilling over and creating tear tracks down your cheeks. 
You can’t help but let go of all the tension in your shoulders the moment Price starts gently rubbing his thumb back and forth over your cheek. The moment he does that, it’s practically game over for you. 
Those tears spill out from the corners of your eyes and you can already feel your next breath get caught in your throat, leaving you to just let Price gently guide your head to lean forwards against his chest, letting out small hiccups and trying desperately to hold back the sobs you want to let out.
It all happened so fast, you don’t even know how you got here. One moment you were doing a good job of somewhat keeping your guard up, the next your resolve was crumbled completely by the gentle and oddly caring touch of Price’s hand.
Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door, then someone walks in while you’re burying your head further into Price’s chest—Ghost. You can tell it’s him by the way he walks. He has long strides, he never drags his feet, and the moment he slides the curtains to the side to see you, his footsteps stop. They start up again a moment later, and he sits by your side, opposite of where Price is sitting—to your right instead of your left. 
Gaz must’ve let him in while he was looking for the stapler, You think, sniffling against Price’s chest. Normally, you would’ve felt some sort of shame by now, but given the current situation, you didn’t find much room to give a shit. 
You feel Price’s head move up slightly, and judging by the way he occasionally nods and sometimes moves his hands a bit, you can only assume that he’s having some sort of nonverbal conversation with Ghost right now. This conversation goes on for about a few minutes longer before you’ve managed to control your breathing a bit more. 
Price can tell, and he asks just for confirmation, “Is it alright if I clean your cuts now?” 
You nod and sniffle once before taking your head off of Price’s chest, looking down at your lap, simply holding out one of your blood-crusted arms to him. You can see Ghost stiffen up behind you almost immediately at the sight of it. 
Price grabs a cotton pad from the jar he was handed earlier, as well as the bottle of iodopovidone, and soaks the cotton pad with said iodopovidone. Once it’s soaked with the antiseptic solution, he hesitates before pressing it to your bloody arms. 
Almost immediately, you inhale a sharp breath and feel tears stinging your eyes again. 
“It’s okay,” Price tries to calm you down, seeing the tears forming in your eyes again, “You’re okay.” 
You sniffle and shift on the bed, trying to blink away tears that threaten to spill over your water line. Ghost, sitting by your side, puts a gloved hand over your shoulder, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into your shoulder. His eyes twitch as you bite the inside of your cheek to muffle another sob while Price presses another Betadine-infused cotton pad to your self-induced wounds, and although you can barely see him, out of the corner of your eye, you still catch the glint of new tears gathering at the corners of his eyes as he watches you. 
Gaz slips back through the curtains in front of the bed, this time with Soap in tow, and hands a skin stapler to Price. Seeing the skin stapler, something you used fairly often—often enough that the others knew how it worked and how to use it—automatically made your stomach turn.
“Told ye I’d come back for ye,” Soap murmurs, kneeling down to get about eye-level with you. You huff out the smallest laugh at his words and he gives you a small smile that makes you want to go lock yourself in a room with a scalpel and repeat what you’d done earlier all over again, his empathetic expression paining you more than taking a blade to your arm.
As a matter of fact, the expressions that you wish were pity coming from everyone around you hurts more than anything you could’ve ever done to yourself. Their concern was so unexpected—not that you don’t think they care, but you never thought they cared this much. You didn’t think that, if caught in the act, you would receive empathetic looks and solemn smiles, rather thinking that you would receive reprimanding. That you’d be punished for punishing yourself. 
Price thanks Gaz silently with the curt nod of his head before turning back to you with a solemn expression that in all honesty makes you more guilty and disappointed with yourself than before. He holds the skin stapler like he would a hot glue gun, looking down at the open wounds in front of him, and holds your forearm closer to him so he can see the edges of the cuts better. 
"Keep your arm like that," He murmurs, to which you respond with a nod and stiffening your arm so that it stays in the air where Price positioned it. He uses his now free hand to gently pull the edges of the cut you'd made closer together, aligning them the best he can before pressing the metal staple dispenser to the cut and pushing down on the trigger, stapling the two edges together with a click. 
He holds it down for an extra second before releasing and pulling the stapler away from your skin, and although the process only took around three seconds, you'd never get used to the feeling of getting your skin stapled. You make a small, pained noise that has Soap wincing as well--as though he can feel it too--and Price looking more solemn than earlier. 
“Finished with this one,” Price mutters as you swallow down another sob, holding his calloused-but-soft hand out for you to put your other forearm in. You do just that, nearly breaking into a fit of new sobs at the small ‘thank you’ Price utters. 
You watch Price soak another cotton pad with iodopovidone with his free hand and suck in a deep breath as he presses it to your forearm, the originally white cotton pad almost immediately going red. Tears spill over your waterline and roll down your cheeks as he continues to clean and disinfect your wounds, and before you can move your free hand to wipe them away, Ghost does so for you, his rough gloved hand swiping below your eyes quickly. 
You mumble a small 'thank you' that's barely even audible, sniffling as you can’t help but lean forward the tiniest bit into Ghost’s hand as it lingers on your cheek. He pauses, keeping it there for a second, before bringing that same hand up to the crown of your head and pushing gently on it to urge you to lean your head back. You do so, the back of your head quickly making contact with his Adam’s apple and the top of your head becoming tucked underneath his chin. 
His hand goes back down to your shoulder and continues its ministrations of rubbing small circles into said shoulder, bringing you intermittent moments of comfort throughout the painful wound cleaning you had to endure. 
Soap keeps a comforting hand on your knee as he’s kneeled down in front of you, his thumb occasionally copying Ghost’s, but otherwise remaining still on your knee, careful not to force you through too many different sensations at once. 
Gaz watches you from by the curtain, seeming not to do and looking completely lost. He stands there for another moment, watching the others, seeing what they’re doing for a second, before giving Ghost a ‘one moment’ signal by holding up his index finger and stepping out of the curtain-surrounded area.
Right after he does, another painful sting shoots up your nerves from your forearm, and you make the mistake of looking down at it. 
Wounds that only fifteen minutes ago had brought you to a calmer state of mind and were nothing more than incisions made by the scalpel you’d used to cut other people for entirely different reasons now almost hurt to look at. Once you could’ve compared them to marks left by wild animals, and you could’ve described them as though they were trophies, but now, as you stare down at them being cleaned by your own captain, they look nothing like the sort. 
They don’t look like any of the pretty descriptions you’d given them. They don’t look like cat scratches you’d gotten in an accident, or like something you would get out of a fight with a bear—they don’t make you look strong and brave like you thought they did. 
They look like tally marks. Sanguineous, gruesome tally marks, made by you, like you’d been counting down the days—or seconds, minutes, hours—until you’d had enough. Until you’d had enough of just carving your skin with medical equipment, and needed something more. Craved something more. 
Price must notice you staring down at the wounds, because he pauses in his movements to clean them for a moment, the sudden stopping of the stinging sensation the iodopovidone-soaked cotton making you shiver. You look up at him, and see him already looking down at you, concerned. 
“You’re thinking about something,” He points out softly, “Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.” 
You hesitate and look back down at your arm that Price had stopped cleaning, before mumbling, “Just thinking about how these are gonna scar.” It’s not entirely a lie, but not entirely the truth either. 
Price tilts his head to the side a bit, questioningly, “Do you know how they’re gonna scar?” 
“Well, when you work in the medical field for a bit, it gets easier to tell.”
You can tell he wants to ask how they’re gonna scar, so you decide to just say, “They’re all about one-and-a-half to two inches deep, so they’ll heal fully and then scar in a few months. Once they do, they’ll be visible, but not too prominent. The scarring tissue will stick above the skin a little bit, and it’ll make it look a little bit puffy.” 
“Alright,” Price hums, tone neutral, “So they’ll be… visible.” 
He sounds disgusted, A voice in the forefront of your mind insists, while one from the back of your mind tries to tell you, You have no way of knowing that, just see where the conversation goes. He has no reason to be disgusted with you.
“Yeah.” 
“Okay then,” Price sets the cotton pad down and grabs the skin stapler he’d been using earlier, “And it’ll take a few months to heal, you said?” 
“Several months, yeah.” Price considers this for a moment, pausing in his movements to hold the stapler to your skin. 
“Do you think you’ll need any help re-wrapping the bandages while they heal?” He inquires, resuming his movements after asking the question. 
“…” You think for a moment, Will you?, and after a few seconds, hesitantly, you reply, “… Yeah.” 
“M’kay,” Price hums softly, neutrally. “And would you want me to be the one who does it?” 
You think for another few minutes. Preferably, you’d be doing them yourself, but you didn’t trust yourself enough for that—so getting one of them to do it for you is your next best option. You wouldn’t mind if it was Price doing it, but at the same time, you wouldn’t mind if Ghost, Gaz, or Soap did it either. 
“It doesn’t matter,” You settle on, before tacking on, “As long as it’s one of you four.” 
“Us ‘four’ being… ?” 
“You, Soap, Ghost, and Gaz.” 
“Got it,” Price nods. You see Soap smile softly out of the corner of your eye before he quickly stops, trying to purse his lips into a line. He’s probably thinking that he shouldn’t be happy about that, You think, almost amused. You feel Ghost’s thumb stutter on your shoulder as well, before it starts back up normally. 
Your words affect them more than you thought they would. 
Breaking your train of thought, Price staples your skin with a muted click, making you wince. 
It’s silent for a few more moments before Gaz finally comes back, now out of breath and carrying a bar of chocolate. He hands you the chocolate bar and says, panting, “I almost had to spar someone for that. Why do you have to like the chocolate one of the other fuckin’ Lieutenants do?” 
You take the chocolate bar with your free hand gingerly and blink at it for a few moments before setting it down next to you. 
“Nobody told you to get it,” You shrug, before tacking on, “Thank you, though.” 
“Uh-huh, yeah, totally, hey so uh—” He looks at Soap and jabs his thumb towards where the door would be behind the curtains, “We’re both needed somewhere else. Again. They said they forgot something… again.” 
“Worst fucking timing ever,” Soap grumbles, before clearing his throat and standing up, looking down at you, “Right, I’ll check in on ye later, and help ye wi’ anything ye need me tae, aye? I’ll come wi’ mair chocolate than Gaz did, ‘cause I’m better than him.” 
“Got it,” You smile up at him, making him grin back and pat you on the shoulder Ghost’s hand isn’t occupying, before heading out with Gaz. 
Then, you’re left with Ghost and Price. 
“I should get going too,” Ghost mutters, slowly taking his hand off of your shoulder and gently pushing your head back off of his chest, almost regrettably. 
“M’kay,” You watch as he gets up and hesitates, looking like he’s about to give you a hug, before he decides to instead give you a simple head nod and head out the same way the two other operators did. 
And then, it was just you and Price.
It’s silent for a bit, until Price speaks up.
“You think a lot,” Price comments, finishing up the last staple. 
“Does that surprise you?” 
“A little bit, yeah.” 
You pause for a moment before sighing through your nose, “It’s nothing. Just the same stuff I was thinking about before.” 
“Wanna give me some more detail than that?” 
“Not really, no,” You admit, letting your hand fall into your lap as Price lets go of it, “But I have a feeling you’re gonna want me to tell you.” 
“I do.” 
“It’s just something stupid, like earlier—” 
“That wasn’t stupid, [c/n], that was you hurting.” 
“I— I know. It’s just that this is actually stupid.” 
“Well, tell me what it is, and I’ll be the judge of that.” 
You think about how to phrase it in simple terms for a moment, before finally speaking, “I used to think that the scars sort of… symbolized how I was able to control myself and my emotions, and that made me feel…” You can’t think of any synonyms to make the simple words you want to say sound less childish, so you’re forced to say, “… brave. And strong. I just— I thought it showed that I was good at controlling my emotions and stuff, for some reason. But now I’m questioning all of that.” 
“You’re very brave,” Price reassures you, and God, it sounds like he’s reassuring a child, “And you’re so strong. But this… this isn’t how you show that. This—cutting yourself—doesn’t make you either of those things. It doesn’t show that you’re either of those things. It shows that you need help.” 
“But you just said that I was strong.” 
“I did.” 
“… Aren’t you contradicting yourself?”
“How would I be contradicting myself?” Price asks. 
“You said that me— me… harming myself shows that I need help.” 
“It does,” Price hums, and at your confused expression, he continues, “You needing help doesn’t mean you aren’t strong. Needing help and being strong aren’t connected like that.” 
You open your mouth to argue but you close it, not knowing what to say. Price sees this and smiles knowingly, simply grabbing your hand to squeeze it once before getting up. 
“I’ll check in on you later, okay? I need to get some stuff done, but as soon as I can, I’ll be back to keep you company. Or I’ll send someone else over—whichever you prefer.” 
“M’kay,” You mumble, squeezing Price’s hand back before letting go. “You can do whatever. I don’t mind either one.” 
“Sounds good.” Price pauses for a moment before leaning down and giving you a quick hug, and then beginning to slip past the curtains blocking any outsider's view of the bed you were sat on.
Before he can leave, you quickly say, "Thank you. For the wound-cleaning-thing."
He pauses at the curtain for a second, before smiling and replying, "You're welcome."
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for those curious, the bthb card so far:
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stillnotyourmusebitch · 2 months
Note
AAAGH I loved your sinner!Adam fic about him and Reader watching TV together 🥺
I heard you take sinner!Adam requests so is it okay to have a sort-of part 2? Maybe watching movies became a regular thing between them and one time they end up kissing during one? If you find it repetitive and don't want to it's totally okay, I understand! I hope you have a nice day and keep up with the good work 🥹
Oh I loved writing this. The fic below is a sequel to this ficlet
I do hope that you liked it. I'm always worried I've made him too ooc but Sinner!Adam is fanon based atm and if he is wanting redemption he would change his ways.
So Urm yeah enjoy. . . .
What we watching?? Sinner!Adam x GN!reader
Fluffy af
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That night watching trashy romcoms with Adam could have just been a one off thing and you would’ve been fine with it. But when he approached you in the communal kitchens the next morning with a proposition to make ‘Thursday film night’ a regular thing between the two of you. You had asked him why. He said that hanging out with you yesterday was one of the most fun things he had done in a long time. You smiled fondly at him before agreeing.
-
As Thursday night rolled around again. You were looking forward to sharing some more of your favourite films with Adam. He’d said he would be there by 6ish. You glance at the time on your phone. It was only 6.05pm. He’s probably just running late after the one on one session with Charlie.
An easy way to keep your mind busy was dragging out all your blankets and making a sort of nest type thing on the floor by the couch. You used to do this with your family when you were alive. It just made the movie marathons all that more special. After seeing how far Adam had come since arriving at the hotel. You had really wanted to show him how much he meant to you.
‘Wait, as a friend.’ You stopped mid cushion grab. You liked him as only a friend right? Right?
Your door burst open and slammed shut very quickly Adam was only 45 minutes late, you looked up seeing him breathing hard, carting an armload of snacks, drinks and a few bowls of things.
“There you . . .” he shushes you looking frantically at the closed door. “What did you do?” You whisper as you crawl onto the couch.
A far off loud shouting could be heard in the silence. He waited a minute more before letting out a breath.
“It wasn’t my fault honest.” He looked extremely guilty. You quirked a brow wanting an explanation. “I was trying to make my super awesome dip for our movie night but I maaaaaay have made a really big mess but I didn’t mean to, I just tripped over that cleaner chick who was chasing more of them roaches. This hotel must have an infestation or she is breeding them just to kill. Oh wait, I’m getting off point, the thing is I might have made too much of the dip than I intended and I kinda launched half of it onto another patron. But it wasn’t my fault. This time at least.” He frantically spoke as he juggled the drinks and snacks about in his arms before depositing them carefully on the coffee table. Standing back up he turned and looked down at what you were making. “What’s that?” He points to the accumulated amount of cushions, blankets and other soft furnishings piled on the floor.
“Well, the thing is.” You hopped off the couch into the nest trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal. How were you supposed to explain the reason behind it without him laughing at you? “You know what it’s stupid let me just . . .” You felt shame rush to your cheeks as you tried to dismantle the obviously stupid idea.
“Hey, I didn’t say it was a bad thing. Looks comfy as fuck. Budge up would ya.” You hopped out as he set himself down in the dead center of the nest, keeping his legs open slightly to give you a place to sit. Last week he really liked having you snuggled up close to him, why did you think this week would be any different.
You chose the first movie and plopped yourself down in the space he left for you, his arms wrapping around your middle pulling you flush against his chest.
“So what we watching?”
-----
“I have a question do all of these movie have the same premise?” Adam asked after about 15 minutes into the third film.
“Whatdya mean?” You say through a mouthful of chips.
“Like . . hang on pause the film a sec.” He fumbles for the remote to stop the movie. You shuffle a bit to see him better. “Like don’t get me wrong they’re good films, a bit cliché but surely the lead woman knows that the ‘Oh I’m a famous something or other I have no time for a man’” his fake high pitched womanly voice had you laughing. “Hey shush let me finish my thought.”
“But you make such a good woman.” You poke at his chest playfully.
“Ah ha ha ha.” He grabs your hand in his. “But seriously shush. My point is are there any original ideas in these films?”
“You saying I got trash taste in cinema?” You try pulling your hand away from his grasp. Adam doesn’t let go but pulls you closer to him.
“What I’m saying is watching all these oblivious people who clearly have strong feelings for the other person, got me thinking.” He looks down at your hand in his. “Ya know what never mind let’s keep watching the movie.” He lets go of your hand and grabs for the remote, setting the film going again.
The whiplash from that conversation was enough to make your head spin. You stayed a second more simply looking into the face of a man who had something he wanted to say but couldn’t bring himself to do so. As you turned back in his arms to watch the movie, you could hear a small sigh of relief.
You tried to go back to watching the movie but you couldn’t. Adam only held you loosely now, choosing to focus more on grabbing snacks and sipping his soda. Your mind went into overdrive.
‘What did you do wrong?’
‘Was he mad at you?’
‘Did he . . . wait did he like you?’
You almost choked on a piece of popcorn at the realisation. Adam liked you.
Daring to flick your eyes to look at him. He was focused on the film but the soft look of longing he bore was almost too much.
“Adam?” Your voice was gentle so as not to spook him.
“Mmmyeah?” He was still watching the screen.
You grabbed the remote and paused the TV again.
“Hey, it was getting to a good part.” He looked down at you annoyed. “What. Is there something on my face?” He touches his face trying to feel for any irregularity. “Hey, say something you’re freaking me. mmmf” You pulled him down by his shirt and kissed him. He froze against your lips.
‘Shit was I wrong?’
You move to pull away. But his hands cup your face pulling you back into a tender kiss that makes you melt into his touch. The kiss lasted no longer than 5 seconds but you didn’t care you felt like your entire body was floating.
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” He spoke softly as he broke the kiss. “Can I kiss you again?” he asked hopefully.
“Yes.” Your words were barely a whisper but it was all he needed to pull you back against him, he kissed you in such a tender way that made your heart flutter in your chest. You didn’t realise he was capable of such gentility but you craved more of it. Your hands carded into his hair, being careful of his horns, as one of his hands went to cradle the back of your head, effectively tilting your head to allow him to deepen the kiss. His other hand moved to your lower back, fingers gripping the fabric of your shirt. The kiss had an undertone of heat laced in the movements of your joined lips.
You broke the kiss panting slightly, you noted his pupils were dilated slightly as you were sure yours mirrored back.
You had to slow this down now before you regretted anything.
“Adam.” Your voice low in warning. “As much as I enjoy kissing you. Can we take whatever this is a little slower?”
You expected him to whine or pout about being told no. but he just smiles goofily at you. Swiping a thumb over your lower lip.
“Sure thing.” He kisses your forehead before helping you settle back against him the way your were before. He picked up the remote “Ready to continue?”
You weaved your fingers with his other hand and nodded “Ready.”
--------
I hope this is what you wanted.
My ask box is still open if anyone else got requests
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eulalielatibule · 4 months
Note
Can we have more of the perfect pair au please it’s so cute and I love the idea behind it it’s awesome!!
Maybe r and Wanda’s first time? N maybe r doesn’t know what it is so Wanda has to show her and tell her about it?
Or literally anything at all I love them they are adorable
Thank you so much for the love!! I'm sorry this took so long to write. But I love this idea, I love a good corruption kink 😵‍💫 I hope you don't mind, I'm not the best at writing smut so this is a bullet point list lol.
Warnings: Smut, loss of virginity, corruption kink, innocence kink, maybe soft!dark?Wanda. BDSM dynamics. Mistress and Kitten honorifics. Fingering. Mentions of oral (r giving).
Minors and Blanks DNI. This is an 18+ blog and story.
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🐈‍⬛ Maybe it starts with you and Wanda cuddling and she's petting your head, whispering sweet words to you.
🐈‍⬛ Her hand travels down to your thigh where she lingers, tracing idle shapes on your skin. You look so cute in a fluttery dress she made you for spring.
🐈‍⬛ "Kitten," she hums, looking down at you as her hand continues to feel your soft thigh, "Do you wanna play a little game?"
🐈‍⬛ Your eyes light up- you love games! Especially games with your Mistress. "Yes please, what kind of game?"
🐈‍⬛ She can't help but smirk at your sweet excitement. You're just too cute for words. "It's a very special game. The rules are that you are to obey everything I tell you to do, or else you get a spanking. Understood?"
🐈‍⬛ Your head nodded automatically. You hated when Mistress spanked you. You weren't naughty very often, loving being a good girl for her- you were made to serve her. It's in your nature. But sometimes you got cheeky and she had to nip it in the butt to deter that. "Yes Mistress, I understand."
🐈‍⬛ "Good girl. Stay still." She purred, letting her slender hand wander up your dress. "I've heard the dreams you've been having, baby."
🐈‍⬛ For a while now, Wanda had been reading your mind. She wasn't proud of it- everyone deserved their privacy. But she was just so curious about what her little kitten thought about. What she dreamed about.
🐈‍⬛ So when she found out you were having lewd dreams about her just about every night? Well she had to do something about it.
🐈‍⬛ "Shhh kitten, it's okay," she cooed when you started stammering, trying to find an explanation or an excuse. "It's okay. Everybody has dirty thoughts."
🐈‍⬛ Her hand starts rubbing your clothed pussy. When you jerk in surprise, she gives a swat to your thigh. "Make me proud. Stay still."
🐈‍⬛ Your eyes teared up from both arousal and frustration, you wanted to be good for her so so bad. "Yes Mistress, 'm sorry." She kisses your cheek in response and tries again.
🐈‍⬛ Rubbing firm, slow circles, watching you intently to see your reactions. "I bet you're confused by your dreams, baby. Are you?"
🐈‍⬛ "Uh huh, I- I never had those thoughts before. It was kinda scary." You admitted in a small voice. It was hard to concentrate when Wanda was making you feel so good.
🐈‍⬛ "Oh honey, it isn't bad or scary. It's good, it's natural." She said sweetly, kissing your cheek as her fingers pulled your panties aside.
🐈‍⬛ "Humans have sex all the time. It's just a way of life. And it feels so good." She couldn't help but moan at the feeling of your wetness. You had gotten so worked up so fast.
🐈‍⬛ "Are we having sex?" You asked in a shuddering voice, finding it hard to stay still with all the new sensations going on. But you had to stay still. You had to make Mistress proud.
🐈‍⬛ "Oh we're going to, baby. Don't you worry your pretty little head about it." She whispered, spreading your wetness around your achey pussy. When she touched your clit you gasped and twitched a little, but managed to stay still.
🐈‍⬛ Wanda rubbed your clit for a few moments, whispering words of praise as you sat so nicely in her lap. And soon she was delving between your folds, stretching your hole out so perfect.
🐈‍⬛ Using only two fingers for now- she'd add more once she thought you were ready for her strap.
🐈‍⬛ Your head felt like it was spinning, how good you felt. Humans did this all the time? How on earth did anything else get done?
🐈‍⬛ In this moment all you wanted was to have sex all the time. Wanda chuckled, "my little fuck toy."
🐈‍⬛ Soon you were feeling strange. These pleasure you were feeling was getting stronger and stronger, it was making you feel a little scared. Like something big was about to happen.
🐈‍⬛ Your orgasm exploded with a cry, your body arching as you blacked out for a moment. Wanda hissed as you clenched down so tight on her fingers, helping you ride out your orgasm as long as possible.
🐈‍⬛ She sensed you growing sensitive and pulled her fingers out slowly. First she licked your juices off her fingers, then she let you have a taste.
🐈‍⬛ You hummed around her fingers, moaning at the taste. "How is it, sweet girl? Do you taste good?"
🐈‍⬛ "Yes Mistress, never tasted anything like it before." You said sweetly, making Wanda smile.
🐈‍⬛ "Mm, you do taste amazing. Mistress wants you to taste her now."
🐈‍⬛ Your eyes widened- was that allowed? You felt like getting to taste Wanda was a privilege only the very best should be allowed to have.
🐈‍⬛ Your mouth watered at the thought. If Mistress was inviting you, then surely it was okay.
🐈‍⬛ "Yes, Mistress." She helped you get on your knees in front of her, mind racing at what was about to happen.
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Text
One of the things about Stede that absolutely kills me is that I don't think we ever see him defend himself.
Stede has such a negative view of himself, and it's clearly gotten to the point where he thinks everyone else is justified in assuming the worst, too. He acts so confident that it's almost something you can miss, so I can't even blame Ed for not noticing just how bad Stede's self-image is.
Stede never tries to explain his behavior. He just nods along when other people tell him how they interpreted his actions.
S1E3: Stede, about to be hanged, says "I deserve that" when Jim calls him "the worst pirate captain in history." Now, yes, he's been just the worst pirate ever up until this point, but he's literally about to die and he doesn't even try to get sympathy or reassurance.
S1E9 - Stede never even bothers trying to explain that Nigel's death was an accident, he says he stole Nigel's sword and jammed it through his head. Part is obviously to make sure he takes the blame instead of Ed, who already confessed, but he could have given the true account of events.
S1E10 - Stede seems bummed but definitely not surprised to see Mary and the kids are doing so well without him. Never explains himself or tells Mary that he'd been feeling so trapped and terrible. When Mary tried to skewer him, his biggest cricitism was about how maybe she should have tried smothering him or using a pillow instead.
S2E1-E3 - Stede can only assume Ed's behavior at the beginning of the season is his fault alone, but he never, ever tries to pass blame. He never even thinks about blaming Ed or any crew members' actions. As far as he's concerned, the responsibility is his alone.
S2E4 - I think it's very natural that Stede's explanation to Ed wouldn't include the fact that Chauncy dragged him out of bed and shot himself in front of him. It might make Ed feel better to know Stede wasn't just panicking about their relationship moving too fast, he'd also just been through a very traumatic event, but Stede doesn't think of it like that. As far as he's concerned, he has no excuses and Ed is right to blame him entirely.
Always, every time, Stede assumes everyone is always working with the understanding that Stede fucked up big time and he deserves complete blame for everything that happens as a result. He never tries to contextualize his actions. He assumes the worst of himself and thinks everyone else is right to do so too.
I'm glad Ed's started to pick up on how much Stede is desperate for approval. I hope he realizes how much Stede needs reassurance and how much good saying "you're not the worst person alive and you're not irredeemable" will do for him.
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photogirl894 · 2 months
Note
Hello! Don't know if you're still taking requests, but would I be able to request 8 and 33 from the physical affection prompt list with Crosshair? I can totally see him using that to spend time with his SO!! 😁
Hey anon! I know it's been forever since you sent this in, so I really hope you see it! Sorry it took a long time!
"Close to You"
8. Play fighting/wrestling
33. Playful shove
Pairing: Crosshair x fem reader
***
It was a nice day on the planet, Naboo, and you and the Bad Batch were taking some downtime there for a little bit until you received your next mission. As you were about to get off the ship, Crosshair arm-checked you in the doorway and pushed past you. You cast a perplexed look at him, but he simply looked back over his shoulder and smirked at you as he went down the ramp.
He'd been doing that a lot lately, giving you light shoves as he'd walk by you and you couldn't quite understand why, but then he'd grin at you after doing so. His peculiar behavior peaked your curiosity. You'd seen him and his brothers push each other around often, but he never grinned at them like he did with you. At one point, you went to Hunter to see if he had any explanation behind Crosshair's behavior. All he had to say was that Crosshair was more physical with people he likes or feels comfortable around, hence why he shoved his brothers around all the time. It was just how he was; how he expressed himself. When you asked why Crosshair grinned at you the way he did, Hunter didn't really have much an answer other than, "Maybe he just likes you a little more."
If that were true...you wouldn't mind it at all.
You had found your gaze drifting towards Crosshair a lot more recently. Something about his stoic, quiet personality intrigued you and you really wanted to try and get him out of his shell a little more. You wanted to know him more; you wanted to see a side of him that even his brothers didn't know. That and you found him particularly handsome. Something about the sharp curvature of his cheek bones, the way his lips pressed together with a toothpick between them, the way the light hit his brown eyes...you were well and truly smitten with the sniper.
He tended to like to stay up a little later than the rest of the squad, so you decided to try something out once everyone else had retired for the night.
Soon, night came and you spotted Crosshair sitting outside by a space heater. His armor had been removed and he was just in his blacks, just like you were in yours. You carefully made your way down the ramp of the ship, but he heard you coming and stood up upon seeing you.
"Everything all right?" he asked you.
"Yeah, I'm fine," you responded as you walked up to him. Then you playfully shoved him in the arm and said, "Just checking on you and making sure you're okay."
He looked a bit taken aback at your gesture before saying, "I'm...fine."
Motioning to his arm where you'd hit him, you stated, "Hunter says that's how you show people you like them. I thought doing it back would do the same thing."
"Yes, but...it's different with you," he admitted.
"What do you mean?" you asked.
He flashed a grin at you; a softer, more sincere one that you had never seen from him before that made him almost glow even more in the light of the space heater. "For me...it's just another way to be close to you," he told you.
Surprised, you blurted out, "Then why didn't you just say something before?"
He smirked again and replied, "This was more fun," as he then nudged you again in the arm with his shoulder.
You figured two could play at that game. With your mouth agape at his gesture, you decided to gently shove him back. That only made him grin even more as he gave another push, a little harder than before. When you went to retaliate, however, he caught your hands in his, holding them in place and wrestling against them.
"Hey, no fair!" you cried.
You pulled your hands free, but as you turned to try and move away, he pulled you back, grabbing you around the waist with his arms and pulling your back against his chest as he lifted you just a little off the ground and walked backward slowly.
"Where do you think you're going?" he asked tauntingly in your ear.
"You know, if you just wanted to be close to me, all you had to do was say--aah!"
Suddenly, you found yourself falling as Crosshair seemed to trip over something as he walked backwards and you both tumbled to the ground with a thud. You heard Crosshair groan from not only the impact of the ground, but also of you landing on top of him before rolling off.
"Are you okay?" you inquired, crawling over to him.
"Never...better," he groaned as he sat up. However, just as he got all the way up, he was suddenly pushed back down onto his back, but not because you had shoved him...because you had leapt onto him and were hugging him around his neck. His arms stiffened at his sides at the sudden, unexpected closeness he was receiving from you, not to mention with you being on top of him.
"If you wanted to be close to me...I would've obliged right away," you said softly to him. "I care a lot about you, Crosshair. I hope this is what you want."
His arms gradually enclosed themselves around you, embracing you closely, and you could feel his body relax underneath you. Then he responded, "Not quite."
When you pulled back to question him further, his hand was immediately on your cheek for a brief moment before it slid to the back of your head and he pulled you down to him, lifting his head a little to meet you partway as he joined his lips softly with yours. There was a delightful shiver that ran down your spine at how sweetly he kissed you and you couldn't help but smile into the kiss as you deepened it.
After a moment, he pulled back, a new light in his eyes upon realizing you had kissed him back and were smiling adoringly down at him. "Now, I've gotten what I wanted," he then spoke, a content grin on his face. "This was everything I'd hoped for...and more."
Pleased with his reply, you bent over, kissed him once more and then laid your head down on his chest, cuddling up to him. His arms held you safely against him, right where he wanted you to be.
Photogirl894's Physical Affection Prompts
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luveline · 11 months
Note
maybeee if you’re feeling like it, eddie and r disagree over some parenting decision for roan and r doesn’t really wanna overstep but it’s something she feels passionate about
thank you for your request my love! dad!eddie x (nearly) stepmom!reader — tw mentioned child abuse (NOT graphic imagery, not enacted, just mentioned)
You don't think Eddie's mad at you, which is good. He hadn't said anything he couldn't take back, things you'd worried he might; I'm her dad, (with an unspoken not you) is the most passionate thing he'd said. It hurt some, but it's irrefutable. He's her father, her primary caregiver, and he makes decisions when it comes down to it. 
He didn't say and you're not her mom, but it had felt implied. Just a bit. 
Loving her like your own, it's natural to want the best for her. Natural to have opinions on how she's taken care of and the things that she should do. Things got heated too quickly, that's all. Or, that's what you're hoping happened. 
Stacy K's mom said hey, would it be alright for Stacy to invite Roan to a slumber party? She wants one for her birthday, and she wants Roan there most of all. 
And you'd been surprised at Eddie's immediate agreement. Sure, Roan would love to come.
He picked Roan up and you parted ways with Stacy K and her mom, and you were quiet, unlike yourself, stomach churning because you knew you'd have to speak up, which you hardly ever do. Hey, Eddie?
He noticed your strange expression. What?
Is that a good idea? … Stacy's slumber party? 
Why wouldn't it be? 
It devolved from there. You tripped over your words, trying your hardest not to start a fight with Roan in the car, and Eddie took it the wrong way —or maybe he didn't, maybe he took it the right way, and you'd made a mistake. Your concerns had come across as doubtful of his ability to look after Roan. It makes sense that he took offence. 
You shouldn't, but you worry for a second that this will be the end, that Eddie can't abide by what you've said, and he's going to pack up and leave. You know he won't do anything of the sort, he's loyal and caring to a fault. He wouldn't hurt you so badly over one fight. He's making you nervous is all, sitting next to you quietly. It's not the cold shoulder, that’s never been his style. It's just… quiet. 
"Do you want something, sweet thing?" he asks as he gets up from the couch. "I'm gonna make Roan ants on a log." 
"It's been a really long time since you called me sweet thing," you say, sending him a tentative smile.
"You're sweet, you're my thing…" He licks his lips. "Not my best." 
You uncross your legs, reaching out for him before he can leave to the kitchen. "Listen, I'm– I'm sorry that I made you feel like you're doing something wrong. Sorry I overstepped." 
Eddie sits back down slowly. He swallows. "I'm sorry I shut you down. I guess I was offended." Eddie shuffles a little closer to you. "I mean, I was offended. But," —he speaks as though he's piecing his sentence together with the utmost of care— "you're Roan's mom." And he takes your hand. "You have been for a long time. I'm sorry I made it sound like you overstepped. You can't overstep. How can I be mad at you for one aspect of being a parent, when I'm happy for you to do the others? But I need you to understand that I've been doing all of the big stuff by myself the whole time, until we met I was doing everything by myself, and it annoyed me that you might think I didn't know best… 'n' that's not fair on you, 'cos I don't always know best." 
You aren't expecting it. His explanation or his easy apology. 
You look down at his hand over yours and breathe a sigh of relief. 
"I think…" You pause. When you speak, it's stilted. "Okay. I think it's a bad idea for her to go sleep over at Stacy's house when she doesn't have the words to tell us if something happens." 
Eddie's lips part. 
"That's what I wanted to say, before, not just that she's so young. And I actually do think you know best, Eds. You're a good dad. A fucking good dad."
You can see him thinking about what you've suggested. He rubs your knuckles. 
"She is a little young," he concedes. "She might not even want to stay the night when she realises what that means. But we could teach her if she does, she knows that people aren't allowed to touch her without her say so." 
"I know," you say. You're about to say more when Roan herself steps into the living room, walking at an unbothered pace. Her hair is dishevelled but besides that she's in clean jammies and clearly quite content.
"Hello," she says, a piece of paper in her hands. "I thought we were having ants on logs?" 
"Yeah, babe, I'm gonna make them right now. What have you been drawing?" 
She shows you the drawing. It's the three of you as most of her drawings are, with antennas and carapace bodies. It's gnarly. Eddie loves it the second he sees it, and he insists on putting it onto your already stacked fridge. 
She basks in the feeling of being loved and revered, and then basks again when Eddie gives her a plate full of ants on a log, chewing with a massive grin. 
"I really meant what I said," he murmurs to you, you and him hip hip by the kitchen sink. 
"Which part, handsome?" you ask. 
"She calls you mom. You’re her mom. You don't have to be sorry for having something to say to me.
You look him up and down without malice. He looks incredibly earnest, a little sheepish. His cheek is soft when you lift your hand to it, and he's eager to lean into your palm. "It wasn't about that," you say softly, hushed so Roan doesn't hear. "I promise it wasn't." 
"I know. I just hate that it's what I made you think." 
"So we're okay?" 
"We were always going to be okay, what did you think?" he asks, hand on your hip and pulling you stomach to stomach and chest to chest.
"Just worried."
He looks over your shoulder at Roan. You turn with him. She's kissing peanut butter off of the tips of her fingers with a delighted smile and air about her. 
"Talk about it more tonight?" he asks. 
His promises are always good. You talk about Roan's potential slumber party in bed that night after she's been tucked in, and you both say more sorries for your misunderstandings. It's weird to argue with him, but you're thankful it was about something that mattered, even if that something is scary to think of. 
"Thanks for thinking I'm a good dad," he says, cheek turned into the pillow, the tip of his index finger tracing lightly over your face in no one direction. 
"That's not something you have to say thanks for." You're in much better spirits now, speaking with confidence. 
"You're the one person who would know," he says. 
"That's not true. People only have to talk to Roan to know how good you are." 
He laughs a huff that kisses your skin like a warm breeze. "Did you really think we wouldn't be okay?" 
You laugh nervously. "I mean, no. It went through my head, but I didn't actually think it was the end, babe. I'm not that stupid." 
"You're not any amount of stupid, stupid." 
You laugh in his face. He puts his hand over your mouth with wide eyes but it's much too late. You stare at each other, mirrors of a fond defeat as footsteps sound down the hall. 
"What is so funny?" Roan asks, half-guilty 'cos she knows she should be in bed and half plain curious as she cracks open the bedroom door. 
Eddie sighs. It's not an unhappy sound. "Come and lie down with us and I'll tell you." 
She grins and rushes in. 
more eddie, roan and reader
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softtdaisy · 5 months
Text
🌲 save us for later l pierre gasly
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summary. Christmas could have been great. if pierre didn't forget to tell his parents you broke. and you didn't have to pretend you were still together.
words count. 2,434
a/n. ok I'm totally obsessed with this one and I really hope you will love it as much as I do🫶
a very angsty Christmas l masterlist
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“I can’t believe you did that.” 
You heard Pierre sigh by your side, like he was already tired of this situation.
Like it wasn’t his fault if you were there today. What a joke.
“You don’t even try to understand.” he added, still focused on the road to not look at you. You noticed he was gripping the wheel so hard his joints were white. Or how he was biting his lips so badly, a habit you helped him to cease doing but apparently he didn’t stop, it was almost bleeding. 
But you couldn’t care less. Because this was so typical of Pierre: putting the blame on you by saying you didn’t want to hear his explanation.
“Oh.” you laughed nervously, turning to look at him. “Maybe you’re right.” you took a break long enough for him to frown, wondering if you really agreed with him. He knew for sure that during your past arguments, none of you would flinch this easily. 
“I really can’t fucking understand how you could lie to your parents and pretend we are still together, Pierre.” 
“What was I supposed to do?
“Tell the fucking truth.” you replied, slamming your hand on the dashboard. 
This was absolutely not how you planned your Christmas’ eve. 
Well, to be honest, you didn’t plan much. Your parents were away for the holiday and you were just going to eat some homemade food in front of a christmas movie. Nothing much but a well appreciated evening.
For sure, you didn’t plan on spending it with your ex-boyfriend and his family.
Pierre suddenly drove on the sideway and stopped there, getting some horns from annoyed drivers. You looked at him with confusion, he wasn’t the reckless driver type. Obviously. It was his habit to scare you when you shared the car.
He stopped the car and turned to you. “I fucked up, ok? I know that. On so many levels.” you rolled your eyes at this and held back any bad comments. “But everything went fast after our breakup. I haven't seen them since this summer and I couldn’t announce that we broke off our engagement through the phone. When my mom said they were waiting for us tonight, I didn’t have the heart to ruin their christmas. You can blame me for lying. But don’t fucking blame me for protecting my parents for god sake!”
Pierre was right. You knew it. 
It was something you’ve always kinda admired about him: how his family would always go first. You couldn’t count the number of hours you waited for him in the hotel room, ready to go out and celebrate, while he was on the phone with his parents or his brothers. For sure, you would be a liar to blame him for something you’ve always encouraged him to do.
Especially considering that you accepted to play pretend tonight for the sake of protecting them, too. 
When Pierre called you tonight, you didn’t answer. When he texted you, you barely read the message.
When he knocked on your door, you didn’t have any other choice than to open.
And when he told you, you needed to come with him at his parents’ place to act like a couple even though you’ve been apart for three months now because he still hasn't told them about you…well you laughed. Nervously. And argued a lot.
Then you realised you didn’t want to be the bad person in this narrative. What was one night in a whole life?
You sighed, still looking at Pierre. He still hasn’t moved, waiting for an answer from you. You got lost in each other’s eyes.
And that was the thing that convinced you to come. The fact that he was ready to bring you back home if you really didn’t want to accompany him.
“Fine.” you sat back normally. “You could have told them I wasn’t available.” 
You heard Pierre laugh softly. “You still want to have the last word I see.”
Most of the ride went quietly after that. Pierre put on some music and you answered most of your texts. You only started to talk again ten minutes before you arrived to make sure you had the same ideas in mind. No break up, you were still planning your wedding and happy as before. And the reason you didn’t see his family in so long was simply a lack of time from both of you. 
“And…” Pierre started once he was parked in front of his family house. You frowned, wondering what you could have potentially forgotten. You memorised everything and it wouldn’t be that hard to pretend after a three year relationship.
But then it hit you when he took the box out of his pocket. “I almost forgot it at home but it’s here.” 
You remember when Pierre proposed to you. 
You went to Greece during the summer break, last year. One night, while you were walking around the city, you found a place that was recreating Mamma Mia and invited everyone to sing and have fun. And so you went there, singing Abba the whole night. At some point during the night, after a kiss that lasted longer than it should in public, Pierre looked at you with a big smile and said “I want to marry you.” You laughed, thinking he was joking. But he wasn’t. “I meant it. Would you marry me?” and this time you started to cry, nodding so hard you had a neckache. 
You later learnt that Pierre had imagined a whole different scenario for the proposal. But it spoke with his heart and did it when it felt perfectly right.
And tonight, you were putting back the ring you worshipped with your whole heart. “It feels weird.” you whispered. 
Pierre didn’t answer and simply left the car. It was hard for him too. Acting like he didn’t lose the woman of his life over stupid decisions.
“Vous voilà! Je suis tellement contente de vous voir.” (oh there you are! I’m so happy to see you)
Before you even got the chance to prepare yourself in front of the door, Pierre’s mom opened it and took you both in her arms. You couldn’t lie, it felt good to see her and feel just as appreciated as before. Like nothing changed. And it was the truth, somehow. For his mom, nothing has changed. You were still her son’s fiancé, the one she almost saw as a daughter.
You looked at them, the way she kept touching his face to see any changes. And, what she told you one day, if he had any scars from races he tried to hide from her. You had this weird feeling of being home. Like you were right where you belong. For a second, you were back a year ago, when everything was perfectly fine. 
But then it hit you when Pierre took your hand to bring you inside to see everyone. It always felt natural when you were holding hands. In one of your birthday cards, you told him he must be your soulmate simply because your hands seemed to be held by the other. 
Tonight, it didn’t feel natural. It was hesitant. Pierre wasn’t confident about closing his fingers on yours and you could feel it.
Everybody seemed so happy to see. They all see you as an official member of their family. And it would be lying to say you weren’t happy to be by their side too. 
It helped that you didn’t see much of them for months. You spend the first two hours of the night talking with everyone but Pierre. Asking about their life, their own family, their friends… you had many things to learn. And you avoided some questions. That was one of the rules you established with Pierre. Pretend that the wedding was a big secret you couldn’t tell a thing about. For the rest, you just made the truth prettier.
Sure, you started a new job. But you didn’t admit it was a full time one because you didn’t go to the races anymore.
Yes, your pet was doing so fine. You just had to find the right pictures that would show your new apartment. 
No, you still haven’t decided where you would spend the winter break with Pierre. Because you weren’t going on any holiday anymore. At least, not together.
The dinner was a little harder to live. Because you sat next to Pierre, like it was planned. Like it has always been. And this time, compared to the whole drive, you felt more trapped. Because you couldn’t roll your eyes at what he was saying, or avoid his hand when he tried to touch you. Everyone would notice that and understand that something was wrong. You had to be careful.
So careful that, at some point during the evening, you even forgot why you were acting like that. You got lost in his stories about races you went to and especially those you miss after your breakup. You laughed at his joke, sympathised with his bad moments and cheered at the podium you missed.
You remember that day, or night actually for you. You didn’t watch the end of the season after your separation but you still had the notifications from the official account. So you knew the results. And when you learnt that Pierre had secured a second place on the podium, you almost called him. It was still a natural reflex: this desire of celebrating with your loved one.
But you didn’t. You didn’t even send him a text. And for one good reason: the last text you got from him was simply “Je suis désolé” (i am sorry) and you couldn’t handle the pain of going through the pain again. 
There had been hard times these past months where you almost forgive Pierre for breaking your engagement. There had been many times where you still wanted to call him and insult him for breaking up just because he woke up one day and realised this was maybe not what he wanted for his future.
What was this? This has been the question you’ve asked yourself many, many times. Was it your couple, your wedding or just you? You had no idea. Pierre couldn’t even explain it himself. He just knew that it wouldn’t be fair to keep pretending he was happy in a life he learnt to despise.
And it was now, sitting by his side, that you realised you had overcome all these mixed feelings. You felt alright. Not good, because the wound was still wide open. But you had accepted it. You would never marry Pierre. And you didn’t want to anymore.
After he finished telling the story of the last race of the season and the battle of champagne he had with Charles, while everyone was talking together, Pierre turned to you. You both got lost in each other's eyes. And you were convinced his little smile was a soft thank you. For being here, for lying, for…being happy. 
Because it hadn’t been easy months for Pierre either. Many times he woke up, thinking he had made the worst decision of his life. And some morning, he still wonders if he didn’t lose you for nothing. And those questions weren’t created by some insecurities about his happiness because he knew that he felt happier without this weight on his shoulder. But because he was scared he had ruined you. He would have accepted to be miserable for the rest of his life over this stupid. But he couldn’t accept hurting you forever.
But tonight, you both realised that maybe, things were going better for the both of you. And maybe, that night, was the one you both needed to start healing.
This helps the rest of the night go smoothly. You played games together, laughed together without thinking about the lie you were telling everyone. Even the drive back home felt natural, you talked about his family a lot. He even asked about yours. It was a whole different from the outward journey earlier. 
Pierre insisted on walking to your door with you. “It wasn’t that bad, right?” you couldn’t help but smile at him. He had this kind of unserious almost flirty tone like he needed to prove to himself and to you that he was right, in the end. It wasn’t such a terrible thing to do. 
You crossed your arms on your chest, a way to protect your heart from opening itself again. “No it wasn’t. You’re right.” he shrugged like it wasn’t such a surprise and you immediately hit him in the chest. You both laughed and oh how it felt good to be this lighthearted again for a few minutes. 
It meant more than you imagined that you were standing in front of your door, with your ex-fiancé in front of you. When you could already be in the bed but rather got lost in his eyes. Because you knew exactly what this moment was. And deep down, you weren’t ready to let it go.
You could hear Pierre talk before he even opened his mouth. “We were good together, huh?” you tried to not focus on his glossy eyes or the way he was playing with his fingers. 
“Yeah, we were.” you smiled, containing your own tears from falling. “It was good while it lasted.” 
Pierre crossed the few steps between you. You closed your eyes when you felt his lips on your forehead. Such a kind and sweet attention you remember he had when you started dating. When, for the first time maybe in his life, he wanted to take things slow to make them last. But this time, there were no other moments to share. And you had to watch him leave your place.
For the last time. 
You finally put the key in the door, taking your time to not close this chapter of your life too fast. “Eh!” you jumped, turning around immediately and saw Pierre holding the elevator’s door open. “You know I'll still love you, right?”
“I do.” you tried to ignore this weird feeling in your stomach, not waiting to think about the fact you ended up saying the two words you would never say to him. “Me too.” 
There lies the truth. You loved each other. Still. 
But you couldn’t be together anymore.
And so when you finally opened the front door and got inside. When Pierre finally let the elevator closed on him and brought him back to his car. You both knew what it meant.
193 notes · View notes
benedictscanvas · 11 months
Note
omggg in my fluffy needing comfort era and i LOVE how you write jamie tartt x reader- could i make a request for jamie x chronically ill reader where he is just really supportive and loving with someone who is long-term sick? ♥️♥️
of course, my love. thank you for the kind words. i tried to make this as vague as possible so people can relate in their own ways. sending you love! <3 | gn!reader, 1.2k words, tw chronic illness & pain, language
You'd just about managed to get your hair how you wanted it to look for the evening, with minimal swearing for once. Jamie was sat on the bed waiting for you, he'd been ready for a good few minutes now, but you were still reluctant to emerge. There was a wave of pain undulating through you that you were trying to ride out in silence without alerting your boyfriend.
"Y' alright, love? No rush, I wanna be fashionably late anyways," he said from the next room, raising his voice so that it reached you through the closed door. You hardly ever closed doors around each other, so you should have known he'd be worried.
The pain wasn't dissipating, so you took a few deep breaths before stepping out into the bedroom with a smile that you hoped was normal.
"Sorry, my hair wasn't co-operating," you say, tilting your head as you take him in. Navy trousers, white shirt, brown jacket. He looked effortlessly gorgeous, even if he had one more button undone than you would have suggested. Some things didn't change, "You look so good, Jamie."
"Me?" he said incredulously, standing up and huffing out a breath of disbelief, "You look...fuck. I'm not good enough with me words for this."
His hands gesture aimlessly down your outfit and you feel a real smile blossoming under his attention. You take his hands in yours and place them on your waist, stopping his flapping from going further.
"I like your words just fine. And your face," you add with a grin that he returns, curling his fingers into the fabric he's found. A new wave of pain crests and you try your hardest to keep it off your face, but don't think about how your body must tense under his touch. His whole face crumples.
"Ah shit," he murmurs, running his hands down your arms to interlace your fingers together as he takes a step closer, "Why didn't y' say anythin' babe?"
"About what?" you ask pathetically, watching him fix you with a look that said 'cut the shit'.
"Cut the shit," he said, clearly deciding the look wasn't enough, "We agreed, babe, you tell me if it's a bad day so I can help. Or at least try to. Thought we were in a good place with it."
Your heart aches. He really does hate it when you keep your pain to yourself, even though you're not sure he yet understands just how much pain you would be sharing if you shared all of it. You'd been dating for six months, but still wanted to be careful not to scare him off.
"I am. I promise, Jamie, I do tell you it's just..." you struggle for a good explanation that doesn't create any pity in him, "Tonight's big, you know? I want to be a proper girlfriend and I want to burst into tears and kiss you stupid when they call your name for that award."
There is a little bit of pity in his eyes when you've finished, so you can't have done a very good job of it. He squeezes your hands tightly in his.
"Can't say it many more ways," he says softly, "But y' gotta believe that you are me priority, gorgeous. Jus' wanna look after you, y' know. I wanna be a proper boyfriend too."
You'd never thought about it that way. Another wave of pain hits and Jamie's instantly stroking your temple when your eyes clench shut. You feel his lips on the opposite side of your head as he whispers sweet little comforts in your ear.
If it wasn't so painful, maybe you'd be more willing to argue the point with him. It would have to be a battle saved for later, because lying down was the only option for the moment. You could feel the sting of tears; it couldn't have been a worse time for a flare up.
"I'll be there for every other award you win," you say forcefully, but you can't bring yourself to promise. Sometimes you worry you can't promise him enough, but then you see the way he looks at you as he leans backwards again and a lot of that worry falls away.
"You're way too sure that I'm winnin' this award, by the way," he says, a little bashful. It was one of your favourite versions of him, "I'm up against quality."
"None of that. The most creative player in the league this season was you. Hands down. I think you know that really."
He nods, but doesn't look sure still. Then he's stepping away from you as he shrugs off his jacket, throwing it onto the back of a chair and flopping down on the bed.
"Come on then, love. We can fit in a quick episode of whatever you want before the ceremony's on TV."
You stare at him.
"What?"
"Well I'm not fuckin' going without you," he laughs, like that was never an option, "Duh. I'd be bored shitless. I know you need to lie down, babe, come on."
He holds out a hand to you. You take it, still dazed by the sudden turn of events, let him pull you onto the bed and into his arms on top of the covers.
"There we are," he breathes, pressing kisses into the top of your head, "Perfect. We'll have a much better evening bein' able to laugh at Roy makin' a fool of himself for the cameras from 'ere, right?"
Coming back to your senses, you pull yourself out of his arms for a moment so you can look at him properly. He's been acting normal up until now, but when he sees the tears in your eyes, his whole face softens.
"Let's not argue right now, love, please," he begs, "Wanna take care of you, so jus' let me. We can talk about it tomorrow."
"Your award..." you choke out, but he shushes you.
"Will be waitin' for me at the club tomorrow. Me speech would have been fucked anyway, so there's nothin' to miss out on."
There's no room for argument in his voice. It's as firm as it is comforting. Relenting as the pain hits once again, you snuggle back into his arms, kissing whatever parts of him you can reach.
"Like my guardian angel," you say, trying not to sound so teary, "So grateful for you, Jamie. Love you so so much."
"Yeah, yeah, love you too," he says, brushing you off as you expected but with fondness in his tone as he pulls you even closer.
"Hey...you just said the award would be waiting. You're finally admitting that you're definitely getting it?"
He chuckles.
"Course I'm getting it. That award's mine, babe," he says, cocky smirk firmly on his face that you can only see in the reflection of the TV. Then he gasps, comically, "Do y' think they'll make Roy do me speech?"
You gasp right back, already feeling better.
"Yes! If you put it on now, we might be able to see him flip people off on the red carpet beforehand."
Jamie grins as he struggles to reach the remote and turns the TV on.
"Fuckin' genius, you are."
---
please see this post if you would like to request your own roy/jamie drabble!! closing soon <3
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dotster001 · 2 years
Note
You know what a mean entitled girl is ? Like Idia, Vil, malleus, rook, crewel and Crowley standing up for the reader who is being harassed by a mean girl?
Maybe for Crowley and crewel the reader can be a teacher and the mean girl can be a rsa teacher?
Fluff plz
(thank you for the request and for brainstorming with me! I hope they came out how you hoped 🥺 this is a long one so buckle up folks)
Cw:mean girl stuff, use of slut in rooks part, fat shaming in Crewel's, fem!reader
A/N: I've said this in my pin post, but I age up characters to actual college age, because I am in college, and didn't realize until a few months in the characters were not. Everyone here is. 18+
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Moments like these were why he hated to leave his room.
But he had promised to meet you in the library so he could help you understand magic and technology. You wanted to learn all about this world you'd been thrown into, and had been told Idia was the best person to ask about this type of magic.
It's not like he could tell you no! You were his player 2, his Persephone  (not that he'd told you that yet, but still)!
He had arrived just in time to see a richly clad preppy looking girl walk over to your table. Upon a second glance, he realized it was the daughter of one of the higher ups at Olympos INC.
He hid behind a bookshelf and waited. "You're that magicless nobody at NRC, right?"
You gave a tired laugh and gave an affirmative.
"Then you're the one Idia Shroud has been spending all his time with." He watched as she took her perfectly manicured hand and grabbed a lock of your hair, dragging you closer. He felt like he was going to be sick, and you looked like it.
The smile never left her face as she said, "Listen, dearie, Idia Shroud deserves to be with someone of his caliber, not some stupid girl who can't even perform magic." 
Idia felt something snap in him. How dare she talk to you that way! He left his hiding spot and demanded to know why she thought she could treat you like that.
The girl let go of your hair and began stuttering out an explanation but Idia wouldn't have it.
"Y/N is perfect for me! She understands me, and cares about me, and is such a bad ass. I'd like to see you defeat an overblotting mage when you have no magic!"
She continued stuttering but he interrupted. "Y/N is an SSR character, and you're just a normie. So stop wasting my time and get out of here."
She turned pale and ran. After Idia's rage had cleared he got embarrassed and realized everything he'd said.
Please give him hugs! And don't mention his pink hair! He can defend you, but actually talking to you is different, so please be patient with him!
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Vil knew he wanted to date you, but he also knew that given his position, he would have to get both you and his fans used to each other. He was doing this by hanging out with you more in public, and posting photos of the two of you on friend outings.
It was ironic that his more aggressive fans would catch up to you on the day he had planned to ask you to be his girlfriend.
You were at a cafe, and he had had you pick out a table while he grabbed your drinks. When he turned around, he saw a crowd led by  a flawlessly styled girl.
The crowd was yelling at you until the girl held up her hand for silence. "What makes you think you can date Vil Schoenheit?" "Oh, we're not…" you tried to deny it but she interrupted you. 
"I've done some research on you. And from what I can see, nothing about you is worthy of him." You looked down at the table, and he heard you faintly whisper, "you're right."
The girl grinned. "I'm glad we have an understanding. Now get out of here before you embarrass yourself further."
You stood up to leave as Vil elegantly strode over to you. He gently took your chin in his hand and gave you a soft kiss on your lips. When he pulled back, he said, "I've got our drinks, my sweet potato, but I don't think we should stay here. The people here seem much too uncouth for my preferences." You gave a shocked nod, and the two of you left, the girl's mouth gaping in shock. 
Once you reached a secondary location, Vil apologized for kissing you without permission then asked if you were alright. Once you gave him an affirmative, he gently pushed your hair out of your face and with a coy smile said, "you know, I wouldn't mind the opportunity to kiss you again. After all, you owe me for the coffee, and for saving you from that crowd."
The next day, a photo of the two of you was posted on his magicam, officially announcing your relationship, and the caption stating that he had fallen for the fairest one of all.
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Malleus and you had been dating for quite some time, but had agreed to keep it quiet until his graduation and coronation.
Unfortunately, this meant that he was still receiving unwanted attention from both men and women who wanted a political marriage.
Today, a fae woman from a well off family was spending the day with him. He knew that her family had wanted a political marriage with him, but I stead of ruining all ties, he humored her request to visit him for the day.
It was needlessly bothersome. She was truly a skin deep woman, who spent most of the day flattering him, and batting her lashes at him.
The only good part of his day was when he got to see you for a couple of minutes at lunch time. You had sought him out with some extra sweets you had bought for him, introduced yourself to the fae woman and gone on your way. 
There was no reason for his guest to think anything of your relationship, but being the only girl in an all boy's school had her immediately deem you a threat.
Now, in the midst of her flattery, she was throwing in subtle insults at you, your standing, your character, anything she thought she could glean from your brief meeting.
"I can't even imagine what it is like for you to have to attend classes with a useless human." That did it. Diplomacy be damned. He whirled in on the woman, and the sky outside grew dark and stormy.
"Useless? Where were you when I was lonely? Where were you when I needed anything? Y/N is my child of man, your future queen, and you will treat them with the respect that a human of their intelligence, kindness, and beauty deserves." The woman cowered Infront of him, thoroughly chastised. He turned on his heels, and said, "This visit is over" without looking back at her.
As he was walking away he was surprised to find you running down the hallway. When you spotted him, your face relaxed in relief and you made your way to him.
"Mal Mal! I saw the storm, are you alright?" If he hadn't already fallen for you, he would have fallen deeper in love right then with your sweet eyes looking up at him full of concern, only for him.
"Yes my child of man," he cupped your face gently. "All is well."  The storm cleared, and all was well. He would protect you no matter who he had to upset. You were worth it.
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Rook was out hunting. For you. So he wasn't really hunting, He was just watching you from the top of a tree and basking in your presence.
You probably knew he was there. You were so incisive like that. It's why you were his favorite prey. 
As he watched, he saw a girl make her way over to you. He could sense only bad intentions from her, but what kind of hunter would he be if he intervened while you defended yourself!
The girl stood in front of you and gave a sugary artificial smile. "You're Y/N, right?" Once you gave a nod, she sat down with you.
She began to talk non stop while you just sat there listening. After a while he heard her say, "You know, most of the guys here have a crush on you." Rook held back a growl. He knew that, but said men who had a crush on you had an unspoken agreement not to say anything about it.
"Oh." That was all you said in response. Rook wondered if this was the first time you'd thought about it. It seemed to be. 
"Yeah," the girl continued. "And you're the only girl at an all boy's school." You looked like you were about to ask what she was doing here then, when she said, "I'm just here visiting my brother. But from what I hear, it seems as though you enjoy the attention." She gave a withering glare. "My brother says you'll spend time with any boy who asks. One guy isn't enough for you, huh?" Rook knew it was coming, but he was still filled with rage when he heard it. "Slut."
He jumped down from the tree immediately. The girl was startled, but you were not. He was right, you'd known he was there. But the pride he'd felt from that was overshadowed by the urge to protect his lapin.
"Mademoiselle, it would be better for you not to listen to baseless rumors, and then spread them around. It is not a beautiful look for you."
She tried to swallow her shock, and retort, "It's not baseless. I heard from my brother, and she clearly relishes the attention."
Rook tilted his head to the side. "Yes, I'm sure madame trickster enjoys the men who leer at her like a piece of meat. I'm sure she enjoys having to triple check that her doors are locked at night. And I'm sure she adores having to worry about the men who she turned down, of which I'm sure your brother is one." He gave her a withering glare. "Even if she did enjoy the attention, it would be no concern of yours."
She looked frightened, but still managed to storm off. He then turned his attention to you. "Are you alright mon ange?" You nodded, and thanked him for defending you. "Non, non, to see your beautiful face married with worry would be a burden I could not bear." He playfully placed his hat on your head down over your eyes, and relished in your giggles.
He knew today wouldn't be a good time to confess, but when he did, he would definitely want to hear more of that laugh.
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After you'd graduated, and still hadn't found a way to return home, he had offered you a job at the college as his full time assistant. After a couple years, and actually getting paid for your efforts, the two of you had become closer.
Trein was preparing to retire. You were at a meeting with a prospective new teacher who was applying for his position. You were taking notes while Crowley asked her questions. It was moments like these that he couldn't see himself without you. You were just the dynamic duo!
When the interview was over, he had you show her out. He was planning on asking you to dinner after this, so he was hastily trying to finish any remaining paperwork while he waited for you to return. 
It had been quite a while, and now he was starting to worry. You had handled numerous dangerous situations by yourself, so he knew you could handle yourself. But he still felt like he should check on you.
When he found you, you looked shaken as the teacher he  was interviewing was talking down to you. "That's what I thought. All that education was wasted on you. You'll never be better than an arm candy assistant."
He waited for you to fight back, but you just looked tired. How long had she been going at you like this? You'd never give up easily, so it must have been for just slightly too long.
"Y/N, there you are, I was beginning to worry." He strode over to you, "You know I can't possibly run this school without you right? You'd been taking so long, I'd almost accidentally sold the Savannahclaw dorm!"
"Again?" You said with a roll of your eyes. There he'd gotten your mind off her insults. Now to deal with her.
"You see, I'm mostly headmage in name only at this point. Y/N here is in charge of everything, the financials, admissions, student therapy, hiring. If we lost her, the school would surely go up in flames. My graciousness can only go so far!"
At the word "hiring" he saw the teacher blanch. She made a hasty excuse and apology, and dashed out of there.
"Thanks for your kind words, headmage, but I don't really deserve…" "It's Crowley, my dear," he interrupted. "And before you start telling yourself you don't deserve praise, you should know that even though I am endlessly kind, I don't throw words around lightly. I meant every bit of it." He gently took your hand. "I would be lost without you." 
You're smile was all the thanks he needed, and the two of you stood in comfortable silence for a moment before he interrupted it. "We should probably go buy back the Savannaclaw dorm though…." "Crowley!!!!!"
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Crewel had called you and Vil into his office after the fairy gala. Crewel had offered you a part time position modeling at his side company. You'd never considered yourself conventionally attractive, but they assured you that wasn't a problem. You had a great dignity, could hold up under pressure, and looked good in Crewel's designs. That's all that mattered.
At the time you had accepted because you figured it would be a great way to make some spare change to support yourself and Grim on until you went home, but as time went on you never went home, and now you had a rather large following, a diploma from NRC, and a full time job at his modeling company.
Crewel would rather spend his time with you, but he still worked at NRC, so he had left you for the day, and hoped he would get to see you work with the designer your manager had suggested for you when he came back.
He came back to see a woman in very heavy, very real looking firs, staring at you like you were dirt.
He walked in as she was circling you, and he recognized her immediately. He made a note to himself to fire your manager, because this designer was on his do not work with list, and he walked into what was surely a blood bath.
"Ah, Divus." She said coldly. "Would you care to tell me why this is your best model? She's quite plain, and much too fat for my work, that I had assumed it was a joke when I walked in here. And! She has something against real furs, and 'non sustainably sourced material's C'mon Divus. Has your company sunk so low?"
You were not fat. You just weren't skinny enough that you could count your ribs. There were two things that Crewel would not stand for; cruelty to animals, and cruelty to humans. Without fail, this designer always did both.  Normally he would have shown her out by now, but she had clearly gotten under your skin.
"Y/N is my best model. She isn't, she's just not starved, which I know is not your preference. She's got a good head on her shoulders, and understands the long term consequences a designer like you can have on our world. It's not even her world, but she still cares more than you. That should tell you something."
She was about to interrupt, but he smacked his whip into his palm. "Bad puppies do not get to speak. You would be lucky to work with a model as wonderful as my Y/N. Unfortunately, your luck has run out, and I will need you to leave the premises immediately.
The designer left with a huff. Crewel walked over to you. "Are you alright?" You gave him a smile and an assuring nod. He placed his hand on your head and missed your hair a little. "Good pup."
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pumpkinbxtch · 8 days
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Yes well, I've been following you for a while and I like a lot of yours… Well everything, I would like to request a Leo Valdez (We all love him, I don't argue) x Children of dionysus, thank you!
love at first eightminutes sight ෴⁠
— leo valdez x children of dionysus!reader
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warnings; none, language a/n; hi! thanks for reading me. i'm so flattered 🥹 i hope you like it ): andd ik, In the photo they are cherries but let's be silly, lol.
Those 8 minutes were the toughest for Leo.
Dealing with his concentration issues when people talked about things he wasn't interested in was bad enough, but having to face someone as cute as you while that was happening didn't seem like a good decision on Dionysus's part. Leo was surprised because, being the god of wine and other pleasures, he thought Dionysus would understand.
— Valadez, are you listening? — The god tapped the table, bringing Leo's attention back. Leo saw his name on the corner of the blueprints made by Athena's children and wondered why that man never bothered to pronounce his name correctly, neither his nor anyone else's.
— Yeah, sir — Leo replied, not too enthusiastically, but it was enough for Dionysus to continue his speech, which Leo decided to ignore to keep admiring you. Seconds were enough for him to notice how your lips sparkled with some kind of gloss that tempted him even more to taste them, as well as the way you occasionally bit your lower lip, making him wonder if it tasted as sweet as your gaze, which, unlike his, was focused on your father's explanation.
— Do you understand?—Dionysus asked insistently, thinking Leo was playing dumb. Although he wasn't wrong, the son of Hephaestus nodded confidently for him to continue.
If he could get closer to you... would you smell like grapes? Maybe with a gentle breeze, he could find out, and then he wished he had Jason's power.
— Am I right? — Your father asked you in the middle of his explanation, and you nodded.
— Yes, father.
Leo opened his eyes slightly wider, hearing your voice for the first time, feeling a warmth in his fingertips warning him not to get too excited, or he would end up revealing his interest in you in front of everybody. The way you smiled at Dionysus made him truly want to be interested in what he was saying, but it was a lost cause; you had him in some kind of trance from which he didn't want to escape either. How would Leo feel if he were able to make you smile?
— Then, in this part of the plan is when you come in — Leo was startled by the sudden increase in volume and nodded repeatedly to disguise it, stealing quick glances in your direction to avoid being caught. So when your eyes met his, Leo almost burst into flames from embarrassment. You didn't immediately look away; you held his gaze, and he saw a sparkle in them that he had never seen in anyone else's. Was your mother Ariadne? Were you made of something truly divine, being one of Dionysus's only children?
A smile began to form at the corner of your lips, making Leo feel like he was about to fall flat on his face, but the table he was leaning on wouldn't allow it.
—So? — Dionysus asked, tapping the table hollowly, and the empty look in the boy's eyes said it all: He hadn't heard a damn thing. The god let out a guttural groan and rolled his eyes, muttering something about when his father's punishment would end.
You let out a laugh that immediately relaxed your father's shoulders, and to Leo, it seemed better than any power anyone else could have. Dionysus snorted and rolled up the blueprints, handing them to Leo, who clumsily took them.
—You'll figure it out, kid. Now, scram.
No, he didn't want to leave. Leo began to stammer, trying to find a reason to stay a little longer, but before he could do so, the god was dragging him toward the exit with a flick of his finger.
— Father — you called, and his attention shifted to you, halting the magic. Your father's purple eyes questioned you, and you smiled calmly as you pointed to some papers on the table that had slipped from the blueprints.
Dionysus tried to take them, but you stopped him, asking him to let you do it for him. Leo was dumbfounded. Would you accompany him to the exit? Had he died again? Why didn't it feel as bad as the first time?
Your hair shimmered in the light as you leaned over for the papers, and he noticed that your nails were painted with burgundy nail polish. Everything about you was intoxicating, new, and when you started walking, he felt a heat burning from within him as if he had taken a sip of sherry. Was it because he had fallen in love with you at first sight? Or was that the effect you had on him?
The tips of your shoes touched his, causing him to lose his balance, and you shook the notes in the air.
— I'll walk you out —you said. Dionysus glanced sideways and suppressed a curse because he knew you very well. You never approached anyone.
Leo swallowed hard and nodded, taking steps back to walk with you to the exit of the Big House.
—And well...— Your words came without warning, even to you. You didn't know you had the courage to confront a guy as handsome as him. When Leo turned to you, his curls bounced, making you want to run your fingers through them... and you did.
The brunet jerked back and started to stammer again, yeah, he always acted like don juan, but few times did someone approach him the way you were doing.
—And well?— he asked when his tongue allowed him to form something coherent. You sighed as you descended the first step.
— Are you going to ask me out, or are you going to keep staring at me every time my father calls you?
He froze, wanting to meld into the porch wood, but you didn't let that happen because you pulled him towards you, confirming many of his suspicions. Yes, you smelled like grapes, and you were more beautiful up close.
— Do you want to go out? — he managed to ask after stuttering like an idiot. He looked at your eyes shining along with the smile you showed him, and now he knew how it felt to make you smile, and he had become a fan of it.
— I'll see you around, repair boy —and you pushed him down the last porch step before going back inside.
Oh shit, to hell with the camp blueprints, he had to plan a good date for you.
*don juan: kind of womanizer but not that too much.
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tallymonster · 7 months
Text
Memories of Us
Chapter 1 (you are here!) || Masterlist
So, I like many others had seen this gorgeous fan art by @cheesy-cryptid and I was utterly hypnotized by it. I couldn't stop thinking about it and from that constant thought growing came my silly fic.
This has been a labor of love for the last month. I'm still working on it and so far I have about 10 parts 🙃 depending on the feedback is how quickly I'm going to be posting since it's still a work in progress. I want to thank my best friend and my main support for this @micropoe10 ❤️ without her I wouldn't have pushed myself to even post this, so thanks boo 😘
This is also my first long fic, so please be gentle 🥺
Summary: Octavia is a new assistant at the Baldur's Gate Museum of History, her new boss is elusive and mysterious. Good thing his right hand man, Gale, is there to help her out for the first few weeks.
Tags: Nothing too bad for the first few parts, fluff, establishing storyline mostly, generational lineage mentioned.
Chapter 1
Never Caught My Breath
The day Octavia was incredibly nervous about had arrived. After her graduation (which seemed like a lifetime ago), endless stack of paperwork and at least 3 different interviews; Octavia made it to the Baldur's Gate Museum of History, the end of her long and difficult studies.
Here, she would start as the new assistant curator. What's strange though, is that after the last interview she thought she'd get to meet her boss, but it was his main assistant, Gale.
"I must apologize", he begins, "but our lead is currently out of the office for another week, maybe two, so I must conduct the final round, I hope you understand."
Strange, but not unheard of. The majority of the work would be with Gale directly, but it was at the least, the most basic courtesy for her boss to introduce himself by this point.
As she walks into the museum, relics from the past line the cabinets; old armor and gloves from heroes of legends from long ago, tons of jewelry and books, rare spell scrolls, and most prized of all, paintings recovered from the fall of the Szarr Manor prominently hung on the walls. Their subjects long gone, they now serve to be viewed by those who would be their victims under different circumstances.
Octavia stops at one of the many paintings of a pale elf, his silver hair in perfect tendrils, piercing red eyes glare back at her and she feels a slight shudder run down her spine, it was probably just a little bit of nerves. Still, she couldn't help but notice that same subject surrounding her in other works. If not as the main feature, but in the background of at least a dozen. Who was this person? She drifts off in thought.
"Miss Octavia? Hello? Can you hear me?" Snapping back from the daydream, she sees Gale standing beside her. His positive attitude ever present, notebook in hand he greets her with a small wave. "Lots to do this morning! We got a delivery of religious artifacts from a Sharran temple in the Underdark that was previously thought to be lost." His eyes glimmer with excitement.
"We're looking at at least a day to see what was delivered, another to catalog it all, and then, my favorite part, writing the plaques for all of it." He chuckles "Altogether at least a month of work, maybe two if there's a particular item that's more mysterious than the others." He finishes his explanation with a tilt of his head.
Octavia nods, her mind still on the portrait, "Quick question, Gale? Do you know who that subject is? They're featured in a lot of the paintings, but there's no information about them?" He glances up, "Well, we've done some research into the subjects of all the paintings, luckily we've put some names to faces..." He trails off, brows furrowing slightly at the face staring at them both "that particular subject, though, unfortunately not."
He turns wearing a wistful smile "I do wish to put a name to that face, and I intend to, but our wonderful curator often reminds me that not every mystery has to be solved." He scoffs with a grin and shrugs "Of course he would, he loves to give me a hard time about my dedication to the museum, you'd think he would appreciate the tireless research but to each their own."
Octavia relaxes a bit and ask "Have you known each other long? I mean, since he's been gone this whole time I haven't gotten to meet him yet. Is he....nice?" She says the last word quietly, almost a whisper.
Gale picks up on the anxious question and lowers his notebook, his eyes softened as he leans in, "There's nothing to be nervous about with him, he's much more bark than bite, as they say. He's really wonderful once you get to know him. Just a little rough around the edges...you know these eccentrics..they're all so guarded but deep down, they're just like us regular boring people."
He grins in assurance and goes back to his notebook, "Before I forget, said eccentric has reached back out to me and he'll be returning tomorrow evening! He'd like to make your acquaintance as soon as possible and apologize for his absence." Oh, shit. "Wonderful!" She does an okay job at hiding the crack in her voice, she clears throat, grimaces a bit and adjusts the badge clipped to her smock. "When and where?"
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