#i've managed to find and make some but i really wish i had more options...

[megtheviper]

Begging for the normalization of adults wearing clip-on jewelry... 😮‍💨

#i have a medical issue that highly suggests i should not pierce my flesh #so i wear clip-on earrings and sometimes false nose rings because I love the aesthetic of shiny things on my face #but it is so hard to find clip-ons that aren't obviously made for like... children/pre-teens #i've managed to find and make some but i really wish i had more options...

[toomanytookas]

A Fic Menu for Friendship!

My cherished @schnarfer. How wonderful that our little pieces of the internet intersected such that we could meet. It really does feel like I've known you always sometimes...

And how delightful it has been to be a bit of a garçon de cuisine in your kitchen as of late! Inspired by our convo about reclists as pairing menus, for the @swiftiscruff friendship exchange^ I've whipped up a very non-serious one (liberties absolutely taken with the genre) that is a riff on your masterlist and its wonderful contents. 🖤✨

For increased accessibility/given that tumblr can sometimes be weird with images, text of the menu with some formatting preserved is available below the cut! I haven't included links because they're all findable via Al's masterlist; see above!

^Thank you to Cat and Han for creating this event! It's been so lovely to see everyone's posts.

Cafe Schnarfer

Beautiful works handcrafted by head chef Al

Tonight's Menu

-First Courses-

If Wishes Came True (3.87k)

The newest dish on our menu. A perfect tasting platter of some of our chef’s specialties: sparkling love, a character you adore but want to give a firm talking to, and endings that make the angst feel incredibly worth it.

Recommended pairing A healthy slice of cake and a cola flavoured lollipop.

Difficult (12.03k)

The first dish developed for the restaurant! A must for those who enjoy notes of instant chemistry, a bit of self-destruction, a lot of Fleabag energy, and hopeful endings.

Recommended pairing A strawberry milkshake, whipped cream vodka optional* *strongly suggested to make things a little messy, just don’t accidentally give it to the kids

-Entremet-

Purple Haze (5k)

An opportunity to take a brief break from our menu's angsty notes to indulge in a heady, vintage-styled treat. This isn’t your average op-shop find, we’re talking high-end fashion, baby!

Recommended pairing A couple of gin bucks should do the trick. Or just the ginger ale if you’re not in the mood for a buzz!

-Second Courses-

Go Your Own Way (10.87k)

A dish close to the hearts of our whole kitchen. A perfect selection for those who have fallen for a fuckboy and find it therapeutic to recognise your past in a wonderfully raunchy but still angsty story. The finish of this dish manages to incorporate senses of both sadness and hopefulness, making for a cathartic aftertaste.

Recommended pairing A warming Mexican hot chocolate. You'll appreciate how it matches the spice and provides you with some added comfort when things get achy.

Endurance (15.11k)

You will never forget the first time you experience this dish and will always find a way to convince yourself that you aren’t boring for ordering it time after time. A slice of spiciness coupled with a heavy dash of the forbidden add immense depth to a texturally rich feast full of historical flavour.

Recommended pairing A U.S. Army-issued chocolate bar and maybe a prairie oyster for the vibes. But then make sure to treat yourself to some actually  nice-tasting chocolate.

-Dessert-

The Kit Kat Trilogy (16.25k)

The dessert you’ll think about for 10 years and then come back for more. Save room because it is full of delicious angst and delightful romance that you won’t be able to help but consume whole. On a day when you’re low on time, you’ll consider stopping by for just another taste of this memorable sweet treat, we guarantee it.

Recommended pairing A full roast dinner. Even if it’s just for yourself. And maybe a glass of champagne to throw at the wall when things get angsty for a sec.

-Digestifs-

Dial Drunk (7.70k)

Let’s celebrate the end of our meal with lots of hope that emerges from some long-endured darkness.

Recommended pairing The loveliest hot breakfast you could possibly make, full of all your favourites and with plenty of food to go round.

Illicit Affairs (7.47k)

Let’s derail the end our meal with a real hot mess. Maybe you’ll wish you had picked the sweeter option, but, damn, you’ll enjoy the deeply achy ride.

Recommended pairing Wrap yourself in a blanket warm from the dryer for this one. And maybe have some water? The lack of flavour will be a good break from the intensity of it all while still keeping you hydrated.

I love you, Al! 🖤😘

#PPCUGiftExchange2024 #reclist #author: schnarfer

[phoenixcatch7]

Thinking about possible totk dlc again... Listen, we all know we want it XD.

Thing is, I've read the interviews, and I think Nintendo is right. There's just no more mechanics they can add to the game without completely breaking it. Totk is maxxed out on mechanics and options and playability. There really is nothing more they can add ability wise without bogging the whole thing down and causing a million problems, both for themselves and players.

But that's not all there is in a game, is there?

There's master mode, for one. Gold enemies are missing from totk entirely, never mind all the craziness of regenerating enemies, new mob camps just floating around, the gleeok they'd probably put on the great sky island. People loved master mode in botw, there's no reason not to at least drop that button back in.

But... People do have a few complaints. There's stuff they're missing, stuff that leaves loose ends, stuff that wasn't explained well enough. It all mostly boils down to one thing.

Story.

We could have an answer to where the divine beasts and all the sheikah tech went. We could find a giant scrapyard at the bottom of a new/old chasm because hyrule tossed everything in that could be pried up. There could be like five remaining active guardians, just so we can mess them up like we did in botw. There's voids where water is on the surface, there's plenty of space! It'd solve both the 'where tf did they go' and the 'man I wish we still had guardians' issue in one fell swoop.

We could get casual dialogue that all the divine beasts were driven out to sea and sunk! I don't know! Some sort of closure! We could talk about generational trauma responses! The instinctive fear of sheikah tech if there is one! Link is certainly canonically traumatised, did you see him with the first sky tower??

We could get wolfie back! Update his teleportation code so he can keep up with our stupid endeavours and not get caught in crossfire! Make him immune to zonai tech, idk.

We could get a resolution to kass and Penn! That whole storyline ended so sadly, and the lack of kass is straight up disturbing. We could rescue him from the depths where he fell in or smth idk!! Just because you're a bird does NOT mean you can fly a kilometer + straight up in pitch black through a narrow cylinder with lethally toxic sides. Now he's got enough material for life! (and probably trauma. The only food down there is stuff the yiga brought, which - well, it's not like they'd worry about thieves down there.

That stupid chef from lookout landing who ran off to the castle. That's TOTALLY a quest come on :(. Let him come home.

More lookout landing expansion, if you're desperate for stuff that isn't 90% dialogue! Please let me install bigger towers and a bathing area and more shops or SOMETHING. Little outlet stalls from every capital! Let me rebuild the first home in castle town! I! D! K!

More newspaper news! We could randomise it like the spider man ps4 news feed, that was hilarious. Absolute hogwash rumours and stupid feuds between neighbours and the results of pumpkin growing competitions! Mix it up, traysi had bonkers stuff, it was so good. What does life look like from inside the world?

Hylia gossip? We know she doesn't keep strictly to her 'find shrine rewards for increased gains, link' thing. Let her ask link for random stuff for 'power buffs' and give him, like, a random buff that lasts precisely 24 minutes.

Maybe even a 'now we opened the plateau again, people want to investigate' side plot. No one wanted to see :(. I didn't like that the only people up there were yiga :((. Send some new research team dude to wax lyrical and beg link for photos of different areas or symbols.

Gloom hands should be able to attack link in the depths. This would solve nothing and in fact make things much worse, but it happened to me twice and it was so much worse than on the surface lol.

Maybe some idiot managed to make it to a Sky island with balloons but now they can't get down, whoops lol. Some of them really aren't that high up and there's a lot of very determined people XD.

Someone's been captured by the yiga and link has to do a full infiltration and smuggle them the keys to their cell. Come on, the yiga base is underutilised!!

The gerudo stable was being shut down because of the sandstorm turning away travellers. After we solve that, maybe we could help reopen it? It made me so sad...

Link vs the flower lady. She wants a sample of every single flower in hyrule to get it all nice for her majesty! She remembers his crimes...

Link and the new sages could have a silly bonding quest each! Let him test his mettle against them in a spar! I don't know!

The ability to pet dogs and horses! An idle sitting animation that makes link sit down properly to enjoy the view!

Heck, a master cycle equivalent....

There's just a almost infinite amount of options available for real, actual content, it doesn't just have to be new mechanics and new dungeons. Yes, it gets the adrenaline going, but neither the fans nor Nintendo want nor need more of that.

We know the story is more lacking in botw/totk than previous zelda games, an understandable and acceptable sacrifice when you're working with such a huge and complex open world as this, but this is the perfect opportunity to fix that, Nintendo, don't you see? Give that incredibly elaborate coding a break and give the writers something else to chew on.

Tag what quest line or question you want answered in the comments or tags!

#long post #I had a lot of ideas #loz #legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #totk #loz totk #botw totk #zelda totk #botw #tloz #tloz totk #tloz botw #the legend of zelda #It'd probably be a lot cheaper than installing yet more mechanics into that poor incredible physics engine too lmao #loz tears of the kingdom #tloz tears of the kingdom #totk dlc #Totk ideas

[strawberrymilk-sunshine]

Absolutely anything

Platonic yandere older brother Azul with an adopted human sibling reader.............. I think that could be cool.......

Warning(s): platonic yandere, manipulation, not sure how good this will be but I hope you like it!!

One day, a human baby was abandoned at sea.

Before the baby could succumb to hypothermia or tip over the small raft it was in and drown, A kind octopus lady found it. She fed the baby a potent water breathing potion so she can take care of it while she tries to find out who its parents are...

The parents never come forward, and seeing no other option, she adopts the baby as her own.

That baby was you, (Y/N) Ashengrotto. You're a human child who grew up under the sea...

For the longest time, you and your brother, Azul, were frequently bullied and felt like you could only rely on each other. It didn't matter that you two were bullied, as long as you had each other, you could handle anything...

Absolutely anything.

Recently, you started attending Night Raven College, the same school Azul goes to! An elite college for mages!

But... the most important part is... it's on land.

You've rarely ever gone on land... it feels so strange. Your body is built for the land, but you've lived underwater your whole life, so the situation just feels... wrong.

You were placed into Scarabia, but you still made sure to check in with your brother and give him a hug before you made your way to your new dorm...

However, the very next morning, right after orientation, you say the Headmage in your dorm room, who then told you that you were being transferred to Octavinelle. When you asked why, you were simply told that a student who wished to remain anonymous complained about you.

You were so sad. You were so excited to begin your new life on land, and had you loved how warm it was in Scarabia, it was so much nicer than the cold temperatures of the northern Coral Sea... but, it seems things just don't work out some times...

...

At least your brother is in Octavinelle.

...as long as you two are together, you can... you can handle anything, right...?

"Someone complained about you?" Azul asked you as he helped you set up your dorm room. "But it's the day after orientation! How did you manage to make such a bad first impression that someone wanted you gone on the first day?"

"I... I really don't know..." You said.

"Well, regardless, I'm sure you'll love it here in Octavinelle. I'll make sure you have a good time." Azul smiled and patted you on the back.

"...thanks."

Azul simply couldn't have his precious little sibling being in a different dorm than him.

Ah, but he doesn't want you to be miserable, of course... he'll take every precaution to make sure you enjoy yourself!!

You've really enjoyed your time on land! It feels so much more... natural to you...

"Azul..." You began one day.

"Yes? What is it?"

"I've been thinking..." You paused. Do you really want this? ...yes, you do. "I've been considering staying on land after graduation."

Azul's hearts dropped the moment he heard you say that.

"Staying on land? That's absurd! Your family lives underwater! Why would you... want to leave your family...?" Azul cautiously asked.

"No, it's not like that!" You insisted. "Of course I don't want to leave my family... I love you, and mom, and dad, but I..." You sighed. "I just want to figure myself out..."

"Figure yourself out? What are you talking about?!" Azul yelled, looking almost betrayed.

"I just want to know more about myself, you know...? I want to know why I was abandoned, what life on the surface is really like, and why-"

"Your human family abandoned you, what more do you need to know?!" Azul yelled. "...you should just stay under the sea. Isn't life better down there?"

You stared at Azul for a moment.

"No. I want to learn what it really means to live on land... I want-"

"We're done discussing this."

You noticed your life slowly getting worse after that day.

People started bullying you for not knowing how things worked on land. You started getting made fun of for things you weren't before...

And it all came out of nowhere.

But it's ok... just as he always was, your brother was there for you.

As long as the two of you are together... you can handle... anything...

...

Can't you...?

That would be the case for the rest of your life at NRC.

You hated it, you absolutely hated it...

That completely ruined your view of the surface. You didn't want to live above the waves anymore.

You just wanted to go back home...

When you graduated and returned home to the sea, you were met once more with your lovely brother.

He looked so happy to see you...

"I'm so glad you decided to stay under the sea with your family... with me..." Azul sighed as he gave you a tight hug. "...(Y/N). I have something I want to talk to you about..."

"What is it...?" You asked, cautiously.

"Follow me."

Azul led you somewhere...

A spot only the two of you knew about... a place you would hide together when he wasn't in his octopus pot...

It gave you a nostalgic feeling... as if, for just a second, you were back in your childhood... like nothing truly mattered...

"(Y/N), I... I have a deal for you." Azul told you.

"You... y-you do...?" You were surprised and confused.

"Yes. It's all right here." He snapped his fingers and summoned a golden contract and fishbone pen. "I remember, when you were a kid... you'd talk about how you just wanted to be like all the other kids... I remember you cried to me about wishing you had a tail, or tentacles like mom and I..." He handed you the contract and pen. "If you just sign here, you'll get everything you ever wanted... you'll get to be just like the other kids."

You grabbed the contract and began to read it over, before Azul grabbed it back from you again.

"N-no no, no...! There's no need to read it over, just... sign it." Azul paused, before smiling. "You trust your brother... don't you...?"

...

Of course you do.

Of course you trust your brother.

After all, when you're together, you can handle anything...

Absolutely anything.

You signed your name.

"That's good." Azul said as some kind of magic bubble encased you... and the spell began to take it's effect.

The spell was painful, you could hardly stop yourself from screaming out in pain.

"I know it hurts, (Y/N), I'm sorry... but this is what's best for you..." Azul sighed. "Of course, this means you'll never be allowed to go to the surface again, but... it's not like it matters... you have everything you could ever want down here!"

He's right...

Everything you could ever want, it's here, under the sea...

Sure, Azul will make sure you never go to the surface again, but does that really matter if you're surrounded by your loving family?

...no.

No, it doesn't...

Because when you and Azul are together...

You can handle anything the world throws at you.

#azul ashengrotto #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst #yandere #platonic yandere #yandere x reader #platonic yandere x reader #yandere azul ashengrotto #yandere azul x reader #yandere azul ashengrotto x reader #yandere azul

[crippleprophet]

[ID: a reply by @girlcalledwhatsername on this post (link). the reply reads: “hey, how do the blackout curtains help with this? I've been having similar reading troubles for some years and I'm looking into different ways I can help it.” end ID]

thank you for this reply because i’ve been meaning to make a post about that & forgot! so i’ve had my issues with light for ages because of sensory processing + chronic migraines, but i developed more general light sensitivity about two years ago (probably due to a combination of dry eyes + UV sensitivity from rheumatological issues).

this has gotten way worse as i developed me/cfs, to the point where a few weeks ago if i woke up during daylight hours it’d be impossible to get back to sleep because even with the blinds fully shut & all my covers pulled over my head & my eyes shut, i’d be too fatigued / pained by the light to do anything but lay there feeling like shit.

& that was the point at which i got blackout curtains, and i wish i’d done it years ago back when i thought my light sensitivity “wasn’t bad enough” to merit it, because holy fuck. obviously i’m still super impaired (i’m fully homebound atm) but my fatigue, cognition, & mood have been so drastically improved, it’s literally been a difference of night & day (with night being the better option). so now i can read on my tablet in my little batcave without taking constant poison damage.

obv not a universal solution, & even though i got a comparatively cheaper model (i wanna say like $25 each for curtain set + rod?) they’re unfortunately definitely financially prohibitive for a lot of folks, but if you experience issues with light at any level of severity & have the means it could be worth a try! even if that’s not your biggest / main factor, making things a little easier on my body in a small way that’s within my control often has unexpected positive effects on the more severe issues i don’t have the resources to manage.

i really hope you’re able to find a solution that brings you some relief. sending you love & luck for your continued search 💓💓

#blackout curtains #light sensitivity #photophobia #me/cfs #chronic fatigue #fatigue #chronic migraines #uv sensitivity #reading #mac.txt #girlcalledwhatshername

[farfarrencupid]

About Her - Levi Ackerman & Daughter!Reader

Synopsis | Levi Ackerman is not fond of people. That being said, with a daughter in tow, he must learn who to trust if he wants both of you to make it out alive. Just long enough so he can see you grow up

A/N | this is not LEVI X READER as in ROMANTIC!! IT IS STRICTLY FAMILIAL

**I had originally posted this from my old blog, but I've since deleted it. So I'm reposting it here! If you find another version of this titled ‘Red Winter’, that’s the old one

Levi became a father young.

At the age of 19, a one night stand resulted in accidental pregnancy, and when the girl found out at two weeks, she decided she wanted nothing to do with the baby, as her parents would disown her for getting pregnant so young

and with a man she barely knew

Levi agreed to raise the child on his own; so when you were born, you were dumped on your father and your biological mother never spoke with Levi again

Levi had no idea how to raise a baby.

By some God given miracle, or perhaps just fatherly instinct, he managed to keep you alive.

at the age of 21, He had 2 companions who helped care for you, and who were the only other people to know of your existence beside your father

They weren’t allowed to hold you or be near you unless Levi was also in the room, but they cooed over your chubby cheeks and loved you like older siblings all the same

Running a crime ring with Farlan and Isabel certainly got him enough money to buy you food and keep a roof over your head, but it was never enough to get you a home on the surface like he wished

Until he was offered a job, which led to him being cornered by the Survey Corps

When Erwin Smith offered him a position in the Survey Corps and to be cleared of their crimes, as opposed to what could be a life sentence, he knew he couldn’t rot in jail and leave you alone

Or worse; be put in a home that wasn’t with him.

“She’s almost 2, you know.”

“Hm?”

“My daughter. What will happen to her if I agree to join you?”

Erwin knew by the look of him, Levi wouldn’t agree to any options that separated him from you

“We can house her with you and the other scouts, if you’d prefer. But I’m not sure how the other men housing with you would handle a baby.”

That was a good enough answer for Levi. He wouldn’t let you go anywhere he couldn’t follow

Your 2nd birthday came and went as he, Farlan, and Isabel were stationed at a cantonment somewhere between Trost and Ragako

the other scouts quickly learned how strange of a child you really were. You didn’t cry or fuss very much–which they were thankful for, but you stared

a lot.

You would sit off to the side while Levi went through what the other scouts called “training”. For him it was nothing more than a breeze

However, your eyes stayed glued to him at all times

It freaked out some of the other scouts–unnerved them, even–that a 2 year old had a stare so intense

Hange was easily fascinated by you and your odd behavior, rambling on about how toddlers are normally very hyperactive and tend to be very loud and/or whiny, But as long as you could at least see your father, you remained quiet and content

The only thing was your stare

Levi was easily very protective of you, not letting anyone touch or hold you (Especially not Hange. That lunatic was too rowdy)

The maids were responsible for you whenever Levi wasn’t around, which was rarely

When time came for the 23rd expedition, Levi hounded the housewives responsible for watching you while he was gone; He made the message very clear you were to be kept clean, safe, and happy

And you were :)

But they still feared for their lives

By the time he returned, he had been so disheartened he just silently took you back to the barracks without saying a word to anyone

That night he hugged your tiny body into his side and cried silently in his bunk

Coming to trust Erwin had been… a process. But by the time your were 5 he trusted Erwin enough to let him hold you

Erwin sat you on his shoulders, and you got so excited about being up so high up you talked the scouts’ ears off for six hours

Levi didn’t let him hold you after that.

Erwin did it again anyway.

When you were 8, Levi finally let you ride on the horses with him when they traveled between cities, as long as they weren’t on an expedition

You grew close with the housekeepers in the barracks, then being your only companions while your father and the other soldiers were away

You had also grown to look up to the soldiers, a lot of them growing protective of you as well

Growing up around soldiers taught you to harden your exterior, to not let anything get under your skin, even if you were a bit sensitive. They taught you what soldiers were made of

When wall Maria fell, you were 10

You stayed with the maids in the barracks for a week, not seeing Levi once while he did what he could during the tragedy.

Not even they could raise your spirits.

As the world fell apart around you, Levi became just the slightest bit distant, and you didn’t fail to notice it

He was trying to protect you from the death and despair he carried with him, he didn’t want you to see how soulless he felt every time he returned from wall Maria

He knew how compassionate you were

So kind, hearing about the casualties would no doubt tear you apart

You certainly had more soul than he did, he thought

When you turned 12, you told him you wanted to join the scouts, like him

You’d known how much you wanted to join the Survey Corps for years, just seeing how hard they all trained and fought to protect children like you–children who did nothing and knew nothing of the horrors beyond the walls

You knew nothing about titans either, you’d never seen one in person. but you wanted to put your heart on the line like the soldiers you grew up with

Erwin, Hange, Levi’s new squad, they had a feeling you wanted to join the scouts but they never expected you to actually tell your dad. To his face. In the middle of the mess hall, no less.

“I want to join the scouts!” You came out with it, somehow, and instantly the entire mess hall got quiet. What little courage you had gathered instantly vanished.

“No way.”

You and Levi talked about everything, never any secrets between the two of you, but this was something else

In the end, the two of you only had each other, and a decision like this he didn’t want to consider no matter how much he felt it coming

It took forever, a lot of arguing, but eventually he agreed to let you go, as long as you joined his squad after graduating so he could protect you

So you agreed.

2 years after the fall of Wall Maria, you set off to join the scouts in what would be the 104th Cadet Corps

#attack on titan #snk #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #Levi Ackerman #erwin smith #snk x reader #aot x y/n #platonic fic #levi headcanons #Levi Ackerman as a dad #aot fluff #slight angst

[outsidereveries]

in the eight issue you will see...

how hyolyn is viewed by her seniors and juniors: the male idols see her as someone who brings the older generations back in one way or another, perhaps they feel that nostalgia from that time via hyolyn herself. they appreciate her for her versatility and talents. the female idols on the other hand see her as very impactful woman, they might idolise her in one point or another. i can see the other female idols see hyolyn as someone who is destined to be a trendsetter in some way, or to change her industry. they also appreciate her balanced personality.

seventeen, bts bond: overall their bond (between the two groups) is individual by its own and i can see that some members are more close than others (like jungkook and mingyu). both groups can be accepted as quite close while not communicating often (obviously why) in my opinion.

evnne career reading (until march 24'): they have the chance to become more relevant, possibly on tiktok or another social media. i do see someone shining more than the rest of the boys, possibly an earth sun sign idol /jeonghyeon, seungeon/.

how zb1 see evnne: zb1 are very optimistic for evnne and their future, so overall the thoughts are very positive! they wish only great things to happen^^

cha eunwoo, ideal type: someone real. he seems to be into these people who are authentic to their true self, no matter if he likes their personality fully or not. he might be into these type of smart people who know what and when they have to do everything when it's needed. someone who's organized by schedule if that's possible and also very chill. i do see some distinctive things such as weaker immune system (might have to wear warmer clothes in fickle or colder weather, i do imagine them wearing hats, bigger scarfs and puffer jackets around that time), making long skincare routines (possibly due to their skin, if it's more sensitive), being more emotional (like raw emotions all over themselves when they share everything surrounding themselves to eunwoo) only in front of him but have an emotionless face in front of other people, adventures (like bungee jumping!). possibly manager/ceo or similar job, related to (some sort of) leadership.

onlyoneof rie, ideal type: in the most positive way possible, i see rie is into these type of people who are struggling, like literally (mental, physical, financial even). i've seen similar things for other idols (that they see someone who's struggling as their ideal type) and as long i try to be as neutral as possible, rie is just the most optimistic out of all of them. he literally wants to be the "superman" in their eyes, like a psychologist, consult or dietolog. he seems to be into people who can be their best version of themselves when they're by his side. i am not sure if these thoughts of him are healthy or toxic, but i feel he is geniune and means well. he wants to be useful for someone and more or less to find his purpose of life. so overall keywords, he doesn't care about specific traits, he just wants to be by their side, no matter if they're good or bad.

jude bellingham, ideal type: someone whose life is very dynamic (similar to his, so possibly in the same or as public environment as his), who is very honest and doesn't sugarcoat everything they say. i don't see anything else but they can be in the law field or doing everything very fast too.

what svt mingyu feels towards jeon somi: very hopeful, very nice feelings from what i see and feel. mingyu seems to like somi a lot (i'll let other speculations be as what it is because it can be both options) and would really like to be at least very good friends. he seem to believe they would match!!

ateez, general reading: not that well as it seems, the boys seem to be in some form of isolation, i personally think that dramatic moment that I saw had happened, it looks like it's another thing though, I remember sunny (from X) has said that a producer or someone from the company, cannot remember, might depart from kq and it looks like it or similar thing has happened because ateez seem to be very dependant on that person, nothing else

yunho ateez, ideal type: basically, ✨the dream girl✨. i don't see any significant traits except optimistic, positive, dreamy, very romantic, like it feels like it's too obvious.

onlyoneof mill, ideal type: similar as jude bellingham, mill is possibly into people who are brutally honest, true to themselves (maybe less than eunwoo if i have to compare) but also very persistant, stubborn too i'd say at some point. alao innocent, clever, similar qualities and traits

what jungkook thinks of the drama uk army did: i believe he is indifferent and doesn't care. i can see that he thinks positively about that because he believes this brings more success to seventeen as a group.

zb1, 2024 career: at some point it will backfire the relevance they'll build with the time - from this uuuuup to this loooooow. i can see that it will be very great in the beginning but until the end, it will be worse than the beginning.

gunwook's relevance after 2nd comeback (the request was after crush era but since it passed when i asked, i modified it): probably the same as previous eras (only relevant to these who bias him). his popularity is unstable and might not work as expected but it definitely won't be enough, he seems to be not appreciated enough from netizens :(

update, hao's career after zb1: quite dynamic, he will still leave yuehua, but after that, nothing else, whatever the fate is for him, it will happen. i still see the same shit, i am sorry :((

due to limit of hashtags, the 8th issue stops here.

#outsidereveries #murmur journal #tarot reading #tarot #kpop tarot #kpop tarot reading #tarot kpop #kpop #kpop reading #tarot reading kpop #sistar #seventeen #seventeen kpop #bts #evnne #zb1 #zerobaseone #ioi #how someone sees another #bond tarot #career tarot #how someone feels another #how someone sees a situation #astro #onlyoneof #jude bellingham #ateez #someone’s ideal type #general tarot

[miloscat]

[Review] Even the Ocean (PS4)

A unique and soulful puzzle-platformer.

Anodyne 1 and 2 are really special games, so it's past time for me to catch up on the rest of the Analgesic catalogue from Melos Han-Tani and Marina Kittaka. This is their second game together, and takes on the puzzle-platformer genre but with a heavy emphasis on story.

Compared to the Anodyne games, the themes are a little more straightforward and the world more grounded than their abstract dreamlike spaces. The story deals with environmental and social issues, but with strong characters who feel very human and real through their dialogue. The story opens with the death of a minor character, but rather than exploiting it for dramatic stakes and moving on, the entire rest of the game sees you forming a friendship with her grieving partner, discussing deep topics with her and so on. As the game goes on and the stakes are further raised, it still takes the time for smaller moments and well-drawn minor characters.

This emotional content and social commentary is the strongest part of the game, not to say that the gameplay parts aren't also good. But the puzzle platforming can feel isolated or distinct from these aspects. The mechanics of it do tie into the worldbuilding which is linked to the themes though. In this sci-fi fantasy world, the main governing principle is the two energy types: light/green/vertical, and dark/purple/horizontal. Everything is built around this central idea.

Our protagonist Aliph has to balance the two energy types while blocking with a directional shield. She has a personal energy bar and when interacting with objects and obstacles this shifts between the two extremes. Charge yourself with dark and you walk faster, with light and you jump higher. But rather than a traditional health system, if you fill up completely on one or the other you die. Basically all interactable elements are aligned with either energy, and this leads to all sorts of clever puzzles along with the balancing act of managing your own tendency.

Progression through the puzzle spaces is mostly linear and I didn't find it very challenging for most of the runtime. There is a lot of customisation though, and you can choose if you want to just play the action parts or the story parts, as well as gameplay modifications to make it more manageable if you're having trouble. This makes the game very accessible, although oddly there is no option for button reassignment.

As I've come to expect with Analgesic games, there is also an extensive postgame although Even the Ocean takes it to extremes I haven't yet seen in their catalogue. You get new options to zoom around, warp, and display minimaps but most of all you get an entire new game world consisting of rough drafts and earlier versions of levels filled with developer commentary. This really opens the door on the development of the game and is really interesting from an archival perspective, having this behind the scenes content in playable form within the game itself. You get to see assets from when all the environment pixel art was made by hand (the final game uses art from larger images outside of the "dungeon" areas), as well as much more complex and difficult level design ideas.

These in-depth offerings are such a fascinating look at what the game could have been that I couldn't help but wish that some of it had made it to the final product, that we had more polished forms of these more challenging puzzles. On the other hand, the choices made to simplify the art production process I thought resulted in a fantastic end product, the interesting character designs coming through well in pixel form against the beautiful and moody backdrops.

Either way, these extras are remarkable, a candid conversation with the player on how the game was shaped and when you are directly told the rationales it's hard to argue that Melos and Marina made the right decisions to make the game memorable and accessible, and the game as a whole is much stronger and more interesting for having them. Please spend some time exploring the postgame if you give this a go! Anyway, although I have quibbles with the slow difficulty curve and the sometimes awkward menus, Even the Ocean ended up being another unique offering from Analgesic, packed full of ideas and heart.

#even the ocean #analgesic productions #indie #review #ps4

[obitv]

thanks for 200 followers! have this :3

during the timeskip, william and vyncent decide to go dancing.

read on ao3 here!

You really need to learn to think before you speak. Like, now. Yesterday, even! Any point that was before right fucking now!

Inviting Vyncent to hang out outside the base? Sure, normal. You've been staying in the rubble of the old base for a few weeks now and it's still... unsettling. And you live together, of course hanging out is normal! Trying to experience normal teenage things now that you two have some downtime? Yes, sure! Normal!

Asking Vyncent if he wants to go clubbing? NOT. NORMAL.

He asks you to explain yourself. Of course. Because you really had to put your foot in your mouth there.

"It's, uh- A nightclub? A bunch of people our age go there to... dance? And there's music and drinks? It's- You don't have to go, I was just throwing it out there, ha,  mean I've never even gone-"

"Cool. Sounds fun! When do we go?"

Oh, you're so fucked.

--

You find a nightclub. Or- Less find, more remember - totally not because you'd fantasised about this for days or anything, but because after Harlem brought you to one you went find which club he had been in, and subsequently memorise any other places you could possibly go, if you ever wanted to. Just to avoid him.

The infinitely worse part is when you spend far too long fretting about outfits. You spare a brief thought to wish you could talk to your old friends right now, but you manage to scrounge up something.. nicer than your usual. Tight ripped jeans you pretend you didn't steal from Ashe, indie band tee from some show you went to when you were 14, a worn dark leather jacket. And- Eyeliner. A little. You also pretend you don't remember much from Ashe's rambles about makeup, but that advice stuck with you.

You do not tell Vyncent about the unofficial dress code, and yet he picks up on it anyway. Probably keyed in when you started scrabbling through the rubble to pull that jacket out of what remains of your closet.

"Will? Do I need to.. dress differently?"

You will your voice not to squeak miserably. You fail. "N-o..? You- I'm sure how you usually dress is ok, y'know, they don't REALLY have a dress code? You- you'll be fine. Probably. Uh- Definitely. Totally... fine."

"There's a DRESS CODE?"

Which is how you end up standing next to a shirtless Vyncent Sol with a pile of clothes in front of you. If you had told the you from 6 months ago about this, he probably would've passed out on the spot. You aren't doing much better yourself.

You're trying very hard not to ask why, exactly, Vyncent owns low rise jeans. You're trying in general not to acknowledge that at all, actually, which is thankfully made slightly easier as Vyncent put those on BEFORE coming to ask you what to wear, so you didn't have to give any input on them. It's not like they're excessively tight or anything, just- He's not wearing a shirt. And Vynce may not be packed with muscle like Dakota but he isn't as stick thin as you and- You have eyes, ok!

But you are using those eyes for a much more acceptable task - helping Vyncent pick a shirt. So that he stops being all... That. You've narrowed the pile down to just two options before your brain melts and you tell him that "both- both of those are fine!" while mentally patting yourself on the back for almost making a full sentence after that whole ordeal.

You head outside before you can make a bigger fool of yourself, climbing through the rubble of the entrance and letting the cool evening air refresh your brain while you still can. Winter is quickly settling into the city, and you definitely aren't wearing enough layers to be out right now. You hope the walk can warm you up.

Vyncent comes up next to you right when you start having to fight back shivers. Bastard never even notices the cold, something about being used to higher altitudes. That's... something you should ask more about, probably. Not tonight though. Tonight is not a night for potentially emotional conversations.

Aside from your wandering thoughts, the walk is nice. The chill clears a bit with exercise and good company, and your jitters. Vyncent seems excited, thankfully, even if he's definitely out of his comfort zone. But so are you! Which makes this... maybe count as a bonding experience. If all goes to shit you can share the misery, and if things go well... Well. You can always hope.

You end up in a part of town that's still bustling even this late in the evening. Music and conversations blend together into one, filling the air. There's even colourful lights strung up between the buildings, almost making up for the lack of stars. Vyncent is looking all around at them - and you realise for all you guys went out together before, none of your patrols or explorations had taken him to this part of the city before, at least not after dark. You give yourself a moment to admire him - the lights here probably wash you out, but the faint colours reflect off his eyes and almost make them sparkle.

Before he notices you, you grab his arm and gesture to one of the open doorways nearby. A neon sign reading FERDINAND'S flashes above it, and together you walk over.

The music hits you as soon as you get near the door, a pulsing wave of bass from the speakers, and you spare a moment to turn back to where Vyncent is trailing behind you, still faintly starstruck.

"Hey, Vynce. You- just let me know if you wanna leave, ok? If it sucks we can just go home and watch a movie."

His gaze snaps to you, and he takes a breath. Straightens his posture a bit, like he's preparing to go into a fight, which you try not be amused by. He shakes his arm out of your loose grip and smiles at you. "Yeah, yeah. I still wanna check it out though!"

So in you go.

-

Clubbing... isn't something you have much experience with. You'd planned to go out, before, but you left Deadwood too early to really go anywhere. And the time with Harlem scared you out of trying to go anywhere while he could be around, so really your experience is limited to, uh. Next to nothing? So sue you for not knowing what to expect.

It's loud, for one. Obviously, but it's not loud in a bad way, just in a way that lets you feel the beat all the way in your bones, in a way that leaves little room for thought other than the beat. It's much warmer in here, though still not as crowded as you'd feared. Come to think of it, you're not sure what day of the week it is? But it's clearly not peak. The bar is crowded, sure, but it's barely two people deep at worst, and there's even free seats.

You hesitate to leave Vyncent, but when you gesture at a booth and then at the bar he seems to get the idea. He heads to get a table, and you go to grab yourself the drink you're definitely going to need to keep your head around here. You don't plan on drinking much, if any more than just one, but a little liquid courage feels like it'd be nice right around now. You order your beer, look back at Vynce, and order a second in case he wants it. You probably should've asked before he left.

You get them quickly though, and weave your way across the floor to reach him. He's still staring at everything, and it almost makes you wonder how the fuck you two had gotten past the bouncer. He takes one of the bottles out of your hands, but scrunches his nose up after sniffing it and puts it down on the table closer to you. That answers that, then.

Overall, it's a nice club. More of a pub on this level than a nightclub, really, but you know there's a proper dance floor around somewhere. The music is good, too, nothing too overplayed, and a fair bit you've never even heard before.

"I thought you said there'd be dancing?"

It's almost hard to hear him over the music, but you have to admit it's true. You brace yourself, throwing back the last of your drink, and stand up.

"C'mon! It's, uh, over this way, I think?" Fucking Vyncent and his elf hearing doesn't have any trouble with hearing you over the noise, getting up and walking with you before you resorted to getting really close for him to hear you.

Whatever. The dance floor is downstairs from the main bar, and- Wow. There's definitely more people down here, but still blessedly not packed. You hadn't considered that- well- There'd be other people here.

Vyncent, though, perks up. He was a pretty good dancer back at the party you won't ever talk about, now that you think about it. It's definitely a similar vibe, just less possessed highschoolers and more drunk college students. He's much less reserved than you, immediately heading to join the dancers while you hang back and watch.

The music is different down here, but still not bad. There's multicoloured lights shining all over the main floor, catching on people's hair, clothes, eyes, and Vyncent is... fucking stunning. He's in a league of his own out there. Going from partner to partner and somehow, he's just as amazing as he is in combat. You had assumed most of his skill had come from the whole possession deal back at the party, but this is actually him choosing. No tangos on this floor, but that doesn't put a dampener on him at all.

There's a break in the music, eventually. Vyncent comes back to where you're lurking, panting but smiling. He's gorgeous. Someone's body glitter has rubbed off on him, somehow, and the cascade of lights makes him glow. You haven't seen him this- happy, since before everyone left.

It's a.. scary thought. You want him to be able to be this happy forever, and in this moment you'd do anything he asked if he kept smiling at you like that. So, of course, when he holds his hand out to you and asks you to dance, you say yes.

Seriously. Think before you say things, Wisp! But Vyncent's hand is warm in yours, and you're just buzzed enough to not feel like hundreds of eyes are pinned to your every move, and the music is shaking your bones with every beat. To be fair, you've wanted this for... far longer than you'd like to admit.

You faintly recognise whatever song is playing. It's fast, and is probably going to be burned into your brain forever, because you are dancing with Vyncent fucking Sol.

[this is where i'll be, so heavenly, so come and dance with me, michael]

He drops your hand once you're properly in the crowd, which is a shame, but he starts dancing and you try to mimic him and others around you. It's easier than you'd thought, to not worry about the other people around you. Whenever you'd pictured something like this, you'd underestimated how it'd feel to really be here, with Vyncent watching you and laughing, seemingly carefree.

You think he's never looked more beautiful than he does right now. You desperately want to tell him, so, so desperately, but instead you let yourself laugh with him, moving closer to the beat. You're moving in an imitation of some formal dance, a back and forth just between yourselves. It's impossible to stop smiling at him now that you've started, and maybe you're happier than you've been in a long time too.

It's- a bit of a blur, after that. There are times where Vyncent reaches a hand out to you and you dance together like that, a raver's waltz. He spins you a few times, and you're breathless with laughter after each one. You step out for a break, and Vyncent goes between various partners - but for once you don't feel that stab of jealousy, because his eyes keep darting back to you and he smiles wider each time. At some point, both of you end up mostly standing still in the middle of it all, giddy with infectious joy, with you leaning against his chest and his hand on your shoulder.

You look up at him then, and your faces are so, so close- in a crowded room, where anyone could bump into you... The temptation to just lean up and kiss him is almost unbearable. You could always brush it off as an accident if you had to - or you'd finally have something you've wanted for months. it's tantalising, having that choice dangled in front of you.

Before you can really do more than begin to lean in, though, Vyncent's eyes flicker away from your face and to the door. You'd almost missed it, because you were definitely paying more attention to his lips than his eyes, and you look away, guilt starting to eat into you.

He says something then, but your hearing's gone to shit right now so he gives up and untangles himself from you. He points at the door, then tilts his head at you in a clear question. We leaving now?

You... can't believe you almost did that. You nod at him, struck dumb by your thoughts. Outside, the sudden lack of noise feels almost like a physical weight being lifted, while the freezing temperature is like a slap in the face. You stumble forward into Vyncent, and he steadies you while you shiver and try calling a cab, because no fucking way are you walking home like this.

Home, ha. You know full well that Vyncent is more your home now than any building could be. Even if you keep almost fucking things up - the thought of not having him there is almost too much to bare.

But, for now, you have him. His arm around your shoulders again, trying to keep you warm while you wait for your cab, and the knowledge that when you wake up in the morning, he'll still be there. Neither of you are going anywhere.

#william wisp #vyncent sol #prime defenders #jrwi pd #jrwi #ghostknife #myfic #primedefenders #hi. smiles :3 thanks for 200. this was written mostly in one go. where all i did was listen to michael by frans ferdinand

[maple-the-awesome]

Birthday Wish ||

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 2,749

Requested by @sourpatchspinster: Hi hun,ay I make a request please? It's my birthday coming up in a month and I'll be 30 🙃, I'm totally having an existential crisis about it. Can I have a fluffy fic about the reader turning 30 and she is just being very dramatic like ... , She's single and think she going to die alone lol, but Bucky and his 106 year old ass tell it's going to be okay and she not going to die alone because he loves. Sorry this very specific, but I'm having a moment lol

I love this idea (mainly because I've had this same moment before😔). Here you go, sweetie, and I hope you have an amazing birthday 🥳

Marvel Masterlist 🖤 Fandom Masterlist 🖤 Requests

You should be happy. The weather's perfect and everyone you care about is near, many of whom you haven't seen in what feels like ages. There's also not a single threat in sight; no rouge super soldiers threating peace nor murderous aliens threating existence itself. It's just your friends singing 'Happy Birthday' terribly yet purposefully off key while being all smiles and laughter; a look so foreign for the Avengers these days. So, you should be happy...but you're not.

Three zero. Your hatred for the number only grows the longer you stare at those red and white candles. It's insane to think that as a child, you actually looked forward to turning thirty. What the heck was wrong with you then? No sane person wants to be thirty! When you turn sixteen, you can get a driver's license, turn eighteen to be considered a legal adult, and at twenty-one you can finally drink alcohol. What happens at thirty? Nothing except more body pains in places you'd never expect and the terrifying reminder that the clock is ticking down.

Staring at those two cursed candles, you wonder if they'll reverse time if you wish hard enough. Perhaps you could even pull Stephan aside later and strike some kind of bargain, begging him to work some of his wizard magic to make you younger somehow...No, you doubt he'll do that. He was already complaining earlier about the entire fiasco that occurred after he tried helping Spiderman. With Stephan not being an option, you're really just going to have to wish with all your might.

Alas, nothing happens when you suck in a breath and blow out the tiny flames; nothing except the cheers of the crowd as they’re the only ones celebrating your new age. Not wanting to hurt their feelings nor burden them with your inner worries on such an joyous occasion, you put on your best smile. You're happy, that's all they need to know at least.

Being the birthday girl, you get your first pick of a cake slice, deciding to feed that inner child within by getting the slice with the most intact cookie on top. From there you slip past the group, finding a quiet spot on the porch of the Wilson home where you can eat in peace and alone...as you worry you'll be spending the rest of your life.

In the past (meaning up until earlier last month), you've tried not to worry too much over the status of your love life. You went on dates and tried your best to land a guy without any red flags, but on its own that can be a difficult, time consuming task which only gets worse when added to your busy life as an Avenger. It doesn't help that you pretty much took a five year hiatus during the Blip, only managing to go on one or two dates during that time before realizing you're too depressed to try.

Now that the Blip is over and everyone is back, you've been trying to slowly get back onto the dating scene with little luck. Before you could usually find a guy or two who peaked your interest enough to warrant other dates or even the eventual title of boyfriend, but now you can't even recall the last time you’ve called a guy back after the first date. Did the Blip change you that much? Has your age made you more picky? Or perhaps...

To be honest, if you allowed yourself to dwell on it long enough, you'd realize there's a reason for why you had such a hard time dating during the Blip and why no guy has seemed to spark a light inside your heart afterwards. It's because deep down inside, your heart already knows exactly what type of guy it longs for right down to the name no one else has been able to compete with.

It isn't that you're necessarily blind to this fact, only that you're too stubborn to admit it. You’re thirty years old today which means you're also officially a beggar who can't be a chooser and far too old to hold onto a stupid school girl crush. It doesn't matter what your heart wants to make of all those gentle touches or the playful flirting that surrounds your purely platonic relationship; it won't wash away the line carved in stone and the sooner you cut that pesky rope of hope, the sooner you can return to your quest of actually finding someone before you end up being too old to grow old with them.

"Is the cake not good?" At this point you're certain Bucky hangs around watching you just in waiting to approach at the worst possible time. There's no other reason for him to drop whatever argument Sam and him had been having just to walk over to you with a teasing smile that looks way too mischevious to hold any ounce of innocence; like he knows he's caught you thinking about something forbidden even if that's impossible.

Luckily, he concludes by the way you lift your head with a raised eyebrow that you hadn’t heard his question properly. Poking his fork into his own cake slice, he nods towards yours," the cake? Do you not like it? I had no idea which to get; there were like fifty there. I honestly just got Oreo because I like it, but I probably should've had Sam pick one out-"

His last comment seems scolded more towards himself, but you cut him off by quickly scooping up another piece of the ice-cream cake which had already began to melt," no, no. It's good...You did a good job picking it."

Bucky smiles more at this, although he doesn't leave. Instead, he hovers there mere feet in front of you like a child waiting to annoy their mom over something. You, meanwhile, fight to keep your eyes on the plate, only barely glancing up to notice his eyes lingering over the sliver of space beside you. Getting the message, you scoot over," wanna sit?"

"Yeah...Yeah, I do," he chuckles in embarrassment before gratefully sitting beside you. Despite the amount of room you've provided him with, he still decides to sit close enough to have his arm and leg rub up against yours; a usual habit you've noticed he has not that it means anything.

The two of you eat together in silence, enjoying how nice the cool treat tastes against the warm weather. Everyone else has migrated into different groups to share conversations while Clint's kids and Sam's nephews chase circles around the adults. You actually manage to smile at the sight, happy to see everyone back with their families after so much recent heartache, however the feeling doesn't last long before being bittered.

You're thirty years old without a partner. How much longer will it take to find Mr. Right, and how long will it take for the relationship to progress into something considered stable? While marriage is optional these days as is the concern over concrete long term plans, there’s always the possibility that you might decide to start a family with your future partner. Will you be too old to get pregnant by then? Would even adoption prove to be too much?

"You alright, doll?" Doll...Another habit of Bucky's that means nothing aside from a prick to your heart at such a vulnerable moment.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"You seem...distant," he notes, following your eyes to the group of kids who've successfully dragged Scott into their game of tag," is the party too much?"

"No, it's been great and I've enjoyed getting to see everyone again. I just..." You cut yourself off with a shake of your head, not wanting to get into it. Instead you pick up your plastic solo cup and fiddle with the smooth edge in desperate search for a good excuse," I haven't really gotten much done this week, so I'm gonna need to play catch up. I haven't been grocery shopping yet, 'need to clean the house...I might even update my dating profile, who knows?"

You mention the last part while lifting the soda to your lips and taking a long drink, ignoring the sudden change in Bucky's facial expression which scrunches up as if he has just been asked to solve a difficult math equation.

"...Dating profile, huh?" If you didn't know any better, you'd say his echoed words sound forced, but you don't dwell on that.

"Yeah, ya' know...Thirty's pretty old. I'd like to find a guy before I run out of time..." You hate how pathetic your voice gets with each word, reflecting your inner concern more than you'd prefer.

You really don't want to seem dramatic especially in front of someone you respect as much as Bucky, but you can't help yourself. You've lost count to how many times people have joked about your old age just today alone, never realizing the jabs they’re causing to your confidence not that they can really be blamed. This is the first time all day where someone's noticed your inner demons and it's making you fall apart at the seams.

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that."

"Huh? What?" You raise an eyebrow, slightly offended at the way Bucky turns away and takes a drink from his beer bottle with a look of mild interest if it can even be called that.

"That you said 'thirty's pretty old', 'cause if you're old at thirty and running out of time, then that means I'm ancient and out of luck," he wears a smirk nearly identical to the teasing one from before, however the more you stare at him, the more different it seems. It's almost like there's a hidden pain of his own bitterness against the curl of his lips.

"...Well, I hate to break it to you, Barnes, but you probably do belong in a museum-"

"-Hey!"

"Don't 'hey' me. You're like what? A hundred?"

He bites his lip and looks away with a stubborn whisper,"...a hundred and six."

"Ancient," despite your sour mood, you still manage to smile at the way he nudges your arm playfully. This smile fades only slightly as you stare down at the dark liquid rippling in your hands, preparing to be a bit more serious with your next topic," but even so, I don't think you have as much to worry about."

"Why not?" He's generally curious, facing you fully once more with a cute raise of his eyebrow.

"Ancient people have mirrors in their apartments, right?" You pause solely to get a good look at his frown before carry on," because I find it hard to believe you'd have any problem getting a date with your looks. Even the other day when we went down to the docks to help Sam with his boat, there were girls giggling about you. I bet if you stood on the side of the street with a sign that said 'please date me', there'd be a line of men and women wrapping around Louisiana."

"I don't get that much attention," He leans back against the stairs, propping his leg up and bringing his beer to his lips yet never actually taking a drink. If anything, he's just using it to hide his face from you while pretending to be watching the party from a distance.

"You get all the attention. Everyone knows that...but if you don't believe me, we can do a vote-"

"-Nope. No need for that...Just sit your ass down, doll," you go to stand only for Bucky to grab your arm in a hurry and pull you back down, his cheeks dusted from what you assume is embarrassment as you laugh. Shifting uncomfortably, he mumbles," if that's your logic, then you shouldn't have much trouble with dates yourself."

"What makes you say that?" Now you're the one confused.

"Old people have mirrors in their apartments, right?" He quotes you from earlier, bashfully glancing your way for only a second before turning to pick at the peeling paint on the steps," you're a beautiful gal not to mention you're funny and caring along with countless other things- what I'm trying to say is, guys should be lining up around the block for a chance to date you."

There's a heat to your cheeks at his words, however you're quick to remind yourself of their worth as a simple build up from a good friend. Instead of letting them sink into your already fizzy heart, you curl your knees to your chest and shake your head," the problem isn't getting dates with guys, it's finding the right guy...Every time I go, I find something that doesn't work for me. I don't like his style or laugh. I don't feel anything when he holds my hand or kisses my cheek. It just always ends up feeling...wrong. Like..."

"...Like you're meant to be there with someone else?" You're shocked at how fitting Bucky's words are, a reaction he notes. Flustered, he gives a shrug while sitting up straight again," I get that. I went on a date not too long ago and ended up leaving half way through because I couldn't stop thinking about someone else."

"...Oh...?" You frown, fiddling with your fingers in mock distraction," why not just ask that 'someone else' out then?"

Bucky hums absentmindedly, certain you missed the way he glances at you a few different times in the corner of his eyes while weighing his choices in response. It feels like a good minute goes by, one where you watch the party in a somewhat tense atmosphere as if both of you are aware the conversation has hit the same stubborn door you’ve always somehow managed to find. It's a door that appears whenever Bucky leans his arm over your shoulders during movie nights or the way his words trail off as you both stand close enough to feel each others breath while enjoying the sunset on Sam's boat; a door that reminds you both that to pass through would be to cross that stone line of a platonic relationship into something not meant for friends.

"...I think she might be too old for me," Bucky finally confesses, his voice purposefully low to allow fate to decide whether or not you hear.

Fate decides that you do, shown through your confusion," too old for you? What girl is too old for a hundred and six year old man? Are you checking out the ladies at a retirement home or something?”

He shrugs, leaning forward slightly while cupping his hands together," I don't know…I just heard her say thirty is pretty old."

You blink once then twice, letting his words sink in," you..."

Chewing his bottom lip, he refuses to steal glances at you anymore, instead beginning to feel the suffocation of regret set in," look, I get it if you’re not interested. It’s weird, I mean, we’re friends and teammates, but I…I really like you, doll, and if you’d give me the chance, I’d like to be the first guy in line for a date with you- If not then that’s fine. I won’t bring it up again, I promise. I-”

“-I’m free Friday…”

“H-Huh?”

“Friday night. I’m, uh, free if you’d like to go out then,” you rub the back of your neck shyly, your face feeling like it’s on fire as Bucky stares at you in surprise.

It takes some time for your words to process in his head, the outcome where you agree to a date having never actually been considered for some reason. He figured it would be a longshot, one against his better judgment that would possibly ruin your friendship, but not in a good way; not in this way.

“Friday night,” he echoes breathlessly before seeming to snap back into it, his voice noticeably more uplifted as he nods frantically,” right, Friday, I can do that. Uh, how about we go dancing? Do guys still take girls dancing? I don’t have any idea how this modern dating thing works.”

You chuckle at his eagerness, finally finding the courage to look at him with an uncontrollable smile of your own,” I think any date would be amazing with you- as long as you don't take me to a bingo night somewhere that is."

“...Bingo's actually kind of fun, doll.”

“Maybe you are too old for me.” 

“Hey!”

You laugh, standing up from the porch with your empty plate and cup in hand," Friday night dancing...It's a date then, Barnes. I'm looking forward to it."

Going on a date with Bucky might not be what you wished for today, but it's something far better, that's for sure...Maybe turning thirty isn't actually that bad after all.

#bucky fic #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #marvel #x reader #reader insert

[negative-speedforce]

"I Wish That It Was Enough For Me"

With: My OCs Siv and Hailey

Siv jerked awake, immediately pulling away from where she had been curled up against Hailey. Siv curled into themself, scooting away from Hailey's unnaturally cold body to the edge of the bed. She wrapped her arms around her knees, staring blankly at the wall in front of them.

I wish this was enough for me. They thought. The usual weight of grief in her chest felt much heavier tonight, like a millstone wrapped inside her half-formed heart. Last night, with Hailey, had been absolutely perfect. The tenderness with which the other woman had worshipped her scarred, broken body was unlike anything Siv had ever experienced before.

It was the first time they had let Hailey top them. At first, she had feared the loss of control, that it would set off some unknown trigger and they would turn into... her. But Hailey had been careful, making sure Siv knew exactly what she was doing as she touched the most intimate parts of her.

It was amazing, and perfect, and everything that Siv had ever wanted. But it still wasn't enough. The aching, cold, numb feeling in their chest was still just as raw as it had been yesterday, and every day since they had watched Gina be slaughtered like an animal in front of them.

The rage. It almost hurt, how much she craved justice. No, not justice. Who were they kidding? She craved revenge. They wanted nothing more than to tear their father apart, to watch his blood stain the concrete as he pleaded for mercy, only to realize that she would give none.

She wanted him to look up at her and see the monster he had made. Hell, part of them wanted everyone, even Hailey, to see them like that. Siv knew they were one, in a way. Half of her wanted to be the monster, and the other half wanted to pretend that she was still the same person that they were before the Accelerator. Before Gina.

"Hey." Hailey stirred awake. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Had a nightmare." Siv replied. "I'm fine."

"Talk about it?" Hailey sat up, squeezing Siv's bicep. Siv shook their head.

"No thanks." Siv said. "Last night was really great, by the way. It's not your fault that I'm like this."

"I know." Hailey scooted closer to Siv, wrapping an arm around their shoulder.

Siv shuddered, the unnatural cool of Hailey's skin sending her into a flashback to Gina's bloody corpse in her arms; the body going cold against her skin. They gasped, then shook their head, banishing the memories to the back of their mind.

"Your skin is cold." Siv commented.

"I know. It's been like that for a... really long time." Hailey smiled ruefully. "I told you that I'm a veteran, right?"

"Yeah, you fought in Afghanistan." Siv replied.

"Yeah." Hailey nodded. "I, um... I was injured over there. I've been cold ever since."

"You get shot or something?" Siv raised an eyebrow.

Hailey shrugged. "Close enough. It doesn't really bother me anymore, but when it first happened, it was... a lot. I had to be discharged from the Marines because I was so psychologically fucked."

"I'm sorry." Siv replied.

"Don't. It's not an issue anymore. I've learned how to move on with my life."

"Do you ever feel like..." Siv took a deep breath, changing the subject. "...like what we have isn't enough for you?"

"Sometimes. I feel like I barely know you half the time." Hailey admitted. "Sometimes I wish we could be more than what we are, but that's not an option right now. You are what you are, and I am what I am, and I doubt that's going to change anytime soon."

"No." Siv shook their head. "It's not. I just wish that I could be satisfied with what I have, but I can't. I'm just so angry all the time, and it never goes away, no matter what I do. I think... I think I'm broken."

"Getting professional help actually helps." Hailey said. "I know, shocking. When I was first discharged, I didn't think I'd ever be able to assimilate back into civilian life. But I did. I managed to find some way to move on, even if I'm still not the same as I was before Afghanistan. I'd really recommend it for you. It might help."

"I don't think it will." Siv replied. "At least, I'm not ready to find out. I don't want to know if I'm fundamentally, irreparably broken or not. I'll just try to get better by myself, thank you very much."

"Well, until you're ready to reach out and let someone help you, I'm here. At least, when I can be. We're still on opposite sides of this fight, after all."

"Yeah, we are." Siv stood up, putting their jacket and jeans back on. "I'm sorry. I've gotta go. I'll see you around, okay?"

"Sivonne, wait-"

"Goodbye, Hailey."

#oc shit #siv thawne #hailey laurence #revan writes #Youtube

[cutie-keebs]

2023 End of year keyboard review

Hi yalls!

So we're approaching the end of the year. Since then, more keyboards have entered the market and I've managed to build some of them. At the same time, group buy orders managed to arrive. I'm so happy that I've been able to expand my collection with these items.

Honourable mentions

Due to how expensive the keyboard hobby is, I couldn't grab everything that was released this year. At the same time, I had to sell some of the keebs that I used to own due to a variety of reasons.

For starters, the QK and Jris series have been super amazing for opening doors for high-quality budget options in the market. I own the QK75 and remade my first keyboard build and I swear to god the improvement is immaculate.

Next is Mode Designs. They have released a bunch of high-quality boards and boy howdy, I wish I could own them all. The Envoy was well-loved in the community and the release of the Loop is so cute. I wish I could grab my hands on it, but I'm satisfied with my Sonnet, which is still available to this day and now has new colour options.

Lastly, it's the established keyboard companies like Asus and Razer as they've released some hotswap keyboards. The one that caught my eye the most is the Azoth. I would trade in my old Corsaid K70 for that keyboard. If anyone is willing to do so, hit me up.

Now, here are my top 5 boards.

5. The Dreamscape build

We all know how I've felt about this build. It took 2 years and it's finally here. I love this build for the soft aesthetic and I'm so glad I can finally use this keyboard. It's such a shame it took so long because there were times I was losing hope and was considering giving it a different build.

Specs:

Ikki Aurora x EPBT Dreamscape

EPBT Dreamscape

Gazzew Bobagums

Artisans from Namong and From Scratch

As for the use and feel, it's nice. A bit mushy cuz of the switches. But at least no one will get mad at me when I type during meetings because apparently, they can pick up my typing sounds. Its the ultimate dream silent keyboard.

I'm just happy this build is finally complete cuz omg, imagine if this went on to 2024. I would lose my sh*t.

4. Rama Thermal

Getting used to the HHKB layout has been a challenge. Fortunately, I ended up getting used to it after a few months. I do miss my arrow keys but using function + WASD was a good alternative. I will admit that my productivity at work did slow down during the first few weeks.

Specs:

Thermal by RamaWorks

Osume Winterglow Eve

Clackbits

Artisans from Tulipclay

While Rama might have some controversies, it's actually a really nice board. Has a really unique look it, something that I'm after when I buy keyboards. However, after comparing it to other builds, it's not really great. The sound quality feels hollow (despite tape modding it), and the keycaps and switches sound output doesn't help at all so I ended up rebuilding it.

Right now, as of writing, I'm using temporary parts for a later build and it's going to take a while for me to find the right combo. I will update you once I made something worth showcasing a sound test. I am interested in trying out the Akko Penguin Silent Switches so hopefully a muted build is what this build needs.

If there is something I learned from this keyboard - DON'T BUY FROM RAMAWORKS.

3. The Nordic Build

The boards may look good but their reputation sunk so bad. I had to file a bank complaint just so they could reply and get this board shipped (mind you, it was a in-stock item).

Originally, the keyboard that I wanted to use was the Loki65. But thanks to Mechs and Co, that was heavily delayed. I've always had eyes on the Fuji keyboard series since I started this hobby in 2021. So thanks to the Keebs For All Marketplace, someone was selling theirs for a good price and I got it.

Specs:

Fuji 65

EPBT Scandi

Hera Switches

Artisan from EzKeys

Aesthetics-wise, it looks pretty good. All the colours complement each other and I'm quite happy. The reason I wanted to make this build is that my favourite country is Iceland and I wanted to build a keyboard inspired by my trip there in 2019. The only flaw with this build is that the switches sound scratchy. But that's because I didn't lube them. Could be fixed if I do that.

I look forward to the day when the Loki65 gets shipped as I think my thoughts will change when it arrives.

2. The Tofu Build

Believe it or not, this was the first keyboard I built this year and I'm quite happy with how it turned out. The reason why built this keyboard is because I was inspired by Magic The Gathering - Kamigawa Neon Dynasty and this build resembles that trading card set.

Specs:

Tofu 60 (the original)

PBT Fans Kabuki-Cho

Tecsee Ruby Switches

This keyboard is THOCKY. It's not as thocky compared to modern builds but it has that low-profile sound that was highly sought after during the pandemic. I can see why this was a beloved build back in the early days of the keyboard hobby.

While the Tofu has increased in price over the years, I believe it's a testament to how the hobby has changed. I'm glad to have a piece of keyboard history in my collection.

1. The Sonnet Build

This has to be my newest go-to keyboard. From the looks, sound, and aesthetics, it was worth it. It took a while for me to figure out which keycaps to use since it originally had Osume Dusk. I think the greys from the Hooties are much better.

Specs:

Sonnet from Mode Designs

GMK Hooty

Popu Linears

Artisans from Hibi.MX and Geekkey

Using this board has that 5/5 experience. The sound is so satisfying, the feel is really nice. The artisans complement the board so well. And the fact that the Sonnet is a really good quality keyboard adds extra points. I highly recommend getting the Sonnet when you have the chance to do so.

#mechanical keyboard #custom keyboard #technology #keyboard #mechanical keyboards #cute keyboard #review #keyboard review #end of year #end of year review

[fake-fire-emblem-takes]

I wish they would bring back the necromancer class from awakening. Yes, I know it was way too OP to bring back dead units in the same round they die and yes, it did kind of spit on one of the core gameplay mechanics from fire emblem as a whole. But honestly, it was SO MUCH fun trying to let them survive either lmao. They were literally a dancer but ten times squishier. One glare and THEY DIE. You had to pay so much attention into letting them survive that at this point it would've been easier to just. not let your units die. Also, of course the game called "awakening" would have a revive mechanic. Aside from bringing back dead units, they just had worse dark magic. Thats literally it. Honestly they wouldn't have been as OP if they didnt prevent a game over if you managed to revive Robin/Chrom in the next turn.

I know it was the popular option to let Henry or Tharja become a necromancer because it would fit their characters more ( especially henry) but I've always reclassed Robin into a necromancer. Yes, of course our tactian is trustworthy! Don't mind them currently bringing back dead people! Seeing all the fanart and fanfiction was just an added bonus. ( Yes I know Robin is an insane unit and shouldn't be wasted for such a class, but they still had some pretty decent dark magic to boot. Even if they weren't really strong anymore.)

Fates brought back this mechanic in Birthright/Revelations only ( Which I did find pretty weird. But since Conquest was meant to be harder and more "classic" i guess it makes some sense?). But they renamed it and made it all weird. Savior? Thats just a weirdass name. And instead of using dark magic it was regular magic. Sadly the mechanic was pretty much useless because Birthright was easy as shit. I didn't play Revelations rip.

By the time of Echoes it just. Didn't exist anymore. And Three Houses just cemented it. Which I find sad, because Three Houses has its fancy plotline with the Agarthans and some great dark magic users. And considering you can't recruit that many units after the timeskip it certainly would've been useful. Oh well.

.

#unreality #FakeESeries #FakeEAwakening #FakeEFates

[light-wynd]

Rambling About Menthe and Elphane

(Alternatively: My Exams Got Postponed But I'm Still In Too Much Pain to Draw, So Here I Am, Going On About My Favorite Melusines For Entirely Too Long)

Yeah. I think about these two in particular a lot, and just wanted to talk about... basically everything I could think of that I felt was worth mentioning regarding them (and a bit about Aeval too) to take my mind off of feeling like shit, along with a few general thoughts and speculations based on what we know about them.

Putting this under the cut, not because it's got story spoilers or anything (I don't think it does anyway), but because it's longer than anything I've posted before.

Does this qualify as a character analysis? Idk man I'm not a writer, I'm not confident enough to call it that.

Think I'll just begin with Menthe since I have the biggest soft spot for her - I honestly relate to her a lot more than I like to admit, and just... really want to give her a hug, she could probably use one. All we ever really see her do is stand there sighing to herself at Arouet's café, drinking tea and coffee just to keep herself awake. It's a stark contrast from how we see the other Melusines act, to say the least - not to mention how much trouble she seems to be having with adjusting to human society in comparison to them too. She's really bothered by how large everything in the city is (and that everything that is actually her size was made for young children). She's struggling with her job in the Gardiennage and thinking about finding a different one, even if there aren't a lot of options she's suited for when it comes to "human work". She even wishes her body was more humanoid like Sigewinne's if it could make these things any easier, and there's just something heartbreaking about that - not to mention her constant exhaustion. Yeah, poor thing's not doing great. The fact that she says she was initially very enthusiastic to integrate into human society makes it all even sadder - all these difficulties must have hit her particularly hard.

For this next point, I feel like I should include this screenshot from the café's message board (there's a couple more entries about her, but this is the most relevant one):

The thing about that is, all the other Melusines working for the Gardiennage must've encountered pretty similarly disturbing things just by the nature of the job, investigating crime scenes and all that - and yet only Menthe seems to be affected by it this deeply, judging by how cheerful the others act and how casually they talk about their work. This makes me think that she's either had some sort of traumatic experience that's unique to her (especially from the wording of "unfathomable darkness"), or that it all just gets to her more than the others for some reason. Either way, it would certainly explain why she'd like to change jobs - and I genuinely hope she manages to one day, for the sake of her well-being. Maybe she really will end up working in the infirmary together with Sigewinne despite her worries about the inmates not taking kindly to her, who knows. (Also I gotta say, when I first saw her "maybe I should just go underwater" line, I thought she meant she was thinking about giving up on human society and going back to Merusea Village - but of course she's talking about the infirmary in the Fortress of Meropide. Still, it does kind of sound like that is the last option she can think of when it comes to work she could do, which is a bit worrying in its own way.)

As for the adorably grumpy Elphane... can't really talk about her without bringing up Aeval too, they're a package deal after all. Most folks seem to assume that Aeval is the newer tour guide of the two, considering how enthusiastic she is, but funnily enough it's actually the opposite! (Probably just by a few days at most, but still.) It's easy to miss this since their aquabus dialogues seem pretty randomized and there's a lot of them, but these two both used to work for the Gardiennage as well - and apparently, Elphane was "the ace up the Marechaussee Phantom's sleeve", while Aeval on the other hand presumably didn't do so great (according to Talochard's quest, being assigned as a tour guide is what happens to a Melusine who's bad at being an investigator - and yeah, honestly I can see how that would be the case here). So first, Aeval got "promoted" to the aquabus (in her own words... guess nobody had the heart to tell her otherwise), which upset Elphane so much that she just quit her job - while on track to a high-paying promotion to the Opera Epiclese, mind you -, put on a new uniform and got on the aquabus with Aeval. Of course, they ultimately ended up assigned to separate lines, but at least they're colleagues again. It's pretty clear that Elphane isn't enjoying this job whatsoever, but she keeps doing it anyway for Aeval, and is still fairly skilled at it in her own way.

So yeah, Elphane is actually incredibly sweet and caring... when it comes to Aeval anyway. Hell, she even recommends that you visit Aeval's line at any chance she gets - whether it's for better commentary, a friendlier guide or just a more photo-ready aquabus, she directs you there. She genuinely seems to look up to her, and maybe even wishes she could do a better job as a guide like her deep down. Something that could point to this is that she gets very flustered by compliments, which might indicate that - unlike Aeval - she doesn't get a lot of positive feedback, so she's not quite sure how to handle it. Aeval looks up to her quite a lot too, and they seem to do pretty much everything together when they're off work (including shopping for cute clothes, which Elphane vehemently denies her interest in, ahahah) - I'm not sure what their relationship is, they just refer to each other as colleagues and Elphane being Aeval's senior, but they're clearly very close and it's absolutely precious. This is even reflected in their designs: they both have a very similar pink-blue color scheme too, just with Elphane being predominantly pink with blue accents and Aeval being the other way around - their uniforms included - and even their eyes are complementary colors to each other. Really cute way to show both their connection while also highlighting their personalities being pretty much opposites.

One last thing I want to point out is that both Menthe and Elphane struggle with their jobs in their own way, and seem to be among the few Melusines to really do so to this extent in the current time - but probably the biggest difference is that while Elphane doesn't show all that much enthusiasm or effort towards her work, it's kind of implied that Menthe on the other hand is overworking herself, judging by Arouet's comments on her constant mental and physical exhaustion. Of course, it could also be that she just has no energy because of how depressed she is - but in any case, she's doing her best to keep it together and power through it despite everything.

Aaand that would be all for... whatever this was. If even a single soul has actually read this whole thing, thank you so much, that alone makes having posted this feel worth it! And if anyone wants to talk Melusines, I'd be more than happy to ^^

#gonna have to get my hand looked at again at this point so that fuckin sucks #at least the exams won't be happening for a while in any case #ngl i'm pretty nervous to post this but fuck it. might as well #if it flops it flops #melusine #melusine genshin #menthe #menthe genshin #elphane #elphane genshin #genshin melusine

[cantbelieveyouregone]

Level 65 - 5 Years, 5 Months On Testosterone

Well, it's been a hell of a long time since I last did this. Almost like a pandemic happened and made me forget because there were slightly more pressing matters at hand. But it's just past trans day of visibility, so figured I should provide some sort of update here.

First big change since you last saw me do this is that I got top surgery. I'm now about two and a bit years past when it happened, and it wasn't completely smooth sailing. Surgery itself went fine, but I ended up having some of my stitching come out during recovery. That's, like, a whole other story, though. It could take up several paragraphs here. I got the periareolar one done, with my chest being just on the borderline of being too big for it, but I begged them to let me have that one, as it'd always been my preferred one if possible.

I'm still trying to get on the waiting list for bottom surgery, but even trying to get through to the GIC to make progress is a nightmare right now. I don't help my case by being someone who absolutely despises making phone calls, so I only try getting in touch by email. I've asked to be put on the list, twice, but I have not received any confirmation if it's happened. Really wish that I wasn't dependent on this whole GIC system, but here we are.

Besides that, in terms of testosterone changes, things have been pretty stable for a while now. My voice hasn't gotten much deeper for like a good couple years. I am a hairy boy - saw it coming, thanks to having beheld my dad swimming, and seeing that we were three for three in having facial hair among my grandfathers and dad as well.

I am still a very physically weak man. Exercise took a backseat for a lot of the lockdown period of the pandemic, as well as me doing very little exercise post-surgery on surgeon's orders. I've really only started picking it up again relatively recently, after moving out of the house I always take these selfies in (my old room - now my dad's work from home office - still has a mirror in it). I can do only about 15 push-ups before I have to stop for a breather, as my endurance has remained atrocious. I managed to do ten bicep curls in a row per arm with dumbbells weighing 8.5kg each, but I truly just reached that point. I can do like 100 sit ups on a workout bench or 50 on the floor in mostly one go, though. And I can do a plank for like two and a half minutes on a good day. So, y'know, I'm not in terrible shape, but I could be better. I want to do bouldering more regularly, but that requires breaking my existing routine to do so, so I find it hard to go very often. At least me and my flatmate walk in to work some days.

I have gained a noticeable amount of weight, compared to my last update, but that's honestly more to do with the fact that I moved out and got a job. My flatmate works at the same place I do, so we go to work at the same time. So I actually eat breakfast every day because they'd quickly notice if I didn't. Lunch is covered by our work, but it's Deliveroo from select places, so it's not the healthiest stuff we have as options. And dinner, again, flatmate and I get back at the same time and make dinner together most nights. Might not seem like a big deal, but before I had a job and moved out, I regularly slept in and didn't have a proper meal until dinner time. So funnily enough, I'm not surprised jumping from one meal a day to three has caused weight gain.

My mental health is an open question as always. I've described myself as "one thing going wrong away from a mental breakdown", and I still think that's accurate. I'm still on meds for anxiety and depression, and I still feel noticeable effects when I forget to take them. I don't think they're going away any time soon. Top surgery has helped with some of the mental health stuff, since it's one less thing for me to worry about on a daily basis, but... y'know, bottom dysphoria still exists, and it's bad. I did make some friends during university which helped to make things tolerable when I definitely otherwise would've been alone, since I pushed a lot of my high school friends away after I dropped out. I'm not in a relationship, and not only do I have limited desire to be until I learn how to take care of myself better, but I still have no idea what anyone would see in me.

I never know how to end these things. I don't know when I'll next remember to actually do one of these, because it's been a long-ass time since I did it before. Maybe I'll do a more detailed update about my top surgery experience. Maybe the folks that follow me ain't here for this, but if my post makes it across the dashboard or in the search of another person going through it, maybe it'll be helpful.

It's kind of why I started doing this in the first place.

#my posts #gic #gender identity clinic #ftm progress #gender dysphoria #trans #afab #ftm #transition #three-t #transgender #top surgery #testosterone #hrt #anxiety #depression #eating #i can't remember all the tags i used to do #god my memory sucks #which ironically i forgot to mention in the post #will say one thing i hate is that the weight I've gained went to my hips #absolutely fucking despise that #choose literally anywhere else next time body

[rakuya-nikki]

Re:Zero - Entry #11

I've spent the past several days fervently rewatching Re:Zero, and not only did I learn a lot of new words and get great studying from it, but I was able to remember just how much I love this show.

I'm usually not good with gore. Well, "usually" as in I'm still not good with gore. There's a particular scene in the show involving some... bunnies, that I had to skip because I can not handle that shit lmfao. But I feel like this show has just enough of that kind of stuff to where I can deal with it. I definitely don't wish I was Subaru, though, that's for sure.

This show's themes of self-worth, loneliness, never giving up, finding out how to better oneself, and so many other things, are really interesting, especially when compared to other Isekai. The idea of "dying and starting at a checkpoint" is already a brilliant concept to base a realistic, dark fantasy story off of, but it's really executed so well in this show.

I never really thought about it before, but this pseudo-time travel mechanic really is like Majora's Mask. And just like that game, this show manages to use that to create amazing characters, motivations, reactions and emotions. People will do things slightly different for various reasons per each "round", and it really makes them feel complex and human, even if a... lot of characters are... very extra lol.

In terms of my favorite characters, obviously Subaru has a big leg up given how he's the main focus for so much character development. And he really does feel like his own character. Like, he's not someone you, the viewer, want to insert themselves into. Hell, like I said before, I'm really glad I'm not him. This is a story, one of someone who constantly compares himself to and relies on others, who utterly lacks self-worth or love, who believes he has to bear the burden of pain and suffering in place of everyone else.

When I first watched the show, I was younger, more depressed, had much less self-worth instilled in me, and those themes were really impactful at that time. Of course, I was also bittered by them a bit, in the sense that I didn't have a Rem to tell me they loved me, or an Echidna to be a source of comfort (albeit not good comfort). I didn't have an Emilia to fall in love with or anything. But I also didn't have a horde of bunnies eating me alive so that's fair. Anyways, yeah, even if I didn't have the cast of beautiful women (and, more importantly, Otto) to help reassure my self-worth and show me the love that I wanted, I still took heart in the idea of loving yourself.

The show loses some impact upon second viewing, but it also helps me really appreciate the pacing and ordering of events. When you first watch it, things can feel kind of hopeless, scattered, chaotic, painful. Which, I reckon, is part of the point, and it's impressive the show can make you feel those things. But watching it while knowing everything that happens really helps me notice how intentional certain details or events are, and how everything connects and affects Subaru and the others. It's a really solid show.

I'm so excited for Season 3 to happen, though I dunno when that'll be. Much like Mushoku Tensei, I may have to add this to my list of "things to read eventually". Though apparently the Light Novel is not progressing very quickly. Oh well, it's an option.

The show is full of so much emotion. In its facial expressions, in its incredible voice acting, and in its events. The scene at the very end of Season 1's final episode is perhaps one of the best bombshells to end a season ever. Like, you did all of that work, half a season's worth of scheming and fighting, to finally overcome it, and at the very end, you find out that just one of the things you were trying to protect is... gone. Especially the way the show starts out Season 2, with the despair, the willingness for Subaru to end his own life to try it over again, only to realize his checkpoint has been updated to after it's happened, so he can't possibly save her.

It's such a powerful way to take what looked like an overall victory, and bring back some reality to the situation. It's grim. It's really impactful. The show's full of those moments, where you can feel Subaru's anger, anguish, relief, pain. And, like I said before, the emotions on display through the facial expressions and voice acting is unbelievable. I don't think I've ever seen a show depict such emotions as well.

Very impressive show, I'm so glad to be able to experience it once again. And not only that, but get some great studying out of it too. The show's language is a lot more complicated than I was expecting, but because of it, I've made over 100 flash cards and got so much practice. I was even able to point out some certain words that, I can tell, this author likes to use more than other people. At least, I think so. It's cool to be able to notice those types of things.

My favorite characters are either Echidna, Emilia, Subaru, or Beatrice. Though I love Otto too. When I first watched Season 1, when I was younger, Rem became my comfort character (I refuse to use the word "waifu"), but I've since forgotten who that character is. Unfortunate.

#diary #diary entry #journal #journaling #personal diary #anime #re:zero #re:ゼロから始める異世界生活