#idk man i used to deal with people like this who were literally always like ''you HAVE to abide by CANON!!! or else your portrayal sucks!!' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

elysianymph · 9 months

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🔥 anything about sirius because i am being a little hater towards some characterisations too

i've already talked your ears off about this on discord but i'm happy to talk to about it again bc i fucking HATE new sirius black with a burning passion. i hate him as much as i love my sirius black that marauderstok can pry from my cold dead hands bc i'm not letting him go. i don't know when it happened and why but marauders fans are particularly persistent on taking away any interesting traits sirius had and leaving behind a whimpering pathetic twink that cries when someone looks at him the wrong way. sirius has been scrubbed clean of any morally grey traits he might've had (he's not allowed to care for his family (unless it's regulus) or long for them bc they are bad, he's not allowed to have any prejudices even though he was literally raised with pureblood mentality and taught he was superior to everyone else from the day he was born, he's not allowed to be an asshole bc he's not like his family guys!! and when he is an asshole it's always used to victimize the character he's being an asshole to and sirius is painted as the villain with mommy issues that can only be fixed by getting dicked down apparently)

i cannot stress this enough: LET THIS MAN BE A COMPLEX CHARACTER!! and no, giving him mental illnesses that miraculously disappear when he gets together with remus and making him attempt to kill himself post prank because he feels bad is NOT making him complex! you're just weird. you're just romanticizing mental illnesses and i can't believe you don't see anything wrong with it. giving him bipolar to justify his actions is?? not??? representation??? it's offensive to people who actually have to deal with these issues in their day to day lives and yet here you are using something that will impact their life forever as a plot device for your uwu sadboy mlm fanfic.

and that's what new sirius boils down to. he's a plot device, an accessory to everyone else's story that's never given much depth other than "oh his mom used the cruciatus on him and now he's traumatized". no hate to jegulus but hate to specific jegulus fics that turn sirius into an overdramatic caricature of his former self for the sake of drama and angst.

also, some of these wolfstar shippers... wtf are you guys on?? idk when and why (that's a lie i do but i'm not gonna say it) remus became sirius black in a werewolf costume but here we are. oh sirius was cool and effortlessly smart and handsome and girls wanted him? well guess what? snatches all of those character traits and throws them onto remus they're his character traits now. ignore how it doesn't make any sense for the werewolf child who was isolated from the rest of the world to be a smooth talking alpha casanova who plays basketball actually. while we're at it, ignore how unrealistic it is for a boy who was raised in a family that believed they were superior to everyone else based on blood status, who was raised to be the perfect heir and checked off all the traits needed to be one to be insecure?? and unsure of himself?? and stupid??? and a loser??? i don't understand what the point of flipping the wolfstar dynamic was when you're left with a shallow copy of the original but ok. you do you ig.

to summarize, my sirius is cool and effortlessly smart and egotistical and a complete asshole who thinks he's the best thing ever. is it an act to cover up how damaged he thinks he is because of his family? possibly. but i also fully believe sirius thought he was a god amongst men and everyone should be glad to be in his presence. he talked down to other people because he considered himself smarter, he rolled his eyes when students asked stupid questions and made fun of them when they got an answer wrong. he's a teenage boy let him be a dick with no excuses.

(also i find it funny when people write about sirius getting into a fight with james or remus and crying because they said something mean. as if sirius wouldn't throw hands the moment someone started criticizing him. he's toxic and that's what makes him interesting. that's his purpose! characters exist to make stories interesting, to start drama, not to be your moral guide on how to act. stories become so much more fun once you let go of the need to make every character a good person. also liking a character doesn't equal liking them as a person. i love sirius but i would hate his guts irl)

#i feel like i can never fully write what i want to say and i hate it #wish i could take you guys on a tour of my brain. it's crazy up in here #thank you for letting me talk zandra it's almost like you knew what was bothering me znjzjzj #it's really not that deep (i say after writing an entire post about it)#(it's not i just like to talk to myself and hope someone will listen bc i am very very passionate can you tell?)#sirius black #mwpp #marauders #marauders era #nymph answers #hating hours 🔥#just to be safe #tw mental illness #tw sui attempt

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things-arent-what-they-seem66 · 1 month

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9 and 14 adamsapple maybe? Idk if they fit together well or how you would do that but yeah

9. “…Damn it all to hell, if I don’t get to have you tonight then I’m never going to be able to have you.”

14. "Bet they don't make you sound like that."

Thank you! Enjoy :)

Content Warning: Sexually Suggestive

Lucifer sipped at his drink, he was seated in a booth at a club. His eyes were locked on a fallen angel who was having fun with the other hotel goers.

It had been months since Adam fell into Hell and became a sinner, he made a deal with the devil, quite literally, for protection against the demons that would want him dead. Lucifer always wondered what it would be like to own the first man's soul, to literally have him on a leash.

It was exhilarating.

But he wanted more than that. Not just Adams soul, but his heart and body as well. The king wanted to own every aspect of the sinner. Especially before someone else moved in on what was his.

He watched as some demon brought Adam over a shot. They clinked glasses and downed the liquid. They started dancing very close together. Too close for Lucifer's liking.

He growled and slammed his empty glass down. “…Damn it all to hell, if I don’t get to have you tonight then I’m never going to be able to have you.” He said mainly to himself as he got up and made his way over to Adam.

He froze when he saw the guy grab a hand full of Adams ass. Adam yelped, he rounded on the guy and punched him in the face. "Fuck off, asshole!" He heard Adam say before storming off.

That was his cue.

He followed Adam to the bathroom where he was gripping the sink, his face pinched in anger. Lucifer locked the door behind him once he deemed they were alone. "You okay?"

Adam snapped his head up, surprised to see Lucifer standing there. He scoffed, his guard going back up. "Like you care."

"If I didn't care, I wouldn't ask." He got closer to the sinner. "I saw what he did."

Adam looked away, he seemed embarrassed. "Yeah, so?"

"No one should touch you like that." Except for me, Lucifer added mentally.

"Yeah, well, a lot of people down here don't understand the word no." Adam crossed his arms looking angry again.

Lucifer advanced on him. "I do."

"Huh?" Adam questioned, then a gold chain and collar materialized and yanked him down to eye level with the king. Their faces a few mere centimeters apart.

"Do you want me to stop?" Adam shook his head no. "Good." Cause Lucifer really didn't want to. He would if Adam told him no, he wouldn't force him. He let the chain and collar disappear and pulled Adam in by cupping his face for a bruising kiss.

Adam returned the kiss placing his hands on Lucifer's shoulders. He felt himself being backed up until he hit a wall. He was slouched there to be level with the king. He half yelped when Lucifer's hands left his face and picked him up, his legs wrapping around him for support. Adam moaned when a hand firmly gripped his ass.

This was much more pleasant than the asshole that used it as a stress ball. "Bet they don't make you sound like that. They will never get the chance." Lucifer husked in Adams ear making him shiver. "What other beautiful sounds can I pull from you?" Lucifer purred.

Adam bit his lip. They were going to be here a while.

#adamsapple #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #lucifer x adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #ask

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dollypopup · 13 days

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So, I wasn't gonna post anything about this, honestly, but because I was directly asked, here's my 2 cents!

First, I want to thank you for saying you trust me with this! I'm also on the ace-spectrum, and I'm a queer, bisexual woman, so I do have a lot of empathy with you and everyone else who was down for queer rep.

(Also, I do not have Anon turned on for my asks. I absolutely respect your privacy, but I've been harassed before, and if people want to come at me, they can do it with their whole chest. Similarly, if people want to come TO me, I'd love to be friends!) I want to start off with the fact that whilst I understand that you believe the article, I don't. Call it the skeptic in me, or my media literacy classes during my grad program or denial or what have you, but we live in a huge era of misinformation. A tabloid is not likely to be any kind of reliable source, and a random reddit user even less so. It's like making a balloon full of pudding and having a clown say it's helium. We're not going to know until the needle pops it. Surely, no one would ever lie on the internet.

That being said, as much as I yearned and wanted for Demi Colin to be confirmed, it's not set in stone, and so it couldn't have been taken away from us. Honestly, even being ace-spec, a lot of the HC of Demi!Colin started putting a bad taste in my mouth when I realized that a lot of this predominately cishet fandomw as doing it as a means of keeping Colin 'pure' for Penelope, and that struck me as incredibly acephobic. Sure, they were HCing him as one of us. . .but not because it fit with his character or provided a rich and interesting arc for him to explore, but more so that his identity was an extension of their hopes and wants for Penelope. It wasn't for him as a character, but for him as a prize. And that made me so very sad, so my dream of Demi!Colin died when I saw that happening so frequently. Us Demi and Ace folks deserved better than that, and we continue to.

Either way, I think you are absolutely allowed to feel your disappointment! This is a frustration safe zone! There was a lot of potential this season, especially for Colin, that I feel has been dropped. But even IF that article contains some truth (big, heavy IF). . .idk, I see it through the lens that lot of us Demi folks have had sex. Even no strings attached sex. I know I have. Was I disassociated from it for a lot of the time? Yeah. Was it satisfying? No. But did it happen? It did. I chose to take part in it, and they were experiences that helped me grow. And I am no less Demi for it! IF this article is true, instead of us freaking. . .I feel like it could tell us a lot about Colin's character.

He is a man who has had, largely, no good role models in his life. Not in this regard. Who does he have to guide him? Anthony? Literally said he should have taken Colin to brothels. Benedict? Hell, he had a threesome himself. Why wouldn't Colin be out here thinking 'This is what Men do, this is what my brothers do, why not?' Colin is young. He's 23 still trying to find himself. And the entire idea of 'oh, he's a nerd! no way he's had threesomes' lol, like nerds aren't kinky? Come on, I'm a nerd and I've done way more than people would assume I have. He was traveling for months, and I think this really isn't as huge a deal as we're making it out to be. I ship Polin exclusively, and I love the idea of them having their firsts together, but I'm also not angry otherwise. In my mind, he's still demi. Just like he'll always be ND, even if it isn't confirmed.

Sidenote, o want to touch on something that is somewhat unrelated to your post, but something I'm seeing a lot is the whole 'it's dehumanizing for him to watch two women!' or 'it's lesbian fetishization!'

from the very bottom of my heart, as a gay woman, people saying that can eat me. These are the same people who didn't care about any of our representation, before. They didn't care about having lesbian characters, didn't bring them up. Now that it affects their (largely) het pairing, and specifically Colin as a perfect prize in a pairing he has largely been denied a narrative within, we're talking pieces and pawns for their discontent? No, I refuse. There are legitimate criticisms that can and should take place about Bridgerton's lack of care toward wlw, and especially that our only representation may actually just be a lesbian performance for the sake of a threesome, but this is not a criticism on COLIN. It is a criticism on the PRODUCTION. Because if we had queer women in the series before, it wouldn't be an issue. However, I refuse to have my sexuality used as a 'ewwww gross! look what they're doing! isn't that soooo wrong?' gotcha moment by people who just don't like his character. If we're gonna have a conversation about it, we should have a conversation about it based purely on our actual desire to protect and care for queer women. Not using us as stepping stone soap boxes to prop up an argument.

Queer people are really done dirty in the Polin fandom, and this is proof of it. Demi!Colin is important to me, and he continues living on in my heart and my fics, and even if it turns out that he's fucked up and down the Amalfi coastline and watched live porn, that won't make him less demi to me, personally. Ace spec people's experience with sex is all unique, and honestly, watching seems very in line with Colin's character. I don't agree with peeps who call it weird or gross that he watches porn.

This is an incredibly puritanical fandom, and I find it more and more evident as I spend time in it. The entire 'suffering' 'penance' 'deserve her' 'grovel' train was already very clear in that regard, and then people only wanting Colin to be a virgin so he remained 'pure' and 'untarnished' (legit takes I had to read with my own eyeballs) for Penelope was so Catholic on main that it made me feel insane.

Us ace-spec peeps deserve to be and should have the space to be upset at any developments taking place! We also deserve to be free from people doing pseudo pearl clutching and hiding behind feminist and queer-friendly language to disguise that they're just upset that Colin is getting anything at all in his storyline that centers around him and his own discovery outside of Penelope. Even if he isn't a virgin, he can absolutely still be Demi, Anon! And I hope that brings you some comfort.

Am I a fan of the threesomes foursomes moresomes and live porn speculation? No, not particularly. Am I livid furious throwing up about it? Also no. This series has betrayed me and disappointed me in so many ways, but so has the fandom. I guess I'm accustomed to it, now. But I want to reiterate that we should not believe everything that is posted. Some rando on a reddit forum confirming a tabloid article does not investigative journalism and peer review and confirmed sources make.

But in the event that the season does disappoint and gives us some baffling storylines: this is where fanfic can be such a comfort. It's how a story lives on in perpetuity. I've written trans!Colin and queer!Colin and demi!Colin and virgin!Colin and bdsm!Colin and all sorts! We can give we everything we want. It's our playground and it's meant to be fun.

But over my dead body will I believe a Sun UK article lol

#tagging because i was asked to make it public #polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #hot takes are hot i guess?

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iicheeze · 1 year

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3 MONTHS, 3 DAYS, AND 33 MINUTES

3 MONTHS, 3 DAYS, AND 33 MINUTES MASTERLIST

SUMMARY || you've always had feelings for your gray haired senior. To the point that you'd confess to the man in front of the whole Akademiya. Pitying you, he gives you 3 months, 3 days and 33 minutes to make him fall for you. Let the roller coaster of chaos begin!

PAIRINGS || Alhaitham x Gender Neutral Reader, slight Kaveh x reader

TW || cringe, use of slangs, the opposite of funny i guess idk just read it to see 😭

TAGLIST || @star-star-fall-inlove @nachotrash @baelloraa @itonashi @tanspostsblog @kalpie

(bold means I can't tag you)

CHAPTER I — ugly person thinks they're hot and confesses to crush in front of the whole Akademiya

“ I HAVE DECIDED! TODAY'S THE DAY! ”

Your yells echoed through the dorm hall, surprising everyone currently in it. Yet everyone understands what your words meant.

“ TODAY??? ” “ OH MY GOSH, THEY'RE GONNA DO IT. ” “ HOLY SHIT PREPARE YOUR POPCORNS ”

You've always had a FAT, MASSIVE, UNREQUITED love for a certain gray haired man in your college.

Sure, his personality may not be the best, but good lord, is his tits i mean body gorgeous.

But the thing is,

You two haven't even met yet.

You only saw him when you were running for your life to get into a lecture you're clearly late to.

And boy, did you fall.

Both literally and figuratively.

You may look and be labelled as the delusional weirdo in the college for wanting to confess to the man, BUT!

You still believe you have a chance.

Even if it's below 1%, you'll take the chance.

How will you confess to him?

Easy.

“ I LOVE YOU, ALHAITHAM! WILL YOU GO ON A DATE WITH ME? ”

You yelled, getting your feeling off your chest as you kneel with one knee, hand inviting the male in front of you.

However, the man in front of you is currently horrified. Not to mention, disgusted.

First of all, WHO ARE YOU??

Second of all, WHY IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING AKADEMIYA.

Third of all, why do you look like your proposing when you two aren't even acquaintances of any sort.

“ OH MY GOD. SOMEONE'S ACTUALLY BRAVE ENOUGH TO CONFESS TO HIM?? ” “ Bro, they're gonna be executed fr fr.... in public too... ” “ oh shit man, they're gonna get barbequed 😭 ” “ honestly, i'd be down bad for him too ” “ BABE??? ”

“ YES, GO CONFESS YOUR HEART OUT SLAY ” Your friend, Yoimiya cheered at the back of the crowd.

Currently, you and Alhaitham are in the middle of a circle-shaped crowd, all facing your way.

Finally taking time to actually breathe, Alhaitham sighed.

This person definitely belongs in a mental asylum.

“ I- I don't even know your name. ” The [taller/shorter] man exclaimed, “ It's [Name]! [Name] [Last Name]!! I fell in love with you ever since I saw you!! ” You stated loudly, as multiple laughs and chuckles were heard from the crowd.

The man scoffed.

“ Look, [Last Name]. I don't even know you, your major, what you do, what you don't do. How am I even supposed to go on a date with you when both you and I clearly have no knowledge about each other? ”

“ WE COULD GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER!! ” You stated, with a brave tone. In reality, you were breaking down on the inside. Good god, is he actually giving you a chance?? Out of all 1682628272 universe??

You were so pathetic it actually made him pity you. Your attempt was pathetic, your way of confessing was pathetic, good lord, even the way you dress is pathetic. You look even more homeless than a homeless person!

Alhaitham has encountered many types of people. Greedy ones, selfish ones, spoiled ones, ugly ones, pretty ones, kind ones.

Yet he has NEVER, EVER.

Seen a being so pathetic like you.

But he can't help but find this situation a little amusing.

“ Hmph, fine then. How about we make a deal? ” The man asked, tempting the person currently still kneeling on one knee.

“ I will give you the amount of exactly 3 MONTHS, 3 DAYS, AND 33 MINUTES to get you to make me fall for you. If you don't manage to do that, we will never see each other anymore for the rest of this timeline. ”

Was this just an intimidation tactic or is he actually asking for a deal?

“ And what if I manage to make you fall for me before the time limit is up? ” Sparkles seemed to appear around you, hope once again seemed to win the bloody fight of despair.

“ .. We'll see about that. Just to let you know, I'm not an easy man. ” His face grew closer to yours, your nose almost touching his. “ Well, I'm not one to easily give up as well. ” You replied, a smirk plastered on your face.

“ Yeah, we'll see. ” The control of his voice was so immaculate, you can't help but feel shivers down your bones. And upon saying that, he left. Seeming to disappear in the crowd.

Good lord, that was so hot.

You were originally going to stand up from your bone breaking position you've been holding for so long. But....

You realize you can't move.

“ WAIT, I CAN'T MOVE. MY CRAMPS. HAITHAM, HELP ”

author's note: sorry if this chapter is short 😭 the next following chapters will be way longer than this one as this is supposed to be like a prologue or introduction if yk wat i mean HSJHSJS

If there are any questions you can ask them at the comments!! and if there are any mistakes, please tell me!!

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bobamilkk · 11 months

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TF2 HEADCANONS PART TWO ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

I told myself I’d get these up one of these days👍 I finished this list at 4 am last night so none of this makes any sense and every word is more chaotic than the ones before it and no I’m not sorry y’all sighed up for this bs

Scout

-Can understand a good chunk of French but can’t speak more than a few simple words if that, has no clue how he understands it (Spy spoke a good amount of French around him as a baby or something idk)

-Can be just has hard to find as Spy-once you loose sight of him he’s impossible to find if he’s actually trying to stay hidden-Like father like son

-Can and will steal your food-this includes Heavy and Medic-He has no fear whatsoever and has been sent to respawn god knows how many fucking times because of this-And yet he still does it

-Loves scifi movies and comics and if you watch a movie with him half of it is him pointing out random trivia facts because he’s incapable of shutting the fuck up (this is also what happens when you watch a movie with me irl. My grandparents are sick and tired of it. Yes this is even more self projection what of it?)

-has mastered the younger sibling talent of fucking climbing people if it means getting something that’s held over his head. He also bites

Soldier

-it’s impossible to tell if he’s insulting you or complimenting you 90% of the time

-Has stabbed Scout’s hand to the table to prevent him from stealing food before and no one stopped him

-The team has movie nights once a week and Soldier always puts on the same inaccurate WW2 documentary he made himself when it’s his turn to pick-he used to put on 10 hours of the American National Anthem but someone (read: The rest of the team working together) lost (read: Violently destroyed) the tape after the third time

-I said he was from Missouri once in a rp cuz my rp friend and I are both from different parts of Missouri so that’s my hc now

Pyro

-I always hc him as Irish for some reason idk why

-Can casually pick up every merc except for Heavy-He struggles a bit with Medic because that man is pure muscle but they can indeed pick him up

-May or may not be a cannibal-it’s a little uncertain but either way they’re banned from the kitchen and cooking duty

-I’m a sucker for the hc that he does not like water whatsoever-Getting this man a bath is like trying to bathe a cat except somehow even more deadly

Demo

-This may be the impulsive sleep deprivation but my brain randomly went “What If he can see general ghosts because of his possessed eye socket, not just Eyelander or the scream fortress ghosts” so sometimes people walk in on him casually having a conversation with the air. Considering he’s made out with his own organs in his head, this is one of the less weird things they’ve walked in on him doing

-Surprisingly he’s the best with kids out of all 9 mercs, Heavy is a good runner up though and Spy’s not far behind but will never admit it

Heavy

-Accent gets thicker when he’s talking to people he cares about

-Was the one who suggested the movie nights in the first place

-Actually cleans up in the base unlike literally everyone else

Engie

-People don’t realize how unhinged this man is ok??? Anyways he’s a caffeine addict and has developed the habit of pulling way too many all nighters if it means getting work done (like me. It’s 4 am as I work on this list. Help)

-What’s a southern farm boy without a few dozen concerning stories about pushing cousins out of second story barn windows or near drowning fishing story? My cousins lived on a farm when we were kids and they scared the shit out of me I swear there was a new broken bone every summer

-probably once had a sleep deprived mental breakdown on his workshop floor because the sweet tea one of the mercs made him wasn’t sweet enough idk man I’m sleep deprived rn and could really use a southern style sweet tea

Medic

-Mann vs Machine hc that his hometown would rather deal with the robots than having Medic anywhere near them ever again. They want him GONE

-Sleeps like a fucking corpse-You can’t even tell he’s breathing unless you look closely. He even crosses his arms like a corpse

-Will take you graverobbing for a romantic date-gotta get experiment canvases somehow he’s running out of room on the other mercs without them just dropping dead from it all

Sniper

-The opposite of a morning person, but his internal clock won’t let him sleep in ever. The suns up? He’s up! Someone help him

-Has befriended a wild owl and feeds it at night-The offense trio very violently helped him name it (They fist fought eachother over who’s name was better while Sniper spaced out thinking about random gator facts)

Spy

-An adrenaline junkie but will never ever admit it

-Spy can mimic voices to a near perfect even without his disguise kit-he however rarely uses this and instead simply mocks everyone instead because he finds it funny (“This is Scout! Rainbows make me cry!”)

-Wears a corset because I said so-It always matches perfectly with his outfit and underwear too-He feels SO bonita

Bonus since it’s Pride Month

-Scout is gay and so many levels deep in the closet it’s embarrassing-He’s also trans because I said so

-Soldier is trans, bi, and poly :) his list of wives consists of anyone and everyone /j

-Spy is bi and a cis man who wears dresses regularly he’s gnc af and I love that for him he’s my wife now

-Medic is gay and still legally married to his wife they’re mlm wlm solidarity married for tax benefits /j

-Pyro is trans, non-binary, and pan and uses he/they pronouns because I said so

-None of these men are straight ok

-Medic did both Scout and Soldier’s top surgery but both of them instead have overly extravagant extremely gorey stories on how they got their scars

#hi can you see my bias yet?#god I love them all #they’re the found family ever #tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 hcs #tf2 headcanons #team fortress 2 headcanons #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 demoman #tf2 demo #tf2 heavy #tf2 Engie #tf2 engineer #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy

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13tinysocks · 2 months

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hey dude! What's up :)) been just a little since l've said something

Initially, this is me saying thank you and goodbye

This isn't supposed to be a weird pity story, so l'm so unbelievably sorry if it comes off that way, lol.

When I began reading your work, I was enamoured with fiction because of personal issues (as many usually are, honestly, I know I'm one of god knows how many people trying to run away from life for just a second with fanfics or media in general). I don't know if I will ever be able to communicate this properly, hell, this will even be unbelievable funny or dramatic but I need to get this across because it's coming from a genuine place. Your stories and work thus far has brought me comfort, immense heaps of it, and even still when I deal with things that feel out of reach or too much to actually face head on I find myself wandering back to syg or just your blog in general

I mean this, from my entire heart, thank you and thank Bee. A million times thank you, for making that one silly silly stupid piece of fanfiction, because oh my god it got me through some major stressful hardships within my life for the past 3 years.

I am leaving tumblr, however I’m aware I have submitted asks with my actual accounts before, so you'll likely be able to see they're still gonna be up. I'm just deleting tumblr the app instead of my account, but for other social platforms they will be deleted properly (such as quotev) so I won’t be indulging in much reading anymore when it comes to fanfics and such lol

I don't know if I'll come back, if I do I likely will not be back for long or to be as active as l've been because of the toll social media’s taken. So even as ridiculous as this feels, to tell someone I’m simply a fan of and barely truly know, that their fanfic of murderers and their love story with my self insert kept me pushing through a lot of tough days, I genuinely just had to.

I needed to thank both you and your partner for the work you've both put out. I still have that smiley pin I’d made, and I will cherish what you made quotev have been for me ( I literally found out about the website during early or late 2020 I can barely remember, then later found your fic, I was DEEP DIVING into that shit LMAO )

I hope whatever happens for you and bee in the future is only good, and I only will wish nothing but the best of luck with everything man.

feel free to post this (idk what it’s called but when you publicly reply lol) or not, as long as you read this it’ll mean lots to me !! >:))

your coolest weirdest ticci toby fan whose also named toby, 🐚 annon

I always struggle to convey gratefulness for messages like this and readership- especially repeated readership. My life would be different if it were not for comments and messages egging us on to keep writing from syg to ho1c. While it's easy to say that writing is solely out of passion for the craft there is also the drive to share something with others. Hearing those others loud or quiet as a favorite- does push us forward when we have no motivation or desire to work. That drive has made us closer as a couple, better thinkers, and a halfway decent writing team. I thank you and all the others who send us stuff even if it's shit post asks I never answer because I like having them in my inbox like a personal horde of platonic Valentine's. I like keeping the pieces you give me to myself sometimes. I know it may seem like I'm ignoring you but I find genuine comfort in these messages. That there are so many. That they are so varied. That we have reached beyond our shut-in existence to touch the lives of others.

I find myself wondering where an anon has gone when I do not hear from them in awhile. I wish them well. I wish them better standards than us.

Maybe we'll meet again someday space cowboy. If you're ever back in town feel free to shoot me (a message).

Thank you for reaching out. Thank you for reading. I wish you peace and love and good books.

#though i may be inactive as of lates my thoughts have not been #abby and i talk about you #abby and i talk about a lot of you #we are happy to be present day comforts or 2020 nostalgia #🐚#anon #reply #long post

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cookinguptales · 8 months

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I will say, though, that sometimes you try to talk yourself out of your feelings for a long time and then you talk to someone outside of the situation and they're like "what the fuck" and you're like OH okay I have a right to feel weird and bad and stressed out.

I guess it's easy to feel stupid because you actually are affected when people are actively trying to affect you, especially when it's something like writing on the internet, which is just... always going to get harassment. Like when I say I've gotten messages about how people like me should be euthanized in the past over tumblr posts. :')

So you're like "oh, random shitty people is just something that everyone deals with, I should shut up and stop being a baby about it" and then you actually show the messages you're getting to someone and they're like ???? what????

Like I shared my inbox with my hairstylist when we were chatting a few days ago, and he was like ???? This man is not in fandom, so when he saw the kind of shit I was getting over not liking a finale of a tv show, he was shocked. Which... was kind of gratifying. It made me feel less crazy. lmao

Kind of reminds me of when I wrote this really personal essay about disability a few years ago and it won a contest. The people running the contest gave me uhhh quite a bit of money and asked me to keep writing for their site for more money. Like when I tell you I was literally on IRL conference calls with these people asking me why I stopped writing for them.

And I was finally like "...well, there's this feature on your site where you can tag other users in your essays, and after I won people kept writing their own essays about how much I didn't deserve to win, about how "lucky" I was to have a sob story that was attractive to the judges, about how whiny I was, people questioning my disability, etc. And since they tagged me, this was filling my email inbox and it really stressed me out. But if you look at the actual comments on the story, you don't see any of that. So it was kind of invisible harassment."

And the rep was horrified. She had never even considered that someone might use the feature like that. She was like WE'LL INVESTIGATE THIS and I was like. sure, okay. But getting that taste of the spotlight was already enough to make me peace out for good, tbh. Even though I knew that a lot of it was just sour grapes because they wanted to win themselves, and I knew that a lot of what they were saying wasn't valid, the sheer force of the animosity against me was overwhelming.

Like... it's not a crime to have your feelings hurt when someone is actively trying to hurt your feelings. It's natural, I guess, even if you feel kind of stupid about it.

I guess it's kind of wild to me that we just take it for granted that anyone who speaks up is gonna get yelled at online. Any prominent writer or activist you see is probably getting daily cruelty, if not outright death threats. And you just -- you have to have such a certain temperament to deal with all that. And I don't have it. I get easily overwhelmed and stressed when people are mad at me and I know it's not ideal but it is who I am. I joke about it, but I really kind of do feel like a small nervous dog sometimes.

And I wonder, sometimes, how many great voices we never hear from because of this expectation of harassment. Someone says something, gets some shitty trolly comment, then goes back in their hole and never talks again. Or they see the way other people get treated and they never speak up in the first place.

idk, I don't mean to be a martyr about this and I'm sure other people are getting the kinds of messages I am but like. God, it is so weird and disheartening to realize that a few people have been sending you nasty messages for literally months when you block an anon from your inbox and you see what else disappears. There are people who are so mad at me that they've sent me angry messages for months. Because I don't have the same opinions they do about a tv show.

It kind of makes you want to never talk about anything ever again. :(

#just me #I've actually been literally stalked twice because of fandom #one much worse than the other #so maybe I'm just extra sensitive #but man it does not feel good #I Do Not Wish To Be Observed #but I do want people to read the things I write #a terrible conundrum lmao #it just all gets so weirdly personal so fast

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meshlasolus · 2 years

Text

House Of Memories (23/?)

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Padawan!reader

Warnings: oof, drinking, pining, angst, the beginning of literal depression idk

Summary: Yours and Anakin's mission goes haywire, and you choose to deal with it, among your other problems, but going to a bar accompanied by him and his darling wife, the senator.

A/n: this is so much longer than it needs to be but you guys i saw some awesome pictures my brother took when we went to the cantina in galaxy's edge the other day and my inspiration skyrocketed so fast- also i highly recommend getting a reservation there if you can the scenery alone is worth it

Words: 4k

It had been weeks since the escapade with Satine, who you'd tried as hard as you could to push to the back of your mind. Really, you'd been trying to push her out of it, but with the murmurs of what happened with her and the Death Watch cult, she kept circulating in your thoughts from time to time.

You and Anakin had been assigned on a mission together while Ahsoka was sent to train cadets on Mandalore, and Obi-Wan was off world temporarily with Quinlan Vos. It was an easy mission, for the most part. Get in, steal information from the database, and get out. The problem with that was a man named Count Dooku, quite literally the person you despised most in the galaxy. He always acted like he was still compelled by the light side of the force, trying to regain relationships with people he once called friends. The reality of it was his need for endless power drove him to the darkness.

He had been waiting for you both upon arrival, taunting and tantalizing you both with his fancy speech, which had beat around the bush several times until he practically admitted he was prepared for your attack since the mission was set in motion. Needless to say, you failed, and both you and Anakin were taking it pretty hard. You lost a lot of clones that day, and had come home with half as many as you left with.

"It was my fault," he said, ducking his head into his hands. You scooted closer and rubbed his back in soothing circles.

"It's not. Neither of us could have possibly known that it would be a set up."

He shook his head, raising it slightly only to show you he'd been in a deep state of distress. You wrapped him up in a hug, letting his head fall on your shoulder as you kept affirming him.

He was a Jedi knight, now. A great general of the republic. He felt responsible because he had to. He hated when those feelings came over him, but every so often, something went wrong, and he couldn't help it.

"I will speak to the council when we return, if anyone gets reprimanded for this, I can take it. I've gotten sort of used to it by now," you chuckled a little, but it did little to lighten the mood. The ship was completely silent save for your conversation, and the steady whir of the engines.

"I am too, believe me. We'll go together, whatever they have to say can be said to both of us."

You silently agreed, resting a hand on his shoulder and keeping it steady for the remainder of the flight.

Well that went horrible. Absolutely horrible. Right off the bat, you mentioned that you had to crash a speeder to divert the attention of other clones getting away. Normally that would be considered a good thing, getting your men to safety and destroying enemy property while you were at it. The thing was, it was in the middle of a city, so no, it was not enemy property. You crashed a private mode of transportation. They revoked you of your piloting certification for the time being.

You were completely appalled by their decision and yelled about it to their faces. You regretted it instantly when you were done, but of course, with being a hot head, there were even more consequences. You were suspended from any and all missions until Obi-Wan returned. You stormed out of the room before they were finished and met Anakin in the hallway when he was done.

He didn't look so happy either; when he told you the reason why, you felt bad for him.

"You didn't need to stand up for me. It's clear they hate us both, and when we gang up on them, they despise us entirely," you threw your head back against the wall, the sting of the cold metal was distracting, for a few short seconds. You needed something to take your mind off this whole thing, and your usual solution was off world, probably not to return until tomorrow at the earliest. You doubted leaning on Obi-Wan's shoulder while he read in the library was going to help you with this much stress anyway.

You weren't sure where the urge came from, but you wanted to go out and get drunk, something Jedi were never supposed to do. You were to be alert and sober at all times, being the perfect symbol of a protector should anyone need you... but you'd been suspended temporarily, and Anakin was to take a short break from missions as well.

"Is Padme in the city?" you asked, wondering if maybe she could get you both into one of the more high-end clubs on this side of Coruscant.

"She is, but only until tomorrow. She has business to attend to back on Naboo. I'll probably be escorting her," he said, leaning against the same wall that you were, and you began to smirk with your eyes closed.

"Perfect."

"Oh no, what are you thinking?"

Oh no was a bit of a stretch, because once you'd explained to him your intentions, he was very keen to oblige you. It seemed impossible to not have fun when you had your favorite people with you, in an environment that was made for losing control and having the best time you can possibly have.

You'd never drunk anything really heavy before, although some of the older Padawans in the temple had taken you and Anakin out before to do some secret drinking, you weren't sure how much you could handle. You were almost positive that based on the strength and endurance of your right mind alone, you wouldn't be a light weight. You just hoped you'd be able to walk into your apartment again tonight without stumbling into someone. All you needed was to get drunk and crash into Mace Windu upon entering the place. You'd be expelled for sure... or at least until Obi-Wan got back, protesting until you were reinstated.

You hated hiding behind him all the time, because you wanted to prove to others that you were strong and capable enough to handle your own battles, but at the same time, you knew battling the council was a losing game, and that the only hope you had of defeating them was to let Obi-Wan save you. He didn't mind saving you all the time, which you appreciated, but often wondered about. It could not possibly be energizing to argue over the sake of another human being, and yet, he did. It must be exhausting to defend you on the daily. You'd have to find a way to thank him some time for it.

"Here, try this," Anakin slid you something in a tall glass, bright yellow in color and glowing against the steal countertop.

You raised an eyebrow before taking it in your hands to inspect it first. You sniffed it once, deeming it very acidic, before scrunching up your face and letting out a breath, downing it anyway.

Anakin looked surprised, his eyes wide and his jaw slack as he watched your reaction to that much alcohol at once. You cringed, the sting of it going down your throat was not pleasant, and not something you were used to, but in a few seconds, you already began to feel the tingling effects of it in your bloodstream. The energy, the cloudiness, the intoxication.

"Well, you weren't supposed to have the whole thing at once," he commented, but it was already far too late for that. Padme came up behind him, her shimmering evening dress was very beautiful under the lights. She watched on with concern for you, knowing you weren't like this usually, and if you were willing to do something Obi-Wan didn't want you doing, your mind must have really needed an escape.

"I think that's enough to drink for you," she took the glass from your hand and shoved it in the direction on the bar tender, who grabbed it and flipped it up onto the rack with ease. He was putting on some sort of a show to impress the patrons, throwing drink mixers, washing glasses, and serving guests, all while paying close attention to the Jedi visitors who had never been in here before.

"No, I need more. I can still think straight," you joked, your laughter carrying over a little too long for you to be considered sober. You weren't a lightweight per say, but perhaps just easily tipsy.

"That's the point. We don't want you in any more trouble with the council, and what about Obi-Wan? You know he wouldn't approve of you doing this," Padme was trying to be the voice of reason but was having a very hard time doing so when a half-drunk Anakin started pressing soft kisses into the crook of her neck.

"If he were here, I wouldn't be," you scoffed, turning to the tender and ordering another drink. Something small, but strong. "And besides, you might wanna get him home before he gets too handsy in public. I'll take the tram back to the temple when I'm done, I promise."

Your word of being responsible didn't quite ease her mind, but she almost considered it, seeing as Anakin was getting a little bit too intoxicated to function. She shook her head, standing her ground and breaking away from Anakin as she came right beside you. She knew that some of the patrons here were more often than not disrespectful to women, and even though you had a lightsaber strapped to your hip, it wasn't always enough when you were alone, much less drunk.

"Stay here, don't drink anything else until I get back," she said with a pointed finger. You put your arms up in fake surrender before watching her leave to a corner of the club, taking her holo-transmitter in hand.

You took the drink that the bar tender slid to you, nodding in thanks before tipping it to your mouth.

"I'm not a snitch, but you really shouldn't drink anything until she's back. She has a way of knowing things. She'll get very angry very fast when she finds out."

"If," you corrected him, "if she finds out. And besides, I have a way of knowing things, too."

"Yes, I believe that's called the force. She doesn't need it, she just knows."

You slammed back the green liquid, feeling a burn that not only hit your throat, but made your eyes water slightly. It was pain, but it was different pain. The type of pain you inflict on yourself just because it feels good.

"Well, that could be because you're married to her," you joked, feeling the buzz circulate your head more. You weren't able to quite get to a place of drunkenness, and you were upset about it. Anakin didn't ever seem like he was able to, either. You supposed beings with higher M counts were less susceptible to the aftereffects of being intoxicated. It made sense. The force was the base of all existing life, and you both were practically super-powered by it. It probably gave you a bit more immunity in order to protect your mind.

"Or because I've seen her in the senate, I'm telling you... she just knows."

"Alright then, let's have another drink together, see if she knows about it when she gets back," you said, haling over the bar tender to top both you and Anakin off yet again. He did so quickly and efficiently, and in no time, you were clinking glasses, downing the liquid as fast as you could. You were done first, and you chalked that up to Anakin being slow at ingesting literally anything. You remembered how long it would take him just to finish a glass of Bantha milk when you both were kids.

You were about to set your glasses back down on the counter when you both felt a hard smack come across the back of your heads.

Ow..

"I told you not to drink anymore," she said, her voice becoming a bit louder than it usually was. She was by no means a quiet person, as a senator she was loud and well spoken, but now she was just loud. "And you, need I remind you that she is your responsibility till Obi-Wan gets here?"

"I'm not anyone's responsibility but my own, besides, Anakin should honestly-" you paused mid-sentence, cutting yourself off to rethink about her last words. "I'm sorry, did you say here? As in he's coming to this bar?"

"I just got off a transmission with him. He's back on Coruscant early."

You dropped your jaw, looking at her like she'd done something unbearable. You raised your hands up and pretended to crush something in them, your face doing a good enough job of conveying to her your emotions without words, although you still had quite some words to say.

"I can't believe you called him," you stressed, being overly dramatic in your hand motions as you continued. "I'm going to be punished for the rest of my life! I'll never become a knight! I'll probably never see the light of tomorrow!"

"Oh, calm down, he wasn't mad," she explained her face was as dull as could be, and Anakin was watching from behind her in pure amusement. He knew he shouldn't be laughing, but the scene you were causing on this side of the bar was definitely cheering him up from the events of today.

"You don't know what Obi-Wan looks like when he's mad," you told her, but she was right. When she called him, he had shown no signs of hostility, or even anger at your situation.

"Maybe not, but I know what he looks like when he's concerned."

You shut up for a moment, some of the alcohol beginning to take effect, not so much in slurring your speech, or slowing your reaction time, but in making your thoughts spin around in your head like a blender.

"He'll be here any minute, and I don't think you want to be here when he shows," she turned to Anakin, handing her the ignition pod for the speeder you all took here. "Go out and wait for me, and don't even think about flying."

He dropped his shoulders, realizing the fun of the evening was coming to an end. He understood she was being wise in making sure you were delivered into the hands of Obi-Wan safely, but he didn't understand why he had to leave. Oh, yes, he did. Obi-Wan wouldn't yell at you in public, but he'd never had to twice about giving Anakin an earful when he did something stupid.

Now that he knew of Obi-Wan's feelings for you, he knew that it would enrage his old master to know that Anakin took you out drinking, even though it was your idea.

"Would you like to enlighten me on the real reason Anakin suggested we come here?" she had a mothering tone, almost. It was funny, your lack of mother figure caused you to see it in even your closest of friends, heck, even Ahsoka, who stood several years younger than you could remind you of a mom sometimes.

"I would not," you said, your head becoming a little lighter as your eyes began to see the lights in the room a little differently. You mind was becoming fuzzy, but not blurred. You weren't drunk, but you were still quite far from sober.

"Are you doing this out of spite?" She was guessing now, seeing if she could get anything out of you. For her sake of sleeping tonight, she wanted to know this wasn't an actual issue. "Look, I know how you feel about him, but this isn't going to get his attention in a good way."

"That's not why I'm doing it," you said, finally turning to look at her and give her the real reason why you were here, why she was here, and why Anakin had been here. "I need him to see that I'm old enough to make my own decisions. I want him to trust me to make them myself and not hover over my shoulder to keep watch."

"He does trust you to make you own decisions, but it disappoints him when you make bad ones."

You understood what she was saying but didn't want to take it into consideration. You knew Obi-Wan was probably going to give you a lecture this evening on the dangers of your behavior, it was inevitable.

"This is a bad decision then, hmm?" you weren't mad at her, but your intoxicated mind was not able to filter the tone in which the words were spoken. It came out harsher than you had intended.

"It was a decision you made without thinking, which is another reason why he's disappointed. He loves you more than you know, and he only wants what's best for you."

You scoffed, beginning to sip the water that Padme had set in front of you, trying to help sober your mind a bit more. Not that you were all too affected to begin with.

"He doesn't love me, he can't," you knew what she meant, but the lines of love in your mind had been running an awful close stretch lately, and you wanted to bring it up just so you could tell her how much you hated yourself for it. "He can never be with me the way I want him to be."

"If I've learned anything from Obi-Wan, it's that only a Sith deals in absolutes. Just look at Anakin and I... How can you be so sure he'll never consider it?" She made a valiant point there, but you had something she did not yet know about.

"Why don't you ask your dear friend Satine Kryze?" You looked back ahead of you, clenching your jaw after that name left your lips. They tasted bad, the words that were her name. You didn't like letting them loose from your mouth.

"The duchess?" She asked confused. She furrowed her brows, shaking her head as if what you said was crazy. Maybe you were really drunk.

"Mhm, from what I understand, she and my Master have some complicated history."

Oh, she thought. You were jealous and having learned about the man your affections lied with having perhaps a past relationship with a woman who has since made her way back into his life, you weren't handling it well.

"Were they-?"

"Yep." you said shortly, the word cutting off any chances of her finishing that sentence. You hated that it was reality. You wished she didn't exist. You wished Satine Kryze had never been born, or better yet, you wished that her assassination attempts had been successful. You wished you hadn't helped Obi-Wan save her.... but you always helped him, no matter the cost.

"I'm sorry," she said, finally understanding what this whole entire escapade was about. The jealousy, the need for independence, the craving of something to intoxicate your mind. It all made sense, now. She was regretting calling Obi-Wan, but perhaps the best thing for you would be to talk it out.

"Yeah, me too."

It was then, you sensed a familiar presence enter the doorway, and upon seeing you look over, Padme mimicked your actions and her eyeline met with Obi-Wan, who indeed, was not angry. He wore a look of concern and fear on his face and making eye contact with you seemed to dull that if only a little.

The ride back to the temple was completely silent, as you sensed he thought you were drunk, and not coherent enough to listen to his words deeply enough if he spoke to you. You could have easily mended that, asking him about his mission, but you were far too focused on avoiding getting reprimanded.

He didn't say anything to you until he got you home, into the main room of your apartment. He stripped you of your cloak, hanging it by the doorway and watching you take a seat on the couch. It was only then he realized you were sober enough to understand what you'd done, and you were readying yourself to speak with him about it.

He didn't even know how to start; how should he start? In all the years he'd trained you, you'd never done anything truly bad or disobedient to the rules. You and Anakin were plenty mischievous, but you weren't bad. You were his beam of light, that could do no wrong. The one who made him feel like maybe hope was more existent in what seemed like an endless war. You were the optimist, the encourager, and as he always said, you were the light incarnate.

"Little one," he sat down across from you and sensed your guilt. It was only now that he felt it in rippling waves, and he figured it was because only now, when you were home and, in his presence, that you really thought about your actions. "I know that you're not one to act so impulsively like this. Something is bothering you, and I can't help you unless you tell me what it is."

"You can't help me with this, master."

His heart cracked a little at hearing the formal term you'd used with him. You were shutting up all your walls, making it impossible for him to even find a trace of evidence as to what could possibly be driving you towards these actions.

He moved from his seat to kneel in front of you, lifting your head so that your eyes were visible. They were filled with unshed tears, but you would not let them fall. You'd cried in front of him countless times before, but now you held them back, trying to avoid any signs of weakness. He'd already seen many, though. He didn't care; he wanted to help you, to make all your problems go away. You loved him for it. For many reasons among that, of which you were too tired to name.

"Let me try," he was looking at you with something you hadn't seen in his eyes before. He seemed to be concerned, but more than that, he seemed angry. Not at you, but at whatever was making you feel this way. "Please."

And then the tears were coming, pouring out in droves that you could not control even if you wished you could. It hurt so badly to think the man before you were the reason for these tears, because he had done nothing but be kind and good to you for all the days of your life. It was only because of your stupid feelings that he made you cry. If only he knew.

"Hold me," you whispered, closing your eyes and waiting for a response. He instantly came to your side and clung to you, whatever you needed. He pulled you into his chest, and tightly tucked you in his embrace. He wouldn't be letting go anytime soon, and he was just fine with it. "I'm sorry."

He wanted to say not to apologize, that it was okay, and you were going to be alright, but he wasn't actually sure of any of those things. He couldn't be. You were going through something horrible, and refused to tell him what it was, so how could everything be, okay?

"I know it seems like you have to go through this alone, but you don't. Whatever it is, tell me, I promise you I will do my best to fix it."

You didn't want him to keep fixing things for you. He did it because he loved you, but you didn't know that. You thought he did it because he didn't trust you to do it yourself. The thing in question, though, of which needed fixing, he couldn't truly fix if he wanted to. You had no idea why he did the things he did. You didn't know it was because he would move mountains and earth to make you happy. You only knew that your master cared for you far beyond what anyone else in the galaxy possibly could.

"I can't be fixed," you told him through your tears.

Love me, that's all I ask for. Then everything will be fixed. Then everything will be okay.

@spencerrxids @sawendel @fandomstanner24 @i-shall-abide @officialjellydoughnut @whatshxrname @darkened-writer @superavengerpotter @cutiepoo16 @hypnoash @softlymellow @howlerwolfmax @mephistominion @honestlywtfisgoingon @anakinskywalkerog @mandiiellen @je--a-n @guyinachair27 @avenger5-a55emble @amelia-song-pond @kaminanii @the-abyss-of-fandoms @queenofnightdreamland @world-dominating-kitty @mandowhatnow @ella-error505 @annahalo @infinity-witch @beetlejuice-stuff @liueski @solarbxby @sirianisrock @lxdyred @endless-warrior-always-fighter @iloveinej @msjb2002 @shoochi @itsilvermorny @gingerrosecosplay @sebschicken @loversjoy @argentinemango @1-800-vader @house-of-kolchek @marierg @graciexmarvel @ttzamara @truly-madly-nerdy @molieux @majahu @dyzlks @pancakefancake

#obi wan x padawan #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan series #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi x padawan!reader #obi wan kenobi show #ewan mcgregor #hayden christensen #anakin x reader #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #darth vader #padme amidala

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eunoiaastralwings · 1 year

Note

This ask has been on my mind since like FOREVER 💗💗💗💗💗💗

I was wondering if you could do a feanorians x little brother ft nolofinwe where y/n was born very weak and frail but was still loved by his family dearly just that because of his frail body he's constantly bullied and hit by other elflings (and maybe some adults). Whenever he sees his brothers and father he feels so utterly useless but bottles everything up .

Make it end up in fluff please 🙏🙏

Thank you and have a wonderful day/night ❣️

characters feanorians x little brother reader ft. Fingolfin

fandom tolkien- the silmarillion

a/n am still uneasily writing about kids - so I made it into a headcanon. Idk if this is what you intended am sorry - so you can request else where because idk what else to do this - but I hope you at least like it @oggy4god

warnings angry overprotective family members xD

FEANOR:

As your dad - expect him to treat you the same as any other of your brothers. He doesn’t care whether or not you were born weak - Feanor still wants to achieve your goals and dreams, like each of his other sons did. He would help you achieve it too.

Eru forbid if he witnesses anyone bullying you he will turn their lives to literal hell. He would protect you with his might and title - the most important to him being a father. He will allow no harm to come upon you. After your bullying incidents he keep just an extra eye and care on you - letting you know you can always talk to him. He will be extra caring on your side.

If you ever feel useless compared to him - he will tell you otherwise and make you shine with your skills, no matter how small they may be, he is so proud of you.

NERDANEL:

I love her, OK? I could not miss your hot momma out. Just like Feanor, she wouldn’t see you any less. You receive a little more attention from her (sometimes your brothers are a little jealous of this but they understand and love you) - more care too. She will encourage you and help you every step of the way to help you achieve your dreams - she sits with you day and night.

Nerdanel is someone who doesn’t like to use the terms “weak” or people referring to you having a “condition” - she likes to think you were extra blessed by Eru, especially when you start to show your kindness and uniqueness to the world - showing your hidden talents. She is the proudest mother - and she shows it.

Your mother would be first to witness the change in your moods - you starting to get depressed. She knows you very well and finds the reasons behind it without having to even question. She likes to deal with it quietly - but if your bullies ceases to stop, she is not afraid to take it to the next level. If she uses her title among the Nolder for anyone, it will be for her children - especially you darling.

Sometimes she cries herself to sleep - thinking about all that you had to face alone and how hard it must have been for you and why you didnt come to her.

In seeing you like this - she understands depression and other mental illnesses so she advises and helps to start therapy or retreats among elves - knowing it is more common than one would think.

Oh - and if it comes to having to get getting revenge on the kindergarten moms who bullied her kid. . . oh, she will ! ! !

Nerdanel consoles her son -and then takes her revenge on those who mistreated him.

MAEDHROS:

As your oldest brother - he advises you like a 2nd father, he isn’t afraid to step in when Feanor is away to come and protect you. He lets you take it a little more easier in training. When you cannot achieve anything as fast as your brothers - he sits down next to you and comforts you with small pet talks. He tries to make you feel better about yourself by telling the number of times he failed before achieving something - letting you know how things take time and life isn’t about a race. Mae tells you to believe in yourself and that is the most important thing - he tells you to listen to yourself and the people that are family - “They say many things - but you mustn’t listen to them, but to the people you keep in here” - points to your heart.

When you finally learn to achieve a level in your training - he has the biggest proud face. He picks you up and places you on his shoulders, cheering for you.

MAGLOR:

While your mother invites therapy for mental health - your big brother Maglor creates songs to boost up your self esteem. Ever seen music fights? - Yes, he does that to your bullies, before filling you with a heart warming and encouraging song like in those Disney movies - he becomes Baloo (The Jungle Book) or even Genie (Aladdin).

He becomes your personal cheerleader - singing from the top of his lungs as Mae carries you on his shoulders.

CELEGORM:

While he doesn’t show it well - he loves you greatly. If he ever sees anyone bullying you and making you feel bad about yourself - big bad brother Tyelko is going to threaten the very lives of your bullies, he becomes the bully of your bullies LMAOO.

He then feels better and drops in front of you - wrapping his arm around your shoulder insisting you go for a hunt that’s the only way he knows how to comfort. Otherwise he gets either Nerdanel, Mae or Maglor.

Expect Huan to be the bestest boi to protect you from big bad brother Tyelko is away to bully the bullies that tried to hurt you.

CARANTHIR:

If anyone learns of you being mistreated first, it is your overprotective big brother Cara - he sees red when he sees or hears of someone bullying you. Cara would straight up punch them in the face - he doesn’t care who/what they are: “HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK OF LAYING A HAND ON MY BABY BROTHER?!”

His words are searing with deadly anger - making them cower in fear. He will make sure they apologize to you - the one that you deserve. While Cara is caring, initially he is mad at you for hiding or bottling up everything. Afterwards he vows to let no harm come to you. Cara knows what it is like to be judged on - because of his ruddy freckles skin.

Slowly the both of you become closer to each other like this - gradually opening up to each other and he has the proudest look on his face when he sees you defending him, small tears even gathers in his eyes.

CURUFIN:

Like Cara - he is so mad you had no one told anyone of your mistreatments, he will report straight to Feanor. He doesn’t know how to comfort - he never learnt that so he pulls you to the others to give you comfort, though he becomes the extra pair of eyes to protect you from anyone who dares to mistreat you. He can be a little hard on you at times - but when he learns he’s causing you hurt too he immediately stops - he does care deeply for you but he doesn’t know how to help you otherwise.

AMBARUSSA:

Please - if your older twin brothers ever sees someone hurting you - expect them to prank (and scare) the life out of them. They are letting no one hurt you in any way - they take on their roles of becoming your big brothers very seriously - even if at times it seems like it doesn’t.

Sometimes during training they purposefully fall behind you making you go ahead of them or failing on pretend - because they love seeing that triumphant amazed smile on your face once in a while. They will literally do anything to make you happy - once even daring to cut the hair of your school teacher that was giving you a hard time - “He doesn’t deserve it - if he cannot treat someone as amazing you right ! ! ! - Even Atar isn’t mad at us!”

FINGOLFIN:

Best Uncle Nolofinwë seeing this precious little nephew getting mistreated? - Oh, he will not allow such a thing to happen, for a split second he is about to lose his anger like your father - but he controls it and does it the right way of reporting it and making sure they achieve their punishment to even dare to think of doing such a thing to you.

Afterwards - waiting for Feanor to come, he will take your hands in his and talk to you in a calm caring voice - telling you it is OK to feel like the way you and that everyone does feel like this once in a while - but the most important this is not let it cast you down: “You may think you only feel like this, young one - but we all do. . .Some are better at hiding than others and it is never good to hide it. We must accept that sometimes we need a little help. . .a little encouragement from the bad thoughts - and most importantly. . .you must never let these thoughts or words of others plague your heart, my dearest little nephew. . .”

Feanor is a little jealous and scowling at how his half-brother is having a moment with his son - expect your father to be in a sour mood and scowling at Fingolfin for a few moments before he turns to you and provides you the best of comfort - also severing the punishments for your bullying while your uncle shakes his head but offers your something in between a smile and a smirk.

Taglist form

tara's taglist: @wandererindreams @fizzyxcustard @ranhanabi777 @spidergirla5 @asianbutnotjapanese @floraroselaughter

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izicodes · 8 months

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Don't know if you've touched on this topic before, but do you have any advice on dealing with discrimination within comp sci (specifically sexism)? I have bad anxiety and have constant thoughts telling me how I'll never be good enough or don't belong. My brother who is a senior dev has had a passion for computers since a small child while I just developed an interest within the past two years. My family takes his career seriously but then turn around and tell me how great of a secretary I'll be lol. Thanks for your time!

Hiya 💗

Just some background on me: I haven't had any sexist experiences in during my whole journey of learning software development during my apprenticeship and now working as a Junior Web Dev. I'm the only girl in the Dev team (6 of us in total), the only other woman is the Manager of the Dev team but she does databases + business oriented work so she doesn't code at all. I'm the youngest in the team also so they see me as "oh let's teach the kid of the group" kind of thing. So at work I don't feel any type of sexism, the lads are really open to teach me a lot stuff which I am thankful!

I don't know any other irl developers besides work so I'll move on to online. Online I know a lot more women developers; Tumblr, YouTube, Instagram and Twitter (or X whatever it's called). Maybe it's because I've like cultured the content I see to them idk. I'm really glad to have that constantly on my timeline as it inspires me to push and do/become better because if those girlies can do it, so can I.

Though all the teachers/instructors I had were all men, they didn't make me feel small or not worthy to be in Computer Science, they were the opposite and pushed me to do it more. My Dad did Computer Science with CyberSecurity at university and he always pushed me to do computer science when I got older - not force but inspired me to do it (wanted to do medicine but too hard so switched to comp sci/programming)!

So, in my experience, I never had a really bad sexist interaction because I did computer science. People are shocked I am in programming in general but more like "Oooooh that's cool! Didn't know you did that!" kind of thing!

Now, this doesn't mean I haven't seen sexist remarks online, because I have but more through memes. I always ignore. Everyone, man or woman, should ignore such remarks/meme and move on. Don't let a bunch of people determine what you want and what's best for you! If you did, they would be controlling your life and not you yourself.

I don't know if that's easier said than done for you because I'm a hard person on people saying bad things to me. I just ignore you literally. I'm polite yes, but what you will say to me will go through one ear and out the other if it's really negative. Pretty much a "I don't care about your opinion, I will do me anyways" kind of person. E.g. if my brothers were to tell me "oh you a girl, don't do computer science" I won't listen to them at all.

And at the end of the day, what are they gonna do? Will your family members that are saying those stuff to you physically stop you from learning computer science? Especially since it's so accessible online so all you need a is a computer? All around the world, women are leaning computer science one way or another to change their lives and/or the lives around them.

They are making so much effort so for me to say "oh well.. you know some lads in my comp sci class say I can't do comp sci so I shouldn't" or "oh well I don't think learning programming is a woman's thing yknow because it's so dominated by men" - excuse my language here but that's flipping ridiculous!

This isn't some feminist or even anti-feminist thing here, it's a plain simple human thing: proving yourself and even the people around you wrong. Go into it and succeed. You're not too old or too young.

Why are their programs like SheCodes or BGIT (black girl in tech) that are making effort to help women push into tech? There's more women in tech now than there has been ever so if you're a woman and want to go into Tech but some lads are saying no? Do it anyways.

If a company has lads like that in them, that's the company's fault for hiring a sexist non-team player - says a lot about that company.

As humans we are never good enough so just get that out of your mind, less stress. Good enough for a job? all you got to do is keep going out it. Keep learning the theory, keep building the projects, keep redoing your resume and applying for jobs - keep going.

You quit, you let yourself down - especially when programming/ computer science is your calling!

I went on a bit of a rant but I hope some of this helps 🥳👍🏾💗

#my asks #codeblr #coding #progblr #programming #studying #studyblr #comp sci #tech #programmer #computer science

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sobeksewerrat · 6 months

Text

HYPERANALYZING/ SCREAMING ABOUT EP.3 COZ IT IS MY FAVOURITE AND I AM REWATCHING IT LET'S GOOOO

Disclaimer: this post is literally just me talking about how much I kin Milly and technically a combined liveblog

Oh look it's one of Taylor's bullies from BWBL!!

Also, what the music freak is this shitty pop song playing in the back ground man I'm-

Why is the school nurse running around like that-

Gotta love how everyone just rushes over to see Milly fight, and that Jake knows exactly who they're talking about (even though they've been friends for like 2 weeks). Really shows how much of a negative-ish reputation Milly has (relatable man)

Fuck Miss Jones man she sucks she can't even break off a fight who hired this bitch.

I really like the fight scene, Luke's animation is kinda wonky but I really miss seeing Kurie's animation!! I really miss the old GL episodes, they were just so much more well-written, and the amount of editing done by Rosy in them is really underrated like they seriously look so good considering how limited GL was.

God, seeing Milly fight for something Zoey stole is really fucking relatable. Like, my bullies always steal my books, my sketchbooks, my pencil case..etc. and I always get in trouble when I try to wrestle them for it. Like, I get yelled at and keep getting told "You're a girl you shouldn't be fighting with anybody!" and all they get for pushing me over the edge is a slap on the wrist, schools are really unfair (and then adults wonder why we don't talk to them about shit).

Dear Rosy Jake is so pathetic he literally gets thrown away by just a punch I'm-

Fuck you Luke

Zoey calling Milly an animal is um, weird, to say the least.

Um, side note, I really forgot how weird Henriam were in the first few episodes- like you could see the basis of their characters as we know them now being established but it's still so weird seeing them like this (also Henry is almost Liam's height in GL which makes me want to die)

Imma just skip over the Miss Jones scene I practically said everything I have to say but before that Drew was too much of a dick in this episode in an unlikeable way like THANK GOD he's barely in this one and seeing Lia flirting with Jake feels very wrong for some reason. Still love her GL outfit though <33

Wow Hailey I am so glad to know you care more about the competition than Milly <444/sarcasm

FUCKING HYPOCRITE- (jk I love GL era Hailey <44)

Seeing the club pressuring Milly to talk speaks to me on a weirdly personal level. Everyone wants me to talk about my feelings, but have you ever considered that I don't want to talk about them? That I am still not comfortable enough to let you in? To let you see that I am vulnerable? To actually confront the fact that I am not okay? I know the music club and the ppl ik irl genuinely mean well, but sometimes people aren't willing to talk, and you should respect that. Sometimes, just being there to keep us company and not judge us is enough, yk?

Side note: can really relate to Milly's reflex of hitting people when they get too close, I literally have to stop myself from punching my own mother whenever she grabs my arm or something I fucking hate being touched and I like the nice detail of Zander smiling when he found out who punched Jake.

Honestly, fuck Zander man. I joked about Hailey not caring about Milly's feelings, about Zander straight up doesn't care.

He is a straight up reminder of my one of my bullies and all the adults in my life. Fuck you Zander.

"Does the band mean nothing to you?"

DO MILLY'S FEELINGS MEAN NOTHING TO YOU ZANDER?!?

[Cries in this is super relatable]

"Great...she's on a rampage again"

Um...so, the girl being on the verge of a breakdown and being understandably angry at her bullies and her friends being extremely inconsiderate is considered being on a rampage? Damn, Sean, why do people even like you man.

So...you WANT to have control over her?? Idk man I am really mad at zander rn

"We can deal with whatever's bothering you, together!"

"Milly, I'm worried about you."

I already elaborated on this point but I just want to talk about how much I love Hailey in the first 4 episodes she was literally an awesome queen what happened to her 😭

God I love Redemption so fucking much it is literally the best song and musical scene in TMF /gen

Love the foreshadowing to Lia's redemption in the scene where they're bullying Milly btw, Rosy is awesome when it comes to subtlety (that is how you spell it right-?)

"🎵But you keep trying to get too close🎵"

Literally on the verge of tears this song (and whole episode tbh) hits way too close to home/gen (i feel like I have to keep clarifying how genuine I bcuz I don't think people realize how emotional this gacha series can make me)

"🎵Saved myself by turning into stone🎵"

[In tears] I swear people really underestimate how fucked up someone's psyche can be when they're all cheery and hyper. Media has made us believe that people who bottle up emotions are all cold and depressed but really the most cheerful people you knew tend to be the most depressed. The only other major examples from my fandoms that fit this category that I can think of are KEL from Omori and Kokichi form Dangan, but I feel like KEL fits this statement more that Ouma tbh

"🎵So save your judgement 'cause you just don't know🎵"

REAL. AND THE CAMERA PANNING TO ZANDER WAS JUST *chef's kiss* I SWEAR ROSY IS REALLY GOOD AT SHOWING EMOTION.

"🎵And they keep coming like moth to flame🎵"

People want a reaction. Adults keep telling you to just ignore the bullies and they'll go away, but they never will because they KNOW they're getting under your skin and they'll continue teasing you till you snap and they'll only stop when it's already too fucking late.

"🎵Redemption never came🎵"

This. This line is perfect and it is the perfect ending to the song. People are so quick to judge and tell you you need to change but they never stop to get to know the real you, they never stop to actually help you change, and you'll always be the villain in the end.

"Milly seems really important to these guys"

YA THINK?!?!

"I'm missing chunks of my hair because of her!"

Zoey please marry me 💖

"They must be talking about Milly..."

Yeah, no shit, Sherlock

"I can't believe she has a crush on that nerd!"

Me neither, Zoey, Milly is wayyyy above his league.

"You...blackmailed your friend for me?"

Also, being bullied for a crush is soo real. Like, I am aroace so I wasn't bullied for HAVING a crush, I was bullied for being a "pick me" because I just so happened to be close friends with a guy and they were all accusing us of dating (this is like a big deal here since dating is very frowned upon, especially for AFABs; so they KNEW they were gonna tank my reputation and ruin my life basically. I can't tell you the amount of teachers who would look at me weird when I talked to my guy friends)- anyways this barely has anything to do with Milly or tmf but this is my blog I do whatever

[EDIT: A WHOLE CHUNK OF THE RANT WAS DELETED?? I AM REWRITING IT NOW]

"Y'know, what? I think I might go see what Drew's up to, I've yet to tell him about how I saw you with your sugar daddy last weekend"

This was the moment I started hating Jake. I didn't like him before, but I started loathing him at that moment.

I have been cheated on before, and if my friends knew and didn't tell me I would have killed them.

"But drew wouldn't have believed him!" Well, he believed him in ep 10, didn't he? And Henriam would have been there to back him up anyways.

Another question I have regarding this is how on earth did he blackmail her?! Liek he didn't have a photo or anything.

AND WHY ISNT HE CONCERNED ABOUT ZOEY GOIGN OUT WITH AN ADULT!??!

"Aw, you two looked very cozy together"

His tone reminds me of my abuser and I don't like. It has nothing to do with the essay, but I wanted to point it out. It really got under my skin.

"Just...please don't tell Drew about what you saw"

Is ti just me or does she seem genuinely sad?? Like her conscience is tormenting her?? Idk man maybe I am just reading into this way too much but- [pulls out ancient tmf theories about Zoey being forced into this by sb and actually being in love with Drew]

"I can't believe those girls, snooping into people's diaries like that"

And you can believe Jake blackmailing Zoey?? I get you're still salty about Lia but cmon Hailey give the man some consequences

[INSERT DEAN SCENE HERE]

MR.BROOOOOOOOOOOM

GOD HER TONE IS JUST- LIKE, SHE'S UNCERTAIN ABOUT JAKE'S METHOD [PROBABLY] BUT SHE CANT BELIEVE SOMEBODY CARES ABOUT HER THAT MUCH OH MY- SOMEBODY GIVE HER A HUG PLEASE SHE NEEDS IT

I SWEAR IF I SEE SOMEBODY ELSE CALL HER CARDBOARD LIEK THE ANON DID I WILL KILL YHEM

"Um...well, when you put it like that-"

Jesus Christ this man doesn't even realize what he did.

That final interaction with Milly and Jake where they reflect on the whole thing is just- beautiful, awesome, fantastic. It's really sweet and I love seeing Milly finally being comfortable enough to talk about her feelings (even if she isn't being too specific or conveying all of her feelings)

Why does Elliot look like that.

Milly why do you like this guy.

Anyways, I love the sound effects Rosy used to add whenever people would blush, I miss it (iirc it isn't in any of the new ep)

GOD I MISSED HE INTRO/OUTRO SONG SO MUCH NOSTALGIA-

Anyways, I love this episode, this is peak TMF and it makes me angry to see how Milly was reduced to comic relief in the end.

I would write a proper conclusion but I am too fucking lazy

Bye freaks

#the music freaks #tmf #sobek rants #freakblr #rosyblr #freakblr/rosyblr #tmf milly #milly tmf #tw abuse mention #(<literally just one line but stil)

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inkblot22 · 2 months

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I agree!! aftermaths are ALWAYS my favourite to read during forced pregnancy stories and I actually hate when it ends with the yandere impregnating darling like how do u know if she truly got pregnant? where’s the horror in finding out you’re carrying your rapist’s child(ren)? how does reader deal with that? how does the yandere react to that? (I’m sure he knows but finding out the news from you yourself would surely elicit different emotions) how does he react when you say you wanna get rid of it? how do they both cope as parents? sooo many possibilities!! I’m glad to know the story I requested will not end with epel just impregnating darling!! thank you sm for that <3

also seeing as how both you and the other anon rank epel low I hope to see he be ranked higher in the future >:3

- epel felmier anon 🍎💜

ALL the freaking possibilities! The machinations of the yandere's mind when the baby-trapping (consensual or not) isn't received well is bound to be endlessly fascinating. Idk, stories work well sometimes if you let the reader imagine the hopelessness of a situation, but they work even better if you showcase it.

I'm putting the other stuff under a cut because I'm about to go on a bit of a tangent. Also, I have not read book seven yet, if anyone spoils it, I will temporarily block you until after I have read it.

I ranked Epel a C the first time because I didn't know anything about him at the time, almost every character save for the ones I really loved the designs for were lower than I would put them today, and frankly some were higher. I've done another tier list, this is not the old one. I have a pretty high opinion of most of the characters regardless of their ranking, here's the maker I used.

Okay, so, I feel the need to specifically explain Crewel: I don't like being treated like a dog. Pet play is not my thing, and I do not understand the hype surrounding him whatsoever. Why would I want to hang out with someone who probably smells like a really strong, expensive cologne and refuses to call me anything other than "good boy"? No thanks, y'all can have him. Crowley is self-explanatory.

Riddle, Silver, and Lucius all have their good qualities, I will admit. But I'm the type of person who would avoid both of the people for varying reasons (Riddle is annoying, I don't like being bothered when I'm minding my own fucking business because I'm "breaking the rules" and I don't want to wake up Silver and I don't know enough about him,) and I would get irrationally mad at Lucius for always getting into fights with Grim.

C tier is somewhat similar to D for me. I'd very likely not go out of my way to interact with these guys, but they're either more approachable or less irritating than D tier. I'm sure you can see a trend with at least two of them, but most of these mfs are too high energy or too intense. Sebek is here because while I don't like petplay, I do like degradation and I think he would be excellent at that, given his usual temperament and opinion on humans. Deuce is there because I find him to be a very one-note character. Everyone in this game is well-written, but not everyone can be interesting. Trein is here because I know I'd be constantly getting in trouble in his class for drawing instead of paying attention. By the way, when did people who were 50 become old? Idk I consider old to be like 70+ but maybe that's just because of the people I grew up around.

B tier is characters that I am aware I am sleeping on, with the bonus of Vargas, who I actually like quite a bit. Not enough to put him in higher than B tier, though. Ortho and Idia are sort of a package deal, but I do like Ortho less than I like Idia. Azul pisses me off but I am a sucker for a pathetic man.

EPEL!!! THE ONE WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!! Epel is like Deuce, if Deuce had more of a twisted view of himself. Reading though his little dilemma in book 5 didn't make me sympathize, but it did endear him to me. I can understand getting upset because you are literally unable to express yourself in a way that you would like because of reasons outside of your control. Beyond that, I love it when characters have a secret rough side (sorry Deuce.) Two-faced characters are my favorite thing.

A tier is characters I would like to put in S but I am too scared of them to do so. While C and lower are characters I would avoid because they're annoying, A tier is literally just characters I would avoid because they're freaky. I think people forget that the first interaction we have with Leona is him threatening to beat the shit out of us because we accidentally tripped on his tail. While Trey is sweet, he's the absolute definition of a two-faced character and he's way too observant to be comfortable around. Idk, maybe that makes him boyfriend material. I feel like anyone who has been on this blog at this point already understands my viewpoint of Jade, Floyd, and Rook. They scare the mess out of me and I love them for that.

With S tier, I'm actually going to specify a couple things: Sam is up there because I know I'd constantly be in his shop, buying things with thaumarks I should save just because I know his shop would smell like home. I feel like where a lot of people see Sam and think "this man can FUCK," I see Sam and think "big brother material." The sibling that I am closest to is literally just barely a year younger than Sam. Also, to clarify, I'm Black with family from the south. Grim is also sibling material. He's like a little brother, and I love him for that even though he pisses me off.

Now back to the WHORE KNEE. I very desperately want to bring my personal Vil series to this blog. I think maybe someone else would enjoy it, because what's more lovely than a man who sees what he wants in a person that isn't what he wants but forces to be what he wants anyway? I love that shit. Lilia is prime fodder for coercion fics, and I'd love to see more of those because he's very wise (because he's old as hell) and he's had a lot of practice at being a sweet talker. I think with a gullible reader?? Oh my god??? I'm not shy about my opinion on Malleus, Jamil, and Idia, and I think I talk about Idia a bit too much. Jamil stole my heart from the minute he was all sweet and kind in book 4 because he is so obviously two-faced that only the overly trusting would fall for that. Also, Jafar was something of an awakening for me. Who cares about Aladdin? I want the old man. As for Malleus, I like that he fills out the gap moe trope, but not overly so. He absolutely strikes me as the type to assume he knows best for both parties involved, and if he doesn't assume, he decides for you.

Anyway, knowing me, this list will have switched all over the place in a month's time. Thanks for reading my garbled nonsense.

#twisted wonderland #tw: dark content #tw: dark themes #tw: yandere #twst #the blot talks!#the blot gets personal???#the blot rants!#anon asks #anon answered #thank you for sending an ask!!#disney twst #yandere #this is really long #i'm so sorry

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