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hotwings0203 · 5 months

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Needed to get possessive alpha bakugo off my chest, ill prolly write a sequel to this tmrw cuz i got some ideas

Tw: noncon, omegaverse

thinking about childhood possessive bakugo who's pined for his omega since she joined the pack Time after time again since you were kids he'd always tried to get close to you, using a number of strange to threatening courting techniques. It was benign at first when you both were young, with him jumping up the large apple tree to get you the juiciest fruit you could never seem to reach, but when you two grew older and played together with the rest of the pack, his efforts seemed more...possessive.

He'd always single you out and force you to be on his team, following up with growling at you whenever you'd run more than a few paces in front of away from him. His sleek gold and black coat would brush up against you constantly, as if only touching you would satiate his desire for your proximity. Bloodred eyes would glare at you when you'd shyly back away at dinnertime, opting to sit away from his intense gaze.

Not like he'd let you get that far.

When it would come time for bathing with your sisters, somehow, everytime you'd be out of the loop and would end up being forced to wash yourself on your own in the cold water.

Little did you know your sisters were not-so-kindly encouraged to not communicate their congregation to you by a certain fiery alpha.

And so when everyone was by the fire, barking out laughter and telling stories of their weekly hunt, you'd sulk to the riverside by yourself, clutching your towel over your shivering body as youd sink closer in the shallow water.

You wanted to get it done as fast as possible so you could join your pack in merry-making, haphazardly scraping dirt off your paws and washing the crevices between your ears.

But as soon as you take a step towards the lush bank, you hear a heavy splash behind you.

You whip around, ears drawn back immeditaley after seeing the alpha who shamelessly follows you around like he's already claimed you.

"W-whatre you doing here? Everyone's by the..fire..." you trail off unsurely as his spiked-up wet mane shakes in laughter. His lack of concern for the reprimands he'll undoubtedly recieve for being this physically close to you send faint warning alarms at the back of your head. Usually he glowers at you and turns tail, but this is new.

"I thought the pack leaders told you to leave me alone," your lip wobbles as your tone borders on fear and indignation. Your brothers had always kept you safe from him, snarling and hiding you behind their tall legs whenever he was around. Bakugo never seemed to give up though, his own flashing teeth and sick grin mirroring their own worry pulled back from their lips.

"Yeah? But you're here though."

You swallow hard and hope he doesn't hear your whimper as you splash backwards towards the bank, but his low grumble of pleasure upon smelling your sweet fear-omones says otherwise. It proves to him that you're not as immune as your other brothers swear you are to protect yourself against him, theyre actually worried for a reason.

They know you'd never stand a chance against him.

And his muscles do ripple amid the water as he steadily stalks towards you, leering as he licks his canines and trains his eyes on your feeble form.

It seems like as fast as you flail backwards towards unseen safety, he advances twice as fast, and within seconds your back hits a hard and scratchy surface.

Bakugo chuckles a humorless laugh as you've nestled yourself in a nice, private corner away from the mainland where everyone can see you. You've backed both of you into an enormous concaved treetrunk, one that circles around 10ft and only one opening...

which you've trapped yourself in.

The roots of various plants that have grown inside this hollowed out trunk provide little cushion as you whimper and try to desperatley climb the walls.

"When are you gonna give up?"

His voice is low, raspy with mixed want and bitterness.

"S-stop, stay away from me or I'll call for h-"

"When are you gonna realize you can't escape me?" He harshly whispers right at your ear as he lunges toward you, causing you to squeal with terror.

He nips your soft ear and inhales your neck, craning his own to get a good look at the sensitive unclaimed part of your neck.

His hands grip your sides and mold the squishy parts as though they were dough, his greediness increasing exponentially as he lowers his drooling mouth to your ear and laves his wet tongue over the planes of your neck and shoulder.

You begin to shake and sob, never having been dealt with him actually touching you and being a victim to his lust. You've taken the protection of your brothers for granted, and oh how you wish you could softly howl out if you had the courage to ask for help.

But the blonde's presence itself is enough of a threat to your life and safety, that much being made clear as his hands grow claws, no doubt his physical appearance shifting from being so riled up. Your skin prick and cuts as his nails jab harder into you, his hands roaming up and down your back, feeling your hips and ghosting over the swell of your ass as well as chest.

You writhe against him which unbeknownst to you, pushes your naked chest out against his own shredded pecs, your pebbled nipples grazing his toned skin and practically making his eyes roll back in efforts not to pin you down and take you like his bitch.

"I just wanted to wash," your voice comes out pleading, and meek. You have no idea how he'll react to you being aggressive and defensive against his assault even if you had the courage to speak out against him.

"And I want to claim you as my omega," he growls directly in your ear, causing you to whine again and cower your head beneath his hounding mouth. "But I guess we'll both have to wait for what we want, huh?"

He knows you know.

You have to know.

Have to have known how badly he wants you, wants to hear your voice ring high with laughter like you do teasing your sisters, wants to hear your playful growls as you wrestle with your brothers who let you win just to see you swish your tail with prowess. He wants to feel you rest your head on his chest, wants to see you look up at him with security and ease, knowing that he's there to protect and love you.

But how can he explain that, with years of nothing but threatening looks and yards of distance between you two?

If it brings you familiarity and perhaps ease of seeing him as you've always thought to have known him, as a brute with nothing on his mind apart from taking you like an animal and conquering you, then he'll save the monologuing for later.

"After all," he heaves in the darkness of the seclusion, voicing his thoughts, "your birthday's coming up, right? You'll be of age to be claimed."

He thrusts his knee in between your trembling legs, pushing your shoulders down while following with his head and never letting his mouth rise above your unclaimed mark. You gasp as he begins grinding his knee in circles against your hooded clit, bouncing you lightly to evoke whatever sweet noises he can from your pursed lips.

You choke and sputter, suddenly grasping around his neck for leverage as you try to pull yourself up, but you're no match for him as it only serves to prove his point and enrage him from your constant rejection.

You can lie to him all you want, but your body never will.

"And trust me, little girl, when that cunt ripens for me to take, when that neck fucking sings for me to lay my mark-"

Your voice cracks into a howl as he takes one of his hands and squeezes the fat of your tit while the other spanks your jiggling ass on his knee, feeling whiplash from the onslaught of sensations.

"-I can promise you, there's no running. There's no cowering behind your brother's legs like some fucking baby, there's no using your sisters as an excuse to turn your face away from me."

Bakugo presses you tight against the wall, smothering you chest-to-chest with him and using the confined space to rut his naked erection against your thigh, his hips snapping forward and chasing years of needed release in your presence.

"I'll tie you down on my bed, face down ass-up and breed you as my bitch. I'll take you bent over and wrapped around me against every surface and floor of our secluded cave."

You blubber as you can feel yourself coming to a high, the water splashing obnoxiously at your humping against each other. In an effort to keep your pride, you try as hard as you can to grit your teeth and delay your orgasm, but he seems to catch on pretty quick.

"And then," he drops your tit and uses both hands to pry your asscheeks apart, impaling you impossibly closer down on the hard bone of his knee, your clit grating deliciously as his leg vibrates and flexes from moving you back and forth, up and down, any direction he can get your teeth to latch onto your lip and pussy clench on nothing.

"Then, you won't have to hide that pretty voice anymore. I'll get those years of silence back in exchange for your screams for help."

At this, he hugs you flush against the wall and himself as you shake from your orgasm, the water rippling at your reaction.

"So if I were you, I'd be grateful for any solitude from now on. Because you won't be getting it anymore."

#mha #bnha #tw: noncon #bnha yandere #mha yandere #yandere bakugo #yandere #bakugo #mha bakugo #bnha bakugo #yandere katsuki #yandere katsuki bakugo #tw omegaverse #omegaverse #alpha bakugou #alpha katsuki

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ur-boyfiend · 3 months

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panic attacks and cuddles

corvid? posting?? unheard of. anyways self-indulgent comfort fic bc i can. prolly gonna do a chronic illness / disability one soonish, if anyone has something they'd like to see more content for feel free to send an ask and i'll write it if i'm comfortable !! if you have any specifics you wanna see feel free to add those as well, it really does help me ^^;

cw/tw; panic attack (no shit but y'know), spiraling, depression, negative self-talk, depressive episode

seasonal depression is nothing new, in fact it's something you're far more used to than you'd like to be. while some loved winter, for you it was the time of year where any regular depression was compounded by the gloom of late dawns and early sunsets and the inability to enjoy going outside.

the difference this time is that you have a boyfriend, and you wish that you could be happy, wish that you could be grateful, but wrapped tightly in a blanket as you watch the grey sky outside the window across your room, you can feel the creeping sensation of a panic attack starting to crawl across your skin. in some part of your brain you can hear your phone buzzing, but the buzzing melds into the feelings of panic, and you curl further into yourself.

the sun is setting, almost set, blanketing your room in darkness. you know that turning on your lights would help, would make this whole thing less suffocating, but it's so much easier to just resign yourself. getting up to turn on the light takes effort, but simply spiraling further takes nothing at all.

your phone is buzzing again, another thing you know you should pay attention to, but you just can't drag yourself out of your own head long enough to do anything about it. it feels like the world is collapsing onto you, and for a moment you wish it would.

you lift your head slightly, the world is in black and white, and it feels like all your senses are muffled by cotton wool. you drop your forehead back onto your knees, the energy it takes to keep it raised somehow more than you have in you.

you're not sure how long it's been, after the sun has set there's nothing left to indicate the time. you're trying to find the strength to get out of bed, to do anything, even just to look up.

from your blanket cocoon, you can see something light beyond your eyelids. for a second you think you're seeing things, maybe you pressed on your eyes by accident, but you don't actually feel any pressure on your eyes.

not sure what's happening, you lift your head slightly, almost immediately being met with the sight of your boyfriend standing near the door to your room. he's not looking at you, he's looking at your room, and you realize that he hasn't actually seen it before. you're suddenly very aware of the piles of stuffed toys scattered around, the posters on the walls, the makeup and jewelry strewn across the top of your dresser, the mess on your desk, the clothes piled in the corner. it feels as if every flaw in your personality is somehow scrawled across the room in glaring red letters.

and yet, when he notices you looking at him, changbin turns and smiles at you. in that moment, you feel like you might cry. as you feel yourself choking up, his eyes soften with concern. placing the bag he's holding on the floor, he carefully sits down next to you on your bed.

"hey, what's wrong?" you feel him pull you into his side, "talk to me bubs."

instead of talking, you feel tears start running down your face, changbin wiping them away as fast as they fall. he leaves feather-light kisses across your nose and cheeks.

you say it without thinking, "i love you," and once you've said it once it's like a floodgate has opened, you're repeating it so quickly that it becomes an incoherent babble, changbin peppering kisses across your face the whole time.

it takes time for you to calm down, more than you'd like, not keen on being seen in this state. but changbin sits and rubs your back as you try to pull yourself back into some kind of human form, a silent support.

it's only when you've stopped crying, are a more solid person than you'd been, he says it back.

"i love you too, now let's eat, yeah?"

you hum slightly, leaning further into his side, "nap with me?"

changbin sighs and flops onto his side, pulling you down with him, pulling up the blankets to cover you both. you quickly snuggle into him, grateful for the extra warmth.

"get some rest," you feel him place a kiss on your forehead, "i love you."

"i love you too," you mumble, already half-asleep.

#boyfiend writes #stray kids #skz #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #stray kids fluff #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #changbin fluff #seo changbin #changbin x reader #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #skz fluff

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mshroom1e · 1 year

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ೃ⁀➷ Crushing on You

type: headcanons

twst characters with a crush on the reader

1.3k words

Characters: Azul, Sebek, Kalim, Rook, Deuce

╰┈➤ Azul

He would be absolutely whipped and wouldn't even realise until he sees you, stops, and thinks 'oh wait.'

Jade would be the first to notice Azul's change in behaviour.

He's the type to get so into his feelings that it affects his performance at school even though he doesn't intend for it to.

He'd probably fall off his broom in PE class when he sees you walking around nearby.

I'm all for shy Azul and that's what he would be (because I said so)

He'd try so hard to make everything about himself presentable when you're around.

Since he collects so much information about people, he tries to find out everything about you through the info he's acquired instead of talking to you and asking like a regular person.

Prolly tried to rope you into some sort of contract where you had to work in the lounge so he'd have a solid excuse to spend time with you.

Someone please tell him about normal communication.

Once he's had time to understand his own feelings, he tries his best to get closer to you.

Invites to try new menu items at Mostro Lounge would become more frequent.

Overall, he'd be very genuine with his feelings once he's come to terms with them.

I don't think he'd mind if you didn't reciprocate the exact feelings he felt towards you, but that doesn't mean he isn't hoping you feel the same way.

Sometimes, his insecurities from the past would bubble up in his mind, telling him that you think negatively of him, but he tries his best not to think like that.

╰┈➤ Sebek

Sebek 💀

I-

First of all, he wouldn't even think that he had feelings for you at all. Especially since you're such a simple-minded, pathetic HUMAN

Interprets his sped up heart rate when you're around as some sort of illness and decides to ask Lilia about it.

He describes his "symotoms" and the older fae knows exactly what he's talking about as soon as Sebek mentions your name, so peepaw stifles a laugh the whole time as Sebek is lamenting about his newfound "heart malfunction"

When Lilia tells him it's a crush, Sebek is mortified.

His already little control of his inside voice goes out the window as he yells "PERPOSTEROUS" or something similar.

He's panicking, screaming, kicking, all of the above.

"Woe is me!!" is all he thinks for the rest of the day until he goes to bed lol

The whole thing would look like a comedy sketch from an outsider's point of view

Poor kid would be so obvious, and your entire friend group would know before you do.

Sebek would be horrified when he sees you anywhere and instantly turn the other direction then curse himself for being afraid of a mere human.

Kinda like a little kid with a crush

He'd make some mean comments that come out as compliments without meaning to and everything would turn into a one-sided fight where Sebek loses.

Considers his feelings for you as some tratourus act towards Malleus.

He would refuse to tell you about how he feels.

You'd end up realising it yourself after someone hints at it.

It would be a mess, but a very funny and cute one.

╰┈➤ Kalim

the literal sun

Kalim would be the most genuine person ever.

He'd see his feelings as friendship, and not think too much of it after that. He thinks you're one of the most amazing people he's ever met.

He's very big on giving gifts and sometimes it might be a bit much.

The gifts he gives aren't with the intention of showing off, though. They're simply things you've mentioned that you liked or were interested in, and Kalim just had to get them to show you how much you were appreciated.

Once you express that the gifts you've been receiving from him are a bit much, he instantly understands. After that, he gives you things with more sentimental meanings behind them like handmade bracelets. They're not the best-looking at the moment, but they're from the heart, and that'd what counts.

After he's made you a bracelet or two, he finds that he really likes making them. With practice, he gets a lot better and gifts you more intricate looking little trinkets.

With Kalim around, you can never be on an empty stomach. He always has snacks on him that he pulls out of nowhere on a regular basis. All of them are delicious but his favourite ones to give you are crackers.

He doesn't get flustered when talking to you, just very happy and enthusiastic.

You get along so well, whether as friends or something more.

When he realises he has a crush on you, he gets so excited.

Expect to receive regular invites to the parties he hosts at his dorm and for him to hang out with you a lot more.

After all, he really likes you and wants to get to know you even better.

╰┈➤ Rook

To be honest, I feel like Rook wouldn't be too different from how he usually acts around people.

He still knows everything about you from your dominant hand to the thing you ate for breakfast that day.

He'd show up around you more than usual, offering you flowers and other small gifts that remind him of you.

You wouldn't think it was anything out of the ordinary since it was Rook after all.

Always does small gestures that make your life easier, like removing objects that would obstruct your path before you get near them or even realise what he's done, or tying your shoelaces for you when they come undone.

He spends a lot of time observing you, but not in a creepy way. It's just because He just finds you endearing and wants to see you just being your beautiful self.

Smiles at you a lot

You could be walking down a hallway and realise you left something at your dorm, but Rook would just happen to be nearby with the item you need.

When he found out about your favourite sweets, he bought a packet and carries them around with him so he can give them to you when he sees you.

He loves the way your eyes light up when you see the sweets in his hand and you take them with a huge smile on your face.

Rook would be a very sweet and well-prepared admirer that wouldn't hesitate to offer you help or just simple reassurance when you need it.

Like Azul, he wouldn't mind if you didn't feel the same way that he does and is just happy that he gets to admire you and see you happy.

╰┈➤ Deuce

Deuce you sweet summer child.

He would be so clumsy over everything and it would be the cutest thing ever.

Most likely practices what he's gonna say to you in the mirror every morning, which annoys his roommates a lot.

Messes up with his words when he talks to you and instantly flushes.

He tries to take the lead during assignments to seem smarter and impress you but fails miserably.

Please, he's really trying his best.

He can't control how stiff his face gets when talking to you and how flustered he gets.

His ears definitely go red first.

Accidentally ends up raising his voice out of nervousness when he's talking and physically cannot make eye contact with you or he'd explode.

He tries to do gentlemanly things like helping you carry large piles of books. It's not because he thinks you can't carry them yourself, he just wants an excuse to spend more time with you.

If your favourite dessert was available in the cafeteria and there was only one left, he wouldn't hesitate to buy it and hand it over to you.

He gives you cute chick themed gifts and sends you cute animal memes.

If you showed up at one of his track meets, best believe he's speeding off like sonic and blowing away everyone else at practice.

When he wins a race, he instantly turns to look for you in the stands and instantly smiles at you when he sees you.

Deuce would be so shy and sweet and it would be so cute jekrjrktktn

◁--《

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pastadoughie · 4 days

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ihope rthis doesnt come off as annoying, but my birthday iz in 5 dayz (may 1, i turn 17) so i am giving u a heads up so if any of u wanna endure the torment that is drawing my complicated ass fursona you have the time my kittysona ref is in my pinned but i wil put soem stuff 4 my fursona under cut

i am working on a ref! it just isnt finished, and probably wont be in tiome sorry,,, but his pants are black and his coat/sleeve things are like, a leather,

it uzed to be a mainpart of his design and then i removed it and now im adding it back LOL

arm patch with the 510777 iz white and the ribbons (Xs) are prolly gonna be red or some shit i did post a gif of my vtiuber, but its pretty flashy, so ill just give you the screenshot here (though u could prolly find it under the "rowens serious art" tag)

(the halo rotates)

i generally put glitchy text n stuff on him like here ^ its just standard mspaint text in shades of purple and red copy pasted and overlayed, very simple to do

one thing i think ppl r a lil confused abt is the hair, but its honestly really low effort LOL, its brown with blocks of color in various shades, to do the glitch effect on mspaint i use the square tool

you set it to no outline

and fill : natural pencil

and make sure you set color 2 to the color that you want it to be in (you have to add the color to the pallate thru edit colors in order to change the 2 color)

and there u go! looks the best if you vary the shapes and sizes of the rectangles alot

u dont have 2 draw every single details (not even i do consistantly), if u get the colors right its generally good

i generally simplify him like this also i should probably clarify, he haxs the same patterning as my kittysona, just hueshifted a bit so the gray is purple insted of a beige. so, fur splotch to the -> side. heart splotch on boytummy, sockies on the arms and legs (goes up to around the upper forearm for the arms, and is the height of thigh highs on the legs, and he have a stripey tail)

#the beast speaks #screaming and scampering

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homunculusrex · 10 months

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HOW TO FUCKING TORRENT

I just saw somebody link a GOOGLE DRIVE FULL OF TOKUSATSU. And I just wanted to say that is literally the worst possible fucking way you could get access to these shows. Toei does not fuck around and your google drives are NOT protected. This is not directly related to Toku, but I once saw somebody get SUED for having a google drive full of Moomin shows. Sued and still paying fines. This was years ago.

So I’m teaching you people how to Torrent with some help of my GF. Torrenting is easy, it requires very little, and you’ll be super happy you did. I’m doing this with the implication that you are looking to watch Tokusatsu shows but IDC what the hell you’re downloading, just keep yourself safe.

FIRST THINGS FIRST

GET A VPN. If you don’t already have one. I don’t fucking care what VPN you're using as long as it covers your computer.

GET A TORRENT DOWNLOADER. Get anything but fuckin UTorrent its full of adware. QBITTORRENT is your best bet, also its free.

FIND A TORRENT SITE. They're fucking everywhere. If you're looking for Toku everyone uploads to NYAA . SI (DO NOT LINK THIS SITE DIRECTLY PLEASE FFS)

GET SOME ADDITIONAL HARD DRIVE SPACE. This is optional but if you're gonna do this a lot get some extra space. My Gf torrents a lot so she needs a lot of hard drive storage.

THATS ALL YOU NEED NOW YOU CAN TORRENT.

1. TURN YOUR VPN ON.

2. GO TO YOUR FAVORED TORRENT SITE.

3. FIND WHAT YOU WANT TO DOWNLOAD. Preferably one with a large amount of Seeders. Seeders are people helping you download faster. No seeders means that it’s gonna take a long ass time.

4. NOW DOWNLOAD IT. If you're using Nya, just click the little magnet next to the link. Make sure its in the language and media you want, not every database does this but SOME do.

If your browser doesnt open your torrent program immediately you can just download the torrent file itself, Torrent files basically act as a key to tell your torrent program where and what to look for when downloading! Once your torrent program picks up the source, you can then tell it where you want to put the download!

5. WAIT FOR IT TO FINISH DOING ITS THING. Use this time to reflect on how swag you are for torrenting.

6. EXIT THE CLIENT. Make sure you exit instead of just closing the window, because it could still be running and turning your VPN off while seeding is ill advised.

7. CLOSE THE VPN.

CONGRADULATIONS WE JUST TAUGHT YOU HOW TO TORRENT.

You can learn how to seed too! Because sometimes, older torrents get LOST because there's no seeders! Everything is peer to peer, so if you want a file to stay up, it needs seeders! Its always courteous to seed what you leech!

Now. Go. Enjoy your shows without downloading it from a google drive thattle prolly get the host sued.

EDIT. Heres a directory for more info on piracy, torrenting, adblocking, and literally anything you might need info on.

https://fmhy.pages.dev/

#help #tokusatsu #kamen rider #sentai

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ohshy · 3 months

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Feelin kinda down so fuck it- how about some burnt bread hcs if you got any?

If not, how about disco kid?

~ fan-mans

hope u feel better soon bro ! also HELL YEAH BURNT BREAD !!!!!!!! one of my favorites :3

so where does it all begin? well.... (under the cut bc its Long)

aran didnt actually have to use any of dirty tricks to take joe down, so they didn't start off on that bad of a foot, or a bad foot at all. (fighting is par for the course for this sport, of course.)

that being said though, you still see n hear things ab eachother, and have assumptions as a result. Aran initally sees joe as a snobby, wimpy man, and joe aran as a scary, unpredictable brute.

eventually, however, aran starts looking at joe... a little differently. he pranks him a lot because yknow. its funny. but joe doesnt seem to mind it at all... in fact, he takes his pranks really well, and it makes aran see strong joe is in a way and how much of a sense of humor he has.

joe at the other hand, noticed that aran, outside the ring, was actually fairly tame, outside of his pranks of course. it helped a lot with mellowing his perception of him. combine this joe's many hobbies and aran's try-everything attitude, and youve got the start of a click !

news of their little budding relationship spreads around the minor- and world circuit, and kaiser begins to take notice ab how joe talks ab aran, how hed normally b horrified at the prospect of him being anywhere NEAR him.

so one day, in all his eternal german grace, he says...

''well if you love him so much, why don't you two kiss, hm?''

and joe hadnt gotten that thought out of his head since.

as for disco kid hcs, ive already told most of them so ill talk ab how the minor circuit reacted to joe wanting to confess to aran instead !!

disco, albeit kinda scared of aran, is ecstatic for joe, wishes him luck and wants to know EVERYTHING about how it went afterward

i imagine hippo would be pretty whatever about it. guy isnt too concerned ab peoples love lifes. wishes him luck like disco tho.

meanwhile kaiser? ''Eh, it is your funeral''

I imagine the world circuit wouldn't be as close with eachother seeing as how theyre busier n likely more hounded by journalists, but they do know in broad terms what goes on in the lives of eachother.

so macho catches wind of aran's crush, and he basically shittalks joe to arans face

''I know everyone's standards are too high for you, but joe's just a sad bar, even for you.''

Aran, not even reacting to the dig against him, starts ranting to macho about how joe is admirable as all hell for getting back up after 99 losses, and how that must mean he has a real love and respect for the sport. He even boldly exclaims that joe arguably works harder than macho, the victories who seems to come so easily to him.

macho eventually leaves, deciding aran's not worth his precious time.

aran then turns around, and OMG HE SEES JOE STANDING THERE !!!!!

anyway he heard all about what aran said (thats right, overhearing ooc conversations and miscommunication happening is OUT, overhearing conversations and gaining respect for someone is IN), and confesses right there and then. aran, hearing prolly the most romantic speech thats ever been directed to him in his entire life, is at a loss for words. He can't say anything other than ''of course, joey.''

and thats the start of their relationship :3

as for other misc hcs that dont fit anywhere else...

one time, when cleaning out aran's jacket pockets (joe's a bit of a neat freak), he found... a bunch of lint. But also !! he found a ton of crumpled up notes. They included phrases for the ring, comedic poems... but they also had affirmations for himself, about his family, but also about joe. joe, sans the lint, left the pockets as is. ever since then though, he's felt closer to him than ever.

joe will often try to pick up aran like a princess. considering hes still decently muscled, he can do it succesfully.

joe loves baking, especially bread, but aran will ALWAYS manage to set something on fire. think spencer from icarly.

they infodump to eachother ab their respective countries histories and folk tales, joe esp ab the former n aran ab the latter.

one time, joe and aran set out for a night walk. then, they (or rather aran) thought he heard a banshee screech. what they actually heard prolly was a car tire screeching in the distance. aran, however, was never the less scared SHITLESS and ran tf home, screaming highpitched. He had to be comforted by joe all night after they got home.

aran loves going to theme parks. he loves the rush. joe, however, hates the tall rides like the rollercoasters, n prefers the calmer rides like the teacups. They have a ''goes onto the rollercoaster alone'' x ''holds the persons stuff while theyre gone'' dynamic.

they rly like singing duets together, especially after a couple drinks. wine in joe's case and beer in arans case. theyve sang at macho's parties before as well, and needless to say they make for great entertainment.

aran often sends joe cursed memes n selfies that joe just Does Not understand

''aran, i will Not hold feet with you, zat's disgusting''

''come on joey..... do ye love me or not......''

#aran ryan #glass joe #burnt bread #punch out wii #punch out #hope u enjoy charlie !!!! had a lot of fun working on these #these two make my heart warm :3 #headcanons #monkey brain typing #asks #glass joe x aran ryan #aran ryan x glass joe

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fixatedonfandom · 2 years

Text

Mask Off

[I have a tf2 prompt I wanted to write but I don't have enough of them to make a prompt compilation so I figured I'd just write it here and hope everything goes well. I did the absolute most on the French so pls fix it if it's wrong]

BTW I HAVE SURGICALLY GRAFTED HUMAN EMOTIONS INTO EACH OF THE MERCS IN MY FICS SO THAT'S WHY THEY'RE 'like that' (normal). I have grafted double the amount of emotions into Spy as a treat.

Synop: Scout is sick. Really sick. 'If we can't get this fever under control it's the hospital or the morgue' sick, and Respawn can't help him this time. They'd already tried that. He's gotten so delirious he's fighting Medic every second he's awake, not really lucid enough to remember so much as his own name, much less that of any of the team. Medic is ready to put him under full sedation and try and work things out from there, but Spy has an idea.

~~~

"Hold his arms! Now!" Medic snapped, not knowing nor caring who listened. Demoman had been hovering near the bed, and latched onto Scout's wrists to pin him down before the thrashing began.

Scout was feverish, slurring out something incomprehensible, almost as angry as he was frightened, and was pushing up against Demoman’s hands with every ounce of fight he possessed. His eyes were open, but he wasn’t seeing, and nothing the Medic said or did could bring them around to focus.

”What’s now, doc?” Demoman barked. As Scout bucked against him, Demo laid down right on top of him, using his chest to keep Scout on the mattress.

Medic did not speak; he grabbed one of Scout’s arms and held it fast against the bed, then slapped the strap of a soft restraint around his wrist and yanked it tight. Demo fumbled for the one on the other side and did the same, and moved to Scout’s legs to keep him still. All the while, Scout was yelling out nonsense, interspersed with things that sounded like pleas.

“Jus-no, ge-get off! Get off me! Leave, no, please-”

”You’re a’right, lad! You’re a’right, it’s Demo!” said Demo, with heaving breaths. “Demo? Scout, lad-”

“Ge-get- fuck- let-let me go!” Scout gasped in turn. His thrashing rattled the bed, only then being kept in place by the wheel locks, and he was straining his arms against the restraints hard enough to leave a bruise.

Medic was frazzled, composed as he may have looked. He’d almost made the decision to lunge for a syringe of sedative when Scout began to calm, by nothing but him exhausting himself, until his head lolled to the side and all that remained of the fit was mumbling and an occasional spasm.

Demo backed away from the bed, swiping a large hand down his face and clearing the accumulation of sweat from the rim of his eyepatch. “Tha’s a worse one. Didn’t say nothin’ compr’ensible.”

“Least he kept his hands to himself,” the Engineer cut in. He’d been sitting by Scout’s bedside in a creaky metal chair, and had one hand thumbing through a book of known ailments, and the other nursing a cold-compress- one of the few Medic could spare, given the circumstances -to a blossoming bruise on his jawbone.

When push came to shove, as it often did, Scout had a mean left-hook. He was so scrawny-looking that it was easy to forget.

“Not tha’ we gave ‘im much choice,” Demoman sighed. “I feel for th’lad. Cannae imagine wha’ he’s seein’. Wee lad’s prolly thinkin’ he’s fightin’ off ghoulies ‘n ‘his own personal hell.”

“That will be all, Demoman,” Medic sighed over him and ran his fingers, ungloved, through his hair. His black hair was dull, limp, and greasy-looking, and as unkempt as the man who wore it. Both had gone at least two days without a proper wash.

“Aye,” acquiesced Demoman, and picked up another ailments book to flip through with Engineer. Medic would have been doing the same if not for Scout needing spontaneous care. The Engineer and Demoman had offered to help him, overwhelmed as he was with keeping Scout’s fever down through the past two days and trying to find the source of the illness, and stayed in the infirmary with Medic.

Each RED team mercenary displayed his concern for Scout’s wellbeing in his own way.

Heavy had been one of Medic's assistants for the first day, but stepped away when the look of Scout in the throes of fever became too much for him. Too many memories, and none of them good. He spent his time researching for the doctor, much like Engineer and Demo. He'd also made a sandvich for when Scout wakes with an appetite, just in case.

Engineer and Demo needed to be useful, and stepped up on the first day to help. Engineer had no head for medicine and a piss-poor bedside manner, but he could read and research better than most anyone. He turned up to the lab, grabbed an armful of medical textbooks, dropped himself down in the chair besides Scout's bed, and remained there for two days straight. Demoman could comfort- he was a touchy-feely guy, and he was strong. When Scout first awoke two days into the fever and started fighting, Demo appointed himself to Scout's bedside to catch him when he flailed.

Soldier wasn't much for medicine work, and he hated the infirmary, but he became the one that everyone relied on for routine since theirs was so disrupted. He enforced breakfast and dinner like a drill sergeant, bringing food when Medic couldn't leave. In the absence of anyone else to talk to, he'd managed to clean the base spotless too.

Pyro drew pictures, and sent them in like clockwork. Doodles of the team, filled with colors, smiling scenery, and a healthy, happy Scout in the middle of each one. He didn't come by to visit. Knowing what Scout was acting like, he knew he might be too scary for him.

Sniper did what he did best- he kept his distance. Once or twice he came around to visit, but saw how overwhelmed everyone one was stayed out of the way. Somehow, though, the coffee pot in the kitchen never emptied, no matter how many cups were taken out of it, and the dishes were cleaned despite no one sticking around the kitchen long enough to do them.

Spy was different. To the outside eye his concern, if any, hadn’t manifested at all. He still smoked his cigarettes as though he had only a day left to live, and still holed himself up in invisible corners around the compound, only appearing when least desired. If RED were not a team, one could think him heartless and detached.

They were, however, a team, and even the least observant among them had seen the signs of stress he carried. Spy’s aura was tense, and he carried himself with more urgency, when he was ever seen. If he was not in his smoking room, he was in the infirmary, watching, an unlit cigarette bitten between his teeth to satisfy the fixation but not disturb Scout’s breathing with smog. In the times between Scout’s waking bouts, he would step aside with Medic and ask questions regarding Scout’s health in hushed tones, like hiding his fears from prying ears.

It was then, when Scout had settled into fitful sleep again, that Spy melted out of the shadow of the infirmary wall to approach Medic from behind, with his usual inquiries.

“Finally utilizing those restraints, I see,” Spy remarked, equally delicate and ironic. “How is the boy today?”

“Worse. Only getting worse,” replied Medic in a rough tone. He’d turned to his shelves of medicines and concoctions, shifting through the bottles and making them clink together. “Verdammt, where is it?”

Spy came around him and looked over Medic’s shoulder. “What are you looking for, my friend?”

“Fever reducer. I tried to give him one earlier.” Medic picked a bottle, read the German label, and set it behind him on his desk. “He spat it out.”

“Not surprised.”

“It was too weak, anyway,” Medic said. He paused in his rummaging to glance back at Spy, perhaps to see if he was listening. “I was a trauma surgeon. I have not treated sickness in many, many years.”

Spy’s cigarette had turned into soggy, unpleasant paper mache in his mouth, and the tobacco leaves had fallen out onto his tongue in bitter mush. He put the old cigarette in the bin near Medic’s desk, then pulled himself another.

“I hope you have some idea of what this illness could be, yes?” Spy ventured as he put the cig between his teeth. Medic sighed and did not meet his eyes, just shaking his head and whispering something. “Then how do you possibly plan to treat him?”

"I...I don't know. Verdammt, I do not know!" Medic admitted like he was spitting out a tooth. He clutched the sides of the cabinet doors, and the wood creaked under his hands. "He will not take fluids, he will not eat. If I cannot get him to calm down I will have to sedate him until he's not at the immediate risk of death. That alone poses its risks, but I would rather those than...this."

Spy glanced over his shoulder to trail his eyes down Scout's body, quivering and sweat-soaked, as he fitted in his sleep. "What kind of risks?" he asked.

Medic collected his thoughts and sighed again, a forceful huff through his nose, then replied, "Delirium. Worse than this. If his breathing continues to get worse he will have to be ventilated, which doubles the risks of prolonged sedation. Depending on how he processes the sedatives it could take him several days, maybe weeks, to recover. This is all assuming that I can fix him while he's unconscious, without having to resort to more intrusive methods."

Spy shifted his stance, his hands itching for the lighter in his coat pocket. He resisted it, naturally, but the urge was biting at the tips of his fingers.

"How would you suppose we get him to calm down, hm?" Spy asked.

"He does not recognize anyone or anything. If I could bring his fever down enough for him to regain some lucidity, that would help," Medic said. "As it stands, unless we can present him with something familiar, he will refuse to cooperate. Something his mind will recognize intrinsically, as confused as he is. He believes we are the enemy."

Spy hummed as his response, pretending to be distracted, and hesitated to consider the idea that had begun to brew in his head. "His mother, perhaps?"

Medic shook his head. "Nein. Not realistic. Even if we could get her to the state in a timely manner, by the time she’s gotten through the company's bureaucratic hoops to set foot on base, he might not be lucid enough for it to make any sort of difference. If I allow him to get to that point I may not be able to restore him."

“And if he does get to that point?”

Medic hesitated. He was given no chance to respond.

"Doc! Lad's comin' round."

They both turned. Demo was leaning over Scout's bed, hands primed to grab Scout's arms should he start thrashing again, and Scout was rousing slowly, turning his head, furrowing his face as he came to a no-doubt painful consciousness.

“We have tried Respawn, and he came out just as sick as before. Respawn cannot save him,” Medic whispered to him, then turned once more to his shelves with his back to his patient.

“No…no, l-let me…s-stop,” Scout moaned out, already pressing up against his restraints and Demoman’s grip.

“Lad- lad, c’mon, stop- stop it!” Demo hissed back, straining to keep Scout on the bed while taking care not to frighten him with shouting. Demo tensed, with gritted teeth, as Scout started to cry.

“Pleas…please, please…l-let m’go… get- let me go!”

“No no no- aye, lad, c’mon. C’mon it’s me. It’s me, it’s Demo, lad.” Demoman leaned in close to Scout’s face. Scout reeled away as far as his head could press into the mattress, chest and shoulders still wracked with suppressed sobs. Even unconscious, Scout couldn’t let anyone see him cry.

“P-P-Papa,” Scout hiccuped. It could’ve almost been any other word, as slurred and warbled as it sounded, but to Spy’s ears it came as clear as the ringing of a church bell.

Spy’s thoughts left through his lips before he stopped to consider them properly.

"Everyone barring the doctor, please step outside," Spy announced. He approached Scout's bed, shooing Demo aside. "Now, would be ideal."

Demo stayed put with stubbornness and clear hesitation, and Engineer looked up to him confused. Medic fixed Spy with a curious look, but said nothing against him.

"Er, doc-"

"You heard the man." Medic was fixing another cold compress, distracted. "It seems Herr Spy will be taking over, Herr Demoman. Everyone, out!"

Scout winced, whimpering on the bed. Demo stepped back slowly and released Scout, though keeping his hand extended, but Spy shooed him again and he made for the door with the Engineer. Neither looked convinced they should leave, but did regardless, and Spy and Medic were the only lucid ones left in the infirmary.

"I should hope you have reason for disposing of my assistants-" began Medic, then cut off by Spy.

"I would prefer this be observed by as few as possible, doctor," said Spy. He slid off his leather gloves and set them on the metal side-table. "Should this even work."

At that moment Scout's eyes opened, glassy and damp, to the ceiling. Spy put his bare hand on Scout's forehead, expecting the flinch that came.

"No, no! Get...g-get off'me! J-Just-!"

In a single, fluid swipe, Spy tugged his mask off of his head, and brought his face into Scout's line of sight before the struggling could begin. His salt-and-pepper hair was tousled and untidy, though obviously well-groomed, and his olive-toned jaw had a deep shadow indicating days of neglect. He startled Medic badly enough that Medic fumbled with the medicine cup and sent it splattering across the tile, but neither paid it much notice.

"Sois calme, mon lapin," Spy whispered in the most delicate voice he could use. "Sois calme."

Scout froze taut, staring wide-eyed at nothing but the ceiling tiles. Medic watched him, wrapping his prepared compress in a thick towel, and waited.

"P..." Scout murmured, unfocused. His eyes scanned the lines of Spy's face, sluggish, and a dull recognition lit up behind them. "Papa?"

Relief sent Spy slumping over the bed, closer to Scout, and he ran his hand through Scout’s sweat-damp, greasy brown hair. "Oui. I am here, Jeremy. I am here."

Scout said nothing, but his left hand tugged up against his restraints. He seemed surprised when his hand wouldn't move.

"Wh-wh’s…” Spy saw the panic building, and rubbed Scout’s scalp again.

“You are very sick, mon trésor,” Spy explained in simple words. His unoccupied hand made quick work of the soft restraints, and they fell from Scout’s arms to dangle off the sides of the bed. “You are with the doctor. He will take care of you.”

“Oh…” Scout whispered. Scout’s eyes trailed around the room, slow and stuttery, until they found Medic, still standing frozen by his desk. Like melting ice, clarity emerged through Scout’s bleariness, and it manifested in a single word as Scout whispered, “M...Med…?”

It snapped Medic out of the trance he’d fallen into, and he scrambled to put together another cup of medicine and bring it over with his wrapped cold-compress. For a moment he and Spy locked eyes, and Spy recalled that Medic hadn’t seen his face in the years since his initial physical. Politely, Medic didn’t stare.

“Herr Scout,” Medic uttered, allowing Scout to get his bearings before lifting Scout’s hand and having him hold the small cup. “Drink this.”

“Wh-”

“Fever reducer,” said Medic before Scout attempted to stumble through a question. Distractedly, he placed the compress alongside Spy's gloves on the table, appearing to forget about it. “I will bring you something to ease your sleep, if you will take it this time. And water. You may also need…” Medic trailed off and wandered to his shelves again, muttering under his breath all of the things he could have Scout take while he was conscious.

Spy moved his hand to support Scout’s and helped him guide it to his lips. “Drink this, lapin. You will feel better.”

He could see the hesitance screwing up on Scout’s face, and trusted Scout’s reflexes were too sluggish to resist when he poured it into Scout’s mouth.

“Swallow, Jeremy. Swallow, s’il te plaît.” Spy put his hand over Scout’s mouth when Scout tried to spit it out, foul though it may have been. He kept his hand until he felt Scout swallow. "Ah, Très bien, mon chou.”

“Has he spit it out again?” Medic returned with a glass of water in one hand.

“Non, he’s swallowed it.” Spy swept the sweat from Scout’s forehead. “Water, please?”

“He’s swallowed it?” Medic’s voice held a relief so palpable it was almost suspended in the air. He passed the glass into Spy’s hand. “Truly?”

“Yes.” Spy let silence fall between them and guided the water into Scout’s limp hand, then tilted his head back for him to drink. He took to the water much more readily than the medicine. Once it touched his lips he began to swallow like a man on the verge of death, and Spy had to pull the glass away twice so he wouldn’t choke. “Pace yourself, mon chou.”

“I have not been able to get him to drink anything in days. I would allow him some desperation,” Medic said. He’d removed his glasses, rubbing out the smudges on the edge of his vest. “I do not know how long you’ll wish to stay, but if I may-”

“I’ll stay until the boy can take a drink on his own,” Spy spoke over him, though only giving Medic half of his attention. “Perhaps after, if more problems arise.”

Scout blinked slowly, like a barn owl, and each blink after that was heavier than the last. It didn’t take long for Scout’s eyes to fall shut and for his breathing, though still labored, to come in even strokes. Spy let his hand rest upon the boy’s cheek, and a long-dead warmth that Spy had not experienced in decades washed over him like a baptism.

“This time, mon lapin,” whispered Spy, stroked Scout’s cheekbone, and pulled his hand away.

“Hm?” That was Medic, somewhere by his desk.

“This time,” Spy repeated. “I would like to stay for him.”

~~~

Also I did not edit this so...lol

tanks for reading :)

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quirkle2 · 30 days

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THAT GORE IS SOOOO GOOD!! PEAK WRITING IF YOU ASK ME TBH (i love feral zombie mobu, he has my heart) will you be publishing your zombie au oneshots on ao3 or just here on tumblr?

also one last question (or not. >:D), how was zombie mob's dynamic/relationship with tome tho? i assume in this au that they didn't know each other before mob got turned? did they form some sort of relationship in a way that he eventually start to recognize her? or did mob stayed seeing her only as a stranger :o

- 🪻 (i think i'm just gonna go by this emoji from now :3)

WAHHHH TY SM,,,

ill prolly just stuck to tumblr for the one shots! i usually like to stick to longer stuff for ao3, so tumblr it is

and yes, mob Does grow to recognize tome as a friend instead of a stranger! it's a bit of a weird dynamic at first, bc when tome meets ritsu, the boys r separated. ritsu is adamant that zombie mob isnt violent, but tome begs to differ...

when tome led mob away from ritsu so she could get him back to the settlement, she ended up tying him to a random utility pole w rope from ritsu's bag she totally rifled through. in any other circumstance she'd prolly just let the patrol guards kill him, but mob is the one that got her attention and Led her to a sick ritsu, and she finds that they're traveling together.. (their labeled water bottles in ritsu's bag is the biggest sign; saliva can infect u so ritsu has to be careful abt not drinking after mob) this zombie is Behaving Strangely and tome is too curious abt this wack ass setup they've got goin to just,, let this zombie die or wander off. the only method she has of keeping him in one place is to tie him somewhere :/

zombie mob doesnt seem to rly care at first, he's just worried abt ritsu, but then when tome doesnt come back for a bit ??? the next morning when she returns (with food and water for him !) he is vicious toward her. he cant do anything tied up like he is, but he's constantly snapping his teeth at her, hissing and spitting and snarling, and trying to wiggle free

all that mob knows if that he tried to get help from this girl, ritsu is gone now, and he's tied to a pole. that pisses him off and all his addled brain can rly process is that ritsu is In Danger somewhere he cant get to. and in tome's perspective, this strange kid she saved has been traveling with a fucking demon, but somehow isnt infected.they checked. he's miraculously not

when ritsu is well enough to hold a convo, tome tells him she has his zombie friend safe somewhere, bc even in his delirium ritsu was mumbling abt his brother (tome voice ah! they're brothers... inchresting i see the resemblance if i remove the horrid eyebags from mob's face). ritsu says mob is an extremely docile zombie by default. tome says he's literally one of the most vicious ones she's ever seen. neither of them believe each other and ritsu is convinced she has the wrong zombie and that mob is still out there somewhere, wandering the settlement grounds just Asking for a patrol to kill him

when ritsu is better, she sneaks him outta the settlement to see his brother. as soon as tome comes around the corner of mob's sad little Utility Pole home he gets riled up and starts snarling, but when another figure follows behind her, he Instantly settles. he sees ritsu's face, still a bit pale but otherwise alive, and every alarm bell in mob's head is cleared and he relaxes like a switch in him was flipped

ritsu saw that viciousness for a split second tho, and is Shocked by it. nevertheless ritsu is so relieved he's okay, so he basically rushes at mob and envelopes him in a Hug and tome watches this, kinda stunned. the way his brother instantly settles in the hold ?? maybe ritsu Was right, in his eyes... maybe being around ritsu just calms mob down, so ritsu's only seen his tame side

tome joins the gang after that (her joining might seem strange, given she hasnt much of a motive, but trust me, for tome, getting to study this enigma of a dynamic is basically her dream. also she has a backstory that motivates her more but im not getting into that now). and it's very odd how mob seems to,,, be largely ok w her now ?

she thought it'd be difficult, given his obvious hatred of her after their first meeting, but it seems that her eventually bringing back ritsu erased most of the distrust there. he's typically pretty cool w her around; the only times he gets testy is when she shoves ritsu around when they're bullying each other. after all this time of walking w a gentle ritsu alone, mob doesnt rly know the difference between fun roughhousing and actually hurting each other, so he typically growls at her lowly until she stops

later on in the journey, he shows genuine trust in tome, particularly after moments where she saves him or ritsu from getting shot. and way later on, when tome is in trouble, mob even attacks another zombie to keep them away from her

eventually he sees her as part of the gang, and tome sees him as less of a Vicious Monster and more of what he actually is; somebody's brother that is sick, and is one of the only zombies in existence that is actually being taken care of and accommodated for

#qktalks #anon #zombie au #for a while tome thinks ritsu is just fucking crazy #and . yaknow she's not Wrong #but after a while of traveling w him... she sees how much ritsu loves mob. and she starts to Get it #ritsu is so patient and gentle w him.he gets frustrated obviously everybody does but #most of the time he's just as nice as he's always been to mob. and he doesnt treat him any lesser #it's So different than Anything tome has ever seen. she's used to people killing zombies ruthlessly #and that's not due to a lack of ruthlessness on ritsu's part. tome is Very sure of that #ritsu is very much capable of displaying extreme violence. he just saves his wild moments for the uninfected #sorry i rambled a bit here. also ty for the ask i had a bit of a shitty day and this brightened it a lil :]

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boxwinebaddie · 6 months

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Concept: Jersey!Kyle on Black Friday

THE SOUND THAT JUST CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH

no...because that is the jersey kyle super bowl...

thats litrally the scary broke boy college student mf Olympics babey!

also its fucking horrifying oh my god literally every year after bebe parks lady in the mall parking lot, marj child locks tweek and kyles side door, turns around with her hand on her hip, finger wagging all like NOW SEE HERE BOYS!!!!! I DONT WANT NO FUNNY BUSINESS YA HEAR? TWEEK NO BITIN!!! KYLE NO FIGHTIN!!!! SHLKDSHS

and theyre both like "ofc!" <3 *angel emoji*...then the second marj is not looking, kyle uses his long lanky ass extendo arm to unchild lock the door and him and tweek are like SIIIIKE! NO PROMISES! riiiip

he is a menace in there like rm!kyle is fine as hell but so scary if he looked at me and i had something in my hands i would drop it immediately and fall to my knees hfdlksahd! anyways!

hes definitely hoarding all the pumpkin chai fall scented shit, hip checking 15 year old girls taking too long in bath and body works, fighting karen soccer moms over blenders and shower curtains, straight up dislocating arms, rolling up his sleeve, glitter and tinsel all over his face like "do come back!!! its buy one get one FREE, bitch!!!" scarring entire families with little kids in them screaming GUESS WHAT SANTA ISNT REAL!!!! snatching candy right out of their hands

like kyle was kyley b jew jersey kyle u can take the boy out of new jersey but you cant take the new jersey out of the boy!!! hes threatened to crack people over the head with LAMPS in the display section of the department store, duel wielding frying pans like

ID STAY BACK IF I WERE YOU A-HOLE BUT IF YOU INSIST FOR THE LOW PRICE OF ZERO DOLLARS AND ZERO CENTS I WILL BUST YA FUCKEN HEAD OPEN LIKE A PINATA AND THE DENT IT MAKES IN MY NICE NEW PAN WILL MAKE IT 50% OFF AT THE REGISTA!!!!

if there wasnt security devices all over the knives...it would b over

100% jersey!kyle gets dragged out of that mall, kicking, screaming, hissing, fucking biting, clawing, you name it shdlksahd shouting wHAT THE HELL DID I EVEN DO!!! I DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING!!! like baby why is half of the store crying and the other half ON FIRE?

mall security takes his mug shot for the Banned list and his hair is all over the place, theres gift wrap in his hair, probably blood on his cheek, his lip is busted, hes flipping off the camera & rolling his eyes

icon moment <3 im love him

um...as a bonus...conversely...ravenstan would throw up if he were at a department store black friday blow out sale im fuckin crying omg.

like ik he is a celebrity but he would have a panic attack like he enjoys the mosh pit where u are supposed to run into other people, i just know that entire thirty minutes that anxious punk rock angel would just be like ah! excuse me, excuse, oh god, im so sorry, excuse me, ill get out of your way, omg!! sorry!! sorry, wow im so sorry, excuse me!!!

SKHDLKDSHDSL bless him honestly

hed be like not even working there and translating directions so some sweet old mexican lady can find the electronics department for her grandkid's airpods and then buying them for her, giving little kids boosts and piggy back rides so they can reach the toy they were trying to grab off the top shelf and raven telling them to take two <3, literally just trying to be helpful and put stuff that people ( jersey prolly ) knocked off the shelves back onto them but accidentally knocking the entire display over heeeeeelp ( i love u raven my son )

all while jersey is just like ripping peoples hair out, playing irl tetris trying to fit the entire store into the cart, being batshit fkn insane.

ok tldr; the rm line up for black friday isssss...

kyle and tweek being feral and crazy and IN!FUCKING!SANE causing a maaaaassive commotion

kenny and craig robbing the entire place blind ( fuck u big corpo ) while everyone is distracted

( its the way kyle doesnt condone stealing but condones fucking threatening to MURDER people over a single britta filter )

bebe and jimmy putting the whole thing on tiktok and insta reels living and breathing for the drama, jimmy makin literal meme content and bebe like trying to get kenny and craig to steal makeup omg

and marj and ravenstan on damage control, completely mortified...

not all heroes wear capes.

-uncle nina, black friday survivor

#this made me laaaaaugh #no jersey is so scary on black friday like hes already so scary hes extra scary on black friday tho holy shit #like he is BANNED from the mall #his mug shot is def so iconic i kno he looks good omg #i do think raven just being there would cause a commotion #but only if he was in the fit bc hes so cringe boyfail out of celebrity cosplay that i swear ppl would not know #that little mexican lady was all abt him tho she totally pinched his cheeks and everything he was glowing #jerseykyle hissing and swearing at everyone and ravenstan dragging him out of there like sorrysorrysorryeveryone!!! is soooo real to me #super best boyfriend behavior what can i say

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