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madlittlecriminal · 2 months

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[04] Secret Ingredient⥓ Mafia!Miguel O'Hara × Female!Baker!Reader

Warnings: Danny is an oc, mention of death in the family (not reader or miguel related), mention of pregnancy (not reader), annoying customers, two cliffhangers in one (im sorry), patrick o'hara (web-slinger)

series masterlist | miguel o'hara masterlist

Another day, another employee seeming to irritate him to the core. Miguel didn't understand what was so hard for this guy to understand that no meant no, but seeing him beg Miguel for a day off when his PTO ran out was comical to say the least.

"For the last time, Danny, you used up your PTO. I cannot give you the day off simply because you don't want to work. If you were at work more often instead of doing whatever you want to do, then maybe you'd have the day off." He says while leaning back in his chair.

"But you don't understand! I need the day off, Mr. O'Hara! Please!"

"Give me a valid reason why and I'll think about it." It was bullshit. The only way Danny was going to get out of this is if his fiancée was giving birth or if he had a death in the family. For any other reason, Danny was going back to work and Miguel didn't care if Danny was going to throw a fit.

He was honestly surprised that Danny and his fiancée were still together considering he hardly works and they live together.

"Well...you see..." Danny started, but he couldn't come up with a valid excuse other than not wanting to work.

Miguel waited for him, his leg folded to where his ankle rested on his knee and his hands folded on top of his abdomen. He tilted to the side as he listened to Danny stutter.

"Danny, I'm a patient man. However, your stutter isn't natural. You're nervous because you can't come up with a lie right now and that's fine. However, don't expect me to listen to you if you can't come up with a lie. Get back to work."

Danny grumbled before leaving Miguel's office, slamming the door behind him.

"Slamming doors como si paga por algo-" he paused and shuddered. "Oh God, I sound like my mother." (like of you pay for something-) Miguel shook his head and fixed his blazer before going to type on his computer before his phone rang. A small smile formed on his lips when he saw your name pop up on the screen, but he didn't answer it until the third ring.

"I thought you gave me a fake number there for a second." You let out a sigh, making Miguel let out a shy chuckle, fidgeting with his pen as he tried to tell himself to relax from how hard his heart was thumping in his chest with nerves.

"Nope. Right number." He says, leaning back into his chair again as he heard you put the phone down.

"Good! Okay, I had a weird question to ask you." You say, everything around you sounding much louder which he automatically connected it to you putting the phone on speaker.

"Ask away." He reaches over and grabs his glass of water with a trembling hand from his nerves.

"Why did you need to know about interior designers and such?"

Miguel smirks, thanking whoever that it was a phone call and not in person communication or a video call. "That's for me to know and for you to find out."

"Of course it is."

He heard you huff out a breath and he couldn't help but bite his bottom lip to hold back a laugh.

There had to be flaws somewhere in you...right? I mean, he only saw perfection-

'No. Stop it, Miguel. Not yet. Don't fall just yet.'

"Well, I'll let you go. I have a cake to work on."

Before he could get a word in, you hung up.

Miguel put his phone down and let out a chuckle. He rests his elbow on the arm rest of his desk chair, his chin resting on his palm as he let his mind wander a bit.

Where did his mind wander to exactly?

To you.

He wondered if your hands were rough or surprisingly soft. He wondered where you learned to bake. Was it taught to you by a parent or guardian? Did you learn from recipe books? YouTube videos? I mean, he had to thank someone for your talent. Shit, he wouldn't be surprised if you were self taught.

He shook his head before a soft knock was heard from his office door. He looked up and immediately regretted it when he saw the look of shock and anxiousness on Lyla's face.

"They're here for the meeting, Mr. O'Hara."

He got up and buttoned his blazer before following Lyla out of his office and into the conference room. He knew Lyla well enough that when she said his last name, it wasn't Alchemax business.

-----

You raise a brow at the man in front of you who was asking for a gender reveal cake.

"Sorry, can you repeat that?"

"I want a gender reveal cake, but instead of the usual pink and blue and you do black?"

You blink at him.

"Black and...?"

"Just black."

"Do you want the frosting black?"

"No. I want the cake to be black."

"Sir, that's not how a gender reveal cake works. If you want, I can do black and whi-"

"No, I want black."

"What's the gender?"

"Boy."

"Okay. So you want everything to be black?"

He nods.

"What flavor?"

"Vanilla."

You stood there for a bit, screaming internally as you head to the back to take out a vanilla cake you just made. You quickly made black frosting with food coloring before decorating the cake. When you triple checked that it was perfect, you showed it to the customer.

"You made sure it was blue on the inside, right?"

You wanted to throw it at the customer.

"Sir, you told me you didn't want to do pink or blue, you wanted black."

"Yeah. The frosting."

You clenched your teeth before forcing a smile.

"Anything else?"

"Yeah, I need it within the next two hours or so."

"Come again?"

He gave you a nod before stepping out of the bakery.

"Customers piss me off sometimes." You murmur.

"Do they? I'm sorry to hear that."

Your eyes widen before they meet a familiar pair of brown eyes.

"Hey darlin'. Hope I'm not interrupting anythin' important." Patrick says softly, giving his charming country boy smile that made you relax.

~~~~

tags:

@deputy-videogamer @barbiecrocs @deepinballs @faimmm @wakeupr41 @bubblegumfanfictions @smartyren @kimmis-stuff @latenightcravingz @youcantseem3 @corpsebridenightamare @thedevax @cicithemess @diannana @itsameclinicaldepresssion @hwasoup @migueloharasbbm @vkumi

#miguel o'hara #miguel ohara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara x y/n #marvel #mcu #marvel universe #x reader #spiderman 2099

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ornii · 1 year

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When it gets Dark Outside

Must be fun being a Super Hero, right?

Spider Gwen X Male Reader. (Y/n) has been flaking on his Girlfriend for a while now, and unfortunately it all comes to a head.

So. Let’s do this, one last time

My name is (Y/n) Riley, turns out my birth was your normal Mom and Dad stork story, I was created in a lab by a man named the Jackal, using the DNA of a guy named Peter Parker, unfortunately my dna wasn’t purely his and was mixed up somehow, letting me not look exactly like him. And for the last two years I’ve been New Yorks Spider-Man after Peter decided to retire and live comfortably with his Girlfriend, and I gladly took on the mantle of The Scarlet Spider-Man.

You know the rest, saved the day, got the girl and have been doing pretty decent hero work if I could say so myself. One of the biggest helps in that was my girlfriend, Gwen. She doesn’t know about my powers, I’m too worried what she might say, but it’s getting too much to hide, and I’m worried it’ll blow up in my face. Well, I guess it’s too late for that now.

It was ranging to be an average New York night for most. Bustling city, beautiful lights, and your run of the mill Supervillain trying to rob a bank, shocker.

Speaking of Shocking, The Scarlet Spider-Man swings though the city until he lands on a light pole, as police quickly surround a large bank embedded into central street.

“Long day?” He asks to the Police chief, George Stacy, who frowns at the web head.

“Focus, we got Shocker in the main Lobby, zapping anyone and anything that gets even a few feet near the parking lot, we’ve cut off the block to avoid casualties and civilians.” George said, Spider-Man nods and points to the bank.

“I’ll take out shocker, it’s up to you guys to finish clearing the block in case something happens.” He swings away and lands on the wall, crawling in though a window he sneaks onto the roof, the bank is, well was before it got blown to bits, a nice regal place. Marble floors, beautiful pillars and all, Spider-Man stood up and smirked. Standing below him was shocker, ready to fight anyone coming into the door.

“Got a hot date shocker?” He says, Shocker turns without hesitation and blasts his electric bolts, Spider-Man leaps out of the way and onto a pillar.

“Oh Cmon man? You’re breaking my heart.”

“Grrr! Step off Spider before I fry you!”

“Yeah, Like im Gonna let that happen, so why don’t you do your old man a favor and just surrender?” He asks, Shocker responds by attacking again, Spider-Man leaps over him and fired his web shooters, beginning to slowly web up the shocker, avoiding a blast but getting knocked into a pillar, he sees shocker wind up for a big blast, using his slingers he hurls a table at him, letting the attack hit that and causing a substantial sound wave, knocking the glass out of the doors, Spider-Man lands from the attack and prepares to fight, before seeing an incoming call on his mask. Gwen.

“Uh, Hello?” He asks, inside his dormitory, Gwen was sitting there, waiting for him.

“(Y/n)? Where are you? I thought you were ready to study?”

“Uh Yeah! I Just had small detour?” He says, avoiding a death blast, he webs shocker by the ankle, making him trip.

“Look I promise I’ll be there, just wait a little longer.”

“.. you aren’t doing anything dangerous are you?”

“No, you know me.” He says back, trying to convince the girl, who was silent for a moment.

“…Yeah.” Gwen responds with a bit of deadpanned sadness. She hangs up and Spider-Man turns to shocker.

“Alright, can we wrap this up I have something super important to—“ he says, before another incoming call appears.

“Again? What she’s—“ his distracted headspace was the perfect opportunity for Shocker, who hits him with a heavy blast to the chest, sending him flying out of the building in slow motion in front of the police, time slows down and he quickly fires his webs against the wall, using the momentum like a slingshot, he flies back though the building door with a big drop kick, sending Shocker into the wall stumbling, he changes his cartridges and fires his classic impact webs! The hit and explode on contract with Shocker, webbing him perfectly. He grabs and spins him around before hurling the villain right out into police custody. He sighs with relief and collapses down to one leg.

“Well.. that sucked, alright.” He stands up, taking a few deep breaths, before swinging out of the bank and back to his dormitory, bring a Highschool student on a boarding school in New York wasn’t the worst thing, granted he had no roommate so keeping his identity was much easier without his parents walking in on him. Granted it still was a hassle with school, but he made it work, he stumbled into the room via the window, tumbling in as he held his side, he tore off his mask to sigh in pain.

“Okay, just gotta get to—“ he looks up, and his eyes ran straight into Gwen’s, she looks rightfully stunned as he stands up, holding his side.

“I..can explain.” He says, and Gwen starts to get, obviously frustrated.

“Is this what you’ve been doing?”

“… Yeahhhh..” (Y/n) sadly admits, and Gwen was at a loss for words.

“I thought you were working at a homeless shelter or something, you’re Spider-Man? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to! I just never really knew how you’d react.” He responds, her anger grows.

“So you lied? All this time?”

“Yeah, for a good reason Gwen! If I had told you and they found out who I was, I don’t know what would happen if something happened to you because of me.. I’d never forgive myself.” He admits, and her anger slowly began to subside.

“What do you mean?” She asks, and he sits down on his bed.

“If someone found out that I’m Spider-Man, they’d go for the people I love the most… and that’s, you.” He says in a halfway confession.

“..Love?” She asks and he nods, Gwen approached and sat next to him, her hand gently laying on his.

“I totally understand why you’d feel that way, I see you fight for you life protecting everyone, my dad included, even though he hates your guts. I was mad But, i Understand why..” she admits, and she smiles so, earnestly and the way she always smiles just, warms his heart.

“Thanks Babe, you don’t know how much it means to me to get this off my chest.” He says, Gwen slowly leans in, and (Y/n) does as well, taking the opportunity to try to kiss her, suddenly a hole in the ceiling begins to form seemingly out of some scientific tech, and a white figure landed. She Checks a device on her wrist.

“Rats, might not be the right universe to—“ she halts as she slowly turns to her side, and sees (Y/n) and Gwen staring at her, which was more of a surprise since Gwen was staring at another version of herself

Spider-Gwen. Normal gwen turns to (Y/n).

“So.. Something else you didn’t tell me about?”

#spider gwen #gwen stacy #spider gwen x Male Reader #gwen x Male Reader #spiderman #male reader #Reader x gwen Stacy #into the spider verse #Spotify

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venuscrashed · 11 months

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Hello, hope you're having a good day/night

I was wondering if I could request Superior Spiderman x Tall Male Reader

Reader is smart and very sarcastic, he likes to push Superior in a good way, like "I know you can do better" kinda thing and always teasing him.

Maybe reader's attitude and antics lead to some spicy smut

I tried

You two met right after Peter and Doc Oc switched body’s. He was confused to say the less. Even more confused when he found out about the spider verse.

When he saw you he was like damn. You were tall, like TALL tall. Also attractive but like damn what did your parents feed you.

“Are you going to be a hero or still some creep?”

Okay now he’s confused. He doesn’t know if he likes you or if he’s ready to fight you. Still he’s putting up with you

“You’re great at this hero job you know.” How does he tell you he’s….not Peter.

He doesn’t. “Is your plan to let the villains win?”

”No. Im going to go after them.”

”Which day?”

Considering he’s new to this whole Spider-Man stuff you had to help.

He knew how to fight it’s just his morals were different.

He swung around still getting use to having to do everything by hand. He so had to work on this suit when he gets back home. This body felt different, stronger, better. It was like he gained every power in the universe. He knew how Spider-Man was but this was surreal.

Every now and then he would fall and make a mistake, causing you to have to help him. “Get up Spider man. I know you can do it.”

The blush on his face was thankfully hidden under his mask. He slowly got up and shot webs towards the villain. His speed increased and his movements more precise. Each step looked intentional and his moves calculated. He swung from building to building, attacking the villain. “I knew you can do it!” You two met on top of a building, you towered over him. The villain was still moving in the background while you moved up to Otto. “You know if you use the webs to create a cage the job would be easier.”

Otto stared down at his web slinger, Peter had done that before but never on him. Otto stared at the Gillian before jumping towards him. You stood back, chuckling to yourself, you knew he didn’t know how to properly use the webslinger. You jumped after him preparing your slinger to help.

Otto was swinging around the villain creating the base. It was messy but it was there. He was struggling while the villain was attacking him. You came up and swung at the highest speed you could. Your webs formed a cage around the villain trapping them in a confined space. The villain bashed around, their arms flying everywhere and their screams growing louder.

“I think you can become a hero.”

“Really.”

You just stared at him, smirking. He stared at you, the spider eyes going wide. “Maybe some time. You’ll get there I know you will.” The portal opened to your universe and you walked over towards it.

“Will I ever see you again?”

“One day.”

He won’t stop thinking about you. He goes off and becomes more like Spider-Man.

He goes after any villain he sees. Leaving no crime in the streets.

It didn’t occur to him that he wasn’t being a hero until Green Goblin. That was the moment he realized that he’s not the hero you wanted.

Peter screamed in the back of his mind to let him go.

Otto couldn’t take it anymore, Peter was back.

When Peter trickled the spider verse and saw you be fell in love as well.

”Look who’s back. If I didn't know better I would think your obsessed with me.”

“Well-“

“I’m joking. Nice to have you back Spider-Man.”

He try’s to train with you, trying to show off and become the best Spider-Man.

”You don’t have to impress me to have me like you.”

He can’t take this anymore. He’s to flustered by you.

#x male reader #x male y/n #x ftm reader #spider verse x reader #spiderverse x reader #spider verse x male reader #superior spider man #superior spider man x male reader #headcannons #headcanon #venuscrashed

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dawn-path · 1 year

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#polls on tumblr #polls #man. i dunno how to tag for visibility LMAO #aha... u wouldnt wanna give me a.... [coughs] [hacks] r-reblog for...#sample... [gasps for air] .... size.. . . .. .#self post

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faeriecap · 2 years

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no bc i was looking up AC easter eggs and apparently one of the imagineers dads was a mechanical engineer and he died really suddenly in 2019 and they used a bunch of his actual work supplies as props throughout the web slingers ride IM LITERALLY SOBBING

#help im not ok!!!!!!#i speak #avengers campus #disneyland #walt disney imagineering #marvel #mcu #web slingers #spiderman

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kamisathoes · 2 years

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PLEASE im in love with all of your works but for cow!reader?????

imagine them getting spitroasted by xiao and scara- they’re so fucking mean as they play and slap around their tits. AND IM SORRY BONUS IF THERE ARE PEOPLE WATCHING LIKE MAYBE SOME OTHER FATUI (pyro slingers😮‍💨🤤)

i literally love what ur doing so much i literally scream when u post !!!💜💕

εϊз … pairings xiao + sub ! f ! reader + scaramouche εϊз … notes grrrr this gave me butterflies... where do i get this i'm so sorry this took ages i lost it in my drafts εϊз … warnings cow hybrid ! reader. threesome. ownership. lactation. nipple play. impact play. improper use of an electro vision. degradation. name calling. dubcon. voyeurism. bukakke. throat fucking. breeding. squirting. marking. dumbification. unedited.

scaramouche inviting xiao to fatui headquarters because he needs help on a mission or something and using his cow pet to gain the trust of the adepti <3 he encouraged xiao to let loose, even being so kind as to let him bury his cock in your sloppy cunt as scaramouche takes your mouth.

they'll have you bent over scara's desk, laying on your back so they could abuse your milky tits. xiao kept one hand on your stomach, another pinching your hardened nipples as creamy juice flowed out of you. scara could feel your ears twitch against his skin as he rutted into your face, fucking your tight throat with ease. he took care of your other breast, marking the flesh with harsh slaps and a few trickles of electro energy.

each of them spat the meanest of things, calling you dumb, a cocksleeve, their breeding bitch. cows were only good for their milk. you felt too fuzzy to notice, instead focused on the cocks buried in either end. your cunt squeezed around xiao as he brought his hand to your swollen clit, harshly rubbing at the twitchy bud. your moans vibrated around scaramouche, pushing him to the edge.

if any of scaramouche's underlings dared interrupt this meeting, they would be welcomed to join. not in the sense that they could touch you, that was reserved for a special few. instead the skirmishers would be encouraged to fuck their fists to the sight of your pretty body being defiled. if they were lucky and the man was in a giving mood, they'd be allowed to cum on you, covering your perfect skin in the sticky seed of multiple men.

the harbinger gave you no warning before releasing strings of cum into your needy mouth, continuing to fuck his seed deeper into you. any that spilled from your mouth was only forced back in by his rough fingers. on your other end, xiao remained fascinated by the milk that your breasts kept producing. liquid flowed from your nipples as scaramouche focused his attention on marking your tits with deep purple, pinching and tugging at your skin. the pleasure you derived from pain made your cunny flutter around the yaksha, driving him to his own release. he spurted buckets of his own milk inside of you, not stopping until his balls felt empty. you came alongside him, relishing in the feeling of being so full. your pussy gushed, liquid covering your thighs and xiao's lower stomach.

"stupid pet, such a pathetic cumdump for anyone sorry enough to slip their cock inside your loose hole, hmm?" scaramouche cooed. "how about you thank our guest for fucking you like the whore you are?"

#thena.mail #thena.thirsts #❥— luvii #˘ᵕ˘ scaramouche #˘ᵕ˘ xiao #genshin smut #genshin impact smut

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pistolslinger · 3 years

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how would i describe the mun of pis tol slinger dot tumblr dot com? i've said this a million times and i will say it a million times more until i am 96 years old but nat you are one of the funniest person i have ever met in the rpc. whether you're posting something ooc on the dash or sending something 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓭 in the dms i just know!!! i just know that i'm going to be laughing until i get stitches! talking to you is effortless, i'm pretty sure we just skipped all the awkward first interactions that happen with most people and just dove head first into the circus and i wouldn't have it any other way. on top of that, you are also so kind and welcoming and so easily approachable and that's just the trifecta of a good rp'er imho. and not to mention your writing! every time i read your threads i'm just absolutely floored by how talented you are and how well you understand jesper. please never doubt your characterisation or the way you write him because it's an absolute joy to read everything and see what kind of ideas and aus you think up for him! you are just a bright light in the rpc, and i'm glad that our paths crossed and that we're friends 🥰

HOW WOULD U DESCRIBE ME TO UR GRAMMA?

NO BC IM TRULY GOING TO START EATING WASPS RN. juli!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i rly came into this rpc thinking i couldnt love jesper and kaz’s dynamic any more than i already did, but then U HAPPENED and now i am sobbing over them always!!!!!! i’ve said it before a million times and i will continue hooting it NOW: ur ability to mix kaz’s sharp wit and abrasiveness with his sense of humour always has me 🥰 u don’t tone down how cutting he can be, and u always make it work in every single interaction. like, it cannot be easy writing with as many ppl as u do with a muse like kaz, who is nigh unapproachable, but u have genuinely managed to make him both easy to interact with, and FUN to build a dynamic with, and i love it SO much. and ur writing style itself is gorgeous, and u handle dialogue + improvising plots so well, i love seeing ur responses on the dash, ic / crack / anything. also, ooc, u are genuinely one of my favourite ppl i’ve met thru rp. ur so funny, so down to earth, SO DOWN TO CLOWN always. we joke about sharing a braincell, but i cant think of a better person to share a braincell with :( the only thing is, ma’am. u are way too humble for ur own good. everything u put out into the rpc, be it ur ic writing, ur graphics, ur personality n wonderful sense of humour, all of it is appreciated n loved by so many ppl!!!!!!! SO MANY!!!!!!! i wish u would give urself more credit for all the cool shit u do and how cool a person u are, bc u deserve praise for it ALWAYS. im super grateful our orbs met across the rpc...........betwixt the taco bell and COWBOY AU........ 𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖑𝖊 𝖇𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖓𝖈𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖜𝖆𝖘 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖌𝖊𝖉 💖

#I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THIS MADE ME WEEP LIL ORBS #builtmyth #ANSWERED ... ‘ ooc meme.

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yeehawitstheplague · 4 years

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Me again- Im a sucker for your Slinger posts and this popped in my head. Me being an artist I tend to get art block a lot so like- how would Quinn react to someone using him as inspiration for drawing? 😳

catch me drawing self insert with the cowboy on the main when i’m taking a break from commissions uwu

i did headcanons for this one, i hope thats okay 🥺👉👈

. . .

-Caleb is decently artistic, at least with architectural and blue print kinda stuff, when he would design his inventions and weapons

-however, he never really used it beyond that

-when he finds his s/o is a little artist themselves, he of course is interested in seeing their work

-with your permission of course, he’ll look all through your sketchbook and just kinda stare at each piece, taking in everything about it

-he becomes your number one fan when it comes to your art

-however, a particular piece catches his eye; a portrait like piece of a smiling man

-pretty normal except he looks a lot like.. him??

-long hair, cowboy hat, a scar along his face, glowing eyes..

-he’ll glance at you with a curious look,

“Is that..me?”

-you nod with a sheepish smile

-he’ll look at it again, observing all the details

-it flusters him quite a bit actually, that you took the time to sit and use your talent to draw little ol’ him

-has the dorkiest smile on his face the whole time

-will probably ask if he can keep it or if you’d rather keep it, if you could make another one for him

-better yet, a drawing of you & him together

-he will literally treasure it forever

-probably hangs it up in his workshop so he can look at it when he gets frustrated with whatever he’s working on

-Caleb: :(

*looks at art made by s/o who he loves with all his heart*

Caleb: :)

#dead by daylight #caleb quinn #deathslinger #caleb quinn x reader #deathslinger x reader #dbd imagine #dbd headcanons #deathslinger headcanons

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sarcastically-defensive17 · 4 years

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With Great Power Comes Great Love-ability - Peter Parker x Male!reader

Original story by Sarcastically-defensive17

No matter how many times Peter had gone on patrol, your heart still all but stopped beating if he was a few minutes past the time he promised he would meet you.

Your window was permanently unlocked for the curly haired boy, which wasn’t the safest idea, considering you live in downtown Queens.

If anything happened, you knew for sure that your web-slinger would be there.

It’s easy to recall the vivid memory of him dancing around in his suit, mask off as it loosely draped over his frame. He was singing Charlie Puth’s One Call Away in an ear grating falsetto.

That was the moment you realized, you loved him more than anything.

He was your personal superhero. Literally. You two met because he stopped you from getting mugged, then you clumsily tripped, pulling him down with you and ripping his mask off at the same time.

A meeting for the history books. Friendly neighbourhood superhero, Spider-Man unmasked by clumsy college student. It’s a good thing the perp was knocked out.

To say you were smitten was an understatement. You had no doubt in your mind that the man standing in front of you was possibly the most adorable thing you had seen.

Peter struggled with his feelings for a bit. He admitted that he was worried about dragging somebody into his life, but to be frank, you didn’t give him much of a choice.

You worked your way in and he couldn’t have been happier.

The clumsy meeting turned into friendship, which turned into you ordering him to stop by your house after his patrol in order to make sure he didn’t “get murdered by some evil psycho bird dude” like he nearly did in high school.

It was hard for him to keep a straight face when he told you the vulture story, as your eyes were wide and gasps would leave your lips after every sentence left his.

The friendship then quickly turned into a rushed confession when he came through your window bloodied and bruised.

He will never forget the words that fell from your lips that night as your arms wrapped around his neck.

“You are not allowed to die. Ever. I have the biggest crush on you that totally violates our platonic friendship but I don’t care because you’re beautiful and amazing and you cannot die, Peter! Ever!”

Next thing you both knew, he asked you on a date, which led to another, and another, and another. He introduced you to his Aunt May, who is perhaps the sweetest woman alive, even if she can’t cook to save her life.

You accidentally forced yourself into a dinner with Mr Tony Stark after you called Peter while he was out and the man answered the phone.

Perhaps you could have delayed the meeting if Peter hadn’t changed your contact name to “Mi Amore”. He thought he was being cute, but the billionaire answered and immediately invited you to dinner with his wife and himself.

Almost a year later and you were discussing moving in together. But you have yet to say the three most important words.

Your past relationships had been rollercoasters, and you knew Pete was closed off to the idea of love because he was worried about others getting hurt because of him, but you were adamant about your feelings.

This then lead to tonight, where you sit in one of Peter’s shirts and a pair of oversized sweatpants, binge watching Brooklyn 99 and eating popcorn while you wait for your boyfriend to come home.

True to form, his arrival goes unnoticed to you, due to Jake Peralta’s sheer beauty occupying your senses, and you jump at the feeling of a hand against your shoulder and lips on your head.

The result: a groaning Peter clutching at his mouth that connected harshly with your head.

“Oh my god! Pete! I am so sorry!” Your hands scramble to his face, concern in your eyes but a smile working its way to your face.

“I think you broke my mouth,” he groans, pulling his hand away every few seconds to check for blood. Evidently, there is none.

You simply roll your eyes before pulling the spider boy onto the lounge with you. He finally gives up his dramatic battle wound trope and presses a kiss to your forehead.

The sound of the television fills the room, and you rest your head on Peter’s shoulder, listening as his soft breathing relaxes you.

You feel him shift slightly, and his arm tightens around your waist, drawing you closer to his body.

His next words force a pleasant warmth into your chest.

“I love you,” he whispers, pressing another kiss to your forehead.

You can’t stop the grin that stretches across your face as you turn your head towards him, “it’s about damn time. I love you.”

He presses his lips to yours, the popcorn and Detective Peralta all but forgotten.

——

THE ENDING IS BAD BUT IM SORRY! FLUFF IS NOT MY STRONG SUIT!

#peter parker #peter parker x male reader #peter parker x reader #spiderman #tom holland #marvel #oneshot #fluff

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ao3-spideypool · 4 years

Text

Picture on the Milk Carton

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3iNakJo

by Butrthnu

Spider-Man has been missing for close to three years now, and without the protection of everyone’s favorite web slinger, the city of New York has quickly overflowed with crime.

Deadpool, having worked with Spider-Man on more than one occasion, knows with absolute certainty that Spidey would never abandon the city without a good reason. He’s been searching high and low for the arachnid the past three years, and the only lead as to where Spider-Man could have wandered off to is his apparent friend and personal photographer, Peter Parker.

Words: 3852, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Peter Parker, Wade Wilson, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Matt Murdock

Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson

Additional Tags: Mentions of Harry Osborn, mentions of norman osborn, spin off idea from the comics, Spideypool - Freeform, spideypool in 2020, you better believe, Angst, Lots of it, Peter is 23, Wade is 29, no pedos here, my first fic on here uwu, Slow Burn, What am I doing, mentions of Vanessa, Peter is depressed, Wade is depressed, im depressed

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3iNakJo

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #spideypool

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krissy-kat · 4 years

Text

PJOverse Headcanons Pt 4:-

(Sorry my hand slipped)

Peter age 15 Harley 16

• Peter doesn't go back to Camp due being busy patrolling Queens as Spiderman

• Harley is really upset when he hears that Peter won't be coming to Camp, he had finally gathered all his courage and was finally going to ask him out but never gets a chance to

• That year Harley's father came to visit him

• "Why are you here, you abandoned us, didn't even tell us that you were a God"

• "Harley listen I'm sorry but I had to"

• "Then tell me the goddam reason"

• "So do you know about our Roman counterparts and children "

• "Yes, they live in New Rome now along with few Greek demigods and don't talk to me in circles"

• "You know that Greek and Roman demigods have recently found out about each other and before that we weren't allowed to tell you, your sister was daughter of my Roman form Vulcan and if Hera or Juno had found out, I don't what she would have done"

• Harley didn't know what to think about it, he knew his sister was a demigod when he found about his dad being a God but he didn't expect her to be a Roman demigod

• "Ok, but I still haven't forgiven completely "

• "I didn't expect you would, but it's a start right "

• "Maybe"

• Peter would still IMs MJ, no matter how much she'll deny it she considers Peter a friend, she also tells him about the on ongoing fight about how his half siblings says that his superhero persona can't be trusted and how Flash with his whole Cabin will come to defend him

• Some time later Civil War happens, Peter didn't tell Tony about him being a demigod because he thought it wasn't relevant when he comes to recruit him

• Tony takes Peter under his wing and they get close

• Tony is absolutely furious when the events homecoming occur

• "Peter, I thought we were close, why didn't you tell me that you were chasing after a murderous psychopath"

• "But Mr Stark.."

• "A building fell on you, you could have died"

• "But.."

• "I don't want you moonlighting as spiderman for atleast a month"

• "Ok, but what am I supposed to tell Aunt May about the internship"

• "You know what from next week you're going to be my personal intern, real intern this time and I'll able to easily keep a eye on you"

• "Ok, Mr Stark"

• ( Infinity War and Endgame doesn't happen because this is my Au I'll do what I want to)

Peter age 16 , Harley age 17

• Harley decided to tell his mother and sister about being a demigod and his father being a God and going to the Camp since he was 12, a month before summer vacation

• They thought it was an elaborate joke

• Harley looked up and says out loud "If you want me to forgive you, help me out here"

• Hephaestus appears out thin air

• "Aaah! What are you doing here "

• "You asked for my help"

• "It was more along lines of sending a Celestial bronze dog or dragon like Leo's"

• "You know Tony Stark, she would have thought it was a prank "

• "Ok, you're right she would have definitely thought that"

• "She's right here, you both are talking about me like I'm not here. Harley I'll talk to later about hiding this stuff from me. And you, you don't think it would have easier to tell me you were a God when you left, I would have been a lot less of mess than I was "

• "I'm Sorry "

• "I'm sorry doesn't cut it, did what Harley told us about Roman counterpart and Abbie being a roman demigod is true"

• "Yes"

• "Ok, I understand your situation but you aren't forgiven "

• "Understood "

• "Now Harley, you are grounded until your graduation except your summer vacation because of the summer Camp thing"

• "But it will be my senior year next year "

• "No buts and you (pointing at Hepheatus) will you be staying for dinner"

• "Gods don't.."

• Hepheastus steps on Harley's foot

• Harley glares at him

• "Of course "

• "What were you saying Harley"

• "Nothing "

• In Summer vacation Harley goes to Camp Half blood and asks Abbie if she wants come too

• "After the Giant war, many roman demigods come to Camp Half Blood during summer, and I'll be staying first week at Tony's are sure you still want to go to Camp Jupiter "

• "Mom's still angry at him for not telling her I doubt she'll let me stay there, I still think it's miracle she allowing you to and I'm a Roman demigod I'll be fine in Camp designed for Roman demigods"

• "Are you sure, you'll get a tattoo there and it's quite painful from what I have heard"

• "I'll be fine and I'm sure it will look badass"

• "Do you want me to come with you to Camp Jupiter, I'm sure they won't mind"

• "I'm 13 Harley, I can take care of myself besides Mom will be staying in New Rome for the first week"

• Harley was still upset she won't be staying with him at Tony's and going to Camp Half Blood

• Harley always stays the first week of his summer vacation with Tony, so he was looking forward to meeting Spiderman, no matter how much Athena Cabin said you can't trust him

• "Sorry kiddo, he's grounded and I still blame you for the lecture I received from your Mom"

• "What do you mean he's grounded "

• "His Guardian found out he was moonlighting as Spiderman, so she grounded him, he's not even allowed to visit the tower"

• "Wait he's a teenager, now I want to meet him even more"

• "Oh no I know that look, I won't be introducing you two anytime soon, you both will make my hair grey twice as fast as they already are"

• "Aww, you're no fun at all Old Man"

• Meanwhile at Peter's home

• "Please Aunt May, I need to meet Mr Stark's other protege, how else am I supposed to know whether I can be friendly with him or I'll have to compete against him "

• "I told you are grounded so no Tony Stark and Ned for three weeks and no spiderman for a month and it has only been one week so you are still grounded"

• "But he won't be there then"

• "What part of being grounded don't you understand Peter"

• "Why am I not allowed to hang out with Ned anyway"

• "He should have told me when he found out and I know it's as much punishment for him as is it for you and you both know it"

• After his grounding is over Mr Stark hugs him tightly since he missed Peter and he's like a son to him

• Peter shifts to Tower part time because there is a shortage of employees at May's work place and she has to work overtime

• Peter while IMing MJ complains that his last Camp t-shirt was torn and he misses it, three day later he get a package with 2 new t-shirts saying that she couldn't bear Peter complaining anymore

• Rouge Avengers are pardoned soon after and since Tony still hasn't forgiven them completely and doesn't trust them with Spiderman's identity he asks Peter to tell them he's his personal intern when anyone asks why a civilian was with him

• The first time he runs into Captain America he gives him the death glare that MJ taught him, suffice to say Captain America never have been scared so much from a teenager

• Peter was in the kitchen and peacefully eating his cereal when Mr Barton comes in and see him and looks at him in confusion then his face turns into a determined look

• "FRIDAY call Tony into kitchen right now tell him it's a emergency and please make a excuse if anyone tries to come in"

• It was Peter's time to confused

• "Why the hell to call me at this ungodly hour this better be important "

• "Why the hell didn't you me a warning that you adopted another demigod"

• Tony stares dumbfounded at him

• "What to you mean by that?"

• "Come on Tony, he sitting right here eating cereal in Camp T-shirt"

• "Excuse Mr Barton, Mr Stark didn't know that I'm a demigod also he didn't adopt me"

• Tony and Clint didn't know what to say

• Finally Clint broke the silence

• "I think you both need to have a conversation so I'll just leave"

• "Sooo.. you are demigod huh?"

• "I'm literal brain child of my dad and athena, so yeah I'm a demigod"

• "Wait a sec, aren't children of Athena are supposed to scared of spiders"

• "Who said I'm not scared shitless of them, it's just I have spider powers that's why I go around as spiderman"

• Uncomfortable Awkward silence

• "So I was thinking of making you a iron spider suit with nanotechnology "

• They quickly change the conversation and pretend the previous never happened

• Meanwhile at the Camp Harley was thinking how many nicknames can be given to a superhero

• The nicknames used to discuss Spiderman were getting more and more ridiculous because every name is banned as soon as it is has been heard by Chiron

• The names which have been banned till date include Spidey, the web-slinger, the wall-crawler, the arachnid and after this the people stopped feeling creative and thus SM, SpiderM, the Man of Spiders and worst one yet Sipdeydude

• The name they were referring to Spiderman right now was S-Man

• Flash was arguing with Annabeth who has been part of two Great Prophecies but Flash didn't give a dam about it because nobody says something bad about Spiderman and get away with it

• Suddenly a voice breaks the fight apart

• "Annabeth, we should get going if we want to catch the train in time, so stop arguing with my sibling about Spiderman"

• "But Pipes, a person associating themselves with Spiders can't be good, why can't he understand "

• "Yes they can, this is your irrational fear for spiders speaking "

• "I have fought Arachne I assure you it is not irrational "

• "Yes, it is now let's go we don't need to miss the train unless you want to get to New Rome a day late"

• Piper and Annabeth leaves

• The next Chiron asks Harley to do a supply run in Queens and asks him to take any two campers with him

• He was asking MJ to go with him when Flash overhears him then forced Harley to take him too because he was determined that they might able to see Spiderman

• Unfortunately while on supply run they encountered a full grown cyclops so they lured it into an alley to fight it

• Peter was just patrolling in his neighbourhood, he didn't expect to run into demigods fighting a cyclops

• Since he had a tendency to go headfirst into danger, he forgot that it might reveal the fact he's a demigod to them

• It was only after he webbed the cyclops's eye and both his legs together that he sees the demigods fighting the cyclops were MJ, Flash and Harley

• When the cyclops was trying to take web out of his eye he webs his hands to his face

• "I hope you guys will handle this situation from here"

• He swings out of there

• Harley was in a daze, Flash has turned into a overexcited puppy and MJ was suspicious because she was like 67% is was Peter

• I mean come on he could see the monster so either he was a demigod or mortal with the vision and mortals tends to ignore the demigod stuff. Also the fact that he didn't came to Camp last year when Spiderman started appearing and this year he came up with a flimsy excuse

• So after getting back at Camp while Flash and Harley were busy telling about their encounter to everyone MJ slipped out to IM Peter

• Peter was in his room in Stark Tower, and thinking back it was a big neon sign about Peter being Spiderman

• "Hey MJ"

• "You're Spiderman "

• "W-What?"

• "You're Spiderman and you saved Harley, Flash and me from cyclops"

• "Nice one, MJ"

• MJ gave him her stop-the-BS glare

• "Ok, ok, but don't tell anyone "

• "I won't but you are a dumbass who revealed that you are either a demigod or mortal with vision by coming between our fight and now the whole camp knows some one will soon join the dots and find out you are Spiderman"

• "Would it hurt you to be a little positive MJ"

• "Yes and who else knows "

• "Aunt May, Ned, Mr Stark and now you"

• "Good, try to keep that way"

• "Ok, any other questions "

• "Well aren't scared shitless of spiders, how does that work for you "

• "Don't remind me, I still have nightmares from when I was bit by the radioactive spider at OsCorp during our field trip"

• "Interesting way of telling me how you got your power and I should go before someone comes to find me and overhear our conversation "

• "Do you have to scare me about accidentally revealing my identity to everyone, it's hardly been 10 mins since you found out"

• "Yes and bye loser I gotta go"

( I have some more ideas so there definitely will be a Part 5 just don't know when)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 5

Part 7

Part 6

Part 8

#peter parker #harley keener #parkner #michelle jones #flash thompson #tony stark #irondad #clint barton #captain america #son of athena! peter #son of hephaestus! harley #son of apollo! clint #son of aphrodite! flash #daughter of ares! mj #daughter of ares! michelle #pjoverse au #abbie keener #daughter of vulcan! abbie

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prettypityprincess · 5 years

Text

“no way!”

pairing: flash & peter friendship

request: nope, but i feel like the people need it

warnings: spiderman far from home spoilers!! swearing

description: headcanons about flash discovering that his classmate, peter parker, is actually, his idol, spiderman

note: i wrote this in one sitting, but the thing that took longest was the cursed image u will see later on

lets get one thing fucking straight, flash thompson is a spiderman stan, okay?

his blog is the main evidence of that, but he also talks about the hero every chance that he gets.

it’s all “spider-man” this, and “spider-man” that, and “spider-man actually has a really nice butt, you can tell he works out a lot”

even zach, (who’s his best friend and has accepted his obsession) gets a little bit annoyed sometimes

flash doesn’t care though, he admires the hero and isn’t afraid to let everyone know about it

until, one day, while he’s sitting in his room listening to music (trying to appreciate life after he almost died), he gets a google alert for spider-man

the headline shocks him, but the video made by the psycho who tried to kill him, shocks him even more.

peter parker is spider-man

peter. his peter. the poor peter, who he teases and ruffles his hair whenever they pass each other in the hallway

that peter, is spider-man

which, after the inital shock doesn’t seem that impossible to him. in his notebook where he collects all the information he knows about spider-man, he had concluded that the web-slinger was definitely young, male, and still in school.

it wasn’t that hard to figure out, most of the high schools in the city let out at 3:00 PM, and by 3:15, spider-man always made an appearance

spider-man was in washington, and in europe (under the guise of night monkey) and he saved flash and all of his friends at the end of their trip

so, it was looking a bit less like impossible and more like, really fucking obvious

first, came the embarrassment

if peter is actually who mysterio says he is, then that means that he had been teasing one of the only people he looks up to

spider-man, who he loves, and peter, who he does not love (and if you asked him, he’d furiously deny it) are the same fucking person

shit

so yeah, that hurts his heart a little bit. he freaks out, and debates on whether or not he should text his classmate, but decides against it

because then, came the realization

spider-man peter saved him even though flash was a dick to him. peter is,,, not as bad as he once thought

and spider-man is just greater than ever- a true hero that can put aside petty fights in order to do the right thing

which leads to, the plan.

now, flash has thousands of followers- not only on his personal account, but on his spider-man blog as well. and a lot of those followers have been blowing up his phone, asking him what he thinks about the ‘revealed identity of spider-man!!??”

he replies to one message only, and tells them that tomorrow he will be filming a youtube video with his thoughts on the situation

that night (which was probably one of the most eventful of his life, and he’s almost died, like four times) flash makes a long list of evidence for both spider-man, and peter

two days later, hundreds of thousands of people receive a notification for a youtube video titled, “Spider-Man is NOT Peter Parker (Mysterio video DEBUNKED with PROOF!)”

“look, i know peter parker personally, and there is no way that a kid as normal as him is spider-man!”

“first of all, mysterio is an crazy asshole who tried to kill me. why would anyone believe what he says? spider-man actually saved peter’s life, i think that might be why mysterio targeted him- to get back at spider-man! i’m making sense, people!”

“spider-man’s suit is clearly high tech and expensive, and peter doesn’t have a lot of money- believe me, i’ve been to his house- so how would he be able to afford a suit that looks as classy as spider-man’s?? he wouldn’t be! because he’s not spider-man!”

“here, we have a picture of spider-man without his mask on. i only managed to get a snap of the back of his neck before spider-man saw me, but there’s a clear mole on the back of his neck. here’s a picture of the back of peter’s neck- no mole!!”

“on my list of evidence, i have written that spider-man stands at 5′11, i got this information by being close to him during many life or death situations. but peter, is only 5′6- he’s a fellow short king, like myself. unless you’re ant-man, you can’t make yourself grow and shrink on command.”

“you guys can believe anything you want, but the evidence has been supplied for you to know the truth. do i think peter parker is spider-man?” flash laughs, “no way!”

relief spreads over him when he watches several people comment, ‘i knew this was fake’

he sends a link of the video to peter, along with a message saying, “your secret is safe with me”

if he could do anything to make up for his before, it was this.

a few minutes later, he gets a reply.

“thank you, flash. im serious, this means a lot.”

the brown skinned boy smiles, he wasn’t messing around when he said spider-man inspires him to be a better man. now, he can add someone else to that list.

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spiderman-spoilerman · 4 years

Text

SPIDERMAN EXPOSED BECAUSE OF TAYLOR SWIFT ADDICTION: What Is Peter Parker to Spider-Man?

This shit that has been going on for months now has finally been solved. For the longest time I’ve been following Spider-Man oh so very closely, eager to find out his identity—not to expose it to the media vultures, oh no, our hero deserves more than that. But… to satisfy my own curiosity. He’s the only Avenger hiding his identity, you know? You’d think they’d be okay with it after all these other superheroes get to run around freely…

Anyway!

As you all know, countless names have been linked to Spider-Man. He seems close with Tony Stark, but that’s hardly relevant. There’ve been links to JD Slinger, the American Pop Singer, in a very poor attempt to sell records—you’re not Hannah Montana JD fucking Slinger! Stick to your trash music!!!

However untrue and disappointing Slinger’s attempt at fame is, he’s not the only one with musical elements that is linked to Spider-Man.

A few months ago, a viral video entering adorable and kind of pedos-get-the-fuck-out-of-here-territory circulated around the internet and into our nightly news, as does every baby goes viral video does. You can check it out on the link below for a good dose of endorphins.

[Link: Baby boy wants to be Taylor Swift, re-uploaded by djflash]

[Description: A six-year old boy is standing in the shower with a towel draped over his body like a makeshift cloak, he is clutching his tooth brush on and seems to be furiously lip syncing. The camera shakes as the person behind the camera stifles laughter.

May Parker, the original uploader and aunt of the then-toddler Peter, asks: Aren’t you tired Peter? From all the singing? You’ve been singing for two hours. Aren’t you cold?

Peter is intensely staring at the mirror as he lip-syncs but pauses to look at May. He says in a tired and raspy voice: Yeah, but, but my fans! I need to sing, Auntie May, for the fa— [looking harried] DROP EVERYTHING NOW, MEET ME IN THE POURING RAIN—

The sound of Peter singing is drowned by May’s scream as Peter falls on his butt, having jumped with his passion for the song, and tripping.

It cuts off with May laughing while taking Peter in her arms, phone capturing her picking him up and hearing Peter crying as he tries to get back to the mirror: It—doesn’t hurt May. Need to get back—my! My concert!

Video ends]

Now how does a viral video of a baby Taylor Swift fan connect to Spider-Man?

Well, May Parker posted it on Facebook when Flash Thompson, who claims to be a good friend of Peter Parker (although I highly doubt this, he’s only in it for the clout and Spider-Man’s love, click here for more on Flash), decided to share it to everyone. One of his reposts on Twitter propelled it to viral success.

Weeks later, May Parker decided to bless us again with more content by taking a video of her now teenage (17 years old—PEDO’S STAY AWAY) nephew singing, once again, a Taylor Swift song.

[Link: I’m so glad im seventeen and can properly thirst upon this wonderful hooman]

[Description: They are in the kitchen this time and May Parker is being discreet with her video-taking. A Taylor Swift song ends softly from his phone’s tiny speakers. A Spotify ad interrupts but the video cuts it off two seconds later for another Taylor Swift song to filter in.

We take in the scenario. Peter is in his pyjamas, shaking his booty while singing Stay Stay Stay. He flourishes his hands a few times, dramatizing, “That’s when you came in wearing a football helmet, and I said, [he changes voices] “Okay, let’s talk” [he finishes one pancake and pours a new batter in before using the ladle as a microphone, as if in anticipation for the moment, and, back bent, face scrunched up, belts: STAYSTAYSTAY I’ve b EEN LUH-VING YOU FOR QUITE SOME TIME- TI-HIME! YOU THINK THAT ITS FUNNEH WHEN I’M—OH MAN, I spilled batter on my shirt!”

The camera shakes with May’s silent laughter. Peter does not seem to notice. He looks side to side, almost as if he is looking for something to wipe the batter with, but there are no paper towels in sight and his shirt is dripping with the excess batter the size of his fist.

In the most compelling, and understandable, moment of decision making, Peter has chosen not to be responsible and strips instead, to the utter delight of seventeen-year old’s in the world (and ONLY those younger than that! Pedos, I swear to god, if I see you, I kill you, that last blog was the last time you make me burn my eyes!)—a wonderful set of abs and toned muscles you would not expect from a seventeen year old boy singing to Taylor Swift with the squeakiest voice in the world. Adorable. Ten points for my good boy ranks.

The video ends with Peter staring further at the shirt and licking at the batter before it violently cuts off to the roaring laughter of one May Parker]

It is peculiar, to watch May navigate the wonders of technology, too, because the first video was on her Facebook years unnoticed before Flash Thompson unearthed it for the world to see (Mr. Thompson, what exactly were your intentions going through a beautiful May Parker’s Facebook pictures?). But this time, she also apparently intended to send it to Peter’s friend’s Instagram account. However, the fluke came when she posted it and tagged them instead.

People who have followed her upon the first viral video have now decided it to be God’s work to distribute the video, making it viral within days. The very same people were the ones who noticed that Peter Parker’s singing style is the very same as Spider-Man’s.

I hear you gasp. Well, of course. I spit my tea as well, when I realized it too.

See, unless you were living under a rock, about a year ago, Spider-Man was exposed as a Taylor Swift fan when he saved a ten year old girl and began teaching her about the History and Influence of Swift’s discography and career, before proceeding to sing with her the hit song Speak Now. All of it was caught on camera, of course.

The people who spread this new video started a conspiracy theory that Spider-Man and Peter Parker are very similar people. One user @finn-man-the-aquaman pointed out that Spider-Man and Peter Parker’s voice are very similar. Another user @maxine_and_spider-man compared the dance moves from the two videos, putting frames of each steps beside each other, and found that it was so uncannily similar that it couldn’t have been a coincidence. It was an interesting point to make, because both Peter and Spider-Man had particular steps, all seemingly on a whim, but also matching each other perfectly. They are by no means good dancers, God no, but their whimsical dancing looks like two bad dancers following one choreography, couldn’t follow it technically but committed to it emotionally.

Twitter user @emiliar summarized it the best: the chest pump, the feet extension, the little jig, and the butt shake, before leaning backward and singing at the height of their emotions— apparently this is a common dance choreography?

To which @pissshitcry responded with a video that would bring us the wonderful breakthrough that I’ve been walking you all through.

[VIDEO uploaded by spidermansavedmetwice]

[Caption by @pissshitcry: No. Apparently: ]

[Video Description: Spider-Man is swinging through the buildings before stopping by Midtown High School, in front of a harried looking student, screaming frantically, and this is it folks: CAN YOU GIVE THIS TO NED LEEDS, TELL HIM SPIDER-MAN THANKS HIS FRIEND PETER! tHANKS! Before zipping away

Video ended]

Now. Okay. I know, calm down guys, I’m trying so hard not to run up the hills and do an Irish Jig, because I am so, so, so excited about all these new revelations! Nobody has quite documented this, too, so people, watch out for more of my content in a few weeks.

SO! Implication one: Spider-Man knows Ned Leeds.

Implication two: Peter Parker helped Spider-Man somehow.

Implication three: Spider-Man knows Peter Parker.

Cut, do it again, but with more emotions: SPIDER-MAN KNOWS PETER PARKER.

Let’s zoom back to a few weeks after the viral hits and Taylor Swift posts a video of her watching the video and then saying into the camera, with that iconic red lipstick and perfectly sculpted eyebrows: I have never thought this would be something that will happen to me in my career ever, but seeing a super-hero sing praises about me and teaching my [and she quotes from Spider-Man’s erratic explanation about her history] “unattainable song-writing prowess equal to that of the rock singing legends of ye old—” really does bring a smile to my face! More than that, Peter Parker is an absolute cutie too! He looks like such a sweetheart, baking those pancakes, apparently, for her aunt? Be sweet to your aunts guys! But also. I came here to cordially invite both Spider-Man and Peter Parker to come out to my concert in New York in two weeks! I’ll be there May 25th at the Lincoln Center, and maybe we can all sing together!”

She ends the video with the iconic Spider-Man wrist flip. The video has been circulated and has now gained over an estimated 100 million views.

It sparked a buzz of interest among the people, Peter Parker having received much of the spotlight. He hasn’t said anything in relation to Spider-Man but had reluctantly agreed to go to Swift’s invite. And I cannot emphasize the reluctant part. Kid looked so uncomfortable, but maybe he’s just shy!

Okay. Now, this thing is the most glaring indicator of what I will be telling you. The night of the concert. Everyone is there for Swift, but everyone is also there waiting for the much-awaited Spider-Man and Peter Parker saga. Halfway into her song list, Taylor Swift stopped to talk. The time has come.

Peter Parker walks into the stage, and the crowd welcomes him with adoring cheers, similar to Swift’s entrance herself. She introduces him, even though she absolutely does not need to, and the people scream their approval.

When Swift gives him his own mic, he almost drops it before catching it with his incredible reflexes. Swift calls for Spider-Man to reveal himself, much to the delight of the crowd, chanting his name as if it was a concert for him, which, in many ways, it kind of was. However, Spider-Man didn’t appear after that and the duo had to continue on.

It was a cute performance, with Parker stumbling a few times before getting the groove with Swift and belting it out as well. Everyone joins in on them singing and enjoying her old songs, Swift smiling and laughing the whole time.

Peter leaves the stage Spider-Man plushies and roses thrown for him, to which he received with a graceful bow. Swift resumes her concert after a few hearty jokes thrown in—but wait! What’s that?!

A screaming insect crashes at one of the large LED walls at the stage and the camera [and the collective crowd] is surprised to see the superhero—SPIDER-MAN!

“Ehehehe, hello Miss Taylor Swift, Ma’am!” He says, in a particularly deeper voice. Autotune? Before they sing it out, as they would—Swift laughing, and Spider-Man trying—Spider-Man explains that he was nervous meeting Peter Parker, before scrambling to correct that it was Swift he was nervous about meeting.

Swift then teases Spider-Man about a potential crush, which.

BRINGS US TO MY BREAKTHROUGH POINT.

TAYLOR SWIFT WAS ABOUT TO BRING US THE GAY COUPLE OF THE CENTURY, BUT SPIDER-MAN WAS TOO CHICKEN TO GET TO IT.

Okay, alright, I hate pedos, and we don’t exactly know Spider-Man’s age but we do know that he’s very young, what with all the pop culture references he’s been dropping with the intuition of an internet native. So, he’s young, alright? Possibly Gen-Z, even. Here’s a post you can see about his age analysis.

SPIDER-MAN. HAS. A. CRUSH. ON. PETER. PARKER.

[Insert hand chopping movements]

AND THEY ALMOST HAD A CUTE MOMENT ON STAGE HAD SPIDER-MAN BRAVED IT THROUGH.

PETER PARKER, AND I MEAN, PETER PARKER! SPIDER-MAN HAS A CRUSH ON YOU!

We’ve established that Spider-Man knows Peter Parker. They’ve met. Peter has possibly helped, or even saved Spider-Man himself. Now, saving a superhero is something that not just anybody does. And Parker himself is a student at Midtown Science High—he’s a smart kid! And seeing as these events just happened months apart, it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to imagine them meeting again, perhaps, with Parker making pancakes in dewy mornings, and a tired (and yearning) Spider-Man is watching from the windows as Peter dances along to Swift’s songs.

The watching from the windows theory and thus getting to know the choreography might not be so creepy if you factor in the fact that Spider-Man might be hiding his crush for Parker’s safety!

It is like the modern incarnation of Super-Hero romance, only now, its more inclusive! To exist in such a beautiful world, and to watch such an innocent tale bloom in this cruel, cruel world. We could only hope to see more of them together, maybe as something... more?

COMMENTS:

reblogged by thunderstrike: this is like someone trying to overanalyze twilight for some depth—THERE ISN’T ONE!

thunderstrike reblogged by spidahmanna: come on, give them some credit at least for recounting the most batshit insane crossover in the universe as we know it so far

reblogged by skdfas: this person needs help, but very entertaining to read

reblogged by nedleads: oH MY GOD

reblogged by kliyon: new ship, age appropriate Spider-Man x Peter Parker

reblogged by ekeke: um yes, i need a dash of meet-cute with one cup of flavored angst—soda please, I like it to hurt— large fluff, a BFF serving of some of them yearning, and a happy sad-meal for one please.

reblogged by unaunann: im done with this site, who wants to burn the internet with me?

3, 000 reblogs in 1 day

Tony, reading the blog: Hmmm…

[Later]

Tony: Okay so I read this blog and I have remedied it.

Peter: Oh my god thankyoumisterstark I swear I didn’t mean to—

Tony: You are now the biggest shareholder for Spotify because I know you don’t want me to pay for a premium account, but if you’re gonna listen to those damn ads while singing to Taylor Swift, at least earn from it, you know?

Peter: …that’s what you took from the whole thing?

NEXT ARTICLE: The Avengers film a parody of Queen’s I Want To Break Free. Is Captain America is as beautiful as Rogerina, or is he too buff??? Tony Stark is an iconic drama queen, perfect for Freddie Mercury, and more!

#spider-man: far from home #Spider-Man: Homecoming #spiderman #taylor swift #tony stark #fluff #WHO WANTS A REACTION FROM THE AVENGERS FOR THIS #Spider-Man Identity reveal #parody #fake blog post #avengers #fanfiction

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arundolyn · 5 years

Text

monster of the week blazblue au nobody asked for!

these lists are what i used for reference even tho the only one i really used out of tome of mysteries is the hex

i got burned out and am stumped on amane bullet and azrael so suggestions are welcome

Ragna:

the chosen

moves: either invincible, devastating, or resilience

gear: handle, artifact, blade, heavy, steel

Look: man, controlled face, urban wear

charm -1, cool +2, sharp +1, tough +2, weird -1

found out through nightmares and visions

heroic tags: sacrifice and you can save the world

doom tags: host of monsters and loss of loved ones

history: waaaay too many choices. ie him and jin being siblings, jubei being destined to be his mentor, jin could have been the chosen one instead but wasn’t there for saya, etc

the wronged

moves: berserk and what does not kill me…

gear: huge sword, big knife, brass knuckles

look: man, angry eyes, nondescript clothes (?)

charm -1, cool -1, sharp =0, tough +2, weird +2

lost siblings and parent

prey: ghost?

couldn’t save them because he was weak

history: jubei showed him the ropes

Jin:

the professional

moves: unfazeable, battlefield awareness, tactical genius

gear: flak vest, only weapon that really fits him is big knife?

look: man, young face?, tailored suit

charm -1, cool +2, sharp +1, tough =0, weird +1

agency: works for a clandestine police team that studies the supernatural

resources: well armed and recognized authority

red tape: dubious motives and bureaucratic

history: ragna’s on the agency’s watchlist and he’s keeping an eye on him

Noel/Mu (cs era mu is dark side):

the spooky

moves: the sight, the big whammy, jinx

gear: 9mm, hunting rifle

look: girl, blank eyes, neat clothes

charm +2, cool =0, sharp -1, tough -1, weird +2

the dark side: violence, self destruction, paranoia

history: blood kin with ragna and jin, old friends with makoto and tsubaki

Rachel:

the spell-slinger

combat magic: blast, lightning/entropy, force/wind

moves: advanced arcane training, arcane reputation, enchanted clothing

gear: ritual knife

look: girl, goth clothes, weary eyes

charm -1, cool =0, sharp +2, tough -1, weird +2

history: valk acts are her conscience when her power goes to her head

Tao:

the mundane

moves: oops!, the power of heart, what could go wrong?

gear: hockey stick, pocket knife, skateboard cause why not

look: concealed, friendly face, sporty clothes(?)

charm +2, cool =0, sharp -1, tough +1, weird +1

history: good friends with ragna

Tager:

the monstrous

monster breed: demon

curse: anything holy I guess

natural attacks: claws, +1 harm

moves: immortal, unholy strength

gear: brass knuckles

look: man, powerful aura, stylish clothes

charm -1, cool -1, sharp =0, tough +2, weird +3

history: kokonoe is tied to his origin

Litchi:

the mundane

moves: let’s get out of here!, the power of heart, trust me

gear: hockey stick, nunchucks, fairly new car

look: woman, alluring face, casual clothes

charm +2, cool +1, sharp +1, tough =0, weird -1

history: romantically involved with roy

Arakune/Roy:

Literally The Monster but if i had to

the monstrous

monster breed: slime monster

curse: feed

natural attacks: magical force, ignore armor

moves: unnatural appeal, shapeshifter

look: mysterious, bestial aura

charm =0, cool -1, sharp +2, tough -1, weird +3

history: litchi and kokonoe are tied to his origin

the mundane

moves: panic button, trust me, don’t worry, i’ll check it out

gear: baseball bat, small handgun, bicycle

look: man, average face, nerdy clothes

charm +2, cool =0, sharp +1, tough +1, weird -1

history: romantically involved with litchi

Bang:

the chosen

moves: the big entrance or dutiful

gear: staff, artifact, spikes, long, steel

look: man, hopeful face, urban wear

charm +2, cool -1, sharp +1, tough +2, weird -1

heroic tags: secret training, a normal life

doom tags: you can’t save everyone, a nemesis

history: tenjo was destined to be his mentor i know she isnt here but fuck it i got nothin

Carl:

the wronged

moves: fervor, safety first

gear: enchanted dagger, 9mm, big knife

look: boy, angry eyes, nondescript clothes

charm =0, cool =0, sharp +1, tough +2, weird =0

lost sibling and parent

prey: shapeshifter (shapeshifter turned into relius and killed ada) or just relius

couldn’t save them because he was scared and weak

history: basically everyone has stood in carl’s way at some point

Hakumen:

the gumshoe

code: justice must be done

moves: asphalt jungle

gear: irrelevant

look: ambiguous, blank face, nondescript clothes

charm +1, cool =0, sharp +2, tough +1, weird -1

history: caught ragna committing a crime (being alive)

Nu:

the monstrous

monster breed: black beast

curse: pure drive (hate)

natural attack: magical force, ignore armor

moves: immortal, unquenchable vitality

gear: huge sword

look: girl, sinister aura, stylish clothes

charm -1, cool -1, sharp =0, tough +2, weird +3

history: ragna is tied to her curse

Lambda:

the initiate

moves: ancient fighting arts, mystic, sacred oath (to protect ragna)

gear: sword, big sword, sniper rifle

look: girl, agile body, archaic clothes

charm +1, cool -1, sharp +1, tough =0, weird +2

good traditions: fighting arts, flexible tactics

bad traditions: dubious motives

history: she noel and nu are sisters

Tsubaki/Izayoi:

the searcher

first encounter: higher power

moves: guardian, just another day

gear: irrelevant except for small knife

look: woman, thoughtful face, casual wear

charm +1, cool -1, sharp +1, tough =0, weird +2

history: found accounts of someone matching ragna’s description from before he was born

Hazama:

the crooked

background: grifter

moves: artifact (amulet,) friends on the force, notorious

gear: .38 revolver, big knife, baseball bat

heat: hibiki is a rival, took advantage of noel

underworld: worked with a demon

look: man, calculating eyes, tailored suit

charm +2, cool =0, sharp +1, tough -1, weird +1

history: terumi saved his life and now he owes him

the flake

moves: connect the dots, see, it all fits together, sneaky

gear: big knife, throwing knives, butterfly knife

look: man, suspicious eyes, neat clothes

charm +1, cool -1, sharp +2, tough =0, weird +1

history: ragna is tied to everything

Makoto:

the mundane

moves: the power of heart, what could go wrong?, don’t worry, i’ll check it out

gear: baseball bat, nunchucks, skateboard

look: woman, friendly face, sporty clothes(?)

charm +2, cool =0, sharp +1, tough +1, weird -1

history: initially mai’s rival

Valk:

the monstrous

monster breed: werewolf

curse: vulnerability (silver)

natural attacks: teeth, claws

moves: unholy strength, shapeshifter

look: man, powerful aura, archaic clothes

charm -1, cool -1, sharp =0, tough +2, weird +3

history: clavis tried to kill him and spared him

Plat:

the spooky

moves: premonitions, the big whammy, jinx

gear: no weapons we die with muchorin like men

look: girl, piercing eyes, ratty clothes

charm =0, cool -1, sharp +1, tough +1, weird +2

dark side: mood swings, rage, poor impulse control

history: jubei taught her to control her powers

Relius:

the expert

moves: i’ve read about this sort of thing, dark past

haven: lore library, mystical library, workshop

gear: silver sword, blessed knife, magical dagger

look: man, thoughtful face, tailored clothes

charm -1, cool =0, sharp +2, tough -1, weird +2

history: carl is his child

Kagura:

the professional

moves: battlefield awareness, tactical genius, mobility (stealthy, concealed weapons, obvious)

gear: flak vest, smg, hunting rifle, shotgun

look: man, chiseled face, tailored suit

charm +1, cool +2, sharp +1, tough -1, weird =0

agency: works for a clandestine police team that studies the supernatural

resources: well armed and recognized authority

red tape: dubious motives and bureaucratic

history: friends with other NOL soldiers in training im too lazy to list them all. except for makoto obviously

Kokonoe:

the hex

temptation: vengeance

moves: force of will, wise soul

look: woman, sharp eyes, trendy clothes

charm -1, cool =0, sharp +1, tough +1, weird +2

history: tager keeps her grounded

Terumi/Susan:

the divine

moves: boss from beyond, smite, cast out evil

gear: flaming sword

mission: exiled, but not the rest of that one just the exiled part, sowing evil instead of good

look: man for terumi/asexual for susan, blazing eyes, perfect suit

charm -1, cool =0, sharp +1, tough +2, weird +1

history: haz is the person he goes to for advice on mortal stuff lmao

Celica:

the mundane

Moves: always the victim, oops!, don’t worry, i’ll check it out

gear: baseball bat, pocket knife, fairly new car

look: girl, friendly face, normal clothes

charm +2, cool =0, sharp -1, tough +1, weird +1

history: related to nine, ragna is her hero

Hibiki:

the crooked

background: assassin

Moves: deal with the devil (skill, add to tough and sharp,) friends on the force, notorious

gear: .22 revolver, hunting rifle, big knife

heat: pissed off haz, who will do whatever it takes to kill him, and jin wants to put him in jail

underworld: target of a job was a vampire

look: man, watchful eyes, street wear

charm +1, cool +1, sharp +2, tough =0, weird -1

history: jin saw him kill someone

Nine:

the spell-slinger

combat magic: ball, fire, force/wind

moves: advanced arcane training, arcane reputation, forensic divination

gear: ritual knife

look: woman, stylish clothes, fierce eyes

charm -1, cool =0, sharp +2, tough -1, weird +2

history: she thought celica was dead And Yet, plus they’re related

the hex

temptation: power

moves: burn everything, luck of the damned

look: woman, angry eyes, trendy clothes

charm =0, cool =0, sharp +2, tough -1, weird +2

gear: athame

history: celica keeps her grounded

Naoto:

the chosen

moves: resilience

gear: handle, spikes, blade, throwable, blood

look: boy, young face, casual wear

charm +2, cool -1, sharp +1, tough +2, weird -1

found out via some weirdo (Raquel) telling him/by being attacked by monsters

heroic tags: magical powers, a normal life

doom tags: death, a nemesis

history: raquel is destined to be his mentor

Izanami:

the divine

moves: boss from beyond, what i need, when i need it, smite

gear: five demon bag

mission: the end of days approaches, your role is to guide these hunters and ensure it comes to pass

look: woman, placid eyes, casual clothes

charm -1, cool +1, sharp =0, tough +2, weird +1

history: noel should not be involved in this situation, prophecies didn’t mention her blah blah

Es:

the initiate

moves: mystic, sacred oath (to protect the azure), helping hand

gear: sword, big sword, crossbow

look: woman, strong body, formal clothes

charm -1, cool =0, sharp -1, tough +2, weird +2

good traditions: knowledgeable, magical lore

bad traditions: strict laws

history: ragna is described in prophecies, but his role is unstated

Mai:

the mundane

moves: the power of heart, trust me, what could go wrong?

gear: baseball bat, hockey stick, bike

look: woman, friendly face, sporty clothes(?)

charm +2, cool =0, sharp -1, tough +1, weird +1

history: she and makoto were rivals

Jubei:

the expert

moves: often right, it wasn’t as bad as it looked

haven: armory, infirmary, panic room

gear: silver sword, cold iron sword, blessed knife

look: indeterminate, experienced face, tailored clothes

charm +1, cool -1, sharp +2, tough +1, weird =0

history: ragna was his student/apprentice

bonus

Raquel:

the spell-slinger

combat magic: missile, lightning/entropy, force/wind

moves: advanced arcane training, forensic divination, third eye

gear: heirloom sword

look: girl, stylish clothes, fierce eyes

charm -1, cool =0, sharp +2, tough -1, weird +2

history: rescued naoto

#blazblue #wow this got long #ghost.txt #aus #? i guess

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