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#into the wrong stats even though i try a bit different each time
gremlingirlsmell · 9 months
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wish i didnt have 'playing soulslike games wrong' and 'misassigning all my skill points' syndrome aside from just having a general skill issue in those games, because theyre genuinely super fun games with interesting worlds but they're soooo frustrating when i play them
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evertidings · 9 months
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— AUGUST 2023.
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accomplishments.
uh, so aside from almost dying of heatstroke yesterday (not literally, i'm just dramatic, though i will say i felt faint) i've been good lately. what about you? ahem.
writing's been going. going well, you could say. going horribly wrong in other ways, you could also say. last i updated, i said i had about 35% of the opening branches done. we're at 80% now. whoooooop! i'd estimate maybe about 50% of the chapter is done then? maybe 45%, but i'm trying to be optimistic here. because they're branches and kind of repetitive (it's basically writing similar things in different fonts), you may have seen me vent out my frustrations once or twice. maybe three times. K was the bane of my existence for a bit before the title was given to Rylan, where i could actually feel them mocking me for my writer's block. thankfully, that's over and done with and i only have one left so, fingers crossed i don't start slamming my head against the wall again.
as previously mentioned, the next half of the chapter is much more linear and should (emphasis on should) be easier to write, but as i was just saying on patreon, these things kind of have a life of their own. i say that and then i'll be typing something completely different from what i have planned, making it twenty times more difficult than it should've been. that's just how i do things.
in case you missed it (typing even this makes me giggle), i recently went on an angst fest and posted some super fun, fluffy and heartwarming drabbles for each of the ros. no hurt involved. just a bunch of cutesy things. so so adorable. you can find them here <3
take care of yourselves everyone :))
stats.
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icallhimjoey · 2 years
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Easier In Greece
♥ ♥          Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader 
Summary: Joe's in an interesting stage of life when he's offered an equally interesting project. You whisk him off to Greece and spend eight days together on a boat with high expectations of which none turn out to be true. CW / disclaimer: rpf (don’t read if this makes you uncomfy), fem!reader, brief mention of claustrophobia, dead octopuses, fish touching you, Joe loses those sunglasses - no nvm its all silly shit, you'll be fine
Author’s note: this is so completely out of my comfort zone, and i felt weird all throughout writing it, but i had kind words of @ghostinthebackofyourhead​​ to coach me through - hope you liiiiiike, replies and reblogs are appreciated!
Wordcount: 7.9K
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Again, Joe and love didn’t meet, even though he so desperately had hoped that this had been it. 
The one. 
It very muchly hadn’t been, and in hindsight, he didn’t really know why he’d ever thought it was. 
Now in his late twenties, Joe decided to stop and have look at the stats. Maybe an industry party wasn’t the best location to take time to reflect, but the stunning woman who just shot Joe down forced him into looking inwards for a second. 
What am I doing wrong? Joe thought. 
Unsurprisingly, Joe concluded that the stats weren’t good at all. 
So, just for now, for the foreseeable future, the summer at least, Joe was done with women. Sure, they’d be all shiny and smiley in ads, on Instagram, in films… but those same women would never come over to his flat and just sit on his Ikea sofa with him after a long day’s work. 
Looking back, Joe realised that he’d chosen a tactic that felt oddly similar to what American boxers call dope-a-rope; no matter how hard your competition, or even yourself, tries to get you down, you won’t actually get down until you hit yourself in the face. At least, that’s what Joe thought dope-a-rope meant, anyway. 
Failed first dates, failed second dates, situationships that never turned into relationships, relationships ending over all sorts of different reasons – Joe forgot about them fast, in hopes that he’d know exactly what to do when he’d finally run into her; the one. 
Joe was young still, you know, if you asked anyone older, but he already had enough of all of this bullshit. 
So. Bye, ladies. 
That’s what he decided would be the right plan for him that night. Tell love goodbye. Easy enough to say it aloud, and it was a decision that after four drinks felt totally right, but Joe hadn’t anticipated what it meant to actually try to stick with it. 
He felt a bit like a mad, distraught toddler whose balloon had just popped.
When he saw the head of Olivier Magazine walking up to him, someone he met previously and wouldn’t really consider a friend, but he had some pictures to show that they at least knew each other, he decided to take it all out on him. 
“Matthew,” Joe started when he walked into earshot.
“Joe,” he replied, unaware of Joe’s intentions. “Good to see you, mate. I’m going to call you tomorrow with a real fun project for you.” And then Matthew walked right past him, leaving Joe without words.
The next day, hungover-Joe got the phone call. 
“Joe, it’s Matt, say… you’re a single man, aren’t you?” 
“… yes.”
Then the conversation had taken a surprisingly strange turn. A journalist had a spread in mind for Olivier Magazine with a very specific focus: tour companies for single people who invite ambitious travelers on somewhat of a budget who are looking to meet and connect with like-minded people while exploring new and exciting places along the way. She really wanted to focus on single men. The trip abroad would more so just be the background for it. 
It sounded like an accumulation of every nightmare Joe had ever had. 
“I’m sure you’ll appreciate the break, and we’ll get some fantastic photos taken!” 
Joe listened to Matt’s pitch as he swiftly opened his laptop where he googled the name of the journalist that he’d mentioned. It only took a couple of seconds for Joe to find himself staring at a picture of you. A pretty girl, around his age, smiling at him like those women did in the ads, and on Instagram. 
“You-” Joe interrupted Matt who still was in the middle of talking about how beautiful the Mediterranean Sea was this time of year. “-are not being serious, are you?”
About a week later, Joe got an e-mail from you. “Hey Joe, have you heard? We’re going to go on a trip together.” 
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Day One: London to Athens
Greece was where you were taking Joe. The place where Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love, left her footsteps in the sand. It was precisely the wrong thing to tell Joe upon first meeting him, but you didn’t know, and he also didn’t let on. 
You were looking at an eight-day boat trip with Joe, and you still weren’t sure how you’d gotten Olivier roped in on it. The idea seemed too bold to even be taken seriously at all, but maybe that was exactly why Matthew had decided to go for it. And he knew just the guy for it too.
Had Joe not accepted to go on this trip with you for you to write about single men on trips designed for single people, you probably still would’ve been sat at home, hoping that maybe another magazine would have only even considered listening to you talk about your ideas for original spreads to grace their pages. 
But Joe had accepted, and now you were both on a boat from the organisation One Wave that was a lot smaller than you had expected. The captain of the boat, nicknamed Mr Wave by you, but never when he was around, had told you about the 2500 Greek islands and about the same number of singles that had been on the very boat you’d be staying on. 
You had only just met a couple hours earlier, a quick handshake before boarding the plane in London. There had been some pleasantries e-mailed back and forth to at least try to get some knowledge of who either of you were before venturing out across Europe together, but it had all been quick, shallow words on screens. It was entirely different to be able to look into Joe’s eyes when you spoke to him. 
Joe was charming. 
Maybe not exactly your type, but... something oozed from him that you hadn’t been able to witness through his e-mails.
You were relieved to find out that you weren’t sat together on the flight. There was no need for small talk, or other awkward conversation. And from your seat, you had a pretty good view of him, which was even better. It gave you a chance to scope him out a little, see how he treated the flight attendants, the people he was sat near, what he’d do if the plane was to plummet over France somewhere and crash… all for the article you’d write, of course. 
When Matthew said that Joe Quinn was game for your plans, you’d silently cursed at him. 
An actor? 
A single actor? 
One who was on pretty much every guest list of every award show right now? 
Big ask for him not to be absolutely full of himself. 
But so far, he seemed fine. Normal. Almost a little boring. 
To be able to take off on the boat, you were going to have to find it first. A difficult task on the first night in a country of which neither of you spoke or could even read the language. 
It was dark and the harbour was larger than you thought it’d be. Joe was using the flashlight on his phone to shine at every boat’s name in hopes of accidentally finding the right one within the first few minutes. 
You were surprised that you felt a little responsible for your travel buddy – this whole thing had been your idea, and had you had more time to prepare, you’d have taken Joe to the right boat immediately.
Joe had been gracious enough during your search to offer to carry your bag. He immediately regretted helping out when he felt the weight of it as he threw it over his shoulder, but he didn’t mention it.
Joe was happy you weren’t as shy as he would’ve been in this situation had he been in your shoes. You had no issue asking for the right way a million times, using hands and feet to signal what you were looking for, until you finally pinpointed the correct boat.  
When you finally set foot on board of the boat named Paris – named after a Greek Prince that seduced the beautiful Helena, or kidnapped her, depending on how much of a feminist you were – you met the other travelers. 
Tim, who brought his six-year-old son, which was weird. It made Joe and you look at each other funny, clearly thinking the same thing. 
Dan, a guy from Manchester who kept saying, “Maybe I’m just old-fashioned, but,” before everything he said. 
And Martin, the owner of the boat and thus your captain for the week. 
There were other guests, more of them, who weren’t sat on deck; either already asleep inside, or still on their way over. 
The two of you would obviously also be sleeping on the boat. That led to one of those things Joe hadn’t even fully thought of yet: sleeping arrangements. 
Did you want a small, tiny room with bunkbeds originally designed for two children? Or did you want to sleep in the one double bed left located in the front of the boat?
Joe swallowed hard when he looked at you, the choices echoing in his mind. Stay in a bed, with you? Joe might have bid farewell to love, albeit temporarily, he was still a man.
“Joe?” 
 “It’s your call.” ever the gentleman. 
And after a quick tour and a swift look at the options, it was an easy choice to make. There was no way the bunkbeds were going to fit Joe’s legs.
“We’ll take the double bed.” 
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Day Two: Athens to Epidaurus
The mornings were busy on the boat. Besides the guests you met the night before, you got to meet the other passengers of the Paris. Charlie, Martin’s son Jesse, who happened to also be Charlie’s best friend, and two older lovers, Daisy and Frank. 
It’s entirely not the vibe you thought you’d find on this trip, island hopping in Greece, being amongst travelers on the lookout for other singles to meet and mingle with. There was a child and a couple within your group, and it threw you for a loop. 
This wasn’t exactly what you had in mind for your multiple page opinion piece that would feature stunning photographs (you imagined, they hadn’t been taken yet) of a bronzed Joe Quinn, an open white shirt loosely hung over his shoulders, billowing in the wind on a luxurious yacht, with a deep blue sea and Grecian islands in the background. 
The mental image of it had been so dreamy, but this felt a bit like a weird family trip with a bunch of relatives who had seen you last when you were in diapers still. 
You learned later that the couple was only there because the divorced Frank had already booked the trip before he’d met Daisy through online dating, and he hadn’t been able to get a refund. They were very apologetic about it. What was worse, and not entirely clear to Joe and you just yet, was that Frank and Daisy had immediately taken a liking to the both of you because they thought they weren’t the only couple there.
There were other boats from One Wave, and when you bobbed out of the harbour onto the open sea, you could see that there were at least eight of the same boats, traveling alongside you. There wasn’t enough wind to let the sails down, but that was alright. Slowly hours passed as you passed the islands, sun beaming down, sunscreen thick on your nose and tops of your shoulders. 
As a journalist, you’d decided to use your skills to get Joe talking. 
When you sat down next to Joe on the edge of the boat near the front, legs dangling over, catching splashes of the seawater below, Joe hadn’t expected your approach to have been teaching him an unasked lesson about time and space.
“So, think of this,” you said. “There’s no time. It’s not there, doesn’t exist.” Your facial expression was utterly serious as you rambled about past, present and future all stacked on top of each other. You tried your hardest to get a reaction out of Joe. “Really, the universe just has its way to take care of you, trust me.”
Joe wasn’t convinced. What you’d hoped would’ve happened was that Joe would’ve either outrageously agreed or disagreed with you. It held the opportunity to either dive deep into a philosophic chat or would have the two of you bickering. Either one would’ve given you food for thought for your article. 
What you hadn’t anticipated is where Joe took it. 
Humour. 
After three minutes you had to ban him from making further jokes about it. 
After a full day of getting to know everyone, you all stepped off your boats in Epidaurus around four in the afternoon. Adding all the other boats and their passengers to your group, you ended up in a company of about thirty people.  
The group held more men than women, but to your surprise, there were also women in their thirties who had brought their children along. And over dinner and drinks you learned that Dan, from your boat, also had a son around the same age as Tim’s he had wanted to bring along. It was due to a miscommunication with his ex-wife that that hadn’t happened. 
Joe caught Dan looking at Tim’s boy with sad eyes and had cleared his throat loudly before changing the subject over to Jesse and Charlie, the two lads in their earlier twenties. 
Unbeknownst to you, Joe found himself to have a lot in common with them when they talked about girls, and how they had given up on them for a bit. The chat at your table turned almost therapeutic; everyone shared why they were single, and it was all different, but all complex. 
You didn’t share, and neither did Joe. No one pressed it, which was nice.
And then it dawned on you. 
People go on these trips more so to avoid couples all together. 
To not be surrounded by public displays of affection from lovey-dovey coupled-up friends and family. 
To be on a trip where you’re not the third or fifth wheel amongst them. 
To be in a group of like-minded people and to just hang out together. 
It’s why there were children there too – how lovely must it be to take a trip with other single parents who share the same hardships as you? The whole world suddenly seemed to be catered towards couples only, unfairly so. 
You felt like you discovered a secret treasure not meant for your eyes. Your revelation blew fresh air into your passion project, right there at the dinner table, and you tapped away in your notes app on your phone to capture as much of your trail of thought as you could. 
When you noticed Joe peeking over you shoulder, you shoved him away.
“Are you not meant to be writing about me?” Joe smirked, having caught some of what you were writing down.
“I was.” You said pointedly, closing the app and putting your phone down.
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Day Three: Epidaurus to Poros
For the second time, Joe woke up next to you which ultimately wasn’t as weird as he thought it would have been. 
Should have been. 
You both were very adult about it together. But sometimes a bigger boat would pass, and it’d make your boat dance over larger waves. Not an issue, maybe a little nauseating, but it meant that you’d accidentally touch a lot in the night. You were both level-headed about it though. Definitely well-trained professionals. Joe tried to think of another job where people had to sleep in the same bed, for several nights, in sticky Mediterranean heat after hanging out in swimwear all day. 
Nothing came to mind.
It hadn’t just been the sleeping arrangement that had helped grow the sense of familiarity between the two of you fast. Standing in one of the tiny bathrooms of the boat, you were both brushing your teeth, and Joe wasn’t sure why or how he felt this was a totally normal thing to do, but he’d lean over your shoulder to spit into the sink for which you would then turn the tap on to wash it away.
Professionals.
You started that day with a big sigh. There was a bus excursion planned to a museum in Epidaurus, but you weren’t in the mood for it. 
“I’m not a huge fan of seeing things,” you protested with a shrug. It was a weird hill to die on, entirely made up of lies. You were just moody. “Things are places. I get it.” 
It made Joe remember why he’d sworn off love.  
“So, don’t come then.” Joe tried. 
“No, no,” Another sigh. “I’ll come.” 
Women.
When you got to the museum, Joe didn’t understand how you were still fun to be around when grumpy. He wondered if he was fun to be around, just so that this trip would at least be a little bearable for you, but you hadn’t mentioned anything to Joe about it yet, so he figured he was fine. You seemed the type of person to tell him straight away if he was boring, and he kind of liked that about you. 
Because the old Greeks didn’t have microphones, obviously, the museum you had set foot into was known for its acoustics. Every room had been designed for sound to travel. When Charlie and Jesse had gleefully decided to test it by singing Sweet Caroline, they had your entire group join in within seconds. 
“Hands… touching hands… reaching out… touching me… touching you…”
They became louder and rowdier, dancing now too, arms reaching and touching each other. Smiles grew bigger when no one seemed to stop them. The other tourists there however did not seem very happy with the disruption, and Joe saw you take a few steps away from the group.
“Having fun?” Joe yelled, trying to speak over the echoing voices practically shouting the chorus, half of them adding boisterous ‘so good, so good, so good’ whilst punching the air to fill the short silence in between. Meanwhile Dan had found a table to drum the beat onto as others clapped.
“This is really embarrassing,” you mouthed at Joe, seeing the judgmental eyes from strangers that hurriedly left the room you were in. It only prompted Joe to be more embarrassing as he tried to rope you back into the group with cheesy dance moves and singing in a comically deep voice. 
And you couldn’t actually believe it, but something about the joy that Joe could let shine from his eyes made you give in and join them in their antics. 
After that, things got better. 
Your mood got better. 
Especially when you found a hotel where everyone was allowed a five-minute shower. It was likely to be the last good shower that you would get for the week. 
That afternoon you sailed your way over to Poros, and you were struck by how much every single place you visited looked like it wasn’t real. Too picturesque. As if built for multi-million Hollywood films.  
Poros, Martin told you, had a boulevard, so you could go shopping if you wanted to. Immediately excited, you helped dock the boat, having learnt a thing or two by now. You managed to jump of the boat swiftly, and caught the ropes thrown at you with ease, quickly tying them onto the thick hooks meant for them.
When Joe helped you get back onto the boat, something happened that made him feel for you: your sunglasses fell into the water. Joe watched them slowly sink deeper, and he was touched by how much the two of you were alike. Losing your sunglasses in the water was something so typical for Joe to do.  
“Quick! Get them!” you called out, but Joe looked into the clear water and saw how they were already so close to the bottom. The two of you just watched as they hit the sand. 
“Shit,” you muttered. “Those were such a good pair, too. Now you’ll have to get new ones.”
Hang on a minute, what? 
Confused, Joe reached for the top of his head. 
“Oh.” 
Those sunglasses weren’t yours. 
They were Joe’s. 
Losing sunglasses in the water wasn’t something Joe would do. It’s something he did.
You spent the afternoon walking the boulevard and perching pairs of sunglasses on Joe’s slightly sunburned nose, in search of finding a pair that you both liked on him.
“What about these ones?” Joe asked you and turned his face so you could see. 
You looked up from your phone at him shortly. 
“Those are nice.” 
And to be fair, you liked most of them on Joe, but Joe wasn’t as easy. He was after a pair similar enough to the ones he’d lost and took the job seriously. 
“Listen, I know you’re here to do a job,” Joe placed his hand over your phone and pushed it down slightly. “But right now, your job should be to tell me how beautiful I look in these instead of writing about it.” Joe joked, and it was enough to make you laugh and slide your phone back into your pocket.  
“You look stunning.” 
“Okay, I’ll get them.”
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Day Four: Poros to Vathy
“You’re single because you don’t know how to have a proper argument,” a friend of Joe had told him before he’d gone on this trip. 
Joe had heard so many sentences start with “You’re single because…” but this was a new one. And Joe had agreed. Joe was quick to admit he’d been wrong, even if he hadn’t been, would just listen to complaints and then adapt, giving the other person no pushback. It was just easier that way.
This trip, however, wasn’t the time to practice arguing for the sake of getting better at it and perhaps enhancing his luck in relationships.
On the boat you laughed a lot. 
The way you’d envisioned all of you to be a weird make-shift family had kind of become reality in the best sense of the word. You had revealed to be a journalist who was merely on the trip to write about it, and it had intrigued everyone. 
Charlie and Jesse had immediately come up with pseudonyms for themselves: Charlie would be Jesse, and Jesse would be Charlie. It was such a stupid joke; it had left you giggling just thinking of it hours later. 
Joe had then also told them that he was there as your subject, which made it sound as if you held full power over him. You realised then that you sort of did and wondered if that was how Joe had felt the whole time you’d been around each other. You hoped he hadn’t, knowing it would be so much nicer if Joe would just be fully himself without also keeping busy doing guesswork as to what you’d write about him later. Plus, you’d kind of grown fond of the Joe you had gotten to know, so imagining him not being fully himself stung a little.
Once you got off the boat and stepped into Vathy, your legs felt wobbly stepping onto land. “Sea legs,” you said when grabbing hold of the closest thing to you to find your balance. 
“Here.” 
The closest thing had been Joe, and he held out his arm for you to link yours through for your walk. 
More of your company felt their legs had to get used to being on steady ground again, and Martin had given you the advice to go for a run around the island. It would get jitters out, but more importantly pump oxygen into your muscles which would prevent funny legs later in the trip. 
The sun was high in the sky, and Joe really didn’t want to work out, but after lunch you managed to talk him into it by challenging his ego. He threw it right back at you; there was no way you would be able to keep up with him, that’s obviously why he hadn’t wanted to go running with you at first, but if you really insisted on learning how slow you really were, you were Joe’s guest. 
Joe mentally took back every joke he made when he later saw you fighting up a hill in the blearing heat of the late afternoon. 
On your run together through winding, sandy lanes you were stopped twice by sheep and cows crossing the street. It was almost ridiculous how cliché it all felt, but Vathy really was more beautiful than you’d seen online. On your left you were looking down at the sea where the light was dancing on the waves like liquid diamonds. 
Far from the harbour, more out to open sea, a dozen or so shapes bobbed up and down on the water, and with their shiny black bodies, they could easily be mistaken for seals. But if you looked closer, you’d see they were surfers waiting, watching for their next wave. 
You had pointed them out to Joe, but secretly, Joe only had eyes for you. 
Maybe it was just the air up there, Joe hoped, but you were so pretty like this. 
Sweaty cheeks, lips flushed, chest heaving. 
Joe didn’t mind you taking the lead, running two, three steps ahead, turning into side roads and deciding which way to go. It gave him all the more opportunity to look at you.
When you stopped for some water, body pumping with endorphins, you noticed how Joe’s white T-shirt was drenched in his sweat, its white fabric now translucent enough for you to see his nipples through. 
Seeing them like this was inherently funnier than seeing them when Joe would be topless, swimming, diving off the boat and climbing back on only to dive off again. 
You smiled through heavy pants and after screwing the top back onto your water bottle, you used a finger to poke him right in one of his nipples before scurrying off, continuing your run.
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Day Five: Vathy to Perdika 
Today you were harshly reminded you were on a business trip instead of a family holiday when you were called by Olivier Magazine. There was only just enough reception for you to take the call and talk through the material you had so far.  
You’d snuck into the bedroom for it, so others wouldn’t hear, but you’d forgotten the hatch window in the ceiling that opened to the deck where Joe was laid out to sunbathe. 
“Not yet, I don’t want it too forced, you know? I’ll have to sneak a few,” 
“I could just use my phone,”
“Yea, I have it, it’s just huge,” 
“Not really… but, yea, no, okay,”
“Okay, I will.”
Joe didn’t like how you sounded defeated as you ended the call, but moved over quickly, away from the hatch window. 
When you stepped out in a shy-making short dress, carrying a big camera, Joe understood you’d been given an awkward task. It was absolutely impossible to sneak pictures of him with that, so he decided he’d help out. 
“Ooh, give that to me!” he held out a hand from all the way across the boat, encouraging you to make your way over and hand him the camera. Joe took it like a child would take a toy, turned it on and immediately started playing with settings, taking test shots of his feet dangling over the edge. 
You internally sighed with relief and thought of what else your writing should include. Joe’s helpful demeanour, for sure. 
You let Joe play with the camera, warning him not to drop it from the boat like he had done his sunglasses, forcing him to wear the strap around his neck at all times, and you made your way back into the cabin. 
It was time to get some words out, from your phone and from your brain onto your laptop and hopefully in a coherent enough manner to get some of it over to Olivier for feedback. 
So, you sat down opposite the kitchen and organised everything you needed. 
You could hear people laugh up on the deck, and you imagined them posing for photos Joe was taking of them. It took some pressure off, knowing Joe had fun without you meant you could just sit inside for a bit to get work done.  
It had been over two hours when you heard the camera’s shutter a lot closer to you than you felt was possible with you being the only one inside. You looked up from your laptop to see a hand holding it stuck through a hatch window in the ceiling, lens pointing at you. You smiled but said you’d delete that later. It was met with loud groans from the deck, followed by Daisy who told the boys to leave you alone.  Another 45 minutes passed.
“Jesse, you’re lowering the anchor in three minutes!” Martin called out as he stepped down the ladder into the cabin. 
“Have you ever snorkelled before?” he asked you as he reached for a cabinet, revealing a pile of different kinds of goggles inside.
You didn’t think you’d ever felt more claustrophobic in your life, breathing through a tube with your face down under the water. The fact that the water was clear enough for you to see how deep it was really didn’t help. 
And even though very pretty, fish would get very close to you and you didn’t want to touch them. 
“Come here,” Joe swam over when you’d sputtered and coughed again as you attempted another go at it. 
“You know how to float on your back, right? It’s the same, but face down.” 
And Joe’s hands guided your body as his legs kicked underneath him to keep himself above water. He placed one hand on your stomach that pushed up slightly. 
“That's it.” 
His other hand was for you to grip onto, because panic hadn’t left your system yet and Joe held onto it until you’d gotten the hang of it. 
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Day Six: Perdika to Korfos
Joe was sixteen when for the first time something happened in his life that was love-related. He was sitting on a bench and had been inches away from kissing a girl. He could still see himself sitting there, but strangely enough he really couldn’t remember for the life of him if he got to actually kiss her that afternoon, or not. 
It was a thought that was wrecking his brain whilst laying out to tan on the Paris. 
You were next to him, and you were reading – or at least, holding onto a book, but away from everyone else, you fell into easy conversation together. 
Joe talked about the girl on the bench when he’d been sixteen. 
Your chats had been borderline forgettable on day one, but nearing in on a week later, your chats had gotten deeper, and Joe fed you information for your piece. 
You wondered if you should mention that nothing was off the record with you as Joe’s chats got more private, but you didn’t want to ruin the moment and shut him up. 
Joe talked about the women from the ads, Instagram and films and how none of them ever found themselves sat in his living room. How he’d been shot down as he had tried to flirt with someone at an industry party where he’d ran into Matthew. 
You were at that party too, but you refrained from telling Joe. 
You hadn’t seen him, but it stung a little that he’d been there and had been willing to flirt with strangers. You could’ve been one of them. You remembered Matthew telling you that night that he had green-lit your pitch, and you’d gotten plastered. 
Who knows what would’ve happened had actually ran into him that night.
To break the tension a little, Joe pointed a passing boat. 
“Look,” he said. “That’s what I think–” and then Joe looked at you before sarcastically adding a side comment, “way, way, after you of course,” you raised your eyebrows and looked in the direction of Joe’s pointing finger. “– is a pretty lady.”
“Are you joking?” you couldn’t help but chuckle. 
It was entirely too predictable. 
Joe’d pointed out a gorgeous blonde girl who couldn’t have been older than 20 at most, wearing a bright pink shimmery bikini with a huge sunhat that shaded her face perched on top of her head. 
Of course he thought she was beautiful; she was textbook pretty.
“If that’s your type I want to formerly apologise for you not having met any on this trip.” 
You turned over onto your stomach, letting the sunbeams dance along your back to even out your tan. 
“Dolphins!” Martin suddenly shouted, making Joe eat whatever his reaction to your comment was going to be. 
You both sat up immediately and saw them shooting over the water. It was a perfect image: the calm blue sea, green mountains from the islands you were passing and the stretched out blue sky with dolphins playing along the side of your boat. 
It felt like a fairy tale, and you were lucky someone handed you your camera in time for you to capture it. 
Sailing led you to a new island and a new village. 
Korfos was a place so small, there wasn't even ATMs there, and Martin only knew of one restaurant for you to go to. There you were greeted by something you’d never seen before in your life. Outside, bordering the seating area where you all sat down, there was a tight twine bound between two trees that was filled with hanging octopuses, drying out in the sun side by side. You learned it was a traditional way of preparing them, but that didn’t take away your slight alarm at the sight. 
At dinner Martin told old sailing stories, you pointed at blonde girls for Joe which you found a lot funnier than he did, and Dan got drunk. When he, at the end of dinner, helped two young children buy ice cream, he looked back at your table and shouted, “Just like old times! Kids, man, they’re the best thing that can happen to you!” And no one poked fun or told him to calm down. The sheer acceptance felt ‘round the table could’ve make you cry.
When back on the boat, all tucked into bed, Dan was still drunk. 
“Ay, ay captain!” he kept yelling from his bed, and the both of you were doing a bad job stifling your laughter. It had you rolling into each other in between the sheets. 
“Hey,” Dan yelled, and the both of you froze in anticipation of what as going to be coming next, big eyes looking into each other’s. 
“I might be old-fashioned,” his catchphrase made laughter escape Joe’s throat loudly. 
“But don’t put me on the cover of your magazine, alright?” 
You could go into detail of why what he just said was wrong, because you didn’t yield that power, the magazine wasn’t yours, and he was just Dan from Manchester, a single dude who missed his son. Why would he be on the cover of Olivier Magazine? 
But obviously, you didn’t do that.
“Okay, Dan, I promise.”
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Day Seven: Korfos to Athens
You had been woken up by Joe carefully peeling your arm off of his chest and sliding away from your embrace. 
It was almost painful when you realised what he was doing, and the gentleness of his fingers that tried their best not to wake you made it worse. 
Your arm must have snuck its way over in the night, and you hadn’t been aware, but it left you embarrassed enough to avoid Joe’s eyes during breakfast.
While the day had started with a beautiful sea for all of you to dip into before setting of back to Athens, it wasn’t your day. Which was a shame for your last full day in Greece. 
You thought it might have been the looming end of your trip, or the pressure of finishing up writing that you really should have done so much more of. But you kept mulling over the fact that Joe had moved you away from him in bed that morning, and ultimately, that was what had affected you the most.
At noon, when there was time to walk into Athens and have some fun, Joe pressured you to join him, which you felt you couldn’t. 
Also, he couldn’t, because you needed photographs of Joe on a boat with an opened white shirt that billowed behind him in the wind, like you’d envisioned when you booked this trip for the two of you. 
But you weren’t going to ask him to pose for you, because you felt dumb for having to do so. 
And Joe’s chest was peeling because he hadn’t been using sunscreen properly. 
None of it was right.
Suddenly, you were fighting. And as friendly and professional you’d been all throughout the week, so mean were you towards each other now. You were all biting remarks, scratchy words, and angry tones.
“You can’t not come, it’s our last full day!” Joe had roped Dan and Martin in on it too. Three against one, entirely unfair, especially after his rejection of you that morning because that's what it had become in your mind.
“Wanker,” you muttered before shutting the flimsy door to your bedroom and shutting him out. Joe thought you were being absolutely ridiculous, but it really pissed him off when you shouted, “Yes, I’m a horrible person!” putting words in his mouth.
“God, you’re not a bad person! I never said that!”
You were still hissing at each other when you joined Dan and Martin, piling into a taxi together to go and climb the Acropolis of Athens. Martin had managed to talk you into it and you’d angrily given in. When Joe looked surprised, and offered to help you get off the boat, you’d refused and had taken a big jump. 
Joe pretended he hadn’t seen you almost fall over and scrape up your knees. 
The climb to the top had been a silent one. Dan would stop to take photographs with your camera, and you were glad the task of capturing Joe was in someone else’s hands. 
At the top of the Acropolis, you thought to yourself that more than only the Parthenon had been damaged. 
And for what? 
Stress over work? 
From up here, you looked down behind you and felt silly at the problems you’d created for yourself down there. 
Dan passed you your camera, and you caught Joe looking over at you.
“Do you still like me?” Joe asked when he started growing doubtful if your friendship was still mendable, to at least finish the trip nicely. 
“No,” you answered, but you smiled. 
The sun within you had risen. “Can I take your picture?” you asked, the source of the initial problem now out of you.
“Of course, go ahead.” 
Back from all the ruins, you put Dan and Martin in a taxi back to the harbour and decided to go for dinner and drinks in Athens. To see what the night life was like here. 
“And we’ll see if we can find you a nice blonde girl!” 
You laughed at the fact that what you had originally thought this whole trip was going to be, the great purpose of going on a trip designed for single people, got boiled down to this last evening on the last day of the full thing.  
But first, there was dinner.
You found a cosy little restaurant tucked away in an alley and Joe knew that the connection he felt to you then was much stronger than before because of the fight you’d had earlier. 
“They all thought we were a couple, hey?” Joe said, speaking truths that had been left unspoken up until then. 
“Yea,” you nodded. “Made me feel a little proud on our first day here,” you confessed, and you saw Joe bite the inside of his cheek.
Joe thought that was the nicest thing you’d said to him, and it was going to be weird that he wasn’t going to be seeing you anymore in two days. Because you weren’t his, he knew that. It felt a little like, how the classic Paris had kidnapped Helena, Joe had kidnapped you for a week. 
“You know,” you started. “You don’t have to be so mythical about women. Really, it’s all way easier than you think. Sometimes just ‘are you free tonight’ is enough if it’s the right one.” 
Were you flirting? 
“Easier, huh? I’ll try and remember that. Can I tell you something crazy?” 
“Sure,” you had your doubts about how crazy whatever Joe was going to tell you was going to be. 
The Joe you had gotten to know wasn’t crazy at all. He was kind, soft, funny, and caring. 
You’d formed a weird friendship, where sometimes you’d catch him staring at you and he’d look away quickly. 
The boundaries you had initially felt between the two of you that served its purpose for you as a journalist to keep at least a little distance had been completely shattered on that first night in bed together. 
“When I agreed to do this trip with you, it was only because I’d sworn of women.” Joe started, not making the best case for himself. 
“Interesting, is it men now?” you joked, before pointedly adding, “Everything’s on the record here, choose your words wisely.” which made Joe laugh.
“I’m sure you have those moments where you’re just exhausted with the whole premise of dating, right? Especially in London.” Joe relayed it back to you, which was smart. It instantly meant that if you were going to answer, you wouldn’t want to include it in your piece. 
So, you shrugged in a non-answer. 
“I made a pact with myself that, for at least the summer, I wouldn’t try to chase it.” 
“Chase what?” 
“Love.” 
You froze for a second and looked up at Joe. 
“And how’s that gone so far?” 
The air felt charged and you could see the straight path you wanted Joe to walk right towards you, but with every word Joe’d say, there was the possibility that he’d stray off of it. 
Every next word out of Joe’s mouth was either going to be terrible or magnificent.  
“Oh, it was so effortless for the first few days.” Of your trip, Joe meant. “You’ve seen our group.” Joe then stated, and you laughed. 
“We’re not exactly surrounded by temptation, are we?” 
A silence lingered, and you tried to imagine what Joe was thinking. Did he disagree? Were you temptation? Had Joe not removed your arm from his body because he felt disgusted by it, but because it would open doors he didn’t feel he could open? Should open? Or, had he been just hot and uncomfortable under your sticky limb? You just realised that had been an option too.
“I didn’t think I’d have so much fun on this tip, though. I think I’ve come to love all of you a bit.” Joe then smiled, and you copied it. 
Yes, he was right. 
Tim and his kid had become your somewhat distant uncle who relished in teaching his son how to play sudoku. 
Dan was the drunk uncle who had so much weight on his shoulders, it had turned him funny. 
Martin was the father, and not just because Jesse would call him dad all the time. 
Jesse and Charlie were your younger brothers, maybe even twin brothers, who were annoying sometimes but hilarious always. 
Frank and Daisy felt like grandparents, even though technically they weren’t old enough unless a string of teen pregnancies tied you together. 
You weren’t sure who you and Joe were in this family, or what you were to each other for that matter.
“Me too,” you said. “It’s going to be a weird couple of pages in Olivier next month.” 
 “Yea?” 
“It’ll have your face on, I’m sure it’ll do good, but it’s absolutely not what I expected it was going to be beforehand.” 
Joe just looked at you. 
“Which is probably good, if I had found exactly what I thought I was going to find, I might as well not have gone.” 
“What did you find?” Joe pressed.
“Ah, you’ll have to read that in the magazine like everybody else next month, I’m afraid.” You teased. 
And so, he did. Joe’s management had received a copy of the magazine about 4 days before its release date. 
Summer was over, and the autumn issues were about to come out. It graced Joe on the cover, sat on the side of the boat, legs dangling over the side, arms and head resting on the metal bar that prevented him from falling into the water. 
You could see his peeling chest and his sunburnt nose, and with the sun shining bright, Joe hadn’t opted to slide the sunglasses from his hair, but instead he had shut one eye and squinted at the camera with a smile. It was very boyfriend of him, entirely too dreamy not to have been chosen as the cover shot. You hadn’t taken it, and it had cost you precious company time to figure out who did, feeling like proper credits were in order. 
It had left you with contact details to every single person you’d gotten to know on your trip, and you’d promised yourself you’d share all of it with Joe once the magazine would be out and you’d have a reason to e-mail him. 
You’d managed to get twelve pages in. Twelve! It was double the amount you’d ever gotten in a magazine before. It was nine pages of photographs, and three pages of writing. You were nervous of what Joe was going to think of it, not even knowing if he was ever really going to read it. 
Joe did read it, though. 
Turning pages of photos, he was sad there hadn’t been any of you in them. 
Some of the others had made it in; there was a smaller picture of Joe, Charlie and Jesse as they posed near the bow of the boat as if they were Greek Gods; a photo Daisy had taken of them. Martin was there too, sat behind the boat wheel wearing a captain’s hat that you hadn’t seen him wear for the full trip. 
Joe was surprised by how much he missed it all; it truly felt like he was flipping through a family photo album and his chest filled with nostalgia. 
“Got a copy. Need to call you. I don’t have your number, and Matthew won’t give it because he says I’ve got your e-mail.” 
Joe sent an e-mail and had to wait entirely too long for you to reply to it. 
“What a way to induce an anxiety attack on a Tuesday afternoon.” You’d e-mailed back, followed by your phone number. 
It only took seconds for Joe to call.
“Sorry, no need to panic!” were the first words out of his mouth before you’d even gotten the chance to say hi.  
“Bad choice of words on my part, sorry, but I’m looking at Olivier now and, I know it’s probably not customary to ring the writer with some feedback, but... it’s beautiful.” he followed. 
“Hi,” you grinned as you got the word in.
“Hi,” Joe replied, sighing a laugh. 
“I’m glad you like it.” 
“You’re not in it.” Joe meant with a picture. He’d taken many of you, so he knew there’d been options for you to try.
“I am. Just in the words.”
“I like that you got some of the others in. Have they seen it yet?” 
“No, but they will. I’ve gotten my hands on everyone’s details.”
“Is it weird that I miss them?” 
“It’s not,” you laughed. “I miss them too. Especially Dan.”
“Especially Dan.” Joe agreed. 
“So, summer’s over.” Joe closed the magazine and looked at his own face on the cover of it. 
“It is.” You confirmed, unsure where Joe was going.
“I erm… I took your advice on not being so mythical about women.” 
“Oh, good!” you were genuinely happy for Joe, and thought that maybe he was going to say how your trip had fixed him and he had now found the one woman who did look like the women do in ads that would also sit on his sofa in his flat with him. 
“Are you free for dinner tonight?”
Oh.
“I- …. Yes. I am.” 
---
The Taglisted: @kiwisa @jasminearondottir @josephquinned @cancankiki @sidthedollface2 @dylanmunson @munsonsgirl71 @alana4610 @emmamooney @xomunson @sadbitchfangirl @jssmth5 @bagelofthelord67 @nobody-000 @lluviamg06 @thatonefan-girl @kylakins88 @paola-carter @eddiemunsonfuxks​ - add yourself  
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charmsandtealeaves · 4 months
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How do you get people to read your fics?
Hi anon! 
Good question, which requires a little interpretation on my part to answer but I’ll give it my best shot from my personal experience. 
So first I’m gonna make some assumptions that may be right or wrong:
You’ve started writing in your fandom space.
You’ve got a figure in mind for comments/kudos/interactions of some sort
Those numbers aren’t adding up with your expectations and you’re feeling a bit disheartened by it.
Does that sound about right? Well, in my experience there are a lot of things that play into those factors:
People these days tend to give likes/kudos rather than comments/reblogs
If you’re using Tumblr: when you post compared to the timezone of most of your followers/readers can influence how quickly things get picked up.
Some people prefer reading complete fics over WIPs (when in my opinion reading along with WIPs is half the fun)
People have TBR lists a mile long because life gets in the way (hello that’s me) and so maybe your fic is sitting in one of those.
Anyway, let’s try and answer your original question: how to get people to read your fics. 
I’m assuming you have Tumblr? which is a good place to start. The AO3 filtering system can be a little counterintuitive so I know a lot of people get their fics here rather than the search function.
Firstly, are you personally also reading and engaging with other peoples works? Because otherwise you’re probably just shouting to the void and not getting any sort of echo. Fandom is a community space, and we help and feed each other. If you’re only ever expecting stuff for your own work but never doing the same for the content you enjoy… you’re not gonna be having a fun time.
Secondly, timezone reblogs are your friend. Admittedly I’ve never really worked this one out properly. But my timezone is whack and a lot of my followers are in the States/Europe. The point is don’t be afraid to reblog your own post at different times. It increases the chance of someone seeing it.
Personally, I like adding banners to fic posts. A.) because they’re fun to make (and procrastinate writing) and B.) they draw the eye better than a solid wall of text if someone is just having a little scroll.
And now here’s a big one: tag your posts with what’s actually in your story/post. Don’t use every ship and character tag under the sun. That’s not how the tag system works on Tumblr, and by doing that you’re more likely to hide your work rather than elevate it. People block tags to cultivate their online space, and you will annoy people tagging things not actually present.
Okay now I’m gonna offer you a little advice that is probably gonna have you frustrated and rolling your eyes at me but it’s kinda important so hear me out for a second:
Stop comparing yourself to others so much (especially the ones who’ve been around in fandom for decades) and just have fun with it for yourself. <- easier said than done.
I’m guessing you came and gave me this ask because you perceive me as someone who already gets a lot of attention for fics. But the thing is… I still feel quite new to this even though I’ve been doing it for a couple of years now. And I do compare myself… to my past self. You might have noticed the post currently pinned to my blog is a year-in-review post that contains AO3 stats. I started doing it for myself to see how far I’ve come in the space of a year, but also it helpfully offers the ability for others to do the same. 
So let’s focus on one thing: all of those stats increased (quite significantly) from last year to the previous. But let’s break down what else happened over the course of that year that might explain WHY:
I was also starting to read a lot more.
I’d started to make some good friends in fandom. Which also meant I trusted people enough to start beta/cheer-reading my works before posting.
I started the whole jilymicros setup (the blog, prompts lists, discord, events etc.)
I did a whole heap of challenges and events.
I was starting to feel more comfortable and welcome in fandom space in general. 
Those things all heavily influenced the quality of my writing and the size of my audience. A lot of my followers are because I admin those spaces according to a few ‘why are you following me’ ask games. Taking part in events (like those run by jilychallenge, jilytoberfest, or Ladies of HP, to name a few I do) allows you to get out of your comfort zone, try new things, and get your work out there to a wider audience following those spaces. I honestly can’t recommend doing them more. So my advice to you anon really is this:
If you're gonna compare to anybody, compare yourself to yourself.
Engage with others and their works.
Challenge yourself, try new things.
Have fun with it and find out what style works best for you - if you’re not having fun there’s no point doing it. Some of the best fics are the ridiculously self-indulgent.
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crapmagak · 2 years
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Engage Drip Marketing: Yunaka
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This one’s a day late. Wanted to get some personal writing finished first.
I figured we’d get the remaining royals first, but instead it seems like we’re getting Yunaka first. In terms of design, I’m kind of dispassionate. Like, I’m used to the overall style of engage characters, so she seems like nothing new. And as dumb as they are, side waist windows is such a niche design choice that I appreciate the novelty. Also, oh look, a short girl that doesn’t look like a baby, mostly thanks to booba. I do unironically like that shade of red/ purple they used for her hair though.
Now, for the intro tweet…
Yunaka is a strange girl you meet during your travels. She's bright and active, and gets along easily even with people she's just met thanks to her good vibes.
And the Cutscene tweet…
Yunaka is trying to find something she dropped. Maybe these two nice people will help her.
Yunaka: "How could I mess up like this..."
Alfred: "You there."
Yunaka: "Huh?"
Alfred: "What are you doing crying in a place like this? Is something wrong?"
Yunaka: "...Yi-"
Alear: "You must be in shock. Sorry for suddenly talkin-"
Yunaka: "Yipee! Help is here!"
So, at first glance, she seems to be your typical cute and plucky thief girl. Considering the cutscene takes place at night, I think we’ll end up recruiting her after the night village map. The presence of Alfred makes me confident of this. 
Of course, the juicier stuff is shown off in the crit clip…
Yunaka's starting class is Thief. Good at picking locks and dazzling enemies with swift moves. Uses daggers, capable of poisoning enemies with them.
Not gonna lie. When Yunaka’s voice went deep and cold for her crit quip, she shot up from a 4/10 to a 9/10. Also, the gold plating on her legs looks dope. If Yunaka turns out to be like a gremlin version of Charlotte from Fates, she may end up being one of my faves. 
As for the clip itself, it takes place in the ruins chapter, so nothing new here. However, another tweet I don’t feel like copy and pasting did shine some light on how daggers will function. Not only are they 2 ranged, but they inflict the poison status, which works differently, again… 
So in old dames, poison worked like in more typical jrpg’s, dealing a little bit of damage and wearing off in a couple turns. This meant it was about as dangerous as a gnat when integrated into Fire Emblem gameplay. In fates, it shaved off 10% of your health after combat. That doesn’t seem like much, but if you weren’t careful it could fuck you up fast. Especially if a unit was surrounded by multiple enemies that could inflict it.
In Engage, poison seems to be a stackable defense debuff, and one that doesn’t go away on its own. Since we don’t exactly see how much your defense is affected, I can’t really say what my thoughts are. This could be op/ frustrating, or this could be largely irrelevant. Only time will tell.
Honestly, though, I feel like status effects just don’t work in Fire Emblem. Even in typical jrpg’s status effects are hard to do right. If they aren’t punishing enough, they might as well not even be there. If they’re too punishing, they feel unfair and unfun. And a lot of them limit or take away your control in some way. And in Fire Emblem, where so much happens each turn, where merely one or two rounds of combat can mean life or death, where the mere act of position of unit affects so much, any act of taking the players control away can put them in unfair positions. Easier to manage and understand stat changes could make this work though, as long as it’s easier for the player to know what those changes will be ahead of time.
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manonamora-if-reviews · 8 months
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The Finders Commission by Deborah Sherwood
============= Links
Play the game (IFComp) See other reviews of the game
============= Synopsis
You've been hired to recover a priceless Egyptian artifact from a traveling antique show. Security is tight and the officer in charge has a history with you. Explore the show, find the artifact, avoid the officers and snatch the prize before some one else does. Oh, and you might fall in love along the way. Includes game stats and gender choices.
============= Other Info
The Finders Commission is a Twine(SugarCube) game, submitted to the 2023 edition of the IFComp
Status: Completed Genre: Heist
CW: /
============= Playthrough
Played: 15-Oct-2023 Playtime: about 1h+ (92/100 score) Rating: - [IFComp vote] Thoughts: Running around like a mad man
============= Review
The Finders Commission is a relatively short game, set as some sort of escape-room-puzzle piece where you are tasked to retrieve an artifact from an exposition, in broad daylight. There are 5 characters to choose from (though I am not sure whether they influenced the gameplay) and a handful of different puzzles to interact with. There are two endings: you retrieve the item or are caught trying. I reached the score of 92/100 after a restart.
Spoilers ahead. It is recommended to play the game first. The review is based on my understanding/reading of the story.
TFC takes the campy traits of heist story, with the strange buyer requiring your help*, the security officer that has a tooth against you, the maybe-naive damsel/himbo that slip out important information, and the sneaky exit... The puzzles are diverse and interconnected, some requiring manipulation of an object, others to find a specific object to interact with another, and some to distract NPCs to enter new rooms. And there's a maze-like feel to the main location. *I don't know whether it was a jab at like the British Museum losing artefacts recently or not wanting to give some back, but the thought of it being the case was funny :P
I played the game twice essentially, one where I felt completely lost, interacting with anything I could, solving puzzles a bit at random, and hoping for the best... and finding myself stuck, unable to find a way into a certain room to get the item to unlock the case with the artefact. Turns out, you have to interact not just with objects around you, but with NPCs (which I thought was a bit weird, you don't really want attention on you). So the second time around was easier... Though I still found myself running around the place, even after getting the map*. *would have been nice to find a map at the start, with more indication of displayed elements on it. It's a gallery after all... and it's a bit hidden within the satchel, I would have put it in the sidebar imo. Or the rooms each have a name, like with parsers.
It was a bit bizarre to not be able to examine the case until you open it (a nice description of the item could add to the vibe, maybe staying too long would have the security guard be extra suspicious of you), or even examine anything that wasn't puzzle-related object (as a way to "blend" with the other visitors). Also a bit of a shame not to be able to interact with your rival or find a way to have them getting caught (they were really sus), or with the guard (I'm a sucker for taunting your "enemies" even if it would lead to a bad ending), or even further with the tour guide (I was promised romance ;-;*). I was a bit confused too with the need to include other locations, since you don't really have anything you can do there (unless it's the locations for future episode?). *since the subtitle was Episode 1, maybe they'll be back in the next episode?
TFC is the kind of puzzle game that when you get it, it's smooth as butter... but if you struggle finding things or examine something at the wrong time or don't follow the steps as intended, it can become quite frustrating. With a bit more tweaks here and there, it could make for a well-rounded game.
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So, I'm gonna rant about ads for a bit.
Not really rant, I guess, since it's not really out of anger. It's more just gonna be a long analysis of why I think (a certain category of) mobile game ads suck.
It's probably gonna be a bit long, so you've been warned :P
In particular, this is about "real-time strategy MMOs" (such as Rise of Kingdoms, Forge of Empires, etc.) and "gacha RPGs" (such as Dislyte, that one about ants, etc.).
I'm gonna start with the MMOs
Ads for the MMO-esque games usually open with presenting someone who's being accused of playing the wrong way by another player, usually because they made some sort of "wrong" choice. This seems to be true at first, but sooner or later the person who was "wrong" suddenly doing way better than the other player. The other player expresses confusion, and the "wrong" player proceeds to give a long-winded explanation about stats and strategy that gave them an inherent advantage.
The issue here is that it presents a correct way to play in a game that's simultaneously trying to advertise that you can play any way you want. These games usually present that there's different fantasy races to play, different resources to focus on, different regions to play in, etc. But then it turns around and says "If you don't play as elves and spend the first 30 hours of playing exclusively farming in the desert, you're gonna be worse off."
And since nearly every ad is like this, you're often presented with conflicting information on the best way to get good. While I'm sure this is meant to be a sort of "you can play anyway you want!" type of thing, it also does kinda feel like it's saying "no matter what, you're probably doing some part of it wrong." Especially because sometimes I swear the ads tend to lean towards presenting certain strats as always wrong and others as always good.
For instance, I'm 90% sure I've seen significantly more ads for these types of games that present elves as the right choice than any other race, but I don't think I've ever seen one that presents orcs as anything but the worst choice.
Moving onto the RPGS
For the "RPGs," it usually presents two or three people who your meant to infer have all played the game for roughly the same amount of time and gave equal effort. But then one of the players suddenly reveals that they're doing far better than the others. When asked how, they give some explanation that's usually a combo of good luck and using a code presented in the ad.
(admittedly, this script is also applicable to MMOs sometimes, but it's more common in the gachas and RPGs)
At a basic level, this pretty much runs into the same issues as before. It presents a correct way to play in a game that mostly seems to want to promote being playable however you want.
However, these ones are worse, since the way to win is usually presented as a free-stuff code within the ad. The intention, I assume, is to present new players with a way to avoid falling behind. However, this pretty much just means anyone who got the game before had put in the effort they had for nothing.
And, since each ad new ad needs to help new players catch up even more, every code presents an even better incentive to join. So, at some point, it becomes clear that the longer you wait, the easier the start will be.
Though, sometimes it doesn't present a code. Which is good! But the alternative usually is them presenting something that's blatantly just luck as a "strategy." They'll say something like "The first character I got was a five-star so-and-so" and move on like that was a choice they made and not a luck-of-the-draw thing that boosted them.
But yeah, all-in-all, presenting the "correct" way to play, let alone one that requires a code or blatant good luck, is not the right way to advertise a game, in my humble opinion.
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justfivestar · 2 years
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The falconeer switch review
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#The falconeer switch review upgrade
#The falconeer switch review download
Using these abilities consumes stamina though, and with a very limited supply you do have to be somewhat conservative, especially in larger encounters. You can roll and boost with your Falcon, this being useful for avoiding fire, and running away from or even chasing your enemies. You’re always on the cusp of discovering something and then you move forward to make a start with a different character somewhere else on the map.įlying and combat in The Falconeer is simplistic in its design, but it’s dynamic enough that you can play around a bit and enjoy some tense encounters. While initially disappointed that you didn’t progress as the same character, making your own choices and allegiances, the way the chapters progress allows for an intriguing narrative design. With each chapter you play as a character from a different faction, seeing their side of events as the narrative progresses. Some of these factions get on with each other, but there is an ever present conflict and suspicion that ultimately keeps them all apart. The Falconeer is set in an ocean world called Ursee, which is home to a number of factions residing on scattered bits of land and rock. The world itself is fairly small, though for the pace of the game it isn’t insignificant. From here you can choose to get stuck in to the story, try your hand at a side mission to get some money and experience (or ‘splinters’) or just take off and fly around the world to see what it has to offer. At the beginning of each chapter, you start at your faction’s home base from which you can accept main missions and some side missions, and also access a store to kit out your bird. At the beginning of each new chapter you will choose a new character, however will carry over items and your overall level from the previous ones, including map progression such as how many places you’ve discovered, etc.Ĭharacter classes simply affect the stats you start out with, for example you can have a Falconeer that has more health but less speed, and vice versa, though you can modify and increase your stats in-game as well. Though maintaining a small open world, progression favors a chapter format, with a handful of missions in each to complete in order. You will realise very quickly that The Falconeer plays out in a much more linear fashion than you might have previously expected. You play as a character of your choosing from a very limited selection of appearances, names and classes. Pre-release marketing boasted of exploration, friendly and non-friendly factions, and exciting fantastical aerial combat, but while some of this remains true or at least impresses in its own way, The Falconeer turned out to not be 100% genuine. Not just because it presents as being a semi-open world flight combat game with factions and light RPG elements, but also because of its attempts to create a lore riddled and atmospheric world. I didn’t like that, I was hoping for a check point but redoing it was tough as some missions can be long.The Falconeer, for a small title, is an ambitious sounding game. When I died while doing missions, I had to start all over again.There are so many new features that you can use for upgrades that its nuts! Dig it hard! I love to upgrade! I love to see what else is out there to customize the features in the game.
#The falconeer switch review upgrade
You can also upgrade your birds throughout the game and I’m digging that! This is pretty damn fun! The controls are so smooth and easy to use. I thought it wouldn’t be fun but I was way wrong.
Ok, I have to admit I was skeptical on controlling flying animals in the game.
I can feel like I can taste the air whenever I’m flying.
The game world is so damn beautiful! I was shocked on how well the animators and designers did on creating a life like world.
It was time to play the game and of course have some fun! I took my popcorn bowl out filled with of course pop corn and had my vitamin water filled with ice.
#The falconeer switch review download
I was able to download this game pretty fast on my Nintendo Switch. Well today, I’m here saying this is one of my favorite games on the Nintendo Switch! A fun and exciting open world game called The Falconeer! A game where you controlled a flying bird and shoot at various other factions? If you told me that a while back, I would have gawked and said that wouldn’t work.
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foryoumyheroes · 4 years
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Otaku
[Bakugou + Todoroki] are in love with the anime character [Name]. 
A/N:  Gender-neutral reader  Crackish?? 
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Bakugou Katsuki: 
He’s sort of picky with the genre, be it fantasy, horror, shonen, but his favorite character has to be a super cool, super powerful one. No excuses. 
You know, the type of anime character that’s probably introduced through a silhouette of them posing dramatically with their notorious group whose image is teased throughout the first few episodes/seasons. 
He goes pretty hard for All Might, and he’s definitely the same for your character. 
Reads the manga (but he buys it super secretly, like in a hoodie at night and the cashier probably thinks that they’re being robbed until he brings the entire [Series] collection to the register). Watches the anime the moment it’s broadcasted, reads metas and watches youtube videos that talk about conspiracies/analyses of your character. 
NO ONE CAN KNOW THOUGH. 
He’s taking his anime phase to the grave. 
For some reason gets super aggressive when you’re being flirty or being shipped with another character?? He hates all the scenes that tease any potential romance between you and other characters. asdfgj He’s like, “No one is good enough for [Name]!!! Except for me.” 
He even tries to think up ways he can legitimately square up with them LMAO. Like he wonders how he could defeat your potential S/Os in a fight but y’all are like ,,, anime characters SO WHY DOES IT EVEN MATTER LOL 
“Three-sword style?? Tch, I’d fucking blow that bastard to bits.” 
“Who’s this Gaara of the Sand looking ass and why is the author getting so bold.” 
He even tries to think of how well your abilities match up with his own Quirk, this dork. 
THE LENGTHS HE WOULD GO FOR YOU.
If you were a real life person and your dislikes are lets say spicy food or loud, overbearing people, Bakugou would be like, “Tch I’m right, they’re wrong. Shut the fuck up!!!” But if his ultimate wifu/husbando has those dislikes he would be like, “Omg...😳😳 opposites attract...👉👈” 
He honestly tries to be a low-key fan (as in, not be a fan at all to outsiders), but if one day during class Kaminari ends up saying that in [Series], you’re the weakest character in your group/squad, Bakugou would get super angry. 
“Hey, Dunceface!! It’s so fucking obvious that you’re an anime-only fake fan, so don’t talk as if you know shit!” 
Bakugou is those “um actually” ;; fans 
Bakugou is a manga reader, so by the time your introduction scene or Ultimate Attack scene is being aired he becomes super OOC. He’s hyped for it for days, incredibly nervous at how the animators handle the scene. 
By the time he watches it?? 
THE ANIMATION!! THE VOICE ACTING!! YOUR COOLNESS!!! PLS ORA ORA HIM IN THE CHEST!! HE’S BEGGING YOU! IF YOU’RE GOING TO UNISON RAID WITH ANYONE PLS LET IT BE HIM!! 
He’s legitimately sweating buckets by the time the episode is over. A whole-ass fire hazard. 
Probably knows how to play your character theme on the drums. 
Omg but if your character dies/is hinted toward dying/or the most recent chapters ends with a cliffhanger where you’re fatally injured he will become legitimately depressed. 
Like holes himself in his dorm room for a whole day without contacting anyone and with the blinds drawn type of depressed. 
When he comes to class the next day with eye-bags and is slouching and his classmates think that something horrible has happened, it’s probably only Izuku who knows what’s going on. 
He’ll say, “You’re upset about the most recent chapter of [Series], right? I know it must be hard for you right now.” He’ll give Bakugou an officially licensed rubber strap of your character and Bakugou will just ;; cradle it in his hands softly. 
In complete seriousness, your character is probably someone who is strong physically, but publicly rallies for things like, “Failure is fine.” Your character arc would probably explore what it’s like being not good enough or feeling constantly disappointed, so he feels comfort in your character. 
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Todoroki Shoto: 
In comparison to Bakugou, he’s probably a more low-key fan unintentionally, but goes just as hard. 
Buys all of the merch, limited-edition or not, has your picture set as his phone lockscreen and homescreen, has a little acrylic charm of you on his phone, follows several fanartists that draw your character on social media. He buys enough merch that his room looks like a glorified shrine. 
It’s canon that he reads manga, but I headcanon that he’s even less picky with his genres and willingly reads things like slice-of-life or shojo all the way to shonen or adult fantasy, so your anime could come from any possible story. 
Your character is probably someone who is sweet and kind but has a traumatic character backstory. 
He probably ends up thinking stuff like, “If [Name] was with me, I would never let them get treated like that.” asdhj he’s a dork too. 
Unironically dramatically quotes you during battle and thinks that it’s still badass because he’s a teenage boy in his anime phase. 
Doesn’t get into debates with people who don’t like your character. He’s like, “Everyone is entitled to their own opinion :)) even though they’re wrong. >:(.” 
If you’re from a sports/competition anime he’ll try to learn all of the rules, and even try it out for himself (if it’s not fighting) but he finds out that he’s... not very good at it. That doesn’t make him any less amazed though! 
If your character is from a different culture with different customs and traditions, he’ll even learn more about them outside of your anime! 
Forces his siblings to watch the anime with him. They don’t necessarily have to, but the Todoroki household has one big TV and he hogs it all the time watching your anime over and over. 
Natsuo is begging him to watch something else and Shoto will just pout angrily from the other side of the couch.(  ̄^ ̄)
It’s so jarring because he doesn't look or appear like a hardcore anime fan, but sometimes he’ll just butt into conversations randomly and talk about you. 
Like you know those tumblr Naruto posts that talk about it as if it’s some sort of Renaissance literature. That’s Todoroki. 
[”Man, they’re so hot--!” 
“You want to see someone hot?” Todoroki asks with a perfectly straight face, and he’ll just... turn his phone around and show them a picture of an anime character.] 
When his dad tries to set him up with someone else: “You think they’re my type? Do they watch [Series]? Do they know what true friendship is?? Do they understand pining and love the way [Name] does?” 
Endeavor: who the FUCK is [Name]. 
Gets into fanfiction because of your character and series. He’ll just be reading on his phone during break times at school and everyone thinks that he’s being so well-read but he’s just reading pure smut with a straight face. 
Doesn’t mind when you’re shipped with other characters necessarily but he is super picky. If your character is hinted toward a potential romance with another character that’s pretty crass and doesn’t necessarily treat you well but you’re sticking together through the power of friendship, he won’t ship it. 
He’s just like “[Name] would be so much happier with someone else like me.” ://// 
And if your character goes through something traumatic or terrible during the series he’ll be so sad, like soooo sad. :((( Deku would probably be comforting him on the couch in the common room and everyone is concerned because he looks like he’s mourning a lost pet, but it turns out to be over some anime character pshhhsdfh. 
Deku would just be patting his shoulder trying to console him and Todoroki’s just sitting there with a big frown on his face going, [“But they’ve been through so much throughout the anime already...” 
“I know, Todoroki-kun, I know...” 
“The author can’t do that to them... It’s just not fair.”
“I get it,” Midoriya says mournfully.]  
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Plot twist: They like the same anime character 
They’ll probably find out when they have to retake the license exam together. 
Todoroki will just take his phone out during off times and Bakugou’s eyes looks over because it’s drawn by the noise but then his head just snaps to the side when he realizes its a little charm of you, like, he’s going to get whiplash from that. 
“What the -- is that [Surname] [Name]?!” 
Like they have never really hung out together before this, so when they both first realize that their favorite character of all time is [Name] they’re left ,, just standing there ,,, pointing at each other like the spiderman meme.
At first they’re both inwardly excited because FINALLY someone cultured and with taste. They spend the entire time talking about your stats, your attacks, your post-timeskip character design, and your personality, and then they delve a little bit deeper and then they realize ,,, oh. 
Bakugou says that you don’t belong with the dumb protagonist, you should be shipped with someone strong, confident and loud, but Todoroki is like noooooo they deserve to be with someone that treats them gently. 
They connect the dots. 
[“Bakugou, you aren’t compatible with [Name]. It says so in their trivia page.” 
“Says you! They won’t want some bland-ass pretty boy! They would want a real man!”] 
They’re such fanboys ;;; they do realize that you aren’t real, right asdfghj?
One day Kaminari and Sero separately invite them to an anime convention, but they both say no and that they have plans or “something better to do” that day. 
Then Bakugou and Todoroki both turn up to the convention at the same place because they both reach for the last limited edition [Name] figure and they just stare at each other wide-eyed (ʘoʘ╬) like that. 
They start verbally fighting each other over the last figure and then physically fighting each other andddd then they get kicked out of the convention. 
Izuku ends up swooping in and getting the last box. 
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interact-if · 3 years
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Taking the spotlight for Day 6... Lucirene!
Lucirene, author of An Angel’s Song
Latino Heritage Month Featured Author
In the forest of Bres an otherworldly sickness corrodes the soil and changes the creatures within. “A parting gift from the fallen angels”  say the citizens of the Hyaku Region and the mark on your hand confirms it.
Though the scent travelling in the air is sweet and enticing everyone knows better than to get closer. But the mark, it pulses, it burns, the pain spreading as fast as the corruption of the forest does.
Your masters are calling, and it seems like this time you cannot escape them.
An Angel’s Song Demo | Author’s Ko-fi | Author’s Patreon | Read more [here]
Tags: dark fantasy, romance
(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)
Q1: So, tell us a little bit about the projects you’re working on!
I have so many, but the only one public is An Angel’s Song. It’s, more than anything, a story about grief, loneliness and overcoming it all while navigating a hostile environment and discovering long lost secrets about the Divine and about the MC’s country. That one is very cathartic for me to make because of the themes, I feel like I’m working through a lot of feelings I didn’t even realize I had by writing it.
The next one is also an IF and it focuses on comedy, adventure and character interaction. It’s supposed to be more lighthearted, more fun, but knowing me… I don’t know if it’ll stay that way. Basically, it goes: A Captain’s boat falls prey to the storms and the strange creatures living under the sea, and they and their crew end up washing ashore an icy, snowy country. I already have the main cast written down and they have so much synergy, it’s amazing.
And the last one I’ll talk about (a traditional novel) actually happens in the same setting as my second IF, but many, many years before, when their local deity/guardian was born. It’s more of a romance-fantasy than anything, a love story between a Goddess and a half-dragon, however it also showcases many of the situations the people had to navigate and face before their country could become the place you’ll see in my second IF.
Q2: What excites you most about using interactive fiction? What are some of the biggest challenges?
What I like most definitely is how much freedom we have as authors. Of course, one is constrained by one’s ability to code but I think, for the most part, we can do so many things, reach an entirely new level of immersion that would not be possible with a regular novel. It’s amazing how sometimes I’m reading something and get so into it, feel so connected to the MC I feel dread when they do, panic when they have to make a choice that will clearly impact a lot of people in their world. With IF you can really feel like you’re part of the story.
Another thing I like is being able to explore other paths with my writing. Like for example, what if the MC had done this instead of that? How would that have affected their relationships, their world state? Writing branches is a lot of work, especially because they could change so many things, but it feels oddly satisfying when you do decide to include them. 
Challenges… Coding, mainly. I feel like a lot of new aspiring IF authors are a bit afraid of coding and I can understand that, especially since, had it not been for the help of the community, I would have taken way longer to actually start using Twine. Hopefully with time for resources come up and it becomes less daunting.
I don’t know if any other author feels the same way but, though I think branching is a blessing, it is also a curse. I can only write the same conversation so many times, I mean I know I’m writing it in different tones and sometimes with different results but it gets frustrating after a while because it feels like you’re stuck, like you’re not progressing at all.
Another one would definitely be finding a balance between reader interaction and just following your vision. Since it’s IF at times I feel like I have to meet a quota of branches or ways in which you can react, sometimes I also find it difficult to make the MC feel like a real person instead of a reader-insert. I’m working on that.
Q3: What has been something in your project you’ve had to do a weird amount of research for?
That’s a difficult one… I don’t know if I would consider it weird but I do tend to investigate a lot about fashion, especially when designing the main outfits of the characters. I spend hours trying to find out what colors were used back then, what they meant, who was allowed to use them. I have this little image with some palettes for kimonos depending on the season.
I also spend too much time coming up with names, especially for places. Like I look up names of places that already exist, what they mean, I try to investigate if the words that I want to use make sense, then I panic because I can’t find anything, but I think that’s usual for writers. I also spent more time than necessary researching for the name of a tree that you will see way later in the book, which no one will probably notice what the name of the tree means or what it symbolizes but it makes me happy.
Honestly, I feel like the amount of research I have had to do has not been particularly weird? If anything at times I think I should research more, even if some aspects of Japanese culture will not apply to Kyou.
Q4: Which of your characters is most like you? How?
The initial version of the MC from An Angel’s Song, which I miss dearly since they had more personality. They were autistic coded too, and I hope some traces of that still remain. Apart from that I feel like all of the characters from the main cast share something with me, even if their experiences are, of course, more dramatic than my own.
A lot of them have issues with a paternal figure or an absent mother, which also resonates with me. Some of Saori’s traits draw inspiration from ways in which I talked or acted before I became a little better at masking, before I became more self-aware. Hazuki being emotional and caring, K being a bit clingy but devoted, Masa having a temper yet loyal, Miwa being friendly but reluctant to open up beyond surface level information. I think those things describe me.
There’s also Rei but I don’t think I’m writing her book anytime soon. She’s someone that’s very family oriented, she’s a bit temperamental but she means well and she’s not afraid to speak her mind. Now that I think about it, maybe Rei is more the person I want to become.
Q5: Does your heritage influence your characters as you create them? (How? Why or why not?)
I’ve been living in Venezuela my whole life so I think so, even if most of the time I don’t even notice it. I believe that this happens especially in regards to relationships because people in Venezuela are very family oriented and also, from what I’ve experienced, they form strong bonds with their neighbors, which creates this strong sense of community —sometimes it goes well, sometimes it doesn’t, but my mom and her friends always make at least some friends in their neighborhoods and they gossip with some coffee about the happenings of the rest—. So when it comes to writing a character it is very important to me to make an emphasis on family relationships because those are a strong part of my culture, of my identity. 
In An Angel’s Song you have the main cast having issues or conflicting emotions about one or multiple members of their family, which influence their behavior and their outlook on life, but for the most part they are (or will be) able to form similar relationships with people that are not related to them, or to work towards restoring that relationship, transforming it into something healthier. 
In my other books family dynamics are also immensely important. For example, I’m going to mention Rei again because I love her. So, Rei has a sister named Rin, and they are both very close, even if they haven’t spent much time together. Their bond and trust in each other helps them overcome a lot of obstacles and they rely on each other when they need support or encouragement. Rei also has other people that she thinks of as siblings, and restoring that relationship with them is one of her main goals. There’s also this recurring guilt she feels at leaving her birth family and her home to explore, because to her, families are supposed to stay together.
Another aspect that I think influences my writing is religion, even if I wasn’t raised in a particularly religious household nor do I belong to any religion. Religion is a big deal in this country, we have so many events and holidays relating to religious figures. I remember when I was very young I loved going to one of the churches here because the Virgin of that town had a building filled with pretty clothes to dress her with. 
So, in that vein, I try to think about the character’s relationship with religion, do they believe in the Gods? Do they trust them? Do they follow local deities or prefer the main pantheon? How does this religion shape the way people interact with each other and the world? In regards to characters that are Venezuelan or Venezuelan-coded… I do have a few that are Venezuelan, but I don’t think I’m going to be releasing their stories soon, so I’ll keep it quiet for now.
Q6: What is something you love to see in interactive fiction?
People being passionate about their work! This isn’t something exclusive to IF, but it is something that I love seeing. I also like seeing the different ways people innovate within the genre. I feel like sometimes, especially with newer writers, there is this idea that an IF has to subscribe to a specific format and that’s simply not true. If you don’t want to use a stat system you don’t have to, if you want to add combat then go ahead, if you would prefer to write an MC that’s already pretty pre-established (which is something that I personally want to try) then there’s nothing stopping you and I encourage you to give it a go. IF is very versatile and it’s wrong to try and fit authors into a box, especially if they want to bring something new into our little corner of the internet.
Q7: Any advice to give?
In general, I advise people to have fun writing, to not worry so much about how good it is, about if people will like it. Writing, at the end of the day, ends up being a pretty solitary activity and having those thoughts in your head too long will make you spiral. Be kind to yourself, be open to feedback when it comes (and learn to distinguish constructive feedback from destructive feedback) and enjoy the exploration of your world and characters. 
You are not alone in all of this. If you can, join a group of writers you can talk with, exchange ideas, get feedback from or just exchange memes (the ultimate bonding experience). Don’t be afraid, you’re not alone.
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1ddiscourseoftheday · 3 years
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Thurs 4 Feb ‘21
Confirmation is here at last of Harry’s role in the film adaptation of My Policeman, brought to us by queer fave Greg Berlanti (and his husband). Harry will costar with Emma Corrin, who you may remember from the at the time inexplicable seeming Harry/Emma cross promo last August-- given the pains they took then to emphasize that the relationship was platonic, one assumes this film will go for a different promo tactic than the current one! They share a stylist though, so they’ll no doubt be beautifully coordinated. Harry will play Tom, which some people object to on the grounds that Harry is the wrong person to play the role of a closeted man which is certainly… one opinion. Aaaaand there’s plenty more of that discourse (and about him playing a policeman) to come over the coming months so I’ll just leave it there for now! Anyway and as for that current project, we got more DWD set pics today, featuring Harry in various costume outfits! There’s ones where his character looks bloodied, and ones where his character looks clean but absolutely terrifying, grown up frat boy from hell looks to give you CHILLS, plus some of Harry as Harry in a bright orange hoodie designed by his friend Kunichi Nomura.There was also {moustache spoilers} some weird facial hair on display. Okay then!
Project Defenseless has been launched to push Defenseless up in the streaming charts and push for radio play! The fan single project offers resources and organized pushes to get people streaming and promoting on all the platforms and reaching out to radio, and has fans making lots of very cool edits besides! “I see what you’re doing with defenseless! You are all incredible!” said Louis. That song is such a fitting choice for this kind of project! Its journey has been all about the fan response from back when Louis played it for us for the very first time in 2019 (it was the one everyone was screaming about from soundcheck clips for the few hours between that and hearing the songs for real even) and afterwards he told us about how although he’d always liked the song it clicked for him in a new way after getting the fan reaction, saying “something happened to it when I performed it live, and ever since then it really kind of got me,” and “the fans make everything sound amazing, they made it sound so good,” and “the fans for whatever reason really took to this song, so now it has a special place in me heart definitely”. Plus of course there was the long saga of fan stress when it seemed like it might not be on the album and rejoicing when Louis finally definitively confirmed that it would be, after what seemed like might have been a reversal on his part due to the outcry about it. And now she’s climbing all kinds of charts like a the star she is! The song shot up on itunes (#3 worldwide, #1 in 16 countries) just for starters and the project has only just got going. Louis commented on the stats-- “An album track off an album that’s a year old. You lot blow my fucking mind! Thank you so much!”
Louis also commented on a Jack Saunders (BBC indie music DJ) tweet and followed guitarist Johnny Took of the DMAs on twitter which is weird only in that he didn’t already.
There’s news about Zayn’s Zach Sang interview, and it’s not the most surprising news but it is very sad; Zach says “hi beautiful humans, this convo was scheduled for last week but we got a rain check from his team. this conversation can still happen, it ain’t over yet! we’ll keep ya in the loop. I listened to this album 7 times! we’re determined” Well... damn. However Zayn DID pop up with some spon-content but like… the WEIRDEST ad content?? It’s for Coors Light and, well I’ll let Zayn tell you about it! “They’re gonna see if they can put a commercial inside your dreams... which is kind of messed up.” HAHAHAHA I have nothing to add! What Zayn said!!! “So we’re gonna give that a go and uh see if it works,” he says, sounding appropriately skeptical, followed by “wish me luck”. Does this kind of sponcon count as malicious compliance? Technically he DID say the stuff he was supposed to- and he’s doing an instagram live for them Sat, supposedly. I can’t wait to see how that goes! Wish him luck! The latest installment of the NIL comic book video series is also out today, but just one this time instead of a pair. This week’s song is Connexion and the new comic shows us that the figure pursuing our hero is, drumroll-- himself! The call is coming from inside the house!
Unlike interview shy Zayn, however, Gigi is out there ready to overshare, as long as it’s to Vogue. She has plenty to say about giving birth to zaby Khai (newly revealed nickname: Khaiba) at home at the Pennsylvania farm. The article says that they decided to have the birth at home due to COVID placing restrictions on hospital births that would have prevented Bella and Zayn and Yolanda all being present, and after she and Zayn watched the documentary The Business of Being Born. “They placed a blow-up bath in their bedroom and sent their three cats and border collie away when the midwife expressed concern that the sphynx and Maine coon felines might puncture the tub with their claws,” the interviewer learns while horseback riding with Gigi. The article also says Zayn “caught the baby” but it isn’t a direct quote from Gigi and I’m thinking a bit of an exaggeration perhaps. Gigi had the baby at the Hadid family farm but she and Zayn have since relocated to live at his farm, which is nearby, where they say they will be raising the child, with Z’s mom Trisha coming to stay to help out for the first month, that Khai sleeps with them, and that Zayn said his experience of the whole thing reminded him of the birth in a lion documentary they’d watched. Neither mentioned it but it has been spotted that Gigi and Zayn each now have tattoos of the name, Khai, in Arabic.
Meanwhile, Niall surfaced only in golf guy mode- a Modest Golf announcement and a podcast appearance to promote the new Modest initiative to get young people into playing golf. He says they want to “get rid of that thing that’s been holding golf back for a long time, that it’s a boring sport…” and I know he means he’s trying to combat that idea but when I tell you I LAUGHED!
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tooruluv · 3 years
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Kozume Kenma x F!Reader x Tetsurou Kuroo ( part 5 )
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❝ i’m right here, when are you going to realize that i’m your cure, heartbreak girl? ❞
description: kozume kenma didn’t know the exact day in which he realized that he was in love with you. he knew very well that it was sometime after your first “hello”, but the exact moment got whisked away in the many memories that included you. the problem was, though, that you were in love with and in a serious relationship with the boy he claimed as a best friend.
genre: angst, pining, unrequited love, (characters are aged up as the story continues)
word count: 1.5k
warnings/notes: swearing, all of the characters are aged up in this one, everyone is staring university !! i am so sorry for the short part, i wanted to update this. it’s a filler chapter for next part (which is pretty long and i havent even written all of it yet)
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“ i fell in your arms tonight ”
┏━━━━━⋇⋆⋆⋇❦⋇⋆⋆⋇━━━━━┓
Kozume Kenma hadn’t seen nor heard from you in a while. 
After the beach house, it was graduation. And that was it. He had watched you from afar at Nekoma’s graduation, had adored you in that gorgeous dress that you wore for pictures. 
With the third years gone and both of you starting your last year of high school, neither of you had a reason to see each other. Kenma didn’t play his last year of volleyball, instead opted to watch from the stands and focus on starting to stream his gaming.
You were focusing on your finals and entrance exams, and on occasion visited Kuroo at his university. He was rooming with Bokuto, so it was a two in one deal when you went. They were happy to sneak you in to stay the night, too.
It was as if when Kuroo left, there was a wall built between your friendship.
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Kenma’s online popularity grew quite rapidly. It was almost overwhelming how incredibly fast he had a following, how quickly people rushed to his streams and asked for his socials.
He didn’t mind. He liked to game; and honestly, a lot of their advice helped him beat levels. 
It wasn’t something that he wanted to have as a career, which is why he applied to university as a business major. As much as he loved gaming, it wasn’t the only thing he wanted to do with his life. He wanted to do more.
While streaming one day after school, one of his followers had asked him “Do you have a girlfriend?”
Kenma read the comment out loud, rolling his eyes, “I don’t think that matters.”
The mystery of his personal life made him gain even more popularity, it seemed.
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You set the coffee down on the edge of the table, rolling your shoulders. 
You had been studying for hours when Keiji Akaashi arrived to sit in front of you. It was kind of random, your friendship with him. He was Bokuto’s best friend, and you were Bokuto’s best friend’s girlfriend. It was like having a cousin you kind of knew but not really.
Either way, Akaashi had become your saving grace since starting your final year. 
“We have a volleyball game tomorrow.” Akaashi said as he handed you a bagel. “You should come, support the team.”
You smiled. “Yeah, I would love to.” 
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You found Koutarou Bokuto at the game, sporting old gear and his famous smile. It was incredibly different to find him in the stands instead of on the court.
“If it isn’t Bokuto himself.” You smiled as you stood next to him. He searched for only a second to find you, pushing you playfully with his hand. 
“What are you doing here?” He asked. “I thought you didn’t watch our games.”
“Akaashi invited me.” You offered him a sip of your concessions soda. He accepted.
“I’m excited to see Hinata.” He handed you your drink back, even though he drank most of it. “His quick attack has only improved.”
“You’re not wrong.” You chuckled. 
Bokuto put his arm around your shoulder and cheered as they announced the starting line up, happily exclaiming for his best friend. You cheered, too. 
“Hey, I’m sorry for telling Kuroo about Kenma.” He told you in a low voice. Despite the loud cheers, you heard him. 
“It’s fine.” You shrugged. “I shouldn’t have told you.”
“That’s hurtful.” He started to move his arm from your shoulders, but you put your hand on his to keep it in place. 
“I didn’t mean it like that and you know it.” You said. “I haven’t even talked to Kenma, and I haven’t had a fight with Kuroo since. I was just saying.. I shouldn’t have burdened you with that big of a secret.”
“I am an awful secret keeper.”
You laughed. “Yeah, you are.”
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Kozume Kenma watched from a distance. He was wearing one of Hinata’s hoodies in an attempt to blend into the Karasuno side. 
Hinata had invited him to their game. He had no idea that he would find you in the crowd. You never went to your own games.
Kenma bit the inside of his mouth.
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In all truth, you missed Kenma.
It didn’t matter how awkward it would be. It didn’t matter how much guilt you resided in your rejection. You missed him. You missed going to him for little things. You missed sitting on his beanbag and watching him play whatever game he was playing that day. You missed late night phone calls and facetimes. You missed meeting up at the asscrack of dawn to get ramen while the entire world was still asleep. You missed your head in his lap. You missed him.
You missed your best friend.
And, in truth, he missed you too.
He missed everything about you. He missed your smell, how sweet you always seemed to smell even in the early mornings. He missed how he didn’t mind your touch. He missed your smile. He even missed when you would complain about Kuroo to him. He missed you.
As his best friend’s girlfriend or not. In love with you or not. You were his best friend, and he missed you.
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Kozume Kenma’s streams were the highlight of his day. Without Kuroo’s everyday nagging, he didn’t spend a lot of time talking to others. His social stats were at their lowest.
Streaming was his main form of communication. He loved talking to his followers and fans, thanking them for their subs and reading comments.
His username was “applepi”, which was what he always used for his user for everything. With that, his fans called him “pi”. It was ugly as shit but it was better than “cat boy” or some bullshit pet name.
They knew his actual name, too, and he told them that once he started university, he would also post a face reveal and start streaming with a facecam. It was a strategy and also a fun way to create some mystery as to who he was. 
hey pi, when do u start uni ?? someone had asked.
Kenma, who was playing and trying to read some of the flooding comments at the same time, replied, “When do I start university? In two weeks. I got accepted into my first choice, so that’s pretty exciting. I’m sure you all will be patiently waiting for my facecam.”
A new rush of comments rolled in, congratulating him on his acceptance and excitement for his face reveal. 
His mind was still on you at the volleyball game.
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Turns out, you got accepted into the same university as Kenma.
You didn’t know it at the time, of course, because you had no idea which one he wanted to go to. But you did.
Kuroo, Bokuto, Kenma, and you would all be going to the same school. It was both exciting and nerve-wracking. You had to stop your hands from shaking as you packed your bags.
You were a bundle of nerves.
You wondered if that was what Kenma felt like before he told you that he loved you. If that was the same feeling.
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As you packed, you found Kuroo’s old red hoodie that he told you to keep when he saved you from your parents at the beginning of your relationship.
It had been over a year since then, you reminded yourself.
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Knocking interrupted Kozume Kenma, making him jump slightly in his chair. He hadn’t started his daily stream yet, he had only just started to set up, so he headed to the door.
Of all the things he was expecting, he was not expecting to see you standing on his doorstep. He was not expecting to find your eyes on his, rimmed in tears and redness, and he feared that he was imagining the sight in front of him.
“Hi.” He said against the silence. 
“Me and Kuroo broke up.” You said as a greeting. 
Kenma didn’t have a second thought before he stepped aside to let you in. He didn’t think before tweeting to his followers that he would not be streaming that day. He didn’t think before pulling you into his arms and allowing you to cry against his chest.
Because love does a lot of things, but it doesn’t go away with mere silence.
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tag list: @elianetsantana @sazunari @jennasquishy8 @chao01248 @alysken @cinnamonruts @paradisebabey @kikikittykis @yatoatyourservice​
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lifewithdavefarts · 3 years
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DaveFarts - Episode 11 “VoiceFarting” [Episode List] Tim and Adam are hanging out on... Liscord, playing some stuff together, waiting for Dave to join them for a game. When Adam unexpectedly has to leave however, Dave decides to do some… microphone testing.
VoiceFarting
“I’m going in as a mage ‘cause you fuckers can’t cast for shit” I heard Adam say right into my ears.
This was one of our usual game nights. We’d voice chat on Liscord on our own server and all that stuff. Adam was being, for the lack of a better term, kind of bitchy, ‘cause he thinks as himself as the most skilled gamer around even though we’re always reviving his ass. In the end it’s all in good fun of course, but we’d all happily mute him during a match if we could.
“Yes, Adam. Have fun with the ‘easy mode’ character.” I said, deliberately baiting him.
“Listen here you little shit” he immediately blurted “I can accept that you’re gay but I’m not going to accept the fact that you’re a scrub.” he said, obviously joking, though he did take skills seriously during a match.
“Yeah yeah but I’m the one using the axe, fighting enemies face-to-face like a man.” I kept teasing him. “How’s going up there? Still casting light arrows from your safe space?” I cackled.
“Excuse me???” his icon lighting up, the audio clipping “Why don’t we check your stats instead? Too afraid of looking like the scrub you are??? I literally made no mistakes last time.”
“Of course you didn’t: the chance of making mistakes is like 0% when you stand still and far from the battle.”
There was a moment of silence, then I heard Adam’s breath into the mic “You know I know where you live, right?”
I laughed but before I could continue this very deep and mature battle of wits, we both heard the sound notifying us that our bud Dave joined the voice chat. Now, whenever Dave joins, we usually hear every sound except for his voice, so we were ready to have our ears busted because of the noi-
“Hey noobs!” Dave greeted us, with a voice that was instead crystal clear.
“What the hell” both me and Adam said, our avatars lighting up at the same time.
“I see you noticed that you can now hear my beautiful voice perfectly.” he bragged, and rightfully so.
Normally we could hear his PC’s fans, what was going on down the street, cars passing by, atoms crashing into each others… farts. But now it was just Dave with his now-soothing voice calling us names.
“Are you finished?” Adam said.
But there was no response from Dave.
“Did he finally die?” Adam continued.
I heard a faint sigh of relief from Dave and then he went “Yeah, now I’m finished.”
I kind of suspected what happened but I didn’t say a word.
“Wait. You didn’t hear a thing?” Dave asked, puzzled.
Both me and Adam shrugged as if he could see us, but then said that no, we didn’t.
My detective skills told me that my gassy straight bud ripped one of his classic loud farts, but the new microphone had that “background noise reduction” feature (which my friend seriously needed) so it didn’t register his ass-blast as the old one usually did, so much so that Dave’s frequent farts would eventually turn into white noise for the rest of us. But now, his new headset was actually worth the price and all we could hear was indeed his voice.
“Can we just get into the game befo-“ Adam blurted, but was cut off mid-sentence by a loud, ear-piercing sound coming from Dave, though that wasn’t him speaking or screaming.
My fartbro really didn’t want us to miss what his ass is capable of, so we were both startled by a powerful, audio-clipping fart that completely overwhelmed our voice begging him to stop. And he did stop, but only after like 12 seconds. The rip was followed by the sound of Dave re-adjusting his microphone and laughing. “Hopefully you heard that now.” he chuckled.
I did hear it. I was very familiar with it. Truth is that Dave farting during our game sessions wasn’t anything new however. Even I was used to it, though that did pitch a tent in my shorts. I started wondering whether Dave was in jeans, shorts or boxers. Probably the latter, and shirtless, given that it was a warm evening. I tried to not to let my usual simp-ness over my bro take over me but apparently it was already too late, as I didn’t even notice Adam begin pissed off about an unwanted phone call.
“I’m sorry guys, I gotta take this one.” he said, annoyed. “Do not wait for me. Cya tomorrow I guess.”
And logged off, another sound notifying us that he went into the terrible real world realm.
“Alone at last, bro.” Dave said, in a flirty tone, just as Adam left.
I laughed and mindlessly switched to a different, this time single-player game as we needed at least 3 guys to play, one of those brutal action games that I suck at but I have to beat.
Dave did the same, with a similar game, and we both started gaming on our own but keeping each other company, like we usually do, occasionally exchanging opinions on what we were playing and so on.
“It’s probably his ex-girlfriend” Dave said.
“Yeah. I figured.” I simply answered.
Adam wasn’t really talkative about his personal stuff like me or even Dave, so neither us really knew what was going on. But if our bud didn’t want us to know, not fully know at least, then we respect this decision.
After a couple of more minutes of silence, I heard some sounds coming from Dave. Not a fart, this time though.
“Did you say something?” I asked.
I heard some muffled noises and then Dave’s voice, lower than usual though “I’m just messing with the settings here. I feel like sometimes the volume gets messed up.” and he was right.
“Yeah the audio is kind of low now.” I warned him.
I heard some more noises (keyboard tapping, mouse clicking, etc.) and then I heard him speak again.
Or, to be more precise, he did make a sound with his mouth, though those weren’t words; a loud belch, actually, right into my ears. Dave was more of a farter, but he wasn’t new to wild, incredible burps. I honestly prefer the more disgusting butt explosion, but I still tip my hat at my bro being a masterful air-bender from both ends.
“Yes, I did hear that.” I said, anticipating his question.
He laughed. “Thank you.” he answered, belching both word with care.
A couples of minutes of silence followed, with just me and Dave occasionally chatting but overall trying to be focused on our respective games. My straight bro was however not done with the “testing”.
“Are you hearing this bro?” he suddenly asked, trying not to laugh.
“No…?” I was puzzled.
“Wait. Let me just…”
I heard Dave removing his headset and as it got farther away from his head, a familiar sound got louder and louder instead, until it became unbearable.
“Are you hearing this now?” he shouted, though I could heard him over that sound.
The sound of yet another loud blast of gas, so loud it was glitching the audio. It was long and proud, dry as some of his best rips, and it just wouldn’t stop. The boss I was fighting somehow felt how distracted I was and one-shotted me with a swipe of his flaming sword but I couldn’t even hear any in-game sound ‘cause my straight gassy bro was basically farting right into my ears, albeit indirectly.
I instinctively reached for the pitched tent between my legs as the fart kept going strong and loud, so loud in fact that I had to lower the volume ‘cause my hears were starting to hurt.
After a grand total of 18 seconds, I once again heard Dave putting his headphones back on his head, wondering whether they were radioactive or melting at this point, due to all that poisonous gas.
“I gotta say… the sound quality is pretty spot-on. What headset are you using?” I joked.
Dave chuckled. “The same as yours actually. Thanks for the advice.”
We kept chatting a bit more as if he wasn’t a gassy teasing bastard but since he *is* a gassy teasing bastard I once again heard him, with no warning nor request from me, removing his headphones again and putting them (I assume) closer to the source of his underwear-clad ass.
Unsurprisingly, yet another manly, loud rip blasted through my own headphones right into my eardrums, renewing the hard-on I had only moments before. It sounded like a motorcycle passing by and I could only imagine how badly the stench was in Dave’s room. Lasting around 11 seconds, this time it got dangerously wet-ish towards the end, which I found hilarious but also made me rightfully worried about my bro maybe going a bit too far even for both of our standards.
“Dude.” I said, laughing a bit “You might want to go easy. That sounded risky.”
Dave, being the chill guy he is, just laughed about it. “Don’t worry, dude. I’m an expert.” and he ripped a short toot that was so loud I could even hear it without the microphone going straight into his butt this time.
We then kept gaming a bit more on our own. Dying over and over to that same boss made me think about how chill Dave was being -as usual- about my kink. I mean don’t get me wrong he always farted a lot while voice chatting but this time it was different, as he was now aware of my fetish. And, as always, I really appreciated that, just as I appreciated yet another thunderous blast, one that actually startled me, making me lose YET AGAIN.
“FUCK!” I blurted.
As the fart kept going, Dave moved the microphone closer to his face (but I still could hear the fart going) just to laugh at my gaming skills, completely aware however that his farts were a huge distraction on its own. He then planted the microphone once again in front of his butt and the blast went loud and proud.
“It’s just too easy.” he then chuckled, after finishing ripping that monstrous fart.
It was. I had to pause the game for a couple of minutes to calm down, the tent between my legs going harder and harder. Was Dave aware of this part as well? Of course he was, but he didn’t care. It was just a game for him, and he was constantly proving me how much of a pro gamer he was.
I hope he never gets nerfed.
End of Episode 11
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alphadaddyderek · 3 years
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Not all math puns are awful, just sum (sterek fic, high school au)
ao3 link: click if you dare
summary: ’what is the probability that anyone will pass this fucking class? I’m thinking 1 in 100’
Stiles shakes his head because that was such a bad math joke that it was actually kinda funny. And, based on the expressions on people’s faces during class, also very true.
'i think there is statistical data to back up your theory’
AU where Stiles and Derek have to share a textbook and they write terrible math puns back and forth to each other.
Stiles sincerely, genuinely, regrets taking AP classes.
Well, kinda.
They would look great on his resume. Colleges wouldn’t even second guess accepting him and he would receive so many scholarships which would help his dad big time.
AP classes will also raise his GPA crazy high which, again, looks great to colleges.
Sometimes they just suck.
His AP Statistics class is definitely #1 on the ‘classes that suck straight ass list’.
It’s boring and it can be kinda hard. Plus it’s math so it’s automatically gross.
Stiles is good at math, but it’s not his forte, that’s more Lydia Martin’s thing.
Anyway, Beacon Hills High had to have some budget cuts this year, like, serious budget cuts. The sports teams are lucky that people care about people throwing balls all over the place, otherwise they would’ve gotten cut too.
Since the school has had budget cuts, the students don’t get individual textbooks anymore. Meaning, that they can only use it during class and then they have to leave it in the classroom for the next class to use.
So, yeah.
It’s the third week of junior year, AP Stat is as boring as always. He has Lydia to talk to sometimes but she has other friends in the same class, so he's not always entertained.
The teacher didn’t really care about whether or not students did the work, he just played chess on his computer the whole class anyway. He gave the page number that we were supposed to work on and that was that.
Stiles prefers that to lectures, but still. When he’s done the work there’s nothing left for him to do. He could go on his phone, but even that gets boring eventually.
What he’s trying to say is that he’s bored, okay?
Turning to the page that the teacher assigned, Stiles is shocked and wildly amused, to already see writing on the margins of the page. He figured it would take at least half the school year before people started vandalizing the textbooks. Although, it’s written in pencil so it’s easily erasable.
When Stiles actually reads what was written he snorts. Luckily, it’s loud in the class so the most attention he gets is when Lydia shoots him a weird look which he ignores.
'what is the probability that anyone will pass this fucking class? I’m thinking 1 in 100'
Stiles shakes his head because that was such a bad math joke that it was actually kinda funny. And, based on the expressions on people’s faces during class, also very true.
Should he write something back? Stiles doesn’t know if the person who wrote this is hoping for a response, or if they wrote in the book because they’re just as bored as Stiles is.
Eh, fuck it. Why not?
'i think there is statistical data to back up your theory’
Stiles snickers at his equally bad math joke before finally deciding to focus on the actual work. He didn’t want to be one of the ones who didn’t pass the class, because that would suck. So he does the work and for the remainder of the class he lets out a giggle or two every once in a while because even though he’s 16 years old, he apparently still has the sense of humor of a child.
π π π
It’s the next class and honestly, Stiles kind of forgot about the writing in the textbook. After he left that class he went to AP Geography where there was immediately a test, which he nailed by the way. Plus, with all his other classes, he just didn’t think it was important to remember a bad, but still funny, math joke in a textbook.
The teacher assigns them another page number full of questions to work on. And, just like last time, there’s writing in the margins.
‘i’m sorry, that was pretty mean of me to say’
That one has Stiles laughing out loud. Not too loud though, because he doesn’t have that much of a death wish. He just laughs loud enough to make Lydia send him another weird look, except this time Lydia questions him about it.
“What is so funny?” she asks, twirling her hair with her pencil.
Stiles shakes his head. “Nothing really. Just somebody writing lame math jokes on the book pages.”
“Well, you’re laughing at them. So doesn’t that make you lame as well?”
Stiles dramatically gasps.
“Wow, Lydia, that was pretty mean of you to say,” Stiles replies before bursting into more laughter.
At this point, Lydia is looking at him like he has brain damage but he really can’t bring himself to care. It’s hilarious and if she doesn’t think so then oh well. Her loss.
Well, she doesn’t know that that was the joke inside the textbook, but still, whatever.
It’s funny.
π π π
By this point, it’s kind of like Stiles and this unknown jokester are pen pals.
It’s been a week filled with terrible math jokes and Lydia probably losing more and more respect for him as the days pass.
He’s told Scott about his little pen pal and of course, Scott doesn’t really get it, but he’s supportive nonetheless.
It’s a Friday night and Scott is at Stiles’ house. They’re playing video games and eating so much pizza that Stiles will be bloated for an entire week.
Thankfully, his dad is on the night shift, otherwise, he would be heavily judgmental of Stiles’ life choices.
After several rounds of Mario Kart, they take a break to eat said pizza and talk a bit.
“So,” Scott takes a huge bite of his slice. “how are you and your math buddy doing?”
Stiles takes a bite of his own slice. “Why are you asking? Jealous?”
Scott laughs. “Oh yeah, I’m so jealous. Please, Stiles, make terrible math jokes with me.”
Stiles flips Scott off. “You only mock because you really are jealous.”
Scott rolls his eyes and then the topic is dropped.
At least for the next hour or so. Then after that, it gets brought back up.
“Do you think it’s weird to have a crush on someone you’ve never met?” Stiles asks, playing with a loose thread on his jeans.
Scott looks at Stiles, and Stiles does not want to see the weird look Scott has on his face so he continues looking down.
“You have a crush on this person?”
Stiles shrugs. “I don’t know. They’re funny, and obviously, they’re smart if they’re in AP Stat. I would like to meet this person though, maybe. I don’t know.”
Stiles feels his cheeks heating up.
Scott nudges Stiles with his elbow. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s not weird at all. It’s kinda like online dating, but like medieval style.”
Stiles can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of his throat. “What?”
It’s like medieval style! ‘Cause, it’s in a book. Instead of online.”
Scott is always able to make Stiles feel better, no matter the situation. His goofiness especially lightens his mood.
“Okay, Scott. Are we going to go jousting next?”
“I don’t know. What you guys do on your first date is none of my business,” Scott says with a sly smile.
Stiles snorts and grabs a pillow off the couch behind them and smacks Scott in the face with it, resulting in a pillow fight ensuing.
And if anybody asks, Scott did not win. He didn’t!
π π π
2 weeks after he and Scott had that talk, Stiles continues talking with his pen pal. Although, maybe Stiles is looking too deep into this, but it kind of seems like flirting now?
Hear him out.
In the margins, the person started adding smiley faces and winky faces after every message.
Ooh and they actually put their initials! D.H.
Stiles doesn’t think he knows anyone in school with those initials. Granted, Stiles isn’t exactly a social butterfly so he’s not doubting their existence at all.
AP Stat only has 5 minutes left in the class. Stiles has already embarrassed himself in front of Lydia more times than he can count, so he decides to ask Lydia if she knows someone with those initials.
She purses her lips. “Why do you ask?”
Stiles sighs inwardly before answering. “Uh, well. I was just...wondering. Ya know. Trying to expand my friend circle.”
Lydia raises an eyebrow. And Stiles sighs outwardly this time.
“Fine. You know the jokes that were in the book?”
“You mean from like a month ago?”
“Well...we’ve kinda been continuing to exchange jokes and notes and stuff. And then recently they put their initials. Or, at least I think it’s their initials. I don’t know what else it would be. So, yeah.”
Lydia looks at him for a moment before her lips curl up into a smile. “You mean you’ve finally found someone who has a worse sense of humor than you?”
Stiles returns the smile. “I’ll have you know, my sense of humor is advanced. Way too advanced even for you.”
“Uh-huh. Anyway, the only name that comes to mind is Derek Hale.”
Stiles chokes on his own spit. “Derek Hale? You mean the star of the basketball team? The guy with eyes that are like fifty different colors and bunny teeth that would look ridiculous on anyone else but he somehow looks gorgeous with them? That Derek Hale?”
“Yes. Other than that, I don’t know anyone else with those initials.”
“Does he take AP Stat?”
Lydia shrugs. Stiles takes that as a no.
There’s no way that Derek Hale is the one writing these notes. No way in hell. Stiles isn’t that lucky.
Plus, even if Derek is the one writing these, hypothetically speaking, Derek wouldn’t be interested in him. Don’t get Stiles wrong, he knows he’s a pretty attractive guy. But nobody in this school is as attractive as Derek Hale. Let's be real here.
Okay, maybe Danny. Danny is kinda gorgeous.
But besides Danny, nobody is even on the same level as Derek.
Well, Lydia is too.
Okay, dammit. People are on the same level as Derek Hale. The point is that Stiles isn’t.
Stiles sighs for what seems like the eighth time in. “Okay. Thanks.”
Lydia gives him a scrutinizing look before nodding and getting on her phone.
Stiles sits there and ponders why his life is like this before deciding that he must've done something to piss off fate in a past life. Pleased with his conclusion, Stiles shoves his notebook and pencils into his backpack just in time for the bell to ring.
π π π
Okay, so, Stiles must be going crazy.
When he saw that his pen pal had written his initials he figured, ‘hey, I might as well do the same. It’s only decent right?’ so he had, and ever since then Derek Hale has been shooting him looks in the hallway.
Maybe he’s hallucinating, because Derek Hale is, well, Derek Hale. Out of everyone in the hallway, why would he be looking at Stiles?
Also, Stiles can’t be the only person in the school with the initials S.S. although, he probably is the only S.S. that’s taking AP Stat so there’s that.
Stiles doesn’t know what to do, should he wave? Shoot him a smile?
Actually no, he should do neither of those things because if he does, and Derek actually wasn’t looking at him, that would be so unbelievably embarrassing. So embarrassing that Stiles would have to transfer schools immediately.
Stiles shakes his head and opens up his locker to gather his things for his next class. When he closes the locker Derek is standing right there like they’re in a horror movie and Stiles jumps so hard that he drops his notebook.
“Shit. Sorry,” Derek says and bends down to swipe Stiles’ notebook off the floor.
“No, it’s okay. You’re awfully quiet for an athlete.”
Stiles holds his hand out for his notebook but Derek doesn’t seem all that interested in returning it to him just yet. Derek looks at the front of his notebook.
“Hmm. AP Stat. Interesting.”
Stiles bites his lip and nods. “Yep,” he says popping the ‘p’. “it is interesting. Well, actually it’s not. AP Stat is yuck sometimes and it can get boring but it’ll look great on my resume so.”
Derek nods. He looks at Stiles for a few more seconds before he opens his mouth, and the second he does, Stiles’ stomach fills with butterflies.
“What is the probability that anyone will pass that fucking class? I’m thinking 1 in 100.”
Stiles bites his lip to stifle his smile. He doesn’t want to cheese like an idiot in front of Derek Hale but he thinks that ship has already sailed cause Derek’s lips stretch into a big smile.
Stiles clears his throat. “I think there is statistical data to back up your theory.”
“Oh, is there?” Derek asks, smile turning into a smirk.
Stiles nods then looks at his notebook that is still in Derek’s hand. “Can I have my notebook now? I’m not sure what exactly you’re plotting but I don’t like it.”
Derek scrunches his face up. “Wow, that was bad.”
Stiles’ mouth gapes. “Like yours were any better.”
Derek shrugs, smile returning to his face. “I thought my mean joke was pretty hilarious.”
“Yeah, hilariously bad. I didn’t laugh at all, not one bit.”
Derek looks like he doesn’t believe a word Stiles just said, which is fair, he shouldn’t.
“So,” Derek begins, eyes boring into Stiles’— seriously, what is up with Derek’s eyes? — “what is the probability that you will give me your number?”
Stiles pretends to think about it for a second. “I'm thinking 100 in 100.”
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juiceastronaut · 3 years
Text
Okay so. I watched Q-force. And I have no idea what I think about it.
Imma just be rambling so I'll break down the characters and my likes/dislikes about them before giving my plot breakdown at the end. Only the main/prominent ones because I don't have time.
Steve Maryweather-Easily the best character out of them, with Deb being a close second. He could've very easily fallen into the trope of being someone who was incompetent but expected the world anyway, but he doesn't. He graduated top of his class, and despite his quirks is a genuinely competent team leader, and wants the best for his team. He wants to prove that he and his team are competent enough to get recognition, and has a genuine faith in the people around him. It was refreshing to see him hold his team in a genuine high regard, where a lot of times it's like "We're shit but lets do this thing now" He's a genuinely well-rounded character, and (and forgive me if this isn't the best way to frame this) it feels like being gay is an important part of his character, without encompassing the whole thing. I thought Benji and his relationship was super cute and I was sad when they broke up. I was afraid he was going to be, like a second but worse Twink with the stereotyping but gladly fell away from that.
Deb-I thought her and her wife were super cute (though I hate how the wife is designed ngl adjafkldajfd). I liked Debs character, but I feel like she had a lot of racial stereotyping that wouldn't be inherently obvious unless you were looking for them, her being the strong one, and also the "mama" type at the same time. No one treated her with disrespect, and her lesbianism seemed to be more authentic but I feel like there wasn't a lot of thought put into what these tropes were and why they were bad. Her being black and making her the mama type, as well as the big strong type could be read as tasteless. Again, I really liked her character but these were some things I noticed while watching.
Twink- You know, I didn't really like him at first, I thought he was the epitome of all the bad stereotyping (though I'm just glad him and Mary didn't get put into the same category). His humor isn't my taste, and it just kinda seemed like someone for half of his lines went "what twitter stan language can we put in here?" And sometimes it was a bit too random for my tastes. However! I do like that his drag was considered important and was an integral part to a lot of missions they went on, and not just "Ah look at that dumb gay trying to find reasons to dress in drag." His talents and expertise were both respected and, save for Buck (which his whole point was supposed to be offensive anyway) no one undermined Twink for his femininity. His back story is also kinda random but did play a role in the missions as well. Still, personally think he's the worst character. Plus, he's French so minus four-twenties amount of points.
Stat-You know, in a show where everyone was stating what letter they were every few seconds I was surprised that I had to look up that Stat was trans. I...liked her character for the most part, except the part where she was fucking a robot. Kinda weird ngl, outta left field, and with her being trans I wonder if her having that sort of relationship is problematic for her. Love her design tho, love me a hacker girl. She's also listed as "ambiguously gay" tho showed to have mostly girl love interests but, okay.
Buck-He's the straight guy, emotionally repressed haha and he's bigoted. Did think it was funny later on when he was more "accepting" but managed to be even more infuriating about it. Tied with Twink as worse character but you know they tried to do stuff with him.
Vee-Really liked me a boss lady, but kinda weird how they bait-and-switched us with her actually being a lesbian, then go "no she's straight tho" in regards to Karen. I thought her and Mary's relationship was cute, wish I saw more of it. But she did feel like a random plot device in later seasons, what with her disappearing and reappearing when it was plot relevant. (Tho she HOTOHOTHOTHOT bikini episode WOOOWEEEE)
....
Okay, so now the plot....which. it had one?
It felt like it was flip flopping back n forth about whether it wanted to take itself seriously or not, and it seemed to decide on serious more towards the end, but then it would have this random plot element that would be so out of left field it would pull me out of my suspension of disbelief. See the whole "Back cracking to unlock memories" plot point. This back and forth on whether it would be a comedy or not I think weakened both categories it tried to play into.
If I had to compare the show to anything it would probably be Futurama, but the thing with Futurma is, its set in the future, so you're suspension of disbelief is allowed to stretch a bit more because all the wacky quirky stuff can be attributed to future shenanigans. Q-force, to my knowledge, is set in the modern day, which makes the wacky stuff that much wacker, because it's set in our modern times, which you apply the rules of everyday life to.
A lot of the problems that I had with Q-Force is, in the attempt to write specifically about the "gay experience" revealed that the writers have really only had a very specific experience of interacting with gay ppl, what I call the "Urban Gay" experience.
The fact they're in West Hollywood, and all the things that were listed as "universal gay experiences" but were only things that you'd be exposed to if you were in the city. I think a flavor of "white gay" can be implemented here too, which Q force has exactly one black woman, who manages to be the only lesbian.
That coupled with the fact that, there's a difference between having Twink naturally being a drag queen, the whole team being gay to some degree, and the fact they interact with the gay community often without Drawing Attention to all of those things and self-congratulating itself on concluding it. Funnily enough, Q-Force had examples of doing this right and doing this right. Right way: In the second or third episode where Mary found that guy with the flash drive to the uranium in it and seduced him in the gay bar. Relevant that it was gay without overtly drawing attention to it. Wrong-Way: Having Pride go on while Girl Boss was trying to take over the world.
And, for the show that promoted itself as representing the gay experience, there were...two gay men, one lesbian, one trans person, one straight guy and...no bisexual people. Also no nonbinary people. Like of course it's unrealistic to include every single identity but you're one bisexual person who appeared for one episode and was promptly blown up. And also showed to be...more off than the other characters, what with the stealing of silverware and all. Just, bisexual people are already forgotten enough as it is and not including them in the show, but you include two gay men just kinda reads as tasteless to me (as a bisexual person, obviously).
Which makes it so weird that Stat was left "ambiguously gay" when she could've easily been bisexual (which still would be problematic because of the robot-fucking but at least you got the B in there somewhere in the main group)
Overall, it tried to market itself as the "be all end all" of what it was like to be gay, but ended up excluding the exact people that get excluded in real-life lgbt spaces. This combined with the indecision with what kind of show it wanted to be managed to make it fall short. If you arent the very specific type of gay person who lives in a city environment and doesn't fit the stereotypes showed you're not going to feel "seen" by the show.
Weirdly though, I didn't hate watching it, and I would probably watch another season if they managed to make one. The parts that did work, I think worked really well, and even the bad parts just read as tasteless, and not actively terrible. If they focused less on making "hey I'm gay" jokes every three seconds and just let each character be what they are I think the show would be stronger for it. And I think they'd find less problems overall if they did that too. In the mean time I'll just be here side-eyeing the whole thing.
Edit: I forgot to mention, and this is a problem a lot of adult TV shows fall into, that because they got the clear to show nudity/sex they felt like they *had* to show nudity and to a lesser extent sex every episode. So just that whole "Haha adult=sex obviously."
Oh! And this generally goes for the whole "shove it in your face" part, but a lot of the characters who are bigoted were shown to be. Very blatantly so. And not to say there isn't blatantly bigoted ppl of course they are but I don't think that's where you see a lot of bigotry nowadays. This was sort of touched on during the show but more of a jokey manner, but I think it would've been more realistic if we had more "girl with a gay best friend" kinda bigotry as opposed to the "I'm literally hurling slurs at you" bigotry, especially since they're in Cali.
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xoxo-ren-xoxo · 3 years
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Just a small thing that you can definitely ignore if you want and I know this might be bad to say or even selfish but I just.. miss the old Schlatt? not the one who's now doing this content and making hurtful jokes just for money. because every day I'm losing more and more hope that off camera, he's a genuine person?
Or I just want him to improve and become better? I don't know, I know I might be selfish for being like that and I do recognise that parasocial relationships do exist and he is merely a stranger to me but I just want him to become better and to be better. curse me and my heart where I just want the best for everyone, even if I don't know them. c': I think I miss the old Schlatt - because I feel like even this persona he has is not doing him any good?
This might be a thought but you know when you look at someone and you can just see or feel that their mindset is affecting them - especially when it's affecting them negatively? I noticed that with him. Again, I know I'm a mere stranger and I don't know anything about him but even with strangers you can notice this? When he was on a break from that sort of content while he was moving, on the update "I'm Back" video he had a better energy? But when he started to embrace that persona again, his energy is just becoming worse and worse. the only times his energy was better again was when he had the moments with Jambo?
I don't know. I'm just going on a ramble at this point but I just wish he became better?
This is the exact reason I still watch the guy! I completely get where you're coming from, and it can be hard to have these sorts of conversations without speculating about what goes on 'behind the scenes' (something we know Schlatt is uncomfortable with and is possibly one of the reasons he puts on such a contrary persona).
I agree that his content has taken a downturn lately. But I don't think it's the fault of the persona, I think it's the fault of him misusing the persona. Of course he can do whatever he wants, I don't really care cause if he decides he wants to keep being a bastard then that's his problem and I'll stop watching cause that content isn't for me. However, I have some ideas about why the more recent videos have been 'worse':
His heart isn't in it. Jackbox games are fun and all but they aren't the kind of content Schlatt likes to make. In my opinion. His old channel had videoessays, but he's said before that they don't make enough money for him to keep doing that. I think he likes the little slice of life videos more because they're easy and because they're fun. I think the Wii videos were great, well-structured and good examples of well-done satire, but I feel he got a bit bored of it so he tried jackbox, which just isn't the same.
The satire doesn't work with jackbox videos. In the Wii videos it's just him and the game and some props. He plays his character and clearly makes fun of the kind of person he's portraying, or he just makes fun of himself, which is cool too lol. For example in the Wii fishing video, he plays the character of a misogynistic guy who loves fishing and hates his wife. Then proceeds to be terrible at the game and get angry to the point of making himself look like a fool. That's why we laugh! We laugh at the dumbass he's portraying. And obviously this is the same for most of the bits he does. The classic one being the gay Catholic patriot. The unexpected clash of traits makes it funny. With the jackbox vids you don't really get that. It's him and some friends. And yeah, they make fun of themselves and each other, but it has the unwanted side effect of being easy to turn into something that starts to make fun of other people, such as minorities or victims of tragedy, which isn't okay.
Mans is just trying to get a rise out of people. We all know this. The last video was purposefully offensive to try to scare the dream stans away. Which was dumb, and he shouldn't have done it, but I get why he did it. With everything that's happened recently, I'm sure Schlatt doesn't want to be associated with that sort of fanbase. Unfortunately, he went the wrong way about scaring them off.
Moving, the entire thing with lunch club and cmc, getting a cat, and Connor moving in, all while making near-weekly videos, two podcasts, and being on streams. That's a lot to think about, which is probably another reason for the lazier content and falling back on 'easy' jokes that often turn out offensive.
What I'm saying is that I feel he's in a rut. He hit a dead end, tried to fix things, then fell off and made a shitty video as an attempt for controversy. If I'm right, then I feel that he's gonna take a bit of a break (he's already taken a pretty long break if you look at how long it's been since the last video on his main channel) and come back when he's actually ready to do some better content.
The video was bad, and I get why people don't feel comfortable watching him anymore. I've made my peace with it and I'm hoping for some better content soon. But not too soon!
Lots of his friends have spoken about the whole thing, and the general consensus is that yeah, it was bad. I think Connor talked about him and Schlatt seeing a kid watching The Video and Schlatt having this 'oh shit' moment? I might be wrong, if anyone has a link to the clip or stream where Connor talks about this lmk. But regardless, I think mans is taking a break and sorting himself out. There are also rumours he might stream soon but idk idk.
I feel that off-camera he's a completely different person. Minx said she sees it that way, Ty also said he's very respectful and chill off-camera. So I don't think he's a bad person (I don't think he's racist or anti-Semetic, he fucked up but I highly doubt he believes that shit irl and I think claiming that he does is just performative and kinda weird. I understand microagressions are also very bad and can be used by racists/be racist but on their own they do not make you a racist especially if it's poor taste jokes that went too far etc).
You're right though, he definitely wanted to make money. That didn't really work out for him though (if you look at the stats on The Video, it performed terribly) so I doubt it's a mistake he would make again.
For now, if you want to see better content that (I think) reflects Schlatt in a better light (aka he's still doing a bit but he's much more chill and less of a bastard about it) I recommend the chuckle sandwich podcast and sleep deprived podcast. He's on OTK streams a lot too but that sorta thing isn't really for me.
Also stan connoreatspants bringing us Jambo content all the time. 🙌
Idk if that was helpful, but it's more a gesture of solidarity since I agree with and feel everything you're saying. Of course, this is all speculation, please don't spread this as fact because I don't know Schlatt any better than you do. He's just a comfort CC and guy I think is kinda neat when he's not doing dumb shit.
Sorry for the long post. Also, you can disregard the shit I said about racism if you want cause I'm not qualified to talk about it really. There are good points for calling someone a racist for jokes like the ones in the video, but I feel like the rest of the factors should be looked at too since this is a complicated situation. Again, just my opinion, please no hate. If you have a complaint DM me or send an ask. I'm open to hearing other povs.
Have a nice day !
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