#is that not an asexual feeling in a relationship? you feel like you have to have that physical connection

[battlekidx2]

“Do you like girls?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you like boys?”

“I don’t know. I think I like TV shows.”

I remember when I was in middle school all the other girls were talking about the guys they liked and I said I didn’t like anyone. I just wanted to do my own thing.

I didn’t really get why I would want to date anyone. I understood friendship, companionship— having someone to share my interests and mutually info dump to sounded cool— but I struggled to understand the appeal of spending every day and every night with someone else. Of holding hands and going on dates. 

This led to a lot of homophobic bullying and a few of them would act disgusted that I might be into them. Constantly acting like I was looking at their boobs and sexualizing them (I never made eye contact with anyone and would frequently look at the wall or space out while looking in their general direction). Or make a big show of not being interested and many other things.

I didn’t get this either. I didn’t know why I would be interested in any of them. They treated me poorly and I thought attraction was something people made up and simply just claimed to feel towards other people.

Just like I never understood celebrity crushes. You don’t know the person so how could you possibly know you liked them? And I never understood how people “chose” who they dated. Did they just choose whoever they liked hanging out with the most?

But any time I voiced this it was always met with worse and worse reactions. It led to isolation among peers and my family. My parents made it pretty clear I wasn’t who they wanted me to be. That I wasn’t normal.

I soon learned to fake it. Pretend I understood it.

The idea of not being attracted to anyone seemed like a foreign idea to most people I met. Even when I branched out and moved away, I met a few people in the lgbt community who couldn’t grasp it either and reacted poorly and it made me feel stupid. Like maybe I wasn’t just screwed up to people who fit in the neat little box society wants you to fit in, but to everyone else as well.

Maybe I was wrong. If it’s an impossibility even in this community that champions diversity and acceptance then can that really be my reality?

I kept trying to force it. To date, but every time I did I always felt that same skin crawling discomfort and it always petered out. It didn’t matter who it was or what gender. It always felt wrong. It was suffocating.

I don’t think there’s a movie that better portrays that all consuming, suffocating stagnation of feeling so out of place– knowing you’re out of place compared to those around you– and in response forcing yourself to fit what other people expect of you than I Saw the TV Glow.

Whenever I think back to growing up or whenever I return home that same feeling this movie is centered around always drenches my experiences.

And even now it’s hard to put into words when I talk to other people what I’ve felt when it comes to this aspect of my life.

That comment from Owen about knowing there’s nothing there when talking about romance and attraction, but being too afraid to look and knowing that his parents know something is wrong with him hit harder than any other scene from a movie I’ve watched this year.

It’s that absence of something that is at the heart of asexuality that makes me always question what I choose to identify as when I have to explain it to someone. Because for the most part my explanation boils down to (in broad oversimplified terms): I’ve never felt attraction, I’m more interested in watching a Spider-Man movie than I’ve ever been into even just the idea of dating, every time I’ve attempted to date it’s been uncomfortable and I’ve actively dodged anything beyond friendship while in the “relationship”.

And when I try to voice that to another person it always feels like those experiences don’t hold water. That’s describing the absence of something. There’s no real proof of the identity.

With being bi or gay or lesbian there’s something you can I don’t know—point to?— that can help you know your identity.

And that’s the fact that you’ve experienced attraction towards one or more people of one or more genders.

It’s defined not by the lack of something but the presence of an experience.

And so every time I try and explain it I end up feeling stupid. Like I just haven’t tried hard enough to find someone compatible. That I need to get back into the proverbial saddle and try again. I always in some way feel ashamed and backtrack as a result.

This is in no way to say that it’s harder or easier to be one identity or the another. Everyone’s experiences are different and everyone experiences are valid. This is just a struggle I’ve found that’s unique to asexuality that many people I’ve talked to have also experienced.

I haven’t felt that part of my experience be seen in media until I saw this movie. Maybe I’m latching onto what I can get or maybe that was an intrinsic part of the movie. That’s not important. What’s important is that it’s something I felt seen in even if it was literally just one scene.

This is my really long winded and roundabout way of saying that I really think this movie is going to stick with me much longer than any other thing I’ve seen this year.

Things can be hard to put into words and as a result I tend to keep things inside. I’m fairly certain I’m ace but it might turn out I’m on a different romantic spectrum then I thought or I fall somewhere different than I thought on the ace spectrum. I don’t know what I’ll discover in the future.

I’m likely not going to express my label out loud to anyone but a select few. I still can’t express this particular label out loud to many people. My family is definitely never going to hear it. A friend or two might.

It’s something I struggle with on a regular basis. I’m fine with identifying with the label in my head—in a lot of ways it makes me feel comfortable and happy— but any time I try to voice it the words die in my throat and I can’t help but feel ashamed. It’s easier to just tell people I don’t want to date right now. That there are all these factors in the way (finances, time, jobs, etc) than it is to try and explain what I’ve just rambled about above.

I know many people have felt and understood that experience and I hope people know they’re valid. You can express your identity with your full chest, shout it from the rooftops and let people know, or you can keep it to yourself, identifying as your label solely in your head. Both experiences are valid. And if your label changes at some point in your life that doesn’t make what you chose to identify as at this point any less valid too. People are always learning and growing. You can gain a new understanding of yourself as time move forward.

Sorry for the way too long ramble. This movie made me feel things.

#i saw the tv glow #a24 #aroace #asexuality #asexual #ace experience #this is my overly long #thoughts on my own experiences #and how labels can shift #and that your experiences #aren’t more or less valid #if you choose to say it out loud #or identify as it solely in your head #life’s complicated

[shit-my-asexual-friend-says]

So, I recently reblogged a post about the asexual experience and realized that my addition was twice as long as the two other comments combined. This feels a little weird, since of the three posters, I am the one who is not asexual.

However, I am fairly confident that I know why.

The asexual community is regularly shunted to the side in other sex-positivity and queer-positivity movements, which is horrible. One of the side-effects of this, though, is that allosexuals who experience these same types of love and lifestyles - for example, my own bisexual queerplatonic ass - are not only shunted to the side, but basically invisible to the community at large. This isn't just harmful to me. If you read the post, I talk about @why-are-the-allos-like-this and my's shared experience of feeling that our relationship is lesser than any romantic relationship I might be a part of. Which is bullshit. It's not.

Love is love is kind of the slogan of the entire Queer community, but I know I'm not the only one who has had this experience. So I'm telling it to everyone: love is love is a radical idea. Love is love applies to everyone. It applies to me as a bisexual woman who is in love with a man; my love for him does not negate my bisexuality. It applies to me as an allosexual person who is in a queerplatonic relationship; my asllosexuality doesn't destroy that relationship.

When you shunt one part of the community to the side - asexuals, bisexuals, whichever trans identity we're villainizing today (it's always somebody), people who have detransitioned but remain allies, literally anyone - you are erasing a lot more experiences than the ones you have decided are lesser or unimportant. You're also erasing the ones that you literally do not know exist, because you never made a space for them.

To be clear, it is correct and important to give special attention to people who are going through specific extreme challenges. It is also important not to pretend that all of our challenges are the same; I have never faced violence in the way the trans women I know have, for example. Amplifying voices that need amplifying does not need to come with a side dish of invalidating and shouting down the voices that you don't think need amplifying.

#Shout out to: #Trans women who are currently under another fucking wave of accusations #Trans men who are currently being loudly told that they do not actually experience oppression because they are not women #Asexual people who are treated as second class citizens in most queer-friendly spaces because of the overwhelming focus on sex #People who do not know how to self-describe because they were systematically denied access to education #People who are not trans but were pressured to transition and have since detransitioned #Trans people (especially butch lesbians or former butch lesbians) who felt like transitioning would betray some cause #People who are currently in the closet and plan to stay that way long-term #People who experience queerness in a way that doesn't feel as life-altering as it is for the people around you so you keep quiet #queer culture #queer solidarity #asexual #bisexual #queerplatonic relationships #queerplatonic

[traegorn]

So I find the notes on that "Public Sex" poll post hilarious. Like, it's a mixture of people mentioning places they've had sex in public and folks amazed that anyone on Tumblr has ever had sex at all.

Like this isn't 2014. This website isn't largely minors anymore, and from the numbers I found in a quick google search, only like a third of the website users are under 25.

Which, uh, roughly matches up to the number of people who selected the "no, I have not had sex at all" option on the poll.

Which is, y'know, not super weird. That's, like, normal correlation. But what makes it funny is people's amazement at the numbers, because they think their experience on Tumblr is universal. That they have no selection bias based on who they follow. Like, I exclusively follow adults on this site. And while I'm sure some of them have never had sex (let alone public sex), the vast majority have. Because the vast majority of them have been in romantic relationships, and having sex is a very common component of those relationships.

A lot of the asexual people i know who are in committed relationships have at least tried it. That's how some of them figured out they were asexual to begin with.

I will admit I am a little surprised at how shocked so many people are that so many folks have had "public sex" (as defined by the poll), but if you think about if for more than five minutes and consider the limitations on a lot of young people's living situations... sometimes having sex in a car off the side of a back country highway feels a hell of a lot more private than in your supposedly "private" home.

Necessity is the mother of invention and all that.

#And sometimes you get charged by like ten deer after having sex in the woods #I'm very glad I'm not in my early 20s anymore

[oldtvandcomics]

Not to contribute to a Discourse, but I keep seeing the "should we ship Alastor or not" thing, and. Like most other things, it lacks nuance.

It is true, many people don't understand how to write him in a relationship without it feeling very weird and very out of character. But this is also true about most popular ships? The voices of the characters are not right, and they keep acting in a way that is too sweet, too romantic, and the actual dynamic that made that ship interesting in the first place is missing. "He would not fucking say that" is such a popular phrase for a reason.

In Alastor's case, his asexuality is one of the major things that fanfic authors get wrong. Another is his moral grayness, his difficulties expressing (or even noticing) his emotions, and, at least in the Alastor/Lucifer ship (which is what I have been reading) the antagonism of the canon relationship and how they would navigate it with their absurd fight for dominance. And yes, these are definitely problems.

But, as someone who has been bingeing these fics faster than the tag is moving, these are only some of the fics.

And every popular ship has got a lot of bad writing in it.

The good fics, despite being shippy and more often than not, smutty, all acknowledge Alastor's asexuality in some way. It depends on that author, how, but I have seen him confused about this new situation, participating in sex for his own reasons like manipulation and enjoying having control, I have seen what in other fics would be sexual desire replaced with hunger for blood, hunger for power, or desire for closeness, I have seen asexual and aspec authors use him to talk about their own experiences with being sexualized against their will, or to explore what they would and would not be comfortable with doing. I have seen Alastor look for and find ways around his discomforts, using magic and staying clothed and making sure that he is in control.

So I don't know. Are people being weird about him? Heck yes. But I feel like fics, even shippy and smutty ones about Alastor are also doing some actual good, representation-wise. I can only speak for myself, but I can say for certain that watching a powerful, asexual character navigate his way around sexuality has filled a need in me that I didn't even realize that I had.

I'm really not wanting to start any fights here, just, you know. Different angle to look at this from.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #ace representation #asexuality in fandom #radioapple #it definitely helped me to think about some things #I also get how other members of the community are repulsed by this - or any other - ship though #like both statements can be true at the same time #but I usually only ever see the 'stop shipping you creeps' one expressed #so yeah here is mine #fanfictions

[doraambrose]

Do you have headcanons about jason? And what are some tropes you dislike? generally.

Hello friend!

I have SO many headcannons

Jason loves classic literature, but also Gothic literature (Frankenstein, Dracula, Wuthering Heights, The turn of the screw, etc.)

He's also a huge Broadway nerd and he loves phantom of the opera and wicked

I like to think he's an average cook. Like not a chef, but he can follow a recipe and it turns out the way it's supposed to

He's got a bad smoking habit, but doesn't vape or get high

He seems like a beer, whiskey drinker, but I could also see him with a glass of wine too

He probably smells like cigarettes, motor oil, and dove shampoo for men or something like that

He loves antique cars and is remodeling one

He probably doesn't have great teeth. They're probably kind of crooked and yellow since he's probably not regular with brushing and flossing, etc. With missions and almost dying a lot

He loves kids and is really great with them

He's snores

He's not conventionally attractive, but kind of rugged. Like fuller lips, a more gaunt face, bigger nose that's kind of crooked from being broken so many times

He keeps a neat apartment, but it's pretty basic in terms of decorations since he's not there a lot

I also like to think he likes to watch hockey and basketball, but more because I like to watch that stuff lol

He's got super rough hands and fingers

He's got a deeper voice than the other robins, but not gotham knights or Jensen ackles level

He's not an outdoors man, not a camping kind of guy

There's probably more I have that I'm not thinking of, but if I do, I'll add to this for sure.

As for tropes I don't like

Jason and Bruce have a functional father son relationship

Jason is reckless and rude

Any batcest

Anything miraculous or danny phantom

Tim is afraid of jason

Jason and Damian are closer than anyone else and damian calls him akhi, etc

Jason is asexual, trans. Etc. (This one doesn't bother me as much, only because I know it's a projection to make him more relatable to the person making the headcannons, who are usually asexual or trans, so you do you but it's not for me)

Jason is Hispanic (this one also varies, but it feels icky when people who are white like me have this headcannon and no real reason to back it up, like the only reason is because he's the only robin from the ghetto)

Jasons favorite color is red (basic, only because he's the redhood but his actual favorite color is green)

Lazarus pit madness making him the hulk with glowing green eyes whenever he gets agitated (I made a previous post going more in depth with this)

Jason instantly forgives everyone including Bruce for everything they've done to him and vice versa

Again, there's probably more I'm not thinking of and if I do, I'll add to it. If you guys have any of your own, add them below!

Thanks for the ask!

#jason todd #batfam #dc comics #red hood #batman #dc universe #bruce wayne #dcu #dick grayson #nightwing

[shadowandbones]

My favorite scene? Edwin confessing his love for Charles in the most tragic Greek mythology way possible. But also Charles saying they have forever to figure things out.

Translation:

I love you. I will be next to you. I will defend you. But as of right now I don’t feel that way for you yet. But my devotion is real (like man went to hell for him without the best plan). That’s love bitch. But it’s also a different type of love than romantic.

Maybe because I lean (me owner of this blog) on biromantic asexual. That platonic relationships means more to me than romantic ones. Not that I don’t have romantic ships that I’d die for to happen on tv. But my favorite part of this show is the main 4’s friendship and devotion to each other.

They can all easily translate to romantic love but I’ve never watch a show where their platonic friendship was just as strong.

Niko and Edwin. Edwin and Charles. Charles and Crystal. Even Edwin and Crystal (don’t get me started on those two—Charles has a type and it’s a good one)

#anyway renew this show Netflix and give me my found family #dead boy detectives #charles rowland #edwin payne #edwin paine #crystal palace #niko sasaki

[im-a-goddamn-cat]

one of the reasons i love mulder and scully's relationship so much is bc i'm bi ace and they're one of the very few romantic relationships in media that isn't sexual, it feels like unintentional representation to me. there's only like 2 times in the entire series where it's implied that they have sex and you could straight up ignore that and pretend it didn't happen if you wanted to bc it's not relevant at all and it's just that, implied. their romantic relationship is based mostly on friendship and mutual respect and admiration, it's not really sexual at all. it makes me very happy bc there's rarely any romantic relationships in media that don't also involve a sexual aspect and that's very alienating to someone like me who doesn't want to have sex, i only want romance. when i first watched txf a few years ago, i was still in denial about being asexual so i didn't realize why i felt this way then but it felt like a breath of fresh air seeing a relationship like this. it was, and still is, so comforting to see a relationship like this and it was one of the reasons i fell in love with them and still love them years later. they are truly an amazing couple in this aspect and i'm very glad to have discovered them

#lol sorry idk if this makes sense its almost 4 am and i havent slept #but ive had these thoughts in my head for a while and wanted to share #meowing #txf #msr #the x files #sculder #fox mulder #dana scully #ace tag #bi tag #ace #asexual #bi #biromantic #bisexual #queer #lgbt #lgbtqia #lgbt+ #lgbtqia+

[aggressivedaikons]

tbh I think the main reason I really dislike (specifically TFP) MegOp is the fact that people seem to REALLY infantilize optimus in those dynamics, and it’s worse with Orion x Megatronus. Like. He’s a full grown man. OP is depressed and has a lot to deal with. Orion is a a lot snarkier and confident character, just pretty introverted. You see how he behaves in Transformers: Exodus and Orion is just a massive book nerd who has a small group of close friends he hangs out with and goes to the bar with.

All the shipart I see for Optimus is primarily MegOp, and not all, but a lot of it makes optimus all 🥺🥺😳😳🫢🫢 uwu deredere sub ahh (ESPECIALLY ORION PAX). And like. I’m okay with that, it just is a little annoying when that’s half the content the TFP fan base seems to put out and that’s not what I want. (You go like that, just let me complain chill if you don’t like this opinion block me?? Duh) . That’s why I really prefer OptiRatch for my m/m tfp ships. They are both treated like grown men, and optimus (usually) is just a little softer than he is around others with Ratchet and I think that’s honestly PERFECT. Especially from an aro/ace perspective where I headcanon everyone as such why can’t they just be platonically in love and go to eachother for affection??? Aligned cybertronians are canonically asexual to begin with.

Anyways what I’m getting at is the reason I like OpLita and JuneOp is because:

OpLita - Let’s optimus be the one lesser in charge because he has someone who is fiercely protective of him in the form of his wife. Bonus points for being mostly canon and like bro I love them together they compliment each other’s personalities perfectly.

JuneOp - Ok one of my two tf rare pairs I have feel so dissapointed that there isn’t enough content for. Hear me out, they’re platonic partners in more of a QPR than anything else in an alterous relationship because they are both overworked and stressed parents who end up coparenting team prime. Optimus just needs someone who can relate to the struggle of other’s life being in the his hands and someone he can basically complain to. June’s husban left and she just needs someone to at least fill the emotional void it left, and it’s already confirmed that she had a bit of a thing for him lmao.

anywyas thanks for coming to my Ted talk about optimus getting bitches tyvm

#transformers #tfp #tfp optimus prime #tfp June darby #june darby #optimus prime #oplita #juneop #shipping discourse #but in a civil way

[the-great-kraken]

if you see a male character kiss a male character, you assume they are gay.

if you see a female character kiss a female character, you assume they are a lesbian.

if you hear a character say they don't feel like their gender, you assume they are trans.

so why do a-spec characters have to jump through so many loops?

a character saying they've never had a crush or don't want a relationship or that they don't understand romantic love is so often ignored or used as fodder for other queer or autistic headcanons (reinforcing stereotypes that aroace people are secretly gay or always autistic)

why is it that our stories are always "up to interpretation"? why do we have to wait for the words aromantic or asexual to be said to be taken seriously? why is it that even when characters say they don't want relationships, fans will scream and cry about sex/romance favourable aspecs and qprs?

when it comes to gay and trans characters, even the likes of bisexual lighting is often treated as though it canonises their sexuality. for aroace characters, even the most explicit coding possible is swept under the rug in favour of other "interpretations"

i'm so tired of fighting for representation just to have it ignored and minimised by fans. let characters be aroace. please.

#obviously there are a ton of circumstances where the qpr and sex/romance favourable is completely fine #but when characters explicity say they dont have sex or dont want relationships it feels so hollow #fandom is fandom and there is nothing i can do to stop you shipping or writing smut or headcanoning or whatever #but please just think it through. the characters aren't real but there are so many geniunely harmful ideas doing stuff like this reinforces #rhi rambles #aroace #aromantic #asexual #a-spec #a spec #aspec #aro #ace #aspec representation #asexual representation #aromantic representation #lgbtq+ #queer

[arofulboyfriend]

I feel like sometimes, aro/ace/aroace positivity posts can accidentally exclude us non gold star holders, so reminder:

if you are ace and have had consensual sex in the past but don't want it anymore, you are still ace

if you are aro and have had a romantic relationship in the past but don't want one anymore, you are still aro

yes, even if the "past" was last week, yes, even if these things happened while you were already identifying as ace/aro/aroace, yes, even if you enjoyed them, yes, even if you didn't, yes, even if you're neutral, yes, even if you'd be willing to try again. (and of course, aces/aros/aroaces who still do those things/have those relationships are just as ace/aro/aroace as the rest of us)

and especially

yes, even if you are sex and/or romance repulsed now

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #arospec #aroacespec #aromantic positivity #asexual positivity #aroace positivity #seren yaps #im not a gold star holder and have had sex and romantic relationships but im sex repulsed and romance neutral now #and sometimes i feel very much like a faker because of it #gold star rhetoric is hurtful and dangerous #so this is as much a positivity post for me as it is for all yall #i love u (platonically) #i appreciate you (for the loveless among us)

[knifearo]

aspecs: i've been thinking a lot lately about the "ace people can still have sex in a relationship/aro people can still be in romantic relationships" sentiment and the logistics of being aspec in relationships in general. obviously, the predominant sentiment is that you should be able to have a relationship where the other person will be happy without having sex/being romantic with you. if you feel comfortable sharing in tags/replies/reblogs/asks/whatever, though, i'd really like to hear people's experiences with sex/romance in relationships as an ace/aro person. have you found it generally possible to have a relationship with an allo person when you're ace and don't want to engage in sex? what are people's experiences being aro and being in relationships (labeled romantic or otherwise) with alloros? reblogging for reach is appreciated and any related experiences you feel comfortable sharing are completely welcome <2

#aspec4aspec relationship experiences welcome too obviously. not specifically what i'm looking for here but i always love to hear ab it haha #please do pass this on if you feel inclined. i'm looking to get like. survey reach. y'know. #curious is the wrong word but i'm thinking a lot about aspec people in relationships after that last big post i made #and i really want to have a better idea of what it's really like for people. #not so much curiosity as desire to understand. material for better allyship to my aspec siblings who engage in relationships like that. #care very deeply for you guys i want to facilitate a better understanding of aspec experiences for everyone <3 #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #aroace #aspec #talking #asexual #ace #asexuality #acespec #aro

[gayvampyr]

“queer spaces should be inclusive of people who don’t enjoy sex and who have “strange”, negative or repulsed relationships with sex” and “sex is an important aspect of lgbt community, history, and activism and queer people should be allowed and able to talk freely about sex without stigma or shame” are ideas that can and should coexist.

#‘queer people were banned from and shamed for having sex and that’s where a lot of our activism stemmed from’ and #‘not liking or having sex is considered abnormal and a mental illness and also needs to be destigmatized’ are concepts that not only can but #often do coalign #it’s esp important to consider that a lot of lgbt ppl who have a tricky and strained relationship with sex are like that because of trauma #which is very common for queer folks #it’s really not an ace-only thing #like i am sex repulsed but it’s very hard to discern if it’s because i’m asexual or if it’s the trauma. either way i deserve to have those #feelings and be included in lgbt spaces and discussions about sex and treated as just another queer person with a different experience #instead of being alienated because my feelings about sex don’t directly line up with yours #im so sick of people in this community trying to pit us against each other. as an ace lesbian that shit is so toxic and harmful #my relationship with sex is fluid. im sex-positive always‚ but i often find myself sex repulsed. im otherwise neutral about it but im sick #of people acting like it’s either you enjoy sex and have it frequently or you hate it and you shame everyone who has it like youre a puritan #and it’s often aphobes who bought into that ‘aces are puritanical celibate straights who want ppl who have gay sex to die or think they’re #‘dirty’ or some shit. and it was literally 90% crypto-aphobes pretending to be aces to get people to adopt that into their belief system #the same way crypto-t/rfs pretend to be trans women who want to prey on the ‘innocent women’ #and y’all will use those posts/screenshots as ‘evidence’ that whatever scapegoat you’ve selected is actually inherently bad/homophobic/ #misogynistic/etc and not even #acknowledge the giant hole in your logic cuz you’re too busy trying to find a scapegoat #it’s the same tactics and y’all fall for it every time #text post #like. lesbians are CONSTANTLY getting hounded and told that we’re broken or mentally i’ll for not showing interest in (having sex with) men #for the same reason asexuality is considered bad or wrong or weird #not showing interest in heterosexual relationships or sex is why this is so important #anyone that falls outside the scope of heterosexuality is part of this community whether you like it or not

[mintaikcorpse]

Me reading a fic where the person had an identidy realization that they were in he aroace spectrum and now they were figuring themselves out(I finally found something that understood me and a romance I could relate to after all these years)

#love loses! you're on the aroace spectrum and you dont fucking know what you are but you're definitely on the spectrum #but it's so hard to explain bcuz how do youve never had a real crush on someone but also have had platonic feelings for someone #and dont want to do the romance thing but also still want to have a queer platonic relationship and do romance things? #YOU DONT #IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO ME BUT I JUST KNOW #ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I CANT JUST GET CRUSHES ON PEOPLE IT TAKES YEARS I'VE ONLY HAD 1 CRUSH THROUGHOUT MY LIFE #AND I JUST WANTWD TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM #I thought that was just me but the author was projecting and explained perfectly what i was going through #and ik i say “I cried” a lot when talking about something but i did actually cry #had to put my phone down bcuz it felt so nice to be understood #idk just venting and rambling lol #aroace #ace spectrum #gotta keep a journal on this bcuz i want to explain to people but it's so hard for even me to grasp #and i feel like they won't believe me anyways bcuz ive tried to himt st it but i just get weird looks #its annoying but it is what it is #aromantic #asexual #lgbt #queer #talking #rambling

[crescentfool]

having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

#persona 3 spoilers #minato arisato #hc and au nonsense #lizzy speaks #happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳 #i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at- #him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know? #and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^ #something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls #you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations #and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4 #and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are... #that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!) #the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES #objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written #but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently #specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship #it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc #it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but #eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses! #regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself- #into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here. #the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go #“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons #anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍 #have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙

[redysetdare]

listen when we say we need aroace rep - we MEAN we need AROACE REP. becuze shock of all shocks, a character being just ACE is not aroace rep! same with a character being just aro is not aroace rep. not all aroace ppl see their aro and ace identities as separate.

I for one, find it difficult to separate my aro and ace identities from each other which is why i am AROACE and not aro and ace. A character being only ace is not representing me. I do not feel represented by only an ace character. they are not even half representing me because my asexuality goes hand in hand with my aromantisism. and Ace character is not half representing aroace people. I'm sorry but i do not relate to the alloace experience because i am not alloace. so a character being only ace is not relatable to me because they are not aroace. the same goes for if a character was only aro or aroallo.

Now before anyone decides to misinterpret this post to hell and back I'm not saying that aroallo or alloace rep is bad or shouldn't exist. I'm saying stop throwing aroace rep under the bus because "Actually we need more just aro/just ace rep" as if that somehow solves the issue of aroace rep being nonexistent.

#text #aro #aroace #ace #aromantic #asexual #aspec #also if i see someone be like 'ok but all ace rep is aroace they just call it ace' im going to strangle u #if they call it ace then it is ace!!!! it is not magically aroace because u decided thats what they REALLY meant #yeah society doesnt recognize aro as an identity but that doesnt mean that all ace characters are ACTUALLy aroace im going to explode u #im just tired of it being thought that aroace ppl have it so much better and dont need rep as much as just aro or just ace ppl #im tired of aroace ppl getting thrown under the bus because we are aro and ace and so obviiously we get double the rep or some bs #if you think this is about a post you are wrong it is about many posts all saying the same thing #because even in our own communities aroace ppl are the punching bags #because no matter where we go ppl are shit talking part of our identity or treating it as less than #i swear the communities focus on fully separating aro and aceness has been more detrimental than helpful #it's gotten to a point yall think there cant be any overlap ever and have sorta pushed aroace ppl out of both communities #because 'you cant bring ace experiences into aro spaces! not everyone who is aro is aroace!' #'you cant bring aro experiences into ace spaces because not all aces are aro! we can feel love and have relationships!!!' #basically ignoring the nuance and overlap our communities have in order to try to be seen as independent identities. #idk i miss when we would work together and understand each identity as different but also see that there was similarities and overlap

[waterberry-strawmelon]

just gonna go ahead and say this in advance—

if Riz does indeed come out in junior year, and he says, “I’m ace” or “I’m asexual” when referring specifically to his lack of romantic attraction, aromantic people are allowed to be upset about it.

#because yes of course some people irl say ace to mean both bc that’s how they personally identify #but in fictional media the distinction is necessary. especially with how few canonically aromantic characters even exist in ANY mainstream/ #popular media. #I assure you I’m not invalidating anyone who is ace and they mean that to include lack of romantic attraction. #But to look at this from a MEDIA PERSPECTIVE its irresponsible to do this w/out clarification that they also know the word aromantic exists #because otherwise that’s just a conflation of asexual and aromantic without any nuance #and an erasure of aromantic people who are not asexual. #Plus—name a single fucking time a character in mainstream/popular media has said the word aromantic. #Because I can name several instances where they say asexual. But I can’t think of ONE where they say aro or aromantic. #(Maybe that Isaac kid does in season 2 of Heartstopper? But I haven’t seen it so I’m not 100% sure.) #anyways. #the way this fucking fandom—and ANY fandom with a canon aro character—discusses the aromantic spectrum #is blatantly just to remove their own personal guilt for shipping that character with other characters and erasing their orientation. #because yes aromanticism IS a spectrum!! But when people talk about fabriz and say ‘he can still be ace!’ (Which is aro erasure) or #‘he can still be aro!’ They never SHOW riz still being aro or having any kind of complex relationship with romance. #I’m angry and I’m allowed to be. #I get that a ship you liked may be hard to let go of or something #But I’d be much less mad if all the fabriz fans said ‘yeah I know Riz is aro in canon and he and Fabian would never get together. #I just like to imagine it sometimes in fiction/fanon!’ Then that would be a WHOLE different conversation #Because then they’d at least be acknowledging that riz doesn’t feel romance in canon. That fabriz is something that actively #Goes against the canon characterization of one of those characters—and that’s fine. Just fucking ACKNOWLEDGE IT. #But most of these people either WANT fabriz to be canon/believe it WILL BE canon #OR I guess feel uncomfortable confronting the fact that they ARE erasing riz’s aromanticism so they don’t even acknowledge it at all. #fhjy #fantasy high #d20 #dimension 20 #riz gukgak #aromantic riz gukgak #fhsy