#it can't be possible for one person to fulfill every single need

[eebie]

#i personally feel like it's somewhere in between #like sexuality and gender i think it's where you decide to choose what label your experiences/feelings fall under #it's decided between the two people in the relationship #like intimacy can exist in every kind of relationship and it's upsetting to hear people say it can only happen in romantic ones #if i were in a relationship with someone i trusted Who had an intimate relationship with someone else #if i really trusted that person i'd have no problem with it Unless it very clearly started to affect our relationship #i don't think i'd call myself a very jealous person #maybe a little envious but not jealous lol #i think restricting intimacy to one person isn't very. healthy? i don't know #like there should be other people too. support networks #we're a social animal yknow ? #it can't be possible for one person to fulfill every single need #that's an unhealthy expectation that can put a strain on many relationships i think #there's a reason spider webs are made from joined threads of silk #they don't dangle from a single piece They'd get blown away in the wind #reason why i bring this up now is bc i just discussed this with my parents who hold very traditional views #idk how i ended up being so different from them LMAO #thanks steven universe i guess!!!

[morlock-holmes]

I often see people talking about how capitalism is great because it's the best way to get people what they need.

But, okay, so like in a Capitalist free market, supply and demand are always going to be somewhat divorced from need for as long as labor itself is subject to supply and demand, right?

I mean, am I crazy here? This seems inevitable to me but a lot of advocates for capitalism act like it isn't true for reasons I can't understand.

Like, I don't make much money, because I do unskilled work. Unskilled work is work where you can train the vast majority of people to be competent at the job within a few days (As opposed to, say, a neurosurgeon, who needs more than 18 hours of training shifts). This means that the supply of labor is high even relative to large demand, which means that in turn the price at which I can sell my labor is low.

What sort of makes me itch is that if I phrase things like that without any political agenda, most evangelists for capitalism will say, "Yeah, broadly you're exactly right."

Okay, but that means that if money is a signal of "need", then I have less ability to signal need than a skilled worker.

Suppose me and Jeff Bezos both get the same kind of cancer, and we both have the same odds of survivability from the same treatment. The treatment costs one million dollars.

Are we to say that the fact that I don't have one million dollars indicates that I need cancer treatment less than Jeff Bezos, who would pay without thinking?

That's a completely perverse definition of what it means to need things!

The only way to get out of that would be to advocate for a radical blank slate theory, in which every single person is equally capable of doing a high skilled job, and has consciously chosen not to do so.

This is just, like, obviously not the case. Like, at the very least you have to deal with unmedicated schizophrenics, people with learning disabilities, people getting chemotherapy or other medical treatments that make them too weak to work, and furthermore a lot of people who are the most "rah rah" for capitalism are also somehow the least inclined towards blank slate theory, and are often advocates of fairly rigid views of human potential who are happy to argue that some people are just incapable of doing skilled work.

But like... Because of how labor works Capitalism is going to be not very good at fulfilling the needs of unskilled workers, even if the market is otherwise working in a very idealized and efficient fashion, let alone the world we actually have with things like inherited wealth.

Now, I would argue that capitalism can be bad at fulfilling the needs of low-skill workers even when society is producing enough surplus that it is possible to fulfill their needs.

PS - This doesn't mean that supply and demand are entirely unmoored from human desire either, that's not what I'm arguing.

[mccnstruck]

for forever, never yours.

characters: kazuha x gn!reader

tags: hurt no comfort, angst, mutual pining but you never get together, kazuha has commitment issues LMFAO, short fic, kissing

a/n: if you saw this before....no you didnt. HAHA but i reposted it because this wouldnt show up on any tags whatsoever and i need validation but anyways ENJOY

Your body shook rapidly, and had it not been for the individual in front of you, you would have thought of the house to be cold. Yet, the cold winds outside couldn't bear to strike your heart, as his quiet, unsweetened words did.

Your hands encaptured his, and you lowered your head to avoid his pitiful gaze.

“Please, Kazuha. I know you like me. I've seen the letters. I'm not blind to the way you look at me. Please.”

Refusing to let him see your tears, you failed to notice the accompanied shine in his eyes.

“You know I cannot fulfill your wish, my star.”

You shot your head up.

“Why…just why?! If you have the ability to write about my presence with words so sweet it hurts, then why can't you say it to me right now? Why can't you confess to me right now?”

You paused your outburst and lowered your head in desperation. Tears pricked your vision.

“Why call me ‘my star’ when I can't even be yours…?”

For the first time in your acquaintance with Kazuha, you had finally got him to become undoubtedly, utterly speechless. Yet, no sense of acknowledgement or reward eased the burning pain in your heart.

A silence of sadness drowned your heart in longing, yet the very person you longed for was so close…

And yet…so, so far.

“I… I cannot make you mine. I've dreamt of your eyes sharing the very yearning I've held in my heart. Your hands have held my own in a way that no one else would be able to. Yet, you know of my position. I cannot stay here.”

“I'm not trying to stop you, Kazuha, I was never going to stop you. I just want you. Have you thought of that?”

“I have thought of it–time and time again. That is entirely the issue, star.”

His hands left yours and gently cradled your jaw, enough for you to look back at his glimmering eyes and the aching sorrow filling his words.

“I cannot burden you with that unknowing of my presence. You deserve to belong in the arms of someone who can kiss you goodnight and stay to kiss you good morning.”

Your voice cracked, and you wondered how long he had rehearsed these words, this dialogue, in his head. For as much as you gazed your eyes over the letters you found, you never found the sad goodbye of what could have been lovers.

“I don't care about how long I will have to wait until I can see you again. Hell, I don't care if I don't see you for years! I just… I just want to be yours. I just want to know that I was yours. That you would think of me as yours.”

Kazuha’s eyes widened, and he struggled to find words to ease your heart.

“I…You have to understand, Kazuha. My heart will ache, regardless. Yet, do not leave me with the possibilities of what could have been. What we could've been.”

Kazuha paused to let your words etch itself onto his skin.

“I cannot burden you with me. However, I will be here in your arms for one night more. I will be yours tonight.”

You stayed silent, staring into his crimson eyes.

Oh, how love, burning with a passionate red, could leave such an aching pain in your heart. Love blends in with the blood pulsing through your veins; it becomes one with your blood. It creeps into the heart, and the heart bursts with desire; it is fueled with a purpose. But love could be very much fatal. Love will be stripped from your being; and when your heart deems it as necessary, it will burst out of your ribs, begging for it back.

Love is found in Kazuha’s crimson, knowing eyes.

“Kiss me.”

And love is found when he hadn’t hesitated to oblige to your request.

He kissed you so feverently, desperately holding on to your presence. His hands traced your cheeks, noted every mole, every single detail, until he could vividly recall your face behind his eyelids.

He felt your hands bring him closer, and felt your tears become heavier. Yet he knew he had no right to wipe them away when they were the reflection of his choices.

You tried to pull away, but he only pulled you back in. He kissed your cheeks, your nose, your temples. When his lips hovered over yours, he spoke.

“Find me once more, take me by the hands, and I promise to you I will kiss you with every single vow of staying.”

He leaned in even closer, and felt your breath on his.

“Will I be able to find you in every universe, Kazuha?”

“Absolutely. For if there is a universe without you, what is there for me to live for?”

He leaned to kiss you once more, and you let him. For you both know that he would leave without his heart in the morning; and that you would stay in your empty abode; your heart will burst to see a glimpse of a shadow that would never be yours.

mccnstruck

#recovered_literature_! #astronetwrk #・ nouveau livre ˎˊ˗ #kazuha x reader #kazuha x you #kaedehara kazuha x reader #kazuha x gender neutral reader #kazuha x y/n

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ N o t e ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ Merry Christmas! I know I'm a bit late, but i hope you'll enjoy this nonetheless. Comments and reblogs are not necessary, but they are highly appreciated ♡;

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ P a i r ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ Leon Kennedy x F!Reader;

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ P l o t ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ One night, when Leon can't handle the loneliness, he decides to visit you at your office;

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ T a g s ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ smut, cheating, unprotected sex;

Check my Patreon for early content ♡

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ W o r d c o u n t ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ 2.1k

Weeks passed since Leon felt the touch of your skin. Staring at the ceiling in his dull bedroom, he tried to ignore the burning need that spiked throughout his body. You were the only person who could ease his pain, but because of the circumstances, you weren’t available for him.

He was constantly checking his phone, hoping for a sign from you, but he'd toss the device in bed every single time.

“What to do..." He kept asking himself, trying to find a way to climb up from the pit that he was slowly falling into.

The reason for this situation was your relationship with Wesker. You two were together long before you met Leon. You loved Wesker, you really did, and you didn’t want to cheat on him, but he was so busy with his work, and that made you feel like you two were falling apart. You started to work with Leon; your missions would synch frequently, and because of that, you started to get to know each other better. Whenever you felt alone, Leon was there for you, and he instantly cheered you up with his jokes and positive attitude. He fulfilled your need over and over, and soon you two would spend the nights together, not just to fill up paperwork.

Because Wesker would figure it out really quickly if something was off, you were the one to call Leon whenever your boyfriend was away from work. However, it’s been weeks since he last saw you, and he was losing his mind.

Being driven by loneliness and desire, he picked up the phone again and called your secretary to ask if you were at the office. It was a risky move, one that will probably infuriate you, but he couldn’t care less about your tantrums.

"Yes, she is there, working on some reports.” She said. A faint sound of typing was heard during the call. She probably worked on something.

The building was almost empty since it was Saturday night. He crossed the hallway in a hurry, waving and smiling to the few who were there.

“I need to take some papers.” He said smiling.

Arriving in front of your office, he hesitated for a few seconds, but hearing your voice made him almost break the door.

His eyes searched for you relentlessly in the poor, illuminated room. When he found you, hunched at your desk looking at the laptop while talking on a phone, a dumb smile appeared on your face. In the dim light of the laptop, he could see the frown on your face as you saw him.

You took a short pause, then continued your conversation as normal as you could without giving the other person the impression that something was wrong, but your tone became rapid and your voice a little pitched.

He quickly entered and shut the door behind him.

By the look of his face, you knew he didn’t come to discuss work. He looked like a lost, sad puppy, looking to be loved.

You hung up quickly and rose from your desk, heading to Leon.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Are you insane?” You gestured with your hands, anxiety taking over. “What if Wesker walks in?”

“I asked your secretary before coming here; I’m not an idiot.” He said it in the most innocent and needy voice possible, making you ease up a bit.

“Still, you know how dangerous it can be. Please leave.” You said, turning your back at him and heading to your desk, pretending to organise some files. It hurt; you wanted to jump into his big arms and entangle with his body. It took an incredible amount of self-control to turn and ignore him, to ignore your throbbing heart and the heat that was rising.

You wanted to call him; you wanted to see him, but it was too risky since Wesker has spent more time with you lately. You waited for him to leave on his own, hoping he’d go soon.

Leon let out a loud sigh and looked at you with big, sad eyes. His heart throbbed again, bearing the same draining loneliness that pushed him to commit such a risky act.

Both of you sat in complete silence for a few minutes. Your phone rang two times, but you ignored it. Against your better judgement, you wanted him to do something that contradicted your arrangement. You wanted him to jump on you, to ignore this facade you were putting up, and it seemed like he read your mind.

His eyes began to study your beautiful figure, which was highlighted thanks to the tight clothes you were wearing. The tight shirt accentuated your waist, and that black mini skirt you wore left nothing to the imagination. Oh, how much he missed your curves! How much he missed touching you…

He began to move in your direction slowly, as if he were afraid that you would run away. He gently placed his hands over your shoulders and rubbed them down over your arms, feeling your tensed muscles relax under his touch.

“Leon…” you said, trying to push him away once more with the little reasoning you had left. In fact, you were starting to become intoxicated by his mere presence.

“I missed you so much…” he whispered as he leaned over you, pressing his body over yours. His head rubbed against yours, inhaling the sweet perfume that used to make him mad. He pressed his lips over your forehead, drowning in your scent, and allowed his body to react purely on instinct.

“I know… I missed you too…but this is not the time or place...please leave…”

He didn’t say a word; instead, he let his actions speak for him. His lips went lower, kissing your cheek until he boldly placed a lingering kiss on your neck. Feeling his warm breath on your neck, you let out a long sigh as you tiled your head to give him more space.

“Persistent bitch…” you whispered, and his little chuckle blessed your hearing.

With half-lidded eyes, his hands went to explore the curves of your body, small grunts escaping from his lips as he felt drowsy from pleasure.

He kept puffing and groaning in your ear with every move. His lips would occasionally kiss your neck as he indulged with you. Feeling yourself getting weaker, you placed your hands on the wooden desk as this touch intoxicated you. Doing so, you rubbed your ass over his crotch.

“Leon…” you said, no longer denying the fact that you needed him.

“I don’t care if Wesker catches us.”

He said while one hand reached your hips.

“And I don’t care if your secretary tells him I was here.”

“Leon…” you said as you felt his hand lift your skirt, exposing your ass to him.

“He can watch for what I care.”

His fingers gently tapped over the warmth of your core, thought your panties, feeling the soaked fabric with his fingertips.

Every rub and every motion sends waves of pleasure throughout your body. You kept pushing your core over his fingers, synchronising your hips with his movements. You were so desperate for his touch that even the slightest motion made you moan.

“I missed you so much…” he muffled with his head buried in your neck, inhaling the sweet scent of the perfume that was starting to wear off, being replaced with the natural scent of your skin.

You could feel a hand making its way up to your chest. His fingers struggled to push the fabric apart, and when they successfully exposed your breast, they began to play with it in a rough, desperate manner.

“Fuck…” His teeth sank into your flesh, and his grip on your breast tightened, causing you to flinch.

“Sorry babe….” He whispered in your ear. “I’ll try to be more gentle.”

Before you could remind him that it wasn’t wise for you to return to your boyfriend with hickeys and bruises on your body, he pushed your panties aside and began to search for your clit. Your pussy was so wet that his fingers were shortly coated in your juices.

His hand moved from your breast to your neck, his grip tightening as he pushed two fingers inside.

“So wet for me…” he said as he twisted and curled his fingers so slowly, as he was enjoying your squirms and moans.

Even if it’s been so long since you two were intimate, his touch didn’t become foreign. It felt refreshing, as if you were reunited with a long-lost lover.

His hand remained on your neck as he kept thrusting. He was so deep now, and it felt like he was exploring you for the first time.

The more he’d thrust, the less you’d try to control yourself. Gripping the desk and pushing your ass back, you began to synch your hips with him, chasing your own pleasure. You didn’t care how loud you’d become; you just wanted to let him know how good he made you feel.

“Fuck yes…” you said, feeling a third finger entering you.

“Not so stressed anymore, huh?”

“Shut up.”

His fingers went in and out of your puffy, slick cunt with ease, and they would be engulfed with each move. You didn’t realise until now how much you missed him.

“Leon…” you called out his name as you eagerly brought a hand to your back and searched for his pants. You wanted something much bigger to fill you.

With the hand he used to pleasure you, he quickly unzipped his pants and pulled out his erect cock. Its head was swollen and already leaking, and when your warm hand wrapped around him, he let out a much louder whimper than he had expected.

You guided him to your entrance, and when he pushed the first few inches, you collapsed back on the wooden surface as you began to feel full already. Oh, how much you missed him—his touch, his presence. He was simply intoxicating.

“That’s right, you’re so good for me.” He grabbed your hips as he began to pump into you like a madman. With his head thrown back, he kept calling your name as he got lost in pleasure. You took him so well, so easily. Your cunt alone made him push all the reasoning aside and return to primal instincts.

“Babe…” he said between moans.

The room was filled with filthy, sinful noises of slapping sounds and whines.

Leon made the mistake of looking down at you. He saw that ass jiggling with every thrust and his cock sliding in and out of you, which made his knees tremble.

“You’re perfect; you knew that?” He said it between grunts as he quickly slapped your ass.

“Uh..uhh” you tried to say an “yes” but instead you let out inaudible sounds.

He picked up the pace, going so deep until your pussy would engulf his dick completely.

“Fuck…I think imma…”

It didn’t help that you were approaching your orgasm too, as your walls contracted around him, driving him to the edge.

His pace got more erratic, and soon you felt hot, thick spurts inside you.

The room was suddenly silent, with only your heavy breaths being heard. Leon still had his hands on your hips, but the grip was lighter.

He pulled out, his cum oozing from your tired cunt down your thighs.

He spent a few seconds admiring his work until reality hit him. It was late, so late, and your boyfriend could appear soon. He didn’t regret his actions, tho.

Leon searched for some tissues to clean up some of his mess. His fingers tried to clean as much as he could his soft cock. Seeing that you needed some time to regain your composure, he quickly tried to help. You flinched when you felt the tissue between your exhausted, sensitive folds.

“Easy now.” He said as he rubbed your lower back. After that, he helped you fix your appearance; he pushed down your skirt and fixed your shirt.

“That was…bold.” You said it after your mind was getting clear.

“I know…I’m sorry…” he said in a soft tone as he wrapped his arms around your body. You rested your head on his chest and closed your eyes. You didn’t want him to go. All of this was so wrong, and yet it seemed like neither of you could stop. You enjoyed the thrill and the risk of getting caught.

You let out a long exhale.

“I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Really?” He asked in a surprised voice.

You didn’t want to put an end to it, at least not yet. You would consume him over and over until one of you grew tired of the other or until Wesker figured it out. It felt too good to let go.

“If you don’t want it, I won’t call you.”

“No, no, it’s not that. I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

Tomorrow was good; he is out of town. This affair leaves a bitten taste in your mouth sometimes, but Leon’s touch is just too good.

#resident evil #resident evil 4 remake #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x you #resident evil 4 #leon kennedy x f!reader

[bangytell]

Two people who were always together are now torn apart That's all there is to this story. Winters story — Given

Summary: The past can always see its way to catch up, nothing a song can't help with.

Genre: fluff, angst

Rated: sfw

Pairing: Satoru x reader

Word Count: 2.4 k

Warnings: mentions of su!c!de, angst and fluff only, f!reader, gs! adolescent, mentions of Nanami and Haibara and also Geto, based on given universe and the song mafuyu writes.

a/n: hope you like it, just fluff and angst like that beautiful anime i recommend you watch after or before this, or even if you've seen it already watch it again hahaha, click on the name of the song just to feel the whole environment. I couldn't bring myself into putting a tittle.

Your heavy pounding heart on your chest, the muffled noise of the crowd, and the guitar strands on your fingertips as the drums lead the way through the song.

Sing through your heart, you remember as those glowing sapphire eyes pierce into you.

There was something pulling you through memories while making every chord sound in the melody that makes you feel something again that brings you back to him. 

Suddenly, you're back to high school passways when a guitar case caught your attention. 

"Do you happen to know how to play the instrument you're carrying?" With glowy and hopeful eyes, you approach the person that caught your eye 

"I do…" he answers, looking away, and then returning his gaze back at you. "You're new here, right?" You deny 

"Can you fix a guitar?" he looked at you mistrustful, and with a puzzled expression, he nodded.

You grab his hand and pull him to get to the staircase where almost nobody is crosby.

"Meet me here tomorrow at lunch" you plead, and he can't seem to comprehend you at all "Please" 

"What for?" he questions 

"I need to fix a guitar, but i didn't brought it with me this time" the person nods and you're hoping that he will agree "Tomorrow at lunch, and i would just help you with that" you nod and he doesn't give you time to answer before he's lost again in the crowds of the hallway.

The next day, you're sitting with that big guitar case next to you when your gaze catches with those sapphire eyes.

You're actually thrilled that he fulfilled his promise and that he's helping you while he looks with an arched brow to the guitar you possess.

"You play this?" You deny, and the confused expression doesn't leave his face."How did the chord just pop?" 

"Sorry, I did it," and he notices by the way your tone sounds that you don't feel like talking about it.

After he replaced the chord and your gaze pierced him  through every movement he made, he passed his fingers, making a soft note escape the contraption. 

Your eyes opened in amazement, and you came as close as you could possibly be. Your hot breath touched his face while you pleaded that he needed to teach you how to play. 

He denies you, and you're back at your place with a soft pout while putting the tools he just used away.

And before he leaves, at the peek of the passway, he asks you "Why do you want to learn?" Your face in a total plead when the words found its way through your dry throat 

"Because I feel like there's a melody in my heart that needs to escape me."

At that moment, he thought that wasn't an answer he was expecting, but he looked satisfied as he sat down and brought your fingers to the instrument, and that was when the lessons began. 

With every ring of the bell, you'll go and look for him at his classroom, where he seemed to be asleep. As soon as you called his last name, he would grab his guitar case and go directly to you. 

Gojo Satoru wasn't exactly the type of classmate to be participative; his circle of friends was rather close, and he would only speak when he felt the need to. 

 Satoru was the only friend you had at school, his natural charm was like a magnet to almost every girl if not every single one of them. 

He was intrigued by you and the peculiar ways that you have. Your fingers started to soar, and little cuts caused by the chords adorned your fingertips, but you couldn't stop practicing every day. 

Your progress on the instrument was very successful. He could notice that light within you every time it began to sound more and more like a melody. 

Summer break was around the corner, Satoru, and you were… friends. If you had to put a finger into a name for your situationship.

"Have you noticed that girl that comes for Satoru every day?" one of his classmates asked as his head was stuck to the desk 

"You think he has a crush on her?" One of the many girls in his classroom asked as well."I bet I can make him wake up. " 

"Bet " said the same classmate 

"Hey!... Satoru, wake up." he remains at the same spot, and the guys around the girl begin to laugh."Satoru c'mon" 

Suddenly, you shout his name from the door. He grabs his case and walks to you, leaving the girl in embarrassment.

As you two play each of your instruments together, he asks you "Have you been able to think in that melody you told me?" You nod 

"Yes, I don't know if it sounds okay anyway" and he looks at you 

"Well, play it for me then" your fingers go across the instrument and begin to play. 

With that, you add a little of vocalization to it, just to bring it a bit to life. 

He remains silent, amazed by the notes and your voice. 

"How was it?" You ask once you're done 

He was looking at you with pure admiration in his eyes, but he had to bring himself to reality again, so he answered you.

"Okay, I think" the bell rang again, and before you could add something to the conversation, Satoru grabbed his things and left you. 

Satoru felt puzzled. After school, he went to rehearsal with the band he played. They could give him an answer about that, which kept him with an open eye at night.

"You're in love, dude " and both of his friends begin to laugh 

"In love?" he was even more confused 

"Well, everything you describe just now sounded like someone who's in love" Nanami pointed out, and Haibara agreed with a nod 

"Remember that we need to look for a vocalist or we won't be able to perform." his lightbulb of ideas light 

"[name] is an amazing singer." Satoru pointed out his friends looked at each other and giggled 

"Satoru, you can ask her out if you wanna keep seeing her" he denies when Haibara said that

"No, she really does have an amazing voice, I'll bring her to rehearsal, and you'll take a vote, huh?" they nodded and just tried and let the kid have it his way.

And that was just another gate open opportunity, one that kept attracting you closer to those ocean blue eyes. 

He told you about his idea at the staircase while you played softly, and you looked at him with pleading eyes. 

"Yes, I'll go" he nods and hides a small smile at your positive answer 

That same day after school, the two of you walked together to that little studio that he and his friends shared. They greeted you with a warm smile and showed you around a little. 

After the introductions, they told you to begin with the showcase. You played the same melody that you showed Satoru, and they looked in amazement. After you were done, Haibara reached you and grabbed you by the hands with a soft smile.

"Your voice is amazing, and that melody…" Did you make it?" You nod, and the boy turns to look at Nanami."She's also a composer. We have to get her. " You chuckle, and Satoru has his thumb up for you.

After some conversation and explaining, they told you everything you needed to know and gave you time to think. Satoru walked you home. 

"You know [name]. I'm glad I met you." You are now in agreement and repeat his words 

Halfway to your home, you cross paths with a girl, you recognize her, and she also does you. 

Satoru notices you being uncomfortable and keeps walking away with you. He doesn't mention anything about it. 

After you got home, he had sended a text 

[Have a good night [name] ] 

[I will Toru :D] 

After realizing the nickname and trying to fix your mistake, he answers again 

[I like that nickname. Keep it. ;)]

When you least expected Satoru and you were closer every day, at lunch, at rehearsal, and he would walk you home. 

His presence was magnetic, and everything that he represented left you numb and expectant. 

One day, while walking with you, a friend from your old school approached both of you. 

"Hey [name], how's everything going?" You begin to feel anxious. The lack of air to fill your lungs left you wordless while he looked at you with a grin 

"I… ah-..." Satoru notices your almost break and ask for your sake if the person could leave, and he walks right by you and whispers

"Long time no see, huh?" You flinch, and he walks away with a cocky grin 

Satoru doesn't ask and helps you get safely, he feels like an angel to you. 

You ask if he would like to come in, he does, and you prepare two instant ramen that night. 

After devouring the instant ramen and a trivial talk, you decide that you feel like you owe him an explanation about what he saw. 

"The guy that we saw was an old friend, but not really mine, it's my ex's friend" he opened his eyes a little and nods, like if he's giving you a cue to continue "Something happened with him, and… they blame me… i blame myself" and you're turning into that trumbling mess again, he crouch in front of you and holds your hands, the warmth of his skin helps you soothe yourself. 

You don't talk about it again. After several rehearsals, they were pushing you to give them the lyrics for the song you wanted to play, words? Music was one thing, but the lyrics… just couldn't come to your mind. 

Satoru offered to help, and so, more time together, neither of you had a problem with that matter. 

One day, he arrived with something called a pedal. He started to explain to you how it works while you tried it. He figures it can help you even more. And it does. 

Summer break begins, and your mornings are making you feel unease. You go to the park, walk around, and start to think more and more about the lyrics that have to get you.

It will get to you, jus' fill yourself with nature, the environment you have around gives you the best inspiration. Satoru said those words to you, and you took the advice for it. 

The moment of the performance was there, and it was now, every word from a lyrics only you knew begin to rumble inside the place, the pain it caused you to remember those days were palpable in the air.

Those days where love walked with your hand intertwined, soon after came the little disagreement and fights and those words that you regret saying. All pour into that song.

Even if your everything loses its shape one day

You'll always be here with me

Satoru has his eyes on you, and the feelings you're pouring out make him euphorical. In a state of high, his chest is heavy with feelings, and the music rumbles inside his body. 

As you sang your last notes a round of applause fill the room, after a standing ovation you walked away backstage only to find Satoru's gaze piercing with every step you took, as you were about to speak he reaches out and hugs you and stamps his lips to yours, a soft kiss left in your mouth still feeling the euphoria of beforehand that kiss seemed to be Satoru's way of proving something to you.

He was a shot of espresso, everything with him felt where it belonged and you knew that he felt the same way about you, he was your first time in many ways, since kids you were always there for each other, even when he began to act different and distant from you. 

"Hey, Suguru, we see you with that girl a lot. Are y'all dating or something like that?" Geto could've said you were indeed a couple, a team, soulmates even, but he felt the need to fit in. 

"Something like that," the guys around him laugh 

"Ain't she weird for you to look at her in that way?" Geto nods and locks gaze with you, and you walk away.

After that, things were a blur. Every fight now seems pointless and stupid, everytime he was always talking about dying, and you acted out of anger and said the most horrible thing you could've said. 

"Well, Geto, if you say you love me so much, die then," 

It was a mistake. It was a pointless fight, and if you carry with that on your back… you'll never feel like moving on. 

At his funeral, you didn't cry, anyone else couldn't have the satisfaction of looking at you, trembling, and losing your temple.

You called his number, hearing his voicemail tone, hoping he would attend your call, and you could apologize.

He knows how sorry you are, and he knows how much you loved him, he was the one acting wrong, doing you wrong, and he knew that, he knew that after what you said, and he reached a limit. And you'll have to cope with that in your mind.

His mom let you keep his guitar.

He used to tell me that he wanted to teach you, how 'bout you take it? his mom told you, after his funeral, you carried the case, feeling him beside you. 

Every note, every melody, every lyric, he's there with you. 

Satoru can't even bring himself to look at you. He's dying of embarrassment after what happened after the concert.

He brings himself to it before you decide he's a coward and won't talk to him again in your life.

"I'm so sorry [name] i shouldn't…-" 

"Why are you apologizing?" You cut him off mid sentence

"You're not mad at me?" You deny and gift him a soft smile 

"Do you like me?" he nods, and you blush at his positive answer

"Yes, I do like you, I thought the kiss was proof" you chuckle

"Well, I like you too, Toru." he smiles at you and holds your hand 

He felt like an angel with those mesmerizing eyes and his magnetic presence that kept pulling you to him.

A song and a guitar were the solution. After all, Geto solved his problems like this too, and you thanked him for the angel he had sent you. 

You knew Satoru would understand your story and your feelings. 

©️bangytell please do not copy or steal my work, any translation can’t be done this is the only way to read it.

#gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #jjk x reader #gojo fluff #gojo angst #gojo x you #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n #jjk drabbles #gojo satoru drabble #jjk fluff

[bittsandpieces]

Can I ask about being poly? I've always been curious to, I guess why have multiple partners?

Every person that does poly always say they have a lot of love to share etc but why not give all your love to one person?

I have thought about it myself but honestly I'd be too jealous too see my partner be with someone else and I'd probably get attached to another person too. Just seems like there's too much possibility of everyone getting hurt

What's the difference between being single and having casual relationships and being poly how can you have real love and stability when any partner could find someone new at anytime in a constantly shifting situation?

Doesn't it bring up insecurities if for example your main partner decides to date someone who you feel is more attractive than you etc and they feel they are a better fit than you?

This comes from a place of genuine curiosity to get a better understanding. Apologies if it comes across as rude

This doesn't come across as rude at all! I'll try to address everything you asked as best as I can.

To start off: why not give all my love to one person? Because that's just not how I'm wired! I have an unlimited supply of love, so having more than one partner doesn't mean anyone receives less love from me, just like having siblings doesn't mean your parents love you any less. Monogamy makes me feel trapped, not because I want to leave my partner, but because I want to love them *and* love someone else!

Jealousy does come up in poly relationships, but the difference is how much there is, and how you handle it! The first time my boyfriend hooked up with somebody else, I was a bit jealous and upset, I'll be honest. But we sat down and talked about it, and figured out what exactly made me upset, and how we can avoid that in the future (in that particular case, it was me being upset that she didn't have all the info on who I was, just that he was poly, so the solution was for him to tell other partners more about me before he gets involved with them). Jealousy can happen in any relationship, it's just about what you do with it. Some people aren't built to be poly, and will get too jealous, and that's okay! But not everyone is built like that.

Now, for the concern that my partner might leave me for someone else: I believe that the odds of that happening are *higher* in monogamous relationships than in poly relationships. In a mono relationship, if your partner is unfulfilled, and meets someone else that can match their needs, they'll probably leave you, because they can't stay with you and get those needs fulfilled. But in a poly relationship, they can fill those needs with other people, *and* come home to you. There's no picking one over the other. Polyamory is fundamentally built on open communication about EVERYTHING, all the time, and that's what makes it work! Yes, poly people break up, but from what I've seen, poly relationships are less likely to break up than mono relationships, because they have much more freedom, and more open lines of communication that allow them to fix problems

About insecurity: I mean this very genuinely. If my partner were to start dating someone who I felt was more attractive than me to a degree that it was causing me genuine distress, that isn't a fault in our relationship. What that means is that I need to work on my feelings of self worth, and need to talk to my partner about ways he can help me feel more secure in his love for me. It's not me vs her, it's all of us working together to find our best selves and our best lives, and that can be hard! For polyamory to work well, it can require a lot of self-improvement, to find confidence in yourself and your love, but the reward is (for some of us) so, so worth it. It's like being loved exponentially!

In some ways, I have a lot of the same questions for people who are monogamous, anon. How do you not feel trapped? What do you do if your partner isn't meeting your needs, since you can't find someone else who can fulfill it for you? Aren't you afraid your partner will leave you if you can't do everything for them? How are you supposed to do everything they need in the first place? I don't really understand it, but i will always respect it. Some of us are just built differently, and I think that's a beautiful thing! The world has so much variety to offer us and its lovely that we get to share these experiences with one another. I hope this helps!

#bitts answers #i tried to answer everything and not ramble *too* much lol

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Yours, Forever | Chapter 15

PAIRING | Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 1.4K

SUMMARY | You and Bucky have been going steady for the last year and a half, and you have returned to your position as head of the legal department full-time now. Bucky has been going on more missions recently, and the two of you don't get to see each other for long periods of time, making the fantasies about each other hotter by the minute. This chapter is written from both Y/N and Bucky's POV.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Smut [ Masturbation (F&M), use of a vibrator, oral (F&M receiving), fingering, squirting, praise/slight praise kink, authority kink (sergeant kink), 40's Bucky has a very filthy mouth ], swearing.

A/N | This chapter was supposed to come out yesterday, but I wasn't feeling too well. I'm sorry for the delay, but I have made it juicy for your enjoyment!

I want to thank @jamesbuckybarnes1917 for all of her help and advice when it comes to writing this one, you were truly a great help with this! 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Divider is made by @firefly-graphics

Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist | Series masterlist | Chapter 14 | Chapter 16

Bucky is currently away for an extended mission, which will take him away for multiple weeks, possibly even months, depending on how it's going. To say that it had gotten lonely is honestly the understatement of the year, and you can't help but think of your super soldier boyfriend while you're having some alone time one night, almost a month after he'd left with barely any contact.

Work is stressing you out lately, and even though you don't want to admit it, you're in more need of an orgasm than usual, with Bucky fulfilling all your needs whenever and wherever possible. That, however, isn't an option right now, and you will have to do with your trusty vibrator.

You're lying in your bed tossing and turning, unable to find a comfortable position to sleep in, and decide to take matters into your own hands. Leaning over to your nightstand and grabbing the small light blue vibrator you and Bucky sometimes use to spice your sex life up slightly. All that is left is to think about the one person you miss more than anything. Bucky Barnes.

''Hmm, you're looking delicious today, doll,'' Bucky says, ogling you without shame.

''Yeah? I bet I would look even better without this lingerie on me,'' you tease, but before you know it, he practically ripped it off, leaving you utterly naked before his eyes, your nipples pebbled and the wetness between your thighs growing.

He picked you up and put you down on the bed with a soft thud, pulling your legs apart so he could enjoy his feast before diving in.

The second his tongue makes contact with your clit, your back arches off the bed with a loud moan, making him smile against you. ''Tastes so good, doll, tastes fucking amazing for me,'' he says, and you let out a small whimper at the praise.

One of your hands found its home in Bucky's hair, and the other is playing with your breasts and nipples to give yourself even more stimulation.

Bucky's tongue keeps lapping through your folds, past your clit, and into your entrance, making your back arch slightly with every movement until he decides to stop teasing for now, his mouth sucking on your clit and his metal fingers slipping into your entrance.

''Ah, Bucky, r-right there!'' you moan out when his fingers are curling into you, and with a fast pace, he's giving you intense pleasure by finding your particular spot.

It doesn't take long for you to come undone under his touch, ultimately, your orgasm quickly washing over you. ''B-Bucky! I'm-'' is all you get out before you're trembling, arching, and moaning under his professional touch. He knows exactly how to make you fall apart without a single problem.

Right at the moment you're reaching your climax in your fantasy, you also cum in real life, having turned the vibrator up a few notches, making you squirt all over your sheets.

''F-fuck...'' you breathe out as you come down from your high. Now you definitely can't wait for Bucky to return; you need him more than ever.

When you've come down from your high, you climb out of bed and shower to clean yourself up after throwing your sheets into the washing machine and putting clean ones on the bed.

You have finished your shower and decide on self-care by rubbing lotion all over your body and grabbing panties and one of Bucky's shirts to sleep in. This time it takes little time for you to find the sleep you've been so desperately looking for earlier.

Bucky's POV

This mission is taking way longer than expected; Bucky had hoped to be home with you by now. Instead, he's laying in a bed that is way too big for him alone, wanting nothing more than the sweet release of an orgasm, preferably buried deep inside your warm cunt.

His metal arm has been bothering him for days now, and even though it's off, the pain doesn't seem to improve. Instead of grabbing some painkillers that aren't doing much anyway, he notices that he's growing quite hard now and decides to take his mind off the pain in another way.

''Hmm...'' Bucky grunts softly at the thought of jerking off. Before he can even think about what's happening, his flesh hand is sliding down the sweatpants he's wearing, underneath the elastic of his underwear, grabbing the already hardened member.

The hiss he lets out at the feeling of the slight tug he gives himself is almost embarrassing; it's not like he's never touched at home. Home. With you. Suddenly, that's all that goes through Bucky's mind as he keeps feeling himself.

He's transported back to the '40s and recently moved up the ranks to Sergeant. It sure does have a nice ring, Sergeant James Barnes, he thinks as he walks home after a night out with Steve.

'I can't wait to see Y/N again,' Bucky thinks, already looking forward to everything he might do to you if you let him. At the thought alone, his cock starts to stir a little, slightly straining against the pants of his military uniform.

It doesn't take long for him to arrive home, and the door swings open before he can even put the key in the lock. He's greeted by the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, smiling up at him. He's growing even harder at seeing you in the dark green dress you bought recently.

''Hi, doll. How was your evening?'' he asks, leaning forward to give you a soft kiss on your cheek which you happily accepts, putting a hand on his bicep and squeezing softly. Goosebumps immediately cover his upper arm, and a shiver runs down his spine.

''My evening was good, Sergeant,'' you tell him, and his eyes immediately snap up to meet yours. He didn't miss how the title rolled off your tongue with a honey-filled voice.

You move to open the buttons on Bucky's uniform, revealing the shirt and tie underneath as you slide it off his shoulders. The tie is next, and before you can go even further, he picks you up and walks to the bedroom with you in his arms.

''S-Sergeant!'' you squeal as he lifts you, wrapping your legs around his waist for support. At this point, he is straining against the zipper of his pants, which will soon come off.

Bucky bends down so you can land safely on the bed, and he removes the dress, leaving you in your underwear which looks delicious on your curves. 'God, I love this woman so much,' he thinks as he places his hand softly on your cheek.

''Sergeant, can I take the rest of your clothes off?'' you ask, and he nods, letting you remove every last bit of clothing. When you hook your fingers below the elastic of his underwear, it's like a tiny bolt of electricity goes through his veins, making him even harder.

Your eyes move up to his, and he nods slightly, letting you take it down so his cock springs free in front of your face.

''Doing so good for me, doll, why don't you wrap that perfectly juicy mouth around it? I've missed how you feel around me,'' and without hesitation, you take him halfway down your throat on the first go.

''Fuck, doll, you take your Sergeant so well, huh? Need me deep inside that throat of yours, don't you?'' Bucky grunts and a soft moan escapes around his cock in your mouth, making him twitch at the feeling of the vibrations.

Bucky's hands found their place on your head and hair, but he doesn't dare to take over control; he's enjoying everything you're doing, and by the looks of it, so are you.

Suddenly you change your pace and hollow your cheeks, a grunt leaving your throat at the feeling. ''Jesus, you're going to be the death of me, doll,'' he groans through his teeth, but you don't let up.

''Want you to cum in my throat, Sergeant,'' you say after letting go with a wet pop. He happily complies when you start sucking again, but this time your hands leave his thighs to play with his balls, rolling them and tugging softly.

''O-oh, I'm close! Doll, going to cum!'' he shouts as you take Bucky deep into your mouth and throat, gagging as the tears stream down your face. It doesn't take long for him to squirt all his ropes of cum deep down into your throat, letting you swallow every last drop.

''You taste amazing, Sergeant,'' you say, and you get back up, pulling him in for a kiss, and let him taste himself on your tongue.

It doesn't take long for him to quicken his pace, and with a whine of your name, he cums all over his hand, stomach, and chest. God, he most definitely can't wait to return home to you.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes smut

[missskzbiased]

Game of Hearts

Summary: You would never have imagined this but playing an Otome Game becomes a path-changing way to live your life. Every choice you make dictates the way your real life will develop, and who you'll end up with. There is only one problem: Can you navigate this 'Game of Hearts' successfully?

Pairing: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

WC: ~4,2 K

Genre: Romance, Drama, Blurb, Friends to Lovers (?), Confession, Game

Warnings: Language, 1st person

Notes: I had fun playing with this idea. This fic was inspired by "Back to 15" and my longing to build something that'd give a sensation of choice/participation for the readers. But for now, this is just a blurb.

Every single decision you make counts.

It could be something as stupid as having a vanilla ice cream today instead of a crepe, or something more meaningful as helping someone in need instead of turning your back away. It's terrifying, yet fulfilling. When you pile enough of those decisions, it becomes a part of you, a defining trait. Looking back, you may wonder: Wow, did I really do that? And in that moment, you could find yourself either smiling or shedding tears as you contemplate your past.

It's amazing, really, how much power we hold in our hands.

And frightening.

Not the kind of fear you experience when there's a loud thud outside your door, and you convince yourself that it was probably the cat or the wind. No, it's the fear that creeps in when you trail an unfamiliar path, risking a wrong way to a place you have never been before. It's that feeling you have when you can't help but wonder if you made the right choice. It's those haunting thoughts that make you question why you're taking so long to get there. It's the way your heartbeats fly through the window by the possibility of being left behind, all by yourself, as people move on, as they drift away.

The fear of moving forward or walking back.

Paralyzing, yet thriving.

"So? What's taking you so long?" Hyunjin uncrosses his arms, leaning back on his hands and inadvertently shifting my bed. Naturally, my body follows suit, sinking into the hollow he made.

Our shoulders bump.

It's nothing new, a familiar occurrence among friends. I've bumped shoulders with him a hundred times before. But it's different. Now, I feel every inch of my bare skin in contact with his, and inch by inch our arms connect. Suddenly, I miss the winter uniform and its sleeves going all the way down to my elbows, shielding me from the sizzling heat ignited by our skin-to-skin contact. A heat that spreads from my arms to my neck and face. A heat that swelters me. It is hot in here, isn't it?

The concept of a summer uniform seems pointless right now.

  "Want me to take the lead?" Hyunjin's fingers brush against mine, breaking my reverie. My eyes snap to his fingers, to his face, to his eyes; searching for any traces of change in his behavior.

Instead, I find that mischievous, familiar sparkle in his eyes.

I quickly avert my gaze back to the screen, making a point not to lock eyes with him for more than two seconds.

Turns out he only needed one and a half to dazzle me.

Before me, three options gleam with white letters on a blurry scenario, backed by a soothing piano tune in the background. I hover my selection between the first two. The letters glow brighter as I shift through each one: Bad Boy and then Nerd. Carefully, I read the third one: Childhood Friend.

Hyunjin's face flashes back to my thoughts.

I catch myself gauging the glimmer of every little star sprinkling his eyes. I try not to notice how adorable he looks as his eye bags turn puffier than ever, his playfulness shining through them. He was just making fun of me, teasing me as he always does.

Classic Jinnie.

"You're not taking me seriously" Deflect your thoughts, I scold myself, "This isn't the time for games, Hyunjin" His gaze scans my face, as if he suddenly realizes I'm not just jesting.

"Hyunjin" He mutters under his breath, not low enough for my ears to miss. It's amusing how worked up he gets at something so silly, but I can't afford to be diverted by his antics, not with so much at stake, "I mean, it's a little hard to take you seriously when you're fooling around so much!" He snatches the joystick from my hand and toggles between the options. "How could this game change your life?" He scoffs, hovering over 'Childhood Friend'.

"Give it back!" I slap him, snatching the joystick back.

His intense gaze burns into my face.

"What?" I grumble, shifting my attention to the options, as I toggle between them, trying to distract myself from the way he's scrutinizing me, "What?" I repeat impatiently, still avoiding his gaze.

"You're... Snappy" He remarks, leaning forward in an attempt to catch my eyes. I flick my glance towards him and then back to the screen, then back to him, and then... "Do you..." He clears his throat, adjusts his collar, and swallows dryly, "Have a crush on me or something?" He fidgets, and I have enough.

"Really?" This time, I feel obliged to look at him. My expression morphs into an exasperated grimace, and Hyunjin seems to ease back in his seat.

"Well, I don't know!" He raises his hands, trying to defend himself, "You invite me into your room and get all flustered, silent, snappy, and weird! What do you want me to think?!"

"I'm not flustered!" My protest falls on deaf ears.

"You literally avoided my gaze for like five minutes, and there are just the two of us in this room" He gestures exageratedly around my bedroom to make his point, "And I'm sorry if I sound conceited right now, but I think I'm much more interesting than anything in here for you to avoid me this much. So, yeah! Excuse me if I thought you were about to confess or something"

"Hyunjin, get your head out of your ass for a second," I plead so genuinely that it draws a snort out of him, "I'm not confessing, stop freaking out"

"I'm not freaking out, and stop calling me Hyunjin!" He protests, and I sigh heavily.

"Ok, Jinnie" I roll my eyes but I notice his features brightening up, "Will you listen to me now?" I look into his eyes, and our gazes lock together as in a determined handshake. 

We seal an unspoken deal. His expression shifts into something more sober, conveying his trust despite how insane I sound. His hand gently rests on top of my thigh, offering reassurance, and then he nods encouragingly.

"I'm listening" It's a promise.

"Somehow..." I'm at a loss for words. How could I even begin to describe whatever the fuck was happening in my life right now? "I mean... I think... Somehow..." He waits patiently, still locked in my gaze, "Could you look away for a sec?" I clear my throat, breaking eye contact as I try to gather my thoughts, "What I mean is..."

"Are you sure this isn't a confession?" He jokes lighthearted, trying to ease my mood.

"Hyunjin" I summon the courage to meet his eyes again. He seems bothered by the way I say his name, his fingers subtly gripping my thigh. His eyes darken, and he shakes his head slightly, as if to dispel a shiver, "Jinnie" I correct myself, but he doesn't seek my eyes again, and the warmth of his touch recedes, "I'm scared" I confess, nervously nibbling on my lower lip.

He doesn't say a word.

Of course, he doesn't. What could he possibly say? He has no idea what I'm trying to say, and I don't know how to make him understand me. Or believe me.

"Y/N" He coaxes, leaning forward to examine my face, "Trust me"

"I do, it's just..." I clear my throat again, inhaling deeply until it starts to hurt too much to keep breathing in. Then, I let it all out in a heavy sigh before studying his face, "You wouldn't believe me. Heck, I wouldn't believe me" I admit, praying for God that I could at least say something that made sense at this point, "I think... I know that this game has the power to change my future" I say in one breath, hoping it could fix any misunderstandings.

Silence.

Hyunjin stares blankly at me, almost as if he's in a daze. He fixes himself on his seat, shifting his gaze to the screen, completely absent-minded. I can't decipher his expression. Is he questioning my sanity, debating whether to call an ambulance or simply taking everything in? When he finally returns his gaze to me, I still have no idea about what is going on in his mind.

He opens his mouth and then closes it.

He does it again.

Then again.

"I know it's hard to believ—" He raises his finger to cut me off.

"Let me just check something" He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes, and then opening them to focus on me, "Are you on drugs?" I start to protest, making a strangled, high-pitched noise in my throat. Hyunjin gestures for me to stop, "Okay, right. Just had to make sure"

"Look" I groan, taken by the anger of not being able to convey my point, "I don't know how to explain it, okay? My life is somehow connected to this Otome Game. Each time I choose one option, someone in real life falls for me" I pause, allowing him some time to process this information.

"Y/N..." Hyunjin ponders his words carefully. His expression shifts through a range of emotions as he searches for something tactful to say. It's crystal clear that he is struggling with that, and about half a minute later, he finally gives up, "This is just insane" He declares, his eyes widening to emphasize his disbelief, as if attempting to shake me out of a reverie.

"Hyunjin" I take his hand on mine, diving into his eyes to show him my unwavering conviction, "I've never been so sure of anything in my life. I tried to deal with it by myself, but right now, I need a friend. I need you, okay?"

"Y/N, you'll always have a friend in me, but I can't pretend I believe in this shit. This is just crazy, you know that, right?" He squeezes my hands into his, returning my look earnestly, "There's no way a game can change the reality"

"I know that" I nod, and he seems relieved for a second, "But it's happening, Hyunjin. I'm not insane, I can assure you of that much"

"I'll probably regret this, but..." He takes a deep breath, letting out a heavy sigh, "What makes you so sure?"

"Before, when I played it, I went for the Bad Boy" I start my explanation, which seems to already bore him. I hope he's patient enough to hear me out, "And Minho hit on me. You know he doesn't even look my way at school!" Hyunjin doesn't react to it. I click my tongue but continue, "Then, I went for Nerd and Chan came to talk to me in the library. He was super nice and giggly! I swear to God he had the heart eyes" Once again, Hyunjin isn't impressed, "And then I went for Childhood Friend..." I glance at him shyly but he doesn't let me finish.

"So, let me throw a new perspective in here" He puckers his lips, then sucks them in, pursing them as he hums sarcastically, "Did it ever cross your mind that they might have a crush on you, and it was all just a coincidence?" He arches his eyebrows meaningfully, suggesting that he has just figured everything out. I roll my eyes.

"Alright, this isn't working" I fix my eyes on the ceiling, trying to gather all my thoughts and not just punch him and send him to hell. I pop my lips, clenching my jaw before looking at him before pleading, "Do you trust me?" He frowns but nods anyway, "Then, let me show you, cuz words alone can't and won't convince you"

"Go on" He shrugs his shoulders, "Show me" His disdain boils my blood, but I don't let it show on my face. At least, I hope not.

I hesitated for a moment, then selected 'Childhood Friend'.

The screen transitioned to a new scenario. The boy on screen looked nothing like Hyunjin, not a single strand of his hair, but his teasing smile and soft eyes were uncannily similar. Still, this wasn't convincing enough. Hyunjin slowly looked at me, grinning at me with oozing confidence, as if challenging me: "See? Nothing changed" His silence spoke volumes.

I keep my eyes on the game, contemplating the scene. It's a bedroom, different from mine, yet the characters were in the same position as us, sitting side by side in dreadful silence.

I've noticed you're getting closer to Reno. He says, casting a glance at the main female character. Is there something going on between you?

Hyunjin's eyebrow twitched, and he shot me a questioningly, curious, and troubled look: "Were you going for Minho before?" He scoffs, but his attempt at humor falls flat. I duck my head between my shoulders, shrugging unsurely. 

"Yeah?" I admit reluctantly, avoiding eye contact. It's embarrassing to seek the most obvious choice: The bad boy with a good heart.

"Oh" He delivers quietly, "I see"

Despite the tension in the air, this isn't enough to prove my point, to make him believe in me. So I selected the option that would further test the game's impact on Hyunjin. No. Hyunjin fixes his posture but doesn't say or show anything else.

Oh! I see. Ironical, isn't it? I look at him with a smug face. So... You're just friends, right?

Hyunjin holds his breath, his eyes trained on the screen. There were three options for me to choose but one of them seemed to pop to him. He didn't say anything, but I could feel him restless by my side. The turmoil set inside his mind was evident. Something in the situation fascinates him and has his thoughts wandering.

Not as good friends as us! I scrutinize the option, knowing that this wouldn't set the romantic tone. It was a good thing to save both of us from further problems but it wasn't convincing enough.

Skip.

I... I might have a crush on him. The heartbreaking option. The tone would make me lose some affection points. Not the answer I wanted to give nor the one Hyunjin wanted to receive.

Skip.

Of course... I... I like someone else. The right answer. The one that would set the tone for something more vulnerable and heartwarming. The uncertainty would prompt him to seek answers, to unravel the truth. Who did my character like then?

Hyunjin digs his fingers into the mattress.

I go back to option number two.

Lock.

I couldn't risk losing his friendship and complicating things any further in real life. This should be enough to make him understand, right? It was already obvious that he was yearning for something more, for something that he wouldn't seek if it wasn't the game. It stirred something within him. Was it enough, though?

Unexpectedly, Hyunjin stands up.

"Jeez!" I bring my hand to my heart, startled.

"I have to go" He blurts, making his way to my door.

"Wait!" I reach for him, grabbing his wrist, "What happened?!"

"I don't wanna talk about it" He replied, not looking me in the eyes.

"Jinnie, what happened?" I ask softly, and he softens up with my tone.

"I don't wanna be alone with you right now" He turns back, diving directly into my eyes. I have never seen his gaze so... Disturbed. There was a storm inside his eyes, "I can't afford to be alone with you right now" He corrected himself.

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused by his reaction. This shouldn't go this way, I dismissed his character, diverted from any romantic engagement. It shouldn't develop any more feelings.

"This is some weird shit" He laughs humorlessly, as if trying to escape from his tension, "But I believe you"

"It's fine" I reassure him, taking a step closer. My hand finds its way to his cheeks, and I can see the muscles on his neck pulling, determined not to allow him to indulge in my touch, "I won't ever choose you again" It's a promise to protect our friendship, but it doesn't set too well on him.

"That's not what..." He gulps down, taking my hand away from his face, "I don't want you to choose anyone else"

It's a confession, isn't it? Plain and clear, echoing in my room.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I..." I panic. My heart pounds inside my chest, reverberating all the way up to my throat, making my voice tremble, "It's just the game. Don't take it too seriously; it'll go away as I play—"

"It won't" His voice is unwavering, unlike mine. The turmoil in his eyes settles down; the calm after the storm. "My feelings for you... It wasn't the game. They were already there" He admits earnestly, with no armor to protect his feelings.

"No, no" It's my turn to laugh nervously, "You don't know what you're talking about. The game is playing tricks on you"

"Y/N," He says very seriously, holding both of my hands and bringing me closer, as if to convey the sincerity in his words, "I've always had feelings for you" Another confession. This doesn't make sense. That wasn't the path the game should be taking us, "I've never had the guts to face them, so I shoved them aside, pretending every single one of those feelings was nothing but a manifestation of friendship" Hyunjin's hands were slippery, or maybe that's me. Either way, I slip away from his grip.

"I don't believe you" I mutter under my breath, not strong enough to say anything above a whisper.

"Do you trust me?" He pleads the way I did before.

How can I say no to this?

"I do" The truth slips from my lips, falling with a thud between us.

"Then, let me show you" Another low blow. He knows how to sweep me off my feet.

With Hyunjin's words hanging in the air, the room seems to grow smaller, and the gap between our bodies diminishes until it fades away. On the other hand, my senses seem to expand, and every little thing becomes overwhelming. The way my emotions whirlwind, but refrain from unleashing, gusting inside my ribcage and shrinking my heart, which fights for its life, racing in a way it never did. The tick-tack of a clock in the back of her mind, or the back of my room, I can't tell. It counts the second to something that might tear my world apart. The way Hyunjin stands his ground, his expression sincere and vulnerable, his look lovingly enough to melt all of my worries away.

At some level, I realize I don't want it to be some game side effects.

"Hyunjin" My whisper breaks the silence like a screech. Both of us snap back to reality, and neither of us can face one another in this scenario, so I face the floor.

"Holy shit" He digs his fingers in my shoulders, and I can feel the way a shiver runs down his spine, making his body tremble, "When you call me by my name..." He takes a deep breath and lets it catch in his throat instead of finishing his sentence.

"Jinnie" I offer instead, and his hand finds its way to the back of my head. I shriek.

"Stop playing it, pause the game" He pleads, "It'll prove that my feelings have nothing to do with your choices" He places a kiss on my forehead.

"I've already tried" I admit, fighting my urge to be venturous, to explore everything unveiled before my eyes, to indulge in the practicality of letting him love me, to leave my problems behind, "But my life resets to the moment I played it for the first time. I'm trapped in a loop" There is a pain in my voice that he can't understand, but he can feel, so he hugs me thighter.

"So just choose me" It's a simple request, isn't it?

"Hyunjin..." I find the courage to look him in the eyes, and suddenly, I feel compelled to say: "I don't know if I love you that way. I can't simply put you through this. I'll keep choosing you and then what? We'll be married with two kids? When does it end? Do we want to end up together like this?" I feel like the words are gushing out my mouth, splattering like my feelings, but they're not. My speech is calm and composed, and it's so sober that Hyunjin steps back.

"I do" He admits, averting his eyes from mine. He knows that my answer wouldn't be the same as his, "But you have someone else in mind, don't you?" His tone isn't accusative, but the insinuation itself is.

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused by his antics. His arms slowly untangle from around me.

"You might have a crush on someone else, isn't that right?" His tone is bitter, catching me off guard. When I see his eyes fixed on the screen, everything comes together.

"Minho?!" I'm baffled. So much that I can't further elaborate on that, "I was choosing him just because! There's no deeper meaning in that"

"Yet, he's the first one you mention" He finally turns his gaze back to me, and I can see the hurt staining his eyes.

"Hyunjin, that's not..." But he doesn't let me finish.

"You know what?" He fakes a smile, shrugging as if the situation didn't matter after all, "You might be right. This all was just the game talking" He chuckles, gesturing for me to let it go, "I don't know where my mind was" his smile widens but it doesn't reach his eyes.

Hyunjin turns away, ready to leave my room.

"Wait, Hyunjin!" I rush to him, taking him by the hand. Hyunjin snatches it away with one wave of his arm, "That's not what's happening at all! I don't know who I like, I don't have a crush on any of you"

There is a single thought running through my mind: I don't wanna lose Hyunjin. I don't wanna lose Hyunjin. I don't wanna lose Hyunjin. It's hammering inside my head, giving me a migraine.

"You don't look good in white lies" He stops, his hand on the doorknob, "So don't lie to me, 'cuz our friendship always meant more than that" He doesn't turn back to look at me, but I know his eyes are tearing up, because his voice is breaking.

"I'm not lying" I pray for someone to make him understand.

"That's okay, Y/N" He mutters, turning the doorknob, "We're good friends. You didn't lose me"

But I did.

Each crackle my doorknob made as he opened the door felt like a bullet to my heart, all carrying the same message: I'm losing him, don't let him go! I'm losing him, don't let him go! I'm losing him, don't let him go!

Then, Hyunjin closes the door behind him.

I lost him.

I stood there, frozen in the middle of my room, as the sound of the closing door echoed in my ears like a ghost haunting my thoughts. My bedroom, which used to be a sanctuary of our friendship, was now reduced to crumbs and ashes, violated by something much greater than us. The room grew insufferably bigger until it felt emptier than it had ever been. My insides mimicked my surroundings, and tears welled up in my eyes as I missed Hyunjin's heat beside me. Suddenly, I miss the winter uniform again, although for different reasons.

I collapse onto my bed, feeling the weight of my feelings down on me along with the reality. Through my blurred vision, I stare at the screen, wondering why this game had happened to me. Finally, I allow my tears to flow, soaking my pillow, which muffles my wails.

Was it a bad ending? Did I screw up my friendship with Hyunjin? Should I stop playing and go back in time, reset all of this?

I wipe my tears away, looking back at the screen.

Chapter's 1 Reward Unlocked: First Confession!

Status: Bad Ver.

Jin can't stop thinking about what you said: You might like someone else. Was it Reno? Did that smug, insensitive guy conquer your heart in so little time? Jin can't let this happen! Snatching your heart is his only way to take you back. Did your heart flutter with his confession? He hopes so but knows better than to force you into this. Perhaps, he'll have another opportunity, when your heart belongs a little more to him and less to that prick Reno. But that depends on you. Who'll you choose next? The future is in your hands.

I stare blankly at the gleaming words.

Slowly but surely, small pieces of a puzzle start to connect inside my mind. There was no good outcome to follow up on my choice. All along, Hyunjin was supposed to be hurt by the possibility of me liking Minho. All along, there was no way you would connect on a deeper level because I was meant to lose points. It didn't matter how truthful our feelings were, or how kindly we tried to expose our views.

The future is in your hands.

Whatever my future was, it wasn't mine to take yet.

Not without conquering it in that damn game.

#stray kid fanfic #hyunjin fanfic #hyunjin x reader #skz hyunjin x reader #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #skz fluff #skz angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin angst #otome game #friends to lovers

[1galaxia369]

VIRGO RISING ♍️

💚 Timeless Read 💚

Virgos I'm getting you went through some things, some soul searching happened. I see a renewed person! I love that for you! You finally removed the tight restrictions you had on your self and finally are leaning into divine flow. You finally got real with yourself and healed, letting go has to be a life changing feeling for you. I don't know if you realize that this change happened within you yet but it has and you'll never be that old you again. your overall energy at this time is forward movement, things will be picking up and alot will be happening regarding your career and spiritual life also, you might be moving soon or going abroad. It's time for you to start enjoying life now you are too hard on yourself and you put too much of your energy into work (work that isn't for you). You have so many ideas and creative skills and the universe is (not forcing you) giving you a forceful nudge towards working on them and walking the path to your dreams and goals. It's time for some focus, you have an excellent work ethic, towards anything you put your mind to. you will have an entire plan and routine surrounding your plans and that's what you need right now-- to be your self and use that magick you got at birth to do something you love.

In the past or maybe you just went through some struggle and serious lessons. Things like these often leave an imprint on a person, you might be dealing with a scarcity mindset as a result of what happened. Your relationship with money is imbalanced, you might have made a financial choice that you think messed you up or caused struggle but that wasn't the case. The period of time was going to happen regardless of what you did with your money, things like that have to run its course. Your okay now, you don't need to keep up that fear of fucking up aslo, you are human. Also, its okay to spend your money on things that aren't neccessesity. Buying things that makes you happy are just as important as taking care of responsibilities, put something aside for yourself everytime. You need to understand that you actually don't have control over everything in this reality and over yourself. Practice not thinking and planning every single outcome and possibility for everything you do. Give your mind a rest and allow your intuition to lead you. There is a strong need for that listening to SELF and not worrying about things that haven't happened yet, you can't control something that haven't happened yet. Your spirit guides are working hard on your behave, give your self a break and learn to flow. When things arise in that moment you'll know what to do just focus on what's going on right now. This will bring in happiness and emotional stability.

You are in good position to start seriously working towards your dreams. The universe is handing your stability and support, let your intuition lead you now. The signs and messages will be there and you need to pay attention even to the little nudges and feelings you get. If you feel like walking to the park or randomly having a certain song stuck in your head follow those nudges. Little things will lead you to information or help. More importantly the negative self talk and self doubt create noise and you won't be able to hear your inner voice. Please note that when embarking on new journeys you are usually going to be alone and to your loved ones you'll be considered crazy or weird. The people closest to you won't be able to see your vision and won't be much support I'm afraid, so this dream that's about to be fulfilled requires mental strength and complete peace and focus. Meditation and just mindful sitting is a good way to quiet your mind, whenever you start over think or when peoples criticisms start replaying in your head and it's too much, just take deep breaths 3 to focus, 6 to center your self and 9 to release. I see you being in love with all your old hobbies and passions and you'll be going back to learn, whether it's you dedicating time to practice or going back to school or hitting up a mentor. You'll be going back to find yourself and renewing those things you left behind in the pursuit of practicality and doing what society wants. Time to be yourself and honor what self wants and stop living up to the expectations other people put on you.

I recommend some spiritual cleansing, baths and smudging ( sage then palo santo or get a good incense I'd rec. cinnamon or lavender or 7 african powers). Release is good for you 29 deep breaths from the gut. Try some yoga it will help with slowing down your mind and releasing tension.

#tarot #tarot reading #astrology #virgo #virgo rising #zodiac #spirituality

[madamudeeaaarr]

December 17,1991 Arthur made sure the Box was sealed up before walking to the front door of his house he check the time again to make sure Miranda would be home and awake,it was a comfortable but chilly sunny afternoon on a saturday and he decided to take the day off just for this occasion, the days after he brought the girl to live in his home have been more worrisome than he had anticipated and with the holidays approaching it wasn't exactly the right time for him to be away from the company.

The harmony & play like every single one of its competitors have a entire year of sellings and advertising to prepare for this very específic week, christmas was the most profitable period for the company but also the most stressful and it wouldn't stop until february of the coming year,until then there's is stocks,demand and money to think about and after all of this that was the plans for whatever potential disaster scenario they might have to deal in a near future,the thought of said situation already made him feel physically tired. this used to be her job and should still be her place,I still can't believe that hippie head to be the one of us with talent for business.

his personal theories are that the woman understood the capitalist game so well it was the sole reason she hated it so much and her ideas are what helped arthur to rise the company and his own pockets in the last few years lies & fraud she used to say is a shame she didn't want to make it by his side otherwise the three of them could have been living a dream by now.

at least i have my girl and a few years to make it up for.

and this is what he was going to do today or at best try it,Miranda was everything he imagine his children to be: well behaved,sweet and for the little she have opened up to him a bit curious which made it more important for arthur to be around and observe what will be necessary to shape her for into someone capable of fulfilling a place in company on a near future and everything that will come with it, for now however his only worries are that she was lonely and he would need something or someone to keep her company while he is away at work.

when he walked into the big living room the sound of the television playing a random movie indicated a possible place to where the girl was,he looked at the brightly decorated christmas tree near the dining table and placed the Box at the bottom with the piles of smaller gifts before walking around the couch that was placed in the same room, she was spotted laying on the floor sleeping on her stomach head against one of the couch pillows

you're going to get a stomach ache like this.

He knelt down beside her and gently shook the girl's shoulder while waiting for a response.She started to move her head and flipped to the side before noticing him,”good afternoon." he said while she was dizzy sitting “weelo.”,”did you sleep well?”his hand touched the dark wavy hair to move it away from her eyes,”yes.” she replied while looking at him with a gaze that reminded of a pair of black obsidian jewelry ”i got a surprise for you.”,

”you do?”she didn't sound excited or happy in the slightest

“yeah,there's a special gift on the tree right now and it has to be opened today." he pulled her up and waited for the girl to start walking before following right behind.

when she approached the tree they could hear the sound of scratching coming from inside the box Miranda looked at him puzzled “go on.” he tried to encourage and she hesitantly took the gift from the Christmas tree with a expression of suspicion but when she opened a fluffy head with pointy ears came out, arthur couldn't help but smile at the way her face lightened up and she squeal while hugging the cat in her arms jumping was if the happiness was too much to contain “thank you!”

”Did you like him?”he chuckled.“I love him!”, the feline was a almost classic tuxedo with bright yellow eyes that are highlighted by his perfect markings the only exception being the tail and one black paw,arthur had made sure it was a young adult so the cat would be trained and ready to be her first pet since he or anyone else in the house could lost time in training a young kitten,he took a seat from one of the dining table chairs and left the girl enjoying the gift for a while before asking something important “what is his name?” the cat much like miranda herself was still going through a adoption process and right now still needed a official name for being settled with them permanently,he made a deal with the shelter to bring the cat home earlier instead of normal procedures of the formal adoption when he asked why so much bureaucracy just for a pet they told him it was to make sure the people are responsible and there wasn't any risk for the pets and yet all of that formality was throw out of the window at the mention of money,a generous donation and the people in charge allowed a exception for him.

something in the back of his mind wondered if there was potential here,the arcadia project was still in need for more ideas and given it was too early for taking out of his private lock the space for concepts was very much open for whatever he could use,a loud giggle made him stop the brainstorm and he was back to at the house and i'm losing myself in thought again.

The girl was now using a ribbon from the gift box like an improvised toy and the cat seemed to be catching on to whatever game they were having,raising his paws or biting once while rolling from one side to another She didn't hear me.

he slapped his fingers a little “darling,what is his name?”,she stopped and looked at him “martin.” she said.

”yes…hum?no!not that one!” The girl was holding the cat again but higher up was if to show the cat to his face “why not he kinda looks like it.” ”like martin?”,”uhum from there!” she walked to the cabinet full of alcohol bottles and put one finger in the glass “this one.” After trying to understand what she was saying he noticed one of the bottles with a man wearing a tuxedo suit and the brading said Martyn in golden italian letters.

”oh well but you still have to choose something else,is not…very polite to have someone named after a drink.”

”o-okay…than bowtie?” “Sounds good to me.”

She nodded and walked excited to the entrance behind them. Great, do I get my own martin too?Does my next incarnation come in the form of a furball? he was debating with himself about the odd possibility before a voice coming the other room interrupted “good afternoon mr greywhinder.” the woman coming from another part of house said “hello lynn.'',lynn was one of three baby-sitters that worked in the house since miranda came to live with him, as much as he wanted to be around her the work and personal research took most of his time and now more than ever he felt the need to keep a tight grasp on things that could dictate the ways of both the company and the girl, unfortunately Miranda was still too young to take care of herself and so arthur was left with no choice but to hire people to look after her for the next few years or so i will teach her to be more independent but this is how things are for now even if i'm not very happy about it. ”you're free to go home for the rest of the day i'll take from here,you know the schedule.” ”Thanks, I just need to take my things first.” “Just one more thing, don't let her sleep on her stomach again is not good and I cannot have her sick even for a single day for the entire month.”

“right.” He could tell the woman was bothered by the tone of his words but it didn't matter he was not paying anyone to see his girl being neglected anyway, he watched the woman leave the room and turned his attention to Miranda again.

She had returned to the tv in front of the couch with bowtie by her side, the cat seemed to not mind the ruthless affection from before or anything the girl did to him, he is good at this. Most animals became very aggressive or uncomfortable at his presence which made the search for a pet difficult for him but for some reason this specific cat has not shown the same reaction even when provoked and that made him the perfect candidate for a companion.

Arhur tried to think of anything that she would like after he noticed that the first days of readjustment have not softened up their relationship. She is scared of me but doest say it. And he couldn't blame her neither the people around him would smile and treat him like he was a normal person but their faces never manage hide the uneasiness, despite having one eye now his vision was still sharp to see the true but miranda was still a child and children are easily scared by anything and so he decided try to gain her favor by the only means he was familiar with: gifts, it was a good idea at first but when arthur tried to actually find something that wasn't trivial he found out quickly that every idea he had could go very wrong i could commission someone or make something myself but nothing felt right.

The worst that could happen is that she hated it and he would have yet another thing to worry about in the form of an undesirable relationship. He asked for advice from multiple people and the answer came in the form of a passing comment “have you thought about a dog?One of my ex boyfriends got me one when I was seventeen,we broke up but I kept the dog and that relationship lasted for twelve years until sharky died.” he was not so interested with having his new house infested by constant barking and dirt but the idea stuck was the perfect solution still a dog even a small one would be a nuisance however a cat might be a better candidate for his small family necessities and so here we are.

About an hour later Lynn came to said goodbye to them and walked away from the place leaving the three of them alone in the house. He decided it was about time to have an important talk with the girl and sat on the couch near her. “Miranda come here, I want to tell you something.” when she was in front of him,he looked at her and started to speak “i know you don't feel at home here yet and that i'll have to do a lot for your wellbeing from now on.”he continued “but i want you to understand that you're my daughter now and that like any father i want you to be happy,just know that you ́re important for me and there would be never anyone else that can take that spot from you.” after those words left Arthur's mouth he thought saw a glimpse of something black & white in the corner of his vision but when he turned to see it there was only bowtie leaving the room to explore the house on his own, his attention was back at Miranda's face again “I'm promising you that things will get better but it takes time and I can't always be around so he is going to be your friend while I'm out.” He waited and her response took a while but after a bit of an awkward silence she finally managed to gather some courage and said “thank you.” In a shy tiny voice that did not have a single indication of confidence in the slightest. I guess that's a positive answer…well I have an entire day off now soo what now?. He figured it was up for him to break the tension If he was being honest Arthur didn't feel like being stuck isolated in his office again specially on a saturday,so he look at her and said “What do you want for dinner?I'm not cooking so you can ask for whatever you want because I am just going to lay on the couch and watch TV for the rest of the weekend.”

author´s note : english is not my native linguage so i´m at risk of making mistakes despite having revised this three times also this is my first fic so is mostly exposition dump, i will work to make the writting better for the next ones but for now is just this and yes is a light fluff sorry if you come from something gruesome or depressing these i´m saving for later.

#my art #fanart #fanfic #fanfiction #artists on tumblr #doodle #h&h #harmony & horror #harmony and horror #harmony & horror AU #h&h au #Heir AU #martin greywhinder #miranda greywhinder #bowtie #tumblr copy and paste fuction is weird #free for critism btw

[sidemari]

• Not my thing •

A NSFW one-shot about our favorite detective from Teyvat.

Character: Shikanoin Heizou x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Consensual sexual relation, semi-public sex, soft dom reader, mild teasing, unprotected sex and mild praising kink.

Author's notes: This ask was the main inspiration for this work. Remember to be polite if you want to share any thoughts of yours about this text.

Art: @lukrlyn on Pinterest.

The frustrating and complex case you had been figuring out for months now was finally solved and with that, the possible worst part of being a detective arrived. You should now expose every single piece of information you had gathered to the Tenryou Commission during a long and stressful meeting.

Curious, envious and enraged eyes didn't leave your frame as you slowly and concisely explained your conclusion and final decision on that case.

"I can't believe this... And they say you're efficient" One detective said bitterly, trying to get under your skin to destabilize you out of pure rivalry.

With that line, a buzz started once again inside that specific room of the Tenryou Commission. Most of the participants agreed with your choice of condemning the accused, even if the voices from those who despised your final work seemed louder on that reunion.

The only thing that made you feel sheltered was the presence of your boyfriend Shikanoin Heizou, another detective and young prodigy just like you.

"Heizou... I'm exhausted from this"

His eyebrows furrowed in concern because of how hopeless your voice sounded and his fingers caressed your cheeks to bring you some comfort in such distressing moment.

You barely felt his hand leaving your face to go and squeeze your thigh as a way to tease and ignite your nerves.

Your focus was set once again on the heated discussion of the other members of the commission, and because of that, Heizou's brisk fingers slowly seeking their way inside your baggy clothing almost slipped from your attention.

"Can I at least finish defending my point? On the case I was assigned to solve?" You said firmly, bringing silence to the place. "Everyone here is deserving of appreciation. Every single one of us have the ability needed to be an detective working to such powerful and important organization, but that doesn't mean we have the same ideals or logic" You took a pause, suppressing all the emotions you were feeling before finishing your last thought of that afternoon.

But your mind was totally blank.

No other thoughts crossed your hazy mind besides fulfilling your boyfriend's devilishly desires and your body's urges.

Fuck Heizou for being such a sly man.

His middle finger was stimulating your clit strongly enough to have you squirming on your sit. The slim digit abused the sensitivity of your sex with so skilled movements it was hard to concentrate and finish your line.

"What I mean by that... What I'm trying to say..." Your voice was shaky and you went silent as a tentative to hold back a moan.

"Do you perhaps need some water, Ms?"

You were fucked.

Completely screwed.

The other Tenryou Commission people had already noticed something was off.

It was a matter of time they'd notice the lewd actions of your boyfriend under that tablecloth of the Yumemiru wood furniture.

"She needs this stupid meeting to be finished as soon as possible" Heizou's voice was clean and irritated.

The constant thrusting of his fingers didn't stop at all while he criticized his profession colleagues.

"Let's be rational, shall we? If the leader of the Tenryou Commission approved her final decision and even said her approach to that case was efficient and satisfactory, I think this arguing is not only useless but irritating"

When you felt some tension forming inside your walls - so ready to snap at any second - was when the teasing stopped abruptly.

"If you all allow me, I'll take (Name) home. She's not feeling so well and as a responsible person, I must take care of her"

And with that, you finally left the overwhelming ambience.

"Shikanoin Heizou! What the hell do you have inside your sick mind?"

"It's not like you didn't enjoy it, right?"

"H-Heizou!"

"Let's take this to my place. You need to forget this meeting more than anyone"

° • • • ° • • • °

"Hey babe... Please stop teasing me... I promise I'll be a good boy for you" Heizou's voice was nothing more than a whimper when your fingers stimulated his boner from above the fabric of his underwear.

"Should I even listen to whatever you're mumbling? You didn’t really hear me when I asked you to stop your little show" You kissed the skin right above his crotch, making his body jolt under you.

"Ah! You know I'm s-sensitive there- Argh, just let me be inside you already" Yet, another soft kiss against your boyfriend's lower belly made him gasp in anticipation.

"What happened to your promise from seconds ago? See, I have a point..." Your soft lips pressed some kisses against his erection, action that made Heizou squirm and groan.

"Please... I need you so badly..." He gasped quietly, trying to convince you to let him take the lead, or at least, to let him finally take you on the spot. "You know following rules was never my thing. I just wanted to play around with you, is all"

Regret was all over his face.

Perhaps it was a strategy.

Or perhaps it was mere manipulation.

But you were satisfied with how much devotion you squeezed from his soul.

Your heart was pounding on your chest while adrenalin kept running non-stop inside your veins.

Every single nerve from your body was ignited, ready to provide you the most sinful reactions and sensations.

It was only fair to feel like that when you weren't used to being the one in control. Yet, finally gaining the guts, you made the first step towards the good time you'd spend together.

Your hands made their way to his underwear, swiftly taking off the only thing that stopped the man under from being able to love you properly.

Welcoming him inside your walls never felt so captivating to the both of you.

By the moment Heizou felt he was completely inside you his hands grasped your hips tightly as a way to guide your movements on a steady pace that had you two completely surrendered to each other.

Only small whimpers and gasps left his lips, but if he could say something, he would admit that the warmth of your insides was heavenly to him and that the constant squeezing of your walls was enough to send shivers of pleasure down his spine.

Heizou's hands only left your hips by the time he felt the urge to kiss your lips. Pulling you down so your body could rest partially against his abs, you had to slow down your movements in order to get comfortable and finally kiss your lover.

"This feels s-so perfect" He gasped during a short break from the constant kissing.

When you returned to the previous pace, Heizou's face framed the most genuine expression he had done in a while.

A single tear left one of his eyes only to get lost on his burgundy hair as his hands gripped the bedsheets under him.

In the heat of the moment, Shikanoin still felt that he should provide you some the pleasure you delivered to him, at the very least.

One of his shaky hands started stimulating your bundle of nerves, making you melt above him. The other one made its way up to your lips, brushing them with his thumb as a way to get access to your mouth.

You understood quickly you needed to get his fingertips wet and warm and you fulfilled your task with ease.

That very own hand massaged the chosen breast of yours with mastery and desire. His fingertips moved around your nipples with the right amount of pressure to make them perky and sensitive enough to give you goosebumps.

It became hard to keep up the pace of your soft thrusts and that was when you knew you were close. Heizou's stimulation on your breasts and sex gave the last momentum required for you to come undone, with him right after you.

"Come here" Your boyfriend's arms were open so you could lay down on top of him to just receive all of the love he had to offer. "You did so well for me"

"Really?" You asked quietly, while some anxiety formed inside your mind, making you shiver and stay silent. It was visible that the heat of the moment was fading away, bringing back the worries.

"Hey... Look at me, please" His eyes felt warm and they carried the purest kind of love.

"You're enough, you're loved, you're flawless, my love. I fall for you every single day, since the first time our gaze met for the first time. I won't allow the stress of our duties disperse your glow and joy" The forehead kiss the man gave you transmitted his admiration immaculately, lifting up your spirits and warming your soul.

"Thank you, Heizou..."

"Ne, little one... May I tease you out in public some more times? I just liked the outcome of it all"

"Heizou..."

"You know that following rules was never my thing :)"

#heizou #heizou x reader #heizou smut #genshin smut #genshin x reader #genshin oneshot #genshin fanfic #genshin imagines #shikanoin heizou #shikanoin heizou smut #genshin scenarios #dont flop #genshin lemon #heizou lemon

[lily-orchard]

There's something about the way you write women that I like but I can't put my finger on. Like, they're not all generic "girlboss" characters and that's nice

I think what you're looking for is that womanhood is diverse.

One problem female characters have had for decades is that many writers have their ideal version of womanhood and present that as the only viable option. You can see this in JK Rowling's work where every female character has their heroic qualities defined primarily by motherhood and those who either aren't mothers or aren't enthused about motherhood are villains by proxy.

On the opposite end you have shit like early Nostalgia Chick, which harshly criticized any female character that had a personality more nuanced than "Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss." Which is just as harmful because it's tacitly saying "This is the right way to be a woman."

It's the same logic by which many feminists often associate the tools of oppression with the oppression itself. I think this is most obvious with the hijab. Laws in middle eastern countries that mandate women wear them are oppressive, but laws in western countries banning them outright are equally oppressive because you're still trying to legislate what women are allowed to wear.

This is further compounded by the fact that many Strong Female Characters Trademark are often the ONLY female characters in their respective stories. Ideally you should have more than one, who all have different perspectives.

This is how we write. Aliana is extremely ambitious and has plans to leave her mark on the galaxy, but she's also deeply maternal and desires children of her own. And the matrilineal nature of her family gives an understandable throughline as to why. She had a good relationship with her mother, and it made her want to be one herself.

By contrast, Rey is neither ambitious nor all that enthusiastic about motherhood. She loves her kids of course, but she's never drawn the same fulfilling joy that Aliana does from it. But the story doesn't demonize her for it. We've never suggested that Rey's apathy and lack of drive to make her mark on the galaxy was something she needs to overcome. There's no real urgency to rebuild the Jedi, she'll do it when she's good and ready and not a moment before.

Horde Champion does something similar. Sylvanas is ambitious and career driven, but Anevay would eagerly hang up her warblade and become a homemaker the second she was given the option. And both perspectives are treated as equally valid.

I've talked about it in the past with regards to tropes, but it's just as present here. Bad writers view the world in a hierarchy. There can't simply be multiple perspectives on womanhood that are equally valid. They have to be ranked. If one is good, the other must be bad. In the same way bad writers and fandom look for the single best combination of tropes to make the best story possible because they think tropes can be ranked, they do the same thing with the way characters present themselves.

There really is no solution other than to stop ranking people. Career oriented women don't need to chill, and domestically oriented women don't need to be rescued.

[posletsvet]

Hi! Jujutsu Kaisen worms are eating at my brain and I'm a little bit mad currently, so I felt like sharing my thoughts about Geto Suguru's character.

I'm still kind of new to the fandom (and totally new to the experience of posting anything on Tumblr – or posting at all, honestly), and therefore my take can be completely out of the left field / half-baked / inherently wrong. So, though I will accept all sticks and stones, please don't throw them too hard!

And perhaps one last disclaimer: English is not my mother tongue, so um... apologies for all grammar and punctuation and any other mistakes I might have made.

Under the cut!! :]

To me, Geto seems to be a type of person who needs something to guide him, some clear-cut ideal to make it possible for him to navigate through his life. He is pedantic in that sense: the sharp outlines of his views define his surroundings, the very way he looks at things and perceives them. He needs everything to fall precisely in line with his own set of ideals, which seems to be quite verified and well-adjusted within his mind, like a strict and refined concept he constructed for himself, like a routine he's used to following out of pure principal.

His own belief system being so defined, it's that which makes him indulge in excessive discourse on the subject of morality and responsibility, like he's patiently laying out the basics in front of a disobedient child to help them wrap their mind around some fundamental truth that is so obvious and natural for him. (And yeah, I know it's probably just the story presenting to its audience the mindset of one of the characters – perhaps in a way not so subtle and gracious – and whatnot, but I just can't help but dwell upon what that might say about Geto's character.)

Geto can also be called somewhat a perfectionist: a model student, by the book sort of guy with his politeness and insisting on sticking to the hierarchy of things, fulfilling orders and carrying out missions impeccably, claiming him a name of second strongest. He is shown to be constantly in control of himself, appearing calm and collected whereas Gojo is head-on bursting with emotion and energy, expressing himself on a whim and perhaps out of it. (Compare how Geto did not disturb a single speck of dust in Amanai's school to how Gojo gladly blew up a whole office building.) Geto's firm and confident hold on himself and his emotions is very well reflected through his cursed technique: he controls his curses with precision and caution, even making sure to keep fragile window glass intact while summoning an enormous curse. This action comes natural to him, like something he's already used to and mindful about: in the end, it's all to keep people's hearts at peace.

(It's interesting in a way of how it is symbolic within the flow of the story and in hindsight of a villain Geto will go on to become. How it is indicative of his own emotions, his spite and his stress, being repressed in order for him to remain cool-headed and perhaps make his appearance more convenient, reassuring to those around him. Peace of heart, remember? He makes his every action, his every expression fit into the contour of How Things Should Be, represses himslef – until he eventually, and quite predictably, snaps. And no, I will not for the love of me shut up about how all the curses confined within his body, their number growing exponentially with every mission he completes, are symbolic of his state of mind and heart, of how bile and resentment gradually build up inside of him.)

Geto's whole worldview and outlook on the order of things rely on his empathetic nature and his strong sense of justice. Protect the weak, protect the suffering for you have the strength – hence you have a duty to fulfill and obligations to attend to. The system is just and fair for it is organized in favour of the innocent and helpless and pushes those who wield power to claim responsibility and dedicate their might to a righteous cause. It's democracy in its purest: the ruler, a single digit who holds the reigns of control and power, is humbled in the service of looking out for powerless, inept masses. In his eyes, the present system is a well-oiled machine which purpose is to involve all the resources at disposal and use their full potential in order to achieve Greater Good, with everyone being assigned a role that suits their capabilities and skills.

But with the Star Plasma Vessel Incident and everything that follows suit in the following year, that view is challenged relentlessly. A man who can't even manipulate cursed energy assasinates the strongest sorcerer of the generation (*coughs* temporarily). An innocent, inexcusably young girl who in her last moments just wanted to live her life falls victim to the system. A crowd of non-sorcerers applauding the death of the girl, of someone who was raised to sacrifice everything she held dear in order to ensure their safety. The loss of Yu Haibara.

The majority is kept safe, ignorant to the expense of their blissful existence, while the minority is being readily sacrificed over and over again. It’s that which Geto grows unwilling to put up with, because he whole-heartedly believed in the legitimacy of the system, believed that it was his well-deserved responsbility to look out for others, those who are weaker than him and therefore require protection. And yet he's witnessing one death after the other and is cornered in the feeling of helplessness, unable to save anyone. The realisation slowly settles in: the system is treating its sorcerers as disposable tools, cogs in the arrangement of greater things where a loss of an individual is something tragic yet almost expectable.

Nothing out of the ordinary. A hideous evil known to everyone.

(So, Getou is a staunch idealist and a perfectionist. Which is why he just cannot move on from something that otherwise could be deemed by others (and the audience in the first place, I guess) as something to draw additional motivation from, becoming stronger over experienced hardships. His whole worldview falls short, shatters to pieces after one single blow. But he keeps going on missions, gets caught up in an endless cycle of exorcism and consumption, ends up all alone with dark thoughts, and regret, and doubt, churning in his mind, while tragedies keep bombarding his little, no longer functional illusion. His downfall had been a slow yet steady process long before he snapped.)

His solution to kill all non-sorcerers, ultimately gaining for himself a reputation of the most evil of curse users, seems to me as an extension of his previous idealistic mindset. Everything he does has to fall in line with his goal – and he's already wiped out the population of a whole village. How can one possibly justify that without warping their vision with far-fetched delusion of what could have been? That's how his attitude becomes radical: push the system to evolve by becoming its villain.

And still after everything, isn't it him escaping the system out of fear and desparation? Him shaking off the tremendous weight of being a cog running in a machine that is fundamentally not working and feeding on the fuel of countless sacrifices? He never looks back since his last confrontation with Gojo because he is driven by fear, and disgust, and despair, and oh, he consumed so, so many curses. Manifestation of the sins of humanity sit in the pit of his stomach, and don't they say you are what you eat?

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #geto suguru #gojo satoru #(mentioned) #meta #kind of? #if all of it seems like incomprehensible incoherent gibberish #that's because it is #it really is #i feel like i could have gone further with it #but words started to exhaust me

[aphroditelovesu]

could I request yandere stefan salvatore hcs?

"I would never forgive myself if something happened to you." - Stefan Salvatore.

❝–🧛🏻 Lady L: Definitely! My boy Stefan deserved much more :( I still didn't get over his ending, it was completely unfair and, almost 5 years since the end of TVD, I'm still angry with it. I liked how the hc's turned out and I hope you like it too, anon. Ah, by the way, why do I suddenly feel a strong urge to make a platonic yandere for the Salvatore brothers? 👀

❝–🧛🏻 TW: yandere themes in general, such as murder, mention of murder, implicit torture, obsessive and possessive behavior, dub-con (forced transformation) and mention of blood.

❝–🧛🏻 Pairing: Yandere!Stefan Salvatore x Gender Neutral!Reader

Stefan Salvatore is a dedicated, loving and empathetic yandere. He loves you so much, in a way he's never loved anyone before. Stefan doesn't understand why he feels this desperate need to be by your side, but he does and he doesn't plan on going anywhere.

Stefan is the very definition of a soft yandere, in case, just for you. He could never hurt you, just the thought of trying to hurt you in some way is enough to make him panic. It's an understatement to say you can do anything he won't lock you up or punish you, you can get out of any ''dangerous'' situation that you find yourself with Stefan, he's too soft for you.

You can do anything that Stefan won't lift a single finger to hurt you, but the only thing he's not allowing is you to walk away from him. You are not leaving this man in any way.

Stefan will never admit it to anyone, not you or his brother, but he's become needy over the centuries. He is hungry for attention and affection, more precisely, your attention and caresses. You're like a drug to Stefan, one he can't and doesn't want to quit.

He goes from 80 to 180 really fast when it comes to you. Stefan rarely loses control or gets too violent, but if you are in danger everything will be ignored and he will become what he abhors most, a true monster. Perhaps, in that case, he will once again become The Ripper. It all depends on how much hurt you are. No one can even think of hurting you, let alone do it! If Stefan is feeling merciful, which is hard when it comes to you, he can make their deaths quick but painful. Either way, whoever hurt you will die.

There's nothing he won't do for you and I'll say anything myself. You can ask him for the most absurd things and he will fulfill your wishes, nothing is more important to Stefan than your happiness.

If you're human, he'll be inflexible about turning you into a vampire. Although he doesn't want to condemn you to the life of a vampire, Stefan doesn't want you to die so he'd rather be a hypocrite and change you, even if you don't want to be a vampire. You can scream and cry all you want, Stefan will just keep saying that this is "for your own good" while kissing your neck lovingly.

However, things change if you are not human. If you're already a vampire Stefan will want to know in detail who turned you and if you wanted that, if you've willingly accepted becoming a vampire, he won't do anything, but if you were forced to, oh well, God have mercy for the vampire who had change you because Stefan won't.

Stefan doesn't care about your kind, whether you're human, vampire, witch, werewolf or whatever, he just wants you. In every possible way, you are the only person that matters to him, regardless of your species, he will always take care of and protect you. You like it or not, Stefan will always be there for you.

He's very empathetic, as said before, Stefan doesn't like and doesn't want to hurt people, to be honest, but he loves you and not them. If he has to choose you or them, it will always be you. He would rather kill the entire population of Mystic Falls than allow anything to happen to you.

He is a potential danger to himself. Stefan has a self-destructive personality, if he feels that he could become a potential threat to you, Stefan will instruct you to go as far away from him as possible. He doesn't want you to leave him, but he'd rather be abandoned than lose control and when he regains consciousness he finds you lying in your own pool of blood.

Stefan would never force you to do anything, he is too noble and protective to be able to do anything against your will. You will definitely never need to worry about the thought of him forcing himself on you, because he won't, even if he were compelled to do anything to hurt you, either physically or psychologically, he will fight the hypnosis.

You became the most important person to Stefan, nothing and no one is that important to him, not even his brother. The love he has for you that has slowly but surely turned into a deep obsession is stronger than anything in the entire world. Stefan got to the point where he couldn't imagine his life without you, his better half.

Stefan Salvatore is a dangerous yandere to people who try to hurt you, but never to you. He loves you so much, nothing and no one can intervene between you. If Katherine or Klaus, or anyone else, tried to hurt you to hurt him, Stefan would try to get rid of them once and for all. No one can touch you, his sweet and innocent obsession. You will stay with him, right? Be a good girl/boy and just allow yourself to be loved by Stefan and he will give you the world.

#yandere stefan salvatore #yandere the vampire diaries #yandere tvd #yandere stefan salvatore x reader #yandere stefan salvatore headcanons #stefan salvatore x reader #yandere headcanons #the vampire diaries #tvd

[mooremars]

Camelot 2023 Act 2 ramblings about the music and book and also the visuals again because turns out one post wasn't enough.

I still cannot possibly recommend anyone actually read this because it is so absurdly, comically long but I still needed to get even more feelings out.

Act 2, Scene 1: The castle courtyard one year later:

• "We shouldn't be alone together" like girl

• I love how she's almost exasperated by it

• When she fantasized about this all-consuming high-stakes love she probably didn't think about how exhausting it would be to actually live with it all the time

• Like having this conversation every single month does sound exhausting

• The way she's actively trying to drive him out of Camelot, Genny is so much and I respect it

• She's really doing her best in a way that involves truly torturing Lance, he should really do some soul searching about why he loves someone who treats him this way

• "I've trained dogs to chase you"/"And those dogs were fast.. the expression his bark is worse than his bite that wasn't my experience"

• Sorkin slightly breaking the tension of this scene which is so needed

• "You're not English"/"Neither are you"/"I think that changed when I became queen of England"

• I also feel like there is a lot to unpack in this exchange

• "And when would I do that Genny?"

• The angst in that delivery

• If Ever I Should Leave You is so gorgeous

• I think it was Sorkin who basically said that the show doesn't need magic because the songs provide enough magic on their own and this is the perfect example

• Jordan Donica is tremendous

• I knew him from Charmed and it took me a bit to place him but holy shit

• I may have actually seen him before, I'd have to check but regardless I need to be paying attention to literally any theater he does because I want to go

• This applies to all of them, who am I kidding

• Anyway, he's amazing here and I am probably underselling him in this post because I only saw him half the times and so my memories are much less clear

• And my reference is closing which was not him by this point

• And the outro music (? sorry I know nothing about music) is absolutely stunning

• This song is so romantic but also very shallow

• They're fulfilling a version of love that is all big gestures and big feelings but not necessarily substance

• Because they're trying to fill a void in themselves using the other and when you do that, you can't see the person as an actual person

• Just an extension of your unmet need

• Which is too bad because I think if they weren't, they might actually like each other

• But fuck is this song so romantic

• Every lyric is good, the way they're sung, I think I may for the first time have use of the phrase swoon worthy

• Specifically the end

• "I have a thrilling engagement. I'm giving prizes at the potato show. I'm eager to find out what the qualities of a prize winning potato are"/"I'll be at your side Ma'am"/"Thank goodness for that, those potatoes can be dangerous"

• The lines are so funny and her delivery is so heartbreaking, I am suffering

• I do just love Genny so much and she deserves happiness dammit

• "So the rumors are true, the chain of wedlock is so heavy in Camelot it takes three to carry it"

• Mordred coming out with the one liners immediately

• "He's willing to make any old man a knight I see"

• Pelli immediately threatening violence, beautiful

• The whininess of "I shall be busy tomorrow afternoon" and slapping the bench

• Fourteen year old edgelord Mordred

• Very interesting to have him be a year younger than Arthur was when he became king, really underscoring how young he was

• "I was raising by a mother with a fatally broken heart. Makes for a dark childhood"

• Like do we think Mordred is just trying to drum up Arthur's sympathies or is this actually true?

• "And when you speak to the king, you should remember you're speaking to the king"

• Arthur literally never insists on any manner of kingly respect but his son is a little shit that he hates, so he will

• Love that

• "Dispatch to the court, the king has a child he fathered out of wedlock. Problem solved."

• The blackmail just instantly failing is very funny

• Also would love to know how the conversation about this between Genny and Arthur went

• "I'm not ashamed of you. You don't embarass me though it's not for lack of trying."

• That's too generous, Mordred is embarrassing

• "It's always been my wish that you and your mother stay here where I can take care of you both"/"Stay where, in the servants' quarters?"/"In any quarters you like"/"Except the queen's"

• I wonder if Mordred is the one who feels this way or if he's just parroting back what Morgan has said

• "I was a boy when I met your mother"/"And my mother turned you into a man"/"A man named Merlyn turned me into a man"/"That's a new bit of palace gossip"/"No you idiot, he was my teacher"

• Obviously sarcastic Arthur is always a treat and specifically the facial expression and tone of no you idiot

• But just so curious about Morgan and Arthur because Arthur gets pissed at that whole turned into a man bit

• And he has been pretty chill with Mordred being terrible for this whole scene

• He's very much not comfortable with what Mordred is saying and this is the only moment where Mordred gets under his skin and like that is very interesting

• "In this place the law applies equally to everyone"/"Even the king and queen?"/"Especially the king and queen"

• You are literally watching the light bulb pop over Mordred's head and it's played perfectly

• Everyone in this cast is perfect

• The Seven Deadly Virtues has no right to be this funny

• "Making my Beelzebubble burst" is my favorite but really this entire song is great

• It's such a petulant performance and it's perfect

Act 2, Scene 2: The King's study

• Another amazing bit of scene change music

• The intimacy of them spending their evening playing chess together and talking

• Presumably this is just what they do on a lot of nights and I love it

• I feel like there's definitely potential in a their relationship through chess fic

• Someone please

• I firmly believe they are at like a full 50-50 split in terms of who wins

• "Are you really reading while you're chasing me around the board?"/"Sorry I didn't hear you, I was reading and chasing you around the board"

• And his okay in the middle like he knows he set himself up to get mocked

• Making fun of each other is one of my favorite love languages

• Also same structure as Arthur telling her it will seem that she's rooting for Lancelot to lose and she says that's because she is rooting for Lancelot to lose

• It's just a fun little dialouge thing that I enjoy Genny doing

• Makes her lines feel hers

• I love that Arthur has Merlyn's final warning on his mind so naturally he consults Genny

• And then it devolving into a philosophical discussion about what is and is not possible

• "I was 10,000th person to try, how do you explain that?"/"9,999 people loosened it"

• A perfect and funny line that becomes sweet and profound later on, I will never not love that

• "We have greatness in our grasp, humanity does, but for some reason every time we see it we assign the responsibility to some supernatural force. Or to god."

• You would think given the structure of the love triangle that Arthur would be set up to scoff at the idea that god has responsibility for human greatness in contrast to Lance being extremely devout

• And like I do think Arthur and Genny are actually on the same page but I enjoy that she gets to voice that thought

• This is the woman who first ran away and then threw prayer on top after as a little afterthought so yeah perhaps Genny is not the best catholic

• "Perhaps when he died, his soul transmogrified-"/"What did I just say?"

• Arthur immediately needling her and doing that stupid little hand motion on transmogrified

• They're adorable

• "I enjoy seeing you get riled up"

• This is what you say to a woman you're about to call your business partner? In that way?

• I don't know who to blame because I can't tell if the line or delivery is more of the culprit

• No it's the delivery, I have literally put in the audio as proof

• The audacity, I'm obsessed

• He's got it so bad

• Could've had this Genny

• Like Mr. Purity of Soul who thinks women can't possibly understand politics has absolutely never considered the concept of female pleasure, for sure has never heard of foreplay, and definitely believes the clit and g-spot are both myths

• I love Lance but proposition: there's no way that man is good in bed

• Everything else mean I've said about Lance has been out of love but I love Genny and she doesn't deserve mediocre dick

• And yet he's playing by Jordan Donica so it is also valid and understandable

• Sorry, I digress but gotta find the humor in the whole none of them get to be happy business

• But actually I really appreciate that even in this tragic narrative with big ideas and a lot of angst, they get to have fun and be fun

• Even as their relationship is about to hit its breaking point, you can still tell they're not just torturedly in love but they actually like each other so much

• "And while you're enjoying it, let me ask you this... how often do you write to her?"

• Genny is attempting to play it cool but boy is she not

• The little pause between often and write and then to her, oof

• It's so soft but like the hint is there

• The silence while Arthur makes his move on the board, ugh

• "I send a letter a week"/"Every week?"/"Yes"/"For how long?"/"Mordred's fourteen, he came to me when he was ten so four years"/"That's 208 letters"/"I have a responsibility there, I'm trying to do-"/"Do the chivalrous thing"/"Yes"

• It's so painful to hear their deliveries and realize they're having two separate conversations where they're both upset and they don't understand the other person is feeling the same

• Like Genny getting alarmed at 208 letters, Arthur getting frustrated and defensive about it and cutting Genny's last line off, and then Genny delivery of do the chivalrous thing like she's so tired

• It is so besides the point but how exactly was Arthur expecting the fucking soap opera and/or sitcom situation he's trying to create going

• Like his piece of shit kid, his ex who hates him, his wife that he loves whose feelings for him he doesn't have a handle on, and his bestie whose feelings for his wife Arthur definitely does know

• I know castles are very big but I don't think they're big enough to make that situation good for anyone

• "You've never asked me her name"/"Is it Morgan Le Fay?"/"How did you know that?"/"And she's a scientist"

• Genny has been holding this in for a whole year and she's finally ready to use it

• She says it like she's caught Arthur in some kind of lie which obviously she hasn't but I do wonder if she's had this conversation in her head enough times that she's already thinking the worst

• "He blames me for her condition. All the more reason why I want them both to be here at the castle. She needs care."

• That long pause before condition and the way he says it like maybe Arthur also blames himself

• And they're still playing chess throughout this whole thing as if they can pretend that this conversation isn't causing them both pain

• The sound of the pieces getting moved on the board while during the tense silences, yes

• And now we get to me being emotionally destroyed

• This scene is a roller coaster and the writing and acting of it is perfect in every way

• "We're more than king and queen, you and I. Don't you think?"

• He's so unsure, he's always so unsure it is torture

• The emphasis on you

• But also he does in some way recognize that she's upset about Morgan and he gets so close but spectacularly fails

• Genny is so hopeful on the "Yes, yes I do"

• Him stammering out and Genny trying one more yes to get him to come up with something

• And then that something is business partners

• In my brain I am screaming

• I have done nothing but make fun of Arthur for business partners (and friends) since I first saw this show and I will continue to do it now

• However I do think that for him, in the context of his experience being thrust into royalty, he is actually expressing a very romantic sentiment

• He meets Genny and tells her about Camelot and she doesn't think she's worthy of that

• But here he's affirming that she is, that she's his partner in this and he recognizes her worth

• They talk in the second scene and she mentions that as a princess she doesn't have friends

• And here he's telling her that they are friends, that she isn't alone

• And we see how uncomfortable Arthur is being treated as the king

• And he's trying to tell Genny that he cares for her as a person and not just the queen he traded for in a treaty

• He wants her to see him that way because if she sees him as just Arthur and not the king, then maybe he can tell her how he feels

• But also maybe it you are a man and your confession of love to a woman contains the words "I know this is an unusual thing for a man to say about a woman but" you have turned down the wrong path

• "Yes. Friends. And business partners"

• Her delivery is so ice cold, it's perfect

• The fact that she says this and even Arthur picks up on her tone and knows he fucked up

• Arthur trying to fix things and being interrupted

• His frustration with himself is so heartbreaking

• I am still screaming in my brain just louder now

• Pelli is great but also he is the cause of so many of Arthur and Genny's resentments and miscommunications, the man's a magnet for drama

• He's so funny in this scene trying to complain to Arthur and Arthur already knowing all of Mordred's bullshit

• And yelling dammit so many times in the most perfect way like me with every person who has ever annoyed me

• "Because England doesn't have a law against limericks"

• The fact that even though they're in the middle of this weird emotional mess, Arthur looks to Genny when he's talking about how Pelli's question is complicated

• His thinking buddy

• And business partner

• Also the idea that Arthur is so chill with the fact that he doesn't have the answer, that he's laying groundwork for future progress instead of assuming it will be accomplished by him

• Which is just inherently a concept I think I struggle with, that the world will not change in all the ways it should in my lifetime but the work now still has to be done

• So I like to see it

• Not going to write out another good Sorkin speech about ideas but I love this one too rest assured

• And we've had a nice little break, now we're back to chess and Arthur trying to force out something coherent and me screaming in my brain again

• I still can't get over the way they're still playing chess I'm sorry

• Genny saying "you're in check" with a different delivery every time to convey her emotional state

• The range

• Arthur just trying so hard to come up with anything again, I am personally suffering

• "What I feel-"/"I thought it was right on the money"/"Oh you do?"

• Then I think he says "oh okay" but I don't even know

• They were so close this is the worst

• Still chess

• "Do you regret being born a princess?"/"I'm confident that most people would gladly trade their problems for mine"/"But you're not talking to them right now"

• Firstly the show does an amazing job recontexualizing What Do the Simple Folk Do and everything around it so A+ for that

• But also Arthur is so empathetic in this moment

• "I know you're sad sometimes. That you miss whatever life you were searching for the night you ran from the carriage. The simple joys of maidenhood you called it. You do a good job of hiding it from the court but when you feel sad you-"/"can talk to my business partner?"/"Well I think I might be good at cheering you up"

• The delivery is so sincere

• He sees her pain and he cares so much

• He feels responsible for the life that she missed out on by marrying him

• And he wants to help

• In many ways, he is terrible at expressing his feelings but again in some small respects, he does absolutely knock it out of the park

• Even if Genny can't see it

• "If there was a tournament for cheering you up, I think I'd win"/"Oh as long as there wasn't a bird nearby"/"It wasn't just any bird, it was a white tailed eagle both times"

• The way they move from emotional conversations and annoyed miscommunications back to humor with such ease

• Arthur's bird obsession continues to be one of the best bits of characterization ever

• Genny making fun of Arthur's various words for peasants

• I love What Do the Simple Folk Do so much

• It's just perfectly constructed and the rhymes are pretty genius

• I love every single lyric

• And I love that this song gives Arthur and Genny a chance to be charming and reconnect after the second half of act 1 and the beginning of act 2 were so focused on Genny and Lance

• And then this scene has so much going on that it reminds you why they're the couple of the show

• I didn't need reminding because I'm trash for them but other people might

• All of the little jokes between the lyrics are so funny

• The delivery of "the very last thing you should have is encouragement" is so much funnier than on the cast recording

• Like what is this? So charming

• "My father used to say I sang like an angel who'd been blessed with a particularly pretty singing voice"

• I'm so glad this is at least on the cast recording

• She plays it so straight, it's so good

• This may be my favorite of the songs

• And the dance, they're so cute, the squeeling kills me

• I can't adequately express how much I need to find a bootleg so I can witness this again, the whole scene really but mostly this

• I cannot handle the way they say "Genny"/"Your Majesty"

• Fuuuuck

• The groan in the audience at "a letter from my mother", the pure expression of fuck Mordred

• "He's been waiting a long time."/"Yes"/"My mother was his first, you know"/"I had that sense, yes"/"They say you never fully get over your first love"

• Genny hates Mordred so much and she's right

• He's hitting her exactly where it hurts but Arthur can't even tell

• Also fascinating that Mordred can actually see the dynamic between Genny and Arthur and Lance so much more clearly than the people involved

• "You think you might possibly be spending the night?"

• Like her deliveries were getting more panicked but then this one

• Like she can't even believe what she's hearing and he doesn't even get it

• The long silence after Mordred says Lance has the queen's protection detail

• As people make mmms in the audience

• And then their last little exchange

• Ouch

• Genny telling Arthur what she herself actually needs to be told and Arthur having no clue

• "His queen's in danger"

• Mordred is the absolute worst and it's perfect

• The reprise of the Simple Joys of Maidenhood, so sad and I can't handle it

• I think this is her moment of just fully sitting in the idea that her husband doesn't love her and sees her so completely separate from that that he doesn't even understand why she's so upset to see him dash away overnight to see another woman

• And that he therefore doesn't and won't love her in the way she's singing about

• And thinking that she has the knight pining for her but it isn't enough and sets up her trying to make it enough

• She's grown so much since she first sang the song but she still can't fill the void of wanting this kind of love

• But also knowing that kind of love isn't enough

• I love her

Act 2, Scene 3: The home of Morgan Le Fey/Guenevere's Chamber/ Castle corridor - on that evening

• The into music to Morgan is gorgeous, perhaps my favorite

• It's hard to introduce an important character this late into the show and make them so memorable, even if they've been hanging over the narrative for a while now

• And still have them knock it out of the park but once again, this show is perfectly cast

• The tension of this whole scene is everything

• Morgan's laugh and then "Jesus christ it's the king of England"

• Immediately sets her up perfectly

• And we get something totally different out of Arthur

• I love their dialouge which I am once again trying not to just fully write out, I love their chemistry, I love how quickly their friendliness breaks down

• He does sound genuinely happy to see her at the beginning but as soon as he asks if she's feeling well, they start to cool

• I can't even pick specific lines because everything is such a vibe

• You feel the history and complication and the years apart where everything has changed for both of them and the way that she's the one person who knew him as just Arthur

• "I know exactly who you are"

• Like of course this one was gonna have a line reading that lends itself to multiple things but that's always good and I like it

• Genny ranting to Lance about the number of letters Arthur wrote to Morgan

• She finally gets to be pissed and Phillipa Soo plays it so well

• "Don't review my arithmetic in your head, it's 208"

• Even at her most angry, she still must make sure Lance knows she's right, very relatable

• "I questioned the king, we've all questioned the king"

• This adaptation has built in the knights discontent so well that it's believable that they've just been growing more resentful over time

• "Because one cannot legislate goodness Pellinore, which at the end of the day, is the mission of the round table"/"And what say you Sagramore?"/"Well tell me, when we're all equal will peasants live like knights or will knights live like peasants?"

• Their entire speech is amazing

• The knights growing angrier as they realize they're all on the same page

• The way that it all fits seamlessly into the story we see on the stage but there's also no denying it's about the time we're living in right now

• But again, not in a way where it feels out of nowhere or too heavy handed

• "I throw away the letters, I give away the money"

• I love the way she delivers her lines so dismissively

• I wonder how much of it is her feelings and how much of it is trying to hurt Arthur as much as he's hurt her

• "That part gets left out of the legend" I think is the first moment where Arthur gets under Morgan's skin just a bit

• Like I'm not sure what she wants/wanted from Arthur but maybe it was just that she doesn't like being erased from the story

• "What wife could possibly object?"

• I love her bitterness mounting leading up to this line and actually hearing her call herself Arthur's wife which is I don't think is something she does before

• "I admire the king's commitment to doing the right thing no matter what. That's what a man does, and god knows it should be what a king does."

• I love watching Genny justify her anger because on one level she knows it isn't fair to be angry

• That she really does admire Arthur's goodness and believes he's doing the right thing

• That it's not that he's going to see Morgan, that he wants to bring her to the castle, it's about his actions with Genny

• Or I suppose the lack of consideration of her feelings in maybe the most hurtful way where there was nothing deliberate, it just didn't even occur to him

• She's so hurt

• Everyone in this scene gets to be extremely mad and I love it

• "When he ran out of here, he didn't think it would trouble me at all. He didn't think the letters would mean anything to me. Or staying overnight. Mordred said his mother was his first true love. Business partner. He said it right in front of me as if I wouldn't mind"/"Do you?"/"No, of course not. It's just that it was the first time that it's been demonstrated to me that-"/"Your husband doesn't think of you as his wife"/"Yes"

• Everything is on her face and in her voice

• She's so hurt, so angry, so tired of not being loved

• And when she says of course it doesn't bother her, when she pulls back her feelings in front of Lance

• And her delivery of yes like something clicks in her brain, probably their entire relationship is flashing in her brain and she's building up evidence that it's true

• Lance has articulated exactly what she didn't know she was feeling

• And the music under it underscores each emotion perfectly

• Again Phillipa Soo is just emotionally devastating in this scene

• But also gotta go back to "Your husband doesn't think of you as his wife"

• Like right now I'm just thinking back to Arthur referring to Genny as French to Lance when they first meet and again when he asks her to tell Lance he's being invested

• While Genny in that scene and in the first scene of act 2 keeps referring to her country as England while Lance claims her as French like him

• I wonder if that distinction is one of the things that feeds into her (and Lance?) feeling like Arthur doesn't think of her as his wife

• That she's trying to keep proclaiming her loyalty and he keeps putting a border between them

• At least in her point of view

• While he's as always trying to show her that he sees and respects her as an autonomous individual and not a thing he owns

• Am I reading too far into this? Probably

• (You're not my homeland anymore, so what am I defending now - honestly that it took me this long to make a Taylor Swift reference is a marvel)

• Anyway back to this tremendous scene

• Part of me does wonder if Lance really doesn't know how Arthur feels or if he's in denial because it's easier for him if Arthur doesn't think of Genny as his wife

• Like he does make a point to tell Arthur in the last scene that he and Genny aren't together

• He's gotta realize in this scene how Genny feels about Arthur but curious about the other way around

• Or ya know, maybe he doesn't, maybe he's just as emotionally inept as everyone else in this show

• Don't really have a point, it's just an interesting thought

• How do so many versions cut Fie on Goodness?

• Like not only is it an amazing song but also it's sort of the whole damn point

• If you cut it, the ideals of Camelot are barely even a plot, it's all love triangle

• Also just want to take a moment to appreciate how gross the lyrics to this one are

• This is for sure my favorite sequence

• The intro speech to the song is perfect

• Them just getting worked up about how England is special, it is better, that they're the ones who should be listened to

• "Don't dare question our loyalty to the king"/"A king who encourages debate"

• Again I just love the knights' conflicted feelings about Arthur

• So it's easiest to shift all the blame to Genny and Lance

• This song is so good, this cast is so good

• "That day that I became king, my cousin gave me his tutor, a man named Merlyn. And Merlyn spoke to me of a great cause that I could lead. But I would have to stay unmarried until a young princess in France came of age"/"And you left me unmarriable, a woman with a child"/"I didn't know about the child until he came and introduced himself"/"You raise your voice to me? Have I displeased you your majesty?"/"Stop calling me that"/"I know all about the French princess-"/"The queen"/"and the grand cause-"/"great cause"/"I don't give a damn"

• This is a stupid amount of text that I've typed out but I love their back and forth here

• Arthur trying to justify himself and not wanting to take responsibility and them both getting angry at each other

• Morgan and her relationship with Arthur have been changed pretty drastically to the point that she's not even the same character and I like it and her so much

• I do wonder what the intent was here because I feel like you could read a lot of different things into their dynamic

• And to what that means about Arthur

• I mean I get the sense that she's maybe always been maybe a bit of an outsider, maybe always was a little more world-weary (or maybe not, maybe getting left pregnant while he became king hardened her)

• And maybe their power dynamic has been completely flipped but also maybe Arthur still has a hard time not letting it flip back

• Because like there's no doubt for me that for whatever reason, she was the one holding the cards originally and he doesn't know how to deal with her now

• Like I don't know if she's older or Arthur was always bad at love so she would have just been the more confident person but there's something there

• She obviously has a completely different point of view than anyone else in the show which I love

• And she gets under Arthur's skin so easily

• I guess because she's the one casuality of his great cause, the one wrong he can't right

• Also "stop calling me that" is so petulant teen

• And he was that when he knew her so of course it comes out

• "You seem quick to betray the king"/"I would die before I betrayed King Arthur"/"Yet here you are"/"I can't rise above being a man, a human man. I can't transcend it no matter how hard I try"

• My favorite Lance line

• Ugh it's perfect

• He's so tortured and so good at conveying that in his delivery

• He's getting some character growth

• Genny being both not wrong but also putting it on him so she doesn't have to think about her own behavior

• "My duty is to god, King Arthur, and the round table. I can best serve all three with my absence. It's a small price for one person to pay for a greater good"

• Ooh the self-loathing hits so good

• And Genny panicking because she's about to get left for the second time tonight

• The playing of If Ever I Would Leave You

• Because he is, or he's at least trying to

• To do the right thing

• Genny and Lance speaking French together, always good even thought I can't understand shit

• "No more talking"

• And the bed just being pulled out of the scene

• I just love how the song is interspersed with these scenes, this sequence is truly brilliant and the energy of it in the theater is truly unmatched

• "All the letters that followed-"/"All the letters that followed offered me room and board along with the cash. Imagine how moved I was by the chivalry"

• Ah mocking chivalry, a family pastime

• Again, I just love the way she goes in on Arthur's attempts to do the right thing over and over

• And again I don't know if it's because he wouldn't give her what she actually wanted or pure vengence

• "Guilty and alive once more" is probably my favorite line from the song

• "Let me ask you this question and I'm entitled to the truth. If there hadn't been a cause, a great case, would you have married me? No."/"I was fifteen years old that night and the next day I was king. I was anointed by the archbishop of Canterbury in York and those men think they put me in direct contact with the divine. There was a cause."

• Clearly in her mind he was never going to marry her but we know from Pelli that when he met Arthur when he was already king, he was still very much in love with Morgan

• More than 10 years (plus then a year that's passed in story) before this could be lots of different amounts of time but it could have been up to a few years into Arthur being king which is a long while

• So the answer was probably yes

• But he doesn't say any of that because his feelings don't matter, he's too focused on justifying his cause, that it was important enough to make up for her life

• And ya know Camelot is what's important now, Camelot is what he and Genny have devoted their lives to, he can't fail

• This is the scene where I just conspiracy board Genny and Arthur's relationship

• This is fine, I'm normal about this show, that's why I wrote all of this

• Either way I think it must really bother Athur that Morgan might think he's not a good man

• We saw it with Genny and the courtesans thing too

• Like obviously part of that was being in love with her but also I think it fucks with his self-image as a person who does the right thing which is his entire life

• And Morgan's the biggest crack in that in his mind which is why he gets angry pretty much constantly in this scene

• At least that's my theory

• I love that we get see him cracking a bit under the strain of being good and trying to rise above being a human being just like everyone else in this scene

• He's got a lot more moral fortitude than the rest of the characters so it just manifests as him getting to be angry and express it to another person for once but still

• He makes excuses, he gets mad, he won't accept that Morgan's version of events is also true and he can't force her to be okay with it

• I don't know, there's something nice about narrative not saying that making the choices of the knights or Genny and Lance is inevitable, Arthur does make the right choices but he still isn't perfect here

• "And I won't live in a spare room in a castle and be the used and discarded former mistress of a king... but I will be the mother of one"

• So like how much of Mordred's plans are Mordred and how much is Morgan?

• And you know used and discarded former mistress of a king is killing Arthur

• "And he didn't"/"What?"/"Put you in direct contact with the divine"/"That is made clear to me every day"

• Morgan did a good job of pretending indifference at the beginning but the more she lays into Arthur, the more hostile things get between them, it's so clear that if the opposite of love is indifference then they haven't managed to get over loving each other

• It's just soured and rotted but won't die

• More so for Morgan because she paid the price, she couldn't move on in the way he could

• "And I wouldn't want to see your face when you realize it didn't make a difference. There'll be greed and injustice and hate and horror. You can change the stuff but people stay exactly the same. No one whose opponent was human nature has ever won a fight. Human nature responds to-"/"Inspiration"/"Fear. And that's it"

• It's so cruel but also a great illustration of the ways that they're fundamental opposites

• "I don't forget anything"

• Another extremely loaded line delivery

• (Don't make an All Too Well reference, don't make an All Too Well reference, don't)

• The panic and realization of "he's not stupid" and the music that builds to it and Morgan's laugh ugh perfect

• The intro music to I Loved You Once in Silence is gorgeous

• Lance and Genny in white feeling guilty as hell is a good visual

• So much regret

• Just instantly

• I feel like the moment they've actually acted on their feelings, they know that it's not only a mistake but also that their feelings aren't actually what they thought

• Well maybe Lance doesn't quite have it yet in this scene but he gets there

• Not to repeat what I said about the first scene in act 2 but

• My take is that they intentionally deepened Arthur and Genny's relationship and Lance's character but not Lance and Genny's relationship

• They intentionally left it shallow

• That these are two people who are missing something and the easiest way for them to get that is to frame what they have as love

• I mean for Genny it's sort of obvious, she's married to a man she's in love with but that she thinks doesn't love her

• Lance makes her feel certain about his feelings for her and that's validating

• But Lance, I feel like I have thoughts but I'm not sure

• Lance has never been forced to reckon with temptation before

• And instead of facing that in himself

• He just makes Genny part of the list of things that define him

• A goddess on earth and a god above

• Along with the table

• And he can worship them all to avoid having to figure out who he actually is

• It's not him admitting he has a human weakness, it's a grand tragic love story that he can suffer for

• And suffering, well that's what lets him cope with whatever about himself he feels is so terrible that he needs to punish himself for it

• He's so terrified to look inward, so afraid of something in himself that he just finds his identity in other people and institutions

• And he can't hide behind that anymore because he's betrayed it all, every single thing

• I feel like this makes it sound like I don't like Lance and I very much do

• He's just particularly flawed because he's the only one who doesn't start the show knowing that about himself

• They all make choices out of self-loathing and fear of unworthiness but I do think Lance thinks consciously he's above that for most of the show even if subconsciously he knows he isn't

• He's the only one of the main three to not really finish his character journey within the confines of this narrative

• Arguably he only starts right now and finally realizes he's not the man he thought he was

• Again fic potential somone???

• Well that was a tangent

• Jordan Donica's performance of I Loved You Once in Silence is so heartbreaking

• "Lance I made a mistake. I'm sorry but you're a good man and I should have been nicer to you."

• I love that, I love that she takes her responsibility (even if she's already trying to cover up what happened)

• But also it's just the clearst indication that acting on her feelings killed them

• She doesn't need to push Lance away anymore to stop herself from doing anything

• I love that Lance tries to surrender peacefully

• He's willing to take responsibility not for his noble suffering anymore but because he is a good man and he knows he's done what he's been accused of

• And he only attacks because he has to

• Mordred's evil laugh

• Lance being slightly disheveled and grabbing Mordred's sword to fight off the guards and escape

• I don't have any kind of intellectual take, this is just a personal problem for me

• My jaw was on the floor when Lance started yelling back about coming for her if he survives

• Such a tense ramp up into Guenevere

Act 2, Scene 4: The trial/The Battle

• Guenevere has such amazing lyrics

• The entire "more than love met its doom"/"came the sundown of a dream" verse destroys me

• And I love every word of added dialouge, so correct to put it on the cast recording

• I feel I must explain my love for the staging of this song some more because it is so simple and I understand that some people are not into it but I so much am

• I love the way they close off the back of the stage for I think the only time in the whole show and it becomes claustrophobic all of the sudden

• Now Arthur is stuck in this little box in front of the audience while everything falls apart for him and that's what you have to look at so there's no getting away from how devastating it is

• We just get some full force Andrew Burnap acting and I love it, I think by now it should be clear that I would

• In other versions that I've seen, there's a lot more happening and we see Genny

• And we see Arthur see her tied to the stake and Lancelot show up to rescue her

• Which I do like in theory

• But we don't really see Genny have any actual role or even seeming to have any particular feelings about what she's done or what's about to happen

• Like she's about to die and I've yet to see a version where I have any idea if she's got a single emotion about that

• Despite the name of the song, I think this show decided this scene isn't about Genny, it's about Arthur

• It's about the consequences of his laws

• It's about the beginning of his new war

• Arthur screaming "Pelli I know" like we see him start to crack

• Oh to know who told Arthur and how he took it

• "Well do something"/"She's under arrest. She's been accused of treason"/"Arthur I understand that you're angry but"/"She's been accused of breaking the law. She has to be judged"

• The delivery of that last line, ugh

• He keeps it impersonal, it isn't about what she did to him or his pain, it's about the law

• The law they lovingly crafted together

• "What a magnificent dilemma: let her die and you're a monster, let her live and you're a fraud. Which will it be? Do you kill the queen or the law?"

• Fuck

• The delivery is so good

• Mordred is having the time of his life shrieking about Arthur's pain

• The killing the queen or the law bit seems to be mostly unchanged and it's maybe the best single line from the original book

• Although it went from kill the queen and your life is over to you're a monster

• Mordred has to know Arthur is in love with Genny, right?

• Maybe he just can't imagine Arthur could love a person more than he loves his ideals which I guess would make sense given Morgan and Arthur's relationship

• Arthur drawing his sword on Mordred!!!

• "Ooh careful your majesty, you wouldn't want to be barbaric"

• The fact that Mordred thinks that's going to work, that he can continue to poke at Arthur and he won't respond, he really does believe in Arthur's goodness doesn't he?

• "You are exiled from this court. Return and I will show you what barbaric looks like"

• Arthur screaming at Mordred with his hand around his throat is so intense

• It's so good

• Another gasp out loud in the theater moment

• Arthur is fully unraveling and I'm obsessed

• "I know my way out"

• It's such a teenage delivery and like Mordred is just a kid who feels abandoned by his father

• And as much as this is a tragedy for the three main characters, it's no less a tragedy for Mordred

• Aging down Mordred, also a great choice

• And again, just another stellar performance

• Every single person in this cast just knocked it out of the park in a way I never could have anticipated

• "Arthur please, I'm an old man and I know I'm ridiculous but for the love of god, it's Genny. She made a mistake, she knows that."

• I love that Pelli loves her too

• That he isn't judging her

• "She broke the law Pellinore. A law signed by the king. So say the people"

• He starts trying to be calm but then the fact that it's his law brings up the anger and then he breaks on so say the people

• He's written his own destruction

• And empowered others to take the decision out of his hands

• I love the dialouge in this scene so damn much

• "Neither you nor I nor god himself can stop this terrible thing that's been put in motion"/"What are you waiting for?"/"I'm waiting for what's inevitably coming next"

• The delivery of coming next...

• Like obviously he wants Lance to save Genny but he knows that no matter what

• No matter if she lives or dies, peace is over and the round table has been destroyed

• And he needs to prepare

• Also the way he frames what's happening

• It's not what Genny and Lance or even Mordred caused

• It's just what's been set into motion by all these tiny and giant choices throughout the show that have bubbled over into the death of Camelot

• "That's Lancelot du Lac out there and he's brought a battalion. Double the guard, triple the guard, those guards are going to die tonight"

• How many times can I just copy a bunch of text and write the delivery

• Because yup

• The lack of hope from Arthur is chilling

• Arthur getting dragged back into the war he worked so hard to end

• Just every line delivery in this scene is perfect

• Every lyric of the song

• Every acting choice

• And I love to see it visually

• Preparing for war isn't an exciting spectacle, it's tragic

Act 2, Scene 5: Outside Joyous Gard - on the eve of war

• The way they fade in on the eve of war just broke my heart every time

• I would love to know how much communication there was between Arthur and Lance and how

• Like how much of a role did Arthur play in the whole Genny not getting burned business?

• And the fact that his first question is whether they've been injured

• Even after everything, he's a good man who cares

• And Genny and Lance too, being willing to come back and die

• They're all good people who made mistakes but still good people

• "I assure you, if I thought it would end all this, I would light the fire myself"

• Absolutely brutal but like after he lays out all the death and rebellion that have already happened I guess brutal is fair

• Ya know, if I thought he meant it even a little

• "Lance, come morning some of your countrymen are going to be at the end of my sword. It's not personal, it's just my job. Stay safe Lance."/"I can't do that. And neither can you. Godspeed your majesty."

• I just love the idea of Lance and Arthur as these two people who love each other spearheading this war neither of them believe in

• It's so tragic

• Their goodbye is so understated which for Lance is like truly a great bit of contrast

• They've had enough big declarations, these few sentences just distill everything perfectly

• And then we come to Genny and Arthur, fuck fuck fuck

• The first time I saw this I spent like all of intermission and act 2 with a loop in my brain of but they love each other, right?

• I am unrepentant trash for them in this version as though that wasn't abundantly clear

• And Aaron Sorkin delivered for me so hard in this scene

• "Please let me die, Arthur"

• The pause before his name

• And now we get to the part where I start to get like teary-eyed in the theater

• "Two very powerful men did this to you... not Mordred and Lance, your father and me"

• That long pause before and me

• I love his whole speech, I almost typed it all out

• And they allow so much silence during it

• And the way he's like trying to hold it together but he can't by the end

• "You were treated like a queen but you were my hostage Genny, what the hell did we think was going to happen?"

• That he recognizes and actually admits the ways that his choices have harmed Genny, the unfairness in the entire situation he's put her through

• That he can see even through his own hurt and the enormity of what has been set into motion, his own responsibility for what's happened

• Like he's not right but he's also not wrong

• "And for it's worth, I've been in love with you this whole time"

• Not even looking at her so we have to see it instead ugh

• And then watch that long silence while Genny just like rearranges her entire view of their relationship

• "For what it's worth? Did you just say for what it's worth?"/"Well I thought maybe you'd like to know that. But I wasn't sure."

• Just smashing my heart into tiny little pieces

• After everything they've been to each other, after all they built together, he still doesn't even know if his feelings will matter to her

• While Genny is getting ready to lose her mind after for what it's worth

• They're so absolutely emotionally inept

• "You weren't sure? Why didn't you ever tell me before?"/"It doesn't matter"/"Why?"/"How could I? I'm the king of England. You'd have been forced to pretend you felt the same way"

• Again they are delivering lines in a way that is continuing to smash the little pieces of my heart into complete dust

• Like Arthur is again not wrong but not right

• His life is so lonely because of this crown he didn't want and his desire to actually be responsible with that power

• And even now he tries to get out of explaining that to her

• I love him so much is the problem

• And then her mmm like all the pieces are coming together in her brain that they've both been suffering for nothing and she is pissed

• I love her so much which is also the problem

• Incidentally, both of these things are also their problem so very relatable

• "Out of curiousity, if I had told you, what would you have said?"/"That I loved you from the moment I saw you, from the moment you spoke, from the moment you sang me that stupid song about the weather"/"It's not about the weather it's a metaphor"/"I know it's a metaphor"

• The way Genny overlaps him asking, she can't even wait for him to finish

• The way she says stupid song

• The way that she's like, I did fall in love with you over that song but also I still hate it and think it's dumb

• She says it with such contempt

• Icon

• Even standing before the wreckage of their lives, they still can't stop bickering about the song, I'm obsessed

• "I prayed every night that one day you would see me the way I saw you. And then you told me I was your business partner. Yes I was and I am in love with you"/"Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse"

• She prayed every night???

• For two years???

• That he would return her feelings???

• Fuck

• Like I don't know if I can convey how much them being in love with each other and thinking it's unrequited for two whole years ping pongs around my brain and just lights up all the synapses

• "Do you really think 10,000 people loosened that sword for me?"/"I do"/"So do I. That's a nice thought isn't it?"

• It is a nice thought

• I love the philosophy of this show, I love that there's no convoluted Arthur is actually the son of the last king so he was destined to be special

• These are just two people who though birth or circumstance ended up in this position of power and chose to do good with it

• Genny begging for just a little more time like the only reason I kept anything together was being in a theater but if feel confident that if I ever get my hands on footage of this show, I would have already been sobbing by this point

• "They won't let me let Lance save you twice so you have to go Princess Guenevere"

• Hearing him call her by her name is so deeply distressing

• Literally not once before in the show does it happen and it hurts

• And then they're playing Before I Gaze at You Again what an amazing choice

• Turning a love song she sang about Lance into this romantic moment for her and Arthur because theirs was the love story the whole time like brilliant

• That they chose the show's first love song and brought it back for Genny and Arthur being unable to leave each other without that hug and that kiss

• Like this song that is originally about the pain of unfulfilled love for the wrong person and then flipping it to the pain of fulfilled love with the right one

• I am so not okay

• Also people did very loudly applaud at closing when they kissed and I was so glad because truly in my head I was doing it every time

• "I love you"/"I love you too"/"God save the king"

• I mean these are some good last words to say to each other, I'll give them that

• The thing about the original version of the musical is that the ending was already a perfect concept

• Here it just feels more meaningful because they lay that groundwork about inspiring the next generation throughout

• Tom trying to con Arthur about his age is very funny

• This kid is so good and adorable

• "You're speaking to a king"/"I'm twelve years old"

• Like his comedic delivery, very impressive

• "And when did you decide upon this nonexistent career?"

• We get a solid 60 seconds of cynical Arthur and that's about it

• The entire concept of this kid being inspired by the stories of Camelot is just deeply moving and beautiful

• And just the entirety of Andrew Burnap's performance of that realization hitting Arthur

• I love a story that's about the power of stories

• People also applauded at the last show when Arthur says the stories were all true which I also just deeply love

• Arthur's I know exactly how you feel when Tom says he's not ready to be a knight and putting his arm around him, so cute

• "And you will return to your home alive"

• The way he says alive

• Like I think Arthur knows that he's not making it out of this

• Even if he would manage to survive the battle and Mordred, he knows his time is done

• But the the future is still there

• And there is about to be so much death

• Some of it from his sword or his orders

• And the rest of it of his men

• But at least this kid, he's going to live

• The reprise of Camelot... I just love it so much

• "I've won my battle, here's my victory"

• Not a new line but just such a gorgeous one

• The entire idea of the story of Camelot as a tragedy but a hopeful one just gets me

• It's such a beautiful conclusion that this version sets up so so well

• I love that we end on a speech again, just like act 1

• Also that last bit of music as they walk off, stunning

• I have attempted to track down as many older productions of this show as I can including the movie which was good but I am biased and I do sort of think Sorkin and Bartlett Sher and the actors and everyone else involved had the more interesting take on the themes and characters

• A Broadway musical is best when it has simple but impactful themes and big emotions

• And that's exactly what this version gave us

• The highest compliment I can give this show is that not only have I not stopped thinking about it, not only did I tell everyone I know to see it, not only did I want to see the show again (and again and...), but it also just made me feel inspired to see more theater in a way I haven't in a serious while

• I just love this show so much and I'm so glad there are some people here who can't get over it either

• This is what I have to offer, the longest possible unhinged rant and bad quality closing audio, that is all

#it is bad that i wrote all of this #but it's worse that I had to learn I vomited out more words than tumblr even allows #this is what Camelot has done to me #this and made me see just so much more theater than I have ever #still riding the high of watching this cast live apparently #This Barbie can't shut up about Camelot #maybe three is enough unhinged long rants about this show #I wouldn't put money on it but we can all hope #I think the only thing that can sate my soul is a proshot #or sate my soul like 50% with a bootleg #and 50% by casting everyone in this show in good new stuff #preferably produced by my friend's boss so I can maybe get a free ticket #I'm waiting for the most crucial moment to be that annoying friend who asks for a perk #Camelot Musical #the freedom I feel having this note off my phone though

[frogs-with-tea]

I think the One Piece Sound idea is Galaxy-brained. It has so much potential! The setting can be so rich, both in scenery and emotion: they’re all seeing the water and the sky and the forest all the time, but they all grew up there and they’re kinda stuck there so they don’t notice the beauty unless something brings their attention to it. And the potential for the characters! The main crew are 20-somethings living in a tourist trap - the older adults are going to consider their minimum-wage dead-end jobs (or lack thereof, looking at Luffy, king of the bums as far as they’re concerned) to be a sign of their laziness or whatever.

I’d like to think that Nami runs scams on the boardwalk to fleece tourists as legally as possible. She supports Luffy’s search for the One Piece bc she wants to be rich and famous.

I’d like to think Luffy is the goofy guy selling t-shirts out of Usopp’s van with absolutely incredible good luck (no matter what happens, he always bounces back). He’s always at every single one of Zoro’s kendo tournaments: he was the only person cheering Zoro on at Zoro’s first competition, where he foolishly challenged the current champion and got his ass beat to hell. Zoro calls him captain as an inside joke between them; they were friends first out of the group and they are each others ride-or-die. Everybody thinks Luffy is just a childlike dumbass until Luffy sets out to challenge and take down cruelty and greed in the town.

Since he was young, Sanji wanted to go to culinary school but he’s afraid to leave the town: ‘Zeff needs me, the restaurant needs me’. (‘If I leave, the Vinsmokes will find me’) After Zoro gets pregnant, Zeff is on Sanji’s ass constantly about mating/marrying the Cactus. Zeff’s views are a little old fashioned but his heart is in the right place. Sanji has the self-esteem of a flea so he’s really conflicted about it. When he finds out that people are looking down on Zoro bc he got knocked up by ‘just a line cook’ he goes nuclear (I’m thinking about a parallel between this mis-characterization of him and his bounty posters in canon being caricatures of him)

Usopp runs a “Ghost Tour!” that is 200% bullshit and he changes up the locations and stories every couple months. It is the highest-rated attraction on Trip Advisor for the town.

Robin works at the library and she’s got an extremely morbid sense of humor, which terrifies Luffy/Usopp/Chopper BUT she’s doing a lot of the reading research on the treasure and she helps in the search a lot.

Anyway, all of this is to say I think you’ve got a really winning concept on your hands and I wish you all the luck and energy to see it through!

Hey there!! It makes me really excited to hear that you're so passionate about my AU ideas!! I've actually laid out a lot of my ideas on my personal blog @spock-smokes-weed, all under the tag #one piece sound au.

My ideas for Nami and Usopp is that they would be the ones experiencing the most "my life is in a rut" type feelings since they don't have much outside of work and the straw hats. Nami works at a bait shop with her sister, cus I thought it would be fun to position Nami in the old-school economy of the town, fishing. I thought it would be a fun setting for Nami cus she's both a getting dirty with her hands kind of person and a girly girl. With Usopp, in my mind, he's that one friend who's always bouncing from job to job. If this AU is about early 20s eunni, then we all have a friend that can't seem to find a job that makes them happy or they can tolerate. Usopp is an artist at heart and a big personality, I think he'd find it hard to get fulfillment bussing tables or washing cars.

Luffy is pretty straightforward. Living in his van with his dog (Chopper), being a menace to society.

And honestly, I don't see Zeff being the traditional type at all or would give Sanji any grief about marrying Zoro. Since he exclusively hires ex-cons to work on his staff, and already has a non-traditional family with Sanji, I can't see him thinking marriage would solve any issues between Sanji and Zoro. Zeff is a big feature in the story and Sanji's biggest pillar of support, but his advice mainly comes down to "just do the right thing and take responsibility." He just wants Sanji to step up as a father and not run out like Judge did to him. Sanji doesn't react to Zoro being pregnant well (at first. he's terrified of being a father, and that causes him to lash out) and Zeff very much gives him some tough love about stepping up and taking responsibility for his actions.

And for a note about the Vinsmokes, with this AU I'm not looking for a pure 1:1 with canon. So they might be evil royalty in canon, but since I'm taking inspiration from slice-of-life, I'd rather refit them to fit tropes from that genre. I have two posts on Judge specifically and my ideas for his roll in the story, but the TL;DR is that he's a narcissistic deadbeat who only resurfaces in Sanji's life to take advantage of him and ask for money.

As for the other straw hats, I have a post here about where I think they'd fit into the town.

Also, I have a post about Zoro's focus of the story, mainly being his battle with his strength and masculinity and his struggle with the judgment he gets from the town around him.

This was all super long but I just get so excited when ppl say they like my au and all I want to do is share all the ideas I have cataloged (both on here and in my brain)

#ask box #non art #one piece #one piece sound au #sorry it took me a min to get to this ' #you can only do embedded links on desk top and i was at work all day