#its hard to see bc i blurred every damn thing but on one of the papers on the fence i wrote 'hi franz you are my bestie' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

clonehub · 1 year

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Episode 3 of the bad batch!

"we're fine" girl the gonk droid is on its side

I wonder what these rations taste like

Okay so echo can eat solids. And also everyone is yelling at him to fix everything on the ship. They are flying through hyperspace on a ship that doesn't work properly and I'm SORRY but techs priorities are BACKWARDS

THEY DONT EVEN FIT IN THE SEATS AAAHHHHHH

The way they're acting I'm thinking theybe never crash landed before which is actually really funny bc Anakin only knew how to crash. Like it was a regular occurrence in tcw for bitches to be crashing all over the place

Okay first mention of crosshair.

"Crosshairs actions may have been influenced by his inhibitor chip" "it can do that?" Was it. Like wasnt this established. Like one or two episodes ago? I'm genuinely confused this could be my own standing knowledge of the chips getting in the way but why's echo surprised the chip is influencing Crosshairs actions

I will say. There's times where the lighting and the model rendering blends in such a way so that u can't really differentiate the features on omegas face if that makes sense. Like it blends too much

I do like how much they do the blur/focus thing I've always liked that

Rampart being like the only person in this entire series with decently brown eyes :/

Oh look. Once again referred to as enhanced (crosshair). And it's like the more that I think about it. It would not make sense for the Kaminoans to work so hard to keep tbb alive if they believed they were really defective. They're very much like "here's our enhanced product here's our enhanced soldiers see how enhanced they are" like tbb are advertising so they wouldn't say "yeah they're defective BUT--"

So crosshair just walking about in his jammies

Tarkins face model is p good

Something about the models for this first batch of conscripts is like. Like they were built the way they were bc the animators knew they wouldn't be on screen long.

This is kinda funny tho bc they definitely made some heads and just stuck them on a clone models body HFKSBFKSNDKSJS not that I'm mad I like they didn't do boob armor but fhakdnaksk

Tech is so like. Not arugmentative but he has to reply to everything and it's normally in a dismissive or disagreeing way and normally I wouldn't care at all but sometimes it's like was this line necessary.

"you wanna narrow that down" bitch can you go outside and look damn making all this noise from the back seat

I wonder why if Wrecker is having all this obvious hesd pain nobody is actually like checking on him?

A nice blend of music here

It's so funny like how much ppl just fucking hate being scanned because like for me if every doctors visit could just be a scan I'd be so gung ho for it. Yeah let me just lay here for three seconds and hardly get a needle or anything tf

Willing enlistment as metric for a good soldier is interesting and I feel like purposely manipulative bc the guy in the scene before this just said he's got like food and housing so that's partly why he's staying. It's not a loyalty thing at all lmao

What's funny is that I think tbbs helmets for all their little specialities don't actually contribute to air tight contained suits the way the normie clones do. Bc if this was Rex and co they could probably just keep their buckets on w a lil attachment. So they get the headlamps and the HUD. But hunter can't have that so he has to remove the entire thing and put on this mask.

"we each have enhanced skills"

See I wish they could have maintained this tension around crosshair better through the season

Not this white boy poking crosshair in his insecurities BDMABDLSNSLAK no wonder he was so gung ho to kill him and also why he wanted to stick w the imps so bad. Again again again it's ego

They use English letters a lot here not that it's a bad thing or anything but like I remember how in tcw during some like behind the scenes things they basically implied they tried to avoid doing that. They sometimes would say the aurebesh letters and sometimes it'd be A and B

Oh he didn't tattoo his eyelid. Not that it like has to be but like. I just noticed

Sorry these choking noises are so throaty

Bro just unconscious here fjandnaknsa

Wilhelm scream :/

Yeah wow the uh. White boy was the only one with moral back bone huh. The only one who said extrajudicial execution of civilians was bad. Just him huh. Hm.

This is an interesting creature

Oh she gotta be standing on something to be this tall

DNA degradation still doesn't make sense to me given what should be the kammies gene prowess but whatevs

It's like. They're hung up on Jango DNA but if hsi stuff is swirling the drain and you don't have boba would the next thing not be to just find a new guy? Also how does any of that make this any less cost prohibitive

"such a contingency would require a direct source. The clones required will not return willingly" / "they are kaminoan property and we only need one"

Uh but tbb are enhanced and mutated so therefore not the best candidates for sourcing for Jango DNA? Unless I've got this wrong (I'm thinking I do).

I wonder if this room still stinks

This is a sweet thing wreckers done I will say that. But also is omegas room just a viewport or is there a turret attached to that chair?

"I never had my own room before" who was she sharing a room with?????

#ch posts #tbb rewatch

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agust-june · 3 years

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Retired Excuses

I know I said that was my last post but I never keep promises. I want to address many issues with the kpop community. I feel like this is a step for some people to realize the racist, toxic, gaslighting, and just complicit behaviors that go on. My last post was about educating idols, this post is going into the excuses that some of you fans make when it comes to idols when they Cultural Appropriate or do something Racist. I will also combat those excuses telling you why you're COMPLETELY WRONG. I have more discussion topics especially when it comes the anti Blackness in some fandoms. This post isn't to one of three people it to and for everyone that makes these types of excuses. I've even included black stans who excuses Idols.

Also, I'm not an Anti or a Hater. I don't hate kpop and I only hate a VERY FEW idols.

Let's get to it!

EXCUSE

This is the definition of an excuse.

Now that we know what that means that's exactly what some of you fans like to do with your idols. Your idol can do something so fucked up and there will still be fans making excuses and defending them. I mean look at Seungri...he still has a shooter when it's in their face. I'm not gonna talk about him too much bc his stans are too sensitive.

The excuses that we're giving and that these kpop companies are giving are bull shit. At least with SM, they don't even apologize or even say anything because they know and don't care. This brings me to the conclusion that SM as a company is racist and some of the idols there are possibly racist. SM is a company that treats their idols poorly, so why would they care about fans especially black fans when they know next comeback we'll buy it.

"Oh, they didn't know" this excuse is dumb especially when it's a picture of them in the act. For example when the photo of Hendery in that hat and the photo with Sowon. Those were both taken down so quickly. Why? Because they knew what they did was wrong. So if your fans need to stop thinking these grown-ass ADULTS are stupid. Korea is in the top rankings for academics. Though not every idol is from Korea they are still from either Japan or China which are also at the top for academics. Now before y, all get upset I came with my damn resources bc unlike some of yall I can back my shit up. Also, the links are down below.

https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/education-rankings-by-country

https://schoolinreviews.com/pisa-results-published-in-dec-2019-which-countries-score-the-highest-and-why/

Y'all see the magic of Google?? Do you see how simple it is to do research.

This is proof that our idols know what's wrong what's right and wrong so they can know what's racist. If they don't Google is free. Social media is free.

"They're Korean why would they know things happening in America" here is also another excuse. The world is only connected by two things the internet and social media. After this summer during the BLM protests the whole world was watching the U.S and some are still doing it. Even if they aren't focused on the US they can do some research. Also if they can pay attention to the different tik to dances and listen to music from the U.S they can know what goes on here.

"They didn't say the N-word that means ___ in Korean" Now this is a blurred excuse but it's not hard to hear the N-word. Like the Korean word for I is Ne-ga it's pronounced Ney-gah when you break down the word Korean vowels are different from English. N-word pronounced Nig- and the rest of the letters. When you break the words down they sound completely different even when using the vowels. There is no way you can mistake those words. Therefore no excuse.

"I'm black and I don't feel offended" You're a victim? You would rather defend these idols who hurt your people any don't know and care about you? That's sad. And for the white fans that use that as an example...your opinion and 2 cents are not valid. We don't care to hear it from you. What that does is Invalidate black stans who were hurt by this.

"They already apologized. Let it go" Just because an idol apologizes for that doesn't mean shit. That's like saying a murder asking the victim that they murdered for forgiveness. Just because they apologized doesn't mean we have to forgive them.

"It's the company/stylist's fault" Stop only blaming the stylist and company.

“Its appreciation not appropriation” Flush it down the toilet. That sounds like the same excuses Jackson made. If Black stans are offended they're offended. Did your idol ask beforehand to use our culture?, No they just did it because they thought it was trendy and cute. Also, is that what yall have to say when it comes to some idols who nock black people? Because all I hear was crickets. If an idol wants to appreciate black people and black culture they can do three things.

1.) Something nice for Black fans and black fans only

2.) Speak on black issues, tell Something that they learned with black history, and or take the time to learn about our culture instead of STEALING it for their style.

3.) Donate to black lives matter(the bare minimum) (Also Army don't bring up the one Million dollar donation that's gonna be a post soon.)

4.) Do all three(above and beyond expectations)

But the sad part is they don't do it. Because they don't care. If they're actually in love with the culture, how come they barely know anything about it? Please answer this in the comments or reblog or DM me.

“X item isn't even black culture” all I have to say is do your damn research. When it comes to boxing braids you think they are Bo Derek braids... no honey that was a white woman STEALING from black women. Also IDK why but some of yall think idols or white people invented things when in reality they were STOLEN from BLACK PEOPLE. Yall do realize Kpop is from Black culture? The way they dressed back then to their rap. Even Taeyang from Big Bang said he wanted to be black to write better music...that should show you everything right there. They use our culture to fit this aesthetic because of the things worn by artists in the 80s or 90s. I've seen idols in Durags and they don't need it. Durags are used to keep hair in place and it was solely made for black people. Here is an article explaining the history behind it and what it is used for now.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/14/style/durag-solange-met-gala.html

Bonnets to the same thing. I only seen one idol wear a bonnet and that's Jaebeom but that's still debatable. A durag is not a hat or a headdress you put on (KIM JONGIN I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR THAT GOES FOR NCT AS WELL). I would appreciate it if idols started being more considerate especially when it comes to using black culture. So saying it's them Appreciating our culture is a No. You're making us look like the bad guys when all we want is to have something for ourselves. Idk what ya'll don't get Black people had to BUILD their own after slavery. Our invention that people use today that could've been a big industry was STOLEN. Then let's get into music how WHITE people would STEAL MUSIC because they had no original idea. Then when we FINALLY were comfortable not being excepted and having our own little safe space. That was destroyed by white people too. They had to steal everything from black people. That's why we're upset when idols use our culture and half of them don't know the meaning behind it and if they do know they don't care. They just care about the Shiney new trend or aesthetic.

“if that's appropriation then learning Korean is too” here are the definitions of Language and Culture. Because some of you need it.

Korean is a language...Language is universal like music. Music is a language, you are using it to communicate and express your emotions as you do with Language. Culture is completely different. Sure language is in culture but culture isn't a language.

“They weren't trying to be offensive/you're being too sensitive” Who are you? Who are you to tell me how I should feel? Especially if your white you get no opinion and we black stans don't want your two cents. If anything some of ya'll got real sensitive at the Taehyung hates white people joke. Even if he did?...so what? What were ya'll going to do? Nothing. Nothing to him. Don't tell people what and how they should feel that's that. NEXT.

"_____ did it first" Shut up. Are we talking about___? Did we mention them?? No, we didn't. Every time we Nct gets caught with cultural appropriation yall always like to drag other idols trying to deflect from NCT getting their asses dragged. This isn't just with NCT fans it's everyone especially when you bring bts in it. Yall especially love to bring BamBam in it. Oh, don't worry they're getting dragged too but was that supposed to stop us black stans from dragging their ass? All idols can get the same two-piece combo.

"There are two sides to every story" what other side is there?? Because they're both wrong. It's like cheating you would get mad at the other women for sleeping with your S/O right? Why don't yall ever get at the guy? Because it's clear he was the one who cheated regardless there's no excuse. So when it comes to an idol what is the other side? They have a brain they have morals and they have free will to make decisions. So there is no fucking excuse.

That's it that's all I have for today. Like I said I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to keep saying my opinions and thoughts regardless of people hating me or unfollowing me. I think that I've grown a lot and I don't feel scared to voice my opinion here anymore. So my next topics:

Kpop industry and how they hate black people and steal black culture

What BTS donating A Million Dollars means to me

If you're a black stan and there's something you want me to talk about something that I may have missed or something I missed in the post reblog, comment, or DM me.

#black kpop stans #kpop fandom #kpop #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #kpop cultural appropriation #bts army #got7 #nctu #nct dream #nct smut #nct wavy #gidle #red velvet #stray kids #sm entertainment #jyp entertainment #kpop companies

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ickle-ronniekins · 4 years

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duet | see you soon then

DUET MASTERLIST

NOTE FOR ALL READERS: this is an installment of a series. the masterlist for a catch-up is linked above. this particular chapter is to fall between [im]mature and silky smooth. thanks!

desc: things had been a bit rocky when the twins told you they were leaving hogwarts before graduation. you’d been so hellbent and obsessed on spending time with george that you’d sort of neglected fred. emotions are running high, but the three of you fall into a comfortable routine and suddenly you’re bursting at the seams with happiness. but since it’s finally time for them to leave, you have absolutely no luck in trying to suppress your tears. they’re making their dreams come true, so why is it so damn hard to say goodbye right now?

a/n: yo! sorry its been a while. school has been kicking my ass and also I genuinely had no inspiration to write this chapter. it was actually supposed to look a little different which is what I think was evidently holding me back. but leeann’s the best and has been incredibly patient with me as I worked through my writer’s block and we bounced ideas off of one another. i..... am so sorry for this. full masterlist is linked above, loves.

word count: 3.4k

warning(s): just sadness bc boys are leaving :(

Things had been… tense, to say the least. Your arguments with both of your best mates had caused quite a bit of discomfort between you all. And not to mention that the Easter holidays were rapidly approaching, which only seemed to speed up the pounding in your chest.

You’d been making progress, though, coming around to the idea of finishing school without them. What an incredible opportunity this was for them, wasn’t it? While your feelings of dread and sadness were still very much prominent, you couldn’t help but be bursting at the seams with pride, too.

They were damn brilliant individuals and it was about time more people recognized that, right?

It still didn’t lessen the pain in your heart, though. It only seemed to elevate it. But you supposed, you’d only learn to grow from it.

The three of you had fallen into a somewhat comfortable routine. Spending lots of time with one another -- you’d also been very conscious about how much time you spent chasing after George. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself any further than you already had. Plus, you’d sadly forgotten how lovely it was to be with just Fred -- he was your absolute best mate, after all, and while yes, there had been times when the two of you had very angrily bumped heads, it only made your friendship that much stronger. You owed it to him. You owed it to yourself.

And you’d taken to spending more time with the Gryffindors too, when that ghastly toad look-a-like of a woman wasn’t around. What she didn’t know wouldn’t kill her. They were your friends, too, after all -- Ginny, Ron, Harry, Hermione, Neville -- the lot of them. And by the light of the common room fire reflecting in Fred’s eyes, and the very bright grin George had painted onto his face nearly every evening, you were pretty certain they were genuinely happy to have you there.

“What’s this one?”

“Ah -- an extension of our latest and greatest inventions, Y/N,” Fred beamed, examining his own creation as he twirled it in his fingers, “Wildfire Whizbangs.”

“You mean you’ve created something even bigger than those blasted fireworks you’d let loose in the courtyard a few weeks ago?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you’re about to set the bloody Great Hall on fire -- I’ve got exams coming up, you know.”

George laughed and pulled out yet another wildly vibrant colored whizbang from their trunk. “Can’t make any promises.”

You’d been spending so much time in their common room, in fact, that people had just ended up making you an honorary Gryffindor. You did miss yours, though -- the warmth hues of the yellow lining, the cozy armchairs near the fire with books next to it stacked so high they touched the ceiling, the tiny, potted plants on the windowsill. You were placed in Hufflepuff after all, so it was only normal that you’d miss the coziness of your own spot.

You couldn’t help it, though. You found yourself with your friends until the late hours of the evening, and sometimes you’d ever crash in the girls’ dormitory in Gryffindor tower because it was far too late to even attempt to sneak back down to your own common room, and the boys didn’t want you to risk getting into some type of trouble. Who’d have thought? The Kings of Mischief, worried about you getting into trouble. The irony was wonderfully funny.

You’d even found yourself working less and less on your assignments, just to spend time with them. It was, truthfully, the closest the three of you had been since you’d met. Absolutely nothing could squash your happiness.

Until you realized one evening when you were pulling on your silk pyjamas and thinking about how good things had been, that you had exactly one week left with them. One week. Seven days. Most of which would be spent studying for exams.

Some type of knot shot up into your throat and you found that your eyes had begun to water more so than normal. Sometimes, you couldn’t quite believe the effect this was having on you.

And so you swallowed down your feelings and forced yourself to sleep, hoping that the next day, you wouldn’t think about the limited time you had left with them before they fled school, but only about just how much you enjoyed your time with them.

-- -

“Please don’t cry. If you cry, I’ll cry, and I’m a bloody ugly crier.”

You knew that Fred was doing his best to make you laugh. He always had a particular knack for making you burst out into giggles at the most inappropriate of times. But even so, the mischievous glimmer in his eye and the lopsided grin on his face couldn’t make you laugh. Not this time.

You’d sort of distanced yourself this last week. Not purposefully, mind you, but because there was studying to be done. You had exams, didn’t you? And the boys needed to pack all of their belongings for their adventure into adulthood. It sounded so silly when you thought about it. But it also sent a soul-crushing feeling straight through your body.

You hated crying in front of them. Sure, you were a bit dramatic at times, but you tried your absolute hardest not to break down in front of them if you could help it. But this was different, you reckoned. This was them leaving with a permanence that could not be undone. This was goodbye… for now.

“I -- I’m just --” your voice sounded raspy and weak, like someone was gripping your vocal cords and strangling them. You watched through blurred vision as Fred’s lower lip began to wobble, and he bit down on it to keep you from noticing. But you noticed. Of course you did. How could you not? You knitted your brows together to keep the tears from falling, but your emotions were far too high for anything to work. You searched desperately for the words that were filling up your heart, though were proving very difficult to leave your lips. “I’m.. I’m really…”

And Fred, who found himself sometimes turning to mush around you, let his shoulders collapse as tears welled up in his eyes, too. He couldn’t believe they were really doing this -- really leaving. Hogwarts had been their home away from home for so many years, and you, the second sister he didn’t know he needed.

When he spoke, his voice didn’t have the usual cheeky sound to it, that mischievous tone you grew to know and love so much. It was soft, and tired, and pleading with you to please not be angry. You could hear it in the way that he said, “I know,” before pulling you into his chest. He interwove his fingers in your hair and pressed his lips to your forehead before sucking in a breath. You tugged gently on the drawstring hanging from his sweatshirt. It was hard to stay mad at either of them. You forced your eyes shut and bit down hard on your bottom lip, causing you to suck in another breath due to the pain. You felt your heart snap perfectly in half when you heard his voice shake a bit. “I’m really going to miss you, too.”

That was one of the most intimate moments you’d ever shared with Fred, letting each other cry into one another’s shoulders. The vulnerability hanging in the air between you both was so intense, it almost didn’t seem real. But as quickly as this new side of Fred had appeared, it vanished when he pulled away from you and held onto your shoulders to steady you. He sniffled a bit and tried to nonchalantly wipe away a tear from his eye. “But you’re coming to visit, yeah? First thing after graduation?”

“Of course,” you playfully swatted him with the sleeve of your robe. “Have got to make sure you two don’t find yourselves in any mischief, right?”

Fred threw his head back and laughed. “Great thing about our shop is that mischief is more than welcomed, darling.”

You both continued to laugh through tears, until everything became still and silent between you both. You bit down on your bottom lip again and repeated the address back to him very slowly. “Number 93 Diagon Alley.”

“Number 93 Diagon Alley,” he echoed you. His grin was so large, you began to see traces of that thirteen-year-old boy you’d first met all those long years ago. He was so excited, wasn’t he? You felt a pull at your heart. And you were so excited for them. “I love you, kid. Don’t forget to write, and definitely don’t forget to study. Molly Weasley would be so disappointed.”

He pulled you in for another hug before making his way down the corridor. You folded your arms across your chest and raised an eyebrow. “You? The King of avoiding schoolwork at all costs is actually telling me to study?”

“What can I say?” Fred shrugged his shoulders. Your best mate. Your best mate in the entire world, known for his pranks and laughter and everything in between was pointing a finger at you and telling you to get a jump start on your school work, like he’d done a complete one-eighty. “You just bring out this side of me.”

“I love you, you absolute git.”

“I love you more.”

Your breathing intensified as he vanished down the corridor.

“Wow,” you heard a voice from behind you, “can’t believe you somehow got my brother to tell you to study. What has the world come too?”

When you whirled around to come face to face with George, his face was an exact carbon copy of Fred’s -- but his sparkling eyes and lopsided grin made your insides twist in a way that Fred’s didn’t. All you wanted to do was run up to your dorm and cry, thinking about the entirety of your schooling where you could’ve been wrapped up in his arms if he’d just felt the same way. But that wouldn’t help you in any way. You had to be thankful for what you had.

“It definitely won’t be the same with you two gone.”

You couldn’t help it -- the words escaped you before you could register your own thoughts. You could see George’s expression fill with guilt, something that had been happening more often than not, so you offered him a tremendous grin that split your face in half, despite the tears that were falling generously now. You stuck your hand out to pull him into you. “I hope you know how proud I am of you both.”

He breathed a sigh of relief, took your hand in his and walked toward you. He pulled you into a bone crushing embrace, one you’d definitely feel the effects of a few days from now. He cradled your head in his hand the exact same way Fred did, and also placed a kiss onto your hair, but the way your blood bubbled at his touch was so very different from the way you felt with your best friend.

“I just want to thank you.”

“For what?”

“For.. everything.” George’s voice was raspy. He pulled away from you but didn’t let go. He slid his hands across your shoulders and down your arms before intertwining his fingers with yours. He slowly caressed his thumbs over the tops of your hands as he chose his words carefully. “For being my best friend, for believing in this ridiculous idea, for dealing with my antics. For everything, all of it. I reckon Hogwarts would not have been the same had I not met you in Charms.”

“It was my favorite lesson, you know.”

“Mine, too.”

You forced yourself to continue to smile at him through your tears, because you didn’t want you blubbering like an idiot to be the last thing he’d see before leaving the castle. As if this entire exchange hadn’t been dramatic enough, you were really considering telling him how you felt -- right as he left. You could shout out I love you!, couldn’t you? It would be the perfect time, too, because he’d already be off and you could run up to your dormitory without worrying about having to face him or your own intense feelings! The words were right there, on the tip of your tongue --

“Save a pygmy puff for me, yeah?”

But those were the words that spoke instead.

George raised his eyebrows and held up a finger. “Oh! That reminds me. Have got something for you.” You threaded your eyebrows together in confusion as he reached into his pocket. He very gently pulled out a ribbon, the colour a perfect blend of purple and pink, same as the puffs, with sparkles dancing across it as if it were charmed. Which, knowing George, it probably was. He fiddled with it slightly in his hands before looking up to meet your gaze. “You’ve inspired us. Got a whole line of these things in the works. So I want you to do me a favour.”

Your voice was a whisper. You’d nearly forgotten how to formulate coherent sentences. “What?” you asked him.

He then took a very deep breath and reached out to move your hair. He gently placed the ribbon behind your ears and tied it into a small bow on the top of your head. “When you’re feeling poorly about your exams, or about finishing school, or about anything, because I know you will -- put this on. Think of us. And just remember that we’re only a letter away until graduation, alright?”

As he watched more tears well up in your eyes, he considered telling you the truth: that it had been him this whole time, sending you these letters and gifts. It’d been him since the beginning, he’d just been too afraid to tell you. He wet his lips and watched as you brought your fingers to the ribbon and touched it gently. He was going to do it, it was time. Probably a few years too late, but he couldn’t worry about that now. He was leaving in five bloody minutes, and he had to seize his chance, when the vulnerability was thick and the emotions were high and he wasn’t going to chicken out completely --

But just as he found his confidence, Fred softly called his name from round the bend before disappearing again. You threw your arms around the back of George’s neck and stood on the tips of your toes to hug him. There was no mistaking the sound of your wobbly voice in his ears -- you were crying fully now. “I’m going to miss you.”

If his emotions weren’t sky high, he would’ve noticed just how easily the tears came to the front of his eyes at your simple, five word phrase.

“I’m going to miss you, too.”

He wished it could be yesterday, or the day before. Or last month. Or last year. He wanted to be back in Charms in your third year. He wished he could go back in time, any amount of time, just to have more with you, because this couldn’t possibly be the end. It couldn’t be.

Through sniffles and sobs and the cracks in your voice, he swore he heard you say, “I love you.”

Fire shot through his veins, but bloody hell, he didn’t have time to unload all of that. Fred was calling his name again. “I love you, too.”

George pressed his lips to your hairline and stayed there like that for a few more seconds you wished could last a lifetime. You didn’t even bother trying to hide your tears anymore -- they were cascading down your cheeks, and violent sobs were involuntarily escaping from your overused lungs. Every single ounce of your body hurt due to all of the crying you’d been doing the last couple of days. It felt so stupid and so dramatic and so absolutely awful, because the truth was, it was only a couple of months until you saw them again. Until you saw him again. A few months was nothing.

But the idea of being here without them hurt more than you could begin to fathom.

When he pulled away, you noticed how red and blotchy his cheeks were alongside his bloodshot eyes, his messy hair. But you beamed at him again and squeezed his hand and said, “Congratulations,” and watched him as his fingers let go of yours and he walked toward the other end of the corridor.

“Hey,” you called, thinking of something. George spun around quickly and peered longingly at you. You just needed a few more seconds or so. “How’re you two getting out of here, anyway? You know Umbridge has all the entrances sealed. You think it’s going to work, whatever you two’ve got planned?” There was a sliver of selfishness that hoped it didn’t, but you suppressed it. You were overflowing with pride for your best friends.

And then there he was -- that young boy filled with adventure and reckless abandon, looking at you as if only seeing you for the very first time. His grin deepened when he replied, “Don’t worry -- it’s in typical Weasley fashion.” He stopped in his tracks and placed his hands in his pockets, and peered at you with a type of intense sincerity that made every muscle in your body ache all over again. “I’ll see you soon, then?”

Your lip quivered again. “Yeah,” you replied, willing yourself to believe it. You would. “I’ll see you soon, then.”

You shook your head at him and watched as he disappeared around the bend, but not before that signature wink he loved to offer.

About thirty minutes later, after you’d had a good cry and rinsed the runny mascara off of your cheeks and from underneath your eyes, you heard a bit of yelling from inside the castle. You were sitting in the courtyard basking in the glorious spring weather, forcing yourself to focus on what you needed to study, when a group of students began to huddle near the windows.

Confused, you shut your spellbook and wandered over to where they were gathered, wondering what the bloody hell could be going on inside. Weren’t the fifth years supposed to be taking their OWLs?

And then two red headed figures zoomed out of the castle on their broomsticks, followed by a firework dragon the size of the real dragon Harry had fought just last year, with more sparklers and pyrotechnics behind them brightening up the sky. Students flooded into the courtyard and cheers were nearly shaking the whole entire structure of the castle. You looked around at all of the students, beaming with exuberance, and wondered just how many of the Wildfire Whizbangs had gotten caught in Umbridge’s hair, setting it aflame. You smiled to yourself and began to clap, too.

For as blue as you felt, you were ten times happier for them.

George and Fred were now hovering in the air beneath a very large firework in the shape of a ‘W’. Fred was busy cheering along with the crowd, clearly pleased with the feedback from all of the students -- and even some teachers. Was that Flitwick he spotted below? Had he made his Charms teacher proud?

But George wasn’t cheering -- he was focused. Focused on scanning the crowd, focused on bouncing his eyes from student to student until he found the familiar one he was looking for.

“You alright, Georgie?” Fred called over the roar of the dragon, now swimming through the clouds.

“Yeah,” George replied, though he didn’t fully believe it -- not until he saw you, in the middle of a sea of Ravenclaws, peering up at the two of them with nothing but admiration plastered onto your face. George breathed another sigh of relief and didn’t take his eyes off of you. He couldn’t. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

“To new adventures!” Fred cheered and raised his hands in delight. More students began to scream and cheer and wave to them from the grounds. He proceeded to do a backflip on his broomstick in the air.

When your eyes met his from below, he watched as your smile slowly grew a bit larger and your clapping became more exuberant. He could already count down the bloody days until you were finished with school and walking through the front doors of their shop, a grin on your face so large it could cure diseases! But for now, you had to study, and he had a business to run.

He turned toward his brother, who had never looked more excited or proud in all his years. George stuck out his hand for a high-five as he wobbled slightly on his broom. To Fred, George replied, “To new adventures, mate.”

tag list: @georgeweasleyx @seppys-return-to-madness @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @darling-details @laneygthememequeen @lupinsx @keoghans @helloallthethingsilove @waschbiber @dreamer821 @feffffffy @the-hufflepuff-of-221b @62442-am @wtfweasleyy @obsessedwithrandomthings @sleep-i-ness @shadowsinger11 @harrysweasleys @shadychaoticcollection @haphazardhufflepuff @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @hood-and-horan @geeksareunique @insearchofnewdreams @notstandingstill-imlyinginwait @lumos-barnes @thatfuckingliardavidtennant @slytherinqween @xinyourdreamsx @skiving-snackboxess @wildfire-whizbangs @dwarfwizard-from-panem @diary-of-an-onliner @answer-the-sirens @woakiees @black-widow-fangirl @theheirofnightandday @summerstardust @whysoseriouspadfoot @chocok22 @myhopesareanchoredinyou @siriusblackisme @illusivedaydreamer @zeeneee @writingwitchly @wolfpotter12 @obsessedwithrandomthings @carolinesbookworld @shadowsinger11 @pit-and-the-pen @summer-writes-words @peachesandpinks @gweaslvy @alpineweasley @letsfightsomeorcs @theweasleysredhair @purpleskiesstorm @hxfflxpxffs @wand3ringr0s3 @finecole @angelinathebook @highly-acidic @90shermione @zreads @susceptible-but-siriusexual @hollands-weasley @andromedaa-tonks @bbystrawberry0421 @cappsikle @mytreec @imseeinggred @idont-knowrn @flyingserpxnt @auroraboringalis57 @godricsswords @jejegu @annasofiaearlobe @starlightweasley @alwaysasadaesthetic @thisismysketchbook

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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years

Text

(was originally an ask, then i rambled a crapload, so if u wanna skip through, just go to the bolded questions)

i am new to the fandom & just found your blog, just wanted to say DAMN its so detailed and everything, i cant wait to read it all! also i was so relieved to find that the fandom is still alive <3

side note im just rambling here, i binged sherlock all really quick and everything is like a blur (idk if im in a state of shock or something, but i do know i was super invested at s1 ep 2, then i finished s4 at 4am one day and i had to read me some johnlock fics to comfort myself and i really dont know how i feel about anything yet just that well, johnlock and i cried during sherlocks fake death even tho i already accidentally read spoilers, and i also cried when they just went to hang out at bars together and hhh and during sherlocks best man speech and sherlocks goodbye to john (…maybe goodbye should be plural)…also i was v mad at eurus and s4 was a hell of a rollercoaster gd), so just wondering, how many times have you watched sherlock? how was the experience each time? (can be about any season or eps or anything, also any snacks u liked to eat while watching or anything of that sort? just curious and thought that might be fun to answer)(apologies if you answered this already i tried to look for it but i got a bit overwhelmed)

btw u are amazing ^^ (also nice timer even tho it makes me sad) and MAD RESPECT for answering so many asks and like SO DETAILED-LY? (i cant grammar) and god ur metas and stuff?? absolutely fantabulous. im legit crying im so glad i found your blog. i know how much work asks take (and like i procrastinate on them for so long…mm months old esp for fic rec lists bc i know those take WORK) so like again, SO MUCH RESPECT thank you for all your hard work!! you are absolutely fantastic and awesome :D please make sure you take care of yourself too <3

ALSO you have a great profile picture + background pic (forgive me i have half a braincell (actually lets make it .7437 gave myself a tiny upgrade even tho i didnt do anything) i forgot what its called…background thing?? idk) i love them!!

if u read through all that tysm, if not thank u anyways for being so amazing, i have a habit of rambling so pls bear with me ^^

(also would it be possible to make this anon? if not feel free to delete this line ^^)

(Submitted by Anonymous)

--------

Hi Lovely!!

Always can make something Anon if y’all ask <3

First of all, SORRY for how long it took me to get back to you with this one. I’m a giant heap of trash and I’m surprised people still come here LOL

Secondly, WELCOME TO THE FANDOM! We love having y’all here, and I’m honoured that you enjoy my blog and content! Also will comment on your praise on my meta here: THANK YOU. I’m very proud of my meta, and especially the SHEER AMOUNT of it I have produced still boggles me mind. Y’all remember when I was creative and thoughtful??? LOL S4 dragged me hard hahah. I still try to write S4 meta, just not as much as I used to. I like speculating, I truly do, but I have so little free time these days because of the nature of my full time job, so I tend to just... do nothing LOL. I find Fic Reccing really relaxing when you have nearly 800 bookmarks. I’m worried I’m becoming stale though. Oh well. I’m just trying to leave my mark here. <3

Thirdly, HAHHAH Thank you for your compliment about my replies to my asks; I genuinely wish I could get more asks finished every day, but I tend to ramble, as you can see, and I just... don’t finish them in a timely manner. Honestly, it’s a relief when I don’t know something because I can then get the community involved to help me out AND I also get new fic recs that way too LOL. I also draft a TONNE of asks and when I do that, I tend to just keep adding MORE and MORE and MORE so I have to post them, LOL.

And finally: My fave episode is TAB; it was the episode I studied the closest and my analysis of the trailer is my “claim to fame”. I just love it to bits. It’s the episode I’ve watched the most. S3 is my fave season, and it’s the SEASON I’ve watched the most, no less than 30 or 40 times. Season 2, then 1. I have only seen S4 like 5 times in full total, and horribly enough, TFP is the most-watched episode: I watched the Leak, the airdate, and I went and saw it in the theatres because I already bought the ticket before it aired so I just... didn’t care. And then at least 3 more times in Watchalongs. So yeah :| I still haven’t watched the BluRay I bought, but I hated having an incomplete set so I bought it when it went on sale fore 10 bucks LOL.

But yeah, S1 and 2 I watched together, and I LOVED the show. I joined fandom the summer before S3 aired, and S3 is when I REALLY got into the fandom. I’ve been pretty much here since then, about 7 years I think now. When I saw S4, it was incredulity and disappointment with it. That’s really it. I’m still a fence sitter these days about the series as a whole, but I’m leaning more and more to “no S5 for at least 3 more years” kinda thing. Just... everyone involved seems so disinterested in the show these days, minus Mofftiss to keep pushing the Sherlock™ Brand to make money.

ANYWAY. Thanks for writing to me!! This was such a joy to read when I first got it, and I just... have been really overwhelmed the past few weeks that I just have only been sticking to shorter asks. But I had some free time tonight when I’m answering this, so THANK YOU.

I hope you’re still around, and I hope you still enjoy your time here! Don’t hesitate to ask me anything else!! <3 <3

#steph replies #chatting with nonnies #about me #happy posts #testimonials #my blog #Anonymous

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cathwritestragediesnotsins · 4 years

Text

Wanted you

Daryl x Plus size!reader (mentioned briefly)

word count: 4,330

Warnings: injury, cursing, Carl is an adorable lil sheriff man.

GIFS NOT MINE, I just gathered them from the world wide interweb.

Summary: Y/N is injured on a run and Daryl worries about her. Later Daryl gets jealous when he thinks he hears Y/N talking about another guy. (crappy summary bc tbh this story did not go where I thought it was gonna.)

________________________________________________________________

To say I was stuck between a rock and a hard place would definitely be an understatement.

I had ducked into a building-an old diner- just down the street to shield myself from the hailstorm of bullets coming from snipers set up on top of almost every building on main street.

Only to discover that building was very much overrun. I must’ve had about 17 walkers coming at me from all directions. I was worn out and bleeding out of a bullet wound to my left shoulder so it was very clear I wasn’t going to make it out of this one.

That, however, didn’t mean I was going to go down easy.

I pull out my knife and plunge it into the head of the nearest walker which gives me a few precious seconds to reload my gun. Once I’ve put in a new clip I start popping off rounds as fast as I can, taking out as many walkers as possible while making my way toward the counter situated near the back. My shoulder screams in protest to every movement and I’m starting to feel light headed but I press on.

I have to make it back. I have to make it back. I have to make it back. I have to make it back. I have to make it back.

I repeat this mantra over and over again in my head. Its the only thing keeping me conscious right now.

I reach the bar and shove myself over it to put something between the vicious hoards of biters that’re on my tail. There’s 9 left which would normally be a bit more manageable but not with the way my vision is starting to black out around the edges.

I shake my head to refocus and wipe the sweat off my brow before raising my gun again.

The room finally blurs out just as I’m about to pull the trigger.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Damn it” Daryl mutters to himself as he crouches down behind an old barrel situated toward the end of the street.

His ammo is running low, he can’t move without getting hit by the snipers, and he’s lost track of Y/N. He knew he shouldn’t have brought her along on this run.

He glances around frantically and decides to make his way into the closest building and hope it’s clear. He’s a sitting duck otherwise.

The archer takes a moment to hype himself up, inhaling and exhaling deeply, jumping in place a bit before he bolts.

BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM.

The sounds of guns firing goes wild as soon as he steps out from his hiding spot and even though it only takes Daryl a few seconds to reach his target it feels like an eternity as he waits for the feeling of lead, ripping and tearing through him.

He’s honestly more surprised than he’d like to admit when he makes it to his destination unscathed.

The door slams behind him, drawing the attention of several walkers crowded at the back of the building. He takes a couple shots before his guns clicks, signalling it’s empty. He shoves the useless weapon into his belt and whips the crossbow from where it had been slung across his shoulder blades. He picks off the walkers one by one, taking out the closest ones first so as to be able to retrieve his arrows.

He made quick work of the walkers and then started toward the back to see if there was a second way out, hoping he could sneak to the next building over to look for Y/N. He paused at the door to the kitchen to swing it open just a bit and make sure it was clear.

Just as he was about to step through the doorway he heard snarling and moaning. A familiar sound. A warning. A walker. He recoiled away from the door and put his back to the wall, scanning the room, trying to find the source of the noise. He could hear a scratching noise and something dragging against wood. It became clear that the commotion was coming from behind the bar so he crept over, quickly, bow at the ready.

When he rounds the corner he has a clear line of sight of a walker with it’s bottom half hacked off, scratching and clawing it’s way toward a body, lying on the floor in a small puddle of fresh blood.

Y/N

Daryl quickly puts an arrow in the head of the geek making it’s way toward you and steps over it to crouch down next to you, checking your pulse. He breathes a sigh of relief when he can feel the thumping of your blood rushing through your veins, but it’s barely there which concerns him. He rips off your outer shirt so he can get a better look at the wound and winces. It’s bad. He bunches up the material in his hands and presses it to the bullet hole in an attempt to slow down the bleeding. Daryl glances around wildly, searching for anything useful but he comes up empty. He knows it’s just a matter of time before the shooters come down from their perches and burst in this place, guns blazing.

He’s not too keen on moving you in your condition but he also knows he can’t take on that entire group of survivors by himself. He grits his jaw in determination, knowing that he really only has the one option.

Quickly, he pulls the belt off from around his waist and uses it to secure the shirt to your chest, keeping pressure on the entry point.

Then he swings his crossbow back over his torso and picks up your limp body bridal style. He makes his way toward the kitchen, with renewed urgency, wary of any walkers that might be lurking around, and locates the back door. He kicks it open, breaking the door jamb, and steps out into the day. His eyes take a moment to adjust to the bright sun. Then he’s off, running into the treeline located some 40 yards away, looking for some type of cover. It’s a risky move. He’s exposed, out in the open with no way to defend himself. But it’s your best option at the moment so he does it without batting an eye.

His heart is pounding in his ears as he runs across the empty space, holding you close to his chest. And then the shots ring out, shattering the silence. Daryl surges forward even faster, moving as fast as his legs can possible carry him. As soon as he is a good distance into the tree line he sets you down and pulls out his gun, shoving in a new magazine and taking out any of the shooters who try to get too close.

“C’mon, c’mon!” he grunts as he continues to engage in the fire fight. He’s on his last magazine. Daryl takes more care to aim and shoot only when he’s sure he’s got the target pinned down; but there are too many of them.

Suddenly he hears the squealing of tires and a familiar silver truck comes careening around the corner of one of the buildings. Daryl lets a relieved smile catch on his lips when he sees Sasha, Rick, Carol and Glenn standing in the bed of the truck, opening fire on his assailants. Rick is popping off rounds like a man of fire and the others follow his lead.

Maggie jolts the truck to a stop at the treeline and shouts out the passenger window, “Get in!”

Daryl wastes no time in putting away his weapon and carrying you toward the car. Maggie reaches back and throws open the door to the backseat and Daryl jumps in as quickly as possible while still holding you in his arms. Before the door was even closed Daryl was already shouting “Go! Go!”

“Hang on!” Maggie warned the guys in the back before speeding on out of there, leaving the marauders in their dust. Glenn, Carol, Sasha and Rick all whooped and high-fived, celebrating a mission well done.

Daryl looks down at you, your head laid in his lap. He knows you’re not out of the woods yet, you lost a lot of blood. “How is she?” Maggie asks, seeing Daryl’s concerned face in the rear view mirror. “Not good.” Daryl mumbles, “she needs blood as soon as possible” Maggie nods in understanding, turns her gaze back to the road, grits her jaw in determination and punches the gas. “We’re gonna make it” she states, as if there’s no question.

Daryl lays his head against the window, watching the blur of scenery go by.

He hopes she’s right.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When I wake up I’m laying on my cot back in the prison. I sit up quickly and immediately cringe at the pain from my gunshot wound. “Woah woah woah!” a voice chastises and then Hershel appears beside me, pushing me to lie back down. “You’ll pull out your drip!” When I resist he huffs in annoyance.

“Where’s Daryl? Is he ok?” I ask, concern lacing my tone.

Hershel rolls his eyes and walks toward the cell door, leaning out and calling, “Daryl, she’s awake. She wants to see you.”

I hear heavy footsteps and then Hershel gives me a look before stepping out of the doorway to meet Daryl. They exchange a few hushed words and then Daryl steps into the room and the vet disappears down the hall. I situate myself to sit up against the headboard and once again wince as I forget to compensate for my left side. Daryl takes a step forward in concern but I wave him off.

“How do you feel?” the archer asks, taking a seat on the stool next to my bed. “Never better” I joke and Daryl rolls his eyes but I see an amused smile tug at his lips.

“How about you? Are you hurt?” I question, scanning over his body, looking for any obvious signs of trauma. He shakes his head, his jagged hair swishing around at the movement. “Naw, jus’ had some close calls is all.” he dismisses. I nod, not outwardly showing the relief that I actually feel.

“So, what happened? I thought I was done for for sure when I passed out in that room full of walkers.”

Daryl huffs out a quiet laugh with no real humor to it. “Yeah, thankfully I got there just in time. Took out the walkers and then found you behind the bar.” he explains. My eyes widen slightly and anxiety crawls through me, “You didn’t have to carry me all the way here did you?” I question nervously. I am definitely not the skinniest girl in the world. To be blunt...I’m fat. It doesn’t bother me anymore; I love myself and the way I look but this....this was different. I inwardly cringe at the thought of Daryl struggling to carry me all the way back to the prison.

Daryl cocks his head, giving me a weird look. He must’ve caught on to my discomfort. I double my efforts to appear normal.

“No, I carried you to the woods behind the building and then Rick and a group came and picked us up in the truck.”

“Oh. Ok.”

I was slightly relieved but also slightly mortified that Daryl had still had to carry me at all.

“Thank you.” I mumble quietly, looking at my hands, fidgeting with the bandanna wrapped around my wrist.

When I look up, Daryl ducks his head, looking back up at me through the ends of his hair. “No problem. ‘M just glad we got back in time.” he says, gesturing toward the bag of blood hanging from the top bunk and the tube attaching it to me.

“Yeah.”

It’s quiet for a couple minutes, neither of us knowing what to say. I am so embarrassed that I can barely look at him and yet at the same time I just want him near me; want him to stay. I wrack my head for anything to say to break the silence.

He stands up suddenly from the stool and fidgets awkwardly.

“Well, I’d uh, better get going. I’m on watch soon.”

“Oh, ok.” I say, not being able to help the smallest bit of disappointment from staining my voice. “Would you mind sending Beth in here to keep me company?” I request, already bored at the idea of having to stay in this tiny room by myself for the next week or so. Daryl nods and starts quickly toward the door.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Daryl had hardly been to see me after that while I was recovering and everyone else was really busy so I was bored out of my mind every day that Hershel fussed at me to stay in bed. As soon as I didn’t feel like I’d pass out when I wore myself out I was up and about- though Hershel insisted I wear a sling.

Carl became by self-appointed body guard since I was unable to defend myself well at the moment so he now followed me nearly everywhere. I loved the kid and we had always been close but he was starting to drive me a bit insane.

“Carl, it’s fine, I’m just going to go for a walk.” I say, rolling my eyes as I fight with a 14 year old about leaving the building.

“Yeah but you should at least stay inside the fences. It’s not safe for you to be out there on your own!” he argues, keeping pace with me as I march toward the gate.

“What if you get caught off guard by a group?”

“I can still shoot a gun Carl, I’m not completely useless.”

“Yeah but you can’t reload it.” he retorts. I give him a look and he drops the snark. “C’mon, just let me come with you.”

“No, Carl. I need some time to myself.” I say firmly, coming to a stop in front of the gate. “So, you gonna help me open this or what?” I ask, gesturing toward the pulley system that controls the gateway. Just then I hear a gruff voice behind me.

“Whas’ going on here?” Daryl questions.

I turn, “Carl, won’t let me leave.” I complain. Daryl’s eyes shifted over to the lanky brown-haired boy under the sheriff’s hat.

“She shouldn’t be going outside the gates on her own!” he argues, voice tense with frustration.

Daryl’s gaze returns to me. “Kid’s right.” he mumbled, chewing on his lip subconsciously. I pretend I don’t notice every time he does that.

“Daryl...” I whine. “I just need some freaking space! I’ve been cooped up inside this place for too long!”

Daryl hums in thought as he continues to chew on his lower lip for a moment. “Guess you could come with me. ’M about to go huntin’” he grunts.

I raise my eyebrows and turn to look at Carl hopefully. “Is that good enough for you Sheriff?” I ask, using my playful nickname for the Grimes boy.

He rolls his eyes and waves his hand in dismissal. “Yeah, yeah whatever, that’s fine.” he huffs. He places his hand on the holster by his side and looks to Daryl, “just keep an eye on her.”

I scoff. “You know I’m the adult here right?” I sass. Carl just smirks before turning and loping away back to the prison. I roll my eyes. “That kid is crazy.”

Daryl huffs out a bit of a laugh, “Yeah, just like his old man.”

I laugh breezily and nod in agreement, watching Carl walk away.

“’M gonna go tell Rick we’re leaving and then we can go. Wait here.” Daryl instructs abruptly before stalking away toward the garden where Rick is harvesting the literal fruits of his labor. A small smile crosses my face. I’m glad Rick is getting to have this time of peace. He deserves it.

“Hey,” a familiar voice says behind me. I turn and smile at Michonne. “Hey. What’s up?”

The woman leans to my left a bit to look over my shoulder at Daryl and then looks back to me expectantly. “You tell me.”

I roll my eyes. “Stop.” I say in mock annoyance. Michonne pouts her lush lips at me. “When are you going to tell him?” she pesters. “I’m not!” I defend “For the billionth time Michonne, Daryl doesn’t think of me like that and I am not going to risk our friendship, ok?” It’s Michonne’s turn to roll her eyes at me. “When are you and Rick going to stop playing games and get together already?” I question, diverting her attention. She gives me a deadpan look which I return pointedly. I am just as stubborn as her, if not more so.

“Don’t try and change the subject” she says suddenly and I curse under my breath at my failed attempt. “You’re going hunting with him right?”

I nod hesitantly, unsure as to where she’s going with this.

“Good. It would be the perfect time to tell him!” she points out.

“No.”

“Oh c’mon Y/N! He obviously wants you too!”

“No!”

“At least think about it!” she pleads.

“Think about what?” Daryl says, suddenly right next to me. I jump a bit, startled. “Nothing.” I dismiss quickly, silently praying that Michonne will keep her mouth shut. I turn to Daryl, “You ready to go?” I ask. He nods, looking between Michonne and I with his eyes narrowed in curiosity.

“Alright then, let’s go. Michonne can you open the gate please?” I say, widening my eyes at her in a wordless warning to not say anything stupid. She rolls her eyes, “Yeah sure. But think about what I said.” she says, seriously before turning and marching toward the pulley system, tugging down the rope so the gate opened just enough for Daryl and I to slip out.

We sprint across the clearing around the prison and duck into the woods as quickly as we can, taking out any biters that get too close. Once we’ve put some distance between us and the clearing Daryl walks forward a few paces, eyes trained on the forest floor, searching for any trace of wildlife. I stay closer to the treeline, keeping watch while Daryl gets his bearings. Once I’m sure the coast is clear I walk over to where the hunter is crouched, looking at the muddy ground over his shoulder. “Find anything?” I question. He grunts, “Maybe.” and then stands up.

He starts walking farther into the woods and I follow loosely, enjoying being out of the confines of the prison for the first time in 2 weeks. There are birds swooping and playing around in the treetops and I lean my head back to watch them.

That was probably one of the things I missed most about before, the peace. I mean, of course I miss coffee and wifi and stuff but really, all of that you can live without. But peace, a feeling of safety, is irreplaceable. It’s not something I experience a lot these days but right now, outside, with the breeze playing in my hair and Daryl there to protect me, I feel safe. My eyes shine, smiling all on their own as they dance with the movements of the birds above head.

“So,” Daryl says, clearing his throat, interrupting the silence. I tip my head forward again to look at his back as he continues tracking. “You and Jamie huh?” he asks quietly. I cock my head to the side in confusion. “What?”

Daryl stops and shifts awkwardly, lowering his crossbow from where he had had it positioned just under his chin. “I heard you and Michonne talking about ‘im. You ain’t exactly subtle about having a thing for the guy.” Daryl says. I don’t miss the slight aggression in his voice.

Jamie was one of the new recruits we had picked up. Rick and a group that I happened to be part of had found him squatting in a storeroom at the back of a convenience store. I admit that Jamie is an attractive guy, ropey muscles, dark, curly hair and playful eyes. But even when he had attached himself to me his first couple of weeks at the prison I hadn’t given him a second glance, too enamored by Daryl to even consider something with Jamie. Once he got the message I wasn’t interested he and I had become friends, often ending up on watch together.

I scoff at the idea of me liking Jamie. “Yeah, um, no. Jamie is just a friend. He’s a nice guy and all but not my type.” I dismiss, shaking my head.

Daryl shoots me an unbelieving look over his shoulder.

“Seriously,” I defend, “I don’t like him like that.” I pause for a moment and then throw in offhandedly, “I prefer guys who are a bit more headstrong; independent.”

Daryl’s steps falter for just a second and I feel a flash of panic jolt through me, thinking maybe he caught on to my little hint. I stop too, still a few paces behind him and try to control my suddenly shaky breathing.

“I think I lost the trail.” he mumbles finally and I let out a relieved breath before my eyebrows scrunch in confusion. Daryl never loses a trail.

“Are you alright?”

“’M fine.” he snaps, starting forward again.

“Psh, yeah sure. That was convincing.” I sass back. When he doesn’t say anything else I jog to catch up with him, grabbing his arm to pull him to a stop.

“Seriously, what’s up?” I question, ducking my head to catch his gaze when he looks down.

“Nothin’, get off me woman!” he bites but it’s half-hearted. I give him a look, paying no mind to his rude behavior “Daryl, c’mon, just tell me what’s bothering you.” I press, my voice tinged with concern.

“NOTHIN’!” he shouts, yanking his arm away from my grasp. “Just leave me the fuck alone and go back to your damn boyfriend!”

I flinch at first but then my face scrunches in anger and I roll my eyes. “We’ve already covered this dumbass. Jamie and I are just friends. Why do you care anyway?” I spit, crossing my arms in annoyance.

He turns and starts marching away, muttering something under his breath.

“No,” I call indignantly, traipsing after him “whatever you have to say, grow a pair and say it to my face.” I nag, not ready to let this go.

Daryl stops and whirls around to face me so suddenly that I nearly crash into him.

“Ya wanna know why I care?” he growls, his jaw gritted and eyes boring into mine. My mouth opens but no words come out. I’m momentarily caught off guard. He seems to take this as a sign to continue.

“Because, I was a fucking idiot and I let myself fall in love with you.” he yells, swinging his arm around is agitation like he always does.

My eyes widen in shock and disbelief at his confession. The gears in my brain seem to be working double time, trying to figure out what he could possibly mean other than that and my eyes dart around his features, looking for a lie.

I find none.

“Daryl, I-” I say and then cut myself off. I am at a loss for words. I never in a million years expected this to happen. Daryl makes a noise in the back of his throat at my lack of words and his eyes harden. I know it’s only to cover up the hurt though. His lips part and I can tell he is about to say something else so I speak up first,

“Do you mean that?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

He pauses at that, looking taken aback. His countenance softening when he sees the vulnerability in my eyes. I am raw, exposed. He hesitates for a moment and then nods slowly, uncertainly.

There is silence for another moment as I process his reply. And then a smile breaks out onto my face while a airy laugh of relief slips past my lips.

“I love you too.” I tell him. “I have for a long time. I love you, Daryl.” I exclaim, my voice gaining more conviction as I gain confidence. He grins at me and I love the way his eyes squint with happiness. It’s a rare and beautiful sight which only serves to make my heart swell. He reaches forward and gathers me into his arms, hugging me to him tightly. I immediately return his embrace, burying my face into his worn leather vest. He quickly pulls away just enough to kiss me, strong arms still holding me as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear, though he moves a hand to cup the back of my neck. I melt into the kiss, leaning up on my toes to meet him halfway. His scruffy facial hair brushes against my cheeks which makes me smile. I feel light-headed; dizzy but in the best kind of way. He kisses me so hard that he has to tighten his grip on my waist to keep me in place. We’re both smiling when we finally pull away, our foreheads rested against each other as we pant for breath.

“Why didn’t you say something before?” I ask, genuinely curious.

He pulls away enough to lower his head and shrugs, turning shy again. “D’know, just thought a girl like you wouldn’t want a guy like me.” he murmers. I smile adoringly at him, placing my hand on his cheek to get him to look at me. “Well I guess we’re both idiots because I thought a guy like you wouldn’t want a girl like me.”

His eyes lock onto mine, looking slightly alarmed. “I do.” he insists. I laugh, leaning closer to his again so that our breaths mingle. “And I want you too.”

169 notes · View notes

heedra · 3 years

Text

Exalted Secret Santa Journal: 2020

Apologies for the slight delay! My journal this year is going to be pretty much the same one as last year; I was working on an additional reference but it absolutely got away from me, so I’ll give it more time and save it for next year. Without further ado:

Daia Shan- Serenity Caste Sidereal

Once just a troublesome junior bureaucrat in the halls of Yu-Shan, Daia truly gained infamy upon her selection to accompany a strike team of Exalted heroes on a mission into the depths of the worldbody of the Yozi Oramus, and her subsequent escape and return from that impossible prison, nearly a thousand years later. The experience left her profoundly changed; even now, the spite of Oramus hangs like a mantle around Daia, ensuring that the waking world she fought so hard to return to will never feel like anything more than a dream. And then, of course, there is the matter of the power she took from the Sevenfold Peacock willingly… and how that power might be changing her still.

Daia is a somewhat petite woman, belying an athletic build. She is ethnically from the Blessed Isle, with dark grey hair that she prefers to wear up, usually in a bun or a knot. Her face, which she tries but fails to keep free of stress and worry lines, is usually found bearing a smirk or an expression of dangerous faux-politeness. Her eyes bear the iconic starry blue of the Serenities caste, but are also shot through with bands of a strange prismatic iridescence. She bears a large pair of bull horns atop her head, a mutation received during her time inside the Worldbody. The nature of the power bequeathed to her by Oramus is such, though, that her very nature is beginning to blur around the edges, and it is not unusual for her day-to-day appearance to fluctuate strangely as mutations come and go like glitches. She is a bit of a fashionista, favoring blues, dramatic and sharp femme looks (she avoids ruffles and prefers sleeker outfits), and jewelry of all sorts (a lot of it). She rarely wears the same exact outfit twice, so do not feel obligated to stick to the reference- you can get creative! She wears makeup, but prefers cool colors and an understated application.

Daia’s most important accessory is her longfang, the Sevenfold Peacock’s Tailfeather. Forged from starmetal, orichalcum, and a crystalline shard of Oramic essence, the weapon contains knowledge of every martial arts technique known by every user to have ever wielded it, and seems to hunger for more to the point where its obsession has bled over into Daia herself. Even more potently, it bears deep within its core the secret to a martial art concocted by the Dragon of Not himself, whose charms grant the power to ignore the limits of impossibility at the cost of making the wielder more and more alien to the waking world. It is a temptation that Daia has drunk deep of, despite all signs pointing to that being a very bad idea. Daia sees the spear as a trophy stolen from her greatest nemesis, but it’s very possible the Yozi himself sees it as a clever snare for hubristic Sidereals. The blade of the weapon is prismatic crystal that resembles a jagged bird’s beak, the pole is jet black starmetal shot through with an orichalcum starmap of constellations, and the orichalcum pommel is fashioned to look like seven golden peacock feathers woven together into a sphere.

While her exaltation may brand Daia a chosen of the Maidens, the elder Sid is a loose cannon, an agent of Heaven in only the most general of terms. She is mercurial, theatrical, fond of causing petty chaos, and utterly disinterested in the politics of the Bureau, unless there is way for her to stir up drama. She has tendency to get ahead of herself with her schemes, and the vast majority of her ‘downfalls’ can be traced back to her own hubris. Beneath all that, she is a lonely woman who feels adrift in a world that no longer feels real to her. She’s a terrible flirt, a huge showoff (especially where martial arts are involved) and has a weak spot for dangerous women. She’s Creation’s wildest and worst gay aunt.

Side Note: Daia is partially deaf, due to an old and potent supernatural injury. She employs the use of what magic/technology she can to aid her, but relies as well on sign language and interpreters. She’s very used to it at this point.

here’s the link to a better-resolution version of this image bc tumblr kinda fuckt it

and here’s the link to her toyhouse page, which has further images and info!

________________________________________________________________

Avenging Phoenix- Dawn Caste Solar (Formerly Ravenous Vulture Picks Clean the Bones of Creation, Dusk Caste Abyssal)

Orphaned at an early age, Phoenix was adopted by a Guild mercenary and raised as such. He spent his later mortal life as a city guard captain in Thorns, where he exalted during the fateful siege itself, disillusionment and rage at the circumstances of his death making him an easy recruit for the Mask. His path has weaved far and wide since then, a slow painful crawl from rebellion to eventual redemption; a journey that ultimately gave him a place among the saviors of Creation. Along the way, he played a role in liberating a group of orphaned children from the clutches of the Dowager, and now finds himself settling into the role of an adoptive dad to them, hanging up his metaphorical (and literal) axe and trying to live a gentler life. It’s not always easy. Violence and trauma etched in that deep doesn’t just smooth out perfectly over time. On top of that, he has impostor’s syndrome when it comes to his redemption by the Sun, and still feels uncomfortable thinking of himself as a peer to the other members of the Solar Host. Still, as long as his soul is on this side of Lethe, he is determined to fight against the Void- not because he considers himself antithesis to it, but because he has known it and survived it. And while some days it’s hard, other days it feels like, maybe, fighting against the void can be planting sunflowers for your children on a sunny spring afternoon.

Phoenix is of Western descent, very short, fat, and beefy, with warm brown skin and a round, open face. He keeps his burgundy hair closely shaved, not fond of dealing with the mess of wavy curls it becomes when allowed to grow out. His eyes are dark brown, almost black, the outside of the iris rimmed with the faintest edge of golden yellow. His nose looks like it has been broken multiple times in the past, and never properly healed. Due to unfortunate wyld misadventures his tongue has been mutated to resemble and function like that of a frog’s, though this is only really apparent when he opens his mouth to use the damn thing. Frogs and toads are a definite motif for him in general- small, grumpy-looking, and round as they are.

Phoenix’s casual clothes tend to be simple, comfortable, loose, and in sharp contrast to his prickly combat garb. He enjoys floral patterns, and the color pink. He’s got a very ‘open hawaiian shirt and flip flops dad’ vibe, basically. He does not dress fancily unless pressed to for big occasions, and in those cases usually grudgingly follows the fashion direction of the one twisting his arm. When he’s on actual exalt business, he’s most frequently found wearing his armor; black jade full plate embellished with cruel-looking spikes, and occasionally a shaggy grey fur cloak made from the pelt of some hunting trophy. A horned skull helm, made from the skull of a nephwrack’s war-body, often completes this ensemble. The helmet is a minor artifact: when worn, it causes his eyes to glow balefully behind its sockets and makes his voice gravelly with deathly menace. He is reluctant to take it off unless he feels at ease in a situation.

Phoenix is somewhat bumbling and gruffly soft-spoken, with tendency to look more tired than he feels. Beneath this is a talent for strategic leadership and a determination that gets fiercer as the going gets tougher. On the battlefield, he is utterly terrifying when he needs to be, but would much prefer to be at home in his garden than on a battlefield these days.

His anima banner starts as burst of gold-and crimson fire that solidifies into the form of a fierce and predatory-looking phoenix, with aspects of a garda bird and a lammergeier both. It moves as he does across the battlefield, swooping and rising with each swing of his axe, its fierce eyes focused on his opponent. Additional refs:

link to his toyhouse page, which has a TON more reference images

what he looked like as an abyssal | his grand grimcleaver looks like this except made outta fiery golden light | rough sketch of his skull helmet

#exalted secret santa #exalted secret santa 2020 #tabletoppin #yeah this is pretty much the same exact journal from last year ghdghsdgsdh #i was gonna add bite but i got very caught up in trying to draw her warform correctly so i wanna give that more time #plus i love these two #my characters

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unlockthelore · 4 years

Text

catch me, won’t you?

Part 6 of Know-It-All a.k.a the modern AU snippet series that no one asked for. To find other parts of the series, follow the know-it-all tag.

shijimeikme#1231 — direct message with nenehime#1113

nenehime AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

shijimeikme what is it I’m studying

nenehime are you really studying??? (¯―¯٥)

shijimeikme fair

shijimeikme what is it

nenehime I’m coming over

shijimeikme okay??? but the screaming ( ¬_¬)

nenehime i messed up

shijimeikme bad enough that you gotta scream???

shijimeikme did you text aoi???

nenehime no not yet she’ll do the thing

shijimeikme the protective best friend thing where she defers to murder first?

nenehime it’s almost scary that you know that

shijimeikme been hanging out with u guys long enough

shijimeikme alright ima clean up, tell me what happened

Nene was hard pressed to stay where she was while waiting for Amane to wake up. The sides of her phone case pressing uncomfortably into her palms as she gripped it tight enough that she could hear the plastic cracking. A slight fumble to keep from breaking it resulting in her phone smacking against her face and only Amane’s soft huff reminding her not to groan in pain. The throbbing on her forehead reminding her of the contrast, his lips soft as they brushed against her skin, leaving a kiss that was quickly drowned out as he sang the last line.

Looking her in the eye.

Just like —

She wanted to scream or kick out her legs or do something. Staring out the window as the evening sunlight slanted through, lightening the dark blue curtains and running over the carpet to the edge of Amane’s bed. His arm loosened its grip around her waist and Nene could move a bit easier but she stayed where she was. As much as she wanted to rant and rage, she found herself just laying there. Looking around the room and memorizing every inch of it.

His telescope in the corner.

A number of books on his shelf, rearranged in sequence, with a soccer ball propped up beside them. The dust collecting on the trophy hidden behind it. Posters of his heroes on dark blue walls, a mosaic painting of the Apollo 11 moon landing, the light catching and making the moon shine. The glare catching on the dark screen of his television, a shelf beneath it with books and games organized on either side, his system tucked away in the cabinet.

How many hours did she spend here playing games with him when they should be studying?

His slight grin when she won and rubbed it in his face only to start up another game while she wasn’t looking.

Would that all change because she knew now?

Looking down at him, her breath hitched when he started to shift and his eyes slowly opened. His cheek brushing against her chest as he raised his head, resting his chin against her chest and staring up at her with sleep-glazed sunset eyes.

“Yashiro,” he called, voice husky with sleep. “What time is it?”

Nene’s eyes widened and she fumbled for her phone, pressing the home button to see the time and another message from Mei.

“About five,” she said, shifting from beneath him as carefully as she could as he rolled to the side. “I should start heading home.”

She chose to wisely ignore the way that his voice made the back of her neck warm or twist her stomach in knots when he looked her way. His eyes were oranger than gold, or was it golder than orange? If she got a better look. Zipping her bag shut with more force than necessary, she downed the thought before it could grow any further. There was no way she could do that. Being that close to him —

Standing up abruptly, her knees almost buckled but she forced herself upright, picking up her phone from where it laid beside him. Amane lying on his side and peering up at her with a soft grumble, his fingers curled in the sheets.

Why.

She pressed her phone to her chest, holding it tightly, trying to slow the racing of her heart. He looked so vulnerable, small as he curled up in a ball, his eyes squinting to avoid being blinded by the light. Wide eyes that looked up at her with trust and fondness, faint dark circles beneath them showing he could use a bit more sleep, and his smile. It wasn’t teasing or cat-like but wide and warm, crinkling his eyes at the corners and stealing her breath away.

Oh no, she couldn’t do this.

“See you tomorrow, Amane,” she blurted out, gripping the strap of her bag and hurrying downstairs.

Tsuchigomori raised his hands as she flew past him, peering at her curiously. “Where’s the fire..?”

“I just have to head home, parents… y’know.”

Lying to him was so difficult. Not only because he was a teacher but he always seemed to just know. His hum was judgmental and she could feel his gaze on her back, analyzing her with a scrutiny that might have made her crack if she looked back at him. Tugging her shoes on, she stood and bowed deeply.

“Bye!”

Throwing open the doors, she looked down at her phone, squinting against the glare from the light.

shijimeikme#1231 — direct message with nenehime#1113

nenehime I came over to amane’s to hangout and he was so tired so I tried to cheer him up then we were singing and it was all nice and he kissed my forehead and said he loved me

shijimeikme …. Just like that

nenehime well… yes… and no…and kinda??? It was part of the song

shijimeikme but he kissed you

nenehime my forehead

shijimeikme which is a part of you

nenehime hnnnnnn I knooooooow meeeeeeei

shijimeikme are you still there???

nenehime no I’m leaving

shijimeikme did you talk to him before you left

nenehime does saying see you tomorrow count

shijimeikme baby no

shijimeikme hurry up and get over here

nenehime AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

shijimeikme see now the screaming makes sense

Throwing her phone into her bag, she hurried off as quickly as her legs could carry her. Amane’s voice repeating like a song she couldn’t get out of her head.

koulest#0206 — direct message with hanako#0724

hanako i fucked up

koulest to the surprise of no one

hanako kid ur killing me

koulest wh

koulest I’m olny few years younger thn u

hanako and shit at spelling too

koulest I’m going back to bed

hanako wait kou no listen

koulest whaaaaaaaat???

hanako so how would you cope w/ falling asleep on ur crush

koulest ….. what did you do

hanako so yashiro came over and tsuchigomori must’ve said something to her bc she was trying to get me to stop studying

koulest to be fair you don’t take breaks

hanako hey hey that’s not the point

hanako stay on topic

koulest mmmmm you didn’t deny it

hanako kou

koulest alrgiht alright damn so what

hanako I was sleep deprived kinda and she played this song and we were dancing and

koulest wait how sleep deprived

hanako stAY ON POINT

koulest HOW LONG WERE YOU AWAKE

hanako LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW I FUCKED UP

koulest you know what??? fair

koulest continue

hanakoshe played fly me to the moon

koulest soft but mmm think theres more to this

hanako look up the lyrics

koulest ohhhHHH fuck

hanako does your brother even let you curse???

koulest if you and I wanna survive he better not find out

hanako anyway we were singing

koulest ….

hanako kou

koulest you did a duet w senpai

hanako why do you still call her that but not me

koulest because you might be older than me grade-wise but up here we’re the same

hanako did you tap your head??? you know I can’t see you right

koulest HUSH

koulest okay, so how’d this lead to you falling asleep on her

hanako I got comfortable and… she was telling me to take a break and I was gonna just lay down and when I woke up I was on her

koulest did you do anything to her

hanako WH no what do you take me for

koulest (;￢＿￢) do you really wanna know

hanako killing me

hanako anyway I was faking sleep when I woke up bc I was trying to figure out how I got here

hanako and she’s messing with my hair

hanako then I “woke up” and she was on her phone and said she had to go

hanako and idk if she actually had to go or no but we didn’t talk bout it

hanako and idk if I made things weird cause this isn’ the first time

koulest back up

koulest the fuck do you mean this isn’t the first time

hanako ….

koulest oh no NOPE you don’t get to do the ellipsis of disappointment

hanako the wh

koulest mitsuba

koulest but that’s not the point TELL

hanako mmMMM mitsuba ok

koulest the fuck does that mean

hanako ANYWAY we were stargazing awhile ago

koulest post or pre kodama incident

hanako we do not speak about the kodama incident

koulest still can’t believe u did that

hanako kou no kodama incident please

koulest alright, alright what happened

hanako we fell asleep and when I woke up we were cuddling???

koulest idk if u have the best or worse luck

hanako don you mean worst

koulest nah ur luck just gets terrible w the day

koulest anyway did she talk about it w u thin

hanako then???

koulest I’M GOING BACK TO BED

hanako KOU WAIT NO

hanako yeah yeah she talked to me

hanako and I asked her if we could cuddle not as friends

koulest ??? Don’t leave me in suspense what’d she say

hanako she said yeah

koulest …. Okay why do I think you’re leaving something out

hanako am I?

koulest u were sleep deprived so you might’ve done something to make senpai skip out

hanako I can’t think of what tho and if I ask her

hanako so fkinembarrassed

koulest maybe if you actually slept

hanako shUT YOUR FUCK

koulest get some sleep we can talk about it tomorrow

koulest GET SOME SLEEP

hanako fuck we do have school tomorrow

koulest you would know that if ur days weren’t blurring

koulest BECAUSE YOU DON’T SLEEP

hanako GOOD NIGHT KOU

koulest oH FINALLY

Amane’s phone screen went dark, reflecting his own flustered face, and he grimaced at the sight. Dropping his phone to his chest and burying his fingers in his hair as he squinted at the ceiling. It’d long since gotten dark and Tsuchigomori ordered takeout, Yako coming over, and their usual bickering distracted him from his thoughts. Insisting that he’d be heading off to bed when he was only paying partial attention to one of their arguments that he’d been drawn into. Weighty sharp gazes following him and their voices were hushed as he disappeared from sight, no doubt trying to glean the meaning for his behavior.

How was he supposed to tell them that he might have scared off the girl that he liked because she was trying to make him feel better? Hell, how was he supposed to justify it to himself. The heels of his hands pressed against his eyelids, making the stars on his ceiling blurry and his eyes water. Deep down, he almost wanted to cry.

It took him a full six minutes to register Nene’s hasty goodbye and another two to hurry after her with the insistence of walking her home. She didn’t hear him, tapping away at her phone, her shoulders hunched and steps brisk — reminding him of that day. A muffled curse behind his hand as the memory came to mind.

The day was perfect. Like a scene out of her favorite movie, and her eyes were so warm and trusting. She believed every word that came out of his mouth. And that was it. He meant it, meant that he liked her, perhaps not love but he did like her and —

He hurt her.

Ruby eyes glistening with unshed tears, the ones that managed to slip free in silver streaks down her cheeks were quickly wiped away as she jerked away from him. The dull ache in his head from her headbutt was nothing compared to the sharp pain in his chest. Seeing her walking away from him, rubbing her eyes from tears he caused, all because his intentions were good but his method wasn’t.

What more could he do but apologize to her?

Could he really expect her to believe him when he lied before?

His phone slid off his chest as he shifted onto his side, pressing his cheek against his pillow, the smell of earth and something sweet filling his nose.

Nene.

It could only be her. And he mentally kicked himself, burying his face against the pillow and clutching it tightly.

kannoaoi#0320 — direct message with nenehime#1113

nenehime AOI I NEED YOUR HELP

kannoaoi name and what’d they do

nenehime wh— （・□・；）no not like that

kannoaoi just kidding （⌒▽⌒）mei told me what happened

nenehime

nenehime message

kannoaoi well it doesn’t sound like the kodama incident again

kannoaoi if he was as tired as you said maybe he meant it

kannoaoi or maybe he was delirious

nenehime not helping aoi

kannoaoi what im saying is that talking to us is well and good but you should talk to yugi

nenehime but how do you talk to someone whose bed you woke up in twice

kannoaoi how do you talk to me? (✿╹u╹)

nenehime aoi you’re different

kannoaoi and I’m glad you think so but nene whats one of the most irritating tropes from your books

nenehime besides power imbalance???

kannoaoi mhm

nenehime miscommunication

nenehime … oh

kannoaoi oh (✿◠‿◠)

Flower emojis were supposed to be cute but somehow Aoi could make them both that and absolutely threatening. Locking her phone screen, Nene stared at her own reddened faced worried her bottom lip between her teeth. Black Canyon rolled across her pillow, colliding with her cheek and she closed her eyes with a sigh. Letting her phone fall to the side, her hands cupping around the mischievous hamster as she sat up and tucked her knees in close.

The contents of her bag spilled out over the shag carpet, her books face down and obscuring the heart shaped design from view. Her gaze drifting to the ceiling then her curtains, the stuffed animals and movie posters barely discernible in the low lighting. Her teal hair falling in her face as she rested her head against her knees, nuzzling against Black Canyon’s fur. Honey and brown sugar from the shampoo that she used bathe him still fresh. Pressing a kiss to his head, she set him on the floor and let him run around, pushing the ball that he’d come to claim as his own.

Black and white, checkered just like the one in Amane’s room, bumping against her dresser and the walls. Sitting back with her head against the wall, she almost wished for the glow in the dark stars on her ceiling. Checking to make sure that Black Canyon wasn’t nearby as she toed off her bed, bending down to pick up the objects from her bag. Her books heavy in her hands, thumbs running over the embossed titles.

What was she going to do come tomorrow?

It wasn’t as if she could just hide in her room or avoid him. No one was at fault but the knots twisting in her stomach and the fear of having dashed hopes meant something. Pressing her lips to the spine of her book, she tried to remember the warmth of his hand and the gentle press of his lips against her forehead. That wide smile, soft and all for her.

I just wanted them to stop making fun of you.

Was it really that bad?

If he liked her and she liked him, did anyone else really matter?

And even then — why would anyone tease for her liking him when he was so…

Draping her bag on her chair, she tip toed over to the window and pulled the soft cherry pink curtains, opening her window slightly to let the cool air come in. Her arms crossed on the window sill and chin resting atop of them as she looked out at the cityscape. Thousands of lights wavering in the distance, dancing as her eyelids fell and she sighed. The moon wasn’t out tonight and she wondered if he was dismayed by it.

He kept track of the moon phases on his calendars so she doubted he didn’t know but she wanted to check anyway.

Though with the way she left, would it be alright to text him?

Was he offended because they didn’t talk?

Or should she just do it anyway?

They were still friends.

Black Canyon’s soft squeaks made her smile and she rested her cheek against her arms, watching him as he bumped the ball against the wall, trying to get it to change directions. Scurrying after it with all of the speed that his tiny legs could afford him.

Sometimes, she thought it must have been a lot easier to be an animal.

Like a hamster or a fish.

Lingering by the window for a moment longer, she sighed and drifted back to her bed, picking up her phone. The light shining in her eyes were momentarily blinding and scrolling through the recent messages, she found the thread with Amane and her finger hovered over it.

Yashiro, I love you! Please go out with me.

I love you.

hanako#0724 — direct message with nenehime#1113

nenehime no stargazing tonight I guess

nenehime amane

nenehime about earlier can we talk?

nenehime …please

Nene had never been one for flippant use of prayer. In fact, she tried not to pray for things that were selfish if she could help it. But right now, she really needed this. Even if it went wrong and something happened that couldn’t be taken back — it was better than this.

A gentle chime and a notification popped up on her screen. She pressed her phone to her forehead with a ragged sigh, sagging down to the floor. Black Canyon’s ball tapping her side as the hamster squeaked at her.

hanako#0724 — direct message with nenehime#1113

hanako yeah

hananene squad — 5 members

koulest added kannoaoi to the group.

koulest added shijimeikme to the group.

koulest added aoi_a to the group.

koulest added elemonate to the group.

koulest added snapmitsu to the group.

koulest renamed koulest, kannoaoi, shijimeikme, aoi_a, elemonate, snapmitsu to hananene squad.

snapmitsu TRAFFIC EARRING yOU ASS

koulest wrong chat mitsuba

elemonate im sory but what was the right chat

aoi_a sory?

elemonate yeah like you

aoi_a rude

shijimeikme assuming we’re all here for the same thing are we gonna talk about our friends pining or…

koulest is pining even the word anymore

koulest wait role call how did everybody find out

kannoaoi nene

koulest amane

snapmitsu being added to this gc

aoi_a u can leave anytime

snapmitsu fuck u im staying

koulest okay but can we talk about what we’re gonna do about them

snapmitsu like are we picking sides

koulest wh NO why would we pick sides we’re both of their friends

aoi_a idk if I’d say that

kannoaoi akane

kannoaoi and don’t worry too much kou

shijimeikme aoi’s right, we don’t have to do much of anything

elemonate ….. what did you two already do

kannoaoi planted the seeds, so watch them grow

snapmitsu a gardening joke???

kannoaoi this IS nene we’re talking about here

shijimeikme yeah kou so just let the stars align

snapmitsu am I having a stoke is this what a stroke feels like

aoi_a so basically we were called for….

aoi_a nothing if we’re being honest

koulest no no I wouldn’t say THAT - sigh - we’re out here in case anything happens

elemonate like what super senate

koulest yeah like sentai WARRIORS

kannoaoi and the two people we’re talking about aren’t part of this little band of heroes

koulest do you want me to make a whole gc with all of us???

snapmitsu nope a server

koulest wh

aoi_a more space for pins

elemonate you mean memes

shijimeikme you mean pictures

kannoaoi you mean puns

aoi_a aoi please

snapmitsu heathens all of you

aoi_a tomorrow is gonna be fun

snapmitsu for who?

shijimeikme yes

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #hananene #yashiro nene #yugi amane #know-it-all

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sleepy-sunlight · 5 years

Note

Can i get some,,,trans man inquis/trans man bull w bull makin the inquisitor feel better bc he understands the struggles - its ok if its too much to ask ive just been feeling a bit Unvalid with my identity and im love bull

I’m absolutely more than happy to write this prompt for you! While you may be struggling with yourself please know that no matter what your identity and who you are is both incredibly valid and wonderful! You are an amazing person deserving of all the love in the world!

Trigger warning for Gender Dysphoria. I’ll add tags for anyone but just another forewarning if you’re uncomfortable with that subject matter

Enjoy the prompt! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

———————————————————————————————————–

You stared at yourself in the mirror, hands grazing over your body tentatively not with care but with unease – tangles upon tangles ensnaring themselves in your stomach.

Nothing about it was right from the tiniest to the most glaring of flaws you saw and scrutinized them all. You felt as if every single part of you was missing a detail – like a sculpture abandoned in the middle of its creation you were seemingly scattered with tiny, insignificant details that culminated in a glaring misconception of who you were.

You knew you were a man – you felt it from the deepest parts of your heart and soul, but from the back of your mind – that nagging, that incessant, horrible, cruel hiss in the back of your mind said otherwise.

You weren’t enough.

No matter how much you tried – how much you strived – you’d never be a-

“Kadan?” The deep guttural voice that so usually calmed and warmed your heart nearly caused it to leap from your chest, an inexplicable shot of shame rippling through you as you scrambled to hide all those mistakes you thought riddled your body. “What’re you-”

He emerged from the hall into your quarters and the bright smile stretched across his face muddled into a worried knowing at the sight of you stranded in front of the mirror. “Oh… Kadan… what’re you doing?”

You clamped tight onto your sides and your throat almost tightened as much as your sealed lips – you pried them open only to make dry, weary words. “N-Nothing just – just looking.”

It clicked in the Iron Bull’s mind in an instant, and his shoulders dropped with a sigh. He took a few more steps forward and settled down on the creaky old chest before your bed. His fingers locked together and his heavyset arms tipped against his knees thoughtfully, focusing on you with a sort of gentleness one found all too rarely – with or without the wartime setting.

“Do you want to talk about what you were looking at?”

You glanced at his chest scars, engraved along his skin like brush strokes upon a painting – they told a journey, one of strength and character that poured from him from the very glint in his gaze. You yearned for that security, that belief not just in how the rest of the world saw him but for how he saw himself.

You felt as if you could only wish for such a thing.

Your heart panged and you swallowed hard. If anyone were to understand it’d be him – you were okay – you were safe. He wasn’t here to judge, and he certainly wasn’t here to add further fuel to the fire.

“I just…” You wrinkled your nose in frustration. “I don’t feel like I’m enough – like I’m not enough of a man. I-It’s like I’m some sort of imposter or I’m just mimicking the other men around me!”

“A-And I know I’m not – I shouldn’t – compare myself to other men but I-I just… I see men like Cullen and I – I just see everything I’m not, like I’m wearing some c-costume! I’m not-”

“Hey there, slow down.”

The Iron Bull stood up and took your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing gently against your cheeks with such a tenderness you swore you could’ve melted. He wiped away at the tears that had just begun to sting at your eyes, though even with your blurring vision you could still see the sincere tenderness overwhelming his expression.

He eased his forehead against your own, the comfortable, steady breaths of his own beginning to calm your ensnared nerves.

“I felt the very same way you did – I still do sometimes.” The Iron Bull spoke gently. “But those thoughts don’t define who you are, they never will. They’re called intrusive for a reason, Kadan!” The hearty laugh he gave brought a smile tinging your expression.

“But… do not ever let those intrusive thoughts take away from what’s true.”

“And what’s that?”

He chuckled and turned you to the mirror where he wound his arms around you as if you were the most precious treasure he’d ever found throughout his travels. It brought a warmth swarming in your chest and that mere hint of a smile stretching to something more, something genuine.

“That you are a ridiculously fucking handsome man.” Iron Bull beamed. “I mean seriously, I ought to write your parents a thank you letter.”

“Oh, for Andraste’s sake!” You brought into a fit of laughter that was hardly helped by the kisses Bull began to pepper against your skin, sweeter than sugar. “You’re such a sap!”

Bull’s laughter weaved through your hair and he closed his eyes. He wasn’t one who’d do such a thing very often, instead often racing to the next opportunity, the next adventure – yet now, he wanted nothing more than to never let this moment pass. If the sun never fell that’d be alright by him, and frankly, it suited you just fine too.

“Only for you Kadan.” He let out a heavy breath and his lids flickered open, watching you through the mirror attentively. “And you know why? It’s ‘cause you are the damn most amazing person I’ve ever met, and you are deserving of everything this messy ass world can offer – everything my messy ass can offer,” Bull snorted. “You may not see who you are in that reflection, but you are still a man and no force on this world can change that – no intrusive thoughts or dick-bag nobles included.”

Bull squeezed you lovingly and your heart thought it might threaten to burst.

“One day you’ll look in that mirror and you will see exactly who you truly are, and you know what you’ll think?”

“Hm?”

“’Wow, I really am a man,” He paused. “…and Bull was very right – as always.”

“Those words exactly?”

“Precisely.”

“Why don’t you just stick around for that day? Then you can just say that last part.” You asked, sinking against him as you reflected.

You might not be at that perfect point today, but one day you would see the exact man you felt inside of you.

And at that moment, you felt just a tad bit closer.

“Kadan, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

#Gender Dysphoria Trigger Warning #Gender Dysphoria tw #dysphoria tw #dysphoria trigger warning #Dragon Age #Dragon Age Inquisition #DAI #da:i #The Iron Bull #the iron bull dragon age #dragon age the iron bull #The Iron Bull x Inquisitor #The Iron Bull x Reader #Iron Bull x Inquisitor #Iron Bull x Reader #Iron Bull x You #You x The Iron Bull #You x Iron Bull

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empresspiscea · 5 years

Text

lessons and questions that come with the number 3 | published by @viriyaakarunaa on twitter.

are you as a good of a communicator as you lead yourself to believe? where do you struggle with being an active and attentive listener? | I never really thought i was a great communicator. I've always thought I understood what others were saying to a great degree, but ive always had a hard time speaking up for myself. (as I write this I am growing curious where this stems from and how it ties into my 3H cusp on taurus). I think if i just stfu, I would come across as an attentive and active listener, because i am! I just have an opinion on every damn thing and i should share it with more conviction.

do you listen with the intention to digest what you were told? | When it comes to learning, yess! I devour knowledge, and i am the same with stories that peak my interest. though I have noticed recently that I struggle to remain present in social situations, and when conversations that are much more mundane or emotional taxing occur.

3 aligns with the sacral chakra and nervous system. have you don't work to maintain the balance between your mind your emotions - allow neither to fully take charge, but instead to work in balance? | DO I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU - this was literally my life last week. so to sum it up, I nearly got in a car accident because my dumbass didn't process that a green light was actually a green arrow. It wasn't until up was home when i fully processes that my emotions were in full control. there was no rationality filter. In times like those, my awareness is key. I need to know when either my mind or emotions are taking over bc (thanks to astrology) there is great separation between the two. they crave different things. my mind, the intellectual thinker who wants to see something from all the angles and my emotions who spark flames wherever the wind takes them.

how do you respond when you are triggered and where do you have to take responsibility for yourself and the world to make your triggers less explosive? | The end result of many of my triggers is to shut down. Whether it be not confronting it to begin with (mind lol) or lash out since i have to put up with it and then never acknowledge it again (moon lol). I was actually telling myself earlier today that if i have to do something i don't want to do, ima do it, I just won't be a pleasant experience for EITHER of us.

do yo think before reacting or is the reaction is more important? | *insert devilish smile* reacting has always been instinctual for me. it had nothing to do with if it was important or not, I just couldn't control myself. Now, with traumatic programming and coping mechanisms, that isn't really the best thing. But with meditation and some subliminal messages, when can kick those toxic coping mechanisms to the curb.

do you think before you speak? do you take your time formulating your thoughts? how mindful are your conversation or are you talking just because you can? | I don't ever talk because i can, i dont think ive ever been confident enough for that. once i feel like i'm trailing into nothingness i try to excuse myself from speaking. I often overthink my thoughts. I've recently noticed that when i when i am speaking from my feeling (as soon as it sparks my interest) I can articulate my ideas seamlessly. But once I start thinking about how that message should come across, I struggle. (now that makes me curious about my mercury-moon midpoints being in cancer and capricorn. im trying to blur the lines between nurturing and rigidness.)

what do you do for your community? what is your role in your community dynamic? | tbn, not shit. I am very inactive when i comes to community activities, and I would love to start participating more. this will be an exciting part of my journey in 2020.

how often are you lying to yourself and what are you being dishonest about? | it's been a while, I haven't really had something to lie to myself about to, but lemme try to think. some kind of delusional hope that every guy has some kind of prince charming in them deep down. that one. that my path is the best path. idk that sounds like bullshit

when you experience self doubt do you take the time to explore its origin? are you doubtful because you have internalized what other people have said about you? or are you doubtful because, once again, you've lied to yourself about your ability? | yeah this is where the lying to myself thing really starts to disconnect. Because i've lied to myself about my ability? hmm, not quite. ive always been aware of the separation between my isolated bringing and the horizons i would like to further pursue. I want to bring life to the party, but i and ever been the life of the party. and that's the origin of self doubt: "you already know your not capable, so why even bother?" if we want to get deep deep, i can see how much of this is rooted in my mother and her expectations. I've internalized the possible negative reactions others may have, when right now i don't care what anyone thinks of me. I just want to do what I do and feel good doing it.

where do you stand with your inner child? have you taken the time to explore where you are still triggered by your inner child? | yess! me and her are best buds. we've been doing a lot of inner work lately. she's proud of me. I want to honor her.

#universal 3 year #universal 3 month #personal 1 year #personal 1 month #inner child #september journals

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sicklylittlesnowflake · 6 years

Note

you don't have to write it if it doesn't speak to you, but i just read and loved your fic where peter calms tony down from a panic attack, and now i offer a Good Concept: Peter trying to help Tony get through a meeting at SHIELD when Tony's spacey and in pain from a headache/fever?

@taylortut !!!! I really like this prompt girl!!

In the course of his lifetime Tony has witnessed the discovery of alien life, multiple alien invasions, discovering that the very threads of his reality all coincided within 6 stones, and yet he had never been more confused in his life up until this moment.

Everything Nick Fury says seems to be a jumble of words that don’t seem to be any language, perhaps some alien language but even then they’re barely even audible. They’re all slurred together and seemingly slowed down like his VCR tape had just malfunctioned.

He feels warm and hot all over and he felt like his face was on fire but his lower half was stuck in the middle of the arctic, and he wanted to scream. There was part of him that wanted to throw a tantrum and crawl up on the floor wailing in agony, but he was a grown man who was much respected with a very strong image to pursue and doing such a thing was..out of character, to the say the least.

Tony doesn’t remember the last time he felt this sick, hell, he doesn’t even think he’s ever felt this sick in his entire life. He grits his teeth together as he braces this headache that comes in ravaging like a hurricane in his head, destroying every cell in his brain. His fists are balled intensely in an attempt to anchor himself through this whirlwind of pain, and he doesn’t know if he’s really not concealing his discomfort well at all or Peter is just this observant but either way he can sense that the kid is staring holes into him.

Peter, as always, is kind and loving, with a soul softer than his damn hair, which is pretty damn soft. He doesn’t stare at Tony with malicious or judging intent, he stares at him with genuine concern and worry, and this sort of nervous energy he sort of sees in himself. He knows this kid isn’t his, but it sure feels like it.

Peter doesn’t quite know sign language all too well, he’s only just started after all (because he was an avenger now, all the avengers know sign language for Clint, why was he any different? and yes, Mr Stark, he was an avenger now) and he seems to be making up his own bizzaro form of sign language, which mostly consisted of an equally outlandish series of facial expressions. Tony has absolutely no clue what this kid is trying to communicate, but he can only assume is a, ‘you okay?’

As dumb and ridiculous as this exchange is, at least its amusing and it’s giving him a break from everything else that’s going on. Peter’s great at that. He gives him a little break from everything in the world that’s shitty and bleak and shows him what’s right with the world. His headache hurt a little bit less.

Tony raises an eyebrow in amusement.

Peter shows a bit agitation, frustrated he can’t quite get his point across, not wanting to interrupt Fury who seems to still be going on about these Ravagers he doesn’t really understand, and tries mouthing his message, but Tony pretends like he doesn’t understand, because yes he’s sick but he’s a little shit and being sick doesn’t stop that.

Peter, who’s directly in front of him, gives him a look that just tells him he knows what he’s up to. He looks absolutely done with him. He sighs dramatically, and goes on listening to some guy who’s started drone on and on about budget control. Tony knows he’s not really listening though and trying to discreetly check in on him, and he makes a mental note to see about teaching Peter a thing or two about stealth.

But all the joking and lighthearted tomfoolery doesn’t last long and it fades quickly and the storm starts up again. He feels awfully lightheaded and his head hurts so much, his whole body is heavy and he feels lost. It’s like he’s disconnected and disassociated and he’s simply hovering around, him and his body seeming to not connect. He feels a little delirious like his entire body is slowly dying off in a desert and his face is burning.

He feels like his body is begging for rest, gripping at his chair to anchor himself as he’s hit with yet another tidal wave of pain, nausea, and hot and cold waves and Peter seems to sense this. He eyes him worriedly, trying to keep up his discreet charade but he gives it up.

“Do you guys want some water?” Peter chirps up suddenly, interrupting the guy who’s still on about budget control, earning himself an annoyed look. He blushes a little as he realises what he’s done is a little rude, but to him Tony’s welfare is more dire right now than how much money is being allocated towards a new doorway.

“You can get some if you want, Mr Parker,” He sighs, teeth gritted and quickly resuming his bit.

Tony shoots Peter a tired look but the kid is gone in a flash, and when he’s gone it’s like everything is much worse because there’s no one to sulk at. He stifles a cough into the tailored fabric of his suit jacket, going relatively unnoticed which he’s glad for. He lets himself slump just a little, not too much, he still has an image, but he lets that image go just the tiniest bit.

Every second Peter is gone seems to last an eternity and a half. The world does by in this agonisingly slow pace, it seems to blur out of focus so his headache is heightened and he can practically hear his head throbbing. He feels so incredibly faint and so horrible he doesn’t know if he’s even here, it’s a nightmarish version of his life that is so surreal and trippy without the promise of a high.

Eventually Peter returns with a cart full of glasses, and passes some to random people in the conference room. Tony thinks about how out of place he looks, but he understands it for him and it makes him love the kid a lot more now. He wheels the cart towards the him, and passes him a glass of cold water that his brain is crying tears of joy for, as well as a oddly folded napkin.

Tony eyes it suspiciously and lifts the fold to reveal two aspirins and all he can do is give Peter the look of pure gratitude and euphoria.

Peter deliberately drops a napkin to crouch down and whisper, “I got them off this really nice lady called Daisy–you owe me one.”

He discreetly pops the pills into his mouth and gives Peter a nod, taking a good sip of his water. He doesn’t normally accept good actions like this so casually, but he lets his pride go because the sense of gratitude and appreciation he feels outweighs any sense of gargantuan ego he has.

And then everything felt like it was going to be fine. ‘Hell yeah I’m gonna make it through this’, Tony thinks proudly, his headache hurts and the cold and hot waves are rushing up and down him in the most uncomfortable way but he can handle this. He can hold on. Things are actually going in his favour for once. Everything is okay in the world.

But then hell breaks loose and Tony’s world is entirely shaken and flipped and nothing is okay.

He doesn’t exactly know what’s happened because his mind is focused solely on not passing out and keeping up a healthy facade, but he thinks Thunderbolt Ross said something that pissed off Fury and they’re yelling and they’re so loud and there’s more voices yelling and it’s all meddling and it’s just too much.

There’s a ringing in his ears and the room is closing in and Tony can hear his heart thumping and he can feel it and the dull roar of the ringing is now a shrill shriek. The lights seem to be fading in and out and the sounds only seem to get louder and everything seems to be heavier and weighing down on him

and Tony is drowning.

Tony swallows hard as his heart races and his breathing shallows and his hands are sweating. He grips the chair hard and tightly and the pressure he’s applying is so much he can feel the skin of his palms straining and his skin burns. He looks around wildly, his lip trembling and he’s shaking and he feels so lost. He feels so sick and his body cannot handle any more and he’s losing control fast and Tony more than anything hates losing control because he feels like he’s floating away and he feels so hauntingly light.

He desperately wants to ground himself and come back because he’s so terrified he’ll float away so far he can never come back. But then his gaze locks upon Peter’s and it’s like he’s grabbed his hand just before he’s fallen off the cliff into nothingness.

And he still feels like he’s teetering off the edge but he’s still here, and as Peter gives him the kindest look he’s ever seen he feels himself being brought back up to the surface slowly but surely. Everything else seems to fade into a dull roar and he focuses his entire entity on to him.

‘Breathe’, Peter mouths, and he begins to breathe in and out slowly and steadily, gesturing for him to follow suit.

Tony nods shakily, and slowly tries to match him. He’s off tempo and he’s rushing, coming in a bit too early but he gets a sense of the rhythm and follows him, never once tearing his gaze, completely locked on him. And he feels safe. He’s still here.

Peter gives him a smile, a proud smile, and Tony’s left wondering what he ever did to deserve such a sweet person in his life.

Peter’s face shifts and he pulls out his phone, pretending to read a text, and it’s really obvious, and the mental note Tony made to teach Peter about stealth seems to climb up quite a bit.

“Uh, guys?” Peter interrupts the chaos that is Shield’s conference room, earning a particularly venomous look from that budget control guy from earlier.

“Yes, Mr.Parker?” Ross sighs.

“Uh, I just got a text from Mr Rhodes and he says he needs myself and Mr Stark like..uh..urgently?” Peter lies.

“Just go,” He brushes off quickly, seemingly uninterested and diving right into his angry tangent.

Peter gestures towards Tony, raising his eyebrows and heading towards the door. Tony follows, the journey a horrendous trek that seemed to leach every single joule of energy remaining in his body. He keeps himself straight and professional, but the moment the doors closed he feels his knees buckling and his body becoming light and his world begin to tilt.

Peter was quicker, his instincts alert and responsive and in a swoop his arm was catching him and pulling him upright, supporting and caring.

“We gotta get you home, Mr.Stark, I’ll call Happy,” Peter suggests, his grip strong but not hurtful in any sense.

“You shouldn’t see me like this,” Tony laments, remorse and shame lacing his words.

“Why not?”

“Your role models shouldn’t be weak.”

Peter is silent for a moment, but he softens, “All my heroes aren’t perfect.”

“Captain America was the scrawny little guy from New York,” Peter explains softly, and chuckles, “Just like me.”

“Dr Banner has some mental health problems. Hawkeye is hard of hearing. Black Widow used to be an assassin. Winter Soldier’s going through some pretty serious trauma, and so is Falcon. The Scarlet Witch worked with Ultron. And Thor..uh, he seems pretty perfect but uh, I’m sure there’s something–oh yeah, he’s got pretty strong emotions he can’t resist sometimes.”

“But my point is.. All my heroes aren’t perfect . And neither are you and that’s okay. It helps me know that I can be somebody too, you know?” Peter says, and looks over at him to give him a reassuring smile that tells him everything will be okay.

“I..didn’t have a lot growing up and seeing that my favourite heroes don’t have everything makes me feel like I can really do something with my life, you know? All I need..is that drive to make the world better, right? So yeah, no, I gotta disagree with you Mr Stark, my role models don’t have to be always strong. They just gotta keep trying.”

Tony can’t help his smile, “The whole world should be like you, kid. Kids like you remind me about why we do this.”

Tony puts a hand on his shoulder and brings him a bit closer, “Now, enough sap talk and let’s get me the hell home.”

#tony stark #peter parker #iron dad #spiderman #iron man #spiderman homecoming #marvel #mcu #sickfic #tw panic attacks #whump #sick tony #fever #hurt/comfort #prompts #marvel cinematic universe

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forgettinggirlinterrpted · 6 years

Text

Sunday 5/6

My roommates name is Shauna. She doesn’t flush and when I got here there was what I can only assume were soiled clothes in a brown paper bag.

A woman in the hall is also talking about her shit. I’m the youngest person here and im afraid to shower, there’s no door. The poop lady is cackling.

My roommate and I talked, she’s nice, and I met her night nurse and she is so nice. Her name is Maria.

I’m having a hard time figuring out why I feel like this. Its hard b/c I’ve been hungover but surely that’s not all it is. How do you recover from a hangover so bad you end up in a psych ward?

It weird not having my phone, I want to check twitter. I don’t want to go to group therapy tomorrow.

I just can’t stop crying, my eyes actually hurt.

My mouth tastes bad but I have no toothpaste.

I started reading this book called notorious nineteen and it is truly trash.

I don’t have the lights on bc Shauna’s sleeping- I feel like Mozart.

My eyes hurt, I might go call my dad again to get my moms phone number.

Ill be back.

Got Taylor’s # and called her/my mom. Maria gave me some antihistamines to try to calm me down/sleep.

My sisters want to come visit me on Tuesday.

I’ve only eaten a donut this morning.

There’s a painting of a window that is 100% mocking me.

I’m sweaty.

Some snaps I would be sending if I had my phone

*a pic of the little card that was on my bed when I came in w/ a number on it for housekeeping. Caption idea-

is this a joke?

It’s a work in progress.

*def a snap of me whipping/nay naying to the woman whose been singing in the hall all night (singer)

Shauna is snoring. There’s no joke there but its absolutely worth noting.

I just want to play candy crush.

Monday

(12:30 pmish) I feel like I’m in a dream. I’ve been sleeping all day- it turns out it was only like 3 hours tops.

I had so many dreams.

I just went and talked to a big ass table of doctors about my life and I just feel so groggy. They’re in there talking about me.

I skipped lunch b/c my tummy hurt so bad after breakfast.

Shauna puked everywhere.

I think she’s leaving.

Also turns out she’s in withdrawal AND pregnant.

And she has an infected injection site on her arm.

I just talked to my mom/dad/Taylor and asked them to bring me some books + shirts.

The nice psychiatrist said she would give me some adavan to calm me down. Also I skipped lunch b/c my stomach hurt so bad from breakfast but now I’m hungry so I guess they’re gonna order me something. I feel so weird. (might have napped here)

4ish pm

40 mg stratera (sp?), one mg atavan.

Finally left my room, I’ve been asleep all day.

Nurse went and got me a coke + a water and I saw they’re watching forgetting Sarah Marshall so I thought Id join. Everyone called me out when I came in since ive been hiding out. Bitches.

Movies suggested by the dude I’m watching FSM w/

- assassin’s creed

-Dogma

10 positive ways to describe myself

1. Legs that go up to my asshole

2. College educated

3. Big heart

4. Good sense of humor

5. Love babies

6. Love my friends

7. Good communicator

8. Love the outside

9. Big smile

10. Lovely family

9 positive coping skills

1. Talk to Taylor

2. Going on walks

3. Calling my parents

4. Reading

5. Going to therapy

6. Doing hw

7. Watching movies

8. Candy crush (questionable)

9. Eating veggies

8 things I’ve accomplished

1. College

2. Getting into grad school

3. Learning Spanish

4. Coming to the hospital

5. Making great friends

6. Moving a lot and making it through

7. Driving to SLC

8. Supporting myself (for the most part)

7 healthy things I can do each day

1. Eat well

2. Shower

3. Talk to my friends

4. Not drink

5. Clean my room

6. Clean my clothes

7. Do my hw

6 things I can change

1. My eating habits

2. Drinking

3. Exercising more

4. Getting a routine

5. Whitening my teeth

6. How I see myself

5 things I can’t change

1. How my family acts

2. How my friends act

3. The status of the US public school system

4. The amount of sunlight in my apt

5. My face

4 reasons I can’t give up

1. My family

2. I’m going to change the world

3. My friends

4. My future students

3 places I can get help

1. w/ dr. whose name I can’t remember

2. my apt (Taylor)

3. the hospital

2 people I can really trust

1. Taylor

2. my parents

1 reason I’m here

1. I need to not feel like this anymore

I’m holding myself back from asking why everyone’s here.

Assassin’s creed guy, also known as biting guy (an inside joke from earlier) and sweater girl are talking about if the food delivery guy has extensions.

We got called to dinner, now were finishing Sarah Marshall.

Biter dude told hair guy “nice hair”.

Oh my god, when peter sings about how much he hates himself, biter and white shirt turned to me and said dang sounds like he’s going to be in the room next o me! way to be self aware guys!

Just called my dad to find out about my stuff getting dropped off but turns out he did 2 hours ago and its all been in my room.

I started crying immediately b/c Taylor is amazing- she brought me the perfect books. It was like she was talking to me through the books.

She gave me b Franks autobiography and Jesse Donaldson’s ‘on homesickness’. And the book Amanda gave me. also wuthering heights and pastures of heaven. All so perfect.

Shirts is roasting the shit out of double lasagna (he ate… double the lasagna we all got for dinner).

He keeps saying he looks like he’s about to give birth

“I mean were already in the hospital we just gotta figure out what floor is maternity”

Wuthering Heights

1801- Mr. Lockwood +Heathcliff

Thrushcross Grange

Double lasagna is talking about the last time he had tequila- brother the last time I drank it I ended up here.

What an anecdote.

“they could have stolen my jewelry or even my virginity!” – about the guys who helped when he got too drunk. Double lasagna’s real name is * but he just introduced himself as Dorothy (to hair the night nurse helper).

Fake Abby (biting guy came to my room thinking I was her) is here and shirt just said “you’re awfully quiet” and she rejected him hard. It was awk.

One of the helpers is just chillin in here w/ us while I read my shitty book and we watch “just go w/ it” – its so bad.

One of the nurses (pony tail) just made me go on a walk down the hall w/ him. They all keep asking me how I’m feeling and I keep saying fine but I’m not. As long as I don’t talk I don’t cry. I’m starting to think I want to stay here longer but also leave right away. Its all so confusing.

Double lasagna just asked hair nurse if he could have his phone out of his bag and the way just looked up from his phone and said “nuh uh” was iconic.

Its 805 pm and I think I’m going see about getting my sleeping pills so I can just crash.

I need to document stuff better tomorrow b/c I don’t like how much of a blur today is.

I finally showered and I feel better I think. I just don’t know what the move is once I get out. Like I don't know how to talk to anyone.

I need Taylor to contact Morgan I think.

I’m sure she’s confused. Or maybe she doesn't care literally at all. Who cares. I’ve been surprised at how easily I’ve been sleeping today especially without my phone and with everything on my mind.

I need a talk therapist like yesterday.

I can’t bring myself to get through any of the books Taylor brought. The 19 book in such trash but it’s easy to read.

The shower needs to be pressed every 45 seconds to say on. I wore shower shoes.

Fake Abby doesn’t know what the move is, I can tell.

I called Taylor + my mom then got snack in my night meds. I mom told me to call back to talk to Mack so I just did. She’s lovely.

Double lasagna somehow talked to snack nurse into giving him a full sandwich. I got a strawberry poptart and a coke.

They’re checking in a new girl now who looks a bit like she’s closer to my age.

I’m happy she’s not my roommate.

I think tomorrow ill try to call family/friends less and trust the process. I need to really take a step back.

I’m just happy I feel comfortable sitting in the sun room. I knew a lot more about movies than they did

Goals for tomorrow-

Check out group

Find rec room/sign my name by Mack’s

Document everything

Keep room clean

They still haven’t cleaned Shauna’s side. Its off putting.

Have I mentioned they check on me every 15 minutes?

Its off putting also.

I wish I had just like some mascara or something. I hate to be that girl but damn.

My mom keeps trying to talk about the funny aspects of this but I can’t say I’m feeling them yet. Today just really was such a blur. I sept a lot then talked to therapists then I think went back to sleep? Then begged for lunch then I think slept? That’s where its fuzzy. Called my fam too much, I need to not tomorrow.

I also want to gain control of tv room tomorrow. Power move!!

Did I mention I called Chelsea? My brain is mush.

- Be more present tomorrow-

- Ask more questions-

be warned: new beginnings are rarely pure, and neither are the men who seek them

On Homesickness pg 23

Scott County

We are homesick most for the places we have never {truly} known

37, Franklin County

Questions to Proteus -> how do I get home? 45, Montgomery County

Tuesday

7:10 am

slept super hard but also had super vivid dreams. Mack and I talked about that last night.

She said she had never brought it up. I was a little restless, prob just bc they were constantly opening my door and eventually just stopped closing it.

I’m just trying to let go of control. I don’t want my phone back. I need to talk to someone about the insane anxiety I feel when I think about home back to the real world.

Even just being in my apartment scares me b/c it feels like its full of negative energy. I need to focus on the good when I get out.

I keep thinking about my phone bill and I can’t remember if I paid for internet. Also the maintenance light is still on in my car.

Even though mom and dad are coming today I need to be communicating less w/ outside world. If I really want to be off the grid I need to really b alone with me thoughts and be okay with it.

I kept feeling for my phone throughout the night.

I wonder what the nurses think of me. do I seem different than everyone else?

I keep finding myself trying to relate to the nurses, esp. the young male one (hair) but what am I trying to prove? That I’m not like everyone here?

Newsflash, asshole, I am

(I’m the asshole)

I need a sharper pencil- do you think a lobotomy joke will be appropriate when I request one orr?

I wonder if Prather has texted me. I’m supposed to sub on the 21st.

Yikes

Not looking forward to checking my bank account. I really spent a lot w/out giving a shit. It was freeing but I also haven’t worked in over a week + a half soooooo.

On homesickness is so dramatic but I love it. Makes me think of Taylor. (bc home, not the drama)

Also I think I’m getting fucking sick. Or, according to Lula (Flula) in 19, I’m getting hospital cooties.

7:27 am

I’m in TV room w/ singer. I asked what we’re watching and she said “some kind of cartoon”. She’s not screaming which is awesome. I’m going to read Wuthering Heights.

Almost 8

Called dad and asked him to bring me a pair of readers since my eyes hurt. Nice nurse #2 is here again. She’s blonde. I haven’t seen Maria again. Met another nurse too. She was young. Also there’s a fake nurse (fake nurses are in teal, like hair, and he real ones are in blue) who I def. know. Cant figure out from where, maybe high school? Either way, not cool with it. Also, they sharpened my pencil.

TIME TBD

Having a hard time focusing on reading. My eyes hut.

I don’t like waiting around.

Is it petty to point out inconsistencies in the rules? There’s different info on different sheets in the packet they gave us. Makes me wonder how closely these patients are reading it. Its all petty though, like whether or not we should take 5 or 10 minutes to use the phone or how many visitors we can have at a time.

I know myself too well, ill be bringing it up. I’m going to check on breakfast.

8:30ish

breakfast was sub par. Sat alone. New girl, sat w/ double lasagna. She only wanted milk so homeboy asked if he could eat hers! Has he learned nothing?? I ate pretty quick; I think I need to go back to sleep. I feel weird.

Time-?

Dr.?? (nice psychiatrist) came in and we talked. Started fine but I got really upset b/c of how much I feel like garbage and I don’t now if I want to be here. But also I don’t want to go back to the real world. She left and I went to go get a visteral 25 mg b/c I’m so upset. They gave it to me and when I got back to my room I 100% had a panic attack.

I felt like I was a kid again. Maybe its b/c I’m here but I’ve never been sure that what it was until now. They happened a lot as a kid and usually ended in my mom holding me and saying everything’s ok. Its so hard not having that now. I left my room and the med student from Sunday was in the hall and he came and talked to me until I calmed down.

With talking to them I finally feel like I’ve been able to verbalize how anxious I feel here along with how I feel about leaving. I just need to rest my eyes for right now, but when I’m up I need to write down what Dr. B said about when I get out.

I miss my parents.

Time unknown

Honestly can’t remember what happened next.

Social worker came in, she’s lovely. Talked a bit then I kept resting.

She gave me some info on how to stay grounded during a panic attack.

Then I think I went to the rec room to do a puzzle but then religion group started. I stuck around but then little dr came to get me and asked if I would meet with big table of doctors even though I hate it.

I did it but it made me upset again. They said they would come talk to me but they haven’t.

I fell asleep again then not Maria nurse came to tell me they’re gonna give me more adavan once my visteral wears off. Fell back asleep then got a drink/ate lunch.

My puzzle got hijacked so I brought a new one into my room. I hit a wall so I stopped to write all this down and go find out what they talked about it my meeting.

I think its around 1 pm.

2pm

Sat and watched how I met your mother for a little. Started crying. Asked a nurse when I was gonna get talked to when little doc came up. they gave me an adavan and now I’m waiting for him to come talk to me. the maid is making up Shauna’s old bed while I sit and cry. Very awk.

I don’t know why I keep crying. I just feel like I’m going to keep having these attacks. I feel so hopeless.

Still sitting here crying. Still no doctor.

My name is Abigail and I am safe. I am in the present and I am safe.

~505

lil doc came to talk to me and I got upset. I don’t understand what my next move is.

Just slept pretty hard until now then got dinner. Going back to sleep is very tempting.

I think I’m allowed another pill. What’s the point?

6:50 pm

I honestly don’t know what I’ve been doing since after dinner. I’ve been doing the puzzle in the TV room. I’ve been watching the office. I asked nice nurse if I could have another pill but she’s pretty sure she cane until its time for bed. My anxiety is pretty high right now my parents will be here in like an hour.

7 pm

officially been hoarding pencils. They say I can have an atavan at 10 pm for bed, but they gave me a V. im wondering if that’s going to help me sleep. They’re going to put me on abilify on top of my startera. I’m hoping they’ll give me some of this visteril to take home in case I start to freak.

Decided that in order to help me not get stressed I want someone to take my phone and ask me one by one about who texted/called/emailed and help me deal with it. Same w/ my bank statement.

I want to say I feel better, but I don’t know. Its just all a blur.

I want to see m parents so I can find out what the move is when I get out. Maybe a meeting with Andrea and social working and one of them would be cool.

I don’t want to get out after Taylor leaves. Fuck.

Double lasagna and biter left.

* is still here, and fake Abby is MIA.

New girl who I don’t know

New guy Brandon- wears vans

And tad who Mack warned me about. Apparently he called 911 on the nurses from the phones.

Bold move.

Fake Abby and I are friends. I think she’s lonely, I know she wants to be my roommate, but I can’t deal with that.

Now I just kill time until mom gets here.

930 ish?

Mom and dad came and I feel a bit better. Mom and I did our crossword puzzle and dad and I figured out grad school. I also had him assure me I don’t need to worry about $ right now.

I asked for a pen but they said no. but I STOLE ONE FROM MY DAD!!

Honestly its low on ink but just having it feels great.

Just called my mom and said goodnight to Mack. I feel ok. Mostly just shook b/c of how much of a dream this all feels like. But I’m ok. Time to crossword and eat my poptart like the star patient I am. And I’m gonna do it in god damn pen!

Goals for tomorrow-

- track when all meds taken

- get better at checking time

8am

slept like shit. But I think I might go home today?! I’m sick so my head fucking hurts. I dontknow what to think. I just want to sleep in my own bed.

11am

talked to dr. B + some of the team and I think I’ll just stay another night. It was hard for me to think of what I wanted to b/c I just woke up. but she made a good point that if I’m sick and drowsy it could be good to stay since they’ll change the time I get the abilify. I don’t know. Just very tired.

1109

Watching fresh prince. Thought there was gonna be group in here, but so far nothing. Fuck this.

Fake Abby told shirt he looks like Carlton and no shit he kind of does. He deadass did the dance while he was walking out. He thinks side burns were cool. Now singer is singing Elvis songs.

Newer girl is even scarier she’s very touchy. Seems like she doesn’t listen.

singer is standing directly in front of the tv. She threatened to fire the nurse that told her to stop.

Shirt is leaving today.

New girl just came in and snatched the stuff out of singer’s hands and then tried to talk to everyone. Now singer is out for blood. New girl is wild.

1140

going to lay in bed until lunch.

~12

slept a little until lunch. Hamburger and a coke.

I’m def staying another night. Thinking of some ideas for pickup since I need someone to go back to my apt w/ me.

I think that’s the move. And then if its horrible I can try to stay somewhere else. I’m thinking of asking my sisters. Idk. Might call some of them now.

I’m really just waiting to get something for my cough.

215

just slept super hard

even denied taking my cough meds so I could sleep more

I finally got into the rec room and unsurprisingly it was a disappointment.

Couldn’t find macks mark so I left.

Gonna go try to get more crossword

255

just called Chelsea, she said she would try to come over after work/talk to liv about doing the same. I just want to take a real shower.

Crazy Tad just said hi to me.

New girl (maid) is asleep sitting up, we’re watching that 70’s show.

My shirt smells like Keenan.

Also its almost snack!

Hmmmmm 4?

took a shower after smashing a poptart. The sheets they gave me to use as a bathmat smells like actual piss and shit- maybe I shouldn’t have wrapped myself in it.

A little before 5

Slept again. Got woken up for dinner. It was ok. God I’m so fucking tired.

I’m glad I’m writing everything down b/c its all such a blur.

Cant remember if I already wrong down that I talked to chels. I want help meal prepping and doing some laundry. Also someone to sleep over. I want my own bed, but I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want my phone. I don’t know what good anyone can do me right now until my meds get figured out. I don’t know!!

I met my new nurse, DD, who said I’m taking my abilify in an hour. Then I want my sleeping pills so I can konk out, ugh.

Time to lay down. Again.

I think I fell asleep again?

Went to get my abilify around 615. Panic attack happened again.

I can’t stop crying and I don’t want to be here anymore w/out talking to someone about all my regrets.

I think more than anything I’m really disappointed with how this whole thing is going down.

Just want to stop crying.

830 pm

calmed down. Kind of okay w/ leaving but also so anxious.

844

Singer has 12 different personalities.

About to go ask for my meds/follow up on what’s up w/ the nurse’s research

9ish

Ate a poptart. Nurse was doing meds so she hasn’t looked into anything. Took 2 hydroxizines (50 mg) + a 3 mg melatonin. Called dad, still not a grad student. Very frustrating. Everything sucks but its ok bc I am Abigail Nash and I am safe in the present. I am not in the past. The present. And there are people that love me.

Thursday

- if… because then

- one day at a time

9 am?

Had breakfast, found out I’m going home today.

Called mom + dad, and mom is gonna pick me up around 5

2 more free meals!

Getting a therapist is going to take a minute but I feel ok about it

Nurse Nadine is so sweet.

These people are getting the wildest thank you cards later.

930

I’m going to get a watch

I don’t like not always knowing the time

That fucking short haired nurse came in again and gave me shit for being in my room

Don’t know her name

But I don’t want to

I’m getting out here short haired lady! And I’m pulling out to win!

I’m getting sleepy, fuck

I have like 8 hours to kill

Soooo

Suddenly now that I know I’m getting out I feel like some kind of bubble has been burst and I feel semi normal

Am I really the Angelina Jolie of this place? Not actually Angelina, but her character from Girl Interrupted?

She’s hot in that too, though.

Final thoughts for now- RIP Brittany Murphy.

925

group- only going because nurse Nadine is leading it.

Tad gave a very sweet little speech about his dad

Grabby girl wouldn’t share, she it nuts

But now miss congeniality is on!!

1055

cute rec therapist let me into the rec room. I wrote

SCABZ

In big letters on the table, and made a picture frame. Also played ping pong with grabby. I’m not even going to go into how that went.

Update: grabby thinks I’m her mom

My best gift:

The gift of travel. Travel in the sense of moving, traveling to see a friend, or a friend traveling to see me. travel has allowed me to maintain friendships w/ people I usually wouldn’t. Another gift coming from travel is my best friend, Taylor who traveled to another state for school, where I met her. And the gift of going to visit my best friend in France a few years ago who I’ve known since I was 9.

~~~~ when the party is at it’s best, it’s time to leave the party ~~~~

- Tad’s ex-father-in-law

almost noon

Tad (ok turns out its not the Tad Mack was talking about) said some really good stuff in group and when he was talking about finding balance I said, “like the yin for your yang?” and he did not know what I was really talking about but it fit into the convo really well. So I started to draw him one and when it was over I gave it to him and he was really touched. I feel really good about it. It sucks I’m just now getting to go to group but I think my meds might be working b/c I haven’t gone back to sleep yet.

Also, they said I could keep 19!

I need to get some books together to donate. And some puzzles.

After lunch

Pulled pork. Singer change the channel on TV to cartoons. I see a nap in my future. Also brushing my teeth.

There’s a new kid, he’s gotta be newly 18 b/c he looks young.

Tried playing monopoly w/ Tad, maid, and new guy, but it devolved.

Thought he was cute but he might be nuts (shocker)

I said he was welcome to my books and he looks a mans search for meaning and I’m about to leave so I don’t think im getting it back.

Amanda wrote a nice note in it. That sucks. I gotta stop being so nice.

I asked them to give me a visterile and they did. I should be ready to rock when mom gets here.

430

did more painting- made a weird sign for door knobs. No sign of homeboy + my book. I kind of don’t want to leave, but I refuse to let myself have fomo in a place like this. Idk what the move is for my book. He better be reading it. I don’t want to leave before dinner so he can at least have a chance to say something to me about it.

Tad is really fun to hang out w/. he is really nice. We talked about grounding during panic attacks and he invited me to play monopoly and we talked about how it sucks that we all just started talking to each other but that’s also prob just a sign that the meds are working.

I saw he put my yin yang in the front of his journal. Very sweet.

This isn’t to say he isn’t totally nuts. Also, young guy said my voice reminded me of “stuff” what the fuck.

Grabber called me mom and tried to give me her hand.

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strangerstuffandthingsimagines · 6 years

Text

Pretty When You Cry (Steve Harrington x Reader)

Request: I was wondering if you can write something involving a Mexican (or Latina in general) girl who just moved to Hawkins with her family? Maybe she’s nervous about truly being the minority in the town bc everyone from her old neighbourhood was Mexican/Hispanic? Carol or Tommy or someone can be a dick to her and possibly say something about her needing to speak English while she’s there and Steve (or Billy) puts a stop to that shit fast. I hope this is okay for you to do!

Warnings: Bigotry/Ignorance regarding race and culture (Tommy and Carol are assholes)

A/N: I smiled so wide when I got this request, my best friend is Mexican and I love hearing about her culture. Feel free to request prompts like this, diversity is a beautiful thing! ALSO I’m so sorry if the translations aren’t perfect, I tried to find the best sources for the phrases I wanted to use.

I’m off to bed, I will revise and edit spelling in the morning! sorry if there are any mistakes.

Song I listened to while I wrote : Ariana Grande - Into you 80′s Remix

Hawkins was a small town in the mid west, not exactly an ideal place to live compared to your old neighbourhood. You nervously looked at the other students who were scattered around the front of the school, your heart sank as you couldn’t spot a single person that looked like you. Your old neighbourhood was full of Mexican culture and the people were so warm and welcoming, polar opposite to this place you were now forced to call home.

Your Father pulled up in front of your new school, the small pine air freshener swayed from the rear view mirror where it hung, you reached up to steady it as it began to irritate you.

“Alright Mijia, have a good day at school.” Your father said with a kind smile. “I’m sorry I can’t pick you up after school, but the walk isn’t too far from home.”

You nodded, leaning over to give his cheek a quick peck before hesitantly unlocking the door.

“Qué te vaya bien!” Your father yelled out to you, wishing you luck in Spanish, which was usually a comfort but when the other students all turned to look, you felt sick to your stomach.

You followed after the vice principal as they led you toward your first class, after they had showed you to your locker of course.

You hid as best as you could behind him as he knocked on the classroom door before letting himself in. Squeezing your eyes tightly, you held your breath as your stomach buzzed with nerves. You let out a slow exhale as you opened your eyes and walked in after the VP.

“How nice to meet you!” the teacher greeted, a phoney smile plastered on her face. “Y/N, is it?”

You nodded, the Vice principal giving you a pat on the shoulder as he left.

“And where are you from?” she asked causing you to die internally. All you wanted to do was get to an empty seat, preferably in the back and just coast through the day undetected.

Your eyes darted between the teacher and the window, books clasped tightly to your chest.

“San Diego...uh Barrio Logan, San Diego.” You said before quickly clarifying, the eyes of the class burned into you.

“Well, I hope you enjoy Hawkins and settle in well.” she said, her lips pressed into a tight smile, gesturing for you to find a seat.

You gave a slight nod, your shoulders rising as you took in a deep inhale, turning toward the students. You scanned for an empty seat, seeing a few in the mid section near the windows. You quickly made your way between the rows of desks, your heart skipping as your foot caught on something.

An arm reached out and caught you, the boy half out of his desk due to his quick thinking.

“Woah, you okay?”He asked, getting up to steady himself and you.

You were surprised to see his face, bruises and scabs along his lip and brow bone, his nose was split as well. Despite the wounds that masked his face, his features were handsome and his eyes kind.

You gaped at him, before shaking your head quickly to bring you back into the moment. “Yeah, thanks.”

Class was nearly over and your hand feverishly moved across the paper, jotting down notes as your teacher went through the slides faster than you were use to.

You figured out that a red headed girl named Carol had tripped you. Throughout class she and a brunette boy gave you looks and whisper to one another. You tried to think of a reason, any reason at all, for them to dislike you but there wasn’t a damn thing you could have possibly done.

The bell finally rang, you found solace in the sound that freed you from the hell hole that was homeroom. You clambered to collect your things and shove them into your bag as fast as you could.

Lunch time rolled around, you waited in line to order your lunch. You nervously bit your bottom lip as the line shuffled on. You gave the menu a quick look trying to decide if your pick the “meatloaf delight” or “mystery soup”, you decided on the latter assuming it was your safest bet.

“What can I get for you?” The lunch lady asked bleakly.

“Um, the soup please.” You replied, tapping your nail against the tray in your hands.

The lunch lady placed the styrofoam bowl filled with an odd coloured “soup” on your tray, along with a spongey brownie and a carton of milk.

“Gracias.” You said thanking her, not realizing you had spoke in Spanish. Majority of students and staff at your old school in Barrio Logan were of spanish speaking background, it was second nature to you.

The lunch lady perked up at your words, even offering you a smile.

“ No hay de qué.“ she replied, wrinkles forming around her eyes as she grinned.

You saw that her name tag read “Josefina”, your eyes lit up as she shared the same name as your grandmother.

“Eres Mexicano?” you asked, earning a happy nod from the woman.

“Excuse me, but we speak english in America.” someone snarled from behind you. You turned around to see the same faces that had bothered you this morning. You looked at down, not wanting to confront the two.

“Yeah, go speak Mexican somewhere else, like your own country.” Carol added, her eyes narrowed in a mean glare and her arms folded across her chest.

You vision blurred, your shoes turning into fuzzy shapes. Thee tip of your nose burned as you fought off the tears that filled your eyes.

“Its Spanish.” Steve piped in, his body now between you and the two who had been harassing you. “Mexican isn’t a language you fucking assholes.”

You abandoned your tray and made a dash for the exit, using every ounce of will power you had to hold back your tears.

Steve spent 20 minutes searching for you, ignoring the warning bell signalling third period starting. Almost ready to give up, assuming you had gone to class, he noticed a slight draft coming from down the hall. He made his way over toward the back door, remembering it tended to catch and stay open if you swing it open to hard.

You sat against the back wall, knees brought to your chest and your arms folded on top. You shoulders shook as you sobbed into you arms, too busy crying to realize someone had sat next to you.

“Hey.” Steve said gently, watching as you froze, face hidden from his concerned gaze.

You slowly brought your head up, sniffling to yourself.

“Hi.” you choked out, wiping your cheeks off with your sleeve.

“You okay?” he asked, carefully tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear.

You moved your head side to side, feeling a sob creep up and into your throat.

“I don’t know what I did wrong.” you admitted, looking at Steve who returned a sympathetic look.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” he assured you. “Their the problem.”

“Thanks...for everything. You didn’t have to do that, but I’m glad you did.” You said thanking him. “I guess this town isn’t completely made up of assholes.”

You let out a groan, hiding your face in your hands.

“I must look so gross,” you said, embarrassed as you imagined what you must have looked like.

“No, don’t say that. You look pretty when you cry.” Steve complimented, making your heart race.

“I’m Steve by the way.” he offered.

“Y/N” you said taking his hand in yours.

Steve stood up after a while and helped you to your feet, he let out a stretch causing you to blush as his shirt lifted exposing his skin.

“Want a ride home?” he asked, raising an eyebrow to you.

“Are you sure? I can walk, really you don’t need to do that for me.” You rambled on.

“Don’t be silly, it’s no problem,” he said, waving for you to come with him.

You finally gave in, your lips pulled into a shy smile.

“Thanks, Steve.”

A/N: Ahh I really fell in love with this request, I hope the anon likes it! If you guys would like, I’d be more than happy to make a part 2

#steve harrington x reader #stranger things imagine #SSATSteve #steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things 2 imagine #stranger things 2

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commander-yinello · 6 years

Note

I really hope u take requests and u like mine, we will see 🙈 so i thought about a business trip to an other country (idc wich country it will be) and Zen being dragged into going with him (maybe the meeting is with a famous actor and bc he has connections jumin thought he could drag him with him) and they are stuck in the elevator for like 3 hours in the hotel and its completely dark. Zen freakes out and jumin will kiss him so he can calm him down :) hope thats good i would like to read it ^^

This is so cute! I loved it so that the drabble became a lot longer than I expected whoops >_> It’s a bit of a feels trip, I hope this comes anywhere close to what you were expecting!

Jumin wasunfortunately well acquainted with elevators refusing to work when he was inthem. Many meetings were held in tall office buildings or hotels, and two outof nine times the devil’s contraption would insist on trapping him in betweentwo floors of its choice. The last time he had spent four hours with theheiress of a perfume industry. Needless to say, he appreciated the smell offresh air after that.

This time, thecompany he was locked up with didn’t bother him. On the contrary, he dared toadmit it was quite pleasant, as he watched Zen fidget with his coat endlessly,staring at the glowing alarm button on top of the speaker, in the hopes someonewould tell them they’d be freed soon.

Zen pushedthe button next to the hotel elevator door once more, receiving once again noreaction.

“Help is notgoing to arrive sooner,” Jumin said.

“Shut up,”Zen grumbled. Jumin sighed.

After anotherterse minute, Zen leaned against the wall with his head, covering his face withhis hands. “God, I hate this.”

“Why areyou so tense?” Jumin didn’t understand. Help would come, no matter what.

The actorcrossed his arms to glare at the ceiling. “I like wide open spaces. I likebeing free to go where I want whenever I want. Being stuck is shit.”

He rememberedZen’s secret spot. The lookout over the vast city of Seoul had indeed beenbreathtaking. Strange, he couldn’t recall how it looked like, only remembering Zen’ssmile in the light of the setting sun.

Thequestion that had been on his mind for a while now finally made its way out. “Whydid you agree to come? The economical heart of Beijing is exactly the oppositeof your preferences.”

Zen shothim a quick glance. “Because you asked and if I said no you will endlessly pesterme about it.”

That madehim raise an eyebrow. “That never stopped you from refusing.” What befell Zento agree to the cat commercial he would never know, but the actor had beendetermined to do it. He insisted on it, even after Jumin offered him an alternative.A matter of pride, the commercial had been. The trip wasn’t similar.

Zen fellquiet, frowning in thought.

Juminstarted to feel nervous. Did Zen agree to the trip because of some misguidedduty towards him? Did the actor think he owed Jumin for helping him out withthe Echo Girl incident?

That didn’tsit well with him at all.

“Once we’refreed, I can arrange for you to take the first flight back to Korea.” He wouldask Assistant Kang to add in a clause in the cat commercial contract that Zencan drop it at any moment’s notice.

Zen stoppedleaning against the wall, giving him a confused look. “What are you going onabout?”

“There’s noneed to return the favor, handling Echo Girl helped the entire RFA as well.”

Redeyes widened as Zen bristled at the words said. “Listen Jerkmin, I want to dothis. It’s hard to believe, I know – even I don’t believe it sometimes – but I’mnot doing it because I think I owe you. I’m already mentally preparing myselffor the cat commercial.” He acted like he had to sneeze at the mention of theword cat, though Jumin knew now it was mostly dramatics.

“So why?” Jumin pushed. He really needed toknow.

“Because! Because,eh…” Zen stammered, suddenly fascinated by a loose carpet thread next to his shoe.“Because.”

“Because?”

Zen avoidedhis gaze on purpose. “Never mind, it doesn’t matter.”

“Zen, tellme.” He nearly yelled. He was going to jump out of his skin if Zen kept avoidingthe question.

Half a minutepassed, before the actor groaned in frustration and finally looked back up athim. “Because… of you.”

Jumin’sheart skipped a beat.

“I reallyappreciated you finding me and giving me courage again,” Zen continued. “Thisisn’t about repaying a favor, or about doing things for someone who helped mein my darkest time. It’s about spending time with… a friend. Sort of.”

Somethingabout the way Zen said it struck Jumin as odd. It felt like Zen himself wasn’tsure why he was doing this. “Did I really help you that much?”

That loosethread was once again the focus of Zen’s attention.

Jumin wasabout to press on, when the sound of something buzzing caused the lights toflicker. The buzzing abruptly ended, and all became dark. It was startling how Jumincouldn’t even see his own hand anymore, holding tightly to the metal railing onthe elevator wall.

“Shit!Jumin!” Zen called out, tone pitched higher than normal.

“I’m stillhere.” Keeping his hand on the railing, he moved towards Zen’s location. Hisarm got abruptly grabbed and it took all Jumin’s willpower to push down hisdefensive instincts, letting warm hands grasp his sleeve tight.

Were itanyone else, Jumin would have kindly requested that they release him. Now he stoppedhimself from getting any closer, whether it was to comfort Zen or himself he wasn’t sure.

“There’s noneed to worry. I’m sure this affects the whole building; someone must beworking on it.”

“Yes, Iknow damn it!” Zen swore.

His eyesslowly adjusted, allowing him to see a little. Zen’s hair formed a glowingsilhouette, a lone source of light surrounded by never-ending darkness. Itreminded him of his Elizabeth when he would wake early on a cold winter morning,her beautiful form lying next to his pillow. He fought down the urge to run hishand through the white locks.

“I feellike a teenager again, when my gang locked me in the bar bathroom and turnedoff the lights to haze me,” Zen laughed, an attempt to sound brave but hisvoice wavered. “I was supposed to free myself, but I couldn’t figure out how; Ithought I was going to die there, in the darkness.”

Jumin madea mental note to look up Zen’s old gang members and have them all arrested.

“It was thebartender who rescued me, because she forgot her keys and heard me calling forhelp,” Zen continued. “I was so ashamed, I didn’t tell the gang. The bartenderdid offer me a kiss to make me feel better, which was cute.”

It hit Juminthat Zen was sharing something this intimate because he was trying to distracthimself. A daring question floated to the top of his mind and left his mouth beforehe could stop. “Do you want me to kiss you to make you feel better?”

“D-dude!”Zen sputtered. The fingers around his sleeve tightened a tiny bit, but he feltit.

It wasn’t arefusal. Just like when Jumin asked if Zen had any feelings for him, and Zen avoidedthat as well.

“…Do you?” heasked again, throat tightening from the heavy implication of what he wasasking. What he was implying. Thiswasn’t a joke anymore.

White hair shifted,and Zen’s pale face came into view, the white of his eyes standing out. Theyreally didn’t differ that much in height, Jumin randomly thought. He would havegiven anything to see properly see the expression on the actor’s face.

There wasonly silence, disrupted by the loud pounding of his heart and their unevenbreathing. Jumin wondered if he should apologize, when he felt warm breathtickle his skin. White hair moved closer, eyes blurred from their shortdistance.

“Zen-“ Juminstarted, and stopped himself. He wanted to ask the question again, but found himselfleaning forward. Smooth lips ghosted over his own chapped ones and he knew. Heknew he was crossing a line.

But Zen didn’tpull away. The gap was so easily closed.

He neverunderstood how a kiss could be romantic. Two people mashing their mouthstogether couldn’t be satisfying. It made his father’s constant skirt-chasingeven more ridiculous.

But Zen’s lipswere soft, yet pushed back hard with a need that brought their faces closer. Warm,so warm that he wanted to feel them forever. All thoughts left his mind,allowing him to focus on this feeling alone.

That’s whenall the lights turned back on.

The suddenlight was blinding, forcing Zen to pull away with a hiss and Jumin too had toclose his eyes, spots dancing in his vision.

“Our mostsincere apologies for the wait,” A tin voice spoke out in Chinese through thespeakers. “The elevator will start in a moment’s notice.”

As ifmagically timed, the elevator started to rumble and moved up towards theirdestination. Zen let go of his arm, leaving Jumin feel oddly empty.

Theelevator dinged after it passed every floor. Jumin watched Zen in the corner ofhis eyes, who didn’t say anything either.

“We have room17 and 18, which room would you prefer?” Jumin asked, trying to get back ontrack when his mind raced all over the place.

“Yes.”

Zen’sunusual answer had him turning his head. Zen’s face was bright pink, and he gingerlytraced his bottom lip. It stirred something primal within him.

“Yourearlier question. Yes. I do want…” Zen blushed even deeper, not finishing hissentence, his gaze fixated on Jumin.

Jumin’sfeet had a will of their own.

In a fewseconds, they would have to apologize to the couple who saw them when the doorsopened on their destined floor.

#juzen #zumin #jumin x zen #mystic messenger #this was a great way to add Zen's gang life into the mix #thank you cloudparadise #juminzen #fanfic #drabble #fanfiction

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sept-dix · 7 years

Text

soulmate! au (bae jinyoung)

summary: soulmate! au with baejin in which he’s still an idol who’s part of wanna one a/n: requested

so how it works is that soulmates share emotions

kind of

whenever your soulmate is feeling any type of extreme emotion, you feel it too

and vice versa

and apparently, according to everyone around you who had already met their own soulmates, you’ll just know when you meet yours?

apparently you’re supposed to feel like a rush of a range of emotions when you meet them for the first time, and you just know in your heart that you’ve met them

or whatever

sounds kinda sketchy to you but ok

anyways the one thing you’re thankful for is that whoever your soulmate was seemed to be relatively emotionless lol

he seemed to rarely feel any type of way extremely enough that you felt it too

most of the time growing up, you’d just feel a random sense of joy now and then

of course there were times when he got sad and angry too but those times were rare

but tbh you kind of felt bad for him bc although you were generally an optimistic and happy person, you’re also super short-tempered

so there must have been times when your soulmate who was having a perfectly good and happy day must have gotten fricking irritated out of nowhere

so you always make a mental note to yourself to apologise to him when you two finally meet lol

ok anyways things were going smoothly for about the first 15 years of your life

until suddenly you started to feel super down all the time?

like on some days you’d be going to school, doing your work, hanging out with your friends, doing whatever you usually do but there’d always be this dull ache and sort of.. hopelessness? at the back of your mind

it started out with you feeling this way for like 1 or 2 days in a few weeks but the frequency started increasing to the point where you were feeling like this almost every other day

the reason why you were feeling this way should have been obvious to you but for some reason you just couldn’t figure it out

guess it’s like how people sometimes miss what’s right under their nose

you try to think of reasons why you were feeling this way because honestly everything in your life was going relatively fine and you weren’t particularly having any big problems

you were having a particularly bad day once when you were hanging out with your friends and they notice

so they start asking you about it and once you confess that you have no idea why you’re so lost

they’re like “omg y/n... it’s obvious isn’t it? it’s your soulmate”

and it suddenly hits you and you’re like oh wtf....

and you get a little overwhelmed bc for some reason you’re thinking about how if you were already feeling so low all the time, your soulmate who was the actual person feeling the full force of the emotions must be going through such a hard time

what’s he going through that makes almost every other day so confusing and hard for him? assuming he’s around your age, he’s kinda young to have gone through anything too horrible

the thought breaks your heart

in fact you somehow feel so bad for him that you start tearing up

your friends are like oh y/n :((((

one thing you hate about all this though is that sometimes your own emotions get buried under your soulmates’

like now and then you feel sad or down because of your own life but because your soulmate was feeling that way pretty often you don’t even know whether you’re the one who’s sad or if it’s your soulmate

and this means you can’t even take care of yourself properly

the inherent flaw in the system tskkk

anyways after a few days one of your friends invites all of you over to her house to like hang out

and one of your friends is having a super bad day bc of her soulmate

wtf this kind of thing makes you hate the soulmate system so much because if one person is already sad then why does the universe have to double the feeling and increase the negativity index in the world? smh

in fact you’re so angry about it that you tell yourself to calm down bc if not your soulmate’s gonna feel it lol

so in order to cheer up your friend your other friend suggests you guys watch the second season of produce 101 which had started airing a while ago

and you’re all eager to agree bc y’all loved the first season

so you guys marathon the first few episodes of broduce and even from the first episode you have your eyes set on the mmo boys

i mean how could you not they are literally talking every five seconds

and their performance of A is not too bad and you’re especially interested in the guy with the pink hair like you think he dances super well

so this means that while watching the show you should be most affected by daniel right since you’re the most impressed by him?

wronggg

there’s this other trainee called baejin who looks super shy and anxious throughout the first few episodes and for some reason your heart breaks every time they show him struggling

like you empathise with him so much that you feel like you almost know exactly how he must feel?

you don’t even know much about this guy but you can tell how unsure and hesitant he is

as the weeks pass it becomes a tradition for you and your friends to come together every friday night and watch broduce together (where can i get friends like these lol)

you’re kind of surprised because in the episode where daniel gets ranked last in his sorry sorry team and the disappointment shines through in his eyes despite his smile

you’re more concerned and curious about what’s gonna happen to baejin

so like although you claim to your friends that daniel is your one pick they all know that it’s baejin lmao

as the episodes pass you are sooo glad and proud to see him gaining confidence

when you guys are watching the final episode and baejin is the center for hands on me you actually cRY because of how happy and proud you are

and when it’s announced that he’s going to debut? there are no words to explain how happy and relieved you are bc ur FAV MADE IT!!!

but as you’re watching the ending moments of the last episode and it’s late into the night and all your friends including yourself are sobbing messes

suddenly there’s a thought that sneaks its way into your mind

tbh you weren’t really feeling all sad and low recently? especially in the past few weeks

and it’s just that of course all of you guys were pretty emo about broduce but you were so particularly invested and focused on baejin

and considering the fact that you weren’t one to get so emotional about stuff like survival shows

you feel like it’s almost as if,,,,,,

never mind, you shut yourself up before you can even entertain the thought because it’s a ridiculous one and your friends would probably laugh at you if you voiced it out loud

so you just let it go and cry happy tears for baejin that night and a little bit more for your original fav daniel who has risen to the status of a king and a little more sad tears for jonghyun & the rest

anyways so yeah the days go on as usual after that and you get so busy with school stuff that you don’t really have time to pay too much attention to wanna one stuff

so like around a month later you’re with your friends as always hanging out when one of your friends is like

“hey guys i think wanna one just released their debut mv wanna watch”

and you guys are like hell yeah

so you watch

and the thing is??? you haven’t seen baejin for so long despite being so attached to him bc you’re so busy but the moment he appears on the screen again you’re so overwhelmed bc wtHECK you love this boy

you’re so happy watching them at their debut showcon

and you’re like wow i’m gonna be this boy’s fan forever he’s so talented and amazing and handsome and funny etc etc etc the list goes on 4ever

but as you’re thinking that there’s the other thought creeping into your mind again and you’re troubled

you think about it for a while

and decide that the only way to understand it is if you could meet him

which is nearly impossible because he’s a fricking superstar

but,,, they’re having their first fansign soon and although you don’t have enough money to like buy hundreds of albums to guarantee yourself a spot in it

you decide that maybe you could apply with just one album

if you got in, then it was the universe trying to make something happen

sounds kinda stupid and highly unlikely even to you but you have nothing to lose so you buy that album

((you get daehwi’s photocard lmao))

when the announcement for who got in is up you’re super anxious and you open the website and ???!!!!!

!?!?!!??!

your name is there??!!

you have to rub your eyes and squint a little to make sure that you’re not hallucinating but yes, your name is right there

you are overwhelmed to say the least

like you had no idea what to make of this because??? you literally bought ONE album?????? this has to be a joke

you know you should be grateful and thanking the lords for the miracle because that’s what this was - a damn miracle

and beyond that you’d never actually expected to make it this far but now that you’re here you have no idea what to do next

like you’re Actually gonna be meeting baejin (at the back of ur mind you’re kinda feeling lightheaded at the thought of daniel up close but mmm yeah)

and you want time to slow down so you can slowly plan everything out but of course not

time moves the fastest when you want it to pause

so when the day comes you spend like 3 whole hours getting ready with the help of your friends who are screaming at you because they can’t believe your luck

you don’t dare to tell them the actual reason behind why you applied bc you’re embarrassed lol

but anyways everything else passes in a blur and before you know it you’re inside the tiny fansign venue and the 11 members are right there in front of you

you purposely avoid looking at baejin bc it makes you super anxious and you’re afraid to do it but you do get a little distracted from your original intentions by the other members lol

after all you were a fan of them all

soon you’re queuing up to go talk to them and baejin is towards the middle of the members

you don’t even remember what you talked about with the first few members but once you get to baejin

and look at him

and he looks up at you and says hi?

you

are

floored

for a fleeting second you wonder if this was the feeling of being starstruck

but you look at him and..,,

why does he look starstruck too

“hi! what’s your name?”

he manages out after a second but his voice is kinda shaky and his wide eyes stay on yours

and you try to reply him but you can’t because your voice has run away

and after a second he just puts down the marker and looks at you with his eyes full of so many different emotions

and as cliched as it sounds, in that moment you know

after a few moments of silence you somehow manage to choke out your name

and baejin somehow manages to write it out and sign your album

just as he finishes signing and opens his mouth as if to finally say something, the security behind him looks over and gestures for you to move on to the next member

and your mind is telling your feet to move but somehow you stay rooted to the spot looking at baejin who looks like he has so many things to say

but in the end the security ends up asking you to move again and this time you do

you can’t say anything to the rest of the members because you are sooo conflicted like first of all??? baejin

second of all?? was this the end? you hadn’t even managed to say anything to him

so the rest of the time is a daze and the reality only hits you when you’re back at your seat

and you see him looking at your direction several times

you’re panicking though because you’ve missed your only chance to talk to him so how is anything gonna work out after this?

but suddenly you remember what your mother always told you about these things

if it’s meant to happen, it’ll happen. the universe will find a way to make it happen

surely enough, when the fansign wraps up and everyone leaves

you’ve just stepped out of the door when a burly big man comes towards you

“excuse me, is this y/n?”

one second you’re lowkey scared but you nod anyway

“i’m sorry, could you come back in for a second? bae jinyoung asked for you. i believe it’s something important”

drop me an ask or message me to tell me what u think! thank uuuu for reading <3

ps requests are open

#bae jinyoung #bae jinyoung scenarios #bae jinyoung imagines #wanna one #wanna one imagines #wanna one scenarios #produce 101 scenarios #produce 101 #produce 101 imagiens #p101 #kang daniel

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