#just as sucessful. which i know the point of the show is they all went to community college and were a failure of some sort but like cmon | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cmiray · 2 months

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*crickets*

would it even be me if I wasn't very late to the party

when did you join ? what made you join ? what do you remember from the plotlines that were current at the time ? where were you in life when you joined and where are you now ?

I believe it was the end of 2016, but I havent been able to find Lis original blog in a bit to double check. At the time I joined I hadn't roleplayed in forever, and was just getting over my first break up and needed a distraction. I had found chambord around before but never joined it. I believe I first saw chambord when I went back to an old rp blog and someone from that group had been using their blog for chambord. Even in Hshq i was not known for my consistency in activity but honestly this rp was the longest period I ever wrote anything. From highschool through university to now being almost done with my masters in a whole fucking continent is trully insane. This rp saw me through most of my 20's and the last of my teens. That's crazy.

which characters have you written over the years ?

Oh god, so fucking many. I know I will forget some. Lis will forever have a specially place in my heart. She went through so many changes but she was always a fucking mess and I love her for it. I'm not sure how long it would have taken all 3 of her iterations to be happy but she would be fighting tooth and nail the whole time against it I'm sure. You can not say she was not determined (to be fucking miserable).

I loved all of Lis's versions, and I tried to keep her core the same but I'm not sure if that sucessed. She came from very different backgrounds and was in so many different situations. I will never forget that original Arnauld murdered their parents in cold blood just for that crown.

Lisvent was so so fun and I was so happy when Hailee came up with him. As many have said in the past my like for Levente showed up to much in Lis by the end. I don't know if they would have found civility at any point, but maybe Lis would have grown cold and mean and meet him halfway. This Lis was much harder to write as sad and misserable because the spanish were such a - not functional maybe but loving family. It's hard to be the saddest gay when your sister loves you i guess?

The last Lis was probably the most deranged. I do not regret her though, but I think she had straid to much away from what Lis was at her core. She was older, and much more manipulative and I think i never quite got her right. but her and Stela were very fun while they lasted <3

Miray <3 my sweet. I do regreat I never finished her bad bitch transformation. But at least her and Hafiz made up and were happy by the end of their days together. Who would have through. I like to believe by now her and Layla would have made up too because anything else would be to painful. Daisuke is still on thin ice however. She will forever be Aslan's first born, and I think this fight at the end just shows that. She was finally rebeling against her real father.

A surprising third on this list perhaphs will be Arthur Sr. I know I never did much with him ( and I loved seeing C's take on him, she brought him to life in a way I never could.) but the english siblings plot, even if it has been over for a while specially for me, was one of my favorite things.

That brings us to Reha, who is 1000% living with Bruce's in his country house, she has sheep and has a long term lumberjane girlfriend. I will not take questions. I don't think she's talked with any of the siblings for a while, but maybe one day she will grow a spine and appolagise for all she did to all of them. Face her errors and all that.

Petro was a wild mess but I enjoyed my time with him. I will never forget the one word to one gif sibbling thread. I've said this in the fam chat already but Petro is a girlfather now, he co-parents with the mother but they're not together. I don't think he will ever grow up enough to be a good husband but I like to think he will be a good father at least. He may still be after claude or whatever name Inna has for him this week.

I would also like to talk about nic tho i don't know if anyone remembers him. He was very fun to play and I'm sad I never did more with him. The protest t-shirts are a fun memory.

There are a few others I never had much time to do much with, valentina, seonhye, Genoa, Ariel, a bodyguard from galicia, Rhea sister of Gaia not to be confused with Reha, probably more

I can't forget andrés in all this mess. Him and Lis are probably my most recognizable characters of hshq, Bandrés was so fun and I can't believe we started this with Dani being 5 years old and he's almost a teenager now. That's insane. There are a lot of inside jokes coming from Bandrés and ASS and I don't think I'll ever forget this ragtag team of MeanGirls wannabees (MeanCatalans). Thanks Evy for making Andrés so fun to play with both Barbie and Sergi, and thanks Dee for entertaining our crazy with Simó after so long of these two being unsupervised <3.

what is your favourite plotline that you've been part of ?

Probably Catalonia. It became such a big part of hshq and I enjoyed it very much. But I'll be honest - I was always a fan of making up the wildest craziest shit up possible but I rarely could make it to the end. So Catalonia was only my favorite cause Evy took it on and made something real of it. I was a very bad political player.

I really enjoyed the "Everyone hates Andrés" gag too. This man has had 2 friends his whole life and no one else can stand him.

All of the other plots mentioned above were so fun too however. I'm truly so grateful to everyone on this rp for putting up with my bullshit.

what about other people's plotlines ?

I loved all of Arnauld's shit tremendolessly and I'm forever in awe of Martha and her caraterization of him.

who is your favourite character from the ones you've played ? why ? what made you love them ? what made them so fun to write ?

I love all of them very differently. I think it would likely be a tie between Lis, Miray and Andrés. This will likely not surprise anyone as they are the i've played the longest. They were very fun to write because I could dip my foot in politics without having to be too involved. I think that was always my downfall in this rp - I was not good at the political plays.

if you could relive a plotline, which would it be ?

Early Bandrés fighting was so fun to write. They became so very friendly by the end (good for them of course but still). We tried to shake them up a little but never will quite be like those early Bandrés threads where they couldn't keep their hands off eachother, nor stop arguing.

is there a plotline that you'd edit now if you could ?

I don't think so. I would like to finish some things I never did but fully change something? I would have maybe made Lis 3.0 her own character so I could have explored her more mean spirited, manipulative vibes more.

what's a plotline you wish you would have been able to finish before closing or just write more of ?

I would have loved to give Miray a more finished storyline. Have her figure out her place in the family and the world in general. She was to immature by the end and too lost, I wish some of that had been fixed before I lost all my time with my masters.

what is your favourite ooc memory ?

I have so many. I enjoyed the group discord very much over the years. I also love the verb naomi'ed until the end of my days.

My favorite might be the day everyone posted voice posts of the characters names in the correct language- it was so fun to hear these characters names correctly!

There is so much of my growing up that is tied to this group. My mom knows about some of you guys. "I'm talking to my brasilian friend" "Oh I know someone who lives in Northern Europe"

where can others find you if they want to get in touch ?

Discord is probably the easiest. I have a tumblr I use for little but if you'd like it @glitradora and if anyone would like it please feel free to ask for my whatsapp number either here by message or on discord <3

what else would you like to say ?

I will miss this rp so much - and surely I will lose track of some of you guys because of it closing. If so I hope to find you at some point in the future. I've know some of you for 8 years - that's longer than some of my irl friends. It's going to be wild to not have an hshq to come back too. but I will be bothering you all in the discord as long as it stays open. <3

ps. speciall for serre: 🍅🍅🍅

#hshqtask059 #goodbye <3 #I'm gonna read everyone's now

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lasttabris · 14 days

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Ken Kaneki | One Eyed King [ Tokyo Ghoul: Re ]

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Name: Ken Kaneki Canon: Tokyo Ghoul: Re Canon Point: Chapter 98 / Chapter 132 / Chapter 179 Age: 23 Species: Half-ghouls/half-Kakujas History: Wikia

Personality (Chapter 45 to 98):

At chapter 45, Sasaki's current canon point, he was starting to doubt his identity. After having met ghouls who feared the "Eyepatch Ghoul" (who Kaneki used to be), he showed a lot of fear about becoming someone who others would fear, he was afraid of the things he had done as Kaneki and what he did to earn such fear from the ghoul community. He didn’t want to become "Kaneki, the ghoul of which other ghouls are terrified of". However, he still wanted to know who Kaneki used to be; as he saw Kaneki inside his mind, heard his words, as he met with old friends, even if he was afraid of who he used to be, Sasaki didn't want to let go of that person. He justified this as "the fear of waking up without knowing anything" and he felt like he couldn't cling to what was given to him, if he couldn't even remember who he was.

This struggle would eventually come to an halt. Thanks to events in canon, Sasaki was sent on a mission by the Commission of Counter Ghoul, to attack and eradicate Tsukiyama Family - the family of Shuu Tsukiyama, one of Kaneki's old friends (which he forgot about). While meeting Tsukiyama did not bring Sasaki's memories back, someone else helped with that: Eto, aka Sen Takatsuki aka the Leader of Aogiri Tree (a quick reminder that Kaneki was tortured by Aogiri Tree in canon, long ago). Eto enters the battle and literally beats the hell out of Sasaki in order to trigger his memories and she is very sucessful in that.

In order to understand the shock, imagine what it's like to have years of memories returning to you in such a short moment; Sasaki learned everything he had forgotten about Kaneki and learned who he truly was. Memories of the abuse lived by his mother, memories of his torture, memories of his loss, memories of the terror lived, as well as memories of the terror caused and memories of the awful things he did. Sasaki "went to sleep" that very second and Kaneki "woke up" once again, full of grief, full of despair, full of pain and suffering. All of this, aided by the fact that one of Sasaki's subordinates (Shizaru) died during the operation, lead Kaneki/Sasaki into a whole new phase of his life, which we call "Black Reaper Kaneki".

This is one of darkest, saddest and most emotionally heavy stages of Kaneki's life, even more so than Post-Aogiri Torture. After realizing he helped to exterminate his friend's whole family, after realizing that he sent Hinami to jail where she'd eventually be disposed of, after realizing that other important friends KNEW Kaneki was alive as Sasaki (Touka, Nishio, Yomo) and yet they never came for him, after realizing that again he lost someone important to him and he was far too weak to do anything, Kaneki went into a spiral of self-hatred and became rather disgusting himself. He accused Urie (one of his subordinates) that he was weak and Shizaru's death had been partially his fault due to his lack of ability, for example, something that Kaneki would have NEVER said in any other phase of his life. This was also when Sasaki - no, Kaneki - decided:

"This time, I want to do something that will allow me to be loved by everyone. A good thing, a bad thing, it doesn't matter. And after that,

I want to die in style."

During this time we have little to no insight on what is happening within Kaneki and all of his actions show him to have turned cold stone, cruel, downright sadistic. He is set on going after Aogiri Tree and their leader to capture her, and in his path he leaves body after body, exterminating the ghouls he sees without caring they are lives that he just took (unlike Sasaki, who despite obeying orders, tried not to be cruel). He is also seen to have departed from the Castle where he lived with his subordinates; during this time, Sasaki severed contact with his "children" and joined another investigator called Furuta in order to hunt for Takatsuki/Eto. Finally, he also stopped visiting Hinami and her date for extermination started drawing near without Sasaki ever bothering to visit her. All through the 6 months that passed by, Sasaki kept this scary and especially creepy smile on his lips, and seemed to only be set on Aogiri and capturing Eto.

This was truly a very dark phase, but not without its merits. While Sasaki seemed to forget everything else, he didn't. His plan to capture Eto and send her to Cochlea Prison was but an excuse to have the CCG focus on Aogiri and their leader alone, and Sasaki would use that as a diversion in order to save Hinami from Cochlea; that would be his very last stand, one that would make him loved by everyone (his friends, such as Hinami, Touka, etc) even though it was a bad thing. And after he'd fight Arima, his own father, in order to give Hinami enough time to escape, and finally he'd die by Arima's hands.

But not all is lost. Or that terrible it's still very terrible tho. During his fight with Arima, there was quite a lot that Sasaki learned - but above all, he learned to want to live. At first, his battle with Arima was merely one to stall but never to win; as Kaneki was facing his own father, he never expected to win against him, the one who was said to be the unbeatable ghoul investigator. As such, Sasaki fought him like a dead man, someone welcoming death and someone like that could never defeat Arima.

And when he was at the very end and about to give in and die, Hide came into play. Certainly Kaneki was simply hallucinating, but that was the person he needed to see and the person he needed to remember; his subconscious took Hide's form and told him exactly what he needed to hear:

"I'll say it as many times as it takes for you to hear it. It may not be stylish, but…

LIVE."

On the verge of death, he has a revelation. In a beautiful moment, Kaneki realizes not just that he actually doesn’t want to die, but that all those voices and messages that he's internalized, all the people he’s been living for, were actually things that he himself was thinking. For the first time in a very long time, kaneki finally desired to live and this is by far the biggest step forward he ever took.

Perhaps a lot of it was about obligation to the others he still had to save, or perhaps he wanted to find a reason to live and couldn't give up just yet - if he died now, he'd never find one - but whatever it was, it gave him the will to live. As so, Kaneki stopped wanting death. He had to live, he couldn't be killed by Arima - and this is one of the most important parts of his current personality: Kaneki wants to LIVE. Death is no longer his reason, but LIFE is. And he also realized that everything that went on through in his hazed mind, the hallucinations he saw, the people he heard whispering at his ear, Rize and Hide, and even all the people Kaneki and Sasaki have been living for were actually things that his own subconscious wanted.

He doesn't want to die and he will live. And so his battle with Arima will end only one way: with Kaneki's rebirth. And victory.

The moment Arima realizes he has lost and yet kaneki would not kill him, he cuts his own neck in order to die. While this was a huge shock to Kaneki, Arima manages to explain during his last breaths his position as a half-ghoul created by a group called V, who happen to be the Washuus - the creators of the Commission of Counter Ghoul. So Kaneki learns about the hypocrisy of the Washuu ghouls who wanted to be humans and shaped the world according to their own selfish desires, deeming all the other ghouls creatures to be murdered while they controlled humans to do their bidding. They even went as far as creating a breeding program called "Sunlit Garden" to produce half-human/half-ghouls (though the Garden children were failed experiments) in order to fulfill these desires. Arima also proceeds to explain that he met Eto and both worked together in order to find A KING, a figure everyone had been long searched by everyone and that represented Hope for a new world, and for a revolution. In his last moment, Arima admits to be said King, the One Eyed King, a title Eto gave him and he never disputed.

Even though Kaneki did not kill Arima, Arima asks for him to say he did in order to take the title of the One Eyed King, and thus he'd inherited a special kind of throne: a ghoul and a human throne, and to give hope to both these worlds - and Kaneki is indeed the best choice as he has lived in both worlds and often spoke of the balance between the two and showed kindness towards both. With this new king, the revolution would start: against the world, against the Washuu/V, against the humans who only saw ghouls as monsters to kill, and against the ghouls who only saw the humans as food.

Kaneki was chosen for many reasons, but his duality takes great importance. After Aiogiri he considered himself ghoul only and as Sasaki he considered himself human only - but once he regained his memories he stood with a bit of both and he became once again both human and ghoul, which is a kind of duality neither Eto or Arima had despite their hybrid nature. Ultimately both Arima and Eto had to pass on their traits in order to create a newer better One Eyed King and thus hope for a better world for ghouls and humans. And Kaneki was perfect to fill that role since he someone who despite all the harsh things happening in his life still was kind and thought of others first, someone who cared for both ghouls and humans, someone who would rebel rather than kill and destroy, and ultimately someone who had the chance to see and feel so much.

Even if all of this sounds wonderful there are many dark sides to it. It's necessary to remember how much of an unreliable narrator Kaneki is and how much he blinds himself. Long ago Kaneki hoped to be “born for love and revolution”, however his rebirth and placement as king is quite questionable in terms of love. While Arima DOES love Kaneki, in the end Kaneki was emotionally manipulated into becoming the king by that same man, and was also manipulated by Eto who made sure to bring back his memories and slap him around so he'd fight back. He was technically forced into the throne when he refused to Kill Arima and Arima decided he'd just kill himself instead.

Someone as emphatic as Kaneki could never say no to Arima's last dying wish which was for him to take the throne. It's also important to remember that Arima's and Kaneki's relationship was never 100% positive; at first, Arima saw Kaneki as nothing but a pawn to use and he is even seen dragging Kaneki's thorn up body like he is trash - while feelings change with time and Arima's certainly did too, it's important to remember he still used Kaneki and there was a lot of manipulation involved, and Kaneki does NOT see that.

While Kaneki can certainly make plenty of choices from here on now, as he has returned to the duality he once forgotten, he currently only has Arima and Eto’s plans as a guide to move forward and once again he was pushed into this role rather than choosing it by himself. However, as both Arima and Eto were pushed aside (now dead), so it becomes questionable to what exactly IS the plan now. Kaneki never knew what he could do to stop the divide between the ghouls and the humans, and while things are certainly changing, there is still much left to do and much left to decide. And there will still be much bloodshed too; after all, this throne was built by two very violent people (Eto and Arima) and Kaneki has much tendency to take up his parental figure's world views and that could lead to even more violence.

Kaneki needs a stronger sense of self, which he still needs to learn to have in order to break the cycle of violence he was pushed into.

Personality (chapter 98 to 132):

We last left Kaneki as the One Eyed King, a throne kept by Arima Kishou and warmed up by Eto Yoshimura, both now dead and, which they gave Kaneki to continue. He and his friends managed to escape Cochlea Prison - there were many losses but main characters don't die, so those deaths are okay.

To make things easier to understand, I’ll give you a summary: the CCG (the governmental group that fights the ghoul threat) are actually ran by ghouls, the Washuu Family, who have a special ghoul army made of half-ghouls, all of them born at a place called the "Sunlit Garden" and all of them came from the Washuu bloodline (like Arima). Rize Kashimiro, the ghoul whose organs were transferred into Kaneki (and turned him into a half ghoul) was one of the Sunlit Garden ghouls who would give birth to the half ghoul children, but with the help of one Furuta Washuu (an unwanted child, not even a half-ghoul) she escaped the Garden. Furuta, in love with Rize, realized she only used him to escape and decided to do more: Furuta joined a group of incredibly dangerous ghouls called the Clowns and they literally caused every incident that has been happening in canon - yes, even Rize's attack on Kaneki and the transfer of her organs into him by Dr. Kanou were orchestrated by the Clowns and Furuta (Kaneki isn't special. He was just there, it could have been anyone else). With the help of the Clowns, Furuta kills every Washuu and takes over the CCG as the last heir, and starts to call himself the new KING. He becomes Kaneki's main enemy, which kaneki will continuously ignore. With Dr. Kanou (who has access to Rize somehow), they start creating ANOTHER army, this one made of children - the Oggai, who underwent similar ghoulification process Kaneki did and have Rize’s organ.

As Kaneki leaves the CCG and becomes King, many ghouls join under his wing. Ghouls he released from Cochlea Ghoul Prison, past enemies, past friends, ghouls who were under Eto's command, and also humans who were under Arima's command. They brought along some people who didn't want to be brought along (such as Akira, a ghoul investigator, and now a traitor) and Dr. Kanou's past ghoulification experiments such as Amon, Takizawa and Kuro. As the word that the One Eyed King has returned spread, more ghouls joined Kaneki's group and this became his army - and this is how the anti-human organization "The Goat" was created. On the other hand, Furuta fed the public, the media, the CCG and everyone, about the evils of Kaneki Ken, the ghoul who betrayed Japan and now a national terrorist, and promised everyone to end the ghoul era once and for all, by exterminating every single ghoul, which quickly causes his popularity to rise fast. Kaneki's children, the Quinx, remained by the CCG side, and while one of them - Mutsuki - grew more and more unstable, the other two - Urie, Saiko - begun to question what the fuck is Furuta doing.

INTERMISSION IS OVER. BACK TO KANEKI.

Kaneki found himself with a title he isn't sure what to do with. He had both Arima's and Eto's reasons in his hand - to break the way this world runs and start a new, to bring hope to the ghouls and give them a place in a world that has always rejected them - and Kaneki claimed he'd continue the previous King's last wishes: create a world where humans and ghouls can understand each other. As someone who is from both worlds and had his human-ghoul duality returned to him, kaneki is certain that they can do it, and both sides need to talk it out. That sounded like a sensible speech, but Kaneki quickly added that of course humans will not listen at first and that's why kaneki decided they'd bring the talk to them by force.

This however, worked quite well on ghouls. Because they have always been repressed and oppressed, they would not believe in peaceful conversations and Kaneki had to bring force to the table as it's the one thing ghouls understand the most. Ghoul violent nature automatically expects violence and they do not believe something like an understanding could be achieved without any force and bloodshed; with this Kaneki was able to step up as the King of Ghouls and was able to make it clear to all ghouls following him that he KNOWS this world he claims to want to help - this shows great intelligence about working with the masses, but in the long run it will not be enough.

While it seems that kaneki wants to help a whole population to rise from the shadows of a world that despises them, actually all of this is much for show. Kaneki is a very simple person, and none of this actually matters to him. The reason why Kaneki remains as King, not only was because of Arima's last dying request, but also because he believes that holding the position of King will work better to keep his people safe, the ones he truly loves and cares for; he is not a hero neither wants world peace, which doesn't fit the definition of a great leader and it's very selfish, but Kaneki still is the boy who lives for the ones who are close to him. It is very selfish in a way that Kaneki only cares for people as long they are close to him. He may sympathize with other, but overall it depends on his own people: he only takes the side of those he can see, and most of them happen to be ghouls which is why he decided to "give it a try at fighting" for ghouls and be the King of Ghouls.

It’s true, Kaneki is actually a pretty terrible King. He makes more mistakes than right decisions, and people close to him do notice that. Kaneki at first believed that having Furuta the power was more convenient but soon we see that he completely underestimated Furuta the moment he released the Oggai, made a show out of killing ghouls and forced the Goat into underground. Another thing was how he forbade ghouls from killing humans, even though ghouls were being killed; this not only left Goat's defenses weaker, but it also left everyone hungry and Kaneki’s way to appease the ghouls was through nice speeches (it worked to calm them down, but it didn’t fix anything). While kaneki can lead a small group, is intelligent enough for it and can make good decisions for that group, he is unable to lead and control a large group of people who highly depend on him; kaneki doesn't know how to be king and he doesn't have the right mindset to lead the Goats as King because he is focused on just his people and not everyone else.

Continuing the line of "Kaneki is kind of messed up", he still has a hard time understanding friendship and love. His motivation to save everyone is so he won't be alone, and tries to take most of the weight of it all by himself. He was so set on deciding things for everyone, deciding to leave them or not let them help in any way because he was the one who had to protect them and do everything for them. It's good to remember that Kaneki was (and still is) someone who will leave people and often does that under the excuse he has to protect others from being hurt, so they have to stay away.

Thankfully the last chapters of the manga show us he is changing. People who support Kaneki have told him to not to take everything on himself and Kaneki agree to it: he has started depending on others, to the point he doesn't feel like he has to control everything. Kaneki, who believed he had to make decisions for them, started to show he is listening to people, he is accepting that they CAN and WILL handle things even when he is not there. Regarding friends, Touka bluntly called Kaneki out on how he puts people into the box of “People I want to protect”, rather than experiencing individual and meaningful connections with each one of them, and at the same time he’s also lonely because he pushes people away since he is afraid of losing them. When she did this, Kaneki moved forward (a bit) and allowed himself to finally accept a more meaningful connection with Touka: THEY BECAME LOVERS.

At the same time, Kaneki is still running away. He claims he is fighting for ghouls because the people he loves happen to be ghouls. But let's not forget the Quinx, friends from the CCG or Kaneki's best friend Nagachika Hideyoshi, are ALL humans. It will come a time when humans are part of the equation as people Kaneki loves, and telling himself that fighting for his friends equals fighting for ghouls will no longer work. Right now, he blinds himself and turns away from this.

While Kaneki is (VERY) slowly changing, some things don't change. Kaneki abhors violence. To write this seems like a really big contradiction, especially after he created a terrorist group and mentioned force to get humans to listen. But Kaneki uses violence as a necessity. As King, he forbade his ghouls from killing humans and it shows him to be quite the hypocrite in many ways: he is okay with ghouls dying but not humans. The theory is that ghouls are very used to violence and work best with it. Kaneki could only make ghouls listen to him when he brought up it would be by force, Naki only joined him after Kaneki defeated him in a fight. "The strongest guy takes it all". But on the other hand, humans don't work like this, their world is different from that, and automatically Kaneki does not react violently to them, and goes to a huge length not to kill them. This is very hypocrite and kind of wrong though.

In truth, even that logic doesn’t really hold up for him subconsciously either. Kaneki is so afraid and disgusted of violence that he quickly spirals down into self-hatred and trauma when he remembers some of the things he did. Kaneki suffers from a bad coping mechanism that makes his actions illogical - he copes with his fear of being violent by only being violent to people who ‘deserve it’. And in this case, ghouls do because they live with violence. In some way, Kaneki still sees ghouls as violent monsters and it's alright to pluck out the bad ones; while choosing to kill or spare is a response to conflict, it doesn't mean his motivations are right. And they are very wrong, considering his position as the King. Kaneki is a mass murder of ghouls, insists on saving humans, and yet he is the King of Ghouls.

It's good to remember that Kaneki is still on a journey to understand himself and others, and has always struggled to find a sense of self and a reason to live. Not so long ago, he was set on killing himself and he only did what was told to do. In fact, that's his coping mechanism and symptom of his need to find a reason to live: he prefers to obey because it gives him a reason. Of course now he is King, and there is no one tell him what to do and he has to do it all by himself. Which is very difficult when you don't have a strong sense of who you are. Kaneki also accepts that he is selfish and his motivations to be King are too, and he isn't even excusing his selfishness and (by extension) his loneliness and insecurities – he accepts it. And that's a good step because before he didn't realize it. He has to learn to see the world (which he claims he doesn't care about because he doesn't see it), has to learn to look at other people as more than just "my people", he has to learn to actually see and connect to those people better, and he has to move forward and stop seeing all of those people through his abandonment issues (that ultimate started when his mother died).This is happening all very slow because kaneki is a very static character unless someone punches him to do it. Kaneki takes small steps forward and while it doesn't look like much, they are extremely important for his growth, but it's still very slow.

But since we mentioned Touka above, let's focus on her, because she had a huge impact on kaneki. The two fell in love before they even realized, but Touka mentions how Sasaki would visit the shop and eyed her with the same eyes Kaneki once looked at Rize; a crush, so to speak. It's no lie Kaneki always had a soft spot for Touka and always actively tried to push her to achieve her own happiness, but the development of their relationship only started when Touka herself gave the first step because Kaneki was too dense to do it otherwise. While their relationship seems a bit rushed and out of the blue, the fact is the two connected at a deep level due to their abandonment and parental issues, and issues with their nature; it's perhaps not the best reason, but it was reason enough for Kaneki to understand and finally accept something that he always thought it was impossible to happen unless he did some huge sacrifice: he is loved. Kaneki never saw that before, even if he was. And this was the first time we’ve seen Kaneki bare himself for anyone. Their relationship is very gentle, they do care greatly for each other. Their first time (we got a whole chapter of them doing the do awyis) was pure emotion and with a lot of vulnerability from both parts, even though they usually avoid showing anything, but bared it all during sex; with so much happiness and the overwhelming sensation of love and care, Kaneki even cried. Vulnerability is a big important thing for both, as they both often refuse to be honest with their feelings. This doesn't solve all the issues, but it's a step to solve the self defeating component of Kaneki’s relationship with others that does not allow him to receive affection because he genuinely cannot conceive that people will want him around in any capacity, so he must work to earn it.

But it's important to know the two still have many issues and Touka uses her feelings to keep Kaneki away from suicidal thoughts, which he has shown her to still have at times. Other bad news is that now his happiness resides in Touka’s hands and he has seen her as the one to protect the most and his ONE reason to live - so much he married her right away and BY THE WAY she is pregnant (kids. Use condoms on your first time). Which, per se, wouldn’t be a bad thing if they weren’t so codependent but both cling to each other so hard as a hope to breathe under all the shit that continuously happens to them; was anything to happen to one of them, they'd just spiral down and all the progress made so far would fall flat (or worse. It'll be worse. It always is). On a positive note, Kaneki also watched Touka make decisions for him and seeing her doing that pushed him to make his own decisions as well. He often runs from them (for example, the issue with the food and the Goat) but watching Touka making serious decisions regarding her pregnancy in order to protect their baby, Kaneki decided to try and become more assertive and made decisions on his own, such as forming an expedition to go find food for the Goat - which is yet another big step for Kaneki.

Personality (Chapter 132 to 179)

Kaneki came from a canon point where he had married pregnant Touka, was king of Ghouls, the CCG (the governmental group that fights the ghoul threat) was ruled by a crazy person called Furuta and meanwhile the others who worked at the CCG started realizing things weren't right. Things with Kaneki's kingdom weren't alright either, since he was starving his people by telling them not to hunt humans. Furuta created an army called the Oggai, 101 children who underwent similar ghoulification process Kaneki did; these Oggai had Rize's organs as well, just like Kaneki does, and keep this in mind because these 101 child coffins are incredibly important to Kaneki's own transformation.

Fueled by his wife's own stubbornness and choices, Kaneki decides to make a choice as well: move his best fighters to go find a source of food for the ghouls Kaneki has been slowly starving. This means leaving behind weaker ghouls (including Touka, since she is pregnant) at the hideout and you bet the second Kaneki and his army step away from the hideout, Furuta attacks with his Oggai. Luckily for everyone (is it really? REALLY??), kaneki comes just in time to save his wife and little sister (Hinami) before they are slaughtered, but in turn Kaneki is the one who gets slaughtered. Absolutely overpowered by the Oggai and Furuta, Kaneki concluded his wife, baby and friends would die if he didn't act.

So Kaneki acted.

And he ate the Oggai. All those 101 children were viciously consumed by Kaneki in a desperate move, and the overload of kagunes from the Oggais' bodies cause Kaneki to suddenly transform himself into a new sayan form: the Dragon. The Dragon is pretty much a huge, uncontrollable and self-sufficient kagune that emerges from Kaneki and rampages through Tokyo, destroying half of it and eating everyone in its way (humans included). However, the dragon is ultimately separate from Kaneki; While the dragon emerged from him, the original host is Rize's lifeless body: she is dead in every sense of the word but thanks to all the Oggai Kaneki consumed (all of whom had parts of Rize within them), Rize's body was rebuilt and it became the host for the Dragon. Kaneki was but the trigger and ultimate Rize became the womb: the dragon produces a toxin that turns humans into ghouls and turns other ghouls into parts of the dragon.

The Dragon was Furuta's plan from the start and with it he hoped to bring a common enemy to ghouls and humans alike, thus uniting them in utter chaos and death. A fitting destiny for a world Furuta thought to be a tragedy (kaneki and Furuta are strangely alike), but it does work: ghouls and humans join together to face this threat. Kaneki remains inside of the Dragon after doing his part, but everyone seems to love Kaneki and decide to go save him (it sounds stupid, but this is to show how much Kaneki is loved, something he always refused to believe it could be possible). After locating him, they manage to pull Kaneki out of the Dragon and they find out getting Kaneki out was not only very sappy but also a smart thing to do: because Kaneki has a part of Rize inside himself, he is immune to the toxin. And thus he can go back to the dragon, find the host (Rize) and cut her off from the kagune, so the toxin won't be produced anymore.

And that's exactly what he does, like a good shounen hero. As he "kills" Rize again, the dragon starts falling apart.

AND WE ARE STOPPING HERE, and we can now go into Kaneki's actual growth.

Honestly, Kaneki is a good person. That's something we can say for sure. He is a good person and wants to be a good person and tries his best to be a good person. However, like tragedy that befalls him at every turn, kaneki does a lot of wrong things. Things we would look at and say "I'd do better", things one can easily say "I'd never do that", things we can, as the audience, judge easily. But with honesty, would we be so different from him? That’s the struggle Kaneki goes through the most, maybe things would’ve been different, but maybe they would’ve been worse. Ultimately you need to keep going. Pushing forward is an important theme. But sadly one Kaneki hadn't embraced yet; by focusing so hard on the "what ifs", kaneki focused on his non-humanity, on his mistakes, and acted focused solely on them.

And this resulted in him seeing the world as a tragedy. Kaneki focused so much on his losses, he couldn't see the people he still had. He focused so much on the sadness he felt, that he couldn't enjoy the happiness that was all around him. He felt that the world was so wrong, that all the right things he had were but a lie. However, there is a shift from this mentality when finally Touka gave the first big step, and then a full shift when Kaneki surfaces from the Dragon.

Touka's love was one of the big steps for Kaneki to go through things. She became easily his reason; Kaneki is someone who has been starved for affection since he was very young; he always yearned a place to belong, which he thought he'd never be able to have due to being a half-ghoul. In truth, this is Kaneki's main struggle: he didn't have a balance between his ghoul nature and his human nature. And this struggle is seen the way he treats ghouls as well: by continuously telling them they couldn't hunt humans, he threw them into starvation and would rather have them starve and grow weaker by the day; ghouls dying is still not as bad as humans dying. But with Touka, things started shifting. He felt truly accepted and truly wanted for the first time, by anyone ever (these are not rational thoughts, and not true – but this was what Ken believed). Ken’s primary flaws and struggles have all stemmed from his mother’s inability to put him first, and yet Touka makes the very choice that he always wished that his mother had made. He is finally truly loved and the first within someone's heart.

When he was saved from the Dragon, despite everything he did, despite destroying half of Tokyo on the way, people still came for him. People he loved and thought he didn't deserve; people kaneki truly believed if he didn't push away, they'd see the wrong things he does, and yet when he did something SO BAD, they still came for him. He realized he was loved. Kaneki himself has a lot of questions as to why people even love him and honestly this is a good question to ask. There is a lot about Kaneki that simply comes from him trying to please people; Kaneki is a people pleaser and acts certain way to make others love him, and so others love him for that. But there are still people who will love him even when his masks fall and who will come for him even after that acting has vanished and that's what truly touched him.

Even without masks, some still love him.

The Dragon also helped Kaneki to learn he wasn't really the epicenter of everything; Rize was Furuta's plan all along, Kaneki was just there and thus he was never really a target. It shows that his tragedy was never the important part. Kaneki was selfish in the way that he saw mostly what he wanted to see; by falling into the victim role (naturally, many times he WAS indeed the victim, but not everything that happened to kaneki was due to that. A lot of it came from his own tragic understanding of himself), Kaneki often played the innocent. Kaneki cannot be a victim in all circumstances in life, his choices have to exist somewhere. Especially when Kaneki makes himself the center of a revolution, and the strongest ghoul among ghouls. Many times things were laid out plain and simple in front of Kaneki, and yet he continued to be blind towards them simply because they were not about him. The political state of the CCG, Furuta's plan (which he ignored until the very last), or even the Oggai, these were things Kaneki could have seen if he saw beyond himself. With the dragon, he realizes he was blinded all the time, and he is not a revolutionist and not the strongest, he is just some random guy who was there; even when it comes to Rize, kaneki saw that to her he is just really some guy and most likely she wouldn't even remember him if she was alive.

Owning up to his own state is a good step to finally realize his own selfishness, which is inherently related to how he saw the world as well.

For a very long time, Kaneki kept the mindset that his life was a tragedy and he was the main character. He'd move from a tragedy to another, he'd submit himself to one tragedy to avoid another, and ironically making him more alone in the process. He'd use "the world is wrong" to justify his own personal suffering. But with everything happening around him during and after the dragon, Kaneki comes to realize that the world is what we make of it. There is nothing inherently tragic about it; we are all the main characters of our own novels, and we write them based on everything around us. The world does not have a moral quality to it, it's not wrong or right.

The world just is.

And that means the world is a blank canvas and if you do right, you do right, and if you do wrong, you do wrong - and you simply move from that. Kaneki finally realized there is no invincible godly power holding him down, only people, circumstances and conceptions that can all be challenged and all be changed. And although we have death, we have life too.

It's good to remember the Dragon was also a kick to Kaneki's own hypocrisy, his own mistakes he continued to hide from and to almost deny. Kaneki knows he did a lot of wrong things and he know many of his actions are absolutely disgusting, which is why he had so much self-hatred (still has, that doesn't just vanish). But he always found ways to justify himself, or he'd spiral down. Not just the fact that the world was wrong, but he didn't fully consider ghouls people, he answered a lot with violence, he killed SO MANY; but he'd come up with pretty unhealthy coping mechanisms to get through it. It's important to press it's not Kaneki's fault for coming up with a poor coping-mechanism, but it is ultimately his fault for choosing to see the world the way he did. However, the murder of the Oggai as well as the many people in Tokyo certainly gave him a push to see things how they are. Not just them, but everyone else Kaneki killed before. He also realized he had really bad coping-mechanisms to deal with everything he has done.

He set up seemingly hypocritical boundaries like “killing ghouls fine, killing humans no, but I’m the ghoul king” because it was literally the only way he could live with himself. His loved ones did not help with this either because they constantly turned a blind eye to this; they knew Kaneki absolutely loathes himself and in hopes not to break him further, they did not bring up these strange contradictions and the bad things he did. After the Dragon, it was impossible to hide that and Kaneki finally accepted to see what HE did, did not come up with a strange hypocritical boundary to try to justify it, neither did his loved ones turn a blind eye because it was right there in front of everyone.

Do not deny your mistakes and your actions. And don't pretend they aren't there just because you love someone. See them for what they are. But realize that those actions sometimes come from unwinnable situations; Kaneki turned into the dragon because he ate the Oggai, yes, but if he hadn't done it he'd end up losing everyone dear to him (and he'd die too. And let's remember that Kaneki finally stopped feeling suicidal. He no longer wants to die). It's an impossible situation where he'd lose regardless. And what he did was terrible and it's his fault, and everyone sees that and doesn't deny that. And now, it's something he will have to move on from, taking into consideration the situation was impossible and he made an impossible choice. But it was still his choice.

The killing of the Oggai was honestly a pretty difficult thing to think of and it's easy to see why it was such a tipping point. Kaneki, a soon to be father and a person who has so many times adopted children under his wing, stand up and murders 101 children who were being used by a madman, and had no fault in what was truly happening. Kaneki understands the nature of act he’s committed, and while arguing killing children is absolutely vile, the Oggai would have killed Kaneki's baby and also all the children from Kaneki's kingdom if they hadn't been eaten. Furuta accused him of never learning; of always choosing himself. He’s always put his own moral righteousness above actual life. He’s never killed humans, never choose one life over another, and never made an honest decision that forced him to take responsibility for his actions. And for all of that, he has done nothing but suffer.

And so he finally does make a choice: kill, and put an end to the senseless murders the Oggai might commit in the future. Kill, and save those innocent children and the people he loves. Kill, and take control of the the life he’s been handed. Kill, even at the expense of others. In life, in the world, you steal and you are stolen from. And then you face head on the consequences of your actions. And so Kaneki did.

And no more excuses, no more trying to come up with a crappy coping-mechanism that won't make sense. Kaneki is a murderer, Kaneki killed 101 children. Kaneki saved his own life and is still alive. Kaneki saved his loved ones and all the ghouls in his kingdom. Kaneki was manipulated by a madman who saw destruction as unity. Kaneki caused the dragon to emerge and destroyed half of Tokyo, killing hundreds more in the process. Kaneki went back to the dragon and once again killed, this time Rize. Face all of that.

And so he will.

And as he faces it, he moves forward, finally glad to be alive.

#☠ Ken Kaneki (OEK)

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gokupowers · 3 years

Text

troy and abed 10 years in the fuuuture! they pay taxes now

#my art #community tv #abed nadir #troy barnes #danny pudi #donald glover #childish gambino #honestly the sentiment of donald glover being destined for greater things than community...its not wrong and its hard not to imagine troy #just as sucessful. which i know the point of the show is they all went to community college and were a failure of some sort but like cmon #i cannot look at donald glovers face and not think celebrity wunderkid alumni of my school...part of what made atlanta weird 4 me #because atlanta was so much of earn failing. but all donald glover did was succeed its such a wild contrast and while hes an amazing actor #i just dont feel deadbeat/struggle from him like .. he was hired at 23 by tina fey after NYU. what about that says people doubted him ever #anyways back to the main point. i think i blended a lil bit of real life too much into this au but its hard not to...community ending was a #nebulous cop out ending so i didnt have much to go off of. anyways i think abed was definitely some kinda genius so the sucessful indie #film maker slash documentarian and well regarded film critic slash author makes the most sense. btw a&e journalists are still journalists #i will respect those mfs....anyways abeds thing in community was being great at tropes analysis and understanding what makes something work #or not. but he couldnt write actual scripts without help. because ..as they said repeatedly...he lacked what made movies full of substance #but his cinematography and editing skills were def demonstrated...making me think hes better suited as a critic and indie short film maker #than an actual director. because a director position requires charisma and leadership and while abed is my baby. that man could not lead.#a specific technical skill that relies on his consumption of film conventions and analysis? perfect for him. i chose the new yorker because #secretly...in this AU? hes friends with ronan farrow. i literally just think they would be friends idk. farrow could be his replacement jeff #troy being wildly successful is believable anyways based off the show establishing that he was a great football player + a master once in q #lifetime plumber slash ac repair man + a singer/rapper + just cute. my biggest complaint abt community was having donald glover with a white #girl. i KNOW hes dated white girls based off some of his bars but like cmon. troy? they never gave him a woman of color...why? they gave him #that fine ass girl in the beginning when annie had a crush on him and never brought it up again. i just wish community wouldve had glover #write and direct some episodes like that show wouldve been so improved from a black writer. soooo improved. plus atlanta shows he can do it.#right well ... to elaborate just a lil more on this AU...abed is a lot more confident and tactiturn. i was v much taken by danny pudi in #mythic quest for no reason other than...that skinny boy taking charge just makes me feel things idk. even if hes evil ill allow it. normally #guys that look like him disgust me. as in skinny non conventionally attractive guys. i like my men masc + built...but something abt hum #so refined...that don draper impression if he did it when he was 40..yeah..

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sunookkii · 3 years

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Soooo👀can I get enhypen reaction to their best friend/crush cuddling them for the first time while they're hanging out together?

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.enhypen imagine ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚

a/n : tysm for requestingggg baee <333 I hope you like it!

Enhypen reacting to their bestfriend/crush cuddling them >~< [drabble]

Enhypen ot7 x Reader

Genre : fluff

Warnings : flustered enha

Requested : yees

Heeseung

You two were just hanging out like usual since you guys are really close friends and known eachother for a long long time~ Heeseung had the BIGGEST crush on you every since you two met, but he never had the guts to confess to you so he just kept you as a friend because he didn’t want to ruin the relationship you two already have <3 one day at a hangout together, it became really late outside so you asked him if he wanted to sleep over [u too had a crush on hee 😏], he obviously checked if you were okay with it before accepting~ you guys were just getting ready for bed and he became flustered because you slept so easily comfortably next to him accidentally wrapping your arms around his chest cuddling him. His face is all red, he’s all stiff and can’t take the risk to move, or push you off. He could feel you breathing on him since your head was on his chest.. He adapted to this quickly even though this was all new to him. You two hugged a lot before but this time it was just.. different, it meant more to him since you guys are literally SLEEPING together so this is very much still new to him~ it makes him so happy, that you feel this comfortable around him. He won’t be able to stop smiling to himself from you hugging him to sleep, tbh he might not even be able to sleep because you’re running around his mind all night it makes him crush on you even more because of how cute you look sleeping and cuddling him.

Jay

You two have been very good friends for a long time to the point you guys can talk about anything and everything, he slowly developed feelings for you but I feel like when it comes to cuddling and hugging it’s a bit awkward.. one day you guys were just sitting down together side by side really close together [on the floor specifically] and you seemed to have a really bad day and your best friends was there with you so you just wanted to hug him for comfort. You go in for a hug which ends up as a cuddle and he’s really surprised that his crush/best friend just cuddled him??!! Would definitely return the hug, at first it was a bit awkward but couple of seconds later he rests his head on yours and he hugs you tighter with a smile painted on his face. Let’s just say you guys aren’t awkward anymore when hugging and he loves that he could hug you whenever he wants~ definitely becomes red every single time he gets to hug you, pretends to be cool and chill when cuddling you but in the inside he’s defiantly a mess. A cute mess ㅠㅠ

Jake

Jake is the type of best friend that would give you so many hugs and cuddles because he loves you that much, so hugs and cuddles with him isn’t so new. But since you are his crush specifically it’s a bit different with you. He loves hugging you and never misses his chance to do so. Today you guys had a hangout at your place and you two were just lying on your bed [your head was placed on his chest like a pillow] scrolling through your phones on a social media app showing each other funny posts you saw. You quickly got bored and just turned around facing him making your head at home on his chest and wrapped your arms around him. Leading him to be cuddled STOP I CANT DO THIS RN He became flustered and tbh he’s clueless and doesn’t know what to do. You guys hug all the time but how come he’s so awkward all of a sudden? He makes sure not to look you in your eye because if he does he’s going to become a smiling red mess. He’s already blushing and smiling but if he looks at your pretty eyes for one second he might or might not actually go crazy,,, probably giggling a lot leading you to think he’s crazy. This man fell for you and he fell for you BAD.. will definitely ask for more cuddles and dreams about the day where you two start dating, #hopelessromantic

Sunghoon

Kinda cliché but you guys were at the skating rink 😁 but you know because sunghoon is an ice prince he has to practice many times in a week and he barely gets to see you so instead you guys made an arrangement that after school you would go to the skating rink with him whether it would be watching him skate or learning how to skate with him~ today you were skating with him.. you fell down a lot but this time when you fell down he automatically caught you because obviously he doesn’t want you to fall so might as well try and catch you duh. #sucess. He caught you and you were now in you arms in a hugging position, it was a bit awkward at first since he had a crush on you, but to his luck you had a crush on him too [but he doesn’t know] you guys finished ice skating and hung out on the bleachers and you rested your head on his shoulders unintentionally but intentionally y’know? He flinches a bit and his eyes go WIDE! Doesn’t really know what to do, pats your head? Hug you back?? Literally clueless boy T_T then you tell him “thank you for catching me hoon” STOP HE’S LITERALLY FREAKING OUT IN THE INSIDE WITH JOY CUTIEEE (sry this wasn’t really a cuddle session but I thought it was cute ㅠㅠ)

Sunoo

It was a sleepover as always, this cutie loves sleeping over at your house since you can’t sleep over at his. Today you guys were doing face masks as a daily night care routine. You two took lots and lots of selcas together and laughed over the funny pics dying of laughter. Minutes past by and it was time to take off the mask he helped you take off yours and you helped take of his, your height difference was cute since you had to get on your tippy toes to actually reach his face :( cute. That’s all he thought... ‘cute’. Tbh I feel like he’s the type to say it out loud then you’d tease him, “ur in love with me just say it” he’d become SUPER SUPER flustered idek know how to describe it. You two finished taking off the face masks and doing your skin care routine. Since sunoo always lent you his expensive fancy skin care things you never really properly thanked him so you decided to give him a cuddling session right after washing your face, bringing your head in his chest. At first he’d be nervous but then he’d definitely return the hug and pat your head and give you a biggest smile. He loves you so much and might even say it. Thinks your the most adorable person in the world and definitely would want you to know that. Probably squishes your cheeks too and out of all the members I feel like he’d act like you two are actually already dating ㅠㅠ would definitely ask for more cuddles after this and it’ll become a daily thing~

Jungwon

After a long day, you and Jungwon walked together side by side late at night to the convenience store to get some ramen because you guys haven’t eaten for hours and you were starving. Eating with you was always nice and comforting Jungwon thought, just being with you overall was always a good time. Staring at you when you weren’t looking.. when you two finished eating you went to his house for a bit just to ‘hang out’, to him he always thought of you as more than friends, so I guess you could say that he thought of you as a crush [you on the other hand also has a crush on him ;)] lying down on his comfy bed you pull him over to cuddle him, at first he was freaking our and asked you what you were doing, and you said “hugging u” as if it was ntg💀 of course he’d let you continue hugging him, but now this is going to make him go crazy. hes never going to stop thinking about this moment and he’s never going to stop talking about this moment with his members- I think you might’ve broke him idk...

Niki

You guys were dancing for hours on end, you loved dancing with him and he definitely loved dancing with you. You two always had a crush on eachother but none of you guys confessed [but that’s for next time ;)] after you guys just finished dancing to the new groups song called Enhypen‘s drunk-dazed you two were literally sweating buckets,, you guys nearly fainted on how hard and intense the song was. You two dropped to the floor lying on your backs till suddenly you decide to hug riki ~ “uhm uhm y/n what r u doing?” I feel like that’s what he would say since all this is so new to him and his crush is literally on his chest cuddling him???!!! “Am I dreaming” he thinks to himself. I feel like his face would start burning not only bc of the intense dance you two just finished but bc his literal best friend/crush is on his fricking chest, please this cutie can’t contain his excitement~ you’d probably look at him and be likeRiki are you okay ur face is burning”, “N-NO IT WAS THE DANCE!” you’d literally check his temperature right here right now which leads to you two staring at eachother while cuddling????? OMGG #newffidea 🤩 but yeah he’d be like a tomato a giggly tomato 🍅 <3 ^^someone please write a niki oneshot like this

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mysmegrace · 3 years

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i recently installed mystic messenger again after like a month or more of not playing (was afraid of someone finding the game in my phone) , and it felt good to "see" the characters again , so can i please request headcanons of the rfa seeing mc after a long time ?

hello, that's completely understandable lol. i remember back in 2016 when i played it the first time around (i deleted it after the first bad ending and didn't play again until 2019 lol) and was worried people would look on my phone and see it. oh how times have changed lol. but of course!

RFA Seeing MC After a Long Time

---

yoosung kim:

you attended the rfa party during the last summer you had before going to college.

life was looking up for you.

you found an amazing boyfriend, started becoming independent, and got a good summer job.

things only got better when you found out you had gotten accepted to college.

only problem was that the college was in the US, and your friends and lover were in South Korea.

as much as you loved your new life here, you reminded yourself of your feelings before meeting the rfa.

how everything you created here would only be temporary.

but now, you didn’t want to stick to that anymore.

your life was going so well, and you knew yoosung wouldn’t be happy about you leaving to go across the globe.

however, it was too good of an opportunity to let it go.

this was what you were to planning to do for the last decade.

if you were to give up now, all your hard work would be for nothing.

you were incredibly conflicted, but eventually choose to follow your passion at college overseas.

and yoosung was frantic about it.

he wouldn’t be able to see you, protect you, help you, feed you, walk with you, the list went on.

however as he’s gotten more mature over the past few days, he knew he didn’t have the power to stop you, nor should he guilt you about it.

besides, he wanted you to pursue something you were passionate in and become successful.

some sacrifices would just have to be made.

that didn’t mean he would let you go either.

the two of you made a promise to call, facetime, and visit each other as often as possible.

you’d make it work.

so with much regret, you left to the states.

and when the holidays approached, you decided to bring yourself to him as a gift.

it had been months since he saw you at this point.

you both could enjoy the holidays together while relaxing.

it was a win win.

and what better way to carry out your surprise than by showing up to his front door at 10pm?

and that’s exactly what you did.

giving the door a good few knocks, you waited until you were greeted by yoosung standing in his unwashed pajamas, staring at you.

it took a few seconds for it to click who you are, yet once that processed, he was overcome with joy.

you thought it was adorable how his hands flew to his face as he began to pull you into a hug shortly after.

you were met with only parts of words as yoosung couldn’t explain his excitement fast enough.

and you were ecstatic as well.

you never realized how much you missed him until you were reunited with him again.

hence why after you two spent the holidays together, you found it incredibly difficult to leave again.

however with his encouragement, you went off to work your hardest so he could meet a successful you the next time you reunited.

hyun ryu / zen:

much like zen, you were an actor too.

you were a much lesser known actress, but you had began building connections.

and those connections all paid off when you were offered a new role in a movie that was predicted to be going big.

you couldn’t be more grateful.

yet as you began reading farther into the offer, your heart slowly sunk.

if you were to take the role, you would have to relocate to germany for the next 9 months.

you wanted this so bad, but you didn’t want to leave zen alone for 9 months.

he if could, he would join you in germany.

but he already had a role to work on in south korea.

as much as you wanted him to join you, you didn’t want him to give up his role he had been working so hard on for the past year.

you were conflicted, and knew it would be best to talk about it to zen.

not only to see what he thinks, but to ease your feelings.

and once you had the discuss about it with you, you came to a conclusion.

you would could, keeping in contact with him everyday.

though zen was heartbroken about it, he knew how much you wanted this and how much this would advance your career.

so with a heavy heart, he sent you off.

the moment you left on the plane, he was already longing for your reunion.

9 months never went by so slow.

when you were with him, there was never enough time to bask in each others love.

but without him, everyday had an extra 8 hours.

even though you were working 24/7, time stayed still for days on end.

yet when the production ended a month early, all your worries and stresses eased as you could finally reunite with your love in person.

without thinking, you packed all your stuff up once you got back to your trailer to get the next plane back to seoul.

you hadn’t even thought to tell zen until you boarded the plane.

too late now though, as you weren’t aloud your phone on the plane.

what an idiotic rule, you thought.

but perhaps it was better this way, as you could surprise zen with your return sooner than expected.

you gave into the tiredness that followed you around for the months prior, awakening to the speaker saying you’ve landed.

in your half awake state, you got off the plane and called for a cab.

it only took an hour to reach your destination, in which you got more sleep on the way there.

you thanked the driver before heading out, practically running to the front door.

you knocked, hoping to make zen believe you were only a door salesman or a mailman.

you heard some footsteps approaching behind the door in a hurried state, before the door opened and you were greeted with your future husband.

his expression changed in the speed of light once he quickly realized who you were.

you were met with a tight embrace, doubting if you could breath for a second.

zen pulled away not too long after, his excitement getting to him as he said “i didn’t think you were supposed to be home so soon!”

to that, you could only giggle as you admitted the reason behind your surprise.

zen was more than happy to see you home earlier than discussed before.

“this day is too important, we have to do something now!” zen said as he got dressed up to go out in the christmas weather.

with a small laugh, you agreed.

the rest of your day was spent going out to cafes and buying presents for the other rfa members.

and to your luck, the movie turned out a huge success.

not only in germany, but in korea as well.

things worked out for the best, you thought.

but one thing was for sure, you weren’t doing that again.

jaehee kang:

jaehee had brought up the idea of opening a cafe, to which you were 100% in on.

however, in korea you had to have a culinary certificate to own a cafe.

i dont know if thats legit or not i completely made that up

but if you had to get a certificate, you were going to get it in the best way you could.

and a college you had come across was perfect for that.

it was a good price and had a great reputation.

there was one problem however, and that was that it was located in france.

which was a 12 hour flight away from seoul.

you knew there was no opportunity like it, but you couldn’t stop yourself from being on the edge about it.

you didn’t want to leave your friends and family here for 2 years while you went off to another country on your own.

plus who knew if something would happen to you while you were aboard?

your concerns were slightly lessened after you brought up your worries to jaehee, and the encouragement she gave you was overwhelming.

she suggested for you to go for it and that she would hold everything down in seoul while helping the rfa in planning future parties.

on the upside, it would give her more time to save up more money for the opening just in cause it was needed.

with hesitation, you decided to go along with her words and study in france for some time.

you would miss each other, but you both knew it was what you two needed to ensure a sucessful future.

while you were aboard, jaehee would attend culinary classes in korea here and there.

you would keep in contact frequently, but never had the money to go back to seoul on holidays to reunite.

so once those two years had passed, you were out as fast as possible.

you loved france, but you loved your girlfriend more.

you hopped on the plane home, eager to see everyone again.

and once you arrived at the airport in seoul, the first thing you saw as you exited the plane was your girlfriend standing there, eyes focused on the doorway waiting for your arrival.

and once your eyes met, you were quick to run up to her while opening your arms to hug her strongly.

two years was such a long time to be apart, but all was well now.

shortly after, the two of you opened the cafe and were met with an incredible amount of support from the community and rfa.

now you were content to settle down in seoul with the love of your life.

jumin han:

you were very business driven, which jumin liked about you.

even having your own fashion company.

you were unlike many other women he had come across before in various ways.

but the downside to your business focused mind were your frequent business trips.

some would last a day while others would last a week.

though this recent one you were expected to take was unlike anything you had ever had to do before for work.

it suggested you stayed in china for a month as you worked out many business issues and proposals.

while your company had began trending recently, you had never expected this.

the first thing that came to your mind once reading the email was your husband.

you felt horrible when you had to leave him alone for a day, but a month?

you couldn’t even imagine how much that would hurt him.

however, this wasn’t something you could just refuse.

if you did, you weren’t sure if your company would continue standing.

and so later that night, you told jumin everything over wine.

how you didn’t want to but knew your company wouldn’t survive without it.

he didn’t know what to make of everything.

this came at the worst timing.

he needed to stay in korea for the time being for business, so he couldn’t join you in china either.

reluctantly, he supported you in your travels.

he understood your situation, but made you promise to call him every night.

which you had no problem with.

and so with a sad smile, you had left a few days later.

things were frustrating in beijing, but you at least had the comfort of your husbands voice to fall asleep to.

everyone at the office noticed jumins shift in mood as soon as your left.

yet without a voice of concern, things carried on as if nothing happened.

the day you were set to come back, jumin cancelled all plans to spend the day with you.

you needed to make up for the time the two of you lost, and you needed to rest in the comfort of your own home again.

thankfully, your company didn’t meet it’s downfall just yet.

in fact, it was now prospering.

saeyoung choi:

your day was going as it normally would.

well, as normal as a day with saeyoung can go.

yet it all changed when you got a call that your brother had gotten into a bad car accident, and the situation wasn’t looking good.

you didn’t know how to react, so many emotions and fears were overwhelming you.

you knew you were your brothers emergency contact, as he had no one else close to him in his life, so it was no question about why they called you while you were in seoul and he was in brazil.

but after learning about the situation, you quickly realized that you needed to get back to brazil as soon as possible.

they didn’t know how long he had left, and the remainder of his days would require for him to get help to do everyday things.

with your eyes barely spilling over, you told saeyoung everything.

you were met with a hug as he comforted you.

when you brought up the fact of needing to leave, he didn’t think twice before giving you his blessing (though he knew you didn’t need it).

it would be hard on him because he wouldn’t be able to join you as he was in an active mission, but he would keep in touch and make sure of your safety from countries away.

after all, he would do the same if saeran were in your brothers position.

the next day, you backed your flight to brazil, packing only what you needed.

your days in brazil passed in pain, as you watched your brother fight for his life daily.

until one day, his body gave up on him and he passed.

you were devastated.

you were on autopilot in public and breaking down in your hotel room when no one was around.

after attending your brothers funeral and a week of mourning, you began to book your ticket back to seoul.

yet in your state of heart ache, you didn’t realize the change in the countries health as the coronavirus started running through every town in the nation.

planes were unavailable and travel was banned.

now you were stuck here for the next 6 months, always hopping the next month would be better and you’d finally be able to go home.

saeyoung was on his toes all the time, not feeling the same without you.

and you missed him more and more as the days went on.

when the time finally came, you rushed to buy a ticket, though most people weren’t flying due to their fears surrounding the situation.

the plane was empty, allowing you to sneak your phone, sending a text to saeyoung.

“i’m on the plane home now” you typed.

saeyoung was overcome with joy to see your message.

though you had to isolate for 14 days, at least you were in the country and close to him.

once you got off the plane, went into isolation, and tested negative for covid, you ran to your shared home.

opening the door to be greeted with the same old smile that teased you every morning was a refreshing sight.

you ran up as he lifted you in a tight embrace, swaying you side to side in a wave of excitement.

after months of stress and anxiety, you could finally breath.

that realization alone was enough to make you burst out into tears of relief.

your feelings were contagious, as you saw saeyoungs eyes starting to water as well.

you were finally safe and sound in his protection, and that was all he could’ve asked for..

---

01:51 AST - 09/01/21

#mystic messenger #mysme #juminhan #jumin #jumin x mc #707 #saeyoung choi #saeyoung x mc #luciel choi #yoosung x mc #yoosung kim #zen #hyun ryu #jaehee kang #jaehee x mc #mystic messenger headcanons

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jaedreaminn · 3 years

Text

Office Wars

Pairings: fem!reader x Jaemin

Theme: Fluff, Mild Jealousy, playful arguments, light crack, humour, protective.

Word count:2.2k

Gist: You were always at each others throats at work and everyone knew that and was used to that but maybe there was more than just the arguments on the surface.

"Ms. Y/l/n you're typing too loudly" Na Jaemin said with his infamous smirk plastered on his face.

A collective sigh was heard across the office. Your colleagues were all used to the usual banter that took place between you and Jaemin, easily being able to tune the noise that followed.

You however found it particularly difficult to avoid the banter when Jaemin picked at you for the most ridiculous of things.

"Oh I'm sorry Supervisor Na I didn't realise your hearing aid was on" You replied, the snark to your tone didn't go unnoticed as Jaemin scoffed but you couldn't be bothered to look away from your work.

"I don't need hearing aid to hear your keyboard being murdered, the poor thing has to recieve the brunt of your anger caused by Writer Kim"

You slammed your hands onto your table and angrily spun your swirling chair in the direction in which Na Jaemin sat.

Your anger doubled as you saw him proudly smirking from his position, knowing you just gave into his taunts but you couldn't care enough since he was the one that made the low blow.

"Don't you ever get tired idoling around and causing your co-workers headaches?" You said to the smug looking boy before getting on your feet and waking to the pantry.

Jaemin smiled as he watched you dissapeare behind the wall that separates the office and the pantry.

You made two cups of coffee, calming yourself before you walked out placing one on Jaemins table and carried the other to yours and got back to your work. At this point the office was slightly accustomed to your dynamics but it still baffled them. No one understood how the two of you worked, one minute you were at eachother throats the next second you were on the same team. And they didn't even try to understand, they just went along with it.

Like right now,

"You're going to be late for the briefing if you don't hurry your pretty little fingers up" you mocked, the cheeky grin plastered on your face clearly showed how amused you were by the fact that Na Jaemin had FORGOTTEN to prepare for today's briefing as your teams supervisors in this small publishing company.

The furiously typying man let go of his lip that was trapped between his teeth to grind them together, eyes wavering for a second to glare at you before focusing on his task at hand.

You cheerily walked away, a skip in your step as you reached the meeting room waiting for your supervisor and CEO to enter, happily chattering with your colleague Joy about the small queer owned business the two of you came across on instagram because of this month.

Soon the CEO stepped in and the room fell quite, Jaemin was still not on his seat but a minute later he walked in apologising for the delay.

A rather short and surprisingly sucessful briefing later you walked back to your desk to finish of what little work you had left before you streched, slightly pushing your chair away from your desk.

"Ready to go y/n?" Joy asked coming upto you and you grinned at her, nodding.

"Don't waste time then c'mon" you heard the annoying voice of Na Jaemin say from behind you and then saw the man in question walk past you. You glared holes into his back and Joy chuckled.

You and Joy continued to chater as you made your way to the restaurant your team always eats at, to find that your entire team was already sitting there.

"I ordered what you asked me to" Your colleague Suho said to Joy who thanked him.

You took your seat inbetween Crystal and Yangyang, which also happened to be directly opposite Jaemin.

"I ordered (insert dosh of your choice) for you" Jaemin told you and the two of your stared at eachother for a few seconds and then you smiled at him thanking him.

Everyone let out a breath they didn't know they were holding at that, expecting you to get mad at him for ordering for you without you asking him to.

The wait for the food to arrive was peaceful, except for the few snark remarks you and Jaemin exchanged but it wasn't something that people weren't used to.

Upon the arrival of your food your eyes lit up. Ever since you were a kid you loved to eat, in fact you were the biggest foodie in your family.

You excitedly picked up your chop sticks ready to dig in before a voice interrupted you.

"Your food isn't going anywhere slow down or you'll burn your tongue." Jaemin said nonchalantly and you ignored him poking out your tongue at him and immediately digging in for a big bite.

As soon as the food touched your tongue you're eyes widened at the sharp sensation caused by the heat immediately dropping the serving back onto your plate as you started to pant like a dog because of the heat.

Yangyang who was next to you noticed, placing a hand on your shoulder and picking up your glass of water with his other hand.

"Careful Y/n" he warend rather uselessly after the deed was done, bringing the cup of water to your lips so that you could wash down the heat with the cooling water.

You drank the water, hands reaching out the hold the cup on your own. Once the burning sensation cooled down, you turned to Yangyang offering him a smile while thanking him.

You're attention then turned to Jaemin who sat infront of you glaring at no one in particular, expecting him to be looking smug.

You shrugged at the change in attitude as you continued your mean, this time blowing on your food before you took a bite.

Not even fifteen minutes later you felt a kick on you shin and then looked up to see Jaemin leaving, you sighed rolled your eyes and finished the food on your plate as fast as you could before dashing out back to the office. No you didn't forget to pay, the meals were handeled by the company.

You reached the office only to find Jaemin sitting on his seat pouting angrily as he typed away. You chuckled, deciding to not indulge him as you walked back to your seat and got on with your work and ignored the way Jaemin looked at you even poutier than before.

Ignoring him was a bad choice since after that he got even more annoying, dropping more files on your desk for you to deal with, making random comments about your corrections, complaining about anything and everything and you just ignored the fussy manchild with an eye roll.

"Y/n we have to go for the mandatory company diner now." Joy said to you and you looked out the window at the end of the office to see the sky becoming a dark orange hue, it was late evening.

"I still have so much to do" you whined, letting your head fall onto your desk with a thud and Joy winced, not knowing what to say.

"Stop whining y/n and just come back and get it done. I have work to do to so I can walk with you back to the office after dinner." Jaemin said walking upto your desk.

You lifted your head sligtly to look at the tall male who was looking at you, waiting for a reply to his question and you sighed head falling between your arms again.

"We have to leave now we don't have forever y/n make a choice" Jaemin said impatiently tapping his foot on the floor.

"Okay let's go!" You said suddenly jumping up and marching towards the exit. Jaemin chuckled and Joy looked at you as if you had grown two heads but then the two of them immediately followed behind you.

The company diner was uneventful. Mr. Choi on of your clients was making what he though to be flirtatious eyes at you again but you only saw it as creepy. But you were still able to enjoy you meal, sitting between Jaemin and Joy, happily chattering away.

After everyone was done eating you knew you couldn't stay to chat and you lifted you phone off the table checking the time and signalling Jaemin who nodded and the two of you bid your goodbyes.

"I can walk you if you want y/n-shi" a rosy cheek and very drunk Mr.Choi said and you gagged.

"It's Ms.y/l/n to you Mr.Choi and there's no need I'm walking her there, making sure our employee feels safe by making sure you're not around them." Jaemin said, eyes glaring daggers and the now offended drunk man.

"You" Mr.Choi yelled pointing his finger and an unimpressed Jaemin "How dare you talk to me like that! Don't you know how important I am to this company" the angry drunk man yelled.

"Mr Choil please stay professional because it isn't that hard to find good writers, especially on to replace you." Your CEO spoke up and you had to hold back a chuckle at Mr.Chois flustered face as his mouth opened and closed not able to form any words.

"If that all we'll be taking out leave." Jaemin said grabbing onto you hand and bowing at your CEO who nodded and quickly dragged you away. You quickly bowed in respects to you CEO too before you were dragged away by Jaemin.

"I felt like punching him" Jaemin said on your walk to the office, hand still holding yours.

"Me too" you chuckled at the fuming male as you walked the rest of the way in silence, hand in hand.

You immediately rushed to you desk upon reaching your office and started typing away and Jaemin lazily strolled to his seat, doing whatever he had to do.

Half an hour later and all you had to do was send out two mails and save the document you were working on, so you let yourself relax alittle slumping back onto your chair. You peaked at what jaemin was doing and smiled. "That's a good score, must have been alot of WORK" you teased and Jaemin looked embarrassed at getting caught.

"I-i was bored okay" he said avoiding your gaze and you smiled.

"Okay"

You crossed one leg over the other, leaning over your desk to send the last two e-mails and save the document you were busy correcting.

Just as you finished with your work and sat up straight Jaemin spoke "You know when a person sits with crossed legs and their legs are pointing towards you that means they like you" he said pointing at your position and you looked down to see your leg was indeed pointing at him.

"That means you like me y/n." Jaemin said cheekily wiggling his eyebrows.

And you looked at him eyes screwed as if you were judging his entire existence, which you were "Jaemin" he hummed in reply still grining, "We're engaged it would be really weird if I didn't like you" You said and Jaemins grin grew even wider and you sighed chuckling at your happy fiance.

"Yea it would be weird" he said sliding his chair towards you, crashing into you slightly and you steadied him.

"Ahh your so cute my y/n" he said pulling you into his arms and plukering his his lips trying to kiss you but you leaned away from him just to annoy him.

"Don't avoid my kisses" he huffed pouting as he tried again but you teased him again avoiding him.

"Yah! You brat give me a kiss!" he yelled and you chuckled turning you head to give him a small peck on his nose but he had other plans immediately moving his face and his lips met yours in a sweet kiss in which you felt yourself melting into. Kissing Jaemin was always calming and he always tasted sweet even thought he drank that disgustingly bitter coffee.

You slowly felt his hands snake behind your head pulling you closer lips moving in sync as he deepend the kiss, your breaths mingled as both of you felt lightweight. You got lost in eachother for a second before you slowly pulled away resting your forehead against his. He smiled at you eyes sparkling in the dim lit room.

"If someone walked in on us right now they'd have a heart attack" Jaemin joked and you chuckled. It was an unspoken rule between the two of you to keep your relationship a secret in the office and you did that by bickering. "We should tell them now though shouldn't we?" You asked and Jaemin pecked you cheek sitting up staright, "Yea and hand them the wedding invites" and you grinned, heat rushing to your cheeks, you never got used to the fact that you were to get married to Na Jaemin, your soulmate.

Needless to say when the two of you told everyone at the office the next day you were pretty sure some of them were this close to having a heart attack. But most of them Congratulated you as you stood hand in hand with Jaemin, grinning like an idiot.

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nanakah · 3 years

Text

about Ishigami, his growth and Miko's role

most people, myself included, thought at some point that Tsubame's rejection (or acceptance) could wrap up Ishigami's arc and even his past's flashbacks neatly, but Osaragi's arc suddenly revealing there was more to his relationship with Miko made me reflect more and think nah...if anything we're halfway there. It also showed glimpses of him already struggling to find his place in the world by quitting his clubs, even though he was successful at them and there was no Ootomo incident yet to undermine his self-image.

It seemed odd that despite everything he went through he still has his "hair=shield/averting eyes" theme going strong, but it makes sense if you consider even though Tsubame helped him see the way to be more accepting of people and cleared his name, his self-esteem still is super low. I spoke of this in my "sutera" meta, but to Ishigami, his life still has been a sucession of failures and almosts. At his core, he still hasn't fully opened up to people or learned to use his vulnerabilities to his advantage.

If I have grabbed your interest thus far, keep reading for more considerations!

Tsubame is kind to anyone and attempted to do good for him, but ultimately he was never fully himself around her, nor she tried/he alllowed her reaching out to the deepest parts of his insecurities. She doesn't show her own flaws to him either and to this day we get the feeling we don't know her well, just the best parts that Ishigami wanted to see. Kaguya, Miyuki and Chika contribute a lot in a sibling-like way, but there's a limit to how much Kaguya in particular can inspire him. Miko however, has scratched a little beneath the surface and has expressed an interest in helping him with that, even if he himself is still avoiding the topic. She's also more relatable to him in the sense that the rest of the stuco has a history of successes in their lives, while he was able to watch Miko's hardships and failures closely. Their panic attacks even look similar and they're always watching the other to provide backup (in a very roundabout way, at least before) when they happen.

While their personalities are fundamentally different, his arc and struggles remind me a lot of Miyamura from Horimiya and today, as I was musing on what is so different about them as of now, I believe it's how Miyamura didn't have a single *traumatic* mistake to get over, so he goes down his development road much faster. Putting it another way, it's ultimately that Ishigami hasn't yet learned to be kind to himself like Miyamura has through Hori. Like Shirogane and Kaguya are through themselves. In Miyamura's case, sympathizing with how Hori despite her strong exterior can be very fragile inside but still support him (fight for him, defend him, accept his true self, not judge him, hear him, make him feel good enough) made him feel compelled to grow stronger to protect her back.

Miko as she was at the beggining of the story couldn't provide Ishigami this sort of stability (and that's where Osaragi's "prettier story"/"you weren't there for him" reasoning fails) even if deep down she wanted to, but now after making many mistakes, learning from them and becoming more flexible, she absolutely can. Both Ishigami and Miko have deeply rooted issues that took them more than just each other to flesh out and develop, but they're very much the missing puzzle piece the other needs.

Miko still very much has room for growth as well, mainly concerning finding a middle ground between her "bad girl" and "good girl" personas that Ishigami can easily see through, as demonstrated by the consolation chapter. She tried being "bad", she attempted lying but was still saying half-truths, because her love of justice isn't just out of parental abandonment issues or loneliness - she does believe them sincerely. The moment Ishigami headpated her and shared genuine, spot-on words of concern and admiration (thus a hint of fondness), it was all over for her trying to keep up the love-warfare upper hand.

That's not actually new - Ishigami has always demonstrated he was able to see glimpses of her true self, be it teasing how she's an otaku or a closet pervert and such, he never fully bought the strait-laced image she aspired to make real. But it did take him being around her more to see she could be sweet to him and as he puts it, that smiling more is not a bad look on her. Miko says to Osaragi your true self only comes through interacting with others, so given how lonely she has always been (and how the one person close to her - Osaragi - was actually keeping things between them superficial because of her own problems), it's no surprise she's only finding out now who she is. Ishigami can help Miko find a better compromise of good/bad after both not following any rules at all for so long and recently learning that hard work can pay off. Miko immersing herself in his hobby will clash with her rigid study schedule sooner or later, and he'll know how to help her with that better than anyone else.

On the other hand, Ishigami's moral compass, romanticism (love for flowers, planing dates etc) and idealism aren't things he is proud of...yet. He protects himself with layers of cynism, especially in his first appearances, but he is always being contradictory and letting it slip how idealistic/pure he is at heart. He also is only now learning to like his outward image with things like fitness/studying and finding out it's not like he never cared about it - it's just that he was scared shitless of failure, thus never even tried hard in the first place to avoid being hurt. And as I have advocated for in the Sutera post, I expect Miko in some level to help him come to terms with seeing good in himself. Heck, even being able to game with her now and showing off how good he is and having her appreciate it is gonna do wonders to make him feel more "adequate". Tsubame's arc had a lot of him changing himself to become "better", but Miko on the other hand is trying to put herself in HIS shoes to maybe go "hey, I like you as you are. I'm trying to understand you more and put effort in for you".

Ishigami and Miko start out watching out for each other behind their backs - which instead of helping their relationship, drives them further apart because they think the other side is showing no appreciation. As the story progresses, they're slowly learning to make each other more aware of their support, and it is making them open up more in general.

They have a strong belief the other wants to be rescued and there is truth in that. Both want help and to be recognized for their efforts, but won't cry out for it. In the unplugged earbuds chapter Ishigami takes it upon himself to protect Miko's reputation in spite of himself, the election arc has him actually putting effort into the campaign just for the sake of protecting her and at first posing as a rival of hers to Shirogane only to reveal he's trying to "make Miko smile", he is constantly fending off men from interacting with her as protection (while also sounding jealous), he was way more protective of her when she was wearing that cast than needed and is now being able to openly headpat her and sounds almost like her "soothing sounds" from the days of yore lol Sure Tsubame seems like his start to becoming "a better man", but all the way back on the election, it was for Miko's sake that we first SEE him putting effort into *anything* without being coerced by anyone to take action.

And while it's more discreet compared to Ishigami's "white knight" attitude, Miko also tries hard to protect him - cheering him on during the sports festival race and wanting to console him before the stuco intervened, telling him he should study (but he thinks it's just nagging), christmas (which I'll elaborate bellow), making sure he was able to graduate middle school by actually confronting school staff and, of course, their very first meeting as recently revealed.

Many people hated the entirety of Osaragi's arc, but 232 gave very juicy info indeed. Ishigami's reason for supporting Miko from the shadows comes from admiration AND part gratitude for her attempting to talk to him and listen to what troubles him, and seeing they actually had a "falling out" argument was game changing.

He looks sad and troubled to have shut her down there, not simply angry, and so does she (there's tears in her eyes when her face is shown in the next page) - despite her black and white sense of justice at this point of the story, she still wanted to listen to him. And even after that outburst she still believed the rumors weren't real, unlike Osaragi sees it - otherwise she wouldn't have made the effort for him to be able to move on to high school. Why would she care, if she truly hated him and thought he was in the wrong?

If any further proof was needed at all that this info is important, I'm happy to say we have more. I noticed the Christmas stairs scene mirrors this exact falling out moment: "Go away"/"Suit yourself"

But this time Miko had already decided to change, had already seen the mess their relationship became the last time she did not reach out to him and thus already had their previous falling out in mind - meaning she decides to chase after him.

I don't like how the scanlations handled this scene because reading the japanese raws, my interpretation was that Miko was sounding "annoying" because she was still kinda drunk/unfiltered and freaking out when talking to Ishigami, not outright berating him like the Jaimini's box translation made it look like. She also sounds too angry after the fall, so I generally thought Viz's version (the panel shown above) was closer to the original.

"I always have to take care of you! You keep putting youself in danger. You can't make it on your own." is a better translation than Jaimini's, and also parallels better what Ishigami is often telling Miko as well (That she keeps putting herself in danger and that he has to be around to keep her in check). But with 232 in mind, I think it misses a nuance of the original line: "ほんとあんたは私が居ないと危なっかしく駄目ね" - "Honto anta wa watashi ga inaito abunakkashiku dame ne" - while I'm a novice at japanese studies, gathering from what I can read and trying to get a feel of the whole sentence, it's closer to "So it really is dangerous to you if I'm not there/ It's no good if I'm not around you". You can take that as her being full of herself, which is the route Jaimini's goes ("You'd be screwed without me") but that's too hostile - Viz's got the spirit of wanting to protect him better, but the original has an implication that she has "tested not being there"/failed being there before (due to not fully siding with him in middle school) that's absent elsewhere.

IMO the reason Ishigami's "closed his eyes" arc is not over yet is because he hasn't accepted or gotten over or fully learned from his past yet, he simply shut it down. That's why briefly during the sports festival his eyes are in plain view, then go back to their usual for the balloon gag. I'm not sure if Ootomo herself will make a comeback, may or may not - regrets are regrets and sometimes the only solution to them is letting them stay in the past. But the topic of how he saw Miko in middle school and the letter certainly are being set up to still show up in the story.

If I compare him to Miyamura again, he'd still be at the point before Miyamura's haircut - not wanting to face the parts of himself he doesn't like, not quite ready to change. Not quite ready to patch up his own wounds yet and instead silencing everything from his past.

In this sense, Miko does wonders to make him feel more confident even if he hasn't realized it yet, and she's always dropping little hints she'd like him to worry about his future not in a naggy way, but because she genuinely prays for his success. He unconsciously wants Miko to think well of him and it fills him with confidence and a more prideful image of himself he doesn't really display to anyone else, not even Tsubame - like his usages of "ore" (a more manly/confident way of addressing himself) around her (AND HER ALONE):

( I don't like the available translations to the staircase scene either, lol. Zaibatsu has conveyed the tone of the second scene up there perfectly. For the staircase line, I've seen "I'll be there to catch you" and "I'll save you" which are contextually correct, but to me the original "俺が絶��守る" - "I (ore) will absolutely protect you" carries a much more romantic nuance or ambiguity, regardless of him realizing it at that point. It's like, the title to one of the most romantic moments/songs in the CCS Clear card anime ost, for instance. OF COURSE MIKO LOVES HIM. The narrator doesn't overexplain or take apart Ishimiko's interactions like for Prezguya, but all the evidence needed is there. And I gotta add the very next chapter to the staircase one is the "eternal love" x "real love" I'm super fond of that says fate is irrelevant and to find real love you must use your head to realize/understand things, so makes the romantic subtext even greater.)

This whole affair is also making me open my eyes that I should try to study japanese more...of course I'm happy to have translations and scanlators working hard, but there is something inherently lost in adaptations because it robs you of connecting with the author's intentions unless it was the author who wrote the translation in the first place

Thinking back on Ishigami's early "i wanna die/i'm going home/don't look at me" role, it seems unbelievable we're at the point he's now able to directly confront a "stranger" (lololol) or make serious promises with so much confidence.

PLEASE DON'T END SO SOON MANGA, I NEED MORE.

( off-topic kind of, but i'm lazy to make a separate post just for it: Since I mentioned things lost in translation, I saw something on Discord about Ishigami having an unreliable narrator moment in the "compliments" chapter/Iino Miko cannot love part 4 and holy molly, it is true. He first says something akin to "You're just too beautiful" out of context, Miko HEARS IT - and that's why she looks so shocked before asking for clarification - and he DID SAY IT in the speech bubble, but after she's nice to him and he thinks back to what he said he adds a "Your handwriting is just too beautiful" to his flashback. I'm ONTO HIM. ONTO HIM I SAY. It is what he meant, but it's like his mouth betrayed him. Whether it's unconscious or denial...it totally is something. The scanlation completely skips this and had the same line both times it's mentioned.)

#kaguya-sama #kaguya-sama spoilers #meta #ishigami yu #yu ishigami #ishimiko #it's ishigami focused but i'd be a dirty liar to say i'm not at least a lil bit biased #longpost #spoilers #yes i am an overthinker and overanalyzer did u notice #horimiya spoilers #yeah i kinda mentioned miyamura lol #i'm not even procrastinating anything this time i just rly care for them #kaguya-sama meta #this is a clown here that procrastinated 3 months to write a thesis but is churning out meta after meta for manga #plz forgive typos i'm still lazy to spellcheck this one lol #ishiino #ishigami using ore again to invite miko to the dance makes this post qualify for fridge brilliance now

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metalbrainz · 3 years

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Oh boy... I don't know but the idea of Caesar being Vegapunk's son seems a little tragic for me. I mean if we see it on Vegapunk perspective, he is one of the greatest scientists the whole word had ever seen, so it's maybe obvious that he had a very lonenly life. Yeah sure maybe he had some people to talk with but consider his status... I don't thing he would be close with them. So one day he desides to make a generic modified clone of a human so he could finally have someone to understand him. And he sucessed, he made a healthy clone of a human baby (with goat horns witch is a mystery even for him) marking it one of the most wonderfull day of his life.

The first years I thing would have been really nice for Vegapunk and bb Caesar (even if Vegapunk had zero clue how to raise a baby and had panic attacks every time he lost Caesar in the lad). He was really happy watching Caesar grow up, calling him dad, showing pictures and drawings or having intrest in science or whatever project he was working on at that point. He was really happy he had a family. But then when he started to work for the Word Gorvement everything change, he was starting to have less and less time for his son to the point it would take weeks to see each other in person. He maybe tried to make up for it but seeing Caesar's sad and angry face everytime he had to live again he knew it wasn't enough.

Eventually the years when by and they drift away even further until Caesar joins the word gorvement as a scientist. Vegapunk saw it as great opportunity to reconnect with him since they'll working together. Sandly it didn't happend Vegapunk was working to project after project and with every experiment he was working on Caesar went into more dangerous experiment.

Until one day some of his colleges was shooting at him that Caesar was working on a project that could destroy millions of lifes and he had to stop him. And so he did, he fired Caesar and arrest him for his action. And he watched as the marines drag Caesar out the room, as his eyes were locked on him mixed with hate and sadness,screaming at him. And Vegapunk stood there feeling nothing as he watched the one person he loved so much leaving him thinking one thing, it was his fault...

I am so sorry it took me so long to write this😣 I just wanted to express my ideas and thoughts about those two. Anyway I hope you have a great day!

anon please my poor heart 💔💔 if u don't mind i'd like to share more thoughts about this bc it's taking over my life ;o(

i imagine what vegapunk had to go through SUCKED! just having the only person u ever loved ripped away from u like that and having them hate u for the rest of their life bc of ur own mistakes. i feel like caesar also felt the same way about vegapunk as he was also the only person who he ever loved and could really open up to, but he lost all of that and hasn't felt love ever since (well except for smiley, but i imagine he gets upset about him too). i also think that caesar turned to alcohol to repress his emotions and a way to just forget about all of it. i think his anger issues also are a result from this.

some other ideas i have about this that really just *clenches fist*:

-vegapunk started being unable to be there for caesar's birthdays bc of how busy he was with work which made caesar start to hate that day bc, well, no one ever showed up. vegapunk still got him gifts, but he was just never there. nowadays, caesar spends every birthday eating a cake he makes for himself and drinking all night (after monet's death. before he would spend it with her.)

-vegapunk didn't tell caesar about how he was born for a long time as didn't want to upset him. he eventually told him and, of course, he got upset. to think that ur not even a real person, but just some clone from an experiment.

-vegapunk had the gas fruit locked away for experimentation, but caesar managed to get a hold of it and ate it in hopes that vegapunk would pay more attention to him. he knew that he wouldn't be able to swim ever again, but it was a risk he was willing to take if it meant that he would be able to spend time with his dad again, even if it was just for experimentation.

anyways, thank u anon for sharing ur thoughts with me. if any of u also have thoughts or ideas about headcanons or anything, please, even though this is an art blog lol, send them here. i could literally talk about them all day.

#srry i just NEVER get to ramble like this to my friends #i'm glad u guys care tho :o)#gin's asks

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endversewinchester · 3 years

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Loved your post on Hunter! I was wondering if you have any spec as to when crosshair removed his chip? Thank uuuuuu

Heyy thank you so much, noonie! The answer is ABSOLUTELY!

Let's dive in below the cut, just so that it doesn't cloud the tag. Here we go

Okay. Now, let's take a look at what we have. In episode 1, the chip is 100% there and active, but fading in and out. It's when we have his exchange with Omega, about how she knew it wasn't his fault and he just couldn't control it, and also when Tarkin orders the Kaminoans to enhance it.

After that, he was fully out of control of himself, and tried to kill his siblings, all of which completely against his will.

We only hear from him again in episode 3, and by that point they are repeating the procedure, to ensure he keeps following orders. So to me, his actions in that episode, as well as anything in the time frame between episodes 1x01's ending and 1x03 was completely out of his control, including the refugees he murdered.

After that, crosshair is going to remain absent all the way until episode 8. We don't know how many times the procedure was repeated, nor do we know what he was up to in the meantime.

Sadly, we also don't have a specific indication of how much time passed since they last saw him. It could have been a few days, or even months. To me, all of those were spent with him completely under the empire's grasp, unable to stop himself or ask for help, and waiting to be rescued.

In episode 8, there's a change.

When the engine explodes, crosshair is flung backwards with such force the helmet is knocked out of his head, and he ends up with severe burns. These are both very relevant pieces of information because:

1- Inhibitor chips are placed on the clones' heads.

2- The wounds he sustained were serious enough to demand medical attention.

Now, the doctors in his squad manage to stabilize him, and he still frantically chased his team, before they managed to escape. What I'm interested in here, however, is the aftermath.

Crosshair sustained serious wounds. It meant that once he got back to Kamino, he was examined and treated, probably by a medical droid. Here, we have three options:

1) The kamino medical team tried to stabilize his chip while treating his wounds the best they could, but were not sucessful;

2) The droids prioritized his health over the inhibitor chip, which was exactly what happened to fives, and either did not try to restore it or removed it completely, in order to improve his healing.

3) Nala Se, who we've seen to be working against the empire from the start wanted him to break out and join his team, for she knew the 5 troopers together would be unmatched for the new TK troopers the empire was rolling out, and so Omega would be completely safe. Therefore she either removed his chip, or just deactivated it.

I'm personally more inclined to believe in options 2 and 3, due to specific plot points that we'd already seen under the clone wars, as well as in this show.

Whichever one of them happened, I firmly believe from this point on he was in control of his actions. But Crosshair was also hurt, and rightfully so.

His family never even attempted to come back for him, and when they did meet again, he was left behind for dead. Meanwhile, the empire had taken over his mind, but they were there offering him support, treatment, food.

I think it all severely impacted his views of relationship dynamics, and what being cared for truly was. So, in the time frame between 1x09 and 1x12, once healed, he kept playing along to their wishes.

It did not mean he stopped loving his brothers, though. Which we see in episode 12. Once he knows his squad is on Ryloth, he takes it up to his superior, because he wants an excuse to be able to go near them.

If the admiral got hold of the batch before he did, it'd be very likely they would be executed on sight. Which meant he needed to be smart, and find them first.

II'll be honest, I'm unclear if by this point he would try to escape with them or try to convince them to join the empire, as we've seen him do now on episode 15. However, he did not want them dead. And went as far as purposefully missing the shot (crosshair doesn't miss) to allow them to escape.

But with that, I think this is where heart truly broke. Now he's fully in control of himself, but his team still did not bother try going anywhere near him, or rescuing him. He thinks they see him as the enemy now, even though none of the things he did to them was his fault. It was definitely very upsetting, and it pushed him fully towards the empire, and the special treatment and protection he was receiving.

Clone troopers were no longer being produced, nor were they being assigned special missions. But he was front and center of a TK squadron, because of his inhuman shooting skills. Comfort, recognition and safety. All he needed from his family, but could not have.

Yet, he still wanted his family back. Because they were his family since he was created, and he truly loved them, no matter how much they were hurting him. He wanted them to be safe, and wanted to belong again.

The problem is, now his loyalty also lied with the empire. So the way he found to keep both was simply welcoming his family into this amazing (in his opinion) government that had always taken his side.

Anyways, this does far more than answer your question lol but I hope it clears up what I think his motives are, and why they're still valid even if he doesn't have the chip.

#the bad batch #crosshair

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

Text

The Owl House: Enchanting Grom Fright: Happy Valentine’s Gays

Happy Valentine’s Day owl ladies, gentleman and non-binary folks! It’s time to finish off this holiday in proper style with a LONG overdue review of enchanting Grom Fright and even longer overdue coverage of the Owl House. The Owl House was one of the best debuts of last year if not THE best, only in contention because Close Enough also started last year and looks to surpass regular show in terms of quality. But with stunning animation, tons of representation, and colossal worldbuilding. And given how i’m on record for thinking Star Vs went so far down the tubes they bumped into where Cthulu is sleeping, it’s nice to have another magic based show that seems to be on the right track: carefully building i’ts world, supporting cast and for today’s topic main romance. It also rather than just obliquely hint one character was bi and the other pan, actually goes out of it’s way to have a bisexual protaginst with a gay love intrest. As my good friend @jess-the-vampire has brought up quite a bit, star had plnety of options. .but no willingness to actually campaign for any queer rep, the way Gravity Falls head Alex Hirsch tried to, he still gets credit for trying, and Owl House creator Dana Terrace gets full credit for.

Terrace got her start working on Gravity Falls in line production before working her way up to directing for ducktales, being instrumental in how Webby was animated and how she moves and acts, and being the director for several classic season one episodes including “Woo-Hoo!”, “The Spear of Selene” , “Day of the Only Child!” which was one of my faviorites from season 1 and “The Beagle Birthday Massacre!”. And while I can’t 100% confirm she’s the only part responsible for starting Weblena, given she was director on an episode where a lot of the romantic subtext was in the visuals, she certainly helped so thank you Dana. Thank you a lot. Their adorable. Point is she’s a talented lady and wasn’t satisfied with directing, so she pitched her own show, combining tons of ides and stuff including of all things, Pokemon Red. I checked the article wikipedia had sourced, it was one of her happy childhood memories as it was one of the last things her dad gave her. Awwwwwww. That’s as sweet as it is painful. She’s also currently dating Alex Hirsch, something I was entirely unaware of but find also adorable. Point is i’m glad I looked into her as she’s a very nice person, and very much my kind of weirdo and i’m happy for her sucess and her singuarly weird show that sprung from that sucess.

Now that part of it’s out of the way the episode itself was an uphill battle as you’d expect. As anyone familiar with this blog is aware, but just in case your new, you tend to hear me bitching about Disney’s handling of queer represntation a LOT

For the most part Disney’s pretty bad at it: There was the string of “FIRST GAY CHARACTER IN AN X” they had going for a while.. that consisted of a character I dind’t realize was gay, a kiss I didn’t see, and a talk with a character who I honestly wouldn’t of been looking for had disney not patted themselves on the back with some giant sized hands because htey saved some pym particles for that occasion. Ducktales was unable to have Penumbra come out as gay more clearly because I don’t know Ducks can’t be day.. but they can be IMPLIED to be gay or pansexual as hard as the crew possibly can so they win anyway. Pixar was able to have a gay lead character for one of it’s sparks shorts out and even focused on him coming out of the closet and it’s very good and something I WILL give Pixar credit for... but not Disney Plus who go out of their way to not mention the lead being gay.. despite the fact the short opens with a gay space cat riding a gay space dog out of a rainbow and then it being revaled our lead is in a relationship not long into the short. My point is the idiots who won’t watch this for having gay characters are just going to turn it off, who cares what they think, why are you like this Disney. They need to do better, and be better and i’m getting tired of this shit.

That being said... this episode is a step in the right directoin as despite having to get past one obstructive asshole, not her words but damn if it isn’t the truth, as the rest of hte execs were fine with having a gay character, Terrace fought hard for it and WON, having a clearly gay character, and a clear road to a gay romace as the lead one, all because she wanted some representation in her works. So to honor this, I present this review in honor of love, effort and saying screw you to not having represntation because money. Join me under the cut and allt hat.

We open in the owl house, in the owl house, duck dodge push and shove, it’s how we show our love in the.. you get the point. Luz is learning yet another Rune, this time plant runes.. and already something I love about the series pops up: the fact Luz’s rise in skill is gradual but noticable. Each spell noticably improves in potency with time, going from simple lights to shaping them into simple constructs, and learning to control or time her spells and glpyhs so they launch she she says so, with each one getting more powerful the more she learns. And on top of that osmething I just noticed on rewatch of this episode is her tecnique in finding them evolved, something I dind’t notice the first time because I hadn’t fully caught up and checked this one out to see if Disney would actually let them go through with it.. and they did. Point is her first spell is found by accident, her second by realizing how her magic works fundemntally, both require skilled deduction and on the fly thinking and casting, so she’s already pretty skilled.. but now sh’es ACTIVELY seeking out a new spell here for the first time. She knows how she gets them, she knows each school is tied to a form, and she likely got the plant from williow since that’s her thing and she’s a saint. A demon but also a saint. They can have those too. It’s what I assume relicor is.

I miss that goblin demon bat man. Point is it shows an evolution in Luz’s thinking: while it’s a subtle thing she took a more proactive approach this time even if it took a lot of practice.. and it pay soff as by the time of her next rune, while it’s once again sorta handed to her she has less time to learn it, almost none, and finds it singed onto a ball.. and learns it effortlessly to the point where by the next episode it’s a crucial plot point. IT’s subtle but clever character progression, and stuff I really enjoy, showing our hero going from a bit inept but not helpless or incomptient.. to a force to be reckconed with and far more clever and strategic than yo’ud expect given her sometimes reckless and almost always happy go lucky attitude.

Luz worries teaching King about the internet was a bad idea because he gets excited about a literal cat fight which .. yeah... it was a bad idea but not because of that.. but because next he finds someone saying the earth is flat and she wisely yanks it away. It’s.. very sad that the absolutley maddening and easily debunked flat earth theory is still RELATIVLEY more sane than the stuff we’ve had pop up during the trump era and the cornoavirus pandemic.

But one of the main conlficts of the episode pops up as Luz’s mom messages her and Luz can’t bring herself to tell her anything and just sends a thumbs up. I do think this episode helps even things from the pilot a bit as it was a bit lopsided: While I got that Camillia was genuinely struggling with how to deal with Luz, and was offered an out and had to take it... the fact she sees NO problem with the normalcy camp, which comes off intentioanlly or not a sa parallel to conversion camps or camps to make autistic kids “Normal”. And as someone whose both bisexual and autistic, I naturally relate to luz way more as someone whose intrests sometimes just don’t quite fit with everyone else, and who dosen’t get how bad some of their actions were. THat’s why this episode feels like a necessary course correction: Luz is shown to genuinely love her mama and feel guilty.. but we see camilia genuinlely loves and supports her daughter a bit more. While it was clear from the pilot this shows it more, with her genuinely just wanting to know her daughter’s okay and checking up on her, and giving me the feeling that possible consequences or no if something bad WAS happening or she didn’t hear from her for a long time, she would’ve drove up there to get her. It feels like the writers realized the implications they accidently created and wanted to fix it, though I can’t say for certain. But if so good on you for course correcting, not every show does that.

But King encourages her, telling her she’s doing the right thing by lying and to “trust the demon on your shoulder”. Keep this in mind for later, but that joke is great on it’s own. But soon i’ts time for school and Hooty.. barfs out Luz’s books for her.

I haven’t been this disturbed since.. (Looks at the clock) About 2 maybe three hours ago when I watched a man have, if apparently shorter than the oriiginal cut as I wanted to see everyone else’s reactions dammit, sex with hiis car which was possesed by the mad ghost of his dead wife. Because that’s the kind of stuff i’m into when i’m not reviewing stuff. And before that Tinky.. just everything about tinky.

I do not have enough time to get into TInky here or why he exestially horrifies me. Or why Jeff blim is a living god. I will save that for a proper review if I have the time tomorrow. Point is I saw a lot today and that still tops it. Willow and Gus are likewise grossed out and want to leave.

Cut to school where Luz wonders what’s with all the decorations.. that remind me of this honestly

And frankly given the whole state of the boiling isles it REALLY wouldn’t surprise me if the decorations were indeed well cooked faces. But i’ts Grom time, which means elaborate gromposals (Some Dude asks Skara out with a beating heart and an elaborate medical proposal.. which.. points for effort. And for using an actual heart. Couldn’t get one for mine. ), dancing and someone being chosen for Grom Queen. WHich Willow hints isn’t as nice as that sounds. Before we can get into that though Amity bumps into them and gets into a tizzy before meekly greeting “Luz.. and Co”. which.. not going to lie.. is my faviorite gag of the season. Just htw way she adds them and just the way Willow and Guz both smile widely at it as if to say “That’s us!”. Amity drops a note and snatches it back. This will be important later, you all know why, point is Amity becomes Grom Queen.. and is heavily depressed with Luz following her to find out why. At the gym.. she does indeed ifnd out why: Turns out Grom is not some mutation of an earthname but is based around a horrifying entity lurking beneath the isles, Gromethious the Fear Bringer, who emerges from his slumber once a year and must be fought back and brings out his target’s greatest fears. Just like groundhog day only with less time loops and rodent abuse. Amity is scared of hers, and i’ll obviously get into this more later, and Luz simply suggests asking bump to opt out and Amity appricates the support. Awwww.

Luz heads home and we find out Eda is chaperoning and King is mcing. Eda is also rocking a suit. Just damn girl, damn. But Luz considers taking her place.. and gets laughed at, with Eda assuming she’ll have to save her and King just being kind of a dick. I mean he’s a loveable thoroughly cuddly dick but he’s still a dick... just more like a stuffed plushie of one. So basically exactly like Tinky. Look I mention him more than once in this review he dosen’t put me in the bastard box. It’s a great system. Naturally this makes Luz more determined than ever to prove herself and she finds Amity in the night, with Amity having been unable to get out of it.. and Bumps a resonable guy, he just wants a substitute and no one wants the job.. except Luz who galdly volunteers and insists ntohing scares her before the giant spider on the back of her head proves otherwise. Because of course it does, spiders are fucking terrifying. Kill then all.. except the pokemon ones. Galvaltula are sweethearts. As are Ariadoses. Sweethearts who can elctorcute or poison you but still.

So the next way Luz begins preparing.. and by that I mean it’s time for training. Sadly we don’t get an episode of Luz and Amity getting trapped in an 80′s fashion montage... I mean yes Rise of the TMNT also did that plot the same year, but we had two diffrent plots about someone getting trapped in an eldtrich sitcom and a THIRD this year, all entertaingly unique. Though we do get Luz pulling out an otter suit that’s adorable and she sadly still hasn’t worn yet. “This one says i’m an otter, with a dark side”. She also got thrown out of a school dance for.. wearing an otter suit. Okay the other things we saw in the pilot were understandable but htis is just.. baffling. Who cares what you wear to a dance as long as it isn’t horribly racist of nothing at all.

Damn you flanders and your glorious ass. Point is Amity shows up and threatens hooty’s life because.. he’s hooty. The fact he isn’t dead already is a testiment to how badass he is and how much money he’d cost Eda to replace. Owl Tubes don’t come out of a stygian hole in the unvierse every day you know. That’s only every three years. It’s basic styigan owl tube science.

But Amity wants her to be ready and that she’ll have to face her greatest fear.. and cue hooty popping up, poking amity in the face and asking if she wants to know her greatest fear. Really he can clearly hear everything in the house given he heard that, so he heard the death threat he just chose to ignore it. That.. was a mistake. And by mistake I mean we get a hilarious cut to the outside of the house as Luz tries to stop her love intrest from murdering her second mom’s tube monster. The result is some bandages and an eyepatch. To be fair that last one was just flaring up from a previous beating.

For this solem task of training, Amity has brought in her local disaster bisexuals.. aka her twin siblgins Eldric and Elmyra, whose greatest fears are dying alone and being stuck with Eldric. Both understandable. They conjur luz’s greatest fears which are.. some of the funniest shit I heard all year.. and also very relatable. Human souls in cat bodies, which is genuinely terrifying good job Luz, Jerks on the internet who mansplain things, relatable, and soy milk.

But Amity knows this is just the openign act. it needs to be something deeper.. so while Luz dosen’t realize it’s probably her mom issues she brings up her issues with her other mom: that Eda dosen’t think she can do this. Hence we get a giant eda putting Luz in a babychair. Before we can unpack how wrong that sentence sounded, Eda comes out, and marvels at how hot giant her is. But she’s quickly distracted from sex with a giant version of herself, which is not an easy feat, by the relization “Wait Luz is going to fight grom isn’t she.. fuck i’m going to have to save her”, though Luz holds firm on doing it to prove she’s fine and dosen’t need to be saved constantly. it’s a good conflict. Eda IS right that Luz is not ready for this alone, that she’s overcompensating and that Eda would, in normal circumstances be the one to rescue her. As we’ll see it’s not her who does it but still, were this any other foe she probably would be. But Luz’s motivations are equally understandable: She wants to help her friend not have to do this and she wants to prove she can do it. She just wants her mentor, the only person in her life up to meeting her that GNEUINELY supported her in magic to respect her. To have faith in her and actually see how far she’s come. And given how her own mother writes off her dreams, if not unrealistically, and before this she had no friends or support system to speak of outside her mom, it’s easy to see why this is so improtant to Luz: she just wants to make the one person in her life whose ever support her actually think it was worth it when in truth Eda already thinks it does and just dosen’t want her to die.

She’s just not good with talking to her or not condescending to her as her own ego is stacked sky high, probably because the whole curse thing meant Eda was an outcast by default and the system wants to either chain her to one form of magic and one only or shackle her to them as a hired goon. Her ego, while justified, is also a defense mechanism: a way to shield herself from the fact almost no one cares about her and one of the few people who DOES, dosen’t care what she wants or needs. Once the curse happened she lost just about everything and had to rebuild and thus build up walls around herself and kept everyone else at arms length till Luz changed her for the better. It’s just a tragic clash of two wills both with similar problems but both unwilling to talk about them.

But with time up, our heroes need to get to the diggity dance. So they indeed do and we get some fun sight gags, Willow makes corsages, that one girl with the cresent head somehow ended up with Mathomule and is not happy, as anyone who ends up with him should. And it’s time for Luz to face her destiny.. in a tux with a tutu because of course, and Amity likes it because also of course.

IT’s time to rumble, with King getting nervous due to eda’s prodding about mcing since his co-mc gus is really good at it, and introducing our champion.

No wait sorry he’s still trapped in Mojoworld. no it’s still Luz who shows off a seasons worth of skill by easily dispatching the first few fears and saying to grom let’s finish it.. before grom puts a tentacle on her head.

It’s to downlaod her fear.. which is Camillia. Granted we could all see it coming but still Luz obviously can’t fight her own mother or her own overwhelming guilt.. her mom did hurt her.. but she gets why and just loves her and wants her to be proud but dosen’t know what to do: tell her the trutha nd possibly loose a happy and fufilling life or wait until it all blows up. It’s a painful choice. So luz and king end up running. King runs first because he can’t handle it and Gus talks him back into the groove while Luz runs away because she can’t fight her own mom, understandable, and Gus encourages king to lead the crowd which he does. Amity and Eda follow Luz.

So Luz is backed down, facing down a monster tha’ts going to go on to everyone else next if she fails... and Eda prepares to interfere.. but it’s AMITY who faces her fear and dives in. And we find out just what her fear was as grom turns into a humanoid shape and rips the letter in half.. it was a grom invitation. Though conviently the who it’s adressed to was ripped out.

And yeah not going to save this one: It’s Luz. You know it I know it I didn’t even hide it in the intro. Even before the reveal in a bit it was obvious. But it also makes perfect sense. I’ve avoided talking about her character arc up to this point because I was waiting for now. Amity’s growth is the third major arc of the season behind Luz’s slow learning of magic and eventually induction into hexside and eda’s curse, which I lump in with Lilith chasing her since both were mildly entertwined and then entirely are once the reveal hits in the finale. When we meet her she’s an outright bully.. but we slowly see there’s more there. That she’s not really HAPPY or content, is contstantly under pressure by her family name, is outright bullied by her own siblings who don’t understand her. So Luz coming in, seemingly only being intrested in magic because i’ts neat.. understandably bothers her. She’s not a great person, bullying her old best friend because tha’ts what’s expected and being close with outright bullies because of that.. but it’s through Luz she starts to grow, realizing Luz is genuinely nice and genuinely sorry for any trouble she caused Amity, and evne then both cases were causaed by Amity’s own dickishness and outside forces, so it’s easy to see why she defrosts faster. Her siblings realize they’ve genuinely hurt her, and actually try to be good siblings from then on and help her, and slowly Amity learns to truth luz, trust in her, and accept her... and thus accept her feelings for her. There are gradual hints she’s growing attracted to her.. but her walls had to come down first, and it wouldn’t of worked from the outset. The show cleverly has the two build a genuine friendship, two opposities who work well together, so when feelings do happen it feels natural. It’s not “I’m in love with this person because I have to because you can’t be friends with someone your attracted to” bullshit or anything like that, cough star vs cough, it’s just well built catching feelings. I’ts how this kind of thing SHOULD go: niether went in intending for this to happen.. it’s just happening.

And Amity’s reluctance is painfully understandable, as Luz is the ONLY friend and support she has. Sure she and willow are patching things up, but WIllow would understandably choose luz over her and she’s terrified of loosing the one good thing in her life. Of course Luz would either say yes, and probably will some day, or let her down gently, she’s nice.. but it’s also understandable to be afraid that someone won’t take the reveal well. I’ve been there trust me, it’s easier when you let it out even if you get rejected, but I get it being hard to let out because you don’t want to loose a friend. I did not, and niether would she, but I can see why she wouldn’t want ot take the plunge. At least not yet. We’ll see this summer hopefully.

But we do get a shiptastic, gorgeously aniamted scene of the two dancing an fightin gin perfect synch, combinging luz’s new use of plant magic with amity’s mastery of abominations resulting in the two utterly decimating grom, likely in part because with two fast moving targets he can’t get a lock on and likely nees more fear and mass to attack multiple targets at once. Or just more tendrils. it’s a quick, beautful sequence that’s utterly glorious, being framed as romantic as any hetero scene of the type and rightfully so. A triumph and well deserving of this praise.

Our heros have won, get crowns, and King gets praise. All is well.. except Luz drops the crown once she gets home because she feels like she failed and feels lost about her mom.. though at least king gets it “I’m king and queen, best of both things!”. You tell em sister.

So we end with Luz genuinely responding to her mom, with some montage stuff as we see Gus and Willow poke a fear blob, willow fears bugs, understandable and Gus fears clowns...

Also understandable. Though I didn’t put up a bug picture because

And Amity looks out folornly into the night. Camilla responds to Luz.. and mentions letters.. which while Luz brushes those off.. we see someone sent them. And by someone I probably mean king since we now know only eda and him had acess to the portal, and given he was actively encouraging her to lie.. yeah i’m supscious. But we’ll see next season. For now this episode is fan fucking tastic, showing off tons of character development, being representative and sweet as all hell.. and being really funny. Tons of great gags in this one including the turtle guy from an earlier episode being forced to be adisco ball. This is easily the series best so far and if you haven’t checked it out, please do it’s fantastic as is this show. Check both out. Until the next rainbow i’ts been a pleasure. Tommorow more disney shenanigans this time with pete. And also more of this possibly we’ll see what I get done.

Goodnight everybody!

#the owl house #lumity #luz noceda #amity blight #willow park #gus #eda clawthrone #king #principal bump #grometheious #enchanting grom fright #lbgtq+#disney #disney plus

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sunflowercanyonx · 4 years

Text

There is nothing that angers me more than hypocrisy. Being a 1D fan for 5 years and now a solo harrie. I see it all the time.

I want to address the recent situation on twitter. For years, Louies and Larries have dragged people off their accounts and manipulated them. They play the victim constantly. In fact if someone in harry’s fandom ‘messes up’ they are brutally attacked. However there is a pattern if one of their update accounts is insensitive they have this ‘it’s okay!! you did nothing wrong’ energy. They preach mental health and only apply it to themsleves. They call us toxic just for promoting Harry and ‘bragging’ about his sucess. I used that word because in their eyes if we’re proud of harry we’re rubbing it in his face because he came from the same band that louis did.

This has been going on for years. Here are some examples of when larries/Louies took it too far.

Starting off with the most recent and drive for this post, @/HSDaily on twitter. HSDaily are a group of girls running one of the most popular harry update accounts. They have good representation within their account consisting of LGBT+ members and Black girls.

I won’t say job because i’m aware, stan twitter is not a job however they do work extremely hard. Their ‘role’ on the account is to provide updates but with their large following, also promote Harry and his music. So when they asked harry’s fans to do a tiktok challenge on Tiktok the other day louies were not happy. They thought this was stealing Louis’ fans ideas and unfair because it was meant to be a ‘louis’ thing.

Firstly, i’d like to say that every artist and their fandoms promote stuff on tiktok. But secondly, Harry is not in one direction and neither is Louis. So why,,,, does this take the attention of Louis? surely if you have confidence and faith in your face it wouldn’t matter what other artists are doing. Tell me why hsdaily lost thousands of followers in 24 hours but a popular louis account that was exposed for tweeting child porn barely lost any? @/KingLWTPromo btw. BECAUSE they don’t care about real issues. They only care because it’s a harry account. they associate all harries as toxic and want to bring him down so much because he outshines their fav. They preach about not comparing them yet everything harries do they have an issue with.

Louies are mad at HSDaily (which includes black people) For not stanning Louis. They are a harry update account. They are not obliged to do anything wirh your fav. And if he makes them feel uncomfortable you don’t have a right to overstep their feelings. They are so mad one individual even went out their way to make false claims agaisnt hsdaily.

I don’t know what people expected out of making these claims. OF COURSE they were going to defned themsleves. If someone was calling you homophobic wouldn’t you do the same? I’m currently unaware on this girls situation as there has been rumours going around. Some are saying she faked her suicide, some aren’t so I won’t comment on that. However she made a fake claim against hsdaily. they defned themsleves. And now they are getting the blame for her apparent ‘suicide’ ?

I’m sorry whAT. these people are preaching be kind and mental health is important yet have trended hashtags and instantly put the blame on hsdaily. The sad thing is this is nothing to do with the girl. This is them hating the idea of Harry and his platform. They hate this account has so much attention and is even followed by the official HSHQ account. They aren’t even cancelling this account for the right reasons. The sad thing is this all started because they were upset over hsdaily doing a tiktok challenge for HARRY.

statement from hsdaily below:

I think the fact that Louies are blaming someone else for someone’s suicide says it all. What does that say about you as a person? stop preaching for people to talk about mental health if you’re degrading and pulling someone else done. Stop saying shit then ending your sentence with TPWK and thinking it justifies what you’ve said.

These Louies and larries attack people, attack harry, attack harries then when these people defend themsleves they are always ruled out as the toxic ones and i’m so sick of it. it’s so babyish. 11 year olds.

The following screenshots show a pattern of when these people have done this to big platforms in the past. they are vicious and toxic if you don’t agree with them. One even involved larry... harry and louis don’t even agree with your ship and you don’t treat them like that so why would you treat an innocent man like that?

This has to be noticed. These people are constantly calling Harries toxic yet NEVER take responsibility for their own actions. This is so embarrassing for them. They really don’t care that they have tantrums over stupid shit all the time and drive people off their accounts and away from what makes them content.

I’m so done with arguing with them. I’m so done with them making everything about harry deeper than it is. Making his fans out to be bad by just supporting him. I’m so done with them associating Harry with a non existence ship and i’m DONE with the way they treat people and get away with. You think because your fav talks to people like shit as a joke it’s a personality trait.

There is no care for the way these people have mentally affected others. There is absolutely nothing I can say to sort it however because they’ll never stop. they constantly have an issue with harry having his own fans. so from this point forward we move on.

we ignore their tweets

we block them

we don’t give them the attention

giving them attention is affecting too many people now. they get away with so much shit, but that’s Louis’ fandom. harry has harries who are here to support him. if they want to support harry, good for them. But the more we leave them alone the less attentjon they’ll get. Louis can’t make a charting song. If so many of them can put this energy into hating trending hashtags and being vicious surely they could put that attention into streaming their fav? i mean there seems to be lots of them on twitter yet silence on the charts.

I have no words for what’s happened over the last 24 hours. I wish louies cared about important issues and had morals but they don’t. Harries are successful in calling harry out when they need too.

Stop driving people of their accounts because they don’t agree with you. weirdos.

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fanxyblog · 4 years

Text

NO MONEY IS WORTH LOOSING YOU~ DPR REM

Request: How about a bet au with dpr rem (scotty) if you write for him if no then bloo please with a fluffy ending please

Picture comes from Scott's instagram ( @dprrem)

A/N: I wonder why there aren't any gifs for this man. I mean he is hot af. Anyway I finally wrote this ( was the hardest one so far because I totaly didn't know how to start writing this). I'm sorry you needed to wait for so long for that one and I hope you gonna like it.

Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of sex

Word Count: 988

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE I'M SORRY FOR THE MISTAKES

Saturday. A day you have been always spending with your fiance. No matter what was happening, Saturday was the day free from work for you and Scott. At the beginning of your realationship it was hard to get him away from work for even an hour but after three years you managed to turn it into whole day which was a big sucess. However this Saturday was different becasue you and Scott were catching up with DPR. You haven't seen the boys for some time because they were constantly working, so when Christian invited everyone to his house for a small gathering between the closest people it made you really happy.

"Baby, are you ready ? We need to head out if we don't want to be late" Scott's head pooped out behind the door while you were putting on your earrings.

"Yeah, I'm almost done" you turned around to him and gave him a warm smile. You clipped the earing on your left ear and got up immediately to put on your shoes.

" You look stunning" you blushed at the compliment. Even tought you were dating Scott for three years now, he was still making your heart go crazy.

You pecked your boyfriend's lips as in saying thank you for his sweet words.

"We should really go now" you said and kissed Scott one more time.

"Yes, we should " he grabbed keys to his car.

Arriving to Christian's took you less than forty minutes which was a really good time considering the fact that he lived on the other side of Seoul.

You and Scott were the last ones to get there which gave Cline and Cream opportunity to tease you two.

"Oh look who decided to show up "

" It took them so long because they had sex before coming" they had a lot of fun in making jokes about yours and Scott's relationship but it was never a problem to you. You liked that side of DPR boys, the one showing that they aren't all that mature as it might have seemed.

"It nice to see you too boys" you smiled at them and sat between Christian and Dabin across from your boyfriend, you sent him a smile.

Time with them went by really fast. You were laughing, eating and drinking soju as always . Everyone seemed happy. Atmosphere got even better when Dabin started to tell a story from his childhood to which Cline completly disagreeded.

"YAH!!! WHY ARE YOU LAYING? IT WASN'T LIKE THAT"

"THE HELL YOU SCREAMING AT ME BRO"

Everyone in the room was dying out of laughing at this little fight that occured between the two. That is when you decided to go to bathroom. Your legs were a little bit sore from sitting which made getting up a little bit harder.

You haven't spent a long period of time in the bathroom before you went back to the living room to join the rest.

You were already going into living room, when you got stoped in your track by the conversation that had a place at that moment.

" You should thank us, you know!" you reconized that this voice belonged to Cream, he was triping over his own words which was a sign of him being slightly drunk.

"Thank you? For what?" You could sens a smile in Scott's voice when he said that.

"If i wasn't for that bet we made you would never asked Y/N out and she wouldn't be your fiancee now"

"What bet?" All of the boys got pale at the sound of your voice. Scott's head immediately turned torwards you and the sight of tears welled up in your eyes completly destroyed him.

"Y/N ... Baby " he tried to come near you but it was immposible.

You didn't even know how you got out of Christian's apartament. Tears that were running down your face made seeing what was infront of you difficult

"Y/N!! BABY WAIT" Scott screamed at the top of his lungs. He runned after you, but you didn't want to stop, you didn't want him to touch you or talk to you.

A loud sob esceped your lips, you were trembling which made you slow down.

That made possible for Scott to catch up to you. You got trappted between his strong arms, he turned you around anh hugged you. You were hitting him in order to get away from him, your sobs even louder than they were before. He didn't let you go.

It took you a while to calm down, you were still in Scott's arms which was something you absolutely hated by you at that moment.

"At the beginig it was all a bet..." Scott's soft voice ripped the silence between you two. You wanted to stop him from talking, you wanted to curse at him and never see him again, but something inside you was telling you that if you did so you wouldn't be happy at all.

"But then... when I got to meet you, when I've spend time with you... it... it wasn't a bet anymore because I have fallen for you so fucking hard. I never even tought that I could love anyone as much as I love you, no money is worth loosing you." He sobbed into your neck.

At this point both of you were a one crying mess, you were hurt and angry and dissapointed, but you loved him and you knew that if it really was only a bet you two wouldn't be preparing your wedding. No matter how your realationship started what matters is where it's heading

"You won't lose me, just don't be a dick anymore" you laughed trought tears and looked up at him.

Yeah, you did love him quite a lot

#khiphop imagine #khiphop scenarios #khiphop oneshot #khipkhop #dpr live #dprian #dpr cream #dpr ian #dpr we gang gang #dpr rem #dpr christian #dpr cline #dpr #DPR #dream perfect regime #dream perfect regime imagines #dream perfect regime scenarios #scott kim

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imaginary-portal · 5 years

Text

Resistance

Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Y/N = your name

Y/L/N = your last name

Masterlist

Enjoy :)

————

You step out onto the London streets, clutching your coat closer for warmth on this rainy day. You can see your breath in the air as you walk to the nearest coffee shop. You step in line and order your usual coffee with a muffin. You walk back outside and down another block to get to work. You work for a British marketing team for Marvel Studios. It is a lot of fun, but you have to keep so many secrets about the job. Anytime you start a new project you sign contracts to keep things underwraps until the company offically releases it. You enter your office building, show your badge to the woman at the front desk, and enter the elevator. When the bell rings for your floor you take in a deep breath to focus your mind for a long day of hard work. You step out the elevator and go into your office. You take off your coat and put it over the back of your chair. You sit down in the chair and log on to your computer. As you take a bite of your muffin, you see out your office window Tom Holland and Zendaya walking with a team of people. Looks like you have guests today.

You don’t even get halfway through your muffin when your boss comes into your office asking you to meet her in the conference room. You bring your coffee with you, alongside your notebook and your pen. You walk to the conference room and see your boss by herself. She looked a wee bit stressed which is out of her norm. “Okay, we have a team of people visiting for some marketing pitches, then in a small group, including you, will vote on the best one. Then you are going to lead the project with a team.” You nod. “Sounds good. Thank you for this opportunity. Where shall I sit?” She points right next to her seat. You place your items down in front of you, and a group of people enter the room. You shake hands and introduce yourself to everyone. In particular, you remember the third to last person. “Good morning, I’m Y/N Y/L/N.” You shook the handsome gentleman’s hand. “Pleasure to meet you. I’m Tom Hiddleston.”

Everyone gets settled and your boss starts the meeting. Everybody runs their pitches and you take vigorous notes. The fourth pitch was your favorite so you put a star next to it. When the meeting ended, everyone left except your boss, Tom Hiddleston, his manager, two of your boss’s assistants, and you. Your boss starts the conversation. “Okay, Mr. Hiddleston. I would like you to speak first. What are your thoughts?” Tom speaks about how he favors the second pitch, given how well he knows his character, Loki, this pitch best sets up the kind of path he wants to see for him. You couldn’t help but notice how when he speaks he often adjusts his glasses and plays with his beard. “Thank you, Mr. Hiddleston. Next, Ms. Y/L/N. What do you think?” You sit up a little more straight. “Well, while I think the second pitch is interesting, I believe the fourth pitch is the most logical, given the kind of work our team is going to have to put into this project, it is the most plausible and the most likely to attract the broadest audience.” Tom and his manager take a short moment to talk separate from the group. The manager uses a notebook to cover their faces. You look at your boss, who gives you a thumbs up. You don’t know how to feel about that. “Okay.” His manager says. “We’ll settle for the fourth pitch, so long as we can tweak it a smidge to meet Mr. Hiddleston’s requests.” You click your pen. “All right, let’s see what we can do for you. What requests might you have?” Then Tom starts listing them. They were all pretty small and simple things so you or your boss didn’t have to shut any of them down. His most important request was that he could be more involved in this project than he usually is. Your boss would have to consult her boss to make sure that was okay, but she said she has confidence they will let him join the team as he pleases. During the conversation, you and Tom made frequent eye contact because you two did most of the talking. After the meeting ended, Tom and you shook hands again. You said “Thank you for coming today, I am excited to work with you on this project.” He smiled. “Thank you making room in your schedule to do this. I am excited as well.”

A few weeks went by and you planned out the project almost entirely. It was now ready for execution. You contacted Tom’s manager to tell him that the project is ready to begin and Tom is welcome to join whenever he can. After the project was started for three days Tom paid a visit. The team and you were stuck, arguing over how to do something. It was great to have a fresh pair of eyes to give an opinion. Tom ended up siding with the option you were siding with, and that ended the dispute. You then split into subgroups. Your group consisted solely of Tom and you, and that was by chance because everyone chose their groups. Anyway, it was good to catch him up to speed on things. “I got to hand it to you, Y/N. You’re doing a very good job.” You smile. “Thank you, but it is a group effort, I am just the leader.” You flip through some papers on your desk. Tom steps closer to your desk and speaks in a lower tone. “Well what happens if something were to go wrong? Who is likely to get the most blame?” You mouth ‘me’ without looking up from the papers. “Exactly, so then if things are going well, you should get the most credit as well.” You shrug. Tom laughs, which causes you to look up at him. You noticed the glimmer in his eyes when he laughed. “You can’t take a compliment, can you?” You huffed out a laugh. “I guess not. There are always things to improve on.” You go back to your papers. “I appreciate that you are interested in some of the behind-the-scenes work. It’s not something you see everyday.” You put the papers in a stack and look up at Tom. He smiles. “Yeah, I like to be involved with my character, and this project makes a big impact on his future.” He adjusts his glasses. You take in his presence for a moment. He stood with perfect posture, looking all fine and sophisticated. Your phone rings, breaking you from your unprofessional trance. You answer the call. It was your boss, asking you to do something for her after your lunch. You write it down on a sticky note and end the call. The call reminded you that you can take your lunch break now. You get up from your chair and grab your coat. “Lunch time.” Is all you say. You grab your set of keys and your wallet. “Y/N, shall we have lunch together?” Tom asks. You look up, surprised like a deer in headlights. “Uh, sure. Why not?” You smile, hoping to soften your impression on him.

After you clock out, the two of you leave the office and enter the elevator. Things get quiet for a moment. Your heart races a little. “Do you have a place in mind?” You ask. Tom shakes his head. “No I do not. Do you?” You nod. “There’s this place on the corner, it has good lunch food. But if you don’t want to go there we don’t have to...” Tom interrupts you. “No, we can go there.” The elevator dings and you exit the building and off into the streets. You walk to the restaurant on the corner. You get a table and order drinks. You both searched the menus for a meal. Once you ordered you got to talking. You talk about your hometowns and your jobs. The food arrives and you get to eating. Tom liked the food which was a relief. Towards the end of the meal, Tom says “Y/N, you’re a career woman, huh?” You smile. “Yeah, I guess I am. It must be really obvious.” Tom shakes his head. “But that’s a very good thing. I admire that very much.” You blush and look down. “Well thank you. I also admire your work ethic.” You look up and you and Tom both smile at each other. Tom reaches over the table and puts his hand on yours. You feel the warmth of his hand for a few seconds but then you pull your hand away. “Um, I’m sorry Tom.” You frown. “No. I’m sorry Y/N, I overstepped.” The waiter comes and gives you the check. You take out your wallet. “I can cover it.” Tom offers. “No, it’s okay I got it.” Tom gently takes the check out of your hands. “I’m sorry, but I insist.” You felt a wave of guilt wash over you. When Tom finishes with the check, you get ready to leave. While on your walk back to the office, you apologize to Tom again. “I’m sorry about that, in the restaurant. It’s not that I’m not interested, it’s just not the right time.” Tom accepts your apology, but doesn’t make eye contact with you.

Working in the office with Tom got real awkward after that lunch flop. You tried collaborating with others on the project, but you still had to work with Tom. You were all flustered and you still felt guilty for pulling your hand away. Thus, communication amongst the group became increasingly difficult, and you had to make everyone break for the day to recompose yourselves for tomorrow. You felt bad because you kind of scorned the entire group, and ended another half hours worth of potential work, and it was mainly your fault because you were distracted. You left to go to your office. One assistant got you a cup of coffee and you took a breather. You got a knock at the door, and you looked up. It was Tom. You could tell he was being extra careful, as if he was walking on eggshells. “May I come in?” You say yes, and Tom enters. He takes a chair and pulls it over to your side of the desk. You had your elbows on the table to prop your head up. You were massaging your forehead. You weren’t quite near tears, but you were visibly stressed. “Y/N, what is wrong?” Tom whispers. You let out a deep breath. “I’m just trying so hard to focus right now.” You hear Tom swallow a lump in his throat. “Y/N, is it because of me? I didn’t mean for this to happen.” You shrug. “I don’t know.” Tom puts a hand on your shoulder, sending tingles down your spine. You move your shoulder back so his hand slides off. “Y/N, do you want to know what I think?” You ask him what. He replies “I think you are a sucessful and talented person, and so much that I think you should cut yourself a break and stop resisting to something you may want.” He pries your hands off your forehead and holds them in his. You had no choice but to look into his blue eyes now. “I think that if I can read body language correctly, you’re interested in me. I think you should give me a chance, Y/N. I think you have already gotten yourself so far in life that you should reward yourself, and let someone special reward you too. Y/N, I will be that special someone, if you let me.” Your heart melted from his kind words. “Okay.” You say after a few seconds. “I’ll stop resisting so much. I’ll give us a try.” Tom cracks a smile and you smile back. Tom wraps his hand around the back of your neck and presses your forehead onto his. You got extreme butterflies in your stomach. You felt his breath on top of your lips. Tom leans in closer and kisses you, short and sweet. Your hands cupped his cheeks, finally getting to feel the texture of that attractive beard.

#tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston #imagine #imagines #fanfic #marvel #mcu #mcu imagine #marvel imagine #loki imagine #loki #crush imagine

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