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#like yeah something ‘interesting’ did happen
candylix · 2 days
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great minds think alike | bang chan
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A sequel to blow my mind, read that one first! Pairing • Chan x GN!Reader Summary • After failing your test, you decide to go to the library to study. But when you get there, you see Chan. He wasn't the reason you failed, but he definitely didn't help. You said you weren't going to read his mind again, but after the first incident, he hasn't left your thoughts. It couldn't hurt to see what he's thinking about this time, right? Genre • college au, fluff, smut WC • 2.6k Content • sequel to blow my mind, no pronouns used but reader does have a vagina and breasts, mind reading, dirty thoughts about: asking you out 🥰, public sex, groping, thigh grinding, clit stimulation. Chan has an exhibitionism kink. Indented paragraphs indicate what's happening in his mind and not real life.
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You really needed to bring your grade up. Normally you do alright, but that score was going to plummet your GPA. You never expected cheating to backfire so hard... but how could you possibly predict that the person you were mind reading would be thinking about sex the whole time?
This time, you'll be prepared the right way. You carry your textbooks and notes to the school library, and you're going to buckle down and study.
You enter the library with your foolproof plan in mind. You even set your timer for an hour, so you know when to take a break after all your hard work. But you freeze when you get to the tables and see a certain man already there.
Chan is studying too. You can feel your heartbeat thumping in your chest. After the test, you caught yourself thinking about him all the time. When you saw him, you felt butterflies in your stomach. You wanted to be around him, but you felt too anxious to say hi.
Safe to say, you've formed a little crush on him. It was embarrassing to admit to yourself, because you know how it happened. You read his mind, saw him fuck you on the desk, and now you want to hold his hand and kiss him.
Before you can even think rationally, you find yourself walking over to his table.
"Hey, mind if I study here?" you ask, mentally punching yourself for breaking the plan this easily.
He looks up, startled by the sudden intrusion, but his shock fades into a smile when he sees you.
"Go ahead," he responds. You pull out the seat across from him and put your stuff in front of you, as if you'll actually be able to get any studying done.
"Did you see your test score yet?" he asks.
"Yeah... let's just say there's a reason I came here to study."
"I didn't do too well either. Not bad, but not good."
"What happened?" you ask. You know what happened, but you want to see what he has to say.
"I, uh," he starts, and you see his cheeks start to flush. "I got a bit distracted."
'A bit distracted' is the understatement of the century.
"I hope I don't distract you, then."
He laughs nervously at your comment.
"Well, um, I'll get back to studying then," he says, and hides his face behind his laptop.
You open your textbook and think about studying, but you know you wont be able to resist peering into his mind. With the way he reacted, you know he's going to think about something interesting.
While pretending to read the book, you focus on him, and his thoughts gradually fill your head.
'Ok, Chan, focus. You can do this. Just... read your notes... focus... it would be rude to leave, right? I'm not gonna be able to focus like this.'
There was a small part of you that thought he didn't actually have feelings for you, and that he was just a pervert. But from the way he's struggling to study because you sat at his table, you can tell he really does like you.
'Do you want to go for coffee after this? No, that's stupid, it's too late to get coffee. What about... Wanna go see a movie sometime? That's stupid too. Ugh. How do you ask someone out without being cringy? Maybe I should buy some flowers? No, I'd have to carry them around all day like an idiot. This is too hard. I should just jump into a volcano. That would be easier... But this is such a good chance. I have to say something before I miss another perfect opportunity...'
His thoughts are racing a mile a minute, trying to figure out what he's going to say to ask you out. He said something about missing another opportunity... how long has this been on his mind? You feel heat rise to your cheeks as you think of every time you talked, wondering when he was thinking of asking you out. There have been a few times where he looked like he was going to say something, but just kept quiet. Was that him chickening out? Maybe you should put him out of his misery and ask him to dinner.
You tune back into his mind, just in time for him to imagine a scenario involving you.
He's sitting in the library across from you, exactly how you are now, but he's wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses. "Hey babe, why don't you stop what you're doing and take a ride with me tonight. I'll make it worth your while." He winks, and a motorcycle comes crashing through the wall to stand next to him. He takes a seat on it, and you run up to get on behind him. He revs the engine a few times to look cool. You wrap your arms around his waist, feeling his six pack through his shirt. Then he rides the motorcycle out of the hole in the wall and into the sunset.
You can't stop a chuckle from escaping your lips.
"What are you laughing at?" he asks, cocking an eyebrow.
"Um, nothing. Just remembered something funny my friend said earlier," you lie.
You both go back to 'studying'. That was a close call. Not that he would ever guess what you're doing, but you did want to see where that fantasy was heading. You don't have to wait long before another one starts again.
You're both sitting in the library. He clears his throat, and you look up at him. "Sorry to interrupt, but... would you want to... maybe... go out with me?" he asks. "No." You say flatly. Then you take your textbook and smack him across the face, before leaving the room. 'Chan, that would never happen,' he thinks to himself. The daydream resets, and you're back where you were before, sitting across the table from him as if that never happened. He suddenly stands up, grabbing your attention, and walks over to your side of the table. He sits on your textbook, forcing you to look up at him. "We're done studying for today. I'm taking you out for dinner." "But-" "No buts. I won't take no for an answer." "I guess I have no choice then," you say, giggling. He fixates on your smile, they way you look at him, your lips... and everything freezes.
Chan buries his face in his hands. He wanted to be a cool, suave ladies man, but even in his imagination he loses his composure when you smile at him.
It's cute to see him like this, reminding you of when you read his mind during the test. The first thing he did was imagine holding your hand. It's possible that his feelings have gotten stronger since then, because now he's struggling just to ask you out in his romantic fantasies.
He's still sitting on the table in front of you, and he takes your hand, pulling you up to your feet. His other hand cups your cheek, and guides your face down to him. Your lips press into his, and you melt into the kiss. He breaks the kiss, and looks into your eyes. "Let's take a rain check on dinner," he says, and his hands move to the bottom of your shirt. "What are you-" you start, but he lifts your shirt up and over your head, throwing it to the side. He unclasps your bra and throws it somewhere as well, and he drinks in the sight of you. "Chan, we're in public. Someone might see us." "Good, let them. I want everyone to know these," he says, grabbing your tits, "are mine." With one hand on each breast, he massages them, and kisses you again. His thumb grazes over your nipples, and you moan into the kiss. You can feel him smile, and he pulls at your nipples while he gropes you. His hands travel down your stomach and to your waist. He's quick to unbutton your pants and pull them down. He massages your ass over your underwear, and his thigh parts your legs to rest itself under your cunt. You gasp, and he slips his tongue in, deepening the kiss. You roll your hips, rubbing your pussy on his muscular thigh. He grabs your waist to help guide you on him, and you continue grinding on his leg as the feeling in your pit starts to build. "Not so shy anymore, huh?" he teases. "You want everyone to see you humping my leg." You roll your hips against him faster, trying to feel as much as you can between multiple layers of fabric. He watches your breasts bounce as you buck against him, and he sits there mesmerized at how good you look when you're fucking yourself on him.
Your alarm goes off. You both jump in your seats. His daydream instantly vanishes as the noise brings you both back to reality. You scramble to shut it off.
"Sorry, I forgot I set that alarm." "Oh... Does that mean you're done?" he asks. He looks at you with sad puppy dog eyes.
'Shit. I was too busy being horny that I completely forgot to ask. Ugh.'
You decide that if you want to go out with him, you're going to have to ask him yourself. "Actually, I have something I wanted to ask you," you say, and he instantly perks up. Your feel your heart beating, and you hesitate for a moment. You know he'll say yes, but you still feel nervous all of a sudden. Asking someone out apparently doesn't get easier even if you have nothing to fear. Finally, you make yourself say the words.
"Do you want to go out sometime?" He pauses, and starts overthinking about what you could possibly mean. "Um... like you want to hang out? Like a friendly 'go out'?" "More like a date 'go out'."
"Oh... OH. Yes!" He coughs, trying to sound nonchalant. "Yeah, let's go out sometime."
He can't hold back the grin that forms on his face. "Actually, I was going to ask you the same thing."
"Really?" you say, feigning ignorance, "That's crazy. I didn't know you were interested in me."
"Yeah... I've liked you for a while," he says shyly, and his cheeks turn pink. God he's cute.
"In that case," you start, walking around to his side of the table and grabbing his hand, "there's something I want to do." You pull him up to his feet, and lead him to the bookshelves. You walk into an empty aisle near the back. "I really want to kiss you." His face turns bright red, and you can hear the thumping of his heartbeat. "O-ok," he stutters. He's completely different from the Casanova in his daydreams, but the juxtaposition is very endearing.
You cup his face and lean in for a kiss, and he kisses back softly. He doesn't know where to put his hands at first, but he rests them on your waist. Gently, you push him back against the bookshelves and press your body into him. He melts into the kiss, and his confidence grows enough to lower his hands to your ass.
For the first time, his thoughts are completely silent.
You're the first to break the kiss. "Do you want to go a bit further?" you ask. "Further...?" he asks, and when your hands leave his face to travel down to his hips, his eyes go wide. "What if someone walks in on us?"
"Then they'll know I'm all yours," you whisper. With the way you're pressed up against him, you can feel his erection forming. If his daydreams didn't convince you of his exhibitionism kink, this sure did.
He nods his head, and you lean back in for another kiss. You palm his crotch, and as you slowly stroke his bulge, you feel him harden under your touch. He grabs your hand, stopping it in its track. "What's wrong?" you ask. "Sorry, I just..." he hesitates for a moment, but continues, "I want to be the one touching you." You remember everything he's fantasized. That is what he likes. "Go ahead," you say. He turns you around so that your back is on his chest, and he brings his hand between your legs. He kisses your neck while he rubs you, and you lean your head back into him. His hand moves into your pants, and he feels the wet spot in your underwear. He moves it aside, and his fingers circle your clit. When he finds a spot that makes you twitch, he presses into it, rubbing it harder and faster until your body rocks into his hand. His other hand snakes under your shirt to grope your breast, and he plays with your nipple. He rubs it and pulls at it, earning a moan from you. The fingers on your clit stroke you faster, and you can hear how wet you are as he moves in and out of your folds. The sensations from your breast and your core has you bucking wildly on him, and your ass presses against his dick. He buries his face into your shoulder, dampening the moan he lets out. He grinds into you from behind, with no rhythm in his movements.
You can feel your orgasm building, and you can't control how you hump Chan's hand while he continues his brutal pace against your cunt. He works his fingers, caressing your folds and rubbing a sensitive spot. You writhe under his touch, and you know you're close. You feel the dam burst, and he continues to rub circles around your clit as you buck into his hand, riding out your high. His hand continues to hold your pussy as he humps your ass, feeling his own orgasm building. He moans, and his pace slows down as he finishes on you. You're both breathing heavily, and he takes his hand out of your pants.
You both lower yourselves to the ground in exhaustion, and you turn to face him. He leans back against the bookshelf. "You don't know how much I wanted to do that," he finally says, and you have to stop yourself from saying yes, you did know.
"Me too," you admit.
As much fun as it was peeping into his thoughts, the real thing felt way better.
"Do you... want to make plans for our date?" he asks. You completely forgot about that in the heat of the moment. "Maybe we should get cleaned up before we think about next time." "Oh, right. Do you want to come to my dorm to shower?" he asks, before adding "Just to get cleaned up! I didn't mean- unless you want to-"
"Yes," you say, answering his question before he overthinks and uninvites you. "I don't want to have to go home like this."
"Yeah, um, alright. Come with me."
You go back to the table to get your stuff, which thankfully is still there, and he leads you to his dorm.
You didn't end up studying, but you did end up with a boyfriend, and that's more important anyways.
Although he would argue otherwise.
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EPILOGUE:
You're chilling in Chan's room while you wait for your final grades to show up on the school website. You check your phone, it's finally the time they said it would be posted. You both open the website.
"Yes!" he yells, "I got a 93%!"
You wait for the page to load, and when you see your mark, you breathe a sigh of relief.
You barely passed, with 1% over the failing grade, but a pass is a pass nonetheless. Your GPA fell significantly after you started dating Chan, but it worked out in the end.
He looks at your score.
'Wow, what a terrible grade.'
He looks back at you.
"Hey, you passed! Great job!" he says, and gives you a high five.
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skeleslime-phantom · 2 days
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🔑"I manipulated you for a while, too, A.B.A." 🩸"Manipulated…? I wouldn't say that…"
A.B.A, sweetie, I'm sorry but uh yeah he WAS using you like a tasty convenient juice box for awhile there.
It might take her a bit to fully grasp what "manipulation" Paracelsus is referring to, or deep down she probably knows it already.
It makes me wonder what all happened between her introduction game and Strive. What made Paracelsus decide he needed to either wean off bloodsport, or did he go cold turkey?
Did something happen on their travels to make him have a realization that he didn't want to put A.B.A purposely in harms way ever again?
Or was it A.B.A's influence that finally chilled him out and made Paracelsus' personality mature?
I DON'T KNOW!! BUT IT'S INTERESTING TO THINK ABOUT!
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farfromharry · 2 days
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Summary: Lando finally wins a race and learns all he needed was a good luck charm
Lando Norris x Reader
w/c 933
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It had been a long and tiring journey for Lando in regards to getting his first race win. 5 years in Formula 1, almost 700 points and 15 podiums and he thought it was never going to happen— at least not if Max Verstappen had anything to say about. And then came along you.
At first you were nothing more than a friend of a friend, someone who had suddenly started appearing at group hang outs, who maybe caught his eye once or twice, purely for the fact you were an unfamiliar face. Suddenly you were everything.
It was a party for someone’s birthday when you spoke for the first time. He had come to the bar for another drink, only to be completely ignored by the bartender in favour of some pretty girls down the other end of the bar. You appeared a few moments later, grinning at the racing driver’s clear annoyance. You tapped his shoulder gently to grab his attention, “Watch this.”
All you’d said was excuse me, which he had already tried, and the man came running. You ordered your own drink and urged Lando to do the same. From that point on he was in complete awe of you. It was such a simple action and yet he thought you were completely fascinating. He had found himself so speechless that he didn’t even say anything to stop you from walking away afterwards. Only then did he realise he’d gotten a free drink too.
It felt like the next few weeks of his life were consumed by thoughts of you, until he finally bucked up the courage to start asking around. It all felt pointless until he saw you again at a party he’d thrown in the hopes you would show up. And you did. It seemed his plan was off to a good start.
He tried not to make it obvious that he was looking at you, or for you. He didn’t want to creep you out. In the end it was you that approached him, which took a lot of the fear out of the situation. No longer did he have to find the courage to go up to you— which he was really struggling with.
“I heard you’ve been asking about me?”
His cheeks burned pink. “I, um… yeah, I—“
You laughed. The sound was music to his ears. “It’s okay. I’m honoured, really. A world famous racing driver is interested in me?”
His eyebrows raised. “You know who I am?” The first time you’d properly met you made no indication of such, so he’d just assumed you didn’t know.
“I might have done my own research,” you shrugged. Not a single part of you seemed embarrassed about it though, not like he had. You were owning up to it, you were outwardly telling him he interested you.
And he knew in that very moment, he was completely hooked.
The first race you attended, not only of the year but ever, was the Miami Grand Prix. Lando insisted it was a good atmosphere, unlike a select few that weren’t always the greatest. It was also warm and there were places he could take you after that he thought you would like. You had no hesitations. All you wanted was to see your boyfriend succeed. You didn’t know all that much about the world of motorsport, but you knew Lando hadn’t won before and seeing it in person would surely be something special.
But he had his doubts. He had qualified 2nd, beside Max, for what felt like the thousandth time. He knew exactly how this would play out. But you didn’t feel like letting him get in his head.
“You’re going to win. You’re such a good driver, Lando. Believe in yourself.” He wished he could have taken your words seriously, but he didn’t have it in him to do so. He had already spent 2 years doing his very best just to get stuck behind the world champ anyway. His hope was burning out the more it happened, it was almost ashes at this point. But even if his hope did disappear, you were there to believe in him on his behalf. It was refreshing to have someone think he could win for once.
“I’ll try.”
You frowned. “If you won’t try for you, try for me?”
Apparently that was all the motivation he didn’t realise he needed. He was going to go out there and win it for you. He couldn’t let the first ever race you attended be one that was forgettable.
And when he crossed the line in P1? Everybody went wild.
While waiting for him to get out of the car, you were almost lost in the sea of papaya surrounding the barriers, but there was no way he would let that happen. He threw himself at his team first and as soon as he pulled off his helmet he was throwing his arms around you.
“You did it! You’re a race winner!” you cheered.
“I’m a race winner!” It felt so good to say. He couldn’t stop grinning. “You must be my good luck charm. Gonna have to come to all my races now.”
Your expression was a mirror of his. “If this is how you’re going to perform at every one, count me in.”
So it had taken him 5 years and a whole lot of time, effort and emotion to get him to that top step of the podium, when all along he had been waiting for the final piece of the puzzle to make it happen; you.
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calicoheartz · 17 hours
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could you write something about being coach bluder's granddaughter but not having any interest in basketball but you show up tp practice one day to surprise your grandma and Caitlin immediately has a crush on you?
Unexpectedly Unexpected ; Caitlin Clark ⸝⸝ ♡
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summary : you are coach bluders granddaughter , what happens when Iowa’s star player has a little crush on you ? 👀
wc ; 774
warnings : none
my master list ㇀♡
a/n : hey guys! so happy to be back posting my cait fics , tysm for requesting this! Enjoy ◡̈
As the granddaughter of Coach Bluder, basketball has always been a huge part of your life. The sound of dribbling balls and squeaking snickers filled your childhood, as you spent countless hours watching from the bleachers, absorbing the excitement and intensity that came with it.
But despite this, basketball never really spoke to you. Yeah you enjoyed watching it, but it never really captured your interests like it did for the rest of your family. You instead pursued other passions, carving out your own path outside of the basketball world.
Years went by, and you found yourself living your own life, one that consisted of being away from the court. You still stayed in touch with your grandma, visiting her whenever you can and keeping up with her team's achievements and progress. One day, you decided to surprise her by showing up to a team practice, something you hadn't done in years.
As you walked into the gym, you were suddenly hit by a wave of nostalgia, with the sound of sneakers hitting the squeaky gym floor and the smell of the basketballs bringing you back to your childhood, and you couldn't help but smile as you watched the team scramble across the court.
Coach Bluder soon noticed you, breaking into a wide grin and soon rushing over to you to give you a big and loving embrace. The players, who had heard so much about you, welcomed you with open arms. Incredibly grateful and eager to meet the girl their coach had spoken so fondly of.
Among the players was Caitlin Clark, Iowa’s star point guard. Her talent on the court was undeniable of course, but it was her charisma and charm that truly set her apart from the rest. When she saw you, her eyes lit up, and she couldn't help but be completely drawn to you. Your presence engulfing her entirely and pulling the point guard in.
Throughout practice, Caitlin could not take her eyes off of you. She watched you closely as you interacted with the other players, laughing and joking with them as if you had known them for an entire lifetime. There was something about your easy going nature that captivated her, but couldn't put it into words.
After practice, she approached you, with a nervous grin displayed across her lips. She struck up a conversation, eager to learn anything about you. As you spoke, you found yourself to be completely drawn to her as well. Her passion for the game was infectious, and the way she herself spoke about it brought you to see basketball in an entirely new light.
In the following days, the brunette had taken you under her wing as you started to frequent their practices more often. As she showed you the ins and outs of the game, and introducing you to her teammates. You found yourself spending almost all your free time with her, being drawn to her enthusiasm and passion. Despite your initial disinterest in basketball, you couldn't help in being swept up by the excitement of it all.
As your bond with Caitlin grew stronger, so did her feelings with you. She found herself falling for you in ways that she never expected. Almost kissing on numerous occasions, she finally decided to bite the bullet and ask you the anticipated question.
After a victorious win for Iowa, she again approached you with the never grin she did when the two of you first met. You had noticed that she had been acting a bit strange all day, and you were curious as to what was on her mind.
“Hey..” she said, twirling her hair between her fingers. “I was wondering if…uhm, if you'd like to go out with me sometime? Like on a date?”
You were taken aback, not expecting for Caitlin to ask you out so directly. You could feel your cheeks getting red, and your heart skipping a beat as you tried to process her words, with a small smile spreading across your face.
“I would love to,” you replied, trying your best to try and contain your excitement.
The guard let out a sigh of relief, a wide grin soon appearing across her face. “Great! How does Saturday work for you? We could maybe catch a movie and grab dinner afterwards?”
“That sounds perfect,” you said, feeling a wave of calmness and content wash over you.
You soon walked away from the gym, hand in hand with Caitlin, and you couldn't help but feel extremely grateful for a sudden turn of events. Who knew that one simple visit would lead to such an exciting and promising future?
omgggg this is sooo cute!!! I promise im gonna start posting longer / more vague fics as i do have some series’s in the works! as always, tysm for reading! 😊❤️
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hxnbi · 1 day
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❀ not so secret — inumaki toge
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synopsis: you and toge were having a secret rendezvous, far away from all the others, or so you both thought
tags: fluff, gn reader
word count: 1.4k
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“Look at him… He’s infatuated....” 
Maki sighed, rolling her eyes at the scene happening around the corner between you and Toge—that is, if she could even see anything, as Panda was practically blocking her vision. 
Just peering from the bushes she and Panda were hiding from, they could see you two—very explicitly, she might mention, holding hands.
She knew something was afoot when Toge grabbed you by the hand the second you finished your dinner and dragged you somewhere, unbeknownst to her. Their curiosity was piqued, only for the two to find you two, alone, sitting together on a bench, enjoying each other's company in the moonlight.
Or so you two thought.
Cue having Maki and Panda staring at you two with wide-eyed eyes and curious spirits. Well, for Panda, anyway.
Now, they were a reasonable distance away—enough to see you two together but not enough to hear a word, and neither could you guys. 
Maki squinted her eyes, trying to decipher what exactly was going on between you and Toge through the dense and overgrown foliage that was Panda’s ass. 
Your silhouette was barely discernible against all the bushes blocking her view and the dimming twilight in the sky, but the subtle gestures and hushed whispers from both your and Toge’s figures spoke volumes. 
Maki leaned in closer, her curiosity piqued despite her initial reluctance. She could not lie. Seeing Toge this intimate with someone was somewhat unexpected, unsettling even. “...Don’t you think that Toge’s demeanour is a lot more, different? We’ve never seen this before from him,” she noted, squinting her eyes at the bench you both were still sitting on, now laughing.
“Shush Maki! We’re getting to the good part!”
Maki sweatdropped at how invested Panda was. At this rate, she may as well think that Panda was also included in your guys’ relationship. “Good part, my ass. The hell are we even stalking them for?”
“For reconnaissance,” Panda replied matter-of-factly.
“Well, yeah. They’re definitely close,” she shrugged begrudgingly, her voice hardly even audible. After all, they were stalking you two from behind the bushes. “But dating? I’m not so sure.”
“What else could it be? Look at the way they’re leaning towards each other like they’re sharing some big secret!” Panda leaned his body forward eagerly, eyes wide with excitement. He appeared to be more invested than Maki was, as if this were all some kind of romance drama in real-time.  
But Maki, ever being the voice of reason, remained skeptical, her arms crossed tightly against her chest. “Maybe they’re just friends?” she clicked her tongue sarcastically, still in a whisper. “Ever heard of that? We can’t jump to conclusions based on a few stolen glances.”
But the Panda was undeterred. “I doubt it. I believe that there’s definitely something more. I can feel it in my bones!”
“You’re being delusional.”
“Hello, everyone~!” a voice suddenly interrupted their conversation, startling them into silence. 
‘Oh god…’ 
“It’s your good-looking teacher, Gojo Satoru, here to— What are you both doing, hunched down in the bushes like that? Oh no! Don’t tell me you’re now homeless!”
Maki shot her teacher a withering glare, her patience wearing thin with each passing moment.
“Now, what are you doing here, huh, Satoru?”
“So cruel!” he cried out mockingly, but his trademark arrogance and his shit-eating, mischievous grin were on full display. "I was just thinking of checking in on my favourite students, of course. But it seems like I've stumbled upon something much more interesting."
‘...Ugh.’
That’s it. All hope was lost. A lack of privacy did not exist. Not in Jujutsu Tech, where the most unlikely of people—or animals, for that matter—were always watching.
“Honestly, I didn’t think I’d see them here alone again since the last time,” Gojo hummed.
“They’ve been meeting here in this exact spot for the last four days now,” Maki noted. “You think theres something going on that we don’t know about?”
“Well, of course!” Panda said a matter of factly. “Isn’t it clear that they're dating?”
All eyeballs shifted to the scene where they saw Toge holding your hand close to his face, and you leaned on his shoulder. The intimacy between you two was evident even from a distance from where they were watching.
Toge’s fingers brushed past yours before grabbing them firmly, your fingers intertwining with his. Toge's gaze met yours, and a soft smile graced both your lips. A silent exchange of warmth without an onigiri ingredient was said from Toge in sight.
“Oh shit! They’re getting handsy!” Gojo gasped, seeing this happen first-hand. 
“Be quiet,” Maki hissed. “You’re loud-ass is going to get us caught.”
“That's right. We’re just getting to the good part!” Panda added with a playful smirk, thoroughly enjoying the spectacle before them. It was comedic, really. 
Maki sighed. There really was no reasoning with those idiots…
Gojo bent over to Maki and Panda. “So, are we just waiting for them to make out?”
A tick mark appeared on Maki and Panda’s faces. ‘This guy…’
Just as they were spying on you two, Panda’s hefty weight, along with the shock of Gojo’s surprise appearance, poured over the scene. But their attempt at stealth was quickly foiled as they toppled over each other like a cascade of dominoes, making a loud noise, something that you two very much picked up on in this seemingly quiet space. 
Caught off guard, you and Toge stood up and turned towards the commotion, eyebrows raised in surprise, eyes and ears attuned to the noise that had just come unexpectedly from behind where you once sat.
“What the—”
Maki began to sweat. ‘Just great.’
You and Toge, now standing before the toppled mound of bodies, exchanged a puzzled glance, eyebrows raised in surprise, only to be quickly replaced by amusement at the spectacle unfolding before your eyes. 
“Salmon salmon.”
“Huh? Maki, Panda, and— Gojo too!?”
Everyone’s necks turned, only to see you and Toge standing before them, holding hands. You and Toge exchanged knowing glances. 
“Ahem…” your eyes flushed in embarrassment, your voice faltering as your hand remained enlaced with Toge’s, glued to the moment. “Did you… see everything?” 
Caught red-handed, their faces flushed with embarrassment. Well, Maki, mostly. Panda and Gojo could not give a single damn; they were more interested in the fact that you were there.
Finally, they asked the burning question, "Are you and Toge dating?"
They exchanged looks filled with curiosity and anticipation, making you sweat. Their gazes shifted between you and Toge, practically demanding an answer from either of you, clearly not willing to take no for an answer. 
There was silence, right before… 
“Huh? Oh, yeah, we are.”
“WHAT?!”
“I was right!” Panda started dancing around.
With a tilt of your head, you turned to face the pale blonde, who blinked at you, all with the innocent expression he always had. 
“Toge, I thought you said you were going to tell them?”
“Tuna.”
The boy gave you a sheepish expression, Toge’s small muffles speaking through the layered shirt he always wore. You inhaled deeply and continued to hold his hand, tightening your grip. “Don’t worry. I could never get mad at you, Toge. Like, come on, just look at the expressions on their faces. The poor souls.”
‘Huh…?’
Toge's gaze softened at your words as he nodded in agreement. "Salmon roe.”
His expression said it all. It was one of adoration, to be able to hold your hand and spend time with you, that brought him immeasurable joy in his quiet world. One that the others hardly ever saw in the pale-haired boy let alone a mere smile, all but hidden away under his mask, quite literally. 
You couldn't help but chuckle softly at his choice of words. You rubbed at his straightened, pale hair, utterly oblivious to the incredulous stares of Maki, Panda, and Gojo. "Yes, yes, salmon roe," you replied with a wide grin of your own, feeling a warmth spread fruitfully in your chest as if the three were mere background props in your own quirky sitcom.
As for the second years? Well…
‘If this supposed to be romantic…?’ they all sweatdropped.
Heaven forbid the words of onigiri ingredients could ever be considered “romantic.”
“Are we… interrupting something personal here?” Panda neared closer to Maki, whispering in her ear, only to receive a punch right in the gullet.
“So, were we the first to learn about your relationship?” Panda sparkled as if they weren’t just interrupting a moment of yours a moment ago, or even that he was just punched. Having a puppy body has its advantages, perhaps.
“Oh,” you blinked. “No. It was Ijichi, actually, a few days ago.”
“SO YOU BOTH WERE GETTING HANDSY!” 
“Not really. He walked into the classroom while me and Toge were in the middle of-”
“I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! YOU TWO REALLY WERE MAKING OUT!”
“That’s not it either…”
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©hxnbi. please do not modify, edit, copy or reproduce any of my works.
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copperbadge · 2 days
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Immediate Writer's Block
Had a comment on another post where I thought I'd probably need more space than the notes in which to respond, so:
constant-state-of-self-discovery Oh I get the envy I feel it right now how the fuck do you manage to write without impassable writers block after 5-9 sentences because I haven't fucking figured it out lol
I do have some advice on this!
I think most writers get blocked from time to time, it's normal and my general strategy is just to wait it out, but if you're frequently blocked after only writing a very little bit, I think the problem is one of two things: either you don't know what you want to achieve with the scene you're writing, or you don't know what should happen next within the scene to achieve that goal. If you frame "I'm blocked" as "I don't have an answer I need" then often you move from just sitting there, sweating and staring at a blank page, to thinking productively about how you're going to get where you're going. It's the difference between not knowing an answer and not knowing an answer but knowing where to look for it.
An invaluable piece of advice for this, which I think I picked up from someone who got it off a National Novel Writing Month messageboard, is "When in doubt, ninjas attack." It's not meant to be literal, you don't need to have ninjas or fight scenes just because you don't know what to do, but it helps to get the creativity flowing again. If you don't know what should happen next, or you know but you're having trouble actually writing the scene, it can be very helpful to induce a moment of uncertainty or surprise -- to have a metaphorical ninja attack. One time I did this literally -- the POV character was just on the road somewhere and I didn't know how to get them from a pastoral country road to their actual destination in an interesting way, so I had them get attacked by highway bandits and have to fight them off, which also allowed me to demonstrate that the character had significant unarmed combat skills. But it can also just be like, two characters who are having a boring conversation can be interrupted by a third person, even just a stranger asking for directions, or there can be, IDK, an explosion, or something goes missing, or etc.
Sometimes it also helps to leave it alone but keep it in your mind and go do something else -- listen to a podcast, take a walk, read a book, not because those things are distracting but because all our inputs eventually feed into our brain and come out as reactions. If you're thinking about your book while you're wandering around a park, something you see in the park might have an impact on it. If you've got YOUR story in mind while reading someone else's, you might be more inclined to look at what they're saying and see what you think of it, how it might play into your work.
And honestly, sometimes you just gotta go past it. I'm working on the next Shivadh novel right now and it opens basically with Simon the chef getting into a spat with his love-interest-to-be over some cheese. He want the cheese, she won't sell him the cheese, so they get off to a very contentious start. But I suck at writing conflict especially when it's basically "A character I like is being pompous and another character I want people to find likable is being stubborn and somewhat unpleasant". I've been stalled on it for a while. But I know where the scene ends up, like I do know what the goal is, so I just...skipped it and went on to writing a scene I like better, where they meet a second time and actually discover each others' identity and that they're about to be forced into the grownup equivalent of a school project. Once I've gotten dug deeper into the story I'll come back and write it, and by then I'll have the benefit of knowing the love interest a bit better.
So yeah -- I think a lot of breaking a writer's block, especially when you don't need rest but are just stumped about what to do, is to twist and look at it from another angle. It's not that you don't know what to write, or don't want to write what you know you have to -- it's that you don't have the correct answer to a question, or you need to leave that part alone to ferment and come back to it later. At least, for me.
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archiveikemen · 2 days
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『Surprise Bag』 Story Sale: Prologue
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This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection and is not intended as replacement for official localisation. I do not own any of the original content. Please support CYBIRD by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.
Warnings and FAQ
Ever since becoming the Fairytale Keeper, I’ve built some level of resistance to unusual happenings.
However, despite that, some strange things that happen in Crown still manage to surpass my expectations.
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“Jude” (Ellis): Good morning, Kate. I’m going to make you happy today too.
Kate: … Jude, uhh… did you suffer a blow to the head?
“Jude” (Ellis): Eh? I didn’t take any blows to anywhere, I’m feeling great.
Kate: What happened to your usual scumbag attitude?! Are you sick? Injured, perhaps? We must take you to the hospital at once!
“Ellis” (Jude): Tch, what’s the ruckus about?
“Jude” (Ellis): Oh, Jude.
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“Jude” (Ellis): Huh? Why is Jude me?
“Ellis” (Jude): That’s my line. Why are YOU me?
Kate: W-What?
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“Elbert” (Alfons): AHHA! This is getting awfully amusing.
Kate: Al… wait, Sir Elbert?!
Kate: Don’t tell me… the one behind you is Alfons?
“Alfons” (Elbert): … When I looked into the mirror, I saw that I turned into Al.
“Elbert” (Alfons): It’s interesting to look at myself objectively.
“Elbert” (Alfons): Oh, El. Please put in more energy when speaking. It’s disturbing to hear myself sound so depressed.
“Alfons” (Elbert): … Energy? … I’ll try.
“Alfons” (Elbert): … ahha.
“Elbert” (Alfons): It was a mistake on my part to expect energy from you.
Kate: Maybe, or not just maybe…
Kate: — Did Jude and Ellis, Alfons and Sir Elbert swap bodies!?
Kate: How did this happen…?
“Ellis” (Jude): Definitely that quack’s fault, I’m going to beat him up.
All members of Crown gathered to question Roger, who simply laughed at the situation.
Roger: My bad. I can’t believe it took effect this fast. Aren't I a genius?
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Victor: Don't say such things, Roger! Why did such a cute… I mean, serious thing happen?
Liam: Victor, you’re exposing your inner thoughts. Also, your words and facial expression don’t match.
Roger: I was conducting research on whether a curse can be transferred if I swapped the bodies of a cursed person with a normal person.
William: Your insatiable inquisitive mind is truly eye opening, but shouldn't your test subjects be a cursed person and a normal person instead?
Roger: I thought it’d be dangerous if something were to happen to someone who isn’t cursed, so I decided to experiment on these guys first.
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Harrison: What do you take us for? We die just like normal people.
“Elbert” (Alfons): Let’s drown that four-eyed musclehead in the River Thames.
“Ellis” (Jude): Yeah. Tie some stone weights onto him and plop him in to make it quick.
Kate: Wait, please don't say such unsettling things with Sir Elbert and Ellis’ faces!
“Jude” (Ellis): But Roger is so cool for being able to make a drug like this.
Liam: … Now Jude is being a softie. Goodness, this is chaos!
Roger: Relax. I’ll produce an antidote if you let me collect the data I need.
Roger: … If I can produce an antidote, that means I can experiment on the others too.
Harrison: … You just said something disturbing.
Roger: I said nothing.
“Elbert” (Alfons): I must say, you have no rights to be bargaining with us. Pardon my vulgar language, but please die.
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Harrison: Woah, um… Liam? Oi, oi. — Is he asleep?
“Jude” (Ellis): I touched his head, sorry. I was curious to see if I can use Jude’s curse’s abilities.
Roger: Heh, the curse’s abilities remain in the body, huh. So I am a genius after all!
(This is getting out of hand…!)
Kate: Please give us the antidote immediately, Roger!
Kate: … Oh my goodness, what’s going to happen if this reaches Her Majesty's ears?
Roger: She might fire me for this.
Roger: … That’s why you should help keep an eye on them so word doesn't get out, lil lady.
Kate: Eh? Roger? Hey!
“Ellis” (Jude): Tch… useless. Getting fired just like that.
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“Jude” (Ellis): Oh, Jude, body can’t take cig—
“Ellis” (Jude): *cough*... tastes like shit. Ellis, you need to train yourself to take at least ONE cigar.
“Elbert” (Alfons): I could get away with a lot of bad things with this face, don't you think?
Alfons: … Is this spoon beautiful, Kate?
Kate: T-This is driving me insane…!
I so badly wanted it to be some horrible april fools joke, but the scene unfolding before my eyes showed otherwise.
At that point in time, I still didn't know.
— To be continued.
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drdemonprince · 3 days
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Any chance you'd expand on the hank hill trans guy post? (Sorry, best indicator I could come up with.) The concept interests me as I decidedly know my maleness, yet don't feel impeded by for the most part, any male gendered norms/boxes. I am fairly masculine, though I rarely use those kinds terms to describe myself. I have found I often do stray outside of what society pushed for me when I transitioned, yet I again do not feel it has taken from my right to maleness whatsoever. I am just me, who happens to be male. I have had friends try and suggest I am NB adjacent but I do not feel this way whatsoever. I feel more people are outliers to gender expectation than we care to admit and it's disappointing the way cis-people deny that. Hope this wasn't too long winded, I value your writing and perspective, and wanted to hear more of your thoughts on this.
Yeah, well so many things all get conflated by gender labels, and it's all so personal, you know? Masculinity does not have to mean maleness, and a person's gender identity might be a reflection of some innate quality they experience themselves as having, or a general summary of their tendencies, or their desired presentation, or their sense of affinity with other people, or an interpersonal tool, or something they just go along with because it was given to them by society, or any other number of things.
I think my recent substack piece on detransition goes into this pretty well, and I have an upcoming piece of what @pastimperfection calls "bilateral dysphoria" that comes out next week that delves into it too.
I think I mostly saw taking on a male identity as a means to an end more than any kind of innate reflection of who I was, though I did feel an affinity with effeminate men for a lot of reasons. I think I also discounted how much I have in common with my fellow nonbinary people of all stripes, because that identity became so strongly associated with being an annoying type of queer person that everybody else just wrote off as ultimately being their assigned gender at birth anyway no matter how much they protested. it doesn't help that 'nonbinary' is a catchall term for literally thousands if not millions of very distinct experiences and desires.
transitioning gave me control over how i was perceived, finally, but hormones are a throttle that only go in one very specific direction, and you don't really have all that much control over which changes kick in at which times and what people will make of you once you do start registering to them as some identity other than what you were first saddled with. it's an incredible gift to be able to toggle that throttle. but it's limited, not because medical transition isn't incredible and needed for so many, but because there is no escaping the goddamned binary cissexist logic that influences everything about how people treat you, how you navigate institutions, who finds you desirable and what they want out of you, and so much else.
if you're able to cast a lot of the external societal bullshit aside and feel strong in your maleness, maybe you're stronger than me or maybe our orientation to these things is just different, i don't know. i was never all that sensitive to feedback that i was doing the whole being-a-woman-thing all that wrong. i reveled in violating those rules to an extent. succeeding at being a woman despite my best attempts was what felt super dysphoric. and now i guess im succeeding at being a man, insofar as im always read as one, and it feels just as uncomfortable and objectifying and false. i thought that with manhood i could probably just grit my teeth and deal with it, but i'm finding that i can't.
ive always been very open that for me, gender is a thing I Do, and i guess to those who know me well it wouldnt be surprising to hear that i have gotten tired of Doing Being a Man and dont feel like playing that particular gendered game anymore. I tend to get bored of things! and find the flaws in things. and find my comfort in being fault-finding and contrarian and not being a joiner. and thats okay. i learned a lot along the way. not having to try any more is a huge relief. i can just do whatever. and know actively that people will more often than not be wrong in what they make of me.
maybe it was natural feeling for you to decidely 'know' your maleness without a care for masculine standards because that is the right identity for you! and maybe i only feel secure in the "not knowing" realm and in letting go of what people think of me or finding any kind of tidy categorization for it because that's the right spot for me. for now. until i find a new interesting way to be unhappy and striving for more and different again. :) that's just part of being alive, for me.
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Prompt 28 - Dogwalking AU
@wolfstarmicrofic - April 28th, 1284 words
The doorbell rings in the middle of a Saturday, and Padfoot, bless that big silly boy, barks and wags his tail in his better impersonation of a golden retriever.
When Remus picked him up from the shelter, he was told Padfoot was a dog not many people took interest in, big and black as he was, people assumed he'd be aggressive. No matter he was actually a sweet silly puppy at heart, no matter his previous owner had obviously trained him well. In French of all languages, but still, well trained once you got the hang of the right commands.
It was Lily who had called him, almost begging him to take this dog. Padfoot was clearly struggling to adapt to the shelter, needed extra cuddles from the humans, and although he was very friendly, the volunteers could see him getting sadder by the day. So Lily, in her endless wisdom, had called the one friend who also needed some extra company, who also needed those extra cuddles, and who struggled to voice that need. And so Remus had found himself with a lap full of Padfoot and jumpers that would forever be interwoven with black dog hair.
Enough to say it had been some very happy six months so far.
So here they are, cuddling on the sofa, Remus with a cup of tea on one hand and a dark romance novel in the other, something he's reading for the bookclub Mary roped him into. Padfoot lying down mostly on top of him, a happy dog smile on his furry little face as he drools in his sleep. The doorbell rings and Padfoot scrambles up, paws expertly finding and painfully digging in all of Remus' soft places.
"Coming! Just a sec! No, Pads, back, stand back- No, Padfoot, wait, listen you need to let me open the door-" Remus finally manages to push Padfoot out of the way and open the door just a crack. Outside, there are two handsome young men, one big and buff and sporting a pair of glasses that would look nerdy on anyone else but on him just look sexy, and one tall and lean, leather jacket and wide legged pants hugging a tight waist barely visible under a crop top.
Remus immediately can be sure of two things: one, it's been way too long since he got laid if he's thirsting so hard over strangers, and two, this is probably a type of scam, since how else would two people that looked like this ever knock randomly on Remus' door?
"Hi!" The dark skinned one says with a bright smile. Padfoot barks louder, trying to push against Remus' legs.
"No, Pads, please shh- Hello?" Remus answers.
"Is that your dog?" Says the man in leather, hands in his pockets, but head trying to peak behind Remus. Padfoot barks and barks and barks.
"Yeah?" Remus says, and it's almost a question. "Sorry for the noise, if that's the problem, we're usually a lot quieter than this, he's just excit-"
"He's a very handsome dog" interrupts the man, eyes shining.
"...ok" Remus doesn't want to be rude, really, but what ever? He almost closes the door in their faces, he would have, if he wasn't both trying to hold the door and stop Padfoot from pushing it open. "No, Pads, please, what is happening, love? Please shhh"
"I told you it was Padfoot!" Says the one with the glasses, slapping the other man on the back and then coming even closer, to kneel by Remus' door and try to pet Padfoot through the small crack. Padfoot goes berserk at this. "Name's James, this is Sirius-" James nods to the other man, and then his voice shifts to a baby voice "-and this is baby Padfoot, yes you are, yes you are baby boy, who's the bestest boy?"
"How did you, uhm, did you find my address from the shelter?" Remus says, thinking maybe Lily lead them here.
"The shelter? He was in a shelter?" Sirius eyes snap up to Remus' face, searching for something. His eyes are still shining dangerously.
"Oh no, I saw you two walking and I followed you the other day" James says casually, as if that's just the most normal thing to do, follow people home, and then adds, with a wink "I could recognize my nephew anywhere"
Remus finally opens the door, and Padfoot runs out, jumping up and down, around the two men. He then jumps right up onto Sirius chest, huge black dog being held like the most precious thing, and Sirius just starts bawling, right then and there, against Padfoot's fur. The dog licks his face and wags his tail. Remus is moved but also very, very confused.
"I was told he was surrendered" Remus says, doubtfully, after the sobs diminish. "His family couldn't take care of him anymore"
"They told me they killed him" Sirius says, and starts sobbing hard again. James runs a hand up and down his back, looking pained.
"Maybe Reggie took him. He's smart like that, and you always said he loves animals, he probably lied to them" James says, and looks at Remus as if asking for support on this. Remus almost throws his hands up. What can he even say? He doesn't know who this Reggie person is! Hell, he doesn't know who these two men are!
"So" Remus starts, feeling at a loss but also starting to feel slightly annoyed. Whoever these people are, they are clearly the previous owners, but Remus- well, Remus loves this dog, alright? And he's not going to let him go, especially not back to the family that abandoned him in the first place. "I'm sorry, but- you can't take him"
The two men look up at him, Sirius still teary eyed, James tilting his head as if confused.
"You can't take him with you, I mean" Remus says, hoping his voice sounds more confident than he feels. "He's- we live together, now, he's been living here for months, and he was in the shelter a long time too, so I don't think-"
"No, I understand" Sirius interrupts, and Padfoot finally jumps down. Wagging his tail happily, watching all of them with big, happy eyes.
"Sirius-" James starts, voice unsure.
"No, James, that makes sense. This is his home now and I think..." Sirius trails off.
"Remus"
"...I think Remus is right" he finishes, hand on his hips and nodding as if trying to convince himself.
James looks at Sirius with something close to heartbreak in his eyes, Sirius looks at Padfoot adoringly, Padfoot comes to Remus, all silly smiles and happy tail, and Remus says something he had never considered before.
"Maybe you could walk him, sometimes?" Remus says, and when two sets of eyes look up at him, he blushes. "I mean, he will still live here, but if you want... You could take him for walks, or to the dog park"
"Oh! Like joint custody!" James perks up with a bright smile. Remus winces.
"Like dogwalking" Remus corrects, but he sees Sirius' hopeful smile.
"Yeah, I'd- I'd love that, actually."
Remus' heart beats faster when Sirius looks him straight in the eyes. He suddenly has a feeling this will all be too much like co-parenting.
He blushes, and when Sirius says he'll stop by the next day and asks Remus for his favorite coffee order so he can bring some for him, Remus fights the urge to bite his lip like a teenage girl.
He closes the door, and slides down until he's sitting with his back against it, and a lap full of happy, panting Padfoot.
"Oh, Pads, what did we get ourselves into?"
-
You can read more of my work here
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The Apothecary Diaries
S1E15 First Watch
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Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.
To start at the beginning:
Episode 1
My character/locations cheat sheet
Suiren - Jinshi's attendant
Lakan - mysterious officer
Lihaku - the military officer who took Maomao out of the Rear Palace
Basan - an officer who works in the palace
Xiaolan - Maomao's servant girl friend
Palace gossip! Lihaku has done a good job handling the fire investigation. But he had help from Jinshi's personal assistant! Didn't Jinshi just buy a beautiful courtesan from Verdigris House?
This shit is worth sitting up for. Master Lakan, who's peaceful nap was interrupted by gossipy military bitches, would like to hear more about Maomao. Should I be worried about this guy's interest in Maomao?
Gaoshun would like Maomao to look into an old case. If you want to close a cold case, then Maomao is certainly the one to ask.
Side note: Gaoshun just offered to take Maomao to a restaurant to eat raw pufferfish. Is Gaoshun going to get a date with Maomao before Jinshi does? Bwahahaha!
So Gaoshun was asked to investigate this case years ago. Which makes me wonder what his position is/was. I thought it was mentioned that he has been with Jinshi since the day he was born, but that can't be right either, or he would have noticed the baby swap. Unless, I mean he is not always around Jinshi, so maybe the swap happened when he was out investigating a case? Also, can people not recognize one baby from another? Or did the swap happen so quickly after the births that people really didn't know what their child looked like. Whatever, the details probably aren't that important.
So after hearing about Jinshi's new servant/concubine who can solve mysteries, Lakan approached Jinshi's man, Gaoshun, to ask for help solving a case. Uh yeah, that dude knows a thing or two about strategy and maneuvering others. Is this guy dangerous?
A similar case has arisen, a bureaucrat has fallen into a coma after eating raw pufferfish.
Maomao: Master Gaoshun. Forgive me, but is it appropriate for you to be discussing this with me? Gaoshun: It won't be an issue. Unlike certain individuals, you understand your position.
What a loaded response from Gaoshun.
He's clearly taking a dig at Jinshi. Gaoshun was frustrated when Jinshi was assigned to care for the Rear Palace, and thinks that using his appearance as a test against the concubines is beneath him. But he also has been witnessing Jinshi spiral further and further away from propriety with Maomao, and can't approve of it. I thought Gaoshun had decided to support Jinshi and Maomao when he intervened to get Jinshi to Verdigris House and rescue Maomao. But, perhaps his motives weren't to support a romantic relationship between the two, rather to bring Maomao back to the palace where she would be under their protection and within their control. The second half of his statement to Maomao, "you understand your position," is also a bit of a reminder or perhaps a warning to her. He's also saying don't try to exceed your station. Gaoshun is delusional if he thinks the situation between Maomao and Jinshi can be maintained as it is.
Gaoshun lays out two similar poisoning cases. Maomao's keen mind is already rolling through the possibilities and she asks for some more information.
Jinshi scares the living shit out of Maomao when he startles her by asking what she was talking about with Gaoshun. I find it interesting that this request came directly through Gaoshun via Lakan, and that Jinshi was not aware of it. Why not inform Jinshi? I had wondered before about Lakan, if he might be some kind of rival of Jinshi's, since he seemed to take such an interest in the gossip about him. That Gaoshun, avoided informing Jinshi about this, makes me think there is something between those two gentleman, that isn't friendly. This scene also shows us that Gaoshun does sometimes operate outside of Jinshi's domain. We saw that in the past he was an investigator, and that now he sometimes does tasks that aren't given by Jinshi. Also, Jinshi is in casual robes, with wet hair. He clearly just got out of the bath. Was Gaoshun trying to have this conversation with Maomao while Jinshi was busy. Was he trying to hide this from Jinshi?
Jinshi: You seemed to be listening quite intently to Master Gaoshun's story.
Jinshi has become a bit possessive where it comes to Maomao. We saw that when he brought her back from Verdigris House, and again when Gaoshun gave Maomao a cloak last episode. Here it is again, with her having an intense conversation with Gaoshun. I wonder what Jinshi's actual thoughts are on his possessive actions. I mean I can see that his emotions for her are making him jealous and he's not bothering to try and hide that, but in his mind, does he think he has a claim on Maomao? He may actually have a legal claim since he did buy out her contract at the brothel, but in what way does he intend to exert that claim? Does Jinshi see Maomao as something he owns? Is his jealousy connected to that? Is he frustrated that he just bought a concubine and she wants nothing to do with him romantically? Or are the feelings of jealousy that we're seeing simply from his attraction to her? Does he simply wish her to return his feelings, and want to keep other guys away from her, so they won't get a chance to pull her attention away from him?
Maomao: People tend to pay attention to stories they actually find interesting. Jinshi: Now hold on. Is that why you frequently cut me off midsentence- Maomao: Oh dear. It's getting late. I suppose I'd better take my leave.
So the ambiguity of the relationship between Maomao and Jinshi has not affected their ability banter. Maomao is still teasing Jinshi, even if the conversation may indicate that Maomao has been avoiding Jinshi. Is she afraid they may have to talk about what it means that she's had her contract purchased and is living in Jinshi's house? Is she afraid her feelings may tip over into something that is even more difficult to hide from? Is she afraid she'll have to confront Jinshi's true identity and all the repercussions that come with it? All of the above? This situation feels so untenable.
Jinshi: Come back here. I'm not done talking with you- Suiren: And I have not finished drying your hair. Hold still
Suiren really controls everything that happens in this house doesn't she? What are this lady's goals? What does she think about Jinshi and Maomao?
Jinshi watches Maomao walk away and rumbles in frustration. He's ever trying to get closer, while Maomao keeps her distance. What will it take to change this?
Gaoshun returns with the details Maomao requested.
Maomao: I knew you would deliver.
There is a real trust and comradery developing between Gaoshun and Maomao. She doesn't have the same reservations she has with Jinshi and she isn't nearly as critical of Gaoshun. Indeed, she routinely views Gaoshun with glowing praise. In many ways he's the ideal man in Maomao's eyes, even if she doesn't see him as a match for her personally. I wonder how she would accept knowing Gaoshun's true identity.
Jinshi is delighted to come upon Maomao and Gaoshun discussing the poisoning mystery. He can't resist teasing Maomao for getting stuck on this case. It's rare that she doesn't figure out the solution right away, which means she probably hasn't had all the clues presented to her yet. Not only is she very good at solving mysteries, she's very perceptive and good at recognizing clues. So far everything she's been presented are clues gathered by other people. I have no doubt she could solve this if she were able to investigate herself.
Suiren: Careful, or you'll ruin your appetite. Jinshi: I'm a grown man. Maomao: Highly debatable from what I've seen.
Okay, I'm going to side with Jinshi on this one. Like, let the man eat if he's hungry. Also, isn't this his house? Why does everyone get to have an opinion on when and what he eats? Or how he behaves. Jinshi already lives in a fishbowl with eyes on him and every action he takes. It would be nice if he could have a little slack in his own home. But that is not his fate. He's destine to be slowly driven insane by endless demands and expectations.
Finally, Maomao will be able to see the kitchen where the poisonous meal was prepared. No doubt she'll be able to solve this now.
Maomao meets up with Basen. And it took me a moment to remember where I heard that name before, but this was the officer Jinshi was sparing with (shirtless!) way back in episode 5. He was kind of a hot-headed fighter, but was humble enough after Jinshi kicked his ass. He's being a dick to Maomao here. Now I just want to see Jinshi beat his ass again. Maomao says she's never seen Basen before but that he looks a bit familiar. What the hell? Like, is he related to someone she knows? You know what, I'm already working on trying to figure out Maomao and Jinshi's parentage, I'm not going to waste thoughts for fricking Basen.
I lied. This is actually going to bother me.
The only thing I can think of off the top of my head is that he has crazy hair just like Lakan, but Maomao hasn't met him, so how can he look familiar. Fuck it.
So Maomao and Basen take one step into the kitchen and a dude runs up and demands they leave. It's not at all suspicious.
Damn it Basen does look familiar doesn't he? But like who?
Maomao finds the seaweed that is out of season and steals some on her way out. Thievery is becoming a habit for Maomao. She explains that the seaweed was improperly prepared before being shipped to this region, so it was never detoxified. She implies that it may have been intentional and the others know what to do from there.
We see a humous scene of Maomao explaining that the seaweed is toxic and proceeds to eat it. Jinshi is about at horrified as he can be. To be clear, he has the appropriate reaction for when someone consumes something poisonous. Jinshi forces her to take an emetic agent and vomit it back up before she can allow her experiment to begin. Once again we see her disregard her own wellbeing to pursue her study of poisons. It's reckless behavior. I understand that she doesn't have an ethical way to run these experiments, but one doesn't risk their own life or health for the pursuit of knowledge without having a pretty messed up sense of the value of their own life. She could have done this experiment in private and tried to hide it, but instead chose to do it in front of Jinshi and Gaoshun. I wonder if she was curious to see their reactions, or if she was even hoping they would respond this way. That they prevent her from hurting herself is a sign of their care for her. Will she be able to understand that and internalize it? I'm not hopeful.
Oh, that not at all suspicious younger brother was the culprit who bought the foreign seaweed? You don't say. Okay so he felt he wasn't treated well as the younger brother. Is this the same dude from the end of the last episode when someone was whining about being "worthy too?" So the mysterious guy who happened to be around the night Sir Kounen died, was also around to suggest to this murderous little brother, that he import toxic seaweed from the south. What is that serial killer up to? Does he have a larger goal? Is he part of a conspiracy?
Maomao, I think is tidying up Jinshi's bedroom, and is in a terrific mood, dreaming about how to use her caterpillar fungus. She accidentally is overly welcoming to Jinshi, and it is too much like a scene from one of his fondest dreams, so he smashes his face against the wall. These two cannot keep going on like this. Jinshi is desperate to move things forward with Maomao, even if he is holding back for now. And Maomao cannot pretend to be oblivious to his feelings forever.
Jinshi is exhausted. He has a lot of work to do, and Lakan has been making his life harder than usual.
Finally we get more information about Lakan. He's past forty, a high ranking military office, and a weirdo. I'm always looking for long lost parents, and this guy is a prime suspect. And he could work for Maomoa, Jinshi, or Basen. The fact that he's a "weirdo" makes me lean towards Maomao. Also, his strategic mind. Though I suppose that could be descriptive of Maomao or Jinshi, I think it fits Maomao better.
Jinshi says he thinks Lakan has it out for him, because he keeps causing trouble, plus the man has been in his office for the last few days. Probably ever since he heard about Maomao.
Jinshi is opening up and sharing his frustration about something going on in his life, and Maomao decides it's not her problem, so she doesn't need to care.
On the one hand I get it, she's trying to stay out of things that aren't her business. We see that consistently with how she avoids gossip. She may also feel that since she is merely a servant, that her opinions wouldn't be welcome here. But either way, Jinshi has decided to open up and share something, and she just disregards that. Frankly, it's rude.
If a friend wants to share something with you, you should make some effort to listen, it's how you build and nurture relationships. Of course that is likely the heart of the problem here. Maomao is terrified of intimacy, and this is a lot like actually being friends. She can't allow it. At least not with Jinshi.
We have seen Maomao sit and listen to Xiaolan, chatting about all kinds of different things, and I'm trying to remember specific examples but I think she would be willing to listen to the ladies of the Jade Pavilion or Verdigris House. I at least don't remember her ever straight up bailing on a conversation like this. It's really only Jinshi that gets this kind of treatment, and it's because he's the biggest threat.
She could be friends with just about anyone else, but with Jinshi, it's a slippery slope. If she allows a deeper friendship to grow, what's to stop her from continuing to tumble, until she fall completely in love?
Foreshadowing:
Maomao: Enough of that. It's not like it affects me, right?
Right.
And for as much as Maomao would love to check out of what Jinshi was saying, in truth she's bothered by it. The skies are cloudy, and Maomao's got a bad feeling about Lakan. She's worried about Jinshi. I wish Maomao had a therapist.
So we finally get a scene between Jinshi and Lakan. And what a scene it is!
Lakan arrives with fake smiles and words with hidden meanings. Jinshi is on guard from the start.
Lakan wants to talk about Verdigris House. He had a connection with a courtesan there who was a master at Go. Lakan lost his chance to buy her when her price went up during a bidding war. The courtesan he's talking about was an interesting one, who sold her skills but not herself, and wore a haughty expression. Jinshi unwillingly relates to Lakan when he describes the joy of being glared at.
Jinshi can't help himself and keeps asking questions even though he is aware that Lakan is luring him deeper into this conversation. Does Jinshi have an interest in this conversation? What Lakan's goals are here, Jinshi doesn't know, and I don't either, but Jinshi and I are both pretty sure it has to do with Maomao.
Lakan did something to the courtesan to lower her value, but doesn't want to reveal his misdeeds without a favor. Lakan asks to meet Maomao, and refers to her as Jinshi's servant rather than his concubine, which is interesting, following the conversation that preceded this ask. There is a mystery that Lakan wants to get to the bottom of, and he wants Maomao to take a look. Jinshi allows it. Maybe trying to find some peace from the endless trouble that Lakan has been causing him, or maybe he is agreeing to something, something mysterious that was being discussed in this conversation, that wasn't said aloud.
So time for a wild theory. I'm wondering if Lakan is Maomao's father and if the courtesan might be Maomao's mother. The thing he did to lower her value may be to impregnate the woman. Was he able to purchase the woman? Did he move her into the annex? Is Lakan a rotten piece of shit, and Maomao's mother faked Maomao's death and asked Luomen to help get her away from Lakan? If so, and Lakan suspects who Maomao may be, then his conversation with Jinshi may be a chance to see what Jinshi knows. Lay out some pieces of the story and see if Jinshi reacts.
And now I wonder, just how much does Jinshi know?! Does he know about Maomao's parentage? Is that why he couldn't help asking more questions? Is that why he agreed to allow Lakan to see Maomao. Is this some kind of tacit agreement, like fine you can see her, but don't tell her any of this shit?
In the final scene the rains have come. Trouble has arrived.
To start from the beginning:
Episode 1
Next Episode:
Episode 16
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peachesancreams · 7 hours
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Expanding on the Wives
everyones favorite asexual serial killer and his cute wifey! this one is marked mature as it is his serial killing days. I will be going into all their deaths on the third part so stay tuned~
Alastors wife
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Okay so I said Al doesn’t remember how they first met and he doesn’t mainly because I personally headcanon that he has a lot of trauma in accordance with that time. Mainly at the hands of his father, which more then likely is one of the core manifestations of his future MO for being a serial killer, being that he killed ‘bad people’ and never outright leaned toward killing women. Do I think he did? Yeah someone had to have seen something at one point and Alastor isn’t one for lose ends. (I’m sorry guys you’re gonna see a lot of me info dumping, serial killers psyche and the types are a special interest of mine)
They meet when they were kids, him just running around New Orleans learning the streets and how to use the alleys to make a quick getaway. It had helped him more then on one occasion growing up in that day and age, more so when people knew of his parentage. Not that he was ashamed but rather no one Likes Pain much less children, and unfortunately other children will do as they see their parents do. Rosalind had been reading on the steps on the library when he had ran into her. It wasn’t any kind of meet cute considering they got into a argument about who’s fault it was, kids am I right?
They kiddos had decided that they both were ultimately at fault, him for running when Mama said not to rush and Rose for sitting on the steps where people walk. They’d shook on it and had spent the day talking about some radio stories, Alastor eventually telling her about his dream of being a host himself.
They meet up regularly and talked about the many things kids find important. Until Rosalind’s Pa died and her mother had to move them back up north. The saddest part was it all happened so rapidly, Rosalind hadn’t had time to find Alastor to tell him. Her mother kept Rosalind close to her through out the process of the funeral and the move, having heard of the company her daughters been keeping but also to grieve with her daughter.
Thus she moved away and Alastor slowly forgot the face of his friend. He remembers having a dear childhood friend but figured they, like everyone else heard of his heritage and left him.
Meanwhile up north Rosalind was dreaming of going back to the south. She thanked her lucky stars her fathers family lived down in Louisiana still, she sent letters often down to her cousins asking about life and how is dear New Orleans changing?
When she was 18 Rosalind decided to make the choice to move down south. Her mother had gotten a urgent letter from her aunt raving about how her cousins were living in sin and needed a good girl like Rosalind to guide them. Of course this was only partly the case, their cousins mother had actually passed in the fall and one them impersonated her as to fool Rosalind's mother.
They made this plan as to get Rosalind out from her mothers thumb, wanting her to stay close and up north together. It was not that Rosalind didn't love her mother she just didn't want to be smothered by her anymore.
Now for the second and remembered meeting!!
Once secure in the South her cousins had decided to celebrate! What better way to celebrate gaining independence in the 20's then going to Mimzy's club! Bonus her cousins worked there as showgirls(have to make money somehow...) so they were familiar with the atmosphere.
It had been fun, they drank and danced some. It was only when her cousins had been swept onto the dance floor by two different gentlemen that Rosalind finally felt conflicted. Truth be told she had been having mixed feelings all night, but now alone with the gazing of hungry men feasting on her flesh.
Heading to the bar she ordered herself a drink, trying to call the bartenders attention. It was when a smooth voice called above her head that the bartender finally looked over.
"John my good man! My usual drink for me, and one for the lady as well."
Now at this time Al has been establishing himself in his career for a while, I imagine at this time he had actually just scored his first segment. It was some news on event in town and weather reports, he still has a small way to go till he can report on what he really wants. The Local Crime segments, the man who does it now Tyler put people to sleep the way he drones.
He had come to Mimzy's tonight to stalk his next hunt. His radio career wasn't the only one he had been curating and growing with time. He started his murder career with a truly vile man, his father. No one thought much of the hunting accident, his father was a drunk and many had the opinion it had been bound to happen. Filled eith righteous fury, he went after only villainous people. Muggers, rapists, a fellow murderer, and well an unfortunate witness.
Alastor had been eyeing this particular prey for a while, a rapist who preyed on woman. Alastor had watched his prey pick out his own prey for the evening, watched him circle like a vulture. He took notice of the woman, a soft smile on her face but discomfort colored her brows. It stirred something in him, a flash of his mothers face making his grin feel strained.
Alastor doesn't know why and could only put it to words after when he was in Hell. He interrupted his preys hunt to intercept the woman, buying her a drink. The conversation was stimulating, and having her not fawn over him was a nice change. Despite his small role in the station his popularity grows by the day. What can he say, he has a voice made for radio!
They hit it off from there, him quietly offing his prey another night. No need for vermin like him to linger around. After all Ms. Rosalind frequently met him at Mimzy's so there no reason not to keep the place...tidy so to speak.
Rosalind felt like she was in a fairytale, not only was she able to get a job as a poster painter(lots of prints were handmade back then!) but Alastor, a radio host with a career on the rise, seemed to fancy her.
She didn't realize who Alastor was until they'd gotten married, saw a picture of him and his mom he kept in the back of a bible. She also realized he didn't remember her, it made her a little sad but she remembered the bruises he would show up with and forgave him in her heart.
Speaking of, they were only together for like a month before getting married. And the proposal was at his house! He made dinner and lit candles, and made sure to be his most charming.
Rosalind could only say yes to her dear sweet Al. The thing that had gotten people talking is that she hadn't gone home that night. Alastor was never huge on touch but always seemed to gravitate towards her space. That night they'd cuddled on the couch, exchanging small kisses until they'd fallen asleep.
It’s had started the rumor mill but what made it a full function factory was how the wedding ended up being a month later. So many older ladies comforted her saying ‘first babies are always late’, Alastor had gotten a good laugh out of her flushed face after. She had scolded him but couldn't put any heat behind it, weak as she was to his smile.
They never were physical together, it just wasn't something either of them wanted. They didn't desire each other for the body itself, but for the company and conversation. It was a lovely union, Alastor being attentive to her labors praising her work in the house and garden.
Speaking of her garden, since I see the house being his parents before his own. The garden was originally his mothers. It had fallen into deep disrepair since she had passed, as he had no talent for gardening. With his little wife however it had returned to its old splendor.
Where he didn't have a talent for the green, he did take well to his fathers old hunting lessons. Something he found himself indulging in as a married man. Fresh vegetables and herbs along side some fresh venison, made for a wonderfully fresh meal you couldn't find anywhere else. Who knew all it took was one these hunts for him to disappear from her life forever?
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3-2-whump · 3 days
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Tying Up Loose Ends
<prev
Okay I'm back!
(But you had hardly left!)
Whatever! Here's the next chapter and the conclusion of this
TW/CW: creepy whumper, jealous whumper, manipulative whumper (I guess?), nsfwhump (not graphically described), noncon (at the very end, not graphically described, and honestly you could end the chapter just before it happens and it would still make sense)
A rhythmic series of knocks reverberated through the door of the office at half past eleven, just as Thomas had planned. He scooted closer towards his desk and minimized the windows he had opened on his desktop PC. “Come in,” he replied.
The door cracked open. The kid –Nico, my nephew, Michael once told him–stepped hesitantly inside, shoulders to ears, brows drawn tensely. “Y-you wanted to see me, Boss?”
“I did.” He gestured to a chair in front of the desk. Nico approached it stiffly, visibly uncomfortable being so close to the Don of the Costa Family. “Oh come on, sit down, I don’t bite, you know!” he chuckled.
Nico briefly looked around the room, eyes bright and alert. “Wait, where’s Khaled?” he asked, blinking at the empty space behind the Boss’ chair.
“On a coffee run,” Thomas answered simply. He suppressed an eye roll as Nico looked down, squinting at the bottom of the desk as if he could see through it if he stared hard enough. He cleared his throat, and Nico snapped his gaze back up. “I could ask him to get you something before he leaves the café, if you’d like?”
Nico shook his head. “I wouldn’t want to inconvenience him like that,” he insisted. The young man drew back the chair and took his seat across from the Don, and waited in questioning silence.
No matter how many times he had rehearsed this meeting in his head, nor how many arrangements he had to make over the past couple days to lead the boy to this point, Thomas still couldn’t help the nerves that feathered into the edges of his composure. Keep it cool, keep your tone calm, never betray how you truly feel, stay in control, a familiar voice once told him.
“So, how’s school?” An innocuous line, and as good an opener as any.
“Great, it’s been great.” Nico huffed an awkward little laugh as he hung his signature smile. “Which reminds me, thank you so much for allowing me this job in the first place, sir! I never got to thank you properly, or in person before-”
Thomas stopped him with one raised palm. “Hey, hey, that wasn’t all me. Let’s give a little credit to your Uncle Mike, too, right?” Nico conceded with another awkward laugh. “I understand it that this job helps you pay for your schooling, is that correct?”
“I mean, yeah,” Nico began to answer. “I don’t know how much college was back in your day, let alone law school-”
I never went to college, Thomas remembered, trailing off into his own thoughts as Nico kept nervously rambling. That was never really my scene. Never really had the brains for it, or the personability, according to my teachers. My brother, the Golden Child, on the other hand…
He redirected his thoughts at the right time where Nico started to complain about the most important part. “Wait, can you say that again?” he requested.
“My last tuition payment didn’t go through,” Nico repeated, an edge of desperation in his voice. “And if I don’t scrounge up enough money within the next two months, I won’t be able to afford my next semester’s worth of classes!”
Thomas gave a sympathetic expression of concern, even though he knew about this all along. After all, he was the one who delayed the payment to the college. “Is that so?” he asked with feigned interest.
The door cracked open again, though this time a familiar young intern entered. He cradled a cup of coffee in one hand and carried a takeout bag in the other. The guard whipped his head around, nearly bolting from his chair in shock. “Khaled?”
“Nico?” The boy approached, dumbfounded as he wordlessly set the spoils of his errand onto the Boss’ desk.
“You actually were out?” This time, Thomas rolled his eyes. Was it so hard to believe he used his fuck toy for honest work sometimes? (He supposed maybe yes, considering how much Nico had probably inadvertently witnessed over the past three years.)
Khaled’s well-timed entry provided a natural transition to the second half of his plan. “Speaking of which, I would like to thank you for looking out for Khaled this last weekend,” Thomas said. His boy silently took up post behind the desk, standing up straight with eyes slightly downcast, as he had trained him. “You’re a good kid for that. Most guys, they probably would’ve taken liberties, but not you.” Thomas craned his neck to look over his office chair. “Isn’t he a good kid?”
“Yes, sir,” Khaled readily agreed.
“Oh, no, please, I’d have done that for anybody! He’s my friend.” Thomas noticed how Nico cast a furtive glance at the boy behind him.
Friend, my ass. The very thought of how ‘friendly’ those two might have gotten had he not intervened that night made him seethe in possessive jealousy, though he maintained that icy façade of control.
“Of course, even if Khaled doesn’t remember it, you and I both know he was a wreck, wasn’t he?” The boy had sworn up and down and sideways that he didn’t remember what he had told his friend that night, no matter how much he’d tried to beat a confession out of him. Thomas leaned over the desk, dropping the volume of his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. Since Khaled still had no idea what he had told Nico, the next best course of action was to discredit his words entirely. “He was saying some pretty crazy things, wasn’t he? Things that you and I both know not to take too seriously?”
“Well… I don’t know” Nico began, “don’t they say ‘in vino veritas?’”
“Don’t they also say ‘God don’t pay tuition?’”
You’re being too blunt again, a familiar voice in his memory chastised. Yet he couldn’t help but smile as he saw understanding dawn on the young man’s face. “Well, go on,” he coaxed the young man standing behind him. “Tell him.”
Khaled bristled uncomfortably before hanging his head low. “He’s right,” he agreed somberly. “I may not remember what I said, but, it was probably not true. You should just forget it.”
“But, Khaled-” Nico began to protest.
“You heard him yourself, kid,” Thomas cut in. “Now, you’re gonna forget whatever it was he said when he was wasted, and just keep studying hard, alright?”
Nico attempted to make meaningful eye contact beyond the boss’ shoulder, but Thomas didn’t have to turn around to know Khaled would keep his eyes firmly fixed to the floor. The young guard let out a defeated sigh as he slumped back in the chair and offered a small, reluctant nod. “Yes, sir. Like it never even happened,” he muttered.
Check mate.
“Good boy.” Thomas leaned back in his chair, his hands folding on the top of the desk as his mouth curled into a small smirk of victory. “Now, try contacting Student Financial Services again. I have a feeling your tuition payment might’ve been resolved after all.” He waved him off with a final self-satisfied smile. “You may go.”
The kid looked green around the gills as he pushed himself up from the chair and excused himself from the room. As soon as he left, Thomas swiveled around to face the boy behind him. Khaled ventured a resentful, hopeless glare into his owner’s eyes before looking once again to the floor. “Well?” he goaded. Khaled did not rise to the bait.
Thomas pushed away from the desk, motioning to the familiar darkness underneath the hardwood like he was commanding a dog to lie. “Go on.” He took a sip of the slightly cooled coffee as he watched his intern crouch and fold himself into the space with stiff reluctance. “You know what to do, and you know how hard you need to work to get back in my good graces,” he sneered. “Now, put that tongue of yours to a better use.” He pushed himself back in and trapped the young man underneath the desk.
Le Tag List: @kabie-whump @rainydaywhump @whumped-by-glitter @skittles-the-whumpee @generic-whumperz @bamber344
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gregmarriage · 2 months
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me as a kid being like ‘i wanna stay home all day and do whatever i want!’ and adult me being chronically ill, disabled and bed ridden ✌🏻
#like be careful what you wish for kid#sisters to me at 2020 new year’s being all ‘i just want something interesting to happen!!’#i think you can see where this is going#like yeah something ‘interesting’ did happen#a global pandemic happened and you got really sick and hospitalised multiple times#more times than you ever have in your life#august isn’t just my birthday month anymore#it’s also the anniversary of being getting hospitalised for the first time and all the horrible shit starting up#which is fun#like i’m turning 25 this year and then like 3 days later: trauma time!!!#it’s been four years this year#actually quite sickening#four years ago i was physically healthy#this shit really does just come out of nowhere sometimes and completely changes your life and you just have to deal with it#because you can’t change it no matter how much you might wish for it#all the people thinking they’d never get disabled#neither did i#no one expects to be 21 and stuck in a hospital bed#i’ve blacked out most of that time#like i genuinely don’t remember most of my 20s#even the non traumatic stuff#my brain just decided to get rid of it#and i can’t tell if my personality is bred from trauma or just bc i’m in my 20s now#it’s so hard to work out#bc i’m unsure if ppl who knew me before would even recognise me#have i changed or am completely the same?#i suppose being recently manic has left me questioning a lot of things#i’m basically revisiting a lot of stuff in an attempt to better cope and understand my triggers etc so i can better deal with the next one#honestly my brain has blacked so much out i don’t even remember having manic episodes#even tho i basically know i did
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mamawasatesttube · 2 months
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timcassie is so compelling to me. they were not into each other even a little bit. it was such a messy coping mechanism fuelled entirely by grief. they were making out with each other because they were both substituting each other for kon. cassie was far more aware she was doing this than tim was. unironically, dating a girl here is one of the gayest things tim has done
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blue-mood-blue · 1 month
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What if Hua Cheng had memorialized the temple?
I don’t think he did, canonically. I imagine that was a memory he wasn’t keen to linger on, especially not to such an extent as to record it, to hover over the details in his mind and commit it to physical imagery. But I could see where he might - maybe catharsis, so that night can exist somewhere outside of his head. Maybe twisting, spiteful justice, so the world won’t be allowed to forget what it did to his god. Maybe just desperation, to record every shard of Xie Lian that he has in an effort not to lose a single piece while he searches.
It wouldn’t be graphic; I think it would be something more stylized, more symbolic. Xie Lian is tied to his own altar. He has replaced the divine statue that should be there instead, the god made present the way he was for Hua Cheng once, the way he was for all of his people once. He is surrounded by blades, but they aren’t piercing him yet. Hua Cheng can’t do that to him even in paint. Bai Wuxiang is not featured, because Hua Cheng would not force any version of Xie Lian into that monster’s presence, but there is a ghost fire hovering near. There is a small, crushed flower on the ground at the foot of the altar, like it was dropped from the Flower Crowned Prince’s hand moments before. The entire tableau holds its breath in the anticipation of something horrific.
It’s painted in a shadowed corner, with a cloth hung in front of it. Not out of shame, or even because of Hua Cheng’s own trauma - out of respect for the prince’s privacy, unwillingness to make a moment of such incredible, painful vulnerability a spectacle to anyone else without the prince’s say-so.
That doesn’t stop Mu Qing from finding it.
Mu Qing, who was already horrified, Mu Qing, who was looking for Xie Lian to drag him out of the caves immediately because he’d seen a statue that suggested things he would rather not think about in regards to his former prince… Mu Qing brushes the curtain aside in that tucked-away corner and stops.
A hundred blades are pointed at His Highness. A hundred faces leer and sob and stare. And Xie Lian sits at the center of it all, head lowered, waiting for the slaughter.
Is it so unreasonable that Mu Qing takes it for a threat? Is it so unreasonable of Mu Qing to drag Feng Xin to what he’s found, for the both of them to slip an arm around each of the prince’s own and pull him away from wherever that altar is somewhere in the complicated network of twisted, obscene worship? That thing painted on the wall - it can’t have ever happened. They would know. Mu Qing and Feng Xin, who spent every day of their early lives with the prince, beside the prince, trailing along behind the prince… they would know. They would have been there; they would have prevented it. This is the fantasy of a ghost king who laid ruin to thirty-three heavenly officials and found his thirst still unslaked.
(Mu Qing does not consider the eight hundred years of Xie Lian’s life he knows nothing about. Feng Xin does not consider the eight hundred years of Xie Lian’s life he knows nothing about. It’s a habit they’ve grown skilled at, over eight hundred years.)
They don’t explain to Xie Lian, so Xie Lian has no opportunity to explain to them what they saw. And Mu Qing isn’t wrong, when he concludes that Xie Lian has been stalked and watched and hunted since he was seventeen. He isn’t wrong. He just doesn’t know, yet, what direction the threat is coming from. There’s no time for anyone to tell him, or Feng Xin, who tied the restraints and provided the sword.
They’ll find out. Masks are made to be removed.
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you know if we do accept the last epilogue-esque sequence as a sort of dream/wish of ted's and therefore not necessarily canon, very funny if we then simply go "yeah, trent's book is called 'the lasso way' actually. he didn't change that. nope."
#listen on one hand#i think that like#i don't think ted actually changed trent's mind about the title#i think trent changed it because ted asked him to#and like that's especially interesting bc he even made a point of being like#'tell me if you disagree with anything and i'll tell you why you're wrong'#but he respects ted; more than that he likes him and he wants him to like the book--like him#anyone else and trent would have told them to fuck off but ted? ted asking him to change the title? yeah#i think he didn't agree with 'it not being about him'--and not bc of any feelings he may have for ted--but if we accept that him changing#the title is canon then like. he did it because ted asked. nothing more nothing less#maybe he felt he owed it to ted as the subject of the book; maybe he just respected him too much not to#maybe it's partially bc of his feelings; maybe it's because he just couldn't say no to ted#but it's ultimately just. because ted asked him.#and trent respects him; trusts him; cares about him#and that's pretty heartwrenching#but like on the other hand if we say 'no that was ted's wishufl thinking trent definitely went 'sorry ted it's called the lasso way''#also like.... him being like. like quietly not changing it and if ted said something him just. being like#ted. i respect you. i care about you. i trust you. but with all due respect absolutely not#yes it isn't ONLY about you but YOU made this happen. YOU are special and YOU have a place here whether you can stay forever or not#yes it's about the team and the coaches yes you aren't a one man band but ted. TED. you touched lives. you changed lives. and that was YOU.#that was you and your philosophy and your attitude.#you made richmond what it is today. yes the team deserve credit too for the kind of bond they have now but YOU facilitated that#none of the coaches currently here woudl be coaches if not for you. the diamond dogs wouldn't exist. literally every single one#of our friends--OUR friends--wouldn't be where they are and probably wouldn't be as happy#you got through to people over and over again who were hurting and lashing out. to rebecca. to roy. to jamie. to nate. to me.#and you can be humble but there's being humble and there's acting like you don't matter to any of us like you didn't have an impact#like you can just leave without a trace. we don't blame you for leaving--i especially don't--but acting like we won't miss you and like#your time with all of us--our time--meant nothing is more insulting than it is humble because we /love you/#and yes. it was the goddamn lasso way that built this place#this community.
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