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#this shit really does just come out of nowhere sometimes and completely changes your life and you just have to deal with it
gregmarriage · 2 months
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me as a kid being like ‘i wanna stay home all day and do whatever i want!’ and adult me being chronically ill, disabled and bed ridden ✌🏻
#like be careful what you wish for kid#sisters to me at 2020 new year’s being all ‘i just want something interesting to happen!!’#i think you can see where this is going#like yeah something ‘interesting’ did happen#a global pandemic happened and you got really sick and hospitalised multiple times#more times than you ever have in your life#august isn’t just my birthday month anymore#it’s also the anniversary of being getting hospitalised for the first time and all the horrible shit starting up#which is fun#like i’m turning 25 this year and then like 3 days later: trauma time!!!#it’s been four years this year#actually quite sickening#four years ago i was physically healthy#this shit really does just come out of nowhere sometimes and completely changes your life and you just have to deal with it#because you can’t change it no matter how much you might wish for it#all the people thinking they’d never get disabled#neither did i#no one expects to be 21 and stuck in a hospital bed#i’ve blacked out most of that time#like i genuinely don’t remember most of my 20s#even the non traumatic stuff#my brain just decided to get rid of it#and i can’t tell if my personality is bred from trauma or just bc i’m in my 20s now#it’s so hard to work out#bc i’m unsure if ppl who knew me before would even recognise me#have i changed or am completely the same?#i suppose being recently manic has left me questioning a lot of things#i’m basically revisiting a lot of stuff in an attempt to better cope and understand my triggers etc so i can better deal with the next one#honestly my brain has blacked so much out i don’t even remember having manic episodes#even tho i basically know i did
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lynnlovesspidahman · 9 months
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this is me trying.
peter parker x reader
part 2. || part 1.
masterlist.
warnings : angst, mentions of violence, swearing, lots of self-doubt (peter im sorry)
word count : 2.7k
summary : There’s always two sides to a story. An apology is put into place.
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Peter felt like he was living three different lives at once.
Each taking so, so much energy every single day.
His job, an assistant for Dr. Octavius at Octavius Industries. He felt guilty for arriving late every day, and still somehow having a job.
Peter was smarter than Doc, they both knew that. So that meant he would be called to office very, very often.
Usually because of some mistake Doc had made while working on the new prototypes of prosthetic limbs.
But the pressure it brought could get to be too much sometimes. One small mistake could cost millions of lives — or dollars — if not noticed early enough.
But he knew it would help the world someday, in so many ways. The exhaustion was totally worth it.
Spider-Man. Peter had loved and genuinely enjoyed playing his alter-ego.
Constantly, day and night, he was out. Out saving people everywhere. Sure, his work wasn’t appreciated by everyone but it was 100% worth it — to him.
But Spider-Man came with considerable costs. His everlasting lack of sleep. Peter can’t remember the last time he really got his 8 hours. The bags under his eyes made that apparent enough.
The physicality of the job, how many times had he stopped a car with his bare hands? He lost count years ago.
The bruises, cuts, broken limbs, brought immense pain, even to Spider-Man. Sure, he can heal faster — a nights rest, a heating pad, and your some soup is more than enough — But that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
And the emotional weight it brought.
The crimes haven’t slowed, if anything they’ve gotten much more prominent all around the city.
The overwhelming amount of times he has to swing across New York to fight off large groups of thugs has become too much.
And honestly, he’s so sick of it.
And so, Peter stopped pulling his punches as much.
The guilt didn’t come until later.
He climbed through your apartment’s window after a long, long night of patrol.
You were sitting there — unaware of his presence— watching TV, all cuddled up on the corner of the couch with your mini Spidey plush.
“Hey, beautiful.” He called out to you.
“Holy shit-” You jumped and turned around to look at him. “You can’t just pop out of nowhere like that, you scared the hell out of me.”
You got up and walked towards him, “Was patrol okay?”
“Uh, yeah it was alright, kicked my ass tonight though. I’m worn out,” He stretched his arms above his head.
“Hm. Why?” You raised an eyebrow at him.
“Uhm, I mean I fought bad guys all night?” He scoffed, a stupid question, he thought.
“Or was it because you practically killed someone tonight?” You bluntly said.
You had taken a step away from him, like he was a danger to you too.
“They were a criminal!” He shrugged.
“Why does that matter? You can’t just completely take someone’s life away. That’s not who you are. Before you say you didn’t, you came real close to.” You stood your position.
It felt like you shot him straight in the heart.
He should’ve listened to you. But instead, he took a shot right back at you, a shot to kill.
“Again, they’re criminals. I’m sorry I had to calm things down somehow. I’m sorry I needed to do something to catch a break for once in my damn life. And you’re not exactly helping that.” He looked away from you. He felt ashamed.
You were right, he knew that, even then. But his pride couldn’t let him admit it.
“What is wrong with you? You love Spider-Man. And you always talk about how killing sickens you. You’ve changed, Peter.” You spat back at him.
He should’ve just ended it there, stopped the excessive violence, stopped the fight. Maybe then he wouldn’t have been in your kitchen on that faithful Tuesday.
It had been two days since that argument.
His almost perfect rep was officially ruined (Jameson had a field trip that day, too). The stress was at an all-time high.
He almost couldn’t handle it. He didn’t want to anymore.
He was still so angry at you for being right. Because you always were.
You were the one who kept him balanced, who took care of him no matter the time of day or night.
He hadn’t been back to your apartment since the fight, either.
But he would return to it after a tough night the day after. And the next.
And you forgave him, so fast (He took you to see the Barbie movie, paid for every snack and drink you could’ve wanted. It was indisputable on your end). The guilt from what Peter’s put you through has just stacked on and on.
Now he really couldn’t handle it anymore. 
And so, there he was. Sat atop a random rooftop rethinking everything.
He debated his life. His three lives, more like. Which parts were worth it, and which weren’t. (It was really fucked up, who measures parts of their life in worth and just decides which to throw away?)
He couldn’t lose his job, how would he make money?
He couldn’t stop being Spider-Man, he knew that.
And there was you. The biggest and undoubtedly the most important part.
But you were also easy to throw away, he thought.
So much stress and time would be lifted off of his shoulders.
(Little did he know, it would be the complete opposite. His injuries didn’t heal all the way like they did when you took care of him. Every time he was hurt, it would linger for days at a time. He missed how much you’d worried for him. He really took you for granted.)
And so, he decided in the next couple of weeks, he would break it off.
And he did. On the Tuesday the following week.
He looks back on it — to this day — and realized everything he had said to you that evening, wasn’t directed at you. It was directed at himself.
Of course he enjoyed loving you. He didn’t enjoy being himself was what.
He needed to be his best for you because he couldn’t be with anything else. He failed at being the friendly and reliable Spider-man. Him and Doc didn’t get the grant they’d been needing for so long.
And when he did try to improve when you called him out that night, it just wasn’t enough.
He didn’t deserve you.
He took everything out on you, he didn’t mean a word he said. But you didn’t know that.
Peter never had an outlet to take anything out. He couldn’t leave you with every burden of his life, Doc and him weren’t that close, and May couldn’t know he was Spider-Man.
He snapped that Tuesday.
And there’s nothing more that he regrets in his entire life.
But he couldn’t burden you anymore. He wouldn’t.
He did nothing but keep you up late at night, hurt your feelings, and make you do everything for him.
Peter loved you. And he couldn’t let himself torture you like this.
So he forced himself to let you go. You would move on, anyways. He couldn’t.
He listened to every single one of the voicemails you sent.
Every. Single. One. He’s never heard you sound so down (Because of him, nonetheless).
It took so much out of him to not respond. More than what he had to give.
And after five weeks, he finally caved.
He texted you.
9:52 PM
Hey, beautiful.
You wouldn’t forgive him quick this time, he knew that. This time wasn’t just some fight. He tore your heart apart.
But he would work for your forgiveness, he swore to himself, God as his witness.
You read the message immediately. He knew you had gotten off of work, so it wasn’t completely abnormal.
But you didn’t respond. He checked his phone all night and the next morning (He was desperate for something, even if it was an angry text. He hated nothing more than you ignoring him).
So he texted you again. He just went straight for it this time, no holding back anymore.
1:16 PM
Can we meet up?? I think we can agree there’s still some loose ends we need to revisit, together.
Read 1:18 PM
He was patient this time. He tried stepping in your shoes, and it broke his heart. He couldn’t imagine you snapping on him like he had.
He couldn’t live if you were angry at him like he was at you. And if you weren’t going to respond again he was debating on just showing up to your apartment. Can’t ignore him that way.
2:12 PM
Y/N 💞 : “Loose ends” is a funny term. You mean when you randomly showed up to my apartment and broke up with me for the stupidest reason?
He cringed. This was a dumb decision.
2:12 PM
I know, trust me. I just want to talk. And explain myself.
Explain my biggest mistake. I’ve never regretted anything more than leaving you and taking the anger at myself onto you.
He debated on sending the message, but he didn’t.
You would just see it as him trying kiss your ass into forgiving him. It worked before.
2:14 PM
Y/N 💞 : Peter, why? Why are you only just know texting me? Why are you trying to meet up when you tore my heart into pieces? Why are you seeking forgiveness randomly?
Why are you asking such hard questions, he wanted to ask.
2:14 PM
Idk, I miss you?
I miss you and still love you. I regret that night so much.
Can you just hear me out? Please?
Nothing sounded right. But he just went for it, again. At this point, he was pacing across his rooftop, anxious for your response (If you even gave him one).
2:15 PM
Y/N 💞 : Peter, I swear. If you make me regret this, I’ll come for you. Worse than any enemy you’ve ever faced and ever will.
He laughed at that one. You wouldn’t —right?—
2:15 PM
I won’t, Y/N. I promise. Tomorrow, Micks at 3?
Read 2:16 PM
You left him on read, but he counted that as a success — you didn’t refuse his offer so.. —
He would come back from this. He has to.
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Peter was late. Fuck him.
Why did you even give him your time of day anymore? This man could tear you apart and you still gave into his words.
3:13 PM
Peter 🕸️ : Babt, I’mso sotry. I got caugjt up with worl, I’m bloxks away I sqaer.
You could barely understand him, but you were used to his usually proper grammar slipping while he was swinging.
How dare he? How dare he beg you to come out here and he gets to show up late??
He practically busted the restaurant’s door open. He rushed to your table.
“Baby I-”
“No,” You interrupted. “You don’t get to call me that. Fuck you, asshole. You ask me to meet you and you show up late? Are you kidding me?” You crossed your arms and stood up from the booth you were sitting at.
“Y/N, I’m so, so sorry. I got caught up with Doc at work. Huuge internal wiring problem. I don’t even understand how he could’ve messed it up so badly,” He talked with his hands, he was so cute when he did that.
You took a step towards him, and slapped the shit out of his stupidly attractive face.
“You don’t get to break me and show up late when you wanted me here.” The tears were back. You were livid. You shoved your finger into his face as you scolded him.
“I know, I know. I keep fucking up and I’m sorry. Lets just sit down and let me explain everything. I promise you, it’s worth it.” He put his hands on both of your shoulders to keep you from leaving and tried to calm you down.
“Hands off,” You pulled his hands away from your shoulder and slumped back into the booth.
You wanted to go home.
“Okay, okay.” He sat down and stared at you.
“Well?” You waited, “Let’s hear this explanation,” You rolled your eyes.
“Well, uh-” He paused for a moment, “I don’t know how to start.”
You waited for him to continue, arms still crossed. You really didn’t want to hear him out.
“Do you remember when I almost beat the life outta that guy? Like a month ago or something?” He asked.
“Yeah.” You rolled your eyes again, not exactly a good moment to bring up.
“I feel like that’s where it started,”
“Mhm..” You nodded for him to keep going.
“I started slipping. I stopped pulling my punches and I was so stressed out every moment of my life. A-and one day I just got so sick of it,” He started choking up, you almost felt bad for him.
“So I sat down and tried to organize my life. I wanted to rid myself of stress and try to free up time for myself in order to y’know, rejuvenate.”
You sat there, you were expecting plain excuses. But it seemed he had something real going here.
“I couldn’t rid myself of my job — how else would I be able to live? — and obviously Spider-Man isn’t a choice. And there came you. The best and biggest part of my life.”
You raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.
“I was stupid, I thought that by taking a break, I’d feel more free. And feel more.. well less stressed out. If I had something to myself then I would be better and feel okay? I don’t know.”
You narrowed your eyes at him.
“Don’t look at me like that, please. I was so overwhelmed with everything. I’ve been so behind on rent, and crime just never stops around here. Its like it raises more and more every week.”
“I thought-” He took a deep breath, “I thought that if I had one less chore — trust me you are not a chore to me — life would get easier.”
You’re guessing he tried to rephrase his words he said before, he’s almost repeating himself.
“But it didn’t. At all. I was in pain all the time — emotionally and physically — it didn’t help at all. I said I didn’t enjoy loving you. I lied. I didn’t enjoy loving myself- or being me.”
Your heart clenched for him. He hurt you so bad, but hearing how he truly felt made you slightly reconsider things.
“I didn’t enjoy the stress of my life, and I don’t have any outlet for my anger. And you forgave me so easily the last time we fought. And I guess I took advantage of that. I took all of the hate I had for myself onto you. I think that will forever be my biggest mistake.”
Your eyebrows scrunched.
“I love you. So much, Y/N. More than words can describe. I’ve never regretted anything more in my life and I can’t ever be away from you, again.”
“I broke it off thinking it would cause me less stress, but I understand now that it was you who took the pressure away. Being away from you, Y/N,” He laughed (At his own pain, seemingly). “I’ve never felt shittier in my life.”
Your tears flowed. Your expectations were well exceeded. He’s fucked up so much, but he makes up for it every time. And this time, it wasn’t done by kissing your ass and spoiling you, you recognized that.
“I can’t explain how sorry I am. I regret what I did to you that night so much. More than anything in the world. I just hope you can understand that.”
“I hope you can understand me.” He kept eye contact, his eyes were watery. “I know how complicated I can get,” He let out a breathy laugh.
“Pete.” You just about whispered his name.
“Yeah..?” He wiped his eyes on his sleeve before answering you.
“I forgive you.” You smiled, still crying from his well thought out (you had to give him credit) apology.
“Wait- Really?”
“Yeah. I do.”
He stood up and hugged you from across the table.
“But..”
“But..?” He repeated you, curiously. He let go of the hug to look you in the eyes.
“You’re gonna have to pay for the meal if you really want me back.”
He laughed.
“I love you.”
He grabbed your cheeks and pulled you in for a kiss. He’s never kissed you so hard.
Stunned, but pleasantly surprised, you sat there for a moment. Unsure of whether you should kiss him or not.
But you grabbed his collar and melted into the kiss.
No matter how hard he had broken you, his words brought you back to him.
And you wouldn’t regret it, you knew that.
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part 2 is finished 🥹
just wanna explain a few things just in case:
peter is a lil ooc w the excessive violence and it’s not him to be like that but i feel like every body gets to that point where everything can be just too much. even spider-man.
i also feel like he needs a healthy outlet for his feelings, being spiderman, he’s constantly busy. not exactly easy to make friends. but also being spiderman, he doesn’t wanna leave y/n with all of his problems, he’s supposed to be the hero. so he bottles it all up. to the point where he just burst one day and took it out on her. (not good!!)
also i felt like him being a man, he’s going to feel insecure if y/n’s the one taking care of him all the time. he’s the man, it’s supposed to be the other way around, but it’s not. and that’s okay!! often times, old traditions still lies deep within all of us. men’s mental health matters too!! men can still feel insecure!! EVERYONE DOES. but that doesn’t mean we (as people) can take out our insecurities or anger at ourselves onto other people. most times, they don’t deserve the hate we bring onto ourselves.
that being said, not everyone can be perfect. (peter is a great example) we’re all going through something in life and are constantly being tested. but, the biggest thing is to always persevere no matter what. you’re never going to have more on your plate than you can handle. if you’re struggling, always remember to reach out to someone. a loved one, a professional, or even me. my dms are always open. i love you all. 🩷
anyways,
likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated!!
i hope you all enjoyed this story as much as i liked writing it 💗💗
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onetuffbunny · 2 years
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I: Lucretia My Reflection
It's not that Lucy doesn't like spending time with her Dad with her younger siblings around because she does but one, Pru has absolutely no off button and you can only play-wrestle so much in a day before you have to do other things. Two, Avery's four. What the hell are you supposed to talk to a four year old about? Three, sometimes she just wants to hang out one on one with him. Four, and most importantly, they literally suck the life out of people.
It's not like they can help it and it's not they even know about it (well, at least Avery; her sister, meanwhile, loudly exclaims that she's a secret vampire any chance she gets but when Lucy herself was a kid, she pretended she was possessed by ghosts, so that might just be a weird ten year old thing rather than any actual knowledge on the issue) but there are some days when the only thing keeping Dad from napping all day is a really, really unhealthy amount of energy drinks. On the plus side, he's getting out bed, which is an improvement over the Bad Times, but on the downside, that's gotta be bad for your heart.
"Anyway, that's why you should always carry a compass when you leave the house. You never know when you're going to get lost in the woods when you're just trying to get back from the grocery store," Dad says.
He lines up his shot, misses completely. When she comes down, he always wants to play mini-golf at this kitschy place with black lights, and every time, he loses. She knows it's on purpose because scatterbrained as he might be, Dad does have ungodly skill at games, only rivaled by R.A. Honestly, she wishes he'd just play for real sometimes but he's not going to do that.
"We should put a microchip in you so if you get lost, they can just scan it and take you back home," Lucy replies. It's a very sensible idea, clearly.
"Woof, I guess," he says. "Hey, not to change the subject or subject you to changes, but, uh, I wanna apologize for comments of an earlier nature. You’re an adult and you’re free to make your own decisions but, like, just make sure they’re careful and safe ones, okay? But if you ever do stupid stuff, just please call me and I’m not gonna judge.”
Lucy’s determined to lose to her dad for once. Her ball goes nowhere near the hole. Success.
“I am not going to do cocaine, Dad,” she says. “I am 100% never going to do cocaine.”
"Yeah, and don’t do the other stuff either! There are at least three other drugs! Don’t do any of them. And if you’re going to smoke pot, just don’t do it a whole lot, okay? You’re an adult but your brain’s still growing, you gotta keep it in tip-top shape, and also it’s bad for your lungs, so if you’re going to get high, I dunno, eat a gummy or something in a safe environment. Also, if you ever pick up a cigarette, I am personally going to walk over to California and kick your ass. But, like, with love. Also, I know that realistically speaking, you’re gonna drink before it’s legal, like it’s almost a given, I know how you animation students are, but, like, be really careful, okay? And don’t do it much. And don’t go to wild parties underage because then someone’s gonna call the cops and then you’re gonna have to run from the cops. And don’t you ever get in a car after drinking. If you drink and drive, I’m gonna kick your ass for realsies. Drinking’s about the quickest way to fuck your entire life up, Goose.”
“We’re genuinely too busy trying to reach homework deadlines to party, Dad. It’s their way of training us for the soulless capitalistic grind that is the modern animation industry,” says Lucy and then she reaches for his hand, squeezes it. “But also I swear, I just smoke a little pot sometimes while playing games.”
He squeezes back.
“Okay. Just be smart, okay? I want you to turn out better than me. When I was your age, I did a lot of stupid shit. A lot.”
Lucy decides to squeeze back as hard as possible.
“When you were my age, you had a whole ass baby. Fucked up.”
He does not squeeze back as hard as possible because Lucy might be strong as fuck -the rare jock in a sea of nerds at school- but that might actually snap her hand bones, but her dad does give a very fuckin’ firm squeeze back before laughing and letting her go.
“Yeah, dude, I know, right? To this day, I ponder what may have become of that baby. I hope she grew up to have superpowers,” he says. “Hey, look, I know I can be kind of a killjoy sometimes but I just want you to know that I’m real proud of you, okay? You’re a groovy human being and I just think you’re neat as fu...heck. And you are killing it in college and wow, that’s great. That is really great. I used to worry a lot that you wouldn’t be able to go and like...holy shit, you got a real frcikin’ good scholarship, you’re going to be an animator, wow. So, you know, keep on being cool.”
Her dad very theatrically sniffles, possibly to cover up the fact that he is, in fact, getting genuinely a little teary there.
“An attempt will be made,” Lucy says and then nudges him lightly with her club to indicate that hey, mini-golf won’t play itself. “You ever think about going to college? You could get into something besides cutting grass. It’s not like you’re too old or anything.”
Which, incidentally, she sincerely hopes he’s not doing that anymore because even if he hasn’t confessed it, she knows he’s a vampire, but she also knows it was never his main source of income. Her dad’s firmly shut the door on ever acknowledging what he actually does for a living and Lucy sure as hell isn’t over here prying for the details.
“Not particularly interested in getting in debt the rest of my life for something I’m gonna fail, kiddo,” he says. “Took me long enough to get my GED and I don’t got the kind of background that office jobs are gonna like. Been thinking about going to beauty school though. I mean, I can style a mean wig and I think I did your hair okay.”
“Yeah, you should! I bet you’d be good at it.”
The ball accidentally goes a little too close to the hole and Lucy can see her father’s visible frustration that his shot wasn’t properly terrible.
“Anyway,” he says, “I guess I just wanna promote an environment where you can come to me about stuff without judgement because my own dad...oh boy. We still don’t talk. When your dad treats real minor stuff -not even anything real bad- like the worst shit in the world, it just makes you wanna do real major, real stupid shit and, like, then you wind up sixteen and living in a rest stop, so good job there, Dad. So, like, if you ever need to tell me anything, even if it’s something stupid you’ve done, I’m here.”
Lucy’s a pro at mini-golf and deftly knocks his ball away from the hole so they can both lose.
“Okay, Dad,” she says. “And...if you need to, you can tell me things too, okay?”
They have a pretty good time playing together, just the two of them. Lucy loses at winning, which means that her dad’s won at losing. Later, they go back home and Prudence celebrates the occasion by gifting her dad the best fireworks fifteen dollars can buy at the roadside stand.
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sukunasweetheart · 2 years
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oddly specific relationship hcs for sukuna (modern au) sfw content
wrote this as i suffered from a heartburn
a random habit he will definitely develop is slapping/groping your ass when he walks by while you’re busy doing something around the house
also just biting you out of nowhere - just a light sink of his teeth, not too much strength in it
expect your arms/neck to be littered with mild bite marks on the daily
its just his strange way of showing affection
sukuna would like it if you bit him back
he’d laugh at you, bc your bites are so petite in comparison to his
i already mentioned this one in a previous post but im saying it again; he loooves pretending to feed you something only to put it in his mouth instead
loves playfighting you often, but most of the time its just him completely dodging all of your slaps and punches and kicks
whenever you ask him to do something for you, he will say no but immediately proceed to do it for you
e.g if you asked him to pass the tv remote - he would say “no.” with a straight face, while passing it over
you text him asking him to buy pizza on his way home for dinner tonight, and he’ll reply with ‘no’ but then come home holding like 4 pizza boxes in his hand
i think sukuna would also like pinching you
not the stinging kind, just like a light squeeze
this man really loves inflicting minor pain on you 😟
its sometimes difficult, bc you feel that he doesnt take you seriously at times and when he does all of this while youre in a bad mood, things dont end very prettily and you end up arguing with him over some stupid shit
he doesnt let you send him to the couch tho
he doesnt make you sleep on the couch either
so you guys just end up doing petty tug of war with the blanket on the bed until he eventually rolls over and spoons you bc he’s already sick of this cold war
if you push at him and tell him to go away, he’ll say “shut up and stay still”
fights with sukuna never last very long bc hes not the type to drag things out
also when bits of a food turn out ugly or something, he’d eat them and give you all the perfect ones
e.g if theres like an ugly slice of pizza or a chicken, he’d eat it himself rather than give it to you
it doesnt mean much, sukuna just doesnt care whether a food looks weird or not as long as it tastes good but he knows you value food aesthetic more than him so he gives you all the perfect looking ones
“it’s ugly like you,” he comments, holding up an weirdly shaped chicken nugget that he promptly pops into his mouth seconds later
please please please touch his hair
he will fall asleep in your lap within seconds
and then become grouchy when you stop
touch him anywhere tbh, sukuna loves your attention
he’s always the one exploring your body so he wants to change it up sometimes and let you do it to him instead
does a complete 180 in his attitude when youre sick ngl
so soft and nice, youre like 🤨 who is this
also does not give a shit about transmission; he doesnt care if you have a cold or not, he WILL come in and cuddle you and kiss you
whats even more surprising is that he’s never gotten sick from you before, despite all of this - and he flexes about that too smh
the moment youre all better tho? back to being his usual self
at the end of the day, he loves you very much and good luck to you bc youre stuck with him for the rest of your life
Masterlist
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icantspeakspanish · 2 years
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Obey Me! Brothers react to you behaving like an older, caring but short tempered sibling
a/n: i have no idea how thisll do because for some reason i only post haikyuu content on here🧑‍🦯 || i had to rewrite this entire thing because tumblr just decided to crash outta nowhere😐
Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor
masterlist.
Lucifer
he was pretty much the first one to notice how you treated him he brothers and also like, but he didn’t say anything
you weren’t harming or anything, so lucifer’s fine with it
UNTIL you notice how much he overworks himself sometimes
that’s when he’s getting bothered😭
you can’t really tell a demon to go to fucking sleep you tried, it didn’t work🙄
so you’ve come to the decision that it’d be best if you’d stick around in his room until he goes to sleep
why this would change anything you may ask?😟
because you’re annoying the living shit outta him as you should
putting this aside, y’all also often get bothered by the other ones behavior
cuz oldest sibling stuff, the usual shit
BUT as soon as you guys get over these „differences“, you become the most horrific duo in hell
GET IT SIS
that also goes for lucifer’s brothers
when someone messes something up, they’ll feel the DOUBLE pack of sibling wrath
that does not mean that y’all wouldn’t have the others back when they need you
Mammon
swears you’re the best thing that has ever happened to the devildom
all because one time, mammon really wanted something but didn’t have enough money anymore
so youre like:“how much is it?“
and him, not expecting you to actually get that for him, just answering casually
till you wipe out your money and give it to him💀
„wait, are you serious???“
„yeah“
you ain’t even looking at him🥲
as you may have expected, he’ll use that more often now😒
remember how he swore that you’re the best thing that has ever happened to the devildom??
takes everything back as soon as he sees ya angry
Never stopped breathing so fast after hearing „god fucking dang it, Mammon!!“ shout through the entire house
And he can’t lie to you 🥱
Sometimes, the teasing and blaming by his siblings gets the best of him
You SENSE it immediately when something shifts in mammon so you’re quick to make the others stop by either threatening to embarrass them or really just yell the SHIT out of them
It works 😍🤞🏻
And you comfort him too😠
Leviathan
Do i even need to start
Homeboy BARRICADES himself in his room sometimes
🥱🚪 <- you at his door on your nightly round, throwing water and food into his room
Reminding him to stay fucking hydrated, eat his fucking food you protected with your life to not let beelzebub get it
AND OPEN THE FUCKING WINDOW??
He thinks you’re a good listener
And you show interest in his hobbys even though you maybe don’t understand a word
He really appreciates you for violently taking care of him🥰
Still respects you☝🏻
Fucking joking, Levi is terrified of you when you loose your shit
Lovely☺️
Satan
Underestimates you SO HARD BRO
Like mammons like „and then, they yelled at me…“, and he’s like:“Y/n is a human. You can snap their neck, why are you terrified?“
Yeah bitch you tHOUGhT🖕🏻
Views you completely different after you made a demon feel bad by yelling💀
„yeah its basically— did you just grump at me? What are you, a fucking dog??“
„Y/n, that is a demon.“
„so??? no one gonna raise their voice at me.“
Mama ain’t raised no bitch
Thats how he respected you
Listen.
Satan starts loving you after you get him a cat😭
He goes 🥺
„Really????“
You’re also honest with him when you think he’s either in the wrong or right with Lucifer
Will rather listen to you JUST TO PISS LUCIFER OFF LMAOOOO
Asmodeus
HES AMAZING FR
He sees you having a stressed skin and assumes its because you’ve been kept awake day n night because of his brothers
And says you’re very welcome for a skincare night😩😭
I LITERALLY CAN NOT
talking bout love interests all the WAAAAAY
Like you guys are besties, exchanging tea, gossiping n all😭
Will hide behind you when Lucifer gets angry at him because he knows you snap back💀
When something happens, his eyes go immediately to you checking if you jus saw that too HAHAHAHAH
I LOVE ASMO HEY
Will threaten anyone, even in the human world, who’s in question to date you if they break your heart😚
Beelzebub
🥺…
HES SO ADORABLE JEPCJKNWEJNFPIWEJNCF
Beel tries his best to avoid making you angry
And when you’re on your fifth way to the kitchen at 2 AM to get lucifer his fifth glass of milk to fall asleep
You see him sitting there like ☹️
„Hey Beel, what’s wrong?“
„Im hungry.“
You look around a bit confused, then get an idea
„I can bake you a cake if you go back to sleep then?“
„REALLY😲“
So there you go
Screw Lucifer’s glass, he asleep now anyway😠
Some low demon was mean to him?
You’re bout to go feral
One of his brothers picked on him eating
The house is on fire
everything for this men🙄✌🏻
Belphegor
….😄🔪
THE FUCKING BRAT
ITS ALWAYS THE YOUNGEST SIBLING
Belphie LOVES making you angry
Belphie HATES you treating him like a fucking child and all of his words are cries😭
Like he’s trying to provocate you and you look deadass at him and go
„You’re done?😐“
You both try to not smack each other for beels sake <3
437 notes · View notes
buckysbabygorl · 3 years
Note
Hello! Idk if you’re currently accepting requests right now and if you aren’t, feel free to ignore or delete this! If you are, I would like to request a fluff oneshot with the reader (who possesses the ability to fly with wings) is practicing with their ability outside of the avengers compound one afternoon and standing in the field is Bucky, just watching them with pure adoration. 🥺
I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR THE LENGTH OF THIS REQUEST 😭
Flight Risk
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Word Count: 1.7k
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Masterlist
~
“MOTHER FUCKER!”
Y/N fell once again as she took lift off.
At least she had manage a few feet this time.
Holy hell was this hard.
She looked to the clouds from her position in the grass, admiring the fluffy clusters above her. When she was younger, her mother told her they were made of the fallen feathers of angel wings, accumulating in soft mounds throughout the sky.
She reached to touch the end of her own wings, though they weren’t white, she liked to think that’s what the clouds above her felt like.
She knew they didn’t, in fact they didn’t feel like anything. Just cold, moist. Or so she had been told. She hadn’t felt them herself yet.
Her wings hadn’t been operational that long ago: DNA splicing experimentation and strenuous surgery had only produced these miraculous appendages on a  whim, she had been the only successful subject. There could have been more, but thankfully the Avengers stepped in once hearing that Zola’s previous experimentation had influenced a small group of mad scientists to use similar technologies. Kidnapping thousands of travellers throughout the decades and only recently been finding themselves successful in their results. They attempted to give people gills, fins, horns, hooves... and in Y/N’s case, wings.
They couldn’t send Y/N back into society; they knew she wouldn’t be accepted or be able to live a normal life. She was free to return to civillian life if she chose, but the team made her aware that she was more than welcome to join them.
So she did.
She surprisingly had proved herself to be a usefull asset, wings aside. She was strong, fast, cunning, high above the rest (both literally and metaphorically). She was a superhero now.
But unfortunately, she had no capabality of flying.
“I can teach you,” Sam said, “It’s not that difficult.”
“Your wings don’t count,” Y/N said, “Yours are mechnical. Mine are natural.”
“Well, as natural as science experiments can be.” Bruce said.
“Shut it,” she teased.
Technology aside, Sam had seemed like the only one with somewhat similar experiences to teach her some minor details.
He gave her the basics, but she was alone now.
Huffing, she lifted herself from the ground and dusted her clothes off. She shook out her wings, adjusting her shirt so that they didn’t bunch at the shoulders.
“Come on, you got this. Just bend, brace, expand, flap--”
She tried again, shooting up with wings narrowed. She then unfurled them as she rose higher into the air, but as another gust of wind came she found herself faltering and tumbling back down.
Bucky took out his earbuds as he jogged by. He hadn’t noticed her before, adjusting to the early morning hadn’t left him very observant of his surroundings. He watched as her wings spread, her eyes on the sky above. He couldn’t help but chuckle as she struggled to stay up, frustration scrunching her face.
“You okay? He called out.
She rested her hands on her knees, looking up at the voice. A small smile breaking her thoughts as she realized who it was.
“Yeah.” She called back.
He jogged to her place in the open field, slowing as he neared her and stuffing his hands in his pockets.
“Flight practice?” He asked.
“Not really,” she said as she crossed her legs, “It’s more ‘breaking for impact’ practice at this point.”
He laughed softly, bending to sit beside her as she checked her knees for scrapes.
“I take it Sam didn’t really give you the best advice.” He said, reaching out to run his thumb over a small bruise on her shin.
She sighed, “Well his heart’s in the right place but--we’ve got different mechanics. I don’t think he can relate to this. Not that many people can...”
She ran the back of her hand along the length of her wings, flicking upwards as she reached their soft end point.
Bucky admired the light brown color of her wings, reminding him of the sparrows that sometimes stopped on the windowsill of his bedroom. 
He was never really subtle with his staring, Sam had actually labelled it as his biggest problem. She wasn’t an exception to that; he often found his eyes chasing after her as she exited rooms, her expansive wings encompassing her figure. 
“One day she’s gonna catch you staring,” Sam warned, “you better hope she doesn’t kick your ass. She could get the wrong idea...”
Bucky didn’t like that her phrased it that way; as if he was gawking at her. He wasn’t looking at her like she was some freak, or a circus sideshow. It was more like... admiration.
She was beautiful.
He thought she was beautiful.
If anyone had taken a glimpse into his mind, it would be easy to understand that he wasn’t looking only because the wings were breathtaking, he felt she was too.
“Can I?” He asked.
His hand was held out in a loose open palm, just above the bed of feathers.
She nodded, and he ran his knuckles slowly along the length in the same way she had before.
They tickled slightly, the nerve endings in his fingers seemed to buzz. His hand shook slightly as he flicked upwards at the point, and she giggled quietly.
“It tickles when you do it.” She said.
He smiled, “Same here.”
He gently picked at blades of grass that had stuck to her wings,  “How long have you been out here?”
She looked up at the sun, noting its change in height.
“A few hours I think. I didn’t want anyone to see.”
“Well, sorry for the intrusion then.” 
She shrugged, “It’s alright. I like having you around.”
A blush creeped up his cheeks, and he ducked his head more, pretending to really focus on pulling out grass.
“So--uh, where do you think you’re going wrong?”
She chuckled at his bluntness, only further embarrassing Bucky.
“I don’t know. In my lift off I can’t make it stick. It just doesn’t feel natural.”
“Alright”, Bucky wasn’t sure how to help her, it wasn’t like he had any personal experience himself. “Well, what does feel natural?”
“What do you mean?”
He leaned back to lie on the grass, hands cradling his head as he looked up.
“I guess--I mean, when you look at birds, they just start flapping. That’s natural for them. Humans don’t fly; Sam’s wings are mechanical…”
Y/N realized early on in their relationship that Bucky had a tendency to ramble; though he liked when others were “to the point”, he lacked that quality himself. But she knew if she was patient, he’d get there eventually. And truthfully, she quite enjoyed listening to his tangents.
“...so Sam’s advice is based off what the wings are designed to do. Maybe you need to try testing it out the natural way. Move your wings in a way that feels right. Does that make sense?”
No, it didn’t.
But she smiled anyway, “Kind of. Like, don’t think about it and see where my body takes me?”
He chuckled, “That’s a weird way to phrase it, but yeah, something like that.”
Suddenly she stood up, making Bucky jump slightly.
She was no longer looking at him, only closing her eyes and expanding her wings.
He liked that she was a “0 to 100” type of person, out of nowhere she’d get an idea and then it was all action.
She let the wind ripple through her feathers, and she tried to gauge the current off her wings.
Don’t think about it… what feels right?
She couldn’t put it into words; but as she focused on her surroundings, feeling the breeze… some kind of instinct came over her.
Wait…
Bucky intently watched as she inhaled; steading herself as her wings unfurled.
Wait…
As the sun gleamed behind her, leaving him completely consumed in her shadow. 
It was breathtaking.
Her eyes snapped open.
Now.
The sudden flap of her wings threw Bucky back, the hard beat shooting her upwards and leaving him in the grass.
Each stride she took was with purpose, and before they knew it she was flying higher than she ever had before.
Bucky stood, laughing and smiling in awe as she soared along the current.
The wind roared in her ears, so loud she could barely hear her own laughter.
She was amazed, she was flying.
She let the wind pull her, ducking her wings and shooting off in another direction.
Bucky spun around in circles as she flew around him, trying to catch her figure against the blinding sunlight.
He was dizzy, but he couldn’t take his eyes off her.
“Jesus Christ,” he said to himself. He cupped his hands over his mouth to amplify his voice, “You’re flying!” He screamed.
“I’m fucking flying!” She screamed back.
Just wait ‘til Sam saw this.
But then she got cocky, dipping further than she should’ve.
She caught a draft that clipped her wing.
It was too late to catch herself before she was fluttering to the ground.
“Shit!” She screamed.
“Shit.” Bucky muttered.
He started running in her direction, arms reaching out like he was catching a football.
“I’ve got you,” he cried, “I’ve got you!”
He caught her just in time, bracing for impact as they both crashed into the ground.
Hair windswept and cheeks red, Y/N screamed out in happiness.
“Oh my god, did you see that? Did you see me?”
He couldn’t help but laugh and shake his head as she dramatically recounted the experience, his arms firmly holding her against him.
“And then I was like whoosh and the wind came and it was like AHH and then--”
She was cut off by his lips on hers.
His lips were soft, his touch surprisingly gentle for such a gruff man…
Her eyes closed and she pressed further into him, deepening the kiss.
He pulled away, leaving her more shocked than the flight had.
“I’m sorry,” He started, “It’s just--”
He looked into her eyes, unable to explain it all. How could he? She was just...
“--I think you’re amazing.”
She smiled back at him, “Oh I’ll show you amazing.”
Her hands wrapped around his collar as she pulled him back in for another kiss.
Bucky would have to remind himself to interrupt flight practice more often...
~
I hope you enjoyed @halietigges this request was so fun to make!
Taglist: @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @dumb-ass-writer @cuddlycalcifer @babyblue-07 @babybluereads @lonewolf471 @emmabarnes @niiight-dreamerrrr @julipmoon @fandomsfallnomore @elliee1497 @godspeedlover @sexwithhiddlesbatch @annestine @shower-me-with-roses @yougottalovefandoms @rebekahdawkins
527 notes · View notes
seita · 3 years
Text
— reacting to your death.
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includes: oikawa, iwaizumi, matsukawa, hanamaki, + kyoutani.
+ this is childhood friend!reader.
tw: major character death, grieving, blood and violence mention.
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p a r t o n e ;;
⤿ part two: next (coming soon!)
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-ˋˏ seijoh ˎˊ-
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— tooru oikawa.
to tooru, the best course of action is to ignore it.
ignore the hurt, ignore the pain.
ignore the news completely.
in his mind, you’re just on vacation. or maybe you’re mad at him and ignoring him. you’ll come back.
he makes up scenarios and reasons in his head for why you’re not around. iwaizumi is angry, always yelling at him for being an idiot when he brings you up. but he doesn’t understand why.
he won’t talk about it. he doesn’t even acknowledge you’re gone until the funeral.
+
his hands are clasped in front of himself. the suit is uncomfortable and he doesn’t want to approach the casket. iwaizumi stands beside him, a sharp scowl plastered on his face.
“are you finally ready to face it?” he asks, keeping his voice quiet so the grieving people around them aren’t disturbed.
oikawa huffs out a laugh but it’s shaky -- watery. he’s trying so hard not to cry that it’s making his throat close up painfully. iwaizumi relaxes beside him with a sigh, his shoulders sagging before placing his hand on the taller’s shoulder.
“she wouldn’t want you to ignore it, shittykawa,” oikawa wants to laugh at his friend using that name even in the current situation.
typical iwaizumi.
always a pillar. always trying to be the strong one.
suddenly, oikawa finds himself wondering what your place in their little dynamic was. it feels like he can’t even remember you properly. it’d only been a few days since they lost you and it already feels like he’s...
“i don’t want to forget her,” oikawa suddenly chokes out, unable to stop his tears from falling finally.
“well then don’t dumbass,” iwaizumi’s voice was breaking, choked as he cried but oikawa didn’t want to look because he didn’t want to see his other friend falling apart as well.
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— hajime iwaizumi.
he does not have good coping methods. his first and most immediately reaction is denial. he doesn’t want to believe what he’s hearing, so he just...doesn’t.
he assumes everyone is lying to him. there’s no way he could lose you. you’d been his friend since you were children; it’d always been you, iwa, and oikawa. so how could you possibly just be...gone?
the answer? you couldn’t.
that’s what he chose to believe, anyway.
+
“what are you talking about, shittykawa?” he snaps, refusing to pull his nose from his notes, “i think this has to be your worst joke yet.”
“it’s not a joke,” oikawa sighs, shuffling on his feet as he sniffles. if iwa chanced a look up at him, he’d see his friend had been crying for hours. but he wouldn’t look. because he didn’t want to see it, “her mom tried calling you...couldn’t get a hold of you. so i thought i’d...”
iwa slammed his notebook down, glaring straight ahead, “i told you to stop playing these stupid fucking jokes on me. it’s not funny.”
“iwa-”
“get the fuck out,” iwa jumped to his feet, grabbing the other brunette by the shirt.
the fabric creaked as it stretched. but oikawa didn’t put up a fight, letting iwaizumi toss him out of his bedroom door. he hit the floor with a thud before wincing at the deafening slam of the bedroom door.
iwaizumi sit back down, pulling up your text message. he had never answered your text asking if he would be alright studying on his own today. he had meant to answer but just forgot. his thumbs moved across the keyboard, eyes blurring with tears as he typed.
“come over. we can hang out together, okay?”
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— issei matsukawa.
he was the first to admit that he wasn’t the best friend to have. he was sort of ghosty and a bit unreliable. he doesn’t mean to be. you knew that. he knew you did.
so there’s no way you would be upset with him, right? not for what he did.
he lets his own guilt eat him alive. even if everyone on earth told him it wasn’t hit fault -- he still puts every ounce of blame upon himself.
he lets it eat him alive. he thinks he deserves it.
because he let you down.
+
he stared at his phone. sometimes he could clearly see what he was looking at and other times it felt like he blacked out.
it was your text thread.
it wasn’t unusual for him to ghost you. he was never very talkative. you liked to tease him about it from time to time.
still, looking back, he could have at least responded this one time.
he doesn’t even remember what he was doing. probably nothing as important as it felt at the time.
“can you come pick me up?” it was a simple question. he hadn’t even bothered to ask where you were. if he had, he would have known you were only 10 minutes by car. it would have taken no time at all to stop what he was doing and go get you.
he wonders how long you had stared at his read receipt, wondering if he was going to come. he’ll never know.
he’ll never know the answer to why you were out so late. why you needed him to pick you up. how you felt in your last moments. he wondered if you thought of him then. if you blamed him. if you were sad or hurt by his ignoring you.
why didn’t he just go get you? why didn’t he answer you?
if he had, you would still be safe.
he wishes he could talk to you again. tell you that he was sorry. he didn’t know how important it was. he didn’t know you were scared -- that you weren’t safe.
he wanted to apologize, tell you that whatever stupid shit he was doing was nowhere near as important as you were.
he wanted to know if you had thought about him in your last moments -- the one person you had reached out to for help.
only for him to fail you.
he just wishes you knew that he didn’t mean to let you die.
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— takahiro hanamaki.
it’s gotta be a joke, right?
ha-ha really funny. come out now.
when you don’t he’s confused. this really isn’t funny.
you can’t be gone. you can’t. because he needs you.
who else is going to help him during exams. or laugh at his terrible jokes. or make him feel better when he has his heart broken. what about when he’s sick? who will make him that amazing soup that always has him better in a day?
he refuses to let you go. he can’t be without you. it’s just not realistic.
so just...come out of wherever you’re hiding now, okay?
+
he tries to force the smile to remain in place as he stares at the unfamiliar faces in front of him.
“what um...what do you mean?” he laughs nervously, placing his hand to rub nervously on the back of his neck.
they repeat the news. it goes in one ear and out the other. he laughs, ignoring the confused look on their faces.
he takes a few steps back, shaking his head.
“that’s a...real funny joke. i’m just gonna...” he feels tears stinging at his eyes but he doesn’t know why. it’s obviously just a joke. he doesn’t want to be that dork who cries over a practical joke, “go call her now.”
they don’t try to call him back, pity on their faces as he slumps away, phone in hand as he dials your number. he’s pretty sure he’s far enough away when he starts crying at the sound of your voicemail.
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— kentarou kyotani.
kyoutani copes violently. if there is one thing he doesn’t like, it’s change. and there’s no bigger change than losing someone you’ve known your entire life.
he didn’t have many friends -- really you were the only one he was comfortable actually giving that title. so without you, he had no one. he refused to let you go.
anger builds and builds.
and without you there to mellow him out like you usually do...it explodes.
+
there’s a fist sized dent in the wall. or maybe 4.  his knuckles are busted open and bleeding but he doesn’t feel the pain. his shoulders are heaving but even after lashing out he doesn’t feel better.
what is he supposed to do?
usually he calls you.
usually you come waltzing into his bedroom with a frown, ‘kenta, you can’t do that!’ you’d scold him. but you wouldn’t.
he knew you wouldn’t.
but that didn’t stop him from hoping.
god, he wanted you to walk in so bad. even if you didn’t knock. sometimes he would get so mad at you for that. but right now, he would give anything to hear his bedroom door fly open.
he held his fist close to his chest, squeezing his eyes closed to keep himself from crying. he never cried. he didn’t want to start now. he clenched his jaw together aimed his fist at the wall again, a large cracking noise coming from the plaster as if caved under the pressure.
then, almost as if it were out of his best dreams, the door clicked open. he whirled around with wide eyes, hope sparkling within them.
only to find the troubled face of tsukishima there instead of you.
kyoutani finally allowed himself to cry.
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© all content belongs to seita 2020. do not modify or repost.
1K notes · View notes
whumpzone · 3 years
Text
Linden & Colton - 19
(masterpost)
CW: references to noncon, Col fearing he'll be sexually abused, flashbacks, brief victim blaming, pet whump, dehumanisation
-
Linden’s phone buzzed again, and he knew exactly who it’d be before he even looked.
Sure enough, messages from his brother were crowding his phone screen. Vikram texted in small, frantic messages, that Linden found oddly funny.
lol fine knowing you you’ll never suggest a day
are you free tomorrow? I’ll come over for lunch or something
you know you miss me!!
Linden rolled his eyes, but truth be told, he did miss him. A new message appeared before he had the chance to start typing.
fine FINE I just want to see jaffa. you can die idc
That made him huff out a laugh, but he’d never give Vik the satisfaction of knowing that. Instead, he typed back:
Tomorrow is fine, don’t worry about bringing food. What are you doing now? Can you ring me? I have something to tell you before you visit.
Vik replied almost immediately.
yeah gimme 2 secs, who have you killed lol!
He checked around for Colton, but he was nowhere to be seen. Probably still working his way through the little chores and tasks Linden had given him, which meant he was either changing the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom (great for dexterity) or watering the balcony plants (providing plenty of fresh air and sunlight). Either way, he still positioned himself in the corner of the lounge, the furthest from his Pet’s ears.
He answered on the second ring. “Vik?”
“Hey, big man. You alright?”
“Yeah… yeah… I, um, I need to tell you something before you come over.”
“You sound tense, mate. What is it? Everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine it’s just- I have a Pet. Uh. Yeah.”
Vik didn’t miss a beat. “Are you serious? You, a Pet owner? Please.”
“I know, but there was this, this ad, in the paper, the council were talking about this random stray and they said if no one claimed him they were gonna put him down. They would have murdered him, Vik! And I don’t know. I just thought, fuck, no one else is gonna do anything are they. So I rang them up and they gave him to me for free.”
“Wow,” Vik said, a placeholder while he digested all of that. “So, how is he?”
“He’s alright, yeah. Only recently learned that he could speak. He’s still really really jumpy.”
“He’s scared of you, then,” Vik translated.
“Yeah. I don’t know how much of him you’ll see tomorrow. I’ll tell him it’s alright if he just stays in his room.”
“I can’t picture you as a Pet owner, even though you’re not a proper one.”
“Not a proper one as in I’m a good person with a soul?” Linden quipped. Vik snorted.
“Basically. Ew, it’s weird! He does whatever you say! But you’re just- you’re Linden. You’re my stupid baby brother. He should be telling you what to do.”
Linden smiled. Vik always put him at ease. Difficult topics seemed to flow off him like water off a duck. “Yeah, yeah it is kind of weird, I’m still getting used to it. But you see why I wanted to let you know beforehand.”
“Oh, yeah, totally,” he laughed. “Or else I might have thought he was burgling your house and I’d have asked to join in.”
“Oh, shut up. See you for lunch.”
“See you, Pet man!”
Linden felt the weight lift from his shoulders, but not entirely. Now he had to tell Col.
. . .
He had finished over ten minutes ago. Shiny drops of water still lingered on some of the wider leaves, not quite ready to drop into the moist soil below. But the balcony was too warm and sunny to resist, so Col was still kneeling there when he heard Master’s voice behind him.
He flinched hard at the sound, getting up quickly and ungraciously, tripping over his own feet as if he hadn’t just been caught lazing around.
Through the doorway, a perfect rectangle of light caught Master’s face, cutting down through one eye and turning his left cheek a tawny brown. He had his hands clasped behind his back, and leant forward slightly.
“Don’t worry about getting up, you’re fine, love. No, I don’t know if you heard, but I was just speaking to my brother Vikram over the phone. He’s going to visit tomorrow.”
Master was having a guest. Col nodded, but his mind went white. He suddenly felt like he wasn’t in control anymore. He was underwater, and Master’s voice barely faded through from above the surface.
“You can stay in your room, okay? You don’t have to come down and see him, if you don’t want to. There’s no pressure. I just wanted to let you know beforehand.”
The words flowed past his head, and whatever barriers had been pulled down over his mind kept them from making a dent. “Thank you, sir,” his body replied.
“Okay?” Master half-smiled. “Okay. Good stuff, Col. It’s a nice day- stay out on the balcony more, I know you like it there. I’ll see you later, okay?”
He nodded, but it must have been delayed, because he blinked and Master had left the room, as if he had never been there. Had Col dreamt it?
Turning around, the flowers were wet, so he had completed that task. He knew he had been ordered to stay, so he did, trying to keep the creeping dread from flooding him entirely.
But-
The next day-
It all came crashing down. His eyes snapped open and he was in his room, waiting, and then there was the click of the front door and Master was speaking, speaking with another voice- there was a man in the house-
Master only ever had guests when his Pet had been bad, and he was going to be taught a lesson, and that’s why he was told to wait in his room, that’s why he was prepped, maybe it was a small mercy. But he had been in such a state of denial, barely able to process the news, that he hadn’t done anything to make it hurt less.
All he knew was that he was on the floor in the corner, the furthest one from the bed, and his arms were wrapped around him as if that’d do anything to stop the onslaught. He knew they would just force his limbs apart and restrain them like that until they were done, and it didn’t matter whether he cried and begged. Sometimes they even enjoyed it more when he did. Once he had been lifted up by his throat and told to beg for his life, and it made everyone laugh, because look at it, it wants this, it’s begging for it.
The door handle turned and Col could see Master’s face. His eyes scanned the room briefly before they landed on Col, tucked away in the corner of the room. “Col? What is it?”
. . .
Hey, Col. Vik is here, just so you know, but again, no pressure to come downstairs. He knew what he would say, the tone he’d say it in, so he could hopefully make Col feel secure. But it all fell apart when he laid eyes on the Pet, curled up and trembling on the far side of the room.
“Col?” he said. “What is it?”
“You promised,” Col sobbed, utterly betrayed. Linden’s heart broke. “You promised you wouldn’t- wouldn’t- wouldn’t do that…”
“I won’t,” he said, understanding immediately and wanting more than anything to go over to Col and pull him into a hug. But he couldn’t. He knew that.
“You said you wouldn’t let anyone else,” he whispered, looking up at him with bloodshot eyes.
Then- the moment of vulnerability passed. Not that Col looked any less vulnerable. He was still hunched, small and weak, programmed to do whatever it took to make Linden happy. But he caught his tongue, and the mask slipped back on.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You can do- do what you want to me. Of course. I’m not, I don’t mean to question you, Master, I’m sorry, I know my place, I’m good, I promise I’m good.”
“You are, you’re really good.” He put a hand over his heart and kept it there. “I’m not going to come in, Vik isn’t going to come in. Neither of us are going to hurt you. I promised, and I’m sticking to it.”
Col was still sobbing, but it was more uneven breaths than actual tears. He couldn’t have spoken even if he wanted to with the way his lungs were pulling the rug from underneath him.
“For now, I think you might feel safer if I just left you alone, so I’ll go back downstairs, okay? And I won’t disturb you again. You just make sure you feel better, that’s all that matters. Don’t worry, Col. You’re safe.”
-
Vikram didn’t say anything as Linden returned, but he did raise his eyebrows. Linden just nodded, keeping quiet until he was sat back down and, hopefully, out of earshot.
“Poor thing,” said Linden. “He thinks, well- he just sees everything as a threat. I don’t know if he’s ever had a positive experience with another person before. At least not in his memory. Did you…”
He trailed off and Vik simply nodded. All humour was gone from his face; he knew when to leave it out, and when it would help. “Yeah, I heard a bit of it. Heard him crying.”
“I don’t want you to take it personally-“ Linden started, but Vik had already swatted at him.
“Oh, stop it. As if I would. But I am- I am happy I’m here, even though I’m sorry it’s scared him. You need someone too, Linden. Like, shit, this is a full time job.”
“You sound weird, being nice to me” he smiled weakly. Vik grinned back at him, in complete earnest.
“Well then, we can talk about something else, if you want. Something I can confidently mock you for. Where’s Jaffa, too?” he twisted around in his chair, searching for her. His floofed-up hair, hairsprayed to excess, bobbed around on the top of his head as he went. “Where’s my little main attraction?”
Soon Vik had Jaffa on his lap where he was brushing her absent-mindedly, listening to Linden talk about the latest book he had read.
“You are a fuckin’ hermit, dude.”
“And?” Linden pulled his best bored-looking face.
“Well… actually, yeah, stay indoors. Forcing you to come drinking with me would be at the rest of the pub’s expense.”
“You’re a bastard,” Linden laughed. “It’s you they should be worrying about, with that boulder of hair on your head. Look at the state of it, it crunches when you touch it.”
“The ladies love it.”
“Yeah, ‘cause they know if they get locked out they can use it to smash a window.”
. . .
Above them, Col listened. He couldn’t make out the words, but both men seemed happy and upbeat, excited about the night ahead of them, excited about the pliant little bitch waiting upstairs.
Before that, though-
Colton had been openly defiant. He had begged for it to stop before it had even started. He hadn’t taken an ounce of pain, nothing had earned him the right to plead for mercy. He had not only been insubordinate, but he had done it while Master had a guest. That kind of embarrassment would not go unpunished. Master would not have his authority undermined by some common stray.
Col desperately needed to apologise. He knew he shouldn’t just wait for his punishment like usual this time. This time he needed to right the balance. He would prove that he knew his place, and show Master’s guest that his rule here was absolute. So with shaking hands, he slowly creaked open the door, and went downstairs.
The laughter died as he came into view, and even the feeling of their eyes settling over his body made his skin prickle. For a split second, his feet locked in place, but as usual his fear pushed them onwards. He kept his head down, his arms behind his back, his shoulders hunched. As soon as he reached Master’s feet, he knelt. Forehead to the floor. Hands to his sides, ready to be stomped on or grabbed. He was a slave. He was always open for his Master’s use. He did not answer back and he did not question.
“Col, are you, are you sure you want to be here?” Master asked from above. He was very sure. But yes, of course, it was no use Col thinking these kinds of affirmations in his head. He had to make them clear.
“I’m here to apologise, sir, for daring to answer back and embarrassing you. Your Pet knows that he is owned completely and it was c-completely wrong to question you. I had no right to ask for mercy, I don’t deserve any. I’m a mindless Pet with no free will and I exist to serve you. P-Please, accept th-this apology. It won’t- won’t happen again.”
He stammered, towards the end. He could only hope Master wouldn’t get angry about it.
. . .
Ironically, it was now that Linden was embarrassed. He glanced over at Vik, and as the two brothers made eye contact, it was as if they had exchanged a whole conversation.
You see, see what I mean? See how he is?
Yeah, dude. It’s fucked up.
I’m sorry.
Don’t be. You’re doing your best to help him. I’m not embarrassed if you’re not.
He gently reached down to Col and rested a palm on top of his head. He jerked in surprise, a weak gasp escaping his lips, but he otherwise stayed perfectly still.
“Okay, love. Thank you. I’m not angry, okay? My brother is here and he always puts me in a good mood.”
He shot another glance at Vik, mouthing this is how I make him understand. Vik nodded. He was looking at Col curiously. Linden wondered if this was how he had pictured him.
“You didn’t embarrass me. You’re fine. I’m not going to hurt you. Vik doesn’t want to hurt you either. Why don’t you go and sit on the balcony, and I’ll sit with you later, and pet your head? You’re not in trouble.”
As he retracted his hand Col’s head tilted upwards, chasing the warmth of the touch. He kept his eyes low, but whispered, “Thank you, sir, thank you, thank you for having mercy. It won’t happen again, I promise.”
“Okay, you’re okay. Let me help you up.”
It was technically an order, and Col obeyed silently, offering no resistance as Linden slipped a hand over his elbow and pulled him to his feet. He smiled at Col, but his face was blank and resigned. Beyond fear. He had done what he could, and his fate was in Linden’s hands once more. It hurt to know that. Linden could decide to leash Col at any moment, torture him with knives and burning oil and belts, and Col wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.
Linden steered him to the base of the stairs, and then gently encouraged him upwards, until he had drifted out of sight entirely.
The house was silent. He turned back to Vik, but neither had to say anything. Linden already knew that he understood.
-
first half of the taglist!
@newbornwhumperfly @whumpadump1939 @firewheeesky @whump-me-all-night-long @captainseconds @grizzlie70 @unicornscotty @lave-whump @princessofonward @cupcakes-and-pain @bumbumbea @whumpfigure @yet-another-heathen @secretwhumplair @whumps-up @as-a-matter-of-whump @getyourwhumphere @itzagoodthing @whumpymirages @soapparentlyilikewhumpnow @zipadeedooda-drabbles @penny-for-your-whump @briars7 @legallylibra @angel-stars @loyds-of-registry @tears-and-lilies @badluck990 @rosesareviolentlyread
@vickytokio @neuro-whump @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @whumpsy-daisies @control-whump @theydy-cringeworthy @starnight-whump @cursedandtired @jo-doe-seeking-inspo @justabitofwhump @glamrockgregory @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @genesissane @justbreakonme @addyez @httyd-chocolate
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redhoodieone · 3 years
Text
You’re so Lucky!
A/N: Hey y’all! Here’s another sexy story that was a request from the amazing @jasontoddslut! Enjoy my peeps!
Warnings: Language, Bad Relationship with Ex-Boyfriend, Smut, Voyeurism, and Jason’s Goddamn Dirty Mouth!!!!!
It was bound to happen. She couldn’t deny this was going to happen sooner rather than later. If she believed they that they could get through their issues and be happy like they once were, then she’s a real fucking idiot.
Gabi still couldn’t believe it though. One minute she was trying to calm Bobby down and the next, he’s screaming at her and telling her to get the fuck out of his apartment. He was in a bad mood to begin with. He’s a mechanic and he’s always tired when he gets home. He was expecting dinner to be ready and maybe have his loving girlfriend of three years rub his back since his shoulder pain is getting worse.
But no. Gabi made the mistake of asking Bobby where he was tonight as soon as he got home.
What set him off was her telling him to calm down. She should have known though.
You should NEVER. EVER. Tell an easily angry guy to calm down.
Because that’s like telling fire to not burn people. Or telling a baby to not cry.
She should have known better though. It’s no surprise Bobby’s into some serious shady shit that the low life Gothamites meet up sometimes at night in casinos or nightclubs. She knows they do illegal shit like selling drugs, ordering weapons from other countries, and maybe even kidnapping young women and children.
And Bobby had participated in the ordering weapons category.
How Gabi found out is another story: she knows for damn sure that Bobby once brought home fifteen state of the art total militia AK-47 guns. Bobby had foolishly asked Gabi to go get some important documents from his huge safe; totally forgetting the weapons were in there about five months prior.
Why would a normal mechanic need such weapons?
Gabi had decided to never bring it up. Bobby would either deny or lie about it. His temper had been getting worse right about then and she knew better.
But he wasn’t always like this. Oh, no. Bobby was a funny, laid back, and loving type who worshipped the ground Gabi walked on before they even started dating. But after two years of living with each other, things changed.
Simple as that. Things changed.
Gabi always wondered how things could just...change. So easily. The fact that it could happen in the blink of an eye frightens her sometimes.
Just like Bobby’s hidden anger. She never knew a hilarious and sweet guy could have the rage of a bull.
Bobby never hit her though. He always made sure to slam his fist against the wall beside her head, though. He was the type to yell and belittle Gabi as if she was a little girl.
But she wasn’t a little girl. She was a 23-year-old woman who moved in with her boyfriend so fast that she began to understand why her parents and friends disapproved of her choices and relationship.
I just had to learn the hard way, Gabi thought to herself.
She doesn’t know why she’s trying to think of sayings that relate to this experience. The point is, Gabi knows she seriously fucked. With Bobby only giving her ten minutes to pack whatever truly mattered to her, she had to hurry the fuck up.
The moment she made it outside the apartment building, all Gabi could do is replay her questions that she asked Bobby.
Where were you tonight?
Were you with someone?
What did you do?
Why can’t you tell me what you did?
Are you hiding something from me?
Are you getting into dangerous things?
No wonder Bobby kicked her out. Gabi should have never put her nose in his business. And now, she’s practically homeless. She knows it would be embarrassing as hell to go back to her parents’ house because of what they told her before getting involved with Bobby. She also knows her friends would treat her horribly, with the “I told you so” stares and lectures. Gabi was certainly running out of options just as the rain began to fall.
There was one person she could go to, who would never turn her away.
However, Gabi hasn’t spoken to this person in about a year because of her relationship with Bobby as well as this person’s own relationship with their significant other.
But Gabi knew Y/N was a good person, a good friend. She was a sweet person, with a big warm heart and she would never turn her away.
With nowhere else to go, Gabi walked alone in the rain all the way down to high class side of Gotham.
By the time Gabi gets to the high-class penthouses, she has to call Y/N to let her inside. Of course, Y/N excitedly tells her to come up, and Gabi immediately starts to feel somehow relieved that Y/N hasn’t changed at all.
As Gabi finally makes it to the correct floor, she sees Y/N waiting by the door, where Gabi assumes is where Y/N lives. Y/N is wearing a red and black flannel pajama pants and a thin black tank top. Gabi also notices Y/N’s barefoot, and her hair’s in a messy bun.
She must have just woken up. I’m so sorry, Y/N, Gabi thinks to herself.
But none of that matters when Y/N meets Gabi halfway in the hall where they collide in a tight, warm-hearted embrace.  Y/N smells like a woodsy, musky cologne, most likely from whoever she’s seeing with now. Maybe they were snuggling up against with each other until Gabi had called and asked if she could come over.
“Come inside. You must be freezing!” Y/N says, releasing Gabi from her hug and pulling her arm towards the front door.
Gabi follows on shaky legs, completely overwhelmed by seeing her longtime best friend. Y/N giggles and leads Gabi inside the penthouse. Gabi instantly is hit by the aroma of vanilla and musk, the smell of intimacy and seduction.  Her eyes take in the red and black walls and décor, some exquisite art pieces, and the big space that is more comfortable and warmer than most homes she’s ever seen.
“Welcome, mi casa es tu casa! Seriously Gabi, babe, make yourself at home. There’s absolutely no rush to leave. You leave when you’re ready, okay?” Y/N says seriously.
“Are you absolutely sure? I really don’t want to impose or put you and your boyfriend out,” Gabi confesses.
Y/N leads Gabi to the long, cherry red couch that is facing a huge flat screen TV. Gabi sets down her duffle bag and takes a seat next to Y/N on the couch.
“Don’t be ridiculous! Jay and I insist you stay here until you figure out what you want to do, okay?” Y/N says, before she turns around to get comfortable to face Gabi.
A vanilla candle is lit on the coffee table. Gabi’s cheeks flush in embarrassment. “I didn’t...interrupt something, did I?”
“Oh, no, you didn’t! I was just setting the mood in the living room to be more...comfy,” Y/N admits, with a chuckle. “Jason just got home a few minutes ago and is taking a shower. He should be done by now.”
As if on cue, they hear someone walking down the hall and towards the living room. He stops near the couch. There in all his glory, well half-naked glory, stands Jason Todd, God’s greatest creation of man...at least that’s what both girls were thinking.
“Gabi, this is Jason, my boyfriend,” Y/N proudly introduces Jason to Gabi. “Jay, this is Gabi, my best friend in the whole wide world.”
Still dripping wet and fresh out of the shower, Jason at least has a white towel wrapped around his waist; hiding his goods that Gabi wanted to see so desperately. He’s really tall, must be 6’2 or something close to that. She takes note that Jason is all man: there’s absolutely nothing that screams “boy”. Gabi inhales hard when she watches his large hand run through his soaked dark hair. The other hand holds the towel tightly around his hips.
“Hi,” Jason smirks at Gabi. She notices his eyes are green, almost like emeralds. He smiles at her, even his white teeth are perfect. “So, you’re Gabi. Y/N’s told me a lot about you.”
“She-she has?” Gabi chokes out. Why is it so hot in here? Why can’t she speak?
Her eyes zero in on the droplets of water running down his strong as fuck built chiseled chest and perfectly sculpted abs that she really wants to lick and bite his skin.
Holy fuck...
Gabi scolds herself for thinking such inappropriate thoughts about her best friend’s boyfriend. Even though Gabi’s never fantasized Bobby this kind of way, she realizes Y/N’s lucked out. Bobby wasn’t in shape or even remotely attractive like Jason.
“Of course, she has. You’re one of her best friends, and I’m happy to finally meet you. I would go over there to shake your hand and properly greet you, but I’m uh...not exactly dressed yet,” Jason chuckles, and almost seems shy now. “I’m gonna go get dressed real quick so we can talk.”
You don’t have to. You can stay the way you are. You can even drop the towel, Gabi thinks improperly.
Y/N smiles softly at Jason as they watch him leave. True to his word, Jason returned in a pair of black sweatpants and a white t-shirt and took a seat next to Y/N. Throughout their comfortable and pleasant conversation, Gabi truly sees the way Jason cares about her best friend. Midway through their talk about what happened to Bobby, Jason clearly was paying attention and rubbed caressed Y/N’s thigh when Gabi recounted the latest scary fight with Bobby. Whenever Y/N looked shocked or worried, Jason made sure to calm her down through touches, forehead kisses, and whispers words along the lines of love, probably.
It almost makes Gabi jealous. Y/N’s life is clearly so much better than what Gabi had going on for herself. Jason seems like the perfect gentleman; always does and says the right thing. Gabi’s never seen a man pay so much attention to a woman before. Not only did he offer Gabi his advice and opinions on getting a better and more affordable apartment on their street, but Jason even voiced his hatred for Bobby, and even went on to criticize the man for treating women so poorly. He even made a joke about finding the man and breaking his legs; making Gabi and Y/N laugh their asses off and making the energy around them fun again.
But for some reason, Gabi couldn’t help but notice that Jason wasn’t laughing as hard as she and Y/N were. It almost seemed like Jason was serious about breaking Bobby’s legs, but Jason wouldn’t do that. She was sure of it.
He wouldn’t, would he?
By the time midnight came, the three of them stood up and decided to go to bed. Jason even surprised Gabi by giving her a hug and telling her that she can stay in their guest bedroom for however long as she wants and needs.
“I’m serious, kid. Don’t even worry about it. You mean so much to Y/N, and so therefore, you mean a lot to me, too,” Jason had said as he pulled back from their hug.
Gabi was speechless to say the least. She didn’t want the hug to end. He felt so good in her arms and he smelled so fucking good.
But it was bedtime now, and once Y/N and Jason had shown Gabi the guest bedroom, they went off to bed to let Gabi get comfortable. It wasn’t long for Gabi to quickly clean herself up and put on some plain pajama shorts with a tank top. As soon as she turned off the light, she was amazed by how big and comfortable the bed was. She figured it must be new and is probably the first person to sleep in here. In just a few minutes, exhaustion took over and Gabi fell into a deep sleep.
Her throat was dry. That’s what awoke Gabi at two in the morning and made her climb out of bed and go search for a bottle of water. She made sure to tiptoe out of the room and walk slowly and quietly to the kitchen.
As soon as Gabi made it to the end of the hallway, she stops dead in her tracks when she hears moaning. A woman moaning.
Her mind registers that it’s Y/N moaning. But why is she moaning in the living room?
Curiosity forces Gabi to peek out into the living room and see what’s going on, despite the logical part in her mind is screaming at her to have some respect for her best friend and her boyfriend.
But being a pervert outweighs being a prude.
Gabi is utterly shocked to her core when she sees her best friend straddling Jason’s lap. On the red couch where they sat a couple of hours ago, Gabi sees Y/N and Jason making out heavily. She couldn’t unsee it; she wants to keep watching them.
Gabi even sees the vanilla candle is lit again, after Jason had blown it out before they all went to bed.
But all Gabi could see is Jason’s fingertips digging hard into Y/N’s exposed flesh from where her tank top is pushed up above her bare tits. Y/N shamelessly moans in between the evident delicious kisses, and grinds against Jason’s apparent bulge.
Gabi quickly notices an isolated leather recliner that’s against the wall near the hallway. She throws herself down, sinks into the chair and watches the practically live porno show in front of her.
Jason pulls back from the deep kiss, revealing his red, swollen lips from where Y/N’s been biting and sucking since the beginning. He rests his head back against the couch and looks up with hazy, lustful eyes as Y/N grins down at him. She bites her bottom lip and pulls up her tank top, removing her top completely from her body.  
“Fuck...what the hell are you doing to me, sweetheart?” Jason asks breathlessly. He runs his hands up Y/N’s back and moves them to her front where he reaches for both her tits.
“I’m slowly...and softly killing you,” Y/N says, closing her eyes and moans when Jason gently grabs both her tits in his hands; her breasts fill his hands perfectly.
“I’d say...” he says, before sighing contently when switches from pinching her nipples to squeezing her tits before he sits up straighter and pulls Y/N’s body closer to lick and suck her sensitive nipples.
“Oh, fuck...oh Jay...feels so good,” Y/N moans louder than before. She whimpers and continues to rub herself against him. “I need to cum...please make me cum, Jay...”
Jason pulls back from her chest and gazes into Y/N’s eyes. “You wanna cum, doll? Do you want me to make you cum?”
“Yes, please...I need you so bad!”
“No, I don’t think you need to cum,” Jason teases, before he pulls off his own t-shirt. “Now, I’m going to take off the rest of your clothes, but if you touch your pussy, I ain’t going to fuck you.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!” Y/N snaps. Her cheeks are flushed from being aroused.
Jason smirks at Y/N’s frustration.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about, sweetheart. I’m going to check how wet you are,” Jason explains, as he raises Y/N off his lap to pull down her pajama pants and panties; leaving her completely bare on his lap. “If you’re soaking wet, then I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you’ll be feeling me for days. But if I have to make you wet, then that means I get to do whatever I want to this pussy.”
“But-”
Jason runs his hand up Y/N’s thigh until his fingers glide over her bare pussy. His fingers gently push inside her, he can feel the wetness, but wants to see it for himself.
“Stand up and put your pussy in my face,” he demands.
“What?”
“I want to taste your delicious pussy right now. Don’t make me get up and literally put you on my shoulders to eat you out,” Jason threatens.
Y/N slowly moves to stand up carefully on the couch. Her legs are shaking, but Jason quickly grabs her to hold her steady. He doesn’t waste any time, and he dives into her pussy as if he’s a starving man.
“Oh fuck!” Y/N cries out.
Jason’s tongue on her clit is what she wants the most right now. He squeezes her thigh and flicks his tongue side to side until Y/N fears she’s either going to fall back or fall over him.
Y/N notices one of Jason’s pull up bars is above her. How convenient.
She grabs a hold of the bar to hold herself up just as he decides to slip a finger inside her. Holding herself up allows him to remove a hand from her thigh. He takes the opportunity to slip another finger inside and pumps them in and out fast.
Y/N’s body trembles when Jason curls his fingers and strokes the sensitive wall that he’s mastered so well. He can tell she’s close. She must have been excited earlier when they planned to stay in last minute. He manages to look up at her and he can see she’s barely holding on.
“You’re so close aren’t you, babe? You taste so fucking good that I want you to cum on my face. I want you to be my dirty girl tonight,” Jason says as he finger-fucks her harder and faster than before. “Are you going to be my dirty girl tonight?
“Yes! Fuck yes! Just-just make me cum, please!” Y/N cries out desperately, needing the push that Jason could only give her.
“You are my dirty girl. You love it when I make you cum with just my fingers and mouth. But I bet you want my cock right after, huh?” Jason asks, chuckling darkly when Y/N’s eyes roll back when he speeds up his fingers inside her. “You wanna ride me, don’t you?”
“Yes-yes I do...” she’s panting now.
“Okay, I want you to cum in my face and then quickly get on my lap and ride me. Fast, slow, hard, whatever, you pick. I just want to feel your warm, tight pussy around my dick, okay?” Jason says, quickly shoving his sweatpants and boxers down to his feet. “Fuck...give me your pretty, tasty pussy, sweetheart!”
And then Jason finally gives in. He pulls both her thighs to bring her pussy to his face. Y/N whimpers when he licks all around her wetness, and he hums in approval when he feels her hand stroking his scalp and pulling his hair, while she continues holding herself up with only one hand now.
The vibration from his humming helps her reach her release. He continues to thrust his fingers inside her and sucks her clit until she gushes in his face.
Y/N manages to silent most of her orgasm, but it didn’t help when Jason continued to lick and suck at her clit to swallow most of her juices. Once her body relaxes, she lets go of the pull up bar and drops down to the couch. Y/N quickly straddles Jason’s lap until her pussy is hovering above his hard cock.
“Spit on my cock, doll. Get it nice and wet,” Jason says, as he watches Y/N spit in her hand and stroke his thick cock until he’s nice and ready for her. “How are you going to ride me, sweetheart?”
Y/N slowly looks up into Jason’s dilated, misty eyes. “Deep. Hard. And fast,” she says.
Jason swallows hard but is able to quickly smirk up at Y/N before she takes full control. “Then ride me, sweetheart. Fuck yourself on my cock like the dirty girl you really are.”
Y/N finally lowers herself onto Jason’s cock, all logic and common sense flies out the window. Whenever his cock was deep inside her, they both tend to lose themselves and the world around them. Because whenever they were connected emotionally and physically in their bubble, nothing else fucking matters in the world.
When Jason fills her up completely, they both release a content sigh. They usually take their time in the beginning, mostly because of their fears whenever Jason leaves to work as Red Hood. But since they’re both so horny and want to cum sooner, they’ll have to just take their time during round two.
“Fuck me, sweetheart. Fuck yourself silly on my dick,” Jason moans, but he and Y/N laugh at the “silly” part, when he realizes that’s not very sexy.
But Y/N understands and slowly lifts herself up his lap until just the tip of Jason’s cock is inside her. She keeps a steady pace, lifting herself and lowering herself, until their rhythm flows. Within seconds, Jason helps her by holding her hips tightly and thrusting his hips in time with hers.
“Your cock is so big inside me, Jay. You fill me up so good,” Y/N moans and rides him a little faster; wanting the head of his cock to rub hard and relentlessly against her g-spot. She guides one of his hands off her waist to move towards her pussy, encouraging him to rub her clit. “I wanna cum again, Jay.”
“Yeah? You like ridin’ my big cock, you dirty girl? You want me to fill your pussy with my cum?” Jason asks, watching Y/N’s tits bounce while she rides his cock faster than before. He can’t help himself, he uses a free hand to pinch her nipple and leans in to bite and suck her breasts, until he puts his hand back to her hip to guide her thrusts. “You want me to fill you up with my cum?”
“Yes! Yes, please!” Y/N begs.
“Okay, my dirty girl. I’ll give you what you want.”
Well, Jason knows now that this is going to end fast, but he refuses to let it end without Y/N cumming hard again. He squeezes her hip with one hand and the other hand rubs her clit fast in messy circles. He begins to pull her down to meet his thrusts, fucking her harder and faster with everything he’s got. The squelching sound from his cock fucking up into her wet pussy becomes more noticeable, especially when their skin-on-skin slapping gets louder and harsher that echoes in the living room.
“Fuck...Y/N, you’re getting so tight. You feel so fucking good baby,” Jason pants hard, completely sweating and keeping his fast and erratic pace to get them to their releases. “Fuckin’ cum on my big cock, sweetheart. I wanna feel you cum so bad. Please cum for me, again.”
Y/N keeps her eyes on Jason just as her orgasm hits her hard; she squeezes and gushes around his cock, she calls out his name. Jason thrusts harder in her three more times, as he finally cums hard inside Y/N, calls out her name as quietly as he could. Y/N collapses against Jason’s chest, despite being hot and sweaty, but he doesn’t mind. He wraps both arms around her and holds her while they regain their breaths and can function normal again.
Y/N doesn’t see the loving smile Jason gives her as he kisses her forehead. “I love you,” he whispers, and hugs her tighter.
She looks up at him and smiles. “I love you, too.”
Before Y/N can lie her head against Jason’s chest again, she notices Gabi sitting and watching them. Y/N jumps up and covers her breasts with her arms, causing Jason to jump in panic and turn around to see what’s going on.
“Gabi! What-what the hell are you doing there?!” Y/N cries out in embarrassment. She can feel her cheeks are getting red again.
Gabi slowly gets up from the chair and makes her wave into the kitchen. She finds bottled water in the refrigerator, takes one, and goes back into the living room where Jason and Y/N are still frozen in fear.
“I-I was thirsty,” Gabi answers, even though she knows it sounds like a lame answer. She walks backwards until she reaches the hall. “And-and then I saw you guys, and then I couldn’t stop watching. I’m sorry, Y/N...Jason...”
But before Gabi leaves, she points a finger at Jason and smiles. She even chuckles. “But-but in my defense...he’s really sexy! He’s fucking gorgeous, Y/N, and you’re one lucky bitch! You’re so lucky!”
But Gabi is right about that.
Y/N is lucky...because she has Jason.
355 notes · View notes
dreamsoflevi · 3 years
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Love Was Not Enough | Part 1
Summary: A titan shifter is working in the Scout Regiment with a plan. Growing up with hate for Paradis takes a complete turn when falling for a certain Captain and developing friendships. Is it too late to make a change?
Word Count: 4.2k
CW: Some fluff, angst, mentions of violence, description of an emotional breakdown, stress.
Author’s Note: My first post on Tumblr! I’m so slow when it comes to using Tumblr lol. Starting off with an angsty story because it's raining and gloomy. It was supposed to be an one-shot but it ended up being super long. There will be 1-2 more parts. Hope you enjoy! ♡
You loved him.
You really did.
You still do.
When you first met him, you were surprised this was the person everyone was referring to when they would mention Humanity's strongest soldier, Captain Levi. His aloof and brash attitude would prove those thoughts drilled in your head about the devils in disguise living amongst the lands as you. He didn't care for anything and he wouldn’t hesitate to remind you of that. “You will become titan shit.” His exact words spat to your face. Who does he think he is?
You were exceptional at what you did, full of intellect and skills landed you on his squad along with a group of newer cadets. The 104th cadets. You were all replacements for his previous squad who were killed by the female titan, your comrade Annie during the 57th expedition. You were trained for this after all. You were prepared and you had a plan along with a few others. Secret glances, nods, and meetings were shared amongst you four any chance you could get.
You ended up befriending a few too. A shy yet wise Armin, an extremely passionate Eren, a wild and resourceful Sasha, and some others. A bunch of children putting their lives on the line for a better tomorrow, a hopeful future. Aren’t you doing the same too?
During expeditions, you would watch Captain Levi swinging through trees on his ODM gear, slicing through the napes of every titan he landed his eyes on. Now you understand why he is humanity’s strongest. Slicing through titans without a struggle and with immense strength and speed.
He'd frantically look around making sure the others were okay. He'd shout the names of his squad and any other names he could remember hoping to get a shout in return. The panicked look on this face when he would hear screams and race to the source of them. Maybe he does care. When returning to the walls, you could see him grimace watching the gates open only for it to quickly change back to his normal neutral expression.
-
“L/N!” A voice breaking your thoughts as you walk back inside the headquarters after training. You turn around to see Captain Levi standing behind you with a small stack of papers in his hand.
“Yes, Captain?” You wiped the sweat off your forehead with your sleeve.
“Are you doing anything after this?”
You shook your head. “No, sir. Do you need anything?”
“Yes. Deliver this paperwork to Commander Erwin. He should be in his office now.” He handed you the small stack of papers he was holding.
“Yes, sir.” You nodded your head grabbing the papers and walking in the direction of Commander Erwin’s office.
Approaching his office, you knocked on his door. You heard a deep voice respond and turned the knob to enter. Opening the door, you see the distressed Commander sitting at his desk. One hand resting on his forehead and the other scribbling away. He glances up and sees the stack in your hands.
“Ah, thank you (Y/N), I was waiting for these.” Raising his hand in anticipation of the papers.
You walked up to his desk handing it to him. “No problem, Commander.”
You look around his messy desk. Papers spread all around, empty teacups resting on the side, and two ink bottles sitting on his desk. Your eyes take a peek at his face, dark circles under his eyes, and his hair slightly messed up. You couldn’t help but feel bad for him. No. You try shaking those thoughts away. They are the devils and we are paying for their actions.
But you take another look at him. Imagine being in his position. Are you aware of what your ancestors did, Commander? He’s shuffling through the small stack of papers that were just handed to him. You can see the squares and circles in the form of a large triangle. The formations. The lives and the future of thousands rest upon this single man’s shoulders. Of course, he has to spend hours on end meticulously planning the expeditions and making sure the formations are properly formed. A plan for a better tomorrow, a hopeful future. Don’t you want that too?
You internally sigh in defeat. “Um... Commander?” You nervously play with your fingers.
“Yes, (Y/N)?” He looks up at you, hand still holding the quill and the other now resting on the desk.
“Do.. do you need help? I just finished training and If you need help, I…” You bite your lip, your nerves getting the best of you as his eyes remain in contact with yours.
The curves of his mouth turn upwards. “If you can, please.” He gestures to the seat in front of him.
You flash him a smile, nod your head and take a seat. He hands you a stack of papers. “For these, you just need to write today’s date under the line where it says date received. Then organize them alphabetically.”
That’s where you found yourself at least twice a week. Helping the commander out whenever you could, organizing his paperwork, and filling them out whenever he needed you to. Sometimes you would work in complete silence. The sounds of pens scribbling, paper shuffling, and the sips the Commander took of his tea. Sometimes he would tell you a little story about his life and of his childhood. He would speak of his father being a major inspiration in his life and the reason he pushes forward every day. He had a sudden death, though the Commander never told you why, you can imagine it was a traumatic one for him.
A couple of months pass by and you are now sitting in the Captain's office. Coming into Commander’s office one day and seeing his surprisingly organized desk for once and him telling you that he didn’t need any assistance today. However, Captain Levi might need help with the reports from a previous expedition. Nodding your head and giving a quick salute, you made your way to Captain Levi’s office.
Working with Captain Levi was soothing. His office was very neat. Paperwork in his office sitting on his desk in organized piles. You can smell the faint scent of lemon which was refreshing. You visiting his office became a more frequent occurrence since he appreciated the assistance he would receive though he’d never tell you that. He would have a stack ready for you set up on the side table in his office. He was not much of a talker like Commander Erwin nor was he someone who reminisces his life it seems.
However, you would still have conversations here and there. He would ask about how you were feeling with training and if you dared to complain about the exercises he was giving, he would simply tell you to get better with the exercises or get eaten. Then realizing his bluntness and the silence that filled the room after, he would elaborate on his statement.
What he means is, he would say, these exercises help with increasing stamina and balance that will aid us on the battlefield. Outside the walls, anything can happen. Titans pop out of nowhere catching you off guard and little mishaps like getting tangled, being too slow, or even aiming your anchor wrong can lead to a fatal mistake. You could agree with that.
“(L/n), why did you decide to join the scouts?” He asked without looking up from what he was doing.
You stilled for a second and looked up at him. His eyes were still on the paper in front of him. This question always catches you off guard even if you rehearsed it so many times. It makes you nervous and vulnerable as if the person asking can see right through you and your facade.
“Same reason as everyone else, sir.” He glanced at you now and you immediately looked back down at the paper in front of you. You tried to avoid as much eye contact as you can.
He cocked an eyebrow. “Which is?”
“F-freedom.. from the titans.” You heard a scoff.
“Now you sound like Eren.” He was still looking at you. You dared to meet your eyes with his. He still had a stoic look on his face but there was curiosity simmering in his eyes. He was waiting for an answer. You had no choice but to give one. How would you say it though? You don’t want to lie. Captain Levi can be very perceptive and you’re sure he could see through your facade.
You bit your lip. “I… I want a better future for myself, my loved ones, and future generations. All my life, I’ve experienced confinement and.. oppression. But I have been given the power- er, the opportunity I should say to aid in defeating our e-enemies and... and I hope to accomplish that to live a more liberating life.”
He remained in eye contact with you without saying anything. The silence was deafening in the room and you hoped he would say something. Each second of silence was building the temperature in your body as your nerves were starting to get the best of you. Your chest was burning and you could feel a bit of sweat forming on your scalp. Did you say the wrong thing? Or maybe you said too much? Why isn’t he saying anything?
Your lips parted in anticipation to say something. But what else were you going to say? Before you can process what you are going to say, he hummed and looked back down at his work.
“You are right. We all have the same reason, more or less. To break out of these confined and oppressive walls and defeat these shitty titans. Whatever is out there must be better than what we live in now.”
You internally sighed. It’s not better but hopefully, it will get better. I guess we have the same mission, just different targets. You and everyone else here being mine Captain. You felt your throat dry up. Can you imagine killing these people? Watching Captain struggling on his last breath? Commander Erwin? Hange? Connie, Sasha, Jean, Armin? But your ancestors... Now you are suffering because of these devils.
Shaking your head of these thoughts, you try to focus back on the paper in front of you. “Ar-” You cleared your throat. “Armin believes there’s a sea out there.”
He snorted. “That kid and his shitty dream...” You could see a hint of a smile forming on his face. “Who knows, maybe there is.”
You come to realize that he’s not rude, he just doesn’t know how to express himself. His actions speak louder than words and you can’t help but grow a lot of respect for him. But he’s still a devil. But he has a heart and he cares for every single person in this regiment, including you. It doesn’t matter. They caused your people pain and betrayed them.
-
A perk of being on Captain Levi’s squad is getting to sit on meetings planning the expeditions. Commander Erwin would call these meetings for input on observations made from previous missions. Armin enthusiastically shares what he learns from the missions. Plans are being formed around Eren and his abilities. He’s learning new things about what he can do every day and recently he learned about hardening abilities from Annie. Working with Hange to train how to harden properly to be able to plug walls in the future.
They have no idea though. No idea what is beyond these walls, where these titans come from, where do they go, or anything else. They are risking their lives for the answers, the answers that you already know.
Walking through the dark hallways, you step into the mess hall. There sitting on a table in the dimly lit corner were Reiner and Bertholdt. The ones on the mission with you alongside Annie.
“Where have you been lately?” Reiner asked as you sat down on the bench. You usually had these meetings at least once or twice a week, but since Annie was captured, things have gotten more hectic. In fear of getting caught or being busy with so many tasks, you haven’t had the chance to meet with them as often as you should.
“Sorry.. I’ve just been swamped with training, meetings, and helping the higher-ups with their paperwork.”
Reiner narrows his eyes at you. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with them lately.”
“Yeah but I’ve managed to learn a few things.”
“Like what?”
“Well, Eren is close to figuring out his hardening abilities. Hange had taken the sample from Annie but she didn’t get far with that. Now she and Eren are working together to see how Eren can unlock his own ability.”
Reiner hummed. “If Eren learns how to harden, he could start landing attacks on me. He’d still be no match for Bertholdt though.”
You nodded in response. There was an awkward silence. No one had much to say which was a huge difference from before when you had to plot your next moves and practice your stories together. Usually, Reiner was the one who would come up with the plans and assign tasks to the rest of you three. This was before the fight between Eren and Annie. You didn’t expect Annie to lock herself into the crystal.
You looked at Reiner who seemed to be deep in thought. “What are you thinking?”
He sighed. “I think another attack is coming soon.”
Bertholdt and your eyes widen. “Are you sure? Isn’t it a little too quick, Reiner?” Bertholdt wearily asks. You nod your head in agreement.
“They already have Annie. We need to get Eren and try to get Annie out of there as well.”
“Yes!” Bertholdt interjects. “We do need to save Annie.” Bertholdt always had a soft spot for Annie. You have an inkling he has a crush on her because he gets flustered and avoids the topic every time it’s brought up.
You don’t know if you’re ready for another attack. The last one was devastating. The fight between Eren and Annie destroyed so many homes and lost lives. Children losing their parents, parents losing their children, lovers lost… It is heartbreaking. You don’t know if you can stomach another attack at this point. What are you saying? That is what you’re here for. You need to do this for your people back home. You let out a long exhale and close your eyes.
“It bothers you too, doesn’t it?” You open your eyes to Bertholdt looking at you.
“They are people… just like us.”
You nod your head meekly. “Just like us.” You repeated in a whisper.
Reiner sighs. “And they have no clue what is happening.”
“No clue.” You and Bertholdt breathe simultaneously. You three sit in silence, all three of you lost in your own thoughts. Why did it have to be us?
-
During training you noticed Captain Levi limping a little more than usual. Since the 57th expedition, his leg has been in bad shape. He still supervises your training and some days, he can walk properly and some days he’s limping. You turn back to your task at hand, slicing through the titan dummies set up.
“(Y/n)! Straighten your back!” He yells from the field and you obey, straightening your back while you and Connie swing to the titan dummy.
“Oi Sasha! You have to aim your anchors a bit higher!”
“Mikasa, don't go too fast!”
The comments usually went like that for the entire training session. Watching all of you train and critique your performances. You’re not going to lie, it was a pain in the ass. But you noticed it does help you outside of the walls. Captain Levi is good at what he does. He’s perceptive and knows exactly what to do and when. He is a natural titan killer. Being able to take down small to abnormal and maybe even ones like you. After you were done, you all were panting and sweating while walking back to the field.
“Phew! That was some training today,” Connie wiped the sweat off of his forehead.
Jean clicked his tongue. “That was nothing! Probably too much for you right Yeager?” He smirked at Eren.
Eren rolled his eyes. “You wish, Jean boy. That’s why you’re drenched in sweat.”
“Am not!”
“Are too!”
You all groaned as Eren and Jean started arguing for the fifth time today. The first two times Armin tried to interject to try and diffuse the argument but at this point, even he gave up.
“You’re on Yeager. After dinner, we’ll have an arm wrestling match.”
“After dinner,” Eren confirmed. “Don’t horse around Kirstein.”
“Shut up titan freak.”
“Are you ladies done bickering?” Captain Levi glared at them with his arms crossed. Eren clicked his tongue and Jean muttered under his breath. Captain narrowed his eyes at them, a warning to fix their attitudes. They immediately straightened their backs.
“Yes sir!” A few of you silently giggled watching them get scolded by Captain Levi.
Watching them with a smile, you loved the banter between Eren and Jean. Despite the arguments, you know deep down they have respect and admiration for one another. It’s distinctly shown during battle when they are looking out for another. Even during Eren’s fits of rage, Jean is understanding and never attacks Eren for his impulsive decisions. He might get a little bit of teasing though.
They were very friendly with you too. Always giving you a pat on the back or a cheesy grin whenever they see you. Looking back at you when riding through the gates to make sure you’re okay or screaming your name to make sure you are fine when fighting titans. And let’s not forget Jean’s flirty nature. His love for Mikasa is strong but he can’t help it when he sees any walking and breathing female. Just kidding. He’s not that girl crazy.. maybe. It’s too soon to decide that.
I think another attack is coming soon. You heard Reiner’s voice suddenly appeared in your mind. You suddenly started feeling a bit nauseous. Another attack on these people. These people you are considering your friends. You felt the salty taste in the back of your throat. Trying to calm your nerves, you took some deep quiet breaths. It wasn’t helping. It was getting harder to swallow with your throat tightening. You silently walked back hoping no one starts a conversation with you. As soon as you get back, you were planning on taking a very, very cold shower.
Grabbing your clothes, you ran into the showers. Breathing hard and with shaking hands, you turned the shower knob. The cold water hitting you and startling you for the first few seconds. You can’t. You can. You can’t. You have to. But these people, you can’t do that to them now. Not when they are just started to grow on you. They were normal people with normal feelings. They’re not… devils? Yes, they are.
You remember the attack in Trost. The chaos that spread through the walls. These same cadets hopelessly try to fight the titans. You were all newly graduated. Thomas getting eaten by a titan. Screams and cries filled your ears along with the sounds of loud thumps and bone-crunching.
When you were discussing things with Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie, poor Marco being in the wrong place at the wrong time. How devastated Jean was losing his best friend and not knowing ultimately it was you three that led to his death. Not only his but everyone else’s. The way Armin looked when Eren sacrificed himself to save him.
Can you do this again?
A sob escaped from your throat. Tears flew down your cheeks getting mixed in with the water. You are no different than them, aren't you? The blood of these innocent lives on your hands. But they were the reason for all this, no? Except they don’t know. Is it justifiable blaming them for something that happened so many years ago? While you are oppressed by the Marleyeans, they are oppressed by these titans. Aren’t you any different from the Marleyans then? Punishing innocent people for things out of their control?
Leaning your head on the tiled wall, you needed to make a decision. Whose side are you on? No, whose side do you want to be on? Do you want to continue the same treatment you received? Do you want to be the reason a child loses their mother? Their father? You need to make a decision and make it quick. You grabbed the soap bar and cleaned yourself off. You will make a decision. You just need time.
After your shower, you remembered you were going to go to Captain Levi’s office to help him with his paperwork. You also remembered how he was limping badly today. Before going into his office, you decided to make a trip to the infirmary.
Asking the nurses for some balm for Captain Levi’s leg, you grabbed a small jar and made your way to his office. What’s the reason for this? Are you trying to relieve some of the guilt eating away at your conscience?
Entering his office, he offered a small greeting before pointing to the paperwork that needed to be done today. Before getting seated at the table, you walked over to his desk and held out the small jar. With an eyebrow raised, he looked at the jar in your hand.
“It’s for your leg. You were limping today and I thought this might help sir.”
He took the jar from your hand. The curves of his mouth turned upward, not enough to call it a smile since he hardly ever did. “Thank you.”
Thank you. You felt your heart flutter. You barely hear words of acknowledgment from him and you can’t help but feel happy that you were on the receiving end of them. So what? Why do you care? Because you do admire him. After all, he was your Captain and you respect him. And he is looking nicer than usual in his black suit and cravat. What? Are you okay? You’re just acknowledging his looks. It means nothing-
Wait, he said thank you. You need to answer him instead of disputing with your own self.
“It’s no problem.” You smiled at him and walked over to your seat and began working.
-
That is how things went for a while. You have been avoiding Reiner and Bertholdt any chance you can get because you were unsure of how to explain the inner turmoil you are having with yourself. You are close to walking away from it all, officially dedicating your heart to the Scouts, to Commander Erwin, to Paradis. You are willing to throw it away. Your family, friends, and everyone else back home. They don’t understand what you’re going through. The struggle you are facing. It’s easy to be on the other side of things but when having to see these losses head-on, it’s gut-wrenching.
You managed to get even closer to everyone. Sharing laughs and jokes with your squad during breakfast and dinner, working with Commander Erwin more closely and offering suggestions when he’s planning the formations, engaging in more conversations with Captain Levi, and even spending time in Hange’s office.
“Oh! Hello again (Y/n)! Guess what Eren is doing today!” Hange exclaimed while wrapping her arm around Eren’s neck. Eren holding onto her arm trying to relieve some pressure on his neck.
“What is he doing today?” You gave Eren a little smirk.
“Drinking a lot of water. We’re testing out his pee!” She shoved a large canteen into Eren’s chest.
“Pee? Wait, why?”
“Because Eren, we’re tested your blood but we haven’t received consistent results. So we are going to try your bladder. So drink up! We need at least a liter.”
“A liter?!” Eren squeaked.
Hange cackled. “A liter indeed!”
“(Y/n), do you want to help Eren out?” She flashed a grin at you.
“Sure,” you shrugged. “What do I have to do?”
“Just make sure he drinks this entire canteen of water. And if he doesn’t..” her smile dropped and she grimly looked at you, “Force him.”
Eren managed to drink the canteen of water and he also managed to give a liter of urine samples. Unfortunately, Eren had to run to the bathroom every half hour for the rest of the day. This resulted in a very irritated Captain Levi and a snickering Jean.
“What experiment did four eyes do on the shit head today?” He asked you when you walked into his office.
“She needed urine samples from Eren so she forced him to drink an entire canteen which is a gallon of water in one hour.” You grinned while grabbing your stack of papers.
He cringed. “Poor Eren.”
You snapped your neck to look at him in shock. “Did you just have sympathy for someone, Captain?”
“Oi, shut it. Don’t get mouthy with me.” He teasingly pointed a finger at you.
You snickered, taking your usual seat at the table. “I mean… It’s Hange. I always have sympathy for anyone who works with her. Look at poor Moblit.” He chuckled.
His chuckle rang through your head. He chuckled. You quickly caught your thoughts and felt heat rushing up to your cheeks for getting flustered about him chuckling. Why are you feeling like this?
“Captain, what’s the occasion? I don’t think anyone has ever heard you laugh.” You grinned at him.
“That wasn’t a laugh.” He immediately responded while scribbling on papers.
“Fine. A chuckle.” You rolled your eyes and began shuffling through the papers and organizing them.
“Well feel special I guess. You heard your captain chuckle.” He mockingly repeats the word in your tone.
Special. You smile. I do feel special.
102 notes · View notes
lilmajorshawty · 4 years
Note
I hope this isn’t to vulgar to ask but have you experienced men of every rising sign? More so would you be able to speak on the genitalia of all the eighth house signs in men you’ve encountered? I would like to see if there is any merit in the general depictions of the eighth house when it comes to sex organs
Haha you’re fine my love! I don’t mind being of help!
I personally attract virgo, Sagittarius, Gemini, Scorpio rising men the most. I have had sexual encounters with men of all 12 zodiac signs and I’ve managed to get rising signs for a great deal of them! Sadly I can’t speak broadly on many of the rising signs considering the higher volume of the four I just mentioned being the majority of the ones that come my way.
Aries rising men: in my experience? Sweet, they are very much what you see is what you get types considering their entire chart is a reflection of the natural traits of all 12 zodiac signs in their comfortable houses. Sexually I would say their sexual organs look dark, like literally they have a darker tone then the rest of their body. They aren’t rough sexually but they can be very intense, if I could describe them? I’d say it felt like I was swimming in a pool at night with strobe lights at the bottom. They know how to have sex and it feels good, they are very much so emotionally available during and after. Very violent orgasams and can seem very spiritual during.
Taurus rising men: in my experience? Babies. They can be needy and distant at the same time, very weird mix. They want things at a very specific time and can be hard to compromise with especially sexually. the thing that stood out to me is how fast they ejaculate, and I don’t mean this in a bad way, they are just very easily aroused much like a literal bull. They tend to love foreplay but if you’re too good at it they’ll cum fast. They can be very vibrant and bubbly during sex lots of laughter, but if they’re not laughing they’re usually just super into it lmao. They have very big and long sexual organs. I wouldn’t say thick, I would say more like a long sword in typical sag style. They are very out of tune emotionally during sex so that’s the only downside.
Gemini rising men: in my experience? Sad boys. They got issues and they’re not good at hiding them. They can seem moody, aloof and slightly misunderstood. I can’t peg them sometimes, they seem like they have a mixture of mommy and daddy issues but then they can seem arrogant and self assured at a moments notice. Domination kinks and restriction plague them. I would say the sex is often sensual and deeply attentive in its nature. They want to feel all of it and none of it at the same time. Touch and physical intimacy is the thing they adore the most in sex and I think that’s what makes them so special. They’re really sweet and good natured and you get to see that part of them more freely during sex as contrary to the belief of Capricorn in the 8th these natives are tremendously affectionate and loving during sex. I will say that they get sad or more serious after climax and I have no idea wether Saturn does that or if it’s something deeper. They may be a bit on the smaller side when it comes to sexual organs in most cases but they know how to use it for sure. They are very horny like the goat
Cancer rising men: in my experience? I’ve dealt with some who have cap and others who have aqua in the 8th, for some reason the result is still similar in a way. They can be soooo receptive, they know what you need better than you do. They are present but not overbearing. They feel parental but in a way that feeds the parts of you that felt like they were missing something. I’d say sex always comes with a lesson with them. It’s never just casual sex. They tend to nurture during sex and can be very emotionally deep and connective during. They are definitely the type you spend the night with naturally or hang out with the next few days or unexpectedly end up dating. The sexual organs are usually pretty unique! Some curve, some have like those cute beauty marks on em. They also tend to be well hung.
Leo rising men: in my experience? I found them to be distant, perplexing and heavy. They seem a bit disengaged but can have moments of affectionate behavior and romantic burst that come from nowhere. Sexually though they can be passive, they feel real wet and liquidy I dunno how to describe it. Sex with them just feels very moist and like there’s a lot of fluids everywhere but idk it doesn’t feel like a bad thing. They precum a lot and can be very submissive. They are not horny per say? They are more on the “if you wanna” side of things. So Neptune and Jupiter rule Pisces so as you can already imagine these men tend to be packing some heat. They sorta dunno how to use it though? For some reason they have a very clumsy way of having sex as if they’ve never done it before? They don’t really have boundaries either so you’ll need to make sure to ask them if they’re okay cause a lot of the time they might not be.
Virgo rising men: in my experience? I’m gonna try and not be biased. These men are very ethereal. They are very quiet and genuine. They have this very honest and blunt way about doing and saying things. They carry a lot of pain though and you can see it in their eyes which I will say they have very intense eyes. Sexually? They are VERY passionate. They treat sex like a sport but not a fun sport, rather they treat it like a life or death ring match. They definitely pack a punch and will rock your shit. They can be deeply sensitive and intimate all the while being completely in tune with every part of you during sex in such a way that’ll make you feel like you’re freefalling. The genitals in my experience are veiny, very masculine in the way they look. Every time I see a guy with a Virgo rising it never ceases to amaze me how rough and aggressive their penis are. They are also very intense ejaculators and can be very big on equal ejaculation(my pleasure is your pleasure theme) contrary to the Aries myth, they can go and go and go for hours without cumming so as a warning please try and build your stamina
Libra rising men: in my experience? Confused? They can seem like they’re waiting for something to start but also won’t do anything to make something start. They can seem aggressive but are secretly hoping you make the first move. They are very touchy and very adorable in their being but they definitely can be the types to let the other person take the lead. One thing I’ve always liked about libra rising men is their cute butts and their charming way of seducing you without oversexualizing the situation. Sexually they are AMAZING Jesus. Once you get them going they will really run rampant. They are very sensual and they love slow touching and intimacy. They are emotionally present and can have a personality change during sex, they turn into a whole other Individual. A warning I will say is that they get very caught up in the moment and you’ll have to snap them out of it from time to time if they’re to caught up in the pleasure. They’re sexual organs like most fixed signs is pretty thick and heavy. In my experience the length is normal but the girth is what will really kill yah.
Scorpio rising men: in my experience? Fuck these guys are HOT. They don’t have to try very hard either which is annoying, they literally just exude this strong, mysterious and emotionally unavailable energy that makes you want to strip right in front of them. Are they into you? Do they care? Are you more into it then them? Who knows and they probably won’t tell you. They can be very manipulative and tend to gaslight(and I’m not joking about this nor am I jokingly using the term) they tend to have mental detachments from their emotions which can give them sociopath like tendecies. Sexually they are curious, very control oriented. They want to watch you go crazy so most times they leave you in charge. Riding is one of their favorite positions because they get to see you fein for them. They are senstive to your feelings during sex but don’t mistake this for them being emotionally invested in you, the Gemini in their 8th house is playing whatever role gets you to respond in the way they desire. They are very loving nonetheless when they do truly care for you. The sexual organs are usually very thick. I think they’re the ones who invented the word chode. The penis tends to be girthy and also has a pretty good length to it, and they definitely know how to work it.
Sagittarius rising men: in my experience? These guys are some fucking heartthrobs! I hate to say it but man they are so rugged and masculine you can’t help but love their boyish nature. They are definitely obnoxious, loud and ridiculously dense when it comes to reading the room. What makes them so hot though is how reckless they are with all things. They don’t give a shit. Sexually though? Emotions run HIGH they tend to be very drawn to feminine energy. A lot of guys like this adore feminity in all forms be it in men or women. If you have that feminine glow to you, they’ll eat you up. They tend to have a strong desire to impregnate and the idea of being connected and having that sort of emotional receptivity with the person their fucking drives them wild. They are very intense sexually and can be very overwhelming the first few times mainly because adjusting to them is impossible, you never know what emotional spectrum you’ll get. Their sexual organs aren’t that big, sometimes they can be girthy but most times long and or average size tends to be what I see more. Are they good at using it? Yeah, you’ll fall asleep right after trust me.
Capricorn rising men: in my experience? They are very unassuming. They are so fucking calm, so fucking unmoved and so fucking ahead of you every time. They don’t rush things and can really make you feel so comfortable with how respectful and real they are. They have a very boy next door or upstairs neighbor vibe to them. Sleeping with them feels naughty sometimes other times it feels like it was a long build up. Sexually they are exhibitionist. They definitely will fill the hell out of you with their more modest persona at first. They want to enjoy all parts of your body but they also want the show to be about them. They want to hear you want them, how good they make you feel, they want it to feel like a performance where the crowd is watching. And dare I say they are constantly mastering their art, sex gets better and better and better with them. There’s never a dull moment and every time they have sex with you it gets more personal, more intense, more all consuming. They have a high libido and they are practically insatiable. They are selfish but I will say this, if you can’t get them off they definitely will do it themselves. Their sexual organs are often brighter than the other parts of their body. Very pretty too look at and also a bit on the hairy side.
Aquarius rising men: In my experience? They can seem really standoffish and for a good reason. They tend not to like ignorance and the more they see you trying hard to relate to them the less they’ll acknowledge you. They like the idea of someone who is down for them but not the idea of someone who is groveling, don’t and I mean don’t by any means act like a fan. They tend to run hot and cold for ever even if they like you. Sexually they can be meticulously planning the whole thing. The meet up, the positions, the foreplay all of it. They tend to need warnining or to know both parties had time to clean up. They’re not ones for sex on the fly or random sex as it can lead to a lot of unnecessary accidents. They’re attentive and very much the types to make you feel like you’re clay and you’re being sculpted into something magnificent. Their amazing at sex, they are like gallileo, or Mozart when it comes to the act. They move around your body like a serpent, then a leaf in the wind, than rain touching your skin. They are more focused on your pleasure than theirs so orgasms/reaching climax can be tough for them. The sexual organs are pretty small or average in most cases. If mars/Jupiter or Neptune/Uranus is there that augments things.
Pisces rising men: In my experience? They are definitely ass men. Everything revolves around booty. They are definitely soft and very sweet, but they have a sweetness to them that is fake. The real them is far more serious and self aware then they give off. They know what they’re doing and they know what you’re doing, so don’t ever be fooled by the veil they put up. They’re incredible receptive and sensitive and a lot of their internal feelings come out at some point just not at the moment it needs to. Sexually they can very hotel sex types. Like I don’t know how to really explain it and it’s so opposite of what you would expect of libra but they are very impersonal people. Like sex can feel very romantic and as if they are treating you like a significant other but something about it is detached, far away and unavailable. They are good at creating the engagement aspect of sex but can fall short at the emotional part which is semi-strange considering what you’ll get up to that point. They are very experienced but at the same time they may need to be taught to connect a little deeper or to open up more. They have very soft and gentle sexual styles that will still make you feel cared for but sometimes in the back of it all you’ll still feel that “I’m fucking a stranger” vibe. Their sexual organs tend to be very beautiful, nice length and nice width. They’ll definitely be a lot better at the sex part once you guys are committed though.
So obviously this is a general word of mouth and does not take into account planets being in the 8th house nor does it mention decans which can greatly alter much of what I’ve said. And honestly you can apply the decan rule here if you’d like! Simply use the decan lord so if they’re a third decan Virgo rising and have Aries in the third decan in their 8th house which is Aries/Sagittarius: you would mix those interpretations. Anyways hope this helps love.
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sparkbeast20 · 3 years
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You’re my Treasure (Mammon X MC) Pt11
The Blue Lotus petals (series)
As a fan of Beauty X Beast pairing, Showing your “true self” to Lover or (Monster Love) Tropes. I figure to make a (More Demonic Forms AU/head canon) story for each brothers. Heads up each brother’s Story is long as fuck. So, I’ll be posting them as parts and finishing one brother before moving on to the rest of them.
(spoiler for lesson 1-60)
Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 Pt4 Pt5 Pt6 Pt7 Pt8 Pt9 Pt10
Warning: Swearing, Demonic nature, Mention of blood, Past events, Unwanted hate towards a family member, and Attempted murder.
Note: I am really bad at warning.
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Previously
The sound of coins being step on quietly filled the cavern, as someone pick up the old book on the ground and return back to sleep.
“So, you don’t want to control my body?” Mammon asks the beast reflected in the lake.
No....I have seen how your brothers treated you, and frankly I think you should fight back!
Mammon pouts at him, not likely the way his saying this.
“Hey! They might be a pain in the ass, but that all family are. Sure, we are at each other’s throats, but we have each others back when we need the most.” The beast huffs at that.
Name one time, you all agree to do something!
“The reaper’s cave”
Hm?
“We might not say it out loud, but we truly wanted to help Beel in anyway possible. Hell, it was a miracle that y/n was there. If was for them giving some of their candle to Beel, we would have made it a regular thing to go back to that cave for Beel.” He starts playing around with his ring, to distract himself from missing his brothers.
It seems that the human choice you out of your brothers why is that?
“y/n is not just a human! And why would you care if y/n choose me?”
I don’t know Mammon, why least you been repeating it in your head over and over causing me to wake up!
Suddenly Mammon felt a lump in his throat, he wants to respond but hesitant for a moment, then he spat it out.
“I haven’t done any of that”
Really? Let me refresh your memories
The last part the beast voice changes into his voice as he starts talking into it.
“I failed as protector and a guardian!” “They deserve better than me!” “Why they have to choose me to love” “Why settle with a weak and pathetic demon like me” “I SHOULDN’T BE SECOND OF THE AVATARS!?!”
Half way of the beast speech Mammon covered his ears, shut his eyes, and grinned his teeth with a snarl coming out of him. But he just keeps repeating his thoughts over his mind. Until Mammon scream.
“OKAY I GET IT!” he drops down it all fours as pant like he was exhausted. “I-I can’t be the demon they all want me to be”
Because you keep letting them to fill your mind with those thoughts, but what you should be doing is SHOW THEM!
Mammon looks back to the lake and asks “What do you mean?”
Kill The demon who attack our mate
“I can’t do that; the bastard knows and what I can do. Even if want to kill him, he’ll just move one location to the other”
Not unless you change into me…...
“I can’t…...” Mammon clenches his hands, digging his talons into his palms drawing blood as his body to tremble in the thought of changing back to that form the memories flood back in his mind, all the fights, the wounds which heals but the mental scars remain, and watching Levi and Asmo change right Infront of him. Their scream of agony rings in his ear as tears and blood drip down in to the ground as he starts to sob.
Are you scare after killing Basto, you’ll go and killing your brother while they’re in those forms?
Mammon quickly nods while his looking down at his bleeding hands.
You don’t have to worry about that
The beast spoke with a softer tone causing Mammon to look back at the lake.
“Wh?”
Look you and I are the same being, when I tell you that all you have to do is stay away from them for a week or two, to have better control over yourself and your instinct you might be the first one out of the seven of you to able to turn into your demonic form without the resist of killing your brothers.
Mammon is done founded about the beast just said.
“How are you sure that I can do that?”
Simple you and Asmo are the only ones that didn’t attack y/n when you get angry and threaten them. And you are the only one who never use violence against them by changing into your demon form. You might be a hothead but you never or will raise a hand to your brothers or to our mate.
Mammon is left speechless, the thing that he been scare of knows him well to the point of trusting him for being himself. He was right as much he hates being the first one to be targeting with name calling because of his sin, is not like his the only one, Asmo calling him a horn dog, Levi with his weird obsession with things and getting emotional, Beel with eating all the time, Belphie with out of nowhere naps and sleeps, Satan with his anger issues, and Lucifer being too proud for his own good.
Their demons now, is something they should be use to. But him have the most control out of the seven of them, makes him fill warm inside. That he should be proud of, and why he should let his brothers tell him that he has no self-control when anger.
But his sin oh yeah! He can’t argue with that, I mean he was willing to help Solomon to forge a pact with Lucifer for the Midas crest, and immediately takes all back when Asmo points out that once he gets the crest, he won’t able to touch you due to the crest make everything he touch turns into gold. It had to take Asmo to point it out, who just said it to openly admit that it will be less competition for him. To realize that he could have made one of his biggest mistakes of his life, for what gold!
Looking back at his hands and/or talons then his wings, looks back at his newly grown tail. It too late, he’s far along of the transformation as he his. If he agrees with the beast’s plan, its going to take some time, means that you need to go back.
“Hey, before I agree to yer plan, let me take y/n back to my brothers”
Mammon…. their better with us then back with your brothers
“Yer crazy!?! What if I kill them!”
MAMMON The last thing we want is our MATE DYING. AGAIN! I’m still a little mad at Sloth for what he did! He’s luckily that y/n forgave him, because if they didn’t rest assure, I would’ve wakened up that day!
Mammon flinch and snarl at just remember that day. Holding your past self in his arms as you choke on your blood causing Belphie. If he’s being honest with himself, sometimes he gets piss off whenever Belphie took a nap at your lap and asks pat his head like, he didn’t try to kill you long ago.
That reflex he just did, get angry when you get hurt or someone trying to hurt you. Maybe his beast does have a point.
“Okay, I’ll do it……I’ll-I’ll change, IF!! You make sure that y/n safety is my-our one goal! Go it!”
Even with a beak the beast smirk at Mammon
You have my word…… also you might feel A LOT of pain!
“Huh?...... Wh?”
Before Mammon can say anything else, he felt a pain in his abdomen, he wants to scream but he bites his lips muffling the scream. As he dug his talons into the ground dragging his hands closer to him. Then the pain slowly got worst by each heart beat and panting.
Soon the he couldn’t take it anymore and let out an agnosies scream.
Then a faith voice calls out to him.
“……Mammon…...”
“Mammon!”
Mammon wakes up from the dream by someone grooming his tail, he slowly opens his eyes and lifted up his head and let out a wake-up yawn. And turn his head to whoever is touching his tail.
His eyes narrows and he groans at the sight who it was.
“Morning Mammon, have a good night sleep” Asmo flash he cheerful smile as he fixes the feathers of his tail. “When is the last time you check your tail feathers, look at them some of them are uneven and others stuck together see….” He points at feathers with the vane split apart with dry blood.
“Oi! I didn’t have a chance to clean myself and beside y/n usually brushes and cleans my feathers so, back off” Mammon squawks at Asmo who just giggle at him.
Right, no one can hear him, well no one expect Lucifer who is close to what he is now. He just has to have you use gestures and his eyes to convey what he’s thinking.
“What a pain in the ass, ya all don’t listen to me when I was normal. Now I have to deal with this crap!?! Tch whatever, the herd must be at the lake at this time. Might as well get some food……. Oh shit! Beel’s here…. Great……”
“I know that you’re not a morning demon, so I know that your cranky. But maybe not try to be loud so you won’t wake up y/n” that snap Mammon out of his train of thought.
Surprise to what Asmo said, Mammon looked down in his arms to see your sleeping form curled up next to his chest as you nuzzle your cheek into in with a smile on your face.
He faces softens as gently rub your face with his, as a soothing cooing and purring comes off from him, causing you to let out a satisfying hum as you fall more asleep.
Then Mammon reaches out with beak for a thick fabric from the nest. Then he slowly and gently lay you on the nest and place the fabric under your head serving as a pillow as you continue to sleep.
Then he stood up leave the nest as Asmo let go of his tail and gazing at his brother’s action. Once out of the nest Mammon stretches bending down then stand back straight shake body ruffle his feathers and once finish the feathers fixes themselves as Mammon being his daily routine beginning with leaving the cave. And Asmo got up and follow his big brother.
“I-I don’t believe it. There’s no SIGNAL HERE!!!” Levi is basically reaching for the havens on top of the tree trying to get a signal for his D.D.D, but to no avail.
“Levi! Get down from there” Lucifer yells at Levi causing to flinch almost letting of the branch he was holding to keep himself balance.
From afar Satan and Belphie watches the two older brothers, with Beel who is cook breakfast inside the cave.
“Its just me or is Lucifer losing~”
“His cool? Yes, I’m all for it” Satan is gleefully smile at the sight of Lucifer completely abandoning all of his calmed and serious demeanor, for an anger, short tempered and animalistic one.
Then suddenly they heard talons being drag through rock behind them, they turn around to see Mammon walking out from the cavern and heading outside with Asmo not far behind him.
“Mammon, your awake you got to see this Lucifer is blowing a casket at Levi~” Mammon just keep on walking out ignoring Satan.
“Wait where you going? Breakfast is about to start” Beel got up from he sits next to the campfire and chase after Mammon.
Once outside, flap his wings and start flying, grabbing the attention of Lucifer and Levi.
“MAMMON!?!” Lucifer calls out to him, as he flew after him grabbing Levi’s arm towing along.
As Levi scream for help fade, Satan look at Asmo with a questionable look on his face.
“What did you do”
“Hey! Don’t look at me like that. I was just cleaning the feathers in his tail; I mean you saw him covered in blood of that bastard. You would have done the same thing” Asmo huffs and walk back inside.
“Oh, before you go, Lucifer was looking for the book that he used. Have you seen it?” but Asmo shook his head, not even looking at Satan as he went in to Help Beel with breakfast.
“Clearly one of us is lying about the book” Belphie said it looking at Satan.
“Obviously, but the question is who is lying”
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heshoes · 3 years
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Uni Daze
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She was his best friend and they shared everything together already anyway. What difference would it make if it were a hat, shampoo, or the same bed sometimes? So what? That's what the Uni Daze were about, having fun, traditions, getting serious, new relationships, friendships, heart ache, break-ups, make ups, secrets, the occasional/casual bajingo here and there, and possibly, just maybe, finding the love of your life and hoping that it all works out.
Warnings: Slow burn, smut, angst, mentions of abortion, mentions of verbal abuse
Pairing: Harry Styles x OFC ( face claim Zendaya)
Uni Daze Masterlist
Chapter 4 (word count 11.2k)
Harry
Usually a busy day keeps me grounded and out of any possible trouble that Michelle could help get me into, but today was different. It seems like whenever there was something toolook forward to, the day seems to drag and the minute and second hands on the clock move at a non existent pace. Any other day I would almost dread going to work the front desk in the first year halls though I know it had to be done. Today, however, I looked at it as four hours that I could use to talk to Rion.
There was a two hour gap in my time frame today due to a professor sending out a bullshit email telling us the reasons as to why his class was cancelled. He was one of the youngest professors at the university with a track record of hanging out with his student's. But what he did behind the closed doors with Lumen, the girl who lived down the hall from Michelle and I was none of my business.
After I'd taken the spare time to shower, change clothes, and read a chapter and a half ahead in my anatomy text I found myself antsy and ready to go to work, much to Michelle's amusement.
"Just sit down. You have twenty minutes left yet. Did you not have some kind of I'm an important person meeting that you could have went to? Or any equations that you could crack in hopes to surpass both Galileo and Einstein combined? Over achiever."
"Michelle, your grade mark average has been higher than mine since birth and I'm older than you."
“True. But I just don't put as much effort into it as you do."
"That's what makes it all the more annoying. No, I don't have any meetings lined up for senior class. You could be a part of it you know. All you have to do is come to a meeting."
"I'll pass on that. Thanks."
"It looks good on job applications."
"And so does First Class Honors at an Ivy League Uni." Michelle spoke, paying little attention to me as she smiled down at her phone. Ten minutes had passed before I stood from the couch, drawing Michelle's attention again. She smirked at me while shaking her head.
"I'm gonna walk. It's a nice night out, plus if I work a little earlier I get paid more and that doesn't hurt."
"No, I'm sure it doesn't. Especially if you're not really in it for the money in the first place, Hershey. Ask her out today, yeah?"
"I just enjoy talking to her. I don't want to ask her out. It's too soon. It's cliche."
"Says the man who was turned down once and then gave up completely. You don't have to date her Harrow, but stop lying to yourself. It gets you nowhere fast. Ask her to the party."
****
The walk to the first year halls was quicker than I expected. I wasn't sure if it was due to the distraction of the scenery change or my pace, but a fifteen minute stroll was cut down to one that only took ten. When I walked into the double doors I saw her again, seated at the front desk with her eyes focused on the pages of her book taking in each word with a lazy grin on her face.
“Hi Rion. How are you?" I asked somewhat loud, causing her to jump. "Sorry didn't mean to scare you."
“No, it’s fine. I didn't see you walking up. I should pay better attention sitting here. Sometimes I just get so engrossed in the words that I forget what's going on around me. How are you this evening?"
I grinned at her before running a hand through my hair and taking the hair tie that I'd stolen from Michelle off of my wrist before pulling it halfway up.
"I'm alright, but I think I asked you a question first.” Rion looked down at her half way finished novel that she had barely scratched the surface of on Monday and then smiled up at me as I made my way around the desk, taking the seat next to hers.
"I'm doing quite well actually. I have no real complaints." Her face dropped.
"That face that you're making is telling me that the last thing that you said was a lie. Clearly."
"Well..."
"Go on. Say it." I grinned while pushing my chair back and resting my feet on the shelf of the desk in front of us.
"My flatmate."
"Yeah?"
"She had company last night.” Rion's voice lowered to a whisper and her cheeks twinged the lightest shade of pink.
"And?"
"And they were very...loud. I didn't get much sleep and every time I had time between classes and I went back to my dorm to take a nap I would always oversleep. I could swear I was late to almost every class today, but my professors were kind of understanding. They all cut me a break because I'm new." Rion rested her head in her hands before she began to shake it back and forth. "I mean I don't want to be that girl who switches dorm flats because their flatmate makes them uncomfortable. She's a really nice girl you know?"
"Uh-huh." I chuckled. I didn't mean to laugh at her misfortune and bad day, but she looked so distressed while explaining it all. No wonder she was rushing about today.
"But I can't risk being late to class, or miss classes because her and her girlfriend insist on having loud goes at each other. My parents had to pay so much for tuition here and I'm working at least three jobs to pay the loans I've taken out myself."
"Yeah that's-Wait what did you say?"
"I said I'm working three jobs to pay off loans and my parents for school and-"
"Wait, no. Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off, but what did you say before that?"
"My flatmate and her girlfriend have loud goes at each other."
"Your flatmate is a girl?"
"Yes." Rion tilted her head, looking at me as if I'd lost it. When you live on campus, the dorms are usually co-ed, but the actual rooms aren't.
"And you said she had a girlfriend?" It wouldn't be her. It can't be.
"Yes she's a les-"
"Lesbian."
"Yeah. And it's not that, that makes me uncomfortable. I believe love is love no matter who you find it with. It's just that they were so loud and I think sex is a very private and sacred thing… And I mean it was so disrespectful because Alison knows that I have to be up so early for my first class on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday but she was— they were both...and then there was this buzzing sound. I think toys were involved."
I laughed out loud. I couldn't help it. The mix of the story, the situation, and the toys made it too good to be true. Rion pouted, but I could still see a trace of a smile on her lips.
“Sorry. It's not funny. You were just making a funny face. Did you say your flatmate's name was Alison?"
"Yeah. Do you know her?"
"No." It's really not a lie. I don't know her.
"Oh. She's a really sweet girl, but I need sleep."
"You do. Three jobs is a lot to juggle. It makes me feel like I'm not doing enough."
"You do though. You work, you have more classes than I do, and you're president of senior class. We both are tackling a lot…But, I can't help but feel like something is missing from the equation for the both of us. I just can't quite put my finger on it."
“Yeah, me either. Do you know Alison's girlfriend. Have you seen her?" I don't know why I'm hoping that there's a chance that this Alison is playing the same game that Michelle is or that it's a completely different girl.
"No. I'm sure that she said it at some point last night, but I put my earphones in to try and muffle the sound as much as possible." Rion sighed as she turned around to face the desk again, looking back down at her book.
"It kind of sounds like you need an escape." I say, hoping that she would turn back around to face me.
“It's only the start of the year. Usually I'd be fine, but I'm already tired. Cambridge comes with a price, but I'm more than willing to pay it. A get away sounds good."
"Well, there's this party on Saturday that practically the whole school contributes in. I've even seen some professors there, the younger ones at least."
"Really? At a school like this?"
"Rion, Cambridge may seem mysterious, with all of its prestige, low acceptance rates, and student's who attend with big brains, but it’s a university first. Parties exist here and because we're not supposed to be considered a school known for parties, they exist a little bit more than your regular university. We just keep it a secret. You should come."
"I'm not really that much of a partier. The last one I went to was after I finished all of my GCSE. I was talking to this boy that I liked and I'd never really drank that much, but I was with my friends and peer pressure and all... It just didn't end well."
"Let me guess. You threw up on him?"
"No... I— I can't! I can't tell you it was so embarrassing!" Rion laughed covering her mouth before she stood up to help a first year out. I swear its only Wednesday and more than a fourth of the first years who live in this building have already lost their keys. I'm sure that after the party on Saturday and the excessive drinking that's going to take place there's going to be a line outside the door for key replacements.
Chelle: I'm so bored so I'm gonna clean the apartment. Starting in the living space, then your room, then mine. Anything that might stick to my fingers if I touch it this time? 😜😷
To Chelle: Don't clean my room! It's already clean! And please don't tell me you touched anything in my bin?😨😳
Chelle: I haven't, but I assume the worst. And I may or may not have changed your name in my phone to Mr. Tissue. I will never let you live that down.
To Chelle: Call one of your bitches and leave my shit alone, pimp daddy. I'm buying a lock for my door.🔒
Chelle: 😼Bitches? What good will a lock do when I'll have the spare? 🔐👀
To Chelle: We'll discuss this when I get home. I’m Busy.  🗣DO NOT TOUCH MY SHIT!
"You alright?" Rion asked pulling me out of my text war with Mitchell.
"Oh, yeah. Just texting my flat mate."
"Mitch, right?"
"Yeah," I snickered, shaking my head while thinking about the well being of my things, "So are you going to tell me what happened when you were at this party years and years ago talking to the boy you liked?"
"Ugh, no I can't. I absolutely can't embarrass myself that much again. It would be like reliving it."
"I'll tell you one of mine. My most embarrassing, but you've got to tell me yours first.” Rion hid her head in her hands peeking out at me between her fingers and laughing.
"Fine. But please don't judge me. It was my first time being drunk. Promise?"
"I promise that I might not be able to not laugh and I won't judge you but tease you for it later."Rion squinted her eyes at me processing what I said before she turned around facing away from me in her swivel chair. I heard her take a deep breath before she started.
"I'd never been drunk before and we were at this party because everyone finished their GCSE. We weren't really old enough to drink-"
"No shit?"
"Don't interrupt," she laughed dragging out the words, "All of the toilets were taken in the house so I was waiting outside of this one when Flynn came up to talk to me-"
I laughed out loud for the third time today and the story wasn't even over. "His name was Flynn?"
"Yes. He was very cute! Let me finish!"
"Okay, soz."
"So we were talking and I was really drunk and I really had to go and....I peed! Don't laugh! You said you wouldn't judge me!” Laughing was an understatement. My stomach hurt and my eyes started to water.
"You pissed yourself?!"
"I didn't talk to anyone for a week, even my best friend for letting me get that drunk."
"Why didn't you go wee outside?"
"Well it's so easy for boys to do that isn't it? You can just whip it out, shake it off, and put it away. Girls have layers that they have to get through, and I'm a lady."
"A lady who wet herself."
"And what's your story?"
"And it appears that we're out of time."
"Oh no you don't!" She laughed wiping the corner of her eye and pouting, "You promised!"
"Alright I guess. I was out with one of my friends and his parents had just gotten divorced so he was living with his mum at the time. We'd went to a bar and I'd gotten so drunk that I forgot where I was-"
"That's it?"
"No, I wish it was but no. We went back to his place because my mum doesn't like me drinking and I didn't want to hear her nag. But when I got back to his place, I started stripping off."
"You didn't!"
"I did. I took off everything.... Everything. My friends mum was at work at the time but when she came home the next morning I was ass naked in her hallway sleeping on the floor...on my back...and it was morning...My friend had went in his room and closed the door. But, now every time I come home to visit him and his mum is there she winks at me and pinches my bum."
Rion was in tears the same way that I was a few minutes ago and I didn't even care that the story was embarrassing, because her laugh was as cute as she was. I looked at my phone to check the time and our shift would be over in five minutes. Any other day time would have dragged on, but it always seems when I'm here with her it goes by a little faster.
"I can't believe that." Rion spoke while wiping her eyes again.
"Well believe it, because it happens every time. Makes for a good story though." We both started to gather our things to leave but before we left the building, Rion tore a sheet of paper from her notebook and began to write on it.
"Here. Um, that's my number. I don't know about the party just yet because I have to check my work schedules and everything else, but I don't know. Just text me sometime before then?"
"Sure. I mean yeah of course I will.”
Rion grinned at me while biting her bottom lip before walking away and the walk home that usually took fifteen minutes now felt as if it only took five.
****
I closed the door behind me with an exhaled  breath and  a smile on my face before  inhaling the scent of pine and citrus. Michelle poked her head out into the hallway that led to the door where I stood before she stepped out of the kitchen fully wearing pink rubber gloves, a pair of my favorite Green Bay sweats, and a t-shirt that also happened to be mine.
“Honey, I'm home."
"Bitches?"
"Excuse me?" I looked at my best mate confused as she crossed her arms across her chest after removing the gloves from her hands,  tilting her head to the side as she spoke again.
"You said I have bitches, Styles. Apparently there's more to discuss."
I walked away from the door removing my work shirt and tossing it at Michelle. She tried to move out of the way and dodge the laundry that I'd threw at her but it still landed on her shoulder. She shrugged it off, causing it to land on the floor before shouting at me.
"I've just cleaned this entire apartment and you come in here making a mess! Pick it up and take it to you're room you quadruple nippled fuck."
"Girls don't mind my bonus nipples. It even sometimes becomes interesting foreplay, when I was having sex that is."
"Gross!"
I laugh and duck when she launches the shirt back to me causing it to land in in a pile on the kitchen floor. We both look at it and step over it before I grab two beers out of the refrigerator, one for myself and one for Chelle.When I try to hand her the beverage, she frowns at the twist off cap and then pouts at me causing me to scowl before I open it for her.
"You're so useless sometimes, Chelle."
"Says the man who doesn't clean, yet looks around at a spotless household that smells of cinnamon. I wonder who did that? Ah, it must have been the useless one. Now," Michelle spoke before clicking the neck of her beer with mine and then taking a sip, "What's this about my bitches?"
I chuckled as I took a gulp of my drink and headed for the living-room with Michelle close behind. We sat on the couch on on opposite ends of each other, relaxing after a long day as we usually do.
"Maybe not bitches in the plural sense. Maybe there's just one?"
Michelle stretched out on the couch putting her mitch-matched sock clad feet on my lap, drawing a displeased look from me but ignoring it entirely as she dramatically massaged her temples with her free hand.
"I can't deal with your game of clue today. The chemicals from the cleaning made my brain go fuzzy and I don't think the beer is helping. Just tell me what you think you know so I can tell you that you're wrong as usual."
I smiled at her, placing my half finished beer bottle on the table in front of us and then began massaging her calves causing her to close her eyes and hum in appreciation before taking another swig of her drink.
"Alison."
Michelle opened one of her eyes before quickly closing it again.
"What about her?"
"Was she a part of your plans B and C last night? Because something or someone tells me that she may have been." Michelle's eyes snapped open and she looked at me in shock. "It's okay if you like her. You can't help who you like."
"I don't like anyone," Michelle looked down briefly at her lap as she shrugged off my discovery. If I've learned anything about her from being her friend its that when she fails to make eye contact, she's lying. "Gianna stood me up last night and Alison was my backup plan. It's simple. I got what I wanted and left in the morning before she even woke up."
"Okay," I smirked at her before picking up my beer again, finishing what was left of it.
"I'm serious. I don't like anyone. I don't feel anything for anyone anymore. Senior year, up the ante, remember? I barely like you."
"Alright," I chuckled before pushing her legs off of me, returning to the kitchen to grab another drink.
"Harry!"
"I believe you, I believe you. You you're an emotionless drone," I spoke as I opened the refrigerator, "We need to go to the grocery store. This is getting ridiculous. We don't have anything in here besides beer, fizzy drinks, and water."
"There are plenty of noodle cups in the cabinet. We'll just tell people we're on an all liquid diet if we ever get visitors. We're not done talking about the other thing. Stop changing the subject. How did you even know I was at Alison's last night?"
I closed the door to the refrigerator with a smirk on my face walking past Michelle to go back into the living room. She followed behind me while lighting a candle that smells like oranges to keep the citrus scent going.
"Well? Come on Har. I don't want to have to chase you around the apartment all day for answers."
"Make me a noodle cup and bring me a bottle of water and I'll tell you."
"You were just in the kitchen!" Michelle speaks as she throws her lighter at me but does what I ask.
When she gets back, she hands me a fork and places the bottle of water on the table in front of me. I smile at her as a thank you before I speak.
"Rion."
"What?"
"Small world right? Or, small campus? Rion, is Alison's flatmate and she kind of, she heard you two last night. I mean, unless that wasn't you and there's another girl named Alison on campus? She said you guys kept her up because you both were too loud."
"There very well could be another Alison, Harry. It's not like there are only four lesbians that exist on earth. But Rion? The girl that you work with? The one that you have the hots in the pants for, Rion?"
"Yes and I don't just like her that way."
"Hm. Of course you do, you've only known her for three days..."
"What, hm? What do you have to say about her?"
"Oh, nothing except Alison calls her prudence. She says she's a real goody good and she's annoying."
"Thats sad," I say as I finish all that I was going to of my noodles leaving the rest for Michelle to eat. She takes the cup from my hands and takes a bite while looking at me to finish what I was going to say, "Rion says Alison's really nice and sweet."
“Well, I don't know. Rion may very well be Princess Peach. You know I don't do girly gossip. It gets on my last nerve. Alison just feels the need to talk to me when I'm there and its like shut the fuck up, girl. I didn't come over here to hear you talk, now get between my legs and-"
"Woah! Okay, and Mitchel is back. How are ya bro? I haven't really seen you in a few days."
"Fuck off Harry." Michelle laughs. "I hear the sordid details of you and the lads sexcapades all the time...well not you so much now, but you know what I was getting at."
"Yeah but, it's kind of different..."
"How?" Chelle quirked an eyebrow and turned her head looking to me for an answer that I'm not sure that I wanted to give her.
"Well, because... I um... and it's just that sometimes-"
"Wait! Harry you pervert! You get turned on by it don't you? It gives you a stiffy?"
"No!"
"Yes! Yes it does! You're turning all red!"
“No it doesn’t, Michelle!"
"Then what's your valid reason?"
I couldn't think of a lie fast enough and Michelle started to laugh, nasty snort and all. I took a pillow from the couch and threw it at her, making her fall backwards on the floor and stay there, using the pillow to her advantage as she lied down on the throw rug that covered the majority of the hardwood flooring in the living room. Our apartment was pretty nice considering that it was still school property, then again we did luck out putting in our bid in order to get into the newer buildings.
"Okay Hersh, I'll keep my dirty details to a minimum for the sake of your tight trousers. I can only imagine that, that gets uncomfortable. Anyway, did you ask prudence- sorry, Rion, to the party this weekend?"
"I did." I smile as I think about the neatly folded piece of paper in my pocket with her number written across it.
"What did she say?" Michelle looks up at me from her place on the floor.
"She said that she's not really that much of a party person." I smiled again a bit harder than I had before.
"So she's not going and she turned you down again? Maybe she is a prude. Don't worry about it Harry, there are plenty of other girls out here on campus just as smart, if not smarter than she is, prettier, and who will appreciate you for- What are you smiling about? Why are you so giddy from being turned down twice?"
I chuckled to myself while shaking my head and standing from my place on the couch, stretching before going towards my room.
"I didn't necessarily get turned down."
I could hear Michelle's footsteps close behind me as I walked into my room. She'd been in here. I can tell not only because of the clothes that she wore to clean that were mine, but because I could still faintly smell her perfume. Nothing was on the floor anymore and she even made my bed. I looked around the room and then back at her before I sat, grabbing one of the neatly placed pillows to put under my head, then lied back on it with my legs hanging over the edge of the mattress.
"Before you say anything, you'll be able to find your things. I just put everything where it’s supposed to normally go."
"I wasn't going to say anything besides thank you. I'm still buying a lock for my door, but thank you."
Michelle rolled her eyes. Something she calls a brainless trait. When she catches herself she covers her face in embarrassment before she continues to bother me, taking a seat  next to me on the bed. "So how is Rion's telling you that she's not a party girl, not necessarily turning you down?"
"She gave me her number. You know, for someone who doesn't like to hang out with girls you surely do a lot of girly gossip. You're so nosey, Jesus."
"Oh please, Harrow. You wanted to tell me just as bad if not worse than I wanted to know. Are you going to call her tonight?"
“No. That's too forward and desperate. I'll text her tomorrow or something."
"You're such a teenaged girl. You think about things too much instead of just doing them. Sometimes I wonder if you have a bajingo where your penis should be. If she gave you her number its because she wants a call.”
"Go fuck off somewhere else Mitchel! And by the way, those joggers and that shirt are mine. Thief."
Michelle stood from the bed with a smirk on her face before she took off my shirt and my sweats, folding them precisely before she put them in my washing basket. I kept my eyes on her face when she looked back at me and I swear that I tried to keep my eyes on her face the entire time, but I would be lying if I said that my eyes didn't roam over her  smooth skin when she wasn't looking at me. I closed my eyes quickly and turned my head away. Hearing her laugh was the only evidence that I had to let me know that she was still standing in my room.
"I didn't say take off my clothes right now. God, Chelle don't be so literal. Go dress yourself!"
"I have on underwear! And you took off your shirt when you came through the door. AND I've seen you walk around in your boxers plenty. Is there some sort of double standard because I'm a woman?”
"That's not the point! And yes there is! Please go put on trousers and a shirt?"
“Whatever, Harry. I'm going to bed. Clearly I'll have to sleep this way because it's hot as hell fire in my room. It's a shame that this is a new building but they still didn't bother to make sure that the ventilation was right before they stuck people in it. Good night and all that."
"Night." I looked towards Chelle and then looked away again as she began to walk out of my room, her nicely rounded bum bounced as she closed the door behind her.
****
Saturday came quickly. Too quickly for my liking, and I hadn't text Rion or called her at all. I didn't want to seem desperate, but perhaps waiting three days made it seem like I wasn't interested? I hadn't seen her at work for the past two days because she has two other jobs to juggle. I'd hoped that she could get off for today, however, even though I haven't said a word to her.
"Just call her. Stop being a chicken shit. The party is tonight, and I'm rooting for you, Styles." Michelle spoke as we walked down the aisles of Sainsbury Supermarket. We'd been here for nearly half an hour and had nothing in our cart except beer, noodle cups, frozen pizza's and a bottle of Goldschläger for tonight. Broke college students can afford alcohol when they can't afford anything else.
"Are we going to buy any real food, or is this about as good as it gets?" I asked, ignoring Michelle's comment.
"What? We've got plenty. Plus I think there are chicken nuggets in there and that's a delicacy for us. Don't avoid what I've said to you."
"I haven't avoided anything, and we would be able to get more than chicken nuggets and noodles if you would just call your parents."
Michelle hesitated before she looked back at me and then back down at her list. She doesn't call her parents much to ask for money if she can avoid it. Her mum isn't doing so well health wise and to the best of my knowledge she hasn't been for some years now. The doctors thought that she had leukemia, but apparently they've only just discovered that's not the case. I think it's what drives Michelle's dream to become a doctor. She's eager to find out what's going on with her mum so that she can be the one to cure it.
She glanced at her phone having an internal battle with herself on whether she should ring home or not. I felt bad for asking her and I normally wouldn't, but I'm running low on funds myself. I usually get a stipend every other week from my mum and paid every other Friday from my shitty job, but unfortunately I'm between pay checks and for some reason my mum is late.
Michelle decided against my idea putting her phone back in her pocket.
"We're in our last year of uni. What would it look like if we resorted to calling our parents to wire us food money? You call yours if you're so hungry."
"It would look like we're both working shit jobs barely making wage and paying to rent out the apartment that we have so that we can finish out this last year with a roof over our heads. I wouldn't ask you to usually, but is an emergency. I asked my parents last time. It's your turn."
“Well, we can just get rid of something then if we don't have enough." Michelle stopped the cart and began to sift through the contents inside it, moving over ten cups of noodles out of the way and the one bag of chicken nuggets that we had. When her hand landed on the alcohol, we both looked at each other and shook our heads no. "Fuck," Michelle groaned under her breath, "Fine I'll ask my parents tomorrow. Let’s just get this for now and get out of here."
When we left the grocery store, after loading all four of our bags into my car, Michelle got quiet while looking out the window. I still hadn't told her that Louis is planning on meeting up with me and the lads to drink before we go just to prove that he's not one of those people and usually, now days anyway, wherever Louis is Michelle is far away and vice versa. I figure that there's no better time to tell her rather than now while she's quiet, but at the same time I don't want to hurt her feelings. She seemed lost in thought, but there's still a smile on her face.
I cleared my throat causing her to look at me quizzically with an eyebrow raised.
"Um, so.."
"Yes?"
"About the party tonigh-"
"No you don't!" Michelle cut in not allowing me to finish what I was going to say as we pulled up to our apartment. "You're not cutting out of this. Gosh, Harry, I know that you want to be more serious and that this year and I'm sorry for not using the Ultimate Alarm the other day when you were in an alcoholic hibernation, but it's a Saturday. Can you not have fun on Saturdays?" Michelle frowned pouting a bit.
"I'm going to the party, if that's what that speech was pertaining to at all? I wasn't going to say that I'm not going."
"Oh. Well then by all means continue." She smiled this time, happy with herself because she didn't have to argue her case any further.
"Yeah, I um, I'm going to the party, but Louis wanted me and the lads to meet up with him before we go. Pre-gaming and all that." I spoke quickly hoping that she didn't mind or hear what I said for that matter. Her eyes stayed straight forward, looking outside the windshield before she replied.
"All of you?"
"Yeah. He kind of asked about it earlier this week when I saw him...But you know we'll hang out at the party and stuff."
She nodded her head. It was the only response she'd given as her eyes stayed on the boot of the car in front of us.
"Are you alright with it? I can always-"
"Don't worry about it, Harrow. You were his friends first after all, and we live with each other. I'm tired of seeing your ugly mug anyway." Michelle laughed while patting my cheek and I shoved her hand off of me. "Plus, we all know I have bitches that I need to tend to so it's fine."
She covers up how she truly feels with a joke and all of a sudden I feel guilty.
"You're sure?"
"Yeah it's fine. You're very much a pleaser, Harrow. Did you know that?"
"What are you talking about?" I asked as I parked the car and grabbed the groceries out of the back seat to go upstairs.
"You can't please everyone. In the end someone is going to have to be let down or hurt. That's the way of life. It's okay to be selfish sometimes, Harry. That's what I mean."
Michelle sighed as she walked ahead of me, using her keys to unlock the door to our flat. I put the groceries and my things down in the kitchen before I went for a wee, all the while trying to figure out where the hell that last bit of our conversation was coming from, but when I came out of the bathroom she was back to acting like her normal self.
"Since you're leaving me to fend for myself tonight," Michelle spoke holding up two double shot glasses filled to the brim with alcohol, "We didn't buy this for nothing." She spoke in reference to the Goldschläger that ate up the majority of our money and bit her bottom lip while smiling at me.
I winced, already feeling the burn of the liquid going down my throat, before looking at my watch.
"It's only five. No one is going to start drinking until at least nine. You're trying to kill me. I said sorry for agreeing to go with Louis and the lads. Why are you making me do this?"
"Harry, when we were first years we drank early all the time."
"And my liver paid for it."
"Oop, Harry what's that?"
I looked over my shoulder confused before I looked back over to Michelle.
"What's what?"
"Is that a bajingo between your legs where you penis should be?" Michelle started to laugh while pointing in that general area.
"Piss off Chelle!" I spoke before walking up to the table and grabbing the shot that she'd placed there for me. I held it up to eye level inspecting it first. There was something floating in the glass.
"It's actually gold," Michelle said seeing the confusion written clean across my face, "hence the name Goldschläger."
"So we can afford to drink gold flecks in alcohol, but we can't afford real food?"
"I'm going to call my parents tomorrow I said, Mr. Sensable. Now shut up and down it!"
I looked at Michelle shaking my head as we clinked glasses and turned the shot up to our lips. The burn of it made my eyes water and when I looked at Michelle, hers were doing the same. I picked up the bottle on the table and read it before Michelle took it from my hands, pouring us both another shot.
"This is forty-five percent alcohol."
"Yes. It's strong. So, so strong." She nodded as if she already knew.
"We'll be trashed if we keep drinking this. We probably wouldn't even make it to the party." I spoke before I walked over to the refrigerator to grab us beers, hoping that she would switch substances.
"No we won't. I won't let us miss it. But legend has it that this is supposed to get you drunk quickly. The gold flecks supposedly make microscopic cuts in your esophagus so the alcohol can get into your bloodstream faster. Cheers." Michelle handed me the shot glass again as if after hearing that I would want to drink it again.
"Michelle that's horrible. I don't want to-"
"Just take one more shot of it and then we'll just sip beer until you leave to go meet up with Louis and the rest of the lads."
Her eyes were pleading and I couldn't tell her no. We both flipped our heads back as he downed the shots and with in a peer pressured hour, ten shots and two beers later, there was a sloppy grin on my face and I my vision was doubled. Michelle however seemed fine.
"Your alcohol tolerance has lowered dramatically. It’s almost seven. What time were you going to go to Louis'?"
"In an hour."
"I'll drive you." She spoke as she sat against the couch taking out her phone and laughing at my facial expression.
"You had just as much to drink as I have. You can't drive."
"I can. I've got a buzz but that's all. You're trashed. I only had three shots. The other seven you took alone." I looked at her in shock. How could she have tricked me that way? I swear she was drinking too. Michelle laughed and I could already tell that she was recording me. "I'm putting this on instagram."
"Don't! I really hate you." I slurred while pointing at her, only causing her to laugh more.
"You need to loosen up, especially for your hot date tonight. There's no point in you being so uptight at the start of the quarter. I'll let you go back to your boring self when Monday comes around again." She pulled her phone away from me as I tried to take it from her. "You might want to check your phone by the way. It seems you have a message."
I looked down at the notification that showed on the screen, squinting my eyes to try and focus on what was there. When my eyes adjusted, I almost felt sober.
Rion: I was starting to think that maybe you'd forgotten about me. I checked my schedule and I'm actually free tonight. I don't know how long I'll stay, but I'll meet you there. Alison is going so I'll just be with her.
My eyes widened before I scrolled up to see what I supposedly said.
To Rion: Hiiiii, It's Harry. Sorry for being such a stupid arsehole and not texting you sooner, but would you still want to go to that party tonight?
"You texted Rion?"
"Yup."
"But I-I'm not...Fuck!"
"What? You like her right? I've done you a favor."
"Yeah, but—“
"No but's. You either like her or you don't and if you do and if she likes you, which she does, obviously, then you have the go ahead to call. She wanted you to call. She clearly likes you. She's excited and so are you. You're just nervous. You haven't been on a date in six months or maybe more? But, this should be like riding a bike, if you will. I've removed your kickstand, now all you have to do is pedal."
I looked at Michelle and shook my head before I went in my room to find something to wear for tonight, deciding on the usual skinny jeans and oversized shirt, leaving a few of the buttons in the front undone as I stumbled into the living room to wait for Michelle. She reappeared from her room shortly after I did wearing black leather looking tight pants and some sort of red cut off shirt along with her fake glasses and red lips. She looked beautiful and I could only think that she was doing so for Alison.
As much as Chelle would doubt it, I think the player may have taken an interest in one that's supposed to be a pawn in her dating game. All I can hope for is that Alison treats her right. She deserves someone who would.
"What's the point of wearing a shirt if it’s barely buttoned, Styles? And it's see through. I mean I guess kudos for buttoning the three buttons you did bother with correctly." It could be because I'm drunk, but I could have sworn that I saw her look me up and down...not necessarily in a friendship manner. I ignored her while grinning and standing from the couch before she grabbed the Goldschläger again pouring us both another shot. "One for the road?"
"I'll take it if you take it first you lying Judas. I'm already drunk enough as it is."
Michelle cringed before she threw her head back downing the shot, eyes watering again by how strong of a burn the cinnamon schnapps left behind. I did the same and then took another for the hell of it since I wouldn't be driving tonight. Michelle eyed me as I walked down the stairs and to her car as if I would fall.
"Stop watching me and walk yourself."
"Someone has to watch out for you. You're clumsy enough as it is, bambi. Adding alcohol to the mix is a disaster waiting to strike."
"Says the absolute asshole who got me drunk in the first place."
"Oh yeah...That's right." Michelle smiled victoriously before she spoke again, clearing her throat before hand, "Uh, so, since I'm taking you to Louis' place where does he stay? I know he must have moved from where we lived before..." Her face dropped slightly.
"With his bird about five blocks over... Sorr-"
"It's fine." Michelle started her car, looking through the windscreen straight ahead like she did earlier as she drove and listened to the directions I gave her, telling he where to turn.
When we pulled up in front of the house, Niall was outside on the porch with a beer in his hand, smoking a cigarette. No doubt because Hollie put him out of the house, not wanting anything to smell like stale smoke.
"Harry! Hi Mitch!" He waved to us as he stumbled over to the car clearly drunk himself and louder than usual. "You're staying too, Michelle?" She shook her head no while smiling half way at Niall as I got out of the car. "You should stay. This thing, whatever it is, between you and Lou is ridiculous. You guys were so close and it can get there again. Just get out of the car and-"
"I can't Ni, I have somewhere to be, myself." Michelle's eyes begged Niall to be more quiet but he didn't get the hint. He was going to speak again, but was cut off by Lou as he walked out onto his porch with Hollie close behind. He didn't notice that Michelle was with us until I moved to walk towards the house.
"Lads!"
I looked from Michelle to Louis then back to Michelle again and as I did I saw her eyes widen right before she cursed under her breath. Louis paused in his steps, and his eyebrows drew together slightly before he spoke.
"Michelle." He nodded at her as a greeting gesture making everything more awkward.
"Louis."
"Mitch can stay right?" In that moment everyone looked at Niall as he took another drunken, oblivious drag off of his cigarette and it appeared that everyone wanted to punch him in the face, including me.
"No actually I was just leaving. Enjoy your night boys. Be safe, Harrow. I'll see you later yeah?"
I nodded my head before she spoke a simple "good," and sped off as quickly as her car could take her. Louis took a deep breath, shaking his head before smiling at us and inviting us in for more booze. I honestly didn't think that I would drink anymore tonight, but after that I felt the need to.
Niall dropped his cigarette and stepped on it while shrugging his shoulders at me as we followed behind Louis into the house where everyone else sat.
“Read the room next time, yeah?” I spoke under my breath hoping that only Niall would hear me.
“What room? It’s stupid that they don’t talk anymore. For fucks sake he was going t’ marry—”
“I know, Niall. I know.” I interrupted Niall mid sentence and could not help but notice the hitch in my jaw, that became more sore than it had been in a while.
 We all spoke as we walked in the house and I put the topic behind me in order to proceed on with the rest of the night and  for the first time in a while I was happy that the liquor continued to flow. It  seemed to put me and everyone else around in the right mindset for one of the biggest parties of the year, but Louis still seemed somewhat flustered about seeing Michelle for the first time since they called things off. I know Michelle probably didn't feel the best either and I tried to text her to see if she was alright, but I got no response.
Chelle: Are you okay, Chelle? I'm so sorry about that. Didn't know that he would come outside.
Though I got no response to my text, I expected to see Michelle as soon as we got to The Barn. The title of the bar was fitting as it was out closer towards farmland and covered in red paint as it actually was previously a stable. It was crowded with everyone from students to professors indulging in what the night had to offer, but as I skimmed the crowd I began to get more anxious. We had been here for an hour. I was sure that by now that I would have run into her. Taking out my phone, I’d opted to give her a ring, but before I could unlock my screen my phone began to buzz in my hand.
"Hello?" I slurred on the line while closing my opposite ear with my finger so that I could hear whoever it was I was talking to.
"Harry?" The deafening music and noise in the background made it almost impossible to hear.
"No, this is Harry." hiccup “Who is this?"
"Harry, it's Rion can you hear me?"
I walked away from Niall, Darragh, and the rest of the lads as they prepared to make Niall do a keg stand; swaying as I went.
"Who is this?" I repeated trying to hear better, hoping that it was Michelle calling me back in response to the text I’d sent.
"Harry, it's Rion. Can you hear me now?"
"Rion?"
"Yes."
"Hi." I smiled as if she were in front of me, when in all actuality I was in the middle of the crowded street surrounded by a sea of strangers. A car honked at me just as I was about to cross back towards the party, causing me to step back so that I didn't get hit.
"Where are you?" She laughed into the phone causing me to smile again.
“Outside enjoying the weather. Are you here? At the party I mean."
"I am," when she spoke I could hear the smile in her voice, over the excessive chattering and music in the background. "Can you come to the doors near the front of the pub and meet me there?"
"Sure. Stay on the phone with me? You know, just until I find you." I slurred into the phone but Rion laughed again nonetheless.
"Of course...Is that you in the middle of the street? Please be careful if it is."
I looked around, confused as to how she could see me but I couldn't see her. I walked towards the pub again forcing my bleary eyes to focus until I spotted her, standing on a large rock that was just outside the door. When I reached her, I held out my hand to help her down. She took it and called me a gentleman before I said anything else.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" I asked as I looked down at her in her jean jacket and simple black dress that clung to her chest then flowed down to her feet.
"I guess. It's not that bad. Ten times better than the last party I went to already."
I laughed.
"You haven't drunk anything?"
"One mixed drink, but I didn't really finish it. Are you enjoying yourself?" She asked me as we began to walk to nowhere in particular.
"I am. A little bit more now, actually.” A slight blush came to Rion's cheeks before she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and I cleared my throat to continue. "Where's your flatmate?"
"Alison? I'm not sure. She said she was going to meet up with a friend of hers. The same girl that she was with the last time no doubt."
My mind went to Michelle as I checked my phone again and still I had no messages from her.
"So, she left you here?"
"I haven't seen her in the last hour... She could have. But if she did, I have no real way home now. She was my ride. I knew I should have just driven on my own."
I didn't say anything more, but I had the feeling that Alison bailed. I might have an idea as to who with and where to as well.
"Well, are you ready to go?" We ended up closer to the street facing in the direction of the campus. "The night is oddly nice for the end of August and the sky isn't as cloudy as it could be. We might miss getting rained on if we leave now."
"Do you have your car?" She asked looking towards me as if it were a deal breaker.
“No, but I would walk back with you. The parties aren't really my thing anymore. I just came to catch up with some friends. It was nice to get out. We're only about a 15 minute walk away from campus."
Rion looked towards the pub and then back at me again before she smiled and answered me sweetly.
"I'd love to get out of here with you."
Rion and I began walking, but as soon as we got a little bit past the corner where the party was being held at she stopped, causing me to stop as well and look back at her with an eyebrow raised.
"Are you going to tell any of your friends that you're leaving?" She asks while holding her dress up just past her ankles so it doesn't touch the ground.
I grin at her, absolutely ecstatic that she's giving me the chance to walk her back to her dorm room. If those tossers want to know where I went they know how to call. I guess Mitch really did do me a favor and I might owe her one after this.
"Oh, um...No. They're having a good time. I'm sure they won't even notice that I left. It's okay. Besides, I'm getting kind of tired anyway. I could always just shoot them a message."
Rion nods her head in agreement before we begin to walk again. Bunching the material of her dress in one hand in hopes not to step on it, I couldn't help but chuckle as I looked at her.
"Its so long. I love this dress but it's a bit of a hassle to wear." Rion comments, already knowing the reason for my amusement. I gently grab her hand to stop her once more and this time she looks at me with as soft smile forming on her lips.
"Here, let me..." I trailed off, gently taking her hand that had the fabric of her dress, causing her to let it go. Our eyes met as I slowly went down on my knees in front of her. If I would have gone too fast I'm sure I would have lost my balance or worse. It's almost a wonder that I can form a coherent sentence. All that I can hope is that I don't completely reek of alcohol.
I take the hem of the dress and tie a knot in it that's hopefully loose enough to undo when she gets home if she wants, and high enough so that she doesn't have to worry about stepping on it or have it sweep on the ground to get torn or dirty; just above her ankles. I'm not going to lie, when I was down there I looked at her feet and what I could see of her legs. I won't say I have a foot fetish or anything weird like that, but if a girls toes looks like they can pick up an orange with ease and whip it at the back of your head, it's kind of a turn off for me.
Her feet were beautiful aside from a few cuts here and there on her the tops of them. She even had a plaster or two on one of them, but somehow she even made that okay because they matched the purple coloring of her nail polish.
I stood after I was finished, and by the look on her face I must have been down there for a reasonable amount of time to make a knot, at least I hope I was. When I was looking at her feet, I had to make it not so noticeable that that's what I was doing. I don't want her to think I'm some kind of a freak.
"Thank you," she exclaimed while smiling, "I don't know why I didn't think of that."
"Yeah I saw some other girl do it and thought it made sense."
Rion smiled at me again and as we walked next to each other, her hand grazed mine; once, twice, three times before I grabbed it in my own. I saw her look over at me through her peripheral vision. It was a quick glance but I saw it nonetheless. I also saw her bite her bottom lip to try to prevent her smile from getting any bigger than it already was.
I didn't want to bust her out and embarrass her, but I did want to tease her a little. I gently squeezed her hand while biting my bottom lip to stop my smile from spreading much like she did, causing her to laugh before I changed the subject.
"The sky is really clear tonight. I can see Orion's Belt. It really might not rain after all."
"My namesake." Rion smirked.
"Sorry, what?" I spoke noticing that the party sounds were fading farther and farther into the distance.
"My mum is really into Greek mythology and constellations, so my name and its spelling came from Orion himself." She pointed towards the sky and the huge constellation before she looked back at me, slipping her hand back into mine purposefully.
"Cool story. And I'm not being a sarcastic asshole or anything by the way. That makes your name original." hiccup "And I like it a lot. I think my mum named me Harold because it was the only male name that begins with H and that comes after G that she could think of. Her creativity stopped after she realized that she wanted to put her kids names in alphabetical order." Rion laughed and nudged my arm.
"Don't talk about your mum. I think she might have chosen the name because Harry fits you. I've always liked that name."
"Have you now?" I asked with a smirk on my face and an eyebrow raised.
"I have."
"It's because of Prince Harry isn't it? Be honest."
"No it's-"
"Tell the truth."
"He's just so cute. He's the dreamiest ginger I've ever seen besides Ed Sheeran. All due respect to his royalness." Rion spoke causing me to laugh and shake my head before she continued. "Then again, all of the Harry's I've had the pleasure of meeting were pretty fit." She said looking over at me and then back up at the velvety black night sky speckled with beautiful stars.
"How many of us have you met?"
"Well...Just one so far."
I looked over at her as we finally reached a street that had lamp posts and she let out a small chuckle that sounded as if she were clearing her throat. Her eyes caught the light that lined the streets making her irises seem to brighten even though her eye color was dark brown.
We'd finally reached campus just as the clouds started to roll in at two in the morning and from there, I followed Rion's lead back to her dorm. In my three full years at Cambridge, I'd never been to this one in particular, but apparently, Michelle has. I saw her car in the parking lot. Something told me that she would be here, seeking comfort for the blow she received earlier. The sooner that she realizes that fucking doesn’t fix what hurts her, the better off she'll be. Part of me wants to bang on the door as soon as we get to the room, but I decide against it. All I cab hope that she’ll talk to someone eventually. If that someone happens to be Alison, then I'll be happy for her, I guess.
"Thank you, Harry. For getting me home safe and asking me to come out. I had fun for the amount of time I was there for." Rion leaned against her door, smiling while looking up at me.
"It was no problem. Thank, you for, you know, coming." I could hear myself wanting to ramble before I closed my mouth.
“Good night, then." Rion spoke, still smiling and then pausing.
"Goodnight."
Rion turned to unlock her door and when she got it open I turned to leave, but before I could go I could feel her pull my hand. When I turned she had a pout on her face.
"You know, you're really horrible at picking up on signals."
Huh?
"I-"
"I waited so patiently as well."
"I'm-"
"Three days. You didn't text me or say anything for three days. I didn't know what to think. I still don't."
"You're-"
"Oh shut up, Harry."
Rion crossed her arms over her chest and out of shock I closed my mouth, not really sure what to say or do. Rion squinted her eyes at me before shaking her head and turning to go into her little dorm before I stopped her, pulling her to me before I kissed her deeply, pushing her against the wall a bit to show her how it should be done.After it was over Rion sighed in content with her eyes still closed before reopening them slowly. I grinned against her lips before speaking knowing that I’d won her over.
"I didn't know what to think either to be honest. It's been a while."
Rion grabbed me by the front of my shirt, bringing my lips back down to hers.She pulled away, kissing the corner of my mouth making a trail to my ear and then kissing me right beneath my earlobe. There was no tongue involved at all but it still had been the most action than I'd gotten in months and it was still enough to leave us both breathless at the end of her antics. 
"Do you know what to think now?” She pushed her door open, speaking before she closed the door behind herself with a cheeky smile.
I’m not sure how long I stood there with a goofy grin on my face after it was all said and done, but when I got to the stairs my drunken mind allowed my legs to work properly and carry me down while still having the memory replay in my head.
I'd only gotten through the doors of the exit of her dormitory before my brain went to my pants, thinking that I might be able to get a good wank before I fell asleep with Rion's lips pressed against my jaw as the mental muse. Just when I thought about flushing any possible tissues instead of putting them in my bin, my phone rang.
"Harry?" Rion whispered into the phone, sounding on the agitated side.
"Rion? What's wrong?"
"She's at it again." Rion exhaled into the phone before I heard the creaking of a door, sounding as if it were being shut.
"Who's at what?"
"Alison and her, friend."
I started to chuckle, thinking of all of the ways that I would tease Michelle tomorrow when I saw her. I know that she's been active, but damn. She's got to be insatiable. I pictured her and Alison, terribly sweaty, gasping for air-
"Harry?"
"Sorry, what did you say?" Rion's voice snapped me out of getting too carried away in inappropriate thought again. Thoughts that I shouldn't venture into about my best pal.
"I really want to be able to sleep without being disrupted. Do you mind if I come to yours? I'll sleep on the couch, the floor, a chair. Anything you wouldn't mind sparing really."
“No, of course I don't mind."
Oh god.
"Are you sure? Should you ask your flatmate first? I wouldn't want to intrude on you or him."
My mind was swimming with a thousand things. Minor details that had the potential to be major. Is my room clean? When is the last time that I had a girl in my room that wasn’t Michelle? Do we have water bottles that I can offer Rion when we get into my flat if she's thirsty? Why does Rion think that Mitch is a guy?
“No… I uh, I'm alone for the night, actually. My flatmate is staying somewhere else I think." In your roommates' room, disrupting you currently.
"Thank you so much." Rion breathed out, sounding somewhat relieved.
"Yeah no problem. I'll turn around now."
"Oh shit, did you get far? I'm so sorry."
"No it's fine. I just got down the street a bit." I spoke as I neared her building again.
I saw her walking out in the same clothes she was wearing before. When she got to me, she thanked me again before we took the surprisingly short walk towards my flat.
"You live in the new buildings? Fancy."
"Yeah, it's alright. For it being new, the ventilation sucks in Mitch's room, but that's the only complaint we have."
I unlocked the door and turned the knob saying a silent prayer as we walked in, but I'd forgotten that Michelle cleaned the whole place, including my room despite my protest for her not to.  It was the first time that I’d been happy that she didn’t listen to me.
"It's really nice, Harry. You were being modest." Rion spoke as she tiptoed through the apartment, stopping in the living-room and taking a seat for herself before removing her sandals. "Really clean for two lads."
"Oh, actually-"
"Sorry, Harry. I don't want to interrupt, but do you think I could use the restroom first? I'm bursting to go."
I laughed while running my hand through my hair. "Sure. It's just down the hall. We wouldn't want a repeat of your last party."
Rion turned red, covering her mouth in a laugh and speaking to me as she walked down the hall.
"I really still can't believe I told you that."
While she was gone, I grabbed extra blankets from the linen closet and laid out a t-shirt and a pair of shorts of mine for her to wear on my bed. I also grabbed a bottle of water and put it on my desk for her in case she was thirsty, thankful that I made Michelle put some of those noodle cups back in exchange for it. Before I made my bed on the couch, I went into Michelle's room to steal one of her pillows but I’d gotten distracted easily. On her bedside table was a picture of the both of us taken last year. We were both pretty out of it and you can clearly tell in the photo, but in the midst of all the insanity Michelle was still alert and smiling at me while I was laughing and pulling her shirtsleeve with my teeth.
When I heard Rion leaving the bathroom I quickly left from Michelle's room, placing the photograph back down where I got it from and closing her bedroom door behind me.
"You'll be in my room. I've laid you out some things to make you more comfortable."
"Awe, Harry. I can take the couch really. I don't want to kick you out of your bed."
"No you won't. Now, go to bed. Good night, but for real this time."
Rion eyed me as she nodded her head in agreement, a slight grin on her lips. 
“Yes for real this time.” She spoke before her bottom lip was drawn into her mouth. The liquor I consumed tonight made me do the same as I looked her up and down shamelessly, grinning as I did so.
I started to take a step backwards only to notice that Rion advanced forwards causing me to stop in my tracks. Our lips connected again more fervently than they had before, before I started to walk again leading Rion back into my bedroom.
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soft-for-them · 3 years
Text
husband has a real ring to it ♡ sam wilson x male reader
anon: hey so like, being sam wilson's husband (or new husband) at your wedding??? (sorry it’s a bit short...)
i haven’t specified if the male reader is cis or trans but there is a bit in here where the reader compares themself to steve, whether you see this as the reader being trans or cis is up to you.
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the gif has no significance it’s just a good gif... also there is a HUGE lack of sam content out there. people get you shit together and write about my fave man. not proof read.
It is an odd time.
The country you now stand in is completely foreign to you. Nat can speak the language; you think it might me some form of Russian. If you could guess you think you might be in the Ukraine or a country that was once a part of Soviet Union.
None of the on the run Avengers will tell you exactly where you are for you safety but you don’t care.
All you care about right now is the blazer you just tried on is too wide at the shoulders.
Even Steve says the shoulders of the jet black jacket are too wide even for him and that saying something coming from a man who was artificially made to be the spitting image of masculinity and heroism.
Sometimes you do get jealous of the super soldier and how he came to be.
Once a skinny and short kid now the second most handsome man you’ve ever seen, sometimes you think ‘if only i was as strong as Steve and not a useless civilian’.
Thought if anyone hears your negative thoughts in this small, cramped room off the side of a small abandoned church you would be done for. 
Natasha, Wanda, Steve and Sam have always loved you and they don’t tolerate your pessimism at all. None of them will take your self-loathing especially on this very day.
But that’s the thing, you’re not self-loathing today. You push away any non-happy thoughts and put on a genuine smile.
It may not be official in the eyes of the law for your other half is a wanted war criminal but your getting married to your long time boyfriend Sam Wilson today and nothing will stop you from doing so. You have both promised that he will properly marry you but for now you have agreed to exchanging rings.
‘Where did you find this place?’ you ask Nat as she takes you too big blazer from you.
The place is completely and utterly abandoned in the middle of nowhere. Plants have caved in apart of the roof but the stained glass still absorbs and reflects light making the rotten pews look like the seats of a king.
‘I knew you might not want to get married in a church but this is the safest place I could find, that with the fact this is no longer a place of worship.’ She walks over to you and tucks a handkerchief into your white dress shirt pocket.
Regardless of if your religious or not you know this place is a perfectly acceptable place to trade rings with the man you love.
Nat looks you over and smiles, her arms wrapping themselves around you in a rare hug.
‘You look very handsome (y/n).’ she mutters.
‘Even with my beard?’ you half joke, referring to the scraggly hair growing back on your chin from shaving it off the week before for a disguise.
‘You have a better beard that Sam and Cap put together.’ Her tone is joyous but utterly serious which makes you smile grow even bigger.
You do not feel any negativity, all you feel is utter euphoria in your wedding attire.
‘You ready to go’ she whispers like a happy mother about to marry off her only son.
All you do is nod as you let her lead you out to the alter where you both wait for Sam and Cap to arrive.
Wanda sits in a front pew; she very obviously misses Vision and if it was up to you he would be here to celebrate for you had befriended the synthetic man before the ‘civil war’ happened.
But alas none of you can risk you all being found out on your unofficial wedding day.
For a moment you all wait in silence looking up the stain glass of some kind of saint.
This isn’t the place you want to get married in but you can see it’s charm even if it’s been abandoned, ransacked and left to rot.
You can imagine Steve giving Sam a prep talk, for he had given you one about an hour before.
When Steve had talked to you he seemed like a overjoyed father, even with the tears in his eyes, you’re still thankful the super soldier talked to you.
Your waiting is cut short as the side door that you and Nat had came through opens to show both Steve and Sam.
Steve walks out first, holding the door open for Sam then Sam walks out, his eyes automatically on you.
‘Ow, I though Steve was going to walk you down the aisle.’ Wanda quips to Sam despite her brooding feelings.
A short conversation goes on between Sam and Steve (probably another pep talk) but all you can focus on is Sam looking at you as he talks to Steve.
Steve pats Sam on the shoulder, which turns into a hug, then he lets him go.
 Sam wears a suit very similar to yours; a simple black suit that could be found quickly and very easily without being detected by Tony or an of the American government.
The woman in the small mum and pop shop where very kind to you both despite their being a language barrier, they had helped you get the suits for a good price.
Much like you also Sam wears no blazer jacket, with you don’t mind considering you can see every muscle through the hand made white shirt.
‘Where’s your blazer?’ you ask.
He walks right out to you and holds your hands. His hands are cold but you assume it’s from standing around in a derelict church for a while.
‘It was too small in the shoulders.’ He smiles, the gap in teeth showing.
‘Ah, that could have been my blazer Sam.’ You laugh grabbing the attention of the others. You all laugh at the mishap of the mixed up blazer but that doesn’t really matter.
Wanda stands up and passes both of you the rings; one single silver band with your name carved on the inside for you and a much fancier looking ring for Sam. Despite Sam’s ring looking more expensive it’s actually very cheap.
He had quickly bought it when you were all hiding out in China, Sam had quickly realised that he had a ring for you but he didn’t have one for himself. He’s had your pure silver ring for years now waiting for the right moment to give it to you.
 ‘How do we actually do this?’ you whisper whilst the other sit down on the pews.
‘I don’t really know, maybe when just exchange the rings and say something.’
‘Like vows? Do we kiss?’ the questioning isn’t really that serious for the two of you are smiling like idiots.
‘Well all I can say is that I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you-’ Sam begins saying as he slips the silver ring on your finger, ’-I love you my husband.”’
’Wow… husband has a real ring to it.’ You beam as look down at Sam’s hands, you fingers nimbly placing his ring on, ‘-Does this now mean I get to kiss the bride?’
Your joke not only makes yourself laugh but you can hear the laughter of the other in the background.
‘Gladly.’ Is all Sam say before holding your face and kissing you.
.
.
.
honestly i don’t think this is the best thing ever but i’m posting it.
i’ve been writing a lot of ftm trans reader requests today so i kind of automatically wrote the reader as trans at first. i’ve changed it so the reader can be cis or trans but i just putting that out there just in case i’ve forgotten to change something. (sorry)
also i know that many people have different types of weddings and cultures so i’ve tried to make it as ambiguous as i can, that why it’s not a technically legal wedding.
anyway, sam is the best and i would love to write more fics for him!
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imasimpforshanks · 3 years
Note
omg I am so sorry I completely forgot to put the alphabet 😅 E C J M T for Shanks for the angst alphabet! thank you and sorry for the mistake! ❤️
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Angst Alphabet - Shanks
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a/n: hiii! Thank y’all for requesting! To the second anon, I went with Shanks (I hope that’s ok!!!) 💗💗💗
LOLOL THIS MY HUSBANDDDDD 💍😍
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A-Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)
It would depend on how much he felt he could have prevented it. However, Shanks understands all to well just how cruel the world can be. He can’t constantly be in control of everything, so although it would be devastating, he would have to realize that this is reality.
B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)
Shanks would use the excuse that he is a Yonko. He’s no good for you, and you deserve so much better than an infamous pirate who only brings danger. While these are just excuses - ways to make breaking up with you easier - he really would be speaking from the heart. Shanks has always felt this way but never voiced it, but now it’s finally time to let you go.
C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)
He leaves for long periods of time and refuses to you along. You know he’s only doing it for your safety, but it hurts that he doesn’t think you’re strong or responsible enough to join his crew on their voyages (note: he doesn’t actually think you’re not strong or responsible – his pirate life is just extremely dangerous, even as a yonko).
D-Death (how would they react to your death?)
He’s seen and experienced a lot of death in his life so he’d be a able to cope with it a little better than others would. Even so, your death would still be heart-breaking (he would mourn privately though). Now, if he literally saw you get killed in front of him then RIP to the person who killed you because they will be the one/s to die next.
E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)
Shanks is quite an open book. If he’s angry everyone knows. If he’s happy everyone knows (etc.). But, if I really had to pick one… I suppose it would be sadness or grief. He feels obligated to put on a front for his crew (although they can see right through it). He tends to let out his sadness and grief when he’s alone.
F-Fight (do you two ever fight? How big are the fights? What do you fight about? Etc.)
He tends to crack jokes before your fights can escalate into anything too serious. Sometimes it’s intentional, but other times it’s just his personality shining through. And rather than serious fights there’s just a lot of teasing and taunts between the two of you.
If you were to have a serious fight, it would be about both of your safety (As would most fights with any of the One Piece characters).
G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)
More often than not, Shanks finds himself able let go of a LOT of shit. But the one thing he can’t seem to stop feeling guilty about is his failure to show up to Marineford on time. He knows he’s not directly responsible for Ace’s death, but that doesn’t stop the overwhelming guilt. If only he had gotten there a few minutes earlier.
H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)
Coming back to you after each voyage is something he always looks forward to. However, that happiness is short-lived when he realizes he has to leave again in a few weeks. It’s always so painful having to say goodbye again.
I don’t think he would be too different during a break-up. Perhaps he may crack a few less jokes, but other than that, his personality and demeanour when around others remains the same. It isn’t until he’s alone that he lets his smile fall.
I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?)
Undoubtedly, he’d be concerned, but he knows you’ll pull through (you have to pull through). So, after that initial concern has passed, he’ll be feeling all types of pissed off. Whoever, or whatever, injured you will pay – and honestly, he may not even deal the perpetrator himself (his crew is already on it - you are like family to them).
J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)
I honestly think Shanks is just the type of person to just tell you if he’s jealous. But he wouldn’t say “uhh I’m feeling a little jealous” or anything along those lines – no. Instead, Shanks puts on a little pout and does a massive fake sigh until you finally ask him what’s wrong. That’s when he hits you with the “I guess my attention just isn’t enough for you”, and you’re like “HUH?? MF WHAT?” He’s literally such a child HAHA.
But, if there’s one particular person he really does not like you being around and they won’t leave you alone, then he is not at all opposed to just shoving his tongue down your throat right in front of them. That’ll definitely get the message across.
K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)
Shanks may be a goofy and laid-back individual, but he will resort to violence if the situation calls for it. So, it is very likely that Shanks would kill for revenge. Maybe he wouldn’t necessarily do it himself. But, if he orders it, it’ll definitely happen.
L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)
Gol D. Roger’s death was probably one of the greatest losses in Shanks’ life. Roger is the reason Shanks is a pirate today, and young shanks was absolutely broken by his death.
(hard to write much for this one seeing as shanks’ character is still quite a mystery to us!)
M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?)
One time he completely forgot a date night that you spent SO LONG planning. It wasn’t just any date night either. It was a date you planned on his final night before him and his crew had to leave again for a while. You spent hours waiting for to show up, but he was nowhere to be seen. Finally, he showed up at your place, breath reeking of booze. You just looked at him and it hit him (he was like “OH SHIT”). He started apologizing profusely. He didn’t try to make any excuses, he completely owned up to being a shitty boyfriend. But, the moment he knew he had well and truly fucked up was when you just nodded and waved good night to him, wishing him safe travels – you didn’t cry, get visibly angry you just left alone. Shanks knew that was far worse than any yelling.
N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?)
I literally am not joking when I say this but I think Shanks practically drinks till he passes out so even if he were to get nightmares he wouldn’t wake up LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO (ok maybe I am joking with this one but also kind of not).
In all seriousness though, I don’t think Shanks has nightmares very frequently. It’s gotten to the point where any fear or things of that matter that could be nightmares for him, have become so common in his life that he almost finds it not frightening to think about.
O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)
He would get mad at you for placing yourself in unnecessary danger. He’d call you stupid and irresponsible, even though he doesn’t really mean any of those things – it’s just the image of him potentially losing you forever is replaying in his mind and it absolutely terrifies him.
P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)
You saw him get serious serious once before. Like the kind of serious where he uses his conquerors haki and everything. It definitely caused a bit of a change in your relationship as it was terrifying to witness. You’ve always known Shanks was strong and intimidating when needed, but that moment really showed you what it meant when people called him an “emperor of the sea”.
Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?)
Not wanting to openly express his sadness and grief in front of others can be a very unhealthy quality. Shanks doesn’t allow himself good enough opportunities to express him emotions in a safe and healthy manner.
R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around))
(First of all WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO REJECT SHANKS ANYWAY LIKE HUBBA HUBBA I LOVE HIM ANYWHOOOOOOOOO…..) Shanks is the type to just shrug it off. He’d be a little disappointed, bc c’mon the hottest most amazing person he’s ever known just turned him down! But he knows not everything in life goes how you want it to. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and this just happens to be one of the things he’s lost. So ultimately, he’ll just shrug it off. (he will definitely get teased by his crew though).
S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)
Shanks has no self-inflicted wounds. But he does have a scar across his left eye given to him by Blackbeard. He also has a missing arm which he (heroically) sacrificed as he saved lil Luffys life (does a missing arm even count as a scar?)
T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?)
He’s never given you any reason to not trust him. He’s always open and honest with you. Well, as honest as he can be without placing you in any danger. Trust was something needed from the get-go of your relationship because he would be gone for long periods of time. The two of you wouldn’t be able to last without trust.
Oh, also if shanks ever did do anything to break your trust you best believe his crew will beat his ass (especially Benn). You’re family to them.
U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)
My god does he want to see you. He would give his other arm just to be right by your side in an instant. He’s gone for weeks, sometimes months, at a time. Shanks loves his crew, they’re a lively bunch and he trusts them with his life, and vice versa. But they’re not you. They don’t provide him with that same feeling of home that you do. Sure, this could be fixed if he let you join the crew on their journeys, but he absolutely cannot place you in that kind of danger. You’re already in enough danger as it is simply being in a relationship with him.
V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?)
Rather than lashing out at you, Shanks tends to give you the silent treatment. He looks at you without a word and just turns away. He does this in an attempt to make you feel guilty and as if everything is your fault.
W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?)
There isn’t much that makes Shanks feel weak. But, being unable to be near his s/o is one of the few things that does make him feel weak. It’s a constant struggle between wanting to have them around him constantly, but also not wanting to place them in any danger. Ultimately, he decides that not placing them in danger is the better choice, despite how much it pains him.
X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)
Shanks can handle being picked on and ridiculed himself, but he will not tolerate that sort of behaviour towards his friends. The second someone goes after a friend (or someone else he cares about) they are done for.
Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)
LMFAOOOOOO WHY DID MY BRAIN AUTOMATICALLY THINK “his arm back” OOP-
I’M SORRY BUT I LITERALLY CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE OTHER THAN HIS ARM HAHAHAHAHAH
Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)
He’d try to crack a few jokes to at least help you feel better. Other than that, he just tries to make the most of your final moments together.
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aforrestofstuff · 3 years
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Oh fuck it’s been two weeks already uuuhh Chapter 148 expert review time!!
Sorry for skipping out on chapter 147. I was too busy doing nothing.
First off: oh my god it’s normal Garou my sweet boy I haven’t seen you in ages—
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Also a lot of people have been pointing out the height difference in this pic, and I was gonna say that could be attributed to Bang always being hunched over but he’s definitely not hunched over here!! Fucking manlet! Little bitchboy! Googoo gaga bitch! Gonna get his ass beat by an 18 year-old prick while also being short. Pick a struggle, Bang.
Ngl I thought Garou’s irises were tears for a second and I got all up in my shit about it but turns out he’s just cooked out of his fucking mind. I mean, his brain is medium rare at this point. What the fuck is up with him. Why is he standing like that. Why are his feet so skinny??? He’s standing on pogo sticks??
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I thought Garou and Bang’s little dumpster scuffle was pretty cool. Murata’s fights are always really well choreographed and his posing is amazing. Only issue is I kinda thought their inevitable beat-down would be a little more climactic? The story thus far has been pretty plateaued and we haven’t really had a proper buildup towards this moment, I think. It’s just been one fight after another, and so far this feels no different. But, I could be getting too far ahead here. The fight’s just begun, maybe something will happen that’ll shift my opinion. But so far… yeah this seems like just another segment of punches being thrown.
I will say though, I do like Garou’s obvious improvement in this rematch with Bang. It was kind of expected since he’s gone through a lot since the Hero Hunter arc, but seeing him actually land a solid hit on the old fuck was really satisfying. He’s grown! He’s gotten stronger! Good for him! He’s still going to hell for nearly killing Mumen, though. But good for him!
Garou’s nonverbal-ness throughout this fight does bring mixed feelings in me, though. I was kinda looking forward to he and Bang’s banter; like maybe they’ll reveal things about Garou’s past that we didn’t know about or something. A few people have brought up that it could be because Garou’s asleep in this fight like he was with PPP and Darkshine, and if that’s the case then I’m a little disappointed. This confrontation was long overdue, and if Garou’s not even lucid throughout it then that could be a lot of character growth being missed out on. But like I said, it’s still early on. Maybe things will change.
I’m thinking impure thoughts.
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Man what the FUCK is this.
Also, what he says here kinda stung at first. Like, wow, Garou is more teachable when he’s literally a monster that just makes animal noises and doesn’t have any signs of even being lucid?? Made me a little nervous about how Silverfang treated Garou in the past, since he’s kind of treating him as just a vessel of strength right now, not as something that was once human, much less his beloved disciple. I know Silverfang is objectively Not a good teacher or caregiver but I wasn’t expecting him to just disregard Garou like that.
I talked with Kiyoko about it and turns out it’s a bit of a translation error. Silverfang does say that, but it’s with no regards towards younger Garou and more towards how present Garou is a lot more receptive to picking up techniques. So, it’s more just banter and not a “I’m disgracing all the years I’ve taken you under my wing” sorta thing. I’m happy about that. One of the more compelling things about their relationship is the lingering guilt and love Bang still holds for Garou.
EDIT:
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Also I just love the “you twisted punk” line. A lot of the dialogue in the manga is a little eeeehhh sometimes (not at the fault of anybody, by the way. Translations just be like that) but that line just feels so human. Very boomer, very witty, very funny.
So, Amahare and Nichirin are both dead but hey we got a funky lil’ sword and side quest out of it.
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Portal magic, motherfuckers. I thought the use of his necklace for this was really clever.
I’ve said before how I thought the manga was overloaded with deadly situations and yet lacking death, but boy has Murata turned all that shit around. Granted, I still think the heroes have too much plot armor but this is a nice change of pace. Now we got actual blood being shed. Yay.
We had some reveals here, which I thought were cool. Apparently Nichirin was Kamikaze’s teacher, which gives me some feelings. Nichirin was also Spring Mustachio’s teacher, but Spring Mustachio is nowhere near Kamikaze’s level yet. So, Nichirin died before he could see Spring Mustachio become a master, and Spring Mustachio watched his master die without having completed his training. That shit’s fucked! The council of swordsmasters is disbanded, so who the fuck is he gonna have as a teacher now? Is he gonna go under Kamikaze’s wing? Because clearly, we haven’t seen all of that fucker (and his disciples) yet. Now we got a fucking side quest for some gay little sword or something.
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This makes me… kinda excited for Kamikaze’s arc? Like, holy shit we might actually get a decent chunk of the story told around him (and maybe Spring Mustachio if Murata doesn’t forget about him because I certainly did). Idk if this is the best place for this massive lore drop but yay now Kamikaze has a working sword and a life mission to go on once we get up to speed with the webcomic. Also RIP Nichirin, your character was just used for plot progression lmao sucks to suck.
Golden Sperm looks like the shit I took today. I knew this was coming from the webcomic but nothing could’ve prepared me for the actual cyst this dude is.
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Also, his gay little mask or whatever is literally just a face copy of serious Saitama lol. I fucking hate this bitch I want to stick him in some soup broth and whack him against a brick wall until he no longer making a schlorping noise. Anyways.
In conclusion, still stan Bomb because he’s trying his fucking best, even after getting his shit rocked by an 18 year-old edgelord lmao. Also, he didn’t rip his shirt off pre-fight like a fuckboy.
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