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#buckysbabygorl masterlist
stcverogers · 1 year
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DECEMBER FIC RECS!
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fics that i’ve been reading and obsessing with over the month of december
this is extremely important and i take this very seriously out of respect for the community. please do remember to read the rules for the respective blogs before interacting with or reading them.
F: fluff A: angst S: smut
𖥻 - series /multi part
masterlist
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BUCKY BARNES
F: the cupcake guy by @nacho-bucky a friend of a friend caters your niece's birthday party. he's softspoken and a little rough around the edges. you end up dubbing him as the cupcake guy.
F + A: howlin' for you by @invisibleanonymousmonsters 𖥻 when you view the house of your dreams you wonder just how and why it's selling for such a low price. you later find out it's due to the strange behaviours of the biker next door.
F: teacher's favourite by @suitk0via 𖥻 little elaine is your favourite first grader, not that you had favourites or anything. her handsome father tries his best to charm you but unfortunately for him, it didn't seem to be working.
F: mister hockey by @hailhydra920 𖥻 bucky is a typical jock and you try your best to remain unfazed by his sudden interest in you.
F: music to my eyes by @ficsxreaderr 𖥻 sam has been trying to set you and his friend, bucky, up. he's a single dad weaving through life and the last thing you are interested in is a serious relationship.
F + A: bulletproof by @amandaoftherosemire 𖥻 a few years ago in high school, bucky barnes broke your heart. things between the two of you have gone iffy since. will the two of you ever be as close as what you once were?
F + A: feelings are fatal by @sunmoonandeddie 𖥻 with your friends and the people you cared for the most gone, you struggle to carry on with life.
F + A: after all this time by @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky bucky dumped you, the last thing he had to rights to was barge into your home.
F + A: stuck with me by @cherryredmurdock the winter soldier wasn't supposed to have feelings. you teach him otherwise.
F: still get nervous by @trulylostgirl there were very few things that made james barnes nervous. proposing to you, however, send him into a jittery fit.
F + A: on the run by @fanfic-scribbles 𖥻 when you befriended jamess barnes a while ago, you never intended for you to be kidnapped by 1/3 of the avengers and be forced on the run.
F + A: strange times by @beccaanne814 𖥻 you and bucky are sent into the past, having to figure out a way back home.
F + A: some other guy by @espinosaurusrexex bucky can't help but feel upset when he isn't invited to your christmas party.
F + A: your hands have made some good mistakes by @thenhewaswrongaboutme 𖥻 bucky barnes is hired a glorified babysitter and he doesn't like it one bit. as the seasons pass and the weather turns cold, he warms up to the idea.
F + A: i think i met you in my dreams once by @frostironfudge 𖥻 bucky bonds with a girl her met over the internet through pop culture, memes, and stupid jokes.
F: homecoming by @writingshae bucky is home from a long mission and you greet him the way he deserves
F: the act of giving by @mellowsaturns bucky remembers an offhanded comment you make
F + A: work wife by @buckyalpine when bucky's conversations have been centered around his new work wife, insecurities arise.
F + A: wild by @bucky-fricking-barnes 𖥻 a beautiful white wolf has been there for y/n throughout her times in need, now, the wolf is in need of her help.
F + A: things more intimate than sex by @hopelessromantic423 relationships mean much more than physical intimacy, yours and bucky's is no different.
F: uncle buck by @enchantedbarnes your nephew becomes your wingman at a convention
F + A: more than business by @world-of-aus bucky retracts his previously terrible behaviour and becomes a regular customer
A: punching bag by @buckysbabygorl bucky has had enough of you constantly putting yourself in danger
F + A: don't leave me by @ambling-rambling in the midst of an argument, you don't know where you and bucky lie
F + A: almost believing by @intrepidacious a mission is a mission and you and bucky have to suck it up this time. it isn't easy pretending to be married to him when you're in a tough spot in your friendship with bucky.
S: cuffin' season by @sinner-as-saint it's cuffin' season and the only thing you're looking for is a big boy.
A + S: pretty when you cry by @bellasburdens warning: dead dove: do not eat
F: side effects by @delaber the side effects from the super soldier serum feel awfully alot like falling in love
F + A: always by @jadedvibes 𖥻 it took you and bucky your last day together to finally admit your feelings for one another.
F: heat on high by @tom-holland-parker 𖥻 your firefighting neighbour grows a soft spot for you and your daughter.
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STEVE ROGERS
F + A: wolf creek by @beccaanne814 𖥻 yours and steve's relationship didn't end on a good note. tensions are high when you return to wolf creek years later.
F + A: aurora by @prettyyoungtragedy 𖥻 steve rogers allows you to discover who you truly are.
A: black and blue by @the-mighty-jellybean 𖥻 steve rogers is a damn good doctor with a heart of gold. when a young woman is sent to the hospital under suspicious circumstances, he is determined to ensure that she is safe.
F: save me by @captainrogers-ass 𖥻 being the newest recruit amongst the lifegaurd team on midgard beach, it takes some buttering up from the rest of the crew.
F: mess with them by @redgillan 𖥻 how each of your friends found out about your relationship with steve.
F + A: tear in my heart by @prettyyoungtragedy 𖥻 steve was your best friend, nothing more. you end up being his fake date to a wedding and you struggle to hide your feelings from him.
F + A: my best friend's girl by @mywritingsblog 𖥻 with bucky gone, you and steve cross a few lines.
F: the senses of steve by @rogersideup 𖥻 how steve fell in love with you, retold by the five senses.
F + A: matilda rose by @christycurlswrites 𖥻 how you and steve co-parent to raise your wonderful daughter.
F + A: dirty secret by @nifolution 𖥻 your relationship is hanging by the thread as you struggle to keep it a secret.
F + A: mrs captain by @welldonebeca 𖥻 your life with steve as you go through the phases in life.
F + A: walking the wire by @pedrito-friskito captain rogers is far too interested in the team's newest avenger.
F + A: love triangle by @beccaanne814 steve rogers struggles to move on from the woman from his past
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PETER PARKER
F + A: crush + wait a minute, who are you? by @webslingingslasher in which peter parker learns how being spider man can put a strain on his personal relationships.
F + A: a lesson in do-overs by @literaila lovers, to exes, to friends, to friend-lovers, to friends, to lovers?
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AARON HOTCHNER
F + A: sick of maybe by @luveline the five times aaron hotchner hid your relationship from the BAU and the one time he embraced it.
F: sweeter than fiction by @hotchgirlsummer you and jack work together to bake hotch a cake that is nothing as sweet as you.
F + A: reckless by @ptersparkers despite the contributions you have made to the BAU in the past years, hotch still feels a sense of animosity towards you and you can't seem to figure out why
F: heart eyes by @lomlhotchner you surprise hotch at the office with lunch
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lokidokieokie · 1 year
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Fic Recs
Hey guys! Below the cut, you’ll find my fic recs for the weeks of the 16/01 - 29/01
beware there are a few because of this :)
Loki Laufeyson
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RTC: Stay with Me by @muddyorbsblr 
For Better or Worse by @wheredafandomat masterlist linked
Little Miss Mischief by @psychospore 
Moments of Magic by @sarahscribbles 
Hot & Cold by @wheredafandomat part 1 linked
Practice Makes Perfect by @simplyholl part 1 linked
Crossed Swords by @lokisgoodgirl
Drugs of Love, Love of Drugs by @pics-and-fanfics masterlist linked
Rest, Darling by @fictive-sl0th 
Miss You by @michelleleewise 
A Beacon of Light by @psychospore 
Bad Blood by @pics-and-fanfics part 1 linked
Of the Birds and the Bees by @holdmytesseract 
The Curse of Your Love by @wheredafandomat 
Special Treat by @marvelslittlewhore 
Secret in the Royal Library by @psychospore 
Crossed Swords: To the Hilt by @lokisgoodgirl 
Keep the Faith by @theaudacitytowrite 
Arrogance Incarnate by @lucky-bucky-boy 
In a Different Light by @psychospore 
Never Gonna Get it by @wheredafandomat​ 
The Secret by @bonky-n-steeb​ 
Poison & Wine by @hela-avenger​ masterlist linked
Stephen Strange + his Variants
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Congratulations to Us by @withalittlehoney 
Too Tired by @ironstrange1991 
Tied Together by @withalittlehoney​ 
Sherlock
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Corrupted Evidence by @bakerstreethound 
Darling You Taste Devine by @strangelockd 
Bucky Barnes
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More Than Anythin’ by @wheredafandomat 
Nemesis by @wheredafandomat 
Twelfth Floor by @wheredafandomat 
Dirty Little Secret by @buckybabesonly 
Almost Believing by @intrepidacious 
My Girlfriend, The Worm by @vivwritesfics
Dog Tags by @vxntagedior 
Flash Bang by @crushedbyhyperbole 
Untitled by @buckyalpine 
Wait, What? by @buckyalpine part 1 linked
Mr Barnes, Teacher Aide of the Year by @soulgazingwithbucky 
Punching Bag by @buckysbabygorl 
Bucky Has a Girlfriend? by @sweetbuckybarnes 
The Bet by @wkemeup 
What’s Yours is Mine by @navybrat817 
Little Lavender Friend by @thepsychewrites 
The Museum by @subwaysurf45 series masterlist linked
Lessons in Love. by @violentdelightsandviolentends 
Protector by @vxntagedior 
Are You Mine by @marvelouslizzie 
All Things Pink by @bucky-barnes-diaries 
Bucky Barnes x Rogers!Reader by @itsapeterthing​ masterlist linked
Beyond the Moon, Upon the Sea by @bbyboybucket​ 
Tenure Track by @disturbedbydesign​ 
Just One Kiss by @sarahwroteathing​ masterlist linked
Victim Behind the Gun by @seventven​ 
Tempestuous by @sinner-as-saint​ part 1 linked
Honey, There is No Right Way by @bonky-n-steeb​ part 1 linked
Until His Last Breath by @witchywithwhiskey​ 
All the King’s Men by @nastybuckybarnes​ part 1 linked
Parent Teacher Conference by @coffeecatsandcandles​ part 1 linked
Moon Knight Boys
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Moon Struck by @softlyspector part 1 linked
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A/N In case you cannot tell, I’ve re-entered by Bucky Barnes phase :)
And, as per usual, please show all these fabulous authors your support by commenting and reblogging their amazing fics!
See you next week! (hopefully, if I don’t forget again)
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VelvetCardiganBucky’s Recomendations 2021: Week 3 | January 10-16
Welcome to week 3 of my recommendation, if you would like to be featured on a future list, I follow the hashtag #ktkvcbreadinglist, message me, tag me in your future works, or reblog this post and link to your story, one-shot, Masterlist, writing challenge, etc.
Be aware some if not most stories and writers on this list are meant to be consumed by an audience of those 18+. My blog is also an 18+ blog.
«Last Week
Week 4»
My Masterlist
Andy Barber
One-Shot’s
Imagine by @worksby-d • Andy Barber x Reader – Reader takes their chances teasing and tempting Andy, but he can only take so much. | Really good smut.
Good little girl by @donutloverxo • Mob!Andy Barber x Reader — Married life isn’t always easy. Will you be able to solve your problems? (Part 1) | Let me just say the first part sort of darkish but not really? Also I can’t help but read Mob!Andy anything.
Ransom Drysdale
One-Shots
Introducing Chaos by @the-iceni-bitch • Ransom Drysdale x fem!Reader — Ransom brings you to your first Thrombey family dinner, and you make a splash | I laughed so much while reading this and the smut was so good. It’s a really good read.
Drabbles
Playing Games by @just-one-ordinary-fangirl • Ransom Drysdale x Reader — Ransom, the man you loved, did the unforgivable. You confront him about it. | This left me wanting more so badly.
Chris Evans
One-Shot’s
Tonight’s Show by @theblvckvenus • Chris Evans x Fem!Reader — You come home to surprise Chris and his interviewer. But the excitement gets him the better of him and as soon as its over you’re in big trouble. | Came for the show definitely stayed for the smut ;)
Drabbles
Stranger on the Train by @carpediemm-18 • Chris Evans x Female!Reader — Chris comes to the aide of the reader on a late night subway ride. | Sweet and Short
Steve Rogers
Amorosa by @honeysucklesteve • Sugar Daddy!Steve x SugarBaby!Reader — you were drowning, barely surviving in new york city working at an upscale restaurant; the only thing keeping you barely afloat. when steve rogers, vp of stark industries, overhears your troubles, he proposes an agreement that’ll benefit the both of you. should you take it and suffer the consequences is up to you. | I have a huge weakness for Sugar Daddy fics, don’t ask me why but I do. This does not disappoint and it’s got some really good smut in it. Thank you Eleanor!
Bucky Barnes
The Winter Ghost by @msmarvelwrites • Bucky Barnes x Reader — A Devastating car crash causes you to lose your memory and start over. The only thing left in the wreckage was the horrific nightmares which plagued your mind. If you knew what today would entail you would have just stayed in bed. But you didn’t and because of that, everything you knew was about to change. | Get yourself some tissues because you will cry. Brontë wrote the smut moments perfectly that it flowed with the the rest of the chapters so perfectly. Nothing felt rushed, the story was just so perfect.
Picking Up the Pieces [1/3] by @gogolucky13 • Bucky Barnes x Reader — Bucky chooses to stay in his tumultuous relationship knowing you’ll be there to pick up the pieces, until finally you’re not. [Modern AU] | For anyone who has ever felt like they were the second best, this is for you. I teared up while reading. Looking forward to see where this goes.
A Favor [1/?] by @buckysbabygorl • Bucky Barnes x Reader — After breaking up with her boyfriend; Y/N drunkenly admits to the team that she’s never had sex. Not only is she single, but she’s looking. | If you are looking for a laugh, this is the place to go, I’m excited to see where this goes.
One-Shot’s
Teacher’s Pet by @nastybuckybarnes [Dark Fic] • AlphaProfessor!Bucky x Omega!Reader x AlphaProfessor!Steve — The perfect omega doesn’t exist, right? Well, Steve and Bucky think they might’ve just found her in the form of one of their students. And they’re not gonna stop until they have her begging beneath them. | Okay this is such a good A/B/O one-shot. Like it’s got the little bit stuff you need instead of just jumping straight into the good stuff. Which isn’t bad, but sometimes a little bit of a burn, is so good. I highly recommend.
The Thought That Counts by @imerdwarf • Bucky Barnes x Reader — Reader offers to brush Bucky’s hair | All the fluffy fluffy-ness you could want or need.
On His Shoulder by @whateveriwant • Bucky Barnes x Reader — Five separate occasions in which Bucky tells you to put something on his shoulder. | A one-shot that made me wish I was somebodies Jack to somebodies ass. In all honesty Sam does a magnificent job giving reader a nickname and making this one-shot so unbelievably good. You got some laughs, some fluffs, and some smut.
Till The End Of The Line by @chanelsebbie • Bucky Barnes x Reader — You and Bucky go on a mission together to hopefully put a dent in H.Y.D.R.A., but things don’t go as planned. | Shaye how dare you, I cried, this is just so beautifully written and I just want more. Like I was waiting to see more and have him come back. I couldn’t make a link for this one-shot don’t know why, so here you all go.
Drabbles
Boob Move by @nano--raptor • Bucky Barnes x Reader — Y/N falls asleep with her boob hanging out on Bucky’s couch | I’ve never read something so funny yet hot all at once.
Drops of Jupiter by @imerdwarf • Bucky Barnes x Reader – Bucky has a nightmare and you find him on the rooftop looking up at the stars. | All The Fluff!
Lee Bodecker
One Shots
505 by @captain-barnes-writes • Dark!Lee Bodecker x Reader — On her summer break from college, Y/N embarks on an affair with Lee Bodecker. But she realizes that not all that drips from his lips is honey. | If you are looking for some dark Lee Bodecker, but I mean it’s Lee.. with some of angst thrown in and some smut, this one-shot is for you!
Misc.
Drabbles
I See You by @sevans-is-my-weakness • Colin Shea x TJ Hammond x F!Reader — TJ Hammond is your roommate and Colin Shea is your guys neighbor. | Short read that I enjoyed but I suggest also reading through this masterlist, there’s so much I want to share!
Writers
@bbonkyy - is one of my all time favorite writers but I could be bias as we are friends. I know they haven’t published in a really long time but they still deserve some recognition. They do take request, trust me they write some amazing smut! *chefs kiss*
@nsfwsebbie - Please please please do yourself a favor and check out Sabrina’s concepts masterlist, dark fics, and masterlist, I’m slowly making my way through them. Sabrina has got some writing talent in them and I love reading what they put out!
@mypoisonedvine - Looking for an eclectic collection of characters and different choices to choose from? j.d. has you covered with their stories. I love their writing, the dark, the fluffy and smut.
Writing Challenges:
Mostly a Milestone Writing Challenge hosted by @mostly-marvel-musings | What you need to know: You can write for celebrities but they have to be from the MCU or you can write for MCU characters. You do not have to reserve a spot in this challenge. OFC’s, any pairing, AU is welcome. The due date as of right now is the end of 2021 and the theme is... Romance Movies
Shout Out To My...
@redhead-wine-and-literature-club — Mods Scarlett and Ruby say they read and write fanfiction usually with a glass a wine to go with it. They are pairing characters (Steve and Bucky) Sebastian and Chris have played with wines. In February they’ll have daily prompt challenges. You can check out the club's welcome post here!
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babybluereads · 3 years
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Favourite Authors🥰
not that I don't love every single author that I reblog, BUT these are my go-to rereads when it comes to their entire masterlists! because I am but an anxious adhd-ridden creature of habit so I rarely read new shit lol hehe anyways, happy reading loves🤗😘
@buckysbabygorl
@wkemeup
@softlybarnes
@bitsandbobsandstuff
@captain-kelli
@sebbytrash
@samingtonwilson
@nacho-bucky
@jobean12-blog
@mymoonagedaydream
@pellucid-constellations
@angrythingstarlight
@ugh-supersoldiers
@drabblewithfrannybarnes
@divine-mistake
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Okay besties. I’m way out date on fics I’ve read and reblogged because (a) I read so many of my favorites before I understood how reblogs worked and didn’t have a place to put them (basically anything I read before February) and (b) I finally started tagging things in a way that makes some kind of sense.
So to my moots, I’m gonna start by working through your masterlists over the next couple weeks. So expect feedback coming to you 💕
Tagging you here so you don’t think I’m spamming you: @belladonnabarnes @fragile-heartt @divine-mistake @babycap @saiyanprincessswanie @msmarvelwrites @apocxlypticangel @sweeterthanthis @mareli-carter @bucksbestgirl @kalesrebellion @221bshrlocked @wkemeup @gogolucky13 @tuiccim @buckysbabygorl @mallowswriting
I have a few other blog favorites that I’ll be sure to hit as well. And if anyone has fic recs, please send them my way too. I’d love to have them on my blog and in my tags.
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buckysbabygorl · 2 years
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Praise
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Summary: Part 2 of Blunt, Bucky decides to take a different approach.
Word Count: 1.5k
Part 3
One might call it a glimmer of hope.
Sam, however, might call it a goddamn miracle.
Look so good that I’d ride your thighs every day of the week, and twice on Sunday.
The recollection made Bucky lightheaded, nearly nauseous.
It felt like fantasy, were those words muttered by those divine lips?
Is it possible that Bucky wasn’t completely hallucinating?
Y/N said it.
She said it.
Look so good that I’d ride your thighs every day of the week, and twice on Sunday.
Why couldn’t they have transcripts of their meetings? Weren’t audio recordings a thing nowadays?
If only he could hear it again.
Again, and again, and again.
It had been two weeks.
He was in havoc.
It was desperate, it was pathetic, it was submissive but lord almighty, not an ounce of his soul could provide a single fuck. He wanted to hear it again.
He was on the verge of misbehaving.
When it came to her, when was he not?
The man was nearly on his knees in her presence.
He had been since the moment they met, and the urge had only grown stronger since she uttered that sentence.
It truly was worse.
Because now Bucky knew he stood a chance.
Everyone knew it was a one in a million occurrence, Y/N was not the type to ever let that behavior slip more than once.
Most men would have taken the situation as it was, a fortune no other person would have been lucky to have.
Y/N admitted he was attractive, that should’ve been enough.
Except it wasn’t.
He was selfish, he wanted more.
So he decided to be careful. He had been going about this all wrong, he learnt from his mistakes. 
He laid low, controlling his flirtatious desires. He was cordial, appropriate, he hadn’t laid a single line similar to the ones he had that fateful day.
It was weeks.
The team was surprised. They figured he’d got his fill, his school boy crush satiated after the less than professional debriefing. In their eyes, the pining had finally ended.
They were wrong.
General Thaddeus E. "Thunderbolt" Ross was, technically, the Avengers’ superior. He was not seen as part of the team, or authentically respected, but there was an agreed upon professionalism the team would give to Ross.
Y/N, was especially apt to maintaining a courteous and serious conversation with Ross, which was her current goal for the meeting today.
They were discussing innovation strategy.
Well, innovation strategy on behalf of Tony Stark.
Y/N wanted to be seen as an equal with Tony, not just his liaison.
The Avengers did, however Ross did not.
It shouldn’t have been necessary, but the team decided to back her up on this one.
The meeting with Ross went as it usually did; undermining Y/N every chance he could, interrupting consistently, and incorrectly over explaining in areas that Y/N had vast knowledge in.
The team was fuming.
Y/N showed minimal phasement.
They all vouched for Y/N when they could, insisting that Tony was fully confident in Y/N’s capabilities.
But Ross was an ass, asking over and over to speak to Stark directly.
Until Barnes spoke up.
“General.”
The word was directed with an assertive tone, three syllables commanding the room almost instantly.
“Agent L/N has been patient with you. Frankly, I won’t be. We all know Tony isn’t against speaking up for himself. If Agent L/N is here on his behalf, it isn’t because he doesn’t feel up to speaking his part. It’s because Agent L/N is far better at explaining it than he is. In fact, I’d say she is better at developing and communicating Stark’s ideas than he is.”
He could feel her eyes on him. 
That familiar feeling, of being seen through and understood in the intelligent way that Y/N could. 
It had encompassed him many times. Sure, not when it came to his flirtations, but when he discussed battle, when the team argued over morale, when logistics and rationale came into play, Y/N was the one that held the head of the table. 
Y/N knew when someone was full of shit. Y/N knew when someone was blinded by their own biases. Y/N knew when someone was telling the truth.
And now, in this moment, by that intense stare Bucky felt ripple over his skin, he knew that Y/N knew, he meant every word.
The group remained silent, not out of fear, but out of respect. Bucky was right.
She squared her shoulders, she held Ross’s eye as if it were fragile glass in the palm of her hand. Breakable. Disposable.
“Sergeant Barnes is right, General Ross. I would not be here if I didn’t fully understand Tony’s intentions and direction with this team. I don’t expect that you doubt this, that would be extremely foolish. You agree, of course.”
Ross issued some form of agreement, implying that of course he knew she was capable and of course she was beyond intelligent and understanding.
He would’ve been an idiot not to acknowledge it now.
The meeting summed up rather quickly after that; Ross thanking the group and giving a quick dismissal.
The team filed out shortly afterwards. Except for Y/N and Bucky.
She adjusted her glasses, noting more on her tablet as the group dispersed.
Bucky texted Steve, relaying both the important information and the gossip.
Ross was an ass as usual, but the project is a go. Be there in 30 - Bucky
Steve quickly responded.
Figures, but at least we have the greenlight. Also, stop signing off your texts. I know it’s you, punk.
Bucky went to make his leave, his fingers on the door handle.
“Don’t.”
He didn’t freeze. He obeyed.
He figured it would have grabbed her attention.
He was vocal enough with the team, but higher authority is where Bucky usually opted out of speaking. He knew well and good he wasn’t in their good graces, more often than not he chose to stay silent to keep the peace.
He didn’t expect his change in behavior would go unnoticed, not by the team. Especially not by her.
He turned.
Her eyes stayed on her tablet as she finished typing. She tucked her pen swiftly behind her ear, stowing away her notebook and tech in her bag, and she swiveled in her seat to face him.
One leg crossing the other, a hand removing her glasses and tucking them in her shirt pocket, she stared through him.
A week ago, Bucky would’ve melted at her attention. This Bucky didn’t shutter.
“I didn’t need you to do that.” She said.
Bucky nodded.
“I know.”
Y/N tilted her head, a finger placed purposefully on her cheek as she analyzed him.
She hummed.
“You do know.” 
She smirked, rising from her seat and approaching him slowly. Bucky gulped, his steely reserve slowly faltering with every step she took.
She reached up to straighten his collar, and Bucky thanked his past self for deciding not to wear a tie, knowing that the feeling of her hands’ hypothetical tightening of it would have taken every semblance of breath from his body.
She toyed with the collar’s button, eyes piercing through his pulse point.
“So, why?” She asked.
Bucky cleared his throat, urging himself to do something bold. Something more than just standing like a fool.
“Y/N...”
He looked at her glasses, plucking them from her shirt pocket, which was interestingly within his near reach.
He pulled the neatly folded handkerchief from his own shirt pocket, using it to delicately wipe a fingerprint off her lens.
“... we are far from deserving you. And even though you know that, and the rest of us know that...”
He placed the clean glasses back into her pocket, finally meeting her eye.
“I think every once in awhile, you need to really hear it. Especially when it counts.”
Quiet settled between them. Neither shifted from their stance, and Y/N simply observed.
Bucky then folded his cloth square into its original form, settling it back into his pocket. He hadn’t broken eye contact once during.
He smirked softly, “Don’t you agree?”
She didn’t blush. Her lips didn’t quirk, her gaze never faltered from his nor her shoulders shift in tension.
But Bucky was smart, perceptive...
When you’re careful enough to look for the changes, you see them.
And with sharp eyes and the blessing of super soldier hearing, Bucky was sure not to miss the dilating of her pupils and the near missable quickening of a pulse.
“I do.” She said.
She moved past him, in an abrupt way, one might have called it rude.
One might call it a glimmer of hope.
Sam, if he was as perceptive as Barnes, might call it a goddamn miracle.
As she went to leave the room, she gently spoke over her shoulder.
“In my opinion, Sergeant Barnes...”
Bucky had to rally for composure, the sultry composition she made of his rank and his surname never failing to make him weak.
“...praise is always beneficial in encouraging team morale.”
~
Taglist: @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable
@dumb-ass-3
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buckysbabygorl · 3 years
Note
Hello! Idk if you’re currently accepting requests right now and if you aren’t, feel free to ignore or delete this! If you are, I would like to request a fluff oneshot with the reader (who possesses the ability to fly with wings) is practicing with their ability outside of the avengers compound one afternoon and standing in the field is Bucky, just watching them with pure adoration. 🥺
I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR THE LENGTH OF THIS REQUEST 😭
Flight Risk
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Word Count: 1.7k
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Masterlist
~
“MOTHER FUCKER!”
Y/N fell once again as she took lift off.
At least she had manage a few feet this time.
Holy hell was this hard.
She looked to the clouds from her position in the grass, admiring the fluffy clusters above her. When she was younger, her mother told her they were made of the fallen feathers of angel wings, accumulating in soft mounds throughout the sky.
She reached to touch the end of her own wings, though they weren’t white, she liked to think that’s what the clouds above her felt like.
She knew they didn’t, in fact they didn’t feel like anything. Just cold, moist. Or so she had been told. She hadn’t felt them herself yet.
Her wings hadn’t been operational that long ago: DNA splicing experimentation and strenuous surgery had only produced these miraculous appendages on a  whim, she had been the only successful subject. There could have been more, but thankfully the Avengers stepped in once hearing that Zola’s previous experimentation had influenced a small group of mad scientists to use similar technologies. Kidnapping thousands of travellers throughout the decades and only recently been finding themselves successful in their results. They attempted to give people gills, fins, horns, hooves... and in Y/N’s case, wings.
They couldn’t send Y/N back into society; they knew she wouldn’t be accepted or be able to live a normal life. She was free to return to civillian life if she chose, but the team made her aware that she was more than welcome to join them.
So she did.
She surprisingly had proved herself to be a usefull asset, wings aside. She was strong, fast, cunning, high above the rest (both literally and metaphorically). She was a superhero now.
But unfortunately, she had no capabality of flying.
“I can teach you,” Sam said, “It’s not that difficult.”
“Your wings don’t count,” Y/N said, “Yours are mechnical. Mine are natural.”
“Well, as natural as science experiments can be.” Bruce said.
“Shut it,” she teased.
Technology aside, Sam had seemed like the only one with somewhat similar experiences to teach her some minor details.
He gave her the basics, but she was alone now.
Huffing, she lifted herself from the ground and dusted her clothes off. She shook out her wings, adjusting her shirt so that they didn’t bunch at the shoulders.
“Come on, you got this. Just bend, brace, expand, flap--”
She tried again, shooting up with wings narrowed. She then unfurled them as she rose higher into the air, but as another gust of wind came she found herself faltering and tumbling back down.
Bucky took out his earbuds as he jogged by. He hadn’t noticed her before, adjusting to the early morning hadn’t left him very observant of his surroundings. He watched as her wings spread, her eyes on the sky above. He couldn’t help but chuckle as she struggled to stay up, frustration scrunching her face.
“You okay? He called out.
She rested her hands on her knees, looking up at the voice. A small smile breaking her thoughts as she realized who it was.
“Yeah.” She called back.
He jogged to her place in the open field, slowing as he neared her and stuffing his hands in his pockets.
“Flight practice?” He asked.
“Not really,” she said as she crossed her legs, “It’s more ‘breaking for impact’ practice at this point.”
He laughed softly, bending to sit beside her as she checked her knees for scrapes.
“I take it Sam didn’t really give you the best advice.” He said, reaching out to run his thumb over a small bruise on her shin.
She sighed, “Well his heart’s in the right place but--we’ve got different mechanics. I don’t think he can relate to this. Not that many people can...”
She ran the back of her hand along the length of her wings, flicking upwards as she reached their soft end point.
Bucky admired the light brown color of her wings, reminding him of the sparrows that sometimes stopped on the windowsill of his bedroom. 
He was never really subtle with his staring, Sam had actually labelled it as his biggest problem. She wasn’t an exception to that; he often found his eyes chasing after her as she exited rooms, her expansive wings encompassing her figure. 
“One day she’s gonna catch you staring,” Sam warned, “you better hope she doesn’t kick your ass. She could get the wrong idea...”
Bucky didn’t like that her phrased it that way; as if he was gawking at her. He wasn’t looking at her like she was some freak, or a circus sideshow. It was more like... admiration.
She was beautiful.
He thought she was beautiful.
If anyone had taken a glimpse into his mind, it would be easy to understand that he wasn’t looking only because the wings were breathtaking, he felt she was too.
“Can I?” He asked.
His hand was held out in a loose open palm, just above the bed of feathers.
She nodded, and he ran his knuckles slowly along the length in the same way she had before.
They tickled slightly, the nerve endings in his fingers seemed to buzz. His hand shook slightly as he flicked upwards at the point, and she giggled quietly.
“It tickles when you do it.” She said.
He smiled, “Same here.”
He gently picked at blades of grass that had stuck to her wings,  “How long have you been out here?”
She looked up at the sun, noting its change in height.
“A few hours I think. I didn’t want anyone to see.”
“Well, sorry for the intrusion then.” 
She shrugged, “It’s alright. I like having you around.”
A blush creeped up his cheeks, and he ducked his head more, pretending to really focus on pulling out grass.
“So--uh, where do you think you’re going wrong?”
She chuckled at his bluntness, only further embarrassing Bucky.
“I don’t know. In my lift off I can’t make it stick. It just doesn’t feel natural.”
“Alright”, Bucky wasn’t sure how to help her, it wasn’t like he had any personal experience himself. “Well, what does feel natural?”
“What do you mean?”
He leaned back to lie on the grass, hands cradling his head as he looked up.
“I guess--I mean, when you look at birds, they just start flapping. That’s natural for them. Humans don’t fly; Sam’s wings are mechanical…”
Y/N realized early on in their relationship that Bucky had a tendency to ramble; though he liked when others were “to the point”, he lacked that quality himself. But she knew if she was patient, he’d get there eventually. And truthfully, she quite enjoyed listening to his tangents.
“...so Sam’s advice is based off what the wings are designed to do. Maybe you need to try testing it out the natural way. Move your wings in a way that feels right. Does that make sense?”
No, it didn’t.
But she smiled anyway, “Kind of. Like, don’t think about it and see where my body takes me?”
He chuckled, “That’s a weird way to phrase it, but yeah, something like that.”
Suddenly she stood up, making Bucky jump slightly.
She was no longer looking at him, only closing her eyes and expanding her wings.
He liked that she was a “0 to 100” type of person, out of nowhere she’d get an idea and then it was all action.
She let the wind ripple through her feathers, and she tried to gauge the current off her wings.
Don’t think about it… what feels right?
She couldn’t put it into words; but as she focused on her surroundings, feeling the breeze… some kind of instinct came over her.
Wait…
Bucky intently watched as she inhaled; steading herself as her wings unfurled.
Wait…
As the sun gleamed behind her, leaving him completely consumed in her shadow. 
It was breathtaking.
Her eyes snapped open.
Now.
The sudden flap of her wings threw Bucky back, the hard beat shooting her upwards and leaving him in the grass.
Each stride she took was with purpose, and before they knew it she was flying higher than she ever had before.
Bucky stood, laughing and smiling in awe as she soared along the current.
The wind roared in her ears, so loud she could barely hear her own laughter.
She was amazed, she was flying.
She let the wind pull her, ducking her wings and shooting off in another direction.
Bucky spun around in circles as she flew around him, trying to catch her figure against the blinding sunlight.
He was dizzy, but he couldn’t take his eyes off her.
“Jesus Christ,” he said to himself. He cupped his hands over his mouth to amplify his voice, “You’re flying!” He screamed.
“I’m fucking flying!” She screamed back.
Just wait ‘til Sam saw this.
But then she got cocky, dipping further than she should’ve.
She caught a draft that clipped her wing.
It was too late to catch herself before she was fluttering to the ground.
“Shit!” She screamed.
“Shit.” Bucky muttered.
He started running in her direction, arms reaching out like he was catching a football.
“I’ve got you,” he cried, “I’ve got you!”
He caught her just in time, bracing for impact as they both crashed into the ground.
Hair windswept and cheeks red, Y/N screamed out in happiness.
“Oh my god, did you see that? Did you see me?”
He couldn’t help but laugh and shake his head as she dramatically recounted the experience, his arms firmly holding her against him.
“And then I was like whoosh and the wind came and it was like AHH and then--”
She was cut off by his lips on hers.
His lips were soft, his touch surprisingly gentle for such a gruff man…
Her eyes closed and she pressed further into him, deepening the kiss.
He pulled away, leaving her more shocked than the flight had.
“I’m sorry,” He started, “It’s just--”
He looked into her eyes, unable to explain it all. How could he? She was just...
“--I think you’re amazing.”
She smiled back at him, “Oh I’ll show you amazing.”
Her hands wrapped around his collar as she pulled him back in for another kiss.
Bucky would have to remind himself to interrupt flight practice more often...
~
I hope you enjoyed @halietigges this request was so fun to make!
Taglist: @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @dumb-ass-writer @cuddlycalcifer @babyblue-07 @babybluereads @lonewolf471 @emmabarnes @niiight-dreamerrrr @julipmoon @fandomsfallnomore @elliee1497 @godspeedlover @sexwithhiddlesbatch @annestine @shower-me-with-roses @yougottalovefandoms @rebekahdawkins
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buckysbabygorl · 3 years
Text
Scars
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
Word count: 6.8k
Warnings: angst, scarring, injury, language, smut
Summary: Y/N has a secret, which unfortunately gets revealed to the person she hates the most.
Dedicated to: @fandomsfallnomore​, thank you for being so patient on this request <3
They had lost track of time; not knowing how long they had sat there, but aware it had been for hours into the night. 
The team wasn’t coming back anytime soon, neither of them were sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 
Bucky thought if they showed up; they could convince her to come out, but that would just make things worse.
Y/N hoped if the others came, they could get Bucky out of her room. But if they wanted to know what was happening... what could she possibly say?
Y/N’s head rested between her knees as she crouched on the bathroom floor, head pounding as she tried to think of a plan. She was panicking, angry with herself for messing up. He was on the verge of finding out.
Though wearing the mask of an being an open book came easy enough; she had a strict psyche. Be closed off, be protective. Let them see what you want them to.
Bucky sat in the same position on the other side, silently picking at strands of carpet as he waited for her to speak.
It wasn’t like her to act this way.
Yeah, she avoided him at all costs, but seeing her this desperate, this panicked... whatever it was, it meant more to her than she let on, especially if it had never come up before.
“Y/N, come on.” He started. “You could be bleeding out.”
She scoffed at the statement. “A little dramatic, don’t you think Barnes?”
He rolled his eyes, always sarcasm with her. 
“Fine, maybe not. But you know it’s not nothing. You’re hurt.”
Bucky’s right thumb ran over his metal fingers, hands clasped loosely in front of him as he shifted in his spot. He could feel the aches settling in his body; the day was taking its toll on him now. He was tired. They were both tired. But neither of them were going to give. Part of him wanted to barrel down the door, but he knew she would never forgive him for that.
Their relationship was strained enough as it is, he didn’t need to make that worse.
“You can’t just sit here, you can’t fix it by yourself.”
He heard her deep inhales and exhales, but she made no other response.
He tilted his head back against the door, boredly admiring the details of the ceiling. Intricate vintage framework, installed by Tony himself. It was unlike Stark’s modern design, but Bucky guessed he’d made an excpetion for Y/N. He had a soft spot for her after all.
Everyone did.
He closed his eyes as another wave of exhaustion hit. His body was cramped with anxiety, aching from sitting in his place for so long.
This was a shit of a situation.
Bucky could understand why she wanted him out; he had never been overly nice to her. He was an abrasive, aggressive sort of man. But he was better now, at least better than who he had been before. Or so he thought—was he still that same monster? It wasn’t his intention to be that way towards her, it just developed over time with their relationship. He pissed her off and she drove him crazy. So yes, he understood. But he needed her to put that aside for her own sake.
Barnes broke the silence.
“Look,” He grumbled, “I didn’t mean to handle you like that. I should’ve reacted better.” He rembered his hands on her arm, the way he spoke to her. No questions, just commanding.
“I know I’m the last person you want to touch you, but you’re gonna have to let it go this time. Please.”
A soft laugh came from behind the door, confusing him. 
“Trust me Barnes, that’s not the problem.”
He turned to the wood separating them, glaring as if she could see him from the other side. What was the issue, then? If he didn’t matter, why would she care what he saw? If he did matter—
“—Then you should let me help you.” 
She stayed quiet, rising from her spot and pacing the floor. Bucky grew frustrated with each step she made. The soft padding of her feet like a ticking clock. Step, step, step, step
“Fuck,” he said, “Is it really that bad that you’d rather bleed alone in the middle of the night? I’m here because I care; so whatever it is I’m not gonna be a dick about it. I mean-” he shook his head, “It’s not like I’ll tell anybody or-”
Y/N whipped the door open, Bucky tumbled back into the bathroom.
He looked up at her from the floor; puffy cheeks and tired eyes stared back at him. He rolled up onto his knees as she stood in the doorway, her hands in tense grip on the trim. She tucked her bottom lip tightly under her teeth, hesitating.
He rose up from the floor, standing closely in front of her as he met her eye. He hoped she would trust him, and not send him away. Could she see it in his face? How much he meant it?
“You promise you won’t tell anyone?”
~
Y/N had sustained a minor injury after her last mission. 
It didn’t cross her mind that it could be more than a scratch; she’d healed from worse, hadn’t she?
Then the bleeding wouldn’t stop, soaking through the bandages and clinging to the fabric of her shirt. 
She sat in her room, legs shaking as she twiddled her thumbs. She couldn’t reach it herself, she’d already tried that. Which meant she needed someone to help.
But she didn’t want anyone to see…
She rested her head in her hands, massaging her temples as she tried to make a decision. 
Everyone was asleep; but even if someone was awake, how badly did she need help? Did it really warrant showing that part of herself? She was a super; she could handle a little blood loss. But she knew it wouldn’t get any better sitting alone in her room.
The longer she sat, she could feel the sticky warmth of the injury leaking through her patchwork bandage.
What am I gonna do?
She sighed as she looked at the alarm clock by her bed, 3:23 taunted her. It’s late, you’re running out of time.
She couldn’t wait until morning; everyone would know. Then everyone would see.
A knock startled Y/N from her thoughts.
They said nothing as Y/N shot up to block the door. She pressed her palm against the wood, just in case they tried to come in.
“Hey! Um, w-who is it?”
Y/n was nearly taken aback by the gentle tone that came from the other side, the long sleepless night had rendered Wanda’s voice meek.
“It’s me.”
Y/N’s throat had gone dry, “What are you doing up?’
Wanda looked down at the door handle, had placed gently as she meant to turn it. The voices in her head had been loud, startling. She knew where they had been coming from, but Wanda wanted to choose her words carefully.
“I just, I had a feeling,” she started, “I can sense shit, you know. And…”
Y/N bit her lip as she paused, fearing what would come next.
“I know something’s wrong.”
Y/N’s index finger drummed against the wood. Searching for an excuse, she found none. 
Wanda could feel her panic through the door, “I need you to let me in.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea Wanda.”
Bandages, dark coloured shirts; nothing translucent, nothing that showed off the skin of her back. She was always careful about that; and up until now she had everything under control. She hadn’t thought that her energy might be setting Wanda off, how can you hide your thoughts?
The wound made her panic; made her lose control. Someone had spotted a vulnerability, and it was someone she was physically incapable of lying to. she knew Wanda wouldn’t leave, there was nothing she could do to change it now.
“Alright, I … I need your help.”
Y/N couldn’t see Wanda nodd, brows pinched as she attempted to read more from Y/N’s emotions. She was going to let her in, but she definitely didn’t want to.
“I’m not going to say anything about it... you’ll know when you see it.”
Something flashes in Wanda’s mind, x marks the spot-
“Don’t ask questions. Please.”
Wanda tucked her bottom lip under her teeth as she took in what Y/N was saying, slightly scared.
Promising her discretion, Y/N opened the door.
They only faced each other for a moment, before Y/N turned to hide her distress. She couldn’t stand to look at Wanda for long. Wanda’s eyes landed on her back, seeing what Y/N needed help with.
But it couldn’t be missed what Y/N had been trying to hide.
Though she hadn’t meant to react aloud, Wanda gasped.
Y/N winced at the sound of pity, anger and fear bottling up inside her. 
She knew what it looked like. She hadn’t shown anyone for a reason.
“Y/N-” 
“Don’t.” Y/N softly commanded, “I’m not talking about it. If you really need to know, just look at the memories.” 
She sat on the edge of her bed. Comfortable in her seat, she turned to face Wanda. “I’m guessing you knew about them anyways.”
Wanda’s face fell, eyes taking in the sight before her.
“Not… not like this.”
Silence overcame them as Y/N turned to her bedside table, opening the drawer and fumbling for a small first aid kit. She tossed it over her shoulder, huffing as she waited.
Wanda having nothing else left to say, began her work on the wound.
The next few days the stitches held nicely. 
In exchange for her silence on the matter, Wanda asked that Y/N would come to her if anything ever happened again. Y/N agreed, but she knew she never would. It didn’t matter if Wanda knew she was lying, at least it kept her quiet.
She had stayed clear of Wanda for a few days, and planned to take it easy. She wasn’t stupid, she knew she needed to heal. 
Steve had other ideas.
There had been word of an underground darknet ring in Prague; Steve and Tony wanted to take a small crew as it needed minimal handling. Wanda and Nat were brought along, while the rest were asked to stay behind. Y/N felt at ease.
Then Steve gave her a task for the day.
“Does it have to be him?”
“Yes, Y/N. You’re both rusty in hand to hand,” Steve explained, “and you have different fighting styles; it’s good for both of you.”
Y/N’s jaw set in annoyance. Though she would never call Steve Rogers a liar, her gut told her there was more to this than tidying up her skills.
“Is it really because of my shit combat? Or are you trying to make us play nice?”
Steve didn’t answer, sighing as his hands settled on his hips. Barnes and her had never really gotten along and recently things had worsened between them. The tightness of his lip and firm stare in his eyes revealed the truth.
“Oh for fuck sakes Steve!” Y/N groaned, “You’re seriously gonna put us in a timeout together? Because we don’t like each other?” 
Steve tilted his head in disbelief at her statement, “Massive understatement: you told him he was an asshole, he called you a raging bitch and you nearly broke his nose. At a briefing meeting.”
Y/N looked away from her Captain, not wanting to relive the ugly fight that had broken out. 
The two were separated like children, getting the whole team involved. They hadn’t let either of them live it down; now they were getting punsihed for it.
She sighed wistfully, feigning admiration. “What can I say? We’re electric.”
Steve pointed at her, “Don’t get funny with me. You’re lucky Fury didn’t suspend your asses from the field, you caused one hell of a scene and that can’t happen again. So, you’re going to spend time together and get over whatever bullshit this is.” 
Y/N shut up then, knowing better than to talk back to her superior. Steve sighed heavily as he tried to reel in the Captain complex that had broken out. This was friend to friend, not captain to subordinate. 
Y/N bit the inside of her cheek, she knew there was no way out of this. Steve was serious; and seriously pissed. She would prefer not to be on his bad side, or Fury’s for that matter. But the thought of spending one on one time with Barnes repulsed her. His aura set her off, it had ever since she met him. Avoiding him was to be done at all costs.
“Did you talk to the prodigal son yet? Or am I the only one getting a dad lecture?”
He glared at her, “Yes, I talked with Bucky, and he’s agreed to it.” 
She thought of arguing further, before she saw the exhaustion in Steve’s eyes. His job wasn’t easy, this hadn’t been Steve’s problem but as Captain he had to take it on. He may have been over a 100 years old but the truth was Steve, in his heart, was only late 20’s. The rowdy kid from Brooklyn suddenly had the world on his shoulders and an entire army to go with it. Y/N realized that she had no right to make something like this harder for him, considering it was of small scale in comparison to all their other bullshit. The least she could do was comply with his wishes and lighten the load.
She smiled softly, giving the situation it's warranted seriousness.
“Fine,” she agreed, “I can behave myself.”
Though his smile was tired, the statement seemed to calm him. He stood up a little straighter as if life were coming back to him.
 “You promise you’re gonna play nice?” 
“Sir, yes sir.” Y/N mocked a salute with her fingers, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I swear.”
~
The start of training was fine. They were tense, quiet. They both knew how much shit they were in for their behaviour; the plan of action had been to say nothing at all to each other to keep the peace. They used the equipment in silence; running through their own separate regimens happily. Next they witnessed each other’s weapon’s training; each scoring one another’s shots and accuracy with honesty. Things were fine, they were fine.
Y/N watched as Bucky went about his solo agenda, eyes set and jaws locked. Serious. Always very serious. He was a no nonsense kind of man, though he was surprisingly funny and charming. At his core he didn’t like bullshitting, everything held purpose and when someone disagreed with that they lost his respect. Y/N knew that; which was why she made an extra effort to come off as flakey and carefree as she could around him. She hated to admit that she tried to deceive her team. Y/N was herself around them; fun loving, adventurous, strong. That was all real. But vulnerability could cost you, and she kept that part reserved for herself alone. She had to be incredibly protective of herself when it came to these people though; the intelligent and superpowered were not easy to hide from. Nat was a trained assassin, Wanda a mystique of the human mind, and Bucky, the worst of them all; an unstoppable force trained to find any source of weakness. He reads people like a civie reads stop signs; without care or effort, part of daily routine. There wasn’t a weakness he couldn’t spot; no stone unturned.
It wasn’t that she hated Barnes, it was that she feared him.
So she did her best to annoy him, pestering and loud and whiny much like a mosquito in your ear. It deterred him, it kept him at a distance, and it allowed his skills of perception to be clouded by hatred.
He couldn’t get close enough to see what she hid from everyone. So, things were fine. And they were fine.
Then they had to spar. 
Y/N grew hesitant. Her shoulder was sore, she knew that she had been pushing it with the weights and that the stitches probably couldn’t handle the strenuous exercise. She had been more careful with independent training and weapons, but she didn’t think she would need her full range of motion for the fight.
Bucky pulled the bandages taught around his knuckles, counting his wraps as he tried to calm himself.
He didn’t want to spend more time with Y/N than he had to, her presence unbearable due to her lack of care for anything this job entailed. A separate workout had gone well, both of them too focused on their own tasks. Now, he was noticing her hesitancy to get in the ring, finding himself getting more angry the longer she stood and stared. 
“The faster you set up, the faster I get out of here. Move your ass.”
Y/N removed herself from her thoughts, a slight snarl quickly covering her face of indecision. “And to think we were getting along so well.”
She ducked beneath the ropes of the ring, grimacing as the roll of her shoulder sent a wave of pain through her body. Ignoring it, she placed herself in the center and readied herself for Bucky.
Bucky chuckled, “The only reason we’ve been getting along “so well” is because you’ve kept your mouth shut. Think you can keep that up for 5 more minutes?”
“Aw, can only last five minutes? No wonder you’re single Barnes.”
He glared as he finished his wrapping, forcing a smile in an attempt to ignore her. “Let’s get this over with.”
As Bucky settled in his stance, he took in her form. Hands at chin height. Fists locked, committed to the fight, elbows tucked in to sides. Legs evenly distanced…
He noticed then how she carried herself, shoulders uneven, compensating for something in her back.
“What’s wrong with your shoulder?”
Y/N’s eyes widened. She immediately she moved to strike Barnes.
He barely dodged her blow. Stepping out of her range, he recovered quickly.
He glared at her for the dirty move.
She rolled out her shoulder as she circled him, “Enough talking.”
She was an assertive fighter; she wasted no time in preparing hit after hit, she moved quick and efficiently.
Bucky was different, while she landed her blows he made his defenses. He danced along the outside of the ring; patiently observing the right moment. When he was The Asset, everything was pure force and attack. It cost him in the long run; body aching and joints damaged from reckless destruction. The serum couldn’t heal everything. He had to be smarter now, he observed carefully while protecting himself. He’d analyse the hits, the timing, the preferences, the weaknesses-
Y/N was too caught up in her delivery and missed her hit, arm extending too far forward. An open defense on her back. The shoulder.
There.
Bucky landed a harsh elbow downwards to the shoulder.
Y/N saw white and cried out.
She stumbled to the floor.
Bucky stood back, hands slightly raised in shock.
A blow like that shouldn’t have floored her.
He then noticed the blood pooling on the fabric of her shirt.
“Y/N, you’re bleeding.”
Her hand shot to cover it, her only response a quiet laboured breath. Her eyes darted around the room, anywhere but him.
“I’m--” She couldn’t find the words to explain. Bucky was seeing this, Bucky would know. She’d been stupid, what was she thinking?
Bucky shook his head, mouth agape as he watched the dampening fabric on her curled figure.
“We’ve gotta get you to Banner.”
“No.”
He moved at her voice, finding himself at her side and lifting her to sit upright. He placed his hand on her arm, Y/N jolted from his grasp and stumbled back on her hands. The movement tore the skin further, and she yelped.
Bucky ignored her withdrawal, firmly clasping his hands on her waist and lifting her to her feet. “That’s not just a cut, that’s serious.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Then let me see.”
“No.”
She pulled away from him, ignoring the pain. She scanned for a towel on the outside of the ring, clutching her shoulder as she ducked under the ropes.
Bucky followed, snatching a small rag and moving to press it to her shoulder. She winced, but applying pressure was necessary.
With her face inches from his, the look he adorned was much more intense. It scared her. It was the one he wore in battles, when he’d figured them out; whoever it was. He knew the plan, or the strategy, or he knew he would make his target. She didn’t like being on the receiving end of that.
“I didn’t do that, I can’t tear skin like that. When did it happen?”
 “Just drop it.”
“Y/N enough, you’re hurt.  You’re going to let me help you.”
“Get off me!”
With more force than needed, she shoved Barnes away and he stumbled back.
As he gained his footing, he watched as she ran out clutching her shoulder. Blood coating the edge of her hand. He felt nauseous, so much blood.
Looking down to his hand, he realized he was still holding the towel he’d pressed to her shoulder. A small puddle of crimson red stained it, it held him frozen.
It was bad, he knew it was bad. She did too. Why wouldn’t she let him help her?
Bucky thought about how he held her. Moving without sympathy, acting without permission. He’d been too rough with her. He’d been cold, direct. Handling and gripping her with harshness. He didn’t mean too, he was just worried. When Bucky panics everything is machine-like. You shouldn’t do that when someone is hurt. Not your teammate.
He had always been like that with her.
Still holding the towel, Bucky rushed after her.
~
And now he sat outside her bathroom door.
He’d come to her as fast as he could, trying to explain himself. Begging her to let him help. But she’d been angry and scared, slamming the door in his face.
He said he wasn’t leaving until she came out, she said “then you’ll sit there all night”.
And he did.
Her nostrils flared slightly as a gloss pooled in her eyes, blinking rapidly.
Why? Why did you stay?
The look she gives him, stirred something inside him that he couldn’t explain.
“I—I promise.”
Her eyes set on the floor while pursing her lips, she nervously bounced her leg. She turned her back to him, walking further into the bathroom, leaving the door open. Bucky didn’t follow her, watching as she moved away from him. She faced the far wall, breathing heavy as her hands gripped the hem of her shirt. 
Just get it over with, Y/N.
She wanted the experience to be over. She tried to pull her shirt off quickly, but the movement tore her hurt skin. Before she could stop herself she cried out.
Bucky finally came in at her cry, worry coursing through him. He stopped when he saw her. She was bare in front of him, as he took in the sight he realized why she’d been so scared.
There didn’t seem to be a patch of skin unscathed. 
Deep, dark scarring running angrily down her back; criss crossing in one large jagged X. Some sections looked repetitive, like that had been torn over, and over. Though they weren’t fresh, they looked extremely painful. How the skin had even healed itself, Bucky didn’t know.
What should he say? Should he say anything at all?
He noticed then a line that had been split; a small blade wound with torn stitching running along the hit of her shoulder.
“Who stitched you up?”
She cleared her throat, on the verge of tears.
“Wanda.” She confessed, just above a whisper. 
He nodded, realizing she couldn’t see him, he moved to her. He grabbed the first aid kit as he settled in behind her, assessing the damage.
“Well, she’s got a shit hand. Making you look like a patchwork doll.”
Y/N chuckled, sniffling. “Like a ragdoll?”
He slightly smiled, his voice light. “Gonna have to call you raggedy Anne now.”
She heard his shuffling behind her, fumbling for the materials in the kit.
“Have you disinfected it yet?”
“Uh,” she mumbled, “was I supposed to?”
She heard him sigh in annoyance and stifled a smile. “My god, are you new here?” It felt better hearing him tease her, and she laughed.
They both knew they were dancing around the serious tension in the room; he wasn’t asking the questions he should be, and he hadn’t touched her yet. He wanted to ask; but he didn’t want to overstep. When was too much too much? He’d already pushed far enough. How closer could he get to the line?
She’d let him see the worst of it; but somehow the words were difficult to say.
“This,” he started, “is—it’s, um, just water. But I’ll clean it after.”
“Okay.”
With a shaky hand he placed the cotton against her skin. There was a lot of heat to the wound, the surrounding skin swollen. She flinched slightly, but didn’t tell him to stop.
He worked slowly, gingerly running along the length of the wound. 
“It, um--” Y/N started, “—It happened about a week ago.”
“Are you sure? This doesn’t really look like it—”
“The small one, Barnes. I meant the small one.”
“Oh. Right.”
Bucky kicked himself for such an insensitive comment. “Russia mission?’
“Yeah, their one guy got me during the shoot out.” She scoffed, “Stupid to bring a knife to a gun fight.”
“You’re tellin’ me…” He agreed. His brows pulled as he thought back to the mission, “Why didn’t you say something on the jet?”
“Well, if I said something they would’ve fixed me up then—and obviously...”
Bucky nodded as she trailed off, “None of them know, I’m guessing.”
He moved to disinfect, Y/N hissed through her teeth as she arched her back, but relaxed as it began to sooth.
“Sorry.” He mumbles.
“It’s okay,” She said, “And no, they don’t. Fury knows, from my physical.”
“—And Wanda.” He added.
“Yeah…”
He started to threaded his stitching needle, “When did she find out?”
“Few days ago, bandages were bleeding through and… she knew something was up—”
His eyes closed as he bit his lip, she’d let an open wound sit for days…
“—So she promised to keep it a secret if I let her help me.”
“I see,” Bucky said, “I’m gonna start now. There’s nothing for freezing, so it’s gonna hurt.”
Y/N puffed out her cheeks as she nodded, “Okay.”
She felt the pulling of the thread through her skin. It stung, but she had experienced worse pain than this.
“Does... Wanda know how it happened?”
Y/N tilted her head in a noncommittal response, “Kind of. She could tell I was hiding something, in a weird way, she knew they were there already. I told her to look at the memories if she really wanted to know.”
“You think she did?”
“Doesn’t really matter, she’s seen them anyways and that’s the worst of it.”
She felt Bucky stop for a moment, she couldn’t see his face but she knew he read through that.
“Is it?’
Y/N felt herself start to cry again.
She remembered how she got them; each experiment they had put her under failing miserably. Each gash just as painful as the one before, it never got better.
“I’m sorry.”
Bucky surprised her with his apology, “Why?”
He thought for a second, not wanting to say something wrong. “You don’t have to admit that that’s not the worst of it, because I know it isn’t.”
He thought she would stop him, but she let him continue. “I know talking about it is the hardest part, and people seeing the aftermath of what you went through… then they ask. They assume. Telling them about it is the hardest part; because you’re okay…”
“...until they ask.” She finished.
He finished his suture, tying the knot and snipping the remaining material free. 
“I just—” She started, “I hate when people see them. I know I shouldn’t care, I know we’ve all been through our shit but… it’s like when they look at you it’s all this sorry bullshit—”
She was angry, but she was opening up, and Bucky wasn’t going to take that from her.
“—they look at you and imagine the worst pain, and they look at it and they think they understand when they don't. I felt this pain, I lived whatever nightmare they’re picturing in their heads and they feel sorry for me. I’m no longer strong or a person to them, I’m broken.”
“I don’t think you’re broken.”
She dismissed him with a cold laugh, “Well I certainly don’t look whole do I Barnes?”
Her scars were gruesome, ugly. He would never lie and say they weren’t. But they were a part of her. A part of her past. Symbols of pain, but markers of survival. And though they were gruesome, somehow this side of her opened up a part of Bucky. 
Something vulnerable. Something in him allowed him to understand her.
He just didn’t know how to say it.
She couldn’t look at him, angry that she’d said so much.
They barely knew each other, they could hardly stand one another, and now he was seeing the weakest part of her.
Hands gentle on her shoulders, Bucky turned her to face him. Confused, she watched as his hands pulled at the fabric of his shirt, pulling it over his head. 
“What are you doing?” She asked.
Bucky didn’t respond, dropping the shirt to the ground and rolling out his shoulders.
He held his chin a little higher, stretching his chest before turning to his right side, offering her his left arm.
“See, here.”
He pointed to where the metal of his prosthetic met skin. 
Y/N leaned in, analyzing the detail of the joint of flesh and metal. Still swollen and pink, the scarring of his shoulder was very blatant. The arm was torn irregularly from the bone, you could see patched scarring from skin that hadn’t torn clean. She could see the surgical scarring as well, from where they tried to shave off the leftovers… and something else.
Upon closer look she could see the streaks of clawing, nicks of the nails still prominent.
“You—”
Bucky nodded, “Yeah, I tried to tear it off.”
Y/N’s brows pulled as she looked at Bucky, empathy evident in hers.
“Touch it.” He said.
She flicked her eyes between his and the scar, unsure.
Seeing her indecision, he reached with his right hand and gently wrapped around her fingers, raising her hand to the metal shoulder. She ran her fingers along the tender skin, feeling the lumps and crevices of the healing scar. Bucky felt a shiver creeping as she traced him, sensitive to such a soft touch. He chose to ignore it as he spoke,
“It hurts sometimes. Every now and then it feels like it’s new.”
She nodded.
“Do you get phantom pains?” she asked.
He shrugged.
“Every now and then… but Shuri altered the nerve endings in my shoulder, helped my brain adjust to it—the arm being gone.”
Y/N chuckled dryly, hand still trailing his skin.
“Think she could help me?”
Bucky looked up from her hand, “do you think you need to be helped?”
She didn’t move as she met his eyes.
“It sure looks like it. I look like—”
She stopped, lip trembling, “—I look like a failed science dissection.”
“You look like a survivor, Y/N.”
“I look weak.”
“Do I look weak?”
She sputtered softly. “No.”
“Exactly. The marks of someone else’s cruelty isn’t your weakness Y/N. In everything you do, there isn’t a shred of weakness. You are strong, you are determined, you’re passionate, you’re kind, you’re caring…”
She was hypnotized by his words, someone thinking so highly of her, in spite of what they’d seen.. it wasn’t something she’d experienced before.
“You’re fighting with us. You’re as powerful as anyone else on this team is. Your scars—they’re proof of a battle. Of a battle that you won. You’re here. You’re here in spite of everything they did.”
She traced his collarbone as she listened, comforting him in saying what he had to say.
“I’m not saying the pain of it is just going to disappear. Hell, I’m still dealing with my own—we all are. But we’re with you in this, you have us. More importantly, we have you. You can push us away all you want but we’re stubborn as hell.”
“Exhibit A.” She said, pointing at his chest.
He laughed, not noticing how he leaned into her touch.
“I pushed you away.” She uttered.
“I know.”
She dipped forward, resting against his chest. 
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
He wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him as she continued to trace him.
Looking down at her scars, he felt a pull he never expected he would. Bucky fought the overwhelming urge to run his hands along every inch of them, an itch came in his palms to feel every part of her. 
And he knew—he knew without a doubt, he wouldn't stop there.
His inhale was shaky. 
He felt goosebumps raise on her skin beneath his palms. Her heart thudding loudly, the pulse of her vibrating in his fingertips.
He was just as aware of her as she was of him.
The feeling was so sudden, so consuming. He didn’t understand why or how, yet it made sense. He figured out why it had been so wrong to have been the way they were.
It was someone who understood. Someone that opened up. Someone who was just so, so…
It had felt so wrong before; because it was supposed to be this.
“I’m, um—”
Bucky felt his mouth go dry as he swallowed, now that his concern for her safety was gone, he realized just how naked she was. 
She noticed too, the dilation of her pupils, the almost mechanical-like breathing. Holding in her composure.
She took in the width of his build, the broad body of strength at her reach. Though they fought alongside each other for a long time, it felt very different to be this close to him, and feel him in this way.  
“I’m sorry I called you an ass.”
Her hands began a descent to his abdomen.
“I’m sorry I called you a bitch.”
His forehead rested against hers.
“I’m sorry I made you sit on the floor for an hour.”
His hands curled around her hips, as hers latched onto the waistband of his bottoms.
“I’m sorry for—”
But he couldn’t finish, his lips practically mumbling against hers, eyes closed as her took her in. 
This woman. This beautiful, insane, dangerous woman in front of him.
The screaming, the fighting, the distance, the time wasted on nothing and fear… when this is all they should’ve been doing.
I’m wasting precious time, he thought.
 “—I’m sorry for this.”
Y/N had no time to prepare as Bucky lifted her off the ground, legs quickly snapping around his hips by his force, and smashing his lips to hers.
It was desperate, it was hard, it was pure Bucky.
His body against hers was absolutely divine, yet his lips were sinful.
He wasn’t a man of nonsense, everything serious. Determined and powerful and purposed, his only goal right now was claiming her in this moment as his. 
Bucky was serious about fucking her like he meant it.
“I want you, I need you now.” He mumbled against her skin as he bit her neck.
He spun them, moving to get her to the bed as soon as possible.
Her shoulder made direct contact as he set her on the sheets, and she winced. 
Bucky leaned off her, “Oh my god—I’m sorry.”
She breathed through the pain, shaking her head. “Don’t worry.”
Bucky felt his heart soften, “Shit, sorry doll. I just wasn’t thinking—”
Y/N chuckled softly, moving a hand to run her fingers along his jaw. 
Their foreheads against each other, both racing to catch their breaths.
“It’s okay, just…”
She became lost in his features, blue eyes staring in lust, lips parted ever so slightly. Bucky Barnes, of all men...
“Just what?” He asked.
Something dark crossed her features, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
“Be gentle.”
Bucky gulped, feeling like he would burst then and there.
Jesus Christ.
“You’re evil.” He stated, knowing her goal was to tease him.
She laughed again as he began his assault of kisses on her chest, her hands gently digging at his back.
“We. Could. Move, shit—”
He could barely speak through the motions, her hips grinding into his own pained him in the best way, “—switch positions?”
“Good thinking soldier.”
He pulled off her again, “Fuck sake’s doll, just—” 
His breathing was harsh, frustrated as he handled her.
“—Just hold off on talking like that for a second.”
She smirked.
“Am I setting you off, sergeant?”
His jaw hitched in a way that meant trouble, his eyes darkening deeper than they already had.
“God, you’re such a fuckin’ tease.”
He rolled onto his back, carrying her with him.
The sight above Bucky was art-worthy, the ruffled hair and the swollen lips, her body straddling him.
He needed to be inside her.
He took his time in removing her bottoms, fingers tracing new found flesh.
Soft, supple.
She gasped as his fingers entered her, his thumb drawing so slowly on her clit that it was nearly painful.
He took his time with her, keeping his pace slow. Partly from not wanting to hurt her, the other part not wanting to miss any minute in filling her with pleasure.
He kissed her as he curled his fingers inside her, finding sweet spots within her while his thumb found its rhythm.
She sighed shakily, overstimulated by this drawn out pleasure. When she said go slow, Bucky listened. 
He removed his hand, moving to shift off his pants and his boxers.
“Still okay?” He muttered.
Y/N came down from her bliss, looking into Bucky’s eyes to see how seriously he was asking the question. He wanted her to be okay with this, to want this. Not out of a heated moment, not because of what had happened between them… but because she really wanted him.
“Yes, Bucky. Please.”
Bucky had never heard sweeter words.
He placed himself at her entrance, and slowly bucked upwards. The two both released sighs of sweet relief.
All that time at each other's throats should’ve been spent doing this.
He grinded slowly, letting her feel every inch of him. He filled her so well, and his pace was excruciatingly slow.
“Fuck, you’re so tight.” Bucky groaned as he picked up his pace, hand reaching to rub her clit once again.
Y/N moaned, “Oh god, yes. Bucky— Bucky keep going.”
He pulled her against his chest as he bucked his hips into her, her moans filling his ear. His arms wrapped around the small of her back, bringing him deeper into her. She was so fucking wet, he didn’t think he could last much longer. He groaned as she tightened around him; fingers circling faster on her clit.
She reached her peak, moaning his name loudly as her high overcame her. Bucky continued to draw out her pleasure, not wanting to miss any moment of that beautiful euphoria of hers. Suddenly his peak came too, filling her as he kissed her neck and gripped her tightly to him.
Their hearts slowed, their breathing softened, and the world came back into focus.
A hum of excitement still held between them, but their calmness and tiredness of the day came all at once.
Bucky shifted her off him, she hissed in pain as her soreness set in. “I got you, don’t worry.”
He mumbled it once more, as his lips gently trailed her hairline. At first gentle, but then becoming playful as his soft kisses continued their crusade on her face, making her laugh lightly as his beard scratched and tickled her skin.
“Buck, come on.”
“Hey, I gotta get in as much as I can before this is over.”
She gave him a soft smile, comforting him of his worry.
“It doesn’t have to be over, Buck.”
He raised a brow at her, “No?”
“No. Not if you don’t want it to be.”
He gingerly ran his fingers on her cheek, cupping her face. “I don’t want it to be, I don’t like how we were before. I like this.”
“Me too.”
He smiled as he kissed her again, avoiding her shoulder as he placed his hand on her back, holding her to him. “I don’t really think you’re a bitch.”
“I don’t really think you’re an asshole.” She countered.
He laughed before she continued, “I just didn’t want you getting close, I wasn’t ready for someone to see me like that. And I knew you would.”
Bucky was surprised, but said nothing as he listened. “That wasn’t right of me to do, you deserved more than that.”
She sighed as she sat up slightly, really looking at him so he could see she meant it.
“I’m not perfect, but I promise I’ll get better. And if there’s anyone I want to work through this for…”
 Bucky smiled, letting her trail off as he kissed her. Saying anything that needed to be said, with a simple kiss. 
Actions spoke louder than their words.
Permanent Tag List: @babyblue-07​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @fandomsfallnomore​ @elliee1497​
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buckysbabygorl · 3 years
Text
A Stitch in Time Masterlist
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Summary: Some things only come once in a lifetime. You get one chance before it slips from your grasp…
When family heirlooms turn up, Bucky Barnes is brought back into a painful nostalgia. Beautiful memories of his youth with his best friend Steve Rogers, and lost love Y/N L/N. All of the things he had hoped for in his life completely passed him by. Or so he thought before fate intervened
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Status: WIP, last updated April 1, 2022
Series Playlist
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buckysbabygorl · 3 years
Text
A Favor (Part 1)
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count: 2.6k
Warnings: sex, alcohol, swearing, shitty exes, virginity
Summary: After breaking up with her boyfriend; Y/N drunkenly admits to the team that she’s never had sex. Not only is she single, but she’s looking. Everyone knows about the crush Barnes harbours for Y/N, but all is fair in love and war... will Barnes admit how he feels before she’s swept up? Or will Y/N find someone else to satisfy her needs?
Part 2
Series Masterlist
The team had been relaxing in the lounge, lucky to have a day off from an overwhelming schedule of missions and exercise. Fury hadn’t found any threats to be “Avenger Level” at the current time; deeming it would be more appropriate to send out SHIELD agents instead. It was nice to have normal moments like this; hanging out and chatting like regular people do. It was hard enough not being able to see their families, their civilian friends, but not being able to see each other, other than on the field and in the gym, made it worse. Though a few friendly faces  were missing from their rally; they made due. 
They needed this; to be able to drape lazily over couches, throw back drink after drink and laugh for an hour or two.
Tony had just brought in two more cases of who knows what, as Sam told another one of his classic “Falcon and Winter Soldier” stories; a mission gone wrong with some silly twist at the end.
Bucky rolled his eyes at another incorrect detail, while Rogers and Barton laughed.
Wanda, Nat and Y/N sat on the floor, intently listening. Just as Sam was getting to “the good part”, Y/N’s phone buzzed.
She slipped it out of her pocket, and Nat watched as her face morphed into a scowl.
“God, he’s an idiot!” Y/N screamed, tossing her phone elsewhere. She clearly had had one too many, not usually one for dramatic outbursts. 
Sam stopped his story to look at her. He shook his head before asking a question he already knew the answer to;
“Is it Cameron again?”
Y/N nodded, annoyed. “He won’t piss off.”
Wanda rolled her eyes, equally as frustrated. “God I hate him.”
Nat pointed her bottle at the Witch, “He’s an ass. Fucker should just take the hint.”
Now they had really piqued the team’s interest, the other boys jumping in. 
“Trouble in paradise?” Tony asked.
A dry laugh escaped Y/N, “There is no paradise, we broke up.”
Bucky’s head quickly shot to Y/N’s direction, dropping his conversation with Steve. He didn’t know they broke up. Judging from the team’s reaction, neither did they. Aside from Nat and Wanda.
Steve discreetly punched Bucky’s arm, teasing him about his undivided attention to the conversation at hand. 
At least try to be subtle, Steve thought.
Clint leaned towards the girls as he chimed in, “What happened there?”
Y/N took a sip of her wine as she softly shook her head, how dare Cameron reach out after their last conversation.
“He’s a serial monogamist with zero emotional maturity. Too many dumb fights where he thought he could never do wrong, he wasn’t good enough for a relationship. At the end of the day, this guy couldn’t give me what I needed.”
With eyes wide, Sam laughed. “Harsh Y/N.”
He sipped his beer and shrugged, “But I’m not gonna disagree with you.”
Clint bit his lip, running his thumb on the mouth of his bottle, “Yeah, I can’t say I’m sad he’s gone, he was always weird around us.”
“What do you mean?” Y/N asked.
The team looked to each other, none of them wanting to be the first to explain.
Bucky had no problem though, it was no secret he hated Cameron the second he walked in the door. 
“Well…” Bucky started, “It was love/hate with him. Like he was excited to see us, but also not excited to see us.”
Y/N swirled her wine as she made a face, thinking of Cameron’s behavior always put a bad taste in her mouth.
“How so?”
Wanda hummed to interject, finishing her glass as she pointed to Y/N.
 “Like he wanted to hang out with superheroes, but was jealous that we hung around you.”
The group nodded.
“Yeah,” Nat agreed, “Like when we went out; he was always giving the boys dirty looks when they were with you at the bar, but then he’d brag to whoever he was sitting with that he was ‘with us’?”
The team made comments of agreement, the remark bringing back old memories of petty jealousy.
“Could never get a read on him,” Tony admitted, “Couldn’t tell if he was a fan or if he hated us, but us being superheroes was the only bonus. You know?”
Y/N nodded sadly, she knew exactly what he meant. 
“Honestly that might’ve been why he dated me.”
“No,” Bucky disagreed, “He dated you because you’re amazing. He lost you because he’s not good enough for you. You deserve someone that supports you and your friends.”
Y/N’s lip pulled in a softened pout, “Thanks Bucky.”
She reached out with her foot to poke his knee, “Find me a guy like that, would ya?”
The team giggled, but for other reasons than Y/N thought.
“Yeah Barnes,” Tony teased, “Know anyone that might be interested in our girl?”
Laughter erupted from the group again, thank god Y/N was too oblivious (or too drunk) to notice the reddening of the soldier’s cheeks.
Y/N smiled sadly as she flipped back to their original topic. 
“Well, I’m sorry I didn’t let go of him sooner.” 
Wanda handled a bottle of Pinot Grigio to refill Y/N’s glass. 
“Honestly,” she started, “I don’t know why you kept him around.”
“Probably for the sex.” Sam joked, pulling a laugh from the others. 
Bucky subtly glared at Sam, not wanting to be reminded that the asshole had ever laid a hand on Y/N.
Y/N shook her head as she gulped down her wine again. 
“God no,” she wiped the corners of her mouth to rid of the dripping wine, “Never had it.”
“Seriously?” Clint questioned, “3 months together and no sex?”
 “No,” Y/N narrowed her eyes in confusion, “I mean I’ve never had sex.”
Bucky choked on his whiskey.
It seemed as though everyone froze, her statement invoking more shock than she thought it would.
After a rather awkward beat held in the air, Sam barked with laughter. 
“Oh come on Y/N--be serious.”
The boys relaxed then, thinking Y/N may have been joking after all. 
The tension started to leave before she answered, “I am.”
The silence was deafening. While the boys remained astonished, the girls held no reaction. This was nothing new to them. After many girls nights with whiskey and secret telling, this was old news. 
Steve regained his composure as he cleared his throat. 
“Um, are you waiting until marriage?”
The girls shared a look before they burst out with laughter. 
But the boys weren’t laughing, a girl like Y/N? Really? Never had sex?
“God no,” Y/N wiped tears from her eyes as she began to explain, “Just never found the right guy. With Cameron, he was always...”
She mulled over the memories, trying to find the right words.
“...so grumpy and whiny all the time that it was off putting. And everyone was either too stupid or too disgusting back home. Then with being here, never really found the time.”
“I can make the time,” Wilson offered. Bucky nearly threw his glass at him, but chucked some peanuts at his head instead.
“Stay away from our girl, Wilson.” Wanda warned playfully.
“Let the man speak,” Y/N said, her wine clouding her senses, “Who knows, maybe if you make a good offer you might have a chance.” 
She peeked over the rim of her glass, watching the men’s reaction. Sam was slightly appalled, puckering his lips at her flirting.
“That offer go for all of us?” Clint interjected.
The group laughed together, the situation still light but holding anticipation.
Nat looked at her curiously, Y/N was a bold person but this was surprising, even for her. Not that she thought there was anything wrong with it; the girl could do what and who ever she wanted. She just didn’t know if Y/N was serious or not.
“Are you actually thinking of looking for something?” 
Y/N pondered for a moment, swirling her drink once again as she chose what to say next.
“I don’t know, maybe. I’ve never considered actively looking but things have changed.”
Bucky took in her words before looking at Steve. This wasn’t actually happening, was it?
“What exactly are you looking for?” Bucky questioned. 
Y/N turned to him, a subtle heat in her eye, a small tug of her bottom lip. She brought her glass to her mouth, sipping to stall herself.
“Depends, what are you offering, Barnes?”
Bucky’s mouth went dry.
Tony cleared his throat loudly, “Excuse me, he’s not the only male in the room here. Are you taking other serious inquiries?”
Nat laughed, “Don’t answer, you’ve had a bit too much to drink.”
Y/N finished her glass then. “I don’t think I’ve had enough! Wanda, can you top me up?”
Wanda raised the empty bottle in her hand and gestured to her side, bringing attention to the other collection of empty wine bottles. 
“I think we’re out. But I do have schnapps in my room.” 
Wanda ushered the other two to rise, “Come on, girls trip.”
 As they left in search of more alcohol, the boys quietly waited. Once they had disappeared, all eyes turned to Bucky. You could see the look of shock in his face as he slowly processed what had just transpired.
“Buddy, either you make a move or I will.” 
As respectful as Sam was about his friend’s crush; his tone was serious, he was clearly not joking. 
“You’d have to be a goddamn idiot not to do anything now.”
Bucky turned to him, mind still fogged from the shock of her flirtations. “What?”
Sam slammed his hands on the coffee table, “She practically begged you! And you said nothing like a moron.”
Bucky shook his head as he drunkenly slipped off the couch, desperately hoping to escape this conversation.
“Okay, ease up.” Steve lectured, “You’re getting a little excited.”
Sam’s eighth was really catching up to him, his moral barriers and social filter completely gone at this point. 
“Look, all I’m saying is, I will not hesitate at an opportunity to show this girl a good time.”
“I second that.” Clint agreed. 
“If I wasn’t a married man…” Tony sipped his seltzer as he trailed off.
Bucky scowled. He grabbed a pillow from behind him, shoving his face into it and groaning loudly.
Steve gave a cheeky smile, sipping on his beer, “Hell, I might even throw my hat in the ring.”
Bucky’s head snapped up, fucking Stevie too?
Steve laughed at his reaction, “Come on Bucky, how could I not? Any man would be damn lucky to-”
“Shut up.” Bucky groaned, head in his hands. This whole situation was driving him insane, with the guys showing her much more attention than usual he felt he’d have to fight for territory. Not that she was his by any means, and of course she was her own person. She could choose to be with anyone, and he really meant anyone, she wanted. He was just scared that the possibility of her having someone else in her life to be intimate with was fastly becoming a reality. 
They’d never been anything more than coworkers, partners, friends. Which he was happy to be, having her in his life was obviously better than having nothing at all. But the desire to be something more than that was a feeling Bucky was never able to suppress. 
Clint laughed, “God, we’re pervs.”
Though it was a joke, there was some truth held in the statement. They all felt a bit guilty with their enhanced attention towards Y/N. But it wasn’t that they saw her as an object; at the end of the day they were all friends and respected her as an equal, superior even. She was deadly, she was their close companion. But she was gorgeous. Any man would be an idiot to pass on an opportunity such as this.
Especially when she had so blatantly stated that she was looking.
Tony rolled his eyes as a thought passed his mind, “You think we’re pervs? Imagine how Thor would react if he knew.”
Thor had always openly admired Y/N. Boldly saying what no man would say, taking chances none of them were willing to take. Last Christmas, this man dipped her beneath the mistletoe without an ounce of hesitation, which she had gladly accepted. His arm wrapped gently around her waist the entire night after… Bucky was nearly in fumes at the thought.
If Y/N wasn’t the death of him, his jealousy would be.
The men went silent, suddenly realizing how much of a chance Thor would have if he knew. The men agreed unanimously aloud, “We’re not telling Thor.”
“Not telling Thor what?”
The boys turned, realizing the ladies had come back. 
“About this hangout, we figured he’d feel like he was missing out.”
Steve’s lie was quick, surprising Bucky with how easily it came and natural it sounded.
Suddenly, a rumble of thunder and lightning shook the compound. The men shuttered as fear overcame them, please not now.
“Relax boys,” Nat said, “It’s just a storm.”
The men settled. They silently agreed, once again, they were not telling Thor.
~
All week Y/N received the utmost treatment from nearly everyone at the compound. 
“Here Y/N, I brought you a coffee!”
“Y/N, need a spotter?”
“Your shoulders look tense Y/N, here let me take care of that-”
“Hands off Wilson.”
The men of SHIELD were going crazy. Hell, even a few girls had made a move.
Peyton from statistics brought her a blueberry muffin at the start of the last meeting, a small napkin with a lipstick print and a number.
Have a good day! It read. Maybe we could discuss it over coffee?
Jaws hit the floor as they watched Y/N tuck the napkin in her pocket, winking as she did.
“Peyton, huh? Who knew!”
Everyone knew Y/N wanted to get back out there, what with Cameron being out of the picture. They weren’t sure how it had gotten past their small group of supers, but they had become grossly aware of how fast news spread in this compound, everyone was shooting their shot at this point. 
Bucky hated it. He watched as everyone doted on her with such ease, and envied how simple they made it look. He wanted to be bold, he wanted to be smooth talking, flirty, easy going. 
But he couldn’t be that way about her. Every time he even thought of laying lines on her, giving her a flirtatious touch, he felt himself grow hot with panic.
She turned him into a wreck.
Joking like friends was easy, sitting and talking was easy, but anything with that kind of intention immediately made Bucky shut down.
And she’d never… been with anyone. For some people, that might have been a motivation. To be the first guy to ever get with a girl like that, like it was a prize to be won.
Bucky didn’t think that way, in fact, the thought of anyone looking in Y/N that way made him sick. She wasn’t a competition, she was a woman. A person.
Bucky also knew that he wasn’t the only one thinking that; there were other people looking in her direction that had just as much respect for her as he did. And clearly, just as much interest.
But truthfully, the thought of being her first... well it scared him. What if he wasn’t good enough? What if he hurt her? What if it was a terrible experience and she hated him afterwards? There was too much risk.
He was at a standstill; knowing his opportunity was there, the same as everyone else’s but he was too scared to do anything about it, too easily flustered by the girl everyone was after.
But whether he was scared or not didn’t matter. A certain someone had something to ask of Barnes… he was going to have to face up to the truth sooner than he thought. 
~
Part 2
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buckysbabygorl · 3 years
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A Stitch in Time (Part 3)
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Summary: After an amazing scientific discovery, Y/N is torn...
Word Count: 6.8k
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Part 2
Series Masterlist
Peggy wiped away the falling tears… she couldn’t face Y/N like this. One of them had to be strong; and with the state Y/N was in… she knew it was her burden to bear. Though she tried to reinforce herself to feel the way she thought; it didn’t hold as she came face to face with the young girl. She knew. She saw it immediately in her face. Something was wrong. “Wh--,” she started, her voice going shrill, “Where is he?” Peggy stepped to her slowly, “Y/N--” “No. No--where is he? Where is he?!” “Y/N you should sit down.” “NO! No I’m not sitting down and you’re not--you’re not telling me--where is he?!” “Y/N, he didn’t make it. The plane crashed into the ocean. He-” Y/N whipped a coffee cup from the nearby desk across the room, the ceramic shattering against the wall and falling to the tile below. “He’s not dead! Fucking find him--what kind of agent are you goddamnit--” Peggy’s hand stung against her cheek. She felt the heat of a hand print remain on her face; the silence deafening in the room after the echo of the smack. Peggy’s face coated with instant regret, her own hands raising to cover her distraught visage. She felt the tears prick her eyes as Y/N stood shocked. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry--” “It’s okay.” the young girl said. Looking at Y/N’s emotionless face, Peggy began to cry. She was losing herself, her composure--who was she now? Peggy didn’t know it then, but in hindsight she could see that was when the change began in Y/N. This was the point where Y/N became someone different; hardened, calloused. Cynical. Gone was the young girl from Brooklyn, heart on her sleeve and naive with love. Open arms became closed fists. Later Dugan would say she died with those boys… they lost all three of them that day. “It’s alright.” The calm reassurance surprised them both, and Y/N took Peggy into her arms. “I’m sorry Peggy.” It wasn’t only for the harsh words, but for the loss Y/N knew she was taking on selfishly, Peggy had lost someone too… ~ That’s how it felt now; a slap to the face and a cold wave of inescapable emotion running through her body.
She felt faint, panicked.
She stumbled pack against the hallway wall; the news of the intruders had trickled through the base and now the soldiers began to run around her in a frenzy. It passed her by.
Steve, that was Steve.
She ran a hand through her already disheveled hair, coffee cup tumbling out of her hands as she slunk down the cool wall. It stained the floor in a puddle at her feet; she didn’t care.
She felt like screaming. She wasn’t crazy, her senses could be trusted.
That was Steve.
“Y/N! Y/N?”
She was knocked back to the present, watching as the chaos ensued around her. She whipped her head in the direction of the call; watching as Hank approached her, looking distraught.
“Y/N,” He said as crouched to her side, “Are you okay?”
“Hank, what the hell is going on?” She asked.
He hesitated as he looked around; seeming torn and the action around them. “Come with me.”
“What? No, I have to find Peggy. I have to--”
“Y/N, you need to come with me. I’ll explain when Stark’s here.”
“Stark? Seriously, what's going on?”
He pulled her to her feet, ushering her down the hallway.
“It’s the quantum radar; something’s thrown my measurements off the charts. And I’m guessing it’s because of whoever's here…”
He trailed off; he’d heard of the security breach, it was everywhere by now, “Something’s here that shouldn’t be. And we need to find out what.”
~
Stark angrily adjusted his tie as he weaved through the hallways; Maria was going to kill him. He’d just left, just left… and after a desperate call from base he was forced to turn back around to quiet whatever hell had broken loose.
He checked his watch, nearly 6.
Yeah, Maria was going to absolutely kill him.
He startled Hank and Y/N as he stormed into Pym’s lab.
“Damn it Hank, this better be good. Tell me what the hell is going on here.”
Y/N shook her head, she was eager to know the same thing. She was still processing what she’d seen… maybe she had been going crazy. She couldn’t possibly vocalize what she’d seen; they’d write her off immediately. Then again it was Hank and Stark; they’d seen their fill of crazy and unexplainable shit. She’d bring it up later; Hank was bursting at the seams. That could wait. “Do you two know what carbon dating is?”
The two shared a look; of course they had. What did that have to do with anything?
Upon seeing their annoyed looks of confusion; Hank elaborated.
“Alright, well--it’s hard to explain but, with quantum dating and measuring levels of quantum energy I can do the same thing. That is--uh--measure the levels of it and trace back--”
“--Get to the point Hank.”
“Alright, alright.” He stepped quickly to his computer, hands zooming over his keyboard. “Someone called me before the security breach, saying that some soldiers were--it doesn’t matter.”
He typed a bit more, pulling up data neither of the laymans could understand.
“What are we looking at here?” Y/N asked.
Pym rubbed his face, shocked and amazed at what he was seeing.
“Someone broke into my lab when I was gone; they took my serum. When I got back the radar was going crazy; there were two major spikes, twenty minutes before the breach and about ten minutes ago.”
Stark’s brows pulled; “What’s that have to do with quantum dating?”
Hank lowered himself to the computer again; “See this here?”
They squinted at the screen.
“That’s a date.” Y/N stated.
“Exactly.”
“What does that mean?”
Hank huffed, “That’s the date that the energy spikes radiate from.”
That wasn’t possible. That was not possible.
“Hank that’s 2023… that’s fifty years from now.” Y/N said.
“I know.”
“So what are you saying?” Stark asked.
Hank sat in a nearby chair, toying with the mouse of the computer. He couldn’t believe it himself; the meaning behind this was absurd. But it was real; this was proof.
“It means that something was here from 2023.”
Silence penetrated the room; sharp and heavy like the tip of a knife.
Y/N couldn’t breathe. Could that mean--
“Steve.”
The two men looked at her, and suddenly she was livid.
“Hank it’s him, it’s Steve Rogers. Steve was here--I saw him I swear--”
“Whoa, whoa.” Stark said, hands flared out as a subconscious way to silence the crazy. “What are you talking about?”
“Steve Rogers, I saw him. Right before you found me, Hank.”
Stark scoffed, “You’re kidding, Y/N. First Hank and this time bandit bullshit--”
“--watch it.” Hank warned.
“No! I’m serious’ can you two hear yourselves right now? You’re saying your computer traced energy from fifty years in the future; and you’re saying--” He pointed at Y/N, “--you saw a dead soldier walking the halls of this place. This is goddamn insane.”
“Howard,” Y/N said, “After all the years you’ve worked here; all the things you’ve seen, can you really say there’s no chance that some of what we’re saying might be true?”
He shook his head, he’d seriously turned back around for this?
“No, Y/N. I can’t, because now you’re talking about some weird sci-fi crap that holds no merit. We’re scientists. This isn’t science; this is ludacris.”
Pym’s face was flushed, his own colleague doubting his work after countless times he's proven himself right. He wouldn’t stand for it.
“This is science. I’m not making shit up here Howard; I’m looking at data that decades of research has gone into. This technology, this work is my life. I’m not making a mistake; I know what I’m seeing.”
Stark sighed, rubbing the facial hair on his cheek. “You’re sure?”
“I’d bet my career on it.” Pym said.
Stark looked to Y/N then; “But Steve Rogers?”
She leaned back in her chair, staring frustrated at the ceiling.
“I know it’s crazy; I know it’s crazy. But it was him guys, I’d know that face anywhere.”
He couldn’t argue with the surety in her voice; he’d worked with Y/N for years. That woman was rational, intelligent, collected… she’d never lied to him or led him astray. Not once.
“So what you’re saying is--” Stark started, leaning back against the cold, metal table of a lab bench, “Is that Steve Rogers somehow alive in 2023, and now has the capability to travel through time?”
“Yes,” Pym started, “But with the help of my work. For some reason, he needed to be here to take whatever I was working on, and get back to where he came from.”
“That’s a pretty big leap,” Y/N said.
“But it’s not without reason; it’s a valid hypothesis.” Hank argued.
Y/N knew he was right; nothing made sense right now, yet from what they could gather it seemed to be the only logical conclusion.
“So,” she started, “What do we do with this?”
“What do we do with it?” Stark asked in disbelief, “Everything Y/N.”
The mass weight of this discovery was finally hitting him: this was beyond anything imaginable. Decades ago he dreamed of flying cars, automatic toasters, silly things in comparison to this. Hank was no different; his delving into the quantum realm… he knew it would amount to great things. But nothing as immense as this. Time jumping with the Pym particles? It was beyond him.
The two men began chattering excitedly, planning the next step. Y/N wasn’t.
“Slow down,” she said, “I get that this is big for us--this whole foundation, but can we think about this for a second?”
“What’s there to think about?” Hank asked, “This could further science by decades.”
She bit the inside of her cheek, “Look, this discovery has existed for minutes. This needs further experimentation, a little more thought. Yes we’re certain we know what it is, but can we at least have a discussion about consequences before we dive in?”
Howard scoffed, “Centuries of advancement, and you’re scared to dip your toes in the water.”
The condescension in his voice couldn’t be missed; scared. It felt like disgust coming from Howard, ‘how dare you’ he might as well have said.
“Yes, Howard. Scared. I’m concerned. We just saw a man come back from the dead; don’t you want to know how that is even a possibility? What if Steve is alive right now and we don’t even know it? Isn’t that more important?”
Hank looked between the two; he felt the tension bubbling in the room, sweat forming on his collar from an imaginary heat.  
Howard thought of the big picture; he was an idea factory, a dreamer. Y/N was rational, level headed. The right now plan was the agenda.
But when Howard got opposed; shit got personal.
“”Listen to yourself,” Stark said, “What we have here… is beyond anything anyone in our generation has even seen before. Zola and Schmidt couldn’t even reach to scratch at this surface, and you’re worried about finding Rogers right now?”
“Are you telling me you’re not?”
“He’s fine! He came back from the future for Christ’s sake--what, are you scared he’s out there waiting to give you a time out for your last blow up?”
Hank felt that heat again, the words struck a chord as soon as they came out of Stark’s mouth. Hank didn’t know what Stark meant; but from the look on her face, he knew Y/N did.
“The hell did you just say?” Y/N snarled.
You could almost hear her teeth crack as they clenched, rage curling her fingers to dig into the skin of her palms. Hank knew these were dangerous words; whatever they meant.
But Howard was irate, consumed at the thought of chasing the unknown and unfound. He cared about Rogers, he cared about her, but a part of his brain shoved those feelings aside. He couldn’t register the look in her eyes; and he couldn’t predict the regret his words would cause as soon as he said them.
“Oh come on, let’s stop pretending that that’s not actually what you’re worried about. You want to waste your time finding Steve now, wherever the hell he is, so you don’t have to deal with what’s in front of you. You were a kid on a battlefield, out of your wits, and you said shit you wish you could take back. You shouldn’t have been there--you weren’t strong enough to handle that situation and you had a tantrum. You can’t change the past, so you might as well move the hell forward.”
And like that, his words catapulted her back to memories she was desperate to forget.
~ The troop returned from the train mission late at night.
The men had stayed relatively quiet. When they lost someone, it was common for them to close off into themselves. What was there to say? Eyes bloodshot and brimmed with tears, Steve was the last to leave the truck. It was no surprise that Y/N was waiting for them at the gate, she always was. She wasted no time in running to him, and hugging him tightly. “Oh my god, I was so worried about you Stevie.” She continued to fret as she patted him down, checking for any wounds. “You’re all here, in one piece!” She laughed softly, “I still can’t get used to--” She looked over his face, noticing his usual light and vigor was gone. Gone wasn’t even the right word… it hadn’t disappeared, or vanished. It was taken, drained, ripped away from him. He looked like a ghost. “Steve, what's wrong?” Silence made her uneasy. She looked at the soldiers passing them, then over Steve’s shoulder at the truck. She noticed. Her smile faded. “Where’s Bucky?” The name made Steve’s breath catch in his throat, a shaky rise of his shoulders as he inhaled. “Y/N…” She stepped back. “Steve.” She recognized the look in his eyes; years ago by a freshly buried grave of his mother. At her bedside while she mourned her father, his tears accompanying hers in shared sorrow. It was the eyes of loss. No. “We were on the train.” His jaw hitched as he searched for words, his mouth dry as he swallowed. “They were shooting at us, he hid. He was hanging on to the car door.” He couldn’t look at her. She couldn’t look anywhere but him. “I tried.” He reached for her, like he was reaching for Bucky. “I tried Y/N, I tried. But I couldn’t--I couldn't reach him.” His hand gripped tightly at the buttons of her shirt. “He fell.” Snow fell softly around them, and the base seemed to fall quiet. Her hand smacked his away. His head lifted at the contact, and he realized he couldn’t recognize the woman in front of him. He didn’t know then how that face would haunt his memories for years to come. Her fists pounded against his chest. Steve stepped back as her pummels came, her voice a scream. “You were supposed to keep him safe, he’s not like you. He can’t fucking--he’s not invincible. He’s not some goddamn science freak. You don’t get hurt. You let him--you selfish bastard.” “Y/N, please.” Steve’s lip trembled, his eyes begging. Please understand. “How dare you, he’s gone. He’s gone and it’s your fault.” Her palm stung against his face. “I hate you. I fucking hate you Steve.” Suddenly Dugan peeled her off, they hadn’t even noticed he’d stood back in horror… watching them. He hauled her away screaming and crying, while Steve stood in the falling snow. Watching frozen as he lost both of his best friends in a matter of hours.
~
It had been the last time they saw each other before he went into the ice.
It washed over sickeningly slow; creeping through her body like winter frost. Seeing Steve, the regret in painful nostalgia, the sting of Howard’s words.
She had to remind herself to breathe.
She wasn’t crying, she wasn’t angry. There was no pounding heart or shaky breaths. Just stillness.
In seeing that calm, that unsettling reserve, Howard had never felt more guilty.
He wanted her to scream, he wanted her to tell him off. That he was a jackass, he’d gone too far. Because he had. He wanted to take it back more than anything.
But there wasn’t any of that.
“I should go.”
Neither of the men tried to stop her.
~
Y/N wasn’t a fan of driving at night. Mostly due to the fact that her route home consisted of hidden backroads to keep SHIELD projects and agents as off the radar as possible, the dirt roads had sparse lighting and shit levelling. On a late night, it was an accident waiting to happen.
Tonight she didn’t care; her mind was closed off from taking in her surroundings. Howard’s words had rendered her blank, she didn’t know what to think or how to feel. Other than the aching and disgusting feeling that Howard, in some way, was right.
The radio didn’t help, so she drove in silence until she arrived at her apartment.
The stairs were a million miles long.
She kicked off her heels as she perched her legs up on the coffee table, clicking the remote as she settled into her sulking position.
She was miserable.
And angry.
Two very different emotions, Y/N had learned. But they did pair beautifully together.
Of course, there was nothing that hit as good as Doris Day and a bottle of bourbon.
She had it tucked beside the couch for emergencies like this. She handled it with purpose, at this point she didn’t know what else could make her feel better.
She tried zoning in on the happy show, Doris smiling brightly and laughing with ease.
Must be nice, she thought.
The plot was lost on Y/N as she threw back mouthful after mouthful, she’d finally given up when the credits rolled.
She leaned her head back against the cushion, a heavy sigh leaving her.
Howard was wrong.
She wasn’t scared of seeing Steve, she wasn’t trying to waste time.
She wanted to take back all she’d said, all she had done to him. She wanted him by her side.
It was the opposite; she wanted Steve now.
If Steve was out there; somehow still alive, oh god.
The desperation she felt forming inside of her was unbearable. She would tear apart cities, destroy mountains, carve Steve’s name into the earth if it meant finding him now. Alive.
She wanted Steve back now, at this moment. Not in some experimentation for decades, not in some futile attempt of bringing her whatever future mirage of Steve she’d seen.
She wanted her Steve back.
If they were going to spend all their time and resources on finding, whatever the hell they had discovered today, she would rather use it all to find the Steve of the present.
She battled with herself; the logic served that that would destroy everything of the present. However future Steve came to be, they couldn’t interfere with that. Something needed to stay constant for Steve to exist as he did; or didn’t exist.
“Fuck sakes,” she mumbled.
It was all so confusing. Her mind was racing in all directions; she just needed to get this out. On paper, hell even in conversation.
But the two she normally talked science with had pissed her off to no end tonight, the woman Y/N confided in for most things couldn’t be brought in the loop this soon, and…
Well, her two best friends were dead. Though one’s death status was now up for debate.
It was moments like this that it really hurt, not having her boys at her side.
Steve was grounding; stable. He broke down things for you, turned the question back on you so you gave yourself the advice. He was a common sense filter. And she needed that more than anything right now.
“C’mon Ace, you know what to do. Just spell it out for us.”
She smiled at the thought, a nickname reserved for special occasions when Steve wanted to emphasize just how dumb she was for a smart ass.
She liked that about Steve, he never made her feel like she bit off more than she could chew. He knew she was smart, he knew she was capable. He just had to remind her of that sometimes.
It seemed like him and Bucky were the only two that really saw the depth of her back then.
Then Y/N’s heart pulled in another way…
Bucky.
Her nostrils flared as the tears welled up in her eyes.
He would’ve held her tight, he would’ve ran all over town to do what needed to get done; anything to fix the problem. Anything to see her happy again.
He always made her feel like she had the world in the palm of her hands. And even if it wasn’t, it was hers for the taking. In his eyes, she could do anything she set her mind to.
He knew she could do it all on her own too; but what kind of man would he be if he wasn't doing everything in his power to give her the life she deserved?
She could feel his arms around her, lips pressed against her forehead as he mumbled against her skin.
“It’s alright Duckie, we’ll figure it out. Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing…”
She choked back a sob with another swig of the bottle, the bitter taste bringing forward another memory.
She spat out the liquid onto her carpet, a dumb and loud laugh following it.
God, she was going crazy.
She never knew how they did it; but even in thought, those boys could take her from sad to happy in mere seconds.
The warm memory was welcome… needed even.
~ Damn that dumb Dottie, she thought, that stupid Vivian.
Y/N had been a frustrated mess since she’d seen them; she wished she’d never gone to the shop this late.
They always found a way to weasel under her skin; and of course they chose the sweet spot.
“Didn’t you hear honey? Your boys are taking us to the big boxing match tonight… such a shock you aren’t coming.”
She pulled the paper bag tighter into her chest.
“You know, I’ve always found it so…” Dottie chose her words carefully, “Cute how you follow those boys around. Like a little sister.”
The girls had chuckled to themselves. Dottie never meant nice words as a compliment; it was like a joke you were never in on, always the subject of…
“And your little pet name for him? Jimmy? I’ve never heard something so adorable.” Her words were laced with arsenic, “Like a grade school crush, just so innocent.”
So naive.
She hadn’t said it, but that’s how Y/N heard it.
She was so in her head, she hadn’t seen the man in front of her.
The bump was gentle, but enough to startle them both. “Oh! Sir, I’m so--”
Looking up and seeing the friendly face, her senses came to her.
“Stevie!”
She felt her spirits brighten, it was just the man she’d needed at a time like this.
He smiled at the realization that it was her, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
It had been another failed date for Steve Rogers, and he had intended to sulk alone. Maybe draw the Brooklyn street from their apartment… for the hundredth time in his book. Walking back, he’d never imagined running into her. “What are you doing here? I thought you n’ Jimmy were going to the fight tonight.” “Well…” Steve started, “We were. But Bucky ended up bringing a few gals along, said they were talking it up at the post office n’... thought a date would be fun. My partner wasn’t too keen on seeing me unfortunately.” Y/N grimaced, Vivian and Dottie.
He saw her face fall as he brought up a “date”, but quickly she snapped back up. Vicious girls. She thought, Vicious, vicious girls. Damn them, Stevie was dish and she believed that with every inch of her heart. He was kind, and smart, and honest, and as interesting as the starry night sky. All you had to do was get to know him. These girls never gave him a chance. And Jimmy… She felt angry as she thought of him. Jimmy was no help. “Well she’s a fool.” Y/n said, “In fact all girls are fools if they pass you up.” Steve scoffed, “You’re being sweet.” “I can still be truthful while bein’ sweet Stevie. Don’t go callin’ me a liar.” She waved with her free hand, motioning him to follow her. Steve smiled softly, he liked how Y/N teased. She never pitied him when he was down, only ever ushering him to pick himself back up. “I’d never.” He said, which he meant. “I don’t forgive the offenses you’ve laid on me tonight.” She slid her hand into the crook of his elbow, walking arm in arm up the busy evening street. The motion caught a few eyes, this small block as nosy as it had ever been. Often Y/N and the notorious duo were the gossip of their little community, though Brooklyn was miles wide these people made it feel like a tiny town. “Oh no,” he teased, “How could I ever make it up to you?” Her smile was devilish as she looked at him. “Well the night’s still young! Can’t let it go to waste. Maybe you and I can have a date of our own.” Steve took a glance around, his smirk matching hers. “You sure that’s a wise idea?” Steve knew Y/N well enough to know it wasn’t a true date, he wouldn’t want that anyways. She was family to him; he saw her differently. But the town didn’t know that. “Why not?” She asked, her voice going low. “Everyone thinks we’re soon to be hitched anyways, on account of us being roommates n’ all.” Her eyes were devious as she whispered in his ear, a risky action on account of their audience. “Don’t you think we should actually give ‘em something worth talking about?” Though Steve was seen as a bit of a square around town,  there was a hidden hellion within him. Y/N knew it all too well, and had taken advantage many times. If the town was already talking, there wasn’t anything they could do to change their minds. Might as well do whatever the hell they wanted. Plus, even though it wasn’t really Buck’s fault, this potentially could itch that scratch for payback. “What did you have in mind?” He asked. She peeked over her shoulder, before she rolled down the edge of the crinkled paper bag. “Y/N!” He closed it quickly as she erupted in a fit of giggles “Are you crazy? That’s illegal.” She rolled her eyes, “Crazy is another word for fun! Besides, it’s not like we're gonna get caught.” Steve shook his head as they continued walking, how in the hell did the Brooklyn angel get moonshine?! “How’d you even get that?” She shrugged, “Market Marcus said he’d get me some as a favor for the flowers I grew for his Mama.” Y/N grew a small garden for some extra bucks on the side; and their neighbours were more than happy to spare a penny or two for fresh cut flowers, or the occasional vegetable. But in this case it likely wasn’t just for the flowers, Market Marcus had been sweet on Y/N for ages. “You’re out of your wits girl.” He said. She groaned as she swung in front of him, halting him in his step. “C’mon Stevie! Let’s have a good time; a couple of sips… some dancing. We grab a late bite to eat. It’ll be a gas.” Steve sighed. She made it so hard to say no.... And god would it be fun. Her brows raised as she watched Steve smile. “McGee’s is open ‘til midnight…” ~ Bucky could barely hear the round bell ringing over the men’s hooting and hollering. The two girls cheered and clapped as the fighters took their corners. Dottie looked up at Bucky, “Gosh this is amazing. Thanks for bringing us Bucky.” Bucky flashed a smile, “Anytime doll, every girl deserves a good night on the town.” Dottie blushed as she tucked away a loose curl. “Um..” She started, flustered. “Would you mind grabbin’ Viv and I a couple drinks? We’re awful thirsty.” He looked over the crowd, hoping to see Stevie somewhere in it. He guessed he’d left on account of Vivian being rather-- Bucky tried to think of a gentlemanly term. --Disinterested. But it couldn’t taking a quick runaround to find him. Grabbing drinks would give him a decent chance. “Sure thing doll, be back before the next bell.” He tapped under her chin gently, and suddenly Dottie was all smiles. She waved sweetly as he left the girls in their seats, weaving through the crowd of people. He stumbled slightly as a group of boys playfully roughoused, the man knocking Bucky nack a step. “Sorry pal,” the man said, “Wasn’t watching ya.” “S’alright,” Bucky started, before he recognized the man. “Sal!” He cheered, “Can’t believe the wife let you out for once.” Sal grinned at the joke, “Aw Bucky you know me, can’t tame this stallion.” Bucky laughed happily, clapping the man on the shoulder. “Good to see you buddy-- hey, you seen Steve around?” The man raised a brow at him, “He left a bit ago, Buck.” Bucky’s lip raised, shrugging a shoulder. “Ah figures, shoulda known--” The man wiped his lip before interrupting him. “Yeah, he’s out with your girl! Mister L/N’s daughter.” Bucky made a face. He must not have heard him right. “Y/N?” “Mhm,” Sal whistled slowly at the thought. “Boy did she grow up to be a pretty thing, huh? Wish I was in Rogers shoes right now, you know what I mea--” Something in Bucky's face told him to stop talking. Bucky’s jaw clenched, as his eyes flicked to the time on a far wall. It was well past midnight; if Steve and Y/N were still the talk at this time, that meant nothing but trouble. “Where are they?” He asked, his voice flat. Sal pulled at his collar; not keen on telling Barnes what he’d heard. “Last I heard… was uh--heading down to the docks. They stopped at McGee’s for dancin’... looked a bit buzzed leaving if I’m being truthful.” Bucky’s lip was tight, “Yeah?” Sal gulped. “Yessir, arm and arm. Guess they’re on a bender tonight.” He laughed awkwardly, desperately wanting to break the tension. “The boys and I were jokin’ that, uh--looking like that they’d end up hitched tomorrow. Funny huh?” Sal laughed again, but stopped. Bucky did not agree. Clearly. Barnes clapped Sal’s shoulder again, a little rougher this time. “Thanks Sal, I’ll see you around.” Bucky couldn’t leave the building fast enough, his mind so clouded with jealousy he’d forgotten all about Dottie and her drinks. ~ CLANG The two were stupid drunk; giggling loudly as Y/N raised her hand to throw another rock.
“Jeez, what the hell are we doing?” Steve asked, cheeks rosy from the drunkenness.
Y/N stumbled slightly, the overshot of raising her arm pulling her back. Steve caught her as she laughed.
“We’re having fun!”
She whipped the rock at the sign, another loud clang echoing in the empty harbour.
Which was how Bucky found the two.
“What in God’s name are you two doing?”
They both turned at the voice, immediately erupting in happy cries.
“Bucky!” Y/N yelled.
Bucky watched as the two clambered towards him; his arms crossed as they approached.
“It’s after hours; you two could get in a shit ton of trouble.”
“Agh!” Steve said, which wasn’t much of a response. Or much of anything really. He’d meant it to be playfully dismissive, but his clouded brain couldn’t articulate thought to action.
Bucky’s brows pulled, “I’m serious. Do you know how far your little bender has gotten in this town?”
Y/N placed a hand on his crossed arm, still laughing at some joke that was lost on them all.
“Bucky it’s fine!” She reassured. “Look, we're tryna scrape off the paint of the DANGER sign. Make it say “DANG”.” She giggled in an intoxicating way… Bucky hated himself for revelling at how her fingertips gripped his forearm. “DANG! Bucky…” She trailed off as she continued giggling, while Steve mimicked Bucky’s reprimanding stance. “C’mon Buck,” Steve drawled, “we’re just havin’ fun. Lighten up.”
Barnes scoffed at his friend, “Well if you’re telling me to lighten up then I know I'm a hardass.” The two laughed, and much to Bucky’s frustration, he found his reserve starting to dwindle.
He wanted to be mad at them, he wanted to lecture them on how stupid they had been tonight.
But Steve was happy, loose even. Which was rare.
And Y/N was…
Well.
Y/N was herself; bright and beaming. Pulling you in without trying, convincing you in a way only a siren could manage.
He hadn’t even realized she’d been holding the bottle this whole time.
She tipped the bottle to him, waving in slowly in front of his face.
“You know you want to.”
The words drawled slowly from her lips, like syrup drizzling from a bottle. Eyes with a slight glaze, smirk lazy. She batted her lashes unintentionally… Before he knew it he was reaching for the bottle. His other hand clasped gently around her wrist. He took the bottle without breaking eye contact, his face far too close to be gentlemanly. “Alright, but only if you promise to behave yourself.” “You know me Bucky,” she smiled, “always on my best behaviour.” Bucky felt the hair on his neck rise. Hell… “Y/N!” Steve suddenly shouted, “We need more huckin’ rocks. For that gosh-DANG sign.” She snorted, her attention now back on their previous, and very important, mission.
“We do! Bucky, put yourself to good use. Help find some rocks.” He sighed as he watched the two wander off down the dock, looking for loose stones. He felt like a big brother hauling two little siblings around town. Entertaining with rocks off all things. He obliged in following them, subconsciously sticking closer to Y/N as she searched. He’d never seen her this far gone before. Bucky hated to admit it; but he wished he had been here the whole night. Forgetting the fight, forgetting the girls… he wished he’d been having fun with this rambunctious lot. He couldn’t help but snarl as he thought of Sal’s words. He’d watched how Y/N had stumbled back into Steve’s arms; laughing and smiling like they were the light of each other’s worlds. Should’ve been me, he thought. Boozing' it up with his best girl and his best friend; being the talk of the town at this late hour. Her voice startled him. “Did ya have fun?” She asked innocently. Bucky paused as he kicked some broken box from his path, sipping at the bitter moonshine.
“I did, until I heard you two were causin’ trouble.”
It meant to come out as a tease, but it sounded like blatant jealousy. Y/N didn’t notice.
“You must have the wrong people Bucky, Steve and I would do no such thing.”
He had taken note of the accented syllable of his name, the common name he was referred to by people on the street. It felt sour coming from her.
“What’s with the ‘Bucky’ tonight?” He asked.
She looked up from the ground, swaying slightly. “How do you mean?”
He scoffed. “You’re--”
The noise made her stop. She turned to him too sharply, offended by being the subject of it. Her stare felt like a dare, calling him out on his anger. What could he possibly have to be mad about? He was the one...
They stayed like that for a moment, looking at each other with a dulled tension. Nothing was wrong… really. But it was. “You keep saying ‘Bucky’,” He started, “No ‘James’...”
She couldn’t keep herself from stopping him. “Well that’s your name isn’t it?” Now she sounded bitter, turning away to look for more stones. “Find any Steve?” She called out. “No luck!” He answered. Bucky looked up to check if he’d wandered too far, looking back when he saw he was safely crawling along the concrete harbour floor. “Hey,” Bucky’s voice was soft as he reached for her arm, turning her to face him. She faced him with a scowl. Bucky’s face was serious, and even Y/N in her drunken state could see he was genuinely hurt. She softened at his eyes. Those big blue eyes... “You always call me Jimmy. Or James. You rarely call me anything else… especially when it’s just us.” She looked down at her hands, her thumb gentle scraping at the other… She was being childish. And thinking back to Dottie’s words… she’d hated that in some weird way, she felt like she had proven her right. She wasn’t a kid, she was a grown woman. She didn’t need to prove that to anyone. But sometimes it felt like it. She wanted people to see her as strong, mature, an adult. When she was with these boys and the whole town was watching, it was hard to not to feel insignificant. But it really shouldn’t have mattered what they thought. The three had never cared before. She tried not to care. But when it came to Bucky… For some reason it was harder. “Well....” She wanted to say this right; she didn't want to hurt him. That was never what she wanted. She’d tried to do something right. “It’s just awfully intimate, isn’t it?” she said, looking up at him, “Calling you by something no one else does…” She thought of what the girls said about her, and about what anyone in this town ever might say about the two of them. “...I wouldn’t want to be messing somethin’ up for you. You’re, well you’re a grown man. Good man, a handsome man… and if there’s someone special out there for you…. It’d just be selfish of me, wouldn’t it?” He knew the pull of her lip into the slight pout was unintentional. But it moved him just the same. Be selfish, he thought, Be selfish all you want. Take any part of me you need, my first name, my last. Anything’s yours if you want it to be. But he didn’t say that. He couldn’t. “Well it’s no different than me calling you Duckie, is it?” She smiled, “No, I guess not.” He was right, there wasn’t any difference. But that meant everything; it meant exactly what she’d said it was. Intimacy… someone special calling you something no one else could. It was more than just a name. CLANG “I FOUND HUCKIN’ ROCKS!” At Steve’s objection, she turned and laughed. She pulled Bucky along with her towards their drunken friend. “Just don’t wanna be causin’ any more trouble than necessary.” She looked over her shoulder, eyes genuine. “I think you’ve failed at that doll.” She turned to shove him at the tease, stumbling as he took her arms and pulled her into him. His hold was strong, as if letting go would let her escape from him for forever. “You’re always gonna be special Y/N, no one else is taking that away.” She felt as he kissed the top of her head, leaning into his chest. “Damn right I’m special.” She whispered. Her hands travelled delicately along his back, and the same feeling he’d had when she waved the bottle in front of him came back. Goosebumps littered his body. Bucky shuddered. He blamed the cold. She snatched the bottle from his hand, giggling as she pulled from his arms. She laughed as she sauntered away, leaving Bucky smiling before he chased after her. “I’m especial-ly good at huckin’ these rocks!” She cried.
The whole night they chucked until the dented sign hung, barely within an inch of its life. Drinking, laughing, holding each other.
She thanked Steve for the best date of her life.
And at that moment: it didn’t matter what the town was saying, what Dottie had to say, it didn’t matter where Y/N was going in the future and it didn’t matter what would happen to the three. She would aways have her boys at her side, and they would always be the most important thing to each other. In the end they’d always have each other, they’d always be with each other til’ the end of the line.
~ She felt the emptiness of the apartment harder than she ever had before.
Y/N knew she couldn’t avoid this moment; the divine opportunity that was placed so perfectly in her hands.
You have to.
She stood from her spot, quickly grabbing her keys from the counter. Though far too drunk to drive, she was determined.
She flicked the lights off and stepped out the door, not realizing just how much she was about to leave behind.  
___________
Part 4
Series Masterlist
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buckysbabygorl · 3 years
Text
A Stitch In Time (Part 2)
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Summary: More memories are reflected on from the past; but not by Steve or Bucky, by someone else...
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: mentions of war, swearing
Word Count: 3.5K
Masterlist
Part 1
Part 3
~
It was a Tuesday, she was running late, as usual.
She knew she was getting the call any minute now. Did she still have time to stop at the bank?
Quickly she zipped up the back of her dress. She didn’t have time to do her hair, maybe she could get away with yesterday’s leftover blow out.
Or should she put it up?
She jumped as the phone rang, snatching her shoes from her floor as she raced into her living room. She stumbled as she slipped her right heel on, reaching for the phone before the ringing stopped.
“Y/N speaking,” she said, fumbling with her left heel.
“Oh I was hoping to catch your voicemail, as you should already be on your way.” 
The ice in Peggy’s voice could not be missed.
Y/N smirked into the receiver, “I couldn’t leave just yet, how could I start my day without one of your lovely wake up calls?”
“Funny,” though her tone was cold, Y/N knew that she’d cracked a smile through the phone. “Are you decent?”
“Always am,” Y/N held the phone against her shoulder, the rotary in one hand with lipstick in the other. She made a face as she applied it in the mirror, words mumbled;
“What’s on our itinerary today?”
“Well,” Peggy started, “I’m actually happy I caught you before you left. I need you at Leigh today.”
Y/N groaned, “You’re kidding.”
“I’m not.”
She rolled her eyes as she turned away from the mirror, placing the rotary back on her side table as she rummaged through her purse.
“I hate the guys there: all spazzed out that they’re in ‘the birthplace of Captain America’, Steve wasn’t even born there you know—”
“You can save the rant for someone that hasn’t heard it,” Peggy interrupted, “Doctor Pym asked for you; you won’t have to deal with the soldiers today.”
Where the hell’s my ID? Y/N thought. She quickly placed her hand on her chest, checking to feel the rigid beading of the chain and trailing down to the two silver plates. She never forgot those.
“Hank? He never needs help.”
“Well today he does; something about an IQEM?”
Y/N stopped. An increased quantum energy measurement… big enough that Hank was asking her to come in.
“Alright, I’ll get in there as soon as I can. Want me to pick up coffee?”
“Tea, two sugars.”
Y/N chuckled, “Goddamn Brit.”
~
“Thank you, for letting me, be myself, again.”
Y/N sang along softly to the song as she pulled up to the chain link fence. She glared at the base sign, hoping to burn a hole through it.
United States Army, Camp Leigh Army Base
78th Infantry Division
“The Birthplace of Captain America”
“My ass.” She muttered 
It pissed Y/N off; Steve still being used as a motivator, as an “idea”. You’d think after all these years, Nixon would have pushed for a new hero, a new reason to keep fighting for that wasn’t a beefed up Brooklyn boy.
But you just couldn’t get rid of the classics.
She smiled, I guess it was for good reason they had. That boy loved this country; true golden boy, a lover and a fighter.
She flipped down her visor, looking at the photo she’d tucked fondly in her mirror flap. There sat her two favorite boys; suited up with the rest of the howling commandos.
She kissed her thumb, and pressed it lightly to the photo.
~
Peggy had sent her an escort as soon as communication had been lost with Steve; with Bucky and him nowhere to be found, no report made on ETA -- the fear in the two women was growing.
Her eyes were darkened from the lack of sleep; her hair disheveled and falling from her braids. Her uniform had been unkempt from the long trip to the base. She couldn’t wait a second longer; she hopped out of the back of the military truck before it had stopped. She could hear the driver calling at her to come back.
“Like hell,” she mumbled to herself, “Hey!”
A group of soldiers' heads turned towards her, halting in their tracks. The base had been in a flurry at the announcement of their missing soldiers, but the presence of a new dame on the base could not be missed.
A man tipped his hat to her, “Evening Miss, how can we help you?”
“I need to find Agent Carter; she said she’d meet me at the front gates--the boys; has anythin’ been heard from the boys?”
The men shook their heads; no developments had been made in the disappearance and unauthorized rescue operation of the team.
“No one from the 107 returned?”
They bowed their heads solemnly, once again shaking their heads no. Y/N felt herself start to cry, where was Peggy? Why hadn’t Steve responded?
“Y/N? Y/N!”
The young woman whipped around at the call of her name, aggressively pushing away the stray tears that had fallen.
“Miss Carter!”
The men stood in salute at the appearance of Agent Carter, who was now darting straight for Y/N, she near sprinted to her
“Why didn’t you wait at the gates? I said I would meet you there--”
“--Why did Stevie go? Why couldn’t he just wait--why didn’t they send in a platoon? Why was there no rescue mission--”
The young girl was frantic for answers, but composed herself at seeing Peggy’s glare of disappointment. Y/N disobeyed an order; she knew that she could get in a lot of trouble for that.
“--I couldn’t wait, I told him to go through. I told him it was your direct order...”
Her bottom lip trembled; cheeks wind bitten from the storm that edged closer and closer above the frantic base.
“--I’m scared Peggy.”
Peggy sighed, scooping the young girl into her arms. “Stop lying to my soldiers.”
Her reprimand fell too softly to be serious. Carter’s heart had grown far too fond of the girl for her own good; and her rank in superiority had now shifted into a love that even sisters would have envied.
“Peggy, what if they don’t come back? What am I gonna do?”
“Everything’s going to be fine Y/N, they’ll be back soon.”
Y/N cried into Peggy’s shoulder, and the men watching turned away at the display of affection. It hurt enough that their buddies may not be coming home; watching a broken hearted woman was too much to bear.
“What if they’re gone? What if Jimmy’s gone? I didn’t even get to say goodbye--”
“Don’t talk like that; there’s still a chance they’ll come back. We’re going to get you settled and I’ll explain everything.”
Peggy released her, rubbing her shoulders gently as Y/N nodded in response. She needed to calm down; she knew that. She tried to explain to Peggy as she led her into the main tent; she was just so tired, she was cold, she was scared to shit. She hadn’t eaten in hours…
Peggy knew all of this already; it was written all over her. 
“Let’s get you fixed up. Come on.”
After a clean replacement male uniform; a bowl of warm soup; a cup of shitty coffee; and a few tears later, Y/N had calmed down. Peggy explained what Steve had heard; that they’d planned a drop off with Stark; and that Steve was meant to contact him when they could. But it had been hours since then, no word. 
“Someone threw tomatoes at Stevie? I’ll kill ‘em.”
“They don’t take him seriously out here; we both know that should be different.”
Y/N shook her head as she sipped from her mug; “Now he’s out trying to prove he’s a soldier. I’m gonna kick his ass when I see him.”
“Y/N-”
She rose a hand to Peggy, “I know, I know. Sorry Miss Carter, lost my manners.”
Peggy smiled, “The formality isn’t necessary.”
The young woman nodded in response, mind still racing about the boys. Stevie never shoulda’ entered that program, and Jimmy…. Oh god. Jimmy.
She buried her head in her hands, temples aching. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She couldn’t lose her Daddy and her favorite boys… not all so soon.
“Agent Carter.” A voice said.
A young soldier appeared at their table; saluting before making his report.
“Colonel Phillips wishes to see you immediately; in regards to the 107th… they need the surveillance flight reports—they’re sending out letters to the next of kin and Senator Brandt.”
“What?!” Y/N interjected.
“Y/N, at ease.” Peggy warned.
“No! They can’t give up on our boys; not yet.”
Peggy’s lip pulled, a stern look on her face as she took in her words. Neither of them wanted to admit it but this may be the end.
“Escort me to him, please.”
As Peggy stood, Y/N started to rise. Peggy pointed a finger at her and motioned for her to sit back down.
“Stay here. That’s an order.”
Y/N frowned deeply, but sat in her seat. She’d been out of line in front of a fellow soldier; and grief aside, she couldn’t disrespect Peggy like that.
Peggy’s shoulders dropped, angry tension fading. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Y/N listened; waiting there patiently for Peggy to return. But it couldn’t be helped when she rose to her feet as a crowd of soldiers came marching back to base.
“Let’s hear it for Captain America!”
The soldiers around them cheered for their new found leader; a beacon of hope of what seemed to be the darkest times of the war. Now maybe, just maybe, America had a fighting chance.
The boys crowded one another then, Bucky getting lost in the group of howling commandos. He didn’t see a little figure beelining through the platoon.
“Hey!”
Steve knew that voice anywhere; he quickly turned away from Peggy at the sound of it. There she was; hellion on wheels Miss Y/N L/N pushing through soldiers twice her size. The ones that saw her stepped back real quick; whether out of fear or admiration was up for debate.
“What the hell do you think you’re doin’? Running off playing cadets like some superhero; you could’ve gotten yourself killed!”
Steve couldn’t believe his eyes; weeks of being without his family and now here they were. His hands reached out to her, quickly picking her up and swinging her about in the commotion.
“Y/N? Oh my god--”
He didn’t get far in greeting her before she was reprimanding him like usual; she swatted at his hands as he set her down, before she raised a finger to his face.
“Stop it! You think just cuz you’re a foot n’ such taller you can go around getting shot whenever you damn well please? I’m not havin’ it Stevie!”
Steve couldn’t help but smile; “I can’t believe you’re here.”
Peggy laughed while Y/N continued to berate the new Captain; unaware that she had now attracted quite the audience with her loudness.
“Oh don’t you get all sweet on me now; I have enough mind to kick you from Hoboken to Spokane Mister Star Spangled.”
The boys laughed at the nickname; Steve couldn’t help but join in. He grabbed her hands, still happy but becoming serious for a moment.
“I’m sorry Y/N, you know I had to--”
“--I know.” She said, “But you gotta promise you’ll come back in one piece each time. And don’t do anythin’ stupid--”
She was interrupted by the call of her name.
“Y/N?”
The familiar voice pulled Y/N’s attention from Steve.
There he stood: disheveled, dirty, bruised eye and all scratched up. Beaten bad, the lord knows what was done to him, staring at the most beautiful girl in the world. 
His girl. His best girl. His only girl...
In the warzone.
Like. Fucking. Hell.
“Y/N--” He felt his protective instincts grow; the next thing he knew he was yelling something fierce. “--The hell are you doing here.”
Immediately her fire lit, stomping over to show Sargeant 107 the tongue lashing of the century.
“And YOU! You’re lucky you didn’t die out there or Ida’ KILLED you myself.” 
A few other fellas turned; whistling at the sight before them. A pretty girl and a screamin’ match? They hadn’t had this much entertainment in months
“ME?” Bucky replied, “What about YOU!? You said you’d be with the SSR safe and sound. I don’t want you out here you know that.”
Just like that they were back at it; same as the day they’d first met, same as the day Bucky had learnt she was leaving for the war too. Same as any other day back in Brooklyn. Steve couldn’t help but laugh at the two.
Y/N paid no mind to Steve Rogers; he’d gotten enough of a lickin’ as it is.
They now had attracted the attention of all the returning soldiers; shocked that THE James Buchanan Barnes was getting yelled at by this mysterious little beauty.
“Don’t you ever, EVER, scare me like that again Jimmy. Don’t you dare. Either of you do something like that again I’m taking you back to Brooklyn --dunno how I’ll do it but I’ll damn well try.”
A shocked voice came from the crowd; “Jimmy?”
The boys around them snickered at the pet name, and Bucky felt himself blush. Now with seeing how upset she was; he couldn’t help but go soft. He shouldn’a raised his voice at her...
“Y/N please--”
“No. It’s not supposed to be you.” She raised a hand out to the crowd of men; “It’s not supposed to be any of you. Someone’s waitin’ at home for you; you can’t go out doing something stupid. You don’t do that, you stay safe and stay put.”
“Duckie I don’t have control over where they put me--”
“Duckie!” Another voice said.
“Duckie? Barnes is this the gal you’ve been talking about?”
“So this is the dame you've been writing letters to.”
Now all the boys were hootin’ and hollerin’, chiming in and peeking over one another to finally meet the girl that had captured all of Barnes’ attention.
“The Y/N?” A friendly voice asked, pushing through the crowd. Upon seeing her; he recognized her from her picture. Clearly the photo had shown she was pretty, but certainly not that pretty.
“Awe doll don’t be so hard on him; he’s been cryin’ over your photo since he got here.” Dum Dum teased.
“Oh shut up Dum Dum.” Bucky quipped.
The men laughed at Dum Dum’s comment while her brows raised at the comment; just how much talking had Jimmy done?
“You didn’t tell us how pretty she was—whoo wee!” Another man called.
Now it was Y/N’s turn to blush; realizing she now had the attention of the whole platoon. Seeing her go small and shy, Bucky placed a hand on Y/N’s shoulder. She felt her anger lessen, she could never stay mad at him. And as scared as she had been... he was safe. He still came back. That’s all that mattered.
Y/N threw herself into his arms, nearly knocking him over from the force. In seconds his arms curled around her; he couldn’t help it. He really had missed her; he wasn’t going to wreck their first meeting after so long.
“You can’t leave me Jimmy, you promised.”
Holding her tightly, he kissed the top of her head.
“I know baby, I know. I’m not going anywhere.”
Again a chorus of whistles came from the crowd, and Y/N couldn’t help but smile and laugh along. Bucky smiled at the familiar sound; music to his ears after the hell he’d been through.
She turned back to Steve, motioning him to come over, and taking his hand.
“Look you two can’t go off like that again. You promise?”
She looked between the boys; who smiled to each other with shaking heads. With her here, they’d never be able to pull something like that again.
“Promise.”
“Awe,” Dum Dum said, saddling up beside the trio, “how sweet.”
He clapped the backs of his two fellow soldiers; before taking the little lady’s hand in his.
“Timothy Aloysius Cadwallader Dugan’s the name, but everyone calls me Dum Dum, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
She giggled sweetly; and as Dum Dum swooned, the boys could predict how fast the rest of the guys would fall in line for her.
“Pleasures all mine.”
He beamed with a toothy grin, sending a mischievous eye back to Barnes. “It was ‘Duckie’, wasn’t it?”
“Watch it,” Barnes warned, half jokingly.
She tugged at Bucky’s sleeve, she could hold her own.
“Oh well I don’t know you well enough for you to be calling me Duckie, that’s only reserved for my Jimmy here.”
Dum Dum whistled, “Lucky man he is. Guess I’ll just have to call you every other name in the book.”
“Hey!” Bucky tried to warn his pal again, but Dum Dum was too quick for him.
“Hell, any friend of Rogers’ and Barnes’ is a friend of ours.” He nodded back to the crowd of men still celebrating their return. “You staying long darlin’?”
“Well that hasn’t been sorted out yet...”
She looked to Peggy, who had been watching the three intently. The woman sighed at the sight before her; she knew this could be trouble, what with all three rebels in one place that could be hard to handle. But with that sweet pleading smile from Y/N, and those bright blue eyes of a certain super soldier looking back at her, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to pull them apart now.
“I’m sure I, and our Captain America can pull a few strings.” She smiled cheekily at Steve, and with that they knew they weren’t being kept apart from this point on.
~
“Lost, miss?”
Her jaw clenched at the implication, and she glanced through her peripherals at the man leaning down into her car window.
“No.”
He smirked as he nodded to her passenger seat, her purse slightly open. “ID, doll?”
Y/N flipped up her visor, turning to the inquiring soldier as she pulled her wallet from her purse.
He was fresh faced and smug, Y/N didn’t miss the once over he gave her. She made sure he didn’t miss her glare as she handed over her badge.
As he scanned the details, his face fell.
“Forgive me, Agent L/N. I’m—”
“-wasting my time.” She finished for him, swiping back her card. “I’m here on urgent orders?”
“Right, right. They told me you’d be coming. I’ll give you an escort.”
Cups in hand and purse over her shoulder, she pushed open her car door, slightly tapping the soldier and forcing him to stumble back. 
“No thanks,” she smiled dryly at him as she slammed the door shut, “Park it.”
The young man fumbled to find his words, before waving a hand at the guard, signalling him to let her in.
The guard laughed as he pulled back the gate, “Morning Agent L/N.”
“Morning Larry, tell that punk to call me Agent L/N too. Get me the name of his superior, like hell he calls me doll again.”
The guard laughed again, “Yes ma’am.”
She strode confidently through the base, the two men watching her fleeting figure.
Larry turned back to the soldier, who had now settled himself in her drivers seat.
He fumbled with the keys, nervously.
“Hey!” Larry called.
The boy looked up, and Larry smiled.
“Don’t scratch that car, or you’ll be off the base by tomorrow.”
~
“Agent L/N, nice of you to finally join us.”
Y/N smiled as she stepped into the office, “Agent Carter, a pleasure.”
The two subordinates turned in salute at Peggy’s statement, Y/N waved them off.
“At ease gentleman, I’m not your Lieutenant anymore.”
“You do realize, army ranks don't go away.” Peggy countered.
“Where’s Hank?” Y/N ignored her statement, trying rather hard to forget the formality of her position.
“We’re not sure.” Peggy picked the cup from Y/N’s hand as she sipped her coffee, “I’ve rung his office twice with no answer.”
Y/N shook her head, “Why can’t that old man just pick up his damn phone?”
The two soldiers shared a look of shock at her vulgar language, Peggy smiled amusedly.
“Show a little respect for our top scientist?” She asked.
Y/N rolled her eyes playfully, but complied. “I'm going down there, walkie if you need me. Gentlemen,”
She nodded at the men, who immediately set into another salute stance.
She shook her head as she left, followed by a chuckle from Peggy, which set the men at ease.
Y/N wasn’t happy today, clearly.
Carter wondered; what had happened to that sugary sweet teenager she’d picked out of Brooklyn at the start of the war. Bright eyed, eager. Now she had a hard, chiseled grown woman to call one of her closest friends. 
25 years in this life, all the people she’d lost… it wasn’t all that much of a surprise.
Peggy understood that all too well.
She thought of the day they held the service for the boys; sitting at that same bar after the world celebrated the war was over. The two women and the rest of the Howling Commandos sat around a table, sharing drinks to commemorate the boys they had lost. Y/N had been given two dog tags; one from Rogers and the other from Barnes. She clutched them in her palm so tightly; as if holding onto it would somehow keep whatever little part of them she had left. The boys tried to be light, they all had. But they all walked away that day a little broken. It hadn’t felt right to celebrate a war they never really left.
She turned to the files on her shelving unit, reporting details to the men in her presence.
Unbeknownst to her; on the other side of the glass sat a forgotten face, watching in quiet longing…
~
“Yeah this is Chesler, I need every available MP on sub-level 6. We have a potential breach.”
Immediately Y/N buzzed back, “Talk to me, what’s going on?”
“Agent L/N. We have two suspicious persons on the base; Yvette reports one is dressed in army attire and the other a SHIELD scientist with a ‘hippie beard’.”
“Beegees or Mungo Jerry?”
“Yvette says Mungo Jerry.”
“Last seen when and where?”
“Just off the elevator, one—”
Y/N collided with a large figure, coffee falling and spilling on the floor.
She looked up, prepared to reprimand him. She stopped.
He didn’t look back, quickly shoving through the crowd of passersby. She knew that face, even if she’d only seen it for a second. 
She could recognize it after all these years. She had seen him sick, helpless, happy, sad, strong, determined, broken.
Steve Rogers: dead 25 years.
Alive, 1970.
~
Short chapter but MUCH more to come
Part 1
Part 3
Masterlist
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