#listening to music in one tab have a tv show going in the other I’ll crash soon enough but for now aghhhhhhh

[cyphergalore]

Idol || Anyone but you - 1 JJK

Hi guys !!! This is my first chapter of my first written series fic on here called “Idol” Thank you so much if you take time to read this <3 here we go! Warnings: 18+ swearing, smut, angst, slight depression, anxiety, social anxiety, nsfw and more tags I’ll add along the way. Below will be an intro to the backstory, after that will be the main story :) enjoy babies !!

You were adored by many, known as the hottest person out right now. Everywhere you looked, you would see your face. Every news outlet and radio were talking about you and playing your music constantly. You had names to you such as, “the nation’s IT girl” or “the industry’s sweetheart” “the princess of pop” and the list goes on. You were best known for your insane sensual duality on stage and for remaining innocent yet mysterious off stage. No one really got to know your personality and you never showed it enough to be talked about badly in the press. Well, that was until you met 7 boys who were your biggest inspiration. It was a whirlwind of chaos and fun, a high that you never wanted to end when you were around them. You had only met them once so far in person at an awards show, a nervous wreck of how they would think of you. Little did you know that they were equally in awe of your work. It started one day when Jungkook was scrolling on social media, trying to keep up with the latest trends from army when he had seen you. The support you had gained and incredible talent you had, kept him interested enough to keep tabs on you. He started to support you from closed doors, going from a person who purely just wanted to give emotional love and support to a major fan of yours. He would spent countless hours listening to your new music, watching fancams, waiting for new music videos to come out as you became a bigger and bigger artist to watching your new reality shows and would be one of the first to view your updates on your work and your life. Along the way, he managed to rope in the rest of the boys too. All he had to say was “hyung! She’s an army!” And they were whipped, maybe not as much as he was but it was a close call. “Is that our y/n ssi?” Jin placed the food on the table in front of the younger boys who were moving their heads to try to get Jin’s figure out of the way of view from the TV. “Yeah, she’s just released a new episode of the secret life of y/n” (your tv show similar to run BTS) Taehyung focused on the TV as he chewed on the food, “oh! Move over then” Jin excitedly grinned before squishing himself in between the boys.

You met them at an awards show where Namjoon almost knocked you over midway of doing your interview. Not that you were complaining almost being K’Oed by that beautiful large man who didn’t see you, but he apologised profusely until you both finally looked at each other. He was much cooler than you about it, you were wide eyed and cursing like a sailor in disbelief of him existing right in front of you. To make you feel better, Jungkook wasn’t far behind as he said “that’s y/n ssi!” Right in front of you before covering his mouth in realisation, his cheeks filling with a pink hue as he turned his body away and looked away in embarrassment. He fixated his gaze on trying to fix jin’s button instead as Jin laughed at him, rubbing his head. Jimin giving you that look, “our y/n we have heard so much about you” before sending a wink. Needless to say, once you got inside you had calmed down a lot more and started to talk to the boys. Not before you word vomited about how much they meant to you and impacted your life blah blah blah, embarrassing yourself by looking like an extreme fangirl when you’re supposed to also be a professional celebrity at a professional awards show. They, on the other hand were very humble and understanding about the situation and let you talk before thanking you. They could even tell you were still a bit nervous and cracked jokes with you as if you were their old time friend. Later on during your performance, where you were shitting yourself prior to about messing up in front of them, you were breezing through it confidently and saw them being so supportive by dancing and cheering throughout for you. Praising you straight after it and showing how proud they were of you.

Since then, you had agreed to stay in touch and had been sticking to it. It was split into groups, “the texters”, “the facetimers” and “the ones who didn’t go near the phone unless it was important.” “The texters” consisted of Jeon Jungkook and Kim Taehyung, they would never FaceTime you personally but would always message you on social media or texts. Taehyung was in between since he loved to crash the others FaceTime calls who had FaceTimed you but wouldn’t ever pick up the phone to do it himself :) “The facetimers” included; Park Jimin, Jung Hoseok and Kim Seokjin. Pure chaos every time it’s all three (including Taehyung) But much more calmer 1 on 1. Finally, you have the “doesn’t go near the phone and will not contact you unless it’s important” type. Min Yoongi and Kim Namjoon. The busiest men in the K and western industry, which is understandable why they didn’t speak to you as much as the others. You understood given their schedules and the amount of work they have outside of BTS would be too much for you to even imagine.

Past

“We all call you our angel because you’re so sweet and precious to us and we want to protect you.” Jimin said sweetly, “and because you cannot do any wrong in our eyes, since you’re so angelic” J hope made a cute noise before pouting at you. It was one of the usual trio video calls with Taehyung doing God knows what in the background. “Yes our angel but not as angelically handsome as my looks” he winked, “Jin stop it, I have enough cracks on my phone already” you joked as they all laughed in unison. “Yah! How can you call yourself an angel when you talk to me the way you do?” He scolded jokingly, “she is, Taehyung-ah isn’t that right?” Jimin looked over to Taehyung as they all turned to him. You could now get a clearer view of him playing video games on the bed, Yoongi fast asleep next to him. Taehyung didn’t even bother to look over, instead he just tilted his head slightly and raised a brow to give the boys his attention. “What?” He asked in response still looking and playing the game, “isn’t our little y/n an angel?” J hope asked as Taehyung shrugged in response, “sure, yeah” you laughed at his reaction. “Thanks Tae” you watched him continue to focus on his game but it didn’t stop the small lopsided smile from forming on his face. “By the way what do you mean protect me? Protect me from what?” You looked at Jimin in confusion. “To protect you from the lifeless soul sucking demons called the music industry and the people in it” the voice came from Yoongi who was with his arms still crossed, laid flat with his eyes closed on the bed.

Present

You breathed heavily, collapsing on the floor from exhaustion. Grabbing your water bottle, you chugged the remaining liquid before pushing it away and breathing out. “I love how you look like you’re dying every time you film content for a dance cover.” Your choreographer laughed as you glared at her, “I am…dying.” You did this one specially as a surprise, given that you’ve been an army and since haven’t spoken about the boys publicly since you’ve met them. The reason being, as soon as you had met the boys at the awards show a year ago, you had received major backlash. People were telling you that you were using “celebrity privilege” to get closer to the boys, most people called you a “fake army” which hurt a lot because being an army was one of the best things in your life. Dedicating 5 years to the fandom and meeting such great people through there only to be accused of different. They were saying you were just using BTS for views and popularity just like everyone else. Therefore, you stopped expressing your love for them so often and direct and decided to just focus on your career instead. You recall telling the members about it on one of your usual FaceTime calls when they asked about the sudden stress that’s been showing on your face. “You shouldn’t take into heart about what they say, you always care too much about other’s opinions. All that matters is that we see how much of an Army you are, you’re not using us in any way and we know that you’re a real friend. Ok?” J hope sent a finger heart at the camera before making cute noises along with a big smile. You care too much that’s something they often said to you. For today, you did a dance cover for Dionysus and added in some of your own choreography. Once it was edited to your standard, you thanked the team and had them post it before heading home.

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One thing you loved about the boys is how they always commented like fresh 8th graders who just discovered instagram for the first time. You liked their comments and replied to each and to a few fans also.

Kookie 🍪 has sent you a message.

You laughed at the text, pretty sure you could imagine his face and whiny voice at how you would annoy him sometimes. You were cut off by the sound of your phone ringing from an unknown number, it looked like a landline number. You picked up the phone to a low voice on the other end grumbling, “Yoongles?” You asked in confusion. “How many times do I have to tell you not to call me tha-.you know what? Hello how are you doing y/n?” He sighed as you grinned. “You secretly love it, besides if you reprimand me for it then you’re reprimanding the whole of Army for using it too” you let out a giggle as he took in another deep breath. For some reason, you got under his skin easily but he could never get annoyed at you. He would never tell you, but he loved how you were with him and how you treated every member differently according to their traits, making them feel equally special and loved. “I’m fine though, how are you?” You replied, “fine” he breathed out. “Spit it out then” you broke the silence, “what?” He replied caught off guard. “You only call me - which may I add is rare when you do, when you want something that you think I’ll probably say no to. So what is it Yoongi?” You straightened your posture and put the phone down on the countertop. “What if I’m calling you because the boys have news and they’re scared to tell you because they’re worried you’ll be disappointed?” You could see him through the phone right now probably tilting his head thinking he did something smart. “We have Namjoon for that, only he calls me when that happens.” You pursed your lips together as he let out a small “oh. I really am just calling to see how you’re doing.” You walked away from the phone, “tell your lies to someone else Yoongles” he sighed “wait where are you going? You sound distant now” “away from your bullshit bye” you laughed. “Wait! Ok fine come back I’ll tell you” he whined as you laughed, “relax I just went to get some stuff from the fridge. Go on” at this point you could tell he was also pinching the bridge of his nose out of frustration. “I called because your label and Hybe wants a collaboration out of us. They wanted me to call you and act like I’m asking personally but knowing you and how I’m not a great liar, you would have picked up on it from the start-.” “Gee thanks” you spoke monotonous before he continued. “In a way we are asking personally because the boys are fond of you, you’re good friends with them-.“ “and not you?” You interrupted as he scoffed, “yeah me too or whatever but anyways, it would be good to finally work together. You’re immensely talented and it was bound to happen sooner or later.” He let out, probably smiling at his own speech. “Yeah, I appreciate it Yoongs, I knew you calling me had something to do with our labels” you plopped a cherry in your mouth. “What gave it away? Other than me not calling often” he asked. “You’re calling me off Hybe’s line and not your personal phone” you pointed out casually as he grimaced at his mistake. You laughed as he let out a small chuckle, “you got me. So do you need some time to think it over?” He asked. “No need, I already have my answer.” You responded, “oh really? So-.” “Tell them I appreciate the offer but no thank you.” You cut him off, “n-.no? You’re turning it down?” He stuttered, as if you were crazy to ever turn them down and you probably were. “Do you remember what people were saying when we all first met in person?” You sighed, “yes but who cares what people have to say, this is what we meant before when we said you care too much about-.” “And they’re somehow correct. I don’t want to be seen as using BTS, or having privilege. I wouldn’t feel right, if I make it then I want my name to be for myself not because I collaborated with you or because I did this or that” you replied. “Y/n hajima! can you just listen for once and stop being silly.” You bit your lip to stop yourself from laughing.

“you’re not using BTS. Your label is using Hybe and Hybe is using your label. That has nothing to do with us, our friendship will always remain the same. You have no celebrity privilege, if anything it’s a pleasure and an honour for us to be working with you. We saw your talent and have for years, I have always wanted to work with you but wanted to wait until you were ready to. You don’t have to do this now if you don’t want to and even if it’s further down the line when you choose yourself to work with us on your own terms, then we will always leave the door open. But still, it would be nice to catch up” he mumbled the last part as you smiled. “Hello? Are you still there?” He asked as you laughed, “yeah sorry just wiping my tears, that was so moving” you joked as he scoffed, “Bye y/n” “I’ll pack my things then!!! Love you yoongles!!” You called out as he cut the phone line.

And here you stood a few months later, in front of the house in Korea that belonged to the 7 boys who had taken over your life. You buzzed the intercom, hearing a loud yawn from Taehyung along with his deep voice say “Yeoboseyo?” “Uh, Taehyung?” You asked through the speaker. “Ye” he replied. “It’s y/n” you spoke trying to contain your laughter of imagining him against the intercom sleepily with his eyes closed, messy hair and pouty mouth. You could hear him take in a long deep breath before speaking again, “ye” then he clears his throat. “Just one moment…” you can hear his footsteps walk away before walking back towards the intercom “please” and then he walks away again. As the recording is still going, you can hear Taehyung shout in Korean to the rest of the boys followed by excited screams and cheering. He said, “everyone she’s here finally! Oh my God what am I gonna wear, I’m not even ready! We can’t keep her waiting” He had no idea the intercom was still recording. They were all happily singing and cheering and dancing which made you laugh. You waited for a good few minutes before hearing someone come back to the intercom, mumbling something in Korean “oh it was still recording?” You then heard the voice clear itself again, “how much did you hear y/n?” Taehyung asked as you laughed, “all of it.”

“Y/NIEEEEEE” you didn’t even step one foot inside before you were tackled by J hope and Jimin with a hug. “Ooofff” you let out before hugging them back warmly, “did you get here ok?” J hope asked as you squeezed jimin’s cheeks pouting. “Of course, thank you sunshine” you patted his head as he gave a cute noise. “Come to papa bear” Taehyung raised his brow at you smoothly as you laughed going over to hug him, “don’t act like a smooth guy with me now, I heard you scream like a little girl over me earlier” you whispered in his ear before pulling away and seeing him give an embarrassed laugh. “Seokjieeee” you danced over to Jin who was making grabby hands at you, “angelllll” he hugged you and moved your body from side to side. “When I get settled I’ll smoke you at Mario kart ok?” You patted his shoulder, “Yah! How dare you come here and disrespect the Mario kart king!” He laughed as he scolded you. You then went over and hugged Joon, “hi Joonie” “hi angel, have you been keeping well?” He gave a dimpled smile. “Always, have you?” You asked as he nodded “of course.” You then moved over to Yoongi who rolled his eyes playfully, “make it quick, you know I don’t like hugs” you smiled and gave him a big embrace as he groaned in response making everyone laugh. “My yoongles” you smiled as he tried to pry you off him. Finally you looked over at Jungkook, “well if it isn’t Mr. Shy” you tapped you foot as he smiled, “I’m not shy” he rolled his eyes playfully as he played with his lip piercing nervously. “Come here big boy” you stood on your tip toes as he hugged you tightly.

You were currently in the kitchen helping Yoongi prepare the food, “it feels good having someone who actually helps and not to kick out of the kitchen” he smiled has he chopped up the onions. “Who have you kicked out?” You let out a laugh as you seasoned the meat, he stopped his chopping before giving you a look. “Everyone.”

“I thought you were helping Yoongi cook?” Jungkook looked up at you doe eyed from the sofa, “I got kicked out” you jokingly pouted before trudging yourself over to the couch next to him. “That bad huh?” He moved over a bit more even though there was lots of space, “I just forgot to wash the utensils that’s all! He must think I have 7 hands or something. Jungkook why are you moving? I don’t have fleas” you eyed him as he smiled, “you might” he said quietly. Your jaw dropped as he giggled, “I’m kidding” he whined as you threw the couch pillow at him. Most of the time he was quiet, unsure of what to say. He couldn’t understand why he became so shy when he had met you once before and spent almost everyday talking to you online. “I..” he started as he gained to courage to speak but didn’t have any conversation to think of, “Ba ba ba ba baaaa buhhhh ba ba ba ba buhhhhh here is the Mario kart champion. Prepare to become… annihilated.” Jin walked into the room like a king and dramatically stared you down. “Jungkook move it’s time for the big boys to play” he waved him off as if he were a peasant. Jungkook raised his eyebrow at him, unmoving from his space. Jin looked back at him “do you wanna die?” He said in Korean before threatening to hit him jokingly as Jungkook slowly got up from the couch sighing. He then moved over to the other side next to you, as you moved slightly away from him. He chuckled at your mocking of his actions from earlier. You stood up puffing out your chest before walking to the tall man “Jinnie… you’re going down. Let the games begin” you gave him a competitive stare as did he. The room was full of battle cry’s, bloodshed and tears. A straight up war-zone, “noooooooo!!!!!” A voice cried out in agony as they gripped the pillow in defeat, you watched as the boy mourned and sat in a foetus position. The rest of the boys who sat around sometime during the match became interested at the neck and neck game, giving reactions throughout. Even Yoongi was here watching in amusement at everything going down, you stood up singing. Holding out your hands with your head held high, “I don’t loseeeeee!” You flexed your muscles as the boys cheered for you, “all hail the new queen!” Taehyung proposed as they bowed to you. “Ba ba ba ba baaaaaa buhhhh, ba ba ba ba buhhhh” they all started singing as Jin sat there lifeless like, given up on everything. 2 seconds later after it died down, everyone sat in peace as Jin sat staring off into the distance. “Yoongi, when is the food done?” Jimin asked, “hm? Oh it was done an hour ago whilst you guys were in the middle of the very important match” Yoongi didn’t even bother to look up above his book, “unbelievable! I’m hungry how could you not tell us I…” Jin stood up scolding Yoongi as the rest of the boys ran into the kitchen.

“Is y/n going to be sleeping in the room next to me?” Jungkook asked as I looked up at them, “yes jungkookie, we only have one guest room that came with the house remember?” J hope told him, “ah ok” Jungkook replied before going back to eating his food. “Thank you for letting me stay here guys, I know it’s a lot of trouble-.” You were cut off by them all groaning at you, “how many times do we have to tell you! Stop saying sorry and thank you, we wanted to spend as much time with you as possible. If anything, we’re sorry you have to experience living with us and not the hotel” Namjoon smiled before letting out a chuckle. “Yeah I feel sorry that you have to sleep in a room next to mine” he gave you a look, “why, Are you loud?” You blurted out innocently as the other boys choked on their foods and laughed. “I guess you could say that” Jungkook smirked as the table was filled with some sort of tension, “speaking of that, none of it tonight or for the rest of y/n’s stay ok?” Namjoon gave him a look. “I didn’t agree to that” Jungkook narrowed his eyes at him, “you don’t have to. I’m telling you as your leader and we wouldn’t want our guest uncomfortable here” Namjoon pursed his lips together tightly, “well you’re not the leader of my personal life” Jungkook remarked and you quickly interrupted. “Whatever it is I’m sure it’s fine! It will be ok, I don’t mind. You guys should live life as normal, don’t change anything just cause I’m here” you grinned.

It was not fine. You figured out Namjoon was actually trying to save you along with the other boys at the dinner table. You should have kept quiet because then you would have never had to experience this traumatising event at 4am in the morning. Moans, loud ones from both a woman and Jungkook coming from next door. Was it his girlfriend? If this happened often then was he a sex addict? Oh God he might have been. Especially if he couldn’t hold it off for a few weeks when you were staying, it said a lot. You tried drowning it out with music in your ears, putting the pillow over your ears but nothing worked. You settled for braving the storm of running past the room lightly to go into the kitchen to make yourself a coffee.

Once you got into the kitchen you looked over to see Jimin, “hi angel” “hi my little lamb” you both greeted each other as he giggled at the new nickname. Each time you saw Jimin you would have the craziest nicknames or vary between using his favourite ones. “Can’t sleep?” He gave a knowing look as he grabbed another cup to start making another cup of coffee for you. “Yeah, insomnia is crazy” you lied looking around as he stopped and gave you a ‘bitch please, you can’t fool me’ look. You walked over to him and held out your arms as he embraced you without hesitation. You placed your head on his chest as he caressed your hair softly, as you pulled away and looked at him smiling whilst he stared at you in awe. “You’re so beautiful” the sound of the kettle going off cut the moment as he turned around quickly with a smile and made the rest of the coffee. You stood there blinking, trying to understand what that was. Only to come to terms with it being ‘the jimin effect’ you’re sure he did this all the time to the others . You heard commotion in the hallway, you and jimin stood by the door as he translated the Korean for you. “Keep your voice down you’re going to wake y/n up” the voice came from jungkook. “Oh, as if you didn’t wake her up enough already with your late night activities” Namjoon was furious. “I told you already not to do it tonight or for the rest of the few weeks since we have a guest here. What part do you not understand? Do you know how much this could fuck up everything?” He reprimanded Jungkook. “And I told you this is my personal life, you’re not the boss of. I even tried to keep it down and besides, she won’t tell anyone-.” Jungkook was cut off by Namjoon, “and how do you know that? Even if she would never, since I’m sure she wouldn’t even think of it, do you have any idea how disrespectful you’re being? You’re disrespecting the boys, the house, me and the whole of BTS and not to mention, our guest. Who, might I mention came all the way here when she could have gotten a hotel and a peaceful sleep instead but wanted to spend time with us as good friends.” He ranted as Jungkook stayed quiet. “I want whoever you have in there, out. Now. I’m tired of this shit Jungkook if you keep this up then-.” “Then what? You’re going to kick me out?” Jungkook’s voice quivered slightly as his eyes started to well up in anger. He was getting emotional as he looked at Namjoon. At this point, the rest of the boys were sleepily outside their room doors watching what was going on. You walked down the corridor into view, “alright boys, let’s talk about this in the morning please” you patted the head of Taehyung and watched everyone go back inside to their own rooms including Jimin. You then turned to Namjoon and Jungkook, “y/n? Ah I’m sorry I thought you were asleep. Sorry about Jungkook, he just doesn’t know when to-.” placing your hand on each shoulders. “Joon it’s fine, we can talk tomorrow. For now, get some rest ok?” You said quietly before walking into your room.

The next morning you woke up groaning, barely any sleep you had gotten. It’s bad enough that you don’t sleep in general, given the schedules of your job. You stretched and reached over to your phone to see 2 unread messages from J hope.

You quickly got up, brushed your teeth and showered. Once you got dressed in a loose oversized t shirt and sweats, you made your way into the kitchen. J hope wasn’t even there yet, instead you came into contact with the person who kept you up at night. You looked over to the tattoo sleeved man in his oversized shirt and messy hair who was reaching over for cereal in the cupboard. You watched has his shirt rode up slightly exposing a bit of his lower back and hip. He hadn’t noticed you yet. You stood there thinking about how lucky that woman must have been last night. Once he turned around, he jumped slightly at the sight of you before letting out a chuckle and a small “you scared me.” You uncrossed your arms and pushed yourself off the door frame, before walking over to grab a bowl. “How did you sleep?” He asked as you gave him a ‘seriously?’ Look. “Sorry” he muttered as you let out a small laugh, “it’s fine, I actually didn’t sleep too bad.” You looked over to him, “really?” He looked at you surprised. “Yeah but uh, I guess that was only after the thing” you said to him as he nodded, “right. I’m sorry about that” he apologised again. “It’s actually funny because I didn’t know that’s what you guys were warning me about at the table” you giggled as he looked at you weirdly. “I bet if we did, you would be running to the hotel” he joked as you nodded. “Nah, it’s your personal life I don’t really care about it Jungkook. I mean, did it keep me up to the point where I wanted to die? Yeah maybe.” You joked as you looked over at his guilty face. “I’m joking Jungkook, it’s all good. I’m an adult. Just maybe if you do, at least let me know next time or try better to keep it down?” You smiled at him as he smiled back and nodded. It was silent for a few minutes before he spoke up again, “I don’t uh, I don’t have a girlfriend by the way.” “Are you just saying that because you’re worried I’ll call dispatch on your ass or something?” You asked as he laughed, “nah you’re too good to us to do something like that but I mean it, I don’t have one” he looked at you, “okay, that’s good to know” you murmured. “Is it?” He stared at you, “I just mean like-.” “Ooooo JayKay and ohhhh angel I didn’t expect you to be down so quick” J hope interrupted, “took you long enough” you rolled your eyes playfully. “Usually when I call you, it takes you hours to get out of bed” J hope replied as he opened the fridge for eggs. He then turned around and hugged you, “that’s because I’m talking to you and it feels too good to get up. Mmm hugs” you smiled. “Was the bed not comfy enough? Do you want to switch?” J hope gave a worried look as you laughed, “no, it’s very comfy but I just want to not waste the day and would rather spend as much time with you guys as possible” you said sweetly to them as Jungkook ruffled your hair and pulled you into a small hug before letting go.

A few hours went by and each member were waking up slowly and showing up in the kitchen. You watched as Tae sleepily dragged his feet along the floor, hair all over the place as his eyes remained closed. Lips formed in a pout as he opened one eye and rubbed it to look at you, walking towards you before pulling you into a hug. “Oh” you said in shock as he buried his head into your neck, inhaling your scent “it wasn’t a dream, you’re still here” was all he said as you bit your lip to stop yourself from laughing. You felt him be tugged away from you and looked over at Jungkook who said to him, “give her some space” whilst giving him an annoyed look. “Angel, can you please do me a favour” Taehyung slowly opened one eye to speak to you as you hummed in response, “can you please make me some pancakes?” He pouted even more in hopes of you saying yes. “Of course, Tae” you smiled as he grinned, “such an angel, thank you” he hugged you once again as you felt him be pulled away from you once again. This time it was jimin, “angelllllll” he sang as he pulled you in for a hug. “My prince, did you sleep well?” You asked as he nodded cutely. “I am going to make our angel breakfast today” he spoke with a soft tone, you looked at him not wanting to break his heart at the fact that you already had. You looked over to J hope who was too busy telling Namjoon not to go near the kitchen, “she’s already had it, J hope Hyung made it for her” Jungkook looked at the boys. “It’s ok! I’ll make some pancakes for everyone who hasn’t eaten” you smiled at them. Once finished, you allowed them to eat as you sat in the living room with Jungkook. “What do you feel like doing today? Resting?” He looked over at you as he repeatedly hit you with the cushion softly. “I don’t mind, what do you guys wanna do?” You asked as he looked in deep thought. “Mmm, you had a long flight so you should rest here” he nodded, “well, I’m not really that tired to be honest” you started to mimic his actions with your own pillow. “What? But you haven’t slept properly and you barely get sleep as usual” he looked over at you concerned and stopped his actions. “Insomnia is a crazy thing, huh” you laughed as he caught your pillow mid way of hitting him, “I know something that can tire you out” he looked at you seriously before sending a wink. Was he flirting with you? Does he think you’re going to become all shy like most of the women he uses it on? You were y/n known for your intimidating sensuality on stage and you’d be damned if you let a man make you blush and giggle like a school girl. “And what might that be?” You tilted your head, making eye contact with him as the room started to fill with tension. You watched him gulp but he didn’t let his poker face slip, “Lotte world amusement park.”

So here was the first chapter !!! I feel like the beginning was a bit boring to get through but mandatory. My English is not the greatest, I apologise for that. The next few chapters should be more exciting, you can see some of the flirting and tension between her and the boys so it’s just hints for their solo series. You can also see a small bit of tension between her and jk. It will build eventually but slow ;) hope you enjoyed this one and I’m excited to write more soon - Swan 🦢

#jungkook x you #jungkook fic #jungkook fic recs #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook #jung hoseok #bts fanfction #bts ot7 #bts fics #bts fic recs #bts smut #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts #bts x reader #bts jhope #bts rm #bts jin #bts taehyung #bts v #bts jimin #bts yoongi #bts jungkook

[tacit-semantics]

Honestly I don’t know why I thought lack of ability would make me any more responsible about drawing wips than I am about writing like do I suck at drawing??? Yes. Do I need to finish my drawing of karkat, finish my drawing of the dolorosa, and draw dirk doing the overstimulated Blair witch corner stand anyways??? Yes right now immediately

#HUGE fan of the overstimulated Blair witch corner stand it’s my go to #i stand in the corner and I look at the wall and I hold my phone #and I am deeply overwhelmed by everything and everyone and I cannot leave for one reason or another #distant cousin of the Look Up at the Ceiling sit in the lecture hall where I avoid the visual input of looking at people #by- wait for it- looking at the ceiling #anyways I’ve been in a very very good mood for the last few hours which means I need to do everything all at once and nothing is enough #stimulation genuinely about to split screen this #listening to music in one tab have a tv show going in the other I’ll crash soon enough but for now aghhhhhhh #tacit rambles

[my-child-is]

My Child is Neurotypical

So I made a few...dozen...posts on twitter about my experiences being neurodivergent. They’re a roughly 60/40 split between being autistic and having adhd with heavy overlap. They take the form of a parent in denial saying “My child is neurotypical” and the response of “Your child is X” where X is a common neurodivergent experience phrased as if coming from a teacher.

(I’ll be updating these as I make more)

Classroom

Your child was a pleasure to have in class

Your child can’t focus unless they’re playing with something

Your child has awful handwriting

Your child is tapping their foot through class

Your child just needs to apply themselves. They can clearly do the work but keep making silly mistakes

Your child had a breakdown over not getting all their homework done

Your child is quiet and struggling to stay on task

Your child thinks school was indistinguishable from torture but struggles without the structure

Your child needs outside structure or they can’t figure out what to do first

Sensory - Sound

Your child hears the CRT TV noise (double this if they hate it)

Your child needs to cover their ears any time you use a blender

Your child wants to know where that buzzing is coming from

Your child can tell if the fridge has been opened recently from the other room

Sensory - Touch

Your child can’t wear rough or slippery fabrics

Your child hates any texture beyond flannel (any other distinctive texture works too)

Your child hates tags on clothing

Your child overheats in thick socks

Your child wears sportswear but hates sports (@checkerfired1 on twitter)

Your child thinks water has a strange texture

Your child finds showering exhausting but also doesn’t want to get out at the end

Your child can’t stand the feeling of oil on their skin

Sensory - Light

Your child sat in the dark from noon til sunset before starting their day

Your child thinks sunlight is ‘too much’

Memory

Your child forgot they were hungry halfway through making dinner

Your child has had midnight new years pass by because they forgot to wait for it

Your child can’t keep a grasp on time

Your child is confused about how it’s already evening

Your child has over 50 tabs open in chrome

Your child can only ‘wing it’ because they always forget what they planned to say

Your child made a list of what they needed to do and forgot to check it

Your child came up with a ‘my child is neurotypical’ post but forgot

Stimulation

Your child can’t focus without background music

Your child thinks everybody is exhausted after conversations

Your child drinking caffeine is like a roulette wheel in its effects

Your child struggles thinking while seated

Your child likes to constantly be chewing on something

Your child finds crowds overwhelming

Your child finds existing at night less exhausting

Sleep

Your child is reading this in the middle of the night

All of your child’s friends live on the opposite side of the world because they can’t maintain a traditional sleep schedule

Your child had midnight new years pass by because they’re normally awake well past then even as an adult

Your child has trouble quieting their brain to sleep

Dyspraxia

Your child is extremely klutzy

Your child’s phone typing is riddled with typos

Empathy

Your child felt guilty for bumping into the table

Your child is painfully uncomfortable watching shows with awkward situations

Your child cries even thinking about somebody being in pain

Your child is extremely trusting with new people they just met

Emotions

Your child has lots of mood swings

Your child hates compliments because they’re sure they’ll disappoint and alienate anyone who thinks anything good about them (from @MaebyIsSweet on twitter)

Sharing

Your child shares extremely personal experiences with people they just met

Your child can talk for hours about the same subject without getting tired

Communication

Your child learned nonverbal communication from the family dog/cat

Your child gets frustrated because people can’t understand them

Your child has been discussing the same topic for 30 minutes without taking a break to breath

Your child tends to speak repetitively - they may feel somewhat scripted

Your child feels like an alien sent to observe humans

Your child cries when instructions aren’t clear enough

Your child communes with animals because they make more sense than people

Your child doesn’t see the point of small talk

Your child finds comfort in the scriptedness of small talk

Your child is anxious about misreading people’s intentions

Your child is anxious about contacting somebody because they think it’s too last second

Your child gets frustrated when instruction manuals skip steps

Your child is constantly anxious about misunderstanding

Your child needs subtitles to hear anything

Your child has times they struggle to make words

Consistency (Anxiety)

Your child asks for the same meal every time they come home

Your child watched a single movie more than 3 times in one day

Your child feels anxious watching new movies or tv shows

Your child nearly has a stress breakdown if plans change last second

Your child’s anxiety spikes every time you ask them a question

Your child has a favourite song they’ve listened to for a week straight

Your child finds split second decision making stressful

Your child gets anxious if they don’t exactly follow their daily routine

Masking

Your child can pick up accents easily

Your child grew up wishing they could just go live in the forest away from people

Your child gets anxious when you ask aabout their day

Your child emotionally relates to fictional characters more than real people

Your child has said ‘I just don’t have the energy to act human right now’

Your child has described people as ‘just too much’

Your child was so ashamed of being different they tried to reshape their personality so people would like them

Misc ones I haven’t really sorted yet

Your child is protective and doesn’t like anybody new coming into their room

Your child wishes it was easier to get up and do what they need to

Your child is confused by how other people relate to their gender

Your child thinks their functioning is an inconvenience to people

Your child is either ‘on’ or ‘off’ and there is no in between

Your child gets stuck in excitement feedback loops with their friends

Your child is convinced they just aren’t working hard enough

Your child is on their third hobby this week

Your child spaces out randomly during the day

Your child considers every step of getting dressed an individual task they have to do (from @sisi7304 on twitter)

Your child differentiates between food they like and food they think is good (@sweetmoonpigeon on twitter)

Your child has severe imposter syndrome about whether they’re neurodivergent ‘enough’

Your child isn’t sure what they’re supposed to do to be a man or a woman

Your child’s fingers and toes change colour in the cold

#neurodiversity #autism #adhd

[honklore]

invisible string | dreamwastaken

(requested plot by red string of fate soulmate au, dream is still a streamer, reader has commitment issues, dream just wants someone to love, chat is the best wingman, sapnap and george try but they suck, reader is timid but dream makes them feel brave, taylor swift references, this is not very deep or poetic at all, i don’t like typing y/n so after this i’m going to move to ___)

listen to: invisible string by taylor swift

In kindergarten, red strings were simply a crafting tool, and teachers never mentioned how much pain they would eventually bring.

Because when they appear, from a child’s eighteenth birthday and beyond, they tighten like a godforsaken high school ring that came in one size too small. Like the universe is a child tugging their mother towards the ice cream truck, you’re pulled around central Florida, passes faces you can’t memorize and voices too garbled to hear.

The string knows where you need to go, and when.

And you’re at the park, feeding ducks and trying to ignore that incessant pull that tugs at your pinky, when you hear it.

It’s a voice you know only because it’s a voice that’s been in your house before. At least, through your brother’s tablet screen. Some gamer online — a streamer, with a distinct wheezing laugh that you’d recognize anywhere.

And you do. Behind you.

You risk a small peak, and your heart drops into your chest. He’s tall. Too tall to not intimidate you. And his sandy hair is wavy, curling at the collar of his sweatshirt, falling perfectly into place when he runs his hands through it. When he does, you see it, the red string.

Which means he could see it too. All he’d have to do is turn around.

But you’re not ready. You haven’t been, not since you watched your cousin get rejected on her eighteenth birthday. Since you watched a string of fate get clipped in front of you, like the three fates had finally had enough of your cousin’s happiness.

It was enough to make you curl into yourself, and reject the natural pull set before you. So you run, and you try not to think of what would’ve happened if he saw you before you saw him. You try not to feel the clippers, but the blade feels tangible against your skin.

You don’t stop running until you arrive home.

“Hey chat, just wanted to do a few practice runs and catch up with you guys,” Dream mumbles into the mic, already restarting his game after deciding he didn’t like his seed. The donos begin rolling in, even before Sapnap and George have unmuted, so Dream flits his eyes to the display screen, subconsciously reading along with the text-to-speech voice, “Dream, what if we shared a string of fate? Ahaha, just kidding... unless... love you bestie.”

Dream chuckles, “Actually chat, I felt a tug today! Isn’t that weird? I was actually reading up on what that could mean, and it seems like either my soulmate is in a lot of distress, or they were in my vicinity. I’m hoping, for their sake, it’s the second one. How would you even comfort a soulmate if all you can do is tug on a stupid string?”

“Simp!” George finally unmutes just to be annoying, and Dream knows soulmates are a touchy spot for him, considering he wasn’t given a string on his eighteenth. Which is strange, but not impossible. Of course, chat doesn’t know this, because it would give them more hope of becoming George’s metaphorical soulmate, but it certainly makes for awkward conversations once Dream and Sapnap get into their own soulmate bonds.

“I’m not simping, George!” Dream feels a bit defensive, because he’s genuinely just curious. He has no interest in meeting his soulmate right now. At least, that’s what he tells himself. He has his streams, and his friends, and chat. He’s fine.

[abbywastaken donated $10: dream why don’t you go back to where you felt the pull and see if you feel it again? that’s how i found my soulmate. okay luv u bye.]

“Thanks, Abby. Love you, too. Um, honestly I was in a pretty public place, so I don’t know if they would even come back anytime soon. Also, this is Orlando, right? Tourists are everywhere.”

Sapnap snorts, and Dream thinks it’s funny, since he’s in the other room. “Just say you’re a coward and go.”

“I’m not!” Dream says. “It was just a small pull, okay? It wasn’t even a big deal.”

He feels another lurch when he says that, but this one is in his chest. It taps against his heart, a quick reminder that it beats for someone else, and he needs to watch his words. “Okay, it was a big deal. Sort of. I’ll go tomorrow, okay chat?”

Chat is spamming all types of messages, from encouragement to jealousy. Dream manages to read off a few donos and create his first nether portal of the stream. He answers as they appear, eyes scanning for a fortress. “No, I didn’t see them… I’m not telling you guys where I was, that’s weird… I’m wearing a sweatshirt and jeans… Hi, Sarah and Patrick…”

He trails off as the donos do, and works at getting blaze rods. George is talking about a riddle he just learned, and he’s trying to trick Sapnap into saying something stupid.

Lost in his own thoughts, he finally closes the stream after a hasty goodbye. “What if I missed my chance?” He asks the two boys on the other line.

“It’s a string of fate, Dream,” George says. “You didn’t miss your chance.”

“Maybe they saw how ugly you are and ran away,” Sapnap says, completely joking, but the thought lingers in Dream’s head.

Did they feel the tug, and run away?

You pour cereal for yourself, and when your brother shuffles into the kitchen, you make him a bowl as well.

He’s eleven, and as little brothers go, he’s pretty chill. Aside from the inappropriate jokes and hogging the bathroom when you have to get ready for work, you like hanging around with him.

You pass him his bowl, and he grins. “I’m gonna watch Dream’s new video on the TV, since mom’s not home.”

You furrow your brows. Dream must be one of the dozens of streamers he likes. Maybe one of his friends will be in chat with him, and you will be able to connect a voice to a face. “Can I sit with you?”

He gives you an odd look, and it’s true, you don’t ask to watch videos with him often. “I guess.”

You eat a spoonful of cereal and settle into the couch while he gets everything ready. He clicks on a lime green icon of a little white blob man, and when the first video appears, you’re taken aback by the voice.

That’s the voice you heard. It’s this one, out of all the random men yelling about a block game. It’s Dream.

“Why doesn’t he show his face?” You manage, wanting information about the person that shares your string.

“What?”

“Like, he’s handsome, right? Why doesn’t he have a facecam?”

Your brother snorts. “Handsome? He’s never shown his face, Y/n. Don’t you know who Dream is? He’s like, super famous.”

“Oh.” You think of his golden hair, as sunny and soft as the glow around his entire being. His voice right now, joyous as he gets chased by his friends. “I mean, I don’t keep up with streamers.”

He begins to explain Dream and his friends, along with lore in their role play server, and it’s all interesting enough that you sit and listen, holding on to the little bits of information you can collect about your soulmate.

You file these facts in a secluded corner of your brain and try to make a whole person, along with the hair and the laugh and the intense music he plays as he gets hunted by his friends.

By nightfall, you’re following all of his socials and binge-watching his old streams, holding on to the way he speaks to his friends, and the fond way he replies to donos.

[dreamwastaken is live!]

You click on it, bundled underneath your covers as if someone might see you and find out your secret.

“Hi, chat! I know I was just live yesterday, but I cut it too short and wanted to come talk to you guys.”

He uses his avatar to wave at the screen, and it’s kind of an adorable sight.

[gogysimp donated $25: did you go see your soulmate?]

Your heart stops. Does he know? Did he see you? Or even worse, has he already found someone else, and he just hasn’t severed the tie?

“No!” Dream’s laugh pulls you out of your worries. “I was busy with meetings today, actually. And I was too nervous. Sapnap also refused to come with me, so I’m just going to go another day.”

So he didn’t see you. He just knows you were there.

You click the donate tab before you can stop yourself.

[y/n donated $1: would you reject your soulmate if you didn’t like them?]

Dream mumbles the question, and you try to ignore the way your heart deflates when he skips saying your name. “I don’t think so,” he states plainly. “I mean, logically, a soulmate would be your other half, so I wouldn’t not like them. But I know some people just don’t click, or there are other issues. So, I don’t know. I guess the only thing I can say is that I don’t want to reject them. And I hope they don’t reject me. I mean, imagine finding out your soulmate is a Minecraft Youtuber. That would be pretty weird…”

You giggle to yourself as he trails off and answers another donation. So he’s against rejection. Okay. Maybe you have a chance.

[kyra donated $60: i’m your soulmate.]

“Meet me where you felt the tug, then,” Dream says sassily. “Chat, don’t be weird, okay? I can’t control who my soulmate is, and I don’t want you guys to exclude them if they become a pat of my life.”

Oh, you think. So his chat is vocal about their opinions, and apparently they mean a lot to him. You shiver despite your warm position and imagine how annoying you might seem to his loyal viewers: someone who only knew about him because of their brother.

Insecurity pushes against your chest, so you close the stream and push your phone away, hoping to forget this ever happened, that maybe you won’t have to deal with the inevitable if you don’t think about it.

Yogurt Barn isn’t the first place on your list of dream jobs, but it has decent pay and helps you pay off student loans, so you appreciate it nonetheless. The teal sweatshirt they gave you as a uniform keeps you warm as you scoop the frozen treats.

Your coworker, a girl named Madison, is busy manning the counter, so you check each flavor and refill the ones running empty.

“Can I ask you a question?” Madison met her soulmate, Anna, only days after she got her string. It was a textbook romance, two people meant for each other, no doubt in anyone’s mind. She might be able to help you now. That is, if you can even admit to who your soulmate is.

“What’s up?”

“I felt the tug,” you say, avoiding her eyes in favor of restacking the medium cups.

“No way!” Madison is perky in a way that makes you want to be included. You like this about her. “Did you see them? Did you talk to them?”

“He—” You want to say that the part of him you saw was perfect, enough to keep you up when you should be dreaming. But reality is nothing if not disappointing. “I ran.”

“Y/n…” Madison gives you a stern look — like a mother finding out their child didn’t defrost the chicken in time. “Why would you run?”

“I don’t want to be rejected.” The magenta swirls painted onto the walls are a stark change to the clay sidewalks of the strip mall. “And before you say he wouldn’t… It’s happened to my cousin. It’s possible.”

Madison frowns. “But that can’t be the only reason, right? I mean, we all know someone who has been rejected. It’s usually not the end of the world for them.”

“He’s a famous streamer,” you blurt, and you’re thankful the shop is as empty as it is. Just the words themselves sound fake.

Madison snorts. “Like, gaming? That’s what’s holding you back? He’s a gamer?”

“I don’t care that he’s a gamer!” You hiss. “I care that he has a loyal fanbase who more than likely all want to be his soulmate!”

“You can’t say that for certain,” Madison says. “I mean, everyone knows about the soulmate system. If you watch someone and don’t feel the pull, you know they aren’t your soulmate, right? So why wouldn’t they accept you?”

“I don’t know,” you say. “I’m just scared. I mean, he’s got this huge following and everything and I’m just me. I work in a yogurt shop for goodness’ sake.”

You head into the back to grab more cups, and the bell rings, signaling a new customer.

“Welcome to Yogurt Barn, what can I get for you?” Madison’s customer service voice pricks your ears.

You sift through the boxes to find the smaller cups and listen to the customer’s order. “Can I have a strawberry cone?”

Your string pulls, that same familiar voice filling your head, not on the screen but once again just a few feet away. He’s infiltrating your life, so close you could reach out and touch him, but it’s such a terrifying thought that you set down the cups.

You tear off your apron, and run into the break room to grab a water and calm yourself down.

It’s ten minutes before Madison comes back to find you. “Hey, are you okay? You disappeared.”

You take a deep breath and stare at the poster on the wall. It’s brightly colored, with a walking yogurt cup waving and reminding employees to wash their hands before scooping. “That was him. The guy— the pull— Dream— I can’t— Does he know? Is he following me?”

“It’s okay,” Madison runs her hand down your back. “It’s okay. He isn’t following you. When the pull starts it tends to draw the couple together until they meet. He probably doesn’t know it’s you.”

You nod and take your breaths in gulps. “Okay. Yeah, you’re right. You’re right.”

“Why don’t you go home early, okay?”

Dream is live again.

Fresh out of the shower, you pull a t-shirt over your body and burrow into your blankets. Earbuds in, you try to focus on the sound of his voice, ignoring every ounce of anxiety that’s been riddling your mind.

“Hi, chat. I’m gonna practice speed runs again. I think George is joining soon.”

You open the chat and scroll through the emotes, clicking the ones you like and sending them, just to calm yourself down.

[kylo donated $5: did you find your soulmate?]

Dream laughs. The sound makes your chest tighten with longing. Your fingers ache. “Actually, I went to the place I felt the pull again. I dunno what I was expecting, but they didn’t show up. But after that, I was running some errands and I felt it, chat! I felt the pull again.”

He trails off while his character starts to look for a lava pool. “I feel discouraged but I don’t want to like, chase them, you know? I don’t want to scare them off.”

You click the donation tab again.

[y/n donated $1: maybe your soulmate heard your voice and got scared of you because they watch your videos.]

It’s not the total truth, but it might help him sleep better. You don’t want him to feel discouraged, but you can’t bring yourself to follow the pull.

“That could be a possibility…” Dream crafts a portal and sends his character through. “But I wish I could talk to them. I wish I could tell them that it’s okay. Like, we don’t have to rush into anything.”

[y/n donated $1: They probably wish they could talk to you too]

“Thanks, Y/n.” He sucks in a breath as soon as he says your name. The Minecraft pause screen appears and the sound of a discord call can be heard.

Your heart pounds in your chest. Something about him saying your name just solidified everything. Your arms feel hot and cold all at once, like you’ve just been thrown in a frozen lake. He has to be feeling it too.

“Chat, I gotta go, okay? I’ll try to stream again soon.”

“Hello?” A sleepy voice comes in through Dream’s earbuds.

“George! Their name is Y/n!” Dream is so excited, his voice raising a few octaves as he talks. “Someone donated with that name and I felt like, super weird. I didn’t feel it until I said the name out loud.”

“That’s crazy,” George says, monotone but supportive. “Do you think the dono is actually them?”

“I don’t know,” Dream scrolls through their past donos and quickly screenshots each one. “I mean, they definitely could be.”

He shares the pictures in their group chat.

George hums. “It sounds like they’re trying to tell you how they feel without admitting that it’s them. Where did you say you felt a pull?”

“At the park, and at the yogurt shop down the road.”

“So go there again. Maybe all they need is a little courage. If you feel the pull this time, you should follow it.”

Dream thinks about it for a moment before finally agreeing. He changes the subject to their next jackbox stream, and George is now happily talking about how they’re going to team up against Sapnap.

He goes into Sapnap’s room that night. He sits on his desk chair while Sapnap sits cross legged on his bed, scrolling through his phone. “Do you wanna get frozen yogurt tomorrow? My treat.”

“Hell yeah!”

The new strawberry-lemonade custard is a hit. Not only are the colors aesthetically pleasing for the teenagers who want a nice snapchat story, but there was a promotional coupon in the mail that has people lining up to the door.

“It’s not even that good,” you tell Madison while the two of you are on break. You’re both using a sample spoon to try out the new summer flavors, and in your opinion, strawberry-lemonade isn’t even the best one. “Blood orange is better.”

Madison wrinkles her nose. “No, blue raspberry is best.”

“It’s sour, though,” you say.

“Guys! Break’s over and you’ve got a line!” Your manager stares disapprovingly at the cups of custard the both of you are indulging in.

“We’re coming.” You toss the cup into the trash and walk out, scratching at the sudden itch on your pinky finger.

Pulling on your gloves, you grab a scoop and address the first customer, “Welcome to Yogurt Barn.”

“Hi!”

You still like you’ve been caught stealing on camera. You look up, hand clutching the scoop so tightly you can feel the cold steel through your gloves.

It’s Dream.

It’s him. He’s tall, and his hair is a sunshine blond, dark at the roots and curling beneath his ears. And his freckles… little spots all across his cheeks so endearing that you get a little distracted staring at them.

Then he’s talking, and you have to focus on his jade-green eyes, not his lips, which are a warm pink. “It’s you.”

You blink. Fear strikes your spine and you drop the scoop. “I gotta go.”

“Wait!” Dream calls, just as Madison shouts your name.

You exit out the back door again. Your heart is pounding against your chest, ribs expanding, and all you can hear is the sound of your name coming out of his lips, just last night through a screen.

“Y/n?” Only it’s in front of you, a few feet away, and he’s searching your eyes for any reassurance that you won’t run away again. That you won’t reject him. “That’s your name right?” He keeps talking, a nervous smile flitting across his face. “The donos? That was you?”

You can see the string now, red and blaring, tightening with each step Dream takes. It’s signing off your fate, for better or for worse, and you can’t fathom why he’s trying so hard, why he cares so much.

It’s hot in Florida but you feel cold, chilled to the bone. You straighten up. You figure you owe it to him to look up in the eye.

He leaves you breathless, eyes shining in the sun. “It was me,” you say. “You’re Dream.”

“Clay, actually,” he says. His smile widens, and it’s magnificently bold. He’s triumphant, just from your reply, and that alone gives you the slightest bit of hope.

“Clay,” you say. “I’m— I’m not— I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“You don’t have to be.” Clay is quick to reply, hands open and palms up. It’s a complete surrender — putting it all in your hands. “We don’t have to announce it. We don’t have to be anything at all, if you need time. But I would like to be your friend. If— If that’s okay.”

But you want to be close to him. The draw of your strings pulling each other closer and closer makes you want to wrap your arms around him. If he hasn’t rejected you, maybe you can do this. “I– I want to be more than friends, but I’m terrified of you rejecting me. I’m afraid of the string getting cut.”

Clay set his brows, “I won’t let that happen. We’re connected. Fate, ya know?”

“Yeah,” you breathe, and it’s a sigh of relief. “Okay. Maybe I’ll give you my number?”

“I’ll give you mine!” Clay is animated, holding out his hand for your phone. “That way you can text me when you’re ready.”

The red string shines like gold in the Florida sun, and when your fingertips brush, it burns with a satisfying warmth.

#dreamwastaken x reader #dreamwastaken fluff #dreamwastaken fanfic #dreamwastaken x you #mcyt au #dreamwastaken au #mcyt x reader #mcyt fluff

[backtothefanfiction]

WHAT BENNY DOESN’T KNOW | Chapter 4

A TRIPLE FRONTIER STORY

Summary: Drama ensues when Santiago tracks you down in Italy and tries to get you to go on the Triple Frontier mission with him.

Warnings: VERY Mature 18+ ONLY!! Read this chapter around others at your own peril. Angst, murder, gun violence, language, references to drug use, SMUT!, dom!Santiago, oral (female receiving), light bondage, edging, squirting, thigh riding, slight degradation, dirty talk.

Word Count: 8177

A/N- I don’t know what else I can say about this chapter other than I am sorry. This chapter ran away with me and became a fucking monster. I hope it lives up to the hype, even if it isn’t what you expected, I hope it still satisfies and shocks. Frankie fans have been very patient and I know this chapter is going to tease you but trust me, it’s worth it for how the rest of this story will go. So without further ado, here’s what went down in Italy.

PART FOUR | What happened in Italy.

----------------------------

'Hey I need to talk to you about something.'

'I've got this recce I'm doing and could really do with your help.'

'Hey did you get my text.'

'Did I do something wrong? Why are you ignoring me?'

----------------------------

You scanned the messages on your phone once more before looking up at your reflection in the bathroom mirror before you. You rested your hands against the top of the sink, the phone digging into your palm as you pressed it against the porcelain. You couldn't deal with this, not right now. You reached for your clutch, wresting on the ledge before you, as another girl entered the bathroom through the door to your right, the music from the club growing louder before being dimmed again. You made polite eye contact, smiling at the girl before she closed herself inside one of the stalls.

You closed the thread of text messages from Santiago, dropping the phone back into your bag. You took a moment to fix your hair and your dress before making your way back out in to the heart of the club.

The base of the speakers passed heavily through your body as you made your way back to your group in the VIP booth. You had been in Italy for almost six months, infiltrating the Italian mob, becoming the girlfriend of one of the high ranking members to get information. Vincenzo reached his arms out, encouraging you to come sit on his lap so he could show you off to his company. You felt his hand come to rest against your ass, rubbing it slightly and you had to use all your effort not to roll your eyes and fake gag, instead turning your head closer towards him and giggling innocently into his neck.

You had rested your bag against your bare thigh and you could feel your phone begin to vibrate through the fabric as someone tried to call you. You attempted to ignore it, leaning against Vincenzo, you took a moment to look over his shoulder out the window behind you and down to the people on the street. The Italian continued to talk to his company,  oblivious to the fact you were a spy and retaining everything they were saying. He almost completely ignored your presence and you listened intently to the information he was sharing.

You felt your phone begin to vibrate inside your bag once more and rolled your eyes. You didn't need to check it to work out who it was. No doubt it was the same man you'd been trying to ignore for the last 7 days. You rolled your eyes before leaning to say into Vincenzo's ear, “Vado al bar, torno subito.” I'm going to the bar, I'll be right back.

He gave you a kiss on the cheek and a small nod of acknowledgment, slapping your ass for good measure as you stood, this time you really did roll your eyes in disgust. You reached your fingers into your bag, rooting for your phone, which was now ringing for the third time in a row, as you made your way towards the bar. You looked down at it to see Santiago's name before looking back at your target in the VIP booth, trying do decide if it was worth taking the risk and answering the call.

“Santi I'm working right now, can we do this later.” you asked into the phone, your voice blunt.

“Sorry querida, I didn't realise, I was just calling to say, I like that dress.” your eyes widened at his words, your head whipping around to scan the crowd for him. “You know it's very short, I got a very good look at your ass when you stood up.”

“Santi?” your voice was both a warning and question as you struggled to find his face amongst the club attendees.

Santiago watched you carefully through the scope of his sniper rifle across the street, struggling to stifle a small chuckle as your eyes scanned the room you were in intensely, looking for him. “You know you're not gonna find me in there.” his voice was a taunt down the phone, you didn't let up you're search for him though.

“Santi, what are you doing here?” you tried to keep your voice calm, your eyes checking back on Vincenzo again, making sure he wasn't watching you and how frantic you were acting right now. You let out a deep breath, you hadn't realised you'd been holding, as you saw him still talking intently to his friends.

“You weren't answering my texts.” Santiago's voice came down the phone once more. You turned your back to Vincenzo, leaning against the end of the bar, trying to blend in. “I had to get your attention somehow.”

“Santi, where are you right now? I swear to god, if you ruin my cover.” you let the threat hang openly down the line. He was well aware of what you were capable of without having to threaten him with specifics. Then a thought crossed your mind. “Santi, how did you know where I was?” he didn't respond. “If you knew I was here...” you worked the thought through your head silently. “Santi? Why did you decide to call me right now?”

“Because I needed you to stand up so I could get a clear shot.” he finally said, his voice calm. You whipped your head back towards Vincenzo so fast, your phone dropping from your ear, resting at your side as you finally worked out where he was. He was watching from a window across the street. Shit.

It felt like everything was moving in slow motion as Vincenzo's body suddenly collapsed forward off the chair he'd been sitting in, hitting the glass table in front of him smashing it. You slowly brought the phone back up to your ear. “Get out now. Meet me in the alley around the back of the club.” were the only words he said to you before he hung up the phone. Girls began to shriek around you as they realised what was happening. Vincenzo's men quickly stood, pulling guns from their holsters, searching for whoever had shot their leader. You disappeared into the chaotic crowd now fleeing the scene, closely watching over your shoulder to see if you were being followed.

You broke off from the stream of people once you were downstairs on the ground floor, leaving out of a fire exit at the back of the building. You listened as the sounds of a motorcycle cut through; over the top of the screams of the crowd that was exiting out onto the street through the main doors of the club. 'He didn't' you thought to yourself, lifting your head towards the heavens, a silent plea. It fell on deaf ears.

Santiago made his way into the alley on the back of a motorbike, coming to an abrupt halt before you. “You have got to be kidding me.” you said as you began to pry your heels from your feet, stepping closer to the bike. He lifted the visor to the helmet up and the way the skin creased around his eyes, you could tell he had that smug grin on his face. Of course Will had told him. “You did this on purpose.”

“Just get on the bike.” he responded, revving the engine impatiently.

You climbed onto the back of the bike, your heels clutched tightly in one hand, the other wrapping tightly around Santiago's middle. “I swear to God Santiago, if you crash this bike when I'm not wearing a helmet-” he didn't give you a chance to continue before he took off, weaving his way through the dimly lit back streets until he reached a particular hotel on the outskirts of the city.

--------------------------------

You slammed your bag and heels down on the dresser as you entered the gloomy hotel room. You leant back against the top of the piece of furniture, your elbows nudging a small box tv on top of it as you silently stared at the floor, refusing to make eye contact with your companion in the room. The sound of his keys hitting the side table was deafening in the silence, forcing you to finally look at his face. This was the first time you'd seen him in person since you had slept together just over a year and a half ago.

“How did you know I was here Santi? You keeping tabs on me?” you spat at him.

“I have a guy.” he says it so nonchalantly like it's no big deal.

“What the heck Santi?” you continue your voice slowly rising in anger. “I've been stationed here for just over five months now trying to gain intel. Do you know how much time it took me to get him to trust me.”

“Well when you dress like that, I'm guessing not that long.” You push yourself up from the dresser turning away from him, a hand fisting into your hair in frustration. You closed your eyes taking a deep breath. “Look the guy had a price on his head.” He continued taking a tentative step in your direction. “Besides, now you're free to come to South America with me.” you turned towards him again, a look of complete and utter disbelief on your face.

“Do I just look like a fucking joke to you?” your voice cut at him. His eyes softened, hurt as he realised he'd said and done the wrong thing. “You fucking track me down in Italy, shoot my target, oh and turn up with that god damn bike.” You paced back and forth a moment before stopping abruptly in front of him. “When did Will tell you?”

“What that you practically got yourself off on the back of his bike?” Santiago joked, a large shit eating grin breaking out over his face. Your face remained stern, letting him know you didn't find any of this funny. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry.” he suddenly conceded, his eyes dropping to the carpet. His voice was quiet when he looked back up to meet your eyes. “I don't think you're a joke.”

“But you and Will did swap stories about your time spent with me?”

“So he was telling the truth.” Santiago said taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “You did get turned on by his bike.”

“You say it like you're jealous Santi?” you question him. “You think because I had a good night with you the last time we saw each other, I can't fuck anyone else?” he couldn't meet your eyes. You raised your eyebrows in disbelief at his silence. “Just you wait until I tell you about me and Fish.” you say coyly, turning your eyes away from him, just as his head snapped to your direction again.

“What about you and Fish?” he questioned, his eyes not leaving you now. A small smile licked at the corner of your mouth at the memory, but a slight ache in your chest suddenly tainted it.

“Let's just say, had we known, we would have put towels down.” you teased him. He shot up from the bed then, taking a step towards you, his eyebrows furrowed in shock and curiosity.

“Wait when did you and Fish?” He couldn't even finish the sentence. Frankie had been in a relationship for the last two years, even had a two month old baby girl to show for it. A part of Santiago didn't even want an answer to his question, but he was so intrigued by the other part of your statement, it completely clouded his better judgement. “Wait you're telling me you and Fish slept together and he made you?” he couldn't even say the word.

“You don't believe me?” you questioned him as you reached for your bag, your fingers closing apprehensively around your phone inside. You knew this was a bad idea but you were so mad at Santiago right now you were willing to do anything to put him in his place. “Call him and ask for yourself.” you continued unlocking your phone and thrusting it into his hand challenging him.

You watched him intensely, trying to hide your nervousness, as he searched your contacts for Frankie's name. Santiago's thumb hit the call button then put the call on speaker, the sound of the dial tone pulsing through the room. The longer it took for Frankie to answer the call, only encouraged your own anxiety that was painfully attacking your chest. You and Frankie hadn't spoken since you told him you were coming to Italy to get away from him; and the way you left things you wouldn't be surprised if he didn't pick up at all.

Frankie was more than surprised when he heard his phone begin to vibrate against the counter top, your name lighting up the screen for the first time in almost 8 months. He took a deep breath, his phone hanging in his frozen grasp before him as he questioned whether he should answer or just let it ring off. He surprised himself with his own judgement when he hit the answer button at the very last second, bringing the phone up to his ear.

“Hello?” Frankie's voice echoed out through the phone in Santiago's hand. If Frankie felt stunned by the fact you had called him in the first place, he was even more shocked when his best friend's voice answered down the phone.

“Dude did you make her squirt?” Santiago was blunt and straight to the point, his question making Frankie's eyes blow wide as the bombshell hit him. His heart felt like it was about to pound out of his chest as his panic set in.

He had sat quietly pretending not to take in Santiago and Will's conversation about you, that they were having the last time they had all been together. He'd held his tongue, wanting to keep his emotions for you in check. He wasn't proud of everything that had happened between the two of you and he hadn't wanted the hassle of his two best friend's opinions on the matter if he'd come clean about it all. Frankie suddenly found himself becoming angry, the feeling bubbling up in his chest ready to explode. Not only had you ended things between the two of you by running away to Italy, but you'd just dropped information about your time together to Santiago like it hadn't meant anything.

Frankie's silence and your pained expression had told Santiago everything he needed to know. He struggled to find the words to say but quickly found himself floundering even more when Frankie's voice spat sharply down the phone, “Did she also tell you she let me do coke off her ass?” Santiago's head shot up, his eyes boring into yours in shock. Shit!

You're eyes blew wide, your mouth hanging open unable to find the words to talk yourself out of this mess. You panicked blindly snatching the phone out of Santiago's grasp, hanging up the call. Fuck. FUCK! This had backfired on you so bad. You and Santiago stood silent across from each other as the bomb that had just been dropped settled around you both.

“How many times?” Santiago's voice tentatively broke the silence.

“How many times what?” you decided to deflect the conversation with other questions, “How many times did he make me squirt or... how many times did I let him do coke off me?” Santiago's hands flew into the air, his gaze moving to the ceiling as he took a step back, searching for the strength to carry on this conversation.

“The fact that you even have to ask that just proves how fucked up this is.” he responded as he watched you gingerly step towards the bed to sit down. You perched yourself on the edge of the mattress, unable to meet his eyes, you were more than aware of how fucked up the situation between you and Frankie was. There was silence again as Santiago tried to decide which question he wanted an answer to most. The fact you had, had to question if he was asking how many times you let Frankie do coke off your body already told him it had to have been a couple times. This also made him wonder how many times you and Frankie had slept together for him to have had the opportunity to do drugs off your body multiple times. “How many times did he make you squirt?” he finally asked.

Your head shot up, you had not expected that to be the prioritised question right now. When you met Santiago's eyes they were dark, full of lust. It sent a feeling rocketing to your core and you were thankful you had sat because the tingling sensation that shot through your ass told you your knees would definitely have given way if you were still standing. Your voice was timid, “We talking about just the first night or in total?” you asked wanting clarity so you could give him an honest answer. Santiago's hand groped at his own face as he tried to rub away the building tension and frustration he was feeling.

By saying that, you were only confirming what he already suspected to be true. You and Frankie had had a fucked up affair while he had been out of the country. He wanted to be so mad at both of you for behaving so recklessly and being so stupid, but the knowledge that Fish had gotten you to squirt, the fact that you could squirt, was turning Santiago on like crazy. He just wanted a chance to try and make you cum like that for himself.

His feet felt like they had bricks attached to them with the weight of every agonisingly slow step he took towards you. Neither of you broke eye contact once as you waited patiently for him to clarify the answer he wanted. He came to a stop before you, his gaze baring down over you. You felt so small, so vulnerable. Santiago looked so powerful right now, a far sight from the man you had beautiful sex with the last time you saw him. You knew how guilty you felt for everything that had happened between you and Frankie but the worst part of all was you weren't sorry for any of it. You knew it had been wrong but you had fallen in love with Frankie Morales hook line and sinker and you'd been more than willing to look past all of the fucked up things he was doing, just so you could be with him. You felt guilty because you regretted none of it and would do it all again in a heartbeat and for that you wanted to be punished; and with the way Santiago Garcia was looking at you right now, you were more than willing to let him be judge, jury and executioner.

“Did he make you squirt the first time he fucked you?” He asked, his hands moving to start undoing his belt as he maintained direct eye contact with you the whole time. The sound of the chinking metal sent a flutter straight to your core.

“Yes.” you whispered breathlessly, ready to roll over onto your back right then and there and be submissive.

“How many times?” your eyes dropped from his gaze to watch him slowly pull the belt from the loops, the sound sending shivers across your skin. You were afraid to tell him because you knew Santiago was never one to shy away from a competition, he was overly competitive and you knew once you told him the number, his aim for the evening would be to best that. You watched closely as he bunched up the belt in one hand, the other reaching out to place a finger under your chin, lifting your head to meet his gaze again. “How many times?” his voice asked again, intimidating, calm and patient.

“Three.” your voice came back, small and timid. He gave a slight nod and you pulled your lower lip between your teeth in anticipation for what he would do next, your eyes staring up at him helplessly. He dropped the tender hold he had under your chin and turned away from you, taking slow and calculated steps towards a chair in the corner of the room. He dragged it back across the room with him, placing it in front of you. He slowly sat, his elbows resting on his knees, fiddling with the belt in his hand.

He could see the pain behind your eyes, your guilt clear on your face. He also knew you wanted to punish yourself, wanted him to help you do it, but he needed you to say it out loud. “What do you want me to do?” he asked. The question was soft, but still domineering.

“Please, Santi.” was all you could manage, your eyes screaming help me. You didn't care how he did it, but you wanted him to use your own pleasure as a weapon against you. Santiago bit down hard on his bottom lip, his trousers becoming tight as he looked at you helpless and desperate, releasing all your control to him. It was a power trip he never knew he wanted or needed.

He took a moment to centre himself, sitting up, his hands resting on his thighs as he thought through the best way to do this. “Take off your dress.” he said. He had a magic way of making his voice sound commanding without being threatening, it was cold, calculated and made you want to follow any order he gave you.

You lifted the dress the rest of the way up your thighs, bouncing slightly on the bed to allow you the space you needed to lift it over your ass. You bunched the fabric in your fingers as you pulled it up over the top of your head as Santiago stood. You dropped the dress, letting it fall to the floor by your feet. You sat patiently in your underwear, staring up at him, waiting for your next instruction. He placed his belt down on the chair before taking off his jacket. You couldn't help but stare at the muscles flexing in his arms as he hung the jacket on the back of the chair. “Lay back on the bed.” he said, his eyes not meeting yours as he made his way towards the bathroom. You were less than surprised when he came back with a towel.

He stood at the end of the bed, looking down at you laying back on the pillows in the middle of the mattress. He threw the towel down onto the bed, “Last chance to back out.” he said, his eyes boring into you. You remained silent as you continued to meet his gaze, your eye's telling him you weren't going to back out. After a minute of waiting and giving you plenty of time to change your mind, he finally gave you a brief nod, directing your gaze to the towel, silently instructing you to lay it out on the bed while he took a moment to take his shoes off.

You spread the towel out over the top of the covers, before taking your place inbetween the pillows again at the head of the bed. You watched him kick off his shoes before he crawled onto the bed, reaching his arm out for the belt that still sat on the chair, before making his way up the mattress towards you.

He tucked the belt into the palm of his hand as his fingers reached out for your ankles, spreading your legs out wide so he could kneel between them. He was leaning over you so close that if he leant down, only slightly, his lips would meet your own. He didn't lean down though. Instead he took hold of your wrists before leaning back on his heels. He silently began to wrap the belt around your wrists, not too tight, but tight enough that you wouldn't be able to break free from them without having to ask. He continued to stay silent, refusing to meet your eyes as he gently raised your hands above your head. You watched the look of concentration on his face, as he fixed the belt holding your hands, to the bedframe. The only sound in the room came from your slowly unsteadying breaths as the suspense and arousal built within you.

He ran a gentle finger lightly down your arm, the sensation making your skin tingle and you sucked your bottom lip inside your mouth to stop yourself from letting out a small gasp. Santiago wanted to let out a small chuckle from how powerful he felt from the sight, knowing you were becoming aroused already and he'd barely done anything. He forced his expression to remain icy and calculated, controlling, knowing the less he gave away, the more you're mind would race, making you squirm beneath him.

His hands reached for your legs, running his fingers slowly up the length of them, starting at your ankles and coming to a stop at your thighs, his hand giving them a light slap before his fingertips dug into the flesh. This time you really did let out a small moan as the sensation sent shockwaves straight to your core. Santiago really did allow himself a low controlled chuckle then. He watched intensely as your pupils dilated from the slight pleasure his touch had given you but then they contracted again, the shame of your aroused gasp making you bashful. He hadn't realised his pants could feel any tighter but they felt like they were suffocating him right now.

For the last year and a half, whenever he tried to have sex or jerk himself off, his mind had always wandered back to that last night he'd spent with you. He'd been itching to relive it for so long, but here now, seeing you like this, he already knew he had a new favourite memory of you; even if the circumstances that led you both here, hadn't been the most desirable.

He had leant forward again, his thumbs brushing against your inner thigh, as close to your panties as possible but not quite close enough to touch. It was torturous, much like how close his lips were to yours right now, but he made no move to actually kiss you. He knew how your brain worked, how easily it could run away with itself. All he had to do was leave hints for your body and your brain would fill in the rest, making your arousal only that much stronger because they were your own wants and needs, your true desires that were turning you on and that was much stronger than anything Santiago could do to you.

The sexual tension around the two of you buzzed in the air like electricity, sending tingles all through your body without either of you having to move. As you continued to stare into his lust filled eyes you slowly began to realise what he was doing. You'd always realised the physical power Santiago had over you and when you had left your plea open, unspecific, you had just assumed it would be that physical power that he would use on you to just take you, pound into you with no mercy, ripping your orgasms from you by force; but now you were realising just how much he understood your minds inner workings. This wasn't going to be a physical manipulation but a mental one, he was going to use your own overactive imagination against you and that really showed how much power he truly had over you and that would be what turned you on the most.

Your hips began to twist slightly, desperate for any friction you could get between your legs, your head leaning forward, desperate to feel his mouth against yours, his lips sucking and bruising your own; but he moved his head back just out of your reach, your hands pulling tight against their restraints as you tried to chase him. “Uh, uh, uh, I don't think so queirda.” he taunted you. You watched closely as he slowly ran the tip of his tongue over his lips, messing with your mind even more, making you even more desperate to taste them again. You bit your lip and wiggled your hips again, then flinched as Santi's hands slapped at your thighs once more, forcing you to stop. “You keep doing that, I'm gonna sit my ass in that chair and do nothing at all.” your eyes followed the tip of his finger as he took one of his hands off of your legs, to point at the chair still sitting at to the side of the bed. “Do you understand?” he asked, forcing your gaze back to his dark eyes. You timidly nodded and his eyes softened as he once more relished in the power you were giving him.

He slowly began to lean forward and for a moment you thought he was finally going to kiss you. You closed your eyes in anticipation but the sensation never came. You felt his breath against your skin as he let out a breathy chuckle; you were so desperate. He had to fight the shit eating grin that was threatening to spread across his face when your eyes opened to find out what had happened, realising he'd stopped, his lips millimetres from yours. He instead manoeuvred his head lower to brush his lips against your neck, small feather like kisses that tickled; barely there touches that messed with your brain. You felt your panties grow wetter, less so from his actual touch but the mental and emotional power behind his every move.

You remained still and patient and he rewarded you by applying further pressure with his lips, gently nibbling at the skin before licking the spot tenderly with the tip of his tongue and finally sealing each mark with a kiss. You sighed, your eyes closing and head rolling back as the fluttering sensation between your legs only grew. When he reached your clavicle he stopped, pulling his head back. You licked your lips, sucking them into your mouth and biting on them slightly to stop yourself from whining, knowing he'd only hold out on you more if you did.

You watched him in silence as he just sat back slightly, staring at your breasts. The longer he waited to do something, the more desperate your mind would race to fill in and work out what he was thinking about doing with them. Your eyes painfully followed the movement of his hands as they reached out to gently lift your boobs up and out of their constraints, the underwire from your bra digging into your ribs slightly with the new position your breasts were sitting in. He then sat back again to admire them, the cool air of the room prickling against your nipples making them stand erect.

Santiago hesitated a moment, his controlled resolve almost breaking at the sight. You watched him take a deep breath, fighting to ignore the growing pain between his legs as his erection pushed painfully against its confines. He suddenly caught you off guard as his hands reached forward towards you, one hand gently caressing your side, the other reaching to get a handful of one of your breasts, guiding it towards his mouth. It had been the fastest you'd seen him move all evening as he wrapped his tongue around your nipple before gently biting down on it, rolling it between his front teeth. You let out a gasp of pleasure, your head falling backwards, eyes closing, your body bucking forward at his touch, arms pulling at their restraints.

“Oh fuck.” the words fell from your mouth before you had a chance to catch yourself, your hips grinding your clit into the mattress. You froze a moment as you waited for him to stop, to pull away and go and sit in the chair away from you to punish you for not controlling yourself better, but he didn't.

Santiago felt your body go rigid beneath his touch and a devious smirk played at the corner of his lips as he realised just how much the weight of his previous threat had taken hold in your mind. He knew you were waiting for him to pull away, your own mind already torturing you; he instead decided he was going to push you over the edge. He began to slow down his movements, the tip of his tongue running slowly across your sensitive nipple that he still held gently between his teeth. His eyes kept a close watch on your face as you screwed up your eyes, your lips pursed together in a tight line, trying not to react so recklessly to his agonising touch again.

He pulled his mouth away from your nipple with a pop and he placed a gentle kiss over it before he moved his attention across to the other one. His moves became sporadic again as his other hand, removed itself from where it had been resting at your side, coming up to take your other breast between his fingers as he pushed it further up your chest, his fingertips forcefully digging in before he took that one too into his mouth with a squeeze. He felt your body buck at the stimulation, eager to get away from it before he tipped you over the edge too soon.

His hand relaxed and he slowly let go of your boobs, his fingers stroking across your skin until his hands were touching your thighs once more. He applied extra pressure to his hold, pushing them against the mattress, forcing you to open your eyes and look at him. You became quickly intimidated by the coy and devilish smile that licked at the corners of Santiago's mouth. You knew that look all too well, his brain had given him an idea and you were not going to like it.

He gently nudged his knee forward inbetween your legs and it applied pressure to your needy clit. You practically flinched, trying to get away as the jolt of sensitivity shot through you. He let a low controlled laugh pass his lips. “Oh I don't think so princess.” he said grabbing hold of your hips, lifting them up, his knee coming to rest underneath you, your legs now straddling his thigh. It took all your strength to not immediately start grinding yourself against it, not until he gave you permission. “This is what you wanted isn't it?” his voice was low in your ear, taunting. “Well go on then.” he said with a slight nod of his head but you were hesitant to move, scared it was some kind of trap.

You felt his hold on your hips change as he began to encourage them to move and they of course betrayed you, following his rolling motion. You let out a small whine as your clothed clit, dragged across his thigh. You scrunched your face up, burying it against his shoulder. You had become so sensitive down there that the slightest movement was both full of pain and relief. Santiago listened attentively as your breaths became shallower, the strained noises you tried to suppress to not let on how much you were enjoying this, becoming more frequent. He released his hold on your hips, his fingers hovering just above them, testing to see if you'd carrying on grinding yourself against him without his encouragement. You did.

Santiago allowed you a moment to continue working yourself against his leg. He pulled his head away from you, forcing you both to look at each other. “Look at you, so fucking desperate.” he said, his voice low, eyes hungry. “Getting yourself off on my thigh like that.” you let out an audible moan then, unable to contain it, his taunting voice tipping you over the edge. “You getting close baby?” he asked and you silently nodded your head. “You want to cum all over my thigh?” You nodded your head desperately and he raised his eyebrows in response, encouraging you to use your words, to beg for him to let you cum.

“Please Santi, please.” you breathlessly whined. “I'm so fucking close and I need to cum so bad.” He remained still a moment, feeling your hips begin to buck ever faster on his leg, your eyes desperately searching his, aching for your release.

“No.” his voice was blunt as he moved his thigh out from underneath you, your hips bucking into the air, thighs squeezing desperately together, needing that friction back, you're eyes became teary as a guttural, frustrated cry fell from your lips. Your arms pulled tightly against their restraints, pulling your body back into the bed and even further away from him. The look on your face was one of betrayal as he got up from the bed and turned his back to you.

You panted heavily, your eyes fixed on his every move, as he gave you time to cool off while he grabbed himself a bottle of water from the mini fridge. He made a show of turning back to you as he opened up the bottle, bringing the cold clear liquid to his lips. Santiago knew what he was doing. He'd given you a moment to calm down but he'd just denied you your release when he knew you were so close and he knew how hot and sensitive you still were down there, your legs trying to subtly rub against each other to alleviate the pressure.

He leant back onto the bed, open bottle still in hand. He reached out for your ankle, pulling your legs apart with his free hand. His eyes locked onto yours, panicked and swimming in desperation. He held the bottle out in front of you, hovering over your most sensitive area. His eyebrows raised, taunting you. It took every inch of strength in your body to remain silent and not cave, to beg him not to. His hand began to tilt and he watched as your eyes flicked helplessly towards the bottle.

Your hips flinched as the icy water came into contact with your most intimate parts. He had only poured a little bit onto the area, directly over where he knew your clit was, but it was enough for your legs to kick out wildly. His grasp, still around your ankle, became firmer as he pushed it into the bed to hold you still as your breath came out as a hiss between your teeth. He held you there a moment longer, just to reinforce his power, before he stood up again, letting out a low chuckle as he crossed the room, taking another sip of water, before leaving it on top of the dresser. He paused there a moment, arms crossed, leaning back against the wood. Your eyes were locked on his in anticipation.

His movements were slow as he crept forward towards the bed, his hands sliding up the fabric underneath your legs until his fingers could hook around the elastic of your underwear, dragging them slowly down over your thighs, tickling your skin sending shivers through you. Your breathing hitched and you fought to remain quiet. “You gonna be a good girl for me?” he asked as his lips began to kiss and nibble up the inside of your left leg, his right hand tracing circles around the inside of your right thigh. He looked up at you expectantly and you gave him a small nod. “Use your words princess.”

Just as your lips began to open, Santiago plunged his head between your legs, sucking your clit into his mouth hard. “Yes!” you cried out, more forcefully than you had originally been intending to. Santiago let out a low chuckle, as the power trip he was feeling took over his body. The vibrations of his lips against your clit made you squirm, pushing yourself further towards his mouth. He happily obliged your needs, lapping at your wet folds with his tongue, sucking your little sensitive bud into his mouth, every time he reached it. The sensation of his tongue and your over sensitivity made you whine, breathing heavily as you pulled against your restraints.

“God I've missed this.” Santiago pulled himself away from your folds for just a moment to allow the confession to slip freely from his mouth, before diving his tongue deeper into them once more. You let your eyes close, head rolling back, your body relaxing into his touch as you let out a long moan of satisfaction.

Your body jerked forward again suddenly, your head whipping forward to look at him as he suddenly plunged two of his fingers deep inside you. He began to curl them forwards, thrusting them quickly inside you. Your eyes blew wide as a familiar sensation began to build up between your legs, a feeling you'd only ever felt when being fucked by Frankie.

Santiago suddenly felt your body stiffen, as you realised how close you were to squirting for him. He felt how your vaginal walls started constricting, instead of relaxing into the feeling, you were trying to pull away from it. He looked up at the panic in your eyes as the thought that had suddenly raced into your mind took root. 'Frankie was the only one you wanted to let. make you cum like that.'

Santiago quickly took his fingers out of you, slapping his hands against your thighs in frustration, the guttural cry of you being denied another orgasm, ripping through the hotel room along with it. When he looked at you there were tears at the corners of your eyes. You were so desperate to cum but he could also see the deep feelings you had for his best friend clear on your face. No matter how much he wanted to see you squirt for him, he wasn't going to force you to if you didn't want to; but it didn't mean he couldn't feel a little bitter about it and if you didn't want to cum the way he wanted you too, then fine, he wasn't going to let you cum at all, not until you were begging him.

“Fuck.” you sneered under his piercing gaze. Your clit felt like it was on fire, you should have just let him make you squirt, but your body had made the decision for you before your brain could even comprehend why it had done it. You could tell by the look in his eyes though that he knew full well why.

He finally broke the brief silence, his voice coming out cold. “Fine. You want to go back to playing the edging game, we can go back to playing the edging game.” he said shrugging his shoulders slightly, his head tilting to gauge your reaction. You recognised the dark look in his eyes. It was the same look he got on a mission, ready to go in for the kill, determined to finish the job. You knew the moment you dropped your little piece of information it would send him into a competitive spiral. He had given you a final chance to back out before you started but you hadn't, you had given him full control and now he was reminding you of that.

“Santi, no please.” you begged, you needed your release so bad.

“You should have thought about that before you decided to hold out on me.” he said as he moved his thumb over your swollen clit, applying pressure, making you squirm and moan under his touch. “I thought you said you were going to be a good girl for me?” you didn't realise his voice could drop any lower, but it did and he felt your lower half tense as it reacted to the words. He slowly lowered his thumb, dragging it through your arousal that was dripping out of you. He brought it up to your lips and you submissively opened, sucking his thumb into your mouth, tasting yourself.

Santiago's pupils grew wider, the problem in his pants becoming noticeable again as he felt your tongue flex around his thumb. Fuck, he needed his own release just as much as you wanted yours. He slipped his thumb from your mouth, wrapping his fingers around your jaw. “You gonna be a good girl for me?” he asked again. His voice was soft, encouraging you to say yes so he could finally plunge his cock into you, just like he'd thought about doing almost everyday for the last year and a half.

As soon as you nodded, he wasted no time, his hands racing to take off his clothes before latching his lips onto your mouth. If your kiss had been a drug, then he had definitely just relapsed. You shuffled yourself underneath him, making it easier for him to line himself up with your entrance.

He gave you no warning before thrusting forward, sheathing himself inside you quickly with one swift movement. Your hips bucked up into him, trying to take him as deep as you possibly could, your mouth hanging open mid kiss. He allowed you a single second to adjust before his hips started rolling into you, his cock rubbing devastating against your sweet spot with every thrust.

He moved his hand, placing his fingers around your throat, holding you firmly as he relentlessly thrusted up into your wet cunt. “Santi, please.” you breathlessly whispered into his lips, your eyes motioning up to your arms. He took his hand off your throat, reaching a hand up to release the belt from the headboard but didn't untie your wrists. You lowered your still bound arms, over his head and he wrapped his arms around you, bringing your body up closer to his, your hips lifting from the bed.

The new position provided him with the perfect angle at which to rub against that special spot inside you and you soon found that familiar feeling from before building inside you. He could feel it, your walls pushing back against him and he let his head fall, burying it into the crook of your neck, waiting for you to tense again and try and shy away from it like you had before but you didn't. He quickly lifted his head then, looking down between the two of you, as he felt your pussy push his cock out of you on his backward thrust, your release spilling all over the bed as you cried out in pleasure. Santiago swore it was the best thing he'd ever seen. He looked back up into your cock dumb eyes, his lips latching onto yours, thanking you for the gift you were giving him. “There it is. That's my girl.” he praised before thrusting back inside you.

-----------------------------------

“I need you on this job.” he said softly, his fingers tracing over your back as you lay, still naked, in his arms a few hours later. You shifted to look up at him.

“I can't Santi.” you replied, shaking your head slightly. He could see the pain behind your decision clear in your eyes. You knew what he was asking of you without him even saying it and you knew you couldn't do it. You were too emotionally attached to the other guys and you weren't ready to face Frankie again, the phone call earlier only reinforcing that more. You would be a weak link and you didn't want to put Santiago's hard work at risk.

“Okay.” he conceded gently, pulling you back into his chest and placing a kiss on top of your head.

“Who else did you ask already?” your voice asked quietly.

“No one yet.” he confessed and you looked back up at him confused, realising he had made you his first point of call, his priority team member. “This job means everything to me. It's everything I've been working towards over the last few years. When the information I needed to make this a reality came up, you were the first person that entered my head.”

“Why me?” your question came out as more of a whisper.

“Because I've never met anyone, who is as good at our job as you are.” For some reason his words hurt, because he was right. You were the best out of all of you for what he wanted to do. He came all the way to Italy to prove how much he needed your help, but you couldn't give it to him. You wanted to go against your better judgement and just tell him you'd do the job anyway, but you couldn't. Instead you buried your head back into his chest, your embrace around him growing tighter as you tried to reassure him, let him know how sorry you truly were.

                                ----------------------------------------------------

@icanbeyourjedi @theshiningharmony @darnitdraco @kesskirata @wyn-dixie @rosiefridayrogersunday @actual-spawn-of-satan @clydesducktape @asta-lily @honey-hi @heythere-mel @heidi-toevs @wigofokoye @choricenter @goodgriefitsawildworld @lostgirlheather @d0uwannkn0w @justdrawings101 @nicotinebirds @bisexualolympus @babyratt19 @cookiecat22 @peterhollandkait @a-bang-for-your-bucky @asta-lily @codenamewife @lazyunknownwerewolf @emmy626 @natura1phenomenon @fanfics-that-hit-my-feels @fangirl-316 @thisisthewaytofiction @rosiefridayrogersunday-reads @aficwhore @slayerx147 @alberta-sunrise @itspdameronthings @nano-pax @bunnypascal @niki-xie​

#triple frontier #triple frontier x reader #reader insert #santiago pope garcia #santiago garcia #santiago garcia x reader #frankie morales #frankie catfish morales #frankie morales x reader #will miller #william ironhead miller #will miller x reader #what benny doesn’t know #benny miller

[unloved-cadillac]

My Sweetheart.(A Levi x Reader Oneshot)

I found this writing prompt on Pinterest but you can find writing.prompt.s on Instagram.

𝖶𝗈𝗋𝖽𝗌: 2.5𝗄

It’s been years since high school. You left everything behind in Sina and moved to London to pursue your art career and it took off. But now after your art had all been successfully sold and some displayed in art museums, you decided to move back home to teach art at Sina College.

You didn’t come back empty handed. Hange, your close friend who you met in London, landed a job here as well. So, making things easier you offered to share an apartment with her and she agreed.

“So, are you going to hang up your art like how you did in London?” Hange asks and you shake your head. “Nah. I’m not so narcissistic.” You say and place a box on the floor. “Narcissistic? Your art is beautiful and deserves to be displayed!” She shouts and you laugh. “Thanks for the compliment, Han. But after the gallery did so good back there and everything got sold, I have to make some more.” You explain and walk into the kitchen with Hange following close behind. “Yeah. I wonder who bought all of those paintings. They paid double the price, isn’t it?” She asks and you nod. “I wish I could’ve met them. Whoever they are to thank them. They technically saved me from going bankrupt.” You joke. ”Oh! That reminds me. Can you run down to the store and get some snacks? I’m starving here!” Hange holds her stomach in mock hunger. “Ugh. Now I need to change. I was going to the store anyway, but I need to run down to the bank to withdraw some cash.” You say and head to your room to put on some reasonable clothes and grab your bag on the way out.

Luckily, your apartment was set in a very convenient location from the mall, small stores and banks. It really was a jackpot apartment. Walking into the bank, you stand in the cue and wait. Playing on your phone and listening to music, you see the line started to move. When you came up to the counter, you remove your earphones and look at the girl behind the glass. “Hi there. I came to make a withdrawal.” You say and take out your bank details and card. “How much do you-..” “EVERYONE HANDS UP! DON’T MOVE!” You hear and turn around to see men with black masks on with guns in their hands, aiming it around. Oh great. I’m going to die, you think and look at the people. One of them moved past you and you carefully moved your hands up. On their right arms, they had white and blue wings patched into it. Some sort of gang? Another masked man, caught your eye and you could see his eyes widen and started to panic. “Yo! Roll out.” He says, still looking at you. “What?! Why?! We didn’t even get the money!” One says and looks at his leader. “That’s her. We can’t do this while she’s here. Don’t aim at her. MOVE OUT!” The leader says and runs away while others look at you, while lowering their guns. They turned around and headed out of the bank, leaving everyone in shock and looking at you. You exhale a breath you didn’t even know you were holding and hold your chest. “Who are you?” Someone asks you. You look at them, still in shock. “Just an ordinary person.” You say, breathing heavily. “Well, you just saved our lives and the bank from getting robbed.” They say and you furrow your eyebrows. What the hell?

~~~~~

“So they just left?! Just like that?!?” Hange yells out and grabs your shoulders. “Yeah. It was so weird.” She hugs you, squeezing you a bit. “I’m so glad that your okay!” She says and you pat her back. “Yeah. I’m fine. But I still don’t know what to think.” You say and sip your whiskey. You think of the situation and those patches. “Hange.” You call her and she hums. “They had this symbol. A white wing overlapping a blue one. Any idea?” You ask and she taps her chin before going to her laptop. You leave her to do her thing as you hear the clicking of keys. “Come here. And check this out.” Hange says and you walk to her, sitting on the arm of the sofa. You look at her laptop screen. “This symbol is the Wings of Freedom. It’s a symbol of the crime syndicate called “Titan’s of Death”. Ugh, scary.” Hange says and you scroll down. Members were over one thousand and they were everywhere but most were situated here in Sina. “It says here people who don’t pose a threat to the Titans are on a No Harm list. The list isn’t revealed to protect the identity of them but it’s said to have only a few names. Y/n! What if your name was on there?!” Hange shouts and you scoff. “Why would my name be there? I’ve never heard of these people before.” You say and cross your arms. Hange scrolls further and comes across the leader of the group. You had left the sofa to go get your whiskey from the counter when Hange spoke up. “Do you know a “Levi Ackerman”?” You stop dead in your tracks and look at her. Levi? No it can’t be. “Do you have a picture of him?” You ask and she nods her head motioning to the laptop. You walk slowly to her and look at the laptop. There he was. Levi. The boy who had your heart all these years. Your high school sweetheart. “Levi.” You whisper and touch his picture. He kept the undercut. His face had lost his little baby fat he had when he was younger and became chiseled. He looked so handsome. You smile a bright smile while blushing furiously. “Y/n! Who is he to you?! He’s making you blush and it’s just his picture!” You look up to her, still smiling brightly. “He’s an...while I can’t say ex. But we dated back in high school. We ended things because I had to move ASAP to London and he couldn’t come with me. But, God I loved him. It broke the both of us when we had to leave.” You recall the memory.

It was sad. That was the only time you had seen Levi cry and just thinking about his face like that made you ache. “Why didn’t you two keep in touch?” Hange asks and looks back at his photo. “We tried. But life had other plans for us. His social media disappeared and numbers changed. Mine did too and once I lost his number I couldn’t find him again.” You explain, while staring at his photo. “Maybe it’s because he became the leader of this place and couldn’t risk having his number everywhere.” Hange reasons with you and you agree. “Yeah. Seems about right.” You sniffle and wake up while holding your cheeks. All of the memories that you had with him came flooding back in and all of the love you had for him clouded your mind and heart. You turn to Hange and smile. “Where is the Titan of Death’s headquarters?” You ask and Hange looks through the page. “Oh. It’s right here. Downtown though. Oof. Dangerous. Wait. Don’t tell me..” “Yes, Hange. I’m going to see him.”

Later that night, you logged into your old iCloud account, the one you had in highschool. It was filled with old pictures of your friends from back there and...Levi. You two went out for two years. Although it may seem a short time to others, to the both of you, it felt like eternity. You chuckle at all the funny pictures you took with him. One where he stayed over for the first time, while he slept, you drew all over his face. There was another one where you both were sharing a coke with two straws. You had yours in your mouth and looked at the camera while Levi had his in his mouth and looked at you. That was a good day. You go back to your browser and look at the opened tab with Levi’s picture. For a 25 year old, he didn’t look a day over 21. The Ackerman gene, huh? You smile at what he will think seeing you after all these years. You were very confident in seeing him again. After transferring some photos to your current phone, you go to bed but only slept two hours later since you were so excited. So you drifted into a dreamless sleep after thinking about Levi.

~~~~~

Waking up a bit earlier than usual, you pick out a good outfit and smile. You couldn’t stop smiling because that’s the effect this boy had on you. He made you feel so happy and safe and loved, which made you think about what would have happened if you didn’t break up. If he moved with you to London. Both of you would probably be married by now. But snapping out of that thought and jumping the gun, you head out of your room to see Hange watching TV. You stand in front of it and show off your outfit. “What do you think? Too much?” You ask and Hange squeals. “Oh, Y/n! It’s perfect. I still can’t believe your ex is a mafia boss.” She says and you laugh. “Me neither. But I have to see him again. I never knew how much I missed him until I saw his picture. Now send me the directions and I’ll see you later, Han.” You say and wink at her. “Stay safe. Take pepper spray please.” She says and you show off your can. Heading to your car, your phone dings with Hange’s tone. You see she sent the directions and you skip to your car. Levi.

Driving with the GPS on, you head into downtown Sina. You had never been here and you remember Levi saying all those years ago that you should never head there alone. Well, too late now baby. A lot of people walked around openly with their guns in their hands or holsters. You weren’t afraid. If you were in Levi’s ‘No Harm’ list, you were sorted. You have arrived at your destination. You hear your GPS say and you look at the big ass gate. It was black with a whole lotta cameras and whole lotta guards. Rolling down your window, you look at the camera and at the guards. One of them walked to you. “What business do you have at the Ackerman mansion?” He asks and you clear your throat. “H-hello there. I’m Y/n L/n. Levi is…” You get cut off by the man shouting. “She’s good. Let her in!” He turns back to you and smiles. You smile back and thank him. You drive to the house and park next to another car. Hopping out, a tall man waits for you. You walk up the stairs and the man greets you. “Hello, Ms L/n. I’m Mike Zecharius. The Boss would see you shortly. He’s in a meeting right now, so please, head inside to the main lounge while you wait.” He explains and you smile. “Nice to meet you, Mike. Thank you.” You say and walk into the house and wow. Was this place huge. It was a combination of white, black and grey. But mostly white. So Levi. You walk into, what you hoped was, the main langue and looked around. The walls had paintings and you furrow your eyebrows. Making your way around the big room, you realized: these were your paintings. Most of your work was proudly displayed here. Oh. Levi. It was you. You think and bit your lip to suppress a giggle. The one that caught your eye was the one that was in the middle of the wall. It was one of the first ones you painted which you had gifted Levi for his birthday. It was painted on black paper while you used only white paint. It was two albino peacocks by a lake, one had their head on the others with the words, “ ‘We Loved With a Love That Was More Than Love.’- Edgar Allen Poe.” You smile at the memory and the message that was written behind it. “Happy birthday & Merry Christmas, Levi” you start to say while running your hand on the frame, “My days have been so much happier since you entered my life. Thank you. It’s you, because..” “Because no one else makes sense.” You heard a voice complete the message and you turn around to see him. Standing there, with his full black suit and his hair in the same style from all those years ago. You smile so much and you could feel tears form but quickly wipe them away. “Levi..” you whisper and he smiles back to you. “Y/n.” He says and walk to you. You’re so overwhelmed by happiness that you just hide your face in your hands. You felt him right in front of you and you look up from your hands to be met with the sight of his chest. God, he smells so good. You feel his hand on your cheek and you look up at his face. He looked so much better in person. “Hello, sweetheart.” He says and you smile. “I-, oh my gosh. Levi. It’s you. It’s really you.” You say and move your hands around his neck and hug him. You tuck your face in his neck and smile. “It’s me.” He simply says and hugs you tighter.

You pull away from him, but still in his embrace and sigh. “What happened? I lost all contact with you.” You say and he moves a stray hair behind your ear. “It’s such a long story, Y/n.” Levi says. “How about you tell me over dinner?” You say and he raises his eyebrow and smirks. “Dinner? I can make that happen. Tonight? 8?” He asks and you nod. “Wait. Yesterday, at the bank..” you start to say and he smiles softly. “When I became the leader here, I was given the option of a ‘No Harm’ list. Your name was the first one I wrote down.” He says softly and you smile. “Oh, Levi.” You smile and look at him. As you were about to say something again, both of you were interrupted. “Boss, sorry to disturb. But there’s an urgent call for you.” One of his men say and he scoffs. “Tch. Alright. I’ll be there just now. Tell them to wait.” He says and looks back at you. “I’m sorry. But dinner..” “I’ll see you at 8.” You say and start to walk away but stop suddenly and bite your lip. You turn back and walk up to him and kiss his cheek. “Call me, okay?” You say and place a card into his pocket. Levi nods and watches you walk away while grazing his finger along his cheek. He could still feel your warm lips on them. He takes out the card and looks at it.

Y/n L/n Arts.

xxx-xxx-xxxx

Xoxo

He smiles softly and puts it in his inside pocket. Levi never wanted a day to go faster than right now. He had to let you go 7 years ago and he’s not going to make that mistake again.

———————————————————————

“I live for Mafia Levi.”

🖤🤍Thanks for reading🤍🖤

-Caddy.

#levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #captain levi #shingeki no kyojin #snk #attack on titan #aot #aot fanfiction #levi aot #aot levi #aot x reader #snk levi #snk fanfiction #levi x reader #levi heichou #snk x reader #captain levi fanfiction #levi fanfiction #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #levi ackerman fanfiction #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan x reader #levi ackerman oneshot

[kbsd]

not sure if you’ve answered this before, but what’s your process look like when you make an amv? i’m just curious and in constant awe of ppl who can make videos like you do :)

hello all!!! i have answered this before and i have a vid help tag with other asks i’ve gotten about stuff like this! but i’ve gotten several more messages along these lines so i’m just going to answer a bunch of them together (under a cut since i love to ramble about editing lol). i do just wanna say i’m definitely not the authority on video editing and obv everyone has their own techniques!

edit: i just finished typing all this up and it’s SO long so sorry in advance LMAO god bless anyone who reads this entire thing

so i work in news tv and we have a very specific workflow for writing scripts, sourcing video, producing, and editing. i’ve just applied that to making amvs! for every video i make, i copy the song lyrics into a google doc and adjust them to match the song i’ve cut (i often will trim songs for time and/or content purposes). then i start planning! i’ll mark down what clip i want to use for each lyric next to that line, and any sound bites i want to use (with episode numbers!). i’ll color code between video and sound bites and lyrics, so my scripts end up looking something like this (for my honeybee amv):

doing the planning ahead of time makes everything much easier when it’s a video that spans the whole show or involves a lot of sourcing, like honeybee or sports analogies. that way when i get to the actual editing process, i already know what i’m going to do and have a game plan. for videos like happy ending or believe it or not, where i’m mainly just pulling from a few episodes, i can just plan it in my head as opposed to writing it all down, and produce as i edit. obviously i do make in-the-moment decisions while editing—sometimes a shot doesn’t work the way i thought it would, or i go where the video takes me—but planning ahead definitely helps. i know some people use spreadsheets as well, with columns for lyrics, video clips, and sound bites if applicable. once you find a system that works, it actually goes pretty quickly.

as for sourcing clips themselves/finding clips within episodes, i talked about that here and kind of here. the short version is that transcripts are a must, and the supernatural wiki is hugely helpful by cataloguing all the hugs, prayers, phone calls, etc. in the show. gifmakers that tag episode numbers on their posts are your friends. it gets easier the more video you make—that’s another huge reason i make the google docs for each video (even the ones i plan in my head, i end up going back and making a loose script with episode notes just for reference). if i can’t remember where something is but i know i used it in another video, i can easily reference past scripts!

i also cut all my videos in the same project in premiere pro, so i can flip between them easily. instead of checking a past script, i can just go to the video sequence itself and copy the clip i’m looking for! this was especially helpful when i match cut together the 5x18 and 4x22 wall slam shots for my bestie video, and then stole it from myself for honeybee hahaha. at any given time i have at least 8 sequences open:

because of the sheer volume of videos i make, it’s worth it for me to download the entire show—i have all 327 episodes in HD, plus deleted scenes. if you think you’re only going to make a few videos, i’d start with scene packs. you can usually just google “destiel [or whatever ship/character you’re looking for] scene packs” and there will be any number of ones you can download. if you need other specific scenes, you can always download/torrent individual episodes or screen record netflix (that’s what i did before i got HD download links). i’m happy to share my links if you DM, but be warned it’s a lot of disk space (about 500GB on my hard drive). someone also compiled every destiel scene, downloadable here.

having every episode already loaded in premiere for all my projects also makes it a lot easier to source clips. once i use a clip in a video, i’ll put a marker on the episode file, so that after a while i have most of the important scenes/lines marked to easily find them. to give you an idea, this is my episode file in premiere for 12x10 lily sunder has some regrets (markers at destiel scenes, the car fight, hot girl cas, etc.). markers are the green tabs along the bottom:

premiere also lets you color code and name markers, so ONE DAY i will go back and color code them all. the ones above are all the same color, but in a perfect world, i’d have a myraid—for destiel shots like hugs, touches, looks; for important pieces of dialogue; for action shots; etc. but for now this works ok for me, so that’s a project for another time!

between detailed scripts, one giant premiere project, markers, the wiki, and my own memory, i have so many points of reference that i can usually find any clip i need in about 2 minutes max. sound bites are often harder to start out, or tiny specific shots i haven’t used before, and that’s when i turn to tumblr gifsets or beloved mutuals to crowdsource. but if you’re as obsessive about marking/keeping neat scripts as i am, it gets easier and easier with every video you make. that’s part of why i’m able to cut videos together so quickly. (also i want to stress i do this for a living and have to produce/edit a new piece for my show every day so i’m used to it. and compared to constantly updating content/sources and news that changes every day, 327 highly documented episodes that never change are much easier to handle hahaha)

this is all great for me since i make so many videos and plan to continue doing so, but if you’re only making a few, this level of work isn’t worth it imo. really it’s all about developing a system that works for you. whatever you do with episodes/sourcing, though, i cannot recommend planning things out in a script ahead of time enough. 

everything i just mentioned is producing, though. for the editing process, i usually do it in this order:

music first. any parts i want to cut, i make sure it all sounds smooth

then soundbites. i usually try to weave them into the lyrics—i have characters talk in breaks between lines or instrumental sections as much as possible. i’ll sometimes go so far as looped/extending an intsrumental part to make room for the soundbite i want there lol. if i do have dialogue over a line, i do the sound mixing/levels at this point as well to make sure everything is audible/one doesn’t overpower the other. (also i always include the video that goes with these bites when i drop them in, and decide later if i want to show the character speaking or have other clips cover the dialogue)

once i have all the audio locked in, then i bring in all my other video clips. sometimes i edit completely chronologically, sometimes jumping from section to section—it depends on the song or how i’m feeling

double check sound mixing. i usually listen to my videos through a few times, with headphones and without to make sure it’ll sound good no matter how people watch it

once i have picture and audio lock, i go through and color correct my clips. i’m basic and just use lumetri color in premiere, and usually just play with brightness, saturation, temperature, and tint until i like it

render and export! :)

i always have several audio tracks, but i try to keep my video tracks condensed. i’ll drop clips on a V2 level, and edit a section there, and drop the whole chunk down to V1 so i know it’s finished. that way when i leave and come back i can know where i left off/what’s done/etc. to give you an idea, this is the timeline for my what the hell video:

i always render as H.264 with high bitrate, and make sure to check “render at maximum depth” and “use maximum render quality” for the best quality. i’m sorry, but i don’t know what the equivalent options are in final cut, imovie, kdenlive, etc. i post on youtube mostly so i don’t have to sacrifice quality, but usually just using a lower bitrate will get you under the tumblr file size limit and it’ll still look good.

as for the anon who asked about “polishing”: first of all, thank you!! second of all, it’s in the details. all of this is a matter of taste and my own insanity, but here are some little things i always try to do:

after i color correct, i blur out any credits from the starts of episodes. i use gaussian blur for this, but really any blur tool works

as much as possible, i avoid clips where we see a character’s mouth move but don’t hear the words. in tv/film we call it “lip flap” and i just think it looks messy. also i’m trained to avoid it at all costs at work hahaha. it’s more for serious videos that this matters a lot to me (e.g. i think i did a really good job eliminating lip flap in my happy ending amv)—for comedy videos i don’t sweat it as much

i put audio fades on the start and end of every single audio clip i use, even if i don’t think i need it, to make sure everything sounds smooth

i use markers for timing, especially in action-y videos like what the hell. i’ll put a marker on the clip i’m using at the exact moment a punch lands, and in the song on the beat. if i have the magnet/snap in timeline tool on i can just easily snap them together instead of having to spend time finagling it

this is such a small thing but i dip/cut to black for a tiny bit at the start and end of every video. this way if i post with tumblr video player, there’s black between the loops, and it gives you a beat before the video restarts. i do this even on videos i post on youtube, just because i think it looks nicer/more professional

this is 1,500 words so i’m going to stop myself before i pull something. if you have follow-up questions feel free to ask and i’ll continue to add them to the vid help tag, but any more questions about sourcing clips or my process in general i’ll just link this post going forward. anyone who made it this far, i am sending to a telepathic kiss. thank you for reading and happy editing!

#i typed this all up at 4am so i'm just scheduling it to post sometime today #ask #vid help

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

MTV Unplugged presents: BTS

by Admin 1

What a time to not only be alive, but also be ARMY with BTS taking the MTV Unplugged stage on February 23rd 2021 as the first Korean artists in history to do so. It’s another marvelous achievement on the already highly impressive list BTS have to their name, another mark they’re leaving on history and another piece solidifying their place among musics greatest, at least if you ask me and everyone else who tuned in and was left extremely impressed and emotional, a mix of euphoria, emotional rawness, but also a sense of warm, soft, and gentle comfort and hope.

With this gorgeously put together setlist they’ve also proven, once more, that even when you take away all the high budget stadium stages, the dynamic and explosive choreographies and the fancy music video editing, and just focus on their craft as musicians and their most valuable instruments--their voices--BTS can stand their ground easily. Their talent and passion is unmistakable and shines brightly in all these songs, four of their own and one cover.

The performance was shown simultaneously on dozens of MTV stations across the globe, some watching on TV and others via official live streams, and yet others catching up with what they missed hours later. All the promo, hype and attention paid off and they showed that it was all worth it, that they are more than worth it, and that we as ARMY have every right to be proud of them and be proud of being ARMY.

So, let’s do what I love doing most and talk about each performance, shall we?

What an absolutely delightful, happy and funky way to open the show and introduce new listeners to just how fun BTS can be. The stage was one giant room filled with lost of little details, including a motorbike with a second passenger extension, arcade games, a football game, and a sofa. Right from the get go there’s this joyful aura around the members, smiles on their faces, little dance moves making their steps light and fun--they were having fun and subsequently we were, too.

How wonderful is it to also finally see Yoongi with them as well, even if it’s very noticeable (and understandable) that he’s keeping his shoulder steady and arm moving as little as possible? After all Telepathy was “his” song for BE and contains lots of little Yoongi signature features, most obviously his knack for playing with autotune in a way that is very audible yet never quite too much, just walking along the line in an interesting way. There’s a genius note change from Hobi in the second half of the song that’s one of the absolute highlights, just like Namjoon and Seokjin doing their little minimal movement dances in the back while grooving along to the music.

As Vminnies we get our own little treat with Jimin and Tae coming together to sing alongside each other and do their little dance as well which we’ve previously seen during the Dear Class of 2020 performance of Mikrocosmos. Then to finish off their little segment, they also do this funny little thing of pointing at each other with Tae as though acting like he (perhaps) wants to boop Jimin’s face/nose from afar. Absolutely adorable.

Speaking of which, can we talk about their cute Donald and Daisy Duck accents on their clothes and accessories which add this little sense of retro? As well as the fact that Tae is wearing the cardigan equivalent to Jimin’s Gucci sweater from his NOTES on Dis-ease video? I do very much enjoy these little details from the stylists. Also, has anyone else noticed that Tae has different in-ears? His usual ones were green yet here they’re translucent.

The way I gasped when the members turned to Tae and asked him to introduce the next song and he said it’s one that is very meaningful to him, honestly, I can’t even describe it. I was so, so happy but also getting ready to be swallowed by all the feels. I know ARMY sns had theories that we’d get Blue & Grey based on the visuals of that stage which we got in the teasers, and yet somehow I still wasn’t quite ready when the song began and we were graced with absolutely breathtaking vocals that went straight for the heart.

The visuals for this performance were perfect for the song while being interesting yet not too much that it would pull your attention away from the song itself. One by one the members sang their parts and found their places along the two main walls, the lighting cold yet on the white/grey side, none of them really interacting or looking at each other which was fitting with the atmosphere of that blue and grey feeling. Then, for the second half, the ‘stage’ switched to more of a blue lighting and we had moments where first Seokjin and JK sang together and then Jimin and Tae, their voices harmonizing so heavenly with each other yet still none of the members really looked at each other, at most looking into the camera.

I love how this performance put the focus on each member on their own but also in moments on the entire group, that feeling of being alone but never quite alone, that they have each other, and that we have them. Tae also really seemed to be highlighted during this performance, which makes sense when given the history of how the song came to be. But, really, each of them was just as visible and equally beautiful in this.

Speaking of beautiful, my jaw dropped when we got to see (and hear) Namjoon during his verse. Honestly, that mans beauty and handsomeness--it somehow keeps on increasing with each time we see him.

From anon: Omg vmin in blue and grey 😭😭😭. They coudnt even look to each other while singing “Don't say you're fine' Cause you're not Please don't leave me alone, it hurts too much” it’s my fav part by the way and their harmonization it’s heaven. I loved they choose this song to the mtv performance!

As much as this was supposed to be a surprise, MTV accidentally spoiled it hours before their performance was aired, and yet, despite knowing it was coming, I don’t think any of us were quite prepared for it right after Blue & Grey.

Fix You is a gorgeous song in its original version with a sad backstory, and it’s one of those Coldplay songs that they are extremely selective over when it comes to requests for official covers or use for commercials or movies/shows. They are about their entire discography, but I think it especially goes for this song, and yet they gave BTS the permission to do this official unplugged cover.

We also know the song means something more to the members, seeing as Jimin posted a video on their 6h anniversary showing the members during a trip they’d gone on together while the song is playing in the background. They also spoke about Coldplay during the press conference before their Wembley concerts, and Namjoon and Hobi had gone to one of their concerts a few years ago, as well as Tae on a different occasion. There certainly is a level of admiration and respect involved, a deeper connection to what they were singing, which was very clear and tangible during their performance as well.

Vocal line were truly outstanding in this, especially Seokjin (who took sns by storm as the “pink mic guy” with floods of praise and people wondering who he is, what his name is, because they’d all fallen in love with him--very relatable because same). Rap line switched between harmonizing with the vocalists in their low register and did a beautiful job of it. Namjoon harmonizing with Seokjin truly gave me goosebumps (and made my little namjin heart very happy). We also had Tae and Hobi harmonizing and sharing a brief smile with each other, as well as Namjoon harmonizing with Jungkook and Jimin, and Yoongi harmonizing with Tae and Jungkook.

The stage was also beautifully thought out, minimal yet captivating at once, all the members sitting on barstools in a line with the blinds drawn on the windows behind them, spotlights shining on them from above and others dancing behind them giving them a beautiful glow and turning something simple into something extraordinary and gorgeous. They truly didn’t need any more than that.

And like their performance wasn’t outstanding enough, we also saw Coldplay themselves not only tweet about it while calling the cover beautiful in Korean (and tagging the member’s twitter account instead of the _bighit one), but also post the same comment below the video on YouTube and share links to it on their facebook and IG stories, as well as sharing the video in their community tab on their YouTube channel. 

So, not only did BTS garner big approval from Coldplay fans and ARMY alike, but also from the original artist. A wonderful moment in music and between two legendary artists in their own right.

This acoustic version of Life Goes On is truly a masterpiece, so calm, soothing and offering that sense of comfort, togetherness, and this reassurance that life will go on, that we’re together in this, that we’ve made it through the blue & grey, that we’ve helped each other to “fix” ourselves, and that we can now slowly heal and grow from the things we’ve gone through. The electric guitar, the slow and quiet drums and on top of that the members voices, all of it coming together truly beautifully.

Their outfits kind of gave me UK private school or University secret society vibes, or as Admin 2 called it “ready to go hunting, we’re just missing our Beagles or Basset Hounds” which isn’t necessarily wrong. And yet the warm shades of brown fit the atmosphere of the song really well, complement it even.

While we’re “used” to vmin having their little moment, we only really saw Tae smiling towards Jimin, though the camera unfortunately didn’t give us a wide shot to see if Jimin returned his smile, though I’ll go ahead and say he likely did if he noticed Tae’s. Though honestly, Tae’s wide happy smile was enough to melt my heart on its own.

And then, to close out the night, we got a very funky and fun yet calm version of Dynamite during which, surprisingly enough, the members actually stay in their seats against all ARMY theories and bets (well, okay, Namjoon stood up for a moment, but sat down really quickly again and no one actually got out of their seats to dance). Who would’ve thought a day like this would come, especially looking at how they got up in previous seated performances of Dynamite.

I love the not so subtle flex of all their gold, silver and platinum records across the wall behind them, as well as their MTV moon men. With how humble they are about their awards and achievements, this felt like a good moment to highlight just how hard they’ve worked, how much they’ve achieved, before they got the chance to be on MTV Unplugged and that truly, if someone deserves to be there and showcase their talents, its them.

Looking at how many times we’ve seen and heard Dynamite, it’s fascinating how they still managed to create a version that was different from all the previous ones and felt fresh and new. Their outfits were simple and all white and thus didn’t pull too much attention onto them leaving the focus on the music and vocals. Tae’s adlibs were absolutely fantastic and they all just seemed to have so much fun with this performance, smiling and dancing in their seats, obviously having a great time. We even got Jimin smiling and scrunching up his nose happily at Tae while he sang! 

Overall this MTV Unplugged performance was a wonderful display of their talents and music merits, their vocals and rap, and just how outstanding they are as a group on this vast world stage. The setlist was perfect, though perhaps a little short. Honestly, if you ask me, they could’ve performed five or ten more songs and I would’ve remained glued to the screen through it all. And yet, still, I couldn’t have asked for more. I was left brown away and so extremely impressed despite being ARMY and knowing how good BTS are. They truly manage to find new ways to grow, evolve, and showcase their musicality with each performance. I also love how they don’t shy away from trying new things and challenges, like rap line singing and harmonizing with the vocals.

I’ll definitely come back to watching these stages many times in the future and they’re easily up there in my top ten of favorite performances of all time. Thank you, BTS, and thank you MTV Unplugged.

#BTS #BTS MTV Unplugged #bangtan sonyeondan #Namjoon #Seokjin #Yoongi #Hoseok #Jimin #Taehyung #Jungkook #music commentary #performance commentary #MTV Unplugged #vmin #namjin #Coldplay

[hookedonapirate]

Book Update

If anyone is wondering when Hard To Handle will be coming out, I have some news! So, for those who don't know, Hard To Handle is an original A Helping Hand rewrite featuring Harper and Owen (Killian and Emma) and will be part 2 of the series. And if you haven't guessed yet, part 1 features Audrey and Brady (Elsa and Liam from A Helping Hand) with a Harper and Brady friendship. For those interested in their story, I have a little treat for you below. However, this Sneak peek doesn't show Audrey and Brady meeting yet because I haven't gotten that far.

This is sort of an enemies to lovers story (I say sort of because their "enemy" status in the beginning is too complicated to slap a label on it) that starts off with Harper and Audrey butting heads with their new neighbor, Brady, and him and Audrey exchanging love hate letters. 😉 Then Brady and Audrey form an alliance and break up Harper and Bryce. I promise it's not evil like it sounds because Brady discovers Bryce is cheating on Harper. Remember, Bryce is the Neal of AHH.

This book is a bit darker than book 2 because of the toxic nature of Harper's relationship with Bryce, and because Audrey often pays the price for his shenanigans, but there's still humor and fun in this one.

Anyway, here are the first few chapters. I may post more if anyone's interested ❤️

Chapter One

Brady

There are strange sounds coming from the unit next door.

Laughter maybe?

Yes, definitely laughter.

More like Cackling. From one—make that two—females.

Two loud, annoying females.

Just great.

I take pride in being a fairly simple man who doesn’t need much to be happy. A few things like fishing, enjoying an ice-cold beer and having a few moments of quiet time usually does the trick. Even the sound the can makes whenever I crack open the pull tab of Coors Light is music to my ears. I finally have time to relax after sweating my ass off from all the unpacking I did. I just moved in today and couldn’t stand the idea of tripping over boxes or searching through them every time I needed to use something. I was unable to stop unpacking until every single item in those boxes had a home.

Now I’m able to sit back in my patio chair, prop my feet up on the plastic stool and breathe in the pleasantly cool evening air, enjoy a refreshing, ice-cold beer and some quiet time.

Or at least I was able to until my air of tranquil serenity was so rudely disturbed by my cackling neighbors.

They could at least close their balcony doors, so the entire building doesn’t have to hear them.

I’m already in a foul mood, and the two laughing hyenas aren’t helping. If anything, my mood is worse than it was when I was packing.

They, however, sound like they’re having a grand old time. Doing what exactly, I’m not sure, but it sounds like one of them needed a break from studying and the other one is encouraging her to get drunk and let loose. Which means they’re college students.

Just fucking perfect.

This is exactly why I moved off campus, even though it meant paying rent and enduring a much longer commute to work.

It’s just my luck to get stuck living next to two loud teenagers or early twenty-something-year-olds. I’m around college students all the time, considering I’m an instructor; I don't need to live next to them, too. I learned that very quickly.

Young adults, my ass. More like impudent children.

I feel like the property management should’ve included that minor detail in the apartment listing. Or that not everyone is required to follow their uniform policies.

A peaceful, friendly community? Ha!

The management will definitely be hearing from me about their false advertising.

“Dude, I’m sorry to tell you this, Harp, but your boyfriend’s a fucking loser! Even Elisa said so!”

“He’s just misunderstood!”

“Misunderstood?! Bryce is such a creep!”

“Is not!”

I take a swig of my beer through gritted teeth. I really wish I had a TV right now.

It won’t be delivered until tomorrow, though. Which is very unfortunate and inconvenient at the moment because I need a distraction from reality. Listening to their conversation makes me furious and sad at the same time because it reminds me of me and my brother arguing about his girlfriend. I kept trying to tell Owen she was no good for him, but he wouldn’t listen. I bet this Bryce guy isn’t married, though.

Or maybe he is; I really don’t know.

I need something to take my mind off the overwhelming urge I feel to hop on a plane, fly to Chicago and kick my brother’s ass for being the fucking moron he is. And let me tell you, the urge is very strong right now. Earlier today, Owen told me the woman he’s been seeing is married. They’ve been dating for six months, during which she was lying to him the entire time. I already didn’t like her very much to begin with because she was a controlling bitch—I’m the only one who’s allowed to be a controlling bitch to my brother—and because ever since he started seeing her, I haven't been able to hang out with him very much. Whenever we made plans, he canceled them because Naomi wanted to spend time with him instead. And he was my best friend. Now he tells me she’s married and that he’s still staying with her.

What the actual fuck?

He’s so brainwashed by her, I couldn’t talk a lick sense into that goddamn head of his. Now he wants me to be okay with them staying together while she’s still with her husband?

Fuck that shit.

“Okay listen, if you’re going to talk shit about my boyfriend, we’re going to need more wine.”

“Agreed.”

It becomes silent next door for a few minutes, which makes me sigh in relief. Soon I hear, “Son of a fucking bitch!”

There’s a litany of curses and then, “We need a new corkscrew!”

“But we’re too drunk to drive anywhere!”

Damn, if only I had a corkscrew so they could drink more wine, get drunker and become even louder and more annoying than they already are.

That’s actually not a bad idea, though. If they’re anything like my ex-girlfriend, the quicker they get drunk, the quicker they’ll be ready to sleep. The quicker I’ll finally have my peace and quiet.

I contemplate driving down to the corner store, but what would I even say if I showed up at their door with a corkscrew they didn’t ask for? Oh, hi, I was eavesdropping on your conversation and took it upon myself to go to the store and buy you this corkscrew so you could both drink yourselves into an alcohol-induced coma and I could finally have some peace and quiet?

Nope, I definitely can’t say that.

Chapter Two

Audrey

“Son of a fucking bitch!”

When I rush into the kitchen to see why my roommate’s cussing up a storm, I’m expecting the counter and floor to be covered in wine and shattered glass, even though I didn’t hear any glass break, but Harper’s just holding the corkscrew and staring at the top of the bottle.

“What’s wrong?”

“We need a new corkscrew!” Harper grabs the bottle of wine and points the top of it at me. The cork is still jammed into the neck of the bottle, and the worm of the corkscrew is stuck inside it.

Which is very unfortunate.

She’s been studying her ass off, except for the occasional interruptions from her asshat of a boyfriend, Bryce. She had a really tough time getting him to finally leave so she could study, and she had to literally push him out the door. So I thought Harper could use a break and I could feel saner again by indulging in some wine. But one bottle of wine quickly turned into two. Or rather, it would’ve if not for the end of the corkscrew inside the cork.

Fuck.

“But we can’t drive anywhere,” I point out, considering how tipsy we both are, even though we only went through one bottle between us. But we’re both lightweights.

“Hold on,” she says, picking up her phone from the counter.

I cock my brow. “You do realize Amazon Prime takes two days to ship, right?”

“Yeah, I know, Aud. I’m not that drunk.” After looking at something on her phone for a minute, she leaves the kitchen, returns with one of her tennis shoes and sets the phone down to pick up the wine bottle. She places the bottom of the bottle inside the heel of the shoe, raises her hands above her head and goes to one of the walls in a striking pose.

I rush over and put my hand on her arm to stop her. “Wait, what are you doing?”

“This will push the cork out.”

“But won’t the wine spill all over?”

“Not if I can only push the cork part of the way out and then pull it off the rest of the way.” She hits the shoe against the wall a few times, but the cork doesn’t budge.

“Why don’t we see if any of the neighbors have a corkscrew,” I suggest. “This method doesn’t seem to be working.”

She sighs and drops her arms. “Who do you think would have one?”

“What about Mandy? She’s a wine drinker.”

Harper shakes her head. “She doesn’t get home from the office until late on Mondays. And there’s no way I’m trying mister grumpy pants across the hall. It always seems like he’ll snap at any moment. Plus, once his dog starts yapping, she never shuts up.”

“What about the new guy who just moved in next door?”

I shake my head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. What if he’s an ax murderer?”

“I saw him earlier when he was moving in. He seems harmless enough, and is kind of cute, actually.”

“Yeah, well so was Ted Bundy. And I’d like to stay alive with my head intact, thank you very much.” I haven’t seen the new neighbor yet, but I don’t think going over to a stranger's place while we’re both a little tipsy is the best idea, for several reasons.

She flicks her hand. “Well, you don’t have to go. I will.” She grabs her keys, removes her pepper spray from the attached chain and throws her keys back on the counter before heading toward the door.

“Harp, wait…”

Ignoring my pleas as I follow behind her, she slips into her Nike slides. “I’ll be fine. I got my handy dandy pepper spray,” she says, holding it up.

Before I can talk some sense into her, she’s already dashing out the door and calling out over her shoulder, “If I’m not back in five minutes, call 911!”

I sigh and lean against the door, pressing my ear against it so I can listen for Harper’s screams or any signs of a struggle.

Chapter Three

Brady

When I head inside from the balcony, there’s a knock on the front door. I scratch my head and stride over to answer it, wondering who it could be. I just moved into this apartment today, so I literally don’t know any of my neighbors yet.

I open the door to a skinny blonde with green eyes, long, shimmering hair and soft pink lips. She’s easy on the eyes, but I have a feeling she’s one of the laughing hyenas next door. She’s not as young as I thought she’d be, though. She looks to be around my brother’s age. When I give her a once-over, I notice the pepper spray she’s trying to hide in her fist.

I wince at the sight of it. She doesn’t even have the safety lock on.

I offer a tight-lipped smile. “Hello.”

“HiI’myournextdoorneighbor,” she mumbles, her words slurred together. She’s a little tipsy and has to lean against the doorframe so she doesn’t fall over.

“How can I help you, next-door neighbor?” I ask, keeping my eyes on the pepper spray. The sight of it brings back too many painful memories. Memories I’d rather keep locked away.

“I was wondering if you had a corkscrew my roommate and I could borrow?”

On the balcony, I wanted to strangle the two neighbors who were interrupting my quiet time, but now I feel very protective. She’s obviously drunk, yet stumbling over to a neighbor she doesn’t even know. I mean, I like to consider myself an overall decent human being, or as I’ve been called before, “one of the good guys,” but this woman doesn’t know that. She knows nothing about me, yet she’s over here asking to borrow a corkscrew. And yes, she’s carrying a weapon, but I doubt she knows how to use it properly, and with how tipsy she is, I doubt she’d even be fast enough to use it.

“I’m sorry, I don’t.”

Her smile fades, but she looks determined, so I’m hoping she doesn’t go knocking on all her neighbors' doors asking for a corkscrew.

“I could buy you one,” I offer, trying to sound as polite as possible. Which is difficult when I’m irritated.

Her eyes widen in surprise. “Really? You’d do that?”

I cross my arms and give her a stern look. “On one condition.”

She nods excitedly. “Of course, anything.”

I’m so glad I’m a nice guy because this woman seems far too trusting, and I’m afraid of what would’ve happened if I were anything less than a decent human being. “I’ll go and get you a corkscrew if you return to your apartment and keep the noise down for the rest of the night. And maybe close your balcony doors so the entire building can’t overhear your childish conversation.”

I’m thinking this is a very reasonable request. I’m willing to leave the comfort of my apartment to get in my car and go to the corner store to get some women I don’t know a corkscrew, and all they have to do is put a cap on the noise.

But the scowl on her face tells me she doesn’t agree. “First of all,” she raises her index finger, “ruu-uuuuuuude!” She raises another finger. “Secondly, my roommate and I aren’t children. We’re having a stressful week and were finally able to relax and drink some wine when the corkscrew broke. But that’s okay, we’ll figure out how to get the cork off ourselves!” She turns on her heels and starts to head toward her apartment, but spins around again and gets in my space, jabbing a finger at my chest. “And thirdly, we weren’t being that loud!”

I clench my jaw as she storms away and slams the door shut after disappearing inside her apartment. I throw my own door shut, huffing in frustration.

Why couldn’t my neighbors all be sweet old ladies?

So much for having a relaxing evening!

I head back to my balcony when there’s another knock on the door.

“Son of bitch,” I curse under my breath as I march over to the door and yank it open. “What, now?” I ask angrily when I see her standing at my door again.

“I need to borrow a dress shoe.”

I furrow my brows, growing more agitated. “A what?”

She sighs as though I’m the one inconveniencing her. “A dress shoe,” she says impatiently. “Surely you’ve been to a wedding or funeral. You must have one.”

“I do, but why do you—” Before I get the chance to answer, she shoves past me and heads toward my bedroom.

I follow her in there and cross my arms over my chest in the doorway as I watch her go to my closet. “What in the ever-loving hell are you doing?”

“I told you, I need to borrow a dress shoe.”

Seriously?!

The audacity of this woman waltzing into my apartment and taking one of my shoes! “That’s funny because I never said you could borrow one.”

“Wow, your closet is super organized,” she comments as she looks around, easily finding one of my brown dress shoes and grabbing it from the shoe rack.

I’m still standing in the bedroom doorway when she tries to get through. I reach for my shoe, but she steps back and aims her pepper spray at me. I instinctively duck out of the line of fire and lunge forward, grabbing the pepper spray from her hand and twisting the safety lock.

“Wait, please don’t kill me! My roommate’s calling 911 if I’m not back in two minutes!” she cries, shielding herself with her hands.

I sigh in exasperation and extend the pepper spray to her. “I’m not trying to murder you, I was trying to get my shoe back.”

She slowly drops her arms and narrows her eyes as she snatches the spray from my hand. “Then why did you take away my weapon?”

I scoff. “It was a reflex so I didn’t get sprayed in the face since I wasn’t actually attacking you. Do you know how many times I’ve been pepper-sprayed in the face?”

“Why, because you’re a rapist?!” she accuses, stepping away from me and aiming her pepper spray at me again, even though the safety is still on. She probably doesn’t even know that, though.

I sigh in exasperation and raise my hands in surrender. “No, because I was in the Marines. Getting pepper-sprayed was part of my training. It taught me how to use my weapons and equipment.”

She lowers the spray, guilt etched in her features. “Oh, sorry. My roommate said you might be another Ted Bundy, and I don’t want to be raped and murdered.”

“Yeah, because breaking into your neighbor’s apartment and stealing their shoe is a good way to prevent that from happening,” I say, my words laden with sarcasm.

“Well, no, but that’s what the pepper spray was for.”

“It won’t do you any good if you don’t use it properly. You need to have a firm grip and use your thumb to activate it so it can’t be taken out of your hand like I just took it out of yours.”

“Thanks for the tip.” She raises the pepper spray at me again and presses the button to activate it. But it’s still disarmed. Once she realizes her mistake, her eyes widen.

I cock my head to the side and plant my hands on my hips. “Really?”

She offers an apologetic smile, then scurries toward me, ducks under my arm and squeezes past me, darting for the front door. “I’ll bring it right back, I promise!”

I let her go and exhale another deep sigh. What could she possibly need my shoe for anyway? To squash a spider or something? Can’t she use her own Goddamn shoe for that?

Right, she probably doesn’t want to get her precious shoe all gross, so she’s using mine instead. Which means my shoe will be returned with spider guts on the bottom.

Just great.

I go to the balcony and curtly grab my beer so I can head inside and not have to hear every goddamn word of their conversation again.

Pound, pound, pound.

What the hell?

It sounds like they’re banging something against the wall.

My shoe, perhaps?

Pound, pound, pound.

Then I hear a loud pop!

“Yessssss!”

They got the cork out.

“Holy shit, you made a mess!”

“Sorry, but at least we can keep drinking!”

“Woohoo!”

I head inside and close the sliding doors, hoping to go to bed and get some rest. But then there’s another knock on the front door.

“Fucking hell,” I groan as I go over to answer it. It’s probably the blonde neighbor with my shoe, but I’m not sure I want it back.

Sure enough, it’s her.

“Thanks for letting me borrow it.” She hands over my shoe with a small smile and heads back to her apartment.

“You didn’t borrow it, you stole it!” I call after her. But she completely ignores me.

“And sorry I tried to spray you...twice!” Before I can respond, she’s already inside her unit.

I bring the shoe to my nose to get a closer whiff of it. I noticed the smell as soon as she handed it to me. “Hey, why does my shoe smell like wine?!”

But I’m talking to the door at this point.

I shake my head and go back inside, trying to decide if I should try to get the smell out or just toss the pair into the trash. For now, I set it aside and go to the bathroom to get ready for bed, hoping my neighbors will down the bottle, get tired and pass out so I can have a quiet evening.

No such luck.

They turn on the music, and I can hear the pounding bass through the wall and also, “Yeeeeesssss, this is my jam!”

The walls are actually shaking.

Why do the other neighbors put up with this! It’s absurd, really.

They should be evicted.

I contemplate calling the police to make a complaint, but this is New York City; the police have better things to do than respond to non-emergency noise complaints. So I return to my bedroom, strip down to my boxers and toss my clothes into the hamper before slipping into bed. I can still hear the noises coming from the unit next door, but thankfully, I’m a patient man. I’m sure they’ll get tired soon and go to bed. Or at least I hope so.

But an hour passes, and the music still doesn’t cease. I groan and roll over on my stomach, pulling the pillow over my head, wishing I had noise-canceling headphones right now. I’m normally against the idea of something that cancels all sounds, because it also cancels sounds that alert danger. Like if a burglar broke into the apartment or there’s an explosion or gunshot. But right now, I’d do anything to get a good night’s sleep. Between arguing with my brother over the phone into the wee hours of the night yesterday and spending all day moving into my new place and unpacking, I’m completely exhausted. Not to mention I always start my day at five in the morning. My classes don’t start until eight a.m., but I like to get an early start to my day. I got up that early when I was in the Marines, and some habits just never die.

I’m about to get up and go down the hall to ask them to turn down the noise, but I’ve already asked her once and she got offended, so I doubt it will do any good.

Chapter Four

Audrey

I’m immediately regretting the two bottles of Barefoot Harper and imbibed last night. My head is pounding, I’m dehydrated, and I have to be at work in an hour. I take some aspirin, drink a full glass of water before jumping into the shower.

When I leave my bedroom, dressed and ready to go, Harper is shuffling out of her room.

“Morning,” she says groggily, wiping the sleep from her eyes.

“Morning, Harp.” I head to the kitchen to make her some coffee. I’m not a coffee drinker myself, I prefer tea, but I know Harper can’t function in the morning without a fresh cup of hot Folgers.

“Why did we drink on a weeknight again?” she groans, taking a seat at the table.

“That’s an excellent question.” I pour water into the pot and place it in the coffeemaker, turning it on.

Harper buries her face in the cradle of her arms on the table as I grab some aspirin and a tall glass, filling it with water. She doesn’t have to work today, but she does have classes. She’s already a registered nurse like me, but she’s going for her master’s degree to open up more job opportunities. And also because she’s an overachiever, when it comes to her career at least. I just wish she were an overachiever when it came to other aspects of her life, like the kind of men she dates. Or maybe Harper was purposefully aiming for Class-A levels of douchebaggery when she started dating Bryce. If that’s the case, then she definitely went above and beyond expectations. And while she is my best friend and roommate, there’s only so much sense I can talk into her. And I'm not willing to let some lowlife scumbag get in between our friendship.

“Here, these will help.”

Harper lifts her head and takes the aspirin and glass. When she pops the pills in her mouth, swallowing them down with a big gulp of water, she already appears to be more human again.

I grab my keys and strap my purse over my shoulder, heading toward the front door.

“Speaking of drinking, are you going to be here Friday night?”

I snort-laugh and turn to look at her, placing my free hand on my hip, knowing exactly where this is going. She’s still recovering from her hangover and already has booze on the brain. “That depends. Is Bryce going to be here?”

When she takes a slow sip of her water, I know what her answer is before she says it out loud. “Well, considering he’s the one who invited a few people over, yes, he’ll be here.”

“Then no, I definitely won’t.” I head for the door, trying to leave again.

“That’s a shame because Bryce has a good-looking friend who thinks you’re gorgeous.”

I spin around, cocking a brow. “Which friend?”

“Treyton. You haven’t met him before, but he saw your pics on Instagram.”

I walk to the table, placing my hands on top of the chair, my key ring dangling from my finger. “How did he find my Instagram account if we’ve never met?”

“Bryce showed it to him.”

What the fuck?

I furrow my brows in confusion. “Okay, why is Bryce showing his friends my Instagram account?”

She smirks. “Because Treyton was asking him if I had any cute, single friends.”

I sigh, not liking the idea of Bryce trying to set his friends up with me. I’ve met some of his guy friends, and neither is one I’d kiss if he were the last man on earth. “Sorry, not interested.”

I remove my hand from the chair and try to leave again.

“Oh, come on, Aud. Give the guy a chance. I mean, I don’t know him that well, but he’s fucking hot.” She picks up her phone from the table and pulls up something before handing it to me across the table. “See for yourself.”

I reluctantly take the device, a heavy sigh leaving my lips. I highly doubt his looks will sway me. Even if is hot, he’s still Bryce’s—

Holy crap.

He’s got those smokey grey eyes, a chiseled jaw and a little smirk on his beautiful face that makes me melt.

Well, fuck.

“So, what do you think?” Harper asks curiously, trying to stifle a smirk as she perches her chin on the back of her joined hands, her elbows resting on the table.

I try not to show how attracted I am to a freaking photo of a guy I’ve never met before, but damn, those eyes are spellbinding, and I’m pretty sure I’m blushing. “Okay, he’s a little cute.”

“A little? Honey, you and I have similar tastes in men, so I know you don’t think he’s just cute.”

“Yeah, that’s true. We usually do, which is why I have no idea how Bryce got your attention. He must have a big dick or something.” I narrow my eyes. “Does he have a big dick? Because that would explain a lot.”

Harper bursts out laughing. “Oh my God, Aud, you know it’s not all about the size! And no, he doesn’t, he’s average, but as much as you hate him, you can’t deny he’s good-looking.”

“Yes, maybe on the outside he’s cute but personality-wise he’s ugly as fuck.”

She sighs in defeat as I hand over her phone. This is just an argument neither of us will ever be able to agree on. Well, until she finally decides to take off those damn rose-colored glasses and sees Bryce as he truly is. But I know it would make Harper happy if I agreed to stay for the party. I know that sometimes she feels out of place considering most of Bryce’s friends are college kids. Normally, she’s the oldest one there, but you could never tell, because she has a baby face and looks at least five years younger than she actually is, so to the other college kids, she's one of them.

“Fine, I’ll be here for the party.”

Harper’s eyes widen in surprise. “Really?”

“Yes, but if any of his friends grab my ass, I’m leaving.”

She laughs. “Okay.”

The coffee machine beeps, so she gets up from her seat, grabs a mug and creamer and pours the steaming, hot liquid into her cup. She returns to her seat and sips her coffee as I once again try to leave. “Thanks for starting the coffee, Aud.”

“No problem. See you tonight.” I unlock the door, and when I pull it open, I notice a folded up crisp piece of copy paper taped to the outside. I cock my brow and peel it off, unfolding it. I’m expecting it to be from the building management.

But then I read the first line...

To the two hoity-toity princesses,

I immediately suspect it’s from mister grumpy pants across the hall, but the letter is in fancy cursive writing. Who even writes in cursive anymore? Maybe an old lady or mister grumpy pants, I suppose. But he normally doesn’t leave letters. He’ll just knock on the door with his cane and chew us out in person. Harper said the first time he knocked on her door to complain about the noise, he made her cry.

When he tries that shit with me, I give it right back to him and threaten to call the cops on his dog and have her taken to the pound. He tends to leave us alone now. So, I’m surprised he’s resorted to leaving us notes.

Can you kindly tone down your loud music and obnoxious woohooing, laughter and overall commotion that kept me up until 2 a.m.? Some people actually have to work on a Tuesday morning. I, myself, wake at 5 a.m. every single day and am now forced to go to work on three hours of sleep. Luckily the students I teach possess much more class and are at maturity levels you both obviously could never achieve if you actually tried. I know neither of you could possibly understand waking up early for a job or getting your hands dirty, as you’re city girls who probably live on mommy and daddy’s income and never worked a day in your lives, but some people actually have responsibilities and obligations, not just classes they can skip whenever they feel like it. So have a little respect and lower the volume a few notches.

This time you get a warning, but if the noise persists, I will be forced to contact law enforcement. Have a lovely day drinking your Starbucks lattes and trying to get rid of what I hope are nasty hangovers.

Sincerely,

The tired and cranky guy from 8C, thanks to his loud, annoying neighbors

P.S. The blonde who took my brown dress shoe owes me a new pair seeing as it now reeks of Pinot Grigio, thank you very much.

My nostrils flare before I even finish reading the letter. The audacity of this asshole! He doesn’t even know us, hell he hasn’t even met me in person, yet he makes all kinds of false assumptions about us.

I know neither of you could possibly understand waking up early for a job or getting your hands dirty.

What the actual fuck?! Harper and I both wake up at the crack of dawn to go to work at the hospital, and we’re constantly on our feet for at least twelve hours. We only work three days a week, but our jobs are emotionally and physically draining; I mostly use the other four days to sleep, recover, clean the apartment and run errands. So, for someone to say we don’t work or ever get our hands dirty is a blow to the gut. We’re nurses for crying out loud! Getting our hands dirty is part of the job!

Another remark of his that irks me: We’re city girls who probably live on mommy and daddy’s income. My parents would actually laugh out loud if they read this comment. They always tell me how independent I am. Hell, I wouldn’t even allow them to pay for my schooling even though they wanted to; I wanted to do it all on my own, so I had two jobs while I went to college. They also weren’t too happy when I took a job in New York, but they told me if anyone could handle herself in a big city, it was me. Not to mention, Harper had it way worse than me, growing up.

But the fact that this douchebag is so ridiculously wrong about us makes me smile a little. It will feel so goddamn good to make him see the error of his ways.

I’m still carrying the letter with me as I go to my bedroom closet and grab my stationary from the top shelf. I take out a sheet of paper and a pen from the box, replace it on the shelf and return to the kitchen. I hate the idea of using my good paper on this asshole, but if I’m going to stoop to his level and leave a note on his door, I might as well do it with class.

“What’s the note about?” Harper asks with furrowed brows. “I paid the rent just in the nick of time.”

“It’s not from management.” I take the pen and paper to the table and start writing out a letter. “It’s from our friendly neighbor in 8C,” I say sarcastically.

Her eyes widen as she reaches for the letter. “What did he say?”

I look up and hand it to her.

When she reads it over, the sleepiness in her eyes morphs into anger. “What the hell?! Who does he think he is? He doesn’t even know us!”

“Exactly.” I look down again at the paper and continue the sentence I was working on.

I can feel her staring at me as I write. “What are you doing?”

“Replying to him,” I say without taking my eyes off the page.

“What, are we in elementary school?”

“According to him, we are.”

“He’s just a douchebag, you can’t take anything he says seriously.”

I almost laugh. Normally she’s the one wanting revenge when someone wrongs her, and I’m the one having to talk her out of it. “Maybe, but this will teach him not to make assumptions about people.”

After I’m finished, I let her read it before I tape it to his door. I head to work with a smile on my face. This should teach him not to be such a dickhead.

Chapter Five

Brady

Dear self-righteous butthole in 8C,

~~~

Stay tuned for more...

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#my book #sneak peek #self-promotion #hannah writs

[labyrinthof-fan-fiction]

When Dreams Were Kept Beside Your Pillow

Part 7 of Try to Remember

Bucky X music teacher fem!Reader

Summary: The press learns about you and Bucky.

A/N: I needed to cause some kind of conflict, right?

Warnings: Anxiety, Stress, Press, Mentions of thoughts of murder.

Word Count: 1,964

Today was Bucky’s therapy day, which meant you stayed at you apartment, caught up on work and laundry, spent time with your roommate, and prayed that the doctor didn’t decide to lock up your boyfriend. It had taken about a month of you spending the night at the Tower before you both decided to start calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend.

You sighed as you folded laundry on the couch, the TV dully playing in the background. Your head snapped up when your roommate opened the door and rushed in. “Have you seen the news?” The asked, eyes wide.

“No?” You asked, your heart in your throat. What if Bucky had turned, what if he was hurt, what if….

They grabbed the remote and turned the channel to the news. “Breaking News: The Winter Soldier has a girlfriend. Yes, you heard that correctly. Sources say that she is a school teacher, Y/F/N Y/L/N.  We have a team headed to her residence for a statement.”

Your eyes widened as the television showed your apartment complex. You met your roommate’s eyes. “Y/N.” They said, as your landlord appeared on the screen. She was a stout old woman.

“Now just what the hell do you think you are doing trespassing on private property?” She snarled. “I have rights, and if you aren’t off this doorstep I will call the cops.” Other news trucks began pulling up.

“Oh god, oh god.” Your knee started bouncing. “Why the hell do they care?”

Your roommate rolled their eyes, “You’re basically dating a celebrity. You’re the first fresh news to hit the market in a long time.”

“How did they get our address?” You asked, eyes meeting theirs.

“Hey, don’t look at me. I didn’t sign up for news cameras to show up and disturb my way of life.” They answered holding their hands up. “Now you need to call that boy of yours to clean this up. We can’t live in this apartment until the end times.” They flopped down into the chair next to the couch. Eyes still on the footage of the apartment complex and the landlord getting even more aggressive with the cameras, going even as far as to bring out a broom.

Your phone pulled you from the screen, an unknown number filled the screen. You answered. “Hello?”

“Hey, doll. How are you holding up?” You heard Bucky’s voice murmur.

“About as well as you’d expect.” You answered, tension leaving your shoulders as you heard his voice.

“Tony has a plan. I need you to pack a weekend bag, tell your roomie that we can help them as well.” Bucky murmured.

You relayed the information to your roommate, they considered for a moment. “I’ve got too much work to do this weekend. I swear not to narc to the press about you and lover boy.”

“Sounds like you’re just getting me.” You answered. “Where are we going?”

“I’ll tell you when I see you. Tony’s afraid the bastards tapped your apartment.” Bucky sighed, you could hear his frustration through the phone. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Buck.” You stated. “It’s just the way of the world.”

You heard him grumble on the other side of the phone. “Steve’s going to be picking you up in fifteen minutes in the car. Tony is scheduling a bogus press conference that they won’t want to miss. They’ll probably leave some cameras behind, but based on the current footage I think your landlady has them handled.”

“She’s a hell of a woman. I’ll see you soon.” You whispered.

“Not soon enough.” He answered, hanging up the phone.

Your roommate glanced over at you. “You alright?”

“I’m sorry.” You murmured, meeting their eyes.

“You just make sure that Stark makes sure this apartment doesn’t have anything left over from the press.” They answered. “And make sure that man of yours is alright, don’t need any murders on my conscience. Now go pack. Captain America’s picking you up in ten minutes.”

You nodded and made your way into your room. You started throwing items into one of your old duffle bags. Your mind wasn’t fully engrossed in the process at hand. You left your room and grabbed your phone, ignoring the notifications that were blowing up. You looked out the window and saw the press dispersing to Tony’s conference. You saw a car making its way around the corner, you could tell that it was Steve.

“Have a good weekend!” Your roommate called as you left the apartment.

You pulled a baseball cap over your head and walked out the door to Steve in the car. He pushed open the passenger door for you. “Get in.”

You nodded, tossing your duffle into the back seat and buckling the seat belt. “I’ve got her.” You heard him say as he pulled away from your building. “How are you holding up?” He asked.

“Not bad, didn’t really see anything in the press that I wouldn’t expect.” You answered, crossing your arms over your chest. “How’s he doing?”

Steve glanced over at you, shaking his head slightly. “He’s doing. He got the news just after his appointment. Therapist pulled him back into her office before he went after the press. Sam’s got him at the tower now, letting him wail on something for a while.” Steve pulled into the Tower’s parking garage. “I’ll get your bag, you head on in. He’s in the gym.”

You were out of the car before he was finished with his sentence. You jogged into the gym, Bucky and Sam were sparring. “Buck?” You called, he turned, getting a jab from Sam in the shoulder.

“Dammit bird brain.” He muttered, jumping over the ropes and running up to you. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you against his chest. Normally you would make a comment about his smell, but now was not the time. He placed a kiss to the top of your head.

“I’m okay.” You whispered.

“I know, doll, I know.” He murmured against your hair.

“Alright love birds, time for damage control.” Tony clapped his hands as he walked in. You turned towards him, Bucky’s arms remained wrapped around you. Tony held out his hand towards you, “Phone.”

You stepped out of Bucky’s grip, earning a small groan from him. You pulled your phone out of your pocket and handed it to Tony, who tossed it on the ground and stepped on it. “Tony?!” You yelled.

He pulled another out of his coat pocket and handed it to you. “Unlisted, all your contacts and data moved over. And a personal Jarvis to keep tabs on anything happening around you. Promise not to listen in to whatever you and Winter have going on.”

“Thanks.” You answered, glancing at the new phone in your hand that was a serious upgrade from your personal phone.

“Pepper and I have a cabin upstate that we use as a retreat when we need to. You two go up for the weekend. Cap and I are handling the press here. Luckily the only trouble maker in the relationship is Barnes.” Tony rattled off. “I’ll be doing a full scan of your apartment to make sure no one has anything in there. Hope the roommate doesn’t mind Jarvis.”

You stood still, Bucky’s hand made its way to your back, rubbing small circles. “That sound alright with you, doll?” He asked, you realized that Tony hadn’t really asked permission.

“If that’s what Tony thinks is best.” You answered.

Tony tilted his head. “This is a good start. We knew at some point the press was going to get ahold of this and make it a story. With Barnes, we need to get you guys out of the situation for a while.”

“Tony I have a job, I can’t just walk away from.” You started.

“It’s been handled. You’re taking the next week off, the school and I are working security. I’ve decided to make a large donation, some Stark tech for the kiddos.” Tony said. “Don’t worry, admin is extremely happy. You are in no way in danger of losing your job. You as a teacher are well spoken of.”

“What, did you hack into my observation reports?” You asked.

“Did that months ago, keep up.” Tony winked. “Now you two kids go have fun for a week. Don’t trash my cabin.” He tossed keys to Bucky. “Not a scratch on my car.”

Bucky’s fingers entwined with yours as you left the gym. “I hope you plan on showering before we go on this road trip.” You snarked, bumping your hip against his.

He slowly turned his head towards you. “Are you saying I stink?” He asked, faking outrage.

“Well, I would like it noted that those were your words, not mine.” You answered, as he released your hand and pulled you close under his arm. A giggle fell through your lips, you could feel the tension in him still raging. You wrapped your arm around his waist and let him lead you into his room.

“I’ll take a quick shower then we’ll head out.” He murmured, pressing a gentle kiss on your lips before walking into his bathroom.

You sat down on the corner of his bed and glanced around the room as he turned on the water. A crushed cell phone was near the corner of the bed. You recognized it as Bucky’s phone, your knee started bouncing as your eyes started flicking around the room, looking for anything else amiss. Your search was interrupted by Bucky walking out of the bathroom in black jeans. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you.

“Doll, what’s wrong?” He asked, kneeling in front of you, hand lightly resting on your bouncing knee.

“Are you okay?” You asked, placing a hand on the side of his face, pulling his gaze to you.

“I am now. I wasn’t earlier, I was worried.” He answered honestly. “I saw them surrounding your apartment all through the television and I know it was my fault and there wasn’t anything I could do to protect you and keep you safe.” His thumb was rubbing back and forth on your knee. “I was frustrated, I wanted to get to you so bad.” He leaned into your hand.

“I’m right here. I’m okay. Not a scratch.” You murmured, he turned his head and placed a kiss into your palm.

“Are you okay?” He asked, blue eyes searching yours.

You sighed, fingers playing with his hair. “Ask me in a few hours when I’ve had time to process. But physically I’m fine.” Your knee was slowing down its bouncing.

“Let me finish getting dressed and then we can head out.” He said, patting your knee gently before going into his dresser and pulling a red henley shirt over his head. You followed him out of his room and into one of Tony’s sports cars, you had to admit you were surprised Tony was letting you two borrow it. You admired the car as Bucky began setting up the GPS. Your new phone buzzed in your pocket.

I had some clothes put in the cabin for you. I know in a hurry you don’t always grab what you need. -Pep

Thank you.

You smiled to yourself and let your head rest against the seat. You looked over at Bucky in the drivers seat, he gave you a small smile as he pulled out of the parking area. His right hand moved from the steering wheel and wrapped around yours. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze as he entered the highway. You rode in silence, the sound of the road filling your head. Bucky’s eyes were trained on the road, but his hand didn’t move from yours.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #james buchanan barnes #try to remember

[collecting-stories]

The Formal - ep. 05 - Georgia

Summary: You’re forced to endure the winter formal but you can’t resist cutting out early. 

A/N: How are we liking this rewrite so far guys?

Georgia Masterlist | The Walking Dead Masterlist

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

You had tried in vain, until almost the last possible moment, to get Glenn to take you to the winter formal instead of Aiden. With Maggie only showing up to see you in your dress and then go back home you were stuck with no one to talk to. Aiden had asked you back in September, when you had just broken up with Shane and wanted to appear totally over him, if you would consider going with him to the winter formal. 

You had jumped on the opportunity, figuring it wasn’t a big deal. You would go, hang out with Maggie and Glenn, then leave. It would be painless. Now you were stuck in a car with Aiden and his moron friends driving to the banquet hall in Woodbury while they passed around a flask of alcohol one of them stole from their parents.

“Hey,” Aiden nudged your arm with the metal flask and you shook your head. “Aw, come on. Be a good sport.”

“I don’t drink out of strange containers.” You replied.

“More for me!” He was already halfway to sloppy drunk as it was and he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you against him. You nearly cringed. Part of you was seriously considering finding Shane and asking him to bail you out of this dance.

The banquet hall was tacky in its decoration. Giant poster board snowflakes hung from the ceiling along with blue and silver garland. Balloons were everywhere and there was a sparkly silver backdrop outside for couples to get their picture taken. Aiden coaxed you over in that direction with his friends, all of them posing in some obscene way while you stood off to the side, arms crossed over your chest. You knew you looked like a spoiled brat refusing to have fun but you didn’t care. All these guys were stupid and immature and none of your friends had come to the formal and you really wished you were sitting at Daryl’s doing homework while he worked on the car.

“I’m getting punch.” You announced to no one in particular. None of them were paying you even the slightest attention.  

The music inside the banquet hall was terrible. Arguably the worst blend of hick country and radio pop that you had ever heard but no unexpected for this part of Georgia. You checked your pager once you got to your designated table. No messages.

“Hey,” Shane’s hands came down on your bare shoulders and you fought off a frown, of all the people to get stuck with while Aiden was in the lobby being a douche with his friends.

“Hey Shane,” you pulled away from him and stood up, crossing your arms. Your lavender colored dress was partially an ode to Footloose and the excitement you’d had when you first bought it was worn down to nothing now. “Where’s your date?”

“Dancing with friends.” He shrugged, “you look great.”

“Thanks.”

“Hey, listen-” just as he started to talk you caught sight of Aiden coming into the hall.

“Oh, sorry Shane. I have to go.” You hurried passed him and linked your arm with Aiden’s, fake smile falling into place, “do you wanna dance?”

“Sure babe.”

You danced with Aiden on and off, trying to stay close to him to avoid Shane. You smiled through a painful hour and a half of pretending to have a good time. When Aiden finally headed for the table you used it as an out, excusing yourself to the bathroom. A few other girls were in there, whispering to each other as you entered and sequestered yourself in the handicap stall. You checked your pager again, hoping that someone might have messaged you but no one had.  

You didn’t want to go back out there with Aiden and his friends but you knew that your mom would be furious if you came home now. She had put so much time and work into the dance and the decorations and the PTA that leaving would be like telling her you hated it all. Not a rational thought but your mother was never known for rationality. There was a payphone in the vestibule of the banquet hall that you had passed on the way inside and some coins at the bottom of your purse so you called for a ride home, knowing your mom wouldn’t find out as long as Aiden didn’t see you leave.

-

The familiar black pickup pulled up in front of the banquet hall that you were standing outside of, braving the cold so you didn’t have to go back inside. He’d barely ghosted to a stop when you opened the door and climbed inside.  

“Sorry,” you immediately apologized as you pulled yourself up into Daryl’s truck. There was a forgotten sweatshirt on the floor that you pulled onto your lap and slipped your arms through in an attempt to get warm. “I didn’t meant to make you come out I just wasn’t sure who else to call.”  

You could’ve probably called Glenn or Tara but then you wouldn’t get to see Daryl looking somewhat like he had just rolled out of bed.

“It’s fine.” He shrugged, “ya weren’t having fun?”  

“No. Aiden is a douche, I can’t stand him. My. mom was happy I was going with him ya know, cause his mom is the mayor but I can’t stand him!”

“So ya said.”

“Sorry, it was just a shitty night. I was only looking forward to it because Maggie and Glenn were going to be there but-”

“Maggie’s grounded.” Daryl supplied.

“Yeah.” You nodded and smiled. “I didn’t mean to drag you out of whatever you were doing.”

“Wasn’t doing anything.” He replied, pulling the truck out of the parking lot and heading back toward King County. “Am I supposed to take ya home or ya got somewhere else to go?”

“What time is it? If I leave before the dance is all done my mom will definitely know. She has to come clean up though so if I time it right-”

“I’ll just take ya back to mine.” Daryl cut in, “got something ya can change into.”

“Thank you.”  

“Ya look nice, by the way.” He was glad that it was dark in the truck because he could feel how warm his cheeks and ears were getting. He felt stupid for saying anything but he couldn’t help himself. You looked beautiful in your formal dress and it all felt a little surreal, even at 22, that he would be driving a girl home from her prom. Daryl was not the kind of guy that had ever gone to prom or even gone on a date before.  

“Thanks,” you nestled further into his sweatshirt as he drove you back to his house.  

He pulled in behind the Jeep, covered by a tarp so no one would notice it in his driveway. His dad’s car wasn’t out front so he led you inside the house first, offering up his old room so you could change. Whatever kind of kid Daryl had been you weren’t entirely sure but there was some evidence in his old bedroom. A single bed with plaid covers, stacks of magazines about cars and hunting, old scraps of metal and tools that he had probably used or still did. A far cry from the peach walls and stacks of books and Emory college memorabilia that covered the walls.  

“Your room is nice.”

“Ya really like ta bullshit don’t ya?” Daryl called from the living room.  

“I’m not bullshitting.” You slipped out of your dress and changed into the sweatpants and King County middle school field day shirt that Daryl had found in the bottom of his dresser. He’d even given up a clean pair of socks for you to wear. You came back out with your dress folded up in your arms. Daryl was sitting on the couch, watching some infomercial on TV. “Thanks for the clothes.”

“Figured ya still owe me a jacket so I’ll just add it ta yer tab.” He replied, shrugging.

“You said ‘keep it’ when I offered to give the jacket back.” You said, trying to imitate his drawl.  

“Yeah not for two months.”

“It’s not been two months,” you dropped onto the couch beside him, “it’s like, the second week of December.”

-

The trouble with having work on Saturday was that anytime you went out on a Friday night you struggled to get yourself out of bed when the alarm went off. But, usually, the alarm went off and you rolled yourself out of bed against your will and you got to work. A routine that wasn’t your favorite but wasn’t entirely unusual. What was unusual was your pager going off instead of your alarm.  

And something moving underneath you.  

You opened your eyes as you felt your body being shifted around again and only then did you become fully aware of your surroundings. You weren’t home. You weren’t tucked in bed after the dance, waiting for a cursed alarm to remind you that you had agreed to take a shift at 7am. Instead you were on a couch. Or more accurately, on Daryl, on a couch, in his house.  

“Shit.” You cursed, sitting up and grabbing your purse off the ground. The pager flashed a call me message from Patricia and you groaned, climbing off the couch and a just waking Daryl to call her back on the phone in his kitchen.  

“Patricia’s Diner-”

“Patty, hi.”

“Oh my gosh, sweetie, there you are. I was just about to call your mom!” Patricia shrieked over the phone. “I was so worried about you! Where are you? Your shift started 30 minutes ago.”

“I’m so sorry, I spent the night at a friend’s house after the dance, I’ll be there in like ten minutes.” You promised.

“Are you alright? You aren’t in trouble?”

“No, Patty I swear I’m fine. I will see you in like ten minutes.” You rushed her through the phone call, promising to see her once more before you hung up. Daryl was still laying on the couch, arm slung over his face. You ran back into the living room and nudged him, “Daryl, wake up.”

“Shit,” Daryl grumbled and rolled away from you.  

“Daryl, please.”

“Go away,” his words were half obscured by the couch cushions.  

“Fine, I’ll walk home barefoot in December back to my house, freezing cold-”

“I’m gettting up.” Daryl rolled back over onto his back and looked up at you the slightest grin on his face as he came further out of his haze.  

“Will you drive me home to change and possibly to work?” You asked.  

“Didn’t know fixing yer jeep meant I was your chauffer too.” He said, getting up and heading into the bathroom.  

“Thank you!”  

Daryl did exactly what you asked, driving you first to your house to change out of the sweatpants and t-shirt that he had lent you and then driving you to the diner for work. Neither of you mentioned the position you had woken up in. The ride was usually quiet in fact; even when he dropped you off at the diner you had said a quick goodbye and then gotten out of the truck.  

The pager had set you off so much that you hadn’t really gotten a chance to think about the way it felt waking up on the couch with Daryl, tucked in between him the cushions. Your head had been on his chest and the more you thought about it the more your heart raced at the way he had tightened his grip on you just the slightest as you slipped out of his arms to use the phone. While you wished you could’ve stayed there longer you were almost grateful to patty for calling you. At least it gave both of you a quick out so that you didn’t have to embarrass yourself in front of him.  

The last thing you needed was to embarrass yourself in front of Daryl.  

-

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[welcometophu]

The Meaning of Home, Chapter 2

The Meaning of Home Chapter 2

Tags for all Welcome to PHU novels will be available at the PHU tag list on Pillowfort. This list is under construction as of Sept. 5, 2021.

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Pawel spends much of Monday lounging around the house. He gets up to help get Conor and Emma on the bus, so his dad can leave on time for work. After meeting the bus in his pajamas, he walks back to Dad’s house and lies down on the couch. He doesn’t really need a blanket, but he pulls it up to his nose anyway for the comfort factor and spends the day dozing and streaming old movies on his dad’s TV.

He never makes it as far as thinking about cooking anything for dinner, so he treats Dad and Conor to a night out. It eats up more time than he’d like, and it means Conor needs to scramble to finish the last of his homework once they’re home, but it’s nice to spend an hour letting someone else do the cooking.

Later that evening, after Conor goes to bed, Pawel and Dad spend the next couple of hours finally talking through everything that’s happened. Pawel doesn’t want to leave things out, but there are a few things he avoids for Dad’s safety, like the government involvement, and one thing he just doesn’t know how to explain.

He hasn’t seen Chelsea in a while. She’s relearning how to work within the world without draining souls to stay alive. He highly doubts she’s planning on stopping by his father’s for a visit, and even if she did, Dad never got to meet her as anything other than one of Pawel’s friends a decade ago.

Yeah. That is a complicated mess that he has no desire to go into detail about.

They go to bed late, but Pawel still wakes early on Tuesday to get his own kid on the bus. He figures it’s the least he can do, letting Dad get to work on time on a regular basis again.

Alone in the house again, Pawel feels refreshed and awake.

And bored.

He puts the phone on speaker as he putters around the kitchen, pressing to dial the number for Pels. She picks up after two rings, her voice gravelly and low. “What? Did we burn your house down?”

“I’m assuming you would have called me, rather than the other way around, if you burned my house down. Since you’re the one staying there.” Pawel rifles through his father’s cabinets until he finds a slow cooker. It’s dusty, but he’s pretty sure it’ll be functional. There should be enough ingredients for chili around. 

He looks into a cabinet, and nearly bare shelves stare back at him.

Okay, maybe not.

“What?” Pels asks again. “You woke me up. Are you looking for my mom? I thought you had her number.”

Pawel finds tomatoes and beans, and starts emptying them into the slow cooker. “I do. I thought she’d be at work, so I called you instead.”

“It’s too early and—Dad, Dad, no, I’ll talk to him. Give me back my phone.”

“Hello, Ammon.” Pawel might not be able to hear Pels’s father, but he’s well aware by now that the ghost can hear him.

“He’s leaving, and I’m not putting this on speaker,” Pels mutters. “I thought he was going to start spending more time with Mom now, after the whole unbinding ceremony last weekend, but apparently she told him not to follow her to work.”

“Can she see him now?” That would be an interesting development. Pawel sets the empty can on the counter and reaches for a pad of sticky notes so he can scribble a reminder to himself to look into more detailed information about the ritual that the Burlington community performed for Pels and her mother in order to remove the bindings from their Talents.

“I think so. I mean, I’m pretty sure she can, but we’re not really talking about it. But seriously. Did you call for a reason? Cheyenne’s got these final projects to finish up since she left school a couple weeks early, so she’s not bothering me. Dad wasn’t bothering me. I was sleeping.” Pels grumbles under her breath.

“I just wanted to see how things were going.” Pawel peels off the sticky note and tapes it to the fridge, where he might see it later. Another search of the cabinets turns up chili powder and a few other seasonings. “Now that you’ve had a chance to settle into the house.”

“We’re fine. We’re figuring out how to be a family again without Peter.” Pels hesitates. “I’m learning how to see the world a whole different way now that I can see everything my Talent lets me see. Shane and Jess and I are talking a lot, and I’m going to figure this Mage thing out. So… thanks. For everything. Including letting us stay in your house while you’re gone.”

Pawel shakes some cocoa powder into the slow cooker, before adding a handful of dried onion. “Someone’s got to water the plants.”

“The plants were already dead when we got here.”

He laughs at Pels’s dry words. She’s not wrong. Pawel was gone for a month; everything went to hell, while his son went to stay with his dad.

Which, yeah. That brings him right back around to where he is now.

Pawel stares at the slow cooker. “If you need anything, you’ve got my number.”

“I’ll tell Mom to check in with you periodically. Oh and—” Pels hesitates before asking, “Cheyenne wants to know if it’s okay if she uses your backyard to practice flying?”

Pawel thinks of the time they used Alaric’s dragon to summon a Shadow in that same backyard. “That would not be the strangest thing the neighbors could have witnessed. But she should try not to break anything, including herself.”

“I think we can do that. Gotta go. Dad says there’s someone at the door.”

The line goes abruptly silent, and Pawel looks down at the screen of his phone as the connection is lost. “Okay, then.” He gives the vegetarian chili a quick stir, then puts the lid on, plugs it in, and switches the appliance on to cook on low. “That’s set, at least.”

He feels a little better, knowing that his home is in good hands, or at least, it’s not burning down. It sat empty for a month before; having someone live there for the summer should be better.

As long as none of the newly powered Mages set the place on fire.

Fire.

That reminds him.

Pawel checks one more time to ensure that the slow cooker is on and set to low, then heads back to the living room to dig out his laptop. He starts it up and finds the tab he’d left open for the outdoor music festivals, with a list of dates.

That’s what he thought: the festival that Rory and Thorne’s band, Phoenix Rising, is touring with will be in Buffalo this weekend.

Pawel buys four tickets. He figures Dad will come with them, and Conor will want to bring a friend. Probably Alan. And if Dad doesn’t want to go, Alan’s mom, Emily, might join them instead. He’s not worried if the tickets don’t all get used; he just wants options.

Conor will be pleased by the surprise, anyway.

He closes the laptop and looks back to the kitchen.

How the hell does his dad live like that, anyway? And what has Conor been eating?

No, he saw the answer to that this morning. Toaster pastries and cereal, and Pawel’s pretty sure that the last of the eggs were finished off as well.

Fine.

If Pawel’s going to be here all summer, squeezed into his dad’s small space, the least he can do is lay in supplies.

Pawel spends the day scouring the cabinets, making a long list of everything from prepared garlic and ginger for easy seasoning, to pantry staples like pasta, to critical items like various forms of protein for the freezer. His dad has a standing freezer in the garage, and even that seems woefully empty.

He loses time going through the sites online for each local grocery store, poring over the ads to determine which store will have the best value for this shopping trip. He types up the list to rearrange it by food type, so that as soon as Conor’s home they can head out and maybe they’ll be organized enough to get the trip done quickly.

“Dad!” The door bangs open. “What’s for dinner? I’m starving and something smells really good.”

“It’s not dinner time.” Pawel folds up the printout of the list and shoves it in his pocket. “We’re going shopping. Grab a snack.” His own stomach growls and he’s not sure how he made it from early morning to half past three without a meal. “I think I saw a box of granola bars.”

Conor lifts the lid to the slow cooker, inhaling deeply, while Pawel finds the last two granola bars. He tosses one to his son.

“Let’s get some food.”

“Can we get meat for the chili? That looked like it was all beans,” Conor grumbles. He buckles his belt, then directs Pawel to the grocery store. 

Pawel already knows how to get there, but he’s not going to tell Conor that. Not when Conor seems comfortable in this place and is enjoying showing off that comfort level. He stays silent while Conor points out the entrance to the parking lot, then finds them a space close to the door.

Conor grabs a cart from the corral and pushes it into the store. “Emma’s Papa picks her up after school, so she doesn’t have to take the bus. She said they’re doing stuff today, so she couldn’t come over. I thought we could work on our—Emma!!” 

Pawel catches the cart, stopping it from rolling when Conor takes off into the produce section. Emma’s answering shout is sharp and loud as Conor skids to a stop near a display laden with peaches. Pawel pushes the cart there, half an ear listening to the kids talking as if they weren’t together a half hour ago in school.

“Dad!” Conor waves at him, so Pawel picks up the pace.

He’s not sure who Emma is with. She stands next to an almost empty cart, except for a bag of peaches sitting in the seat. There doesn’t seem to be any sign of an adult.

“Emma’s shopping.”

Emma rolls her eyes, pushing braids back over her shoulder. “Obviously,” she says quietly. “Jennie had to pee. He’ll be back soon. She forgot to go before we left school.”

“Does your Papa have two carts? We can help you,” Conor offers. “You and me can do one cart, and Dad can do ours, and your Papa can do the other one.”

“You can call me Leo. I don’t think your dad would like it if you started calling me Papa like the rest of the kids.”

Pawel knows that voice.

He hasn’t heard the voice in a very long time, but there are certain phrases still etched in the deep recesses of his memory. 

He exhales, and very deliberately makes himself look at the man who has joined him.

He looks good. Older, yeah. It’s been more than ten years since Leo graduated and left town for college. Apparently he’s back now, and from the police uniform, this would be Emma’s foster father that works for Pawel’s dad.  He has the name ‘L. Papa’ embroidered on his uniform, just above the pocket, and his badge is still visible. Leo stands with one hand on the handle of the cart and reaches without looking to take a package of donuts out of the hands of the small girl sitting in the basket of the cart.

When he smiles, Pawel’s heart twists.

“I was glad to hear you reappeared,” Leo says quietly. His voice is a warm, low tenor, as careful and even as Pawel remembers.

“You’re fostering a Weather Witch.” It’s maybe not the best reply. Pawel refuses to wince when Conor snickers.

“I told you he’s single-minded sometimes,” Conor whispers loudly to Emma. “He’ll help find your parents. I know your Papa’s a police officer, but Dad’s a Mage.”

Emma’s brown eyes are furrowed and dark. Her lips purse, but she doesn’t say anything.

Leo takes two sheets of paper from his pocket, then hands one to Emma. “You know which cereals the boys like best. Pick one for yourself and Jennie that they won’t eat before you get a chance. Since you’re the one with me, you get to pick the pasta. I know it says twenty boxes of mac & cheese, but we only need ten. We’ll be shopping again next week.”

Emma takes the list and reads it over solemnly. “Nevaeh said we need more tuna, but it’s not on the list. I’ll get that, too. C’mon, Conor. There were some cookies on sale. Help me pick out ones that the boys won’t eat before we can.”

“Popcorn,” Conor replies. “Remember, we used the last of it last weekend? Did that get on your list?”

They roll away with the almost-empty cart before Pawel can protest.

The small girl in Leo’s cart has the box of donuts in her hands again. She opens the plastic carefully and takes one out.

“Jennie,” Leo says softly.

“I need sugar to sparkle,” she whispers around a mouthful of chocolate cream.

Speechless feels so strange. Pawel can’t remember the last time his tongue has been this tangled. “I—” He tries to break his own silence, and fails miserably.

“Things get chaotic with five kids in the house,” Leo says. When he smiles again, his pale green eyes crinkle around the corners with tiny lines that definitely weren’t there before. They match the faint hints of salt in his dark hair. “Conor’s got a lot of energy. He probably keeps you on your toes.”

“Dad says I’ve been cursed with a kid that’s just like I was,” Pawel says. He pushes his hand through his hair, trying to figure out how to recover his balance. “He didn’t tell me you were one of Emma’s foster fathers. Just that she had two of them. Foster fathers. And two missing parents.”

Meeting his ex-boyfriend shouldn’t be this unsettling.

Pawel blames it on the fact that he’s probably still in a sleep deficit—two weeks is not enough time to catch up on missing sleep for several months.

“There’s a local teacher who works with a group that finds placements for Talented kids who need Talented families to stay with.” Leo has the second page of his list in his hand, and he refers to it while picking out produce.

Right. Shopping.

Pawel looks at his own list and tries to focus on that to give himself a little distance and wrangle his brain back into working order. Salad. They definitely need things for salad. And fresh vegetables for roasting wouldn’t be bad.

“Alice asked Colt if he knew anyone who might be able to take on kids about four years ago, and when he said we would, she put us in touch with Lucy and Rowan, and that’s how we got Matt, our first foster kid.”

Leo’s voice rolls over Pawel, dropping tidbits of information that he struggles to grab onto.

“Matt’s not bad,” Jennie says around a mouthful of donut. “Sometimes.”

Pawel latches onto the names, his fingers closing around a broccoli crown and holding it a little too tightly. He fumbles with the plastic bag. “Lucy and Rowan? And… Colt?” He had to have heard those wrong.

He manages to get the bag open and shoves two broccoli crowns into it, dropping them in the basket of his cart.

Leo is silent.

When Pawel looks at him, Leo stands with his fingers wrapped around the handle of the cart, his grip tight. “Colt Harrison,” he says. “My husband. You—”

“Dated him in high school, yeah.” Pawel finishes Leo’s sentence for him.

That’s… too much information. Pawel is struggling to assimilate it.

“Dad did not mention that,” he mutters.

“This doesn’t have to be weird.” Leo grabs the container of donuts and moves it to another area of the cart. Jennie could still get to it, but she pouts instead, slouching down in one corner of the basket, her lower lip sticking out and flecked with chocolate. “Colt and I met when he was interning at the law office where he works now. We’ve been married about three years. We didn’t even know each other back in high school.”

“It doesn’t have to be weird,” Pawel echoes. He’s right, of course. It shouldn’t be weird. It’s not weird at all. People meet. They fall in love. They get married. They have kids. Sometimes there’s a small world effect and it turns out that they may have already been connected beforehand.

That’s all Pawel is in this; an ancient history connection.

“Your dad talks about you all the time,” Leo says. He pulls a napkin from his pocket and cleans Jennie’s fingers. “Try not to touch anything else,” he admonishes gently before tucking the dirty napkin back in his pocket. 

He’s so careful with her. Pawel remembers when Leo used to take care of his younger siblings. It only makes sense that he’d be good with kids now. As big and scruffy and rough looking as he is, he’s gentle, too.

“I need to—” Pawel holds up the list, showing just how long it is. “Dad’s cupboards are empty. I’m not sure what he and Conor have been eating, and I get the feeling that it’s takeout so I really don’t want to know. I need to stock up.”

“So do we. Matt’s eleven and Clan, and Duke’s fourteen. We go through a lot of food in our house.” Leo heads toward the back of the store. “Come on. We’ll catch up with the kids if we get moving.”

Pawel exhales and trails behind Leo. Jennie peeks around him, her thumb in her mouth as she looks at Pawel. Small brown brows furrow deeply before she turns away and curls up.

Her snores are adorable little rasps of sound. He can’t think how she’s sleeping through the rattle and squeak of the cart she rides in. Still, she’s silent as they work their way through the aisles, collecting items from their respective lists.

They turn down one aisle and spot Conor and Emma from a distance. Conor has sparks around his hand while Emma reaches for something falling from the shelves.

Pawel coughs, and Conor turns to give him an innocent look.

Wait. That reminds him.

“You’re taking in Talented kids,” Pawel says slowly. “So you or Colt must be—”

“We both are,” Leo says, glancing at him sideways. “I grew up Clan. Colt’s Emergent, but that’s his story to tell. I heard about you being a Mage from your dad. He’s proud of everything you’ve done at PHU.”

Pawel waves that away. “Youngest dean. Newest department. Only real expert on Talent as a whole because I’m the only person who’s bothered to go down the rabbit hole far enough to study it formally.”

“It’s still impressive.” Leo huffs.

“I just… I never knew.” Pawel thinks back and tries to catalog Leo’s family based on what he knows of Clan. He didn’t interview them for his thesis; they weren’t on his radar as a large Clan community. They grew up as a part of the town.

“You weren’t meant to.” Leo dips into his pocket and hands the napkin back to Jennie, who has somehow woken from her nap and polished off a second donut while they weren’t paying attention. “That was before the Emergence. We took a lot of care to be able to live here without anyone knowing.”

“But your community—”

“Widespread and buried within this town and the surrounding ones. We never really wanted to withdraw from the rest of the world. Which is what makes us good candidates for fostering. We don’t have those same prejudices that some might have.” Leo drops a hand to the top of Jennie’s head, and she looks up at him, smiling brightly.

There are, indeed, sparkles all around her, the air shimmering with her contentment and happiness.

“Conor wants me to help find Emma’s parents,” Pawel says quietly. “At the same time, I’m not sure if he really wants me to get involved, after everything that happened this last year. What do you—”

“I think they’re dead,” Leo says quietly. His hand still rests atop Jennie’s head, but his gaze is fixed on Emma. “I can tell you what little we know, but everything points to them being dead. The question is what happened to their bodies.”

Unfortunately, Pawel’s had experience with issues like that and can think of at least one scenario.

Which might mean they’re not dead.

They also might not be prepared to be parents anymore, either.

Leo pitches his voice louder. “You should come over for dinner some night.”

Both Conor and Emma turn to look at them. Emma grips the side of the cart, stepping up and holding on while Conor gives it a good push before jumping up himself. It sends them racing towards Leo and Pawel, until Pawel puts up a hand, throwing out a gentle cushion of magic to stop them before they crash.

“Yes!” Conor yells. “Dinner!”

“You could come over and meet everyone. If you want to.” Emma’s gaze drifts away, like she really doesn’t care about the answer.

“They’re like my second family. Third, maybe, because of Alan, but my second one here,” Conor insists. “And Emma’s dads are really nice.”

“They aren’t my dads.”

“I’m sure Colt would love to see you, too,” Leo adds.

Thanks for the gut punch.

“He says yes,” Conor says quickly. “Right dad? You say yes.”

What else is he supposed to do?

“Yes.” Pawel fishes out his phone, unlocking it and staring down. He doesn’t resist when Leo slips it from his fingers, opening up his text app and sending something.

Leo places the phone back in Pawel’s hands. “The first number is mine, the second is Colt’s. In case you don’t still have them.”

“I fried my phone and lost everything,” Pawel admits. “Back when I Emerged. So. Thank you.”

“It’s good to see you.” Leo’s touch is heavy and warm where he claps his hand against Pawel’s shoulder, then squeezes. 

Pawel could hug him, but he thinks that might be awkward. He’s never had this situation. He has three exes—two of them he hasn’t seen since they broke up, and the other one is Chelsea. Which is just complicated.

“Yeah, you too.” He watches as Leo walks away, Emma pushing the second cart beside him. Pawel wonders just how distracted Leo must feel since Jennie looks like she’s grabbing her third donut.

Or maybe that’s just how it is. Maybe he spoils his kids with plenty of sugar.

It’s not like Pawel knows anything about how Leo’s life is now.

Conor tugs sharply at Pawel’s shirt. “Dad. When are we going to dinner over at Emma’s house?”

Pawel looks down at his phone, at the new conversation sitting there. All it says is, this is Pawel.

He locks his phone and shoves it in his pocket. “I don’t know yet, but not tonight. Let’s go find that meat you wanted for the chili. Chicken might be good. We could sauté it up quickly and add it so it’ll get a couple hours in the slow cooker with the rest. Or we could cook it up with spices and add it afterwards.”

“You’re just saying that because chicken is healthy,” Conor grumbles. “I got more toaster pastries. Dziadziu lets me eat them.”

“I let you eat them, too, just possibly not in the same quantities,” Pawel protests. It’s not an argument he’s going to have right now, anyway.

He’s going to focus on finishing up the shopping, and finishing cooking dinner.

He’s going to focus on anything other than the fact that somehow both of the boys he dated in high school grew up to meet each other and end up married.

Yeah, he’s going to do his damnedest to focus on anything but that.

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#welcome to phu #welcometophu #the meaning of home

[blackevermore]

x Lo So

{Bruno x Chia}

Summary: What did Chia do when the gang was away

Notes: I had this idea while listening to old timey music of Chia waiting for the gang to come back but accepting their faith. This is technically the first time she admits her feelings for Bruno.  In all honestly this is a brain dump. Aslo sorry for all the mistakes and blah I wrote this in one take ;;

Word Count: 2.5K

"If you understand how dangerous this is going to be for my gang and I. I would appreciate it if you didn't come to Italy at all."

That had been the last thing he said to her over the phone before hanging up. At first she had been upset he would hang up on her without hearing her protest. But now she understood he didn't want to hear the pain he left in her heart. He hung up so that the last memories of her voice were happy ones. Just as she couldn't bear the white noise of the line ending, he couldn't handle the sound of silent tears falling down her face onto the phone. Chia knew she couldn't make promises out of the impossible so asking him to be safe was fruitless. Telling him to come back to her in one piece was teasing false hope of the faith chosen for him. 

Chia knew there was no point in trying to call him back. He would have already destroyed the phone and threw it away. If there were ways to do so, Bruno would completely ease himself from her memory if he meant sparing her for what was meant to come. In a way, he was grateful he couldn't. If he were to die, many would mourn him, but it would her, besides his gang, from the heavens he would watch over and send wind blowing kisses to. Every day when the wind blew past her face and a cold breeze touched her cheek, it would be him telling her he was free and finally home. But he wasn't dead yet and she wasn't mourning.

Chia knew it was best to stay away from Italy while issues started to rise from the underground. Word had made it all the way back to her father's empire that Passione was currently under fire. Like Pompeii, Passione's volcano had finally erupted and unknown to the innocent lives of Italy danger was shifting. But Chia didn't care and within two days of the phone call with Bruno she was on a plane to Naples from Cameroon. Naive to blind hopelessness when she stepped off the plane she made her way straight to Le Libeccio. She knew Bruno wouldn't be there waiting in the back with a glass in hand listening to the record player. Nor would be  Abbacchio sitting at the table with his headphones on blocking out a petty argument between Narancia and Fugo. Chia didn't even have hope that when she hung up her coat at the door and waved to the host that the latest member Mista would catch sight of her. Bruno had promised he would finally introduce her to Mista the next time she visited.

As she took her seat at the gang's table in the back, she made sure to sit in the extra chair. She knew from memory how the gang preferred to sit. Bruno always left of Abbacchio and right of Fugo. Narancia sat to Abbacchio’s right, which left an empty chair. Chia could guess that empty chair was now Mista's. But it didn't make sense why there was another chair. Chia knew it couldn't be true that Bruno always had an extra chair at the table just in case. Nor would it be true that an extra chair was there for her. But in the moment of wishful thinking Chia pretended he did do it for her. In the quiet back room of the restaurant, Chia saw the imprint of the gang enjoying another day with each other. Bruno would finally make it back to the table with information about the day. Abbacchio would only listen long enough to understand it was a free day. Narancia would cheer, but Fugo would remind him he was still behind on his homework, instantly killing Narancia's spirit. A figure in a weird hat would take the seat next to Chia, but before the figure could introduce himself, someone was calling for her attention.

"Ma'am?" The waiter said, a few steps further than usual. He had a look of worry on his face as he waited for Chia to respond.

"Uh?" Chia turned her head blinking a few times to bring herself back to reality.

"Are you ready to order?" The waiter asked gently, he could sense that air of sadness and worry coming off of the girl. He too was worried about Bruno and his gang, the whole town was when it became clear they were missing for a few days. 

"Y-Yes," Chia responded.

~~~

Every day since her arrival, Chia would walk from her hotel to the restaurant for lunch and dinner. The host would greet her promptly and walk her to her seat asking about her day. At first Chia thought it was odd but then it became clear that he only wished to soften the misery she was feeling.

"Your meal will be out soon, ma'am. Your worries will be over soon as well." Chia wanted to ask the man how he would know that. Why would he say it if he had no proof that Bruno was alive? When the questions in her mind became too loud she quickly reached for the wine glass to silence them. The taste was awful and she hated every second of it rolling down her throat. She wasn't sure how Bruno and Abbacchio would ever sit and drink this so casually. When the food came she thanked the host and tried to enjoy it but the joy of Italian food didn't fill her. 

"Chia?" The voice that called to her wasn't foreign but it wasn't the voice she wanted to hear. Slowly Chia turned around and saw Fugo standing in the arch that separated the main sitting area from the back. She stood from her seat ready to greet Fugo, but her legs grew heavy, and she fell back into her seat. Fugo hurried to her side to catch her, once Chia was in her seat correctly he could see the tears bubbling in the corners of her eyes. 

"You left them?" Chia said not above a whisper.

Fugo's breath hitched and he became hesitant to answer.

"I had to." Fugo's guilt started to crawl up his back as Chia looked him in the eyes. He didn't see anger, just like Bruno, there was no disappointment. Fugo wanted to explain himself. To ensure her that he was just as loyal to Bruno as he had been before everything. But the worlds were stuck. His mind was racing trying to find the words to tell her it hurt him so much to walk away. "I couldn't-"

Chia saw the tears forming in his eyes and she pulled him in for a hug, "I know Fugo, I understand." She held him like a mother happy to have her child back. They shared the space to cry together. Fugo felt heavy in her arms and she knew she felt the same to him. Chia was happy to see Fugo, he was her last ounce of hope.

~~~

"I have to go." Fugo stood at the arch of the back room with his head hanging.

"I know," Chia said, sipping her tea heartbroken by his news.

" If I could I-"

"Fugo." Chia sat her cup down and shook her head to dismiss him. Fugo felt shame but he had to do as he was ordered. Chia meant nothing to him personally, which made it easy for him to walk away from her. But he knew that to someone else she was a part of a bigger world and he had to show his respect. If he was being repositioned, that meant Bruno and his friends were still alive. 

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"I'll come by when I can." With that, Fugo walked away with nothing more than another hole in his heart. He didn't have to see Chia's red eyes and running makeup. He didn't have to hear her cry or allow her tears to rip him apart. Chia was safe where she was, and so was he, his survival meant more than the tears of someone's lover.

~~~

"Fugo, why is Rome on fire?" Chia rose her drink to her lips as she watched the news. He wasn't meant to actually know the answer. He was r meant to give her hope that it had something to do with Bruno.

"I don't know." He responded, refusing to look at the tv. Chia continued to watch the tv as the news anchor tried to put together what was going on in the background. Right as the news anchor stepped out of the way of the camera Chia was sure she saw someone in a white suit stumbling across the intersection. Her eyes widen and she shakenly sat her cup down on the table. Unknow to her Fugo had seen it too and held his breath.

"Fugo-"

"I don't know."

~~~

It was Sunday morning, Fugo was gone again and told her he wouldn't be back anytime soon. He had expected her to say farewell or something in those sorts. However, Chia did no such thing and told him to come when he could as if she would be staying in Italy. She wouldn't for today was her last day before packing up and going back to the states. That morning was peaceful and the air outside seemed to have life in it after the events of two days before. The people of Italy seemed to magically breathe life into her. In her days of staying in Italy she had gone through the seven stages of mourning. She had accepted that if the gang were to come back, Bruno wouldn't be among them. She had accepted that her love confession would be to a headstone when they lower him six feet under. She had already imagined that it would be Abbacchio that hears her and turns the others away as she said her final goodbyes. Or maybe none of them would come back and it would be just her and Fugo. Fugo may have had his own life outside of hers, but in silence, they shared their grief. He wouldn't walk away from her even if he genuinely wanted to. 

Chia could feel the rays of the sun shining on the back of her neck against her emerald. She ran a hand over the gem and sighed. She had to get going to start packing for the long trip back home. She finished what was left of her breakfast and stood to put on her coat. She paid her tab and waved goodbye to the host and waiter. As she made it to the door she pulled on the handle right as someone pushed. She stumbled back a bit and the person on the other side caught.

"My apologies ma'am." The stranger helped her to her feet. Chia looked up to the man holding her and blushed in embarrassment. 

"No I'm sorry, I didn't see you on the other side." Chia smiled nervously and tried to sidestep the man with a nod. But when she made it around him she right into another person. She pulled away quickly and covered her face.

"I'm so sorry!" She said.

"No no it's my fault! I should have seen you. A pretty like you is hard to miss." The new stranger winked at her and Chia nearly tripped over her feet to getaway.

"Giorno move your ass out the way, my chest hurts and you standing there makes it hurt more." Chia snapped her head around when she heard Abbacchio's rough and grumpy voice. He was wincing a bit as he pushed past the two strangers in the door. Chia wanted to reach out and stop him but she didn't get the chance when she was quickly yanked from here she stood into a tight embrace.

"Chia!" Narancia yelled and pulled her off her feet and spun her around. Chia was too shocked to react so she stayed still. "You must have heard what was going on, it was crazy, first we got a new guy, that him Giorno, then Bruno become a capo, then we had to protect Trish, you'll like Trish, she's a bit mean but she's nice!" Chia couldn't even hang on to any of his words as Narancia tried his best to recall everything. While he was in the middle of something or the other about Abbacchio getting hurt Chia pulled him into a hug. She buried her face in his shoulder and he patted her back.

"You're safe Nara, you've made it." Chia could feel the tears starting to fall before she could try and hold them back.

"I'm always safe. I told you I would stay safe." Narancia gave her a hug back then pulled away when he saw Mista coming up the side of him.

"Oi! Narancia this is your girl?" Mista looked Chia up and down spectacle. Narancia nearly choked on air as he threw his hands up to protest.

"No!"

"Then who is she?" Mista smirked and narrowed his eyes at Narancia trying to get the truth of out him. He poked Narancia a few times trying to egg him on to spill the beans.

"Narancia, Mista, stop harassing people." Mista stopped his teasing when he heard his capo behind him. Narancia smiled and whispered a quick 'see ya' to Chia before pushing Mista into the restaurant against his will. When the boys moved out the way of Chia she felt her heart skip a beat. The last few days seemed like years and Chia was already accepting the faiths. She had cried too much already and prayed to nothing. She was sure that her wishes were left unheard and the days would continue on. 

But before her stood Bruno is his amazing mafia glory. Glowing with the sun as his halo. He was wrapped in bandages and nursing an arm in a slash under his jacket. He looked tired and in need of a proper rest but underneath it all he was relieved to still be alive. When Bruno saw Chia he felt the world stop, much different than before. His heart started to race a mile a minute but he had to keep his calm and collected composure. On his good arm hung a young girl with soft pink hair. She looked towards Bruno then towards Chia before letting him go and nodding with a smile towards Chia.

"You hung up on me, Bucciarati." Chia was the first to speak up.

"I'm sorry," Bruno responded.

"You worried me, Bucciarati."

"I know."

"I thought for sure that would be the last time I heard your voice."

"It should have been," Bruno moves closer to Chia and hesitantly takes her hand. Chia looked him in the eyes to see if there was anything that followed those words. Bruno was never one to say what was entirely on his heart. You had to look in his eyes to see his hidden emotions. "But it wasn't." 

"I love you, Bruno."

"I know." Bruno leaned in and took Chia's lips into his and for the first time in a very long time Bruno allowed the world and worries around him to melt away. The heavens would have to wait or him once again. For now, he had to live on for one more person. 

Mista and Narancia smiled and giggled in the store windows as they watched what happened outside. Giorno wanted to ask what was happening, but when he saw Abbacchio come back and hit the boys upside the head, he knew better than to ask. When the others did move from the window he caught a glimpse of outside and smiled. 

#🍝Olive Garden🍾 #jjba #jjba part 5 #self shipping #s/i x canon #my writing #short dabble #self shipping community #oc x canon

[amerrierworld]

Curtain. (iv)

Carol (2015) fanfiction

Pt: 1 | 2 | 3

Word Count: 1,289

September - just before the first day.

"Yes, yes. I know, Harge. I'm her mother for God's sake, I'm not going to forget anything," Carol grumbled into the phone as she grabbed the last of Rindy's bags from the back of the car.

"Well you better make sure she gets everything she needs, Carol," her ex-husband responded gruffly. "I want her to do well in school."

"Harge, it's first grade. What dire needs would a six-year old have to have? It's not like she's learning calculus."

"Listen, I don't want to have a tantrum-prone child at my house in a month because you decide not to discipline her with the school. They like me over there, you know."

"Yes, you've told me many times, Harge. Just because you have the money to fund that school and make them all lovey-dovey for your spare change does not mean we normal people have money coming out our asses."

"Watch it, Ross. It's still my name in the registration."

Carol pursed her lips, forming a foul expression but deciding not to snap back.

"Anyway, I want her in at least one team. They're very disciplined with their physical education, it'll do Rindy some good."

"What? You can't be serious, Harge. She's too young to be participating with any rigorous sports-"

"And I said she was too young to make her suffer through her parent's divorce, but here we are."

Carol sighed as she closed the car and headed up the steps to the house. "I can't promise anything. When Rindy wants something from that school, she gets it, fine. But if it's not sports, that's just too bad. So don't come blaming me if she wants to play in the band or some crap, okay?"

"Fine."

"I'll bring her over on the last Friday of the month, like we agreed."

"Thank you, Carol." His voice was cold and monotone and Carol summoned all her will power not to throw her phone against the brick wall. She hung up before he could say anything else and pushed through the front door.

"Mommy!" A squeal of delight sounded from the living room as her daughter came bounding towards her. Notorious wine-aunt and babysitter Abigail Gerhard followed closely behind.

"There you are, nitwit. Rindy was beginning to think her mom had been kidnapped."

"Oh nonsense," Carol said, crouching down to pick up her daughter, whose wispy blonde curls were sticking out everywhere. "I've got the last bits of your stuff, sweet pea. Now we can properly arrange your new room."

"Yay!"

"I best get going, Carol. I got you some of those bath salts you really like, I figured you might need some, plus they were on sale, so I had to."

"You're the best, Abby, I can't thank you enough."

Carol gave her best friend a quick peck on the cheek as she passed by her to the front door.

"Good luck with school, kiddo," she ruffled Rindy's hair and gave Carol one last squeeze on her shoulder before exiting the house.

Rindy snuggled in tightly against Carol and her heart felt like it was about to burst. She wrapped her arms tightly around her daughter, kissing the top of her head and letting out a sigh of relief. The bags could wait, she thought.

"It's far too quiet here without Aunt Abby, don't you think? Let's put on some music and I'll make us some dinner."

"Can we listen to Frozen, momma?"

"Of course, sweet pea."

-

After chicken nuggets and a desperate attempt to make Rindy eat some broccoli, her daughter lay tuckered out on Carol's lap, who was watching the news rather than Coco for the fifteenth time. Her legs were stiff but she dared not move from her spot. Rindy had flailed around and danced to endless Disney songs, forcing her mom to dance with her in the kitchen while making dinner.

Now, it was getting late and the way her eyes were straining against the bright TV made Carol realize it was probably time for her to go to bed as well. Eventually she relented and got up, cradling Rindy carefully as to not wake her up before heading to her new bedroom. The bed had been made and Rindy's fairy lights were strung up, but there were still loads of boxes meant to be gone through. The walls were a soft lavender shade with butterfly decorations everywhere; on the walls, lamps, and closet door.

Carol tucked her daughter into bed and wished her a quiet good night before turning the lights out and leaving. She left the door open a crack like she always did and headed to her own bedroom, which seemed much darker and lonelier compared to the toddler's dreamy childhood bedroom.

Carol debated a hot bath to help her relax but decided against it for the sake of sleep. She threw on an old shirt and a pair of boxer briefs to sleep in and crawled to the middle of the large bed, surrounding herself with the thick duvet and ample pillows. The air conditioning made it extra cold in her room and she felt herself trying to get to sleep, but her brain was too preoccupied to let her body shut down.

Carol grabbed her phone, intending to call Abby but remembered that she had a date that evening, which is why she had left so hurriedly. Abby was most definitely already occupied at this time.

Instead, she went to the school's online directory. The title Frankenberg Elementary came up and Carol scrolled through the names of teachers, wanting to remember as many as possible.

Carol and Harge had been huge influences on the school since Rindy started going there. Harge spared no expense in funding many of the school's programs, and consequently gaining immunity for their daughter through power play. Though the thought of it made Carol squirm with guilt, she knew at least now Rindy wouldn't be treated unfairly by the system. Other kids, not so much.

She went straight to the phys-ed tab and up came T. Tucker. Carol sighed, knowing she'd have to face him for another year. Him and Harge had got on swimmingly from the beginning, but Carol had never really enjoyed his company or comments. His female counter part; Mrs. Morgan who taught phys-ed to younger years found him just as insufferable, as she had noted at several PTA meetings.

She went through the regular listings, noting that Robichek was teaching kindergarten again, and thanking heaven that she didn't have to deal with the elderly woman again now that Rindy was out of kindergarten.

A new subheading under Subjects caught Carol's eye; Art. She didn't remember there being a distinct art teacher before; usually it was just doodle or craft assignments assigned by regular teachers.

She clicked.

One name came up.

T. Belivet

Carol blinked at her screen, her eyelids heavy, and frowned. Surely it wasn't the same girl as the shy, petite brunette who had taken photo after photo of Carol which she had pretended not to see? The name seemed too familiar... but what were the chances the girl would be teaching at Rindy's school? Carol scoffed at her own imagined fantasy. It was ridiculous. Abby was right; she ought to get on the dating scene again instead of these desperate fantasies and daydreams.

There was no picture. For all she knew, it could be a relative. If Abby wanted to hire Therese again for the Christmas show, surely she wouldn't have started teaching at a kids' school?

Carol shut off her phone and groaned a little at the ache behind her eyes. It wasn't worth worrying about things that probably meant nothing. She turned over on her side, and curled into a protective ball, determined to get some sleep and give Rindy the best first day.

A/N: My promised Just Pretend pt 2 is coming up after this folks, and then the rest of my queue. I’ve just been on a roll with Carol and Therese that I gotta get some chapters out of my system :3 love you all

#carol #carol aird #carol fanfiction #carol movie #carol x therese #therese belivet #carolxtherese #The Price of Salt #patricia highsmith #carol 2015 #cate blanchett #rooney mara #sarah paulson #wlw #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #fanfiction #merry writes

[northshoretragedyeagle]

Catch-up Meme

Tagged by both @lantur and @broomchickabroom! I was sitting next to C while she wrote hers, so our answers are probably going to be pretty similar for some of them!

three relationships that are on my mind:

Fictional: Work has been crazy lately (I’m implementing a new assay TODAY after an extremely quick 2 week validation and confirmations is still trying to validate another 2 of their assays) so I haven’t really had as much brain space to think about my favorite fictional people! But a few were on my mind recently. 

#1) The A-Team. When I’m feeling down, the 2010 A-Team movie is my comfort film. I know it’s not very good, but I adore Murdock and they flew a tank! I’m a sucker for found family and also heist-style media. I didn’t actually watch this while I was feeling down the other week but did spend some time trawling AO3 for good fic. 

#2) Leverage. I already said, I’m a sucker for found family and heists. I’ve been avoiding the AO3 page since Redemption came out (I haven’t finished it yet!) because I didn’t want to spoil anything. I am STOKED that, after 10 years, Leverage came back. I remember watching the pilot live on TV and then watching it immediately again after.  

#3) Supernatural. I’ve continually had at least 5 Supernatural AO3 tabs up since Nov 5 when I was once again infected with Supernatural brainworms. Big fan of the hurt/comfort opportunities created by the show. I’ve even been rereading some of my favorite authors on FF net that I read back in, like, middle school. 

Real life relationships: 

#1) My brothers! One is chronically ill with ME/CFS (and POTS and all the other fun symptoms that seem to tag along with those illnesses) and lives on the other side of the country with his wife. The other lives in Poland with his girlfriend and we just visited them for the first time! We hadn’t seen him in 2 years (and we still haven’t seen my other brother in 2.5 years, probably going to be at least 3 or 4 until we see him again :( pandemic and chronic illnesses are not a good combination). I need to be better about initiating conversations with them on my own and not just in the family group chat. 

#2) I’ll copy C’s answer and say the roommates! Big shift coming with D moving out and C’s boyfriend moving in. Trying to enjoy and appreciate this last month of all of us together! 

#3) Swordfighting club! We’re finally meeting again (outside) which is great, but I always get a little nervous before practices. I only had 2 months with them before the Pandemic started so I’m still pretty new to swordfighting. Trying to make some actual adult friends outside of our regular circle takes effort!

last song: “On the Nature of Daylight” by Max Richter. It’s very cyclical and blends mournfulness with hope. I don’t actively listen to a lot of music (I listen to whatever C is playing, usually) but this is one that I like to put on while sitting around drinking coffee. 

last movie: Stardust, when my college roommate was visiting last week!

currently watching: I’ve been having the girls watch “Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency”. On my own, I’ve been indulging in “Leverage: Redemption” (I can’t watch it all at once! Then it would be over--I have to savor it!!) and finally finishing up “Farscape”, a sci-fi show from the late ‘90s/early-2000s with amazing puppetry from the Henson company. I’ll include non-TV here too--I’ve been watching a lot of Buzzfeed Unsolved and Puppet History. They’re fairly short and hit the sense of humor that my brother and I share, so we send each other episodes to watch. 

currently reading: I just finished “Her Body and Other Parties” by Carmen Maria Machado and uh...It wasn’t really for me. I think I would have appreciated it more if I was reading it for a class or had some structured discussion about it. I have “Evvie Drake Starts Over” on my list to read; I read a blog post about it a few weeks ago and have been meaning to reserve it at the library. 

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I’ve just started season 7 of Russell Howard’s Good News; that’s how far I got into that show without taking a break. Work has been very slow for the last week, so a few days ago I started Russell Howard’s Good News and just kept fucking watching it until late last night. That might be close to a record for how many episodes of a new show I’ve ever watched in that short a time. I ate meals, I still got in a workout in the basement every day, and I did sleep a bit. Other that that I pretty much just watched this one show.

Anyway, I’ve decided to slow down with that show today and try to do other things. I briefly tried walking outside, but that’s where the COVID is. So I tried watching the next episode of Rhod Gilbert’s Work Experience, a show I’d been greatly enjoying until I put it on hold a few days ago to speedrun Russell Howard’s Good News. The next episode of Rhod Gilbert’s Work Experience was s03e02, where he’s a zookeeper. I have a very severe phobia of snakes, and in my 30.5 years of being alive I’ve gotten quite good at learning how to avoid seeing snakes. If I’m watching a show with a bunch of animals in it, I will be ready to look away at any moment. But I’m usually ready to look away when there’s a clue that a snake is coming. In a show about a zoo, before they show a snake they’ll almost always precede that with a shot of the outside of the reptile section or something like that. Or even some creepy music. Sometimes they’ll show the cage first. I am conditioned so if ever, on TV or in real life, I see any corner of what looks like an aquarium but there’s no water in it (the word is “terrarium”… fuck anything that lives in a terrarium), I immediately look away. Much of the time when this happens real life, someone I’m with tells me it’s just a lizard in there and I can look. But every once in a while I end up being very glad I chose to look away.

Just two days ago, I was watching an episode of Russell Howard’s Good News when his guest mentioned that he worked with snakes. I had the sense to immediately switch to looking at a different tab, while leaving the YouTube audio running. And I was quickly glad that I had done so, because based on the audio, the guy almost immediately started pulling snakes out of the boxes that surrounded him and making Russell touch them. It was quite an upsetting few minutes for me to even just listen to the audio of that, but at the least the guy was kind of enough to warn me so I didn’t have to see the things.

Yeah, Rhod Gilbert’s work experience did not do that. Of course I was aware that a snake would probably show up at some point in the zookeeper episode, and I was completely ready to look away as soon as there was a clue that one was coming. What I was not ready for was for the screen to have a nice leopard on it, and then very suddenly cut to a shot of the head of a snake poking up in a cage. No fucking warning. They showed the image of the snake, and then they started talking about it.

So that was upsetting. Panic attacks ensued. Panic attacks that, frankly, were much too severe to be triggered by a light entertainment program. When I calmed the fuck down, I decided it would be good to do something else with my day. Something where I know what I’m going to get, and I know there’s no risk of snakes suddenly appearing on the screen. And maybe something that will make it less likely for the image of that snake to stay seared in my mind so it plays over and over while I’m trying to sleep.

Anyway, that’s how I ended up spending all afternoon drinking beer and re-watching old Taskmaster episodes. I’m having a good time. Just thought I’d let everyone know. I’ll probably just post whatever occurs to me while I do that.

#tw: alcohol