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katebishopsbow · 1 year

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SOMETHING UNHOLY • NEYMAR JR (part i)

pairing: neymar jr x reader (18+)

summary: while babysitting davi, you went up to neymar’s room to get something for the two of you to play with. it turns out that the room wasn’t empty, and you ended up catching neymar doing something unholy.

tags: explicit sexual content (minors dni), voyeurism, jerking off, choking, praise kink, sir kink, age gap, dirty talking, finger sucking, dom!neymar, babysitter!reader, no mentions of y/n

word count: 2.8k

(gif is not mine)

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An excited squeal was heard before the front door flew open, revealing an ecstatic Davi sprinting toward you to greet you with a crushing hug. “You’re finally here!” he giggled with his face burrowed in your shirt, and you patted the back of his head comfortingly as you told him with a smile, “It’s great to see you too, buddy!”

Upon entering the house, Davi began bombarding you with everything that had happened in his life for the past few weeks, from the science fair he won with his exploding slime experiment, the pretty girl who confessed to him at school, the new video game he received from his mom, to the luxurious fishing trip his dad had taken him over the weekend.

Being the babysitter of Neymar’s kid had its benefits - one of which was the high-paying salary. It paid relatively well compared to the other babysitting jobs you were offered, in fact, it paid so well that this single part-time job was enough to support all your daily expenses and cover part of your tuition fee. And while you initially accepted the job because of the money, you eventually decided to stay because of Davi.

And also because of Neymar - but that’s beside the point.

“Then Dad belly-flopped into the lake! It was awesome!” Davi’s smile is infectious, his genuine excitement about all the little things in life would always fill you with a sense of serene happiness, and sometimes it felt like he was more of a friend than a kid you babysat for. “Well, your dad’s always been awesome,” you chuckled quietly while switching on the TV, surfing through the channels until Davi’s favorite program was on.

Though the boy was quick to interject. “I don’t want to watch TV today… Let's play football together!” he suggested, his voice laced with so much glee and excitement that you didn’t have the heart to say no to him, even though you had absolutely zero agility and were terrible at football. “Alright, I’ll get the football for us…” you pretended to sound unimpressed, but soon broke out into a wide smile when Davi jumped up from his seat with a victorious chant.

“There’s a football in my dad’s bedroom, he said I could play with it if I want.” You contemplated for a while, unsure if it was a good idea to enter Neymar’s bedroom. While he should have been at practice at this hour, meaning that his room was probably empty, the thought of entering his room just seemed like a violation of his privacy.

But before you could ask Davi if he could get the football himself, he had already sprinted off toward the backyard, leaving you all alone in the living room as he yelled out eagerly, “I’ll wait for you outside!” Not wanting to rain on the kid’s parade, you let out a defeated sigh and got up from the couch.

“I’ll just go in and out. I’ll not touch anything or look at anything inside,” you mumbled under your breath as you made your way up the stairs, trying to convince yourself that this was no big deal. You were only going into Neymar’s room to get the football for Davi - a fully justified reason. And just like Steve Harrington once said, “I’m stealthy, like a ninja.” You’ll go inside, grab the football, and leave - nobody would even notice you were there.

It was all going to be fine.

Walking down the hallway until you reached the room at the very end, you twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open.

It was not going to be fine.

Nothing could have prepared you for what you saw in that room. Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach when your eyes landed on Neymar, sitting shirtless on his bed with his trousers unzipped, hands wrapped around his length as he pumped himself at a steady pace. The way his face contorted in pleasure, eyebrows furrowed together like he was nearing his release, and then the next second his eyes flew open and he was looking at you in utter shock.

Everything was happening so fast that your brain literally short-circuited, like your entire body had shut down and rebooted itself. Every muscle within you screamed at you to flee the room, to get the heck out after walking in on such an intimate moment of his - but almost as if your legs had stopped working, you couldn’t bring yourself to move an inch.

All you could do was stare at him, eyes wide and mouth hung open like a deer caught in headlights. Neymar’s hand came to a halt, his facial expression just as dumbstruck as yours, and you had to force yourself not to glance down at the fingers still wrapping around his hardened length.

You blinked once, twice, and finally were able to collect yourself the best that you could manage. “Sir, I’m so sorry for coming inside your room unannounced. I was just here to get something, and I— I didn’t know that you were going to be in here— normally you’d be at practice so…” you began to ramble, strings of words spilling out of your mouth as you frantically tried to apologize.

“I’m just really really sorry, sir,” you apologized one last time, shoulders slumped and head hanging low from the unbelievable amount of embarrassment you were feeling, and also because you wanted to avoid looking at him and his exposed body. Squeezing your eyes shut, you waited for Neymar to say something, anything.

You expected him to scream at you to get out, to lash out at you for entering his room without knocking, to kick you out of the house for violating his privacy like this. But when he stayed silent, not uttering a single word or exploding in anger like you expected him to, confusion began to gnaw at your mind and the silence became unsettling.

Your name suddenly fell from his lips in a hushed whisper, his voice raspy and laced with a strange, unexplainable tone. The call of your name made you glance up, and what was once a look of surprise and puzzlement on his face was now replaced with one of desire - his lips pulled up in a slanted grin, half-lidded eyes gazing into you like he had something sinister in mind, and you could feel your insides stirring when his hands began stroking up and down again.

“Lock the door and come over here,” Neymar whispered in a hushed voice, and while his words were soft and gentle, underneath them all was hiding a sense of authority, so firm and unmoving that you couldn’t help but comply. His piercing gaze never once left you as you turned to shut the door, clicked the lock shut, and slowly walked over to his bed. “Sit.” One word was enough to make you listen, taking a seat on the corner of his bed as if your body was on autopilot.

The rational side of you would’ve made you leave the room ages ago, but somehow you couldn’t bring yourself to leave, not when he’s looking at you with unbridled hunger. All you could do was follow his orders and do exactly what he said, like a girl possessed, hypnotized by all that he had, blinded by the need to find out what would happen if you stayed.

Feeling the tension in the air, you swallowed nervously as you desperately tried to figure out what exactly was happening, eyes flickering between his face and the slow pumping of his hand. “Fuck…” he hissed out through gritted teeth, his piercing green eyes now distant and cloudy with lust. “Now watch.”

Every passing second made it harder for you to breathe, to sit still when Neymar’s pleasuring himself right in front of you, and it was damn near impossible to comprehend the fact that he had asked you to stay and watch. Tightening his fingers around his length, he squeezed his throbbing cock as he thumbed his slit in teasing strokes, gathering the precum that had spilled out.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve thought of bending you over and fucking you inside this house,” he exhaled a shaky breath, smirking at the way your breath hitched as the sinful confession fell from his lips. “I’m a sick piece of shit, right? For thinking of my son’s babysitter this way,” he chuckled, but the way his voice sounded didn’t seem like he was at all guilty.

Words didn’t need to be said for the two of you to know that this was wrong. From the fact that he was jerking off in front of you, the unholy thoughts that he always had whenever you come over, to how you were enjoying all of this no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise.

Neymar was years older than you. He was in his thirties and you were still in college. He was a world-class football player and you were an ordinary college student still trying to navigate life. Most importantly, he was a father, and you were his son’s babysitter. Your relationship never should have exceeded that, but it did, with him splayed out in his bed, admitting all the filthy thoughts he had of you while you watched him.

This was wrong - all of this - but neither of you wanted this to stop.

“But you like this shit, don’t you?” he asked you with a knowing glint in his eyes, and the smirk on his lips only seemed to grow wider. You couldn’t find the words to answer him, any sort of coherent thoughts had longed become muddled up inside your head. Though you didn’t have to, because he already knew your answer from the way your breathing picked up and your thighs clenched together.

“I bet…” he choked out as his head tipped backward, letting out a deep groan while speeding up his hand. “I bet you’d let me fuck you if I asked.” A little gasp escaped your lips, bright eyes flickering with a lustful gleam he had only imagined in the darkest hours of the night. You stayed quiet, nibbling on your lips to prevent the whine lodged in your throat from coming, and that’s all it took for Neymar to know that your answer was a definite yes.

“You’ll let me come inside like a good fucking girl too, won’t you?” The thought alone was enough to make you whimper, clenching your thighs together needily as arousal pooled at the pit of your stomach. Your eyes fluttered closed, allowing the sinful images to plague your mind - god, how you wished those thoughts were reality instead.

You wondered how his lips would taste like, what his reaction would be if he could feel how soaked you were right now, if he would feel as good as you imagined it to be when he finally slid himself inside you, and how he would look when he finally reached his release, emptying himself deep inside you until you milked him of his very last drop. There was nothing you wouldn’t give for all of this to come true, for him to just touch you where you needed.

Fingers suddenly clasped around your throat, pulling you out of your erotic trance and dragging you back to reality - even though the reality you were in seemed more like a fever dream. “Use your words. Yes or no?” he demanded, and he couldn’t help but admire how good you looked with his hands around you - so good for him, so sweet and breedable.

“Yes, sir,” you answer with a soft whimper, head nodding urgently at his previous question while you relish the firm grip on your neck. “Good girl,” he praised you with a smile before releasing his hold on you. There was a warmth that lingered on your skin even after he had let go, and a part of you wished he had kept his hands there longer, that he had squeezed tighter.

“I bet you’d feel so good wrapped around me… and you’ll let me do whatever I want to you…” He continued to pump himself, cock twitching at the sight of you before him - rosy cheeks and glassy eyes, so worked up and so desperate for him to just touch you. “Please…” you huffed out a pathetic plea, hands gripping tightly on the sheets below you, praying that he would do something to ease the aching need between your thighs.

He smiled - not a friendly one, but the same damned teasing grin he always had on - and had the audacity to coo at you as if he thought you were the cutest thing on earth. “Be patient, baby…” You tried to be patient, you really did, but your patience was running low and you were genuinely going to cry if he didn’t touch you soon.

A few more rough tugs on his cock and he knew he was nearing his orgasm. “Fuck… gonna come…” he grunted out, rocking his hips up unrhythmically to meet his fist as the bed started to shake. All that could be heard inside his bedroom was the wet squelching of him jerking his cock, the quick and shallow breaths of you both, and the broken moans that rumbled in his throat with each frenzied stroke.

“Sir, please.” That simple sentence was enough to shatter him into a million pieces. A pleasured groan pushed past his teeth as his hips thrust up one last time, body seizing up as jolts of electricity coursed through him in waves of pure ecstasy. You weren’t even touching him, but all he could feel was you - everything else faded into darkness.

White ropes of come spilled from his cock, getting all over his skin and dirtying the white sheets below him. His mouth fell agape, throwing his head back as your name fell from his lips like a mantra, calling you again and again until he completely emptied himself into his fist.

You watched as he fell apart in front of you, refusing to take your eyes off him even for just a second while he drowned in the endless sea of pleasure. “Fuck… that felt so good,” he spoke in a soft murmur, stroking his cock lazily as he collected some of the come splattered on him with his fingers.

Leaning closer to you, he lifted his hand to your lips and pushed his fingers inside your mouth, groaning with satisfaction at the sinful sight - your lips wrapped around him, so good for him, so eager to please. “There you go, my good little girl…” You moaned at the praising nickname he had for you, twirling your tongue around him and enjoying the taste of him.

A strange silence fell upon both of you after he pulled out his fingers, neither of you was saying anything and all you could hear was your own heartbeat drumming in your ears and the ragged breath of Neymar. You could feel his stare on you, dragging his gaze down to your lips, and you wondered if he was going to kiss you.

He leaned in, so close to you that you could almost feel his hot breath fanning against your lips. You squeezed your eyes shut instinctively, but instead, he tilted his head and placed a chaste kiss on your left cheek.

“I’m off to practice now,” he whispered into your ear, voice low and raspy, and proceeded to get up from his bed. You looked at him with utter confusion, the gears in your head still turning as you struggled to process what exactly had just happened. Was he seriously going to leave? Right now? What about you?

The ache between your legs only seemed to grow, and the frustration building in your chest was beginning to grow as well, really quickly. “But… Sir…” you tried to think of something, but had no idea what you were even supposed to say in a situation like this.

The smirk evident on his face meant that he knew exactly what he was doing, and was well aware of how mean he was being to you, but he was doing it nonetheless. “Keep being a good girl for me, and maybe next time I’ll give you a little reward.” Sending you a wink, he pulled on his jersey and exited the room.

This motherfucker.

#neymar #neymar x reader #neymar smut #neymar jr #neymar jr x reader #neymar imagines #neymar fics #football players #fanfiction

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delfiore · 7 months

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—MY DEAREST FRIEND AND ENEMY (5/5)

pairing: ona batlle x fem!reader

synopsis: barcelona sets its sights on the champions league; things between you and ona unfold in the way they were always going to.

word count: 5.9k

a/n: LAST PART LAST PART WOOOO ALSO THIS GIF IS KILLING ME

PART I, PART II, PART III, PART IV

Barcelona won its first game back from winter break. It wasn’t the first one this season, but everyone was glad the team managed to hold onto the momentum over break. Though you didn’t score, you felt like you started to understand how to pass, how to move, how to bring the ball forward effectively the Barça way.

Things were finally starting to look up for you at your new club.

In training one day, you were paired up with Aitana for a short passing drill, and she quickly took the opportunity to inquire about you and Ona.

“No.”

“What?”

“I’m not telling you!”

“¿¡Por qué no?!” Aitana exclaimed, earning a few turns of heads from several teammates around. “I was the one to tell you to say something, no?”

You blew raspberry and looked down at the ball rolling between your feet. In truth, you haven’t talked to Ona about that night. Unlike the last time, though, there wasn’t an air of animosity around it. You wanted to kiss her really badly, but you also knew starting something then wasn’t the best idea. You and her both needed to concentrate on getting the team through this slump, and it was more crucial than ever that you did.

“You make it really hard for me, you know that?” You had told her, a quiet confession.

You remembered her smiling. “You don’t make it easy for me either. Every time I see you, I try so hard not to pull you to me and kiss you.”

You chuckled and dropped your head, hiding the warmth creeping up your neck. “Well, try harder.” You brushed her nose with the tip of your finger and stood up. “Our team needs us. We can’t . . . be distracted.”

“Can’t we be selfish just once?” Her tone was light and teasing, but when she leaned back against the bed, there was a darker sincerity in her eyes. Her elbows supported her weight, as her toned legs dangled off the bed. You had almost scoffed at how good she looked, and how much you wanted to pounce on her.

Swiftly, you snatched a pillow and threw it at her, earning an offended gasp from the girl. You watched her face shift, then, when you leaned down and kissed her cheek. Pulling back, you smirked. “Happy?”

Grabbing your pajamas which were draped over a chair, you quickly got out of the room and headed to the shower where, under the running water, you repeatedly told yourself to snap out of it. That night, you still fell asleep in the same bed as her. In the morning, your head was nuzzled in her neck, and your arm wrapped firmly around her waist.

You asked how long she had been staring at you, watching you sleep. Ona couldn’t resist a smirk, telling you she didn’t want to wake you up.

You had hoped she couldn’t feel how fast your heart was beating, but then again your chest was pressed into her side. You felt the overwhelming urge to pull away, alarm bells ringing in your head to sober up from your slumber and pull away. You were controlled by an invisible fear. In all of your nightly interactions with the many people that have warmed your bed, you had never felt so vulnerable than in that moment before, or since.

You could see her freckles so clearly from here. There were plenty, like a constellation of stars, but the only difference was you would lay there and count each and every one of them. Slowly, you brushed the pad of your thumb over them, and she let you, closing her eyes.

“Stardust,” you whispered quietly, feeling her skin under your finger.

Ona’s heart burned like a thousand fires watching you as you admired her, three heavy words weighing down on the tip of her tongue.

They went unsaid when you got up to go brush your teeth, over the table at breakfast, when her mom hugged you both goodbye and even when she dropped you off at your place a few hours later.

The team was playing away in Valencia on Saturday night. Right after that, on Wednesday, you would be playing the second Champions League quarterfinal leg in London. It was going to be a stressful week, but you needed to get your head in it because this week would determine the rest of the season in the league and in the prestigious European competition.

When Valencia led 1-0 at halftime, the more the clock ran out the more the team was desperate to win, or at least get a point back.

Alexia was holding the ball, as everyone moved over to Valencia’s side of the pitch; the latter was now only concerned with defending their three points. You waited for the defenders around to get distracted and made a run for it. Fridolina received the ball and fed it to you, but the angle was too narrow and the ball bounced off the net.

Chances were coming, and you were getting much closer to an equalizer.

A corner ensued, and you were at the near-post. The ball was sent in straight towards the goalkeeper, but you thought you could manage it. The goalkeeper was beelining for the ball and headed straight towards you with her fists out ready to punch the ball away, but you were faster. 1-1.

The adrenaline rushed to your head as you ran to celebrate with your teammates.

Only when the ball was rolling again did you feel lightheaded, and were on the ground before you knew it. The referee’s whistle rang out, and several of her teammates rushed over to you, as did Ona.

She saw the way your steps slowed as you were walking back to the middle, your head hung low. The way you fell to the ground, Ona could only compare it to a jet running out of fuel and free-falling. It was as if your legs gave out under you.

“Y/N? Joder, Y/N. Fisio!” She knelt beside you, yelling to the sidelines.

Thankfully, you were able to move, turning to your side, and hiding your face in the grass.

“It’s okay, Y/N. They’re coming,” Ona breathed heavily and squeezed your shoulder.

You have had collisions that knocked the air out of you before, but this time you knew it was much more severe than that. You suddenly didn’t quite know where you were, or why all these people were gathering around and peering down at you. All you knew was there was one face that made it all okay, one that you reached for and never wanted to let go.

There were physios coming to check the reflexes in your eyes; you were fine, it was just really, really bright. You were helped to sit up, seeing stars as you did, like cartoon characters when they suffer concussions. You looked over to that beautiful face, the one that appeared in your dreams like a plague, and you were okay. Though you didn’t know what was happening, Ona made you feel brave.

You regained clearheadedness after a few minutes, the symptoms had seemingly subsided. You signaled that you could continue (you really thought you could) but Esmee was already getting ready on the sideline to come in for you.

“Y/N, you did well today,” Ona approached you and wrapped her arm around your shoulder. “You were brilliant. We’ll take care of this.”

She said and gave you a kiss on the side of your head before sending you off with a pat on your back. You smiled gracefully at her and walked towards the bench. The unheard of happened then, as you made out applause ringing out from the Barcelona section of the stands, as people stood out and whistled for you.

You spent the rest of the game in the dressing room, watching the game from a TV. The lights had been dimmed for you to lessen the side effects of the concussion. When the rest of the team returned victorious, you cracked a smile. Your teammates surrounded you to check on your well-being, one in particular was the quickest to sit next to you.

“They clapped for me when I came off,” you said with a smile. “The fans.”

“Yes, they did,” Ona grasped your hand. “Because you deserved it.”

Barcelona came back from a deficit to win 3-2, earning a crucial three points in the title race.

“Arsenal is a very different team now than when we met them last, girls,” Jonatan stood at the front of the conference room. He played the next clip. “The one thing we’ll have to keep in mind is that they prefer passing and progressive carrying. They’ll have holding midfielders that will transition the formation from defending to attacking, so Williamson, Little, Wälti. Whoever that pivot player ends up being, if we cut her off on the high press, we cut off the supply going forward.”

As Coach was explaining tactics, you quietly turned around toward where Ona was sitting. The moment her gaze landed on you, the corner of her lips lifted. You mirrored her smile, and looked back at the projector, pulling your hoodie up past your lips to hide your cheeks heating up.

After the briefing, you walked towards the dining room to have lunch when your phone buzzed with a notification. You had just received an Instagram DM from an account that you hadn’t looked at in a long time, mainly because there would be nothing to see, as you were blocked.

Hi! I heard you’ll be in town this week for a game. Any chance we could go grab a coffee and chat? Sent 11:04am

“Hey, you coming to lunch?” Ona asked.

“Oh, yeah. I’ll be there in a second,” you said quickly and typed a reply.

On Tuesday, a couple of hours after you landed in London, you made your way towards the little café the address of which you had been sent. Just before entering the coffee shop, you exhaled sharply and wiped your palms on your pants before pulling the door open. Leena was already seated at a table, a cup in front of her.

“Hey,” you hugged her. “It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too, Y/N,” she wrapped her arms around you and squeezed you tightly. “You look good.”

You let out a snort. “Yeah, Barcelona tends to do that to ya.”

You sat on the opposite side of the table, after going to order a small coffee.

“I heard you got a concussion last game,” Leena asked, concerned.

“Oh, that.” You waved it off. “I’m fine. I’ve seen better days, but it’s all a part of it. How are you doing?”

“I’m doing good,” Leena smiled. “I . . . I had to step away to . . . put things into perspective.”

You nodded slowly and sighed. “Leena, the way I handled things, I’m just so deeply ashamed of it. I’m really sorry and I hope you can forgive me.”

“It’s okay, Y/N. I should have known better than to pursue someone who isn’t ready yet. I tend to do that.”

“Still, I mean . . . That’s not who I am, and I never meant to hurt you or lead you on like that.”

Quickly leaning forward to grasp your hand, she whispered, “It’s okay”. You nodded and smiled gratefully. Leena never made you feel less than whenever you bore your emotions to her, and it was no exception this time.

You started chatting about work, learning that Leena wanted to go back to school for a master’s in cinematography. You told her about your new club, and how much harder it was to live up to expectations than you thought. By the end of your little meeting, you had told her pretty much everything that was going on within the past year.

You said goodbye about an hour later, but not before asking if she wanted to come to the game the following night. “Sure,” she said. “Should be fun.”

Leaving the café with a smile, you called an Uber back to your hotel just in time for dinner with the team, where Ona was already waiting for you in the lobby.

“Hey,” you said, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“I was waiting for you.” The girl quickly ascended from her seat on the couch. “I texted but you didn’t answer, so I got worried.”

“Oh,” you pulled out your phone to see said unread messages from Ona. “I’m sorry. I was meeting up with a friend, and I usually put my phone on silent for stuff like that.”

“I see,” Ona chewed on her lower lip. “Well, it’s dinner time. Come.”

As you walked, you looked down at your joined hands that she nonchalantly initiated, and blushed. You ignored the knowing look a couple of your teammates sent your way when you walked into the hotel dining room.

“Hey, good luck out there today,” you found Ona in the dressing room before the game, and decided to offer your support.

“Thanks. Are you cleared to play today?”

“Yeah, later though. Just to be sure,” you explained.

Though you were cleared by the physios to travel to London with the team, Jonatan wanted to be sure that you weren’t overexerting yourself by playing the 90 minutes, but you were assured that you would be subbed on in the second half.

Ona nodded tentatively. “Hey, Y/N. I just wanted to say—“

“Y/N!”

The voice outside the dressing room made you turn around.

“Leena, hi! You made it!”

Then you were gone, walking out and greeting the woman she saw with you in Ibiza. Ona clenched her jaw, listening to your animated conversation in the hallway, not she had no right to infringe upon your other relationships. But she didn’t know where you stood with Leena, nor where she stood with you, and it made her nervous.

She had spent the last few months trying to make you feel her love, hoping that you would answer her and give her your heart.

You were you, though, and maybe she would never be enough to make you commit. She had messed it up before, and while you had forgiven her, you had made no effort to progress past a friendship.

She had been ready to take on Arsenal mere minutes before, now she felt dejected and beyond embarrassed.

It was an easy win for Barcelona. You managed to score again, a screamer from outside the box, and the fans went wild for your seemingly return to form.

After the game walked towards where Ona was near the stands, greeting fans, and tapped her on the shoulder.

“Nice work today,” you said.

Ona only glanced at you shortly with a small smile before turning back to the fans to sign their shirts.

Your smile faded for a split second, but it returned when Leena approached you. You didn’t realize Ona was sneaking glares at the back of your head, wishing you would just notice how desperate she was to get you alone.

That night, you were back in the hotel room you shared with Patri when you heard a knock at the door.

“Hi,” you couldn’t hide the slight inflection in your voice when you discovered that the person on the other side of the door wasn’t Patri coming back from Claudia’s room where she said she would be, but Ona.

“Hi,” she mumbled, her hands hidden in the pockets of her hoodie. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” you said, stepping aside to let her in. You caught a whiff of her shampoo as she walked past you, and the comfortable way in which she dressed suddenly made your heart beat wildly.

“Are you feeling well?” You rubbed your hands together nervously, an impending question already burned into the back of your mind. “You were just quiet after the game, and I wasn’t sure whether you’d hurt yourself.”

Ona pulled on her sleeves, and timidly sat at the edge of your bed, swinging her legs back and forth. “Just wanted to come see you,” she shrugged.

You hated not being able to read her, not knowing what she was thinking. You guessed your relationship has always been like that, hiding how you really felt and continuing this façade you both had decided was the only thing that could work.

You didn’t know, but what you knew was you were tired of pretending.

“What are we to each other?” Her question tore you from your thoughts.

Well, that was certainly one way to do it. You were still standing in the middle of the room, unsure of where to go or sit.

“We’re friends, aren’t we?” You answered. “We support each other, we have each other’s backs.”

“That girl you were with, are you seeing her?” Her quiet voice, in addition to the slight frown she sported made her so endearing. You hadn’t seen her so open, so vulnerable ever since the night you spent with her after Spain lost out on the Euros. But maybe then you might have missed all the signs.

“No,” you shook your head. “We’re friends. She helped me a lot after everything went down between us.”

She nodded, looking away. You still didn’t know what she was thinking, and it was driving you crazy.

“Why? Are you jealous?” You smirked, wanting to lighten the mood, but the despairing look on her face remained.

Feeling bold, you took a seat next to her on the bed. “What is it, Ona?”

She drew a breath, still refusing to look at you and opting to look at your hands instead. “I don’t want to be just friends.”

You let the silence hang because you weren’t sure if those words actually just left her mouth.

They did, because she followed up, “I want to have you to myself. I want you all the time. Every time I see you, it’s like I can’t function until you talk to me. I don’t know where we stand and it’s honestly tearing me apart. I know I sound clingy and pathetic, but I think I’m in love with you.”

You heard her repeat the last part under her breath, as if affirming to herself, as if finally saying it out loud was the hardest thing to do.

Your heart was hammering in its cage. You held her gaze when she looked up, her eyes were dull and sad and lost, despite having just won a Champions League match.

“Do you know how long I’ve waited to hear you say those words?” You cracked a tiny smile. “Almost five years. That day when we played against each other for the first time in Manchester. I singled you out, I pushed your buttons because I wanted to get your attention from the moment we met. I wanted you to notice me because I liked you.”

You knew it was a selfish thing to do, but it was the only way you knew for sure that her eyes were on you. And on you they were.

Ona perked up, grinning softly. “Really?”

“Really.”

Her pinkie was hooked with yours at your side. “I want to try us. I promise I won’t let you down this time,” she said quietly, and instead of looking away, she held your gaze firmly.

“Okay.” There was nothing else.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nodded and brought your hand up to glide over her cheek lightly.

Her lips parted slightly. You could see the way her chest rose and fell before she lunged at you, cupping your jaw and pressing her lips against yours.

You let out a quiet groan at the sensation of her bruising kiss. You let her do whatever she wanted, even when she shoved you down on the bed and got on top of you, kissing, touching, and feeling everywhere, you let her, because it had been too long.

At some point, you had managed to flip her over, keeping eye contact as you kissed down along her body. She always liked it when you took your time worshipping her as you did now, holding your gaze and encouraging you to keep going. Once in a while, she would throw her head back and mumble breathless profanities in her native tongue, giving you a good look at her defined jawline.

You might have known her body inside and out from the time you spent with her, but this time it felt different. There was love in every tug, every kiss, every look she gave you. You found yourself in a trance and let your body tangle with hers in ways you were too afraid to have done before; afraid it was too affectionate, too intimate, too personal.

By the time you were done, she was whimpering, her eyes closed shut, and her skin was damp and hot to the touch.

Resting your chin on her stomach, you watched her come down. When she finally opened her eyes, it took one look for the both of you to burst out into laughter.

Your laughs died down, and suddenly you felt shy again. As if having read your mind, Ona pulled you closer and pressed a kiss to your lips.

“When we’re back in Barcelona, I’m taking you out on a date,” she whispered.

A couple of hours later, Patri, upon entering the room, decided to grab her charger and return to Claudia and Ona’s room. She found the both of you sound asleep, tangled up in bed together, and decided to leave you be.

“But why do I have to do the press conference? Why can’t Caro or Alexia do it?” You groaned. “No one cares what I have to say.”

“Of course they do,” Toni responded. “Y/N, I might be biased, but you are one of the best players of this half of the season in the team, if not the league. You’re Barcelona’s new gem.”

“Well, you’re not wrong,” you muttered.

“People will want to hear from you. Plus, it’s good—“

“—publicity, yeah, I know.” You hunched over and adjusted your position on the couch. “Ughhh . . .” You groaned loudly and dragged your hands down your face. “Fine.”

Toni proceeded to run you over things you should say, things you shouldn’t say, things you should absolutely avoid at all costs. You half-listened to the rest of it because you felt the couch dip beside you, and a sneaky hand creeping up and down your back.

You ended the phone call with another sigh. The hand that calmed you proceeded to inch towards your nape, caressing the skin there.

“I thought you liked doing press.”

“No one likes doing press,” you grumbled.

You looked up from your moping and over your shoulder, and the sight of Ona made you smile. She always managed to make you forget about everything wrong in the world, and crave the warmth of her touch. When she wore one of her snuggly hoodies as she did now, the heat under the fabric made her chest and embrace extra warm.

“You’ll do great, hermosa,” she held you close to her, giggling at the feeling of your face buried deep in her neck. “Besides, what is it you always say? ‘All in a day’s work’?”

You grinned and kissed her cheek. “I hate it when you use my shtick against me.”

“No, you love it,” Ona kissed you quickly, but you held her by the collar of her sweatshirt and savored her lips a little longer.

“I was thinking,” you said slowly. “Since you already know the code for the front door, and you’re always here anyway, why don’t you move in?”

Her eyebrows raised in surprise. For a split second, the silence caused a familiar pang in your heart from all the times she had turned you down. There was a moment when you imagined the worst to happen, that she would run for the hills again and leave you to pick up the pieces by yourself. But it was different this time; the circumstances were different, you both were different.

“No pressure at all. I just—It was just a suggestion—“

“Okay,” she breathed quietly. “But after the season is over.”

You let a wide grin spread across your face. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Ona smiled and tapped your nose lovingly. “Now, come on. I’ll help you practice for your big press conference.”

You groaned and sunk back into the couch, but you knew you would be able to distract her from putting you through this torture if you picked your moments right. There were no more barriers between the two of you, and kisses were expendable.

“Hello, Y/N. My question to you is, ‘How do you judge your opponent coming into this match, and are you confident that you’ll be walking home with your first Champions League after tomorrow?’” “I think that Chelsea is a formidable team, there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind about that. As for if I think we can win; yes, I think so. I’m confident in my teammates’ abilities, and I know that I’ll be giving 110% into tomorrow’s match. So, yes, we are going into this match to win.” “Obviously, you’re surrounded by World Cup finalists at Barça. What is it like playing with some of the more experienced and decorated players on this team in particular?” “It’s a wonderful environment for me as a young professional in this sport, to have that support system in my own club. I enjoy every second that I get to play alongside and learn from my teammates. No matter who it is, finalist or not, I’ve been able to learn from everyone I play with.” “You’ve had an admittedly rocky start to your spell at Barcelona, but have since improved a lot from what we’ve seen in the return leg of the season. Do you think you have fully integrated yourself into the Barça system?” “As a player, I’m very fortunate to have had the club’s, the coach’s, and my teammates’ trust as I familiarized myself with the system. I will say, I’m much more confident in my role at the club now than I was at the start of the season, and I just hope to continue to do well with the team, and we’ll see how it goes.”

All 50,000 spectators of the Estadio José Alvade roused into cheers as the whistle blew. Chelsea got the ball rolling in motion, and, already, some of its finest attackers planted themselves deep into Barcelona’s defense, waiting for their moment to reap their rewards.

It was a long back-and-forth for the next 20 minutes, and both teams were not willing to risk it in the opening minutes of the game. But then a wild attempt by Lauren James from outside the box left the ball unattended after Sandra pushed it out. Sam Kerr did what she always did best, and tapped it in. 0-1.

“Shit,” you muttered, seeing Jonatan shouting to Aitana and Patri to change tactics.

You hoped Chelsea couldn’t pick up on the franticness at which Barcelona picked up the ball again. All four players of the backline were on Chelsea’s side of the pitch, Irene, being the deepest, also just barely skirting above the halfway line.

The possession paid off though, as after a long period of tiki-taka, you found an opening for Mariona, who took the shot and sent it past Zećira Mušović into the net. 1-1.

If you could choose, you would always prefer counterattacks over possession plays, in which you could use your speed and dribble to explode; your opponents always feared it when you did. But possession was how Jonatan wanted the team to play then, and Chelsea must have anticipated that. Ève Périsset won the ball back inside the box and lobbed it across the pitch to Guro Reiten, who made the run far before anyone could catch up to her. Mapi was fast, but at her fastest she was still trailing behind her, watching powerlessly as Guro glided past Sandra coming out and passed the ball into an empty net. 1-2.

You could see some of your teammates’ spirits crumbling. Mapi was cursing under her breath as she hid her face under her shirt.

Your eyes landed on Ona walking back to the halfway line, hyping your teammates up. There was a time when she would be doing to her own teammates after you scored against her. You thought it was selfish of you to feel glad that she was doing it for you now.

“Come on, Y/N,” she clapped her hands a few times. “We got this. We’re almost there.”

She was right, you’ve suffered worse deficits, and you wouldn’t be where you were if you didn’t help your team emerge victorious from them.

The dressing room was still as the night at halftime, only the sound of cleats shuffling and the occasional water bottle caps closing were heard.

You sat in your designated spot, taking deep inhales to catch your breath, slapping your teammates’ hands as they walked in. You low-fived Ingrid before she made her way over to where Mapi sat, her head hanging low in her hand.

The team hadn’t been playing well since the beginning of the match. Maybe it was the underestimation of Chelsea’s abilities or their opening goal that caught everyone off-guard. Whatever it was, the team hasn’t recovered.

“Come on, girls,” Jonatan said in the dressing room. “We’re down by one. One. We’ve come back from worse.”

He proceeded to go over tactics again, this time using the wingers as the main force of attack. Since Chelsea would most likely park the bus now that they were in the lead, he wanted to take initiative and penetrate the defense, only the one thing you were very good at.

Ona sat down next to you, huffing a breath and leaning back against the wall. Her eyes fluttered close, and her cheeks were flushed. You thought about running your hand along her face down her neck were you in private, instead, you squeezed her knees and offered her a smile when she opened her eyes again.

“You okay?” How selfish of her to ask if you were okay when if anything, she was the only person holding this team together at this point. Out of everyone during the first 45 minutes, Ona had done her job to the very best of her abilities, and it was a lifeline to the team.

When it was time to return to the pitch, you walked to her with your heart in your hands. “Ona,” you touched her arm, “I love you.”

Your heart hammered as the corner of her lips pulled up, her brows twitching with a sympathetic look. “I love you too,” she leaned into you, “very much.”

You hoped no one noticed how wide you were smiling too, but you also hoped they did. You wanted to shout it out loud for all 50,000 people in the stadium to hear how much love you had for Ona.

“I wish you had told me that earlier, so I can kiss you,” she said.

“Later,” you grinned. “You can kiss me as much as you want.”

Summer never lasted as long as you wanted it to. Gone were the days of sunny beachside margaritas, and bonfire nights at local bars. Ona had taken you to a secluded spot off the coast of Morocco, and for two weeks straight, it was beach, drinking, the occasional sightseeing, and lots of sex. It was the first time the two of you were able to truly be alone without any distractions after you started seeing each other officially, and you couldn’t be happier that it happened the way it did.

You had been back with the team for a couple of weeks, and as much as you missed your much-needed summer vacation, you missed playing more.

“Behind you! Here, here!”

“Body language, girls! Let’s go!”

You sat on the grass, catching your breath after your first successful practice of the season.

“Getting up any time soon, partner?” You heard Ona call next to you before a water bottle was tossed onto your legs.

You grabbed the bottle and squirted some water onto her legs, but she remained unfazed with that stupid smirk on her face. “Ooh, recreating last night’s activities now, aren’t we? You know it should be more than that.”

You let out a laugh and pulled her down next to you. “Since when do you make the dirty jokes?”

“Since I started spending way too much time with you, apparently.”

“Are you complaining?”

“No,” Ona’s voice lowered as she leaned in, “not in the slightest.”

“Ey, tórtolitos (lovebirds)!” Aitana’s voice rang out. “Coach has an announcement to make. Vamos!”

You sighed. “Remind me why telling the team that we’re dating was a good idea again?”

“For one, it would stop all the pestering,” Ona pecked your lips and stood up before offering a hand. “Come on, tórtola. Time waits for no one, not even for new Champions League winners.”

You didn’t expect things to turn out the way they did when you first saw her across the pitch years ago, but you were glad that they did, and better than you could have ever hoped.

You took Ona’s hand gingerly, swinging it back and forth, getting used to the feeling, because you intended on having it with you forever. If Ona came with it too, that's fine by you, you supposed.

The Athletic: A Star Is Born — Y/N Y/L/N’s Barcelona Start and Road to First Champions League “Y/N Y/L/N is the kind of player every club would benefit from having,” said former Manchester City captain Vincent Kompany in the summer of 2020, days before news of Y/L/N’s signing was announced. “She is a star in the making.” Y/L/N came up within the ranks of Portland Thorns before getting picked up at Man City, helping the club to its first-ever WUCL participation. But it was at Barcelona that she was able to realize her potential. And then, in the 94th of the Champions League final, she scored and sealed a third European championship for Barcelona. After a tumultuous season which sees Barcelona barely clinch the league title for the sixth year in a row, Y/N Y/L/N emerged a key player at La Blaugrana, a sure-fire Ballon d’Or contender in October, and one of the most prolific forwards within the game—and she’s only 23. […]”

a/n: WOOP WOOP!! we made it guys, we've reached the end. if you've read everything up until now, i sincerely thank you for coming along on this journey of self-indulgence lol. we'll say goodbye to y/n and ona and let them ride off into the sunset and continue to slay at barcelona. once again, thank you for reading, more woso fics coming soon! for now, delfiore over and out 🫡

#ona batlle x reader #ona batlle imagines #ona batlle imagine #woso x reader #woso imagines #woso fanfics #ona batlle #ona batlle angst

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absolutelyhugh3s · 8 months

Text

michigan maize | ee73

ethan edwards x reader!

more loosely based song fics!! this one is tennessee orange by megan moroney

thank you guys so so much for all the love and support on forever and ever!!! y’all seriously don’t understand how much it means to me!! i love every single one of you <33

word count: 1.13k (not my gif!)

“hi munchkin! how are you doing?” my mothers honey-like voice filled my ears as she answered my call.

oh god, i'm really doing this.

“hi mama” i smiled even though she couldn’t see me “im good”

“i've got some news” i said nervously, clenching the comforter of my bed in my fist.

“oh honey is everything alright?” her slight chicago accent peaking through.

“dont worry im doing okay, just please dont tell dad?” i pleaded with my mother.

“y/n did something happen?” she asked worriedly.

“yes mama. he’ll blow a fuse if he found out” my father wasn’t big on me going to the umich. being the coach of msu hockey, he wanted me to go there.

but when i received an amazing scholarship to play lacrosse, i had to take it.

the first thing he told me when i left for school was “don't run off with any of those hockey boys y/n, they are very bad news.”

well, he’s clearly never met ethan.

“i know you raised me to know right from wrong, but god he makes it so hard” i chuckle “he?” my mother questions.

“i met somebody mama, hes brunette, and he's got these big brown eyes, and he opens the door for me everywhere i go!”

ethan and y/n go on small date’s every wednesday night. its an awkward time for some, but for them, its the only time in their busy schedules that they can be together.

today, their date night was dressing up super fancy (as barbie and ken of course) seeing the barbie movie, and eating at a small diner a few blocks from the movie theater.

ethan had planned out the entire thing and the couple had a blast. once ethan had driven her back to her on campus apartment, she thanked the older boy, kissed him goodbye and began to exit the car.

“WAIT” ethan yelled. he jumped up out of the drivers seat, exiting the car and running around to open his girlfriend’s car door. “ok now you can go” he smiled

the small action made the girl melt like a snowman in summer. the defenseman than sprinted to the main door of her apartment complex, opening that for her as well.

“m’lady” he held out a hand as y/n walked through the door a blushing mess. he than took her hand in his, interlocking their fingers, leading her up to her apartment.

though the action was so little, it made her fall in love with him more and more every day.

“he just makes me so happy! hes like perfectly perfect! god! i've never felt this way mama!” i ramble.

“hun” my mother chuckles. “whats his name?” i then realize i left out the most important part “ethan! ethan edwards! mama you would love him” i smiled.

“but back home id be sinning” the smile fades slightly from my face. “why is that dear?” it seems as though she could hear what was going though my mind.

“mama, hes got me wearing maize and blue for him” i sarcastically laughed.

“you should come to my game tomorrow” ethan said, running his hands through the ends of the y/h/c girls hair.

“the boys would love to see you, plus i get to have my own little good luck charm in the stands” the boy smiled like a small child at the girl laying on his chest.

“really?” she looked up at the brown haired boy with big doe eyes. “yes really” he grinned.

“here” he moved the smaller girl off of his chest to stand up from his bed.

he rummages through his closet, looking for a specific item of clothing.

suddenly a large yellow piece of fabric is thrown at her “you can even wear my jersey” he smiles.

the girl holds it up a large ‘edwards 73’ stares at her. “you know what e? i think i will”

“oh hes an athlete?” my mom says, surprised.

“yeah hekindasortamaybeplayshockey” i rush out, nervous of what my mother would say.

“im gonna need you to slow down y/n/n” she chuckles

“he plays hockey mama. he had me wearing his jersey at a msu game! of course i want the spartans to win but still! his smile! oh his smile! it makes me forget i look better in green!” i gush about my boyfriend.

“so thats why you didnt want your father to know” my mom teases, clearly finding enjoyment in this entire situation.

“oh please forgive me mama, i like him a lot” i beg “oh i think its a lot more than like sweetheart” my mom says. “what?”

“oh honey you are head over heels for ethan” she laughs “i've known for ten minutes and i can tell”

“oh god im in love with a wolverine!” i exclaim.

“babygirl its ok! the worlds not gonna end! growing up in chicago i said i would never date a red wings fan, guess what? i married one!” she laughs.

“so you’re not mad?” i asked hesitantly.

“of course not y/n! its my job as your mother to always be supportive of you” i could tell she was smiling though the phone.

i talked with my mother for a while longer about random stuff for about another half hour. “mama i have to go, ethan should be here in a few minutes” i say.

“alright sweetie, invite him home would ya?” my mother asks. “of course mama, i love you” “i love you too sweet girl, bye bye”

i clean things up for about ten minutes when i hear a knock at my apartment door.

“you can come in e!” i shout. “ok!” he shouts back before walking in.

i put the last few dishes in the cabinet when i feel two muscular arms snake around my waist and a face bury into the crook of my neck.

“hi baby” he mumbles, tightening his hold on my waist.

“hi e” i giggled. “guess what i did today” i added.

“hmm climbed mount everest?” “nope” “slayed a dragon?” “nope” “killed someone?” “god no!”

“i told my mom about us” i smiled. ethans parents have known for a few weeks now about us, but he didnt wanna push me to tell mine. he wanted me to be comfortable with doing it myself.

ethan spins me around, his hands steading my hips. “you did?” he smiles.

“i did” i mirror his smile. the much larger boy then pulls me into the tightest hug possible.

“im so proud of you baby” he says, kissing the crown of my head.

“i have a question though” i place my chin on his sternum so im looking up at ethan. “whats up love?”

“what are you doing for spring break?”

#ethan edwards x reader #umich imagine #ethan edwards #ethan edwards imagine #ethan edwards x y/n #umich hockey

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buterccup · 1 year

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GEN Z READER IN TASK FORCE 141 HC + könig!! PT 2

A/N: You guys are so sweet!! Thank you for the support on the first part of Gen z! Reader series/ Daffodil series, it seriously means a lot! And since I saw someone ask for König I decided to add him too, our baby deserves some love too! And again if anyone has codename ideas please tell me because I am still considering changing Daffodil to something else!

Warnings: Dark humour, Suicide jokes, simping, swearing, mentions of parents leaving the reader, basically gen z stuff, usual CoD violence, wholesome family stuff,

Character(s): Soap, Gaz, John, Ghost, Price, könig x Gn! reader (Mention of Laswell and Graves)

Codename: Daffodil

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

It had been a couple months since you joined the task force and met your boys and they are happy you are with them, and despite being thick-skinned and having a very fucked humour you can get emotional at times.

One time you got upset over something and hugged the closes person to you.

It was Ghost.

And surprisingly he didn't mind, he understood that you were still young and needed comfort. So he gave you comfort that he never got properly when he was younger.

But once you told Ghost that you loved him which caught him off guard and made him stay away from you for a bit to process what you said.

Of course you told him you loved him through texts but hearing you say it was a whole other story.

The others get this treatment too.

Even if you're not upset you'll randomly say that you love them, which they find sweet but they all were caught off guard at first by the sudden burst of affection.

But they got used to it!

But there was one thing they weren't getting used to, your jokes.

Price swears he can feel himself get grey hair every time he hears one of your 'jokes'.

They even came up with a very...odd name for them: "Dil Humour"

When they first started saying the little inside joke you looked at them like they said something horrible.

"Excuse me?? Dil humour????"

"You know ill but instead of ill it's dil from Daffodil- No?.."

"Stop..."

To say the least you were not impressed and you were sure Price came up with it.

But you still loved them anyways.

Even with that ugly hat.

You swear he committed a war crime by just wearing it but he lets you wear it just to spite you. Aw.

You made a Spotify playlist for all your boys and continuously added songs to them until you're ready to share it with them.

One time Gaz caught you adding songs to Soap's playlist and tried to peek over your shoulder.

"What are you doing."

"Your mom"

"Never mind.."

And you may or may not have made one for König.

I mean who could blame you?!

When you first saw the man you were in the mess hall eating with your boys, sitting in between Ghost and Soap, minding your own business until you saw the newest love of your life.

You started to choke while slamming the table with a red ass face.

And you bet that Ghost was the first one to slam his hand onto your back while Soap sat wide-eyed at what just happened.

Before any of your boys could say anything you were looking around like a hawk and getting up to talk to König.

To say the least your boys were in shock and stayed that way until you came back minutes later with a huge smile on your face.

"I GOT A NEW BAE"

"Shh..." (🧼)

"I got a new bae!"

"Oh yeah?" (🧼)

"Fucking what." (💀)

(that one unas anus moment)

And after a while you started sending König so many heart locket gifs of him and a lot of bear memes.

You don't what it is about the guy but he is GIVING bear.

Anyways you love this man to pieces and will always try your best to control yourself and not say any suicide jokes around him.

But you can control yourself so much.

The first ever time König heard you threaten to shoot yourself his eyes widened.

The poor thing was worried for you since all he's ever seen of you was sunshine and memes.

He would just place his hands on your shoulders and make you look him in the eyes as he asks if you're okay and if you ever need to talk you can always go to him.

You sometimes go training with him too and you couldn't stop fawning over how strong he was in your head.

And speaking of training, you also go train with your boys too.

There was one time, Soap was doing push ups and he thought it would be fun to have you sit on his back.

And who were you to say no to that.

Although sometimes you go to the 141 group chat and send memes.

Gaz is always the first to respond.

Always.

Gaz: Where did you find this??

Foap: Daffo this isn't funny

Price: Kid

Gaz: Aren't you two supposed to be training

Price: Where are you both

Baby gril: Is that me?

Soap or whoever is training you always end up finding you when you send jokes like those and make you work extra hard during train with him which makes you cry internally.

Speaking AGAIN of your humour one time you were fighting off one of the enemies and he landed quite a hard punch on you, cutting your cheek in the progress, but once the boys showed up the guy was dead and most of his blood was on your hands. Literally and figuratively.

There was no way of telling which one of the boys came up to you first but they definitely kept asking about your cheek.

"Are you sure you're okay soldier?"

"Yeah I'm sure, my dad hit harder anyway-"

"Daffodil."

They weren't happy with what you said, especially Price

Your boys will never forget the day when they found out that you couldn't drive.

At first everything was a blur, it was during a mission and you all had to fall back, and you somehow got into the driver's seat while Price, Ghost and Soap were in the back while Gaz got in the passenger's seat.

Ghost would have a bullet in his arm while Price and Soap shouted at you to go.

You floored it.

The sudden action made Soap hit his head against the car wall while Gaz and Price were yelling at you to stop.

"YOU SHOULD'VE LEARNT THIS WHEN YOU WERE IN TRAINING."

" JUST GIVE ME THE WHEEL!"

"DEADASS MIGHT THROW UP"

"DAFFODIL-"

They vowed they would never let you drive again until someone teaches you.

You were just bored one day so you beelined your way to Gaz's room and slammed yourself onto his bed.

Of course Gaz was shocked once he saw you enter his room but soon got on with whatever he was doing.

And just like Price, he would never tell you to get out of his room unless it was super important and would just talk with you about random things and let you vent to him.

Somehow you always end up getting all sentimental and it's just really sweet in the end.

Soap sings in the shower.

And Lord have mercy if you hear him you will ALWAYS join in and vice versa.

You two are a power duo.

There was this one time you convinced Ghost and Price to go catfishing with you on a dating app with your phone.

Their names were Gina and Fraincesca and it was very chaotic.

One time one of the people that matched with them started texting your phone during a meeting with Laswell and Graves and since it was going nowhere you checked one of the messages to see a voice message and then-

"Hey baby gorl."

"I'm going to actually kill myself, I will shoot myself right now it's not funny, I have a letter under my bed guys Imma go-"

"Daffodil."

Soap and Gaz still won't let you live properly after that no matter how much Price and Laswell tell them to stop.

Meanwhile Ghost and Grave would just act like nothing happened.

But even after what happened and the relentless teasing Soap and Gaz would do they still cared.

Live, Love, Laugh guys.

Requests: Closed

(Part 3 coming soon and also a one-shot!)

Tag list:

@agspgrwasb

@hwrtsiren

@red-plaidedandcladed

@justmare

@bitchigoteverythingissues

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maximoffcarter · 18 days

Text

Night.

Pairings: Casey Novak x reader.

Warnings: Mentions of rape, mentions of trauma.

Summary: Focused on 6x20. Reader and Casey had been dating for a while now, but Casey decided to keep her relationship a secret for safe. After a new case, Casey wonders if she would hide if something happened to her from her partner.

A/n: This was requested by @alexandracabotswife, based on 6x20, some things I changed, some things stayed the same...there is angst in this. BUT there's a happy ending no worries, friends. I swear I already know the whole chapter by memory for how many times I've wrote about it and I believe I have another request but with Calex hahaha. Keep the requests coming you guys! Enjoy and leave your comments, reblogs, hearts, whatever you'd like, will be very much appreciated🫶🏻

*not my gif*

Casey Novak was known for being private when it came to her private life, the only thing they knew about her that was out of work, was that she played softball and that was about it. She never thought that it was necessary to tell the squad about her life, so she just focused on her job. The moment Olivia told her about what had happened to her years ago with her mom, she knew that somehow they had passed from being just coworkers to friends, creating a new bond that she thought it’d take longer to get. After a while, she thought about telling Olivia about her partner, but she knew that once it was out there that she had a partner, she could put her at risk if any case had a turn and they wanted to threaten anyone from the squad, so she opted to still keep it a secret for a little longer. It was better for her because that way she wouldn’t have to share her girlfriend with anyone else.

Y/n knew how this whole thing would go the moment she knew Casey was an ADA, and she didn’t blame her at all, she was more than okay with it. She had a busy life too and the only times she really got to see Casey were after her long shifts and whenever she got to escape for a bit at lunch time, which sometimes happened to be at the same time as Casey’s. They managed to have an easy routine in their lives to make their relationship work and even if for other people this was hectic and would definitely not work at all, for Casey and y/n worked perfectly, and they couldn’t be happier. Y/n dreaded the nights where Casey called telling her that she’d stay longer in the office, she knew the cases, she was always the one who received the rape patients and she happened to see the detectives coming to take their statement, and she feared that one day someone could hurt Casey and she’d appear in her ER.

Y/n sighed in relief as she heard the door closing, looking up from her book and waiting for Casey to appear in the room. She smiled when she saw the blonde, a smile on her face. “Hey you.”

“Hi.” Casey smiled softly as she walked to y/n and leaned down to kiss her forehead. “I thought I’d find you asleep.”

Y/n shrugged. “I wanted to wait for you.” She smiled softly as her eyes followed Casey around the room.

“Sorry I came home late. I needed to finish some paperwork for tomorrow.” Casey sighed as she grabbed her pajamas, turning to look at her girlfriend. “You should sleep, your shift starts tomorrow at 7 am, right?”

“Yeah, so you better hurry cause I want my girlfriend to hold me.” Y/n smiled softly.

Casey chuckled as she nodded. “Coming.” She smiled as she went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Not long after, she came out the bathroom, turning off all the lights and crawling into bed with y/n. She kissed her lips softly and wrapped her arms around her. “Your day was okay?”

Y/n rested her head against Casey’s chest and nodded. “It was okay. I got some reading done and I did some laundry. I forgot I needed some clean scrubs.”

Casey smiled. “Good. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it for dinner.”

“You’re here now, that’s all that matters.” Y/n smiled softly.

Casey nodded as she kissed her forehead. “I am. I’m always coming home, baby.”

“You better.” Y/n turned to kiss Casey’s neck softly and bury her face in it. “Don’t mind me, the book is getting sadder the more I read it and it’s getting to me.”

Casey chuckled softly. “It’s fiction, my love. And I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. And you better not go anywhere either.”

Y/n shook her head. “Not planning on it, you can’t get rid of me, Novak.” She looked up at Casey and smiled. “We made a pact, remember? No breaking up in this relationship. You done with me? Go to sleep.”

“And I’ll keep that pact.” Casey smiled as she leaned down to kiss her lips.

********************

“Do you think Nina said anything to Milan now that she was almost deported?” Olivia asked as she looked up at Casey.

Casey shrugged. “I don’t think so. Or maybe she did, but I cannot imagine how he could’ve reacted.” She sighed. “I mean, I get why she wouldn’t tell him. But go through the whole thing alone?”

“Sometimes it’s easier to go through it alone than drag someone with us. And not only that, but their beliefs have a lot to do with it.” Olivia shrugged. “Sometimes it’s harder to talk to the people we care about and show them weakness.”

Casey nodded softly as she looked down at her hands. “Would you tell someone?” She looked up at Olivia.

Olivia stared at her for a moment, sighing softly. “I’m not sure. All I have is you guys. And I’m sure even if I tried to hide it, you’d hear about it.” She grinned. “How about you? Anyone I should know about?”

It was Casey’s time to stare at Olivia, not sure if this was the moment she confessed she had a relationship or if she should lie about it. She nibbled on her lip for a moment as her eyes returned to her hands, fidgeting with the pen she had in her hands. “She’d find out too.” She said softly, almost in a whisper.

Olivia frowned, a faint grin on her face. “She?”

Casey smiled as she looked at Olivia. “You know Dr. y/l/n? Head of trauma?”

Olivia tilted her head as she smirked. “Casey Novak…you were holding out on me.”

“For personal reasons.” Casey grinned. “You know the job, Liv. I might only be an attorney but…I didn’t want her to get involved in case someone decided to threaten me.”

Olivia nodded. “I understand that.” She smiled. “How long?”

“Almost a year. We’re already living together.” Casey smiled. “We agreed to keep it private. She knows I work here.”

“I’m happy for you, Case.” Olivia smiled. “So…would you like her to know?”

“Like I said…she’d probably be the first one to know but…the thought of worrying her…I hate to see her sad.”

“You’re her girlfriend, you cannot avoid it.” Olivia raised her brow as she grinned. “You’d like to know if something happened to her, right?”

Casey nodded. “I mean, it’s stupid that we’re even talking about this, she literally put herself as my emergency contact, and she put me as hers.”

“Of course she would.” Olivia chuckled softly. “She just wants to make sure you’re safe. You got yourself a doctor, Case. And not only a doctor, but a head of trauma.” She grinned as she teased. “You not getting out of it easily.”

Casey chuckled. “I know that. I’m lucky.” She smiled softly.

********************

“Lunch delivery for Casey Novak?”

Casey looked up and smiled softly as she looked at her girlfriend. “I’m Casey.”

“Such a beautiful woman. Would it be too forward to ask for your number?” Y/n closed the door behind her and walked to Casey’s desk, dropping the bag of food.

Casey shrugged. “I’m taken, sorry.”

Y/n nodded, making sure the blinds were closed and then looked back at Casey. “Correct answer, you passed the test.” She leaned down and whispered the last word against Casey’s lips, kissing her softly.

Casey smiled against her lips. “I’m glad you had the chance to come.”

Y/n grabbed a chair and placed it beside Casey, sitting down and opening the bag. “Well, I have about an hour before my pager goes off, but I at least wanted to see my pretty girl.” She looked at Casey. “Still on with the case?”

Casey sighed. “Yeah, he’s back with his mom but…” she shrugged. “We just need to look a bit more into this. I’ll probably have to stay late again. I’m sorry I can’t take you to the airport.” She grabbed the box that y/n handed her and placed it in front of her, putting away some paperwork.

“That’s okay, love. I can get there alone.” Y/n smiled. “I should only be gone for 5 days, just a few conferences and then I’ll be back.”

Casey nodded. “Just let me know when you’re there and try updating me every chance you get.”

Y/n looked back at Casey and smiled softly, swallowing the food she had in her mouth to answer Casey. “You’re cute when you’re all overprotective.”

Casey chuckled as she noticed the mustard on the side of her lip, leaning in and licking it clean. “You’re my girlfriend, that’s my job.”

Y/n looked at her straight in the eyes and grinned. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, Novak.”

Casey smirked. “Ever heard of teasing, y/l/n?”

“Oh, you don’t wanna do that.” Y/n leaned in and kissed her lips painfully slowly. But before she could make another move, her pager went off, making her groan. She looked at it and sighed softly. “Guess I’ll have to finish my lunch later.”

Casey sighed softly and nodded. “Make sure you do. And thank you for coming, even if it was for a bit.” She smiled.

“Always.” Y/n smiled and kissed her lips one last time. “I’ll see you in a few days, okay? Try not to get in trouble.”

Casey chuckled. “And you be safe, you better not find anyone new there.” She teased.

“How could I? I already got the girl of my dreams.” Y/n winked at her. “I love you.” She smiled as she grabbed her lunch and walked out of the office.

Casey smiled softly as she watched her girlfriend go, sighing as she leaned back in her chair. The conversation with Olivia played in her mind as she looked at the files. She knew she was overprotective herself, with the cases she worked, she just wanted to make sure that her girlfriend was safe, and she knew y/n wanted the same for Casey, which is what made them work so perfectly well, because they understood each other’s worries. Casey mentioned Charlie to y/n, she had never really talked about the trauma that it had left on her, flinching at any possible moment if someone near her raised a hand, was definitely not into choking, and many other things that with the time she had noticed that she did, and y/n had accepted her fully, with trauma, fears, and all. She was the only one who truly knew what had happened with Charlie, and she felt so lucky to have someone like her. She felt loved and safe, she felt cared for, and she wanted the same y/n.

********************

The last thing Casey expected was to get attacked at her office and not remember anything about it. Did she fight back? Did she get to hurt him? She always had her softball bat near her, whether she was going to the batting cages, or she just left it there to have a replacement in case she forgot hers back home. Did she remember to grab it and try to defend herself? She couldn’t remember a thing, and she knew it was okay, it happened, it wasn’t weird for her to not remember anything. Olivia told her the damage she had suffered, she didn’t wake up for a whole day, and she could definitely feel the pain radiating through her body, but she didn’t want to show more weakness as it was. She was glad it was Olivia and not Elliot who went to check on her, cause then she’d also have to hide the fact that she just wanted to burst down into tears. She cried for a bit more, feeling Olivia’s hand holding hers for comfort and to let her know she was there.

“Liv?” Casey whispered softly as she looked at her.

“Yes? Do you need something, honey?” Olivia asked softly.

Casey felt more tears rolling down her cheek as she looked at Olivia. “Don’t tell y/n.”

Olivia sighed. “Casey-“

“Please.” Casey pleaded as her bottom lip trembled. “She’s away. She’s not coming back yet and I…I don’t want her to panic. I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t know, Casey.” Olivia shook her head. “She’ll figure it out once she’s back.”

“I’ll deal with it then. I don’t want her to know what happened to me.”

“And what, you’re gonna lie to her? Sweetheart-“

“Please, Liv.” Casey whispered softly. “I know I need…to tell her but…” she sobbed. “I don’t want her to panic. She’s been waiting for these conferences for a while, and-“

“And don’t you think she’ll drop everything to come to you? Casey, she’s your partner. You told me, she’d want to know if something happened to you, just like you’d want to know. What if…” Olivia sighed. “What if it was her here? Wouldn’t you want to know?”

Casey closed her eyes as she took a shaky breath. “Yes.” She whispered.

“They discharge you tomorrow morning. We’ll let tonight pass, but tomorrow morning, we’re calling her, Casey.” Olivia said softly.

Casey looked back at Olivia with sad eyes, nodding softly. “Okay.”

Olivia nodded. “Okay. And I’m staying here with you, I’m not going anywhere.”

Casey offered a small smile. “Thanks.”

Casey knew it was wrong, she knew that she’d want to get to the hospital as soon as they called her. She was surprised that the hospital decided not to call her the moment she arrived, but Olivia had told the nurses to keep this case to themselves for now until they knew Casey was not in danger anymore. Casey tried to sleep, she really tried, the painkillers doing wonders to stop the pain, but her mind couldn’t stop spinning around, she tried so hard to remember what happened to her, how it all went bad in an instant. She didn’t tell Olivia, but she heard her asking a nurse if she had the results back from the rape kit, wanting to make sure she was clear because she had found Casey with her shirt open and her pants unbuttoned, and she wanted to sigh in relief once she heard the kit was clear and she had not been raped, but they had tried to do it, whoever did this to her, they were about to do it. Part of her wished that y/n was there, holding her and telling her that things will be alright, but also she was glad that she had been away when this happened, because if it had been y/n finding her in her office, she wouldn’t be able to bear with the thought of having y/n wondering if she was okay or not.

********************

Casey groaned as she sat back down in the hospital bed, trying to ignore the awful pain all over her body and also frustrated at the fact that she’d need to use a stupid cane for the next few days. She was 30 years old and already using a cane. She had told Olivia that she could just grab a cab or something to head back home but both Olivia and Stabler rejected her idea, telling her to wait for Olivia to show up once she was done in the precinct. She felt tired from laying down for a whole day, but she tried to walk, and she got just as tired. It was mostly the pain, she couldn’t hold herself on her feet for longer than 10 min or the pain would show up. She was thinking about lying back down or trying to walk again for a bit but before she could make that choice, she heard the door handle, thinking Olivia had finally arrived but her heart stopped at the sight of her girlfriend.

“Y/n.” Casey whispered softly.

Y/n closed the door behind her and stared at Casey. A mix of anger and worry painted her face. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“Y/n, I-“

“No. You told Olivia to tell the nurses to put you as Jane Doe so I wouldn’t find out? But do I need to remind you that they also work for me, and they know I’m dating you?” Y/n stood at the door the whole time, not showing any other emotion other than seriousness, while her arms were crossed.

“I didn’t want to worry you. I’m fine, and you were-“

“Fine, Casey? You-“ Y/n scoffed. “You have bruises all over your face, your left eye is swollen you can’t even open it, you got broken ribs. You could’ve had something worse than a concussion, Casey.”

Casey looked down at her hands. “I’m sorry.” She whispered softly, her voice cracking a bit.

Y/n sighed as she closed her eyes for a moment, feeling her eyes getting teary. She looked back at Casey and walked to her, sitting down next to her, and wrapping her arm around her shoulders carefully. “I’m sorry, baby. I just…the thought of you…here, alone. Seeing you like this.” Her voice broke for a moment as she spoke. “And I wasn’t here.”

Casey looked back at y/n and shook her head. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

“You’re my girlfriend, that’s my job.” Y/n smiled as she saw Casey smiling. She kissed her head softly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have talked to you that way.”

“And I’m sorry I didn’t call you.” Casey looked at her and shrugged. “Can’t say I wouldn’t have reacted the same way you did. And do not dare to figure out if I would.”

Y/n chuckled. “I won’t.”

“Who told you anyway?”

Y/n sighed. “It so happened that the last day of conferences were cancelled. Dr. Morton got sick, and he decided he’d reschedule the conferences but here in New York as soon as he recovers. I called the hospital to let my boss know I was back in New York and to my surprise, Janice mentions that she saw my girlfriend last night and she promised she’d take care of you until I came to pick her up.” She raised her brow as she grinned. “Guess the note didn’t get to her in time.”

“Guess not.” Casey smiled as she sighed. “Olivia was supposed to come pick me up.”

“Well, you can just tell her you were too stubborn to wait for her and you called a cab.”

Casey smiled softly as she looked at y/n. “She knows about you.”

Y/n tilted her head as she smiled. “She does?” Casey nodded. “Did she-“

“I told her.” Casey smiled. “We were talking about the case and…it was brought up if I had someone, and I couldn’t hide it anymore.” She huffed a chuckle. “She was supposed to call you this morning to let you know. So no, I was not going to wait to tell you. Something came up and she had to go. She stayed with me all night.”

Y/n nodded as she sighed. “Then I should call her to thank her.” She smiled as she looked at Casey, trying to hold back tears. “Don’t do this again, Case. Please. When it comes to you, I don’t care about anything else. You hear me? You’re my priority, if I have to steal a plane to come to you, then I will.” She smiled sadly as she caressed her chin.

Casey chuckled softly as she nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks. “You didn’t do that, did you?”

Y/n shrugged. “Don’t watch the news.” She grinned.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“So am I.” Y/n smiled as she leaned in and kissed her lips softly.

“Casey, I’m sorry, we were-“ Olivia stopped in her tracks as she stared at both of them, confusion taking over her face. “I uh- I’m sorry. Did I…interrupt something?”

Casey chuckled as she pulled away, looking at Olivia. “I believe you know y/n.”

Olivia nodded. “We’ve crossed paths once or twice. Just that now I know you as Casey’s girlfriend.” .” Olivia smiled, walking to them, and extending her hand. “Nice to meet you properly.” She then looked at Casey, letting go of y/n’s hand. “Guess you beat me to call her?”

“Nice to meet you properly too, and no.” Y/n chuckled. “You guys forgot that you cannot use the nurses against me.” She looked back at Casey and grinned, looking back at Olivia then. “But thank you for making sure Casey was okay and safe.”

Olivia nodded. “No problem.” She smiled. “So, guess you won’t be needing a ride anymore.”

“No, I got my girl here.” Casey smiled as she leaned into y/n.

“Guess I’ll see you later then.” Olivia smiled as she started to walk away. “You got a good one here.” She winked at Casey and walked out of the room.

Y/n looked back at Casey and smiled. “Ready to go home?”

Casey nodded. “Let’s go home.” She smiled.

********************

“Case, are you sure?” Y/n asked softly as she saw Casey grabbing her briefcase, sighing softly as she stood in the kitchen.

Casey looked back at her and offered a smile. “Baby, I’m okay. I just need to continue with this case, Nina-“

“The case matters more than your own health?” Y/n frowned as she stared at Casey.

“Y/n…” Casey sighed. “I don’t mean that. You know that, but…I need to end with this. I need to get this case done. I need to get her justice.”

“You need to get justice to the sister of the man that attacked you.” Y/n snapped. She took a deep breath as she looked away. “Casey, I- I know why you’re doing this, and I know Cragen asked you to talk to Nina, but baby.” She looked back at Casey and shook her head. “Are you sure you’re ready to go back there?”

Casey took a deep breath as she looked down at her briefcase, a serious look on her face. “It’s my job.” She looked back at y/n. “This is my case.”

Y/n sighed as she nodded, deciding not to keep going and stress Casey. “Can I at least drive you?”

Casey offered a small smile and nodded. “Okay. Can we go?”

Y/n nodded before she grabbed the keys and walked to Casey, grabbing the briefcase from her hands, raising a brow once she got the typical defying stare from Casey, but this time, Casey just let it go, knowing that y/n was doing enough already with letting her go. They first stopped at Nina’s place, Casey was ready to play the victim card if she had to if that meant she got to convince Nina to testify. She was surprised once Nina agreed to do whatever she needed to do, saving Casey a lot of time. Once she was back in the car, y/n knew that the next stop was her office, still against the idea but knowing better than to argue with Casey. Once they got there, y/n made sure to remind Casey that she could call her and she’d be there right away, Casey only telling her that everything would be okay.

To her luck, the first person she saw was Whitaker, dropping the news that she had been dropped off the case and she was now called to be a witness for the defense, making her even more upset than she already was. Once she was back in her office, she stopped for a moment as she opened the door and stared at her office. She still didn’t remember much of what happened that night, faint memories had shown up in the last few days, but she couldn’t make up the whole thing. She looked on the floors and at her desk, things were left as she remembered but the only difference was that she had more files than she had left that day in the afternoon. Olivia had mentioned that they were running over her notes and the case, so that explained all the files. She took a deep breath as she walked in, dropping the files she had in her arm and groaned softly as she felt the pain in her ribs, but before she could focus on anything else, Branch walked in.

“I heard you were back.” Branch tilted his head as he stared at Casey.

Casey turned to look at him and sighed. “And I was called to testify.” She handed him the notification.

Branch grabbed it and sighed as he read it. “Hell of strategy. Nina lost her virginity, was afraid of what her traditional Muslim brother might do if he found out. So, she lied about being raped.” He handed it back to Casey and looked at her.

“Yeah, Whitaker wants to use Milan’s attack on me to bolster his case.” Casey scoffed, pacing from one side to another. “He’s violent, therefore Nina’s afraid, so she made up a story about being raped by Gabriel Duvall.”

“It’s a compelling argument.” Branch followed her to the back of her office, his eyes staying on Casey the whole time.

Casey turned back to look at Branch. “I can win this motion. A, I’m up in front of Judge Trillin, and he loves me. B, the way I look, I’m gonna get the sympathy vote-“

“Casey. I’m taking this case away from you.” Branch simply said, staring at Casey and preparing for what was coming.

Casey stared at him for a moment, not saying a word. She shook her head. “You can’t. Not after what I’ve been through.” She walked to him, her defying stare painted on her face. “No one wants to win this case more than I do.”

“Which is exactly why you can’t try it. I hate to say this, but Whitaker was right. You’re too emotionally involved. I’ve already reassigned the case.”

“To who?”

“Tracey Kibre.” Branch said as he walked to the door, knowing that Casey wouldn’t actually drop it.

Casey followed him to the door. “She’s a homicide AD. She’s not used to live victims. Nina won’t be able to relate to her.”

Branch sighed as he turned to look at Casey. “She’s putting Nina on the grand jury tomorrow morning, it’s decided, Casey.” He shook his head. “You shouldn’t even be here. I gave you free days.”

“That I was gonna take after I was done with this case.”

“Casey, you’re injured. You’re barely able to walk on your own. You were attacked. I can make the notification go away, so you don’t testify, but I need you to get some rest, you need to heal.” Branch placed his hand carefully on her shoulder. “I’m doing this because I care for you. Go home, Casey.” He offered a smile before he walked out of the office.

Casey sighed heavily as he closed the door, she stared at it for a while before she turned to look at her office again, and suddenly, as she stood alone in her office with the door closed, pictures of the night started to show up. She felt her whole body getting warm, and not a good warm. She tried to take a deep breath as she looked around, trying to focus her eyes on something, and then she noticed; her bat was gone. Her bat was gone. Did they take it? She swore the last time she was here before the attack, the bat was against the sofa, where she always put it. He attacked her with it, she was sure of it. She suddenly felt her face getting wet and she noticed that she had tears rolling down her cheeks, and her chest started to feel heavy, and her ribs were hurting as she tried to breath. Who was she kidding? Her mind had been focused on the case that she didn’t think the damage that would do to her to come back here. She pulled her cellphone out and dialed y/n’s number rapidly.

“Y/n?” Casey sobbed, sitting down on the couch as she placed her free hand over her face.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I-I need you. I- please come pick me up. I can’t-“

“I’ll be right up, Casey. Just stay where you are.”

Casey hung up and placed her hand on her chest, trying to put pressure on it. She sobbed as she closed her eyes, trying to think of something else and not focus on her surroundings anymore, the pictures of that night were slowly coming back and now she regretted that a few days ago she was trying so hard to remember and now here she was, sobbing as she remembered every emotion she felt as she was getting beaten up. Before she could let her mind overthink even more, she felt arms wrapping around her, startling her, and making her move away from whoever it was, opening her eyes as she panted and sobbing in relief as she noticed it was y/n.

“Y/n.” Casey sobbed, wrapping her arms around her. She whined for a moment, but she didn’t care, she just wanted y/n to hold her.

“I’m here, Case. I’m here.” Y/n sighed softly as she held Casey, kissing the side of her face softly.

“You were right. I shouldn’t be here.” Casey cried as she buried her face on y/n’s neck.

“You’re okay, baby. We’re leaving, okay?” Y/n pulled away and placed her hands carefully on Casey’s face, pecking her lips softly. “I’m taking you home.” She whispered softly as she stared into green eyes.

Casey nodded softly as she nibbled on her lip. “Okay.” She frowned. “Wait. H-How did you get here so fast?”

Y/n smiled. “I was waiting in the car, I never left.”

Casey smiled sadly. “Stubborn.”

Y/n chuckled softly and stood up, helping Casey to stand up. She placed her hand on Casey’s back rubbing it up and down before she grabbed Casey’s briefcase and then walked out of the office with Casey.

********************

Once they were back home, nothing was said about what happened back in the office. Casey knew she had to talk about it sooner or later, but if she talked about it, she was afraid that she was going to accept the fact that she had been a victim. That she was a victim. She was not ready to have that conversation. Olivia had told Casey that she could go talk to someone professional, Elizabeth had also given her the number -and the suggestion- of someone, but she knew she’d be okay. She didn’t need that. She just wanted to rest and move on from it, she didn’t want to be recognized as a victim, yes, she had been attacked, but that was it. She was okay, charges were there because Elliot had pushed Casey to place them, but nothing else was going to be done about it. She would be okay, everything would be okay.

“Case?”

Casey looked up at y/n, offering a small smile. “Hi.”

Y/n smiled softly. “Hi.” She walked slowly to the bed and sat down at her side. “Are you okay?”

Casey nodded. “I am. I’m just…tired.”

“I need to change your bandage.” Y/n said softly, putting a strand of hair behind Casey’s ear. “You can go to sleep after.”

Casey took a deep breath and then exhaled. “Can you just change it in the morning? Please?”

Y/n smiled softly. “Okay. Did you take your pills?”

“I did, doctor.” Casey grinned.

Y/n chuckled softly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I know why you’re doing it.” Casey smiled softly. “Are you gonna come to bed with me?”

“I am. Was just cleaning up.” Y/n extended her arm to turn off the lamp, but Casey’s hand grabbed hers, making her turn to look at Csaey.

“Can you…can you leave it on?” Casey whispered softly.

“Of course.” Y/n smiled softly. “Anything else you need?”

“You.” Casey smiled.

Y/n moved to lay down and get under the covers, opening her arms for Casey to lay down with her. She knew Casey needed to sleep in a certain position, but she was too stubborn to actually listen to her, so she had decided to just give in and stop arguing with her, after all, she knew Casey only wanted to be held. She kissed her head softly and wrapped her arms around her carefully, closing her eyes. Y/n hated the fact that she couldn’t do more for Casey, she could definitely tell that there was something going on in her head, but there was nothing else she could do. She was not about to push Casey to say or do something that she didn’t want to do or say something she didn’t want to say. She knew how hard it was to talk about what had happened, and y/n only knew what Olivia had told her that happened, and that was it. They didn’t know the whole thing, after all, Casey didn’t remember anything, and Olivia had agreed with y/n that they wouldn’t push her to talk.

For the last few days, the painkillers had been helping Casey not only with her pain, but also to sleep better at night, but tonight, the stress of the day had caught up to her and the anxiety attack she had in her office had made her keep overthinking during the day. She thought maybe she’d be able to sleep at night, but her mind played her tricks and images from the attack appeared in her mind; the moment he got to the office and hit her with the flowers, every hit, every groan, every whine, she now remembered grabbing her bat, but he took it and hit her with it, he slammed her on her desk, she tried to stop him but then he slammed her head and that was it. That’s where the accident stopped, but that’s where her nightmare began.

Casey opened her eyes slowly, looking around as she tried to figure out where she was. She figured she was still in her office, but she was on the floor, and someone was on top of her, her shirt was open, and a hand was wrapped around her throat. “N-No…s-stop!”

“Shut up, bitch! This is what you get!” He laughed darkly, his other hand caressing roughly her side and getting to her pants, unbuttoning it.

“N-No.” Casey tried to scream but his hand tightened his grip on her throat, making her start choking. “No!”

“No!” Casey shot up from the bed and panted heavily, some of her hair sticking to her face as she sweat covered her forehead.

Y/n sat up in bed as soon as she heard Casey, her hands going to Casey’s back. “Casey? What’s wrong?”

Casey abruptly moved from y/n’s touch, fear could be seen in her eyes as she looked at y/n. “Stay away from me!”

Y/n’s eyes widened as she stared at Casey, standing up from bed and raising her hands. “Case, it’s me, y/n.” She slowly walked to Casey’s side as she tried to focus her eyes on y/n. “You’re safe, Casey. It’s only me.” She slowly sat beside Casey in bed and wrapped her arms carefully but tightly enough to try to stop Casey from shaking, one of her hands going to Casey’s head to hold her against her shoulder.

Casey trembled as she loudly sobbed, letting her body collapse on y/n’s arms. Y/n closed her eyes, letting Casey cry all she needed, her arms still wrapped around her. Her fear came true, she was hoping that Casey wouldn’t remember anything from the attack and that she wouldn’t have any nightmares about it, but she knew this had been a nightmare. Easily, ten minutes passed until she felt Casey relaxing in her arms, her sobs slowly fading away and her body slowly stopped trembling. Y/n opened her eyes but decided to stay right there, no words, no movements, just holding her tightly. Another two or three minutes passed until she finally felt Casey’s breathing slowing down, and her chest was not racing as bad as it had been. She was slowly coming back to her senses, and she was starting to feel y/n.

“Y/n?” Casey cried out, almost in a whisper.

“Yes, baby. It’s me.” Y/n kissed her head softly, slowly pulling away just enough to look at Casey. “It’s me, y/n.”

Casey looked into her eyes in horror, her mind finally figuring out what had happened. “I-I’m sorry.” She sobbed.

“Why are you sorry, baby?” Y/n asked softly, her hand running through Casey’s hair, and then going down to her cheek, wiping away her tears.

“I didn’t- I just-“ Casey sobbed. “I didn’t want you to know…that I…that I remembered.” She shook her head as her bottom lip trembled. “I wanted to move on. I wanted to be strong.”

“Oh, baby. Look at me.” Y/n’s finger went to Casey’s chin, making her look into her eyes. “I don’t blame you for not wanting to talk about it. I get it. This doesn’t make you any less strong, baby.”

Casey opened her mouth to say something, but she closed her eyes again as more tears left her eyes. Y/n placed her arm under Casey’s legs and the other on her back, carefully moving her to sit on her lap. Casey unconsciously helped her move her own body so she didn’t have a hard time and she wouldn’t whine in pain, burying her face on y/n’s neck as she got into place. She felt Casey wrapping her arms around her middle tightly, y/n kissed her head softly, her lips lingering there. Another few minutes passed until Casey felt like she ran out of tears, feeling exhausted, but she didn’t want to move, even if she felt pain in her middle, she just wanted y/n to hold her. She knew she had to talk to y/n, but she didn’t know if she was entirely ready, but if she didn’t do it, she was afraid that the more she kept it inside, the more nightmares she would have. Y/n felt Casey’s head moving, making her look down at Casey; her eyes were red and puffy just like her lips, she wanted nothing more than to lean down and kiss her, but she knew it was not the moment.

“I’m here, my love.” Y/n smiled softly.

“I know.” Casey whispered softly.

“Do you want me to get you some water? Or do you want us to stay like this?”

“Stay.”

“Then we stay.” Y/n smiled softly, stroking her cheek. “You don’t have to say anything, you know? I’ll be here as long as you need me.”

“I want to talk.” Casey whispered softly.

“Okay…than I’m listening.”

Casey moved carefully to sit and lean over the pillows. The pillows had been positioned so she could sleep comfortably but in a sitting position, something Casey had hated. Her legs stayed in y/n’s lap, y/n only moving to face Casey.

“When I was at the office…I remembered.” Casey shook her head. “I didn’t…I thought I wouldn’t remember anything, I just wanted to go back to work to forget this even happened to me. But as soon as Branch left and closed the door…I was left alone and…it slowly just came back to me.” She sobbed. “I never told Olivia…but I…” she took a shaky breath. “I heard her asking a nurse…if the…if the rape kit had come back…because she had found me…with my shirt open and my p-pants unbuttoned.”

Y/n felt range run all over her body, closing her eyes for a moment as she tried to hold back tears. “Case…”

“It came back clean. He didn’t…” Casey nibbled on her lip nervously as she tried to hold back her tears again. “I guess he wanted to try.” She sighed. “I thought…maybe if I went back, if I worked on the case, then everything would be okay. I’d be okay. If I didn’t talk about it…it wouldn’t be real.” She sobbed softly as she looked at y/n. “I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Case.” Y/n shook her head as her hand went to Casey’s cheek, stroking it softly. “You went through a traumatic thing, and I don’t blame you for taking your time to process it. I told you I’d be here for you, no matter what. And I’m not going anywhere, baby.” She tilted her head and smiled softly. “I am so sorry I was not here.”

Casey shook her head. “I should’ve called you.”

“Casey, stop torturing yourself.” Y/n smiled softly. “You’re here, you’re safe. And I’m gonna make sure that it stays that way. Even if I’m a pain in the ass.”

Casey chuckled softly as she nodded. “I need to see someone professional.” She whispered softly. “I don’t want to have nightmares.”

Y/n nodded. “Then we’ll go to someone. And I’ll be by your side.” She smiled. “I take it that you’ll take the free days?”

Casey huffed a chuckle and nodded. “I will.”

“I will too.”

Casey frowned. “No, you don’t-“

“I want to.” Y/n smiled. “I want to be here with you, I’ll take care of you, and we’ll go through this together. Doesn’t matter how long it takes, we’re in this together.”

Casey smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you even more.” Y/n smiled as she leaned in and kissed her lips softly.

“Please, never leave.” Casey whispered against her lips.

“Never. You’re never getting rid of me.” Y/n grinned.

“You better mean that.” Casey grinned, kissing her lips again.

#casey novak x reader #casey novak #svu fic #law and order svu #svu

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alltoolewis · 1 year

Text

Mine, forever- Mason mount 💐

I'm back!!! So happy to finally be back writing, I am so sorry for the long hiatus... I just needed some time away from social media to clear my head but now I'm back with more ideas than ever 😊 This one is random but super cute and fluffy! I am a little rusty from writing so this isn't my best but I really hope you all enjoy... love you guys 🧡

(This GIF is random but I just love how cute and fluffy he looks...)

Summary- When Mason tells you he told his mum that you were his date to the wedding, you immediately say no... but after thought and a deep conversation with your best friend... would being Mason Mounts girl be that bad...

You knew there was something up with him from the second he entered your flat. His eyes barely looking at you as he mumbled a quite hello, eyebrows furrowed together to which you know from your 6 years of friendship meant he was nervous.

“What have you done now?” You sighed, watching as he threw himself dramatically on the sofa hands covering his face like he complementing all of his life choices. “Had an argument with Ben again?” You questioned, to which he shook his head “a dirty tackle in training..?” Again your suspicions were met with a shake of a head. “Got a girl pregnant?”

His head shot up with disgust as he glared at you “what the fuck (y/n)? No! Of course not!”

“Then why the sour face..?” You laugh, not understanding your best friend’s dramatics “you haven’t had an argument, your not in trouble with the team… not got a girl pregnant” you had to sniffle a laugh as he side eyed you once more “what possibly could be worst than that, mase?”

His head fell back once more as his hands squished his face, mumbling a response in his palms that you could barely make out. “What was that again, captain?” His lips pulled slightly as you spoke the nickname you had used since his first captaincy in youth games, but that was quickly changed to a frown as he realised he still had to tell you.

“I may have told my mum I was bringing you along to the wedding” he breathed out all in one, voice shaking as he looked over to you where you were stood even more confused than before.

“Okay…” you spoke, voiced laced with confusion “what’s so wrong with that?”

“She asked if I had a plus one…”

“And you said I was going with you as your plus one…” you said calmly, trying your best to piece together why he was shook up over something that you knew about. Your eyes pierced his as you watched him wince, realisation suddenly hitting you “you said we were going as friends right?”

His head dipped down as he stared at his feet, to scared to look up at the horror on your face. “Mason tony mount, please tell me you didn’t?” You sighed, already knowing what’s next.

“I told her you were my date..” he groaned, hating saying the words out loud to you, just as much as he hated seeing your face scrunch up in disgust. “Mason…” you groaned back, throwing yourself down on the couch next to him, your hands now covering your own face.

“I’m sorry!”

“let me get this straight” letting go of your face, you looked at his dark hazel eyes trying to piece together why he told the worst lie he could ever have done “you told your mom you had a date to bring to the wedding when she asked, even when you could’ve just said that you’re just bringing a friend—me!—along with you.”

Nodding, he looked at you sheepishly “...i didn’t want my aunties to bully me again because i was single. they were ruthless at the last wedding.”

“You could have told the truth tho mase!” You scr each, throwing your hands up “you could of just said you don’t have a date but was bringing me as your friend!”

“They would have still rinsed us tho!” He argued back, trying his best to convince you even when he hasn’t convinced himself that this was not as bad as it seemed “They would have seen you next to me and questioned us all night! Atleast this way we don’t get questioned… I’ve done us a favour really”

Sitting up, you clapped your hands together taking him slightly off guard “oh sounds like a great plan Mason!” You laugh “perfect even… there’s just one thing your forgetting!”

“What?”

“We are not fucking dating!!!” You scream, causing him to flinch “what the hell is wrong with you! Why would you make things even more complicated than they are?!”

Ever since you’ve been friends your families have been rooting- begging even- for you to get together, his being a little more intense than yours! They could see the chemistry a mile away, even before you and Mason could. It wasn’t that you wasn’t attracted to the Chelsea star, your were head over heels for him, almost as much as he was for you. You were each others weaknesses and as much as you wanted to fall even further for him, you refused to get involved in his crazy world of screaming fans and the media. So you did the one thing you wished you never did- put him in the friend zone… a strong, painful friendzone! & it was going well… until he just ruined it!!

“You are overreacting now, (y/nn)” he huffed, feeling a bit deflated by your reaction “it’s one day, one day where we have to act like we are in love… which shouldn’t be hard to do” although his voice faded out at the end of the sentence you heard him crystal clear, causing a dramatic sigh to leave your lips.

Mason watched as you covered your face, for a moment he was able to see the tears brim your eyes causing his heart to break. He knew how hard it was for you deny your feelings- although they were clear to everyone & he understood why you didn’t want to get involved romantically with him although he though that you would be unstoppable together and he would protect you from the hard side of his world! But that didn’t mean your reaction didn’t hurt…

Kneeling down in front of you, he placed his hand gently on your knee causing you to peer at him from in between your fingers “we don’t have to you know…” he whispered softly, not wanting to catch you off guard “I’m sorry- It’s my fault for dragging you into this mess, especially since you don’t want to get involved with me in the first place”

The tremble and purity in his voice made your heart melt as you gazed up to him “you know it’s not because of that mase..”

“Then what is it…?” He pushed gently, eager to her your thoughts.

“It’s just when… if… I go with you as your ‘date’ I’m going to feel what it’d be like to be your girlfriend“ you sniffled, glancing up at him once more with tears in your eyes “I don’t know if my heart can handle it knowing it’ll only be a day and I can’t be it forever…”

Not being able to handle the urge any more, he wraps his arm tight around you allowing you to let silent tears fall on his sweatshirt. Once he knew you were calming down he allowed your head to rest on his shoulder, only then allowing his voice to break the silence “would it be bad tho?…”

“What?” You whispered back

“Being my girl forever…” his voice was the most vulnerable you had ever heard it, even after a loss you had never heard him speak with so much brokenness “is it really that bad for me to love you so open??”

You wanted to scream no… that you’ve never wished for anything more than to be his and only his. To be able to watch his matches with much more than just your best friends name on your back. To be able to take him to family occasions without questions, to be able to kiss him so openly in front of your friends, family and the world… but you couldn’t…

“Yes…” you whispered so lightly so lightly you were afraid he wouldn’t hear, but as his arms tightened around you, you knew he had “it would be awful Mason… ”

————

Since that day the wedding hadn’t been brought up since. Mason decided to tell his mum that you weren’t able to make it after all, while you decided to avoid Mason at all costs. Whenever he planned to come round you would make an excuse as to why he shouldn’t, Everytime he rang youd just as quickly make sure that it didn’t take longer than 5 minutes. He knew you were avoiding him on purpose, of course he did! He knew you better than you knew yourself, but that almost meant he knew you were just as desperate see him as he was to see you & it would only be time until you’d crack… little did he know you’d crack sooner rather than later!

“I don’t know if I can do this Lauren…” you sighed, holding the dress you had carefully picked for the wedding which was taking place in just 3 hours time “what if he’s already got someone else to go with him now!”

“Oh behave (y/n)!” Lauren laughed as she rocked Jude gently “that boy wouldn’t have anybody else as his wedding date but you… fake or not!”

Even after her words of comfort your hand still trembled against the silk fabric, your mind running with what ifs and maybes “what are you so scared off?” She spoke in a soft motherly voice as if she was talking to her own “falling in love with him?”

“No..” you sighed, sitting down on the edge of your bed, the camera on face time now only being able to catch the small crown of your head “I’m well past that point Lauren, I’m already in love with him..”

“Then why are you afraid?”

“He’s… him” you mumbled, glancing over to your vanity to where a picture of you and mase was sat. It was from the champions league after party, his hand wrapped around your waist as his medal was displayed proudly against your neck each of you holding an ear of the famous trophy “I’m not good enough for him… I don’t fit into that world!”

“I you think I fit into dec’s” Lauren smiled back “god (y/n)! I’m not a made name or a famous model, but he loves me… just like Mason loves you!”

“But what if we don’t work?” Your voice cracked as you spoke the possibility “what if it fails and we end up running what we have…” that’s always been your main fear, losing him. Not only because you don’t fit into his crazy world but also because you not good enough for him… or that’s what you think.

“You won’t!” Lauren cooed “you are perfect for eachother, I know it, dec knows it! Your whole family knows it, even Mason knows it… and deep down you do too! Go to that wedding, pretend to be his date and then follow your heart… if that’s to go back to being friends or more! Let your heart choose..”

You knew if you went to this wedding as his date there was no going back, there was no way you’d only be able to hold him, cuddle up to him, even place your lips on his (if needed to) for only one day!

“I can do this!” You breathed out, holding the dress in front of you “ I can do it!”

———

The second you arrived at the venue you spotted him, even when there was a huge group of people outside all wearing similar tux’s… you knew which one was your Mason!

You could already see his aunties huddled around him, nosy looks on there faces only telling you that they were doing the one thing that Mason didn’t want to happen… quizzing him on his love life! Even from here you could see the discomfort on his face, his eyebrows furrowed together as his hands messed with the edge of his navy blue tie- the same colour as the dress lauren helped you pick out! Not being able to let him struggle for much more, you hopped out your car with shaky hands, making your way over to save your boyfriend for the day.

“So your single?” His aunt asked, causing Mason to wince at her bluntness not really knowing what to say. “Sort off- no… I’m..” he wanted to mention you, just like he did to his mum but he couldn’t do that to you again. His aunt was just about to speak again when a hand was placed on his shoulder and the scent of your strawberry tinkled his senses.

“Hi… I’m so sorry for being late!” You breathed out, from anybody else’s ears they would of thought you ran over but to Mason he knew it was nerves that was causing your voice to shake. His cheeks turned crimson as you leant up to him,before you could stop yourself your lips touch his cheek in a subtle PDA greeting “the traffic was crazy and I couldn’t find a parking space, it was a nightmare!”

“Your here now tho” Mason smiled down to you; placing his arm around your shoulder as he pulled you slightly “that’s all that matters!” His eyes gazed straight back into yours, nothing but love and gratitude in them.

Impatiently his aunts cleared there and throats, causing you to break from your moment & that’s when it came reality in what this really was. “Aunt Jane. Aunt sue. This is (y/n), my fr-“

“Girlfriend…” you cut in, causing his eyes to grow wide alongside his aunties “it’s really lovely to finally meet you both…” from the side of your eyes you could see the big grin on his face and for the moment it felt like you could say it forever!

“Oh my goodness, we know who you are sweetheart!” His aunt gasped, grabbing you into a hug “we have been rooting for the two of you for years… you’ve got to tell us everything!”

Mason was just about to open his mouth when you cut him of once more “I’m so sorry for the wait, it’s been my fault…” looking up to him, you give him a soft smile “I didn’t want to ruin what we had before, but then I realized we can have so much more… as-long as we stick together!”

“You’ve got nothing to apologise for darling… your both together and that’s the important thing!”

Grabbing your hand, he squeezed it tight looking down at you with adoration “The wait was worth it in the end”

Once his aunts got enough gossip out the two of you, it was finally time to head into the church. Leaving you and Mason to walk in alone- hand in hand!

“What’s this about..?” Mason whispered in your ear as he sat down next to you. Although he loved your little surprise entrance he couldn’t help but be confused into what has happened.

“You needed me..” you whispered back, looking into his hazel eyes “and what fake girlfriend would I be if I left you here alone…” His chest rumbled lightly as he tugged you closer to him. “Your amazing you know that?” He grinned, pecking your temple gently as if he forgot it was all fake “plus you look absolutely incredible today.. could barely breathe when I looked down at you- prettier than the bride I swear!”

“Mason!” You gasp, smacking his chest gently as you looked around to make sure no heard his words “you can’t say that!”

“Yes I can!” He laughed “especially when my girl looks like this!”

Looking at him with a twinkle in your eye you smirked “I’m only your girl for a day tho champ, don’t get lost in your thoughts!”

“Does it have to be tho??”

“Be what?” You questioned, furrowing your eyebrows together in slight confusion

“For a day… could you not be my girl forever?” The same vulnerability as last week flashed in his eyes “please (y/n) , let me love you in the open? Would it be that bad?” This time you couldn’t say it would

Just as the lights dimmed and the sound of the wedding march began, you moved his cheek to the side planting an awaiting kiss onto his lips. Even tho it was just a peck, the fireworks shot off between you too leaving you desperate for more…

“No Mase…” you whispered softly squeezing hand tight “it would perfect!”

#england nt #football #football imagine #chelsea fc #money mase #mason mount #mason mount fluff #mason mount fanfic #mason mount one shot #mason mount fic #mason mount blurbs #mason mount blurb #mason mount imagine #mason mount x reader #mason mount imagines

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mentally-in-northern-italy · 2 years

Text

the right time — j.f.

** not my gif **

Summary: Jeremiah's confession of his true feelings for you always seems to die on his tongue. Until one day, they finally find their way out - AKA the three times that Jeremiah tries to confess, and the one time he finally does.

Requested: request can be found here

Word Count: ~5K

A/N: jeeeez. i got carried away with this one. i had so so so much fun writing this so i hope you enjoy it!! so sorry again for the wait but hopefully this makes up for some(?) of it? i also changed up some aspects of it from the request, so i hope that's ok!!! anyways i have a few hp requests sitting in my inbox and i wanna publish them in the next week or so, so be on the lookout :)

—

Jeremiah had always been a bit of a fan of ripping off band-aids. He liked the finality of it, the speed of it, the elated feeling that always enveloped him after the fact. He liked getting it done in one go and never thinking about it again. Whenever he watched Steven slowly peel his band-aids off his skin, he would cringe all over, wanting to shout at him to just be done with it.

He berated himself now, as he sat on your bed, when he couldn’t seem to take his own advice. He could never listen to his better senses when it came to you. No matter how hard he tried.

And he tried really, really hard.

He knew that he should just tell you. The confession had been boiling on his tongue for years now – after all, he had figured out the magnitude of his feelings for you when you two were only twelve years old.

His feelings, evidently, did not like the confinement either as they only seemed to grow in size over the years. It was not a mere twelve-year-old crush anymore, and he knew that. Perhaps that was why his tongue always collapsed at the weight of it, why he couldn’t vocalize it.

It was a bit ironic, really, how flirty he could be with everyone else and barely mean the sweet words tumbling out of his mouth but when it was you, he couldn’t verbalize even the most sincere, genuine feelings. His flirtatious jokes always seemed to fly right past your head as you shook them off to just be “Jere being Jere”.

“Alright, red or blue?” You questioned, holding both of your tops up. You raised your eyebrows at the golden-haired boy sprawled on your bed, his arms supporting his weight as he leaned back.

“Hmm,” he pretended to be deep in thought with a half-smile on his face. “You’re going to look smokin’ hot in either, so…” He finished with a soft shrug of his shoulders, trying his best to maintain his easy-going facade, even in this situation.

Even when he is helping you pick out something to wear to a date with someone other than him.

“Jere,” you said with a straight face to drive home the seriousness of this situation. This was not the time for jokes.

“Seriously, though,” he sat up as he ran a hand through his hair with nonchalance, “You could wear a potato sack to this thing and your date would still be drooling the entire time. In fact,” he stood up, pretending to walk towards the door, “I think Mom might have one in the pantry. I can go check–”

“Jer!” you grabbed his arm as you tried your best to smother a laugh at his antics and pushed him back on the bed. “Please. Which one?”

He pouted a little as he considered the options, pretending once again to be uber-serious about this. Without meaning to, he found his eyes leaving the red and blue tops you were holding up and wandering to your face. He took it in like he had all the time in the world.

“Red,” he said with an easy smile, which he was glad to see you return with the same ease. If this was all it took to make you smile like that, then he would be more than happy choosing your outfits for an eternity. “You look gorgeous in red. But, any guy would be lucky to see you in either.”

You grinned a little at his flattery and tried to ignore how his compliments made your stomach twist with something that you were all too familiar with when it came to Jeremiah and his sweet talk. “Well then, lucky you, you’ve won the lottery today. You’ve seen me in both.”

He chuckled as he shook his head slightly. “Yeah. Lucky me.”

And he tried his best to ignore the faint pang in his chest as he watched you turn away to face the mirror and fix your hair before going into the bathroom to change tops.

He watched you close the bathroom door and he chewed on his lip nervously – which was not something he normally did. Rip the band-aid off, he found himself thinking. Just tell her.

“[Y/N]?”

“Yeah?” Your muffled voice came from within the bathroom and Jeremiah had to lean against the bathroom door to be able to muster up the courage that he required at this moment.

“I just–” he began, looking down at his feet with one hand against the door and the other on his hip. “I just wanted you to know that…”

“What is it? Is Max here already?” You questioned and he stopped in his tracks when he heard the excitement in your voice.

He could never bring himself to admit it but some wicked, evil part of him wanted your date to go horribly. A small part of him even considered telling you to show him more options for your outfit tonight because he had simply changed his mind about the red, fully knowing that doing this would make you very late to the movie you’re supposed to leave for in a few minutes.

But he also knew, somewhere deep down, that those small, wicked parts of him could easily be triumphed by the larger part of him that just wanted you to be happy. And if someone else could do that for you, then he would let them. Every single time.

“No,” he shook his head and exhaled deeply. “No, I just hope you have fun tonight.”

You opened your door finally and stepped out with a small smile, wearing the red top that he insisted upon. “Thanks, Jere.”

“See?” he teased with a small smirk, “I told you red’s the move.” He winked playfully as he brought a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ears.

“Yeah, yeah,” you rolled your eyes and walked once again to your mirror, trying to fix hair that already looked perfect. “What would I do without your brilliant fashion advice?” Maybe it had simply been the frequency of his compliments or the flirty glint in his eye every time he said them, but you had long learned not to take any of what Jeremiah said to heart. He would compliment anything that breathed with the same sincerity.

Jeremiah watched you walk out that evening with a bitter taste in his mouth because you did look gorgeous in red. You looked drop-dead stunning.

And try as he might to tell you of that fact, you wouldn’t really believe it when it came from him. You’d only believe it when it came from someone else.

—

“I am not drunk!” You yelled with finality in your tone and a stance that conveyed utmost defiance.

Well, as defiant as you could possibly look when you were clearly swaying a little with a bottle in hand and slurring your words. You could barely keep your eyes open.

“Okay,” Conrad decided to humour you as he snatched your bottle out of your hands and replaced it with a cup of water. “Drink this anyway.”

“You’re no fun,” You tell Conrad with a pout and he rolls his eyes at you before continuing his deperate search for Jeremiah. All he found were more drunk teenagers, flashing lights and blaring speakers. “Party-pooper.” You accuse.

Conrad wasn’t sure when he had been put on babysitting duty but when he had seen you, drunk out of your mind, climb onto a table and start belting out Beyonce, he knew his help was needed. And though you normally got along with Conrad just fine, with him being just like a big brother to you, he knew that he needed to find Jeremiah to take you home. He was the designated driver, after all.

“Do you know where Jere is?”

“Debbie-downer.” You spat out to Conrad, who couldn’t care less about your conniving insults.

“Seriously, have you seen Jere?” He questioned again and pushed you to take a sip of your water.

“Conrad the killjoy,” you laughed at your own joke a little and Conrad sighed heavily, desperate for someone to take you off his hands.

“Killjoy is spelt with a K, you know.”

“Yeah, well, then so is Konrad.”

Jeremiah, who had been upstairs, knew at once something was wrong when he glanced at his phone and saw 6 missed calls from Conrad and a frantic text from Belly. As he made his way downstairs, he could see you standing with a pout on your face and your arms crossed like a child, with a very exasperated Conrad standing next to you. Jeremiah smiled a little at the sight of your ruffled hair and his brother’s tired look.

“What’s going on here?” He asked finally after reaching the bottom of the stairs and looping one of your arms around his neck to support you to keep you standing upright.

“Finally,” Conrad mumbled under his breath. “You should take her home. Be careful, though,” Conrad cast you a sarcastic look. “She might start spelling your name with a G.”

You stuck your tongue out at him and Conrad continued, “I’ll take a cab with Steven and Belly.”

“No, I’ll take a cab,” You interject pointedly, “You should really drive him home, Jere.”

“Alright, alright,” Jeremiah consoled and held back a snort at Conrad’s unamused expression, “I’ll drive you home first, okay? You’re my favourite out of the two of you, after all.”

As soon as you two stepped out of the house, the cold night air whipped your face and blew your hair back and you found yourself enjoying every second of it. You kept an arm looped around Jeremiah and raised the other one to cheer loudly. You felt warm and bubbly from the inside and your head was spinning in the best way possible. You never wanted this night to end.

“Shhh,” Jeremiah shushed you in between chuckles. “You’re going to wake the entire neighbourhood up.”

“Yeah, so?” You furrowed your eyebrows. “They should not be sleeping right now. There’s a party going on!”

Jeremiah looked at you with incredulous eyes and an amused expression on his face. He couldn’t remember the last time you had gotten this drunk. He couldn’t remember the last time he had gotten that drunk and he had some really wild stories up his sleeve. He smiled to himself as he looked down at the ground. You looked cute when you were so drunk that you had no filter. It was a nice change.

“Alright, come on,” he ushered you into the car when you finally reached it. “All arms and legs inside the vehicle, please.”

“Okay, but I’m not wearing a seatbelt,” you protested as you settled into the passenger seat. Your body relaxed instantly upon making contact with the comfortable seats of the Jeep and you struggled to keep your eyes open as sleep threatened to overcome your senses completely.

“Yes, you are,” Jeremiah countered instantly and grabbed the seat belt buckle. He leaned across your sprawled body in the passenger seat to fasten it and you suddenly could not ignore the frenzy of butterflies in your stomach. He was so close that you could feel his breath fanning across your neck and even in your drunk state, your cheeks burned at the proximity. He fastened the seatbelt with a click and straightened back out with an amused smile once again. “I see what you did there.” He smirked before shutting your car door.

You waited for him to get into the driver’s seat before pressing urgently with a furrow in your eyebrows, “What do you mean?”

“You really couldn’t have put it on by yourself?” He teased with his hands set on the steering wheel.

“Ugh, gross,” you groaned as you realized that you felt all warm and bubbly inside for an entirely different reason now. “I did not do that so you could do that.”

Jeremiah responded with a chuckle and a small ‘sure’, which made you eager to defend your side of the story even more.

“I’m not lying.”

“Admit it, I’m irresistible.” He mocked with an exaggerated hair flip.

“Seriously,” you clarified as you sat up. “Maybe I just wanted to smell your hair.”

Jeremiah’s howls of laughter at this innocent yet glaringly honest confession confused you to no end, as you squinted at him. You were still unsure of what was so funny about that fact. His hair did smell nice.

“Drunk you is really bad at flirting,” Jeremiah said with a playful lilt in his tone, which perfectly masked his true feelings at the moment. He wished, more than anything, that you would flirt with him for real. But he also knew that you didn’t see him that way, and maybe you never really would. It was cathartic in a way to tease you so relentlessly. It almost made it feel real to him.

“I’m not flirting,” you claimed once again. “And, you really shouldn’t be flirting with me either, you know.” You said offhandedly, not thinking much about what you were saying.

Jeremiah’s smile instantly dropped at your remark. “What do you mean?” he mustered up, already feeling horribly guilty. He braced himself for what he knew was to come – he was sure that you were about to tell him that your boyfriend had brought it up with you. Max probably felt threatened and –

“Gigi,” you said softly. “I saw you two go up into that room.” And it was true. You had seen them together and your heart had dropped. Despite the fact that you had your actual boyfriend beside you for most of the night, you couldn't help but feel betrayed at the sight of Jeremiah with someone else. You quickly pushed the feeling out of your head and grabbed the nearest drink, finding the only solace from your broken heart in your drunk state.

Jeremiah’s head was suddenly spinning as he clutched the steering wheel tighter and tried to take a quick look at you before setting his eyes back on the road. He tried to dismiss the thoughts in his brain that were ecstatic at the faint jealous tone in your sentence.

“No, no,” he shook his head. Jeremiah desperately tried to find the words to tell you that Gigi and him had only talked – how he had made it clear that he wasn’t looking for anything romantic with her. “Gigi and I–”

“It’s fine, Jere, really,” you affirmed as you tried to shoot him a small smile. “You don’t have to lie to me. I just… We’re both with different people now and you’re my best friend so maybe you and I should just… dial it back a little, I don’t know.”

Just as quickly as those ecstatic thoughts had rushed into his head, they now fled. It became clear to him now that this was about Max. You were not jealous. You probably didn’t care about him and Gigi at all. He tried to regain his composure as he cracked a small smile.

“Yeah,“ he agreed quietly. “Your boyfriend probably thinks I’m in love with you or something.” He tried to joke but the attempt was weak at best.

“Yeah,” you half-smiled in agreement. “Gigi probably thinks I’m in love with you.” You spared a glance at him for a moment too long, causing him to look back. You cleared your throat hurriedly, “Or something.”

Jeremiah focused on the road that stretched out in front of him as he willed himself not to look back at you. It would’ve been easy to rip off the band-aid then, to just blurt out his true feelings and leave you to deal with the aftermath. He knew it would’ve been easy but he also knew that it would’ve been incredibly selfish.

With a lapse in self-control, he risked a glance at you and found you sound asleep, with your eyes shut in what he could only imagine as blissful slumber. He smiled as he turned his eyes back on the road. He was glad that at least one of you two would be sleeping so soundly tonight.

—

The breakup had been surprisingly easy. The aftermath, however, had been the exact opposite.

When Max had dumped you two days before the deb ball, you hadn’t thought much of it. Your relationship was barely three weeks old and you were really only waiting for the shoe to drop. When it finally did, you felt almost relieved. You were practically yawning through Max’s “it’s not you, it’s me” routine.

That feeling of freedom and relief were quickly snatched from you when you realized just how bad Max’s timing was. With the deb ball two days away, you were left with no date and absolutely no prospects. Conrad was going with Belly already, Steven with Shayla and you didn’t need to ask Jere to know what he would say to being your escort. That guy had sworn off balls years ago.

“Maybe you could just, like, be a group of three with us,” suggested Belly with a hopeful smile plastered on her face. “Conrad wouldn’t mind… I don’t think.”

You gave her an unamused look as you buried your head in your pillows. “Do we know the same Conrad?”

“Fine, then what do you suggest?” Belly questioned as she flopped onto your bed as well. “You’re really going to go alone?”

“What choice do I have?”

“You could ask J–.”

“Absolutely not,” you countered right away. There was no way you were going to ask him, especially considering how you knew his answer already. No matter the reasons behind it, a rejection from him would still hurt.

“Why not?” Belly whined. “He’s perfect for you. I’m sure he can make an exception to his rule if you were to ask.”

You raised your head to squint at Belly. “Why would he make an exception for me?”

“You know why.”

“No, I do not.” You tried to ignore the burning in your cheeks once again.

“You’re so childish, [Y/N],” Belly sighed. “That guy’s been in love with you since you two were like toddlers.”

“That is simply not true,” you muttered, wishing that Belly would drop the subject altogether. “Next!” You announced only to be met with a groan from Belly.

After countless suggestions and exhausted minds, Belly suggested that you take the easy way out of this mess.

“Just call Max,” she whined, running a tired hand over her face. “Tell him he still has to take you to the ball and then you two can go your separate ways or whatever.”

And so, you had. You had called Max at the opportune hour of 2 AM and he had agreed before making sure that ‘there was absolutely no romantic subtext attached to this, right?’ You had scoffed at what he was trying to imply. As if.

It was that eventful night’s ingenious brainstorming which had landed you in this mess today.

The ball was about to start in five minutes and all you could do was stare at the curt text that Max had sent you a minute ago. You read over it again and again in feeble hopes that that would make it seem more insignificant – like if you read it enough times, it would somehow be less humiliating.

But the truth of the matter was that Max had bailed on you at the very last minute – literally – and your name was about to be announced, summoning you and your escort to the stage. You looked around desperately, in hopes that perhaps you could send someone else ahead of you or if worst comes to worst, slip out of the back door yourself but none of those options seemed particularly feasible. As you looked at the other side of the stage, where Max was supposed to be standing, you saw nothing but darkness.

“[Y/N] [Y/L/N],” the announcer called with his booming voice. “Daughter of…” It had suddenly become hard to breathe in your flowing dress and you were sure that your makeup had practically melted off your face by now. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath in. It’s fine, you told yourself, repeating it like a chant. I’m fine.

You took small steps forward, trying desperately to sync them with your breathing to avoid any disasters until you were standing on stage with a bouquet in your hand and no date by your side. You forced a smile on your face but it evidently did not look as convincing as you wanted it to as a few murmurs broke out amongst the crowd. You scanned the crowd until your eyes landed on your table, with a concerned looking Susannah and a horrified looking Laurel. Your own mother’s expression was a mixture of both.

“[Y/N] attends…” even the announcer trailed off as he peered behind the stage to check where your escort had gone.

“Sorry!” Jeremiah appeared suddenly at your side, announcing his apology to the whole crowd. “I had to use the bathroom. Had too much to drink.” He smiled apologetically to the announcer before turning to you to send you a wink. He flashed one of his dashing smiles and offered you his arm before turning back to the crowd to pose for photos. You blinked a few times to make sure you weren’t dreaming.

“What are you doing?” you whispered to him as quietly as you could manage. You were well acquainted with Jere’s ‘no balls’ policy. Clearly, everyone else was too, as the murmurs in the crowd did not die down as he appeared by your side on the stage. They only seemed to grow, with some surprised and others outraged.

“Being your knight in shining armour, what do you think I’m doing?” he whispered back with a smug smile. He was seriously considering sending Max a gift hamper for letting him have this opportunity.

“Jere,” you began again. “You really don’t have to. Seriously, I’m fi–”

“Shhh,” he cut you off, gently tapping your arm. “Face the front and let everyone see how jaw-droppingly beautiful you look in white.”

“I thought red was ‘the move’ on me?” You retorted with a small smile. This guy really was an angel sent from above.

“You could wear anything and it would be ‘the move’,” he told you matter-of-factly with a small smirk as he kept facing the cameras. “Although…”

“What?”

“I’m sure you could wear nothing and it would still be ‘the move’.”

“Shut up!” You reprimanded with a shocked laugh. You were used to his flirting but he had never been quite as forward before. Jeremiah stifled a few chuckles as cameras kept flashing. Finally, the announcer gestured for you two to walk forward to stand on the dance floor as the last few debutantes got their time on the stage.

You took your place standing beside Belly and Conrad and couldn’t help but shake your head as Belly turned to smile at you. Her grin was so big you feared it would split her face in half.

“Told you he’d make an exception,” she mouthed slowly, making sure that you understood each word she’s intending for you. Conrad smirked silently, watching the two of you standing together. Even Steven waved to grab your attention to wriggle his eyebrows at you suggestively. You rolled your eyes at them all.

“What’s Belly saying?” Jeremiah peered from behind you at the smiling girl.

“Nothing,” you cleared your throat. “She’s just surprised you’re doing this. With your infamous ‘no balls’ policy and all.”

Jeremiah let out a small ‘ah’ as he nodded in understanding with a small smile on his face.

“So,” you pressed on with raised eyebrows. “Why are you doing this?” You bid your time with bated breaths as you waited for his answer to come. You really hoped it was the answer you wanted to hear.

“Because I look ridiculously handsome in a tux,” he joked half-heartedly. A storm was raging within him and he had no idea what answer to give you.

“No other reason?” you questioned hesitantly.

Jeremiah knew that this was as good of a time as any. He could finally just tell you. He could rip the band-aid off and never look back again. Max was out of the picture now, clearly, as he abandoned you tonight. Gigi had never been in the picture at all. He had no reasons to keep the truth from you anymore. He had always stopped himself in the past with your happiness in mind. But now, standing beside you and remembering the elated smile that you had given him when he ran onto the stage to be beside you, he was sure that he could make you happy.

He knew he would choose your happiness every single time. Only this time, he’s choosing his own too.

“And, because,” he started with a shaky breath that seemed too uncharacteristic of him. His teasing demeanour had dropped altogether. “I just… Shit. I want you to know that–”

“Alright, ladies and gentlemen,” the announcer boomed, causing everyone to turn back to look at him.

You kept your eyes on Jere as you pressed on. “Know what?”

“I…”

“Can all escorts make their way to the dance floor, please?”

Jeremiah sighed heavily as he realized he had run out of time. “I’ll tell you later, okay?” He squeezed your hand and pressed a dramatic kiss to it. “For now, prepare to be amazed by my dancing skills.”

Except, there was no ‘later’ that night. Jeremiah had no idea how quickly the night would turn sour for him, all because of a simple email that he wasn’t meant to see.

—

Jeremiah loved the beach. He wasn’t sure when the obsession with the feel of the sand running through his fingers or the sound of the tumultuous waves had started but his favourite memories of his childhood always included beaches.

They also always included his mom.

In his mind’s eye, he could see countless times when Susannah had been lounging on a chair with a large sun hat draping her eyes and the sun beating down on her while he and Conrad surfed in the water. He remembered how Susannah used to seat him on her lap, while Conrad ran around chasing seagulls, claiming he was ‘far too old to sit on laps’.

“Your eyes remind me of the ocean, Jere,” Susannah would tell him as she held the little boy in her arms. “They’re so blue. So pretty.” He would smile at her mother’s affection and bat his eyes at her dramatically, which always made her erupt into giggles.

He couldn’t remember when these frequent trips to the beach with his mom had become so rare. As he sat on the sand now, looking out into the ocean, he couldn’t help but smile sadly. He had no idea if he could have another beach trip with her. He had no idea how much time he would be able to have with her at all.

The sky was painted a somber gray as a storm threatened to rage in the distance. He could feel a few drops on his skin as he took the ocean in. Early mornings at the beach always held a different type of allure for him.

“Hey,” you tapped his shoulder gently, careful not to startle him.

He turned around at once, with a smile on his face. Your heart broke a little at the sight. Jeremiah had always presented himself as an easy-going guy. He was cheerful at all times, always concerned with bringing a genuine smile to others’ faces before worrying about the genuinity of his own emotions.

“Hey,” he smiled but his eyes didn’t exactly translate. They didn't gleam like they usually did.

“How are you?” you asked hesitantly as you took a seat beside him, nudging his shoulder lightly. “How are you, really?”

“Fine, I guess,” he said with a gulp and a bitter smile. Both of you sat in silence for a while as the only sounds heard were the waves in the distance.

“She loves you a lot, you know,” Jeremiah broke the silence, turning to look at you. He held your eyes as he continued. “She never stops talking about you." He shook his head fondly. "Especially when I’m there.”

You give him a small smile before furrowing your eyebrows playfully. “Why ‘especially when you’re there’?”

“She always wanted us to be together,” Jere said without thinking about it too much. He didn’t risk a glance at you as he continued as honestly as he possibly could. “I think she’s been planning our wedding ever since I gave you that rose to put in your hair when we were, like, ten years old.” He laughed softly at the thought.

“Really?” You asked incredulously as heat started creeping up your neck. Jeremiah couldn’t help but smirk at you as he could see how flustered you grew with every second.

And that gave him the strength to finally rip the band-aid off.

“Yeah,” he nodded once as he turned away to look at the water again. “I’ve been planning our wedding for much longer, though.”

You smiled at his flirting as you shook your head but when you looked at his face, your smile dropped completely. He held your eyes and your breath hitched in your throat as you noticed how devoid of playfulness they were. You gulped as you opened your mouth to say something but couldn’t find anything. You were, quite literally, speechless.

“I think I knew it at six years old,” Jeremiah continued quietly as he kept his eyes on you. It was too late to turn back. No matter the outcome, he had to rip it off. “It was pretty silly then. I was already convinced I was your boyfriend.” He smiled at the memory. “And then at twelve, when we were watching the Notebook with Mom and Laurel and your mom, I remember peeking over at you and just knowing. I knew that you were my Allie. If I had to write letters to some girl for 365 days in a row, it would be you. Every single time. If I had to hang off a ferris wheel to get your attention, I would do that, too. And I hate ferris wheels.” He deadpanned in hopes of earning a laugh from you but you sat there, dumbfounded.

“Wh–?” You tried to get out but Jeremiah stopped you. He needed to get all of this out. He took your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before running his thumb across it.

“I knew that I was a total goner, though, when other guys started getting your attention and I still didn’t say anything,” he continued honestly. “I couldn’t bring myself to. I wanted you so, so bad but most of all, I just wanted you to be happy. And if Max made you happy or that creepy guy from the gas station that you dated for like four hours made you happy, then I would let them. I still just want you to be happy. And I get it if you don’t like me in that way–” he tried to clarify before you cut him off.

“You make me happy, Jere,” you managed to get out with utmost sincerity. It felt as if your heart was about to burst. “You’ve always made me the happiest. Not Max and definitely not the creepy gas station guy.”

“Yeah?” He asked as his heart skipped a beat.

“Yeah,” you confirmed with a nod as your cheeks hurt from smiling so wide. Jeremiah’s eyes scanned your face then, just as he had always scanned your face – with love, with patience. This time, though, he was pleased to see you scan his face the same way. And none of you were trying to hide it anymore. The band-aid had finally come off.

“Do I have permission to kiss the bride, then?” he asked quietly as his eyes landed on your lips, both of you leaning towards each other.

“Depends,” you smirked. “I need to see the wedding plans first. I don’t trust any plans that you’ve made.” Jeremiah chuckled and his breath fanned across your face. “Especially if they were made by six-year-old you.”

“You sure?” he teased. “A LEGO wedding sounds pretty nice. Six-year-old me had some great ideas.”

“Shut up,” you laughed against his lips before finally leaning over to close the space.

It was hard to think as your lips met his pillow-soft ones. He kissed you senseless as he brought a soft hand to your jaw to pull you impossibly closer. He tasted so incredibly sweet and he smelled of the ocean and mint and something so indescribably Jere – so familiar yet so exhilarating. Your hands found the hair at the nape of his neck and you tugged them absentmindedly, making Jeremiah smirk into the kiss. It would be an understatement to say this was better than he could ever imagine in his dreams. It was like a shot of adrenaline for him to be so close to you, and he found himself wondering how he survived his whole life without it before.

You pulled away when you felt the first drop of rain land on your face and he looked up as he smiled. Of course it had started to rain. How very the Notebook of the universe. He looked back down to you and smirked as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

“By the way,” you smiled at him. “I knew you were my Noah, too. If there was one guy I had to keep coming back to, no matter what, it would be you. Always.”

He exhaled with relief and happiness and excitement and – quite possibly every emotion he could feel at that moment. “It’s only fitting for us to recreate the rain scene, then,” he flashed a smile as he tried to calm his thumping heart, adding a wink for good measure.

You told him to shut up for the second time that day and he dutifully obeyed. He wasn’t that interested in talking, anyway.

And, Jeremiah knew the next few months were going to be difficult. But for a moment, here with you, everything seemed alright. And he knew that it eventually would be, as long as he has you by his side.

2K notes · View notes

thebelugawhalefriend · 4 months

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Giyuu x Reader Headcanons (Romantic)

CW: GN reader, Fluff!

Note: Really hoping this one stuck close to his character! I haven't rewatched earlier seasons so I may get an error or two mixed up! Also, changing up my page aesthetics because I'm running out of doves to use for gifs,,

This man will NOT know what to do with a relationship at first. He'll have to ask someone for any kind of guidance for how to properly court someone (it becomes even harder if you happen to be a guy, given that gay relationships are probably not all that discussed)

Once he's done his own research, he FINALLY works up the nerve to make his passion known to you. While you've always been his little piece of sunshine as a friend, his different kind of stoic silence makes you question if he's angered towards you at first. It's not like his usual yet casual silence- but all was quelled when he handed you a small box and placed it in your hands. A beautiful necklace adorned with a kitten charm, a metaphorical piece meant to ward off spirits that mean harm.

He wouldn't go as far as to say you both were dating yet. Hell, if you didn't like him or his gifts, you were more than free to choose what your heart desired.

And yet... You loved him. More than enough to not only accept his gifts, but offer your own!

On days where he was off on a mission, you would work tirelessly for a handmade craft for him. You may not be well off, but you'll find your way to give him something nice!

A local seamstress even offered to help you craft what you'd like, given her talent in her artistic field. Your rudimentary projects mostly looked... Well, simple, but Giyuu is more than touched that your heart yearned to make him happy as does his.

His main love language is physical affection when you both are completely alone. Giyuu never truly expressed to friends how starved he is for human contact, but now? Now he had the perfect partner to rest on and comfort. Even find comfort in.

Total opposite in public. People will think you're both complete strangers if they don't see your hands held together. If you're the mischievous type, a kiss to his cheek while others watch will fluster him easily...

Don't expect dating to last too long, he's more than direct about what he wants. Whatever future you imagine for yourself, he wants to be by your side. Even asking your family for your hand in marriage less than a year into your little cute coupleship!

He'll overdress EVERYWHERE you two go to spend time together. That seamstress? She'll pamper him like a mom and gush about how handsome of a boy he is. Awww, look at him! Red as a berry and handsome as a button ^^

Soft kisses. All day every day. This man is so so soft, he'll worry if he accidentally hurts you... Even if it was over the smallest of hugs.

#giyuu x reader #giyuu tomioka #kny giyuu #demon slayer giyuu #kny tomioka #demon slayer tomioka #tomioka giyu x reader #tomioka x reader #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer imagines #demon slayer

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leossmoonn · 1 year

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“Just” Sex III

masterlist

pairing - steve harrington x fem!reader

type - fluff, angst, smut, 16+

summary - friends with benefits used to be fun for you and steve, until staying one night leads to months of being in love

warnings / includes - language, fighting, crying, suggestive, sex: intercourse (protected), oral (both receiving and giving at times), fingering & hj, changes pov, natural time skips, during s1

————

*gif isn’t mine*

“It was mortifying! I have never seen an uglier dick in my entire life!” you howl, throwing your head back as you laugh.

Tears stream down Steve’s face as he laughs. He takes his hand off the wheel, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “Did you say that to him?”

Your laughter falters and you shake your head. “No, unfortunately.”

“Did you tell Carol that?”

“Yes, and she didn’t talk to me for a week.”

“Maybe you should insult Tommy again, then,” Steve suggests.

You sigh with a smile, leaning back in your seat. “That’s a great idea. Hopefully my next insult will make her never talk to me again.”

Steve laughs breathily, relaxing behind the wheel. He comes to a stoplight, taking a moment to glance at you. You look so pretty sitting in his passenger seat. The red and green traffic lights create stripes over your body. Your eyes are shining so bright, brighter than he’s ever seen. And you have the same smile on your face you’ve had for the whole night. You look happy. Happier than you’ve looked in a while.

He slowly presses on the gas once the light turns green. Comfortable silence overtakes you two. It feels nice.

Dinner ended up being great. You underestimated how much fun you would have fun with Steve while not having sex. The little sleepover you two had was a precursor, but it was only for a couple hours before you two felt asleep, and there were moments where it got hot and heavy. Tonight was a totally knew experience.

You two were on your best behaviors. Totally innocent. It was natural. You didn’t feel like you had to fake anything. You feel like you could do this with him forever.

Steve pulls into your driveway, parking the car and turning to you. He looks bittersweet.

“I had a great time tonight,” he says. “Me, too,” you nod with a grin. “We should do this again.”

Steve’s eyes widen in surprise. You laugh in reply, knowing he would be shocked.

“Totally,” he nods ecstatically. You giggle softly, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Steve.”

“See you. Have a good night.”

Your stomach flips as you watch his eyes flutter to your lips. You’ve kissed him a million times, but this time feels different. More sentimental and pure. You have to remind yourself you two are just friends with many, many benefits, and you intend to keep it that way.

You decide instead of kissing his lips, to kiss his cheek. He deserves a kiss for being a gentleman tonight, just not one that will spark something.

He appreciates the peck on his cheek, still smiling from ear-to-ear as if you’ve actually kissed him. He has a sparkle in his eye, the same sparkle that tells you he’s being mischievous or he’s hiding something. You let it go for tonight. You don’t want to ruin the perfect day you’ve had.

“Have a good night, too. Drive safe, Steve.” You get out of the car, walking to your house with a big smile on your face. You still feel giddy and energetic as if you were still at dinner with him. You hope this feeling will transfer to tomorrow and the next day and the next week.

“Hi, honey! How was dinner?” your mom asks.

“It was good,” you smile. Your mom glances to your dad with a little smirk.

“So, are you two dating yet?” she asks. “No,” you say curtly.

“You sure? You both have been hanging out a lot recently.”

“I’m sure, Mom. We’re just friends. Best friends.”

“Okay,” your mom hums. “How about we have him over for dinner, then? As a friend.”

You roll your eyes. This is your mom’s game: making everything no obvious to the point where it is.

“He’s always super busy. He won’t be able to make it.”

“He’s not too busy to spend all his time with you,” your dad remarks.

You shoot him a glare, to which he returns a smile. “He has like, basketball practice and homework.”

“I heard Steve Harrington doesn’t do homework,” your dad snickers.

“Where did you hear that?” your eyes widen. He shrugs, not answering you and continuing to read his book.

“If you really dont want us to meet him, that’s fine. We respect your decision, but we would also love to meet the boy you’ve been hanging around with so much,” your mom says.

You sigh softly. You know your mom worries about you whenever you hang out with people, especially boys. You’ve always been very communicative with them, which allows them to trust you more. But they’ve never met Steve and you know for a fact your parents are dying to. Your mom is always asking about him and what he likes, where he wants to go to college, if you like him. She’s obviously rooting for you two, and although it’s cute, you wish she would stop. You don’t have the heart to tell her to stop, though. Not when there’s a small part of you that’s rooting for you two now.

“I’ll ask him,” you say. You leave it at that, climbing up the stairs and locking yourself in your room.

You approach Steve anxiously. You’re happy to see him. You haven’t for the whole weekend. He chose to stay at home and help his mom around the house since his dad was gone for a business trip.

“Hey!” Steve grins at you. You catch his eyes checking you out before landing back onto your face.

“Hi. Can I ask you something?” you ask.

“Yeah, sure,” he nods. His heart jolts as his mind races with all the possibilities of what you’re question could be. Worst scenario would be you wanting to never see him again. Best scenario would be anything but the worst.

“Would you like to come over for dinner with my family and I? My mom was asking after you took me back home Friday. You totally can say no. They’re just being annoying because they’ve never met you before.”

His face light up at once and he nods excitedly. “I’d love to have dinner with your parents. Yeah, a-absolutely.”

You stop rambling, staring at him. He looks so eager and excited now. He’s smiling to where almost all teeth are showing. His eyes are bright against the dim school hallway lights. He’s practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. His feelings are always so contagious. You can’t help but feel the same to a certain degree.

“Okay, cool. Does tomorrow work for you?” you suggest. “6 pm?”

“Yep. I’ll be there. Do I need to wear anything special? Like a suit?”

You giggle at his efforts. “No. What you wear normally is fine.”

“Okay,” he nods. “I gotta go,” he says as the warning bell for first period rings. “But I’ll see you at lunch.”

“Yep. Definitely,” you reply.

The next night, you’re running around your mom and changing clothes. You ended up hating your outfit you originally wore. You picked out a long-sleeve striped shirt with a jean overall dress. The moment you were going to walk down the stairs, your brain decided to turn on you and all your anxieties surfaced.

Now you’re in a dress that looks like you’re going to a business meeting. You groan in frustration, hands balling up. You want to hit your mirror, break your reflection so you can’t see yourself at all.

A knock on your door sounds. You rush to it, locking your door. “Yeah? Who is it?”

“It’s me, sweetie. Are you okay?” your dad asks.

“Yeah,” you sigh. “Just to let you know, Steve is here already,” he says.

“Great,” you click your tongue. “He’s kind of a dud. Did you know?” You can hear your dad’s smirk in his voice.

You scoff with a small smile. “Dad! Don’t be rude.”

“Just sayin’. Are you almost ready?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Don’t stress out to much. I can tell he really likes you.”

You smile at his assurance. You feel a tiny bit more relaxed. If your dad says that, it must be true, right?

“I’ll be down in a couple of minutes,” you say.

“Okay, sounds good. Make sure it is a couple minutes. Your brother is about to eat all the food.” You hear his footsteps lull behind your door.

You take off your dress, choosing your high-waisted acid-wash jeans and plain black turtle neck. You tuck the shirt into your pants, pulling up your sleeves so you can touch up your makeup and put on your accessories.

You curl your lashes again now that they’re dry. You re-swipe your lipstick that’s a dark-wine. You clasp a gold necklace on and stick in little hoops. You spray your perfume into the air, closing your eyes and walking into it. You slip on a pair of socks that happen to be neon pink, but you couldn’t care less. No one is going to obsess over your feet, right?

You take a deep breath as you open your door. You hear your mom laughing like a hyena, the embarrassment settling in. You walk down the stairs, turning the corner. It’s a weird sight. Steve stands at the dinner table next to your little brother, helping your mom set the silverware. He’s talking to your dad about some sci-fi stuff.

He actually doesn’t look out of place. In fact, he looks so normal, like it’s meant to be like this. The more you stare, the more natural it feels for him to be so close with your family, to be in your house.

“There’s the girl of the hour!” your mom grins.

Steve looks up from the table. At first, he peers up at you. Then he lifts his head up all the way, straightening his back. His eyes are wide, jaw slack just like the night you wore his clothing. You feel vulnerable again, but it’s not an uncomfortable feeling like it was then. You smile bashfully, clasping your hands behind your back.

“Here, I’ll finish up.” Your mom grabs the silverware from him, ushering him forward.

He walks up to you, eyes floating to every inch of you. “You look… great.” His voice is breathy and soft, like he’s just ran a mile.

Your eyes scan him. He looks so put-together tonight. He’s wearing a pair of khakis with a baby pink polo. His collar is perfectly folded, the bottom of his shirt tucked into his pants that are held up by a belt. His hair is combed over, a few fly-always resting on his forehead.

“So you do. Is that a new shirt?” you ask. “Yeah, it is,” he blushes. “I didn’t like what I had in my closest. I wanted to look my best for tonight.”

Your heart warms and your eyes soften. You awe silently. “That’s so nice, Steve.”

“Anything for you,” he says, his eyes boring into yours. “A-And your family, of course.”

You giggle softly, “right. Well, let’s go and eat. Are you hungry?”

He smirks a little, now looking you up and down suggestively. “Starving.”

You slap his chest, shooting him a glare while you try to suppress a smile.

You two walk into the kitchen, your mom stopping you.

“Let me take a picture of you two!”

You frown, “that’s unnecessary.”

“I think it’s a great idea,” Steve states. “I hate you,” you mutter.

“No, you love me,” he smirks.

You heart stops for a second. You stare at him, every word from your brain escaping you. His eyes are wide and he looks regretful. He obviously didn’t mean to say that.

You’re brought back to reality when your mom starts talking again. You feel like you have to say something.

“You wish.”

He forces a laugh, all the air exiting his lungs. He does wish, actually.

You both smile for your mom, having to try a little too hard to look happy now.

“You two are so cute. Steve, would you like a copy of these?” your mom asks.

“Uh, yeah. Definitely,” he replies.

You both walk to the table. You’re sitting across from each other, avoiding eye contact.

“So, Steve, do you have any siblings?” your dad questions.

“Nope, but I wish I did.”

You take a bite of your mashed potatoes, taking a drink of water after. You listen to your parents talk to Steve. It sounds like their on a game show. Asking him question after question, acting like there’s some sort of reward if he answers right. You wonder if you think the reward would be dating you. That’s probably what your dad thinks. Your mom would be happy no matter what if two started dating.

“So, how did you two meet?” your mom asks.

“At school.” you say it likes it’s the most obvious thing. “I want specifics, honey.” She looks to Steve for an answer.

“Well, we had mutual friends. You know Tina, right?” Steve asks.

“Yes. She’s a nice girl,” your mom nods. “Yeah, well, Tina invited Y/n to a party. I was invited by Tina’s friend’s boyfriend, Tommy. We both started talking and hit it off,” Steve explains.

You want to scoff and snort, but you keep your mouth silent. You try to have no reaction at all. Not one that will tell your parents that’s not exactly the truth.

You two did meet at a party. It was Tina’s party and Tommy did invite Steve. You two did start talking. You two danced, putting your hands all over each other. Steve had leaned down to whisper in your ear. He told you how beautiful you looked. That led you two to escape to Tina’s parents bedroom where you both had the best sex of your lives.

“Y/n, what’re you smiling about?” your dad asks.

You look up from your plate, eyes meeting Steve who has a knowing smirk on his face, then looking at your parents.

“Oh, nothing,” you answer.

You’re lucky your parents are so wrapped up in Steve, they leave it at that.

Steve’s foot brushes up your leg, slithering up your jeans. You swat it away, giving him a dirty look. He does this smirk where half of his mouth goes up. It makes all the girls go crazy. You included.

You scoot up in your seat, crossing your legs. Steve brows raise, like he’s challenging you. You stick you nose up, turning your face away and ignoring him.

The rest of the dinner couldn’t have gone better. Your parents are on a first-name basis with Steve. Before you walked Steve to his car, your mom asked him to come over again. You couldn’t have asked for a better result of Steve meeting your parents.

“You need to convince your mom to give me that roast beef recipe,” Steve says.

You chuckle, “I’ll see what I can do. I’m glad you had a good time.”

“I had a great time. Your parents are very welcoming. I was nervous, honestly,” he admits. You tilt your head to the side, your body following in suit. “Really, why?”

He shrugs, becoming shy. “It’s always nerve-racking meeting a girl’s parents.”

“Mmm, I bet. Especially when it’s the girl you exclusively have sex with,” you tease.

“Yep. Only in these situations I’m nervous.” He smiles a little, leaning against his car. He looks so hot in the street lights. They’re illuminating half of his face. His lips are pink and glistening with spit as he just licked them. His hands are stuffed in his jacket pockets. His pants are tight around his waist, shirt now untucked. You’re sure if he reached up, you would be able to see his happy trail.

The air between you two is tense. You feel hot without even touching him. His eyes burn a trial into your body as he traces it. You open your mouth, vapor coming out as your exhale. His eyes are trained on your lips now. You feel a gravitational pull towards him. This time, you don’t pull away.

You lean in, pressing your lips to his softly. You kiss him slowly, savoring how it feels. His fit yours perfectly. That’s part of why you love kissing him. The other part is how it makes you feel.

His hands find your waist and he pulls you closer. You kiss each other faster now. You’re panting into each other’s mouth, teeth clashing and tongues meeting. You find his car keys in his jacket, unlocking his car and swinging the door open. You push him into the backseat, climbing on top of him.

“What about your parents?” Steve asks. You look over your shoulder, seeing their bedroom light turned off. “They’re going to bed now. They don’t care.”

Steve smiles and nods. “Okay.”

You shut the door and Steve sits against the middle seat. He untucks your turtle neck, pulling it over your head. His eyes dance around your boobs, hands undoing your bra and cupping your tits. He begins to kiss your neck while pinching your nipples.

“You looked so pretty at dinner,” he whispers, his teeth nipping at your skin.

“Thank you,” you moan. You begin to roll your hips against his, your clit catching on his clothed boner. Your hands run through his hair, pulling at the nape of his neck.

“You look so pretty now,” he speaks again, sucking on the junction of your shoulder and neck. He licks a trail down to the valley of your breasts. You look down at him, your eyes boring into his. “So do you,” you speak.

You feel his neck get hot under your skin. He dives his head down and sucks on your boobs, pushing them together and fondling them. He groans against your skin as you grind against him.

You take off his shirt, your hands feeling over his chest. You begin to scoot off his lap, finding every mole on his skin and kissing them. You undo his belt buckle and pants. He helps you take them off, sliding them down until they pool at his ankles. You take off your own jeans, both of you laughing as you find it hard to take off your jeans in a car sitting the way you are.

You flip to the seat next to him, finally being able to slide them off. Before you can get back on his lap, he grabs your waist, placing his hand on your thigh. The pads of his fingers tease up your thigh. You begin to whine, needing him more and more.

“Steve, please,” you beg. “Please what, baby?” he breathes out.

You’re becoming to desperate. You grab his fingers, pushing your panties to the side. You place his first finger against your clit, sighing in relief. He captures your lips in a wet and hot kiss while he rubs your clit. He slips his finger down to your slit, wetting his finger before returning to your clit. With his other hand, he enters you.

“So wet,” he comments against your lips. “Wonder why,” you remark.

He smiles while kissing you. You grab onto his hair, squirming under him. “Fuck, Steve,” you pant. Your eyes roll to the back of your head with the combination of him rubbing your clit and his fingers hitting your g-spot. Before you know it, you’re about to come.

“Steve, Steve, Steve,” you rush out. Your thighs clamp against his hands.

He pulls his head away from your lips, wanting to watch you come. He’s mesmerized by the way your brows knit together. Your mouth stays open, drool coming out the corner. Your chest is heaving, breathy moans leaving your throat. His cock strains against his boxers as you come.

He slows his movements, eventually coming to a halt. You let out a satisfied sigh, giving him a smile.

“Was that good?” he asks. “Yes,” you nod. “I can think of something better, though.”

You take your underwear off, leaving you naked. Steve loves the sight. Your body has always been so beautiful to him. He loves every curve, every scar, your stretch marks, the softness of your thighs and stomach. He loves the way your body feels against his. He loves the way you take him so well. He loves the way you say his name. He loves your laugh. He loves the way you look at him, and the smile you have when you’re annoyed at him. He loves your banter. He loves how you try to be kind to everyone, even Carol. He loves how smart you and the way you think. He loves the way you make him feel: safe and warm and loved.

Before he can stop himself, he whispers. “I love you.”

You don’t know if you’ve heard him correctly. Your heart jolts at what he could’ve said. You give him a weird look. “What did you say?”

“Nothing, nothing. Are you ready?” he asks. He pushes his boxers down, his dick standing tall and hard.

You nod move on from your thoughts, grabbing a condom from the package he keeps in his glove box. He slips it on, making sure it’s secure before you start. You put your hands on his shoulders, biting your lip as you sink down on him.

“Feels so good, Y/n,” he grunts. You moan in reply, getting halfway before pulling off again. You move up and down halfway before finally bottoming out. His girth stretches you out perfectly. The tip of his dick brushes up against your g-spot. You begin to bounce, the friction causing Steve to sweat and grab at your ass.

“Shit, baby. Just like that, yeah. You’re doing so good, taking me so well,” he rambles.

You watch as his eyes screw shut, a crease forming between his brows. His top lip opens up to where you can see the sides of his gums and his pearly whites. His nails dig into the curve of your ass as your nails dig into his shoulder blades.

After a couple of minutes Steve is close. He looks down at you, loving to see your body on his. He always does this when he’s about to come. You don’t know why, but you only assume your body turns him on. And that’s part of it. But his secret is that it turns him on more than anything knowing it’s you he’s having sex with. Seeing you and touching you gets him going the most. Tonight is no exception.

You reach a hand down, beginning to rub your clit. He swears under his breath as he watches you touch himself, his dick twitching inside of you. Your head lolls back, your eyes rolling.

“Steve, I-I’m gonna. Ah, oh,” you pant. You squeeze around him, one last thought coming to head before you release. I love you.

————

Part Four coming soon!

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julieloves074 · 2 years

Text

Crumbling (Conrad Fisher x Y/n)

Summary: Everything falls apart in the first two days of summer, Y/n doesn’t know how to handle it, she’s glad Conrad is there to save her.

Warnings: Swearing, divorce, cheating, cancer, drinking, kissing

Words: 6.3K

(Not my GIF :) )

Having a beach house next door to the Fisher’s was never boring, Susannah was really close with my parents and so when I was one they decided to cut out an opening between our two gardens… still not entirely sure if that’s legal or not but it never hurt anyone. I was sure this year was going to be no different from the rest, the boys and their mom would arrive first, on the same day as us, then a couple of days later the Conklins would join the party and we would have a huge garden gathering with a barbeque.

Expect that wasn’t exactly what happened, the day the boys and Susannah arrived there was a puzzle piece out of place. My mother and I had gone over to their home that afternoon when they settled in, my dad said he needed to go run some errands, not that there was anything wrong with that.

The second my mother opened their back door, yes we had gone in through the garden secret entrance- we always did, Jeremiah had rushed in as if called on command. A smile spread over my face and I opened my arms, but it wasn’t me who he ran to, he embraced my mother first, she burst into laughter and so did Susannah I stood in fake offence.

“Come on y/n/n you can’t be offended it’s m/n” he said letting her go smiling at me with his goofy grin.

“Yeah whatever, just come here!” I said in excitement, his head turned slightly to the side and his smirk grew as he took all of me in, his eyes wandered down my body and back to my eyes, he was centimetres away when Susannah brushed passed him and pulled me into her arms, this time the curly blonde looked offended.

“Come on Jeremiah, it’s Susannah” I said with a laughter, “Don’t like the tables turning huh?” I teased.

“Wow mom, wow,” he said in a fake sarcastic tone.

“What? I had to hug my adoptive daughter!” That made my heart skipped beat, I knew Susannah always wanted a daughter, even though she loved her boys which mother didn’t want a daughter. I remember her telling me how she was so happy that Jeremiah and I had only been born a few months apart, that she felt complete having her two boys, Steven and I, then Belly was born too and what’s then she said everything was truly complete.

Susannah was a caring woman and I’m pretty sure she would love to have a whole nursey of children under her care at all times, but I’m glad it’s the five of us, just the way it had been since I could remember.

“Uh, sorry Susannah could I talk to you? About that thing…” my mother’s sombre tone did not go missed neither by me or Jeremiah who looked at me with a questioning look, I could only shrug my shoulders.

Susannah let go of me “You guys decide what we’re having for food tonight, you’re staying over right y/n/n?”

“As always, how could I say no to you Susannah?”

“You couldn’t” she shone her pearly white teeth in accomplishment, my mother gave her a thankful look before they left the room. Finally, only then did Jeremiah run over to me and pick me up into an embrace, spinning me around and around the kitchen. It was nice being the same age as Jeremiah, made us closer in a way.

“Where’s Connie?” I finally got the courage to ask after he put me back down on the floor, I couldn’t believe that he didn’t come to say hello, I thought the last day of last summer had meant something to him… Yes I know he didn’t call or text once but I still kept my hopes up, all in vain seemingly.

“He’s upstairs moping around his room,” he said trying to brush off the subject, “So the bonfire on Saturday you are going right? I know it’s usually our barbeque night but I’m sure the mothers won’t mind us slipping away after the food,” he explained and started putting a few more groceries in the cupboards.

“What’s so wrong with Conard that he’s moping around?” I asked, my heart took and extra beat when I said the boy’s name, my heart always did do that for as long as I can remember, even more now after last summer…

Jeremiah sighed before answering, “I have no idea, he’s been really off with everyone for a while now, mom thinks it’s because of Aubrey, but I’m not sure,”

“Aubrey?” I kept my voice on a still level, Jeremiah turned around to face me with one eyebrow lifted.

“Yeah, his girlfriend… Well ex, uh hey could you pass me those?” he asked pointing to the six boxes of cereal on the dining room table, those would be gone in four days’ time, Susannah swears that cereal is our lot’s drug.

A thought of Conrad kissing and holding some girl rushed through the forefront of my mind, “I didn’t realise Conrad had a girlfriend” I said passing him one box at a time.

“Yeah, they got pretty serious pretty quickly, spending weekends at each other’s houses, he took her here once too, a few weeks ago right before they broke up,” he said. I was trying to remain calm but it felt like someone had grabbed my heart, crushed in with their bare hands and threw it out on an empty road at midnight.

I wondered whether he took her to that spot he took me when we… “Y/n! Snap out of it and pass me that last box!” he pushed my shoulder gently and but his attempt at playfulness didn’t lift my spirit very much. Still, I took a deep breath and pushed the thoughts away, even though it wasn’t what I wanted this laid out the start of the summer, I had hopes that maybe Conrad and I would work something out but now that was out the window I could start afresh this summer.

“You know, about that bonfire-“

“Yeah?” he turned to face me again with a hopeful smile and excited sparkling eyes.

“Fuck it, lets do it! We’re 17 the mothers won’t mind if it’s after dinner,” I shrugged my shoulders and Jeremiah took my hands and began dancing around the kitchen and into the hallway.

“I knew I could count on you!” he exclaimed, I was so dizzy and laughing so loud that my ears were pulsing, we came to a quick stop when we saw the front door was open. There on the porch stood my mother, eyes with tears glossing over her eyes, Susannah held her in a tight embrace.

“You know you can always count on me,” Susannah told her, my mother let out another sob before opening her eyes and quickly rushing out of Su’s hold when she saw us.

“Mom what’s going on?” I asked her rushing over.

“It’s nothing honey don’t worry about it, you’ll be staying at Susannah’s like you always do. I will bring you your things okay?” she said in a pleading matter. I always stayed at the Fisher house on the first night at Cousins, but now that I had seen my mother cry I didn’t want to stay the night, I wanted to be with her.

I wanted to ask more but Susannah’s knowing gaze told me that my mother needed time, so I nodded and attempted my best smile, my mother put her hand on my cheek and brushed her thumb over my cheekbone, then she rushed away back to our summer house.

“If you need me call me,” Susannah called out before my mother walked out of the fence.

The second she was out of view Jeremiah turned to Susannah expectantly, she huffed and rushed us back inside telling us that there was still much to do, she tried to change the subject asking whether we decided on dinner, when we said we hadn’t she called Conrad down.

We were in the kitchen when he had come down. Jere and I were sat on the stools and Susannah was stook on the opposite side of the counter just listing ideas for food, she looked beautiful with the reflection of the early sunset, almost goddess like, Belly would have loved to see her like this.

The second I heard his footsteps it was as if time had slowed, I was painfully aware of all of his features the second he had come out of the corner. His eyes met mine and for a split second no time had past, it was just him and I together, hidden from everyone’s eyes. Quickly, harshly he looked to his mom.

“I didn’t realise the y/l/n were here yet,” he said speaking as if I weren’t there, another arrow to the heart.

“Yeah Connie they arrived this morning too, and where are you manners say hello to Y/n” she hit him playfully with a hand drying towel. His frown turned to a smile and his eyes softened as he looked at me.

“Hey y/n how are you?” he asked, he didn’t move towards me, no hug, no smile for me either.

“Yeah I’ve been good, happy to finally be in paradise, away from school and city life,” I laughed but he didn’t seem to relate to my comment.

“Y/n’s staying tonight as always, have you got any ideas for dinner Con?” Susannah asked, he shook his head, joined his lips together and looked around the kitchen before settling his gaze on the floor shrugging.

“I was actually going to grab some food with some of the boys, Nicole and her friends are going too,” he said. I liked Nicole but I knew she’s had her eyes on Con for a while, I tried to not think about the two of them together.

“Connie we always have dinner as a three on the first night, I love you and I appreciate that you’re growing up but you’re still my son and Y/n’s here so you’re staying tonight please, and you three need to pick what you want to eat or I will,” she said meeting all our eyes one after the other. Conrad looked between Jeremiah and I and then back, before nodding to his mom.

We had decided on pizza, my mother brought my clothes by while Jere and I were running a game of Mario kart, I had paused the game but Susannah said she needed space and took my bag. Conrad didn’t come back downstairs until the food arrived, everything seemed normal at dinner, Con spoke some more, it may have been because Susannah was asking him lots of questions to get him involved but he still didn’t make any eye contact with me. What more could I do then focus my energy on the other two Fisher family members?

>---~<☀️>~---<

I was thankful my mom had packed my swimming costume into my bag, after twisting and turning in my bed for what seemed liked hours I looked at the clock, it was two in the morning. Susannah decided to turn in early today, tired from all the travel and settling in but Jere and I stayed up hanging out until half past one. Still laying and tossing in bed for half an hour unable to sleep was bad enough.

I rolled out of bed as quietly as possible, getting into the bikini my mom had packed, and walked out of the room on my tip toes even though I knew that none of the wooden tiles would creak for one, and secondly everyone knew night swims were my thing, and then Belly’s too since I took her. When her parents were going through the divorce she had a lot on her mind so I thought a night swim would help he handle all the emotions, and now she loved her night swims too.

When I arrived outside I threw my towel onto one of the lounge chairs and looked towards my house, all the light but one were off. Taking a deep breath I shook my head and dived straight in the pool without much thought or looking around. I let all the water soak up into my skin, the feeling so fresh, it felt like I was finally breathing.

As I broke for the surface I gasped onto the actual air and brushed my hair backwards out of my face, letting my whole head lower backwards at the weight, soaking up the moon.

“I see some things never change Y/n” a voice said, at first I was startled but when I turned around I saw him there, his face even more beautiful in the light of the moon. I didn’t realise how long he’d been there.

He must have been reading my mind because he said “You didn’t even notice me when you came out,”.

“Yeah some things never change,” I repeated but added, “But apparently a lot of things do,” I hadn’t meant for it to come out like an insult, the sour taste of the sentence felt wrong. He didn’t say anything, he lifted his cigarette to his mouth and looked back out at the sea.

“You’re smoking again,” I commented, he tired it once last summer that I couldn’t stand when people smoked, just like he had said a few years ago, and so he told me he wouldn’t do it again but I guess that went out the window too.

“You promised me you wouldn’t smoke again, that if it made me happy-“

“That wasn’t enough,” he said coldly, not looking at me when he said it.

“What happened with Aubrey?” The words had slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them, the curiosity got the best of me. I wanted to ask more ‘did she like it when you smoked?’ ‘was she prettier than me?’ ‘Is that why you never called, never messaged?’ but I didn’t, I knew I probably wouldn’t like any of the answers.

This time he did look at me but I couldn’t read the look on his face, I rarely ever could, “Who told you about Aubrey? I swear my mother is such a-“ he started and something in me felt the need to defend the poor woman.

“Jere, he mentioned it earlier,”

“What a dick, couldn’t keep one thing to himself,”

“Did you not want me to know?” I asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I didn’t want anyone to know,” he spat, turning back towards the sea and brushing a hand through his hair.

“We used to tell each other pretty much everything,” I said, but I didn’t have the guts to finish the sentence ‘what happened Connie?’.

“Grow up Y/n we’re getting older, our lives aren’t based around everyone’s little secrets or silly things that we’d whisper about as kids,” I was expecting more anger in his tone but this time his words came out emotionless, as if he was feelings nothing, completely shut down.

I wanted to say something so bad, to say that wasn’t what I meant, to perhaps say that he’s the one who’s changed, but I didn’t have the words in me to argue with him, he’d just come back with some more painfully targeted comeback. I swam to the edge of the pool, wishing for nothing more than slipping into our garden and going for a swim there but I didn’t want to upset Susannah. Instead, I wrapped myself up in my towel and made my way towards the door.

My hand rested on the handle of the sliding door when I swear I heard Conrad say “Goodnight Y/n” under his breath but that could have been the gentle night breeze that made the trees dance. I didn’t turn around and I didn’t say another word, instead I grabbed a shot of vodka making sure to put everything in its place before going to bed. I was so desperate as to not rerun our whole conversation in my head that I forced myself to fall asleep by some miracle.

>---~<☀️>~---<

In the morning atmosphere was not much improved, I was expecting to see my mother at the table outside drinking a coffee with Susannah but she wasn’t there, it was just Su with her large sun hat and white mug.

The whole house was so peaceful and quiet I noticed. It was nice, the morning sun prickling at my bare skin, outside my bikini that I put back on when I woke up, and the sound of the water lapping on the beach where I could see two blurry figures. The boys went early to surf, hence the silence.

When Susannah noticed me she said she started preparing a cup of tea for me, all I had to do was pour in some water, I smiled at her. After finishing making my tea I grabbed a pair of sunglasses.

“I went to see you mother this morning, and I grabbed you some clothes for the day, she asked me to pass on that she’d like you to stay here until the barbeque tonight,” Susannah tried to keep that even, joyful tone of hers but I could sense something was wrong.

“Susannah, what’s going on?” I asked her, my voice laced with worry, she held onto my hand and looked me up and down.

“I don’t know how you do it Y/n/n but you get more and more beautiful every year, I can’t wait to call you my daughter in law one day,” she said winking, I pulled away and blushed. Susannah and I had never spoken about her boys in that way, I have heard her say to my mother she couldn’t imagine losing one of her boys to anyone else, I rolled my eyes about it at the time. But now I wondered how much she knew, her mother senses were freaky, had she sensed the tension last year or the lack of it this year? I did always wonder which son she thought I would marry, if either.

“What time are the Conklin’s arriving?” I asked changing the subject and it seemed that was exactly what Susannah had wanted.

“They should be getting here around three or four so we can start setting up everything for the barbeque before then, Jere mentioned you lot were going out tonight. So, I’m assuming you guys will want to eat sooner rather than later,” her smile was always so light, Susannah seemed so happy and effortless all the time as if she had absolutely no worries in the world.

“Yeah that sounds great,” I said and looked back towards the beach, worried about my mother, what was happening? Everything was fine yesterday. The little figures from the distance were gone. The quiet was quickly destroyed when I heard the two Fisher boys come up from the beach, they looked exactly in their element then and there. Their boards in their hands, skin already sun kissed, hair dripping wet. Conrad rushed his hand through his hair and droplets of water travelled down his body I had to shake out of it to stop myself watching one droplet travel down low.

“Y/n/n you’re up, fancy a muffin run?” Jere asked walking towards us in a fast pace shaking the water off his body and hair, splashing us.

“Yeah, sure,” I sighed I needed to get away from the looming house next door, my house, the house my mother quite literally shut me out off.

“Actually, Connie was going to go into town and grab me a few things right Con? Take Y/n won’t you and Jere you could help me extend the table and get the grill out honey?” it wasn’t a command, more of a friendly request, but she knew neither of her boys could say no to her. At this point I was sure no one could.

“Yeah course mom,” Jere said and smiled at me though there was a hint of sadness or perhaps disappointment in his look.

“I’ll run and get changed then we can go,” Conrad directed at me, but rushed into the house. I followed shortly behind him to get changed into something more appropriate for town as well. The whole trip we didn’t talk apart from some small talk, for a moment I wondered whether Susannah orchestrated this on purpose. Whether she knew, or maybe Jere told her that Con and I weren’t taking. Either way whether it was her plan or not it didn’t work. By the time we got back, he was still as distant as he had been since last night.

The day the Conklins’ arrive always rushed by, I was setting up the bedding in their rooms, Jere was helping out his mom and so was Conrad, he was preparing all the food and storing it in the fridge while Jere was moving some furniture around outside, Susannah hated when the furniture looked the same outside for too long. She always said change, no matter how small (like moving one chair) was a good and needed change. Quickly the time had come Laurel, Belly and Steven had arrived.

Con and Jere were already putting laying out food on the grill, I wore one of my colourful summer dresses, Belly stuck with her bikini top and shorts, my parents were still yet to be seen.

“Hey y/n where’s m/n?” Belly asked shoving some cold popcorn in her mouth.

“Uh I think she still in the house, she’s probably on her way now,” I said nervously looking towards the boys, Con gave me a sad smile while Jere looked towards his mom, what was going on? Why did Con seem to more than me?

I took the opportunity to sneak away into my house when Susannah excused herself to go to the bathroom.

I quickly came to regret that decision, when I slid open our back door I saw her there, just past the kitchen, laying on the couch covered in blankets. The curtains were closed she was sat in pitch darkness with dirty tissues everywhere around her. There was smashed plates and glasses all over the floor.

“Mom?” I asked in panic, “Mom what the hell has happened here?” my voice was shaking.

Before she could answer Laurel was running in behind me, she must have followed me, she grabbed me from behind and held me close to her. I could feel the tears start prickling, my breathing was becoming rash.

Finally, my mother sat up when Belly, Steven and Conrad got into the house.

“What did I tell you guys, I said stay at the table!” Laur sighed in a defeated manner.

“I’m so so sorry baby,” My mom said coming towards me, pulling me out of Laur’s hand gently, she ran her fingers down my hair, “It’s over, it’ll never be the same,” she began to cry, violent tears travelled down her cheeks.

Susannah had now also joined the crowd, “Y/n” she murmured looking concerned.

“Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on?” my voice was raised.

“Your father and I argued,” so that’s the reason for all the broken glass. Still whenever they argued it never came to anything physical. I think she could sense what I was questioning, “He cheated on me Y/n/n”.

In that moment my throat felt as dry as sandpaper, but my eyes were like faucets that were about let a whole waterfall.

“Where is he?” I asked quietly, still my voice sounded like it was booming in the dead silence of the room.

“He’s gone Y/n, I don’t know where, or for how long but he’s gone” she said tears building up in her eyes again. I took a deep breath, then another, shaking my head in an accidental rhythm. He wouldn’t, he couldn’t have.

Everyone’s eyes were on me, I could feel them waiting for a reaction and I simply couldn’t give it to them. I didn’t know myself then. I turned around, gripped my phone harder and headed towards the beach, ignoring Jeremiah as he shouted my name. I kept walking and walking and soon enough I saw the bonfire party ahead of me.

>---~<☀️>~---<

Before I knew it I had 3 shots of vodka and drank two beers, the mix was unpleasant in my mouth but so was the thought of my ruined family life, I had so many questions but a big part of me didn’t want the answers to them. The boys and Belly arrived a bit after me, none of them said a word to me, they kept their distance, but I knew they were watching me.

After another drink or two I could feel myself starting to get dizzy, I was sick of sitting alone staring at the water when I was surrounded by so many other people. I couldn’t walk straight but I headed directly towards the group of people dancing.

I accidently spilt some of my drink onto a girl’s shoe, she was about to throw a temper tantrum- classic for one of those country club girls who I never fit in with. Jeremiah came to my rescue, flirting with her expertly, after the brunette calmed down he turned back to me.

He tried to take the red cup out of my hand but I pulled it further away from him.

“Y/n you’ve had enough, come on its two in the morning lets go home,” he had a pleading tone.

“Never have I ever thought Jere would be the one wanting to leave a party,” My tone was mocking, I didn’t mean it, but he was the one trying to bring me back to the reality I was avoiding.

“I know this is hard Y/n/n but please, we’ve all had enough,”

“You guys go, I’m staying, I still haven’t had my fun, ooo look at that guy- he’s so good looking,“ I pointed to him “maybe he’ll dance with me,” I giggled.

“Y/n/n please, I’m begging you,”

“Fuck off Jere, stop trying to ruin my fun for once,” the look on his face was horrified and hurt, but that didn’t matter in the moment, he finally left me alone.

Another hour must have passed, I was right he would dance with me, with each song his hands were getting more comfortable with the shape of my body, his lips were edging closer to my lips and neck too, I encouraged him further. Maybe this summer wouldn’t be so bad, all this fun I had been missing out on.

Finally, he laid his lips on mine, his fingers traced the bottom hem of my dress, slowly inching it higher, his sloppy lips moved onto my neck and I let out a moan. My eyes closed.

“Get the fuck off her!” A voice yelled, immediately I took my hands from around the guy’s neck and put them up to cover my ears.

“You got a problem Fisher?” The guy asked, I rolled my eyes, it was Conrad.

“Why are the fucking pair of you Fisher brothers trying to ruin my night!” I exclaimed, I wanted it to sound like a threat but I couldn’t raise my voice, not at him, not at my Connie.

“Exactly don’t ruin the night dude, listen to the babe,” I didn’t like the endearment but if I said anything Con would think I’m agreeing with him and that was simply unacceptable.

“We’re going Y/n, lets go,” he said firmly. I rolled my eyes and turned away from him, “I said we’re going,” he repeated this time there was an edge of something in his voice, I couldn’t quite pinpoint it.

“Whatever- are there any drinks left?” I shouted, a few people near us turned to look at me weird. I ignored the stares and grabbed the guy’s face, forcefully laying my lips on his, hoping Con would just feel uncomfortable and leave.

“I get that you’ve had a hard night but you’re scaring Belly,” as soon as he said those words something in me switched, “Jere drove everyone else home about an hour ago, they were worried tired,” he said, and I let him pull me towards the car. We heard the guy behind us shout but I could only focus on the consequences of my actions.

When we got to the car I was feeling hyperaware of all my surroundings, he helped me get into the passenger seat then rushed to his side. The digital clock said it was twenty past three in the morning. He didn’t put any music on, he didn’t speak, the quiet was deafening but it made my headache a bit better.

Conrad parked outside of our driveways. He sighed and leaned his head back for a minute before finally turning to me. My eyes met his, I could tell he was unsure of what to do now. All the lights in both the houses were off.

“Taylor’s staying in your room for the next few days, Susannah invited her for an early surprise visit so-“ he stated and swallowed.

I felt a little but frantic, “No- No Connie don’t make me go into that house where my mother is,” I pleaded, he run his hand through his hair and exhaled heavily again, “Please, I’m sorry, I won’t let this happen again, I’ll take the couch just don’t make me go back there,”.

His lips tightened, “My mom will kill me if you sleep on the couch, but fine you take my room I’ll sleep in the living room,” he said, before I could argue he got out and shut the door. Coming around the other side of the car he helped me out, balancing us with an around me.

“I’m sorry Connie, I’m sorry,” I kept repeating, he practically pulled me towards the front door.

“Ok, come on Y/n nearly there,” I watched him put the key in and unlock the door, then he was at my side again, helping me take my shoes off and then get up the stairs.

“I didn’t mean to scare Belly, I don’t know what I was doing,” I tried to make eye contact with him again but he was focused on getting me to bed.

“I know.” Was all I got.

Finally, we reached the bed, the journey from the car here felt like it had been hours, in reality it was probably 15 minutes with my constant pauses.

“Come on lie down,” he moved the comforter up to let me get under it, I didn’t lie down though.

“Con can you sit down for a minute?” I whispered.

He ran his hand over his eyes, the bags underneath them made me sad, I forced those to make an appearance tonight and I hated myself for it, “You need to sleep,”

“Please, I won’t be able to sleep if you don’t,” that was a lie and he knew it too but sat down anyway, “I need you,” I said, my voice so weak he could have missed it.

He looked at my confused, I inched closer to him, gaze switching between his eyes and lips, he didn’t move, maybe he didn’t want this, maybe he was just playing along so I would finally go to sleep, either way.

His eyes shut when my lips were millimetres away from his, still he didn’t move. Not a muscle. So I did it, our lips met, at first it was just me kissing him, his lips cold against me but then he was kissing me back, I moved closer to him, another bit and I would be on his lap. He didn’t touch me, I took both his hands and laid them directly on my chest.

That’s when he pulled away and stood up, hand on his forehead, “I can’t do this Y/n. Not like this” his eyes were tired and so was his voice. And again I was ashamed, what was wrong with me, five seconds ago I was apologising for scaring Belly and then next minute I was ready to go all the way with Con.

“I’m sorry,” I said again.

“Lie down Y/n,” his hand on the door handle.

“Stay with me please? I won’t do anything I promise,” a sad smile played over his lips, “I can’t be alone right now,” I added, that’s why I went to the party in the first place, to be surrounded by people. To make myself and my problems feel small.

He was hesitant but gave in, I assume he would have rather have his bed than the couch. He took his shirt off and changed his shorts before getting into bed. He fiddled on his phone for a few minutes and then turned away from me. I faced his back, watching him breathing in and out as I dazed off.

>---~<☀️>~---<

The sun peered out of the half closed curtain right into my eyes, my head banging, I squeezed my eyes together and looked towards the clock on the wall, it was only half 7. The feeling of embarrassment swayed over me again. I needed to get out of here, I couldn’t face Belly, Jere and Susannah, or anyone in this half hungover state.

As I went to lift my body I finally noticed the weight on my stomach, I looked towards the boy next to me, his hand laid across my belly, head nuzzled between my shoulder and head, my heart skipped a beat. He looked rough. He looked worried and tired even in his sleep. I wanted to close my eyes again, pretend I hadn’t woken up first. To be in this fake bubble for a little while longer before everything kicked off again. Before I had to face reality.

After a minute of deliberation, I decided let myself have this moment. I felt my body relax under his touch and fall back asleep.

When I woke up again the blind was completely shut, there was no light coming into the room, I looked at the clock it was 1, Conrad was no longer next to me and I felt the absence of his warmth.

I stretched out on the bed, my head was hurting less, I wanted to memorise as much of laying in his bed as I could because it probably wouldn’t happen again. I didn’t get very long before Con came into the room with what was Laurel’s famous hungover ‘soup in a cup’.

“You’re awake,” he said. I just looked at him, I knew he remembered everything from last night, he didn’t drink, and I always remembered everything from when I drank, hence why I rarely ever did.

“I’m sorry,” I said, his face melted and he came to sit next to me.

“What are you sorry for?” he asked passing me the glass, I took it and drank half in one go attempting to avoid the smell, the remedy smelled sickly and foul.

“For running away, for being reckless, for… for scaring Belly,” then I sighed, “For kissing you,” I looked at my hands. There was silence between us again, I remember a few summers ago when no one could get us to stop talking, funny how now it was the opposite.

“Did Aubrey like Cousins?” I asked not looking up. I had to know.

Con sighed, “No,”

I let out a little unbelievable gasp, “How can anyone not like Cousins,” the thought simply ridiculous to me.

“Why didn’t you tell me about her Con?” I asked.

“I needed to get away from you, after that kiss last year summer, and what it almost became I got so scared that I’d fuck something up that I couldn’t even text you, we’re family if something happened between us and then didn’t end well, that would impact everyone around us. Then I met her,” he said simply.

“Did you love her?”

“I thought I could have, she was nice, her smile wasn’t like yours though and her lips didn’t feel the same. If I let myself, I think I could have really like her- love, I don’t think I could have ever loved her but I could have liked her enough to have a future together,” he explained, and I just nodded, he was right, one wrong move on our behalf and we could ruin everything our families spent years building.

“Then I brought her here, to your favourite place, and it felt wrong even on the drive down. We were meant to stay the week but she hated it. She hated Cousins, this house, the place you love the most and I knew it was never going to work,” he said, that set a little part of my heart aflame. This didn’t mean anything, he still didn’t want anything with me, but it brought me comfort that all this time he had been thinking about me.

“Thank you for saving me,” I said.

“You weren’t yourself last night,”

“I don’t just mean last night, I mean in general over all these years, thank you for saving me,” we met eyes again.

“Thank you for letting me hold you for one more night,” his voice so raw and honest.

“Do you think this feeling will ever stop?” I asked and felt the tears come to my eyes. He reached his hand towards me and pulled me into an embrace.

“I’ll always love you,” he whispered into my hair, I nodded as a few tears escaped my eyes, “I didn’t take her to our spot,” he reassured me.

“Couldn’t we at least try?” I sounded pathetic, like a little girl begging. I knew he wanted to try, this didn’t have to change anything.

“I don’t want to build something on rocky ground,” he said and he meant it, I was hurting, my family was falling apart, “My mom had cancer again Y/n/n and I don’t think she’s going to get better this time,” I could feel the sob building up in his body, his life was falling apart too.

How could we ever hope to keep ourselves together when everything around us was crumbling?

Masterlist

#conrad fisher x reader #conrad fisher x you #conrad fisher x y/n #conrad fisher imagine #conrad fisher #jeremiah fisher x reader #jeremiah fisher x you #jeremiah fisher x y/n #jeremiah fisher #tsitp #tsitp x reader #tsitp x you #tsitp imagine #the summer i turned pretty #the summer i turned pretty x reader #the summer i turned pretty x you

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bronx-bomber87 · 4 months

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Merry Christmas Eve to all who celebrate it :) We’ve reached S5. Which is unreal. It shouldn’t be since I’ve been writing these for 7 plus months now and yet ha. I remember BUZZING for this ep. Then being in shock It actually happened. This entire season felt like a gift from the writers.

The long awaited reward for the slow burn. Although I enjoyed every moment of that slow burn. Was very happy to get to this place I will say. You thought Tim’s brain was broken last ep? It’s about to be obliterated haha Once again some long gifs I’ll make to get it all in. Might be the theme for this season LOL I fit everything in that I could this ep was wall to wall moments. Let’s get going.

5x01 Double Down

We start out on a glorious high. Lucy is dreaming about kissing Tim. Making out really. Not only that but she is grinning like crazy as she does. Sure she’s had dreams like this before about him. No doubt in my mind she’s had naughty dreams about this man. (and vice versa let’s be honest) But now she had something real to dream about. A tangible moment. Didn't take long for that to take root in her subconscious ha.

Also in this dream we get another lovely angle to that kiss. It's like we got two first kisses everyone. It's glorious. They sure started this season off with spoiling us right away. He looks like he’s about to eat her face in this dream version. This is why she’s smiling so much heh I love having both angles. Real and dream version.

I like how the dream version is little spicier. Like this is her dream version of that kiss. How he’s cupping her face in this one. She wanted him to devour her like that. She would’ve been happy to be his meal for the night. Also showing Lucy has it SOO bad for him. Forgetting she has a blah BF at the moment. Chris who? Unfortunately as it gets good a knock startles her awake.

It’s Tamara waking her up. Lucy is legit jarred from her dream. We watch her struggle to come back down to earth. Her messy hair and reaction are too funny. This one of my all time fav Tamara/Lucy moments. She has to give Lucy a hard time about the kiss. Wouldn’t be her if she didn’t. It’s too cute. Lucy goes into mom mode about school. Telling her about Rosalind’s trial shutting the city down. Her normal route will be closed.

Tamara mirroring her going into protective daughter mode. Asking her if she wants her to skip class? I love her always wanting to put Lucy first. She tells her no. She will be ok and no where near Rosalind anyways. She is bound to the station with Tim anyways. Waiting for their OP to jump off. Tamara asking if it’s for the UC thing from the other night? Lucy confirms this.

Tamara’s giving her crap about the kiss. Lucy being defensive saying didn’t mean anything. Oh yes nothing. You weren’t just dreaming about it or anything…Mmhm…Then she says her legendary line. ‘Make out. Stop crime. That totally tracks.' LOL I love her so much. Lucy tells her to go to school. Tamara replies in kind telling her to have fun at work. With her boss. Who she kissed…

We then switch to Tim talking to Angela about said kiss. Now let me say how giddy it makes me he came to Angela about it. Yes she’s his best friend but he didn’t used to be this open with her. She had to pull teeth in 2x11 even when he asked for her help. This is a far more open Tim Bradford than we’ve seen before. He starts this convo then goes into full denial. Babe, you started this and she has great Chenford radar. You weren’t going to fool her. Not in the slightest. I love how she doesn’t let up the entire convo. Smirking this entire time through out it as well.

Asking how much did they practice? LOL Tim telling her it was just a kiss. No big deal. Angela’s reply is epic. ‘Then why are we talking about it?’ Boom. Mic drop. She is iconic in this scene. Sounds like he’s trying to convince himself more than anything else. Tim deflecting saying 'What if it wasn’t just a kiss for her?' Really asking 'Do you think she has feelings for me too?' Angela follows up asking if Lucy might have feelings for him? He looks so deflated when he says ‘No..’ Thinking no way Lucy could have feelings for him. Ugh break my heart Tim. When Angela gives me more logic it makes him said.

Telling him she probably saw the kiss as just as a weird work thing then. The defeated way he says ‘Right....’ Angela picks up on it immediately. Hence her next question to him. The way he says ‘No!' to her feelings question. He’s SO defensive. Not telling at all…Do you even believe yourself Timothy? His voice gets all high pitched. Just like Lucy does when she gets nervous about her feelings. He does his spiel about them both being in relationships. Being her boss. etc. Angela crushes it with some more solid logic. ‘All true. Not what I asked.’ God I love her. Also let’s note how deliciously tight Tim’s shirt is in this scene. Didn’t think I would let that slide by did you? Mmm.

We rejoin them in the interrogation room. Tim complaining how greasy his double is. How he hates it LOL Lucy comes in looking like a stunner. Notice Tim agreeing with Aaron’s assessment of how good she looks. She then mentions regretting the choice of thong idea LMAO I love her. Also you are going to be the death of him Lucy Chen haha What are you doing to this man? They received a call earlier and now waiting for a follow up to where to meet.

The phone goes off and Lucy gives the most ‘ in love’ look at him. She couldn’t adore that man standing in front of her more if she tried. Tim answers and Hajek tells them to meet his guys at an air strip. I love the silent communication between them. Always adore that about them. Lucy tries to get them more time saying they can’t just up and leave. How she looks requires lots of suitcases and precision.

Swing and miss sadly. Tells them to meet them there or end up in a coffin. Angela is scrambling because leaving the state is a whole other thing. Aaron saves them by letting them use his private jet for him and Angela to follow in. Lucy says they can follow the flight plan the pilot has to submit. Angela is relaxing a bit and decides to let them proceed. Aaron cracks me up asking about caviar selection such a goob. Says he'll just get an assortment. Ha I love him.

So begins them “pretending” to be a couple. When really it’s just them having no restrictions or boundaries on them. Getting to look, touch, flirt, and be free with one another. Under the guise of UC. It’s glorious really. I felt my brain stopped working multiple times in this episode the first time. Just like Tim. Lucy starts off STRONG explaining why they're late. Pulling Tim to her saying 'Their quickie wasn’t so quick.' Hot damn. (I can see this being a reason for them now a days too hehe)

They’re like magnets instantly drawn to each other. Gah I love it so much. I remember it being so hard to focus. Because they had their arms all wrapped around each other from the word go. The way they are all over each other in this hanger scene. It’s their normal banter but heightened. I’ll never be over her hand resting on his hip. His arms wrapped around her. The easy rhythm they quickly fall into. Almost like being a couple is the most natural thing in the world for them. I mean look at them. They are not struggling to sell this one bit.

The way they’re attached at the hip. Swaying together like they’re in their own world. Which what else is new with them? This is par for the course when they're together. They’re always in their own world when they banter. Only right now they’re allowed to touch and hold each other as much as they want to. And trust me they want to. It felt like I was dreaming as I watched this portion. Truly in a daze. I had to rewind and pay attention to the SL. More than once...

The smiles and the swaying gah they get me. They basically mirror the smiles and swaying from 5x12. Because they’re just as in love right now as they are 11 eps down the road. I love Lucy’s face when they get interrupted LOL It was the biggest scowl. Like excuse me you weren’t invited to this party.

I truly think they nailed this because it was their shot. They thought this was their only chance to be with each other without any restrictions. So they went for it as we can see. We all lapped it up like it was the last bit of water in the desert haha I’m giddy as he tells her to get on the damn plane. It's so cute. Lucy cannot keep her hands off him from the minute they start this. Tim is more than happy to oblige. Gah this is cloud 9 goodness.

The goodies continue on the plane as they head towards Vegas. I don’t know about you but first time I watched this portion I couldn’t focus. I was obsessed with her sitting on his lap basically. Leaning into him. Not only that but the start to Tim’s obsession we all love with her thighs. How he has his hand rests there naturally. Like his hand has found it's new home happily. Lastly their hands. I remember focusing so much on just their hands I missed dialogue. Had to rewind it to hear what was going on LOL

If you weren’t just as distracted by their hands and PDA you’re a lying liar who lies haha Or you don’t ship them. In that case why you reading this review right now? Ha I think they were both nervous about this being out of state. The hands weren’t necessary in the least. I think they were unconsciously grounding each other.

Finding comfort in each other’s touch. Also I think them being this way was incredibly natural for them. Just like everything else has been their entire relationship. Why the slow burn was so necessary. So when we got here it was basically a flawless crossover to this. Touching each other as much as possible and I love it.

Lucy cracks me up trying to get info on their job. Saying right now it's the world’s most boring bachelor party LOL Tim saying this is a job not a party. They finally tell them what their job is since they’re airborne. They ask them if they know who Roman Krupka is? They say nope. Apparently he imports Heroin to the Monarch cartel. Lucy mentions so the competition?

He continues on saying ‘Something like that.' That Roman is paranoid of computers. Doesn’t keep a written record anywhere. That the details of his operation exist in one place. One man called ‘The Brain .’ His name is Leonard Madris. Tim makes the comment isn’t is dangerous for one man to carry all that? They say yes and he’s usually kept under heavy guard. Never leaves the compound.

The reason they’re headed to Vegas is because of him. They’re received a solid tip he will be there this weekend. They find out their plan in this. They’re to take out the guards while he grabs Madris. Then they’re gonna torture the man for every detail. Then they’ll take over the business by doing so. Lucy is so cocky in her reply. I love it. Saying sounds like they should be getting paid more heh. Lyon tells them tough. So charming...

We rejoin them finding out Rosalind has escaped through Lyon. This is one of my fav moments of the episode. The way he immediately grabs her hand. Trying to ground her in this moment. Keeping her close to him so he can show her he’s there. Reassure her that she isn’t alone in hearing this. It’s just instinctual him doing this. Knowing this would be a massive trigger that would throw her off kilter. Trying to keep Lucy there with him. To stop her from losing focus and spiraling out.

Also the way Tim looks up at her. Checking in trying to get her to silently communicate with him. He needs to know she’s ok. Protective Tim is one of my favs. That immediate need to shield and protect her. Rosalind is a huge trauma trigger for her. He wants so badly to help her with this news. Look at how her hand is clutching his shoulder at first. He starts rubbing his thumb on her hand. Trying to get her to unclench. (Wasn't able to fit that one in but he does it.)

Tim being her calm in the raging storm she has going on right now. Her constant in this moment. Which is exactly what she needs. This man is so soft for her I’ll never be over it everyone. Tim isn’t able to get a read on her. She won’t look down at him. So he asks how long till they land? Lyon says 15 minutes. Tim tells them perfect. His cover being the mile high club. It’s his way of getting them a private moment. He needs to check in on her and he can’t do that with them around.

They head back and Lucy goes into full spiral mode. This is why he wanted to do this. She starts to be taken over by her fear and PTSD. Tim sees it taking over her. He tells her to stop in the softest way possible. Lucy takes a deep breath and little stomp but does. Telling her if she is not 100 percent in this it’s going to get her killed. Which ultimately will kill him in the process.

Lucy defends herself and says she’s got this. The news got to her at first but this is their one shot at Madris. That she is fine. I love him being protective and wanting to pull the plug just for her. The beautiful thing is he listens to her on this. Doesn’t bulldoze her and make a decision like he used to. He is trusting her in this moment. Letting her decide for herself ultimately. Which is such growth for him once again I can’t stand it.

He’s so ready to kill this OP if she’s not ok. I love that sfm. Letting her know that there is no shame if she does. He is there if she is ready to pull the ripcord. Tim is about to leave when she stops him. Tim looks so very confused once again. Lucy telling him it needs to look like they hooked up in here. Tim isn’t on the same page as her right now and it shows haha

Here comes that infamous airplane kiss. Has some similar aspects to their first kiss. Except way spicier this time around. Once again Lucy just pounces on Tim. He has to absorb the weight of her throwing her body at him. We watch him once again stumble into their kiss. Taken aback by her forcefulness. Her passion nearly knocking him off his feet. Tim isn't complaining once her lips collide with his though.

It doesn’t take long for him to adjust to it and go with this mini make out session of their's. He is adjusting much faster this time around. It’s all hands at first. His body absorbing the shock of her body slamming into his. Tim wrapping his arms around her anchoring her body to his. Lucy’s hands firmly planted on his face as she leads this kiss at first. Tim’s hands moving up her back fully enveloping her in his arms. Getting so very lost in her once again. Instantly melting into her.

I love how the kiss continues to get deeper. Sexier as well. Hot damn look at them above. Tim is the one chasing her lips as they continue this much spicier kiss. The way he’s leaning into her as they sway together. Two people in perfect tandem with each other. Not missing a beat. They were both so very thirsty in this moment. It’s all over this kiss. Tim running his hands up and down her back as he is savoring her. Lucy hands moving down his face not looking to part from him any time soon either. Tim isn't the only one getting easily lost in this.

Lucy’s hands sliding down his chest once again. This kiss getting deepened much faster this second time around. Their desire for one another is very evident. Tim can't keep his hands off her. Like I said for their kiss in 4x22. If they kept going his hands would end up on her face. He can’t keep them still and as she runs her hands down his chest. He pulls her closer to him not wanting to lose any contact with her. Eliminate any unnecessary space between them.

Her lips are quickly becoming a drug he is getting addicted to. He sure loves her upper lip. Captures it between his as he looks to further this impromptu kiss. *fans self* Look at him in that gif above. Wants her as close to him as possible. I just adore how softly he cups her face wanting to keep this kiss going. Totally forgetting about the mission and the men outside the door. All that matters right now is Lucy and her lips on his.

How Lucy has the self control to pull herself from him I don’t know. Gah it’s the grunt Tim does when she breaks off. *phew lord* That noise is doing things to me. Mmm. He was basically chasing her lips again when she broke off. Chasing that high of kissing her some more. He was very not ready for that to end. Also how glossy his lips look post kiss. She had her damn way with that man haha

He looks so dazed snd confused when she wipes his lips. Her hand shaking as she does this. I know we all joke about how “unnecessary” this kiss was. I think part of it was Lucy seeking comfort from Tim in this moment. The kiss quelling her Rosalind fueled anxiety. She needed to be connected with him for a moment before she could put it behind her or attempt to.

Tim was more than happy to oblige. Poor man has short circuited once again though. Eric once again the master of expressions comes through again. He doesn’t know how to restart. She’s like ok let’s do this and moves leaving Tim stand there in her wake. He is trying to figure out WTF just happened in the last 30 seconds.

We then get this pretty shot of them in the SUV. There is so much being said in the short time span of this shot too. We can see Lucy is still struggling with her PTSD. From the minute she heard the news Lucy has been scaling the walls emotionally. Almost like she’s back in that barrel. All her emotions threatening to drown her. Her lowering the window to get some air on her face. Cool her emotions down.

Looking at the bright lights trying to ground herself. To help her stay in character. Desperate not burn their UC covers. Tim looking over at her so much worry carried in eyes. She can feel his eyes on her and looks back at him. Their silent communication doing all the talking for them. She’s still in a panic but at least she has Tim with her. To keep her grounded and from spiraling out completely.

Tim giving the most space he’s given since this started. Not wanting to physically comfort her right now. Not because either of them want that space. It’s because he isn’t wanting to draw attention to her emotional distress. That would draw questions they can’t have right now. So they share a look and he doesn’t take his eyes off her. I love it so much.

Someone in the casino recognizes Jake. A girl. Which isn’t great. But does give us some protective Lucy which I always love. Finally getting to do that hair take down of her's. The one she threatened Stanton with back in 3x05. I love her taking charge of this moment. Getting this woman to back off. Don’t mess with Lucy Chen ya’ll lol They spot Angela and Aaron across the way after she lets this woman go. Figures this is the time to break off.

Lucy says she wants to gamble. See if they can get lucky three times in one day. Heh I love how he walks with her to them. Wish I could've fit the gif in. His hands on her shoulders from behind as they walk. Totally necessary to walk like this with her LOL I have a feeling this was possibly Eric being a goober steering her towards the table haha But either way I'm a happy girl with it. This was quite the married thing to do though regardless of why. I loved it. Also low key protecting her as they walk toward Angela and Aaron.

They update Angela on everything. Lucy’s first question is about Rosalind. Angela says she got a psycho lawyer to help break her out. We watch Lucy comprehend this. Saying 'Another Caleb....I knew it.' Then says Tamara needs protection. (No mention of Chris BTW) Her other fav human is with her. So no one else to protect from Rosalind. As they talk about this Lucy trying to keep her panic at bay but not doing the best job about it.

Angela picks up on it right away. Asking if Lucy is up for this? That she can pull out if she needs to. I adore Tim answering for her. Backing her and saying she’s solid. The look she gives Tim. My damn heart. He wasn’t gonna pull her till she told him to do so. Until then he supported and trusted her decision. The growth is astronomical in him. You see that written all over Lucy's face. It’s so damn good. You can tell she wanted to touch him as a thank you but stopped herself.

The minute they’re inside the room Lucy turns on the TV. Tim saves her from herself and turns it off. Saying they don’t know anything they don’t. Protective Tim is present through out this episode. Here for it. She is starting to spiral again and sits on the bed. She looks so tired and stressed out. Tim gives her a sweet compliment to cheer her up. He knows how down in the dumps she is about this. Wants to build her up in anyway he can. Saying how she's really good at UC. Just in awe of her once again.

The sweet smile he gives her when he says it too. Be more smitten Timothy I dare you. Lucy asks if he’s ok with her showering first? He says yeah. Then we see her break his brain once again. The door doesn’t close all the way and he gets a sneak peak of her naked back. He stumbles back to the bed trying not to look back at her. Replying 'Yeah... ok.. um fries.' LOL Lucy you have broken this man and I’m dying.

Eric once again crushes it with his facial expressions. Trying not to be turned on and needing a cold shower more than ever. What cracks me up is his sigh as he watches TV. Trying to drown out his dirty thoughts of her in the shower. She comes out saying the water pressure is epic. Wanting to steal the robes and asking if that's stealing? Tim says no it’ll just be charged to the room. She says ‘WE’ should take two then. There’s that married ‘We’ again.

You can tell Tim is antsy af to talk about their kisses. First off let me say how proud of I am of this man. This is the same man who couldn’t have a serious conversation with his current GF to save his life. He is the one to broach this topic with her. Once again making that first move. NEEDING to know if she’s feeling what he is very much feeling. Lucy is the one to bring this courage out in him. To want to talk about this.

He went far outside his comfort zone to get this convo started. Telling her it doesn’t feel like pretend to him. The look on his face as he says this. The hope in his eyes desperately trying to see if she is feeling their connection. Lucy panics and stutters in her reply. To me it’s not because she doesn’t feel the same. He has stunned her into silence. What she is worried about here is losing what they have.

To admit what’s going on between them means she now has something to risk. Something to lose if she does. Her person. The most important person in her life. Tim is far too important to her lose over them trying and possible failing. She is very aware it doesn’t feel like pretend. But isn’t willing to risk that. Ironically in a city like Vegas where one takes such risks. So she crushes Tim with her reply. Saying it’s an intimate act. It’s basic biology. You know a BS answer.

She is deflecting so she doesn’t have to risk losing him. Or confront this at all really. What she doesn’t know is the damage she just inflicted. Tim was already panicky from his convo with Angela about her not having feelings. He suddenly feels very alone in his desire for more. For feeling something. She’s basically rejected him in this moment. He is so sad with her reply.

He gives her one last chance with his ‘So you're saying it’s not a big deal? Doesn’t mean anything?’ She stumbles some more saying ‘Right?’ Wanting him to answer this question for her. She can’t possibly accept he wants her too. So she deflects once again. Tim put himself out there and she shut him down. Their convo is interrupted his cell phone. The looks she shoots his way break my heart. Knowing she’s hurt his feelings. When really she broke his heart a little.

It’s Angela with an update. He tells her he’s alone in the hotel with Lucy. Her ‘Uh oh’ always cracks me up. I love their friendship so very much. Her teasing is primo this season and it makes my heart happy. She is so shipping them and just wants her bestie to be happy. I love it. Telling him not to do anything she wouldn’t. He slams the phone shut and tosses it on bed. LOL

Lucy goes to dry her hair and there is a knock at the door. It’s the girl from earlier saying she knows he’s in there. Tim opens the door and gets hit in the face. They know he’s not Jake. Saying she told them he had a gut last time she saw him. That it was only 3 weeks ago. I mean that sucks for Sava. Means Jake was cheating on her long before 5x18.

He sends Wisco after Lucy and says he says not to kill her yet. Lucy is a BAMF and takes out most of the crew. This part is hilarious about her robe. I’m dying. 'Showed him the whole world just now.' Oh Lucy never change. Tim shakes his head so much I’m cackling. This is the woman you’ve chosen to love Timothy. So exasperated with he right now. I love how she stares down at him lovingly. But you know it’s just basic biology right Lucy?

I love love love him walking her up. That’s last bit of protectiveness being displayed. He doesn't want her to be alone. Tim saying he can’t wait to get out of these clothes. Lucy making a joke she isn’t going to miss that hairstyle. Then Tim is so cute and flirty says he kinda likes hers though. OMG he’s so damn cute. He is such a goner for her oh my word. Lucy’s smile not believing what she’s hearing. Gah this end portion was the death of me. Tim says I guess this is it as they approach her door. Saying they go back to being them tomorrow.

He almost seems sad about that fact. Lucy turning to him and sharing 'Right..everything that happened undercover they’ll leave behind'. No you won’t lol Then Tim does his dorky UC line and regrets it instantly. Scolds himself for that line. Basically saying why are you like this? LOL Cracks me up the way he shakes his head. Like why can't you be more smooth? Oh that's right because you're stupid in love with her and a nervous wreck about it. Funny pre-cursor to his 'Naked time.' line heh.

It’s then Lucy deciding to make a move here. All this talk about going back to being them stoking something inside her. Saying in a sense they’re still UC since they haven’t been debriefed. Tim not catching what she’s throwing down. Just replies 'I guess you’re right.' Lucy is eyeing him like she is ready to have him right then and there. Her ‘Mmhm.’. Trying to give him a hint as she flicks her eyes to the door. It’s then Tim starts to catch her drift. The look on his face when it hits him. Like he can't believe she feels the same way he does.

That there is something there. There is a whole lot of want and excitement in that man's eyes. Lucy has created a loophole of sorts. One where they’re still Jake and Sava. And what do Jake and Sava like to do? Have sex. Lots of hot sex. The amount of bedroom eyes Lucy is throwing at him is insane. The sultry inviting way she says ‘Do you want to come in?’ Tim falling back on his professional boundaries like he has for years. Tells her he shouldn’t…Not that he doesn’t want to. He SHOULDN’T. The song in this scene is solid too BTW. Whoever picks music for this show needs a raise.

Lucy nods and goes to open her front door. Tim looks longingly at her as she does. Lucy gives it one last go. Cranking it up on those sultry bedroom eyes of hers. Basically inviting Tim in to have his way with her. Gah Melissa killing it with the inviting stare. We watch Tim struggle outside her doorway. He has been fighting this instinct for YEARS. I’m sure whenever he had an impure thought he pushed it down. Shoved away any attraction to her. Pushed her away as well. Maintained the professional boundaries he set up years ago. (For the most part.)

Thing is he’s been slow receding those boundaries for years as well. Especially last season when that last bit of his wall collapsed. Slowly letting her into every aspect of his life. To the point that we are now here. Where Lucy is blatantly inviting him in for something very unprofessional. We see Tim have an internal battle with himself. Then basically says ‘F*ck it and comes in. His attraction and his draw to her winning out. He would be lying if he said he didn’t want this. Or hadn’t wanted it in the past before either.

Lucy asks him if he wants a drink? Can she make him one? Tim declining not wanting to waste any time in this precious loophole of theirs. Also didn’t need alcohol to have the courage to do this. He already pushed past that to even enter this apt. Not wanting to dull any senses or touch with alcohol. Wanting to be fully present with her. Lucy looks like was ready to jump his bones right then and there. The sexual tension is palpable. Their UST is off the charts with this entire scene but reaches critical levels once they’re inside.

Lucy understanding why he didn’t want that drink. Love her sweet but nervous smile as she goes to put her stuff down. It's then we see Chris there which ends up ruining everything LOL Just bleeding out on her couch. I love how Tim throws his head back when she see’s Chris is there. I’ll never forget that amount of hilarious memes Eric posted. People putting the funniest shit about him being there. I wish I could find them. They were SO funny. I’ll be honest as frustrated as I was in the moment I was glad they didn’t hook up. The UST was fantastic. Don’t get me wrong good god.

But it’s much better they got together the way they do this season. Way less mess and not worth the angst it would’ve caused for them to cheat on their SO’s. It’s the fact that they almost did that was so damn telling IMO. Phew well hot damn this was a beast to write. But I loved it. This premiere is fantastic from beginning to end. The amount of moments are unreal. Hell of a way to start out a season of non stop gifts. I haven’t watched S5 the number of times I’ve watched 1-4 so this will be fun. Excited to finish out this rewatch with you all as we count down to the S6 premiere. It’s 58 days btw...

~~~~

Side notes-Non Chenford

This isn’t something I enjoyed so much as it rubbed me the wrong way. Nolan getting a Golden Ticket. Lucy has accomplished more, done successful UC ops before and after she graduated FTO and is currently going on another UC but sure Nolan who was disgraced and held back gets one. Sure sure…it does for being Juarez in who I love so there is positives.

Tim telling Nolan he needs backup career when picking his assignment. LMFAO I LOVE THIS MAN.

Thank you thank you to this incredible fandom that has embraced these reviews. You all are amazing and I love every single like, comment and reblog I get. ❤️ shall see you all in 5x02 :)

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imyourbratzdoll · 2 years

Note

Hi can you write Chris angst with happy ending, where the reader is younger than him and not from the US, Chris and reader have a fight and he says something he didn't mean, bc the reader didn't have anyone to go to so she went to chris' mom's house and tell her about the fight. Thank youu!

hello! I hope you enjoy this, this was probably the longest thing I've written as well, haha. thank you for sending it in!

warning - angst, happy ending.

the gif I use isn't mine, dividers by @newlips and @firefly-graphics

While Chris is away at work, I usually stay at his house, which he says is mine. I make sure it’s spotless before he comes home. I look after Dodger and take him for walks. When I know Chris will be home, there’s always a hot plate of food ready for him and a nice cold beer. I have to admit. It was hard to get acquainted in a country I didn’t know that well. I was thankful for Lisa as she helped a lot.

The hardest thing about dating a well-known actor was the fans once they found out I was much younger than Chris. It was on, they’d try and make my life a living hell, and they made sure it was known I wasn’t deserving of a man like Chris Evans. But to them, no woman was unless it was themselves.

Chris has been distant lately. We used to talk all the time while he worked. Facetime, calls, texts. You name it, and we did it. But recently, he’s stopped. I receive one-word answers now and no good morning or goodnight texts, no I love you’s during the day. Just nothing…

Today, I cleaned the whole house, took Dodger to his usual dog park, fed him and made dinner. Making myself look presentable for Chris. The front door slams open as I finally sit down and start a movie while cuddling Dodger. An irritated Chris storms through, and he places his things down before turning towards me. A sneer appears on his face.

“So this is what you do all day? Just sit on your ass and watch tv?” Ignoring what I’m about to say, he stalks over to the kitchen and swings open the fridge door, grabbing a beer before popping the cap off and gulping most of it down. I slowly get up, feeling my chest tighten at his words. No hug, no gentle greeting. Just bitterness, like black coffee without the milk and sugar.

I give Dodger a small pat before heading into the kitchen, where Chris is drinking a second beer, leaning against the counter and glaring at the hot food on the stove. I nervously pick at my nails, carefully walking towards Chris and placing a soft hand on his arm. My mouth opens as I’m about to speak, but Chris’s head snaps toward me, and the harsh glare on his face causes me to flinch back.

“Can’t you just fuck off already?! You’re always fucking here! Always fucking texting and calling me! You’re so fucking clingy. You called me during work and interrupted a scene! You sit around here all day and do fucking nothing! I do all the fucking work, and I can’t even come home and get a fucking break!”

“I–I…” I try to blink away, the tears forming. Chris backs me into the table as his harsh words pierce through me. Spit flying from how angry he is.

“You– you what?! Huh?! GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!” I can’t even feel my heart breaking as I take off. I don’t see Dodger running into the room and practically tackling his dad whilst barking. Everything is a blur, and I quickly run out of the house, not even daring to take a car, as that’ll just add to Chris’s hatred.

I’ve been running for a while, not knowing where I’d end up as I didn’t have anyone. My feet managed to take me to Lisa’s house, and I anxiously waited at the front door after knocking, thinking that maybe coming here wouldn’t be a good idea. I mean… What if she hates me too? What if I’m just a burden and I should just leave and never turn back, but before I can turn and try and find my way, the door opens.

“Y/n?” Lisa’s eyes widen at the sight of me before quickly ushering me in. I didn’t even notice I was crying or that my feet were bleeding, “oh dear, what happened?” I’m so spaced out that I don’t notice her leading me over to the couch and sitting me down. As Lisa returns with hot chocolate, a blanket is wrapped around my shivering form. Once she sets it down, she looks me over and takes my hand.

My mouth opens and closes for a while as I try to find the words. “I– uh, Chris… He came home….” I slowly take a sip of the drink in my hand, even though my stomach is in knots, and I feel like I’ll throw up at any minute. Lisa patiently waits for me to continue, knowing I need some time for my head to wrap around all of it. “He’s been distant lately and– and he came home, said something about how I do nothing all day, and then, he disappeared to the kitchen. Already two beers in when I reached him….” I break out into a sob. Lisa’s hand connects with my back and gives it a rub.

“He– he, uh, said a lot of things… Mean things, and he told me to get out, so I ran, and this is where I ended up. I’m so sorry, Lisa. I’m bothering you.” I go to stand, but she quickly pushes me down before giving me a motherly hug.

“You’re never a bother, dear. My son shouldn’t have said or reacted like this, and I’m sorry for how he’s treated you. Now come on, let’s run you a bath and then you can sleep in the guest bedroom.” She stands, holding her hand out, and once I grab it, she leads me to the guest room before she heads into the bathroom, running the bath for me. Once she thinks it’s perfect, she comes out and informs me, and I head in. I strip down and hand her my clothes before relaxing in the tub.

As I sit there, the day catches up to me. A tear falls, and then another, until a full sob leaves my lips. I place my head into my hands at the feeling of heartbreak. My hand runs down my face. The stress of it all is visible on my face. I’m broken out of my daze when there’s a knock on the door, “I’ve placed a clean pair of clothes on the bed. If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to ask, dear.” I mutter a thank you, deciding to get out and sleep the pain away.

I dried off and changed into the clean clothes put out for me before crawling under the covers, regretting sleep as my night was filled with nightmares. Waking up every two hours, sweat covering my forehead as a new nightmare has appeared. Soon the sun rose, and so did I, even more exhausted than I was before, slowly rising from the bed and pushing the covers off of me. I leave the room and head down to where Lisa is.

I stand in the doorway, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I wish her a good morning. She spins, and her eyes widen at my state before she rushes over, “oh dear.” Her arms wrap tightly around me, I want to cry, but it feels like there’s nothing left. “Come, sit. I’ve made breakfast.” For a while, we talk and get things done around the house. It’s around the afternoon when we hear a knock on the door. Lisa lays a hand on my knee, excusing herself before going toward the front door.

My heart starts to race as I hear his voice. He seems to be pleading with his mother. I slowly stand before making my way over there, placing a gentle hand on Lisa’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Lisa, thank you.” She looks at me, and I nod, turning toward Chris as she leaves. His appearance is horrible, bags under his eyes, his eyes are bloodshot and puffy, and tears are rolling down his face.

“What do you want?” My arms cross, knowing I look just as horrible as him. His heart breaks even more at the sight. He goes to reach out, but I flinch away, and Chris feels his world shatter.

“I– I made a mistake. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t in the right, and I took it out on you, baby. I’m so so sorry. Please forgive me.” At this point, big fat tears were leaving his pretty blue eyes. He continues to plead, beg, anything and everything, but my heart hurts too much to forgive him.

“I, uhm… think we should take a break for a while. It hurts too much to forgive you right now….” I bite my lip hard, trying not to break out into tears. “I’ll come to pick my things up later….” Chris’s mouth drops open as he begs for this not to happen, but my mind has been made up. The distance was one thing that went on for months, but the fight that’s what pushed this.

Chris watches as Y/n packs all of her things, both hearts breaking. Chris regretted everything the minute the words left his mouth, hell, even when he was distancing himself. Dodger hasn’t come close to him since then, but the moment the dog saw you, he was all over you, licking you and giving you attention. He hasn’t left your side since. Chris felt his world slipping through his fingers.

God, he wished that he had talked to you. He wished he talked about how stressed he was instead of distancing himself, and he wished that he didn’t let his co-workers or fans get to his head about how you were much younger than him, that you were taking him for granted. That one day, you’d look at him and realise you could do so much better, god. Chris wished he could go back and slap himself for being so stupid.

Once you got everything, you started to head out the door. You were saying a long goodbye to Dodger before you stood and looked at Chris. You get on your tippy toes and place a gentle kiss on his cheek, pulling back and looking into his eyes. “I will always love you, and I’m sorry it had to end this way.”

A tear fell from the pair's eyes as one lover walked away from the other, not knowing they wouldn’t meet again for another couple of months.

During the time they were apart, Chris retired and decided to give therapy a try. Every day, he regrets it, choosing to spend time with family, not once looking for a relationship because he felt a piece of him was missing. Right now, Chris was at the store picking up some food. His relationship with Dodger took some time to heal.

Y/n, well. She decided to go back home for a while, needing to be around her family as she was so heartbroken. Just recently, she moved back to Boston because even though being with her family was lovely, she felt as though Boston was her home, but she still was missing a piece of her. Right now, she’s at the store because her fridge is empty.

The two soulmates didn’t realise they’d meet again.

Y/n goes to reach for a tub of ice cream, and at the same time, so does Chris. Their hands touch and they quickly jerk them away.

“Sorry”

“No– no, I’m sorry.”

Brows furrowed as the voice sounded familiar. They turned to look at each other, and that feeling of emptiness was suddenly filled when their eyes locked. Chris’s face goes red as he gestures to the ice cream, and Y/n grabs it whilst also grabbing another and carefully handing it to him.

They stand awkwardly for a moment, both trying to figure out the right thing to say.

“So… How’ve you been?” Y/n decides to start it off simple, feeling her heart hurt from how much she’s missed him, not the him she unfortunately saw but the one she fell in love with.

“Yeah, good, good. I– uh, retired and started therapy. How have you been?” Chris rubs the back of his neck as Y/n’s eyes widen.

“You retired?” He nods, explaining that he thinks it was time and that he’s been spending more time with his family. “I’ve– uhm. I’ve been good. I decided to move back, as you can see.” They and everyone else can feel the awkward tension, the ex-couple not knowing how to react.

Chris clears his throat before gesturing, “well– it was good seeing you, I should.” Y/n nods, agreeing. They start to separate ways for the second time, and god, is it heartbreaking for the two. At the same time, they turn and face one another before their items are dropped, and they move toward each other, Chris opening his arms and scooping her up as their lips meet.

It looks like something out of a movie to outsiders but to these two. It was like the piece that was missing was finally found.

They pull back for air, and their eyes are full of tears. “I’m so sorry. I’m such a fucking idiot. I never stopped loving you, and I should’ve talked to you instead of being an ass.” Y/n wipes the tear that falls from his eyes. Leaning forward, she places another kiss against his lips.

“I forgave you a long time ago, bubs, and I did say I will always love you.” We stare into each other’s eyes for a while until we both break out into laughter.

“We’ve become one of those cheesy romance movies, haven’t we?”

“Yeah, yeah, we have.”

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

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lovelettersforthedamned · 7 months

Text

Happy Birthday! From, Your Girls.

--genre + trope: ANGST, hurt/NO COMFORT, fluff in the beginning, saw (safe for work)

--pairing: joel miller x f!reader

--word count: 4.5k

--summary: you cannot wait to celebrate joel's birthday as he's surrounded by family, but plans are cut short due to a mysterious virus going around town.

--warnings: fluff (barely), ANGST, hurt/NO comfort, outbreak day, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATHS, descriptions of injuries, weapons, violence, reader is the same age as joel, canon divergence, proposal, reader is a mom to sarah (not her birth mom).

--gif credits: @elysean

Joel was never a birthday person if there is even a word for that. It’s not that he hated his birthday, he just wasn’t a celebratory type of guy. When Sarah came into his life, it changed things. There was a whole new person in his life to love and cherish, and most importantly celebrate. Sarah made it worth it. Then, you randomly showed up. You love to celebrate everything and anything, even the little things. There was no goal Sarah scored in soccer left ignored, and of course, no birthday left without a special something for the person involved.

Joel was called into work early this morning, too early, but you figured this would happen. After he fell asleep last night, you snuck out from his hold to place sticky notes on places you knew he’d find them. There was a sticky note on his toothbrush, right on top of his pile of work shirts in the dresser, and the last one placed right on his keys. Each of them had a sweet note on it, followed by a messy little heart placed right at the bottom. He smiled to himself as he pockets two of them, and places the third in his wallet, next to a Polaroid of you and Sarah.

In the picture, you have the widest smile painted on your face. He remembers taking it on your Christmas trip to Boulder last year. The snow is falling and you hugging Sarah tight due to both of you almost falling over in the slick terrain. He finds himself staring at it for a while, reminiscing about the tender moment shared between the three of you. He puts the photo back in his wallet and runs back upstairs to give you both a peck on the forehead before grabbing a banana and heading out to work.

A few hours pass before your alarm goes off to take Sarah to school, slowly rising from your bed to look at the sun gleaming in through the window. You quickly get ready for the day before heading to Sarah’s room to check if she’s awake. Knocking before coming in, you greet her with a grin before embracing her with a tight hug. “Good Morning, love bug! You almost ready to head downstairs?” You ask, already making your way towards her door.

She responds with a nod, “Yep, is Dad already gone?”

“Yeah, he got called into work early, but I think he should be home before 6 today,” You add, “We’ll have dinner with Uncle Tommy tonight when Dad comes back.” She nods her head as you make your way downstairs into the kitchen. Pulling out the eggs, you hear the front door open. Whipping your head behind you, you see Tommy walk through the living room and sit at the table.

“Did you wish your brother a happy birthday?” Turning around, you ask with your hand on your hip.

“What did you get Joel? Theoretically speaking.” He responds, ignoring your question.

You look back at him in shock and confusion, “Don’t you think it’s a little late to be asking me that question?”

He raises his hands in surrender, “I said theoretically!”

Before you could reply, you hear Sarah’s footsteps descend the stairs, “You really didn’t get him a present?”

“Once again, I said theoretically…Did you get him a present?” He squints his eyes, questioning the teen.

“Of course I did,” she retorts back, “Because I’m a good daughter.”

Shaking your head you hand Sarah her plate of scrambled eggs, “Okay, okay. Eat your breakfast before you’re late for the bus.”

You sit with the both of them as you take this moment in. Knowing what Sarah’s birth mom did, you were hesitant to let Joel introduce you to Sarah and Tommy. It’s not that you knew that you would leave, it was that you were scared that they thought you were going to. Of course, Sarah was timid with you in the beginning, she didn’t want to get hurt, and you understood that. The process of relearning for Sarah was slow but steady. Now that you’ve been with Joel for five years and some change, she knew you were here to stay. She’s growing up with you, and you were so happy to be there to witness it all.

The honking of the school bus woke you from your thoughts as you gathered her backpack and water. “Bye Mom, bye Uncle Tommy! Love you!”, she yells as she swiftly walks to the door.

You raise your hand to wave her goodbye, “Bye love bug! I love you too!”

…

Hours pass as you finally get to sit on the couch. You’ve been running around the house all day cleaning and decorating for when Joel comes back home. You didn’t do anything too extravagant, knowing that Joel isn’t particularly fond of flashy things. Just a simple handmade poster with a ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FROM YOUR GIRLS (AND TOMMY)’ written across it and his present wrapped and placed on the table. You made a photobook of all the pictures you had of Joel, including ones with occasional guests. Sarah was in most of them with him, along with Tommy. At the end of the book, there's a page-long letter addressed to him, filled with adoration for the man you’ve been able to share your life with. Looking at the clock nearby, you see that it’s already time for Sarah to arrive home from school. As if on cue, you see the yellow bus roll to a stop in front of the driveway. And outcomes Sarah, making her way to the door.

She sees the poster first, staring at it for a second. “Oh no, does it look ugly?” You worry.

She quickly turns towards you, “No! No, not at all. I think it’s really cute, Dad will love it.”

“You think so?” asking her.

Making her way towards you, ditching her backpack in the process, she cuddles up next to you, “I know so,” she confirms, “Even if he hated it, he wouldn’t tell you because he loves you so much.”

“Oh like that is supposed to make me feel better,” rolling your eyes sarcastically.

You pass the time by talking about Sarah’s present to him, helping her with her homework, and preparing dinner. Two hours pass before you both turn your head to the sound of the door being unlocked. Ditching the homework entirely, you and Sarah run to greet Joel as soon as he steps into the home. At the same time, you hug him. Enveloping him in a group hug so strong, he almost topples over. Scattered greetings ‘Happy Birthday’ are flowing throughout the room. While smiling he replies, “Thank you girls…God I’ve missed you both.” He pulls back to see the poster taped to the wall and smiles again. This was all you needed, Joel and your little girl all together. “Where’s Tommy?” Joel wonders out loud as he pulls away.

“I think he’s on his way,” you reply, “With a cake.”

“Darlin’, I didn’t need a cake.” He argues.

Furrowing your eyebrows together in confusion, “Of course, you need a cake, it’s your birthday for God’s sake!”

Sarah butts in, “Saying that you don’t need cake on your birthday is like saying a plant doesn’t need water, it’s wrong.”

A breathy chuckle leaves his lips, “Yeah…I guess you’re right baby girl.”

Joel goes upstairs to change and get comfortable for dinner, and now apparently cake, to his surprise. While he’s changing, Tommy walks in with no cake in hand. Seeing him empty-handed you speak, “Hey, where’s the cake?”

He sighs and shakes his head slightly, “Fuck, I forgot it, but give me fifteen minutes and I’ll come back with-”. He gets interrupted by Joel coming down the stairs.

“Happy birthday brother,” he says as he brings Joel in for a hug.

As Joel pulls away he also notices the lack of cake and a guilty look on Tommy’s face, “Hey, it’s okay. I think we still got ice cream in the freezer.”

You all walk towards the kitchen and help yourselves to the dinner you’ve made. The night is full of stories of Joel when he was a teenager that you’ve probably heard a dozen times before, but you don’t care. Joel and Tommy are going back and forth, throwing their heads back in laughter as a few swear words are dropped at the dinner table. Followed by a light-hearted, ‘Don’t say those words, they’re bad’ spiel directed to Sarah as she rolls her eyes. The energy between the four of you was warm and comforting. Nearing the end of the night, the lights are off, except for the flickering candle placed in the middle of a bowl of ice cream. Off-tune singing was all that was heard throughout the hallways of the home, followed by the cheers and whistles when Joel blew out the flame.

Joel decided not to open presents in front of everyone, he always thought it was so awkward, so after a while of lounging at the table, Sarah headed upstairs. Another few minutes pass by before Tommy decides he's ready to head out as well, not before wishing his brother another ‘Happy Birthday’ and an embrace for the both of you. As you wave Tommy goodbye, you turn towards the birthday boy and give him a small peck, “Did you have a good day today?”

“I spent it with my family,” he grins, “How could I not have a good day?” He shuts the door and leads you to the couch, slightly groaning as he sinks into it. Swinging his arm over your shoulders, he pulls you in tighter. “Thank you for today.” He says quietly.

You nuzzle into his neck, “Of course, my love. Any reason to celebrate with you, I will do with pride.” He looks down at you as you look up at him, traveling through each detail of his irises as you take him in. Joel leans in closer to lock his lips onto yours. There is no hidden intention of taking it further, he just wants to be with you in the most intimate way possible. You’ve been so kind to him, and he finds that words aren’t enough to express that. You pull away as he drags a blanket across your body, kissing the crown of your head in the process. He reaches for the outline of his left pocket to grab the ring box and make sure it’s still there. He’s never been good at making romantic plans, he usually leaves that to you, so as he sits there he decides that he could wait one more night before asking the question. Choosing to savor the quiet life he’s built with you. You don’t know how long you stay like that before you doze off, Joel quickly follows as well.

…

Joel wakes up first, the distant sounds of commotion ring in his ears. Fluorescent lights flash through the window as he turns to look outside. The cul de sac is quiet, but the loud sounds of aircrafts above start to stir you awake.

You look towards the clock to see it’s only two in the morning. “What’s going on?” There is a hint of worry in your voice.

Joel responds as he rises from the comfortable position on the couch, “I’m not sure, go get Sarah.” There was a sense of urgency in his voice, not helping your now panicked state.

Nodding, you run up to Sarah’s room. She was already awake and peering out her window. Without leaving her spot by the window, she turns towards you, “Mom, what’s happening?” You walk towards her, looking with her to see if you can get a better view of whatever was occurring outside the safe walls of your home.

“I’m not sure baby,” you shrug, “Just put your shoes on, Dad’s downstairs.” She puts her shoes on as you make your way down to Joel. He’s looking at the TV before he looks at you two. The screen shows a message saying, ‘NATIONAL ALERT. PRIMARY ENTRY POINT SYSTEM ISSUED AN EMERGENCY ACTION NOTIFICATION’. The first sentence was all Joel needed to start moving.

He grabs whatever he can and puts it into a nearby duffle bag he found in the closet. He even grabs his pistol from a high cabinet in the hallway, checks for bullets, and shoves it into the waist belt of his jeans. While Joel is running around the living room, you put your shoes on and take a glance over at Sarah. She’s staring out at the front yard, breathing heavily. You look at what she could possibly be staring at, and you witness the impossible. Your elderly neighbor is fully sprinting out of her house, blood covering the entire front of her nightgown. “Joel!” You shout.

He focuses on you and your wide eyes, then directs his attention to the commotion outside. The woman, standing in the middle of the street in a crooked stance, her mouth was agape and seemed to have strings reaching out of it. There was nothing to explain what was going on, but Joel’s mind was focused on one thing, and that was to keep his girls safe. “Stay here,” Joel says sternly. As soon as those words leave his mouth, it seems to have grabbed the attention of your neighbor outside. She starts to walk slowly, creeping towards the house, then she breaks into a sprint towards your home. All you can do is start to brace to sprint before a truck slams into the older woman and kills her instantly. Sarah hides her face in your chest, unable to process what just happened. Still observing the scene in front of you, you realize the man in the truck was Tommy. He yells out for Joel, then your name, then Sarah’s. You run outside to meet him on the passenger side of the vehicle, a shotgun in his arms. You quickly usher Sarah into the backseat to avoid her seeing the body lying just in front of Tommy’s car. Quickly following her inside, the brothers hop in the front before driving away.

Sarah is still at your side, clinging onto you as if you’ll slip away if she lets go. Joel’s gruff voice echoes through the car, “What the hell is goin’ on?”

“I don’t know,” he replies, “But it’s not lookin’ good. People are running throughout the neighborhood. The old woman outside your house isn’t the only one who’s like that. They’re sayin’ it’s a parasite, some kind of virus.”

You’re suddenly very conscious of your body, and how you’re feeling. “How do you know if you’re sick?” You speak up for the first time since being in the car. You’re met with the sickening silence from both men up front.” How do you know-”, you raise your voice slightly before being cut off by your boyfriend.

“We’re not infected. We’re not.” He states, plain and simple, like this would fix all the worries plaguing your mind.

Rivers of break lights flood your eyes. “Looks like everyone had the same idea, fuck!” Tommy yells.

Joel interjects, “Just cut through the field and we’ll rejoin it further ahead.” He didn’t know if his plan would work, it just kept them moving.

Tommy turns his wheel to drop abruptly into the grass beside the highway. You look behind you to see that a few cars had the same idea as you speed towards anywhere but here. Words spoken between Joel and Tommy start to drown out as you look at Sarah, who is now holding onto your waist. Tears well up and cling to your waterline. Waves of confusion and anxiety dance throughout your body. Everything happened so suddenly and with such violent action that you almost forget what was being celebrated hours before.

You caress Sarah’s head as you look out the window. There’s more noise surrounding you as you realize you’re heading towards town. A few people run past the car frantically, trying to escape the terrors of what’s happening outside. A few turned into crowds, all around the truck trying to escape people that looked similar to your neighbor. On the main street, you had the perfect view of the worst of it. Some cars had crashed into street lights, bodies splayed all across the sidewalk, and fires erupting from the buildings lined up on the side of the road. A steady flow of planes fly above you, the slightest gap in between each of them. Everyone had the same idea, escape the area as fast as possible with no guarantee of safety at the destination ahead.

Tommy is trying his best to avoid the people scattered on the pavement, struggling to escape the infected while also avoiding moving cars like Tommy’s in the process. Unlike his brother, Joel doesn’t seem to care about the people in the way, telling Tommy to keep going.

Suddenly a flood of people began to run towards the car, prompting Tommy to put the gear in reverse and make his way back to find a quick escape in an alley. In the distance, one of the planes taking off suddenly loses control, quickly descending as it makes its way towards the truck. Tommy quickly shifts gears again and slams onto the pedal, trying to make it as far away from the plane as possible before it touches the ground. A bright explosion lights up the crowd behind you before debris hits the side of the truck and topples the car.

Your vision flashes as you fight unconsciousness. The sound of someone calling your name…not just someone...Joel? Or Tommy? Or Sarah. You try to blink back the hazy feeling creeping up on you…

“Get her out,” the voice sounded muffled like you were underwater. The speaker is not registering in your mind. You feel your body being pulled in some direction. You groan as you push yourself from the person's grasp, “Don’t you dare, darlin’.” Joel. You allow yourself to be pulled from the ground.

That's when you snap back to reality. You shoot up from the ground, pain flaring in your head and on your side, “Where’s Sarah?” Your voice comes out raspy and sharp.

“M-mom!” Sarah cries out to you Sarah is standing close behind Joel and Tommy. As she’s slightly leaning her weight onto one foot while the other lays limp.

“What happened?” You demand, now panicked.

The group starts walking before you can get a definitive answer from Joel, “We have to keep moving, c’mon!”

Commotion still rang out from every direction as you tried to hustle your way out of there. You didn’t dare look down at your side, not when there were bigger problems, including your daughter’s inability to walk. Joel realizes the severity of Sarah’s injury and picks her up as she holds on tight to her dad’s neck. Tommy is leading the group through side streets while Joel is behind him, leaving you at the end. Maybe this was for the better, you didn’t want Joel to see your now bleeding side. There is enough going on, you didn’t need to add to the list.

As you’ve finally made it into a clearing in a field, that’s when the fatigue of it all catches up to you. Your breathing is heavy and rough, and it feels like your limbs have weights attached to them, slowly pulling you to the earth. You’ve been holding your side to alleviate the pain, but it has done nothing. Joel and Tommy are occupied, their backs are turned trying to figure out what comes next in their hectic plan to get all of you somewhere safe. “Jo-Joel?” The weakest voice leaves you. They both turn, Joel still holding Sarah in his arms, as they witness you bend at the knees and fall to the ground.

“Woah, woah, woah-Hey!” Tommy yells out.

Joel is the first one to make it to you, kneeling near your head and holding it. Sarah forces herself away from Joel and sits right next to your abdomen. She glances to the deep gash starting right above your hip, and ending an inch away from your navel. She calls for her dad quietly before gathering his attention to the wound. Seeing you in this state set Joel off in a panic, “Oh, my god…What happened? What happened darlin’, what happened?” Tommy has been standing near you, acting as a protector while also paying close attention to your actions. Your eyes are barely open, but you can see the situation perfectly clear. You weren’t going to make it.

Taking in a sharp and shaky breath you mutter, “Sarah, Joel…I love- I love you both, so-so much. Thank you.” Tears prick your eyes, knowing this will be the last moments with your family. You turn your head to Tommy who is now looking at you, “Thank you,” an abrupt gasp escapes, “thank you.”

Joel and Tommy realize that there’s nothing they can do, but Sarah has a harder time grasping that. Her voice laced with sobs call out for you, “Mom, please…please don’t go-please!”

You reach up for her face and caress her cheek, glancing at her tired frame, “Being your mom was the best thing I’ve ever done love bug, I will love you for forever and ever.” You realize another person is leaving her for good, and that breaks your heart a million times over again. “I am so sorry, I love you so much.” Another apology, maybe it’s not your fault you’re leaving, but this little girl has been through too much at such a young age.

It was your turn to say your goodbyes to Joel, but he cuts you off, “Darlin’ before you say anything, I’ve been meaning to do this for a long time, but I’ve been too god damn scared. This is never what I wanted when I thought of when I’d do this, but I need to do this right now.” He reaches for the same square box he felt a few hours before, but this time he pulls it out and opens the box. Your eyes fall to ring, then rise to meet his gaze. Joel begins to speak again, not before a tear falls from his eye, “There was not a moment from when I first met you to now where I didn’t think I was going to marry you. You love, and you love unconditionally, and that is something not only I needed, but what Sarah needed as well. God, we love you so much and I can’t picture a moment further where we aren’t husband and wife. Will you marry me?”

You use the last of your strength to nod weakly as you raise your left hand. Joel slips the ring delicately on your finger as he smiles amidst a sob. Leaning in he presses a passionate yet soft kiss to your lips, he’s able to kiss his wife for the first time. Pulling back he’s noticed your breathing has slowed and you don’t open your eyes. The hand held by Sarah lays limp in her palm. “Darlin’-I’m…F-FUCK,” he screams. He rests his forehead on yours and mutters endless apologies, hoping somehow you could hear them, “C’mon (Y/N), please,” His voice breaking, “Please don’t leave us. Don’t leave me.”

There’s a moment that passes where Joel can’t hear anything around him, a high-pitched ringing floods his surroundings. He lost you, and he can never get you back. He thinks he’s a failure, a burden, a bad husband. That’s all he can think about as Tommy is trying to get him up, “Joel! Joel, I’m sorry, but we have to keep moving, I am so sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah…okay,” Joel places one last lingering kiss on your forehead before pulling Sarah back in his arms. Sarah still has tears bordering her lash line, threatening to spill. They only make it a few feet ahead before they’re met face-to-face with a man in a military uniform.

His weapon is pointed directly at Tommy, “Put the gun down, now!”

Tommy lowers his gun and drops it to the floor, yet the man ahead of them still has his drawn and finger hovering over the trigger. This time it was Joel’s turn to speak up, “We are not infected. We are not-”. A bullet interrupts his sentence. They both duck down as they figure out if anyone was hit. A whimper from Sarah answers that question.

She’s in shock by the time Joel lays her on the ground and Tommy quickly picks up his shotgun and shoots the man dead. “No, no, no, no…not you too, please no,” Joel pleads. He pushes on her stomach where the bullet entered only to realize that it went straight through. The pain starts to seep into Sarah’s senses now and makes it even harder to keep applying pressure, even though it won’t help. This feels like deja vu for Joel, except he knows this has happened before because he can see your body as he glances back toward town. Joel feels like he can’t speak, all he can say is ‘I love you’ over and over again. Making it known that he’s always loved and will continue to love his daughter. Her breathing is shallow and fading fast. He can feel his daughter’s light slip from his hold until she’s completely dark, eyes staring into the night sky with such dullness. Joel flickers his gaze all across her face, looking for a sign of her to come back, but he finds nothing. “Sarah, baby-oh god. No!” He screams for the second time tonight. He lifts her toward his chest and cries out in sheer pain. He lost both of his girls tonight, and he doesn’t know what to do now.

Picking her up, he carries Sarah over to where you lay in the grass. Tommy follows closely behind, a weight present in the way he walks. Joel carefully places his little girl right next to you and closes Sarah’s eyes. He stands back up to look at you both. To Joel, you guys fell asleep in the grassy field, cuddled together as you soaked in the stars. To Joel, he spent his birthday with you and Sarah, ending the night in this field. He’d take a picture of your sleeping forms and replace the picture in his wallet with this one. To him, he started the day with his daughter and girlfriend asleep and ended the day with his daughter and wife asleep.

--author's note: i...am so sorry, i cried while writing this LOL. the last paragraph killed me if i'm being completely honest, like woah. pls don't forget to like, comment, and reblog! SUPPORT YOUR WRITERS PLEASEEE. okay thank you so much for reading this, take care of yourself ily bye.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller fic #hbo tlou #tlou #joel tlou #f!reader #ANGST #so sad #joel miller angst #joel miller hurt #joel miller oneshot #pedro pascal #pedrito #light fluff #heavy angst #sarah tlou #tommy tlou

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