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bubbledumbbinch · 3 years

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Heya! Congrats on the 100+ followers!! Your writing is really good and I enjoy reading your works!

If you dont mind, what would be your headcanons on the TWST dorm leaders of what prefrences they have for a S/O? Like what would they want in an S/O? (Also Im sorry if this has already been asked Im also kinda new to your blog as well ;w;)

Hii!! And thank you 🥰🥺💕 that means a lot to me!! I hope you stay and continue to enjoy yourself here!This hasn’t been asked before so I hope you enjoy!!! ;w; I hope you all enjoy I had a fun time (and a difficult time) writing this out! I think I made it too long, again ;w;

I made this SFW uwu just some fluff!!!! But please keep in mind before you follow me, I MOSTLY POST NSFW works.

Warnings: slight story spoilers for episode 5, for Idia’s part, if u squint

Pairings: Dorm Leaders x Reader

I put things under a cut for length!!

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle would probably want a partner who does well in school - at least someone who tries to! It would go against his own desires to do well in life if he has a partner who doesn’t have the drive to succeed like he does.

He isn’t particularly fond of people who have a lot of potential yet waste it on being lazy. Like I said before, it goes against his own morals.

I also see him wanting someone fun-loving! Riddle grew up in an environment where fun was essentially taboo so he would be drawn like a moth to a flame to someone who has so much energy in them. Remember one of his best childhood friends is Che’nya so he would probably not hate the idea of joking around and being silly once in a while!

Someone who would love sweets like him! Not too often so he could maintain his shape, but someone who would love to indulge him once in a while!

Riddle would love to see an S/O who makes time for him and the unbirthday parties that Heartslabyul hosts! He feels like a good dorm leader and seeing you make an effort to come makes him feel like a great boyfriend too!

“Ah, Y/N, I was afraid you wouldn’t be able to make it today.” Riddle sighed to himself in relief. He feared his rose would come to the party late. “Ah, sorry Riddle! I was late because I was studying for Professor Crewel’s exam but I lost track of time!” You breathed out, a bit exhausted from running.

The redhead only nodded and smiled at you. “Don’t worry about it, my rose. We’ve only just begun the party, so no need to fret.” Riddle’s gentlemanly ways never failed to make your heart soar. “No no, I’ll make it up to you! I’ll bake you a tart sometime, you’ll let me right?” You playfully nudged at your boyfriend’s arm and smirked.

Riddle could only blush furiously. “Th-that would not be a bad idea. I suppose I would accept the gift graciously, dear, but only if we can cook it together. I believe it would be beneficial to both of us to learn!”

Leona Kingscholar

Someone who loves to nap with him like all the time

Leona would definitely want someone who is willing to praise him a lot. Growing up he never really had that and felt like he was overshadowed by his big brother, so this guy needs validation like crazy. Tell him how strong he is, how much you love him, how warm he is… he’ll scoff and look away but you could see the faintest blush on his cheeks. He secretly loves it.

I feel like Leona would like bratty tsunderes, for some reason. He would be the perfect teasing type for them and I think I can just picture Leona and his S/O getting into play fights that lead to something more, if you catch my drift.

Someone who can be “refined” enough for show so that when he brings you home to his family, they can accept you fully. The last thing he wants is his family pestering him about how his potential mate isn’t a good fit.

As tough as he may be he def wants someone at the end of the day to stroke his head and calm him down after a long and stressful day.

“Oi, herbivore, come here and be my pillow.” Leona’s gruff voice broke the silence of his room. He was sitting up on his bed while you studied on his desk. Giggling, you made your way into his bed, crawling over to where he was. Leona pushed your torso down gently and started nuzzling his head on your chest, and you could feel the vibrations coming from his body that was like a low growl. Or was it purring?

“Of course, anything for my big strong boyfriend, the best Magift player in the school, my one and only love~” you endlessly praised him, smiling at him as if he were a rare diamond. Leona only huffed as he wrapped his muscular arms around your form, effectively preventing you from leaving.

“Tch…. Damn right….” Leona mumbled. “Why don’t you tell me more while I start drifting to sleep?” Leona smirked. Running your fingers through his hair carefully, you obliged, feeling Leona’s breathing become more calm as you continued.

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul would ALSO want someone who praises him, due to his years of being bullied. Call him beautiful, smart, tell him he’s the most cunning man on campus. He EATS IT UP. This man will swear on his life for you.

He also would want someone who has the ability to work hard… what? The Mostro Lounge needs extra workers sometimes! Azul thinks that if he can own the lounge, manage contracts, AND study hard for school, his S/O should be able to match him!

I can see Azul absolutely praising/spoiling his S/O too. Since you give him so much happiness in his life he should pay it forward, no? What would you like, a new dress/suit? A new piece of jewelry?

Someone !!! Loyal!!! Azul wants someone who he can feel secure with in a relationship, so he probably wouldn’t want you to flirt with anybody else since his insecurities will SPARK UP like crazy!

Azul wants someone who loves him for who he is, unconditionally!

“Angelfish… hello, good evening. I’m sorry if I am a bit more tired than usual, I just finished with ordering more inventory for the lounge and dealing with some paperwork.” Azul sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. You dropped your bags on one of the chairs of the VIP room and walked over slowly to your octomer boyfriend. Bringing your arms to his shoulders, you slowly begin to knead and massage his arms gently. Azul groaned at the contact, muscles aching.

“How is this, Azul? I know how hard you work, you deserve to take a break too, sometimes…” you spoke gently into his ear, kissing the shell of it. The contact gave him slight goosebumps. “Ah, I would love to but, I have so much more to do… I know it’s going to be a late night for me, so why don’t you head on to sleep?” You tsked, upset with his answer. “I know it’s late Azul, that’s why I’m here. You know, if you keep doing this you’ll get wrinkles, right?”

“Ahem! Well. Then, this might be a good place to stop if that’s the case…” Azul huffed, standing up quickly to retire to his room, you in tow.

Kalim Al-Asim

Kalim wants someone who is cheerful! They may not be a ray of sunshine like he is, but I honestly can’t picture him with someone smug/gloomy. Kalim might be dense but he isn’t THAT stupid. I think he would be able to notice if you were upset which makes him upset.

Someone who is down for anything, Kalim would love to take you on a ride on his magic carpet at random hours of the day so be prepared to drop whatever you’re doing if you want to appease your impulsive boyfriend!

A fun loving person for sure, who isn’t super self conscious about what people think. If he asks you to dance with him he would really love for you to join! He wouldn’t want you to say something like, “oh, but I’m a bad dancer…” Kalim would shake his head and ask you why you would say that! It’s all about having a fun time together, right?

A patient lover is what Kalim would want as well, someone who’s kind, too. At the end of the day when Kalim is ready to sleep after his crazy antics, he wants a partner he can be able to lay next to and feel like himself.

Someone who loves him even if he weren’t rich, Kalim would want someone for their personality and not materialistic things or beauty. Kalim sees someone for their heart ! (*´꒳`*)

You yawned heavily while rubbing your eyes. Was that a tapping noise coming from the window? “Ugh…. What time is it?” Checking your phone, you saw it was 1:30am. You also had a text from Kalim.

*tap tap tap*

You groggily walked over to the window and opened the curtains to see Kalim sitting on his magic carpet with the biggest grin upon seeing you. Opening the window, you giggled lightly. “Good evening Kalim, fancy seeing you here so late.”

“Hi, Y/N!! I woke up and felt bored so, you wanna join me on a night ride around campus?” Kalim practically beamed at you, even this late at night. His smile never failed to make your heart flutter. The boy’s positive energy also transferred to you, effectively waking you up.Stepping onto the carpet from your window was your answer. After getting situated, you kissed Kalim’s cheek and held his hand. “Of course Kalim, I would love to.”

Vil Schoenheit

Someone who can tough out his callous words and treatment. Vil might be a bit much, but the reason why he does this is because he does it with the goal of ultimately helping you. He only wants to see the best out of people, including but not limited to his little sweet potato!

Someone who is patient. He knows he checks who the most beautiful person is quite often and he doesn’t do it to annoy you, it’s just for his own personal validation issues. Lay a hand on his arm, back, or head to give him praises and let him know he’s beautiful to you no matter what.

Someone who is willing to pepper him lightly with kisses (not the face though, he has makeup on!). He definitely eats it up and loves it so much, he feels like you are treating him like a king. He’ll pay that back tenfold and give you beauty treatments, it’ll feel like you’re at the spa on a weekday!

Vil is constantly posting on Magicam, depending on whether you’re comfortable enough to be posted on there he would want to make sure you are okay with him constantly taking photos to be posted on there. Whether it be food you cooked, matching couples outfits, or even pictures of you without makeup, be ready to face comments of all sorts coming from his fans.

“Mira Mira on my phone… Currently, who is the most beautiful of all?” You heard Vil speak outside of his room. Currently you sat on the small chaise at the foot of his bed. Vil told you he needed to step out for a second, so you could get ready for bed now. After putting on your sleeping clothes, Vil finally came back in, seeming more irritated than before. His eyebrows furrowed and his body looked tense.

“Vil, are you alright?” You questioned him as you made your way to his bed, slipping under the covers. Vil only sighed and exchange a quick “Mm.” as he changed into his pajamas and came to join you. He was turned so his back was facing you and he was a bit distant. You knew he didn’t get the answer he wanted when he got those search results back. You didn’t know how to convince your boyfriend otherwise but you decided you needed to talk to him.

“Vil, darling…” you spoke gently as you nuzzled closer, your chest pressing into his back. Your arm wrapped around him to pull him closer, to which he responded with finally relaxing in your touch. “You’re one of the best things that’s happened to me, Vil, I don’t know if you realize how lucky I am to have such a loving, caring, and talented boyfriend like you. Your beauty is simply the cherry on top of the person I fell in love with. To me, you’re perfect. I love you.” You ended your tangent by placing a gentle kiss on his shoulder, dozing off.

You couldn’t see Vil but he trembled lightly as tears silently fell down his face. “Thank you… I love you too, my sweet potato.” Vil whispered into his pillow. With you, he always felt like the most beautiful person.

Idia Shroud

Personality wise, I don’t think Idia would be picky. He’s a shy person and honestly would be surprised he could get an S/O at all! So is Ortho!

Speaking of Ortho, Idia wants someone who is kind and loving to his little brother. Knowing his partner loves his brother would only make him fall for you harder!

Probably someone who would give Idia his own space until he finally felt comfortable and wanted to take it further, he would prob take a few days to even kiss you!!!

Idia wants someone to be his player 2 :) like actually, come over and game with him and he’ll probably be the happiest boy ever.

Big big bonus if you love anime, cosplay, gaming, etc. It’s one thing to be an otaku like Idia but when he has a partner to fully indulge in his interests with?? It’s a win-win situation for everyone! He wants to do a couple cosplay one day if he gets the courage to ask you.

Someone who won’t pressure him too much. If you remember how Riddle pressured Idia into trying to speak publicly, you know how much of a scary situation it put Idia in, even though he was able to do it. Stressing him out is just gonna make him unhappy :(

Someone who enjoys spending as much time inside as he does! I’m not talking a hikikomori but someone who wouldn’t be opposed to staying inside with him 99.9% of the time lol

“Y-Y/N-shi, would you like to g-go on a date with me soon?” Idia fumbled with his fingers, looking away as he asked you. You raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Idia, this is the first time you asked me to ‘go on a date’. Don’t tell me, are we actually going out somewhere?!”

“Eek! D-don’t be ridiculous, Y/N!!” He almost screeched the words out. Suddenly he pulled out a couple of VR headsets with hand controllers, and handed one to you. “Fuhehe, I just made a bunch of simulation locations. We could go to the park, a restaurant, even an amusement park..!” He grinned showing off his teeth.

You giggled at Idia’s enthusiasm, loving the way he gets after speaking about his own creations. “What a wonderful idea, Idia. Maybe we could take Ortho to the ‘amusement park’ too? We’ll be a big family.” You mused. Idia’s face brightened and a faint pink tinge covered his cheeks.

“F-family, huh? Ah, Y-Y/N-shi…. That would be n-nice…” Idia blushed as he considered what the future would bring for the both of you.

Malleus Draconia

Malleus would also mostly not have preferences on a person’s personality. Like, he wouldn’t say something like: “I want someone shy vs someone bold.” Anything his child of man does is interesting to him and he’s entranced by you!

That being said, Malleus would not tolerate rudeness, disrespect to him, Lilia, or his fellow dorm mates, etc. He may love you but he values those bonds more, especially Lilia’s and his grandmother’s.

Malleus wants someone who is willing to teach him human tendencies, since he is curious about them. Malleus will also probably never stop asking you about your life in the previous world, and listen passionately as you describe the hobbies you had, family members, etc.

As long as you continue to love and treat Malleus like a normal person and with kindness, he will continue to love you endlessly. He’s so unused to it that he will feel so special as you only coo in awe instead of fear away, if he showed you a magic trick or maybe donned more of his draconic features like his tail or long claws.

You walked with Malleus under the bright moonlight in the woods near Ramshackle dorm. His height and charm never failed to impress you. And his face, he was so very handsome. His striking green eyes always made you feel hypnotized and his horns were so well taken care of, you almost wanted to reach out and-

“Hm, Child of Man… you do know it’s quite rude to stare, yes?” Malleus chuckled and suddenly broke the silence, making you gasp. “Ah, sorry Tsunotarou. I-,” searching your thoughts, you just couldn’t think of anything quickly enough. “I just couldn’t help myself. You’re very attractive.” You murmured, admitting defeat.

“Oh? Do I not intimidate you, my dear? Usually humans and even other fae fear my features and tend to shy away…” Malleus looked down in thought as he continued walking. You wrapped yourself around one of his arms as he walked, effectively stopping him in his place. “Well, you don’t intimidate me! I like being around you, so, let’s keep it that way. I want to stay with you for a long time so don’t get too tired of me okay, Malleus?”

Hearing you say his given name only made the fae’s heart beat harder in his chest. Surely you knew what you did to him. He smiled down at you, green eyes softening in your gaze.

“I assure you I won’t, little human.”

#riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #kalim al asim #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #malleus draconia #twst headcanons #twst dorm leaders #twisted wonderland x you #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #kalim al asim x reader #vil shoenheit x reader #idia shroud x reader #malleus draconia x reader

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hollyhomburg · 4 years

Text

Reasons Wretched and Divine (Pt. 7)

(Hybrid au) (YoonMinJoon x Reader) (Mafia au)

Summary: After years of abuse, you’ve all finally found each other. But for one of you- the fear still lingers, hidden in the shadows. Yoongi doesn’t want much, just a few more weeks, but he only has until the end of the summer.

Parings: Snake hybrid! Yoongi x Dog hybrid! Jimin x Dog hybrid! Namjoon x Pregnant! Reader, Platonic Vmin, allusions to 2seok,

Genre: Hybrid au, Polyamory au, Hurt/Comfort, Recovery, Pregnancy, Mafia au

Tags: Domestic abuse, references to sexual abuse- and choosing to have sex even though you’ve been through sa, physical abuse, polyamory negotiations, Post-traumatic stress disorder, mute characters, brief gore at the end, pregnant m/c, frottage, marking kink, fingering, oral f. receiving, Voyeurism, exhibitionism, implied death but dont worry I do not write MCD!!!!

A/n: just for posterity's sake! i was drunk when i posted this! enjoy! full gangbang comes in (y/n) next chapter! (oh god im going to hell).

W/c: 10.5k

Song Rec: Like Real People do ~ Hozier

~ Series Masterlist ~

2 Years Earlier

- If Jeon Jungkook where so esoterically inclined, he would write a book on how he had become the most dangerous man in the underworld. It would be a short book though; because Jungkook had only 2 rules for himself. The first was to always get up after he’d been hit during a fight (even if it took him a second) and the second was to know when to mind his own business.

- Jungkook was always able to get up after being hit, Even when he’d been a street kid, with not a penny to his name and a whole lot of anger in his mouth. ready to spit vitriol at anyone who would pause and listen. He’d always been able to get up. The pain giving him a kind of sick clarity that he eventually sought out instead of tried to escape. Jungkook could never think as clearly as he did during a fight; or when he was in pain. And that was probably because of his father.

- But whatever. That man was 6 feet under, (his mother on the other hand- no- that bitch certainly had more than one dept to pay still). He didn’t have a lot of time or energy to put into dealing with that particular trauma (why he honestly felt like sometimes- he liked being hit). Most of his energy went into staying alive. Even now- when living and surviving teetered on the same edge. Jungkook had more pressing matters to tend to than dealing with his own fragile mind.

- The way he would get up and hop around for a second to soak in the clarity after being hit during a scuffle was one of the reasons why he’d been given his street name: The Playboy Bunny; further set in stone with his tattoo of the same moniker under his left eye. A cheekbone he’d tap and say “you want to hit me? why don’t you try your luck and see how well it turns out for you.”

- He was doing reconnaissance, Sneaking around the back alley with his hood up and his glasses on- disguising his black eye that was sure to get more than a few looks from passers-by. The ears of the playboy bunny tattoo peeking out over the top of his mask.

- He keeps his eyes on the crowd waiting for some sort of handoff- to see anything at all. But he’d lost his target through the crowd and has no drive to find them in the dizzying rush of people and umbrellas. Not yet. Not when the hum of addiction lurks in his veins.

- Jungkook pauses lighting a cigarette, when a commotion to the side hidden around a corner- blurs his concentration. The world snapping back into focus when he sinks his fingernails into his palm. Terse voices. A couple fighting in the alleyway perpendicular to his.

- Minding his own business was a particular skill of his- it took one kind of person to know when to step in, and another to know which problems weren't worth the headache. And unless it involved the acquisition money or some step therein, it wasn’t a problem worth getting into in Jungkook’s opinion.

- But Jungkook can’t stop his ears from hearing snippets of conversation, a low and angry male voice. The sound of a smack. “You just had to embarrass me like that, didn’t you? First, you come out dressed like a slob and then you act like a fucking whore- I swear if I see you give eyes to another man this week I'll beat you five ways to Sunday”

- The sound of a soft female voice, so quiet- almost indistinguishable from the pouring rain, “I wasn’t-” another smack.

- Jungkook has been hit so many times he knows the sound of it, the ragged gasp the woman lets out, also quite- like even the pain takes up too much space.

- His body starts to move before his mind thinks it through as he gives up position in favor of investigating the noise. There he sees it, ivy growing up the wall next to the back exit of some restaurant. A woman, small crouching in front of a grotesque man. A baggy coat buttoned tight around her small form. hair swept back in a tight bun. Red lipstick smudged. Though you check your hands and think its blood for a moment before you remember you’re wearing it.

- Jungkook waits for a moment before he watches you stand on shaky legs. you get up.

- The rest of the underworld might be old grudges and blood feuds but Jungkook was only here to be a businessman. He didn’t have time for ego and arrogance, let alone time for altruism...

- Usually.

- He looks on for a moment, too sluggish without nicotine, but Jungkook’s lingering stare almost seems to spur the man on. He’s wearing a jacket with a military patch, a badge; some sort of congratulation for service done no doubt. and Jungkook feels his distaste for the man deepen.

- “What you looking at punk?” he slurs. Stalking forward as if to shove Jungkook. He almost wants to tut- that would be an expensive action. Jungkook wonders if the man is maybe high or drunk or both. He’s has had his fair share of experience with junkies and he knows one when he sees one.

- “Nothing, just a pig beating his girlfriend.” The man settles for shoving Jungkook back. And Jungkook lets him. You don’t look up, don’t do anything but lean to the side, like the brick wall is the only thing keeping you up. Jungkook sees the back of your hand, black and blue, the other bruises on your neck. You only make eye contact with him once. Just slightly. Barely in passing.

- You look like Jungkook used to look. He remembers in the savage bite of an open-handed slap- the fear he sees in your eyes. He looks and looks. And it aches so viscerally as Jungkook watches you go, your hurt echoes through him. You look beaten down and broken like Jungkook used too; before he’d decided he was done taking punches from people who were supposed to love him- Were supposed to care.

- (Before he realized life wasn't supposed to hurt)

- He’s never been one to feel things for other people, the empathy sparing him through most of the suffering he’s seen. It’s not that he’s unfeeling; it’s just that Jungkook’s life has forced him to feel concerned only for himself and no one else. His own survival is his first priority; Not others.

- He watches you walk away, And you don’t look back at him. Rushing to keep up with your husband's steps. He waits until you disappear into the crowd before he lifts his phone to his ear and makes a call. “Hey, I need you to flag all of the cars that leave the parking lot, they’re just a couple, should be coming to you soon.”

- Jeon Jungkook had become the most powerful man in the underworld because of two reasons; by being able to take punches, and by knowing when to mind his own business.

- But For this, Jungkook thinks he can make an exception.

- (You won't remember meeting Jeon Jungkook, but Jungkook will always remember you).

~.~

Now

-It comes as no surprise that your little speech fades after a few days and the rest of the hybrids quick to return to treating Yoongi with a mix of disdain and fear. Though mostly- this seems to be caused by Minhyung's group and the other canine hybrids. Namjoon hears them whispering about ‘favoritism’ before they catch on that he’s listening in. And in the days following your impromptu departure from the farm, you find people quiet even further whenever Yoongi's brought up. Staring when Yoongi comes close, afraid to interact with him.

- Even Jimin is greeted mostly with silence from all but a few. The bunny hybrids don’t act so skittish anymore, and the cat hybrids could care less used to sticking to their own group. Taehyung seems to have encouraged the other bear hybrids to make an actual effort and they at least say hello now. It’s better than the derisive comments of the dog hybrids, or the snooty noses stuck high in the air of the dear hybrids and other exotic breeds.

- They know Jimin is close to Yoongi and Namjoon, and now he feels even more like an outsider that before (somehow it doesn't matter as much as before). The only ones who don’t act overtly different are the new hybrids; Hoseok and the small lion hybrid. but They were never around to learn how to hate Yoongi in the first place.

- it's a little cute- the way that Hoseok will always shout Yoongi's name in greeting (though you're unsure if that's just his personality now that he's started to grow into himself). Hoseok is unbothered by Yoongi's reaction; to shy away from anything that will draw more attention to himself. But Hoseok's smile is so bright and elastic that even he has a hard time ignoring the otter hybrid. You hope there will be a friendship there eventually, that yoongi will open up to more than just your group.

- The little lion kit is a new addition too, she's not the only young feline hybrid you have at the farm but she is the friendliest. She gets pretty close to the other cats that work in the kitchen almost instantly. Probably on account of her young age (she's barely 7) and the eldest cat hybrid seems to be particularly fond of the little one.

- She's curious and kind to Yoongi too- excitedly running up to him more than once to show him a little rock or some flower she found- and yoongi will marvel and nod, and if Jimin is near- he'll lean close and tell her how pretty it is.

- She doesn't seem at all deterred by Yoongi's lack of voice. one day she even sees Jimin, her ears perking up excitedly, tail swishing. "Hello Yoonies voice!" it's a little cute- even if it does make yoongi splutter a little. But she's not exactly wrong; Jimin does talk for yoongi more these days.

- She Always comes bounding up to you and giggling happily to be picked up. Her little legs stretching around your waist, small bottom sat atop your baby bump. Making you get the kind of look that makes Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jimin sigh and look impossibly fond. They can only imagine what you’re going to be like once your little one is born. Your due date is barely 2 months away.

- In truth- you’re starting to get a little bit big. You say it one morning with Namjoon. After he asks you why you’re looking into the mirror with such a displeased expression. The sound of your terse voices alerts Yoongi and he comes to the door to your bedroom to witness your spat. Making a flippant hand movement at Namjoon to back off. Namjoon could smell your distress on you when you looked in the mirror, his voice tense but breaking. “Baby just tell me, why you think you’re not beautiful like that? let me understand. Cuz to me- you look more irresistible every day.”

- It’s not that you exactly wanted him to agree with you that you were nearing the size of a whale- but this doesn’t help at all either. His unending insistence- doesn’t he see? when he looks in the mirror doesn’t he see what you do? His instance that everything is alright doesn't help when you’re feeling this self-conscious.

- Yoongi helps you, fiddling with Namjoon’s closet for a second before he pulls out an extra-large white shirt of his and helps you into it- tying it loosely over your baby bump so that it flatters your waist a little more. The attention that Yoongi shows you clearly making you flustered. Then he drags you to the mirror, tugging your hair out of its bun, the tension going out of your shoulders.

- Yoongi doesn’t know it, but Namjoon does. Your late husband used to always be so particular about your hair, yanking on it harshly if it was left down. and An easy way to avoid him yanking on it was to leave it up. And sometimes you still pull it up convinced it’s safer even though he’s dead and gone. It’s scary how simple it is- but the second your hair comes down your whole body relaxes.

- All the while Namjoon watches from your bed. And you take in yourself, the baby hairs free-floating against your forehead; Yoongi curls one gently around his finger and then lets it go. You take in the way that the fabric hangs now, making you look a little more proportional, Yoongi gives you a satisfied smile behind your back and you have to sigh and admit it. “Okay- okay- I’ll give you this- I’m not a whale”

- “And even if you where you’d be a pretty whale.” Yoongi has the good sense to hurl a pillow in Namjoon’s direction, but it makes you laugh all the same- the heaviness in your chest abated a little. Your sleeve brushing Yoongi’s as you head downstairs, Namjoon trailing behind.

- The beach trip was a nice distraction from chores but the real work comes crashing down on them the next few days. Your little group feels closer than ever, you rarely part from any of them for long and their intention, their little acts of care never fail to make you feel flustered and taken care of.

- Jimin always holds out a hand for you to take when you’re stepping over uneven ground, Yoongi makes a startled noise whenever you so much as get close to a hose that might trip you, always gesturing for you to pause and take a break whenever you’re working in the garden. Namjoon too, always running back and forth from whatever project he’s working on to check on you and make sure you have water or food.

- At night, Namjoon takes your stretch mark cream from you, rubbing down your baby bump and your hips, the little lines of lighter skin on your waist get little kisses from him.

- Even if you want just a snack, Namjoon and Yoongi will bring you a full meal- convinced that you need to be eating more than you are. At dinner Yoongi fills up your plate- piling it high with more food then you could fit in your already crowded tummy. And he always eyes you suspiciously when you can’t finish the full plate. Namjoon too will level you with a look- asking if you really are full.

- Since your pregnancy has progressed, you’ve become a little moodier, and a little hornier whenever way the wind blows. And Namjoon doesn’t help that much at all- and by that you mean, he makes it worse. When he comes out of the field with his shirt off and tucked into his shorts all of his thickness, his muscles that make you ravenous.

- During lunch one day he drags you away to a forgotten tool shed, though it would be easier just to go up the hill to your bedroom- you feel like teenagers sneaking around like this.

- Namjoon presses into you as he hits the latch on the door, muffling your giggles with kisses as you hide from the hybrids outside, voices that you can dimly hear, unable to pick out any one particular yet- but you know they're there.

- You and Namjoon might bicker like an old married couple. But you also act like teenagers gooey and giggly and so so so in love. “Do you think that they can hear you like this? Or smell you, my love?” Namjoon is always quick to tell you how delectable you smell when you’re horny. His more sensitive nose-picking it up the second you feel a slickening between your thighs.

- You’re shaky when you respond. “I don’t know, maybe?” Namjoon always has this passionate intense air about him. He’s slightly possessive- but you’d never fault him for that not when it’s all about protecting and providing for you. Not when he always puts your pleasure first (you feel like you may have turned into a slight pillow princess with him).

- Namjoon heaves you up onto the edge of a bench and then gets on his knees. Gently lifting your leg over his shoulder. He’s always mindful of how much you can move in your swollen state. He checks to make sure he’s not bending your hips in an uncomfortable way.

- You put your hands back on the dusty bench to stabilize yourself as you lie back, Namjoon wastes no time in pressing his face close to your cunt and inhaling, His nose prodding at the thin fabric of your underwear. One of his ears caught on the hem of your dress. His fingers digging into the plushness of your thighs- so full and healthy it makes him hard in his pants.

- He’s slow with the appreciation of your thighs and hips. Hands gripping and moving on to touch and feel like you have all the time in the world. But you hear voices outside the tool shed you’ve commandeered and you could just slip out and go back up to your house- but somehow you like this better. The thought of being discovered stirring an unsure heat in your stomach.

- You can hear Taehyung's voice, and then- like a shock through your core- you hear Jimin’s. Namjoon can feel your jolt. And you realize- his sensitive ears must have known who it was before your own human ones did. He chuckles- teasing his fingers along the hem of your underwear, almost daring to slip inside.

- You almost whine when you think about what you’re being denied- the harsh pull of his fingers that you’re so addicted too, how thick his fingers and knuckles feel (almost as nice as his cock) when they pull out and push in.

- Yoongi and Namjoon have always had the most lovely hands, it’s strange that when Namjoon touches you- you think about Yoongi’s hands. The way you clench around his fingers at that has Namjoon’s tail wagging. "you're thinking about them aren't you," The way you clench around his fingers at that has Namjoon’s tail wagging. Because yeah; Yoongi and Jimin are apart of Namjoon’s pack too, and bonding and group sex are kind of the same thing to hybrids. You’d found that out the hard way when you’d found a group of cat hybrids all tangled together in the grass the other day.

- Namjoon is always so gentle with you because of your condition, but you find your hips jerking with want. His fingers still when he feels the way your wetness has spilled out the sides. His thumb pressed over your clit teasingly. “smell so good when you're like this So wet my love, are you thinking about them finding you like this?”

- “Y-yes” you confess, and Namjoon growls, nipping at you through the fabric, the feel of his teeth brushing you, over the sensitive skin. The fabric cushioning the feeling, makes you almost gush, and you know you’ll be shakily legged by the time he lets you get down. And that he won’t let you get away from him until he’s taken care of you in this way, sated you in every sense of the word.

- But he can also tell how shy you are, the heat under your skin at the thought of being discovered. always unsure how much of your dirty talk is a real want and not just something you like in theory. Namjoon knows the idea of sharing you with the others might seem like the most natural and hottest thing; to love you alongside them. but to you- a human, hybrid sex and hybrid bedroom dynamics aren't as given.

- So he leans close, sliding your underwear down your legs slowly, letting you feel the heat of his palms on your skin. You're getting worked up a little too quickly, your heaving breaths needy. God damn pregnancy hormones you'd say if you could think beyond the plush feeling of his lips pressing a kiss to your clit. “Gotta clean you up for them, if they smelled you like this- then they’d know wouldn’t they?”

- You prove Namjoons initial assumption wrong. “What if I-” you whisper- gasping quietly as Namjoon drags the fabric to the side and glides a delicate lick over your folds. “What if I want them to know?” the pleasure thrumming through your body as Namjoon licks up your slit. Namjoon stills, ears perked, eyes flashing in the half-light. The snarl against your cunt loud and echoic.

- The voices outside fall silent and Namjoon doesn't stop his ravenous licking no matter if you have to bite your lip to keep your noises in. One of your hands scrambling to pull at his hair and find something to grip onto and anchor yourself against the onslaught of pleasure. Jimin is the first one to puncture the silence, “What was that?”

- Then comes Seokjin's voice “all of you- move along- whoever it is they probably don’t want the three of you listening in like a bunch of horn dogs” which is basically a confirmation that they were listening in, and that Yoongi was there too.

- When you finally exit the toolshed with weak legs, sure you’re going to have to at least got change your underwear. You find a bleary-eyed Seokjin a few dozen feet away, obviously upwind of the toolshed. he levels Namjoon with a tired expression. “You both have dirt on your knees” Namjoon has the good sense to look shy at that. You hastily brush off the spots on his, and he on yours.

- If Jimin and Yoongi smell anything on you later- they don’t say anything and the idea that they might make you feel hot all over whenever they lean in too close. You think you see a blush on Yoongi’s face more than once, and maybe see him adjust his pants out of the corner of your eye, but Jimin seems blissfully unaware.

- You have a check-up at the doctor’s office in the coming days. And although only Namjoon is allowed in the room with you (they have a two-person maximum because the ultrasound room is tiny), Yoongi and Jimin also accompany you. Namjoon comes bounding out after, waving the picture and smiling so so wide, both Yoongi and jimin leaning in close to get a better look- they’re so enamored with the little photo. And when you get home- Namjoon shows anyone that asks how the check-up went, eventually hanging it on one of the two fridges in the kitchen.

- Jimin is the only one who seems to notice the jealous looks- because you went out for ice-cream after and come home with them still partially melting (you’d had another craving- french-fries dunked in ice cream of all things). One of the other hybrids having heard Jimin talk to Tae about the beach trip too. They come to you at the end of the day, 2 bunnies, a cat, a fox and one of the bears- a mish moshed group of hybrids; petitioning you to start the beach trips for everyone.

- You can only fit so many people into the back of your truck so you pick a day and start a raffle for spots. Jimin throws his name into the hat just in case but to his surprise, Yoongi doesn’t. No matter how much Jimin bugs him too; He won’t agree to accompany Jimin to the beach again. Shaking his head with a roll of his eyes back tipped back against the grass, his sunhat crumpled. Offering up a few sweet tomatoes to soothe Jimin’s sour nerves.

- The peace lasts for a couple of days before they’re right back to treating Yoongi like shit and for some reason, it pisses Jimin off more. No matter how many times he’s heard Namjoon asks Yoongi to please tell him when anything happens. The snake hybrid seems unable to fight back.

- Jimin asks one of the hybrids why she won’t look at Yoongi (after the snake has already gone up the hill to retrieve another dish for dinner) and beyond a startled look, she just says “none of us can smell him” she throws a stack of paper towels down onto the table angrily. The deer hybrid across from them stumbling with their silver wear But she doesn’t need to re-iterate herself. Jimin understands- it’s hard to trust someone who can lie to your face- and in the world of hybrids where emotions can be decreed from a simple sniff, Jimin can’t say he doesn’t see where they’re coming from.

- Doesn’t excuse their behavior, however. After all- Jimin can smell Yoongi’s emotions through his scent and he didn't realize that was something strange until now. To Jimin, Yoongi’s scent is soft and sweet- something gummy and soft like a marshmallow. But that’s probably because he spends so much time with the hybrid. The others only spend so much time around him and are unused to his scent. And the fact that he never talks and never tries to socialize doesn’t help.

- Jimin can’t imagine not wanting to smell more of it- not leaning in whenever the other hybrid passes. Jimin wants to bury his face in Yoongi’s neck and rub his cheek all over it. The same way that Namjoon does to him in the morning if he shows up before he’s changed from his pajamas. And he knows he smells soft like sleep- an alluring smell to the older alpha when he comes down the stairs, ears straight up eyes wide as he takes in all of Jimin's vulnerability.

- and it might have to do with what Taehyung had said- that alphas eat up that sort of thing.

- Namjoon smells good too, his scent all soft mornings and sleepy walks, the older hybrid large and so pliant in his sleepiness, eyes swollen and face puffy as he hides in Jimin’s shoulder. Sending his pine scent all over so that it sticks to jimin no matter where he is. So that jimin will smell like Namjoon all day.

- One of the cat hybrids at the sink rolls her eyes. But when you come down the stairs smelling much the same. You touch his arm so softly in passing, like you can’t believe you’re allowed. And Jimin’s senses are a dizzying blur of cream, peaches, pine, and marshmallow.

- when he goes back to the barns, hazy at being scented by Namjoon so thoroughly. Taehyung levels him with a funny look and a chuckle. "you're more devious than anyone gives you credit for" thought Taehyung means it good-naturedly- it's good to have a friend to ask how to go about flirting with. the other hybrids gathered on the couch in front of the tv; some cartoon playing- pretend like they're not listening in.

- "How do you know so much when you don't have a pack of your own Tae?" he asks over breakfast, the two of them clutching breakfast burritos on their way to check Tae's bees. Tae doesn't meet Jimin's eyes "you're just lucky- most hybrids dont find a pack so easily Jimin" his words aren’t jealous- only a little patronizing. And Jimin accepts it because he knows he has a lot to learn.

- Taehyung is right- out of all of the hybrids at the farm, there are only a few who have paired up or even made stronger groups or multi-person packs. the bunnies and the cats don't form set generally- though there are a few pairs and more than a few throuples.

- Jimin as caught Yeonjun making out with a tabby more than once- has learned to avoid certain sections of the woods all together because everyone knows that's where the bunny hybrids like to go in the afternoons. The canine hybrids are the only ones who have packs, though there are more than half a dozen loners like jimin and namjoon.

- It's hard for Jimin to cohabitate with them even though there are other larger predators and more than a few prey hybrids living in Jimin's barn. he hadn’t really realized until taehyung pointed it out that each different pack occupied one corner of the punk room. More than once- the room in the barns has felt hostile if only for the packs that have claimed either corner of the bunkroom. it's usual to wake up and find more than one of the pups cuddling with another in one single bed.

- Having reciprocated love in his pack shouldn't feel like an impossibility to Jimin. But still, when Yoongi steps close- an inch too far away, his fingertips barely brushing- Jimin just- yearns. It’s a soft sort of yearning, the kind that has jimin jumping up whenever Yoongi needs something. Has him settling a think knit blanket over Yoongi’s nobly knees during movie nights, and sticking his own feet underneath the edge of the blanket. Feet Pressed to the clothed line of his calf. Maybe nothing will ever come of it, But Jimin yearns with everything he’s got regardless.

- In the late hours of the night, when Jimin lies awake thinking about the three of you. An instinct welling inside of him that says he should walk up the hill and fall asleep on your couch just to be closer to you three (the pack instinct- Taehyung calls it, looking a little bit sad himself when jimin asks him, the other hybrid moving away before jimin can ask exactly what that means) Jimin wonders if his feelings will ever be reciprocated.

- But love is a strange thing, it’s not just about saying it with kisses or touches- though Jimin wants them too. There is love in the small things, in building something together so that’s what Jimin tries to do. Every day- he takes to gardening with a new vigor. Shouting in joy when you harvest some of the tomatoes- filling up a whole gallon bucket with the amount that have ripened over the last week. Your peppers and cucumbers are beginning to produce more too.

- Jimin and Yoongi run to Namjoon just to give him a handful. The alpha gives each of them a sweet nuzzle in thanks, even if Yoongi chirps and moves back after a moment. A flush high on his cheek. Namjoon looking up at Yoongi from where he’s stopped- cheek on the elder's shoulder. The snake relaxing after a moment.

- You spend the rest of the day showing Jimin and Yoongi how to prepare the tomatoes to make a sauce, roasting them on low heat. Cutting garlic so so carefully, and whenever Jimin looks across the prep table- Yoongi’s gaze darts away. halfway through- yoongi stoops down, sticking his socked feet into jimin’s lap, and it feels so nice, to have their weight there.

- You go over to Yoongi at one point, and he tips his head back to look up at you. The back of his head is at the right height to lye up against your baby bump. And Jimin watches, as you slowly, so slowly, brush the hair out of his eyes and away from his forehead. Yoongi’s eyes flutter closed and he tips his face into your hand. Letting out a low happy grumble when you take his action as positive reinforcement, and drag your nails over his scalp. In Jimin’s lap, Yoongi’s toes curl.

- It feels strange- and Jimin can’t quite put his finger on it- but it almost feels like Yoongi is letting you all touch him more than ever. Suddenly okay with touches- as long as it’s in a more private setting. Jimin can’t say he’s unhappy about it. Maybe one-day yoongi will even let Jimin scent mark him.

- Jimin smiles at Yoongi’s happy little snake grumbles. And keeps chopping his garlic. Is happy to receive the same kind of scratch from you a few minutes later. Though he might abandon his chopping in favor of rubbing his face all over your stomach when the instinct strikes him. Jimin unintentionally lets out a growl when you start to move away. Slapping a hand over his mouth and apologizing, no matter how you and Yoongi laugh.

- Still, despite the happiness, you have in your kitchen, in your house, whenever you’re around each other. The rest of the world is not so kind.

- An adoption day comes at arguably the worst and best time. There is still a fair amount of friction between your group and the rest of the hybrids. And a few outsiders at the farm only make it worse. Though Yoongi, Jimin, and Namjoon aren’t the only hybrids who wear red stickers to indicate that they are not available for adoption.

- Hoseok surprisingly- grabs a yellow sticker. And the three of your hybrids watch- as Seokjin hovers around him- a red sticker on his own lapel- wary of all and anyone who interacts with the otter hybrid. His glares putting off all but the most attentive patrons. That's where it starts.

- Jimin is unfortunately caught in the middle when seokjin confronts hoseok. off to help the three of them bring down 3 trays of cut watermelon for the hybrids and the patrons. The dinner tables have been set out on the side of the field piled high with Hors d'oeuvre. You’re there with Namjoon greeting the humans. Games are set out too- for the hybrids and humans to play.

- it’s no secret that they’ve gotten close, and jimin had assumed they’d talked about it- but apparently not. Seokjin is so angry he’s nearly crying. “why- hoseok- why do you want to leave the farm?” Hoseok’s little otter ears are tight against his scalp. “I just- I didn’t want to assume?”

- “Oh- so you’d rather just- throw away everything that we’re trying- all of this- you don’t you dont want to stay do you-” Jimin has never seen seokjin looking so lost, and he knows enough to guess that Seokjin’s anger is at least in part to due to some trauma (later- Jimin will find out that Seokjin’s mother left him with his last owner- an abusive man- to save herself).

- Jimin knows enough to get in between them, telling them to calm down and spend a minute away from each other. Jimin ends up with Hoseok- “it’s hard Jimin- how do you, how do you have so much sureness with Y/n? with Namjoon and yoongi too? How do you look at them and trust that you should stay?” Hoseok's eyes remain on Jimin's red tag.

- Jimin sighs, thinking it through, “do you look at Seokjin and know he cares about you? like- do you know it in your bones?” Hoseok bites his lower lip, “yes- but-”

- “Then you should stay Hoseok,” Jimin walks Hoseok up to the main house where the stickers sit on the prep table. Changing out his yellow one for a red one. And when they head off back down the hill, Seokjin is waiting on the path with Yoongi, apologizing and dragging Hoseok away to the barns where Seokjin’s own private room is. Hoseok goes willingly, smiling up at the older hybrid. His narrow shoulders cuddled under one of Seokjin's wide ones.

- jimin has to admit, an otter and an alpaca are a weird combination for a hybrid pack (But no stranger than a pair of puppies and a snake). His thoughts drift towards Taehyung- and Jimin hopes that his friend won't end up alone. it must not be easy- to see all of you pair off like this.

- in some ways, that adoption day is full of just as much bullshit as they usually are. there are always people who dont understand the effort it takes to take care of a hybrid- they aren't just like any ordinary pet. it's easy to spot the ones that view them as pets- and less like people. You get a few rich people looking to adopt a companion as always.

- A substantial group of families also look to adopt similarly aged companions for their single children. And you agree to more than one possible test weekend. You’re always so particular about letting the children go, so wary and so careful in the way you let them interact with the families.

- Though they don’t have parents here- there are more than a few good role models and parental figures. More than one child chooses a red tag for themselves. And they always know have a right to it- no matter how young they are. You make it clear to the group of them; If they don’t want to be adopted they don’t have to be.

- You even get one couple- the woman withdrawn and sad, and a slightly jealous look at your own pregnant stomach says more than any words could. It’s pretty common for women who can’t have children to adopt hybrid children. and though some of it doesn't sit right with you, You aren’t one to judge.

- Jimin spends most of the adoption day helping you balance the need for food and for games. running back and forth to the house to help. Though there is a little work that needs to be done here and there just to keep the farm running as usual. grey storm clouds roll in halfway through the day, puncturing the blue sky- foretelling scattered showers and storms. and jimin hopes it will cut the adoption day short so that you can return to your routines.

- Jimin is just helping Yoongi putting away a broken badminton net When it happens- Jimin isn’t certain why it does. Only that he hears the words outside the shed after Yoongi's just excited to grab the broken rackets (Namjoon isn't the only clumsy hybrid you have at the farm).

- “oh sorry- ew gross,” a shrill female voice says, and then he rounds the corner and sees yoongi picking himself up from the dirt- a rich lady and her peacock hybrid looking down at him like he’s the dirt beneath his shoes. The peacock hybrid has Yoongi’s sun hat in his hands and there is another hybrid- a wolf hybrid from the farm with a green sticker on his shirt, who growls down at yoongi.

- His shoulders shake too the way they do when he’s been touched and he doesn’t want to be. Jimin has seen you brush your fingers over the back of Yoongi’s hand, has even felt the coolness of the snake hybrid through the fabric when the elder grabbed his sleeve. Has touched him even more intimately as of late. But he knows that Yoongi can’t tolerate being touched by people he doesn’t trust- doesn’t want to touch him. basically, anyone, that's, not you, Namjoon, or Jimin himself.

- “Hey- what the fuck!” Jimin spits, grabbing the sunhat out of the hybrid's hand with a growl, his ears flat against his head. If Jimin had elongated canines like Namjoon they would be barred in anger as he shoves the larger hybrid back. Yoongi shrinks impossibly smaller behind him.

- Jimin is hot and itchy from the heat and the humidity, and he really just wants to shower and cool off. He doesn’t have the energy to deal with entitled people today. And more importantly- no one touches Yoongi on Jimin’s watch.

- The hybrid looks surprised to be talked to in that way, he’s nearly a head taller than Jimin let alone the slightly taller feathers that poke out of the top of his head that give him the appearance of several more inches- but Jimin’s intimidating enough with his set expression to send the hybrid huffing away. Feathers fluffed.

- The peacock's iridescent feathers stand up on end as he grabs the hand of his human owner, her diamond tennis bracelet glittering in the sunlight. “This was getting boring anyway. Sorry” he tosses over his shoulder at the canine hybrid, who looks so disappointed his ears pinned back against his head. They only give him that- barely a look, before they’re heading off down the hill in the direction of the line of cars parked on the grass.

- The wolf hybrid deflates audibly- watching the woman and the other hybrid disappear down the hill. promises of home and family disappearing in a moment, but Jimin has to think- if they’d be discouraged so easily- were they really worth it? The wolf hybrid doesn't seem to think so- Turning his angry tear-filled eyes on Jimin.

- But Jimin can see the hate in his eyes and knows not to mistake the tears for only sadness. “You both ruin everything” he growls out- before they too run back towards the barns- no doubt to tell the others how Yoongi had sabotaged their adoption. Even though that was far from the truth. in all honestly- yoongi just bumped into the lady- or more probably- the lady bumped into him when he was on his way out of the shed.

- Jimin holds out his sunhat to Yoongi, who takes it from Jimin carefully, Jimin doesn’t linger on the fact that his hand still shakes. Jimin’s hand lingers somewhere close enough where Yoongi could touch it could reach out if he wants too. If he wants to get that kind of comfort from Jimin's touch- then Jimin will willingly give it.

- a faint flush coats the elder's cheeks. Oh no- he must be overheating then, Jimin feels a rush of concern. He knows what you would do, hover your hand close enough to Yoongi’s forehead, usher him upstairs for a break in the air conditioning, and a glass of icy lemonade.

- All they can hear is the shouts of laughter at the games the others play in the fields, “I understand why you don’t want to stay in the barns, why you don’t want to socialize with some of them, they’re so unkind to you it makes me crazy.” Jimin shakes his head, sour anger filling him like a rotten peach.

- Yoongi, looks more than pacified, looking up at Jimin with an indecipherable look. Most of the time, Jimin can get a good guess on how he’s feeling but not now- not that indecipherable heaviness he finds there. or the strangely heavy marshmallow scent that’s fluffed around them. Jimin lets go of Yoongi’s hat.

- After a moment Yoongi nods, and Jimin takes it as a thank you. They’re done for the day and dinner won’t be for another few hours or so. Jimin is ready to avoid some of the strangers and hopefully take advantage of the empty showers. The sky is grey with incumbent storm clouds when Jimin makes his way to the shower buildings which he finds blissfully empty; except for the bear hybrid Jackson that tosses a greeting at Jimin before exiting.

- Jimin doesn’t even bother to flick the lights on, instead of settling for the calm light that comes through the skylights, grey and hazy. the storm clouds have started to roll in properly. He hums as he disrobes, goes to grab his favorite strawberry body wash, and picks the last shower at the end, disrobing in relative comfort, glad for a moment of privacy.

- The blissfully Coldwater does wonders for his overheating muscles, relaxing his body deliciously from a day spent walking up and down the hill. he digests the chaos of the day- seokjin and hoseok fighting, yoongi getting shoved. you'd looked frazzled the last time he'd seen you, smile strained as you made small talk with most of the humans, Namjoon always close incase you needed someone to lean on.

- Jimin had been able to tell that your feet were sore just by looking at you. Namjoon will probably make you sit down before long, maybe he already has. You’ll probably cut off the adoption day because of the rain. Taking down names and information before you send them on their way. You rarely let a hybrid leave the farm after one adoption day, needing to have more private meetings and house calls to willingly part with one of them. You just want to make sure you dont release them back into another abusive household.

- He hums as he washes, lingering in the water and taking a longer shower than he usually would. He hums, testing the way his vocal cords wrap around the acoustics of the empty high ceilinged room.

Then he hears the scuffling of someone in the bathroom too and cuts off. A little abashed at being caught. The rustling getting closer and its a moment before he realizes that the rustling is coming from his own section of the bath. he smells him the second before he pulls the shower curtain gets pulled back.

- “Yoongi!” Jimin shouts, furiously grabbing at something to cover his nakedness. Jimin furiously tries to cover his crotch, grabbing one of the large bargain bottles of shampoo and hold it there even as cold water runs over his face. Getting into his wide eyes. “Yoongi what the fuck! You’re naked!”

- Jimin is glad that the rumors about snake hybrids having double the appendages as a normal hybrid are false but he can’t stop his blush or his wandering eyes as he sees the snake hybrid in full. Or the hot lick of arousal that shocks him through his core- especially when he recognizes the heaviness to Yoongi's scent as being arousal.

- there is a single moment, jimin can smell yoongi- can see the want in his eyes, can feel his own scent fluff out to meet his, yoongi sags under the weight of Jimin's scent as the surprise dissipates. "do you-" Jimin's face must be brighter than a tomato. He reaches out a tentative hand, "do you want to-"

- Before Jimin can do much more than that Yoongi’s lips are on his, tentative but firm and passionate, the fire leaking into him from Yoongi as jimin stumbles in surprise. The kiss tastes like thank you and Ive wanted to do this for longer than i care to admit and everything yoongi can't say, can't let slip past his lips. jimin drops the shampoo bottle which narrowly misses his foot as Yoongi’s hands come up to encircle his jaw so softly like Yoongi is holding the most important thing in his world. Jimin is so shocked that for a moment- he doesn’t kiss back and Yoongi retracts- not before Jimin chases his lips and the snake hybrid returns to him.

- It’s the first time Yoongi’s ever touched Jimin so bare, and the snake’s hands on the back of his neck feel cold and shivery but good. As Jimin’s back hit’s the wall and their fronts press together for a moment, just brushing. Then colliding with more force as they both realize how good it feels to be so close to someone you trust. It’s dizzying- intoxicating, and Jimin knows his mouth is moving sloppily even if he wants to kiss Yoongi with just as much intent.

- The snake hybrid bites- actually bites- down on Jimin’s tongue. And a strangled whine comes to live and die in his throat. A snarl in his ears from Yoongi's mouth as the snake hybrid keeps his biting, moves to Jimin's throat- bites hard Enough that Jimin knows he'll leave a bruise. "leave more- yoongi please mark me" jimin feels hot with the thought of it- the thought of all the other hybrids being able to smell yoongi on his scent gland.

- Jimin doesn’t know where to put his hands, he knows enough to know that Yoongi doesn’t like to be touched and unsure if it extends to right now. but it seems okay if he’s doing the touching. His hands sliding down Jimin's back to his waist. He’s a good kisser, the best that Jimin’s ever kissed (not that there have been many) and he tips his head forward to put as much scalding force as he can into it when yoongi leaves his neck in favor of his mouth, trying to match Yoongi’s intensity even if he can’t match his skill.

- Yoongi takes a step forward, and Jimin’s cock brushes his hipbone, and he can’t stop the way his hips jump at the contact, brushing into Yoongi further. Jimin’s blood boils with arousal. Yoongi is equally as hard compared to Jimin. And Jimin doesn't know if its water or precum that he feels on his skin. Can't look down to check.

- By the time Yoongi leans back and finishes running his fingers through Jimin’s hair and over his shoulders. Jimin’s so wound up he feels like he’s about the pass out. The cool water cascading over his back doing nothing to settle him. Yoongi moves his hips- testing the waters, as he grinds, works jimin’s hips into an unsteady rhythm. and jimin moans.

- Yoongi pulls back, looking at jimin, their noses brushing, like he can’t bear to have jimin farther away from him than this, want heavy in his eyes, and Jimin tastes the words on Yoongi’s lips as good as if he’d said them. “Yoongi” jimin breathes. Palms pressed carefully to the shower wall so that he won’t reach out and yank Yoongi closer. But he’s Weak against the wake of this of all this feeling.

- “fuck- kiss me again- can we- ” Jimin feels strung out, his body heavy with something like heat- maybe Jimin is actually having a heat and it’s not just in his imagination (he wouldn't really know what it felt like- never having had one before because of his malnutrition). But This kind of kissing is certainly enough to trigger one.

- Yoongi opens his mouth for a second, almost like he’s about to speak- or to try to, Jimin’s never been sure if he can- if it’s muteness or just Yoongi being selective. And then in the next moment, Yoongi’s gone, almost tripping on his way out of the showers with how fast he’s leaving jimin. A whine dies in his throat and jimin starts after him, But then Yoongi turns back. Gesturing with a hand for jimin to stay put. Yoongi looks angry, and it takes a moment for Jimin to realize that the anger wasn’t directed at jimin- only at Himself.

- Jimin stays in the shower, water thundering down around him as the sky overhead thunders too. Jimin listens to the faint sound of Yoongi dressing and then leaving the showers. Jimin lets him go. So sure that he has absolutely no idea what just happen- or even if he didn’t imagine the whole thing.

- jimin’s hand on himself doesn't feel nearly good as Yoongi’s did.

- Yoongi’s hands shake all the way back up the hill, and he hopes his wet hair won’t be too suspicious especially when a mixed group of hybrids crosses his path. Returning to the barns as most of the adoption day festivities have ended.

- Yoongi’s careful to keep his eyes averted. And like usual- the conversation comes to a halt when Yoongi passes them by. It no longer bugs him the way it might have once. They have a good reason not to want to associate with him. Yoongi’s body shakes with the weight of the things he’s done and the things he’s going to do.

- you gather with 3 families on your porch as you take down their names and contact information. You send yoongi a concerned look as he quickly heads inside the house. Pausing only for a moment before he decides to go to Namjoon first. Later- later he’ll ask you too.

- Stupid- he’s been so stupid recently. Touching you- indulging in these short sweet touches because he wants more so badly. Knows he can never have it doesn’t stop the wanting. If his owner ever found out what he’s done- if she ever found out what he’d almost done with jimin- she’d surely have Jimin’s hands for it.

- And as much as Yoongi wishes it were any other way- Jimin almost touching him does remind him of far worse times. Though he’d been the one to initiate it this time- the memories still linger.

- Times when foreign hands touched his skin as he’d thrashed and screamed trying to protest against the taunting words of his owner. “I’ve never been interested in snake dick but if you want him for tonight you can have him- just be careful- he bites” and he shakes with those memories. Though its been many years. like most kinds of torture- eventually, his owner had grown bored with using yoongi's body as a bargaining chip. Yoongi wonders if he’s ever going to be able to be touched that way without feeling the revulsion at his own body.

- Jimin had come close, but he'd known- known that yoongi didn't want him to touch him. Had seemed more than willing to be touched himself. the revulsion hadn't hit him until the end.

- The places he’s been touched without his consent feel black and decaying- or like ink, every time someone touches him- Yoongi’s surprised that ink doesn’t come away on your hands soft and delicate. But it didn’t change the fact that Yoongi wanted it- and wants it still.

- he wants to see you soft and sated the way you look sometimes in the morning when he can smell Namjoon on you- wants to cause it- maybe, someday in the future if you'll let him. He knows you’d be gentle with him. Wouldn’t put your hands anywhere he didn’t want. Would check in with him- going as slowly or as quickly as he wanted too. Namjoon would be able to be gentle too- Yoongi’s sure of it.

- He wants it, even though he knows that want only put you all in danger. He’s an incredibly selfish person. He hopes he never gets to have that intimacy with you, for your sake.

- yoongi should only let himself dream of something good before he goes- sinks back into that life. But the temptation for more is too strong sometimes, his want filling him up like sticky sweet syrup that pollutes every moment.

- Namjoon is on the second floor of your house and Yoongi takes the stairs two at a time. Folding laundry in what will one day be the nursery for your child. He’s taken the ultrasound up here now- hung it up so he can look at it. and Yoongi is reminded of A few days ago when he gushed about the development of your child to Yoongi in the kitchen comparing them to the size of a fruit. “a cute little cantaloupe- the cutest little cantaloupe”

- You and Namjoon have made the decision not to find out the gender, but the walls of the nursery are still pained blue, puffy clouds above and little flowers below, dandelions and daisies, a stalwart sunflower that curls over the arch of the door half-finished. Yoongi knows you work on the mural it whenever you can. But Namjoon gets a little paranoid about the fumes- you compromise and keep the windows open along with the door to your balcony to allow as much air circulation as possible.

- The crib, a fluffy white thing is already piled into the corner. And Yoongi remembers the first few weeks here when you and Namjoon had overzealously ordered it. He’d come downstairs after dinner one night and found both of you puzzling over the directions. And he’d shooed Namjoon away as he’d helped you put it together. The three of you ending up giggly and punch drunk tired by the time it was fully put together. And then had to carry it all the way up the stairs.

-A mobile of little felted flowers that Seokjin made you as a thank you present a hangs above the empty Crib- colorful and cute. And Namjoon has set the laundry on the unused changing table in neat stacks. All of the other furniture is piled into the center of the room so that you can paint the walls. He turns when he hears Yoongi, his tail swishing.

- “Hey Yoon- what you get caught in a rainstorm or something?” the rain splatters against the windows with a soft patter and Yoongi drips onto the floor. He never bothered to dry off after the unintentional shower with jimin. Yoongi makes a shrug that means ‘something like that’ and if the younger hybrid hovers on the way that Yoongi’s lips look a little kiss bitten and swollen he doesn’t say a thing. Namjoon knows better than anyone- what they talk about and what they don’t.

- He hands over the slip of paper; “jimin should move into the main house, you and I could clean out one of the storage rooms and move the stuff into the attic.”

- Yoongi watches Namjoon’s eyes rove over the words a few times. The hybrid purses his lips, “I’ve talked to Y/n about this- and she agrees- but I don’t know if he wants too? He seems pretty comfortable in the barns, he likes Taehyung and they’re friends. and we kind of want to leave it up to him if we can.”

- Yoongi snatches the paperback from him, annoyance flickering in his chest as he rolls his eye. Didn’t Namjoon see that nothing would change if they didn’t push him a little? Jimin is the type to take that kind of abuse again and again if it means not making a fuss. And Yoongi knows it’s only a matter of time before something happens again. He turns it over onto the other side and using the wall as a place to write.

- “He’s already being treated differently because of me” 'me' being double underlined- so that Namjoon really understands what he’s trying to say. Yoongi just wants to make sure Jimin is safe before he goes. Before he needs to leave and before it gets too dangerous and too near a time when his owner will physically retrieve him. Not that Namjoon knows that Yoongi’s presence has an expiration date. Namjoon searches Yoongi’s face for a source to his desperation and finds none.

- Yoongi has never felt worse for keeping secrets. Maybe in another world- Yoongi would have confessed and asked Namjoon, with all of his connections to the police, for help. Yoongi knows enough to put the whole crime system out of whack and yet. Years of negative reinforcement and beatings have taught him to keep his mouth shut and that isn’t going to change now; not when Yoongi’s life isn’t the only one at risk and he knows you’ll all live if he plays by the rules. He doesn't care about his own safety anymore.

- The second he sees Yoongi’s distraught expression Namjoon steps closer Taking off his flannel and tugging it around his shoulders. Namjoon might not make moves to scent mark Yoongi but dressing him in his clothes is as good as he gets. Namjoon’s comforting alpha scent fluffs around him.

- Yoongi wonders if jimin feels the pull the same way he does. Dynamics are more mobile in snake hybrids and downright non-existent in humans. but they’re more set in canines. Namjoon puts his hand on Yoongi’s clothed arm and Yoongi shuffles close after a second. His nose centimeters from Namjoon’s neck taking in deep breathes to try and steady himself. He didn’t realize he was shaking.

- “It will be alright Yoongi, I promise. He’s gonna be safe.” Namjoon adds quieter. And below them both- in the first floor of the house, he can hear your voice, echoing louder and laughing at some sort of joke, Namjoon’s tail starts wagging at the suggestion of you. “I want them to feel safe too.”

- Yoongi wants to write “he should take my room- I won’t be staying in it soon anyway.” but Yoongi needs to make sure- before he leaves. Jimin has to be included in your little pack. He doesn’t want to think- about what the three of you will go through when he eventually has to leave. The days are counting down to the end of the summer.

- He’s fucking selfish, so selfish, to kiss Jimin like that when he knows he won't be able to stay in the hybrids life. He’s selfish every time he begs affection off you, every day he keeps Namjoon Company when he’s cleaning up the other barns. Yoongi writing out words in the dust when Namjoon asks him questions. Eyes only searching when Namjoon turns his back. Looking for any sort of hidden compartment. Completing his task even if it’s the last thing he wants to do. Betraying you like this.

- Jimin spends the rest of the day wondering if the kiss with Yoongi was just a dream. But later at dinner, Yoongi won’t meet his eyes, and jimin knows he didn’t imagine the kiss. Guilt sticks to Yoongi, more distracting than honey stuck between your fingertips.

- Both of them go to sleep still thinking about the kiss. Jimin wondering if it will happen again and Yoongi thinking that he’d like it too. His fingers running over his lower and upper lips, mind awash with the memory of jimin’s mouth on his. And night falls heavy like a weighted blanket on the farm. The sky a big sheet with holes poked through for stars. A heavenly breeze tempting away the summer heat.

- All of the hybrids safe and snoring in their beds. Some even paired- if they’ve got it. Two furry bodies packed close on a single bed. Some even dream of homes they mind one day live in or of the people that one day they’ll get to love. The idea of being kept and treasured lulling them into a drowsy haze of anticipation and security.

- That night, Namjoon knocks on Yoongi’s door. the hybrid leaning up against the doorframe as he watches the snake get ready for bed. “you know... you could sleep in our room if you want, we have an air conditioner in there too.” yoongi has a notepad ready, he knows that Namjoon likes to open all the windows and even the door to your balcony to let the fresh air in so that it feels like you're sleeping outside. He steels himself to think of someone other than himself before he writes- “I’m okay- thanks though” Yoongi writes out.

- Namjoon lifts one of Yoongi’s blankets to his neck before he leaves, thoroughly scents marking it before he leaves it with Yoongi. And Yoongi sleeps easy that night with his nose pressed to the blanket. Safe and secure in his room. Nothing bad happens to yoongi that night even though he cuddles close to the blanket, and when he wakes in the morning. his heart beats a steady thumping rhythm- his whole body humming with anticipation.

- It’s different to feel excited about being in love, excited for a day spent close to the people he cares about. And he knows he won't take a single day for granted.

- The crickets and cicadas chirping in the field. And in a low tone on the tree outside, a morning dove gentle and unassuming. The sun rising over the hills. Tastes of idyllic and smells of Eden. Like lavender and honey.

- A hand outstretched, scrambling in the dirt before it goes still, fingers just a few inches from safety. Blood mixing in with the sand. The morning is not perfect for everyone.

- But even you would say the morning was peaceful, if not for the dead body dumped at the end of your driveway.

Kofi

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supportivespaceforsurvivors · 3 years

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is this Devyn's blog?

hey anon, i'm sorry it took me so long to respond to this; between insomnia, work, my birthday, and other personal issues (along with accidentally deleting my initial response in a sleep-deprived lapse of judgement..), i've been pretty low on energy - but hopefully i'll be feeling better soon?

as for your question, it isn't a complete yes or no answer. yes, Devyn is a mod on this blog, and yes, he posts a lot; but nobody 'owns' this blog. all mods are equals; both in the literal sense that we all have to have administrator privileges in order to answer asks, and also that we rely on each other to help with anything we post. we're all human, and as such, we know that we have weaknesses and blindspots; as a team, we talk to each other to help smooth over some of those wrinkles to help y'all the best ways that we can - so even when one specific person's name is put on a post, more often than not, we have all contributed in some way. the reason that Devyn answers things more often than the rest of us is because he simply has a lot more time and energy than the rest of us do, and trying to write a whole response ourselves can be exhausting when you are already low on energy; but conveying our thoughts or opinions to each other for someone else to weave into a post takes a lot less energy. as such, the rest of us on the mod team really appreciate that Devyn is able to answer more often! its not that Devyn is more committed or holds more power than the rest of the mods, just that he's been more available to answer things recently.

and as a side note: we got another ask somewhat along this line of thought, but it mentioned the name of someone who made personal posts on their personal blog - and since i don't want to risk 'calling them out' (for lack of a better term), i don't feel comfortable posting that ask, so i'm adding my response to it here.

i want to start off by saying, we do appreciate when people bring up concerns that they have! giving us feedback on things that might make you uncomfortable or bother you helps us learn how to better help y'all. without feedback, we kinda just assume that we're doing alright - so encourage anyone to give us constructive feedback (i.e., dont just say something like "i dont like [thing] about mod x, fix it" - give us suggestions on how to best fix it!) if something we do bothers you! we wont be upset; you mentioning how we can better help you means that you do care about us, and we would never get upset at y'all for that. and, as such, we do really appreciate that you brought up your issues with us! genuinely our only issue was the fact a specific person was named (which really isnt even an issue - telling us who made the posts helped us find the posts, since we hadnt previously known about them) and we just don't want to inadvertently cause problems for them. we really dont think you had meant to purposefully cause strife, so please dont think we're upset with you!

as for your ask, i get why you would feel that way. Devyn tends to answer a lot and doesn't cushion his answers as much as some of us do, but it isn't due to him not caring or simply wanting the inbox empty - Devyn does care a lot about answering things well, he just prefers to get to the point rather than writing out giant walls of text. rather than try to explain things for Devyn, i'm gonna let him finish up the post by explaining his method for answering asks - i dont want to accidentally say anything that isnt true, but i can guarentee that Devyn does care. if he didn't care, he wouldn't still be here - he does care for all of you, and he does want to help! if he didn't, he wouldn't be putting in the effort that he has been to change how he responds to things in a way that won't upset or trigger people, and he wouldn't put in the effort to try and get input from the rest of us mods. please, do let us know if there's anything else we can do moving forward to help things feel less bad for you. we don't want anyone to feel like they cant be helped or that we dont care for them.

mod berry 💗

---

Hey anon.

I wanted to make sure I also answered this in case you were looking for an answer from me directly.

Originally I had a few paragraphs here essentially echoing what Berry said, but it felt too repetitive and I ended up cutting it out.

We had another ask that we mentioned we're tacking the response to on here. I'm going to copy-paste some of the text from it for context since y'all obviously haven't (and won't) see it, so that my response makes sense:

[...] we wrote in and got a quick response from Devyn whereas previously we got really detailed responses from other mods. It felt like Devyn just sees it as a rush to clear the inbox and not work with other mods. And now this blog feels like his exclusively.

I want to start by saying I understand how how I was pretty much the only one who answered anything during September made you feel like this blog is mine exclusively, but I assure you that's not the case - it just happened to be a particularly shitty month for all the mods here. While those issues haven't disappeared, we should have more availability to answer asks currently.

Secondly, something I think will be helpful is if I walk you through the process of how I answer an ask. I was going to use this one to do that and then proceeded to get distracted and forgot and answered it, so here's a fake example ask. Let's say this ask comes in:

Let's say the question is something any of us can answer easily, like, "How many followers do you have?" That's an easy question and we can all look at our follower count and give you a number. So I click answer.

I always start answering genuine asks with some sort of greeting. Usually "Hey anon," is my go-to. Then the answer. "Oh, we have this many." Then I'll end with a well-wish and my name. Easy enough.

I think part of the issue is that if people ask yes or no questions (like "is my trauma valid?") I'd rather say something short in response, like, "Yes, your trauma is valid regardless of what it is," and sign my name than waste our readers' time and my breath answering with extra words. I just don't see the point in using more words than I need to. I try very hard to make it clear, especially in shorter responses, that I'm not trying to be hostile and am actively aware of my tone. Some answers have more words in them because I always try to make sure to explain what I feel could be misunderstood and that's not always easily done in one or two sentences.

Another thing that might be part of the issue is that Berry, for example, tends to answer asks by grouping paragraphs after which they hit enter only once, and I hit enter twice to start a new paragraph. That doesn't mean Berry's answer has any more actual content in it than mine does, it just might look like that because the format ends up looking more dense in Berry's answer.

Anyway, if someone feels like they want to answer a certain ask but doesn't have the spoons, they can save it with their name to the drafts, which is where a lot of our unpublished asks live. It's like the purgatory of the ask box, because sometimes I put an ask there and sometimes I only think about it. 😬

Asks that go to our drafts aren't ignored, that's just sort of a transition period. If the ask is slightly more complicated, we usually discuss it first in the mod Discord - which you guys obviously can't see. Sometimes if we collaborate on an ask, whoever sees it in the ask box first is the one who ends up answering it, but not always. But we usually just sign those with a single name for sake of ease. If we put all the names of all the mods who contributed any thought to an ask, most of them would have all of our names on them. Also, it's not necessarily accurate to sign my name to an ask if all I'm commenting on is the tone of an ask. Sure, I technically contributed, but I didn't say anything helpful.

If multiple people have thoughts on an ask, usually what we do is one person answers it and the others reblog with their thoughts. This ask is an exception because last time we answered an ask specifically about me that way, it escalated the situation, and we're trying to avoid that.

If none of us know how to answer an ask, we'll usually publish it for our followers' input after a week. I try to follow up about asks that are in drafts pretty often, so usually they don't sit there for a month, but like we've said multiple times, this month has been a bit of an outlier for all of us.

So essentially what I'm saying is that just because you don't see active ask collaboration happening doesn't mean it's not. It all happens in the Discord and, unless you're also a mod in our server, you're not going to see that discussion happening.

Hopefully this helps with the misunderstandings.

Mod Devyn

#ask #answered #mod devyn #anonymous

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mudwingpropaganda · 4 years

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i dont know if you do background characters, but i feel like you are the right person to do my boy coconut justice. he's kinkajou's friend and is also at jma, and tui did him SO dirty... he's initially described as just being very tired and low-energy, but by winter's book he's the punching bag and joke and his described as being dumb with moon saying he has hardly anything going on in his head. i want him to have some justicebc i care him, so do u have any words on him

I planned on answering some other asks about tribes tonight, but the more I think about Coconut the more I want to talk about him!

I agree completely that, despite Tui very much trying to act like RainWings are more competent than the “lazy” stereotype Glory was assigned, she fully embraces that “laziness” title as a writing backup if she can’t think of any other reason for a character to be uninteresting enough as not to follow.

Anyway, I remember having an odd, specific attachment to Coconut. I can’t remember exactly why. Maybe there was just something I could cling to as a lethargic not-quite teen who couldn’t keep up with his relationships to quite register that his friend was missing. Well, maybe not that last part.

Coconut is a RainWing who fully embraced the comfort that his tribe celebrated. He learned early that there was little need to put very much effort into things. He avoided working in excess and wasting his energy if he wasn’t going to be praised for his efforts early on. He was somewhat of a RainWing prodigy. Learning quickly how to use his venom as safely as possible, being able to adjust his scales with acute accuracy, navigating the rainforest, identifying safe food to eat.... so he had little attention from adults because he didn’t need help, unlike the likes of Tamarin who was monitored and flocked to if she were to fall from the platforms again.

So Coconut passed time by sleeping, snacking, and occasionally finding out why adults warned him away from certain frogs or plants. Otherwise, what else was there to do?

So there was a delayed reaction when Kinkajou came flocking back to him, grey scales and hugging him with scarred limbs. And at the moment, he didn’t realize that she had even been gone. But it soon began to set in. And hard. How his friend was abandoned on hellish island waiting for him. The only dragon who would praise him for giving the extra effort, he let down. He lost track of time, lost track of his relationships, and left Kinkajou to be rescued by an outsider RainWing altogether! And there’s something weighing on him about that.

When he goes to Jade Mountain, he realizes quite quickly how “prodigy” from a RainWing’s mouth is much different from the standards of the other tribes. And the ambition he had left was crushed. Suddenly it wasn’t impressive how he could calculate the best times and places to get suntime when he couldn’t read or write. Suddenly conveying conversations with your scales’ emotions wasn’t that amazing when he couldn’t even recall his own tribe’s history.

Coconut resigned himself to the stereotype, thinking about what he was good at nearly constantly. Napping when he wished. Eating when he could.

But that isn’t to say there’s not more going on in his head, regardless of what Moonwatcher says. He just has never quite gotten to the point where he’s ready to resign himself to the guilt he started feeling for abandoning Kinkajou. Which would open the floodgates of the inner world whirring in his mind. Because he’s not dumb, he just lacks the motivation to follow his passion or ambitions. Because adults stopped paying attention to him quickly after he proved he could survive. Because his peers stopped playing with him for “being better than him.” Because other dragonets his age scold him for being foolish and slow.

But Coconut is full of opportunity. He takes much interest in his classes and is a quick learner like he was in his youth! Even if he has a short attention span. He clings onto subjects that he is interested in and as he learns to read at Jade Mountain, albeit slowly, he begins to pick up reading to pass time as well. Even if he often ends up rereading passages after zoning out, he finishes scrolls quickly. I feel like he would end up reading for fun even more so than the stereotypical nerds like Sora or Moonwatcher. Because he’s not running from the law or saving the world.

Coconut may not be a protagonist, but he’s certainly an interesting story to me. He’s not quite in tune with his own train of thought and relies on directions and instruction. He thrives with attention, I feel like and is certainly a wonderful friend to spend time with. He’s attempting to get his grasp with time and retaining his attention but sometimes that’s just how it be!

While I’m not quite sure what his ambitions are in particular, I feel like, with the positive attention from teachers (BESIDES the dumb ones we were given like Webs and such), Coconut could thrive and excel among his clawmates. Kinkajou and Coconut are still friends, I’m sure! I don’t know what she’s doing in Pantala at the moment, but when she returns, Coconut will be waiting with open arms this time. Ready to attempt to help her catch up on schoolwork (if that’s even possible). Maybe he travels with her when Kinkajou becomes a journalist or something? *I dunno noise!*

Where Kinkajou and Chameleons are examples and byproducts of the flawed RainWing society, Coconut is an example of an ideal RainWing facing the realities of the world and attempting to settle into a place where he can either prosper with the new information he can absorb, or lay down and accept the lethargic tradition of his tribe. And I think he’s ready to try impressing dragons besides the RainWings.

Anyway, I hope this is interesting for you! I never want to tarnish anyone’s favorite characters. I did my best with this lad. :>

---

Also, post-looking-at-the-wiki-Apologist here: Coconut’s clawmates with one of Clay’s siblings? And Coconut’s best friends with Marsh? I dunno, maybe they’re boyfriends or something. I didn’t remember Marsh existed, but sure, why not!

#Anonymous

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modern-oedipus · 4 years

Text

Kinda a personal post that is not required to read but just first line is enough

Also I couldn’t get back to much of personal messages today because:

• i threw up in the morning and it shoookth me

• was running on 2 hours sleep

• had 8 hours of continious lecture and barely made it home just now, eaten, and calmed her shit down

•has 3 assingments and 2 quizzes due tomorrow

•did I mention, I can hear my own breath making Z z Z z Z z z Z sounds due to post-asthma hypersensitive body or SOME anNOYING THING that doctors said

• im mentally unwell because someone I love is mentally unwell and I can’t do a thing to help him regardless of my efforts and also i feel quite sad and desperate in general even though I do my best to not just let it go and get in a depresso mood

• so like. Responsibilities piled up, emotionally at my limit, physically sick, but at least not in so much physical pain.

I haven’t let anything go, though! I take care of my sick body regardless, I try to eat healthy, I /am/ doing the responsibilities one by one and making sure I finish them even if it costs me some sleep, I am trying to mentally reassure myself to things and although I haven’t got to write them down yet I planned some 2020 resolutions and cleaning; they have been on my mind for a long while now so if it all goes well I am planning to get a better start at the new year! I think I have done fairly well in 2019, most of my resolutions came to true by my own efforts anyway.

Anyway I didnt have to give a long explanation about why I was like this, I’d just say “I’m unavailable” if I didn’t want to share, but since I know that most of you care about me as friends (and I care about you as friends too, obviously, that’s a two sided thing), I thought those who care may read, just to have somr sort of idea about why Nila is shitposting but not individually replying. Those who don’t care (with no offense in them since no one is obligated to) have long scrolled past this, anyway.

Ihh I’m tired! Mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, I’m tired at all aspects but worse? I objectively don’t think it will get better. But I also objectively know that I hve no choice but to work to make it better because I love my life that I regained after so much hard work and battling with d, I love my family and friends whose days we brighten together, I (sort of) love my scientific research even tho science doesn’t seem to love me, I love the stories I am writing and the newspaper I am managing, I love walking in the soft wind, I love coffee talks and fun dates and hook ups, I love my pets and I love everyone who reached out to me and befriended me here on this account, I love reading/writing comments to the ao3 and reading/writing replies back to them, I love the fandom stuff we organize, I love working out and then having that serotonin boost, I love offering a newly baked recipte to family/friends, I love casual hook ups and if and when I’m in a relationship (my last rl lasted 3 years sooo... rip.. that was most of my life) I do love loving and being loved in return, I mean, I even love doing laundry like it is such a nice feeling to put all dirt in a machine and then take it back perfectly clean and cozy and nicely smelling, like idk, because of all these things (and more that I forgot to add) I can’t give up from my life and I can’t stop fighting for it to be better. I can’t give up from myself or my loved ones. There is so much to live for.

P.S. I also low key live for the days Given, To Die For, the “photographer Ray” au whose name I forgot, and the teacher/student norray fics ( ;) ) gets updated. I mean I’m sure I’m reading many more fics but these are the stuff I have been looking forward to ever since August or something and just knowing that one day I /MAY/ read a chapter of them sometimes make me motivated enough to go through a day. Also spaceomania’s (damn did I spell that right?! I’m absolutely NOT tagging anyone to this long ass post, don’t want them to go trouble reading it aLL) comments like I’m sure they made not just me but many other authors write a lot more happily than they normally would, oh I also live for Ardency but I am too scared to read it because itnis eNDING so I will procrastinate it, but like, yes.

I have reasons to keep going, I have reasons to stay strong. I may not be feeling my best now and my problems may not be fixed overnight but I have no choice but to have faith in myself & people I love & things I believe in (now, “believe” sounds so non-scientific but that’s subject for another day), so, I’ll go on.

I usually don’t like opening up about suicide or depression since I just think that’s way too personal to talk about (I still havent declared why it happened and I dont think Iw anna talk about it anyway), but, in case someone with suicidal tendencies is reading this (first of all congrats for coming thru this essay idk what kept you here but you’re amazing), just, remember that a year ago I was at where you are and, well, THIS is my mindset now. I am not telling you to compare your journey with mine or anyone else’s. I am just proving you that a way out of that dark tunnel is perfectly possible for you and even if my current situation may not be ideal (to be honest, is there even an ideal life? Problems will always exist), I’m gratefulthat I have got enough reasons to fight for. Sure, my energy still drains sometimes (hence why regular text talk with Nila is difficult. No she doesnt have adhd or anything. She has a fairly good attention span. She just lacks the friggin energy), but I restore it before it gets out of hand. Stuff like that. It’s possible, not for just me, but for you and for everyone. I’m not a publicly-spoken-social-norm-warrior or anything but I will always stand up for anyone who is feeling suicidal tendencies because no—

As someone who went through that, just, no.

Don’t.

Let’s make 2020 better.

*and here my friends, you went through a good representation of what it is like to be in my brain changing 485858 subjects. Anyway NOW that I let ut out I need to do my assignment. I want to reply back to you insividually bevause texting you all makes me feel warm and happy and i also wanna check on you but i need ti restrore my enrgy (i actually tried texting whdn my mood was low and I think I frightened some people over sudden agression so I’d rather text you wisely than text you randomly), so, see you all soon!

I know it is not just me going through shit in her life. So, know that I’m cheering for you and I am always in for friends bringing best of each other, so if you really read this far go do the thing you procrastinate!! Bud!! Go do it!! It’ll feel better!

What a conclusion tho

#nila stuff #personal

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somnilogical · 4 years

Text

legally blind

i keep thinking of things and "oh that would make a nice post", but then feeling despair because i expect the people i respond to to drag the thing into entropy. but writing things up in a centralized place is good for tracking changes in myself (the human brain is a terrible place to store your information if you dont want it to be overwritten-on-recall) and sign marking what is up to anyone who is interested.

Paul Graham gives the advice, and ive independently generated this, to not heavily respond to / disassemble what is wrong in stuff and spend most efforts on positive construction, then using the thing youve made to cut through anything thats bothered you.

but like, how do you even respond to stuff like:

<<If I’m willing to accept an unexpected chunk of Turkey deep inside Syrian territory to honor some random dead guy – and I better, or else a platoon of Turkish special forces will want to have a word with me – then I ought to accept an unexpected man or two deep inside the conceptual boundaries of what would normally be considered female if it’ll save someone’s life. There’s no rule of rationality saying that I shouldn’t, and there are plenty of rules of human decency saying that I should.>>

https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/11/21/the-categories-were-made-for-man-not-man-for-the-categories/

a traumatized response would be to painstakingly explain to your gaslighters that this is not how it works, this isnt how anything works. marginal useful stuff would be to say that wrt the concept of "category":

claiming that trans women are women because they were assigned male at birth and have a female soul inside is VALID

claiming that trans women are women because they look like women and are treated by society like them is VALID

claiming that trans women are men because they look and act like men is VALID

claiming that trans women are women because it would make people smile and keep a platoon of Turkish special forces from beating you up is INVALID

at least the first three, though co-contradictory, are appealing to the cluster structure of reality at all. like some people would try and say emma is technically male deep down inside but theyll consider them an honorary female because they pass, which i think is wrong, emma is definitely nonbinary afaict. in that their soul is enby. but at least their arguments rest on a question of a cluster in reality and not a question of what makes people smile.

and so can be resolved by looking at the structure of things out in the world, instead of looking to what makes people smile. though also lots of people will socially treat people as enby and then will agentically resist [knowledge of themselves doing this] propagating to other parts of their worldmodel.

which is a legalistic explanation in terms of local validity. when of course an issue is using legalism and blinding as a vector to preserve a facade of "unity" or "peace". you want your categories to be categories for making predictions and the legal principles acting on them to be simulacra instances (in the way emma uses the term), because thats what these things are. like a just punishment being the smallest harm which prevents the event from happening in the first place, takes a lot of human expectations into account in a recursive way. instantiating the concept of "robber" to mean "the definition of this word such that when used over a given community, results in the least number of thefts in expectation" doesnt make sense, similarly casting the notion of "liar" in this vein.

this was my issue with "reasonable person" as a legal fiction, a "reasonable person" doesnt exist and is a simulacra-ish concept thats easy to modify around. it seems better for courts to take actual categories as object and have their operators be the operators. like ground things out in expectations.

another reason why legalism was chosen as a vector for blinding people is because scott and others whom they have convinced are afaict low in spatial reasoning. so i think they might also, on top of their motives, have a harder time viscerally sensing the structure of thingspace in a way that could override cleverness with words. and this informed the particular structure of how they optimized for unity.

http://benjaminrosshoffman.com/geometers-scribes-structure-intelligence/

like if you have a sense of the shape of things and how categories mesh together, and you have a expectation-shape for the concept of "robber". then defining "robber" as "the definition of this word such that when used over a given community, results in the least number of thefts in expectation" smears and warps my internal sense of shape for the thing. like a category for a simple thing-in-reality which varies over your community of reference? what does that even look like as a shape? how can you tell who is a robber and who isnt in order to take your tools and operate on it in the first place? its an attempt to communally DRM concepts.

scott is being super neutral here.

like why do people take this concept and apply it to specifically trans women? because scott wants false unity and would like people to smile and get along. which has one downstream effect of people "believing" we are men and treating us as if we are men, but the words from their lips are "she". and then say "how could we be wronging and gaslighting trans women, we all say with our lips "she"?" this is not kindness in a horrible homeless shelter, its not kindness here.

like the urge to embed "communal" DRM into every word is, i think, because scott wants an enclosed well-managed extended bureaucracy, basically to turn things into a video game. not interested in the enclosure, capture, and consolidation of energies.

all of this seems really obvious so i possibly the reason why lots of people who can do spatial over legalism and care about stuff outside of what the enclosure can give them arent saying stuff is that they experience the same sensation of "piping things to entropy" that i do, conclude that its useless and say nothing. anyone who wants to know will know.

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herohawks · 6 years

Text

Five times Connor is forced to call Hank “dad”. They both suffer.

A/N: short little snippets im writing while my wrist is out of commission. dont know if im going to post them to ao3 since kinda crack-ish lmao. feel free to send me prompts.

---

PART 1

“Remind me again why we agreed to this shit?”

Connor hefts a box onto his shoulder and balances another on his hip. Hank is struggling to carry one. The bottom of the cardboard is not taped adequately to withstand the current weight. Hank had been the one to tape this particular box, but Connor thinks it best not to point this out.

“We agreed to take the case because we are one of the few within the DPD who specialize in android-human crime. And, as Captain Fowler pointed out, our particular skill sets will allow us to infiltrate this group much easier than our other coworkers,” Connor says as he leads the way to the front door of their new home.

Hank snorts, uneven steps following not far behind. “Skill sets. Yeah. That what they’re calling it these days?”

“That’s what the captain called it, yes.” Connor deftly switches the box on his hip to his knee, balancing it between his leg and the wall so he can fish out the house key the captain had entrusted to him.

The key latches in easily and Connor swings the door open with little fanfare. He allows Hank to go first under the guise of trying to get a better grip on the box he’s currently holding over his knee. The structural integrity of Hank’s box is nearly at its limit.

“Well,” Hank huffs, dropping the box onto the living room floor with a muffled thump. Connor sets his down much more gently. “Jeffrey has always been too nice for his own good, so I’m gonna set it to you straight. You look like a goddamned twink and Jeffrey thinks your scrawny ass will fit in real well with these other skinny, starving college kids. I’m here to make sure you don’t screw it up.”

Connor looks to the ceiling and sighs. It’s a mannerism he’s picked up from Detective Reed that he quite likes. It accurately and efficiently sums up what he wishes to convey with little effort on his part.

“I am not ‘scrawny’,” Connor says, a tad defensive. “Second, the term ‘twink’ is widely outdated and carries negative conn—“

“Connor. Do me a favor and shut the fuck up.” Hank stretches his back, then groans loudly when it pops. “Jesus, I’m too old for this shit.”

“You only carried one box,” Connor points out helpfully, twirling the key ring on his finger for lack of anything better to do with his hands. He itches to go bring in the other nine boxes stacked in Hank’s car.

Hank rolls his eyes so hard Connor is briefly worried that they’ll fall out their sockets. “Jesus Christ. Just – go get the other boxes, would ya?”

Connor does, and makes good time. Hank grumbles while unpacking the boxes, throwing things in a haphazard manner that must have some sort of logic to it, though it’s not one that Connor can decipher at a glance.

With Hank’s back turned to him, Connor takes the chance to run a quick scan. The lieutenant’s blood sugar is low, and Connor detects a minor muscle strain in his lower back from poor posture and lack of adequate hydration.

They still need to go grocery shopping, but Connor had packed a few granola bars and water bottles just in case. He digs them out of one of the boxes and kneels down beside Hank to hand them over. “You need to eat, Lieutenant.”

“Thanks,” he says gruffly, snatching the water and energy bar from Connor. He sets it aside so Connor leaves him be and goes to unpack the other boxes.

They settle into an easy rhythm. An hour later, Connor hears the telltale crinkle of the protein bar being unwrapped and wisely says nothing when Hank’s mood significantly improves from that point after.

What probably felt like an eternity for Hank but was in actuality three hours and thirty-two minutes, they’re finally finished settling in. Connor is pleased to note everything is where it needs to be when he does a cursory scan of the rooms. Despite Hank’s grumbling, they make a great team.

“Great work, Lieutenant,” Connor says as he comes back into the living room where Hank is currently lounging on the couch. “It seems like everything is in order.”

Hank scoffs. “Don’t act so surprised.” A pause. “And it’s not ‘Lieutenant’ right now. Don’t blow our cover.”

“You’re right. Sorry, Dad.” The moment the sentence leaves his vocal unit, a heavy silence stretches between them. Connor has a peculiar urge to exit the room and not return for maybe forever.

“Okay. That was fucking weird,” Hank says finally, breaking the tense hush that had fallen over the room. He runs a hand over his beard, eyes flicking around but never settling on one thing for long.

Connor feels some of the tenseness in his shoulders melt away at the implication that Hank, too, may be feeling some measure of awkwardness. “I agree.”

“Shit. We need to get our shit together before we’re seen in public.”

“It’ll take some getting used to,” Connor admits, and runs a finger along the outer seam of his jeans. They’re not as comfortable nor as flexible as the pants CyberLife had issued him, but it’s currently the style preference of many young adults, and Connor has to blend in. He still misses his own pants, though.

“Want to go grab a bite and forget this ever happened?” Hank asks as he pulls himself up from the couch with a grunt.

Connor does. “Yes. I would like that.”

Hank makes a valiant effort to throw his crumpled wrapper into the small waste bin set along the floor separating the kitchen and living room. He misses. Connor quietly goes over and places the wrapper in the bin.

“Thanks. Hey, don’t forget your glasses,” Hank says and Connor can’t help but wrinkle his nose. Hank laughs. “What, not a fan?”

“You know I’m not,” Connor says, a little cross. Nevertheless, he unhooks it from his shirt and puts them on. They constantly slip down the bridge of his nose. “It’s impractical.”

Hank does not care about his suffering. “It’s your disguise so quit complaining. You’re not the only one who had to make some changes.”

The lieutenant scruffs a self-conscious hand over his freshly cut hair. It’s shorn short with the top a little longer – it looks good, Connor thinks. Makes him appear younger and highlighting the blues of his eyes.

Connor’s glasses, on the other hand, do not look good. They’re clunky and annoying, and Connor thinks they sit awkwardly on his face. The urge to snap them in half is strong.

“They look fine,” Hank says with the tone of someone who’s said this many, many times, which he has. Connor does not believe him any of those times. “Hurry up. I’m starving.”

“Fine.” Connor is getting better at expressing his displeasure through his tone, but Hank tends to ignore this new development as he does with anything he finds inconvenient.

They decide to walk. More accurately, Connor decides that if they’re going to order something unhealthy, they can, at the very least, walk there. Hank is not pleased. Connor doesn’t care.

A mile and a half later, a small lot with a few food trucks parked in a messy half-circle comes into view. Hank makes a beeline for the hotdog truck so Connor trails behind him. Hank orders a hotdog with only one topping at Connor’s insistence, and Connor buys a small vanilla milkshake to maintain appearances.

The lot is very crowded, but they manage to snag a table near the sidewalk and away from most of the congested foot-traffic. There’s a light drizzle so Connor pops open the umbrella attached to the table. The atmosphere reminds him of their meeting at the Chicken Feed all those months ago, when Hank had been skeptical and Connor had been apologetic and insistent.

That had been one of their first, positive conversations. It’s a fond memory, one that Connor keeps tucked away in his memory files for safekeeping.

“So,” Hank says, snapping Connor out of his musings. “Excited about your first day of school tomorrow?” Hank is grinning so Connor levels him with an unimpressed look. “What? A father can’t have a healthy interest in his son’s education?”

Connor sets his plastic cup down firmly. “No.”

“Don’t be like that,” Hank laughs and Connor shakes his head, rubbing his fingers along his temple in a gesture he’s seen Hank do many times.

His fingers stutter over the place where his LED used to be, the synthetic skin smooth to the touch. He feels oddly naked without it. Vulnerable. He wouldn’t mind the glasses half as much if he could just have his LED back.

Something must show on his face because Hank’s smile fades a few seconds later, replaced with a worried expression. “Hey, kid. You alright?”

“Fine,” Connor says a touch too quickly. Hank’s eyebrows shoot up, clearly unconvinced. He runs a finger one more time over his temple before placing it back on the table. “Nervous, maybe.”

“Hmm. About school?” The way he says it implies he is talking about something else. Connor believes he is inquiring about their current undercover case, so he nods. “Don’t sweat it. You’ll be fine. You’re smart, and a fast learner. You’ll fit right in.”

Connor has his doubts. While he’s done extensive research into the university as well as updating his human integration program to include the most recent pop culture and dialect, Connor can’t help the uneasiness that settles in the pit of his stomach. Maybe Hank is right. Perhaps this is beyond their capabilities.

Connor keeps silent and pretends to sip his milkshake.

College is…an experience.

Connor takes the automated bus despite Hank’s insistence he drive him there. The walkways are constantly flooded with harried students and Connor finds himself having to fight the crowd more often than not.

He observes that many of his peers carry some type of overly-caffeinated beverage on them at all times (there had been a memorable moment when Connor’s sensors had picked up vodka disguised as water in someone’s water bottle, but he’d kept the information to himself). After this observation, Connor stopped by the local coffee shop on campus to purchase a small, black coffee. It reminds him of Hank.

His classes had been fairly boring, but Connor supposes that is to be expected. Hank had told him university was probably going to be uninteresting to an android that could calculate over a thousand possible scenarios in two seconds. Connor had promptly told him it actually takes him an average of 0.53 seconds to compute those scenarios, which had resulted in Hank scuffing him across the head.

Connor, despite his reservations, slots into college life seamlessly. Finding the group responsible for the android hate crimes disguised as hazing is almost too simple. They arrest the group three months later once he’s obtained the proper amount of evidence, plus some. Connor wishes they’d at least make it a challenge.

Overall, a success.

“Good job on your first undercover op,” Hank says over dinner.

Here, Connor doesn’t have to pretend to eat. He hadn’t realized how exhausting it is to pretend to be human. His LED is firmly reinstalled, and Connor brings his fingers up to brush it periodically, the familiar ridges soothing.

Sumo lies by their feet, tail thumping happily every time Connor or Hank looks his way. The Saint Bernard had missed them dearly in their four months apart.

“Thank you.” Connor is pleased with the results. His whole body feels warm, but jittery at the same time, like he has excess energy that can’t be contained. He bounces his leg, he twiddles his fingers, and shifts his posture every few seconds. “I’m glad we were able to bring them to justice.”

“Nah,” Hank says after swallowing a bite of his vegetarian stir-fry (Connor’s making, of course). “You’re just happy you don’t have to wear those dorky glasses anymore.”

“So you agree, then. That they looked bad.” Connor feels betrayed. Hank had told him they’d looked fine. Hank is a filthy liar.

Hank snorts and shovels more food into his mouth before replying. “What’d you do with them anyway?” Avoiding Connor’s sort-of question.

Connor rolls his shoulders in a self-satisfied way, and shoots Hank a sly grin. “On the record, I disposed of them in the appropriate recycling bin. Off the record, they may have ended up in a bonfire at the last party I attended as a college student.”

Hank barks a laugh and slaps the table. Connor smiles, too. “Shit,” Hank says, wiping his eyes. “You make me proud, kid.”

“Thank you.”

“Tell ya what, though. Having you call me ‘dad’ for four months was probably the most awkward four months of my life. As long as we don’t gotta do that shit again, I can die happy,” Hank says, taking a sip of his water.

Connor nods. “Agreed.”

#lmaooo #im trash this is trash #also it was an excuse to have connor wear glasses bc why not #pls dont take this srsly im just trying to keep writing while i have one hand #come scream with me abt bby boy connor if u want #im always in need of inspiration or prompts #dbh #detroit become human #connor #hank anderson #writing

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tova-onova · 3 years

Text

war reporter //get killed before you speak

when you are torn and tortured, before losing your life, you have the most gracious and beautiful dreams

@Moths

*this is what today is made into entertainment as an industry - models starving to death, ballet dancers dying of anorexia because of the stress in their minds and the pain their bodies are too fragile to actually take for a long period of time without pauses for deep regeneration and rest.

(*NOTE: this post is designed to express frustrations, don’t take it literally. an though that is not debated, is false. i put stuff under deconstruction to find peace w/ them. don’t feel offended,if you can)

this pain has to be kept secret, intimate, personal. whispered, not shouted about on media. it is sickness depriving people of their intimate space of suffering or struggling and selling them out for money. to point you either became desperate to try being gracious altogether and you give up on it, or you are left completely isolated and everyone else starts making fun of your personal efforts to reach glory and greatness through grace. i have no space to breathe - this hate reality is suffocating any human being who might mess up and fail, but is ready to continue trying and move on in order to become better at what they want to perfect about themselves in the first place, through art or craft.

INSTEAD YOU BECOME HUNTED and all the grudges othe rpeople have get clened with your intimacy and your capacity of dilligece to genius and grace. you are shamed for beign sog ood, ad it is expected of ou to be ahamed of your competency just because int he smae time some narcissist is feeling lonely and deprived because they are and never can be as good as you. there is no actual reson for hating other, or your colleagues - it is only jealousy and a very poor personal character. strng people cn accept defeat from rivals. ut psychopaths - can’t. they live in their own reality bubble and they are then only judge in it, and the only factor tobe judged - otehrs dont hold any real value to a arcissist, and it is like they don’t exist in the imagined erality fo a narc. many int he cerative industries have acted as full narc so far. and because of this all others that are different re on the verge of suffocating. ad eve if they wanted, they can’t express their desirs to help people learn in their day-to-day lives more about reativity, focus, strategic plnning, maing use of rt to have a healthier and peaceful life, while helping your community nd the evironmet to stay safe and great. the problems of the Earth are woven in fabric. not only social fabric, but al kinds of layers of the human activity that hs been permitted to occur so far. if we do a cleanup of the ocean of human consciousness and subconscious, while also we clean the physicla earth, we have to address big names, big brands, big industries, big practices and big amouts of abuse and narissism, that kill life on all levels - environment, personality, communit,industry, culture. and the ultimte value is ot harmony or beauty - it is money. and thus people who are aggressive ca steal moey while patient peopel who want to deeserve it die from exhaustion trying to earn eough to fund their projects.

but the public is anxious, as well as the agents and the providers of funding. why cn’t a critic wait, since a performer is the gold mine they are digging to make money out of? and how coem they take it all out on the perforemr for beig a human. the can’t create, the oly watch, the have a failed ambition to be the cretor, so they suffer in a pond of anger and negativity. they are dangerous becuse thy are afraid to invest in their love and desires so they become judgemental of others’ work, as they are judging themselves. they erate a false reality and media strts busing the split in their minds to burn rel people to ashes with negatibve hateful comments that ruin their careers if they get to hear them. the world of popular products of culture is sd because obody is feeling like an artist. the feel like a product. so they get offended by every criticism. they dont defend themselves and their genius, they defend brand that they have been turned into for money. this is a very unstable livig style. and it never ends. it has to end because real people lose teir physical strength and they need pece from the nonstop drama of the popular stars who are alws hugr for money and fame, but never feel complete, liek a creator. a creator an keep silent. and can do meditatio by living life shining is part of all of it, it is not all of it.

this is unfair and all of humanity suffers because we ive in an ugly world becaus eof that narcissistic greed.

every beautiful piece has a history of cruelty, but the most cruel thing comes out from the artist who tries to overcome his or her human limitations by becoming even better and more gracious in their craft -

the cruelty comes from the critics who are jealous, from their influence in the media that makes the humanity of the artist seem as a weakness, but the drive of these critics is jealousy and not caring for their colleague - they wanted to be as good and they badly wanted to shine, but they are not as smart, or as tall, or as courageous and hard-working, so instead they resorted to being haters online ro in newspapers or at universities or in printed publications. they spread their poison on behalf of actual craftsmen and artists.

a person struggles when they face their limits and have self-criticism. but they take a break only to regain their power and then try again. today every failure of someone who is trying to demonstrate grace to the entire world, is made into a sensation and the person is balacened as a complete moron, total failure, garbage or unksilled as an artist, simply because he said ‘i need to take a break’. this pace of insanity is called a nuclear war reality. where do you hurry for? what is more important than giving time for a doung to rise and than be baked into a sourdough bread? what more important job do you have than wait and observe and do LIFE?? huh?

and why is the body of a young person expected to compensate for that???? why do you not sacrifice your body if you re in such a big strong hurry to blow yourself up in another hatred-ridden ‘islamic state’ attack on the private space of individuals from peaceful cultures who lead logical lives and are not narcissists who create deliberate chaos to steal attention to themselves, because they re worthless and they don’t do anything all day, but they want to be the actor of their show, because they have sold their soul to a culture that makes them think they are more than everyone else and they are god, but it becomes sad and terrifying and empty because they don;t have anything else but their fake ideas that cant feed them or provide them with warmth and shelter. so they steal nd they terrorize all of the rest - to tare their peace out of them, to torture their brains their guts everything - until everyone is as dead s the narcs are. and they call this massacre dead end game a ‘win’

.........

they are a poison all over internet and everywhere where there are humans who express themselves artistically and want to be able to express their humanity freely

to the point of losing all energy in battling the savage brutality of haters, instead of producing even more enchanting and spectacular art with their skills.

when it is not safe to have a different opinion, and your job and livelihood depends on you putting up with brutality just to make ends meet, how does anyone expect to not see young people who loo alienated and who hate their surroundings? people are irresponsible enough to not care about anything else int he world than their living room and their dinner, but when their grandchildren come and show them a radioactive piece of trash they found while swimming in the ocean, they call the child mentally sick or bad and defiant, and they tell the child it is a threat. Do you really thin that being killed by radioactive weapon is an unreal threat but your child warning you about someone’s plans to low you out of existence is one??? Stupid idiot

-THE REPORT IS INTERRUPTED BECAUSE YOU BECOME MURDERED. a.k.a. YOU GET KILLED-

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dearsadgoat · 6 years

Text

recovery

recently, there was a major fire in my city. a little before the fire happened, i went through probably the lowest point in my life i’ve been in thus far. it culminated into one night of forcing myself to break down a number of walls and fake fronts i put up around me. these stood for about 5 years.

during that 5 year period i lied to myself and tried to trick myself into thinking i was something else so i could fit in with my rapidly changing friend groups, both online and in real life. i started distancing myself from a number of things, including shows, interests, and friends. i pushed away mlp for fear that my friends who were now falling out of it would ditch me if i were still into it. i pushed away my desire to learn music because the relationship between my brother and i only got worse as high school went on. i pushed away old friend groups for reasons so stupid i dont remember anymore.

instead of doing videos for fun and my own enjoyment, i started making them with the intention of becoming popular. i was never good at those and i wasn’t willing to learn to make myself better because i only wanted the success. the worst part about this was the fact that i did it for so long i managed to make myself believe that this was what i wanted, to be making low effort gaming videos on youtube well past its peak. because that’s what I thought I was going to “make it” doing. it should be noted i pushed away a group of youtuber friends before this, who may have been able to talk sense into me.

to this day i have only met one other person who makes videos.

fast forward to a few months ago. back in june, i started a new job, the one im currently working, doing lifeguarding at a pool. in july, my friends and i did our annual trip to anime expo, and aside from some incidents it was fun. i went on vacation with my family to arizona, and we saw a number of beautiful sights. i enjoyed it a lot.

however, this is the end of the fun.

anime expo, as always, brought me the panic of being around so many people. it isn’t the volume of people however, im relatively comfortable in a crowd. its the idea that i can look around in any direction and see people probably way happier and in better places in life than i am. look one way, i see a group of attractive people in cosplay that’s way better than mine. look the other way, i see a group of friends all laughing and clearly have shared interests, unlike my friends where we all have kinda splintered tastes so we don’t spend all the time together at conventions.

i spent a good amount of the convention wandering it with my friend mike. we went as Haru and Rin from Free, him being Haru, me being Rin.

around that time i was having major self image issues. i gained a good amount of weight the months prior, and i couldn’t lose it no matter what i tried, and consistently going to the gym, doing workouts given to me by professionals showing me no change killed my motivation. i couldn’t get myself to even go anymore come june.

so when mike was stopped by 10+ people (i stopped counting after a while) for pictures and to compliment him on his cosplay, meanwhile outright ignoring me, i started feeling like my image issues weren’t just “in my head” like i’d been told. despite this i tried my best to ignore it and move on. except i couldn’t.

the other cosplay i did was a crossplay of Mako Mankanshoku from Kill la Kill. I actually had the right length/hair color for Mako’s hair, so I saved money on a wig and got it cut like hers. the hair actually looked fine in context of the cosplay, however the cosplay in the context of anything was atrocious.

i couldn’t fit into the seifuku i bought, despite being sure to buy a size much larger than what you’d expect. trying to ignore my brain telling me im a fat fuck i improvised with a white shirt and a light blue neckerchief. with the wrong color shoes, basic shirt, neckerchief, basic skirt, and my hair cut instead of a wig, i was the definition of awful cosplay.

i hyped up finally being able to crossdress in public to myself for months. i’ve wanted to crossdress publicly since i was 15. at no other convention in the past did i have the courage. i got rid of pretty much all body hair, and upon finally being able to do so, i thought it was everything i wanted.

looking in the mirror showed me i was nothing more than an ugly fatass trying to look cute. i was the fucking person people at conventions take candid photos of and post on tumblr to make fun of. im sure im gonna one day come across a picture of me in that “cosplay” accompanied with some text about how embarrassing i was.

so with now both my cosplays fun sucked out of them by myself, the rest of the convention went on, but i couldn’t fully suppress the idea that i was unhappy.

the arizona trip i’ll save for another post, it’s a complete offshoot with it’s own backstory.

these are nowhere near all of the events i feel caused enough problems for what happens later, just the major ones. also there’s no way i can write every single thing that’s happened to me and contributed to my sad demeanor over the last 21 years.

after that though, the rest of the summer is a blur, i dont remember anything i did, and i don’t remember starting school again. i just know i’ve been going for almost 16 weeks now.

for some reason, a lot of things that didn’t use to bug me have been bugging me. stuff that I thought i’d grown accustomed to seeing, like the ever poisonous anti-male rhetoric that this site likes to parade. i’ve been on tumblr since i was like 13, i’ve seen it, i should be used to it and know to ignore it, right?

i guess not. every post i see related to something meant to make me feel shitty for being a guy takes another chip at me throughout the day. despite my best efforts i can’t forget them.

i just don’t have the energy to put up with stuff anymore, and it really feels like im out of energy to put into caring about things. i’ve been feeling like this since the beginning of the above five year period of not knowing why i wasn’t happy with what i was supposed to be happy with.

eventually we get to one saturday at work. two pools are being used for an event, the third is being rented out for a kids birthday party. im on the tower supervising the party when my best friend kaylie comes to rotate me. we chat for a sec, and as i start to walk off, she says my name. i turn around and she points at the water. no more than 3 feet from where im standing, two kids are wrestling in the water. except they weren’t wrestling for fun, they were wrestling to get on top of one another and drowning each other in the process. mind you, this is the deepest part of the pool and it’s only like 4 1/2 feet deep. I slide in, hoist up both of them, and launch into the caring procedure bullshit.

i get them out, tell kaylie im going to get a towel, and eventually other guards start asking me what happened. all of the sudden people are toting me as being a hero for making my first rescue withing my first year. you’d think that’s something to be proud of, right?

yeah you’d think that.

i felt nothing. all i had was that i was doing my job, and if it were like ten seconds earlier kaylie would’ve got them. i didn’t do anything special.

of course that ended up as a conflict in my mind, and on the way home i bought alcohol and spent the night drinking alone.

fast forward a few more days, and i get home from work. it wasn’t a particularly hard day, or any major thing happened, just a lot of small little things that chipped away at my patience, a few comments made by coworkers that really weren’t asked for, and this and that ultimately led to me driving home at the end of the night upset.

i get home, and think to myself im going to unwind with some video games. i dont remember what happened or what i was playing, but some major thing happened that led to me calmly turning off the game and turning to my computer to stare at it for the next two hours, only occasionally clicking to something new.

nobody tells you what it’s like to break. partly because, they cant. the way i see it everyone breaks differently. every breakdown i’d had up until that point had been loud, angry, and full of jerky motions through teary, blurred eyes. they were like someone kicking over something i was making in one fell swoop.

this time it felt like i watched someone pick away at the foundation until it all started to slide down like sand.

i broke, at first without tears, questioning what i was doing at that moment, and what i was doing in general. nothing made sense. my head couldn’t keep a thought for a moment. i felt like my chest was caving in. i didnt end up eating anything that night. i honestly can’t describe how i felt and what i did, it was such a blur.

i started going on a nostalgia scavenger hunt. something i had seen recently drove me to want to search out the mlp meetup group i used to be a part of. i found pictures of me and my friends at different events back in 2011, 2012, and i started doing what i can only describe as motioning a whimper. as in, whatever you picture when you think of whimpering, only without sound.

I saw pictures of me being happy, truly happy. i hadn’t been truly happy in the last 5-6 years since these pictures were taken. at least not for more than the occasional time.

as if on queue, a friend from one group of friends i changed myself to fit in with messaged me. i asked him if he wanted to take a trip with me, and i spilled everything.

i confessed to being a liar, a poser, a shitty person who couldn’t even tell his friends that he wasn’t everything he said he was. i told him at one point in my life i had actual ambition and ways to achieve success outside of being the scummy piece of shit i’d become when i became friends with them. (please dont misunderstand, they’re good people, i just had a warped sense of what i needed to do to be their friend back then)

he let me angrily type and rant and have a major breakdown to him without interruption for almost an hour, and finally he paused me and started trying to talk me through this.

after he gave me his piece on the matter, i turned to another one of my best friends, jacob. jacob was one of the irl friends i went to meetups with, and we’ve been friends since middle school. we’re closer than anyone else i know i’d bet, even closer than kaylie and i.

because of time differences, our conversation lasted the next two days, basically telling him everything, that i wasn’t happy with myself, that i haven’t been happy with anything for a long time. the only thing that mattered to me in his response was that nothing was different between us. he said he was going to a therapist soon, and said that i should try it. i have not, and i dont plan to for fear of what i might find out. still, everything he said i took to heart and i thank him for it.

at this point, i decided that i could fix all of this, that i could make myself someone i’d like to be. i was going to work hard and no matter what i wasn’t going to break like that ever again. nothing was going to stop me, no matter the odds.

someone up there must love testing my patience.

a week later, the fire happened. within the span of an hour i had gone from coming home from a test, to helping my mom with the recycling, to rushing home because the sky over our house was brown. the next few hours was me running on no food, a sweaty, ash-covered mess, to get everything of importance out of the house. everything that was too hard to replace was taken. as painful as it was it meant leaving behind just about everything that had value to me, as i took only the things that mattered in a worldly view, not a personal view.

God listened to my prayers that day, and the fires burned half a mile from my house, but no closer. The trail i walked a thousand times growing up was no more. it’s about 4 houses down from mine, to give perspective. everything was black and soot, trees stood with burn marks and missing leaves. The creek was dried up. everything is a mess. i walked out and took pictures of it a few days after, just for memory sake.

that day was a test to see whether or not I was actually going to keep my word. i didn’t break that day, despite wanting to often, and i did what was most important for my family.

since then, i’ve shuffled around a lot of different aspects of my life. a lot of things are changing, and im not comfortable with a lot of them. however, these are good changes. i have to make myself uncomfortable to be able to find what i belong to once again.

and i hope and i pray that this is going to be the time i prove to myself i can break out of this

#text post #dear sad goat

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j-t-k-moved · 7 years

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I've finally done it. I've finished my Trollsona. Me as a Troll. This took much more effort than I thought it would be tbh. Anyway this is gonna be a long post tbh. Also if you wanna like draw my trollsona pls do

Name: Scmare Ttieer [Seh-mar Tear] Origin of her name is unknown.

Age: 7.85 Alternian Sweeps [17 Human Earth Years]

Height: 5'6 feet tall. [Not including horns which are around a foot long]

Eyes: |See picture 5|

Gender: Female

BloodColour: Sapphire Blue |See picture 2|

Theme: Space

Quote From Her: "id rather StAy NEUTRAL on thE SituAtion. lEss ChAnCE of ConfRontAtion."

Symbol: |See picture 6|

Lusus: She didn't fully know what it was. It was a strange creature, not related to any of her interest or any creatures located on Alternia. She cared for it all the same.

Weapon: Double ended scythe |See picture 4| [Weapon is around 4 feet long]

Clothing: Black tank top coated in small white specs (represents stars), her symbol on the shirt in her blood colour. Sapphire blue button up over shirt. Black mid thigh shorts. Black boots.

Hair: Thick black hair. Rests just on her shoulders. Usually up in a high ponytail with a Sapphire blue bow.

Interest: Fiduspawn, singing, reading, drawing, crafting, astronomy and dancing

Dislikes: Confrontation, large groups of people, loud noises, herself

Face: Round in shape. Scar across the bridge of her nose. Square thick glasses covering her eyes. Only make up being some black eye liner |See in picture 5|

Body: Chubby body. Muffin top stomach with thick thighs and arms. Stretch marks on stomach and thighs. Weight is probably around 195 pounds.

Horns: |See picture 3|

Teeth: |See picture 1|

Powers: Aura reading, The ability to perceive energy fields surrounding people, places and things. If she focuses hard enough on person she can see colours surrounding their body. These colours can mean multiple things, from how they're feeling to if that person is inherently evil or good.

Troll Tag: dysfunctionalCosmos

Typing Quirk: Capitalizes letters that are in her first name (except when she types her actual name). But when it comes to the word "Neutral" she caps the whole word. Uses & instead of the word 'And' [Sample of a message she has sent. To whom is unknown:

gREEtingS & SAlutAtionS, My nAME iS Scmare Ttieer. It'S niCE to MEEt you. So uM...i dont hAvE MuCh tiME i nEEd to go finiSh SoME tRAining todAy. My LuSuS will SquAwk At ME if i dont, MAinly bEcAuSE i fEEd hiM AftER & will foRgEt to if i dont tRAin. I hopE wE cAn MEEt AgAin... ]

Hemoloyalty: She does not treat trolls of lower blood caste any worse than she would treat a troll of a high blood caste. Though, she does understand her place on the hemospectrum and that unless she wants to get culled she needs to show respect to highbloods. Describes it as being neutral, even though she doesnt approve of the way low bloods are viewed.

Hive: A very simple Hive, even if a bit futuristic looking.. Made of metal, the whole hive in a circular shape. An observatory located right in the middle of the building on the roof. Used for her interest in studying space.

Respiteblock: Messy room with clothes and tools on the floor. Posters of movies and videogames on the walls, along with some of her shitty drawings. Husktop located on a desk in the back of the room. Recuperacoon is located in a far right corner by a window.

Quadrants: None of hers are filled [Unless you count my self shipping, which can be explained elsewhere]

Ancestor: WIP |Will add link when she is finished|

Dancestor: WIP |Will add link when she is finished|

Basic Personality: [For this I have answered 20 questions to help you understand her personality. Hopefully this helps everyone get a clear grasp on what she's like. Since she is me anyway]

1: Is the character generally approachable or does she keep to herself? Why? A: She usually keeps to herself though she's not completely unapproachable. She finds approaching others to be difficult and usually waits for someone else to make the first move.

2: Is the character a hard-worker, or does she take it easy? Does this nature vary for any particular activity? A: Despite being a blueblood she more of a take it easy kinda troll. Though when she puts her mind to something she can work hard and get it done. Of course if she likes the activity, she is more likely to finish it quickly.

3: Does the character give plain answers to others or is she mysterious? A: Plain answers. She prefers to get to the point of what she means.

4: How does the character feel about pets? How about wild animals? Does she have a favorite animal/pet? A: She loves animals. Though she's afraid to go around them due to her strength. Being a blue blood she had a great amount of strength and hasn't learned to control it well. She worries she will hurt the animals and admires them from afar. She doesn't have a favourite as of now.

5: What is the character's religion? Is the character very religious? How does she show it/observe his religion? A: She is questioning her religious beliefs. She cant decide if she believes in a higher being, or if she thinks that too far fetched.

6: How does the character feel about the local ruler? A: She prefers not to take a stance, she doesn't love or hate them.

7: Does the character have any off-putting habits? A: She has a habit of biting her nails as well as biting skin off her lip. Only does this when nervous or bored.

8: What does the character do to relax? A: To relax she will read or sing. These activities calm her nerves the most.

9: Does the character have any unusual voice or speech pattern? A: Besides her typing quirk she doesn't have much trouble speaking clearly. Sometimes she can be too loud when excited about something, or too quiet when upset. She also tends to ramble when talking online and in person.

10: Why was the character given the name she has? A: She doesn't know where her name comes from or what it means. She believes there is no definition for her name, and that it is just a name unlike how other trolls names have meaning. She quit looking for a answer to it long ago.

11: Does the character have a nickname? What is the source of the nickname? Is it flattering or not? How does she react to it? A: Not being the most social Troll in public, she doesn't have many friends to give her nicknames. She was once called Krem online before and found it cute. So if she were to want to be called anything besides her name it would be Krem.

12: Has the character had issues with the law? A: She has never gone against the law. She doesn't like confrontation. Though she might end up having to.

13: Was there something unusual about her childhood? A: Besides her strange Lusus nothing was too weird for her at least.

14: Does the character have a mentor? A: She would consider her mentor her Lusus.

15: Does the character have a scar or some mark? What was the cause? A: The most obvious scar Is the one she has across the bridge of her nose. She got it when she built her first robot that ended up attacking her and cutting her nose. Smaller scars litter her body from accidents when building.

16: What does she consider her greatest achievement? A: Even though the robot attacked her, she considered it her greatest achievement. It was strong, hard to destroy and packed a punch. She was young when she made it, 4 sweeps, and to build something so sturdy at a young age surprised her.

17: Is she able to kill? Under what circumstances does she find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? A: She is very much able to kill. But she only sees it fit if it is in self defense. She will not attack unless attacked first.

18: Does she believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? A: She does, she believes even the most evil people have one.

19: How honest is she about her thoughts and feelings A: She tries to keep a lot of her feelings to herself in fear of being judged. Opening up emotionally like that is hard for her.

20: Does she care what others think of her? A: She does, she finds herself getting nervous out in public. Thinking other Trolls are judging her.

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The next part is a story the explains her background leading to present time. Backstory Time.

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[BS] You: Be the strange girls Trollsona ======>

You are now, Scmare Ttieer

You enjoy SINGING, DANCING, ASTRONOMY, CRAFTING, READING, DRAWING and a Alternia game called FIDUSPAWN. You are a quiet Troll, even if sometimes you enjoy BREAKING things loudly, who keeps your nose in your own business but opening up when you become close friends with someone. Close enough to fill the Moirail quadrant at the least.

You were hatched on the 9th bilunar perigee of the 1st dark season. Skipping your blurry wiggler days, you were chosen by a strange Lusus after passing your trials. You and your custodian then proceeded to build a secluded hive made of metal in a circular shape.

You spent most of your younger days learning to build and studying outer space. Your fascination with planets and beings outside of your world was never disturbed by your Lusus, so you learned quickly that there was other life forms out there besides Trolls. You vaguely know of a Alien species called 'Humans' but have not gotten far in your studies.

Next to that, You tried to learn how to control your strength and violent thoughts. As a blue blood, you has a incredible amount of strength even if your body doesn't look like it. You once busted a hole in the wall of your Hive that took you days to fix (your repair skill were still in development). Being in your blood caste, these things were expected of you, you were to become a solider after all.

You don't know if you wants that though.

You always had a strange opinion on the hemospecturm. After studying the history of your Dancestor and Ancestor you learned of the ways they reacted to it. You try to incorporate both of their ways into you view, in hopes of doing what they failed at, which was not dying because you have a opinion. Because of this you remain what you call 'Neutral'

This means you are trying not to pick a side, in hopes of avoiding confrontation which could end in death on either side. You don't like treating low bloods like they are lesser than you, you never even called another troll a low blood. You also understands that going against a high blood could end in a culling, so you don't speak against them.

The whole thing is confusing, even for you. Why can't you just make up your mind and fight for what you believe in! Well that's the thing you don't want to fight. Maybe one day you'll figure it all out, you are only 7 sweeps old after all.

At 4 sweeps though, you made a robot. Your first one. You don't remember what its exact purpose was, but it definitely wasn't to attack you like it did. Which is how you got the scar across your nose. You had won the fight with a bit of damage, your Lusii didn't seem Impressed though.

That was basically all of your past, building, training to control violent tendencies, doing activities you liked. Your Lusus was your only friend for a while, before you got into the online world one sweep ago. Talking to other Trolls is a lot easier when your behind a husktop. You mainly just play games and maybe have a conversation or two with some others playing with you.

Even gained the nickname 'Krem' from someone you once talked with. You can't remember who it was or where the name came from, but ...you liked it.

Now a days you haven't been online much. You'll be a adult soon, become a solider like your supposed you. You might skip out on that though.

In case of the inevitable to try to go out more, to make friends but its not working. Its not just that you're shy and have anxiety (it mainly is though), its also becase of your Aura reading abilities. Because of this hard to explain power you can tell if a person if bad or good. Angry or happy. You tend to stay away from the Trolls with bad auras.

Its also takes a lot of focus (since you have trouble focusing on anything for a long time in the first place) to see someone's Aura. So when they catch you starring at them its hard to talk to them after wards and explain why you were looking at them like you were trying not to explode.

Anyway that's all there really is to say about you. Not too special you see. You live a simple life which is what you wanted. You hope it can stay simple.

[BS] You: Quit being the Trollsona and go back to scrolling

#I worked hard on this #and I like it #its me but with troll aspects man #homestuck #trollsona #fantroll #scmare ttieer #my trollsona #hs

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wandering4ever · 6 years

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#delete later

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icechuksblog · 5 years

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The enlargement gel imported from Japan works for increasing the length and girth of your manhood without any side effects. What you simple do is to use the enlargement gel to massage your entire manhood and testicles before going to bed. Once I started using the enlargement gel, I was surprised at the results I got. To ensure it is real, I had to take out a measuring tape to measure my penis size, which was 3.2inches when flaccid but now up 5.5inches. And you know the best part about the Titan enlargement gel, the results are permanent. No shrinking of penis or any side effects of any kind. Yes, your manhood can become BIGGER just like my own when you start making use of the gel. My manhood is now increasing in size and getting longer, we measured it recently and it has added 3.4inches in 4weeks of using the titan gel My wife now plays with my penis and gives me blowjob, sex is exciting and much better! Bottomline is, these 2 products (Duraman Herbal Capsules & Titan gel) recommended for me helped permanently cure my quick ejaculation problem and it also increased my manhood size (no side effect at all).Fortunately for me, I do not have to go through any humiliation or embarrassment of releasing in few seconds and having a small manhood anymore. My manhood is now bigger and normal like a matured man. To top it off, my wife and I are experiencing exciting sex and we make love like young couples now. She's no more irritated by my small manhood because now it is much bigger and makes her scream and moan. What about you? Are you still suffering from this embarrassing problem of having small manhood that makes women run away from you or even deny you from having sex with them? Are you serious about getting a natural cure that can make you last longer in bed and something that works for increasing your penis? If you answered yes, then you should get the 2-in-1 solution Duraman Herbal Capsules and Titan gel to transform your sex life starting from today! Here is a breakdown of the price… Here is a breakdown of the price for the Duraman Herbal Capsules Herbal capsule and Titan enlargement gel Duraman Herbal Capsules only – N12,000 Titan gel only – N11,000 If you are ordering for both (that is, Duraman Herbal Capsules and TITAN GEL) – N20,000 (That is you will get a discount, so you will pay N20,000 only for BOTH) But to Make It Even Better, When You Order BOTH(Duraman & Titan Gel at N20,000) Today, You WillReceive a Bonus - Worth N7,500 - for FREE! Here's full details: When you order forBOTH products todayat N20,000... you will get your own free bonus of theherbal capsule that cures sexually transmitted infections likestaph, gonorrhea, chlamydia etc. BONUS: NADI HERBAL CAPSULE Nadi Herbal capsule is premier tonic for anti-infection, anti-virus, anti-toxin, stable blood pressure. It's effective for the treatment of S.T.Dstaphylococcus, Gonorrhea, syphilis, and urinary tract infections. (contains 30 capsules) One of the main causes of premature ejaculation and weak erections is due to sexually transmitted infections in the body system. And you need to treat them as soon as possible to completely cure your erectile dysfunction. Nadi herbal capsule contains 30capsules for complete cure of sexually transmitted infections and to flush off toxins from your body system.When you order today, you will get the Nadi capsules for free.Remember, the free bonus is ONLY available to those that place their order right away. Don't procrastinate, else you may not get it.So the deal is, place your order for the 2 products, today, and you get access to the extra BONUS, absolutely FREE! Without wasting time, let me show you how to order for these 2 products (Duraman Herbal Capsules and Titan enlargement gel) that will transform your sexual life and make you experience much better sex with your woman. To order for the Duraman Herbal Capsules and titan enlargement gel at the discount price today, follow the instructions below… To erase the fear of getting scammed, we introduced payment on delivery option to all States in Nigeria This means you will pay for the products only when it has been brought down to you face to face by our courier service agentPay on Delivery Option Available to All States in Nigeria Here's How to Order for Your own Duraman Herbal Capsules & TITAN GEL at a Discount Price today (PAYMENT ON DELIVERY AVAILABLE NATIONWIDE) Depending on the product that you are ordering for... *If you are ordering for only "Duraman Herbal Capsules"... indicate the codeDURAMAN HERBAL CAPSULES in your text message... *If you are ordering for only "Titan enlargement gel"... indicate it "TITAN GEL" in your text message... *If you want to order for the 2 products together... text "Duraman Herbal Capsules AND TITAN GEL"... DURAMAN HERBAL CAPSULES ONLY - N12,000 TITAN GEL ONLY - N11,000 DURAMAN HERBAL CAPSULES AND TITAN GEL + nadi - N20,000 Here's what to send to us... Text the CODE with the following information below… 1. Your Full Name 2. Your Phone Number 3. Delivery Address Send This Information as a text message to 08186646303 Please Note: Your address Must Include Local Government and State. Detailed Enough to make it traceable by our courier company that will come around to deliver to you. You will get a SMS and Call from us within 24 hours to confirm your Order Before we Parcel It Across to You. DELIVERY TIME Once we received your order, and your details are correct, you will receive an sms or call confirmation from us. Your products will then be sent to our courier service partner and the items should get to you within 2-5 Days. Note: The product will be packaged discreetly and no one else will know what's inside, and every other information will be kept private and 100% confidential. Option 2 If you live in Lagos, or nearby, you can also walk into our marketing department office to pick up the products. You will meet our team ready to give you these products at same price... That is you Pay at our office, and get it instantly Vantagesoft Marketing Enterprises Block B, Suite 9, Primal Tek Plaza, Beside ECO centre,by Mokola Bus stop, opposite Gowon Estate Market,Egbeda-Idimu road, Egbeda, Lagos. or Suite 3B, First Floor, Shopping plaza beside NNPC Filling station,Ilo awela road, opposite Toll Gate Bus stop, otaoff Lagos-Abeokuta Expressway Or Abuja office Hub: EFAB MALL Extension, suite A-75, 3rd Floor, off Gimbiya street, Garki, Area 11, Abuja, Fct. (Monday - Saturday 9am - 5pm) Customer support line:08186646303 Remember, if you procrastinate on this, two things are bound to happen: Either the prices for the product goes up pretty soon and you pay the normal price which is times 2 or, Your sexual performance continues to worsen because you refuse to use something that actually helps transform your life. Your woman keeps on complaining and nagging, while you get frustrated more. Don’t procrastinate, go ahead and get access to the 2 products today and start using them to become a better lover in the bedroom. Here's How to Order for Your own Duraman Herbal Capsules & TITAN GEL at a Discount Price today (Payment On Delivery Option Available In All States In Nigeria) Depending on the product that you are ordering for... *If you are ordering for only "Duraman Herbal Capsules"... indicate the codeDURAMAN HERBAL CAPSULES in your text message... *If you are ordering for only "Titan enlargement gel"... indicate it "TITAN GEL" in your text message... *If you want to order for the 2 products together... text "Duraman Herbal Capsules AND TITAN GEL"... DURAMAN HERBAL CAPSULES ONLY - N12,000 TITAN GEL ONLY - N11,000 DURAMAN HERBAL CAPSULES AND TITAN GEL + nadi - N20,000 Here's what to send to us... Text the CODE with the following information below… 1. Your Full Name 2. Your Phone Number 3. Delivery Address Send This Information as a text message to 08186646303 Please Note: Your address Must Include Local Government and State. Detailed Enough to make it traceable by our courier company that will come around to deliver to you. You will get a SMS and Call from us within 24 hours to confirm your Order Before we Parcel It Across to You. DELIVERY TIME Once we received your order, and your details are correct, you will receive an sms or call confirmation from us. Your products will then be sent to our courier service partner and the items should get to you within 2-5 Days. Note: The product will be packaged discreetly and no one else will know what's inside, and every other information will be kept private and 100% confidential. Right now, all you need to do is get access to the 2 products; and start using it to get a much bigger manhood and cure your premature ejaculation within the shortest time you ever thought possible. You have the opportunity to get these 2 products now at a much affordable price and save yourself from embarrassment and frustration that you are suffering in the bedroom. Over 3,700 Nigerian men have used these 2 products to improve their sexual performance and they have wonderful testimonies to give about it.Emmanuel - 08186646303

http://icechuks2.blogspot.com/2019/07/warning-to-men-why-erection-drugs-like.html

#http://icechuks2.blogspot.com/2019/07/warning-to-men-why-erection-drugs-like.html Warning to Men: Wh

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