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weighty-ghosts · 1 year

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“Hope Springs”

Hope Springs, by weightyghosts

“When Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter travel to Wales to find Remus' mother's grave, they might end up with more questions than answers.”

Pairing: pre-wolfstar, more like Remus x His Three Besties One of Which He Fancies

Rating: teen

Word count: 2100

Genre: bit of angst, bit of drama, bit of wolfstar foreshadowing

Published: January 31, 2022

Warnings: story takes place in a cemetery so there are mentions of death and dead people; the ending is open to interpretation but it’s basically either spooky or traumatic oops

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44696890

Remus watched in the corner of his eye as Sirius turned his head towards him for the fifth time, opening his mouth to say something before thinking better of it and looking straight ahead again.

James, on Sirius’ other side, was better about hiding his impatience— he was actually quiet for a change— but Remus could still see his knee bouncing rapidly.

And Peter had fallen asleep a good twenty minutes ago.

Sirius’ entire body turned towards him now and Remus heard the intake of a big breath, the kind that usually preceded a rapid fire rant that Remus really wasn’t in the mood for, so he gave Sirius his best glare, effectively shutting that down.

Remus went back to picking at the blades of grass beneath him and staring unseeingly across the cobblestone lane at the simple iron gate.

The silence only lasted a few minutes. Which was more than Remus had been hoping for, realistically.

“Look,” Sirius finally said without preamble, “We came all this way!”

Remus watched James subtly kick Sirius and he closed his eyes against the squirming guilt in his stomach.

“I’m just saying,” Sirius continued, unbothered, “It’s hot, we’re here, let’s just go in.”

“I need five more minutes,” Remus said.

“No,” Sirius whined, “My delicate porcelain complexion can’t handle another five minutes in this Welsh sun.”

“Hate to agree with him, Moony,” James chimed in as he pulled his sticky shirt away from his body, “But it’s hot as bollocks and we only have a few more hours before my parents start to wonder where we are.”

Remus sighed in defeat. “Fine.“

He flinched as Sirius bolted upright and threw his hands in the air in relief, cheering loudly enough that he startled Peter awake.

“Huh? What’s wrong?”

Sirius walked over and patted him on the head, then wrinkled his nose when he realised how sweaty Peter was. “Time to get out of the sun, Wormy,” he said as he wiped his fingers on his jeans.

Peter stood up to stretch widely— and nearly knocked over a woman walking past him.

“Sorry! Sorry,” he gasped, cheeks going bright red.

The woman smiled quickly at him but had her head ducked low, her nose almost buried in the bouquet of tiny blue flowers she was holding. Remus had a teacup and saucer with those flowers on them at home.

“Nice one, Pete,” James said as he also stood and stretched.

Remus watched the woman cross the lane; she looked to be in her early forties, tall and slight. She opened the gate to the cemetery with familiarity, her fingers closing it gently behind her. Remus swallowed and looked away.

“C’mon, Moony,” Sirius said softly.

Remus looked up at Sirius’ outstretched hand and took a long breath before grabbing it and letting himself be pulled to his feet. Sirius squeezed his hand once before letting go and turning to stand beside him, unknowingly squeezing Remus’ heart in the same way. James and Peter lined up next to him and they waited for him to take the first step.

* * * * *

“Are these supposed to be organised in some sort of way?” James asked after a few minutes of searching.

“It’s not alphabetical?” Peter frowned.

James elbowed Sirius for snorting.

“Considering that’s Hughes right next to Fung, I’d say no,” Sirius mock-whispered.

Peter hung his head and blushed. “I just meant it’d be easier if it was.”

“Yes it would be,” James said firmly.

Remus was a row away, his arms crossed over his body as his eyes skimmed the names on each headstone.

Pryce. Davies. Applegath. Rhydderch.

So many dead people.

Despite the August heat, Remus was chilled thinking about all the lives that had been put to rest here. How many people had known just one of the bodies buried below his feet? How many friends had they had? Children, lovers, neighbours, pets… Their lives were as complex and intricately woven together as the roots of the trees surrounding them now.

Perhaps his father had been right all along when he’d told Remus that a grave was no place for a child. Not that Remus was a child anymore at the age of fifteen, but at that moment, he wasn’t actually sure if he was old enough to really comprehend his surroundings and how they made him feel.

“Moony?”

Remus jumped at the voice so close behind him.

“Sorry,” Sirius smiled sheepishly. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Remus shook himself a little and shrugged. “Just strange. All these people.”

Sirius hummed. “I kind of like it though. Makes me feel less alone.”

Remus let out a laugh of surprise. “What? Makes me feel the opposite.”

“Yeah? But how can anyone feel alone when you can see— literally see— how many people have lived and died here? Just in this one place? There must be hundreds of people buried here, hundreds of visitors every week. I think it’s wild how many people there are on this earth, and have been since the beginning of— what?”

Sirius stopped when he realised Remus had too.

“Nothing,” Remus said automatically, staring at Sirius and trying to figure him out. He was such a dolt some of the time— well, most of the time, for as long as Remus had known him— and then he would say or do things that made Remus stop and really look at him. Which wasn’t a hardship, if Remus was being honest with himself after months of denying how breathtakingly beautiful Sirius had become.

“You’re doing it again,” Sirius said softly, breaking Remus out of his reverie.

“What?” Remus frowned. “What?” he asked again when Sirius just smiled at him, feeling his own lips tugging at the corners too.

They both turned at the sound of James and Peter crunching over the dry grass towards them.

“Any luck?” James asked.

Remus felt his face fall a little when he realised Sirius had distracted him from remembering why they were here. “Oh, er, no.”

“How do you spell ‘Howl’ anyway?” Pete asked as he wiped his brow on his sleeve.

“H-o-w-e-l-l,” Remus recited, taking a deep breath before setting off on his mission again. “Hope. Hope Howell.”

* * * * *

Remus had spotted a handful of visitors in the cemetery, but his eyes kept getting drawn to the woman they had first seen go in. She was a few rows away, sitting in front of a small headstone, and was hidden from Remus’ view most of the time by the larger stones and the thick trees between them. But when he could see her, he watched her face dip beneath her straw sun hat as she fiddled with the bunches of tiny flowers; her sandy brown hair just brushing the tips of her shoulders; the modest, pastel checkered dress that moved in the breeze and reminded Remus of summer picnics.

He was filled with an immense feeling of sadness, of longing. Not unexpected when searching for his mother’s grave for the first time, surely, but what was unexpected was how hard Remus found it to watch the other people in the cemetery mourn their loved ones. Something he’d never been allowed to do before for his mother. Something he wondered if anyone would do for him.

He glanced back to where the woman had been but couldn’t see her again.

Remus walked away from the other boys for a minute, thankful that they knew him well enough to know when to push him and when to leave him be. He smiled then. There might have been important parts missing from his life, or cruel parts added in, but he was truly lucky to have what he did.

He was just contemplating turning around to find his friends when he felt a light tap on his shoulder.

“Excuse me?”

Remus turned in surprise to find the woman from before standing right behind him.

“Did you drop this?” she asked in a thick Welsh accent, holding out a single yellow daffodil.

Remus found it hard to tear his eyes away from hers to glance down at the flower, but he did and shook his head. “Oh, no, that’s not mine.”

The woman didn’t react much but she nodded slowly and dropped her hand. Her warm hazel eyes were flickering all across Remus’ face, up to his hair, down to his hands, and Remus probably should have felt uneasy by the scrutiny, but there was something about her that made Remus feel oddly comfortable. She had a calming presence about her, even though she was anxiously twisting the flower in her fingers, and Remus felt safe for some reason, the way he did when he went to James’ home.

“I’m sorry,” Remus found himself saying.

She tilted her head to the side, the small creases at the corner of her eyes deepening, and she opened her mouth to speak, when—

“Moony! Come here!”

He looked over his shoulder to see James waving him over and Remus nodded at him quickly before turning back to the woman.

She took a step back, her eyes downcast now.

“My mistake,” she said, then abruptly side-stepped him and disappeared between the headstones. Remus blinked after her for a moment with a strange feeling twisting in his stomach.

He made his way over to James, who was propping up Sirius from under his arms.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“The drama queen claims he’s expiring from boredom and we’ll have to find him an empty plot before long,” James huffed, stumbling a little under Sirius’ dead weight.

Sirius stuck out his bottom lip and pouted up at Remus. “The end is nigh, Moonshine.”

Remus breathed a laugh and tried to push aside the buzzing in his head that had been building and building since they’d arrived on the train from London. “I think there’s been enough death for one day,” he said, reaching for Sirius’ arm to help James to right him, “Let’s go get some ice lollies and head back to the station.”

“Yay!” Sirius grinned and straightened up.

“Oi, Remus?”

“The muggle ones?” Sirius asked as he skipped along beside him. “The ones that claim they taste like grape or banana but don’t actually taste like any fruit known to man?”

“Eugh,” James stuck his tongue out. “The fudgy ones are so much better.”

“Remus…”

Remus chuckled. “We can look for both—”

“Remus!”

“What, Pete?” Remus huffed as he, Sirius, and James all whipped around to where Peter was standing a little ways away.

“You… Er, you need to see this.”

Remus frowned and shared a confused look with the boys before heading over.

“I just, I don’t know why I stopped,” Peter stammered, “Maybe the flowers, but…look. Look at the name.”

Remus slowed his steps, the chill floating back into his spine as he realised maybe he wasn’t ready for this. “Is it— Is it my mum?”

He felt a solid hand cover his own and looked down to see his fingers gripping tightly onto the fabric of Sirius’ shirt. Sirius squeezed his hand reassuringly and he let go quickly.

“What…the…bloody…”

James was standing beside Pete, gaping at the small headstone.

“What is it?” Sirius asked as he hurried over. “Woah.” His eyes widened before flicking back to Remus.

“Is it my mum?” Remus repeated, a little desperately.

“No, Moony,” Sirius said in an odd voice, “It— it isn’t your mum.”

Remus bit his lip and couldn’t help feeling relieved and disappointed at the same time. He didn’t know what to expect when he stepped closer to read the grave with the little blue flowers placed thoughtfully before it, but it hadn’t been this.

Remus John Lupin

March 10, 1960 — March 1, 1965

Fy machgen anwhlaf (my dearest boy)

The air rushed out of Remus’ lungs and a stunned silence rang in his ears.

“I don’t— I don’t understand—” he stammered, blinking away the sudden tears in his eyes as he turned to his friends. Their faces mirrored the shock and confusion he felt like the sweat beading along his brow.

“March 1, 1965…” James read out slowly. “Is that…”

“The day my mother and I were attacked,” Remus choked out, “The day mum was killed and I became a werewolf— What—” He sucked in a shaky breath.

“Re…” Sirius said. “You don’t think…?”

Remus ran a hand through his hair and the image of that woman’s face came to mind. He glanced over his shoulder in the direction she had disappeared in, his breath lodging in his throat when he unexpectedly remembered that those tiny blue flowers with the dots of yellow at the centre were called forget-me-nots. The same ones on his favourite teacup at home.

That woman. There had been something about her. Something comforting, safe. Familiar.

She was… she was…

Hope.

#ficbyweightyghosts #lil fic #a wee fic #since we're in wales #not me tho i'm still in canada #wolfstar #wolfstar fanfic #that's a big fat lie though because it's pre wolfstar #pre slash #marauders #marauders fanfiction #remus lupin #remus lupin deserves better

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hell-is-otherpeople · 2 months

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#luggage #grunge rock aesthetic #grunge #marauders aesthetic #canada

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kaaaaaaarf · 10 months

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back when we were dinosaurs (1/3) on ao3

Wolfstar. 1/3. 8.5k words. Explicit.

Remus has been coming to the museum since he was a boy. Since before all the renovations— before the Crystal. Back when the main entrance was off of University Avenue and the dinosaurs were huge, terrifying behemoths. Back when he would go running off with his stuffed bunny, and scurry through the low lit room housing the brontosaurus exhibit as fast as his chubby legs could carry him (his mother never far behind). The Royal Ontario Museum has always been magical to him and now, at 32, he is the curator for the paleontological wing. It’s a literal childhood dream come true. Or Remus is the ROM’s newest curator of the paleontological wing. Sirius manages the gift shop and has a dinosaur obsession. They are cute little nerds together and sometimes they have sex in the archives. (aka my Museum fic)

So I was sitting and chatting to @wdcmaxy, and we both realized that we've never read any marauders fic that takes place in Canada— thus, this was born. It will be fluffy. It will be horny. It will be extremely geeky. It’s my fictional ode to Toronto.

Read the tags!

Link to the playlist on Spotify.

#also huge thanks to gab for the beta #wolfstar #fic: museum #fic: back when we were dinosaurs #playlist #remus lupin #sirius black #marylily #lily evans #ao3 #my fic #marauders #epicblueblanket

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dreamcubed · 2 years

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girls like me | remus lupin x reader

song; girls like me [will joseph cook] pairing; remus lupin x fem!werewolf!ravenclaw!reader genre; f2l, soulmates, fluff, mild angst word count; 6,7k timeline; marauders 6th year warnings; swearing, implied self harm, assault, injuries (involving blood), insecurities, implied anxiety summary; after becoming a werewolf over the summer holidays, y/n returns to find that remus lupin, a famous marauder, has an air of attraction around him that she never noticed before

masterlist

"girls like me don't come around that much."

———————————

Y/N Lykos hadn't been born werewolf. That much was obvious. But she wasn't bitten at an awfully young age, either; she was bitten when she was sixteen years old, in the Summer holidays between her fifth and sixth years. It was a shame really, because the event had occurred during what was supposed to be a pleasant holiday to the very North of Canada, to visit family. Her distant cousins who attended Ilvermorny had warned her about there being a couple wild werewolves in the nearby forest. If only she had listened.

A midnight walk wasn't such a bad idea, right? Just a little time to escape the stress of family gatherings, and ease the mind. Y/N really should have thought more logically than to take the forest path, especially considering her high grades and therefore intelligent brain. But, alas, she did not, and wandered down the snow-laden track with the ice crunching beneath her feet. It was eery, as aside from her cold shallow breaths, her footsteps were all she could hear. Everything was quiet. Too quiet.

Eventually, instinct got the better of her, so she turned tail to begin power-walking back to her Canadian family's hidden castle. They were wealthy family members; of course, Y/N didn't have nearly the same luxury, but she wasn't fighting for money back home, either.

In the turn of a second the silence turned to the sound of twigs and rustling of leaves from the trees just beyond the path. 'It's just the wind,' Y/N thought to herself. The memory of her cousins telling her about the werewolves suddenly hurried back, making her anxiously glance up to the night sky to check and try and feel some comfort. But, there it was in all its glory: the shiny full moon. Y/N felt her breath become shaky, shivers not just from the cold shooting up her spine.

A growl.

That was unmistakably a growl.

Maybe things would have turned out differently if she hadn't frozen in fear.

White fur flashed in the corner of her eye. And then the other corner after the feeling of a swoosh behind her. It was then Y/N's eyes locked on to shimmery blue ones, except they weren't pleasant shimmery. They were glaring into her very soul as if she was just a piece of meat. Which, in all fairness, was probably exactly what she was to it. All she could do was watch as it raised its claw, most likely to take a fatal blow to her, but was cut short by another white furry monster pummelling into Y/N's side and sinking its teeth into her thigh. She yelped in pain, and momentarily accepted fate, when she saw the first werewolf attack the second.

The pair began taking part in a deadly brawl, so Y/N took the opportunity to pull out her wand and send up a massive red flare spark, now the pain had brought her back to her senses. She knew doing any more magic than that could get her in trouble, so instead began limping away with her hands providing some sort of pressure to the wound. It was pure agony, and tears streamed from her eyes while she gained little to no ground.

She must have passed out and been found before the werewolves could cause any more damage, because she had woken up back in the room she had been staying in. The bite on her thigh had been healed over, but a scar that would remain forever was still settled there.

For a solid month after that, everyone had kept an eye on Y/N but wouldn't tell her why. She wasn't dumb, and had figured it out after researching werewolves. There was a good chance that she was a werewolf. In fact, there was a very slim chance she wasn't. Every single recorded werewolf bite case had resulted in the victim becoming a werewolf.

And, sure enough, she transformed on the full moon a couple days before sixth year, during which she accidentally injured her parents. They had contacted Dumbledore on the matter, and he told her he would discuss it in person with her when she was back at school.

Needless to say, Y/N was petrified of the damage she could cause, and the rest of her life as a fucking monster.

***

Y/N was punctual as always with getting on to the Hogwarts Express, meeting her best friend, Lily Evans, in one of the cabins.

"Hey, how were your holidays?" the red-head asked.

"Good," Y/N lied, "How were yours?"

"Great!" Lily's emerald eyes sparkled, "Sev and I spent a lot of time together down by the lake."

The train got going in short time, which was, of course, when the infamous Marauders decided to show up, led by James Potter who came to confess his undying love for Lily yet again. Except, when they all entered one by one with Peter coming in last, Y/N couldn't help but notice something different. Remus smelled good. Like, really fucking good.

His almond-coloured eyes pinned on to her as she stared up at him expectantly. She noticed as his nostrils shifted, as if he were sniffing something. Plus, the atmosphere between them had changed completely: before, it was normal, a sense of mild friendship during their brief encounters. Now, there was an unprecedented tension that couldn't be described.

"So, my Lily-flower, how is life treating you?"

"Bugger off, Potter," the red-head snapped.

"Hey, Y/N," Remus greeted, taking a seat beside her without thinking about it, "What did you do over Summer?"

"I- I went to visit my relatives in Canada," she said with a small smile, but all she could focus on was Remus' voice. Rowena, had it always been that deep and attractive?

"Right, come on, Moony. Evans has kicked us out," Sirius said, pulling Remus by the roughs of his collar. The lanky boy gave one more lingering glance to Y/N, before letting himself be pulled out by his friends.

Lily sighed at her, "Be careful, hun, everyone knows Lupin can be just as bad as the rest of them, despite his 'goody two-shoes' reputation."

"Yeah- I know. Did he always smell amazing?"

"Hm? What d'you mean?"

"Do you think he got a new cologne over the holidays?"

"I don't know."

"And his voice! Has he always sounded like that?"

"Godric, Y/N, are you feeling alright?" Lily pressed her hand to Y/N's forehead, "You actually find a Marauder attractive?"

She scoffed, "Don't act like you don't secretly return Potter's feelings," which made Lily's face match her hair colour.

***

"The password is... violet beans?" Y/N frowned, looking up at the statue curiously. Sure enough, it turned around, opening up a staircase that began moving upwards. She hopped on to it, allowing herself to be taken to the top without any required effort. An oakwood door was before her, so she tapped twice.

"Come in, Miss Lykos."

Y/N opened the door, to walk into the large and beautiful headmaster's office. She stared in awe around the room, as it was her first time having ever being allowed into that secluded part of the castle.

"I believe you are aware of what I have called you here to talk about."

"Yes, professor."

"Right, well, this isn't my first time taking care of a student such as yourself. By the way, I'm terribly sorry about the accident."

"It's- it's alright, professor."

"I have arranged for a secluded locked cellar just several metres into the Forbidden Forest that you can lock before transformation. The mind of a werewolf will not have the capacity to figure out the lock on it." Dumbledore gave her the directions. "Do you think that'll be alright?"

Y/N nodded, "Yes, thank you. I'm sorry for being an inconvenience."

"Oh no, never. You're only an inconvenience if you purposely try to bother me."

"Right, if that's all, goodbye, professor."

"Yes. Have fun settling back into Hogwarts."

Meeting with Lily back in the Great Hall for dinner, Y/N took a seat at the Gryffindor table since no one ever paid any mind to her being there. It's not like she was a Slytherin, after all. "Where've you been?" she asked.

"Oh, Dumbledore wanted to talk to me," she shrugged.

"How come?"

"I'm not too sure, I wasn't paying attention," she said. Lying was something she was quickly getting used to, and while Lily narrowed her eyes at her, she didn't comment further.

"I had my first potions lesson today," the redhead began, "Slughorn gave me constant praise for my amazing potion."

"And that's bad because?"

"It gets a little annoying, and I know it'll just make it hurt more if I fail."

Y/N nodded knowingly, "I had muggle studies and transfiguration today."

"I don't know why you even took muggle studies," Lily scoffed, "Your dad's literally a muggle."

"I like to see it from a wizard's perspective."

"I suppose... hey, have you seen Potter?"

"Why? Gonna confess your love for him?"

Lily slapped her arm gently, "No, he just hasn't pestered me all day... which means he's up to something."

"I'm here, my Lily-flower!" an all-too familiar voice called out, "Did you miss me?"

"In your sweet dreams, Potter."

"Ah, Lykos, darling, how are things going?" Sirius said, surprising her as she hadn't realised he had sat down right next to her.

"Fuck off, Black."

"Harsh."

James laughed, "Come on, Padfoot, Lykos' even more stubborn than Evans. You don't stand a chance."

"Shut up, Prongs."

Unfortunately, Remus was nowhere in sight.

***

If only Y/N had elected to bring her wand to the library with her, she wouldn't be in the dilemma she was currently: attempting to obtain a book on magic history from a significantly higher shelf than her. She had jumped a couple times, but had now paused to glare at the spine of the book as if that would inspire it to cooperate. It's a shame the library magic only worked when putting books back. That was when a familiar intoxicating scent wafted up her nostrils, followed by the presence of someone tall behind her, and then a tanned and scarred hand reaching for the book she had almost declared war on.

"You need this?" Remus' voice said softly, making Y/N turn around and flush. She nodded, nervously holding out a hand to take the book. "You really are short, huh?" he commented.

"You're just freakishly tall," she mumbled, but he heard easily and chuckled.

"You know we're in a magic school, right? You coulda just- ya know."

"I left my wand in my dorm."

Remus raised an eyebrow at her, finally handing over the book but still following her over to the table she had set up camp on.

"What do you want, Lupin?" Y/N asked, but didn't really care for the answer. He was there and that was all that was required for her heart to flutter.

"Nothing," he shrugged, taking a seat.

Y/N began reading a book as did Remus, who had picked a random one off the table. Of course, with her mind being distracted by the words on the page, she was no longer actively suppressing her instinct to shift closer to Remus on the sofa they were sharing. He had leant back against the backrest, while she was hunched over the table trying to ignore his intoxicating scent. Thankfully, when she had already subconsciously shifted a few millimetres, the sound of someone biting down on something hard made her head snap in the direction of the noise. Remus.

And he had chocolate.

He arched an eyebrow at her, knowing that she was eyeing the delicious chocolatey treat in his hand. "I don't share chocolate," he said, "Everyone knows that."

"I know-"

"But-" he cut her off, smirking a little, "-maybe I can make an exception." He snapped off a couple squares and handed them to her.

Merlin, when would this boy mature? But, hey, at least he was sharing his delicious snacks.

"Thank you," Y/N said with an extra sweet smile, accepting the chocolate and biting into it, "Shit, this is good."

"You never had Panselinos Chocolate before?"

She shook her head, "My mum always buys me the mainstream stuff."

"Yeah, but normally only a certain type of people like this chocolate."

***

"Fuck, Y/N, you alright?" Lily asked, jumping back after her arm brushed against her best friend's.

"What d'you mean?" Y/N replied, trying not to let her teeth chatter.

The redhead sighed, "You're in a DADA classroom with a roaring fire right there and you're freezing your tits off- hell, you're freezing my tits off! Seriously, are you okay?"

"Yeah, 'm fine. Just a little cold."

"Not only are you freezing up, but Lupin over there is burning up, and he's the furthest away from the fire- look at how he's sweating! He gets a fever every month, I swear."

Y/N glanced across the room at the lanky boy, just as he turned to look at her with her arms wrapped around her body in an attempt to retain any amount of body heat.

"Oh, Godric, he's looking at you!" Lily whispered.

"For a genius witch you are a bit of a Captain Obvious."

Just as soon as Remus had looked, he had looked away, and resumed with the assigned task. Y/N did the same, but not before taking a minute to squat dangerously close to the fire in a desperate attempt to warm up. She knew what symptoms she was experiencing: it was the first full moon of the school year that night.

Dinner was quite a stressful time, and Y/N kept glancing up at the magic Great Hall ceiling to check it wasn't dark yet. She was tapping the table in anticipation and had hardly touched the scrambled eggs she had reluctantly scooped on to her plate. The sickening feeling in her stomach prevented her from consuming any delicacy, other than the expected craving of very raw meat. Anxiously, she watched as the sky gradually turned to a pinky-orange, and decided that that was her cue to leave. Y/N lied to Lily and told her that she didn't feel well and was going to the infirmary. A special thanks to James Potter for flirting with Lily and therefore preventing her from offering to come as well.

Entering the gloomy Forbidden Forest was less nerve-wracking than Y/N had anticipated. But maybe that was because part of her felt as if she belonged there; after all, she was a monster too. The trap door was in the exact spot Dumbledore had said it was, and had a weird magical lock that she managed to work out quickly: she wasn't a Ravenclaw for nothing.

There was a provided safe for when she had stripped herself of her clothing and wand to lock them away safely overnight, and according to Dumbledore, the room was soundproof, so no one would hear her outrageous howls.

***

Madam Nosokoma, the school nurse, tapped gently on the trapdoor the next day, under which Y/N was lying exhausted, wounded and nude on the floor. She forced herself upwards to pull on a jumper and some shorts, before grabbing her wand and opening the door. "Hey, honey, how're you feeling?" she smiled.

"Tired," Y/N sighed, climbing up the ladder with all the energy she had left. Nosokoma supported her weight as she limped back up to the castle; the pink touch of sunrise brushing against the hints of blue in the sky. Just as she was helped through the doors of the infirmary, she laid her eyes on three of the Marauders crowding round an injured Remus on a hospital bed. They all turned to look at her, their eyes widening in shock at the bleeding scars littered all over her revealed legs, and the blood seeping through the woollen jumper.

Y/N didn't have the energy to acknowledge them all that much, but she was somewhat confused. Remus had always disappeared once a month, granted, but she had never paid much mind to it since they weren't close. Never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined he was getting injured. Almost like he was a werewolf.

The suspicions settled in Y/N's mind.

"Lykos, what are you doing here?" James asked, but all Y/N could give him was faint smile as Nosokoma began magically patching up her wounds. In fact, she had passed out by the time the bandages were done.

"Is she alright?" Sirius turned to Madam Nosokoma, sparing a glance to his bed-ridden friend of whom was also nearly passed out.

"She'll be fine, she's just had a rough night."

Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs exchanged glances, before looking at Moony to see he was fully out cold.

***

Remus woke up a couple hours later, as he was able to recover relatively quickly since he was so experienced. He laid his eyes on the bandaged sleeping girl a couple beds down from him, and the worst case scenario popped into his head. Had he hurt her? What if he had bitten her? Nosokoma was nowhere in sight, so he cautiously and painfully forced himself out of his bed to stand by Y/N's. Out of nowhere, Nosokoma appeared behind him, gazing down at the sleeping girl as well.

"Did- did I do this?" Remus asked, worry filling his glistening chocolate irises.

"No, Remus, you didn't," the nurse sighed.

He looked slightly relieved, but still confused, "Then what did?"

"That's not my secret to share."

"Okay..."

"Anyway, now you're up, you need to take the healing medicine, so we can get you back to class as soon as possible."

Remus was gone by the time Y/N was awake.

***

"Merlin, Y/N, where have you been?" Lily cried, practically throwing herself on to Y/N. It would have hurt if the wounds hadn't been magically healed over, the only remnants being the scars littered across her skin, that were covered by her chosen baggy school jumper.

"Oh... just the infirmary... I was feeling sick, remember?" she shrugged, taking a seat at the Gryffindor table.

"Yeah, if you define feeling sick as being covered in wounds and blood," Sirius, who was just a little way down the table, scoffed.

Y/N glared at him.

"You what?"

"I'll tell you later, okay? Not here," she replied. She knew she should tell Lily, her best friend, and also that she could trust her with such a hefty secret.

Lily narrowed her eyes, "Yeah... okay..."

***

"You're a- you're a werewolf?"

"Yes, an arctic werewolf- and you don't have to make it sound like an awful thing! I feel shit enough about it as it is."

"Right, sorry, it's just sudden information. Did you say you got bitten while you were in Canada?"

Y/N nodded, sitting down on the grass by the Black Lake and pulling her hands down her face. The Autumn breeze was nipping at her cheeks, but she was too stressed to think about the coldness in her bones.

"Hey, I'm- I'm so sorry you have to go through this..." Lily said, her green eyes laced with concern, "Is there- is there anything I can do to make it easier? Does- does it hurt?"

"I don't know, Lils... and, I mean, it's agony at first but then I black out and don't become conscious again til morning..."

"Animagus!"

"Hm?"

"Animagus," Lily repeated, "What if I became an animagus? My patronus is a doe, which is fairly large, and werewolves only crave human blood. I could help you while you're transformed-"

"I don't wanna put you in danger."

"I don't care, Y/N, you're my best friend! I'd do anything for you."

"Becoming an animagus is difficult."

"I'm sure I'll manage," Lily grinned, "I'm actually quite excited thinking about it- obviously it'll be illegal... I'll just keep it a secret til I graduate when I'll register myself..."

"You're planning a lot from such a brashly made decision."

"Eh, I've been wanting to become an animagus for a while. Now I have a decent excuse."

"Rowena, what would I do without you?" Y/N chuckled.

***

"I think I've finally mastered talking with this mandrake leaf in my mouth," Lily said, sucking on her tongue, "Thankfully the awful taste has disappeared now."

"I can't believe you've had that thing in your mouth all week. How do you eat? How do you sleep without choking?"

Lily shrugged, "I made a potion that I take before bed. It stops anything from going down my throat, other than air, of course. And eating isn't too hard if I push the leaf to the side."

"Ah, my dear Lily-flower, Lykos!" the voice of James called, making the girls turn to see three boys behind him. The Marauders.

"Great. Here's trouble," Y/N muttered. But, she had to admit, seeing Remus did make her go warm and fuzzy inside. The boys joined them in their position in the secluded corner of the library, which really begged the question of how the fuck did they find them?

-two minutes prior-

"Where is Lily?" James whined, trailing behind Sirius as they entered the library to find Remus.

"Maybe you should stop bothering her," Peter mumbled, silently walking behind James.

"There's Moony," Sirius grinned, ignoring the previous topic.

James immediately asked the wolf boy, "Do you know where Lily-flower is?"

"Probably with Y/N."

"Do you know where Y/N is?" James' eyes lit up hopefully, "You've taken a huge interest in her lately!"

Remus looked up from his book, before rolling his eyes, and scrunching his nostrils in a sniff. "Come on," he said, standing up to lead them between the aisles of the library.

"How much of a stalker do you have to be to recognise Lykos' scent?" Sirius laughed.

"Her scent is very distinct." They rounded a corner. "Here they are."

-present-

"Hello, Y/N," Remus smiled, sitting beside her.

"Lupin," she greeted.

"Godric, can't you just call me Remus?" he said. Y/N could tell it had come out unexpectedly, as he normally was quite reserved and much less straightforward around girls.

"O- Okay, Remus..."

He grinned.

Y/N glanced at the book he had carried all the way over, "What's that you're reading?"

"Oh, nothing-" he said, rereading the title of Werewolves: The Concept of Mating. She read the title for the first time herself, and looked back up at him to lock eyes.

"Can I- can I have a look?"

"Oh- uh- yeah... but I'm- I'm not finished reading it..." Remus handed her the book.

She flicked through the pages, skimming over each page until she found one that read Signs of Mating. Y/N paused, and cautiously began to read the bullet points that followed while Remus watched her.

• A mate's scent will be intoxicating and addictive to a werewolf. • The feeling of kissing a mate for the first time will send the mind to euphoria. • Werewolf mates can calm each other down during a full moon. • Something as simple as a mate's touch will instantly be calming. • In rare cases where a regular werewolf mates with an arctic werewolf, the difference in temperatures during the full moon phase will reach an equilibrium when they touch.

"I didn't know arctic werewolves existed," Remus said nonchalantly, "I've always found werewolves interesting."

"Yeah... interesting..."

He looked her up and down, not in a sexual way, but as if he were judging her character. "Why were you in the infirmary last week?"

"I just- I just took a fall," Y/N said, "Why were you in the infirmary?"

"Same as you," he said slowly, leaning closer, "I just took a fall."

"Come on, Flirty Moony," James called, evidently finished flirting with Lily for the time being, "We're off."

"Goodbye, Y/N."

"B- Bye, Remus."

When the Marauders had disappeared, Lily turned to Y/N with a mischievous look in her eyes, clearly suspicious of her and Remus. "So... what's with you and Lupin then?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah, that's what they all say."

"Okay, fine. Is it just me but is he really hot? Like really fucking hot?"

"I mean he's cute, yeah, but, Godric... has being a werewolf made your hormones rage or something?"

Remus hadn't taken the book back, and at Lily's statement Y/N couldn't help but glance down at the page she still had open in thought.

"What is it?"

Y/N handed the book over; she closely examined Lily's face while she read over the bullet points.

"You don't- you don't think...?"

"He's always disappeared once a month... he's covered in scars... he was reading that book... and he kept talking to me as if he knew..."

"Now that I think about it... it does make a lot of sense," Lily pondered, "In fact... it seems unlikely that he isn't a werewolf. But, wait... are you implying you think he's your mate?"

"...Yes?"

***

The tension between Remus Lupin and Y/N Lykos truly was something else: they would look at each other and feel their collective breaths hitch, and their hands would brush against each other and they would melt. Y/N didn't exactly know how to start a werewolf conversation, so left it, but, of course, the next full moon came around. It was the evening of the day of the full moon, and Y/N could feel her body freezing over. Lily had gotten too concerned and dragged her into the Gryffindor common room. McGonagall hadn't said anything as she was aware of Y/N's current condition.

Lily tried her best to wrap her best friend up in jumpers, blankets and with a hot chocolate by the fire, but Y/N was still shivering uncontrollably. She was showing no signs of warming up whatsoever. "It's- it's get-ting worse..." she chattered, curling into an even tighter ball, "I'm so- so c- cold."

The redhead looked around distressingly, until she remembered what she saw in the werewolf book about mates. If Remus was indeed a werewolf and also Y/N's mate, he would be able to equalise their temperatures. The Marauders were messing around at the other end of the common room, and Lily couldn't help but notice how Remus was practically passed out on the sofa, sweat droplets on his forehead. He was covered in ice packs, but they clearly weren't doing anything. "Y/N, I've got a better idea."

"What?"

Lily took the hot chocolate out of Y/N's hand and pulled her out from underneath the layers, dragging her all the way over to the boys while trying to ignore the fact her hand was freezing up. "Oh! My Lily-flower came to me!" James gasped.

"Shut up, Potter," she snapped, turning to Remus, "What's up with Lupin?"

"He's got a fever," Sirius said.

"Bullshit," Lily muttered, making all the boys' eyes snap towards her, including Remus'. She placed the hot chocolate on the table, and forcefully pushed Y/N to fall on to Remus' lap. If she hadn't been so cold, she would probably have blushed.

"Oh my Godric, you are literally a block of ice," Remus' eyes widened. He had never felt relief from his hot spells before.

"And you are so fucking hot," Y/N muttered, but immediately cringed at her choice of words. All the words to use for 'warm', and she chose the one with sexual connotations?

Thankfully, he said nothing on the matter, as he was too focused on the temperature relief he was finally feeling. Y/N glanced up in shock when she felt Remus' warm calloused hands cup her cheeks, but he wasn't looking at her. His eyes were closed and his head was resting on the back of the settee. She let out a small breath, feeling her blood warm up, which allowed a blush to rise to her cheeks. In a split second rushed decision, Y/N buried her face into Remus' chest, causing him to react by tightly securing her in his arms.

"Well then," James said, "Does this mean you will be hanging around with us more, future Mrs Potter?"

Lily glared at him, "In your sweet dreams."

"Is Lykos alright?" Sirius asked, seemingly more curious than concerned, "She looked like she'd just trekked through the Arctic."

"She's just got the shivers."

"Bullshit. What is it really, Lykos?" Sirius turned to look at the girl curled up on Remus' lap. Unfortunately, she couldn't respond, because she was fast asleep on top of the only source of warmth she required. Remus appeared to have drifted off as well.

***

"The sun's setting," James suddenly said, shaking his sleeping friend with a sense of panic.

"So?" Lily said calmly, trying to hide the fact she was worried that Y/N needed to get outside.

"So, we've got... plans..." Potter continued, managing to wake up both of the werewolves, "Moony, come on, it's almost dark."

"Shit," the boy cursed, carefully pushing a yawning Y/N off of him, "Sorry, I have to go."

Y/N's eyes snapped open as she finally registered what the others were saying. She, too, muttered a, "Shit," and jumped off the sofa to run over to the portrait hole. Lily didn't follow, since she wasn't yet an animagus, but the boys ran after her for a reason she was too worried to think about.

Once out the castle, Y/N sprinted down the grassy slope, nearly tripping on the way, to enter the Forbidden Forest. The Marauders watched from the top of the hill as she ran, piecing together what was happening. "You don't- you don't think she's...?" James trailed off.

"Yeah... Yeah, I think she is," Remus replied, "Anyway, we'll worry about that tomorrow."

They all nodded, before sprinting over to the Walloping Willow.

***

Madam Nosokoma came to collect Y/N earlier than she did the previous full moon, and as they walked up the hill, the boys were also supporting a wounded Remus on the way to the castle. "R- Remus..." she murmured, before passing out entirely due to blood loss and exhaustion.

The infirmary time went pretty much like the previous one, but what came after was different. Both of them were pretty sure that the other was a werewolf, but how exactly does one start up such a conversation? They weren't close enough to justify telling the other they were a werewolf for the sole reason of trusting them, and it's a little too insensitive to just ask 'hey, are you a werewolf?'.

And, so, the following month consisted of intense avoidance between both the Marauders and Y/N, since there were things that had to be said that couldn't be said. But, in more positive news, Lily successfully became a doe animagus, and was clearly ecstatic at her new ability. "I can help you now!" she had beamed.

Until, it was, again, the evening of the full moon, and Remus cornered Y/N in the library while visibly sweating. "Remus..." she mumbled, trying to suppress a shiver, "What-" she gulped, "-what do you want?"

"Come with me," he said, holding out his hand. Y/N glanced at the darkening sky outside, but still apprehensively accepted his offer, which allowed Remus to drag her out of the library. He dragged her all the way out of the castle, until they were outside standing on the grass.

"Remus- I- I have somewhere I need to be-" she said, watching the last bit of sun fall under the horizon.

"So do I," he said, tightening his grip on her hand, "What are you? Scared of the dark?"

"N- No-" she whispered, witnessing in pure horror as the white sphere peeked over into the pool of white-speckled navy blue.

"Y/N!" Lily's voice called from behind, followed by her grabbing Y/N's wrist and pulling her away from the boy, to drag her down to the Forbidden Forest in a sprint. The Marauders appeared behind Remus, and he spared them a glance paired with a frown, before sprinting after them. His friends followed suit.

There wasn't time to climb down into the cellar. The moon had risen quickly, and was shining down in all it's glory on to Y/N, who yelled, "Lily! Get back!" before collapsing on the ground in pain as she felt her bones crack and move.

The redhead quickly morphed into a doe, just as the Marauders arrived, with Remus falling on to the ground as well. James morphed into a stag, Sirius morphed into a black dog, and Peter morphed into a rat. Lily looked at them in shock, but most prominently at James who was a stag. She was a doe; he was a stag. She was torn from her thoughts at the sound of a growl from an arctic werewolf figure beside her, who was quite small but still deadly. Lily turned to what Y/N was glaring at, to see a larger brown werewolf, Remus, growling back at her.

Out of caution, she silently crept over to the other animagi, positioning herself beside the stag that was James. The werewolves let their front paws touch the ground as they growled more deeply at the other, ever so slowly edging closer and closer. Until, Remus suddenly stopped, and tilted his head as he sniffed the air. Y/N continued to growl, but didn't attack as he proceeded to approach her and lick her nose. That made her stop growling, and she backed up with a small whimper.

Remus barked, and began panting like a happy dog, making Y/N tilt her head. He got into a playful panting position, but snapped out of it when Sirius dared to come any closer. He growled at the dog, guarding Y/N behind him protectively. Lily decided to step forward, since she wasn't a canine and also a girl, so the chances were that Remus wouldn't see her as a threat. He didn't react to her, which allowed for her to approach her werewolf friend and rub her head affectionately against her.

The night was both the weirdest and easiest full moon any of them had ever experienced.

***

Y/N woke up with a start at the foot of a tree by the Black Lake, curled up in Remus' arms - something she did not expect. She gave a brief scan of her body, and was surprised (but relieved) to see that there were no new scars littering her skin. Remus was in the same situation. Their friends had evidently gone through the effort of getting more clothes for them, and draped them over their sleeping bodies so as to avoid public nudity.

She felt him stir next to her as she scanned the surrounding area and saw Lily asleep with her head on a sleeping James' shoulder, and Sirius and Peter also in physical contact with each other as they slept. The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon and the temperature was warm but breezy.

Y/N could truly say that she felt peaceful in that moment.

"Good morning," Remus spoke gently, rubbing his nose against Y/N's cheek.

"Morning," she replied, watching as he looked his body up and down for scars.

"Nothing?" he said in surprise.

Y/N nodded, "Nothing."

Remus's face stretched into the largest grin she had ever seen bestowed upon his face. His calloused hand soon touched her cheek and tilted her head towards him, allowing him a decent angle to conjoin their lips in a chaste kiss. Y/N's mind had never been filled with so much warmth and butterflies before that moment, and for the first time in his life Remus felt like he truly belonged.

They eventually pulled away when they heard movement from a couple of their friends around them. Sirius was waking up, and yawned as he sat up and groggily looked upon Y/N and Remus. He remained sleepy for a few seconds, before a sudden realisation appeared to shock him fully awake.

"Moony - you're not injured!"

Remus' face split into another grin.

"Merlin, did we actually get some sleep last night?"

His loud voice awoke the others sleeping underneath the trees.

"What time is it?" Lily asked, clearly not yet having registered she was asleep on James' shoulder.

"The sun's still rising, so around seven, I guess," Y/N replied.

"Lykos," Peter spoke for the first time that morning, "You're a- you're a... you're just like Remus."

"A big surprise... but not an unwelcome one if it keeps Moony calm on full moons," Sirius added, and it was only then James' eyes opened.

He gaged his surroundings, doing a double take when he noticed Lily still half-asleep on his shoulder: his gaze on her made her finally realise her position, and she shot up instantly, her face bright red.

Deciding against saying something to her, he looked towards Y/N, and said, "I mean, I guess Moony isn't the only Moony now."

A penny dropped in Y/N's head, and she couldn't believe that she hadn't made the connection before that moment. "Your nicknames are your animagi!"

"Took you long enough, Lykos," James said, making her glare at him.

"Believe it or not, Potter, I don't spend every waking moment analysing your lives."

"Except Moony's," Sirius added.

"We should head back up," Lily finally spoke, "Before too many people are awake."

Everyone agreed, and after Y/N and Remus had awkwardly pulled back on clothes, began tiredly standing up to trek up the grassy slopes to the castle.

"I can't believe it. This is the first time since I was turned that I haven't needed medical care after a full moon," Remus said to Y/N as they took the back of the group on the walk.

She beamed at him, "Well, it's only been a couple months for me, but I can still appreciate how nice this is."

"It happened over the summer?"

Y/N nodded, "While I was in Canada. I'm an arctic werewolf, if you hadn't figured that out."

"I had," he reached his hand out to grab hers, "I'm just so- so relieved. I've felt like a monster all these years because there's never been a way to calm me down while I'm turned, and I've been so so scared of hurting people."

She glanced up at him, to see him staring ahead at the grass.

"I haven't felt this peaceful and just- human- in so long."

"I don't think we're humans, Remus."

He chuckled, "Yeah, yeah, I know. But I feel like I have more control over myself now, which makes me feel more human."

"My life has changed so quickly in these last months."

"Mine too. I've been feeling more and more like a monster everyday-"

"Well, if you're a monster, then I'm a monster."

"You could never be a monster, Y/N," he said gently.

She scoffed, "Hypocrite."

"Let me finish what I was saying - I've been feeling more and more like a monster everyday... until now."

He gave her the warmest smile, paired with the kindest eyes she had ever seen.

"Well, I guess we can't ever be away from each other now - at least on full moons," she said.

"I think we're gonna be close to each other a lot more than once a month, love."

"What- what do you mean by that?" She watched with widened eyes as Remus began laughing.

"You know exactly what I mean," he winked, before breaking into a sprint up the hill.

"Moony, get back here!" she yelled after him, beginning to run as well.

Soon, all the others of James, Sirius, Lily and Peter began running as well, yelling questions of why they were running, but laughing all the same.

And just like that, the new exciting years of friendship, self-confidence, and love began for them all, but especially Remus and Y/N.

———————————

masterlist

written; 18/11/2020 —> 21/06/2022 published; 24/06/2022 edited; —/—/——

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x y/n #young remus lupin #young remus x reader #young remus x y/n #remus #remus x reader #remus x y/n #harry potter #hp oneshots #hp fanfic

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blitheringmcgonagall · 11 months

Text

P.S. I Still Wait for You

Chapter 3/4

Read Part 1 here

Read part 2 here

Uncanny Valley, that was what muggles called it. Like being in France except everything felt different, and he couldn’t quite catch what everyone was saying – different phrasing, idioms, completely different accent. Québécois felt so similar and yet so foreign. He loved it. Of course, one couldn’t just apparate to Canada, so coming here had been far too time-consuming for his liking. But once in Montreal, finding her hadn’t taken him long at all. She had always said if she continued living as a muggle, she would never have had the money to go to university, but she would have liked to study nursing. Student nurses got paid, badly. Evans was impressive. What was the best hospital in Montreal, he asked? Jewish General Hospital, he was told. A taxi ride, sweet-talking the right people, and Bob’s your uncle*.

“Afternoon, Evans,” he says, walking up the steps.

She’s fiddling with the key in the lock, auburn waves blowing into her face, shopping bag clutched under her other arm. She nearly drops it when she hears him, whirls round to face him – leaning on the porch, black leather jacket, tight jeans, all cool, calm and collected. Distinctly cool, perhaps cold, it is worth noting.

“Sirius,” she says.

It annoys him that she still remembers not to call him Black.

“I need a word.”

She stares at him, as though weighing up whether she could get rid of him some way. But she knows she can’t, not with his wand pointed at her and the stubborn look on his face. She’s not stupid.

She steps aside and motions for him to enter, emerald eyes guarded and wary. He stands in the kitchen as she busies herself putting the food in the fridge, the cupboards, avoids looking at him or talking to him. Patience was never his forte.

“Evans,” he says.

She looks up, frazzled.

“I just started working on the general medical ward. I’ve been nursing someone in the isolation room with meningitis. If you want to speak to me, you’ll have to wait. I need to have a shower first.”

He can’t figure out if she’s telling the truth or avoiding him for a bit longer. He wants to ask her why she went shopping or put everything away, if she’s so concerned about contamination, but she’s already gone.

“Merlin, fuck,” he says to himself.

He finds a bottle of Irish whiskey, pours himself a generous tumbler, and sits himself down on the couch, takes in his surroundings. He’s surprised to see a photo of her friends – Lily with Dorcas, Marlene, Mary, Alice. He gets up and wanders around the tiny sitting room, picks up another photo from Hogwarts, this time Lily with the marauders. James has his arm around her in this one, has eyes only for her. He pulls her in closer, plants a sweet kiss on her temple. She looks up at him, enthralled.

Funny. Weird as fuck.

To hell with it. He opens the cabinets in the sitting room, pulls out a few old records, her Gryffindor scarf, her old potions books. A blanket he recalls her mother made her. Her graduation scrolls. An old cardboard box. Letters.

Interesting.

He’s not usually like this, but all’s fair in love and war (and this situation might tick both those boxes from his pov). He skims over them, speed reads them. The letters are sweet – loving nostalgic ones from Mr. & Mrs. Evans; snooty, irritating ones from Petunia (she cared about Lily though, you can read it in the way she rudely checks to see is the war still ongoing, pretending not to be bothered), a couple of adorable ones from Remus that make him feel all mushy, like the embarrassingly lovestruck fool that he is. Hilarious ones from Mary. He finds a pile from James, tied up in string. He has the decency not to read them. Why she keeps them is a mystery. At the bottom he finds a torn, crumpled letter. He removes the ridiculously basic disillusionment charm on it (it would work on muggles and clearly that’s all she’s worried about here).

Dearest James, Mo stoirín,

Nothing compares to the misery of leaving you this way, of knowing how devastated you were, of knowing I broke your heart, and not being able to explain myself. Sometimes when I can’t bear it any longer, I cast a muffliato here inside these four walls, and scream the reason out loud, until my voice is hoarse. I have never felt more lonely, more angry, more defeated, more powerless.

Sometimes I swear to myself I will leave this place and get back home, tell you everything. I see your reaction in my mind. Sometimes you forgive me, you understand why I did it. Sometimes you’re angry, can’t understand how you didn’t find a way to work around that magic. Sometimes I dream I tell you and you stop breathing, turn purple and fall breathless at my feet. You die, and I am powerless to help you. I wake up distraught. I promise you, I tried. I spent hours, days, years consumed with trying to think of ways to break it. I am not allowed to tell you, to tell your friends, anyone at all. I have come up with nothing. I hate myself for being so useless.

Some day, I want you to know. I want to die before you. People say that muggleborns and half-bloods don’t live as long as purebloods. I hope that’s true. I have syphoned off a memory. I could not show you now, but when I’m gone, I want you to take it to the old pensieve in Laurelmere, Monty’s family heirloom. I will leave it for you in my will. That, and your letters and our photographs. Then I’ll be able to rest in peace.

I have found some meaning in my life. I love my job. But this is not what I wanted, what I hoped for.

Yours till the very end,

Lily

He stares at this clue, vital. He has no idea what language no stoirin is in, but he could bet his fortune it means my love. Then he folds the letter carefully and places it in his pocket. He finds a fine crystal vial, enwrought with silver vine, filled with a cloudy suspension. He slips it inside his leather jacket. A flick of his wrist and the room is tidy as before.

The door opens.

She stands there, watching him, biting her lip. He notices the tension in her jaw, her shoulders, the gauntness of her cheeks. He walks over to her slowly, takes her hand in his.

“Come to our wedding,” he asks, quietly, squeezing her hand carefully between his own.

“You proposed?” she gasps, the first signs of gladness he has seen.

“He did,” he admits, sheepishly, feeling a warmth across his own cheeks.

She squeezes his hand back.

“Remus says if you aren’t there he will never be able to enjoy it,” he adds.

“How did you find me?”

“Detective work, Evans,” he smiles enigmatically.

She frowns.

“How?”

“Come and I’ll explain,” he says. “You don’t need to speak to Prongs, we’ll understand. Just one evening, for old time’s sake. You owe me this much.”

“You owe me too,” she replies, raised eyebrow.

“You saved me thrice. I saved you four times. Then the war ended and you didn’t get to pay me back. You owe me.”

She sighs. He hugs her then, a firm, warm hug, full of promise.

“Please,” he whispers into her hair. “You were one of my best friends too. And Moony’s. Don’t think we ever stopped thinking of you.”

He can feel her shoulders heave, a quiet, swallowed sob. When she lifts her head up, her eyes are red.

“I’ll be there,” she says.

TBC…

Bob’s your uncle * expression used immediately after a set of simple instructions and roughly means the same as 'and it's as simple as that!' In 1887, British Prime Minister Robert Gascoyne-Cecil appointed his nephew Arthur James Balfour as Minister for Ireland. The phrase 'Bob's your uncle' was coined when Arthur referred to the Prime Minister as 'Uncle Bob'. Apparently, it's very simple to become a minister when Bob's your uncle! Conservative PMs still at it today, except have moved on to handing more than £1 billion of contracts to companies run by Conservative “friends and donors” since the start of the coronavirus pandemic; and shorting the economy and whatnot… Bob is still very much your sugar daddy…

#Jily #jily fanfiction #Lily Evans #James Potter #jple #lejp but anyway #p.s. I still wait for you #angst #with a happy ending #??#jilychallenge #jilychallenge 2023 #better late than never!#I will post to ao3 #soon

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pressedink · 6 months

Text

Chapter 1: Regulus Black

i did a thing!! please love it and bask in the gloriousness of the marauders in the scott pilgrim universe (aka canada)

#marauders #james potter vs the world #harry potter #jegulus #wolfstar #scott pilgram vs the world #scott pilgrim #himbo james potter #pixie dream girl regulus black #fanfic #queer #it’s milk and eggs bitch #Evan’s vegan #barty crouch junior #regulus black #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin

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defjux · 2 years

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200 of my favorite albums that I swear by, from any genre - limited to one per artist. I always wanted to do this since the start of the decade and finally got around to it. I’ve had a lot of different musical obsessions up to this point and periods where i was deep into specific genres so I tried to make sure all of that was represented here. Overall it’s a mix of personal classics that I go back to constantly, albums that helped form my taste, and some recently stuff I love. Didn’t want to stress too much over the order, but i’d say the first 50ish are pretty accurate. I’ll post the list below, and a version of the charts with the titles included. Let me know what you think - any favorites here? What would some of your picks be? Let me know. Peace. Charts with album titles included 1. At the Drive-In - Relationship of Command 2. Organized Konfusion - Stress: The Extinction Agenda 3. Aesop Rock - Labor Days 4. Ghostface Killah - Supreme Clientele 5. Cannibal Ox - The Cold Vein 6. MF DOOM - MM..Food 7. De La Soul - Buhloone Mindstate 8. John Coltrane - A Love Supreme 9. Converge - Jane Doe 10. Billy Woods & Blockhead - Dour Candy 11. The Mars Volta - De-Loused in the Comatorium 12. Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth - The Main Ingredient 13. Portishead - Dummy 14. The Dillinger Escape Plan - Ire Works 15. Björk - Vespertine 16. El-P - I'll Sleep When You're Dead 17. The Roots - Illadelph Halflife 18. Isis - Wavering Radiant 19. The Pharcyde - Labcabincalifornia 20. Miles Davis - In A Silent Way 21. Edan - Beauty and the Beat 22. Deltron 3030 - Deltron 3030 23. A Tribe Called Quest - Midnight Marauders 24. Company Flow - Funcrusher Plus 25. Every Time I Die - The Big Dirty 26. Gospel - The Moon Is a Dead World 27. OutKast - ATLiens 28. GZA/Genius - Liquid Swords 29. DJ Shadow - Endtroducing..... 30. Dälek - From Filthy Tongue of Gods and Griots 31. Stereolab - Dots and Loops 32. Refused - The Shape of Punk to Come 33. Mos Def - The Ecstatic 34. Boredoms - Vision Creation Newsun 35. Freestyle Fellowship - Innercity Griots 36. Redman - Dare Iz A Darkside 37. Armand Hammer - Paraffin 38. Panopticon - Autumn Eternal 39. Wu-Tang Clan - Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) 40. Godspeed You! Black Emperor - F# A# ∞ 41. Black Star - Mos Def & Talib Kweli Are Black Star 42. Ornette Coleman - Science Fiction 43. Electric Masada - At the Mountains of Madness 44. Orchid - Orchid 45. Alice Coltrane - Journey in Satchidananda 46. Digable Planets - Blowout Comb 47. Grouper - A I A: Alien Observer 48. Public Enemy - It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back 49. Charles Mingus - Let My Children Hear Music 50. Camp Lo - Uptown Saturday Night

51. Milo - who told you to think??!!?!?!?! 52. Boris - Flood 53. Stan Getz & João Gilberto - Getz/Gilberto 54. Dr. Yen Lo - Days With Dr. Yen Lo 55. Avantdale Bowling Club - Avantdale Bowling Club 56. zeroh - awfulalterations 57. toe - For Long Tomorrow 58. Sun Ra - Sleeping Beauty 59. Dark Time Sunshine - ANX 60. Kayo Dot - Choirs of the Eye 61. Kate Bush - The Dreaming 62. Boards of Canada - Geogaddi 63. Unwound - Repetition 64. Jeru the Damaja - The Sun Rises In The East 65. Massive Attack - Mezzanine 66. Black Moon - Enta Da Stage 67. Tim Hecker - Harmony In Ultraviolet 68. CunninLynguists - A Piece of Strange 69. Quasimoto - The Further Adventures of Lord Quas 70. Glassjaw - Worship and Tribute 71. Sonny Sharrock - Ask The Ages 72. J Dilla - Donuts 73. Aceyalone - A Book of Human Language 74. D'Angelo - Voodoo 75. Jam Baxter - ...So We Ate Them Whole 76. Pharoah Sanders - Karma 77. Danny Brown - XXX (Deluxe Edition) 78. Gravediggaz - 6 Feet Deep 79. Sonic Sum - The Sanity Annex 80. Death - Symbolic 81. Funkadelic - Maggot Brain 82. Mach-Hommy - DUMPMEISTER 83. Prince Paul - A Prince Among Thieves 84. Nas - Illmatic 85. Grant Green - Idle Moments 86. Gang Starr - Moment Of Truth 87. Agalloch - Ashes Against the Grain 88. O.C. - Word...Life 89. Ne Obliviscaris - Portal Of I 90. Joni Mitchell - Hejira 91. Mr Key & Greenwood Sharps - Yesterday's Futures 92. Little Brother - The Listening 93. Max Roach - Members, Don't Git Weary 94. Cult Favorite - FOR MADMEN ONLY 95. Deftones - White Pony 96. Marvin Gaye - What's Going On 97. Cocteau Twins - Treasure 98. Prince - Sign o' the Times 99. Pageninetynine - Document #8 100. Boldy James & Sterling Toles - Manger on McNichols 101. NoMeansNo - Wrong 102. Fiona Apple - The Idler Wheel... 103. Baroness - Blue Record 104. Drive Like Jehu - Yank Crime 105. Alcest - Écailles de lune 106. Raekwon - Only Built 4 Cuban Linx 107. David Bowie - The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars 108. Madlib - Beat Konducta Vol. 5-6: A Tribute To Dilla 109. Aphex Twin - druqks 110. Electric Wizard - Dopethrone 111. Siah & Yeshua dapoED - The Visualz Anthology 112. Discordance Axis - The Inalienable Dreamless 113. Mastodon - Crack the Skye 114. Juggaknots - Re:Release 115. The Cure - Pornography 116. Wolves in the Throne Room - Two Hunters 117. Erykah Badu - Mama's Gun 118. Fela Kuti - Expensive Shit 119. Blu - Below the Heavens 120. Ohbliv - Retrospective 121. Shibusashirazu Orchestra - 渋星 (=Shibuboshi) 122. United Nations - The Next Four Years 123. Mobb Deep - The Infamous 124. The Chariot - Long Live 125. Serengeti - Ajai 126. Heltah Skeltah - Nocturnal 127. Talking Heads - Remain In Light (Deluxe Version) 128. Autechre - LP5 129. Lil Ugly Mane - THIRD SIDE OF THE TAPE 130. Roc Marciano - Reloaded 131. Yndi Halda - Enjoy Eternal Bliss 132. Albert Ayler - Spiritual Unity 133. Open Mike Eagle & Paul White - Hella Personal Film Festival 134. Melt-Banana - Fetch 135. Bad Brains - Bad Brains 136. Deathspell Omega - Paracletus 137. Nujabes - Modal Soul 138. Nails - Unsilent Death 139. Cavalier - Private Stock 140. Flying Lotus - You're Dead! 141. The Avalanches - Since I Left You 142. Lightning Bolt - Hypermagic Mountain 143. Envy - Insomniac Doze 144. Gojira - From Mars to Sirius 145. The Doppelgangaz - Lone Sharks 146. System of a Down - Toxicity 147. letlive - Fake History 148. Goodie Mob - Soul Food 149. Death Grips - Ex Military 150. Jeromes Dream - Seeing Means More Than Safety 151. Standing On The Corner - Red Burns 152. Hüsker Dü - Zen Arcade 153. maudlin of the Well - Leaving Your Body Map 154. Oddisee - The Good Fight 155. Krallice - Years Past Matter 156. tricot - T H E 157. Gorguts - Obscura 158. Kvelertak - Kvelertak 159. Shabazz Palaces - Black Up 160. Sade - Love Deluxe 161. Opeth - Ghost Reveries 162. The Fall of Troy - Doppelgänger 163. Batsumi - Batsumi 164. Deafheaven - New Bermuda 165. Leonard Cohen - Songs of Leonard Cohen 166. The Number Twelve Looks Like You - Worse Than Alone 167. Dragged Into Sunlight - Hatred For Mankind 168. Earl Sweatshirt - some rap songs 169. Burial - Untrue 170. Mgła - Exercises in futility 171. Emperor - Anthems To The Welkin At Dusk 172. Fugazi - Red Medicine 173. Lord Finesse - The Awakening 174. Cult of Luna - Somewhere Along The Highway 175. Cryptopsy - None So Vile 176. The Ahmad Jamal Trio - The Awakening 177. Bohren & der Club of Gore - Black Earth 178. Lauryn Hill - The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill 179. Bear vs Shark – Right Now, You're In The Best Of Hands 180. Wormrot - Voices 181. Broadcast - Tender Buttons 182. Swans - Swans Are Dead: Live '95-'97 183. Yves Tumor - Heaven to a Tortured Mind 184. AFI - The Art of Drowning 185. Mazzy Star - So Tonight That I Might See 186. Botch - We Are the Romans 187. NEPTUNIAN MAXIMALISM - Éons 188. Sigur Ros - Takk... 189. Rubberoom - Architechnology 190. Herbie Hancock - Sextant 191. Big K.R.I.T. - 4eva Is a Mighty Long Time 192. Oh No - Oh No Vs. Now-Again 193. Weyes Blood - Titanic Rising 194. Hella - Hold Your Horse Is 195. Loma Prieta - I.V. 196. Defcee - Lacuna 197. Genesis Owusu - Smiling with No Teeth 198. Brutus - Nest 199. Bruno Pernadas ‎- Those Who Throw Objects At The Crocodiles... 200. The Koreatown Oddity - Little Dominiques Nosebleed

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