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wackatoshi · 4 years

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under control

semi eita x f!reader

summary: (fake dating au) he thinks he’s got it under control / “you’re my fake date to a wedding bc my relatives won’t stop pestering me about getting into a relationship.”

tags: @occasional-haikyuu @miyulovestowrite @1-800-go-away

He thinks he’s got it under control.

Semi’s fingers tremble as he tugs at his shirt collar. He frowns at the mirror critically, debating on whether it would be too much to call Tendou to triple check his outfit again. Does the tie match? Is it too long? Do his shoes look too brown?

He shakes away the doubts and steels himself, repeating the mantra he’s been drilling into his head over the past two weeks.

It’s not real.

Of all the questions you could’ve asked him that day, he’d never expected to have heard that one. You were twirling the spoon in your coffee, a faraway look in your eyes, feet tapping absentmindedly.

“What’s wrong?”

You snapped out of your trance, meeting his questioning stare with a guilty expression. “Nothing.”

“Come on. You’ve been stirring your coffee so long it’s turning into foam.”

“I-” you stopped, biting your lip and staring out into space again.

You sighed, shoulders slumping.

“I just have something crazy on my mind,” you admitted at last. “Tell me it’s stupid, alright?”

Semi raised his brows. “Only if it’s stupid.”

So you spilled everything about the upcoming wedding - the third you’d been invited to this year - for that distant relative you met, what, once?

Everyone was coming. The last time you’d seen some of them, they’d gratuitously took it upon themselves to find you a suitor, on discovering you were ‘still’ single.

(“I got calls from Latvia!” you groaned, incredulous.

Semi couldn’t help the smirk. “What, they couldn’t convince anyone here?”

You punched him in the arm. He figured he deserved that one.)

Then, you’d popped the question so bluntly, so honestly, that it hit him between his eyes.

“How would you feel about being my boyfriend?”

He reeled, choking on his drink.

“For the wedding!” you rushed to explain. “Just to make it seem like a real thing to them, you know?”

Two weeks later, Semi’s still not sure why he said yes.

His friends, at first, were anything but supportive - Tendou had laughed, hung up, then called to laugh again. Reon courteously texted a simple and forthright clown emoji. Semi, scowling at his phone, had made sure to give them each a piece of his mind.

Now, he takes a long look at the mirror again, inhaling sharply as the nerves flutter within him. Pretending is nothing new to him, so why did it seem to matter so much?

It doesn’t mean anything, after all.

But when he sees you later, he realises: this means everything.

His mouth goes dry. “Hi.”

Semi wouldn’t call himself fashion-savvy, but he thinks that dress was handcrafted especially to be worn by you. He fumbles over his words as you reach up to fix his tie.

“Hi.”

You step back and admire what you see, a satisfied little smile on your face. He fights the blush that crawls up his neck, spreading across his cheeks.

When you ask him how he is, Semi wonders if he should tell you about the nausea that’s building up inside him. That the world is spinning, that his stomach is flipping, that his hands are clammy so don’t hold them -

But it’s too late, because you’ve already slipped your hand into his, and his heart stutters at how comfortable this feels. Somehow, in spite of the fact that he’s even more flustered, all red cheeks and averted eyes, the world spins a little steadier, a little kinder.

“Ready?”

“Yes.”

No.

Your lips quirk into a grin, squeezing his hand. As you walk into the hall together, your arm hooked in his, he thinks maybe, just for today, it’s okay to pretend that this is all real.

He thinks he’s got it under control.

The conversation flies around him - so many prodding questions and how’d you meets and I’ll crush you if you break her hearts.

Semi leans back, puts on a polite smile, and deferentially assures he would never. He sips his drink, letting the warmth abate the last of his nerves. The rest have been eased away by your hands, running up and down his back.

There’s a nagging thought that wonders if he should be a little concerned at how easily he’s slipped into this facade. Like he hasn’t dreamt of it a million times before, memorised what it would be like to call you his. His girlfriend.

So he nods agreeably through the small talk, leans into your touch, and banters with the guests. At some point during the evening, he finds himself with you on the dance floor, swaying to some cheesy, overplayed, sleep-inducing song that he hates.

It would be hell with anyone else. But it’s not anyone else, it’s you, and he thinks maybe this isn’t so bad after all.

With your arms looped around his neck, while his lay snug around your waist, he feels the last ten years of his life flash by him.

That one muggy afternoon in middle school, the very first time he’d heard your voice - crisp and clear, like biting into a piece of fruit, all the sweetness dancing on your tastebuds. He’d spent every day thereafter trying to get your attention.

Then, on his first day at Shiratorizawa High, he’d looked up in surprise when you walked into his classroom, the light from the window rushing to cling to you. “Sunburnt,” was his genius lie when you asked about his red face. But his greatest plan, of course, was convincing you to tutor him. It had been the very start of your friendship, seeing him through all those reckless and dramatic years that seem so long ago now.

You bump sides with another dancing couple, and he latches onto the way your eyes light up in amusement - they glitter when you laugh, did you know that? - and the seemingly perennial sunshine that follows wherever you go.

He’s slipping.

“Having fun?”

He blinks down at you, furrowing his brows. “I hate this song,” he says, bluntly.

You laugh, and he flushes with pride at the sound.

“Thank you so much for doing this,” you tell him sincerely, your voice a notch below a whisper. It sends a shiver down his spine.

“It’s alright.” He wonders how to tell you that you look nice. But more than nice, really - that you look so good he might just write a couple songs about it for the rest of his life, that it may possibly keep him awake tonight, that it’s taking everything in him not to believe this is real.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you,” you say with confidence. “Anything - I owe you.”

Semi shakes his head, dismissing your offer because what more could he possibly ask from you? He’s whipped.

He realises that his friends were right about it, back in high school.

“Semi-Semi’s in love,” Tendou sang, waltzing around the club room, narrowly avoided the rolled-up towel Semi chased him with. “Tell him, Wakatoshi-kun.”

“I will ruin you-”

“Mm, he’s right,” Ushijima acceded, barely looking up.

Semi glared viciously, hardly able to believe his own captain was contributing to this disaster. Tendou hooted, fist punching the air in victory.

“See?”

But even his scowl couldn’t crack Ushijima’s unreadable expression, so Semi directed his glare to Shirabu instead, who really seemed to be getting a little kick out of all this.

“You should tell her,” Tendou teased, wrestling the towel from Semi’s hands. “You might regret it if you don’t say something.”

And he did. In between all of your lousy ex-boyfriends, he’d been there - stewing over his repressed crush and wondering why hearing their names stung so much.

Because they were stupid, he thought, and you’re my friend.

Now, beneath the flickering fairy lights and the overwhelming scent of flowers and perfume and romance, he knows.

He thinks he’s got it under control.

You talk to him about the stars in the night sky, swinging your clutch loosely by your side. You talk about finishing college and the terrifyingly huge world that exists outside of that building. You talk about all of your hopes and dreams and fears. He listens, and steels himself not to drown into this ocean, not to fall off this cliff.

The street is silent, save for the distant hum of crickets and the soft buzzing of the lamplight. The world feels different at 2AM.

And when you look up at him and smile, it’s different. It’s not the kind of smile he’s used to seeing from you - and there are many brands he’s grown familiar with over the years. There’s affection tucked in the crinkles by your eyes, a slither of shyness trapped in your irises. It’s warm and gentle as always, but there’s something magnetising about it this time.

He feels himself being pulled in, teetering towards the edge.

“I guess I’ll see you later,” you say, quietly, but your eyes roam his face, searching for something, and he feels his heart buoy up with hope.

With one last lingering gaze, you turn around to leave. On instinct, Semi reaches out, wrapping a hand around your wrist, tugging you back. He leans in slowly, carefully, and takes the last step.

And he lets himself fall, his heart racing as he soars down the endless void of the unknown, putting everything on the line. There’s still time - time for you to pull away, to step back and let him shatter his tentative hopes.

But when your eyes flutter shut, he sighs in relief as his lips meet yours, gentle and sweet, infused with the affection he’s kept locked in his chest just for you. It fills his mind with colour, like fireworks and springtime and the very first time he ever saw you. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of finally getting something you’ve waited so long for.

You break the kiss when a delighted smile blossoms on your lips. He doesn’t fight the giddy grin on his, contentedly resting his forehead against yours, hands intertwined with your fingers.

“I don’t want to pretend anymore,” he confesses, earnestly. “I’m sick of pretending like I haven’t been in love with you for the past ten years.”

You laugh quietly, a reassuring sound that puts him at complete ease, and reach up on the tips of your toes to plant another chaste kiss on his lips.

“You could’ve told me earlier,” you tell him. “I would’ve said yes.”

Semi scoffs. “What, to that moody eighteen-year-old me? It’s a wonder how you even put up with me as a friend.”

“Best friend,” you correct, nudging him. “And hey, weren’t all us eighteen-year-olds moody?”

“Maybe,” he accedes, ��but I was especially difficult.”

“Well,” you grin, “you know I love a good challenge.”

A soft laugh escapes him, and he can’t help but think about how easily you can open him up, and how much he wants to unravel his soul before you, to bare his heart in his hands for you to hold.

For now, he wraps you in a hug, pulling you tight against his chest.

(He could stay right here, he thinks, even if the earth exploded and the skyscrapers came crashing down, and when everything he’s ever known gets pulled apart right in front of him. He thinks this would stay.)

You sigh into his chest, hiding your smile in his shirt.

He used to think he had it under control. He’d kept his feelings in check, each one tucked away in little boxes with yellow “Do Not Open” warning tape strung over them. Every word and every smile had been a carefully crafted thing, vague enough to be unassuming, yet friendly enough to keep him hopeful.

But falling in love was never something within his control. Like a spanner thrown in the works, it had sparked chaos in his world. Between each stolen glance at you, he’d begged his heart to relax in your presence, resisting the curse of attraction, refusing to step out of his perimeters.

Now, with you in his arms, he thinks there’s beauty in uncertainty, in the unpredictable, in venturing into the unknown - that there needs to be a little chaos to make control worth having.

#semi x reader #semi eita x reader #semi eita #eita semi #hqappreciation #haikyuu x reader #semi eita imagines #haikyuu #shiratorizawa imagine #shiratorizawa x reader #fake dating

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regrettablewritings · 3 years

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My Bad Batch Season 1 Finale Thoughts That Nobody Asked For

Spoilers aside from the obvious alert: I actually didn’t mind it

Now, admittedly, this is probably because I’m not a Crosshair stan. If I’m being honest, I actually don’t mind Crosshair as much as I probably should. But my stance on him is more towards neutral-to-appreciating-him-as-a-character.

That being said, most of what I’m gonna blab about is gonna surround the ongoing Crosshair situation (in no particular order) because that’s what we’ve been left with and what most of the fandom is currently up in arms about.

Unrelated, but because I am a fake fan, I never knew Kamino could ever really be sunny and calm. In a weird way, it was a beautiful juxtaposition against something so . . . sad. Like, they finally reach the Marauder at daybreak and after everything they’ve gone through, the storm is gone. It’s calm. Which makes all they’re about to do all the more deafening in a sense.

As stated before, I actually didn’t mind the finale. Was it anything crazy? Not really. My heart rate definitely picked up constantly, but it was admittedly coming from how hyped up the feeling of “anyone could die” was. When I realized at the end that nobody was going to die (yet), I started calming down.

But in-between all that, my emotions were in constant combat with me understanding (or trying to reason out) everyone’s arguments going on.

I see people upset with Wrecker for victim-blaming Crosshair, and I get that -- to a point. Yes, Wrecker knows how the chip works and should be one of the ones most empathetic to Crosshair’s supposed lack of control. However, this only stands to a point. Remember, if Crosshair’s telling the truth (which . . . we’ll get to later), then that means that he was really not responsible for his actions at first. If the chip really had been removed a while back, then his actions up to that point were something he could be held accountable for. I think those parts were the actions Wrecker was referring to, not the whole damn thing.

In a way, I do like how Tech approaches the matter. It’s admittedly stiff and could easily come off as hurtful if used by the wrong person, but it suits how Tech’s mind works and frankly reminds me a lot of myself in how I approach certain, more emotional matters. Admittedly, this is because I read Tech as autism-coded, so maybe that’s why I’m more ready to accept his stance?

. . . Actually, you know what? No: I like Tech’s stance because it’s clear cut and just plain facts. Tech knows his brothers more than what he’s probably given credit for, and his point is correct: You needn’t agree with someone you care for just because you can understand their points. There’s a ton of scenarios that are ethically questionable at best that I can understand the reasoning behind while also recognizing them as potentially morally reprehensible. Black and white are only reached through a spectrum, and it’s not an easy spectrum to traverse. That being said . . .

The other common argument I’m seeing is about how the fighting amongst the original four Batchers (specifically Hunter and Crosshair) seems to go against their whole brotherhood thing. And I’m just gonna throw my two pennies into the ring and weakly say . . . not quite. I’m gonna admit that I may be splitting hairs and trying to make a bundle but I feel like in such a high-intensity situation, it makes sense for neither side to be yielding.

Both sides are hurt: Crosshair is dealing with abandonment and feeling like his brothers “just aren’t getting it”, and as far as his brothers are aware, he’s either been trying to kill them or has been trying to willingly go against what they thought they stood for. Is it the most sensible situation? Not really. But emotional things rarely ever are.

That being said, nobody in the Batch is really all that emotionally mature or aware, though. And I think it’s very easy to forget that sometimes. I don’t know if it’s got to do with the fact that they’re soldiers, that they were rapidly aged and thus didn’t have time nor the environment to healthily explore such issues, the social isolation they more or less experienced due to being different from reds, or what, but it ought to be remembered that Omega is the most emotionally stable of the bunch. Everyone else is sort of just stumbling and trying to reel in what they’re feeling and how to express it without necessarily having the proper tools or experience to do so.

Also, let’s be real: You’re not as pristine as you think. If you were in a similar situation where your loved one seemingly betrayed you, tried to kill you multiple times, then brought you back home to convince you to join the very people who tried to hurt you guys in the first place, only to reveal that they’ve been intentionally working for them for a good while, you’d be hurt at the very least. And when you’re hurt, emotions fly around like a bat stuck indoors: It’s lost, confused, afraid, and in unfamiliar territory so it flails around, aimlessly looking for a way out even when those around it are trying to help it.

Let’s talk about this chip before I forget what I wanna say. I’m disappointed they didn’t bring it up. I need answers just like every other bitch in this fandom because . . . I dunno, I just don’t believe what he says. Something doesn’t quite add up. Or maybe it’s just because deep down, I want to believe he’s good; just difficult. Most likely so wrapped up in his purpose that the thought of being without and having his life all been seemingly for nothing admittedly frightens him. That’s something actually pretty interesting for a guy like Crosshair, considering he wears whatever heart he has beneath at least three fishing cable knit sweaters.

I just would’ve liked some acknowledgement of it -- even if confirmation that the chip was really gone the entire time would’ve hurt me. Like, Omega couldn’t give a knowing glance when sitting in the dark of the Batch’s barracks and say something like, “You know, it’s not too late”. Or, if it was gone, Hunter outright telling him that he knows he’s lying. (Because, like, given Hunter’s abilities, he arguably could be like a human lie detector a la Matt Murdock.)

Granted, it could be something explored in season 2. I’m trying not to get my hopes up, though, in the event Filoni and crew decide once more to paint me up like a pretty clown and parade me through the square. But in all seriousness, if the chip’s presence or absence confirmation is meant to be an actual point of discussion, I don’t think it’d necessarily be a bad thing for it to come up later. I mean, people were theorizing for ages that Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond. And we still stayed watching SU and pretended to be surprised when it got confirmed.

I do think how the group parted ways could’ve been more, as it was emotional but in all the wrong ways. But my constant need to compensate and make excuses for things also flared up. Should the Batch have been more reluctant to leave Crosshair once more? Probably. But they were also probably just done with all this and really took that revelation about the chip to heart, realizing that all they can really do is let him choose. And since he chose the Empire, there’s really only so much energy they could keep exerting. Reminder, these guys are kinda like children and dealing with a very personal situation that they kinda just lack the emotional awareness for.

Am I disappointed in Crosshair’s decision? Of course I am. But I’m not surprised and I understand why he, as a character, would do it. I understand why everyone does what they do, and this just aligns with how stubborn Cross is and what he’s already made clear to his brothers: By serving the Empire, he could still have a purpose.

. . . Or can he?

Okay, maybe I do care about Crosshair more than I think I do. Because we know he’s going to get off Kamino somehow, and it’s most likely going to be through the Empire, yeah? Immediately, my thought was, “But . . . they might kill him. Or at least attempt to.” After all, he let the Batch go. Even if he lies about it for their sake, the Empire will eventually learn the truth. Hell, just the fact that he seemingly let things get out of control before the decimation of Tipoca City could get him a one-way ticket to an execution. Though . . . Crosshair, beyond his skill set, is still a profound soldier: He’s still a competent fighter. Who knows? Maybe this opens up a possible escape scene involving stealing a blaster? Who knows! I love a good fight scene regardless of my feelings on a character!

Though, given his expressions, there’s honestly a good chance that even though he’s willing to lay in the bed he’s made, it doesn’t mean he won’t miss the others. You can make a decision for yourself and stick with it while recognizing the accompanying sorrow.

Though who knows? You could even argue that he may feel in too deep and is just sticking to his guns (no pun intended) because of it. Like he’s clinging to the concept of purpose even at the cost of losing one thing he knows (his brothers) because he feels stuck on the other thing he knows (being of use to a higher power). There’s frankly a lot that could be discussed here but don’t get me started.

But I digress. I get why the Batch left. I get why Crosshair wanted to stay behind. Yes, it could’ve and probably should’ve been a bit more emotional regardless of how tired everyone probably was of everything because this is their brother. Whom they’re parting ways with once again, and there’s no telling when they’ll see him next and if that next time, they’ll be his targets once more.

(But I think that may be giving too much credit . . . One of the other complaints going around that I firmly agree with is how not enough characterization for Tech, Echo, and Wrecker was given for most of the season. They were more or less boiled down to their specialties for gimmicks than given much to say or do besides when thrust into action scenes. This is honestly probably why I really liked Tech voicing his own personal stance on Crosshair: It’s the closest thing we’ve gotten all season to how he feels. The closest we got from Wrecker was him admitting to missing Cross, and Echo never really says anything on the matter at all to my recollection. [Admittedly, Echo is the newest member and thus doesn’t have the years the other three do under his belt, but surely by now he’s formed some sort of opinion on the guy he’s done at least eleven missions with!])

It hurts regardless of how you feel or whose side you’re on because you know something about this isn’t right, whether it’s because you know they do care for one another but have to part ways, or because they both made decisions that you just didn’t want them to make. It sucks but things like this (and by “this”, I do mean something more along the lines of familial or even platonic conflict, not having your home blasted to kingdom come in a whole imperial plot your brother was somewhat tied to) are never cut and dry. If they were, things would be so much simpler. But if they weren’t, we wouldn’t have as many stories, painful as they are.

I’m not a big supporter at all of creators taking advice or story ideas and cues from their fans via Twitter and other social media. But what I do hope is that Filoni and crew do a bit of a stronger job at approaching these very emotionally-driven subjects next season, rather than just letting them fall to the wayside until it becomes convenient. Not saying that filler episodes or breathers are a bad thing, they just seemed to take up a lot of this season. Though who knows, maybe they’ll come back into play specifically because of what the Batch did. (You know, in this particular show. I already know some of these guys appeared in other SW shows . . .)

Overall, I think I’d rate this episode 6.5/10. Nothing crazy, but nothing terrible. I probably could’ve just waited until normal people hours to watch it instead of setting an alarm for 3am, but I’ve definitely spent my witching hours in worse ways. If anything, though, it left me melancholic. But, hey, there’s a season 2 on the way. I know the saying is that there are no happy endings in Star Wars but . . . hey, if people can believe in Crosshair, I’m allowed to believe in a happyish ending. I suppose, in a way, it’s kind of like a sunny, stormless day on Kamino: Never thought they existed, but they can eventually happen after much strife.

#i'm writing this at 4am can ya tell #the bad batch spoilers #bad batch spoilers #bad batch #the bad batch #I sure do have a lot of opinions on a clone who ain't even my favorite . . .#aw well #long post #i probably have other thoughts but i need to be cut off before i go on tangents #tbb spoilers

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1899-newsboy-strike · 4 years

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The Twins Pt 4 - Johnny Cade Imagine

The Twins Masterlist

A/N: Just a quick disclaimer, if you see this story on Wattpad under the title “Dallas Winston’s Twin Sister” it is not a copy or I’m not trying to copy it, it is my story from well over two years ago that I am just rewriting and actually finishing. Should I do recaps in the summary instead of the whole story’s summary every time? Let yuh boy know

Warnings: fighting, blood, knives, death, nightmare

Trigger warning: suicidal Johnny for a few sentences

Summary: The only things you and your brother cared about were each other, and your best friend Johnny. You cared about the rest of the gang, but Johnny was like the younger brother you both never had. You’d do whatever you had to in order to protect your friend, even when it means you were the one in danger.

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"Y/N what the hell?" Twobit screamed like a little girl making you slide off his back dying of laughter.

"You should have seen your face." You wheezed out leaning on him.

"Hey, why is your face red?" He asked touching your face, making you flinch when you felt pain shoot through your cheek where he put his hand.

"Oh, Tim hit me because I took the blame for Dallas slashing his tires. No big deal." You shrugged, wrapping my arm around Johnny's shoulder.

"Why would you do that?" Cherry asked, sounding shocked, making you laugh.

"He's my brother. I'd do anything for him, just like he'd do anything for me." You explained softly, looking out into the distance and you saw flashes of hands covered in blood and a body laying limp on the floor.

"Y/N?" You heard someone call your name and a hand on my shoulder making you jump. "You okay?" Twobit asked when you looked up at him since he was the one who put his hand on your shoulder.

You gave him a small nod before taking a shaky breath, you knew you shouldn’t have been thinking about that, trying to push it to the back of your head. Cherry and Ponyboy were talking about Darry and Sodapop but you didn't pay much attention until Ponyboy got mad at Johnny making Twobit hit him upside the head, and good thing Twobit got him, because you wouldn't have been so nice.

"I'm sorry I just got a little mad." Ponyboy apologized to Johnny.

"That's all right, don't worry about it." Johnny told him, making you sigh. You hated that Johnny just accepted the way people treated him, but you knew there wasn’t anything you could do.

"We couldn't get along without you." Twobit told Ponyboy while all of you started to walk again.

"Marcia." Cherry called over to you all, finally cluing you in on her friend’s name.

"What are we gonna do?" Marcia asked when a blue mustang pulled up behind you.

"Just act normal." Cherry said looking down.

"Who are these clowns?" You asked when two guys got out of the car.

"Cherry what's going on? What are you doing?" One of them stumbled over to us obviously drunk. "Just because we got a little drunk doesn't mean-" the guy started but Cherry cut him off.

"A little?! You call reeling and passing out on the streets a little?! Bob I've told you before I'm never going out with you and your drink again I mean it!" Cherry shouted at him.

"That's no reason to go walking the street with these bums." The other one chipped in while Bob took a drink from his flask.

"Who you calling bums pal?" Twobit asked walking up next to me.

“You!" The guy exclaimed, pulling Twobit’s sweater off of Marcia.

“Randy!" She whined, making you roll your eyes.

“Listen we got 2 more of us in the back seat." Randy told you, and you couldn’t help but scoff at him trying to scare you. Twobit turned to the gate breaking the bottle he had in his hand tossing it to you before he flipped open his switch.

"Pity the back seat." Twobit told Randy holding out his switch.

"If your looking for a fight-" Randy started and you cut him off.

"I am looking for a fight." You fired back and all of you started to argue.

"We'll go with you alright? Well go with you. Just give me a minute." Cherry exclaimed, getting you all to get quiet.

"Why? We ain't scared of these bastards." You told her, tightening your grip on the bottle as you looked at Bob when he got up, making you glare at him.

"I hate fights alright. I hate em." She said walking over to Ponyboy. Bob laughed sitting back on the car taking another drink from the flask. You looked over and saw Johnny looking away from you with his head down and you pulled him behind you.

"Cherry come on." Bob called Cherry after a while of you awkwardly standing there.

"I hope I never see Dallas Winston again. If I do I'll probably fall in love with him." You heard Cherry say when she got closer to you making you mentally gag.

"You okay?" You whispered to Johnny and he nodded.

"Come on baby." Bob said when Cherry walked over to the car.

"Don't touch me." She spat at him before she got in the car. Ponyboy walked back over to you and bent down to pick up the broken glass making you shake your head.

"Ponyboy, just leave it there." You told him but he continued to pick it up, completely ignoring you.

"Just watch it grease ball." Randy told you when he started driving away.

"Says who?" Twobit asked and you looked at Johnny who looked like he’d seen a ghost.

"Johnny, what's wrong?" You asked him, making him look over at you.

"Those guys, just reminded me of the ones from that night." He explained looking scared.

"Well if they are those guys you just tell me and I'll go make them pay for what they did to you." You told him, making him nod.

"Boy those two were the best looking girls I've ever seen." Twobit thought aloud while you all walked home.

"Yeah." Ponyboy replied sounding mesmerized.

"I think someone may be a little too smitten." You joked to Twobit making Ponyboy get mad at you. "Oh hush I'm joking." You said patting him on the back befor you winked at Twobit making you both laugh. Twobit stuck something in his mouth, chewing it up before spitting it out. "What was that?" You asked him while you watched it fly away.

"Marcia's number. Probably a phony one too. I must have been out of my mind to ask for it. Girl like that wouldn't go out with me anyway. Where y'all going?" He asked.

"Home." Ponyboy said. Johnny's Mom yelled as you passed by Johnny’s house making you sigh.

"I hate when my folks are fighting. Let's go to the lot." Johnny said, catching up to you. You all sat down and you finally took off your jacket giving it to Ponyboy.

"Wear it or I kill you." You explained since he was rubbing his arms.

"Fine." He grumbled before using it as a makeshift cover.

"It's because we're greasers Pone. Might have hurt her reputation or something that's all. Don't worry about it." Johnny told Ponyboy when you both laid next to Ponyboy with you in the middle.

"Yeah I guess so." He said, sounding upset.

"Man that was a tough car huh? Mustangs they're tough." Johnny thought out loud making you turn your head to him.

"Big time socs all right. It's always the same." Ponyboy sat up quickly getting mad throwing a twig.

You got comfortable, looking up at the sky staring, deep in thought. In the distance you could hear people arguing, and there was no doubt it was Johnny's parents. Johnny started breathing heavily next to you making you furrow your brows and sit up before you looked down at him with concern.

"I can't take much more of this you guys. I'll- I'll kill my self if something. I don't know." Johnny explained, starting to freak out putting his hands on his head. You wrapped your arms around him, trying to comfort him as Ponyboy came over to you.

"Now Johnny..." Ponyboy trailed, not having a clue what to say.

"Come on you can't kill yourself." You told Johnny while you rubbed his back.

"I gotta do something." Johnny explained, his voice shaky and Ponyboy joined in on the hug. You all laid back down and you still had your arm wrapped around Johnny trying to comfort him, resting your head on his shoulder. "It seems like there's gotta be someplace without greasers or socs. Must be someplace... with just plain ordinary people."Johnny choked out the last word making you pull him closer.

"It's like that out in the country. Away from all the big towns. Out in the country. I miss going there with my folks." Ponyboy muttered the last part and you started to feel your eyes flutter close as you fell asleep with your head on Johnny's shoulder and Ponyboy leaning on you.

************

"I'm going to kill you!" Nathan yelled in your face pulling out his knife, holding it up to your face.

"You're going to kill me for something I didn't do?" You asked him, fixating my eyes on the blade.

"You didn't do anything? So you call embarrassing me in front of all my friends not doing anything?" He growled.

"You were drunk and you were telling your friends all about Dallas and I and talking about how we had been to jail. You lied to them and started telling them all these things I've done which I haven't even done. I wasn't going to let you lie about what I've done with someone Nathan." You spat in his face.

"That didn't give you the right to hit any of my friends when they came near you." He told you, his breath fanning your face and you smelled alcohol.

“Are you seriously drunk again? Nathan they were trying to do things I didn't want to do! What was I supposed to do? Just sit there? I'm sorry but I'm not you. I'm not going to let people do whatever they want to me just so I can fit in with them!" You yelled in his face.

He finally lifted the blade, and you moved to get out of he way, but it lodged itself into your shoulder. Adrenaline kicked in as you pulled it out of your shoulder, looking at it shocked you looked up at Nathan, his eyes were filled with anger. He came toward you and your instincts took over and all you could see was red while you cut Nathan's cheek when he tried to grab you. He knocked the blade out of your hand when he slugged you in the face. You could hardly move as you reached your hand out, looking for the blade. Your hand wrapped around something metal and you swung it toward him, getting him in the gut. You repeatedly stabbed him until he fell off of you, lying motionless on the ground.

"No no no no no." You muttered to yourself trying to push down on his wounds while blood came out. You let out a scream tugging at your hair, scooting away from his body. Dallas ran into my room and stopped dead in his tracks. "Dallas. I killed him. I- I killed him. Oh they're gonna give me the chair. It wasn't my fault he- he came toward me I just-" You rambled, breaking down. Dallas ran over to you pulling you up into his arms while sobbed.

"It's gonna be okay. We'll take care of it. I'll help you don't worry." Dallas reassured you. He walked you over to the bathroom, handing you clothes and a towel. "Now wash off all the blood and I'll take care of this." He told you and you stayed silent.

You turned on the water, waiting for it to get warm while you stripped yourself of your bloody clothes. You watched while all the blood pooled at the bottom of the tub, making the water turn red. Your shoulder stung when the water hit the open wound, making you avoid it when you washed up. You used the soap to scrub your hands clean of the blood, starting to cry as you began scrubbing harder even after all the blood was gone.

You got out of the shower, drying off and put on the clothes Dallas gave you, seeing that your bloody clothes were gone. You figured Dallas must have taken them to the wash. You looked at yourself in the mirror and your eyes looked puffy. You saw your shoulder in the mirror, blood still coming out of the wound. You let out a sob, punching the mirror making it shatter to pieces, some lodging into your knuckles making Dallas swung the door open making you cry harder.

"Hey it's okay. Don't worry I already got Mike to take care of the body and I burned your clothes. I cleaned your floor. Come on." Dallas told you, trying to calm you down, sitting you down on the toilet as he pulled out the first aid kit. He first patched up your knuckles, getting disinfectant and put it on the wound on your shoulder. You bit your lip when it started to sting before Dallas put a bandage on it. "Was he drunk?" Dallas asked you and you just stared at the wall nodding. "Good that's what you can tell the cops if they end up finding out about this." Dallas asked, making you look at him.

"What do you mean? Why would they come here?" You asked, worry evident in your voice.

"Y/N. It'll be fine I'm telling you just in case." Dallas explained, making youu calm down. A few hours later the doorbell rang making your heart drop.

-------------------------------------

Tag List: Let me know if you would like to be tagged in this series

@the-aussie-fangirl @wnygirl2012 @mathletemadison

#the outsiders #the outsiders imagine #the outsiders x reader #x reader #imagine #x reader imagine #johnny cade #johnny #winston!reader #winston reader #dallas winston x reader sister #johnny imagine #johnny cade imagine #johnny x reader #johnny cade x reader #the twins series

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taetaesbaebaepsae · 5 years

Text

Bury My Love Part 5

A/N: This took me a week to write because Yoongi is such a fucking clown but I still love him and hate to hurt him, there will probably be like 7 to 10 parts but it’s wrapping up

Summary: Yoongi needs to talk to you, but it doesn’t go well.

Warnings: oh god, so much angst, it hurts so bad, a panic attack, mentions of depression, alcohol used as a coping mechanism EVERYTHING HURTS AND I’M DYING

Word Count: 1669

He puts off going back to the building for a full week before he can't put it off anymore, can't keep skipping meetings and working from home.

Even then, it takes him two hours to walk in, three tries of him stopping breathing before he reached the doors.

There you are, the second he walks in, bringing coffee for everyone at the meeting, and he doesn't look at you, can't look at you, but his peripheral vision betrays him with glances of your knee under your skirt and he remembers kissing the back of it and when he takes his coffee cup his hands are shaking.

"Good morning!" You say, brightly, and he doesn't know how to feel when you smile at him but mostly it's sick to his stomach.

Mostly he just feels wrong, out of place somehow in a building he'd been working in for years. He hates himself for being bitter that you're okay.

He didn't know what he expected, that you'd just be crying in bed for days? Over him? After how he'd treated you?

He knows he's staring like a kicked puppy but he can't tear his eyes away.

"Have a good day, Yoongi," you say, still smiling, and his name on your lips sounds so wrong, you didn't say it like that.

You breathed it, almost, or said it soft and sing-song under your breath. You didn't say it like that. You leave the room while he's still reeling and it's Namjoon who tugs his elbow to encourage him to sit.

"Are you okay?" Namjoon asks, and Yoongi sees it in his eyes, how he fucking knows, how obvious he's been, the danger he'd put you in and he's never hated himself more.

"Fine," he mutters, and jerks his elbow out of Namjoon's grasp.

Namjoon quirks an eyebrow but he doesn't speak.

Yoongi hears nothing during the meeting, knows that Namjoon will take extensive notes while Yoongi is just doodling your name over and over on his notepad.

He tells himself he won't look for you after, tells himself he'll just go home and open yet another bottle of liquor but he ends up skulking around the break room, knowing you were often there.

It's stupid. It's so fucking stupid, but he tells himself just one more glimpse of your face will work, he needs to know you're happier, needs to know you're happy and not like him, not at home drinking and crying and hating yourself.

When he sees you, finally, his breath catches in his throat because you're laughing, and you look so beautiful and free and he should feel good about it, like he's done the right thing, but all he feels is panic, panic coursing through him.

Did you never love him? He hates himself for even thinking that but you just seem so... unbothered.

Unbothered while he thinks of your face every morning when he opens his eyes, is skipping meetings and ignoring texts from his brothers because they always ask the same thing, is he okay, and he's not, he's fucking not.

Then through the crack in the door he sees an arm reach out to slip around your waist, and the side of a man's face and it's an awful deja vu to the night he'd confessed.

Yoongi wants to look away, mind screaming at himself to look away because he knows what thoughts follow, thoughts about if you'd been seeing that guy this whole time, if you'd been lying to him when you said he was the only one.

In the end, he can't watch and he can't look away so he lets his body take over, strides into the room and puts a hand on your forearm.

You turn to him, surprised.

"Yoongi? Is there something you need?"

Your voice isn't cold or angry but it's still wrong, still not how you speak to him, it sounds like you're speaking to a stranger.

"Need to talk to you," he mumbles, his heart racing, and you frown but you follow him to a secluded hallway.

He doesn't even know what to say once he's got you alone, he's worked up and can't think straight, can't think of what he's not supposed to say so he ends up just blurting out, "Don't you care at all?"

Your face stays passive for a moment but you curl your hands into fists and he's almost relieved that you feel something, even if it's anger.

"I'm not doing this," you say, low and soft. "You have a good afternoon. I have plans after work and can't be late."

You turn to go and the panic takes over.

"Plans? With that guy?" He's raising his voice. He never raises his voice.

You turn back to face him, jaw clenched.

"My plans, my life is none of your fucking business, Min Yoongi. Not anymore."

His face feels hot, like his skin is on fire, like something's crawling in his chest, trying to get out.

"Wait. Just wait. I just need you to....I need you to talk to me. Just for a few minutes."

You take in a breath and lean a shoulder against the wall.

"Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

His mind is racing and he feels antsy, wants to take your hand, wants to hold you but he feels rooted in place. He wants to say: I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't do anything but regret what I said to you.

What he does say is stupid, jealous, petty, and he hates himself the second it comes out of his mouth.

"How long have you been seeing him?"

You stand up straight, mouth dropping open.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Did you ever love me? Was this a game to you?"

"What are you talking about? You left me. You dumped me."

"But....but you.... you're fine." He huffs out a breath, he isn't making sense, but he can't stop. "I'm.... I'm losing my mind and you're.... you're fine."

You're breathing hard, he can see your cheeks flushing, and he just wants to go back, wants to rewind to that day he said those things to you, wants to go back to you coming to bring him dinner, and tears are threatening at the backs of his eyes.

"Nothing about this is fine, Yoongi. You told me you loved me and then dropped me, made me feel like I was nothing and what do you want me to do now, huh? You expect me to just wait around, be celibate, waiting around on you to change your mind?"

Yoongi is trying to listen to you, he really is but one word just sticks in his brain like a fish hook.

"What do you mean, celibate? Are you....are you fucking this guy?"

Your eyes are flashing, you're angry and he expected that. He didn't even know what he thought would come of this but he doesn't expect what you say next.

"Maybe I am. What's it to you?"

"Y/n...." Your name comes out of his mouth in a whisper because it feels like there's an elephant sitting on his chest.

"I don't know why I'm even talking to you. You told me to fuck off so just leave me alone."

He can’t say anything else because his throat has turned into a pinhole and he just watches you depart back into the breakroom, and a few moments later he’s still standing there, one shoulder slumped against the wall, watching you leave the building arm in arm with that fucking idiot.

Yoongi has often wondered, over the past week, how it was possible to hurt this much mentally and emotionally and not have it take a physical toll, and he guessed this was where it started to, because suddenly he can’t breathe. He can't breathe. He can't breathe and he feels like he’s watching from outside his body when he slumps down onto the floor.

It’s Namjoon who finds him, thank God for Namjoon, because if it had been one of the younger boys they wouldn’t have known what to do or how to help.

Namjoon bear hugs him from behind, murmuring in his ear. “Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth. You can do this. You’re okay. I’ve got you,” and for a minute Yoongi thinks it won’t work, thinks he’ll never find his air again, but finally he’s gasping in oxygen and he doesn’t know he’s crying until Namjoon gets him to his studio and sits him down, wiping his face with a cloth.

Yoongi gulps the water Namjoon gives him gratefully and Namjoon sits across from him, giving him his most serious face.

“Yoongi, you can’t keep doing this.”

Yoongi snorts out a laugh, because it’s funny, Namjoon thinking he wants to do this, that he wants to break your heart and his own and feel like there’s something clawing inside his brain and his chest all the time.

“What happened?” Namjoon asks quietly, and Yoongi shakes his head.

“Nothing. Nothing. I just got inside my own head too much. It happens. I just need to work.”

It takes ten minutes to convince Namjoon to leave and another forty five of Yoongi staring at his computer before he slips open the bottom drawer of his desk and takes out the Scotch his father had gotten him for his last win.

Yoongi wonders how much it will take before he stops imagining what positions you might be in, if he was fucking you from behind, tugging your hair just the right way, or maybe on your back, murmuring sweet nothings into your ear and kissing the base of your throat, before he stops hating himself and wondering if he should call you.

He wakes up hours later on a couch somewhere, with Jungkook’s tear streaked face looking down at him, and he’s still wondering, but this time about how many people he’ll hurt and how many bodies he’ll leave in his wake.

#min yoongi #yoongi imagine #min yoongi x reader #yoongi x reader #suga x reader #suga imagine

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queenofmoons · 5 years

Text

Carry On-- AO3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20333851

"This is the dumbest shit we've ever done, you know that, right?" Harley slammed the car door hard enough that the vehicle shuddered. "Like. The dumbest."

"Yeah," Peter said. "I got that." He hiked his duffle bag up on his shoulder. They both stared at the house. It didn't look haunted. Then again, they never did. After all, how would you know about a haunting if there was no one around to report it, or get hurt, or die. It was the ghosts in the abandoned asylums that tended to mind their own business.

"We could call in backup," Harley suggested. "Call Tony."

"He's got enough on his mind right now," Peter said. By that he meant: Tony had been nearly out of the game for the past five years. Besides helping with the occasional ghoul, Tony had become something of a stay at home dad. The thought of Morgan made Peter’s lips twitch into a smile.

"And us dying is gonna alleviate any of that?"

"Will you stop that? We're not gonna die."

Then again, the stories weren't very promising. For the past three years, no one who walked into this house ever made it out. Real estate agents, buyers, kids who tried to spend the night on a dare. Peter swallowed. They weren't going to die. Right?

"Look," Peter said, "We're gonna go in there, figure out what’s haunting the place, and take 'em out. We've done it a million times."

Even he wasn't feeling too positive about this one. They'd all taken a break from this after Morgan had been born. Since then, they'd handled a few smaller cases, helped Nebula out a few times, but this was their first big case since the pregnancy had been announced. It was more daunting than Peter had expected. They'd been doing this for most of their lives, but for the first time he was actually scared of not coming home.

Morgan's making you sentimental he could hear Rhodey in his ear. And maybe that was true. But that's why he was doing this: the less things there were that went bump in the night, the less chance she'd ever have to encounter one. She'd be joining the family business over the rest of their dead bodies.

Which wasn’t really out of the question, was it?

“We shouldn’t stay out here,” Harley said. “The neighbors are probably about to call the cops on us.”

“We’re prospective buyers,” Peter answered.

He studied the brick home. It was a simple two-story home. Entirely modern. Even the roof looked new. But Harley was right-- it was a quiet street in suburbia, and the neighbors were already wary of the goings ons in this house. Standing outside would only bring attention to themselves, and with the sheer length of their combined criminal records… well, that was just asking for trouble.

As they watched, the house stopped being still. The blinds parted in one of the windows. The front door opened.

"I think," Harley said, "That's our cue."

Peter took a deep breath. "Let's do this."

There were no bodies anywhere.

They'd checked the downstairs. They'd checked the crawlspace and the attic. They'd checked all six of the rooms upstairs. There wasn't a sign of a struggle, let alone a sign of over seventy missing persons.

"People don't just go missing," Harley said again.

"Yeah dude, I know. Maybe something's eating them."

Harley scoffed, as if Peter had suggested something ridiculous. They'd been in the house for nearly an hour, and besides the blinds and the door, they hadn't found evidence of anything out of the ordinary. No cold spots, no EMF, no scent of sulfur. They were running out of options here.

"Or maybe," Harley supplied helpfully, "it's nothing."

Peter made a face. "People don't just go missing," he mocked.

"Maybe something's eating them," Harley said.

"I don't sound like that."

"Yeah you do."

"No, my voice isn't that high pitched it's more like..." He dropped his voice an octave, "maybe something's eating them."

"Now you're just compensating for how squeaky your voice is."

"My voice isn't squeaky!"

"Dude, I think you might still be going through puberty."

"I'm going to kill you and tell everyone that this monster ate you."

Down the hall, someone screamed. They looked at each other, surprised, then rushed out of the study they had crammed themselves in.

Peter scanned the hallway. All of the four other doors were closed. Harley started down the left side of the hall. Peter stayed to the right.

The bathroom was empty: all pristine porcelain and decorative soaps and the bathmat looked like it had just been washed and laid down for the first time. Before leaving, Peter ripped the towel rack out of the wall. It felt heavy. He hoped it was iron. As he stepped out of the room he slammed his head into the doorframe. It sent him reeling back into the sink with a few choice words. It hurt badly enough that, for a few moments, his vision went black, but then he blinked and he was fine. He cursed his terrible depth perception.

The next room looked like a home office. A desk sat in the corner. The closet doors were wide open. Empty. Peter turned to call to Harley only to come face to face with a ghost.

It was decayed, jaw open and wide, eyes hollow and sunken. Flesh hung from its neck. Its hair was thinning and revealed a dented scalp. The temperature around him dropped, and the hair on the back of Peter’s neck stood straight up.

"Get out!" The ghost croaked. It reached forward. Peter pulled the towel rack up in an arc through its transparent body. It disappeared like dust, fading back into the shadows of the room.

Peter heaved a breath. His pulse sputtered.

"Pete?" His gaze shot to the doorway Harley's voice was coming from.

"Just a ghost. I'm fine." Peter slung the towel rod over his shoulder and poked his head into the room he'd heard Harley in.

The room was empty. There was a bed covered with stuffed animals, a few portraits of clowns on the walls. The window was open, just a crack, and a breeze swept through. There was no sign of Harley.

"Harley?" he called, his face scrunched. There was nowhere else he could be. The door to the rooms Peter had searched were all wide open.

"Peter!" It was Harley's voice again, loud and urgent. It was coming from... the bathroom? Peter followed it, towel rod at the ready.

"Harley, what the fuck. Where are you?" he asked, when he only came face to face with a rusty sink and corroded tiles. The towel hanging on the rack was molded. Peter blinked.

There was another scream. Peter didn't have time to unpack all that.

He followed the sound downstairs. Beneath him, the steps groaned.

"Harley?!"

A noise behind him. Peter whipped around and brought his weapon down on the figure behind him. Instead of racing through it, the weapon stuck in the ghost’s head. It’s mouth opened in a disgusting grin. It rushed at him, through him, and when Peter turned his head to follow it, it was gone.

He pulled his machete out of the wall. It came out with an avalanche of drywall that left his pants grey.

He did a double take, tested the weight of the weapon in his hand.

What was going on?

Something thudded. It was coming from downstairs. This runaround was exhausting.

It wasn’t until Peter was halfway down the staircase that he realized this wasn’t a three story house-- at least, it hadn’t been when they’d arrived. Now, he was staring at a foyer he didn’t recognize.

He was starting to think he wasn’t dealing with just a ghost, but he wasn’t sure what it could be.

Loki, maybe, but this case seemed too small for him, and it also seemed far too violent. It wasn’t unlike him to cause destruction for his own, self-serving purposes, but haunting a house…? It seemed unlikely.

Then again, this wouldn’t be the first time he did something with the sole purpose of fucking with them.

Peter made his way through a living room, a kitchen, and a dining room, each in different states of disarray. The living room looked impeccable, but the kitchen was covered with bugs and rot. The dining room looked like a tornado had swept through. A large picture hung crooked on the wall. The glass was cracked and covered with dust, but the picture in the frame was still visible.

Peter’s blood ran cold. He stared at the photo of Tony and Morgan. It was them leaning over a coloring book, a crayon in each of their hands. In the background Pepper was at the sink. She was laughing at something Rhodey had said just out of frame.

This was from the other morning.

Not a picture, a memory.

The broken plates on the ground were, unmistakably, the same kind they had at the lake house. The table was busted, but it was theirs. Dread was starting to rise in Peter’s chest.

His suspicions of Loki seemed even less likely.

Behind him, something moved.

Peter whirled around.

The ghost was staring at him from the doorway.

“Who are you?” Peter asked. “What is this?”

He hadn’t been expecting an answer and he didn’t get one. The ghost smiled again, and Peter could see maggots wriggling around where its tongue should be. Bile rose in Peter’s throat. The ghost raised its hand, crooked a finger, and disappeared down the hallway.

“Oh, Jesus,” Peter muttered. Reluctantly, he followed it. He kept his machete up, ready. His uneasiness was starting to grow into fear.

The hallway was longer than Peter remembered it being. The walls were lined with family portraits. Peter’s eyes settled on a picture of Tony asleep in a recliner. A book was open on his chest, someone had drawn a frowny-face on his cheek. Peter blinked. The picture was of Tony, burnt, leaning against rubble. He had a distant stare, and, somehow, Peter knew he was dead.

Somewhere in the house, a door slammed shut.

As they passed empty rooms, Peter could hear bits of conversations. They sounded familiar, but he couldn’t quite place them.

“Who taught you how to shoot that thing?”

“You did, Mr. Stark.”

“I did a shit job, then. Fix your stance.”

He could have sworn he heard May’s voice, too, distant, like he was underwater.

“Peter honey, we have to leave now.”

“Where’s Uncle Ben? We need to get him, too.”

“I said we need to leave now!”

“Where are you taking me?” Peter asked. The ghost didn’t speak. It raised a crooked finger and pointed at a door. Peter looked at it until the photograph behind it turned into one of May and Ben grinning.

He could feel that something was wrong-- off-- like when you dream you’re getting ready. That didn’t make him feel any better. In his line of work, there were a lot of reasons something could feel wrong.

Not many of them were good.

He swallowed, and opened the door.

The sight nearly made him sick to his stomach. It was the missing people, all of them. They were lined up in chairs, their necks limp like ragdolls, their fingernails black. Seventy of them, crammed into a room the size of a classroom. There was no blood, only decay, and that almost made it worse.

Peter gagged.

A hand landed on his shoulder. A knee-jerk reaction: he swung his machete before turning around.

Peter didn’t realize his mistake until it was too late. For a moment, Harley didn’t seem to, either. He only stared at Peter wide-eyed until his knees gave out and he scrambled at Peter’s shoulder for support. Peter dropped the weapon.

“Shit,” Peter said, reaching out and grabbing his elbow to steady him. “Shit, I’m so sorry.”

Harley’s free hand clutched at his stomach. Peter helped him down to the ground with trembling hands. He pulled his jacket off and pressed it to Harley’s stomach. Immediately the stain started to spread. Harley’s hand fell from Peter’s shoulder to the cement flooring. It was dusty, and cold, and the last place Peter would want to die.

“Hey, keep your eyes open. You’re fine.” His voice was shaking. “You’re fine. You’re fine.” All of the first aid he had learned had escaped him. His phone was somewhere upstairs, if we went up to go get it, Harley would surely die before he could make it back to him.

If you ever make it back to him a voice in the back of his head taunted.

When Harley stopped breathing it wasn’t like the movies: Harley didn’t have any dramatic last words, he just died and left the room quieter than it had been moments before.

Peter’s breath was stuck in his throat. His face was turning red, his head was throbbing. He’d killed Harley. His chest felt tight, like someone was stepping on it.

“Peter,” someone behind him said his name.

When he turned there was no one but the corpses. His stomach churned. He felt hungover-- no, still drunk. Dizzy.

“Peter,” said the air.

His jacket became cold and heavy with blood. He didn’t lift it from Harley’s abdomen. He could feel the tears. They were sharp and stinging on his cheeks. He could see his own breath in the air.

“Pete, wake up.”

One of the victims had a tattoo on her forearm. Peter looked at it with a blank expression. It was a bright blue handprint.

Peter panted. It was getting hot in this room, but Harley was so cold. He tried to remember why the handprint looked so familiar. He tried to focus on the fact that he’d just killed Harley.

He’d just killed Harley.

There were footsteps upstairs. They were right above him. Peter wasn’t sure he was breathing anymore. He looked down at Harley’s face. His eyes were wide open and he stared at the ceiling, at nothing. Peter couldn’t stop thinking about the handprint.

“Peter,” the voice was more urgent now. It was also more coherent.

The handprint.

The calm rushed over him so suddenly that it nearly knocked him over. “This isn’t real,” he said out loud. Relief. When he exhaled, The bodies disappeared. The footsteps stopped. He could breathe again, actually breathe. The world around him fell away.

His eyes shot open.

Harley knelt in front of him, splattered with blood-- breathing. Okay. Peter gripped his wrist.

His head still ached.

“Hey,” Harley warned him. “Calm down, you’re okay.”

“Djinn,” Peter gasped. “It’s a Djinn.”

Harley snorted, but he couldn’t hide the relief that plagued his face. “What do you think I was doing while you took a nap?”

Peter closed his eyes. His hand was still firm around Harley’s wrist. It grounded him. He wasn’t alone. Harley was with him.

The knowledge that it had all been a dream only made him feel a little bit better. The knowledge that his insides had been close to being turned into jam made him feel about the same as he already did.

“Why couldn’t it have been one of the nice ones?” He asked. He thought about the Djinns that made it feel like your wildest dreams are coming true as they feasted on your blood. At least when they forced you to slip off it was peaceful.

Instead, he got one of the shitty ones that likes to turn your organs to mush.

Harley offered Peter a pity laugh. “How’s your head?”

“Too hard to be damaged.” Peter’s lips didn’t twitch as he told the joke.

“That’s what I like to hear.”

“How about you?” Peter still didn’t let go of Harley’s wrist. “You okay?”

“I’m fine, Pete. Don’t worry about me.” It should have made Peter feel better. It didn’t.

Trying to get Harley into the house without Morgan seeing him was like trying to make their way through a labyrinth.

She’d been waiting for them to return, and after trying three different entrances they’d been forced to split up.

“I’ll go in the back,” Peter said, handing his jacket off to Harley to cover up most of the mess, “You go in the front and head upstairs.”

Peter thought about the blood all over the front of Harley’s shirt and his face. They hadn’t had any blood of lamb, so he’d been forced to take the Djinn out the messy way: bashing its brains in. It was dirty, and smelly, and Peter made him wipe his feet on the grass before getting into the car.

“You know what’s weird?” Harley said on the way home. “He kinda looked like Jake Gyllenhaal.”

“What?” Peter glanced over at the driver’s seat.

“The Djinn. He looked a lot like Jake Gyllenhaal.”

A black eye could be explained to a four year old: a blood splattered self could not.

Morgan, however, was only momentarily distracted by Peter:

“What happened to your face?” She asked him, pointing at his swollen and blackened eye. He managed a crooked smile.

“I got into a fight.”

She regarded him for a moment. Then, “Did you win?”

Peter scoffed, surprised. Happy choked on his coffee.

“Yeah,” he said. “Of course I won.”

“Where’s Harley?”

“He’s taking a bath,” Peter said.

“He isn’t going to come say hi?”

“He will when he’s done. He’s really dirty.”

“Why?” She followed him into the kitchen.

“He fell in the mud.” Peter rummaged in the fridge.

“How?”

“He’s clumsy.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. He was born like that.” He took a bite of chicken leg and grabbed the container of watermelon.

“Why?”

“Poor genetics. You want cake?”

“I’ll wait for Harley to have some with me.”

“Ouch.”

It seemed that Peter wasn’t the favorite today.

"You're drinking late," Tony said. Peter looked up from where his hand was wrapped around the neck of the beer bottle. "Rough day?"

Peter cleared his throat. "Just thinking." Tony pulled the chair out across from him and sat down.

"I thought we agreed you wouldn't do that anymore?"

Peter didn't laugh or respond. His eye was throbbing. His rib felt like it was being stabbed. He wondered, not for the first time, how he put up with this? Tony was still watching him, and Peter knew he was supposed to answer.

"It's just..." He cleared his throat again. "I saw a lot of stuff today I'd rather not see again. I think this might be it."

"Wow," Tony said. He sniffed. "That bad, huh?" Peter closed his eyes. He could still see Harley, dead, splayed out in the middle of the room surrounded by bodies. He could feel the blood on his hands. Worse, he could feel the weight of the machete as he swung it. It hadn't been real. That time. But how long until it was? It wasn't a secret that this job would, more likely than not, kill them one day.

"Yeah, well. We got our asses kicked today."

Tony glanced over at where Harley was curled up on the couch with Morgan. He was reading to her in hushed tones. "He's not going to stop," Tony said.

"I'm not asking him to," Peter assured. He took another sip of his drink. Peter still wasn’t sure how Harley ended up here-- it had never felt right to ask. I saved Tony’s ass is the most information he’d ever offered up willingly.

He knew that Tony’s involvement had started as more of an abstract fear. How do you just turn the other cheek when you find out that all of your childhood fears are real? So he prepped, and fought, and prepped some more, and he found Harley, then Peter, and taught them how to protect themselves from the horrors they’d been exposed to.

Tony kept them alive and sane.

Peter watched him. "When you took us in is this how you expected everything to end up?"

Tony shook his head. "This is better than the best case scenario." Peter followed his gaze back to Morgan and Harley. After the day they’d had, the scene was too domestic, too normal.

It was a hard job to leave at the door. Out of them all, Harley was the best at it. He always had been, even when they were kids. When the hunt was over, it was over. The amount of nights they’d spent with Tony and Peter like zombies and Harley talking their ear off about anything else…

It was exactly why Harley would never quit. Unlike Tony and Peter, he wasn’t driven by fear or a sense of responsibility-- he hunted because it was what he knew, it was what he was good at.

Morgan's scream is what woke Peter in the middle of the night. The covers were flung onto the floor before he was even awake. He grabbed his gun on his way out the door.

He met Harley in the hallway. They burst into the room, and turned the light on.

Morgan was sitting upright in bed, her eyes wide and red.

"What's wrong?" Peter demanded. His eyes swept the room.

"I- I had a bad dream," Morgan sniffled. "There was something in the closet."

Peter and Harley exchanged a glance. Harley headed toward the closet. Peter left his gun at the door and perched on the edge of Morgan's bed. "What happened in your dream?" he asked as Harley sifted through the clothes and toys strewn about Morgan's closet. Peter could hear the faint beep of the EMF reader.

"It- it came out." Morgan hiccuped. "And it stared at me, and it reached out and it... it... it pointed at me, and it was walking toward me and I-I woke up." She was trembling.

"All clear," Harley said from the closet. He looked at Morgan, and most of the panic had drained from his face. "It was just a dream."

Peter let his shoulders relax. He put a hand on the top of Morgan’s head.

“See?” He said, “nothing.” But he wasn’t sure if he was reassuring her or himself. “The monsters are too scared of Harley and I to come bother you.” The grin he was forcing hurt his cheeks. This had been his biggest fear for the past four years. “Let’s get you back to bed, okay?”

He flipped her sheets over her head, and relaxed a little more when her scared hiccups turned into soft giggles.

“Why?” Morgan asked.

“Because it’s four in the morning,” Harley said. “And some of us have jobs to go to in the morning.”

“That some of us isn’t you,” Peter said under his breath. Morgan laughed again.

“No,” she said. “Why are monsters afraid of you?” She wriggled her head free from under the sheet. Her hair was messed up. She was looking at them with curious eyes.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Peter asked. He motioned between him and Harley.

“No,” Morgan said. Harley snorted. Peter’s face fell.

“Well,” Peter said, indignant, “then I don’t think I can tell you.”

“You can!”

“Nope. It’s a really big secret, and I can’t risk you telling anyone.”

“Peter!”

“Morgan!”

She held out a pinky. “I won’t tell anyone,” she said.

“Not even your dolls?” Harley asked.

“Or your friends?” Peter chimed in.

“Or Happy?”

“No one!” She said. Peter and Harley exchanged a glance. Harley nodded, grim. Peter took her pinky in his. He leaned forward and whispered something in her ear. “Really?” She asked, her face was bright with wonder. He nodded.

“But remember,” he said. “You can’t tell anyone.”

”I won’t,” She promised.

“Good,” Peter said. “There’s one more thing.”

“What?”

“You need to go to sleep.” Peter turned the bedroom light off, retrieved his gun. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight. Goodnight, Harley.”

“Night, Morgan.” He backed out the door. “What did you tell her?” Harley asked when the door was shut firmly behind them.

Peter grinned. “Just that you and I hunt monsters,” he said.

Harley slapped him on the back. “See you in the morning, Pete.”

“Yeah, goodnight.” Peter watched him walk back to his own room, his own exhaustion returning.

When he finally slept again, he dreamed about Ben and the demon that killed him. He dreamed about when Tony found him, a scared child, trying to summon Crowley into a Devil's Trap. He was fourteen again, scared and clutching a spray bottle of holy water when a shitty, old car pulled up beside him. The man driving scolded him, used some words that were typically saved for an older audience.

When Peter slid into the backseat for the first time Harley handed him a machete with a wry grin.

"You ever killed a vampire before?" Harley asked. Peter swallowed and shook his head. "Aim for the head." Peter watched the back of his head as he turned back toward the windshield. He propped his legs up on the dashboard. Tony smacked them down.

“You’ll break your legs,” he warned him.

“Only if you crash into something.”

And the love Peter felt between them was something familiar and warm.

The first time he ever saw Hellhounds in action was the most grateful he had ever felt:

“And that,” Tony had said to them as he pointed at the shredded remains of the victim, “is why you don’t make deals with demons.”

Peter woke up and thought about the first time he had held Morgan. How no one had ever discussed whether or not they would tell her about hunting, but no one did anyway. She was their second chance. She could be spared of all this.

"I called MJ,” Peter said to the silence of the breakfast table. It was just him and Tony. Rhodey and Harley were out working a case, Pepper was running errands with Morgan, and Happy was off doing… whatever it was Happy did when no one was around. “I'm meeting her for a case out in Iowa."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't sound like being done."

"We're gonna see how it goes." Peter sipped at his orange juice. "We might call it after that. She has a place out there."

Tony nodded. He put a hand on Peter's shoulder. He said, "keep in touch," the same way one might say, "I'll miss you."

#spider-man #Tony Stark #Iron Family #iron family fluff #iron family angst #iron family fluff and angst #iron family fanfiction #harley Keener #Peter Parker & Harley Keener #Morgan Stark #Spider-Man fanfiction #Spider-Man AU #mcu #iron fam #irondad #ao3 #supernatural au #supernatural

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danzilla · 5 years

Text

Cokie The Clown : You’re Welcome

This is something different, If you are going into listening this expecting a Nofx album you might want to think again. You’re welcome is a strangely haunting and vaguely disturbing collection of true tales turned into a collection of songs that will make you think. When I first hit play in my car on the way to work I expected something like a slower Nofx album, not the deeply disquieting song that is Bathtub. The opening track starts out with over a minute of Fat Mikes raspy voice telling a tale of waking to find his wife drowning in a bathtub. This sets the tone for the entire record.

considering the deep dark nature of this record with songs like “Bathtub” and “That Time I Killed My Mom” this entire album is in my honest opinion a breath of fresh air in a world of punk rock solo records. There has been a long standing tradition of old punk guys putting out solo records that basically sound like their bands songs but slower and with an acoustic guitar and maybe a mandolin. (with all due respect but I’m looking at you Chuck Ragan and Dave Haus) You’re welcome is a total departure from that mind set. the only song on here that sounds like it would have been a Nofx song is “Punk Rock Saved My Life”. Even “Down With the Ship” which is a rearranged Nofx song sounds so drastically different that you would never expect that to come from the same band that sang “Moron Brothers”. I applaud Fat Mike for writing a record that is honest and is step outside of the normal musical world he lives in. My first thought when I started this record is this sounds like a Gogol Bordello record but slower, acoustic and with less instruments.

All in all I really dig this record and I think if you are a fan of what Fat Mike and the boys in Nofx are doing you should definitely give it a listen. It might not make you wanna mosh and skate like Pump Up the vallum but its sure as shit gonna make you feel something.

“I peeled my fuckin’ skin off for this record.” - Michael (Fat Mike) Burkett

Tracklist: 01. Bathtub 02. Fair Leather Friends 03. The Queen Is Dead 04. Swing And A Miss 05. Down With The Ship 06. Negative Reel 07. That Time I Killed My Mom 08. Fuck You All 09. Pre Arraigned Marriage 10. Punk Rock Saved My Life

youtube

#cokie the clown #punk rock #nofx #Fat Mike #mike burkett #albume review #fat wreck chords #album review #punk #music #records #record #record reviews

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waitineedaname · 5 years

Text

sofa smooches

me @ myself: pleas work on your other wips I’m begging you

my hell brain: hhhhhh soft davekat kisses

also on ao3

Like most days on the meteor, Dave and Karkat were spending the evening on the couch in the TV room. The shitty rom-com Karkat had picked out had long since ended; they’d watched all the way through the credits, like they always did, no matter how many times Dave told him there wasn’t going to be anything new at the end, like watching it for the seventeenth time would somehow unlock a secret ending where those background characters do end up together and go on their own cliched adventure. But. Karkat was stubborn and insistent, as always.

It was kinda cute.

It was not the first time that thought had occurred to Dave, but it had yet to be less startling.

Dave put his phone down, having beat Peggle for the twentieth time, and looked up at Karkat from where he was draped across his lap. He’d laid himself there about a third of the way through the movie, and Karkat hadn’t complained. In fact, neither of them seemed to want to be the one to disturb the little cuddle sesh, and they’d silently agreed to occupy themselves with whatever wouldn’t disturb the other. Hence, Dave’s Peggle endeavors and Karkat’s shitty romance novel. He was holding it with one hand, propping it up on Dave’s legs, because his other hand was resting on top of Dave’s free hand, only lifting away to turn a page every now and then, always returning to gently curl around Dave’s hand. Sometimes he’d absentmindedly rub his thumb along Dave’s knuckles, drawing circles and tracing the scars and freckles that littered his skin, and it. It was nice.

Dave wasn’t sure if he was in the right headspace to think about how touchstarved they both were, or how just those little comforting brushes of affection seemed to comfort an ache in his soul he’d never really paid attention to, or how Karkat’s touches when they cuddled like this were so much more gentle than he ever expected from someone who yelled himself hoarse and threatened bodily harm on the daily.

Dave didn’t think about any of that. He just thought about how nice it was to have his hand held, and how the perpetual pinch in Karkat’s brow was softer from this angle, and how he really wanted to kiss him.

Huh. That was a thought.

“Hey.”

Karkat ignored him.

“Hey.” Dave snapped his fingers in front of his face to get his attention.

Karkat smacked his hand away and turned the page.

“Hey.” Dave reached back up and flicked Karkat’s nose. Karkat, predictably, overreacted and reeled back, his whole face scrunching up.

“Ow! Fucker!” He yelled, covering his nose.

“Oh, come on. That did not hurt.”

“Fuck you! Maybe it did! You don’t know, maybe trolls have especially weak noses! For all you know, that could’ve been a built in insta-kill button! You could’ve killed me, Dave, and then how the fuck would you feel?”

“Pretty shitty, but then I’d let your ghost punch me in the face in the next dream bubble we fly through, so we’d be even.”

“What the fuck ever, you wish I’d punch your stupid face.” Karkat rolled his eyes, but he closed his book so Dave counted that as a win for Strider. “What was so important that you had to almost kill me anyway?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“What?”

“Can I kiss you?” Karkat blinked down at him blankly and well shit, that’s all Dave needed to take off on the rambling train, next stop: off the rails and straight into embarrassment territory. “Forget it, I could totally be misreading this whole cuddle thing, for all I know this might be a normal thing in troll culture, just snuggling between bros, like I could maybe expect it with your whole moirail thing except I’m pretty sure we’re not moirails? I’d probably know if that was what was happening-”

“Yeah, you can kiss me.”

“-especially since I don’t think either of us are like keeping the other from succumbing to homicidal tendencies or whatever because you can do whatever the fuck you want and I’m just chilling-” Dave paused mid-tangent, suddenly processing what Karkat had just said. “Wait. What’d you say?”

“I said you could kiss me, dumbass.”

“Oh. Cool. Great.” Dave found himself frozen for a second, realizing all that meant, and he slowly sat up, sliding off Karkat’s lap and turning to face him. This close, he could see Karkat swallow thickly, and he realized this was just as big of a deal for Karkat as it was for him.

Okay. He could do this.

Dave put his hand on Karkat’s cheek because that seemed like the right thing to do, and before he could second guess himself again, he leaned in and pressed his lips to Karkat’s.

It was really nice. It was clear they both didn’t really know what they were doing - they’d spent most of puberty on a meteor with the same tiny group of people, of course they were inexperienced - but it was still nice. The feeling of Karkat’s weirdly warm lips against his, the feeling of sharp teeth pressed up just behind them when they parted the slightest bit.

It didn’t last very long. Probably just a few seconds, but it felt like forever. Dammit, he was a god of time or whatever, he should probably have a better grasp of its passage, but Karkat seemed to knock out what little sense he had in the first place.

To be perfectly fair, Karkat seemed just as dazed as he did. When Dave finally pulled away, he curled his fingers into Dave’s sleeve to keep him from going too far and hey, when’d his hand end up on his upper arm? Not like Dave was complaining.

They both stared at each other for a second, two annoyingly talkative people on most days suddenly stunned silent.

“Thanks.” Dave finally said, and Karkat snorted, the moment broken.

“Thanks? Do you thank everyone you kiss, just to make up for having to deal with your stink breath?” There wasn’t any bite to the insult since they were definitely still close enough for Karkat to be smelling his supposedly stinky breath, and he didn’t seem to plan on moving away any time soon.

“Yep. Just a courtesy. You know how goddamn polite I am, got etiquette seeping out my damn pores. Gonna get pimples that’re sayin’ please and thank you with how clogged my pores are with all these manners.” He leaned in and bonked their foreheads together gently. Karkat looked like he was having a very hard time not snickering.

“Right. Maybe it’s your human etiquette that’s stinking the place up since you’re apparently drenched in it.”

“Oh, yeah. Good manners are notoriously noxious. They have to wear gas masks in Canada because of the permanent politeness stink.”

“You should know by now I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.” Karkat let go of his arm to tuck a piece of blond hair behind Dave’s ear and the gesture was so soft that Dave’s heart almost stopped. He definitely didn’t lean into the touch a little bit. Nope. Not at all. Shut up and mind your business.

“So. My lips as impudent as you thought?” Dave said to distract himself from how fluttery he was feeling. Karkat gave him a blank look, then grimaced as he suddenly remembered.

“Oh my fucking god. You cannot still remember that.”

“Of course I fucking remember that. You were hitting on me and John at the same damn time. You hadn’t even met us yet. Horny idiot.” Dave said, accenting his point by poking one of Karkat’s nubby horns.

“Shut up! I still think it’s offensive that humans use that phrase like that.”

“What, horny? Dude, we started using that word way before y’all ever even appeared on our radar.”

“I’m not convinced.”

“You think I’d invent an expression just to poke fun at you? Wait, don’t answer that, I definitely would.”

“Exactly. Dick.” Karkat huffed, then took Dave by surprise by leaning in to kiss him again. They shared a few more gentle kisses, a couple of them ruined by smiles from either of them and what was definitely not a giggle or two, and then Karkat lifted his head a bit to press a tiny kiss to the tip of Dave’s nose. Dave was pretty sure he was gonna explode from the tenderness. Pirouette off the fucking handle or whatever but in the best possible way. Here lies Dave Strider, he died because his alien boyfriend was too damn soft.

Wait.

“Hey, are we boyfriends?”

“You mean matesprits?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“I dunno.” Karkat worried his lip with one of his fangs. “Do you wanna be?”

“I dunno.” Dave said, unintentionally parroting him. “Maybe? I-. I wouldn’t be opposed. To being matesprit-boyfriends. Maybe we can try it out for a while, see if we’re both down to clown- wait, bad choice of words, hopefully no clowns will be involved.”

“Yeah, that might get fucking weird.”

“Definitely. If you somehow become a clown, that ‘maybe’ will immediately turn into a no.”

“If I turn into a clown, you have my explicit permission to kill me instantly.”

“Punch the kill-button on the nose, right?” Dave said, brushing their noses together.

“Exactly. I’m trusting you with the secret to killing trolls, use it wisely.”

“I promise to only use my knowledge to put an end to my clown boyfriend’s horrible hypothetical existence.”

“You’re so dumb.” Karkat mumbled, tone full of affection, and he tucked his face into Dave’s neck.

They stayed there for a while, hours maybe, rambling and teasing each other. It really wasn’t very different from how they normally spent their time except they were a tangled mess of limbs and half on each other’s laps, cutting off particularly pointless rambles with kisses and effectively changing the subject completely.

Dave knew there were definitely things to worry about, things he’d have to deal with eventually, but with an armful of happy troll kissing him, he couldn’t be any happier.

#dave strider #karkat vantas #davekat #homestuck #my writing #okay to reblog #i wrote this in the bus station and on the ride back to college on sunday #i alternated between writing it and finishing the comic itself lmao #i hope it's decently in character!!!!!#i've never written them before (obviously bc i literally finished the comic two days ago)#but yeah we love soft boyfriends

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bellavidasb-blog · 5 years

Text

/Dealing with the Suicide of Someone you Love/

I have not shared this yet on Social media until now. It was just far too painful. However, I feel brave enough now to share this with you. So here goes...

On February 4, 2019, my dad took his own life. He had struggled with untreated bipolar his whole life and Aspergers (ASD). About a year ago, he went in for surgery for a Hip replacement and his health went downhill after the surgery due to several infections and pain that doctors could not get rid of.

Sadly, my dad did not want to admit he had bipolar. He thought he only had depression and anxiety because he actually like his mania. I think this might be true of some people who are bipolar. They love their Highs, but their Lows scare them. So, he never saw a Psychiatrist who could accurately diagnose him because he only went when he was Depressed and saw a General Practitioner MD.

Something that bugs me about this is that many Doctors will write a prescription for Antidepressants without truly diagnosing their patients thoroughly. They hear the symptoms and just write a prescription without truly understanding what is going on.

While my dad was depressed, Antidepressants were not the answer for him. He needed a Mood Stabilizer and he needed a Psychologist and a Psychiatrist to monitor his meds.

Sadly, I learned after his death that my dad took an antidepressant for a few days, said it hurt his stomach and abruptly stopped taking it. A few days later, he woke up, drove his car to a parking garage 5th floor and jumped without leaving a note of explanation to anyone. This was so unlike my dad as he loved to write... if he was himself, he would have at least left all of us a note to explain why he did this. He didn't even kiss my stepmom goodbye that morning when he left.

We are all devastated. And tragically, my family has had to deal with suicide many times before... My family has had many people who have committed suicide. At least 3 of my dad's siblings, two uncles and his grandmother committed suicide. This is an epidemic of huge proportions in my family.

I am sharing this with you because I need to talk about this and not sweep it under the rug as suicide is often not talked about. I might sound like I am making light, but believe me I am not. I take this very, very seriously.

In fact, I suffer from depression and anxiety and have taken an antidepressant for 11 years now. It has helped me cope with stress, anxiety and depression and I know it is something I need. I have myself been suicidal, but thankfully, was able to pull out of it and get help through counseling and, of course, my medication. It makes me so sad and upset when people "medication shame" people for taking something that is helping them cope.

We as a society need to realise some very important Truths about the Brain:

The Brain is an Organ- exactly like any other Major Organ in the Body.

The Brain is highly susceptible to deficiencies in the chemicals it needs to function properly- just like any other Organ in the body!

The Brain can be Low on chemicals just like your Liver or Pancreas.

No one would EVER shame a person with Diabetes for taking Insulin- why is it ok to Shame someone who has low serotonin for taking an SSRI Antidepressant?

The Brain does not replace its cells like other organs in the body and is much more fragile than other organs in the body.

The Brain is highly sensitive to stimuli from the environment, chemicals in the air, foods we eat and the stimuli you are giving it.

If we can come to think differently about our Brains and how they Function, we might start to destigmatize "Mental Health". How about "Brain Health" instead? No one gets all worked up about "Heart Health" and thinks "People will judge me if they know I am on Cholesterol medication." Yet, many people fear others knowing they are depressed, in therapy or taking medications.

I have heard many people tell me, "Well, I have been taking (XYZ) medication for a few months now, but I am trying to get off of it." I always think, "WHY!? Is it helping you? Why would you get off something that has helped you feel better?" I think people feel like they have to qualify why they are on something and then say they don't REALLY need it- it is just temporary to help them through a tough time. I believe this is because people don't want others to think they are "crazy" or judge them for being on something for depression.

I suppose it is Ironic that around a year ago when Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain both took their lives so close to each other, I started a Podcast called "The Erin Show" about Suicide to give support to others and share a little of my story. I never thought I would be talking about my own Dad's suicide.

I now realize just how important it is to talk about suicide and depression. It truly can save someone's life. I used to hide from others that I took an antidepressant, but I decided a while back to be very open with people about taking medication. I can't help anyone if I am hiding the truth. I encourage others to share they take medication and not be afraid others will judge them. As people start to open up about taking these drugs, it will defuse the stigma around taking them! It is so ridiculous that people hide this and are ashamed of it. Why be ashamed of doing what your body and brain needs?

Not taking an antidepressant (or other appropriately prescribed drug that helps the brain with the lack of chemicals needed to cope) has probably killed far more people in this world from Suicide than the actual pills have done harm to people. One study showed that nearly 25 Million people have taken their own lives. That is a staggering and sobering statistic.

25 Million People! That is more than any War fought. The amount of heartache and sorrow generated from those people taking their own lives is overwhelming! And now I am once again feeling their sorrow so deeply.

This should be at the top of our National Health agenda and yet it is not. Mainly because it is thought that it is voluntary. However, what is the root cause of these suicides is our Brain functioning and our coping mechanisms.

If you have ever been Suicidal, you know that everything else in the world disappears and all you know is how deeply painful your life has become. There seems no way out of that suffering. You are not thinking about anyone other than yourself and your pain at that moment. I know, because I have been there myself. It is so frightening to feel like that. I don't want you or anyone to think I am judging you. I am not. I don't judge my dad for what he did. I am heart broken. I am devastated he felt so lonely and afraid in his last moments on this Earth. It makes me happy he is out of his pain, however.

Yet, for anyone who has had this happen to a loved one, it is a very heavy burden to bear. It is pain that never really goes away. There are days that I feel fine, and others that the pain is so heavy I can barely breathe.

When my brother called me to tell me, he said, "Erin, I just got off the phone with (my stepmom) and Dad killed himself." Followed by silence.

I was so stunned that I felt like I sat there with my mind whirlling forever, but it was probably just a split second. My brother is a joker and was the class clown, so my first thought was, 'He must be kidding. No way would dad do that.' Then, of course, my brain acknowledged, 'No way in hell would he be kidding about dad killing himself.'

My first words were, "What? No. No way." At least I think they were because I was in Shock and I can't really remember what I said... All I remember was it felt like the world ground to a halt and I was in slow motion trying to grasp what had just been said to me.

"Yes, Erin. This morning," he said compassionately.

"What? How? Why, why would he do that?" I started to cry, completely dumbfounded and reeling from shock, disbelief and horror.

My brother gently told me what had happened and what he had been told. He tried to comfort me because he knew how close I had been with my dad. We both told each other how much we loved each other and said we would be heading there to be with my stepmom.

After I hung up, I crumpled up on the floor and sobbed uncontrollably. My heart literally felt like it was tearing in two pieces. My cat was the only other being there and she came over and gently nuzzled against me trying to comfort me. I held her and cried sobbing until I could get up. My mind was racing and I felt like I had just been spun around like a top. I didn't know what to do.

I called my husband who was at the doctor and told him sobbing and trying to make sense. He immediately said, "I'm leaving and I will be right there. I am so sorry, sweetie. I love you. I'll be home soon."

No words can really express that level of grief and sorrow. As I said, I have had other people I love who took their own lives. However, nothing can prepare you for losing someone to suicide, especially a parent, who helped give you life, raise you and protect you when you were little. It is difficult enough having a parent die. Knowing they did this to themselves is a whole different level of sorrow and loss.

Unless you have experienced this yourself, it is difficult to truly understand, and I don't wish this on anyone. I hope you never have to experience this. I don't know if I will ever not feel this pain when I think of my dad. My brother is better at focusing on the good times and fun we had with him. And I know I will get there someday.

Perhaps it is because I am so empathetic that I suffer from depression. When you feel emotions very deeply, it can be a blessing and a curse. I certainly do where my heart on my sleeve, and so did my dad. This can make you much more creative and artistic, but it can also be a weapon you use against yourself that can drag you down into despair if you don't keep it in check.

I want you to know, that even though I am still suffering, I see the beauty of life. I see the beauty in YOU. I wrote this article today to help those who feel lost and lonely. To help those who are sad and feel like they may never feel happy again. If this is you, please know that there are so many people out there who love you. Some who you have never even met.

If my Dad had told even one person that he was Suicidal, this might not have happened. If you are depressed and suicidal, Please tell someone who can help you. I have had people email me who I did not know personally admit they were suicidal and there is nothing I can do other than tell them to please get help and give them the Suicide hotline. The only way to truly get help is to be honest with someone who will be there to support you and get you help.

If you don't have someone you can talk to, you need to be brave enough to find a Psychiatrist and get help for yourself. I pray that you get better and find happiness again! You deserve to be happy! We all do!

You can email me if you need support and I will try to help, but I will always tell you to find support close to you as well. That is the key to breaking out of whatever you are feeling. Research has proven that all of us crave human connection as one of our basic human needs.

Most of all, I want you to know that I am rooting for you. If you can find the strength to keep going, there is so much beauty waiting for you in this life if you seek it out. Yes, life can be extremely difficult. But Life can also be extremely beautiful. You will see that beauty return if you hold on. And I pray that you do.

Thank you for reading my story. I love you all.

God bless you and Keep you,

Erin XOXO

My Email: [email protected]

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1 (800) 273-8255

www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Note: You can also online chat with someone at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24 hours a Day every day of the year. It's free, private and confidential.

By going to their website, you can find a Local Crisis Center and you can get help, or you can get information on how to Volunteer, Donate and help support the incredible work they are doing to save lives.

Please share this post to help others who are suffering from losing someone to Suicide or who are suicidal themselves. Thank you. XO

Here are some more resources:

Bipolar Symptoms: https://www.psycom.net/bipolar-disorder-symptoms/

#suicide #dealingwithsuicide #youarenotalone #youareloved #suicideprevention #bipolar #depression #anxiety #dontgiveup

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grotesquegabby · 6 years

Note

Hey, these aren’t my rules! Come to think of it, I don’t have any rules!

I was hoping for this line! You know who I thought of the instant I saw it?

Alex~

Thought I should put a warning in here. There will be gore, and violence. Not as much as I had hoped to write for him but x3 enough that I felt a need for a warning

Cool Guy

Alexander Calamity was strange. Odd, weird, and to many mad. Though that was an understatement. The guy was downright psychotic, but you wouldn’t know it when looking at him. He was a people person. Viewed as a Party God and rather chill guy by all who knew him. Your resident cool guy.

But back to madman…which is what brings us here now to this scene before us.

The man ran for his life, gasping to catch his breath. The damned maze of a house with all its colors intermingling left him nothing but confused and nauseous. He heard a little tune coming down a hall and ran in the opposite direction knowing damn well that clown coming. His heart beating hard and fast, as if threatening to escape his rib cage. And if he didn’t get out of this place….it just might. He found a topsy turvy room full of stairs going in every which direction. Some upside down, others going into the walls, some down…it was like a damned painting. The tune was getting closer so he had to make a decision fast. Quickly taking steps he felt would actually work, he headed down into a darkened area. Perhaps he would find the way out this way, if not then maybe a place to hide from that man. No…that was no man he thought. That thing following him….is a monster. He rushed down the steps, the farther he got the darker it became. Soon enough he couldn’t see anymore so he slowed just a bit, not knowing if he would hit a dead end….a trap….death….who knew in this madhouse. The mans throat was quickly becoming dry and parched due to all his running and heavy breathing. He stopped to catch his breath, bending down and putting his hands on his knees. He thought back to what brought him to this point. It all started earlier that day….

early afternoon~~~

“Hey guys check this out!” A group walked over to where their friend had pointed. the wall of a restaurant had a huge poster on it. Announcing the opening of one of the newly built clubs. “oooh oh it’s 90′s themed too! You guys wanna check it out?” “Sounds like it could be fun.” “I don’t know seems like it could be lame.” “Ah shut it you wouldn’t know a good time even if it bit you in the ass” “Hey!” “I say we go! If we hate it we leave no big deal. And if we go and have fun all the better to not have missed out”

Present time~

The man let out a sigh and wiped the sweat from his brow, what a mistake it was. The urge to cry hit him once again, but he had to stay strong. If he cried he would definitely give away his position alerting that beast. He took a deep breath before heading down through more darkness. But to his luck…a small light seemed to be at the bottom. Was this freedom? Finally he thought, he could get the hell out of this place. He hurried faster and faster the light getting bigger the closer he got. A smile came upon his face and he ran into the light. As soon as he did, his smile vanished. “What?! no no no no no!!” He ran his hands through his hair, tears forming at the corners of his eyes, “I thought…” He was back where he started. The damned stairs. “please no!” He almost fell to his knees. The tune started up again and he looked around himself terrified. “I refuse to die..” he told himself. “I can’t die…I need to tell people what happened..” he wiped his eyes and ran once again. He was surprised he had so much strength left in himself. More memories of how his predicament transpired reeled through his mind….

early that night~

The group arrived at the new club, decked out in whatever they could find to fit the theme of the club. Apparently you couldn’t get in unless you dressed to the theme. The place was hard to get into…which only made people want to get into it even more. Everyone that was was important seemed to be joining in the festivities. “Wow did you see that!” “What? what did you see?” “I just saw some models head into the club!” “What?! Damn…now I really want to be in there” “Of…course you do…” “and you said it was gonna be lame.” “Shut up!” The group soon came next but the guard gave them a sneer, “Back of the line….” “What?! but we’ve been waiting for two hours no fair!” The guard let a girl who was behind them come in. “I said…back of the line..” The group was about to give up and leave when they heard a voice, “awe come on Maverick let the kids in. I think they’d do awesome here~” The group turned around to see some guy decked out in 90′s clothing. He seemed to be in charge, “They’ll be my guests~. Come on in guys, the party is waiting~” He danced back into the building. The group excitedly followed in ready for a night of dancing, drinking, and so much more. They were VIPs for the night thanks to that cool guy who helped them get in. Apparently he was the owner of the place and turned out there was a fun little competition going on. Whoever could party the hardest and most would get to continue partying over at his place. Which was considered quite the honor…..

Present time~

He sniffled letting some of the tears fall. Little had they all known that honor was being that monsters dinner. The man ended up in a room full of mannequins. Some covered in cloth. He slowed down a bit to try and find a hiding spot. Quickly he found one behind some boxes and a group of the unsettling beings. He just needed to rest, that’s all he wanted. Closing his eyes….he drifted off a bit…

earlier…middle of the night~

The group had been invited to Alexander Calamitys house. He wanted them all to call him Alex though, since Alexander just sounded too business like for him. They were there to party not do business. Despite the strangeness of the house, it was interesting. It all started out so fun. There was plenty of dancing and drinking, and hell one of their friends ended up leaving the room to spend some alone time with the Alex guy. But when he came back alone ten minutes later…..it was suspicious. Not everyone took notice of it at first until someone asked where the guy went. “Oh him? Yeah we were having a blast when he suddenly passed out. I let him be to get his wicked nap on~” The guy just grinned at the group and leaned back to relax. So everyone continued to party….except one. She went off to find their friend to see if they really were alright. Something didn’t feel right.

That was when they heard a scream. The group ran to find her….nobody noticed then….but Alex’s grin seemed to twitch just a bit. Was he going to frown? Or was his smile getting bigger?

The screaming didn’t stop. The group found their friend and the one who went with Alex. Only he was not resting as Alex had told them. His mangled corpse had fallen from out of a closet. One eye staring back up at the group, tongue lulled out as his lower jaw was no longer attached and gone. Bleeding out onto the floor. He had a tear in his shoulder, as if a giant mouth full of sharp teeth had torn into him. A noise of struggle seemed to come from their friend…he was still somehow alive. The group had no clue what to do. When another noise came from their bloody zombie like friend. A whine? A whimper? A tearing noise sounded. The group turned terrified. Some screamed, others ran or stared horrified. Their host…had impaled another of their group with his hand through their chest. Alex pulled his hand out, ripping the girls heart out with it, “awe would you look at that f̶̡̟͓̟̖̩̘͔̱͙͎͍̪̺̊̽̎͐̂̿͜͠ó̸͇͈͓̃́͋̓̊́͛͆́̀̇͒̅͝ͅḻ̵̨̧̧̨͇͚͇͖̖͙͚̬͈̜͗͆͆́̎̂̿̈́͆͑͝k̶̬̹͙̹̣̠̜̞͚͕̬͚͈̗̩̂̈́̓̑̀̃̂̈́͗͐̏̐͘͝s̵̙̠̤̠̲̪̐͋͌́͊́̽̑̀ͅ~ she’s fallen for me.” He chuckled darkly and that’s when the rest of the group ran.

“Yo is this a game of hide and seek? I haven’t played in centuries~ haha!”

“….Ḧ̴͎̩̣̼͕̮̣͇̯͔̹̞̭̜́͂̀̀̀͒̏̍́̉̊̃͝͝õ̶̗͈͓̠̲̭̳̼̝͕͍͎͌͗̅̽͊͛̓̅́́̍̐͑͝w̷̡̫̣͙̫̹̘̒͛̀̂̉̅͒̒̃͑̍̓̚͝ͅ ̶͉̣̩̖̼̦̫͐̀͌̓̿̈́͝f̵̢̞̼̭͙̭̳́̍͋̐̉̒͐̾̅̃̍͐͠͠u̶̙̪̙̿̓̀n̸̢̦̘̹̞̲̟̝̈́͆͗̋̆͒̇̌͌̍̔͜͝ͅ~̴͙̣͇̺̻̝̥̣̭̭̳̹̉̈͌́͊͗̔̕ͅͅ “

The night went on that way. As if it was all some game for this monster. He hunted them down one by one. The third went down an absolute mess. When some of them regrouped the monster found them. He jumped from great heights only to land on one of them. Completely obliterating them. Every bone was heard as they snapped and cracked under him. Every pop and squish internally, along with the explosion of flesh. It splattered on the group of friends, sending them all running like scared animals. They were nothing but prey for the predator..

Present time~

The man awoke from the nightmare and shivered. It was getting cold where he was, in the little light he had. He saw a cloud come out as he sighed, so he rubbed his arms to warm up.

“psst”

he stopped, eyes wide in fear. Was that….it?

“pssst, buddy? you there?”

That sounded like one of his friends. He peeked out a bit and saw movement. “psst…it’s me Josh.” the man smiled so relieved and stood up, “Jo-Josh!” He shivered again, “Is that really you? It- It’s so-so so good to see you.” He was getting colder by the minute, “I thought you didn’t make it when we got separated” He went closer. Josh came out into the light a bit, he seemed rather pale, “Yeah dude I managed to get away. He almost got me Brian….” The man…or Brian stopped in his tracks. He took a step back. Josh looked at him funny, “Dude is something wrong?” “You aren’t Josh…” Brian said staring angrily at him. “What are you talking about man it’s me. We’re buddies!” Josh tried to reason. “No you aren’t…..” Brian argued back, not having any of it. “What makes you say that?” Josh asked now sounding serious. “Josh has never in his whole life…said dude.” admitted Brian. His shivering now happening not from the cold anymore. Joshs face suddenly fell and not in the usual way, his face no longer looked alive and he was laughing. Yet his mouth did not move. “ah man dude, you found me out! Should have known…” Alex came into the light, his hand in Joshs back. He made Joshs mouth move, forcing him to make funny facial expressions, “ I make a great puppet master don’t I~.

Got his voice down and ẹ̶̼̖̻͙̣̟̼̲͙͖̗̏̅̍͂̃̿̋̐̈̂͒̚̚͝͝v̶̢̲̹̰̳͕̩̍̒̃̓͜e̸̞̿͐r̴͕̦͍̟̪̒́̉̀͆y̵̺̯̬͎͉̙̭̰͓͋̍̈́̃̍́̾͂̾͠t̷̛̛̥̠̙̺̼͌̎̇͆͐̓̈́͑̎́̾̄͝h̵̡͔̦̭̞̤͓͚̗͈̫̹͕̩̺͑̾́̇̑̕ï̴̛̥̩͇̇̅̓͐́̃́̓́̄͛͠͝n̵̦̳̰͕̬̮̮̺̙͔̦͍̻̥̔́̑͋̌͂ͅg̴͇̤̻̰̱͎̫̲͚̳̙̓́̽̃͐̒͗͑̆̕͘͘͜͝……but…” He sighed and dropped Joshs corpse, “seems I….fucked up huh?” He laughed darkly. Brian took a step back too scared to scream and too tired to run anymore, “ple-please….I don’t want to die.” The tears poured out again, “Not like this….please…..there’s gotta be rules f-for things..like you!” He fell to his knees. Full on Sobbing.

“Of course there’s rules!” A small bit of hope sprung in his chest.

Alex laughed, many voices sounded through out the room as he did, “But Hey! These aren’t my rules! Come to think of it…”

Alex thought to himself as he walked over to the man and took his chin in his hand. A wicked grin adorned his face, “I don’t have any rules!” He laughed once again, the echo of many caused Brians ears to start hurting. Soon enough blood dripped from them. Brian was forced to look at Alex, the monster…the clown started to remove his sunglasses. “Want you to get a real good look at the real me kiddo~! Not a lot of people get this honor. Think of it as your….consolation prize for getting so far.” Alexander chuckled once again before his form started to dissolve away. Brian watched as this thing started to unfurl and reveal itself. He screamed so loud, so much his throat started to hurt…but it was nothing compared to the pain he felt while Alex enjoyed his meal.

The next day~

the club was open once again. The party hopping and wild as ever. Another group came through the line and Alex gave Maverick the go ahead. “Yo what’s up dudes and dudettes! Enjoy yourselves, you guys are my VIPs tonight!” He smiled warmly to them. The group was quite excited and ran into enjoy themselves. Alex smiled to himself, he was such a cool guy.

#blood #violence #clown #monster #death

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speedilyloudpaper · 6 years

Text

1 0 t o w i n

‘OK Jeff. Which group supported Smokey Robinson on The Tears of a Clown in 1970?’

A clock sound effect ticks.

‘Um.. I think that were The Miracles’

Ding

‘Correct, well done! Question 10, listen carefully… name the song title and artist of the following 90s one hit wonder.’

‘You’ve got this, Jeff!’ adds the radio Dj, nonchalantly. Despite his genuine admiration at Jeff’s knowledge of music, he couldn’t make himself interested in the outcome of today’s Ten to Win.

And if you think

That I've been losing my way

That's because I'm slightly blinded

And if you think

That I don't make too much sense

That's because

I'm broken minded

Jeff did have this, he remembers playing a cover of it when he was younger. Suddenly he’s back on stage of the Hillsborough Working Men’s club, clad in freshly ripped jeans and a white T shirt with the sleeves rolled over his shoulders, thrashing his bass guitar like his life depended on it. Yes, he can see the setlist in front of him in his mind’s eye.

‘I think that was... Inside, by um Stiltskin’

‘Congratulations Jeff! That’s 10 out of 10, you really do know your music. You just won yourself a digital radio!’

Jeff feels immense elation having won the quiz, indeed this is the most exciting thing that has happened to him all year.

‘Aw fantasti-’

‘Yeah really well done. Is there anyone you’d like to give a shoutout to, Jeff?’

Jeff sits on the sofa in his living room with his new smartphone held next to his ear, wearing an old Aerosmith T shirt and dressing gown. The room is small and sparsely furnished, with a threadbare carpet and dated off white floral wallpaper. Beside the sofa is a small wooden cabinet. Across the room, next to a fireplace in which stands an electric fan heater, is a huge flat screen impulse-bought television playing on mute. There are no ornaments other than a few photographs on the mantelpiece and an ashtray on the cabinet. Old and yellowing white lace curtains droop over the window, allowing in a little light. In the corner by the window sits an acoustic guitar on a black stand.

‘Um, yeah.. There’s my cousin Derek, who’ll be listening at work’ says Jeff. His cousin wouldn’t usually be the first person to enter his mind, but hearing that track had started a flood of memories of his days in his old band, which Derek, or Del back then, was the lead singer, along with his best mates Tony and Gaz on drums and guitar. The memories bring a wave of nostalgia, but also something else.

‘Also my two sons, Will and Joey, they’re both at their mother’s today, but they said they’d listen t’ the show… um.. All the fellas at work and… and’

He stares at the bare wall above the television set. Suddenly his eyes feel weary and his face feels heavy. Another memory comes to him.

He’s sitting in the passenger seat of his uncle’s van with his bandmates, their equipment in the back. BBC radio 2 is playing over the speakers, for background noise and so the guys could complain to each other about radio stations never playing ‘real music’. In truth, Jeff quite liked the old pop songs they would play, but he wouldn’t have told any of the others. He liked and respected most genres of music, which was probably what made him the most talented at writing songs for the band.

A man had just lost a quiz and was asked if he’d like to mention anybody. It was always men or women of a certain age, who would proceed to reel off a pre prepared list of people they knew like they’d just won a BAFTA, usually followed by the line ‘and anybody else who knows me that I haven’t mentioned’, like everybody they’ve ever met is listening, and they can shout in all of their faces ‘Remember me? Look at me now! I’m on radio!’, Jeff thought.

‘Listen to this guy, makin’ such a big deal of being on the radio’ grunts Tony distastefully, his elbow resting on the window frame, holding a lit cigarette out of the window. ‘I bet this feels like his 15 minutes of fame. After he hangs up he’ll go back to being a fuckin’ nobody.’ The rest nod in agreement. ‘I tell you now lads’ he continues ‘we’re not gonna be like that. We’ll be on the radio alright, just not doing a stupid quiz’

‘Hopefully we won’t be played on a crap station like this.’ adds Jeff, earning him a few chuckles from the others. He didn’t like classing people as nobodies or successes, but he did agree with his mate. In fact each member of the band had a desire to make something of themselves. He supposed it was due to angst of growing up in a small northern town, however he was sure that in himself, and perhaps the others, it came from something much deeper, didn’t it?. It was about doing more with his life than he watched those around him do. He didn’t want to live in the future, in the past or only at the weekend, he wanted to really live for every second, following his passion and putting his heart into what he did; and what he was passionate about, more than anything, was music.

‘Jeff? Sorry I’m going to have to hurry you up’

‘Um yeah. Sorry. A-and...’ he lets out a sigh and a dry laugh, almost mocking himself.

‘And everybody who knows me who I haven’t mentioned’ he hears himself say.

The nostalgia recedes like an ocean tide, leaving him empty and all too aware of the present moment, the empty flat, the familiar silence except the sound of water running through pipes and occasional quiet whoosh of a car passing outside. The radio host says something but he isn’t listening, and he’s put on hold.

Jeff thinks of all the people who know him who he hasn’t mentioned. Other members of his family, who he keeps meaning to see more often, his friends he meets at the weekends to play pool and get drunk, and his coworkers, who he sees almost every day.

Cher’s ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’ plays in his ear, distorted and crackling, as he pictures the last 20 years of faces, and with the faces, memories.

The band had played regularly for three years, playing to crowds that increased in size each night, earning themselves a small following. One of their best performances was at a nightclub in Leeds, to a crowd of over a thousand people. The frenzy of the crowd was like nothing the band had seen before. People were jumping up and down and bouncing off of each other like one giant crazy pounding mass of screaming faces and waving arms that could burst through the walls. The energy that came off this thing was immense, like a powerful force that spurred the band to another level. By the end of the show, each member of the band was utterly worn out and dripping with sweat, the pickups on Gaz’s guitar were splattered with blood from his fingers (which they all found extremely cool).

It wasn’t just the performance that made that night so special for Jeff, it was also the night he met his wife. After the show, the band had gone to the club’s bar, where each had necked the most refreshing beer they would ever taste. After ordering a second they were approached by a girl with red lipstick and a big wavy hairstyle, who introduced herself as Debbie, saying how great the performance was. She was clearly drawn to Jeff more than the others, to his surprise. Admittedly, being the bass player, he was often overlooked by their female fans after the show, something that Del and Gaz would enjoy winding him up about. Because of this, and the fact he was still coated with sweat and had beer dripping from his chin, he didn’t expect her to be interested in him, but she was, and the two got on well. She had travelled with the band for a while before moving into Jeff’s flat. She saw Jeff as a perfect opportunity to get away from her parents, and the fact he played in a rock band was an added bonus. Perhaps she had rushed things a little, but she did suppose she loved him.

Six months later. The two are in the kitchen. Debbie is pregnant. The two had known for a while, yet neither had really mentioned the changes that were soon to come, especially regarding the band. Eventually she decided they’d avoided it for long enough, and brought it up one day before breakfast. She explained that having a baby meant that he’d have to get a job with a more steady income, and that he wouldn’t be able to travel as much with the band anymore. Of course Jeff had already thought about this, he just didn’t want to face the truth. On top of this, she also said that traveling with the band had had an effect on her as well, and that they weren’t spending as much time together as she’d like. This he hadn’t thought about. Obviously they weren’t the only couple to have thought about this, as a day later, the band were in Gaz’s living room, his girlfriend in the kitchen, when Gaz suggests that they call it quits on the band. They all eventually agree.

Del manages to get Jeff a job at Hardy & Co, the factory where Del’s brother worked. Jeff remembers being in the interview, sat across from some miserable looking manager, who had huge bags under his eyes and yellowed uneven teeth and sour breath, trying to explain his O levels and how hard he was willing to work blah blah blah, when all he could really think about was leaving his dreams and passion behind for a 9 to 5 job that meant nothing to him. He got the job and since then life had gone on like it does for most. He and Deborah got married. The baby was born followed by another a year later. At the factory he worked his way from floor assistant to supervisor. He struggled to think of anything that had made his life much different from the thousands of other ‘nobodies’ his age, apart from, maybe, the fact that his wife cheated on him. Then again that might be more common than you think, he thought, if television dramas are anything to go by.

Of course, he hadn’t spent his life in misery, dwelling on the fact that his band never became a major success. He’d had his ups and downs like anybody. There had been moments of immense happiness, such as his wedding day or when he held his children for the first time. In fact, until hearing that song in the radio quiz, he hadn’t thought about his band or old dreams in a few years. He never forgot his love of music either, as he was always listening to new tapes and CDs, and was known by his colleagues as the man to go to to settle an argument about who topped the charts in what year, or who played a certain song. He had a job to do all day, friends to meet at the weekend, and kept himself entertained in his free time, like everyone does.

Only seeing the years flash before him now made it seem so empty and pointless, leaving him feeling overwhelmed with regret and hopelessness and with a sinking in his chest. He felt like he’d failed himself. Like he’d let himself down. He couldn’t just blame himself though, and he started to feel irritated at the whole world for screwing things up for him.

His talent, his dreams, his passion for music had come to nothing. Well, he had gained one thing from it all; winning this radio quiz. Maybe he’d impressed a few listeners. Maybe he’d --

‘Hello? Is that Jeff’

Jeff stands up quickly when he hears the voice, remembering he should be ecstatic that he’s won the quiz, but unable to shake that strange mix of wistfulness and exasperation.

‘Yeah... still here’

When did I become such a fucking failure

‘Hi, congrats on winning today’s quiz. Could you please tell us your full name and address so we can send you your Sony D.A.B radio?’

This is what his lifelong love for music had come down to. This is what he had to show for it all. A Sony D.A.B fucking radio. Maybe he could show it off to visitors. Maybe people would ask him where he got it from, and he could tell them how he had won the quiz. It wasn’t much but it was something. He snickers at himself again, sardonically.

‘Yeah yeah, it’s um Jeff Stephens--’

The phone beeps.

‘Hello?’

No reply.

He takes the phone away from his ear and looks at the screen. Instantly he realises the stupid phone has hung up, like it keeps doing all the fucking time. I don’t even get the fucking radio. He isn’t sure whether he wants to laugh or cry.

He stands motionless in the silent room for a few seconds. The empty hole inside him has quickly filled with white-hot rage.

‘FUCK!’ he screams at the top of his voice, straining the veins in his face.

‘FUCKING SHIT FUCKING--’ he aggressively lobs the piece of shit smartphone at his guitar in the corner, smashing the screen, snapping the case and leaving a huge dent in his guitar.

‘PIECE OF SHIT’ he yells, his voice faltering this time. He collapses into the sofa, his anger becoming despair.

‘Stupid fucking phone’ he cries.

‘Stupid fucking guitar, fucking band’ tears fill his eyes.

‘Fucking job... fucking kids...fucking...all this shit’

He opens his mouth to say something else but doesn’t, and slumps back further into his sofa and he doesn’t move for a while.

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softforhenry · 6 years

Text

I don’t watch every con panel, not even J2 even though I’m a Jensen!girl.

After the huge shitstorm on twitter and even in some media about J2 after SPNNOLA, I had to watch the panels myself though. I recommend that to everyone btw, who only builds their opinion on just a small video snippet of a panel or even just a single tweet.

And I genuinely recommend everyone to watch the panels anyway, because they were FUN!

Gold panel:

The boys joking about Jared’s “n’awlins” accent is so cute. Them doing accents is always great entertainment!

J2 thanking the fans for the EW covers. They are so thankful and appreciative of our support. No matter what they accomplish, they always credit us fans and take time to thank us for our devotion. That they’re still so humble about their success is amazing.

Jared: “I don’t know how subscribing a magazine works anymore.” – Jensen: “You sign up and they send you one.” I just love Jensen’s deadpan humor! Jared talking about how his mom is so happy for him being on the cover - awww <3

Ahhhhh noooooo don’t kill the kitty, Jensen!! Bad Jensen. LOL.

“Jensen is a master of his voice.” – of course he is. What the hell isn’t he good at?!

Really interesting hearing them talk about voice acting. And I must say, I do enjoy the image of Jensen doing it with just his coffee in his hand and in underwear ^^

J2 being like “come here” to Alex, when he asked about cons. YES!! Bring him to one!

Jensen saying he already likes the holy water joke, because there’s a pun in there. And Jared doing the interrupting sloth. Gotta love those dorks!

The way Jensen immediately perks up and is really attentive when the fan mentions Danneel!

Dean “Boom Boom” Winchester. YES!!!

Jensen talking about home is the cutest!!! Danneel handing him the keys to “EVERYTHING” once Jensen gets home and then driving off… the way Jensen fondly jokes about it and then says that sometimes it does feel like it (wahhh they must miss home and their families so much and the little time they get together must feel too short all the time) and then he gets serious and says it’s actually him asking Danneel “what do you need me to do?”… such a good husband and dad <3

JENSEN MENTIONING FIREFLY – I LIVE FOR THIS!

“Potty words.” Oh Jared. LOL.

The pirate joke is always cute.

And now to that moment: now that I’ve seen it, my thoughts on it: First of all, Jensen genuinely tried to shut Jared down, his “no” was definitely serious. Jared then warned everyone that his joke is “really offensive”. People still kept cheering him on and asking him to tell it. He did. And yes, it was offensive. But yes, it was also a joke. Nothing more. Just to get some perspective on this: How many of you who are now dragging them over the coils for that joke, have played Cards against Humanity for example? How many of you have laughed at all those horrible, inappropriate things that came from that game? Knowing exactly how offensive it is? Just think about that for a second. Also Jensen’s “Mr. Cosby” … how many of you are still making jokes about Trump and retweet memes and stuff about Trump? In all seriousness, there’s nothing to joke about what Trump is doing. But sometimes people have to laugh. That’s it. SO WHERE THE HELL IS THE DIFFERENCE? The double standards of some people are astonishing and it always gets me.

Jared talking about how Odette likes to play with his beard. CUTENESS ALERT!

“Alex has plenty of stories to tell already.” – Then let’s get him to a con ASAP!!!

J2 are always so thoughtful answering the acting advice question. No matter how many times it gets asked, they don’t look bored by it and they always take it serious. They want other people to succeed and give them the best advice they can. Every single time. It amazes me sometimes that they don’t get fed up with questions like this that get asked so often, but they’re always gracious and genuine in their response and I think it’s really sweet and a testament to their characters.

We as a fandom could learn from that, in my humble opinion.

Main panel:

Jensen’s chant. DAMN!! Great mood from the beginning. Love him!

Jared’s story about getting lost in New Orleans and meeting that person who thought he’s only dressed up as Sam Winchester had me laughing.

I know prank questions are getting old, but this time there was actually a good prompt to ask it with Alex being new on set. I giggled at Jensen describing it as “welcome package”. Also let’s hope we get that extra long gag reel!!!!

J2 teasing Misha. I know some people don’t like it. But the thing is, I see most people who say they’re done with it blaming J2 for giving fuel to the Misha haters and that being the reason they don’t like it. Two things that go through my mind at that every time: You shouldn’t blame friends joking about each other for the actions of other people! And the haters will ALWAYS find something to use for their agenda. Everyone with two eyes can see that J2M are true friends. Just watch the jibcon panels and their live streams and stuff – these guys love each other. No matter WHAT J2 might say about Misha, it won’t change a hater’s mind. Nothing will. So let the boys joke about each other. Like Jensen once said: “We prank you as maliciously as we do, because we like you the best.”

Also here we go with the double standards again: Everyone getting so offended over the offensive joke in the gold panel, but laughing about Jared calling Jensen Misha’s toy? Sexualizing and dehumanizing him? So to those who get angry about the first one and start laughing and squeeing about the second one: Please explain to me why that’s okay? I guess when it fits shipping purposes everything’s fine? Idk… but that’s what I get from it. Jensen’s initial reaction was a double take and a “you did not just say that”-look. But of course Jensen went with the joke and that’s what I love about all of them: They can take a joke, they laugh about each other and even more about themselves, they make us laugh in the process, they aren’t afraid to makes themselves look silly. It’s all in good fun. I’m so done with fans trying their hardest to turn everything into a bad thing. Isn’t this supposed to be our source of fun and sometimes an escape from reality?

“I shift myself.” Oh Jared. LOL. Jensen stopping Stephen from making the badum tsss at that joke and then apologizing for their lame jokes. PLEASE DON’T EVER CHANGE GUYS!!!

Loved the question about Dean and Jack, Dean’s emotional state and how Jensen thinks about it. I seriously live for hearing Jensen talk about his acting choices and about Dean’s headspace. How he describes anger as a stage of grief – everyone who calls Dean a meanie for his behavior with Jack: Please listen to Jensen here, he’s really an emotionally intelligent man and has a great understanding and instinct for human emotions. I’m also curious about him teasing that the relationship between Dean and Jack will change.

Jensen’s instant reaction of “NONONONONO” to destroying the Impala in episode 2x02 makes me so emotional. This scene is one of those that will always stick with me, it’s so raw and brutal and Jensen was incredible!

It’s also interesting to hear about how they filmed that motel room scene in episode 10x23. That they trashed the room first and then Jensen had to match the destruction they already created for the first takes. I’m laughing at him describing how he threw something against that picture frame and instead of crashing it was hanging perfectly after it. - “He is the one.” – DAMN RIGHT! :)

And Jared chiming in how funny it would’ve been if it had been on purpose and them miming how they put everything into place. LOL.

Look how sweet and happy they look for that girl spending her birthday at the con and having the time of her life. They love seeing other people happy. Adding something to their happiness. They’re good beans.

Jensen admitting that he’s an awful liar and to ask his wife. LOL. Someone ask Danneel about it at the next con she’s at!! (She needs to come to more, pleeeease!!)

Jared fangirling over Sam’s hair, Jensen joking that it’s gray and then making all those faces behind Jared (what an adorable clown!) and then going on to say “I pinch my… side”, that pause and his face after it!! Jensen has such amazing comedic timing, it’s gold!!!

Jensen explaining his reaction to when he sees his own performance on screen, especially emotional ones is so great. How he feels and taps into that emotion again when watching the scene and how much he loves his character (HE’S DEAN’S NUMBER 1 FAN!!!). Also their approach in preparing for a scene and how it fits their characters so well was truly interesting. Jared endlessly preparing and researching, just like Sam. While Jensen does it more on instinct, just like Dean. Gotta say here, that this is why I’m a Jensen/Dean fan. You notice that in his performance all the time and the authenticity he brings to each of Dean’s emotions is always tugging at my heartstrings.

Remembering Kim is always so sweet. They have so many nice things to say about Kim and I found it touching that they’re honoring him so much and credit him for their success.

JENSEN LOVES STRANGER THINGS!!! :D

The boys teasing Heather… from… Colorado. I’m laughing so hard. I love that they do this kind of thing (though I’d probably die if they started teasing me like that at the mic). The tease and joke with us fans, like we’re really friends/family.

Jared sharing so much about his struggles and his family is always special. I admire him for being so open and I’m thankful for everything he shares with us.

Jensen acknowledging that it’s good that people don’t feel ashamed of getting help, that it’s not about that person being crazy or that there’s something wrong with them. Acceptance is the biggest thing he wants to teach his children and I admire that. Also how his children should feel love and give love is a beautiful thing to say and to live by.

That they use gifs of themselves so often, especially Jared with the Loreal one, is so funny to me.

Jensen geeking out that they’re so popular because there’s so many gifs of SPN – WHAT A CUTIE OMG!

Jensen joking with that girl when she says her favorite gif is the one of Crowley saying “I torture all my friends, it’s how I show love.” His reaction: “What does that say about you? I like it. Text me. Colorado Heather has my number.” I’M DYING HAHAHAHAHA

Jensen & classic rock – YES! “I named my kid Zeppelin!” LOL.

“I like big butts.” – “I’ve put everything I have into Sam.” … Lots of dirty jokes and innuendo. Gotta love them.

“What would Dean do?” … Jensen totally is Dean’s number 1 fan.

I like how respectful Jensen speaks about Bob Singer’s directing. No matter what you think about Singer personally, I love how much Jensen admires other people’s skills and praises their good work.

Good points from Jared about Sam and Jack’s relationship as well. Especially liked how Jared said we don’t actually really know where Sam stands right now. It’s truly unclear how much Sam is about using Jack or caring about him and what he expects from taking Jack under his wing.

LET’S KEEP PUSHING FOR THE SPN MOVIE!!

The last question: Love that the scene with Baby’s backseat wasn’t scripted!

Bottom line: I really enjoyed both panels. J2 were in a great mood and there were some really interesting questions. Watching the panels made me wish that it’s February already so I can be at a con again and enjoy their panels in person <3

#j2 #SPNNOLA 2017 #NOLACON 2017 #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #my thoughts #double standards #annoy the hell out of me #loved their panels

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himbowelsh · 7 years

Note

"I'm gonna need you to calm down." - the Philly squad upon seeing a gator in the bayou visiting Roe's family.

prompt me like a love song baby (ACCEPTING)

Gene’s not sure what he regrets more – inviting Babe down to Louisiana for the week while his cousin is also visiting, or saying it was fine if Babe brought his friends with him.His sister Minnie put it quite nicely. “We call him the creepy cousin for a reason, and it ain’t because he’s a friendly guy. We call him that cause he’s weird, a little scary, and has his share of problems. You’re supposed to keep him away from kids or open flames, not invite your boyfriend down here to meet him.”

To be fair, it’s not like Gene planned it this way. Babe’s visit had been a very spur-of-the-moment thing – as in, Babe called him up one day and told him, “I need to get out of Philly for, like, a week. Can I please crash at your place?” Apparently half a country away seemed like a far enough escape from whatever trouble Babe refuses to tell Gene about. Gene wasn’t even surprised when Babe called him from the plane a few days later and sheepishly told him that the rest of his crew was coming along.(Gene shudders to think of being crammed in alongside the Philly bunch on a long plane ride. He thinks he’d start looking for parachutes before they even made it off the runway.)His cousin showing up on the Roe family’s doorstep on the morning before Babe is set to arrive: that’s a surprise.Merriell Shelton straightened up in the doorway, bared his teeth in a shameless grin, and wasted no time making himself at home. He bedded down on the couch (the guest room, Gene insisted, was for Babe), drank all of the beer, and leered at Gene and his siblings over the top of the Bayou Chene Times. If there’s one thing Merriell’s good at, it’s showing up when he’s not welcome. If he’s good at anything else, it’s making people so uncomfortable that they want to crawl out of their skin.(Minnie and Winnie, the twins – who aren’t actually twins, but are so alike in every way that the family considers them a single unit – hate Merriell with a passion. He antagonizes them, they snap at him right back, and it turns the entire house into a war zone. Gene is ready to rent a hotel room, just because he knows he won’t be able to endure them for long.)Merriell is the last person Gene wants in the house when his boyfriend and his friends show up. But, well, it’s not like he can kick his cousin out. His mother would never let him, or forgive him for suggesting it; his aunt would roll in her grave. Merriell might not care either way, but Gene won’t risk the wrath of his Maman.So, when a gaudy orange taxi rolls through the bayou and pulls up in front of Gene’s family home, Gene is waiting at attention in the doorway; and Merriell is lounging on the porch.“Where in the sweet hell,” Merriell mutters, “did they find a taxi in the middle of this swamp?”Gene doesn’t answer. He knows better than to question Babe’s way of doing things by now. The taxi could be stolen, for all he knows, and he really doesn’t want to find out.As each person steps out (there are so many folks in there that taxi might as well be a clown car), it couldn’t be more obvious that the city-dwellers are out of place. Fran is wearing a sunhat and sunglasses. Bill is grimacing down at the mud staining his pristine white sneakers. Julian’s in jeans, for god’s sake, and Spina has a damn map under one arm. Worst of all, Babe’s Irish porcelain skin all but makes him luminescent in the warm bayou sunlight. The snorts he’s wearing do his bony legs no favors. Gene has no doubt he’ll be red as a cherry before the day is out, and moaning about how much the sunburn hurts.He doesn’t get much of a chance to gape at his out-of-place guests, however. Babe catches sight of his boyfriend and breaks into a grin wide enough to light all of New Orleans.“Gene!”Babe rushes forward, and the next second Gene finds him swept up in an enthusiastic hug. His arms lock around Babe’s shoulders; he pulls him down to plant a kiss against soft lips. In an instant, Babe is pliant against him, and Gene has to stop himself from grinning. He’s missed this.When they break apart, Babe is flushed as red as his hair, and he’s still beaming. “Oh god, you look –” he says, and is cut off by Gene kissing him again. “Great,” he finishes, when the part for air once more. “You look incredible.”From over Gene’s shoulder, he hears his cousin whistle. No force on earth is getting him to tear his eyes from Babe just to tell Merriell Shelton off.A part of him wonders if the Philadelphia gang are actually from earth. If they were some bizarre pack of aliens, it would explain a lot.An unholy shriek splits the bayou, and that’s what gets Gene to tear his attention away from Babe. To be fair, Babe does the same thing. He reels around at the first sound of his friends in trouble, and is already bounding towards them before he catches sight of something that makes him freeze in his tracks.Then Babe screams, and everything falls to chaos after that.People are wailing. The taxi’s horn blares. The Philadelphia tourists run around each other like chickens with no heads, any sense completely abandoned in their panic. “HOLY SHIT,” someone is hollering. It’s shrill enough that it could be Babe, but there’s an equal chance of it being Bill, or Julian. It’s definitely not Fran. “THAT’S A DINOSAUR. THAT IS A GODDAMN DINOSAUR.”Fran has climbed on top of the taxi, armed with her purse and ready to use it. Spins is hammering on the car windows, but the driver has locked the door. Babe has leapt into Bill’s arms, clinging to his neck like a damsel in distress. Julian is on the ground, curled up with his hands clasped over his head, ready for the end of times. Guarnere, in classic Wild Bill style, looks ready for a fight.They’re all losing their minds over an alligator.To be more accurate, they’re losing their minds over Etienne.Etienne has lived around their home for as long as Gene can remember. He’s a friend of the family. Not their pet, of course (“You can never tame nature,” Gene’s late grandmére once told him a small solemn-eyed little boy who never forgot her words. “You gotta to learn to live with it, or it’ll eat you up.”), but a friend all the same. Etienne and the Roe family have an unspoken agreement: you don’t bother us, we won’t bother you. He Roe children were kept well out of the way of the ancient gator as children, though little Gene always dared to venture too close when his mother’s back was turned. In exchange, Etienne gobbled up the pests around the Roe home, and left all the “good things” (like people) alone. Etienne isn’t someone Gene’s Maman will invite in for dinner, but he’s harmless.Mostly.Gene wonders if he has a taste for Philadelphians.Bill drops Babe to the ground, and Babe immediately wraps himself around the taxi’s tire. He looks like he’s crying. Everyone’s screaming so loud that Gene can’t tell whose voice belongs to who.He takes a few steps back onto the porch. For a few moments, all he can do is watch in bemusement. He’s jolted out of his gaze by an inevitable snort of laughter.“You’ve really thought this through,” Merriell drawls, and takes a long drag from his cigarette.Gene sighs through his teeth, and debates the merits of intervening. He could let them wear themselves out – it seems easiest. Then again, if they keep this racket up, the entire bayou is going to be awake, and old Etienne might just get offended enough do do something about it.So he reluctantly clears his throat and steps forward. “Everyone,” he calls; and when this gets no response, “everyone!”Nothing. He’s not sure what he expected.A sudden projectile flies past his head, not leaving Gene time to duck. It shatters against the nearest tree with a loud crash. The noise is jarring enough that, all at once, the chorus of screams cuts off. Merriell is standing up now, staring at the group with a wide-eyed, unreadable expression. He’s doing the thing again, Gene realizes, and fights not to moan. The creepy thing. This is why Merriell is the cousin they don’t like to leave alone in the house.“Oh, look at that. You do know how to shut your mouths.” Merriell’s lips curl back in what no sane person would call a grin. He looks thrilled. “Makes it lots nicer ‘round here when it’s quiet.”Babe is the one to break the spell that Merriell seems to have cast over the group. His attention swivels back to Gene, and he chokes on air as he fights to form words. “G-G-Gene! There’s a, there’s, it’s a goddamn –”“That’s Etienne,” Gene interjects, stepping off the porch again. “Afraid I’m gonna need y'all to quiet down. My Maman’s inside cooking, and all this screaming’s not good for the gumbo.”Fran is staring at him as if he’s lost his mind – even though she’s the one clinging to the hood of a taxi. “You gave that monster a name?”“He’s our neighbor. We’re friendly.” To prove it, Gene gives Etienne a wave. The old gator, smart enough to not want to get involved, slinks back into the depths of the bayou.Only when he’s gone do the Philly crew seem it safe enough to exit Crisis Mode. Babe peels himself off the ground, while Bill lifts Fran off the hood of the car. No one bothers to help Julian up. When they all turn to Gene, wide eyed and expectant, Gene is reminded of schoolkids waiting for the teacher’s instruction. He’s never wanted to be a teacher.“Lets go inside,” he says after a beat. “Time for you to meet to family. My brothers are out, but my sisters are in, and so’s my Maman. They’re all dying to meet you.”“And who’s this asshole?” Bill demands as they pass Merriell (he pulls Fran a little closer to him when Merriell leers at her). His cousin doesn’t seem offended in the least, so Gene just rolls his eyes.“That’s Merriell. He’s part of the family, but he ain’t supposed to be here now. You can ignore him.”As the Philly gang filters through the doorway, one after the other, Gene feels like a mama duckling counting heads. Only when he gets to the last head – full of messy ginger hair – does he pause to look up into Babe’s bright face.“That might have been a rough start,” Babe whispers, looping an arm around his waist, “but this is gonna be a great vacation, Gene. I’m sure of it.”Gene bathes in the confidence of his boyfriend’s words. He wants more than anything to believe that Babe is right.The jagged smile he glimpses on Merriell’s face, however, suggests that Babe and his friends are in for more trouble than they’re prepared to handle.

#Anonymous #snafu shelton #baberoe #babe heffron #gene roe #philly crew #my writing

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ask-the-phan-site · 5 years

Text

Phan Cam: Talents

WARNING: This post may be a bit long.

>Wednesday.

>The fishing pond in Ichigaya.

This is the riverside Where lowlifes gather The ones stuck here All have foul mouths

Success is hidden behind the clouds here Our future and the sky are both gray

The air's dirty The water's just as bad My asthma's worse I'm feeling weak

A place even God wants to leave An experience I can see Only with my eyes

Can't live luxuriously It's choking me But it's my home

I won't give up, but I'll shout my name I made up my mind

So, what do ya think of my rhymes?

Uh... This isn’t technically a river. It’s a fishing pond.

Well, at least you’re honest.

>Miki Makimura, the proclaimed Witch of Track and Field from Kamigaku High School and a member of her school’s Women’s Stride Club, only came here to do some fishing. She and her team were in the city for the E.O.S. While she was here, she ran into Panther, Shiho, Rise, Nanako, Gwen, Kamala, Chloe, Iso, and (coincidentally) Becky. While they were fishing, these young men showed up, rapping, and getting in the girls’ way.

I doubt honesty is going to help right now.

Miki: Why are you here, Wamu? Did you come all the way here from our hometown just to see me?

Wamu: I needed an honest opinion and you were the first one that came to mind.

That, and we’re entering the Open Mike Nite at Dream FES.

And Kukun was starting to miss Miko Kuroda.

Kukun: ... Can we please call her by her real name?

(just shakes his head)

(does the same)

Still, it’s a good song. Now if you please, we’re busy. So can you please leave?

Wamu: Why? We still have some time before the show. Why don’t we have some fun?

(whispering to Gwen) Any ideas?

(whispering) We already outnumber them. Maybe we can get them to back off... But no using our powers.

(also whispering) That could be difficult. (begins nodding to Nanako)

... That man with the hat and necklace... Sounds like Big Bro.

I don’t think so. Senpai is a much better gentleman than this clown.

Wamu: Now I’m just hurt. Especially hearing it from Risette.

Is this guy just begging for it?

Wamu: Come on, I think we’re going to have a fine time.

>This is starting to look bad.

?????: Excuse me! I think they don’t want to spend time with you.

>They quickly turn to see the new comer at the pond.

Wamu: (unimpressed) Oh great, it’s the mermaid.

That’s right! The Mermaid from the Great Sea! ... And the Spider Queen!

Wamu’s gang: (except Kukun) Huh?

>Then, someone comes down from the fishing shop’s roof and grabs Wamu’s neck.

Kakun: Miki, wait!

>Quickly, she let’s go of Wamu’s neck.

Sorry. I guess I got caught in the moment.

Miki: Hey, Miko. You brought Akira.

Miko (real name: Miki): Picked him up from the train station as promised. Your family is here, too.

Miki: That’s great, thank you.

Miko: Good. And as for you boys...

Wamu: (clearly scared, but not showing it) Tch! Whatever. C’mon, guys, let’s grab a bite before the show.

Kukun: See you, tonight, Miki.

Miko: Looking forward to it, Mayuta.

>With that, Wamu and his gang leave while rapping. Me, Fox, Skull, Diego, Yu, Yosuke, and Teddie pass them as we come in.

Are you girls alright?

Panther: We’re fine.

I can’t believe they would gang up on girls just enjoying their day.

I agree. It’s so brave of Lady Ann to stand up to them like that.

Thanks.

Am I even going to ask why you’re wearing that, Teddie? It’s like 90 degrees out, and it’s almost night.

Teddie: Because the ladies just love the original Teddie. And it’s part of my act tonight. I’m the Singing and Dancing Magician. A 1... A 2... And a...

3!!!

Akira: That’s amazing! I applaud you!

Nanako: (also happy) I liked that, too.

Iso: (confused) Umm, he just jumped out his costume. Not really magic.

For Nanako, it might be.

I’m bearly happy to hear that from you, Sensei. And especially from you, too, Nana chan.

Diego: (unimpressed) Kiss up.

Anyway, we came to see if you’re ready. They want us for one last rehearsal before the show.

Miki: The show? You’re in the Open Mike Nite?

A lot of us are. I know I’m already a member of KUROFUNE, but one of the performances my friends are about to do still need me.

Becky: I see...

Just hope you remember your summer homework.

Could you not remind us. ‘Sides, I already finished mine.

You have!? You!? Ryuji Sakamoto!?

Skull: Well, Harry and Peter helped.

Becky: (actually relieved) Oh, I see.

Joker: Anyway, we should get going. Everyone’s waiting for us.

Panther: Hold on, I just cast my line. I’ll just-

>Suddenly, Panther’s fishing line started moving.

Panther: Looks like I just got something!

>We quickly helped Panther reel something out of the water... It was an old shopping cart.

Yikes!

Shiho: Guess that Wamu guy was right about one thing. This water isn’t exactly taken care of.

>So, we leave... I actually saw what happened... What the Miko girl did... I think about what happened earlier.

>Flashback...

>Me, Fox, Skull, and Diego were just exploring an unfamiliar part of the city our next break from Dream FES. Then suddenly, we heard something running. It sounded close. Curious, we just hid and saw what was running... It was Moyuru Koda. He was running real fast like an animal... Even the way he ran seemed inhuman. Then, he stopped.

Junichi, hurry up! We have to find it!

>Then, his boyfriend, Junichi Kotoba, finally caught up to him.

Slow down, Moyuru! I know you’re in a hurry, but it’s not going anywhere.

Koda: Sorry. It’s just- AHH!

>Koda quickly clutches his chest in pain.

Koda: It’s... It’s getting worse. We have to find it... Now!

Junichi: Koda, please. I’m sure it’s somewhere here. We looked it up in the directory.

Koda: But... Junichi... AHH!

>Koda was now really holding himself real tight.

Junichi: Moyuru?

Koda: Junichi... RUN!

>Junichi backs off as, to our horror... Koda’s shirt explodes away... To show a mouth.

WARNING: This next scene might be a little too much. But please don’t flag it.

Junichi: I’m not leaving you!

>Then, Koda changes.

>Junichi, however, refused to run. The thing that Koda turned into was now charging at him... But then he stopped. Junichi noticed that he was touching a some fence. Then, Koda changes back into a human.

Wh- What just...

>Junichi looks at the fence he just touched. Koda looked and saw an opening. They both look inside.

Koda: (in relief) We... We did it. We found it.

I know that place. I think I see it sometimes when I’m walking around the city for inspiration.

Skull: (a bit confused) Huh? What are you talkin’ about, Fox? I don’t see...

What the eff! A building just appeared in that lot!

>It is then, Koda and Junichi heard us.

Koda: What!?

Junichi: How did you...

???? and ????: Please, don’t get upset!

>We look to see the voice came from the building.

Diego: (a bit surprised) Yikes! Those two seem familiar.

>No doubt about it. These two young girls remind of Lavenza when she got split and became Caroline and Justine.

Blue-haired girl: (surprised) Oh my, you’re naked!

Pink-haired girl: (also surprised) You’re naked!

Koda: (realizing) Oh!

Junichi: Hold on, I have your spare clothes.

>After quickly getting dressed, Koda and Junichi follow the girls inside.

Blue-haired girl: You have to come in, too.

Pink-haired girl: You come in, too.

Us?

????????: Is there anyone else around?

>As if they I was under a spell, I do what the twins say. My friends fallow. Inside, there are two more inside... I was surprised to see who they are.

Bet you thought you saw the last of us, didn’t you, Inmate?

It would seem that way.

You... Split again.

Blue-haired girl: (angry) Hey, you’re twins again because we’re here, aren’t you!?

Pink-haired girl: (also angry) Not cool.

Caroline: Sorry if we just wanted to have a little fun.

Justine: All joking aside...

>In a flash of light, the Velvet Twins were one again.

I’m here because the owner of this shop asked me to come.

Joker: The owner?

????????: She is talking about me.

>The two girls then open a door. We go inside.

Koda: Are... Are you the owner?

Man in kimono: I am. I am aware that you came here seeking me.

Koda: And you know why?

Man in kimono: From what Maru and Moro just saw, yes.

Koda: Then, can you help us? I’m sure that if anyone came at least control this... demon, you can.

Man in kimono: That depends. When people find this store, they think it is just a coincidence. However, there is no such thing as coincidences in this world. Only inevitably. You managed to find this shop... Because you have a wish that you really need to be granted... And I believe it has something to do with these four. That’s why Lavenza is here.

Joker: What do you mean?

Man in kimono: ... Tell me, what are your names?

Koda: You don’t know who I am? Or him? (points thumb at Skull)

Man in kimono: ... I don’t get out much.

Koda: ... Moyuru Koda.

Junichi: Junichi Kotoba.

Joker: Ren Amamiya.

Fox: Yusuke Kitagawa.

Skull: Ryuji Sakamoto.

Diego: Diego Mercury.

Man in kimono: (smiling) Diego Mercury... That’s not your real name.

Diego: Try to understand. There’s reason to why I use it.

Man in kimono: (still smiling) Very well. I shall respect it.

Joker: And what about you?

Man in kimono: ... Kimihiro Watanuki... And before you say anything, yes, my name means April 1, my birthday.

I see.

Watanuki: Koda, you came because you wish for me to remove the demon you have merged with.

Koda: Can you?

Watanuki: Perhaps. But you should know, I require compensation. No wish is free.

Koda: We’ll pay you any price if it means things will go back to the way they were... Hold on, I think I left my wallet outside.

Watanuki: I’m afraid money will not be needed. In this shop, the price must be of equal value. Something that you have that you love just as much as you wish for. (draws closer to Koda) What is it that you value more?

>As if to answer, Koda’s eyes... Turn to Junichi.

Watanuki: I see.

Koda: I love Junichi. More than anything... But can I really give it up for just one wish? The real reason for this is so I can be with him. To be with him, but gone...

Watanuki: The decision is only yours to make. If you are truly unsure... I shall give you time to think of it.

Skull: I still don’t know why we’re here. How do you even know Lavenza?

Lavenza: My master was good friends with the previous owner of this shop.

>She turns us to a portrait on the wall.

Lavenza: To many, she was the Space Time Witch, but to those who knew her, she was Yuuko Ichihara... Which is not her real name.

Fox: That does answer one question.

Watanuki: You four are here because I sensed that these two will need you in the future... And not just him.

Joker: What do you mean?

Watanuki: There are two others... Miki Kuroda and Akira Fudo.

Koda: I know those two. They go to Kamigaku High School and they’re members of the track team. What do they have to do with all this?

Watanuki: ... I have already told you all that I know. What lies after that is beyond even my powers.

Lavenza: Yes. The only person who would know is my master, the contract has already been fulfilled.

And he may not come back until Persona 6... If ATLUS decides to make it.

Koda: I see... I think.

Watanuki: The offer for the wish will stand until you make a decision. When you are ready, you know where to find me.

>Koda and Junichi nod.

Watanuki: And the four of you and your friends will make sure to keep an eye on them as well.

Joker: Us?

Lavenza: That is probably why I came. Because in case something happens...

The Trickster might be needed.

I understand.

>Koda and Junichi just stare... Then they realized something.

>We were now at the front door when they stopped us.

Koda: Hey!

Skull: What is it?

Koda: It’s... It’s about what you just saw and what you’ve been told...

Joker: It’s a secret. Don’t worry... We happen to have a secret of our own, so rest assure that it’ll be safe.

Koda: You’re secret? ... You mean that you guys are the Phantom Thieves?

What!?

Oh my!

Holy shit!

Diego: How did you know?

>Koda and Junichi just stare past us to Lavenza.

Koda: Call it a hunch.

Junichi: Then it’s a deal, we won’t tell your secret if you don’t tell ours.

Joker: ...

Sure, we’re down with that.

>The others agreed.

Koda: Really? That’s... That’s a calm way of agreeing.

Joker: I can sense that the love you two have is true and I know you don’t want to see it die. I know. Me and Yusuke are like that, too.

Fox: That’s true. (smiles a bit)

Joker: I know that you are a demon... But you have the heart of a human. That’s a rare sight. Usually the demons we face are... Difficult. But you’re different, Koda san. Be happy for that. I think it’s your love for Junichi that’s helping you now.

Koda: (unsure) Really? Last I checked, he lost a leg because of me.

>Junichi rolls up his pant sleeve to show a prosthetic leg.

Junichi: But I’m still a member of our track team. I finished my physical therapy with Moyuru’s help. Now I’m a running again, even though I was made the starter. But I don’t blame him for this. There were a lot of demons that appeared at the Black Sabbath. For all we know, anyone of them could have taken my leg and not Moyuru.

Koda: And what about that time I was unfaithful to you after? That guy is now in the hospital because of me.

Diego: What do you mean?

Koda: I overheard you talking with Black Panther and Thor. They probably told you about what happened a couple months ago. A gay prostitute was found with hug bite marks on his back in a hotel... That was me. I did that.

Joker: You did?

Koda: Don’t worry, he survived, but the sight of me turning into a demon turned his hair white from shock and now he’s in a vegetative state. They think it was an Inhuman. But I know the truth. I did that to him. Not because I’m an Inhuman... But because I’m a demon.

Joker: How do you know?

Koda: I was there when the Terrigen Mist came to Japan. I was exposed, but nothing happened. In fact, I didn’t become a demon until that night at the Sabbath while we were in America. And they just wrote that off as just things getting out of hand due to drugs.

Joker: I guess that’s good... Sort of.

Koda: Either way, I’m just thinking you need to be careful. There might come a day...

I’m sure it won’t come. Don’t worry.

>Koda gets closer to get a better look at me.

Koda: You don’t seem like the kind of person who would lie... So yeah, I guess... Thanks. I owe you.

>Koda has trust in me. And I can trust him with our secret.

I am thou, thou art I… Thou hast acquired a new vow.

It shall become the wings of rebellion that breaketh they chains of captivity.

With the birth of Balance Persona, I have obtained the winds of blessing that shall lead to freedom and new power…

Confidant: Moyuru Koda

Arcana: Balance (This Arcana is made up for this Confidant.)

Rank: 1

Ability: Kawa

Allows you to visit Kawa High School, but only on days when Koda has practice.

>Skull’s phone rings. He checks it.

Skull: It’s a text from Keigo. He says they need us there for one last rehearsal before the show.

Junichi: Then I guest we should go.

Skull: Are you guys also in the Open Mike Nite?

Koda: Yeah, we already paid to use the Dream FES System. We’re doing a cover of one of DearDream’s songs.

Diego: I see.

Junichi: Are you guys entering, too? I know Ryuji san is already with KUROFUNE, but it never hurts to perform with your friends.

Skull: That’s right. We’re just performing a few song from Dancing in Starlight.

Diego: That reminds me, we promised we’d take the girls to the stadium on the way.

Joker: Yeah, Makoto, Haru, Futaba, and Akechi should be there by now. And the others. Yu, Yosuke, and Teddie said they would go to the fishing pond to get the girls with us.

Koda: We should go there, too. You go to your other friends.

Joker: Right. See you soon.

>With that, we leave the store. Koda and Junichi leave for Ikebukuro.

Skull: I still wish I knew how I couldn’t see that place at first.

Lavenza: You couldn’t see the shop because you have no need for it. However, your leader, in a way, does. And because you have such a strong bond with him, that allowed you to see it.

Skull: Really?

Fox: That would explain it...

Wait. Does this mean I have a wish that needs granting!?

Diego: And me?

Lavenza: ... You should hurry.

>She points to... A young strong woman and a skinny young man walking along. I recognize one of them.

Miko: Well it has to be here somewhere, Miki texted me.

Akira: I’m sure we’ll find it. There aren’t that many fishing ponds in this city.

Miko: I’m sure you’re right, Fudo. But it’s not like... Hold on.

>Miko listens carefully... Rapping and beat boxing.

Miko: Over there.

>She runs in the direction of the rapping... In the same manner as Koda did.

Akira: Hold on, I’m coming! (runs after her)

Diego: Isn’t that... The people Watanuki talked to us about?

Joker: Right, let’s go.

>We chase after them.

>End of flashback.

>The Dream FES stadium was filling up with people who will either be watching the Open Mike or entering.

>Backstage in the dressing room.

Alright! Is everyone ready?

Panther: Where is everyone else?

Skull: Yuto and Keigo don’t have to perform tonight, so they’ll be watchin’ from the VIP seats with the other idols and our royal guests. Harry, Peter, and the others are with them.

Where’s Kasumi chan?

Joker: She and her gymnastic club have their own act. She with them in another dressing room. As are Yu, Yosuke, and Teddie, and the other people performing. They have their own dressing rooms.

Queen: I see. I hope we see them, soon. I wonder what they’ve got in store.

I guess we’ll know soon.

Alright then, let’s get to it.

Everybody in?

Ready as we’ll ever be.

Diego: (looking a little down) Why don’t I like the sound of that?

>On stage, the MC comes.

Good evening, Tokyo! The Dream Festival proudly presents the Open Mike Nite! Now it’s your turn to shine tonight. We’ve got a fine line up for you. As always, I’m your MC. Joining me tonight to host with me are legendary idols. Give it up for Haruto Mikami, Rise Kujikawa, and Blue Rose!

>The crowd applauded.

Welcome, everyone, to Dream FES’s First Annual Open Mike Nite!

It may not be a contest this time, but we’ll tell you just how great you are at performing!

(sorry, but it should be small enough, so don’t flag) This Festival of Dreams will show all light. Now let’s get together and shine though the night!

MC: So true! Now, let’s move on with our first act. They came from the west, their rapping supreme. Just a few words to just make you scream! Ladies and gentlemen, Wamu and the Gang!

>Wamu and his gang come on stage.

Wamu: Alright, Tokyo, get ready for the power of our rhymes! Our rhymes speak only the truth! Now, world, prepare!

>Wamu and his gang begin their rapping. After they finished, people applauded... Though, a little shaken by the words in their song.

Wamu: This next one is made by Kukun.

Kukun: This next song goes out to a very special lady. I’m sure she’ll like it.

>In the audience, Miko was intrigued... A memory washes over her... That day at the snapdragon garden.

DISCLAIMER: The following song belongs to its creator. Devilman Crybaby is the property of Go Nagai and Netflix. Please support the official release.

youtube

MC’s voice: That... Was... Super!

>Miko snaps back to the present.

MC: So, judges, what do you think?

Haruto: That first rap definitely speaks the truth. Our world may not be perfect, but it’s our job to change all that.

Rise: We have the Phantom Thieves to tell us that. And that second rap... That sounds more like a confession. Kukun, Mayuta, or whoever you wish to be called, you must really like this person.

Kukun: ... More than you know.

Blue Rose: That’s actually quite sweet of you. Just remember, sometimes, reality can be more painful. But don’t give up... I know I learned to live with such things.

Wamu: You mean with Wild-

Blue Rose: (quickly and angrily) Moving on! Next act.

MC: Out next performers made their first show at LMB. Now they’re here for all to see. Here to dance all night to the day. Give it up for Yu and Yosuke!

>Yu and Yosuke come on stage.

Yosuke: Don’t go easy on us just because we’re friends, Rise chan!

Rise: Don’t worry, Yosuke senpai, I’ll be as brutal as you want me to be... I’ll even put on a black shirt and start talking in a snobby British accent.

>No one could help but laugh at that joke.

Haruto: Now I believe you signed up to use the System. So everyone, ready your Dorika!

Yu: We actually have a surprise for you. For this year only, we have a new Dorika for you all!

>In the audience with Kagami Tsurugi and her party... Which at the moment consists of herself, young fashionista, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, her friend, Alya Cesaire, and their other friends, Mylene Haprele, Alix Kubdel, Nathaniel Kurtzberg, Marc Anciel, Le Chien Kim, and Max Kante.

A new card?

>They searched the deck. They found it.

Tatsumi E.?

Yu: It’s short for Tatsumi Empire. Another up and coming designer like yourself. Ladies and gentlemen, for this one night only to debut his design, let’s welcome the creator of Tatsumi Empire, Kanji Tatsumi!

>Everyone applauded as a reluctant Kanji Tatsumi comes on stage.

Uh... Hi... I’m Kanji... And these are my... Designs.

Yosuke: (laughing a bit) C’mon, Kanji, that’s all you have to say?

Kanji: Sh- Shut up! I can say more. You’ll love my clothes! They’re super cool and really cute... They’ll give you diabetes!

Haruto: (a little confused) I’m not sure if that’s how the saying goes, but still I’m sure we’ll love it. Shall we?

Yu and Yosuke: Yes, let’s do it! Together!

Dorika Time!

Catch Your Cheers!

Yu: Behold, the truth!

Catch Your Cheers!

Yosuke: Now’s our chance! You ready?

Dancing All Night Series! Complete!

>Yu and Yosuke perform Backside of the TV (Lotus Juice Remix). It was one of the best performances the crowd has ever seen.

MC: That was a really awesome show, you two! I’d say you’d even give KUROFUNE a run for their money.

Yu: Not really. We’re just amateurs.

Haruto: Still, you two are such great talents. If you ever get tired of the physiology game or Junes, we have a place for you at D-Four.

Rise: Sorry, Haruto san, but my senpai are already spoken for by Takura.

Blue Rose: I don’t think it would matter... They could start their own productions if they wanted to.

Yosuke: Thanks, Blue Rose san, guess I know what I’m doing after college.

MC: And how is college coming along, Yosuke san?

Yosuke: ...

MC: Oops, that’s a little personal, so I’ll stop right there.

Yu: Anyway, thank you for seeing us tonight! Enjoy the rest of the show!

Yosuke: A- And don’t forget, the outfits we used are from Tatsumi Empire!

>They leave the stage.

MC: Are next act is also from the sticks. He claims to have some tricks. I hope you all are beary ready. Here he is, the Dancing Magician, Teddie!

>Teddie rolls on stage.

This performance goes out to all you lovely ladies out there. Now, my honeys, you Teddie Bear will now enter your hearts. Bring on the music!

>Teddie performs Likea Dream come True (Never More ver.).

And bear you have it.

MC: That was... Not like anything I’ve ever seen.

Rise: (unimpressed) Are you kidding? All he did was jump out of his suit.

Blue Rose: I agree. Anybody can do that.

Teddie: (unhappy) I’m hurt, Rise chan!

Haruto: But you have to admit, I can feel the energy from your dance. You should be happy about that.

Teddie: (cheered up a bit) Thank you, Haruto. You’re almost as generous as Sensei.

Haruto: You’re welcome... I think.

>Teddie leaves.

MC: Our next performers maybe strange, but they hope to fill the world with change. They maybe Inhumans and have powers, but tonight is their finest hour. Give it up for The Atyran Experience!

>With that, Haechi, Iso, Jaycen, Inferno, Chloe, and, to our surprise, Ms. Marvel, come on stage.

(vocals) I still can’t believe we let you talk us into this.

(drums) Come on, I think this might help with our relationship with the rest of the world.

Chloe: (keyboard) He’s right. And what could help with stuff like that than with music?

Iso: (guitar) You say that, but will it really work?

(also on guitar) It has to. Dante and Chloe had us work so hard.

(bass) Hope you’re right.

Haechi: (sighs in defeat) Fine. But don’t blame me if we screw up.

Chloe: That’s the spirit.

Inferno: We are The Atyran Experience and we’re here to foster peace between humans and Inhumans! 1! 2! 3! 4!

>The band begins playing. They’re not so bad. They even worked their powers in the act. At first, the audience, except for the Inhuman Royal Family, all our our friends, Chloe’s friends, Miki, Akira, Miko, Miki’s family, Phoebe, Coop, and the Tsurugi party, cheered little. But as the song went on, their cheers became more and louder. Then they finished. The whole crowd was applauding.

MC: That was The Atyran Experience, ladies and gentlemen!

Inferno: Sorry that this is the only song we know. We kinda came up with this on the fly.

Haurto: I see. You must be quite the genius to think of something like this on the go.

Inferno: I just have experience. I’ve played drums before.

Blue Rose: Experience can only get you so far. After that, you need skills. Then again, it really worked for Wild Tiger.

Rise: That’s right. Now he’s living a happy life with his husband.

Inferno: That’s good to hear... Though I doubt I’ll find my soulmate so soon.

Haechi: (now feeling real awkward) Can we finish this?

Rise: Anyways, you all did wonderful.

>With that, they leave.

MC: For our next act, he’ll get us fallin’ in love. Like stars, she shines above. Let’s now begin the show. Give a great welcome to DJ Nino!

>The audience applauded as Nino Lahiffe comes on stage.

For this performance, I asked my main boi to perform the dancing part of it. Let’s hear it for Adrien Agreste!

>The audience (especially the girls) cheered as Adrien Agreste comes on stage.

I guess I’m up for it. The question is... Who am I dancing with?

Nino: I’ve already figured that... It’s the cure girl the pigtails between Alya and Kagami.

Marinette: (freaking out) What!? Oh my! Oh my! Oh my!

I’m going to have to talk to Nino later.

>Marinette reluctantly gets on stage.

Nino: Alright, now that that’s done, let’s kick this party into overdrive!

>Nino performs DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love with Marinette and Adrien dancing together. When they were done, the audience really cheered.

Haruto: Now they look like such a great couple.

Rise: 可愛い！Just like me and Senpai!

Blue Rose: They do make such a good team... Just like Ladybug and Cat Noir.

>Marinette and Adrien are just left silent. She returns to her seat.

MC: Our next performance, Adrien is in it. They have name that can get you to dig it. They came from Paris, France. Let their song really get you to dance. Kitty Section!1

Rose Lavillant: Evening everyone, our name is Kitty Section!

Go for it, Kitty Section! You’ve got this in the bag!

Remember, Kim, this isn’t a contest.

I love you, Ivan!

Marc: I’m really looking forward to this.

Nathaniel: So am I... I wonder if I should ask Blue Rose to tell Origami Cyclone I said hi.

Rose: Let’s start the show! One, two three!

>Kitty Section with Adrien play I Love Unicorns (2.0).

MC: That was Kitty Section! Now let’s see what our idols have to say.

Haruto: I think it was great. You don’t see something like this with just any rock group. You guys have a style on your own.

Luka Couffaine: You actually have Marinette to thank for that. She designs our costumes.

>A spot light shines on Marinette. She blushes.

Juleka Couffaine: Yeah, they’re so awesome.

Ivan Bruel: Real awesome.

Rose: We’re Kitty Section!

Kitty Section: Thank you and good night!

>The crowd cheered as they left and the MC returns.

MC: The next up is Inhuman, too. But his time with us ain’t through.

>The next act comes up.

Diego: Hey Joker, it’s that bouncer we see in Shibuya sometimes. I didn’t know he was an Inhuman.

MC: I didn’t know you were an Inhuman. And you work as a bouncer in Shibuya.

Bouncer: You’d be surprised by what you learn about me.

>Then, a third eye opens on the bouncer’s forehead. Then, he shout some light out of it and a sculpture of a building appeared where it hit. He hits it again and it disappears.

Bouncer: Relax, that only happens on stuff my third eye creates. If I use it on anything or anyone else, nothing will happen.

MC: That’s good to hear.

Bouncer: But here’s someone I didn’t create. He offered to help with my performance. He’ll be DJing my act.

MC: Really? Who would that be?

????????: That would be yours truly.

>The crowd was shocked to see who just appeared.

Bet you didn’t know that apart from being a superhero, I’m also a great DJ... Almost as great as Nino.

Alya: (whispering, but now real upset) Now I’m really going to have a word with him later.

Bouncer: Now, let’s get this show on the road!

>With that, the bouncer and Carapace perform Heartless. The bouncer uses his power to add visuals. The audience was amazed.

MC: Spectacular! Really Spectacular!

Haruto: I must say, I’m impressed. The Atryan Experience used their powers in their act, and so did you.

Rise: That’s true. You made us feel like we were actually inside the song.

Blue Rose: I know I’ve used my powers in my shows, too, but this is just one of the greatest I have ever seen. Have you tried going to Sterbild to join Hero TV?

Bouncer: There’s just a couple of things wrong with that. First, I’m not a NEXT, I’m an Inhuman. And second, I don’t think the other Inhumans would be happy about that.

I do not see any harm in it. Though, we will have to see if you will be safe there. What do you think, Blackbolt?

(just nods, he agrees)

Bouncer: Well, that’s my show. Thank you, Tokyo!

>The bouncer and Carapace get off stage.

MC: Are next performers are from Neo Yokio. Think we should give them a go? They’ll give you glamour and all that jazz. Let’s give a welcome to Arcangelo and Kaz!

>The crowd cheered as the two Neo Yokioians came on stage.

Now this is just a great turn out. Is that right, Kaz Kaan?

Yeah... (whisper) Why am I up here with you?

Arcangelo Corelli: Because Aunt Agatha said so.

Kaz Kaan: (melancholy as usual) Right. I can’t believe I’m doing this... Did Charles tell you that story he told me on Christmas?

Arcangelo Corelli: ... Maybe. (smiling) Now, shall we (you pink-haired prince)?

>Kaz Kaan just grimaces, but agrees. They begin performing Friend Like U.

NOTE: This song was made originally for Christmas. So some of the lyric have been altered for Dream FES. Example: “I’m only rappin’ for you ‘cause it’s Christmas” will sound like “I’m only rappin’ for you ‘cause it’s Dream FES”.

>After the song, the crowd cheered. Mostly the girls for Arcangelo Corelli. Not that there weren’t any for Kaz Kaan.

Blue Rose: You two are suppose to be from an alternate version of the city I’m from, right?

Arcangelo Corelli: Neo Yokio may not be a city of heroes, but we are a city of glory.

Haruto: Seems like it. You guys have a flare that just won’t go out. I admire that.

Rise: But sometimes, it doesn’t take much to fall from glory. Just watch your step.

Kaz Kaan: That’s sound advice... (whispers to himself) Kind of reminds me of Helena.

MC: Anyway, let’s thank Arcangelo and Kaz for joining us here tonight!

>The audience applauded as they leave the stage.

MC: The next act are by locals, but their skill are just beyond. Though one of them’s already with KUROFUNE, they have a strong bond. These guys are just without end. Please welcome, Ryuji and friends!

>The crowd goes wild as we come on stage.

Skull: Good evenin’, Tokyo! How you all doin’?

>They cheer.

Skull: Though I’m already with KUROFUNE, it never hurts to perform on stage with your friends, right?

Joker: I’m just happy to be here tonight.

Fox: I’m more of an artist, but for tonight and for my friends, I am willing to dance!

Diego: Time to shine and light the stage!

Crow: As am I!

MC: I see even the Detective Prince wants in on the action.

Crow: Just something I do on the side. Ryuji san is my best friend after all.

You know it, buddy!

Indeed, I do.

MC: Now from what I’ve heard, you will be using the Dream FES System.

Diego: Except for me and Akechi. We’re good as is.

MC: I see. Performing with people who are using the system, how bold. So, shall we get this show started?

>The crowd cheered.

Then let us begin!

Tonight, we’ll show Life Will Change!

Dorika Time!

>In the VIP seats.

Hey look, new cards have been added. Look.

NOTE: I apologize for the use of the ATLUS logo. They are the original creators of the clothes.

This looks cool.

These look just like the ones they wore in the original Dancing in Starlight videos.

I think that’s the point.

Clever.

A little over used, but okay.

I think they’re good. Can’t really beat the classics.

You sound like my dad. But it’s not far off.

I think I’m starting to understand why Stark is interested in the Dream Festival System. There’s almost no limit to this.

Just try not to go over board over it. Remember the conversation?

>Harry, Alistaire, and John all blush.

Ollie, there’s a time and place for everything. This is not one of them.

Ollie: (surprised) Oh, I’m sorry.

What do you mean?

I’ll tell you later.

>Then, Aleksei walks up to Flash and, to everyone’s shock, lifts him by the shirt.

Now, Friend Flash, I’m sure the last thing you want is to embarrass your friends by revealing their secrets for everyone to hear. And I’m sure you wouldn’t like your secrets to be revealed. Would you?

Flash: (a little shaken) N- No.

Aleksei: And I’m sure you wouldn’t want to see me upset about seeming friends embarrassed. Because if you think the Hulk’s temper is bad... Do you want to see what happens when you anger a rhino?

Flash: N- No.

Aleksei: Then, what are we going to do?

Flash: Keep it quiet.

Aleksei: (putting flash back down) Very good.

Flash: (thinking to himself) Damn Russian Rhino.

Harry: Wow, Aleksei, I didn’t know-

Aleksei: (worried) Oh no, we better hurry. Dorika Time is almost over.

Harry: Never mind.

Is he always like this?

Peter: Depends on the situation.

>They load the cards and launch the cards in the air and at the stage.

Catch Your Cheers!

Skull: Ima gonna charge into your hearts!

Catch Your Cheers!

Joker: I seek the Treasure within!

Catch Your Cheers!

Fox: The beauty of tonight will show!

(Reminder: The following images are not in violation of the Tumblr policy as they do not actually contain sensitive or adult contain. They only show the upper half. Please do not flag.)

Dancing in Starlight Series! Complete!

(I also apologize for the transformation end scene. Still not a good artist.)

>We perform Life Will Change. We reworked it so that Diego, who is in human form, and Crow can dancing too. This includes recording the song ahead of time since we usually play the song live (with me on guitar and vocals, Fox on bass, Skull on drums, and Diego on keyboard)... Well, I warned them about my singing.

MC: (after we finsihed our song and he is surprised) Wow! They weren’t kidding when they told you you sound like Lyn Inaizumi! How is that even possible!

Ask ATLUS.

Haruto: Actually, we can work on that. If you ever get tired of the barista game, you might have a place with us at D-Four. Especially if Ryuji san makes it into the Top Three.

I’ll think about it.

Fox: Actually, I’d rather work on the art of the CD. I actually have a few ideas.

Blue Rose: I’m sure you do. Actually, I’m about to release a new CD soon and we could use an artist of your talent.

Fox: I’ll be sure to consider it.

Rise: And Diego, that move just now... Just like a cat and not like some bear I know.

Teddie’s voice from backstage: Teddie discrimination isn’t cool at all!

Haruto: Anyway, I”m starting to think why Harry Osborn considered you as an idol. You might even make it to the Top Three. Good luck, Ryuji san!

I won’t let you down, Haruto san! And that goes double for KUROFUNE and my friends and family!

We love you, Ryu kun!

Skull: I keep saying...

Ah, screw it! I love you too, Mom!

I think you’ve finally made him like the pet name.

Mrs. Sakamoto: He already did. (makes a satisfied smile)

Skull: Alright, MC, our other friends are here, too. give ‘em great intro.

>We got off stage.

MC: Alright, Ryuji, I’ll welcome the girls. Their song will reach the whole world. Their appearance alone is just what we all prize. Here they come, Last Surprise!

>Everyone, mostly the men, cheered as Panther, Queen, Oracle, and Noir came on stage.

This next song is where we got our name.

It’s fitting since we are unpredictable.

Don’t bother getting ready for us.

Because nothing can prepare you for what we have in store.

Panther, Queen, Oracle, and Noir: You’ll never see it coming!

>With that, they perform Last Surprise. Good thing they’re using their regular Dancing in Starlight costumes. The press would have a field day and the men would lose themselves in their other outfits.

Rise: Amazing! Makes me wish me and my girlfriends did that in LMB.

Oracle: Maybe the next time we meet. We might set up something at our school.

(from here seat) Why me?

Well, at least things won’t be dull.

Blue Rose: Actually, I should get my own girlfriends to try a show with me. Since Kotetsu and Barnaby have their hands full these days.

Rise: Will Dragon Kid be alright with that?

Haruto: She will if you tell her that it’s for training.

Blue Rose: I’ll have to think about it. Anyway, you all did a wonderful show. I hope to see you perform again soon.

>The girls bow happily and leave the stage... They walk past Koda and Junichi.

Junichi: Are you ready? We’re next.

Koda: (worried) A little.

Junichi: (putting an arm around Koda) Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.

Koda: I know... I’m starting to wonder if I should have taken Watanuki’s offer.

Junichi: Are you? Are you going to take it?

Koda: ... I’m still thinking about it.

Junichi: Well, whatever you choose... I’ll never stop loving you.

Koda: ... I know. Thank you, Junichi.

>What they don’t know is that I watched this. I think I understand Koda a little more.

Rank Up!

Confidant: Moyuru Koda

Arcana: Balance

Rank: 2

MC’s voice: Next is the super student and his partner true. Nothing can tear these two. Give it up for Moyuru Koda and Junichi Kotoba!

Junichi: (smiling) Come on. Let’s do this.

Koda: (smiling confidently) Yes. Together.

>With that, they come on stage.

Koda: Good evening, Tokyo! Now before we begin, let me set something straight: No, we’re not exactly here for the End of Summer. I mean, we might see it, but we’re not in it. Our school doesn’t even have a Stride Club.

Junichi: We thought of starting one, but we could never find the time.

MC: Maybe you’ll have time after this. You never know.

Koda: I see. We’ll think about it. Right now, we’re here for this night. And we enter a world of dreams and light.

Junichi: I even paid on the fly that we can use the System. So we can make this night even more awesome.

Koda: You really paid a lot of money for me? That’s so sweet of you.

Junichi: Thank you.

MC: Indeed it is... Japan really needs more couples like this no matter the gender.

Koda: Now, let’s do this together!

Junichi: And together, we will purify the darkness in your hearts.

Koda: Cast out the demons that plague your minds.

Koda and Junichi: We will go forward with NEW STAR EVOLUTION!

Dorika Time!

Catch Your Cheers!

Koda: How fitting. Let’s go for it!

Junichi: Evolution is part of the future. And us!

(Reminder: The following images are not in violation of the Tumblr policy as they do not actually contain sensitive or adult contain. They only show the upper half. Please do not flag.)

>They change clothes.

Dear Future Series! Complete!

>They perform NEW STAR EVOLUTION.

MC: (after song) That was absolutely marvelous!

Haruto: That was quite the show. You should take a leap from Ryuji san and Galaxy Standard. You can be idols and athletes.

Koda: Thanks, but we should be fine. Sorry, Kanade kun.

It’s okay, Koda san. We know you have your reasons. But just in case you change your mind, give me a call. Okay?

Koda: (smiling) Yeah, I’m sure

Rise: Still, you have such talent. No wonder you’re the Super High Schooler. But you’re still you. You should be happy for that.

Koda: Yeah...

Blue Rose: And you’re in a gay relationship. That also makes you quite modern.

Junichi: Well, if Kotetsu and Barnaby can do it, so can we.

Koda: Yeah... (embraces Junichi tearfully) I love you, Junichi!

Junichi: (smliling) I love you, too, Moyuru.

>The two men kissed. The whole audience cheered wildly. They leave the stage.

MC: How beautiful. Now, for your next act...

>While the other acts were on stage, I meet up with Royal to see how her performance was coming along. I saw they has set up a huge bucket over the stage.

Joker: What’s in the bucket?

Royal: Gold glitter. We got the idea from Flashdance and Elvira. Near the end of the song, I’ll douse myself in it. It will be spectacular.

Joker: I see...

Just hope they don’t think you ripped it off.

Gymnast 1: Hey, are we ready? They’re about to call us soon.

Royal: Yes. I think we are.

Gymnast 2: Then let’s get started.

>They leave to get ready for the final act... Suddenly, I hear something above.

Joker: ?

>I look up and I’m sure I see a shadow headed for the bucket. I use my Third Eye to see what was going on. It looked like they had a hood up, so even I had trouble seeing what was under it... I see I’m not the only one who noticed.

Carapace: I see why you’re friends with Spider-Man. You’re quite the spotter.

We’re not done talking! But yeah, that looks suspicious.

Want to take a look?

>We go up. Carapace smiles as two more shadows appear.

>On stage.

MC: Our last act for the night will surly be a sight. They dancing with the rhythm is seems. Makes you feel like you’re in a dream. Let’s welcome the Shujin Gymnastic Team!

>Royal and her team come on stage.

Royal: This is the first time we’re doing something like this. We hope you will enjoy it.

>With that, they perform the iconic Maniac.

>On the catwalk above the stage. Me, Rena Rouge, and Carapace get close to the hooded figure. Using my Third Eye again, I finally see who it is.

Call me a boy, would you!? You’re lucky I can’t chop you down because then that bleached bitch and that crap Canadian will come after me. So I’ll take a leap from the Elvira movie you talked about.

>Roxie Ritcher, the artist/half ninja and Ramona Flowers’s 4th Evil Ex, was also holding a bucket of what was unmistakably tar and feathered pillows. We step in.

Rena Rouge: Don’t even think about it, Ritcher!

Roxie: Back off, Volpina! You, Shell Shocker, and this geek who could pass off as a Japanese version of Gideon have nothing to do with this.

Rena Rouge: That’s Rena Rouge! I’m not Layla!

Carapace: See, this is what I was going to say. I got a message from an anonymous source that there was going to be trouble here at Dream FES. Guess they were right.

Roxie: Well, it doesn’t matter. Unlike the last time... I didn’t come alone.

>Suddenly, someone rushes between us.

やめて、パンク！近づかないでください！

>Rena Rouge gets out her flute, Carapace takes his shield, and I draw my gun.

????: The flute and shield we can buy, but a model gun that only shoots pellets is useless.

???: True. But I guess you work with what you can. I fear what is becoming of our country.

>The two more people come in.

Kyle: Normally, we don’t fight on our own.

Ken: We let a robot do that.

Roxie: (upset.. er) Yeah, well normally, I don’t rely on men for help! But you were the only ones available in my contacts.

Kyle: ... I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.

Carapace: Good... Because we’d like to introduce you to our own back up.

>Suddenly, two more people swoop down and take out the ninja.

Roxie: Great, now we have to deal with the bug and the cat.

>The two figures show themselves.

More like spider and bird.

Yeah, those two may be Paris’s greatest heroes, but we’re Earth’s mightiest heroes.

>Both Roxie and the K. Twins back off.

Roxie: I only wanted to teach that Yoshizawa bitch a lesson because she mistook me for a boy and humiliated me in the middle of Kichijoji. I’m not giving up! I’ll get her soon enough... And you’ll see her for what she truly is.

>She was eyeing me. Then, in a puff of smoke, she was gone.

Kyle: By the way, how did you even find out about out plan?

Hawkeye: Don’t you know? We’re the Avengers. We practically know everything.

Black Widow: That, and a little thing called the Internet.

>Black Widow takes out a phone to show... that Ken had posted the plans on his blog.

Kyle: (irritated) Ken?

Ken: ... Alright, so I couldn’t help it. I really wanted to show up those damn twins from Ouran Academy.

Kyle: Well, can’t really argue with that. Very well, until we meet again.

>With that, the K. Twins leave.

Black Widow: Well, that should take care of things. Thanks, Carapace. Your skills with a shield might even rival Captain America’s.

Carapace: Really?

Black Widow: ... Not really.

Hawkeye: Stung. Though, I wish I new what she meant by what she just said.

That would be spoiling it.

Black Widow: Right, not until Halloween. Still, I think we should keep an eye out. Thank you, Carapace, Rena Rouge. As well as you, Ren Amamiya. You’re a good friend to Parker and Osborn.

>I nod and Black Widow and Hawkeye leave.

Rena Rouge: The performance is about to end. We should head back... And we still have to talk.

Carapace: I already told you. Besides, I doubt someone like Hawk Moth watches Dream FES.

Rena Rouge: We’ll see. Oh, and Ren Amamiya... I hope your friend makes it in the Top Three.

Thank you.

>With that, we leave the catwalk.

>Back on stage, Royal and her team finisher their performance with Royal dumping glitter on herself.

MC: AMAZING! Aren’t they great? Aren’t they spectacular?

>The crowd cheered loudly.

Haruto: I know it’s already been done, but they was no doubt a really great show. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

Royal: You think so?

Rise: Absolutely. If this were the Olympics, you would totally get a gold medal.

Royal: I’m sure... Just as long as we don’t end up like a certain gym teacher.

>Cricket sounds.

Royal: (turning red) I’m sorry! That was in poor taste!

Blue Rose: You just made a mistake. We all do. Still, we love your performance. Thank you.

Royal: You’re welcome, Blue Rose san!

>Royal and her team bow. Then, the MC comes back on stage.

MC: Let’s welcome back the other talents that showed up tonight, shall we?

>The audience cheered as we came on stage with the other performers of the night. We bow to them.

MC: Well, that’s our show for the night. Remember, our grand finale is this Saturday. That night, we will be holding our competition to see which Rookie Idol will make their CD debut and our final song for this year’s Dream Festival.

>The crowed went wild.

MC: Well, until then everyone, this is your MC saying thank you and goodnight!

>The audience applauded.

>We’re so close to the end... Skull, good luck, brother.

#phantom thieves cam #dream festival #dream fes

0 notes

bluboothalassophile · 7 years

Note

I LOVEEEE YOUR WORK! your writing is fantastic and I love reading it. Can I request raex where Jason is showing off Raven's scratch marks on his back. Thank you so much. ☺️☺️☺️☺️

I’m glad you enjoy the stories! =) And I hope this works for you.

Obvious…

The first time Dick saw thescratches on Jason’s back was when they were sparring, Jason had reluctantlyagreed, and it was hotter than the hinges of hell, both of them were shirtless.And that’s when Dick saw them, Jason had clobbered him hard in the jaw then andsent him reeling before he could ask about them. Though he supposed now that wasthe first obvious clue.

The mysterious scratches hadstarted about three years ago. Dick had wanted to pry into it, mostly becausehe didn’t even know what Jason did with his civilian time, however, there wasnever a chance to ask, and Jason didn’t seem to care about the scratches.

~~~*~*~*~~~

Bruce first saw the scratches amorning Jason had stayed the night and was up and cooking. Something had beenon his second son’s mind; however, Jason was mum on the subject on his mind.Bruce had never thought too much about what Jason did in his civilian time,mostly because he was afraid that by asking he would scare Jason off, and thatwas the last thing Bruce wanted.

But it didn’t stop the wellingcuriosity about what Jason did in his off time. About the person who hadinflicted those marks.

Still Bruce only made a coffee andsat at the table reading the stock reports as Jason quietly continued hiscooking.

~~~*~*~*~~~

Tim’s first encounter with Jason’smysterious scratches was when he was trying stich an impatient Jason up. Hisbrother had been shot in the back, on the way to buy supplies as a civilian ofall things. Yeah, drugged Jason was docile but the moment he sobered up hewould not be happy.

The scratches were light, variousstages of healing and Tim was curious about just what his brother did as acivilian. He didn’t get the courage to ask, for that would be too personal for Jasonand Jason was just coming around to the idea of being their brother again.

~~~*~*~*~~~

Damian had first noticed the scratcheswhen Todd was changing. They weren’t anything special, nothing he hadn’t seen ahundred different times on his father or Dick. However, considering how secretiveTodd was about his civilian time Damian was curious.

“Where’d you get those scratches?”Damian asked, his brother spared him a glance.

“Hm?”

“The scratches,” Damian repeated.

“Met a wild cat,” Todd answered andpulled a shirt on before walking away. Damian wasn’t certain if his brother wasserious or not. One thing was clear though, Todd had something going on in hiscivilian time.

~~~*~*~*~~~

Alfred first saw the scratchesabout four months before Miss Roth walked into the Manor with Damian. Jason wasnot happy about having been cornered for stitches for a knife wound on hisshoulder, however Cass and he had won and Jason had sat there scowling as hetook the stitches.

Alfred had wondered just what his elusivegrandson was up to and if the person who had left the marks was good to him.

~~~*~*~*~~~

Jason was up at the god awful hourof six in the morning after having gone to bed at about four, Raven had leftthirty minutes ago to get to an interview at seven, and she was had classes allday, and the afternoon with the Titans. Therewas a knock on his door which had him groaning.

Three months since his family hadfound out about him and Raven, and they didn’t leave them alone. Stephanie andCass had taken to coming over whenever the hell they wanted, Raven didn’t seemto mind. Tim came over every other day for lunch and shit. Damian just poppedup at random, which Jason didn’t like at all because it was like the demonspawn was purposely playing cock block when he came over. Dick popped in once aweek on his way home, and Jason wanted to punch him. And since Raven and Brucehad sorted things out between them (yeah, he didn’t get that one, but they wereapparently alright, which demolished his hope of Bruce staying away because hewas dating a demon), Bruce came over once a week also. And Al stopped bywhenever he damn well pleased (not that Jason minded that one so much).

Grumbling and rubbing his eyes hemoved to the door, not bothering with a shirt because he was too fucking tired,and it was April, and about now was when his sleep died. Yanking open his openhe fond himself glaring at Bruce and Dick.

“What?” he asked as he pinched thebridge of his nose and tried to clear his sleep addled head. Right about nowwould be a good moment to have his empath girlfriend; perhaps she could knockhim out.

“We come bearing gifts,” Dickoffered and Jason snatched the paper bag away from Dick as his brother and fatherwalked into his apartment.

“What is it?” Jason yawned as hewalked to his kitchen and put on the coffee, his back to them as he tried toclear his head of the sleep and nightmares which were starting up again. Fuckdid he hate April, he hated it. Thank god for Raven, else he’d have shatteredcompletely last year when the Joker had escaped and been prowling New York forhim, this was after an earlier encounter where Jason had almost snapped, andthe clown had almost killed him; again. Yeah, that was a real sucker punch tothe gut which had him running like a coward because he couldn’t handle it ifthe Joker killed him again. Bruce had of course caught the fucker, but Jason waspretty sure Raven had been a step away from murdering the clown for him.

That or truly making the clowninsane and unleashing all that empathetic pain she had stored up over theyears.

“Just coming to check in on you,”Dick said and Jason turned to glare at Dick, who was staring at his back.

“What!? Good fucking God! Do I havesomething on my back, a tramp stamp I don’t know about, what the fuck are youstaring at!?” he spat out as he poured himself a mug of coffee and turned toglare at Dick.

“No, just… I didn’t think Raven tobe the type to do that,” Dick chuckled.

“I know how to kill you and make itlook like an accident, Dickhead, I advise you to shut up while I’m too tired toretaliate,” he warned.

“We’re happy for you Jase,” Brucesaid calmly, sitting at his island.

“Uh-huh,” he muttered sleepily ashe sipped the Arabic brew Talia had gotten him addicted to when he’d beentraining under her supervision. The Middle East might not be his favorite placein the world, however, they knew how to do their coffee.

“Seriously, we didn’t think you hada sex life, or civilian life,” Dick said and Jason frowned as his head came uptiredly.

“And why would this be of concernto you? Either of you?” Jason asked exhaustedly and took another strong sip ofhis coffee, letting it burn his tongue.

“Because we worry about you Jason,and we want you happy,” Dick gave the gooey answer. “And I didn’t think youknew how sex worked.”

Jason snorted as he rolled hiseyes. “Please, if I told you half of what I know about sex you would run awayand become monks. And my sex life has nothing to do with either of you so buttout.”

~~~*~*~*~~~

Dick and Bruce both left Jason aboutan hour after they had arrived, when it was clear he was falling asleep andwanted to be alone.

“Well, that answers the big questionabout all the scratches he’s had over the years,” Dick mused dryly.

Bruce said nothing.

“Oh, come on, you must have beencurious to. Was it a guy? Was it a woman? Was he dating? Was he just doingrandom hook ups? And don’t deny that you were curious!” Dick accused. So muchabout Jason was a mystery that it was hard not to wonder about what his babybrother was doing. And yeah, it had crossed his mind once or twice that Jason mightbe gay, especially with some of his flippant, downright sassy replies, but atthe same time his brother was a shameless flirt with the girls so…

“I’m just happy he didn’t slam thedoor in our faces, but yes, it’s good to know he’s in a committed relationship,”Bruce said. “And it does explain the scratch marks.”

Dick smirked, oh he was going tohave so much fun being a big brother about this and tormenting Jason about it.Then again, Jason might lash out and disappear again, however, he might notstray far from Raven if what they had seen was anything to go on.

“Guess we should have known abouthim and Rae, those marks are kind of a big flashing neon sign,” Dick chuckled.

“None of us wanted to scare himaway,” Bruce pointed out dryly.

“True.”

#bluboothalassophile #fanfic #dc comics #one shot #jason todd #raven #redrae #raex #batfamily #calm in the storm

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harley-quinnn · 7 years

Text

The Doctor

Joker x Reader Masterlist

{A/N} Hey there guys, I know it's been such a long time, but I suddenly felt re-inspired last night and started writing! Your requests are all in my drafts still, and I promise I'll get to them. I've just been facing some pretty crazy times right now. I hope you enjoy! xo Harley

Warnings: None, maybe super light violence but that's about it!

The doors swing open as you enter the ward that contains the infamous duo, Joker and Harley Quinn. Papers are being pushed at you, orderly are giving you updates, and you stop just before the doors of your office.

"Thank you, but today I think I may try a different approach," you say, soft spoken and meek as always.

Every staff member in the wing knows you're the sweetest psychiatrist there is, leading no one to understand just how you've been managing a position like this at Arkham Asylum. Sure, you preach kindness and compassion being a key component to making a break through in any patient, but the rest of the staff believes quite otherwise when facing Gotham's most heartless psychopaths.

The crowd leaves you to yourself as you step past the doors into your office, gathering a small leather notebook and a black pen. You're heading to your first session of the day, and quite possibly your favorite.

Your heels clack on the tile of the poorly lit and now empty hallway, faint screams and whispering fills the air. Being used to this now, you don't bat an eye.

"Don't do it, Doctor {Y/L/N}."

This particular voice causes you to stop. Heart suddenly beating quicker, you blink a few times before taking a few steps back- now standing in front of a cell most would never dare to linger around.

"Excuse me..?" You ask, your curious {E/C} eyes scanning behind the bars and into the darkness of the room in front of you.

A small snicker comes from the cell before pale, slender hands press against the glass and slide towards the bars on the doors tiny window.

"He's not gonna love you."

You're not sure why you've even begun to entertain this conversation. But something about it made you stay.

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about.."

The blondes eyes shown clearer than normal as they caught the dim light. The alley cat grin on her washed out lips grew wider. Orderly had explained to you already, that Harley had been cooperating more than usual lately- taking her meds, eating, answering questions better than before, but still no real answers. A thought flitters across your mind as you bring your notebook down to your side.

"How are you today, Harleen?"

She scoffs, rolling her eyes. Smile still plastered on her features.

"You think it's gonna be all fun and games. That, you're gonna go in there and help him out. Escape, even," she pouts, then smiles again. "I need you to do something for me," she says, mocking his gravelly tone. "And you'll do it. 'Cause you'd do anythin' for Mistah J.."

You tense up, suddenly on guard and defensive. A lump slides down your throat as you try to swallow.

"Have you taken your medicine today? You're being absurd, Doctor Quinzel. Well, more so than usual."

Harley's eyes stay locked on yours.

"I was in your position once too, {Y/N}."

"It's Doctor {Y/L/N}, Harleen. And I haven't the slightest idea what you're going on about."

"You're new," she giggles.

In fact, you know exactly what she's talking about. And you're afraid her new found willingness of cooperation and taking of medicine has cleared her thoughts enough to see what's going on. Almost afraid now, you clutch your notebook to your chest and shake your head. What could this bode for you? In love with the infamous Queen of Gotham's king?

"I'll be back to speak with you at around four-thirty for our session, Harleen."

You begin to walk towards Jokers cell again, attempting to shake off what just happened.

"Tell my puddin' I'll be waitin' for him.." you hear her whispering faintly, the sudden emotion in her voice sounding as though she were about to cry.

The last thing you wanted to do was have a clown mob hit on your head the size of Mount Everest. But you can't help how you feel. He'd turned on that faucet the day you met, allowing it to trickle slowly, slowly until he turned it on further and further. This had been a long time coming. Harley Quinn was not going to change that for you.

Besides, she's locked up and controlled, what's the worst that could happen?

A smile brightens your face as you see his room. It too is damask and dark, but you know he brightens it up with his own smile. Your keys jingle as the rain beats on the window, (a request you put in just for him, thinking the light of day and possible sound of rain or wind could serve as some therapy) and you hear him groan softly as he stretches his legs behind the glass.

"Doctor {Y/L/N}!" He exclaims sleepily. "I was waiting for you."

"I see that, Mister J," you say with a light grin, stepping into the room and closing the door behind you. "Have a nice nap?"

"It was.. alright. It could've been better, with a nicer bed... Say, maybe even someone to share it with."

A blush fills your cheeks as his cool eyes meet yours.

"Now, now," your tone is soft with him. He brings out the compassionate side in you that no other patient has before.

You sit down, the straight jacket he dons looks extra uncomfortable today. You bite your lip briefly and sit down in the chair opposite his couch, (another gift) wondering if taking it off might be a good thing.

That would depend on his progress today, you think.

"Harley misses you," you blurt out, quickly noticing your statement almost sounded harsh. You try to reel it back. "She's doing so well. Taking her medicine, she's even eating without force."

You know you aren't supposed to be discussing other patients, especially not Harley to Joker. It could be your job on the line. But you feel as though you have to gauge just what's going to take place here today. And well, if all goes well, maybe you won't need your job after all.

"Enough about her," he says, leaning slightly towards you. "I knew she'd go back to normal, eventually. It's just how she is.. can't trust anyone," he mumbles before pausing. "It's you, Doctor, that I want to discuss today."

You turn your face slightly, still meeting his gaze. His stare seems to pull every part of your soul from the depths of body.

"M-me?"

"Yes, you. You've shown me such kindness since I've been here this time, doctor. You oughta know that it's been.. playin' on my soft heart.."

"It has?" You ask breathless, leaning in now. Your {E/C} eyes are doe-like, and you hardly know what you're doing.

"Can I trust you, {Y/N}?" He asks, his grin endearing in your eyes.

"Yes, of course you can. You can always trust me. Always."

Hearing your first name spill from his lips like honey into a jar breaks your composure. You're leaned in closer, attention on him and only him, and you'd put a bullet between your own eyes if it meant he'd trust you.

"Would you be a doll, and.. take me outta this thing? It's so.. so.. uncomfortable!"

"Yes," you nod, carefully reaching over and undoing the belts on the jacket. You haven't noticed your breathing is heavier, but he has. A smirk places itself on his lips as he watches your face. Even he thinks you're gorgeous, but he'd never let you in on that.

"Ah..." he breathes as you place the jacket on the back of your own chair. Stretching his arms behind his head, he leans back again. Desperately, you want to be close to him. But you know you've got a job to do, still.

The notebook pages crinkle between your fingers as you turn them to an empty page. The pen glides across the paper, leaving a black ink trail of dots and lines before speaking to him.

You clear your throat gently. "So, how's the windowed room working?" You manage a sweet smile again, coming back to your inhibitions.

"Great. The suns warmth, the rains beauty. It all reminds me of you, Doctor."

The glass in your mind shatters all over again, and you pause momentarily before setting the notebook and pen down on the table beside you. Placing your hands in your lap, you look into his eyes with a longing.

"Let me help you, Mister J.."

He pulls back, the grin still on his face said nothing, but he seemed to almost know this was coming.

"Help me?" His voice bellows. "Just how would you plan to do that?"

You look around, the hallway was clear but you knew anyone could see or be there at any given moment with cameras and panic buttons everywhere.

"I.. I don't know, yet. But I can. If you could just hang on.. a few extra days.."

The wheels in your head are turning as you try to think of a way to get him out sooner. You just can't bear to see him in that jacket again.

"Honey, if you give me a little more credit, I could bust outta here myself.."

Honey.

"How? They'll see you, J.. And God knows what they'll do to you then.."

"Don't you worry your pretty little head about me."

Pretty.

"I.. Can I come with you?"

You can tell the laugh that escapes from him did just that, escape. He tries to quiet himself before laying a hand on your cheek. The warmth was not something you expected, and you press your face against his palm softly.

He moves inches from your face. Fear, intrigue, lust and admiration all wash over you at once. Your obsession with him has gotten out of hand, and you realize this once he stands up before you, ready to leave.

You stand and turn to face him.

"I wouldn't want a delicate little thing like you getting hurt out there, Doctor," he coos, reaching under the table for a gun and ammunition that had been hiding there all along. You had no idea, but in the moment, this didn't bother you, either.

You follow him out of the room, pain on your features. "I can deal with more than you may think," you say quietly, trying to convince him as you both make your way down the empty hall. He loads the gun, the clanking echoing off the walls as he becomes careless to the noise. The emptiness while a patient is escaping is almost eerie as you think about the lack of security around.

"Puddin'!" You hear an excited squeal coming from the cell that had stopped you before. A wave of worry flows over you, and you think you'll have no chance if he lets her out, too. You stop and lean against the wall as he steps in front of Harley's door.

"Baby, I thought I'd never see ya," you hear him say, his tone even more sultry than it had been with you, causing hurt to course through your veins.

They hold an exchange as you suddenly feel your cheeks growing hot. You touch your cheek now, looking at your hand in the dark. Tears. This mornings mascara melting down your face. Suddenly a loud bang clanks against the bars that frightens you, and you peek over at them.

"No! You're not leaving me again!" She yells at him.

"I gotta new one of you, Harls. You're becoming too... compliant, too... soft. This one though.. she'll do whatever I want. Just for me," he growls.

You straighten up as he walks over and grabs your arm, lugging you back in front of her door and wrapping an arm around you.

"Meet Doctor {Y/L/N}!" He laughs, pretending as though they’ve never met.

"What's up with you and psychiatrists?" She grumbles, pouting.

"What can I say, the most sane specimens of the human race just, get me.."

Suddenly, her toned arms slide through the bars, grabbing hold of you and pulling you back against them, causing strands of your hair to fall from your styling that day.

You feel something cold and sharp pressed against your throat, and start to feel like maybe this wasn't such a great idea as you can't escape her grip.

"I'll cut her throat, J," she says in haste. "Then what're ya gonna do?"

"Hmm.. find myself a new psych." He looks at her through bold eyes, laughing.

"I told you this wasn't gonna work, lady. I meant it," she roars into your ear.

Has she even been taking her meds at all? How did she get that knife? Better yet, a new psychiatrist? You vowed in your own mind never to disobey him, if you made it out of here alive.

A wave of people began to flood in, shouting orders and commands to control the situation. One by one, he gunned them down with a smile and a laugh. Patients began to scream, and distracted, Harley loosened her grip. You break free and look at her through the glass.

Emotion written all over her face, she stares back at you. She smiles, leaning in to lick the glass slowly before screaming and throwing her fist into it where your face should be from her view.

He begins to walk away and the better side of your sanity kicks in, almost causing you to feel sorry for her as you follow him again. A twinge of light allows you to catch a glimpse of a tear on her tattooed cheek before you go.

"Where to now, Mister J?" You ask, your breathing labored from trying to catch up.

A loud, cackle fills the halls, bouncing in and out of the cells you pass, and he cocks the now reloaded gun.

"The bat cave, darling.”

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