Guys I feel like I kinda relapsed today (cw) pretty much hid myself away (I hate the public) and dont feel pretty "enough" :/ it's so stoopid cus its back n forth , I was on a good streak, loved my body, loved my appearance verses feburary I hated looking at myself entirely, I even stopped taking selfies on snapchat to help w my recovery, and it helped so much ! And it helped me stop body checking too but now I finally reached my goal and got bio oil 🥺🙌🏽 v happy (and saved money too!) Hehe <3 hopefully the next 3months my skin can get better n I can feel more beautiful ♡ with healthy skin ^.^
forgot to take pics yesterday :| so im going to talk about my weekend as a whole. i dont do a lot on the weekdays so i’ll probably usually post about my weekends instead of posting daily.
today i:
- went for a 2 mile run. it was very cold so my nose was running and my knees were red haha.
- got some books from a cute local bookshop :)
- had lunch w an old coworker and he gave me a leather-bound copy of mistborn for my birthday, which was very sweet :)
- finished 3 assignments for a couple of my classes.
- watched the banshees of inisherin. ive been meaning to for a while and i loved it so im glad i finally got around to it. i also watched bones and all, which i also loved.
My weekend was bleh -_- i was just annoyed at everything , living with 5 people sucks and constantly having to wait on everything because its already in use and my mom act like ima get a job on the spot tmrw like literally these ppl gotta look over my application !! I'm a teen girl w no experience and I'm hoping at least some professional place can give me experience (training) to get better 😭 whenever my mom tells me things I already know what to do it pisses me off because I take it as control and pressure instead of help and support. Being nitpicked at everything makes me feel like burden >:(
Another thing I have been thinking about is my bio parent, When someone you havent seen in years reach out to you at legal age it definitely impacts your life this shit is not normal and is so common in the black community; I dont think anyone truly realizes how important it is to have both bio parents in your life, I cannot call this person a man cus they aren't and I do not trust them the things they said/did they jus expect me to forget :/ and I dont want nothing to do w them ever again and it's truly ashame I can't have a good relationship w them and I'm in the process of accepting not having them in my life and moving forward, I also hold my mom accountable for her part as well and I talked to my grandma about it and she's on my side 100% and I feel like in the future this is gna be an ongoing topic , I've gone thru alot in 3 months n felt so lonely from it but I'll be okayy.(authentic segment over)
Good things that happened ! I have cute new unicorn jacket imma wear alot till I get tired of it (I love unicorns 💟) i was also able to get into littlespace and feel v comfortable about my soft aesthetics and dressing cutely ♡♡♡ I was also able to buy things I needed this weekend and wash clothes n my sunday self care routine so yay ! I hope this week is a good one and I dont feel like crap, this is my last week of fall classes for this semester so thank GOD ! >.< I hope you guys had a great weeknd and thanks to the ppl checking on me. 💜💜💜 wuv chu
wake up. open tumblr. scroll through tumblr. refresh tumblr. gerardpost. open ao3. mcr fanfiction. open spotify. listen to entire black parade album while doing nothing else. dye hair a weird color. open tumblr.