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icallhimjoey · 7 months

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Lost & Found

♥ ♥ Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: You take a little break, a week away to somewhere warm to relax and calm your senses. So does Joe – same flight, same hotel, same travel plans and, worst of all, same suitcase. What was meant to be a lovely trip to the sun starts off on the wrong foot when you find expensive designer outfits belonging to a man in what you thought was your suitcase.

CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, lots of swearing, we get a little spicy but nothing too bad, 18+ just in case though!

Author’s note: i know i already said we were going at a slower pace, but, i really meant it - ive got too much other things going and i apologise! part four might take EVEN LONGER ive got a busy month coming up, so we'll see how it goes! thanks for being patient with me <333

Wordcount: 4.3K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

Your breath hitched as your fingers twitched with need of a self-destruct button when you saw him.

Swimming shorts, black. The ones you’d had in your hands two days before. Linen shirt, short sleeves, beige – unbuttoned. It was one of the things you’d tried on. Your friend had said it looked like a pyjama top on you. You were glad to learn it did not look like a pyjama top on him.

Sunglasses. Black, dark, and designer if you were to go by the large metallic logos on the sides.

Hair sort of all over the place, like he hadn’t touched it after rolling out of bed this morning. Book in hand, paperback, folded corners and broken spine.

If you were honest, it was kind of a vibe. Until you panned down, and...

Loafers.

You hoped that the glare of the sun didn’t turn your sunglasses transparent enough for Joe to notice you weren’t looking at your phone screen when you saw him step out and enter the pool area.

He walked past a couple of sun loungers that had towels on but seemed otherwise fairly abandoned. The pool was empty, the water too cold to casually dip into, so the towels probably belonged to people who dumped them there before breakfast, just to ensure they’d have a space of their own in the sun later.

Well, it was later now, and had there been no empty sun loungers free of towels, you’d have tossed a random one to claim as your own. Like the one right next to you. Just a big white towel from the hotel on an empty sun lounger that seemingly belonged to no one.

You saw Joe get closer and closer until you realised that he seemed to be coming right over to you.

Maybe he’d seen you and was now just there to come and tell you that he needed his jacket back. The one he gave you last night. The one you were meant to return to room 907. The one you still had up in room 1103.

Listen, it had gotten late. And you’d gotten too tipsy.

You also weren’t sure if you’d remembered 907 correctly, and, what if he was asleep already, you know? You decided after having your 6th drink poured into a plastic cup that you’d bring Joe his jacket tomorrow.

Maybe just after breakfast.

But then, you’d slept right through breakfast, hadn’t you?

You’d woken up two hours after falling asleep, and hadn’t been able to slide back into slumber until after you’d watched the sunrise from your balcony through blinking bleary eyes.

You’d only gotten a very quick gulp of water into your system after brushing your teeth, and now here you were, by the pool, living your best holiday-instagram-filtered-story life.

When Joe walked into earshot, you were ready to launch an excuse at him for not having returned his jacket yet.

But then he bent and sat down on the sun lounger next to you and you realized; that was his towel. One he'd probably laid down just before breakfast to ensure himself a lounger for when he'd want to enjoy some time by the pool side later.

Later was now, apparently.

Joe sat and took off his loafers as he looked over at the pool where the sun made the surface glitter, and then you saw him turn his head to look at you, giving you a polite smile.

“I was going to bring it over last night,” you blurted out as you sat up a little, “I promise, room 907, I didn’t forget. It was just, it got a bit late, and I didn’t want to maybe wake you– I’ll give it back today,” God, the nervosity practically dripped from the words you squeaked out.

Joe just smiled, which only made it worse.

“I... I’ll go get it right now, sorry,” you swung your legs to the side but stopped when you heard Joe laugh.

“That’s okay, no worries,” he quickly said, stopping your feet from finding your flip flops.

“I wasn’t going to keep it,” you reassured.

“I didn’t think you were.”

Okay, good.

“None of my other things have gone missing, so you’re fine,” Joe scrunched his nose and made a face before he got comfy with his book in his lap.

You thought back to that first night with his suitcase. He was sort of right. You could’ve easily kept something - probably would have if you’d listened to your friend who kept telling you, “That looks great on you, fucking keep it,” over and over.

“About that...” you heard yourself say it before you could stop yourself.

“Can I, just, do you want my unsolicited opinion on something?”

Joe found the page in his book he’d left off on and used fingers to bend the spine a bit further. He didn’t really reply, which you took as an invitation to just drop what had been on your mind without holding back.

“Just, I don’t understand, you seem–” you thought your choice of words over just for a second. “You sort of seem like you know what you’re doing. Man on a business trip, expensive clothing, all tailored I’m guessing, and then there’s– I’m sorry, but why would you use two-in-one shampoo?”

Joe blinked at you a second.

“And not only use it, but bring it?!”

It took Joe a second to figure out how to react to your animated question. You seemed genuinely grossed out and properly confused.

Man on a business trip.

That tickled him.

“You um... you went through my toiletries?” Joe asked, eyes back in his book, hoping that maybe the question would get you to blush again like you’d blushed when you’d met at the airport the day before.

“I went through everything, and you fucking know it,” you couldn’t help but laugh yourself now. “Please tell me that bottle has been in your that bag since the nineties and you don’t actually use it still,”

Joe snorted, head bobbing a little.

“I mean,” he started, “It’s how long I’ve had the bag, so that’s not as implausible as you’d think,”

“Yea, it looks it, Joe” you jabbed, grinning, and that’s when Joe realised.

The fucking toiletries bag.

The one he’d had since he was eight.

The one his mother had written his name on with black sharpie so he wouldn’t lose it.

JOE

He could picture it clear as day.

You knew his name because you’d read it on his toiletries bag.

You didn’t know who he was.

His mother’s handwriting had revealed his name to you, and you didn’t fully understand the wistful little smile that overtook his face for a moment as he frowned at his book a little.

This new knowledge shifted something for him. He could dissect the relief of it all later, if he wanted to. Now, it just made him want to entertain this interaction further.

So he did.

Asked you if he was correct at having missed you at breakfast. Told you he wasn't actually on a business trip, but just there for a short break from the hustle and bustle of the city, of work.

You told him you were there for the same reason, and you swapped similar stories of busy jobs and hectic schedules, of tensed shoulders and worried supervisors who pressured you into trips to the sun, and now, here you were. By the poolside of a nice hotel where they served nice drinks and, would you like a drink? What did you have last night?

“Stop, if anyone needs to get anyone a drink here, it’s me. As a thank you for the jacket and not having me, you know, arrested.”

You got up, were about to wave your card in Joe’s face but found yourself plonking back down onto the lounger.

Weird.

You didn’t feel dizzy at all, but somehow your balance felt off. You went to test it by giving your head a little shake, and then suddenly, the world moved sideways. Gravity pulled at you from the side, making you lean there a little, and then, a lot.

There was lounger where you landed, shoulder first, but there wasn’t enough lounger. After bouncing once, you felt yourself slide.

It somehow felt fine, didn’t make you panic at all, your brain already making sense of it but in all the wrong ways. You didn’t feel so heavy, head all light, and so the thud to the floor wasn’t so bad. It was almost like you floated down there, but then, with your cheek pressed against the warm concrete, everything unexpectedly moved upwards with a rough jerk. Smacked you right in the face and the rest of your body sort of slumped down, hurting your cheekbone and what you thought was your brow bone as your full weight seemed shoved into them.

It hurt.

Not in the same way the cold water of the pool hurt the bones of your feet when you'd sat on the edge of it earlier – this felt worse. Cutting.

Your face was pushed into the ground by your own weight until out of the blue, the concrete moved away from you, and you floated back up. Back the right side up.

There were hands and they pulled, and it hurt your arm, your elbow, your shoulder.

“Did you faint? What the– did you faint? No, you– hang on,”

Hands clambered at you until you were back on soft familiar surface, but everything felt a little sticky. And somehow you were fucking freezing.

“Joe?”

You felt your vocal cords say it, you knew you just said something, but you didn’t hear them. Was your voice not working? Or was it your hearing that had gone?

“You fainted,”

“It’s fine, I don’t– what’s happening, what is…”

“Fucking hell, lay down a second. Legs up too, just, I want you flat– be flat,”

You didn’t move quick enough for Joe’s liking, which Joe realized, of course you fucking didn’t. You just smashed yourself face first into the concrete and your eyebrow was bleeding now. In an attempt to gracefully get your legs up onto the lounger too, Joe nearly flung you off of the whole thing on the other side. Managed to grab you by the side just before you swung too far.

“Hands, hands,” Joe just grabbed them. “Give me your hands.” He was already holding them. “Here, hold the sides for me. I need to move you into the shade.”

And then the whole world moved. A tree came into view as the lounger you were on got dragged across grass. It disoriented you into a dizzy spin that made you forget which way was up for a second, even though you were staring right at up.

In no time, two guys who wore polo shirts with hotel-logo-nametags hovered over you and a lady from three sun loungers over stepped in to tell them to get a first aid kit. Something to clean that gash with. To make the bleeding stop.

Joe stepped back and let her mother you for a second, told one of the guys who worked at the hotel that you’d gotten up from the sun lounger and then just… fell.

The lady asked if you’d eaten, and you tried to convince her you were fine and that all of the fuss was a bit much, but then you had to confess that you hadn’t actually eaten and you’d also not slept very well the night before, and the night before that, and, you actually hadn't slept normal in ages, and your shoulders hurt, lower back too, and you’d drank a lot the night before, and, Jesus Christ, you were so fucking cold.

“Someone get her something to drink, she needs sugar,”

“And a sandwich maybe? Something to eat?” Joe added, making the other man scurry off.

There was a moment where the lady and Joe looked at each other and then both looked back at you and you felt so stupidly embarrassed.

“Can I– I want to go back to my room,”

So you could fester in your own embarrassment by yourself in peace and quiet. Without people staring down at you, and no doubt from all around the pool too with all the commotion that was made.

“They’re getting you a drink and some food, and you need your eyebrow looked at,” the lady smiled politely at you, using a finger to wipe some of your hair away from getting stuck in the blood there.

You moved a hand up to touch it, to feel how bad it was, but saw Joe reach an arm out that he quickly snapped away when you halted. You moved it to your mouth instead, to bite at the thumb nail to stop your teeth from chattering.

You were outside and people were barely wearing any clothes and seemed fine – why were you still freezing?

“Are you cold?” the woman asked, already looking around for a towel to drape over you.

“I’m fine,” you lied, and heard Joe huff a laugh. Obviously, you weren’t.

“Here,” he said, and you saw how he handed over the white hotel towel from his sun lounger. It got carefully placed over your shoulders, and it helped a little, but you just wanted to go upstairs and crawl back into bed. Get under the warm covers and sleep this off.

The first aid kit arrived, and this random hotel guest in a bathing suit took it from the guy who’d brought it over. She took over completely, cleaned your face with disinfectant and asked for Joe to help her cut a piece of tape to bandage it up. You saw his fingers fumble, shaking a little bit, like he seemed nervous.

A plated club sandwich and a can of coke arrived. After plenty of “How are you feeling?” and you repeating that you were fine over and over and over in between sips and bites, you were finally asked which room you were staying in, and if you were there with someone.

You hesitated to answer, afraid that if you said you were alone, they wouldn’t just let you go back to your room. They should, of course they should just let you do whatever, but there were three strangers doting over you all worriedly, and then also a fourth one who, even though you'd gone through everything he brought on this trip, was still technically a stranger too.

“It’s okay,” Joe then said. “I’ll take her up to her room.”

And before you could complain about it, he’d slung his towel around his neck, had taken the glass and the plate, then bent sideways and stuck an elbow out for you to loop an arm through.

It was a little weird to walk into the hotel with Joe. To get into the lifts with Joe. To step into your room with Joe.

It was a little weirder to say you were going to shower and that you were fine, thank you.

It was a little weirder when Joe didn’t just accept that and looked at you with worried eyes before he asked if you could shower with the door open, and if he could sit just outside in case the hot water did silly things to your blood pressure. What if you dropped in the shower and no one would be there to stop you from drowning?

“Drown? It’s a shower.”

“Place could flood.” Joe shrugged.

It was weird when you looked at each other a second and you realised he wasn’t going to leave. Wasn’t going to let you shower with the door shut and locked, and so, fine.

Joe awkwardly stood in the middle of your hotel room, plate and drink still in hand, when you moved the desk chair closer to the bathroom door.

“I’m sorry, I just, that lady from downstairs will murder me if I don’t make sure you’re okay,”

You laughed at his excuse and gestured for him to put all he was holding down on the desk.

“I’ll be quick.” You said, finding a change of clothes to take into the bathroom with you.

“Please, take your time. Don’t rush.”

You didn’t rush, but were quick anyway. You now had a man waiting for you to finish a shower and you knew you’d gone through all of his things, but leaving him alone in your hotel room surrounded by all of your things felt invasive.

The warm water was nice and managed to relax your shoulders a little.

Not a lot.

But, you know, all little bits helped.

“I’m okay,” you called when you shut off the water, hoping maybe Joe would reply, ok great, and maybe leave. He didn’t. Just said, “Good.” and then stayed put.

When you emerged with wet hair, in soft shorts and a white tank top, Joe smiled at you. His eyes immediately went to the wet bandage that covered your eyebrow still, the tape strong enough to have kept it in place. Good. That was good.

His smile quickly disappeared however, when he saw you rub a hand at your neck, your face displaying a painful grimace.

“Your jacket,” you pointed and Joe looked. Saw his jacket. Had seen it already.

He didn’t move to grab it, instead turning back to you. His eyes flicked between your face that displayed painful discomfort and the hand that was squeezing at the flesh of your shoulder now.

“All right, I’ll leave you alone in a second, but before you tell me you’re fine again, can I… can I just…” Joe held both his hands up. You just looked at them and didn’t move. Joe, in turn, placed both hands on top of your shoulders and frowned at what he felt.

“Jesus, all right,” Joe turned, looked around the room, eyes darting and brain going at top speeds to put a plan together.

“Do you mind if I…?”

Perhaps Joe could start actually finishing his sentences, you thought, although you thought you knew what he meant and shrugged both your shoulders up to your ears.

“No,” Joe’s eyes grew wide before he tutted at you. “Don’t, that doesn’t help. Come, sit,”

Joe sat down on the edge of the bed before you did.

“Face that way,” Joe pointed towards the windows, away from him. You followed instructions without question and felt how he collected your hair into one hand before carefully placing it over a shoulder so it’d be out of the way.

“You know this isn’t what this is meant to feel like, right?” You could hear the humour carried in his voice. Of course you knew that. You knew you also weren’t meant to bite at your nails until your fingers bled. Weren’t meant to wake up sweating and panting because you’d hallucinated being trapped in a small dark place again.

You felt the mattress level out behind you as Joe got up and stepped forward. He bent to the side a little, getting his shoulder in front of your face.

“Here,” he touched himself where he’d touched you just before. “Feel this bit, how you can easily squeeze the soft tissue here?”

You reached up, hesitated for a moment, but then touched Joe over his linen shirt that had a few buttons done up now, and squeezed where he told you to squeeze. Like it was normal.

That was… that was all muscle.

Not as thick and hard as whatever was happening to your shoulders, but these were Joe’s warm muscles you were pressing your fingers into.

“Now feel yours,” Joe moved back, touched his fingers to where he wanted you to feel, and made you squeeze yourself in the same spot and, yea, okay, that was a big difference.

“I am also here to relax, but clearly one of us needs it more than the other,” Joe huffed a laugh through his nostrils as he sat down on the bed again behind you and he got back to what he was doing before.

“I've not gotten a good night's sleep in months,” you revealed as Joe dug thumbs into where it hurt.

Hurt good.

Hurt so good.

“You should book a massage,” Joe spoke softly, but kept massaging your shoulders, the bottom of your neck.

“Hmmh,” you replied, afraid that if you’d say anything else, he’d stop what he was doing.

Joe kneaded and pushed and squeezed and touched for a while, and you noticed you were starting to have to work really hard at not flopping over. At sitting up right and keeping your eyes open. You repressed yawns and tried to remember to breath properly, but you’d just had a nice shower and you’d barely gotten any sleep before and now you were on your bed in a comfortable outfit and Joe was massaging you with his big hands and maybe you could rest your eyes, for just a second, you know?

“Here, lay down,” Joe suddenly whispered and without acknowledging how weird it was that Joe just sat outside your bathroom whilst you showered and was now massaging you to sleep in your hotel room, you just laid down. Instantly got comfortable on your stomach leaving enough space for Joe to sit on the side, one knee folded onto the bed and the other dangling down the side still.

“There’s a– do you feel this?” Joe pushed knuckles exactly where you wanted them. “Huge knot.”

“Feels nice,” you whispered, breathy and exhausted.

“I can loosen it up a bit more, but this– you really should get a professional massage,”

Joe kept working strong fingers and even stronger knuckles into the same spots until you couldn’t even feel it anymore. Just felt numb. Or maybe you were just falling asleep and not stopping yourself from slipping under.

Joe’s hands never ventured much lower – maybe just a little, but nothing inappropriate. You were only strangers after all. He thought that you knew who he was but then you didn’t and now the playing field was level and, sure, you knew more about him because you’d gone through his whole suitcase, but he was in your hotel room now and you were falling asleep under his touch.

Fell asleep under his touch.

You woke up in an empty hotel room hours later, covered by the folded-over other half of the duvet you were lying on top of.

You felt… well rested. Only a little disoriented. A little thirsty. Nothing crazy.

The last thing you remembered feeling was Joe’s fingers trailing from your shoulders down your arms and back up again and you felt a little sad that he wasn’t there anymore.

It was still light out, but the sun was setting and it felt like the whole day had passed you by today. You stretched, body feeling looser. Better. Joe was right though, you needed to book a massage. Maybe two. Or three.

When you looked over and saw Joe’s jacket still there, slung over the back of the chair that was now back in its spot behind the desk, you couldn’t help the huff of laughter that escaped you. He could’ve taken that – should have taken that, and yet…

Yea, the day had been weird.

Had been weird from the start.

The weird night's sleep, Joe's toiletries bag, the wound above your eye, the empty coke can on the desk, the massage that had put you to sleep for several uninterrupted hours, and, Joe's jacket.

Weird.

And then room service was weird.

And watching the sunset from your balcony was weird.

Then trying to get back into bed for actual nighttime sleep was weird.

All of it, just... weird.

Room 907.

You'd said you would return the jacket today.

And then he'd been in your room and he'd stayed with you until you'd fallen asleep and then he hadn't taken it.

Joe's jacket was still in your hotel room.

Weird.

You tried ignoring it. Tried to watch TV. Scrolled on your phone. Thought of taking a long bath, maybe.

But that stupid jacket. It kept calling your attention from across the room.

Even after turning off all the lights and tossing and turning for about an hour, you could still feel it there. Taunting. Whispering dares.

Bring me to his hotel room.

Take me there.

Come on.

And...

Fuck.

All right.

You sat up in bed, flicked on a light and squinted both eyes at the sudden brightness.

There it was, still in the same spot. Joe's jacket.

“Fine. You win.” you told no one and slung your legs out of bed, grumbling with annoyance as you took the jacket from the chair and found your hotel room key on the side.

Room 907.

The hotel was quiet as you took the lift down two floors and found Joe's room quick enough.

You stalled a second, unsure if you should knock, but then thought, fuck it. You were there now, jacket in hand, and you'd said you'd bring it back today. You knocked softly, then waited and listened. Nothing. Just to be safe, you knocked again, and then heard the soft click of a light switch. You ignored how that made your heart thunder in your throat.

It didn't take long for the door to open. When you saw Joe's tired face, you immediately knew you'd made a mistake.

You should've waited 'til the next morning. This wasn't a cool move.

“Your jacket,” you felt so dumb. Looked so dumb.

But then you caught sight of the smallest of smiles as Joe took it from you, holding the door wide open as he did.

A beat of silence followed where you hoped Joe'd say thanks, so you could tell him thank you for letting you borrow it in return.

The thanks never came.

Instead Joe stepped aside, door still wide open, and gave a tiny backwards nod that welcomed you inside, followed by a quiet whisper.

“Come on.”

---

The Taglisted

@adoreyouusugar, @alana4610, @ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @barfightzanddiscolightz, @bettyfrommars, @cancankiki, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @dylanmunson, @eddies-puppet, @electricmunson, @emma77645, @emmamooney, @everythinghasafacee, @figmentofquinn, @frogers, @frootvelvet, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @harringtonfan4, @haylaansmi, @jasminearondottir, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @kellyxo1, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @miserybeans, @nadixq, @paola-carter, @pepperstories, @phyllosilicate-s, @roosterisdaddy36, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @thebellenouvelle, @thefemininemystiquee, @thewondernanazombie, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella

taglist currently full, sorry

#Joe Quinn #Joseph Quinn #Joe Quinn x You #Joseph Quinn x You #Joe Quinn x Reader #Joseph Quinn x Reader #Joe Quinn Fanfic #Joe Quinn fanfiction #Joseph Quinn Fanfic #Joseph Quinn Fanfiction #joe quinn x y/n #joseph quinn x y/n #rpf #icallhimjoey #lost & found #lost and found #part three

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rancidpancakebatter · 6 months

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Picnics at Sunset - [L Lawliet]

Pairings: L (Death Note) x Female!Reader

Summary: You knew that You cared for Ryusaki very much. You knew you trusted him with your life, and you always felt better when he was around. You knew that you desired his attention and approval more than anyone else’s. You knew that he was beautiful and kind. But you didn’t know if he felt any of those things about you. You didn’t know what those things meant. Or rather, you feared what they could mean, and what that would do to the both of you.

Word Count: 14k words

Content: Swearing, Mentions of death, nudity?, friends to lovers, first kiss, Use of Celcius, touch of angst (it's death Note, come on), Sappy thoughts of love

( Masterlist )

A/N: I have so much to say, but I'll try to keep it brief. I'm sorry this is so long, but so much of this show cuts to long internal dialogues within a conversation, and I tried to capture that. I think I did well, but it is a little long-winded. I don't know if I'll do a lot of writing for this character, but he got stuck in my head recently, and this was the only way I knew to let him go.

You sat at your desk, the computer screen you had been staring at for the past three hours was beginning to hurt your head. You leaned back in your chair, rubbing your eyes; then silently cursing as you felt your mascara smear against the pads of your fingers. You needed a break and something other than a slice of cake in your stomach. You looked to your right out of habit, ready to tell your friend that you were taking a break and he should do the same, but his chair was empty.

You looked around the room.

“He stepped outside,” a voice said.

Behind you was Matsuda. You jumped when he spoke, not realising he was there, and he apologised for startling you.

“Yeah, we should get you a bell,” you suggested.

“Yeah, maybe so.” Matsuda laughed. “You know, if you want to bounce ideas off of someone, you can talk to me. I know I can’t come close to Ryusaki’s intelligence, but I’d like to think I have something to offer.”

“It’s okay,” you reassured. “I didn’t really need anything from him, just wanted to see what he was up to.”

“Well, I think he just needed some space to think. You know how he is.”

“That I do,” You agreed, “And I know If he wants to be alone, he’ll have no problem telling me himself.”

Matsuda laughed again, “I’m sure you’re right. But I have a feeling he won’t shoo you away. He has a soft spot for you.”

Just the idea of L turning you away had you put out. You crossed your arms, turning away with a huff. “Not if he knows what’s good for him.”

You heard Matsuda chuckling behind you, wishing you luck.

You marched up the stairs, down the hall, and got in the elevator, heading for the roof. As you made your way, you couldn’t help but admire the walls around you. The building L designed was quite impressive. You greatly enjoyed the glass elevator, preferring it over any others. Once you passed the tenth floor, the city could be seen. You were usually greeted by blinding sun and clear blue skies, but today, the sky was an enchanting apricot colour, blanketed by thick pink clouds heavy with rain. The sun was peaking from behind the silver buildings as if waiting to see you before finally saying goodbye. You waved to the people below, wishing them well on their oblivious wayfaring.

Soon you reached the top floor, and you pushed open the door to get to the roof access. The door to the roof was already opened, so you called out.

“Ryusaki! You out there?”

You were greeted by silence and tried again.

“I’m alone!”

Only then did you get a reply, “Did you bring any food?”

You chuckled, stepping out onto the roof. “No, I’m sorry.”

L stood out in the open, basking in the fading light and staring at the sky, unbothered by the cold air blowing. He was slouched over and hands firmly in his pockets. He turned his head to you, and the vibrant sky poured over his pale skin, drenching the soft canvas in the colours of monarchs and sunflowers. The light danced around his prominent eyes, flames in a ring of stone. His lips looked kissed by a dreamsicle. You looked away, finding your way back to reality.

“Did you want me to go back and get something?” You offered, throwing your thumb back towards the door.

“No,” He said, turning back to the sun, “Watari should be up soon.”

Before you could question, you heard the door open and close and the clinking sound of plates as they made their way up the stairs.

“Hello, dear,” The old man greeted with a smile.

He carried a tray with a full tea set in one hand and a wicker basket in the other, with a blanket draped across his arm. You watched as he laid it out on the ground, pulling plates and silverware from the basket along with a candelabra. Ryuga settled himself as Watari lit the candles, then gestured for you to do the same. The only clear spot to sit was right beside him, and you took it as gracefully as possible.

“I have brought sandwiches and various tea cakes,” Watari explained, “along with Keemun Mao Feng tea and honey. I hope you enjoy.”

You both thanked him and he left, closing the roof exit behind him. L sat, perching next to you, watching as you admired the display.

“It’s all my favourites,” You observed. “Why did you ask him to bring this?”

His thumb came to rest on his lip, gauging your reaction.

“I knew you would be getting hungry soon. I told Watari to bring some acceptable food if you didn’t grab any on your way up.”

You furrowed your brows in innocent confusion, “How did you know I’d come?”

His head turned away and you notice his feet shuffling, a tell for his anxiety.

“You always do.” He said with a shrug.

Your heart thumped affectionately as he turned his head, and your gaze fell back onto the band of sterling silver in his eyes. You smiled fondly at the man, and he had to look away. He busied himself with the basket, pulling out nicely wrapped sandwiches in brown butcher paper. He read the options out for you and passed you your selections. He then reached in and pulled out a white box with a blue bow. He began to tug at it, then stopped, offering it to you.

You giggled, unravelling the satin ribbon. When he pulled off the lid, a tiered display stand stood with ten layers of tiny cakes with an array of colours, creams, and toppings. L looked over the selection with a careful eye, then chose a spongy square with a raspberry on top. He pinched it between his fingers and brought it to his lips. You watched his selection process as you braided the ribbon into a piece of your hair, presenting it to your friend with a smile. He nodded in approval, and then you finally took a bite of your sandwich, moaning as the myriad of flavours filled your senses.

“Oh my god, this is delicious,” you said, pushing it towards Ryusaki, “You’ve gotta try it.”

His chewing stops as he eyes the sandwich in front of him like it were a loaded gun.

“I’m okay.” He said politely.

You accepted his dismissal, taking another bite from your sandwich, but still curious about it.

“Why don’t you eat anything but sugar?” You asked through a mouthful of sourdough.

“Well,” Ryusaki began, “Desserts tend to be more homogeneous in texture and taste. I find most ‘real’ food reduces my deductive skills by approximately twenty-five percent.”

You looked up at the beauty of the ending day around you and breathed in the air of the city.

“Do you need your deductive skills right now?” You asked softly, eyes still trained on the sky.

Moments passed in peaceful silence. You could hear a dog barking and the mummer of the life teeming below you. People going about their everyday lives, despite the horror of this new world. You tried to join them now and then, encouraging Ryusaki to do the same– to have a life outside of, despite of Kira. From your peripherals, you saw him spread his knees apart, sitting in a cross-legged position. You watched as he continued adjusting, trying to find a comfortable position. When he settled, you turned your eyes to his.

“Would you like some tea?” You asked.

He nodded his head, and you poured him half a cup from the teapot, filling the rest with cream and sugar, just the way he liked it. He thanked you when you passed it to him, fingers brushing briefly. You could tell he was a little uncomfortable, probably much more in tune with the “loss of thought” he was experiencing than any other person would be. He held his cup in both hands, elbows resting on his knees as he looked into the wheat-coloured drink. You left L to his thoughts, knowing he would share them if he deemed them important. You instead focused on tucking the rest of your sandwich away, opening another to try. You were happy Watari cared enough to cut them into little triangles.

“What are your plans after the Kira case?”

You nearly choked on your sandwich, not expecting the question. You wiped at your mouth with a napkin, trying to grab your composure.

“I haven’t given much thought to it,” you said, “but I know it will be a bittersweet moment when we catch him.”

Ryuga sat up a little, his interest piqued as he took another sip of his tea. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well,” you began, “I’ve met a lot of great people by working on this investigation. I don’t imagine our paths will cross much once this is all resolved, even if we do survive. But it makes me happy to think that one day they’ll get to walk into their front doors and hug their families without the fear of them being ripped away as collateral damage.”

“Not to mention,” You continued, “at the risk of sounding selfish, this job has some really nice perks. I’m compensated well, I get free room and board, I haven’t done my own laundry in four months, and I can even get company-provided gourmet picnics on the rooftop. There’s a lot to miss.”

“I must admit, I will miss the camaraderie,” L said softly. “But I fear the fallout from Kira’s arrest more.”

You knew what he meant. If he was right, and Light and Misa were Kira and The Second Kira, then it would destroy the task force. Matsuda’s heart would shatter, as would Mogi’s, though he’d hide it better than the former. Chief Yagami would likely suffer another heart attack, or perhaps snap entirely. And while you yourself didn’t want to believe it, you couldn’t deny what you knew was true. With the proof of shinigami's existence and an otherworldly murder weapon disguised as a harmless notebook downstairs, nothing could be ruled out. You questioned what other powers came with the notebook, and how those powers transferred.

Bribing Ryuke into answering all your questions was easy enough. It turns out he had never known the taste of a Fuji apple, only enjoying the common red delicious. One was enough to get him hooked. You presented everything you had learned about ownership of the notebook, how it can be passed, and how it affects the user. You and L had come to the same conclusion: sometime in Light’s confinement, he transferred ownership, as did Misa. You knew for sure when Misa visited Light the other day in the lobby.

At the beginning of the investigation, he refused to toy with her emotions, as it went against his code. And you found it comforting, knowing Kira would have no problem doing that, and Light was immediately opposed. For months, he made no effort to show affection to Misa, rebuffing any advance or innuendo she made, but you watched as he brought her into a hug. You watched as she melted into it, savouring the sparring touch and every word he whispered into her ear. You knew he hadn’t magically fallen in love with the girl, but was using the love she had for him.

Yes, Light had changed, and the repercussions were terrifying.

Ryusaki was silent. By now, the sun had set, and the moon began climbing up a ladder of stars. The candlelight flickered, making shadows jump and jive across your friend’s face. The shifts were jarring, but the gentle lighting softened his hardened edges. Your eyes traced the slope of his nose, down his plush lips, and his long neck. You wished to stretch out a curious finger to replace your itinerant eyes.

“Would you like a cake?” Ryusaki asked, changing the subject. You allowed the distraction, deciding you would bring it up again later, but not know.

You selected one with orange filling and chocolate drizzle. It was delicious, falling apart in your fingers as you ate it. You heard a soft chuckle leave your friend's mouth and you looked up at him confused. He said nothing, instead motioning towards his face. You tilted your head, not understanding what he meant. Before you could ask, L brought a napkin to the corner of your mouth, gently rubbing it across your bottom lip.

Your heart stopped beating and your lungs stopped breathing. His touch was like the flames of the flickering candles, igniting the skin he polished. His eyes flicked up to yours and you were lost in a pool of obsidian, his pupils vast in the stary night.

“There,” he said softly, “all gone.”

You searched for your voice, and it came out in a breathy whisper, “Thanks.”

He continued, unbothered by the unprecedented physical contact while you took a sip of your tea, in hopes that would help your unsteady heart. Before you had much time to recover, He spoke again.

“My favourite colour is blue.”

You blinked dumbly, at the man as he readjusted uncomfortably.

“My favourite cake is Strawberry Vanilla Sponge Cake,” He continued, “and I sing in the shower.”

You laughed out of shock, and words continued to spill from his mouth like he couldn’t stop them.

“If I could have a superpower, I would want invisibility. I think four-leaf clovers are ridiculously overblown, but I admire their inherent whimsy. I really like The Beatles, which is very embarrassing as I am British. But even more so because I listen to ‘We Can Work It Out’ when I get frustrated. They bring me a sort of comfort. I’ve always wanted a cat. I think it’s funny when they’re given people names, or named after ridiculous things. If I had one, I’d get a tuxedo cat and name it 3,4,4,5-tetramethylcyclohexa-2,5-dien-1-one.” You open your mouth to ask what that was, but he answered it before you could, “It’s a cyclic dienone, more commonly known as penguinone, and though it has no applicable uses, it’s funny.”

You shake your head, trying to make sense of his sudden urge to tell you all of these things. In his unblinking eyes, you saw something close to desperation and it confused you, forcing you to look away. You missed the way Ryusaki’s face fell.

“Are you…upset?” he asked cautiously. “I’m sorry if I overshared.”

“No, no,” You reassured, trying to alleviate some of the guilt that filled your chest at his apprehension. “I’m just confused”

“I was trying to establish trust,” he explained cooly.

Your brows furrowed, “Do you think I don’t trust you?”

“No, I-” he paused, releasing a sigh that moved his shoulders.

“Ignore me,” he said sadly, “Nothing I say lately seems to make much sense.”

Your heart shattered at the uncertainty in his voice. He usually spoke with such conviction. To hear him unsure, insecure in sensibility– his intelligence, really –it made you nauseous.

“Ryusaki,” you began, but he looked away.

“Ryusaki,” you tried again, this time resting a hand on his shoulder, “your sense is still very intact. You’re not the crazy one.”

He looked at your hand, where it rested without hesitancy.

“Look,” you continued, “Someone is trying to kill you. And it could very likely be your best friend. You’re making more sense than anyone else would in your situation.”

Suddenly his eyes shot to yours. There was a small fire burning there, and you worried that you had upset him. You began to remove your hand, but he rested his on yours, keeping it pressed against his shoulder. Your heart leapt at the contact, and you prayed he didn’t notice. Though, if you knew anything about Ryusaki, he did and already tucked it away as useful information.

“Light Yagami is not my best friend.” He said simply, “You are.”

You couldn’t fight the smile that sprouted from the sentiment.

“Really?” You asked in disbelief.

“Of course, I wouldn’t lie about that.”

Your smile grew more teasing, “But you didn’t even chain yourself to me.”

L smiled too, “I didn’t have to.”

Time passed in silence. It was a bit awkward, your hand remained on his shoulder as the candles burned. You were getting chilly, the night air nipping at you through your t-shirt. L’s hand kept yours still, you were much too nervous to move it away. Especially when you could see your friend thinking very hard.

He suddenly turned toward you, removing his hand and jostling yours. His thumb came to his lip, running it across and moving the muscle.

“There are a lot of social customs that I haven’t gotten to participate in, due to my isolated childhood, and even more so because of my dangerous career,” he said, “for instance, I had never had friends until this investigation, and now I have three. But that also means I haven’t experienced a lot of the common experiences that come with friendship.”

He looked you over, trying to gauge your reaction thus far. You seemed at ease but attentive. His eyes darted to the blue streak in your hair, and felt a warmth blossoming in his chest. He was amazed by how light-hearted you could be, despite the heavy burdens you carried. You shone so brightly, he was almost embarrassed to ask you to share.

“I was wondering if you would be willing to help me with that. I think it’s important to my development, and general understanding of the human condition.”

You were delighted to hear that he was thinking about such “trivial” things. As you became closer to L, you quickly realised that he lived a very lonely life. You could tell he had convinced himself that was what he wanted, but you knew a life of work wasn’t enough, and he deserved more. You always encouraged him to take care of more than his brain; to value his body and his spirit as well.

“Of course L,” you nearly cheered, “what did you have in mind?”

You waited patiently for his response, trying your best not to shrink under his gaze. You were sure that his eyes were a large reason as to why he made such a great detective. When he focused his eyes on someone, it made them feel see-through; like he could see everything that made up that person. Like he could read your thoughts.

“Can I-“ he began, then stopped. It was rare to see him trip over his words. “I would like- would it be okay if we hugged?”

Lightning struck across the sky, and you flinched, startled by the sound. You looked up into the dark, trying to find the flash of light you knew was long gone. You spotted the thick, rolling clouds hovering above you, and you hadn’t noticed before. Then the thunder rumbled, and the cry was resonant, penetrating your bones as it rolled through you. Then slowly, rain began falling from the sky. A few drops landed on your face, and you could feel them beginning to stick to your clothes.

When your shock faded away, you looked back at your friend. He was looking at you intently, hunched over like always. You opened your mouth to respond, but L spoke before you.

“Let’s step inside,” he said, resting his hand on your shoulder like you had before, “you’re shivering.”

You hadn’t realised that you were, but as you looked down at your hands, you couldn’t deny the tremble. He stood and began packing up everything on the blanket, refusing your help when you offered even though the rain had picked up. It was steady now, easily soaking through your clothes and his in turn. Once everything was tucked away, he guided you inside, opening the door for you.

As you walked down the steps, your mind spun around his words. He had asked to hug you, someone who you thought would be pretty averse to physical touch. You were surprised he let you lay a hand on him at all, and even more surprised when he reciprocated the action. It could’ve just been an experiment, a test to see how it made him feel, but you found yourself reviewing your own results.

You hadn’t really touched L before. There was no reason to. Even when he fell out of his chair over the whole “Shinigami” thing, you let the others crowd him. Your hands had maybe brushed here and there when passing sweets or documents, but intentional, prolonged contact was never made until today. You couldn’t deny his behaviour had been odd lately, though that was to be expected with the stress he was under. You wondered if he was indulging out of curiosity or a fear of missing out on life.

You jumped again as another bolt of lightning struck across the sky, followed by the soft beginnings of rain, now slowly collecting on the glass walls around you. You began walking down the hall and jerked your head to beckon Ryusaki, who seemed deep in thought. You watched the rain grow, drops colliding and running down the glass. You stopped to trace the tracks left, your body shuttering against the cold.

“I’m sorry,” your friend spoke quietly, as there was no one but you here, and no reason to raise a voice. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

You looked at him with shock, but he refused to look at you.

“Ryusaki, I haven’t felt uncomfortable around you since we started this investigation. Why would that change now?” When he didn’t respond, you bumped his shoulder with yours, “Seriously though, if you ever do make me uncomfortable, I won’t let you live it down.”

“Good,” he said, nodding his head. “I’ll hold you to that.”

You both continued to stare off into the distance in silence. You began breathing out hot puffs of air and drawing in the condensation. Meaningless shapes littered the space as you got lost in your thoughts.

You felt stuck between knowing and knowing nothing. You knew that You cared for Ryusaki very much. You knew you trusted him with your life, and you always felt better when he was around. You knew that you desired his attention and approval more than anyone else’s. You knew that he was beautiful and kind. But you didn’t know if he felt any of those things about you. You didn’t know what those things meant. Or rather, you feared what they could mean, and what that would do to the both of you.

Your thoughts were interrupted once again when you felt a weight on your shoulders, and you looked down to see pale, slender hands embellished with tendons and glistening in the light. Your jaw dropped slightly, seeing him appear so close behind you in your shared reflection.

“You’re still shivering.” He didn’t look at you, his eyes obscured by his shaggy hair, “A blanket should help.”

You offered a kind, timid smile in thanks, turning to face him. Your cheeks filled with blood though you couldn’t quite pin down why. Maybe it was just because he was touching you again when he’s never really done that before. Or maybe it was the fact that he was concerned about you. Or maybe it was the intimacy of it all, how close he was and how gentle his touch was.

His hallowed, all-seeing eyes met yours and you lost your breath. You wanted to look away, feeling pierced by his gaze, but you couldn’t– you wouldn’t. “If this isn’t sufficient, let me know. It’s my fault you’re cold.”

“No, it’s not,” You chuckled as he adjusted the material on your shoulder, “I walked out willingly. Yeah, you baited me into staying with food and tea, but I saw your plan, and I decided to go along with it.”

L smiled shyly, “I never could fool you.”

Your brows furrowed, and your heart sank.

“Can.” You corrected sternly. “You never can fool me.”

“Ah, Of course.” L said, removing his hands from you and tucking them back into his pockets, “You’re too observant for me to keep a secret. You’re always the first in the room to know what I’m thinking.”

He didn’t directly address his slip-up– referring to himself in the past tense as if he had died –so you didn’t either, instead filing that away under “more things to bring up later”.

“What can I say?” You teased. “Great minds think alike.”

“That they do,” he muttered, though you could tell his mind had taken him far away again.

You turned back to the window, and he joined you there. The rain had picked up, the heavy clouds drawing nearer. Your body buzzed with the electricity in the air. You could feel the winds of change surging through the city, and it filled you with determination.

“You should change,” Ryusaki whispered, “you’ll catch a cold.”

“Please,” You said, rolling your eyes and landing on his. “We were out there for less than an hour, and it never dropped below four degrees.”

“That’s still rather cold,” He hid his eyes from you, and you missed the sparks he carried there. “Not to mention the addition of rain.”

“If you’re so worried about my immune system,” you quipped, “studies show that hugs can actually help fight illness.”

That got a reaction out of the man, whipping his head to look at you.

“Is that so?” He asked, amusement teeming in his thin, grey irises. “Is it the exposure to more germs?”

“Possibly,” You admitted, “But it’s mostly the stress relief. Hugs reduce your cortisol and noradrenaline levels, improving blood pressure and general heart health. Also, with both of our body heats working together, it might help warm me up.”

L brought his thumb to his lip again, pondering your words.

“Maybe you have a point.” He muttered, “Perhaps we should test this theory.”

You agreed but neither of you moved, both too afraid to make the first move. You had hugged people before. You had hugged your family and many friends, so hugging Ryusaki shouldn’t be that nerve-racking, and yet, your body was buzzing just at the concept.

Suddenly, L Spread his arms, his figure drowning in his baggy sweater. It happened in slow motion, or at least it felt like it did. He dove towards you, wrapping his arms tightly around you, unintentionally pinning yours to your side, and his chin landed on the crown of your head gently.

You tensed, not expecting him to just go for it. Your face was pressed into his chest, your nose brushing his collarbone because of how his sweater had shifted. You were suddenly self-conscious breathing on him, trying your best to make sure your lungs were expanding and contracting naturally, but you could feel the awkwardness in your muscles.

“I don’t think this is working,” He said, his jaw moving against your head, “Your heart rate has only elevated. This seems to be…bothersome to you.”

He slowly removed himself but remained close, focusing his trying eyes on you, hands back in his pockets. “Please, tell me how you feel.”

“Well, firstly, you surprised me.” You couldn’t help but chuckle. Laughter bubbled up due to his unwavering gaze that affected you, though you didn’t want to concede to that. “And second, I’m not sure that counted as a hug. You trapped my arms, so I couldn’t reciprocate it properly.”

“I see,” He said, not showing any emotion you could detect (And you had gotten pretty good at reading L at this point). “What can I do better?”

His determination was…adorable. He was adamant about this, about hugging you better. You wouldn’t have thought this was something he ranked so highly in importance, and you felt flattered.

“Open your arms again,” You instructed, scooting closer.

He followed your orders, his head tilting to the side in curiosity. You took a quick breath, then brought your arms around his waist, then rested your ear between his pecs. There you heard his heart. You expected a steady thrum, but instead, the muscle beat like a kick drum without cause. But you supposed if you only fed your body sugar and caffeine, your heart would go crazy too.

He was also much comfier than you expected his skin and bones to be. His frame felt right in your arms, and a word flitted through your mind: safe. He was safe here in your arms, and you felt safe here too.

You remembered then that he was still standing there with his arms fully extended, like an owl stretching their wings.

“You can wrap your arms around me like before now,” You said into his chest.

He did as you said, and you felt an instant relief. Your blanket was wrapped around him, and you were surrounded by L. He was soft, like the petals of a Gardinia– like the ones your mother used to grow. He smelled like chocolate and strawberries, though with his diet, you were sure he sweated out sugar. In the refracted light the droplets cast, it looked just like that, like sugar crystals dancing across his skin.

Your nose picked up hints of lavender you recognised as the fabric softener Watari swore by. You wanted to bottle the sents and wear them yourself. You found yourself snuggling in closer, drawn in by the comforts of L.

You sighed in contentment, closing your eyes. His heartbeat stabilized, beating slower but strong. Slowly, he adjusted himself, bringing his arms tighter around you and turning so his ear rested against you and not his hewn jaw. Many moments went by like that, with nothing but the instrumental played by the rain, steady breathing, and hearts beating. As time went on, your heartbeats began to sync, beating together. You felt warmth spread throughout you at the thought. You liked this. You liked being close to Ryusaki.

“How long do these usually last?” He whispered into the rich silence.

“It depends on the friends, everyone’s comfort levels.” You replied thoughtfully. “Some people only hug for a few seconds; others hold each other like this. But it’s recommended that you get at least four hugs a day.”

He hummed, considering your answer. “I definitely haven’t been fulfilling that quota.”

“It’s okay,” You said through a laugh, “Me either.”

“Perhaps,” L said, putting on his detective voice, “If you have found this as enjoyable as I, we could do this more often– try to reach that benchmark more. The act of hugging seems to increase my oxytocin levels, which feels different than the dopamine confections give me. If it affects you the same way, I think that could be good for us both.”

Your laughter danced across this skin. “I can’t believe you can feel the difference between happy hormones.”

“Of course I can.” He said, completely unphased by your disbelief. “Dopamine feels more like I’m doing a good job, and Oxytocin is…”

You waited patiently while he found the words.

“Oxytocin makes me more…sentimental,” He landed on.

“I guess that makes sense,” You mumbled into his chest. “Weirdo.”

He chuckled at the title that would have hurt coming from anyone else.

“I would be okay with that,” You said, addressing his proposal, “If we hugged more often.”

“Great,” He said, and you could hear his smile. L could feel how the cold continued to cling to your skin. Although hugs were supposed to help fight illness, he doubted it was a cure. “We should finish up then so you can change.”

He released his hold on you and began to pull away, but without thinking, you held on tighter, your brows furrowing.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“I’m not sure,” you said honestly. “I just don’t want to leave this.” L brought a hand to his chin, cradling it and trying his best not to jostle you. “Is it the hug that you want, or is it me?”

Your eyes bugged at his question. Immediately, you let go, creating distance as you jumped back. You reacted as if he had struck you instead of asking a straightforward question to better understand the situation.

Your mouth opened and closed a few times, not unlike a fish plucked from the water.

“Well, I- It’s uh…I mean- heh -what?” You stumbled. Again, L’s shark skin eyes bore into yours, dissecting every stutter and stammer.

“I believe the question was fairly easy to comprehend.” He said plainly, “I asked if it was the hug you wanted or me.”

You felt blood rush to your cheeks.

“I understood the question,” You weakly defended.

L’s head dropped once again to the side, his hair flopping loosely as he moved but still weighing down over his face.

“Then answer it.”

You swallowed. He had cornered you, baiting you by insinuating you weren’t as intelligent as he thought and getting you to confess that you in fact were not confused. But in truth, you were. Because it was true that you were extremely touched-starved. You had dedicated the better half of the last year to catching Kira. You hadn’t had time for much else. You weren’t exactly popular before either.

You were a criminal, a cyber-robinhood. You had stolen from several pharmaceutical companies and redistributed their funds to families in need. You thought it absolutely abhorrent that the companies could make money off of cancer and diabetes, depriving people of medicine they needed, not wanted. You had done it with your best friend, who was killed by Kira.

She had taught you the ropes and how to hide yourself from the authorities. She, however, had crossed the line. She began targeting government officials, leaking their private messages and phone records to the public. You would have thought that would align with Kira’s morals, but you guess not because she died of a heart attack in your arms. You hadn’t made a friend since, not until Ryusaki.

You didn’t want him to leave you too. You were terrified that he would be ripped away from you, much like your friend before. But it was more than that. You wanted Ryusaki to live. You wanted him to have a full life, one of joy and contentment. One where his intelligence wasn’t weaponised. One where he could let his guard down and not break his back with his posture. You wanted him to drown in hugs, to never be deprived of comfort again. And you wanted to be by his side to see it.

You had become very attached to the man before you. You admired him, respected him. You found yourself trying to be more like him in many ways. And you felt pride every time he mimicked you.

“I don’t know.”

L was unconvinced, leaning in closer, “Yes, you do. But you won’t say.”

You stared into his eyes, words eluding you. What could you say? You weren’t even sure what you wanted, what your answer would be. He looked at you curiously, awaiting your response. When you had none, he sighed.

“Fine then,” He said, turning his investigative gaze away from you. “I will escort you to your room. Hopefully, that will satisfy you.”

You had requested a room here at headquarters and were unsurprised when L told you that he had already built one for everyone on the task force. You had all but moved in during the Kira case. You hadn’t meant to, but it was just easier than taking the train alone after a late night of investigating. With no one to stop you, you would stay up until three ante merīdiem, studying and analysing trends. Sometimes you would crash at your desk, but usually, you would drag yourself away when you noticed your eyes becoming heavy. But now, your apartment was more of a formality than anything else. L knew this and made no comments on the matter. He was happy you stayed here instead, and that the rooms weren’t a complete waste of time and effort.

As you travelled through the silent halls, you brought your blanket tighter around your shoulders, tensing your jaw so your teeth didn’t chatter. Ryusaki seemed unbothered by the cold. He showed no signs of discomfort other than the way his shoulders folded forward more than they usually did. You wondered if he was just suppressing them or if he truly wasn’t cold. But then you saw a small shiver travel down his spine.

“You never told me,” you said softly, “what you were doing out there?”

His steady pace was unwavering, his bare feet gently padding across the tiled floors of the hall.

“Thinking,” He replied but offered nothing more.

“Of course you were thinking, that’s all you know to do. ” You joked, “What were you thinking about?”

He took a few more steps, then stopped. You continued forward until you were standing side by side. He stared ahead, but you turned to face him. You watched as his face remained flat, unchanged.

“I was thinking about my death,” he said plainly, continuing his previous pace. “I reviewed my mental record of my will, noting necessary amendments. Due to recent events, I felt it something I reconsider.”

Your stomach twisted at his casualness, and you looked away. How could he say that and have no feeling about it? Or rather, rationalize whatever feelings he had about the situation away?

“You-” You began, your words tripping over the lump in your throat, “you shouldn’t talk like that. You’re not going to die.”

You said it with finality, though your friend heard the subtle desperation, the fear beneath your bravado.

He stopped again, and when you turned to him, he turned as well. His eyes seemed almost hollow as he spoke.

“We all die. And I happen to find myself in a position in which I am taunting the reaper.”

L did a lot of staring, and this one you took as a personal challenge. He knew what you meant, and he was purposefully not addressing it. You weren’t backing down; you weren’t folding for him. The other members of the task force often forgot that he was human; you refused to forget. While he was smarter than anyone you had ever met, he wasn’t a supercomputer. He had hopes and dreams; he had fears.

“We’re here,” he said, interrupting this game of blink.

You hadn’t realised you had arrived at your room and hesitated at the door.

“Would you like me to step inside?” He offered.

You nodded.

“Very well then.”

He opened the door and you stepped in. He closed the door behind him, then stood a few feet into the room, scratching at his leg with his foot. You made your way to your closet, selecting a new shirt and some sweatpants, then went to your dresser, selecting new undergarments.

L looked to the wall after catching a glimpse of the lacey bra you balanced from your finger. You looked to your friend, ready to ask him to turn around, when you noticed his head already turned and a slight rosy hue crawling up his exposed neck. He was usually so devoid of colour; the splash of pink was a nice touch. You wondered what had flustered him and if it had anything to do with you. The thought made you excited, but you chose not to acknowledge that.

“I’m changing now,” You said, turning away from him.

L tried his best to keep his eyes off of you, but soon, your hands were in the air as you peeled off your shirt, and his curiosity won. His eyes traced over the exposed skin, counting the vertebrae up your back. His breath hitched slightly as you reached behind you and unlatched your bra. He caught himself imagining what it would look like if you were turned around and ripped his eyes away again. After all, you were his friend, and it was inappropriate to think such things about a friend. Especially one that trusted him enough to change in front of him. He would rather die than abuse your trust.

Soon, you were wiggling out of your pants, and his eyes betrayed him, following the movement of your hands. The cotton panties you wore were nothing special, plain and purple and a bit cheeky. It clung to the shape of your ass beautifully. His eyes bugged involuntarily, and he decided he could no longer trust himself to be facing you and turned his body.

As he faced the wall, he considered your interactions today. You had sought him out and then joined him outside despite knowing the discomfort the cold would bring you. Meaning you valued his amusement more than your comfort. You entertained his tangents and encouraged him to try new things, which meant that his general well-being must be something of importance to you. Why else would you go out of your way to protect it?

Yes, you wanted him to be happy and made that a responsibility of your own. You coached him through a new experience and reassured his insecurities about it. He had hugged you for two minutes and thirty seconds, but you had held him for two minutes and thirty-nine seconds. So you enjoyed the physical comfort, and obviously desired more, as you only stopped when he shocked you.

That’s right, you pulled away when he asked if you "wanted him." So enjoying his company was fine, but once "wanting" became a part of the equation, you rejected it. Or tried your best to. But you didn’t deny that you still desired his presence, allowing him to escort you to your room, where you took off your clothes in front of him.

When he looked at the incidents individually, it could all be chalked up to you being a good friend– one who trusted and respected him –but he was a better detective than that. He also knew to look at the big picture. In his mind, he replaced himself with other people, like puppets in a play, and saw how your reactions changed.

He found it hard to believe that you would allow someone else on the team to hold you for two minutes, lure you into the rain, or risk them seeing you in your underwear. Which begged the question, why do you treat him differently? How does your perception of him differ from the others?

Then it became abundantly clear, and he was shocked. The conclusion he came to seemed ludicrous, and yet, it was the only one that made sense-- the only one that stood with the evidence. How could this be? There was only one way to know.

He called your name and you hummed in response, putting on a new shirt and turning to face him.

“You evaded my question.” He remarked, still looking at the wall. “However, I think your evasion– and the several events surrounding it –has given me a more clear understanding of the answer you were guarding.”

You felt a general unease, not sure you liked the direction his inquisitive mind was heading. You wrung your hands anxiously in front of you, looking at the back of his head. You should have known L wouldn’t let that go.

“I told you I didn’t know.”

He turned quickly, catching you off guard. He was once again very close to you, his eyes dancing with curiosity and a bit of pride. It was a look you saw when he presented a theory based on new evidence he had finally made sense of that had previously baffled the team. You knew he was confident in whatever he had deduced and was more amused by your responses, watching carefully with a thumb pressed to his lip just a few inches away from your face.

“But I don’t think it was the complete truth,” he pressed, “which makes it a lie of omission.”

“I didn’t lie,” You quickly defended.

“But I saw it: a realisation flitting across your face. You looked at the evidence and came to a conclusion. You have some idea as to why you reacted to my question the way you did, and you have an answer. Does the answer put you in a position of vulnerability perhaps?”

You gaped at him, unsure how to respond. However, he continued to think aloud, answering your question for you with his own ramblings.

“Yes, that must be it. In answering whether you merely wanted more affection or me, it would force you to admit that you had a need that wasn’t being met. And since we had already discussed our general lack of affection in day-to-day life, revealing that you felt you wanted more hugs would not make you uncomfortable… no, it has to be me that you want. That’s the only reason you would react that way. Which makes me wonder, in what way do you want me?

“My phrasing may have impacted your response, as ‘want’ can mean different things in certain contexts. However, if you thought of me in a strictly platonic sense, you would not have assumed I meant anything more than my company. There is, of course, the possibility that previous interactions in male friendships lead you to believe I meant something else, but I think it is more likely that you interpreted it romantically because you have– on some level –romantic feelings for me. And by answering the question honestly, you would have revealed that.”

He paused for a moment before asking, “Am I right?”

Your brain was spinning, repeating every word he had said. He waited patiently as you mulled it over. You tried to disprove his theory, picking each line and defending the opposite, but it became harder and harder the longer you went on. You weren’t sure how you saw the man in front of you. He was your friend, someone you respected and cared for. You valued his opinion and you listened to his advice. But you couldn’t deny that you found him attractive. You had since you first met him.

After your friend had died, it didn’t take you long to piece together that it was Kira who killed her. You brought your theory to the police, but they didn’t take you seriously. Apparently, there had been many false reports of Kira's murders, and yours was the fifteenth report that day. You continued to argue, but you didn’t even get past the front desk. That night, when you got back home, you decided you would do everything you could to catch the killer. You broke into the police database– which was entirely too easy –then followed up with everyone they suspected. You used your skills to hack into the suspects' computers, scouring through their histories and files, but didn’t find anything incriminating. Except for one man.

He was too innocent, not even a record of porn on his computer. Most of his search results were quiz questions with brief breaks spent streaming funny videos. He was a studious pupil and the son of a cop. You consulted the police’s notes often and were surprised when they claimed it could be a student. Then soon after, the pattern of killings changed, further proving the theory.

You were convinced it was Light Yagami, but you needed more. So you tried to hack into L’s computer. You knew from the police notes of the meetings that L called in using a computer, meaning he had to have a Wi-Fi connection to talk to them in real time. It took you a while to hack the secure connection, and even longer to get into the computer. You felt defeated– outsmarted –when you realised the only thing on the device was whatever system he used for the calls and whatever connection he used for that was heavily encrypted.

You thought nothing more of the event until you were picked up off the street a few weeks later. You were grabbed and bound, the assailant immediately gagging and blindfolding you. The drive was long, and you were taken somewhere with winding hallways and cold rooms. You were restrained to a table, straps keeping you upright, and then your gag was removed.

You yelled in anger, cursing your capture and illustrating all the ways in which you would make them suffer for treating you this way. You only stopped when a robotic voice filled the room. It asked who you were, but you ignored its question, connecting the dots.

“You’re L,” You said plainly, “The renowned detective. You’ve solved every case you’ve ever taken on. And you apprehended me– confining me and taking away my vision –meaning you must think I’m Kira. You know who I am, that’s why you’ve taken me in.”

He confirmed your suspicions and listed out the crimes you had committed, and your behaviours that made him suspect you. You couldn’t deny his deductions, and instead of trying to prove your innocence, you told him about your own mission to catch Kira. You even apologised for trying to hack him as well, “but you understand, I had to try.”

He kept you tied up for a few, very long days, then let you walk around the room, giving you access to a bed and a few books. Now and then he would check in on you and offered to make amends for the misunderstanding. You only requested that he hear you out.

You told him about your theories and how you were disregarded by the police. He was the first person to tell you that he believed your friend was murdered and that it had more to do with them talking out against Kira online than the crimes they had committed. And that only angered you more.

Soon, he began to trust you. He showed you his face. He was nothing like you imagined, but everything you expected. He was odd; he looked almost sickly and was very deadpan. But he had a sense of humour, one that was just as odd as him. He was straightforward forward, and you didn’t have to wonder what he was thinking, as he often shared his thoughts. He was kind, having an obvious affinity for sweets, but always willing to share with you. He asked about you and your life, and you could tell he was cataloguing everything you had to say. He listened so intently when you spoke.

You only grew closer, looking forward to your meetings in the following weeks, and were elated when he told you about the new headquarters and how he wanted to introduce you to the rest of the team. He was impressed by your resourcefulness and intellect, but more importantly your passion. You were driven by revenge, but soon that changed. L believed in you, and you wanted to honour that.

Despite his quarks, you saw his soft underside, and it drew you in more. He was fascinating to you, alluring.

Was that normal for a friend? To simply see them and feel better, to seek out their company? Yeah, you guess it was, but you didn’t think it was as normal to think your friend is pretty. Friends don’t trace jaw lines or let their eyes linger on outstretched fingers and moving lips. Is that what you were feeling? Was your confusion and nervousness a result of an unrealised crush on your friend?

“Oh, I see,” Ryusaki mumbled, “It wasn’t an intentional lie; you only just now realised.”

You hated that he could read you as well as he could, and suddenly his proximity was suffocating. You stepped back, hiding from his gaze in your hands. It was bad enough that you had feelings for your best and only friend, but to come to that realisation in front of them –when they have the uncanny ability to practically read minds –was mortifying. You were cornered and unsure what to say. You didn’t even have time to consider what you wanted to do about your feelings before they were made known.

You could try to deny it, but you didn’t think that would work. Not against L. So you decided to look deeper. You had pieced together how your interactions proved you liked him, but how did L fare? You compared his behaviour towards you to the others. He was kinder with you, often wording things gentler to you than he would care to for anyone else. He provided confections to everyone, but he only offered you bites from his plate. He was more candid about his feelings with you, as well as his thoughts.

While he often toyed with the investigators, constantly testing their deductive reasoning and loyalty, L only asked what you thought to question his own conclusions. He valued your input more than others on the team, and you knew the task force was aware of that. if you were in the room, Ryusaki was always within arms reach. He never strayed far. He asked about your personal life, and he encouraged you to take breaks. He smiled and laughed around you, something you didn’t see in front of the others. You had seen L’s soft side, but only because he had shown it to you. He was vulnerable with you. But was that just friendship?

No, no there was more. Today, he cared for you, feeding you and treating you to a picnic. He apologised for your condition, completely disregarding his own. He did his best to atone for the wrong he felt he had done, going as far as to wrap you in his own warmth. He didn’t need to. He sought out the contact. Contact he didn’t look for elsewhere. Contacted he requested and asked for more of, in a less than graceful way. Tripping over words was out of character for the normally articulate detective.

He then stayed by your side, escorting you to your room, again, disregarding the fact that he too was cold and rained on. Furthermore, any other friend would have turned away from you while you changed, but he faced you. You remembered the blush on his face before you changed. Either the idea of you undressing or something he saw you were changing into caused that response. You had difficulty believing this came from a general lack of experience with women.

If Misa changed in front of him (which is an unavoidable event which has already happened with her room being monitored the way it is), you doubted he would have much of a reaction. Yes, you were sure. His flustered state was a result of you.

You removed your hands from your face and looked at the man of your affection. He wore a curious look, and you smiled.

“You’re not upset,” he observed, “Usually, people respond badly to my blunt deductions about their emotions. I expected you to yell or deny, but you’ve done neither.”

You chuckled lightly, “I don’t think there’s a way I could have denied that without further confirming your conclusion.”

“Well, your initial response of hiding from me was sufficient.” he said with a bit of smugness, “But I’m curious as to why you no longer feel the need to.”

“I don’t need to hide my feelings if you already know they exist,” you stated calmly, “And I’m sixty-seven percent sure you share my feelings, making them much less frightening.”

Rysuaki’s hidden eyebrows raised, and his eyes widened. You watched smugly as he said nothing, revelling in the pride of shocking even the great L.

You explained how you reached that conclusion, knowing that would be his first question. When you finished, he looked up to the ceiling, reevaluating the evidence. You watched as his careful mind picked apart your deduction and this time you allowed yourself to appreciate his unique beauty.

You traced the slope of his nose, following it down to the tendons in his neck and where his collar bones poked out from his baggy sweater. You greedily observed the way his clothes hung from his body, nearly swallowing him whole.

“It is true, I am rather fond of you. I made that more obvious than I intended, however, there’s nothing to be done about it now.” He admitted, “I can’t say I’ve ever had much of a love life or much experience with romantic feelings. I’m not sure how to proceed.”

You patted the spot next to you on the bed, and he crossed the room to join you. To your surprise, he sat with his feet on the floor, hands on his thighs.

“I think this a good place to start,” you said warmly. “We don’t have to do anything about it yet.”

He nodded but didn’t look at you. You could see the gears churning in his head, then you noticed his hands. There were impressions left in his thighs from his strong grip. Was it possible he was nervous? You couldn’t hide the delight the sight brought you. You thought it was adorable that you were something that could cause him so much grief. But you hated it too.

You placed your hand on his and he tensed slightly, but didn’t push it away.

“Hey,” you said softly, “Take a breath. Really, I don’t want you to stress over this. You have enough on your plate.”

He looked at your hand, his face level, silently assessing, and you allowed him the space to do so. His hand twitched a bit under yours before he turned it over, his palm meeting yours and his slender fingers weaving between your digits.

“What if-” he paused, as if not sure he should say what he was thinking. He took a breath as you instructed, then continued. “What if I want to do something about it?”

You couldn’t contain the smile that spread across your face, and you didn’t feel a need to.

“Then I would ask what you wanted to do.”

"It's not about what I want." He looked at you, eyes wide and panicked. “What if doing something is stupid and puts you in danger?”

You had never seen L so worked up before, and you were stunned for a moment. You realised he was letting you in, even more than before. He was letting you see his fear, something you're not sure he’s shown anyone willingly. And in this moment, you were reminded that he was just a young man. That his life had barely begun. Yet he had seen horrors you couldn’t imagine.

“If Light is Kira,” he continued, through gritted teeth. “then you are already endangered enough. But if our relationship is now romantic, he may use you to get to me. He would have no problem killing you if it brought him closer to his goal, and we both know that.”

“Ryusaki…” you tried, rubbing your thumb against the back of his cold, clammy hand. “He already knows I care for you. The others have been teasing me about my favouritism for months now. If he thought I knew anything, or that you would tell me anything, he would have already done it. If he could, he'd probably force me to write your name in the book somehow, so he didn’t have to do it himself.”

The fire in his eyes fizzled, and now he looked deflated again as if his anger was the only thing giving him the energy to fight.

“Then, I can’t tell you anything,” he concluded, “and that doesn’t make for a very strong relationship. One of secrecy where I’m forced to keep you at a distance…no that won’t do.”

He let go of your hand, looking away and rising to his feet. You felt that familiar tug in your heart, the one you felt at your desk when you realised he wasn’t beside you, the same feeling when he tried to end the hug. It felt like he was leaving you, and this time, it made you angry.

“Fuck that!” you said a little harsher than you intended. L turned to look at you in surprise; you had never raised your voice to him before (Aside from that time he arrested you and you didn’t know it was him you were cursing). “I refuse to let Kira make any decisions for me. That bastard doesn’t get to stop me from doing anything I want. And I want this, I’ll fight for it.”

You spoke with a vicious resolve, and L had to admit, it was intriguing.

“I’m done letting him ruin my life. I’m taking charge. I know there’s a way to prove it, to get him to confess. We can do it. We’ll catch that monster and frame his head on the wall.”

L was studying you; you could see it in his analytical eyes.

“‘Monster’ you say…” he wonders aloud, “There are many types of monsters; the one we face now... he’s a lying monster: He’s cunning, posing as a human, though having no understanding of the human heart. He works hard, but only to appease his own hubris. He seeks friendship even though he does not truly know how to love. I had once said, If I were to encounter such a monster, I would likely be eaten by them... because, in truth, I am that monster.”

He locks eyes with you, his gaze resolute.

“Tell me, honestly, how can you hate Kira and care for me? We are the same beast.” His body towered over yours, the shadows of the light obscuring his face under his hair. He was almost intimidating. “I do not fight for justice but my own amusement. How many lives have I disregarded all because I didn’t find the case challenging enough? How many people have I endangered solving this one? I allowed who I believed to be Kira intimate knowledge of the case, all because I thought it made the game more fun. I view people as disposable, just as Kira does, and manipulate them just as freely. Kira and I are cut from the very same cloth. Yet, you despise him and respect me.”

Your stare was hard and unforgiving. Rage shook your body, and L was sure that you had changed your mind. You hated him now, just as you should.

“No,” You said sternly, “You can lie to yourself all you want, but I won’t allow you to lie to me.”

You carefully lifted his chin, forcing him to hear you.

“You are flawed, yes. You certainly have an ego, but that doesn’t make you a monster. If you were presented with the power of the death note, you wouldn’t use it to make yourself a god. You don’t always fight fair, but the criminals you chase don’t either, and it would be silly to try for the high road. That is what makes you such a great detective. You do what needs to be done. But that’s not why I care about you.”

You saw a flicker of surprise on his face before he buried it once again.

“I care for you. Not L, the world’s greatest detective. I care for the man who treats me kindly and listens to my woes. I care for the man who checks in to make sure I’ve eaten and taken breaks. I care for the man who is so terrified of himself, he hides away from the world. I care for the man who was cursed with a brilliant mind and raised in a world of evil. I don’t care that you’re a genius, I’d love you dumb. I’m not interested in what you can do for me. I just want you.”

You watched as the man closed his eyes, unable to face your reverent judgment.

“You could step away right now, and I’d never think less of you. You could imprison Light, right or wrong, and I would stand by you. You could tell me that you don’t want this, and I wouldn’t fight you.” You moved your hand from his chin to rest against his cheek. “But if you bow down to Kira– admit defeat when your heart is still beating –I’ll never forgive you.”

His eyes snapped open, and he scanned your face, looking for a lie, but found one.

“We live in a world where gods of death are real,” you continued, “And that knowledge has made me realise even more that nothing in life is guaranteed. Nothing other than your own resolve. I chose life, and I wish you would choose the same.”

“You speak as if I am trying to kill myself.” he scrutinised.

“Since the arrest of Higuchi, you’ve stopped investigating," You pressed, "but we both know it’s not because you think we’ve stopped Kira. There’s still a second notebook- a second Kira. And I’m sure you’ve noticed the change in Yagami, almost as if coming in contact with the book has turned him back into Kira. I see the way he looks at you, the way he studies you. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

“I have,” he confirmed.

“Then why? Why have you stopped trying to catch him? If he is actively trying to catch you– to kill you –and you do nothing to stop it, you are killing yourself. You’re allowing him to win. And I can’t– no, I won’t catch him without you.”

“You wouldn’t avenge me?” He asked curiously.

“I’m here for my own selfish reasons,” you reminded him, “If you die, then everyone I have left will have been taken by Kira. What motivation would I have left to stop him?”

“I see…” he said flatly, “so if Kira is to be caught, we must both live to see it happen.”

“Yes, but more so, I would blame you for your death. Avenging you wouldn’t be possible, as you and your killer would be one and the same. I would hate you.”

His hand joined yours, guiding it away from his face and holding it at his side.

“I’m not sure I could rest knowing you hated me. Not when you’re the only person I trust and the only person I can say I’ve ever cared for– besides Watari, of course,” He said softly, “But in all honesty, I’m not sure what to make of it. I can’t control you, and I have no desire to, but allowing you to grow any closer to me is dangerous. And I would hate myself if anything happened to you.”

His fingers traced over the creases in your hand as he spoke, memorising the fate lines.

“But I can’t deny the attachment I have for you.” he continued, “It clouds my judgement, and I spend valuable time constantly correcting it. I’ve been indulging in delusions of running away with you. Taking you far away from the danger, placing you in a secure palace where you want for nothing, allowing you to lose yourself in all the simple pleasures your poetic mind can conjure. I would rather collect a list of books for your library than face Kira at the moment.”

You felt like crying, his words striking your heart. While it was easy to deduce that he favoured you over the others, such a blatant confession wasn’t something you expected. You knew this fantasy was built in his mind as something to make you happy, but you knew that this was something he wanted as well. To live a life of ease, not as a pawn to world governments. To be free to have intelligence and not be weaponised. You realised then, he was tired. He was exhausted from chasing Kira, exhausted from comparing himself to the enemy.

“Let’s get out of here then.”

He looked at you curiously.

“You can afford a break, a real one. Your mind is scattered, and you can’t possibly expect to outsmart Kira if you’re worrying about everything else.” You explained, “I’ll talk to Watari about planning a secure getaway for you but for now…”

You softly grabbed his hand and led him towards the door, “We’re going to your room so you can change. Then we’ll discuss what we’re doing for the night.”

He allowed you to lead him down the hall, saying nothing while you travelled. He only spoke again after you stepped into his room.

“I am not often surprised,” he marveled “But you continue to amaze me. I can’t predict you. You’re courageous and strong-willed, but always kind. You’re extremely brilliant, but you’re humble about it. But most amazingly, you believe in me– not because of what I’ve done, but because of who I am –and I’ve never met someone who could separate the two.”

You flush under his praise, “You say you can’t predict me, but I swear, you see right through me.”

“I’m sorry,” he said with panic in his eyes, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

You laughed, the sound affecting L more than he expected. He loved it, loved making you laugh. He wanted to do it as much as possible, but that was something to figure out later.

“You didn’t,” you reassured, “but I do have something you can do to make it up to me,”

L smirked, knowing you were teasing him.

“I don’t understand. I didn’t offend, but you claim I need to make amends.”

“You don’t have to. It’s completely up to you.”

“What is it you would have me do?”

You didn’t answer with words, instead spreading your arms and then making a grabby motion towards him. Your smile was soft, gently pulling at your lips.

“Yes,” he said sweetly, “I suppose we could both use a boost of oxytocin.”

He took slow steps towards you, and then all at once, his arms were around your waist. He pulled you into him, lifting you slightly off the ground, bringing your neck to his hung head. You felt goosebumps where his nose nuzzled into your skin and your heart grew wings, soaring. You held L just as tightly, indulging in his desperate touch and burying your nose into his silky hair.

“I think we should revise our previous agreement about hugs.” He said after a moment, speaking into your throat.

“What amendments would you like to make?”

“I think four hugs a day is fine, but I don’t think we should limit ourselves to that. We do need to make up for our lack of hugs in the past after all. Furthermore,” he lifted his head slowly, so as not to knock you in the nose. He would feel horrible for that. “I think we could add or substitute hugs for other forms of affection as well.”

You hummed, and he continued.

“For instance, you have held my hand twice today, and both times, I felt a similar sort of comfort from the action. In fact, I’ve noticed any skin-to-skin contact with you eases me. Your hand on my face proved that. I tested this theory twice. Once, before our confessions, on the blanket. I placed my hand on the one you had placed on my shoulder. Then again, in your room, by simply touching your hand, tracing your palm instead of holding it. Both yielded similar results.”

You smiled at him fondly, your hands reaching up to play with his hair. As your nails skated across his scalp in lazy circles, his eyes fluttered a bit, his lids resting heavier.

“So you would like to add hand-holding? I’m fine with that.”

Your sweet voice flooded his mind, and your hands liberated his composure.

“Either you’re completely clueless to the effect you have on me,” he whispered, “Or you revel in it. And I’m not sure which is more terrifying.”

Your heart skipped a beat, which startled L for a moment, but then he realised it was because of an emotional response and not an attack from Kira.

“I wonder the same about you.”

L was unfamiliar with the look in your eyes. Your pupils were dilated, and your irises sparkled in the light. He’s never been looked at like that before. Your face looked brighter, and your body language (while restricted in your current position in his arms) was relaxed; open. And suddenly, he was entranced by your lips. You were talking, and he studied the muscles as they moved, unable to focus on anything else. He felt the urge to kiss you, and this shocked him. He forced himself to pay attention to your words.

“...besides you have all the power really. I know what I want, but if you don’t want me there’s nothing I can do about it. I could never kill you, but even if Kira forced my hand, I don’t know your name. And you’re the only one on the team who knows mine. Whether I like it or not, my heart is in your hands.”

“I would never hurt you,” he quickly defended, almost offended.

“I know,” you said simply, “That’s why I trust your hands.”

Your gaze was unwavering, your stance absolute. The emotions L tried to contain began stirring restlessly. He no longer felt like he had a hold on them. A hurricane of feelings he couldn’t quite name tore through his chest, and he didn’t know what else to do but act. He surged forward, pressing his lips to yours. It was awkward and brief, as neither of you puckered your lips, just touched them together. He kept his watchful eyes wide as he did so, gauging your response.

“Was that a kiss?” You finally asked once your silent shock was replaced by a highly amused smile.

A small frown overtook L’s face. “I fear if you had to ask…”

His sentence trailed off as he sat you back down on the ground. Then turned to walk to his closet. His was much larger than yours (which was ironic given he wore the same clothes for days straight), and you assumed he elected to change there when he closed the door. Now that he was out of sight, you allowed your excitement to show, jumping up and down and shaking your hands.

He had kissed you, almost. It was obvious that he didn't have the experience, but your heart swelled at the thought that he wanted those experiences with you. And he did kiss you, he held you in his arms, for no other reason than to hold you close.

You tried your best to calm down, but your bright smile would fool no one. Instead, you tried to focus your attention elsewhere, calling Watari. He had given you his number (or a number) months ago. He told you it was because he saw that you cared for his son and that his son trusted you. He also confessed that he was rather fond of you too. He wanted to see you make it out of this investigation.

He answered almost immediately.

“Hello, Ms Ogawa,” He was always careful to use your alias, even if he knew you were alone. “I notice that you’re calling from within headquarters, are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine. I was calling because I convinced Ryusaki to take some time off. I need you to plan a trip for him, no shorter than a week but something that’s easily extendable.”

The old man chuckled on the other end of the line.

“You convinced him to take a break? I didn’t think anyone was capable; I wonder how you managed.” He seemed amused, implying he knew something through his old man wisdom.

“I’m not entirely certain I did,” L emerged from the closet, looking nearly identical, just less soggy. You smiled at him as he made his way towards you. “But I’ll be very cross with him if he doesn’t. I think he knows that.”

The man you spoke of raised a single eyebrow as if to say, “Oh really?”

You made a similar face that left no room for argument.

“I see,” Watari continued, “Shall I book this trip for one or two?”

You couldn’t hide your surprise at the question. You didn’t know how to answer. You didn’t have to though as L decided then to grab the phone from your hand, pinching it awkwardly between his fingers.

“Two,” he replied on your behalf. “We’ll also need a cover so that the others don’t know we’re together.”

“Understood. How soon would you like to leave?”

L returned the phone to you, trusting your decision.

“We’ll leave tomorrow. We have plans for tonight, and I’d like to rest beforehand.”

“That’s very wise, Ms Ogawa. I’ll send over the itinerary soon.”

“Thank you, Watari.”

You hung up, placing your phone back in your pocket. When you looked up, L’s hand was extended, offering you a sweater.

“If you intend to go out,” he explained, “You’ll need a sweater.”

You took it gratefully, and he turned his head again, giving you space to change. When you finished pulling the shirt over your head, he looked up and felt like he had swallowed his tongue. He never anticipated that seeing you in his clothes would affect him this way. He was truly smitten by you, and that was something he could no longer deny.

“Ready?” You asked, disrupting his train of thought.

He nodded, and you offered him your hand. A small smile spread across his face as he took it. He trusted your hands too, he realised.

You reached the garage, selecting an inconspicuous sedan for your ventures. L moved to open the door when you stopped him.

“Wait!” Your heart was in your throat, but you closed your eyes and forced out the words. “My favourite flowers are poppies. I think it’s cool how versatile they are. The moon absolutely amazes me. I understand how its gravitational pull affects our tides, but I still can’t wrap my mind around it. I also really like The Smiths, which raises conflicting feelings in me because I hate Morrison as a person, but man, if he isn’t great as crying into a microphone.”

You heard a soft chuckle and felt a hand reach out to hold your bicep. You took a deep breath, continuing with Ryusaki’s encouragement.

“I prefer a good milkshake over any other dessert. I think time travel is probably the coolest superpower, but I think it’s too great a power that I wouldn’t trust myself with it. I like cats, but I’ve always wanted a pet raccoon. I don’t think I could get one, morally, but they just look so cute. If I had one, I would love that little guy so much. I would give him a really pretentious name; find a way to grant him Lordship.”

You opened your eyes slowly to see Ryusaki smiling, his thumb tracing circles on your arm. His eyes darted around your face, twinkling in city lights. His heart pounded harder with every word you uttered. Romance was never something he prioritised in his life, it wasn’t something he ever saw happening. Most people were put off by him, and it wasn’t often that he actually met people in his work. He could have lived the rest of his life hiding behind a computer screen, an imperceivable entity known only to one man. But now, he would give anything to stand in the sun with you while you look at him the way you do now. Affection and amnesty dripping from your gaze.

“I’d like to try and kiss you again,” he said timidly. “If you’d show me how.”

Your smile split your face, feeling overjoyed by his words. Each move you made, he mirrored, hands on cheeks and bodies touching as he matched your steps forward. You jumped up on your tiptoes, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. Ryusaki’s eyes widened comically, and a hand rose to his lips as if he’d find your kiss there. But soon, his shock dissipated, replaced by a look of hunger.

This time, he led, dropping a hand to your waist to hold you close and using his other to lift your chin. He moved in so slowly, and your body thrummed with the anticipation of contact. He stopped, his lips barely grazing yours, and you couldn’t hide your desperate tremble when you felt his soft breath against your own. He pressed his puckered lips against yours, and you took no time reciprocating.

You brought a hand to the back of his neck, guiding him and pulling him closer. You felt like you were flying, your heart beating its feathered wings against your ribcage. You pulled your lips away just to bring them back, and you could feel his confidence growing as he tilted his head and his grip on your waist grew tighter. You began moving your lips against his, testing the waters. The rhythm was awkward at first, but he caught it soon enough.

His chest was rising and falling quickly against you, and he brought his hands up to hold your face. You lost yourself in his touch, in the way he clung to you. You were being consumed and felt no dire to run from it. He caught your bottom lip between his teeth, and you gasped.

Your eyelids flutter as your brain caught up to what was happening around you. Ryusaki was no longer kissing you but carefully cataloguing the look on your face in his mind. He was reviewing everything he did and how you reacted to it. He had decided that he loved kissing you, and he wanted you to love it too. He wanted love to be something you associated with him, especially now that he knew his brain was making a similar connection. He knew it was probably too soon to say something like that, but he could wait. He would wait forever if he had to. He had the brightest star in the sky in his palms, and he didn’t intend to let this shooting star fall from his grasp.

You were seeing sides of L that you never thought you would, ones you never thought to look for. He held you like a precious stone, something sacred. He looked at you like you were a wonder to behold, the eighth wonder of the world. It made it hard to breathe, suffocated by his silent adoration.

“So, where are we going this evening?” He asked from high above.

“I don’t know,” you said breathlessly, “but we have all of Tokyo, I’m sure we’ll find something.”

He loved this look on you. The joy in your eyes, the lack of stress in your muscles. Your glee was infectious, and he didn’t mind it.

“As long as you’re by my side, I think anything would do.”

He testingly laid a kiss on your forehead as he said it, and you felt like you would melt to the floor in a pile of goo. You removed a hand from his neck, resting it on his, and were delighted when he instantly intertwined your fingers.

“Well, I’m not going anywhere, Ryu-”

“Lawliet,” He interjected. You tilt your head, confused, and L does his best not to swoon as you rest your head in his hand on your cheek. “My name is Lawliet.”

You break out into a blinding grin, and Lawiet knows then that smile was the sunlight he was meant to bask in. Those were the rays that would light his darkest nights. The beams that would guide him through the intricate maze of life.

He had found all he needed. A friend who listens to his grief and grievances. One who cares enough to try and understand his mind and soothe it at the same time. Not for her own convenience, but for his betterment; never pushing the boundary of discomfort but bringing thrill to the change. He found a fresh pair of eyes, for when his get dull and tired, to show him the artistry outside of the ghastly monstrosities he and the world bathed in. A person brave enough to show up, even on the bad days. The whole world could fit in his palms when he held you like this.

“I’m not going anywhere, Lawliet.” you corrected.

L smiled, squeezing your hands three times. You returned the sentiment with a kiss to the hand you held in your own.

Tag List: @barbecuetiddy, @Isshecrazyorissheclever, @purple-amaranthe, @rudy-the-winged-wolf, @scorpiolystoned, @supernerdycookietrashblrr, @tayswiftlovebot, @wannapizzamymindposts, @whoreforklitz

I hope you enjoyed the read! Like I said, I don't think I'll do much writing for L, but I really enjoyed this. I hope even if you don't have as much love for this character as I do, you can still get something out of it :))

#rancid writes #death note #death note fanfiction #death note l #death note imagines #death note l lawliet #death note fluff #fluff #l lawliet #l death note #l x reader #l lawliet x reader #death note characters #friends to lovers

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theblueflower05 · 11 months

Note

Ayo saying that Ao'nung is criminally underrated

So imagine he been like acting up right? Fights, tempers been blowing, and his 'punishment' is to do work with you/reader who is the clans designated calming woman 🤣 ?? Anyways, so like you been working with him for a week or so, he's made zero progress. You can't deny that he is indeed scrumptious so you offer another way for him to relax, to stress relieve him. Basically you become an outlet for him yknow yknow 🤣

- 🍒

I WANT TO KISS YOU RIGHT ON THE FUCKING MOUTH THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING AONUNG I LOVE THIS MERMAN SO SO MUCH.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: stupid amounts of smut. Oral(male and female receiving) Cock warming. Ao’nung being obsessed with the reader and her magical healing pussy. You know, norm lol

Smut beneath the cut!

You fustrate Ao’nung.

Which is funny, because you do the complete opposite to the rest of the clan.

You’re highly spiritual, closer to Ewya then anyone she’s ever met claims his mother. You’re centered in who you are, mature beyond your young years.

You’re not the ocean, with its ever changing tides, but the beach. The sand, the earth.

You work closely with the Tsakarem, but your approach to medicine is different.

“It’s in the mind” you whisper, voice airy and light “your body can never be well if your mind isn’t”

It’s why he’s been sent to you.

His father had had it with his temper and the fist fights that resulted from it. Tonowari would not tolerate another minute of it.

Ao’nung could handle grunt work; shucking shells. Cleaning out the bed pots for compost. He was good with his hands, if he just kept them moving he’d be fine.

What he can’t handle is being stuck with you, for hours on end, doing nothing.

Your Mauri is on the smaller side, but cozy. It reflects you perfectly. Healing herbs grow from clay pots. Sun catches and wind chimes sway in the breeze from the open window.

Heavy fragranced incense plumes clog his nose.

He knows everyone else loves it in here, children and elders alike flock for your company and attention.

But he hates it. It’s stuffy and boring.

He thinks he puts on a pretty good mask though. Doesn’t outrightly tell you that he’s pretty sure you’re a fucking fraud and all of this is bullshit.

He sits with you on the woven mats infront of your alter. Legs crossed, hands resting on his knees as you lead him through guided meditation.

“Close your eyes” you’d instructed and he’d followed “Empty your thoughts let the Great Mother flow in”

You hum, the vibrations musical and pleasant sounding and all in all it shouldn’t be that horrible of an experience.

Except for the fact that he feels no calmer then yesterday. Or the week before. Or the month before that.

His face is all scrunched up, his hands fists on his thighs instead or resting palms. He’s so obviously wound tighr.

“Ao’nung?”

You call for him, and he peeks one eye open.

“This isn’t really helping you, is it?” You don’t sound upset or hurt. Just observant. Your big blue eyes patient and kind.

“Um-“ he starts fully intending to lie to you. But those eyes…”not really, no”

Your mouth quirks and your ears wiggle. Like your taking his words and focusing hard on them.

You stand then, all graceful limbs, and place a thin finger on your chin “when do you feel most relaxed?”

That’s not an easy question to ask. It’s too big- he can’t really compute it. Mostly because he can’t remember the last time he was truly relaxed-

He shakes his head. Shrugs his shoulders “Come on, Y/N. Let’s just get this done and appease my father”

“I don’t spend my afternoons with you to appease your father” you sigh, even then he can’t sense an ounce of frustration on you. Perma composed “I spend this time with you trying to help you, I want you to find peace”

He has to fight a scoff. Wants to roll his eyes. Peace, yeah okay.

“Think very hard- when was the last time you felt the weight of the world off your shoulders? The last time that you relaxed your jaw? Even if it’s silly, tell me” you push on, gently.

Huh.

The last time he unclenched his jaw?

He can feel the tips of his ears go pink as the memory resurfaces. A few nights ago he got a moment to himself, snuck down onto the empty beach. Shoved his hand in his tweng and fisted his leaking cock-

“I don’t know if it’s appropriate…”

You giggle, it twinkles like your wind chimes, as you approach him. Behind his broad back. Your small hands rest on his big shoulders. “When has that ever stopped you?”

You’re sun warm and smell of water flowers. Your presence steady and comforting behind him. It prompts him to talk.

“I made myself come about a week ago, it felt good. I felt relaxed” he admits and you hum again.

Your hands still on him.

“I see. You take a more physical approach to mental wellness, there is no shame in that” you start, as your dainty fingers begin to dig into the meat of his shoulders. Working at the tight knots with finessed expertise “Do you have a lover?”

He had many. “You could say that”

“No, no. I don’t mean a warm body to fuck for the night. Do you have a lover, that you can trust to take care of your needs?”

Again, his mind is blank. Why do you ask him these questions? And better yet- why can’t he answer them?

You don’t force him to speak. Instead you keep massaging him, as you start up that sweet little hum again. It feels so good that Ao’nung stars to lean back into you, biting down on his lower lip hard to stop the sounds that are building in his chest

“Do you know what brings me peace of mind?” You inquire, offhandedly, as your fingers creep into his hair.

You release the tight bun on the back of his head, and his dark hair falls in waterfall like curls around his head. The tension of keeping it so tightly back released. It feels so nice-

“Hmm?” Hes dazed. Melting into a puddle or your making.

“Trust” you say simply.

That’s so stupid. He tells you so. He regrets it though, thinking you’ll stop your ministrations.

You don’t of course, you keep going. Unfazed.

“I trust the people around me, our clan. Our village. We are good strong people, we take care of each other. I trust the ocean, the give and take of the life cycle. I trust our mother Eywa- I feel safe and held in her embrace” your words are hypnotic, spoken low and true “and I trust myself, to honor my needs. When was the last time you truly honored yours, Ao’nung?”

There only you and him in the empty room. Your humming and the smell of fragrant burning herbs surround him.

Trust, you say.

He trusts you. It’s a stark revelation. He almost can’t believe it.

“I…” he clears his throat, trying to continue “I’m supposed to take care of others. Not the other way around. I am future Olo’eyktan. I do not have time for such trivial matters”

Again. Those little sighs.

When you press your plush lips against his cheek he almost shoots up off the floor. His eyes go wide and he lurches a bit.

“I see now that I’ve been taking the wrong approach” you tell him, apologetically as you get up. Coming to stand in front of him once more.

You hold his gaze, never breaking eye contact as you begin to undress.

Your motions are fluid, it’s almost a dance, as you slide your tweng down your shapely legs. As you unclip the seashell pin that holds together your gossamer top.

You stand in front of him completely nude. He traces your womanly figure with his eyes. Your full breasts, the smooth lines of your flat stomach, the curve of your hips.

He zeros in on the mound of your pussy. He can feel his mouth water and a wave of desire surges through him as he reaches for you.

“Maway” you coo as you step into his arms. Sinking down into his waiting lap “calm, Ao’nung”

As he tastes mouthfuls of your skin he thinks that he might have found the antidote to his raging temper.

———————————

He tests this theory, often.

When he tangles his fishing net beyond repair, and then rips it right down the middle right as he’d almost had it loose-

He fucks you from behind on the moonlit beach. His hand clamped over your mouth as he loses himself in your heat.

When him and Tsireya get into a heated argument about how to handle an internal affair within the village- and she throws the fact that she’s older then him and will be Tsahik first-

He makes you bounce on his cock until you can barley move, your knees giving out and his hips snapping up to keep moving inside of you.

When a bad storm destroys docs and he has to spend days repairing it-

He fucks your throat, brutally. Watching as you sputter on his cock. Your eyes, always so sage and peaceful, water horribly. Tears roll down your pretty cheeks. When he comes, he makes sure to pull you off so that he can watch the fat milky globs soil you even further

It works. Your methods. You are a skilled healer after all, you have found a way to calm the chiefs son.

Everyone is surprised, in awe.

Tonowari is over joyed and Ronal is grateful. You try to take it all in stride. This is what you do. You help people find their inner peace.

But it’s not the same as everyone else. Ao’nung is so different, he means so much more to you.

While you had helped him find his own balance- he had unbalanced you. You’re needy, jittery. You crave his touch, his kisses, his thick cock.

His love. You crave that most of all.

As much as you meditate and talk to Eywa, you can’t seem to recenter. You’re not whole until you’re in his arms.

Most nights, Ao’nung ends up in your hut. Your bedding smells like him, he’s very familiar with their softness.

He has you spread out, exactly like he loves.

He his face inbetween your thighs as he eats your wet cunt. It’s like a cradle. He’s serene as he feasts on you. Eyes closed, Aonung prays to the Great Mother as you stroke his hair lovingly.

You have your alter- he has his. You sweet cunt makes him feel closer to the spirit of Pandora then any prayer circle ever did.

“Love it” he mutters, his tongue still lapping at your swollen clit.

You can’t form words. They were all tongue fucked out of you two orgasms ago. You can only squeal and nod.

“Love this pussy. Need it. Always” he continues, his voice muffled by your thighs. He sounds drunk. So relaxed “Need you always”

You’re too gone to fully comprehend it.

There was never any fighting it to begin with. The Olo’eyktan had tasked you with the taming of his wild son. Anything to quell that ever burning fire in Ao’nung.

Who knew that all it would take is you spreading your legs?

UM I LOVE YOU AONUNG. Seriously. He so fun and different to write for and everyone needs to start writing him and stop neglecting my lil fish baby. @cinetrix I thought about you while I wrote this because I know how much you love our best Metkayina boy!

But the real question is; how am I supposed to not make this a series? LOL YOU GUYS KINK REQIESTS ARE TOO GOOD.

#aonung x reader #ao’nung smut #Ao’nung x reader smut #aged up aonung

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outsideratheart · 2 months

Note

The Ashley Sanchez Future With You (maybe something leading up to a proposal?)

- Writer

An Italian sunrise with a surprise (Ashley Sanchez x reader)

The off season was in full effect. You had taken a trip with your friends, your girlfriend included of course, and now you were in Italy on a family vacation.

After your conversation with Ashley you began to seriously consider marrying your girlfriend. The first thing on your to do list was find a ring that suited her and that showed how much you loved her. Much to your surprise this was rather easy. Instead of traipsing round every jewellery shop in the city, you decided to design one yourself. A one of a kind ring for a one of a kind woman.

The sun was barely visible over the horizon as you sat on the balcony. You had been up for just over an hour, your thoughts had been too loud for you to sleep.

On the table in front of you laid a velvet box.

This is where you would do it. It’s had been planned out for months. All you had to do was keep it together until then.

“Baby, it’s still early. Come back to bed” Ashley hoped to bury herself into your arms, not turn to find an empty bed.

“Watch the sunrise with me, Ash” you turn to face her and hold your hand out.

You can see her thinking about it. Ashley was many things but a morning person was not one of them.

“Please” it was a plea backed with softness.

She shook her head before grabbing on of your t-shirts. Once out on the balcony she takes her place on your lap and sees the reason why you had asked her to stay with you. The sunrises in Italy were the most beautiful she had ever seen.

“What’s this?” Ashley goes to reach for the box but you quickly take it off her. Deep down she knew what it was and she didn’t want to ruin whatever you had planned.

“It’s not in there. Look” you opened the box to show her it was empty.

“Would a ring have been in there?”

“It does look like one would fit” you tease her “would you still say yes?”

That night in your childhood home has turned into a core memory. It changed everything in your mind. It cemented just how much Ashley loved you and how much you loved her.

“I would. If I’m being honest I thought you would have asked by now. You never have been the most patient person”

It’s like something clicked. Ashley was right, you aren’t patient. When you want something you get it and for the last couple of months you have wanted nothing more than to make Ashley your fiancée.

“Wait here!” You use your strength to lift her up and place her gently on the chair the two of you were sat on.

You all but run to your parent’s room which was at the end of the hall. You knock rapidly on the door hoping that one of your parent would be up.

“Hi dad. It’s time. I need it” you don’t say anything else and a few second later he comes back with the ring.

“Don’t stress. Keep it simple”

Don’t stress. It’s like he didn’t know you at all.

Ashley is in the exact same place where you left her when you return. When she looks at you, you have no doubt that this is the best decision you will ever make.

“You gave it to your dad, didn’t you?” A smirk is plastered on her face.

“Yes I did. You’re a snooper so you left me with no choice”

You took a deep breath. Keep it simple, that’s what your dad said. You got down on one knee and took Ashley’s left hand in your own.

“For many years I have known you are the one for me. It wasn’t like a switch flipped. I just remember waking up one morning and realising that I never want to wake up without you. Everything that life has to offer, I want to experience with you. I have loved being able to call you mine for the last 8 years but I know I’ll love this next chapter even more”

Ashley listened to every word you said. She could have interrupted you and said yes straight away but she wanted to savour this moment.

“I love you with all my heart Ashley Sanchez and right here, right now, I promise to love you and cherish you until the end of time. Will you marry me?”

“Y/L/N, I told you once before that I would marry you and now I will tell you again. Yes, yes. A million times yes”

#woso x reader #uswnt x reader #Ashley Sanchez x reader

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drawingdroid · 8 months

Text

To be taken care of

Pairing: Din Djarin x AFAB!Reader

Summary: Spotchka makes Mando show his desire to take care of you.

Word count: 4k

Warnings: Bounty Hunter!Reader, soft!Din, set before Season One, smut!!!, little plot for context, but also FLUFF!, v fingering, no gendered words used, no y/n, alcohol, dirty talk, drunk sex, hint of praise kink, mirror kink, feelings???, reader is clueless about them tho, kind of sinful use of the helmet sorry armorer!

A/N: Hi!!! This is the first time I’m writing for this fandom OMG. I have little experience writing fics and I’m not 100% happy about this, but hey I had fun while typing smut at work! Also English is not my mother tongue and I have no Beta only Grammarly, although I edited this thoroughly, so sorry if this is awkward hehehe, I’d love to hear your thoughts about it!

You both probably had exceeded your tolerance limit with the spotchka that the kind people of Sorgan had gifted you on your last visit to the planet. Everything started with an excruciating hunt that had taken a toll on you and your bussiness partner. When the trandoshan male you’d been persecuting for weeks was finally frozen in carbonite, both of you sighed in relief and then your gaze met with his behind the visor. Neither of you were very talkative, your silences sometimes speaking louder than words. In addition, you both where extra grumpy that night because of the tiredness. Limping because of your sore muscles, provoked by hiding lying down on the hard floor for hours, you went directly to the spot where your provisions were. He tilted his head, curious. Normally after a hunt, you run to the shower to clean the grime accumulated from the days on the run.

Mando's questions were rapidly resolved when you triumphantly showed him the blue bottle and two metal mugs you used for everything. You must be a minimalist in a ship like the Razor Crest, which was definitely not designed for habitability. You also showed him the reusable straw you got him so he could drink in front of you on the field without worrying about his Creed. He fixated his helmet on you and finally nodded, so you poured him the spotchka filling the cup to the brim and then did the same for you. Next you let yourself slip down the metal floor with a heavy thump, too exhausted to stand for a minute more. He followed you and soon you found yourselves toasting lazily on the ground and drinking in silence.

“You did great today, mesh’la.” He said after emptying his mug for the first time that evening. You downed your beverage on your lap and looked at him as if he had gone nuts. In your time with him, he’d never praised you for your work. It was just expected that you gave your 100% in your hunts, right? You were after all partners, business partners. Associates. That sometimes fucked, alright. But you both kept things professional. So why did his praise affect the color of your cheeks that much?

“Thanks, Mando.” You muttered after finishing your spotckha too, offering to fill his mug again by raising the bottle towards him. He nodded and his gaze didn’t leave you this time. The truth was that Din was impressed by your performance in this last job. He knew you were a capable bounty hunter, of course, or he wouldn't have asked you to join him in the first place. It was only for one job initially, but you’d been so resourceful and worked so well along with him that he had to request you to join him full-time.

In the field, you always had his back, saving his metal ass more than one time, and your perception and ability to read people’s intentions was incredibly useful. Even though you weren't Mandalorian, he respected you as a warrior as if you were one of them. Not only respect, he felt admiration towards you.

And then it was the other side of your partnership. The one that occurred in the dark, rushed, your flushed skin against the cold beskar and soft sighs fogging his visor. The first time occurred after a near-death experience, the adrenaline ended in you being pressed against the wall in some alley by his beskar-clad body. He discovered you weren’t only outstanding at bounty hunting, but in other disciplines too.

Your intercourses would usually happen after a hunt gone south when both of you were especially frustrated and needed to let some steam off. You had three unspoken rules about them: you never talked while fucking, it was always done in the dark, and you never mentioned it afterwards. And of course, the helmet stayed on. You could never have imagined that you'd break all of the rules the current night.

You both had emptied the second round by the moment Mando spoke again. "I'm glad you accepted to be my business partner." His voice through the modulator caught you off guard, as you were lost in thought at the moment. He wasn't looking at you this time. You wondered if he was already drunk because he was behaving so off-character.

"You only say that because you love my stew." You chuckled nervously while pouring another mug for yourself. He asked his to be filled too and half of the spotchka was already gone. You could feel your palms against the glass sweaty: this opening-up-with-Mando thing was new for you.

"No…Yes, I mean… I do love your stew." It actually was the best he'd tasted and a great change from the ration packs he'd usually consume while on the Razor Crest. Mando played with the metal straw in his drink as if it was filled with your star recipe. "But what I'm saying is…it's nice to have you around." You looked at him quizzically, without a clue about where this conversation was directed or what was he referring to. Like he enjoyed your presence? Impossible. You rarely even spoke and didn’t know a lot about each other. Just enough to know you could trust your partner in the field. Maybe he was referring to sex. You knew he enjoyed it, as you did too. It was hot and somewhat felt forbidden. But anything in his cryptical tone indicated he was talking about sex, and it would be a first between you. Finally you decided he must be speaking about your job, you worked well together for sure.

"I suppose…we make a good team." Your half smile was timid and Mando surprised himself when his heart skipped a beat at your smile, but he was a bit disappointed. That was not what he was referring to. Sometimes he wished to be as talented with words as Greef Karga. He nodded and sipped half of the liquid courage remaining in his mug when he heard you giggling.

"What?" He asked drily. He almost felt hurt, where you laughing at him after dodging his attempt to tell you how he felt? You tried to stop but the alcohol had started to take a toll on your self-control. Especially on your empty stomach.

"You…you look so…so cute with your straw." He now fixated his visor on you, and although you tried to stop your laughter with your hand he only made it worse by looking deadly while sipping his spotchka.

"So you bought it in order to make fun of me?" You couldn't discern if he was joking or not but you started to be too drunk to care. He was marveled by this relaxed version of you, looking careless while sprawled on the floor. Even during sex, you'll keep it together, always looking composed. Was a bit of spotchka the one thing it took for you to get loose? If that was the case, he'd buy supplies for ages on the next planet.

"No dummy, I got it because that time you got dehydrated on Tatooine! You scared the shit out of me." Mando hardly remembered how that hunt ended, since in fact, he ended up fainting because of the lack of liquids due to being glued by the hip to you all the mission. It was certainly embarrassing. But what really made his cheeks flush was the endearing tone you had used to insult him.

"I appreciate how you always take care of me." His voice was softer than usual and the impact it had on you was totally unexpected. You stared at him frozen. Was he dehydrated again? You looked at the bottle of spotchka confused. Sure, it was a bit stronger than usual, but not that much.

"Mando… Are you drunk?" You asked carefully, and then he rotated all his body towards you.

"I want to take care of you, too." His voice came strained while he ignored your question. Your face couldn't be redder and your heartbeat started to go out of control. This couldn’t be happening, right? Where you reading well the room?

"Well, I could really use a massage. You know, my boss had me laying all day in some kriffing hole as if I was his personal sniper and my back is killing me." You said nonchalantly after a long silence, avoiding his face on purpose. He sighed in defeat and lay again in the position he was before, his long legs stretched on the floor.

"Your boss looks like an asshole." You could hear now a smile behind the helmet in his voice that warmed your heart.

"He's a tough bone, but he ends up growing on you." You winked at him and then got up, feeling suddenly how drunk you actually were. You stretched your arms over your head and then your neck and Mando could hear the crack of every one of your bones.

“I’ll give you that massage.” You weren’t expecting that he’d taken it seriously at all. He was no stranger to your body, but this new behavior of his was getting on your nerves. You had already spoken more than in all the month you were on board the Razor Crest. Slowly you nodded.

“Let me shower real quick first.” Without further notice, you locked yourself in the refresher to have the fastest shower in history, leaving The Mandalorian with his thoughts while you replayed your conversation in your head, trying to figure out his intentions.

After refreshing, you looked through your possessions, finally finding the small bottle of scented oil, and then returned to the hull while drying your hair a bit with a towel. The shower hadn't diminished your drunken state at all, and you were feeling feisty now. Thinking about how Mando was going to give you a massage had ignited your desire. And you could work with that. Because even though emotional intimacy wasn’t your forte, you new plenty about the physical one.

Mando was in the same place you had left him, now his back against the wall in a relaxed demeanor. He looked at you and then he was thankful you couldn't see his face. Of course, he had seen you in your undergarments before, but always in a non-sexual way like attending to your wounds or just a glimpse here or there. When you fucked you’d both keep most of your clothes on. He’d never appreciated you in all your glory towering over him like this. He gulped and felt his pants somewhat tighter.

You then sat nimbly in front of him, your back facing his front, and left the oil in your right so he could reach it. You noticed that another quarter of the spotchka bottle was missing.

"Confiscated." Giving him a mischievous glance, you twisted your body to reach the bottle and opened it to have a sip directly from it. Mando still hadn't moved a millimeter. A single drop slid along your throat and suddenly he wished he could lick it so badly. He had noted that your demeanor had changed, no longer nervous but confident in your body and sexuality. And that kriffin made him snap. His large hands snaked around your hip bones, dragging your body closer to his chest in one movement You gasped at the sudden contact, but this was familiar. Rough Mando, pressing you from behind against the nearest surface.

His long, muscular legs were spread around you, and you couldn't but appreciate his width and strength, seduced to caress where the beskar wasn't covering them. The time started to go slower as you stroked his skin through the flight suit. Sometimes it was difficult to remember that under all the metal a living red-blooded man resided. And said man was shivering now under your soft touches, praying that you didn't notice his neediness. He was a warrior with a task.

"Mesh'la, let me take care of you." His voice was gentle and raspy when he spoke next to your ear, and if he hadn't been wearing a helmet, you could have felt his breath tickling your skin. The tone in which he pronounced the foreign word made you feel a lot of things, some of them directed to your lower abdomen. You heard the tap of the oil and goosebumps of anticipation covered your skin. When the first drops slid down your column you were the one shivering this time.

When you felt his hands over your skin, you melted. You hadn't noticed when he’d removed his gloves. He rarely did it, and feeling them on your abused shoulders was like warm honey. You almost moaned from the touch of the rough skin of his big palms, his strong thumbs working on the knots that always formed over your shoulder blades. It felt heavenly.

“Is this okay?” If you didn’t know better, you’d swear his voice sounded a bit shy, but it was always difficult to tell through the modulator.

“S’ perfect Mando.” Your tone was breathy as you started to get a bit much worked up by his touch. He hummed and continued with his ministrations in silence. The moment felt fragile: you’d never had this intimacy together before. You noticed he was taking his time with you, feeling every muscle and curve of your strong back, tracing some scars scattered here and there. The alcohol and the massage were finally relaxing your tensed body, and then a moan you couldn’t stop escaped from your lips. His hands, which were working on your lower back at that moment, stopped and you could feel his entire body tense.

“Is this turning you on mesh’la?” All shyness was gone in a second, now his voice was thick with lust, a timbre you did recognize of him. His hands now had a harder grip on your back, like he needed to hold onto something. Sex with Mando was familiar ground, you felt relieved.

“Why don’t you check yourself?” Spotchka made you cheeky like that and you could hear Mando taking a heavy breath, confirming that your words had the effect you desired. Without warning, he dragged you towards his chest plate, the cold beskar biting your back while he positioned his helmet resting on your shoulder. Your heartbeat started to accelerate with anticipation. In this position, you could feel his chest rising every time: he was as worked up as you.

Painfully slow, he started to go over your outer thighs with a feathery touch with his calloused digits when then abruptly, he grabbed them and separated further making you gasp. The heat between your legs was unbearable and the thing you wanted more was for him to touch you. His grip on your inner thighs was almost painful, not that you minded, but you couldn’t stand more teasing.

“Mando, please…” You begged.

“Please what?” His fingers were now hovering over your clothed core, the fabric drenched in your slick. It wasn’t like your business partner hadn’t fingered you before, but it was always as a preparation for you to take his girth, never in this unrushed, lazy manner. Although you were going to explode from anticipation, you were loving every moment of it.

As Mando was too. The sensation of your plush skin filling his hands, your body pressing against his and dank farrik, your smell. It was driving him crazy, so much that he wanted to remove his helmet so he could appreciate the delicious smell of your wet pussy. His head was starting to spin and he couldn’t identify if it was for your fragrance or the quantity of spotchka running through his blood. He decided that the teasing was over then, and unceremoniously hooked his thumbs on your waistband and slid the piece of underwear down your legs, the soaked spot in the middle so evident it embarrassed you and turning him on even more. But he wasn’t still touching you where you needed him most. You were so done.

With your smaller hand, you grabbed his and placed it in your cunt letting go a snort and leaving Mando stunned.

“You wanted to take care of me? Then go on.” You said sassy, but your face was redder and hotter than a Sith’s lightsaber. He kriffing grunted and your breathing stopped when he finally put one of his thick fingers on your entrance to collect your slick. He amused himself at the fact that you were dripping because of him, feeling between surprised and a little proud about it. Then he started tracing lazy circles around your clit while spreading your pussy with the other hand. Mando relished himself in how soft and warm you were, imagining your flavor between his lips. In the confine of his flight suit, his cock twitched, impossibly harder. But today was about taking care of you and he was a man of his word.

His middle finger started tracing your slit up and down and you can’t help but waggle in his lap, feeling the pleasure spreading through your body. You inhaled hard when you notice the prominent bulge against your ass, growing only wetter at the sensation, and Mando could literally feel how your slick slid down your hole. While still rubbing your clit, he took advantage of the dampness to slide one finger inside, looking at that magic spot in your entrance that made your skin tingle. You moaned louder and he licked his lips under the helmet. An all-consuming desire was growing inside of him, the alcohol inside his veins whispering to him that he should indulge in his fantasy. You moan again in his arms and he’s a mess. Needs to taste you, to smell you to see your pussy drenched because of him. Every part of his body is in contact with yours, his helmet against your cheek. He’d love to bite your shoulder and mark your neck, and his need grows stronger while fantasizing about the idea.

“Mando…another finger…please.” Your voice was labored and so sexy he needs a sharp inhale to bring his brain the oxygen he needed. You were a beautiful mess. Your lips parted, cheeks red with lust and a sheer layer of sweat making your skin glow under the lights. This was nothing like taking you from behind in some cantina bathroom. He was done.

“Wait for a second mesh’la. And don’t turn around.” You nodded obediently, at this point you’d do whatever it took to be touched by The Mandalorian. Then you heard the hiss, you panicked a moment, knowing what the helmet meant for him. But inside you couldn’t deny the excitement from the anticipation about what he was going to do. Soon you had the answer. With a loud clank, he let his helmet rest between your spread thighs and then he breathed heavily, finally inhaling your sweet scent. It seemed odd to you that he didn’t choose another spot for his helmet, but then it hit you like a ton of bricks. Filthy bastard.

“Keep your legs spread for me.” His bossy tone made your pussy clench, you were used to his dry commands but in this context it made you drool. His unmodulated voice was like his hands, rough and gentle and warm at the same time, just like him. You found yourself wanting to hear more of it.

Mando’s hands traveled south once again and then he was spreading your lips, totally messy and wet. “Dank Farrik mesh’la look at you.” And you looked. The helmet, well-polished, silver beskar. His position between your legs wasn’t unintentional. You looked at your cunt at display, his large fingers caressing it like it was the most precious thing in the galaxy. You felt embarrassed and your first reflex was to close your legs. But he wasn’t having it.

“Mando, you’re shameless!” His strong hands didn’t let you close your legs but he spread them further. And when he had you like that, his fingers collected your slick determined to finally taste you. You could hear how he sinfully licked every finger and a more sinful, hoarse moan. You’d never hear him make a sound like that and it turned you to putty.

“Your cunt tastes as delicious as it looks.” Now, that was shameless. Who had imagined the reserved, soft-spoken Mandalorian had such a filthy tongue? His fingers were toying with your clit while he explored your hole with the other hand. Pleasure was filling every cell of your body and tiny moans were scaping more frequently from your lips, more aroused every second you looked at his movements reflected on the beskar surface.

“I’d love to taste you too Mando.” You teased grinding your hips on his cock, provoking a delicious sound from him.

“Another time mesh’la, I’m taking care of you today.” His voice was thick with drunkenness and desire and you couldn’t get enough of it. Then a perfect place stroke made you arch against him, leaving your neck at display for him. That delicious-looking skin was calling for him. A sharp bite startled you, provoking a loud moan from you. Even though he had removed his helmet, you didn’t expect him to use his lips on you. It looked like he was sporting a mustache and facial hair. Somewhat, it fitted the mental image you had of him and you siled internally. He continued sucking and biting all over your shoulders and neck, taking his time in your pulse point and you were a panting mess between his thighs, at this point, your slick even pooling on the floor.

His pace on your pussy was faster now, and you could feel and see how his fingers were knuckles deep in your insides, curved toward that delicious spot you could only reach with toys but he easily achieved to stroke. Dank Farrink, he did know your body. You realized he had to be paying more attention than you thought during your intercourses and that somehow made you hornier.

“Mando, I’m not gonna last much more…” Your voice was small, all your cheekiness from behind gone. You felt raw.

“That beautiful cunt’s gonna cum? Lemme see it mesh’la, give it to me.” Mando slurred as worked up and drunk as you. His words sent electricity directly to your pussy and your walls clenched against his fingers. “Kriff your body is amazing…you’re amazing.” His movements over your clit were now frantic and your vision started to blur. You succumbed to the sensation letting it hit you and then you were cuming all over Mando’s tan fingers with a loud cry of pleasure. He kept touching you until you shivered from overstimulation, dragging his fingers slowly from your puffy entrance. The vision was totally sinful. He started drawing lazy circles around your lips, caressing them. Your breath was still heavy while you came down from your high.

“Mando that was…” You didn’t have words for what had just happened.

“Do you feel better now cyar’ika?” His voice was soft again, even sleepy.

“Yeah, thank you for…taking care of me.” The alcohol and your orgasm were making your body drowsy, and you let yourself sink into his arms.

“Anytime.” He then kissed the point where your shoulder met your neck, something he hadn’t done before. You shivered at the sensation of his facial hair against your own skin and couldn’t help but smile fondly. In his odd way, he was sharing this private part of him with you and surprisingly your heart fluttered at the idea. He started then to drag his nose caressing your shoulder, it felt prominent, his mustache provoking goosebumps. You relished in his tenderness and at that moment you didn’t care anymore that this felt too intimate, wondering how it’d feel to kiss him. It was probably the spotchka why you were indulging in these thoughts and the reason you sighed like a teenager when his cheek leaned on yours. Probably tomorrow everything would be back to normal when both of you were sober, but for now, you’d let yourself enjoy how it felt to be taken care of by The Mandalorian.

#din djarin smut #din djarin x f!reader #din djarin x y/n #din djarin x reader #the mandolarian #the mandalorian smut #the mandalorian fanfiction #soft!din djarin #soft!mando #din djarin x gn!reader #din djarin x you #droidwrites

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watchmegetobsessed · 1 year

Text

CHILDISH

A/N: this turned out less halloween-y than i planned, but i think its still cute hehe

WORD COUNT: 1.5k

SUMMARY: It was supposed to be a perfect, cozy fall weekend. Right until you doubt whether you're the perfect fit for your older, successful boyfriend.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

There’s a pep in your steps as you walk out of the elevator on the top floor of Harry’s office building, carrying the lunch you made him and you’re dropping off for him now. You’re excited for tonight and this weekend, because it’s gonna be the perfect fall weekend. You’re having a cozy movie night tonight, watching Nightmare Before Christmas and Coco while eating caramel apples and popcorn, drinking hot chocolate and tomorrow you’re going to the pumpkin patch to pick out pumpkins that you’ll carve later in the afternoon. It’s literally what every girl dreams of at the end of October and Harry is a partner in all of it even though you would have never guessed he’s the kind of man to do these things when you first met him years ago.

You know your way around the office well by now so when the two assistants sitting behind their desk spot you, none of them question who you are.

“Mr. Styles is in a meeting,” Riley says as you approach them.

“I know. I’m just dropping this off for him. Can you give it to him when he’s done? I made him lunch,” you smile bashfully as you set the bag with the containers in it onto the desk. You even put a cute little sticky note on top.

Can’t wait for tonight, hurry home to me! Bone appetite! Love you! Xx

You love the pun and you know Harry will too.

“Of course,” Riley nods with a smile.

“Alright. Thank you, have a nice day,” you smile back as you turn around and head back towards the elevator. You sink your hands into the deep pockets of your wool coat and wind the candy you showed in there, wanting to give it to Harry too, so you start walking back to the assistant, but before you could turn the corner you hear them talking.

“I know! This is so silly,” Riley laughs.

“Silly? More like ridiculous. Her boyfriend is the CEO and she is bringing him lunch with sticky notes,” the other assistant, Tina snorts.

“I never understood how he could date a woman like her. No, not even woman, she is a girl.”

“Have you seen her in that oversized jumper?”

“The rainbow colored one?”

“Yes! It’s hideous! I wouldn’t even dress my toddler in it. Harry is a billionaire, I don’t know how he puts up with her childishness.”

You chew on your bottom lip so harshly, it almost starts bleeding. Their words hurt and turning around you rush back to the elevator so you can leave as fast as possible.

It sends you down a spiral. Are you really that childish? You always knew Harry and you come from different worlds, but you thought they clash perfectly. He is a CEO, insanely successful, lives in a penthouse and is thirty-six years old while you just turned twenty-six. You were an art teacher until you switched, so now you design book covers, but you still teach a few classes in a private school, because you like the kids so much. You lived in a one bedroom apartment before moving in with Harry, which was the size of the bedroom you now share with him. You don’t wear designer clothes, you love thrift shopping and you tend to DIY anything and everything.

As you arrive back home, walking into the penthouse you take a look around. You still remember how it looked when you moved in two years ago, very clean and modern, like the cover of an architecture magazine. But now you see your own touch everywhere.

Colorful candles spattered on every possible surface, chunky blankets covering the grey couch along with a bunch of pillows, you’ve put up fall decoration here and there, making the place cozier and more like home instead of leaving it so sterile. Harry never said he finds your things childish, not even your extreme amount of funky mugs or your plants, all in different pots or random art you hung at every possible empty spot in the place. They are far from his taste, but these little things make the penthouse homey.

Or at least they did until now.

As you look around you only see how childish and ridiculous all this stuff looks in the expensive penthouse that was once Harry’s modern home. What if he hates all of them? If he finds them hideous, but he just doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.

He is a decade older than you, a serious businessman and you’re making him watch Coco tonight and you have plans to go to a pumpkin patch tomorrow. How could you think these were the things he wanted to do?

“Your girlfriend dropped this off for you, Sir.” Riley places the bag on Harry’s desk when he returns into his office and he would have known it was from you even if she didn’t tell him. It’s in that bag with the polka dots all over that you love to use so much. It brings a smile to his lips and then he finds the sticky note. His smile grows from ear to ear.

“Thank you. I’ll be leaving early tonight, I have plans. You guys can leave around three too, if you want,” he tells her to which she nods before striding out of the room.

He can’t wait to spend the evening with you, curled up on the couch, watching the movies you chose. There’s nothing he would rather be doing on a Friday evening.

Wanting to get home as soon as possible, he really does leave early, texting you on his way home. You usually text him right back with a bunch of emojis, but this time you just send a simple okay and it concerns him. Something happened. He knows it.

“Babe! I’m home!” he calls out upon walking into the penthouse, looking for you and he notices that something is off right away.

Most of the candles are gone. And there’s only one blanket left on the couch. The pillows? Gone too.

“Y/N?” he calls out again and that’s when you walk out of the bedroom, dressed in a simple black dress. It looks great on you, but he knows you wouldn’t wear it, not at least without a fun jacket or mismatched jewelry.

“Hey!” you attempt to smile at him as you kiss him on the lips shortly.

“You’re so dressed up,” he hums.

“Yeah, um… I thought that maybe we could ditch the movie night and go out for dinner. I reserved a table at that sushi restaurant you like.”

“You want to ditch movie night? But I thought… what about Coco? It’s your favorite!”

“I’ve seen it a million times already,” you shrug. “And for tomorrow, maybe we could go to the spa and—“

“Alright, wait, slow down,” he cuts you off. “Sushi instead of movie night? Spa instead of pumpkin patch? What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” you play innocent, but he can see right through you.

“Don’t lie to me. Something surely happened and I don’t like what it did to you. You’re not… you’re not yourself. And where are the candles and blankets?”

“Y-You noticed them? I was just… I cleaned up a bit…”

“No, you didn’t clean, you put away most of your stuff, it almost looks like it was before.”

“Because…! They didn’t belong here, it’s better this way. Don’t you think?” you sigh, moving away from him to keep yourself together, but he pulls you back and taking your chin between his thumb and index finger, he makes you look at him.

“Baby, talk to me. What happened?” Your lips wobble as you shake your head, but you know he won’t leave you alone until you tell him. “Tell me what happened, I don’t like seeing you sad,” he softly pleads.

“I’m childish,” you say in a whisper.

“What?”

“I’m… ridiculous and childish. You should… You should be dating someone more mature.”

“Where is this all coming from?” he asks in disbelief. You’re hesitant to answer, but you can’t hold it back any longer.

“I dropped your lunch off today and I heard the assistants talk about me. They said that I’m childish and basically we’re not compatible. And… Maybe they are right.”

“No, they are not!” he answers straight away.

“Have you looked around? I moved in and brought all this… random stuff and messed up your modern and expensive home.”

“No, you made it into our home. I loved every little thing you brought with you!”

“You did?”

“Of course! This place didn’t even feel like home until you moved in. You brought so much light and joy, I love the blankets and pillows, all the candles and anything that reminds me of you.”

You open your mouth to say something, but no words come out. You’re in awe and most importantly, in love.

“And they make the place homey, but you make it my home. You’re my home, Y/N.”

“I’m gonna cry,” you announce as the first tears roll down your cheeks. Harry just chuckles and kisses your forehead before pulling your head to his chest.

“Let’s find those blankets and candles, change into some comfortable clothes and get a head start on that movie night, hm?”

“Okay,” you nod after a hiccup. Taking your face in his hands he wipes your cheeks before kissing you softly on the lips.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb

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helloanthy · 4 days

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🗒️ 24.04.2024 ⋅⋅⋅ 🥀

some notes for 20.09.2023 post and a separate cut out for utena because i spent a very long time rendering her ... the original concept i had in my head for this art was very different. it was just supposed to be a style study of this an official anime prop design art, and i'd thought to draw anthy in a similar pose across from her like in the shown version, but with her wearing her prince outfit from the manga. something something another form of female competition under the patriarchyyy stop pitting 2 girlprinces against each other omg etc (side note, how sick would it have been in an AU where akio made anthy fight against utena in the ring? like i dont think it would hav added more to the story or made it better really ... probably would've diluted the message to be honest ... but everytime i see that manga art of prince anthy i imagine some convoluted black rose arc AU where utenas dodging anthy getting her hair hacked off left and right like himemiyaaa nooo snap out of it this isnt uuu while anthys silent and dead eyed hahaha) but then after i drew prince anthy, the picture looked rather empty ... so i thought to add a few decals or borders in the style of the show & official arts but aaahh ... there was still too much negative space. i had to scrap anthy's prince outfit and put her back in her rose bride dress 😭 man !!! he cant keep getting away this !!! [blames akio the figurehead of patriarchy instead of taking responsibility of my own actions] which made me sad because i was pretty satisfied with the way i drew her pose and legs ! but i had to cover it up 🥲 ... the composition overall looked better though. and then after that it kept spiraling. i just kept adding more and more things until i lost control of this drawing and it plagued my WIP folder for months ... i dont want to try and connect all of it in words so ill just lay out all the pieces for you so you can connect them yourself. and you can experience my art thought process in fraction of erraticity and frustration as i experience it myself. this is a lot neater than what happened in my head though because i bothered to put it in order. honestly if i can make you feel a little bit insane trying to scroll through and read all this than i can make you understand how annoying my brain is when all i wanted to draw was utenanthy girlprinces fighting starting references & inspiration: utena prop reference sheet & manga prince!anthy

the tower & the lovers tarot

above: the lovers as depicted in the tarot of marseilles deck, tarocco bolognese deck, & tarocco piemontese deck the lovers (tarot card) wikipedia: The Lovers is associated with the star sign Gemini, and indeed is also known as The Twins in some decks. Other associations are with Air, Mercury, and the Hebrew letter ז (Zayin). In the Rider Waite deck, the imagery for this card is changed significantly from the traditional depiction. Instead of a couple receiving a blessing from a noble or cleric, the Rider–Waite deck depicts Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

a.e. waite, the pictorial key to the tarot, part III, section 3, no.6: UPRIGHT: Attraction, love, beauty, trials overcome REVERSED: Failure, foolish designs. Another account speaks of marriage frustrated and contrarieties of all kinds a.e. waite, the pictorial key to tarot, part II, VI. the lovers: In the foreground are two human figures, male and female, unveiled before each other, as if Adam and Eve when they first occupied the paradise of the earthly body. Behind the man is the Tree of Life, bearing twelve fruits, and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil is behind the woman; the serpent is twining round it. The figures suggest youth, virginity, innocence and love before it is contaminated by gross material desire. This is in all simplicity the card of human love, here exhibited as part of the way, the truth and the life. It replaces, by recourse to first principles, the old card of marriage, which I have described previously, and the later follies which depicted man between vice and virtue. In a very high sense, the card is a mystery of the Covenant and Sabbath. The suggestion in respect of the woman is that she signifies that attraction towards the sensitive life which carries within it the idea of the Fall of Man, but she is rather the working of a Secret Law of Providence than a willing and conscious temptress. It is through her imputed lapse that man shall arise ultimately, and only by her can he complete himself. The card is therefore in its way another intimation concerning the great mystery of womanhood. going off of the rider-waite tarot deck: the pictorial key to the tarot—biddytarot's interpretation of the lovers: UPRIGHT: Love, harmony, relationships, values alignment, choices REVERSED: Self-love, disharmony, imbalance, misalignment of values In its purest form, The Lovers card represents conscious connections and meaningful relationships. The arrival of this card in a Tarot reading shows that you have a beautiful, soul-honoring connection with a loved one. [...] The Lovers is a card of open communication and raw honesty. Given that the man and woman are naked, they are both willing to be in their most vulnerable states and have learned to open their hearts to one another and share their truest feelings. [...] On a more personal level, The Lovers card represents getting clear about your values and beliefs. You are figuring out what you stand for and your philosophy. Having gone through the indoctrination of The Hierophant, you are now ready to establish your belief system and decide what is and what is not essential to you. It’s time to go into the big wide world and make choices for yourself, staying true to who you are and being authentic and genuine in all your endeavors. At its heart, The Lovers is about choice. The choice about who you want to be in this lifetime, how you connect with others and on what level, and about what you will and won’t stand for. To make good choices, you need to be clear about your personal beliefs and values – and stay true to them. Not all decisions will be easy either. The Lovers card is often a sign that you are facing a moral dilemma and must consider all consequences before acting. Your values system is being challenged, and you are being called to take the higher path, even if it is difficult. Do not carry out a decision based on fear or worry or guilt or shame. Now, more than ever, you must choose love – love for yourself, love for others and love for the Universe. Choose the best version of yourself. Finally, The Lovers card encourages you to unify dual forces. You can bring together two parts that are seemingly in opposition to one another and create something that is ‘whole’, unified and harmonious. In every choice, there is an equal amount of advantage and disadvantage, opportunity and challenge, positive and negative. When you accept these dualities, you build the unity from which love flows.

the tower (tarot card) wikipedia: The Tower is widely associated to danger, crisis, sudden change, destruction, higher learning, and liberation. In the Rider–Waite deck, the top of The Tower is a crown, which symbolizes materialistic thought being bought cheap, downcast. a.e. waite, the pictorial key to the tarot, part III, section 3, no.16: UPRIGHT: Misery, distress, indigence, adversity, calamity, disgrace, deception, ruin. It is a card in particular of unforeseen catastrophe REVERSED: According to one account, the same in a lesser degree also oppression, imprisonment, tyranny (the wikipedia included a.e. waite's upright meanings, but i have no idea where they got the reversed meanings) going off of the rider-waite tarot deck: the pictorial key to the tarot—biddytarot's interpretation of the tower: UPRIGHT: Sudden change, upheaval, chaos, revelation, awakening REVERSED: Personal transformation, fear of change, averting disaster The Tower shows a tall tower perched on the top of a rocky mountain. Lightning strikes set the building alight, and two people leap from the windows, head first and arms outstretched. It is a scene of chaos and destruction. The Tower itself is a solid structure, but because it has been built on shaky foundations, it only takes one bolt of lightning to bring it down. It represents ambitions and goals made on false premises. The lightning represents a sudden surge of energy and insight that leads to a break-through or revelation. It enters via the top of the building and knocks off the crown, symbolizing energy flowing down from the Universe, through the crown chakra. The people are desperate to escape from the burning building, not knowing what awaits them as they fall. [...] The best way forward is to let this structure self-destruct so you can re-build and re-focus. [...] with a card like The Tower, you have no choice but to surrender to the destruction and chaos, no matter how unwanted or painful [...] After a Tower experience, you will grow stronger, wiser and more resilient as you develop a new perspective on life you did not even know existed.

infant stars taken by NASA hubble used in the background overlay of akio's tower star birth | cool cosmos: Stars form from the simplest of building blocks - huge clouds of gas and dust that permeate the Galaxy. [...] While these big clouds of dust and gas lay dormant for many millions and perhaps billions of years, eventually some of them are disturbed. This can happen gradually, maybe caused by the approach of one of the Milky Way's spiral arms as it slowly sweeps around the center of the galaxy, or it can be a sudden event, like a nearby supernova explosion that blasts a shockwave through the cloud. Either way, a small increase in the pressure and density of the cloud forms knots in the gas and dust that eventually collapse under their own gravity, pulling more and more of the surrounding material in, and forming the stellar "seeds" known as protostars. From Protostar to Star: As the clouds collapse, they start to rotate, and, like a spinning skater pulling in her arms, each of these seed protostars begins to spin faster the more it collapses. The material falling towards the protostar flattens out into a rotating disk of dust and gas encircling the central core. The protostar warms up, as the potential energy of the material falling in is converted into kinetic energy, but it has not yet ignited to form a fully-fledged star. For the next few million years, the protostar's gravity pulls in more material from the surrounding cloud into its disk. That disk transports the gas and dust onto the protostar, causing the protostar to grow. The increase in mass causes the gravitational field of the protostar to increase and so even more material is pulled into the disk. The addition of more material, in turn, increases the gravitational field even further, pulling in more material, and so on, creating a feedback loop that keeps the whole process going. [...] The density and temperature of the protostar keep climbing higher and higher, until eventually the core grows to about one tenth the size of our Sun, and becomes hot and dense enough for hydrogen nuclei to spontaneously stick together to form helium, in a process called nuclear fusion. At that instant, the core ignites, and the new star is born. Meanwhile, in the disk, clumps of material have been forming, which are the seeds of new planets. These seeds sweep up material in the disk in a process called accretion, forming the planets of a new solar system. Once the star has started nuclear fusion, the heat and wind from the infant star begin to blast the gas and dust away, creating a cavity in the cloud. As more and more matter gets funneled onto the star from the disk, the star gets larger and larger, causing it to push harder and harder against the cloud and the disk, enlarging the cavity, vaporizing the disk, and halting the growth of planets.

deadheading (flowers) wikipedia: Deadheading is the horticultural practice of removing spent flowers from ornamental plants. Deadheading is a widespread form of pruning, since fading flowers are not as appealing and direct a lot of energy into seed development if pollinated. The goal of deadheading is thus to preserve the attractiveness of the plants in beds, borders, containers and hanging baskets, as well as to encourage further blooming. Deadheading flowers with many petals, such as roses, peonies, and camellias prevents them from littering.

[...] Ornamental plants that do not require deadheading are those that do not produce a lot of seed or tend to deadhead themselves [...] if the plant bears attractive seeds or fruits, deadheading is normally avoided

ladybird, ladybug, lady beetle: scientific name "coccinellidae" wikipedia: Etymology: [...] The common English name ladybird originated in Britain where the insects became known as "Our Lady's birds". Mary ("Our Lady") was often depicted wearing a red cloak in early art, and the seven spots of the species Coccinella septempunctata (the most common in Europe) were said to represent her seven joys and seven sorrows. Trophic Roles: Coccinellids act both as predators, prey and parasitic hosts in food webs. The majority of coccinellids are carnivorous and predatory. [...] Cannibalism has been recorded in several species; which includes larvae eating eggs or other larvae, and adults feeding on individuals of any life stage.

Defense: The bright warning colouration of many coccinellids discourage potential predators, warning of their toxicity [...] Species with more contrast with the background environment tended to be more toxic. Coccinellid haemolymph (blood) contains toxic alkaloids, azamacrolides and polyamines, as well as foul-smelling pyrazines. Coccinellids can produce at least 50 types of alkaloids. When disturbed, ladybirds further defend themselves with reflex bleeding, exuding drops from their tibio-femoral (knee) joints, effectively presenting predators with a sample of their toxic and bitter body fluid.

despite said being named after the lady virgin mary they are known to be promiscuous breeders, who's habits have been documented to result in epidemics of sexually transmitted infection in large populations, subject to various academic studies

lyric from lady oscar's theme song "the rose perishes beautifully"

youtube

ok there was more but its been like 8 hours it turns out trying to put my thoughts into words even if its just a bunch of copy pasting is even more annoying than just thinking them im ending this post 😭

#🗒️#📜

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writemekpop · 1 year

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I Kissed the President (Part 2) | Jung Jaehyun

Summary: You're an undercover journalist digging for dirt on billionaire Jung Jaehyun. You'd do anything to get the story. Even fuck him... But what happens when he finds out you're lying?

Genre: Smut, angst, drama

Word Count: 1.5k

Part 1 | Part 2 ❤️ | Part 3

The idea of seeing you again makes Jaehyun feel a little hot. And not just in a good way. Kind of sweaty. Nervous, almost.

You vowed to never go back to Jaehyun – but your editor said that if you couldn’t get this story, you ‘shouldn’t come back at all’.

So, three nights later, you go back to Jaehyun’s house. You’re wearing an outrageous black lace dress that ‘highlights your boobs’ (in Giselle’s words).

A full-on limousine idles in front of Jaehyun’s house.

Jaehyun slouches stylishly in the back seat, offering you a glass of champagne. “More tea, vicar?”

You can’t stop smiling.

Jaehyun’s wealth should disgust you, but it secretly impresses you. He looks offensively good in a black three-piece suit, his fringe falling into his forehead.

He treats you to a five-course meal in a skyscraper. The restaurant… is empty.

“I asked them to keep our little date quiet,” Jaehyun murmurs. “Journalists, am I right?”

You stifle a gasp. If only he knew.

A while later, you are in a designer clothing shop, resting your heads on your elbows. Your eyes burn into each other’s.

A gorgeous three thousand dollar Chanel dress lies between you – one that you made the mistake of glancing at.

“Get me to change my mind on one of my policies and the dress is yours,” he challenges.

“Easy,” you say. “Stop cutting immigration. Instead, let qualified people from abroad enter the country. The economy will boom.”

Jaehyun clears his throat uncomfortably. “Well… I hadn’t thought of that.” He eyes the dress. “If I didn’t know how sexy you would look in this dress, I would be annoyed. It is very expensive.”

Later, you and Jaehyun walk arm in arm along the banks of the Han River. Dangerously, the dress makes you feel like you are Asha… like you could do anything.

Jaehyun smiles arrogantly down at you. “Did my date impress you?” He sighs. “Why even ask? Of course, you’re impressed.”

You curl your lip. “You’re a little rich boy who showered his family’s money on me. That doesn’t take talent.”

His face hardens. “Stop calling me that.”

“What?” you say.

“A rich boy. I’m not who you think I am.” His voice drops. “My father, who you love talking about, isn’t even my father.”

Your heart speeds up. This is the story you’ve been looking for.

“What do you mean?” you ask, keeping your voice steady.

Jaehyun continues, “I’m an orphan. He picked me up from the streets when I was ten. Trust me, if he had any child of his own, they would be running the party.”

You gasp.

He smiles bitterly. “Poverty? I know it.”

You should be thrilled – this is enough to bring Jaehyun’s campaign down. But instead, all you want is for that pained look to leave his eyes.

Just then, a strange memory surfaces in your mind. You frown.

Jaehyun smiles sadly. “Now you remember.”

And then it comes back to you. Almost twenty years ago, your mum sent you to the laundrette… when you saw a boy with large brown eyes and dimples, sitting on a huge box of Ultra Clean laundry detergent, grinning at you. You gave him your last coin.

In delight, you clasp the sides of Jaehyun’s face, beaming up at him. You always wondered what that boy would be like when he grew up… how handsome he would be. You could barely believe that the boy was Jaehyun.

Jaehyun kisses you. And you like it. Far too much. You kiss him back, pulling his body as close to you as is humanly possible. He feels delicious against you. You feel his hardness against every inch of your skin.

You try to see him as the spoilt airhead the way you used to. You try to stop yourself from caring about him. But you fail – Jaehyun has changed for you. Or maybe, you two were never that different in the first place.

You pull away…

Removed from the intoxicating influence of his lips, you are confused. Jaehyun, if he likes you at all, does not like you. He likes Asha.

The thought makes you stiffen.

Wrapping your arms around yourself, you walk away, hoping the chill night air will bring you clarity.

“Asha,” he calls. “Leaving so soon? That’s classy.”

But his joke does not make you laugh. You know where you have to go.

---

The office of the Daily Herald is empty.

Every time you try to write the news story that will bring Jaehyun’s campaign down, you get distracted.

You see Jaehyun’s blazing eyes as he confessed to you. You feel his lips on your lips. You remember the grin of the boy at the laundrette so many years ago. And the words won’t come.

You take a deep breath. This article will save your career. As for you and Jaehyun… well, there is no you and Jaehyun.

You plug in your headphones and, though your stomach is twisting, you begin to write.

Jaehyun Jung is the darling of the people. However, even he has his share of dirty secrets…

When you are done, you feel disgusted by your article. It’s a cheap shot. You’re not attacking Jaehyun’s policies – you’re attacking him for being working class. And, a little voice says, you’re hurting him.

You decide that you will never publish this article. If you lose your job, so be it.

When you see the time, you freak out. You need to get home.

---

The next morning, you are awoken by a rapid pinging noise.

You have 7 missed calls from Giselle, followed by a message that says, TURN ON THE TV.

…is not, in fact, former President Jung’s son…

…orphan, picked up off the street…

…election campaign thrown off the rails…

The newsreader lifts up a copy of the Daily Herald – with your article front and centre.

How did they get that? You never submitted the article! You look for your laptop… then realise that you left it in the office last night.

You feel sick.

You have only one message from Jaehyun.

‘I trusted you.’

—

Read Part 3 here! 💋

MAIN MASTERLIST

Taglist: @lovingvoidgoatee @the-universe-in-you-jjh @tacitanecdote @jolie-jolie @methneo @fairy-jojo @fluffyjaes @callingczimlonely @lav-nct @zodiqmz @nctevia

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plague-karm · 7 months

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Right time to analyse this shit because god dammit I have been silently making theories about this show the second I saw the premise I’m about to become the most annoying person on the planet on god so LETS GOOOOOOO-

First things first the animation looks fucking phenomenal (let Kevin Temmer cook, that man can do no wrong). Also Caine the guy ever, he is the silly and I love him wholeheartedly, he’s just a fucked up little guy who’s living his best life fr.

And also NEW CHARACTER HELLO.

They do be circling though.

THE SILLIES ARE HERE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO 🎉🎉🎉

Smiling Gangle spotted ten seconds before disaster, no thoughts head empty indeed.

ALSO I WASN’T EXPECTING STUFF OUTSIDE THE CIRCUS BUT IT’S A WELCOME SURPRISE WHOA

They have come to steal your credit card information.

The thoughts I had of Ragatha being the lone brain cell keeping everything together were completely correct I CALLED IT- (it has been said by Gooseworx that she has been there the second longest so she’s probably gotten used to the zaniness by now…maybe)

A door that leads to a void?

Maybe it has something to do with this room in the teaser trailer? Possibly.

Tumblr sexyman spotted.

''If there was a way to leave I'm sure we'd have all left by now''

They're ✨suffering✨

This caught me off guard when I first saw it lmao (holy FUCK I love Zooble's design, they're everything to me).

''Welcome to your new home...AND your new body...''

So they're aware that they were human before they entered the circus? That's interesting considering what happens in a few seconds (I'll get to that soon). It's also worth mentioning that Gooseworx has stated that their clothes ARE a part of their bodies.

Case in point...

At the end of the character introduction compilation Gooseworx posted to their YouTube channel Pomni is heard saying something along the lines of

''How do I...take this...headset off?!''

I saw a few people theorizing about her talking about a VR headset and that was how she entered the circus to begin with (I had the same thoughts until very recently). However, considering how much of the visuals and character designs are based on old media (also a teaser image was set up as the menu screen for a retro game), I'm beginning to think that this isn't the case.

So it's incredibly likely that Pomni is actually talking about her jester headpiece since she can't take it off.

This scene is probably the first time Pomni sees her new body, pinwheel eyes and all.

''I'm fine with whatever, as long as I get to see funny things happen to people''

I love him he's so unbothered.

I'm sad that we didn't get to hear any dialogue from them but I can't wait to see them in the pilot! Kinger is love, Kinger is life.

''After a while you start to realise that you really can't leave, and constantly chasing an unattainable goal will start driving you a little crazy''

She's a little fucked up actually wow who saw that coming.

It sounds like Ragatha tried to leave a few times and just resigned to her fate after a while, her description DID say that she was the ''sweetest little optimist in the digital circus'', so maybe she's told the others that escaping is impossible and that they should make the best of their situation instead? (Also the framed picture of the right looks like some kind of void, a lot of void imagery here).

Also, Gooseworx released this image a short while ago and it has the same background that Ragatha had while she was talking so she's DEFINITELY talking to Pomni here.

''OH GOD! WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER MY NAME?!''

EXCUSE ME? Okay time for some more speculation. I knew that their names definitely weren't their real ones but I wasn't expecting them to forget them!

Now, since the premise is said to be centred around Pomni and the others getting messed with by AI and their traumas, maybe instead of forgetting what their names were, they actually REPRESSED their memories from when they were human due to the trauma they went through? (Which would include their names)

I don't buy that they've COMPLETELY forgotten who they were (Zooble is aware that the body they're in isn't the one they used to have so I'm guessing everyone else knows that too.)

I'm guessing that their human lives absolutely SUCKED and they've now repressed their trauma to the point where they can barely remember who they were in the human world, this is just speculation.

''Thank goodness this is all a dream, right Pomni?''

What a sassy little guy (it's so weird hearing Michael Kovach sound so reserved, he's normally feral as hell playing these kinds of characters). The little mannequin symbol on the door is probably there for when new people stumble into the circus.

She's definitely seen some shit, I wonder what it could be though?

OH MY GOD THERE'S MORE OF THEM 😭

Wow this background looks...oddly normal. The only thing I can think of this being is Pomni witnessing a flashback of her human life before she showed up in the circus.

''You completely lose sight of who you are and why you're even alive and when you reach your breaking point something REALLY terrible can happen''

OH? Okay speculation time again. This is the closest hint we've gotten to what exactly one of the gang's traumas could be. Ragatha may have forced herself to stay positive in really shitty situations during her human life which likely lead to a lot of negative thoughts which eventually lead to her doing...something, I'm not sure what though, maybe it lead to her losing an eye? (Maybe her new body represents that?) I'm not sure. Maybe this is why she's been in the circus for as long as she has, instead of dealing with her feelings and existentialism, she instead continues to try to be someone who's more adjusted than they actually are.

Again, this is all just speculation, maybe it's just an Infinity Train type of thing where they can't leave until they learn to accept what they went through and how to work through it healthily idk.

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? Well, I'll tell you what I think it is.

I think it's this weird tar like tentacle thing from the teaser trailer, I don't see what else it could be.

And I'm 90% sure that whatever it is, it's connected to this room, and I think that THIS is gonna be where we'll be seeing what the gangs traumas are (Ragatha looked TERRIFIED when she was grabbed so if this was the case I wouldn't be surprised). I'd also like to speculate that this could possibly be another AI. There's Caine, Bubble, and whatever the hell those little shape creatures are, so it's very likely that other AI does exist, we just haven't seen them yet.

But who knows? I'm probably looking too much into it.

Woah new background, he is angy.

I would go into another theory I have about how their designs may hint at what trauma they have but I've spent over an hour writing, compiling trailer screenshots, and speculating every individual frame while suffering with chest pains I wanna go to bed

Holy shit that took WAY longer than I thought it would. I cannot WAIT to watch the pilot, this show has become one of my most anticipated projects of the year over the last few months and I can't wait to see what it has in store.

TL;DR: The trailer looks fire 10/10 can't wait for the inevitable Pomni plushes.

#karm rambles #the amazing digital circus #damn this is long #tadc #i'm so normal #glitch productions #gooseworx #i have gone insane

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inhuman-obey-me · 4 months

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CONGRATS ON 4K+ FOLLOWERS!!!🎉 You two are so awfully talented I can't even put into words, really. Here's to many more!

May I request: 🥡 (Can’t fight these cravings in the night.) with Beel + MC Included, please?

(ALSO IS THE PROMPT LYRICS TO MOTIONLESS IN WHITE'S WEREWOLF BC I LOVE THAT SONG)

Ahhh, thank you for your kind words!! ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵) ♡ We're so grateful people like our stuff enough for us to have reached this point, especially with how many times we've fallen into inactivity. Thank you so much for your support!!!!

And, ahahahaha, you got us, it seems we've finally been called out on using lyrics in our prompts. Yes, we also love that song!! In fact, we're both big MIW fans, so for anyone else who likes them, see if you can spot what other lyrics we put on the prompt list ;)

"Can’t fight these cravings in the night." - Beel/MC

Unlike his twin, Beelzebub rarely remains asleep the whole night through.

Some nights, he twists and tosses in his bed, trying to shake off the specters haunting his dreams, then wakes suddenly, his heart racing. On others, it's simply the call of hunger that jerks him from his slumber, his grumbling stomach demanding satisfaction at any hour. Other times still, he wakes without any reason at all. Sometimes, it's all three, pulling him from sleep over and over throughout the night.

He looks up at the gentle golden glow coming off the solar design on his wall, barely illuminating the room just enough to navigate, before his gut begins its growling demands. It's no use to try to go back to sleep; he can't fight these cravings in the night for long.

With a shake of his head, he slides out of bed and quietly makes his way towards the door, glad that Belphie sleeps heavily enough never to be disturbed by his movements. In the short trek from his room to the kitchen, he can feel his stomach growing emptier and emptier, until his vision starts to blur, and he's holding himself back from gnawing off the door itself.

He grabs the first thing within reach off the table and gorges upon it without hesitation. Guilt nibbles at the edge of his mind as he vaguely registers the shape of something like a drawn-on face upon his tongue -- some special treat of Levi's, probably, and he'll get chewed out for it in the morning, no doubt. But the voracious growling of his stomach drowns those thoughts out easily, and he forgets quickly as he lumbers his way dizzily forward. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it sates the hunger long enough to reach the fridge.

His sight comes back into focus as he reaches for the fridge's handle, only to realize it's already open, with the shadowed silhouette of someone sitting in front of its heady glow, peeking over the door at him with mild terror in their eyes.

"Beel, it's me," you breathe in a nervous hush.

Your voice rings distant through the fog of hunger, buzzing in his head like swarms of flies -- or maybe those are his own wings, clicking behind him in voracious frenzy. This isn't the first time you've caught him midnight snacking, but it's usually the other way around, when he's already deep into his feasting.

He reaches a hand past you without answer, without eye contact, no sign of even having heard you, fingers closing rapaciously around whatever food they can find. Your presence is calming to him, always has been, ever since the day he decided to make his pact with you, but that's not enough right now. He doesn't trust himself not to devour you whole. He needs to eat, he is starving, and you smell so delicious.

So he reaches past you, grabbing whatever he can, and he eats. He eats, and eats, and eats, until the buzzing stops, and finally, his belly isn't screaming its emptiness anymore.

You're still standing there beside him, and he realizes you've been handing him things as he ate, snacks from the cupboards to sate him and glasses of water from the sink to help him wash them down. The fear is gone from your face, replaced only with worry.

Well, he did consume half the fridge's contents within minutes, after all.

He wraps you up in a big bear hug, expressing only a blunt, "Thank you," and his embrace is tight but warm, and full of relief.

"Are you feeling better now?" you ask, giving him a light squeeze in return.

"Yeah, for now. I might wake up hungry again later. Though, I feel better having you here with me. Like my stomach is less angry, somehow. But I think I'm okay now, so I'll go back to bed. You should probably go back to bed too. Belphie always says you don't get enough rest."

You're quiet for a moment, thinking, and then answer, "Well, why don't I come sleep next to you? If you wake up again, I'll make you something properly to eat."

"Are you sure?" he asks. To be honest, the thought of eating your cooking has him salivating all over again, but he doesn't want to ask too much of you.

"Yeah. I sleep better in your room sometimes, anyway."

Nodding firmly, he takes your hand, leading you back to the twins' room, where Belphie is still sleeping peacefully, unaware. Quietly careful not to disturb the youngest brother, you climb into his bed together, snuggling up close. He can smell raspberries and vanilla caramel on your breath -- the pudding you had snacked on before he'd come in, probably. The last thing he thinks before drifting back to sleep is how sweet of a scent it is, just like you.

When he wakes again, it's morning already, and you're giving him a gentle poke on the nose.

"Good morning, Beel. Did you sleep okay?"

#obey me #obey me!#obey me swd #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me nightbringer #omnb #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub x mc #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me beel x mc #obey me beel x reader #obey me fic #obey me drabble #writings #drabble #4000 follower celebration #mod chaos in the devildom

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gerrystamour · 11 months

Text

grow back your sharpest teeth (you know my desire)

Rated E | Steddie Week Day 7: Free Space | 5600 Words | Complete

“Wouldn’t you be Ken, though?” Steve had hoped Eddie would ask a question like that and he had to refrain from punching the air and ruining his punchline. “I come with all the coolest accessories, so clearly I’m still Barbie,” Steve retorted, his voice going just a bit deeper as he leaned closer to Eddie. This is my final entry for @steddie-week Day 7: Free Space and holy moly CW: This is a transmasc Steve Harrington fic and he, like me, does not have bottom-dysphoria and the fic refers to his genitalia with a mixture of feminine & masculine terminology. ADDITIONALLY, this fic features a novelty strap-on and breeding kink.

[ READ ON AO3 ]

“This is the dumbest, silliest, most ridiculous idea you’ve ever come up with, Dingus,” Robin said fondly as she followed Steve down the street.

“That’s a lot of words for ‘completely genius,’ Robs,” Steve sniffed indignantly, ignoring Robin’s raised eyebrow.

“So, this has nothing to do with a certain tattoo artist you’ve been trying to seduce for months?” she asked knowingly, and Steve stood up straighter.

When Steve had met Eddie Munson a year ago, he had instantly fallen for him and had lamented that fact to Robin in excruciating detail. They’d met each other when Dustin finally talked Steve into joining a one-shot at his nerdy club thing. Had Dustin disclosed that the DM was literally the hottest man on the planet, Steve would’ve agreed a lot quicker to joining the table.

Not only was Eddie hot, though: he was hilarious and sweet, plus he was a tattoo artist and he played guitar, and Steve was also pretty sure he sang. Either way, Steve was very much into him, and he was sure that the feelings were reciprocated but it was impossible to actually get Eddie alone and ask him out.

Then Robin jokingly brought up getting matching tattoos and Steve had an idea.

See, when Robin “jokingly” mentioned something, that usually meant she was serious about it but was presenting it as a joke to blow it off if someone thought it was stupid. The thing was, Steve never thought her ideas were stupid, especially not the ideas as brilliant as getting matching tattoos of the Barbie logo.

They could go to Eddie for the tattoos, and while Eddie was working on him, Steve could finally talk to him a bit more one-on-one, making his intentions clear. It was perfect.

“Of course, this has something to do with Eddie, but it’s also just a completely genius idea, Robs,” Steve said easily, grinning over at her as they reached the door to the shop.

Once they were inside, Steve took a look around and saw that the place was empty. They were the last appointments of the day, Eddie had said, so Steve wasn’t too shocked.

At the sound of the door chiming, Eddie poked his head out of the office in the back and grinned, his dimples on full display and making Steve’s heart stutter.

“Hey! You’re early,” Eddie said as he walked out to greet them properly. “I’ve got a couple designs done for you to choose from.”

Soon they were huddled around a battered iPad, discussing the designs Eddie drew up based on the Barbie logo until they decided on one that they both liked the best.

“I want mine in baby blue, and Steve wants his in Barbie pink,” Robin said, and Eddie laughed warmly at that.

“Listen, normally I don’t care about the tattoos my clients get, but since you’re friends I’m really curious,” Eddie confessed, gesturing at the design. “Why the Barbie logo?”

Robin laughed a bit nervously and Steve spoke up. “I mean, you know we’re both trans, right? Well, Barbie is the ideal, she’s everything, so especially for Robs here, she’s kind of a huge deal. Y’know?”

Eddie nodded with a grin. “That’s sick, I love it,” he said before turning a sly look at Steve. “Wouldn’t you be Ken, though?”

Steve had hoped Eddie would ask a question like that and he had to refrain from punching the air and ruining his punchline.

“I come with all the coolest accessories, so clearly I’m still Barbie,” Steve retorted, his voice going just a bit deeper as he leaned closer to Eddie.

Just as he’d hoped, Eddie blushed lightly and he glanced at Steve’s mouth, just like he always did when Steve flirted. Then Eddie laughed breathlessly, and he smirked suggestively.

“I bet you do, big boy,” he teased, and Steve had to hold back from cheering loudly as once again, Eddie played into the little script he’d practiced all week.

“You can always come over sometime and see for yourself,” Steve offered almost innocently if not for the way he nudged Eddie’s ankle with his foot. “Maybe even take a couple for a spin?”

Eddie’s eyes widened and his face turned a gorgeous shade of red before he cleared his throat. “Stevie, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were asking me out,” Eddie said with an almost nervous laugh and Steve nearly screamed in frustration. Why was this man so oblivious?

“You apparently don’t actually know better,” Steve pressed then added firmly, “I wouldn’t say no to taking you out for dinner.”

Eddie blinked at Steve, his mouth falling open before he closed it quickly with a click. “Okay, yeah, sure,” Eddie said, sounding a bit strangled as he glanced at Steve’s mouth and then he stood up. “I’m going to print the stencils and we’ll get started?”

“Sounds good!” Robin said brightly. The moment Eddie disappeared into his office she turned on Steve with a shocked expression. “I cannot actually believe—oh my god, is that the Harrington Charm you’re always going on about?”

Steve smirked a bit, more than a little bit smug. “I mean, yeah,” he said with a heavy dose of fake modesty.

“Wow, that was… wow,” Robin huffed with an incredulous laugh.

When Eddie returned, they returned to the friendly banter they normally had, though there were more than a few lingering glances between him and Steve. Robin went first, getting hers done on her ribs which she didn’t even flinch through. Steve was impressed.

Once hers was done, she had to leave for work, which meant Steve would be alone with Eddie for the duration of his own tattoo.

Which, again, Steve had sort of planned.

But Steve kept it professional, platonic, while Eddie worked on his tattoo. Steve was getting his done on his back, just over his right shoulder blade. When it was done and Steve had paid for both tattoos, Eddie grabbed his wrist.

“Are you seriously asking me out?” Eddie asked, his face unsure.

Steve blinked at him for a bit before he nodded. “Yeah, Eds, I’ve been trying to ask you out since I met you,” he admitted with a laugh when Eddie’s eyes widened.

“Why, though?” Eddie asked, his voice a bit guarded.

That threw Steve off. Eddie always seemed confident, untouchable, out-of-reach. “Because you’re funny, you’re really sweet, you have an amazing smile, and you’re hot as hell,” Steve listed quickly and easily, shrugging slightly. “I’ve been really into you since I met you, man.”

Eddie laughed a bit, disbelieving but happy sounding. “Okay, I’d—I want to go out with you, but I’m a bit of a life’s-short-eat-dessert-first kind of guy, so…” Eddie trailed off, raising his eyebrows at Steve suggestively.

Steve leaned over the counter, bringing their faces close together. “You wanna go for a ride before I wine and dine you, Eddie?” he asked in a low, teasing voice and Eddie actually choked.

“Jesus H Christ, Stevie, you’re actually gonna kill me,” Eddie admitted with a weak laugh.

“You want me to stop?” he asked genuinely.

“Fuck, no, please don’t,” Eddie said quickly, shaking his head a bit.

With a laugh, Steve nodded. “How does next Saturday night sound?”

“I’ll have to check my calendar,” Eddie said with a dimpled grin. “I’ll text you.”

“Sounds perfect, Eds,” Steve replied as he leaned even closer over the counter. “Can I kiss you?”

Eddie’s breath whooshed out of him, but he nodded almost frantically, and Steve wasted no time closing the distance between them.

It was a quick kiss, almost chaste if not for the hungry groan Steve let out just before he pulled back. Eddie chased the kiss, but he was stopped by the counter when Steve took a step back toward the door. “See you on Saturday,” he said and then he left the shop.

It was only when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket with Eddie’s text message that Steve actually allowed himself to celebrate his win.

Eddie was absolutely not freaking out. That would be ridiculous. It’s not like he’d never slept with a guy way too hot for him before.

It would be the first time he slept with a guy that was way too hot for him and also a friend, though.

See, he was very much into Steve Harrington ever since that first time he played D&D with his club. The moment Dustin strolled in with Steve in tow, Eddie’s fate was sealed, and he resigned himself to pining after him forever. The constant stream of flirting wasn’t lost on Eddie, but there was no way Steve could be meaning it.

Eddie knew he wasn’t ugly or anything, but he also wasn’t hot, at least not on the same level as Steve. He knew his good angles for photos, and he knew how to style himself best, but he didn’t have the effortless looks like Steve. Eddie didn’t wake up looking gorgeous like Steve likely did.

Aside from that, Eddie was an absolute nerd, a weirdo, and Steve was as normal as they came. Sure, Steve played one-shots with Hellfire, but he never asked to join the actual party or anything like that. Plus, the moment Eddie got too excited about one of his nerdy books, shows, movies, or whatever, he knew Steve would take off.

Despite Steve’s flirting, the man exuded “vanilla” and while Eddie would definitely still enjoy that, he knew it was only a matter of time before Steve would find out his true desires. If Steve ever saw his collection of toys at home…

Which is why he’s going over to Steve’s place. Nothing crazy to scare anyone off before they got off at least once. Eddie could absolutely pretend to be normal for one, maybe two hook-ups. He would definitely be ignoring the little pang in his chest about only sleeping with Steve a couple times.

All that mattered was he was spending the night at Steve’s, and he was probably going to have the best sex of his life and he would be fine walking away from that.

Arriving at Steve’s apartment, Eddie knocked and waited a bit anxiously for Steve to answer. The moment the door opened, Eddie smoothed his expression into something cockier as he leaned against the door frame, smirking as Steve smiled brightly at him.

“Heya, how’s it going, big boy?” he asked, voice low and suggestive.

Steve laughed and to Eddie’s surprise, he pulled Eddie in for a sweet kiss. “Better now that you’re here,” Steve murmured against his lips before dragging him inside.

“You hit all the guys you seduce with that corny line, Stevie?” Eddie asked a bit breathlessly as Steve pushed his leather jacket off his shoulders. Steve just chuckled as he moved his mouth to Eddie’s throat and ran his hands up underneath his shirt.

“Only the very special guys,” Steve hummed directly into Eddie’s ear as he walked him further into the apartment. Eddie’s gut fluttered at that, and he tried to calm himself down.

Everything became a bit of a whirlwind after that, between grasping hands, greedy mouths, and rolling hips but eventually Eddie’s senses returned to him. They were sprawled across Steve’s bed, Eddie on his back with the other man on top of him with his hip rocking against Eddie’s dick. Both of them were completely naked, actually humping each other like teenagers as they panted into the sloppy kiss they shared.

Eddie snapped out of his daze and grabbed Steve’s hips, stilling his perfect, rolling motion and gasped, “Whoa, tiger. Let’s slow down a bit, or we’re gonna be done before we even start.”

“Tsk, aw, you can only come once?” Steve asked with an exaggerated little frown, his tone teasing but there was an edge of meanness to it that had a thrill rocketing through Eddie. “Can’t relate at all.”

Steve pushed up and crawled back just enough to stop touching Eddie’s cock and properly straddling his thigh. Hooking a hand under Eddie’s thigh, Steve brought his leg up to press firmly against the hot, wet mess of curls between his legs. With a happy little groan, Steve pinned Eddie’s hips against the bed, bracing himself with that contact, and started rocking his dick against his leg in earnest.

All Eddie could do was lay there while Steve moved, his hips moving in a sinful, swiveling motion that hinted at what Eddie had to look forward to. At that thought, Eddie groaned and reached up to run his hands over Steve’s stomach and chest. He thumbed the tattooed leaves and vines that followed the thin scars below Steve’s pecs, and Eddie relished the way Steve groaned at his light touch.

Steve let out another desperate sound as his stomach tensed, and Eddie was brought back to the present moment. Looking down, Eddie let out a thick groan at the shine of Steve’s slick spread over the tattooed skin of his thigh. Steve was so wet, and Eddie wanted to taste him there, to pull Steve up over his face and fucking drown himself with it.

A second later, a punched-out, shattered cry burst out of Steve’s throat, and he rocked hard and erratically against Eddie’s leg. Steve was beautiful when he came, with his perfect mouth open with his strangled noises and his strong brow furrowed, a pretty pink blush staining his cheeks, down his throat, and across his chest.

It was such a gorgeous sight, Eddie wanted to see it again, immediately.

Eddie reached up to wrap a hand around the back of Steve’s head, tangling in his thick hair and pulling him down for a hungry kiss. Dropping his leg, Eddie reached between Steve’s thighs with his other hand and began working his dick between his fingers. Steve was making delicious little noises against Eddie’s lips, rocked down to meet Eddie’s hand.

Pulling away from the kiss, Eddie asked, “Inside okay?”

“Yeah,” Steve moaned, and Eddie immediately slid two fingers further back and into Steve’s cunt.

Eddie didn’t waste any time in searching for Steve’s sweet spot, crooking his fingers at the same time he angled his thumb to continue working Steve’s dick.

The noise that tumbled from Steve’s throat and into Eddie’s mouth was intoxicating, and Eddie doubled his efforts. Steve’s cunt clenched around his fingers and Eddie pulled Steve’s head back enough to watch his face as he came with a shuddering whine.

Steve’s second release was just as beautiful. Some part of him wanted his phone so he could take a picture so he could see it again in the future.

“Okay, enough,” Steve groaned, reaching down to push Eddie’s hand away and climbing off of him to lounge back on his elbows. A suggestive expression settled across Steve’s features as he said, “There’s some shelves in the closet over there. How about you go choose your ride?”

If Eddie wasn’t so aroused, he’d be embarrassed at how quickly he clambered off the bed.

The moment Eddie stepped into the walk-in closet; he was first taken aback by the sea of polos while he searched for the shelves in question. When his eyes landed on them finally, he very nearly choked on his own tongue.

See, Eddie figured Steve had a decent collection of strap-ons if he was bragging so brazenly all this time, and he assumed it was a variation of sizes, textures, and features like vibrators and the like. What he never even considered was that Steve was a freak like him. Yet there he was standing in Steve’s closet looking at a collection of dildos that looked very similar to the ones Eddie used on himself at home. Except there was a lot more than Eddie was able to afford on his modest paycheque.

To put it simply, almost every single cock was a novelty cock. There were fat dragon cocks, long werewolf cocks with mouth-watering knots, tentacles of varying softnesses and lengths. Some Steve had doubles of, and the only difference was that the one had a cum-tube and the other didn’t. One of the werewolf cocks was repeated in every size possible except for the smallest.

On the bottom shelf were the normal dildos that Eddie had expected which gave that illusion of choice that had his stomach doing somersaults. Eddie could go for the normal ones, play at being normal for the night and gradually ease into the freaky shit with Steve. But his eyes kept returning to the shelf practically dedicated to all the cocks with knots, particularly the one Steve had in all the sizes.

Deciding on the werewolf one was easy enough, but choosing the size was tough. Looking closer, he noticed that Steve had ordered these cocks with a cum-tube, but only in the medium, large, and extra-large ones. The ones where the knots were at least as wide as a fucking soda can.

So, Steve was a freak freak. Eddie was maybe actually in love.

“You good in there, Eds?” Steve called, and the knowing tone in his voice had shame burning hot in Eddie’s gut, making his cock fucking leak.

“Y-yeah,” Eddie replied, clearing his throat as he grabbed the medium werewolf cock with the cum-tube, feeling his blush down to his bellybutton. He could absolutely take the bigger ones—and did so fairly often at home with the ones he owned—but he had never had the pleasure of someone else fucking him with a cock that large. It was better to start a little smaller, right?

Stepping back out into the bedroom, Eddie had to work to maintain eye-contact as he held the dildo out to Steve.

The toothy, broad grin that split Steve’s face had Eddie’s legs shaking under his weight. “The medium, huh?” Steve hummed knowingly as he slid off the bed and stood so close to Eddie, they were almost touching. Looking Eddie up and down appraisingly, Steve added, “I was sure you’d choose the large at least.”

Eddie opened his mouth to argue, but all that came out was a choked-off whine as a new wave of shame sent more heat rushing south. Somehow this asshole—this hot, amazing, freak of an asshole—had him figured out completely and they were barely even friends.

“Figured we could save that for next time, hm?” Eddie said without consciously deciding to do so, and Steve’s wolfish grin softened around the edges, his eyes bright with something other than lust.

“Next time, huh? Haven’t even got my cock in you and you’re planning for next time?” Steve asked teasingly as he took the dildo from Eddie, and his grin turned wicked again as he realized it was one with a cum-tube. Steve practically purred as he asked, “Oh, Eddie. You want me to breed you?”

Eddie couldn’t have responded to that question any other way if he wanted to. “Fuck, please,” he all but moaned, shivering under Steve’s heated gaze.

Steve leaned in as if to kiss Eddie, but stopped short and said, “How about you get comfy on the bed while I get ready.”

Then Steve slapped his ass and slipped past him into the closet to grab one of the leather harnesses.

Eddie almost stood there and watched Steve get ready, but getting on the bed also had its merits. Scrambling back onto it, he realized there was a stack of towels on the edge. That meant a few things, all of which had Eddie spiraling for different reasons.

Firstly, it meant that Steve was either prepared with towels near his bed on principle, or he had enough time to grab them while Eddie blue-screened choosing a cock to rearrange his guts with. The former was so endearing it hurt Eddie’s heart, and the latter was honestly a bit embarrassing.

Secondly, Steve knew this was going to be messy, possibly even guessed from the start that Eddie would choose a cock that could inject a bunch of lube deep into his ass. That was a lot to unpack, especially with how much it had his cock weeping onto the comforter.

Remembering his actual task, he debated how to set himself up for Steve. The other man didn’t tell him what to do with himself, just to get comfy, so it was up to Eddie. Part of him wanted to be facing Steve, but that felt too intimate, too soon.

With a shudder, Eddie piled up all the pillows under the comforter then laid two towels over it. Then Eddie settled on his elbows and knees above the pile with a sigh, his chest sinking into the pillows comfortably. It was enough to make Eddie blush even deeper, having his ass on full display while he was virtually alone in an unfamiliar bedroom. The thought of Steve stepping out of the closet and seeing him like that on the bed—

“Holy shit, Eds.”

Eddie wasn’t sure when it had happened, but his eyes had closed. Opening them quickly, he looked over and nearly came at the sight of Steve wearing the cock of his dreams, held on with a light-pink leather harness. The syringe for the cum-tube was held against Steve’s skin under one of the straps, and Eddie could tell Steve had prepared a full load by how far the plunger was pulled out.

Steve’s expression was equal parts awed and lustful as his eyes traveled over his body, and Eddie almost wanted to hide. There was nothing so special about him for someone like Steve to be looking at Eddie like that.

Then that predatory grin returned in full force as Steve climbed onto the bed behind Eddie, dropping a bottle of lube next to Eddie’s knee. That smile was going to be the star of Eddie’s fantasies for the rest of life.

“Presenting yourself so pretty for me already, sweetheart?” Steve cooed, the affection in his tone in direct contrast to the rough way he groped Eddie’s ass apart and exposed his hole even more.

“Steve,” Eddie whined when the rough pad of Steve’s thumb pressed flat across his entrance, teasing at pushing in dry.

“What, baby?” Steve asked, taking his thumb away to spit almost directly on his hole.

“Oh, holy shit,” Eddie practically squeaked out, his cock throbbing at the sensation of Steve’s saliva sliding down his taint as the thumb returned to massage his entrance again.

“You like that, sweetheart?” Steve purred, and while it was worded like a question, it was absolutely said as a statement. It was an observation.

“Steve, please, fuck me,” Eddie begged, tears springing to his eyes when he felt Steve’s cock slide against his inner thigh.

“Gotta prepare you first, Eds,” Steve responded, his tone smug as he grabbed the lube to slick his fingers.

“Won’t need much,” Eddie whimpered as the first digit slid easily into him.

Steve laughed at that a bit. “You get fucked like this regularly?” he asked, and Eddie shuddered as a second finger pressed into him.

“N-no, only on my own, with my own t-toys,” Eddie managed to gasp out as he rocked back against the fingers gently fucking him.

Steve groaned. “You have a cock like mine at home?” he asked, his voice a low growl.

“Y-yeah,” Eddie replied with a moan as a third finger pushed inside.

Finally, Steve’s fingers curled downward sharply, nailing Eddie’s prostate with scary accuracy and dragging a scream from his throat. “How often do you fuck yourself on my cock without me, sweetheart?” Steve asked, voice thick with his want.

The way that was worded, the implication of possession, had Eddie panting even more than the stimulation against his prostate did. “Often e-enough,” he whimpered in response, eyes rolling back when Steve spread his fingers in his hole.

“You are pretty loose,” Steve agreed with an edge to his tone that was just mean enough for Eddie’s cock to throb hotly. “But you’ve never had someone else give it to you?”

“Never, I promise, never,” Eddie gasped out, and caught up as he was in the moment, Eddie looked over his shoulder with a shy flutter of his lashes. “You’re my first, Stevie.”

For the first time that evening, Eddie seemed to actually catch Steve off guard, leaving the gorgeous man speechless as he stared down at him. Steve’s jaw was clenched, and nostrils flared while he took a few controlled breaths.

“Stevie?” Eddie prompted, rocking back onto the fingers that had stilled inside him.

Eddie’s voice seemed to do the trick in snapping Steve out of his thoughts. Withdrawing his fingers, he got started on slicking the length of his cock to the knot with a liberal amount of lube. The sound of his hand on it was absolutely obscene, it was so wet.

After a few moments, Steve spat on Eddie’s hole again and grinned at the way Eddie whimpered, then he was lining up and pushing inside.

It hurt, of course it did, but it was definitely on the good side of hurt. Eddie’s entire world narrowed onto the cock splitting his ass open, the way the girth widened as it slid into him. Once again, Eddie found that his eyes were screwed shut without him consciously choosing to close them. Blinking rapidly and looking over his shoulder, Eddie groaned thickly at the way Steve was watching his cock slowly sink into him.

“Steve, please, faster,” Eddie whined, shaking with the effort not to rock back and take Steve’s cock the rest of the way. “I can take it, please.”

“Don’t be greedy, Eddie,” Steve scolded lightly, not even looking away from where they were connected. “I want to watch your pretty hole struggle to take my cock every inch of the way.”

“Stevie,” Eddie sobbed desperately, blushing all the way to his chest.

When Steve stopped at the thickest point of the length, Eddie shook. He was so full, the stretch of his hole around Steve overwhelming, the burn of it driving him insane. Eddie’s hole clenched around the girth, struggling to adjust, and he let out a low whine.

At that, Steve sighed and snapped his hips forward. Eddie choked as the knot was pressed flush against his hole, the length of Steve thick and heavy inside him.

“Gonna fuck you now, sweetheart,” Steve cooed, and Eddie’s eyes rolled back.

“Please, please, fuck me,” he gasped, shuddering as Steve slowly begins to pull out.

Steve chuckled darkly. “Not gonna be gentle with you,” he said, voice low and growling.

“Promise?” Eddie asked a bit cheekily, looking over his shoulder to meet Steve’s positively hungry look.

Just like that, what control Steve had over himself snapped and his hips began to move. As Eddie guessed, Steve’s thrusting movements earlier were foreshadowing for the main event, and Christ was it fucking amazing. Eddie could barely breathe as Steve fucked him relentlessly, his hands on Eddie’s hips dragging him back to meet his thrusts.

Eddie was getting loud with his pleasure, punched-out little half-screams exploding from his throat. Remembering that Steve lived in an apartment and likely had neighbours, Eddie bit the pillow his chest was pressed into, muffling himself a bit.

“No,” Steve growled, and then there was a hand twisting into Eddie’s hair and pulling, lifting Eddie’s face out of the pillow. “Let me hear you.”

“Your neighbours—”

“Are gonna know just how good you feel,” Steve interrupted, and he added an extra movement to his thrusts that had his cock nailing Eddie’s prostate on every slide inward.

“Steve, please, please, please,” Eddie babbled, feeling his release building hot and heavy in his gut. He didn’t want to come until he had Steve’s knot inside him, but he couldn’t get the words out, too busy sobbing Steve’s name. It didn’t help that Steve was now using his hair as leverage.

“What is it, Eds?” Steve asked and he stopped at the next thrust, pressing the knot against him but not pushing it in. Eddie whimpered, tears falling down his cheeks as Steve knew but refused to oblige.

“Please, Steve, want it,” Eddie managed to gasp out.

“Want what?” Steve asked knowingly, almost meanly.

Eddie whimpered and rocked back against the knot. “Want it,” was all he could say to articulate his needs. “All of it, please, all of it inside.”

“You want my knot, baby?” Steve groaned, and Eddie felt him pick up the bottle of lube. He could feel a thick stream of the slick stuff pooling against his hole and the knot until it was spilling down his thighs.

“Yes, yes, Steve, I want your knot,” Eddie sobbed, tears streaming down his face now.

“Gonna give it to you, baby, don’t you worry,” Steve promised, rocking against Eddie with a bit more purpose, each shift becoming a more insistent push. “Gonna seal you with it and pump you full of my pups, huh?”

Eddie let out an almost hysterical giggle at that, overwhelmed by just how much that was doing for him, how hot it was to imagine even for a second. “Please,” he practically wailed as Steve pushed and the thickest part of the knot was stretching his hole.

“Please, what, Eds?” Steve asked knowingly, meanly even, and Eddie let out another one of his hysterical giggles.

“Give it to me, give me the knot, want it so bad, wanna feel it inside me, want you to fucking breed me, please—” Eddie was cut off with a choked grunt as Steve pushed the rest of the way in, the knot sliding in and nestling just so against Eddie’s prostate.

Steve pulled back a bit and the way the knot pulled on Eddie’s hole had him seeing stars. With a chuckle, Steve shook his hips side to side and seemed greatly amused at the way Eddie was forced to follow the motion.

“Touch yourself, Eds,” Steve ordered, and immediately Eddie had a hand underneath himself, stroking his cock in desperate, frantic motions. He had never needed to come this badly in his life.

Then Steve pressed his hips flush against Eddie’s ass, sliding the massive cock inside him deeper, and swiveling his hips in such a way that the knot was relentless pressure against Eddie’s prostate. Distantly, Eddie was aware that he was babbling nonsense, practically screaming it as his release came barreling closer.

“Here it comes, sweetheart,” Steve groaned, and that’s when Eddie felt the bloom of something warm and wet deep inside him.

And that did it.

Eddie didn’t even try to strangle the scream that exploded out of him as he came, shuddering violently as he clenched tightly around Steve’s girth while his release spilled over his hand and thighs and the towel underneath him.

With a dark chuckle, Steve pulled until the knot popped out and Eddie whimpered pitifully. Then he began to move again, as if he was about to fuck Eddie like he hadn’t just had the biggest orgasm of his life. The sound of Steve’s cock moving in and out of his bred hole was absolutely obscene, and Eddie could feel his own dick trying to get hard again.

“Can’t—” Eddie gasped, reaching back with his messy hand to stop Steve, and the other man immediately acquiesced.

“My turn, I think,” Steve agreed and suddenly Eddie was empty and Steve wasn’t touching him anymore, which was not what he wanted at all.

Then Steve rolled Eddie over onto his back and crawled up his body until he was straddling his face. If Steve was wet earlier when he was riding Eddie’s thigh, he was absolutely drenched now. Eddie thought back to earlier when he had imagined himself drowning in the wetness of Steve’s cunt, and Eddie wondered if the other man could literally read minds.

“C’mon Eds, put that mouth to good use,” Steve teased, grabbing Eddie’s hair and lowering himself to his lips.

Eddie immediately responded, lapping and sucking at Steve’s dick with purpose. Staring dazedly up the perfect, long line of Steve’s torso, Eddie happily watched him writhe and moan.

With a groan, Eddie lifted one hand to slip two fingers into Steve’s cunt curling them until Steve jolted with a sharp gasp.

“Oh, fuck,” Steve groaned, one hand twisting in Eddie’s hair as the other held onto the headboard.

Staring up at Steve through his lashes, Eddie squirmed as he felt Steve’s “load” start to trickle out of him, adding more to the mess of lube between his cheeks and on the bed. The sensation was uncomfortable, but it also served as an intimate reminder of what they did and that had Eddie’s cock trying to get hard again.

Before Eddie could think too much more about it, however, Steve’s grip in his hair became punishing and then he was coming, his cunt pulsing around Eddie’s fingers. Dutifully, Eddie worked him through it, continuing for as long as Steve would let him, which seemed to work just fine with Steve.

Steve finally lifted himself away from Eddie’s mouth after he came a third time on his tongue and fingers, his eyes shut as he collected himself. Eddie was in heaven, virtually floating where he laid on the bed staring up at the ceiling. Half of Eddie’s face was wet with Steve’s slick and the rest of his face was coated in sweat, his long, curly hair sticking to the dampness over his face.

Collapsing onto the bed next to Eddie, Steve laughed breathlessly. “That was fucking hot,” he said, grinning over at Eddie.

Eddie chuckled and nodded. “The hottest,” he agreed, already considering how soon they could meet up again for round two, or if he should just cut the crap and go on a proper date with the other man.

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