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jalapeno-princess · 3 years

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Catching Feelings

(Look at him doing the bare minimum and still making me fling my panties across the room Damn you Im Jaebeom)

Jaebeom X Reader

Word Count: 20K (Guys this is the longest fic I have ever posted on here wtffff)(I just couldn’t stop writing omg)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut (Sugar, spice and everything nice)

Summary: You’ve been in love with your best friend Jaebeom for longer than you can count on both your hands. Unfortunately, time never seemed to be on your side. Every time he was single, you were in a relationship and when he started seeing someone, you were by yourself. One day, he asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend in order to make his ex-girlfriend jealous but little do either of you know that the few days of fake dating will actually lead to something you would have never expected in your many years of knowing him for.

A/N: Hey guys! This was requested by the amazing @solarblooms one of the sweetest people I’ve met on here thank you so much for this request I’m sorry if it didn’t turn out the way you would have liked but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Happy reading!!

“Jaebeom, you can’t be serious. I don’t think you know what you’re asking me right now.”

“You’re acting as if I’m asking you to run a marathon y/n.”

You let out a scoff before getting up and reaching for both coffee cups that you and Jaebeom drank from in the last hour. When he asked you for a favor, you didn’t think much of it. The older boy always asked you to do errands for him every now and then and as the caring and loyal person you were, you would do whatever he’d ask of you with no hesitation.

Honestly, Jaebeom was the only person you would go out of your way to help; not only because he was your best friend, but because you knew he would do the same thing for you in a heartbeat. That was just how your friendship worked. The two of you have been friends for more years than you could count on both hands. This meant that you’ve seen each other through it all; drunken stupors, food poisoning, flu season, walking in on each other naked and failed relationships. The latter was the reason why you were both upset yet flustered at his sudden request.

“I would rather complete the damn 24 mile run. Let me get this straight, you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend in order to make Ella jealous? You’ve said a lot of stupid shit in all my years of knowing you but this has to be the most insane thing I’ve ever heard. Why me? Why not just get another girlfriend—she’ll know somethings up right off the bat. Do you really think she’s stupid enough to believe that you and I would actually start dating? You’re better off telling her that you’re in a relationship with a celebrity; that would be more probable.”

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to help him out—especially because you weren’t the biggest fan of his ex-girlfriend. Jaebeom in more or less words had to be one of the most devastatingly handsome men you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. He also had one of the biggest and most genuine hearts—even if he’d come off as cold and intimidating. People say nobody’s perfect; and it was true that he did have his faults, but he also came pretty close to being practically flawless in your eyes.

The reason why you were so hesitant towards helping him with this specific favor, was because you had feelings for him—and that was an understatement. You don’t remember exactly when you first began looking at Jaebeom in a different light, but when you started to crave his presence more and more, mentally outline his sharp features, found yourself daydreaming about what it would be like to kiss those pretty, plump lips of his; that’s when you knew that you no longer saw him as an older brother.

You and Jaebeom met in second grade when he transferred over to your school after his family moved to your small town in order to open up their first coffee shop. He was very shy and extremely introverted. For the first two weeks since his arrival, he never really talked to any of the other students unless his teacher asked him to do so.

At recess and at lunch, he normally sat by himself and the sight always made you feel sad. You didn’t have all that many friends, but you had enough to converse with and to keep you company. One day, you found yourself walking over to where he was sitting and placed your tray right down in front of him. You’ll never forget the way he looked up at you with the most adorable gaze of confusion.

“Hi. I’m y/n. Is it okay if I sit here? You look pretty lonely.”

“Oh—um—go ahead.”

The rest of your lunch time together was very quiet—he obviously didn’t seem like the type to want to start a conversation, especially with someone he wasn’t familiar with. You also didn’t know what to say to him; you didn’t want to make things even more awkward by saying something he didn’t particularly like. However, you felt at ease—the atmosphere was calming and for some reason, you felt it had to do with his presence.

Something about Jaebeom made you feel pleasant; safe. When the bell rang to signal that lunch was over, you were right about to stand up in attempts to throw away your lunch until you heard the faintest call of your name. You turned around to look at the mysterious boy and hummed in curiosity.

“This was nice—I um—I’m not the most talkative person. I’m more of a listener. If it’s okay with you, would you maybe want to—be friends?”

You gave him a toothy grin before nodding profusely; excited with the idea of getting to know him and being the first person he wanted to start a friendship with.

“I’d like that.”

From that day on, the two of you were attached to the hip; your mothers would refer to the both of you as magnets. Everywhere you went, anyone could expect the older boy to be right there with you. He was more than just your best friend—he was your safety blanket, your confidant—in a metaphorical sense, he was like your umbrella on a rainy day.

His arms were your shelter, you would find solace in him whenever you were having a rough day. You felt in your heart that the two of you were soulmates; even if your relationship was strictly platonic. It wasn’t until he got his first girlfriend back in your freshman year of high school did you realize that you saw him as more than just a friend.

Watching him act so sweetly towards his girlfriend made you extremely jealous and you lied to yourself for years thinking it was because you were afraid to lose him as a friend if his girlfriends decided that they didn’t like your position in his life. You also tried to tell yourself it was because you had yet to experience being in a relationship and you just wanted to feel the love and adoration Jaebeom never failed to show to his first girlfriend.

Even after all these years, through the few boyfriends and one night stands that you’ve had, your feelings for Jaebeom never faltered. If anything, they only grew stronger when you realized that nobody could ever make you as happy or make you feel as cared for as Jaebeom has for almost two decades now. Nobody could ever take his place—no matter how hard you tried to get over him. Your best friend had a reputation of being a textbook fuckboy.

His first relationship was the last relationship he put his heart and soul in to. Every relationship after that was doomed before it could really even start. He had a bad tendency of leading a lot of girls on; completing them and making empty promises before taking what he wanted—fulfilling his carnal urges and leaving them in the dust. This went on throughout the entirety of high school. As his best friend and the only girl he seemingly put on a pedestal, you had a hard time understanding why he continued to fool around with half of the student body and treat a lot of these girls like they were nothing important.

What did he get from cheating on and breaking the hearts of all these poor innocent girls? Especially since he was so kind and soft towards you. He’s never said it to you out loud, but you were his biggest weakness. He would go through hell and back just to keep that beautiful smile he adored so much permanently on your face. There were times where you questioned the thought of him reciprocating your same feelings. Whenever a guy showed interest in you or even when you started seeing someone, he was very verbal about how he didn’t approve of anyone you were involved with; whether the relationship was romantic or not.

Even when you were paired up with other guys in projects, he wasn’t too fond of the idea of you being alone with your classmate—so he’d find himself tagging along with you and your partner whenever you’d meet up with them. You were sure it was just his way of being protective of you; he’s always been like that and you were well aware that he had no intention on stopping his overbearing ways at all for that matter. You were afraid that pretending to be his girlfriend would only make you desire actually experiencing the real thing.

There was no way you’d allow yourself to go through that kind of trauma; holding hands with him, going on dates with him—maybe even getting to kiss him. To what extent was he expecting the two of you to go through? How far did he expect you both to go? He must have thought about the kind of pda you would have to do together and you couldn’t help but grow curious at how he felt about being intimate with you, even if it was all just an act.

You released a frustrated sigh; if you said no, you knew he would continue bothering you until you finally gave in or worse—he would actually go along with finding someone else. Whatever your decision was, you’d lose both ways. Might as well go with the one that was less painful.

“What’s in it for me?”

He was quick to stand up and made his way towards you—sporting the biggest grin on his face. You could tell he was surprised at your question, but it didn’t matter. His smile did tug on your heartstrings and you began to feel something in the pit of your stomach that you’ve never felt before. It was hard to tell exactly what you were feeling, but it was a good feeling. He surprised you by picking you up in a hug and swinging you around absentmindedly.

“Anything—I’ll do anything you want me to. God, y/n, you are amazing. You don’t understand how much this means to me. You’re the best person to exist. Thank you so much!”

He explained to you that one of his good friends from high school; one you weren’t all too familiar with was getting married. Unfortunately, his ex-girlfriend was also going to be in attendance. She was the first girl in four years that your best friend genuinely seemed to care about. He stopped hooking up with and talking to other girls once they started dating. You were jealous whenever you’d hear him go in to depth about the love he had for her; even more envious when you’d have to see them kiss in front of you.

Sure, you did not particularly care for any of Jaebeom’s partners because you wanted to be in their place. You craved—desired to be the girl who got to love him—who got to receive his love and appreciate the many sacrifices he would make in order to make his significant happy. As his best friend, he never failed to give you all of his attention. If you ever needed help, he didn’t even have time for a second thought, if you needed him, he was there.

Even if it meant ditching school or leaving work early. You had a feeling that no one in their right minds; no matter how close they were to someone or how much that person meant to them, would do the things for them the way Jaebeom never once hesitated to do for you. However, your distaste for Ella went beyond jealousy. There was no doubt Jaebeom cared for her in ways that he’s never cared about any other girl—well, besides you. He would pick her up and drop her off to and from work, he would call her on his breaks to make sure she was getting enough rest in between classes, he would buy her cute little trinkets and even prepared lunch for her.

You’ve never seen him put in so much effort for one of his girlfriends before and it honestly worried you; you felt as if there was a chance she might be the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Unbeknownst to both you and the older boy, Jaebeom had actually met his match. Memories of the night that he found out she wasn’t the perfect girl he thought she was came flashing through your mind like it was just yesterday.

Four months ago, you were out in your living room watching a few murder mystery documentaries—seconds away from falling asleep when you heard a loud pounding on your door. At first, the sound startled you. The only people who came over to your apartment were your parents, your siblings, Jaebeom and a few other friends. You knew your best friend had a graveyard shift tonight; so you crossed him off of your list as to who it could be. However, when you looked through the peephole, you could’ve sworn your heart actually sank to the bottom of your stomach. You wasted no time in opening the door and pulled Jaebeom in to your embrace before either of you could say anything to one another. His eyes were red and puffy; there were dried tears on his cheek quickly being replaced by many more fresh ones.

From past experiences, you knew not to ask him what was wrong. You were going to wait until he told you, even if you were very curious as to what could have happened. It didn’t even cross your mind that it had to do with his relationship. The two of you flopped on to your couch and he quickly threw himself in to your arms. He might have been the dominant one who always did the protecting, but this time—he was the one who needed to be held and that’s exactly what you did.

After half an hour of quiet sobs and rubbing his back as he heaved and hiccuped, he finally confessed as to what made him so upset. He didn’t have to really say anything—just hearing the words “Ella cheated on me” sent you in to a furious rage. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t see this coming. There were a couple of scenarios when you felt like something was wrong, or that she was hiding something. When Jaebeom first introduced you to one another, you immediately got bad vibes from her. She was the type of person who talked so highly about herself. You never understood what your best friend saw in her.

Sure, she was pretty, but it was a basic kind of pretty. Like, if you were to see her on the street, you honestly wouldn’t do a double take. Ella was also very disrespectful; she was constantly on her phone while you tried to talk to her, she never said please or thank you and she was very verbal about her disinterest in certain things. One time, Jaebeom had you tag along with them to a restaurant and she complained about not being served within the first couple of minutes.

That experience alone made your ill-feelings towards her grow even stronger; but you never wanted to tell Jaebeom in fear of him disagreeing with you. It was adamant that he really liked her. When it were just you and Jaebeom alone, he would find ways to bring her up in the conversation even if the topic had nothing to do with her and on the days that you just so happened to be with them, he would always feel the need to touch her or to compliment her. It was disgusting—but not because you were jealous.

You had a gut feeling that she wasn’t who she portrayed herself out to be in front of Jaebeom. If he were to excuse himself to use the bathroom, her fake smile would immediately drop as she would glare at you. Then, she would always seem to be texting someone. There wasn’t anything wrong with her being in contact with other people; for all you assumed, it could have been a friend or a family member.

However, the way she would bite her lip or smile while rapidly typing back and forth with someone made it evident that there was a possibility it was another guy. You let it go though, even if you were dying to tell Jaebeom of your speculations. He told you that he caught her making out with another man outside of her apartment as he went over to surprise her. Jaebeom wasn’t a pushover or the type of person to beat around the bush; he confronted her as soon as he parked the car and screamed at her—telling her that she ruined everything and that he would have done anything for her.

There was nothing you hated more than to see Jaebeom so emotional and broken; especially because he was the definition of a force to be reckoned with. This was the first time in your many years of friendship that you e seen him so worked up before. That memory of seeing him at his weakest is what got you to give in to him. You didn’t think it was going to work; although you had a feeling Ella didn’t like you from the moment you met her, you didn’t think it was because she was jealous of you.

It was understandable though; you may have been very understanding, but you didn’t know how it would feel to be in her shoes. If your boyfriend had a female best friend, it was only natural that you would feel weird and assume the worst. But Jaebeom was honest with every girl that he fooled around with; you were his number one girl no matter what. He even ended a couple of flings specifically because the girls would give him an ultimatum to choose between seeing them and being friends with you. Of course, Jaebeom chose you every single time.

“There will be four events we have to attend. The first two are just luncheons, then there’s the rehearsal dinner and the actual wedding. I’ve already purchased all of my outfits. Since you’re helping me out, you and I can go shopping tomorrow and I’ll buy you anything from anywhere—I mean, don’t go crazy. I just paid off my car. But if you have a couple of dresses you already own that you’d prefer wearing, then that’s pretty cool too. I was thinking we could match so it would be a little more convincing. Oh—and um—we’re going to have to be affectionate. I’m sure you’re already aware of that. If it makes you uncomfortable, then we don’t have to do anything other than hold hands and hug. Not anything we’re not used to anyways.”

You could only hope your cheeks weren’t flushing with pink from his words. It was expected that you’d have to have some form of skin ship and like he said, the two of you were used to touching one another. Sometimes you’d cuddle up while lying in bed together or he would wrap his arms around your waist and place his chin on your shoulder but it never occurred to you that you would now have to do these things in front of other people.

“I’m fine with that. So, when exactly is the wedding?” He scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment; something you’ve noticed he would do whenever he did something wrong or had something to hide. You’ve known each other for so long that you knew the meaning behind each and every one of his mannerisms.

“Uh—Next week Saturday.”

Your eyes widened in shock; that didn’t give you much time to prepare anything. Especially not your sensitive heart.

“Im Jaebeom are you serious?! Why didn’t you say anything earlier—“

“I’m sorry!! But I didn’t think you would actually agree. It took me a solid three weeks to build the courage and ask you. Your outfit is the only thing you have to worry about. I’ve already responded to the rsvp for the both of us—“

You scoffed before crossing your arms in disbelief. Im Jaebeom was really a piece of work. How did you put up with him for so many years?

“So you knew I was going to say yes.”

He shook his head; but the small smirk that left as soon as it rose on his face made it clear that yes, he had a feeling you were going to agree. Even if he had to beg you for hours on end.

“I was hoping you would want to do something so big for me because I’m your best friend and you love me.” You took in a deep breath and felt your heartbeat begin to increase.

If only he knew just how true his statement was.

For the week leading up to the wedding events, Jaebeom came over to your apartment practically every single day. It wasn’t something you weren’t used to; he visited so often that a lot of his things were scattered throughout your space but you liked it that way. However, he told you that he wanted to practice being intimate with you. If you were cooking the two of you dinner, he’d stand right behind you and pulled your body up against his.

He began buying you bouquets of your favorite flowers, constantly held your hand even if the two of you were sitting down; he also would pull you on to his lap and stated to hide his face in the crook of your neck. One night, he even placed a few kisses up against your jaw and you found yourself ultimately regretting your decision to assist him. The proximity and constant affection only made your feelings for him deepen if it were even possible.

As much as you wanted to milk every moment with Jaebeom being a fake couple together, you were afraid of getting your heartbroken once this act was all over. The days just seemed to come and go in an instant; school and work took up most of your day and once you were done, you and Jaebeom would watch movies together or play a few board games. Before you knew it, the day of the first luncheon came and you found yourself getting ready. You were never fond of wearing makeup; it wasn’t that you thought you didn’t need it, you just hated having to put it on and it saved you a lot of money not having to purchase any.

It wasn’t like there was anyone in your life that you had to impress otherwise. Jaebeom made it known that you were naturally beautiful. You would always roll your eyes at his comment and think that he was only saying that because he was your best friend. Nonetheless, his compliments always made your heart flutter. While the two of you went shopping for dresses, he made it clear that he liked every single outfit you tried on. You tried your best not to make it obvious that his words were slowly driving you to the brink of insanity.

Why did he have to say all these nice things about you and make you feel like you were more to him than just his best friend? It was natural for friends to compliment each other, but for him to say that you were the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid his eyes on; on top of having the most “ridiculous curves”, you didn’t think friends would say such things.

Right as you were putting the finishing touches of blush on your cheeks, the knock on your door broke you out of your thoughts. You gave yourself a couple of seconds to put yourself together and when you finally opened the door, it’s as if your soul left your body. The only time you’ve ever seen your best friend in a tux was at both junior and senior prom and even then, he broke the rules in the way that he wore his attire.

He didn’t even wear a tie and his dress shirt was unbuttoned, showing partial of his chest—but none of your teachers had the courage to tell him he was breaking dress code. His hair was slicked back, his suit was crisp and wrinkle free and he even put on a tie this time. You didn’t think it was possible for him to look even more handsome than he usually was, but right now, he looked like a Greek God. He was at peak attractiveness and it was taking every bone in your body not to scream in sexual frustration.

“Hey. You look beautiful—really beautiful. Ready to go?”

You simply nodded your head; afraid that you might say the wrong thing if you were to speak up. The car ride was quiet, other than the jazz playlist going on in the background. To your delight and dismay, he brought his free hand to your lap and gently grazed your thigh with his thumb. Your breath hitched at his touch; his hand only went higher on your leg the longer he drove and you were sure you were just seconds away from placing his hand up to where you wanted him the most. Unfortunately, the hotel that the lunch was being held at was closer to your apartment that you had expected—but maybe it was a blessing in disguise.

“I’m really glad you chose that dress. I think it was the best one of the many you tried on.” Once he parked, he wasted no time in walking over to your side of the car and opening the door for you; helping you out and intertwining your fingers together.

“Showtime—Babe.”

God, this was going to be a long day.

As soon as you both entered the lobby and made your way up to the ballroom, you were quick to spot some familiar faces. A lot of Jaebeom’s friends were there—some you knew, some that you were also friends with and some you have never met before. When your mutual friend BamBam saw your intertwined hands, he had to cover his mouth in order to keep himself from squealing.

“No fucking way. I knew the two of you would end up together one day. I fucking knew it. Jackson owes me $20 dollars. Ah, I’m so happy for you both. You look good together. I can’t wait to tell everyone. Let’s go find them shall we?”

The lunch actually went off without a hitch. Thankfully, the groom sat you and Jaebeom at a table with BamBam, Jackson, Mark, Jinyoung, Youngjae and Yugyeom. Jinyoung and Youngjae brought their girlfriends, so you decided to get to know them while the guys got reacquainted with each other. Since it was just a lunch, the day went by pretty quickly. After saying your goodbyes to everyone at your table and making plans to go on double dates now that everyone knew—or at least were convinced that you and Jaebeom were dating, he grabbed your purse before reaching for your hand and led you out to his car.

“See, that wasn’t so bad was it?” You shrugged indifferently before scrunching your nose.

“Ella wasn’t there though. Are you sure she’s going to be a part of this wedding?”

“Positive. She’s close with both the bride and the groom. Maybe she was busy today. Probably fucking that asshole of a coworker—“

“Hey, don’t start. Please. She didn’t deserve you Jaebeom. You are an amazing—wonderful—otherworldly human being. Any girl would be lucky to have you. I know it sucks being cheated on, but maybe this was a blessing—don’t give me that look. Hear me out. I don’t want to assume that she’s been cheating on you all this time, but it’s better you found out sooner than to do something stupid like ask her to marry you and find out later that she was being unfaithful.”

You don’t know what got over you in that moment; whether it was seeing him on the verge of tears, or just being in the moment after all the touches you’ve shared with each other today, but you got on your tippy toes and placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

“You’ll be okay Jaebeom. She’ll be nothing but a memory once this week is over. Let’s get you home.”

The next luncheon came—still no sign of Ella, yet Jaebeom grew clingier than the day before. It also seem as if he genuinely enjoyed introducing you as his girlfriend to some of his friends. You weren’t going to lie, you were enjoying the chivalry; none of your ex-boyfriends ever pulled out a chair for you or took off their jackets for you to wear. You could also feel eyes on you from who you assumed to be girls who either had a crush on Jaebeom at one point or even had a fling with him.

Although you were the one he had a protective grip on, you did get jealous knowing that some of these girls got to experience what Jaebeom was like behind closed doors. A lot of the girls in high school were extremely vocal about what sex with Jaebeom was like and you’d find yourself wanting to know yourself. It was silly for you to think you would ever have the chance to be writhing underneath him as you begged him to do anything to smooth the fire burning in your core—but a girl could dream right?

Finally the reason why you and Jaebeom were putting on an act for the last few days came in to play when you walked in to the dining hall together and saw Ella sitting with a couple of other guests. You assumed that the guy whose arm was around her shoulder was the same one Jaebeom caught her cheating with. You clenched your jaw in anger and said a little prayer; wishing for some self control. It wasn’t even you who was cheating on—yet you wanted to walk over to her table and yank her by her poorly done ponytail. Really, what did Jaebeom see in her?

He was too busy getting you both signed in that he wasn’t able to see what was driving you up the walls, but you wanted him to know she was there and that she had unfortunate company. After you were giving your table number, you gently tugged on the bottom of Jaebeom’s suit in order to get his attention and gave him the unpleasant news. His reaction shocked you though; he winked and gave you a smirk.

“I have the hottest date here—I’m not bothered one bit. Come on, I want to talk to Jackson about something.” He brought his hand to your lower back and guided you to the table Jackson was sitting at.

“Damn y/n, you look amazing. You’re making all of us look bad—the bride will probably complain that you’re stealing her spotlight.”

You politely thanked him before softly giggling at his comment. If only you weren’t so busy admiring the center piece and the party favors, you would have been able to see the way Jaebeom was mentally sending daggers towards his best friend’s neck. You did notice that Jaebeom brought his seat closer to yours and his hand that was on his knee was now gripping at your thigh.

To an outsider; it might have been a sexual gesture, but under these circumstances—it just seemed off. Knowing his tendencies of getting angry, you didn’t pry at him. If something was bothering him, he would tell you when he was ready to. You just assumed he was now coming to terms that he was in the same room with his ex-girlfriend and the guy she cheated on him with. Although he seemed out of it for the first hour; especially when his friends tried to star conversation with him, everything settled down once the emcee announced that it was time for everyone to head to the dance floor. You elbowed the other boy and motioned your head towards the stage.

“I want to dance. Can we please?” He furrowed his brows and released a long sigh.

“You know I hate dancing y/n. That’s going to be a hard pass.” It was your turn to sigh, but then you looked across the table and saw your three other friends moving along to the Drake song that was now filling the room.

“Fine. I’ll just ask Jackson. I’m sure he’ll want to—“

“Don’t you fucking dare. You’re mine damnit. Fuck—whatever, let’s go.”

His words confused you; sure, the two of you were pretending to be a couple so there was chance he was just playing along, but to hear him say that you were his so confidently, without hesitation made you feel as though there was more meaning behind it. Once you found a place that the two of you could dance comfortably in, you began to let loose and allowed your body to flow freely. Your hair swung all around and your hips kept up with the movement of the song.

Although he seemed uptight back at the table, it wasn’t long until a smile rose on his face as his hands slowly made their way down to your hips. You wrapped your arms around his neck and continued your movements. The first couple songs were very upbeat and the two of you danced carelessly; you even had a feeling you both looked like fishes flopping out of water but you didn’t care. You were genuinely having so much fun; something that always happened when you were with Jaebeom. After fifth song finished, the Dj played a slower song at the request of the bride.

As soon as boys to men came through the speakers, you didn’t know how to react—nor did you know how you were going to dance along to this song in particular. “I’ll make love to you” was the last song you expected to hear tonight, especially because you’ve been sexually aroused since you left Jaebeom’s apartment. Luckily, you didn’t have to move at all—Jaebeom pulled you closer to him and did the unthinkable. You were always a big fan of his hands.

He’s always had such pretty fingers and you found yourself admiring them on many occasions; yet you weren’t prepared to feel them gripping tightly on both your ass cheeks. You looked up at him in shock but right before you could react, his lips were on yours. You’d find yourself daydreaming about how it would feel to kiss Jaebeom on many occasions; more than you’d liked to admit out loud.

Whenever he would talk, your eyes would always find their way to his mouth. Every time he would bite and nibble on his lips, you would picture what it would be like to do it yourself. However, no daydream could ever prepare you for the actual thing. His lips were soft against yours; he always felt the need to apply chapstick and you were thankful that he was the type to care about things like that. His movements were rushed; as if the world was going to end and the last thing he wanted to do was kiss you. It was a sensation you wouldn’t be able to fathom in to words.

Kissing him right now made you feel like you’ve been missing out on so many years of being able to feel him—actually feel him. You weren’t sure why he felt the need to attach your lips together out of the blue, but you weren’t complaining. He smiled in to the kiss when he felt you put more pressure; molding your lips all but gently against his. You ran your hands up and down his chest and as soon as you heard him moan, that’s when you decided to pull away in fear that you would literally rip his shirt off of him right then and there.

“Jaebeom—“

“I’m sorry, I had to. You just looked so breathtakingly beautiful and seeing you so happy made me act out—you don’t know what you do to me do you? I’m in love with you baby. So fucking in love with you y/n and I have been for a really long time. I hope that kiss helped prove my feelings for you—but if you need more validation, I’d be happy to give you a more physical demonstration. Preferably with our clothes scattered on my bedroom floor while I rail the shit out of you.”

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you let out a groan at both his love confession and his plans for the rest of the night. Were you dreaming? You had to be—there was no way Jaebeom actually confessed to you that he was in love with you. How could he have been in love with you? He never made it seem like he harbored any romantic feelings for you at all the entire duration of your friendship. You stole one more kiss from the corner of his lips before nodding embarrassingly quickly.

“Take me Im Jaebeom. I’m yours. I love you and I’m in love with you too. Let me just run to the bathroom really quickly then we can go and you can have your way with me.”

He allowed you to head over to the restroom while he went back to your table and made up an excuse as to why you had to leave so early. You tried to hurry up with your movements; the desire to finally become one with Jaebeom was seeping through your entire body. When you first entered the bathroom, you were the only one inside. As you heard the door open while you were ready to leave the stall, you didn’t think much of it.

That was until you finally made your way towards the sink and saw just who entered the bathroom. There were so many thoughts running through your mind in that moment; so many things you wanted to say to her, but you had other thoughts occupying your mind. Ones that made your core throb and took your attention away from the girl who was obviously wanting to say something.

“Nice to see you again y/n. You look great. I love your dress—I think I saw it on the sale rack at forever 21 am I mistaken?” You scoffed.

“Yeah, it was right next to your cheap ass lipstick and generic brand of eye shadow.” She was quick to cross her arms and you knew your words got to her—but her anger didn’t last long.

“So you and Jaebeom—can’t say I didn’t see this coming. He would never shut up about you and followed you around like a lost puppy; what a pathetic little boy. It was painfully obvious that he liked you. And you wonder why I cheated. He never liked me to begin with. I never understood why he got in a relationship with me when his heart adamantly belonged to you. Witnessing how you would constantly stare at him though, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that you were just as obsessed. It was a waste of my time though; the sex was underwhelming and his dick was extremely tiny. Good luck with my sloppy seconds.”

Images of you socking her in the face were now filling up your mind—it would be so easy to just slap her or step on her foot, but what good would it do? You’d only look like a bad person and taint Jaebeom’s reputation. Plus, she could press charges and you would cause such a mess at the party. Right as she was about to walk out, you decided to make your own comment.

“Funny you say that considering that I can’t even fit him entirely inside of my mouth. The tip of his cock would always touch the back of my throat and there was still so much of him that my mouth couldn’t cover. Oh, and don’t even get me started on how good he fucks me. If it’s any consolation, Jaebeom is an amazing boyfriend and an even better lover. He treats me and eats me so fucking good. I’m sorry he didn’t think much of you to show you the same affection. Ah, before I go—he told me that you don’t taste all that good—bitter and sour if I remember his exact words. I’d get that checked if I were you.”

Your words felt much more better than a slap would have felt; even if you were blatantly telling lies, you felt as though a huge weight was lifted off of your shoulders. Jaebeom looked at you in confusion and it’s as if you knew he was going to ask you what took you so long. You cupped his cheek and placed a chaste kiss on his nose while saying goodbye to everyone on the table.

“I’m sorry to hear that your dad has a stomach ulcer y/n. I hope he feels better soon.”

Jaebeom was lucky that you were the kind of person to catch on to things quickly; you weren’t all too happy that he lied in order for the two of you to leave without being teased for what you both planned on doing, but you needed him just as badly as he claimed to have needed you. He didn’t even let you take two steps before roughly pressing his hard on against your ass and licking stripes along your neck; only adding to the euphoria you were already sensing as you made out with each other on the dance floor.

“I don’t think I can make it back to either of our places—I need you now.” You were about to ask him where he planned on taking you, but your questions were answered once he began pulling you towards the direction of the lobby.

“Jaebeom, you’re not seriously going to rent a hotel room for one night just so we can fuck—“

“That’s exactly what I plan on doing baby. If I have to wait even just one more minute, I’m going to cum in my pants just at the sight of your tits busting out of your dress. I’d prefer to come inside of you—plus it’s more romantic than what I had in mind. Honestly I was planning to make love to you in a family bathroom or the backseat of my car. I’ve waited to make love to you for longer than I want to say out loud. Just know that I’ve been dreaming of burying myself inside of your pussy for at least six years now. Our first time together is a night I will remember for the rest of my life and I think it would be even more memorable in a fancy setting don’t you think?”

His quick movements towards the front desk almost gave you whiplash, but it only heightened your excitement. He began tapping his foot impatiently as the receptionist took her time typing in his information. You had to stifle back a giggle at the veins that developed on his neck. After what felt like an hour having to wait for her to get you both a room, he yanked the key from her hand and ran towards the hallway leading to the elevators. You were sure the receptionist caught on to what the two of you were going to do once you headed up to the hotel room—but you couldn’t care less.

All that you could think about was finally getting to experience what you’ve been dreaming about for the last few years. You were going to make love to your best friend and you couldn’t be more excited. He didn’t even wait for the elevators to close before forcing you up against the wall, pressing his knee in between your legs in order to get as close to you as he physically could. His hands were gripping tightly at your waist while he attacked your neck and jaw with wet kisses. The feeling of his cock pressing up against your clothed core was a feeling you’ve never experienced before.

You’ve had sex enough times to say you had quite a bit of knowledge on how to please a man. Many of your partners told you that you were a professional at giving head and even more amazing at riding dick. None of their confessions meant anything to you—the only person whose opinion mattered was Jaebeom. You were growing insecure at the idea of not being able to take care of him or pleasure him in the way that previous girls he’s been with might have done. As soon as the doors opened, he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder; earning himself a loud gasp.

“Sorry baby; I can’t wait anymore. Those heels look amazing on you but fuck, they only make you move slower. However, I think it would be extremely sexy for you to keep them on while I fuck you.”

He shoved the keycard inside of the door and you didn’t even get to look around the room; he threw you down on the couch and climbed on top of you. The toothy grin he gave you made your stomach fill with butterflies. You’ve loved him for such a long time; if you were to tell your ten-year-old self that Im Jaebeom, the boy you’ve been crushing on since the second grade when he spent months tying your shoes for you until you actually learned how, reciprocated your same feelings, she would probably laugh in your face. But his comforting touch as he ran his hands along your arms made it all the more real that Jaebeom did in fact love you and you were finally going to experience the love you’ve been wanting to feel since you were a little girl.

“I know I’m seconds away from ripping this dress off of you, but since this is our first time together, I think it would be best for me to explain my love for you—even if only for a couple of minutes. You can hold off from needing to feel my dick inside of you can’t you?” You elbowed him in his ribs before flicking his forehead.

“You’re the one who is spending at least $200 to have sex with me just because you were too impatient to wait to get home.”

“Best $200 I’ve ever spent. Now, as much as I love hearing that sweet voice of yours, please be quiet so I can hurry up and go in to vivid detail about how, when and why I started having feelings for you. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve been in love with you from the day you first approached me back in the cafeteria, but the fact that you wanted to keep me company because you hated seeing me alone made my heart swell up. I knew you were going to be someone special in my life. I think I realized that I was in love with you right after my first break up. I developed a crush on you back in the 7th grade and I’m sure I saw you as more than just a friend even before then. I just didn’t want to ruin our friendship if I told you how I felt and found out that you didn’t reciprocate my same feelings. I know this is far fetched and hard to believe, but I’m telling the truth; every single girl that I’ve been with was my pathetic way of trying to get over you. Obviously, it never worked. They were never you. Nobody could ever be you baby. Nobody could make me feel so important—so happy—so loved and genuinely cared for. I’m happiest when I’m with you and I feel so fucking empty when we’re not together.” He brought his fingers right below your eyelids and wiped away a few stray tears that you didn’t even know built up.

“God, you’re so fucking cute. Anyway, I would always find myself staring at you. No matter what I was doing or who I was with, my eyes would always gravitate toward you. You’re so beautiful—I cannot stress this enough. You are the most beautiful girl to exist, I need you to know that. And it goes on your physical beauty; you have one of the biggest, most generous hearts and you never fail to make me laugh and smile at the most silliest things. I’m sorry for being such an idiot—I should have just grown the balls earlier and told you how I felt. I wouldn’t have wasted all my time fooling around with girls I didn’t care about. I never felt like I deserved you—that’s why I didn’t try I guess. I saw all the guys you developed crushes on and I was nothing like them. So I just assumed you wouldn’t look at me that way. But none of that matters now. I’m yours and you’re mine. I hope you know you’re stuck with me now that we’re together. You’re all I want and have wanted for almost my entire life y/n. I went through so many changes, but you are the only thing that stayed constant. When I first asked you to be my fake girlfriend, I would have never thought we would end up here. I promise; I didn’t plan this entire thing to get you to fall in love with me, but I’m really happy I did. Even happier knowing that you love me. Can you say it again? I don’t think I will ever get used to hearing you tell me you love me.”

You pulled him down and smashed your mouth against his; licking his bottom lip as a nonverbal way to ask for entrance. His movements were quick as he mirrored yours; allowing your tongues to dance in sync together while grinding his pelvis against yours.

“I love you Jaebeom. I’ve always loved you—mmmmm—always going to love you—now fuck me damnit.” He leaned back and gave you a flirtatious smirk, one you were seconds away from smacking off of his face. As emotional as his confession made you, you were now desiring for him to touch you; to really touch you, to feel him enrapture himself deep inside of you.

“Sit up baby—I bought this dress because you looked so good in it, but I’m sure you’ll look so much better without it—and I was right. Holy shit y/n—what the fuck—how are you so fucking perfect are you even real?!”

Your dress was flown across of the room, leaving you in only your underwear and although you weren’t the most confident in your body, the way Jaebeom was looking at you with so much lust; as if he was going to devour you sent your entire body in to a frenzy.

“Why aren’t you wearing a bra? It’s like you want to kill me. Your tits are huge—so pretty. You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to have you like this and now that I do, I’m not going easy on you.” He grabbed at both of your breasts, kneading and molding at them all but gently while leaving sloppy kisses right below your ear. When you felt him pinch at both nipples before twisting them between his calloused fingers, you let out a soft whimper.

“Jaebeom—“

“Yes baby? Everything okay?” You gave him an eager nod as you tilted your head back in pleasure.

“Feels so mmm—so good.” Your words only made his movements quicken and to your surprise, he lowered himself to your chest and brought one of your breasts in to his mouth while continuing to fondle the other. You weren’t a stranger to breast play; you loved whenever your partner would twist your nipples or suck on your titties, but it was different now that Jaebeom was doing it. It was otherworldly—you couldn’t even take in just how wonderful it felt. His tongue swirled around your hardened nipple and before you could even say anything, he brought your nipple in between his teeth.

“Oh God—“

Feeling him hum against your naked chest all the while sucking fervently on your mound made your head spin. You hated that you could already feel your orgasm building up only minutes in to foreplay; but it was expected. Jaebeom already took care of you as if it was his life duty to do so; this time was no different. He dragged his fingers along your stomach; only adding on to your excitement and desire.

His fingers were cold against your skin and you knew he was teasing you seeing that his movements were extremely slow. As much as you were enjoying the attention he was showing to your breasts, the fire burning in your core needed to be put out or else you’d really lose it.

“Jaebeom—babe—“ He abruptly pulled away at the sound of the pet name and gave you his signature grin; the one you’ve been in love with for so many years now.

“Everything alright y/n? I’m not hurting you am I? The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable. Did you need me to slow down?” His laughter filled the room at the sight of you shaking your head faster than usual.

“I’m fine. Trust me, it’s the complete opposite. I’m going to need you to touch me—“

“But I am touching you. I can’t seem to stop touching you.” Upset with his response, you decided to take matters in to your own hands and brought his hand down to your entrance. You made sure that he could feel just how wet you were and you could only hope that it would get him to give you what you wanted.

“Holy shit—you’re soaking. All because I played with your titties for a little while? You’re going to be the death of me.”

“If you don’t hurry up and eat me, you’ll be the death of me. We have the rest of our lives for you to tease me—please just take me already. I’m going to tell you right now, I don’t usually beg during sex Im—and don’t expect it to be a reoccurring thing either. This is just built up sexual tension acting for me. So either you hurry up or—FUCK—shit shit—Jae—“

You were so heated in that moment; all you were focusing on was scolding him and trying to coerce him to make a move on your pussy that you failed to notice him making his way down towards your thigh until you felt him lick a long stripe along your core. You didn’t even realize he practically ripped your panty down the middle and as much as you wanted to be mad at him because it was expensive, you just wanted to feel him inside of you.

At this point, you didn’t care whether it was his tongue, his fingers or his cock; you just needed to feel something—anything to help soothe the tingling sensation in between your legs. His tongue was warm against your entrance; he placed a soft kiss and looked up at you with the most devilish grin you’ve ever seen before he began nibbling on your folds. A breathy moan fell from your lips as he continued his movements; getting eaten out was an experience you hardly ever got to indulge in.

Most of the guys expected you to suck them off, but there were only two or three that ever returned the favor. You weren’t going to lie, the few experiences you’ve had with other guys were great—they all seemed to know what they were doing at the time. However, with the way that Jaebeom was nibbling on your clit, flicking and sucking on the nub gently and even inserting two of his fingers deeply inside of your cunt—all of your ex-lovers seemed like beginners. Jaebeom was a professional; he knew exactly where to lick and to suck; his fingers were shoved in and out of you at a rapid pace and it didn’t take long for him to reach your g-spot.

This was the first time anyone ever accomplished finding your g-spot, let alone eating you out so well. If only you saw his ex after actually experiencing receiving head from him—you could have went even further in to detail just how amazing he was. His hums against your entrance made it clear that he was enjoying this just as much as you were.

“You—you have no flaws do you baby? You taste—so sweet—so fucking delicious. I could eat you out for hours—days if I put my heart in to it. Honestly, I think I’m having more fun than you are—I love how soaking you are. Your juices are filling up my mouth deliciously. You’re so fucking tight—I can’t wait to feel you wrap this pretty pussy around my cock. How does it feel? How does my tongue feel? I need words y/n.”

You pulled on his hair as soon as he returned back to his place and reattached his lips to your cunt. He playfully blew his warm breath against your core and with the wait you were clenching your legs around his shoulders, you knew you were so close.

“Feels—so good Jae—I’m so close—please—faster—“ He flicked at your clit with his fingers and licked his way back and forth along your folds. Before you knew it, you let out a whine and soon you were releasing your juices all over his tongue. He lapped up your cum and sucked on both his fingers; releasing them with a loud pop. Once he was done, he made his way up to you and brought his hands up to your mouth.

“Open your mouth and suck—I want you to experience just how amazing you taste. You’re so fucking sexy—I’m not usually a huge fan of hair pulling but shit—you can yank on my hair as much as you want to babe. I’m gonna need to eat this pussy at least five times a day.”

The thought made your eyes roll to the back of your head and honestly—you were all for it. Seeing your essence on his lips made you giggle; how could someone look so cute while doing something so sinful. You stole a kiss from the corner of his mouth before leaning towards him and unbuttoning his dress shirt.

“It’s not fair that I’m naked and you’re fully clothed.” You tried to take it off as fast as you could but it was hard and he wasn’t of any help; he just laughed at your misfortune and watched as you struggled trying to take out the buttons.

“I never would have thought watching someone unbutton my shirt would be this hot to watch, maybe I should wear dress shirts all the time—“

“Or maybe you should fucking help me instead of just ogling Jaebeom. If You don’t dick me down in the next two minutes, I’m gonna leave you hard and alone in this room.”

Normally you weren’t as dominant or confident as you were now; you were always so submissive even outside of sex. Whatever someone would instruct you to do, you did it with no hesitation. But you wanted—needed him to finally give you what you’ve been wanting for so long since the night you lost your virginity.

When you first had sex—it was an okay experience. It was back in your junior year of high school when your boyfriend at the time asked you if you were willing to take that step in your relationship. He was one of the only boyfriends you genuinely had feelings for and he made you feel good—it wasn’t as painful or awkward as most of your friends explained it to be. But if you could go back in the past, you would have waited to give yourself to the beautiful man in front of you. As soon as his shirt came off, he quickly removed his pants and you leaned back in order to get a better look at him. Y

ou knew that Jaebeom was extremely fit; he went to the gym almost every single day and he only ever ate healthy food—telling you that he needed to “maintain his figure”. You’ve seen him shirtless on multiple occasions and there were a few drunken stupors that you’ve seen him practically naked before, but this was the first time you’d actually get to see him bare; on full display in such an intimate setting. He looked at you in confusion; the blank stare on your face didn’t make him feel all that good. Your best friend was always so confident in his looks, his personality and his physique—yet right now, watching you stare at him with an unreadable expression made him feel like he wasn’t attractive enough. Luckily, your next words confirmed that you were gazing at him in awe of his charming good looks and not in disgust.

“You’re so hot Jaebeom—who knew you were hiding a six pack under all of those baggy hoodies?” You returned back to him and ran your index finger along his chiseled muscles. Both your breaths hitched as soon as your hand found his cock; you palmed him through his cotton briefs and hummed at how hard he was.

“May I?”

He gulped before nodding abruptly. Just like he did with your underwear; you forcefully ripped his off but he didn’t seem to care either. No daydream or any dream for that matter could ever had prepare you for this moment. You had a huge feeling Jaebeom was well endowed; you had a chance to see him in his underwear a few times, but seeing his long and thick girth made your mouth water.

“Shit Jaebeom—you’re so big baby. I can’t wait to feel you inside of me. Can I—return the favor first—“ You don’t remember ever drooling over someone’s dick before, but just thinking about how good the stretch was going to feel in just a matter of moments was making you heated again. To your dismay, he shook his head and it discouraged you. Did he not like receiving head? What guy didn’t like being sucked off? Or was it because he didn’t think you could do a good job of pleasing him? He’s been with so many girls—you were afraid that you wouldn’t be able to make him feel the ecstasy he just brought you through. Before you could continue overthinking, he brought his hand up to your chin and lifted it so that you were making direct eye contact with him.

“I want nothing more than to shove my dick down your throat—especially because you were extremely naughty earlier; commanding me and telling me what to do. I should really teach you a lesson and trust me baby, I’ve wanted to see you suck on my cock since July 4th back in junior year and the cafeteria gave us those popsicles and you deepthroated it like it was the easiest thing in the world. Like you said, we have the rest of our lives to experiment—I have so many kinky positions to try and things that I want to do to you. But now—now I need to fuck you.”

He shoved you down on the bed and found his place in between your legs. He lined himself up at your entrance and ran his cock in between your folds; lubricating himself with your left over juices from your previous orgasm. You closed your eyes to prepare yourself for the stretch—as much as you loved being filled to the hilt with a dick, it was extremely uncomfortable. However, whether it was that he sensed your hesitance or something else popped in to his mind; you didn’t feel him just yet and you opened your eyes to see what was wrong.

“Jae—“

“I didn’t plan this well—fuck—damnit—I don’t have a fucking condom—shit—I haven’t had sex in years and I obviously didn’t think my dreams were finally going to come true tonight—fuck, y/n I’m so sorry—“ You playfully pinched his cheek and placed a reassuring kiss on his forehead.

“I’m on the pill if that’s okay with you. I’m a big fan of raw sex—and hey—we plan on spending the rest of our lives together anyway—so even if I were to get pregnant, then that would be pretty fucking awesome if you ask me. I want your babies one day—but if you’re not okay with that, I’m fine with swallowing your kids for the time being—“

“Oh God, please don’t ever say that again. That is not sexy at all. Are you sure about this y/n? I mean, the thought of fucking you without protection is indescribable—but I don’t want you to feel like you have to just because I’m irresponsible—“

“You would think I’d be used to my words going through one ear and out the other—you never listen to me other than when I offer to buy you food. It’s fine Jaebeom, I want this. Now—do us both a favor and blow my back out.” He gave you a hesitant smile and brought some hair off of your face before adoringly cupping your cheek in his palm.

“Tell me if it hurts okay? And please let me know when I can move. I love you y/n—I love you so much.”

He brought his lips to yours for what you assumed was to take your mind off of how uncomfortable the first stretch would feel. It wasn’t painful at all; you’ve had sex enough times to get used to the discomfort. His kisses and the way he was holding your waist protectively was enough to take your mind off of the ache and after a couple of thrusts, you were soon feeling pleasure. You gently gripped at his bicep as a nonverbal way to let him know that he could go faster and thankfully, he understood.

“Fuck—you’re so fucking tight—your walls feel so good wrapped around me—I think I could cum right now and call it a night honestly—“ you rolled your eyes all the while biting your lip in pleasure. His cock felt so good against your clit; his pelvis kissed the tip of your cervix at a pace that you didn’t think was physically possible. The room was filled with skin on skin slapping against each other as his ass collided with yours. He raised your leg up and placed it behind his head so he could hit you deeper and you were sure that just like him, you weren’t all too far away from your second orgasm.

“Mmm—JAEBEOM—FUCK—right there—holy shit—“ He brought his hand up to your neck and wrapped around your pressure point; choking you while forcing himself harder inside of your cunt. It was an indescribable experience; you were quickly growing lightheaded but in such a wonderful way. He continued his thrusts; pounding his cock vehemently in and out of your folds.

“You’re so good to me baby—taking this cock so well—I’m so close y/n—you feel extraordinary—fuck wait—I want to take you from behind, would that be okay? I want to fuck you in to this bed—may I?”

Out of all the positions, doggy style had to be your favorite. Specifically because you were an exhibitionist and a lot of the times you’ve had sex, you made sure it was in an area where you’d be able to see yourself getting fucked. You enjoyed watching your partner take you from behind; it was lewd and animalistic—it made your sex sessions all that more arousing. Even if the mirror wasn’t facing the two of you—you were extremely excited nonetheless. He pulled himself out of you; earning him an erotic whimper but you turned around and placed your face in to the pillows while lifting your ass up in to the air. He slapped both your cheeks before kneading them and playfully pinching them both.

“I’m going to tell you this right now and I don’t care if you slap me—but I’ve stared at this beautiful ass many times and I’m not even sorry. I could write a novel about how much your ass alone drives me fucking insane—your whole body is a wonderland and I’m losing my fucking mind.” Thankfully, as soon as he admitted his obsession with your butt, he realigned himself at your folds and didn’t give you any warning before shoving his cock back inside.

“FUCK—DON’T DO THAT—I’M GONNA COME Y/N STOP—“ His grip on your hips tightened once he felt you clench around him. At first, it was an accident. You were just reacting to how amazing it felt having his hardened length graze along your walls, but now that you knew how much it was affecting him, you wanted to mess around with him.

“I thought you said no teasing tonight. Fine, two can play at that game babe.”

No matter how hard and how fast he was pumping himself inside of you, his pace now was merciless. He began to bite and suck on the back of your neck and grunted each and every time his cock kissed your lips. His movements were harder—faster and you couldn’t even form an actual sentence to describe how euphoric you felt. This went on for ten more minutes and before either of you knew it, you felt his warm, creamy liquid fill you to the brim. Not too long after, he coaxed you in to reaching your release by whispering dirty words and sweet nothings in to your ear.

After coming on his cock, you collapsed on the bed and he plopped his body on top of you. If you weren’t as exhausted as you were at the moment, you would have complained about how heavy his body was lying against yours, but you were so tired and you actually liked the proximity between the two of you. You and Jaebeom laid there for a couple of minutes; trying to catch your breaths and accept reality for what it was. You just made love to the man of your dreams—he was finally yours to love as you were his. Honestly, you didn’t need anything or anyone else.

You didn’t care what job you were to get in the future; what car you’d end up driving one day or the house you’d end up living in—you would be content living a box as long as Jaebeom was there next to you. Once his breathing returned back to normal, he got off of you and took his place right next to you—turning you to face him. His hair was stuck on his forehead and with all the energy you had left—you let out a little chuckle.

“This was the best night of my fucking life I can’t even—that was amazing—you were—wow y/n. I think I’m going to become a nymphomaniac and it is all your fault. Shit you felt so good I’ll never get over it. How was that for you though?” You pecked his lips and dragged your thumb along his bottom one.

“That was wonderful—I’m sure it was ten times more amazing because I’m so in love with you. I’ve never been in love before—so I feel like it just heightens my hormones and made my experience so much more enjoyable. You were remarkable babe. I think I enjoyed that a little too much. I’m so glad we finally put our feelings out there. I don’t think I would have lasted much longer knowing how much I love you and not doing anything about it. I’m sure I would have blurted it out sooner or later. I love you Jaebeom. I’m so happy I can say that now. I love you, I love you, I love you.”

He looked at you with so much love and adoration in his eyes and pulled you closer to his body before stealing a few fleeting kisses from your lips and running his fingers through your hair.

“I love you too y/n and I’m going to spend the rest of my life reminding you both physically and verbally on a daily basis just how much. You’ll never have to question my love for you. Now—should I call the front desk and tell them we plan on staying for the rest of this week? I really want to fuck you in the shower and up against the window.”

The next day—you and Jaebeom relished in your love for a couple of hours before you tapped out. The wedding wasn’t until 6:00 P.M. but you didn’t want to miss out just because you weren’t able to move around. For the rest of the day, the two of you watched a couple of movies and ordered room service. Your cuddling was on a whole other level now, he preferred that you’d sit on his lap rather than just sitting next to him and he always had to have his arms wrapped around you. Once it was time for you both to get ready, he recommended taking a shower together in order to “save time and the environment” but you knew exactly what would happen if you decided to take a shower with him and your mind was set on going to the wedding.

He let out the most adorable whine but allowed you to take a shower first because he knew you would need more time to get ready. While he was in the shower, you slipped on your dress and began to apply a light amount of make up. Your hair didn’t take too long to dry and you actually finished getting ready around the same time he was. Watching his jaw drop as he walked in to the room at looked at you up and down sent chills down your spine.

“Yeah—no, there is no way I am letting you go down looking like that—we’re staying here and that dress is going on the floor—“

“Im Jaebeom, I will go to that wedding with or without you. I did not spend half an hour getting dolled up just so we can stay here and have more sex. I’m still sore—keep it in your pants will you? If you’re a good boy then maybe when we come back—I’ll let you have your way with me again. But until then, promise me you’ll be on your best behavior.” He groaned before making his way towards you—wrapping his arms around your waist and releasing a long sigh in to your neck.

“Fine. Just know I’m rock solid right now and I’ll probably be for the rest of the night until you relieve me. There are a few family restrooms we can make love in—get back here—you can’t attend the wedding without me baby—“

The wedding was extremely beautiful. Although you didn’t know either the bride or the groom personally, you found yourself shedding a couple of tears. You’ve always loved going to weddings; witnessing the love two people had for each other was so beautiful. There were so many times you’ve found yourself planning out your future wedding, but you’ve never been with anyone that you’d see yourself starting a family with. The idea of marrying Jaebeom was always in the back of your mind, but you never thought you’d be here right now with his hand inching closer and closer to your core.

“That’s going to be you and me one day.” You turned around to face him and smiled softly at his sweet words.

“I can’t wait.” Once the bride and groom said their vows and everyone made their way in to the grand ballroom, the rest of the night came and went with a snap of your finger. You were so caught up in staring at your boyfriend and just thinking about what he said earlier that you didn’t even bother to look around for Ella. She didn’t matter anymore. It may have sounded weird, but you were grateful that she made the awful mistake of cheating on Jaebeom. You hated that she hurt him and make him question himself and what he did wrong, but you were content that it brought the two of you together.

Your love for Jaebeom only grew stronger as the days went by. If you thought he was the perfect best friend; he was an even more amazing boyfriend. He was quite the gentleman; always called you up to see how your day was going, bought you things that reminded him of you, wrote poems about your beauty and how lucky he was to have you—he even stayed on the phone with your mom for over an hour once to learn how to make your favorite dish. He also tried his best to head over to your place almost every single day and on the days he was too tired from work, he’d make sure to FaceTime with you just so he could get his fill of seeing you. Life with Jaebeom was perfect—honestly too good to be true. Both work and school was rough for you, but the time you’d get to spend with him made it all worth your while.

Unfortunately, you were putting all your time and energy in to your education, your work and your relationship that you weren’t taking good enough care of yourself. One morning you woke up feeling nauseous and extremely light headed. You just assumed it was because you were either dehydrated or lacking in sleep. Since you didn’t think anything of it, you went about your day like nothing was wrong. You were sitting in class, texting back and forth with your boyfriend when all of a sudden you felt yourself going in and out of your head—you didn’t know how to explain exactly what you were feeling but you knew something wasn’t right.

It wasn’t until your vision went blurry that you felt like you should make your way towards the nurse’s office; but you collapsed right as you made your way towards the door. The last thing you heard were worried voices telling someone to call an ambulance before everything faded to black. Waking up felt weird; you knew by the white walls and the beeping from what you assumed was a heart monitor that you were in the hospital. Your memory was a blur; you remembered everything leading up to that moment, but you don’t remember being put in the back of an ambulance or even making your way to the hospital. How long have you been asleep for? What exactly caused you to pass out?

You had a feeling you’ve been sleeping for at least a couple of hours—but then again, what felt like such a short amount of time to you could have been a week for all you knew. The tight hold on your hand was quick to grab your attention and when you looked down to see who it was—even if you had a feeling it was the same person you were hoping it would be, you gently caressed his hand with your thumb. Jaebeom was leaning on your bed; his face was pressed up against your ankle as his hands were intertwined with yours. You didn’t want to wake him up; but your curiosity was getting the best of you.

“Jaebeom—baby—hey—“

You brought your hand in to his hair and began running your fingers through it in attempts to wake him up without startling him. He took his time to wake up but as soon as he realized that it was you calling his name, he sat up abruptly and blinked a few times; as if he was trying to see whether or not he was still sleeping or if he was awake and you were actually real. As soon as he realized that he wasn’t still dreaming, he threw himself towards you and cupped your face in between his hands.

“Finally, you’re up. How are you feeling baby? God y/n, I was so worried about you. I had a feeling something was wrong when you stopped responding to my text messages and then I got a call from your mom telling me that you fainted and I couldn’t think. I was so scared—do you need me to get you something? Are you hungry? Thirsty? Do you want to use the bathroom? Should I call the doctor—“

In your fifteen years of knowing him, you’ve never seen him so distraught before. There’s never been a situation that he ever had to be this frantic or nervous—but it made your heart flutter both seeing and hearing how affected he was that something happened to you.

“I’m okay babe, I just want you to hold me.” He bit his lip before standing up and placing a chaste kiss on your forehead.

“Let me go call a doctor and let your parents know your awake. Then I’ll join you on the bed and cuddle the shit out of you.” You frowned as you saw him leave the room, but you understood that he wanted to make sure everything was okay with you. When the doctor came in, he was alone and you wondered where Jaebeom could have gone, but the grim look that he was wearing worried you.

“Hi there y/n. It’s nice to see that you’re finally awake.”

“Do you mind me asking, how long have I been asleep for?”

“Three days. I’m actually surprised you’re not still in a coma. From what happened to you—I expected you to still be sleeping for at least one more week. How are you feeling?” You shrugged indifferently before sitting upright.

“Groggy I guess? My body hurts just a little bit, but other than that, I’m fine. Did I pass out because I’m not eating right or getting enough hours of sleep? I’ll admit, I haven’t been taking care of my body as much as I should so is it because of that?” He released a disappointed sigh before shaking his head.

“Y/n—I don’t know how to tell you this but, one of your kidneys are failing. That’s why your body went in to shock and you ended up collapsing.”

You looked at him in shock. To be honest, you weren’t all that familiar with how bodies worked. All you knew was you needed to eat right, drink 8 cups of water a day, get at least seven hours of sleep and exercise three to five times a week. You didn’t know much about kidneys other than the fact that they filter out toxins from your body; you weren’t even aware of where it was located. But to hear that one of your kidneys were failing made you extremely nervous.

“What does that mean exactly?” He walked closer to you and took a seat on the chair Jaebeom was sitting on. It made you grow even more curious as to where he could have been. Did he know? Is that why he seemed so upset? Did the doctor explain to him what happens to people who’s kidneys are failing?

“Your kidney is one of the most important and vital organs in your body—when it fails, so does everything else. I don’t want to worry you—but most people don’t last long even when on dialysis.” The last thing anyone—especially someone who was only twenty-three years old wanted to hear was that you were going to die soon. You were still so young; there was so much going on for you as of right now. There were so many things you had planned for your future—why was your life on the line? It wasn’t fair. A few tears began to build at the brim of your eyelids—but it was only natural.

“Is there anything I can do? A surgery I have to undergo or some medication I can take? I’ll do anything doctor. This can’t be it for me.”

He nodded in understanding; you were sure it was probably hard for him to deliver this kind of news—but it probably wasn’t something he had yet to get used to. As many miracles there were in the hospital, there were just as many tragedies.

“You could get a kidney transplant, but there’s a list. Kidneys are one of those organs that are harder to get next to a heart. I’ll put you on the list right now, but I’m sure there’s at least thirty people waiting for a donor. What we can do is test some of your loved ones to see if they have the same blood type as you and if they’re willing to give you one of their kidneys, then there’s no having to go on the list and your health will be good as new.”

The thought of having to ask someone for their kidney made you want to cry. You knew your parents would offer their kidneys in a heartbreak—but there was no way you could do that to either of them. Even if people could live on just one kidney, what if down the road, that kidney ends up failing itself? As much as you did not want to die, you refused to put someone else’s life at jeopardy just to save yours.

“I see. I’ll talk to my family about it. Thank you so much doctor.”

He gave you a sad smile and told you that he’d get a nurse to bring in some food before leaving you all alone with your thoughts. You didn’t know what to do or what to think. What could you do other than cry, pray and hope for the best? He didn’t have to say it outright, but you knew he was indirectly explaining that your chances of living were very slim.

You allowed yourself to break down; you didn’t want to cry in front of anyone—especially not Jaebeom. He was already worried as it was—you didn’t need to add on to his problems. When you heard footsteps approaching the door just a couple of minutes after the doctor left, you wiped away your tears and put on the fakest smile you could muster.

“My baby! I’m so glad you’re finally up—you poor thing. When the hospital called me, I almost ended up passing out myself. What did the doctor say? I told you—you need to take care of yourself better y/n—“

“I’m dying mom. One of my kidneys are failing. He didn’t say why or how—I’m assuming it might be hereditary but there’s nothing I can do other than get a transplant—but he said the list is backed up. There are at least thirty people ahead of me.”

Right as you finished relaying the news, you could have sworn your heart broke as soon as your mom let out the most gut wrenching sob. Sure, it was already so much for you to take in as the person who was just minutes away from death—but as a mother, hearing that your child is sick must feel like their entire world was falling apart. Besides Jaebeom, your mom was your best friend. She had to be your favorite person in the world; and you were hoping that one day, you’d be even half as an amazing mother to your kids as she is to you.

She joined you on the bed and pulled you in to her embrace. The two of you just sat there crying for quite some time; you failed to notice Jaebeom walk in nor did you see him walk right out in order to give you and your mom some space.

“You’re going to be fine y/n okay? I will make sure of it. I’m going to get tested and I’m sure your father would love to see if he’s a match and Jaebeom—“

“No—please—I can’t ask any of you to do such a thing like that for me.” She looked insulted; as if you said something to hurt her feelings but you knew she was just sad.

“Y/n, I’m your mother—I’ll do anything for you baby girl. I’m not going to lose you—no—not if there’s anything I can do about it. Don’t give up okay? Don’t lose hope. Everything will be okay in the end.” Her fingers felt nice in your hair; her touch was featherlight and she began humming softly while placing a kiss on your cheek.

“Mom. Can you do me a favor?” She nodded without hesitation. “Please don’t tell Jaebeom. The last thing he needs is to worry about me. He already has so much on his plate. His dying girlfriend should be the last of his worries—“

“Y/n, you can’t be serious right now. I wish I could have recorded just how worried he sounded when I told him you were at the hospital. I’ve never seen someone so in love with another person the way Jaebeom is in love with you. You can’t do that to him—it’s not fair to him. You’re his main priority y/n and think about it like this—what if he was the one who was sick and kept something so important like a failing kidney from you? How would you feel? Devastated right? I’m sure he’ll be broken-hearted if he were to find out when it’s too late. He’s been in your life for such a long time y/n—as your boyfriend, and your best friend, he deserves to hear the truth.”

You knew she was right—if Jaebeom kept that a secret from you, you’d be so hurt and betrayed. But you felt like you were protecting him by keeping it a secret.

“Fine I promise I will tell him on my own time. But you need to promise me that you won’t say a thing. Okay?”

She hesitantly nodded; your mom wasn’t stupid. She knew you just as much and if not more than you knew yourself. No matter how much she would tell you what to do, that didn’t mean you would listen. You were stubborn and hardheaded as hell; you were also the type to suffer in silence by yourself. You didn’t like being a burden to people.

When you were discharged from the hospital only two days later, Jaebeom forced you to stay with him at his apartment so that he could take care of you. He was afraid that you could collapse again; so he called you out from both your school and your workplace so you had a good amount of time to relax. He also made it a habit to feed you every three hours in order to make sure you were getting as much nutrients as your body needed to survive on.

A week later, you returned back to your apartment with the excuse that you were feeling better and that you missed the comfort of your own space and hesitantly—he let you. But he got you to promise him that you would text him as much as possible; especially if he wasn’t able to check up on you. It was then that you decided to shut him and anyone out of your life completely. You were stupid to come up with that decision; what good would it do by ignoring everybody in your life.

Especially the person—your person who meant the entire world to you. If you were dying, you didn’t want to make it harder on anyone; specifically Jaebeom and your parents to spend so much time with them only to pass away sooner than you expected. You cried for what felt like hours when you turned off your phone. You knew that wasn’t going to be enough though; Jaebeom was relentless. He arrived at your apartment just a few hours later—pounding on your door repeatedly while screaming for you to open it.

Your heart was begging for you to open the door. How could you do this to him? You claim to be shutting him out in order to protect him, yet it was obvious you were breaking his heart. With each pound at your door, you could feel your heart tearing. Why did you fall in love? Why did you allow yourself to get so attached that now you didn’t want to leave even if you didn’t have the choice? You weren’t afraid of death—no. Everybody dies, it’s apart of life. You were afraid of no longer being with Jaebeom.

No longer getting to see his handsome face or being the reason being his laughter. No longer getting to hold him and be held by him. No longer getting to kiss him and just basking in his existence. Not getting the chance to have a future together—that’s what was hurting you the most. He came by every single day; crying and begging for you to let him in. He told you he had no idea what he did wrong and he thought this was your way of breaking up with him, but he couldn’t understand why.

Everything was going so well between the two of you just hours before you were administered in to the hospital. Did he say something to upset you? Did you just want to be by yourself right now? Why were you pushing him away when it was obvious that this was the time you needed him the most? You wanted him to hold you as you cried and to tell you everything was going to be okay—even if it wasn’t.

All you did for the rest of that week other than crying is eat and sleep. You didn’t have the energy nor the motivation to do anything. A week later, you decided to turn on your phone just to make sure nothing bad happened. Seeing over hundreds of texts, calls and voicemails from your boyfriend made you feel like complete and utter shit. You never believed you deserved Jaebeom; even months in to your relationship, you felt as though he deserved someone so much better than you.

You’ve never hated yourself as much as you did right now. A part of you wanted to read his messages or to listen to one of his voicemails because you missed him like crazy—but you were well aware that it would only make you feel worse. You did notice a number you didn’t recognize call you at least three times and when you listened to the voicemail, you felt as if the entire world stopped.

“Hi, this message is for Y/n Y/l/n. This is Dr.Kim calling from Queen’s Medical Center. I am excited to inform you that we found a donor for you. Please get back to me as soon as possible. Thank you.”

You couldn’t believe it—there had to be a catch. Just days ago, he told you that it wasn’t looking too good in your favor but now he said there was a donor for you? Was there thirty other people willing to give their kidneys to those needing a transplant before you? You didn’t want to get too excited; you couldn’t stop your conscience telling you that there was a chance your mom was a match and she offered her kidney. Your initial instinct was to call her first before calling the doctor back, but it’s already been three days.

If you waited any longer, they could give the kidney to someone else and even if you weren’t too sure if you wanted to accept the transplant, you weren’t going to be rude if someone was already offering it.

“Hi y/n! How are you? I hope you’re doing well! I’m so excited to say that we found someone with the same blood type as you to donate their kidney. Never in my twenty years of being a doctor have I seen such a case like this—I call it a miracle. I’d recommend you come down to the hospital as soon as you can so we can give you the transplant.”

You felt overwhelmed—you were undoubtedly content that you were giving the chance to live but you were still curious as to how there was a donor in just a span of a week when some people have been on that list for years.

“Would you happen to know who the person is whose kidney I’m being given?”

“I have no idea. Sorry. I look forward to seeing you soon y/n. Drive safely.”

You drank a few cups of water and took a bite out of a sandwich that’s been in your fridge for almost a month now, but you had no appetite at all. As you made your way to the hospital, you found yourself hovering your finger over Jaebeom’s contact. You were given another chance at being able to spend the rest of your life with him—but you fucked it all up. He had to hate your guts for all that you made him suffer through and you couldn’t blame him.

After you pulled up to the hospital and looked around for doctor Kim, the nurses had you wait in the lobby so they could prepare the surgery table for you. The process didn’t take too long and when doctor Kim came out to explain just how lucky you were to be the recipient of a kidney in such a short amount of time and had the nurses prep you for surgery, you just wanted to get it all over with. The surgery room was extremely bright and you were wearing nothing but a hospital gown. You were told that kidney transplant surgeries took about five to seven hours but because they were putting you on anesthesia, it would feel like five minutes.

One of the nurses placed the mask on top of your mouth and had you count to ten—but you didn’t even make it to six before passing out completely. Just like the day you collapsed in your lecture hall, you don’t remember falling asleep. It felt good being awake again; but this time was worse than the last. Everything hurt and your mouth felt so dry. Nothing came out of your mouth as you tried to speak up and call for a doctor.

However, you did feel a pair of hands gripping at your arm and this all felt like deja vu. You were afraid of it being Jaebeom—you didn’t think you deserved for him to come see you and you didn’t think you’d be able to look at him without crying at the thought of how much you’ve broken him. Once you realized it was your mom, you let out a sigh of relief yet you were disappointed it wasn’t your boyfriend. As soon as your mom felt you stirring, she looked up at you and you could’ve sworn her pained expression would be forever imprinted on the back of your mind.

“Hi mom.” She furrowed her brows before bringing your hand up to her lips and placing a kiss on the back of it. Her expression was quick to change though and before you knew it, she smacked your arm all but gently.

“You stubborn girl. What is wrong with you? How could you do that to us. You know how worried I was—we all were? What if you were to die huh? There wouldn’t be any way for us to come and get you. You’ve made some pretty stupid choices in your life y/n but this had to be the stupidest thing you could have ever done. And don’t even get me started with the hell you put Jaebeom through. As your mother, I was so mad at you but the poor boy—he thought he did something wrong. He wouldn’t stop blaming himself for something he had no control over—“ You didn’t want to interrupt your mom; especially because she was furious but you needed to know.

“Where is he?” She stopped her scolding completely as she directed her attention towards anything other than you.

Oh no. It couldn’t be.

“Mom. I asked you a question—“

“I think I should go get the doctor and tell him you’re awake—“

“Mom! Answer me! Where is Jaebeom?”

The look of guilt on her face made it all the more adamant that she knew exactly where he was but she didn’t want you to know. She was silent for five minutes; contemplating on how she should go about telling you just how they were able to find you a donor in just a matter of days.

“I told him.” You looked at her in shock; that was the one thing you did not want her to do. If Jaebeom were to find out about your situation, he wouldn’t hesitate to go and get tested to see if he was a match.

“I kept it a secret for as long as I could. But when he came over to our house, asking me if I’ve heard from you and if something was wrong—I couldn’t keep lying to him y/n. It was hard for me to look at him, watch him cry and plead to even hear that you were okay; you’re so selfish. I know it was a lot to take in, but I told you we would handle it didn’t I? We’re in this together y/n. Right after I told him, he came here and took the test to see if his kidneys were healthy enough for him to live on just one. You’re both O positive and he didn’t even hesitate to give it to you. He’s still healing but the doctor said he can be discharged tomorrow.”

All the color drained from your face and you felt like you were going to throw up. Why would he do something so stupid—so foolish; giving away a kidney isn’t something simple like buying someone a gift; or doing their homework for them. This was something he wasn’t able to take back. He was now putting his own health at risk and at what cost? Just so you could live longer? What if this only shortened his life? The doctor said people could survive with only one kidney, but what if his other one failed later on in life? What happens then?

You wanted to be grateful that he would do such a thing; you obviously meant so much to him that he was willing to give you a part of himself in order to keep you alive. However, you were angry—not so much with him, but this entire situation.

“I can tell you’re overthinking things right now and I just want you to stop. I know that if he was the one dying, you would have done the same thing—so stop. Just be thankful that he did this. Don’t get mad at him; this was already such a big decision for him to make and he made it in a heartbeat. He did this because he loves you y/n. How do you think he would feel seeing you so upset over this as the person who gave you his kidney? Sometimes we do things for the people we love without even a second thought. All we care about is making them happy and keeping them safe. Exactly what Jaebeom did for you. Now, I’m going to go get a doctor, don’t do anything reckless while I’m gone.”

As soon as she left you all alone, you completely fell apart. You ignored him. You lied to him. You tried to leave him and keep him out of your life to protect him from your unfortunate fate yet he gave himself for you. He put his life on the line in order to save yours. Your mom had a point, if it was Jaebeom who needed a kidney, you wouldn’t hesitate to give him yours. With the entire Ella circumstance, although you were hesitant on helping him out for obvious reasons, you gave in because you wanted to help him in any way you possibly could—much like he just did now.

No matter how many times Jaebeom told you and even showed you how much he loved you, this just set it all in stone. When your mom returned with the doctor and he explained how the healing process worked and what was going to happen now that you had a new kidney, all you wanted to do was find Jaebeom. You wanted to see him yourself and personally thank him for his sacrifice. Your mom told you to get some rest and that she would let you see Jaebeom later, but she knew she wasn’t going to win any argument with you—and you had every right to go and see him. It’s only been a week since you last saw the older boy but it felt like a year—a long, grueling, heartbreaking year.

As the nurse pushed you in a wheelchair towards his room, there were negative thoughts that began to fill up your mind. Does he regret doing this? What if for some reason one day, we call it quits, is he going to regret it then? What if he wanted nothing to do with you? What if giving you his kidney was his goodbye gift to you?

Your heart rate only increased as she brought you right outside the door and told you that she wanted to see if he was awake before letting you inside. You weren’t the biggest fan of hospitals; there was one time you tripped and fell in your freshman year and sprained your ankle and you had to stay over two weeks in order to get the surgery and the rest you needed to completely heal.

The man you were only seconds away from seeing again stayed with you throughout your entire stay. He went to school every morning even if he didn’t want to; but came to be with you as soon as the last bell rang. Even at the prime age of fifteen, Jaebeom always put you first. What did you do to deserve someone who loves you as much as he does?

“He’s awake now—I didn’t tell him you’re here to see him because I’m sure you want to surprise him. Are you ready?”

You nodded slowly and took in a deep breath as she wheeled you in to his room. There were countless “get well” balloons and many beautiful bouquets of flowers spread throughout the small space. Jaebeom was a very popular person his entire life—you weren’t surprised to see just how many people were wishing him a speedy recovery. You wondered if anyone knew why he was currently in the hospital.

As soon as your eyes landed on him, your breath hitched and you wanted to cry again. He currently had so many wires attached to him and there was a couple of bruises on his body; your doctor explained that it was natural for both your bodies to change—especially his since he no longer had both of his kidneys. You wanted nothing more that to hold him and to tell him just how grateful you were for everything; not just for his generosity—although there was no way you’d be able to top this at all, but just for everything he’s done for you since you first became friends.

“Jaebeom sweetheart, look who came to see you. I’ll give the two of you some space while I go get something for you both to snack on. Just press the help button if you need assistance before I get back.” You kept your eyes on his bed; not wanting to see the way he was looking at you or you would surely break out in tears.

“Hi.” You began to pick at your fingers out of nervousness. If only you could read minds; you wanted so badly to know what he was thinking. Jaebeom was never a man of words—he preferred actions. You had a feeling he wouldn’t confess even one thought that was going through his mind right now nor did you want to force anything out of him.

“Hey.” Silence filled the room once you both acknowledged the other’s presence; you didn’t know what to say and with the way he didn’t speak up either—neither did he.

“How are you feeling?” His question is what got you to finally look at him. He looked exhausted beyond belief and his face was exceedingly smaller and more pale. His eyes were puffy and both his hair and facial hair were growing faster than normal.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” He shrugged and you felt terrible. The two of you were acting as if you were strangers. This was your best friend—the love of your life; your soulmate. Why were you treating him like you had no idea who he was.

“Jaebeom I don’t know where to start. Well I do—thank you. Thank you so much. I don’t think I will ever be able to repay you. You saved my life—I’m forever indebted to you Im Jaebeom. I hope you know I would have done the same exact thing for you. I know this is a stupid question to ask, especially because I am well aware of what the answer is, I just want to hear you say it—how—why would you do this? Do you understand how big of a sacrifice you made? A kidney isn’t a small thing Jaebeom; people wait years for one—“

“You just answered your own question y/n. How many times do I have to tell you this for you to get it through that pretty yet extremely stubborn head of yours? I would do anything for you. Anything. I’d give my life up for you—you should know that by now. Fuck—I hated being away from you and I hated that you were trying to push me away. I of all people should have been the first person you ran through. I’m your boyfriend and your best friend y/n. You should feel like you’re able to come and tell me things like this. Especially a life or death situation. What did you think was going to happen if you stayed away huh? What good was that going to do? I honestly don’t know what I would do if I were to lose you. I know—giving away a kidney is a big deal but I didn’t care about anything in that moment. Your mom told me you didn’t want me worrying about you and that’s why you kept it between yourselves—but how could I not worry? It’s not just your future we’re talking about it’s mine too. What, did you think everything would be fine and dandy if you were to die? You’re crazy for even thinking that I wouldn’t want to do this for you. I did it for you and for us—so I can have you for so many more years to come. I love you y/n—so much that it actually scares me but not in a bad way if that makes sense.”

You moved closer to him and tried your best to get up from your wheelchair in order to join him on the bed. You were sure that if you were to look in the mirror right now—you’d see just how his words practically wrecked you. He laughed softly to himself when he saw you struggle and took matters in to his own hands; he slowly got up and reached for your hand, pulling you towards him and you didn’t even give him a second to make himself comfortable before connecting your lips with his in a passionate kiss. He smiled widely against your mouth. Since he was still pretty lethargic and not quite himself just yet, he had to stop the kiss from escalating any further, no matter how badly he wanted to continue feeling your lips on his.

“I’ve missed you. Don’t ever do that to me again. Just for that, I hope you know I’m forcing you to move in with me so that I can keep my eye on you. I don’t know why we didn’t move in together sooner, there’s nothing I want more than to go to sleep with you wrapped in my arms and to wake up to your beautiful face and stinky morning breath.”

You gave him a small pout at his words before nodding in agreement. The idea of moving in with Jaebeom sent fire to your bones. You were more than happy to be able to share a space with him—you always wanted to be around him. The two of you only spent most of your time together at each other’s places, so it only made sense that you both moved in together. You placed a soft kiss on his bottom lip before bringing your hand up just above his eyebrow; tracing his two moles that you adored so much ever so gently.

“I just didn’t want to end up hurting you if something were to happen to me. As soon as the doctor told me the news, my mind went blank and you were the first person I thought of. I cried at the thought of having to leave you and I thought it would be easier for you to get used to living without me—“

“Well you thought wrong—“ You gently slapped his shoulder before placing a few pecks on his lips.

“Hey, I let you talk without interrupting you. Now let me speak. I was devastated when I heard that my chances of living were slim. It was like there was no hope for me and I didn’t want to get your hopes up either. I’m sure nobody wants to die, especially at such a young age but I was more afraid of no longer having you around and what would happen to you if something did happen to me to even care about what goes on after we die. I can’t even form a plausible sentence to describe how thankful I am that you did this. Thank you for loving me Jaebeom. Thank you for just being you. I can’t even tell you how much your sacrifice means to me. I never once questioned your love for me; you never fail to remind me that you’re so madly in love with me and trust me when I say this, I love you with every fiber of my being—with every single breath that I take. You’re the reason for my existence Jae. To be able to love you and be the extremely lucky person who gets to be loved by you is something I will always be grateful for. You are an extraordinary human being. People like you only come one in a lifetime. I love being able to wake up every morning knowing that you are my person. I don’t say it as much as I should and I’m going to work on that. I want to be a better girlfriend because it’s what you deserve. But I will do anything in my power to show you that my heart is yours. That I am wholeheartedly and irrevocably in love with you.”

When you saw tears building up at the corner of his eyelids, you had to stifle back a laugh. It took a lot for Jaebeom to cry; he wasn’t a sensitive guy so it did melt your heart seeing him so worked up over the thought of no longer having you in his life. God, you were so in love with him. How did you stay away from him for even just a week? You had to be insane. This entire situation made it crystal clear for you—no matter what happened in your life, there was no way you could ever be without Im Jaebeom.

“A life without you is a life I never want to live. If my kidney ends up failing later down the road—then I’ll dying knowing I gave my life to save yours. To keep you around. I’d give you my heart if you needed it—you’re the owner of it anyway. I wanted to do this for so many reasons baby and I would do it again and again if I had to. It’s you and me for life y/n—I’m yours forever. Oh, and I just want to let you know that I plan on using the fact that you now have one of my kidneys to my advantage just to get on your nerves. If I’m hungry and I want you to make me something—just remember, I gave you my kidney. And this goes for anything else. If there’s only one cookie left or I want to choose a movie for us to watch—my organ is what’s keeping you alive. Think of it this way, you’ll always have a part of me inside of you even if I’m not physically inside of you. I hope you know once we’re both released and completely healed that I expect you to show me just how grateful you are while on your knees—okay I obviously made the wrong decision, give me back my kidney.”

You gave him the most adorable scowl to which he placed a long, sloppy kiss on your lips and pulled you closer to his body as humanly possible. You’ve missed being in his arms, it’s when you felt the safest and the most at ease. Im Jaebeom in more or less words was an actual angel sent to you to take care of you and you were going to spend the rest of your life showing him just how over the moon you were to call him yours.

“All jokes aside baby, you mean everything to me y/n and I can’t wait to see what life has in store for us.”

#got7 imagines #got7 #Jaebeom #Im Jaebeom #got7 jb

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tillthelandslide · 4 years

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Broken

Anon request: “hi love, hope you are doing well.. I want to request you something.. Can you please write a fic/series where Henry's Gf dies.. and he is absolutely devastated and a mess since then ..He remembers their fond memories, her immense love for him.. He is left to live the aftermath and misses her..(intense angst) I think with your writing this will be loved by all.. Please consider this request.. Love you <3″

A/N: This was honestly such a hard one to write, imagining Henry to be like this honestly broke my heart, I was literally a sobbing mess the whole way through. This was very different for me but I’m glad I expanded my horizons and wrote this. I would say I hope you enjoy it but I don’t think it's appropriate.

Also I know you asked for it to be Henry’s gf but I started writing it and it became wife so sorry. Also I usually write my stories as “you” but I’ve been wanting to switch it up a little so my stories don’t seem too repetitive.

Also I listened to Goner by Twenty One Pilots (one of my favourite bands) whilst writing this so if you wish to listen to that, to add to the mood, ’ve added it.

I love you all so much - L

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(if you would like to be added to my tag list, feel free to message me, if you are new to my blog then I post Henry Cavill fanfics and make Henry Cavill fake Instagram posts, my requests are open so feel free to request anything and I will try my best to make your vision come to life. Edit: requests are still open but there might be a delay as I am working my way through the current ones and all other stories I am writing)

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Broken : Henry Cavill Fan Fiction

Warnings: mentions of death, severe angst, crying and sobbing Henry. Please do not read this if you think it will impact your mental health. Mental health matters and always comes first. Here for anyone who needs to talk

He had never believed in the idea of the human heart shattering into a million pieces... until he lost her. This dreadful event had been the downfall of his once perfect life.

Darkness. That’s all his life was now, the existence of her had changed his life, she was his saviour, his salvation, but the loss of his one true love, that destroyed his life. She was the brightness even in the darkest of times and places. Everything he had loved before, he despised now, everything reminded him of the woman he once held in his arms, the one he was lucky enough to call his wife. He was convinced he would never be the same again, he felt like his heart had been combined with hers and when she left him, his heart left him too. He hadn’t expected this, he had expected to grow old with her, have 4 or 5 children and several grandchildren to carry on the couples legacy. She had promised him that’s what would happen. She vowed to love him until their final days, and he had underestimated when that day would be.

Here he sat, in their garden, a cigarette between his fingers, bringing it up to his lips and taking a deep puff, the tar slipping down his throat and coating his lungs with filth, she’d scold him if she were here... but she wasn't. He knew it was bad for him, but he didn’t care anymore. He needed an escape, he didn’t want to feel anymore, he wanted all the agony and anguish to disappear, leave him like she had.

God knows why he blames himself but he does. She had her whole life left ahead of her and this cruel world stripped that from her, removed all opportunities for the both of them to live a full and happy life together.

“I miss you my love” he says, to the sky, the darkness perfectly resembling himself, the stars in the sky seemed to be dimmed, apart from one, which was glistening brightly. He had decided that was her, watching down from heaven. Heaven was another thing he hadn’t believed in until his world collided with hers. She was this angelic being and had to have fallen from heaven, there was no other explanation to her beauty, her perfect personality, one in which complimented that of his wonderfully. She was the kind of person that bettered those around her, made them whole, made them purer.

Tears emptied from his eyes and he sighed, his hand which was holding his cigarette thrusting into his deep curls, curls he hadn’t washed or brushed in weeks. He didn’t think he could cry anymore, but here he was, water running down his face like a flood, amplifying his red and bloodshot eyes, the deep and bruising bags underneath his eyes a reminder of his soul crushing pain. His hand moved back down, slipping the tip of the cigarette back in between his lips, sucking it.

“God I fucking miss you baby” he says, his voice completly broken, he sounded like a character in a show or film, a different person alltogether and he supposes he is now he’s without his wife. He hears a knock on the door and swears, picking up the ash tray and walking with it, inside his house, where he plods to the door, swinging it open and seeing her best friend.

“Fucking hell Henry” she says as she sees him, the lead in her hands attahced to the collar around his dogs neck, Kal looks up at him making him turn away, even Kal reminds him of her and he can’t deal with him at the moment, hence why her best friend was looking after him. She closes the door behind her, following his trail back outside, releasing Kal from his collar, letting him roam the house.

“Thought you’d want to see Kal” she says, sitting outside with him, it was freezing and dark but she bared it, picking up his pack of cigarettes and taking one for herself.

“You don't smoke” he grunts, flicking the ash at the end of the cigarette into the ashtray.

“Neither do you” she quips back, making him raise his eyebrows, putting out the cigarette as it reaches its end, pulling one from his packet and lighting it instantly, needing his lungs to be filled with the poison.

“If she saw us now” her friend says, making him sigh, more tears falling down his face.

“Fuck” he says, wiping them away, the last thing he needed was her friend seeing him completly destoryed, she would for sure tell his family and hers and that would damage him even more.

“Henry” she says, sympathy laced in her voice.

“I miss her so fucking much” he says, making her reach forward and take his hand.

“Me too” she says, not knowing what to say, but she squeezes his hand, making him tear it back not wanting the attention.

“You don't understand,” he says, making her scorn him.

“Of course I don’t. It’s not as if she was my best friend. For fuck sake Henry, I’m trying to be here for you, its what she wanted” she said, looking away, her eyes landing on that same twinkling star, taking a puff from the cigarette.

“Well she’s not fucking here so who the fuck cares” he spits.

“Amazing. She wouldn’t have wanted this” she says, standing up, taking one last puff of her half used cigarettes, stubbing it out before leaving him.

“Wait” he says, stopping her in her tracks, she looks back, her eyes falling over his face, tears now streaming down his face, she walks over to him and his hands reach out to her, they’ve never done this but she knows he needs it, so she wraps his arm around him, his tears sinking into her shirt as his head rests against her.

“I’m so sorry” she says, tears springing in her eyes too.

“I can’t live without her” he sobs, his voice cracking making her heart ache for him.

“Henry” she says as she hears Kal crying behind her. Henry pulls away and looks at the dog, his face falling, the dog's large eyes looking into his.

“Hey buddy” he utters half heartedly and the dog walks up to where he’s sat outside, Henry puts out his cigarette and his hands begin to pet the dog's head.

“He’s had his hair cut” he says, making the friend nod.

“Yeah, he needed it, I know she usually takes him on Monday’s so I thought I’d take him” she says making Henry frown.

“Shit, did you tell Caroline?” he says, talking about the groomer she usually takes Kal to.

“Yeah” her friend says, a frown on her face too.

“I forgot to tell her.” he says.

“It’s okay, it’s the last thing you needed to remember” she says, referring to the long list of people Henry had to notify.

“We need to sort out the funeral, I can plan it if you’d like?” she says, making Henry shake his head, still petting his dog.

“No that’s okay, I should do it” he says, his voice breaking as he sobs loudly again.

“Henry, she'd hate to see you like this” she says, her hand gesturing to the man whose features looked uncanningly like another person.

“Well she’s not fucking here is she?!!” he shouts making her friend flinch.

“Sorry” he utters, dropping his head into his hands.

“I just wanna be alone” he says.

“No you don’t” she says, dropping down to her knees, placing her hands on his knees so she’s level with his face.

“Talk to me, she asked me to be here for you and that’s what I tend to do” she says caringly.

“Well I don’t fucking want you here, I want her and she’s fucking dead” he shouts, knocking her back, her hands landing on one of Kal’s paws making him yelp.

“Shit, I’m sorry” he says, to her best friend and to Kal.

“I’ll just fuck off then” she says, giving up. The dog looks longingly at his dad as she storms inside, before she comes back with the lead clipping it onto the dogs collar, slamming the door as she leaves the house.

“Fuck” he shouts, standing up from his chair. He walks back inside, looking around his house. His hands land on a vase containing flowers from his mother and he throws it aggressively against the wall, the noise ringing out dramatically in the empty house. It smashes against a picture on the floor, the picture falling loudly to the floor, the glass from the vase and the frame smashingly loudly making him swear.

“Shit” he says, walking over the picture frame, picking it up, the shards cutting his hand, but he doesn’t flinch at the pain, no amount of pain could hurt more than that in his heart. His fingers push the remaining shards of glass off the picture, revealing a picture of him and his wife on their wedding day. A small smile appears on his face as he scans her face, she looks genuinely ecstatic, that's how he will always remember her. His lips are pressed against hers and he carries her down the aisle, a smile against her lips and he remembers the moment like it was yesterday. It was the best day of his life, their friends and family were there to celebrate the union of the couple, it was the day she promised to love him forever, promised to be his faithful and loving companion until death does she part.

“We didn’t know it would be so soon huh love?” he says, chuckling despite it being far from funny. He places the frame down, deciding to clean the glass up later, he no longer had the dog to worry about and he didn’t care if he got hurt by the sharp shards.

His eyes drift to the other pictures that frame the walls, the one he had taken of her at their honeymoon, her naked body completely covered by the beach water, the waves crashing against the shore perfectly, making for the perfect picture, she had that same smile on her face and Henry’s lips lift up momentarily at the sigh.

“So beautiful” he says, looking at the picture.

The next is a picture he had taken of Kal attacking the beauty with kisses.

“That was taken after the first time we shagged '' he says to himself, chuckling at the memory. Laughing loudly when he remembers all the times she cringed when he used the word shag. They had shut the dog out wanting to save him from the sight of the two of them making love. Henry had gotten up moments after the wonderful moment when he heard his dog crying at the door, he had opened the door and Kal had jumped up on the bed, kissing her face as soon as he saw her, Henry had picked up his phone almost immediately, he remembers framing the picture on the wall but she had taken it down to cut part out (because her breasts were in the picture).

He looks at the next picture and he thinks this might just be his favourite, it was a picture of her being carried by his brothers, they had played a game of rugby and Henry was worried she would get hurt but she beat his team and his brothers picked her up to celebrate her winning the final shot. They were all laughing and so was she.

“Oh how I loved your laugh baby” he says. He walks to the kitchen, grabbing the first aid kit from the cupboard and quickly cleaning and wrapping the wound, before picking up a notepad she kept there, finding a fluffy pen she used and he began writing.

“My love,

No words can truly express how much I miss you, no words can describe my pain. So I’m not going to speak about that. I’m going to talk about how amazing you were, how amazing you will always be. The moment you walked into my life, I knew I was done for. You turned my word upside down baby. I know you were the one the moment I met you, I knew when you said my name for the first time, I knew when we kissed for the first time and every time since, when it felt like fireworks. In films we constantly see these epic ideas of love and me being the pessimist that I am never believed in them. But then I met you. And oh baby did that change. Our love was epic, and it always will be. I remember the first time you met my family, you were so nervous, you bit your lip so much that it bled. But the moment they met you, they loved you, you became one of us, that was the moment I knew I wanted to be your husband. I remember being so excited to meet your parents, because I was so curious to meet the people who shaped you into the wonderful person you are… were. I remember asking you to marry me and I was so fucking happy when you said yes, the moment you became my life will always be the best thing that has ever happened to me. And part of me is convinced that it’s the best thing to happen to anyone, anywhere. I will forever be grateful for the time I had with you but boy do I wish we had more time. I will love you forever and a piece of me will always be absent. I ask you to look over me. Heaven is one lucky place because now they have you. I was and always be your husband, your Henry. This world has no idea how lucky it was to have you, you will forever be the love of my life and I will continue to count my lucky stars, everyday baby.

Forever yours,

Henry

#henry #henry cavill #henry cavil x reader #henry cavill au meme #henry cavill angst #henry cavill blurb #henry cavill drabble #henry cavill imagines #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fics #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill headcanon #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill masterlist #henry cavill one shot #Henry cavill requests #henry cavill reader #henry cavill writing #henry cavill story

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yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy · 3 years

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Magic and Miracles and BEYOND Chapter 14

Ya'll, when I say, that the writer's block for this story practically parked it's 18 wheeler sized ass in front of me, like a boulder on a mountain road AND THERE WAS NO WAY AROUND IT, to the point that I didn't know if I ever would get to write it again and I had to take a break for...way too fucking long. Also- for the record, all of this still happens in my head in 2018, you know, when I started writing this story, because BY GOD, all these characters should have had their weddings and a small piece of happily ever after BEFORE COVID comes to fuck everyone over. But Hazel's dress, that's still 2022 Pnina Tornay, it's a fantasy story, I'm fudging the timeline, a little. Also Hazel's engagement ring? Chocolate diamond. She's a foodie. It made sense.

Also, Yes, I do realize that I am face casting Alex Pettyfer twice. The first was as modern Ravus Nox Flueret, and then...as Dash Parr in my modern Incredibles AU Why So Jaded. Look, I just adore the guy ok? He's...incredibly good looking and talented, and HOT. They don't happen in the same alternate universe, it's fine, it's fine.

Anyway, so back to the road block, sorry, detour, anyway, so then, tragedy struck in my personal life, ok several tragedies kind of piled up all at once it felt like and shook me to my core, and suddenly those earthquakes, knocked that boulder off the road and opened up the creative roadway to this story again, then I wrote something truly horrific for this particular story. AND IT'S AWESOME, like it's brutal, will reach inside and grab your heart, put it into a blender before handing it back to you as you cry and say thank you, kind of awesome, so angsty.

But, I couldn't just...post it and not keep wrapping up other character's story lines because this was still "everyone needs to find their happily ever after" foundations laid. So. What that did, was give me a "if you want this- angsty thing to happen, how do you get the story from here to there, now that you don't have this fucking boulder in the way." and my brain finally went "I got it! TREDD IS AN ASSHOLE" and boom, problem solved. See I had- most of the components to this particular chapter, already written and mentally mapped out and planned out but the "go juice" to write it was empty.

But Tredd, lovable, asshole Tredd, gave me what I needed. I don't even know if I should tag who I used to tag...however long ago I used to post chapters to this story or if they have all changed their usernames and stuff or if any of them are still interested. But you know what? I'm gonna post it anyway. So enjoy.

Also, @the-immortal-marshal, thanks for sticking with me and hanging in there, THE PAIN IS COMMING NEXT CHAP. ENJOY the last moment of "peace and happiness where everything is perfect and nothing hurts" while it lasts.

Magic and Miracles and BEYOND

Chapter 14

“Hello Behbehs!” Selena cooed when she came home from school to her dogs and Duchess who eagerly greeted her before she got all the packages from the little stylish boxes she built out of pallets to create a little place for packages to be stored on her front porch before she and Ravus could get home and get them in their apartment.

“Ah thank goodness.” Selena breathed in relief when a couple of them were those pre prepared meal kits. Because with both her and Ravus being in school and both of them working too, they rarely had a chance to go grocery shopping anymore and the meal kits were a healthy alternative to fast food and surprisingly less expensive than take out and right now they were still in their “try everything once to find our favorites” stage. But Selena barely had them all unpacked and put away by the time her phone chimed.

‘Hope you had a good day today Darling’ Ravus texted when his phone chimed that she had made it home.

‘It’s been fine, busy, how about yours?’ Selena texted back.

‘Not great, I’ll be happy to call it a day soon.’ Ravus texted back as Selena frowned at her phone before she got an idea and raced up the stairs to get dressed in more business formal attire that was clearly flirtatious that covered up some ridiculously sexy lingerie and some really good ‘fuck me’ heels and put on some makeup and put her hair up in a quick bun then quickly left their apartment to go to Miracles Hospital where she parked next to Ravus’ car and purposefully strutted into the offices, using the badge keycard Sylva had made for her to get in before she made a B-Line for Ravus’ temperoary office while his was under construction before she checked in with Kathryn to make sure he was alone in his office before she opened his office door and struck a pose in his door frame with a smoldering look and a mischevious smirk on her lips that had Ravus’ jaw dropping to the floor at the vision she was.

“Hey. What are you doing here? Is there a problem with…?” Ravus began to ask as she closed the door, locked it then sauntered up to him and straddled his lap before she kissed him passionately as he eagerly held her and pulled her to himself as he kissed her back with equal passion that had Ravus thanking God that he put such an amazing, wonderful and sexy as hell woman in his life that could give him the one thing he wanted that he knew money could never buy- her love, priceless and perfect as it was. And with her love came devotion, loyalty, honesty, faithfulness and right now- desire and it was his life’s goal to make himself as desirable to her as he could possibly be because being the object of her affection was all he could ever want and he wanted her to feel as lucky that she had him for a partner- that he felt about her.

“How’s your day now?” Selena purred when they broke for air.

“Ah-amazing, I can’t, can’t complain.” Ravus answered truthfully, his mind desperate in it’s grasping for coherent thought as he was completely blown away and delighted by her little surprise visit as his hands traveled down her body, appreciating every nuance and curve she had.

“Good, now do you want to fuck me here or in the sleep studies wing, in the car or at home?” Selena asked and watched as he swallowed thickly as his own eyes grew a dark stormy gray with lust.

“Is there an ‘all of them’ option?” Ravus returned which made Selena smile brighter as he quickly hiked up her skirt the rest of the way to reveal that she had not been wearing underwear but was wearing thigh highs attached to a matching green silk garter belt ,which were his favorite kind of stockings as his cock tried to break through his pants trying to get into her as he gasped and ‘oohed’ in surprise and delight as she made quick work of his pants and underwear before she managed to seat herself onto him as he let his chair lean back and rest on a filing cabinet so they wouldn’t crash backwards and also so that Selena could ride him as hard as she wanted to without hurting anything as she opened up his silk dress shirt so that his chest and neck were bared to her before he yanked down her shirt and undid her bra so that her breasts, which had been pushed up to show her amazing cleavage before- were now bared to him in turn as he suckled as his hands went to her hips to guide her over him and when his other hand reached down to stroke her clit with practiced ease as he whispered some absolutely filthy things to her in French which he had discovered could get Selena all riled up and to hear and see and feel that was like a drug to him.

Selena could feel her orgasm approaching as her body and mind were in absolute bliss and to hear Ravus whisper, moan and growl in her ear in between kissing and licking and playfully biting every inch of skin he could reach as he drove up into her as hard as he could and rub her clit just right. Not too hard, not too fast, but as if he was delicately conjuring her soul through her pussy was the greatest pleasure she had ever known and she didn’t care what he was saying to her in French, but the way he said it, the way it rolled off of his very gifted tongue and the way he could enrapture her mind, body and soul so easily, as easy as he breathed and leave her so desperate for him, desperate for more. Just one more touch, one more kiss, one more thrust, one more profession of love, of promise, of adoration, everything. How she was his everything and how he was going to love her and cherish her for as long as he lived and she had the utmost faith in every word. And she knew that she was going to love him for the rest of hers. She didn’t care if he lost his fortune or the hospital or anything. She would keep him and he would keep her. And that would be all that mattered.

In rapid succession Selena came, her shuddering cry of bliss was the most perfect sound in Ravus’ ears as he smiled victoriously that he was able to give her the greatest pleasure possible before Ravus’ own face scrunched up as he came himself, a grunting, hissing moan. His cock throbbing but since his injections, there were no loads, other than an extra load of precum before they both collapsed in the chair as they held each other as Selena let her head rest on his shoulder as they recovered.

Selena traced random designs on his skin around his chest hair that was starting to fill in nicely along with more muscle mass that had started to build just in the last few months since he graduated highschool and gotten back from the most epic summer vacation. It was as if he was a late bloomer. All the bulky muscle he had always wanted was finally filling in the way he wanted it to and he was having to buy new suits and shirts because his old ones no longer fit him the way he wanted them to, but thankfully that glorious cock of his stayed the same, much to Selena’s utter and complete delight.

The only thing that hadn’t grown was thankfully his feet so that meant the man didn’t need to buy new shoes. Which was his own guilty pleasure and obsession, especially dress shoes. While they had gone cross country all summer, he and Luche would hit up all the thrift stores and speciality shops looking for old shoes to restore and when they had been in L.A. They had hit the mother load. All these places that had all the shoes from the old stars of hollywood, whether they became famous or infamous or never even made it on the map. But their very expensive and very good quality shoes were left behind. One shop in particular was run by a couple of older gentlemen that were so happy to see some younger guys were into this kind of thing that they gave them the deals of a lifetime and even Tredd and of course Ignis came along and between Ravus and Ignis, Luche and Tredd got quite the crash course education on shoes, in particular old dress shoes as the four of them practically bought the store out and had to ship out most of them back home because they wouldn't fit with their former travel plans. Ravus and Ignis were the way about shoes the same way some women were about fashion and purses.

Of course that wasn't the only "obsession" Ravus and Ignis had shared with Luche and Tredd, Ravus' mother and of course his grandparents were avid fountain pen collectors and when Sylva's parents had passed, they went over her parent's very, very extensive fountain pen collection that was in the thousands of pens large, Ravus insisted that about two dozen of them go directly to Selena so she could "impress" her more "financially affluent" clients she was starting to get as Sylva happily let those precious few go to Selena, then the rest were picked through by Sylva, Lunafreya who was also an avid fountain pen enthusiast as well as Ravus and Ignis who then coached Luche and Tredd of all people who showed an interest in what he called "rich people shit", just like jewels, yahts, jets, shoes and the like, which amused Sylva who humored him enough to go through what made a good fountain pen and what made different pens valuable and what the more "famous" or well known "name brands" were and what inks were best for which pens and corralating inks to the pens themselves as Luna did the same thing with Selena so that Ravus could coach Luche through the same thing too as the rest were divided evenly and "put away" so that they could become an "inheritance" for the next generation.

Meanwhile Ravus wasn’t the only one who had gone through some changes over the course of the summer and now fall, Selena too seemed to fill in quite nicely, she had gained some weight over the summer, her hips had filled out and her derriere had plumped out and her breasts had grown, filled in and rounded out and while she had gone up a few dress sizes, Ravus couldn’t be happier about the developments. Like she had transformed from lithe teen to full blown woman and he was all too happy to replace every piece of clothing in her wardrobe so that she was comfortable and could embrace her current body.

And with Selena landing what in her opinion was the dream job at Fosters as a junior designer and was currently designing all her friend’s houses as Oak Creek Estates under the supervision of a woman named Samantha Leeds, who had taken Selena under her wing and was showing her the ropes and helping get all the classes at the local college. Selena had had the hardest time understanding CAD but when she finally figured it out. She quickly excelled.

“So what’s going on?” Selena asked after they seemed to recover but were in no need to change their positions or state of partial undress.

“Something stupid in office politics.” Ravus huffed.

“Ok…” Selena urged.

“Some of the board members are getting greedy, in particular Mr. Greed, they look at how much Project Recovery is making them and they’re seeing dollar signs at the other pharma we produce.” Ravus revealed.

“But I thought your mom had a pretty good stance that when it came to life saving drugs like insulin and other medications like it- that you put a cap on all those so they’re affordable to everyone.” Selena frowned.

“She did, but the other board members see Luche and I coming onto the board and think they can get to us and pit us against mother or pit us against each other- thinking their greed is going to be contagious or something or that we’re too young to know what we’re talking about and too inexperienced to have valid opinions.” Ravus grumped before he kissed her forehead sweetly, grateful he could bare his heart and soul like this to her so freely.

“Well that’s not going to work right?” Selena said as she raised her head to fix him with a look.

"No, it's just frustrating to deal with until they retire, although I can’t imagine dealing with Roman or Ainsley is going to get any better, all I hear is ‘chip off the old block’ when Rob talks about them." Ravus shook his head.

"Is there any way we can get Mr. Greed to retire early? Get some peace before Roman and Ainsley come on board or is it not just Mr. Greed that’s giving you all the headaches?" Selena hoped.

"I wish it was just him. But it’s not. It just...comes with the territory. Besides if there was a way to make Mr. Greed and the others to retire early, I'm pretty sure my mother would have done it already. They've been thorns in her sides most of her life and they’re proving to be thorns in ours as well." Ravus mused as Selena frowned deeper.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s not your problem to fix, but thank you for listening.” Ravus thanked her gratefully as he held her comfortably in his arms. “And thank you for this, this was the best surprise.” He smiled appreciatively as he nuzzled her face with his.

“You’re welcome.” Selena smiled happily.

“Hey you wanna go out to dinner?” Ravus asked hopefully. “We could see if Lu and Ada wanted to join us?” He asked.

“Sure,” Selena nodded as she and Ravus worked on getting straightened up as Selena pulled her dress down a bit more so it was a bit more modest and pinned the top up to a much more modest height and by the time they got squared away and unlocked the door they saw Ada coming out of Luche’s office dressed similarly to Selena and Luche himself had the same love drunk smile Ravus was wearing.

“Hey,” Selena greeted as both Selena and Ada blushed before they looked pointedly at each other’s shoes then back up to each other before they both tried to stifle their giggles because they both knew exactly why the other was wearing those heels as they beamed knowingly at each other.

“Dinner?” Ravus asked as he self consciously smoothed his hair as Luche did the same as Luche gave Ada a questioning look and smiled when she eagerly nodded her head.

“Oh yeah.” Luche agreed before they all hopped into Ravus’ new Land Rover and drove to the restaurant that piqued their interest and hunger.

“So how’s the wedding planning going?” Ravus asked Luche while they looked at the menus.

“Good, still deciding on invitations, although we've narrowed it down to three different choices.” Luche answered.

“We did agree to use the same venue Sylva used when she got married.” Ada revealed.

“Yeah, that’s the same venue we decided on too.” Selena smiled happily.

“Do you have any ideas what dress you’d want?” Selena asked.

“Actually yeah.” Ada nodded as she scooted closer to Selena in the booth to show her the dresses she had found on Pintrist.

“Oooh, I like that one.” Selena agreed.

“It’s just going to be a challenge to find one that doesn’t drown me out. Because I’m so short and petite, but I don’t want to walk down the aisle in like 7 inch heels just to not trip over the dress.” Ada confessed as Ravus nearly lost it Luche’s grin as he had that ‘I wouldn’t mind’ kind of expression.

“Are you excited to go back to Kleinfelds?” Selena asked.

“Very much so, I’m already packed.” Ada confessed.

That weekend, the whole crew went back to Klinefelds for Ada to do her dress shopping. As Sylva made sure that Ada’s parents and Luche’s parents were in the middle couch while the boys made sure to keep Luche preoccupied while all the girls happily rallied around Ada as they all had their own ideas of what Ada should wear while Morgan got Sylva’s picks and other dresses into the room.

“Ok, this is Crowe’s pick.” Morgan said as she brought Ada out in the first dress.

“Aww,” they all awwed.

“You’re drowning in it though Love.” Ada’s mother noted as others kind of grimaced and nodded in agreement.

“So what do you love about this dress?”

“I love the bling, I love the tiered layers, it’s just a little too poofy.” Ada offered Morgan.

“Ok, so let’s try again, we’ll be right back.” Morgan offered the crew.

“Ok, so this is a mermaid, fit and flare,” Morgan announced as she brought Ada back out.

“It looks amazing, I just can’t really move because it’s so restrictive.” Ada realized as the rest of her family put in their 2 cents about it before she was back and tried even more, trying on her mom’s picks, Linda’s picks then finally getting to Sylva’s picks but Sylva made sure that Morgan didn’t tell Ada that they were her pick’s and instead urged Morgan to introduce them as her picks before sneaking one into Morgan’s hands that was brand new that had not been there when they had been there last.

Ada softly gasped when she saw it, it was perfect, it had the tiered layers but it also had lace and glitter and just a little bit of everything. It was perfect and when she put it on, she couldn’t help but cry. It was a soft, blushed ivory. It complemented her red hair and her skin tone gorgeously. She felt like a proper bride in this and she could see in her mind- so clearly- how Luche would probably cry tears of happiness if he saw her in this. This was it, this was the one.

“There’s that smile.” Morgan grinned victoriously as she looked at Ada in the mirror after she cinched the corset back closed and got it looking like Ada was born into this dress.

“This is it, even if all of them hate it, this is it.” Ada insisted.

“Well then let’s show them.” Morgan insisted.

Everyone could tell that Ada’s smile practically came from her toes, she was practically glowing with happiness as Sylva got choked up which caused Linda and Ada’s mom Amelia to start crying as all the girls started gasping and cooing before Morgan happily snagged an appropriate veil and put it on her and that’s when they were all practically sobbing.

“It’s perfect Love, absolutely perfect. It has those tiers that you love and the lace is so romantic.” Amelia cried as she squeezed her husband- Richard’s hand who was also getting choked up as they passed a box of tissues down the line.

“You look stunning Ada, really, just perfectly beautiful.” Linda praised as she had already made her peace with Ada being a daughter in law.

“And it still has enough sparkle and glitter to it, that even in low light, you’ll glitter like the jewel you are.” Sylva added.

“So, are you saying yes to the dress?” Morgan asked.

“Yes, I’m saying yes to this dress.” Ada confirmed happily before Amelia got up off the couch and hugged her daughter tightly before her dad hugged her tightly too along with her brother who had also been flown in for the event with his fiance.

A week later, Hazel and Sylva returned to Klinefelds as Sylva had flown out Hazel’s sister Mei and her mother Huan and her dad Tommy along with Titus' mother Helen and Titus’ sister Jenny in for the appointment. Helen and the rest of her family had been all too happy to welcome Hazel into the fold. Once Titus was thirty and then almost 40, Helen gave up on the idea that Titus would ever get married and settle down, especially when the rest of her children were giving her grandchildren at this point but it seemed she was too hasty when Titus finally met Hazel and seemed to get with the program and settle down “properly”.

Meanwhile Huan and Tommy were also over the moon that Hazel was finally settling down and even though Billy wasn’t wild about the age difference at first, the more he and Titus got to know each other, the better they got along, Tommy was happy that Titus made Hazel happy in addition to Titus’ character and stability and profession and Huan was so happy to learn that Titus was a good man, who had a house and was planning on building another with Hazel and when Titus and Hazel adopted Brutus who was Kona, Kahlua and Sasha’s sibling, while Tredd and Stella adopted Brutus’ brother King. To Huan- a grand-dog was close enough to a grandchild, for now. While she was always proud of Hazel for earning her own way though the world and earning enough to take care of them in their retirement, she had been on Hazel since she was in her twenties to have someone take care of her. And it seems Titus had finally come along and to do just that.

“So what are you looking for?” Meredith asked Hazel after everyone had been introduced.

“I’m looking for a very simple, not too many embellishments, comfortable, light weight wedding dress. Titus and I are getting married at the beach next May, right after school lets out, because he is highschool football coach. It’s going to be a very small, intimate wedding with just family and really close friends.” Hazel answered.

“Aww, that’s awesome, is there a price point we’re comfortable with?”

“Ten thousand.” Hazel answered.

“Ooh, more than enough to work with, well let’s go.” Meredith urged as she brought Hazel back into a dressing room to get changed before she went hunting for the perfect dress.

“Simple, light, comfortable.” Meredith echoed over and over again as she combed through the back room, her almost encyclopedic knowledge of the backroom to her aid as she went through all the dresses before she found several that would fit those criteria.

Charlotte came into the bridal shop, a giddy grin on her face as she came and “snuck up” on her family as Sylva turned her head and smiled at the newcomer.

“Surprise!” Charlotte announced to her family.

“Charlie?!” Tommy smiled happily as he got up and gathered up his daughter into his large arms. She may have been a wanted criminal and fugitive, but he was always happy to see her and to him, she would always be his "little Charlie".

“I thought you were overseas?” Tommy asked.

“And miss this? Nah, it’s Hazel’s first big day before the big big day, I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” Charlotte happily murmured into her dad’s chest before Tommy put his arm around his daughter’s shoulders and introduced her to Titus’ family who were completely oblivious as to Charlotte’s true identity as Charlotte sat next to Sylva.

“It’s nice to see you again. Different kind of exciting this time,” Sylva offered with a mischievous grin that Charlotte mirrored.

“I take it you didn’t get any kind of trouble from the last time we were in each other’s company.” Charlotte offered.

“Nope, not a peep, thank you.” Sylva reassured her.

“You’re welcome, this was wonderful, thanks for letting me know, when you get to know their wedding arrangements, forward them to this number, I doubt the groom would be comfortable with Gil and I coming but I want to send them a proper wedding gift that won't be on any kind of gift registry, at least domestically.” Charlotte nodded as she handed Sylva a slip of paper written in Mandarin as Sylva read it quickly, nodded and put it into her billfold just as Hazel came out in her first dress and stopped when she saw Charlotte.

“Charlie?” Hazel gasped in excitement as she saw her sister.

“Hey you, don’t you look beautiful.” Charlie greeted as she set her large, heavy purse on the seat and came over and embraced her sister.

“I didn’t think I would see you again.” Hazel admitted as she hugged her sister tight.

“Sylva invited me, hope you don’t mind.” Charlotte explained.

“Nope, not at all.” Hazel readily assured her sister.

“Is Gil here too?” Hazel asked.

“He’s doing business, as usual, plus I don’t think Dad would be cool and I know your fiance wouldn't be cool if Gil and I showed up to the wedding itself, so this is the best I can do and this is exposed enough without making things difficult or uncomfortable or "unsafe".” Charlotte excused.

“I get it, I'm still really happy to see you and that you're here. It means a lot, especially to Mom and Dad, and of course me as well.” Hazel nodded as Charlotte nodded in unison.

“So is this your dress?” Charlotte asked, changing the subject.

“This is just the first one, you came just in time.” Hazel answered.

“Well then let’s get to it.” Charlotte insisted as she returned to her seat.

“So this is dress number one. What do we think?” Meredith asked.

“It’s nice, I’m not in love with it, but it’s nice.” Hazel answered honestly.

“It makes you look like you’re wearing a tent.” Huan criticized as Helen and Jenny nearly choked on their spit and looked at Huan in alarm as Charlotte akept her snickering quiet enough to pass it off as a cough as Mei just rolled her eyes and complained to her mom in Mandarin that she was being too harsh.

“You don’t look like you’re wearing a tent, but the cut isn’t quite right. You need a more flattering shape to the fabric.” Charlotte offered.

“Agreed.” Sylva nodded.

“Well, that’s what first dresses are all about, finding what elements can work and what elements won’t.” Meredith explained before they tried on a few different picks as Charlotte looked around as did Sylva at the other dresses on display at the other dresses in the store.

“That one,” Charlotte and Sylva said at the same time once they both locked eyes on it and pointed to it.

“Well go get it then, bring it to her, it will mean more to her if you do.” Sylva encouraged before Charlotte got up and strutted across the floor to get the dress in question before she asked to see which room her sister was in before she came to the appropriate dressing room, a security guard shadowing her.

“Try this one.” Charlotte suggested as she handed the dress over to her sister as Hazel gasped softly when she saw it before Charlotte saw her way out and went back to the group and waived the security guard back a little farther so his presence was not felt by everyone else.

“And?” Sylva prodded.

“She had the gasp and the smile.” Charlotte answered as she checked her phone.

“Please let this be the one, I’m running out of time.” Charlotte whispered as she looked at the time on her phone and read the messages her henchmen were sending her as they stood guard a short distance away as her driver himself was scanning the police channels as Gil’s other men were monitoring the area.

Hazel came out a short time later, wearing a smile that shamed the sun, moon and stars as everyone else gasped and oohed and awed.

“Now that’s the dress, you look exquisite Hazel.” Huan finally complimented as Charlotte and Sylva gave each other a meaningful smile as Hazel nearly burst into tears as Jenny and Helen were already crying too.

“It’s perfect, but still incomplete.” Hazel began as she stood up and pulled a special box from her bag and took out a set of jade jewelry and put it on Hazel as Huan and Mei cooed and practically giggled as they put it on her as Charlotte gave Hazel a special sachet as well before Charlotte’s phone chimed.

“Do you have to go?” Hazel asked as Charlotte’s eyes watered as she tried to put on a brave, happy smile but nodded yes.

“Thank you for coming and for all of this. Thank you for being my sister. I love you so much.” Hazel thanked her as the two hugged before Charlotte got to hug every member of her family as Sylva got to get a quick picture of them all together, both with Charlotte’s phone as well as other members of her family so that each one would have a picture of this moment to treasure forever before the Henchmen came over and cleared their throats to get Charlotte’s attention as Charlotte hugged her parents, specifically her dad one last time.

“I have to go, I love you.” Charlotte bid her family before she used her handkerchief to dry her eyes and left with the henchmen as her driver was already anxiously out front, waiting to take his Empress back to a safer, less ‘exposed’ space.

“How come she couldn’t stay?” Helen asked.

“She’s a very busy woman. She lives half a world away and she probably had to fly back pretty soon, and security at the airports is a nightmare.” Sylva delicately excused as she waived it off.

“But now that we found the dress and the veil and obviously the jewelry. Let’s get settled up and get dinner shall we?” Sylva encouraged with a bright happy smile.

When Sylva came back home from flying and taking care of all the other guests, she came home to see all of her kids and their fiances and their friends as they had made a really nice dinner for everyone as Pelna and Yasmine, Gladio and Pashmina, Prompto and Cindy, Luche and Ada, Libertus and Crowe and Craig and Iris were on their way as well as Luche’s family and Ada’s family.

“Hey! So how did it go?” Luna asked as she gave her mom a big hug.

“Good, Charlotte came and surprised Hazel and the family.” Sylva revealed which caused everyone to freeze and look at each other worriedly.

“Charlotte Stevens?” Luna asked, taken aback by the news.

“Oh don’t look so surprised, when Charlotte and Gil used the jet they left a single phone number for the pilot to give to me and said I get to use it once. And I knew Charlotte wouldn’t want to miss the milestone in Hazel’s life because Charlotte knows she probably won't be welcome at the wedding since Cor is one of Titus' groomsmen, so I used it and told Charlotte the plan and she was very grateful for the invitation since no one else in her family knew how to get a hold of her to tell her. Besides, Titus’ family was blissfully ignorant of who she really was and Hazel’s family got to have a nice little reunion within the realitive safety confine of a public space and Charlotte got to see Hazel in her wedding dress as a good sister should. It was fine, I mean she had to be carrying four guns on her and who knows how many knives on her person, she had to have two guns in her outfit and at least another two in her purse and her four henchmen were armed to the teeth as well and she could only stay for about an hour but Hazel found the dress and everyone gave it their stamp of approval and Charlotte gifted Hazel some really pretty jade jewelry which is customary for a Chinese bride to receive which honored that part of her heritage and traditions, which was really nice, it was a lovely time.” Sylva waived off as she got the picture and showed everyone the family picture she took.

“She has got to have the biggest balls in the world.” Tredd noted, impressed when he saw the picture.

“She’s got you beat, that’s for sure.” Stella teased.

“She’s got everyone beat.” Sylva laughed.

“So is this everyone or are more coming?” Sylva asked.

“More are coming.” Luna reported.

“How many more?” Sylva asked before her doorbell rang and slowly then all at once, everyone came as everyone started pulling all the components at the table, setting it up for a large extended friends and family meal before Luche and Ada came in last, both of them having anxious smiles on their faces.

“Is everything ok?” Sylva asked Luche as she tried to keep her knowing smile to a minimum.

“Yeah, yeah, everythings great.” Luche reassured her.

“You sure?” Sylva asked as she looked from Luche to Ada who had the same anxious smile on her face.

“Ok, so we have some news and we wanted everyone to be around to make the announcement and we don’t exactly know how it’s going to be received.” Luche hinted.

“If it’s what I think it is, I will do my best to lead the way in accepting the announcement with all the happiness and joy that such an announcement garners. But I also want to be the first to offer my congratulations.” Sylva reassured them both.

“Thank you.” Luche and Ada breathed in relief.

“Come on, dinner is getting cold.” Sylva encouraged them before they all came into the kitchen where everyone was getting something to drink with their dinner.

“So Luche and I chose wedding invitations!” Ada happily announced as she handed every couple an invitation as well as one to her parents and one to Luche’s parents as well.

“Wait, I thought we agreed on May 18th, this is in December..only three months, it’s the weekend before Nyx and Luna’s wedding?” Linda pointed out.

“Well that brings us to announcement number two. We’re pregnant, or rather Ada is.” Luche announced as there was just a hint of nervousness to his excitement as Sylva was the first to squeal, almost an excited scream in delight, only half a second before Crowe did which got everyone else to cheer joyfully as Sylva came over and hugged them both and offered her first “official” congratulations which got Linda and Ada’s mother Amelia and Linda to get over their initial shock and plaster on happy smiles and congratulate them before Ada was swarmed by the girls with hugs and congrats as the first ultrasound pictures were passed around that she had gotten the day before.

“So how far along are you?” Sylva asked.

“Ten weeks.” Ada announced as Tredd, Nyx and Ravus shared a rather knowing smile, but no money was passed between the three because Tredd and Ravus had “seen it” when Sylva had as well. Crowe especially was super happy because she wasn’t the only one pregnant anymore as her own little baby bump had seemed to pop out since her own wedding.

“Baby bump!” Crowe happily cheered as she gently bumped her little baby bump into Ada’s belly which got Ada to giggle as the two hugged tightly and couldn’t stop laughing.

“Congratulations man!” Libertus congratulated Luche as he hugged him super tightly.

“Thanks.” Luche laughed into the hug before he got more congratulations from everyone else as even Tredd was, for once, gracious.

“So what are you hoping for?” Tredd asked.

“A healthy baby and a non complicated delivery.” Luche answered honestly.

“Good. Ok, everyone listen up! Taking bets on due dates and gender, where’s a white board?” Tredd suddenly turned, raising his voice to shout over everyone as he received a mixture of laughter and groans from some of the adults as Sylva laughed the hardest as Tredd took the whiteboard off the fridge and the little marker and erased all the important reminders after taking a pic of what was on it so none of it would be lost.

“Ok so that technically puts Crowe five months ahead of Ada so if gestation is 40 weeks, that’s basically ten months and Ada is already ten of those 38-40 weeks in- that puts us at...holy shit you’re due on your original wedding date- May 18th. OK, So, taking bets on three day spreads May 18th, 19th and 20th? Any takers?” Tredd continued undeterred.

“You asshole, I announce my fiance is pregnant and you immediately turn it into a bet?” Luche laughed, not surprised by his friend’s behavior, but was hoping he would have at least five minutes before Tredd turned into “The Lovable Douche Asshole”, the lovable part was questionable though most of the time.

“May 12th through the 15th, and a boy and the winner gets bragging rights but all the money and proceeds go to Luche and Ada.” Sylva said as she fished several hundred dollar bills out of her wallet and handed them to Ada before discretely handing Tredd another one too.

“Sweet, first better, Sylva Caelum, May 12th through the 15th and a boy.” Tredd repeated as he wrote that down and put a note in his phone.

“Oh what the hell. Twenty quid on the 16th-19th and I want a granddaughter so I’m betting on a girl.” Amelia offered as she handed Luche and Ada the money with a laugh of her own.

“May 9th-12th, a boy.” Ignis said as he handed Luche a few hundred dollars as well.

“May 19 through the 21st and a boy as well.” Luna giggled as she handed the couple a few hundred dollars too.

“May 14th through the 17th, boy as well.” Ravus added as he gave Luche most of the money in his wallet.

“Amelia it looks like if it is a girl, you’re getting amazing odds, five to one, that’s pretty awesome.” Tredd grinned at Amelia.

“Oh hell, I say May 21st through the 24th, also a girl.” Linda added as she gave Luche and Ada some money too as soon Luche and Ada were holding wads of cash and laughing as their friends were giving them money as Tredd was taking “bets” from everyone as everyone joined in on this impromptu gamble.

“Ok, so this isn’t so bad.” Ada had to confess to Luche as they tried to organize their “winnings” into a “gift bag” that Sylva had on hand before they all sat down to eat dinner as Luche nodded his agreement to that. That had gone way better than he was fearing as Selena, Stella and Luna all looked at their fiances with thinly veiled suspicion as they were looking at each other knowingly as they also noticed that Sylva also seemed particularly smug as they all happily enjoyed a very nice friends and family dinner as they discussed baby shower ideas as well as when to plan all the bridal showers and such and made a new, accelerated timeline.

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velvetthunder1999 · 4 years

Text

All the time on Earth

Part 31 - Lonely

Summary: Even though you and George are on good terms, you feel deserted and lonely. When you sneak out with Fred to get away for a bit, George is mad at you for risking your life

Warnings: Angst, swearing(?)

(Also, I’m sorry but I’ve decided not to tag people - it’s just too much work. Feel free to follow me; I only post this story and you’ll see every time a new part comes up :) )

Word count: 5.5K

George Weasley x Reader // Fred Weasley x Reader (platonic)

Masterlist

It had been three weeks since George had walked out the door into the rain. For a good four days you had hoped that he’d come back and you could settle everything. But he hadn’t shown up. According to Bill, the twins were fine, their shop was always crowded with customers and they seemed relatively okay.

However, you couldn’t help but suffer. You kept replaying the whole awful conversation in your head, cringing and feeling ashamed. You knew you had rightfully become angry; George’s decision was just as insane as they come. But on the other hand, you also knew that you had made a mistake when you had started shouting at him. Both of you had been wrong, and now both of you were suffering because of it. Well… you hoped it wasn’t only you who had been suffering for the past few weeks.

You had to wait twenty nine days to hear the familiar pop again. You had been mindlessly flipping the pages of a book that you had read three times now, when the sound of someone apparating came from the garden. You looked at the clock; it was too early for Bill and Fleur to come home. You stood up so suddenly your chair almost fell over. You drew your wand and raised it so that it was pointing at the door.

Someone knocked. Then a voice, a voice that you had thought you’d never hear again spoke.

“It’s me. My name’s George Weasley, you call me ginger boy when you want to be cheeky. I call you witty, because you always have to have a comeback to whatever I say and because you’re never afraid to tell me when I’m acting like a true git —”

You opened the door and George fell silent at once. He looked skinnier than the last time you had seen him, and his hair was a bit longer as well. He was looking at you, his face stuck in an uncertain expression, his eyes in doubt.

“Hey,” he whispered.

“Hey,” you whispered back.

The two of you were staring at each other, not sure what to say. Then George casted down his eyes and cleared his throat.

“Can I… can I come in?”

“Sure,” you said and stepped to the side. As he walked past you, you could feel the scent of the shop on him. Fireworks. Your stomach clenched and you closed the door.

“I…,” he started, forcing himself to look into your eyes. “I wasn’t sure if I should come.”

“Why?” you asked, maybe a bit more coolly than you had intended. “Because you might be followed?”

“No,” George shook his head. “Because I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me.”

“Oh. I see.”

Both of you fell silent again. You didn’t know what to say, where to start. You opened your mouth and then closed it. You were staring at your own two feet for at least a minute before you gathered enough strength to look up again.

“George —”

“Y/N —”

You cut each other off and met each other’s eyes again. You couldn’t look at him for long; his gaze was burning an aching hole in your soul. He looked lost, scared, uncertain; he looked like an abandoned child. He suddenly seemed much younger than he actually was.

You tore your eyes away from his face and saw his hands by his side. He was constantly making his fingers into a fist then releasing them again, clearly drawn by anxiety. You sighed. You were sure that in this moment both of you felt the same way.

He had hurt you. Yes. But you had hurt him just the same. You wanted to tell him how sorry you were… you wanted him to know that you had run after him into the rain… that you were still insanely in love with him and that fighting was stupid… You wanted to let him know that he was your everything and not having him around had driven you mad… and you just wanted him to know how much you’d missed him. But words seemed to fail you. You didn’t know how to say all those things… Not when you still had that miserable argument between you… Not when he had said he didn’t want to visit you in the future.

But you didn’t want to fight anymore.

You stepped forward, your eyes still fixed on his nervous hands. Slowly, very slowly you reached out, touching his fist, gently asking his fingers to loosen the fist and to hold onto you instead. And they did. With a sudden breath of air his hand welcomed yours and finally you were strong enough to look into his eyes again.

“I don’t wanna fight anymore,” you whispered. He nodded.

“Me neither, I’m…” he was desperately looking for the words. “Witty, I didn’t mean what I said —”

“I know,” you said reassuringly. “Me neither.

“I am so sorry,” he said, his head hanging low. “Really, I was… I was a horrible, disgusting prat, who —”

You stood on your toes and wrapped your arms around his neck. Even though the last couple of weeks were rough, you didn’t want to hear him bashing himself.

“Let’s just… Let’s just figure out something, okay?” you said while hugging him. When he put his arms around you as well, the warmth left by his touch was coursing through your body like electricity. It warmed you. “Because I really missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” his voice cracked. You hugged him tighter. “These weeks without you… It was absolutely dreadful. Even more when I realized that it happened because of me.”

“That’s not entirely true…”

“Yes, it is,” he said firmly. “You were right… about the stupidest idea I’ve ever had.”

“Then let’s come up with something,” you said as you let him go, but stayed close while looking deeply into his eyes. “Let’s have a plan, let’s figure out a schedule… Anything. Anything is better than not having you around.”

He didn’t answer at once. You saw doubt on his face. Before he could had come up with anything, you cupped his cheeks and talked in a very gentle manner.

“Love… You saw how these three weeks were… Dreadful as you said. It’s clear that… we need each other. I need you…”

“And I need you, too, but it’s dangerous —”

“I know, love,” you said, still watching your tender tone. “But I think we’ve reached a point where we simply have no other option but to accept the risk. Because this… this isn’t a life. What you’re suggesting is going to kill us both.”

“I can’t loose you,” he said miserably. “If the risk is too high, I cannot…”

“So we’ll make it as low as possible. Seeing you once a month is still better than not seeing you at all.”

“Once a month?” he said. “That’s…”

“Awful, yes. It’s…” you were only now realizing what it meant. “It’s horrible, but… would you be okay with that?”

You stroke his jaw with your finger. He took his time, thinking.

“Or even Fred can come and visit me once in a while,” you added with a weak smile. “I miss him as well.”

George chuckled. You took it as a good sign.

“Yeah, I’m sure he’d be delighted.”

“So is that a yes?” you asked carefully. George kissed your temple and murmured against your skin.

“Yes. Once a month.”

Once a month. Even though it was more than nothing, your smile still wasn’t completely honest. When George left that afternoon, the promise that you’d only see him four weeks later made you want to burst into tears again.

——

And so, weeks had passed. The schedule seemed to be working, it didn’t draw much attention and George said the members of the Ministry and the Death Eaters (which were basically the same thing at this point) did not seem suspicious. If anything, it made you at ease at least.

Every two weeks one of the twins showed up to spend one hour with you, keeping you company, telling you everything that had been happening in the world. And every time they left, they took a piece of you with them, eventually making you feel deserted and empty. You spent almost all your time in your room, barely going outside, not seeing the point since you’d already knew the garden and the small segment of the beach inside the protective charms like the back of your hand.

When you were not listening to the radio listing all the names of people who had disappeared or died, you tried to sleep. Your idea was that if you woke up late and went to bed early, two weeks would pass incredibly fast. However, since you were doing nothing other than worrying, mostly you just lay awake in bed, staring at the dark ceiling, trying to avoid your anxious and miserable thoughts. Oftentimes you grabbed your crystal necklace, letting George know that you were thinking about him; then, you waited to see the crystal turning its color, giving you small doses of relief that George was okay, too, and he didn’t forget you, regardless of what your damaged brain suggested.

Then the weather started to change; the wind was cooler, the days were shorter. December had arrived, marking the beginning of the fifth month that you had spent in hiding. You could count on one hand how many times you’d seen George. By this time you felt both physically and mentally sick. You had nothing to look forward to. Only one hour from George and one hour from Fred per month.

Today was one of those hours when you didn’t feel totally depressed, and it was only due to the fact that Fred was sitting at the table next to you, cutting up a blueberry pie that Mrs Weasley had made. He was rather cheerfully talking about something and nodged you with his elbow when you weren’t paying attention for the second time now.

“Oi!” he said, shoving pie into his mouth. “I’m talking to you.”

“Sorry,” you said and started picking your pie with your fork. You wanted to eat it but on the other hand you knew your nervous-all-the-time stomach couldn’t handle it.

“What’s gotten into you?” asked Fred, eyebrows raised.

“Am I a burden?”

The question burst out of you before you could had stopped yourself. Fred looked taken aback.

“What the bloody hell are you talking about?”

“I just… Never mind.”

“Hey…” he gently put his hand on your shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Sure, that’s why you just asked me if you’re a burden.”

“I meant…” you sighed and put down your fork. “I know I’m not good company. Nothing has happened to me in the last five months.”

“And?”

“And I’m sorry if this obligatory visiting is starting to annoy you.”

“Merlin, Y/N, something’s really gone wrong in your head,” he said in disgust. “You really think I don’t like to see you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Blimey. Did you ask my brother the same thing?”

“No.” “Is it just me, then? Do you think I’m not your friend anymore?” 

“It’s not that!” you snapped.

“Then what?”

“I… Forget it.”

“Tell me.”

He was leaning quite close, completely ignoring his pie before him. There was something in his eyes that let you know that he won’t judge you. You turned your head away, picking at your pie while you talked.

“It’s really hard, you know. I know that I’m lucky, and I’m grateful, but… everything is hell out there and I just really wish… I really wish I could do something. Help.”

“You’re helping by staying safe,” said Fred seriously. “By staying alive. I know it’s hard, staying here. I’d gone crazy, believe me. Not leaving the bloody house for months. I’m really proud of you.”

You snorted.

“For what, may I ask?”

“For holding on,” said Fred with a shrug.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“Have you told George this?”

“Not really.”

“Why?”

You mumbled something about not wanting to bother him. Fred frowned.

“Well, that’s just stupid. Why would you bother him?”

“I’d rather just enjoy the time he spends here.”

“Y/N…”

“So how’s the shop?” you asked. You didn’t want to talk about your issues anymore and Fred, after staring at you in doubt for a few seconds, let you change the topic.

“Yeah, the shop’s good. Lot of customers. We’re quite busy.”

“That’s nice.”

“It is. We’re working on some new stuff, they’re quite amazing, you’ll see.”

“I wish I could see it. Or just see the shop again. Or just go for a walk, really.”

“Well, take your coat, Y/N, I’m taking you out,” said Fred jokingly. You chuckled.

“Can you imagine? Would be kinda crazy.”

“Yeah,” Fred smiled to himself. “Crazy.”

You locked eyes, staring in silence. You knew you were thinking the same thing.

“It… It would be crazy, though… wouldn’t it?” you said, asking for reassurance.

Fred tilted his head from left to right, thinking to himself.

“Yeah… It would. Unless…”

“It wouldn’t.”

“It’s kinda dangerous though…”

“Yeah, we shouldn’t…”

“Or should we?”

“Well…” you started carefully. “I mean if… we’re careful and everything… disguise ourselves, maybe…”

“Stay only for a little while,” nodded Fred. “Find a nice place…”

“A muggle town, perhaps? Where no one knows us?”

“Yes… Yes I think…”

“That should be fine.”

You were staring at each other again. You dared only to whisper.

“Are you serious?”

“Y/N… take your coat.”

You jumped up from your seat with a sudden wave of excitement. You were going out. You were leaving the house! You were going to see something else than these walls and the ocean!

“We need to get back before Bill and Fleur do.”

“Yes,” agreed Fred. Then he drew out his wand. “Now, come here.”

He examined you from head to toe, then indicated at your face.

“Would you like your eyecolor to change? Or your hair?”

“Should we do both?” you asked. “And I think we should change you as well.”

Ten minutes later you stepped out of the house as someone unrecognisable. Your hair was pink as Tonks’s, your eyes a strange color of purple. You had told Fred about muggle contact lenses, he was only willing to change your eyes to an extreme extend after that. You were wearing a big puffy jacket with green boots, and a scarf that said “Oxford University”.

“I have never heard of this place,” said Fred.

“Well then, great. We’re supposed to be muggles, right?”

He was now blonde, his brown eyes changed to blue. It felt weird to look at him, but the way he talked to you made it obvious that he was still Fred.

“Well, then, woman,” he said with a grin. “Are you ready?”

You looked at the ground as if you could see the invisible border. Your insides were shaking with excitement. You took Fred’s hand and closed your eyes.

“I’m ready.”

He took one step, pulling you with him. Your boots barely touched the ground when you felt yourself twisting in the air, having your lungs begging for air, then it was over and you felt yourself standing on concrete instead of sand. You opened your eyes.

“Where are we?”

You were standing in a dark alleyway between the back of two shops. On your right were some dustbins, on your left lay the street, illuminated by the setting sun.

“It’s a muggle town, er, village more like. I forgot the name but I remember dad bringing us here once when we were little. He wanted to show us the muggles.”

“I see.”

“Ready?”

“Sure,” you said but you couldn’t move. It was so surreal. It was so exciting and nerve-racking. You couldn’t believe it. Fred chuckled, smirking.

“Come.”

He grabbed your hand and started pulling you towards the main street. When you stepped onto the sidewalk, your mouth opened to the sight. The cars were bathing in the orange light of the sunset, a man and a woman were riding a bycicle on the icy road, laughing. Shops were all around the place, offering tea, coffee, bagels and scones. A nice little sidewalk with stairs led to a small lake across the road. Children were skating on its surface.

“You like it?” asked Fred, still grinning. His breath was like smoke in the cold December air.

“I love it. Thank you.”

“No problem, love.”

He bought two hot teas with honey, then you two started walking towards the lake.

“How come you have muggle money on you?”

“You never know when you’ll need it,” shrugged Fred.

You made your way down the stairs, now walking in the snow, sipping the tea. You found an empty bench not far from the lake, where the sun still warmed your faces but you could also keep your distance from the muggles.

“What are they doing?” asked Fred, indicating at the children on the ice.

“Skating,” you said. “You don’t know about skating?”

“Well, look at them,” he said with a funny tone. “Seems useless to me.”

You giggled.

“Just because it’s not quidditch…”

“It doesn’t make any sense —”

“It doesn’t mean it’s not entertaining!” you laughed. Fred frowned in mock outrage.

“Are you laughing at me?”

“Yes, yes I am,” you rolled your eyes jokingly. “Wizards.”

He didn’t say anything but from the corner of your eyes you saw him smiling to himself and shaking his head. He then turned back towards the children. You took a sip from your tea.

“How does it feel being a blonde?” you asked.

“It felt normal until you brought it up.”

“Sorry,” you chuckled.

“Does it look strange to you?”

You looked at him. You squinted.

“It’s your eyes, more like. Not what I’m used to.”

“I’m still handsome I hope,” he smirked. You laughed.

“Everyone can dream.”

“You’re naughty,” he said. “I know I’m not as handsome as my brother.”

“Yeah?” you asked, quite surprised at his statement. Then he raised his head, closing his eyes with satisfaction.

“Now that I’m blonde, I’m more handsome.”

“Yeah, you are,” you said, then covered your mouth. Fred’s eyes burst wide open.

“Did you just —”

“No!” you squeeked. Fred nodded vigorously.

“Yes, you did! You said it!”

“No, I didn’t! I didn’t mean it like that!” you tried to save yourself but the damage was done. Fred laughed joyfully.

“Well, well, dear Y/N, the day finally arrived…”

“Oh, shut up…”

“The day when you admit the truth…”

“Oh, God,” you chuckled painfully.

“Oi, Y/N, what would George say to this?”

“Oh, shut up, you,” you said between laughs and hit him playfully on his shoulder. “You’re never gonna let me forget this, are you?”

“Never,” he said, beaming. “I’ll tell it to my grandchildren one day, let them carry on the story of this fine day, let the future know…”

“Oh, my God, just stay quiet now,” you laughed.

The sun was hanging low now, and the air was getting even colder than before. You’d drunk your last sips of tea and now you were playing with the paper cup, folding it in your hands. Fred was watching the children with interest, every now and then a small smile appeared on his lips whenever a kid did something funny. When the last beam of orange sunlight disappeared behind the hill, and the kids started to leave, Fred looked at you with a soft expression.

“I reckon it’s time to go.”

“I know,” you said. You’d been preparing for this moment the minute you two had sat down here.

“We can come again sometime,” he said gently, seeing your sorrowful face.

“When I’ll see you in a month?” you asked miserably. You turned your head away. You didn’t want to see his pitiful expression.

He didn’t say anything. Still staring at the lake, he put one arm around your shoulders and pulled you into a gentle hug. You let out a shaky sigh.

“I don’t wanna go back,” you whispered into the silence.

“I know.”

You raised your head a little, looking at him. He turned to you, his eyes meeting yours.

“Thank you, Fred.”

“You’re welcome.”

His lips curled into a sweet smile and even though he was blonde, even though he had blue eyes, you recognised him under his disguise. You recognised his mannerisms, the way he looked at you, the way he talked to you, the way he hugged you. All of it made you feel really melancholic.

“Take me back, please,” you said, accepting that there was simply no other way.

You stood up from the bench and walked back to the street, passed the shops and got back to the alleyway from where you started off. You offered your hand to Fred, but he refused to take it. Instead, he placed his hands on both side of your face.

“It’s gonna be okay, Y/N, all right? You’re gonna be fine. I promise.”

Seeing how intense he was, you nodded. You wanted to believe him. You wanted to believe him so bad.

“Okay,” you said, and offered your hand once again. This time he took it and you felt the familiar twisting and turning again.

You felt the salty air first, but you refused to look around just yet. Behind your closed eyelids you saw the village in the orange light, and the lake with the children. You wanted to hold on to it for as long as you could.

“Oh… Shit.”

Hearing Fred’s tense voice made you open your eyes. Every inch of your body winced in fear. In the backyard of the house stood George. He was facing you, staring, waiting.

“Oh, no,” you said. You couldn’t even imagine the scolding you were about to get. “Oh, shit.”

“It’s okay,” said Fred and gently grabbed your shoulder. “Come inside the charms.”

You stepped inside, keep staring at George in the garden. He didn’t move an inch. Fred saw your anxious face and leaned closer.

“I’ll talk to him, okay? I’ll…”

“No,” you shook your head. “It’s… I’ll do it.”

You started walking, nervously biting your tongue. As you got closer, you could make out George’s expression. His face was pure rage and he was panting. You had never seen him this angry.

When you were only a few feet away, Fred stepped forward.

“George, before you start —”

“Shut up,” answered George, not taking his eyes off you. His voice was ice cold. Fred frowned; he didn’t let it end here.

“Now, listen —”

“I said,” George’s voice was shaking from the restrained anger. “Shut up.”

“It’s okay,” you said hastily, recognising that nothing could be done. You turned to Fred. “Go. Go home.”

“What are you —”

“It’s okay, Fred,” you said. “Really. Just go.”

Fred looked quite uncertain. He was staring for a few seconds, then he seemed to accept your request. He turned to George again.

“Don’t be so hard on her.”

“Leave.”

Fred fell silent, but you could see that he was about to say some nasty things to his brother. Instead, he waved his wand, turned back into his ginger self and walked towards the border. When he stepped outside, he disapparated at once. “What’s this?” said George in a cold tone, pointing at your purple hair. Your voice was really high as you answered.

“Disguise.”

“Disguise,” said George after you waved with your wand and turned back to your normal self. “You two planned this out nicely, didn’t you?”

“We…”

“How could you?” he yelled and suddenly the words got stuck in your throat. You wanted to disappear. “Do you have any idea what I’ve gone through?”

“I…”

“One hour! We agreed on one hour! What do you think was going through my head when Fred didn’t come back after one hour?”

“I don’t know,” you whispered. His fury scared you.

“You don’t know? Try again!”

“That…” your eyes started to fill up with tears. “That something’s wrong.”

“Brilliant answer, Y/N. And how do you think I felt?”

“I d-don’t know.”

“Answer me.”

“W-worried.”

“Oh, worried is not even close. But let’s continue. When Fred didn’t appear another hour later, what do you think I thought?”

You shook your head in tears. George continued, cruelly.

“Nothing? Then how do think I felt when I came here to check if everything was all right but I saw the empty house instead?”

“I don’t know,” you mumbled. Tears started running down your face.

“I thought you were dead!” yelled George in rage. “I thought you were murdered! Would you like to be murdered, Y/N? Look at me! Would you?!”

“No,” you sobbed. George didn’t care.

“Then how could you be so irresponsible, Y/N? How? Do you have any idea —”

“We were c-careful!”

“I don’t give a damn!” he roared. “I would’ve never thought that you would be so careless, so imprudent to risk your own life! Don’t you listen to the radio? Don’t you hear how many muggleborns are killed? Or — do you think it’s just a game, do you think I come here only once a month as a joke?”

“No…”

“I was worried sick!”

“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t have done the same!” you shrieked. “The famous George Weasley would have just stayed put for months, wouldn’t he?”

“I am not the main target of the whole fucking Ministry!”

“That’s not my point!” you cried. Finally, you found your voice. “You have no idea what’s it like, being here, not doing anything all day but listening to the radio listing all the people who disappeared or died! You call that a life? I don’t have a life! I am locked up here, and yes, I should be grateful and I am grateful but I’m suffocating here! And I can’t feel anything but guilt, knowing that while others are on the run I still don’t appreciate enough to have my own room and sleep in a bed every night! You know what’s the worst? Everyone, every single person, you included keeps telling me to hold on until the end, until the good times come but… George, when will the good times come? For how long do I have to stay in hiding? A year? Five? Or ten? What kind of life is that? And I can’t do this anymore… I can’t… I don’t… I don’t know what to do and… I’m lonely, I’m so miserably lonely, I’ve seen you four times in five months and…. and… who says we’re gonna win? Who says it’s a guarantee that we’re gonna get our lives back? Who says You-Know-Who’s gonna loose and I won’t have to stay inside for ever?”

You sat down in the sand, trying to muffle your sobs. You couldn’t believe the amount of times you had cried in the past months. You felt yourself on the verge of insanity. Not because of the crying, no. Because of all the things that made you cry.

You felt a hand on your knee as George sat down, too. His voice was low.

“Why haven’t you told me this?”

“I’m telling you now,” you sniffled. You hid your face into your hands. George tightened his grip on your knee.

“You still shouldn’t have gone out today.”

“I know. Don’t punish F-Fred for it. It was my idea.”

“I’m gonna have a word with him, don’t you worry.”

“But it was —”

“I don’t care. Y/N…” he let out a groan. “Y/N, you have no idea what I felt when I saw the empty house. When I thought… I’ll never forgive you for this. Never.”

“I k-know.”

“Good. Now, listen to me because I’m only going to say this once. Everything’s going to be all right.”

“Oh, shut it,” you sobbed. “You keep saying that but nothing’s all right.”

“I trust Harry.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s gonna succeed.”

“I trust that he will.”

He spoke with so much confidence, with so much strength that it made you feel even weaker than before. You knew you were only a shadow of your normal self and yes, while George was here, telling you all this, you could almost believe it. But he was going to leave as always, leaving you alone with your thoughts again only to appear a month later. You couldn’t handle it anymore. You needed him.

“Stay,” you said suddenly, barely louder than a whisper.

“What was that?”

Your lip trembled as you looked him in the eye.

“Please stay.”

“Y/N…” suddenly his face changed; he looked extremely remorseful. “You know I need to go back.”

“Please…” you begged, tears running down on your cheeks again. “I’m begging you.”

“Love…”

“Please…” you grabbed onto his jacket. You knew you looked absolutely pathetic. You didn’t care. “Just for tonight. Please.”

He gently wiped your face. His touch made you shiver.

“Y/N, I… I can’t…”

“Don’t…” you sobbed. “Don’t leave me alone…”

He was fighting an internal battle. You took his hand, desperately pleading.

“Please… Please, George…”

He took his time examining your face, brushing a piece of hair out of the way, then cupping your cheeks. His touch was so warm, and you missed it so much… Then he kissed you, gently and carefully and you knew that this was goodbye, that this was his way of letting you go without words…

“I need to go home,” he said and you cried. “But… But I’ll come back.”

“W-what?” you said, not believing your ears.

“I’ll come back tonight, okay? But I need to go home first. Talk to Fred, arrange a few things…”

“No,” you started shaking your head. “No, you… you’ll promise but you won’t come back…”

“I promise you I’ll come back,” he said, looking deeply in your eyes.

“No…”

“Do you trust me?”

You didn’t answer. You shook your head in despair.

“Do you trust me?” he said again, more firmly.

You wanted to. You wanted to trust him so bad.

“Yes,” you lied.

“Trust me,” he said with another soft kiss. “Only tonight, okay? This is an exception.”

“Sure,” you mumbled. It didn’t matter. You knew he wouldn’t come.

“Okay,” he said and he stood up. He helped you up, too. “Go back into the house, all right? Don’t leave, you understand me?”

“Yes,” you said, barely audible. He cupped your cheeks again.

“Do you understand?”

“Yes,” you said again.

“Good. Now go.”

You kissed him goodbye, stretching the moment for as long as you could. Then you turned away without meeting his eyes again, and wiping yours, you walked into the house. You could hear the sound of disapparation and you knew that he was gone.

And you waited. Because even though you knew he wasn’t coming back, even though you knew that he had promised only to make you calm down, you couldn’t help but hope.

When Bill and Fleur came home and you had dinner, you stayed awfully quiet. You felt sick and tired, you were exhausted and drained. More than once you caught yourself staring out of one of the windows of the house with tears in your eyes. Finally, around nine o’clock you couldn’t take it anymore and went to bed.

And you waited. Constantly wiping your wet cheeks you waited. Being disappointed after every passing minute you waited. Every now and then you looked at your necklace but it wasn’t glowing. George wasn’t thinking about you. He wasn’t coming back.

Around one in the morning you felt the tiredness taking over your body; you could barely keep your eyes open. It was really hard to accept the truth. You kept dazing off and jerking awake again, just to realize that you were alone, maybe more alone than you had ever been. And this feeling travelled through your body, poisoning every inch of you, and you were hurting, more than you had ever been hurt before.

But then, something happened. You were on the verge of sleeping again, when you heard footsteps on the corridor outside your room. You didn’t dare to move. It was Bill. You were sure. Maybe it was morning already and they headed for work again.

Your door creaked. You raised your head at once and saw a tall, ginger figure entering the room. In the dark, only with the moon shining through your window, he looked like a heavenly presence. You weren’t even sure if he was real or you were dreaming already. But then you decided that you didn’t even care.

He moved. He kicked off his shoes, he took off his jacket. He moved the covers and he climbed into bed next to you. His firework scent filled the room, embracing you, filling up the hole in your soul. He wrapped his arms around you as you moved to rest your head on his chest. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. Everything seemed to fall into place. You felt his fingers in your hair, gently brushing your face. And after four months of lonely nights you finally heard him whisper again:

“Sweet dreams.”

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hiscyarika · 4 years

Text

Closer to Heaven Above (And Closer to You)

Word Count: ~900

Pairing: Agent Whiskey (Jack Daniels) x Reader

Summary: Jack spends a few tender, post-coital moments with Reader.

Warning(s): (Brief) Nondescript Sexual Content

A/N: Here’s my soft contribution for the day, done together with @aerynwrites and @murdermewithbooks. You can find Aeryn’s version of this with Frankie here, and keep an eye out for Alyssa’s Javier fic within the next few days! I hope everyone enjoys this and that it’s a nice change from the very important but still mentally taxing events happening in the world right now. Everyone stay safe and take care of yourselves, both physically and mentally, please. And again, I’m sorry for the sin. It’s still not actual smut, but I’m inching closer and closer 😂💙

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You love the high. Blood rushes through your veins. There’s a thrill to his every touch, and in the absence of his warmth he leaves every nerve teetering on the edge. Your chest heaves with labored breaths, and with every parting of your lips you sing his name, bringing you closer and closer to heaven as your bodies come together as one.

You love the climax. The euphoria overwhelms you: back arched, mouth open but offering no sound. Your mind and all of your senses are rendered useless as you know only one thing: pure bliss. Here, you’ve reached heaven, and you would spend forever here if only it were possible.

But most of all, you love the release. Energy spent, you collapse back onto the mattress, body cushioned by memory foam. Your lips are parted not by the exaltation of his name but by long, slow exhales as you come back down from heaven to rest beside him.

“Jesus,” you breathe, your eyes slipping closed as you pull the sheet over your bare chest.

There’s a low, rumbling chuckle in your ear as he settles down next to you. “There’s no need for that, sugar. Jack will do just fine,” he teases, lips pressed lightly to the skin beneath your ear.

You turn to him, eyes open and a grin on your face. “Very funny,” you murmur lazily, amusement lifting your tone.

Your expression softens as you meet Jack’s gaze. You reach up, cradling his cheek with one hand, your thumb languidly tracing his cheekbone. In the soft morning light, skin glistening with sweat, you swear he’s never looked more beautiful. Your hand drifts upward, fingers tangling gently in his hair. His eyes slowly close at the contact, deep brown but in the soft glow of the sun they remind you of a glass of whiskey. Appropriate, given his name.

He leans down, his lips capturing your in a tender, lingering kiss. His hand comes up to cover yours, but slides down your arm, his fingertips brushing lightly against your skin. He gently takes your wrist, separating from you only to press another warm kiss to the sinewy underside.

“Jack?,” you whisper, his name sleepily drawn out.

“Hmmm?,” he muses, snaking his arms around your waist and holding you closer to his chest.

You giggle lightly at his lazy movements, your hand slipping from his hair and running slowly down his back. He grumbles softly at the sound of your laugh, but only nuzzles closer in response.

“I love you,” you murmur. Emotion makes your throat close up as you speak the words. In this slowed moment in time, filled with tender, unhurried touches, the words mean so much more. For both of you. You both understand the value of these moments, given their rarity. To be able to enjoy a quiet morning like this, with nowhere to be and no calls to be answered, it’s special.

Jack shifts then, his eyes opening once more to look at you. “I love you too, sweetheart.” The reverence in his tone, the way those dark amber eyes search yours, it’s enough to bring the threat of tears. For just a split second, you see worry ghost across his face.

But then the same wave of emotions swells in his eyes too.

Because you’ve both seen war. You’ve both counted your losses and stitched yourselves back together. So this, the closeness you feel, this semblance of heaven, it’s more than you ever could have dreamed of. After years of accepting that you’d wake up to an empty bed each morning, it’s something neither of you can take for granted.

Your lips turn upward into a soft smile, and slowly his expression mirrors yours as you silently gaze at each other. You’re not sad. How could you be when you’re in the comfort of his arms? Here, you only know bliss and contentment.

He reaches out, gently brushing a few strands of hair from your face. And then his lips meet yours again, his fingers lightly cradling your jaw as he holds you close to him. Your bodies meld together, legs tangled and chest to chest. And as you come together in this way, physically, so too do your souls find a connection to each other.

Outside the bedroom window, the sunlight dims. The singing of morning birds turns into the pattering of light rain, a gentle rhythm against the glass. Warm and enveloped in each other, your drowsiness returns to you, and you find yourself slowly being lulled back to sleep in the arms of the man you love more than anything else.

Jack grins down at you, pressing a sleepy kiss to your forehead. “What do you say we spend the day right here?,” he mumbles around a yawn.

“Nothing would make me happier,” you reply, closing your eyes again.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” he murmurs. He then tucks your head under his chin, his chest heaving with a contented sigh. “Goodnight, darlin’.”

You take in a deep breath, inhaling the scent of his cologne that still lingers on his skin. “Sleep well, Jack,” you breathe, exhaling softly as you settle in to rest again.

“I always do, so long as you’re right here with me,” he mumbles into your hair.

And it’s there, wrapped in safety and warmth, with a gentle summer rain falling, the two of you find a sleep just as blissful as the heaven you bring each other.

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justanother-unluckysoul · 3 years

Text

Working My Way Back To You 9/11

Killian gets captured. When Emma finally rescues him, he’s traumatized and nearly broken from the torture he endured. Angst and h/c galore as Emma helps him through it.

I tried to go easy on the whumpy side of it since it’s supposed to be for Comfortember, but it’s me so I probably failed lol

A/N: Oof this chapter got away from me a bit lol I strayed back into whumpy territory a little in this one, as Killian talks about some of his trauma, but he does get comfort in the present time.

Warnings for this chapter: a bit of smut (I probably don’t have to warn for that since this story is already M rated but it’s there, so) (also it’s my very first attempt at smut and I’ve rewritten that scene only like a bazillion times haha but I’m still so nervous to post it, I just hope you guys don’t hate it)

Unbetad as always so mistakes are all mine.

Tagging @cocohook38 as requested.

Read this chapter on AO3

Working My Way Back To You

Road Trip + Campfire

It had been Archie’s idea for Emma and Killian to get away for a while. Go down the coast, he’d said, find yourself. Reconnect with each other. Killian didn’t know how camping was supposed to help with any of that. But Emma had seemed excited about the prospect when he’d mentioned it to her, and he never could deny her wishes so here they were, sitting on a log in a forest in the middle of nowhere, where Killian could hear the ocean but not see it through the trees. The campfire crackles and pops and the heat against his front is a sharp contrast to the chill at his back, and perhaps they hadn’t thought this through very well because even through his layers Killian can still feel the cold now that the sun has gone down. Although it has been unseasonably warm lately, the night air still carries quite a bite. Emma’s tucked into his right side, a blanket around her shoulders. She seems happy despite the cold, her stomach full of the fish they’d caught from the sea earlier that day, and the ‘marshmallows’ she’d insisted on bringing along – yet another sticky, sugary treat Killian couldn’t quite stomach. He’d tried two, toasted over the fire until they were gooey on the inside, but they sat uncomfortably in his gut and he left the rest for Emma. He’s not sure if it was the problem was the marshmallows, or the fact that his anxiety is rising again just from being in a forest. Spending centuries on a jungle island, at the whim of a malicious demon, had ruined it for him. On a good day, he could shove it down, bury it deep where all his other vulnerabilities lived. But today is not a good day.

“What are you thinking about, Killian?” Emma asks, and he supposes he has been quiet for too long.

“Just… things.”

“Good things?”

He wishes.

“No.”

“Oh.”

She’s got her fingers on his chest, toying absently with the hairs at the unbuttoned top of his shirt. He wonders if she’ll ask for more of him. He wonders if he can give it this time. He thinks about her body pressed against his and her gentle hands removing his clothes, and maybe he wants to try it again.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Emma asks.

Her unexpected question forces an alteration of Killian’s thoughts that is abrupt and unpleasant. Because that’s why they’re really out here, isn’t it? To talk about things. Reconnect, whatever the hell that meant. He doesn’t want to do this. He really, really doesn’t want to dip his toes back into those memories. It’s bad enough he has to bare his soul for the cricket on a regular basis.

“I…”

Where does he start? How can he tell her the true horrors he endured in the cellar? And does she even want to hear it – how they’d seemingly delighted in every strangled groan and grunt he couldn’t hold back under the torture, and how they’d laughed when they finally forced a scream from him? That his only comfort was the hallucination of her, kneeling at his side in the cell telling him everything would be okay as he struggled to breathe around the pain consuming his body? Bloody hell, he’s shaking again at the thought of saying any of that to her.

“We don’t have to do this,” Emma says, giving him a way out that he desperately wants to use.

But Killian Jones is not a coward.

“No, it’s… I can…”

“Breathe, Killian,” she coaches, sitting up straighter and her hand moves up to cradle his face, “Breathe. You’re okay.”

He takes a breath. And another. And slowly the tendrils of panic release him.

“I saw you there,” he blurts out before his mind can talk him out of it again, “In the cell with me. You brought me comfort amongst the torment…”

“Killian, you have to be still. Just be still. It’ll only hurt more if you move.”

He blinks drowsily at her standing beside him, her hands gentle on his battered body as he hangs from the shackle. Perhaps he should listen to her advice. The pain of fighting to keep his feet under him is making it harder to breathe. Harder to think. And he needs to think. But…

“Emma, how are you here?” he gasps, and his eyes fill with tears of relief.

Her hand caresses his face as she smiles, and he wants to weep from how good it feels. Her love. Her kindness. How long has it been since anyone has touched him in such a way? How long has he been shackled in this cold cell?

“It’s okay,” she says with so much tenderness, “Everything’s going to be okay now. Go to sleep, Killian.”

His eyes flutter closed. He’s so cold. He’s so tired. Everything hurts but it’s okay because Emma’s here.

“That’s why you didn’t know if I was real,” Emma says quietly, “when we found you. I thought… I thought I’d lost you. That they’d….”

She’s pressed tightly against his side again as he hesitantly shares the story with her.

“I was so scared, Killian.”

“Aye, love. Me too.”

He hadn’t meant to admit that, but he had been terrified. He’d kept it hidden from his captors as best he could but by the end, he knew he was failing. There’s only so much a man can take. And they’d known that, finding his weaknesses and pushing him past his breaking point. For two weeks, he suffered at their hands.

“Focus on your breathing, Killian,” Emma says softly.

He’s shivering, naked against the cold floor, exhausted from the pain yet unable to sleep because of it. His ruined hand feels so unbearably hot that he envisions it may well burst into flames, every involuntary twitch of his broken fingers sending a blazing agony up his arm. And further down his body there’s still the terrible, terrible burning sensation from his captor’s latest game.

“I d-don’t want you to s-see me like this, Emma,” he whispers through chattering teeth, his eyes squeezed shut.

“It’s okay. You know I’m not really here.”

The reminder that he is alone is too much. It’s like a wave of emotion cresting, and crashing into him with immense force, making him want to howl his rage and despair until his lungs are empty. But he only allows a whimper. He won’t give them the satisfaction of knowing how utterly broken he is.

“Just breathe,” not-Emma murmurs, her imaginary fingers on his face close enough to the real thing that Killian feels himself melting into her touch, “Just keep breathing, Killian.”

“It felt so real. I know it wasn’t, but… you helped me to stay sane. I would have lost myself if it weren’t for the image of you at my side.”

The fire is burning low now and the loss of its heat is making him shiver. Emma moves the blanket so it’s resting over both of them, and her hand settles on his left forearm as she burrows closer into his right side, like she can cuddle the fear right out of him. He appreciates the gesture, struggling with the mental distress of releasing the memories from that box in his mind. Of admitting his fears to Emma. And he has barely touched on what they did to him in that cellar. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to, not to Emma.

“I’m sorry it took us so long to find you,” Emma says.

“It’s alright.”

“No, it’s not. We were nearly… we were nearly too late, Killian, you were…”

“Almost gone,” he whispers, staring blankly into the campfire.

When he swallows, he can taste blood, having bitten either his tongue or his lip – he doesn’t know which one – trying to hold back his cries during his last torture session. It hadn’t even helped, not for long enough. His strength is entirely depleted. The pain throughout his body has faded to a dull, miserable sort of ache, that he’s grateful for because it’s better than the fire that had consumed him before. And he realizes distantly that this is it, this is the end. It’s not how he thought he’d go – and he’s thought about it a lot over his too many lifetimes. A quiet, distraught sound escapes his parched throat at the thought that Emma will be too late to save him. He’s not afraid to die, his heart doesn’t ache for himself but for her, how terrible it will be for Emma to find his corpse. How long will it take? But wait, here’s Emma now, her hand gently rubbing at his curved back as he lies there helpless.

“Emma?” His lips move, but he doesn’t think he’s actually spoken aloud.

He doesn’t seem to have the strength for that anymore, but that doesn’t matter. Emma presses her lips against the back of his bare shoulder. He can feel her hair tickling his skin.

“Ssshhh,” she shushes him, “I’m here.”

But she’s not really, he knows that. It’s just his mind playing a trick on him again. But he might as well take the comfort it seems willing to provide in his final hours.

“Hold me, Emma. Please, I want to feel your embrace as I go.”

Not-Emma’s arms slip under him, lifting him effortlessly into her embrace. The motion hurts in a way in shouldn’t because this isn’t real, but he moans weakly anyway.

“It’s okay, Killian. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

It’s hard to breathe, but he knows that won’t matter for much longer. Emma’s fingers move lightly over his cheek, across his jawline, caressing his face as she holds him steady. He feels like he’s floating now, only her touch keeping him from disappearing into nothing. Killian feels immensely grateful for her comfort. He doesn’t bother to open his eyes, content to imagine how she looks, the smile on her face, the kindness in her eyes. The love she has for him is flowing into his body, easing his suffering in his final moments. But his captors come back for him, one more time and he just wants this to be over.

“Just bloody finish it,” he says, and he can tell he’s said it aloud this time by how feeble his voice sounds.

He floats away again and he doesn’t want to come down, but they pull him back, holding his right arm too tightly and he can’t take any more of this, can’t take the pain that he knows is going to overwhelm him in a moment when they aggravate his broken fingers again just for the fun of it. He shakes and writhes and implores for them to stop and he promised himself, he promised Emma they could not break him, but they have. By the gods, they have. But not-Emma is still here somehow, and her touch feels more real than it ever has. She’s never been there during his tortures, only afterwards in his cage, and Killian struggles to focus on her. She looks scared this time and Killian doesn’t like it. He wants desperately to let go, to escape this torment, but she looks so sad he can’t bear to leave her like this. But his body is giving up and he has no choice.

“I’m so sorry, Emma.”

Slowly, the world begins to disappear again. And not-Emma says she’s real now, and he almost believes it. He wants to believe it, that she has really found him, even if she’s come too late to save him. She tells him just to rest, her fingers curled tightly around his shoulder, soothing and steadying. Her permission is all he needs. Killian finally submits to the void that’s been beckoning to him so enticingly, and he doesn’t expect to wake up again.

Emma’s sniffling jolts Killian out of the morbid tale he was telling, his voice monotonous as he tried to distance himself from the event, and he realizes he’s lost some time by the way the fire is only embers now.

“Emma? What’s wrong, love?” he asks with concern, giving his head a quick shake to remove what feels like cobwebs out of his brain.

“S-sorry,” she says weakly, her voice quivering, “I just… I didn’t know how close it actually was. Another few hours and… God, Killian.”

Oh. Oh.

“No, I’m sorry, truly. This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have told you all that.”

He tries to twist away slightly so he can see her face, but she’s holding onto him too tightly. And she’s weeping freely now, sobbing into his shirt. Curse the cricket for this suggestion, it’s only made things worse. And curse Killian too for going along with it.

“Hey, it’s okay, Emma. I’m with you. It’s okay.”

He repeats her own words back to her, the words she’s used for him so frequently of late, when he wakes panicked in the night or finds himself suddenly unable to catch his breath as the memories cloud his mind. His hand rubs at Emma’s back, trying to soothe her, and he wishes, gods, he wishes he had a second hand with which to wipe her tears away. Though he can’t move his left arm at all right now anyway, because she’s clinging onto it like she’ll float away if she doesn’t.

“Sshhh, love, be calm,” he continues, slipping in his own phrases now, folding himself around her as much as he’s able, sheltering her as she falls apart, “We’re okay now. We’re okay. Just breathe, there’s a good girl. Shh, it’s going to be alright, Emma.”

Slowly her body begins to relax in his arms, and after a while she takes a shuddering breath and sits up to scrub away her tears, and grabs a handkerchief from her pocket to blow her nose. Killian pulls the flask of rum from his pocket and pushes it gently into her trembling hands when she’s done.

“Drink up, Swan, and I’ll tend the fire.”

He needs a moment to calm himself as well and placing some more logs on the fire is a perfect excuse to get him the space he needs, and a simple task to ground himself firmly in the present. Emma stares at the flask in her hand with red-rimmed eyes as Killian carefully tends the fire, expertly poking at and blowing on the embers around the new wood he’s placed on it, until it flares back to life, driving away the chill.

“I’m sorry I’m such a mess,” Emma says with a little, self-deprecating sort of laugh, “I’m supposed to be strong, for you. Because I’m fine, you’re the one that was…”

Tortured.

“Hey now, none of that,” Killian says firmly, dropping to one knee in front of her so he can lift her chin and look into her eyes, “You are strong, love, far stronger than I would be in your place. You figured out where I was and you saved me, Emma.”

He takes her hand in his and presses a kiss to the back of it while never breaking eye contact, his lips lingering on her skin as he makes certain she can see in his face how much he means what he’s saying.

“You saved me,” he repeats softly when he finally lifts his mouth again, “I owe you everything. You’re not a mess, Emma, you’re a bloody hero.”

She smiles, hesitant at first but growing wider and then she puts the unopened flask aside in favour of leaning forward to kiss him. He meets her halfway, surging upwards with a bit too much force that accidentally sends Emma toppling backwards off the log with a yelp and Killian falling with her, frantically trying to break their fall without hurting her. He must manage it, because when they make eye contact in this compromising position, Emma’s giggling and Killian can’t help the sound bubbling up his throat too because he’s experienced far too many emotions in such a sort time tonight and he’s feeling a little giddy.

“Sorry, love,” he says, trying to suppress his undignified giggling, “That was…”

But now he’s acutely aware of how close they are, how her hands are clinging to him, and how her thigh is conveniently pressing between his legs. His glee abates as it’s replaced by another feeling – he really, really wants to kiss her again, and deeper this time. And he can barely keep up with all these sensations and he doesn’t even care at this point, his head feeling a little dizzy at the intoxicating nearness of Emma, of her scent and her touch. He wonders if – he hopes – that Emma can feel the heat between them too.

“I’m fine, Killian, it’s fine. Are you-”

He gives in to his body’s urges despite his reservations and swallows the rest of her question, his lips capturing hers and his tongue seeking entrance to her mouth, and she immediately responds in kind, almost hungrier for it than he is. Thank the gods, Killian thinks, because if she hadn’t been in the mood, he would have felt stupid, though he most likely could get her into the mood without much effort. The passion between them builds even higher and Killian is desperate for more. He presumes his eyes possess the same dazed look that Emma’s do as they both take a moment to catch their breath.

“Emma, may I…” Emma waits patiently while he finds the words, find the courage to say what he wants, her hand stilling against his chest. “I want to… I want to make love to you.”

Emma laughs a little, like she always does when he uses that phrase (nobody calls it that anymore, Killian but he’s not quite comfortable using a more vulgar term, not to Emma, she’s too perfect and too good and it would be very bad form to say anything like that in her hearing) but she also blushes slightly, and he can see she’s just as eager for it as he is.

“Okay.”

With a wave of her hand, Emma extinguishes the campfire, and then they can hardly keep their hands off each other as they move to the privacy of their tent. The moment they are inside Killian is overcome with the burning desire to touch more of her skin right now.

“Less clothes,” Killian demands, and Emma grins, pulling her lower lip between her teeth before she starts taking her layers off.

She doesn’t ask him to take his own off, sticking to her promise that she won’t push him, but he wants to. He wants this. He’s tired of being a coward. His fingers hurry to remove his own clothing (and he’s never been more thankful to have the use of those five fingers again than at this precise moment), and in a moment Emma is more or less naked in front of him and he’s in a similar state, at least from the waist up. Now his mouth can explore her newly exposed flesh and he delights in the sounds he can pull from her by doing so. Emma’s hand rests against the back of his head, the other bracing herself, leaning back as he takes what he wants. It’s a slow and tender sort of lovemaking; hands drifting slowly across skin, mouths savouring the taste of the other, hushed words of reverent appreciation, and this is exactly what Killian needs. They take their time, neither in a hurry to go further yet, just enjoying getting lost in the sensations.

“Emma.” Killian is the one to break away, feeling the urgency, the need, beginning to override his uncertainties about what he intends to do.

“What is it?”

Killian’s looking up at Emma’s flushed face as he leans back on his elbows on the mattress, her lips slightly swollen from his earlier attentions, her hair a gloriously wild tangle and the colour bright in her cheeks. He’s taken off the brace and hook because they’re in such tight quarters right now, there’s a high chance his hook would rip the side of their shelter when they really get into it, and it would only take a moment of inattention, the briefest impulse to anchor himself to something, and the flimsy material would be rent right open. He doesn’t need one more thing to be concerned about tonight. Not with what he is about to do. Killian hesitates for a second before he grabs Emma’s hand in his and guides it to his belt buckle – his jeans the only thing he’s still wearing besides his socks and his rings and the charms around his neck.

“Are you sure?” Emma asks, her fingers curling into the waistband at the front of his jeans.

“Yes,” he murmurs, quickly, before he can lose his nerve again, “just… just go slow.”

Her eyes flick back up to his several times, checking on his wellbeing as she slowly releases him from the confines of his trousers. He can feel the memories clawing at the edge of his mind, but he keeps watching her, focuses on the feel of her soft fingers brushing against his skin as he lifts his hips and allows her to tug his jeans down and off. Then it’s over and now Emma’s moving back up his body, taking his face in her hands and gazing into his eyes.

“Still with me?” she asks quietly.

There’s no denying that his body is responding to their activities, but Emma just wants to be certain his mind is on board with it as well, after how badly he reacted last time. She’s good like that.

“Aye, keep going, love.”

And then her hand slips down and there, bloody finally. Killian allows himself to get lost in the sensations for a glorious interval. Emma could easily get him off just like this, she’s done it before, her talented hands and her mouth – oh gods, her mouth, a shudder runs through him at the thought – and he’s strongly tempted to allow her to continue, if he didn’t have another plan for tonight. He needs… He needs.

“Wait,” Killian chokes out, and she stops immediately, looking at him with concern.

“What’s wrong? Is this too much?”

“No. I mean, yes, but… Not for the reasons you think.” He breathes deeply, gathers his wits, and his fortitude. “I don’t want to finish like this, Emma, I want… I want you. I want to be… inside you.”

He’s seconds away from adding a pathetic please because she’s so close to him, but not close enough and his skin is tingling with desire. But before he has to, Emma leans forward and her mouth claims his again, scorching and demanding and keeping him firmly rooted in the present time. When she pulls back, his head spinning a little from how hard she’s kissed him, she slips her arm behind him – sit up, Killian, I want to hold you –and he follows her guidance willingly until he’s sitting on the edge of their camping bed, his heart pounding against his ribs because he knows, he knows how good she will make him feel. Then she’s on him and around him, astride his thighs as she settles onto him. His hand finds its way to the swell of her bare arse, drawing her down, coaxing her to take him in further.

“That’s it, love,” he murmurs, and there’s a shameless moan from the back of his throat as she wraps her legs around his waist, taking him deeper, “Gods, you feel so bloody good, Emma.” Because Emma loves it when he tells her how much he’s appreciating what she’s doing to him – and bloody hell, he is appreciating it. A lot. And she’s barely done anything yet.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” Emma says quietly, her hot breath against his ear sending a shiver of eager anticipation down his spine, “Tell me if you need me to stop, at any time and I will. Okay?”

Killian nods his assent, and slowly she begins to move, murmurs words of praise to him as her fingers bury themselves in the hair at the nape of his neck, her other hand slipping behind his back to hold him close. This position is soft and intimate and wonderful as all his senses become completely immersed in everything Emma. There’s no room for any other feeling, or any other thought. She’s holding onto him as she sets the pace and he’s kissing whatever part of her he can reach, using lips and tongue and teeth the way she likes it and she tastes amazing and he can’t get enough and gods, she is going to drive him insane. He enjoys it rough, sometimes – most times – and Emma always obliges, but tonight she takes him gently, lovingly, carefully, all soft phrases and leisurely movements. And it’s exactly what Killian needs, his fears falling away, this tender coupling the complete opposite to the last time he was at someone’s mercy. And as well as he knows her to work her up, Emma knows how to do the same to him, and despite the slowness of it all Killian finds himself teetering on that edge far quicker than he’d expected. Emma’s quiet moans and gasps as she rides him lets him know she’s not far behind, and he desperately hopes she’s close enough that he won’t leave her unsatisfied.

“Emma… gods, Emma, I’m…” Killian groans, long and loud in the quiet of the forest, his jaw tight as he struggles to keep himself in check. “I’m going to…”

“It’s okay,” she says, strained and tremulous and breathless and still continuing the same steady, relentless pace, “It’s okay. Come for me, Killian.”

“You first, darling,” Killian grits out because damn it, he’s a gentleman.

But he’s too close, he can feel it, he’s not going to be able to hold out. His rhythm is beginning to stutter and he’s losing control. He is wrecked, his endurance is usually better than this and he has to take a moment to breathe, his forehead falling forwards onto Emma’s shoulder. Thankfully Emma seems to take pity on him, for she pauses her motion while he collects himself. Only a moment, but it’s enough. He can tell she’s close, if he could just-

“Right there, yes, oh god Killian,” Emma gasps, pulling harder at his hair, her fingernails scratching lightly against his back, “Don’t stop, please, please, Killian, I’m so close.”

His response is a growl, primal and desperate, her almost frenzied pleas sending him past the point of no return. He has no intention of stopping. Another panted yes and god and then she’s clenching tight around him, his actions bringing her to her peak and his name tumbles from her lips as she shatters and it’s too much and it’s perfect and – and – and he’s there and nothing else matters as they both fall apart.

-/-

No, actually they were ‘coming together’ in every sense of the phrase, is the first thought Killian’s brain has when he’s able to think anything at all again and he snickers into the juncture of Emma’s neck and shoulder as she remains in his arms, equally as blissed out as he is.

“What’s so funny?” she asks, still out of breath, and Killian’s hand slides up the smooth curve of her back.

“Just thinking.”

He lifts his mouth to hers and kisses her deeply, slowly, pouring all his devotion and gratitude into it, only stopping because he wants to be certain Emma knows how much she means to him.

“Emma, you’re a marvel and I love you.”

“Right back at you,” she says, smiling, sparkling eyes even in the dimness of their shelter, a bit of a flush to her cheeks, “That… that was okay, then?”

She looks unsure now, like she’s pushed him further than he was ready for, like she’s broken her promise, and this was what Killian was concerned about – Emma’s insecurities coming to the forefront. He wants those doubts banished from her mind immediately. He brushes some of her wayward hair behind her ear, his touch lingering against her skin, thumb drawing a path along her jawline on the way back.

“It was perfect, love,” he assures her, “You were perfect. You gave me everything I asked for. And… I hope my performance was satisfactory as well?”

A smirk punctuates his salacious question, a little lift of his left eyebrow and there, the uncertainty is gone from Emma’s face like it never existed, replaced with a rather coy smile that Killian much prefers.

“Very.”

They move, eventually, lying down side by side on the mattress and they remain like that, sharing gentle affections and whispered adoration, for quite some time, until the mood gradually changes to something needy once more. Killian moves over the top of her and smiles wickedly, enjoying the way Emma’s breathing has quickened already before he’s even begun, because now it’s his turn to be in control, and she knows very well what his intentions are. It’s time to repay his beautiful Swan for the pleasure she bestowed upon him.

to be continued...

#comfortember 2020 #cs ff #cs fic #cs smut #only in this chapter though #hurt/comfort #whump #killian jones #emma swan #captain swan #my fanfics

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zutaralover94 · 4 years

Text

Prompt #5 Request

This is for you anons! And for @dangerouspersonllamabagel and for @beealexageek

Once upon a time I said I would never write this but here it is!

Read below or Read on AO3 (hopefully I can post on Fanfic soon. Still dealing with those flags!)

Tags: One Night Stands, Pregnant AU, Roommates, Pining, More Pining on Zuko’s half, but Mutual Pining, Rated M, there is a dabble of smut, and a handful of cursing, mentions of the series ‘The Untamed’ and ‘The Office’, Anyone see the Friends inspiration?, I rewrote this more times than I’d like to admit.

Katara woke up with a huge headache. She rolled over and rubbed her face into the warm pillow. There was a groan above her, and she shot up in bed. She looked over to see someone sleeping next to her. She let out a scream before grasping her head in pain. Her eyes closed and she put her head down to her bent knees. There was another groan and the someone sat up next to her. Katara rubbed at her eyes. “Shit.”

“I agree.”

Katara turned to the familiar voice, “Oh fuck.”

Zuko blinked multiple times and then turned to her. “Oh fuck.”

Katara looked down to Zuko’s shirt and sighed, “Oh, thank God.” Katara moved out of the bed pulling the strap of her bra up onto her shoulder. “For a second there I thought we, you know-.” She ended her sentence with a soft laugh and then held her head as she stood up. “Whew,” Katara began pulling on her things from the night before. “I’m going to head downstairs. I’ve got to get something for this headache.”

Zuko patted at his bare thighs and found his boxers thrown over the hotel’s desk chair in the corner. He did his best to be calm as he searches through his non-existent memories to see if anything had happened last night. But he’s fairly sure if anything did happen with Katara, even if someone brainwashed him, that he would remember in an instant.

+++

Three weeks later, Katara groaned as she felt her stomach lurch again. Stupid Sokka and his dumb chicken parm. Katara leaned over the toilet bowl yet again. She dry heaved and cried a little when nothing came up.

“Woah, are you sick?” Sokka pushed open the door. His face screwed up as Katara dry heaved over the bowl again.

“Yes,” Katara whined. “Your stupid chicken parm made me sick.” She leaned back and rested her head on the cool tub.

“That can’t be it.” Sokka poked Katara in the forehead. “Both Suki and I are feeling fine. What are you pregnant?”

“Ha!” Katara burst out a laugh and pushed Sokka away. But then it hit her with another wave of nausea. Have I had a period this month? Katara wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She mentally started counting backwards. And when she got to day 40, she started over again.

“Kat?” Sokka poked Katara again with a much more serious face. He handed her a glass of water. “I was kidding. I know you’re not seeing anyone.”

“Haha,” Katara gave a weak laugh. “Right.” She took a sip of water before laying her head back on the bathtub again.

Maybe she was just late.

+++

Two weeks later and many trips to the bathroom all but confirmed that she wasn’t just late. Katara bit her lip as she shopped through at-home pregnancy tests. She had done her research and was pretty sure which one to get. But standing in the aisle by herself was causing a queasy feeling. (That was not a morning sickness feeling. She knew the difference now.) Katara grabbed the one that had the highest ratings and another one just in case.

When she got home, she held the bag close to her and looked around the apartment. Most everyone was at work. Katara had called in with a stomach bug. She wasn’t too sure how long she could keep using that excuse. Joo Dee was becoming more and more suspicious.

She was almost too nervous to pee. Her hand kept shaking and her stomach was in so many knots. Katara was positive she knew the answer to this test. She was never late and never sick. She was as healthy and regular as any girl could be. Even so much Suki made fun of her.

Katara sat the test on the counter and sat down on the floor. She sighed as she looked around the small bathroom. She reached over for an old magazine in the bin beside the toilet. It was definitely dated but it would keep her mind busy for a few minutes.

Or so she thought. She got through one article about boob reductions before she grew bored and put the magazine in the trash can. Katara stood and leaned over the test but there was still no answer. She took down one towel and began refolding it. Then the next and the next. She put them back in color order making a very small rainbow on the shelf.

Katara froze as she heard the front door open and close.

“Kat?”

She took a deep breath in at the sound of Suki’s voice. Her hands on her stomach and she exited the bathroom with a fake smile. “Hey Suki!”

Suki gave her a strange look, “Did you stay home again?”

“No,” Katara said a little too quickly as she waved her hand as if to be nonchalant. “I, uh, took an early lunch and decided to come home and eat.”

“Oh,” Suki nodded and grabbed her lunch from the fridge and sat down at the table. “That’s good. I was a little worried when I saw your car that you decided to stay home again.”

“Nope,” Katara went to the fridge and realized it was pretty much empty, except for the case of beer, wine coolers and about three boxes of some sort of take out. Katara bit back a wave of nausea and quickly closed the refrigerator door. “You know what I think maybe I’ll just take a nap.”

Suki squinted at her, “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Katara smiled over to her friend and hoped it look convincing.

“Okay, well I’m going to finish this and go. I hope you have a nice nap.” Suki followed her with still squinting eyes to her bedroom.

“Okay, have a great rest of your day!” Katara said cheerfully as she opened and closed her bedroom door.

Katara blew out a breath as she laid on her bed. She closed her eyes for just a moment. Not realizing how tired she was.

It was only twelve minutes later that Suki burst into Katara’s room. “Your PREGNANT!”

“Huh?” Katara rolled over and faced Suki. She rubbed her eyes as Suki held out a white stick.

“What-? Who?!” Suki pushed the stick further at Katara.

Katara blinked a few times before looking at the stick clearly. Two lines stared back at her. She sat up slowly and looked at the two little pink lines for a few more seconds. “I’m pregnant.”

“Yeah!” Suki nodded and handed her the stick. “Aren’t you happy?”

Katara sat there stunned after taking the stick from Suki. Of course. But… “Yeah.”

Suki sat on the bed, “So that’s why you’ve been so sick. You’re never sick.”

Katara only nodded. I’m pregnant. She placed a hand on her stomach. I’m going to be a mother. Katara’s other hand slapped to her forehead. Oh, fuck! I am going to be a MOM.

“Kat?” Suki nudged her best friend. “Kat!” She pulled the hand away from her head. “Katara! Babe! Woohoo!”

Katara blinked back at her friend. “I’m going to be a mother.” Suki’s smile was bright as she nodded. “I have no idea how to be a mom!”

“What?” Suki sat back but still held on to Katara’s hand. “It’s okay. They say it just comes to you. Plus, you’ve been mothering the Gaang since we were like 12. You’ll be great!”

Katara’s thumb brushed over the non-existent baby bump. “I’m pregnant.” She whispered again and looked down at hers and Suki’s hands. “What am I going to do?”

“What do you mean what are you going to do?” Suki squeezed Katara’s hand. “You’ve always said that you wanted kids.”

“I’ve also said I want to lick whip cream off of half the cast of ‘The Untamed’!” Katara countered.

“Yeah, but that’s like not something obtainable.” Suki shook her head with a small laugh.

“And being pregnant with no idea who the father is or how I’m even freaking pregnant,” Katara pulled from Suki and stood up. “I always thought I’d be married with a steady job first. Hell, being in a relationship would be a step above this!”

“Wait,” Suki stood up too. “You don’t know who the father is?”

Katara bit her lip and shook her head. She had run through everyone she had been with in the past three months. Even though she really only needed to know who she’s slept with in the last month. But even then, Katara couldn’t think of a soul.

Tears started gathering in her eyes again. If she didn’t even know who the father was, how was she supposed to raise the child? Katara wiped at her eyes. She was just going to have to think harder.

“Kat, calm down.” Suki put her hands on her cheeks. “Hey, look at me.” She gave a smile that calmed her slightly. “We don’t need to know who the father is. You’ve got me and Sokka and Zuko and Toph and Aang and Uncle Iroh.” Katara gave a hiccup and a smile at all the names Suki started rattling off. “That’s plenty of people to look after Peanut.”

“We are not calling my baby Peanut.” Katara said with a serious face.

Suki held up her hands and backed away, “Okay, deal.” They stood there for a few minutes before Suki wrapped Katara up in a hug. “I’m so happy for you! You’re going to be a great mom!”

Katara hugged her best friend back. She was quiet for a few minutes before whispering, “I’m going to be a mom.”

“Yeah,” Suki patted her back. “So, how long have you known? Or thought you knew?”

“It’s been about a month now.” Katara pulled back and sat back down on the bed. “You remember when I first started getting sick two weeks ago?”

“Yeah,” Suki nodded.

“I’m pretty sure I knew then. But what I can’t figure out is like a week or two before that. Where was I? What did I do?” Katara rubbed at her head. “I remember Mai’s and Ty Lee’s wedding was about that long ago. But I didn’t hook up with anyone at their wedding. Or at their bachelorette party. Or any other events like that.” She looked over to Suki. “The last guy I slept with was Haru and that was what six months ago now?”

“Oh, I did always like him.” Suki nodded and then shook her head when Katara gave her a look. “So, there is no one else? You didn’t go partying without me, did you?”

“No,” Katara looked around her room. “See, this is what I mean… How am I supposed to be a mom if I can’t remember someone I’ve slept with in the past-?”

There was a flash of heated skin and dark hair in her mind’s eye.

Katara’s ankles were hooked around a strong body. Her fingernails scrapping over one pectoral while the others dug into a right shoulder blade. Her teeth sunk into pale skin and sucked. A strong buck of hips caused her to release her teeth and her head fall back in a loud moan. “Oh, my! Do that again! More!”

And more she got. Katara was hot and she ran her hands up the body to his long black strands that stuck to his sweating face. She pushed back the bangs in his golden eyes.

“Oh, FU-UH-CK!”

“Zuko.” Katara whispered as a blush rose up her neck.

“Huh?” Suki blinked at her with confusion.

“We slept together.” Katara whispered. Then groaned as more very detailed memories came back to her from their drunken escapades after Mai’s and Ty Lee’s wedding. “We, fuck.” Katara closed her eyes but was only met with Zuko’s golden eyes practically glowing with desire. “We woke up the night after the wedding in bed together. We still had on clothing, so I thought... “Katara’s eyes popped back open to see Suki gaping down at her.

“Zuko?”

“Yeah.” Katara sat up and ran a hand through her hair.

“Our roommate, Zuko? Your brother’s best friend? That Zuko?” Suki asked leaning forward with each question. Katara nodded. “The Zuko that gave you your first kiss? Zuko, the one that froze our bras when we were 15? Zuko?”

“Yes!” Katara nodded and then covered her face. “Yes, yes, yes, yes. That Zuko. The one and only Zuko we know! It’s not like he is a Lee. We know a million of Lees.”

“Kat,” Suki put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re sure?”

“I can’t think of another male that I have been in a horizontal position within the past two months.” Katara let out the biggest sigh she had ever in her life. She put her hands back on her stomach. “What if he doesn’t want it?”

“Zuko?” Suki asked with skeptic look.

“How many times are you going to say his name like a question?”

Suki huffed and crossed her arms, “I’m pretty sure Zuko will-,”

“Let’s not tell him.” Katara interrupted.

“be ecstatic.” Suki’s arms dropped, “What do you mean ‘Not tell him’?”

“I’m not going to tell him and since you are the only other person-,”

“You should definitely tell him.”

“That knows. You will not tell him either.” Katara pointed at Suki. “Got it?”

“Like ever?” Suki tilted her head and looked down at Katara’s abdomen, “You know that when the kid comes, he’ll probably know.”

“What? How?”

“Genetics.” Suki stated plainly.

“Right,” Katara stood back up again and paced to the other side of her room. “Then we won’t tell him or anyone until absolutely necessary. No one can know. Okay? Deal?”

“Katara…”

“Deal?” Katara walked back to her with her pinky finger out.

Suki sighed and held out her pinky. She yanked it back right before Katara curled it around hers. “But just so it’s on the record. I think you should tell him.” Katara rolled her eyes and hooked her pinky around Suki’s.

+++

Five months later, Katara rubbed her stomach as she munched on another small bag of pretzels. She watched as Sokka and Suki pulled out outfit after outfit from the rack. Katara had only shaken her head to pretty much every single garment. She wondered how long it would take them to realize she was doing it on purpose.

Zuko walked up to her shaking his head as he passed her a white grape juice water, “You know you’re just going to reap what you are sowing when they have a kid?”

Katara gave a soft laugh as she wiped off her fingers on her top. “I don’t know what you mean, ZuZu.”

Zuko just chuckled and passed her the opened water bottle. “Have you decided which bedding set?” Zuko picked up a package with little yellow ducks. “I heard you have to buy a whole bunch of them and put them down like all on at once. So, when Baby Peanut has an explosion in the middle of the night, you just have to take off one layer and not redo the whole bed.”

“I’m still upset that caught on,” Katara mumbled into her water bottle.

Zuko gave a smile, “Ducks or Turtles?” He held up two packages of bedding.

Katara looked them both over, “Both?”

Zuko nodded and placed them both in the buggy. “Both is good.” He pushed the cart down the next aisle. But Katara hadn’t moved.

She pressed her hand again to where she thought she felt something. Alarm bells went off in her head and she looked around. “Zuko?” Was something wrong with the baby?

Zuko was back to her in a blink hearing the shake in her voice, “What’s wrong?” Zuko looked down to where Katara was pressing a hand to her stomach. “Is something wrong with the baby?”

“I-I don’t know.” Katara smoothed her hand over the spot again. And felt the little push again. “Oh my God!” Katara pulled her hand away with a gasp. “Oh, my God!” She put her hand back over where she felt the kick or punch or whatever the baby was doing. “She kicked! She!”

Katara grabbed Zuko’s hand and placed it on her stomach. The baby gave two swift kicks to Zuko’s hand. “Woah!” Zuko pulled his hand back and then broke out into a smile. He put his hand back. His fingers were overlapping Katara’s as he felt the baby move. “She’s moving.”

“I know.” Katara laughed and looked up to Zuko. His golden eyes were so wide with surprise but also looked happy.

Katara hoped Baby Peanut would come out just like her dad. Happy.

+++

It wasn’t until they were cleaning up the baby shower two months later that Zuko asked.

“So, did the father come today?”

Katara paused while shoving a forkful of cake in her mouth. She bit down only if to have her mouthful, so she didn’t have to reply immediately. Zuko took down another row of lights as he waited. He glanced over at her often. Katara licked the fork clean, still trying to decide if she should lie or not. “Uh, yeah. Why?”

“Oh,” Katara watched his shoulders drop a little. But then come back up as he reached for another set of lights. He turned his back to her, “No reason. Just wanted to know if the father would be around a lot and if we are going to get along with him okay. Is he going to be around a lot?”

Katara swallowed and took another bite of cake as Zuko looked over his shoulder at her. Katara held up her finger as she slowly chewed. She looked down at her plate that only had maybe two other bites.

“Bye, Katara! I’m really happy for you.” Joo Dee came over and gave her a short hug. “I can’t wait to see the little one. Bring her in as soon as you can. I know the whole office will be so excited.”

Katara nodded and finished her bite. “I will. Thank you for coming.”

Joo Dee patted her head before leaving. Zuko cleared his throat, as if to remind Katara that he was still here and still waiting for an answer.

“I’m,” Katara licked her lips. “I’m not sure.” She whispered.

“Oh,” Zuko said again and began rolling up the lights.

Katara hissed and placed a hand over where the baby was pushing hard against her side. She winced and moved to be a little more comfortable. Zuko was to her in a few seconds, worry clear on his face. “I’m okay.” Katara pushed Zuko’s hands away that had reached for her side. “I’m fine. She’s just squishing my everything.”

Zuko sat back on his heels. Katara tried to ignore the small flash of hurt in his eyes. He schooled his face and then rose, picking up the string of lights he had dropped. Zuko and her were quiet for some time. Katara finished off the cake and watched Zuko climb up and down the small step ladder as he took down lights.

“Are you still free tomorrow and maybe Monday night to help me take back all the double gifts?” Katara asked to break the uncomfortable silence.

“Sure, if you need me.” Zuko shrugged as he rolled up the last string of lights. The streetlights and some small outside lights still lit Azula’s backyard enough that Katara could see Zuko’s facial expressions. It looked a little agitated, but his emotions were blocked off.

That was one thing she was hoping the baby didn’t inherit. Her father’s skill of turning off emotions. Even after all these years, he could wrap up his emotions with practically a flip of a switch.

“I mean, you don’t have to go.” Katara crossed her arms.

“Why don’t you ask the father to go? Huh?” Zuko turned around to her, dropping the string of lights in a box.

“What is up with you and asking about the father all of the sudden?” Katara tried to stand up swiftly but realized it’s a lot harder being eight months pregnant. Zuko moved to help her and once she was on her feet she slapped at his hands. “Stop. I’m fine. Thank you.” Zuko backed up with his hands raised in surrender. “I just know we had already talked about going back to get that changing table I actually wanted.”

“Yeah, we can do that.” Zuko shoved his hands into his pockets. “Just figured maybe during this last month, you might want to spend some more time with the father. Since this whole time, you’ve really only spent it with us.”

Guilt filled Katara’s stomach, she rubbed her hand over the swell right below her boobs. “I think he would be fine with us returning stuff.” She paused her hand over where the baby’s toes were pushing against her ribs. “I think we can do all that boring stuff.”

Zuko sighed and turned to pick up the box of lights. “If the father is around as much now as he is around when this baby is born. The baby will end up calling me dad. And wouldn’t that be awkward.”

You have no idea. Katara patted her belly with a laugh and walked (more like waddled) behind Zuko back into the house.

+++

It was one week before her due date that The Secret spilled.

“Me?!” Zuko yelled as he and Katara stood toe to toe in the nearly finished nursery. Zuko was holding a piece of the new changing table.

“Yes, you.” Katara had her arms crossed over her chest. “Who else?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Zuko crossed his arms over his chest. “It could have been anyone at this point!”

Katara huffed and unfolded the directions. “But it definitely has to be you.”

Suki popped her head in after just arriving home from work. “Hey guys!”

Katara gave a smile and then rolled her eyes.

“I just don’t see how it’s possible, I’m the only guy-.”

“Oh, you told him!” Suki burst further into the room. She hugged Katara from the side and gave a little squeal. “I’m so happy you finally told! I thought for sure I was going to tell! You know back when you finally told everyone about the pregnancy, I was sure you were going to tell him then. But then I remembered you really didn’t want him to find out. So, two weeks ago at the baby shower. I thought ‘Oh, wouldn’t it be cute if she told him- ‘,”

It took Katara’s fogged up pregnancy brain too long to shove a hand over Suki’s mouth. “Yes, I told Zuko that he had to help me finish the baby room. He is the only one I know that could put this together.” Katara hissed through her teeth.

Zuko looked between the two girls. As Suki blinked a few times and pulled back. “So, you still didn’t tell him?” She almost looked sad.

“Yes, I did tell him.” Katara glared at her best friend. “That I needed his help with building the changing table.”

“Right,” Suki gave finger guns with a slightly guilty face. “Wow, awkward. I’m going to go cook dinner. I’m thinking something spicy. What do you think, Kat?” Suki started making her way to the door. “Pad Thai? Enchiladas? Oh, ramen?” Suki closed the door without an answer. A few seconds later. Katara and Zuko heard the front door close too.

“What was she talking about?”

“Nothing,” Katara looked back down at the instructions. “I swear sometimes I think it’s her that has the pregnancy brain.” She gave a short laugh. “Now we should probably sort-, Hey!”

Zuko took the instructions from Katara. “What was she talking about, Katara?”

Katara ran her hands over her belly. “I think my water broke?”

Zuko gave her an unimpressed look, “You’re not going to ‘Office’ your way out of this. What was she talking about? She seemed way too happy that I was putting together a dumb changing table.”

“You know how us girls are, we get excited about anything baby.” Katara gave a small smile and tried to shrug of the conversation.

Zuko only shook his head, “Look, I’m happy to help. But I want to know what she was talking about. You didn’t even know what color the room was going to be until you were what six months along? So, how would you know to tell me to build this changing table back when you first told us you were pregnant?”

Katara just stood there running her hands over her pregnant belly. Baby Peanut moved around slightly and Katara could feel the little hiccups. Katara looked around the room. There wasn’t really an escape. “She wasn’t talking about just the changing table she was also talking abo-.”

Zuko sighed and sat down the pieces of the changing table and the instructions. “Okay.” He looked Katara over and then began to walk out. “I’m going to go find Suki. I think enchiladas would be better than Pad Thai.”

“Zuko, wait.” Katara reached out for him as he reached the door to the baby room.

“Why? So, you can stand there and lie to me some more?” Zuko opened the door to the living room. “Because I don’t want to do that.”

Katara followed him, “Zuko…”

“No, Katara.” Zuko looked around for his keys and wallet. “I feel like all you’ve done this whole time is lie.”

“I haven’t lied about a single thing!” Katara crossed her arms over her chest in defense.

Zuko scoffed, “Right. Then what was Suki really talking about?” Katara’s arms dropped and her mouth opened but closed again. “Exactly. Do you want two chicken or do you want a spinach one this-.”

“You’re the father.”

“What?”

“I said I wanted two chicken enchiladas and a cup of spicy ramen?” Katara bit her lip.

“No, you didn’t.” Zuko shook his head at her. “You said, I’m- ha. I’m the-.”

“Father, yeah.” The smile she was holding back cracked when Zuko’s bloomed on his face. “That’s what Suki- Mmph!”

Zuko’s lips were on hers. The kiss was surprisingly soft and Zuko wrapped his arms around Katara. When Zuko pulled back, Katara’s lips chased after his. She reached up and pulled his face back down to hers. They stood there kissing for a few moments until Peanut decided to start kicking. Zuko stepped back with the largest smile on his face.

“I’m going to be a dad.” Katara nodded with a big smile too. Zuko’s hands ran over Katara’s belly. “I’m going to be a-. We’re going to be parents. Holy Shi-zues and pekingeses.”

“Nice save.” Katara laughed and placed her hand over Zuko’s. Zuko took her hand and kissed it.

“Agni, I wish you would have told me sooner.” Zuko ran his thumb over her knuckles before kissing them again.

“Why?” Katara gave a small laugh.

“I don’t know. Maybe so I could have enjoyed this pregnancy longer. Instead of being jealous of some stupid jerk that hadn’t been there for any of the important parts.” Zuko shrugged. “Wait.” Katara hummed. “How do you know that stupid jerk is me?”

“You remember the night of Mai’s and Ty Lee’s wedding? When we got super drunk and we woke up the next morning in bed together?”

Zuko vaguely remembers having to grab his boxers from across the room after Katara had crawled out of bed. “And so, you’re sure…”

“Yes, I haven’t been in bed with a male since way before that.” Katara gave a small laugh. “Plus, I kind of remember bits of that night. It was pretty hot. It got me through my horny months.”

“Oh?” Zuko wiggled his eyebrows. Katara gave his arm a little smack. Only for Zuko to gather Katara up in his arms again. “I’m going to be a dad.”

Katara wrapped her arms the best she could around Zuko. “Yeah, you oh-,” Katara clutched at Zuko’s shirt. Katara felt a gush of wetness run down her leg. “Uh, I got to go to the bathroom.”

“Oh,” Zuko stepped back and helped walk her to the bathroom.

“It’s okay. I just didn’t realize I had to go.” Katara patted Zuko’s arm and closed the door. Once she was finished, she joined Suki and Zuko on the couch. Suki had come back with boxes and boxes of take out containers. Her stomach gave a twinge and Katara hissed. She waved Suki and Zuko to continue their conversation.

“So, she finally told me.” Zuko said as he opened another container for Katara. “And I kissed her.”

“Ow!” Katara grabbed at her lower stomach. “Okay that hurt. Sorry. You were saying.” Katara moved to get comfortable again, but her back began to ache and her stomach cramped. She hissed and ran her hand over her stomach. “Sorry, go ahead.”

Suki and Zuko gave her a strange look, “You kissed her?” Suki asked after a second. She watched Katara take a bite of her noodles.

Zuko looked Katara over as she winced while eating, “Are you in labor?”

Suki’s eyes got wide and sat down her fork, “Oh my God she is in labor!”

“I’m what?” Katara groaned as a large wave of pain hit her. “No, remember I’ve had these before.” She patted Zuko on the arm. “I’m fine. What were we saying?”

“We were talking about how you told him, and he kissed you. What does that mean? Are you guys like togeth-,” Suki looked between Zuko and Katara.

“Okay. Ow!” Zuko pulled his arm away from where Katara’s nails had begun to dig in. “Why don’t we just take you down to the hospital?”

“Cause, I’m not in la-.” Katara moved again and felt the need to poop again. “I’m not in labor. I just need to go to the bathroom. Help me back up.” Zuko looked over to Suki before helping Katara up. Katara groaned in pain as she stood. “Maybe get some Tylenol too?”

Suki shook her head, “How about an epidural?”

Katara paused and looked over at her. “No, I’m fi-.” Katara whined. “Okay, maybe we should.”

+++

“Here she is,” The doctor laid the fresh pink baby over on Katara’s shoulder. Katara began bawling and Zuko kissed Katara’s forehead. He reached out for the little crying baby. He held onto Katara’s hand as she touched the baby’s foot. “Alright, we’re going to wash her off and check a few things and then we’ll do some skin to skin time. Okay?”

Katara bubbled out an ‘Okay’ and held onto Zuko’s hand harder. A nurse came by and began helping Katara clean up. They turned out some of the lights before handing the baby over to Katara.

“Oh, my Spirits she is so precious.” Katara whispered and ran her hand down her baby’s back. “And beautiful. Oh, my God. I want to keep her.”

Zuko chuckled and kissed Katara’s forehead again. “You do get to keep her, I promise.”

“Don’t make fun of me,” Katara said in between tears.

“I’m not, ‘Tara.” Zuko’s face didn’t fall from the large smile.

“Oh,” Katara whispered and kissed her baby’s head. “That little sigh. Zuko, I love her.”

Zuko rubbed Katara’s arm, “I love her, too.” Zuko sighed and after a moment continued, “I love both of you.”

“I love you too.” Katara leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Her eyelashes were still wet with tears. “Zuko?”

“Hmm?” He raised a hand to brush hairs from her face.

“I still don’t know her name.” Katara opened her eyes with a little pout. “I’ve just been calling her Peanut like the rest of you.”

Zuko did his best not to laugh, “You’ve got time.”

“But her birth record will show Baby Girl.” Katara pouted more. “I don’t want her to just be Baby Girl.”

“Then what do you want to name her?”

“I don’t know.” More tears started to well in Katara’s eyes.

“How about Peanut?” Zuko joked. But realized that this was not a joking matter as Katara’s blue eyes turned an icy glare at him. “Okay, not Peanut.” Zuko looked around for a minute. They hadn’t looked through any baby naming books. Zuko thought Katara already had one picked out. “What about Hope?”

“No, my godchild’s name is Hope.” Katara waved off the idea. “Next?”

“Uh, Patricia?” Zuko thought he remembered hearing that name somewhere…

“You want to name our baby after our birthing coach?” Katara raised an eyebrow at him.

“No,” Zuko shook his head. “Da-Shoot, this is harder than it looks.”

They were both quiet for a moment. Both working through a list of names. Katara sighed as Zuko’s fingers continued to run through her hair. The soft strokes made her want to dose off. But she knew someone would probably be in to collect their baby soon. Then she could sleep. Maybe she should make Zuko stay with her if only to have him continue running his fingers through her hair.

“What about Zara?” Zuko asked and Katara hummed.

She rolled the name around in her mind a few times, “Zara.” Like Zuko and Katara put together. “I like it.” Katara brushed a hand over the baby’s head, “Zara.”

+++

Two years later and Zuko is trying to take the curlers from Zara’s dark brown hair. “Katara! Hurry up or this flower girl won’t make it to the wedding!”

“Really?” Katara stepped from their room with a diaper bag and her hair still in curlers.

“What?” Zuko smiled up to her. “You know Suki will be mad if you show up late.”

“Oh, like her and Sokka did at ours?” Katara raised an eyebrow. “I believe you told me once ‘you reap what you sow.’? I think that they are doing just that.”

Zuko chuckled and stood up with Zara in his arms. He leaned over and kissed his wife on her freshly painted lip. “Love you.”

“Mhmm,” Katara took out Zara’s last curler. “Now, let’s go because you’re right. She really will be mad if we are late.”

#zutara #zutara fanfiction #unplanned pregnancy #mutual pining #thanks for the request #oh and they were roommates

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pertinax--loculos · 3 years

Text

Update

Gonna try a new thing. I've seen these weekly updates from other writeblrs and it appeals to me because I can blather about writing or lack of writing (if it's been one of Those weeks), I can also include anything else I want, and it's a manageable goal to have for a start.

Tentatively breaking it up into writing, reading OR watching, real life (if applicable), and possibly excerpt (again, if applicable).

So! (Warning: This is long. I seriously babble like nothing else.)

Currently Writing Absent That Night (tagged: WIP: ATN)

wordcount: no clue, it's all on my phone and I've been writing scenes I'd previously written snippets for, so it's a mash-up. (Which reminds me I need to back it all up at least onto my computer.)

Proud of the short summary I did for my pinned post, so repeating it here:

Agent Latrell has been chasing the thief known as Nox for more than three years; but when bodies start turning up at his crime scenes, he’s the only one who believes Nox isn’t responsible. Unfortunately, he’s also the only other suspect. In order to clear his name, he’s going to have to find the real killer; and the only way to do that is to team up with a criminal who, it turns out, he knows absolutely nothing about.

still love love LOVING this WIP. I've got pages and pages of notes, and it is probably getting a wee bit too complex with subplots and suspects etc, but I'm an overwriter anyway so if I end up with a 200k word draft then shrug. More to work with

dunno if I mentioned or just thought it was obvious because I know it so well, but it has an enemies/rivals-to-allies(lovers?) (sub?)plot. So I've been pulling out a lot of threads there

technically I'm up to about halfway between the catalyst and break into two. Definitely not hardcore plotting but I do have an idea of the beats I wanna follow in the back of my head

Nox is still a fucking mess. I should probably stop piling trauma onto him, poor guy

my favourite creation this week is Mark Gault, who is a secondary/minor character who is amazing in every way. He is both essentially a ruthless mercenary and the "I LOVE MY WIFE" guy. (I also keep calling him Grant, instead of Mark, because he's actually the father of a character who first appears in Phase Two of CASCADE. (!!!))

basically happy with how it's all going this week. Regular writing is getting the juices flowing and it's easier to come up with ideas even when I've only got a vague notion of what is supposed to happen in the scene.

guys i am such an overwriter this is ridiculous please send help this scene was supposed to be like 2.5k total and it's turned into 4-5 scenes and is like 10k long dear god--

Currently Reading Blue Lily, Lily Blue by Maggie Stiefvater, book three of the Raven Cycle

I have not just jumped in at book three of a series, I have read the previous two.

in the last week.

I've read eleven books in the last five weeks, so that's... something.

they have all been thrillers except for this series. (And also Girl One, which despite being marketed as a thriller was definitively NOT a thriller. Which, yes, I should've guessed from the tag line, but I'm still mad about it.)

I am in love with the prose. It feels similar to mine, but Better, and I have been unconsciously mimicking it.

(which may be a problem when I finish it and am still writing ATN, but that is an issue for Future Pockets)

ngl I was not a fan of the way the first book ended. Not only did I have to reread the final line multiple times in order to even begin to grasp it, but I kinda think it's a dick move to end on a cliffhanger, even for an established author and clear indications this was gonna be a series

(but you bought the next book, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU??)

very very much enjoying the series, to be concise (ha!). Love the characters and it's all pretty tightly paced. The overarching series arc kiiinda maybe feels a bit slow/irrelevant, and some of the motivations annoy me, but I keep reminding myself it's YA in which the motivations are in character, so

not far into this one yet but so far so good

I wrote this earlier this week and since have begun thinking the series arc is becoming more relevant, but am reserving judgement. Reading slower with work and reading but still enjoying it all

Real Life

continues to be mostly a pain in the ass. Apps in for a second job, research on next year ongoing

update: may have the dream second job, basically waiting for confirmation (fingers crossed!)

one of my housemates is the literal devil, although even that is being quite kind to her. The nice one is moving out because of it. People keep asking how I've lived in this house for three years. I have no answer.

enjoying writing time in evenings and feeling mentally pretty good thanks to exercise

Excerpt Long, nearly 900 words, but a favourite of recent pieces and also something I coincidentally wrote today. Nox and Latrell's third meeting, when Latrell is still, uh... resistant to the idea of working with him:

"Why me?" Not at all the way Latrell had intended to phrase it, but he couldn't take it back. He continued, quickly, instead, jumbled thoughts pouring out of his mouth. "Surely that's the least you can give me. You come to me and ask me to fucking help you after you've made the last three months of my life living hell, you can at least fucking tell me why the fuck that is. You owe me that much. I'm not letting you fucking walk away until you fucking answer me that."

Nox was silent for a long moment. He ran a calculating gaze up and down Latrell, as if searching for something; it wasn't apparent whether or not he'd found it when he said, softly, "And if I don't?"

Latrell was abruptly very aware of the weight of the handcuffs in his back pocket. He would have to move quickly. There was every possibility Nox would see this coming, especially if he'd been arrested before. But Latrell was quietly confident. He inched his hand back, keeping it subtle, eyes on Nox's face.

"In that case," he said, as evenly as he could. His fingertips brushed warm metal. "Perhaps we should try something--"

Everything went white.

For a moment Latrell thought he'd somehow lost consciousness; that he'd underestimated Nox's affinity for violence, that the man had punched him or otherwise managed to incapacitate him without otherwise moving. Then it occurred to him that he was still thinking, which essentially took unconsciousness off the table, and he realised, vaguely, that it was an illusion.

It was very, very convincing.

The entire world was an endless expanse of emptiness. Utterly, absolutely white, a whiteness that could not and should not exist. Latrell was overcome by a sensation of falling, of plummeting into nothingness; he had to concentrate to feel his feet still on the ground, to know he was still upright. He had nothing to orient himself. There was no up, no down, no left or right. Just that endless expanse of a lack of colour. He was hanging in nothingness, or everything.

"You forget who you are dealing with, Agent."

Latrell swallowed down nausea. Nox's voice came from startlingly close, the sound of it somehow wrong, which objectively he knew came from the fact that his brain was convinced it should sound small and insubstantial in this endless void but it sounded normal because he was actually still standing in the alley. It was academic knowledge only. He still felt like he was tipping or falling or rising, weightless and disoriented. He had no voice, no ability to open his mouth.

Experimentally he tried to take a step. He couldn't lift his foot off the ground. Physically, he was sure he could -- he could still twitch his fingers, if he thought about it -- but his mind was convinced that there was nothing to step away from, nothing to step onto. Just nothing, nothing, nothing. A brightness that wasn't a light, a void constructed of the pieces between atoms.

Nox's voice came from his other side this time. "I have attempted to do this civilly, but there are other options."

It was a struggle to concentrate on his words, close as they were. Latrell tried to narrow his focus to only sound, tried to ignore the nothingness he was suspended in, tried to tell himself it was all an illusion. Just something Nox wanted him to see. The Orn, threaded through his eyes or brain or soul, acting upon Nox's orders.

It didn't help. He was still in freefall.

"Do not," Nox's voice came, a bare whisper in his ear, breath brushing Latrell's neck, "Presume to test me."

Abruptly the white disappeared. Latrell was back in the alley, trying to adjust to the change of light, trying to find where Nox had gone. Turning his head made the ground roil beneath him and he staggered, utterly disoriented.

Fingers closed around his forearm, steadying him, and Latrell looked up to find Nox inches away.

"Easy, Agent," he purred. His smile was more a baring of his teeth.

Latrell wrenched away from him, staggering until his back connected with a comfortingly solid wall. He was dizzy, brain still adjusting to reality, but he managed to straighten his spine and set his shoulders. He kept his hands in front of him. In Nox's view.

"Do we have an understanding?" Nox said, still silky and low.

"Screw you," Latrell said, voice faint and alien.

Nox's smirk sharpened. "I thought so. Lovely chat, Agent Latrell." He sauntered past where Latrell stayed pressed against the wall, hesitated at the corner of the alley. "Keep up the good work."

He stepped forward and disappeared from view.

Latrell's breath left him in a rush and he doubled over, bracing himself on his knees. His head still spun, the unpleasant sensation he'd come to expect from vertigo. The backs of his eyelids were painted with a stark blank white. Every time he blinked he was engulfed.

It was far beyond any illusion he'd ever experienced. It was approaching the type he'd only ever read about in scientific articles.

You forget who you are dealing with, Agent.

Perhaps he had. But this assault supplied more than a reminder.

It also provided a piece of the puzzle.

#we'll go with #weekly update #WIP: ATN #excerpt #pockets muses IRL #god you can't tell i'm an overwriter at all can you #somebody please shut me up #>.<

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heresathreebee · 4 years

Text

Garrote part 2

[Starz Power Diego Jimenez X Jazmine Mann (Black!OC)]

Word Count: 1591 words

Warning(s): Rated teen (until like chapter 6?). Language, more mentions of human trafficking. Previous Masterlist Next

AN: I got excited and I couldn’t wait to post this tomorrow. The OC finally appears here. (Diego looks like he’s trying to incite a three way and/or sexy shenanigans in this photo)

@1zashreena1 @nicke0115 @mental-bycatch

Diego didn't like Agent Healy. He didn't like anything about this scenario or the way the man just knew about the baby or where to find them. Alicia and Diego were some of the biggest criminals in North America and nobody was supposed to know they were even on this side of the border. There was no doubt in Diego’s mind that Alicia blamed him for it. But regardless of fault, Healy did know, and for that, the man had Alicia's confidence (if even by a frayed thread) and his instructions were easy to follow.

Healy hadn't given him a name nor a description, so Diego, with nothing but an address and a time, walked into a convenience store at 6 in the afternoon. She'll know you, was Healy's only explanation. Diego deeply regretted this already.

The bell on the door rang twice and as his eyes swept across the floor, it was mostly empty. The employee behind the counter barely looked up at him. There was an old drunk woman leaning over the beers and a younger woman in deep contemplation over which trail mix she wanted.

Feeling out of his element, he wandered through the snack section, glancing over to the young woman again. She was kind of cute. Straight hair pulled into a high ponytail and glasses perched at the end of her nose. He was going to say something (he didn't know what) when she looked up angrily and tossed the bags in her hands back onto the rack.

"When are you going to get vegan options in this store," she yelled at the employee.

The employee's exhausted eyes lifted from inspecting her fingernails and she pointed lazily, "next to the beer. It's only drinks, sorry."

The young woman looked nervously at the swaying drunk woman standing guard of the path, then caught Diego's staring and disappeared as quickly as possible. The sour gummy worms Diego had in his hand returned swiftly to the shelf in a calmer imitation of the fit the other customer had thrown not seconds before. He grabbed a case of beer and twizzlers before heading for the counter. He felt foolish– he didn't know what to do or who he was meeting or even what the next step would be. The employee looked over him seeming to sense his disgruntlement.

"Just this?," she asked. He nodded, watching her try to scan the items, fail, sigh in annoyance, and then manually enter their item codes to the register. He took a second to admire the radius of her curls. The black hair turned a caramel color at the ends and he imagined her hair tie holding on for dear life to contain the thick mass. Should it snap, the poof would be magnificent.

"OK, $7.23."

"That's it?" He gave her his card and ID but looking over his items, he decided to take it back. He was overpaying for this garbage. He noticed her stiffen as she spotted the name on his card.

"You're Diego Jimenez?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Yes…?"

He didn't like the way her shoulders slumped suddenly. Women didn't react like that– scratch that– no one reacted that way to him. Fear or arousal, but never… resignation? She looked like she was mourning something. Finishing the sale, she gave him back his cards and grasped his wrist to keep him from leaving. This shocked him– nobody was stupid enough to lay hands on a guy like him.

"I'm Jazmine." As if he couldn't read the name on her tag, but then she continued, "I'm your new girlfriend."

"What?"

"Just"- the bell of the door chimed behind him– "play along," she whispered.

"Bella!" An overly joyful white man walked over to the counter with a bright, familiar smile. "Mi primadonna. So lovely to see you again."

Jazmine chuckled in that 'I get paid to do this' sort of way. "Well, you know I'm always working!"

"Of course, of course," he replied, fishing for his wallet. He wore a suit– not expensive enough to be tailored but it wasn't overly unfitting– and his hair was beginning to thin at the top. Jazmine reappeared from the store's office with a bag of prepared items in it seemingly just for this guy. Upon noticing her, he gasped in surprise and pouted his lip like a young girl reacting to getting a present from her first boyfriend. "You hold the key to heart, and every time I see your face it makes my day just a little brighter."

Jazmine bowed her head to hide behind her bangs (were they bangs? They were textured and fell over her forehead short of her eyes). "No need to thank me, I always enjoy your visits."

If Diego wasn't so confused, he might have noticed her lying through her teeth. At the present, he was distracted when this cheery, overly doting man looked down to find Jazmine's hand touching the wrist of this stranger. Something dark flashed in his eyes.

"Who's this?"

Jazmine hopped over the counter, planting herself directly in Diego's personal space, and caressed his arm. "This is my boyfriend Diego. Diego, say hi." Diego looked between him and her. "This is Jeremy. Jeremy Haagen– the guy I've been telling you about."

"Oh," Diego managed. Go with it. "Hi. Nice to finally meet you."

Jeremy Haagen's jaw ticked but he reclaimed his smile, albeit with a chip on the shoulder. He spoke to Jazmine, not Diego. "It's nice to know I am on your mind even when I'm not around. I think I'll be going– I've got an early day tomorrow. Goodnight, Miss. Mann. And, uh, it was nice to meet you as well, Di-e-go."

He disappeared quickly into the rapidly growing cover of night. Jazmine was practically giddy. She lay backward across the counter top like a happy cat and stretched so a sliver of her belly showed. "I've never had him leave so quickly. I should have thought of this months ago!"

Diego hummed resisting the urge to reach out and touch her. To satisfy his lust or his annoyance, he couldn't say which. He watched her roll back into a sitting position and meet his eyes, now a little sheepish.

"I guess I've probably got some explaining to do… I can't do it right here, right now, it's probably best if we wait til we're somewhere less public..."

His phone showed it was 9:45 pm in bold font, indicating it had been hours since the strange incident. Jazmine Mann was indeed the woman he was supposed to work with– a specimen he never expected to tangle with. The good news was that she knew a little of Healy's scheme– and the better news was that she wasn't overly fond of the man either.

The terrible, terrible, awful news was that her shift didn't end for fifteen more minutes, and her replacement was always late to their shift. Jazmine watched over the store, stocked shelves that looked virtually OCD with how untouched and organized they were, and finally she escorted the drunken Chinese woman out the back door and across the street, then returned and immediately went back to cleaning. Diego was beyond bored. His soul had left his body and was back at his penthouse suite getting sucked off by that vegan yoga instructor from earlier. He was nearly asleep when his head hit the window and woke him up with a growl.

"Can we fucking go?," he snapped. "Fuck your job. Nobody's been in here for hours."

Jazmine sighed, unperturbed by his lack of etiquette. Her hand drummed on her thigh until she shrugged. "OK. I have to lock up first, then we can go over to my place and talk about things."

Diego grunted and pushed off of the counter opting for a smoke to calm him. He made it a point not to watch her work because watching her was like watching molasses on a hot summer sundae. It didn't mean he didn't notice whenever her shadow passed by, or when the lights behind him finally went out. He was lighting a second cigarette when at last, she locked the front door. She had traded the dull red work vest for a jean jacket, allowing the music band logo of her shirt to show proudly. They walked seven goddamn blocks through city streets to get to her apartment and even with his gun tucked into his pants he had never felt more unsafe.

"So what did Healy tell you?" She secured every lock on her door and sat down without offering anything to drink. So she didn't get many visitors-- alright then, he wouldn't put out his third cigarette.

Diego cleared her coffee table none too gently and sat facing her. "A whole lot of bullshit. Said he's trying to dismantle and trafficking ring and that you were going to need some help getting the job set up."

Jazmine bobbed her head. "OK. Healy let me be in charge of the details, but since the set up was already in affect, he's just taking advantage of an opportunity." She said the word opportunity while making air quote gestures with her hands. "That guy you met– he's the target. He's been coming into my store for the better part of a season and making unsutble passes at me almost every day. Healy says he runs most of the human trafficking around these parts– specifically the underage scene... and he left it at that so as not to compromise the integrity of my 'character.'

"I guess you and I are going to be a team." Jazmine leaned so she had his full attention. "I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend while I draw him out so Healy can snag him. Understand?"

"Not really."

"Good, we're on the same page then," she joked with a note of sincerity.

#Diego Jimenez x OC #Starz Power #Diego Jimenez #three bees writing #🐝🐝🐝✒#Garrote

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svnthxsense · 5 years

Text

summer lovin’

Genre/Rating: Fluff, angst / PG-13

Warnings: Fem reader, cursing, no happy ending, somewhat suggestive content (?)

Summary: With Jeno at your side, trips to amusement parks, flower fields, beaches and more became your daily routine. But then autumn came, and you were left aching for his presence again.

Word Count: 6.5k

Author’s Note: I do have a playlist that somewhat goes with the plot. This is a standalone in Neo Tech High School. My apologies for posting this later than anticipated and if the Keep Reading function doesn’t work on mobile, it’s not my fault ;(

The last day of school is every student’s favorite day of the school year. By this time, the craving for freedom and warm weather courses through everyone’s veins. Knees shake and fingers twiddle in anticipation of the last bell ringing. And usually, you’d be no different from the rest of the kids. This time around, though, you find yourself in the hallway with your cheeks practically burning from Jeno’s unwavering gaze and intoxicating smile.

“Y/N, the period’s practically over. Let’s just chill here for a while,” he whines shamelessly. You roll your eyes in an attempt to cover up the giddy feeling in your chest increasing with every minute spent with Lee Jeno. “I know you don’t want to sit through another one of Mr. Choi’s lessons.”

You realize how easily you lost track of time. When Jeno’s hand gently pulled your wrist in the hallway, it was almost an instinct to follow him. Summer was inching its way into your bloodstream, and you were practically begging for an escape from long school days and the workload that followed you home. So, when Jeno offered you a perfect escape, you took it with no hesitation.

You two stop in front of a window overlooking the school’s garden in an empty hallway towards the end of the school’s east wing. Although Jeno was a pretty amazing student, he had learned his tricks to skipping class. You, on the other hand, never really skipped school while on the premises. Leaving early or not going at all seemed like a much better option. Suddenly you find yourself wondering just how many times Jeno has skipped class with someone at his side.

Almost as if he knows you’re thinking about him, he turns to face you abruptly with a gummy smile teasing the corners of his lips. You try your hardest not to be affected by it, but his smile is as contagious as the common cold. A lopsided grin graces your face as you admire the boy in front of you.

You two hadn’t been close until recently when he sparked up a conversation with you in one of your elective classes. Suddenly, you found yourself talking to him a lot more and sitting with him and his friends at lunch. The cool breeze that contrasted with the bitter heat of the sun made your skin tingle as you laughed along with some of the most hilarious people you’d ever met- Jaemin, Renjun, Haechan, and Mark. You found yourself looking forward to seeing them during the summer, and especially Jeno.

“What’re you thinking about?” He asks curiously, his nimble fingers toying around with the hem of your school blazer.

“Summer,” You breathe out in the midst of a sigh. You can practically taste the relief you’ll feel when the final bell rings. “Honestly, 3:30 cannot come soon enough.” At this, Jeno giggles like a literal child.

“You’re so impatient, babe. Only 10 more minutes.”

You try not to get wrapped up in his use of names, but it doesn’t work and you mentally curse yourself for smiling so widely.

“Babe?” You tease, slightly raising your eyebrows. His giggle returns before he shoves you playfully. Both of you begin laughing and suddenly, you’re backed up against the window sill. With his arms on either side of you, he leans in so close that you can smell his minty breath and musky cologne. You find yourself staring at his lips with the urge to lunge forward shamelessly, but you use every last bit of willpower to resist that urge.

“Am I not allowed to call you that?” His grin would make you want to punch him if you didn’t enjoy the sight so much. Not trusting yourself to use normal words, you simply shrug in response. “Y/N- with nothing to say? I’m surprised.”

At this, you ball your hand into a fist and punch his bicep lightly in conjunction with glaring at him. One thing you had figured out by now was that Jeno took every single opportunity he could to flirt his ass off. At first, it would make you stop dead in your tracks; your body would freeze and your muscles would tense so harshly that even Jeno would get concerned. By now, however, you were more than accustomed to his sly remarks and the pet names that accompanied them.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” You breathe out, checking the clock on the wall for what seems like the 100th time today. 6 more damn minutes. The time isn’t moving as quickly as you wish. As much as you love spending time with Jeno, you know you’re charting into dangerous territory. Not to say Jeno is a player, but you’re aware of how situations like this go. You’ll have fun for some time, probably buy into your feelings much more than you’ll admit. The attachment will inch its way into your soul, and then something will happen and you’ll be left with an ache in your heart. Sad romance movies taught you enough.

“Are you going away this summer?” He asks with curiosity tainting his voice.

This is your opportunity to stop everything before you go head-first into something that would most definitely harm your emotions. All you have to do is say yes, you are going away. All you have to do is lie, and you’ll be free of the potential heartbreak that you foreshadow accompanies the smiling boy in front of you.

“No, I’m not,” You find yourself saying instead.

As soon as that bell had rung, it was like you and Jeno were suddenly inseparable. He had texted you just about every day about going somewhere new. The first time was to the movies. A new action movie had just come out and Jeno had always been a fan of the lead actor. You didn’t think much of it, tagging along with him mindlessly without any inhibitions.

In the movie theater, you had expected teenage boys geeking out over the CGI and plotline. Much to your surprise, the large room was packed with couples. Jeno, of course, knew it would be like this. You could tell this much solely based off of the smug grin plastered on his face for half the movie as his arm came down to wrap around your shoulders. You tried not to think much of it, simply clearing your throat and shifting in your seat to get more comfortable. It didn’t help much; every inch of skin he touched ended up feeling tingly and warm.

“How’d you like it?” He turned to face you as he asked, his signature gummy smile gracing his face. You loved this smile- when his eyelids turn to slits and his smile is so wide that his cheeks bulge a bit. “I wasn’t sure if this was your kind of movie.”

“I liked it,” You lied, because you hadn’t been focused on the movie at all. Then again, who could be when there was a beautiful boy next to you, acting so comfortable and touchy towards you? It shouldn’t have been a big deal because it wasn’t, but it was. It was a huge deal that the warmth of his body made you feel so bare and vulnerable but so comforted at the same time. It was a big deal that not one ounce of your being could focus on the movie with his arm pulling you into his side.

You two stood up from your seats in unison, shuffling out of the movie theater with your almost-empty soda and popcorn containers. Jeno looked so genuinely proud of how the movie turned out as if he were the lead actor himself.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’ve been obsessed with the idea of this movie since the teaser came out.” His kilowatt smile never faltered as he went on about his favorite parts of the movie, getting especially worked up over the CGI as you had expected. You felt enchanted watching him speak with so much passion, it was shocking. The topic seemed like something he could have conversations about for days and days on end, even if he got tired of it.

“Thank you for coming with me, Y/N.” He had turned his body to face you after walking you to your house, the only lighting was the dim porch light and the moon. You had no other choice than to look at the boy in front of you in all his beautiful glory- bare face, glasses, a comfy sweater that hung loosely around his upper body, his black jeans. How could someone so simple be so intoxicating to be around?

“Thank you for inviting me.” Your voice came out quieter than you intended, eyes focusing on his shoes instead of his damned face. Jeno was silent, standing there waiting for you to make eye contact once again. When you finally did, everything seemed to be in slow motion. He leaned his face close to yours with an achingly slow intensity before he pressed his soft lips to your cheek in such a tender manner, you could’ve sworn that he could hear your heartbeat quicken.

“I have a feeling I’ll be inviting you to a lot of places.”

The next time that you two had met up was when Jeno had come to your house, begging you to accompany him and the rest of the boys to the amusement park. It hadn’t taken long to convince you, the simple whine in his voice was enough to waver your stubborn ways. You had contemplated your decision fully during the car ride to the crowded amusement park, and although you wished you’d said no, you knew there was no going back.

Amusement parks didn’t actually bother you, you quite enjoyed them for the most part. Crowds weren’t exactly your favorite, but rollercoasters and arcade games were definitely your style. Jeno simply smiled at every attraction the group shifted to. In the arcade, you had blown at least 20 dollars while beating Renjun and Jaemin consistently at a car racing game. During bumper cars, Jeno let you drive after a good five minutes of bickering. Of course, Haechan and Mark made it their mission to bump into your little car every chance they got. Despite that, it was the first time you’d had that much fun in what felt like a lifetime.

On the drive home, with the rest of the boys in the front two rows of the van, you and Jeno had opted for the third row. Having been so exhausted from the day’s activities, Jeno leaned his upper body against one side of the van and swung his legs over the rest of the seats. You were too tired to oppose what was to come, fatigue lacing every fiber of your being. So instead, you climbed in between his legs and rested your head against his chest. The soft thumping of his heartbeat and the warm embrace of his arms had you falling asleep before you even realized, cuddled up to the boy who was slowly but surely sinking his claws into your heart.

“Y/N! Come on, get down here!” Jeno whisper-shouted up to you, where you stood from the comfort of your bedroom. With the window cracked open, you had already heard the soft purr of his car engine as he was pulling up to your house. It was four in the fucking morning, but regardless of the lethargy that almost made your body ache, you felt the need to accommodate his request.

“You suck.” You retorted, throwing one leg over your window sill before hopping down. Your room was practically ground-level, so sneaking out had never been a problem. Given, you’d never snuck out with another person, nor did you go very far for an extended amount of time. Sneaking out usually consisted of you going for a walk to your local convenience store and getting a midnight snack. This, though, sneaking out to god-knows-where with Lee Jeno- this was something you’d never done. “Where the hell are you taking me?”

“The beach.” His smile illuminated his face, especially under the moonlight just as you had remembered it did when you walked home from the movies. It was utterly contagious- the sight of his pearly whites tugged at your lips, forcing them into a grin. With a roll of the eyes, you followed him to his slightly old pick up truck.

You recalled the story he had told you behind the truck, saying that his dad had a pick up in high school and he used to sneak out on dates with his mom. Heat immediately spreads throughout your whole body when you realize how similar this situation is, except you and Jeno had never talked about your relationship. You assumed you two were at least seeing each other, but you also didn’t hold the expectation that it was exclusive. After all, it was summer break- and you knew of no teenager who wanted to be in a serious relationship during such a time.

The radio played loud enough that it bled from the open car windows, escaping into the night air as he drove along the highway. Jeno tapped his fingers along to the beat atop the steering wheel, his glasses hung low on the bridge of his nose and his bangs tickled his eyebrows. You had always thought he was the most beautiful like this, in minimalistic clothing with the signature Tom Ford frames of his glasses adorning his face.

The beach was a decent ways away, but you didn’t mind. It was only when he had pulled into the empty parking lot adjacent to the beach that you realized you hadn’t brought anything beach appropriate- most importantly, a bathing suit. You pushed the thought out of your head, convinced that Jeno wouldn’t go swimming at this time of night when the ocean water was bitterly cold. Jeno hopped out of the truck with you trailing behind him. His backpack hung off of one shoulder, a beach blanket slung over his other arm as both of you maneuvered over the cool sand. After finding a spot that seemed to satisfy him, he laid down the blanket delicately. The wind had made it a challenge to keep the blanket down, but eventually, neither of you cared enough to keep adjusting it.

“I hope the water isn’t freezing.” He frowned, tossing his glasses atop his backpack and kicking off his sneakers before tugging his t-shirt over his body. The way you gulped provoked a shit-eating grin to make its way onto his face. Seeing how you visibly bit back your nerves at the sight of the skin that was stretched tautly over the muscles of his abdomen created a surge of confidence within himself. Clad in a pair of sweat shorts, Jeno raced daringly to the shoreline, leaving you to collect your thoughts in the meantime. Without a second thought, he threw his body into the crashing waves as he screamed in enjoyment.

With crossed arms, you let yourself wander down to the shoreline slowly. Jeno’s eyes are on you, a challenging facial expression sending adrenaline through your bloodstream. You wished, at this moment, that you had packed a bathing suit. But there seemed to be no going back.

“Y/N, the water isn’t even that cold!” He exclaimed, egging you on to come join him. Your thoughts are deeper than they should’ve been, reminding yourself that you won’t always have youthful summer vacations when you step into the real world. If not now, then never.

His eyes practically bulged out of his head, the daring nature in the air dropped as soon as your pants did. His eyes only grew wider when your shirt followed suit, seeing the plain undergarments that somehow looked so sultry embellishing your skin. With tentative steps, you waded into the slightly cool ocean with your eyes never faltering from the moonlight-reflecting water. The air smelled of salt, sloshing sounds filling the air as you came face-to-face with the stunned boy.

The two of you were decently deep into the water, the waves moving just barely above your bra-covered nipples. You didn’t feel insecure under his intense stare, though, his eyes setting fire to every inch of your body. His hands found your waist underwater, pulling your closer to him firmly.

“You’re right, the water isn’t cold,” You mumbled, one hand running over his chest before finding its way to his jaw. The breeze carried the smell of salt along with Jeno’s intoxicating cologne- musky and delicate all at the same time. A smell that so addicting that you were almost certain it would be considered a drug.

“You,” He started, moving his hands until they found purchase at your hips. His grip was assertive, silently commanding your attention and relaying the message that you were not going anywhere anytime soon. “Are so beautiful.”

With the tension thick in the air, you threw caution to the wind and eagerly trapped his lips in yours. Your mouths seemed to flow in unison, every movement causing a smooth transition to the next. Tongue slid against tongue, swollen lips upon swollen lips. His kiss overpowered your senses, overran your preoccupied mind, and took your breath away- literally. By the time you two separated, you were shamelessly gasping for oxygen.

You weren’t sure how you ended up on the beach blanket rather than the water, with Jeno on top of you kissing your thoughts away and his drenched shorts still clinging to his body. His body glistened, having still been saturated from your swim session. The sky was no longer a dark contrast between the twinkling stars and the dark abyss of space, a faint warm-toned light beginning to merge with the deep blue.

“Jeno.” You were breathless, trying desperately to hold on to your sanity while being so lost in him. It was dangerous territory, you knew, but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop. This was inevitable- you recognized how utterly crazy you were for him from the moment he first talked to you in class.

“Yes, babe?” His tone was innocent as he gracefully pushed away the strands of hair that fell in front of your face. The caring look in his eyes was like an eraser, leaving no trace of any doubts that you once had. You were done for. “You okay?”

“With you, I am.”

When he gave you a smile that could light up the world in response, you pulled him back against you with a new-found need. You got lost in each other’s warmth, losing all grip on reality and time. A baby blue color now painted the sky, puffs of white clouds further enriching the scenery. This moment, with Lee Jeno at your side- this moment was one you’d remember for eternity and even after that. The insecurity of what was to come of your relationship still tainted a part of your heart, but it was no match for the utter bliss you felt while falling in love.

The spontaneous adventures hadn’t stopped there. Jeno had found numerous places to take you to: a new coffee shop that had just had its grand opening, a flower field on the other side of town, an overpriced but damn-good gelato spot. For weeks, boredom hadn’t crept up on you for a second- not with him to sweep you off on such trips. Things were good, for a while.

Your first argument happened after a night out with Jeno and the rest of the boys. Somehow, someway, your relationship became a topic with the guys jokingly pressuring Jeno to make it official. The sly remarks had gotten to him, and he stormed away from the dinner table to catch his breath. Of course, you followed after him in the hopes of comforting him. Unfortunately, you can’t comfort someone who doesn’t want to be comforted.

Jeno dismissed your presence in the nicest way he could, softly asking if you could get a ride from one of the other boys while he cleared his head. You tried to swallow the thick lump of hurt that was threatening to obstruct your throat before whispering an ‘Okay,’ already feeling the wall being built between you two.

The topic of your relationship hadn’t come up after that, and even you knew better than to bring it up. In reality, though, even if you did want to talk about it, you didn’t get many chances. Jeno and communication seemed to become distant friends. The adventures slowly but surely stopped, and the only time you’d see him was when the boys had their weekly hangouts that you had been invited to from the start. He was still the caring boy that you knew, but his eagerness to be with you had noticeably wavered.

You had tried, more times than you care to admit, texting him. It happened more so at night when you could feel the aching, empty feeling in the wake of his absence. You missed him, more than you thought you would. It was a foreign feeling, the longing for something that seemed so close yet so far. Jeno was like a lighthouse, but this one kept moving farther and farther away the more you tried to inch closer.

One night, you finally heard the faint hum of his pickup truck pulling up to your house. It was three in the morning this time, and you used every ounce of willpower you possessed to resist the urge of flinging yourself to your window. Instead, you sat up a bit in your bed with your phone in your hand. It was easier to pretend, you realized, to act like Jeno didn’t have an effect on you.

“Y/N!” He called quietly, his face coming into view through the glass. It felt like every nerve in your body was on fire again, something so simple as his smile making you feel dizzy. He looked the same as he always did, and you would’ve been lying if you said you weren’t completely jubilant to see his face after what seemed like forever. “Come on, let’s go!”

Your willpower wavered, and you practically flew to the window clad in leggings and an oversized shirt that you later realized to be Jeno’s. It didn’t occur to you whatsoever until you were both on the ground, toe to toe and staring at each other. His eyes lingered over your figure, and his smile grew even wider after he recognized the shirt he had given you after your time on the beach.

The memory seemed so distant, like a whole different time. In reality, it hadn’t been that long- maybe a month ago. How quickly things changed, you thought to yourself. The recollection made your heart drop into your stomach. Though, sadness was a common feeling for you at the time. The other boys still texted you all too often, offering you any comfort they could, but even they knew the inevitable. Jeno would slowly but surely break your heart.

“Where are we going?” You wistfully forced out, hoping the conversation would distract you. His smile faltered a little at your tone, but he quickly caught himself and painted another grin upon his features instead. Rather than responding, he took your hand in his and led you to his pickup truck as he’d done many times before. His touch caused a prickly sensation to run through the palm of your hand and all the way through your body, just as it always had.

The drive to your unknown destination seemed all too familiar. You couldn’t quite place it, but you swore you had seen those same passing stores and road signs. It was only when the car came to a stop that you realized where he had taken you: the beach. The reminder made your heartache, but it also made it impossible to fight the smile that breaks onto your face.

“We won’t go swimming this time.” Light laughter fills the truck as the engine sputtered to a complete stop. He turns to look at you, a certain emotion hidden behind his eyes that you couldn’t quite place. You had never seen it before, not in those eyes that you knew all too well. Before you had more time to contemplate, Jeno swung his door opened and hopped down to the ground with ease. You mimicked his actions, rounding your side of the truck to meet him directly in front of the bed of the pickup. He popped it open, revealing a cushion that had been placed down to perfectly take up its space. Pillows littered the upper quarter, near the front of the pickup. “I wanted to stargaze. I figured you’d like it, dork. “

The both of you chuckled at this, climbing up onto the cushions splayed out. It was chillier than you remember it being earlier in the summer, a shiver involuntarily running up your spine. Jeno noticed, and reached to his side to grab a blanket big enough to cover both of your cold figures. The more you shifted to find a comfortable position, the closer you had subconsciously moved towards Jeno. He didn’t mind though, gently tucking his arm under your head despite it having enough cushion with the pillows.

The two of you fell into comfortable conversation, first starting with small talk and then getting into the most ridiculous conspiracy theories that Renjun had always talked about. The discussion continued throughout the night, as both of you stared up into the night sky. This, being there with Jeno, you finally felt content. You were no longer thinking about if he’d still act like this tomorrow morning- your thoughts were overrun by the peculiar idea that life was an experiment and the stars were actually alien ships.

As you ramble on with concentration while comfortably nuzzled into his warmth, Jeno couldn’t deny that he had missed you. He knew you wanted to talk about it, talk about why he was acting so different. He wanted to tell you, too. You deserved an explanation. Yet, the words were stuck somewhere in the back of his throat. The refusal to accept the situation overcame his sympathy, and he chose to be greedy with such information- at least for this moment in time.

He promised himself he’d tell you eventually, but with you smiling brightly in his arms, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He wished upon multiple stars that night, wished that somehow you'll forgive him after the mess that will surely unfold. Being in your presence was something he truly did enjoy, and he had no choice but to regretfully anticipate the end. He reminded himself, though, that all good things must come to an end. You were Jeno’s good thing for a while, and he forced himself to believe that keeping you with him was entirely too selfish, even for his liking.

It was nearly five in the morning when he decided you two should probably head back. The ride home was peaceful, the music playing on the radio at a neutral volume. The song sounded almost dreamlike, and you found yourself dozing off before you had even gotten halfway home. Finally, Jeno looked over after safely pulling into your driveway, thanking fate that your parents had seemingly left for work before he got there.

Your peacefully sleeping figure sent a twang of guilt throughout Jeno’s body, a sad smile gracing his face when he realized that things had to end today. He had convinced himself to allow one last time, one last special date before he had to be honest with you. It wasn’t fair to either of you- the shame he felt knowing he was leading you to believe that you two could have something when he wasn’t in the right headspace for it in the first place, the heartache he could see you suffering. None of this was what he planned to happen.

But that one day in class, when he casually sparked up a conversation with you, the desire to be around you more grew more and more with each day. The uncertainty of what would come of that, though, was something he chose to ignore. This was his fault, he realized as he gently moved your still dozing body into his arms. Aimlessly, he used his shoulder to shove the passenger door shut and continued to round the back of your house.

“Y/N,” He murmured close to your ear, plucking you from your blissful rest. Your eyes flutter open slowly, the first sight after waking up being Jeno’s eyes peering down at yours. “You have to get up, baby. I can’t climb through the window while carrying you.”

You nodded in response, feeling the soles of your shoes lightly dig into the ground when he set you down. Without a word, you hoisted yourself up and into your bedroom. Jeno mimicked your actions, choosing to resist his inclination to lay next to you and instead sat at the foot of your bed. This was the moment, he knew, where the bittersweet ending he foresaw would become reality.

“Jeno,” You started weakly, already feeling the invisible wall beginning to rise between you despite having been fine a mere hour ago.

“I know you wanna talk about it,” He trailed off, fiddling with his fingers and maintaining a hard stare at his calloused digits. When he took a deep breath, he expected some sort of relief. Much to his dismay, his throat felt tighter as the seconds went by. “I’m sorry, for everything.”

“You’re making this sound a lot like a ‘goodbye.’”

A tight contraction ripped through his chest, guilt becoming a side effect of the whole ordeal that he had started. He always made sure to keep his summer flings as just that- summer flings. They would have fun, of course, but there would always be a limit to how far things would go. Summer flings, to Jeno, were never exclusive. That day on the beach, though, had forged a connection between you two. The feelings he developed were not meant for summer flings, and he felt regret at how easily he pushed those feelings aside.

There were days when all he thought about was you, and there were days when he’d think about a random passing girl. The feelings faded as quickly as they came once he forced them away, leaving only a subtle admiration in their wake. The infatuation he felt at one point had slowly diminished to a mere crush if one could even call it that.

“I think it should be, for now.” He tore the words from his insides, a bit more unsteadily than he aimed for. You didn’t dare look into his eyes, fearful of what would stare back at you- emotionless, hard eyes? Regretful, soft ones? Finding out wasn’t on your to-do list.

“Tell me everything was fake.” He barely caught this, the breeze carrying your whisper within the small room.

“It wasn’t fake, Y/N.” An exasperated sigh left his lips, his hands then coming up to smooth through his tousled hair. “I really liked spending time with you. I just think this is getting a bit more serious than either of us planned.”

One thing that you had learned to pick up on was his tells. The small stutter in his words, the lack of eye contact, the fidgeting. You knew he was lying.

“Cut the bullshit.” The low whisper was long gone, replaced by a bitterly harsh tone. “If you’re gonna do this, at least be honest with me.”

His hand instinctively reached out to intertwine itself with yours, finding all the sore spots and kneading the tension away. He didn’t want this to be the end, he didn’t want to forget it all. But he also didn’t want to hurt you anymore, not when he cared about you more than ever.

“It was only a partial lie…” Your hard stare made him wince. “Okay… I guess, going into this I didn’t expect much. It was supposed to be a summer thing- just for fun. Then the feelings got deeper…” He watched your reaction, but your face remained detached. “But then, for me, things went back to normal. I didn’t feel how I did that night on the beach, or at least not as intensely. And I didn’t want to make things official because I’m not ready to have you like that, Y/N. I couldn’t do that to you, not when I was-”

He cut himself off, realizing that he was oversharing and this was the one detail he didn’t want you to know. Anything else, anything at all. But not this.

“Say it,” You pressed, so strongly that the response is practically plucked right from his thoughts.

“Meeting up with Yerim,” He finished, finally finding the courage to look at you once again. The cold-blooded front you put on almost convinced him, but he knew you better than that. Yerim was a year above you, and the girl that everybody wanted but could never get. He knew that if he didn’t try to salvage what little friendship you had left now, it would be gone forever. “Please, believe me, Y/N. I didn’t mean for either of us to catch feelings. And seeing Yerim- it didn’t mean anything.”

You scoffed, biting back the bitter taste in your mouth.

“None of this meant anything, did it? The dates, the conversations.” His mouth opened as if to rebuttal, but you continued talking anyway. “I can’t even say I’m mad because everyone knew this would happen. Fuck, even I knew. I just- why did you take me out tonight? Was that your sick twist of a goodbye party?”

The sarcastic laugh that stumbles past your lips has Jeno genuinely anxious of what you’ll do or say next. You were never the type to be so openly emotional, let alone during a situation like this.

“I think you’re right, this should be goodbye.”

The tears broke away from your eyes begrudgingly, although your facial expression never changed. Something deep within you, most likely your pride, wouldn’t allow the soft flesh of your face to move. You remained still, breathing evenly despite the urge to curl up in a ball and sob the rest of the morning.

“Y/N, please look at me.” Jeno was close to tears now too, though one couldn’t possibly tell from the surface. He was never much of a crier, much less in front of anybody. Rather than waiting to see if you had indeed decided to let yourself look at him, he continued talking. “I’m sorry, really. I enjoyed our time together, and I’ll always be here for you.”

His words did little to comfort the collapsing wall that was your mentality. You had never understood the pain of break-ups until now, and he wasn’t even your boyfriend. Was it normal to feel this much pain for a relationship that wasn’t fully existent? The memories you held so dearly to your heart, were they just another still in his photobook? By that point, your thoughts were jumbled and pounding against your head, the ache becoming harder and harder to ignore.

“I think you should go now.” Hiccups almost overtook your words, threatening to reveal just how hard this was on you. Despite all this, you held your ground and pushed his hand away from yours with all the strength you could muster.

He didn’t have the heart to put you through any more talking, feeling his own sadness wiggle its way throughout his body. Losing you was one thing he dreaded, especially over his stupid decision to pursue you as a summer fling. In his defense, he truly didn’t think it’d go this far. He knew his limits and how to make it clear that relationships weren’t something he thought much of at this time of year. With you, though, the lines seemed to blur the minute you waded into the ocean that night.

His head sunk in defeat, and he let out one long sigh before walking over to your bedroom window. Jeno allowed himself to sneak one final glance at you as you laid there on your bed, still unmoving after seeing him through the corner of your eye. After a few seconds that he wished turned to hours, he finally hoisted himself up and out the window.

Unbeknownst to him, you felt yourself sigh in relief when he left. Unbeknownst to you, though, Jeno had sat in his pickup truck that was still parked in your driveway for a little while after. He tried to memorize your house, the small garden in the front and brick architecture that stood in contrast with the vibrant flowers. It might’ve just been the last chance he’d have to see it.

“Goodbye, Y/N.” He knew you couldn’t hear him, but he hoped that somehow you did.

[present day]

Things got easier as time went on. You found yourself being content with school starting back up again. The bitter taste that Jeno’s name once left in your mouth was noticeably less pronounced. Although you missed him more than the moon missed the stars during daylight, you were learning to live on your own. Jeno had shown you many great places, ones that you would’ve never tried if it weren’t for him. The adventurous side of you became more vivid than ever. You still kept in touch with the other boys from time to time, assuring them that you were okay and would see them on the first day of classes. Life was becoming easier, day by day.

First days are almost always horrible. You expect nothing less this year. Though, you learned not to rely on your notions. Things always surprised you. Such as having first period with none other than your infamous summer fling. Seeing him after a month of no contact was like seeing him for the first time. The sting that accompanied you forcing a smile his way was a scar you knew would fade with time. The smile that he sent back your way was another pain you’d grow used to.

What you weren’t used to, though, was having homeroom after lunch with Kim Yerim. While you hold no resentment towards her, a part of you wishes you were assigned to a different room. Even worse, the only seat left for you to take was directly behind her and her friends.

“I heard you spent a lot of time with Jeno this summer!” One of them, whose tone is all too bubbly and curious for your liking, exclaims. Yerim grins, motioning them to come closer as she rehashes some of their meetings.

“Seriously, Yerim. With a guy like that, I’m surprised you didn’t ask him for something serious.”

“Please, Joy. Only a fool would fall for Lee Jeno,” Yerim’s response makes her other friends snicker as they pull notebooks and pens from their bags. With a quick glance over her shoulder, you know she’s referring to you.

And oh, what a fool you were.

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