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#now please excuse me I need to go cry
lilitblaukatz · 9 months
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tl;dr: I don't have a conclusion. Just lots of love and sympathy.
We have so little info to understand why Chay decided not to go through with his uni exams.
Oh yes, he might be just an ungrateful little shit. Let's hear it for the boy, tho.
At the very beginning, when the situation got tough, Chay asked Porsche to sell the house and move somewhere cheaper. He also suggested, that it's not the time for getting education.
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It seems to me that Chay doesn't think that his education is a form of "fighting". He's wrong, but Porsche didn't tell him enough. That unresolved issue still stands many months later.
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I believe Chay when he says that he likes music. I believe him when he said that he chose Antranameka because his celebrity crush is studying there. Why Chay is making such a rough decision? I don't have an answer satisfying in its fullness. Just these thoughts.
Nampheung told very very young Porsche that he mustn't die before Chay will finish his education. Porsche's dream was to fulfill that request. Many sacrifices were made, Chay knows. Chay doesn't want sacrifices from him. He wants piece and love and his brother alive and near. He can make sacrifices too.
Then Chay comes to the point where in several days period he learns that Porsche is in grave danger. That his first love was lying about loving him back (that's what concerns Chay the most about Kim). That his life now is changed beyond recognition. He needs strength and time to regroup. Chay still doesn't have a confidant, a friend who can help him. Ohm is trying, bless him. Ohm is helping a bit with the heartbreak. But since Chay says later that Porsche doesn't have to tell him all and Chay himself doesn't tell Porsche all of his concerns, Chay doesn't consider Porsche as support, but rather as a part of the problem. He must support Porsche now. Just on his own terms.
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Chay starts behaving like Porsche when he has problems. He turns to the vices, he changes his look and he... sacrifices? He makes decisions for himself. Maybe for the first time in his life he makes such an important decision as he did about the uni.
It wasn't about the money for Chay. It was symbolic from the start. To help his brother by being good Nong and good student. But did Chay think that it was a fair trade? He is the smart one. He grew up and saw that it was unfair for Porsche.
I never forget the first thing Porsche said about Kim, when Pete told him as little as "Khun Kim moved out a long time ago".
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I will talk about it later, hopefully, when I finish that big long-ass post about Kim, Korn and conspiracy that eats my draft folder like a bunch of termites.
But Porsche. Porsche is opposed to that. He doesn't want to be an egoist. He is responcible, he is a good son. It is cultural thing too, which I'm only now learning, so I hope I understand this enough not to make grave mistakes in my conclusions.
So, Porsche doesn't like egoists. Does Chay count himself as one if he let Porsche do such awful things for him like being in mortal danger? I think he does. When Porsche made stakes so much higher and didn't even tell Chay, all bets were off.
In the end (of the series) Porsche didn't change anything from this drastic situation Chay found himself after the kidnapping. So the changes were on Chay then. Chay is no longer trusts Porsche with his problems (he didn't in the past too, I guess, but there were little kid problems which Porsche didn't need a permission to solve). I guess there had to be a confrontation between Kittisawat brothers at the beginning of s02, where Chay's uni application would be the cause, but the reason would be elsewhere.
Well, we'll never know. I just think that Chay believed that he was solving something. Sacrificing his dreams to get off of his brother's back. Maybe he planned to run away, who knows. Or to join Porsche in that fighting on equal footing. One thing is clear to me: Chay didn't want a normal more or less safe life while his brother would be risking his. Yes, Porsche had other reason named Kinn. But what did Chay really thought of Kinn? Chay answered Kinn's questions, he tried to be friendly, but it was romantic love which tied Porsche to Kinn and romantic love just bit Chay on the throat. If Porsche is happy with Kinn, so be it. Chay thinks he can take care of himself so his brother wouldn't have to. Porsche was his age and supported them both. And Chay wants, Chay...
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And he still is barely 19. Kim reminded him that his decisions can have severe consequences. But the thing is, you can't be told about it. The only way out is through. Chay went that way.
He threw everything he loved in the trash (well, the guitar and all the WIK merch didn't fit but it's the thought that counts :)), because pursuing it makes him an egoist (and Kim talked about sacrifices too, they both were similar in the way that their older brothers let them pursue their dreams by cost of their own (and it's Kinn who let Kim have his long leash, Korn didn't let Kim shit, and Kinn is a hostage in exchange)) and is an empty canvas now. His talking shirt is giving us a hint.
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bambeebirdie · 1 year
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WAS NO ONE GOING TO TELL ME THEY REMADE TRIGUN OR WAS I JUST SUPPOSED TO FIGURE THAT OUT ON MY OWN?!?!?
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niuxita21 · 1 year
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Cinematic parallels
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bloodstainedcanines · 9 months
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fuck i forgot to reply
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imsilay · 8 months
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MANIA
obsessive love; very possessive and often jealous.
mdni NSFW! +18 cw: possessiveness, size k!nk, fem!reader, obsessive König, dominant König.
summary: König doesn’t wants you to leave him, even for a second. he finds excuses and makes it your problem so he could fuck you until you’re too sore to leave again.
i will post part 2 <3 (english isn’t my first language sorry for the mistakes) edit: posted! here
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art cr: @kinky-thirsty-reader
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He doesn’t like when you try to leave him…
After a long night, you were exhausted, your body sore from head to toe. You tried to sit up and leave the bed, but suddenly König's arm snaked around your waist and held you down. "Where do you think you're going, Prinzessin?" he whispered. "I need to shower." you mumbled as you put your hands on his forearms and tried to push him away, but it was a pathetic attempt. You were so powerless compared to him.
“So klein~” he cooed.
He chuckled at your struggles. "I don't think so, Schatz. You're staying here, in my bed, where you belong…" he purred, kissing the back of your neck and pulling you even closer, pressing your back against his chest. "König, stop the nonsense. Let go of me, i really need to shower." you protested— you wish you didn’t. His arms tightened around your midsection, reminding you that he could snap your spine effortlessly. "Are you talking back, Prinzessin? Did you forget you’re mine?" he whispered, his tone now edged with discontent. His grip was far from loving anymore. “Do i need to remind you?” he hissed, he would fuck you dumb until you understand that you’re his. His to use for his own satisfaction, his to kiss whenever he decided to do, his to touch wherever he wants. You were simply his.
When you realized you were in trouble, chills ran down your spine. You quickly apologized. "No, I was just... I don't like being sweaty. I'm sorry." Your apology made him loosen his grip a little. He placed a tender kiss on your neck. He turned you around as if you weighed nothing and pressed you against his chest.
“Hmm... let's see," his voice teased, his eyes twinkling with mischief. He sat up, leaning his back against the headboard and had you straddle him. He lowered his hands from your waist to your thighs and gently caressed them. You let out a groan of relief and wrapped your arms around his neck, savoring the sensation of your lover's massage on your sore muscles. However, your relief was short-lived because he wasn't finished with you yet. "You tried to escape my bed. So you need to be punished, Hase." He squeezed your thighs until the pain in your sore muscles became almost unbearable.
You cried and whined but he shushed you softly, soothing you. “We’re not done, Liebling.” It was clear that his tone had changed again. The anger and firmness had given way to something more gentle, almost loving.
You slurred something for forgiveness and apologize nonstop. “Don't be sorry, Hase. I didn't like seeing you try to escape from me." he said with a hint of a pout. "But I think i can make a exception for you this time. What about you let me…" his rough hands slowly caressed your inner thighs making you shiver and gasp in anticipation. “use you as i please, then maybe i could let you rest.” he murmured as his hand found its way to your already wet panties. Your breath hitched and you squirmed on his lap as he teased your cunt through your panties until you’re soaked for him.
“You’re so easy to seduce, Schatz.” he chuckled lightly but his voice stained with pure lust. He lifted your chin up with his free hand to take a look at your lovely face. Your eyes red, your skin flush from all the crying and stimulation. It was all for him… right?
“Immer so empfindlich, wenn ich so mit dir spiele.” (Always so sensitive when I play with you like this.) he mumbled in German like he always did. You never understand what he said -mind foggy with lust and too focused to chase that sweet release.
He grinned with a proud expression and mumbled to himself. “Braves Mädchen.” he whispered before lifting his balaclava up just enough to capture your lips in a long passionate kiss.
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a/n: please support me by reblogging, if you liked it <3
a/n: also i post everyday -sometimes 2 posts in a day- so if you follow me i won’t disappoint ;)
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busanboykoo · 7 months
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Champagne Confetti ⋆ j.jk
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summary ⋆ “you won't regret me, champagne confetti” or maybe just jungkook wants you to tell him what you want him to do to you.
pairing ⋆ racer!jk x reader
genre ⋆ smüt, a little plot, fluff?
warning ⋆ püssy whipped!himbo!kook, they’re so in lovvve but jungkook is much more in love!! fingëring, reader is pathetically horny, messy make out with reader’s püssy, puthay eating. squirting??? lover jungkook always, cüssing & overstimulation oh and mention of his brow piercing cause why not?!!
notes ⋆ ok so i just got back to writing smut aaand it’s been a while so wait for me until i improvise back to what i used to right!! and also a huge thanks to clover lover @dollfaceksj for beta-ing ⭐️ ily!! thank u sm <3 — word count ⋆ 2.5k !!
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“I want you.”
These three words were the one that put you under this situation.
Right under him as he settled himself between your legs. Everything about now felt hot. The AC is on full power but the heat you’re feeling is hotter than anything.
Your brows are cinched when Jungkook places his hand on your thighs, the rough skin of his palm on your soft skin smoothly, pressing and kneading on the flesh. He is comfortably kneeling between your legs, his control face now relaxed.
“Tell me what you want.” His eyes flick between yours and down to your exposed and soaked panties in return, biting on his scarlet lips. Your skin feels tingly, your forehead beginning to create a sheen of sweat. Your room is getting hotter and hotter and the AC is not helping at all.
You’re so quiet, not even sounding like the minx you were mere seconds ago. “C’mon, baby,” Jungkook encourages, wanting to hear you loud and clear for him.
You want him. You want everything all at once.
You still can’t erase the memories of him racing half an hour ago. How his skillful hand gripped the wheel, how his thighs flexed as he controlled the gas pedal or how he kept his jaw clenched and eyes focused on the foggy road with a stern yet soft, ‘hold on tight’ when he sped up before drifting for the hundredth time.
The ‘whoo-hoo’s and applause from both of your racer friends and their partners was a bonus — and him winning first place made you want him to do every sinful thing to you.
You want Jungkook so bad all over your skin. Want him to kiss you, want him to bite on your skin, bruise you with weeks-lasting love bites. You can’t just fathom the need that’s circulating through your blood.
A soft squeeze on your ankle makes your thoughts focus on Jungkook again, who is staring at you with need and desire. “Speak up, baby. Need to know what’s going on inside that pretty head of yours,” he taunts.
“You’ll do what I want?” Your voice is barely audible for you, airy with lust. You’re feeling the wetness of your own cunt between your thighs and you’re one-hundred percent sure Jungkook can spot the dark spot on your panties beneath your skirt.
Jungkook just gives you an eager nod.
“I’ll do whatever you want,” he whispers while leaning to give you a soft but calculated peck on your lips. “Just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.” He sounds so confident, smirking against your lips when your breathy whimper surfaces out.
Jungkook always likes being on top. He makes weird excuses saying he wants to see how pretty you are when you break under him. He’s just whipped to see you in pleasure, fighting to fill your lungs with air and crying when you cum.
“Wa-want you to touch me.” You don’t like how your voice cracks, making Jungkook’s stupid smirk grow more. You’re so pathetic when you’re horny.
You hate it. He loves it.
“Touch you where?” he asks, coaxing his head a little. Oh, so, he’s teasing?
“Jeon, please.” You blink, your throat drying up without even getting started. “Need you s’much, I want to feel you!” Your voice raises to a higher pitch.
Jungkook thinks you’re very lucky he is way too needy or it’s would have ended up making you cry just by torturing and teasing. So, Jungkook pushes your legs further apart, making himself much more comfortable.
“Gonna start all the way from here.” He presses his finger against your covered clit, adding pressure. Your legs twitch, almost closing but his body stills you. “How about that?”
You just give him a weak nod, too overwhelmed from the sudden touch against your sensitive spot.
Jungkook starts to slide up and down your clothed pussy, making your panties grind against your folds, his index finger now coated with your arousal. “Words, pretty girl.”
You mewl when he adds even more pressure.
“Yes, please,” you moan, head falling back against your pillow.
Jungkook swallows the urge to just undress you and fuck you sensless. He needs to get you ready so he won’t hurt you. But mostly, he wants to taste you first. And so, your boyfriend removes his jacket from his body and tosses it somewhere across the room.
Latching his fingers from your sex, making you cry and annoyed with the sudden disappearance of his touch and your pleasure. “This needs to go.” He runs his fingers to your hips before he tugs your panties and skirt down to your ankle, chuckling when you quickly push them off, before tossing them aside by yourself.
“Easy, baby. I’m not going anywhere without making you cum,” he states, getting back to where he left you.
This time he doesn’t tease you, he just keeps your gaze locked with his as he settles himself between your legs on his stomach and drapes your left leg on his shoulder. He pushes your other leg further before pinning it with his strong grip.
You take a deep breath, ready to be blown to the sky and see the stars he wants you to. He starts kissing your inner thigh, his eyes still locked with yours.
“Jeon,” you threaten, wanting him to stop his silly games and finally go down on you. But your boyfriend just giggles, eyes squinting and brow piercing twitching.
“But it’s so fun to see you like this,” he persists, making your chest tighten with impatience.
“I swear, Jun— aah!” Your threat is short-lived when Jungkook wraps his lips around your pearl, making you jolt forward and almost sit up.
Starting off gently, his wet muscle just presses against your clit, not moving but just letting his saliva smear and trail its way to your pussy.
“Hmm, move.” You don’t understand why he won’t listen to you. He asked what you wanted and now that you’ve told him, he decides to pull this stunt?
Jungkook just watches you with a knitted brows, his jaw tensing from the position he’s set now. He decides it’s enough and starts to move his tongue in an ‘eight’ motion. You spread your thighs wider, silently begging for him to give you the pleasure you want.
He leans back, admiring how your slit leaks. You prop up by your elbows and your cheeks start to heat up when Jungkook just stares at your sex.
“No,” he says when you start to close your legs, feeling shy all over again. “Keep ‘em open.” He brings his index and middle to your folds before parting them, exposing your cunt to him.
“You’re staring weird!” You try to defend, attempting to swing your legs off his shoulders but he’s fast enough to roughly pull you back by your ankle and pin the other back.
“No. I'm admiring what’s mine.”
His words reach your ears and it makes you mentally roll your eyes. You want to play who-said-so but you also don’t want to end up being left without a blinding orgasm pending.
“Kook, please, that’s enoug–” You can’t even finish your words again when he’s back at your leaking sex. Rougher, more eager.
“Oh, God.” Your back arches, making Jungkook’s suction on your pussy disrupt which causes him to groan. You swear you can see the stars on the back of your eyelids now. He roughly pushes your body down by your pelvis and huffs a ‘stay still’ before grinding his nose into your sensitive folds.
Jungkook makes his way down to your slit, his tongue circling your tight hole. Your short but deep breath has his dick twitching under his leather pants, making the fabric even tighter than it is.
“Yes, yes! Yes, please, Kook.” Your gasping voice only makes it harder for him. His hand, the one that was pinning your leg to the bed, slides down to palm himself.
“Mhm.” He moans to your cunt and you cry out, your fingers tangled in your hair, trying to distract yourself from the sudden stimulation but it ends with you giving yourself even more pleasure.
He brings his hand from his pants right back to your sopping sex, fingers replacing what he couldn’t get in his mouth, sucking and fucking you both with his skillful mouth and finger.
This is extreme, everything becomes too much. More than what you can take. “Jungkook,” you sigh, throat drying up much more and only silent mewls leaving your lips.
“This what you wanted?” he asks, middle finger circling your entrance. “This all you wanted or still want more?” He’s so good with his words, it makes you cave.
You sound so brittle when you speak and Jungkook bites his lips to sustain the moan. “You’re gonna give up on me, baby?” he asks, making your nipple ache underneath your bra. “I haven’t fucked you probably yet and you’re gonna pass out?” It’s like he’s boo-ing you.
“N-no.” You try to catch your breath.
“No?”
“No.”
Jungkook grins, he’s gonna fuck you up.
Your eyes squeeze shut when he pushes to digits at once. “That’s it, yeaaah.” He places a kiss on your nub as a reward, and it is indeed a reward.
“Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!” Your voice is sharp and thin when you cry, tears filling your waterline and rolling down your temples. “Kook!” you cry out when he’s knuckles deep like he’s searching for something that’s his.
“You can take it, they’re just my fingers.” You’re in the middle of losing your life and he says that. For fucks sake. “Fuck, you’re so tight.” Jungkook interjects and starts moving his fingers. He pulls them out to the tip of his fingers then pushes them back deep to the hilt.
“Shoulda brought the vibrator today,” he gruffly says and if it wasn’t for his fingers buried in you, you would have given him a sassy eye roll. “Wish you could see your face, you’re so pretty.” He leans in again, giving your pussy a wet smooch so loud that it fills the room with a wet kissing sound.
Nothing like this was planned today but now look at you, under him, withering away.
Your hands shake as you try to find anything to hold on to that could help you brace yourself from the orgasm that’s approaching you. “Jung— Jungko…?!” You’re wailing at this point, crying and yelling at the same time.
Jungkook’s nose flares as his hand picks up its pace, making a ‘come here’ motion that has you on edge. “You’re gonna cum,” he tells you as if it’s not obvious, helping you by securing your shaking hand and bringing it to his hair. “Hold on to me.”
He’s going to fucking kill you.
“I’m gonna… I’m gon— hgnh!” you grunt, eyes screwed shut and pulling on Jungkook’s locks. “I’m here, hold on to me.” If it wasn’t for your own boyfriend cradling your legs and restraining them, you would’ve kicked him in his face and bruised him badly.
Your lungs tighten once again and stars explode behind your closed eyelids as your orgasm washes over you.
The worst part is — Jungkook hasn't pulled his fingers out yet. “No, please, Jungkook, it's too much!” You try to sit up, hands leaving his hair and wrapping around his wrist.
“Jungkook, I just came, it’s too much. I can’t.”
But your whines fall upon deaf ears.
“One more.” He is determined to pull one more out of you but you just shake your head. “Please, baby, one more and then I’ll stop.”
You moan when he repeatedly curls his fingers in your pussy and something inexplicable in you bubbles this time. Nothing like before.
“Stop, wait…” Your sweaty fingers on Jungkook’s wrist try to remove his hand from your aching cunt but he just shoves your hand away from him. And that reminds you how you almost forget that he is much stronger than you.
“Stop pushing me away,” he grunts this time, finger fucking you tougher than he ever has. You’re practically shaking whole. “You asked for it, so take it—”
You can’t make out what he says after that, your ears ringing louder and eyes blinded by the orgasm that hits you.
“Fuuuck,” Jungkook moans, keeping his hand buried inside you, slowing his pace when you cum. You’re not aware of anything until he pulls them out of you.
“Didn’t know you could do that.” He ogles at his shining fingers, your arousal drenching his fingers down to his knuckle and making a mini pool in his palm.
It takes you a hot solid minute for your eyes to clear, tears subsiding and now hearing what’s around you neat. You prop on your elbows and watch his doe eyes stare at his fingers then back at you before chuckling, truly amazed.
“You squirted all over me, baby.” You can’t help but give him a broken smile. “And I did that,” he adds, proud that he caused this mess.
“Looks like a fucking champagne confetti.” With your silence taking over again and your whole face and chest burning, your boyfriend shows you his hand as if you don’t believe him. “You don’t believe me? Look.”
Your eyes widen, cheeks warming up once again. “Kook, stop!” you whine and his laugh echoes through your bedroom wall.
Right after you both subside from your laughs, you watch Jungkook bring your skirt from the floor and wipe the mess you made — your slick nectar all over his nose to his chin. Even on the ends of his dark bangs, causing a few strands to stick to his forehead.
Once he’s down, your boyfriend lifts himself up and you can’t help but notice the bulge under his leather pants. You start to shift your spot from the bed but stop when you hear him ask, “What’re you doing?”
You don’t speak much, glancing down to the tent below his pelvis. “It’s fine, you should rest.” He smiles, leaning and touching your cheek stained with dried up tears.
“But—”
Jungkook just shakes his head. “It’s fine, princess, I’ll go take a shower and deal with it.”
You frown, get up from the bed and rise to your feet before you wiggle yourself out of your top. You catch Jungkook staring at you shamelessly.
“You know, I’m so lucky to have you.” He starts to pull his cum-drenched shirt from his body. “You’re so fucking pretty and sexy, it’s crazy.” Jungkook admits he just fell in love all over again when he sees you like this — bare and naked in front of him.
“Let’s go shower.” You stick your hand out for him to take and he happily intertwines his fingers with yours before tugging you into the bathroom, you giggling like an idiot and Jungkook grinning like a moron.
And well, let’s just say, the night didn’t end like that, with a simple shower, but an intense fuck session under the shower’s faucet.
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© busanboykoo — 031023 | thank you for reading!
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meiieiri · 2 months
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𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫 [toji fushiguro]
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synopsis: so she tells him not to cry over the injustice of a life cut too short for at the end of all this, she’ll only be a dream.
pairing: ex-husband!toji fushiguro x terminally ill wife!reader | song inspo: soon you’ll get better, cancer
warnings: heavy angst, terminal illness (primary bone cancer, stroke and MS), mentions of divorce/past infidelity, allegories to cheating, major character death. please read at your own risk. | a/n: this was so heavy for me to write, i started writing at 2 in the morning, and it’s 6:34 now.
word count. 3k~
“Why can’t you do anything right?”
Toji should have noticed, he laments as he takes a sip of his cognac. He should have sensed that something was wrong sooner, maybe that way, he wouldn’t be begging to borrow some more time to make things right. Your fingers were trembling that day — the first time you ever ruined his morning coffee — your hands shaking uncontrollably as you washed the mug with a sorrowful look on your face, your eyes glossy with the tears you were desperately trying to hold back.
He shouldn’t have been so harsh, he realizes that now. Breakfast had been burnt to a crisp and ruined, sure, but nothing could compare to how he constantly ruins the one beautiful thing that has ever happened to him, who haphazardly spilled her smoothie on him when they first bumped into each other in Shinjuku just after he finally cashed in enough money with Shiu to get his laundry done.
Toji, whose senses have now been honed to pick up on the slightest of your sluggish movements and your pained and suppressed hisses, hears the bedsheets rustling and he instantly gets up before you could even force yourself out of bed. “Hey, hey, easy now.” He catches you before you could fall backwards onto the mattress, your skin appears cold and clammy, your thinning muscles stiff as a board — you must be having one of your episodes again. “What do you need?” he asks, his voice heartbreakingly gentle for the first time in months.
“Water.”
Your husband nods, swinging his feet over the edge of the bed, hurriedly making his way to the dining table which was now kept in your bedroom so you aren’t forced to move around too much. The sound of water splashing into the glass fills the air and you feel another stabbing pain coarse through your joints.
Toji gingerly brings the glass of water to your lips and you sighed, an exasperated yet amused smile on your face. “I can do it, babe. Don’t worry.” Why did that sound like you were trying to convince not just Toji but yourself? You bring your bony hands to grip the glass and it takes everything out of your husband not to break into a fit of sobs when he sees your hand violently shaking with effort just to keep the glass steady.
His larger hands close around your defeated one. “I-I…I can do it, I did it yesterday. Y-you saw me.”
“Shhh, I know, it’s okay.”
You bite your lip to distract yourself from the anguish of realizing the truth behind the doctor’s words. Everything you feared was finally becoming your and Toji’s bleak reality.
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“It’ll be a painful decline.”
Funny how you’re the one fighting to extend your life but Toji feels like he’s already gone ahead and passed on. Just a few minutes earlier, you were overjoyed to see him again. You didn’t think he’d see your text thinking that his new girlfriend must have asked him to block your number, and you most certainly didn’t expect him to arrive when you asked for him via a brief phone call to drive you to the hospital for your monthly checkup since he took the car with him when you separated. He made up a bullshit excuse when Yuko asked where he was going in such a hurry and he makes it to your old shared apartment to see you sitting on the driveway looking thinner and sicklier than ever — your eyes were sunken, and your cheeks were hollow.
Yet in spite of that, you gave him the brightest of smiles, waving shyly to him as he steps out of the driver’s seat. “Happy morning!” you smiled, greeting him with your signature good morning tagline which he used to happily wake up to everyday. There wasn’t a scintilla of resentfulness in your demeanor, and you genuinely looked so happy to see him for the first time since he moved out.
“How long?” Toji asked the doctor, his heart twisted into knots when he hears you happily humming in the MRI room as you put your clothes back on, oblivious to the solemn mood in the other room. You already knew what was going on, but you’ll just continue pretending that everything’s alright and that this is nothing more but a case of fatigue so as not to inconvenience Toji.
“A year, maybe even less.”
“And…you’re saying it’s best if she simply…doesn’t get the treatment?”
The doctor sighs heavily. She’s seen many cases like this before, but none as utterly hopeless as yours. Even if you did start the treatment, the lesions in your spinal cord have already entered the most severe stage, you were already exhibiting signs of autonomic nervous system distress — the tremors, the uncontrollable stuttering of your words, the growing loss of balance — and as if that wasn’t enough, the doctor also discovers that you were suffering from primary osteosarcoma.
There was no way to cure you now that it’s too late.
“I suggest we just focus on keeping her comfortable. The only thing left for us to do now is to bring her home. I’m so sorry.”
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“You’re so fucking embarrassing. I can’t bring you anywhere.”
By some miracle, you and Toji went out one night around four months before the divorce proceedings. He went home that day, exhausted beyond all belief from another mission, but he was in a good mood. Yuko was out working late tonight, so, he decides to take you out to your and his favorite izakaya for some yakitori.
Some time during the night, after downing three full bottles of sake together, you excuse yourself to use the restroom. “I’ll be right back,” you told Toji, tipsily kissing him on the cheek as you hop off the bar stool in the direction of the women’s room.
You couldn’t tell if you were staggering from the copious amounts of alcohol you ingested, but your legs were beginning to feel heavy, and for some ominous reason, you were slowly losing all sensation in your left leg. You try to hold onto one of the izakaya’s shōji panel decor pieces to regain your balance, but it was a futile effort in the end. Your knees suddenly buckle, and a sickening crack tears through your tibia as you fall to the ground.
“Are you alright?!”
Toji picks up on the commotion instantly and he sees the izakaya patrons crowding around the hallway leading to the restroom. He quickly makes his way over and a look of disgust appears on his features when he sees you crumpled on the ground and the mortifying sight of you having relieved yourself on the floor, tears of embarrassment staining your cheeks at the thought of your body suddenly malfunctioning like this.
Muttering out an ignorant apology for his seemingly drunk wife, he roughly picks you up, growing increasingly infuriated with you when one izakaya employee offers him a damp cloth to dry out your urine with. It was funny how quickly other people came to your aid — people whose names you don’t even know — while your own husband seems very reluctant to even touch you right now. He doesn’t speak to you on the way home even as you apologize while he’s loading you into the car, grimacing when the leather seat gets wet. “Toji, I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened—“
“—Save it.”
What he should have said was: “Are you okay?”, “It’s alright.” or better yet, “I still love you.”.
At present, Toji decides on a whim to take you to Yokohama’s famed bayside today. It’s only a two hour drive from your place in Tokyo and Toji figures you must miss going on road trips by now with you cooped up at home all the time. “Toji, are you sure this is a good idea?” you murmured nervously as the car pulls to a stop by the bayside promenade. What happens if you can’t control yourself again? There doesn’t look to be a lot of public restrooms nearby.
Toji plants a reassuring kiss to your nose. “Babe, you remember what the doctor said, spending some time outdoors can do wonders for your health. Besides, didn’t you always love the coast?” He brings your hand to his scarred lips, rubbing his thumb against the soft skin before stepping out of the car to retrieve your wheelchair from the trunk.
“I know but what if I have another accident?” you said worriedly, rolling down the car windows so he could hear you. “What if I embarrass you again?”
“There’s nothing embarrassing about you.”
You’ve lost all control of your lower extremities three months ago, rendering you unable to walk and feel when you need to relieve yourself. Toji struggles with the wheelchair for a bit and a flash of sadness fills your heart when you see him take a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He wasn’t angry, he was devastated. He looks wistfully at the boardwalk, a distant gaze trained on the sea. He remembers when you used to walk down this very lane, his hand protectively around your waist as you happily take selfies. He could still hear your fond giggles the last time the two of you went here.
“Why don’t you ever smile when I take pictures of you?”
Toji shoos away a pigeon from stealing a bite of his ice cream sandwich. He feigns an unamused look when you try to take another picture of him on your phone.
“Come on, I’ve been trying to get a shot of you all day! You still have to take pictures of me so I can post it on my Instagram feed!”
Your ever moody husband pinches off a small piece of bread and feeds it to the nosy pigeon. “You and your precious feed,” he bemoans jokingly.
“Please? Just one picture!“ you playfully nudged him. Truthfully, you just wanted to see him smile for once, a genuine one and not one of those lopsided smirks he usually gives you when he’s teasing you. “Please?” you pout knowing he can never say no to that adorable face you make when you really want him to do something or worse, buy something for you.
Sighing, he turns to look at your phone’s camera lens and you blush when a smile slowly illuminates his usually stoic face. Your thumb hovers over the stop recording function, not realizing you’re taking a video, but you can’t seem to press it. “What’s taking so long?” he holds the smile like he’s some cartoon character and you snap out of it.
“Oh shoot, it’s a video!” you laughed, and you begin to run down the boardwalk, eagerly getting away from Toji who demands that you delete it immediately. Of course, you’re no match for his borderline inhuman speed attributed to his athletic physique and he catches you by the waist, playfully swinging you over his shoulder like you’re a sack of potatoes.
Now, your giggles have gone silent.
Toji realizes now he should have indulged you more over the course of your relationship and subsequent marriage. Had he known that you won’t even make it to your third wedding anniversary, he would have allowed you to take as many pictures and videos of him as you’d like, he’d swallow his pride and he’d give you the brightest of smiles so you could happily post him on your social media accounts with a heartwarming caption about him being your “smiley hubby”.
More than that though, he should have taken more photos of you, mostly stolen candid shots, of course. You can’t catch him being all soft on you now. He still has a reputation to live up to after all. But more than that, had he known that your illness was intent on stealing every scrap of you from him, he should have made more effort in preserving all these memories. He should have kept everything from those toll tickets on your late night drives together when the two of you just needed a quick escape from the world, to receipts from your trip to Tokyo Disney Sea on your first wedding anniversary, and even simple convenience store receipts.
Toji should have kept everything down to the smallest of memories knowing one day, that’s all he’ll have to remember you by.
He opens the passenger seat’s door and he effortlessly gathers you into his arms, being extra careful with your fragile form as he sits you down on the wheelchair. He opens the backseat and he pulls out two different colored blankets, one sea-foam green and the other, rose pink. “Take your pick,” he smiles at you and you chuckled softly, pointing to the rose pink one. He happily covers your legs with it to keep you warm, stroking your cheek when you whisper a bashful ‘thank you’.
Suddenly, the wind picks up and your hair-clip that’s holding your locks in a low bun comes loose, and your head turns in the direction of where it flew off to. Toji is quick to take out his phone and he snaps a quick burst shot of you, your hair blowing in the wind, under the coastal spring weather. You turn to look at him and your face falls when you see him burying his phone in his pocket. Since you fell ill, you’ve become insecure of your appearance, banning your husband from taking pictures and videos of you altogether. “Toji, I thought I said no pictures.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
The next day, you serendipitously find your photo on your Instagram handle with the caption: “Y/N — Yokohama, Spring, 2024” and when you swipe left, another picture, well to be more accurate, a screenshot of the video clip you accidentally took of him captioned: “Toji — Yokohama, Summer, 2022”.
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“You don’t have to stick around for me. Please just go, I’m sure Yuko must be looking for you right now.”
Yuko, his new fiancé, had been blowing up his phone the entire day with texts demanding to know where he is and if he’s going to make it to their date that night. It’s 7 PM now, and Toji still hasn’t shown up to confirm their restaurant reservations. The damn witch will surely cuss him out when they see each other again, but for some reason, even if he tries, he simply cannot bring himself to give a flying fuck. Your immunologist and oncologist stepped out for a bit to allow you two a brief moment of privacy which had now stretched to an expanse of five hours since your results came in.
The air in the room is thick and heavy, not a single sound can be heard. Inside however, underneath this tough exterior he was projecting, Toji is throwing a fit, screaming at the sky like those broken men in those shitty Netflix romance tragedies he used to callously make fun of.
“Why didn’t you call me sooner? You knew, didn’t you?”
Toji’s bites his cheek trying to keep a lid on his emotions. He knows the answer. He just wants to hear you say it out loud. You hated him. You wanted nothing to do with him after he cheated on you with some girl he met at a bar in uptown Shibuya. That’s why you didn’t tell him, he didn’t deserve to know. “Shit,” he whispers harshly, crumpling the medical abstract in his hands. “Why didn’t you tell me you were sick? Was it because you hated me? Is that it? You didn’t think I’d worry about you?”
You screwed your eyes shut, shaking your head. You didn’t hate him, not even when you have every reason to. He abandoned you, left you to waste away and to die and yet, even now, you can’t bring yourself to resent him for the simple reason that he is the literal love of your life, the reason behind your smiles, your happy mornings and passionate midnight hours. “At first, I thought I was fine, maybe just fatigued or something.”
“Don’t lie. You knew something was going on and that something in your body was seriously fucked up.”
“And we weren’t married anymore so, I didn’t think it was right to tell you…I wanted to though, but I didn’t want to intrude on you and Yuko,” you said meekly. Even in your greatest hour of need, you were still thinking of him, putting him first even when he doesn’t deserve it. “I-I…I don’t hate you enough to worry you, to make you feel that you could have done something to prevent this. Because I’m telling you right now, regardless if you were faithful or not, I was bound to get sick anyway. You couldn’t have done anything to change that.”
“But I could have been there. I should have noticed. I shouldn’t have downplayed everything.” He says this as if he wants to shake this noble, self-sacrificing bullshit attitude out of your system. “I’m your husband. I should have been there.”
You flash him a heartbroken smile at his little slip-up, so, even now, he was still referring to himself as your husband, not your ex-husband. “To see me waste away? Babe, I don’t want you to see that.”
You begin to feel tears streaming down your face, the emotions you were experiencing now flowing like a free river after an entire dam is destroyed. Toji watches you unravel before his eyes and his bottom lip begins to tremble. What has he done? Dear god, what has he done to his poor, poor wife?
“I want you to remember me healthy, I want you to remember me as myself not this…sickly pitiful woman you’re unlucky to call your ex-wife…besides, after all this, I’ll only be a dream.” A mere passing second in his life. “And believe me, my life wasn’t so bad.”
He loses it at that.
“Just stop this, Y/N! Stop acting like you’re not scared shitless of dying, like you’re not gonna have regrets once all this is over! Stop pretending that things are gonna be alright one day because it won’t! Not when I’m now being forced to accept that you won’t get better, not when I’ve wasted so much time putting you through hell and back instead of taking care of you like a proper husband should, and certainly not when I’m suddenly supposed to learn to say goodbye and to live without you! Because fuck that, Y/N!”
You are left speechless at that.
Toji was never one to lose his cool, even during your worst arguments, he may slide a few snarky remarks here and there but Toji Fushiguro…never yells, and he doesn’t sob either.
You hesitantly stand up and walk over to him, crouching down in front of him as he covers his tear-stained eyes with his right hand while the other is crumpled around your medical abstract. Taking his left hand, you gently remove the medical abstract from his grip, and for the first time in so many months, you feel one another’s warm skin against each other. You press your forehead to his hand as you wept with him.
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want you to be a dream. I want you to be real.”
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“Can’t you be bothered to clean up in here?!”
You wake up from your nap, you’ve been battling muscle and joint pain the entire day, the slightest of movement causing you to double over in agony and because of that, you weren’t able to clean the apartment today. You slowly get up from the couch, being extra cautious not to make any sudden movements. “Well?” Toji presses, his lips curled into a scowl.
“I’m sorry, I was feeling a little tired,” you sighed heavily, picking up a broom to sweep the living room floor despite the excruciating pain you were in. Toji rolls his eyes, handing you a Manila envelope. “What’s this?” you asked softly, peering inside.
“Divorce papers,” he shrugs nonchalantly. Everything stops, even the very rise and fall of your chest halts into an uneasy stasis. “I already signed them. I just need your signature then, I’ll move out by tomorrow.”
You must be dreaming. That’s the only logical explanation to all this. You’re asleep, in a deep REM sleep, utterly oblivious to the world. This wasn’t happening. But you could feel the rough surface of the brown envelope, and you could still feel the agonizing stabs of white hot pain throughout your body. Glancing at Toji, you see him texting someone with an eager look on his face that screams: “I’m free.”.
Instantly, it dawns on you.
“Will she make you happy?” you asked, putting down the broom to look around for a pen but Toji pulls one he stole from the law firm office out of his pocket.
“She will,” he answers simply.
And you are indeed grateful that he is completely upfront about finding another while the two of you are married. It would have hurt much more, you silently remind yourself, if he had just upped and left without another word leaving you to wonder what went wrong between the two of you. This was Toji’s final act of mercy in your marriage, and he’s not opposed to honesty and truthfulness either. Not once did he try to change his phone’s lock-screen passcode, nor did he try to conceal the identity of the woman who was texting him every night while you slept fitfully next to him. It was almost as if he wanted you to find out, like he wanted you to know so you could back off yourself.
But if there’s one thing Toji loves about you, it’s your unending faithfulness to your promises, to your marriage vows, and your willingness to endure anything he threw at you. You never checked his phone, you never brought up his affair, you never got angry with him. You just kept silent, simply content with giving and giving…and giving while he milked you dry by taking, and taking and taking, tearing you to pieces bit by bit without hearing a single complaint fall from your lips.
You were a devoted wife, through and through.
And it bored the hell out of him, on top of your recent mishaps, he was done. Done with everything, and done with you.
“Okay.”
Come morning, he takes everything he owns with him and promptly proposes to the girl he’s been seeing for the past year. Two weeks later, your divorce is received by the Tokyo Family Court and is summarily approved and finalized. From that moment on, you and Toji went on your separate ways never to look back, you were each other’s yesterdays, and the love that existed between the two of you was nullified in favor of acquaintanceship…or so you thought.
“Y/N, I’m home!” Toji calls into the house as he comes back from your neighborhood’s pharmacy. You look up from the book you were reading, smiling ever so slightly at your husband who seemed to have a wonderful sparkle in his eyes. “Hey, kid,” he kisses the top of your head when he reaches your wheelchair.
“You seem happy,” you remarked positively.
“Well, for one, they replenished their stocks today and I managed to get you your steroids and painkillers so you’ll be able to sleep easy tonight,” Toji smiles, taking out the items from the pharmacy’s paper bag. “And I got you this neat memory foam cushion for your wheelchair.” He fluffs it up as a form of demonstration before placing it behind your back.
When he sees you smile, a sense of relief washes over Toji. You reach towards him, and he pulls you into an embrace. “Thank you,” you said, pure sincerity dripping from your voice. “For everything you do.”
“Anything for you.” He suddenly moves back and reaches into the tote bag you lended him. “Oh, and wait, before I forget, I have another surprise.”
You laughed airily. “Another surprise? Now, you’re just spoiling me!”
He pulls out a piece of paper from the tote bag and he places it in your hands as your eyes quickly scan over the document. Your breath hitches in your throat when you realize what it is. Did Toji really—? You couldn’t believe it. “A marriage pre-registration,” you said in awe. You read it again just in case to make sure that this wasn’t a figment of your sick body’s imagination, that this was real, that Toji genuinely wants to make everything right again. Your fingers skim over your typewritten names. “It has our names…we’re really—“ You can’t even finish your sentence without bursting into happy tears. “Are we—?”
Toji nods, gazing into your eyes, and as emerald and (E/C) clash for what seems to be an eternity lost in one another, he plants a kiss to your temple, coming up to embrace you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder.
“We are. The Tokyo Family Court, as far as I know, will approve our remarriage once we file this. So, you have to get stronger, okay?” He’s begging you at this point, despite your rapidly deteriorating condition. “Strong enough to see me fix everything. Strong enough to be there on our second wedding, strong enough to say our vows again.”
Your hand comes up to stroke his cheek from behind, and he nuzzles into your neck at your tender touch.
“I will. I promise.”
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But you never really get to say your vows. Not comprehensibly anyway.
“Babe, can you say that again?”
Toji crouches by your bedside as you look at him apologetically. You were causing him trouble and pain again which is the last thing that you want to give him especially when’s fought and worked so hard to care for you, to keep prolonging this borrowed time you’re on. “To-ji. Toji.” You gaze at him apprehensibly, not really believing you can do it without crumbling.
“Come on, babe, you can do it. Say my name, please…Toji. I’m Toji.”
“Toooji-“ you slurred sadly. At this point, your Multiple Sclerosis has reached its end stage and has taken…everything from you: your ability to walk, your ability to control your muscle spasms and other bodily functions…and now, coupled with an unexpected stroke, your ability to speak. And you and Toji know that time is almost up, with you having come to accept it, while your husband still held onto hope. Your fingers gently graze over his face as best as your spasms and tremors allow you, starting from his forehead to his eyes, his nose, his cheek and finally, his lips, as if you’re memorizing it one last time. “Lo-ove you-“
Toji sniffles, and your fingers instinctively catch his warm tears. “I love you,” he whispers brokenly. “I do. I love you.”
You feel yourself tearing up as you’re forced to watch your beloved cry. And the worst part? You can’t do a thing about it. “D-oon’t c-cry—‘m okaay. Promi-miise…e’everyything ‘ill be okaaay.”
“Y-yeah,” he chuckles, trying to crack a joke even as hope dwindles. “You’ve been nothing but a fucking champ this entire time, you know? I’m so proud of you. So…so…proud that you’re still here.” He strokes your hair as you tread between the realms of the conscious and the unconscious. “Do you wanna go out today? The weather’s shit though. You’ll probably catch your death out there.” At the mention of the word ‘death’, Toji stops, falling into an uncomfortable silence.
You smile weakly at him. “Tiiredd—“
“You’re no fun,” Toji gently flicks your nose and you scrunch it up in displeasure. “Sorry,” he chuckles, holding back an entire waterfall of tears. He knows it’s today. It has to be. You woke up today without your usual ‘happy morning’ greeting, and you refused to drink anything, much less eat anything. “You tired? Any pain?”
You shake your head. You’re as comfortable as you can be for the first time in months. Hospice nurses say humans are built to live the same way they are built to die, no person in this world has ever had the uncanny privilege of being able to look up ‘How to die?’ on a quick Google search and actually find a Wikihow on the morbid subject matter, nor is there anyone else who can teach another how it’s done. It’s just something humans know how to do without a manual, deeply ingrained in the very fabric of human existence is the fear of death, the fear of what comes after, the fear of a nothingness that could follow after living such a vibrant life. Your life was short, barely spanning thirty years, but you lived well: you fell in love, you got hurt, but you fell together again. Now it all has to come to an end, Toji will just have to take care of the rest.
And you weren’t scared.
Or at least you can’t look scared, if you were to be more accurate, you have to look strong and ready to accept the cards you’ve been dealt with for Toji’s sake. When he feels your hand start to slacken, Toji intakes a sharp, shaky breath of sheer panic. “Not yet, Y/N. Please. Not yet.”
He climbs into bed with you, bringing you closer to this desperate man you call yours. There was no getting better anymore, there was no miracle he could hang onto, no deity he could beg for death to spare you, no pill bottle he could pray to. He knew that from the start. But what he witnessed these past months, you’ve been the braver one between the two of you, you knew how to make the most of the rhythm this cruel world gave you and you graciously took him along to dance to the last song of the evening with you.
“There’s still hope. Just keep your eyes open. Just keep them open.” He presses his lips to your forehead, his delusion getting the better of him. “We’ll just keep trying…you can’t leave. You have to stay. You have to.”
“Thaank yoou—“ you softly told your Toji, your voice shrinking in decibels as you become a little drowsy, sinking into the warmth of the requiem of a life well spent.
Toji listens to you, his lips pursed, intent on making this final act of love — a love that is strong enough to say goodbye — a memorable one. And should the afterlife exist, he wishes to send you off with a smile, with the reassurance that he’ll be alright even if that was far from happening.
“Toji.”
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“I want you to be real. And I don’t care if we’ll live on borrowed time. Another extra second with you…is enough to last me my entire lifetime.”
2K notes · View notes
cherry-leclerc · 16 days
Text
the set up ☆ ln4
genre: fluff, humor, parent trip vibes from oscahhh, strangers to lovers (bc of course it is), uni!reader
word count: 2.12k
Caught up in work, you find time to join your friends at the McLaren welcome dinner; meeting a certain British driver along the way. Whom you don't make the best first impression with.
req!...oscar+lily playing matchmakers? cute cute cuteeee. quick one for my lando lovers mwahhh
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It takes a lot to convince you; like—a lot. Partial credit is due to your pride, but honestly, it drove your friends mad. 
Let's go out and celebrate! Just a good ‘ol round of drinks. I have to study. Maybe next time.
Oh! I heard of this new place down the street where you custom make your own jewelry. Fun, no? I have enough already, thank you.
Five minutes—let’s just go grab coffee! Too tired. Go on without me.
“It’s my welcome dinner, mate. You can’t do this to me now.” Oscar’s brown eyes flicker between you and his girlfriend, to which she apologetically shrugs. Deep down, it's like she can forehear your excuse. An essay is due, your internship, helping out at your local library. There's been too many times where you’ve flaked, and they were starting to worry. The pile of clothes makes her wince as you greedily type away. 
“I-I’m sorry, but I have to—”
“Reckon you don’t have anything on your agenda that is as important as you make it out to seem,” he hums. Narrowed eyes burn down, flipping your screen towards him.
 Compile a series of current events…BLAH BLAH BLAH. He stops caring, already bored.
“I wish I could—seriously, Oscar—but I’m needed elsewhere.” A beat. “Lily will keep me updated! Go Mango!”
The Australian rolls his eyes, sharp eyebrows expanding with desperation. “Papaya, mate, papaya.” You giggle, mimically apologizing. The clicks continue; round eyes laser focused. He tries getting your attention once more, but you don’t look up at him at all. The driver’s girlfriend purses her pink lips, crossing her legs gingerly against the couch.
“I can help you write your paper. All of it. Just please, come with us.” Blue eyes wink back as you come to a halt, temptation swirling. “We’re your friends and we want you there. Pretty please?”
The McLaren rookie thinks it has to do with his girlfriend's cute pout, but that is so far from it. It was well known that Lily Zneimer had a wicked talent for conducting a killer research essay. From her resources, to her dialogue. It’s astonishing how smoothly it gets done too. With her, it’s a guaranteed pass. Now that was what you needed. 
Berry lips twist back and forth for a second before stretching out. “Touch up on globalization effects in different cultures and we have ourselves a deal.”
-
The paper was coming along so perfectly that you almost wanted to cry. Your eyes buzz with excitement as you jot down a row of bullet points, conversing with Lily before settling on what to write. 
“This is not what I had in mind when you both made this stupid pact,” Oscar groans for the millionth time as he passes by, spotting you and his girlfriend crouched down on a table; computer, notebook, pencils, index cards, books—everything—in hand.  
“Mate, this is worth half of my grade,” you shriek; jotting a few more possible ideas. Finally, your dazy orbs connect back onto him. “As in fifty percent.” You gag. “Do you realize how terrifying that is?”
Lily shoos him. “We’re almost done anyway, darling. Go enjoy the party.” The Australian’s jaw drops and she huffs, raising her neat brows. “Go, go, goooo.”
Despite his girlfriend and his best friend ignoring him, he has a splendid time. He curses beneath his breath when a large hand sprawls against his back. Lando laughs. “Don’t worry, my date ditched me too,” he teases, blue eyes sparkling against the fuzzy lights. The rookie sighs plainly.
“I wasn’t ditched—'' He angles his head to face back to where you and the dirty blond hunch over, whispering, attention drawn onto the bright screen. A few people even go as far as to try and take a peek, probably thinking you were working on anything McLaren. “Yeah, uh, I guess you could say I was ditched.”
His teammate rubs his watch a couple or times, nothing but music lingering between them. No one really speaks up until Lily delicately makes her way. Oscar tilts his head politely. “Done?”
“No quite yet, but she has it all under control.” She faces the British driver with a sheepish line formed between her pink lips. “Hello, you must be Oscar’s new teammate.” A beat. “I’m Lily.”
“Lando,” he can feel himself proclaiming. “I thought she was Lily…” A lousy fingers points over to you. They both let out a weak chuckle. That’s my friend from back home, Oscar confirms. Her and Lily are super close, too. She beams, light blush feathering her full cheeks.
All of a sudden—the Australian sparks up. “Come; let me introduce you two.”
The twenty-four doesn't really have anything better to do; business convos that have him apologizing profusely, cameras being shoved straight into his face, girls who never get the hint. “Sure.” 
First thing he notices is the faded scar that hugs the bridge of your nose. It's almost completely gone—and he really shouldn’t even be able to spot it—but it's there, almost a glassy color that shines back at him. He notices how quick you are at typing; navy blue, fingers flying at a constant speed. He’s impressed. Or the way you barely spare him a glance. 
“Don’t be rude, he’s talking to you,” Oscar hissed as he and Lily tower over you like a strict parent duo. You can distinguish the panic that laces through her when you didn’t first respond, too worried at making a bad impression, even if it wasn't her leaving it behind. 
“Of course, I…um, I’m sorry—shit!” The laptop blinks back at you as a warning before settling in its death. A groan slips by, hands pressing harshly against the keys, then the screen. Nervously, you look up at Lily, biting your bottom lip. “What do I do? What should I do? What should I do?”
“Charge it when we get back,” Oscar advises, still waiting for you to greet the older McLaren driver. Lando stands back amused. “As I was saying—”
“It’s due at midnight, dimwit!” It’s eleven-fifteen exactly. “I need to find a charger.”
“O-okay, lets just all calm down.” Lily turns to her boyfriend. “You always carry one with you, let her borrow it.” He winces. Only during races, sweetheart, not an important event. She rubs her temples, curly hair running against the wind. “Let’s just calm down!” she screeches.
“Not helping,” you wail. “That’s it—I’m leaving.”
Oscar is quick on his feet, already tugging you to stay firm. “We haven't even gotten to the speech!” A familiar fire rushes through your orbs, burning him along the way. I don’t give a shit about that right now! I need to turn this in. 
“I’m sure Charlotte has one,” a friendly voice slides in, leaving you three to turn and face it. Lando awkwardly shrugs. “She’s really well organized, you know her. I’ll be right back.”
“Can I go with you?”
Blue eyes shift over, surprised to hear you speak. Anxiously, you bounce up and down against your heels. He gulps. “Of course.” He turns back to the Australian, who is busy comforting his girlfriend as if it was her grade on the line. “I’ll be right back.”
There’s a sort of tension that hangs steadily—or maybe he’s the only one who thinks so—but he tries his best to push past it. Of course, he was right, and Charlotte did have an extra charger, so that’s quite nice. As if this were the one and only resource of water in a hot desert night, you immediately take it from him, plugging it fiercely.
“You don’t know how grateful I am. You’re an absolute angel.” You’re quick to pick up where you left off. If you try hard enough, you can remember exactly what you need in order to have it done in a few minutes. 
“Glad I could help.”
He should probably leave, he thinks. He’s done all he could, but he doesn’t. Instead, he takes a seat across from you, contently closing his eyes as the sound of your keys brings him to a deep sleep. The sound of a computer shutting gently is what nudges him awake. You grimace. “I’m sorry, I should’ve been more quiet.”
Lando scrunches his eyes, rubs them for a couple of minutes. “It’s alright. You done?”
“Yes. Just in time—you really saved my ass, thank you again.”
A large hand waves you off, reclining against his comfortable spot. “You’re pretty dedicated to your work,” he mutters.
“I sort of have to be if I want to graduate on time and on top of my game. All those sleepless nights couldn’t have been for nothing.”
“Well, I don’t really know you that well…but I hope you pass,” he says. “Lando, by the way—you were probably too busy to catch it the first time.” He cocks his head to the side, a cheesy grin playing out. “And the second, as well.”
You giggle, shaking his humid hand. You don’t even seem to mind. “Third times a charm, no?”
“It appears it is.”
-
The objective was quite clear; get you to leave your rotting bed. It was astounding how long you could go without getting up. You always blame it on the fact that—I’m finally done with my most important courses and I can sleep all I want—and—I never wake you up, now do I?
So, naturally, when they march into your room, flashing a phone—you curl a full brow. “What am I looking at?”
Oscar smiles. “Save his number. Right now.”
Lando Norris—winks back at you, digits causing a migraine to stir. You huff, reaching out for the blankets once again. “And why would I do that?”
Lily hums. “I tried to stop him, I really did.”
Beady eyes peek demandingly. “What are you talking about?”
“It’s really just one date—”
“What?”
“And if it doesn’t work out—”
You sit up straight and agitated. “What?”
“...then you won’t ever have to see him again?” The Australian flinches at your cold stare. “He thinks this was your idea…because I told him it was, but…” He winces harder. “Don’t make me look bad and please go!”
Lily squeals when you fling up, hunting him down your flat. “I am going to kill you!”
-
The Brit beams sweetly at you, pinching his hand a couple of times to pump his circulation that was suddenly lacking. “I’m a bit surprised you wanted to see—”
“This was all Oscar’s idea.” He blinks and you purse your lips. “I’m sorry for dragging you into this. I think he does it because the third-wheel act is starting to get to him. Asshole,” you hiss at the thought of the rookie.
Lando coughs, playing with his bracelets. “You’re not dragging me into anything. I want to be here.” Now it’s your turn to stare back at him, caught off guard. He chuckles. “I take it you haven’t gone on a proper date in a while?”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Nah,” he yawns. “Oscar told me.”
Pounding your fist against the table, you yelp. “That little—he wants to ruin my life, I see.” You force a tight smile. “I’ve been busy with work…and…I’m—” A flash goes off; you flinch. “A total catch. Like—total.”
Blue eyes flicker to the careful watchers surrounding the restaurant. “I don’t doubt that.”
“Good,” you respond, finally allowing yourself to rest easy. You raise a sharp brow. “Don’t you get tired of this?”
A few murmurs dance across the room, blinding lights continue. He sighs apologetically. “Right now I am. Let’s get out of here?”
You blush. “The bill…”
“My friend owns the restaurant. I’ll pay him later.” He grabs your hand. “Let's go.”
The moment you slip into his car, panic rises fast. “I don’t hook up on first dates,” you spit out. “It’s not in my nature, I-I-I would rather get to know the person—”
“Then let’s get to know one another. I wasn’t looking for anything like…that,” he whispers, timidly. His blue eyes burn against yours. “I only wanted the chance to get to know you now that you don’t have your nose pressed up against a screen.”
A kind smile. “Okay.”
The more you two converse inside his crowded vehicle, the more you find yourself giggling against the rich seat. “You’re quite the charmer, Mr. Norris.”
“Thank God,” he jokes. “It’s working.”
Another giggle erupts when you nod. You’re sure that you're flustered, burning bright red from all his pick up lines, but you don’t have the strength to look away. “I’m glad we got the chance to talk. For real this time,” you add, sheepishly. 
“So do I.” 
And something inside of him tells him this isn’t the last.
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a-hazbin-reader · 2 months
Note
Just had a fun idea but like, what about hcs on how the others would react upon realizing s/o has feelings for Alastor? Like out of everyone they could've fallen for of it HAD to be him kjbgbkjs
Thanks for the consideration and take care of yourself op! Drink water, eat food, and know ur favs adore you!
Everyone finding out that wifey is married to Alastor??? 👀 That's what I heard-
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
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TW: A little suggestive in the middle bit? Angel helps wifey buy lingerie
Description: ☝️⬆️
You meet everyone at the hotel separately from your husband, so they never make the connection until they actually see you two together
Except Niffty, Alastor just had her trailing behind him one day
"Niffty! This is my darling wife! She is the lady of the house!"
"Neat! I'm gonna go find some bugs!"
"...she's cute, Alastor."
"She's a menace in disguise, my dear~"
When you first met Husker, you were playing cards when he suddenly saddled himself next to you with the kind of confidence that only an overlord has
Luckily, the game was only for fun, the two of you competing against each other in friendly competition
It's a good time between the two of you, you're charming and witty, Husk just eats it up and keeps asking you to play another game
"You're pretty good at this aren't you, beautiful? Do you gamble often?"
You simply hum and politely sip your drink, carefully thinking about how you're going to turn down the overlord
"I don't tend to frequent these sorts of places but my darling husband and I are celebrating so it's a special occasion~"
"Husband?"
"Oh, he's harmless! A real romantic...~"
He deflates a little at the mention of your husband but moves on like nothing happened and that's the last you see of him for a couple of months
That is until Alastor comes home one day looking exceptionally pleased with himself as he sweeps you up into an impromptu dance
"Alastor~! What's gotten into you~?"
"Another victory under my belt, my dear~! You know how you've been saying you always wanted a cat?"
"No?"
"Well, I went out and got you one!"
You barely have time to ask him what he means when suddenly Husk is standing in front of you, looking shocked
"Oh Alastor...tell me you didn't go after him just because he flirted with me a little.."
"Of course not, darling~! I did it beca-he did what now?"
Husk looks around in bewilderment before his eyes land on you wrapped in your husband's arms, pointing at you accusingly
"HE'S YOUR HUSBAND!? You need to look up the definition of HARMLESS cause he ain't harmless!"
You meet Charlie because she quite literally runs into you, tears in her eyes and obviously upset
"I'm so so SO sorry! I-"
"Hey hey...what are you sorry for? Are you okay, my dear?"
You can't help but mother her, wiping away her tears as she tries to excuse her tears as nothing serious
"Would you like to talk about it? I can't just leave you crying out in the street like a lost baby, now can I?"
She sniffles pathetically and nods, letting you guide her somewhere more private
"Y-yes please..."
"Come now, we'll make some hot tea and you can tell me what's got you so worked up..."
You two grow attached to each other after that and make time to meet with each other at least a few times a month
She gets anxious when she hasn't heard from you in a while and calls you whenever she's upset about something, seeking your opinion
You listen to Charlie's problems and try to offer her advice or do what you can to help her feel better, sometimes she just needs a motherly hug
She tells you about her hotel and whether you believe in her dream or not, you support her because she obviously needs it
Other times, you two talk about your respective partners and gossip
"Your husband sounds so sweet! I've got to meet him one day! When he comes back, of course..."
You laugh at her enthusiasm, gently patting her hand to calm the excitable young woman down a little and trying to quell the sadness of his absence
"And this girlfriend of yours sounds like she really cares about you, I'd love to meet her."
You feel compelled to look after her, and Charlie sees you as a source of comfort if not a mother figure to her
So she eventually introduces Vaggie to you because you've been asking to meet her, Vaggie is just excited to meet the famous Y/N
She's heard so much about you from Charlie that she had to see if you were genuine, she had to make sure you weren't using her girlfriend
Only to be taken aback by just how much she ends up liking you, looking to you for advice just as Charlie does
She's geared up, ready to fight, when one day you two are suddenly cornered by thugs out on the street, only to be baffled when you take them out with ease
Just how powerful are you?
"Wait wait wait-how did you pull off that move? I've been trying to learn how to do that for months!"
You're casually fixing your clothes and rubbing your wrist, completely unfazed by the ambush
"It's just a little something I learned from my husband~ Would you like me to teach you?"
"Y-yes! Please!"
She readily accepts, and soon she's just as attached to you as Charlie is, looking forward to the times you agree to spar with her
Her and Charlie talk about how much they love you one night before they go to bed
"So....she's great right?"
"Charlie, I fucking love her."
"Right!?"
You meet Angel at a clothing store, the two of you shopping in the same section when you catch him staring hard at the gloves
"You should try this one, the color compliments you really well, and they're made from a good material."
He jumps in surprise, obviously startled by your sudden arrival, but does genuinely seem to look at the pair of gloves you're pointing out
Angel picks them up and tries them on, seemingly more than pleased with your picks, whatever thoughts that were weighing on his mind momentarily forgotten
"Thanks..! Uh, maybe I can help you pick something out?"
He gestures to the many different lingerie in your basket, you're obviously having a hard time deciding which one to get
You have the decency to at least look a little embarrassed, a soft blush taking over your features and making you look innocent
"Would you? My husband is back, and I just want to show him how much I've missed him..."
Angel guides you to the fitting rooms, obviously excited to be of help, he could be saving a marriage for all he knows!
"Sure thing, doll! You put on each one, and Angel Dust here will tell you which one will knock your man off his feet! If I know anything! It's how to turn a man on!"
Normally, you wouldn't even THINK about showing another man your body in lingerie, but hearing that and having an inkling of who Angel is, you trust him
And it's surprisingly fun! Angel helps you narrow it down to three favorites that are sexy and comfortable, it never once feels creepy or uncomfortable
"Now pose like this when he comes in! Yes! Just like that! Your hubby is gonna lose his mind when he sees you!"
You can't help but laugh, not at all feeling ridiculous but enjoying Angel's antics and enthusiasm
"Thank you, Angel. We should go clothes shopping together again sometime, I had a good time today."
He winks and holds out his phone to get your number before walking away, no longer seeming so...depressed
"And you'll have an even better time tonight! See you later, doll~!"
You two shop together on the regular after that, greeting each other with air kisses and judging people together
"Ugh, do you see the hair on that gal? What an absolute wreck!"
"That hairstyle wasn't even popular when my husband and I were alive...ugh..."
"When am I gonna meet this man of yours anyways?"
"When he stops going to a tailor and agrees to come shopping with me~"
You're laying in bed with Alastor one night, nuzzled under his chin and cuddling in his arms when he suddenly speaks
"You know that little...project I've been working on?"
You're nearly asleep, the feeling of his thumb rubbing your arm soothing you more than he realizes
"Mhm..."
"Well, I was thinking maybe I could take you with me tomorrow...everyone there has been dying to meet you."
You open your eyes to look at your husband, smiling at him as you lean up to kiss him softly
"More people who don't believe that you have a wife? I'll be happy to set the record straight~"
He chuckles and rolls you two over so that he's on top of you, kissing down your neck as his hands push up your nightgown
"I can't wait to show you off to everyone~"
The next day, Alastor takes your arm in his and leads you inside, you're more than a little surprised to see that his project is a hotel
You're a bit shocked to see so many familiar faces in front of you, Niffty running up to hug your leg and Husk giving you a lazy wave
Charlie, Vaggie and Angel are all staring you like you're a ghost, eyes slowly moving from Alastor to you over and over again
Charlie drops her tray of snacks in surprise, rushing up to give you a bone crushing hug while Vaggie stands in front of Alastor as if to protect you
"Y/N! What are you doing here!? Are you here to give redemption a try? Oh, I knew you would come around!!"
You laugh and hug her back while patting her head, gently prying her arms off of you so you can pet Niffty
"It's good to see you too, my dear princess, though I'm here with my husband."
Vaggie's jaw drops, and she whips around to look at you, jabbing a finger at Alastor as you see her trying to digest the truth in front of her
"You! A-and him!? The Radio Demon?!"
Alastor takes the opportunity to pull you back to his side, a loving arm around your waist as you happily lean on him, hand on his chest
"Everyone! This is Y/N, my lovely wife~! Y/N, please tell them all that you're here of your own volition and that you are happily married to the most wonderful demon in all of hell!"
You hear Angel trying to hold in his laughter, obviously flashing back to the many conversations he's had with you about your mysterious husband
"Yes yes, I'm happily married to him and I'm not under any mind control or deal or anything else like that~"
You can hear Vaggie's soul leave her body, Charlie's delighted squeal and Angel's uncontrollable laughter at the sight of you and Alastor rubbing noses in an obnoxiously cute manner
"This is the guy you've been buyin' all those sexy clothes for!? Oh my fuck!! This is too good!"
"I can't believe Alastor was your husband this whole time!! I knew he was secretly a big softie! Oh my gosh! You should hear how he talks about you it's so cute!!"
"...I don't get what you see in him..."
"I don't either, you know that when I first met her, she called him HARMLESS? She's delusional."
"He's a bad boy and she LIKES IT~!"
Your husband looks at you in confusion, gently stroking your cheek
"All this time I spent singing your praises to earn you a decent reputation around here was for nothing? I should've known you'd have stolen their hearts already~"
You smile and kiss Alastor's palm sweetly, earning a chorus of cooing and disgusted noises from your audience
"Actually, I've met everyone here before, darling... it seems we've been unintentionally been keeping our a marriage a secret from everyone!"
Charlie is just so enamored with the way you two interact as a couple, her eyes sparkling whenever she watches you two together
Vaggie is just disappointed in your taste in men and shakes her head whenever you two are affectionate, secretly she thinks it's cute
Angel gets a kick out bugging Alastor about the clothes he helped you pick out, always asking him if he liked the lingerie
Husk is just thankful for the distraction you prove to be for Alastor because then he has more time to himself, encourages you two to go on a lot of dates
Niffty is just crazy as always 😜 She likes you two together though and will stab anyone who tries to separate you two
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This one took so long!! I hope you like it!!
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pucksandpower · 3 months
Text
Never Have I Ever
Charles Leclerc x Sainz!Reader
Summary: a game of Never Have I Ever leads to revelations your brother wishes he could forget (and half the grid running for their lives)
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“Alright Y/N, it’s your turn!” Lando says, turning to you with an impish grin. “Give us a good one!”
You bite your lip, looking around the circle of F1 drivers sitting cross-legged on the floor of Charles’ palatial hotel suite. It’s a rare night off for everyone during the season, and Charles had suggested a casual get-together for some bonding time. That, of course, led to drinking games, and now here you all are, a few rounds into Never Have I Ever.
“Hmm...” you say slowly, tapping your chin as you think. Your brother, sitting to your left, playfully shoves your shoulder.
“Come on, hermanita! Don’t go easy on us,” he says with a laugh. You roll your eyes but can’t help smiling.
“Okay, okay! Never have I ever … raced in Formula 1,” you declare. A chorus of groans goes up around the circle as everyone except you drinks.
“That was just mean, Y/N!” Lance protests, though his eyes are twinkling with amusement. You grin and give a nonchalant shrug.
“All’s fair in Never Have I Ever!”
The game continues, the questions getting more and more outrageous and personal. Though you’re the only non-driver here, you feel completely comfortable around these guys. You’ve known most of them for years now through your brother, and they welcomed you into the F1 family immediately. It’s fun to sit back and observe their antics and camaraderie.
“Alright, I’ve got one,” Daniel says, leaning forward with an devilish smirk. “Never have I ever … slept with someone on the grid.”
You feel your eyes widen slightly at the implication, but force yourself not to react. Still, you can’t help but notice Fernando slyly taking a sip of his drink out of the corner of your eye. The rest of the drivers turn to look at him in surprise.
“What?” Fernando says with an innocent look. “Have you seen Mark Webber?”
The others burst into laughter at this excuse, the tension effectively diffused. As all eyes stay focused on Fernando, you slowly lift your own glass to your lips and take a subtle sip.
Just as you’re lowering it though, you feel Carlos stiffen next to you. Uh oh. You chance a glance at your brother and immediately regret it at the sight of the shock and anger flashing in his eyes. Before you can say anything, Carlos is on his feet.
“Alright, which one of you was stupid enough to touch my sister?” He demands heatedly.
Instantly, almost comically, Charles, Max, Lando, Pierre, Alex, Oscar, and Logan scramble to their feet and take off running in different directions.
Carlos’ eyes nearly bug out of his head before he takes off after them, yelling Spanish profanities. You sit there stunned for a second before dissolving into laughter. Only Fernando and Daniel remain seated beside you, chuckling and shaking their heads.
“Carlos! Hermano, calm down!” You call after your brother fruitlessly. Still giggling, you turn to Fernando. “I should probably go deal with him before he actually hurts someone, huh?”
“Probably wise,” Fernando says with an amused smile. “Good luck, chica.”
You give him a grateful smile before jumping to your feet and hurrying after Carlos. You find him in the next room, gripping a cowering Lando by the front of his shirt.
“Please don’t kill me!” Lando squeaks out. “It was one time!”
“Carlos, stop!” You cry, rushing over and grabbing your brother’s arm. “Let him go!”
Carlos drops Lando immediately, who scurries away like a frightened mouse. Your brother whirls on you, face still red with anger.
“Y/N, what the hell? You never told me you’ve been with these pendejos!”
You hold up your hands in a calming gesture. “I know, I’m sorry! It just sort of … happened. With everything going on in the paddock, it’s hard to avoid getting close to people. A girl has needs!”
Carlos drags a hand down his face, looking positively murderous. You place a gentle hand on his arm.
“Carlos, listen to me. I’m a grown woman, I can make my own choices. I know you want to protect me, but I’m okay, I promise.”
Your brother’s expression softens slightly as he looks down at you. He pulls you into a tight hug.
“Lo siento, hermanita. I just worry about you, that’s all. The grid is like a family, but still ...”
You hug him back reassuringly. “I know. But you don’t need to go all Spanish Inquisition on them, okay? I can handle myself.”
Carlos sighs but finally relents with a small smile. “Okay, okay. I’ll try to restrain myself from beating them all senseless.”
You laugh. “Much appreciated. Now come on, let’s get back out there and pretend this never happened, yeah?”
Carlos winces slightly but agrees, allowing you to lead him back out to the others. Most have returned to the circle now, shooting your brother wary glances. You give them a reassuring smile as you sit back down, Carlos settling tensely beside you.
“Right!” You say brightly. “Whose turn was it?”
There’s a beat of uncertain silence before Logan clears his throat.
“Uh, I believe it was mine,” he says. “Never have I ever … had a podium finish.”
There’s a communal exhale of relief as the game gets back underway. You catch Carlos’ eye and give him a pointed look, reminding him of his promise. He sighs but gives you a subtle nod and an apologetic smile.
The questions continue on, ranging from silly to risqué, though nothing quite as explosive as before. You’re relieved to see your brother laughing and back to his normal self.
As the night winds down, you’re struck by a feeling of gratitude and affection for this group. Despite the drama and tensions of the season, at the end of the day, you’re all a family.
These guys welcomed you with open arms, and you know Carlos is just looking out for you. You lean against your brother with a contented sigh, smiling around at the drivers joking and chatting happily. No matter what happens on and off the track, you know you’ll always have each other.
***
“Alright everyone, glasses up! We’re doing this again!”
You grin around at the drivers gathered once more, this time to celebrate the one year anniversary of your first Never Have I Ever night together.
“Who’s starting us off this time?” Lando asks, bouncing excitedly in his seat.
“Ooh me, me!” Alex volunteers, raising his hand eagerly. Everyone chuckles.
“Alright Albon, give us a good one,” Lewis encourages.
Alex strokes his chin thoughtfully. “Hmm, never have I ever … raced in F1 before 2019.”
A majority of the group drinks at that one. “Trying to knock out us old farts, eh?” Fernando jokes, elbowing Alex.
The questions continue on, each one prompting laughs and cheers among the group. You’re filled with the same warm contentment as last year, smiling around at your dear friends.
About halfway through, you clear your throat. “I’ve got one! Never have I ever … been an uncle.”
Most of the drivers take a drink between smiles and coos about nieces and nephews. You notice Carlos doesn’t drink and turn to him with a playful grin.
“Uh, hermano, I think you forgot to drink for that one,” you say pointedly.
Carlos looks at you in confusion. “What? None of my sisters have kids.”
You simply keep staring at him meaningfully until realization dawns on his face. His eyes go wide, flicking down to your still-full glass of untouched alcohol.
“Y/N … are you ...” he breathes in disbelief.
You nod again. “I’m pregnant.”
For a moment Carlos just stares at you in shock. Then his face starts turning red, hands clenching into fists at his sides.
“You’re pregnant?” He repeats through gritted teeth. The other drivers fall silent, exchanging uneasy glances.
“Who did this to you? Who’s the cabrón who touched my sister again?” Carlos demands, voice rising.
You shrink back slightly, smile fading. Maybe you should have told him privately.
“I … Carlos, please, just calm down,” you say weakly.
But your brother is beyond calming down now. He whips his head around the circle, glaring daggers at each driver.
“Who was it? Who permanently defiled my innocent baby sister?”
You open your mouth uncertainly, not quite sure how to answer. Before you can though, Charles abruptly jumps to his feet.
“WellwouldyalookatthetimeIgottagonowbye!” He blurts out hurriedly before turning and sprinting from the room.
“LECLERC!” Carlos bellows, tearing off after him. You can’t help the laughter that bubbles out of you at the sight. Some things never change.
The other drivers are cracking up too. “Think we should go make sure Carlos doesn’t actually kill him?” Lando asks with a grin.
You wave a hand dismissively. “Nah, let them work it out. Charles will tire him out eventually.”
Still chuckling, you lean back against the couch next to Fernando, who has an arm draped casually around your shoulders.
“Those two, I swear. Will Carlos ever stop seeing me as his baby sister?” You muse with a smile.
Fernando grins and shakes his head. “Doubtful, chica. But that’s how brothers are. He’s just watching out for you.”
From the other room, you hear a crash followed by yelling in multiple languages. You and Fernando share an amused look.
“At least he didn’t try to fight the whole grid again,” you point out. Fernando barks out a laugh at the memory.
“Give him time. The night is still young,” he says with a playful wink.
You laugh again, cuddling into Fernando’s side. Even with your brother’s antics, you truly feel so lucky to have this group in your life. Friends turned family.
As you hear Carlos’ angry shouts getting closer, followed by Charles’ panicked apologizing, you think to yourself that there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.
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xqueen-of-disasterx · 4 months
Text
Say yes to me
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Paring: fem!reader x alpha!Nat
Warnings: SMUT, a/b/o, alpha Nat, omega reader, consensual human trafficking?, sex toys, begging, praise kink, pet names, breeding, unprotected sex, creampie, belly bulges, age gap (obviously)
!Disclaimer English is not my first language so please excuse any grammar or spelling errors. This story is completely fictional. I do not own these characters!
A/N: look who’s back
Masterlist-
You were prepared for once belonging to an powerful alpha, after all you had spent all your upbringing on a farm designed to produce omegas like you. In a world where most of the population either consisted of betas or alphas your kind was especially rare. Which meant there weren’t enough omegas for the alphas and that concluded in the farms like the one you had grew up in. The avengers mostly consisted of alphas, alphas with mates. Tony had Pepper, Clint had Laura and Nat had well no one until now. Tony thought he had been a damn genius when he got the idea what to get Nat for her 40th birthday. Why not get the alpha her very own mate? 
Natasha couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw you, younger, unmated and exactly her type. She was grateful for her gift of course, ever since she got you she had been all over you. Trying to make you hers. Natasha despised the idea by mating you by force so she tried her best to appeal to you. You were surprised by the kindness of the older alpha as she respected your borders and never made you uncomfortable. She’d take you out to dinner, watch your favourite movies and even teach you some martial art. 
You were certain to mate with her after all it wasn’t like you had much of a choice, however you weren’t complaining. You didn’t want her, no, you needed her. Every time you sat down on her lap and let her cock strain in her boxers. You tried to kiss her again and again but it never brought you anywhere. She insisted on waiting until your second heat which one bothered you more after all you hadn’t even had your first. 
"Please Tasha" you whined rolling your hips in anticipation for her. "You know what the farm said mating in your sleeping with an alpha in your first heat only makes it wore" You rolled you eyes sitting up to get a better view of the assassin sitting on the edge of the king sized bed. "I need it, please touch me, please. You begged her. "We can use the toys they gave you for your heat" She prosed, it took everything in her not to mate you right now. 
"Better than nothing" You signed watching Natasha tug off your shorts. She climbed up your body catching your lips in a heated kiss. You released whimpers as she shoved her tongue down her throat. You rocked your hips against hers, crotch on crotch as you tried to get her attention. "Fuck, you're a naughty girl" She groaned kissing down your neck to your chest nibbling on the sensitive skin of your breasts. "Please Tasha, please" you begged her "I'll make it better I promise кроли" Her calling you russian pet names only made you go even more crazy. 
She had you laying on her chest with your back your legs spread over her crotch. One hand played with your breast using it as a sort of stress ball as she paled the sensitive flesh with her veiny hands. The other one held a vibrator to your puffy clit as you buckled your hips desperately against the toy. She had put it on a low setting enough to make you get close to your edge but not enough to actually make you cum. You moaned right in the older woman's ear in an attempted to get her to break her facade and finally mate you. 
After a while of teasing your puffy cunt he decided to finally turn the toy up to give you the sweet release. You threw your head back on her shoulder crying out for a release. "Good girl" She praised you once more turning the device higher. "Come on sweet girl cum for me, cum for your alpha" With a few more rolls of your hips you had your release pressing your face into her neck as you clenched around nothing. Natasha helped you through your first orgasm of the night but you were far from satisfied, you were going to get her to mate with you that day. 
Natasha seemingly not aware of your determination stood up from the bed to get a wash cloth from the bath couldn't believe her eyes when she came back to her bed room. You had placed yourself on her bed on all fours you back arched to present your tripping holes to the older alpha. "Please alpha breed me" You whined your face smushed against the soft pillow. 
"Fuck you're making this hard for me baby girl" she chuckled standing behind you to palm your ass. "Jus' take me this rule is so stupid" you complained, there had been this stupid rule of not mating in your first heat because it should be something every omega should get over with however you couldn't care less. You could hear her unbuckling her belt before hearing the sound  of the zipper going down. She placed herself behind you rubbing two fingers through your slit before pushing them past your tight hole. 
"Fuck you're tighter than I thought but I'll make it fit кролик" She smirked pulling her fingers out again before alining her self behind you. Natasha pushed her hips forward pushing her cock into for weeping hole. She was big, bigger than you thought but after a while her stretch was so delicious you'd never want anything else. After she bottomed you out she waited for your approval to move. Her hands smooth over your lower back and womb feeling a small bump where the head of your cock was whimpering at the feeling of your tight walls behind her. 
"Please, Natty, move" You breathed out anticipating the movement of the older woman. She started to pump her dick in and out your already sensitive cunt. You couldn't help but release sweet whimpers at the fast pace she had she had set. One arm sneaked around your body pulling you up against her chest as she never stopped pounding into you. She released an almost animalistic groan before biting down on your shoulder making you cry out to mark you as her mate.
"Fuck" She groaned into your ear "I'm gonna fuck you pregnant, you'll be tripping with my cum when I'm done with you" "Please Tasha breed me with your pups" You cried out. One of her exercised hands found its way to your overstimulated Clit rubbing the nub.  "Cum, cum with me" She called out before releasing inside of your womb painting the insides white as her knot formed making her slow her movement. That triggered your own orgasm making you see stars. 
She held you close caressing your body and whispering sweet nothings into you ear as she writhe for her knot to disappear. After awhile she pulled out to place you on the soft mattress she took a look between your leg to see your ruined cunt sum tripping out of your abused hole onto the beddings. The sight only made her hard again. "Ready for round 2" 
:)
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feyascorner · 3 months
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Please please please I am in desperate need of Astarion comforting Tav.
Like Tav is always comforting everyone else, but there is never anybody to hold their hand when they are scared or hug them when they are sad. Please let them be scared. Let them be sad, let them be vulnerable and let them feel their own emotions.
Tav needs a hug :,)
a/n. no you're so right because I AM ALWAYS OPEN TO TAV LOVE!!!!! This ended up a lot more fluffy and lighthearted than I expected but I hope that’s okay! :) also this is not proofread pls excuse me for the grammar errors that are definitely in here.
You don’t mind helping others, really. You don’t mind guiding Shadowheart to escaping her evil goddess, you don’t mind finding a way to aid Gale’s ticking time bomb, and you don’t mind spending hours in battle to find a piece of infernal iron for Karlach. It’s natural after all, because they’re your precious companions.
But it’s also made the thought of being something else—the one being comforted—more shameful than anything.
It was just a bad day, honestly. Bits of your life being pricked at with needles. The whole week had been hellish, but today seemed to be bent on finally wiping you clean. A battle going wrong, the lake freezing over and preventing you from taking a bath, the pot of soup you were in charge of burning to cinders—they’re all small, but they add up. And when you find that your favorite pair of gloves are splitting at the seams, it’s your final straw.
You stumble into your tent, barely holding back tears as you close the flap shut behind you, signaling that you wanted to be alone. You collapse into your bedroll, face first as even the blanket beneath you isn’t enough to cushion you against the hard floor.
Gods.
You squeeze your eyes shut, begging your tears to leave. The others have a lot more problems at the moment—ones that wager between life and death—but you can’t help the overwhelming burst of emotions you’ve kept bottled in for weeks now. So many bad things are happening, but there’s no time for you to mourn, because the least you can do is stand beside your companions in their own grief. It forces you to constantly stay alert, keeping your heart open for them but shut closed for yourself.
It’s so, so overwhelming. It almost feels like it’ll swallow you whole.
“Are you alright, darling?”
You hadn’t even heard him entering the tent, and immediately your shoulders tense as you shoot up into a sitting position, wiping desperately at your eyes. You know they’re red, but you hope he ignores it. “No, I’m just tired. I’m turning in early for tonight, sorry.”
He stares at you, making his suspicion blatantly obvious to urge you to continue but you don’t, forcing your eyes to the ground. “No need to be sorry, my love. I was just making sure.”
You want to throw yourself into him. To let him hold you as you complain about the more mundane parts of life as well as the feelings wracking the sobs of your chest. To let him soothe you as all you can do is cry.
But you don’t. It’s just not what you do.
“Pity, these pretty things of yours,” he lifts your gloves that had been discarded on the ground with a cock of a brow. “I quite liked them. But…they don’t seem to be at a complete loss yet.”
You finally look at him.
“Why it just needs a bit of stitching and some polish. It’ll look even better than it did before with my handiwork,” he inspects the fabric closely. “Hm, I was finished with fixing Karlach’s shirt anyway, I suppose I could spare some time for your gloves.”
Despite his words, his eyes are gentle as they shift over to you, and it makes your lip quiver.
“I’ll ask again,” he says softly, and you know it’s an effort in vain to resist. “Are you alright?”
Like a river breaking through a dam, you fling yourself into him, tears already slipping down your cheeks as they smear against his shirt. You worry about the snot for a split second, yanking away, but he just pushes your head back to him, sighing with you practically wrapped on top of him.
“You should have told me before things had gotten this bad, my love,” he says, no true judgment laced in his words. If anything, he sounds amused. It makes you cry even harder as you wail loudly into his chest, with his hand rubbing soothing circles into your back.
It’s like a breath of fresh air.
“Would you like to talk about it?” He asks eventually after what seems like eternity, and your sobs have calmed to sniffles.
“…not now.”
“Very well,” he laces his fingers with yours, and you tilt your head up just enough to see the fond smile stretching on his lips. “I shall remain here until you’re ready. Until then, I have no quarrels with our current arrangement.”
You mumble against him as he lifts your knuckles to his lips. “…thank you for this.”
“You needed this,” he replies, as if it’s obvious. “I’m not you, of course, which is why comfort is not my strong suit, as charming as I am. I much prefer blowing off steam in a bloody battle, but this—“ he runs a hand through your hair, gentle enough not to pull at any strands. You resist the need to sigh into the feeling. “—this, I can do as many times as you need.”
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sourbinnie · 11 months
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☆ hit me where it hurts.mp3 ☆
♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> angst ¡! ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> hyung line!skz x gn!reader ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> sometimes things shouldn't be said (or thought) but the words slip right out of his mouth at the worst time. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> arguments ; the boys being a little mean but instantly regretting it ; cursing ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!
maknae line
a/n: first reaction ¡! i decided i would go with the "compares you" part. hope i did it well for yall and to the person who requested it, thank u!!! i'll publish maknae line whenever i'm free:]
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chan ✉
arguments could get pretty heated with chan sometimes (he's a libra at the end of the day). it could get stressful since you've been going back & forth for so long now, as you tried to make him understand that he wasn't taking care of himself but it only brought back hurtful words that you were letting it pass under the excuse that he was "too tired". maybe you were too naive at that moment thinking that he would calm down and you guys would solve it like you always do.
then you heard it, he didn't say their name but you could only imagine who he was talking about at that point and time. 
"they would just leave me alone and let me be, why can't you do the same? ah right you're not them and you will never be." he said and horror washed him instantly as they realized what they did. fights were inevitable but you can always keep comments to yourself right? it was just the heat of the moment that made him slip out such cruel words. as soon as you were turning away to leave, he was trying to find his way to you but it was too late anyways. "baby nono, don't leave not right now, it's late and i was fucking stupid. i'm so fucking sorry-."
"i just need some space right now, yeah? i need to be away from you." you said and that only made him worry even more as that's the last thing he wanted right now. "just let me christopher, we'll talk when i get back." 
"don't call me that, i'm still your channie, your boyfriend and i still fucking love you. listen i'm sorry but please don't go." he said close to the tears falling from his eyes and you just shook your head as you grabbed your things and he followed you around the house like a lost puppy. "(y/n) let's work this out yeah? i'll go to the dorms tonight and you'll stay here."
eventually knowing he wouldn't give up, you just nodded as you went to your shared bedroom and sighed. letting the tears finally from your eyes and hearing the door close was enough to let your sobs out from how much those words stung in your heart.
minho ✉ 
fighting with minho wasn't easy. his witty responses and his hurtful comments always stood out like daggers in your heart. he usually didn't fight at all but when he did, most of the time he took it too far and it wasn't easy to forget what he said. as the new comeback approached, you tried your best to be supportive but when you couldn't see them on their first win, it hurt minho. he wanted you to be there, backstage or in the crowd cheering for them but he did not see you anywhere. turns out you were too late, had a "work" emergency, he called bullshit on that.
"i'm sorry min, i'll promise i'll be on the next one. my boss really needed me and-." he cut you off immediately, not wanting to hear it.
"it's fine. it's not like they would miss out on this like you did. maybe i should just get back with them." he muttered and it was enough for you to walk away from him. all the boys were there to talk to him about what just happened and why were you crying but he was completely petrified from your reaction and how you just went away without a word. "god i'm such a fucking idiot." he said as he chased after you through the hallways.
"don't even try talking to me. i get that you're fucking mad but that doesn't give you an excuse to say stuff like that." you said as you still walked away and didn't even look in his direction. minho tried to process what was happening all at once but couldn't bare to see the look in your eyes as the tears were still going down your face.
"please listen to me for a second. it was stupid that i got mad, i should've understood you from the beginning but please stay and i'll make it up to you. i promise." he said and even if it did sound sincere, you just couldn't do it.
"i'm sorry, i think i wanna be alone tonight." you said as you looked at him one last time and kissed his cheek before muttering "goodbye minho" and walking through the door. leaving a distraught and regretful minho behind.
changbin ✉ 
it wasn't rare for you to fight with changbin, what was rare was when he got mad. this time when you were at the studio, making sure 3racha were feeling well and not overworking themselves, you were met with a furious bin. it surprised you, you've never seen him mad and maybe something else was happening that you didn't know or you chose the worst time to visit the studio. whatever it was, it made you feel so small and like you were in a place you did not belong. jisung and chan weren't even there to witness it but you guessed that as soon as they heard, they left you guys alone.
"look i'm sorry. i don't know what i did wrong but that doesn't excuse your attitude and how you're treating me right now!" you said but it wasn't enough to his ears as he gave you the next words.
"god i can never say anything, at least with them they would let me express myself. i should've never broken up with them if i knew i was gonna end up with you." ouch was all that could be said about that as you nodded and felt the water in your eyes grow slowly. "shit- i'm so fucking sorry, i don't know what came over me baby."
he tried to get close to you but you just took a step back and that broke changbin's heart completely. it made him feel like a monster in front of you but he couldn't blame you for that, it was all his fault in the end. when he saw you walk away, as much as he wanted to, he decided not to follow you and let you go. he couldn't describe what he was feeling when he saw you practically run away from the building and not answer for jisung's calls since he was just walking in with chan. 
"what the fuck happened hyung?" jisung asked as he crossed his arms and that's when changbin lost the control of his tears. he wasn't one to usually cry but he was now gonna be haunted with muttering those words to you and what he made you feel in that moment.
"i fucked it up like i always do." he said brokenly.
hyunjin ✉
as much as you loved hyunjin, he got so petty in fights it was irritating. he was the definition of drama queen and he could fight on & on about the tiniest of details. like right now when you just got home and you forgot to do some things in your shared apartment. tiny things like the dishes or the laundry usually didn't piss him off but today when he got home practice and saw, in his words, that the whole house was upside down, he got stressed. 
"look i'm sorry, i forgot to do it and i know you've been busy with practice. i'll do it tomorrow since i get to go home earlier." you tried to explain but he just shook his head and crossed his arms.
"tomorrow? are you serious? they would've done it right here and now and wouldn't be putting up excuses like you're doing." he didn't even have to mention them for you to know who he was talking about. it felt like twisting the knife on the wound as you just looked at him with the most hurtful stare.
"of course they would. they didn't have a job in the first place and relied on you for everything!" you said and laughed bitterly but in a sad way. "if it's my job then it's a problem but with your job there's literally no excuse right? 'cause it's more important. grow up hyunjin." 
"look babe i'm sorry. i don't know what the fuck i was thinking when i said that." he tried to make up an excuse at the moment but he knew nothing would justify what he said and implied with his words. it was met with a sigh from you and it was your turn to shake your head. "i don't think your job is less important and i shouldn't have said what i said-."
"but you said it." you whispered and decided to head to your shared bedroom to lock the door. you needed some time alone not only because of the harsh words but because it made you process your whole relationship in a flashback. 
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Text
Simon felt terrible for what he was doing, but he truly felt what he was doing was the right thing. Last night should never have happened, and he knew deep down you deserved better than him.
The two of you had slept together the night before, both of your harbored crushes for one another finally bubbling to the surface, leading to a night in Simon’s bed.
But when the reality of what the night had truly meant for you both set in, Simon felt himself questioning if it was really the right thing for both of you.
So instead of talking to you like he knows he should’ve, he began finding excuses to distance himself from you, and spent nearly the entire day not acknowledging your presence.
It wasn’t until later that night, when everyone had gone to bed did you finally confront him. When you walked up to him, Simon could clearly tell you had been crying, and it nearly tore his heart in half.
“Simon, can we talk please? You’ve been avoiding me all day.” Your voice was laced with trepidation, something Simon wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of.
“Can’t, got an early mornin’.” Simon hated how cold his voice sounded, and he could hear the soft gasp from you in response. “Goodnight, Sergeant.”
“Will you just talk to me, please?” You begged, grabbing Simon’s arm with as much strength as you could muster. “I don’t know what I did wrong, but you ignoring me all day is really screwing with my head, Simon.”
Simon looked at the floor, his mind racing with things he wanted to say to you, but nothing came out as his throat ran dry. He stood there a moment, before his eyes lifted up to you, his gut wrenching when he saw tears falling down your cheeks.
“Are you not going to say anything?” You asked, your voice shaking as you dropped your hand from his arm. “Was last night was a mistake?”
Fuck no it wasn’t. Not to him. Last night was one of the best nights of his life. The woman he’d yearned for years for finally returning his affections, a night of the best sex he’s ever had. God no he didn’t think it was a mistake.
But that didn’t matter right now. Simon knew now how you truly felt for him, and he knew it was just a matter of time before he unwittingly broke your heart, and he needed to protect you from that. He needed to protect himself from that.
So he kept quiet, he watched as your bottom lip quivered, and as tears continued to fall down your cheeks. Watching you like this destroyed Simon, but he told himself this was for the best.
“I guess I have my answer then. I apologize for thinking I meant anything more to you than a shameless fuck.” You held your head high, biting your bottom lip to prevent it from quivering and turned to walk out of the room.
“Y/N.” Simon spoke, causing you to turn around. “Look, I just don’t think this would be a good idea. I’m your superior, and a relationship between us would be frowned upon. It’s not you, it’s-.”
“Don’t insult me by finishing that sentence, Simon.” You waived your hand, cutting him off. You felt a new wave of confidence build in your chest as you looked up at him. “I don’t know what changed between last night and today, but I guess it doesn’t matter now. Clearly this was one sided on my part. We’ll just forget this ever happened and move on. Good night, Ghost.”
The use of his code name hurt more than Simon would let on. There were so many things he wanted to say in reply, so many unspoken words swirling about in his head- but all he could do was watch you turn on your heel and walk away from him.
And all Simon could do was wonder if he was truly doing the right thing, for the woman he loved.
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zayneslady · 3 months
Note
hey!! loved that angst fic you wrote xx can i request the boys reaction to when the reader/mc and them are in an argument, and they accidentally said something extremely hurtful and it made reader cry. make the boys regret it so much pls hehe😼 thank you 💗
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warnings: angst, open ending again hehe and again, reader is not MC
characters: Zayn, Xavier, Rafayel x reader (separately)
a/n: my first request *-* thank you so much! This exact trope is one of my favorites. I hope you enjoy it! Get your tissues ready! Also thank you to everyone's support in my first post! I'm so happy! ❤️
Classification: scenarios
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ZAYNE ❄️
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You didn't want to admit it, but you were sick. During the day you felt a little sore in your throat and your nose was stuffy. Arriving at Zayne's house after work, it was more than obvious that you had a fever. Your face was red and the chills running through your body made you shiver. 
There was nothing else to do, you would miss work tomorrow to fully recover. Furthermore, with the care of your loving doctor, you knew you'd be fine in no time. So you quickly took a shower and after drying your hair, you grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch with a cold patch on your forehead, waiting for Zayne patiently. 
To your surprise, he arrived at a normal time and your heart vibrated with joy when you saw him enter. He had his head low as he stepped out of his shoes and closed the door behind him. 
"Zayne! Welcome back! How was your day?” You greeted him as he shrugged his coat off. “Guess what," you said, giggling softly because it was quite obvious by your funny voice that you were sick. "I got a little sick after yesterday's ra- 
You jumped a little when Zayne suddenly groaned, whipping his head up to look at you. “Oh my Lord,” he said, annoyed. “Can't you see I'm fucking tired? You do not know when you shut your damned mouth? I can't stand you! Why are you so clingy?” 
Your eyes widened and your face turned bright red. Your mind went blank and you didn't notice the tears streaming down your face until Zayne's face changed from complete anger to guilt. He looked at you from the door as if he didn't know what had happened just now. He didn't recognize himself. How did he dare to talk to you like that when you-
He gasped softly, “you're sick.”
You tried to clean your tears with your hands as you got up from the couch. Zayne made an attempt to come close to you, but you quickly ran to the bedroom only to come back after a couple of minutes with your shoes and coat on. 
“Excuse me,” you said, as you approached the door. 
“What? Where are you going like this? You need to rest.”
You nodded, trying to keep some distance from him. “I know. I'll rest back home. So please move.”
“Stay here. I'll take care of you,” he grabbed your hand and more tears fell down. How could he talk so sweetly right now after what he said. 
You shook your head, pulling your hand away and pushing him aside so you could open the door. “I don't need you, Zayne. Not when you can't stand me.”
“I was wrong, please.”
“I was wrong too. Goodbye, Zayne.”
XAVIER ⭐
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“My poor Xavier,” you mumbled, gently cleaning a wound in Xavier's side. You winced when he did and your heart broke. You knew perfectly well that this could happen because of his line of work, but you felt terrible every time he came home hurt. “Oh, Xav, is it too painful?” You asked as you started to bandage him. 
He shook his head, breathing heavily and resting his head against the pillow on his bed. “It could be worse. Thank you for helping out.” 
“No need to thank me,” you said, smiling at him as you placed a tender and loving hand over his now bandaged wound. “I wish you didn't have to do this. It's so dangerous.” 
Your words had no poison. You clearly didn't want Xavier to suffer in any way. Why couldn't he have a regular, safe job? Maybe he's just strong because he has to protect everyone. You said those words from the bottom of your warm heart, so you were more than surprised to hear Xavier's response:
“What? Are you saying I'm weak?” He spat and you blinked. 
“N-No! I'm just saying that I wish you had another job because- 
“Is that so? So you rather have a bunch of wanderers attacking innocent people? Just because you don't want me to get hurt?” 
“It's- It's not like that! I never said that. I just get worried sick for you and-
“Maybe I should really stop, huh? Just turn a blind eye to everything that's happening like egoist people like you di.”
He just kept vomiting out words, one harsher than the last. Every time you tried to speak and fix this misunderstanding, his irrational words drowned out your voice and it made something heavy and nauseating settle in your stomach. This was not going to end well in any way. 
“Xavier, my love, please listen to me. I do not- 
“Maybe one day a wanderer will actually kill you. And believe me, I won't even bat an eye at you,” he said, crossing his arms and turning his head away from you. 
Your eyes had never filled with tears as quickly as that moment. Your body began to shake with suppressed sobs as you felt heat and disappointment throughout your body. Did Xavier just... wish for your death? And in the hands of a creature as horrible as a wanderer? 
“Oh no,” he suddenly said and you flinched when you felt his touch against your cheek. “I am so, so sorry.” You cried a little harder before getting up from his bed. “W-Wait, my star. Please, I'm sorry.”
No words came out. You simply grabbed your bag and left the room.
He called your name and then groaned in pain as he tried to move. “Pl-please, come back! Where-
You couldn't hear more of his words as you closed the door of his apartment. Did this mean the end? You truly thought so. 
Rafayel 🐠
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"Ah, welcome back, Rafayel!" The amount of excitement that rushed through your body whenever your eyes landed on him was almost overwhelming. It wasn't that you hadn't seen him in a long time, but a second without him felt like a century. 
His eyes, usually warm and sparkling, looked cold and even angry at seeing you in his house. "Hello," he said dryly as he closed the door behind him. You frowned slightly. "What are you doing here?" 
"Hmm, nothing much. I just wanted to visit you. Is that alright?" 
He sighed, placing a paper bag on the table. "Yeah, sure. I gave you a key after all."
You cleared your throat, nodding awkwardly. "Did... you have a good day?" 
He sighed again and shook his head as he stepped out of his shoes. "I didn't. It was terrible for the very first moment I opened my eyes. You see," he started and you nodded, listening carefully. "I overslept so I lost precious time for my painting. Then I didn't have time to eat so I didn't eat anything but a piece of bread."
You immediately got up to make dinner for him, maybe after eating he'd feel better? 
"And the worst thing was," he said, collapsing onto his couch. "I couldn't find my emerald green paint so I had to go all the way to the art store and get a new one! Ugh!" 
You blinked, frowning a little. "Your emerald green?" 
"That's what I said."
"Hmm, I'm very sure I put it in all of your greens?" You left the ingredients aside as you walked to the paints. "Here it is." 
He got up and looked at you with an astonished expression. Confusion quickly turned into anger and he was yelling at you in a second. "Why didn't you tell me?!"
"You saw me last night!" You explained, carefully leaving the paint back in place. "You said you wanted your paints to be more organized and I asked you if I could help you out! You even told me you liked how I organized it by colors!" 
Rafayel let out a frustrated sigh as a hand carded through his hair. "I can't believe I just lost all of that precious time because of your stupid mistake!"
"Excuse me?"
"Every time you try to help, you just mess things up! Can't you keep your little hands to yourself for once? I was just stupid for letting you help me out! You are way too much, I can't stand you sometimes.”
You were stunned. He had never said anything like that about you, you couldn't even remember other times when you wanted to help him and you ruined it. Besides, it wasn't your fault. The green paint was there all along and he just hadn't taken the time to look for it properly.
You knew it wasn't your fault, but his harsh words and the anger and hatred in his eyes were too much. Tears quickly filled your eyes and began to fall down your reddened cheeks. 
Rafayel realized his mistake a bit too late. Letting out a gasp as he watched the first tear fall, he hurriedly approached you, but you backed away, putting space between the two of you. He couldn't say anything, too surprised by his own words.
What was just a moment seemed like minutes, endless hours with deafening silence. Only your sobs echoed around the entire house, until your voice, small and trembling, made him jump. 
“I won't touch your stuff again, Rafayel,” you said softly, avoiding his eyes. 
“N-No, I didn't mean-
You nod, “if you don't mind, I'll sleep in your guest room. Goodnight, Rafayel.”
Deep inside you so desperately wanted him to stop you, but he watched you disappear into the hall and never called you back.
You knew it was going to be a very cold night.
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papercorgiworld · 3 months
Text
Tutoring first years
The things Theodore Nott does for love.
There was a request to write more about the scenarios from ‘Pansy’s Interrogation I’. This ended up being a lot longer than expected so I thought I would post both stories separately. Hope you like this one. And I hope to finish Mattheo’s tomorrow.
Warning: suggestiveness, not proofread
If you want a little more context, you can read Pansy’s interrogation, but it’s not a must.
The first tutoring class didn’t go as planned. You were helping three kids with transfigurations, Digorry was helping five kids with herbology and Theodore found himself stuck teaching potions to dumb and dumber. When the Ravenclaw first year next to Theo shakes his head after Theo had explained something for the third time, Theo rolls his eyes and sighs.
He mutters something in Italian and lets his eyes wander around the room before returning his attention to the kid next to him. To Theodore’s surprise the kid looks all pouty and tears are welling up. Just great. “Potions is not that difficult, no need to cry about it.” The Ravenclaw sniffs a bit before looking up at Theo. “My mother is Italian, I know you just called me stupid.” Theodore’s eyes almost pop out and he quickly glances over to you, fortunately you haven’t taken notice yet. “Look you’re clearly as bad at Italian as you’re in potions, ‘cause I didn’t say you were stupid.” The other kid sitting at Theodore’s table grimaces, knowing that that was the wrong thing to say.
The Ravenclaw starts sobbing softly and you walk over. “What’s wrong, Alan?” You ask, concerned about what’s going on. Theodore pretends to be sympathetic and equally concerned, but in his mind he’s cursing the kid. Alan, right that’s the crybaby’s name. You better keep your mouth shut. “He called me dumb in Italian and I know because my mom speaks Italian.” Theodore stares daggers at the kid. You nod calmly, but you really don’t know what to say. “Well, I’m sure Theo didn’t mean it that way. Theo, a word please.” Theodore forces a half smile and gets up, but can’t help but whisper with poison in his voice: “Snitch.”.
You walk to the hallway and Theodore closes the door behind him. “You can’t call someone dumb, Theo.” Theodore just rolls his eyes, that dumb Ravenclaw really ruined it for him. “He wasn’t supposed to understand.” A soft smile tugs at your lips at his lame excuse, but you suppress it. “You need to support them, help them gain confidence. It’s not because they’re slow learners that they’re stupid.” You explain. “Yeah, I know, but there’s a difference between being a slow learner and being a little slow.” You smack Theo with the book you were holding. “Auch, woman, no need for that. I promise I’ll keep my mouth shut in every language from now on.” You narrow your eyes at him. “You better.” Theo can’t help but lick his lips as he again sees a smile tug on your lips. You both return to your students and Theodore really gives his all trying to help the kids.
***
Theodore enters the Slytherin common room with an exhausting expression and his friends immediately take notice. “How did professor Nott do? Were the kids paying attention?” Blaise asks with a humored smile plastered on his face. Theodore just sighs. “Apparently, I’m not allowed to call them dumb.” Pansy can’t help but laugh. “Oh, but that just takes the fun out of it.” Mattheo complains. “All this for a girl?” Draco questions with a mocking tone. Theodore eyes shoot up in annoyance at Draco but he ignores him and calmly reaches for his cigarettes, while nudging Mattheo as a nonverbal invitation to head up to the astronomy tower. Theo was not in the mood for more teasing.
***
Theodore takes his seat at the table with dumb and dumber. “See, I’m not stupid.” Alan says with a proud voice as he shows Theodore his latest potions test. Theo carefully examines the paper. “Look at that, not a total knucklehead after all. Let’s review this week’s material four times as well and get another grade like this.” Both kids smile at Theodore’s weird way of complimenting. You can’t help but feel butterflies as you watch Theo work and laugh with the kids.
The feeling is totally mutual, because every time Theodore looks over to you he can’t help but stare and fall in love a little more. It’s even so bad that he’s starting to worry that the two dumbasses next to him might notice. You focussed on teaching the kids to hold their wand properly and make the right movements so they don’t accidentally set something on fire. Suddenly you hear an outburst of giggling coming from Theodore’s table. You look up to see a slightly flustered Theo shushing his table and when he looks up he gives you an awkward smile making you blush.
Now not only his friends are giving Theo a hard time about his crush his students had joined in as well. Theodore almost chased them out when the tutoring hour had passed. “You really seem to get along with them, I’m glad.” You say and Theodore just raises his eyebrows telling you the kids were still a lot of work. He can’t help but stare as a giggle escapes you. When the silence gets a bit weird you decide to thank Theodore. “You really are my hero for doing this. It means a lot to the kids and to me. Honestly, I really didn’t expect you to sign up but I’m glad you did. You do more than just teach, you inspire these kids.” Theo shoves his hands in his pockets and looks down at his feet. He can’t shake the sad feeling that you see him as this nice person who wants to help first years, while his true motives are as selfish as can be. He wants to be honest with you but he knows that no good will come of it. “Yeah, I never expected it to be this valuable. I’m glad I signed up.”
Your paths split when you tell him you have to visit Dumbledore to report about the tutoring project. Theodore quietly walks to the Slytherin common room not looking forward to more teasing. “Well well teach, how did it go?” Draco chimes as soon as he spots Theo, who just rolls his eyes in response. “Did you make a move on her?” Mattheo asks sincerely curious. “No, I was busy with Alan and Shane and she was busy teaching kids proper wand movement.” Mattheo nods, but can’t keep his mind from thinking a little dirty. “Just a little longer of playing tutor and she’ll help you out with wand movement as well.” Mattheo wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and Enzo is the first to laugh at the horrible joke, while Blaise just shakes his head. However, Mattheo’s face goes pale in horror as he sees you enter the common room with wide eyes. You clearly heard him. Mattheo tries to subtly signal Theo to keep his mouth shut and turn around, but Theo doesn’t catch on. “Yeah, nothing’s more sexy than a sweet guy helping out dumb kids. I’m definitely winning her over.”
Mattheo grabs Theo’s arm forcing him to turn around. Suddenly all eyes are on you and give Theo a fake smile. “Real sexy.” Theodore wants to say something, but you won’t let him. “I came to tell you that Dumbledore is awarding each tutor an extra 40 house points for their selfless hard work, enjoy.” You turn on your heels and Theodore just curses himself.
***
The next morning at breakfast Alan and Shane walk up to Theodore with sad faces. “(Y/n) said you won’t be helping us anymore.” Theodore can’t look up to them. It was his fault he hurt you and disappointed his favorite morons. “Why? Are we that hopeless?” One of them asks and Theodore immediately protests. “No, no. Don’t ever think that. Neither of you are geniuses, but you’re far from hopeless. I’m the dumb one. I’m too stupid to be teaching you guys something.” The kids look confused, but nod with pouty faces and leave.
“That’s just sad.” Enzo says, feeling bad for everyone involved. Theodore sighs and searches for your face. By Salazar, how did I get myself in this mess. “Not all hope is lost.” Pansy sighs when she sees everyone depressed about Theo’s situation. In an instant all eyes are on her. “She’s obviously very upset and I think that’s because she’s really disappointed.” So far Theodore found no words of encouragement. “I think she’s so disappointed because she really really liked you. Which means you can still win her back.”
***
You joined Cedric outside on a bench and sighed. “I know we were already short on tutors, but keeping Nott in the project was just wrong.” He gives you a sympathetic smile, but doesn’t say anything. “Look, we will find someone better.” After a moment of silence you speak up again sounding desperate. “Any suggestions? I have no idea who we could ask.” Cedric was about to say something reassuring when he saw Hermoine and Harry walk up to them. “Look, I know I said I didn’t have time, but I’ll make time. I’ll help you with the tutoring project.” Hermoine rants and Harry just nods. “I will help as well.” Luna and two other Ravenclaw join you as well. “Can we still sign up for the tutoring project?” Your eyebrows knit together in confusion, but you nod and hand them all a flyer with information. “Odd.” Cedric blurs with his face in a frown as he watches everyone walk away after they signed up. You just nod in agreement.
It’s then that you spot Blaise and Enzo walk up to your bench. “We’re here to sign up as tutors.” Okay, now I’m sure. Something’s off. “Why?” You ask, sounding meaner than you intended and making Cedric give you a disapproving look. “Because being a first year is scary, you learn so much and it’s overwhelming. I want to inspire them to continue learning and see the fun in it.” You frown a little surprised by Enzo’s argument, but you hand him the flyer anyway. Next your eyes land on Blaise who takes a deep breath. “Tutoring is a great opportunity to work on social skills by learning to encourage young minds. It also looks good on your resume.” You can’t help but laugh at his monotonous voice. “Did Theo put you up this?” You ask and Enzo gives you an awkward smile.
“He knows you’re short on tutors so he spent his day recruiting tutors for you.” You roll your eyes and huff. When you get up Cedric grabs your wrist and forces you to sit back down. “Hear them out. Nott is a slow learner, but that doesn't mean you should give up on him for doing one dumb thing.” Enzo nods. “He really cares about your project, even if it’s just because it’s ‘your’ project. He wants to help.” You feel the butterflies return, but it’s Blaise’s argument that convinces you to forgive Theo. “Honestly, is it that bad of a thing that the guy tried to impress you by helping others? Looks more like a win win to me.” You can’t help but smile. Maybe it really isn’t that bad.
***
As you approached the quidditch stadium you could already spot Theodore flying thanks to his messy hair. Your hand reaches up to your cheek as you feel yourself heat up. How did that idiot get you feeling like this by just being nearby? When you enter the stadium Draco is the first one to see you and he yells at Theo, who immediately flies down to meet you.
“Hey.” You can’t help but giggle at his meek voice, making him feel a little embarrassed. You take a few steps towards him. “I have enough tutors for every student now.” He smiles content at the good news. “Except for one student, Alan, so I was hoping you would come back. He’s rather fond of you.” Theodore shakes his head in agreement as he closes the last bit of distance between you two. “I would like that. I was missing the little bugger already.”
“And I also wanted to ask you for a favor.” You ask and lick your lips, making Theo’s mind go crazy with anticipation. “Anything.” He curses himself internally for sounding like a simp. “Would you mind tutoring me as well?” Theodore’s eyes drown in yours. “Definitely, what class?” You lean into him and let your hand wander over his chest, slowly making its way down. “Just something extra curricular.” Your hand rubs his crotch, earning you a soft sound from Theodore as his eyes fill with lust. At your touch his brain shuts down. “Of course, it’s very important to stay underneath- I mean on top of extra curricular activities. Both are fine really.” You can’t help but smirk a little as you notice how easily his brain got fried under your touch. “Later.” You say and turn around with a cheeky smile. Theodore swallows and tries to regain composure.
”Smooth.” Theodore rolls his eyes as he turns around to spot a smirking Mattheo and laughing Draco.
Bonus: Theo simping for you
“Of course, it’s very important to stay underneath- I mean on top of extra curricular activities. Both are fine really.”
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His mind is all about those extra curricular activities.
Picture source: https://pin.it/4OsJcVNGA
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