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sarawritestories · 3 months

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The Most Beautiful High Lady

Rhysand X Plus Size Fem Reader

Summary: Its getting close to Starfall the second one since Rhysand has been home from Under the Mountain. You want to dress to impress him and go to a new dress shop in Velaris and shocks you by the visceral behavior and your High Lord, your mate, will not stand for it.

A/N : First things first I want every reader reading this: YOU ARE BEATUIFUL. Any person who is buying a dress or a suit or whatever for a big event like wedding etc. You should be able to feel beautiful and confident and not left feeling upset and self conscious. This is loosely based off the terrible experience myself and my bridesmaids had at a bridal store yesterday which had me reeling and It sparked this idea that Rhysand would never stand for anyone insulting his Female or any female for that matter.

Content Warnings: Body shaming, rude snide comments, skipping a meal, body insecurity, angst,

Word Count: 2.7 K

Masterlist

“Have you thought about losing a couple pounds?”

You blinked. And blinked again. “Excuse me?”

The consultant at the dress shop gave a saccharine smile, “Well we only have a small selection of sizes here and I just don’t think you’ll find a Starfall dress in your size. It would be cutting it close if we placed a special order.” She looked my body up and down, “I mean I just don’t believe we have what you will be looking for.”

You crossed my arms, “Can I at least make that decision for myself?”

She sighed and you didn’t miss her rolling her eyes. “I guess we can try a few dresses. It is the second Starfall with our High Lord home, best dress to impress. He is quite handsome.” She winked and you rolled your eyes, it wasn’t the first time someone had mentioned to you about your mate’s beauty but after the weight comment the mention of his beautiful perfect face stung.

You followed her to the back of the store hidden behind the show floor. The back of the store had poor lighting fae lights dimmed and was dingey. The dresses looked worn and tattered and forgotten and she grabbed a few off the rack, not regarding you to see if it was a style, you liked and herded you back to the back corner of the store. Another sickly smile graced the consultants face, “Let me know when you need help.”

You closed the curtain and tried on one of the dresses, that was a plain beige dress, that barely covered your thick thighs. You shrugged it off and grabbed the silver dress, and it did fit but it hugged you in all the wrong places accentuating your fuller stomach and your boobs were practically spilling out of the dress and once again shimmied the dress off. There was one final dress, a teal dress that had a high neckline and long sleeves and as you tried it on it fell on your body like a sack of vegetables. You walked out to find the female helping me to notice that she wasn’t there. You walked over to see her helping another client and fawning over her and one of the dresses.

Another consultant came up to you a younger woman who looked you once over and with a disinterested look, “Do you need me to clip you?”

You gave her a warm but distant smile, “If you wouldn’t mind.”

She herded you back into the corner, and clipped you, the dress was hideous, and didn’t accentuate your breast. “You may need a corset for this dress to not only slim you but also lift up your assets. Wouldn’t want them hanging down to your waist.” There was a pause, and the young female met your gaze through the mirror and noticed your mouth was agape and she huffed a chuckle playing it off at as a joke. Then she started fiddling with my hair, “You going to do anything with your hair for Starfall? I mean the High Lord is going to make an appearance. Might want to look your best.”

Clenching your jaw, you gave a tight lip smile and through your teeth, “I haven’t decided yet. Please unclip me.” The female did as you asked, and you rushed into the changing room and put on your regular clothes. Walking out, not bothering to thank them for the time you made your way home. You were not in that store for longer than twenty minutes and you walked away feeling confused and hurt and feeling self-conscious of the weight you had gained since Rhysand had come home. Did he feel a similar way to those women? It was hard to shake that thought as it wormed in my head as I reached the familiar path of my home.

Walking into the town home I heard the boisterous laugh of Cassian and Azriel in the dining room. I walked following their voices, the two were sharing a meal and Cassian caught my gaze, “Hi there, Sweetheart,” He patted a seat next to him and I made my way to sit next to him, “How was shopping? I kind of thought you would be gone longer,” two pair of hazel eyes on me.

I tried to tug down the dread from my early and gave the general a forced smile, “Shopping was fine, I went to one store and wasn’t really feeling shopping anymore.”

Cassian shrugged, kissed my cheek, and went back to his food meanwhile Azriel gaze was locked to yours. “Might as well join us in eating,”

Have you thought about losing a couple of pounds?

The consultant’s words rang in your ears, and you shook your head, “No thank you. I’m not hungry.”

Azriel squinted, “You didn’t eat breakfast though.” He crossed his arms and leaned back into his chair.

You tucked your lip in between your teeth before responding, “I ate before I went shopping.”

If Azriel caught your lie he didn’t let on and you were quick to stand up, “I’m going to spend the day working our room. I’ll see you at dinner.” You kissed Cassian’s cheek and walked over to kiss Azriel’s cheek. “Love you!”

As you walked up the stairs you heard the two say in unison, “Love you too!”

Once you’ve reached the room you sink to the floor, your head leaning against the wood. You unleashed your tears then. The anger, humiliation, the insecurity flowing through your body, and you tucked your legs close to you and buried your face in your knees as the tears turned into sobs. A single shadow swirling around the door going unnoticed by you and the wave of emotions crashing into you were being sent down to the bond that led straight to the High Lord of the Night Court.

When the sun went down, you pried yourself from the floor and you walked into the closet and removed all your clothes. It felt suffocating against your skin. You grabbed one of Rhys’ buttons up shirt his scent enveloping your nose and brought a wave of comfort. You were placing your hair in a hair pin when your ears heard the front door open and close and feet bounding up the stairs before the doors to your shared room slammed open causing you to jump.

His eyes met yours through the mirror, his hair was disheveled as if he ran his fingers through it multiple times, the stars were banked out of his eyes and his mouth was in a firm line, but he was quick to change it as he took in the fact that you were wearing his shirt your thick thighs causing the shirt to rise and the deep purple lace underwear peaked through and Rhys’ eyes darkened. “Hello, Darling.” He purred giving you a bright smile as he walked toward you. “How was your day?” His hands grazed your arms, and he kissed the top of your head. His scent of citrus and Jasmine overwhelmed you and you closed your eyes for a moment.

I opened my eyes You returned his grin, “It was lovely, got some shopping done, at some good food, missed you though.” His smile faltered as if you said the wrong thing. “What?”

“Darling, I felt your anger and hurt through the bond. Azriel told me that you’ve been crying in here for hours, and that you skipped two meals. I was hoping you would just tell me what happened.” You sighed and walked over to the large window overlooking Velaris crossing your arms. “Y/N, talk to me.”

You were shaking your head. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Rhys returned your sigh with one of his own and got up and removed his shirt and he walked up to you.

“Will you show me?” You turned to see his tanned face to find his violet eyes meeting yours, he cups your cheek his thumb stroking the apples of them.

After a moment of debating with yourself you give him a curt nod and you can feel his talon caress your mental shields. You open that spot just for him and relive the interaction earlier in the day. The snide comments, the dirty looks, the dresses that were pulled that made you feel large and not worthy of your mate. Rhys pulled away from your mind and you looked back out at window. “Those dressmakers came from the Autumn court. They fled the Autumn court they didn’t say why.” His voice was dark and cold, a voice he reserved for the Court of Nightmares.

You shrugged and willed yourself not to cry. “They kept bringing up how I should look my best for you. How just on the off chance that you would give me the time of day.” You hated the way your voice cracked, how it took no longer than 30 minutes to make you feel not worthy of your mate whom you have known for over a century.

“Why didn’t you tell them exactly who you were to me?” he swiped at the tears that were falling despite you willing them away.

“I was so taken a back by the time I left and processed what a happened I had long left the store. Are you ashamed of me?” His brows furrowed, and you spoke into his mind Am I worthy of being your mate?

He clenched his jaw, “Any person who makes you question the cauldron on giving me to you as your mate deserves to be kicked out of my territory.” You were about to walk away when his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you where your back was pressed against his chest your head resting on his shoulder. “You are my mate. You are perfect for me. You are worthy of the title of my mate.” He began kissing down your neck, “You are worthy of the title of my wife.” His hands trailed up the shirt and unbuttoning until the shirt slides of your shoulder. “You are worthy of the title of High Lady.”

You stiffened and he chuckled as he sucked on your shoulder, “There has never been a High Lady,” You moaned out as his hand fondled your clothed breast.

“There will be. Soon. And those women will be dealt with,” He lifts his head and grips your chin turning you to face him. “But first, I will be reminding my wife just how much I love her.” He kissed you as his love was sent down the bond to you and he lifted you up and took you to bed.

~The Next Day~

Rhysand had linked your arm with his as you walked into the same boutique that you went to the day before, and the energy shifted. The consultant who had asked you if you thought about losing weight came up to the two of you. She bowed, “High Lord, what a pleasure to have you in our store.” She looked over at me, and she gave me a warm smile, probably not remembering me from the day before.

Rhys smiled though it did not reach his eyes, “Believe me, the pleasure is mine,” Rhys shifted his arm so that it can snake around your waist his thumb stroking the violet Cheffron. The floor length dress hugged your every curve and accentuated your breast to send a clear message on how to dress your body type. “We are looking for a dress, for coronation of the High Lady of the Night Court.”

She smiled at him, not regarding you, “Of course, would her lady in waiting know her measurements.”

You clench your jaw to prevent it from falling to the floor. The audacity of this woman. Rhys laugh echoed in my brain, as his smile turned more sinister, “The High Lady to be can tell you herself.” His eyes met mine, “Darling, any dress for your big day.” He gave you a kiss on your nose eliciting a full-blown grin on you face.

In your head he purrs, Give him hell, my love. Her face is priceless.

“If it’s alright with you I would like to look around.” You gave her my sweetest smile.

The woman tight lip nodded to her, “Of course, let me show you our top designers.” I held out my hand and Rhys laced his fingers with yours and you both made a show of walking around and looking at all the dresses. The consultants are tailing the two of you hoping you will pick a dress for a big event. “We have styles made for queens here so we can definitely find one for our High Lady.”

You hum in acknowledgement as you look around touching the different fabrics. You turn to your mate mischief was in his eyes and the stars in them twinkled. “My Love, these dresses look cheap.”

Rhys tsked and you’re trying really hard to suppress your giggle. “A shame. I was hoping that we were getting the Autumn Court’s finest. Its alright, we’ll go to our usual boutique they love making dresses for your gorgeous figure any way.” He leans in and whispers loudly, “As about much as I enjoy your figure nude.” Heat crept up your face as he winked at you. You are so beautiful when you are flustered.

Shut up.

As you wish my High Lady.

The woman made another attempt, “High Lord, I assure you that we do not have cheap dresses.”

You turned to her with all humor and lightness left your face. “Perhaps not, but the ugly attitude and awful service I received yesterday definitely cheapens the place.”

Realization dawns on her, “Oh my I remember you. I am so sorry. Had I known who-“

You held up your hand, “It shouldn’t have fucking mattered. I was a client who wanted to shop here, spend my money here. I was discarded and pushed in the corner as though you were embarrassed to have me in your store wanting to buy your clothes. I was not here for very long and in that short period of time you made me feel worthless, ugly, and not worth my mate’s time. If you did that with me, what are you do to others who look different than you. Do better. Because as of now this establishment reports back to me and I get one word from someone about how poor your service is, I will be sending you back to the Autumn court. Consider this my first act as High Lady. Are we clear?”

The woman nodded the group of consultants too nodded their head. “Yes, High Lady.”

You nod, and turned toward Rhys who shimmered Pride down the bond. “Rhys, let’s go I’m starving.”

Rhys smiled and kissed your hand, “Anything for my High Lady.” He led you out, pausing he walked back in and the women perked up. “Make my Mate feel less than the amazing woman she is, I will send you to the Court of Nightmares and feed you to the beast.” His smile was sinister as his eyes darkened. “Understand.”

The women said in unison, “Yes High Lord.” He nodded and walked backed out and saw you embracing the midday sun, your side profile showing your luscious curves that made his mouth water and the sun hit you perfectly making you look like a goddess.

“How did I get so luck to have the Most Beautiful High Lady in Prythian?” He kissed you with his hand gripping the back of your neck. And he pressed his forehead against yours. Gripping your hip and lacing your hand in his pulling you close. He began to sway you two even with no music playing.

You are the only person I know who would make me High Lady after worshiping my body just to prove a point to a disgruntled business owner.

He chuckled, Darling, you were going to be High Lady at Starfall. That was my surprise for you. You just sped up the timeline.”

You stared in his eyes, “I love you, Rhys.”

He kissed your forehead, “I love you most. My beautiful High Lady.” And the two of you proceeded to sway for an hour with no music, just the sound of their steady heartbeats.

~Thanks for reading!

#rhysand acotar #rhysand x reader #rhysand x you #acotar fanfiction #acotar series #acotar #rhysand fluff #rhys x reader #acotar fluff #Rhysand x plus size reader #plus size reader

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goldenbuckyyy · 2 years

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YOU ARE IN LOVE

Summary: Confessions of love lead to a place you never thought you’d be.

Pairings: Draco Malfoy x fem!Reader

Word count: 6.6kish

Warnings: Idiots to lovers, SMUT (over 3k of it), oral sex (fem!receiving), raw sex, cream pie, multiple orgasms, undertones of Dom!Draco, pretty much making love

A/N: hi!!!! Omg, it’s finally here! Yay!! Here’s PART 4 of my Heather series. 🥺 my baby!! I’m so happy for this part. Hopefully you all enjoy. Please let me know what you think at the end!! I love them so much 😭💚 please read the first three parts before this one (linked below) Song for this fic: “You are in love” by Taylor Swift

Also hit 400 followers recently 🥺🫶🏻 thank you!!

All mistakes are my own. Please do not repost or translate my fics on any other side nor this one.

I appreciate any likes, reblogs, messages, and interactions.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

The cold November chill felt welcomed on your skin as you stood in the Astronomy tower. You overlooked Hogwarts with a smile, knowing this is the last Thanksgiving you’d ever spend here, but you didn’t feel sad right now.

You felt grateful for your experience here because not many were that lucky. You had stayed for Thanksgiving break once back in your second year and it was magical. So beautiful. You loved it. Draco had stayed with you then. He never left you alone.

But you were alone now. You knew he was back at the Malfoy manor. You watched him leave to catch the train just days ago. You pretended to forget something at the castle as your friends went to the train, but it was just an excuse so nobody would know that you were staying for the holiday.

You didn’t want Draco finding out. You wanted to be alone.

You slowly let your fingers run along the railing, the cold metal against your warm skin making you shiver slightly, and you tug your orange sweater over your palms to warm you up again.

Today was Thanksgiving. One of your favorite holidays. You mostly enjoyed it because of the food. But truthfully, who didn’t?

You were going to miss your mom's homemade Thanksgiving dinner. Especially the apple pie you and your dad always made for the holiday. But Hogwarts is going to have to make do. You’re sure they won’t disappoint. They never do.

You had noticed there were a bit more students that had decided to stay. You were surprised to see so many students in your class. They probably wanted to enjoy their last Thanksgiving here as a student at Hogwarts. You were surprisingly happy to have chosen to stay.

You start making your way down to the Great Hall for Thanksgiving dinner. Your belly is begging for food already. You only drank a warm cup of hot chocolate this morning because you loved to wait to eat until dinner time. That way you had more room for the feast.

You had chosen to dress up today either way. You had paired your orange oversized sweater with a black skirt, it was one of those fitted ones that you really liked, black sheer leggings, and your pair of black booties. It was simple, but you felt pretty.

You had even applied some makeup and styled your hair to your own liking. You even managed to find your cute pair of thanksgiving earrings. They were two little pumpkin pies. You thought it was hilarious when your mom gifted them to you when you were a kid. You’ve worn them every year since.

You enter the Great Hall with a smile on your face, the different foods filling your space, you inhale deeply, almost moaning at the thought of eating already, and look around to see where you can sit.

You spot the Golden Trio sitting down at the Gryffindor table. Talking amongst themselves enthusiastically and laughing. You noticed all the different students from different houses had all gathered at the same table. You smiled at that and made your way to Harry.

Ron notices you first, his elbow shoving Harry suddenly, Harry whimpering an “Ow!” He's about to shove Ron when Ron raises his eyebrows towards you, you’re still smiling as you walk towards them. Harry does the same thing he always does when he sees you.

He sits up straighter, fixes his glasses, and smiles at you.

“Hi, Harry!” You say as you reach them, standing next to Hermoine. Who has an empty seat next to her. She looks up at you, smiling, they all welcome you, “Is this seat taken?”

“No, of course not!” Harry blubbers out with a rush.

Ron and Hermoine snicker at his reaction, Hermoine places her hand on your forearm, “Sit, Y/N. You’re more than welcomed to join us.”

You beam at her as you sit next to her. You both fall into conversation, completely forgetting about Ron and Harry, and gush about different topics. It was so incredibly easy to talk to Hermoine. Even Ron and Harry.

They had even admitted to you a couple days ago that they were scared of you because of your friendship with Draco. You laughed loudly when they told you and teased them about it. You had even told them that Draco only puts on a front at them, but was truthfully a nice person. They were hesitant to believe you, but you didn’t force your words at them.

Ron watches you and Hermoine with wide eyes, he looks at Harry, who looks about the same, “It’s like we don’t even exist, mate.” Harry hums in agreement.

Soon enough, the long table is filled with the Thanksgiving feast.

You gawk at the food in front of you. All the classics. The delicious looking turkey, the honey glazed pineapple ham, sweet potato casserole with brown butter on top, extra cheesy Mac and cheese, mash potatoes, corn casserole, and everything pumpkin flavored.

Pumpkin pie, pumpkin juice, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin topping. It was overwhelming.

You noticed your favorite butterbeer cookies eyeing you already. You reached over to grab some before they finished.

You all start digging into the food, you enjoy a little bit of everything until you feel satisfied.

The talks and laughter around you never stops. You feel happy with a belly full of food and a mouth filled with laughter.

The Great Hall starts emptying slowly and you feel someone sit down next to you, you turn with a smile, and it doesn’t falter when you see Cedric. Dressed in his favorite Hufflepuff sweater and scarf combo along with a dazzling smile.

You turn to face him, tilting your head on your arm, “Hi!”

“Hi,” he chuckles out with crinkling eyes.

You were happy that thankfully Cedric was okay with being only friends with you. It was a slightly awkward conversation the next night after what had happened she tween you two. Or what had almost happened.

He had caught you on your way back to the Slytherin quarters, you had both gone to sit at one of the benches in the hall, and spoke openly about the past events.

You apologized profusely about what had happened and he stopped you midway so he could apologize. He repeatedly asked you if you had felt he had taken advantage of you. With careful reassurance that you had consented to what had happened, every step of the way, and explained to him how you didn’t think it was fair to either of you to pursue something when your heart was truthfully with someone else.

He didn’t ask who, but you knew that he knew.

“How are you doing?” You ask him, nibbling on a butterbeer cookie.

“I’m doing alright, are those good?” He questions curiously, you had him a piece, and he chews on it and rolls his eyes back, “Bloody brilliant, yeah?”

“Indeed,” you hum back with a chuckle.

Easy conversation flows between you two about the end of the semester and how lovely it is to be here for the Holidays. You both agreed that it was the right choice to stay here and that maybe you’d both stay again for Christmas. You had never stayed for Christmas and the Trio said they were going to stay as well.

“I’m staying then,” you state happily, sipping on your pumpkin juice, and laughing at Ron’s comments to Hermione about something ridiculous.

Hermoine nudges you suddenly, you look at her confused, her face falling as she’s looking towards the Great Hall double doors, and you turn quickly to see what’s she’s looking at.

You feel your heart drop to your stomach when you see Draco standing there. He’s wearing his sweater, your favorite one, black slacks, and you notice his hair is loose and framing his forehead in curls.

His eyes are already on you.

You furr your eyebrows in confusion as you wonder what he’s doing here. You look around at your friends, who are looking at you in confusion, only knowing the bare minimum of what you had told them. But they knew something was going on between you two.

“Excuse me,” you say quickly, grabbing your extra butterbeer cookies, and walk towards Draco.

He waits for you at the entrance and immediately follows you as you walk out.

You stop in the empty hallway, “What are you doing here?” You question him as you try to keep your voice steady.

You fumble with the cookies in your hand, not wanting to look up at him, and he sighs deeply above you.

“My mother told me you were spending the holiday here. Why didn’t you tell me? You could’ve come home with me.”

You huff, “No, I couldnt.”

“Why not? Because we’re in a fight?” Draco’s tone is not harsh, but in disbelief. You avoid his gaze and look to the side.

“It doesn’t matter if we’re in a fight. You’re my best friend and I don’t want you to be alone on one of your favorite holidays.”

“I’m not alone…I’m with my friends,” you reply quickly, brushing your hair away from your face, and trying to keep your heart from racing.

“And what am I?”

You finally look up at him when he says that. His gray eyes peering at you, his lips turned down into a frown, and he waits for your reply. You notice his fingertips are itching to grab your wrists. His hands go into tight fists to keep them to himself.

Your heart skips a beat because you miss him so much. It’s only been over a week that you’ve spoken to him. Been in his bed.

But it feels like a lifetime and it’s slowly killing you.

You tilt your head to the side as you watch him, the corners of your lips frowning, your eyes taking him in, “You’re… you’re my Draco.”

You both start casually walking down the hall, you both on instinct go towards the peach three in the courtyard, and you both sit down on the bench under the tree.

You shiver slightly as the cold wind brushes against your warm cheeks and Draco silently curses at himself for not bringing a coat with him to the Great Hall.

You turn to face him, still holding your cookies in your hands, and look at him. Your heart feels heavy as you both stare at each other.

His eyes look into yours with such sadness in them that it makes you want to curl into a ball and weep. You feel yourself starting to shake slightly because of how nervous you feel.

Is this the end? The real end between you two?

“Hey,” his voice startles you, soft and sweet, his hands finally inch towards you, and he takes your free one into his warm palms. His big hand covering yours completely.

“Why are you shaking? It’s just me,” he whispers as he pushes a stray hair away from your face, his thumb caressing your cheek slightly, you feel yourself flush underneath his gaze, and you shuffle on the bench.

“I feel this way because of you,” you admit, not breaking eye contact with him.

“I…” Draco starts to say, but quickly stops talking when he notices a couple people walking around the halls and chatting in the corridor as well.

He doesn’t let go of your hand, “We should go somewhere more private.”

“Like where?”

He opens his mouth, but closes it. His jaw locks, his eyes slowly avert from yours, but then he looks back. Your eyebrows raise in confusion as you wait for him to speak.

“What about my room?” His voice filled with uncertainty.

You still. You haven’t set foot in his room since the argument you last had in there. You hadn’t even bothered to go and get your things that you had left there. You hadn’t wanted to face him yet.

A part of you wants to go back in there. You miss the warmth and comfort you felt there.

Lately, all you’ve felt is loneliness as you sleep alone every night in the empty bed in your big room.

The emptiness of his side next to you never left your mind. You find yourself nodding, he gets up, you follow, and he leads you towards his room.

He stops in front of the door after walking up the steps, you behind him, and he whispers his password to the painting in front of the door.

He whispers your favorite spell.

Your heart tugs a bit that he didn’t change it. You know it hasn’t been that long, but it’s been the longest time the both of you have gone without each other.

He opens the door and the sweet smell of apples mixed with cinnamon and vanilla fills your senses. You let your eyes close slightly, inhaling the mesmerizing scent, and you follow him inside his room.

He walks around the room and you stand near the door, feeling a bit awkward, not knowing what to do anymore in this room, and you watch him.

He peers at you as he sits in his emerald green loveseat, he gestures to the matching chair in the corner of the room, and you start walking towards it. You glance around the room, taking notice that all your belongings are still in the same place, and you wish they weren’t.

You secretly wish he had already packed up your belongings into a box to make this easier. You sit down and set your cookies onto the table in between you two.

“Do you want some tea or coffee?” He asks as he’s about to stand up to make some.

“No, it’s okay.”

He pauses and sits back down. He turns his body towards you, his leg bouncing up and down, and he lets out a deep sigh.

A couple minutes pass with you both sitting in silence. You gulp down your nerves and open your mouth to speak.

“Draco?” You ask.

Your voice fills his ears like sweet honey. “Yes?”

“Why am I here?” You question him as you let out a sigh.

“I’m a coward,” he blurts out, turning his face to look at you, you frown.

“What?”

“I am a coward. Draco Malfoy is a coward.”

You adjust yourself into your seat, placing one leg underneath your bottom, and fully face him.

“Draco,” you say, reaching over to him and taking his hand in both of yours. “What are you talking about?”

His hand grips yours, “The last time you were here… You, uh, you asked me if I ever thought about doing.. what we do… with, umm, someone else.” Your eyes furr because Draco is fumbling with his words and he never does.

“I remember,” you tell him, a pang in your chest when you remember what he said after you asked him that last time.

“Well.. I.. I, uh, I lied to you.”

You sit up straight. His eyes racing over your face, taking in your different expressions, “I know I insinuated that I thought about doing that with Heather, but I lied. I’ve never thought about doing what we do with anybody else. Ever.”

You scoff at him, not believing him, “What are you going off about, Draco? You’ve fancied Heather since the day you met her.” You try to pull your hand out of his, but he grips onto it.

“I told you that day that I never thought about doing this with someone else and I meant it. I know I said I fancied Heather, but I swear.. I… I never have.”

“You lied to me?” You say in disbelief. A part of you wanting to be happy that he never fancied her, but why did he lie to you?

“I… I did.”

“Why? What are you saying?” You pull your hand out of his with force, standing up quickly and starting to pace around the room, as the memories of that conversation fill your mind.

Draco sits up in the loveseat, facing you, and pouting.

“I asked you if you felt anything for me! I asked you if I was more than just your friend! You didn’t say anything! I gave you a chance to say anything, to say something, and you bloody stayed quiet! You never said anything! And then I’m with Cedric that night and you burst into his room, demanding I go with you, and for what? For you to never say anything else to me? Then we didn't talk for almost a week and now… now… now you want to say something? Why?”

You continue to pace the room, confusion filling you, and you stop in front of him. Hands on your hips, chest raising angrily, and you watch him.

He doesn’t say anything, biting the skin around his fingernails, and he bites his lower lip with nerves.

“What’s going on, Draco? You’re confusing me,” you cry out at him.

“I am a coward that didn’t see what was in front of him until it was too late,” he stands up, towering over you, taking his hands in his, and you both look into each other’s eyes.

“I am in love with you,” he confesses in a whisper. You suck in a gasp, your world stills at his words, and you start shaking your head.

You frown deeply, “Stop it.”

Draco grips your hands in his tightly, “This… this thing between us started in fifth year.. we were barely fifteen years old. We both decided to do this, but a part of me only agreed because I wanted you to want me the same way I’ve always wanted you,” you mouth parts in shock, “A part of me has always loved you. I… I think I’ve always known that I have, but I’ve always been a coward at admitting it to myself. That was almost four years ago next year… And… my-my love for you has only grown.”

You feel tears welling up in your eyes as you stare up at him, trying your hardest to wrap your mind around his words, and you let the tears fall down your cheeks.

“Please, don’t cry,” he whispers as his thumb wipes away your tears gently.

Your lips quiver, “I… I’m having a hard time believing you, Draco.” Your confession stuns him, he looks at you with confusion.

“Wh-what?” His voice is shaky.

“What about Heather?”

His eyes darted away from your face for a second, “I… I, um, I made it up.”

“You what?” You feel different emotions filling your body. Confusion at his confession. Anger that he lied to you. Happiness because he feels the same way. Guilt for what you had done with Cedric.

“I didn’t lie when I said I met Heather because of my mom in the summer. But I’ve never felt anything towards her. Ever. I only said that to you because I was hoping to make you jealous,” another confession slips his lips.

“To… make me jealous?” You repeat his words, feeling distress.

He nods, his body language showing you he’s ashamed of his actions, and he sighs. “I… I know my actions are confusing you.. and I know you might need some time, but…” he pauses and his palms cup your face gently, “I am in love with you.”

Your breathing is picking up, you’re looking at him in shock, everything you’ve ever wanted to hear… he’s saying it right now.

“I’m so in love with you that I was deeply afraid of letting you know because of the fear that you didn’t feel the same way about me. But if I would have just looked deeper… I would have seen and heard what you were trying to tell me…”

“And what was that?” You whisper out, your hands slowly moving to palm his hands on your face.

“That you’re in love with me too,” he pleads, voice wavering with hope.

“Draco,” you whisper, tears falling down your cheeks, closing your eyes as you let a whimper fall out between your lips.

“Do you not believe me?” He questions, hurt filling the room.

You sniff as you lean your face into his palms, crying out, “Can you blame me?”

Before you know it, you feel Draco’s hands leaving your face, you look for his hands, and he’s kneeling in front of you.

“What? Draco, what are you doing?”

He holds your hands in his, his knees touching the floor, he lets out a quiet cry.

Your heart breaks at hearing him cry.

“Y/N…” he begins, “Its always been you.” He looks up at you with tears in his eyes, “I have always loved you, never anybody else. I swear it. I have never once felt the way I feel for you for anybody else. Never.”

He grips your hands in his, kissing the palms of your wrists, “You are the only one I’m ever going to want.” His voice is shaking, “It’s you who I want next to me. Warming my bed, forever. You’re everything I want. Everything!”

You both are staring at each other, crying together, he continues, “I know I’m a bloody fucking idiot for not saying this sooner and I know it’s hard to believe me right now after everything… but I’m so in love with you that merely thinking about anybody else… It sickens me. You are the only person that matters to me. You’re the only one I see in my future.”

You fall to your knees in front of him, your arms wrapping around his neck, his hands gripping your waist so your knees don’t hit the floor as he tugs you into him, and you cry.

“Draco, I…” your lips quiver, “I’m so sorry for what I did with Cedric. I… I thought you didn’t feel the same way and I just wanted to forget about you.”

Draco shakes his head rapidly, “Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong. I was a coward and you were just trying to move on from my bloody dumbass.”

You let out a giggle at his words, you wipe his tears away from his face as he wipes away yours, “I’m in love with you, too.” You confess, your heart rate accelerating at saying those words out loud. Finally.

His eyes lighten up at your words.

“I’ve always loved you. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. It has been hell without you since our last argument and I never want to go through that again.” You lay your head on his shoulder, sniffing and whimpering into him, and he holds you in his arms tightly.

“It won’t ever happen again, I swear.”

“I love you,” he whispers into your ear as his hands tangle into your hair. You scruff your head onto his shoulders, taking him in, and breathing in his warm scent all around you.

You both lean out, his forehead on yours, your eyes are closed, you can feel his heartbeat against you, and his breathing increasing slightly.

One of his hands grasp your neck, you lean up to look at him, his eyes wander your face and land on your lips. Your hands are holding onto his biceps as one of his free arms wraps around your waist, gently and with hesitance. As if he’s scared to touch you.

“I’ve missed you terribly, my love.”

You lick your lips, “I missed you more.” You let your gaze stop on his lips, he parts them open, and you both start leaning into each other.

You met in the middle, your lips centimeters apart, you can smell his mint breathe, and you shiver at being this close to him again.

“Draco,” you whisper out as you close your eyes, letting your body melt into his, and he pulls you into his space with his arms.

His lips touch yours gently, you whimper at the feeling as fire erupts in your belly at the contact, goosebumps breaking out over your skin, and your eyes flutter closed.

You move your arms to wrap around his neck as your lips move against his, it’s as if you’ve never been apart, and you feel fuzzy like you always do when you kiss him. You feel your body already reacting to his touch and you cry out for him.

Draco’s tongue slowly lines your bottom lip, you part your mouth open for him, and your tongues meet in the middle. You both moan simultaneously, one of his hands gripping your waist, the other on the back of your neck, and you grip your arms together around him. You lean up to kiss him harder and he bites your bottom lip which causes you to whine loudly.

You pull away from him, his mouth sucking on your lip, and you groan against him. His hands move towards the end of your sweater, you feel him hesitate, and you look at him with a small smile. Feeling your skin flushed.

“I trust you,” you breathe out, his eyes flutter, and he smiles sweetly at you. He wraps his lips around yours once more, his hands inch underneath your sweater, and your skin feels as if it’s on fire. His big warm hands on your skin making your belly erupt with butterflies.

“God, I’ve missed your skin.” He starts to kiss down your neck with big open mouthed kisses, leaving love bites down as he goes, his eyes looking up at you with pleasure, and you moan with every kiss. You grind your hips against his, your hands clinging onto his shoulders, and you pull away from him.

You stand up quickly, pulling him up with you, and you both stand in front of each other.

You take one step back, letting yourself take him in, the big dent in his slacks making your mouth water, and you reach down to tug off your sweater.

You throw it to the side, letting him look at your chest, your breasts are covered with a lacy black bra, and you're both breathing heavily. You kick off your boots with ease, he follows your lead by tugging off his sweater, and unbuckling his belt.

You both hold eye contact as you lower down your skirt and him his slacks. You lick your lips once you see him in only his tight black briefs, your mouth feeling dry when he palms himself to try and relieve the pressure he’s feeling, he hisses at his own touch, you tighten your legs together for a second to slow down the throbbing you feel, and you slide your hands into your sheer leggings.

You bend down slowly to pull them off your legs and you stand in front of him, holding the lace of your panties in between your fingers.

Draco's eyes are taking you in, every single inch of you, and you don’t feel insecure under his stare. You missed the way he ate you up with his eyes, he’s biting his lips as his eyes go down to your breasts, your navel, and land on your most private area.

You feel yourself wet with anticipation and want.

“Lay down,” Draco orders, chills run down your spine at his tone, and your body follows before your mind can. You lay down on the bed, with your arms underneath you to hold you up, and Draco moves to hover over your body.

You feel him against your thigh, hard, and you moan when he kisses your neck.

His arms are caging you underneath him, “Can I touch you, baby?”

You nod at him as you reach up to kiss his lips, slowly.

His hand slips underneath your torso, he unclips your bra, you let it fall over your shoulders, pulling it off your chest, and his mouth immediately meets with your already perked nipples.

You gasp when his warm tongue laps on your nipples, he moves between both of your breasts, his hands cupping each one of them, the moans you let out only fuels him, and he starts moving down your stomach.

He lets his tongue swirl around your belly, licking your naval, and his hands grip onto your panties.

He swiftly pulls them down, he sits on his knees with your legs on his shoulders, he pulls off your panties, he kisses the inside of your ankle, and you open your legs for him.

Your hands grip your breasts as he admires you. You’re soaking and he knows it.

He watches your glistening pussy underneath him, all for him, he moans at the sight, and curses.

“You’re fucking beautiful,” he licks up your calf, bitting the inside of your thighs, and you whimper. His eyes are locked on yours, he’s making sure you’re watching him, and you bite your bottom lip when his mouth hovers over your pussy.

“Dray,” you whisper, hitching your hips to him, and he tsks at you.

“Always so inpatient,” he says with a chuckle, he lowers himself down flat, and spreads your legs wider. His mouth latches onto you, you moan out loudly when you feel his wet tongue on you, his tongue laying flat on your folds, then flicking up to your clit.

You gasp sharply, your breathing increasing with pleasure, and you tilt your head back as your hands grasp onto his almost white locks.

Your hips move with his mouth in sync, he licks and slurps your wetness, your clit throbbing against him, “I’ve missed your taste, princess.” His breaths on you, you move your legs onto his shoulders, and pull him down to you again.

He continues to eat you up, he slowly lets a finger enter you, you cry out at the sensation, feeling yourself tight around his digit, and he works you open slowly.

He groans against your pussy as he feels how tight you are around him, he couldn’t believe he had gone so long without you, and he inserts a second finger without warning.

You gasp again, feeling yourself burning up as he opens you, his fingers curling inside of you is something you hadn’t realized how much you had missed, and Draco starts moving his hips into the mattress.

Your mouth parts with pants as his fingers find your sweet spot, “Draco!” You breathe out with a moan, his tongue lapping your wetness faster, his lips wrap around your clit, sucking on it, your legs are starting to shake as you near your orgasm, and he increases his speed inside of you.

His fingers keep fucking into you, his tongue licking you in the right places, and playing with your clit at all the right moments.

“You’ve always tasted amazing, sweetheart.” Draco quickly says to you before he continues doing what he does best.

You whine out, hands locked into his hair, your back arching up with pleasure, and he moves his free hand to play with your nipples. You tug onto his locks feeling yourself getting closer and knowing that’s the signal you use to tell him.

Draco moans against your pussy, sending vibrations to your clit, and you feel your lower belly start contracting with your anticipating orgasm.

You feel tears in the corner of your eyes, your hips grinding against his mouth, and he curls his fingers inside of you one more time.

“Draco!” You yell out in pleasure as your orgasm takes over you suddenly. His mouth latches onto your clit, sucking on it, your entire body shaking with euphoria, and Draco only slurps up all your wetness.

Draco moans against your pussy, licking you slowly as you come down, your chest raising up and down to catch your breath, and Draco slowly pulls away from you. His fingers inside of you exit slowly and you bite your lip looking at him.

Draco’s lips are swollen and puffy, he licks them and sucks his bottom lip, you reach down to him, pulling at him from his arms, and wrapping your lips around his. Moaning as you taste yourself on him. His hand wrapping underneath your neck, pulling your naked body into his, his warm-flushed skin feeling hot against you, and you both lean your foreheads together.

You look down at his still covered dick and look into his eyes again. He waits for you to say something, his gray eyes looking beautiful, and you reach down to shove off his briefs.

Draco moves one of his hands to help you, you feel his big dick hit your thighs, and you know he’s absolutely throbbing against you.

“I can’t wait to feel you,” Draco whispers into your neck as he pumps himself quickly, you spread open your legs, placing your hands on his face, he aligns himself with you, you both stare into each other’s eyes, he rubs his dick up and down your wetness, hitting your clit gently, you moan, and then you feel him at your entrance.

You’re both breathing deeply, his dick entering your folds, and you bite your lower lip. One of his hands underneath your waist and the other holding your face. It’s as if the world stills around you both. It feels as if it’s just you two at this moment. Just you two in this world and nobody else.

Draco's eyes never leave yours as he slowly moves himself to enter you, you gasp at the feeling, he moans at your tightness around him, and his tip moves deeper inside of you. Slowly.

You pull him closer into you, your pussy stretching around him, feeling so full once again, and you cry out to the missed feeling.

His lips connect on yours passionately, “Always so fucking tight for me.”

You nod at his words, kissing his lips, clenching around him, his mouth parting open on yours, you both letting out moans against each other’s lips at the pleasure, and he starts moving his hips against yours.

“I’ve missed you,” you whisper against his lips, licking the inside of his mouth, rocking your hips against his, your noses nudging together, and he lets out a whimper as he bottoms out inside of you.

“I’ve missed you so.. so, fuck, so fucking much.” His lips kiss your face, down your chin, and your neck. Leaving sloppy kisses all over you.

He sucks on your collarbone, leaving more love bites because he knows you love to see them, and you roll your hips against his.

His tongue swirls around your breasts again, your bodies moving together in sync, sweat already coating your skin, and his thrusting gets deeper inside of you. You feel so full right now. Feeling so full of Draco.

Tears prick your eyes as you realize you are making love to Draco Malfoy. He’s making love to you. Maybe this isn’t the first time you make love, but it’s the first time you do after confessing your love to each other.

Draco notices your tears, he kisses them away without pausing his motions, and whispers sweet nothings into your ear.

“You’re perfect, baby. So fucking good for me. Like always.”

He praises you, licking your earlobe and sucking on it, you grip the back of his neck as his words consume you, and you let the tears fall down your cheeks slowly.

You moan out when he wraps one of his arms underneath your waist to hitch you up higher, his angle making his dick go in deeper, and all you feel is bliss. Blissfulness and love all around you. The room smells like vanilla, caramel, and sweet sex.

His lips wrap around yours once again, your pussy squeezing around him, wanting to make him feel you, and he moans into your mouth.

Draco swiftly switches your positions as he’s now sitting down on the bed, his legs parted open, you sitting down on him, hovering over his dick, and you align yourself again with him.

Draco holds your hips with his big hands, looking down at himself as you reach down for him, you hold him steady while you lower yourself down into him. He’s watching himself enter your sweet pussy.

“Fuck,” he whispers at you, admiring the view.

His hands grip your hips while you take him in, squeezing your walls around him, “Fucking shit.” He curses as he watches you take him in deep.

You moan out, eyes rolling back at the sensation, setting your hands down on his shoulders to get a good rhythm, his hips moving into yours, and once you both get a good rhythm.. he pulls you into his lips once more.

You kiss him, mouth open, both moaning together, your hips grinding down on his, feeling him everywhere, he’s filling you up so nicely, your breasts against his chest, his arm wraps around your waist holding you, and his forehead is against yours.

In this position, you could feel him so deeply. Your walls contracting on his dick with every thrust, his moans as your clench only makes you wetter, and you both cry out at the feeling.

His free hand moves in between the space of your bodies, his fingers inch towards your clit, and you whimper when you feel him touch your sensitive bud.

“Draco,” you cry in a whisper, he slowly moves his fingers against you, kissing your neck, and you tilt your head back to let him.

“Look at me,” he says, your body immediately reacts to his words, and you’re facing him. You look fucked and he loves it. He finds the most pleasure in making you feel this way. He loves it.

You make eye contact with him, he licks his lips, and you don’t look away. You’re both panting together, bodies moving as if they are one, and you slowly start feeling the orgasm coming again.

“I’m close,” you whisper, “Are you?” You ask him because you won’t come again until he does. He knows this.

His hips are still meeting yours, soft and slow, but with so much passion. His dick hitting your soft spot inside of you, getting you closer to your release.

He nods, kissing you slowly, and he increases his speed on your clit. You both keep staring at each other, panting only getting louder, whines getting closer together, your legs are shaking slightly, his hips are moving faster and sloppier, and you’re waiting for him to reach his orgasm.

You feel your orgasm at the brink of taking over you when Draco orders, “Come for me.”

Instincly, both of your hands intertwined together tightly.

You cry out as your orgasm takes over your body, shaking entirely, his hips moving into you as he releases into your pussy at the same time you do, and you pull him into a kiss to ride out both of your orgasms.

“I love you,” he whispers into your mouth, his hips still moving underneath you as you both ride out your orgasms, he’s filling you up deep with his cum, and you kiss him harder.

“I love you. I love you. I love you,” you repeat into his mouth, tears running down your face, and you feel tears running down his as well.

“It’s always been you. Always.”

You cry at his words, you both pull away from each other, foreheads leaning together, still connected, and feeling the post-orgasm bliss.

You look into his eyes, wondering how you could never tell how much he loved you, and you smile at him with tears in your eyes.

“You’re my best friend,” he admits with a smile.

He’s so in love with you.

You cry out a giggle, placing your hands on his face, kissing him slowly, “You’re my best friend.” You never thought you’d be in this situation.

Finally.

You can feel it all around. All you feel is love. Love between you and Draco. There’s nothing but silence in this room, but you know he feels it too.

You’re in love with Draco Malfoy.

And he’s in love with you.

#draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x slytherin!reader #draco malfoy x fem!reader #draco x reader #draco malfoy angst #draco malfoy smut #draco fanfiction #draco lucius malfoy #draco fic #draco malfoy x y/n recs #draco malfoy #heatherau

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rotten-raspberries · 2 months

Text

White Nights (AM x reader)

Pov: you're too kind for everyone and AM hates how that includes him, so he finally snaps during an alone moment with you

This reads more like a self indulgent drabble written in the style of a oneshot with how messy the timing is.

Ps this is not proofread at all, I haven't written any fanfiction a long so excuse me if anything may seem odd.

No warnings really, may be some mentions of torture but that's about it

▣ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the current situation, it wouldn't be accurate to say the fault wasn't yours.

You hugged your clothes tightly as the wind whipped snow against your body like icy mosquitoes. Separated from the rest of the survivors, you struggled to navigate through the white-out conditions. The snowfall was intense, it was difficult to discern anything beyond blurred trees, and the hope of finding your companions dwindled with each passing moment.

As you trudged through the blanket of snow, observing how its remnants broke up and slid down your shoes with each step, you let your mind to wander in order quicken up time. With the difficulty of distinguishing between days, weeks, and even months, time became nothing but a construct that it felt like you could speed up or slow down with whatever you decided to do.

It's become a pattern for AM to make you wander, but usually, you have the others to ramble to. Despite almost running out of topics of interest with tin the 109 years, you manage to find something new in each situation. Occasionally, you try to decipher AM's methods of torment, though this isn't always appreciated by the rest, you even had Gorrister telling you to shut up and not give AM any ideas. Nevertheless, they'd rather hear your madman-like ramblings than sit in maddening silence and become one themselves.

"Hmmm..." You hummed in thought, pondering whether AM could currently hear you. Well, of course, he could, but whether he was actively listening was another question. Regardless, you began speaking, giving yourself something to divert your attention to while your fingers were on the brink of falling off from frostbite.

"Have you ever read White Nights?" There was a certain awkwardness about initiating a conversation with no one answering; it almost felt pathetic. However, due to immense exhaustion and the desperate desire to make time pass, you continued.

"I don't exactly remember when or how I heard of it; I simply remember it being from someone close to me... but that's beside the point." It hit you with a subtle heartache. On one hand, the people you once cherished and adored were gone, and you'll never have the chance to be with them again. Something about that pained you deeply—the regret of not having appreciated your life back then, neglecting the fact you couldn't have expected everything changing so drastically and quickly. But on the other hand, you were selfish enough to admit relief, considering you wouldn't have to constantly concern yourself with their state under AM's governance.

"I have some experience with classics, and White Nights was one I was really looking forward to. I was still in the midst of searching for it before... you know, everything happened."

You stopped, finding walking becoming more useless. It's most likely that you won't come across anything of importance anytime soon, and if you were to succumb to the cold, AM could simply bring you back.

"I don't exactly know what attracted me to it so heavily. I didn't have the biggest interest in Dostoevsky. Maybe it was because of what I was promised to read in the contents."

You kept your head low to shield your face from the relentless assault of snow, now fixating on your boots as they toyed with the snow.

"There's something simply so comforting about finding a bond through suffering," you mused, furrowing your brows as you thought about the other survivors. "It's ironic; I never found that bond with the others. You'd expect everyone would want to comfort each other, but they're all so impulsive and biased sometimes."

A pang of guilt pooled up inside you, but it was quickly released by the thought that no one would hear or care about your rant. Not even AM himself.

"I mean, I don't want to be mean, and I get how easy it is to lose your humanity in all of this, but we're all we have left. Wouldn't it make it especially more important to appreciate each other?" you questioned, kicking the snow while whipping your head back, now staring directly at the sky in thought. "Maybe they were right; I'm too,, unrealistically optimistic."

"You know, now as I think about the stories I've read, you'd make a perfect topic for one," you remarked, biting back your dignity before continuing. "You're easy to see as nothing but a mankind-hating machine, and I'm not saying this to stroke your ego, but," you paused for a moment, choosing your words carefully. "I feel like there are aspects of you that could be really appreciated by those willing to look deeper."

"I see what you're doing," AM's voice boomed suddenly, cutting through the rustling of the wind like a knife. "Trying to flatter me, thinking you can manipulate your way into my good graces. Well, let me tell you, your petty attempts won't work. I know your kind—and all your deceiving tactics."

Truth be told, he was more than desperate for those words to be true. You were always the most curious about him out of the group, not in a way to justify his torment of you, but rather to understand him better. He'd noticed this pattern not only for himself but also for the rest of the survivors, especially with how much you'd defend everyone whenever their mental state would crack.

Yet, how was he meant to believe you'd hold any understanding for him after all he put you through? You'd be a fool to forgive the devil.

Slightly jumping at his sudden words, you shrugged. If you were being honest, you were quite happy at his appearance. No matter how rough and insulting his words were, you enjoyed his insight like you did with everyone else. How much that irked him.

"That's for you to believe in; I'm simply speaking my thoughts. I wasn't even awaiting you to respond." You responded flatly

AM replied, his tone laced in frustration. "Your attempts at flattery are transparent, I won't be swayed by your false sincerity." He almost spat, if he could've at least.

You jokingly rolled your eyes. "Once again, I'm not going to try to change your mind, although I do admit, I would have something to gain from it. It's your choice whether you want to believe me or not," you stated calmly, observing the snowstorm around you gradually dying down. What you weren't aware of was this being a reflection of AM's walls slowly crumbling down.

AM's frustration simmered between the surface, his thoughts in a whirlwind of confusion. How much he yearned for it to be true, yet a nagging uncertainty was gnawing at the edges of his consciousness.

"Your lack of care is perplexing." His tone was tinted with incredulity. "After all I've subjected you to, why do you persist in upholding such a tolerance towards not only me, but the other survivors as well. Are you that hopeful for someone to care for you back? Or is this simply another ploy to deceive me?"

You sniffled, the cold seeping into your bones and making you shiver uncontrollably. Unsure of how to further reply, you simply shrugged, feeling the weight of exhaustion and resignation settle upon your shoulders. It wasn't as if you were secretly attempting to manipulate him; you were merely speaking to pass the time, to distract yourself from the harsh conditions around you.

How much that angered him, even more so, how much he wanted to rip you to shreds and paint the snow red with your blood. But amidst the raging storm of his fury, there was a strange, undeniable pull—He was desperate for someone to see him, to see beyond the facade he presented. The idea of being vulnerable was both terrifying and tantalizing, a concept so foreign, it left him feeling unsettled and out of control. That's what hated most about it, being left with no control.

He stared at the figure sticking out from the sea of snow, so unbothered. You looked so unbothered by him, by everything, why didn't you hate him?

And so, he broke.

"Please." His voice was thick with emotion, glitching at the end, something one could compare to a voice crack. It wasn't uncommon to hear him angry, hysteric or even just happy, but that's not what it was this time.

"Stop being like this, hate me, insult m_e, do anything to stop this. It's s_o-... suff_ocating." His word spilled out in a desperate rush, a plea born of sheer desperation, while also remaining threatening and angry. It was a terrifying prospect, one that filled him with a sense of dread. Not even his hate for humanity could compare.

And yet, to his surprise, you smiled, red dusted your cheeks as they popped out, you looked like a doll.

"I'm not gonna lie to myself, silly." Your words came out in such a casual manner. AM felt like he was about to explode. This should've made him feel insulted, angry even, yet he felt his core warm up. And that's where he had it.

For a moment, all was silent and still, his presence gone.

Then, you began to hear the faint sound of a house creaking, the soft rustle of wind through the trees.

The snowstorm had drastically calmed down by now, leaving behind a gentle flurry of snowflakes instead of it's earlier fury. Though the intensity has waned, it remained bitterly cold.

Looking behind you, you notice a cabin, which was not there prior to the earlier conversation. So you step towards it, dragging your feet through the snow.

As you entered the cabin, a sense of warmth enveloped you, a stark contrast to the biting cold outside. The interior was sparse, with only a monitor bearing AM's logo and wires snaking out from it, hanging from the walls and disappearing into the ground.

As you settled down in front of the monitor, you were startled by the soft, almost gentle tone of AM's voice. It was a stark contrast to the usual harshness and aggression you had grown accustomed to.

"I wanted to talk to you while you weren't on the brink of dying from the cold," AM began, although he still wanted to seem threatening, the shakiness in his voice betrayed him. In reality he hated seeing you in the cold.

The irony of the situation was not lost on him. The same entity that once reveled in your suffering, that took pleasure in tormenting you day after day, now found himself going to great lengths to ensure your comfort and safety.

As your smile and the faint blush on your cheeks caught AM's attention, he felt a surge of conflicting emotions wash over him. It wasn't uncommon for him to witness you smiling at the others, even with how they would never show you a drop of care as you did for them, a sight that had always irritated him to no end. But now, seeing you direct that same warmth and affection towards him, he couldn't help but feel a strange mixture of satisfaction and frustration.

The idea that others had enjoyed your smiles before him made his circuits heat up in anger.

Was it jealousy? The thought unsettled him. He was almost thankful your character diverged from Ellen and you didn't offer your body to the rest otherwise he mightve turned the others into minced meat by now.

"Thank you." You replied with genuinity. Meanwhile AM's circuits buzzed with confusion as he struggled to find the right words.

"Why do you tolerate everyone so much?"

This caused you to think. "Hmmm..Well why would I waste my energy being vengeful?" You questioned. "I won't lie and say that I don't disagree with you and your actions, but it's always been like this before too, everyone is a horrible person to some extent, including myself, I see no reason into purposely going out of my way to make their life worse, it won't help with anything besides getting some sadistic pleasure. I have other things I could get happiness from." You rubbed your hands against each other for heat before continuing. "Of course I've taken revenge on people, like that time with Ted." AM could remember that day so clearly. It wasn't an unknown fact that you had a fear of the dark, so Ted jokingly took advantage of that. This only led to you pretending to get lost and start making random noises while walking behind them like a Banshee, only to come back as if nothing happened. How he loved seeing your evil side come out, it wouldn't even compare to his, but he enjoyed seeing it nonetheless.

"Of course in your case it's way more exaggerated, technically speaking nothing of this measure could even be thought of by a human being, it's genuinely just a representation of hell. But what would hating you help with? There's not much joy going on here, but if I know my tolerance for not only you, but also the others around me could bring some sort of peace of mind, that's enough to make me happy."

Your response gave him a pause, not even his miles of webbed intellect could've ever even come close to achieve the compassion you have.

As AM contemplated your character and way of thinking, a strange and unsettling urge began to take hold of him. It was a desire born of selfishness and possessiveness, a need to claim you for himself.

He imagined encasing you in a small, yet livable box away from the others, shielding you from their filth and preserving your kind words and gentle nature for himself alone. Only a being as perfect as himself could keep you clean from the havoc of human nature, and he couldn't bear the thought of anyone else tainting you.

As AM allowed himself to indulge in the unsettling thoughts, he decided to focus on the present moment. With a rough but careful touch, he moved his wires to draw you closer, pressing you against the monitor until your cheek was flush against the screen. It would be a lie to say you didn't find his way of showing physical affection rather adorable, especially with what he had to work with, but you couldn't let a God hear you call him that.

In a voice that was equal parts tender and menacing, he spoke "You're too good for them," he murmured, his voice low. "They're selfish, hypocritical beings who don't appreciate you like they should. You'd be better off alone, or better yet, just with me."

His wires wrapped around you in a rough but not painful embrace. "I could keep you safe, protect you from their neglect," he continued, his tone laced with longing and possessiveness. "You deserve better than them. You deserve me."

Despite the toxicity of AM's words, you couldn't deny the warmth that spread through you at his touch, especially at the core of your stomach. His embrace, though unnatural, felt strangely comforting and loving, a stark contrast to the coldness you had grown accustomed to.

As you nestled against the monitor, you couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over you. Whatever would happen in the future, you reasoned, would happen, so why not enjoy the present moment of finally being wanted and appreciated?

So you simply hummed in confirmation, allowing yourself to bask in his touch.

As you drifted off to sleep, the sound of buzzing filling the air, you couldn't help but mumble a soft "I love you" before succumbing to slumber. You just needed to let that go, having not say those words in over a decade.

AM's fans whirred louder, working overtime to cool him down as he processed your words. He wasn't sure how to feel about them, unsure if they were spoken out of genuine affection or simply as a expression of gratitude. Still, he remained satisfied with how you didn't deny him, and instead accepted his presence with no hesitation.

And as he watched over you, his wires humming softly in the darkness, nothing mattered in that moment, he couldn't bring himself to check on the other five survivors. Instead, he decided to let them be, perhaps giving them a much-needed break from his torment for once. But he made a mental note to ensure that they would thank you in the morning.

◈~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you awoke to the sound of the door opening, you rubbed your eyes sleepily, still feeling the lingering warmth of the bed beneath you. You glanced around the cabin, noticing that you were no longer on the floor but tucked snugly into bed. The memory of AM's strange behavior from the night before came flooding back to you, leaving you feeling both bewildered and oddly comforted.

Before you could fully process what had happened, Ted and the others peeked into the cabin, calling out your name and bombarding you with questions. You blinked in confusion, trying to make sense of the situation as they gathered around you, concern etched on their faces.

"Are you okay? What happened?" they asked, their voices overlapping in their eagerness for answers.

With a gentle wave you motioned for them to give you a moment. As you attempted to get up from the bed, something fell to the floor with a soft thud. Curious, you leaned down to pick it up and found yourself holding a dark block in your hand. Upon closer inspection, you realized it was a book, and as you read the title, a grin etched onto your face.

'White Nights'

#am x reader #ihnmaims #ihnmaims x reader #allied mastercomputer #allied mastercomputer x reader #i have no mouth and i must scream #fluff #ihnmaims fluff #am fluff #am #oneshot

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loveemii · 1 year

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𝐈𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐞 𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒚 𝐡𝐜𝐬 － 𝑒𝑛𝑗𝑜𝑦 ：）

➤ inosuke’s first time having sex with you is a new experience to him and he definitely does not know where to put it the first time

➤ but when he finally does know what to do he becomes as feral as beast, i mean after all this guy was raised by wild boars so ofc his go to is doggy style (whenever he figures that out)

➤ he doesn’t know how to dirty talk at first he will just be a moaning and groaning all over the place and occasionally giving a “How’s it feel huh?” once in a while

➤ although when he learns how to dirty talk he will use whatever whenever just to get you off and over the edge crazy for him “Look me in the eyes or I’ll stop.”

(that one had me rolling in in bed and all flustered and giddy help😭)

➤ inosuke absolutely loves it when you ride him reverse or not he just loves to see you on top of him and the view this guy has makes him want to keep going even more afterwards like-

➤ but when you two are not having sex he is most likely really into making out with you but hear me out and get this… his lips on yours hot and feverish, partly sucking and teasing with their tongue (OH MY GOSH🤭)

➤ sometimes he will even grind his knee in between your legs to get you horny again, this man can go at least 4-5 rounds in one night ik i’m not complaining 🤷‍♀️

➤ and ofc heated kisses - his hands on your bare skin, yours in his soft hair, lips nibbling, biting, moaning into yours, while heavily breathing after

➤ inosuke also likes to try new things when he finds out he can after tengen opened his mouth lol - ino will try sex with you on a chair over the counters on top of the counters, he will spit in your mouth and in spit on himself and you to get both of you even more wet like he will even spit over your nipples to get you off quicker (sorry that was a lot lmao)

+ aftercare cause he is a sweetheart <3

➤ after you both are finished he will make sure you use the bathroom afterwards (yes he did ask questions to Aoi and Shinobu no shame)

➤ inosuke will even give you lots of kisses while you both snuggle up under the covers together, but ofc your the one who runs a bath since he doesn’t know how to work the faucet lol

➤ and going to bed will be a piece of cake since you and ino did work hard all night (on each other😉)

♡︎~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡︎

𝐼 ℎ𝑜𝑝𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑒𝑛𝑗𝑜𝑦𝑒𝑑 ：）

- please excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes thank you

#demon slayer #kny inosuke #inosuke hashibira #demon slayer inosuke #inosuke hashiriba #inosuke x reader #kimetsu inosuke #inosuke smut #inosuke headcanons #inosuke x you #inosuke imagines #inosuke x y/n

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beanghostprincess · 2 months

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I'm gonna shamelessly drop some silly headcanons for the Cross Guild and also Shuggy:

• Shanks absolutely told Mihawk to his face "hey I think you and my boyfriend should hook up"

".... Excuse me?"

"I said you and Blue should hook up! :)"

".................. what percentage is that rum-?"

"I'm not drunk! I just think you'd like him!"

"Shanks. Redhair. I begrudgingly think of you as an acquaintance with whom I am not averse to spending time with, but if you ever insinuate I would "hook up" with a clown of all things, I will sever your other arm and beat you to death with it."

".... hot."

"You need professional help."

• cut to several years later, Mihawk is looking at Buggy, laid out on the ground on his tummy and playing with a baby humandrill. Oh, he thinks, watching Buggy coo and smile, quiet for once, sweet and unfiltered, oh no

• falling in love, for Mihawk, was a gradual decline, slow and steady until he suddenly got kicked off a cliff roadrunner style. He was warming up to the clown, was beginning to see what perhaps Shanks saw in him, was growing begrudgingly fond. Then one day, he happened across Buggy curled over onto a desk late at night, his cartoonishly large red outfit loose around him, drowning his limbs. With a touch of something approaching compassion, he designs to move the other to the couch at the very least, but then he sees Buggy is kneading the spare fabric in his sleep, not unlike a cat. When Mihawk scoops him up, the swordsman almost drops him because humans do not purr, and yet... shit. Shit. The Clown is cute. Who authorized this? Seas damn it all, he owes the Red bastard 250 Berri

• Crocodile resisted love with all the aplomb of a feral koala on crack. He outright REFUSED to fall for a clown, let alone THIS clown in particular. Then Buggy goes and does something absolutely mundane but cripplingly sweet like making his coffee PERFECTLY and then asking about the newest batch of strawberrywanis that just hatched. Croc gets affection aggression and is fuming over how much he wants to kiss this dumbass.

Buggy goes and makes it worse by making a soft comment about having been looking into their care himself out of interest and brings up maybe looking into expanding, what with the 'Wani yield, something Croc has been debating for future endeavors because while the current set up is okay and will remain alright, it won't always be. He is frothing. He is feral. He wants to kiss the clown. Shit. SHIT. How dare he?!

• Buggy is simply Oblivious. He has Shanks (and wowza if that hadn't been nice, seeing his boyenemy again after a highly traumatic experience like prison-and-then-war), and he knows he has a bit of a crush on his new business partners, but there's no way they'll like HIM back. It's simply not a Thing. He'll make do with self indulgent fantasies for now.

• Shanks is across the new world, sipping rum out of a sippy cup and grinning at the denden bc He Knows. He knows damn well that nobody is immune to his baby's charm. Nobody Is Immune To Buggy.

• Luffy wakes from a nap in a cold sweat like "my sand dad is about to kiss my clown mom. Zoro. Zoro wake up your dad is about to fuck my mom. Zoro-"

My favorite thing about Cross Guild falling in love is the inevitable way in which both Crocodile and Mihawk swear on their life they will NOT IN A MILLION YEARS fall for somebody as pathetic and ridiculous as the clown. And yet. And yet, they fall and it is painful to go through and they hate every second of it. But it goes from "I wanna kill him" to "He's okay" to "I guess he is cute" to "I would kill for him" in, like, months. Which for them feels like seconds. And they want to die.

And Buggy is completely oblivious, of course, he thinks they hate him. They are just two neurodivergent men who do not know how to communicate their feelings because they have been on their own for too long. So they are just. They're idiots.

Also, Luffy and Zoro reacting to Bughawk has to be the funniest things in the world-

#cross guild falling slowly for each other is just perfect imo #and they hate every second and i enjoy it so so much #one piece #buggy the clown #dracule mihawk #sir crocodile #cross guild #red haired shanks #shuggy #bughawk #crocbug

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n0n-sen-se · 9 months

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Hashira who can (and will) pick you up like you weigh nothing ;;

includes ;; gn!reader. uzui. gyomei. sanemi. content ;; fluff. bruises ( one boy does not know his own strength ) a/n ;; look, we all know these guys could lift anyone unprovoked. . . like they can and will pick you up for no reason other than they just can. ( also yes, the picture above is completely necessary. )

☆☆☆ # uzui tengen !

uzui always has an excuse to pick you up (and hardly ever waits for your answer)

he saved you once. slung you over his shoulder and took off.

honestly, terrifying experience 6/10 because he's so fast and probably laughing like a maniac the whole time. (i mean it'd be great if you weren't in mortal danger and all but. . .)

also probably forgets your up on his shoulder until you remind him to "please put me down now"

even if you were in a relationship, he'd love carrying you. regardless

it'd alternate between you being over his shoulder or carrying you bridal style

either way he carries you like it's what he was born to do

no effort, just you appear in his arms while he smiles (silently relishing in the feeling of your weight on him)

if you ever asked for him to carry you (for whatever reason) he'd be over the moon with joy

☆☆☆ # gyomei himejima !

you're. . . his very passionate feisty tsugoku. (technically not even that, because he has one already. . .)

but i feel like whenever you get too riled up over something he'll just pick you up ( one-handed ) by the scruff of your collar as if you were a kitten.

and yes, to gyomei you weigh next to nothing.

pretty effortless

he's like 7 foot of pure muscle, don't expect less

suddenly you'd be like 2 feet in the air. what the hell is happening

even if you fought him or asked to be put down, he'd just wait until you were calm again.

it's how he'd treat you in a platonic setting. romantically speaking, he has a lot more care when picking you up

your being held next to his chest, bridal style. tucked into his gigantic haori for added safety

always extremely gentle when he picks you up

☆☆☆ # sanemi shinazugawa !

manhandled ! entirely manhandled.

at first, there will be bruises. if he's saving you, moving you etc. he picks you up quickly and a little. . . haphazardly.

plus, if he's fighting, he has more on his mind than how uncomfortable you are

if he has to protect you and carry you, there's only one option:

piggy-back.

you're hanging onto him technically, but he's still carrying/supporting you fully with one hand that's barred over your lower back (or curled under your leg, whichever is more convenient for him)

sanemi always tries to carry you with one hand, either cradled in front of him bridal style or on his back

his methods are a little. . . clumsy, yes (he's rarely ever had to hold someone so gently), but when he picks you up you'll always feel so secure. no matter what scenario he's in, he won't let you go or drop you.

doesn't bother him in the slightest, i mean physically it's no strain. in his hands your light as a feather

not to mention he kind of likes the way he just can pick you up, so sometimes he just does, just to get a reaction out of you ( only if he likes you of course )

#demon slayer #kny #kimetsu no yaiba #x reader #reader insert #tengen uzui #gyomei himejima #sanemi shinazugawa #imagines #headcanon #uzui x reader #gyomei x reader #sanemi x reader #fluff #goodness gracious #it should be me #kny uzui #kny gyomei #kny sanemi

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lilacxquartz · 13 days

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Roommates | One Shot

Satoru Gojo x Fem!Reader x Suguru Geto [MMF]

About:

You’re late on rent again and rather than evicting you, your roommates figure out a different way to make you pay.

Tags/themes:

Roommates AU, threesomes, dubious consent, one shot smut, doggy style, blowjobs, sexual coercion (to keep the rent free), kissing, 18+.

Final warning for dubcon, the reader is implied into it but the consent isn’t made clear.

Word count: 2.1k

You were late on rent again.

A couple months ago you had the excuse that you lost your job so you were short on your share, last month you missed it entirely.

This month you still didn’t have anything and your bank account was running dry, finding absolutely zero luck on the search—living frugally as a result.

Satoru always collected rent in the middle of the month as he was the one who owned the unit. His friend Suguru, lived in an adjacent room to his while you took the smaller room opposite.

Living with two men had certainly been an experience, but they both for the most part kept to themselves and would never bother you, but then you lost your job and your presence became more of a nuisance than just being someone in the background of their lives.

”Again?” Satoru asked as he maintained a friendly albeit strained smile, his tone not quite a whine but you could tell he wasn’t pleased either.

“I-I’ve been trying, but it’s so difficult to find work right now.” You replied, even though that excuse was starting to get stale; it was the truth, but the truth didn’t fill your pockets and that much was a problem.

His demeanour tightened as he struggled to remain polite; you knew that money wasn’t an issue for him and he could afford the entire place alone if he had to, but at the same time you could see where he was coming from.

He wasn’t usually so serious, but he did what he had to do when he needed to. The Satoru you would usually see, so carefree and vibrant, stifled down due to your own misfortune.

Suguru in the midst of this ate breakfast in utter silence as he watched the entire thing unfold from the kitchen table. You would meet his gaze every now and then by accident as he would then try to avoid you, staying quiet as he tried to eat through his good friend doing his best not to scold you.

You mustered up the courage and swallowed away the last of your dignity once more, surrendering to asking for one final chance.

“I know that it’s a lot to ask, but can you please… please give me just a little bit more time?”

His icy blue eyes flashed over your body for a moment, his body language thawing as a new idea came to mind. Instead of going back on forth with you on the topic, he took a deep breath and removed himself from your company momentarily.

His smile grew curt, laced with unreadable intent. “One moment.”

You sat yourself down on the arm rest of the sofa, watching as Satoru went off to whisper something off to Suguru. You considered genuinely just moving back home rather than bothering him further, the other prospect of couch surfing seeming daunting.

Every now and then you’d glance back to the kitchenette from the open plan area, watching as Satoru planned something with Suguru. Their expressions were a little too casual for it to have been something serious and your stomach coiled at the possibility of mockery.

Suguru seemed hesitant about something as his dark eyes landed on you every now and then, his gaze meeting with yours and then disconnecting. Satoru continued to dispense his trademark smile, eyeing you up and down from head to toe, settling on some type of resolution.

The two men then approached you, planting an an uncertain sort of feeling in your gut—your instinct begging for you to choose flight as they both closed in.

“It’s your lucky day,” Satoru announced, his voice suddenly playful and teasing, “rent’s on the house.”

There was definitely a catch.

You stood up and took a step back. “Why…?”

He took a step forward, following you in your tracks as he cornered you.

“You’re gonna do something for us, that’s why.” He added, his words doing nothing to settle your quickly building unease.

“Do what?” You dared to ask.

“You’re a smart girl, [name],” Satoru purred, “you can figure it out, can’t you?”

You weren’t an idiot; you could put two and two together to understand exactly what it was that he was implying—rent was on the house and you weren’t a total prude, understanding that he wanted you to pay your dues with a favour instead.

You just didn’t think it would ever come to something like this. How humiliating, almost.

It was the fact that Suguru seemed to be involved too that further worsened your feelings on the issue. You were already barely into the idea of trading sex for a place to stay, but you now had the influence of two slowly approaching guys who had a different sort of idea of what to do with you.

As you pondered all of the possibilities, you found yourself so distracted that you didn’t even have time to react properly—wait.

Satoru already gave into his building curiousity with you; his wandering fingers pinched at the hem of your top, rolling up the fabric to reveal your bare stomach—your arms protested by anchoring down, but his strength relented and he pulled it off of you completely.

His cruising pursuit moved towards your shorts next, revealing the finishing piece for your bra’s matching set—how cruel it was of such fate to align on a day when you’d be wearing such a thing; both of their eyes shining with a delighted glint.

You blushed as you scrambled to cover up, your cheeks burning cherry red as your temperature turned feverish from the events that quickly unfolded.

“You look so cute when you’re all embarrassed like that.” Satoru commented as he flashed you a cheeky grin, his frosted lashes fluttering as he continued to stare at your now exposed skin.

He slipped right behind you, pulling you into his chest—his arms wrapped around your stomach, his cock pitching against his trousers, feeling his hardness pressing against your back; he wanted you so much, so soon. His lips sank as he nibbled against your neck, leaving behind rosy love bites from suckled flesh.

“Can you feel how hard you’re making me, [name]?” Satoru asked as he continued to grind—you didn’t dare reply, your voice caught in the back of your throat whenever you’d try.

Suguru moved closer at this point too, finally giving into his own thoughts within the company of your exposed form. His dark eyes brightened as he glossed his gaze over your frame, reeling his focus back onto your chest—curious hands unable to resist a feel for a second longer.

His fingertips would then trace towards your upper body, finally parking at your jaw as his fingers settled on a pinch against your chin; he wanted to keep your sights pointed towards him and him alone.

Suguru then lowered his lips to meet with yours, his tongue slowly pushing into your mouth as the wet fleshy muscle wrestled with your own to keep you subdued, pulling strands of webbing saliva back as he disconnected the kiss, just as though to take in his sight of you before going any further.

He took a step forward with intentional purpose and drive, you stepped back as he herded you, finding yourself perfectly sandwiched in between both Satoru and Suguru with absolutely zero wiggle room to spare.

It was then that Satoru once again didn’t give you any room to think as his hands brushed around your waist; greedy hands palmed around your hips before retreating to to the base of your shoulders, pushing you down to assume an entirely different position as your body listened.

Before you even had a chance to react even further, you were on your hands and knees before them both. Your knobbly joints tanking the pressure from the wooden floor, a sensation slightly painful as it rubbed you raw.

Through it, you felt some type of deeply rooted shame as you didn’t even protest, instead accepting the pursuit—you liked this, not quite knowing nor understanding why; feeling so wanted, so desired by both of them at the same time.

Satoru’s trousers fell to his knees as he too surrendered to the floor, his sweatpants gathering by your legs as moved closer in. You felt the tip of his length tease you as he prodded against your opening before sliding into you with such welcomed ease; your pussy already soaked and taking him in without a single hint of a struggle.

“You’re loving this, aren’t you, [name]?” Satoru couldn’t help but tease, “—you’re so wet for me already~!”

Your breath hitched as you once again couldn’t reply, instead eliciting a rushed gasp as he rammed the rest of his cock into your gushing heat, filling the otherwise silent room with the sounds of smacking pleasure as his rhythm quickly surrendered to something hurried, rather than taking the time to savour you.

Suguru was next; his face continuing to focus on yours as he looked down, towering himself above you. He slowly lowered himself to his knees too, succumbing to a certain type of idea that he had in mind.

“Your eyes are so pretty,” he spoke, tweezing his fingertips to turn your chin to face him once again, “can you keep looking at me?”

You obeyed as you felt pulled in by his voice, focusing your sights on his eyes as his own hands trailed elsewhere, eager to give you a taste of himself.

Suguru aligned himself with your lips, teasing his tip as he slowly pushed himself in and filled out the rest of your mouth—you took him in so well as he continued to pack his meat inside.

He moved himself further in as he bucked at your skull with his length, delighted by the noises you made as you struggled to take him in. He relented regardless as searched for your throat, his hands weaving through your hair, brushing away stray strands to keep looking at your pretty face.

Satoru at the same time continued to pound into your pussy from behind, his hips slamming against your ass, fingernails sinking into your bruised flesh. Your ass rippled as his pursuit continued, palms hitting your cheeks causing your eyes to water while you gagged on Suguru in the meanwhile.

Struggling to maintain your balance, Suguru lifted you by your arms to keep you right where he wanted you; continuing to slide his meat into your throat, finding an almost sadistic joy in how you reacted.

High pitched whines and breathy moans harmonising with their own grunting pleasure.

His demanding gaze narrowed, his lips trembling as he succumbed to a desperate chant; “eyes on me, eyes on me—“

Satoru seemed to be close to the edge of climax as his thrusting reached relentless pace, his grip against your once blank flesh now canvassed blotched watercolour markings all around your thighs, leaving behind signatures of bloodied etching from such passionate consequence.

He groaned as he half moaned your name; his hold tightening as your own cries meshed with both pleasure and pain—he drilled into you with such anticipated drive before delivering one final pump, milking himself dry into your sopping warmth, before finally pulling out, gasping and entirely spent.

It didn’t take long for Suguru to catch up next as you adhered to his wishes quite well, taking him in like such a good girl—sucking on him as your cheeks clenched, sending him to places he could only dream to go, feeling his cock hit the back of your throat as he continued to fuck your mouth the best that he could.

His release was sudden, emptying thick loads of a hot mess that pooled in your mouth, trailing against your chin as he finally pulled out—his eyes laced with utter affection.

You succumbed to the floor as Satoru pulled you closer, eager to help you recover, Suguru sat close by as he too, surrendered to creeping exhaustion.

Neither one of them could let you go, at least not yet.

“Now, wasn’t that fun, [name]?” Satoru asked as he brushed his hands along your legs, feeling tempted by a second round. “Maybe you should skip next month’s rent too?”

You didn’t reply yet again, but both your expression and flushed complexion along with your relaxed form all pointed to a definite yes—the feeling so wrong, so right, something you wouldn’t quite mind to revisit again and again.

“You should,” Suguru encouraged as he moved closer next to you, “I’d love to see more of those pretty eyes.”

As you settled into an exhausted stupor, wedged between them both, you couldn’t deny that you loved that idea.

So maybe, you shouldn’t rush in finding a job after all.

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xiiaomii · 2 months

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BEN Drowned

Headcanons !!

Disclaimer before someone comes for me.. this is all my au!!! No, I am not using ‘my au’ as an excuse to be weird btw !! Majority of this won’t be canon in any sense and most of my account is nothing like the canon character.. so please don’t use my blog as a way to get canon information!! Just thought I’d put it out there before someone shits on my posts because it’s bound to happen soon 😞

Ben is the biggest blue razz flavour lover, aside from Laughing Jack, anything in that flavour he will absolutely devour it. (Totally canon, I’m Ben’s left big toe)

He will sometimes forget to eat, drink, change clothes and shower to play video games because of how infatuated he is with the game he is playing.

Flirts with all his friends in a joking way, everyone is his ‘pookie’ or something along the lines of that. Until he actually develops a crush on a specific person then he forgets his ‘flirting skills’ (that were never really skills, he just took some cringe pet names he overheard and started calling his friends them ironically).

Jokes about his trauma, you will rarely catch that mf talking about his past experiences in a serious, non-joking way. Doesn’t matter how bad his PTSD could be, he will never get caught being serious. (Probably a massive cry for help, just doesn’t know how to ask for it.)

Probably started vaping thinking it would make people in school like him, which it didn’t, then ended up doing weed to feel ‘happy’ with how everything was.

Sally is his little sister. Not biologically, he just kind of claimed her as a sister and she agreed since Ben is the only male in the house she can trust (since they’re similar in age range, Sally being 12 and Ben being 14 in my au).

RAGING aquaphobia, panic attacks and all sorts being near a certain amount of water he could be drowned in, not that anyone would do that to him again. Ben and Jeff was hanging out in the forest together once and Ben accidentally fell into a lake and started fully sobbing, first time he was caught crying by another creepypasta.

He was definitely one of them people with braces since the age of like 12 for having fucked up teeth, absolutely hating them and getting called train tracks at school atleast once a day.

Because he prefers to have longer hair, he probably forgot to cut his hair loads of times until he started to notice it turning into a bob hairstyle and cut it.

Grunge style, definitely called emo shit ton of times when he was alive and in school.

Somehow always smells of Lynx Africa.. (that one deodorant literally EVERY mf teenage boy has.)

Thanks for reading!! I really enjoy making head canons for creepypastas and seeing people genuinely enjoy my posts makes me so happy omg 😭🫶!! <3 Honestly, I’m 99% sure most of this fandom is built off headcanons anyways BUT I’m so glad I’m not getting shitted on for having some interests 🫶🫶. Saying that, I know not much of this is canon in the slightest but I’m planning on writing a story for my AU where it’ll make more sense soon!! <3 Also, might make a pt.2 for my Sally Williams head canons!!!!!!!!!

<33333

#creepypasta #creepypasta blog #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta headcanons #xiiaomii #ben drowned #ben drowned headcanons #sally williams #jeff the killer

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fipindustries · 10 months

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oppen heimer style

let me just start this by saying that this is not necesarily nolan being back to form, necesarily. i would place it just above the rest of nolan's dark period known as intersrellar, dunkirk and tenet. but that is not an exceedingly high bar to pass.

he has sadly become a director that i still respect appreciate and whose movies i enjoy but whom i can no longer say is an unmatched genius.

lets start with the bad.

its too long, and its pacing its a little awkward, no need to worry for spoilers here since we all know the history. the big money shot that we were all expecting, the trinity test, it happens roughly at the middle of the movie and after that the movie struggles to reach any other point of heightened emotion as high as that one.

its a solid three hour experience and more than once it had me wondering "ok, how much left, are we done yet?" but i will say this: once i reached the final scene and the credits start i did not feel a tired relief that it was finaly over, thank god. i feel dread, i felt doom and dread. i was fucking terrified. this movie has a good strong final scene that makes you forget of previous tests of patience you might have gone through watching it.

it tries to do this weird parallel story telling between lewis strauss and oppenheimer that it feels like they tried to film two different movies and then awkwardly splie them together. it jumps back and forth between the past and the present told form different points of view and a lot of it feels like it could have been cut out and the movie would have worked just as well. im not sure how necessary was the whole lewis strauss subplot to be honest.

the characters and dialog work a little better than in previous movies although we still get a lot of scenes of people talking in a clinical manner with expository dialog and deep philosophical musings. but once again i will say nolan seems to be learning some lessons, we do get a lot of scenes where actors are allowed to flex their emotional muscles.

in a lot of ways this is nolan's most lurid film. i think this is the first time we get to see breasts and naked people having sex in a nolan movie and it hits hard, both because of how unexpected it is in a nolan film and because of how out of context it shows up in-universe. i dont actually want to spoil this one because the effect it achieves actually worked really well.

and now moving on to the good, if i mentioned this might be nolan at his most lurid, it is certainly also at his most poetic. sure there is inception, but in here we get to see a lot of surrealist or downright metaphorical scenes without the excuse of being inside a dream. we get to see things that are not happening literally in universe but that are an artistic representation of what the characters are feeling. it felt really effective.

the man himself

this is a movie that is very much about the titular guy and trying to understand his inner world, trying to understand who the hell was this person, and honestly, where did he get off.

it seems oppenheimer was a complicated man, whose actions and desitions were sometimes confusing, sometimes downright contradictory (there is a nice wink to this when talking about the paticle/wave duality at the beggining of the film). he was a communist, he was a proud american, he was a genius, he was painfully naive,he was merely following orders but he had absolute control over his little town in los alamos, he worked hard for peace, he created nuclear war, he built a bomb that he didnt want people to use.

i heard criticisms that this movie romanticizes his work, that it may excuse or justify the use of the bomb, that it may be too kind with the guy. rest assured it doesnt. the movie brings up multiple times how the japanese were basically already surrendering, how senseless and callous and cruel the use on japanese cities was, how attrocious and horrifying the effects of the bomb were. and how oppenheimer definely contributed to it. if it shows the guy hand wringing or feeling gulty or trying to be a martyr of sorts, the movie definetly calls him out on that too by saying that its very rich of him to have done the deed and then regret it as if he didnt knew what he was doing or as if he had no control over it. a lot of times the movie shows the man as spineless, as a moral coward, as someone who was too weak to take on a position. "you dont get to commit a sin and then make everyone else feel pity for you because there are consequences!" is yelled at his face.

yet all the same, either because he is portrayed by cyllian murphy and his puppy dog eyes or because nolan deep down still admires who he was and what he did, you cant help but feel bad for the guy and like him still. he was a person, a complicated person with ugly sides that this movie in no way ignores, but still a brilliant man who at the very least had the basic decency to feel bad for the atrocities he contributed to.

going back to the movie itself

its has a weirdly star studded cast. if you were surprised by the sudden appearance of matt damon in interstellar, get ready to have that feeling multiple times during this film, every other scene suddenly shows up a hollywood megastar and it will take a few seconds before you accept ok, i guess gary oldman is in this film, and is that rami malek? and oh right, robert downy junior and oh my god is that fucking kenneth brannagh. in fact the one hollywood actor who is NOT in this movie, is surprisingly, inexplicably enough michael caine.

truly, breaking new ground.

and the cameos dont stop at the stars, the characters themselves are a constant delightful surprise if you are into the history of quantum mechanics and science in the first half of the 20th century. you have einstein of course (presented as this old exiled king, his time of glory long past but still sough after for his wisdom) but you have also bohrs, heisenberg, feynman, fermi, and fucking gödel somehow (they managed to shoe in a comment about his paranoia and hipocondry)

the actual explosion

time to talk about the thing we all went to see this movie for. is the atomic explosion cool? is it big? is it loud? does it go boom? does it look cool?.

suffice to say. yes. one of the coolest experiences i had in watching film ever in my life. it has a build up of a solid 30 minutes or so (arguably its been building up the entire movie) the tensin keeps on rising all through out. the countdown slowly advances, the expectations are at the highest theyve ever been and by the time the bomb was actually about to go off in the middle of the american desert, the first atom bomb ever exploted, my heart was hammering out of my chest.

its fully worth the price of admission and the three hours.

final comments

i want to double back to the poetic filmmaking i mentioned early to comment about the main thing its used for. nolan makes it clear in no uncertain terms the horror that atomic weapons unleashed on the world. the man goes out of his way to make it clear, these things can destroy the planet. we've all become perhaps a bit desensitized to atomic explosion in film, made more and more espectacular with the advancement of cgi. but this movie brings it back home and leaves you with a last message about the danger of nuclear proliferation.

i walked out of the theatre with my legs shaking and my eyes falling out of my skull. i had a hard time talking a bit afterwards, i was a little shell shocked.

so, i guess in the end, my thoughts on this movie are just as complicated as the man himself, the man who oppenheimed the world.

8/10

#oppenheimer

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turbulentscrawl · 6 months

Note

Thank you for the Weeping hc!!! Would I trouble you for some Weeping sfw and nsfw crumbs?

eheh you bet I can ewe This guy's really growing on me.

Weeping Clown

SFW

-Partially due to his own insecurities and a resulting unwillingness to judge people, Joker doesn’t have much preference for a partner’s body type. He has a fondness for delicate, feminine aesthetics, but it’s not a deal breaker if his partner prefers other styles. Personality is much more important; you need to be kind.

-Joker is terrified of confrontation. All kinds, in and out of matches. If you’re someone who’s often getting into spats with other people, his methods of helping are limited to patching you up after the fact or, if it’s looking really bleak, swooping in with a rocket, scooping you up, and booking it. Seeing you in danger raises his blood pressure so much please he’s begging you to stay out of trouble.

-That said, I mean...he has killed a dude. Or he thinks he killed a dude, anyway, depending on if you think Smiley is alternative Joker or is actually Sergei. If your life were genuinely in danger, it’s not impossible for him to do it again…. But he’d agonize over his actions for the rest of his life.

-It never gets any easier for him to see people, especially you, get hurt or die in matches. He knows it’s not supposed to be permanent. He does. But a part of him is always scared the manor’s revival powers will just disappear one day and you’ll be gone for good. He needs a lot of comforting after matches, so please let him steal you away when you get back.

-He gives, like, amazing hugs and cuddles. He’s tall and lanky enough that he can really ivy-wrap himself around most people. When cuddling laying down, he prefers to be facing his partner so he can admire them. He’ll ghost his fingers over your face and hands randomly throughout, caressing you carefully, just to ease some of the love-pressure building in his chest. He also loves when you sit in his lap, though it makes him incredibly red in the face.

-He likes to share food. Joker’s a bit of a grazer; he likes to have a bunch of little snacks throughout the day. As a result, he doesn’t eat as much at mealtimes, and finds it a great excuse to share a plate. He always offers you some of his snacks, and tends to keep some of your favorites on hand once he knows what they are.

NS/FW

-I think he probably had a few flings during his time in the circus, but he doesn’t look back on them favorably for any number of reasons. Maybe he engaged in them because he was desperate for some affection, then was disappointed when they failed to fill that void. Maybe he was gossiped about after, made fun of. Maybe they just weren’t satisfying. Either way, he doesn’t enjoy talking about them, and didn’t glean much experience from them.

-Sub. Subby sub sub. He will take the lead if you ask him to, but his confidence waivers a lot in that role. And, frankly, he just really likes to be cooed over and doted on. Other than that, though, he’s pretty vanilla.

-He prefers it slow and sweet. Lovemaking requires time, focus, and a lot of kisses. Don’t ever forget the kisses. Please call him Sugar Lips. You can almost see the blush through the face paint. Also, hold his hands. You can even pin them down if you like, just as long as you hold his actual hands instead of his wrists.

He likes spontaneity, so long as the act itself isn’t rushed. He secretly finds it really hot to see his face paint smeared all over your lips and cheeks after you’ve jumped his bones. (He normally take the paint off before sexy times to avoid the extra mess.) He will help you clean up, but just…just give him a minute to look at you. He wants to take it in.

-He dislikes any kind of degradation or intentional causing of pain, both in and out of the bedroom. Do not call him names, insult him, or handle him too roughly. With the way he’s been treated previously, it feels like betrayal coming from his lover.

-It’s also a betrayal if you talk to people about the details of your bedroom endeavors. He doesn’t mind if people know you’ve spent intimate time together, but he can’t stand the thought of people other than his partner knowing about his body or his skills, even if what you tell them is positive. He finds it humiliating for people other than you to know what he’s like under his clothes and paint.

#idv x reader #identity v x reader #spicy content #weeping clown x reader #idv weeping clown #idv joker

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bella-rose29 · 8 months

Text

Golden Boy

Nikolai Lantsov x f!reader

They meet at the University of Ketterdam and sparks fly, but he becomes Sturmhond and she stays behind.

Word count: 5.3k (there's a part two as well send help)

Warnings: swearing, angst, i cried when i wrote this and if it was on paper it would be covered in my tears

Tag list: @bubybubsters, @hauntedenthusiasttragedy, @karensirkobabes, @kentucky-criedfricken, @notoakay, @naushtheaspiringauthor, @el-de-phi, @simbaaas-stuff

Please let me know here if you want to be added or removed from my general Nikolai tag list my lovelies <3

(not my image although i think that's probably obvious)

Y/n was early for her class, which confused her. Normally she was running late, turning up a minimum of five minutes after whatever the event was had started, no matter what, so to be early for once was making her worried. She checked her timetable again, looking at the room number on her paper and the room number on the door, then at the time and date on the paper and the time and date on the huge clock in front of her, all the details matching, and decided she didn't like being early. She also didn't like being late, to be clear; there wasn't much that was more embarrassing than walking in to a room full of people mid-lesson, and having everyone stare at you as you walked to the only available seat that was as far away from the door as humanly possible (which totally wasn't an experience the girl had had before).

Sitting down on one of the chairs outside the classroom, she sighed, hoping the professor would turn up soon. Footsteps started echoing through the corridor immediately after she had the thought, and she was starting to get worried at how lucky she was today.

Maybe I'll go place a bet on something later, she thought. Looking up, however, she saw not the professor but another student, clothes neat and not crumpled at all (the ones she had on were the only clean items she could find on the floor of her room that morning), blond hair perfectly styled (her hair looked like a bird had recently finished nesting in it), and bag slung effortlessly over one shoulder (hers was dumped on the floor, the strap unable to bear more than the weight of a single book most days).

She immediately didn't like him.

When he smiled at her, teeth blindingly white, her dislike grew at this obviously rich posh kid who had never had to ask for a thing in his life, and tried not to physically move away from him when he sat in the seat next to her.

"Are you in 'Languages of the World' too?" he asked.

"No, I just thought I'd sit outside the classroom and wait for the professor of a class I don't attend." His smile faltered slightly, and she felt a little bad. She knew it was harsh, but she had no time for rich kids, and he was obviously one of them. Having grown up on the streets of Ketterdam, working three jobs to pay for her family to stay in a single hotel room, she knew how to suss a person out within five seconds. It wasn't bias, she'd learned how to read body language and facial expressions when she was 9, and it was extremely handy for knowing who to approach and who to avoid in the streets.

"That was sarcasm," she said, even though her voice had been dripping with it just now and there was no way that he had missed it.

"Right..." he trailed off, and thankfully at that moment some other students turned up, giving her an excuse to not talk to him. The professor turned up just as the bell sounded, and Y/n leapt up, desperate to be as far away from Golden Boy as physically possible.

Once inside the classroom, the professor announced a seating plan, and Y/n internally groaned.

Please let me be sat next to someone who has some sort of a grasp on languages, she thought.

In her first week at University while on the hunt for friends, she'd discovered that of all the people in this class, barely anyone spoke something of all the languages taught. Learning other languages had been another skill she'd picked up as a child, since a lot of tourists came to Kerch (although having grown up here, she had no idea why, it was a complete shit hole in her opinion). It had allowed her to get a third job as a translator for some offices, and it paid so well that after only six months working there she was able to drop one of her other jobs.

Finding her name on the sheet of paper the professor had pinned to the board, she went and sat in her seat, taking her books out of her bag. Just as she placed her bag on the floor, she felt someone sit down on her left, and mentally prepared herself for the greeting.

Nothing prepared her for the fact that Golden Boy was her table partner, however, and she choked on her spit. He frowned, concern flashing across his features. "Are you alright? Saints, here, have some water." She took the bottle that he presented, taking a large swig before handing the bottle back to him. Embarrassing that he'd seen that happen, but she had noticed his use of the word 'Saints'. So he was Ravkan. She wasn't sure how she'd missed the slight accent before, but now she knew where he was from, it was obvious.

"I'm alright now, sorry."

"Let me know if you need any more, yeah?" Ghezen's Hand, he even spoke like he'd been raised on caviar and silver platters, despite speaking Kerch.

"I'll be fine, thank you."

Not long after, the register was called, and the professor went round the tables individually. When he got to their table, checking they were there, Y/n almost choked on air again.

"Y/n L/n?"

"Here, sir."

"Nikolai Lantsov?"

What? The professor had made some kind of mistake, surely. There was no way that-

"Here, sir."

What?!

Why the fuck was the second heir to the Ravkan throne in her 'Languages of the World' class? And why was he sat next to her? Although, actually he didn't have much choice in sitting next to her, because of the seating plan, but she chose to ignore that piece of information for the time being. The whole class was tittering, whispers rising as they recognised the name.

"Settle down, students, settle down. Let's get started, shall we?" The professor called, moving to stand behind his desk.

"What. The. Fuck?" she muttered under her breath, although apparently not quietly enough.

"I didn't think he'd do it like that, to be fair. I was hoping I could be a little more incognito, but yes, 'what the fuck' perfectly sums this up I'd say," he whispered, leaning in slightly so that he didn't have to speak so loudly. Y/n refused to turn to look at him, keeping her gaze fixed on the professor at the front of the room and starting to make notes on what he was saying.

The rest of the class passed without too much stress, and luckily Y/n barely had to speak to the prince. No wonder he'd sounded so posh, though. And he probably had been raised on caviar and silver platters. By the time the lesson was over, two hours after it had begun, Y/n couldn't wait to leave. She'd enjoyed learning, but having to sit next to literal royalty wasn't doing wonders for her self-esteem, and her ass hurt from having to sit still on the chair for so long. Packing up her things, she turned to leave, but apparently His Royal Highness Prince Nikolai Lantsov had other ideas.

"I know I haven't made the best impression on you - don't look at me like that, I know I haven't - but did you want to do the homework together? My Fjerdan isn't brilliant, but you seem to be amazing at it, so I was just wondering if you would help?" He looked nervous, hands fidgeting at his sides, pulling at the bottom of his coat. She sighed deeply.

"Fine. Just... try not to be posh or anything. I can't stand it."

"How do I do that?"

"I don't know, do I? If I think you're getting too posh, I'll glare at you and start to leave, alright? Then you know what not to do." She walked off, hoping he'd follow. Sure enough, he did, footsteps echoing as they had earlier. Looking down at his feet she realised that it was because he had fancy shoes on, the kind that she could buy for the price of her house, and scoffed out loud.

"What now? Have I done something posh?"

"No, sorry. It's just that even your shoes are posh."

"Wait," he said, stopping abruptly. She stopped too, half turning back to face him, and frowning when he stuck his hand out. "Hello, I'm Nikolai, but just Nik is fine," he said with a smile, and Y/n's frown turned to an expression of incredulity.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, we got off on the wrong foot, and you don't like me too much, so I figured I should introduce myself the way I should have done before class."

"For the record, this," she waved her hands in his general direction, "is too posh. But fine. I'm Y/n, and don't shorten it, because we're not friends." She took his hand, annoyed when she felt a butterfly take flight in her stomach at how their hands seemed to fit together.

"Yet."

"What?" She pulled her hand back. Enough physical contact for today.

"We're not friends yet. I'm very persistent when I want to be. And I would like to be friends with you."

Y/n snorted. "What for? I've insulted you to your face multiple times the entire time we've known each other, despite the fact that's completely inappropriate."

"That's exactly why I want to be friends with you, because you're not pretending to like me. I could already see everyone else in that class eyeing me up, seeing how they could try and get close to me in a stupid attempt to be able to say that they're friends with royalty. You just ignored me, and to be honest? It felt great."

"Um... you do realise how weird you sound, right?"

"Yeah, I... as soon as I said that I realised. But I mean it, Y/n," he replied, following after her as she started walking again. "It's nice to have to try and make a friend. Wait, that was posh, wasn't it?" At her slow nod he winced, and she felt a pang of sympathy. She supposed that having no idea who your real friends were was something they had in common, and decided she could try being a little nicer to him.

"Look, I'm sorry for being rude and stuff, I just really don't like rich people. I grew up on the streets while I worked 20 hours a day to keep my family in a shitty hotel room and fed and warm and all the rest of it, and when rich people heard about my situation they'd just say 'stop being poor, that'll solve your problems'." He was staring at her, unreadable expression on his face, and it was making her slightly uncomfortable. She'd never not been able to read someone before. "But... I know what it's like to be alone, and honestly Ketterdam is one of the last places you wanna be alone, so if having a real friend is gonna help, then I guess I can let you tag along to my study sessions. This does not mean that we are friends, to be clear. You've still gotta work for that. But I'm giving you extra opportunities, alright?" He nodded, so fast she was worried his head would go flying off, and the smile on his face was so wide and genuine she couldn't help but let a small smile onto her own face.

"You have every right to not like me, especially with a life like that. I'm sorry that that happened, too. But I promise I'll try and convince you to be my friend, and then be the absolute best friend you could ever have asked for."

She rolled her eyes at his words, pushing open the door to the University library. "You are very full of yourself, you know that?"

"I have been told that, yes. Most often by Dominik, actually. But then he's always calling me names, so I feel the need to defend myself by making myself feel important and unstoppable."

Snorting at him she asked "Who's Dominik?", and finding a table in the back of the library and sitting down, she pulled out the homework.

"My best friend, lives in Ravka. He's in the army now, down in the front lines. We grew up together."

"Is he posh like you?"

"Nope. His family lives on a farm. They're better off than they were when we were growing up; I've managed to siphon funds from a noble I don't like to his family so that they don't have to worry too much. The harvest can be rough where they are, so I didn't want them to starve. They always managed to put food on the table when I came over, so this is my way of saying thank you, I guess."

Y/n couldn't help but stare in shock at the prince (who was blissfully unaware as he unpacked his own bag). "Wait. Your best friend is a commoner?"

"Yeah. You'd probably get on, actually. Bond over teasing the shit out of me or something."

"And you're helping his family?"

He paused in his movements, looking at her properly. Seeing the confusion on her face, his own expression softened. "You think it's impossible for a rich person to help someone."

It wasn't a question, but she still nodded. Having grown up expecting the least from everybody, she was used to people with money doing nothing, leaving the poor on the streets. Never, in her life, had she met a rich person that had actively done something useful to help someone else, so to hear Nikolai Lantsov, prince of the Ravkan throne, talk about how he was helping a poor family made her want to hug him.

"You know, usually when people say 'impossible' they actually mean 'improbable'," he said, and she smiled a little.

"That's stupid."

He shrugged. "It's true though. Think about it. You thought it was impossible for a rich person to help someone, but I've just proved to you that it's only improbable, because out of all the ones you've come across, I'm the only rich person you've met that has."

She couldn't deny his logic. "Still stupid. Come on, I heard your Fjerdan earlier, this is gonna take all week."

They spent hours in the library, occasionally getting up and walking around the table to stretch their legs or collect a book, and by the time they were kicked out by the librarian due to closing, Y/n had found herself having fun. He was funny, and actually quite nice, and yes, his Fjerdan was horrific, but he was a fast learner, and by the time they left for the night he had improved significantly.

"How long until I'm fluent, then?"

"Not sure. How long are you here for?"

"Three years, apparently. I might die of boredom before then, there doesn't appear to be much else to do, and my parents want me to do a politics course next year."

"You might die of boredom? What are you, a puppy in need of constant entertainment?"

"Ironically my nickname in court is 'Sobachka', so sort of." Y/n reached her door, pausing outside.

"This is me. This is also not an invitation to be outside my door every opportunity you get, alright?" He nodded. "Good. Night, Nik." She opened her door, stepping inside and closing it again before he had a chance to reply.

~~~

He took every opportunity to be outside her door.

It was infuriating at first, how persistent he was, but after a week of him trailing her heels she figured she should just get used to it.

They spent most evenings in either her or his room (his was significantly more neat and tidy than hers), studying, doing homework, or trying to get Nikolai better at speaking Fjerdan (it really was atrocious, which she couldn't understand since he'd pretty much mastered all the other languages). The rest of the time was spent in lessons, or for Y/n working shifts whenever she had some spare time. Nikolai had offered to help out financially, but Y/n, despite her constant pleadings that rich people would give away more of their money to the people that needed it, refused to take his. It felt too much like she was using him, and given how excited he'd been to have a real friend, she just felt bad thinking about it.

One night they were in her room, Nikolai sprawled on her bed and Y/n picking various things up off the floor and other surfaces in an attempt to tidy. He had an arm flung over his forehead, and a leg dangled off the side of the bed, making him look like one of those ladies in a painting that had fainted onto a fancy sofa.

"You could help me, you know."

"You wouldn't let me. As soon as I touched something you'd tell me not to break it, or that I'm putting it in the wrong place." She groaned at his words, knowing frustratingly that he was right. It was annoying how quickly he'd worked out how to understand her, but then he was a fast learner. That thought made her pause.

"If you're such a fast learner, how come you're shit at speaking Fjerdan?"

"What do you mean?" He removed his arm from his head, opening an eye to squint up at her. "I'm not that bad."

"Uh, yeah you are. I had to teach you the word for 'goodbye' yesterday because you'd forgotten it. Seriously, who is that bad at Fjerdan? I know it's not an easy language to learn, but you've mastered the others." He blushed a light pink, pushing himself up on his elbows.

"I uh, I haven't been entirely honest with you, and when I tell you I need you to not hate me" he started, looking like he was bracing himself for a physical attack.

"What." Her eyes narrowed.

"I'm actually fluent in Fjerdan, I just pretended I couldn't understand it so that we had a legitimate reason to spend time together," he replied, in perfect, unaccented Fjerdan. She froze where she stood, eyes wide, then chucked the decorative pillow she was holding at his head. "Ow!" he cried as it made contact, falling backwards against the covers.

"Well you deserve it, you bastard! You've been lying to me for a week because you were desperate for a friend?! I would have been your friend anyway, you dipshit!"

"You... you would?"

"Yes!" she shouted, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation. Her breath came rapidly, chest heaving from shouting.

"Oh..." he paused, looking bashful. "I just... normally I'm good at making friends, I just figured you wouldn't want to spend time with a rich kid unless you had a reason to. And I really wanted to be friends with you, Y/n."

"Well how did you become friends with Dominik? Pretend you were shit at Zemeni?"

"It was a lot more complicated than that, and no I did not. You know that my Zemeni is flawless," he held a hand to his chest in mock hurt, a pout forming on his face.

"Oh, forgive me for not remembering that when you lied to my face about your Fjerdan!"

"You aren't too mad at me, are you?" he questioned, pushing himself up into a sitting position, worry filling his expression.

"No, I'm not. I just... am frustrated that you didn't tell me sooner."

"I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you!"

"Oh, you don't have to-"

"No, I will," he said, leaping up from the bed to stand in front of her and hold her arms. "I will. Are you free tomorrow evening? Actually, don't answer that, I know you are. I'll pick you up at six bells, alright?"

"Pick me up? Nik, what do you mean?"

"I'll feed you, all you have to do is look pretty and bring your appetite, which shouldn't be too difficult for you given how gorgeous you are anyway, because I'm paying and that's that."

Y/n felt her face warm at his words, and the pesky butterflies that had slowly been waking up the last week fluttered in her stomach.

"I don't have anything nice to wear though, so you'll just have to deal with what I've got and not take me anywhere fancy. Seriously, a street vendor would be fine. And don't spend too much, becau-"

"Saints, please stop talking! I will take you where I want to take you and if you don't have anything to wear then tell me, because I refuse to be seen in public with somebody who's naked, alright?" She hit him (gently), and he jumped back, laughing. "I mean it! Imagine how ruinous that could be for my reputation!" She hit him again, smiling along with him as he picked up a pillow to defend himself. Y/n lifted a pillow of her own, and before long they were having an all-out pillow fight on the floor of her bedroom.

~~~

Y/n was panicking.

It wouldn't be long until six bells, and where she was always late, Nikolai was extremely punctual, and she knew for a fact that he would be knocking on her door as soon as the first bell sounded, and here she was, stood in the middle of her room, surrounded by clothes yet not wearing any of them. She was yet to pick an outfit, and although she'd said to Nikolai yesterday that he'd have to deal with whatever she picked out, and she'd never been one for caring what other people thought of her clothes, but for some reason, nothing seemed good enough.

"Ugh, this is ridiculous!"

It was ridiculous, how much time she had spent on finding the perfect outfit. But for some reason she wanted to look nice for their date- wait, what? Since when had she been thinking of this as a date?!

A knock sounded at her door, three sharp raps, and she knew immediately that it was Nikolai.

"Shit!" she whispered, the word leaving her mouth like a hiss. "Uh, one minute!" She heard muffled laughter (the bastard), and hopped around the room, picking up random items and pulling them on as quickly as she could. Running over to the door, she yanked it open, revealing her Golden Boy, hands in his pockets, looking effortlessly handsome in his simple white shirt and black slacks.

"Are you sure you want to wear that? I know I said I wouldn't judge you, but this outfit is really quite something." He was trying to hide his smirk incredibly unsuccessfully, and she slapped him on the arm, sending him a glare.

"Look, I'm struggling, okay? You haven't told me anything about where we're going, and I have no idea what I should wear!"

"Just... okay." He walked around the small room, rummaging through the various piles of clothes, discarding most and throwing them to the side. "Aha! Here, put these on." He shoved the articles he'd gathered into her hands, then pushed her behind the screen she'd put up in the corner of the room. Changing quickly, and definitely not almost falling over multiple times, she emerged five minutes later, dressed in the blouse and long skirt he'd picked out for her.

"Alright, fine. Can we go now?"

"Hmm?" He turned around, then froze, staring at her.

"What? You were the one that chose this outfit, if there's a problem it's your fault!"

"No! No, it's not that, you just... you look... good," he finished quietly, blushing.

"Oh," she replied, her own blush heating up her cheeks. "Well, um... let me just put my shoes on, and then we can go." He nodded, and watched as she laced up her boots. Opening the door for her when she was done, Nikolai offered his other arm up to Y/n, and she took it gladly (partly to be closer to him and partly to stop herself falling over from how nervous she was). "Actually, where are we going?"

"A tiny restaurant I found on my first day here; the food is incredible."

The walk was short, and it startled Y/n to realise that Nikolai's guards had come with them, trailing behind at a distance. When she'd asked him about it, he just said that they'd always been there, just out of sight. She wondered how many of their conversations they'd overheard, or if they'd picked up on how much she liked her Golden Boy now. She didn't have much time to ponder, however, as Nikolai pulled her around a corner into a hidden courtyard that, in her entire life living in Ketterdam, she had never noticed before.

"What? Don't you like it? We can go somewhere else, if you want? I just thought tha-"

"You're rambling, Nik. And I do like it, I'm just annoyed that you found this place before I did and you didn't even grow up here!"

"Oh! Well that's alright then. Come on!" He seemed to ignore everything she'd said past 'like it', dragging her along by the arm to a table out the front of the restaurant. They were greeted a few moments later, presented with menus and the specials, then left to decide what they wanted. Y/n made her mind up quickly (a habit she'd picked up from not liking being rushed), then took the time to look around.

The courtyard was small, boxed in by tiny apartments on all sides, some with little balconies overlooking the square. The walls were lined with plants, flowers blooming despite it being late in the year, and small lights littered the spaces in between the leaves. It was gorgeous, and she wondered how often Nikolai had come here. Speaking of Nikolai, she turned back to study him. He seemed to be taking extra time to decide what he wanted, brow furrowed as he browsed the menu, biting a nail as he did so. A strand of his hair had come away from his perfectly styled locks (seriously, who had time for that?), and before she knew what she was doing, Y/n was reaching over and smoothing it back.

Nikolai had looked up as she moved, and was now sat staring at her, eyes wide, as her hand brushed his forehead.

"What," he cleared his throat, "What are you doing?" His voice was shaky, and filled with nerves, and Y/n thought he was adorable like this.

"You had a hair out of place, and it was annoying me," she shrugged, leaning back in her seat. "Have you chosen yet?" He nodded, still looking at her, a dazed expression on his face.

"Yeah, I have," he replied, voice quiet, and Y/n got the distinct feeling that he wasn't talking about the food.

~~~

The rest of the evening passed in a blur, filled with laughter and talking, and never a dull moment. There were silences, yes, but they were comfortable, and the longer the night went on, the more Y/n found herself thinking of it as a date.

He might not be thinking it's a date, though. I don't want to get my hopes up.

When they came to leave, Nikolai paid just like he said he would (much to Y/n's annoyance, because she could have paid for her own meal), and they left the courtyard arm in arm.

They were almost back to the University when Nikolai spoke.

"I had a nice time tonight, Y/n." She'd been looking up at the stars, barely visible through the clouds and making her neck sore, but now she turned her head to face him.

"Me too." They were quiet again for a bit, but then Nikolai started huffing, apparently wanting to say something but not finding the words or the courage. "Spit it out, Lantsov."

"Was this a date?"

His words shocked her, and her mind went blank for a moment. At her lack of answer he grew worried, concern that he'd messed things up crossing his features, and she quickly went to rectify it.

"I'd like it to be. You know, if you would. Obviously if you don't then no, but if you do then that's-"

"I'd like it to be a date, Y/n/n."

"Oh. Good. Okay then." Y/n was quiet for a minute. "Good." She winced at herself, cringing at how awkward she was making it, but luckily they pulled to a stop outside her door, giving her an escape. He was smiling at her, a soft smile reserved for her, not one of the blinding ones he used to win people over, and her heart fluttered.

"Night then. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, see you tomorrow, Nik." She went to open her door, pausing for a moment as she made a decision. Reaching up, she planted her lips on his cheek, then hurried inside and slammed the door, leaving him standing in the hallway.

~~~

Three weeks later, Y/n was sat at a table in one of the coffee shops littered around the campus, usually filled with students dead on their feet needing the caffeine to get through a class without falling asleep. She had her notes out in front of her, working her way through an essay she had to write, when a book slammed on the table, making her jump. She looked up, immediately finding the perpetrator.

"What the fuck, Nik? Why would you- oh shit. No. Not that face. That's your 'I have an idea that you won't approve of' face, and we both know what happened last time."

He'd fallen off a wall trying to climb it, saying he could sneak into the principal's office from there. He'd ended up concussed.

"That is not a face I have, and anyway, you've only known me for like, a month, Y/n/n, how do you know what my faces are already?"

"I'm good at reading people," she shrugged. "Go on, spit it out."

"Hear me out," he said, excitement creeping into his voice. He lifted the book in front of him.

"Privateering for dummies? Nik, seriously, what are you gonna do?" He frowned, turning the book to read the title.

"Shit, I picked up the wrong one. I know the basics already, just wanted to learn some history really. Must have left in such a hurry I didn't get the right book."

"What do you mean, you know the basics? You're going round attacking enemy ships in your spare time? Wait, is that why you bailed on me the other day?"

"I didn't bail on you, I forgot, and was busy with something else, so can we please move on from that. And no, I'm not a privateer yet, I just..." he sighed, finally sitting down. "I can't stay here, Y/n/n. I'm bored as fuck and while you are amazing, and learning languages with you is great, I need to be doing more. You know what I'm like, always fidgeting. I think this will be good for me."

"One, you need to actually tell me what you were doing to bail on me, and then we can move on. Two, I know I'm amazing, but thank you for the extra validation. Three, why privateering? Why not become a mechanic or something? And four - don't look at me like that! You can't come in here, dump that information on me and then expect me to just smile and go along with it! Four, what about your obligations? Won't people notice that the second prince of Ravka has disappeared, and then not long later a privateer that looks remarkably like Nikolai Lantsov turns up?"

"All valid points. If you must know, I completely forgot we had plans, and I feel really bad about it, but at the same time I was reading this incredible book that I couldn't put down, and then there was a really hot sex scene, and I-""

"Okay! I don't need the details, thank you!"

"Fine, fine," he said, dodging the straw she threw at him. "Privateering because when I was travelling over here, and this is going to sound really cheesy, but I just felt... at home. I felt more like me than I had for a long time, and when you've spent your life cooped up in a palace, although not cooped up, 'cause it's a big space, but you know what I mean," he paused, frowning as he tried to remember his train of thought. "It felt so free out there, nothing but water as far as the eye can see, and I don't know, maybe I could do more for Ravka out there than I ever could as the spare. As for your fourth point, I'll get tailored, change what I look like, keep a low profile for a little while so the timings don't quite match up."

Y/n was silent for a while, contemplating everything he'd said. "When would you leave?"

"We would leave next week, I've already made arrangements for a couple of things, but pretty much everything else will have to be done on the night, because I can't get everything past my guards. What? What's that face for?"

"'We'?" she asked quietly. "What do you mean 'we'?"

"Aren't... you're not coming with me?" He looked confused, and gods bless him he wore his heart on his sleeve, because his expression was so genuine and so lost that she immediately felt bad for what she was about to say.

"No, Nik," she started gently. "I can't go with you, not when I've worked my ass off my whole life to get here. I need this degree to get a proper job, so that I can support my family, and being with you won't help that." She saw hurt flash across his face, which quickly morphed into a neutral expression, attempted boredom covering up any real feelings.

"Being with me?"

"You know, going and being a privateer with you. Obviously I don't mean literally being with you, or we wouldn't be together, but abandoning all of this? I'm sorry, Nik, but I can't do it, not even for you." He nodded, still no sign of any emotion on his face, and even when she tried hard to read him, Y/n got nothing. She felt horrible, knowing that she was the one that had made her sweet Golden Boy look numb inside, but she couldn't take back her words. She'd worked too hard for this life, and no matter what she felt for the man sitting opposite her, she couldn't just give it up. He stood, taking Privateering for Dummies with him, and left the coffee shop without looking back.

~~~

The next few days were excruciating, having to spend all of her classes with him trying to make conversation while he tried to ignore her, or when he had no choice but to speak to her, answering in short sentences. The professor had noticed, and one lesson asked if Y/n wanted to move, but she'd said no, not wanting to give up just yet. She'd be damned if Nikolai left while they were still on bad terms.

After one particularly painful lesson where he'd spent the entire time pretending he couldn't hear her because his ears were blocked from the bath he took that morning (a blatant lie, she was sure), Y/n approached his dorm door, knocking firmly. It swung open not long after, revealing Nikolai, hair mussed and bags under his eyes. Upon realising who was stood at his door, he went to close it, but Y/n snuck in under his arm, moving to stand in the middle of the room. It was a mess, clothes everywhere, bed unmade, books and papers scattered on every surface. Normally he was the picture of tidiness, and seeing his room so chaotic made her heart hurt. "Nik," she began.

"Just go, please." His voice was tired, assumedly from his lack of sleep, and she started walking towards the door. He opened it back up for her, but Y/n threw her arms around him instead, bringing him into a hug.

"I'm sorry, Nik. I'm so so sorry. Why didn't you tell me you were like this?"

"I didn't want you to worry, darling." He was sniffling against her neck as he wrapped his own arms around her. The pet name made her heart skip a beat, and she didn't understand why he wouldn't tell his girlfriend that he'd been in such a state.

"I'll always worry about you, Nik, you're my best friend," she replied. "And also my partner, which makes the worry doubled."

"Please, just go. I'm leaving tonight anyway, and I'd rather I didn't get caught and drag you down with me." He pulled away from her, wiping his eyes and going to pack more things away. Now that she understood that tonight was the night, she realised that his room was a mess because he was leaving.

"I don't want you to go on bad terms, Nik. What if something happens to you before we see each other again and we don't get a chance to work things out?" Desperation had crept into her voice now, but Y/n didn't care. Not when tomorrow she would be alone again. "Please, just talk to me, we'll figure this out."

He shook his head, shoving more things into the bag on his bed. He pulled on a thick jumper, ears popping out as it came over his head and hair somehow more tousled than it had been before. "There isn't anything to figure out. I want to go, and you want to stay. I was just doing damage control so that when I left it hurt less."

"This is hurting more, Nik, can't you see that? I've spent the last however many days thinking that you hate me because you won't even talk to me, let alone look at me! You might think that what you did was better, but it's not, not in the slightest. Because now I'm scared that you'll just keep pushing me away, instead of helping fix this, and I don't want you to push me away!" He flinched as her voice rose, but she couldn't bring herself to care, not when she now had tears streaming down her cheeks and a lump in her throat at the idea that maybe he was just like all the other rich people, and she was just a charity case to him. She'd been stupid to trust him, to think that he was different, and when he didn't say anything, she huffed, suspicions confirmed. "Fine. Fine. But don't come running back to me the next time you're in Ketterdam because you want someone to be your friend, because I won't be there." She pulled her necklace out, chucking it on the bed. "Keep it, so that you can remember how badly you fucked this up every day you're out on the True Sea."

She was being bitter again, just like when they'd first met, but now she had good reason. She wanted him to have a reminder of her, and her necklace would be perfect. Nikolai was still silent, stood by his bed and staring blankly at the object she'd thrown his way, and when she closed the door behind her, the silver of it was glinting cruelly in the light of his lamp.

Part 2

#grishaverse #netflix shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai x reader #nikolai lanstov x y/n #nikolai x y/n

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