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vioranhyperfixation · 1 month

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Damian : #011, it has come to my attention that you are unproductive at the leisure time you are excuse with during the time when I'm unavailable. And that's just improper.

#011 : um.. Then what I'm supposed to do? There's nothing here.

Damian : i have realized that too so I decided to brought upon you this

#011 : ???

Damian : this is doll's, a toy with a shell that have similarity to human that most use to play pretend.

Damian : that would also be the case for you. You shall use this doll's to help develop your productivity and creativity.

#011 : ahhh..

Damian : would you like to play it with me?

#011 : yeah!

Damian : then shall we make a series of stories with those doll? Let me start it, this girl is a star, her name is Khalila. She is a bright star, it just that she has a problem, she has not yet granted a human wish like all other star has done. So she was hoping to find someone to grant wish to, upon that thought she caught a brown girl looking hopefull at the sky and she thought, maybe this would be the day!

#011 :

Damian :

#011 :

#011 : uhhhh,, should I continue it?

Damian : yeah, just said anything you want

011 : "star, if you can hear me, please listen to my plea. My brothen had betrayed me and I'm left with the rubble of my home..

Damian : *nod and nudge him to continue

#011 : "I use to think that they would always stand besides me, I don't know they feel that that they are behind me! I- I just want the best for all of us!

Sometimes in the future at the wayne manor

Bruce : Rafi, is there anything you want to do on the weekend?

Rafi : yeah, I'm going to continue the ten wish

Bruce : is that a show you watch?

Tim : what it is about? I don't think I ever heard of that.

Rafi : of course you don't, because ten wish is not a show. It's my doll's lore on the 34th universe

Bruce : sorry?

Tim : well, that's interesting

Rafi : it is, currently my main character. River, is undergoing a survival competition to secure a position on the Catalyst. But because she is well known on her talent of fighting and intelligence she need to use other way to compete, and that's is by registering herself as a professional mourner

Bruce : what?

Rafi : you know, It is a tradition in South East Asia that a loud funeral will assist the dead as they travel to the afterlife, so professional mourners are hired to cry and weep loudly throughout the service. And she register herself as that. I mean, most of her loved one are dead, so she's pretty good at it. Crying and weeping that is.

Bruce : I don't think that's a good way to deal with having your loved one died.

Rafi : I don't want to hear that from someone going feral when his son died.

Bruce :

Tim :

Tim : yeah, I won't lie. It is pretty bad bruce

Rafi : anyway, it has been going pretty well on river part. On the other hand, things are going pretty badly on Khalila part. Jupiter and Neptunus heve yet to come back after the moon revolution.

Tim : wait- wait- you mean evolution?

Rafi : no, revolution.

Tim : okay- I think we skip a big part here.

Rafi : yeah, obviously. This is part 57, you skip 56 part, you're missing on a lot.

Tim : can't we, start from part one?

Rafi : god no, it's a lot. If we put it into book it can lead from 7 to 9 book! If you want to know about what you're missing at you can ask Jason, he listen from the start since we are at LoA. If you don't feel like asking then just skip it, you will understand later anyway.

Jason *who's putting a criminal body to a trash can : hatchuu-

Roy : bless you man

Jason : is someone talking about me? God I hope it's not Bruce.

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natspats · 2 months

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can you pwease write some ted angst to fluff hcs? maybe sth abt reader rotting in bed away and ted a bit sad for not realizing sooner and quickly making it up by coming in to give some comfort 🫶🫶🫶

omg i love this, im a sucker for angst to fluff. thanks for the request!

your wish is my command! 🫡

rotting away in your bed is not how you like spending your days. but, when something bad happens, you have a tendency to shut down a little bit. on top of this, you’re normally a productive person, so being unproductive makes you feel 10x worse.

ted goes into your apartment, goes to your room to find it a mess - clothes everywhere, makeup scattered on your vanity, blinds shut - and you piled underneath a lump of blankets.

ted would definitely overflow with guilt at not noticing sooner. how could he not have noticed his love was having a hard time?

ted would climb into bed with you - which initially would scare the shit out of you until you realized it was him - and wrap you up in his arms, rubbing your hair, whispering to apologies and sweet nothings to you.

“i’m so sorry my love, i’m so sorry i didn’t notice sooner.”

you guys would eventually fall asleep, and about an hour later, ted would wake up before you and begin to clean up your room.

he picks up your clothes for you, puts your makeup in all the right places, and turns a lamp on.

you wake up to find your room clean and your ted standing there with a broom.

oh, and he’s absolutely smiling, not a sign of complaint on his face. “you gotta start somewhere!”

he would order you food for dinner, (your favorite place ofc), and after you eat, you guys would watch your favorite movie on the couch, all snuggled up.

this includes: head scratching, playing with your hair, counting the freckles on your shoulders, looking at all the parts of you that he loves. (every part)

lotssss of back rubs as you lay your head in his lap.

and whenever he stops, you grab his wrist and put his hand right back on your back.

“more?? yes ma’am, whatever my babe wants.”

eventually you fall asleep, and he realizes this because you stop moving his hand back.

ted would ramble as you sleep, going on and on about how much he adores you.

“you’re my favorite girl, always and forever.”

“remember, i’ll always be in love with you so if i begin to think otherwise, snap me back into reality.”

“i love you my love, the love of my life.”

“p.s. i love you”

#ted nivison #ted nivison x you #ted nivison x reader #ted nivison fluff #ted nivison angst

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jenthebug · 4 months

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Oh, *that's* why I'm on disability

Most days, from the start of the year until today, have been good days (minus a few for another cold >_<). I've been at my baseline fatigue level (4/10, avoiding high energy tasks, doing everything else tired), being productive around the house.

That, combined with my lack of income (still waiting on disability), made me think, well wtf, why don't I just go back to work if I'm doing so okay?

Then today happened. 6/10 fatigue all day (low energy tasks only, and only the necessary ones; cooking is hard, some foods may be hard to eat). Very little work got done. I've been brain foggy all day, forgetting my tea and my water and words.

Almost let the cat out. He was walking toward the back door like the dog does, so I said, "Soba, want out?" and reached for the door.

I wish you could have seen the look he gave me. If he could have said "Dafuq?" he totally would have.

So I actually had a conscious thought. Soba = inside cat. Do not let out. "OH! Sorry Soba, that's not what I meant to say." And then he went downstairs on his merry way.

But yeah! Today has been awful and unproductive and brain foggy! Good reminder that I'm actually where I need to be. But damn, I wish days like this didn't happen. (And also that I had an income. Come on money cat.)

#insertcaffeine disability #fatigue #brain fog

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prettyprettypurin · 1 year

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Not to bring up queer discourse because it is truly rancid and unproductive most of the time but the way people will be like ‘gender is not real’ and then simultaneously believe that sexuality is strict and fits in a neat little box is so absurdly silly to me like… ppl say all the time “lesbians can be attracted to women and “”””woman aligned””” non-binary people” what the hell does the even mean. Truly. Cause I don’t think there’s any other way to interpret that aside from “non-binary people that LOOK like women to me and I therefore see as women” which is so weird and invalidating honestly.

Like let’s all be honest here if you saw a non-binary trans man who doesn’t plan to transition out on the street and thought they were attractive your not gonna know unless you actually pursue them, and if you did, do you seriously want me to believe that there’s a little switch that would go off in your head once you found out how they saw themselves and you’d go “EWWW this CREATURE has been touched by MANHOOD” and poof you’d suddenly no longer think they’re hot. Like do you really expect me to believe that because I don’t. You can recognize their personal identity and NOT see them as a woman or “woman aligned” person and still think they’re hot.

Besides even if this hypothetical person WAS in the middle of or post transition… where is the line between trans/non-binary men and non-binary he/him transmasc butch lesbians. Would you like to get in front of the class and point to it on the board??? Cause IF there is one that thing is about as thin as a strand of silk. Now don’t get me wrong, this is NOT to say that there is *no* difference between these two identities and I completely understand that plenty of trans men do not want to be lumped in with lesbians for the very obvious reason of feeling like that inherently misgenders them, but there are also plenty that ARE fine with it because of their personal relationship with their gender, and let’s be real a significant portion of them have been in the lesbian community for years anyway and it is their safe space and very much their home and they are also aware of how they are viewed by society/outside their own perspective of themselves (which as much at it sucks, is also an aspect that is unfortunately important in gender/sexuality conversations even if everyone wishes it wasn’t).

And then to further complicate the matter there’s amab non-binary people, who people just LOVE to treat as “basically men” or “tainted” or some kind of other nasty terf crap. The point that I’m trying to make is that people seem to have a FUNDAMENTAL misunderstanding of what non-binary means, it’s quite literally NOT binary and while SOME peoples identities are going to clearly and neatly fit in boxes, many will not. No one is telling you that you HAVE to be attracted to these people or that you yourself ever will be but sometimes people that identify as lesbians are going to be because human beings and real life are messy and every second you waste arguing online with someone about their personal identity (who you are NEVER going to be able to convince to change by the way in case you haven’t figured out how that works yet) is a second that you could be using to do literally *anything* actually productive for your community.

To quote Kourtney Kardashian, “Kim, there’s people that are dying.”

#queer #lgbtq #nonbinary #lesbian #mspec lesbian

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densitywell · 9 months

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Orympost I dare you. Consider me the sick fuck egging you on

me reading this ask

ok so. i love Orym so much and I truly have too many thoughts abt him to be contained in one post so let's just start with the trauma, the thing that defines Orym not just as a character but also discursively. this discussion often feels very surface level, not much more than a simple acknowledgment that Orym is sad bc dead family. which is a shame, bc the thing that really strikes me about Orym's grief is not simply that he has it but how deeply it has shaped him, consumed him. the death of his family often gets used as a reason no one should ever challenge him on anything ever, which is an incredibly unproductive and unhealthy way to view trauma, and also obscures the much more compelling and poignant truth; Orym is absolutely not handling his trauma productively or healthily. i have made a meme to further express my feelings on the matter.

so, i remember quite well the first time i watched Orym's resurrection in episode 34.

when he sees Will in the afterlife and says, the most sincere he's ever sounded (and he is so sincere all the time), "I really wish I could stay." and in that moment i realized; oh, Orym would rather be dead right now. Orym would rather be dead right now, because it would mean he got to be with Will and Derrig.

another moment i think about a lot: when he's talking with Uther, a member of the Gorgynei, in episode 42, about naming his sword and about their times traveling, and Uther says: "it's nice to have a home finally, after traveling for a long time. i hope you and your friends can find a home, or return to the ones you have."

and Orym says: "I'll think of a name [for his sword]."

it's a fun kind of synergy that Orym is a dex based character who is also, emotionally, so slippery and avoidant. always deflecting. he's defined by his steadfastness in battle and his stubborn refusal to change outside of it. it's notable how stagnant Orym felt, as a character, up until the Issylra arc. very intentionally so; he's likely been in a state of paralysis for much of the last 6 years. he really wishes he could stay. i don't think he's accepted that he can't.

or that there's reasons not to: of all of the many Orym moments i think about all of the time, the one i think about by far the most is his conversation with the Wildmother, all the way back in EXU, when she tells him, so lovingly:

"There is so much I would have you see."

that, more than anything, is the line that defines Orym to me. you can see glimpses of it, in his love for the Hells, his amazement when he's dancing with the spirits or watching Ashton blow 200 gold gambling; on the other hand, in his refusal to really engage with the gods debate (as stated by Liam himself) or his continued discomfit with some of his friend's oddities. there is so much world, so much beauty, so much love still out there for Orym to experience, if he would simply let himself. revenge is nice, i hope he gets it, but it will simply never be enough. it will not give him the capacity to love fully again, and if he gets the revenge and not the love he will end up empty, hallowed out, leading a life always wishing he could be somewhere else.

right now he's regressing, reduced down to nothing but that painful wound, abandoning even so much of his kindness and reason. the hells can help, and they should and they will, because they have so much love to give. but Orym will have to open himself up to it, to them, first. i really hope he does!!

#orym of the air ashari #critical role #cr #he is so sad!! i don't know if you all understand how sad this little man is!!!#orym cr #okay i hope this all flows decently i can simply not look at it any more. downloading bg3 as we speak #long post /#wavebiders #thank you for this excuse to throw a small section of my many many feelings abt orym into the ether!!#crposting

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infinitestarsdev · 23 days

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Devlog 2024-04-22

Hey Everyone! It's not Friday, but I felt I couldn't wait any longer before updating all of you!

Yes, I am alive. Thank you for all the concerned messages and well wishes. I've been snowed under with family and work!

We've had my brother visit from Germany, A good friend visited us from China, it was our wedding anniversary, and my birthday on top of a few super busy weeks with work! I also took some leave, and drove nearly 1300KM (That's almost 800 miles) or roughly 15 hours in one day over the weekend to the coast. (The little one took it much better than I was expecting, thanks to the frequent breaks!)

My plan is to use this time to write as much as possible for the work-in-progress episode of Infinite Stars, and I'm currently writing this devlog from the veranda of the home we're staying in with a view of the golf course in front of me, and the ocean behind me. (Expect plenty of pictures on the Patreon Devlife channel on Discord!!)

I haven't been entirely unproductive in my silence, though!

The bones of the next content drop is very much in place. I'm also busy onboarding a new writer to the team, meaning Crowbie and I will have an extra pair of hands to get things done!

We have the new pinup for April, and this time, it's Mayvheen, with a cute SFW and NSFW image (WARNING: The NSFW work is probably the most revealing pinup we've ever done!)

We're also teasing the new soundtrack. Can you guess whose theme it is?

As always, thanks for your love and support! I know I say this a lot, but that's because it's absolutely true: I couldn't do all of this without all of you! <3

Stay safe, be blessed and have a super productive week!

#visual novel #scifi #infinitestars #amwriting #art #vn #choicesgame #sciencefiction #space #gamedev

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creekfiend · 1 year

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Just wanted to say thanks for "people from culturally Christian backgrounds" because that seems like a good way to phrase it, and I'm going to try to remember to use it when I'm talking about this sort of thing. (I try to not be a dick to people, when possible, and trauma's messy and complicated.) I'm sorry that some people are being horrible in this whole discussion, and I hope you are doing okay.

I'm doing fine! I really sympathize with most of the people involved in this tbh (except the outright antisemites of course lol) bc like I HAVE seen a lot of reactive and reductive and unkind blanket statements about this by some jumblr people in which they are condescendingly explaining other people's realities to them. Which is my LEAST favorite thing. Jumblr can also be really... umm, dog pile-y in a way that I find frustrating and unproductive. However. I think it's also fairly obvious that most of these reactions are trauma responses, and while that isn't an excuse it is an explanation and provides additional context that I do not feel is irrelevant. For jews we have constantly been told 'well simply stop being jewish' like all the time by everybody, often at gunpoint. So like, when I see nonjewish atheists assert that stuff jews are TELLING you they have gone through "literally never happens" that ALSO REALLY SUCKS. like so so bad. Cannot overstate how much that sucks. Cannot overstate how much it sucks to see ppl I sympathize with deeply wrt their mistrust and hatred of like, organized religious authority, align themselves with people who refer to jewish atheists as "religious nationalists" for refusing to divorce themselves from their ethnic backgrounds/culture/community/traditions. That rhetoric is Just antisemitism in a form that has been used to cause real and violent harm to us in living memory.

Also really alienated by the idea that one must be This Vitriolically Angry About Religion to "count" as an atheist. Like what? That is bonkers. I do not understand why the people making seemingly reasonable posts about "actually here's some interesting writings by people from Islamic cultures or majority Hindu cultures or orthodox jewish cultures outlining the ways that the authorities in these societies have used religion to cause harm on a systemic level" (objectively true) seem to be aligning themselves with people who are doing the SAME THING TO JEWS that they resent being done to them -- e.g. condescendingly explaining to us that our negative experiences with a certain type of atheists Don't Exist or Don't Count or cannot possibly be rooted in antisemitism.

I find the whole thing depressing and troubling. I don't tend to follow jumblr because of the aforementioned issues I have w it but this backlash seems to me to be disproportionate and really hateful in a way that... combines poorly with the increased antisemitic sentiments being lobbed at jews from all ideological sides recently. I wish we could all be more congizent of 1. the role trauma is playing here for everyone and 2. the inherent lack of productive discussion that can be had when two parties are simply Trauma Responsing at each other back and forth endlessly.

Then there's the people who just get super aggressive about people "believing fake things" but I'm not sure there's any help for them. Sure wish that the nonjewish atheists who are not like that would disavow them though! I certainly am more than happy to say "acknowledging a cultural/societal dynamic that privileges one religion and culture as default and that existing in thay culture might cause people to have unexamined assumptions about other religions and cultures" should not be weaponized against individual people in order to bully them by insisting they are a thing that they manifestly are not (atheists aren't Christians. The fact that atheists from Jewish backgrounds will have Jewishness shackled to them regardless of their degree of identification with Being A Jew is actually bad and a function of antisemitism; it is not an aspirational dynamic we should be applying to other people simply because their cultural background is privileged over our own in our society.)

Like can we stop talking past each other and try to understand where people are coming from

People are expressing a lot of hurt and anger about atrocities and systems of oppression that I ultimately feel are totally interconnected. Because of this hurt and anger most people are not being precise in their language or prioritizing connecting or actual dialogue about this and instead focusing on dogpiling and gotchas. It's discouraging.

I'm a secular humanist jew with complex feelings towards both jewishness and atheism as concepts and movements. I want to understand and connect with people based on our common ground.

This is I guess all me being a big baby who is unsuited to internet fights but this one specifically feels really hurtful to me because I feel like my reality is being ignored and denied. I suspect a lot of people are also feeling that way. Which might be a good place to START the discussion to be honest.

#jewish #u ever just write a whole essay #anyway try loving people more and maybe youll calm down

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grapejuicegay · 27 days

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Get to know me tag! :)

I was tagged by @telomeke here and @dribs-and-drabbles here.

do you make your bed?

I try to! On days that I'm too busy to make it in the morning I do so about half an hour before I'm getting to bed. I don't like the feeling of getting back into an unmade bed - it feels like a completely unproductive day and that just throws me off

what's your favourite number?

I don't really have a favourite but I love multiples of 7, they make my brain go brrr

what is your job?

Photography! It's something I always wanted to do as a child but gave up on as an unrealistic dream before eventually sort of stumbling into it. Happy accidents and all that.

if you could go back to school, would you?

Hah! No chance. I burnt myself out pretty badly through undergrad by taking on far too much - there were just so many things that I found interesting - and I'd much rather not repeat that experience.

can you parallel park?

I can't drive. I keep meaning to learn but the way people drive freaks me out a little too much. I've also been struggling with a bout of motion sickness recently and that doesn't help my comfort in cars. Someday though! Hopefully!

a job you had that would surprise people?

I worked on editing and post production on a documentary for National Geographic once

do you think aliens are real?

In what form, I'm not sure. But some forms of life that exist outside of our planet? Absolutely. My other answer, channeling the 12 years I've spent on this hellsite: doooweeeewoooooo

can you drive a manual car?

If/when I do finally learn to drive I'm going to make it a point to learn manual too. Idk, feels like an important skill to have

what's your guilty pleasure?

I make it a point not too feel guilty or embarrassed about my interests. If I started doing that far too many things I like would qualify and I just cannot live like that

tattoos?

I wish :( I have a bunch of small tattoos I've always wanted but I have a medical condition because of which I can't get any.

favourite colour?

It changes every so often but I'm particularly biased towards shades of teal right now.

favourite type of music?

I love rock of the general/alt/post/punk variety. Recently I've been listening to a goth-folk band called Charming Disaster and have been a little bit obsessed with their album Our Lady of Radium and especially Radium Girls

do you like puzzles?

Love love love puzzles of any kind. I just like having lil things for my brain to do.

any phobias?

I have a little bit of a phobia of falling off of high places which unfortunately comes from a close call during a hike where I slipped off a steep rock and almost into a sweeping rapids (luckily I ended up slipping sideways into a little pool in a gap between said rock and another big one... took a while to pull my short ass out of there but at least I wasn't being swept away!)

favourite childhood sport?

I was a sporty child, tried my hand at just about most sports. My go to was basketball for a while (though I don't play anymore) but now I'm more inclined to go for a swim or a bout of kickboxing, sometimes badminton. Funny story: over the course of a year I got hit in the nose with 4 different kinds of balls (not that kind!). My nose is fine but I was paranoid around sports grounds for a while after that 😂

do you talk to yourself?

All the time! It honestly helps me keep track of a lot of things, especially when I'm overwhelmed but it's a little funny when my everyday running commentary comes out in front of people. It gets me a lot of strange looks, especially when I ask everyday objects what they think they're doing

what movies do you adore?

Depends on the day you ask. I tried answering this 5 different times but each time I came up with 5 different movies to list out. I really could not pick for this one

coffee or tea?

Coffee! Far, far too much of it!

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

An astronaut. It took me far too long to give up on that pipe dream. But around the time I gave up on that I was getting interested in photography as something to pursue. I was bullied out of it for a few years sadly but hey, I ended up here eventually!

I'm coming to this way too late so I'm not really sure who hasn't done this yet. I'm just going to tag @casualavocados @celestial-sapphicss @jemmo

And like both Tel and Lin mentioned, I've been far too busy to be on tumblr too much recently (most of 2024) and so a lot of stuff I've been tagged in has slipped through the cracks. Most of it is in my drafts somewhere and sometimes it just feels too late to bring it back. I still love all of you though and I'm sorry!

#ask games #i'm late but i'm here!!

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novalizinpeace · 1 month

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With how bad it sounds- I'm surprised your not using your skin as paper at this point-

I wish you well and being better soon! I know what it feel like not to be able to be creative and it SUCKS. I wish your swift recovery!

Probably 'cause my anxious reaction is not specific related to not been able to be creative, but more of the fact that i don't like to be unproductive.

i want to draw the commissions i need to deliver, i want to write more for my aus, i want to keep working on the rb thing for the other blog... be productive help my anxiety, that why you can see me make a lot of drawings and post so quickly sometimes, 'cause what do i do when 'm stressed or anxious? I work on my projects, i work on something, i made some house chores, anything that keep me moving and feeling like something was done, that relax me, keep my mind healthy in a place where that's hard.

Now, been in a situation were i can't do none of it, and just lie in bed with a borrowed phone (so i can't work on my project on it, but thanks my bro for at least consider my mental health and let me use it to see youtube on it) it stressful, i hate been on bed for so long, it make me feel depressed.

this is more of a vent that anything, but yeah, more that going insane over here, and just mentally frustrated of the whole deal, i know i need to rest to prevent any long term pain in my body, and i know this shit is going to go fast if i wait (i already passed the fever stage, i just need to finish the treatment so the pain can completly go away, i don't give it past tuesday), it just the stress talking here (or like my friend call it, the bad vibes brainworms).

#tw vent #i guess?#ask #nova is tired

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lets-talk-spirituality · 1 year

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Let’s talk about: Collective Lessons

This was recommended by a lovely anon and I immediately felt called to write on this topic. With the New Year approaching, I want to reflect on the collective lessons I see that many of us are tackling personally, but also on a wider scale.

Productivity Wound

During the pandemic, a lot of us were confronted with the reality that we prioritize our careers and our productivity over other areas in our life that might fulfill us more, such as time with family, time for new hobbies, and time for rest. In fact, may of us are working on addressing this core wound around the need to be productive all the time. This wound ties to workaholism and usually masks a deeper fear of not mattering, being memorable, or having inherent value. Many of us in the western world are raised believing our value is tied to what we accomplish and produce, versus the value being in the act of doing in and of itself and the self growth that produces. This can lead to looking for external validation, which makes us perfectly primed to go above and beyond at our workplaces as we seek to be told we are good enough through the work we do. This leads us to work harder, to do more, to compromise our own lives for the chance to be good enough and to prove our value. This can lead to burn out, depression, exhaustion and a lack of motivation.

How to combat this wound: practice active rest. Actively allow yourself to do nothing, to sit in meditation, to sit outside, to be unproductive and to stand up for yourself when that rude ass ingrained voice tells you you aren’t worth anything and you should be doing more. You can say, “I’m choosing to actively rest and restore my energy reserves for the upcoming week. Thank you for showing me I still need to heal areas of my self worth.”

Lovability Wound

This one is my deepest wound and it’s a doozy! Many of us struggle with this wound, especially those of us with intense childhood trauma. I still struggle with the mindset of if my own parents couldn’t really love me, why would a stranger? But I also see this playing out on a collective level which is why we’ve seen a rise in the conversations around self love, body positivity, and self care. All of these ideas center around accepting and loving yourself as you are not as the you you wish you were. Sadly, capitalism through advertising sells us the idea that we aren’t good enough as we are and many of us internalize this as a fear that we will never be loved or cannot be due to our horrible flaws (which are usually super average and effect tons of people, but is made to seem like something that needs to be corrected so you will buy a product.) I think this is playing out a lot in Hollywood and the beauty and fashion industries where many are opening up more about things they were/are ashamed of and how that has effected their self esteem.

How to combat this wound: I’m still working on this wound, but from my current stand point, I think healing lovability wounding comes down to figuring out what it means to love yourself and to find ways to do that that make you feel good, whether that’s through eating, exercising, a beauty routine, etc. I’d say just be aware of detangling it as much as possible from doing these things so you will be deserving of love and more from the energy of doing these things because you love yourself. You can say, for example, “I love myself so I’m choosing to feed myself the best food for my body so I can have more energy”

Perfectionism wound

Another big wound I see the collective addressing is perfectionism. I see this playing out a lot through celebrities discussing mental health, eating disorders, and other pressures they’ve faced. I see it a lot in the body positivity movement and other movements that are aiming to normalize things that affect many people, but we still see as something to fix such as stretch marks, acne, hair loss, cellulite, vitiligo, etc. I think more and more of us understand that these “flaws” aren’t flaws at all but pieces of our story, pieces of us that make us who we are and there is a certain pride that we should hold for that. A lot of this wound stems back to being told we aren’t good enough and we should buy this product to fix it, but unlovability also is tied to perfectionism because we think if we can just be X enough, then we’ll finally be loved or accepted or valued. The key is accepting yourself as you are now, living in the present, since that’s all you can control.

How to combat this wound: allow people to see your “imperfections.” Don’t cover your spots, wear a bathing suit that shows your body, talk more openly about your struggles, if it feels scary or uncomfortable to do, try to push yourself to do it. I’m still working on this one. I have a lot of body image healing to do and while I don’t wear makeup, I do struggle to wear clothes that I feel expose parts of my body that I don’t like. Try saying to yourself, “You are perfect just as you are and you don’t need to hide your light anymore. It is safe to show things you don’t like about yourself with others. It’s is brave to not be perfect.”

Boundaries Wound

This wound is all over the place and effects so many areas in life. I see it coming up a lot with regards to work culture where it seems more people are putting their foot down and saying they aren’t going to jump through any hoops their bosses say jump through. A lot of people are prioritizing their mental health, family and time off, over work. This is called setting a boundary. Boundaries are needed is all sorts of areas, including relationships. Boundaries can look like saying no, I’m not available to talk right now, or no, I can’t stay late today. In general it’s saying no to things you don’t feel comfortable with. This wound is surprise surprise tied to unlovability as well, since the thought would be, if I make this person happy then they will validate me as a good worker, a good friend, etc. It all comes down to do you feel valuable inherently. A lot of us compromise our boundaries in exchange for trying to get our need for approval met.

How to combat this wound: start questioning yourself before you say yes to something, ask yourself if you are compromising in a way that doesn’t benefit you long term. Ask yourself why you want to say yes. Is it a genuinely exciting opportunity or do you feel internal pressure to say yes so you can be the good person. Enforce boundaries. I do this with calendaring. I will say No, I can’t do this because that is when I have my workout class, or no, that is when I have a meeting. Practice saying no. This helps you take your power back. You can say, “I’m just as valuable as anyone else and I’m going to prioritize my needs first, then share my energy with others. I will fill my cup first.”

Public vs Privacy Wound

With the advent of social media, many of us found ourselves thrown into the crosshairs generally saved for the elite. We’ve been, as a society, grappling for years with what to share publicly and what to keep private.

How to combat this wound: social media should be a fun way to connect with the world. Before you post, ask why you are posting, what you are looking to have fulfilled. Practice not so actively curating yourself. I’ve started to let myself post on stories more instead of being like no, I don’t need to share this, I will let myself if I want to. It’s about determining your own boundaries for what you feel comfortable sharing and sticking to your guns. If you post too much, consider a social media detox. You can say, “It’s okay to keep things to myself, because keeping things to myself keeps negative energy away from the things I’m working to manifest. It’s okay to share this post just because I want to. It doesn’t have to have a deeper meaning.”

Gender Wound

This is probably one of the biggest collective lessons we are seeing play out. For a long time, gender norms have been used as a way to control and shame people and to keep them in little tiny approvable boxes. To force them to be what society says is right. Now more than ever, we have taken back our power to say, I don’t care about society, I have to do what is right by my soul.

How to combat this wound: think about how you perform gender and what that means to you. It doesn’t have to be as drastic as shifting pronouns but it can be! It could also be simply recognizing, for example, that as a woman you have been taught to be less assertive and instead you now focus on asserting yourself. Maybe as a man, you were conditioned to not express emotions, especially with other men, but you decide to start being more open with your friends. You can say, “Just because I was taught this is how people like me are supposed to act doesn’t mean that belief is serving me anymore. I let it go with love and light.”

Religion Wound

Another human created construct that has been used to control the masses is religion. A lot of us have been directly harmed by the religion we were raised in. Personally, I was raised as a Christian and was indoctrinated with shame, so much shame through the concept of sin, being inherently flawed for merely existing, and that I’m meant to let a man lead. I’ve rebuked those concepts and do not subscribe to Christianity anymore, and most of the people I know who are still religious like the community of it and have had to redefine that religion for themselves in order to still engage with it.

How to combat this wound: Examine what beliefs and ideas were instilled in you around religion and spirituality, examine whether these are still things you believe. Begin to shift your perspective around these concepts. You can say, “I appreciate all that this religion has shown me about myself but I no longer need to subscribe to a system that oppresses me.”

Abundance Wound

Many of us have been indoctrinated with the idea that we are limited. And honestly, in this economy, we are limited. As a collective we are still subscribing to a lack of abundance. Abundance isn’t just financial, but also the idea that there isn’t enough love to go around, enough money, enough time, enough success, etc. It gives you a reason to be productive and work your job if you inherently believe you don’t have enough money, and for many, you don’t because many of us aren’t paid enough to truly be able to survive. If you’re told there isn’t enough for everyone it creates competition which creates a dynamic that forces people to abandon their boundaries to stay ahead. This is part of why I think a class warfare is brewing.

How to combat this wound: challenge the thought that there isn’t enough to go around, when you can, share with others, like I always tip well to spread abundance with others and to indicate to the universe I believe in abundance for myself. Look at your wounding around money and see how you can heal those ideas. You can say, “There is no competition, since my life is unique, I am unique, and there is no comparison. There is enough love and joy and abundance to go around and I release any beliefs to the contrary.”

Authenticity Wound

Another major wound that ties into perfectionism, boundaries and lovability. Many of us compromise who we truly are in pursuit for social acceptance. Our brains are still hardwired to want to fit in with the group because in years past, isolation from the group meant certain death. These days, being alone doesn’t really mean you will die, but studies show that loneliness can have a negative impact on life expectancy. The problem is many of us can’t form true connection because we are not being our authentic self. That’s how we are more connected than every but we also feel more alone than every before. Your tribe can’t find you when you’re acting like someone else. Many of us don’t even know who we are authentically because we’ve been acting like someone else for so long, since this indoctrination begins in childhood. Being your unabashed self is the most rebellious choice you can make in the face of a society that values conformity.

How to combat this wound: think about ways you can be more authentic and where you are hiding yourself to make others feel more comfortable, where you are compromising your true expression and evaluate ways you can better live in your own truth. You can say, “I love myself enough to show people who I truly am. Those who are meant to be in my life will accept me and those who aren’t will easily fall away.”

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Now I just want to say, I know that many in this world can’t even focus on these wounds because they are literally surviving day in and day out and I don’t want to act like I’m not aware of this because I am. It’s hard to care if you’re lovable when you are trying to figure out how to pay your bills and get out of debt or get food. I was living in this energy for a long time. A lot of us in the west have most of our basic needs met and it allows to focus on the next level up. I believe that those of us who have the privilege to focus on more collective issues in these ways have the power to lift others up with us, to get more people out of survival mode and that is our responsibility to ourselves and others to work on these issues to bring the collective consciousness forward. That’s part of why people with more collective missions have so many of their needs met by life.

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traumascumathena · 8 months

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Hi anon.

We received your ask about survivor’s network. We will not be posting it or answering publicly, not only for your safety, not only for our safety, but the safety of everyone in syscourse. I do not wish to further anything. I do not wish to add to the flames. I do not wish to involve myself, as I’ve had a stressful week and the other mods do not know what happens in that server for the most part. Please respect this.

I will say this, as a word of advice to everyone who chooses to involve themselves. Publicizing this drama with this level of detail and name-calling is unproductive. No one will feel better if the accused self-flagellate and the accusers wallow in the grief and anger and the syscoursers watching on exaggerate details and regurgitate the topic for weeks on end. People are hurt, and they will continue to be hurt if no solutions are reached, and the dramatic nature of internet discourse will not enable solutions. I highly suggest handling this privately because of that.

Because, ultimately, I do not want anyone to be hurt and keep being hurt. I don’t say this because I want people to be silent about problems they have faced in the community. I don’t say this because I think anyone is annoying or evil. This is purely about safety and being productive with anger and frustration.

In the past, on an older blog I don’t allow myself to name, I called out a popular user for exploiting a specific traumatic incident I experienced. And while I still know I was right, while I had all the evidence in the world, while I had the support of my friends and strangers, it still hurt. I did not pursue solutions and let myself wallow in the subsequent discourse and fighting, which only worsened my mental state from the initial issue, and I wound up hospitalized because of it all and quit social media for a long time. And while I don’t blame myself--I was a child still in an abusive household--I do recognize that it was a harmful decision and that I should have acted differently. Hindsight is 20/20. At least, it gave me the experience to know that next time I find myself in such a situation, I should pursue a solution to my own hurt privately, because publicizing it will only hurt me.

I pass that experience onto you all now. Don’t do what I did. Don’t solve your own hurt with public discourse. Speak privately. Solve this problem privately. Don’t allow people to spread your hurting across the internet and exploit it.

That is all. I will say nothing further. Enjoy the rest of your day.

#Cykes Says #syscourse

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labrats-and-clonetroopers · 1 year

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"Shades of Yellow" Part 1 - Ezra Bridger x Reader, Star Wars: Rebels

Masterlist

Star Wars Masterlist

Request Guidelines

Relationship: Platonic

Requested by: Anon (Hello! I’m not sure if you’re taking requests right now (star wars in particular), but if you are, could i request a Rebels ezra x platonic reader? With #5 and #12 from prompt list 1. The reader is around Ezra’s age and is a former assassin; they’re on a mission and just overall chaos and fluff? Thank you, have a good day!)

(5) “I thought an assassin would look more intimidating.”

(12) “If I have to endure your presence for another five minutes I swear I’ll commit murder.”

A/N: I decided to split this up into multiple parts because the story ended up being a bit more complex than I intended, and I don't want to rush through it.

___________________

Penance. You’ve reminded her a dozen times that’s what this is.

Sabine isn’t talking about it that way. She’s much more optimistic than she used to be, rambling on about the cause, about hope and freedom…

You wish she would just shut up, but you don’t say anything. She’s doing you an incredible favor by granting you this sanctuary, and showing ingratitude would be imprudent.

“So, when are these two jedi of yours going to show up?”

Sabine shrugs. “Don’t know. Force kark doesn’t tend to stick to a schedule.”

“Lovely,” you sigh. “What exactly is our backup plan if they don’t return in time?”

“We’ll improvise,” the Mandalorian replies brightly. You raise an eyebrow and she punches you lightly in the arm. “Relax, We’ve still got Hera, Zeb, and Rex. More than enough to handle this simple extraction mission.”

“These days nothing is ever simple with the Empire.” You remind her.

Going on this mission without the jedi would be unproductive. Well, far less productive. You wouldn’t have gotten this far without being able to find the advantage in any circumstance.

“Still ever the cynic,” Sabine teases.

“Cynicism survives, adapts, and gets the kriffing job done.”

You can tell she’s smiling under that helmet. “Well, you’re a rebel now, and rebellions are built on hope.”

You sigh in response.

And you’re not looking up at the sky, not yet, waiting until the roar of engines becomes audible and you watch Sabine turn her head. “Looks like we won’t need to improvise yet. There’s our jedi.”

You purse your lips in skepticism, crossing your arms as The Phantom descends onto the platform. The ramp lowers, and two figures emerge, one tall and lean, the other short and lanky.

“You returned the ship in one piece,” Sabine remarks lightly.

“Good to see you too, Sabine,” is the older jedi’s greeting, in a manner that almost seems parental. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Y/N, the contact I told you guys about. They used to help Ketsu and I on jobs. One of the best assassins in the Outer Rim.” She then turns to you. “Y/N, this is Kanan and Ezra.”

You only incline your head in greeting.

Ezra frowns. “This is Y/N? I thought an assassin would look more intimidating.”

An irritated smile spreads across your face. “And I thought someone Sabine holds in such high respect would have more tact.”

Ezra’s frown deepens, but in confusion rather than hurt. “What the kriff does ‘tact’ mean?”

You stare, then roll your eyes. “A true jedi education,” you say sarcastically.

This is going to be a far more unpleasant mission than you originally anticipated.

#ezra bridger #star wars rebels #star wars #star wars fanfiction #reader insert #ezra bridger x reader #platonic reader insert #platonic reader x ezra bridger #reader with a complicated past #former assassin reader #i apologize for how long it took me to post this

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alwritey-aphrodite · 2 years

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#18 on the fall prompts with Poe please?

2022 Fall Blurbs

On base, you had little time to yourself. If you weren’t working, you were helping someone else with their job or volunteering to do some cleaning or spending time with your friends. Life was beyond fast paced, and you were always moving.

But, sometimes, certain unpreventable circumstances would cause the base to slow down, seemingly shut off.

That’s why thunderstorms were your favorite time: everything on base seemed to shut down. Drills couldn’t run in the rain, inessential missions were postponed, and cleaning was saved for another day.

Whenever a thunderstorm passed through, you’d spend the day in your room, finally relaxing and taking some time for yourself. You’d sleep in, have a late but filling breakfast, and spend the whole day in the most comfortable Resistance-issue clothes. You get to spend the whole day lazing around without feeling the crushing pressure of being unproductive.

When the whole world slows down, it’s easier for you to take a break, to let yourself breathe for a while without feeling guilty.

Plus, you always get to spend more time with Poe. Normally, if Poe’s not away on a mission, he’s running around doing his other commander duties or working on Black One. But, when a thunderstorm hits, he has to slow down too, giving you both a perfect excuse to spend the day together.

You spend your morning cuddled as close together as possible, practically entangled with each other. The night before, you could practically sense a storm, and even though Poe had laughed at you, he helped you pile all the blankets you could find onto your small bed, creating the perfect cozy environment.

And, sure enough, when you wake up, it’s to a dark, cloudy sky and rain pelting against the window.

You withhold your ‘I told you so’, instead choosing to simply cuddle even closer to Poe and fall back asleep. When you wake up again, Poe’s already awake, looking at you with a sleepy little smile on his face and the rain still beating steadily against the building.

After a late breakfast that’s more like lunch, you and Poe return to your home, ready to crawl back under the covers. You push away the small feeling a guilt brewing in your stomach at what seems like wasting a day, and instead focus on Poe and how soft and warm and amazing he is.

You know he can get restless, that he needs to move around and feel needed and productive, so he rarely spends time where he isn’t working on something, repairs or a report or training new recruits. Every moment you and Poe spend together, not really doing anything is a gift and you intend to cherish it.

The rain continues to plunk down, hammering against the window and creating the perfect white noise. Poe wraps you in his arms, and you entwin your legs with his, making sure you’re as close as humanly possible.

Within minutes, Poe’s asleep, breath rising steadily and you can’t help but stare for a few moments, taking in the line of his jaw and the length of his lashes, looking more beautiful than anything you’ve ever seen. You almost wish you could stay awake and just watch him sleep, take in all of his beauty, but sleep eventually takes you.

You spend the day warm and comfortable, cuddled together and feeling more relaxed than ever, continually lulled back to sleep by the pattering of the rain.

#poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x you #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron fanfic #2022 fall blurbs

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