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5ummit · 4 months

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AO3 Ship Stats: Year In Bad Data

You may have seen this AO3 Year In Review.

It hasn’t crossed my tumblr dash but it sure is circulating on twitter with 3.5M views, 10K likes, 17K retweets and counting. Normally this would be great! I love data and charts and comparisons!

Except this data is GARBAGE and belongs in the TRASH.

I first noticed something fishy when I realized that Steve/Bucky – the 5th largest ship on AO3 by total fic count – wasn’t on this Top 100 list anywhere. I know Marvel’s popularity has fallen in recent years, but not that much. Especially considering some of the other ships that made it on the list. You mean to tell me a femslash HP ship (Mary MacDonald/Lily Potter) in which one half of the pairing was so minor I had to look up her name because she was only mentioned once in a single flashback scene beat fandom juggernaut Stucky? I call bullshit.

Now obviously jumping to conclusions based on gut instinct alone is horrible practice... but it is a good place to start. So let’s look at the actual numbers and discover why this entire dataset sits on a throne of lies.

Here are the results of filtering the Steve/Bucky tag for all works created between Jan 1, 2023 and Dec 31, 2023:

Not only would that place Steve/Bucky at #23 on this list, if the other counts are correct (hint: they're not), it’s also well above the 1520-new-work cutoff of the #100 spot. So how the fuck is it not on the list? Let’s check out the author’s FAQ to see if there’s some important factor we’re missing.

The first thing you’ll probably notice in the FAQ is that the data is being scraped from publicly available works. That means anything privated and only accessible to logged-in users isn’t counted. This is Sin #1. Already the data is inaccurate because we’re not actually counting all of the published fics, but the bots needed to do data collection on this scale can't easily scrape privated fics so I kinda get it. We’ll roll with this for now and see if it at least makes the numbers make more sense:

Nope. Logging out only reduced the total by a couple hundred. Even if one were to choose the most restrictive possible definition of "new works" and filter out all crossovers and incomplete fics, Steve/Bucky would still have a yearly total of 2,305. Yet the list claims their total is somewhere below 1,500? What the fuck is going on here?

Let’s look at another ship for comparison. This time one that’s very recent and popular enough to make it on the list so we have an actual reference value for comparison: Nick/Charlie (Heartstopper). According to the list, this ship sits at #34 this year with a total of 2630 new works. But what’s AO3 say?

Off by a hundred or so but the values are much closer at least!

If we dig further into the FAQ though we discover Sin #2 (and the most egregious): the counting method. The yearly fic counts are NOT determined by filtering for a certain time period, they’re determined by simply taking a snapshot of the total number of fics in a ship tag at the end of the year and subtracting the previous end-of-year total. For example, if you check a ship tag on Jan 1, 2023 and it has 10,000 fics and check it again on Jan 1, 2024 and it now has 12,000 fics, the difference (2,000) would be the number of "new works" on this chart.

At first glance this subtraction method might seem like a perfectly valid way to count fics, and it’s certainly the easiest way, but it can and did have major consequences to the point of making the entire dataset functionally meaningless. Why? If any older works are deleted or privated, every single one of those will be subtracted from the current year fic count. And to make the problem even worse, beginning at the end of last year there was a big scare about AI scraping fics from AO3, which caused hundreds, if not thousands, of users to lock down their fics or delete them.

The magnitude of this fuck up may not be immediately obvious so let’s look at an example to see how this works in practice.

Say we have two ships. Ship A is more than a decade old with a large fanbase. Ship B is only a couple years old but gaining traction. On Jan 1, 2023, Ship A had a catalog of 50,000 fics and ship B had 5,000. Both ships have 3,000 new works published in 2023. However, 4% of the older works in each fandom were either privated or deleted during that same time (this percentage is was just chosen to make the math easy but it’s close to reality).

Ship A: 50,000 x 4% = 2,000 removed works Ship B: 5,000 x 4% = 200 removed works

Ship A: 3,000 - 2,000 = 1,000 "new" works Ship B: 3,000 - 200 = 2,800 "new" works

This gives Ship A a net gain of 1,000 and Ship B a net gain of 2,800 despite both fandoms producing the exact same number of new works that year. And neither one of these reported counts are the actual new works count (3,000). THIS explains the drastic difference in ranking between a ship like Steve/Bucky and Nick/Charlie.

How is this a useful measure of anything? You can't draw any conclusions about the current size and popularity of a fandom based on this data.

With this system, not only is the reported "new works" count incorrect, the older, larger fandom will always be punished and it’s count disproportionately reduced simply for the sin of being an older, larger fandom. This example doesn’t even take into account that people are going to be way more likely to delete an old fic they're no longer proud of in a fandom they no longer care about than a fic that was just written, so the deletion percentage for the older fandom should theoretically be even larger in comparison.

And if that wasn't bad enough, the author of this "study" KNEW the data was tainted and chose to present it as meaningful anyway. You will only find this if you click through to the FAQ and read about the author’s methodology, something 99.99% of people will NOT do (and even those who do may not understand the true significance of this problem):

The author may try to argue their post states that the tags "which had the greatest gain in total public fanworks” are shown on the chart, which makes it not a lie, but a error on the viewer’s part in not interpreting their data correctly. This is bullshit. Their chart CLEARLY titles the fic count column “New Works” which it explicitly is NOT, by their own admission! It should be titled “Net Gain in Works” or something similar.

Even if it were correctly titled though, the general public would not understand the difference, would interpret the numbers as new works anyway (because net gain is functionally meaningless as we've just discovered), and would base conclusions on their incorrect assumptions. There’s no getting around that… other than doing the counts correctly in the first place. This would be a much larger task but I strongly believe you shouldn’t take on a project like this if you can’t do it right.

To sum up, just because someone put a lot of work into gathering data and making a nice color-coded chart, doesn’t mean the data is GOOD or VALUABLE.

#ao3 #ao3 stats #psa #my words #fandom #I doubt anyone is even going to read this but I needed to get it out of my system and at least try to stop this from spreading #if you know me #you know I get Big Mad about misinformation #don't take anything at face value #do your own research

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lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 1 year

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Yandere Twisted Wonderland x FemReader | Maid Milker

“No. No way! I’m not selling myself just so you can get more thirsty perverts bothering me!”

Since it had recently been discovered that you were the only female in a college meant for boys you could hardly breathe without someone openly creeping on you. First it was just students staring longingly, before it started becoming confessions, and then open stalking. There was even an official fan club that made a point to broadcast every single part of your life private or not. There was no filter. So of course when one of the few people who you had an established friendship (kinda) asked you to exploit just that.

“Awwww, shrimpy! Don’t you wanna work with me? We’d have so much fun!”

He leaned his head on yours letting more of his weight weigh on you as you struggled to keep up right.

“I’d love to but not in a maid dress! Do you know how bad those things can be for girls like me?”

“What could possibly be stopping you other than the overwhelming support of your club?” Jade interjected slyly picking at the fact that you had a literal fan base that would praise you for simply walking.

“Not. My. Club. And panty shots.”

“Easy fix. We can invest in some shorts.” Azul, confident he pushed his glasses up and shrugged; you grimaced.

“I’d have to shave.”

“Stockings.”

“Those get hair?” Floyd directed at his brother who tilted his head. “Apparently.”

“Ugh harassment.”

“Do you even have to ask? Jade and Floyd.”

“Ugh. What about...my dignity!” You hated that this was you picking at straws here.

“The whole lounge will be on the same rules as you and what's wrong with a student earning some much needed cash. If people think it’s so funny you’re working so hard it’d behoove them to help out of pity.”

“Hmmm...” you brought your index and thumb to your chin in hopes that it could come up with some other reason why this wouldn’t work. Finding that you couldn’t find one you saw no problem agreeing as long as you cleared some things up.

“I get paid and I keep all my tips?”

“Yes.”

“Anyone I ask to be removed for behavior will be removed?”

“Of course.”

“...and I get to keep the costume.”

“...”

“That wasn’t a question.”

“Well...”

“Azul!”

“Okay okay. It’s yours.”

“Thank you, well then I’ll gladly be in your service.”

______________________________________________________________

"I'm surprised you let that go, Azul." The eel-mer spoke without looking up from the modal he was counting, sporting his typical smile.

"Patience, Jade. We don't need golden eggs when we have the goose." Azul reassured writing in his ledger with a confident tone.

"What goose?" Floyd was leaned over the couch behind Azul.

"Its a land expression, you should have covered that in literature already."

"We did but someone wasn't in the mood to listen for the whole of it."

"He~he."

The octo-mer didn't look up from what he was writing but he did stop to speak seriously to the eel.

"If we want this plan to work though you'll need to be in the mood to listen...can you do that at least."

"He~he I'm always in the mood when Shrimpy's involved!"

______________________________________________________________

“Haha, I can’t belie-haha-you agreed to this!”

Ace was having a field-day, as you expected but you had thrown out your embarrassment and were going to proudly wear your themed maid outfit in purple and black.

“Shut up Ace! Before I spit in your drink!”

You whispered the last bit as Jade strongly asked that you refrain from giving any fluid of yours without having paid for the service specifically. Feeling satisfied as Ace held his hands up in submission you looked at Deuce who looked at a loss for words, opening and closing his mouth as he looked at your outfit.

“Got something to say, Deuce?”

You mockingly taunted him in case he thought about hopping on the bully-(Y/n) bandwagon. He continued to flutter before he finally gathered himself looking down then up at you.

“I-uh, like your stockings.” He gulped, diverting his attention for awhile before returning to its latest focus. You immediately perked, balancing the trey to let your hand slide past the fluff of your dress to pull at the fabric.

“Like it? I was originally going to go with tights that went up all the way-“ you let go causing the strap to slap against the plush of your thigh, adding emphasis to your statement. “But I decided these jock-straps were too cute to pass up.”

You dismiss yourself walking back to the kitchen as Deuce blushes full force as he replays the whole interaction in his mind. Not just your words but the prideful look in your eye as you snapped the strap against your thigh, leaving the Heartslabyul student reeling with his imagination. Just across from him, Ace too was replaying the view of you walking away. It was just too easy.

“Hate to watch you go but love to watch you leave.”

He had to come here every night.

“Oh, here’s your underwater mocha and your sweet oyster tart.”

Riddle couldn’t help looking, it was what everyone was here to do anyway. But that was why he came: to make sure everyone was doing just that. So why was it so much worse for him when that was all he could do.

“A-and you're sure this is consensual?”

“Yeah, no worries. Besides, the modal I’m getting for this will have me and Grim eating happily for days!”

“If foods what your worried about, I’d gladly put some on your plate.”

The baker spoke smoothly talking in that calming voice everyone relaxed at totally masking the true intention.

“I appreciate that Trey but with your sweets I’d definitely pack on a few and I don’t need that.” You joked, oblivious to the green and orange eyes flickering to your stomach and thighs before flashing such charming smiles.

“Well, I wouldn’t mind that at all (Y/n).”

“I agree, (Y/n). You’d look stunning, even if you racked on a hundred more.”

“Aw gee thanks guys!”

You couldn’t deny you felt an intensity when they spoke your name but you couldn’t focus on whatever heat they might have spurred especially when you were being called to serve your next order.

“Oh sorry guys, I have to go now. Enjoy your drinks and treats.”

You scurried off only for Riddle to make an interesting discovery. “For only 2,000 madol you can have your waiter hand feed you? I-it’s better that we check and make sure this er-practice is healthy or not, yes?”

“I wholeheartedly agree.” “Count me in, boss.”

“You have some nerve accepting business from the fish.” Leona spoke in his gruff voice immediately having you reel back to his table. In the booth he sat on the cushion by himself with the other being shared by Jack and Ruggie. You nervously laughed as you waited for Ruggie to finally speak after eying you up and down.

“And how much would you be willing to do this for?”

You laughed at him, thinking he was joking when his sky blues were staring unwavering right back at you. Recovering you thought for a moment.

“I guess it would be a lot, not including whatever liberties I’ll even allow. But it’s not like anyone would pay for me to actually do something like this.”

You nervously chuckled only for the knowing smirks spread on Leona and Ruggie's face as you once again realized this was no joke. With a cough from the forgotten guest you looked at Jack who seemed to fidget as he blushed.

“While I don’t think you're anywhere near the level being a maid, you still look...very pretty.”

“Aww thank you Jack!” You struck a pose with a heart before walking off to attend your duties leaving Ruggie to relentlessly be smacked by the wagging of Jack’s tail not seeming to mind as he dazed off to watch you work.

“Oh manifique mademoiselle trickster you’ve rendered me a slave to your beauty and I’m floored to witness you in such a state!” As dramatic and as loud as Rook could be he never failed to make you blush at his compliments as you tried to take the tables order down.

Vil looked off to the side, eying an occupied twin at the bar before turning to look up at you. Smoothly he twirled his fingers around the lace of your maid dress lightly brushing against the now exposed skin of your thigh.

“I didn’t realize you liked to play dress-up (Y/n)...” you blubbered trying to find another topic as his light playing turned into suggestive pulling before you bashfully pushed down your dress.

“Next time you do we’ll have a private fashion show (Y/n), that way you can really learn how to play your role...properly.”

Regrettably Epel never properly spoke to you; he was too interested in the way the apron and dress hugged your body. Making certain to burn it into his memory for an apple carving later for at least he’d be allowed to lick that version of you.

“(Y/n)!!”

Shouting as if he hadn’t just sat with you in science class, he launches himself at you immediately causing you to spill a drink you were carrying for another table. Eventually breaking from his hug, thanks to Jamil he begins to apologize.

“Aw I’m so sorry (Y/n)! I’ll pay for it and I’ll take you to eat here.”

He seems so happy and with a smile like that you struggled with what to say, thankfully Jamil had that covered he pulled out a hanky he kept on hand.

“Can’t you see Kalim, she’s working right now. And you ruined her appearance.”

“I did? How? You look perfect to me.”

“Aww thanks Kalim.”

Distracted by his musings you almost missed how Jamil kneeled down to rub at the sugary residue on your thighs. Gulping down a blush he tried his best to clean, even though it made no progress at all and he knew that.

“Heheeh Jamil that tickles! I appreciate the help but no worries. In fact I’ll get you two seated right away.”

You guided the two to an empty booth completely unaware of the sorrowful face Kalim was pulling as Jamil pocketed the handkerchief. With a playful flick of his tongue Jamil hurried ahead as Kalim caught up.

Idia was hardly keeping it together seeing you run around taking orders from customers and running around with food on a tray had fueled the fantasy of the cliche maid cafe. He was practically already dying from the sheer amount of noise and extroverts that had gathered here but he most certainly was revived in some strange way to see you in your maid uniform. He refused to bring Ortho with him as this was his special mission on high difficulty and he didn't want Ortho tainted by your succubus charm, of course not because you might be discovered by yet another love rival. When you finally did run up to him a delicious sheen of sweat coated your arms and your forehead wonderfully accompanied but the sticky residue a drink must have made on your thighs-oh seven your thighs it sent him into another frenzy as he was barely able to recite his order.

“Oh, you want the ocean blue smoothie?”

He nodded.

“With the lip mark and a quarter drunk?”

He nodded again.

You looked at him for a bit before shrugging. ‘Everyone at some point must want to feel less lonely.’

So in front of him in the most secluded booth there was you bringing his drink and reapplied your matching lipstick before happily indulging in India’s drink. He didn’t realize you’d do it in front of him! But he wasn’t complaining, all the more grateful for his hidden body-cam as he watched your throat bob drinking his drink. He left happily holding the to-go cup that had your lip marks on it. He was going to...cherish the trophy for a successful mission.

Lilia traversed through enough of the internet to know about the anime-maid-obsession. He won’t lie, for awhile he too was intrigued before moving on but seeing you pad around in such a cute replica reignited it for him.

“It’s a shame you aren’t in-character that way you would have had to do what your master said!”

“Hehe, well than Master Lilia, here's your Pearl Gray iced tea.”

The joking you did with him made the old fae quite excited but he could handle himself until he got back to his dorm. Yes he could wait till he was in his lonesome. He could wait until then to imagine how helpless you’d be under him as he rearranged your guts on the dining table for mocking your master. So all he did was giggle and wink because he was grown. And that’s just what grown fae do. Wait until later to enact his desires.

Malleus didn’t understand why you were wearing such attire and he didn’t appreciate the way it made everyone ogle you like you were free for the taking. It upset him but anger was quelled when from his position he could smell you so clearly and the tightness of your uniform made it all the more appealing to watch. He was angry but when you happily flashed the cuff links he gifted you his anger subsided...kind of. If you were willing to show this much to the general populace than surely you’d have something far more intimate to show him. With that he indulged in his beverage excusing the involuntary flip of your skirt as moved to serve your guests.

Silver did see you in the maid outfit, if only briefly before getting comfortable enough to snooze again. But being awoken to a soft but forceful hold on your head does something. Grasping the crown of his head, nails barely grazing his scalp was a feeling he hadn’t expected to invoke such a reaction out of him. He did moan but thankfully it seemed normal enough that you didn’t question it when he sat upright.

“I’m glad I caught you, that would have been an awful waste of madol. Now Sebek, did you want anything?”

Oh he did want something, to chew you out over your wild attempts to flaunt yourself for all these men and for failing to properly woo his master. But that was before you reached past him to stop Silver from falling in his sleep into his drink. You successfully caught the human, completely oblivious to the half fae you inadvertently shoved your chest into. He’s probably suffocating but is he going to stop you while you right his fellow guard from falling? No! Especially not when you smell so good-and this--this is a part of his training! Yes! To be able to withstand the wiles of a human female for the sake of his master. Right! But it seems he’s failed this time as he won’t be able to properly utter a sentence until he’s forgotten the softness he nearly suffocated in.

“Uh-uhm-uh-er-“

“I’ll just get you some water, hun.”

______________________________________________________________

Finally draping yourself over the couches armrest you let out an exasperated sigh. On your feet all day, running around playing maid for everyone in the Monstro Lounge was beyond exhausting. You were glad it was the end. You walked into the office where Azul seemed to have finished organizing his contracts. Sitting in a nearby chair and on the floor respectively was Jade and Floyd. They smiled at you as your tiredness showed nodding at them before leaning playfully into Azul. Breath tickling his ear you asked.

“Now can I have my pay? My hour’s up.” You yawned, leaning your head onto his shoulder as his face bloomed a concerning shade of red.

“I-it’s l-late isn’t it? Don’t you want to stay the night.?”

You yawned again. “No why?”

Jade slid in behind you letting you lean back on him as he swayed you through the door and near a storage area.

“We can all see it, we've worked you dry, (Y/n). So take this time to sleep and I’ll take you back in the morning.”

Floyd appeared tossing a Monstro lounge t-shirt that was way too many sizes big for you. Looking at their sharp smiles you relented, excusing yourself to change before returning and happily passing out on whoever’s bed they guided you to.

In the meantime the three stood menacingly over your abandoned maid outfit. Jade pulled out a checklist and Azul got his wand ready.

“Now who is on the top priority list for a copy.”

“Not including us, Malleus Draconia, Idia Shroud, and oddly enough Neige Leblanche.”

“Alright then."

“Let’s get started then.”

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jiminjamms · 6 months

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sex therapy :: 22. little dark age

chapter tags/warnings: megumi is very mean but he's very uwu in the end. dad! toji. angsty! megumi. family drama. mentions of death. classism. strong language.

word count: 4.2k

notes: despite my long hours at work and the word count, I finished this update at a speed that impressed myself! likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated. xoxo

fic masterlist | 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33.

The next morning, you woke up alone in Toji’s bed.

Sunlight filtered into the room through the lace curtains, the brash beams softened into a gentle glow, a cinnamon and honeysuckle candle flickering in the corner.

While you could be disappointed that Toji’s warm presence was not beside you, this was your chance to stretch out on the mattress and rub at your eyes, feeling the crisp sheets against your skin.

With your mind growing more alert, memories from last night made their way back into your mind: how Toji touched you, kissed you, fucked you, made you feel so sexy. Only he could make you feel like he was the luckiest man alive. That you were the only girl in the world.

Like an idiot, you curled into a smiling and giggling ball, kicking your feet in a flustered bout.

Even with six months of marriage under your belt, it was actually…weird, to remember sex as something enjoyable and fun, rather than an obligatory action.

Sure, Toji might view last night as normal given his abundant sexual endeavors in the past. But this was totally a different thing for you. Naoya had never bothered with ‘unnecessary acts’ like aftercare, after all.

Hell, he could not even care to look at you most nights.

Several weeks back, you would have been racked with guilt.

However, you have recently discovered a renewed sense of self-worth, a belief in your own agency and right to pursue happiness outside your tattered marriage. This was the realization that, if Naoya Zenin could feel like he could do whatever he wanted, you could too.

You could do better.

Toji had said so himself.

Not to mention, with Toji, you were heard.

You were understood.

With him, you were special.

Keeping these thoughts in mind, you practically hopped toward the bathroom and washed up, then skipped down to the lower level to search for him. Looking for him didn’t take long when the kitchen bustled the sounds of cupboards being opened then closed, the clatter of metal forks against porcelain plates.

You rushed in that direction, unconsciously smiling at how thoughtful Toji was to be preparing breakfast. He must be anticipating you to be awake soon (and how surprised he would be to see that you had risen from your slumber already!).

So you can imagine how disappointed you were when you turned into the kitchen doorway, ready to implode from giddiness, and Toji was not the person you saw.

Rather, you found Toji’s son.

Megumi did not even notice you at first.

He leaned over the kitchen island, his upper body shifted onto the one forearm that rested casually on the counter’s surface, his free hand swiping at his phone. His gaze was locked onto the device which was why he had not sensed your presence, instead occupied with reading his friends’ texts and chuckling to himself as he scrolled through the messages.

Megumi looked like a completely different person now that he wasn’t clearly pissed off.

The contrast was like night and day.

His morning appearance was remarkably neat. With the abundant lighting, his tall and fair features became clear, with sparkling dark eyes that glimmered like the evening sky. He had taken off his rings and been wrapped snugly in a baggy brown pajama set.

For once, he looked…soft and sweet, and when he laughed heartily at his screen, everything in his smile was a reminder that this young man was nothing but a kid in the end.

Briefly, you did not want to believe that this was the same anguished teenager you had encountered last night. All over, you searched for one singular flaw. A loose strand. A crack in his lips. A budding, rosy pimple. But, with Megumi, there was nothing.

How could this possibly be the same person who accused you of being a demon, who lashed at his father for thinking with his dick rather than his head? As you wondered how your plain presence could turn such an innocent boy into someone filled with contempt, your heart filled with chagrin.

“Yuuji, this bumbling idiot,” he snickered quietly at a video from his friends. As he pressed replay, he brutally stabbed an apple slice with his fork and popped that bit into his mouth. “If your older brother hasn’t already, Nobara is definitely going to whoop your ass.”

Still chuckling, he shifted his weight, leaning from one arm to another, and that…was when he spotted you.

Quickly, his grin fell flat.

“Oh,” you heard him mumble.

Even a half-brained goldfish could tell Megumi was horribly disappointed to see you here. He straightened up a bit, chalking up the invisible and seemingly impenetrable wall that you recognized from last night.

Megumi didn’t want to smile. He didn’t want to be your friend. For all he cared, you only stopped by for a few hours in his life, and he had no obligation or expectations to ever see you again.

So, with that, the atmosphere became thick and awkward.

Horribly awkward.

“H-Hey,” you uttered, unsure of what else to say as the gloomy teenager turned around toward the refrigerator and effectively ignored your presence.

He did a terrific job in avoiding your gaze as he reached for an orange juice carton and a new glass, pouring himself a drink in silence once he returned to the kitchen island. Since you were older, you shouldn't feel humiliated by how you were being treated like a fly on the wall by an eighteen-year-old.

Yet, you were.

Megumi made you feel irrelevant and insignificant, as though all idiosyncrasies that made you feel helpless in your marriage came to haunt you through him.

He could hardly bother to glance in your direction even as he downed his drink, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he did. Then, once his glass sat empty, he treated himself to another cup.

All in silence.

When Megumi finally decided that, fine, he could not simply pretend you didn’t exist forever, he turned to face you and asked, “Why are you still here?”

The question caught you unprepared, leaving you frozen like a deer caught in the headlights.

Although Megumi didn’t roll his eyes on the spot (which probably demanded great self-control from himself), he leveled a piercing stare that bore right into yours. For a moment, his looks resembled his father’s greatly, but the intensity in his indigo eyes was nearly palpable, like a spear that grazed along your throat.

Instantly, your mouth dried at the scrutiny, his look disapproving and judgeful.

Perhaps you should head to the water cooler, hoping to rehydrate yourself and avoid his direct line of sight in the process. He left you unsettled with how he examined you with narrowed eyes, likely sending death wishes your way.

“I’m here because—”

You paused.

Here because your father and I fucked last night in the bathroom two doors down from you.

No. In times like these, honesty was not the best policy. Knowing this, you felt more exposed than ever in Megumi’s presence and tugged at your shirt collar to cover the dark marks on your neck, but the teenager had already seen them all.

“Unbelievable,” he scoffed, his eyelid twitching with irritation.

Megumi slammed his glass down in exasperation (which, to your amazement, did not shatter despite the force), and he stormed into the next room over.

His signs were clear that he would rather not spend another minute talking to you, but you persistently trailed behind him. There was still a lot to understand about him. At the very least, you would like to sort things out.

On the other hand, he wanted to avoid all that, escaping into the library. Even with your goal for conversation, you had to slow down in awe to admire the newly discovered space. A grand brick fireplace occupied the wall opposite the entrance, a magnificent woodblock painting hanging above the mantel as plush beanbag chairs encircled the hearth. Shelves crafted from dark cherry wood lined the rest of the vicinity's perimeter, showcasing not only an impressive literary collection but also antique figurines and framed family photos.

“Leave me alone,” Megumi deadpanned amidst your amazement. "My dad's busy on a call in his home office upstairs, but that doesn't mean you should be following me now."

He could never let up on you, could he?

“Well, no one ever said I was following you.”

“Yes, you totally are. Why else are you tailing me here?”

You shrugged. “Because this is a nice apartment, and I’m just exploring.”

“Well, I’m sure you live in a very nice place too, given who your husband is.”

A small part of you was still amazed at how publicized your life was given your ties to the Zenin Corporation’s CEO, but you had been growing accustomed to the attention in recent weeks.

“I like the aesthetics here, though. Drawing inspiration for my own place.”

“Whatever,” he grumbled in finality but did not miss how you stopped at one particular framed photo. Immediately, he rushed to your side, the proximity introducing you to his grapefruit fragrance that was accompanied by ambery cedar notes. Forcefully, he swung his sleeve in front of your face and hampered your view. “Nuh-uh! Don’t be nosy.”

“I’m not being nosy!” you protested. “That was your baby picture—”

“Yes, exactly. So, you are nosy,” said a Megumi trying to hide his embarrassment. “You’re a dreadfully nosy, horribly pushy, and appallingly insistent old snooper.”

“Old snooper?!”

Sure, you weren’t a high schooler anymore, but that didn’t mean you were old.

“Control yourself,” Megumi went on, ignoring how offended you have become. “You’re victimizing us all.”

While Megumi’s original mission was to slink away and enjoy his personal space, he now decided that he had to monitor your every movement instead, worried about what other awfully cute childhood photos you might come across if left alone. Knowing there was no use in arguing with a stubborn teenager, you took your gaze away from the photos and spotted a large maroon pennant plastered above the doorway.

“Oh, Harvard?” you asked,

“Yes, my dad completed his college degree there. Double major in economics in psychology,” he stated matter-of-factly, not that you were surprised. “That, and I’ll be starting school there this fall.”

“Oh, congratulations!" you praised (and questioned why Harvard would accept a cynic like him) before using this chance to make some meaningful conversation. "My husband also went to school in the United States as well. He could give advice about starting university in a foreign country. He went to—”

“Yes, Yale.”

Wow. Just how many hours did Megumi Fushiguro spend on Naoya Zenin's Wikipedia page? Obsessed much.

Creepy, even.

“Well, look who’s the snooper now,” you teased the boy, jokingly pointing out how he seemed to know more about you than you knew about him.

But perhaps, that was a terrible idea.

Megumi stopped, falling quiet as he turned back slowly to face you. His lips were pressed, as though he internally debated what charged and hateful thing to say next.

How dare you involve yourself in his matters? How dare you use his words against him? Arrogance was never a classy trait. So, how dare you challenge Megumi, an incoming freshman at one of the best universities in the world, while you were a sidepiece in Japan’s aristocracy.

You braced yourself, expecting a barrage of insults, until he asked, “Are you feeling better since yesterday night?”

Caught off guard, you froze, not sure if you heard him right.

Meanwhile, Megumi did not meet your gaze. He almost appeared ashamed to do so, regarding the nearby bookshelf instead, his long fingers running over the wooden engravings.

The room, once filled with apprehension, now held a rare glimmer—a shred of kindness that left you realizing how complex the teenager was.

To respect his space, you stayed put from where you stood, the library growing quiet while waiting for your answer.

“I am better, thank you for asking.”

While Megumi tilted his chin forward in thought, he still did not glance your way. He stayed silent for a long while, sucking on his teeth.

“Sorry,” the boy spoke up again. With his head hung low, he took in a deep breath through his nostrils before admitting, “I know I'm a complete asshole sometimes.”

This, naturally, was the last thing expected from the younger Fushiguro. Observing him from your position, you noticed how his features softened as he thumbed through the shelved pages of one book.

Was this real?

Five minutes ago, this was Angsty Megumi. The don’t-bother-me Megumi. The hated-your-fucking-guts Megumi.

Yet suddenly, he began apologizing. While Toji presumably had some influence in bringing about this change, Megumi appeared to mean what he said given his idle fidgeting.

The easier—and frankly, more childish—comeback was to make a scene and accuse him back. After all, Megumi’s slander and actions had torn a hundred gashes at your fragile heart, but you knew better than to hold grudges at your age. “Thank you, I appreciate that.”

Another silence, this break twice as long as the last. He continued to drill his stare into something far less interesting, but only because he seemed hesitant to speak more. His lips parted and then closed as he visibly fought with himself regarding his next words.

“This doesn’t mean I trust you, though.”

Oh. Just when you thought you advanced two steps ahead, you had merely been circling around square one. Right, you should have expected that because this was only the first time you two were holding some semblance of a civil dialogue. But, despite all this internal rationalization, that didn’t make your disappointment any less.

“That…is fair,” you replied, trying to mask the rejection in your tone though the defeatedness still bled through.

“Look,” Megumi started quietly.

He sighed and ran a hand down his dark hair. When he finally turned to you again, gone was the outright scorn that once dwelled in his eyes, replaced by a countenance far more sad. His lips pursed into a strained line, his forehead marked with concern, and brows furrowed ever so slightly.

“I don’t know what your intentions are. Just…please don’t hurt my dad.”

Your chest tightened.

Megumi could judge you for all he wanted, but you felt unfairly blamed. He had said something similar last night. What could you—a young and inexperienced housewife to the Zenin family, yourself with no real power—possibly do to hurt Toji?

“I don’t know what you mean.”

The boy stared at his feet, rocking on his heels. “Dad’s been through a lot. All to protect me. But, as an unfortunate result, he had made several awful decisions in the past to the point I feel like I am the one watching out for him instead. Ever since my mother passed away, he had been a mess.”

Ever since his mother passed away.

While you were aware that Toji had an ongoing affair with ‘Tsumiki’s mom,’ you had not stopped before to think about Toji’s other past wife who must be Megumi’s mom, much less wrap your head around the possibility that the latter no longer existed in this world.

Not that you were to blame.

Toji, who preferred to keep many private matters to himself, didn’t mention his first wife in conversations before, her premature death being a likely reason.

This might be rude, but you had to ask, “What happened to your mother?”

Megumi had expected the question, putting on a front to seem tough and act as though the past didn’t bother him. Yet, pain flashed visibly across his face.

“Involved in an accident many years ago. She was an event coordinator and traveled to Canada to visit a vendor when she crossed an intersection, and then…”

He paused.

Even though you had an inkling about what he was to do next, adrenaline coursed through as Megumi raised his outstretched fingers and collided them to create the letter T.

“Boom. Gone.”

Your heart sank.

How come no one had ever mentioned this to you before?

While you could understand why Toji did not want to discuss this traumatic event, the other therapists never brought up their leader's tragic history either. Therefore, the realization wrecked you—to think about how a young woman’s life could vanish from an unpredictable freak accident, leaving behind a husband who could never tell his wife that he loved her one last time and a son who could never feel his mother’s tender affection again.

“That’s horrendous,” was the most appropriate reaction you could conjure to sum up your thousand thoughts. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know…”

Your voice trailed off.

Despite the time to process, you still didn’t know the proper verbiage. Only now were you scratching the surface regarding who Toji and Megumi Fushiguro truly were, and you could only wonder what else there was to know about them.

“Don’t say sorry to me.” Noticing your loss for words, Megumi had interjected. “I don’t remember much about my mom since I was seven when she passed, so not that I really care anyway.”

A lie. The teenager tried to seem unbothered, but his voice wavered. Even Megumi himself must have noticed how he began choking up a little, turning away to distract his sadness.

“My dad, though…” Megumi continued, but he didn’t need to finish his sentence for you to understand the rest. “He truly loved my mom.” After propping his elbow against a nearby shelf, he rested his head on his palm and sighed. “He had given up everything just to be with her.”

Both warmth and sadness shone through like he was retelling a bittersweet story of star-crossed lovers—two people deeply in love yet destined to be apart.

“I see.”

“Dad has not been the same since,” the boy continued to explain. “He slept around a bunch and got charmed by some pretty lady. Blinded, my dad got married to her and life had been a living hell afterward—treated me like a bag of shit, spent all my dad’s money on her shopping sprees every weekend, and even neglected her own daughter—my stepsister—which forced my dad to raise her instead.” In the end, Megumi huffed loudly in exasperation and seethed in anger, his hands balled into fists that turned his knuckles white. “A fucking bitch.”

He’s talking about Tsumiki’s mom, you realized.

“They’ve gotten divorced, no?” you inquired, referring to Toji and his second wife.

“Thank all the Shinto gods, they did! About several months ago, yes. Would have taken their marriage certificate into my own hands if they hadn’t by now!” Megumi exclaimed, extending his hands out to rip an imaginary piece of paper for illustrative purposes. “That…That whore did my father really dirty during the years they were together. No, the craziest shit is that she continues to bother my dad all the fucking time.” Scoffing, he threw his arms into the air. “She’s got a new shiny boy toy, so why is she still trying to bother the ex-husband that she placed the divorce papers in front of?”

His eyes slid to observe you, as though he attempted to read through your thoughts or elicit some reaction. Therefore, when you did not, Megumi simply continued.

“I am this close,” he leaned forward, bringing his thumb and index closer just about together, “ this close to placing a restraining order on that lunatic. For my sake, for my stepsister Tsumiki’s sake, and for my father’s sake.” Then, he dropped his hands down in one long sigh. “Therefore, I hope you can understand why I have trust issues.”

With this newfound information, you finally understood why Megumi had been so hostile to you during your first few encounters with him. He had a good reason to be. With all these years gone by, he hadn’t seen anything good come out of his father’s escapades ever since his mother’s passing, and Megumi was desperate and determined to protect what he had left.

Like you, Megumi knew that Toji deserved none of this.

Toji did not deserve to agonize alone after his first wife’s untimely death, he did not deserve to be taken advantage of by his second wife who sought opportunity in his heart’s emptiness, and he did not deserve the suffering of having no one by his side to comfort him during these times.

Seriously, how could you possibly be complaining about bad sex to a man whose lowest lows tortured him far beyond your comprehension? Juxtaposing your therapist’s tragedy—from loss to grief to betrayal—against yours made your problems seem minuscule compared to the vast amount in his. Even though Toji suffered through many colossal heartaches, he still lived, smiled, and gave each day his all, living through the halcyon days of sunshine.

Meanwhile, Megumi stared at the ring that was already on your finger. “Are you going to marry my dad?"

Spit nearly catapulted past your mouth.

“What?” you blurted, dumbfounded.

“I don’t want another stepmother,” Megumi clarified, assuming that the answer to his question would be yes. “I just want a mother.” He crossed his arms and hugged himself, the loneliness evident in his orotund voice. “I…want to know what having a mom feels like again.”

You could feel and see, for the first time since you two met, the vulnerability that resided within Megumi. A side that would only come out whenever he thought about his childhood, which must have been filled with love, joy, and beautiful memories.

Seeing this made your heart tear with sympathy.

Because, in him, you saw a reflection of yourself.

“Back when I was in high school, my mother passed away after a long battle with kidney cancer,” you divulged, recognizing and validating his sorrow. "The immediate years after were extremely difficult for me because I had known my mother for so long in my life, and I sought a presence that could replace hers. My father, like yours, recognized my struggles and took it upon himself to fill my mother's shoes. Still, my mother cannot ever be replaced, and I similarly do not think I can completely substitute your mother either. But there is one thing for you to know: that my very last goal would be to hurt you and those you care about, Megumi.”

Words, you knew, did have the capabilities to mend the rift alone, so you took slow steps toward him. In the closed distance, the desolation in his eyes became more vivid, the ever-present struggle between his confused emotions and the barriers he fortified to protect himself and those he loved.

Without saying more, you tugged at his arm and pulled him into an embrace.

Beneath your hands, you could feel his shock.

He resisted at first, a subtle rigidity in his frame.

Gradually, however, those tense muscles in his body softened as he sunk in the warmth you provided him. His shoulders seemed to lower along with his guard, and he leaned into the hug. Not every issue may have been resolved, but at that moment, you found a common ground with Megumi that replaced the once-charged disagreements with a consolation transcending words.

“I only know a small part of your story, but I want to be here for you,” you whispered, voice a soothing murmur.

Megumi did not respond immediately, but his grip on your shirt tightened as if acknowledging the shared vulnerability. There was warmth from his body that assuaged your broken and throbbing heart, and with great sincerity, you hoped that he could at least get the same comfort from you. Like a little child, he rested his head by your neck and let out a deep breath.

“Thank you for talking to me.”

With a sad smile, you patted his back. “Of course.”

Even the room seemed to exhale in relief, releasing the lingering tension that had gripped the vicinity.

The peace and serenity were only interrupted when a holler thundered from the upper floor.

“Boy!” Toji, who must be done with his call now, boomed. “I told you to clean the bathroom, already! Mopping and scrubbing today!”

Megumi groaned at the command and peeled away from your touch. “I’m going to do that soon!” he shouted into the void, hoping that his voice somehow made its way back to his father.

“That’s what you said an hour ago!”

“Okay, yeah, he’s right,” Megumi conceded, huffing. He stepped back, a faint blush dusting across his pale cheeks.

“I’ll be back,” he muttered shyly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Just some chores to do. Sorry.”

Toji must be lucky to have such a good son like him.

“No worries.”

With Megumi rushing out to obey his father’s commands, you found the library now all yours. You were smiling ear to ear, your entire body much lighter now that you had resolved many misunderstandings with Megumi. As you waited for his return, you scanned the room in search of something to help you pass the time, your gaze fell upon the Harvard pennant again, this time also noticing the framed document that hung beneath the banner.

“What is this?” you mumbled to yourself.

Yes, as Megumi had pointed out about you earlier, you were incredibly ‘nosy.’ In your defense, this was your chance to learn more about the Fushiguros, a family whose past you just began to uncover through the conversations earlier.

Besides, what harm could be done from just some innocent curiosity?

You approached the piece slowly, unable to comprehend the English print quickly when your first language was Japanese. Yet, with just enough foreign language reading skills, you figured that this document was in fact a Harvard University diploma. Impressed, you admired the gold embossed letters, the university's iconic emblem, and the dark ink that conferred the degree to…

Toji…Zenin.

What?

last chapter || next chapter

end notes: We have officially hit the turning point in this fic! The reason I enjoyed writing this chapter so much was how many topics and emotions were explored. While our hot therapists didn't take the spotlight, we got a chance to explore our very elusive Megumi.

taglist: @dissociatingdiva @httpsplanetmarsdotcom @nemoyr @huangfairy @shadowarchon @203steph @agentdedf1sh @cloudybabes @lynn-writes-things @illicitwriter @7oji @kikuchimi @chaoticjojofan @musicisme333 @vvestwoodrose @kumocchin @s-guru @mwahilovemylife @hey-gurls69 @cloudsinthecosmos @moon-mumu-moon @kazscara @obitohno @skilerfrostfairy @funicidals @nico707 @proteovaldez @tsukiyohanayome @marimoares @qirbys @puffaloxx @sakanoshitaa @arizzu @kissditrio @tokyometronetwork @downtown-roponggi @the-cosmos-network

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preciouslandmermaid · 2 years

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TOUCH || (carmy x f!reader) [request]

Request: Jealous!Carmy

Touch || Carmy x f!reader

Word count: 2.6k

Content: 18+/Smut/MDNI

Tags: jealousy/possessive!Carmy, hair pulling, established past relationship, oral sex, drinking/intoxication, light angst. (they’re exes who aren’t over each other which makes it spicier).

Note: I barely ever write any jealousy-type things so hopefully this is still fun to read. (ending is opening to interpretation lmao)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jimmy’s wife, Adriana, always threw an extravagant holiday party. (“It’s a Christmas party, honey. Not holiday.” She’d always say whenever you asked about it). You were used to going after your brief time working at The Bear combined with the longer period of dating Carmy. You broke up in November, but Adriana still expected you there.

The risk of seeing Carmy was high, but the risk of pissing off Adriana was higher if you didn’t go.

The wine was expensive, the food plentiful, and the Christmas music blared across the house-wired speakers amidst a thousand conversations happening at once.

Adriana squealed upon seeing you, pulled you in and kissing both your cheeks. She smelled like expensive, heavy perfume. Her earrings sparkled beneath the lights and the diamonds within would cover your rent payment for the next three months.

“Ah! So good to see you, sweetheart.” She patted your cheek with her hand. “You must be starving! Go get some food.”

You slyly checked your wristwatch. You could mingle for an hour and then disappear without hurting anyone’s feelings. You moved through the standing circles of people talking, saying quick hellos to those who recognized you, and hiding your frown whenever they’d ultimately ask “Where’s Carmy? He’s not with you?”

You poured yourself a healthy glass of white wine, took a generous sip, and leaned against the kitchen counter.

“Yeah, I can’t stand these things either.” An unfamiliar voice said beside you. You turned to look and discovered a well-groomed, square-jawed, and olive-skinned man with dark brown eyes smiling at you.

“Is it so obvious?”

“The wine gave you away.” He said while slicking back his shoulder-length, sleek dark hair.

You clicked your tongue then, stuck out your hand with a friendly introduction. It was easy enough to fall into conversation with him. Matteo, as he introduced himself, regaled you with stories of his villa in Sicily and his most recent trip to Barcelona. The wine loosened your tongue and you found yourself relaxing despite the nagging worry that Carmy would show up at any second.

You placed a hand over your chest in mock-astonishment. “You have a dog? And you didn’t bring the dog to the party?”

“He’s a puppy! He would chew all of Adriana’s expensive shoes.” Matteo laughed. “Here, let me show you a picture.” He pulled out his phone and swiped over to an album of an adorable, fluffy white Shih tzu. You leaned closer, your chest pressing into Matteo’s arm, and you cooed – cheeks warm from drinking – at the onslaught of cuteness on the phone screen.

“You gave him a bowtie?!” You giggled.

“He and I like to dress sharp.”

You said, “of course you do.” When you pulled away from his side, no longer hovering over his phone, your eyes naturally lifted to the room and a prickle of awareness buzzed down your skin. Your eyes locked onto tired, doleful blue ones. Carmy stood across the kitchen island with a red plastic plate in his hand. He wore a black button-down dress shirt and the same black jeans you’ve seen him wear at work a hundred times. A thousand emotions filtered through your brain and heart.

You missed him. You weren’t supposed to miss him. Your breakup had been the shittiest, most drawn out bullshit you endured this year. Realistically, you and Carmy were done in October, but he dragged his feet and refused to talk to you about anything that was going on. You ran out of patience, and he ran out of excuses. It was a slow-motion breakup that led to a metaphorical car crash. Two dead, no survivors.

Your lungs slowly deflated like a helium balloon. You put on a brave face and refilled your wineglass with a smile.

“I’m going to get some fresh air.” You returned your gaze to Matteo, “you’re welcome to join me.”

Matteo’s hand settled on your lower back, “I will in a moment. I must talk to that fine gentleman over there.” He pointed to an older man in the dining room. He gave you another brilliant, white smile before slipping through the guests like oil. You avoided looking at Carmy as you left the kitchen and escaped through the glass doors leading to the backyard.

The cold, biting air nipped against your exposed legs and arms. You should’ve grabbed your coat before coming outside in midwinter with only a dress on. But you weren’t going to turn back now. You inhaled each frosted breath and tried to clear your warm, fuzzy head.

You needed to drive home. You couldn’t. All because you overestimated the power of Adriana’s fancy wine on an empty stomach. You sank onto the step and leaned your head against the support pillar by the door. Jimmy’s backyard was dusted in snow like powdered sugar. Or cocaine. You snorted into your wineglass.

The door opened behind you, “new boyfriend?” His voice made a flush of warmth erupt across your skin. Carmy sat beside you, and although nothing of his body touched yours, you felt the heat all the same. You took another courageous gulp of wine. Maybe if you blacked out, you’d stop feeling this way. This ache, and hollowness, and pain that echoed inside your chest. You wanted to claw your heart out and toss it, red and bloody, to the wolves. Coming here was a mistake.

“Maybe.” You retorted acidly.

Carmy scoffed and a puff of cigarette smoke swirled in front of your eyes. You tilted your head back and drained the rest of your glass. The wine burned on the way down and it was the only thing worth feeling.

He asked. “Did you eat anything?”

“No.”

“Seriously?” You nearly smiled at his affronted tone. Even before you were dating, Carmy would ask if you’d eaten, especially before the workday started. He’d tease you that you couldn’t survive off coffee alone and then throw something together or improve leftovers and drop them in front of you with a pointed look. You’d make a big show of taking a bite and being dramatic, saying ‘oh my god, I’m saved! I was famished!’ and he’d laugh and call you an asshole. Your heart burned.

“Mhm.” You rested your chin in your palm and finally glanced over at him, “you gonna lecture me?”

“I might.” He flicked the ashes off his cigarette, “you gonna – um – you gonna ask your new boyfriend for a ride home?”

“I think…” You pursed your lips and tried to remember your conversation with Matteo. “He came here on a yacht? So…no.”

You sighed and shrugged. “I’ll just call an Uber.”

“It’s a holiday. You’ll get fucked on surge rates.” Carmy licked his lips, “I can give you a ride.”

You frowned at him, “why’re you being so nice?” If he noticed how you were slurring your words, he didn’t say anything.

“Because…” His hand settled on your bare knee. It was warm, solid, and familiar. Your body leaned into his, shoulder-to-shoulder, and you drank in the sight of him like a starving apostate. “I’d rather take you home than let that asshole do it.” He said, referring to Matteo. His eyes hardened in the dark, cold light and his exhale puffed with condensation between your mouths.

“Carmy…” You elongated his name in your mouth, tasting each letter, and savoring it. “If I didn’t know any better – I’d say you sounded jealous…”

His hand slid from your knee, up along your thigh, and squeezed. “I’m just looking out for you.”

“Such…a gentleman…” You whispered. It was difficult to focus on his face with wine rushing through your veins. You closed your eyes and leaned in – letting your lips brush against his in the lightest, barest touch. Your body ignited like a spark to flame. Carmy’s lips were on yours, urgent and incessant, his hand slipping higher until it was tucked beneath the folds of your dress and at the apex of your thighs. His knuckles stroked against your core. You grabbed his bicep, fingertips digging into the solid, hard muscle and canted your hips against his teasing touch. The bitter cold and the hollowness inside your chest was forgotten. You were alive again, flush with heat and desire, burning as bright as a star in the midwinter sky.

The threat of someone interrupting and breaking the spell loomed over you. You muttered against Carmy’s lips, soft and warm, “will you take me home?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carmy convinced you to drink water on the ride to your apartment. His exact words were: “If you drink all of this, I’ll make it worthwhile.” But then wouldn’t tell you exactly what he was going to do, teasing you and leaving it a mystery, and fuck—you were a sucker for unanswered questions.

You dropped your keys in the bowl near the door and kicked off your heels. You heard the door shut behind you and started pulling the bobby pins from your hair to loosen it from the up-do you styled for the party.

Carmy grabbed you around the waist and you let out a surprised gasp. You stumbled into him, your back to his chest, and one hand cupped your breast while the other locked around your hips and pinned you to him. You couldn’t even squirm free if you tried.

“You wouldn’t have fucked him.” He said before his lips dragged down the side of your throat in hot, open-mouthed kisses. Your face contorted with confusion. It took you longer than a few seconds to realize who he was even talking about. Matteo was a blip of a memory. A smudge on the windshield of life that would wash away in the next snowstorm.

“How do you know?”

His hand massaged your breast and the silken fabric of your dress rubbed pleasantly against your nipple. His thumb circled the peak of it, until it raised pert beneath his finger, and he pinched it – the sensation only slightly dulled by the fabric. You hissed and struggled in his grasp, your ass snug against the front of his jeans where you could feel the tight straining of his cock.

He said, “I just know.”

You tilted your face toward his and his mouth met yours with a fierce, unusual intensity. The car ride and water helped to sober you up and you were now painfully aware of the stab of longing in your chest. You wished things could be different. You wished he would stay the night. Carmy kissed you like he was trying to prove a point and your knees weakened at the sheer brunt, passion that smoldered through your body. He released you just to turn you around in his grasp. Face-to-face, you could see every emotion etched out across his face. Arousal was easy to see - the brilliant blue of his irises were swallowed by his pupil and the way his lips glistened with saliva. Yet beneath the desire, you could see affection and tenderness in his gaze. This was the same Carmy who picked you up off his couch and tucked you into bed. The same Carmy who wouldn’t hold your hand in public, but who would rest his chin on your shoulder when you took the L together. You pushed down your thoughts.

“You just know?” You mocked while unbuttoning Carmy’s shirt with trembling fingers. You couldn’t believe the audacity of this man. You might’ve slept with…whatever his name was…Matt? Anyway, didn’t matter. You could’ve slept with him was the point. His large, calloused hands pushed your dress up until the fabric bunched around your hips.

His nose bumped into yours, “Mhm.”

You leaned in to kiss him again, but then he moved and dropped to his knees in front of you. He yanked your panties down your legs and let them fall around your ankles before spreading your thighs and burying his face between your legs. Your head fell back and knocked loudly into the wall. You were grateful for the fact that your only neighbor was an elderly couple who went to bed at 7PM and could sleep through a hurricane. Carmy’s tongue licked a stripe across your folds and unraveled a single thread of your composure. Your fingers tangled into his long, soft hair – you always loved his hair – and you gently pulled on it. Carmy hummed, pleased, in response and closed his lips over your swollen, aching clit. You keened, the knot in your chest tightening, and your eyes screwed tight. If you looked at him, you’d shatter, so you kept your eyes closed and focused any available brain power on staying upright.

Carmy moaned, his mouth working over your clit in slow, languid motions and sending pulses of heat through your core. His index finger curled into you until he was knuckle deep, and you cried out, again, gasping his name like it was the only one you knew. Carmy knew which buttons to push, metaphorically and literally, to bring you closer and closer to the edge. Your body responded eagerly to him with reckless abandon. The hot, clenching tightness in your stomach and cunt drove away all other sensation and feelings. You couldn’t be angry with him, or sad, because you were reduced to a singular, primal desire.

Your hips bucked, your hands pulled at the root of his hair, tugging on his scalp, and earning you a pleased grunt from Carmy each time. You learned early on that he enjoyed having his hair pulled and you took advantage of that fact every single time.

“Fuck, fuck, Carmy – don’t’ stop.” You pleaded, “I’m so – close - please, don’t stop – fuck, fuck, fuck – I love you.” Your mind blanked out – complete static and gray – a guttural cry released from your throat, tears pinpricking behind your eyes at the sheer force of your orgasm. You slumped against the wall, your heart hammering, and thighs twitching.

“That’s why.” He murmured, drawing his lips away and biting your inner thigh hard enough to leave a mark. You whined at the additional sensation with the last tremors of your climax fizzling through you. The tip of his nose nuzzled against the fresh mark on your skin, and you blinked down at him. You tried to make sense of his words, but it all sounded like gibberish to you.

“I wouldn’t fuck him…because you…I’m sorry – I’m not following.”

He raised to his feet and held your jaw in his hand, his fingertips firmly pressing into your skin, “because you still love me.”

Your eyes widened and Carmy kissed you once more, slower, and sweeter, with the tang of your orgasm on his tongue. The knot inside your chest stole the breath from your lungs. You tore your face away from Carmy’s, looking off to the side, even as you stood with your bodies pressed together and his hand remained on your chin.

“And I still love you.” He admitted quietly. “I don’t- I don’t want you to be with anyone else. I want you to be with me.”

You swallowed the lump inside your throat and your nostrils flared. Why couldn’t you just fuck and then he could leave in the morning like a normal one-night stand? Why did it have to be complicated? Why did it have to hurt?

“I fucked up, okay? I fucked up.”

You stopped staring at your shoes in the entryway hallway and closed your eyes. “Are you bringing this up only because you saw me sort-of flirting with someone at Jimmy’s tonight?”

“No.”

Carmy’s hand released your chin and stroked your cheek with the back of his knuckles.

“Or maybe a little…I don’t know…I just – I don’t want to walk away from this. I’m a complete fucking mess. I know that, okay? But I want to try again – I’ve wanted to start over since you left my apartment that night. I should’ve fucking called. I should’ve knocked on your door the next morning. I should’ve asked then, but I didn’t and I’m asking you now – will you be with me?”

#carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy x reader #HELLO IM BACK

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gabbasposts · 7 months

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>I know you want to<

Star Wars: Anakin Skywalker x Fem Reader

Warnings: Fingering, language, sneaking off to be horny, etc 💀 18+ do not interact with this post if your a minor, I’ll block you 🙂

A/n: Kinktober prompt day one: Fingering (I gotta look for the person who I got the Kinktober template from, I’ll edit this and add their name but I won’t tag them because idk if that’s going to be awkward or not 💀) but this is a bit rushed due to the fact i decided I wanted to participate in it this year after all… at the very last minute. It is currently 11:44PM and I’m trying to haul ass, so if there’s any typos I’m sorry, I’ll probably edit this anyways 😂

•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•

You didn’t know what was worse… the fact that you actually snuck off of temple grounds with him, or the fact that his fingers were slowly working your core as you sat in between his legs within the cave he had “recently” just discovered…

“Anakin…” you panted, your eyes screwed shut as he thumbed your clit, his middle and ring finger still moving deep within your walls. This was your first time doing something like this… despite your nerves and brain telling you to stop and return to the temple, the pleasure seemed to over compensate, and made it harder for any logical thoughts to filter in.

“A-Anakin,” his name fell from your lips in a shaky whisper, your hands resting in his thighs as his arm was wrapped in front of you, working your core to it peak. “When you said you needed help I- shit…” you couldn’t even finish your sentence due to the tremors that were beginning to overtake your body.

He smirked, an action you could feel against the skin of your neck, and despite the pleasure that clouded your mind, you couldn’t help but want to smack him. “Oh come on, you like it… if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be clenching around my fingers like this.” He murmured, his tone dripping in that familiar cocky tone you grew to dislike… well, not so much in this instance.

You let out a needy whine, trying to shift in his embrace in an effort to slow him down, but his other arm was wrapped tightly around your waist, keeping you in place.

You could feel your peak practically teetering on the edge, your body flushed beneath the robes you now regretted not taking off due to how hot your body was growing, and the overwhelming heat that radiated from his torso he kept you flush against.

You wanted to say something back... Maybe call him a pervert for lying to you, and telling you he needed help with a new fighting technique that he wasn’t “ready to show the others”

The thought of mentioning the fact he could be booted from the temple for this also crossed your mind, but of course you only would mean it in a teasing manner.

After all, it wasn’t like those things didn’t apply to you as well. You weren’t gullible, nor innocent… you two had been dancing around each other for awhile now.

Purposely brushing up against one another whilst walking, “correcting” one another’s posture and stances all the while giving each other that knowing glance once you came in contact with one another…

When he had stopped you from fully leaving the training room after a particular training session to ask you for help later on, you knew this was finally the peak between the both of you… and you had anticipated it.

Your hand came up to clutch his bicep, gripping onto him a little tighter when you felt your vision beginning to stir. “Anakin,” you panted trying to warn him that you were close.

Your legs began to spasm a bit as you fought not to close them around his hand fully, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by him, and made his cock twitch in his pants, much to his delight. In that moment he knew he needed to be inside you immediately once you came…

“Come now… do it for me, I know you want to…” he murmured into your neck, placing heated kisses alongside it once more, urging you to your peak as his fingers sped up and soon you could hear the slight embarrassing noise coming from below.

You didn’t have to be told twice though… again, you had been anticipating this for the longest time, and even though your thoughts still turned to the possibility of getting caught, and reprimanded, you still wanted this more than anything.

Your back arched against his torso, and despite your eye’s squeezing shut just as he managed to rip the orgasm from you, you still saw small burst of light behind your lids.

If that simply came from him fingering you, you couldn’t help but to wonder what it’d feel like to do more… with him again.

#star wars smut #anakin smut #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker x reader #gabbasdumbthoughts #hopefully once Kinktobers over my smut writing skills will have improved #this is my first smut of the year and it’s almost over 💀#edited because the typo’s towards the end… 🤡

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theres-a-body-here · 1 month

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Darling~

Miguel O'Hara x Male!reader

Part 1 | Part 2 |

As Miguel slipped in and out of consciousness, he became vaguely aware of being dragged along the hallway by some unknown force. It wasn't until he regained some level of lucidity that he realized it was one of your black tendrils wrapped firmly around his ankle.

All around, the sounds of battle echoed - cries of pain and success melding together, only to become silence as you took him deeper into the structure's internal complex.

You hummed softly to yourself, navigating the maze-like corridors with ease while keeping Miguel close at hand

"V-Venom," Miguel managed to croak out, struggling against the paralyzing effects of Scorpion's poison coursing through his veins.

Continuing the journey deeper into the base, you cast a tender gaze upon Miguel. Your voice held a sickly sweet tone, gently whispering words meant for his ears alone.

"We've missed you so much, amor."

Miguel, however, was barely holding on, fighting back waves of nausea caused by the debilitating toxin coursing through his veins. He opened his mouth to respond, but only managed a pitiful moan in reply.

The sudden ceasing of movement rouses Miguel from his drowsy state just enough to notice you stopping in front of a door marked by a prominent medical symbol.

Everything became hazy again as your slimy, black tendrils went to work on breaking through the keypad lock securing entry.

Then, everything went black for Miguel…

~~~~~~~~~~

A low hum gradually filtered into Miguel's awareness, slowly awakening him from unconsciousness. He groggily blinked open his eyes, greeted by a harsh glare emanating from the sterile white ceiling above him.

Disoriented, he soon discovered he lay atop a cold metallic stretcher, rigid and unforgiving beneath him.

Grunting in discomfort, Miguel rolled his head to the side where a tray of medical supplies rested on wheels. Various syringes and vials occupied its surface, suggesting recent use.

Just as Miguel started to relax, a chillingly serene voice invaded his personal space.

"We were worried you wouldn't wake," you said nonchalantly, studying him with such intensity.

Startled, he whipped his head towards the source, finding you perched comfortably on another bed nearby.

Eyes locked onto yours, Miguel felt his blood run cold at your unsettling calmness – unmistakably predatory in nature.

An oppressive silence filled the space between you both, punctuated only by the relentless buzzing of fluorescent lights above.

Unsettling tranquility hung heavy in the air as you leaned forward expectantly, ready to continue your conversation.

"We hope you were dreami-"

However, before you could finish speaking, Miguel sprang into action. In one swift motion, he flung himself off the stretcher, grabbed its metal railing, and hurled the entire thing directly at you with impressive speed.

You remained entirely unfazed by the incoming projectile as long tendrils burst forth from underneath your clothing, effortlessly stopping the stretcher mere inches from your face.

Each individual strand contorted and flexed in unison, crushing and tearing into the metal structure with minimal effort before casting aside remnants like discarded waste material.

As quickly as it had begun, it ended; an eerie stillness hanging in the air.

Miguel was gone.

"Rude."

There was no anger in your tone - simply mild irritation tinged with disappointment.

~~~~~~~~~~

Miguel sprinted through the winding corridors without looking back, every fiber of his being urging him forward. Every muscle screamed in agony as he rounded corners and vaulted obstacles with newfound determination.

Eventually reaching the expansive hub of activity, he observed countless Spider-People working alongside each other, collectively pushing back against an overwhelming tide of evil forces.

Relief washed over him momentarily, replaced almost instantly by renewed determination - finding Spider-Byte and fixing The Go-Home-Machine was now mission critical.

~~~~~~~~~~

Suspended midair via tendrils looped around his neck, Hobgoblin gasped for breath while desperately thrashing around in random directions. His struggles proved futile against your iron grip; eyes bulging in terror as he looked at your calm expression.

You waved a photograph casually under his nose, tapping at the figure of Miguel. Two other figures were captured in the image, but they had been scratched out with sharpie in an erratic way.

"Have you seen him pass by?" You asked sweetly, casually flicking your wrist in a manner that tightened the hold slightly – eliciting a panicked yelp from the trapped villain.

With subtle adjustments to your grip, you allowed enough leeway for Hobgoblin to speak freely without fear of suffocation taking over completely.

His voice trembled as he stammered out his denial. "No, I swear! Never seen him!" He insisted, frantically shaking his head to emphasize sincerity.

You dismissed Hobgoblin's protests with a simple hum, signaling your skepticism but accepting his statement nonetheless.

You released Hobgoblin abruptly, your tendrils flinging him through the air until he collided with a nearby wall with bone-crunching force. Dust clouds rose as he slumped to the ground lifelessly.

Your attention shifted towards another hostage suspended upside down by your tendrils - a Western-style cowboy hat obscuring most of his face save for a pair of terrified eyes peering back at you warily through his red bandana.

"¿Y tú, arañanita?" you queried gently, pulling him closer while pressing the photograph up against his masked face for emphasis.

"Have you seen him?"

Unease etched across his features as he examined the snapshot showing Miguel's likeness within its borders. Despite attempts to hide his recognition behind a facade of stoicism, the slight twitch of his eyebrow revealed the truth.

He knows

"I don't even know who he is," he lied smoothly, maintaining composure despite the racing rhythm drumming through his body like wildfire.

Yet as his gaze met yours, fear gripped him fully as he saw a knowing look reflected in your irises and a faint smile gracing your lips.

You know

"We're in a hurry, so we'll make this quick," you murmured soothingly.

With those final words uttered, two thick tendrils snaked their way around his skull, muffling any protest that lingered on his tongue thereafter.

Within moments, the helpless cowboy found himself engulfed in complete darkness due to your suffocating grasp covering his face entirely.

His muffled cries grew louder but ultimately faded into the air of the isolated area.

#miguel o'hara #miguel spiderverse #miguel x reader #male!reader #yandere!reader #venom!reader #across the spiderverse #atsv miguel #atsv x reader #itsv x reader #male reader #villain!reader #miguel x you #miguel x y/n #spiderman #spiderman x reader #venom symbiote #Vemon!reader

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baskeigh-ball · 4 months

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Ignoring the fact that ibis had the ai paint feature a couple years before this whole ai fiasco, after seeing your post, I decided to try it out to see if it really held up. I already knew what you said made no sense, as even stuff like ai painting requires heavy human input that isn't just someone typing a prompt in a thing and looking through thousands of images and somehow still calling it 'art'. Really, it's just some weird advanced bucket.

The ibis ai paint... really sucks. I'm pretty sure it hasn't even been touched since it was added. No matter what I did, I got random colours and whatever colours I had put there looked like it were from a filter, not to mention how my lineart bled everywhere like it was blurred out.

Ibis isn't problematic for adding that feature as not only was it added ages ago, but it was also just a gimmick only added because a few more popular paid programs added them, like Clip Studio Paint. I highly doubt even the company took it seriously considering how poorly built it is. This is actually the one time I'm glad some feature in an app sucks so much.

Another reason why ibis isn't problematic by the mere feature alone is that, when you look at the artists making content during the time of that update, it was received with humour. It was something fun to try, but ultimately dismissed for actual artwork, as nobody would use it to fully paint their works. Nowadays we see something slapped with the words 'ai' and think that it's instantly bad due to the latest issues with it and big corperations/ certain production companies but it isn't. It's just a lot of people abusing what was previously some fun gimmick, which it can still be, and for certain apps, still is. Nobody throws pitchforks at character ai, after all.

You can tell just by the size of this that I'm procrastinating on something. Ima go and let this rot away in your askbox now lol

You really thought this would fade away in my ask box, mwahahaha /j

I wanna start off by saying thank you for holding me accountable, I will admit that I got buzzworded pretty hard in this situation lmao

This information came as a surprise to me-- I was seeing posts pop up within the past week complaining about the ai feature on ibis, so I assumed it was recent. As it turns out, after reading your ask, I discovered that I got a few wires crossed! Because yes, the auto paint feature I referred to in my post has been around for years now, and was never taken seriously anyways

So that was my bad (and yea ur right it's completely unusable, lmao)

But as it turns out, the feature that people have been complaining about DID come out recently. It was called the AI Example feature, I think the idea was that you make a simple drawing and the AI adds 99% of the detail and color, which I've seen a bunch of other programs do.

...and then it was immediately removed due to some pretty major backlash, which, duh

^ This is the only evidence I can find of the 11.2.0 update that included the AI feature on the actual site; their update history stops at 11.1.0. But there's also the news page about the removal of the update, so it's not like they're trying to pretend it never happened.

So tl;dr, I jumped on the hate train a little too quickly and never did enough research to figure out what the actual update was, and that it's been removed by now anyway (which I couldn't have known until today, ofc, but i did kinda post that thing about ibis today so it's still a pretty major oopsie)

I think I can say with confidence now that I agree, ibis paint isn't problematic to use-- they made a mistake with this update, but they actually listened to their users and removed it LITERALLY the next day. So, thanks for letting me know! I'll also edit my last post to prevent any misinformation, just in case people make the same mistake I did :]

#its a big relief that i dont have to learn how to use an entirely new art program anyway #so this ask came as a pleasant surprise #asks open #ibispaintx #now i just gotta hope i didnt get anything else wrong about the update

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dragonageconfessions · 7 months

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CONFESSION:

My confession. I recently discovered Mark Darrah's youtube channel and Its really made me understand game development better. I especially appreciate his sharing of his Dragon Age Memories. I've come to see things differently and I've come to understand why some things/elements/aspects I would like to see can't be done yet because the technology is not there to include it. Its also made me filter out a lot of people in the fandom who post conspiracy theories and really bad takes on Dreadwolf, etc. Its made me realize how many in the fandom come out of the woodwork thinking they know everything about game development when they really don't

youtube

#Dragon Age Confessions #BioWare #Dragon Age #Mark Darrah #Game Development #Fandom Critical #Included some of his videos #Youtube

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accio-victuuri · 11 months

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and so the bottled joy cpn saga continues….

started from them using suspiciously similar bottles from the brand and both with lemon water on it. then it continued onto other things that made turtles 🤨. apparently it doesn’t end there and they have no chill. i’m still 50/50 on these but i won’t say that i don’t appreciate it.

so it all started up with a post done by the brand that featured some of their products last 5/23 ( ai zhan ). two of those are color red & green — which is the combined fan colors of xz and wyb + what looks like a yellow one? some turtles were clowning lightly ( joking — why are you posting our family picture? ) but apparently, these upset a few so/os to the point that one complained and the brand ( through customer service most likely ) apologized. which is pretty standard tbh. it doesn’t prove any “loyalty” to a fan group or what. tho i’m pretty sure the brand appreciates so/os — it’s kinda expected that they will apologize for any “inconvenience” they caused a customer no matter how ridiculous it is.

anyway, going back. people discovered that the day before the video, they posted an article of their collab with li-ning ( which zz endorses ) at 18:23 ( yibo ai zhan ) — then as if that wasn’t enough, a collab with loreal with a blue bottle ( which is the sort of the color of the container in loreal pro ads ). i doubt the endorsers get much say in this kind of business of collabs but the fact that it’s both theirs is a nice coincidence.

you would think that they will stop with anything that would associate wyb with xz or cpfs but they didn’t.

5/29, they posted on Weibo, specifically about putting fruits in drinks. “fruits” is a term that cpfs call themselves. So is this an acknowledgement? What’s hilarious are the comments on the post. It’s all BXGs showing support and sharing photos of their purchases.

5/31, they decided to play it up with what WYB said on his Chunzhen live event. So they posted a video featuring a drink with frozen lychees ( which wyb said he enjoys ). all good right??? not really. the bgm they used is titled you who love heartily 105 degrees. It is a lot of people’s favorite song but why that? 105. 10/5. plus later, they showed another drink, this time with frozen bayberry which is another popular bjyx cpn. I mean. Are these all coincidences?

and well this ( painting of xzwyb) — i’m just…🤦‍♀️😂

they are clearly not helping themselves here…

most recently, they shared another video using the same filter as ybo’s douyin post. which a lot of cpfs were happy about because of the colors ( which is a cpn i’m not buying cause it’s a popular filter & totally yibo’s style ) — so this is taken again as being in cpf’s favor. 😌😌😌

-END. ❤️💛💚

#yizhan #bjyx #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do #i’m currently on tb taking screenshots of everything i like to order 😂😂😂😂#i just hope it doesn’t get misplaced by the warehouse like what happened with my first order

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mspaesthetic · 9 months

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I recently discovered this tumblr and it's been super useful for me since I'm making a fanventure! One thing I'd like to know, though, is how Hussie made the panel on Homestuck page 4801. I find the "gradual shift in focus" very cool and was wondering how the blur effect was done.

Glad you've been finding it useful so far!

For that panel, he used a Gaussian blur filter. Recreating this panel would be fairly straightforward. First, the background and subject would have to be three separate layers: one for the foreground subject, one for the background subject, and one for the actual background.

I've grouped them together as you can see here, and duplicated it four more times. The gun starts off with a strength of 4 pixels, and for each subsequent duplicate layer, the strength of the Gaussian blur filter is reduced by 1 pixel for the foreground element, and increased by 1 pixel for the background element.

Decreasing foreground element's blur

Increasing background element's blur

I believe the background was done differently, however. Instead of increasing the strength of the blur, Hussie duplicated the background layer on top of the original background, blurred it by 4 pixels, and increased the opacity of the duplicate for each frame of animation.

Here's my recreation:

And here's the original panel:

Here's the PSD for my recreation, too. It has information in it that can only be editable in Photoshop, though.

Sorry if I glossed over anything. If you still have any questions, please feel free to leave any follow-up ones!

#question #blur #animation #homestuck

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pennylanefics · 1 year

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Secret Garden - Josh Kiszka

a/n: i of course got this inspiration at like 2 in the morning and finished it at 4 🙃 it starts off rough bc i haven’t written for a bit, and it’s not my greatest, but i tried :) also inspired by this photo i reblogged yesterday

summary: josh finds a hidden garden and brings you there to spend time together

Josh walks along a concrete path, his soft hand in yours, swinging back and forth like two children holding hands. His thumb rubs the back of yours soothingly, reminding you with his touch that he’s here and with you. Today, with him being back home from tour for a little while now, he wanted to spend time with you, of course, but in a new place.

Recently, while on a walk by himself, he discovered this little secret and hidden garden with a small but beautiful pond and a bunch of plants and flowers in the middle of a round stone structure; he immediately knew he wanted to bring you with him the next time he went and show you the space.

No words are spoken as you come up to a wooden structure, overtaken by the greenery. There’s a small bench underneath a large circle cutout in the paneling, overlooking the gorgeous yet slightly overgrown garden.

“Josh, what-”

“I came across this and it was so peaceful here, and I figured we could use some time to ourselves,” he murmurs, bringing you over to the bench to take a seat.

Looking out the window-like feature, you take in the bright green scenery, the early morning sunlight filtering through to bathe everything in a hazy glow, the fog in the distance beginning to settle. There was a large tree just to the right of you, a few ways away from where you sat, that provided some shade to the small pond that it was planted right next to.

“Who owns this?” You wonder, turning to your lover, who sits there, admiring you, a small grin on his lips.

“I’m not sure. It’s not on private property, so it must be a community thing. But I sat here for so long the other day, clearing my head, and I know you could use the same.”

His hand remains in yours as you lean against the curve of the circular cut-out, staring at Josh in awe. The sunlight was beginning to move, and the spot Josh sat in was its next target; though he didn’t seem to care, and as he gazes into the distance, you take in his features.

From the soft curls resting against his forehead, to the slight bump of his nose that you loved so much, his ears that were now visible all the time due to his haircut, and the newly shaved down sides that were your favorite part about it all; how soft it felt under your fingertips, like his velvet jumpsuits right before he goes on stage.

The blinding sun shone directly onto Josh’s face as he takes deep breaths of the fresh air, yet he still didn’t seem to have an issue with it. This gave you a chance to see the beautiful color of his eyes. He had always been insecure about his brown irises, hating that they weren’t a striking blue or deep green that would grab people’s attention.

However when you met him, you found a deep love for his eyes. They held so much of his soul and so much knowledge, they hide visions of film ideas behind them, and best of anything, they offer so much comfort. When you’re feeling down, you can look into his eyes and suddenly, everything is okay; he expresses his emotions with them as well, and it’s one thing you adore about him.

Of course, not to mention amount of love they held for you every single time they landed on you.

The streak of light lit them up beautifully, turning them from a deep chocolate brown to a stunning, rich, golden brown, one that makes them stand out so much more, and showcases their beauty in a different light.

You get lost in the sight for a moment, falling into the pool of color, feeling that sense of comfort come to you, even though no words have been said. Warmth washes over you by just looking into is eyes, a sign of how in love you are with Josh.

Traveling down his face, your eyes land on his soft, plump lips. The ones you loved to kiss so much, the ones that spoke praise to you during passionate nights, so pink and kissable all the damn time. Every so often, as you lay in bed laying side by side, facing each other, you take a moment to trace your finger along his lips just because. And he always makes sure to give your fingertips soft kisses in return as well.

“Something on your mind, darling?” His voice breaks you from your daze. Shaking your head for a moment, your eyes meet again, and now, that warm, comforting color was staring right back at you.

“Nothing at all,” you grin, brushing off the daydream. “Just thinking about how much I love you.” Josh smiles and leans forward to capture your lips in a kiss.

“I love you too, dove,” he whispers against your lips before sitting back down.

As the hours pass, you and Josh remain in your spots, enjoying the nice, spring weather while taking in the beauty of nature, and quietly chatting over anything and everything. Josh tells you stories from tour that he was saving to tell you, while you detail what some of your days were like without him, or complaining about work.

Eventually, you move to lay in Josh’s arms, with your back against his chest, your head snuggly fitting into the crook of his neck. His arms were wrapped around you as tightly as they could be, and he rests his cheek on the crown of your head. Your legs were sprawled out on the bench, the sun now high in the midday sky, making the leaves and vines creeping up the sides of the walls the perfect sunshade for you.

Your eyes flutter closed as a cool breeze washes over you, the chill in the air sending a small shiver up your arms. Josh begins to hum along to one of their new songs quietly as his hands rub your forearms, having sensed your sudden discomfort with the temperature.

“Josh, can you tell me the story of when you decided you wanted to become a filmmaker?” You ask, not turning around. He chuckles lightly, the sound rumbling in his chest and vibrating onto your back.

“Of course, darling. I was young, probably twelve, when my school was doing a film contest. Anyone could send anything in, and I did something with Jake and Sam. It was so stupid, we were just running around on the playground at the park near our house. But it had a whole story to it. We used our imagination the best we could, and it somehow ended up winning second place. From there, I decided that I really liked telling stories.

“It escalated to writing out short stories for me and my friends. They went nowhere aside from acting them out whenever I had friends sleep over. But then when I was sixteen, I had a friend who offered to lend his video camera to us so we could shoot it. And ever since then, I’ve loved writing stories and and watching the script come to life.”

The soothing sound of his soft, melodic voice was enough to make your eyelids grow heavy, but you didn’t want to fall asleep and miss this incredible time with him.

“Haven’t I told you that before? Why did you wanna hear it again?” He asks, placing his cheek back on your head. You hum quietly and sit up, his face falling as you slip away from his arms. Coming close to him, you kiss his nose as softly as ever, a blush immediately rising to his cheeks.

“I just wanted to hear you talk. I love listening to you.”

“Is that so?” He coos, trying to cover up the fact that he was flustered and flattered. Giggling, you kiss all over his face in response, eliciting a high-pitched giggle from him as well.

“Very much so. Why do you think I ask you to read me to sleep every night? I could listen to you talk for hours.”

“You’re so adorable,” he gushes, kissing you as sweetly as ever. You settle back in his arms, silence falling over the two of you as the sounds of nature take over.

Birds chirping, the wind rustling the green leaves on the trees, the flowers bouncing along with every breeze. Crickets could be heard in the distance, adding to the ambience of the space. Josh closes his eyes as well, breathing in the scent of your shampoo, calming and grounding himself in the moment.

“I could stay here forever,” you whisper, turning your head to gaze up at him. He smiles, placing a single kiss to your forehead.

“Me too, dove. Hopefully when we settle down, we can move into a little cottage away from the city, no neighbors for miles, just wide open spaces, a beautiful garden to sit in and enjoy on days like these.”

“Do you dream about that? Like…what our future looks like and all?” Josh clears his throat and situates himself a bit to get more comfortable.

“I do,” he admits quietly. “I would love to move closer to the mountains, away from civility, but not too far, just for the solitude and peace. No honking cars, no drunk people walking down the street at two in the morning, no neighbors playing obnoxiously loud music until the late hours of the night. Just us two, maybe a dog and a cat.”

“What kind of dog and cat?” Switching positions, you were now sitting with your legs draped across Josh’s lap, his feet planted on the ground, facing forward. Your right arm rests around his shoulder while your left lays on your legs, playing with Josh’s right hand.

“I always imagine a greyhound. A gentle giant, one that’s rescued from the racing tracks. I would love to show them what it’s like to be loved, they’re such beautiful dogs and it would be such a magical time and feeling watching them accept the love and care they deserve. And for cats, you know we’d have to get an orange cat. They’re such characters and so loving and sweet at the same time.”

“I love that,” you sigh softly. “It sounds so nice. What else do you imagine?” Josh smiles and looks at you sweetly.

“I imagine a garden where we can grow our own fruits and vegetables, probably a little nook like this to spend our days in, reconnecting with nature and just being in each other’s presence. I also think it’d be a small house, not too big, maybe a room or two extra for our kids.”

“You think about that too?” Josh’s face was now bright pink, his secrets having been exposed. Yeah, of course he thought of everything like that, but he wasn’t expecting to share it, ever.

“Yeah,” he whispers, looking down at your entwined hands. “But I won’t get into that right now.”

“Do you think about names?” You wonder, keeping your eyes down as well. He pauses for a moment before a small chortle rattles his body.

“Daisy and Heath,” he smiles to himself. “The boy’s name is a work in progress, but the impact Heath Ledger had on film was incredible.”

“I love those, Josh.”

“And I love you,” he finally looks up, tilting your chin a bit to meet his gaze. Smiling widely, you take notice of the absolute adoration in his brown eyes, back to the original color that you fell deeply in love with. “I want to be with you till the end of time, my love. You are my everything, and I want to give you the world because you deserve it.”

Tears form in your eyes and you fall into Josh’s arms, wanting to hide how emotional he’s made you.

“I love you so much, Josh. You mean everything to me, and you already give me the world by just loving me.” He leans in and kisses you deeply. His hand rises to cup your cheek, his thumb softly rubbing the apple of your cheek.

Your hands tangle in his soft locks, your right hand tugging on the curls at the back of his neck, your left hand threading through the side, right above the shaved section; your fingertips eventually trail down for a few seconds to stroke over the fuzzy area.

The kiss lasts for a few seconds before he pulls away to rest his forehead on yours, attempting to catch his breath.

“My beautiful angel, how in the world did I get so lucky to call you mine?”

—

taglist: @sacredthethread @doodle417 @digitalcalamity @rocknrolls-child @fan-girl-97 @writingcold @thecoldwind @allieisacrybaby @jordierama @streamingcolors-gvf @stardustcatcher @stardustchxrds @sacredthefran @gvfungi @Mamalikes_gvf @saremar1 @joshkiszkatoe

#josh kiszka #josh kiszka imagines #josh kiszka x reader #josh kiszka fanfic #josh kiszka imagine #greta van fleet #gvf #greta van fleet imagines #greta van fleet fanfic #gvf imagines #gvf fanfic #jake kiszka #danny wagner #sam kiszka #imagines #fanfiction #fanfic

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