#remember when she cried about it and portrayed herself as a victim

[everydaykdramasstuff]

Link: Love Eat Kill, episode 12

First impressions:

I cannot wrap my head around if it is just a distraction or they actually lifted the curtain for who the culprit is? The man from the market. We still do not know exactly how Da-Hyun lost her memories, but she know remembers she was a victim too. She tried saving Gye-Young but ended up being the only one who escaped. She slowed her down and their kidnapper was after them. Da-Hyun was young - knew she needed to save herself and that meant losing Gye-Young even though it has hurt her ever since her memories came back.  

I cannot figure out if Da-Hyun’s grandmother and mom knows more than it is portrayed, or they are just grieving a difficult period of their life. A family member being kidnapped. We will probably get more information about that period of their life.

I almost cried when he saw her sticker. A sticker she probably left in case he would come looking for her. I do not believe the new owner has anything to do with it, but his wife seems suspicious.

Their breakup hurt me. I understand where Da-Hyun is coming from. She is reminded of Gye-Young every time she sees him and vise versa. And there has to be a breakup scene in every drama, but I am crossing my fingers that they will get back together.

We also have a killer on the loose. Someone who is a contender to being the culprit from 18 years ago.  

#tvn #tvn drama #tvn kdrama #tvn link eat love kill #link love eat kill #kdrama #drama #episode 12 #no da hyun #eun gyehoon #kdramanetwork

[cyberhobi]

hey I wonder what Kendall Jenner is doing rn, let’s see if a couple of pepsis acc help

#smh #remember when she cried about it and portrayed herself as a victim #kendall jenner #blm

[vidalinav]

I hate that Nesta’s protectiveness, the one quality in the narrative that even Feyre saw as Nesta showing her love for Elain, and the part of her that was again shown when she chose to die with Cassian, that was honored as she stood at Enalius’s passing, because she wholeheartedly wanted her friends to live, which can even be passed to the act of her wanting to tell her story and help the fae, because she wanted to protect the humans—to give them a chance, that part of her that started scrying because she wanted Nyx to be born in a better world, that sacrificed her powers for her sister and her nephew, because she wholeheartedly did not care about herself, she cared about other people’s well-being, that quality I never found bad or awful towards Nesta, that one quality I actually thought highlighted how good Nesta was, and how caring, is used by Elain as Nesta’s character flaw even though Nesta is only protective of Elain during three instances: one when they were human, which Nesta conceded on letting Feyre and the IC use the house after Elain says they should, one when Elain was lifeless for a bit and deeply traumatized, and once in ACOSF about scrying when the last time she scryed Elain was taken by the cauldron and Hybern.

This is why I can’t sympathize with Elain as a victim to Nesta’s ways as it’s portrayed in three instances: when she cries in the library knowing full well the current state of affairs, when she accuses Nesta of only thinking of how her trauma affects her and saying that she remembers Feyre rescuing her, and when she talks of the duke situation and says that she hopes Nesta channels all of “that” into something more productive. And then when Feyre agrees that they ALL coddle her, when Amren says that they shouldn’t underestimate her, and when Rhys again says that perhaps they haven’t seen what Elain is made of, and when Azriel is like we shouldn’t subject her to that darkness. Some of this I would understand Elain getting mad, but not for Nesta coddling, because Nesta at this point hasn’t even seen Elain for a WHILE, which makes all the difference, because how can she coddle someone she has pushed away? I can see her being angry for what Nesta says, the dog comment (actually that was never said out loud) or the father comment or what the IC do because they don’t give her tasks and kind of just let her be, but the context of the situation DOES matter, because these situations in which Nesta is saying something mean is a situation where Elain is really oblivious and not reading the context of the situation, and it comes at the end of the scene when it’s already been taken too far. She’s not mean for sport lol. I would even understand the anger based on feeling left out, but that’s not what she gets angry about. It’s directly and only at Nesta and for that one quality, and it has made this notion both in the book and the fandom that Elain is “coddled” specifically by Nesta as opposed to giving Nesta the validation that she is deeply afraid and her MO entirely is that she protects the people she loves. She has not told Elain she has no free will, she has not taken it away. That has NEVER happened. Elain consistently thrived for almost all of the book series, until she turned fae. There was no forever under Nesta’s thumb. 

It reminds me a little of when Elain says that her father could never say no to Nesta as if this grown ass man had no control and all of the control/responsibility was on this 14 year old girl. What? It’s also why I think Elain has much of the same skewed, problematic perspective as Nesta had in the beginning of ACOSF where she thought people sided with Feyre. I have such a problem that people in this fandom use that dialogue as a way that Elain is the rational one, or the one whose finally and rightfully sticking up for herself, or who is a victim of other people. Like no I’m sorry. I do agree that she is neglected in some sense, but there is more evidence that that is her choice than it is because of other people. She literally says that Nesta can’t hate her choice to live a simple life but also hate her getting involved. She locks herself away when Nesta is there. She pretends to garden for other people or whatever as Cassian notes it might have been a lie. She avoids Lucien. She is the one who though Feyre thinks she’s pleasant, they’re not extremely close, and that happened without Nesta involved at all. 

The mere act of saying it’s because of other people makes her a victim which is her whole character arc from the beginning, of her not helping even when she could just as much as Nesta. Nesta is both held accountable for her healing as in everyone pretty much pushes her to do it faster, and then also for that situation. Elain isn’t held accountable for either. Neither her own healing, Bc they didn’t push her at all even now. And also for that hunting situation.

We’ve seen literal evidence of Elain in ACOMAF where Elain is like softly being like Nesta we need to help and Nesta concedes. We’ve seen Elain stab the King of Hybern. We’ve seen her be pretty mean too in ACOSF, or at least biting back. She can help if she wants. That is not Nesta’s fault so I really really hope that that is her skewed narrative and it becomes an objective of character development as Feyre was to Nesta and it’s not used as another way that Nesta is criticized for something in the book as well as the fandom that is far more complex than “oh Nesta is mean. She hurts everyone. She’s an awful character. Blah blah blah.” But ultimately, I hope it’s used for Elain taking accountability of her own life. That it is not other people’s fault, she’s not happy or doing something or close with many people. Her narrative right now, even with the mate bond situation, is that she lacks control of her own life, but... uhh hate to break it to you. 

The evidence is there guys. Elain is having problems. Nesta is not THE problem, which for gods knows why I’ve seen on so many posts when they want to defend Elain. Defend Elain, she’s not a bad character. But not for this lol. This is one of her character flaws. 

#nesta archeron #anti elain #anti SJM #anti acosf #that's all for my Monday rant

[thelovelyghostwriter]

Some of my favourite female characters in fiction

This list is not exhaustive and while I do have other characters that I find charming and that I love, I have noted these characters because in my opinion, they have struggled and/or there is a certain analysis to their personalities. 

Please take note that some of the characters are not morally good or have done questionable actions. This is not to discuss or say they are role models, but rather to write up what they represented, their role in the story or simply their personalities. I’m not here to justify the character’s actions.

Remember that a well-written characters do not have to be morally good. 

Also, a lot of them are from memory and the analysis aren’t well-structured. 

Let’s dive in:

1. Daisy Buchanan from The Great Gatsby

Daisy, in my opinion, is incredibly misunderstood and unjustifiably hated among the readers. Her betrayal to Gatsby is indeed vile and it did upset me, I definitely think that she is materialistic, shallow and hurtful.  

“I hope she’ll be a fool—that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.”

Daisy did shit on Gatsby [trying to avoid spoilers here].  

However, I do like to note that I think part of her materialism and shallowness is because of how women were in the 1920s. They did not have any freedom or agency. To Tom, she seems to be a trophy wife for him to keep; and to Gatsby, he only liked the idea of her, he wasn’t in love with her. To everyone around her, she was an item, a beautiful doll to be possessed, rather than a person. I think that’s why she turned out like that. 

She's materialistic because men around her sees her as an object. Nonetheless, Daisy is still “careless” and hurtful; and I think this stemmed from the life she had led that were a compilation of choices that were made for her. Her betrayal towards Gatsby is what makes her character rather disappointing to most readers. The whiteness in her dress as described in her first appearance? It’s not innocence, but rather a void and jadedness. 

2. Neon Nostrade from Hunter x Hunter

Yet, another girl in our list that loves to be hated by the fandom. Though honestly, most of her haters are Chrollo and Kurapika stans who gets jealous because Chrollo got to hang out with her and Kurapika works under her. Also her repulsive hobby - although this is actually what makes me like her. 

I have addressed this in my other posts before, but let me just copy and paste them (and modify a bit):  Her upbringing and exploitation by her dad makes her materialistic and emotionally detached. This materialism and detachment is manifested in the form of her hobby as a dead body parts collector. But other than that, she’s really a normal girl, just sheltered and spoilt. The money she spends are even from her talent Lovely Ghostwriter, her father will be nothing without her. So I don’t see an issue with her spending them on shopping etc. 

In fact, I would argue that she bathes in materialism to fill the emptiness that she has. Her father is more concerned with her ability and power, she has no friends and is guarded 24/7 by employees.

All the times she threw tantrums and the way she talks… it’s a different speech pattern altogether when she interacts with Chrollo - which may suggest that the whole spoilt attitude is exaggerated to gain attention from a father who is indulgent in terms of material gifts, but not in terms of affection and time for her.

When Eliza cried, she was willing to forgo bidding the auction physically. Yes she did not care about the bodyguards because she is more focused on the living and the present (Eliza) than the dead.

The reason why she didn’t seem fazed when Dalzollene and the others died is because a) they were her bodyguards, it’s their job to put their life on the line to protect her, b) she mentioned to Chrollo that her fortune-telling is for the living, she likes to live in the present and doesn’t believe in the afterlife.

Neon is more focused on who is alive, rather than the dead (which also represented by her hobby of dead body parts collecting). She focuses on the present, unlike her clients who likes to know their future or people who dwell in the past. Kurapika on the other hand, is the complete opposite. He dwells on the past and likes to focus on his dead clan rather than the present times with his friends (which is completely understandable).

Another significance is that her fortune-telling ability is very useful and helpful, she says that she wanted to make people happy with it; but however, it is commercialized and used as a means of power (knowledge of the future = power) by her father and pretty much everyone around her. Just like how she objectifies dead people by collecting their parts, the people around her sees her as a tool due to her fortune-telling abilities, rather than see her as a person. Even Kurapika chose to get employed under her, for his own agenda (he is bound to meet dead body parts collectors at some point). 

She treats people like objects because people see her as one.

Of course, collecting dead body parts is a pretty fucked hobby; but what she represents and her role as a minor character is what makes her an outstanding minor female character in the show. 

Yes. She has traits that are not your typical role model, but neither are other hxh characters. She’s not independent, naive, can’t fight, in need of saving, uncaring at times and spoilt. She is far from so-called “strong female character” that we often look up to. She is a character with bad traits which is a result of being a victim. But that’s what makes me love her as a character in hxh. It reminds us that there are girls out there who has lack of freedom and control over their own fate; and their only way out is through materialism and detaching themselves from people. 

In fact, she might be even relateable to some people more than other female characters because there is vulnerability in her character.

3. Hua Mulan (Mostly the Chinese 2009 film, though the most well-known is the Disney 1998 animated film)

There has been various adaptations for this character, with the Disney Animated version being the most prominent.

However, my favourite one is definitely the Chinese film Hua Mulan: Rise of A Warrior (2009). It portrays the horrors of war and the suffering it brings, nationalism, camaraderie among the army - all while giving us the admirable Mulan climbing up to the ranks of being a war general.

I highly recommend this adaptation. I know the Disney Live Action 2020 version did not receive good reception, and we honestly did not need one because this 2009 Chinese film does the job well (I like their soundtrack though). It's not really well-known because it's a Chinese film (which is hella ironic because Hua Mulan is a Chinese character? Lmao).

"Today we will stain the battlefield with our blood. Behind us is our homeland. If we have to bleed out our last drop of blood, if we have to become bleached bones in this desert, we must defend it to the death! We must let the Rourans know we Wei warriors will never surrender and will never compromise! Soldiers may rebel against me, generals may leave me for dead, but I, Hua Mulan, will never betray my country!"

Generally, I either have an issue with strong female characters because they are just shallow (meaning they are only physically strong, often viewing rudeness, misandry and independence as strength). I like female characters who are so much more to that.

Mulan, in this film, not only showed her badassery in fighting the war for more than a decade, but we also see how much she struggled. Everytime her comrades die, her heart gets broken. Yet she has to learn how to pick herself up and become the leader that they need. She dislikes war, she dislikes the bloodshed; yet she fights for her country.

To me, a strong female character is not just a feminist icon or someone who can fight. In fact, a female character doesn't need to be someone capable of fighting, what makes her strong is to be able to overcome turbulence with determination.

I think this is something that is lacking in recent "strong female characters" - showing us their strength through perseverance.

As for the Disney's counterpart (talking about the 1998 film here), it is less morbid but we also see her trying her best to make her family proud and protect her country. Like the song Reflection and Loyal, Brave and True, she struggles with finding her purpose and her role in her family.

"The greatest gift of honour, is having you for a daughter."

4. Blanche Dubois from A Streetcar Named Desire

It's been years since I had analysed Blanche, but among all the 6 books that I had to study for English Literature, A Streetcar Named Desire has been my absolute favourite.

I think what struck me in this book is not just the style, but Blanche's vulnerability. Her actions are definitely not morally good: she misrepresents things, she lies, she even had sex with an underage student. She's paranoid, mentally unstable and prissy. Which was why, her polar opposite character, Stanley, is so annoyed with her.

After her husband's suicide, we see Blanche relying on the company of men to fill the void of her loneliness and misery. She is also concerned about her beauty fading with age - I find that highly reliable. It sounds incredibly "vain", but beauty does play a part.

Based on Evolutionary and Mating Theories among humans, appearance in women are especially important (also for men but not as much as women). Of course, there are other factors and traits that people find attractive, but Blanche's concern is valid here. She needs to find a husband to escape from her financial troubles; and her age, beauty and chastity plays a huge factor in her search for getting a man in the setting she was in (which was Mitch in this case). Ironically, these are the very traits that she has "lost" and so desperately tries to hide it.

Her ending is truly a devastating and upsetting one. [Will not talk about it due to spoilers]

"I've always depended on the kindness of strangers."

5. Haibara Ai/Shiho Miyano from Detective Conan

Perhaps one of the girls that is a wasted potential. In a series where the characters are mostly flat, she's arguably the most multi-faceted (but somehow I had heard that she no longer has the same complexity as she used to have - it's been a while since I followed this series).

But I remember absolutely loving this character.

Her background story is really unique in the show and one that is embedded within the Black Organisation plotline (why her character was dropped... Forever frustrating for me).

From the moment she was first introduced, we see Conan taking an immediate distrust towards her. A guy who is a detective who had been catching criminals - yet one ex-syndicate member stands before him. The one that actually helped to develop the APTX4869 that changed his life.

Yet, we see that it wasn't entirely within her control. Both her parents were syndicate members and when her sister tries to get both of them to leave, her sister dies.

Ai starts off as seemingly cold, pessimistic and avoidant. But as her arc goes on, the iceberg around her melts. We see her quirky sarcastic replies, her taste for fashion and she genuinely desires to be happy. Her relationship with Conan developed into a beautiful one - to the point where Conan trusts her with anything and they would risk their lives for one another.

Yet, we also empathies with her impending jealousy and heartache. The boy she has fallen for already has someone else. What's more, the girl is genuinely kind and is a splitting image of her sister. After Ran saved her from Vermouth, she quickly warms up to Ran as well.

She's also the key to developing the antidote for Shinichi to be back with Ran - an almost painful metaphor for her to give him away (he never belonged to her in the first place). Yet, she doesn't really stop them from being together (even though in some cases she appears jealous or phrase ShinRan's reunion as a word of caution).

I definitely think she is the most compelling character in Detective Conan because of her character development and the struggles she faces. It's definitely upsetting that her character has been neglected.

“Don’t judge people from the outside. Like any rose has thorns, the more the person appears nice on the outside, the more you should doubt the inside.”

6. Misato Katsuragi from Neon Genesis Evangelion

Who is the best female character in Eva? Asuka or Rei? My answer will always be Misato, Risato is a close second (I wanted to analyse Risato, but I’m trying to keep it to one person per series). Misato is one of the 90s anime babes. She definitely captivated many people’s heart. 

I must say though, I have a soft spot towards female characters who has some sort of daddy issues (why I like Neon Nostrade). It’s been a while since I had watched Eva, but I’m going to try to remember why I like her. 

I think the concept of Hedgehog’s Dilemma has been echoed throughout the series, and all the characters seem to struggle with emotional attachment towards people. I actually like to phrase the Hedgehog Dilemma as “Avoidant-Fearful Attachment Style” - wanting connection with people, yet not being able to do so out of fear of being hurt. 

For Misato, when I initially first watched Eva, I compared her a little to Blanche Dubois in how they cope with loneliness - their sexuality. I remember being confused with her interactions with Shinji, who was half her age. At times, she serves as his guardian/mother figure; but at some moments (I think it was sometimes after Kaji’s death), she tried to seek comfort with Shinji by attempting to initiate sex (which Shinji rejects). I remember coming across a comment somewhere that Shinji and Misato’s relationship is somewhat like Humbert and Dolores (from Lolita) - can’t comment on this as I only read the first chapter of the book. 

It makes me think that she uses sex as a way to cope and the only way she can connect with people (and it’s superficial), which doesn’t work for Shinji because she needs to be her guardian (and ultimately fails to be purely his guardian once she crossed that no-no boundary). 

Another thing to note was her backstory about her dad. There seems to be a dissonance, given that she resented her dad for not spending time with her due to his work, but he ended up sacrificing her life for her. I do think it’s a bit of guilt (because resenting her dad but he saves her - these two contradicts one another). It’s clear that her issues to connect stems from her backstory regarding her father. 

It’s interesting how she compares Kaji to her father. I do think she loves Kaji, but “reminds him too much of her father” (as to put it simply). There is this... stereotype that we find someone similar to our opposite-gender parents, no matter how shitty they were towards us. I believe that it is because we tend to stick to something that is familiar to us, even if those type of people aren’t good for us (I think to break this cycle is to practise self-awareness and know what is good for us). 

Anyway, Misato is a character that I really liked (as all the characters in Eva) because they highlight Hedgehog’s Dilemma that stemmed from their parental issues. Maybe I have not watched a lot of anime, but female characters with issues with their fathers are not as explored deeply as male characters and their parental issues. A lot of times, female characters (especially in shounen) serves as a romantic interest and yes they can have really sad backstory, but not issues towards their father and how it affects their relationship with other people. So far, the only ones I had seen is Mukuro (Yu Yu Hakusho), Misato and Neon Nostrade. 

7. Disney's Cinderella

First of all, she has been a victim of abuse since she was a child. It's not easy for her to escape her predicament. Where can she go? It's not that easy.

Boy. I hate how much people remember Cinderella wrongly and attack her for being "backwards", which is actually factually wrong.

Cinderella always get flack for using the Prince to "escape" her predicament when "she can do it herself".

I say that's bullshit. I actually came across a youtube video: Cinderella Stop Blaming the Victim [please check it out for more in-depth analysis]

Despite all that, she's doesn't internalize it. She knows she doesn't deserve to be treated this way, and she does to a certain degree stand up to them (whenever the cat makes her tasks harder). She knows when to fight back and restrain herself because it might endanger her life.

After years of suffering in this domestic household, she remains kind, compassionate and hopeful. Which is not an easy feat. The problem is, these traits are often seen as feminine and synonymous with being weak. But it is actually, in fact, signs of strength. The mental fortitude she has to remain kind after all she went through is a sign of strength.

The Fairy Godmother only appeared when she was losing hope - take note that she ends up crying because her stepsisters tore her mother’s dress (which is the most disturbing scene in the film). 

Even I had remembered this wrongly - one crucial fact is that... She did not want to go the ball to nab the Prince. That was her stepsisters. Homegirl just wanted to chill. She did not even know she was dancing with the Prince!

When Lady Tremaine locked her up to prevent her from reaching the Prince, it wasn’t the Prince that saved her. She and her animal friends got her out of the room, and proceeded to prove that she was indeed the maiden that had danced with the Prince. Her marrying the Prince was only a fitting end to her because it provides her a home and an escape from an abusive household; however, it was her resilience for holding onto fate and being mentally strong, and her initiatives partially contributed to her happy end. The Prince is more like a passive character. 

I highly think that people tend to brush her traits - e.g. compassion, having fate, being kind is listed as feminine. However, it is far from being weak, which most people would deem it as. But that is definitely not true. 

“No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish can come true.”

8. Mikasa Ackerman from Attack on Titan

Mikasa is either a hit or miss among AOT fans. Some people like Mikasa because she is physically strong and her loyalty to Eren is admirable. On the other hand, some people think she’s clingy and her being physically strong makes her a Mary Sue. 

Whether or not you like Mikasa, there is a fact that she is not a Mary Sue. The definition of a Mary Sue is a female character lacking in weakness and seems perfect. 

She is physically strong, yes - I believe that Isayama wanted to distribute traits to the trio. Even Hannes has said it in S1. Armin represents intellect, Eren represents grit and Mikasa represents strength. So her being physically strong makes sense, and Isayama also provided an explanation for it (being an Ackerman). 

However, this does not mean she lacks any weakness. Arguably, her loyalty to Eren is both a liability and her strength. This “weakness” has been highlighted by her dilemma between her loyalty towards Eren and her belief that mass genocide is wrong.

[I won’t go into details about the manga parts that have not been animated as of 2021, can’t spoil it too much]. 

#daisy buchanan #mikasa ackerman #misato katsuragi #evangelion #cinderella #mulan #haibara ai #ai haibara #detective conan #shiho miyano #neon nostrade #hxh #hunterxhunter #blanche dubois #a streetcar named desire

[axebenefits]

Why Kokomi Teruhashi Deserves Better

let me start off with stating that teruhashi is not pursuing this life of perfection for herself. and you may think “but she seems to enjoy it so much” or “but no ones forcing her to be perfect”. however, there’s a lot more to her goals than just self satisfaction.

teruhashi is a beautiful woman who, seemingly from an early age, was fawned after and sexualized by everyone. even her own brother. though we’ve seen nothing of her family outside of her sibling, we can assume it’s not as perfect as she’d lead everyone to believe.

even if teruhashi’s parents didn’t add to any of the pressure or stress she’s under, they most certainly seemed to have enabled makoto. or at least been negligent in their parenting. how could anyone get to such a state of obsession? especially over a sibling, nonetheless. even saiki points out in the episode makoto is introduced (season 1, episode 9) that the teruhashi parents should not have let makoto get this far in his possessiveness. which leads me to believe that they either are very distant or they’re very careless.

then kokomi attends pk academy. here she has a variety of people her own age. and what happens? they worship her blindly. her gorgeous looks garner her constant empty praise because of this facade she displays. there’s even a fan club dedicated to her, one that has been said to have ADULTS in it. how creepy is that? and she just has to live with it.

but you have to think, would teruhashi even be able to live a life in which she’s not treated as a goddess? she’s exceptionally beautiful, very intelligent, and quite talented. there would never be a world in which she wouldn’t get the attention that people force onto her.

and, as sad as it is, i think she’d prefer attention that she’s asking for instead of something unwanted and unexpected.

this may lead you to deduce that she enjoys the praise and affection. that as long as her ego is being inflated, she’s happy. however, let’s think back to the valentine’s day episode in season 1 (episode 8). it’s rumored that teruhashi has brought chocolate for a special someone, and all the boys flock to her in order to earn her chocolates.

remember how annoyed she was, how frustrated she got when they were tripping over themselves to do whatever she asked of them. and why do they do this? do they care for her? unfortunately, no. she’s an accessory to them, a beautiful gem they can wear out and show off. these people hold no genuine love for her.

she was agitated, despising the crowd that followed her relentlessly. however, this is teruhashi we’re talking about. she gets followed by a crowd of strangers constantly. she gets swarmed by people at café’s. she is so used to such treatment, why was that time so different? it must’ve been a one time thing, right?

wrong! she never enjoys the attention she gets from people. she doesn’t put up this persona of the “perfect pretty girl” for herself. she doesn’t particularly like it, but she feels as though it is necessary. she constantly puts herself through uncomfortable and even downright upsetting situations to continue to show people that she is perfect.

what’s worse is that she’s so accustomed to people treating her more like a reality tv show star than a person. in the last episode of season 2, episode 24, we witness the newspaper club once more trying to tarnish her image. how do they try and get dirt on her? THEY FOLLOW HER AROUND.

and the saddest part is she notices IMMEDIATELY, and is able to take extremely detailed notes on what the perpetrators are like. she outright states this isn’t her first time being stalked. of course we know this, but can we register how upsetting that is? this young girl who doesn’t even have a genuinely caring and healthy family gets stalked constantly.

let’s not forget kokomi has clearly never had friends before she befriended chiyo and the rest. nobody treated her like her own person. they’ve all put her on this incredible pedastol, too far from the top to ever even think about befriending her. so she had no one to confide in, no one to make her feel safe.

but that all started changing when she became friends with saiki’s group. do you know why? because they showed her genuine respect and kindness. not empty validation and unwanted worship. the genuinely do care for HER, not like how the other pk students tend to only care for how she the image she portrays herself as.

no one ever cared to get to know her, until saiki and his friends. saiki’s group brings out the best in people. i could go on an entire tangent on why saiki’s friend group is so wonderful, but we can save that for another time. what i’m saying is that they treated her as equal. of course they do occasionally shower her in praise, but they have no ulterior motive. they don’t want to get with her, they just want to make her happy.

we see how she changes alongside this friend group. for instance, when saiko is introduced in episode 23 of season 1, she even states herself that the “old her” would’ve dropped everything for saiko. but now, she cares too much for her friends to ever let ANYONE insult them like that. and that feeling is reciprocated.

you can argue that every situation ends in kokomi’s favor, and therefore gets everything she wants. and i agree to an extent. she is most definitely adored by the gods. however, positive outcomes do not erase uncomfortable and even traumatic experiences. you can put a bandaid on a wound, but only time and care will truly heal it.

alongside that, i understand some people still view teruhashi as conceited and selfish. in episode 11 of season 2, after kusuke insults teruhashi, she cries in order to form a mob to sworm around him. and yes, this was wrong of her and i will not be making excuses. however, someone as worshipped as her is bound to have an inflated ego, is bound to develop such defense mechanisms. though it was wrong of her, there was reason behind why she acted in such a way.

she still has her flaws, she still gets easily annoyed with people. but let me remind you that, after garnering so much unwanted attention, anyone would get easily agitated by people trying to force themselves into their personal bubble.

building off on that, teruhashi is also extremely defensive of her perfect pretty girl facade. why? because it’s all she had for so long. she may have never had good connections or genuine love, but she had her image. and that kept her at ease.

but you can only fool your mind so much. there will always be a little light shining through the rose colored glasses, giving you a glimpse of what’s actually happening. and sometimes, the reality of it all gets to her.

but now, she has saiki’s group. and as much as i wish things would be different for her, for people to let her live her own life and treat her with actual respect instead of a rare doll to admire, i’m glad she has her friends. i mean, one of the reasons she even likes saiki so much is because he isn’t like the rest. he wasn’t falling to his knees to praise her. he wasn’t following her around like a lost puppy. he did none of that! and she felt comfort in his stoic exterior.

the fact that she likes saiki of all people simply proves that she genuinely doesn’t care for the validation people thrust upon her. all she wants is to feel safe and content, and saiki provides that for her.

but she still deserves better. she deserves to be able to set aside her reputation and be her own person. to say no to uncomfortable situations. she deserves so much more than what she gets. and while her friends are wonderful, i do wish the general population treated her with that same respect.

teruhashi is a strong-willed woman who sadly fell victim to internalized misogyny, to strive to be the perfect woman. and, in her eyes, the perfect woman aligns directly with society’s view of what a good woman is like. pretty, submissive, passive, nice; that’s not who she is though. we see that she has quite a bit of an attitude and is very easily annoyed. she’s also extremely clever and, while deceitful, does have a lot of passion.

and nothings wrong with that! it’s okay to be bitter sometimes. teruhashi still treats others with respect and she does yearn to be better, even if not presented consciously. she works hard to be who she is, and i admire that. but she deserves to be work hard to be who SHE wants to be, not what others expect of her.

in conclusion, while teruhashi is not a perfect person, she’s an extremely well-written character. the development she’s made has been astronomical, and i’m so proud of how far she’s come.

thank you for reading! ♥

#saiki k #the disastrous life of saiki k. #teruhashi kokomi #saiki no psi nan #the disaster of psi kusuo saiki #saiki

[keichanz]

Like Magic

hmm self control? don’t know her *fucks off to the land of unfinished WIPs*

so, i started this oneshot a while ago, forgot about it, then decided to dig through my WIP folder to maybe work on something else besides YRM for a while because I needed a small break from it. found this again, immediately dove in and welp here we are haha. I had a lot of run writing it and I hope you guys enjoy it :) it’s 32 pages jesuS CHRI

real quick, if Souji appears smarter than the average 2 year old boy it’s because i legit don’t know how to portray children since i know virtually nothing about them, so just pretend that half-demon children are slightly more advanced than human kids in this fic mkay? kthx. :)

oh and also when reading Inuyasha’s little light show for Souji, think about this video.

@fantastiqueparfait​ @morikothehalfangel​ @cammysansstuff​ @heyy-ahriii​ @tsukinohimeusagi​ @eternalnight8806-3​ @mamabearcat​ @hinezumi​ @sssuperbartola​ @doginabirdcage​ @ideasthatbuildcities​ @armor-emblem​ 

oh and @meggz0rz​.....remember a while ago when i first started this oneshot you mentioned that i should make Inuyasha do Joker’s pencil trick on Kouga? 

well...you’re gonna get a kick outta the ending ahahahah.

enjoy, lovelies~ 

Kagome’s head was positively throbbing and she was pretty sure it had more to do with the very distraught, screaming child in her arms than the fresh cut on her forehead that was still bleeding.

The flashing lights and loud engines of the emergency vehicles combined with the tow truck’s back-up alarm as it prepared to haul her totaled car away definitely wasn’t helping matters, and she was damn positive all the noise wasn’t helping her baby’s current temperament, either. With his ears pinned flat against his head to no doubt muffle the noise, his face red and scrunched up into a consistent howl with tears running unchecked down his flushed cheeks, her precious Souji had been inconsolable ever since she pulled him from her wrecked car.

At first she’d thought he was hurt somewhere and so she’d frantically searched him over as he cried, ignoring the witnesses that rushed over and asked if she was alright, but she’d only been able to marginally relax upon discovering he’d only suffered a few minor scrapes and bruises. She’d taken most of the damage, with a gash on her forehead, severe bruising on her side and diagonally across her torso form the seat belt, and her right ankle was aching something fierce, but she’d gladly take all that and more if it meant her baby boy was spared.

The accident had happened nearly an hour ago, Kagome was tired, sore, worn out, and Souji was proving rather thoroughly that he was perfectly fine by showing the entire neighborhood that he had quite the set of lungs on him.

Which really was quite unfortunate since it was, y’know, one o’clock in the morning and no doubt people were trying to sleep. Key word: trying. Kagome was pretty confident the entire damn neighborhood was awake now because of her son’s consistent shrieking, and she sent another mental apology to them.

She’d tried everything to get him to calm; singing his favorite lullaby, settling him in his mercifully undamaged car seat to rock him back to sleep, talking to him, walking around with him in her arms—absolutely nothing was working. Some of the kind spectators and even police officers had tried offering food and a young mother had even provided a sippy cup of chocolate milk, but Souji was having none of it. Kagome cursed herself for leaving her phone at home since usually putting on his favorite cartoon worked like a charm, but this was supposed to be just a quick drive to get him to fall asleep; taking her phone hadn’t seemed necessary.

He refused to let anyone come near her to treat her wounds, and he wouldn’t let anyone take him from her either. He became aggressive and nearly hysterical whenever an officer or EMT tried to take him, and she was sporting several scratches from where his claws had dug into her shoulders and arms. His screeching was the worst when that happened and it wasn’t long before they stopped trying altogether. Probably because with every attempt, whoever it was walked away with teeth marks or scratches somewhere on their body and Kagome had lost count of how many times she’d apologized.

To be honest, however, she couldn’t say she was very surprised. Ever since she’d left his father, Souji had been extremely protective of her, and even though he was only two years old, he let it be known if they were out in public that no one was allowed to touch her. He started growling whenever someone got too close, even bared his teeth on a couple occasions, and more than once she’d had to stop him from physically swiping with his claws.

Kagome understood his behavior. She knew why he was acting like this, and while most of the time it was endearing, sometimes it…well, wasn’t, and she wanted to go back in time and punch her ex-boyfriend in his stupid face for what he did. It was his fault her sweet little Souji was like this, and while completely understandable, it was still utterly frustrating and difficult to deal with, especially during times like this so Mama could get some relief.

“Oh, baby,” Kagome cooed for what seemed like the thousandth time, bouncing her son in her arms as she walked aimlessly around a little ways away from all the action of the police cars, ambulances, and curious spectators. Souji continued to wail at the top of his little lungs and she sighed, closing her eyes as she rubbed his back and tried to ignore the pounding in her head. Her arms were aching from holding him for so long, she had a limp from her sore ankle, and his slight weight agitated the fresh bruises on her body.

Ignoring the looks directed her way from the police, medics, and street residents alike, Kagome limped her way back over to the flimsy plastic chair someone had provided from somewhere and gratefully sank down. She grimaced when her sore chest and side protested, but she endured it as Souji burrowed against her, clinging to her shirt and digging his tiny claws in as he sobbed into her neck, his little body shaking, his sobs breaking her heart.

She kissed him between his little ears, feeling completely helpless. She knew he was scared and this was just his way of telling her that, but still, she wished she could do something. She wished she had the ability to make him understand he was safe, she was here, and nothing would ever harm him as long as she was around.

“Shh, baby, shh,” Kagome soothed, resting her head against his own and heaving another sigh as she stared tiredly at the ruckus surrounding her.

The man that had ran the stop sign and slammed into her had long ago been detained and was, last she knew, passed out in the back of a police cruiser. If she recalled, he had sustained little to no injury and that just freaking figured, didn’t it. It was always the drunk assholes that suffered the least, and the victims ended up with most of the damage.

Police tape was cordoning off the scene of the accident, and her car was in the process of being secured to the back of the tow truck along with the truck that had totaled her little sedan. Most of the spectators had returned to their homes, either too tired, or leaving because the excitement had passed. Police milled about, taking statements of witnesses or those who claimed they saw what happened, and the medics just sort of wandered around since their only patient was unapproachable. She felt a little guilty since she was keeping them from doing their job so they could pack up and go home, but it was fleeting because she had no energy to care anymore.

She just wanted to go home because maybe then Souji would finally calm down once he realized he was in safe, familiar surroundings, and a long, hot bath sounded positively divine right now. Thank god she worked from home so she didn’t have to worry about that in the morning, and though she doubted she’d be able to sleep in – a thing of the past when she became a mother – she would at least be able to sneak in a couple naps when Souji slept.

Souji paused in his howling to suck in a few unsteady breaths before continuing his distraught sobbing, mercifully at a slightly lower volume this time, and Kagome sighed as she rubbed his back, thinking that she would just have to let him cry it out. What else could she do?

When Inuyasha arrived on scene, he was greeted with the familiar sight of flashing red and blue lights, ambulances, and a tow truck with two very banged up vehicles hitched to the bed. It was your typical accident scene, nothing at all he hadn’t seen before, and when he spotted several of his colleagues seemingly just standing around doing shit all, he wondered why the hell he’d been called in if medics were already here.

He’d been planning on spending the night watching bad movies and eating slightly burnt pizza since he still hadn’t fixed his oven, but then he’d gotten the call to report to an accident not far from his apartment and those plans sailed right out the window. If it had been anyone other than Kaede that had called he would have flat out ignored them and carried on. But if it was his boss that was calling, he knew it had to be serious, so he hadn’t bothered to ask questions before giving his affirmative and suiting up.

Now, however, as he approached the yellow police tape and cut the engine on his Ford, he had a very good idea as to why his services were required. His ears flicked from beneath his ballcap and when he opened the door, the racket get even louder, confirming his suspicious. Oh yeah—that was one seriously ticked off kid.

He sighed and retrieved his medical bag from the backseat along with another smaller drawstring bag before ducking beneath the tape and heading toward a waving Kaede. He took a moment to glance around, instantly pinpointing where the racket was coming from, and his eyebrows rose into his bangs. Jesus, the kid couldn’t be more than two years old, and the mother looked pretty banged up. What the hell? Why hadn’t she been treated yet?

When he reached Kaede, she didn’t bother with pleasantries and launched right into an explanation. That’s what he liked about her; she never beat around the bush and didn’t like to waste time with small talk, much like himself. Probably why she was the only one he could tolerate to be around for more than five minutes at a time.

“Two patients, one child aged one to two years, one female, appears to be in her lower twenties,” Kaede started, relaying what he already knew, but it was standard procedure so he didn’t stop her. “Baby appears to be unharmed—”

“You don’t say,” Inuyasha muttered under his breath but Kaede ignored him.

“—both from observation and continued reassurances from mom. Mom has sustained several contusions along the torso and left side, possible whiplash and bruised ribs, possible sprained ankle, and possible concussion—”

“Possible?” Inuyasha repeated with a perplexed frown. “Why is nothing confir—”

Kaede leveled a glare at him and he wisely shut up.

“Nothing life threatening,” she continued, shifting her gaze toward the two patients in question and Inuyasha watched as some of her professionalism slipped, face softening into a concerned frown. “However, because we are unable to get close enough to perform an accurate assessment of both of them, injuries for both are as yet undetermined, so nothing concrete is confirmed.”

This just kept getting weirder and weirder. “Why the hell can’t anyone get close? It’s a woman and baby. Hardly any threat.”

At this, Kaede actually sighed and looked directly at him, her one gray eye intense and serious.

“The child is not fully human, Inuyasha,” she revealed and his eyes widened. “Any attempt to get close or take him away results in the babe physically lashing out in an endeavor to, I suspect, protect his mother. Unusual behavior for a child so young, and the mother refuses to have him sedated, which I can’t blame her.”

Inuyasha sucked in a breath and shifted his gaze over to the mother and child, amber eyes zeroing in on the infant bawling against his mother’s chest.

“You said…not fully human,” he murmured and flicked a glance at his superior.

Kaede nodded.

“How…?”

“She managed to relate some information before the child started getting aggressive,” she supplied. “I called you, Inuyasha, not only because of your skills with children—”

He snorted at that because really?

“—but because I thought perhaps out of anyone, you might be able to get close enough to treat both of them without the child deeming you as a threat. It’s a long shot, I realize, but at this point I’m willing to try anything.”

Inuyasha took note of the exhaustion in her eyes and posture and he couldn’t keep the corner of his lips from twitching upward.

“How long has he been screaming?”

“One hour and thirteen minutes,” one of his colleagues groaned from behind her and Kaede sighed again as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Fine,” Inuyasha finally said and then cocked a brow at her. “I’ll do what I can, but he’s probably only howling because he’s scared, Kaede, not because he’s hurt. No doubt he smells his mother’s blood and senses her pain, and combined with the shock of experiencing something he doesn’t understand and all the different scents around, it’s unlikely he’ll let me examine him.”

The look Kaede sent him was very dry and suggested that this was reason number two as to why she’d called him. He shrugged and simply raised his brows as if to say “what?”

“Just do something,” the same colleague pleaded and there was a general murmur of concurrence of that statement from the people still present, three of which were police officers.  

Shaking his head, Inuyasha nonetheless did as he was bade, however before approaching he took a minute to appraise his tiny patient and his mother. He still couldn’t get over that the kid was in fact a half-demon like himself since they were such a rarity now a days, but he didn’t allow himself to think on it for too long. The kid was trying his level best to burrow inside his mother’s shirt - a shirt, he noticed, with numerous tears in it no doubt caused by wee claws - and she looked…well, she looked like hell.

Unsurprising, considering she’d just been in a goddamn accident, but still she looked about ready to collapse and before Inuyasha even realized it he was moving forward, absently slipping his hand inside the smaller bag he’d grabbed to set his tentative plan in motion.

“Sou, you’re gonna rip Mama’s shirt if you keep doing that,” Kagome murmured and once again gently stopped him from trying to crawl inside it. “I don’t feel like flashing everybody here if that’s okay with you.”

Souji screeched his protest and Kagome winced, fearing that after this she’d be partially deaf. Sure he’d had his tantrums before, but never like this. She hadn’t even known his voice could reach that pitch, and if it hurt her ears, she couldn’t even imagine what it was doing to his. Then again, he did keep them pinned down most of the time, and he was upset enough where he was ignoring all her attempts to calm him down, so perhaps he wasn’t even aware of it.

“Shh, Sou, it’s okay, Mama’s here,” she soothed for the nth time, kissing his forehead and rocking him in her arms, or as much as she could while sitting. “Mama’s got you, you’re safe, it’s alright…”

Her baby boy continued to cry, obvious, and Kagome’s heart broke a little more. God, she hated this, hated that she couldn’t figure out what he needed, hated that her son was so upset he was having trouble breathing, and she hated how useless she was. She felt like the world’s worst mother and tears pricked her eyes, but she stubbornly held them back. Now was not the time for that. She needed to be strong for her baby, she needed to be there for him. And no doubt he would smell her tears and become even more upset and she really wanted to avoid that.

Feeling helpless, Kagome started humming his favorite lullaby under her breathe as she rubbed his ears, but paused when she glanced up and saw the approaching figure. She sighed and shook her head in a wordless plea for him to keep his distance, vaguely registering that this was someone new she hadn’t seen before, with a lean build, broad shoulders, and long silver hair that hung over his shoulder in a loose ponytail. It didn’t matter, though; man or woman, human or demon, Souji always reacted the same and made it clear that they were not to be touched. She was positive this time would be no different.

As predicated, Souji started growling when he registered the new, unfamiliar scent that was drawing ever closer and when he was close enough Kagome opened her mouth to warn him. But then to her surprise, instead of getting too close and immediately trying to cajole Souji into compliance, the man stopped a few feet away and slowly lowered himself into a crouch before them.

Kagome blinked. Eyes the color of whiskey regarded her steadily before his head dipped in a slight nod and bemused, she returned it. His gaze flicked to the child in her lap and he seemed to be waiting for something, not moving, his posture relaxed, expression giving nothing away. If Kagome had bothered to look up at that moment she would have seen nearly everyone present was watching them but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the admittedly very attractive man in front of her who, she belatedly realized, must be an EMT judging by his attire.

Souji’s growling steadily grew in volume until, when the scent did not move away like anticipated, he spun around in Kagome’s arms and snarled at the newcomer, his little face screwed up and baring mini fangs. The man was unfazed, calm in the face of her infant son’s righteous fury and since he wasn’t in the vicinity of tiny claws, Souji merely continued to glare at him.

Though not exactly a very good tradeoff for his constant howling, the reprieve was nonetheless welcomed and Kagome was sure she was not the only one giving a soft sigh of relief.

Evidently having been waiting for Souji’s attention, the man braced one knee on the ground, propped his elbow on his opposite thigh, and then did something that Kagome’s exhausted brain was having a very difficult time processing.

He brought his hand up, reached into his uniform shirt pocket, and…brought out a…glowing red ball of light?

The results were instantaneous and so confounded by how the hell he did that, Kagome didn’t realize until a solid ten seconds later that Souji had gone quiet. His growls had stopped, he wasn’t snarling, and he wasn’t attempting to lash out of the man. Utterly captivated, his blue eyes were fixated on the red light grasped between the EMT’s clawed fingertips and Kagome could only gape at him in astonishment. Part of her was actually a little insulted that it had been that easy to gain his attention, but the much larger part of her was just plain glad he’d stopped screaming.

Satisfied he’d gained the pup’s undivided attention, Inuyasha resisted the urge to grin in amusement as he started “tossing” the red light back and forth from one hand to the other, those blue eyes following every move. Relieved his plan seemed to be working, he put on a little show for his two-person audience, making the light disappear and reappear, and he’d be lying it he said the look on the kid’s face was completely endearing.

So was the woman’s for that matter, but that was something to dwell on later.

Alright, on to part two now. Allowing one side of his mouth to quirk up into a half-grin, Inuyasha brought his hand to his mouth and pretended to swallow the red light before splaying out his hands, showing it was gone. The kid made a sound of confusion and blinked. Flicking a brief glance at the pup’s mom, Inuyasha lifted his hand and removed his hat, revealing the twin ears atop his head.

She gasped but he didn’t look at her again as he flicked his ear a few times for effect, tilted his head, and gave a few solid taps to his temple as if to empty his ears of water. He lifted his other hand to his ear and the red light reappeared between his fingers, as if he’d plucked it from his ear. The kid’s face lit up in delight and he caught the soft giggle of the woman before him.

Inuyasha dared to inch a little closer and when the child did not react, his eyes zeroed in on his hands, he edged closer until he was kneeling right in front of him. He never paused in his little magic trick, tossing the light and catching it again in his fingers, changing it up at times by putting the light in his fist and then opening it only to reveal it had vanished. He “ate” it a few more times, only for it to reappear on some random point on his body, and it wasn’t until the fear in the pup’s scent had significantly decreased that Inuyasha decided to take it a little further.

The next time he pretended to swallow the light, instead of plucking it off of his body, Inuyasha very slowly reached forward and grasped it out of thin air beside the pup’s head. He actually giggled that time and Inuyasha released the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, giving a quiet chuckle as he caught the gaze of the woman behind the child.

She was smiling at him, big brown eyes bright, and he detected a trace amount of salt as she mouthed, “Thank you.”

Inuyasha swallowed thickly and felt his face grow a little warm as he nodded once, his stupid heart doing stupid little palpitation in his chest, and he returned his attention to the task at hand. The light appeared once again and he was surprised when the kid actually reached for it and amused, but grateful, Inuyasha held still and waited until little fingers curled around his own.

It disappeared and Inuyasha held his hands out as he rumbled, “Where’d it go?”

The pup blinked at him and pointed to his ear. Inuyasha obliged and reached for an ear not unlike his own, gasping softly when the light reappeared in his fingers.

“Found it,” he said and received a happy giggle before tiny hands went to grab it again.  It vanished, and he plucked it from under the babe’s chin this time.

Delighted, great blue eyes swung around to regard his mother with a big grin and Kagome couldn’t help but release a choked laugh and lean forward to kiss his forehead. God, she couldn’t thank this wonderful, beautiful man enough.

Inuyasha blew on his fingers and the light vanished. The toddler laughed and pointed to his nose. The older half-demon chuckled and plucked it off the tiny nose that time before boldly reaching for a small hand and placing the magic light onto the chubby little palm.

He held his hands up and said, “Throw it at me, bud.”

Blue eyes blinked at him but the Souji grinned and he waved his entire arm in an approximation of a toss.

“Whoa,” Inuyasha exaggerated, rearing back onto his heels and pretending as if the throw had a lot of force behind it. The kid laughed and bounced in his mother’s lap, utterly delighted. He held out his hand again and the silver-haired medical technician put the red light onto the small hand.

Immediately Souji smashed his hand against his mouth and Inuyasha gasped in faux outrage.

“Did you eat it?” he asked and was rewarded with joyful baby giggles. “Well then, I guess I have no choice but to…”

With a crooked grin, Inuyasha darted his hand out, tickled the pup’s round little tummy, and as the sound of his laughter rang into the night, he withdrew his hand with the magic red light grasped between his fingers.

Souji made the most adorable little “o” face and put both of his small hands over his belly, blue eyes wide as he stared down at it in astonishment. Then he whipped his head around to stare up at his mother in wide-eyed wonder and Kagome couldn’t help but laugh.

The toddler turned his attention back to the EMT in time to watch him put the red light in one pocket of his uniform slacks, only to bring it right back out of the opposite pocket with his other hand. He did this several more times, much to Souji’s giggling pleasure, before one hand up to his mouth and blowing on his fingers.

As he predicted, the kid gasped and started looking around, as if he would find the vanishing light floating about in the air somewhere. Flicking a glance at the woman behind the pup, Inuyasha wasn’t expecting to find her already staring at him, her eyes soft, her smile small but warm and totally grateful. The urge that slammed into him then was so strong and abrupt Inuyasha didn’t even think to fight it, his lips quirked upward slightly as he reached toward her.

Keeping his eyes locked on hers, he heard her soft gasp as he brushed his claws against her cheek, snapped his fingers beside her ear, then withdrew his hand with the red light glowing anew between clawed digits.

Absurdly Kagome felt her face heat in a soft blush even as a delighted smile blossomed across her face. In her lap Souji made a questioning noise and suddenly started squirming around until he was facing her. He pushed to his feet, balancing on her thighs, and Kagome’s hands automatically went to his waist to steady him as his hands reached for her ear and started inspecting it, his face utterly bemused as little sounds of confusion escaped him.

Inuyasha chuckled at the sight and figuring that was enough tricks for now since he still needed to examine his mom’s injuries – that cut on her forehead was especially concerning – he pocketed the fake fingertips and sat back to watch the two for a minute. Despite how clearly exhausted she looked, her patience was evidently limitless as she allowed her son to poke and prod around her head.

But then when he caught himself on her shoulders as he teetered a little on her lap, she gasped and then hissed through her teeth as her face scrunched up in involuntary reaction to the pain. Souji froze as his eyes went wide and as if he felt her pain as clearly as she did, his eyes started tearing up and he whimpered, his little hands fisting in her shirt.

Inuyasha’s eyes widened and they flew to Kagome’s. She was staring at him too, her eyes just as wide, and they knew if they didn’t do something fast Souji was going to go into another screaming fit.

Fuck. Fuck. Wracking his brain, Inuyasha darted his eyes to the pup, who was sitting on her lap now and putting even more tears in her shirt with his claws as he tugged at the fabric. Kagome grunted as she shifted him on her lap to alleviate his weight against her bruised flesh and Inuyasha went with the first idea that popped into his brain.

As Souji’s whimpering became louder, he flashed his eyes to Kagome and urgently mouthed, “Name?”

“Souji,” she immediately whispered back and started rocking her son in an attempt to stall his hysterics, wincing when his claws scratched at her skin through her shirt.

“Souji,” Inuyasha repeated aloud and much to his surprise the pup actually went quiet and turned around to stare at him, most likely perplexed as to how this stranger knew his name.

Encouraged, Inuyasha tried to appear as unintimidating as possible as he continued, “You know your mama is hurting, right? Do you want her to feel better?”

Souji blinked those great blue eyes at him and then nodded, his bottom lip trembling as more fat tears leaked from his eyes and another whine echoed in his throat.

Inuyasha nodded in what he hoped was in a reassuring fashion and cajoled, “Okay, champ, that’s good. Now listen up, I know how to make her feel better. I can treat your mom’s hurts and take the pain away, but in order to do that, I need you to let go of her and come to me, alright? Your mom needs help, and I want to give it to her. You understand?”

There was no way to tell if Souji did indeed understand what he was saying or if he didn’t as Inuyasha watched him, heart in his throat. The young half-demon frowned at him as if he was digesting the words, turning them over in his head, but at least he wasn’t on the verge of another break down which, in Inuyasha’s book, was a success.

Biting his lip, Souji turned his gaze to his mother and stared wide-eyed up at her, uncertainty and a smidgen of fright in those clear blue depths of his. Kagome’s heart ached and she smiled down at him, ignoring the ache in her side and shoulders as she gathered her baby boy closer and kissed him between his ears.

“It’s okay, baby,” she told him gently, rubbing one of his ears and then kissing his pudgy little cheek. “You can trust him, okay? He’s going to help me feel all better and take away all my hurts. Remember when Mama took care of you when you were sick last month? He’s gonna do the same thing, Sou.”

Souji blinked, furrowed his brow, then glanced back at the older half-demon, still a little uncertain. Could this stranger really make his Mama feel better? He remembered when his tummy hurt a while ago and Mama took care of him and made him some soup and crackers and rubbed his ears to make him feel better. This man would do the same?

The pup was still struggling a little on whether or not to trust him so Inuyasha gave him a little nudge in the right direction, slyly slipping his hand back into his pocket.

“You can trust me, squirt,” he rumbled and withdrew his hand to reveal his fingers alight with a familiar red glow. “I have magic fingers, remember? I promise I’ll make her feel better.”

The kid’s eyes grew wide once again as his gaze zeroed on in the clawed fingers. That’s right; he was magic! Then that meant he could make Mama feel better if he had magic hands. Right?

He looked at his mama again and when all she did was smile down at him with a little nod of encouragement, Souji made up his mind. His mama would never lie to him and he did want her to feel better. And besides…this man was different than the other people who tried to take him away from her.

He smelled like him, so he had to be good. Right?

Nodding and giving a little sniffle, Souji finally nodded back and slowly crawled off his mother’s lap. Relieved, Kagome helped him down, keeping her hands beneath his arms in case he slipped and when his tiny socked feet finally hit the cold pavement, she took a moment to rub his ear and run a hand through his hair, so very proud of her little boy.

“There’s my big boy,” she said softly, contrary to her thoughts.

Sniffling again, Souji wrinkled his nose and turned toward the other half-demon, hesitating before taking small steps over to him.

Breathing a sigh of relief and exchanging a quick thankful look with Kagome, Inuyasha offered a crooked grin at the kid and gestured him a little closer. Even though he was a half-demon like himself, he’d still feel better, and no doubt so would his mother, if he performed a brief exam just in case.

“Atta boy,” Inuyasha praised when the kid stopped in front of him and he reached up to ruffle his hair. The twin ears, just a shade lighter than the black hair, flicked in response and then he was rewarded with a soft, watery giggle.

“Thanks for trusting me, Souji,” he went on and reached down to tug his medical bag closer. “Do you mind if I ask you a few questions first before I treat your mom?”

Souji wrinkled his nose and looked back at his mother as if wanting her approval. Kagome nodded and gestured that it was alright, so the little half-demon sighed and turned back toward the older male before giving a nod.

Inuyasha had to smile a little at that. “Thanks, bud. I’ll be quick. I’m gonna use this”—he held up a standard stethoscope—”so I can listen to your lungs and see if there’s anything wrong. That okay?”

Souji nodded again. He recognized that weird smelling thing whenever Mama took him to the get-better man.

“It’s gonna be a little cold,” he warned and with swift movements, Inuyasha placed the eartips into his ears before lifting up the hem of his shirt a little and pressing the diaphragm against the pup’s small chest. Souji squirmed a little at the cold steel but nonetheless stood there and allowed him to listen to his lungs.

“Everything sounds good,” Inuyasha announced a few minutes later and caught Kagome’s gaze over his patient’s shoulder. She was looking at him like he was her hero, eyes bright, the biggest, most grateful smile on her face and he could practically hear the sincerity in the two words as she mouthed to him, “Thank you.”

Inuyasha’s face softened even as a lump developed in his throat and he nodded once.

Putting the stethoscope back into his bag, the silver-haired medic started gently inspecting his arms and legs for scrapes or bruises as he asked, “Do you hurt anywhere? Your head? Ears? Feet?”

Souji wordlessly shook his head and bit his lip, unable to stop from wriggling beneath the older half-demon’s professional touch. He didn’t like people touching him, but he had to be a good boy so Mama could feel better. This was all for Mama, because he had to protect her, right?

“Do you feel sick? Does your stomach hurt?” Another negative. “Do you feel dizzy? Like you can’t see straight?” Souji once more shook his head, his young face open and honest.

Satisfied, Inuyasha nodded and pulled his hands away. “Good. Now, I have one last question.”

Souji cocked his head and blinked.

Inuyasha grinned. “Are you hungry?”

At that, Souji visibly perked up, ears swiveling forward, eyes going wide, and he put his hands over his tummy as if just now realizing he was indeed hungry.

The older half-demon took that as a yes and he chuckled a little then gestured him forward a little. Souji inched a little closer and Inuyasha placed his hand on the kid’s back as he directed his gaze over to a slightly confused, but smiling Kaede.

“See that woman over there, the short one with gray hair?” he asked and pointed across the way toward his boss. Souji stared blankly for a moment and then nodded. “She’s got some snacks for you along with some juice if you’re thirsty. Don’t worry, you can trust Kaede. She’s my friend and she’s also here to take care of your mom, alright?”

Souji was clearly hesitate though, despite the quiet rumbling in his tummy, and his ears flattened as he looked uncertainly between the nice man that smelled like him and the old lady he was pointing too before finally settling his gaze on his mom, needing a little guidance.

And even though her head was pounding, her side was aching, and her shoulder was burning, Kagome managed a warm smile for her little boy. Though it was slightly strained – something that Inuyasha did not fail to notice – it was completely genuine.

“It’s alright, Sou,” she encouraged, sounding tired but nonetheless sincere. “Go ahead. I know it’s late and you aren’t allowed snacks this time of night, but just this once is okay. Bring me back some juice, yeah?” She winked at him and was finally rewarded with her son’s brilliant smile.

Excited at the prospect of a snack so late at night, Souji nodded and with one last glance at Inuyasha, who quirked him an encouraging grin, he brushed by and headed toward the old woman, confident that the man would take care of his mama like he said he would. After all, he smelled like him and his ears were the same as his so he couldn’t be a bad person.

Kaede, already knowing what her half-demon subordinate was up to, gestured to one of the EMTs still lingering to fetch the bag of snacks she kept in her car for just this purpose. She knew it had been the right decision to call him in. Despite his constant gripes about being bad with children, he always proved himself wrong whenever it came to calming down a child and it was a sight she never got tired of. She was certain that the little boy being a half-demon like the EMT was definitely in his favor as well.

It was merely a bonus, she supposed with a sly little smile, that the boy’s mother was single and attractive to boot.

Chuckling to herself, Kaede thanked the young medic that handed over her bag full of treats and sweets and then told him, along with the rest of them still milling about, to either head back to the station and wait for another call. She was fairly certain Inuyasha could take things from here, and sneaking a glance over toward the two adults as the boy finally approached with wide blue eyes and cute little ears, she smiled.

Yes, she thought, kneeling down to Souji’s height with a warm smile. Calling Inuyasha in had been a very good idea.

Two pairs of eyes, one caramel colored and the other a rich honey hue, watched him toddle away, matching looks of relief on both of their faces. When the two-year-old reached the woman Inuyasha had pointed out to him, they both looked at one another and the smile she gave him had Inuyasha’s heart doing double time in his chest as his stomach did not so unpleasant flip-flops.

“I know I sound like a broken record at this point,” she began, her eyes suspiciously bright, “but I honestly can’t thank you enough. For your little show, stopping his crying, and looking him over even though he’s half-demon. So just…thank you.”

Inuyasha felt his cheeks warm and he shrugged, trying to play it off as he picked his hat off the ground and shoved it back on his head.

“It’s nothing,” he mumbled, although he couldn’t stop the little curl to his mouth a he picked up his bag and scooted a bit closer to her. “Just doing my job.”

“So calming down hysterical and terrified toddlers with magic tricks is in your job description?” Kagome teased and she was a little caught off guard by the slightly roguish grin the medic sent her.

“Keh. It worked, didn’t it?” he asked, not exactly sure where this confidence was coming from but not about to squander it. Not with the way she was smiling at him with a little blush on her cheeks and looking absolutely beautiful.

Inuyasha paused. Here she was, shirt nearly in tatters because of her son’s claws, hair a disheveled mess, face a little pale, bags under her eyes, and dried blood on her forehead from a cut and he thought she was beautiful.

Fuck. He was done for.

“I can’t argue with that,” she said, drawing him out of his musings and he focused his attention back on her. “I have to admit, even I was a little captivated. It was a neat trick.”

She giggled and good god could she get any fucking cuter.

“Oh good, because the real reason I do that particular trick is to reel in pretty mom’s with blue-eyed half-demon sons,” Inuyasha shamelessly flirted because fuck it, he was already one toe in dangerous waters he’d only ever attempted to swim in once before; why not just dunk his whole fucking body in in one go and get it over with because at this rate she’d have him on his knees before the night was over.

Crouching next to her now, Inuyasha watched in proud amusement as her pale face turned a deep, becoming shade of scarlet as those dark eyes widened with delighted realization. The corners of her lips twitched upward and she bit her lip, ducking her head a little shyly, but not once did she take her gaze off of his.

Yup. Totally, absolutely, wonderfully done for.

His eyes softened and he murmured, “What’s your name?”

“Kagome,” she replied right away, so trusting, so goddamn beautiful and god fuck she was pretty.

“Kagome,” he repeated and slid his arms beneath her body. She gasped and her arms automatically went around his neck. “I’m Inuyasha.”

Without preamble he stood with her in his arms, his medical bag slung over his shoulder even though he wouldn’t need it, and ignoring the knowing look he just knew his boss was casting him right now, he strode over to the idle ambulance with the open back doors and hopped inside.

“Better light and more convenient,” he explained as he carefully set her on the stretcher. “Plus it’s got better equipment and medical supplies than my bag does. And I think Kaede mentioned something about a possible sprained ankle?”

Kagome’s expression cleared and she nodded, flexing said ankle as if to test it and she winced at the twinge of pain that shot through it.

Silently the handsome golden-eyed medic started poking around the limited space of the vehicle, collecting the supplies required to treat her injuries and managing to find some painkillers along with bottle of water while rummaging about.

“I’m gonna start with that cut on your forehead since head injuries are top priority,” he announced and sank down on the cushioned seat provided for the medics before reaching over and tugging the gurney closer to him.

“Then if you’re alright with it, I’ll examine any contusions, determine if you have any fractured or bruised ribs, and take a look at your shoulder and ankle.”

Kagome gasped a little and curled her hands around the railing beneath her knees. He chuckled and gave the bed one final tug until her knees were between his spread legs. Perhaps the position was a little scandalous, but he needed a good look at that cut to determine if it needed stitches or not after he cleaned it.

“Sorry,” he murmured and received a smile in response. “I probably should have asked this before, but better late than never. Are you dizzy or lightheaded at all? Nauseas? Ringing in your ears? Any disorientation or confusion?”

Kagome took a moment to do a mental inspection of her body, but besides the general feeling of exhaustion and soreness, she otherwise felt fine and told him as much.

Relieved, Inuyasha offered her the painkillers and water for the no doubt pounding headache she had and she gratefully knocked them back with a swig of water. While she did that, he ripped open an alcohol swap and debated on whether or not to use gloves, but decided against it. His claws would just slice the latex, anyway.

He waited until his patient had had her fill of the cool refreshing liquid before muttering a word of warning for the sting and carefully started cleaning the cut on her forehead. Kagome hissed and flinched a little at the anticipated sting, but remained still so he could treat it with minimal difficulty, breathing deeply as she fisted her hands around the cold steel of the railing beneath her.

Inuyasha saw the strain on her face and his ears flattened against his head, feeling guilty, but knowing it was necessary. The more he cleaned it, though, the more apparent it became that she probably wasn’t going to need stitches so at least that was a bit of good news he was more than happy to share. This had no doubt already been the night from hell for her and he didn’t want to make it even worse.

“Good news is,” he said and used a fresh cotton swap to dab some antiseptic on it, “you don’t need stitches. It’s minor and should fully heal in a week or so.”

Kagome sighed, relieved. “And the bad news?”

Inuyasha’s mouth quirked. “It’ll probably leave a bit of a scar, but hey. It’ll look pretty badass, in my opinion. A battle scar.”

Kagome blinked and then snorted a laugh at that. “Something to tell the grandkids about?”

“Yeah, but lie and say you got it fighting a dragon.”

She outright laughed at that and Inuyasha grinned, thoroughly proud of himself. At least he seemed to have distracted her from any pain she might be feeling.

Then her laughter slowly turned into a groan as she wrapped an arm around her middle and bent over a little, however she was still smiling while shaking her head.

Grimacing, feeling a little guilty for indirectly being the cause of her pain, Inuyasha snatched a gauze pad and the medical tape, hoping she hadn’t fractured any ribs and they were merely bruised.

“You alright?” he asked once she straightened up, her face once again pale with lines of pain bracketing her mouth and eyes.

“Yeah,” she answered a little breathlessly and winced as she rubbed her chest, where the seat belt had dug into her skin when she’d been thrown forward. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he immediately said and reached up to brush her bangs away. “My fault for making you laugh. Can you breathe okay? One to ten, how bad is the pain?”

While he carefully went about applying the bandage to her cut, Kagome closed her eyes and thought about his question, trying to rate the amount of pain she was in. Probably not counting her head and ankle, she ranked it to be about a seven or so.

“Maybe a seven,” she answered honestly, knowing it wouldn’t be a very good idea to lie about that sort of information. “It hurts to breathe a little, but only a dull ache. Probably from when I got thrown forward against the seat belt.”

“Thing probably saved your life,” Inuyasha told her, keeping his eyes focused on the task of securing the bandage. Satisfied, he dropped his gaze back to hers, a slight frown furrowing his brow, and Kagome gasped a little at the intensity in his eyes.

“I’m glad you were wearing it,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble, and butterflies rioted in her stomach as he brushed his knuckles against her skin, just below the fresh bandage he’d just applied.

Swallowing, Kagome said a little breathlessly, “Me, too,” and she watched with a little thrill as his gaze dropped to her mouth.

Kagome’s breath sped up a little and she licked her lips. Inuyasha’s gaze grew heavy-lidded and the growl that leaked past his lips did very pleasant things to her insides. But just as she was about to say screw it and lean forward, Inuyasha’s expression suddenly cleared, he grimaced, and leaned back, turning his head with a light flush on his cheeks.

Hoping the disappointment didn’t show on her face, Kagome sighed and ducked her head, biting down on her lip. Well, that had been dumb, and she felt a little foolish now. What had she been thinking, leaning in like that and hoping…

“I need to check if you have any fractured ribs,” Inuyasha stated in a voice huskier than he would have liked and he cleared his throat. Though he was still blushing a little, he didn’t look away from her eyes as he continued, “If that’s alright with you, anyway. I’ll understand if you’d rather I didn’t and if that’s the case, I can go get Kaede and she can do it.”

Kagome blinked as she tried to understand what he meant by that, but then realization dawned and her eyes winded a little, her flush deepening at the thought of where his hands would be on her. But Inuyasha was a professional and she trusted him. Besides, Kaede was keeping Souji occupied, and she didn’t want her son to see the extent of the damage on her body.

Clearing her throat, Kagome managed a wan smile and responded, “No, it’s…okay. Go ahead, Inuyasha. I trust you.”

Inuyasha’s eyes widened at that and his ears perked straight up beneath his hat. Something warm and wonderful bloomed in his chest and the corners of his mouth quirked up slightly, those three simple words meaning more to him than she could ever know.

“Thanks,” he murmured as without being told, Kagome lifted her shirt to expose her belly and ribs while still keeping her modestly covered. “I’ll be quick, I promise.”

Kagome smiled wordlessly and he leveled a quick grin at her before getting to work.

The first thing Kagome noticed was that his hands were warm and calloused, not at all unpleasant against her skin, and she almost missed it when he told her to take a deep breath because she was so focused on his touch. Inuyasha frowned, then withdrew one hand to take his hat off, dropping it to the ground before replacing it on her ribs and repeating his request for her to take a deep breath.

She did, her eyes trained on those adorable ears of his so much like her son’s, only a lovely sterling instead of black, and she winced a little when her chest protested the action. Inuyasha was still frowning as he moved his hands up and down her ribs and she breathed deep once more without being told. Again her sore body protested the movement, but it was bearable.

“Well,” he said after a moment and removed his hands from her, trying very hard not to think about how soft and smooth her skin had been. “I don’t think you have any cracked ribs, but there’s some definite bruising. I can’t tell for sure without an x-ray, and I’m assuming since you weren’t immediately whisked away to one when the ambulance got here that a hospital is out of the question.”

Kagome grimaced, but nodded. “With the way Souji was acting, it would have been a very bad idea. It probably would have just made the situation even worse.”

Inuyasha sighed and nodded as he raked his claws through his bangs. “You’re probably right. I do recommend it, though. Preferably as soon as you’re able.”

Kagome nodded in understanding. “Of course. Just…not tonight.” She smiled a little apologetically and he had to return it with his own lopsided grin.

“Nah,” he murmured, eyes soft. “I get it. As long as you can breathe fine, then there’s no urgency.” He nodded to her shoulder then. “Let me see?”

Wordlessly Kagome tugged the collar of her shirt over enough so the skin of her left shoulder was visible. Her eyes widened because this was the first she’d seen of the extent of the damage. No doubt caused from the seat belt, the wound was an angry, bright red stretch of skin that extended down to the top of her breast where the color changed to an array of yellow and purple. A few places had scabbed over where there had been open scrapes, and all in all in looked very painful. No wonder it had hurt so much when Souji had caught himself on her shoulders.

Inuyasha whistled low, drawing her attention, and she watched as he grimaced and very, very gingerly brushed his thumb over the bruised skin.

“Fuck, baby,” he murmured and Kagome blinked at the unexpected endearment but it seemed as if he hadn’t even realized what he’d called her, his eyes focused on her shoulder. “That thing really did a number on you.”

Kagome sighed and gave a tired, wry smile. “A small price to pay if it means I’m still here.”

His eyes flashed to hers and for the second time Kagome’s breath caught in her throat, her heart stalling, warmth blooming in her stomach, in her chest. Her lips parted and for the second time that gloriously honeyed gaze dropped to her mouth, making the blood rush in her veins as more butterflies took off in her belly. Inuyasha was the one to lean in this time, his hand sliding from her shoulder along her arm, claws gently grazing her skin and feeling her shiver beneath his touch.

He growled, Kagome sighed—and then a familiar and very unwelcome scent reached his nose right then and Inuyasha forced himself to lean away with a short growl of irritation, ears pinned against his head. Kagome blinked at him, confused and unable to hide the flash of hurt in her eyes as she sat back. Inuyasha cursed and opened his mouth to explain—

“Mama!”

Gasping, face dark red, Kagome spun around, and then groaned when her sore body protested, arm going around her middle as she muttered, “S-Sou?”

Sighing, Inuyasha leveled an annoyed glare at the old woman that stood before the open ambulance doors, one eyebrow lifted and a knowing little smirk on her face while Souji clambered up into the vehicle to be with his mother.

Recovering quickly, though with a strained smile, Kagome nonetheless accepted her son’s weight in her lap when he crawled onto it and shoved a juice box under her nose. She smothered him in kisses and hugs before taking the offered beverage and setting it aside for now, not particularly in the mood for some juice despite having asked him to bring her one.

While Inuyasha sighed and studiously ignored his boss still watching him with that damn smirk, he hunted down an ace bandage for her ankle since there wasn’t much that could be done for her side or shoulder except let them heal on their own.

“Thank you,” Kagome said and a quick glance revealed she was addressing Kaede with a grateful smile. “For watching him so Inuyasha can treat my injuries without a fussy toddler to distract him. I hope he wasn’t too much trouble and behaved himself.”

Smiling warmly at the young woman, Kaede shook her head and said, “Oh, not at all, my dear. Your boy was perfectly behaved and he was very pleasant company. I did my best to distract him for as long as I could, but I suppose his concern for mom came back after his third mini bag of animal crackers because he ran over here before I could stop him.”

“Three bags?” Kagome repeated with a little smile and poked her son’s belly. Souji giggled and tried to shove her hand away. “You little piggy.”

“No!” Souji protested through his giggles and shook his head with a grin.

Despite his initial irritation at having been interrupted, Inuyasha had to smile a little at the sight. Kid was cute; he had to admit that, at least to himself.

“Thanks, boss,” Inuyasha said loudly, drawing the old woman’s attention. “I got it from here. Can you take care of the paperwork for me? I still need to wrap Kagome’s ankle and take care of a few things.”

Kaede raised an eyebrow and that damned knowing smile was back, but thankfully she said nothing and simply nodded.

“Of course, Inuyasha,” she said, trying not to laugh. “You can have the next few days off too, since you came tonight despite having just ended your shift.”

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes at her. “Sure,” he said slowly, knowing she was up to something, but not sure what.

Her one gray eye twinkled as she smiled at him then turned her gaze toward the mother and child, her expression softening.

“Kagome, was it?” she asked and said woman nodded. “My name is Kaede, dear. While usually I would say it has been a pleasure, I’m sure this night has been anything but for you, hm?”

Kagome sighed and smiled wryly, the exhaustion evident in her eyes and the lines on her pale face. Absently she ran a hand through Souji’s hair, who had settled down and was cuddled up against her chest, the long and eventful night finally catching up with him as a big yawn escaped his mouth.

Kaede’s heart went out to the poor girl and her child and she was glad she had Inuyasha to help her through such a hellish night. He was a good man with a good head on his shoulders; she knew she was in good hands and would be well taken care of.

“Make sure to get plenty of rest, dear,” she told her and Kagome nodded with a grateful smile. “You too, Souji, though it seems you’re already half way there.”

Blinking at the old woman drowsily, Souji grunted then burrowed his head into his mother’s good shoulder, his arms going around her neck with a gusty sigh.

Kaede chuckled and with one last glance at the clearly impatient half-demon that was still pegging her with an annoyed glare, she turned and headed back to wrap things up with the police. Kagome and Souji were in good hands; she wasn’t worried.

Shaking his head and grumbling under his breath, Inuyasha turned toward Kagome and discovered that Souji had more or less passed out in her lap, his breaths deep and even. Kagome was smiling gently down at him, all the love in her eyes as she kissed his head and rocked him slowly back and forth, stroking his hair and back like a loving mother would to her child.

Inuyasha’s heart melted and he suddenly wanted very, very badly to be a part of their cozy little duo.

But then reality slammed into him hard and he ducked his head to hide his grimace, ears flattening against his head as he fiddled with the rolled up ace bandage in his hand. What the hell was wrong with him—she’d literally just met him an hour prior, and he doubted dating was anywhere close on her mind on such on a shitty night. Plus, and he couldn’t believe he hadn’t even thought of this before, making him inwardly curse himself for his earlier attempt to kiss her, there was also the very real possibility that she was unavailable. Hell, she had a fucking kid; the father could be waiting at home for her, though if that was the case he wasn’t sure why the guy wasn’t here by now. Wouldn’t she have contacted him?

Beneath his hat, his ears perked just a little. Then again, she hadn’t mentioned anything about the kid’s old man, and maybe it was just wishful thinking, but he could have sworn she’d leaned in earlier like she wanted to kiss him before he foolishly pulled away, so…maybe not?

He flicked a hopeful glance at mother and child, took in the tiny ears on top of Souji’s head, and the hopes promptly came crashing back down. Souji was a half-demon, which meant the father was a full demon.

Why go for half when she could have full.

Inuyasha bit back a groan and dragged a hand down his face. Dammit, he was reading too far into this. She was his patient, for god’s sake, he had no right to—

“Inuyasha?”

Startled out of his thoughts by the soft inquisitive voice, Inuyasha jerked his head up and his gaze collided with dark, beautiful depths filled with concern, delicate eyebrows dipped down into a small frown.

“Hey,” she said, offering a little smile. “Are you okay? I lost you for a second there.”

Inuyasha blinked at her choice of words and the instinctive response of “You’ll never lose me, Kagome” was right on the tip of his tongue but then he remembered himself and shook his head. Fucking hell.

“Yeah, uh, no,” he said, frowning at his own words and tried again. “I’m fine, Kagome. Sorry. Didn’t mean to space out on ya.”

Her smile broadened. “No need to be sorry. It’s been a weird night, huh?” She chuckled a little and Inuyasha couldn’t help but level a crooked grin at her.

“Yeah,” he agreed then held up the forgotten ace bandage in his hand. “Which ankle is bothering you? I’ll check it out and wrap up so you can finally call it a night and head home.”

“That sounds heavenly,” Kagome said with a sigh and lifted her right foot. “This one. Please tell me it’s not broken.”

Inuyasha only tossed her a wry grin before very carefully pulling off her slip-on shoe and cradling her bare foot in his hands. She winced a little when he turned it over as he inspected and she shook her head at his muttered apologies.

“Can you pin point the pain for me?” he asked and leaned forward to tenderly touch her fingertips to the soft part of her ankle, just a little above the bone. There was some mild swelling and she could still flex her ankle slightly, but not without pain.

“You’re in luck,” Inuyasha said after a minute and shifted forward to prop her foot on his knee while he prepared to wrap bandage around it. “Looks like it’s just a mild sprain, but you should still keep your weight off of it as much as you can.”

Kagome laughed dryly and at his inquisitive look, she raised her brows and remarked, “It’s hard to stay off your feet when you’re a single mother with a hyper-active two-year-old.”

Despite himself Inuyasha felt the hope bloom warm and wonderful in his chest again and he really hoped the excitement didn’t show on his face. She was single. She was single. The dad wasn’t in the picture, fuck yes!

Wow, you fucking idiot, can you be any more insensitive? To hide the shameful blush that colored his face, Inuyasha ducked his head and focused on wrapping her ankle. For all he knew, something tragic could have happened and she might still be recovering. Jumping to conclusions would not only be foolish, but inconsiderate to her as well, and he needed to stay in her good graces if he ever wanted to have a chance with her.

And he wanted. God, did he ever.

“Is there anyone that would be willing to stay with you for a while? Friends? Family?” Inuyasha only flicked her a brief glance before turning his gaze back to his task, not wanting to make the wrap too tight or uncomfortable.

Kagome wrinkled her nose and adjusted Souji in her arms, wincing when her shoulder protested the movement.

“Mama and Gramps are both retired and don’t have the energy to chase after a toddler like they used to, and my brother is away at college. And the only friend I really have is…well, he’s not really…a good candidate for babysitting.”

Inuyasha paused to quirk a brow up at her, a wordless inquiry.

Kagome sighed and her voice was dry. “Let’s just say that Miroku is more interested in the baby making process than actually raising one.”

The silver-haired medic snorted and continued his work, passing under the arch of her foot and around her ankle one last time before gently securing the end via the strong Velcro attached to it.

“How’s that?” he asked, sitting back and inspecting his handiwork. “Not too tight?”

Flexing her foot a bit, Kagome smiled and nodded in approval. “Feels perfect. You’re really good at that; I remember whenever I hurt my ankle when I still lived at home Mama always made it too tight or too loose so I had to fix it myself.”

Inuyasha shrugged off the compliment, though inwardly his ego was inflating to twice its normal size.

“It’s my job,” he remarked and started putting everything back where he’d found it. “Be a pretty shitty EMT if I couldn’t do something I was specifically trained for.”

A soft laugh reached his ears. “I suppose you’re right.”

They lapsed into comfortable silence, and since the driver for this damn thing was still nowhere in sight, Inuyasha decided to give voice to a curiosity that refused to leave him alone and really, really hoped he wouldn’t regret it.

“So, uh,” he began, frowning down at the plastic bin of bandages in his hand as he tried to think of how to phrase it without sounding like an opportunistic asshole. He slid the bin back home to its proper place in one of the cabinets and tried to make himself look busy, avoiding her curious gaze.

“Pup’s father. Is he, uh, is he still around? Why isn’t he here?”

As soon as the words left his mouth Inuyasha wanted to slam his head against the nearest hard surface. Smooth, asshole. Real smooth.

Too busy beating himself up, he missed the little smile that curled Kagome’s mouth as she watched him. Honestly she’d been waiting for him to ask that question. She’d purposely hinted earlier that she was unattached by saying she was a single mother and he hadn’t seemed to really take the bait, so she was glad he took the initiative this time and asked. She’d thought about dropping another hint, but didn’t want to seem too desperate.

“Do you remember how Souji was acting earlier?” she asked by way of reply. “Growling, sort of aggressive and wouldn’t let anyone come near me?”

Not expecting that, Inuyasha turned toward her, the confusion evident on his face. But then he frowned and nodded, prompting Kagome to continue.

“Last year his father and I got into a screaming match that got out of hand and he punched me in the face. Souji saw it happen. I left him and ever since that day Souji has been extremely protective of me and he’s very distrustful of strangers, especially men.”

She looked down at the slumbering boy in her arms and her expression softened, her smile turning sad as she kissed his little brow.

“My fierce little warrior,” Kagome murmured, smoothing back his hair before glancing back at the handsome medic. Inuyasha was frowning at her but she could see the concern in his eyes with a hint of anger simmering just beneath the surface and she had to smile. He was angry because of what had happened to her, even though it had happened a year ago, and she thought that was incredibly sweet.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Inuyasha said, his voice a low rumble and his gaze intense, sincere as he stared into her eyes. “I’m sorry Souji has such a shitty sperm donor, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to deck the son of a bitch myself for hitting you. Women are meant to be protected. Cherished…loved. Never hurt.”

Kagome didn’t know what to say to that so she said nothing, eyes locked on his and heart in her throat.

Another moment of silence passed as the two of them simply gazed at one another, the air between them charged, heavy with something both of them didn’t quite understand, but then Inuyasha sighed and racked a hand through his hair, shaking his head. Kagome blushed and cleared her throat, dropping her gaze to watch her son’s face, relaxed in sleep.

“So you’re telling me a full demon punched you in the face and he didn’t knock you the fuck out?” Inuyasha quite tactlessly asked, a puzzled frown creasing his brow.

“I saw it coming and managed to dodge at the last second so he only glanced my cheek and temple,” Kagome readily answered, grateful for the subject change if only to calm the rabid beating of her heart. “I smacked my head against the kitchen counter as I went down and I was dizzy for a few minutes, but it passed and I was able to grab Sou and get the hell out of there. I haven’t seen him since.”

“So you have full custody,” Inuyasha assumed.

Kagome nodded and heaved another sigh. “Yes. But even if I didn’t and it was shared, I still wouldn’t see hide nor hair of him.”

Inuyasha’s eyebrows rose at that. “You mean the asshole has no interest in his own son?”

Kagome closed her eyes and the smile that curled her lips was so incredibly sad Inuyasha had to fight against the urge to take her into his arms.

“Souji is the reason why we were arguing that day,” she explained, eyes fluttering open to regard her baby boy the way only a loving mother ever could. “When I told Kouga that I was pregnant, he told me to get rid of it. He didn’t want a half-breed to be related to him in any way, shape, or form, regardless if it was his own offspring or not. I didn’t, of course, and our relationship deteriorated after that. I know I should have left him that day, but part of me hoped…”

She trailed off with a sigh and idly ran a hand through Souji’s dark hair. The toddler stirred slightly and grunted softly in his sleep, but settled down soon after, going still with a quiet sigh. Kagome kissed his head, so overcome with love for her brave, beautiful little boy.

“At the risk of sounding completely selfish and maybe even a bit like an asshole,” Inuyasha began, drawing Kagome’s gaze back to him and he stubbornly refused to look away despite his face heating.

“I’m…sorta glad it happened. I mean not that he punched you of course, I would never—because you’re here now and—ah, fuck.”

Groaning, Inuyasha dropped his head in his hands and willed himself to just fucking turn into a ghost so he could phase into the goddamn ground or some shit but then the sound of soft laughter reached his ears and he dared at a glance at his beautiful patient. Judging by the hand over her mouth, she’d tried to stifle her mirth and failed but even if she’d succeeded, the amusement in her eyes would have tipped him off easily and despite himself Inuyasha felt himself grinning in return.

“Me, too,” Kagome whispered, lowering her hand to reveal a soft, beautiful smile and fuck, what he would give to have her look at him like that all the damn time.

Inuyasha opened his mouth to say something, anything as long as she’d keep looking at him like that, but then she suddenly yawned and he remembered where they were. She blinked and then gave a sheepish smile and shrugged.

Chuckling, Inuyasha pulled out his phone and checked the time. “Two AM,” he supplied and tucked it back in his pocket. “Things are wrapping up here anyway, so how about we call it a night and get you two home?”

The thought of her bed was nearly enough to make her weep. “That sounds like the best idea I’ve heard all night,” Kagome replied and shifted Souji in her arms again. Her shoulder twinged in protest and she hissed through her teeth.

“Um, can you do me a favor?”

Inuyasha crossed his arms and cocked a brow at her, waiting.

“Could you get his car seat for me, please? My shoulder is starting to really hurt for holding him for so long.” She tossed him a pleading smile and he was helpless but to obey.

He deliberated for only a second, casting a brief glance at the child in her arms before surprising her by saying, “I’ll do it.”

She blinked. “What?”

Shrugging, though not without a slight flush on his cheeks, Inuyasha turned his gaze away and repeated, “I’ll put him in it. I mean if you don’t mind. It’ll save you from having to lift your arm if it’s hurting you that much.”

Both of her brows lifted into her bangs and she tilted her head. “Do you know how?”

Inuyasha frowned and looked offended.

Immediately Kagome winced and shook her head, a flush darkening her face. 

“Sorry, that was rude,” she murmured and received a grunt in response. “I was just surprised, is all. I didn’t mean to insinuate anything.”

He grumbled but nodded and Kagome somehow knew he wasn’t really upset over it. Still, she leveled him with an apologetic smile and adjusted Souji in her arms to make the transfer easier.

“Please,” she entreated softly and the wind was abruptly blown right out of his sails.

Relaxing, Inuyasha wordlessly bent down to carefully take the slumbering child from her arms and cradle him in his own. Souji didn’t stir and Kagome watched as the handsome medic who had taken such good care of them tonight stepped off the ambulance and crossed the scant distance to the car seat sitting on the ground. The sight of him slowly settling her baby boy in and checking to make sure everything was secure warmed her heart in ways she hadn’t felt for over two years now. It made her think that maybe, just maybe…that missing piece of her heart, the part that Kouga had viciously destroyed with his actions and carelessness of his own son, could be replaced with a new, much stronger piece to make it whole again.

And that piece had golden eyes, a fanged grin, and two adorable silver dog ears so much like her little Souji’s.

Kagome was just thinking that maybe this night wasn’t as bad as she thought it was when Inuyasha returned and gingerly set her son’s car seat with sleeping toddler cradled within on the ambulance floor before hopping back up into it.

With a rumbled word of warning, he slipped his hands beneath her and easily lifted her up into his arms, only to hop back to the ground a minute later and set her beside her son.

“Sit tight,” he said and before he could stop himself he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’ll bring my truck around since I can’t carry you both at the same time with him in that thing.”

“You’re gonna take me home?” Kagome questioned, surprised, but undoubtedly pleased.

He leveled her with a look and quipped, “You really think I was gonna make you walk home with a bum ankle and a toddler?”

Kagome offered him a sheepish smile. Neither of them pointed out that she could just catch a ride with one of the cops still hanging around for whatever reason.

Rolling his eyes, Inuyasha shook his head and walked away, grumbling under his breath about silly wenches and dumb questions, Kagome’s soft laugher following after him.

Fifteen minutes later Inuyasha had his two patients bundled into his truck with the still snoozing Souji secured in the backseat of the crew cab and Kagome beside him in the passenger’s seat. Despite it being a rather mild night, she was wearing his leather jacket that had been lying on the floor in the back, the EMT claiming that he hadn’t wanted her to get sick on top of everything else she’d endured tonight. Kagome had simply smiled and tugged the garment closer against her and Inuyasha had delighted in the fetching shade of scarlet that colored her cheeks.

The ride to Kagome’s apartment was spent in comfortable silence but that had more to do with Kagome being dog-tired than not having the need to fill the quiet with soft chatter. Inuyasha let her doze with her head resting against the widow and he was content to steal brief glances at her during the short commute. Souji hadn’t stirred once strapped into the back and the half-demon doubted the pup would wake any time before 7 am, possibly later since he’d had a long night.

Parking in front of the address Kagome had given him, Inuyasha put his truck in park then cut the engine before turning his attention to his lovely passenger. She hadn’t stirred, and he hated to wake her up, but he needed to get them both inside so they could get some proper rest.

“Kagome,” he murmured and reached over to gently nudge her awake. “We’re here. Kagome?”

She murmured and frowned, but otherwise ignored him and he chuckled. Shaking his head, he unbuckled his seatbelt and shifted his hand to tenderly cup her cheek, sweeping his thumb across the softness of her skin.

“C’mon, baby,” he rumbled and was gratified to see caramel eyes flutter open to blink drowsily at him. “Let’s get you and Sou inside so you can get some sleep in a real bed. Doubt you’d be very comfortable out here all night.”

Blinking once more before wrinkling her nose in the most adorable way, Kagome offered a small, sleepy smile and gave a slight nod. She yawned and Inuyasha hopped out to retrieve Souji still passed out in his car seat. The older half-demon was a little surprised the pup didn’t wake even once as he carefully scooped him up into his arms, figuring he’d just come back for the car seat after he’d settle the two of them inside. Instead Souji merely sighed, snuggled against his chest, and Inuyasha’s heart about damn near exploded with affection for the kid.

It was astounding, and maybe a little frightening, how badly he wanted these two in his life, and he hoped to god that Kagome would allow him to see them again after tonight.

Keeping the sleeping toddler secured against him with one arm, Inuyasha helped Kagome down with his other arm tight around her waist and he effortlessly bore most of her weight as he led them down the short sidewalk to her front door. He didn’t like how she’d left her door unlocked, but after her explanation of how she’d planned on coming right back after a short drive to get Souji to sleep, he accepted it with a soft grunt and more or less carried the both of them inside her cozy little apartment.

Reluctantly he released Kagome and she took her son from his arms before tossing him a quick smile and turning to no doubt put him to bed. Inuyasha watched her go, frowning at her limp, but forced himself to remain where he was. She needed to stay off of her ankle for it to get better, but he couldn’t very well tuck in her son for her. While he wouldn’t have minded, he didn’t want to impose, and they had just met, after all.

He also didn’t like the thought of her staying here alone with no one around to help and he thought about asking her if it was alright for him to stay, but again he didn’t want to be weird or make her uncomfortable. They were practically strangers and despite the strangely overpowering need to care for and protect the both of them, he didn’t want her to think he had an ulterior motive or the paramedic side of him wanted to ensure she would be alright.

No, it went much deeper than that. But he didn’t want to scare her or freak her out, so he’d force himself to back off unless she outright told him she wanted him around. Or hell, he’d even take a very obvious hint that was impossible to ignore. He didn’t want this to be the last time he saw her, or the kid, and he desperately hoped the feeling was mutual.

Kagome came limping back down the hallway after closing Souji’s door most of the way and instantly Inuyasha diverted all of his attention on her. She looked utterly drained as she gimped her way over to him, however she still managed to muster up a smile for him and his heart ached.

Inuyasha closed the remaining distance between them and wordlessly scooped her back up into his arms. Kagome’s exhaustion was evident in the way she didn’t even gasp, merely releasing a quiet sigh as he strode down the hallway and followed his nose to Kagome’s bedroom. He set her down on the bed and knelt before her so he could carefully remove her shoes for her. He checked her bandage while he was at it, making sure it was good and secure before resting his hands on her knees and lifting his gaze to hers.

“Thank you,” she whispered and he knew it wasn’t just for taking off her shoes.

“I wish I could do more,” he confessed, eyebrows dipping into a slight frown. “I don’t like the thought of you being here by yourself. Are you sure there’s nobody you can call? I’m sure even your friend Miroku wouldn’t mind helping out if you told him what happened.”

Kagome stared at him, warmth blossoming in her chest. Somebody must be really looking out for her up there to introduce her to such an amazing, caring man like Inuyasha. Granted, she could have definitely done without the circumstances in which they met, but, well…beggars can’t be choosers and all that.

“It’s sweet of you to worry,” Kagome began, lifting a hand to cup his cheek and she smiled when he unabashedly leaned into her touch. “But I promise I’ll be okay. Souji will no doubt crawl into bed with me sometime during the night and wake me up when he’s hungry. After he eats something he’ll probably go back to sleep and I’ll be able to stay off my ankle, if not catch a little more shuteye myself.”

Inuyasha still didn’t look happy, but he finally conceded with a sigh and a nod. “Can I at least leave my number with you so you can text me if you need help? Just for my own peace of mind. Please.”

Boldly he reached up, dragged his claws against the soft skin of her jaw and caught a strand of ebony hair between his fingers. He kept his gaze on hers as he brushed his knuckles against her cheek and he heard the way the breath hitched in her throat. Inuyasha fought back a grin and tenderly tucked the lock of dark silk behind her ear.

Biting her lip, Kagome didn’t give herself time to think as she dropped her hand to grab the lapel of his uniform shirt, fingers curling into the fabric to keep him close. Inuyasha didn’t move, didn’t even dare to breathe as she smiled and peered at him from beneath twin fans of midnight lashes.

“You could,” she murmured, her smile widening just a bit. “Or…you could stop by tomorrow morning and we could maybe talk over coffee and pancakes. If you want.”

Abruptly the breath left Inuyasha’s lungs in a relieved whoosh of air and he nodded, eyes going hooded as he slipped his hand into her hair.

“Yeah,” he said, voice husky. “I want.”

“Yeah?” Kagome repeated, eyes bright, lips curving up even further in obvious delight.

Inuyasha nodded again, gaze fastened to her mouth, and that time Kagome sighed. Her hand tightened on his shirt, refusing to let go, or maybe she was unable to. She couldn’t tell, not with the way Inuyasha was staring at her. Or more accurately her mouth and unconsciously she swallowed, lips parting on a stuttered breath.

“Okay,” he muttered. “Alright. Good.”

“Good.”

They stared at each other, saying nothing, her hand gripping his shirt, his in her hair, and Inuyasha was fighting desperately to keep himself where he was, to not give in no matter how bad he wanted to. He couldn’t take advantage of her like that, he couldn’t risk destroying the trust she had so graciously given him—

She breathed his name, the softest of whispers falling from her lips, and Inuyasha’s control shattered.

“Aw, to hell with it,” he muttered right before surging up and claiming her mouth in the passionate kiss he’d been wanting to give her all damned night.

Immediately Kagome responded, both hands gripping his shirt now as Inuyasha braced his knee on the bed beside her and wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her from falling as he leaned over her. He nipped her lips and she parted them with a gasp that turned into a whimper as he deepened the kiss, greedy for her taste. Despite the hunger ravaging in his gut, however, he kept his kiss gentle, his mouth moving over hers in a hot, sensual dance that she eagerly reciprocated with flicks of her tongue and gentle nips.

He growled and with his hand cupping the back of her head, fingers tangled in her hair, Inuyasha pulled back only to press a series of hot, lingering kisses to her mouth but it wasn’t long before he was unable to keep himself from going in for a much longer, deeper taste once more. Her breathy laugh turned into a moan and he would have smirked in arrogant pride had he had the higher brain function to do so.

Several heated seconds later, Inuyasha finally pulled back to allow them both to breathe and he rested his forehead against her own as they panted for breath.

“I’ve been wanting to do that all night,” Inuyasha admitted in a low rumble that sent pleasant tingles down Kagome’s spine.

“Funny,” she whispered. “I’ve been wanting you to do that all night, too.”

He chuckled and couldn’t help but to brush one last lingering kiss across her smiling lips.

“Get some sleep,” he entreated against her lips. “And I’ll see you later.”

“Okay,” she sighed and gave him a sleepy, but genuine smile. “Good night, Inuyasha. Thank you for…everything.”

Inuyasha smiled at her and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Anytime,” he husked. “Good night, baby. Sleep well.”

He helped her get settled into bed and wasn’t surprised that she was out as soon as her head hit the pillow. Inuyasha sighed, kissed her brow one more time, and then quietly stole out of her bedroom to let her sleep. Before he even thought about what he was doing, and almost like it was second nature, he checked on Souji who was still fast sleep in his little toddler bed before making sure all the lights were off and ensuring her door was locked when he finally left a few minutes later.

Just as she’d predicted, Kagome woke up just a little after 7 am to the feeling little hands on her face. She opened bleary eyes to find her son hovering over her, wee hands on her cheeks and blinking owlishly down at her. The biggest, sunniest grin split his cherubic face when he saw that she was finally awake and he patted her cheeks with a happiness only a child could have after only going to sleep a few hours before and getting up at what the fraaaaack o’clock in the morning.

Tiny fingers grabbed her nose and Kagome sighed even as a tired smile lifted the corners of her lips.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Kagome murmured and then released a yawn. “It’s too early for your shenanigans, Sou.”

“Mama,” Souji said by way of reply as his mother levered herself upright with a groan. God, she hurt everywhere. Her entire body was sore, not just her torso and shoulder. Not surprising, considering what she’d went through last night, but still.

Ow.

With a soft grunt, Kagome very, very slowly wriggled around until she managed to get her feet on the floor, her sore body protesting every movement. Obviously any pain meds she’d taken last night had worn off by now and her ankle throbbed in protest when she put a little weight on it. Kagome winced and dragged a hand down her face. God, today was going to suck.

But at least she had something to look forward to, Kagome mused to herself, a little smile lighting her face as she remembered they were going to have a visitor that morning. Which meant she needed to get her ass in gear, take a much-needed shower, and feed her hungry toddler.

Souji wedged himself between her knees and stared up at her with worried blue eyes.

“Hurt?” he asked and very gently patted her knee as if the barest touch would cause crippling pain.

Kagome sighed and smiled for her little boy, running a hand through his dark hair and tweaking his ears.

“Yes,” she admitted. “But I’ll be fine, baby. It’s only a little hurt”—lie—“and I’ll feel better once I take a nice hot shower and get some food in our tummies.” She poked his belly and was relieved to see the smile bloom across his face.

“Puffs,” he said and darted for the kitchen.

“Puffs it is,” Kagome murmured and taking a deep breath, she braced her hands on the mattress and slowly pushed herself to her feet. There was pain, but it was tolerable, and she tried to keep as little weight on her bad ankle as she could as she hobbled her way to the kitchen to pour her two-year-old a bowl of Cocoa Puffs cereal.

Even though she wanted nothing more than to sleep all day to let her weary, banged up body recover, being a single mother made that very tempting option unavailable So, despite being slow and muttering curses under her breath every few minutes, Kagome provided her boy with his coveted diabetes-on-a-bowl disguised as sugary chocolate cereal and then went about making herself a cup of much-needed coffee.

After two cups and by the time Souji had finished his second bowl, Kagome was starting to feel human again and since her son had wandered off into the living room to watch cartoons, Kagome seized this chance to take a shower. She knew Souji would pass out soon after on the couch so she wouldn’t have to worry about him for a few hours, or at least until Inuyasha arrived.

The thought of the handsome medical technician brought a flush to Kagome’s cheeks and warmth to flood her entire body. She couldn’t wait to see him again and she wondered if he was as excited about it as she. She could only hope, and the giggle that bubbled up in her throat as she hobbled into the bathroom was girlish and completely involuntary.

Half an hour later Kagome was showered, dressed, and feeling much more like herself, if not still a little tired, but she supposed that was to be expected. The pain meds she’d taken with her coffee had dulled the pain in her ankle, side, and shoulder, and she was grateful because the pain would make whipping up some breakfast much more difficult.

Unsurprisingly Souji was passed out cold in the most ridiculous position on the couch while Paw Patrol played on the television and Kagome left him be to start breakfast. She had no idea when Inuyasha would show up and she wanted to have something made up by then.

Unfortunately, she didn’t get very far before her phone started ringing and Kagome whipped her head around to stare at the device. It was still on the counter where she’d left it last night before venturing out for a drive with Sou and she sighed because she had an idea as to who it could be. And lo and behold, when she picked it up, “Mama” flashed across the screen.

Kagome grimaced, braced herself, and answered.

The conversation with her mother went as expected. Evidently someone from the accident scene last night had captured a brief video snippet of Inuyasha performing his little magic show for Souji and her mother had seen it circulating on social media. Asako explained that she recognized her own daughter and grandson in the video and Kagome managed to calm her down enough to enlighten the older woman what had happened. Several times she had to assure her mother that she and Souji were both fine and probably sometime later that day they were both going to go to the hospital to get an official checkup and an x-ray for Kagome’s ankle and ribs.

Of course, her mother being her mother, wanted to come over and help with Souji while Kagome focused on recovering, but the younger woman managed to convince her that she didn’t need to make the drive just for a likely sprained ankle. She might have put in the little white lie that Miroku would be stopping by later and it was enough to pacify Asako into agreeing.

It wasn’t really a surprise that seconds after hanging up with her mother, her phone beeped with a text message from Miroku but she really didn’t have the energy to put up with him right now so she ignored it and went about preparing breakfast.

In hindsight, she really should have replied to that message.

It was about a quarter after nine when the doorbell rang and instantly butterflies took off in Kagome’s belly from a combination of nerves and excited anticipation. Still, though, it was impossible to hold back the brilliant smile that spread across her flour-dusted face as she shuffled as fast as she could to the front door, heart pounding in her chest as she quickly unlocked it and whipped it open. God, but it was embarrassing how much she’d missed him—

“What the hell are you doing here?” Kagome asked, her radiant expression instantly dropping to one of horror.

Kouga didn’t answer and instantly zeroed in on the bandage on her forehead, blue eyes narrowing as a sense of unease roiled in his gut. So the stupid human hadn’t been lying, then. Least he was good for something other than grabbing ass.

“I don’t want you here,” Kagome hissed after recovering from the shock of seeing her ex out of nowhere. “Leave. Now.”

Stone-faced, she grabbed the door and started to close it in his face, but Kouga wedged his foot into the threshold and prevented it. Kagome glowered at him and tired again, but Kouga pushed his way inside, forcing her to stumble backward and nearly crumple to the floor as her ankle was forced to bear her weight. She gasped as pain ricocheted up her entire leg and she would have fallen backward had it not been for her ex grabbing her wrist and hauling her back up.

“What the fuck, Kagome,” Kouga growled and darted his gaze down to her feet, snarling when she saw she was favoring her right one. “Were you really in a goddamn accident last night and didn’t fucking tell me?”

Regaining her bearings and her balance, Kagome yanked her wrist out of his grip and stumbled backward with a scowl, dark eyes flashing with a mixture of pain and anger.

“Why the hell would I tell you anything?” she snapped, flicking her gaze toward the living room and hoping like hell Souji would remain asleep. “We’re not together anymore, Kouga, or don’t you remember when you punched me in the face?”

Crossing her arms, Kagome simply glared at him, giving up on getting him to leave because she knew in her current state there was shit all she could do. Even if she were at peak physical health, he was still ten times stronger than she and he never let her forget it, either.

To her surprise, Kouga actually looked regretful as he winced and thrust a hand through his bangs. His hair was up in its usual ponytail, but it looked as if he’d dressed in haste, donned in a simple t-shirt and loose sweatpants he wore when jogging. Oh please; don’t tell her he was actually worried?

“C’mon, Kagome, you know I hate it when you bring that up,” he muttered, having the audacity to actually look embarrassed. “I said I was sorry and it’ll never happen again. It’s been a year, can’t we just forget about it and—”

“You and I both know it’s far more than just a punch to the face, Kouga,” Kagome murmured, face tight with pain and old fury that bubbled up to the surface at his sudden reappearance. How the hell had he even found out, anyway? As far as she knew he wasn’t on social media and her mother would never reach out to him after what happened last year.

Kouga tensed and clenched his jaw, cobalt eyes going hard and cold as steel. Evidently his opinion hadn’t changed about half-demon’s and the old scar he’d left on her heart ached.

Deciding now wasn't the time or place to revisit that particular topic, Kagome sighed roughly and leveled him with a suspicious glare.

“How did you even find out, anyway? I know my mother didn’t tell you.” She arched an expectant brow.

Kouga snorted. “Of course she didn’t,” he confirmed. “It was that perverted friend of yours, Miro-whatever. At least he had the sense to—”

Tuning out the rest of whatever he was going on about, Kagome snapped her gaze around to land on her discarded phone still lying on the counter and the color drained from her face when realization dawned. Oooh, that complete and utter moron! That asshole! She was going to throttle him when she saw him next!

“Ooooh, I’ll kill him,” she hissed, glaring with such vehemence at her phone it was a wonder it didn’t burst into flames right there on her counter.

“—good thing he did because you can’t be staying here alone in your condition, you could fall and hurt yourself even worse—”

“Shut up, Kouga,” Kagome cut him off and the wolf-demon was so startled by her cold tone he actually did. “I have no idea why Miroku would ever contact you because it’s literally none of your business what happens to me or Souji because we are no longer together. I haven’t talked to you in a year, and I liked it that way, so now I want you to leave before my son wakes up and sees you. We’ve both had a very long night and he does not need the stress of your presence after what he went through last night. So get out. I’ll be talking with Miroku to make sure he never contacts you again.”

Arms tight across her chest, dark eyes stern and lips in a flat, thin line, Kagome stared him down and didn’t even flinch at the low growl her ex-boyfriend emitted.

“Like hell I’m leaving here without you,” Kouga growled, his eyes twin pools of blue fire as he stalked forward and reached for her arm. “I don’t care what you say, you can’t be alone—”

“So you’re the asshole sperm donor Kagome told me about, huh.”

While Kouga stiffened and slowly turned around with a dark scowl on his face, relief swept through Kagome and the smile that split her face was grateful and positively radiant.

“Inuyasha,” she breathed and Kouga sneered, crossing his arms as he took in the unwanted newcomer.

Leaning against the door jamb, a paper bag tucked under his arm and holding a cardboard drink holder with two coffees in it, Inuyasha looked unimpressed as he returned the once over before shifting his gaze to the woman behind the wolf. Kagome looked infinitely glad to see him, relief swimming in those dark eyes of hers, and his expression softened. Damn, he’d missed her.

“Who the fuck are you?”

Inuyasha ignored the question and kept his gaze on Kagome.

“You alright?” The sperm donor was blocking most of his view, but from what he could tell she seemed alright. His nose told him Souji was napping in the living room and he was glad for that. From what Kagome had told him, the pup didn’t need to see his father here and have a repeat of what happened last night. Poor kid already went through hell.

“I’m fine,” she assured him and stepped around her ex to take the bag and drinks from him. “I was in the middle of making breakfast, but now I suppose I don’t have to. Smells absolutely divine.”

The most delicious smell of muffins and honeybuns were coming from the paper bag and her stomach growled in agreement.

“I thought about taking you two out for breakfast,” he admitted a little sheepishly with a shrug. “But then figured you wouldn’t really wanna go anywhere considering what happened.” He paused. “How you feeling, by the way?”

Shuffling over to the bar counter and completely ignoring the increasingly pissed off wolf-demon, Kagome deposited their breakfast onto the surface and went about collecting some plates.

“Sore, obviously,” she told him. “But it’s tolerable. It still hurts to walk on my ankle, and I had to take the bandage off so I could shower, so if you wouldn’t mind wrapping it again—”

“I asked you a question, asshole,” Kouga interrupted their pleasant little conversation, stepping up and inserting himself right in front of the half-breed’s vision so he was forced to look at him. “Who are you and how do you know Kagome?”

Immediately Inuyasha’s expression changed from warm pleasantness to cold and flinty as he finally looked at the fucker in front of him that had so rudely interrupted his conversation with Kagome. The wolf was attempting to pull off a pathetic intimidating act by snarling in his face and baring his fangs while glaring balefully at him, a steady growl leaking past his clenched teeth.

Inuyasha stared at him for a beat before saying curtly, “I don’t think that’s any of your business, wolfshit. Matter of fact, you don’t have any business being here so why don’t you do us a favor and get lost because Kagome clearly doesn’t want you here, and you know what, neither do I. Your stench is already giving me a headache. There’s the door. I hope it hits you on your way out.”

With that, the half-demon roughly shoved his way past the other male and made his way over to Kagome who had silently watched the exchanged with a worried frown.

Kouga was having none of that, though, and spun around with a snarl to reach out and dig his claws into the mongrel’s shoulder.

“Listen asshole, I don’t know who the fuck you think you are—”

Inuyasha reacted so fast his movements were a blur. He spun around and in the same movement threw his arm above Kouga’s head before jerking it down hard against his back to dislodge the wolf’s grip on his shoulder. Kouga grunted but could do nothing as the next second the half-demon forced his body to turn and then with a swift kick, swept his feet out from under him. He landed on the floor with a grunt and a scowling half-demon glaring down at him.

“I know where very major artery is on your pathetic, weak little body, wolfshit,” Inuyasha growled and narrowed his eyes in lethal warning. “Touch me or her again and my claws just might slip. Comprende?”

While Kouga grumbled and glowered up at him as he pushed himself to his feet, behind him Kagome was feeling quite flushed at having witnessed the hanyou display a very effective self-defense skill and she had to resist the urge to fan herself.

Good lord, but why had that been so hot? Not to mention that threat if he touched her again.

God, Kagome mused, pressing a hand over her wildly beating heart. Take me now.

Scoffing in the face of the half-breed’s anger and threat, Kouga rolled his shoulders and leveled another scowl at him. If he thought he was just going to—

“Shit.”

Inuyasha’s ear flicked behind him at the muttered curse and a familiar scent told him the reason of Kagome’s sudden apprehension. Instantly schooling his expression, he shifted amber eyes toward the living room and found sleepy blue eyes blinking at the three adults. His black hair was a mess and he’d managed to kick off his pants sometime during his nap.

“Hey, bud,” Inuyasha greeted the toddler with a grin, not even sparing the sperm donor another glance. “Remember me?” He wiggled his clawed fingers and raised his eyebrows.

Souji, sleepy mind still trying to register what he was seeing, blinked and settled his gaze on the older male. He sniffed a few times, tilted his head, and wrinkled his nose.

“Magic man,” he said and gave a toothy grin.

Inuyasha’s face softened. “That’s right,” he affirmed. “The magic man. You hungry? I got some tasty muffins and honeybuns that I’m sure you’d like.”

“He shouldn’t be,” Kagome opined, hobbling over to stand beside him and beckoning her son over with a smile and a wave. “He had two bowls of Cocoa Puffs before his nap.”

“Lucky,” Inuyasha commented with another grin. “My mom only lets me have one bowl.”

Kagome snorted a laugh and covered her mouth, but Souji was too busy staring at Kouga to react. His ears were pinned, his little face was scrunched up and Inuyasha couldn’t tell if it was because he was scared or agitated at his father’s unwanted presence.

Shit. Acting fast, and without thinking twice, Inuyasha crossed the distance between them and abruptly scooped the kid up into his arms. Surprisingly, and thankfully, Souji let the older half-demon carry him and fisted a tiny hand in his shirt as Inuyasha crossed back over to Kagome, who was smiling and had suspiciously bright eyes.

“Chock?” Souji asked and it took him a minute to figure out what he was requesting.

“I’m pretty sure I got chocolate muffin for you, champ,” he said and watched the kid’s face light up in delight. It was true; he did have a chocolate muffin that he’d gotten for himself, but he’d give it to Souji in a heartbeat if that’s what he wanted.

Tired of being ignored, Kouga growled and stalked forward again, refusing to let this mutt get the upper hand here. If anyone should leave, it should be the half-breed, dammit!

“Goddammit, I’m not done—”

“Hey Souji,” Inuyasha interrupted the wolf’s tirade loudly and big blue eyes stared up at him questioningly. “Wanna see a magic trick?”

The tot’s eyes widened and he nodded, remembering the magic he’d showed last night with the red light and his fingers. There was more?!

Wordlessly Inuyasha handed the kid over to his mother and at Kagome’s puzzled frown, he merely grinned and winked before spinning around to face the red-faced wolf-demon. Grabbing a pencil that he assumed Kagome used when making grocery lists, he promptly stabbed the pointed end into the counter with enough force to make it stand upright and he mentally apologized to Kagome for ruining the surface. Kouga paid it no mind and stormed forward, growling low while Inuyasha casually rounded the counter to meet him head on.

“I’m gonna make this pencil disappear,” he announced jovially just as Kouga reached him and with both Kagome and Souji’s wide-eyed gaze on him, Inuyasha promptly grabbed Kouga by the back of the head and slammed his face down hard onto the counter.

Kouga dropped to the floor with a groan as Inuyasha threw his hands up, gesturing to the counter now sans pencil.

“Ta da! It’s gone,” he announced and while Souji squealed in absolute delight and clapped his hands, Kagome gaped at him in disbelief. Where…where did—

Inuyasha reached into his pocket and procured the aforementioned pencil before carelessly tossing it onto the counter. Crossing his arms, he stared dispassionately at the writhing wolf-demon on the floor, clutching his nose with both hands and the scent of blood was prevalent as he groaned in pain.

“I won’t ask again,” Inuyasha growled, golden eyes hard and flashing with thinly veiled warning. “Now make like the fucking pencil and disappear before you really piss me off, wolfshit.”

Managing to heave himself to his feet, but still clutching his nose that hadn’t stopped bleeding, Kouga glared murderously at the half-breed mutt and then shifted his gaze to Kagome. He was expecting sympathy, maybe even a little anger on his behalf – the fucker broke his nose, dammit! – but instead what he got was complete and utter ignorance from his former flame. She dedicated her attention to the boy in her arms, setting him on the counter and reaching inside a paper bag to retrieve what looked like a chocolate muffin, not even sparing him a glance.

And just like that the fight left Kouga and he sighed, giving up. Fine, he could take a hint. He pinned the mutt with one last venomous glare before turning tail and finally leaving, closing the door behind him.

Inuyasha grunted. “Good riddance.”

“Rinse,” Souji repeated with a mouthful of chocolate muffin and Inuyasha turned around to face mother and son. The toddler had more muffin on him than in him and the older half-demon chuckled as he stopped forward to ruffle his hair.

“That’s right, runt,” he praised and then locked eyes with his mother, who stood a few feet away, arms crossed and staring at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Magic trick, hm?” Kagome drawled as he made his way over to her, trying to remain stern but unable to keep the smile off her face as Inuyasha snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her close.

He shrugged, unrepentant. “Souji liked it,” he defended and grinned down at her. “Hi.”

Kagome gave up and laughed, wrapping her own arms around his neck. “Good morn—”

His mouth cut off the rest of the greeting and Kagome melted against him, happily returning his kiss with a little hum of contentment.

“Sorry,” he rasped as he pulled back. “Couldn’t help myself.”

“Hmm,” Kagome murmured and pulled him back down for another one. Kagome felt his husky chuckle and smiled against his lips, tangling her hands in his hair and sighing in bliss as he nibbled the soft flesh of her bottom lip.

Several more kisses were exchanged, some sweet and slow, others deep and hot, until eventually Inuyasha figured it probably wasn’t he best idea to make out in front of her toddler son so he reluctantly pulled back with a sigh and contented himself by holding her in his arms. Kagome seemed perfectly happy to remain there as she watched her son sitting on the counter making a big mess with his muffin. He’d managed to get it on the floor too and she sighed. She wondered if she could persuade Inuyasha to clean it up while she gave the messy toddler a bath…

Her gaze suddenly landed on the pencil and she blinked.

“Hey,” she said and Inuyasha hummed in response. “How did you do that, by the way?”

“Do what?” He rose his eyebrows in question, but the corners of his lips twitched upward, belying his innocence.

She gave him a look and he smirked at her.

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” he rumbled and leaned forward to kiss the corner of her mouth.

“Oh, so you’re a magician now?” Kagome breathed, shuddering as he trailed kisses along her jaw.

“Obviously.” Inuyasha ran his hands up and down her sides, claws snagging the fabric of her thin t-shirt. “I mean I have magic fingers.”

He gave a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows as he said that Kagome couldn’t stop the snort-laugh from erupting from her throat even as a light blush stole across her cheeks.

“And speaking of,” he continued with a devilish glint in honey eyes. “Wanna see me do another magic trick?”

Kagome eyed him suspiciously. “Okay,” she agreed somewhat warily, curious despite herself.

“Alright,” Inuyasha said and nodded. “Now watch closely.”

Kagome blinked and stared at him. Inuyasha stared back and vaguely she was aware of his hand crawling up her back, the feeling of claws through her shirt sending shivers to crawl along the length of her spine.

“What am I supposed to be watching?” she whispered and Inuyasha merely grinned before leaning in to press a lingering kiss to her lips. She felt a slight pressure against her back, but paid it no mind, his kiss thoroughly distracting her.

Then he pulled away, released her from his arms, and that was when Kagome felt the tell-tale slackening of an unlatched bra and Kagome gasped as she immediately snapped up an arm to keep the garment in place.

The devil had just unhooked her bra! Through her shirt!

“Inuyasha,” Kagome squeaked, her face turning five shades of red as the wicked half-demon cackled and darted away, grabbing a happily squealing Souji and making his getaway.

“You—! How did you—?! Dammit, Inuyasha, get back here!”

With one arm pressed against her chest, Kagome took off after the pair of laughing half-demons, chasing them around her small apartment and it wasn’t long before she was laughing too.

“I told you!” Inuyasha shouted as he hopped the couch, grinning when Souji laughed in utter delight. “It’s magic!”

“Oh yeah, well watch as I magically shove my foot up your ass! Let’s see your magic solve that one, you mangy mutt!”

Inuyasha’s reply to that was to drop Souji safely onto the couch, catch his pursuer around the waist as she lunged at him, and then swoop her into a kiss and when Kagome wrapped her arms around his neck and immediately responded, it was warm, it was wonderful, it was…

Like magic.

#like magic #inukag #inuyasha #kagome #oneshot #keizfanfiction #fanfiction

[morganas-pendragons]

Best Carol/Melissa Episodes

So I got bored in Quarantine and I was so moved by Look At The Flowers that I decided to make this list of the best episodes that either feature Carol/Melissa as a lead or she plays a large part in them. I haven’t seen S1-2 since like... 2014 as they’re my least favorite (i know i’m sorry but i did include honorable mentions) but I’m so freaking proud that I couldn’t not make this list. Here we go! Feel free to add to them! ** means they’re my favorite performances of Melissa! I do mention some scenes that are also with Norman/Daryl as he is a LARGE part of who Carol is. If you think it’s ‘’shippy’’ which it might be, don't read it. I worked on this for almost two hours. 

season 1

- for real, what woman keeps a grenade on hand? That was it. That was where I started paying attention to her. 

- also, the scene where she digs the pickaxe into Ed’s head? I think Daryl and I both fell for her then. 

season 2 

- the honorable mention!! the barn scene in which carol learns the fate of her daughter. I don’t remember most of s2, but this one I do. I think this might’ve been the first point in the show where I was like, “Hey Google, how to protect someone who isn’t real.’’

season 3

- walk with me: We get to see how Carol has changed during her time on the road after the farm and how much she’s learned. This is also, unfortunately, the last time we see her for a couple episodes until Daryl finds her in the cells below. 

- hounded: daryl finds carol. It’s sweet, it’s warm and soft and there’s alot of reunions and alot of mourning over T-Dog and Lori. 

season 4

- Carol has become a leader in her own right for this season. She teaches the kids how to defend themselves during the ruse of a story time and takes on Lizzie and Mika as her own after Ryan is bit. 

- indifference: After killing Karen and David to stop the spread out a virus, Rick takes it into his own hands to banish Carol. This one hurts too because it’s quite obvious why she did it. She did it to protect herself and the people she loves, but sometimes that’s just not enough. 

- the grove: emmy emmy emmy emmy material. Holy crap, I CANNOT stress this enough! This is the make or break episode for Carol as a character. There’s beauty and devastation and anguish all wrapped up into 45 minutes. This should’ve made Melissa well known. This should’ve won her multiple awards, and it didn’t. But we know. We know. 

season 5 

- sanctuary: this one goes down in history for multiple reasons, and most of us know them. 1.) Caryl reunions galore. Even if you don’t ship it, that moment is so, so sweet. 2.) If it weren’t for Carol, your fave would be dead. That’s literally it. 

- consumed: OOF. Really. 

- The back half of season 5 after the arrival at Alexandria is hilarious to me. Because these people are so sheltered from the darkness and the cruelty of the outside world that Carol takes on their own persona to blend in with them, to know the naivety of these people and to hide easily among them to get what she needs. This is also how she befriends Sam, who probably reminds her of Sophia which is why she’s so cruel to him. 

season 6 

- jss**: ‘’Miss Peletier, you are an honest to goodness hero.” No. Freaking. Way.  I remember watching this episode and rocking back and forth on my heels in anticipation because up until this point, I think this might’ve been one of the bloodiest moments in the show - and right in the center of it all is Carol - who is now of the mindset that, ‘’hey, we need to kill, we don’t have a choice.’’ and she portrays the internal struggle behind all of this so, so well. The scene with Melissa holding the body on the stairs was what won me over for this episode. It’s very much a merciless 45 minutes. 

- no way out: Carol is not a lead in this episode, but Melissa is very heavily influenced between this one and the previous because of her confrontation with Morgan. I remember how angry that made me, having to watch him bodyslam her (a former domestic abuse victim) against the floor. Outside of Carol, this episode is one of my favorites in the show. 

- not tomorrow yet/the same boat**: Carol moreso plays a bigger part in the latter as opposed to the former, but these two episodes really showcase two things: Her heart to protect her family (IE: A now pregnant Maggie) and her deteriorating mental state. Outside of The Grove, I think this is one of Melissa’s most powerful performances. it’s also the only female led ep in the show  

- east**: I cried the first time I watched this. Carol vs The Saviors, #2. This episode breaks between Morgan and Rick going out to look for her (HENCE ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE QUOTES ABOUT CAROL: “That woman, she’s a force of nature.) I don’t think I really understood the power behind the eyes in the midst of television until I saw this episode. I can’t find the gif, but I’m sure most of you who’re reading this know what I’m talking about. 

- last day on earth**: again this episode shifts between perspectives as TF is trying to get Maggie to Hilltop for her pregnancy complication, but Melissa is stellar here. Carol doesn’t want to love because if she loves, she has to kill, and she attempts to manipulate one of the survivors from the massacre into doing what she can’t: taking her own life. She just wants to go, and Morgan won’t let her. This one is a bit darker, and the episode as a whole is not my favorite, but it’s definitely up there in my favorite performances for Melissa. 

season 7 

- the well: if there was ever an episode that would show you that Melissa aces comedy, it was this one. This is meant to be an introductory to The Kingdom, but the hilarity behind the way Carol talks to Ezekiel is so entertaining. It’s kind of hard to believe she ends up marrying the man (we’re not going into shipper discourse here, friends) but this one also shows you something through Carol’s eyes: The differences between people and walkers and her desire not to kill. She wants to hide, and she does. 

- new best friends: Daryl lies to Carol about what happened in the clearing with Negan. This one is so so heartfelt. It’s deeply intimate. It showcases two people who’d move heaven and earth to ensure the safety of the other, both physical and mental and emotional. Norman and Melissa aced this. I can’t say it more simply then that. 

- bury me here**: I love love love love love this episode. The entire thing is a metaphor, but I love it anyway. If I remember right, this is also the one where Morgan tells Carol about Glenn and Abraham. Remember what I said about the power behind a look? This is another instance in which Melissa shows she is the master of this. 

- carol spends alot of the time at the kingdom for the rest of the season and i cannot really remember any more memorable performances for this garbage, as they took my fave and reduced her to a side character for this and most of s8.

season 8 

- the only performance i will give any credit to in this season is 8x04, which is Some Guy. I barely remember the rest of it. Minus the moment where she finally saves a kid - Henry - instead of losing one. And a heartbreaking moment between her and Morgan that I also barely remember. Case in point, S8 was and still is garbage. 

season 9 

- 9x01-9x05 all have Carol in them because whenever Angela Kang took over the show, she had the brilliant idea to actually use her lead women as leads. Season 9 feels like an eternity ago and I can’t remember if she took over before or after AL signed off, but my point remains. Between Carol’s loyalty to Ezekiel because of Henry, (who she has now taken as her son), and their marriage, and her short stint as the leader of the Sanctuary as Negan is in confinement, there’s something in Carol here we haven’t seen in years. It’s something akin to peace, or as close as she’s gonna get to it. 9x03 and 9x04 (particularly the conversation b/t Rick and Carol) are my favorite of this cluster for her. 

- I almost dropped off after 9x05. I thought that was it, I thought that was gonna be where I ended. Nope. This woman - AK- took this show and made it what it had been and I’ll never be able to thank her enough for it. 

- Who Are You Now: I only remember this one because of the scene where Carol and Henry are in the carriage - side note: I really need to go back and rewatch this season again - but one of the things that caught my attention about the after of the bridge was how the relationships b/t parent and child are approached as significant. They’re not the future. The adults are building for the future of the kids. Michonne/Judith, Ezekiel/Henry and Carol/Henry. It’s sweet. Very sweet. 

- Stradivarius: this is a very Caryl heavy episode, but we find out something here: Even with being married to Ezekiel, Carol has still gone out to see Daryl where he resides by the same river that took Rick. Henry sees the relationship between him and his mother. It’s as obvious as the nose on your face. This one is just adorable. I love it. 

- The Calm Before**: Ow. OW OW OW OW OW. You want more pain? Here you go! Carol faces the dark truth as she crests the hill that holds her worst nightmare: Henry has died. She’s lost another kid. You wanna restrain yourself from breaking through the TV to comfort Carol for the umpteenth time as she breaks? Cool. That’s what you get here. 

- The Storm**: Split apart by the death of Henry, Carol and Ezekiel no longer remain married. She gives up that fairytale - one of the happiest she’d ever had - and begins wallowing in her suffering over the loss of her son. Heartbreak and grief do not come easily to her. They never have. Can you imagine being suffocated by things you’ve never talked about? Can you imagine having to live every day with your grief? Well, look here... that’s exactly what Carol does, and you want to know who her guiding force is? 

It’s Daryl. 

season 10 

- I remember when Season 10 aired, I watched the first episode in Kenya and loved it. I’d heard something about how PTSD was a BIG factor in the progression of the story throughout this season, and as someone who wants to go into mental health counseling, I was so intrigued by this that every single episode kept my eyes glued to the TV. Carol is the lead female now besides Michonne, but I’m gonna tell you every single favorite episode of mine anyway. 

- Ghosts: Carol makes a mistake and fires at Alpha when they meet her at the border. She wears a mask that’s so composed it’s almost hard to see the heartbreak beneath it, and that’s the point. She’s not considering her life. She’s considering vengeance for the life that was taken. This is a constant circle for her. Alot of people are tired of this arc and I get it, I do. But the difference between this one and the three seasons previous is that we’re meant to get to a resolution now. This episode broke my heart. Especially the last scene in the gym. 

- Bonds: Another Caryl heavy episode. I love this one. It’s very lighthearted compared to the rest of the season. 

- Open Your Eyes**: This one is utterly terrifying and eerily reminiscent of the one in S2 where Daryl interrogates Randall. Carol, having just brought back a Whisperer from her escapade with Daryl, interrogates him to find out the location of Alpha’s horde without any real consideration for the people around her. She also uses Lydia for her own personal gain, and I’m not gonna lie - Even though this one is one of my favorites because of Avi Nash (WHO WAS SUCH A GOOD ADDITION TO THE SHOW I LOVED HIM AS SIDDIQ) This episode made me so angry because of Carol’s motives. 

-  The World Before**: And when I said I was angry, this episode turned it all into heartbreak. This one remains one of my favorite of the show and of Carol for one very specific reason: The scene in the woods between her and Daryl. 

As someone who has never done grieving well, this scene hit me so. hard. She’s so set on this path of vengeance and blood that she’s neglecting a very real truth that she has never done well: talking about her burdens, talking about the pain and if she does that, if she acknowledges it, then she will hurt. 

- Squeeze: I don’t have to talk about this. I just have to show you. 

Ow. Please, please let her heal. I’m so tired of seeing her hurt. 

- 10x11 and 10x12 don’t really have Carol, and neither does 10x13, but she’s there. We see her a couple of times, we have a conversation or two. Let me get to the penultimate moment. One we’ve waited for years to see and which next week will give us the rest of. 

- LOOK AT THE FLOWERS*****: You can be a Carol fan for five minutes or five years and still somehow managed to love her MORE after watching this one. There’s a couple reasons why this one is probably in my top 3 for both Melissa and Carol as a whole. 

1. I have waited years to see Negan meet Carol. JDM has made it very clear how he feels about MMB and I knew, I knew, that once this interaction happened I would not be disappointed. I should’ve realized she was the one who let Negan out, but I didn’t. That entire first scene is gold. 

2. This entire episode is just.. art. The fact that Carol’s darker side takes the form of the being of her hatred - Alpha - is fitting, and it’s also the first time we’ve really gotten an actual dialogue about multiple things that have formed her character for the last several seasons: The Grove, the loss of Sophia, Ed... It’s heartbreaking to see because she keeps telling herself pushing people away is better, it’s better to be alone because there’s no one to burden, and the darker side of her asks a very simple question: What do you want? 

Her answer is clear, at least to her. I want to be alone. But the fact that the darker part of her, the one that keeps calling out on Connie, doesn’t agree. No. There’s something deeper. Something she’s too afraid to acknowledge. 

3. That whole final scene. Wow. I’ve watched it like four times because Samantha Morton is just so good as Alpha, as Carol’s dark counterpart, trying to mock and taunt her into doing the one thing she never was able to do herself: Dying. This episode is dark because of this realization. “Look at the flowers’’ is akin to ‘’It’ll all be over soon.” but instead of choosing death, instead  of choosing the one thing that would let it be over, she chooses life. She essentially chooses to fight for herself which she has not done in YEARS. The minute she acknowledges that it’s never too late (FOR WHAT?? HM??) the demons disappear. I think that this point into 10x15 will give us two things that every Carol fan is desperate for: Healing for Carol (FINALLY!), and a resolution to this endless arc of suffering. 

Also... Why do we think that Daryl is the one who ends up welcoming her home? Why is he the one who opens the gate? 

Long story short: I love this character. I love Melissa McBride as she is one of the most down-to-earth, humble and compassionate actresses in Hollywood. It’s a shame she’s not gonna be recognized by The Academy because if ever there was an actor/actress on this show to win, it’d be her. 

#Carol Peletier #Melissa McBride #The Walking Dead #TWD #twd spoilers #messing up my own tagging system just to prove my point

[eponymous-rose]

I’ve also further progressed in my Vorkosigan re-read! Memory was as wonderful as I remembered (Illyan and Miles going fishing via improvised hand grenade out of boredom is always a highlight). 

I love the way Bujold structures her books---I talked about that a bunch with Mirror Dance---but Memory is just brilliantly laid out. Miles is spiraling, Miles fucks up, Miles gets fired (the closest pop-culture parallel I can think of is a superhero having to permanently revert to their mundane secret identity), Miles’s friends manage to yank him out of the mire, and then... surprise bizarre out-of-sequence murder mystery! The victim’s not dead! Miles keeps finding clues out of sequence and realizing he was meant to be framed! And god, you’re so sure it’s Haroche right at the start and then you have that moment of “oh well shit of course he thinks Miles might have it in for the boss that just eviscerated his identity” and so you’re still surprised when that first instinct was right! And then he offers Miles his life as Naismith back. Even Cordelia placed a bet on Miles giving up his life as Vorkosigan. And... he doesn’t. Mirror Dance was about Mark fracturing himself to survive. Memory is about Miles dragging himself back together to live.

I love how Illyan takes the loss of his memory chip---it’s fundamentally a piece of him gone, but it’s also freedom from thirty years of being a tool of his emperor (and then of Aral), and his embracing this destruction of his identity and learning to move forward is such a great foil/foreshadowing for Miles’s revelation. Everything in this story is about moving forward, not without regrets, but moving forward. It’s so fitting that the romance story going on in the background is Alys and Illyan, two 60-somethings, falling in love (and god, I love the scene where Miles wanders in on them in the morning and thinks something like “huh that dress is more of an evening style isn’t it?” and then like ten hours later the penny drops).

And god, Miles and Elli. I love how this was done, how it’s made apparent that you can love someone, and they can love you, and you can be very good for each other in a lot of ways, but your circumstances can still be such that marriage will annihilate one or both of you. It’s nobody’s fault, but the inevitability and recognition of it means it’s not always a devastation: “He could feel the letting-go in them, with the easing of the tension and the terror, with the slowing of every pulse of their blood. Not pain, or not so much pain, but only a just sadness, a due measure of melancholy, quiet and right.” Even when they’re quite bizarre relationships, the relationships in these books are very mature and well-thought-out from a narrative point of view, and this is a wonderful example.

Just a really, really lovely book:

No wonder he was laughing. He wasn’t mourning a death. He was celebrating an escape.

“I’m not dead. I’m here.” He touched his scarred chest in wonder.

[...]

Harra Csurik had been almost right. It wasn’t your life again you found, going on. It was your life anew.

Aaaand on to Komarr! God! I love this book! The most Miles possible meet-cute for his future wife: board at the home of her family on an investigation, have combat flashbacks on a shopping trip with her, and wind up watching her husband die horrifically while chained to a rail on a planet with a toxic atmosphere, knowing if he reacts too strongly he’s likely to have a seizure that’ll dislodge his own breathing mask, killing him in the same terrible way. You know. Rom-com stuff.

Speaking of relationships portrayed well, Ekaterin and Tien’s disaster of a marriage is extremely chilling in its realism. Even as you absolutely detest Tien, you can see how Ekaterin got yanked into that orbit, and it’s all all all so tied in with the very same aspects of Barrayaran culture that we’ve seen Miles face: Tien destroys everything because of his perception of what the response would be to his illness (where Miles, for better or worse, never had the option of hiding it), and because of his shitty insecurities about Ekaterin’s fidelity (echoes of a young Aral come to mind). We’re given explanations (his brother’s literally impossible-to-live-up-to example) but are never expected to see them as excuses, which is a very fine line to walk. The end result is a believably fucked-up relationship that draws on parallels with every single time you’ve ever thought to yourself about a friend, “Oh god sweetie you can do so much better than him”.

And Ekaterin’s thoughts about being bound to this marriage are right along the lines of the most stick-in-the-mud traditional Barrayaran loyalties we’ve seen Miles exhibit, all tangled up in language about honor. And even though it very shortly (and mortally) becomes a moot point, I love that she gets the chance to decide to leave Tien in spite of that. 

I also love the scene between Tien and Miles, talking about Nikki’s jumpship obsession, partly because of the obvious contrast between the two of them, but mostly because it illustrates how much of Tien’s awfulness is because he’s just... fundamentally a bitter coward with no imagination.

"Well, every boy goes through that phase, I suppose. We all outgrow it. Pick up all that mess, Nikki.”

Nikki’s eyes were downcast, but narrowed in brief resentment at this, Miles could see from his angle of view. The boy bent to scoop up the last of his miniature fleet.

“Some people grow into their dreams, instead of out of them,” Miles murmured.

“That depends on whether your dreams are reasonable,” said Vorsoisson, his lips twitching in rather bleak amusement. Ah, yes. Vorsoisson must be fully aware of the secret medical bar between Nikki and his ambition.

“No, it doesn’t.” Miles smiled slightly. “It depends on how hard you grow.”

The alternating POVs between Miles and Ekaterin are charming because we get to see Miles from an external (non-hostile) point of view and get all excited about each small revelation, and then we get to see Ekaterin both from Miles’s point of view and from the point of view of her own very active inner monologue, giving us insights we would otherwise have missed since she, as Miles says in the understatement of the century, has a tendency to underreact.

Their relationship is built up very carefully: there’s an obvious mutual interest practically from the first, but they both have reason to be cautious. There are those moments of genuine rapport early on, and then the shopping trip! It’s such a clever revelation, and so layered!

Miles was traumatized at Dagoola IV by watching Beatrice fall from the shuttle in front of him: he reached out to try to catch her, and just missed, and she died. And then we have this perfectly safe little parallel, with himself and Ekaterin falling off a water feature in a shopping district, and he manages to catch her, this time... and they both go over. It’s cute and oddly triumphant...

...and then he realizes exactly what it means. If he’d caught Beatrice, he’d have gone over with her. They’d both be dead, and that revelation hits right after he’s had a whole book to figure out just how badly he wants to live. And to Ekaterin, it’s a very quick summary of what and who Miles is: he’s the man who would not let go. BUT Ekaterin ALSO frames her leaving Tien in that context: she’s not just watching him fall, but purposefully releasing her hands. It’s so twisted and so complicated and such a weird little microcosm of their respective states of mind. And while part of it is Ekaterin giving Miles the little push he needed to properly process that trauma, fundamentally and on a larger timescale it places Miles as the “I’ve been in this hole before and I know the way out” path to Ekaterin’s healing. It’s so well done.

There’s also a hell of a parallel in the physical aspect of Miles’s seizures coming on unexpectedly in moments of great stress versus the psychological aspect of Ekaterin’s whole coping mechanism being built on trying desperately not to flinch or show strong emotion.

(And I don’t know where else to put this but special shout-out to the running gag of Vorkosigan House getting gradually overrun with cats, to the point where Miles starts, apropos of nothing and on a totally different planet, asking strangers if they’d like a kitten.)

These kids! Will they make it work? I may be only halfway through the book, but I have a funny feeling things might work out...

Also, here’s the “rescue” scene in full, because it delights me so:

The root-compacted soil of the edge sagged under her weight, and she began to slide precipitously forward. She yelped; pushing backward fragmented her support totally. One wildly back-grappling arm was caught suddenly in a viselike grip, but the rest of her body turned as the soil gave way beneath her, and she found herself dangling absurdly feet-down over the pond. Her other arm, swinging around, was caught, too, and she looked up into Vorkosigan’s face above her. He was lying prone on the slope, one hand locked around each of her wrists. His teeth were clenched and grinning, his gray eyes alight.

“Let go, you idiot!” she cried.

The look on his face was weirdly, wildly exultant. “Never,” he gasped, “again--”

His half-boots were locked around... nothing, she realized, as he began to slide inexorably over the edge after her. But his death-grip never slackened. The exalted look on his face melted to sudden horrified realization. The laws of physics took precedence over heroic intent for the next couple of seconds; dirt, pebbles, vegetation, and two Barrayaran bodies all hit the chilly water more or less simultaneously.

The water, it turned out, was a bit over a meter deep. The bottom was soft with muck. She wallowed upright onto her feet, one shoe gone who knew where, sputtering and dragging her hair from her eyes and looking around frantically for Vorkosigan. Lord Vorkosigan. The water came to her waist, it ought not to be over his head---no half-booted feet were sticking up like waving stumps anywhere---could he swim?

He popped up beside her, and blew muddy water out of his mouth, and dashed it from his eyes to clear his vision. His beautiful suit was sodden, and a water-plant dangled over one ear. He clawed it away, and located her, his hand going toward her and then stopping.

“Oh,” said Ekaterin faintly. “Drat.”

There was a meditative pause before Lord Vorkosigan spoke. “Madame Vorsoisson,” he said mildly at last, “has it ever occurred to you that you may be just a touch oversocialized?”

#vorkosigan saga #vorkosigan saga spoilers #long text post

[greyjoyofwinterfell]

time stops for noone

Read it on AO3

"It's alright if you never forgive me."

-

Enji Todoroki to Natsuo Todoroki

The grave had become broken and battered.

The once pristine marble slab had been damaged by storms and snow.

Fuyumi Todoroki felt as if the beaten gravestone was better. Touya always loved ruined things, never arranged and submissive.

But she preferred order. She desired for everything to be tidy and clean, to be empty of carnage and destruction.

And old behaviours kicked in as Fuyumi wiped the cracked leaves and slender twigs off her brother's grave. 

She wore a crimson skirt as dark as blood. It was newly made and a gift from work but Fuyumi sat on the dirt all the same.

A dried bundle of white geraniums was tied in a scarlet ribbon. She could smell the faint flowery fragrance on them but they were long dried. Fuyumi knew only Natsuo would bring flowers to their brother's resting place.

Two candles blazed with a slight flame and the flame's heat slowly melted away the delicate wax. With all the gusts and breezes, the flare should have been blown away. But, Enji Todoroki's quirk had always been strong and always persisting during all the hazardous times. 

Fuyumi never brought anything to Touya's grave. Only herself.

Their house's shrine was different, however. It was filled with memories both pleasureful and bitter. Fuyumi could close her eyes and imagine her twin brother. She could bring him food and feel as if he as satisfied by the notion. She was able to do so much at the shrine because Fuyumi felt that Touya was alive and conscious when she looked at his shrine.

The gravestone was only a simple place where Touya's ashes lay. 

Nothing more and nothing less.

Fuyumi did not harbour much ill will towards the grave, nevertheless. 

Touya would have liked it. The sun rose first there basking the marble in a soft glow. Woods surrounded the cemetery and the rural community allowed the stars to peek in from the deep, night sky.

Touya had never loved the stars that much. It was always Fuyumi and she had taught him to ways of the sky.

She could remember instructing him on the constellations with an exhausted smile. 

Touya wasn't all that quick to grasp astronomy but he tried for her sake.

He had always tried for their family's sake and never for himself.

Fuyumi thought it was the early sunlight blinding her eyes but instead she felt cool water running down her cheeks. 

Tears were a strange thing in the Todoroki household and they were always suppressed.

Fuyumi despised crying but she could not contain herself now.

Sniffles turned into full-fledged sobs as she bent herself over Touya's grave. 

Fuyumi rarely even visited Touya's grave and she spurned the idea of sobbing on it too. 

But today was the day that Touya had perished in an inferno of his making.

She was only able to watch as he screamed in wretched agony or was it bliss? Fuyumi would never know.

She supposed he felt free at that moment.

The members of the Todoroki family rarely spoke. They believed to portray their thoughts through actions. Fuyumi rarely talked too, as a result of that.

She strained herself to converse with her parents and siblings just for the sake of their family.

It had always been easy to talk to Touya.

He had been her better half, the other side of her coin, the light to her shadows... he had been everything to her.

When he had departed in his azure flames, Fuyumi should have left with him.

Instead, she chose to simply watch the incident as it took place, nothing but a doll of flesh and blood moved by the strings of her expectations.

Fuyumi couldn't even remember Touya's last words to her.

Were they wrathful or docile? Were they sacrificing or prideful? Were they caring or vicious?

Only memories sustained her thoughts of Touya.

 Perhaps that is why she found it difficult to converse with Touya at his grave.

Movement rustled near the edges of the cemetery and Fuyumi looked at the source to distract herself.

A slender shadow leaned on a black pine tree covered in darkness. It was morning but Fuyumi could see no part of him - or was it a she?

The person turned slightly and Fuyumi received a view of burnt flesh. She should have cringed but Fuyumi felt only fascination. The scars felt oddly familiar.

The figure turned and Fuyumi saw blue eyes flash in the sunlight.

She gasped and reached out because was that-?

Fuyumi stumbled on loose rocks and rose to her feet. She rubbed her eyes and looked again at the person but there was no one.

She relaxed but felt tense either way. 

It was only a mirage. An illusion she had brought in grief. An apparition that she had produced in a futile measure to calm herself.

Touya was dead and nothing would change that.

At times Fuyumi hated social media.

It was an unchanging force, never steady and skill and Fuyumi despised that.

She needed consistency in her life.

But she tried for the sake of her younger brothers.

Shouto had posted something new today.

It was a photograph on his Instagram account taken in an Italian restaurant.

Bile rose in Fuyumi's throat.

The green-haired boy who he defeated in the Sport's Festival had an arm wrapped around Shouto. The boy was grinning, his freckles constellations of his own. Shouto had a faint blush on his pale cheeks but he possessed a faint smile and mirth danced in his eyes.

Two of their classmates sat behind him. 

A round-faced and cheery girl with her fingers placed in a peace sign and a stern-looking boy wide-eyed at Shouto's and the freckled boy's display.

The post read "The happiest day of my life with @deku, @uravity, and @imperium.

On other days, seeing this post would bring tears to Fuyumi's eyes. 

But today was the day where Touya died in their own house and Shouto was out there celebrating another foolish day with his classmates.

 Fury and indignation rose in Fuyumi's core and she slammed her phone on her desk.

How dare he?

How dare Shouto do this after Touya perished in a fiery blaze this very day?

How could he?

Touya had died to prevent Shouto from training as vigorously as Touya once had.

Touya had died to release their mother's burden and to protect them as she once died.

Touya had died to defend the hopes of his siblings.

Touya had died for all of them and something more and what does Shouto do?

Her anger feels both just and unfair.

Shouto had been just a child when it all took place. He had been a slight thing with no knowledge of the outside world. He was so innocent, all wide-eyed and pure.

She shouldn't blame him like this.

But Touya deserves so much more than a deserted gravestone and sweet lies.

He deserves to live happily and successfully.

Touya never deserved death.

Her bitter feelings make her find the group chat between herself, Natsuo, and Shouto.

I visited Touya's grave today, she types.

Once the word grave was difficult for her to think about and place Touya's name somewhere in that phrase.

It all felt so wrong.

The course of time changed that.

She clicks send and waits patiently for a few minutes.

I'm going after uni courses end. I commissioned a bouquet for him and then I'll leave, wrote Natsuo in reply.

Don't dwell too much on the past, she writes, her maternal instincts taking place.

Of course. Though, I wish I can say the same for Sho.

Shouto types back instantly, What do you mean?

Fuyumi exits her messages. She feels too bitter now to read irrelevant excuses.

It was supposed to be a leisurely Saturday if Touya had not died today. Normally, Fuyumi would spend her time doing household chores but Fuyumi feels too empty.

She rushes to the door of their house leaving as soon as she came.

Fuyumi wanders around unknowing before deciding to take a trip to the mall.

She runs for she is not patient enough to walk. She feels so energized yet so hollow.  

Sweat mats her snowy hair to her scalp and Fuyumi pants in exhaustion.

She has reached the mall and people are looking at her strangely.

Fuyumi does not pay them any heed.

Perhaps she can buy a chocolate cheesecake for herself or maybe purchase something for her father.

Obtaining a new air conditioner wouldn't be so bad, it would lessen-

The floor shakes and Fuyumi stumbles while cracks appear on the concrete floor.

Lava creeps on the floor and Fuyumi dimly realizes this is what a villain attack is.

The instincts groomed by her father kick in and she jumps to her feet.

The lava comes from the mall and Fuyumi can hear the cries and screams of the victimized.

She rushes towards the source, an unorthodox action.

Fuyumi knows she can aid with her ice-based quirk and combat the lava in any way.

There are people paralyzed in fear on the ground and she pulls them up.

"It's okay," she tells a group of children huddled on the ground.

The minutes fly by as she helps the victims in any way possible.

She is Enji Todoroki's daughter and she must act as such.

An ice wall is conjured from her hands and Fuyumi trembles in the effort. It would have been harder if she had not used it in her quirk in so long.

The pent-up energy aids her at this moment.

But she is still mentally weary and using her quirk cause exhaustion in her and...

Fuyumi feels so tired.

Her ice is breaking and shards fly into the growing pool of lava. 

Fuyumi stumbles back but she must do something, she cannot simply do nothing.

The lava surges towards her and it demolishes her ice wall. Her quirk has always been feeble and it shows now in this moment of weakness.

She coughs, phlegm flying out of her mouth, and... she just wants to sleep but she can't.

Fuyumi places her hands in front of her face and closes her eyes.

Will this be how she dies?

In a decrepit place with no one who knows her, surrounded by the element that has always been her ruination.

Fuyumi has never been afraid of death, for death is what all must face.

But, she just wishes to die after seeing her brother one last time.

A wave of heat rushes at her, and Fuyumi opens her eyes.

She wants to see her death and face it.

Suddenly, azure flames appear before her.

They do not burn her for flames that colour never burned her.

And there stands the same figure she saw in the cemetery.

She knows for sure the figure is a man now, and there is something so familiar about him.

She squints as the azure flames push back against the lava. Blue flames have always burned the hottest and nothing stands its wrath.

The figure turns back and Fuyumi sees, and she knows that there is no one else it could be, no one else with that colour of eyes, that smile, that everything that just screams-

Fuyumi wishes to whisper a name that she had not uttered for years but she just cannot.

Fuyumi does not feel drowsy when she wakes.

She is surrounded by shades of white and black, a monochrome setting.

"Fuyumi," comes a whisper. 

She turns and sees her father. 

Enji Todoroki looks out of place in the small room. He is placed on a small stool and he has decided to wear mundane clothing.

Fuyumi feels oddly pleased that he decided not to wear his hero outfit.

There is an awkward and stifling silence that Enji manages to contain by placing his callused hand on Fuyumi's head.

He radiates warmth like Touya always did.

"Don't strain yourself," he says softly and turns to leave.

Fuyumi wants to ask him to stay but all she can see is that scarred person who so resembled her brother.

Moments later Natsuo and Shouto barge in the room.

"Fuyumi," Natsuo exclaims as he rushes to her side, "Are you okay?"

Shouto silently stands beside him.

Fuyumi realizes that she has never been hospitalized her entire life.

It was always someone else, but never her.

Any hostile feelings she harboured towards Shouto disappears as she beckons them to come towards her.

"Of course," she says with a faint smile.

When Fuyumi visits Touya's grave, later that night, she knows that the figure would be there.

She is correct.

A person kneels in front of the grave adorned in shades.

She walks slowly beside him and kneels.

Fuyumi does not look until he does.

Charred, purple skin covers his body and a slight smile plays on his lips. Vermillion hair has transformed into ebony, surely artificial as Fuyumi can see his original roots.

His eyes are always the same. So knowing and feeling. Today they are filled with anguish.

He places warm hands on her face and Fuyumi does not flinch.

Courage surges in her and she whispers a name long-forgotten.

"Touya."

He wrinkles his nose. "Dabi. Not Touya, not anymore."

He turns and she follows his gaze.

They are looking at the stars, bright in their ascension and everything seems correct.

Everything, just everything is perfect.

#dabi is a todoroki #dabi is todoroki touya #dabi is touya #mha #my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #fuyumi todoroki #natsuo todoroki #shouto todoroki #enji todoroki #endeavor #rei todoroki #fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

[blazerina]

Running Away (Justin x MC - Jessica)

Running Away (Justin x MC – Jessica)

Summary: Jessica is trying to expand her horizons and get into more major event planning beyond weddings. This takes place right after the infamous kiss – and Jessica still hasn’t heard from Justin.  When she has an unfortunate and unexpected run in with him, tempers flare and sparks fly, yet again.

Authors Note: This is the first story I’ve written in MONTHS. It’s good to be back but it may not be my best. I’m loving Justin and Save the Date much more than I expected. Hope this little ficlet brings you joy today! xoxo

Word Count: 1757

--

“Thank you, Ms. Jennings, for this thoughtful presentation.  As you know, we will make our final decisions regarding this event by the end of the week.”

The president of High 5 Media reached across his desk to shake Jessica’s hand. Jessica stood up, simultaneously closing her notebook and confidently nodded. This could be her first foray into the world of major event planning. She was excited about the opportunity to really make a name for herself and prove she could do more than just weddings.

“I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time today.”

She promptly turned on her heel and exited the beautiful corner office, making her way to the elevator. Careful to maintain her professional composure all the way out the door, she even remembered to thank the receptionist at the front desk before calling the elevator.

Exhaling slowly as the door to the elevator opened, she stepped inside not noticing the other person standing near the numbered buttons.

Keeping her focus on the numbers as they lit up along the top of the door, she paid no attention to him. She felt good about the meeting she just had and wasn’t going to let anything distract her. The man suddenly cleared his throat, disrupting her thoughts.

“This elevator is going up. You knew that, right?” Justin asked, raising an eyebrow incredulously.

Internally, Jessica raged. Of course it would be him. Of all people to run into today, why wouldn’t it be Justin?

She immediately felt her face flush with heat and could not believe her luck.

“Are you kidding me?” She responded.  “You ask me to kiss you in the street, run AWAY from me, refuse to return my calls, and the first thing you do when you see me is question my ability to use an elevator?!”

Justin shrugged. “If the shoe fits…”

Jessica clenched her fists at her side and chose to respond with silence as she felt like she was going to blow at any minute.

She would never understand how she could want him so bad one minute and hate him so much the next. The only logical conclusion she could come to was that she was working too much; not getting enough sleep and letting the many champagne toasts at all the weddings she’d been planning, cloud her judgment.  

“Well, good to see you Jessica.  This is me.” The bell in the elevator seemed to ring much more loudly than normal, as Justin stepped out onto the 14th floor.

Jessica hurriedly tapped the “close door” button, repeatedly, muttering to herself “close, close, close.”

At the last moment, a hand came between both doors right before they closed.

Ugh I just want ONE moment to myself. Gah!

The woman smiled and thanked her for holding the elevator, as Jessica returned the smile, tight-lipped and silently praying for the elevator to make it to the first floor as soon as possible.

A few floors down, the woman exited, and Jessica finally found herself alone. But before she could catch her breath, she felt the elevator going up again instead of down.

“What is wrong with this stupid piece of junk?!” she cried out in anguish, feeling especially (albeit dramatically) victimized by this large metal cube.

It stopped on the 12th floor and Justin walked back in again.

“No.  Nope.  ‘Scuse me.” Jessica said, trying to get by Justin as he entered the elevator again. “I cannot be in this thing with you for one minute longer.  I’m taking the stairs.”

“Jess…” Justin stopped her, gently holding her elbow. “Come on.”

“No!” She pulled her arm from him, then realized she was starting to cause a little bit of a scene. A few people had started to stare.

Reluctantly, she went back into the elevator with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face.  

“Please.” She signed, her brow creasing as she rubbed her temples.  

“Let me ride down to the lobby in silence.  I cannot deal with you and do not have the energy to engage in some kind of witty banter about how stupid I am and how much better you are than me.”

“Fine.” Justin said, matter-of-factly, pressing the L button and standing quietly, scrolling on his phone.

Biting her lip and cursing the slowest elevator known to man, Jessica went against her better judgment and asked Justin, “What were you doing on the 12th floor? You got off on the 14th.”

“I had two appointments. One on the 14th floor and one on the 12th.” Justin replied, unphased.

“Yeah right.  Two appointments in like 3 minutes? Not even the great Justin Mercado could pull that off.” She quipped.

“What are you even doing here, Jess? Wedding planners making office calls these days? I know I wouldn’t let anyone take a wedding planning appointment during the workday in my office.”

“You know what, Justin? I don’t owe you an explana—”

The elevator jerked with a hard stop, then bobbed up and down for a few moments.

Oh my God. Jessica’s eyes grew wide, realizing what just happened.

Justin angrily banged his fist again the door.

“Not right now! I have another appointment to get to!” He roared.

“Let me guess, on the 10th floor?” Jessica called him out, proud of herself for maintaining her composure around him and while trapped in an elevator.

“Actually, yes. If you must know.” Justin answered with a very agitated tone.

“You made a mistake!” Jessica scoffed, smiling triumphantly as she realized what happened and why Justin was there in the first place.

“You’d never admit it to yourself, and much less to me, but your appointment was always scheduled for the 10th floor.  With High 5 Media! You put out a bid for their annual fundraising gala, didn’t you?”

Putting her hands on her hips, victoriously, Jessica continued.

“Looks like you’re not gonna get that job, Mr. Mercado.” She smugly leaned against the wall, absentmindedly looking at her manicured nails, attempting to portray pure peace and patience while waiting for the elevator to begin whizzing again.

Justin’s eyes narrowed. “What and how would you know anything about that?” He questioned.

She shrugged playing coy. Enjoying the power she felt, she approached Justin slowly, maintaining eye contact with him.

“Remember when we started on this whole little elevator journey together?” Jessica asked, working hard to make sure she delivered her next line perfectly.

“You picked me up on the 10th floor.”  Her face was only inches away from his now, and it was everything she could do not to poke her finger in his chest as she made her point.

Justin started slow clapping, chuckling to himself as he immediately looked away from her, then back again.

“Well good…for…you…”

Sighing deeply, Jessica quickly lost any of the composure she was so sure she had earlier.  

“You are an insufferable asshole!” She rolled her eyes and started punching buttons, about to have a full out tantrum.

“I can’t even be in the same room with you let alone confined to a metal coffin suspended hundreds of feet in the air between floors of one of the tallest buildings downtown!” She yelled, continuing to push buttons.

“Jessica that’s not going to help. If anything it will only slow this thing down.  Stop!”

“No! I don’t have to listen to you. You don’t tell me what to do. You’re not my boss – but you could have been! You didn’t even give me a chance though, you judged me from the beginning and guess what, Justin! You.  Judged. Wrong.  I’m going to get this High 5 Media event and put you out of business. One day I’m going to be the best and the ONLY high-class event planning company in town and you’re going to be sorry you ever fired me!”

Jessica started laughing, while also gasping for air, her eyes growing wide, having a full-blown melt down. With her back against the wall, she slid to the floor, continuing to laugh as Justin stared at her, his mouth agape, not knowing how to respond.

“Are you okay?” Justin asked, honestly concerned, crouching down to be on the same level as Jessica.

“Shut up.” She responded, closing her eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay.  “Don’t pretend like you care about me.”

Justin seemed a little stunned by that remark and sat down on the elevator floor right next to her.

After what felt like an eternity, Justin broke the silence.

“I’m not pretending. I…I know it doesn’t seem like it and I don’t…communicate it well…but I…I do…care…about you…”

He seemed flustered and this was the first time Jessica ever saw him without everything thoroughly planned, produced and rehearsed.

“I should have called you…or…” he trailed off, staring at Jessica, looking deep into her eyes.  

“Or maybe not run away like a 5-year-old?” she finished.

Justin smiled and looked down at his hands, laughing slightly.  

“Yeah, or that.”

They both returned to silence again, Justin still staring at his hands and Jessica looking up at the ceiling.

“I guess I can be a 5-year-old too sometimes.” She shrugged, making eye contact with him again.

“Jessica…” Justin trailed off, his voice almost a whisper.

“What are we doing?” She sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder, as if she was pulled to him by a magnetic force.

“I don’t know, but…” Justin turned to her and tipped her chin up to his lips as he closed his eyes.

“Emergency services! Hello?! Anyone in there? You all are going to be just fine – we are prying the doors open now! You’ll be out within the next 5 minutes if all goes as planned.”

A booming voice interrupted them both as they instinctively separated and jumped to their feet.

--

Once the doors were opened, Jessica gathered her belongings and made a beeline for the stairs.  

Justin was speaking with and thanking the fireman and emergency team for successfully getting them out of the elevator. He expected Jessica to still be there when he turned around, but saw her quickly making her way to the stairs.

“Jessica? Jessica!” She could faintly hear his voice calling out to her.  

They were on the 3rd floor so she had a few flights to take to get down to the lobby. She picked up her pace and turned it into a slight jog. Suddenly, Jessica wanted to be as far away from that place and from Justin as possible.

This time, she was the one running away.

#save the date #justin mercado #justin x mc #mc x justin #blazerina babbles #justin x jessica #choices stories you play #trying to come back #the slow burn #enemies to lovers #that is my angsty jam

[thezestywalru]

Hidden behind a screen

Marinette cried frustrated tears into her pillows as she wondered why. Why didn’t they believe her? Why wouldn’t he help her? Why couldn’t she stand up for herself? 

“It’s not that bad, Marinette!” said Tikki, quite unhelpfully.

But Marinette ignored her, and ran down to her computer, typing out a furious email to her former best friend. She had no intentions of sending it, of course, but she couldn’t keep the emotions bottled in.

Remembering the villain that had played Paris for these last few years, she quickly decided to calm herself. Maybe talking to someone would help.

Marinette quickly logged online, surveying different chat rooms on various websites to see if one could help her. They didn’t need to know her name, but she needed advice. She needed an outsiders perspective.

Surprisingly fast, just a mere 20 minutes later, she received a DM in her inbox. It was from a kind stranger, assuring her that she had done no wrong. They offered her help, advice. All she had to do was type out a reply and talk to them.

Marinette hesitated, looking back at the sleeping red kwami. What would ladybug do in the situation? On one hand, her parents had always warned her never to talk to people online but she didn’t know. All of her social medias were private, excluding the one that she used for her designing.

With a gulp, she decided to take a leap and replied quickly. Marinette introduced herself as M. The stranger seemed nice. He introduced themselves as Jake. Though he provided no age, Marinette surmised through the different Internet lingo and slang that he used that Jake was about her age. He said he was 16, just like her. 

She checked his profile. It was fairly empty, only comments on different posts were written, offering kind words and solid advice. There are a few photos as well, each for portraying the same teenage boy with red hair and pale freckled skin. 

Though she was cautious at first, Jake quickly became Marinette’s only confidant. She told him nearly everything, often texting him during class to calm herself down as Lila squirmed her way out of tricky situations, and the class wouldn’t listen to her.

He told her all about his pet dog, TJ, who was a miniature poodle. He lived in London, just over the channel. He showed her a photo of the birthmark on his hand, which was shaped like a sleeping cat. “Just to prove that I’m real.” He joked. 

She asked him about the sites, which he willingly explained. This inspired a whole new line of her fashion, each modeled for the different monuments around the world.

He seemed perfect; almost like her dream guy, her soulmate. He wanted three kids as well and he didn’t mind hamsters. So, she told her dream guy her full name, her life and everything about her.

She wished she had someone she could talk to about Jake, someone she could gushed you about her newfound crush. The posters and schedule of Adrien were quickly removed.

So, Ladybug excitedly told Chat Noir about the new guy she was talking to. He didn’t take it very well. Flummoxed, she asked why he wasn’t happy for her. He confessed his love, once again, to which she responded that she only saw him as a friend.

Finally, two months after they had started talking, Jake finally asked her to be his girlfriend. She excitedly accepted. He promised to fly over for Valentine’s Day, so they could meet in person. She only had to wait four months. He gave her his number, which she began texting.

Soon, the questions begin. He asked her for photos, something to prove to his friends that he supposedly had a girlfriend. “They didn’t believe me,” he said. “They said you’re fake,” he said. So she sent him a photo of her that Alya had taken just months before, her in front of the Eiffel tower eating some of Audreys ice cream. It was a pretty photo, and she was quite proud of it.

“No,” he said. ”That’s not the kind of photo I want.” So, she took them. Shamefully. Because if she didn’t love him, why wouldn’t she do it? those were his words. They stung. It was her first relationship, but he assured her this was normal.

Instead of complaining or refusing because she wanted to keep her only friend, Marinette instead asked for photos of him to show to others. In reply, Jake sent the same photos from his profile, the two photos of the freckled ginger boy grinning at the camera.

“No,” She said. ”New photos.”

“These are new.” He replied. His original profile had been deleted. “By the company,” he said. She believed him, like a fool.

The questions began once more: requests for new photos, and strangely, threats. He wanted videos too.

“A video of what?” She didn’t really want to know.  His answer sickened her, but he said he wouldn’t come to Valentine’s Day in Paris if she didn’t send it. Her classmates already been doubting that she found a boyfriend, so she reluctantly sent it along. 

They continued talking, though now it was mostly requests for new photos and refusals to reciprocate. Come Valentine’s Day, when he didn’t show up to their meeting place and brushed it off with an excuse that the weather in England was bad (from her experience, the weather in England was almost always bad) she decided she had to cut him off.

The reply from her sweet Jake that she had given her heart to surprised her.

“I have your phone number, you stupid bitch. Do you think I won’t be able to find your address? You already gave it to me, including your last name. I know your parents are bakers. I know where to find you. I know where you sleep.” Scared now, she blocked his number.

She blocked him on all social media, not that he had many. She was beginning to suspect now that Jake wasn’t who he said he was. She looked up photos of miniature poodles, finding the picture that he claimed was of his dog in the first ten. The photos he had taken around London were merely grabbed off of the internet. 

She reached out to Alya, who merely scolded her about trusting Internet strangers, believing Lila that this was just an attention grabber from Marinette. After all, her boyfriend hadn’t been real, had he?

She went to Adrien after the first threatening text from an unknown number appeared, with just a photo, the photo that she had taken. He offered no advice, merrily telling her to ignore it.

So, she did. Stupidly, naïvely. The video showed up on her public fashion design’s Instagram. Shock rippled around the gossip sites. She tried to take it down, but it had already been downloaded by many people. It was quickly spread around the internet, with various people calling her out. She deleted her instagram. The source was unknown, so she couldn’t sue whoever it was. Her parents were ashamed; furious that she had trusted this boy.

The next video was merely an explicit of some guy jerking off to a photo of her. It was clearly not a teenage boy. it came from the same account. Jake.

Her future was ruined. Each time someone searched up her name, the photos would appear. She was ridiculed at school, even more so. They called her a slut, a whore. So, even though her parents couldn’t move their bakery, they offered to let her transfer schools to somewhere else in Paris when the year ended. She accepted.

The new school was fine, at first. She made a few friends. Soon the video made its appearance again, and everything was ruined. Her old classmates slandered her online, taking no mercy. They now ignored her. She wasn’t sure what she preferred. 

Who was he? Why was he doing this? She was ostracized at school for something she couldn’t control. Hawkmoth was never defeated under her time as ladybug, and she resigned from the position. She was the keeper of the miraculous now, so she sought out heroes who could defeat him. When she turned 18, Hawkmoth was revealed as Gabriel Agreste and sentenced to 12 life sentences in prison. 

Finally, after pleading with her parents, she moved to the United States for college. Fashion was a far off dream now, slowly sinking below the horizon. 

She went by Marie Dupain. She tried to remain invisible, sure that if she was noticed, she would be recognized. Marinette dyed her hair a darker black and wore baggy sweatshirts. 

Years passed and she had never achieved her dream of becoming a fashion icon. She still designed for different celebrities and high caliber clients, but she spent her days at a law firm after getting her degree in textiles and then achieving her law degree. She never returned to Paris unless it was to visit her family. 

It was just her luck that on the tenth Christmas she spent at her parents bakery, she would run into Alya, who was followed by a tall, freckled, ginger man. With a sharp inhale, she greeted her former best friend with a wan smile. 

“Girl! I haven’t seen you in ages!” Marinette shied away from the enthusiasm and attention. Alya prattled on before remembering her companion and purpose. 

“Oh, this is Shane.” She said, gesturing to her red-headed friend. “He’s a friend from university.” Marinette nodded slowly, wondering as she always did if this man was the one from the photos. 

Shane seemed agreeable enough, and Alya speedily roped Marinette into plans for them to reconnect. Marinette resolved to be on the next plane back to the US after Christmas. 

When Shane turned around, she noticed the peculiar birthmark on the back of his hand. It was shaped like a cat. A sleeping one, in fact. Marinette ran upstairs, abandoning her parents to take care of the rush. 

They never did find who posted those photos. The true identity of “Jake” was never revealed, nor did Marinette ever tell Shane that his photos were used against her. You see, happy endings don’t always come true. The bad guy isn’t always captured and killed in a grisly fire. That’s the power of being hidden behind a screen. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

More than 500,000 predators are online everyday. Kids 12 to 15 are susceptible to being groomed and manipulated by offenders online. FBI stats show that more than 50 percent of victims of online sexual exploitation are 12-15 years old.

- According to the University of New Hampshire's Youth Internet Safety Study (YISS), reports of unwanted sexual solicitations declined 53 percent between 2000 and 2010. As of 2010 only 9 percent of kids who use the internet received an unwanted sexual solicitation.

- The YISS report also found that two specific kinds of contact -- requests for offline meetings and situations that kids found extremely upsetting -- declined between 2005 and 2010.

- When there’s a report of an online predator (like the one about Roblox in 2017), multiple news outlets jump on the story, and they often appear in many outlets over a week or two, so it may feel like it's more common than it is. Also, it makes for a popular article since it plays on parents' fears.

- The University of New Hampshire's Crimes Against Children Research Center reports that kids are more likely to pressure each other to send or post sexual content than an adult.

-According to the New England Journal of Public Policy, contact with online predators happens mostly in chat rooms, on social media, or in the chat feature of a multiplayer game (Roblox, Minecraft, Clash of Clans, World of Warcraft, and so on).

-Most games meant for kids -- like Roblox and Animal Jam -- have built-in features and settings that are designed to prevent inappropriate comments and chat. Though they’re often imperfect, they do help.

-Games that aren’t designed only for kids have fewer controls, settings, and safeguards.

-Any app or online space that allows contact with strangers without moderation or age verification can allow contact between kids and adult strangers.Teens sometimes visit adult sites, chat rooms, and dating apps out of curiosity about sex and romance

-Only 5 percent of online predators pretend they're kids. Most reveal that they're older -- which is especially appealing to 12-to-15-year-olds who are most often targeted.

-Some predators initiate sexual talk or request pictures immediately and back off if refused. They're in it for an immediate result.

-In contrast, some predators engage in "bunny hunting," which is the process of picking a potential victim for "grooming": They'll look at social media posts and public chats to learn about the kid first.

-Once they've selected someone, they may begin the grooming phase, which often involves friending the target's contacts, engaging in increasingly personal conversations to build trust, taking the conversation to other platforms (like instant messaging), requesting pictures, and finally requesting offline contact.

-Sometimes if a kid shares one compromising picture, a predator will engage in "sextortion," which involves demanding more pictures or contact under threat of exposure or harm.

Be careful. Don’t trust anyone. Read up on what to do. Look up stories of victims like Amanda Todd. This is an unfortunately common thing, and I ask that people are aware of it. Marinette was targeted because of how open and vulnerable she was. Take care!

#tw #angst #online strangers #chat rooms #catfish #don't be fooled #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #akumatization #i wrote this instead of sleeping #ml salt fic #ml salt #ml fic

[fantasyresident]

Stereotypical Labels

All across media and in our daily lives we experience the utilization of stereotypes, and they are quite obstinate in our culture. From race, to religion, to sexuality, and gender, all of these broad topics and more are narrowed down by people into stereotypes in some way. Perhaps stereotypes only exist because it is better for many of us to have something easy to remember. But this becomes a problem when we weaponize our stereotypes to label other people and insult them. Even in video games (which is a topic I will be discussing) stereotypes persist. Myself, I’m quite peeved about the use of stereotypes, although I must admit I have once (and occasionally still do) become temporarily vacuumed into them. Some of us break the mold, and others make the mold stronger. My purpose in bringing this up is to simply create discussion among everyone who is aware of the stereotype epidemic in our society.

LGBT Self-Labeling

Anyone who watches or has watched The Voice and keeps up with the news may be aware of the past Kelly Clarkson controversy regarding gay contestants. After the performance of Molly Stevens, Kelly Clarkson compares her voice to the voices of Melissa Etheridge and the Indigo Girls. While the average mind isn’t going to see any “controversy” here for miles, Stevens did and took offense to her comparison (even though Kelly clearly liked her voice.) Stevens blamed Clarkson for “labeling” her and made her dissatisfaction known to the public and to Clarkson. What’s ironic about this situation and others like it, the one who cries wolf is the one who called the wolf in the first place. The only one doing the labeling is Stevens herself. (Thankfully the two got everything cleared up eventually.) It’s sad, because the LGBT community means well in promoting their message, but sometimes members of the community are a little too self-aware of the labels society has placed on them and continuously label themselves as well. At the end of the day, the LGBT community is just a bunch of people. They aren’t “gays”, or “lesbians”, they’re people who love. This annoying problem is carried over to other forms of media including video games and t.v shows such as sitcoms. Too many times, I see the media tapping into overused stereotypes to describe or express the idea of same sex love. Like for instance, a comedy show would introduce an obviously gay character, make them say something humorous and over-the-top about their sexuality, and make the audience correlate their appearance with laughter rather than taking on same-sex love seriously. I get it that comedy shows are supposed to be funny, but not all gay people are over-the-top, feminine (or masculine if we’re talking about lesbians) or party animals. Not all gay people excitedly and openly announce to the world that they are gay, some are less open about it simply to not make a big deal out of it. In far too many video games, gay characters are either swept to the side and easy to miss the existence of altogether, or they fit into a stereotype label. This isn’t to say that nobody does LGBT right or if you happen to fit into a stereotype that you aren’t genuine, but I just feel like too many people are labeling others or themselves too much.

A fantastic example of LGBT characters in gaming done WITHOUT stereotypes or rubbing the fact that the characters are gay in the viewer’s faces are Fang and Vanille from Final Fantasy XIII. (If you don’t believe this is canon, then research it. The game itself makes it clear enough.)

Female Stereotypes

The history of labeling females is rooted centuries ago when gender roles developed. The women had their place and the men had everything else. They were supposed to look pretty, say little, keep the home tidy, and deliver children. While this stereotype has eased off and many women are expressing their rights openly, they haven’t gone away entirely by any means. People still claim that women shouldn’t be into gaming, women should dress “appropriately” etc. Let’s not forget gender discrimination when it comes to equal pay at work and the lack of benefits for women who are pregnant while working. There are countless gender-related issues concerning stereotypes and society’s expectations of women. If a woman comes to work with just a little cleavage showing, she’s slut-shamed by a co-worker because of the persistent stereotype that a women who dresses loosely is a whore. Again, this is a problem and it doesn’t end there. In media such as video games, the same stereotypical labels are put into use, only for characters rather than people. If a female character is designed with slightly revealing clothing, they’re labeled as a sex symbol even if their personality is far from such. This has always bothered me as a proponent of human rights and a designer. If you’re shamed for what you wear because you like a certain style that has been placed under a harmful label, you’re not living a free life. That’s why it bothers me so much when the same happens with fictional characters. There is, thankfully, a silver lining. Society has gotten better (but far from perfect) at treating women and portraying them in video games. Some good examples of phenomenal female icons in gaming are Lightning, from Final Fantasy XIII (a game that shatters many stereotypes), Primrose from Octopath Traveler, and Lara Croft from Tomb Raider (not the Capcom version). 

Lightning showed the players that beauty nor strength has to be compromised in order for a woman to be a woman. Primrose rebelled against the man who kept her in chains, and Lara expressed great courage and strength in her endeavors while often risking her own life. There are more good icons out there, but these 3 women are some of the best representations I have been made aware of. 

Most female characters are stereotyped by their “emotional strength” or their smarts. While emotional strength is undoubtedly important, it’s not the only strength a woman is capable of having. So few women in gaming are portrayed to have physical strength without falling into some other stereotype (like the busty women epidemic) Women have different body types of course, but to some extent they have become a key role in marketing for male gamers for quite some time and that is indeed contributing to more and more stereotypes regarding women. Any woman who happens to be naturally big-built will be shamed for her body due to the stereotype developed by media. Just some food for thought.

Male Stereotypes

The next topic I’d like to discuss is something I think is equally important. Society has placed its own set of expectations upon men, much like women. However, these expectations are far different but cause the same damage. Men are often expected to hide feelings, participate in “manly” activities like hunting, and to like certain things deemed “masculine” by our culture. A boy cannot play with barbies (which makes my existence illegal to them because I grew up with Barbies all around me.) These expectations we place ends up making the male culture toxic at some point. If a boy does not grow up being taught to respect women, be who they want to be, and to express their emotions, they will grow up to deal with emotions through anger towards others and criticize others who show emotion. This is likely why many boys don’t get along with girls, because they aren’t taught gender equality and they have to find other means of expressing themselves. This leads to other more serious issues later in life like demeaning women, sexual harassment, among other conflicts. It’s much easier to accept others when you are raised to accept yourself no matter who you are. Media, like always with stereotypes, doesn’t do a good job at breaking this pattern, but there are some great examples. Again, referring to the stereotype-shattering Final Fantasy XIII, Hope Estheim is a good example from my personal experience of a male character who doesn’t fall in line with the expectations of who a man is “supposed” to be. 

Race Stereotypes

Racial stereotypes (commonly known as racial profiling) is very much a part of our culture today. While racism has been largely criminalized (and rightly so), it still persists as much or more than other issues like the ones I discussed earlier. The best example of this issue, is police brutality. Too many police officers have personal bias against African Americans even if they aren’t noticeably racist themselves. They see a man or woman of color, and they instantly feel endangered by the “unknown”. They fear that someone different than them is posing a threat to their well-being. Instead of approaching them like anyone else, they react with force because of the label their subconscious has placed on the person in question, even if said person in question doesn’t pose any threat whatsoever. Automatic assumptions of threats (like seeing someone hold a gun when it’s really just an everyday object) are made because of their fear. It’s no secret that this is a problem, so I don’t feel the need to explain this any further. There are countless of characters in video games and tv shows to represent the people of color, so I think for the most part the media does a fair job with representing them equally.

I realize that the media and the world aren’t perfect, and I don’t expect stereotypes to disappear any time soon. I understand they may be easy to fall victim to and difficult to eradicate from your mind due to the longstanding culture we’ve developed. But just take some time to think about what labels you’re placing on people and to separate that label from who they truly are, or better yet, ditch labels altogether. At the end of the day, we’re all human regardless of color, gender, and sexuality. So treat others like it.

#stereotypes #labels #stop stereotyping #racial stereotyping #racial profiling #gender stereotyping #gender roles #media #final fantasy #video games #primrose #octopath traveler #important #discussion #stereotype discussion #male stereotypes #female stereotypes #stereotypical labels #stop labeling #lgbt #gay #gay rights #gay stereotypes #lesbian #male and female stereotypes #breaking the norm #lightning farron #lara croft #tomb raider #rpgs

[thattimdrakeguy]

Robin - the first miniseries - issue #2 (R.I.P Tom Lyle)

This issue is really good at letting you know the bare bones basics of what Tim’s going through in this story.

It may not go through all the details, but it gives you pretty much the main components of what you need to do.

A nice recap that’s always good for readers that didn’t pick up the first issue. It’s very easy, and simple at lowering any confusion.

Although there is probably still butt loads given how little they actually say, but it’s easy to pick up.

Robin’s getting beat up, this adult man who is obviously not Batman is helping him.

You can pick it up fast and continue from there.

They also give Tim’s narration, and I can’t help but read this in the most deadpan clinically exhausted tone reality can bring. It’s so deadpan and self-depreciating, but at the same time, it lets the reader know he has that boy scout thought process.

You get a sense that the kid’s doing his best to be a superhero, but it always does a good job of letting you know that even he’s aware he’s not doing a good job.

Not feeling like he’s good enough is a constant theme of Tim’s character.

His narration also shows us, that Tim is a freaking idiot. That probably should’ve thought this out before nearly getting himself beat to death.

Like he’s clever, good with computers and all that, but he’s still an idiot kid

People to be always over-value Tim’s intelligence, and while he obviously gets a lot smarter than this (often to the point of being out of character to be frank). Some people might make you think he’s a genius, like James Tynion IV, but honestly he’s no genius.

He doesn’t always make the best decisions.

Though even when he’s five steps away from toppling over, he still does his best to do what he thinks is the best thing he can do. He’s doing his best to be a hero, even when he isn’t cut out for the job yet. He keeps on trying.

His relationship with Clyde is also pretty sweet for as odd as it is. I mean, they did just meet after Clyde was gonna get killed, and Timmy jumped in to give the bad guys something else to hit.

But for what it is, it’s decently sweet.

It’s more nice character building for Tim that shows how he is in Robin mode interacting with other people and victims of crime. He’s sweet, and always doing his best to do the right thing.

Like the little boy scout he is.

--

It’s easy to barely care for the villains of this miniseries though, because to be honest. They’re so generic that it’s a bit painful to read them sometimes. They feel like they’re out of a dollar bin Kung Fu movie from the 80s. I have no idea why this is who they decided to make Tim’s first villain this.

The name of the villain is even KING SNAKE, that’s such a cheesy Kung Fu movie villain name.

Oh no, a serious, violent, psychopathic, gang leader.

What ever shall we do.

It’s something you can skip over honestly, because you pretty much know it’s going to be stuff you’ve seen before.

Basically, they go into operation ‘kill the pipsqueak’ (they don’t call it that, but that’s the idea), and that’s the threat they pose. Its very bare bones.

Though there’s a part of this that alarms me more than the main villain.

Because this implies that the girl isn’t Tim’s age. The way she says he’s “almost a child” implies she’s notably older older than Tim given how she words herself, but maybe not, because Tim IS babyfaced. It is a joke people constantly think he’s 12 (and that’s at age 17, Tim’s 14 here. So who knows how he looks to people). So, how old is this girl?

Is she’s Tim’s age? Because I’m alarmed by this because she was vaguely flirting with him in the last issue. Is she his age and she doesn’t know? Cuz if she was his age and she knows, it’s weird for her to word it that way. She’d just say “around my age”, like how a normal person would.

Even then, she still notes how he’s super young like she doesn’t think they’re the same age, so that’s still super creepy.

That interaction alarms me a lot, but it’s not even close to the creepiest thing in this comic, but thankfully that’s in another issue.

I’m not looking forward to talking about it, but this is a review of this miniseries. So I’m going to.

--

The next scene shows just how much of a stupid, sheltered, rich kid Tim is.

Like this kid, just throws away this man’s clothes. This man is in his underwear when he wakes up. Tim took this man’s clothes off his body and threw it away.

This scene I just never liked though, because it’s very contrived.

Tim’s always been shown to be nice and respectful unless it’s to not so nice people. So why does he straight up throw the guys clothes out?

They don’t even play Tim to be creepy, or weird, or rude for this. So this wasn’t intended to make him out to be a disturbing gremlin child.

As far as I can tell, the gag is that Tim’s a sheltered rich kid, and a bit stupid sometimes, but if I woke up in my underwear with a kid talking about crime in front of me. I’d be a lot more alarmed.

Although maybe it’s just some crime movie trope I don’t know about. Girl’s in movies often wake up naked with no real concern. Which is a really gross trope.

I remember in Back to the Future Marty McFly woke up with no pants, but that WAS played as weird, because it WAS weird. You don’t take stranger’s clothes off. So this scene is just contrived.

The intention isn’t to make Tim’s character a weirdo. This wasn’t them trying to show him as creepy, because that’s simply not how it’s portrayed. It’s just a rich kid joke. So he isn’t as far as the series and how I’m concerned, and he doesn’t do anything like this ever again. So it’s just out of place, odd, and contrived.

Maybe this one of the many reason’s why people think Tim was gay. He backs away from being flirted with women, but he’ll take a man’s clothes off without a second thought.

Another creepy scene though, and a scene that’s not even meant to be creepy at that, which almost makes it worse to me. Like I sure hope this wasn’t the way they intended to make Tim come off as gay, because it’s a freaking creepy scene even if it’s kind of clearly not what they intended. 

Although, let me say, I’m 99% sure they honestly did not intend Tim to come off as gay in any way. Just a bad scene honestly. It’s written away from normal human logic, so it’s contrived, and they don’t even fully act like what just happened happened.

However due to the power of interpretation, if you think Tim’s gay, he’s gay.

If they wanted to show Tim being a sheltered rich kid, they should’ve done a better job writing it then this. If Tim’s gonna do it a weird thing, because he doesn’t know what he’s doing, then write it that way. Don’t just act like this wasn’t weird.

--

Lady Shiva has her “come with me if you want to live” moment though, and so the action continues.

In general this issue has a lot more action.

The format of the miniseries is a lot more like a movie than how most comics try to squeeze in a lot of action every issue. There’s action in the first issue, but it’s mostly condensed down a lot. This finally goes into action movie territory.

The bad guys are so corny. Like I can’t get over how much they look like cheesy 80s Kung Fu movie villains.

Tim deserves better than these bozos.

However they keep Tim’s character strong, by reaffirming he’s got no street smarts. Tim at this point is 100% only making this far by his book smarts. He’s naive, and stupid still.

They even got nice ‘show don’t tell’ moments, where Tim’s just freaking bad at this job still. Even though he is quick thinking and sort of clever.

People say Tim has no character, but he has plenty of character. He just isn’t loud. He’s mostly soft spoken so maybe his personality isn’t obvious, but he has it plenty if anyone wanted to pay attention to him.

--

Enjoy some more dumb rich kid Tim.

Like casually renting a farm house isn’t normal, Timothy.

Up until this point, some people may still argue that Tim’s a Gary Stu, because while even though he fails, and isn’t skilled. People still like him, and he doesn’t do anything morally wrong, but that’s not true either.

Tim’s so focus on figuring stuff out that he becomes insensitive to Clyde.

Mostly cuz he’s a dumb, but smart (contradiction, but remember Tim’s book and computer smart, not socially smart or street smart. There’s a distinction. He’s still incredibly naive and unaware that what he did wasn’t right) kid that didn’t realize it, but still. He did something wrong, and it’s shown that he’s wrong for it.

So the traits of his character are able to be shown more to stronger limits.

We know his strong points and his character flaws.

He’s got a heroic spirit, he’s computer smart, good at crime solving, he’s constantly trying to do the right thing, and he doesn’t give up.

but socially and street-wise he’s an idiot, and his sheltered childhood ended up with him being relatively insensitive without him being aware of it at first, and while it’s clear he isn’t insensitive out of malice, it’s still a character flaw, as it causes problems between the characters.

--

The final scene gives us some character growth, and if you wanna smack Timmy for being so insensitive to Clyde, well, in this training scene. Clyde smacks him for ya. (Even if it’s not for being insensitive)

We even get to see how emotionally vulnerable Tim is compared to some other superheroes too.

He cries when he’s angry unlike other superheroes who often enough get to look cool, tough, and masculine when they cry.

Here Tim looks like what lots of people would call a wimp.

As someone who cried a lot when they were mad, and even got bullied for that fact. I honestly just really appreciate, on a personal level, that they had Tim cry when he was mad. 

He’s got his butt kicked this whole entire time by pretty much every person he freaking met. So that’s a lot of emotion coming out of him that he’s been probably building up and internalizing inside of him with all his self-deprecation in his narration.

I kinda gotta question the morals of teaching Tim to fight with anger though.

But it’s still a good moment because it shows were Clyde comes from. That’s were Clyde gets his motivation to fight from and do all of this. Clyde even tho this is his only appearance does get character in this. We learn about him a lot.

It makes me wish Clyde showed up again. Unless he did and I somehow didn’t realize it was him, because he’s a neat character in his own way. Could’ve got a nice noir crime drama out of him.

Along with that. They don’t even ignore the morals of fighting with anger, because that immediately gets brought up.

So differences between these three weirdos come up when they become a trio.

--

I prefer the first issue just because it’s more of a character study, and didn’t have all the corniness.

This issue, while I focus on the bad stuff, because this is a review I’m gonna talk about it. It’s still a good issue. Just a good issue with bad scenes and crooked morals when it comes to the ambiguous age gap between Linx and Timmy that could end up making that whole interaction they had really creepy.

Tim’s character gets stronger, and the story gets filled out, even if the story is still bare bones at this point as far as the villains are concerned. It’s filled out in a way that means, there’s a threat, and there’s actual action and adventure to make it exciting.

So it’s not a perfect miniseries for anyone looking for story. It’s a miniseries that’s perfect for people that love and wanna learn about Timmy.

#Tim Drake #Robin #Clyde Rawlins #I don't think I tagged him in the last issue's review cuz I didn't know his last name off the top of my head #Lady Shiva #King Snake #Linx #DC Comics #Bat-Family #Bat-Fam #BatFamily #Batfam

[indigosees]

Mirrors

Character/s: Daiki Kwon, Hyun-ji Kwon, Jing-sae Kwon, Anaïs Park Fandom: Original work Trigger Warning: Violence, Death (?)

[ Continues from a previous work. Also, Tony and Lavinia belongs to @catphantom​ ]

There are approximately 1.25 million people dying of road crashes each year. Odds of it happening to a person, at least once in their life? Who knows. We often see it portrayed in media: car accident taking the life of a beloved, or a group of people. Sometimes, the main character embarks on a journey to discover himself. The audience would be able to better understand why he died and who he left behind. Other times, he will be stuck in a loop, until he did something right, and in the end he will be the one killed, and the other supposed victim lives. The entertainment industry capitalizes on human tears and agony. It’s a shame that no one sees it.

One would sometimes wonder, if such things are possible: to change the past or to simply return back in time, and relieve a time that's more preferable than the present. I for one don't bother believing in such things nor do I bother to hope for the possibility.  Whatever has happened, has happened. There's no turning back. Even as my eyes rested on the bloodied heap that used to be my wife, I didn't have to look up to see who was behind it, because I already knew this would happen. 

"That's not mom," he seethed. I must have pushed a little too far by bringing my wife back to life. "And I won't let it defile my memory of her."

"Where's Hyun-ji?" I asked after his sister. As the emotional one, she was likely  to have gone somewhere. "Hiding. Like the coward she is," he walked over to the sink, washing the knife, like nothing alarming just happened. I didn't need to look around and find my daughter as she cried up to me, the weight of her body against mine. "Dad--dad," she choked in between sobs, "brother is--" her tears kept rolling down her cheeks, eyes red and sore. I wrapped my arms around her, patting her head. I made sure she wouldn't see the grotesque display of her mother's remains, though she have probably seen it already. If only Anaïs were here, she would know what to do. Regardless of what she thought, she raised our kids well, that even our son who took after me respected her greatly. Case in point, the remains of her clone sprawled across the kitchen floor. "It'll be fine, Hyun-ji," I tried to console her. "Your father will take care of it."

"Take care of what?!" Wrong move again? Jeez, this kid is difficult. How did Anaïs raise him? "Take care of the clone's remains and get another one?" Hyun-ji winced in my chest. She never liked it when we fought--even just screaming at each other puts her on the edge. "I swear dad, if I see another mirror of mom I will kill you next." I'm sure he meant it but I don't really care--kid's got guts but inexperience trumps his ideals. Unless he decided to shoot me in my sleep, which could still be prevented by locking the door to my room at night. I'm a light sleeper so I can easily tell if he would try to kill me in my sleep. He can't drug me either, because I'd make sure not to eat anything that's within his vicinity. He is my son and 9 out of 10 I know each and every trick in his sleeve and he will never win against me. "Alright, maybe I made a mistake--"

“You're a fucking mistake,” my own son cut me off. The nerve. "You should've been the one who died." I mean, I think I expected my own death more than Anaïs', honestly, so me being alive right now is a pleasant surprise. “Jing-sae!” The voice was feminine but sharp, a mere word radiating with rage. My daughter. You’re making me cry. “Don't talk to dad like that! Just be glad, that dad is alive, or we'd have no one to take care of us!” Not true. I've written my last will and testament and placed you under the care of Tony, Lavinia, or Anaïs' brother. But thank you, my sweet little knight in shining armor. This is why you’re my favorite. 

They continued to argue and as a father, I should be stopping them or calming them down. I can’t be blamed for admiring my daughter, who is now standing tall against her brother who has been rude 25/8 of the time, and holding her ground for her beloved father. The fierceness, stubbornness, and the insistence to do what she thinks is only right--all of which are qualities she most likely acquired from her mother. Oh Anaïs, I’m sure you would’ve wanted to see them grow old and achieve their dreams.

I had to step in when I sensed one of them was getting a little too heated. One of them is more capable of murder than the other after all. “Alright, alright, let’s just…” I had to physically haul my daughter off despite her attempts to wiggle herself out of my grasp. Ah, sibling fights. I never had them. Though, I remember Anaïs telling me a bit about them. Back when she was younger, she’d used to fight with her siblings on who gets to be player one or who gets the last cookie in the jar. They’d usually settle it, fair and square, with a game (except that her older sister would usually cheat). I was an only child to my mother, but I’ve done some digging and found that I do have siblings in Japan. Hell, none of them knew I existed. I took a step only to find myself stumbling forward, my daughter having been able to keep herself standing with the help of the island, while I may have used her as leverage. The pain in my thigh was all I needed to tell what happened: my own son stabbed me and I don’t know if I should be proud or annoyed. That was underhanded, after all. “Don’t you fucking dare interrupt.” Really, Anaïs, why is our son such a huge bitch? I’d skin him then and there if he wasn’t our son. Hyun-ji just helped me up. “I’m fine,” I told her.

Ignoring the pain, I turned to face my son, prying the knife out of my thigh. Damn that hurt. I should have kept it in there if I don’t want to bleed to death. “Hyun-ji, call an ambulance. Tell them there was an injury.” I stared back at my son whose unblinking eyes were trained on mine. He has his mother’s eyes, narrow and pointed. It made him all the more menacing to those around him, apparently, which is evidenced by his lack of friends. The others are probably just tolerating him. “But dad--”

“Now,” I kept my voice firm. She doesn’t have to see whatever will happen next, so the least I could do is to send her away in the meantime. I listened to her footsteps recede. My son remained unmoving, every muscle in his body still, until he smirked. Maybe he knows, that we should finally settle this like the animals we were. From one psychopath to another. He’d understand. I’d understand. That there’s only one way for us to settle our differences. 

He lunges forward, arms outstretched and what the fuck is that a small knife? Really, how prepared is my son to kill? I’m proud, frankly, that he’s even aiming for my ribs--a stab through the lungs could be fatal to me, but he’d need to be precise, or it’ll only stab a bone. I immediately took a side step ignoring the pain from the injury and motioned for the magnets to wrap around him. It didn’t take me long to render him immobile. “Of course you’d use these--magnets, because it’s all you’re ever good for. Without it, you’re nothing. You couldn’t even protect mom, you couldn’t even keep her from harm. You’re useless, dad, usele--” Well, it’s my turn to lunge forward and pull him into a hug. It’s not something I do, ever, but I may have to start, because I’ll be taking care of them both from now on. “Get off me.” Of course, he would protest. He is like me, who does not like them either. But I see Anaïs do it and he seemed fine with that. “You and I are aware of what we are and because of that, we are bound to never agree. Maybe out of pride, or maybe out of narcissism, or maybe because we just want to prove to the other that only one could be the best. And because of it, I can never do what Anaïs could, and that is, to give you both the love and care you deserve. All I ask, is for you to let me try to understand. In honor of your mother, I will do everything in my power, to carry out and ensure that what Anaïs wanted from you both to achieve will be fulfilled.” I really want to drink right now and hear Anaïs. At the very least her voice could comfort me in these sappy times.

“Fuck you, Daiki.” Oh wow did he really disown me as a father, now that Anaïs is not around? This brat. He is truly my son. “Love you too, son.” 

I pulled away and took a few steps back before undoing the magnets. I wouldn’t want him to stab me again, so I had to limp backwards towards the exit. “I’m not going to fucking stab you, you idiot.” You already did, so what stops you from doing it again? I kept watch has he walked past me and out of the room. Funny how the family quickly turns dysfunctional with only one member gone. Well. She is the most important member, after all. The true MVP. I stumbled towards the alcohol cabinet and grabbed a bottle before heading to the couch. 

Soon enough, the paramedics arrived, tending to my wound. I was already drunk by then, the alcohol numbing most of the pain so they didn’t really have to give me anesthesia. They kept saying things but their voices were garbled and I have no fucking idea what the fuck they’re talking about. Though, one remained crystal clear and I knew all too well who it belonged to.

“You did well. I’m proud of you.”

#daiki kwon #oc chatroom reset 1 #writing #mirrors #snippet #anais park #meet their children #jing-sae kwon #hyun-ji kwon #magnets are basically #imagine the shit on dr octopus #now make it faster #thinner #but more flexible #and more EPIC

[okimargarvez]

EVERY FAREWELL BRINGS WITH IT A NEW BEGINNING- Wheels up

Original title: Ogni addio porta con sé un nuovo inizio.

Prompt: 13x01, 13x05.

Warning: character’ death.

Genre: angst, family, romantic, drama, friendship.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, Emily Prentiss, Jennifer Jareau, Tara Lewis, Stephen Walker, Spencer Reid, David Rossi, Matt Simmons, Mark, Diana Reid, Will LaMontagne, other BAU family members.

Pairing: Garvez, Emily x Mark, JJ x Will, Spencer x Maeve, Matt x Kristy.

Note: 2 oneshot.

Legend: 💏😘🔦🐶⚰.

Song mentioned: none.

Note: I written this almost a year ago, before watching the 13th Season Premiere. There is a second part, dedicated on episode 13x05 (Lucky strikes). What I wanted to see. I’ve tried to write as it was a screenplay. Less descriptions and more dialogues.

Every Farewell Bring With It A New Beginning- Masterlist

GARVEZ STORIES

EVERY FAREWELL BRINGS WITH IT A NEW BEGINNING

 Previously

A very loud noise, indeed, more than one. The bang of exploding tires, first the front ones and then the rear wheels. The screeching brakes of the asphalt.

A female voice: -Is everyone OK?-

-Yeah.- another woman, after a break of consultation. Sighs of relief filled the cockpits of both vehicles.

Then a sudden and blinding light. Another danger lurking. Not even time to scream. Again, a cacophony of sounds horrifying. The metal being bent by the impact. The glass that are shattered; some splinters sticking into the skin, causing superficial wounds and bleeding.

 Wheels up

Start a new gig: moaning giving way to genuine complaints.

On its own, separate from others, was hear a broken voice. Far. -Guys, what's happened?-. She doesn't get an answer. She's afraid to try again. But again, the woman speaks through a mobile miraculously survived. -Are you okay? Please give me a sign!-. sob, pulled up the nose, another sob. -Emily? JJ? Rossi? Tara? Alvez? Walker?-. It seems almost a list, a roll-call for only absents. The order isn't really random.

Anything.

Then fingers quickly press the keys, outgoing call -911, what's your emergency? -. No time to let be governed by panic.

-I'm an FBI agent, my colleagues have been hit during a mission, I need at least three ambulances at the address which I'm forwarding to you, NOW! - despite good intentions she yells and screams a bit 'too much.

-We will immediately did. Can you tell me if it was involved a firearm or...?- she stops the operator rudely.

-No, no! I think that it was a car accident but... just before I heard the bang of the tires bursting. It wasn't bad luck, it was deliberate.- she act is found to do the part of the profiler, that she had never wanted to be.

 The first thing she hear is a sharp pain in the chest, stretching the length of the chest. At the same time a kind of whining. Soon she realizes that she herself is producing that sound. The head is spinning, because they were overturned.

She opens her eyes and even that tiny gesture causes suffering. Next to her, at the wheel, there's Rossi, unconscious. All at once a groan, but not came from man. -Tara?- she feels her mouth dry, almost the impact had taken away all the saliva. The belts have become a prison. She tries not to panic and follow the procedures, learned too many years ago. She puts her hands on the roof, then with one can press the lock and release. She sighs of relief and gradually let go the grip with her feet. She finds herself sitting crooked. She looks again at Dave, who doesn't move.

Something, maybe her instinct tells her to stay alert. She peers in semi-darkness in search of her gun. She finds the weapon and holds it close to her. Turning back to Tara, still upside down, she makes a sign to remain silent. A thousandth after a blinding light illuminates the road and then the passenger compartment.

 She cleans the lenses with the rag, but those salty stains will not go away. Then she off her glasses and she put them on the desk. She looks blinking dot on her screen; fixed, always in the same position. Help is coming. She must think this, or go mad.

-I'm at the airport now, hold on, baby girl. Wait. In a moment I'll be with you.- she nods, but he can't see her. But she can't talk at this time. And it is strange, for she usually begins to rave when they are in trouble.

They knew it was risky. They were talking about this just a moment before it happened the incident. Mr. Scratch is the worse unsub that they had met.

The call ends with a click. But she can't afford to do another cycle of crying. She has something to do.

 Slender hands leaf through the pages covered with photos. Others, a bit older and wrinkled, cover the younger hand indicating a particular image. He portrays a man, a woman and a small child, in front of an institutional building.

-Here we had just returned from the science fair, which of course you won.- he smiles and it's funny, his mother remembers a piece of their lives that he, with an eidetic memory isn't able to remember, because it was really too small at the material time. He looks carefully one of the people, more than others.

Dad. I miss dad.

A simple thought for one with an IQ as him. But the woman's fingers shake his. She know it; she feels the same thing.

One annoying vibration forces him to open his eyes. It's his phone. The caller is Penelope. Instantly he understands that something bad happened. He stands up, moving away from the mother so she doesn't hear. Just when he presses the green button he was denied a chance to speak.

-Reid , the team had an accident... I sent the ambulances... no one answers... Derek is coming here... I...- he understands that she is in clear and justified drowsiness. He glances at the blonde woman sat on the couch.

-I'm coming.-

 She sees a metallic shimmer. She counts mentally two seconds. She hears Tara's breath and her own, they seem loud as the roar of a plane. She rushes forward and fires five shots in quick succession. She is sure that it's not the help. The watch Rossi leads the wrist says that only within minutes have passed from the accident and not even Garcia isn't so rapid.

She turns to Tara. She's fighting with belts and finally succeeds in.

She gives a kick to the last bits of the window glass, remained precariously together. She tries the door handle of the door, but the latter is deformed, and then fails to open it. Without thinking too much, she comes out straight out of the window, accumulating other scratches.

A pool of blood is spreading under the body of a man dressed all in black.

Behind her she hears Dr. Lewis shouts  -Rossi! Rossi, c'mon!-

 Hearing gunshots she feared the worst. Looking out, the glow has enabled her to understand that the victim wasn't one of her team, because it wasn't on the cars but outside.

-Are you all right?- to they it went better. They weren't overturned, but flipped on its side. -Luke?- no movement, however slight. -Walker?- she asks then, but is not likely to get any kind of response.

 The flashes light of ambulances.

The cries of the paramedics.

-There need to intubate! -

-B.P. is dropping!-

-We're losing him!-

Then they are transport on stretchers. People waiting sessions for less wounds serious watch helplessly that show.

-I'm fine, you have to help Walker, Rossi and Alvez!- the protests of one of the three women are settled with any simple gazes. -I said I'm fine, leave me!- she attracts everyone's attention.

-Madam, calm down. You had to be visited as the others. We are taking care of everyone.- the bed continues to wobble. A needle inserted gently into the skin.

Finally, peace and oblivion.

They hold hands as a few days before, when he was finally released from prison. That time he was in need of comfort and support. Today the roles have been reversed. Garcia is a strong person, despite all the tears that she annually weeps. He has never seen her like this. It had never happened something like that, a disaster that involved the safety of the whole team.

She doesn't know what to think, for those she has to pray. This time she can't believe that it happens a miracle and that's will right.

Something, a voice tells her that it's not.

Without even realizing it, she lost consciousness.

 -It was a Scratch's trap. I should have thought. I have examined all possibilities.- the brunette shakes her head to self-inflicted reproaches of her boss. A bandage covers her forehead, concealing a deep cut right on her eyebrow arch. Various scratches are scattered all over the face. The hospital gown doesn't take off one gram of her authority.

-Emily, don't say that. At best, it was our mistake. We had to think about any kind of variable. It wasn't your fault.- she repeats, but the other woman ignores her. The brunette runs a hand over her face, feeling tangibly her wounds.

-It was impossible to predict one such thing.- Rossi gives her help, but it's useless.

She keeps looking in the direction of the last bed. Empty.

 It was only a moment and no medical intervention was necessary. Never letting go they reach the room where the BAU members are hospitalized. Spencer runs from JJ.

-You already warned Will and the boys?- the blonde asks, without breaking away from the embrace, the computer technician nods.

-I... I called everyone I could. Morgan is coming too... – this doesn’t seem to surprise Prentiss. Not even Rossi, who giggles. When he arrives from the latter he realizes that it doesn’t add up. Someone is missing from the party. The smile goes off on her lips.

There is still another bed in the room. And there's nobody on it.

-Garcia...- she doesn’t remain there to hear an unpleasant story. Before disappearing, she glanced at Reid, who didn’t want to tell her what the doctor had told him while she was "absent".

The others look at her running away, sighing and exchanging eloquent looks.

 She washed her face several times with cold water, but every time she raises her eyes on the mirror, she sees a redness on her skin that doesn’t want to leave. She can’t stop crying.

She seems to hear a male voice making her name. She ignores it. But this insists, tries again. Anything. She recognized who these nuances and accent belong to, but it is only her mind that makes fun of her.

Suddenly the hallucination becomes tactile. Soon after a strange noise, like wheels on the floor; a hand is resting on her back. Big, certainly belongs to a man. And hot. She can feel heat even through layers of fabric.

She turns slowly, and he releases his grip.

Sitting in a wheelchair there is special agent Luke Alvez.

 -So, what we do?- the brunette went for a moment in the bathroom and when she came out wearing the gear brought by Garcia. Yes, she had thought of everything...

-We can’t do anything right now, Emily...- the paternal and condescending tone of the elder irritates her. She knows perfectly well that this is irrational sensations, but this changes things a little.

-Rossi is right. You have to rest, you are still under observation... – she chases the boy's words with her hand.

-You shouldn’t be here, rather. You should be with your mother. Good heavens, you're just back in freedom and just a few hours ago we freed Diana! What the hell are you doing in the hospital?- everyone has understood the reason for their boss's behavior; nobody takes it too much.

-We are a family, have you forgotten it? We have to stay united.- even the blonde has to add the dose. What no one says is especially at times like these.

Quick disordered flashbacks pass before their eyes.

The attack in New York.  Hotch disappeared.

Garcia in the operating room. -The bullet entered the chest and rebounded into the abdomen. She lost a lot of blood. But we managed to repair the injuries. A centimeter higher and would have crossed her heart but could be discharged in a couple of days.-.

Spencer kidnapped by a bipolar fool. -Dad, don’t do it!... Shut up, son.-.

Savannah hit while she was pregnant. Outside a hospital.

The funeral of Emily. That of the chief of the section, Erin Strauss.

-The superhighway of information is closed.- Elle almost dead.

-We have a case... it concerns Gideon...-.

JJ kidnapped and tortured while she was pregnant. Mateo Cruz, chief of the section, half dead.

Hailey killed by the Reaper. And Jack save by miracle.

The anguish, then the relief. Sometimes only despair that fades too slowly. The pain that becomes a friend to cling to.

There have already been so many times, yet each one is always different. Probability doesn’t mean certainty, but possibility. Hope.

- We must think only of Stephen. We have to pray that everything is going good.-

 -Luke?! Oh God! Oh God! You're... you're...- the man understands what she can’t say aloud. He shakes his head, without the shadow of a smile. Then he raises his leg to show her that it's nothing serious.

-It's just a dislocation. Really, Garcia. I'll just have to use crutches for a while.- now he tries to smile to reassure her. The comfort, however, lasts very little.

-Oh, then it's Walker!- for a moment he would like to protest, to say that as usual she would have preferred it was him, the one in danger of life, because he had no one who would mourn his death, while Stephen had a family, wife and sons. He was only the newbie and he would remain forever. But luckily, he manages to hold back and drive away a thought that is so selfish, yet sensible.

-Breath, Garcia!- he tries to take her by the shoulders, but from that position is too difficult. He sees that look she had during the Reid hearing. -It's in the operating room, right now.- thin consolation. That bad presentiment that has haunted her since Prentiss showed her the false message sent to Derek, is now stronger than ever.

-I have to... Oh my God! Monica and the children! They are already arrived? She will need help... - she feels herself missing again. The head turns like a crazy top. The legs are too heavy. She can’t speak anymore. Luke assists helplessly, fearing she may fall, but not knowing what to do. She leans against the wall and takes a breath. -You remember... what you told me?- she just stares him. -Now I want to cry and that someone can stand me while I do.- the tears are already peeping from the pupils and it is clear that she will not accept a no for an answer. Luke smiles sweetly. He doesn’t know how he managed to make such a confession that day. And certainly, she hadn’t taken him seriously. But now it is he who takes his responsibilities. Penelope lowers her height and hugs him. The masculine hands gently caress her back. He trembles, strives not to cry in turn.

A few sentences whisper in her ear, while a hand moves through her hair. -I'm sure you did everything you could, all the necessary calls.- her biggest enemy is herself, and it's always been so obvious. She will never be enough, up to her expectations. There will always be something that she could have done but was not able to. Something to think about. She and Prentiss are very similar. – Stop crying, stop. It's not your fault, Penelope.- and she notices once again how Luke is not Derek. The latter would have allowed her to let off steam until exhaustion. The Newbie no; he wants her next to him at the crime scene; he has the courage to tell her truth that she would prefer (it would be easier) to ignore. -It will not help Walker survive.-

 -But why are they putting so much? To wedge a leg, it doesn’t take all this time …- the anxiety has spread throughout the room. Nobody tries to comfort others. Even Spencer gave up after receiving a glare for coming out with one of his quotes. -It says no news is good news.-.

Then the noise of wheels on the floor and the door that opens makes everyone jump. Enter Luke, in a wheelchair. But even more shocking is that to push it is Garcia. They see that she cried, but this doesn’t surprise anyone.

-Are there any news?- he immediately shoots that question, aware that otherwise he will not do it again. Both Emily and Rossi shake their heads. The wait continues. Silence seems almost unreal. Only JJ notices the hand of the former task force agent gently gripping the arm of their computer technician. For a second, she wonders if something has happened between those two and promises to ask her friend. When all this will be another bad memory.

But then the door swings open and this time a doctor enters, still wearing a bloody smock, headphones and a mask. Indecipherable expression. -Are you colleagues of Agent Walker?- so many nodding heads, hands clasping each other, in a gesture of prayer, intertwined fingers. -We have done everything possible, I'm sorry, the head injury was too extensive.- the rest of the doctor's words is confused in their minds.

He can’t really be dead.

We had just met him.

Monica, poor Monica.

It's my fault, my fault, mine. Mine.

After a few minutes the ambassador of misfortunes comes out and no one can even say anything. Penelope glances at the door, but before she can even think of escaping, the hold on her arm tightens and takes her back to her duty.

They are a family, for better or for worse.

 The cry of the child lasts very little. Two pairs of arms are already ready to tighten and console him. A couple and a half. -You should not lift weights, have you forgotten what the doctor said?- the husband's sensible words don’t sound good before a mother who just wants to embrace her own fruit. -Honey, let me, I don’t make him fall!- a moment of resistance and then surrender.

She sits on the couch, abandoning herself to dead weight.

-Mummy, do you want me to help you put the jacket?- the blond child with glasses bigger than him make her smile.

-Sure, my love.-

 -I know, I know if you could you have been here.- she walks across the room, making the same route.

-I know you, Em, you want to make everyone believe that you're well, being strong enough to overcome anything by yourself... but you're not alone, love, ok? There are me and there are your colleagues. Nobody expects you to be the next Iron Lady.- but she shakes her head.

-Mark, it was my fault, if Stephen died! I'm the chief of this unit... Hotch...- he stops her before she can say other nonsense.

-Don’t say something like "Hotch would not allow it". He is a human being, like you. Such development couldn’t be foreseen.- the man on the other end of the line sighs. He passes a hand on the head. -Listen to me, I'll be there tonight. Okay?- this time she nods, but he can’t see her anyway.

She end the call without adding anything. She sits down, takes off her shoes and massages her feet. She is no longer used to putting on her heels. She far prefers something more convenient and practical.

 Trying not to be too brusquely he drives away the woman's hand.

-Mom, enough. So you're suffocating me.- he tries to loosen the tie a bit. He feels strangled. He is having a crisis. It didn’t happen to him for a while. He thought he was already free of stress for having spent six months in prison but reading at the speed of light or having a volcanic mind doesn’t save him from the human emotions of ordinary mortals. In that sphere he is vulnerable, just like everyone else.

One name seems to pass quickly in front of him. Maeve. He feels a caress on his arm. It could be a breath of wind, entered through the window that his mother left open. Before he can even take a step, the new nurse intuits what he is thinking and closes it. Yet that shiver doesn’t go away.

I'm with you, Spencer.

 -You're very well dad, really.- a laugh.

The man doesn’t turn around, he continues to admire his reflection in the mirror. He sees all the wrinkles, some white hair despite the color. And yet... not bad. Overall, it could be put much worse.

The female hand rests on his shoulder and forces him to turn around. -I'm sorry to distract you from contemplation, but you'll be late for the ceremony...- he looks at his partner and daughter, their faces both anxious.

That dress he would have preferred to put on another occasion.

 She isn’t convinced of her choice, but she doesn’t find anything better. She ponders the stupidity of the need to concentrate negative emotions on clothes that society considers suitable for the occasion.

-Tara?- the man says her name. His tone is delicate, he knows how much her sister is suffering, but she is the strong one, who doesn’t show her weaknesses. She spends her life listening to the thoughts and problems of others, while she doesn’t even consider hers. She turns to look at him. -It's time to go.- he offers her his arm and after a minute hesitation, she accepts.

 He fastens his shoes and then look at the bed. The dog is looking at him curiously, bending his head following his movements. -What's up, girl? Don’t you like it?- he using the arms to bring the wheelchair next to the mattress. -No even I wanted to put clothes like that.- he sighs, for a moment losing in his memories.

The bell rings.

He gives Roxy a caress. -She is here.- he announces, the voice a bit trembling. He moves to the entrance and opens the door. A blonde woman, entirely dressed in black, with a hat of the same color on her head, is smiling to him sadly.

-Are you ready?- she asks him, staying on the threshold. The man nods. She turns around and turns back. -We see you later, Roxy.- she greets the dog and then helps him to get off those few steps, then to get on board the car. She puts in the driver's seat. It's a strange thing, it was usually the opposite, but lately, because of the fracture, she was often found in this situation.

-Penelope...- he puts a hand on hers, already on the steering wheel. The woman turns to look at him, tightening her lips. -Are you okay?- she shakes her head, deciding to be honest. -Me too.- he says, intertwining their fingers and giving her a hold. -We will get also through this.-

-Do you think so, Luke? I'm not so sure.- she starts, without breaking the contact. -We go ahead, because there isn’t much else that can be done... as to overcome it... no.- she shakes the head again and she is necessary not to cry, not to ruin the make-up.

 Standing in front of that closed coffin, everyone tries to stand up as they can. JJ clings to Will, Rossi to his daughter, Tara and Emily remain close, Reid alone (or almost), with his hands in his pockets, Garcia behind the wheelchair of Luke, a hand on the man's shoulder, that of him on hers, without looking at each other.

In the front row a woman embraces two children, a boy and a girl, who can’t stop crying.

-The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.- a man dressed in ceremonial clothes pronounces in a solemn tone. A priest, a great friend of the Walker family. He baptized Ely and Maya, celebrating the marriage of Stephen and Monica. He didn’t think he would survive that boy who spent his afternoons helping him with the parish, instead of playing the park like everyone else.

The box is lowered, and the pit filled with earth.

It's over another day.

 -We need to take that bastard!- the brunette slams a fist on the round table, making the other members of the team jump. That empty chair stands out terribly. -It's my fault, if Stephen is dead.- now her voice seems to come from beyond the grave.

-Emily, it's not true...- the blonde expert in communication tries to contradict her.

-Yes, that is. I'm not just talking about Scratch trap. I let him come here, I wanted him to be part of this group, and now Monica no longer has a husband, two boys no longer have a father... and we've lost a fantastic person. I want the head of the son of a bitch, and I want it before this month ends!- with the last cry, she gets out of the room. With strange glances, the others gradually get up and leave. Only the computer technician and the former agent of the task force remain.

-Do you need help, Newbie?- since the incident she changed attitude, indeed, she took care of him, making him a nurse, helping him in the kitchen, taking Roxy out... basically they attended a lot in the non-working hours and have discovered to appreciate each other's company. Luke has become used too easily in the presence of the woman and at this moment he realizes that when he gets better, everything will return as before and he doesn’t know if he's ready or if he wants it. On the contrary, he knows perfectly well that he doesn’t want to start spending his free time alone. Or without her, which is about the same thing.

-No...- he answers after what seems an eternity. He returns to her own papers. -Penelope...- he finds the courage to call her, the blonde raises her head to look at him, but then her cell phone starts to sing. The man shakes his head and sighs.

-Matt?- she asks surprised. -What?- she turns her back to him, she is distracted for a moment. When she looks around, Luke is gone.

 -Welcome to the team, Simmons. I hope you'll help us capture Lewis.- the woman shakes her hand. The man with Asian features reciprocates the grasp and smiles.

-Thank you, Prentiss. I hope so too.-

 It's all dark and already the thing appears quite suspicious. JJ gives a boost to the man, forcing him to enter. On her face a strange smile. As soon as he sets foot in the meeting room, the light is rekindled and the sight hits him. The others are also stunned, all except the blonde.

-Surprise!- shouts a voice that he knows well. On the round table there are several glasses already filled with a semi-transparent liquid and even a cake with the word Welcome in uppercase.

The former newcomer can’t hold back a grimace of annoyance. Garcia can’t but celebrate the entry of a person in the team; pity that she hadn’t reserved such a consideration to him. Indeed, all the opposite. He notices with horror that he is jealous of her. Every smile, every minimal gesture that the woman dedicates to Simmons, is unbearable.

He doesn’t even listen to the usual proclamations and so he is taken aback when a female hand is resting on his shoulder.

-Are we going, Luke?- he nods only, fearing what he might unwittingly say.

 He opens the door trying to make as little noise as possible. It's night. He doesn’t want to wake his partner. He climbs the stairs moving like a thief or an assailant and the idea almost makes him laugh, risking ruining everything. Arrived at the last step he almost falls due to a toy; he bites his tongue not to say a dirty word.

He opens the door and contemplates his children sleeping for a few seconds, then moves into the bedroom and does the same with his wife. Then he undresses, wears his pajamas and finally slips under the covers.

Sigh of joy.

This is home.

 -Are you sure everything's ok?- they're waiting for the elevator together. The ex-newcomer tries to keep his distance for what he is allowed by a wheelchair; he begins to strongly hate this machine. It makes him feel too vulnerable and made him discover what it feels like to have Penelope Garcia in their everyday life, knowing that it will end too soon and that it isn’t enough anyway. -Do you need help later, with Roxy?- the woman asks after waiting for the answer to the first question, in vain. She doesn’t understand his strange attitude of these last hours.

-No.- he finally answers, always closed. She looks up and pretends nothing. Silence, they only hear the buzz of the elevator that is coming. Finally, the doors open. They go up, he avoids her help and Penelope doesn’t know what to think. They remain silent for a few seconds, then she blurts out: -Listen, what's your problem? Say it immediately and let's get it over.- she puts her arms crossed and forces him to look at her.

-Nothing...- he begins in an unconvincing tone. -just that... when Prentiss came back you gave her a toast, Walker… you welcomed him with open arms- he had a hard time saying that name -and Simmons... you gave him a welcome party- she starts to guess where he wants to go, but she lets him end. -I'm the only one who didn’t have this honor.- he closes his eyes and shakes his head, just wanting that the doors open and can go down. In any case he can’t drive, so he will not easily get rid of the woman.

Penelope has a smug smile on her face. -Oh no, no, I can’t believe it!- she exclaims with exaggerated tone and theatrical way. -You are... jealous of the attention I gave to Matt?- it annoys him that she called him for his own name. -You are completely out of it, a little sounder- she warns him that they have reached the parking floor. He pushes the wheelchair outside and heads for his car. -But you know that he has four children?- she emphasizes the number.

He sighs, desperate. He should have found a way to restrain himself, but it's too late now. -Of course, I know, I'm the godfather of the twins.- he confesses. She is so surprised that she stops and stands in front of him to scrutinize his expression more carefully and catch him in the face of a lie. -It's a great friend of mine, we've known each other since the days of the academy...- she starts walking again and then helps him to settle in the passenger seat. He no longer opens his mouth halfway and the blonde decides to respect his colleague's silence. -I've known him for a long time.- he suddenly begins to speak, while they are still at an intersection. -So no, I'm not jealous of him.- she turns to look at him confused.

-But then…- he doesn’t give her the chance to reply and even the light turns green. She press the foot on the clutch, then on the accelerator.

Luke sighs, totally resigned. -I'm jealous of you.- he no longer has the courage to look at her and not even her. -Now, please, if you want me at least a shred of love, don’t say anything, leave me at home, slip away and... forget what I told you.- she nods, but knows she will not.

TAGS: @theshamelessmanatee @itsdawnashlie @talesoffairies  @kiki-krakatoa  @gcchic @arses21434 @jarmin @kathy5654 @martinab26 @thisonekid @thenibblets @perfectly-penelope @ambrosiaswhispers @reidskitty13 @jenf42 @gracieeelizabeth27 @silviajajaja @smalliemichelle99 @charchampagne14 @thinitta  @skisun  @myhollyhanna23 @thenorthernlytes @garvezz @mercedes-maldonado

#garvez #penelope garcia #luke alvez #criminal minds #cm #13x01 #wheels up #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #tara lewis #spencer reid #david rossi #stephen walker #matt simmons

[filmtrash]

a few things about 13 reasons why *contains spoilers*

not trying to start a debate about 13 reasons why or anything i feel like anything i say about it people will come for me. i keep getting asks/messages about it and thought i’d just answer everything in one post. just a disclaimer to say that i watched it because i watch everything. i also think it’s hard to make up your own opinion on the show because everyone has an opinion on it and it’s hard not to be influenced by that. not even tagging anything, this is just for my followers who were interested to know my thoughts. 

things that were okay:

the justin and clay friendship/brother relationship. i think everyone could tell from the last season that justin was not bryce. justin’s character development was interesting to watch. clay basically saving him and then him saving clay. all of my favourite moments from the series involved them to. ‘i need you. please.’ ‘why did you stay?’ ‘because you said you needed me.’ ‘your parents said we could drive together and they’ll follow in another one of the prius’s’ clay teaching justin how to tie a tie, clay not wanting to go to the dance but justin acting like a sad puppy until clay agreed to go and of course when clay asked if justin wanted to be adopted by him and his family

when mr. porter was on the stand. he was the only one i truly connected to when he was on the stand and the only one that made me cry.

clay doing his speech at hannah’s memorial was the only clay/hannah exchange that didn’t annoy the fuck out of me and one of the only times throughout the whole series i felt CONNECTED and MOVED by the story. nothing was confusing. nothing was trying to attach itself to the last series. it was just honest and reflective of anyone who has lost a loved one in those circumstances. 

when they were at the dance and ‘the night we met’ came on and they all found each other and danced and cried together. the purest moment of the whole series. 

things that weren’t okay:

every time alex and olivia were in the same scene i was so confused who was who

they clearly made this series because the first one was deemed successful and i don’t feel like it served any real purpose in representing anyone who can be seen in those characters

i get katherine langford is the star vehicle but she could have still been in the series through the additional flashbacks. i literally couldn’t stand her just appearing everywhere and asking ominous questions

if you listened to hannah’s dialogue as the ‘ghost’, none of it made any sense. when clay says ‘i’m scared of forgetting you’, then hannah says ‘then don’t.’ thank you hannah. now you said that clay will stop all future events and future interactions with people that will effect your prominence in his life. 

i literally feel like nothing happened until episode 11 and then so much happened at once

the producers and creators of 13 reasons why, you can’t try and tackle every problem there is in america. maybe you can try and create different series under the same title; ‘13 reasons why’ but following different issues. you already handled rape and suicide in one series, throwing the subject of mass shootings in there at the end is too much. if you want to address that problem, get a whole new cast, a whole new circumstance. you want this to be real and reflective. not all of this would happen to one school. 

i don’t really see how it was beneficial to build the backstory of a school mass shooter for 13 episodes yet have no justice for hannah and no justice for jessica and all the other rape victims.

jessica says she felt better and like she got some sort of closure but i don’t feel like still having to be in the same school hall as her rapist is justice. 

every witness got completely done in on the stand and i really think it would discourage all people in a similar situation to speak out. 

um the zach and hannah summer lovin? literally what the fuck? so unrealistic it drives me insane. the excuse for it not being on the tapes was ‘was everything on your tape clay?’ and ‘i was trying to protect myself.’ lousy writing and a lousy way to prove zach is a good guy. we get it. he’s one of the ‘good’ ones. that whole part was so far-fetched. also it’s just another massive shit on clay to be honest. hannah always made out clay was some rare angel sent from heaven too good and pure for hannah when she seemed to have a much better relationship with zach. 

i spoke to someone the other day and they said they’ve read the books and apparently the purpose of the tapes was for hannah to clear her name and tell her own story etc, which i never would have got from either season. i remember a line in season 2 when clay asks hannah why she did it and hannah says something along those lines ^ but it just seemed like a lousy attempt to patch up previous discourse PLUS even after her saying that, i just don’t buy it from watching the series. when someone loses another to suicide, there is pain, suffering and mourning. that is ENOUGH. these people will be destroying themselves enough over what they could and couldn’t have done to save them, they don’t need it to be told to them on a recording they can listen to repeatedly. if hannah wanted to increase suicide awareness etc, i feel like the tapes only increase the chances of it happening more (alex is an example. clay is an example. justin is an example.)

i feel so uncomfortable by the fact clay, courtney, alex, zach, porter are grouped together with bryce. by being on the tapes they all share blame. even though the only true villain is bryce. all the other people are good people that made a mistake. bryce literally reminisced about raping hannah after she killed herself and got hard over it. i just can’t get my head round the fact they’re portrayed as equals by all having a tape.

literally nothing got solved from the end of season 1 to the end of season 2 apart from the fact bryce had a restraining order. 

they spent two seasons talking about hannah and jess’ rape, tyler was sexually assaulted in the last half an hour of the series and that was that basically 

here’s what’s going to happen. there’s going to be another mass shooting and someone’s going to think they’re clay jenson and go out and try and stop it and end up getting killed before the mass shooter continues to kill everyone else. clay jenson in no lifetime would have been able to stop a mass shooting. also why the fuck did he let tyler get in a car. if someone is 2 seconds away from taking hundreds of lives, they should not be free in this world 

they set everything up for a 3rd season and literally, fuck off

my predictions:

there’ll be a third season *scrunches fist* (i’ve seen a lot of stuff about it being urged to cancel a 3rd season because of all the things they did wrong this season)

something will happen with justin and his mum’s boyfriend because of the whole vengeful glare outside monet’s

alex and zach will get together 

the whole series will probably be centred around tyler

#mymovies