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soobszzn · 9 months

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distant affection

synopsis: doing everyday tasks wasn’t a hassle when jungkook was with you - even if that meant you were miles apart.

pairing: ldr!jungkook x reader

genre: fluff, established + long distance relationship

content/warnings: long distance relationship and all things associated, mentions of food, jungkook is still an idol, brief (lol) mention of jungkook and his sexy calvin klein endorsement, use of “my love” in a teasing (& affectionate) context

wc: 1.8k

a/n: sorry this is so late!!! love u, S🌸

you knew navigating a long distance relationship with the jeon jungkook would have its ups and downs. obviously, the time difference messed with you both. one person would be asleep when the other was awake, and even if you were awake at the same time, one of you would usually have to attend to other things.

the both of you made it work, though. you’d send each other pictures throughout the day and squeeze in video calls wherever you could. you’d mail each other gifts when you couldn’t be together for special occasions. when jungkook had a couple days off, you’d use it to have long movie dates online in which he would usually fall asleep first. but you didn’t mind.

during his longer breaks, he’d always make it a point to come visit you. the two of you would go sight-seeing in your own city or take a short trip to the next town over. you loved doing anything and everything with him, but the most enjoyable moments were in the mundane. you loved moments where you’d scroll on your phones together on the couch or tease each other while you brushed your teeth before bed.

saying goodbye was always the hardest. there wasn’t anything that could really make missing him hurt less. but while helping him pack during his last visit, you took advantage of when he snuck off to the bathroom and stole a hoodie out of his suitcase. you’d hoped he hadn’t noticed.

munching on your midday meal, you scrolled on your phone before getting a video call from your boyfriend. it was a welcome surprise, so you answered right away.

“hey! what are you doing awake right now? isn’t it like five in the morning?” his phone was looking at the ceiling and you heard music playing in the background. colorful lights speckled his ceiling, and you knew he was again enjoying the galaxy light projector you gifted him last christmas.

“i have a free day tomorrow! and i really wanted to talk to you!” he yelled, indicating he was far from his phone.

you smiled to yourself, appreciating your boyfriend and his sweet gesture. you guessed that with how busy he was recently, he’d be dead tired by the time he came home. but, the fact that you were the first thing on his mind made your heart leap. you then heard the faint music in the background cease, and watched as jungkook propped his phone up, front camera now facing him.

he was leaning on his kitchen counter, sleeve tattoo fully on display. his hair was long and fluffy, his bangs reaching his eyes. you could tell he was tired, but nothing could hide how handsome he was.

you noticed him stare intently into the phone screen. “what are you staring at?” you questioned with a laugh.

“you’re eating lunch right now, right? i’m hungry! let’s eat together!” he said excitedly. jungkook then adjusted his phone so that you had the perfect view of him busy at his stove. you watched as he began tossing things into his pan. you chuckled softly.

“what are you cooking?” you asked curiously, your head now resting in your hand.

“i’m just throwing stuff together, see?” he answered, now panning his phone to what looked like fried rice.

you giggled, now panning your phone to the makeshift fried rice you made for yourself just earlier. the two of you erupted into laughter.

“pretend i made that for you, okay?” you teased, setting your phone back down and taking another bite.

as jungkook finished preparing his meal, you asked him about his schedule for the day. he complained that he had a lot to do in the upcoming days because he had an international schedule set for next week.

“are you sure that’s not just code for coming to visit me?” you half-joked. you knew he was currently busy with solo activities, and it hadn’t been too long since he last visited. but there was always a small part of you that hoped any time he left korea, it was because he was on his way to you.

eventually, he ended up at his kitchen table, phone propped up as if you were sitting across from each other. after taking his first bite, he exclaimed with amazement at his own kitchen creation.

“wahh! wow!” he cried, intentionally being overdramatic. you laughed at his silly theatrics, but you found it all endearing nonetheless.

“want a bite?” he teased, holding a spoonful up to his phone. you proceeded to imitate receiving a bite, and the two of you laughed.

while enjoying your respective meals, you continued to chat about small and pointless things. despite the uneventful topics of conversation, eating together like this made you crave real dates with him. ones where he’d take you to a fancy restaurant for dinner or a small cafe for some coffee. you made a mental note to take him to a new brunch place that opened up the next time he visited.

“what else are you planning to do today?” he asked, making his way to his sink. you followed suit, thinking it would be cute to wash dishes “together.”

“whatever you’re planning to do today.” you replied warmly.

the two of you then washed your dishes simultaneously. your video call now filled with the sounds of water running and dishes clanking, with jungkook occasionally breaking into song or humming a familiar tune.

“i have some laundry i need to fold actually,” he mused afterwards, taking a quick scan of his home.

“i do too!” you replied excitedly at the convenient coincidence.

now, with both phones propped up in your respective living rooms, the two of you dove into your piles of laundry. you chatted about new music you were listening to, books you wanted to read, and the new spider-man movie that jungkook was excited to see.

when jungkook began tackling his pile of underwear, he started showcasing the new pieces he received from calvin klein.

“oh my god! what are those!” you laughed. the two of you giggled at the brightly coloured pairs that he was holding up to his phone. although not his typical style, you were glad one of his solo activities included being the endorser for such a popular - and sexy - brand.

you finished folding first, so you adjusted yourself comfortably on your sofa and watched jungkook continue. jungkook took a glance at you and smiled to himself.

“what?” you questioned with a pout.

“you look cute,” he answered with a soft chuckle. you were cuddled up on your couch, encompassed snugly within a throw blanket jungkook had previously gifted you. you hid your face in your hands bashfully.

as he finished folding his clothes, jungkook opted to play some of his music recommendations through his television. he’d softly sing along as you listened intently, chiming in with short remarks here and there.

“i like this one,” you commented after one of the songs ended.

“ah! why don’t i just sing for you, my love?” he suggested suddenly with a teasing tone.

“ew, no, don’t call me that!” you replied with fake disgust. you and jungkook would typically just call one another by your names, so the sudden use of a nickname both surprised and flustered you.

“but go ahead then, mr. jeon.” you continued, previous shyness now replaced with an intrigued arrogance.

after quickly setting up his karaoke machine, jungkook then turned to you smugly with his microphone in hand. he started out his late night - or perhaps early morning - performance with a couple songs related to inside jokes the two of you shared. you watched fondly as jungkook happily sang along to the upbeat pop music.

“don’t go overboard and strain your voice,” you gently reminded him.

“of course, my love.” he teased you again, with a wink this time. you playfully shot him a repulsed look in response.

following his high-spirited warm-up session, he then transitioned to singing his own music. in an attempt to impress your world-class entertainer of a boyfriend, you would sing along using bts fanchants and passionately wave around an imaginary army bomb. jungkook - while still seated on his sofa - would mimic the choreography as he ventured through his groups’ discography.

after running through a couple bts tracks, jungkook then transitioned to serenading you with songs he knew were your favourites. you gazed at him warmly, now completely immersed in him and his voice. although you’d hear him speak practically every day, you never tired of his soft and angelic singing.

through your now heavy eyelids, you noticed your boyfriends’ energy start to deplete as well. he had stopped dancing and moving around as dynamically as earlier, now only swaying back and forth on his couch. you were still comfortably curled up on your couch, now fighting the urge to slip into an afternoon nap.

“are you getting sleepy?” he asked softly after finishing another song.

“no, not at all,” you mumbled, shaking your head at him with a pout.

“alright, you liar.” he taunted playfully. you noticed him place his microphone down beside him, perhaps signalling that he was finished with his karaoke performance.

“wait! one more song!” you cried out in a sudden panic. you didn’t want this moment of bliss to end so soon. the two of you hadn’t had such a long call together in a while, so you wanted to indulge in this moment as much as you could.

“please. just one more song.” you implored, trying to persuade him with forced “puppy dog eyes.”

jungkook conceded with a sly smile, picking up his microphone again. then, ever so swiftly, you heard a slow and soft tune start to play. you allowed yourself to close your eyes, completely immersing yourself in jungkook’s melodic and affectionate final serenade to you.

before the song even concluded, you had fully fallen asleep on your couch. jungkook noticed this, finishing up the song quietly so as to not wake you suddenly. his lips curled into a soft grin as he watched you fall deeper into your slumber.

after tidying up his living room, he made his way to his bedroom with the hopes of getting some rest of his own. he propped you up beside him on his bed, as if the two of you were sleeping next to one another.

then, before succumbing to his own heavy eyelids, he jokingly whispered into his phone: “by the way, i know you have my hoodie.”

but he hoped you hadn’t heard.

1K notes · View notes

omar-rudeberg · 15 days

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Hi Lili! I just wanted to say that I love your fics and I've re-read them multiple times each and they still feel just as special in a re-read as they do the first time around. Inside is no exception. It was so beautiful, loving, but heartbreaking and devastating at the same time (I even shed a tear – or five). It really feels like you just get Wilmon, you know?

And it got me wondering how you think their first time having sex once they're back together (for good now) would happen post episode 6. Like in terms of their feelings and would it be rushed or slow, etc. I'm just really curious about your thoughts on the matter :)

Thank you for sharing your beautiful words and thoughts (even in tags) with us 💜

hello my beautiful beautiful human bean what a love letter you've left me ?! hearing you like and are moved by and go back to my silly little words? wild. astounding. unbelievable. thank you for reading & thank you for coming here to tell me. ahhh 'get' wilmon !! is there any greater accomplishment !! i sure hope you keep feeling this way !!

i've been pondering your second question for so long and i've landed somewhere i hope you agree with...

(fuck me this got more detailed than i bargained for, here have a read more whoopsie daisy)

i have this gut feeling that the first time they have sex post-canon (wild that we can now call it that !!) is ... weird. different. i don't know i can't really explain it, but why i think so is that their intimacy has always been this like, almost homing beacon for their relationship you know? it's been a northern star, a sturdy monolith of everything they feel and need from the other that they can't put into words, a balm that soothes any rough edges that arise from the many many incompatibilities of their individual existences.

it's been tender and exploratory, sweet and gripping, urgent and learnèd and all-encompassing, but it's never been ... slow? it's never been particuarly awkward. they've never had time, really, because with the exception of maybe the fish scene, every time they've had sex has been either a hello or a desperate goodbye.

all this to say that i think the first time they find to have sex post-s6 - and for some reason i picture them in simon's room when they finally get there? can't explain it - i think they fall back into this pattern of urgency and desperation and desire, but then something stops this in it's tracks. honestly i have this vision so clear of like... one of them unable to get it up the first time they want to fuck post-canon hahaha and again i can't explain it but it's true !! in my head it's wille, maybe, and it's something akin to the way - have you ever had that thing happen where you get sick right as you take leave from work to go on a holiday or something? like your body realises you don't have to be switched on for weeks and decides to give you a head cold? something akin to that. wilhelm's adrenaline has run its course and his body's not working the way it did before, it's taking a break, now. finally.

so to finally finally answer your question i think they'll want it to be fast, and suave, and smooth and sexy and dirty and similar to like ep3, but they'll be forced instead into awkward. into slow. into soothing. i picture like, lots of kissing, slow deep kissing, and nuzzling, and grinding (lord, so much grinding), and breaths fanning hot over goose-pimpled skin. i picture them slowly talking, whispering, realising they have it now - t i m e - they have time, now. they don't even have to fuck (the whole shebang) tonight if they don't want to (they do, oh they do want to but they talk about how they don't have to). they spend a lot of time not fucking anyway, just being close and naked and together. i picture them both working wille over so slowly - so gently - finding out together what places on his body react to being kissed, what has his belly pulling tight and having his dick interested, finally. i picture simon being brought to the edge once - twice, maybe - before wilhelm's finally in any state to fuck him, and then god save simon when wilhelm actually does enter him he's so hard and so sensitive and so just as;dkfjas;ldkfj;lsad

okay fuck literally everything i'm so sorry and/or you're welcome? is this what you bargained for? asd;lfj;lsadkjf

(if you made it this far go to my request for prompts next please i think i've put you in the right mindset)

#ask #anon #writing ask #fic #wilmon #yr fanfic

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theraggedygirl11 · 2 months

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Sospeso tra finzione e realtà

SUMMARY: Bojan was turned into a vampire some years before. The band met the famous photographer Damon Baker while in London and now it's time for Bojan's photoshoot, but something unpleasant happens.

PAIRING: Bojan Cvjetićanin/Kris Guštin/Damon Baker (+kind of implied poly!jo)

WARNINGS: anxiety/panic attack, blood, sex (not too explicit), angst and more angst, hurt/comfort, death/homicide mentioned, slight torture

WORDS COUNT: 4.891

LINK: AO3

NOTES: This comes from a collective work that's going on since last July or August, I don't remember. The AUs spawned on their own, we have too many and you'll find everything under the tag #vampire!bojan and #vampire!bojan storyline. So, I'd like to thank @signoraviolettavalery who supported my nocturnal brainrot in this post here, and also @touchyourblood and @nyx-aira who added a general background in this other post.

The title comes from this Italian song, feel free to go and listen to it. Here you can read the translation into English.

This is not beta-read, we die like men here! I just took what @signoraviolettavalery and I wrote, put it together and wrote something more around it

I just hope I added every tw in the tags, if something's missing, feel free to tell me and I'll add them!

* * *

“Bojan, are you sure you want to do this?” Kris asks while looking at the vampire. “You know you’ll be all alone with Damon, right? And that you’ll end up showing your vulnerable side?”

“Yes, Krisko. I’m fine, and I’ll be fine,” he reassures him before pecking his lips. “I fed on Jure this morning, I’m relaxed, I feel good, London is showing its sunny side and I’m ready to conquer the world!” He even giggles. He’s truly in a good mood and full of energy.

“Call any of us if anything happens, ok?” Kris looks at him, still worried.

“Yeah, sure, don’t worry,” Bojan winks at him, then quickly kisses the others before leaving their apartment to go and meet Damon at his house.

Damon and he already discussed about his photoshoot, so Bojan knows what he’s about to face. He’s truly relaxed, he didn’t lie to Kris. That part of his life is over, behind his back forever.

As soon as he arrives at Damon’s, he changes his clothes to the ones they chose for his photoshoot: tight leather trousers, a leather belt with a broken heart on it, an oversized shirt and an untied bowtie around his neck. Oh, he loves this outfit, it’s sexy and makes him look so much masculine, but at the same time he starts feeling uncomfortable, uneasiness crawling up his spine. The Bojan he sees in the mirror isn’t the Bojan he wants to show to the world. He notices a shade of red in his eyes and immediately changes them back to brown.

“Are you ready, honey?” Damon asks while getting closer to Bojan. “Oh, you look amazing, sweety. I could ride this cowboy any time! Or you could ride me,” he winks.

Bojan giggles. He’s now used to Damon flirting with him. He likes it. “We can go, I’m ready.”

The photoshoot starts. The poses that Bojan decides to do exhale aggressiveness and masculinity, and the more the photoshoot goes on, the more aggressive they become. He doesn’t want to, but his instincts tell him to do so, to assert his dominance over the person who’s taking pictures and the ones that will see them. He’s unconsciously showing the predator inside him that is violently ramping against the weak human surface, it wants to come out because it feels in danger. And what does an animal in a dangerous situation? It shows aggressiveness and attacks.

The moment Damon gets closer with his camera, something snaps inside Bojan. His entire body is petrified. His mind shows him a memory he thought he had locked up in the deepest corner of his mind. He’s again in front of her, she’s taking pictures of him right after she fed on him. He’s covered in blood, he’s crying and begging her because he’s feeling dizzy, he just wants her to lick the bitemarks to close them or he will bleed off.

But she keeps taking those pictures, she grins showing her fangs and her lips still stained with blood of the most vibrant shade of red. She’s in full control and the only thing he can do is stay there and hoping she will make him stop bleeding. Tears run down his face. He’s so scared, so powerless and hopeless. He wants that all that ends as soon as possible.

In the present Bojan’s eyes got red. He didn’t even notice, at least until Damon brings him back from the spiral he was falling into.

“W-What are-”

He can’t even finish the sentence. Bojan snaps back into reality and in a blink of an eye he attacks the photographer in front of him, pinning him down on the ground. The camera slides on the floor while he grabs the human’s wrists with his hands and blocks them above his head. He growls, showing his fangs in an intimidating way. Bojan’s on top of the photographer, his instincts full in control of his actions, he can’t even recognize Damon.

“B-Bojan...?” Damon whimpers, terrified.

The fog that invaded Bojan's mind and finally fades away and he can restraint his vampiric instincts. He stands up faster than a normal human would. He’s afraid of what he just did, he feels so ashamed for having lost his control.

“I-I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to-”

He just runs away, out of the window. He doesn’t care if someone sees him, he just needs to go away, far, far away from Damon. He looks like a scared prey chased by an unknown predator. While he tries to remember where to go to reunite with his bandmates, he looks around, overwhelmed by sounds and smells and colours and lights.

He’s panting, he’s panicking, his mind is barely functioning at this point, he’s letting his impulses rule over his actions. He doesn’t even know how, but he manages to go back to the apartment, jumping from one roof to the other.

Bojan enters the room where Nace and Kris sleep through the window. He immediately searches for Kris’s colourful sweater in his suitcase. He needs some familiar scent around him to calm himself down. His heart is beating fast in his chest, his eyes are still red. He’s still wearing the clothes he was using in the photoshoot.

When he finds the sweater, he puts it immediately on and lets Kris’s smell surround him. He takes deep breaths and closes his eyes. He tries to block everything else out. He sits on the ground, right next to the bed. His knees are against his chest and his arms embrace them. He’s trying so hard to look smaller.

You are safe, Bojan. You are safe. Damon is alive, you didn’t kill him. You are safe. He keeps repeating these sentences in his mind, trying to regain control over his body, now dominated by fear and panic. He is shaking too.

After some minutes someone enters. He’s too focused on Kris’s scent to identify who that person is.

“Bojan?” This voice is worried.

Soon after a hand is laying on his shoulder. Bojan winces and raises his head suddenly. It’s Nace.

“What happened?”

Bojan doesn’t answer, he just hugs Nace and hides his face against his chest.

“I-I couldn’t do it. I-I showed myself. He knows-”

“Hush, hush,” Nace gently caresses his hair after hugging him back. “It’s ok,” he whispers. “Breathe. You are safe here, no one’s going to hurt you here.”

It takes Bojan at least fifteen minutes to calm down. He slipped, he thought he could be strong enough to face that photoshoot, but something clearly snapped in him and made him reveal himself. And he’s so ashamed of it.

“Let’s go to the others,” Nace suggests when he sees that Bojan is a little bit more relaxed. His eyes are now brown and he stopped shaking.

They go down the stairs together, holding hands. He can hear the others talking in that small living room, but their voices stop when they see Nace with Bojan, with Kris’s sweater and not his own clothes on. They know that something’s wrong. And Bojan confirms their suspects.

“He knows.”

Two simple words, but they all understand.

“Oh, Bojč,” Kris sighs, then stands up and hugs the vampire.

“I-I thought I was over her, b-but-”

“It doesn’t matter,” Kris replies, interrupting him. “We’ll talk to Damon and we’ll find a solution. But now you are more important. Come here and sit with us.”

That evening the band take care of Bojan. They cuddle with him, they prepare his favourite human food, they make him feel comfortable, safe and loved. And in the end he falls asleep on Jure’s shoulder, exhausted by the intense emotions he felt that day.

Nace takes him in his and Kris’s room so they can sleep with him in the middle. It is a “standard procedure” when Bojan happens to have a bad day. Having familiar scents around him helps him to relax and feel safe.

The next day Kris wakes up before anyone else because he needs to drink some water. He goes downstairs, but his attention is caught by his phone buzzing. He takes it. It’s a message from Damon.

Damon: Hey Kris. Yesterday happened something uncomfortable during Bojan’s photoshoot. I’m really sorry.

Damon is still online and is trying to write something else, but he keeps stopping. Kris decides to reply.

Kris: We know he’s a vampire. He told us what happened yesterday.

Damon: I guessed you should know, you are so intimate with one another

Damon: Is he ok?

Kris: More or less, he managed to sleep at least

Damon: Do you think Bojan would like to meet me again?

Damon: I just want to talk with him

A couple of days later, a bit reluctantly, Bojan is again at Damon’s house. He drank blood before going, just to be able to control himself better. In a bag he has the clothes he wore the other day.

Damon lets him in and welcomes him with a smile.

Bojan knows Damon is afraid of him, he can smell his fear in the air and feel it in his heart beating faster than the usual. He harnesses his predator’s instincts with all the strength he has. He doesn’t want to be intimidating.

They sit, Damon on an armchair, Bojan on the couch. They are far from each other. There’s silence between them, both are nervous. But Damon talks first.

"Look, I'm still a little scared. I mean, who wouldn't be? It's human instinct, right? You'd think there was something wrong if I wasn't scared." And Bojan, who remembers what it feels like to be preyed on, nods.

"But I've also gotten to know you. I've gotten to see you. I think you're a good person. And I think you're just as scared of what you are. Maybe even more."

Bojan nods again. "This thing...it's like this monster inside me that I have to control. A demon."

"I know a little something about having a demon inside me," Damon says and Bojan's eyes widen. Oh. "But you find ways to control it, right? To cope. A support network, friends who keep you from falling."

Bojan nods again. "Kad neman tebe, sa mnom su moji demoni," he says. "It's from our song. 'when you're not with me, my demons are with me.' My friends are there for me, and they keep the demons away."

Silence falls again between them. Well, at least for Damon. Bojan’s ears are dominated by the constant beating of Damon’s heart, the blood pumping in his vessels that sings to him, calls him.

Damon breaks again the silence and asks one basic question. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Bojan sits straight, his body stiffens. Damon is curious, but his vampire instincts allow him to recognize the stance of a prey that's trying to not look nervous or scared.

Should he talk? Should he tell him how he got turned? Should he explain to Damon why he snapped during the photoshoot? Should he really allow himself to be this vulnerable with a guy he barely knows?

But Damon, poor little scared human Damon, seeing that Bojan doesn't talk, asks him another question, trying a new way to communicate with him.

"How should I approach you? Like, are there movements or stuff I should avoid doing to make you feel more comfortable? Or words, I don't know. I don’t want to trigger any negative reaction in you."

Bojan then starts talking, even if he's hesitant. He explains that his senses are much sharper than a human’s, so he's bothered by strong noises, intense lights, very rich smells, but for a brief period of time he can resist.

"How do I smell like?"

"I beg your pardon?" Bojan is really confused. Why that question?

"How do I smell like? How's my scent?"

Bojan closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, focusing on Damon. The scent of fear is slowly disappearing. "It's sweet. Comfortable. It makes me feel safe, in some way," and it’s tempting, but he keeps these words for himself.

And there Damon smiles widely. "That's perfect, because I have something for you to wear, honey." He gets up and takes this stripped and fluffy black and white piece of clothing from a bag next to the armchair. "This is my favourite sweater. It makes me feel safe and I'd like you to wear it," and stands up, gets closer and hands him the sweater, which of course is soaked in Damon's scent.

Bojan's brain stops working because, well, he didn't expect this reaction. Damon, still afraid of him, is asking him to wear a piece of clothing that makes him feel safe. Some sort of peace offering.

I want you to feel safe with me, even though I’m still scared. This is how Bojan reads this gesture. His hearts almost melts.

He grabs the sweater and smells it, inhaling his scent and shivering. He quickly takes off his jacket and shirt, then wears the sweater. It’s warm and fluffly and soft. He’s immediately enwrapped by Damon’s scent.

“It suits you,” Damon says, giggling.

“It’s a nice sweater,” Bojan replies, nodding and hinting a shy smile.

The vampire is really feeling safe with it on. He wasn’t afraid of Damon per se, he’s not dangerous, it was the photoshoot that made him feel too vulnerable and made resurface bad memories.

Damon, seeing that Bojan is lulled by the comfort of his sweater, tentatively suggests "if you're comfortable with it...I'd like to photograph that side of you, too. Not for the public, of course. Just...for us. Photography is how I get to know someone, and that's a part of you too."

"I don't want to scare you," Bojan admits.

"I'm already scared. But that doesn't matter. I want to know you, all of you."

Their eyes meet, prey and predator, human and vampire, two creatures completely different but similar at the same time. And Bojan feels some kind of connection with Damon, something he haven’t felt since the first time he saw his bandmates after the transformation.

In the end Bojan agrees to this, tentatively. But he wants Kris to be there with him, just in case. Kris knows exactly how to calm him down. He will know what to do or say if he loses control.

“You won’t need me, you're not going to lose control," Kris says while looking at the vampire. "Even if he does smell extra tasty."

"How do you know that?" Bojan asks.

"I know you," Kris replies. "I know that when you inhale his scent, you want."

Bojan diverts his look and starts fidgeting with the hem of his sweater. Well, with Jan’s sweater. Having his bandmates clothes on helps him relax and push back his anxiety, so it’s easy seeing him with clothes owned by the others.

A couple of days later Bojan it’s time for him to show that side of himself to Damon. Kris is with them, just to reassure both human and vampire.

Damon's obviously still scared, Bojan can smell it. But he doesn't run away when Bojan changes his appearance in front of him, sharp claws and fangs, eyes of the purest and the most intense red ever seen.

Damon admires this version of Bojan, stunned by his beauty. He looks Bojan in the eyes, and gets close, and takes those photos. Beautiful photos that capture not just the 'monster' inside him, but also the fear, the uncertainty, the angst Bojan is consumed by. How he doesn't want to be the monster. His red eyes on display and a look of sheer terror on his face...which is quite a photo, because predators don't usually look terrified. That's reserved for preys.

Kris observes silently and not so far away from them. He’s worried more for Bojan than for Damon. He knows how much this photoshoot is testing Bojan’s self-control on his vampiric side and memories.

And that’s why after the shooting Bojan needs time to decompress, to relax and make his human side come back to the surface. Kris, who was there the whole time, helps him, with tender words whispered to reassure him, caresses and kisses.

Damon observes them, silently. Bojan is a predator, he could kill both of them and they could do nothing about it because he's faster, stronger, he’s built to hunt and murder his preys, to feed on them, just like a lion or a tiger. Now he’s so vulnerable, so human.

But that scene is so intimate, so caring, Damon almost feels he's third wheeling. Kris trusts Bojan with his life because he’s keeping the vampire’s mouth so close to his neck, he’s letting him inhale his familiar scent while running a hand though his soft hair.

Damon decides to ask another question, because in the end he's curious to know about Bojan and his kind. He saw vampires portrayed on the screen, many variants, but he's different. He's a real vampire.

"May I ask one thing? You don't need to answer, if you don't want to."

Bojan looks at him, fangs no more visible but eyes still a little bit red-ish.

"Yeah, sure."

"What's the most intimate act your kind can perform with a human? Like, how can a human show to a vampire that they fully trust them?"

"Feeding," Bojan answers after a short silence. "Feeding directly from the neck or the wrist or any other body part. Giving freely the permission to take something as vital and as important as your blood."

"So do you...feed on your friends?"

Damon's starting to put two and two together. The way Jan had wanted a turtleneck on during his photoshoot. The way Jure had put his photoshoot off for days claiming to be "sick." Were they covering for the bite marks, then?

Bojan gets a slightly panicked look on his face, and it's Kris who answers.

"Yes. With our consent," he reaches for Bojan's hand, squeezes it. "We trust him, and we know he'd never hurt us."

Bojan gives him a shy smile, thanking him for baking him up.

And Damon thinks about that. How intimate they all are with each other. How clearly trusting the other boys are around him. He's been around them all, seen how they cuddle, how close they get to him, how none of them is scared. Remembers Bojan resting his head on their shoulders, or face-planting into their chest, realizing he must have been smelling them, hearing the blood pulse beneath their skin. And they hadn't skipped a beat, hadn't been scared for a single second. He's never seen them too-pale, ashen-faced, too drained of blood and energy to function. Clearly Bojan is careful, never takes too much, and they trust him.

And he realizes he trusts him too.

"Would you like to feed on me?" He asks.

Bojan is obviously hesitant, his entire body stiffened, but Damon immediately adds "it's how a human shows trust, right? Letting you feed. I'd like to do that."

"I - " Bojan is hesitant because he wants. He wants so much. He hadn't been lying, Damon smells so good. He's so drawn to him. He's thought more than once about that beautiful pale neck, about sinking his teeth into it. He’s salivating, savouring Damon’s taste just by smelling him from afar.

"Kris should be there," he says finally. "Just in case. He knows what to do if I - if I lose control."

"Are you likely to lose control?" Damon asks.

"No," Kris says before Bojan can even open his mouth. "He's never lost control, not since I've known him."

He can hear Damon's heart beating, so, so fast. He's nervous. But that heartbeat also calls to him, all that blood beneath the pale skin. He wants. He wants so much. He craves it.

Bojan can feel his eyes changing colour and his fangs becoming sharper. He's struggling to control himself, but he manages to not jump on him right away. Damon’s sweater on him isn’t helping much his self-control. He focuses on Kris heartbeat, slower and more familiar, to keep him grounded.

"It's better if you sit down on the couch. The first time can be overwhelming for both," he suggests.

So Damon and he take place on the couch, Kris follows them, sitting behind Damon. He holds him, a comforting, warm, human touch.

"Do you want to know what you'll feel?" Bojan asks, looking the photographer in the eyes.

One side of Damon wants to know it, so he can at least be prepared, but the other one doesn't. No, he wants to dive into those feelings, experience them without any anticipation. He then shakes his head.

"Where do you want to bite?" he asks then.

Bojan's eyes, now as red as blood, lower and stop on his neck, so pale and so alluring. He feels like a moth attracted by the light of a lantern in the middle of a night without moon, so captivating but so dangerous at the same time.

Kris notices Bojan’s look, where it’s laying, so he puts his hand in Damon's hair, tilting his head back for Bojan, an offering. His gesture is forceful but gentle at the same time.

Bojan leans forward, closes his eyes and kisses Damon’s neck before sinking his fangs in his skin and then deep in his flesh. When the first drops of blood touch his tongue, he moans intensively. Damon's blood is so delicious, much more than what he expected.

Without even realising Bojan straddles Damon's laps and pushes him until he's completely laying on Kris, the vampire on top of him. It feels like ecstasy. Bojan is so used to feeding on his friends that he forgot the pleasure of unknown blood running down his throat. The bond creating between the vampire and the human. The pure sense of trust of letting a creature like him taking away something so important. Damon's blood is singing to him and he could write both melody and lyrics based on what he's feeling in that moment.

He’s too lost in it. He's drinking and drinking and it's addicting. Until Damon starts getting dizzy, eyes feeling closed, and it's Kris who warns him.

"Bojči." Then, more firmly. "Bojan."

And Bojan pulls away reluctantly, dazed, eyes a little glassy, panting with his mouth open and dirty with blood, that's also running down from his lips, dripping on Damon’s white t-shirt.

"Fuck," he breathes. "Damon."

Damon, half-dazed himself, looks up at Bojan, and he sees the fangs and the red eyes but all he can think is how beautiful Bojan looks. His perfect profile, those beautiful features, like something out of a novel, and the blood and the shadows just heighten it. He reaches a weak hand up, traces his cheek, murmurs a feeble "you're beautiful."

Bojan leans forward then, licking the last drops from the wound, licking it closed, but then staying there, breathing in Damon's scent, placing a kiss where the wound had been. And when he moves away, so that he can look at Damon again, Damon's hand has found its way into his hair.

And he doesn't know who moves first, but suddenly they're kissing. They're kissing and Damon is moaning and Kris is there, holding Damon, his hands find their way under Damon's t-shirt, tweaking a nipple, which makes Damon gasp into Bojan's mouth.

Bojan breaks the kiss so reluctantly, resting his forehead against Damon's, murmuring "fuck" a second time. He wants, he wants everything.

Vampires can give different types of bites. The ones given when the vampire wants only to feed are violent and brutal, but the ones given when a human offers his blood and shows his trust...well, those ones are truly intense and can cause great pleasure, both in the vampire and the human.

Bojan notoriously has great self-control, but Damon is really testing his limits. He is scared but at the same time he wants to give in to his instincts, to the taste of pleasure he got from possessing Damon in that way. He wants to possess him totally, in every aspect.

"Kris, I want more," he reverts to Slovenian, his mind is clouded and thinking in English is really hard. His voice sounds more like a growl. He raises his head to look Kris in the eyes.

And Kris recognises the longing in Bojan's red eyes, the desire, the craving. He experienced on his own skin and body the frenzy that blood can cause on a vampire and on the human they feed on.

Damon in the meantime starts kissing Bojan's neck. He wants him too, that bite made him feel all sorts of things, from deep pain to intense pleasure. He expected it to hurt, not to be aroused by it.

Kris wants them too. Maybe it's a sick kink but observing Bojan feeding and moaning because of the blood always awakes something in him.

Kris then kisses Bojan, his lips still dirty with blood, basically giving him the permission to continue what he was doing with Damon.

Bojan grabs Damon’s face with a hand, gently diverting it from his neck, so he can kiss him on the lips deeply. His fangs touch slightly Damon’s lips, making him shudder intensively.

They undress him, soon after their clothes end up on the floor too. Bojan kisses Damon all over his body, tasting his excitement and making him whimper. In those brief moments of clarity, Damon can see that Bojan and Kris are used to do this together, so he completely hands over the control to them.

Oh, the sex with a vampire is even better than drugs. Bojan knows perfectly where and how to touch Damon to make him whimper and moan. He bites him in specific points on his body, liking the wounds right after to not make him bleed out.

Kris joins barely, just to kiss Damon sometimes or to make Bojan tone down what he’s doing, to not make him completely give in to his instincts and do something he will regret.

They all reach their climax at the same time, Kris almost untouched, the view of Bojan carnally possessing Damon was enough for him. They all collapse on the couch, panting and shaking because of the pleasure they just experienced. Damon’s body is covered in bitemarks. Bojan is on top of them, his head is on Damon’s chest, eyes closed.

Kris starts running a hand through Bojan’s hair and plays with some of his strands. That simple gesture can make him calm down and relax after some intense emotions. Damon imitates Kris, still a bit hesitant. And Bojan begins purring, just like a cat.

“Is-is he purring?” Damon asks, surprised.

“Yes,” Kris giggles. “He loves when you touch his hair.”

They keep cuddling Bojan as he slowly gets back from the high of the intercourse.

“It was a photographer who turned me,” he suddenly talks. He decided to explain to Damon why he reacted in that way during their first photoshoot. “She approached me when I was barely 20. She bewitched me, oh-she was stunning, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

“A photographer?” Damon asks.

“Yes,” Bojan raises his head to look him in the eyes. He grabs one of his hands and intertwines their fingers. “She thought that I was the perfect muse for her work. She kept taking pictures of me for a couple of years, she fed on me, then turned me against my will, just because she wanted that my beauty lasted forever. Even turned I was helpless, I couldn’t escape, she had full control over me.”

Damon gently caresses Bojan’s cheek, trying to comfort him. He can see the distress he’s feeling while telling him about his past.

“You don’t have to tell me-”

“I want to,” he interrupts him. “You trusted me, you showed it to me, and this is me showing you I trust you. The only people that know my story are my bandmates.”

Damon nods slowly in response. Bojan is showing his other vulnerable side, the moment he lost his humanity to become a demon of the night, a monster that feeds on people to survive. Bojan then keeps telling him his story: how important he felt when he was with her, how he liked her attentions, how she basically tricked him into letting her feed on him and then turn him into this monster, how she dragged Kris into the picture and how they eventually escaped from her.

"I killed her."

“You...killed her?”

Bojan nods. “She was seriously threatening Kris. He is part of my nest, and no one can hurt him. So I snapped, she couldn’t control me anymore and I killed her. I don’t regret what I did, she deserved it.”

Silence falls once again among them. Damon is clearly trying to process that piece of information.

“Vampires are protective of their nest. They are social creatures, just like us humans, and they will do everything to protect the people they care about,” Kris explains.

“Am...am I part of this nest, now?”

Bojan nods. “Yes. I know that we can't be always together, but I’ll make sure no one touches you,” he kisses Damon on the lips. “You accepted me for who and what I am. You are important to me.”

#sospeso tra finzione e realtà #joker out fanfic #joker out #bojan cvjetićanin #kris guštin #annies writes #my writing #<- kind of lmao #vampire!bojan

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fandomwritinga · 2 days

Note

nitoku is cute, like hes NERDY HUT HES CUTE. like imagine nitoku’s taking pics of u in suggestive outfits and hes all like “oh i wanna use you as reference for my literature “ but in reality he just wants to keep pics of his partner being all sexy !!(n maybe jerk off to them when ur not there)

OH MY GOD NITOKU MY LIVE

I fr love how he looks

Anyways i made it nsfw i hope thats ok😵‍💫

Nitokuuuu

- my beloved

- So

- You start to think its weird when you read his stories and none of them have anything to do with the outfits

- But hey maybe he just hasnt showed you the ones that he needed the pics for !

- Yes thats it! Right?

- When he first brought it up he had some shame in him

- Afraid you were gonna laugh at him

- But you didnt

- Awwww… he cant believe just how nice you are to him!

- But just how far is he gonna go?

- The first time was just a pose of two characters really close to each other

- The fact that he had a hard on is besides the point

- The next time he needed something he gave you a whole outfit!

- You were a bit surprised to say the least but he is your partner you will surely help him out

- What you didnt think tho was that he is gonna take pictures

- But dont worry he will delete them !!

- Just give him some time to finish the story!! And surely he will delete them !!

- The poses keep getting more suggestive and intimate

- You keep complaining about the pictures but you dont push it

- The reason you dont is cuz you caught him jerking off to the pictures

- You think as long as its just for him there is no harm

- But you wont lie that the last one was your favorite

- He gave you a robe similar to his

- You were naked under it

- And so was he

- Safe to say you decided to get back at him

- You slowly spread your legs even tho the script didnt need it

- He was very surprised

- But you said its a better story this way! And he listened like a lost puppy

- He just kept looking at you, admiring you

- Your curves, your soft skin

- The robe is now of you shoulders and he is on his knees on the floor

- Painfully hard

- You start to push your hand between your legs

- He does the same

- Just until you stop him

- “W-what?!” You stop him because after all the script is about a lonely woman so you must act on your own

- He looks defeated at you

- You just continue your fun, toying with him

- You start pleasing your self, lost in the feeling, you dont notice him moving towards the script

- He grabs the script and scribbles something on it

- By the time you realize, you guys are fucking, robes still on

- You are on top and he is doing everything to keep you moving

- He is whining, bucking his hips, pleading for you to keep moving but you dotn move

- You know he is a fighter, way stronger than you, but you know he would never use his strength agains you

- You check the script for the part he scribbled in

- “Woman gets to cum thanks to sex by man”…. “Is this your life greatest work?” You look at him

- He just looks back and says “i was in a hurry” and bucks his hips into you

- You both let out a chuckle

- Your hands are on him, touching him constantly

- So you decide to have fun for a bit more

- You start riding him

- He is getting loud, talking about how nicely you squeeze him, how he cant wait to cum in you!

- But then you suddenly stop

- You get off and walk towards the door

- “No! no! Please! Where-wha” he asks sadly and surprisedly, still laying on the floor

- You naked body still partially coved by the robe turns around to him, your back facing him now as you just look back at him

- Your hand brushes the robe away from your ass, bending over a bit, you bum now fully sticking out

- “I think there were a few more scenarios and poses that the script had, right?”

- He looks baffled

- “YES!” He yells out

- He starts getting up and you just throw your robe at him, now fully naked

- He looks at you in awe as you run away into the house butt naked

- He smiles and takes his robe off too running after you laughing and blue balled :)

- Who knows what else was in the script?

#kengan omega #kengan ashura x reader #kengan ashura #kenganverse #kengan omega x reader #kengan nitoku

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integra1127grimmreaper · 4 months

Text

Baker Wonderland Part 4

Part 3

Javi Gutierrez Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Warning: social bulling, fluff, smut

Summary: Javi finally comes home.

"Great news everybody! Javi was spotted back in Greece by himself!"

"Really?! Y/N wasn't with him?"

"Nope... not a sign of the whale was spotted."

"Thank God... maybe he'll meet a sexy model..."

"That's too bad. I was really rooting for them..."

"Heck no! I'd always hoped he and Gabriela would be endgame... such a pity they broke up."

"Yeah, she was so pretty..."

"Y/N's pretty too! I love her style."

"That's enough social media for the week" you sigh in disappointment at what was being said about your relationship with Javi again.

Placing your phone down, you gently rub your belly as your daughter kicked up a storm.

"I really wish your daddy was here..."

As if your words had conjured him, your phone rang then.

"How are my girls doing this morning...?" Javi's voice greets you upon answering.

"We're doing fine" you smile at the soothing feeling of hearing his voice.

"Although, I think our princesa is missing her papa."

"I miss her and you so terribly too" you hear Javi's waver slightly as he speaks.

"My Love, please don't cry" you respond.

"I'm trying not to, Querida but it's so fucking hard being away from you for so long."

"You'll be home in two weeks' time" you remind him.

"That's still too long to wait" Javi whines out.

"It will be over soon enough" you attempt to pacify him, and it seems to work.

"How's everything going?" you change the topic.

"It's going well, although I miss your cooking and the crew misses your baking" Javi replies, causing you to chuckle.

"I'm sure Lisa is keeping you well fed."

"Yes, but it's still not the same" Javi comments, changing the topic then.

"There is something I need to speak to you about. Something extremely important."

Your frown at the seriousness to his voice; picking up on hint of anger in it.

"Ok, shoot."

"I know you've seen the new posts about us" Javi states matter-of-factly.

"About how I'm such a terrible choice of life partner for you?" you sigh in response.

"Yeah, yeah I have."

"Fuck those assholes!" Javi growls out then.

"I don't give a fuck what they think about us being together, that's why I think it's time..."

You can't say you were surprised at his decision; you knew the time would come soon enough, especially with you being pregnant.

"You sure?"

"Yes" Javi responds.

"It's about time we shut those vultures up for good. But that is only if you're ok with it?"

Closing your eyes, you take a moment to concentrate on the feeling of your daughter kicking.

"I'm ok with it."

"You're sure, Querida? I don't want to pressure you into it if you're not ready."

You smile at the sweetness of his consideration for your comfort.

"Yes, I'm sure... its time. The baby will be here soon, and we have to break that news first before the baby news."

"Ok, I'll get Lisa to do a press release and then we wait for all hell to break loose" Javi states.

"Can't wait..." you drawl out.

"It'll be fine, amor" Javi tries to sooth you, (wishing that he could hold right now).

"I know" you reply.

"I have to go now..." Javi sighs regretfully.

"Ok" you sigh in response.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Querida..."

You couldn't contain the excitement coursing through you when waking up this morning; Javi was coming home today. Nothing could sour your mood this week; not even the blowout of last week, over the news of your marriage to Javi could taint it. It was quite comical in the way which the news had been received, some had taken it quite well; words of congratulation and excitement flowing in when the announcement was posted, along with a few pictures of your wedding had been published. The other reactions were not so positive; people figuratively shitting themselves in response to the news. Javi and you had laughed over it and quickly moved on from it. It was done, next on the agenda was revealing your pregnancy but you both had decided to wait a bit more before doing so.

You were busy preparing lunch when the sound of the front door opening was heard.

"In the kitchen...!" you called out as heavy footsteps slowly make their way towards your location.

"There's my beautiful wife..." Javi voice rings out through the kitchen, causing you to squeal out in excitement.

"Javi...!" you rush him, arms wrapping tightly around his neck.

"Amor..." Javi groans out, holding tightly onto you. The moment is soon interrupted by 'someone' making their existence known.

loosening his hold; Javi gently moves you backwards, his eyes wide as he stares down at your belly.

"Yes that...?"

"Our very active daughter, say hi to her papa...? Yes, it is" you remark, broadly smiling at the look of astonishment on your husband's face.

Dropping down to his knees; an eager Javi gently takes hold of your belly as he presses the side of his face against it to feel the baby kick.

"Whoa..." Javi pulls his head back with a loud gasp of excitement after an extremely strong kick.

"You've got quite a kick there, Nena..." he proudly remarks, rubbing your belly where your daughter was kicking.

"She's just extra excited that her papa is home" you state as you gently run your fingers through his hair.

Tilting his head upward; Javi smiles at you, tears beginning to form in his eyes.

"Baby, what's wrong?" you ask, gently cupping his faces.

"I-I'm just so glad to finally be home..." Javi murmurs, breaking out into a full sob then.

"Aww... baby... I'm just as glad you're home" you coo in response, signally for him to get up from the floor.

"You must think I'm a fool" Javi tearfully chuckles, wiping at his eyes as he gets up.

"No" you frown, shaking your head as you cup his face in your palms.

"You're a man, that has been away from his pregnant wife for more than a month. It's quite normal to be emotional when feeling your unborn child kick for the first time."

"God, I love you..." Javi utters, tipping down to capture your lips in a kiss.

"Love you too" you smile against his lips, taking a step back then.

"Lunch is ready, if you're hungry. Go wash up and I'll plate it."

Not even making it a few steps; you're stopped in your tracks by Javi pulling you back flushed against his chest.

"I'm hungry for something else..." Javi softly growls out, gently nipping at the side of your neck.

"Javi!" you gasp out, giggling at the tickling sensation from his moustache.

"It's been over a month since I've touched you, I'm in absolute pain here..." Javi whines, grinding his very evident erection against your backside.

Your eyes instantly shut as you bite into your lip to stifle a needy whimper of your own. Only one breathless word spilling from your lips then.

"Bedroom."

"Hermosa..." Javi groans in appreciatively at your naked form lying on the bed as you wait for him to finish undressing himself.

"Please, I look like whale..." you roll your eyes, chuckling.

"Hey, don't ever talk like that about yourself" Javi frown in displeasure. Lying down next to you; he then cups your face to look into his eyes.

"You are and will always be the most beautiful woman to me. More so now that you're carrying our daughter."

Reaching up to stroke his cheek, you tearfully smile at him.

"I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Querida... it was complete agony being away from you for so long" Javi responds, gently brushing the hair out of your face and tipping down to kiss you.

"Let me show you how much."

Beginning a slow trail of peppering kiss from your lips, then downward; Javi stops at your belly to pay it extra attention.

"Javi..." you whine out, needing his attention further down your body.

"What's wrong, Amor? Is there something you need?" Javi remarks with a cocky smirk.

"You better not tease me, Gutierrez... or...!" you growl in warning, but it turns into loud gasp when Javi takes nip at your inner thigh.

"Don't worry Cariño, there'll be no teasing today" Javi assures you, placing a gentle kiss against the flesh he had bitten moments ago.

"Need to be inside you too damn much."

"Then do it..." you whimper, attempting to pull him upward by the head.

Following your silent directions, Javi comes to lay next to you, leaning over you as he lovingly brushing the hair out your face.

"I'm a lot to take, Querida... especially after such a long time. Need to get you ready first, open you up to take me."

Tears of frustration threaten to spill from your eyes as you whimper out in protest.

"Shh... Cariño... I know, I know..." Javi strokes your hair in attempt to soothe you, pressing a kiss into it then.

"Don't want to hurt you or the baby... Let me take care of you, ok?"

You relent to his request; silently nodding for to go ahead. Pressing a kiss to your forehead, Javi moves back down to settle comfortably between your legs.

"A work of beauty..." Javi remarks, staring at your pussy in pure hunger. Carefully placing your leg onto his shoulders, Javi leans in to lick a long strip through your wet fold; causing you take in a sharp breath at the sensual friction caused by his facial hair.

"Almost forgot how good you taste..." Javi groans out; head diving back in to begin to devour you in earnest.

"Fuck, Javi..." you moan out, tossing your head from side to side in frustration at not being able to see pass your belly at what he was doing.

"Doing so good for me, Cariño..." Javi praises you as he starts probing a finger at your entrance.

You let out a loud cry when he finally slips the finger in; slowly working it in and out of you.

"Fuck, Querida... you're extremely tight..." he groans out in wonder as he continues working his finger in and out, adding a second one then after some time.

"There we go... staring to loosening up a bit..." Javi coos, his thumb going to work on your clit as you grind into his palm; broken moans and whimpers escaping from your lips at how good it felt to finally having his fingers inside of you after all this time.

"Fuck, I missed your fingers so much..." you manage to whine out in pleasure.

"Yeah...?" Javi groans in response, picking up the pace then.

"Fuck. Want you to cum on my tongue, then I'm going to fuck you..." he states, mouth latching back onto your pussy.

"J-Javi... I-I'm gonna cum..." you cry out in warning as your oncoming orgasm hits.

"That's it, Cariño..." Javi groans in approval, mouth sucking eagerly on your pussy as you cum.

Javi place one last gentle kiss to mound as you come down from your high, moving upward to lean over you from the side and lovingly strokes your hair back.

"You ok?"

"Mhmm... perfect..." you smile at him through hooded eyes.

Smiling back at you; Javi presses a kiss to your lips, hand reaching down to stroke your belly.

"Do you want to continue, or do you need a break?"

"Need you inside me..." you whimper out pleadingly.

Cupping your face; Javi looks in the eyes with a serious stare.

"You let me know immediately if it's too much."

You nod in agreement, but Javi shake heads in disapproval.

"Words, Hermosa... Need you to use your words."

"I will..." you drawl out with an eye roll, causing Javi to chuckle at your reaction.

"Lay on your side for me, Querida" Javi instructs, and you eagerly do so.

Javi gets comfortable behind you then; carefully pulling your leg back to rest over his own. Taking his erection in hand; Javi begins to gently probe at your leaking entrance. With the tip notched at it, he presses a kiss to side of your head.

"Ready?"

"Yes" you respond breathlessly, and he begins to slowly push into you then.

"Fuck, Hermosa..." Javi groans out as he continues feed his length into your tight walls.

You softly whine in response at the stretch of having him inside you again after a long time, eyes shut tightly as you try to relax to take all of him.

"That's it, Cariño... almost there" Javi places kisses of encouragement into your hair. Both of you letting out loud groans once he was fully sheath inside you.

"Fuck..." Javi groans out deeply as he waits for you to adjust.

"You're tighter than I remember..."

"Javi... need you to move..." you whine out, walls spasming around his cock in search for relief.

"Ok. Fuck... ok" Javi grunts, hips slowly beginning to rock up against you, your own moving backward to meet the rocking motion as you softly whimper out in pleasure.

"Does it feel good...?" Javi breathes into your ear through grunts as he gently palms your breast.

"Mhmm...." you whimper out through moans.

"Feels great... missed it. Missed you..."

"Fuck. You feel good around my cock..." Javi grunts out, biting into his lip to contain the need to go harder, faster.

"Taking me so good... Squeezing me so tightly..."

"Javi..." you call out, fingers digging into his arm as you felt your second orgasm nearing.

"What wrong, Cariño? Do you need to stop?" a concerned Javi enquires.

"No!" you cry out, shaking your head.

"Do-Don't stop... fuck" you whimper out as he continues.

"Need you to go harder..."

"Don't want to hurt you or the baby..." Javi grunts out almost painfully as his grip around your chest tightens.

"You won't..." you respond, moaning out.

"Please, Javi..."

"Fuck" Javi throws his head back with a loud grunt.

"Hold on..." he instructs, making sure to get a secure grip on you as he starts thrusting into you harder. The slapping sounds of skin-on-skin, along with the whimpers and groans from you and Javi, ringing out loudly through the room.

"This what you wanted?" Javi grunts into your ear, his pace picking up as both your orgasms began nearing.

"Yeah..." you cry out in pleasure.

"You like it when I fuck you hard...?"

"I love it..." you whimper in response.

"Then cum for me" Javi growls, his hand reaching down to rub at your clit.

"Cum around me cock, now!"

"Fuuuuck... I'm cumming..." you tilt your head back with a scream, Javi capturing your lip with a loud growl as he too reaches his climax.

It felt like the two of you were cumming forever with how long it took to finally finish. Both of you breathless once your lips eventually part.

"I love you..." Javi breathes out, his head resting tiredly against yours.

"I love you too..." you hum out blissfully, wrapped up tightly in your husband's arms.

Tag: @thegreenkid2

Part 5

#Javi G #javi g x reader #javi g x you #plus size reader #the unbearable weight of massive talent #pedro pascal #javi gutierrez

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sapphos-hoes · 2 years

Text

Sexy > Super - Marvel’s treatment of She-Hulk

i need to talk about how insanely sexist the she-hulk trailer was because the feminist analyst in my brain will not shut up. disclaimer: i’m not concerned with comic accuracy here. disclaimer: i’m a massive marvel fan - that is not the problem here

1. the way she looks

people have already pointed this out but why did they alter the actresses face to be slimmer when she’s she-hulk? the hulk is super muscled however she-hulk has the body of a super model who’s just quite toned. it’s clear that marvel prioritised her sex-appeal over everything else. in this photo her arms don’t look especially muscled or strong - they just look green. the differences between hulk and she-hulk when it comes to appearance are really clear and only show that marvel let’s male super heroes be muscled but female superheroes have to be sexy

2. poster

have you ever seen a marvel poster like it? seriously. just because you made her a career woman doesn’t excuse you from sexism. they literally just took a picture of an attractive female leg, painted it green and called it a day. the differences between this and other marvel posters from phase 4 are so damning where ms marvel, moonknight, doctor strange and thor are allowed their full bodies in their posters - she-hulk is reduced to a single ‘sexy’ green leg. this poster is the first marvel poster of phase 4 to fall into the headless-woman trope - where only part of a woman’s body is shown in a poster, usually to objectify the woman as she is not a person, she does not have a face, she is only a sexy body part to gawk at. also this proves my other point about her not being muscled at all - this looks like a normal woman’s leg they painted green.

3. sex

this is the only marvel trailer to reference sex. the only one. correct me if i’m wrong but whilst sex and dating are referenced in marvel shows and movies, this is the only trailer to feature it so heavily. this trailer felt like the sketch Scarlett Johannson did on SNL where they placed Black Widow in a romcom trailer. she-hulk is seen on tinder and carrying a man bridal style in her apartment, implying some sort of sexual encounter. this focus on sex and dating and the fact that is is not shown in any other marvel trailer to this extent shows again how marvel wants to present she-hulk as sexy rather than a super hero.

4. costume

why oh why is she-hulk dressed in skin-tight, skimpy clothes when hulk just gets to wear normal clothes? it’s because marvel won’t let her exist without making her sexy. the hulk is allowed to wear normal clothes but she-hulk needs to wear short-shorts and form-fitting clothing because one is a superhero and the other is a female superhero.

conclusions

marvel have been their own worst enemy by showing us that even when they have the same powers male and female superheroes are treated very differently. where the hulk is allowed to be muscled and wear normal clothes, she-hulk must still look like a normal sexy woman and wear tight clothing. it is clear that marvel believes that a woman-led story cannot stand on its own without appealing to the men who find she-hulk sexy so they have sex-ified her to the point that it looks ridiculous. this can be seen as soon as you go into the replies of any tweet about she-hulk. marvel seems to believe that because they have made a woman a lawyer they are telling a feminist story and that they are therefore excused for making she-hulk more sexy than super. they are not. i am pissed.

#she hulk #she-hulk #marvel #hulk #i’m gonna get ripped apart by incels but what’s new #marvel phase four #marvel phase 4

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707posting · 9 months

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things i really hope they add to mysmes

- anything w/ vanderwood

listen. we all had butterflies during that one v route chatroom where we get to talk to vandy. i think he’s a really cool character and i’d love a fresh perspective of the mysmes universe. a vanderwood route might not fit with the rest of them, but he deserves something! i’d be content with a vanderwood dlc or lil spinoff of some sort. i think it’d be really neat!!

- another story 707 route

i love saeyoung’s route, its so important to me, and i absolutely adore all 11 days of it. and the secret endings are great and everything! BUT, i would love a new version of his route where we start from the same point as v and ray’s routes. i think saeyoung’s route pales in comparison to the another story routes, and would be soso much better from the another story perspective.

- new endings?

some characters just deserve a lil something more. i’d LOVE to see a romantic jaehee ending!! or zen/yoosung endings where they go deeper into the mint eye subplot. the possibilities are limitless!! i also think it’d be cool if they made different endings for when you accumulate more hearts for a different character than the route you’re on. like if i got a ton of saeyoung hearts during v’s route, what then? (this bullet point is the least plausible, as its hard to insert stuff into an already pretty finished game, but speculation is fun!!)

- wedding dlc

i mean cmon. the new cg has left us all pining for a wedding dlc!!!! i think it’d be such a cutesy look into the lives of the rfa and mc after the routes.

- more elizabeth the III

i just miss her

- mc birthday celebration

we always get new cgs for the rfa, but a celebration for the player’s birthday would be awesome too!!

- more holiday dlcs

i need to celebrate new years and halloween with the rfa idc!!! april fools, christmas, and vday were great but i want m o r e !! also, v and saeran deserve valentines day routes!!

-revamped casual routes

the new art style is soooo hot n sexy that some of the old pictures look kinda crusty in comparison. i love the old art style still, and it’ll always be nostalgic to me, but a revamp would be so neat!!

anywho @cheritz hmu if you ever need creatives because i have infinite ideas for mysme!!

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goodwriterwithbadhabits · 11 months

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Seventeen Playlist

Aka: Songs that remind me of the members and why. (GIF credit to the original owners)

Master List

Hip Hop Unit:

S.Coups: Royalty- Conor Maynard

This song screams expensive sugar daddy. Its a little sexy, a little overconfident, and a little old school but overall, the song of someone who really loves their partner. The beat of the song reminds me of something you might have heard in an old school club or at least the movie version of one. Scoups has been shown to pay for people’s stuff all the time, and is obviously a very protective man. This song just feels like it was written by a younger version of himself, and I love it.

Wonwoo: Wanna Be Yours- Artic Monkeys

Wonwoo reminds me of so many Artic Monkey songs but Wanna Be Yours has the vibes that just feels like him. The song is a little dark and stormy, while being overwhelmingly loving and hopeful. Its a touch desperate, as though the singer can’t actually speak to the subject, and that feels very Wonu. Wonu is a quiet guy, less shy and more simply introverted, and a song so longing and desperate, feels like something he would write.

Mingyu: Stuck With You- Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber

This song is fun and upbeat, while still being a bit of a tease. Mingyu feels the same way. He’s a goof and strikes me as someone who would love this song, and the conversation it tells. For the sake of your heart, don’t imagine him dancing around the kitchen with his partner whilst singing along.

Vernon: Renegades- X Ambassadors

This is going to be super specific but both Vernon, and this song feel like sitting in the back of a loved one’s Subaru Legacy, watching the sunset over the ocean, after spending the day at the skate park. Its calming, with this rebellious undertone and a heart of love, and that just feels like Vernon to me.

Vocal Unit:

Jeonghan: Troublemaker- Oly Murz and Flo Rider

Troublemaker is definitely a word that can be used to describe Jeonghan, that’s something everyone knows. The song is about a person who is wholly aware of the power they hold over people, and sung by a person who is totally caught up in the spell. Jeonghan is a manipulator, and I mean that with love, but he knows exactly what he’s doing, and he’s going to use it for his own gain.

Shua: She Will Be Loved- Maroon 5

Maroon 5 and Joshua Hong go hand in hand, but specifically I think he feels like She Will Be Loved. The song feels like a promise someone is making to their lover’s parent, a promise that their daughter will always be loved. Joshua has a tendency to feel a little old school, like a gentleman, and strikes me as someone who would make this kind of promise. Also the image of him playing his guitar and singing this song with that soft “thinking of the person I love” smile, my heart can’t take it.

Woozi: Piano Man- Billy Joel

Lee Jihoon is made of music. He’s an old soul, and Piano Man feels like it was written by him a long time ago, and yet in a time still to come. There’s a love within the song, a love for music and the way it pulls you in. Jihoon was supposed to be a musician, and whether he’s performing as an idol, or simply playing the piano in a bar, he will always be a Piano Man.

DK: Honey, Honey- Abba

Not only can I see him bodying this song, but I can picture it being sung about him. I feel the Amada Seyfried version suits him best, with the teasing tones and childish vibes. Seokmin is duality personified. On stage he gets so sexy and confident, and offstage he’s cute and sweet. Honey Honey is as well, being about a very grown-up relationship but sung in a way a child might understand.

Seungkwan: Everything I Didn’t Say- 5SOS

Seungkwan has a lot to say, no one can doubt that, but I feel like he’s awful at talking about genuine, romantic love. Everything I Didn’t Say comes at the end of relationship, when the singer is reflecting on the things they wished they had said, and to me, this feels like something Seungkwan would sing. Not only would his voice fit the song beautifully, but I feel as though he understands the emotion behind it and could really bring it to life.

Performance Unit:

Jun: Horns-Bryce Fox

Hear me out. While the subject of the song doesn’t feel like Jun, the singer himself does. The song is about a woman who is, objectively, toxic as fuck. She’s akin to a demon or beast, and yet, the singer can’t get enough of her. She’s what keeps him alive. The fire in this song, the passion, and sheer lust, that’s what feels like Jun. Its feels like bearing your soul, feeling it burn, and cherishing the warmth you’re given in return, and I don’t know why, but to me, that screams Wen Junhui.

Hoshi: History Maker- Dean Fujioka

Is this song from an anime about figure skaters? Yes. Does it still feel like Hoshi? Yes! The song itself is super short, but its message is one of hope, and following your dreams. The song makes me feel confident, like I could change the world, and to me, that sounds like Hoshi. He too is confident and doing what he loves. He doesn’t let himself get dragged down by anything, and does his best to keep moving forward. If this song isn’t on his work out playlist, it should be.

Minghao: Uptown Girl- Billy Joel

Uptown Girl is a classic, its romantic, flirty, and such a tease. It feels like making fun of the person you love, and that is Minghao in a nutshell. He feels like classic love songs and being an ass to your lover. More than that, the song covers this underlying note of not feeling like enough, like you aren’t good enough for your partner, and that also feels like Minghao. Yeah, he’s confident, but he also strives to grown and be a better person, and to that extent, he probably worries that he’ll never be good enough for the person he falls for.

Dino: R.I.P. 2 my Youth- The Neighborhood

This song is about growing up and finding a world that doesn’t care about you, and how you don’t care in return. Though Chan still seems like he has some hope left, its obvious that he grew up too fast. This song feels like what he’s trying not to be. He’s only about a year older than me, but sometimes it feels like he’s lived so much longer. I’m not sure 100% why, but this song is Chan.

Let me know what you think! Do you agree, or are there any songs that you associate with the boys?

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen #seventeen headcanons #seventeen reactions #svt headcanons #svt reactions #svt hip hop unit #svt performance unit #svt vocal unit #goodwriterwithbadhabits

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lamentingocean · 3 months

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Mafia Jaha x Reader

Tw: riding, humping, slight abuse, verbal abuse, slut name calling, money bragging and cheating, all of this is insane pls help me, drugs, casino crap, SEXUAL EVERYTHING HAHAH (I'm sick asf)

+Made by Your Favorite Blogger- Ocean!+

___________________________________________

I must always obey what jaha says. I was only a small worker in a restaurant until I saw him pull up to the drive thru with bucks of money on his hands If he's trying to shove it on my face to give me a powerful surge of jealousy or something. But no. even though he's a red flag with a suit that costs 500K. he's incredibly attractive.

This is only a backstory.

His long black hair....his red eyes that can win a beauty battle with the roses in the snow pinterest pictures, and his chin that can stab a brick wall in a second got you falling in silent love. having heart eyes directly at him if you're a yandere to your senpai. But it's a chance to take him from all these thots all over him.

he set up a party poster all over the town, just to celebrate his elimination of a cartel he has been enemies with for many years, so he's happy about it, nobody knows that he is a proficient badass at martial arts. especially with a sword, but let's not talk about that right now. I took my day off work to go to the party.

I used all of my currency to buy an expensive dress and used my last quarters to buy this popular makeup swarming around social media, it's flower knows it makeup just to look good for a man for a man I met on a fast food thru. but you got to do what you got to do. I showed up to his house. looking good and sexy for one man that can shoot you with one bullet.

Weak ass.

I caught one glimpse of him, and there he is. mooching off his booze and bathing himself with money. he can even take off his outfit and pour money of his cock if he wants to, but no. he drank aphrodisiacs and sugar at the same time with a mix of his favorite booze. but those same heart eyes still set on him like a target, but as soon I left. I saw him glimpse at me at the last second when I walked to expose his house more.

he was following me. thinking he's slick by hiding in corners pretending to avoid me, but everything I move to the crowd full of people, I hear footsteps behind me, and it's starting to terrify me. it's like a ghost wanting to assault me from behind me, but I can't see it. I entered the bathroom to take a tinkle.

Take a piss while I'm scrolling on tumblr. Someone knocked on the door while they could hear my audible trickling in the toilet, the person busted it. it's jaha.

his fists slammed against my hands to the wall. he's obviously drunk, horny, and on a sugar rush due to all the drugs he's taken. he's drooling from the mouth, and his eyes look like a white dirty condom on an abandoned hotel room floor. but he also looks like he's dead with those eyes. but you also smelt a stench coming from him, and it wasn't his body. or his breath.

His cock was frothing of pre-cum, dripping full of saliva of different woman, its also twitching uncontrollably which caught you off gaurd. he slowly slapped his hands on your thighs and forcefully opened your legs. At the same time. I didn't really overreact to his frothing mouth full of drugs in his breath that could possibly kill bugs and pigs. Two of the most disgusting things on earth.

he chuckled in delight to my face of no emotion to my pussy exposure, he went way beyond my pussy lips to leave his cock enter the door of my womb, i screamed out in lust, and then noticed the door behind him. it's open and then you started to overthink that people were gonna recording the mafia leader fucking a random girl in the bathroom just for internet comedy. he did your exact wish. he closed the door behind him. dispite being functional at a disgustingly rush of sex drugs and booze bottles.

he thrust his cock right in and out of your pussy lips. groaning at your squelching hot wet pussy enveloping in his dick skin. his cock throbbed inside you. I tried to cease my moans from my mouth by covering it. but he felt so damn good that I started to slowly move my fingers to rub my clit. he fucked you so hard that if people walk by the bathroom then they can hear sounds coming from inside. a small spray of pre-cum went out of your pussy since he's slamming into you so hard. He didn't even give you a warning.

he spread his thick load all of you, going from your chest, hand, arm, and face. once he finished the rest of his climax. his fingers flicked out and dug into your insides like he shoved a booze bottle into someone's ass. it was at this point that I couldn't hold in my moans anymore and just let it out without a care in the world. his fingers were coated with your vagina juices. his fingers were so goddamn big. That you cummed all over his fingers in such a short amount of time.

I'm writing this now in my free time since I was supposed to cook for jaha right before he went back to his headquarters. and that I'm probably slacking on my cooking time. I must do everything for him since he called me a bitch before. BUT he was only in a bad mood since some of his employees got shot in the chest by a new cartel targeting jaha for over 70 million dollars.

I went downstairs. I'm overall a housewive in my new life with a mafia man. Jaha is in the kitchen, throwing his money around like it's an addiction to flex around his own wife. until he glanced at you. "Where is my food lousy bitch. I have been standing here for the past 20 minutes." I took his attitude as an affection of love. I bow down as a form of respect and love. "I'm sorry babe..I'll get your lunch started soon♡"

"Ok, well. I need you to hurry up. I got places to be and things to do." I couldn't make his lunch that fast.

"Do you just want the leftovers then?" I suddenly felt a slap on my face that felt like a brick. he chuckled with his anger powdered voice.

"fuck the leftovers. I want a new dish. if you can make my dish properly. I will make sure to put you in a wheelchair just how you are impressively horny you are for my cock. just like we were fucking in that party I had 4 years ago. Do you have that clear slut?"

"Yes sir..." I held the slap in my face.

'"Actually...on second thought.."

I got picked up and thrown to the wall to see jaha's smirk of sexual addiction. he spoke out in words that shocked my hormones to the core. It's like it activated just by these single words. "Let's fuck. I don't care about work anymore other than to fuck you endlessly like a cum hungry slut." he zipped down his pants to see his stiff cock smelling clean like it's a human itself.

He slapped it right on my face, which could leave a mark, he glanced right at my face begging me to suck his dick off like a vacuum until he can cum endlessly until he can no longer cum again. drain his dick down. your mouth was filled with his cock. I suck it up and down just so I can catch a glimpse of jaha's horny nature, and it did work, but his dick got bigger due to getting harder by your natural mouth massage by his dick, he groaned once again, rubbing your locks in as if he's mesmerized by your beauty. his dick tip started to pump his pre-cum into the hole of your mouth so you could swallow it every time you suck him off up and down. He threw his head back in unforgivable lust, radiating arousal for your mouth tricks. his hair wicked back and forth just he can spread his groans all around the empty walls of our expensive home. his pre-cum leaked out of your mouth and started to overfill your taste buds with it. until he actually did shoot his gun shot like load right inside your mouth, pumping it so full that you nearly choked at his cum load. right before his load.

he covered his mouth and rolled his eyes back with his sweat dripping down his expensive suit, with his face feeling so hot of toxic love that he's burning in poison in the midst of calling his wife a bitch uncontrollably. he did a finger signal to come over to my lap and make out with me.

"we aren't over"

(MY X READERS ARE GETTING MORE DIRTIER OML)

#return of the crazy demon #jaha lee #return of the mad demon #webtoon #광마회귀

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trashlie · 1 year

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hey, how are you doing? 💗 thanks for the link, that was a great read <3 and as usual, you make such great points! it does seem like yu jing's motivation is to stop yui before she harms any more people. i guess that makes sense, since that would also align (at least partly) with rand's goals. still, yu jing is not the type to sacrifice herself. she must have a way to protect herself somehow. given everything we know about the timeline of the story, we can assume the article won't take yui down completely but it WILL be impactful and yu jing will have to deal with the aftermath. and it's yui we're talking about, so i'm expecting the worst 😶 and yes nol's guilty plea changing her plans is very interesting and i have absolutely no clue why :/ there's so much we don't know about yu jing yet: her history with both the brothers, what rand did to help her, the details of her article… aah i can't wait to learn about all that.

what i also can't quite figure out yet is how alyssa plays into this. so she's exposed and her career is ruined. then what? does yui even need alyssa for something other than to control/torment nol? and helping a "problematic" (but also very talented) girl reach fame is probably the least evil thing yui has done, it happens in the entertainment industry all the time, so exposing that wouldn't do much damage to yui. i wouldn't even be surprised if yui immediately drops alyssa once she has no use for her anymore. but then… what would alyssa's role in the story be? idk it might be just me but i feel like there's still something missing here…

"her insistence on being there" that's the closest to what i had in mind, thank you! and i get what you mean. romance that is grand and untamed and consuming like a forest fire is beautiful in its own right. but for people like nolan and shinae, who have faced so much hardship and turbulence, a love that is soft and steady, that has a healing, illuminating glow feels much more monumental in a way. like a quiet, peaceful, comforting place in the middle of a raging storm. and yes i LOOOVE how they're so well-balanced in their mutual efforts and care and how they're naturally gravitate towards one another. and it's especially obvious when compared to alyssa, who only takes without giving back, or even kousuke, who so often disregards the perspective and needs of the other person. that's why i like re-reading the first half of the formal a lot, those dynamics really come to light <3

"all these little moments that could just as easily remain platonic, except they’re stirring something up" YES!!!! i'm glad we're on the same page on minhyuk and platonic gestures, yay! and btw if you ever write that post about shinae and nol, even though it would be a tangent, i'd actually be curious to know what you think dieter's role in all this is. personally i'm undecided if shinae is genuinely crushing on him because she's drawn to his peaceful, calm, drama-free lol nature and emotional maturity (and hands), or if she's only crushing on him because it's safe to explore the possibility of romance with him and he has reassured her that he genuinely likes her at a time when she was so suspicious about whether her friends even like her (she even questioned minhyuk for a moment 💔) (and the sexy hands might be some kind of projection idk). and if verbal reassurance is part of it, then well, we just had the mutual "you're special to me" confession...

RIGHT i wanted to bring up the girlfriend thing too. shinae has been so adamant about making sure things stay platonic, but now alyssa is basically out of the picture, and the lines she drew are getting blurred, so where does that leave her? tbh i'd be overwhelmed and even a little scared if i was her. everything is happening quite fast! she's been closed off for a long time, she met nol like 3 months ago, took a lot of time to warm up to him, they've established their friendship a couple of weeks ago, they've grown close so quickly, now suddenly there is all this, whatever this is? and i'm probably overanalyzing but i do find it interesting that, in the hospital room, she doesn't hug him back. she doesn't object or push him away either so she obviously doesn't mind, and this sort of inaction (?) does read to me like a physical reflection of what's going on with her internally. the feelings are sprouting, but she can't quite process what's happening, and doesn't know what to do with herself just yet. but she also doesn't dislike this so she is just kind of going with it. then again in the very last panel in 219 we can't see her other arm so maybe she IS embracing him this time. one of quim's little details to keep us wondering i guess 👀

and please i was DYING when shinae blurted out she thinks rand is hot in front of both his sons in front of NOL who is a physical carbon copy of rand except younger and orange like girl… LMAO. (and btw yes on that moment between kou and nol; there are a few rare moments where the brothers almost… get along? it's very refreshing but in a tragic way. like a glimpse into an alternate version of the story where all the toxic conditioning didn't happen 💔)

oh god this got sooo long again i apologize!! i will try to make my future asks more concise. for now, i'm leaving you with this quote i found that makes me think of nol and shinae, i'm sure you'll understand why and appreciate it as well: tumblr. com/slavicafire/714146132919500800 (can't link it properly on anon, hopefully this'll work)

alright. take care!! -lil anon 😼

Lil Anon!!!!!! <3

I was holding off on answer this for a little bit because frankly the last couple weeks were trash and I had noooo energy and didn't want to reply until I could do a good one! I'm glad I held off, though, because there's something I can respond to MUCH BETTER now! Of course, that means this has FP 222 spoilers, so hopefully you've read! (or at least you stop here if you haven't, haha!)

It's funny how a couple weeks ago, we were still trying to piece things together "it probably won't take Yui down completely" "is it worth it for Yujing to risk her career and life?" and episode 222 came in like a wrecking ball, oh my god! I said it in my commentary post, too, but I DID NOT anticipate how much this expose was covering! All along we've talked like this is about Yui and perhaps the Hiraharas in general, but it was largely centered on her. Now, we see it's so much bigger than we'd yet realized, that the nasty, gnarly roots go deeper.

I think it's also so much clearer now why Yujing is going after this story - what it means to her, and her quest for the truth. I imagine by the time she was in university, she already knew what she wanted to do, and was already pursuing that path, but I wonder how much what happened to Manli affected her future career? Or did it already exist before that? The school Sangchul attends that's mentioned in the article about the rampant sexual assault makes me wonder if it's the same school Nol attends, that Kousuke and Yujing attended. If that's the case, then Yujing probably knows of a number of girls she went to school with who were sexually assaulted and nothing came of it. Around half of the reports ended in an incident report when the victims couldn't be contacted or refused to speak about it - doesn't it sound like they were coerced into not speaking about their experiences, whether they were paid off or threatened.

So supposing Yujing went to a school with the elite uppercrust, the wealthy, the influential, the affluent, who committed these heinous acts and got away with it. She went to a school where she watched truth crumble beneath power and influence. Her friend was later in one of those same scary situations and it's very easy to assume that nothing came of it. That she, too, lives with the haunting nightmare of an experience out of control, that left her feeling unsafe. Suddenly it makes sense why Yujing is taking it on, it makes sense why she's willing to risk it all. Because now we see that the stakes are even higher than we thought before. This encompasses so much more than just Yui and the company. This is an attack on the Hiraharas and Kims, specifically, but also an attack on the affluent, those who use their privelege to prey on and hurt others for sport, those who get away with everything, because when it comes down to it, they are above the law. They control things. This is their world.

It's a much more risky expose than we'd really considered before, but it makes sense, why it's so important to her. Yujing is dedicated to digging up the the truth - the real truth, not just media play. She wants to reveal the dark and sinister underbelly of those who have money and influence. She wants to illuminate how many lives have been ruined, how many instances of depraved, deplorable behavior has gone unpunished.

I think this also gives insight into why Nol pleading guilty was such a benefit to her story. It didn't make sense at the time, but now that we are more aware of her angle, it's clearer. Nol is being charged for a crime he didn't commit, but one that Sangchul Kim did - Sangchul Kim whose own relative was removed from his role as CEO due to his own sexual misconduct allegations. She's airing the reality - that Nol was framed/charged for a crime he didn't commit. What did the investigation yield? There must have been one, right? I guess it never came to light because he pled guilty at the hearing? Either way, Nol pleading guilty can easily be seen as someone trying to minimize the damage. He knew that even if he pled innocent there was a likelihood that he'd still be charged as guilty and the sentencing would be worse. Although, maybe he wasn't even thinking of it that way. Maybe he simply just wanted to get away and jail was as good a way to do it. But even that is an angle to work with - that the Hiraharas were so unbearable, were so cruel, he was willing to plead guilty to someone else's crime to get away.

This might be where Alyssa comes into play, but I'm still a little leery of this part, and I'll try to get to that. But Shinae's story also reveals a similar scenario of a cruel act going unpunished. Alyssa walked away without any punishment and I imagine the girls who were part of that were never found out, because Shinae certainly didn't say anything and I'm sure Alyssa didn't, either. We know that I acknowledge Alyssa pushing Shinae was an accident, but the point still reasons that Shinae was being bullied and nothing came of it. Shinae got badly injured and it was just. Swept aside. Those teachers quit their jobs. And it seems very likely that Alyss'as parents paid off the school to keep quiet, to keep her out of trouble.

It's not fair, is it? Even though it was an accident, there was no closure for Shinae. Those girls went on living their lives and for all we know, they may never have even felt bad about it. And it's just yet another case of people with money or influence being able to pay people off, of never atoning for their behavior.

Yujing's story seems to be seeking out truth but also justice. She wants everyone to know how abhorrent they are. She wants to reveal the sinister inner circle of the affluent. Someone on reddit said they'd compared Yui and Gun Kim to Epstein and my god that's exactly what it is, and that's the story Yujing is risking it all for. She wants to air what they have been able to keep quiet.

But here's the thing about Alyssa and the yearbook. As far as we know, Nol has no indication that Yujing is working on this story. When he pled guilty, she mused that she was probably giving him too much credit, which sounds like she hasn't said anything to him about what she's working on. From his perspective, the interview she had with him had to do with his hearing, had to do with clearing his name, or at least offering something for the media besides trying to make him seem like a drug-touting rapist. So why did he give her that yearbook? Why did he steal it?

People suppose that maybe he saw something else in the yearbook but I don't think so? Quimchee is pretty good about how she draws the scenes and he didn't seem to really take notice or anything until he saw that math club photo with Shinae and Alyssa and pieced together their history. He didn't have a chance to go through it further because Shinae tried to take it back, so it feels like it must be about Alyssa. But I just don't get it? What does he stand to gain from taking the yearbook? Some people thought he was going to confront Alyssa but... I really don't think so. Is it possible he knows what Yujing is working on? I just... can't see how he'd know? I know he's perceptive and smart, but has he even seen anything enough to indicate it to her?

Was it more that he hoped that by giving her the yearbook she'd look through it and recognize Alyssa and look into it? Even that seems flimsy at best, so I'm still a little ??? about this. I'm sure there's something I'm missing, or just something that's yet to be revealed but I'm at a loss. Like, Shinae's story certainly plays right into what Yujing is writing about, but is that just a coincidence?

You bring up some really good points about Alyssa, too. It does feel like Yui's only use of her is to torment Nol, and that's not really working anymore now is, it it? He's only with her for their mutual benefit. At this point, if he wanted to end things for good, he could, because would he feel bad if she lost everything when she was no longer connected to him? Nol seems pretty done with her - he does not use light words when he talks about his resentment of how she acts and her admiration of Yui, and he's long-since given up on trying to sway her away. Does a part of him remember when they were really friends and he stays so she can have that? But I've also considered that maybe if he's "dating" Alyssa, she's the main target, the main one Yui tries to use against him? That feels flimsy, though, because Yui watches like a hawk and she is well aware of Shinae's affinity for Nol, and that he shares the same feelings, which is why he tried to keep that distance. But I don't know if staying with Alyssa is really protecting Shinae at all, so the questions remain.

Of course, like I said, I think Alyssa's involvement here may be more about her family, and the dirty hush money they may have paid. In that case, the hush money + Yui creating her career starts to look more questionable. But I think, and this is something that makes me feel sick if I think about too long, I worry there may be some... "sponsorship" involved. I desperately hope it's not the case, but I sometimes think about at the Kim formal when Alyssa danced with that old photographer man, because she needs to schmooze and she needs to appeal to the media. Have there been other scenarios where she's had to... rub elbows... with prominent media figures? Has she been forced into anything heinous as a "payment" for getting her name, her group out there? I REALLY hope not because no matter what Alyssa has done, that's too vile for me. But considering the material Yujing has collected, considering the number of cases of sexual misconduct that's been covered up (that's been ENABLED when you think about it), the idea of Yui taking a girl and pushing her into such disgusting situations doesn't seem at all outside the scope of what we're dealing with.

In an old curiouscat post, quimchee was asked which characters are virgins and which aren't, and for Alyssa she used the 😬 emoji. It just feels... hmmmm. Obviously at the time no one was thinking deeper about this and took it as maybe Alyssa has cheated on Nol but... I can't help but worry that this response is more because we'll see something far darker than people were thinking. I hope I'm wrong! But!

that's why i like re-reading the first half of the formal a lot, those dynamics really come to light <3

Oh my gosh, SAME!!!!! I honestly can't remember when I started feeling shippy feelings towards Nol and Shinae, but I think the formal really played a big role in at least creating that foundation. There was just something about the way Shinae found herself seeking security in him, and how he was able to anticipate her wants and needs when Kousuke was unable to, it was the hospital scene showing the way Shinae thinks of others when Alyssa puts herself first, and the way that quietly impacted Nol. It was just seeing the ways that they just suit each other and somewhere along the way it made me go "oh no" lol when I realized the shippy feelings were starting lol. I know I've said it before so it really doesn't need repeating but they just feature so much of what I enjoy in a good pairing, the way they meet those needs and compliment each other, the way Shinae learned friendship by emulating him and turns it around on him. I would love them regardless if there was never any romance, but I'm also a sucker for a pairing that grows out of friendship like this because in so many ways they are what the other one wants and needs.

But we all know what a sucker I am for parallels, so it was only natural I would start to feel so strongly about them lol, that I would delight in them getting these cute little moments together. You are so right that they both have just been through SO much they deserve so much soft, so much warmth. They've had enough stress and excitement lol they just deserve something healing. Clearly we are nowhere near that unfortunately, but I really hope that in time we'll get to see Shinae - and Dieter and Soushi! - become some kind of safe spaces for Nol. Romance is well and good, but more than anything I want to see Nol accept that they are a safe space for him. I just. I LIKE SEEING THEM HAPPY! I WANT TO SEE THEM COMFORTABLE! I know safe is a long way away for them, but god I want to see pockets of safe space, moments of safe space. I want to see them taking refuge in each other I want to see them becoming that pillar of support to each other! This is so far off tangent lol but I've just been thinking and talking about them so much today, and the development of their relationship, the roadbumps they still face, and I just! Want! Them to find safety and comfort in each other ;~; ROARS

i'd actually be curious to know what you think dieter's role in all this is.

GOD I do think about this a LOT and wonder about it. Like, it's impossible to like two different people at once, so I don't want to discount that it's very possible for her to be attracted to both in different ways, but it's also worth exploring because this is so very new to Shinae. She doesn't really seem to have had any experience with this and while it's easy for her to admit when she finds someone hot - like Rand LMAO - that doesn't mean you LIKE someone, you're ATTRACTED to them.

I think Dieter IS a safe space for her, both because he's such an unproblematic person who is very respectful of her boundaries and because he already likes her. This is something I struggled with a LOT when I was younger - how do you know when you like someone vs when you like that they like you? Shinae is very weak to Dieter's affection for her. The "date" at the amusement park revealed this, with the whole don't look at me like that lol. But I do think Shinae's crush has to do with safety, and why I think they could have been SUCH a wonderful pairing (and look if they date I do look forward to it! I may be a Stalkyoo shipper but I acknowledge the ways that Dieter could be a good relationship for her if that was what she wanted). A funny thing about Dieter and Nol is that both of them make her feel special in different ways, it's just that Dieter is actually more open about it. I think she seeks that comfort and safety because her own life has been so tumultuous and they last thing she wants is a tumultuous relationship. And right, he's been this stable pillar for her when she needs it. Everything about them is so fluffy and cute and warm! That's why I have no issue shipping them as well!

I do wonder where he fits into all of this because LMAO FIRST OFF my poor cinnamon roll is RIGHT THERE LMAO Would he ever have had the guts to dance with her like that? He's so aware of his "inadequacies" when compared to Nol (or rather, Yeonggi) who came off so personable and charming and has this easy chemistry with her, and we know he isn't blind, he's observant as hell and he sees it. Is he sleeping? Or is he awake confirming something he was aware of all along? I used to think that Shinae and Dieter would date first, and that maybe he'd go to school back home in Germany (because he's always homesick it just feels to me like he might do that) but I also didn't expect to see Shinae and Nol dancing around their feelings so soon so I have to rethink everything I thought lol. I thought Shinae might run away from her growing feelings towards Nol, especially because he has a girlfriend, but now she knows a. that relationship isn't really one and b. she is doing the exact opposite she has cleaved on to him.

And right, like you said, the I care about her confession is already out there. I was musing to.... someone... somewhere.... lol I've been talking about this a lot lately, aaahhhh! Here it is! That as much as Shinae is obviously more drawn to Nol now that he's not putting on his Yeonggi front, with all those sharp edges, the Nol he has presented to her unsoftened, I wonder how much of it also stems from what he said to Lil Buddy. Is it that his admission that she means just as much to him as he does to her has stirred something in her? Part of what she was struggling so much with was that lack of closure, and now she knows what was eating her up inside - is that part of why she reacts so shyly to his gaze? Because she knows, because they have shared something so vulnerable with each other, she has literally shared her scar with him!

And in that manner, how does this compare to or differ from how she reacts to Dieter's feelings? I think she is more drawn to Nol, but that could just because of the circumstances. I think, if given a choice, she'd want to pick something safe, but that doesn't mean it's where her heart would lean, right? I don't think Shinae is ready to process what she feels towards Nol, but if Dieter is awake, would there even be an opportunity for that? I've wondered if he would do something dumb, like date her even knowing her unprocessed feelings, but that feels rather dramatic for who he is, doesn't it? That feels like a very typical second lead cliche and I don't think that's the sort of thing quimchee would want to write.

Man, I really SHOULD write that post because I clearly have more to say about it than I thought lmao.

the feelings are sprouting, but she can't quite process what's happening, and doesn't know what to do with herself just yet.

Even before getting 222, I was already thinking that Shinae definitely didn't know how to respond at first. I think... like yes there's a lot of unprocessed feelings happening and this is the closest she's ever been with Nol, physically. I wonder if she'd still be like this if she didn't know that he doesn't have feelings for Alyssa, if she'd still be very caught up in all of this, because I don't think she's acknowledging the feelings at this point. If anything, I think there's more surprise about this, because he's always respected that line she drew. She was the one who tried holding his hands that time. When she tried to feel if he had a fever he batted her hand away. Now, suddenly, he's literally leaning on her. I think, too, it's the circumstances. He was the one who made her get up for the dance, but suddenly he's burying his head against her shoulder - she knows something is wrong, but she can only assume it's a result of his injury. Maybe she's already wondering if he was hiding something, like his pain (because I don't think she realized yet that it was his feelings he's hiding).

But yeah I think it's very much that they're in uncharted territory, it's all so new to her. I would lol really love to be in her head later, whenever she does find herself thinking about this. What IS running through her head? What does she think of her inability to hold his gaze, of the way she's flushing and getting so flustered? Is she going to chalk it up to the intensity? Is she going be able to face it? alfjkakfjkafjaf

I wonder lmao if she'll figure out the resemblance to Rand or not. Like, Idk that scene is eternally funny to me, Rand's carbon copy just there in front of her, spewing his drink all over her alfjkafkjafjkafj LMAO I... I wish we had more scenes between Nol and Kousuke like that but. Kousuke :/ never really allowed them huh lol. I get so sad thinking about what they could have been, had Kousuke not been manipulated, had he not been driven to compete for love and affection. :(

Tumblr did NOT want to show me that link btw and I am SAD! TUMBLR PLS LET PEOPLE SEND ME LINKS PROPERLY EVEN ON ANON I WANT TO SEEEEE ;A; But also haha as always no need to apologize for long messages! I... clearly... am not good at reigning myself in either LMAO but that's fine because I love these discussions!!!! Thank you for always giving me something interesting to think or talk about! <3

Edit to add that @amuraas was able to paste the link for me and ;~; Listen I am not kidding when I say this made me cry. It is so perfect, you are right! That absolutely sums up my own feelings about love lol but especially the love between Nol and Shinae. That he could see in her what she was unable to see herself, and just the same, she stays at his side even in this darkest of times to reflect back to him what he's unable to see past. It's absolutely beautiful! One of the things I talk about a lot re: Stalkyoo is the mirroring, and how they can see in each other what they're unable to see in themselves and god this quote just GETS THAT SO WELL. Love is someone who brings out the best in you, but it's also someone who can see the best when you're unable to and god I want to howl about this foreverrrrrrrr. Thank you for finding and sharing that! And thank you again to @amuraas for tracking it down for me when tumblr refused to!

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #Lil Anon #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Nol #Yujing #Yui Hirahara #Gun Kim #Sangchul Kim #Randulph Skuli Hirahara #Dieter Becker-Wulff #SOOOOOOOOO many thoughts as usual lmao sooooooo many words #we got 222 spoilers in here so be mindful of that!#otherwise we got a little bit of EVERYTHING lmao

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leatherforhell · 8 months

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Things I Like About Myself, addressed to a Mr. Hobart Brown (@arachstar)

look at my hair isn’t it gorgeous

my eyes are dark brown which is so the best color

I have MULTIPLE ear piercings so I have OPTIONS which means I can have a goth earring a cute earring AND a seasonal earring. all at the same time. I’m a genius

I am so smart actually that should be its own point

I’m also hilarious. no one appreciates my humor enough

speaking of kissing I am an excellent kisser

Have you seen my tattoo?? gorgeous. designed it myself. can you believe

you have never in your life met anybody as good at menial chores as I am

I’m also great with kids. except for the swearing. but other than that I am so good

I have an excellent fashion sense

Actually my fashion sense is so impeccable that I can change styles every day and still look cute. have you ever seen me wearing the same outfit twice?? no you haven’t

I may not be good at cooking but I am good at finding food in a pinch, no one’s ever gonna be hungry around me

I also make the best fast food combos. stuff you’ve never even thought off. back to the genius thing

I do ALL THE JOBS and I do them ALL THE TIME!! construction? that’s me! janitorial? also me!! plumbing, electrical, tech?? damn I’m on a roll

did you know I can make a perfect circle without a stencil

I’m also good at juggling

dogs love me. actually all animals love me but like… dogs though

I might be bad at strategy games but I am a killer at fps

haha. killer. I am also good at puns

I have good taste in friends 🥰 nudge nudge

and also everything else tbh but especially music. hint hint

I’ve never once broken a bone despite all the dangerous Gotham bullshit. do you understand how impressive that is

Oh I didn’t even think about it because I never do my makeup but I’m great at that too. go me

I’m very expressive, which is great, because I live in the gloom capital of the world

I smell nice. or like, my soap smells nice. but I feel like it counts because I’m deliberately trying to smell nice

sometimes I can scare people just by using my I’m Not Mad I’m Just Disappointed face, which is always fun

I’m very good at shenanigans. you wanna do a hijink, I’m there

I have watched the pride and prejudice bbc miniseries in its entirety no less than eight times because I am Good Person and Jason wants to so I do it

I’m friends with some of the rogue gallery even though they are, infamously I would say, hard to get along with

I tip well

I’m bisexual

I’m very high energy

I am an EXCELLENT thief. literally how could anyone do better than ‘just teleport the thing to where I am.’ catwoman has nothin on me

I’m very good under pressure

I fall asleep and then STAY asleep, which is probably not a great one to list but I’m very glad I do it because I would be a monster if I didn’t sleep well

I’m a fast texter. speed demon

as I said I’m not a good cook but I CAN make some mean tortillas. there’s an old lady in one of the apartment buildings I work on that was determined to make me learn how to cook one singular thing and that was the best we got

oh shit I speak so many languages! how did it take this long to mention that! I’m like a god damn universal translator!

I’m very good with names AND faces

automatic designated driver and very good at it. nobody’s getting lost in an alley around me I’m keeping a close eye 👀

I’m a good dancer too! I used to be able to do pointe but I might break an ankle if I tried it now. but I’m still a good dancer in other styles

like did you know I can salsa. so sexy of me fr

I also know how to ice skate

and bowl! I’m so good at bowling!

I was a pretty cute kid, too. I wish I had pictures. I’ve only got one and it’s from a Photo Booth at the mall

my powers are really cool, actually. I can bend metal with my brain. that’s fucking cool

I know the subway and bus schedules by heart

oh and I can teleport! not just stuff but I can teleport ME

I am also the person picking up all those leftover batarangs and whatnot. and putting them in neat and orderly piles. and then returning them to the Batmobile. in case anybody was wondering.

I picked a pretty badass name if I do say so myself

I can do a back flip. fuck you thats 51 I’m so fucking good at this. bite me

#PLEASE GOD LET THE READ MORE WORK I AM BEGGING #IF IT DOESNT WORK IM SO SORRY #also nobody is gonna read this whole thing I’m sure so #tl;dr: despite all the ego clara manages to to mentions her main positive trait which her propensity for kindness #and the way she takes care of and loves the people around her #BC SOMEHOW!!! SHE IS CONVINCED SHE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON #idk why I said ‘somehow’ I know exactly how I literally made her #ooc.#ic.#BOTH???? SOMEHOW #arachstar

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moodboardsbysarah · 1 year

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andrew tate is a plant

this is absolutely hilarious. andrew tate is trolling the media in a paparazzi shot. it's quite obvious that he's a plant of the matrix. this picture alone should expose that to you. the total intention of it. his total awareness that cameras are going to be on him and his knowledge of exactly when they're coming and where they are... when he is walking down the fuckin street just after coming out of jail.

come on people who think he's some sort of revolutionary. he is scripted as fuck.

most celebrities are plants to control what the masses think. this guy is a particularly large plant. he is controlled opposition against the matrix, planted to shut up all the people who are starting to realize we literally live in the matrix. Tate is out here crying about "teh matrix" because the matrix figured out that too many men are onto them... so they decided to recruit mr doucheface to say a few words about masculinity and shut them up. this dude is nothing but the new Donald Trump. he is the new false savior, the new Patriot Appeasement Program to coax all the masculine men who are about to revolt into...

a) sitting on their asses and changing nothing in their lives, except maybe going to the gym for an hour or so a day and calling it a revolution of masculinity. aka he is convincing men to do nothing but what the matrix wants them to do: get placated into their routines and focus on following media-propagated ideals of sexiness, while the matrix continues to roll its AI control grid shit out.

b) value money and possessions above fellow human beings. like WAKE UP, all this guy is doing is reinforcing the pre-existing matrix mentality that your car and your faux image of successful alpha maleness is everything. nothing revolutionary about it. he may as well be a degenerate gangster rapper. he's having the same degenerate impact on young men. again Tate is manipulating young men into doing exactly what the matrix wants them to do: valuing matrix-created money above all else, and slaving away at matrix AI constructs and even building new matrix AI constructs. because anyone who understands current economics knows that furthering the AI automation agenda is the only way you can make real good money, because thats the only shit VCs and banks will fund. so any figure who's telling you that making money is important is really telling you to merge with the machines. unless they are explicitly showing you ways to make money without doing that, but that's not what Tate is doing, is it

c) further destroying the family unit by cheating on women. Tate goes on and on about how infidelity is a natural male instinct and men shouldn't feel ashamed of needing to cheat on their wives. Lmao I rest my case. "restoring traditional masculinity" "saving societal decay" my ass.

and to think there are still millions of idiots who think that Andrew Tate is here to bring us back to a prosperous society and save us from Western degeneracy. lol you people are so pathetically gullible. as if Andrew Tate is the first person to speak against the deterioration of masculinity and femininity and other famous people haven't been talking about this constantly for +10 years. see: JBP lol. analyze Tate's ideas for more than 2 seconds and you will see: he is furthering an ideology no different to that which gangster rappers are furthering. the only difference between him and degenerate rappers how the media represents him like some awesome rich lone wolf type who is semi-intellectual. the actual content of his ideas is no different to the ideas of the same people yall think are degenerates destroying masculinity. "money money money be a pimp cheat on hoes punch a dude in the face money money money" there you go. there's your saved masculinity.

#andrew tate #tate #tateheads #tate tards #masculinity #femininity #trad #tradfem #traditional masculinity #traditional femininity #andrew tate is a plant

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solardick · 20 days

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Idea for sigma. 18th letter of the greek alphabet.

The idea is this. ΣWM.

Moon, card 18 and 23. Wheel, card 10 and 13.

23rd letter of the English alphabet is W. The 18th letter is R. The 10th letter is J and the 13th letter is M. The two additional cards here are J and R. The chariot and temperance.

Σ is used as a mathematic symbol.

The A and E cards are mused to be interchangeable. As they are often found together. But the final card in this set would belong to З, i come to. There doesnt seem to be any other symbol to use. З is also a stand in for Z. And also draws other connections to the high priestess. Emphasizing a more gental, nurturative side of the spherical and circular connotations. Of the cards. As the wheel is as likely asking as it is pointing where. Where’s the personal disposition of active participation? Attention and discipline, care, and intelligence. May trump all.

Not what i originally imagined. An I-robot type deal manipulating the elements of reality.

The σ minuscule version brings it the O and Q and G and even C itself. Together with the active use of “will” or purpose. Painting a lovely picture. As well as tying it in with the devil card. S and Z. Though im rationalizing. Sex and the machine. The wheel card can now be painted as a sexy robot.

It just does’t fit the circular theme of the set. Other than perhaps the solar system and human automatons.

The σ symbol is used in the same class of calculation as is Σ, adding in the standard deviation from a sum notation. Though it’s used as a fraction. Becoming an irrational symbol, labeled as Q. A fancier Q in another font. But still a Q.

But im not very convinced by it. The card as a whole.

Othwr than that i think im being framed for tax fraud. As someone sent me the T-4 tax slips for walmart for 2023 for 10000$. I didnt work a day at walmart in 2023. And i never got my T-4s for the roofing job i did for a couple months.

And yo get get a screening fie gonareah. Be foiring to have given me a gay desease after they rapedmy spyche. Just to add innthe degenerate sense of homour.

Fuckni hate it here. Today their making the eclipse personal by exlipsing my fucken efforts. Sorry they’re taking your work. Station so uou have nothing to do. Yeah. Go smokw a ciggarette.

Eclipse starts just when i get off work. It’ll pass over has im walking home. Miss it. It looked like evening. Like an hour before evening. I stop paying attention to astrology when o realized they were just ising it to mess woth me.

Anyway this was a crappy post anyway. But, im afraid until i have a confident. Im stuck doing this. Everyone needs someone. I dont know what that feels like. The worlds been agaisnt me since the day i was born. Instead of being completly serrounded by people i don’t like who are actively fucken with me. Literally everything the outside would has sent my way, offord, given, likes my life lesser. Since i was born. I was born in hell. And everyonw wants to rule. Grew up fearing and alone. Am old still fearing and alone. Nothing has changed in over 30 years. Everyone always playing soemthign over me. Since forever. And everyperson brings in something that weakens me. Always been. Theres nothing to learn from being messed with. Its just for others pleasure. As its always been. I dont want to be alive anymore. Whats next? My secret druggings to fuck with me? Beat me down until i freak out more and conveice other peopel to help?fuck with my income taxes? Give me a desease? Frame me for murder?

Im quitting this jon soon and probably gonna hang myself. If this all life is goona do to me. Then ehats the point? Theres nothing else. I could listen to the bible and beleive you’ll syop when im forty. But. That’s a lie. There was never any apple itd been like this from the start. I dont even human anymore. Theres no connecting with anyone. Ill bever have a confidant. Just serrounded by assholes. Likes its always. Been. Not allowed not beign fucken damaged by someone. Hahhahahabwell at leadt im not an unstable wreck anymore. But i cant rely on that. Eve’s a fucken faget anyway. Genesis lietterally makes. No sense. It would be woman pulling at a rib and become man. Cause she wanted to get penetrated. So he lies. And hooks up with her. Done deall. Fuckne hate the bible.

Jesus is a bastard. No father. Left his mother alone in the crowd. He’s super effeminate and cant defend himself. The last person you want backing you in a war. And only go pray to him if someone wants a blowjob. 🤷🏻‍♂️if anythung he’s be a kamikaze warrior. With c-4 straped yo his chest.

Now i got to go to work and deal with some crows. They only say one thing. Caw!!! Try havign a comversation eith that.

Ive been wondring about gods absence lately. Portent of the day. A black cat catches a mouse. Gets distracted by me. Drops it. And catches it again and trotts off. Today at the moment. Conversation is about cats and litter. As for being personally eclipsed yesterday. I refused to be around him after that. I am now working woth a different colleague. The same partner of the guy who eclipsed me. Txted me later that day asking a dumb question. He could easily get by asking the persons themselves. I responded with. “Lilith”. The eclipse happened on my natal lilith.

And apparently they pivked this out of one of the vans im supposed to load today.

Not my hand.

They all laughed and made fun. And tossed it at the manager. Him being an atheist or a satanist or some such. Makes the impression that he doesn’t like the church very much. Theres alot of gay crap tossed around. Like always.

Well, talked to another foreign doctor couldnt ynderstand half of what he was saying. I dont think he understood half of what i was saying so. Its prabably no help at all. So i got cramping meds. See if that works.

I dont thinknits working.

IBS. Apparently. Being around too much gay shit. Gives me a desease.

Fucken kirby. What fucken cokskr. Your with my partner today. Im going home vack to bed. No alwep. And meds gives me weak vision abd weak muscle. And i have 40 000 pounds to load today. Starta yelling at me. Called him aficjen cokskr and left. Sorry i give you the health and security position and that i helped not start start smoking again. Nr. Fucker whos constantly on light duty. Fuck you. Naybe upu found tgat jessus fifure for a reason. You fucken asshole. Go brush your fuxken teeth.

Well at least i dont gave the feeling likw i just got raped this morning. Add a headache to that. Coffee!!!!

Moody lunar men are ten times then women. I hope his saturn return fucks him up the ass like it did me. But, you cant get much worse of a transit. Than i did. So theres no comparison. Sorry yoo have to work today and not walk around stairing at boxes and sitting in the office. If this is how he gets without half the world fucken with him everyday. The. He’s obviously a pussy. Sorry im mad and i have no sleep. Ots an effort to walk.

So those pills seem to be working. Took longer than it said it would. But, i got to sleep around 2;45 ish this morning. Didnt get out of bed till 6:30 ish. After my alarm went off at 5. And made it to work on time. But, nooe. Cant do it today. Its an easy load. Heavy but. 40 000 thousands pounds of 100 pound boxes. Nope. Not doing it. Been doing 50-to 60 thousand pound skid orders lately. Which aren’t bad. But kirby irratates me. Walking around like he owns the place. Never load a van. Always sitting in the office. Or doing light work. And counting boxes.

Others dont sleep around here either!!! Fuck you. You stay up all night gaming. Fuck off. Think he’s mad cause im patronizing and a good parental figure for Keagan. I dont throw shit at the kid, i dont hit. Like the others do. and if he’s wasting time or does soemthign stupid. I make my pressence known. Pick that up! Where have you been?! Oh well cant be sick or downed without atleast soemone giving me a hardtimr for it. These last few years are proof of that.

Hospital is useless. They dont care there. Even the doc at the clinic was, “they didn’t ask you about that? Or soemthing like that. It was hatd to understand what he was saying simce he’s a foreigner and english isnt his 2nd language. Wont work the kid though. Cause he’s alwasy talkign about sex. Amd dick and ass. And carelessness. And goes absent regularly for half hours. Leaving you to do a two man job alone. And kirby misses more work than i do.

Het look its the same goose. Wonder if i talk to it. If it will show me his family. Like last year. And simce ingave him the position for hwalth and safety he has even more time to walk around and do nothing. But i need to het back home. Shut up and take a nap. And neither doni have a family, friends and any children. No moral interpersonal support. Fuck you. And i dont even get to see another member of the opposite sex. Im serrounded by assholes like you.

Think i got my eight hours. Too bad its midnight.

I dont want ti be alive anymore. Dont t go nj im doing tm taxes this year. They can audit me. Apparently i wrorked for 10 000s last year at walmart. And again. I never receivced my T-4s for the roofing job. I dont know if immeven hoing to be alive at the end of theis year anyway.

I do t wven know why thes epeople are doing this to me anyway. The accountant is probably fucken with me too. His too nice to me. Im gonna start calling people pussy lickers cause it cant be taken as sexual derogatory. Guess im just stuck being serrounded by people who say cokskrs all the time. Back to my childhood. And my father and my brothers. And i guess ill never know what life is not being fucked eith. 39 years and counting and it just keeps getting worse by the year.

Its hard to describe what it is being murdered by the entire fucken planet. Whatever ill just pay 3000$ from the audit. And save the headache. Trying to contact someone in charge of taxes from a large company like walmart is a mightmare. And the people there at the building at worked at will jsut play stupid. It’ll be ten times worse then trying to get an appointmen tto see a doctor. And illnprobably have to miss several days of wrok just to yse the fucken telephone. This is my entire life. From the get go. Or ill do it. And if they send me to court ill just hang myself before the trial. I dont remember the last few years have been a haze. They did pay me for a couple months after they fored me right before christmas for fake charges of sexual harrasment. Pending the “investigation”. So maybe. The only thing o remember clearly. Is god speaking to me through portents and stuff. While they tried to lasso me with queer bs. And raped my psyche. I rememeber being drugged, sleep deprived. And set up eith multiple girl while they fucked around in the background.

Hope i dont have to take these IBS pills tbe rest of my life somi dont have the feeling being raped everyday. Spekaing of which, my ass hurts. Need to take another pill.

#tarot #tarotblr #qwerty #math #sigma

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