#shaking like a chihuahua at work for some odd reason

[frosty-tian]

Silly old phone doodle of Gram and his tiny babu.

Plus the opposite end of the spectrum.

#rescue bots #transformers rescue bots #transformers #maccadam #graham burns #rb graham #oaken burns (oc) #tf oc #tfrb oc #rescue bots oc #unsanitary tw #unsanitary cw #(just in case) #digital #my doodle #shaking like a chihuahua at work for some odd reason #so damn nervous #thank goodness my coworkers are understanding

[jmbringitonworld]

Good Girl Needs Kiss (2)

AO3 link for those who prefer to read fics there.

Chapter 1 / Chapter 3

I've reluctantly been forced to accept that this will have three chapters, but I'm determined that that'll be it! The next chapter will definitely be the last one! I don't know how long it'll be, but I won't extend this fic any further than that.

I've also decided that there'll be some minor Frans, because I'm utter Frans trash and because of plot reasons (it does actually serve a purpose, I swear), so if you don't like that, then feel free to click off.

Thank you SO MUCH to @a-snowpoff for helping me and giving me lots of encouragement and ideas, it's been incredibly motivating and you've inspired quite a few things in this chapter. This wouldn't have been possible without you!

Now with all that out of the way, have more fluff and shenanigans!

EDIT: I just got a comment from someone on AO3 expressing their huge disappointment at my being a Frans shipper. This person didn't bother to leave a comment when they still liked my fic, they only did so now, when they no longer like it. What the actual fuck. Like seriously, why? Why do you only choose to comment when you're unhappy? Why only put forth the effort to reach out to someone else when you've got something negative to say to them? How sad is that? The only bright side is that at least they weren't nasty or rude to me. But I just don't get this kind of behaviour. I'd much rather praise the good things I come across, and ignore the bad. But this just really put a damper on my mood.

________________________________________________

Chapter 2 : Dating... Start??

I was ripped from the blissful oblivion of sleep by the feeling of being gently lifted into the air, before being set back down on a soft surface. I jolted up with a start and wildly looked around for what could have picked me up so easily, coming face to, uh, skull with a giant skeleton. It took a few seconds for my sleep-addled brain to return to full working conditions, but the reality of my current situation did eventually hit me. Oh right. I’d messed up a spell and was now stuck as a chihuahua for the foreseeable future. Goodie.

Papyrus smiled apologetically down at me, his hand coming up to gently caress my head.

“OOPSIE, SORRY GIRL, I DIDN’T MEAN TO WAKE YOU. I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SET OFF FOR MY MORNING JOG! WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN ME? OH, BUT! ONLY IF YOU’RE UP FOR IT! YESTERDAY WAS A VERY BUSY DAY FOR YOU, AFTER ALL. IF YOU’RE STILL TIRED, YOU CAN REST FOR NOW.”

I glanced at the nearby window, seeing that the curtains remained shut, but I could tell from the darkness still enveloping the room that it was very early in the morning, likely before dawn. I wasn’t surprised that Papyrus was an early riser; I was actually more surprised that he slept at all, given how much energy he seemed to possess.

Well, I’m already awake, so I might as well join him , I decided. It wasn’t like I hadn’t been up this early before, given the odd hours some special ingredients had to be collected, or the specific times some spells had to be cast. Also, my magic was at its most powerful at witching hour, obviously, so I’d often stay up most of the night to perform the most magically demanding of witchcraft. But I usually went to bed earlier to make up for that, so I wasn’t used to having this little sleep. Oh well, no use complaining about it now ...

With a huge yawn, I stood up shakily on my four paws, and stretched as best as I could manage with my canine body. I didn’t fall over, so I counted that as a win. Shaking the last of the sleep from my head, following the motion through to the rest of my body, I looked up at Papyrus expectantly. He grinned down at me, looking pleased.

“OH HO?... YOU WANT TO JOIN ME THAT BADLY?! WOWIE!! I’M SO EXCITED! WE REALLY ARE BESTIES AREN’T WE!?!?”

He then dashed off into his closet, presumably to get changed into his exercise clothes, before re-emerging astonishingly quickly in his new outfit. He struck a pose, one arm in the air, the other resting on his hipbones.  

“TA-DA!! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY SPORTY STYLE?!”

I cocked my head to the side. His “sporty style” consisted of a shirt that barely covered his ribs, with hearts drawn on the sleeves and “jogboy” written on the front in what seemed like permanent marker, matching shorts, his usual boots, and what I took to be his signature red scarf. While it couldn’t compare to spooky witch robes and pointy witch hat, his outfit had an undeniable “Papyrus” charm to it.

I barked my approval, my tail wagging in show of support, and Papyrus brought his hands up to the sides of his skull, as what could only be a blush stained his cheekbones.

“WOWIE!! YOU LIKE IT?!?! GOSH! YOUR FRIENDSHIP POWER MIGHT EVEN BE A MATCH FOR MY OWN! NYEH!!”

My friendship power is unbeatable! I puffed out my chest, proud of the many friends I’d made throughout my life. The fact that none of them were human or monster was entirely irrelevant. I was very popular!

Afterwards, the both of us made our way to the front door. As we walked through the living room, we passed by Midnight, who was sleeping curled up next to that stupid mutt, in the dog bed. I tried my best to ignore the both of them, but the dog jumped up at our arrival and followed us out the door, clearly intent on joining us for our jog. No! Go away, cat thief! This is mine and Papyrus’s exercise time! I growled at him, but he only woofed at me with a goofy, gormless expression on his stupid doggy face. Papyrus beamed down at the both of us.

“ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO! FOLLOW ME! NOW OFF WE GO!! NYEH HEH HEH!!”

And with that as my only warning, he took off, running at full speed, the little white dog joining him almost instantly. I stood, stunned, for a second, before chasing after them as fast as my tiny legs could carry me. I managed to catch up to them eventually, but the effort took a lot out of me, and I felt dread start to creep into my heart, as I realised that there was no way that I would be able to keep up with them for much longer.

Indeed, after an embarrassingly short amount of time, my legs, still aching from the previous day’s exertions, finally gave up on me, and I started to flag. I barked as loudly as my tiny chihuahua lungs could manage (which was incredibly loud for something that small, what the hell), which immediately caught Papyrus’s attention. He stopped, turned around, and ran back to me, as I collapsed on the floor, panting heavily from exhaustion.

“OH NOES! HAS YOUR ENERGY SUPPLY RUN OUT?! POOR GIRL!! I’M SORRY FOR NOT NOTICING SOONER HOW TIRED YOU ARE! BUT WORRY NOT! THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHALL TAKE IT FROM HERE!!”

He then lifted me into his arms and took off again, resuming his jog. He kept the same fast pace, my added weight, meagre as it was, not seeming to be the slightest hindrance to him. I felt whimpers building up in my throat, as I saw the huge gap between our physical capabilities. I had never been the most active person, with the most exercise I did, being hunting for potion ingredients, dodging the more volatile plants in my garden, and running from particularly ornery wildlife. I never did any truly strenuous activities, that’s what enchanted brooms were for. Speaking of which, I must remember to take Papyrus flying one day, I’m certain he’d enjoy that ...

Anyway, back to the matter at hand, I was growing very disheartened at how weak I was. Papyrus, kind and attentive monster that he was, soon noticed my failing spirits. Not slowing down, he began rubbing my head, his gloved phalanges gently scratching me behind my ears.

“WHAT’S WRONG, GIRL? WHY THE SAD EYES??”

I could only stare despondently into his eye sockets, not knowing how to convey my thoughts to him. But he seemed to understand me just fine regardless, as he gave me a consoling smile, continuing his tender petting.

“ARE YOU UPSET THAT YOU AREN’T AS STRONG AS I AM?” I looked away, pouting internally, if not externally, given my fewer facial muscles. “PLEASE! DO NOT BE SAD! THERE ARE VERY FEW PEOPLE WHO CAN MATCH MY INCREDIBLE PHYSICAL PROWESS!! I AM VERY GREAT, AFTER ALL! NYEH!”

When that failed to cheer me up, Papyrus’s expression softened. He slowed to a stop, lifting me up until I was directly in front of his skull.

“MY SWEET GIRL, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF. YOU DID VERY WELL FOR ONE SO TINY! YOU RAN VERY FAST! FOR VERY LONG! YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOUR ABILITIES, EVEN IF THEY ARE NOT CURRENTLY WHERE YOU WANT THEM TO BE! YOU CAN ALWAYS IMPROVE YOURSELF IF YOU TRY!!”

Admittedly, I did feel a little better at his words of encouragement, but I still couldn’t help feeling inadequate. It certainly didn’t help that Papyrus’s dog had taken to running circles around us, his stamina seemingly infinite. Show off ... I whined at him. Was he even really a dog? Papyrus followed my gaze and frowned.

“DO NOT PAY ANY ATTENTION TO HOW WELL OTHERS ARE DOING! THEY ARE THEM! YOU ARE YOU!! AND YOU ARE DOING YOUR BEST! THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS!! JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE IS BETTER AT SOMETHING THAN YOU ARE, DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU ARE BAD AT THAT THING! OR THAT YOU CAN NEVER GET BETTER! IF YOU WORK HARD, I KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT TO!! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!”

I stared into his eye sockets, at the little glints of light I could see shining within them. He was being sincere. He genuinely had complete faith in me, and my ability to do anything I set my mind to. Huh. For the first time, I was grateful for my current body, as otherwise I’d be blushing madly right now. I felt ticklish at knowing that someone as self-confident as Papyrus, was equally confident in me. I swore to not let him down. I’d show him that I could be great, too!

At my determined barks, Papyrus beamed proudly at me.

“NYEH HEH HEH! THAT’S THE SPIRIT!! YOU ARE VERY GREAT! I PROMISE YOU! I AM CERTAIN THAT YOU CAN DO AMAZING THINGS! AND EVEN IF YOU CAN’T DO EVERYTHING YOU’D LIKE TO, OR AS WELL AS YOU’D LIKE TO, I KNOW THAT THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT ONLY YOU CAN DO! I JUST KNOW IT!!”

There are! I wanted to yell, there’s so much I want to show you! It had never really occurred to me before, since my mother and many others were leagues ahead of me, but being a witch was something special. My brand of magic wasn’t something everyone could practice, and even if I still had a long way to go to master my powers, my current progress was still an achievement that I deserved to be proud of. And one day, I would show Papyrus wonders he’d never seen before, mystical arts that only I, and the precious few in my line of work, could do. I would impress him. Some day. I promise .

I wasn’t sure what Papyrus gleamed from my expression, but it seemed to satisfy him. He gave me an overjoyed smile, petting me more vigorously than he’d ever dared to before, and then returned to his jog, his loud “NYEH HEH HEH!!” ringing in the air like a victory chant.

~~~

The rest of the jog was mostly uneventful, barring one particular incident.

At some point, my lingering drowsiness caught up to me and I nodded off, rocked to sleep by the comforting arms wrapped around me and the familiar scent of expertly cooked spaghetti. When I woke up some time later, Papyrus was still jogging at the same brutal pace he’d maintained during his entire run, and had yet to even break a sweat (if he actually could , that is). His dog was keeping pace effortlessly somehow, but I noticed that, at some point while I was asleep, he’d somehow acquired a small, round object, and was carrying it in his mouth as he ran.

Huh. That ball looked suspiciously like my Orb of Pondering. Wait a minute , I narrowed my eyes, that is my Orb of Pondering! Growls bubbled up from deep in my throat and erupted into loud, angry barks. That little thief had stolen my Orb of Pondering! Why that son of a bitch! Well, I mean, he was literally a son of a bitch, since he was a dog and all, so that wasn’t an insult so much as a simple fact, but nevertheless, that son of a bitch !

Papyrus stumbled as I threw an almighty tantrum in his arms, and desperately tried to calm me down with pets and scritches.

“WOAH! EASY THERE, GIRL! WHAT’S WRONG?! DO YOU WANT A BALL, TOO?? I PROMISE TO GET YOU YOUR VERY OWN BALL TOY WHEN I GO SHOPPING AFTER BREAKFAST! SO PLEASE CALM DOWN!!”

That is NOT a toy! I howled my protests to the heavens. That is a precious family heirloom, given to me by my mother! It’s a valuable magical artifact, with mysterious powers! So mysterious, in fact, that I had no idea what they were. I’d asked my mother what the Orb did, when she’d first handed it to me, but she’d only given me an enigmatic smile. Clearly, this was some kind of test of my magical aptitude! One I was determined to pass! I would unravel the Orb’s hidden secrets, and prove myself a competent explorer of the occult! But I couldn’t do that, if that dicktwaddle of a dog stole my Orb!

I was fuming, but I knew that, realistically, there was very little that I could do about this injustice, not in my current state. Moreover, I had no idea how that mongrel had even found my Orb of Pondering in the first place. My home wasn’t exactly easy to get to, being a witch’s cottage, tucked away in the heart of the spookiest, most supernatural forest I could find. It might not be the most ideal location for business, but the ambiance perfectly suited my witch aesthetic. And I was sure that Papyrus would agree with me. I hope he comes to visit me when I’m human again ...

When we eventually returned to the skeleton household, the sun had finally made its appearance, shining its warm light on the world and promising a day of good weather. Once inside, Papyrus gently set me back on the floor, offering me one last pat on the head and a “GOOD GIRL!”, before he departed for the kitchen to prepare breakfast. I, however, chose to stay in the living room, to glare at that stupid, orb-and-cat-stealing canine.

The mutt in question trotted over to Midnight, who was still curled up in their basket, and dropped my orb in front of him. The cat’s ears flicked, before his head slowly rose up. His cool gaze shifted between the dog, the orb, then back again. With a languorous stretch, Midnight yawned, then sat up. He slowly lifted his paw high in the air, held it there for a few tense seconds, and then quick as a flash, he swung it down and whacked my orb away. The orb went careening across the room, as my eyes widened and my jaw dropped. The dog instantly tore off after my orb, barking exuberantly, his tail wagging a mile a minute. He swiftly caught my orb, then rushed back to the cat’s side, depositing the object back on the floor, and stared hopefully at Midnight. The cat once again forcefully swatted my orb away, and the dog once again gave chase.

As I watched this back and forth, I could feel incredulous rage building within me. They were playing fetch. With my Orb of Pondering! The heathens! Middy should know better! Priceless ancient artifacts should be treated with respect, not used as some cheap toy! I had half a mind to go over there and give them a good telling off, for all the good that’d do, but Papyrus’s loud announcement of breakfast being ready, effectively took my mind off of those two troublemakers, and onto the promise of good food. With a rumbling stomach, I dashed off towards the dining room.

Papyrus had already placed two bowls of oatmeal, with little dinosaur eggs in them, onto the table, and brought a third bowl over to me once I entered the room. Placing it on the floor before me, he gave me a pat on the head and a bright smile.

“THIS IS MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE FOOD!! IT’S TASTY! AND NUTRITIOUS! AND HAS LITTLE DINOSAURS IN IT!! I LOVE IT!! I HOPE YOU’LL LOVE IT TOO!!”

I cocked my head at him, more than a little shocked to learn that his favourite food wasn’t, in fact, spaghetti, but nonetheless gave him a cheerful bark and tail wag, in place of a smile and thumbs up. Papyrus beamed at my reaction, his eye sockets lighting up, quite literally, and took his seat at the table with a delighted “NYEH HEH HEH!”.

I turned back to my bowl of oatmeal and gave it a few deep, curious sniffs. It smelled like regular oatmeal. And sugar. Lots and lots of sugar. I deflated a little, having expected something a little more out of the ordinary, from the favourite food of someone as extraordinary as Papyrus. Maybe it tasted more special than it smelled? I took a bite. The flavour of brown sugar instantly filled my mouth. Nope. Still just regular oatmeal. And sugar. So much sugar . I chewed my completely ordinary oatmeal, feeling very disappointed. Oh well, at least it’s sweet . And the dinosaur eggs dissolve into colourful dinosaur shapes. That’s kinda cool, I suppose .

I perked up a little when Sans stepped into the room, yawning sleepily and rubbing his eye sockets.

“mornin’ bro,” he greeted Papyrus. At my bark, he tilted his skull towards me and gave me wink. “an’ mornin’ to you too, buddy.”

“GOOD MORNING TO YOU TOO, BROTHER,” Papyrus raised a browbone at him, his tone becoming stern. “I SHALL BE BUSY ALL DAY TODAY, SO I HOPE YOU MANAGE TO BEHAVE YOURSELF, WITHOUT ME TO KEEP AN EYE SOCKET ON YOU.”

Sans’s grin widened cheekily, his eyelights twinkling.

“i dunno, pap. i get so bonely without ya. maybe i’ll visit your work, keep you company, give you some food for thought , heh heh.”

Papyrus slammed a fist on the table, causing all of the objects atop it to rattle.

“NO!! NO TERRIBLE PUNS! AND NO BOTHERING ME AND MY COLLEAGUES WHILE WE’RE WORKING, EITHER! THE RESTAURANT IS NO PLACE FOR UNFUNNY LAZYBONES!!”

“ouch, bro. way to cut me to the bone.”

“NYEEEHH!!”

Sans chuckled unabashedly, while Papyrus glared, bug-eyed, at him, their breakfast momentarily forgotten. I’d finished off my bowl of oatmeal during the brothers’ little exchange, so I padded over to Sans, feeling curious about Papyrus’s brother, whom I’d yet to get properly acquainted with. He clearly meant a lot to Papyrus, so I wanted to get to know him better.

The shorter skeleton monster noticed my approach and grinned down at me. I nudged his fibula with my nose, and he bent down to pet me. I inhaled his scent, while my tail wagged automatically at the attention. Sans smelled of ketchup, snow, machinery and... something sweet and flowery. I canted my head to the side, staring at him thoughtfully. That last scent struck me as out of place for him, though I couldn’t quite put my finger, er, paw, on why, and so chalked it up to some canine instinct. I wonder where he picked that scent up from ...

After giving me one last pet, Sans returned to his bowl of oatmeal. He produced a bottle of ketchup from out of nowhere, and proceeded to dump most of its contents into his bowl, chugging the rest down directly from the bottle. Was... was that normal? I couldn’t be certain, given my limited interaction with other people, either human or monster. For all I knew, this was common breakfast behaviour. Papyrus didn’t seem to pay it any mind, so I assumed that it must be. Huh. You really do learn new things all the time... How fascinating!

Once everyone had finished their breakfast (the dog had tried to offer some of his kibble to Midnight, but my cat had turned his nose up and started grooming himself), Papyrus stood up.

“WELL THEN, BROTHER, I’M OFF TO THE PET STORE! I NEED TO GET EVERYTHING MY LITTLE LADY NEEDS TO FEEL RIGHT AT HOME HERE.”

Sans waved him off, getting to his feet as well.

“’kay, have fun, then. i’m off to work. see ya tonight, pap.”

And then he left the room, vanishing once he’d turned the corner, his scent also completely disappearing. I blinked. The heck...? How? Can he teleport or something? What an interesting boneman. I shook my head, and then trotted over to Papyrus, who smiled down at me.

“DO YOU WANT TO ACCOMPANY ME TO THE PET STORE, TINY MISS?”

I yipped an affirmative, wagging my tail and hopping from paw to paw for emphasis. Papyrus’s expression brightened.

“WOWIE! YOU REALLY CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF ME, CAN YOU? NYEH HEH HEH!! I CAN’T BLAME YOU, I AM VERY COOL, AFTER ALL. AND I’M VERY HAPPY TO HAVE YOU WITH ME. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL FRIEND!! I LOVE SPENDING TIME WITH YOU!!”

I love spending time with you too, Pap! I did a little doggy dance, overflowing with excitement. I did trip over my paws, though, and fell flat on my face, but Papyrus was kind enough to pick me back up. And he didn’t even laugh at me, which was very considerate of him. He then rushed off to his bedroom, to go get cleaned up and changed, and I barely had time to wander about the living room, looking for my Orb of Pondering (unsuccessfully, curse you dog!), before he dashed back into the room, dressed in a casual outfit.

I eyed his form appreciatively. He was wearing loose trousers, sneakers and his usual scarf, but what caught my eye was his purple sweater, decorated with cute, little dinosaurs. It was very paleontological. I raised my front paws up, balancing myself on my hindquarters, and brought them together in a clumsy attempt at clapping. Papyrus seemed to guess my intentions, because he preened, bringing one hand up to rub at the back of his skull, as he blushed.

“NYEH HEH HEH... YOU HAVE EXCELLENT TASTE IF YOU CAN APPRECIATE MY UNPARALELLED FASHION SENSE!”

I lifted my head proudly. Well of course I do! I am very stylish, and my witch robes are both fashionable and practical! And birds love nesting in my big hat, so it’s obviously the ideal headwear!

Papyrus bent down and gathered me into his arms, giving my chin a little scratch while he was at it, and together, we left the house and walked to his car. This time, instead of placing me in the passenger seat, Papyrus kept me in his lap.

“YOU’LL BE WARMER AND MORE COMFORTABLE LIKE THIS. SKELETONS ARE VERY CUDDLY, AFTER ALL!”

* yip *

“NYEH HEH HEH HEH!! EXACTLY! NOW OFF WE GO!!”

And so the two of us drove off. I did indeed feel much warmer and more comfortable, as I snuggled up against Papyrus. There really was no better way to travel.

~~~

The pet shop Papyrus brought us to was the largest in all of Ebott City, and catered to a wide range of different types of pets, from your standard cats and dogs, to small mammals, to aquatic life, and even to birds and reptiles. I was sat in the child’s seat of the shopping cart, as Papyrus pushed us along the aisles, my nose going into overdrive, vigorously sniffing all these exotic new smells, my tail a frenzy of motion.

The cart steadily filled up as we walked, with more dog food for the Orb thief, various dog treats I wrinkled my nose at, some cat treats for Midnight (undeserving wretch though he was), and several items specifically for me. First was the dog bed Papyrus had promised me. Amazingly, there was one shaped like a racing car, which Papyrus took one look at and instantly started squealing over. Personally, I’d have preferred to keep sleeping on top of him, in his bed, but I couldn’t refuse the eager look on his skull, and so woofed my approval. His overjoyed smile was worth the disappointment I felt, at having to sleep on my own from now on.

Next, were some dog toys. Papyrus was particularly taken with a small ball decorated with flames, so I resolved to make that one my favourite. Gripping it firmly in my jaws, I could feel the bitter sting of losing my Orb of Pondering abate a fair bit. This ball may not have been a sacred magical artifact, but it was a precious gift from someone very dear to me, so that made it even more special! And it also had flames on it, which the Orb didn’t, so that was another plus. Papyrus also added a couple of squeaky bones to the cart, grumbling to himself that he hoped his dog would play with those , instead of stealing his own bone attacks. I eyed the rubber bones with disdain. Foul mutt could have those fake bones; I had my lovely new, flame-patterned ball!

The last item on our shopping list was a dog collar for me. I had a decent collection of amulets with various mystical enchantments on them, but had never worn any purely decorative necklaces before, so this would be a new experience for me. And looking up at the wide assortment of different collars on offer, with their diverse and eye-catching patterns, colours and styles, I felt my excitement building. Papyrus scrutinised each and every available collar very carefully, his brow furrowed and a hand on his mandible, as he hummed thoughtfully to himself. He briefly picked out a spiked collar, before he glanced at me, then shook his skull and put it back, muttering “TOO DANGEROUS” to himself.

Eventually, he settled on a leather collar in the exact same shade of red as his own scarf, with a shiny, gold buckle at the end. Holding it up to my neck, he grinned with satisfaction.

“THIS! IS! PERFECT!! SEE?! NOW WE MATCH!! NYEH HEH HEH!!”

Yay! High-pitched yips filled the air as I voiced my approval. I was more than happy to have my very own, signature red neckwear, and hoped that it would make me look as cool as Papyrus did. And then a thought suddenly occurred to me. Weren’t matching accessories something that... couples wore? And then another thought hit me. Hold on, Papyrus and I were outside, shopping for matching accessories, together , just the two of us... Was this a... date ?! I gasped, trembling with excitement. It must’ve been! Papyrus and I were on a date ! My very first date! Huzzah!!

“NYEH HEH HEH!! I’M SO GLAD YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY! I’M SO ENTHUSED BY YOUR ENTHUSIASM!!”

I was indeed feeling very enthusiastic at that moment, though perhaps not quite for the reason Papyrus believed. That didn’t stop me from literally jumping for joy, to the point that Papyrus had to grab me and hug me tightly to his ribs, to prevent me from falling out of the cart. It was difficult to contain my excitement at being on an actual date with Papyrus (this was a date, right? It had to be! What else could this be??), but the way he pet my head and rubbed my cheeks did help me to settle down, just enough that I stopped wiggling in his arms.

At least until Papyrus took out his phone, and started taking selfies of the two of us in our matching neckwear. I could hardly contain myself when he then went on to set the best-looking photo as his phone's new wallpaper background. As he smiled to himself in satisfaction, I wanted to cry tears of joy at the fact that this was a moment that Papyrus deemed important enough to want to commemorate and be constantly reminded of. It was a precious memory for me, as well, one that I would cherish forever.

Papyrus struggled a little to navigate the shopping cart while holding me in his arms, but despite that, he never showed any inclination to put me back down, which I felt pretty grateful for. I was also secretly pleased that he seemed to enjoy our cuddles just as much as I did.

It was after we’d (well, Papyrus had, technically) made our purchases, that we ran into two unexpected individuals. I recognised the human almost instantly, as her face had been plastered all over the various news channels and newspapers for over a year, following the sudden emergence of monsters from Mt. Ebott. Frisk, famed liberator of monsterkind, and their much-lauded ambassador, wore a pleasantly surprised expression on her pretty face, as she greeted Papyrus.

“Hi Pap, nice to see you today,” her voice was soft and delicate, filled with warm familiarity.

A flower with six, bright golden petals, had its long, thorny, vine-like stems wrapped around her upper arm. To my surprise, the flower had what was undeniably a face on its androecium. Said face looked bored and mildly annoyed, as it too greeted Papyrus.

“Howdy. Didn’t expect to run into you today,” his high-pitched, masculine voice was much less friendly than his companion’s, and had a sarcastic edge to it, as if he was used to mocking other people. Something about this flower made my hackles raise, and I couldn’t help feeling very wary of him. Papyrus, however, did not share my caution, as his expression brightened upon seeing the two of them.

“FRISK!! FLOWEY!! MY VERY COOL FRIENDS!! HOW WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU TWO!! TODAY IS A GREAT DAY! I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES!”

Frisk giggled, a fond smile on her lips, while Flowey (what an unimaginative name for a flower, what idiot came up with it?) rolled his eyes, though without malice, as I could see the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. Frisk’s face lit up when she caught sight of me, still held in Papyrus’s arms.

“Oh, what an adorable little pupper!” she cooed at me, and Papyrus proudly lifted me up into the air, as if showing me off to his friends.

“INDEED SHE IS! VERY ADORABLE!! SHE HELPED ME LOOK FOR MY DOG, WHEN HE WENT MISSING YESTERDAY. AND SINCE SHE DIDN’T HAVE A HOME OF HER OWN, SHE’S SHARING MINE. SHE’S ALREADY A MUCH BETTER HOUSEMATE THAN BOTH SANS AND THAT MISCHIEVOUS DOG! SHE’S VERY GREAT!! NYEH HEH HEH!!”

I barked happily, my tail wagging madly at his praise. Frisk’s smile softened as she gazed at us.

“That’s wonderful, Paps. I’m so happy for you.”

At her side, Flowey rolled his eyes again, this time more emphatically.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Good for you. So what’s the little runt’s name, anyway?”

Papyrus didn’t seem put out by the flower’s rudeness in the slightest, as he answered with his usual enthusiasm.

“I HAVE NO IDEA! THE LITTLE LADY HASN’T TOLD ME YET.”

Flowey gave him an incredulous look.

“It’s a dog . It can’t talk, you idiot.”

It was Papyrus’s turn to shoot Flowey an incredulous look, though a much more polite one.

“OF COURSE SHE CAN TALK! YOU JUST HEARD HER A FEW SECONDS AGO!”

Flowey looked exasperated, while Frisk looked to be struggling not to laugh.

“That’s just barking! It’s not talking! It doesn’t mean anything!”

Flowey was waving his leaves in the air, the way one would wave their arms. Papyrus frowned at him in disapproval.

“JUST BECAUSE YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE’S SAYING, DOESN’T MEAN SHE’S NOT TALKING! OR THAT HER WORDS HAVE ANY LESS MEANING! ANYONE WHO HAS SOMETHING WORTH SAYING IS WORTH LISTENING TO!!”

Flowey let out a wordless yell of aggravation, before burying his face in Frisk’s shoulder, grumbling incoherently. Frisk tutted softly, lifting her other arm to run her fingers gently over Flowey’s petals, patting the back of his head in consolation.

It was only now occurring to me that the way Papyrus treated me was probably a little unusual. He treated me as if I was still human, and capable of fully understanding him, instead of as the simple dog I appeared to be. Now, I may be much closer to animals than I am to people, but that didn’t mean that I was ignorant of the fact that mundane animals weren’t sapient. I wasn’t that delusional. Midnight was special, being a witch’s familiar, but that didn’t mean that his intelligence was on the same level as a human’s or monster’s. At least, I didn’t think so. Admittedly, it was hard to tell with him...

Regardless, I wouldn’t have blamed Papyrus if he’d treated me as dismissively as Flowey did. By all rights, he should’ve, given my current form. But he didn’t. He chose to afford me the same level of respect, as he did every other person he met. Because he seemed to believe that I deserved it. I couldn’t say for sure whether that was because that’s just the kind of person Papyrus was, or because of some deeper meaning. Part of me hoped that it was because he could sense something more in me, that he felt that I was special. I very much wanted to be somebody special to him. Hopefully, someday I would be.

While I was having my mini epiphany, Frisk had stopped comforting Flowey, who had turned his head away to sulk quietly to himself, and had begun unravelling one of the ribbons she wore in her hair.

“You’re exactly right, Pap. She’s clearly a clever little doggy with many clever things to say,” I barked in agreement, and she smiled at me. “And such a smart pupper deserves a ribbon, to show everyone how smart she is.”

Frisk then reached out to me, to tie her ribbon around my collar into a cute bow. I tried to twist my head around to examine it properly, while the other woman stood back a little, to admire her handiwork.

“There we go. A dainty little bow, for a dainty little girl.”

I preened at the compliment, feeling very cute indeed. Papyrus squealed with delight, his eye sockets sparkling and a light blush staining his cheekbones.

“WOWIE!! YOU’RE RIGHT! PRETTY GIRLS DESERVE PRETTY BOWS!! OH, AND PRETTY FLOWERS TOO!”

Oooo, yes please! I barked excitedly. I loved flowers! The poisonous ones were especially colourful. And the ones which tried to eat you always had the most interesting magical properties. My garden was full of all kinds of flowers, all of which were incredibly useful for potion making. I’d never thought to put any in my clothes or my hair before, but the idea seemed like it would be fun. So long as I didn’t have any small creatures nesting under my hat, or inside my pockets, that is, I didn’t want them to get hurt.

I noticed that Frisk was giving me a considering look.

“Hey Pap? Now that you’ve got both a boy dog and a girl dog... Do you have any plans yet on getting either of them fixed?”

I froze. What. No . Fuck no. Absolutely. Not . Papyrus looked confused.

“FIXED? BUT THEY ARE NOT BROKEN??”

Frisk looked uncomfortable, as she bit her lip. Flowey, on the other hand, seemed to have recovered from his little sulk session, and was back to looking truly done with the world.

“She means, are you planning to stop your mutts from having puppies.”

My lips curled back in a sneer, as I bared my teeth at that disgusting idea. As if I would ever let that horrible thief of a dog so much as touch me! Papyrus seemed equally unconvinced of that possibility.

“I REALLY DO NOT THINK THAT WILL EVER HAPPEN. THE TWO OF THEM... WELL... THEY DON’T SEEM TO LIKE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH, DESPITE MY BEST EFFORTS,” his voice had lowered slightly, which wasn’t saying much, but he was clearly a little embarrassed, maybe even ashamed, to admit to that he wasn’t able to get his own pets to get along with each other. “I HAVE ALREADY ACCEPTED THAT THEY PROBABLY WON’T EVER BE FRIENDS. SO, THEY DEFINITELY WON’T EVER GET MARRIED. OR HAVE FLUFFY BABYBONES.”

Never, ever, EVER! I insisted with every ounce of my being. Papyrus’s expression softened as he pet my head to soothe my angry growls.

“BUT THAT IS FINE! THAT TROUBLESOME DOG OF MINE HAS ALREADY FOUND A DATE MATE! MR. MIDNIGHT IS A VERY COOL CAT! AND HE AND MY DOG SEEM VERY HAPPY TOGETHER! SO WHILE THERE WON’T BE A DOG WEDDING! THERE MIGHT BE A CAT-AND-DOG WEDDING!! NYEH! HEH! HEH HEH!!”

Urgh... While I’m here, stuck as a chihuahua, my familiar is off canoodling and having his own little bromance with that stupid dog. Fair weather friend, indeed. .. I grumbled to myself. I was the one who was supposed to be looking for their true love. Not my cat! Life really was unfair sometimes. Papyrus interrupted my lamenting by massaging my ears.

“AND BESIDES... MY SWEET, LITTLE LADY HAS ME AS HER VERY COOL FRIEND!”

Frisk’s smile was full of warmth and affection.

“And you are worth a dozen, no, a hundred friends! I’m sure she feels so full with your friendship, that she doesn’t need anyone else.”

Papyrus looked troubled, despite the compliment.

“WHILE I AM VERY COOL! AND VERY GREAT! AND MY FRIENDSHIP POWER IS UNMATCHED! I DO WANT HER TO SPREAD HER FRIEND-ENERGY OUT MORE... I THINK SHE’LL HAVE A HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE THAT WAY. AND MAYBE THEN, SHE’LL REACH HER MAX POTENTIAL! AND BE THE VERY BEST SELF SHE CAN BE! NYEH!!”

Frisk gave him a sweet smile, nodding her head at his words. Even Flowey’s expression had softened just a little, and there was undeniable fondness in his eye roll.

“Too true, Pap, you’re right as always,” Frisk winked at him, then smiled down at me, causing my ears to instinctively perk up at the friendly look. “And I hope this adorable, tiny pup might come to consider me a friend, too. I’d love to be friends with such a little cutie.”

Her sweet tone made my tail wag, and her smile widened. Papyrus gazed between the two of us, with a thoughtful look on his skull. He then gave Frisk a pleading look.

“REALLY!? IF SO, THEN... I HAVE A FAVOUR TO ASK! ABOUT THIS ONE. YOU SEE, I HAVE TO GO TO WORK SOON. AND SANS HAS WORK TOO. AND AS I’VE MENTIONED, MY LITTLE LADY DOESN’T GET ALONG WELL WITH MY OTHER DOG. SO, I’D WORRY ABOUT HER IF I LEFT HER, ALL ON HER OWN IN THE HOUSE, WITH ONLY HIM FOR COMPANY. I’D REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU COULD TAKE CARE OF HER FOR ME. JUST FOR THE AFTERNOON! JUST UNTIL I CAN COME PICK HER UP THIS EVENING! SHE’LL BE NO TROUBLE, I PROMISE! SHE’S A VERY GOOD GIRL!! SO PLEASE! PRETTY PLEASE!!”

Frisk was already nodding her head before Papyrus had even finished speaking.

“Oh, I’d love too! I wouldn’t mind at all. If Flowey doesn’t object, of course,” she looked imploringly at her flower companion, who made a show of huffing and groaning in displeasure, before finally grumbling “fiiiiine”, although he stared at me with curiosity from out of the corner of his eyes. Papyrus beamed at the two of them.

“NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!! THANK YOU!! SO MUCH!! I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON MY TWO VERY GREAT FRIENDS!! I FEEL MUCH BETTER, KNOWING YOU TWO WILL BE LOOKING AFTER MY GIRL! AND I HOPE! THAT YOU WILL ALL BE!! BEST FRIENDS!! NYEH!!”

He then gently handed me over to Frisk’s eager hands, who immediately cuddled me close, nuzzling her face into my fur. My nose twitched as the woman’s sweet, flowery scent invaded my sensitive nostrils. It was actually a very pleasant smell. And an oddly familiar one... But where had I...? And then it hit me. Sans! That’s where I knew this scent from! It was the strangely out-of-place scent I detected clinging to him. Those two must be pretty close, for her scent to linger on him like that... Hmmm ...

My internal musings were cut short when Papyrus pet my head. He was smiling down at me, though his expression was sad.

“I SHALL MISS YOU! I AM, IN FACT, MISSING YOU ALREADY! NYOO HOO HOO...”

He seemed reluctant to leave, as he began listing off instructions on how to care for dogs in general, and me in particular, including all of the things he’d noticed I enjoyed (most of which I hadn’t even realised myself! This guy must have been paying really close attention to me. How flattering~) but after several reassurances from Frisk, an exasperated scolding from Flowey, and some confident barks from me, he finally walked away, calling back to me as he disappeared from view.

“GOODBYE! BE GOOD! AND PLEASE! DON’T FORGET ABOUT ME WHILE I’M GONE!!"

And then he passed behind some cars and was gone. As if I could ever forget you , I shook my head at that ridiculous notion. Now that Papyrus was gone, Flowey was eyeing me with open curiosity. Frisk giggled at her friend’s behaviour, one eyebrow raised at him.

“Well then, guys, let’s be off. We’ve gotta get this adorable baby settled in. How do you two feel about pizza for lunch?”

Flowey and I both cheered at her suggestion and she smiled indulgently at us. And with one final look at where I’d last seen Papyrus, the three of us were off, to go have one of the most... interesting hang-outs I’d ever experienced.

______________________________________________

The final chapter might take a little longer, since it has to fit the rest of the story's events, and because I need to slow down a bit. I've been devoting most of my free time to writing this fic, and while I've been having a blast, it has been taking a bit of a toll on me. Not enough to dampen my enthusiasm for writing this, but enough that I should probably slow down, at least a little. I'll still get that last chapter out, I promise, hand on heart, but it might take a few extra days.

Also, the sweater Papyrus wears is this one, also seen here, in case you were curious. It's adorable and he's adorable in it <3

#JMB writes #papyrus x reader #papyrus #witch reader #papyrus my beloved #minor frans #minor sans x frisk #more in the next chapter #more flowey #i love me some tsundere flower bitch #papyrus is both sweet and encouraging #what a cool dude

[pockou]

skin ⤻ chpt. one

— pairings: jean kirschtein x fem bodied nb!reader

— warnings: none for now

— summary: after reuniting with your childhood bestfriend, jean and a long heated night together you establish a friends with benefits relationship. what could go wrong?

— modern au

— wc: 2.6k

— a/n: sorry nothing really happened, this is really just me setting things up !

⤺ skin masterlist

After a long and stressful day with work, you finally arrived home. The first thing that crossed your mind was letting your mother know you’d be skipping out on brunch with her and some old friends the next afternoon so you could catch up on some much needed sleep. You removed your shoes and wiped the small bit of sweat which was accumulating on your forehead, outside felt like a heatwave being it was nearing the peak of summer, work has been pretty busy lately with all the moms coming in and demanding for you to restock the pool noodles — which obviously you had no control over just being a mere cashier. You never knew how stressful it could be just standing behind a counter all day, which you didn’t take into account is the long and blistering walk home. Maybe a summer job wasn’t the best choice?

“Oh hey Mom!” Your mom was just passing by with a laundry basket in hand, probably heading to clean clothes for tomorrow.

“Hi Y/N, how was work?”

“Long.” You filled a cup of cold apple juice up before turning back over to her, “By the way, I can’t go with you and dad to brunch tomorrow. I’m pooped and need some extra sleep.”

“Y/N, you can’t skip out, I understand you’re tired but an old friend who you’ll probably be happy to see is going to be there, and i’ll make sure you don’t miss him, he’s rarely in town anymore.”

“He?” You tried to think of all the guys who’ve came into your life which your parents took a liking to, there were a few but not any you really would want to see.

“Yes, he. Now get showered you smell like clorax and sweat!”

“Jeez Mom way to put it lightly!” You both laughed together, these moments definitely made you glad you decided to move back for the summer and stay off of campus. You picked up your phone after it buzzed and saw an incoming follow request from “Jean Kirschtein” the name rang a bell but ultimately you chose to ignore it and decline. You decided to fix the obvious awful scent which was coming from you and headed to shower.

You looked at the array of bath soaps, body scrubs and shampoos you and your mom shared, you picked up the ‘vanilla mint’ scent which always brought comfort to you for some odd reason, it just has for as long as you could remember. After massaging your head with shampoo and conditioner you shaved your legs until you were satisfied with the outcome and jumped out of the shower. Noticing the time after you went to pause your music you realized just how long you took, it was already past seven pm and your dad should be home, hopefully with dinner. Before leaving, you moisturized your legs and added an acne serum to your face, gently patting it into your cheeks and forehead. You just threw on some boxer-like shorts and one of your dads old band tees and peeked into the kitchen.

“Hey darling.”

“Hey Dad, did you pick up dinner?” You leaned over the counter giggling at your mothers antics, being she was behind your father mocking him.

“Yes I did, burritos good? There’s this new joint by the office.”

“Sick, thanks dad! I’ll set the table, love you.” You pecked his cheek before grabbing plates and cups for the three of you, you hadn’t remembered the last time you ate, it probably was around eleven when you had your lunch breaks. Which you believed to be a bit too early for lunch. You smiled widely at both of your parents as they sat down at the table.

“What do you guys want to drink? I’ll go get somethin’ for us all.”

“I’ll just have a water pumpkin.” You took your dads cup and gave him a thumbs up then looked to your mother.

“I still have my protein shake i’ll be fine!”

“Mkay!” You took yours and your dads cups and filled them about halfway with water, adding a bit of lemon and ice to yours, “Dad do ya want ice?”

“Sure, thank you. Now hurry up your foods getting cold!” You shuffled back over to the table handing your dad his iced water and flashing him a shiny smile.

“Thanks again!” After that you dug into your dinner and the whole meal was filled with your dad telling you and your mom about people calling in asking for help with computers and you telling them about annoying people you had to deal with and, of course your mom complaining about Amy from her yoga class.

By the time you all died down and your mom mentioned you should all get some sleep so you’d all be in good moods for brunch in the morning, inevitably you gave up in trying to skip out due to your moms persistence to join them. You walked into your room to be greeted by the warmth and comfort it always gave off to you, you grabbed your phone and plopped onto your bed ready to finally wind down and relax after such a long day. Your eyes got heavy and you felts drowsy before you gave in and fell into a deep sleep. You dreamed of the same boy you had been for a while, he was cute, really cute and he always brought comfort to you. This dream always took place in a pre-k classroom, playing will blocks and legos and the smell of popcorn and juice in the air. He always came up with a smile on his face which was missing one of his front teeth already, some spaghetti sauce around his mouth and asking if you wanted to play tag. But everytime before you said yes, you always woke up and you were no longer in a carefree mindset like a child and that boy was never there all that was there was a loud ‘beep beep beep’ sound ringing in your ears which never failed to wake you up right at ten thirty am.

This time your mom was also in your room, rummaging throughout your dresser drawers. She was humming the same song she used to sing you to sleep with which always made you smile. You whined as you sat up stretching.

“Morning honey, can you wear this today?” She had just a white tee and a jean shorts pretty simple and nice to wear in the summer.

“Sure that’s fine, how much time do I have?”

“Around an hour or so, make sure you hurry please I don’t wanna be late.”

“Mkay, by the way when do I getta know who this wonderboy is?”

“When you see him you’ll know, trust me. Now get ready!”

She walked out of your room to let you get dressed, after putting on the outfit she chose you just found some random sandals to wear and fixed your hair a bit, you still had some time to spare so you just chilled on the couch playing a random cooking game. Your mom came out to show herself off and she did her cheesy little jazz hands.

“You look beautiful Momma.”

“Thank you, Y/N, you look great aswell.” You both looked in the kitchen to see your dad eating something, “We are literally going to brunch why in the world are you eating?” She obviously wasn’t mad but she shook her hand at your dad which made you both chuckle. They both had been together since they were in highschool and seemed to have an unbreakable bond. That was something you’ve always wanted with another person, just to be able to find comfort in another so easily, and trust them no matter what. And just the very way they looked at eachother and the loving gaze they shared, it was everything, they were soulmates and all you wanted was to find something like that. Your special person.

“Well, we should get going, the car drive is a bit long id say.” You lifted yourself up from the couch and followed them, still looking down at your game. You plopped into the car once again, and just gazed out the window.

“Where are we goin’ again?”

“Just a pancake house, nothing too special y’know?”

“Mkay, thanks Mom.” You looked back down at your phone to see that ‘Jean’ guy requesting you again, you found it kinda weird but you decided to look at his account. He was attractive. No he was fucking hot, he had a shiny ash blonde mullet, which some of it was a darker shade, somewhat brown. His hair had a slight wave at the ends adding just a bit of volume to it. You scrolled a little bit more to find out he had a chihuahua and a shitzu. He was also doing good in school and — you double tapped. You mentally cursed at yourself, you just liked a post from not too long ago but still he’d now know you’re looking at his account. Out of guilt you let him follow you, you had to now atleast. You just turned off your phone and flipped it over, ignoring what just happened.

“You alright? You look sick.” You looked up to your mom who was looking at you from the front seat, “If its about ‘wonderboy’ don’t be too scared you two used to be so close, you’ll click instantly!”

“Mkay Mom, and I’m fine.” You acted as if you totally didn’t just stalk a hot guy on Instagram, gawk over him then like one of his posts from a few weeks back. You were totally fine, what else could happen. You were incredibly tempted to go look at his page again, his arms always seemed to fill his sleeves from what you saw and, he had a stubble which was just a shade darker than his hair. He dressed incredibly well and looked like he smelled like fancy cologne. You checked your phone and it already had been thirty minutes.

“Mom when’ll we get there?”

“It’s just done the road, relax honey.” You sighed in relief, your stomach had been churning the past few minutes and you needed out of that humid car. Once you parked and looked at the time, it was half past eleven, the exact time of your reservation.

“Alright, we’re at a patio table so you two walk their i’ll go talk with the bouncer to see if the others are here.” Your dad patted your head before walking off to check in, you followed behind your mom. With your hands in your pocket you guys turned the corner and a certain someone caught your eye, the guy from instagram, Jean was it? He was sitting in the patio, her hair was thrown into a ponytail and a chocolate brown like some of Jeans hair, she was cute and obviously his mother.

“Oh my goodness, Kirschtein is that you?!” Your eyes widened, these were the people you were joining for brunch. “Jean! You’ve grown so much, you look very handsome now.”

“Thank you ma’am, Y/N is that you?” He smiled widely before stepping closer to you and embracing you in a bear hug, you let out a small defeated laugh before hugging him back, “How’ve you been? How long has it been?”

“Since preschool.” Your gazes went to his mom who stole you from Jean and hugged you even tighter. You felt the life being squeezed out of your ribs, even though you barely remembered these hugs. And the scent you’ve always loved, both Jean and his mom smelled like vanilla and mint, it was pretty ironic. You all took a seat waiting for your dad to come back before you ordered anything. Jean was seated across from you, his legs were a bit on your end of the table but you just ignored it, everything seemed so awkward yet comfortable all at the same time. Jeans presence was just comforting and made you feel warm and whenever he talked to you and kept eye contact? That made you wanna scream, you two hadn’t seen eachother for years but instantly clicked.

Once your Dad came back, he had five menus in hand and gave them all out. You all talked amongst yourselves about what you’ll get to eat, and what you’ll be getting to drink, ultimately you settled on a coffee, so did your Dad. While Jeans mom and your Mom giggled about some drink they used to always share before ordering two of them, Jean got a decaf. It seemed plain but you weren’t one to talk. You had been engulfed in whatever it was you were doing on your phone until Jean kicked you lightly and gestured to his own phone. You clicked on instagram and saw he had messaged you there.

“Hey, so are we gonna talk abt you stalking me orr?”

“No, we’re not Jean, please just forget abt it.”

After that your drinks had finally came, now you all had to order you got just some pancakes, nothing special. Jean got an omelette while his and your Mom shared french toast and your Dad got waffles. The conversation over brunch went well, Jean shared about what he was studying in during the last school year, as did you. Your familys just caught up with what had been going on, Jean had adopted two dogs over the past year — which you already knew, he was doing good in school and his studies. You just sat there kind of awkwardly being just an hour or two before you were stalking him and thinking about how hot he was, you were snapped back into reality when his Mom asked you something.

“Have you been with anybody recently?”

“Mom! You can’t just ask her that, we haven’t seen her in years..” Jean whipped his head to the side looking at his Mom.

“No Jean it’s fine, but I haven’t.”

“Oh really? You’re so pretty? I find that hard to believe!” You smiled at her, she was obviously trying to be nice. You all continued eating, Jean paying close attention to his phone.

“Well Jean, have you seen anyone recently?”

“Mom!! Seriously?” You were confused about what your moms were trying to pull off, asking random questions back to back on the same subject.

“Y/N it’s fine. And No Mrs. L/N, I actually haven’t.” Jean stretched backwards, his arm muscles slightly flexing while he did so.

“Hmmm, interesting.. Well, finish up everyone.” You had already finished eating so all you had to do was wait for everyone else to finish. You played that same dumb cooking game for what felt like an eternity your Mom finally tapped your shoulder to get your attention.

“We should be heading out, by the way you two are invited for dinner tomorrow, feel free to come by anytime!” You got up with your mom, waving a goodbye to Jean and his mother. Now you had to endure a car ride most likely of your mother blabbing on about how you should get with Jean, that was something you didn’t wanna think or talk about.

You napped in the car for most of the ride until your phone started to buzz in your pocket, which woke you up from your dazed state. You checked the notification to see Jean had sent you a message.

“Y’know you got pretty hot right?”

“What? Jean thats random.”

“Fuck I mean that in the most respectful way possible.”

“Mkay.” You rolled your eyes, although you could say the same about him you were fond of his boldness but that was definitely a worry for another day. All you were worried about was what you’ll be doing now with him coming over again. Were you going to make a move in the same way he did or ignore his antics completely? And that was the last thought you had before falling asleep again.

#jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirschtein #jean kirstein #jean kirsten x reader #aot x reader #aot #snk x reader #snk #skin. ➷

[roughentumble]

I would like to hear.. your silence of the lambs series opinions......

series as in, the new clarice tv show that's out? haven't watched it yet. series as in, those old movies that feature anthony hopkins as hannibal lecter? surely!

fair warning, i probably dont have anything new to say that hasnt been said before, considering these are all long since classics, and my thoughts might be a little disjointed.

it's difficult to sum up opinions about it on the whole, since the movie quality honestly varies so wildly, and as i recall basically every single movie had a different director lol. also like, there's definitely a reason silence of the lambs stood out as The hannibal movie that got talked about and went into The Annals Of Film History n' all that. there's something about jodie foster's performance that's particularly electric(though that could be nostalgia talking, i suppose)

the opportunities she had, as an actress, to really show emotion on her face, like the claustrophobic close-ups we got were really intimate and interesting, added to the sense we were getting into her head. that HANNIBAL was getting into her head. i've already used the word intimate, but really, the long drawn out conversations/monologues between her and hannibal are just that-- intimate. you have to have stellar performances to pull off that much dialogue, and shots that intensely focused, where a face takes up so much of the screen. but it works! because hopkins and foster are fantastic actors, and jonathen demme is a good director.

there's a reason a lot of people didn't like the switch to julianne moore, and i would say it isnt entirely moore's fault. ridley scott, for one, is simply a different director with different ideas of shot composition, which changes how the character feels pretty drastically when the style so heavily informed your feelings for her. but also, in general, the film just kind of approaches clarice from a different angle, which is pretty bumpy territory to go into on the tail of switching your lead actress. not only is moore just really different from foster, but we've gone from this kind of invasive intimacy with hannibal probing her in confined spaces, to her being on the chase. in particular what sticks out to me is a chase sequence where she's trying to find hannibal in a crowded mall.(i think it was a mall?? its been a minute since i last watched the film haha) despite how the crowd might lead to a sense of claustrophobia, these are wide open shots with lots of spinning and movement, no time for introspective face journies. it's a chase in a totally different sense than before, and that i think is major difference in tone. which isn't to say it's a bad choice, or a loss, or that it's worse, just that it's fundamentally very different material that moore was given fo work with. of course her performance differed from fosters!

i still think jodie foster did it better, but some folks were too hard on julianne moore. if anything, hold beef with the writers and new director for pivoting tonally(although, dont do that either, i think it was an interesting shift. the scene with her and hannibal, where hannibal fries up that dude's brain was SO GOOD, i loved loved loved the return to a twisted sense of intimacy for that scene, and a few others, and that sense of return wouldn't have hit the same were the whole movie to follow the same tone as demme's work.)

also quick sidebar, when i watched hannibal(the movie from 2001) i was BLOWN AWAY by realizing, in retrospect, just how absolutely perfectly micheal pitt nailed the role of mason verger in hannibal(the tv show). vocally, he sounded almost identicle to the og performance, WHAT!!! major props, i love micheal pitt. so cool

manhunter 1987 or whatever year it came out is garbage and we dont talk about it. it was physically painful to watch. my poor mother made us stop watching hannibal movies for the rest of the day because it literally put her in physical pain. it's so 80s i want to vomit. do not recommend.

red dragon was pretty good, and if you entered the series of films armed only with knowledge of hannibal nbc, gave some really fascinating context to some of the events therein. edward norton's performance was fine-- didn't blow my mind, but i do love to watch him on screen. anthony hopkins' portrayal of a free hannibal, on the run, who still can't help but taunt the police and stick his nose into investigations was shockingly compelling, despite how much of a cliche trope that's become in recent years. can't say i recall anything interesting to say about the directing, but it certainly doesnt hold the same intimacy of the previous films-- but then again, we've lost the intimate character of clarice, swapping her out for graham(who simply isnt as close, or interesting, or compelling, when he isnt on nbc and shaking like a wet chihuahua)

hannibal rising, the last film in the series, was very very very bad. BUT, unlike manhunter 198whatever, it managed to be fun about it! lots of very goofy deaths and things to make you roll your eyes, stupid character motivations and odd acting choices. but it seems aware, on some level, that it's the last and the silliest of the entries into this particular film series, which earns it some good will. whether or not its worth a watch comes down to how much you're willing to consume everything with the name hannibal on it, and whether you can abide by a hannibal that isnt played by sir anthony hopkins.

OK. ok. we're getting to the end of my thoughts here, kids. i prommy.

it's also, despite every single part of it that i enjoy and that brings me joy, almost unforgivably racist and transphobic. the weird exotification and obsession with asia(and japan in particular), especially when none of those elements felt important or relevant to the story was consistently shocking, and consistently present in essentially every single hannibal movie, ESPECIALLY ones that dealt with his childhood. it didn't ever feel like a natural part of the story, where they happened include people from another culture or anything, it felt like the author's fetish. i never truly understood how these reoccuring themes and symbols were meant to tie in with the rest of the story, even after an entire film set in the past, showiing hannibal's childhood and how he came to live with a japanese woman. it was weird! it was uncomfortable! it was bad! even hannibal nbc couldnt make it not weird. i'd love a hannibal movie with a japanese person in it who WASNT treated really, really, really weird. but i dont think i will ever get that.

and like. wrt transphobia-- do i even need to say it? buffalo bill's been talked to death. we all know the issue there.

if a japanese person, or a trans woman, came to me and said "shawn, everyone says its a classic, but i cant bring myself to watch [insert hannibal movie here]" i would not blame them. it isnt the whole movie, but its enough to feel real bad, scoob.

its not enough to make me fall out of love with silence of the lambs, or hate hannibal(the film, god thats a confusing name), or even hate the film series, but its something that deserves tl be talked about. i've heard lots of discussion on the transphobia, but basically none on the racism, which is a real shame. sometimes it feels like no one else even noticed it, and it really leaves me floundering, because its like-- its RIGHT THERE and its so weird and bad. thomas harris, what the fuck

OKAY I THINK THATS ALL MY THOUGHTS FOR NOW?????? i could maybe come up with more, *shrugs*, but i'd need more time at least.

summary:: very problematic, and not because he eats people. but overall some of the films are fantastic, and silence of the lambs does hold a special place in my heart. and even if i didnt like it nearly as much, i'll defend hannibal(the film with julianne moore) till im blue in the face, because even if it didnt quite capture lightening in a bottle it still brought some interesting things to the table. decent enough movie series with enough variation in film tone and quality to make watching them all in a row enjoyable, because it keeps things from getting stale. (could probably have done with SOME consistency tho, lol, they were really flying by the seat of their pants. they had hopkins and that was IT, only thing that carried over from production to production lol)

#im exaggerating wrt that last line abt hopkins #they couldve had other people in the staff that worked on multiple films in the series #i havent looked THAT much into it

[cruzrogue]

Fighting Actions

#Fictober19 @fictober-event

————————————————————————

for fanfiction:

Prompt number: 20  “You could talk about it, you know?” 

Xtra prompt:  "So you think u r field ready huh?"  prompt suggestion is a continuation to that one, where Felicity gets her turn to defend herself. I can see L getting angry and raising her hand to hit Felicity. But unbeknownst to the team, Sara trained Felicity in some moves after a handsy guy at verdant and put L on the ground.

Fandom (AU if applicable): #arrow fanfiction #olicity

Rating:PG13

Felicity Smoak vs Laurel Lance

Warnings/Tags:  Mild name calling and a small fighting piece.

Summary:   Continuation to Fighting Words, instead of Diggle its Felicity vs Laurel. After trying to be nice and work with the sister of a fallen friend Felicity has had it with the inconsiderate woman in the lair she calls a part of her home.

Notes: A companion piece to prompt 6  “Yes, I’m aware. Your point?” John Diggle vs Laurel Lance

~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~sp@ce~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~

​Fighting Actions on A03

Oliver can tell something is up with his girl Wednesday. She’s just doing her best to keep her distance from him. The lair is only so wide in space. It’s hard not to focus on certain spots and one of them is Felicity’s workspace. The one area that everyone seems to intersect on. The brains of any operation goes through that spot. That specific station she uses also progressed since its conception to be the eyes and ears on the field where her voice has on many occasions more than he can count on both hands led them from certain doom. She uses her craft to engage in keeping them safe as filters through intel rapidly and he is always in awe on how the heart of the team keeps a certain flare of positivity. She really is something else and right now he notices that she isn’t herself.

Pulling a chair in a manner that tells her he’s coming over to talk. Like a real sit down tête-à-tête. If she is bothered by this, he can’t tell she hasn’t really moved a muscle as she’s stiff in his presence.

“You could talk about it, you know?” He says this hoping it opens her up just a bit. Something is bothering her and he’s like to know what. Now that he is close he is noticing something she’s doing her best to cover her hand. Why didn’t he notice this earlier? These moments observing her, he not once saw her type her hands under the table away from prying eyes. His focus on her face mostly but he won’t deny that he did a once over from her toes up her legs until the view was constricted by the table hiding a good portion of her body from where he was standing earlier. “Felicity? What is wrong with your hands?”

A long sigh of hers and he’s now is beyond worried. “It’s really just one hand.” Then she is quiet again and Oliver counts slowly to three because there is no way he’d make it to ten.

“Let me see?”

“I just have a swollen hand and I have it wrapped in ice. I’m good.”

In a more direct authoritative voice, “Let me see.” That gets her to finally really look at him as she’s been trying to hide in plain sight. Pulling out her hands from under the table. He can see her right hand is wrapped with a towel. Taking it softly he begins to unwrap the cloth around her hand to see a large ice bag against her knuckles. Their purple. It could be the coldness of the ice which she shouldn’t have directly on her skin for long periods of time. He’s worried even more now.

“I’ve had it wrapped for fifteen minutes, I’ve been trying to look calm so you’d do your thing and I could peek at my hand.”

“Felicity, did you… did you get into a fight?”

She pulls her hand back about to ice it again when Oliver places his hand over hers in a hoover fashion so not to really touch and hurt her.

“Let’s check your hand. You’ve had it on ice for a good amount of time. We don’t want to constrict the blood vessels.” He takes the ice from her. “We can add ice again later. Right now let’s allow the injured area to get the blood flow back. Allow for the healing process to begin.”

“Okay.”

“In the meantime you can tell me how this injury came to be.”

“I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Does it happen to include another woman by let’s say the name Laurel?”

“What? Why do you ask?” Felicity eyes are like saucers and that answers his question even though he’ll wait for her answer.

“Felicity?”

“Alright. Yes, it does evolve your perfect ex.”

“Perfect?” He tries not to laugh. Are they talking about the same woman? His ex is far from perfect and he doesn’t like that Felicity even feels inferior to a woman who struts around acting all mighty while pushing people’s buttons. He knows John has told his peace to Laurel. Making sure the woman knows exactly where she stands. In a way he’s noticed since that confrontation two weeks ago that John and Laurel have a more admirable relationship.

“Since Sara died, Laurel… Well I can understand her anger. I’ve tried to not let her spite get to me but tonight…” Felicity stops she doesn’t need Oliver’s sympathy. She’ the odd girl out the one of them that can’t fight.

“I prefer if you don’t ever need to fight.” She moans she said that last part out loud. “From where I am sitting, you must have a great right hook.”

“What?”

“I was upstairs tending to Laurel’s nosebleed she wouldn’t tell me what happened. I thought she got into another over her head situation. Gave her another speech of a few boxing lessons doesn’t equate to a vigilante fighter.”

“Do you think she listened?”

“If she is so perfect like you stated she would. Now we both know she’s like a Chihuahua all bark and maybe she’ll get some moves. I mean she’ll have to if…” He shakes his head. “She doesn’t belong here; her place is in the courtroom when her bark is the strongest.”

“I used her own sister’s teachings to punch her in the face. I am a horrible person.”

“Sara taught you some moves?”

“Don’t get mad.”

Oliver makes a pfft sound.

“No really Oliver.”

“Felicity? When someone says those words it means you know very well what you are about to tell me will make me mad.”

Her eyes shut in realization but now that she opened her mouth she just tells him about the guy who took a liking to her. He wouldn’t take no for an answer and well Sara intervened the first time and showed Felicity some moves. What started as just how to break from a hold became a lot more lessons in self-defense. So much so that when the creep made his move and she politely told him no, she had to knock some sense into him. It’s a secret she shares with Quentin Lance as he hauled the man to jail. She told the man his daughter is the reason she could even protect herself. Seeing the unknown pride show in the man’s eyes was enough for a moment between them.

“Why didn’t you tell John or myself? Even Roy would…”

“Because I’m not a damsel-in-distress. I can’t always rely on others when I’m by myself.”

“Felicity, it’s not that I…”

“Oh please. You’re like a caveman at times.” She waves her good hand at him. “I don’t need every guy who gives me the sideway glance to have an arrow somewhere on their appendage.”

He rolls his tongue to his cheek. She got him there. He’d have no problem tending to anyone who would assume to hurt her. “Okay, your right. I would have done some damage to this creep. Is he still a bother?”

“No. He moved. I have him on a program I created to keep tabs of… You know what? It’s not important.”

Oliver’s jaw tightens. She just told him indirectly that there is a list of suspects that have made enough of a mess in her orbit to be in a program created to keep tabs on them.

“Felicity?”

“You know what? I’m starting to have feeling in my hand again. It’s still throbs. Should I place ice on it again?”

“In a bit. I want to check it before we ice it again. It may not need it. Now about this program.”

“Oliver, it’s no big deal. It just something I created after my first stalker in college.” That wasn’t the right thing to say apparently because she can see the vein in his neck throb. “None of these people are in Starling anyways so…”

“I want to know who they are.”

“Now?” He looks at her hand. He should check it without any distraction.

“Later. I want to know more about these people. I know you’ll think I’m overreacting but it would make me feel better if I just know. Okay?”

“Fine.” She shrugs not worried about her safety.

“For now, you can tell me what happened between you and Laurel.” He can see she’s about to oppose. “And don’t you say nothing!”

Her sigh of defeat makes him give her a small smile.

“Fine!” She begins how she was working on her programs. Some were just updating while others she was adding some crime statistics to calculate a future problem. When Roy left to go hang with his girlfriend as Laurel came in a little more agitated than usual. The woman started nick picking things. Like she ran the place.

“Laurel, what brings you here?” Felicity tries to be pleasant, she wasn’t expecting Laurel to be here on a Friday night. The club upstairs is in full swing. She can hear the bass just above her. The new DJ is rocking the house.

“I don’t need a reason to come by.” Laurel looks at an empty spot near the glass cases. She may just place her things there. “Why is it so drafty in here?”

“It’s not any different than most nights.” Felicity just observes the woman who is walking around where Oliver places his leathers. “I just thought you had that court thing where you were planning to talk to that witness.”

“What? Are you keeping my schedule?”

“No, you just mentioned it the last time you were here.”

Laurel just hums a “hmm” out loud.

“Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Felicity? I don’t need your help. Just go back to typing, you know what you’re good at and let me do my thing.”

“I know the layout of the foundry quite well. I helped design it. If there is anything…”

“Can’t you take a hint. I said I was fine. Why are you here anyways?”

Felicity is stumped. Usually Laurel is just snippy but still reasonable. “Laurel I’m always here. This is my domain.”

“I never understood that? Is your life so empty that you need to hold onto a basement of a club? That’s just so pathetic.”

“I don’t consider it ridiculous not when I helped Oliver save a girl from being taken advantage of or John saving a couple from a mugging.”

“All you did is what? They were probably on their way to do it anyways.”

“You don’t think to highly of me. Do you? Not until you need something.”

“There is nothing really you have I need. You come off as a replacement piece. Easily replaceable. Maybe I should take a few computer classes at the community center and viola be following little dots on screens too.”

“Those dots don’t magically appear. I created the programs that has Oliver, John, and Roy tagged and yes color coded but you think you can just sit in my chair and what? Play a game with their lives because what I have set up is not a video game system. It blood, sweat, and tears of frustration creating programs that will keep my boys alive.”

“Yet you can’t figure out who killed my sister.”

“Why is this on me? You were there at the scene. You didn’t see no one and yet place all this stress on a family she cared for to. Granted you are her sister. You’re not the only one who cared about Sara.”

“You have some nerve.”

“Me? I’m not the one strutting around like a peacock. Someone who keeps being ruffed up because she doesn’t take this lifestyle seriously.” Felicity can’t help it now; this woman has ruffed her feathers to many times. She is no one’s doormat and if this woman wants to play with the big boys she better understand that Felicity Smoak is the keeper of this house.

This journey started with Oliver and John and it works because they have a deep respect for each other’s abilities. She’s all for feminism but there be hell to pay if Laurel thinks all because she’s a woman and is learning to fight in the world of vigilantism that she’ll outrank her. There is a fierce lioness in Felicity and protecting anyone in this family is her priority. When and if Laurel can cut it she’d be included but for now the woman is on a trial basis. It is this outsider who needs to prove herself.

“Says the keyboard warrior.” Laurel has had it with this girl. A person that has wiggled herself into Oliver Queen’s life. “You don’t put your life on the line. You’re just a technician.”

“Is that the only thing about me you don’t like or is there a certain someone that is over you that you need to take out on me?”

“Pfft, that one and only date. Don’t kid yourself.” Felicity stands her ground as it seems Laurel needs to get closer to maybe intimidate what she perceives as a threat. “Ollie will keep you around as long as it benefits him. As I said don’t kid yourself into believing there will ever be a you and him.”

“Finally we get what really irks you. He isn’t a prize to be won. If you think you need to scare off any competition than you really never had him.”

“You think you know him from what… The three years of being in his radar. I know Ollie before the Gambit and I know him now. You will never really know him.”

Felicity can’t help but laugh. This woman has some delusional problems. She thinks knowing Oliver pre-Gambit is the man she’d want to know. The boy slept with his girlfriend’s sister and who knows how many others. There be no way she’d even give him a glance back then especially those were the times that her hacktivism played a large roll in who she wanted to be.

“I am supposedly lucky because I’d hate to be stuck calling him a nickname that makes him cringe when you say it.”

“You’re just jealous.”

“Jealous? I can be many things but I’m over being jealous of you. I don’t envy you at all. Like I haven’t noticed how sweet you seem to be when you want something and then how flippant you can be when there is nothing in it for you.” Felicity still considers the woman to be perfect in certain ways. She can’t help that there is still lingering feelings of the last few years. All-in-all she truly considers Laurel to be a stubborn mule and maybe if they clean this air between them they could move forward. Becoming a family means there are times for a thrown down. As long as there is a respect built on it. At this moment she can’t see that happening but she lives a strange life so anything is possible.

Her frame just towering slightly over Felicity as an added incentive to try to make Felicity feel powerless. Laurel just gets this smirk on her face as what she’s about to say will triumph anything, “You’re still that nobody that you introduced yourself to me as. That geeky chick working in a basement of a club. One thing about Ollie and you should know this really well you’ve seen him with all these beauties he has no problem using and discarding is that he also is attracted to strong women. Something you are not.”

“Ouch!” Felicity is so over this conversation. Laurel really does underestimate her opponent. “The thing is Laurel. I don’t know who you bullied in school? I don’t know if you even black mailed your way through law. You reek of obstinacy. Thinking you are above everyone else. You may try act like a queen bee but your nothing but an omega.”

That is all it takes to have Laurel try to smack Felicity. Telling her that her character isn’t all that. Felicity side steps easily already anticipating an attack. Even shooting out to protect herself from an incoming punch. It’s after a “Pow” that Felicity just looks at the woman on the floor holding her face now. She can’t help her babbling words that fall from her lips, "So you think you are field ready huh?" Taking a step back. “Taken down by a technician.”

Felicity looks at how Oliver is bobbing his head to her story. His fingers have been slowly petting her hand as he seems to be in awe.

“I never really meant to hurt her physically just wound her pride. Fighting words became fighting actions and I’m not sorry. I drew the line she’s not bossing me around again.”

“I don’t think she’ll dare to.”

“You probably should do some damage control. She could make our lives more difficult.”

He nods in agreement but for now he just wants to show Felicity how proud he is of her. This woman tried diplomacy and after being pushed around really stood her ground. “If you’ll wait here I have a container of chocolate mint upstairs in the cooler.”

“You do?”

He nods as he gets up to get her the ice cream he bought recently. For some reason he thought she’d need it and he is glad he held on to it till this moment. Before he reaches the first step he turns and tells Felicity, “So you know, you are one of the most-strongest individuals I have ever met and for once Laurel is right I do have a thing for strong women.” He is up the steps before she can form a sentence.

Leaving Felicity to smile even if her hand still aches badly, “Shoot note to self: Hitting stubborn people in the head side effect is like punching a brick wall.”

#fictober19 #olicity #oliver queen #felicity smoak

[alien-at-the-dinner-table]

The Eyebrow

I recently quit my job. For most of you, this sounds like a fairly normal thing. I mean, if you’ve ever had more than one job, there are only two ways to not be doing the first one: quitting or being fired. Of course there is the secret third option of faking your death and traveling to the cayman islands, but a prerequisite in “evil mastermind” is required there. For me, this was one of the hardest things I have ever done. When I gave my two weeks notice I thought I was going to die. I was sweating like a cornered nun, and at one point I forgot to breath and quickly ran out of air. The  truth  behind the unreasonable terror, the reason I nearly blacked out when telling an airpod adorned millennial I was done? I have an anxiety disorder. Shocking I know! Who would have guessed right? Until a few years ago, I certainly didn’t. I always thought that everyone hated their birthdays, dreading every single sleepover or dinner. I thought everyone would cry for months as they went to bed at the prospect of getting a shot. To be specific, I have a generalized anxiety disorder, with a very high probability that I also have obsessive compulsive disorder as well. I only got diagnosed with anxiety this last January, but only out of necessity. For those unaware of what it is like, you probably have some ridiculous caricature of what mental illness looks like. To be fair, I do things that are quite silly or odd, but that is more of a me thing than anything else. When approaching a teacher for a question, you will probably see me leaning back as I walk, looking extremely uncomfortable like a cartoon thief about to be caught.  But mostly the things my anxiety and OCD make me do are quiet. I used to get up in the middle of the night to re-count my pages for my running start classes. I sometimes get an eyebrow twitch. That happened mostly when I developed a crush on a classmate last year. Because God forbid I act cool one time. Upon seeing him enter class I would have to hold it down lest it fly right off my face. It was real bad when he wore a suit to school. My poor, emotionally unstable brain couldn’t handle all that class. I stared at the table and was unable to think of any coherent thought other than “i like bird” for a good 15 minutes. I plan everything out by time, including my job. I have that down to a tee. If you asked me what I would be doing at 8:24 I would be able to tell you. I do garbage at 8:30, so I would be restocking the coolers out front or the back coolers. I save the restocking of  the condiments for after  9:30 because that is after when I clean the bathrooms. I have so much free time because I have every single task assigned a time. I did that on my own, I was given only vague guidelines when training for the job. So I figured everything out on my own. And my old boss loved it, in fact he hired me because of it. In my interview he asked if I was the little girl who would always come in and color code the mentos by the  register. I had been doing that since I was 10.

 My anxiety has gotten worse as I have gotten older, and I eventually had to go on medication. That was in January as I said earlier. In the beginning of December I was quite happy. Then one night after work, I felt a bit nervous. If I didnt fall asleep right then and there I would get only 7 hours and 34 minutes of sleep. If I slept in I would not like how little of the day  I would have left, but if I got up right at the 7 hours 33 minutes (every second I am awake is ticking down!!) I would be very tired, and how productive will I be if i'm so tired??  At 2 in the morning I was still awake. In a slow burn panic attack, I calmly got up, walked to the bathroom, and promptly threw up. Funnily enough, I was super calm, thinking to myself “that was the best darn puke I’ve ever had!”. The next few days were weird, because the nausea never quite left me. I get nauseous when I am having anxiety, but I thought I was sick. So I panicked. I felt worse. I stopped eating as much. I couldnt sleep. I ate what I could because that is what I would do as a kid. I felt worse. I threw up. Repeat. After 3 weeks of this, I had lost 10 pounds and was on the verge of a break down. Then the straw that broke the sleep deprived camel's back came in the terrifying form of a P.E. bag. The start of Christmas break was two days away, and I was running on no sleep, and little to no food. I got unto the bus after a huge physics test. As soon as I sat down I dropped the bag. Cut to 3 seconds later- I cant find my bag  and immediately assume I left it in the class. So in a panic I hop off the bus before it pulls out of the school and look for it. Realizing my mistake when I do not find it, I walk home. Walking in a daze I hoped that my little sister had grabbed it. I got home. I asked if she had grabbed the bag. Replying with an eloquent: “what?” my world dissolved. I then promptly broke down and began to sob big, sad tears while my poor confused father tried to comfort me. I then missed the next day, sick to my stomach, shaking, and once again in tears. That was the day that my 3rd period class won an ice cream party. It was then decided that I should see the doctor. We got in a few days later, and I needed a blood test to make sure that nothing else was at play. If anything else hadn’t proved beyond a doubt that I had anxiety, my reaction to getting my blood drawn did. Shaking like a chihuahua doing the ice bucket challenge, I fought off tears as my mom held my gray hands. Fun fact: that can happen when your body goes into such a state of panic that your blood vessels retract into your body! Fun right? Anyhoo, a few weeks later and I began my medication. 

Obviously I still have issues. I double check all the locks before bed, and I eat the same foods for lunch every week at school. I turn on all the radios in the house when I’m alone because serial killers only attack when it is quiet. The time thing hasnt gone away, and honestly I’m getting a little tired of having a paranoid conspiracy theorist living in my brain. The meds helps a lot, by giving him a fidget spinner to play with so he  talks less. But he loves to make me question things. Like, did I really did put my phone in my pocket 10 seconds ago? I mean, do I specifically remember it? No? Better panic an absurd amount before checking it! My mom even mentions the word ‘dentist’ and he runs around screaming clanging cymbals like a bat out of hell. The really crazy thing is that no one realises when he is doing this. Growing up no knowing what a panic attack was, I know how to ‘hide’ them really well. They still happen, and honestly hiding them feels worse because doing that makes me physically ill. Telling people is weird too. I told a friend that I was going to therapy, and the end result was me fighting off the urge to cover my face with my hands. Not because it was horribly ignorant or shocking, I could feel my eyebrow starting up. She basically asked if I really needed therapy, and suggested investing in a fuzzy blanket. The stereotypes for mental illness make it really hard to know when you have a problem. Because people can’t see it, it makes it harder to explain that no, it really is that difficult. Do I like holding an apple core in my lap for an hour? No. But getting up feels so much scarier than looking weird. Going to therapy or being on medication is not something that ‘crazy’ people do. It’s what people do. Full stop.

#mental health #anxitey #funny

[pingou7]

A car, two cops and a stardust — a RebelCaptain road trip fic

by @pingou7 pingou  for @thestarbirdfromtheashesStarbird

(aka the Road trip fic Diego Luna’s filmography made me write)

Read and enjoy, and please consider leaving me a few words.

Summary:

As the dusty roads criss under Kes Dameron’s old car, Cassian Andor lets the wind mess with his hair through the open window. Dust, sunshine, laughter, its easy to recapture the taste of days long gone.

(…)

At a gas station near Corpus Chirsti, when they climb back after taking a piss, both jump out of their skins as a random brunette, eyes thunderous, hisses dangerously from the backseat:

“Just pretend I’m not here.”

Update: Part 7 is published, give it a chance !

Read more on AO3 (or under the cut)

Part 7 — From Delicias, Chihuahua to Fresnillo, Zacatecas — Day 5.

Cassian, barely up to consciousness, realizes that five days in, they’re nowhere close to Bernal, way behind on their usual schedule. He gets up groggily and searches for the only pair of clean pants he has left in his suitcase, realizing that keeping him respectably clean before Bernal is soon going to cause further delay. Echoing his thoughts, Kes mutters sleepily about how he really needs to find a Laundromat today — apparently his married state left him spoiled in the domestic department.

For a few hazy minutes, neither take Jyn into account until she snorts and Cassian’s world is thrown out of its axis in a blink again. By contrast, she doesn’t seem perturbed by their presence nor bothered by her own lack of fashion choice. She has even cleaned her clothes in the sink with a bit of soap. Kes mocks her for it, but the obvious resourcefulness it shows, as slight as it is, doesn’t go unnoticed by either men.

She sends them a withering glare, but it’s not as if they’d ask her to do their laundry! The sight’s familiar that’s all: Dolores had a really big stone tank like this one, outside of her house. Before that, Mama Dameron and his had liked to use it to clean laundry too, or the boys when they were young enough to do so. His hazy impression of it was deep, and cool, and he remembers splashing around gleefully.

A vision from another time comes unbidden then, his brother in his place, giggling while himself stood guard. He’d wished for Cass to join him... but at six he had felt too old. He’d refused and Marco pouted, sulking. His stomach plummets violently at the recollection and Kes has to snap his fingers in front of him to pull him back to the present.

“Cassian? You look green, you’re not gonna be sick, are you?”

Oh, he’s sick all right, he’s alive, and the sight of a soapy sink is enough to make him lose it. Previous travels to Mexico weren’t as bad, so why is he so vulnerable, all of sudden? His weak emotional state darkens his mood and he does his best to shrug his best friend's concern away.

After all, the reason for his anxiousness rests squarely on Jyn's shoulders, he assures himself. Truth be told, it’s better pondering on her current family issues than his former ones. Kay would say it’s a pathetic attempt at avoiding his own problems, but he’s not here to shake some sense into him and Kes’ pretty indulgent that way.

She doesn't ask what prompted them to stop here, even come morning and as Cassian locks the door behind them a few minutes later, neither men fill her in. It wouldn't be important to her anyway. The vacancy of the house is obvious, yet Cassian puts the key back exactly where he found it, just in case. Someone might have use of that in the year separating them from their next stop? It'd be so nice if people were to finally fill that dormant sad place with laughter and life. All has been gone for a decade, now...

"Cass, c'mon, are you driving or shall I?"

He opts for getting behind the wheel and smacks his brother's hand away from the radio. No more sappy songs, for they have more than seven hours of driving ahead — and at that Jyn groans, declaring them insane:

"It's nonsense. You could have just bought a plane ticket and we would have gotten to your destination faster."

"Right, actually that's the plan for the return home. You're pretty judgmental for someone who imposed herself on us, girl."

"You're not imposing yourself, Jyn," Cassian denies quickly. "It's just the farewell trip of this piece of junk, and Kes wanted to dispose of it where he first got it. We wanted to enjoy the last ride."

"Well, do you?" Jyn asks with a smirk in their direction.

Kes looks at Cassian with a gleam in his eyes but he feigns innocence as he declares her company to be enjoyable in his most neutral voice. For a second here he thinks Dameron will strangle himself with laughter but he keeps his trap shut. Instead, it's Jyn who speaks again.

“For the record guys, I'm relieved to have ended up with you, despite the long driving and corny music, hitchhiking sucks.”

“You’re kidding me, right?”

“Nope, I didn’t expect to tag along, at first, you know? Besides I can be traced back to some extent. People talk. I can be found.”

“Right, because traveling with cops on vacation makes so much sense when you're fleeing...”

“Less work for you in case it turns bad, but meanwhile I stay relatively safe, that’s a win-win in my book.”

"Why would things turn bad, Jyn?"

“Why wouldn't they," she bites back instantly, "everything has always soured where my father's concerned. I'm just enjoying the reprieve I get."

Her resignation ignites Cassian's fury, because she can't be so fatalistic yet, without giving herself a chance. She can’t surrender without trying to turn the odds in her favor, without a fight.

"Everyone doesn't have the luxury of having such a determined mindset. Generally I prefer to be left alone, Cassian."

"If you're so convinced your situation will explode, why bother at all then? Just hide yourself away until you're an old frightened woman."

"I've got moderate chance to reach that point if I don't hide, so keep your condescension to yourself!"

"Everyone lost something, is struggling day by day. Some just decided to do something about it."

"Hey, don't have a spat in my car," Kes intervenes in his Dad voice, rubbing his temples, "besides, Stardust, you're not alone, you've got us in your corner."

Her look is still dubious and okay, maybe Cassian handled this the wrong way, but she cannot be passive and defiant all at once. One way or another, she will have to take a stand and he doesn't mind pushing her until she does. Power above made them cross paths for a reason, and he'll be damned before he lets her go away unchanged.

She has already changed him, but how he cannot define yet.

The remaining four hours of travel pass without the sound of her voice. The Charolastras don’t feel obliged to fill the silence however so Cassian tries to shut his mind off the memories progressively leaking in his head, as the scenery passes around them. Nothing to distract him, not even their silent fugitive or Kes absently humming an ABBA song of all things...

“You’re dreadful, you know that cabrón? With the amount of stupid songs you got memorized, it’s a wonder you can function at all.”

“You like ABBA rudo.”

“Yeah right, sorry to disappoint but it’s getting on my nerves. The only time i enjoy their repertoire is when I’m drunk and you know it.”

He prays Kes won’t disclose the drunken rendition he made of Super Trooper with Alexsandr Kallus and Ahsoka Tano but he keeps his vows and stays mercifully quiet. Jyn isn’t likely bound to ensure his wellbeing however and starts to belt out “Waterloo” pretty loudly and off-key just to mess with him. Kes sniggers and joins in, like the false brother he is. Sab’s house in Fresnillo suddenly seems absurdly further away but he can’t bring himself to stay mad. When Jyn sends him an impish look in the mirror as Kes switches to “Take a chance on me” he lets a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

By the time they reach Sandro Saba’s house, the air within the car is almost cracking with restlessness. Jyn has switched places twice and stares at their smartphones with a mixture of longing and apprehension. They have already told her she could call anybody she wanted but she refused.

They park and amazingly their friend is on the porch, ready to greet them as warmly as ever. His bloodshot eyes and vacant smile, not to mention the smell that comes heavily from his clothes are obvious clues but only Jyn feels the need to point it out:

"Is he...?"

"Yep, stoned."

"And you're okay with that?"

"One, we're not working for the DEA, two we're on vacation, and three his usual recreational use does no harm to anyone. In fact, you're welcome to have some, I'm sure Saba wouldn't mind sharing. You seem a bit stressed out," Kes leers, inexplicably amused by the glare she bestows upon him.

"I'd rather stay an uptight bitch, thanks Dameron," she snaps, making Cassian snort into his beer and his brother guffaw for the whole neighborhood to hear.

"Jyn," Cassian adds more soberly, "you can relax a bit without the magic herbs, make your call and if you worry about Sab, you don’t need to fear him flapping his jaw to anyone. He has the attention span of a goldfish. I swear Poe’s more of a risk. He won’t remember you tomorrow."

“If you say so.”

“I’m sure of it. We had a pretty wild teens.”

“For cops, maybe," Jyn retorts wryly, smirking, “but I can say without a doubt that it was tame next to mine.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t bet on it,” Kes replies with the ghost of the little punks they were audible in his voice.

Cassian wouldn’t bet either, as the bygone tastes of weed and cheap tequila invade his memory. The aftermath of Soccer matches and bar brawls tingles under his skin, too. If he squints, he could call back visions of tables with too many boisterous guests for the food prepared that day. It was a hard yet a simpler life than the solitary one he leads now.

“Do you want to go out? It’s Friday, so... I wouldn’t mind unwinding after spending hours and hours in the car.”

“I know a guy...” Sandro starts slowly, because some people never change, and somehow after mandatory calls, the three tourists end up at a party nearby.

“Want to dance,” Cassian asks Jyn a good while later, because the beat of the song currently playing calls to him.

“I’d rather not, I don’t really know how to dance Cassian. Not sober that is.”

Kes snorts at her honesty, rising his own glass in a mock salute, yet he assures: “Don’t worry, rudo here dances well enough for the two of you.”

“Indulge me,” Cassian drawls, as low and deep as he can.

He revels inwardly in Jyn’s catch of breath. Kes clearly seems to enjoy the sight as well, for he discreetly gives him a thumb up behind her. He feels like the man for a second, and the corners of Cassian’s mouth quirk into a wicked grin. He wants to give her a nudge already, but she remains self-conscious, scanning the crowd of strangers. Maybe he should retract his offer, considering how uncomfortable she is, but he really wants to dance with her.

After a few seconds of pondering, she lets him lead her to the dance floor awkwardly, but his grip is reassuring enough for her to sway to the music. She’s tense at first but he’d seen her move swiftly before and he knows she can be graceful. He gets closer still, his hand finding a proper grip on her hip — perhaps a bit lower than strictly necessary — but as he sends her a reassuring smile she relaxes in his grasp. This is no different than the intimacy they have come to share during the nights, and whether it’s the liquid courage, the music or his proximity, Jyn lets herself be led completely.

She doesn’t know the steps, but she mirrors him at the best of her ability. She’s light on her feet too, so pretty soon both enjoy themselves and she ends up giggling as he makes her spin and fall back into his arms. When the third song ends, she pleads for a break, all pink cheeks and short of breath.

“Come on Captain, you owe me a drink.”

However, when they reach the table, Kes is nowhere to be seen and he even had the decency to pay the tab. Scribbled on the receipt is a rowdy advice in Spanish and the long forgotten emblem of the Charolastras they had invented as kids.

Sometimes, cursí could really be the nicest bloke.

#RebelCaptain #fanfiction #cassian andor #jyn erso #kes dameron #modern au #roadtrip #pingou writes

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Choose me pt.2 (G.D.)

Summary: Two months have passed and things have certainly changed.

Warnings: angst, swearing

Word count: 1895

Choose Me - Masterlist

I barely spent any time with Grayson nowadays as he was always out with HER. It's been almost two months since their first date and they were official. It made my skin crawl, but there was nothing I could do. I was a friend, she was more to him. I wasn't okay with that, but I kept my mouth shut.

I never even met her, which isn't unusual with all the parties she and Grayson kept going to. I just missed him. I missed the guy who'd come by if he noticed even a slight change in the tone of my voice. He'd bring so much junk food and we'd watch cheesy movies all night, laughing away anything that might have influenced my mood.

To say that I've been struggling for the past two months would be an understatement. Ethan understood me, but I pushed him away. I didn't need someone to pity me, I needed Grayson to open his eyes and stop hurting me. I needed him to stop canceling our plans for dates with a girl who was obsessed, controlling and always pressured him. I saw less of him as each week went by, his smile wasn't even real anymore. What was he doing with her anyways?

From: Gray

Wanna hang out?

To: Gray

On my way.

I was happy he wanted to spend time with me, but I hated how easily I buckled. I wanted time away, to lick my wounds, let myself heal. I was still in ruins from that day and it was a lot harder building myself up without a best friend to lean on.

„I'm not in love with him. Nope. No way.“ I shook my head in denial, my bottom lip quivering.

„Yeah, you are. You weren't smitten off the bat, but you fell for him. That's why it hurts.“ Ethan reasoned with me and I pulled my knees closer to my chest.

„How did this happen?“ I whispered.

„You two spent a lot of time together..shared intimate things. It all screams 'love story about to happen'.“ Ethan pulled me into a side hug, resting his head on mine.

„You can't tell him!“ I pleaded, panicking about the possibility of Grayson finding out and rejecting me. I couldn't lose him.

„It's not my secret to tell. You should.“ He said and my eyes widened.

„You're crazy. This isn't some teenage movie where one falls in love with her best friend and fights for his attention with a blonde, popular chick and wins. It's real life. She's a model. I lose. That's how things work.“ I muttered bitterly.

„I think if you were to fight for him, there would be no contest.“

Ethan's words have kept me awake for many nights, overthinking, planning, but I wasn't brave enough to do this. Especially after their date turned into a relationship. I got to their house and took my keys out to enter, but it felt a little odd to use the keys after I've been away for so long. Those keys insinuated a bond greater than we had at the moment, so I opted for a knock on the door.

Soon enough, the door swung open and I was met with the guy I couldn't stop thinking about. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, his left hand rubbing the back of his neck, a pensive smile on his lips.

„Why'd you knock? You have a key.“ He stated and I almost choked on my saliva.

„I forgot them?“ I said, but it sounded more like a question than a statement and he saw that. Thankfully, he didn't ask more questions and we went inside.

„How have you been?“ Grayson asked and I shrugged.

„Good. You?“ Why was this so awkward? We're best friends, not strangers exchanging pleasantries!

„Good. Uh, I hope you don't mind, but Amber showed up. You two could finally meet!“ He suddenly exclaimed and I screamed internally.

„Great!“ I faked excitement and plastered a, hopefully believable, smile on my face. I did not want to meet her! I did not want to be around them! It was hard enough with him even mentioning her, let alone being in the same room with them.

I followed him to their backyard and there she was, in a bikini, on a towel, in all her glory. She was stunning, that much was true. Her bleach blonde hair was long and wavy, practically glowing in the sunlight. She had zero back fat, her ass was to die for and her legs went on for miles. It was all I could see as she laid on her stomach soaking up the sun, which she seemed to do a lot as her tan was on point, as well.

„Amber, babe, I want you to meet someone!“ Grayson called out for her and she groaned a little before getting up. I saw that she was annoyed, but once her eyes focused on me, she smiled like I was her favorite candy and all but ran to us. Her eyes were emerald green, freckles decorating her face, with dimples that made her look younger than she was. She was taller than me, towering over just like Grayson.

She pecked his lips twice, making sure to make the second one a little longer than it needed to be. I didn't want them to notice I was bothered by it, but I had to look away before I screamed.

„Babe, this is Y/N, my best friend.“ Grayson introduced me and I gave her a small wave, not wanting to touch her.

„Oh, so that's the girl you're always going on and on about?“ She teased, but I noticed her voice wasn't quite chipper, more like poison laced with sugar. That was the first flaw I noticed on her, her pitchy voice. I was glad there was something about her that lacked perfection as I knew Grayson wasn't fond of pitchy, screaming girls. I wondered how that worked out for him in the bedroom.

„Is that so?“ I teased him, keeping my eyes on the girl.

„Oh, yeah. He's always talking about how Y/N does this, how Y/N does that. It's just adorable.“

I saw through her fake sweetness, she was clearly jealous. I wonder why, because he dropped me the moment she came into the picture.

„That's funny, because I didn't realize he knew I existed.“ I remarked and noticed the way she put her arm around him, her hand landing on his ass. It made me sick to my stomach and I wanted nothing more than to get away from them.

„What do you mean?“ Grayson stepped in and looked at me in confusion. Boy, was he clueless.

„It's a joke, Grayson. Where's your sense of humor?“ I said, sarcasm evident in my voice to anyone who listened carefully.

„Honey, can you get us some lemonade? Pleaseeee?“ She whined and I had to resist an urge to cover my ears. Damn, she was annoying! Grayson broke eye contact and nodded, promptly leaving the two of us alone.

„Listen here, Y/N. Grayson is my man, got that? So keep your grabby hands off him or I'll make you pay!“ She threatened, her face morphing into a little monster I never knew a girl like her could be.

„Seriously? What is this, a chick flick? I'm not after Grayson.“ I said looking at my nails, ignoring the steaming pile of girlishness before me.

„I may be bleach blonde, but I ain't dumb. I see the way you look at him. More importantly, I'm tired of hearing your name. This isn't going to work out in your favor. Beautiful people like G. and I herd together, it's only natural. You aren't on the same level as us. Forget about him, or I’ll make it happen myself.“ She spat those insults in my face hoping I'd break, but I refused to give her the satisfaction. How did Grayson end up with someone like this? A guy who had a heart of gold with a snake underneath her beautiful glow?

„The correct term would be I'm not dumb...as for the whole string of insults, I'm not an insecure little girl who would break at any little thing a mean girl says to me. I'm not scared of you, but I am tired of hearing your squeaky little voice. It's actually a lot like a toy for little kids and dogs, you know, just squeeze any of them and you'll hear how you sound.“ I remark, unaware of the audience we had.

„Oh, honey, did you hear how she spoke to me?! I can't believe this is the same amazing Y/N you spoke of.“ She wailed like a little bitch and I almost jumped at her.

„Why did you just insult her?“ Grayson asked, almost like he was out of breath. He glared at me, his jaw clenched and muscles tensed up.

„You didn't hear the whole story.“ I tell him, but he narrows his eyes at me and I knew right then and there that I lost this fight, him along with it.

„But, you won't hear that. You wouldn't believe me anyways..“ I shake my head, biting my lower lip, pulling it into my mouth. I rummage through my bag and find the keys to the house, slamming them on the table next to me.

„It was good while it lasted. Goodbye, Grayson.“ I tell him as I watch Amber smirk subtly.

I turn around and walk out the back door, refusing to pass next to them. My entire body was shaking, each step I took pulling me closer to the edge of breaking. In a moment, just one moment, I lost him forever...

„Hey, wait!“ Ethan grabbed my arm, pulling me into his chest, but I pushed him away, hard.

„Don't! Okay? Just, don't!“ I yelled out, holding back tears that were due any second now.

„What? So, this is it? You’re just going to leave? No fight, nothing?“ He questioned, angry with my resignation.

„He chose her! He believed what she said without listening to me! I saw it in his eyes! It's clear where his heart is! I've been denying it for months..he barely spends any time with me anymore! He doesn't answer texts or calls and when I got one from him today, I just..I thought maybe we could get back to being friends again. I thought...Look, it doesn't matter anymore. He doesn't feel the same way, not even as a friend. I can't keep breaking my own heart. I need to leave to save my own sanity. I'll be here if you need me, just give me some time first, okay?“ I ask and Ethan shakes his head, his hands on his hips.

„You're giving up on everything, because you're scared to take a risk. It's your choice, not his. He doesn't even know he has options, Y/N! If he did, he might not be so keen on staying with that long-legged chihuahua.“ Ethan says and I couldn't hold back a giggle as tears streamed down my face.

„You hear it, too?“ I said between giggles and he laughed too.

„She's not you. She never will be.“ Ethan pulls me in for a hug and I let him give me some comfort before pulling away.

„Thank you.“ I kiss his cheek and walk away.

#grayson dolan #grayson dolan fanfic #grayson dolan angst #grayson dolan x reader #grayson dolan imagine #ethan dolan #grayson and ethan #dolan twins #dolan twins fanfic

[katzenflocken]

LA Times

I went to a Halloween party in October and I wrote down my experience in my phone.

A month or so ago I had made the decision that I wanted to attend a Halloween event and ultimately I decided on scream in Edmonton. I had bought the pre-sale ticket without actually knowing who was playing since there was no lineup details but this didn't concern me because I just wanted to go have fun and listen to some jams with cool people. I had calculated the cost of bus and hotel and came up to roughly 700 for a comfortable trip with all the best food/mixed drinks at the show. I had already had my own party favors so this was one of the reasons why I wanted to keep it local in Alberta. But then the lineup got released and I only seen one artist that was potentially going to be "okay" after listening to their SoundCloud. I was feeling very on the fence and on top of that, the party only went until 2am which was making it real hard to justify a long boring ass bus ride for a short night of mostly lame edm music. (No offense to the edm enthusiasts out there)

After some Olympic tier mental gymnastics of being so sure I wanted to go to Scream, I got curious and went to the handy dandy Resident Advisor and looked at shows in Alberta then Vancouver, even Toronto. I didn't see any events I was interested in and I left it at that. Then I got the brilliant and brave idea to possibly venture outside our borders, and a few clicks later I stumbled upon louisahhh's upcoming events and noticed she was playing a show along with boys noize and tbh, it was a no brainer. I had to make this happen. After a few calculations, it was literally going to cost the same as going to Edmonton (600 cdn) but with more spending money required in American. So naturally it was 💯 percent the logical choice. The event was called Minimal Effort which was an all techno show with 4 stages. Like holy shit! This event was most definitely calling my name.

I had told family and a few friends and some them ask me why? I've already vacationed once or twice this year so why a third time? I really don't know why, there is no reason. I just like doing these things. It is true that given the current situation, I better to avoid these such things. but the idea of letting someone's words prevent me from doing something so fun and exciting yet so doable drives me mad. In fact this very idea is what makes it so evident that I am in control of my life. I create the reality I live in and why should I let others shape it for me with manipulating opinions. I would argue I am not living to die, I am dying to live. Personally I don't think it's very odd or strange to do exactly what you put your mind to, so it is in such a context that I wanted to make this trip. I hope people see what I do and feel encouraged or empowered. If I can do it you can too. But everyone isnt me and is open to their own opinion.

So my passport is lightly damaged, a few months after I got it I washed it lol whoops. I've been using it since without incident and it expires pretty quick in early 2019 so I felt confident I will make it on the plane and I did! I flew air Canada btw and their service was very meh. There was also some meean turbulence, other than that it was boring. Planes suck ass and I can't sleep on them. I had bought a roaming plan so I can text and use Google maps like a real Traveller. This was the best decision of the whole trip actually, so get ur phones working guys!

Upon landing I was very nervous because I literally didn't want to pay a lot of money to get downtown where my hostel was. But I asked this Tony hawk looking guy he gave me the rundown and to take the skyaway bus which was like 9 dollars. Hella life saver! I got downtown and got Subway spicy chicken wrap at Union station. Now I taxi'd to my hostel... It was near or in the ghetto. When the man dropped me off it was dark and these yuuuge dogs were jumping at me from the other side of the fence, confirming my suspicion that this is in fact the ghetto. I find the property next door and these dudes are smoking outside, I got their attention and they said to go upstairs and talk to "Champaign". In my head I instantly thought a black drug dealer... But then I was greeted by a slim easy going japanese dude with a samurai ponytail who spoke poor English but still had a friendly vibe. Turns out he is the cook/caretaker. I came on the night they had a dinner party that they hold once a month. Pay 10 dollars and you can eat the food that he was cooking. Champaign cooked for a army and I felt like an asshole because I literally came with a belly full of Subway. I had a few snacks and met the other Traveller's/Tennant's that were residing here. In that exact moment I felt like this is exactly where I needed to be. I was not alone and I was amongst other human beings like myself and we were all brought together by an unknown force all so Champaign can go to bed we knowing no one went to bed hungry. I actually passed out after midnight. Kinda lame but tbh I was wiped out from that hectic almost frantic trip to this hostel. The toppest compliment I give to any hotel/hostel is that this place had the best mattress, apparently they were italian (I asked lol).

Saturday (party day). My goal in the afternoon was to adventure and have a decent meal but it was getting off to a slow start due to me not figuring out where I wanted to go. I was recommended business district and looked up reviews but it was all meh. I want that yummy and probably unhealthy local food locations. The guy also said to take an Uber. Which I was like uhhhhhh iduno man... Maybe. Then as I was just getting ready to leave, this korean guy named Sam asked where I was going and he said "you should check out Korea Town, it's dope!!" And I looked up places and he said "no go here!" And I was like okay. Then he said he'll come with me and show me around after he finishes the laundry. Like a good lad I waited and in between he looked at me and whispered "hey do you do... Stuff" and there are a lot of implications there lol so I had to ask like what? And he pulled a little baggie and my reply was "yeah I like stuff" then did it and the kid lit up like a Christmas tree. He was mad hype folding the towels and then him and Champaign blazed downstairs.

One of the most fascinating yet mundane happenings was that I installed Uber on my phone. While those guys were blasting off I went ahead and gave the Uber a good historic first whirl. Little did I know my life was about to change in that exact moment. In 2 minutes after selecting where I wanted to go the driver was there. Holy shit! The cool part was that I only paid 8 dollars to go to the opposite side of the downtown. I wish I can expand on what I did, but tbh all we did was just walk and talk. It was great because it made me feel more immersed in to the city. Kind of like you had to be there type of experience. Then it was food time, he pointed out a Korean joint and I got a meal and he didn't order anything and then like 10 sides came and then 6 more little plates for the main dish. I told Sam he can have some because this is absurd. As we were eating, I slowly gazed around the place and everyone was just a little bit chubby. Sam told me Koreans don't waste their shit and eat as much as possible... Plus it's America lol. After eating like an animal and totally ruining my white shirt we went to get smokes and the line at 711 was almost way too long. Sam pointed out that everyone was powerballin' it... Then upon paying for the smokes and soda I said "one Powerball please". I had caved in and joined the race. We took an Uber back and the driver was a Mexican mom. She was cute in a grandma kind of way and we talked about there should be a "good news" radio because it's so scary listening to the radio. We laughed and laughed some more while Sam had fell into a Korean BBQ coma.

We get back to the hostel, Sam goes back to work and I have about an hour to get ready/nap before the party. Sam asked if I needed party favors and I took him up on his offer, because I hate asking at parties because it's so sketchy. At this point of the trip I realized everything is going 110% right. Sometimes I feel like I am just lucky because I always find myself in surprising situations and that now it's almost normal to me. My body and mind was totes ready to party, then I almost forget... I have stickers!!! I always have some in my bag and I grabbed at least 50 of them. People always love that shit, plus it makes everything more fun by adding another layer to the party... Lol get it? Layer?!? Aaanyways the one girl showed me how to work the door lock, basically it's an app that registers my phone to the deadbolt... What a game changer! Technology huh?! What a cool place! Then the Uber came and took like 4 dollars to get there, I think I can get used to this LA lifestyle if I ever had the chance. The dude dropped me off and I was proper nervous, made sure to hide my shit good and have my ID, ticket and game face ready because there was like 8 security in front... Also I am a pretty nervous person in general, I may seem cool and collected on the outside but on the inside I am a scared little shaking Chihuahua barking internally.

So I finally made it! All my hard work payed off! The weird thing was the guy didn't even look at my ticket, just my ID. Any Yahoo off the street could have walked in. Butt fuck it, I am here and that's all that matters. Imediately I get a beer... 8 dollars. The shit I put up with tbh, the price I pay for fun is worth it but my goodness is it painful. I wander around the theatre and it is nicely large and open. Not hot!! Can you believe that? The other stages weren't bad, too much to take it all in tbh. I settled at the main stage which was the first one you sent me when you walk in. The first artist playing was a chick, she played some good jam actually so I quite enjoyed her set. The only thing that led me to believe she doesn't actually make music and only is a DJ, was that every track she played I knew. Which is expected from shows like this but she didn't play anything "original", it's not a bad thing but if I was to critique her I'd be disappointed because I am the type of person to be wowed and I like to seek new material. I went for a smoke and met this couple dressed and Vegeta and Bulma, hella rad. They were cool, totally forget their names tho. Met this Mexican dude too who was a little short had crazy contact lenses and had a friendly chat. he was rolling which was cool because I wish I was, I even asked him but he was fresh out. The party started picking up too and louisahhh's set was about to play and I am 3 beers deep so I gotta step up my game. And guess what!? It's Modelo time homie!! Met a dude in a headdress and took a pic with him to piss off other people who are against that bullshit, as long as they are respectful about it I think it's awesome... so @ those who are trying to be offended on purpose, fuck you. Went to the bathroom and dropped my Modelo and the worker watched me do it and didn't say anything and swept it up. I went back to get another normal beer because the Modelo was 9 dollars. They mind as well get the lube ready because they are already fucking me dry. I had run out of party favors at this point because I only had a little but that's not why I am here so I accept that fact and I am just glad to be here. The dancefloor was sticky but as more spills happened it was less annoying and more people came, it made it more bearable lol if that makes sense. The sound was definitely worse at the front of the stage so I found that sweet spot 15 feet back in the zone where the speakers were pointed. 7/10 audio, it's no pk system but hey I don't mind too much! Louisahhh was stepping in and she had a super neat outfit going kind of future/madmax like. Her hair was excellent if I might add. I've always wanted to catch her set but never had the chance until now. I could say it was what I expected, which was basically the same set I've heard her play on other sets I heard from her. It's not a negative but mental gymnastics aside she could have spiced it up some more by playing new shit, like I said. I am just glad to be there.

After louisahhh played her set Boys Noize had stepped in and he opened up with that one song he always does lately lol I forget the name but let me tell you, my body was ready! The "wares" I had bought off Sam at the hostel were already used up but I didn't need any, my body was tingling from the energy in the room. I met the maddest group of lads in the crowd and I gave them a handful of stickers to help me distribute. They loved it! I was also doing "rogue" work by slapping stickers on people without them knowing. The funniest ones were the Dealer and Wasted stickers. The lazers and lights in this place were magnificent. Production was nearly top notch 7.8/10. it's a theatre but they used it as well as they could. I want to describe this experience more but going to a party is the purest chaos you can experience. It almost can't be explained, only witnessed. I honestly love being social at these events. In real life I can be very shy or unwilling to exchange or talk with others. It pains me really, I just love people and I want to make genuine friends but I feel so reluctant to meet new faces because I don't really click that well with others. I know that I am unique and sometimes strange, I am sometimes don't give a fuck but I tend to be antisocial because of paranoia that other people won't like me when they get to know the real me. When I attend rave parties, I tend to feel more free and open because I know the people in attendance are also there for the same reason I am. Obviously this may or may not be a healthy life style but it is very fulfilling in a very emotional way. I may not have that many real life friends but when on the dancefloor everyone is my friends lol that sounds like the gayest shit ever but it's true. Anyways party is still bumping and it's 6 am and I am wiped out, boys Noize played some of the best tracks I heard at awakenings I noticed. Kind of the same shit really. But it was LA so more mainstream crowd. I leave the club and it was so fucking foggy outside, like a horror movie. 2spooky4me. I hit up Uber like 4 blocks away because it was just too crazy in the front of the theatre. I got this younger driver about my age and we talked about McDonald's lol she was fun then I get back to the hostel hungry as fuck. Eated bread and smonked some herb and hit the hay.

Next morning I hung out in the common area. Watched friends and watched Champagne die from smoking weed lol he was my favorite. Cool hostel tbh very home like. I had few hours to myself before my flight so I decided I wanted to go to little Tokyo. I had to say goodbye to the hostel, the guys downstairs gave me a donut lol and I got into the Uber. The guy talked about the dodgers game like I actually give a heck about sports. He dropped me off at the entrance of Little Tokyo. This was actually the most wholesome part of my trip. The first sight of the Japanese style outside mall was kind of exhilarating because LA is mostly just the same everywhere. The buildings and decorations were very refreshing and it was a feast for the eyes. Such beauty. As I continue to explore the small but busy space I feel this feeling of wonder and excitement, it made me feel less hungover if I am being honest. The world I was seeing in that moment was powerfully moving and rich with happiness. I wanted to stay forever. In the centre there was an open space where an older Asian man in a scooter and an array of instrument s in front of him. He had a little sampler Casio and hi hats and maracas. It was like a scene out of the movies where you see those cute moments because he was playing to this couple from China that were standing in front of him and you can hear them talking to the Man in between singing lol, they gave him money to play that song from toy story "skies of blue" or whatever it's called and then at the end he pulled out the maracas and hit them on the cymbals with style. I filmed a little bit of it actually. I ended up eating sushi and chicken katsu outside on the deck and just enjoyed the experience. Alone. Fucking sad actually that I couldn't share my emotion with someone else but I really enjoyed the place. I shop in the anime store and gift shop, got a few things for friends and family then had to rush to the airport. I got to Union station and shuttle to the airport right on time. Slightly early since the flight changed to a later time. I walked around and had some beer and wings then got on the plane. Nice cozy airport experience. My dad picked me up and he was working in siksika that week so I slept in his trailer. It was cold as shit and I was late for work the next day like nothing ever happened lol. Just a quick weekend trip, no big deal. Travelling is so so so much fun, I want others to read or see my adventures and feel somewhat inspired to take more risks and go on their own adventures. Its good to open your eyes and free yourself of your surroundings, especially on the reserve. There's a world out there and there's more to life than the bullshit drama that happens here. I look at the world in wonder and amazement, I know it's a sick and sometimes dangerous place but I make it my world by appreciating it for what it is. Everything is kind of all right. Sometimes I wish I didn't exist but I don't want to die either, doing these things remind me that life can be great so I hope I don't come off braggy or I am acting "too good". I make minimum wage yet I still do all this cool stuff. It's not hard to do, just literally set your mind go and do it . I chase my dreams while others think "what if" lol but yeah do more fun shit guys!!!!

#travel #los angeles #america #little tokyo #boys noize #louisah #airport #journal #adventures #rave #party #friends #strangers #bread

[timeisacephalopod]

Optioned

Um, random Peter/ Bucky AU in which they both work a shitty job at a movie theater. I don’t know what this is but its definitely crack lmao. I just wanted to write the pairing tbh.

Ok so Peter had aspirations- once upon a time that was a thing but now all his dreams are dead and he stuffs bags full of pop corn for a living. Its not exactly that he hates his job at the local movie theater, its just that he’d rather kill himself than speak to an actual live human being at a till. People are assholes for one, and also he’s discovered that the ‘ice vs no ice’ controversy is real and people are passionate about it. His preference? He doesn’t have one because he can’t be assed to care about trivial shit like that.

The only good thing to come out of his shitty job making surprisingly good popcorn is that he met Bucky. Sure he’s like ninety percent sure Bucky never actually does any work mostly because he’s way too fucking anxious to handle being on till but he’s funny and that’s all Peter cares about. Plus he’s awesome enough that no one else seems to notice that he doesn’t do much. Either that or everyone likes him too much to care.

“I hate closing shifts,” Kamala mumbles and Peter snorts.

“That makes two of us but fuck getting up in the morning,” he says, shaking his head. Morning shifts are slow as shit too so not only would he be up early but he’d have nothing to do. Fuck morning shifts. Actually no, fuck working in general, he misses stealing shit to get by but Bucky thinks its immoral to steal or whatever. Personally Peter likes to think of himself as Robin Hood except he’s only taking money for himself- if the public wants more of it they can steal their own shit.

“I already have school so you know, I’m used to it,” Kamala says.

Peter wrinkles his nose, “I’d say drop out but then I’d be a bad influence.”

Kamala laughs, “I’m pretty sure my parents would skin you if you told me to drop out and I listened.”

“Has anyone done the butter yet?” Bucky asks and Peter turns.

“No, not that I- why are you in the vat of pop corn?” he asks, frowning at Bucky sitting in the pop corn machine. Its not even empty either, he’s sitting in a giant ass vat of popcorn with food surrounding him.

“Monkey brain,” he says like that’s some kind of explanation.

Peter sighs. “When I was nine my mother died, I got kidnapped shortly thereafter, became a fucking conspiracy theory-” which he hadn’t even known about until he met Bucky. The guy reads way too many conspiracies. “-Ended up leading a life of crime so I could accumulate enough money to go to film school and also assimilate into the group of criminals I was kidnapped by. Went to film school with big dreams of being a director and writer that got sucked out by this shit place, and all for it to end with my boyfriend in a vat of popcorn explained away by ‘monkey brain’. I can’t even write that shit.” But then most of Bucky’s life is such a level of bizarre that he couldn’t write it. If he did he’d deem it unrealistic because Bucky attracts weird like nobody’s business. “Kamala, can you do the butter?” he asks her.

She sighs grumpily but agrees until Bucky interrupts, “I asked because I was gunna do it,” he says.

“You can clean out the popcorn vat,” Peter tells him and Bucky sulks, eating some of the popcorn that surrounds him. Kalama laughs as she pulls the butter from its warmer. Knowing how long those things sit there makes Peter feel almost bad for feeding it to people. But then he remembers half the customers shriek at him if he puts ice in their drinks and feels less bad.

“Can I go home? I hate it here,” Bucky says and Peter snorts.

“If I have to suffer so do you. Kamala, you go home, you have school tomorrow,” he says.

Kamala frowns, “I mean I’m leaving but we don’t have school on Saturdays, Peter.”

Bucky lets out a long whine, “how come she gets to go home? I’m the one dating you, give me special treatment.”

“Yeah, I also happen to know you pay half the rent and need the hours, Kamala’s only here to save money for college so she’s not missing out on much,” he says. “Now clean the vat.” Bucky sighs and mumbles something about Peter sucking the fun out of everything but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t like rent either but Bucky’s the one who insists they work shitty jobs for a living instead of just selling meth or robbing homes in rich areas.

“You’re the best,” Kamala tells him before she takes off. Man Peter wishes he could follow and leave this stupid job behind. Why couldn’t he have dated someone with no moral compass so he could avoid this hellhole?

“Do I still have to clean the vat?” Bucky asks and Peter nods.

“I’m not cleaning that shit,” he says.

“I thought you wanted weird experiences for your writing or whatever,” Bucky says and Peter frowns.

“I hope you know finding my boyfriend in a vat of popcorn is far weirder than cleaning it out,” he says. “Also I don’t feel like cleaning it out when I have to count literally everything in this damn place. Save me some of that popcorn,” he adds, earning a look from Clint like he has the right to issue out looks given his eating habits. Peter watched him eat an Oreo off the lobby floor once.

“His ass as been in there,” he says.

“Clint, I’ve ate is ass, why do you think that matters to me?” he asks, earning a gag from America across the room. “Oh hush, I’m sure you and Kate get up to worse,” he says to her. She gives him a doubtful look but he damn well knows Kate is probably into weird shit, she hangs out with Clint.

“Please don’t tell our coworkers about our sex life, I have to look them in the eye,” Bucky says, climbing out of the popcorn.

“Does he actually do anything around here or does he mostly just talk to you?” Clint asks.

Peter shrugs, “probably the latter but I mean are you complaining? Could you imagine this guy at a till? Dude is a human chihuahua.” He shakes at everything and sometimes has a lot of anger in unexpected places though Peter has to admit if he were Jewish and spotted a Nazi near him he’d punch the Nazi too. Except Bucky acted totally on instinct and went Full Human Chihuahua right after so it was a weird situation to be in and if Peter ever writes a comedy that is so going in it.

Clint snorts, “one time when he was on floor I watched this guy try to walk up to him and he basically ran away and left Loki to deal with it. I’m sure it went horribly wrong.”

“Actually I think Loki solved his problem and that reaffirms that I’m not fit to deal with people,” Bucky says, dumping popcorn into the trash.

“How do you date him?” Clint asks and Peter shrugs.

“Dude is so weird he inspires a crap ton of stories that no one will ever option,” he says and Bucky snorts.

“I’m sure it’ll happen eventually,” he says and yeah, maybe, but Peter is bored of writing for no audience. And also of serving ungrateful dipshits who scream about ice. Once he found a cockroach in the ice and he hopes some jackass customer has eaten one.

“Well when you hit it big remember that time I took your shift,” Clint tells him.

Peter squints, “you’ve never taken anyone’s shift ever. I know this because I help make the schedule.” Its a horrible job and he hates it.

“What I’m saying is that I want your money,” Clint tells him bluntly.

“Uh, I get his money first, you get it later,” Bucky says. “Also you want to scoop the rest of this popcorn?”

*

Peter considers the last year and a half of his life. “Do you ever think about the fact that Tony Stark basically paid you five million dollars to make him a drink?” Bucky asks.

“All the time because literally what the fuck.” He’d been closing, as usual, and then out of nowhere actual Tony fucking Stark walks up and practically begs for a drink. Peter had made a joke that he’d make it if Tony gave him the money to make a movie and the guy must have been some desperate for coke because he agreed. Peter is ninety percent sure the only reason people even went to see it is because Tony was the one who funded it but what the fuck ever man, he’s got a whole new project in the works and his last movie went over surprisingly well.

“I can’t believe real people are funding your space opera about your daddy issues,” Bucky says, shaking his head.

Peter snorts, “you get all the benefits so shush.”

Bucky grins, “well yeah, but a space opera about your daddy issues? That’s also a musical? That’s got to be a niche market.”

Not if Tony Stark is funding it but Peter has long known the guy was genius at marketing. Dude makes a shit ton of money, as evidenced by his paying a stupid amount of dollars over a joke Peter made. But like hell he was backing down from that. “It’ll sell. I mean people loved my weird sci-fi comedy that had a really odd sense of Millennial humor with an absurd amount of conspiracy theories in it,” he points out.

“Yeah, you’re officially in the Illuminati now. Tony invited you and now you’re trying to control the masses,” Bucky says, dead ass serious because he’s probably read whole Reddit threads on it or something. 

He considers that for a moment before looking back to Bucky. “First, please stop reading weird conspiracies about me. Two, do you have any idea how tempted I am to steal all of Tony’s shit always? You should be lucky I love you because he has some nice stuff and I could probably sell it for a lot of money.” He stared at that stupid expensive Rolex for so long Tony probably got suspicious at some point but Peter let him fuck around on set so he didn’t seem to care too much. Turns out Pepper Potts is terrifying though and for a hot second she took everything over to shoo Tony out.

“Actually I don’t really care if you steal from the rich but maybe not the rich guy who’s funding your shit. Steal from all his friends,” Bucky says and Peter blinks.

“Wait, what? I thought you had a thing against stealing!”

Buck shrugs, “I don’t count it if its from rich people who can replace it right away. Its like Robin Hood but selfish,” he says.

Peter stares at him for a long few moments before letting out a long string of swear words. “I’ve been avoiding stealing shit for three damn years and you didn’t even care the whole time? I’m robbing Betsy DeVos so blind she’s going to have to get laser eye surgery to correct it!” he says. He’s got plans.

Bucky throws his head back and laughs, “save that line, its funny.”

#peter quill x bucky #fanfiction #writing #alternate universe

[sealegs2414blankpages]

OSFTSB ~ Ch. 1 One Step At A Time

Standing in front of the foreboding building that felt like it was towering over Jungkook, he shifted from foot to foot. Tear streaks stained his cheeks and if he could hide behind his dark brown fringe he would. Sadly, he had just gotten a haircut three days ago and it hadn’t grown nearly enough to drop the curtain in front of his eyes and let Jungkook feel the comfort of not being able to see anyone and the thought that no one could see him. He had never felt so small, weak, unwanted, not loved, alone before. The way it spread through his veins like a slow acting poison  into his heart made him shift uncomfortably again.

He shouldn’t be here. He knew that. The person’s apartment he was standing in front of was one he hadn’t seen in three years. It had been too long for a casual drive by. He hadn’t come back from the army and decided to drop by and see his hyung. Jungkook was pretty sure he wasn’t even welcome to call him by such an intimate term. Sure, some people would toss the word hyung around quite loftily, once engaging with someone they knew they would see more than once but… Three years of radioactive silence. They weren’t friends, not even acquaintances anymore let alone brothers. Jungkook had fucked up then and he felt like he was about to fuck up now. Taking a hesitant step backwards, it was probably for the best that he just left. Turned away, walked away like he had allowed the other man to do years ago. Let? Hell, he didn’t have a choice or at least at the time it didn’t feel like a choice. They forcibly removed themselves from his life, taking all of their love, comfort, friendship, companionship, protection with them. It was a harsh blow, a sharp unexpected one but if he searched his hearts of hearts, Jungkook knew it was a well deserved one.

There was only so long you could use a person, even unintentionally because it became too much. To take and take and take without giving anything back. It was selfish. And here he stood, on the doorstep of the one he continously took from because another had harmed him; had taken from him a part of himself he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get back. It hurt. It fucking hurt; like a bear trap snapping its metal jaws and piercing the pathetic animal it had tricked and caught in its grasp.

Jungkook understood why his feet lead him here. He knew it was because he personally needed the one person who had never truly let him down. He needed the person that always had his best interests at heart, the person who he knew understood him, the person who actually loved him and always had loved him. Running his hand through his hair, Jungkook tugged on it in frustration and turned around. As much as he needed him, he didn’t deserve him. He didn’t deserve to be here after all he had put the other through. It didn’t matter that he had no idea anything was going on until after the fact, that actually made it worse. Jungkook didn’t deserve his comfort but his heart was shattered into pieces and even without Hoseok here right now, it still felt like he was stomping all over them.

The internal struggle had him standing in front of that person's apartment building for almost thirty minutes now. He couldn’t bring himself to leave, a few people had crossed his path on their way out, it was still pretty early in the evening. The odd glances and raised eyebrows Jungkook couldn’t even see.

“Be the better person.”

The words were muttered softly under his breath. He had to make the better choice. Jungkook knew that he couldn’t, absolutely could not walk in those doors, knock on his door and enter his life again if he wasn’t willing to go the full mile. If he wasn’t ready to live up to all of the others expectations. It would be so wrong of him to put him through that.

Again.

He couldn’t do that and as much as his heart was reaching out for the comfort he knew would embrace him so warmly and completely, soothe his soul and help him heal, Jungkook couldn’t, wouldn’t be selfish again.

“You deserve better.”

It had been three years, who even knew if he hadn’t moved on. Surely he had moved on by now. Those thoughts plagued his mind but Jungkook knew it was just a way to rationalize, to make it okay for him to knock on that door and take what he needed, just like how he always did without any thoughts prior.

Gazing up at the third floor, three windows from the center of the building, Jungkook sighed, pulling up his courage and turning around. He took the first step away from the building, away from him, being the person he should have been three years ago and putting his friend first.

One foot in front of the other, he kept moving. If he let just a moment of weakness cloud his mind, he would turn around and knock on that door. Jungkook really didn’t want to do that. He kept his bleeding heart to himself and pressed forward.

One step.

One step.

One more step.

Jungkook didn’t leave his apartment for the next three days. Partly because he was being lazy and partly because he didn’t think he could get very far without a tear or two escaping. He had always been a crybaby. When he was younger he cried in front of others. As he grew older Jungkook forced himself to hold it back but that didn’t mean he cried any less. No, he just did it more privately.

Receiving text messages from worried friends aka Kim Taehyung only made the man want to hide even more. He knew that Taehyung would be there for him but he didn’t want the pity, the sad glances when he thought Jungkook wasn’t looking. He just wanted to be alone, curl up into himself and wallow in the sorrow that was him not being enough for the man he had thought he was ready to tell he loved him. They had been dating for almost nine months and saying I love you had never been something he was good at but he felt ready. Or he did, until it was all smashed to smithereens with just a few words from his boyfriend. No, ex-boyfriend. Jung Hoseok was no longer his boyfriend. He apparently hadn’t been for awhile.

Lying on the couch in grey sweatpants, no shirt, his arm over his head with the television playing some type of sitcom that Jungkook was barely watching, he ignored the ping of his iphone. Taehyung never knew how to quit, but it was also the man’s perseverance that Jungkook admired. It took another ten minutes before he lazily reached out towards the coffee table, fingers scrabbling to reach his iphone. He managed to touch the corner but it was not quite enough. Rolling his body away from the couch and closer towards the table, Jungkook managed to pull it close enough to open the message without leaving this position.

Favorite hyung 11:36pm: Jungkook…

Favorite hyung 11:46pm: I saw you the other day.

As his eyes skimmed along the messages, his shock took over and he lost control in attempt to bring the phone closer, instead falling onto the floor with a heavy

“Oof!”

And his phone sliding off the table, smashing into his hip phone and onto the floor next to him. Damn, that hurt like a bitch. Hitting your bone with something so hard always seemed to hurt ten times worse than if you had hit a fleshy body part. Scrambling for his phone and propping himself up, Jungkook read the messages again. He hadn’t seen that name light up his phone in over three years, yet he could never delete his hyung’s number and apparently neither could his hyung.

The sting behind his eyes began and he wanted to cry all over again. The feelings he had when he first realized where his feet had led him rose up once more but with more intensity. He wanted so badly to get off this couch and just go see him. So much so that he didn’t even notice he had thrown on a shirt and was looking for his second sock until Jungkook’s mind finally caught up with his body. Staring down at the red sock in his hand he sighed.

“What the hell are you doing Jeon Jungkook?” he muttered, tossing his sock to his floor and shaking his head before shuffling into his bathroom and turning on the shower. Very clearly he needed to empty his mind. Undressing quickly, he tossed his clothes onto the floor, pushed the shower curtain aside, stepping into the tub and letting the lukewarm water fall over him.

Clearing his mind had worked for the last 19 hours. Not even a full 24 hours and Jungkook found himself in the same place that he was just four days ago. Feet frozen to the concrete block right in front of Yoongi’s apartment complex. His hands held his iPhone with his fingers hovering over the keys to type a quick text message to his hyung. However, they were frozen too. He just stood there, staring up at the same window. He shouldn’t be here. Shouldn’t be here. Shouldn’t be here. Jungkook needed to turn around right now. It was bad enough that his hair hadn’t even been brushed, clothes a mismatched mess with a oversized orange shirt and royal blue sweatpants that had some odd tribal like lime green and purple design on them. They belonged to Taehyung but he must have left them at Jungkook’s apartment the last time he came over.

The longer he stood there the more he remembered why he had left the first time. The irrational part of his brain was telling him that his hyung had messaged him so this was okay to do, it was okay to be here. However, the rational part of his brain was telling him to stop rationalizing things so that he would feel better. This was the exact reason he had hurt his hyung so much in the first place. His selfishness was overwhelming and seemed to know no bounds.

Jungkook felt the pin pricks behind his eyes once more and he really wanted to just let it out but he was in public. A woman walking her chihuahua had already given him an odd look for just standing there staring up at a window so forlornly. He knew that he looked like a hot mess and as much as it made him embarrassed it just made him even more upset. When did the tears fall? How did he let them? Why? Letting out a deep sigh, Jungkook turned away from the window and repeated what allowed him to leave the first time. To respect his hyung as he should have done so long ago.

One step.

One more foot in front of the other.

One hand wrapped around his wrist, pulling back on his momentum and jerking him to a stop. Looking over his shoulder, Jungkook’s eyes met with a man a number of centimeters shorter than him, pale blonde hair that was much different than the raven black he had previously but the same midnight pools that clouded with confusion and worry every single time.

Why hadn’t he seen it before? How could he have missed it? It was so obvious, blinking in his face like the red and blue lights of a police car plowing down the highway towards him. Guilt immediately washed over him.

“Jungkook…”

The rasp of the others voice sounded as if he had just woken from a deep sleep and it sent a chill down the younger’s spine. He hadn’t heard this voice in three years. Three years. It was so long, he had forgotten just how soothing his voice was. Jungkook would even say that it rivaled his mother’s voice when she was singing him a lullaby as a child. This was something he had never let the other man know, nor would he ever. Hell to the no, that would have to stay sealed in his vault of secrets.

“Yoongi Hyu-ssi,”

His words faltered as did his gaze on the older man, casting his eyes off to the side he pulled his wrist out of the man’s loose grasp. If he had just held the gaze a second longer he would have noted the tiny bit of hurt that flashed across Yoongi’s eyes before promptly returning to his infamous mask. Once upon a time, Jungkook had thought he had figured it out, been able to see through his mask. Letting his eyes flicker up briefly to the one person who was proving once again to never let him down when it counts, he came to the realization that he never once knew Min Yoongi’s mask. That was just him reflecting what he wanted to see. Such a fool he had been. No, is. Such a fool he is.

A deep sigh could be heard between them but the owner continued directly after,

“Come on.”

There wasn’t any room for argument, it was unyielding and only reinforced when Yoongi reclaimed Jungkook’s wrist in his hand and tried to walk away. Jungkook was dragged along for a couple of steps but short stopped causing the other male to be jerked back some. Turning back he questioned the younger quietly.

“I-I didn’t mean to come here.”

Yoongi remained silent just staring into Jungkook’s tear streaked face. He didn’t understand the younger’s point because he sure as hell didn’t mean to look out his window, find Jungkook crying in front of his apartment complex for not the first but the second time. He didn’t mean to struggle for days, typing out a message only to erase it and type it out, wash and repeat, wash and repeat for three days. And he certainly didn’t mean to go down to meet the kid that for some reason stayed outside for at least 20 minutes. Yet, here they were. Jungkook had walked himself to his door after three years of silence and here was Yoongi running right to the crying boy, heart contracting in ways he had thought, hoped had ceased to exist a long time ago. Instead his heart was acting like the Tin Man that had been left unattended for years but just a little bit of oil and he was remembering how to function exactly as he had before.

“So?”

A part of him was struggling to pull away, to let Jungkook walk away, to continue the beneficial distance they created. He had created, the younger didn’t have a choice. It was the right choice, he knew it. These past three years had proved it as well. However, here they were, Jungkook with trails of tears along his cheeks and the bigger part of Yoongi hurt for the younger. He couldn’t just leave him be, not when the younger had sought him out whether he meant to or not.

“I shouldn’t-”

The sadness in the younger’s eyes, the struggle he could see as Jungkook fought over what he should be doing right now just frustrated Yoongi. He knew what the younger was thinking, he always had. Yoongi was aware that finally after six years Jungkook understood all that Yoongi had been to him, all that Yoongi had sacrificed, all that Yoongi had shoved away just to make the younger happy. He knew that Jungkook felt severe guilt but neither of them could change the past and right now the extreme hurt and sadness that Jungkook was emitting like a beacon, plagued Yoongi so much more.

“Shouldn’t have what? Come here… but you did. Should I just ignore that you’ve been crying on my doorstep?” he all but growled at the younger.

Controlling his anger had always been easy except upon two occasions. When he had finally had enough of continuously hurting himself and when someone hurt the man who was standing directly in front of him now. Yoongi was frustrated with a lot of things, Jungkook looking so broken and lost, the fact that he himself had come down here, the fact that he himself still cared, the fact that he himself still seemed to jump whenever the younger called even though Jungkook technically hadn’t called at all. That actually made things worse. The fact that Jungkook was standing on his doorstep crying, broken and still seemingly the most beautiful soul Min Yoongi had ever laid eyes on.

“Yes.”

“Stop being stubborn,” he sighed out, ready to turn around and drag the younger inside of the apartment complex. Somehow they were still standing about fifteen feet from the entrance. Jungkook’s gaze sharpened in his resolve to not listen to the elder.

“I’m not being stubborn. I’m trying to respect you the way I should have always respected you.”

If the blonde's jaw could actively drop to the ground it would, hanging ajar, Yoongi had to make a conscious effort to close it. What load of bullshit was this kid spitting. If he wasn’t so annoyed right now, he would have found the sentiment cute. He let go of Jungkook’s wrist, letting it drop by his side. Keeping himself centered, he looked directly at the younger,

“It’s been three years Jungkook. You don’t need to tread lightly around my feelings.” His voice softened, “They… are in the past.”

Lie.

Lie.

Such a fucking lie.

“Ju- just come in. I still care about you.” Shifting his eyes off to his left shoulder before raising back up, growing the courage to say his next line without removing the mask he had so carefully constructed so many years ago. Clearing his throat he continued,

“I’ll always care about you. As a friend.”

The smoke swirling around his nostrils traveling into his lungs, filling them in such a way that it wasn’t just difficult to breathe but it physically hurt to draw in a breath and release one. A friend. That was the joke of a century. When had he ever wanted to just be Jungkook’s friend? Actually, there was a time, multiple times. Every night when they were just friends he had hoped he’d wake up the next morning rid of any other feeling except fond appreciation for the younger boy.

It never happened though. Jungkook’s smile was his smile, his laughter made Yoongi’s soul soar, his presence was the warmest blanket, his touch a mixture between cool water sliding along his skin making him fresh and clean for another day and the scorching flames that would lick caustically and consume anything in it’s path. Jungkook had always felt like the house Yoongi could never go home to but desperately wished to return to and he had hoped that one day he would be Jungkook’s home as well.

A friend.

Yes, that was the biggest lie Min Yoongi had ever told. It was also one of the most necessary lies he had ever told. If he felt that way before he said it, he wholly felt that way. Something in Jungkook seemed to relax, made him hesitate and that was all the opening that Yoongi needed. The crack was just big enough. Stepping closer he clasped his large hand around Jungkook’s and tugged on it gently, nodding his head towards the front door of his apartment complex.

This time Jungkook allowed himself to be pulled along, one foot in front of the other. Well, he was doing that just not in the direction he had originally wanted. Even worse he couldn’t seem to stop himself from feeling that familiar calmness spread from his hand along his arm to the rest of his body. There was and always had been something about his hyung that had always been able to settle his feelings into complacency. It was a mystery but one that Jungkook had always appreciated.

OSFTSB Chapters

#sealegs2414 blank pages #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #OSFOSB #one step forward one step back #bangtan boys #bangtan sonyeondan #bts jungkook #bts suga #bts yoongi #min yoongi #suga #jungkook #jeon jungkook #sugakookie #yoonkook #OSFTSB #one step forward two steps back

[ikirai]

soma when i make the time i'd take mind the wind diamond a Galaxy, ahead of myself some spread the word on and on with the gospel aflown I'm only the ground Turn up Tuesday all over the difference a cuo locally bound I'm not surprised within, tell me what did you feel when you were done opening town? Sore the eye visual brainstorm ... visiting student trail Bond paper tapes understand my resum-ed start -press on guilty as based attacks detachable part.puppeteer and red Dawn trace .will I dude stare at the moon a full face cycle what's worth

working on words some say, ... Necessarily strong enough with U by the way I felt U hand over sLay Something to the effect play nobody knows pray`One only does goes well gates, Of the Line shallow water heater emancipate shout out once again thank you I am sorry why-wait are you LOcated outer space final decision summer camp away did you or didn't you recognize my shake take care the chase U Hi Kim Hit a memory where were we fake some tune In Vein Instruments of fate running my government .. meanwhile the goods get got Put out the mop bate the cheese-cake I'm mean as slow as hot steps did I say the harder way? Passed code is blessed I'd be napping now, bullish  pushing past the deadline I guessed like adaptive to hearing under arrest-ooouuuie.                                                   wiping my brow with my breh.                                                                                           Staying after for a bit failed the servers for sure power-forward artest-Earlier today but all in all rondo ah bread

Fed red ink to breast alert and I'll re render the bitch Grr commitment nothing's even though the owl person.                                       that miles flirt fracture odd shape

handled tired-all port traffic nuh sweat With absolutely no! Mousers! based on Mercury, that's menthol only God can judge me did it while at half end Chihuahuas blackened. hmm Fill in the shoe bravo Johnny and Mitch hearts through yet velzabub Searing the narc some work to do anything anarchist 

rolls on tongue new glue nothing's going on with it tax returns lists milks muscles act like you new they balance with you had you at tip ball imbecile facing my wall Not next to you as texted Domina cap Thanks off to watch chappy now _, you ma dorm and in no way do me and Jenn A relate what you wink tinkering pulses gate

Late getaway ass sulking mall date making egotism a bit of an access shake hear now man in China imagine that's a bow scheduled power press banana bread game four bars four more brackets drilling tool enamel brakes Bracing for A Concussion a restaurant, drapes Bang em gunpoint and Dow l now that there's only solidity in my arrogance applicant race eco friendly mode, Sol not sure arrogance

original reason here solve the code for this research u all over these parts promote

[eatbreathecreatestartover-blog]

Writing Prompt: Why do you write/journal?

My thoughts might mean nothing to most people, but to me, they are all I have. It's funny. I have always been a journal keeper, but the day my parents took my tie-dye best friend away that all changed. I remember the day I walked in to my bedroom to see my thin mattress pad askew. When I think about that day, my heart still both sinks and races.

   I knew that I had never really had any privacy, any safe place in a home where my every move was under a microscope. The slightest slip up was an intentional attack to my family because I was such a wicked child. I knew that my words and my actions belonged to my parents. There was no way I could defend myself with those. I could do everything exactly as they wished and still get everything twisted. My thoughts, however, my journal... I always thought that, at least. they belonged to me. That small journal, that tiny bit of me, THAT was mine. At Church, at school, in my home, I was who everyone expected me to be. I said what was expected of me or I said nothing at all. In my journal, though, I was finally me. I could write what I was really feeling. I could trust someone with my secrets. I could breathe for a minute. I didn't have to censor my feelings, I could be honest about my pain. THEY couldn't tell me who I was.

   Until the day they could. I remember being so excited to escape back into my room. I wanted to be left alone, just like every day. That was all I ever wanted, to be left alone. At least if I was alone, I wouldn't piss anyone off. No one had a reason to hurt me. I would get to my room, pull my bright little journal out from its hiding place, and vent. I would sit there and listen to my siblings laughing at whatever tv show was on. I would hold my breathe at every creak of a floorboard, praying that no one was looking for me. I could always tell who was coming and what mood they were in just by those creaks in the floorboard. When it sounded like everyone was safely occupied, I could finally begin. I knew the potential cost of being honest, but in my mind, I couldn't lose. I thought my hiding place was foolproof. I thought I was safe. In my house, complacency was dangerous. The moment I truly felt safe was the moment the rug would get pulled out from under me. Just as it was that day.

    I ran up the stairs, two at a time. The dishes were done, my sister and brothers were in the living room settled into a show. My parents had excused themselves after dinner, saying they were tired and headed to bed. I was in the clear. I opened the door I shared with my sister and immediately my stomach dropped to the floor. I knew how bad it was in milliseconds. I will never get the image of my father sitting on the bed, my mother leaning against our dresser arms folded with a look of disgust and rage in her face. The drawers of the little white dresser were half closed, clothing sticking out, clearly ruffled through. My dad had my journal in his hands, open and reading, my pillows on the floor. The oddness of this image still sticks with me. The brightness of my little journal against the darkness of the tunnel vision that started to set in. If you have ever been so afraid that your senses seem to change, you know what I mean. your heart beats into your ears, your vision gets better and worse all at the same time, everything seems to move in slow-motion.

   I wrote about everything in there. I wrote about the times they hit me, the time my dad threw my metal office chair at me, the time my mom held my face to our kitchen counter, yanking me by my hair, telling me i missed some crumbs. I wrote about when they forbade me from youth group because I was an embarrassment, because no one would like me and everyone would think I was weird. I wrote about the time my mom gave me a bloody nose by jabbing me in the face, or the time she shoved her fingers in my mouth, under my tongue, dug her nails in and pulled me around. I wrote about how much I hated them, about how I wished I would have died all of the times I "should" have because it would have been better than living the way I was. I wrote that I truly hated my mom most of all, because she worked at our church but was the meanest, bitchiest, scariest, most abusive person at home. This, specifically was the page they were reading as I walked in. "I really hate my mom. I can't help it, I hate her."

   I was terrified. At 13 I was still so small, I was under 5 feet and weighed 90 lbs soaking wet. I had a tendency to shake like a Chihuahua. I still do I suppose. I remember thinking that my parents were giants. My mom was 5'9 and very, very large. My dad was 5'11 and also pretty big. it was always so terrifying when one would loom over me, puffed up, seeming to take up all of the space in a room. 

     The rest is a blur, though I remember is getting told that I could no longer have my journal, that it was a privilege that I was no longer allowed to have. my mother slapped me across the face, and stormed out of the room calling me a "wicked little bitch" and my dad, still holding my journal told me that I was a disappointment, ungrateful, to clean my room, apologize to my mom and that I would be getting room inspections regularly to make sure that I wasn't keeping a journal anymore. (one of these inspections was when they found my secret "runaway from home" fund that I hid under a loose corner of carpet, more than a year later.) That was the day I found out that even my thought and feelings were under control of my parents.  The next time I had a journal was college, and I have struggled to keep one ever since.

   That is why I will write. I own my thoughts. I own my feelings. I have the RIGHT to express myself safely and I will not let them take that from me. I write for my 13 year old self. I write to make sense of my childhood. I write to know myself. I write because they can't control this part of me anymore.

I write to heal.

#writngprompt #why do i write #personal #real talk #healing #how about you?

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Heartbroken

Summary: (Supernatural & Psych crossover fic) The reader and the Winchesters investigate a case in Santa Barbara where they run into a man who claims to be a psychic detective...

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: 2,400ish

Warnings: language?

A/N: Still don’t think I did this one justice but figured it was time to finally put it out there...

“You’re supposed to be an FBI agent, Y/N,” said Dean with a chuckle. “Not some awe struck tourist.”

“I’ve never been so close to the ocean that I can see it a hundred feet away,” you said, Dean’s hand on your lower back occasionally pushing and pulling you as you kept your gaze locked on the beach and water just off to your right.

“Maybe when the case is done we can hang out for a few days,” said Sam, turning to look at the ocean as well. 

Just in time to run smack into a guy.

“I’m so sorry!” Sam said holding up his hands. The other guy was just as nice as Sam, both men apologizing to one another until Dean grunted and you bit down a laugh.

“My bad,” said the guy one more time, patting down Sam’s suit jacket before he jogged over to a tiny blue car where another man was waiting. 

“I don’t think Sam would fit in that thing,” said Dean, watching the guy back out and take off. You were about to agree when something to your left caught your eye. You tugged on Dean’s arm and pointed it out, his laugh out of this world. 

“Oh my god,” said Sam, unable to contain his laughter. “Psych. Private Psychic Detective.”

“Chuck help us if we have to step foot in that place,” said Dean. “Let’s grab some quick lunch then head down to the police station.”

A very nice officer, McNab you thought his name was, showed you down to the morgue where you were introduced to some interesting people.

“That guy look like Cain to you?” asked Dean, pointing through the window. 

“Uh huh, just without the beard and long hair. The coroner...remind you of any angels we knew?” asked Sam.

“Zachariah? Yeah. This place is weird,” said Dean. “Let’s just get the case over with and get out of here.”

“Agents Smith, Coleman and Marks?” asked a blonde around your height. The three of you nodded and she gave a kind smile. “I’m Detective Juliet O’Hara if you want to follow me and look at the body.”

You’d done this plenty of times but what you hadn’t seen through the window was the two men off in the corner, both of whom you recognized.

“Hey,” said Sam and the man in the plain dress shirt and slacks at the same time.

“You guys know each other?” asked Juliet, Sam and the other man shaking heads.

“Bumped into each other earlier,” said Sam, the man who’d been quiet thus far stepping forward. He had on sneakers, jeans and a plaid shirt, one you were fairly certain Dean owned actually.

“Shawn Spencer, psychic detective, consultant for the SBPD,” he said, your eyebrows raising as you were sure the boys were trying to keep their faces neutral. “This is my partner M.C. Clap Yo Hands.”

“Burton Guster. You can call me Gus,” said the man Sam had run into. Gus gave you a small smile and you immediately felt Dean’s hand in the back of your skirt tugging you back. You were sure the look on Dean’s face told him you were off limits.

“Spencer, these are FBI Agents so why don’t you leave us alone for a minute,” said the man who’d looked like Cain’s twin. “Detective Carlton Lassiter,” he said, holding out a hand to Sam who was closest.

“I’m Woody,” said the coroner and you smiled, Dean elbowing you in the ribs. “I’m not really good at the whole formal stuff.”

“Woody’s about the creepiest nice person you’ll ever meet so a harmless puppy dog,” said Shawn and you wondered what strange universe you’d been dropped into.

“Can we have a few minutes with the body?” asked Dean, putting enough authority in his voice to make everyone want to get out of there. Except for the psychic who you could already tell was a fake. He didn’t look like he was going anywhere. “Shawn, right? You too bud.”

“I think we’d all be interested to see agents like yourselves in action,” said Shawn. Lassiter was thankfully fed up with him and dragged him out of there leaving you three to work in peace.

“That guy’s a total fake,” said Sam as soon as the three of you were alone. Dean was tossing you gloves as he scoffed. 

“Considering we’ve known real psychics I’d say that’s kind of obvious,” said Dean, pulling the sheet on the body back. “Super observant though.”

“He was watching us pretty closely,” you said, leaning in closer to look at the marks on the victim.

“Gus was watching one of us pretty closely himself,” said Sam, Dean snapping his head up.

“Baby, I think he got the message,” you said, smiling to Dean. “This guy though, he doesn’t look like a werewolf like we thought.”

“Heart’s missing but wasn’t ripped out. Looks more like it was removed surgically,” said Sam. “Maybe some cult thing?”

“Probably,” said Dean, turning the body over. “Now that’s odd.”

“He’s got a anti-possession tattoo like us,” you said, seeing the one on his shoulder. “You think this guy was a hunter?”

“File says he was Gray Holmeson, an accountant. Single, lived alone. Didn’t show up to work one day and they found him out in the woods two days later,” said Sam. “Could have been a former hunter, he’s about fifty-five according to this.”

“Maybe something looking for a little revenge?” you asked, shaking your head. “You said Holmeson right?”

“Yeah, you recognize it?” asked Sam. You nodded your head. 

“I think he knew my parents,” you said, pulling out your phone. “They told me and my sister about this guy they took under their wing when he was alone and just starting out. I remember he had some name that was a color which I thought was funny.”

“I thought your sister didn’t hunt anymore,” said Dean. “You think-”

“Hey! What’s up?” you said, putting on a happy and high voice. “At work, God it’s so boring...yeah, I know...I know, I promise I’ll bring around Dean to meet you soon...he’s got a single brother...oh definitely...hey we got a new guy starting, kind of older that I have to train and his name sounded familiar, thought he might have known mom and dad...Gray Holmes?...you’re right, they knew a Holmeson...I’ll give you a call soon to set something up with the guys, okay?...Love you too.”

“So he’s definitely an ex hunter,” said Sam. “Did you set me up on a date with your sister by the way?”

“You’re invited to dinner is all,” you said, turning to Dean. “What are you thinking?”

“I think another person did this,” said Dean. “I don’t know why but they stitched him up afterwords. It’s just off to me.”

“We’ll check out any other hunters in the area, see if someone had a reason for going after him,” said Sam, snapping off his gloves. You got out of the station no problem and were nearly in Baby when Shawn and Gus ran over from where they waited outside their car.

“Can we help you guys with something? We’re kind of busy,” asked Dean, Shawn and Gus standing with confidence.

“You and ‘Agent Marks’ are dating, pretty serious too. You and ‘Agent Coleman’ are brothers even if you have no real similarities. None of you are FBI agents. In fact, all of you have committed more crimes than most of the people in that station combined. How am I doing so far?” asked Shawn, Dean keeping his cool.

“Mr. Spencer-” Sam got out before Shawn was rolling his eyes and groaning like a small child.

“Tell us what you’re up to before we go in there and tell our friends you aren’t real cops and they can-”

“I suggest you get back in your car and leave us alone unless you want us to tell them you’re a fake too,” said Dean, squaring his shoulders. Shawn and Gus scoffed but they knew they weren’t fooling you three.

“I think we should discuss this somewhere more private,” you said, nodding to the officer walking on the sidewalk.

“We got the perfect place,” said Shawn, waving for you to follow.

“I can’t believe we’re in this stupid place,” muttered Dean as he stood in the middle of their “psychic” detective agency.

“Guys!” you shouted, turning all four men’s attention on you. “All of you, stop acting like little boys and talk like grown men.”

“Who are you guys? For real?” asked Gus. 

“Who are you for real?” shot back Dean as you groaned.

“Enough!” you shouted.

“Why are you with the angry Chihuahua? He seems a little too standoffish for someone with your brains,” said Shawn. 

“Don’t do that,” said Sam, taking a step between you and the psychic detectives. “She gets kind of defensive of him and by kind of I mean she’d probably already have punched you by now if I weren’t standing here.”

“Woah, everybody just calm down,” said Gus, your gaze falling on Shawn.

“Fine, no more nicknames for sparky,” said Shawn, taking a seat at a desk and kicking up his feet. Dean was practically growling but you weren’t going to make any progress on this case if you were arguing the whole time.

“Just tell us what you know and we’ll handle it from here,” said Dean, standing on the other side of the desk, staring down at Shawn. Shawn simply shrugged which surprised you. Dean was a big guy and had no problem intimidating other men if he had to. But this Shawn was definitely not your normal fake.

“I thought we working together,” said Shawn, cocking his head as he tossed a baseball up and down.

“Talk. Now,” said Dean, done with the games.

“Gray Holmeson. My guess is an ex-lover with a medical background. They were mad enough to kill but still cared enough to not destroy the body. Heart gone, broken heart. Isn’t it kind of obvious?” asked Shawn. 

Sam threw you a look that said he had a point. 

“He was in the Mid-West area for a number of years from these medical records. Looks like he had a kid with a Julie Smith in-”

“What?” you shouted, running over to the screen.

“Uh, is that a problem?” asked Gus, watching as you ripped the computer away.

“Y/N’s mom’s name was Julie Smith. Her parents kind of knew this guy,” said Sam as you clutched at the screen.

“She did not cheat on dad, she couldn’t have...” you trailed off. But looking at the date when this Gray had a kid...that was your big sister. Your half-sister apparently.

“Y/N, I’m sorry sweetheart,” said Dean, taking a seat beside you. You flashed open your eyes as you realized why he was saying that.

“It’s Lauren? No, Lauren is so sweet, she helps people. She’s a doctor,” you said, Dean’s hand running up and down your back.

“She used to hunt, Y/N. I know she thinks you both got out of the life but...I guess she found out somehow and took revenge,” said Sam.

“So your sister killed this guy? Maybe we should have let them have this case,” said Shawn.

“It’s my sister,” you said, putting your head in your hands.

“Shawn,” said Gus. “We can...ya know...”

“You guys hang out here. Snacks in the fridge, fro-yo stand just down the pier. We’ll be back in a few hours,” said Shawn.

“What are you going to do?” you asked, knowing the answer.

“The part you don’t want to.”

Hey, Y/N? It might be a while before I get some free time to meet Dean and his brother. Work’s hectic right now. It might be a long time before you hear from me again. Just know I love you. -Lauren

She sent that text and you knew Shawn and Gus had confronted her somehow. They let her have one last goodbye where she didn’t know you knew before she took off for good. Maybe they weren’t so bad after all.

“So we shouldn’t show our faces around the station I’m guessing?” you heard Sam ask when the guys finally showed back up.

“Probably not the best idea for now,” said Gus. Shawn came in carrying a few pizzas and you saw him hand one to Dean.

“I’m kind of a dick, you’re kind of a dick but same team and all that,” said Shawn.

“Thanks for not making us do that and letting her...slide a bit. One bit of bad doesn’t outweigh all the good she’s done,” said Dean, standing and shaking his hand. Shawn shook his head to tell all of you to forget about it and that there’d be no problems from them.

“So if you don’t mind me asking, what do you guys actually do? Are you batman types or something?” asked Shawn, eating a piece of pizza and watching you carefully. 

“What do you think?” you asked, trying to take your mind off your sister and focus on whatever strange ability this guy had.

“Well we’ve got two brothers, two lovers, a whole lot of emotional scaring not counting today. Strange little family you have. You help people though,” said Shawn.

“’Bout sums it up,” said Dean, plopping back down in his seat.

“Seriously, you guys know about Shawn and you aren’t going to tell?” asked Gus.

“We keep our friends secrets,” said Sam. 

“Well in our newfound friendship, what do you guys do?” asked Shawn, not letting it go. The three of you looked at each other and shrugged.

“We hunt the things that go bump in the night. Werewolves, vampires, ghosts, ghouls, demons. Weird random crap,” said Sam.

“I killed Hitler,” said Dean with a smile. You smacked him on the arm, thinking he was done doing that all the time.

“Right,” said Gus, him and Shawn bursting out laughing. “I mean, I know the psychic thing is fake but that stuff? You guys are something else.”

“Whatever,” said Dean. “You guys ever run into any weird stuff, give us a call. That’s more up our alley.”

“Uh guys, Cas texted us a case up in Washington. Wendigo by the looks of it,” said Sam. You groaned, hoping for some more time to get your head on straight.

“Anything we can help with?” asked Shawn, coming out of his laughing state long enough to be genuine.

“No. Just do us a favor and stay out of the Northwest for the next week. Safer that way,” said Dean, standing up, Sam and you following suit.

“Wait,” said Gus, getting his sense back. “You guys are for real?”

“Like we said, ever run into something strange, give us a call.”

@anokhi07 @xxwinchester-22xx @charliebradbury1104 @everyday-supernatural-af @squirels-angels-and-moose @youwerelikeadream @drugpug@darkx143 @kristaparadowski @tom-is-in-my-tardis @tanithlowisabamf @smoothdogsgirl @dancingalone21 @ktrivia @demonic-meatball  @oaisara @feelmyroarrrr  @illisea @cojootromuelle @gallifreyansass@fangirl1802 @angelwingsandsupernaturalthings @itstheprincess @casgetoutofmydiddlydarnass @mogaruke@secretlyfurrydragon @perpetualabsurdity @ria132love @heycassbutt-67 @aingealcethlenn @docharleythegeekqueen  @missmotherhen@smacklesandstretch67 @ceeceewinchester  @tumblinwith-me @xfanqirlinq @heaven-is-aplaceonearthwithyou @hey-um-misha@bennyyh @acreativelydifferentlove @imissyoualittlemoreeveryday @lovelife-tothefullest @under-general-asthetics

#supernatural #spn #psych #crossover fic #sam and dean #sam and dean winchester #psych fic #spn fic #supernatural fic #shawn and gus #one shot #supernatural one shot #spn one shot #psych one shot

[shenanigentravels]

Devils Dyke - Easter Hike

BEEP BEEP BEEP! I found myself huffing at my alarm ringing 6:30 am on a bank holiday Monday. But it wasn’t for me, it was for my ex-wife who needed to get up for work. I didn’t mind because today was the day I was going to test out all my gear for my London to Brighton Trek in the end of May. I wanted to get used to carrying the gear and to get time one feet with some training hikes.

Today’s game plan was to hike from my flat to Devils Dyke and to then hike a bit of the area once I got there, and to finally get the bus back to civilization. Well very quickly that turned into a completely different adventure. I said my goodbyes and have my somewhat healthy breakfast of porridge and a protein shake. I packed some spare nutri-grain bars that I would refuel once I reached Devils Dyke before hiking the actual trails. I found myself grumbling at my camelback that I Jerry-Rigged inside my cheap MOLLE bag, for I didn’t realize that the nozzle was off the drinking tube last night, and it spilt over a liter of water all over my mattress and room.

I tried to use a hair dryer to soak up some of the water off my mattress and was only partially successful. Final checks and I was ready to head out at 08:30 to start my hike. I had a tight schedule to follow I wanted to be back by 1 at latest so I would be back in time to do the house cleaning and things. As I turned up the road to head to the top of my street I was greeted with a cool breeze. I shivered slightly but happy that I decided to wear my Ayacucho hoodie. This goes with me everywhere and it like a trademark. I got it from a sale at Cotswold outdoor shop and its perfect. Just heavy enough to keep me warm when things get a bit cool, but also as I later discovered, breathed enough so I didn’t over heat like I would in a normal hoodie.

This is also complimented with my cadet style hat to keep sun out of my eyes and ADIDAS walking shoes to finish the look.   It would take me over three miles to get to the top of the A23 motorway island to where the trail actually started. In the mean time I would just take it one step at a time enjoying my own company. It was early enough I didn’t have to worry about cars heckling me because of the rucksack I was wearing. Occasionally cyclists would pass as they were enjoying the sunshine on the bank holiday and had the same idea I did. I would enjoy the singing birds and admiring the flowerbeds with tulips in full bloom.

I even found myself stopping to adjust my first aid kit from my belt attachment to be swapped over and attached to the actual bag. See this is the reason for the test run; I’m not that crazy after all!  The large first aid pouch was pulling the belt on my left side too much and it was just to big, so it was quickly decided two miles in that it needed to be adjusted. Which made a huge difference and helped down the road It was 09:30 and I finally was at the top of the large hill and ready to cross two small round about that exit to the A23 motorway. 

I patently waited my turn and when I saw a break in traffic I made a beeline across the road and then made it to a steep path leading up to my first gate and my first step out of civilization. 

And for the first time I was in awe by the South Downs. I know that sounds bad, but I come from the land of mountains and glaciers so I did turn my nose up at “hills” but today the sun was breaking through clouds and you could see their shadows spilling across the landscape accentuating the rolling hills. For the first time I was in awe. But no time to lose I turned left and started to head down a gravel path towards Devils Dyke. I passed various runners and other walkers and hikers, exchanging pleasantries. The sun was also coming out to say hello and very quickly the temperature was rising.  The road was to my left were the odd car was making its way down the twisty road, or the loud shouting of cyclists as they attempted to talk to each other as they pedaled on. Cows and horses on my right grazing on the endless fields but also never taking their eyes off me to make sure I wasn’t a potential threat. This would not be the last time I would see my bovine friends.

Bushes now started to hide my view on either side and then turned into a small patch of thin trees. I stopped dreaming for a bit as a found a very recent make shift campsite, that looked dodgy at best and also looked very fresh. I stopped filming and taking photos and started to be even more aware of behind and in front of me. I know this sounds ridiculous to some, but it was just in case and once I got back in a clearing I wasn’t to worried.

It was nearing 10:30 and I had been hiking for two hours now, I was ready to get to Devils Dyke and refuel at the pub, have a bathroom break and hit the trail again. But it became very apparent that this plan was going to change. There were people everywhere! Like I know it was a nice day and all, but this was almost uncharacteristically busy.  

But I didn’t mind the crowd too much and just wanted to get out of the sun and refuel. But nope…pub door is locked…and now I had a decision to make.

 For the National Trust was hosting an Easter egg hunt on the trail I wanted to hike, so there were going to be kid everywhere! The original plan was to get to Devils Dyke, hike a trail and then take the 77 bus back and head home from Seven Dials.

Well now with egg hunting munchkins everywhere I just wanted to get as far away from them as possible. I found a nice wooded area next to the pub where I knew a large log was. I had hiked this area before in preparation for Spartan race and knew I could refuel there in peace.

I was in luck and the tree was free. I pulled out the map of trails that I grabbed when I entered the park and looked at my options. I decided to take the purple trail, which was the longer train, but instead of doubling back on myself to get the bus, I was just going to walk all the way back to Hove, but this also meant adding 5 miles and an additional hour and half to my journey. But I was not going to stay around here that’s for sure. I refueled with my nutri-grain bars I packed earlier and I still had plenty of water and made my way to the start of the purple trail.

In all honesty I was excited to try a new part of the Devils Dyke Park, so maybe it was a blessing in disguise, but also it was a lot steeper than the other routes, which I could see why more adults only were on it. As I made my way down the thin narrow trail I actually found myself getting a bit dizzy with the sheer drop that was to my left. I tried not to look down but you cant help it, and then I would feel myself lose my balance, as if my body was trying to make me roll down hundreds of feet to the bottom. But soon the path made its way to another patch of trees and very steep steps! I was greeted by a Chihuahua who thought he was ten times bigger than he was and his owners scolded him as I passed.

I just smiled and said my usual “hi buddy” After I got to the bottom the steep stairs I saw a trail marker sign for the purple trail and once more I was in a large forest area. I enjoyed the silence and just listening to my breathing and keeping it in check. Birds made various calls around me but it was also very quiet. 

The path started to get narrow and steep again but I didn’t mind, my feet now were ready for the climb down and warmed up.

After about 30 minutes I was back out of the forest and at the bottom base of Devils Dyke. I have been here before with my Ex and Father in Law, I remember us arguing about the map and how I didn’t know where I was going, when now I’m seeing I did know but that’s by the by. I hiked my way up the massive hill and turned left leaving the park. 

This was new territory now, and this is where I was taking a gamble and where the real adventure began. I made my way across a busy road and walking through a farm.

There were trail markers for the South Downs Way, which is what I wanted, to a point, but if I kept going on the trail it would take me to far north and I wouldn’t be able to make it back. 

Now I had to rely on my direction and using landmarks to get where I needed to be. Once I passed the farm the path split again and now I knew I needed to head right (south) but now I was going to be walking in a field with cows, cows that until now were separated by a fence. They were lazily eating hay left by their owners but I still didn’t want to surprise them, especially because there were calves with them. Again might be over thinking it but just wanted to be safe. I opened gate after gate of the “public bridal way” and even saw very little baby lambs (which as I said on video, I guess lambs are babies) but by this point I had been hiking for 4 hours and was getting tired.  

Mama sheep was not impressed I was filming and started stomping her foot at me, I wasn’t even close I was a good 20 feet away. But still mama’s instincts are what they are. Just a few feet up the way I was passed by some mountain bikers and this is important later. We said hello and crossed past each other. Finally was I was at another gate that seemed to cut through a field, I could see the exit gate maybe 40 feet from me, there was just one problem…it was chained shut. Well shit…but hang on if those mountain bikers passed me they must have gotten in somewhere. So I walked for 45 minutes down this field walking parallel with a road in the distance that I knew would eventually intersect with the road that I crossed on the way here. And I knew the see was in front of me, so I wasn’t lost, but I clearly wasn’t on a path any more and now trapped in some farmer’s field with barbed wire fence everywhere.  By the end of it my feet were slipping and I even feel once rolling my ankle. I took a second after cursing the sky and made sure I was OK. My ankles are weak and the roll easily, but I had my first aid kit with me just in case. But I was ok, dusted the dry cow shit off my trousers and headed down towards the road. I could hear and see the roar of cars so I thought the end was near and I was in the clear…but no, still a fence and no gate, I could see a gate beyond the barbed wire, so I wasn’t far.

I caught my breath and looked at the situation. There was a weak spot in the fence where I obviously wasn’t the first person to do this. So I threw my hoodie over the fence and took my rucksack off. I placed it under the weak chain-link and barbed wire fence and lay on my back. Slowly looking up at the sky I shimmied under the fence like a limbo dancer trying not to touch the pole. I made it, safe and sound. I then walked about 10 feet and climbed over the massing cattle gate and I was out. And now walking along the busy road that I thought I was avoiding in the first place. I didn’t have to go far before I saw a path again at I was back in a field again, but I wasn’t inches away from the road and cars roaring past. By this point my fun meter was pegged out, I was ready to be home but I knew I had at least 5 miles ahead of me.  Grumbling to myself I kept moving forward and then I saw my bovine friends coming down the hill to their feeding trough. I knew it was the same ones from before because my Garmin watch was almost ready to intersect with the path it tracked earlier. 

Which was also a relief showing I was on the right track and my cardinal direction hadn’t failed me. Finally I saw the step over to get out of the field and it was 12:15. I was back to where I almost started and close to civilization again. I could see the i360 in the distance and I knew where Hove would be. I made my way through the last gate, taking pictures of a beautiful horse and then prepared to enter the modern world again.

I was grateful for my hike but I was tired and hungry. I walked down the hill I came up 4 hours earlier and was counting my lucky stars that it was down hill. I passed Hove Park and then took the footbridge over Hove Station signaling I was not far now from home. Finally I turned the corner to my street and did one last video entry and felt a sense of accomplishment but at same time all I could think of was a big burger and warm bath. I went for the latter. 

#devils dyke #easter hike #shenanigen travels

[writteninkat]

ix - inferior

word count - 2,269

warnings - slight mention of child abuse, mental trauma

"we'll paint it red to fit right in"

index

As Katsuki announces to everyone that he was going to win the festival and earning angry boos from the audience and students as a result, you can’t help but chuckle at the war-freak giving your class and you a scornful and smug expression. After which, Midnight announces the preliminaries of the festival.

You are now facing an obstacle race which was four kilometers around the stadium. As the narrow corridor closes itself on you all, you quickly use your speed quirk, making your way around the students in front of you. As you run past them, catching a glimpse of Shoto’s ice in the corners of your eyes, you stop yourself as the now frozen robot in front of you.

Shoto is already there, standing in front of you as you, a smug smirk on his lips. “Careful, that ice isn’t going to hold the robots for long.” And just as he finishes talking, the frozen robots begin to tilt, falling towards you.

Before you get smushed, you deploy your claymore, swinging it upwards, successfully slicing the robot in half. You jump up, easily slicing the robots that come near you with your thick blade. “That’s Y/n L/n! Apparently, she defeated a total of fifteen robots in less than ten seconds in the entrance exams! What a talented student you have, Eraserhead!” You hear Present Mic’s voice boom out the speakers.

You can hear explosions from behind you and immediately know your classmates doing well on their own. No, stop it, Y/n. If you start to worry about others now, you’re going to lose.

As you use your speed quirk behind Todoroki, gaining up on him, you see that the next obstacle had tightropes connecting one cliff to another. You quickly release your claymore, letting it turn into nothing but glowing sparkles as a nunchucks appear in your hands. You jump off a cliff, using the chains of your weapon and creating some sort of mini zipline as you quickly pass from one cliff to another.

You finish the obstacle pretty slowly and as you look ahead, you notice that there are already a few other students running in front of you. You decide to take back what you lost, using your speed quirk to run past them and before you know it, pink explosions are covering your view left and right.

The final obstacle- a mine field. None of the students know where the explosive but safe mines are buried so if you don’t have a flying quirk, you’re pretty much in the same situation as pissing of a woman during her period.

“It seems as if Y/n L/n is caught in a setback! Are your students just good at what they do in the first part, Eraserhead?” You hear Mic tease in the speakers, popping a vein. You push your knuckles together, creating your trusty fingerless gloves. “I think you underestimate us too much, sensei!” You yell, punching the ground. The pressure and strength from your punch causes the ground to shake and crack, setting off the other explosives. As pink smoke flies out of the ground, you use your speed quirk to run through them as other students as busy coughing out the smoke.

Your eyes are trained on the three boys in front of you, running towards the finish line. You sigh, not wanting to fight it anymore. You watch as Izuku finishes in first place, Todoroki in seconds, Katsuki in third and finally you, in the fourth place.

“You’re not that bad.” Katsuki says with a menacing grin as you shrug your shoulders, “You’re not pretty bad yourself, mister third place.” Your comment triggers Katsuki to start yelling at you at how he was going to make you eat your words.

Midnight explains the second event named the cavalry battle where the top forty-two qualifiers form teams of two to four people in order to earn points by stealing headbands from other teams.

The second you hear Midnight announce that Izuku’s headband was worth ten million points, you smiled, knowing that you now had to take that ten million points from him.

“Given that class 1A has an odd number of students, there may be a group of three or five members.” Midnight finishes before walking off the platform, letting the students create their groups.

Your first instinct is to look for the angry blond chihuahua but you’re suddenly crowded by students. Everybody around you starts asking to be your groupmate but a loud explosion causes them to turn around. “Back off- that idiot’s mine.” Katsuki growls, he himself is being surrounded by many other students. The way he worded it sounded wrong and given your history together, you didn’t want any of your schoolmates to misunderstand. “You mean your groupmate?” You ask, raising your brow.

Katsuki turns away, ears flushing a light red color before he nods, “Yeah- that’s what I meant.”

You squeeze your way towards him, placing your hands on your hips. “Y/n! Let me be in your team!” Mina waves her hand around but is turned down by Katsuki. “Fine, then Mina and I will make our own team.” You puff out your chest, about to pull Mina away but a familiar soft palm wraps itself around your wrist, pulling you back.

“Fine. Alien girl is part of us.” He grumbles, quickly letting go of your wrist when you smile at him. He proceeds to choose two more guys- Sero and Kirishima before the event starts.

“I’ll be here behind you. If anything goes haywire up at front, I’ll be supporting you.” You explain, running as soon as the signal goes off, commencing the second event.

As you all fight and work together to take others’ headbands, a blonde student from class 1B and his team runs past yours and your eyes immediately land on the headband he has in his hands as well as the smug expression he’s wearing.

“It’s foolish on your part to obsess about the preliminary round.” He taunts, “You’re kind of famous aren’t you? For being attacked by that sludge villain? It must be strange finding yourself becoming a victim.” One of his teammates usher him quickly but before they get away, you wrap Sero’s tape around your waist. “Pull me when I say so.” You tell him, giving him no time to react before you jump towards the group of 1B, using your speed quirk to get to him quicker. Before your hand could take the headbands around his neck, he pushes your forearm to the side, dodging you. “Pull me back!” You yell at Sero who quickly does as told before you could hit the ground and get your team eliminated.

You click you tongue, allowing Sero to take his tape off of you as you eye the smug blond- no, not Katsuki. Neito. You remember him now, you passed by their classroom when you went out to pee one day and saw him with his classmates.

What the hell is his quirk-?

Your question is quickly answered when his palms begin to glow- just like how yours did when you were about to deploy a weapon. A claymore began to appear in his hand and you feel something bubble inside you. You were upset, but with what exactly?With the fact that he had the upper hand? With the fact that he was able to copy your quirk? Or the fact that he was holding a weapon you treasured deeply- a weapon your mother had given you for your twelfth birthday? Whatever the reason was, you didn’t want to stick around to find out any longer.

“Hey copycat.” You call out to him, feeling your body run cold as you let neon blue stripes run down your limbs. “Give him back.” Your teammates are taken aback by the glowing blue of your eyes- they take a step back, feeling they should try to stay away from you. “Oh cool! Can I glow like you too?” Neito laughs, causing you to tilt your head to the side.

“You can, but only after you go through multiple quirk enhancing experiments. Oh, and I should mention this to you- they hurt quite bad.” To everyone else watching you, it looks as if you’ve disappeared without a trace. Your body appears to Neito’s right, causing him to rotate his hand that way, triggering Katsuki’s explosion quirk at you. The smoke clears up and Neito can’t help but furrow his brows- you’re not there. And most importantly- the headbands he tied around his neck are gone.

“You react pretty quickly for someone who’s stuck at with a class inferior to 1A.” You couldn’t control your words right now, it wasn’t word vomit nor was it you talking. Again. It was happening again. You let your anger run wild and now your quirk I talking- it scares you how it has a mind of it’s own.

Let me go! Stop controlling my body!

But don’t you want to win the sports festival? If you do then just let me go and-

No! I’m winning this festival without so much of your help. If I let you out multiple times, It’ll be like asking him for help.

Fine. But you cannot deny me forever. I am part of you ever since you got your quirk.

You were placed inside me. You’re not natural. Now let go of my body.

The neon blue lines disappeard from your skin and your eyes returned to the normal color they were. As you turn to give the headbands to your groupmatfs, they give you a mix of terrified and questioning looks. You sigh, “That copycat followed my after images.” You hand the headbands to Katsuki, “He was just too slow for blue.”

As Katsuki takes the headbands from you, he raises a questioning brow. “Blue?“ You press your lips together at your slip up, turning away and ignoring him as you start moving as a group again, hoping he’d drop the subject.

“That ten million points headband is ours!” Katsuki yells as you spot the white piece of cloth already wrapped around Todoroki’s head. Before the three groups clash, the cavalry battle ends, leaving your team at second place- just below Todoroki’s.

You and the girls of 1A change into orange cheerleader outfits given by Mineta and Denki. You had felt it was a bad idea from the start since it was Mineta who told you guys, and your gut told you not to listen to the personification of perversion itself.

“Yaoyorozu, Jirou.” You hear Denki call the two girls as you chew on your lunch, Mina following your gaze. “Uhuh? You need something?” Mom ask. “I’m sure you already know since you’re like a class rep,” Mineta turns around, pointing at the bunch of girls with cheerleader costumes on. “They said all the girls have to put on those cheer costumes for the big cheer battle this afternoon.”

You spit out the water you were drinking, coughing loudly as Mina helped you by rubbing your back. “We have to what?!” You yell, hand on your neck as you tried to soothe out the pain.

“That’s odd, it’s the first time I’m hearing about it. Are you sure?” Mom asks. “You don’t have to believe me if you wanna get in trouble. But this is coming straight from Mr. Aizawa.” Mineta says, in a matter-of-fact tone. “Thought you forgot so I thought I’d come remind you just in case.” The small purple boy shrugs his shoulders.

“But we don’t have the uniforms.” Mom sets her tray of food on the table, pouting. “Class rep- you don’t actually believe these perverts, do you?” You ask, placing a hand on Momo’s shoulder.

“Well, I’ve been too busy these past two weeks so I guess it must’ve slipped my mind. But we wouldn’t want to embarrass Mr. Aizawa by forgetting about this competition now, do we?”

Your jaw hangs at Momo’s obliviousness. In the end, she creates uniforms for everyone, a long sleeve skin-tight one for you to help cover up your scars. You sigh in defeat, asking for at least thigh highs since you weren’t comfortable with showing too much skin.

You throw the yellow pompoms to the ground, grumbling as you make your way back to the changing rooms. As you stomp your way angrily to them, you bump into Katsuki who has Kirishima right behind him. He studies your body from head to toe, raising a brow. “The hell are you dressed like that?” He asks to which you point an accusing finger at the pervert duo snickering behind you. “Ask. Them.” You say before marching to the nearest changing room.

After finally changing back to your PE uniform, sighing in content at how comfortable it is, you open your door to a Katsuki leaning on the wall beside it. “What are you doing here? Trynna sneak inside the room while I change? You a pervert too, Katsuki?” You tease to which Katsuki rolls his eyes at.

“I came here to tell you you looked fine in that cheerleader outfit but if I knew it’d lead to you being an asshole about it then I’ll just leave.” He yells, stomping away. You laugh, running after him.

“I looked fine? Is that your way of saying I look incredibly beautiful that you can’t help but stare at my face for the whole day?” You receive a ridiculous look from Katsuki who just scowl disappointingly at you before walking away.

“Hey! Come back here!” You yell, yet again, chasing after him.

#bakugou fanfiction #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugou x y/n #mha bakugou #bakugou bios #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x you #bakugou imagine #bakugou fluff #mha fluff #mha fanfiction #mha imagines #bnha fluff #bnha fanfiction #bnha imagines #my hero fanfic #my hero fluff #boku no hero fanfic #boku no hero fluff