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augustjustice · 2 years

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When Steve’s parents finally come back to Hawkins several months after the end of the end, they cut Steve off fairly quickly.

There have been rumors, you see, from the few of their friends still left in Hawkins. About the company Steve keeps, galivanting all over town with that Satan-worshipping murderer Munson. And when they finally arrive back at their large, cold house and Munson’s the one who answers the door, dressed in nothing but a pair of boxers and one of Steve’s old basketball t-shirts? Well, what their son has really been up to becomes all too clear to them, and, careful not to make a scene that the neighbors will hear, they find Steve and tell him that he’s out in no uncertain terms.

Not wanting either of them to get caught in the cross-fires of his dad’s anger, Steve grabs as many of his belongings as he can and goes without much of a fight, at Eddie’s insistence following his van in the Beemer all the way back to the Munson trailer.

Steve moves in with Eddie and Wayne. It isn’t even really a conversation; Eddie just takes it as a given fact, and Steve feels compelled to argue, but every time he starts Eddie cuts him off with a reminder that they’ve practically been living together anyway, shuffling back and forth between the trailer and Steve’s big empty house. “What, big boy, you gonna rebuff my advances now?” Eddie asks, teasing but laying on just a subtle enough guilt trip he knows Steve won’t be able to say no. He’s a pushover that way, always caves to the people he cares about. Eddie can’t help but love that about him.

They don’t leave Hawkins. It’s hell, sometimes, what with Eddie’s reputation, and the whisperings now that Steve no longer lives in the big Harrington house. But they saved this town from hell itself, and that makes them both develop a certain stubbornness about it. Plus, the kids are still in school, and there’s an unspoken certainty that Steve won’t leave until they do, even with the threat over and the Upside Down gone.

But the general atmosphere makes finding gainful employment hard. Eddie still has a few connections at the shop in town, Thacher Tire, with the folks who weren’t susceptible to the things other people said about Eddie to start with. They recommend him to the guys at a garage a few towns over about thirty minutes away. Not completely outside the scope of rural Indiana gossip, but distant enough most people don’t recognize Eddie right away, don’t put the pieces together between his name and the boy who was plastered all over the six o’clock news.

Steve, without making any mention of it, had quietly applied to Indiana Tech, certain he wouldn’t get in.

By some miracle, he’s almost certain, he does, enrolled with a declared major in elementary education. Steve hasn’t quite settled on what path he wants to take, mulling over teaching as well as guidance counseling, but it’s a start. It’s something. He transfers his home campus to the same one where Eddie’s new shop is and quits his job at Family Video, working there agonizing with Robin off at college.

Eddie picks him up off the ground and spins him around when he tells him, despite Steve’s laughing protests.

“I knew you could do it!” Eddie crows, triumphant.

“You did not, you didn’t even know I applied,” Steve argues, still laughing.

“Oh, didn’t I tell you, Stevie? I’m secretly a telepath,” Eddie taps the side of his head, grin wide and mischievous. “Can’t keep secrets out of this steel trap, I know everything.”

It’s Steve’s turn to tackle him in a playful hug, wrestling a minute before he pulls out his “winning move”: tugging Eddie by his belt loops into a kiss.

“It’s not even like it’s that big a deal,” Steve says once they’ve parted, shrugging. “Since it’s only part-time for now.”

He leaves the reasons why unsaid, but Eddie hears them loud and clear, anyway.

“Me and Wayne will chip in,” Eddie assures him.

“You don’t--that’s not--” Steve starts to argue, cut off when Eddie presses a finger against his lips.

“Can’t get rid of us now, Stevie boy. You’re family, now. Which means we’re in this together, right? Isn’t that what you always tell me?”

Steve huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. “I really hate it when you use my own arguments against me, Eds.”

Eddie grins, all-teeth. “I know.”

Steve opens his mouth again, and Eddie can sense the lingering guilt and shame in the line of his shoulders, the way he hunches in on himself as he no doubt to mounts another argument, trying to discourage Eddie further. That won’t do.

“Now you know how it felt,” Eddie cuts in gently, “when you used to offer to pay for shit all the time.”

“That was different,” Steve tries to insist.

“Oh, yeah?” Eddie cocks an eyebrow at him in challenge. “Different how?”

Without missing a beat, Steve replies, a bit of a grin starting to curl at the corners of his mouth, “Because, technically, I was stealing that money from my dad.”

Eddie can’t help but let out a bark of helpless laughter, any tension breaking.

So Steve accepts the “this is what we’re here for” argument, especially once Eddie makes clear Wayne won’t have it any other way, but he can’t quite convince Steve to bump up his status to full-time, not yet. Steve won’t let the Munsons pay his full way, is insistent he nail down a job, too, so they compromise with what they’ve got.

Steve looks for a job in downtown, not far from the school and Eddie’s work. There’s a beauty salon on one corner hiring and Steve figures what the hell? He hasn’t gone to cosmetology school, but he knows hair, and he’s gotten decent at doing Robin, Max, and El’s nails at sleepovers. Plus, he’s willing to learn, and that has to count for something.

His niche hair care product knowledge is enough to get him the job on the spot with the promise that he can apprentice a bit, learning as he goes.

Though it’s only part-time, the job turns out to be a perfect fit. Not only has he got the skills, but he’s friendly with a good personality and doesn’t mind indulging in a little small town gossip when it isn’t about him and his boyfriend. The clients quickly grow to love him, many starting to ask for him by name.

Steve and Eddie commute together, trading off who drives and saving on the gas money. The drive isn’t so far that they can’t drop Dustin and Max off at school on their way to the garage and campus respectively. (”At least until they get their licenses,” Eddie teases. “God, don’t remind me.” The mournful way Steve buries his face in his hands makes Eddie cackle.)

Their schedules keep things pretty hectic. They grab food together at the diner on main street during Steve’s free period and Eddie’s lunch hour. On the days Steve has night classes, Eddie hangs around the college library, using his boyfriend’s student ID to check out a few thick fantasy novels to keep him busy. The ladies at the salon all know Eddie by name from the times he’s been the one driving and picked Steve up, asking after Wayne when he sticks around to chat for a few minutes while Steve finishes up. When Steve has day classes and is free by early afternoon, he does his homework on the old leather couch in the garage’s lobby while he waits for Eddie to get off work. Sometimes Eddie finds him dozing off on the sofa. Sometimes Steve finds Eddie doing the same at a library table.

For the sake of safety, they’re discreet enough in public most people don’t catch on; Steve suppresses a snort every time one of Eddie’s work buddies has called Steve his “roommate.”

“Yeah, I’m some roommate,” Steve says drily later, when they’re alternating making out in the back of the van and splitting a joint between them.

“Best roommate I ever had, sweetheart,” Eddie leans in and catches Steve’s bottom lip between his teeth.

A few folks have cottoned on, however. One of the other mechanics is an old friend of Wayne’s from the war and their post-war protest days, and shares Eddie’s uncle’s stoic open-mindedness, asking after Eddie’s “fella.” The owner of the salon calls Eddie Steve’s “special friend” with a twinkling sort of knowingness, but she means well enough.

But, there’s other types of knowingness, too. Frankie, the middle-aged woman at the garage who gives the boys a nod with a twinkle in her eye on her way out when she catches Eddie practically throwing himself into Steve’s arms in the parking lot. Serenity, the punk stylist with multi-colored hair and piercings down her ear that mentions her own roommate to Steve with a Cheshire cat smile. Teddy, the shy 17 year-old taking classes while he’s still in high school with an eye on the cosmetology school who asks Steve if he can put in a good word for him at the salon.

“Did Robin tell you about that club they’ve got up at Emerson?” Steve asks one night over their dinner of cheeseburgers and fries. “The...GLA?”

“GSA,” Eddie corrects, “yeah, she told me. Gay-Straight Alliance, right? What about it?”

Steve hums, thoughtful.

“Maybe I’ll try to start one, next year. At Tech.”

There’s a delicate anxiety that ripples in the air between them, but there’s excitement, too, at the idea.

Eddie’s smile widens.

“That’s a great idea, Stevie.”

Friday nights are reserved for Corroded Coffin concerts, the boys rushing from work to the Hideout to make it in time for Eddie’s gig. The crowd is still modest, but growing, Eddie’s reputation, both tainted and reformed, a bolster that drew people in. “I mean, yeah, sure, but it’s the talent that got them to stay. Seriously, who could look away when Eddie’s the front man?” Steve is quick to insist whenever someone brings it up, hair teased and wearing his own band shirt proudly. By Saturday afternoon, the kids are all piled in around the coffee table for Eddie’s latest campaign, Steve setting out snacks and crowding around the table with them to watch, keeping up a commentary of snarky or confused asides just to rile Mike up. On Sundays, Steve cuts coupons at the Munson family dinner table, glasses he realized he needed a few weeks in to trying to make out the class blackboards slipping down his nose.

In between, he studies for long hours on the couch, determined not to mess things up this time. When he gets too tired, the words starting to blur on the page and his frustration becoming visible, Eddie will take the textbook from his hand and read it out loud to him, Steve tucked up contentedly against his boyfriend’s side.

Robin calls twice a week, spending at least an hour on the phone with Steve as she gives him the latest rundown on college life and how she and Nancy are faring. The rare times they all manage to be home at the same time, Steve and Eddie cook together, sharing a family meal with Wayne. They go to every one of Lucas’s basketball games they can manage, and Eddie has even made the special trip back to Hawkins to go alone when Steve can’t make it due to night school. His half butchered attempt to recount what happened afterwards always makes Steve giggle.

The following Christmas, Eddie buys Steve a pastel pink polo shirt he knows cost too much. Steve decides it’s the best piece of clothing he’s ever gotten, more aware of its worth than he had been of anything else hanging in his closet before. Eddie can barely get him to wear a coat over it even though it’s snowing outside.

They come together, like disparate pieces of a puzzle, to form this mosaic of a life they’ve built for themselves.

Steve thinks about it, one morning, as he watches Eddie pouring coffee into Steve’s ‘World’s Greatest Mom’ mug and Eddie’s own personal favorite, the one with the rainbow on the front. About picket fences and cross-country RV road trips with a gaggle of kids in the back.

This isn’t that, exactly. Not the life Steve had pictured for himself, clinging on desperately to a dream that comforted him when the world seemed dark. Certainly not the life his parents’ had wanted for him, if anything the exact opposite.

Maybe he’ll have the fantasy someday. Not the typical suburban nuclear family version of it, sure, but a version all his own.

And maybe he won’t. Steve wouldn’t trade it for this, anyway, even a second of it.

Because, for once, in his life, he’s happy. Tired, sure, and always unbelievably busy, but incandescently happy.

When Eddie turns and places Steve’s coffee in front of him, black with two sugars just the way Steve likes it, he catches Steve’s gaze. His eyebrows draw together at Steve’s expression, smile confused.

“What’re you staring at, big boy?” Eddie wipes at the corner of his mouth. “I got drool on my face or something?”

“Nothing,” Steve murmurs, still sleepy-eyed as he pulls Eddie down into a kiss, “just love you.”

“Yeah?” Eddie exhales the word against his lips, breathless like he still doesn’t quite believe it. “I love you, too, baby.”

Maybe they’ll move out of Hawkins, some day, when the kids finally graduate and scatter, follow Dustin to University of Chicago or wherever he ends up. Maybe they’ll take up an apartment near Nancy and Robin on the East Coast, or spend a summer with Jonathan and Argyle in San Fran, having a wild, queer time.

But, those are thoughts for the far distant future. For now, they’re happy. Safe. Satisfied.

Home.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #my stuff #my things #my writing #something something building a life for yourself against the odds in a small town in the 80s #it sounds angsty at the start but i promise this is happy #more impossibly long not!fic from yours truly

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jahayla-parker · 5 months

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Closure : Kaz Brekker x Reader

Description: 5.7k wc, Kaz’s wife seeks help from Nina to allow Kaz to get some closure surrounding Jordie’s death. Hurt-comfort, fluff, slight angst (turned fluff), healing.

Warnings: typical Six of Crows and Grishaverse warnings, mentions of death and funerals and related topics, mentions of trauma and injuries, etc. Again, typical SoC warnings.

Out of the corner of her eyes, y/n watched Kaz closely. She could tell her husband was trying to act as if it wasn’t impacting him. But y/n knew better. She could see the distant look in his eyes as he tried to focus on the numbers for the Crow Club’s books.

Kaz owned his family’s farm back in Lij; under an alias, of course. He’d always had eyes on the land even while he stayed in the Barrel. But once y/n was informed of the existence of the property, she had begun to take the occasional trip to the area to check on it for herself/themselves rather than relying on Kaz’s intel. Y/n often did these trips as part of a journey to visit the other crows. Y/n would always update Kaz to the state of the property once she returned home. Over time, she also began tending to the land in small increments; planting the seeds from Kaz for her favorite flower in the planter boxes she bought from a market in Ketterdam, sweeping the wind blown debris from the rooms of the little house on the property, etc.

Kaz had made the occasional trip back as well, but primarily relied on y/n’s detailed descriptions, stories, and analysis of their place in Lij. It was hard for him to go back; for many reasons. But, he couldn’t deny he missed it. He also couldn’t -though he certainly tried- ignore the way he felt when he and y/n were on the farm in Lij. It was uncomfortable in the sense that it was unfamiliar. But it was otherwise peaceful and homely. Not that it mattered. Kaz’s life was here; in Ketterdam, in the Barrel.

The couple had talked about moving at some point, but the conversation would always fade out when it came to what they’d be leaving behind. While most of their closest friends had all parted from the Barrel and Ketterdam entirely, there was still something -or someone- they’d be leaving behind. Jordie. Kaz’s late older brother who was resting under the cold harbor of Ketterdam.

While Kaz felt guilty for not being able to leave the area, he knew y/n more than understood his reasoning. Yet, that didn’t stop him from having to face his racing thoughts on the matter tonight. He felt as if his head was spinning. He wanted to offer his wife a comfortable life, a life in his childhood town, where she would be safe and free to do as she wished, where he might be able to put his past behind him. After all, he’d gotten his vengeance on Rollins. The only thing keeping Kaz here in the grungy streets of the Barrel -other than the easy influx of Kruge, which he could surely find a way to continue if he left- was his brother. It was foolish. Jordie was dead. He’d died long ago and he wasn’t coming back. Kaz’s staying here wouldn’t change that. Yet it felt wrong to leave the place his brother was, even if it was the same place that had taken that brother from him.

“I’m off to see Mila Jandersdat,” y/n said, breaking the silence.

Kaz smirked at the unnecessary use of Nina’s undercover name. “Is that so?” “Well, tell Ms. Jandersdat that she still owes me a new hat,” he commented lightly, referencing the one the Grisha had stolen on her last departure from Ketterdam.

Y/n laughed. “I’ll be sure to let the Fjerdan Prince know that their spouse is still indebted to you,” she teased, leaning down. Upon noticing Kaz didn’t react in a way that told her stop, she placed a kiss to his cheek.

Kaz looked up from his desk as y/n turned to move towards the door. He grabbed her hands in his bare ones. “Take my coat,” he instructed.

“It’s not that co-” y/n protested futilely.

“Take my coat,” Kaz echoed.

Y/n huffed lightly but nodded. “I’ll be back after the bakery, you’ll sure you don’t want to join?” She waited patiently for Kaz to answer. For the first time ever when asking that question, she actually hoped he’d say no. He usually did, and she hoped that was the case again today as she wanted to talk to Nina alone.

Kaz rewarded y/n’s kindness with a small but appreciative smile. He shook his head. “The ledger needs work,” he mumbled vaguely. In reality, he was just too in-his-head to handle anything else. He squeezed his wife’s hands faintly as he watched her depart.

Y/n swallowed another sip of her lemonade as she prepared to switch the tone of the visit she was having with Nina. She’d let her friend catch her up on everything she had done since they last saw each other. But now, y/n needed to ask her for a favor. “Okay, so…,” y/n began with an audible shift in her tone.

“Mmm?” Nina questioned knowingly as she glanced up from her plate.

“I need a favor,” y/n explained cautiously. She bit her lip as she waited for Nina’s reaction.

Nina sighed. “I don’t do Brekker favors anymore,” she reminded y/n.

“He’s not asking, I am,” y/n clarified. “Although he does want his hat back, or a new one in place of it,” she added to break the tension.

Nina laughed loudly. “Okay, if it’s for you, sure,” she accepted.

“I haven’t even asked,” y/n pointed out, “you don’t know what it is I’m asking you to do”.

“Doesn’t matter,” Nina winked.

Y/n giggled and shook her head with a timid smile gracing her lips.

“What is it?” Nina questioned, taking another bite of her cinnamon waffle.

“It involves your newly acquired skill set,” y/n mumbled quietly.

“Go on,” Nina urged, waving her fork at her friend.

Y/n bit her lip nervously and sighed. “I need nothing more than help to locate someone…” she explained, hoping to minimize the weight of her request.

“Someone deceased,” Nina clarified knowingly.

“Yes,” y/n acknowledged.

“Why?” The Grisha questioned as she swallowed another large bite.

“Closure…” y/n explained vaguely. She knew Kaz was needlessly embarrassed that he didn’t even know the exact placement of his late brother’s body in Ketterdam. Y/n had once suggested he visit Jordie to help him heal, even if he didn’t believe that kind of thing. Only, that was when she learned how deep Kaz’s guilt went. He didn’t know Jordie’s exact location and he blamed himself for that.

Y/n didn’t feel like she was crossing any boundaries. Nina already knew of Kaz’s brother; they all did by now. Plus, Y/n had asked Kaz before if he would want to know where Jordie was. In doing so, she learned he did want to know, just hadn’t initiated the process; an area where he often needed a push or assistance with.

It didn’t take long for y/n to explain to Nina what she needed from her. Nor did it take long for Nina to put her new skills to work in locating Jordie’s body. Y/n had of course gone with her, and she was pleased Kaz didn’t have to experience that part. While Nina’s skills were impressive, they were also a bit disturbing when you knew the deceased person she was calling out to. Nevertheless, Nina succeeded. Meaning y/n could now offer her husband the chance for more closure when it came to his past.

Y/n and Kaz were donned in matching black overcoats, walking with their elbow linked, as they made their way through the streets of the Barrel. Y/n had informed her husband of her discovery and offered for him to go alone or for her to go with him, leaving it up to him. Kaz didn’t directly ask her to go with him, but he made it clear that was what he wanted. So, the couple had departed from the Crow Club and were now watching as people parted to make way for the Barrel’s most powerful couple.

Y/n silently waited beside Kaz as he stood staring out at the water in the exact place Nina stated she located Jordie. It was clear he was trying not to get emotional, his eyes twinkling as he fought back tears. “You don’t have to do this,” y/n whispered supportively, “or we can break it up, I just thought maybe-”.

“No, it’s fine,” Kaz muttered shortly. After a few seconds of silence, he sighed. “You…” he began, trying to find a way to properly thank y/n for bringing him this chance. “I need to do this,” he admitted. “I should’ve years ago”.

Y/n shook her head. “That’s not how this works,” she defended.

The tears slowly trickling down Kaz’s face softened the intense sensation of drowning that filled his chest as he stared silently at the water where Jordie’s body allegedly was. The flashbacks that played in his mind were powerful, but less severe than they had been when he first started getting them years ago. And the now-comforting feeling of y/n’s hand in his kept him tethered to reality, to the moment; keeping him from succumbing to the feeling of drowning.

Y/n watched as Kaz kept his eyes closed for awhile. She didn’t say a word. She just watched his facial expression, listened to his breathing pattern, and kept a close eye on his overall state.

When he was done standing on the shore before his brother’s sunken body, Kaz turned to his wife. “Thank you,” he whispered shakily to her.

“Course,” y/n said, squeezing Kaz’s hand. She could tell he was still fighting off the rising water in his chest so she moved her hand to his jacket-covered elbow. “Let’s get you home,” she suggested warmly as she guided them back to the Slat.

“Th-” Kaz cleared his throat as he looked up from his dresser to make eye contact with y/n through the mirror. “Thank you,” he whispered gruffly. He took a long deep breath before adding, “for having me go”.

“Of course,” y/n hummed softly. She watched Kaz’s facial expressions in the mirror as she pushed her boots off with her feet. “So, it helped then?” She asked, trying to confirm she’d read through his faux stoic expression properly.

Kaz shifted his gaze back to his dresser as he stripped his outer layers off. “I know he’s gone,” he stated simply. But, his shoulders loosened and lowered as he nodded slowly. “But… yes, it did.”

“I’m glad,” y/n said and smiled tenderly as she crawled into their bed. She scooted under the covers as she analyzed Kaz as he prepared for the night. She could see that while it would still take time, today’s adventure had initiated a healing journey that hadn’t truly begun before now.

“You can tell Ms. Jandersdat that I don’t need a new hat,” Kaz mumbled as he approached the bed. He noticed y/n’s grin and small chuckle. He smirked and took a deep breath before he carefully slid into his side of the bed. “Goodnight, y/n/n,” he whispered as he uncharacteristically let his left hand cross the space between them under the sheets and rest atop y/N’s.

Y/n sighed as she searched the last possible place in the Slat that Kaz might have been. She’d already searched the Crow Club before she headed here. Yet, she still hadn’t located him. As she thought about where else her husband might have snuck off to, she thought back through what had transpired in the first place.

They had been sitting together in Kaz’s office this evening when he got word that there’d been an incident. One of his lead Dregs had informed him that this young orphan boy had somehow managed to find himself getting mixed up with Kaz’s crew. He hadn’t reacted well. The young orphan would be fine, but Kaz had set clear rules for his Dregs and this was a violation. He had stormed off to chew out his crew over the mistake. Y/n had been beside him as he lashed out at the Dregs and informed them of the sanctions for such an incident. Meaning she was there when he announced that as part of their consequences he was going to be taking their wages for the week. He’d grumbly whispered to her as he requested that she take the sum of their wages and ensure the boy’s hospital stay was paid for (and give him the remainder as compensation). When y/n had returned from doing so, she noticed Kaz’s disappearance.

Y/n knew as soon as they heard of the incident what Kaz would feel and how he’d react. She also knew why. The situation was far too familiar and personal for him. So, it hadn’t surprised her when he was not in the Slat nor the Crow Club when she arrived. However, it wasn’t until she remembered his behavior over the last several weeks that she realized where he must be.

Y/n buttoned her coat as she made her way to the harbor. She knew Kaz had to be there. It made sense when she recalled how often he’d been coming here since the day two months ago when she and Nina located Jordie. She had made a makeshift generic headstone (knowing Kaz wouldn’t want people to know the meaning or significance of the place much less connecting it to him) for the site so that if Kaz wished to return on his own he could do so easily; even if he was distracted by the emotional turmoil in his mind upon doing so. She and Kaz had went to the site together multiple times. And in the last few weeks he’d even gone by himself. It would make sense that today’s triggers would bring him back to the site that he now found some kind of connection and healing at.

Y/n saw him instantly. It didn’t matter that Ketterdam was pitch black at his hour and that Kaz was dressed head to toe in coal black clothing. She’d recognize Kaz’s silhouette and shadow no matter what. She watched him closely as she approached. He’d been getting better at opening up to her and even to himself since first coming here. But there was only so much he could do while staying stoic and keeping up his menacing image for the public. So it was no surprise that even tonight he was still keeping a wall up. He was shaking slightly, his breathing sharp and fists clenched. She could see he was still furious over what had happened, but the shine of the moon highlighted the fact his eyes were more moist than normal. It was progress, he was letting himself grieve finally. She debated about whether to approach or just say back and let him have his space. But, before she could determine what the best option was, Kaz answered it for her.

“You do not need to spy on your husband from the shadows,” Kaz muttered, his fists unraveling as he pictured the bashful expression that was likely gracing y/n’s face over his teasing comment. His back was to her as he stayed looking out at the harbor, but he heard her approaching. He extended the hand not holding his cane to the side, taking hold of her hand when she reached him. His eyes flickered over at her as he quickly scanned her to ensure she was dressed properly for the cold weather and had brought her weapon with her. After his eyes took in that she was wearing the thick winter coat he’d gotten her last year, long pants, boots, and saw the outline of her weapon in her coat pocket, he let out a silent sigh of relief. “It was a joke,” Kaz muttered as he watched y/n’s face.

“What?” Y/n questioned, her head turning to face Kaz.

“My comment, when you arrived,” Kaz explained. “It was a joke”. He squeezed her hand as he interlaced their fingers. “I mean, you don’t have to spy, but-”

“I wasn’t spying,” y/n argued.

Kaz lifted his brows teasingly as he gazed knowingly at y/n.

Y/n chuckled and shook her head. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be alone,” she explained.

Kaz hummed. “I always want to be alone,” he admitted, looking back at the water. “Especially when… feeling like… well… feeling,” he simplified. He shook his head as his gaze returned to his wife’s presence. “Unless it’s you,” Kaz confessed, his cold cheeks thawing briefly as he blushed madly.

Y/n grinned at Kaz and squeezed his hand. “I’ll keep that in mind,” she promised. It was an indirect vow to fight off any uncertainty on how to proceed when Kaz was dealing with something. But, they both knew what it meant. Kaz was healing, he was being more open and honest, more needing of and seeking out his wife’s love and support when he needed it instead of shutting down and trying to push her away.

“What do you think would help you get closure?” Y/n questioned once she saw the faint calmness take over Kaz’s face.

“This helped,” Kaz admitted, referred to y/n having gotten Nina to help find Jordie’s body.

“I know, I can see it,” y/n hummed as she tenderly smiled over at Kaz. “And, I’m glad”. Y/n rubbed her thumb over the back of Kaz’s hand. “I know you don’t have faith or a religious belief of any kind, but,” she hesitated briefly, continuing only as Kaz squeezed her hand, “do you think a burial might help?”

“What?” Kaz croaked out in confusion and shock. He wasn’t sure what he expected y/n to say as a possible solution. But, he’d never anticipated that.

“Burying him,-” y/n began cautiously.

Kaz stiffened as he glared out at the water before them. “He is buried,” he pointed out.

“Right, yeah, no I know, Kaz,” y/n agreed sympathetically. “But, you hate the harbor, and well, water,” she frowned, “even outside of this, it’s distressing for you”. She sighed as she gazed out at the water as well. “So I thought maybe… I’d suggest that you think about an underground burial for him”. Y/n knowingly moved her hand around in Kaz’s hold when he tensed so that he wouldn’t feel as if he was holding a cold & stiff hand. “You’d still have a place to visit him, and-” she explained slowly.

“I can’t,” Kaz told y/n, cutting her off.

Y/n analyzed her husband’s face as she thought over her next words. “You wouldn’t have to see anything,” she promised. She knew he’d never admit such a vulnerability out loud while they were out in the public, but she knew it was likely one of his hesitations; Kaz already had Jordie’s dead body engraved in his mind, he didn’t need to see it again. “It would be done in secret, in the background, just Nina and I, we’d handle the-” y/n elaborated.

Kaz suddenly sharply turned to face y/n. His anxious eyes scanned her face as he tried to read if she was lying. “You’d do that?” He asked.

Y/n nodded affirmatively. “If you wanted, yes,” she promised. “I’m not expecting you to want to see, touch, or otherwise deal with any of this, Kaz”.

Kaz nodded slowly. He turned from y/n as he thought about her proposal. After a few moments of silence, he shook his head. “I can’t.”

“Okay,” y/n replied, squeezing Kaz’s hand. “That’s fine,” she assured him. “I knew you might not want to, I figured I’d offer but-”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want that,” Kaz spoke sharply. He closed his eyes painfully tight and sighed as he regretted his tone. His regret increased as he noticed the way his wife paused. Kaz took a deep but shaky breath before continuing. “It’s just…” he sighed, “Lij”.

“What about it?” Y/n questioned delicately as she scanned her husband’s profile.

Kaz’s eyes flickered off the water and towards his feet. He sighed and shook his head. “That’s where we should be.” He lifted his gaze up to meet y/N’s as he added, “you love the house and-”.

“Kaz,” y/n sighed.

Kaz shook his head softly, a silent signal for y/n to wait for him to explain before trying to confront him. “I want to be there too,” he confessed, watching his wife’s face for her reaction. “For us to be there. Together.” He tried not to cringe at how broken his words were coming out. “Not just for a trip. But for our…h-ho-….” Kaz murmured in a hushed voice.

“Our home?” Y/n clarified. When Kaz nodded stiffly, she smiled softly. This too was a big step for him, in many ways. “I love that idea, you know that.”

Kaz broke his eye contact with y/n as she looked back out at the water. His face took on a saddened expression. “I can’t ignore what happened here or move on,” he said remorsefully.

“No one says you have to forget or ignore it,” y/n commented, squeezing Kaz’s slightly trembling hand. “If you wanted to do the burial,” she began carefully.

“If we did the burial,” Kaz sighed, “we’d still be stuck here or I’d have to come back”. He shook his head. “I mean not have to, but-”.

“Kaz,” y/n spoke tenderly in order to stop his rambling. “He could come with us,” she suggested.

“What?” Kaz whispered.

Y/n rubbed the back of Kaz’s hand with her thumb. “Nina and I could get him back to Lij,” she offered. “He could have a proper burial”. She hesitated but continued with her thought, “a funeral even”.

“No mourners, no-” Kaz griped.

“Kaz,” y/n giggled lightly. She smiled faintly as her giggle made Kaz’s lip curl. “This is different,” she explained.

“No funeral,” Kaz replied firmly. Despite his gruff voice, he squeezed his wife’s hand as a silent thank you for the offer.

“Okay,” y/n accepted easily.

“But…” Kaz trailed off.

“But?” Y/n pressed gently.

Kaz took a deep breath and sighed. “Perhaps.. I do owe it to him,” he began slowly. “To finally get him out of these waters”.

“Kaz-” y/n frowned.

Kaz sighed but nonetheless accepted y/n’s unspoken response. He revised his wording as he knew why he was being scolded. “I owe it to him… to let him rest,” he rephrased quietly. “Even if just his body”.

Y/n’s lips curled minutely. “Okay,” she nodded. “We can arrange that”.

Kaz’s grip on y/n’s hand tightened unconsciously as he thought about the arrangement more. “I don’t…. I can’t see his-” he mumbled.

“You won’t,” y/n promised. She knew he meant he couldn’t face seeing his late brother’s body. And she had never intended for him to. It was an easy promise. She and Nina would get Jordie to Lij for Kaz without Kaz having to be further traumatized in the process.

Y/n’s eyes flickered between the wooden door that lead down to the cabin of Inej’s ship and the wooden casket that was being loaded on board.

Everything from their home was already packed and ready to depart via Inej’s ship to travel to the other end of Kerch; to Lij. Everything but Jodie. Y/n had sequestered her husband Kaz below deck with Wylan and Jesper to keep him company. Meanwhile, Nina, Inej, and several clueless Dregs, loaded Jordie’s coffin onto the ship. The engraved dark mahogany casket with elaborate metal hinges and personalized engraved metallic plating that was now encasing and hiding Jordie’s body had been made by Jesper and Wylan at y/n’s request. She and Nina had seen to getting Jordie’s body from the harbor to the casket undetected. Well, Nina managed Jordie’s body and ensured there was no lingering contagion nor decaying smell. While y/n had been on lookout in the immediate vicinity of the scene. And now Inej was helping them transport the unlabeled casket to Lij. It had been a full team effort and y/n was beyond grateful that her friends were so willing to help her with this.

Once the casket was secured, hidden from sight, and covered with a weather proof sheet, Y/n dismissed the clueless Dregs. She thanked the girls as she made her way down to the cabin below deck. She gave Kaz a small supportive smile in greeting as his eyes snapped towards her upon hearing her enter. She made her way over to the boys and sat down beside Kaz.

Kaz watched y/n fight her visible exhaustion as their friends chatted about their respective experiences in their new lives. He stared expectantly at her profile, waiting for her to glance his way in a silent question as to if she could rest against him. Only, she didn’t seem to notice. Instead, Kaz watched her eyes blink at an absurdly slow pace as she tried to fight a yawn. He stifled a chuckle, the suppressed desire to grin showing up as a faint smirk. He shook his head and nudged y/n. Kaz gave her a knowing look, pleased when she quickly comprehended his request and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Ready to give all this up?” Y/n asked in a whisper as her friends listened to Inej informing them of her latest adventures.

Kaz seemed to falter in shock. But, as he looked over at his wife, he nodded confidently. A smirk graced his lips as he murmured, “I’m always ready”.

Y/n giggled and playfully rolled her eyes. She leaned into his shoulder further as she smiled around at their friends. “Hey guys,” she whispered, quietly interrupting the conversation. When they turned to face her, she was greeted with several grins and knowing smirks given her current positioning with Kaz. “Thank you all for coming to help us move,” y/n hummed.

“You both helped us during ours,” Wylan commented with a smile.

“Well, y/n did,” Jesper corrected smugly, “Kaz just stood around”.

Kaz shot Jesper a light glare. “I was supervising,” he stated.

Y/n laughed loudly, covering her mouth with her hand when Kaz’s gaze snapped down at her questioningly. She giggled behind her hand as she tried to stifle her laughter. She lowered her hand and gave Kaz an innocent grin, making the corners of his lips curl up as he playfully shook his head at her.

———

Y/n made her way back down to the lower deck of Inej’s ship. She’d just gotten back from checking on the burial site. Earlier she’d arranged for one of the workers who’d been tending to the farm while they were away due a grave site prior to the crows’ arrival. Y/n had ensured that it was completed and was now returning to her husband as he waited below deck.

Y/n’s eyes met Kaz’s and she then glanced arrived the room in silent communication with him. She watched as Kaz nodded in understanding and acceptance that the others in the room, namely Jesper, was going to hear whatever she was about to say. She nodded back and walked to his side. “He’s in a casket, Kaz,” she explained tenderly. Y/n spared a look at Kaz’s hands and realized he must’ve caught on to her uncertainty as he randomly flipped his palm up and extended his hand towards her. She gave him a small smile and took his hand in hers. “We’re going to move him to the burial site,” she explained slowly, rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb. Y/n had a feeling she knew the answer to her question, but she didn’t want to not offer him the chance. “Did you want to come up and,-?” She began quietly.

“No,” Kaz replied stiffly as his body tensed.

“You don’t want to watch him go into,-” Jesper began to ask, not noticing the look y/n was giving him.

“No,” Kaz repeated gruffly. His hand tightened in y/n’s hold and he shifted his jaw. He managed a deep breath when her warm hand squeezed his lovingly.

“I know it’s hard,” Wylan said sympathetically. “But, it’s the only time-,” he argued, squinting in confusion at the realization y/n was shooting daggers at him.

“That’s enough,” y/n stated firmly. She shot her husband a subtle sympathetic look. She squeezed Kaz’s hand again, her thumb grazing the back of it as she went to move. She nodded her head at the others in signal for them to follow her.

———

“That was really beautiful, y/n,” Inej commented supportively as their group made their way back to the farmhouse.

Y/n smiled appreciatively at her friend. She and most of the other crows had all gone with her to help her bury Jordie’s casket and body. She intentionally buried him beside this one specific tree she recalled Kaz previously telling her a childhood story about. It was one of the few childhood memories Kaz actually had. While it was likely a story Jordie had passed down to Kaz, given Dirtyhands would’ve been too young to recall anything from his time here on his own, that almost made the location even more sentimental.

While y/n and the other crows respectfully buried Kaz’s late brother, Jesper had stayed behind to keep Kaz company. Not that Kaz would ever admit to needing or wanting such, even now. But his crows, his found family, knew him well enough.

As the group entered y/n and Kaz’s new home, Y/n greeted Jesper with the same appreciative grin she’d given the others after they helped with the burial. “Alright, so,” she murmured as her black boots echoed on the tiled flooring under her feet. “I say we unpack the bedroom stuff first?” Y/n asked, looking at her husband for his input, knowing Kaz wouldn’t want to talk about what she had just finished doing.

“That’s important,” Inej agreed, quickly picking up on y/n’s intentions.

“I’d say so,” Jesper smirked smugly as he winked over at the couple.

Y/n rolled her eyes. “Not like that, you degenerate,” she laughed. “I meant so that we would have something to sleep in. We can unpack over time but I kinda would like something to lay on,” she joked as she took her husband’s left hand in hers.

“Lay on… while wearing what?” Jesper teased as he wriggled his eyebrows.

Kaz used his unoccupied hand to smack Jesper upside the head as he also shot him a look.

“Whaaat?” Jesper whined as he held his head. He looked between y/n and Kaz as she parted from Kaz as she made her way over to the moving boxes.

“What do you mean what?!” Kaz remarked, his eyes scrutinizing his friend.

“Wylan doesn’t care,” Jesper defended, rubbing the back of his head. “He knows I’m joking,” he laughed with a shrug.

“I don’t care,” Kaz remarked simply as he waved the comment off dismissively. “Don’t talk about my wife like that,” he ordered. From his periphery, he saw the grin that formed on y/n’s face as the title ‘wife’ left his lips. But his scolding gaze never left Jesper.

Y/n walked back over to the bickering boys and rubbed Kaz’s back through his coat. “You heard him,” she said as she smirked at Jesper before she passed by them with a box in her hand.

“Y/n,” Jesper groaned loudly. “Help me out, it was a joke,” he whined with a dramatic pout.

“You’re on your own, Jes,” y/n chuckled from the hall.

Kaz continued to stare as Jesper turned back around hesitantly. He stifled a chuckle as the sharpshooter gave him a faux innocent expression. Kaz shook his head as he brushed past him on his way to help his wife with the boxes she had been carrying.

———

“If you keep smiling so much Brekker, you might erase your hard earned scowl lines,” Nina teased with a smug grin as she watched her friends who were snuggled up on the couch in their new place.

The group had all been making playful comments about how happy Kaz looked. But, it hadn’t caused the man to part from his wife’s side. Instead, he just teased them back or lightheartedly glared at the remarks throughout the evening.

As Kaz turned to face Zenik, his eyes caught sight of window and he realized that it was now after dusk. “On that note, I think you should be on your way,” he murmured.

“Kaz,” y/n scolded with a laugh. She shook her head and tugged on his arm she had linked with hers.

Kaz chuckled as he gazed down at his wife. “What?” He questioned with pretend confusion.

“He’s just playing coy, we know he loves us being here,” Nina winked. “But, we probably should head out before it gets too late,” she acknowledged.

Y/n smiled at their friends as they gathered just outside of her and Kaz’s front door for final goodbyes. She quickly parted from her place at her husband’s hip as she went to give everyone a hug. “Thank you all, again,” she smiled. “Please feel free to come visit, anytime,” y/n offered, returning to Kaz’s side.

Kaz gently set one of his hands on y/n’s far hip once she was back beside him. “But, write first,” he said stoically, despite the playful glint in his eyes. “Otherwise, you risk finding yourself staring down the wrong end of a barrel,” he warned.

“We know, we know,” Jesper smirked. He and Kaz exchanged knowing glances as the group all said they goodbyes.

———

Y/n watched from the window of their new home as Kaz sat beside Jordie’s burial site marker. If he’d visited before today, she hadn’t seen it. But, she was proud of him visiting the area after having only been here less than a week.

The tree and connected burial site were far enough away from the house that y/n had to squint to see much of anything from this far away. But she didn’t need to. She was simply proud he was finally allowing himself to grieve the loss of his brother after all this time.

Y/n wasn’t naive. She knew there still had a long way to go. That Kaz still had a lot to work through. She knew it might be difficult along the way but she was happy they were here. Kaz could now rest. He’d exacted his revenge on Pekka and now he’d helped his brother find rest back home. So, while they’ll still earned some income from the club, Kaz could finally have a life that wasn’t not so hard on his injured leg or traumatized mind; one where he could find closure and peace. And he deserved that.

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call-me-strega · 5 months

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How to Become a Step-Dad in 5 Easy Steps: part 2 (chapter 1/?)

Here is part 1, lore

Edit: ao3 link now here

They do go to a library in this chapter so there are a lot of references to books in this chapter. I've read some but not all of them so I can say anything about their quality more than as things that I thought sounded interesting in theory. A lot of the stuff at the library was inspired by my own experiences with public libraries.

~~~

Step 2: Get to know them

Within the next 4 months Jason ran into Danny several more times. Each time becoming more and more enamored with the young man. It was hard not to when he saw how kind and hard-working he was.

The first time he ran into Danny after their first meeting he actually ran into Ellie first. Well, technically she ran into him but that's beside the point. But if you were gonna get technical about it he heard her little giggles before he saw her.

He had been at the library during some of his downtime to peruse some books and relax. The life of a vigilante crime lord isn't a very peaceful one, go figure. That's why Jason liked taking some time to himself every once in a while whether it was to have tea with Alfred, hang with one of his friends or siblings, or in this case visit Gotham Public Library.

Sure he could've gone to the Manor Library or gotten something online but the Manor was pretty far from the Alley and preferred having physical copies of his books rather than a computer or tablet. Electronics just didn't have that nostalgic book smell or the soft touch of a well-loved page.

Going to the library also came with its own perks. For one, he got to visit Barbie at work. It was always nice to see her as they had this unspoken solidarity between them. The atmosphere was also a plus. There was just something special about being able to be completely solitary yet still have this special connection to the other patrons. Seeing the old man enjoying a novel with his wife, the book club that met on Sundays, the haggard office worker winding down on the weekend with a graphic novel, the young woman teaching herself sign language, the teens goofing off while they were supposed to be studying, a mom reading The Kissing Hand to her kids, all of the various people here for various reasons; all of it made Jason feel like he was a part of something bigger.

He was currently browsing a display of LGBT+ books for young adults that the library had put up for Pride Month. '"Cemetery Boys", "Aristotle and Dante", "You Should See Me in a Crown", "Six of Crows", "Boyfriend Material", "Red, White, and Royal Blue", "Carry On", Oh- "The Song of Achilles" that sounds interesting?'

That’s when he felt a small chill pass behind him. He initially dismissed it as a draft from the air conditioner, but soon after he heard the sound of excited giggles nearby. He didn't think too much of it assuming it was another kid on their way out of the children's section. However, something niggled in the back of his head that this particular giggle was one he was familiar with.

That's when he felt something collide with his leg. He looked down to see a small child with a head of glossy black hair in a red beanie glomping his leg. Suddenly, the child looked up and beamed at him. Jason's eyes lit up with recognition and he laughed.

" Hey there munchkin, how are you?"

Ellie continued to smile, releasing her hold on his leg.

" I'm doing really good Mr. Jason! Daddy told me he didn't have any work today and he said we could go anywhere we wanted! First, we went to the bodega a got these really big breakfast sandwiches! Like really really big! Like the size of my face and we shared! And then Daddy took me to the park and it was really fun! I saw a squirrel there but it ran away before I could pet it! And then we came here and Daddy said we'd make me a library card so I could get whichever books I wanted. He read Oh The Places You Will Go and Where the Wild Things Are to me and then they were gonna have story time and Daddy looked tired from the park so I told him to read one of his space books and rest while I went to story time like a big girl! When story time was over I looked around and saw you so I came over to say hi and thank you for the cookies and food because daddy says we should always say thank you when people give us gifts!"

Damn, the girl sure had one hell of a motor mouth on her. It seemed she and Danny were in the middle of a father-daughter day. It brought a smile to his face to see that she was well taken care of, but based on her very informative rambles, it seemed they were taking care of each other.

" Why don't we go say hi to your dad, huh Elle?"

The young girl gasped, "That's a great idea! Then Daddy can say thank you too! And then you can read with us and come to our house for dinner! Daddy kept saying how he wanted to make something for you too since you made us the-, the- uuh... luz-on-ya and cookies!"

" Whoa there munchkin, how about we just start with hi?"

Ellie nodded with a determined look on her face, she wrapped her little hand around his pointer finger and pulled him along to the semi-secluded corner of the children's section. Sitting there in an armchair next to a small pile of books was Danny, who seemed to be out cold, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy slipping from his fingers.

'Aah he must be tired from moving in and probably from working too' Jason thought to himself. A smaller voice in the back of his chimed in with its own two cents. ' He still made time for her. He took her out and is spending the whole day with her even though he's tired. He's a good dad.' That's when he made up his mind not to disrupt Danny's nap and let him get some rest before he had to tackle the rest of his father-daughter day with his hyperactive six-year-old. He placed a hand on Ellie's shoulder, stopping her as she was about to shake Danny awake, and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

" It looks like you were right about your dad being tired. How about we let him rest for now and I'll say hi another time? Besides I wouldn't want to interrupt your daddy-daughter day now would I?" He started to guide her to a different portion of the library quickly forming a plan, "Hows' bout we do something I think you'll like? Did you know sometimes they bring puppies and kitties into the library?"

The young girl gasped, " REALLY!"

" Yeah, sometimes puppies and kitties can help people who are feeling sad or nervous feel better. They also help teach kids how to act nicely and quietly so that they don't scare animals by letting them read to a puppy or kitty. I can help you sign up to read to a puppy or kitty today if you want? Then afterward, you can go tell your dad and he'll be really proud of you."

The young girl seemed so excited by the prospect that Jason worried for a second that she might explode.

" That's a great idea Mr. Jason! He'll be so proud of me and he'll bring me again! And I'll get so good at not scaring animals that the squirrels in the park will let me pet them! Then, Daddy will be so impressed that he'll let us get our own puppy and Cujo can come live with us!"

Jason winced, perhaps his plan had been a tad too effective. Single parents had a hard enough time keep themselves afloat while looking after their kids, a pet was extra expenses and another commitment to devote time and effort to. Pets were usually out of budget and out of question for anyone living in or near the Alley.

Well, he'd cross that bridge if he ever got to it. For now, he focused on getting Ellie signed up to read to Charlie, the old St. Bernard that was at the library this today. He and the trainer, he squinted reading her name tag, Amanda, supervised the session. Jason would be lying if he wasn't endeared by the sight of a young girl reading Dragons Love Tacos very enthusiastically to a dog nearly twice her size.

" It's nice to see a young father spending time with his daughter."

'I agree' Jason thought before realizing Amanda thought he was Ellie's dad.

" Oh- ah no I'm her -," Jason quickly made up his mind on the least creepy excuse he could find, " -babysitter. Although, her father does make a lot of effort spend time with her."

The dog trainer flushed and apologized for her mistake but Jason waved her off saying it was no big deal. Silently, he wondered how often Danny got time to himself. When he realized what he was thinking he raised an eyebrow at himself before dismissing it as worry for a young parent and wondering how he divided his time to be able to take such good care of his daughter.

Ellie was saying her final goodbyes to Charlie when he got a text from Alfred reminding him he had promised to meet him for tea and some chitchat. Once Ellie returned to his side he let her know that he had had fun seeing her today but that he had to go spend some time with his granddad and that he'd have to say hi to her dad another time. She accepted this with a surprising amount of maturity for a 6-year-old but made him pinky-promise that he'd definitely spend some time with the both of them next time they saw each other. Jason happily accepted and sent her back off to her dad before heading over to the tea shop he and Alfred liked to meet at.

" It is so nice to see you again Master Jason. I'm happy to see arrive in one piece. Usually when you are delayed it is due to some rather -ah, unfortunate hold-ups," Alfred greeted him. He returned the smile, sinking into his seat across from Alfred, ready to unload.

" Not this time Alfie, though it is a bit of a story."

" One I'm sure you'll be pleased to tell me all about," he challenged, raising an eyebrow. Jason just shook his head and chuckled.

" Sure thing Alfie."

The next time he ran into Danny and Ellie he was at the grocery store.

Jason had been examining a piece of zucchini when he felt a light, cool breeze quickly followed by the sensation of someone walking past him. A lean figure came and stood nearby inspecting the squash. Jason glanced up, having registered a new presence, before doing a double take. A small grin graced his lips as he spoke,

" Well hey there neighbor, didn't expect to see you today."

Danny looked up, slightly startled before he saw that it was Jason. He smiled back and returned his greeting in a warm tone.

" Hey neighbor, I didn't expect to see you either. Honestly, I was hoping we wouldn't meet till I had made a batch of my family's signature fudge to give you as a thank you when we returned your dishes for the food and for looking after Ellie that day in the library."

" Ah~ the little munchkin told you bout that did she?"

" She was pleased to inform me about how she was learning not to scare animals and how Mr. Jason was sooo nice and even pinky promised to spend some more time with her." he teased.

Jason flushed slightly, his hand coming up to the back of his neck,

" Oh yeah, I hope I didn't overstep my bounds there. She just seemed so excited."

" Yeah, that sounds like my little spitfire!" he chuckled fondly. He took a deep breath and continued. " Well if you don't have anything else going on tonight I'd love to have you over. Ellie has really been looking forward to seeing you again and I can whip up some fudge that you can take home with you if you stay for dinner?" Danny seemed to flush at his own forwardness before rushing to continue, " I mean- not that you have to, especially if you're busy! I just- thought it might be nice to get to know my neighbor, especially since Ellie seems to like you so much! But-"

Jason, who had just finished processing the dinner invite, interrupted before Danny spiraled deeper into his nervous rambles. He place a hand on Danny's shoulder to get his attention and spoke,

" Sure. I'd love to come over Danny." He smiled, puffing up his chest, “ Besides, I have a pinky promise to fulfill.”

Danny returned his smile with a laugh, giving Jason's shoulder an embarrassed shove. Jason grinned at having successfully made the other laugh. The two stared at each other for a beat, coming down from their high of making each other laugh, before flushing and looking away. A look of realization passed over Danny's face and he turned to speak to Jason again.

" You probably have your own groceries to finish and put away. How about you come over around 7:30? I can have the fudge cooling in the fridge while we eat, oh which reminds me, you’re not allergic to anything are you?"

Jason smiled back. "7:30 sounds great Danny and no, no allergies as far as I’m aware, though I’m not particularly fond of most shellfish."

“Well alrighty then I’ll see you at 7:30,” Danny confirmed with a smile and rushed off to continue his own shopping.

And that’s how Jason found himself standing outside the Nightingale residence in a casual maroon 3/4 sleeve tee, a dark denim jacket, and some of his nicer trousers with a bouquet of flowers he put a frankly embarrassing amount of thought into. He figured bringing more food wouldn’t be appropriate since he was a dinner guest, dessert wouldn’t fly either as Danny had claimed he’d be making fudge, and wine didn’t seem appropriate with a 6-year-old also in attendance.

‘Come on Jason, it’s just a casual dinner with your neighbors! Normal human interaction, nothing to be nervous about! You can do this!’

Jason took a breath and knocked on the door. He heard a pitched squee followed by a “it’s him daddy!” come from behind the door. Unconsciously, Jason smiled as he heard the door unlocking. As it opened he was met with a cool breeze from within the apartment and the sight of his two neighbors. Danny was in a pale, moss green apron, smudged with what appeared to be powdered sugar, over a pale blue button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and cuffed jeans. Ellie was dressed in an interesting combo of pink crocs, neon green leggings, a sparkly, powder blue tutu, a white shirt with glittery black script declaring her “Daddy’s little princess”, a denim jacket embroidered with flowers and vines on the back and sleeves, and a plastic tiara with a big purple gem in the middle fixed atop her signature red beanie.

“Hi,” Danny greeted a bit breathlessly. His young daughter stood in front of him beaming up at Jason.

“ Mr. Jason you came!” She bounced excitedly on her heels before launching forward to hug his leg. She tugged at his jacket before pointing to her own, “Look! We match!”

With a smile, Jason got down on one knee and offered the flowers to her, “ And what an honor it is to match with such a beautiful princess! Please, accept these flowers as a token of my goodwill m’lady!”

“Thank you!” The girl giggled, accepting the bouquet and scurrying back into the apartment. Jason watched her go with a smile. He then turned his gaze to look up at Danny who watched the whole interaction with a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. He met Jason’s gaze and smiled.

“Why don’t you come in too my good sir,” he teased, holding out his hand to help Jason up. Jason smirked at the opportunity Danny had unknowingly presented him. He took Danny’s hand but made no move to get up. Instead, he ran his thumb over the other man’s knuckles and slowly brought the hand closer to his face. He glanced up once more, teal eyes connecting to icy blue ones.

“Of course my dear king,” he whispered. His breath dancing over Danny’s hand, his lips ghosting over his knuckles. Maintaining eye contact, the kneeling man placed a gentle kiss on his knuckles, watching a beautiful red flush bloom upon the young man’s face.

‘His hand is cold. His fingers have the beginnings of callouses on them. It feels like his hand was made to fit in mine. This feels right’

Jason is snapped out of his reverie when Danny clears his throat. He coughs into his other hand while trying to hide his blush, averting his eyes in embarrassment. He doesn't withdraw his hand however, allowing Jason to continue to hold it. Jason took that as his sign to get up before this got too awkward.

He rose from the ground still not letting go of the other's hand. The pair stood there for a moment with their hands intertwined, as if a message was being passed through their tingling palms. A charge filled the air with an exhilarating tension. The kind you feel before trying something unfamiliar and new that, unbeknownst to you, will become your favorite.

“So, uh, let’s head in then?” Danny said, slowly withdrawing his hand from Jason’s, almost as if he was reluctant to do so.

“Let’s,” Jason replied and the two turned into the apartment.

Danny had Ellie show Jason to the bathroom so he could wash up as he set the table. He had made grilled squash, a macaroni and beef hotdish, and some Greek salad on the side. The three of them sat at the table making some small talk ( how are they liking it in Gotham, how did the rest of daddy-daughter day go, does Jason have restaurant/activity recommendations, would he like to see Ellie’s favorite model airplane, etc.) and laughing with each other over horrible dad jokes and Ellie’s antics.

Jason could feel his chest fill with an almost unbearable warmth. He would’ve sworn it’d have melted him from the inside out if it hadn’t been accompanied by an overwhelming feeling of joy and desire. The traitorous little whisper in his head returned to comment on how much he’d love to be a part of the Nightingale’s family.

Soon enough it was time for Ellie to head to bed and Jason to head out, lest he be late for patrol.

“Here, I can clear off the table while you put her to bed.”

Danny rushed to stop him despite the young child koala wrapped over his torso. “Oh, you really don’t have to do that. I can-”

“Relax your highness, let me take care of this while you put the princess to bed.” He gave Danny a kind look, hefting up the dirty dishes. Danny returned it with a grateful look and turned to go put his daughter to bed. Over his shoulder, Ellie looked up sleepily and weakly waved one last time saying “Goodnight Mr.Jason” in a small voice.

Jason smiled gently at her and replied, “Goodnight princess.”

He then turned back to his task of clearing the table. Moving the dirty dishes to the sink and the serving dishes to the counter. He figured he’d get started on the dishes while he waited for Danny to return. He let his mind wander as he covered a plate with soapy suds. Danny and Ellie seemed like a good pair of neighbors. He doubted they’d cause him any trouble and if they ever unintentionally did, Jason found himself thinking he’d find it rather easy to forgive them. The two were both so welcoming and full of life. They made Jason feel so happy and peaceful tonight. They welcomed him into their home and made him feel as if they enjoyed his company and wanted him around for more than just a cursory “return the favor” dinner. ‘As If he belongs there. With them.’ The little voice returned, prompting Jason to reel in his thoughts. He’s only known them for what? Two weeks? These weren’t the type of thoughts he should be having at this point. He tried to rationalize it telling himself he just missed the domesticity of family dinners like he had when Catherine was in a good stretch or like he had with Bruce, Dick, and Alfred as kid when they were all getting along. He made up his mind to attend one of the bi-weekly family dinners at the manor coming up. It’d be nice to see the little demon brat, big bird, and nerd bird again now that they were getting along like actual brothers.

“Oh! Jason you didn’t have to do that!” His train of thought broken by Danny rushing over to protest him doing dishes. “You’re a guest! You really didn’t have to-”

“It’s okay Danny, I wanted to,” he reassured the fussing young man who pulled him away from the sink. The young man responded by pushing him out of the kitchen and telling him to grab his jacket before turning back to grab something from the fridge.

And there he stood in the doorway, 20 minutes after he had intended to leave, still saying goodbye. Danny pushed a familiar Tupperware container into his hands, which recognized as the one he had given them lasagna in, now full of dark squares of fudge sprinkled with a bit of white and green on top.

Danny smiled as he handed him the sweets. “A family recipe with my own little twist on it,” he winked. Jason gratefully accepted, wishing the young man well and agreeing that he hoped to see the other again soon. And with that, Jason rushed off hoping that he wouldn’t be late for patrol.

~ Later that night Jason returned to his apartment, exhausted. He chucked his helmet off onto the bed and stumbled to his kitchen. He pulled open the fridge in search of something to eat when his eyes landed on the fudge his neighbor had given him. He pulled it out and grabbed a square, giving it a sniff before biting in. His eyes widened at the taste.

The fudge was, well fudgy, but not overly sweet. It had a richness of dark chocolate and a sweeter note from the white chocolate chips mixed in. There were also candied orange peels mixed into it which gave the fudge a bit of chew and acidity to break up the richness. The fudge was topped with pistachios adding a nutty, earthy flavor to the experience. He’s sure that if Martian Manhunter ever tried these he’d accuse Jason of giving him hard drugs. But what Jason liked most of all was the quality only homemade food and family recipes passed down over generations have. He could practically taste the amount of love and thought that went into this fudge.

Jason smiled to himself finishing off his square and decided the save the rest for later. He headed off to bed with a peaceful smile on his face and a warm, full, feeling in his chest.

~~~

I tried very hard to balance out the dialogue and description as well as to not make it too long winded and keep the story moving so please let me know what you guys think. I love receiving feedback so if there is anything you want to see more or less of let me know. I’m also open to suggestions of where Jason should run into our father-daughter pair next.

If anyone's interested here is what the bouquet was comprised of: apple blossom- preference, basil- good wishes, white camellia- you're adorable, goldenrod- encouragement/good fortune, violets- watchfulness/modesty/faithfulness

I actually looked up a real fudge recipe so that I'd have and easier time describing it. You can find it here: https://www.midwestliving.com/recipe/candy/creamy-rich-pistachio-tangerine-fudge

#long post #like Long long #dead on main #jason todd x danny fenton #dc x dp #How To Become a Step-Dad in 5 Easy Steps #How to Become a Step-Dad #hbsd #romance #fluff #domestic fluff #falling in love #single dad!danny fenton #de-aged!dani #books & libraries #family dinner #jason todd #danielle fenton #danny fenton

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sarahreesbrennan · 3 months

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sorry if you have already answered this, but are we getting any queer rep in Long Live Evil? 💕 i am super excited to see what you've cooked up for us either way!

I came back after I'd gone off on one, seeing the post had struck a chord and being thankful but fearful of my inbox. Let me say with delighted surprise that all the asks are very kind.

Thank you for this one, sweet anon. I am so excited and so nervous about my best beloved, Long Live Evil, and about coming back with a new book of my own after so long, when I believed for a long time it was hopeless.

I'm really grateful to find readers waiting for me. But I know readers are naturally more invested in characters they know: I extremely appreciate you taking an interest in the future.

So, short answer: YEAH you are!

Long answer: Long Live Evil wouldn't exist without its queer narratives.

C.S. Pacat and I were talking in our virtual Brookline Booksmith event recently about our favourite Disney villains. C.S. Pacat picked Maleficent, a fine choice. I picked Snow White's Evil Queen. We agreed we loved most of them.

Here's the relevant excerpt I was quoting in my last post from Carmen Maria Machado's In The Dream House, saying 'I think a lot about queer villains, the problem and pleasure and audacity of them.' Well... me too.

I think many of us have experienced feeling made wrong in some way - for not wanting what society said we should or being what we were expected to be - and that one step along that journey of discovery is going 'Okay, if it's wicked, I'll just BE wicked.' And that's part of why those characters appeal - because they seem free, and free of pain.

But modern storytelling isn't confined to coding, and audiences can now feel free to expect, not the certainty, but the possibility characters who aren't introduced as such still might actually turn out to be LGBT+. The essays I've read about Supernatural, Teen Wolf, Sherlock, Ted Lasso, Fox 9-1-1... I think the latest argued Jaime Lannister was bisexual. (Pretty persuasive.)

I remember reading the Raven Cycle going 'oh? OH.' I remember being at a writing retreat in 2013 and running through the halls screaming about Nico diAngelo. Ten years later we got a Nico diAngelo book co-written by Rick Riordan and the amazing Mark Oshiro. I watched Red, White and Royal Blue with a friend and she said 'honestly I hope the guys get together, but...' and I (having read the book) silenced myself with a herculean effort and watched her hopes come true. I didn't know about The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo and almost dropped the book in a swimming pool. But I've also read and watched many things thinking, just maybe... oh, no. Still that hope existing is meaningful, the thought that if the story had gone differently, if this revelation had happened, if this realisation had happened, if, if, if...

Long Live Evil is a story about the story going differently and asking yourself questions about your own nature, and the escape to fiction of those who really need escape. The book is based on that 'if,' and the 'if' itself is joyous, and brings me back to the idea of gleefully transgressing the narrative that much villain love is based on.

It's also an ensemble story with a rogue's gallery of characters and multiple PoVs. (I was much inspired by the Six of Crows ensemble.) So it isn't about any one character's romance, and by the book's nature there exist many possibilities. A critique partner read and said 'I didn't know you were going THERE' and I responded 'Should I?'

I've never been one to confirm where stories are going, and I won't do so now. I'm not talking about any one character or telling you a direction.

I'm just saying yes to rep. It's baked in.

#long live evil #supernatural #teen wolf #fox 911 #lgbt reads #six of crows #evil queen #maleficent #red white and royal blue #the raven cycle #in the dream house #cs pacat #percy jackson

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lazywitchling · 4 months

Text

The Three-but-actually-Six Card Spread

I vote that we call this one Schrodinger's Spread, because I don't know whether I'm gonna draw three or six until I've already pulled the cards.

So, I used to try to do the usual three card spread. You know the one. Every tarot book lists it as Past Present Future, unless you have a quirky deck, and then they've probably rebranded it as something else. You can find lists of three card spreads with different questions to ask. IT'S A WHOLE THING. There's like. a whole three-card-spread industry or something. But anyway: it always confused me.

I am absolutely not a tarot expert. I put down three cards, and then I can stare at it for an hour going "I have no idea what this means." The standard guidebook keywords float through my head, but I wasn't sure how to make an actual READ out of that.

I started following @unhelpfultarot, who is anything but unhelpful. Seeing the daily two card pull and the way that the two cards are connected into (usually) a single sentence made the lightbulb come on. "Oh THAT'S how you do it!" So I started just reading two cards at a time, but as a single unit, like Lenormand. And once I got a handle on that, I started adding the third card back in. Then I'd have two pairs of cards to read! 1>2 and 2>3.

Well, at some point, I was like "Hey what happens if I put a card down below those three, and used that as a sort of connection-between-them card?"

So now it looks like this:

1 2 3 4 5

Where "4" is not its own answer, it's just what connects 1 and 2. The same thing for 5: it just connects 2 and 3 without being its own answer.

WELL, then I'm looking at that, and I said "Hey, now I've generated another pair, so I can lay down ANOTHER card to connect those two!

1 2 3 4 5 6

"Hey, Jes? That's... that's a six card spread..."

Shhhhhhhhh. Who asked you.

"Crow did."

Hush, imaginary reader.

Anyway, so now what I've got is the original read, the three most important cards, 1 2 3. And btw, this whole thing is usually to answer ONE SINGLE QUESTION, because-- actually, @windvexer explains it better than I can here. (HEY. YOU. DON'T SKIP THAT LINK, ACTUALLY CLICK IT, THANK YOU.)

So what I have now is one question that is answered by a sentence (1-2-3), with two cards that don't tell me NEW information but that tell me what each pair is saying to each other (4 and 5), with a final one that's sort of a TL;DR card (6).

"Jes. That is a six card spread."

CORRECT, and as @upthewitchypunx and others have said, if I were charging money for this, yes absolutely this is a six card spread, and you're not getting it for 50% off.

BUT HERE'S HOW THE WHOLE THING HAPPENS IN A REAL WORLD SCENARIO

I pick up my tarot deck. I think "I'm going to do a three card reading." I pull three cards, lay them down, read. If they make sense, cool, I put them away and move on.

If I get confused though, then it's upside-down pyramid time, and I'll lay down the other three. This either results in "Ohhhhhh okay, THAT'S what it's saying," or I confuse myself EVEN more (which is very easy to do).

In that case, it's still living in my head as a three-card-spread, because that's the important part that I'm actually reading. But if I set out to pull the inverted pyramid from the get-go, then it's a six-card-spread.

This is where I'm legally obliged to put PREMEDITATED in all caps for @friend-crow

My joking answer, which wasn't FULLY a joke, is that nothing I do is premeditated. I don't MEAN for there to be six cards, but here they are now, and I've got more important questions than "is this still a three-card-spread or is it now a six-card-spread?"

At that point it's like the tarot equivalent of "Is a hot dog a sandwich" and would just trip me up when I'm just trying to eat a hot dog. The answer is "WHO CARES! I got things to do."

(@asksecularwitch 'cause you also had thinky thoughts about all this, and I wanted you to see the upside down pyramid!)

#schrodinger's tarot spread

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another-lost-mc · 1 year

Text

The Date [Part 2] | KARASU x gn!Reader

2k words | SFW | Fluff | Developing Relationship

Content warnings: Cute first date! Protective/teasing Lucifer, lots of fluff with a bit of awkward flirting.

Feathered Friends AU: [Part 1] [NSFW Part 3]

obey me masterlist | karasu masterlist

You’ve gone on dates before, so why are you so nervous?

No, it’s not even a date. It’s dinner - a casual, friendly dinner with Karasu.

So what if you talk to him every day, or if he visited you at the House of Lamentation twice this week? You’re still not sure how you didn’t notice he left his tie on your desk, but he looked so happy to see you when he came back for it the next day. He even brought a box of pastries from Madam Scream’s for you to share with everyone.

When you mentioned to Lucifer last night you wouldn’t be home for dinner, he didn’t seem the least bit surprised when you said you were going out for a totally normal dinner with Karasu.

“It’s not a problem, is it?” you asked him. Lucifer seemed surprised at first when you told him who you had plans with, but then his look became contemplative.

“No, not at all. I’ve seen him at formal gatherings in the past, but he’s not known for being sociable.” Lucifer tapped his chin. “But I suppose there are worse demons you could be interested in. He might do a better job keeping an eye on you than my brothers have been.”

“I’m not - it’s not like that, we’re just -” you sputtered as your cheeks grew warm. It didn’t help that your D.D.D. suddenly pinged with a new message, and you resisted the urge to check to see what Kara-what the person wanted.

Lucifer’s amused smirk didn’t help matters, but he waved you out of his private study. “Go on, it seems that your not-a-date requires your attention.”

Karasu promised he would meet you at RAD and take you to dinner afterwards at Hell’s Kitchen. He originally offered to make reservations at Ristorante Six, but you balked at his suggestion and requested something a little less formal (and expensive). You can’t help but glance down at your RAD uniform, wrinkled slightly from a busy day of classes and following the demon brothers around while they got up to their usual antics.

Your hands are clammy and you feel like you’re sweating through your uniform. You try to smooth down your jacket and wonder if you have time to go home and change quickly, but Mammon suddenly nudges your shoulder. “Hey, what’s with the crow?”

Your eyes shoot up and you see Karasu standing near the campus gates. His outfit is a bit less formal than you’re used to; he’s still wearing a suit, but his tie is gone and the top buttons of his shirt are undone. He looks - he looks so -

“Good evening,” he greets everyone smoothly as your group approaches him. He meets your gaze and a small smile spreads across his face. “I believe my friend and I have reservations at Hell’s Kitchen, but it was nice to see you all again.”

Lucifer stops in front of Karasu and they exchange a few hushed words you can’t hear. Some of the brothers snicker (and you think the disgruntled rumbling comes from Levi) when Karasu shakes Lucifer’s hand like this is some formal meet-the-parent thing. It’s not that big of a deal! It’s dinner, and–

“I expect you’ll escort them home at a reasonable hour,” Lucifer drawls quietly. His voice interrupts your flustered inner monologue, and there’s an amused glint in his eye that you know is meant to make you squirm under his scrutiny.

Karasu doesn’t seem to get the joke, but he nods solemnly anyway. “Of course.” He turns to you and holds out his arm. You hesitate only for a moment before you link your arm with his and try to stamp down the wave of shyness fluttering in your belly. Lucifer steers his brothers towards home, and Mammon’s nosy protests - yo, where are they goin’?! - fade away.

When you’re finally alone, Karasu offers you a beaming, genuine smile. “Shall we?”

You’re not sure what to expect when Karasu escorts you to dinner. Hell’s Kitchen can be rambunctious during the evening service hours, but he planned ahead and reserved a corner booth near the back of the dining area. Not only does it offer you a bit more privacy, but it’s not as noisy, either. You both look relieved when you take your seats and finally relax.

Karasu has some difficulty picking something off the menu. He bites his lip when he concentrates on skimming his options on the menu - it’s kind of cute. “I’m afraid I don’t eat out often,” he admits bashfully while he flips through the pages.

Eventually he settles on a salad of Devildom greens, seeds, and something cooked extra-rare. It doesn’t take long for your dishes to arrive; he hums happily after his first forkful of food. He asks how you’re enjoying your own dish, and he shyly accepts a bit of your own entrée when you offer it to him.

Conversation flows slowly but comfortably between bites of delicious food. Karasu asks you about your classes, your new computer, and how things are going at the House of Lamentation. You tell him about a book you borrowed from Satan that you’ve been reading and that Beel has been helping you try new Devildom foods and drinks. He seems pleased the brothers are opening up to you more than they were before.

“And how have things been with Leviathan?” he asks curiously, looking down at his plate.

Huh. “Fine, I think? He asked if I wanted to borrow a game he bought off Akuzon. He said he didn’t like it but he couldn’t return it because it was used.” Now that you think about it, he hasn’t insulted you in a couple days. Maybe he was going through a rougher adjustment period than his brothers were after your arrival?

Karasu looks thoughtful while he chews his food. He’s silent for a moment, and the smile he offers you is wide and shows a hint of teeth. “Good,” he says, nodding towards your nearly-empty plate. “Are you still hungry? You can order something else if you like.”

You laugh and shake your head. “Who do you think I am, Beel?”

But Karasu’s smile is teasing now, and he pretends to look around for the server so he can order more food for you. You shake your head and put your hand on his to stop him from calling someone over. He startles a bit at your touch, and his eyes are wide with surprise when he turns towards you.

“I’m not hungry. Well, mostly.” You bite your lip. “Maybe we can split a dessert?”

Karasu doesn’t like sweets very much, and everything on Hell’s Kitchen dessert menu is loaded with more sugar and chocolate than he would enjoy. He doesn’t want to ruin the mood, so he hands you the dessert menu and watches you flip through the pages excitedly. He figures he can stomach a forkful or two of dessert for you, if it’ll make you as happy as you are now.

Dessert isn't such a horrible disaster after all. Karasu doesn’t realize that he crinkles his nose when you read off all the chocolate-laden dessert options from the tiny menu in your hands. He seems intrigued when you find a fruit salad option that comes with various dips on the side, and you order that for both of you to share.

You sip your water and let him pick some of the fruit pieces first; you’re curious to see what he likes and what he avoids. He skips over the chocolate dip entirely and slides the small dish across the table to you. You both giggle happily when you each eat your fruit and realize how ridiculous you’re being.

When the server comes to the table to collect your dessert dishes, they lean towards you and say in a mock whisper, “The bill’s already been paid.” They nod toward Karasu and wink at you before they walk away.

You look down and reach into your pocket for your wallet. You’re determined to pay for something tonight - the dessert, your drink, the server’s tip - because you’re not sure you want to get your hopes up and assume this perfectly normal dinner between two friends is anything more than that.

The offer dies in your throat when you meet Karasu’s gaze. He’s resting his elbows on the table and his chin is sitting on his folded hands. His eyes are so warm and fond, and there’s that little smile of his - the one that seems reserved for you, the one you never see him use with anyone else.

He knows what you’re going to say, and he shakes his head. “Maybe next time,” he murmurs, but you both know it’s a lie. His eyes darken the longer he stares at you, and your cheeks heat up - suddenly, you can’t bring yourself to care when he looks at you like that.

As promised, Karasu walks you home before it gets too late so Lucifer doesn't start pestering you about your whereabouts. You’re full from dinner and dessert, and the earlier feelings of nervousness are replaced with satisfaction and contentment. You talk quietly about mundane, random topics - but more often than not, you simply enjoy each other’s quiet company.

Your arms brush against each other when you walk, and the first few times your fingers touch, you pull away nervously. You glance at him from the corner of your eye to try and gauge his reaction. Eventually, you both glance at each other at the same time, and his grin is just as shy as yours. You make the impulsive leap to finally lace your fingers together with his; he looks straight ahead, but he’s still smiling and his hand squeezes yours. Neither of you speak as you approach the House of Lamentation, but it finally feels like you don’t need to.

When you’re both standing outside the front door, Karasu rocks back and forth on his heels - a rare sign of nervousness for him. “Thank you for joining me tonight,” he says politely, but his voice is a bit lower now, and it feels more intimate than the times he speaks to you in public with others nearby.

You’re learning so much about him, but…

“Kay?” you say his name nervously. “Was tonight a date?” You’re so certain that it was, but that little voice full of self-doubt is telling you not to get too ahead of yourself.

He frowns and he looks down at your hands that are still locked together between you. “Well, yes, I thought I made that clear. Was it not obvious?”

A bit of nervous laughter bubbles out of you and you shake your head. “I wanted to make sure I wasn’t misinterpreting things. You’re…” Thoughtful? Wonderful? Too handsome for someone as plain as me? “...you’re amazing, and tonight was perfect. Thank you.”

He’s not smiling at you anymore, but his eyes are glossy and shimmer like deep ruby pools you could drown in if you’re not careful. His eyes flicker between yours, and he glances down at your lips. Your breath hitches with anticipation, but you’re just as surprised when he brings the back of your hand to his lips and brushes a kiss there. It’s a soft, sweet gesture, but it feels like more. You let your fingers detangle from his when he finally steps back.

“Sweet dreams. I’ll speak to you tomorrow,” he promises.

You open the door and step inside after you wish him goodnight one more time. When you slip inside and the door closes behind you, Karasu disappears in a gust of wind and flurry of black feathers.

You walk to your room in a daze. You have enough sense to let Lucifer know you’ve returned home safely, but you ignore his other prying questions while you get ready for bed. Karasu only sends you one more message to let you know he arrived home safely and he hopes you sleep well.

You trace the back of your hand with your fingertips and bring them to your lips, and you think about the possibility of next time as you finally drift off to sleep.

#obey me karasu #obey me karasu x reader #karasu x reader #obey me oc #obey me oc x reader #obey me x reader #my oc: karasu #x reader #gn!reader #series: feathered friends

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relatableblorbopoll · 5 months

Text

Round 1 of preliminaries, group 6

The first two places get a place on the bracket

Little reminder: there will be 2 more rounds of preliminaries, the losing blorbos of this poll still have 2 chances of getting in the official bracket

propaganda under the cut

Jesper Fahey (Six of Crows)

No Propaganda

Crowley (Good Omens)

"He's gender. He's been in love with one guy for literally 6000 years and then royally fucks up his entire confession. He yells at his plants. He drapes himself over every fucking surface he sits on. He walks like *that*. He just fuckin makes sounds sometimes. He's me fr."

Dave Strider (Homestuck)

"everything that can be said about Dave's relatability will probably sound redundant, clichéd, or overdone if you are at all familiar with tumblrs sort of blorbo culture. this is exactly why he should be in this tournament.

stop me if you think that you've heard this one before: he hides his genuine emotions behind a persona, deflects sincerity with jokes, but also has a deep desire for validation and connection, so that his persona has many cracks where little bits of his true self slip through. deeply insecure, compares himself to others. a defeatist streak, avoids responsibility. does not wish to be troubled by The Horrors. he just wants to hang out and do his lil creative hobbies (making music and drawing comics). talks a lot to the point of being pretty awkward, rambling, and accidentally saying stuff he shouldnt.

all these things I think tend to resonate deeply with a lot of people, especially on Tumblr - that "person who is insecure and struggles with emotional openness so copes by making jokes" sort of trope, it's just like kin bait (affectionate). he also has a complicated relationship with gender which I know many find relatable (shout out to the "Dave homestuck was my trans awakening" homies) but whether it's about figuring out gender or sexuality or trauma or the apocalypse or anything else, Dave comes at it with an initial, learned, fear and reluctance that I think a lot of people have experienced, because it's very human and very much a part of many readers experiences (we live in a society). but he's always good, and likeable and that makes for a very important sort of relatable character. very comforting. even if he's a mess and he's an idiot you can believe he can get to something better, and you can watch him develop and grow.

also, I think he's extremely relatable because he never really knows what's going on in the comic either. I mean, that's gonna be relatable to most people Vis a vis homestuck. he's confused and he just wants to vibe and make his friends laugh. WHO AMONG US cannot relate?? I do not believe you if you say no.

I wrote too much and got way too weird about it. I'm sorry it's late I'd edit down but I really don't have the brain capacity.. which is very Dave core of me actually"

Junior (Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race)

"i relate to him a lot because his whole character is being embarrassed of his dad who tries too hard to be cool, but still loves him anyways. that is literally me"

Kim Dokja (Omnicient Reader's Viewpoint)

"kim dokja. oh kim dokja. so, without going into spoilers too much, kim dokja is very much a character you are expected to relate to and it makes the novel DEVASTATING. here's just a few things about him: - he is obsessed with a particular piece of media, and finds comfort in it when real life doesn't give him any. he's constantly thinking about it and defending it and trying to recommend it to other people (even though no one else bothers reading it, because it is an objectively bad 3000-chapter webnovel). even beyond that one novel, he's been using fiction as an escape for just about his entire life, something that rings true for a lot of people, especially in the modern world. - he struggles with socializing with other people. the first chapter alone gave me so much second hand embarrassment. it's so real but god it's So bad. he has zero friends and has that sort of loneliness where you're miserable but you can't really bring yourself to feel anything but resigned to it. in general he is just very Resigned to his unfortunate life and can't fully understand or accept it when it finally does get better - he has a complicated relationship with his mother. it's the kind of relationship where the parent genuinely does love their child, but they fail to give them what they need & have to accept that they hurt their kid and that they cannot be the most important person in their life. it's certainly not a universal experience but those sorts of parent-child relationships are woefully common but scarcely acknowledged -the insecurity. god there is so much insecurity in that man. it's hard to even completely tell it's there at first, because it's so ingrained in how he thinks that you don't question it until you know more about his character and suddenly it's all too apparent. he cannot believe that he can be loved (or, if that he can be, that they certainly would not be able to love all of him, only what he chooses to show them), and is selfless but like. the literal meaning of the word, where he will throw away all of his being for the people he loves. in general there is a lot of sacrifice as a love language which like. while i'm not off around throwing myself in front of magic death beams for people or anything i sure would give up everything i could if it meant helping the people i love - ok enough of that. here's some funny things i can relate to. the guy meets his favorite fictional blorbo and instead of worshipping him instead he bullies him constantly and internally complains about how unbearable he is both in the book and in real life. it's like a "i love my blorbo. i would not last 2 seconds in a room with him." You know. he gets so caught up in his fanon characterizations and biases about characters that he completely mischaracterizes them like constantly. he literally kills a guy half because he was his least favorite character. -this is a poll about blorbo relatability. therefore i must mention that kim dokja too related to his blorbo (or at least attempted to) and what is more relatable than that. anyways. kdj made me realize far too much about myself and is by far the most i have ever related to a character (and i Hate it). and tumblr would definitely relate to him too so :thumbs-up:"

"(SPOILERS) He is literally all of us. Reader. Just some guy. And then insane tragic backstory. But he’s also just some guy. He’s special and also just a guy. He’s also god. He can be shipped w anyone. He has versatility and interests and motivations. He also never tells anyone anything ever. He is so me."

"He reads a trashy, long-ass novel as a coping mechanism and doesn't think he's capable of being loved. Bro dissociates when he's emoting too much."

"I'm a homestuck fan, a Dave Strider fan even Never heard of Omnicient Reader's before Voted for the kim fellow because judging by the propaganda it looks like he himself would be a homestuck reader therefore making him more relatable than the homsetuck character himself"

"This guy’s been my companion since I was 11, I’ve grown up with Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint and I think that’s pretty funny since he grew up with Ways of Survival (the 3149 chapter novel) and therefore I’m straight up mirroring him. I, too, scare everyone off by being too enthusiastic whenever the webnovel is brought up! His insecurities are severe but I do see myself in some parts of him (which is worrying but whatever.) He is absolutely The Guy Ever. Utterly pathetic wet cat of a man. I love him. He represents the crazy fandom tumblrina in all of us."

Donutella (Tokidoki)

"she's made of donuts basically like me at this point"

#tumblr tournament #tumblr polls #character bracket #character tournament #preliminaries #jesper fahey #six of crows #crowley #good omens #dave strider #homestuck #junior total drama #total drama #the ridonculous race #kim dokja #omniscient reader's viewpoint #donutella #tokidoki

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ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes · 1 year

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The Phoenix and the Crow

part eight

pairing: (hinted) kaz brekker x fem!reader

genre: netural... maybe a tiny bit of angst?

el's thoughts: supriseee part eight!! i still can't believe i've written this much so far haha i love this part cause of y/n and zoya! i hope y'all like it too! please remember to leave comments and reblog :)

masterlist

A knocking on the thick wooden door of her room startled Y/N as she was splashing her face with water from the wash basin. “Yes?”

“Downstairs now. Your country needs saving.” Kaz’s voice was muffled through the door. Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed in curiosity, “I’ll be down shortly.” She finished getting ready and tied her hair up before leaving her room and walking downstairs. The moment she spotted Kaz and Nina sitting at a table with two others whose back was facing her, she froze. She’d recognize the back of that head anywhere.

“Zoya Nazalensky. Well, I’ll be damned.” The inferni could feel the dramatic eye roll she received in return as she walked to the table. “Old friend, how are you?”

“Y/N L/N. Thought you’d be six feet under by now.” Her tone held a biting sting to it, but the inferni knew her too well to take it seriously.

“Always a pleasure, Nazalensky.” She pursed her lips in faux disdain before breaking into a smile.

Nina looked between the two etherealki with a wide smile, “Oh it’s like we’re in the Little Palace all over again. Isn’t this nice?”

Kaz’s glare didn’t lighten up as he glanced at all three grisha women with the sharpest side eye Y/N had ever seen. She moved to stand behind the Heartrender and placed her hands on her shoulders. “So what’s this I hear about my country needing saving?” She shot a quick teasing glance to Kaz before directing her attention back to the topics at hand.

Zoya cleared her throat, “We need you lot to get us the Neshyenyer.”

Nina scoffed, “The Neshyenyer? Sankta Neyar’s blade?”

“So, you haven’t completely forgotten what you were taught at the Little Palace.” The Squaler leaned back in her chair with her arms folded in front of her. “Just your loyalty to Ravka.”

“Ravka? Or Kirigan?” Both older grisha stiffened at the name. “It didn’t take him destroying a city for me to question my loyalty.”

Y/N pulled back at the sharp words that fell from Nina’s lips. She knew she should’ve run far before Alina came to the Little Palace, and she was ashamed to say how long it took for her to finally think over her loyalties.

Jesper cleared his throat, “So, now that we all know that you two have history, what’s the payment for this job?”

The Shu man finally spoke, “Name your price. It matters that much.”

“Who are you?” The inferni questioned.

“Toyla Yul-Bataar. Member of Prince Nikolai’s personal guard.”

Nina opened the letter handwritten by the prince of Ravka himself. Everyone looked over her shoulder to read it.

“Is that the Lantsov family crest?” Wylan asked.

“You know it is because it’s hideous.”

Y/N snorted but collected herself quickly.

“Prince Nikolai requests your services to retrieve and deliver the Neshyener to Alina Starkov in East Ravka.” Toyla said.

Nina looked up, “She’s returned?”

“As has the Darkling. With an indestructible army of shadow monsters.” Zoya stared directly at Y/N as she spoke.

“I don’t like the sound of that.” Jesper took another sip of his drink.

Y/N shook her head in denial, “That can’t be. We saw him in the Fold. Zoya you were there, he-”

“We didn’t see his body. He’s back, Y/N and he’s stronger now. Or so he seems to be with these new puppets of his. That’s why Alina needs the blade to kill them. It’s the only thing that might work.”

Toyla spoke, “Retrieve the blade and the Prince will pay whatever you ask.”

“I like the sound of that.” Jesper downed the rest of his glass.

Zoya turned from the zemini to Kaz, “I assume the same goes for you?” He nodded, “I’d welcome the chance to help your prince spend his country’s money.”

“I don’t need kruge. I need to get someone out of Hellgate. The Lantsovs, they must be able to pull strings with the Kerch government.” Nina vocalized her thoughts.

“For a certain Fjerdan?” Zoya’s tone held a smugness to it. She smiled, “He must be quite the slab of fur.”

Toyla stepped in, “The offer is the offer. Prince Nikolai is a man of his word.”

“But we need to go now.” Zoya’s voice turned assertive.

“It’s settled,” Kaz folded his arms, “We’re in.”

“And your Wraith?” The squaller asked, “I was expecting to see her.”

“She’s gone.”

“No, she’s not. Not yet. She’s-”

“Not an option.” Dirtyhands threw the sharpshooter a glare, ending the discussion then and there.

“The Neshyenyer at Ahmrat Jen is definitely a fake.” Kaz limped towards the group standing around the bar. Zoya rolled her eyes, “Which we told you. Perhaps now you tell us something we didn’t know?”

“According to my contacts, it’s been stolen by a thief known as The Disciple. He had a penchant for stealing Saint-related relics while on jobs.”

Y/N hummed, “A thief and a collector.”

“And retired.” Kaz made eye contact with her briefly. “But he has since put a few pieces of his collection on the black market.”

Toyla nodded, “So, to get to him, we go to his fence.”

“Ohval Saran. She has a tea shop in Bhez Ju. To speak to her, we’re going to have to order yellow chrysanthemum tea, off menu.”

Nina turned to the shu and repeated the type of tea in his mother tongue. “It pairs well with sesame rice cakes.” He told her. Nina smiled, “Let’s discuss.” She walked to him, “Tell me more.”

Kaz shoved passports into Wylan and Y/N’s hands before walking to Jesper and Inej.

Zoya placed a hand on Y/N’s arm, “You look ill, L/N. Don’t tell me you’ve been holding back on your practicing now.”

The latter sighed, “If only you’d’ve known what we’ve been up to. I haven’t had the chance to use my power lately. I didn’t think it was that noticeable.”

“It wouldn’t be to just anyone, but I’ve seen you at your strongest. No one else here could say the same now could they?”

The inferni smiled, “I’ve missed you.”

“It hasn’t even been a few weeks since you saw me last.” Zoya rolled her eyes fondly, “You’re just dramatic.”

“Only for you, my love.” Y/N threw a wink at her as she got up to go pack her things.

Shu Han was a colorful city, always bright and full of light. It was a stark difference from Ketterdam and Y/N was loving it. Walking the streets she could smell all the different street foods and incense floating through the air.

Toyla walked to an altar that had candles and burning sticks of incense. Inej, Zoya, and Y/N followed shortly, all wishing to pay their respects to their lost loved ones. Toyla said his prayers in shu and the girls just knelt before the altar.

“When the fold moved, your aunt…” Nina sat down beside the squaller. Zoya avoided her gaze and that was all Nina needed as an answer. “Zoya, I’m so sorry.”

The suli shook her head, “Who here hasn’t lost someone?”

Both Y/N and Zoya leaned forward to grab the burning sticks and held them to the flame, saying their prayers.

Kaz, Wylan, and Jesper stood at a distance watching the others perform their religious rituals in patience. That only lasted so long before Kaz walked to the four girls still kneeling. “You two, we have a teatime to make.” Nina and Inej quickly stood, following Kaz down the street.

Y/N’s eyes strayed to follow the all-black silhouette before it got lost in the crowd.

“So, Brekker?” Zoya stood and dusted her skirt off, waiting for Y/N to rise as well. The inferni looked at her sharply, “I don’t know what you're talking about. I hardly know the man.”

“You don’t have to know him to fancy him.” Zoya nudged the y/h/c-haired girl as they walked from stand to stand looking at all the foods and sweets.

“I’ve been with these people for hardly a few weeks now, Zoya.”

“But he’s caught your eye, yes?”

The lack of response caused the suli to snicker. “Well, once this war is over you’ll have plenty of time to get to know him.”

Y/N shook her head, “Who said I’d be going back to the Barrel? You brought it up yourself, loyalties. Ravka is my home. She’s my country, and I’ll serve her till my dying breath.”

“You’ve done beyond enough for Ravka and you know it. No one would blame you even now if you decided not to fight or come back home. You need to go and make a life for yourself. You above anyone deserves that.” Zoya rested her hand on her friend’s shoulder.

“I’m not the only one who deserves peace. I would blame myself for not helping my country. I don’t do anything to meet the expectations of others, you above all people should know that by now.” Y/N turned her head and saw Toyla waving them over to where he was seated. She smiled and nodded before turning back to Zoya. “I’ll think it over though. Making a life for myself, that is.”

The two grisha walked to the table Toyla sat at. “What are we watching?” Y/N followed his line of sight to see Jesper and Wylan talking at a firework stand. He chuckled, “Jesper attempt to get his man back.” Zoya rolled her eyes while Y/N hummed.

“Toyla?” Wylan walked over calling for him, “Toyla could I get your help?”

The inferni stood on her tiptoes and looked over to Jesper mouthing ‘What happened?’ To which he just shrugged, his shoulders dropping in defeat.

The group got up to keep walking around, all looking at different stands and carts that piqued their interest. Someone shoved into her back, she turned around to tell them off but noticed the familiar black silhouette continue his way down the street, stumbling into people with every step.

Y/N quickly followed after him, threw herself into his back to stop him in his path, and wrapped her arms under his, around his chest, pulling him into her. He thrashed in her arms as she moved him to a more secluded section of the crowded street. She released him quickly and backed away, giving him space.

Kaz was breathless as he curled into the wall behind him. Y/N watched him carefully making sure he was alright and noticed his lack of gloves. He turned his head enough to look at her for a split second before he flinched farther away from her causing her to back up slightly and nod to herself. “I’ll be back.”

He barely heard her voice over the panic and buzzing in his mind. Flashbacks of his brother and the bloated, rubbery skin of the corpses plagued him as he tried his hardest to get control of his breathing again. His bare hands clutched the metal head of the cane, holding it tightly against his side as he slid further down the wall. His shoulders ached while the wall dug into his muscles painfully. His lungs burned from the uneven rapidness of his breath. He tried calming it by breathing in through his nose, keeping his mouth shut but that only caused his body to falter and panic more. He closed his eyes and twisted the cane between his hands feeling the metal and wood beneath his fingertips.

He didn’t notice Y/N’s return till he finally opened his eyes and noticed that she placed his leather gloves beside him, making sure to keep her distance from him. Not sparing her a glance he picked up the gloves and held onto them for dear life, feeling as if he could finally take a proper breath. “Did Inej-”

“She followed Ohval Saran.” Y/N kept her voice low in order not to startle him again.

“And Nina?” His eyes started to clear and he was beginning to gather his senses.

“She’s fine. She’s with the others.”

He nodded and took a deep breath before looking over at the girl beside him. She looked paler than when he first met her, her fingers thinner. Overall she looked weaker. She’s a grisha. He couldn’t recall a time when she used her power since the bomb in the accounting office. He took a mental note to assign her some role so she could use and practice her power again. Despite her physically looking weaker, her eyes never let go of the same kindness that they held from when they first met. Her y/e/c-eyes sparkled with concern and care, but they didn’t smother him, making him want to push her away. No, instead he was drawn to it, and that terrified him. Never before had he felt so comfortable and relaxed in the presence of someone he didn’t know. Never before had he felt the need to constantly look over and make sure that person was alright or just simply to admire them from a distance.

Kaz couldn’t exactly place a name to what he was feeling, but he had become a master at controlling his emotions and he will learn to rein this one in one way or another.

“Ohval’s not just a fence. She’s The Disciple.” Kaz sat at the table in the center of the room with Wylan and Zoya. Nina lounged, fanning herself, on the couch with Y/N while Toyla stood next to them and Inej sat on a stool behind Zoya. Jesper closed the doors to the room for privacy.

“What… What tipped you off?” Wylan asked.

“Her tea cup. When she set it down, she did so without a sound.”

“And her heartbeat never fluctuated once. It held at one beat a second like a clock.” Nina sat up straight causing Y/N to lean closer and fix her skirt.

“So, she can control her heart rate and her emotions.” Toyla held out his bag of walnuts to the two grisha on the couch, each taking one.

“Those are useful skills for a thief,” Wylan noted.

“Now’s the part where you tell us where the blade is.” Jesper spoke cooly as he leaned on the wall closer to Inej.

“Ohval has it. Her signal to the waitress to spill tea on me told me as much.” He clutched his cane a bit tighter. “It’s as if I know you.” The zemmini smirked. Kaz ignored him and continued, “And if she’s not going to sell it to us, we’ll just have to take it. After Nina and I ordered the tea, I had Inej follow the tea shop employee who was sent to notify Ohval.”

“She lives just outside the city. When she stopped at the tea shop, she placed an order at the apothecary that she’ll be picking up tonight. I watched her home for a while and no one came or went except her.” Inej said while twirling her butterfly knife between her fingers.

“So, while she’s out of the house, Nina will tail her to make sure she stays out of the house. The rest of us will go in and grab the blade.”

Once Kaz finished speaking Zoya scoffed, “You don’t seriously expect me to break into this woman’s house.”

“Uh, why do you think we’re here?” Jesper asked jeeringly.

The squaller turned around in her seat to face him, “I’m a soldier, not a thief. Why else would I need you, criminals?”

Y/N chuckled, “There’s much less of a difference there than you think.”

Zoya rolled her eyes and said, “I’ll go with Nina.” Making the heartrender choke on her snack and quickly clear her throat. “Are you sure you don’t need me?” She asked Kaz. “I mean, Zoya can tail Ohval.”

“Nina and Zoya will wait for Ohval at the apothecary. Follow her. If she starts heading home, buy us some time. Distract her.”

~*~

taglist:@rachelcarroll1819 @xcharlottemikaelsonx @khaleesihavilliard @simrah1012 @foulkryptonitepeanut @astridyoo15 @queenofshinigamis @peakyispunk @jahayla-parker @maliciousbrekker @brekkershadowsinger@winstonthecow22 @lee-says-things@bunneex@writingmysanity@sleepynightchild @madnessinwrighting @romanticvampire if there is a cross through your url.. i couldn't tag you, sorry!

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x y/n #six of crows #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagines #shdow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagines #ellora.writes #fic: the phoenix and the crow

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voidinmexx · 18 days

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SIX OF CROWS COLLEGE/MODERN AU???

(even tho technically they'd all be in highschool following cannon age)

shut up.

oh lord

i love imagining my traumatized little characters in happy worlds,

background knowledge:

grisha arent a thing in this au and there is no current wars

Dorm Arrangements:

Inej and Nina requested rooms together the same day they could, Kaz managed to get a room alone and so did Wylan. Matthias doesn't go to college nor does Jesper.

disclaimer:

i will write more lore about this collige au esp jesper and wylan because we need more gay men in healthy loving relationships

(its me im the gay men)😭

"Hey, Kaz!"

The boy, who was previously watching a particularly ugly bird, looked up to see Inej and Nina. Both of the girls wore matching sundresses.

The five were going swimming today. Although Ketterdam was known for it's dreary and bleak weather, it was summer which meant they got three whole days out of the month of August to enjoy a sunny day.

"Where's Jesper and Matthias?" Inej asked Kaz, as if he could telepathically communicate with the two idiots.

"I think Matthias is meeting us at the watering hole," Nina chimed in. She was typing away furiously on her phone and every so often a curl would fall in front of her eyes and she would angrily push it away, only for gravity to drag the curl right back where it fell before.

Suddenly, a loud chime startled the group, well, not really. Kaz did not only jump but also let out a little yelp as his phone went off. Inej and Nina laughed until they were both a wheezing mess.

"Oh. My. God." Kaz could barely make out the girl's out of breath words. Before she could elaborate, Nina began to have another laughing

fit.

"It startled me, that was all." Kaz grumbled, crossing his arms and pulling out his phone angrily. He had been gifted the device from Inej, it was a Christmas gift. Kaz, ever the old man in a young adult's body, had no clue on how to work the damn thing. Currently, it was the ringer that was giving him hell but last week iMessage was kicking his ass.

"Jesper texted me," he said, "He's asking if we mind if he brings an extra person."

"Jesper?" Nina asked, "With a date?"

Inej, the ever loving and gracious friend, smacked Nina's arm. The latter gasped dramatically and pretended to cradled her arm.

"Don't be rude. It's probably just some poor person Jesper wanted to drag along on an adventure," she shuddered and Kaz shook his head, "He does that too much."

"I agree, we should say no."

"What?" Inej interjected, even Nina raised an eyebrow at Kaz's suggestion, "Let them come it'll be fun. Maybe we can make a new friend!"

Kaz, however, did not see Inej's point.

Nevertheless, he texted Jesper and told him the stranger could come. The things he did for that girl.

Originally, Kaz met Nina junior year of highschool.

She had just moved from Ravka and they were paired together for a science project. The project was complex, it was meant to show an overall understanding of what they learned that year. The two extensively worked on it for two months and proudly presented it. Although they never became "friends" in highschool, both kept contact and Kaz even showed up at Nina's 18th birthday.

"Sorry I missed your sweet sixteen," he said as he handed Nina his gift, "I didn't realize those were an important thing to you." Kaz shrugged, Nina noticed, as he said the last part. I didn't realize those were an important thing to you. He cared, Nina realized that day, he acted like he didn't but he definitely did. Before she was sent to Ketterdam she was not the most popular kid on the playground. Friends were hard to make when you get singled out by someone many people look up to.

For Nina, Kaz was a breath of fresh air. Not that she would ever let him know that. He might get violent.

Behind them, the three could hear a car pulling up. Jesper's light blue Honda Civic parked poorly in a spot nearby. His face peeked over the roof of his car and he began wavely excitedly when he saw his friends. The passenger side door opened "Uhm, where are my keys?"

Kaz, who had been watching this for a second stepped up. In his fingers, the keys swung lazily.

"I'm driving."

Jesper groaned as Kaz forced him out of the truck. There was no arguing with a brick wall.

After Jesper almost ran into a dear, Kaz would not let Jesper drive in a car that he also was in. The group laughed and gossiped on the way to the watering hole, when they arrived Kaz was voted as designated Spot Finder. He was not swimming so he was tasked with finding a place for all their stuff and making sure it's not stolen.

ok im gonna edit this later and add im so sornee rn and CAN NOT breathe😭

#writing #six of crows #grishaverse #writers on tumblr #writblr #college au #kanej #jesper x waylyn

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corporal-relativity · 2 years

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Six of Crows characters as things my friends have said PART 7

Kaz: We broke your lock it's not like we have boundries

Wylan: I mean, man, I didn't know how to tie my shoes for years and it was bliss.

Inej: You're a bad influence. Now you're recruiting him to your cult.

Jesper (to Kaz): I trust you, but I'm not an idiot.

Nina: I would give you my blanket, but then I would have to look at you, and that might just kill me.

Mattias: You should get hurt more. Builds character.

#six of crows #crooked kingdom #grishaverse #kaz brekker #inej gafha #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #mattias helvar #kanej #wesper #helnik #six of crows as things my friends have said PART --

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fandomscompilation · 11 months

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The story of two broken souls (Kaz Brekker x Reader) Part 13

Fandom: Six of Crows

Pairing: eventual Kaz Brekker x Reader

Warnings: talks about menagerie, guns, knives, threats, talks about murder, mentions of a dark past

A/N: Welcome, welcome! Here's another part that I had prepared. I'm starting on the next chapters, but I need to get Netflix cause I can't have it at my bf and mine. So there's that 👍🏻 But enjoy this one and let me know what you think!

Taglist: @d34drapunzel @coldheartedmar @igakc

Gif is not mine!

Kaz dragged me out with him to find Jesper on the streets of Ketterdam. We found him fairly quickly, but I noticed him looking around for something, or someone.

"Jesper, new job!" Kaz shouted nearing our friend. "Come along."

I watched Jesper smile to himself before he jogged behind us. We went throught the back streets while he got distracted with everything every few minutes.

"I mean it. We need a demo man." Jesper said after walking beside a stall with some explosives.

"You're still on that?" Kaz shook his head not stopping.

"Yeah, I babysit enough with you. Not to mention a guy with a knack for blowing things up." I grunted while another woman tried to show me some jewelry, probably fake either way.

"I just brought it up tonight." He argued looking around at people.

"Jesper, you ask for an explosives expert on every job." Kaz points out and I nod along. He even talks about it after getting few drinks.

"Because I don't want to be the one you point to and say, "Explode something for us." That is not a Jesper talent. I shoot things with style. And I look good." He says pointing at Kaz making me huff.

"And a big ego." I tease making Jesper wink at me.

"Alina Starkov will be kept at the Little Palace. Entering that building requires us to be quiet." Kaz explained to Jesper while I looked to the building ahead of us. "Blowing something up, we've likely failed."

"Then we should take Inej." Jesper said like it was second nature. "She's a good investment. More quiet than I'll ever be. She can't stay here, you know that." Jesper caught Kaz's elbow stopping him. He glared at the hand like it burned him and Jesper pulled himself away. "Whoa. Hang on, aren't we on Pekka's turf now?"

"I go to Heleen now and ask for her buyout, she know I need Inej and sets a price I can't pay." Kaz explains quickly and Jesper frowns.

"That's evil. Well, how do you know that?" He asks looking to Kaz confused.

"It's what I would do." I shake my head knowing he probably did it. "Besides, Inej refuses to kill. Would you trust her in a matter of life and death?"

"Well, I've trusted her so far and I'm still alive, so, yeah." He says while I voice my agreement too. Inej might have her own rules, but I didn't doubt her for one second. "Now, you want to tell me why we're scoping out a rival club?"

"To have a talk with an old business partner." Kaz said looking to the building with displeasure.

"The bouncer will know you on sight." Jesper said making Brekker look back to him.

"That's why I brought you. Make sure they don't see me." He said before walking away from us. We looked to each other before sighting tiredly.

We walked up to the doors and Jesper shoot at the boot sign on the wall. In a second all of them ran down the stairs and pointed their guns at us. Jesper raised his one arm up, while the other was draped around my waist. I hugged myself close to his chest in an act of fear, but also to make sure his chest was hidden by my face.

"You heard that, too?" Jesper asked pointing to the side.

"Was that you?" The bouncer asked with the guns still pointed at us.

"No, I'm, uh... I'm bouncing for the Clipper. And had a small break to see my lady." He squizzed my waist while Kaz was sneaking behind the man.

"Haven't seen you before? Where's Tombar?" The man asked but they guns were lowered now, making me straighten up lightly. They started to turn around while Kaz was still in the doorway, his eyes set on us for a moment.

"Hey, hey. Was that sign damaged before?" Jesper asked and when they looked up he shot the sign. I covered again hiding his chest. "Saints. Where was that?" He asked with his arm still raised. They looked at each other confused before one of them told us to stay put. The other one started to walk around the street looking for anything out of the ordinary.

When I finally noticed Kaz safely walk out I whimpered hugging Jesper tightly.

"Can we go now please?" I all but whined and the men huffed letting us go.

We hurried to catch up with Kaz, who looked like he was on a mission.

"What did you learn?" I asked falling in step with him.

"I've got an address. Go ahead and make sure nothing happens." He said giving me a piece of paper and I hurried to the rooftops.

I ran along the tiles and kept an eye out for Kaz and Jesper. I circled the whole building noticing everything was locked. I jumped down in front of the doors where they stopped.

"It's locked." Kaz sighted crouching down to pick the lock. "Keep a lookout." Jesper nodded while I walked in before Kaz.

"Better stay behind me." Kaz said trying to sidestep me, but I blocked his way.

"Do not forget who I am, Brekker." I send him a glare and we followed the noise. When we neared the doorway I recognized Inej's voice.

"Ask the Saints for me." She said when we finally stepped into the room. I noticed the man and Kaz was the first one to react.

"Don't!" He shouted making Inej throw her dagger at us and I redirected it with my own blades. It flew past us to emb itself into the doorway next to Kaz's head. "He's our way to Alina Starkov." He said still quiet shaken from the attack while I stepped up to the pair.

"Him?" Inej asked with her knife still on his throat. I placed my hand over hers.

"Heleen knew it. She was using you to sabotage our mission." His words made Inej frown in confusion and she shook her head.

"She and I made a deal." Her hand began trembling and I pulled it back lightly.

"It isn't worth more than what we get with him alive." Brekker stepped closer trying to stop her too.

"You choose him over my freedom?" She asks turning to face him while I make sure her hand doesn't slip with the turmoil of emotion she felt right now.

"You assume it's one or the other." He says and Inej stills for a moment before stepping back. "Conductor. I have a job for you." Kaz stands over him and I groan getting the man into a sitting position.

After Kaz's talk with the Conductor we all made our way back to the Slat where he immediately went to his office and the three of us stayed downstairs. Inej was obviously still a bit shaken about almost killing the man, while Jesper kept on glancing at both of us.

"You asked Jesper to do it. Before we got to him." I stated leaning back in my chair and they both looked at me. "Why didn't you come to me?"

"Because I knew you would do it without question." Inej admitted looking down at the table. I sighted reaching for her hand.

"I'd kill more than just one man if it meant your conscience was untouched Inej." I said in a soft voice making her smile lightly.

"I know. And I think that was the reason why I didn't come to you." She admitted and I could see her pain.

"It's in the past now. You didn't do it." I squizzed her hand before letting her go.

"What if I wanted to?" Inej asked looking to both Jesper and me.

"We're human, Inej. We're the worst type of predators. And sometimes that animalistic part wins." I shrugged looking at the few Dregs laughing around.

When Kaz finally walked down we were informed to pack lightly and head for Novokribirsk. I was the only one that went to my room and didn't come out in seconds. But I still wasn't a Crow, I still didn't want to cross the Fold.

"Why are you not packed?" Kaz all but barked getting into my room without knocking. Minutes after they were supposed to leave.

"Because I'm not going." I huffed turning to face him.

"You're on this job as much as the others." He said stepping closer with an air of authority.

"I don't remember when I agreed to this." I snapped back and took a step closer too. He looked down at me with a clenched jaw, but I wasn't giving up that easily.

"You're either going to pack or I'll drag you out." He threatened making me laugh. I shook my head in irritation.

"I came here on a job, yes. But not this one. I didn't sign up to cross the Fold again or to go back to that Saints forsaken place!" I shouted letting my anger speak. It took only a second for my words to register in my brain. I straightened up while Brekker watched me carefully.

"You've crossed the Fold?" His eyes squinted dangerously.

"Who do you think brought that woman into your Club, huh? Who do you think gave you a way through that pitch black hole?" I asked stepping away to lean my hands on the dresser. "I am not going back there, Kaz. Do not ask me."

"If you know the way around the Little Palace that means we need you more than ever." I could hear him step closer and I felt his presence hover behind me. He was close, but it felt like he was already on the other side of the Fold.

"You have no idea about my past. And going back means living through it again. I am not ready to do that." I shook my head to get rid of the memories that flooded my mind.

"You are not the same as you were. You survived Ketterdam, you balanced between gangs and you took lives. You became the Void Blade. And if you coming means bringing her back to life then so be it." Kaz said and I knew it took a lot to allow my other identity to come back to life. It would mess with our plan and bring attention to both me and Dirtyhands.

"Fine." I spat out grabbing few of my hiddens weapons that were only assimilated to the Blade. "But if it goes wrong.."

"It won't." He said keeping his gaze on me. "Now let's go."

#fanfiction #writing #fanfic #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows #kaz brekker series #the story of two broken souls #kaz dirtyhands brekker #requests are open

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kazscrows · 1 year

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Six of Crows Reread🪶

Chapter 42: Inej

They’d been blessed with a strong wind. Inej felt it ripple through her hair and couldn’t help but think of the storm to come.

I really love that even still Inej can find blessings in her life

And about the storm coming… that’s a very apt thought

“What will it do to her?” asked Wylan.

“You’ve seen for yourself,” Matthias replied bitterly. “We know what’s going to happen.”

Kaz crossed his arms, “How will it start?”

“Body aches, chills, no worse than a mild illness,” Kuwei explained. “Then a kind of hypersensitivity, followed by tremors, and the craving.”

“Do you have more of the parem?” Matthias asked.

“Yes.”

“Enough to get her back to Ketterdam?”

“I won’t take more,” Nina protested.

“I have enough to keep you comfortable,” Kuwei said. “But if you take a second dose, there is no hope at all.” He looked to Matthias. “This is her one chance. It’s possible her body will purge enough of it naturally that addiction won’t set in.”

“And if it does?”

Kuwei held out his hands, part shrug, part apology. “Without a ready supply of the drug, she’ll go mad. With it, her body will simply wear itself out.”

Nina is in for quite the fight..

But I like how set she is on working through it

She’ll need help, things won’t be easy, but she’s made up her mind

She’s going to recover

I like to think that Kaz is genuinely being concerned for his crew mate too

I know that Inej is concerned, she quickly seeks Nina out to check on her

She found Nina near the prow, gazing out at the sea.

“One hour, maybe two,” Nina said without turning.

Inej halted in shock. “You heard me approach?” No one heard the Wraith, especially over the sound of the wind and sea.

“Don’t worry. It wasn’t those silent feet that gave you away. I can hear your pulse, your breathing.”

“And you knew it was me?”

“Every heart sounds different. I never realised that before.”

That’s kind of beautiful actually

Everyone has a heart but they don’t all sound the same

Everyone one of us is different

Inej was ready for dawn, ready for this long night to be over, and the journey, too. She was surprised to find she was eager to see Ketterdam again. She wanted an omelette, a mug of too-sweet coffee. She wanted to hear the rain on the rooftops and sit snug and warm in her tiny room at the Slat. There were adventures to come, but they could wait until she’d had a hot bath – maybe a few of them.

Oh this hurts…

She doesn’t get a chance to just relax and have those baths once they return

Eventually she will just… not for awhile yet..

“I can hear the change in Kaz’s breathing when he looks at you.”

“You … you can?”

“It catches every time, like he’s never seen you before.”

I had forgotten she says this while on parem, but it makes sense

It’s a subtle change, imperceptible to the average person

It’s part of his tell

The other part is that my guy simple can’t stop himself from looking at her when he feels just about anything, but especially when they’re all in danger-

Gosh I love this quote though

Inej is literally breath taking to Kaz. No matter what

Always

“And what about Matthias?” Inej asked, eager to change the subject.

Nina raised a brow, unfooled. “Matthias is afraid for me, but his heart thumps a steady rhythm no matter what he’s feeling. So Fjerdan, so orderly.”

His heart is stronger than that tree back in the ice court

Or maybe his love is stronger than his fear

He’s going to help Nina overcome the parem

Inej leaned back on the railing and peered at Nina. “You look radiant.”

“It won’t last.”

“It never does.” Then Inej’s smile faltered. “Are you afraid?”

“Terrified.”

“We’ll all be here with you.”

Inej had made countless alliances in Ketterdam, but few friends. She rested her head against Nina’s shoulder. “If I were a Suli seer,” she said, “I could look into the future and tell you it will be all right.”

“Or that I’m going to die in agony.” Nina pressed her cheek against the top of Inej’s head. “Tell me something good anyway.”

“It will be all right,” Inej said. “You’ll survive this. And then you’re going to be very, very rich. You’ll sing sea shanties and drinking songs nightly in an East Stave cabaret, and you’ll bribe everyone to give you standing ovations after every song.”

Nina laughed softly. “Let’s buy the Menagerie.”

Inej grinned, thinking of the future and her little ship. “Let’s buy it and burn it down.”

I really love their friendship

And I will be joining them as they burn down the Menagerie

She removed her peacock feather tattoo without her having to ask🥹

And uh.. don’t mind Kaz once again watching from the shadows as Inej hugs someone and he can make himself draw nearer

Okay.. okay here it’s comes-

Here comes the scene—

They stood together, gazing out at the waves, silence stretching between them.

“We’re alive,” he said at last.

“It seems you prayed to the right god.”

“Or travelled with the right people.”

Inej shrugged. “Who chooses our paths?” He said nothing, and she had to smile. “No sharp retort? No laughing at my Suli proverbs?”

He ran his gloved thumb over the rail. “No.”

He isn’t here to make fun of her beliefs

Truthfully I think he admires her for them

“I’m going to learn to sail.”

Kaz’s brow furrowed, and he cast her a surprised glance. “Really? Why?”

“I want to use my money to hire a crew and outfit a ship.” Saying the words wrapped her breath up in an anxious spool. Her dream still felt fragile. She didn’t want to care what Kaz thought, but she did. “I’m going to hunt slavers.”

“Purpose,” he said thoughtfully. “You know you can’t stop them all.”

“If I don’t try, I won’t stop any.”

“Then I almost pity the slavers,” Kaz said. “They have no idea what’s coming for them.”

A pleased flush warmed her cheeks. But hadn’t Kaz always believed she was dangerous?

Earlier in the books Kaz wanted to know that Inej believed in him

He’s making sure she has no doubt that he believes in her

It’s not just that she’s dangerous.

Because she is that

But he knows she can do anything she sets her mind to

The first person Inej tells her new dream to is Kaz

Not Nina or even Jesper

She wants Kaz to hear it first

Trusts him to hear it first

“Was there no one but your brother, Kaz? Where are your mother and father?”

“Barrel boys don’t have parents. We’re born in the harbour and crawl out of the canals.”

Uh huh… you’re very edgy Kaz

But that’s not what you should’ve said…

She thought of her parents. She’d been away from them for nearly three years. How would they have changed? Could she be their daughter again? Maybe not right away. But she wanted to sit with her father on the steps of the wagon eating fruit from the trees. She wanted to see her mother dust chalk from her hands before she prepared the evening meal. She wanted tall southern grasses and the vast sky above the Sikurzoi Mountains. Something she needed was waiting for her there. What did Kaz need?

I’m just crying btw

But even as she’s reminiscing about home and family she thinks of Kaz…

He’s becoming home and family to her too

She cares about him

“…What will you do when there’s no more blood to shed or vengeance to take?”

“There’s always more.”

“More money, more mayhem, more scores to settle. Was there never another dream?”

He said nothing. What had carved all the hope from his heart? She might never know.

This is why they always say hope is dangerous in the show I suppose?

Okay it’s really happening now—

Inej turned to go. Kaz seized her hand, keeping it on the railing. He didn’t look at her. “Stay,” he said, his voice rough stone. “Stay in Ketterdam. Stay with me.”

She looked down at his gloved hand clutching hers. Everything in her wanted to say yes, but she would not settle for so little, not after all she’d been through. “What would be the point?”

He took a breath. “I want you to stay. I want you to … I want you.”

“You want me.” She turned the words over. Gently, she squeezed his hand. “And how will you have me, Kaz?”

He looked at her then, eyes fierce, mouth set. It was the face he wore when he was fighting.

“How will you have me?” she repeated. “Fully clothed, gloves on, your head turned away so our lips can never touch?”

He released her hand, his shoulders bunching, his gaze angry and ashamed as he turned his face to the sea.

Maybe it was because his back was to her that she could finally speak the words. “I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.”

Asvjhsszghj

It gets me EVERY 👏 SINGLE 👏 TIME 👏

I love it. I hate it. I want to scReAm—

Freddy and Amita did this so well

But- It was too soon…

I wish they’d waited and not changed the order of events and quotes…

It’s not the same…

Speak, she begged silently. Give me a reason to stay. For all his selfishness and cruelty, Kaz was still the boy who had saved her. She wanted to believe he was worth saving, too.

He is worth it- he is—

Just give him time and believe in him—

SCREAMING

CRYING

Not throwing up tho because that’s gross—

*sighs* Kanej….

Inej left Kaz with the wind howling and dawn still a long while away.

She left before the light could shine on them…

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#six of crows #inej ghafa #kaz brekker #kanej #jesper fahey #nina zenik #matthias helvar #freddy carter #amita suman #shadow and bone #grishaverse

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ellievickstar · 1 year

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Little Thief

A/N: Welcome to day 4 of my 300 follower week, and I have now introduced our first brand new character, please give a warm welcome, and an open mind, to Kaz Brekker!!!! I loved six of crows so much but I never knew how to start writing the fanfics for it so this is my first attempt!!! This is dedicated to me — omg so slay am I right? HAHAHAHAH. This is more of a sibling bond this time cause I feel like Kaz would be a really great older brother so yea. With all the new characters I am planning on making a new master list :D

Summary: After finding a little girl that was left behind at the crow club, Kaz Brekker is pleased to find his newest investment after watching her take down men twice her size.

Pairs: Platonic!Kaz x reader

Requests: N/A

Inspiration: N/A

Warnings: Violence, abandonment

~*~*~*~*~

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t have time for this,” You said as you were approached by two guards. After your mother had not-so-subtly left you behind in a clear attempt to abandon you, you decided to just stick around at the club before returning home to grab your stuff and leave Ketterdam for good.

The guard rolled his eyes as he reached to grab you, only to be met with a strong pull to the ground as you grabbed his arm and twisted it. “Move,” You said to the second guard, “And I break your friend’s arm,” You growled. He sneered at you but stayed in place. “I want to see who sent you,” You hissed, putting more weight on the guard below you, making him groan in pain, emphasising your point.

“Let him go,” The voice belonged to Kaz Brekker, bastard of the barrel. You let the guard go, only to be led to the back office of the crow club. Inside, you felt fear trickle down your spine as it snaked through your veins. Mr Brekker was known for his cruel nature, whatever he wanted from you was either bad, or very bad.

“Mr Brekker, pleasure to meet you,” You smiled as you mockingly bowed to the rather tall figure compared to you. Sweat trickled down your brow as you worked your face into an expression of mockery. He frowned as he motioned for you to sit. You sat reluctantly, you didn’t want to push your luck.

“How old are you,” He asked, you leaned over as you smirked, “Why do you wanna know?” He glared at you and you nearly flinched, you would have if it wasn’t for the years of stealing and thievery to take care of yourself when your mother could not. “I’m going to be fourteen soon,” You mumbled as you fiddled with the end of your long dark hair. He hummed as he looked down at you.

“You took out a man twice your size, you haven’t stirred up any significant trouble yet hours after you arrived many customers have claimed that their wallets or anything valuable they own is missing,” He bent down to observe your face. “You’re The Ghost,” You scoffed, “I never realised I built a name for myself. Cut to the chase Mr Brekker, and stop sending your wraith to follow me,” Something like shock crossed his face at the mention of his wraith, but it disappeared quickly.

“I want your help,” “For what,” You asked. He just shrugged and gave the vaguest reply on earth, “A mission.”

You rolled your eyes. “What do I get,” He smirked then and handed you a contract and you read the whole thing, giggling at some parts. “The crows?” You cocked your eyebrows as you looked back up. “It’s a nice name, fitting, crows are known for their luck, and yet they always look out for each other. But I prefer to work alone,” You said as you tossed the parchment back.

“I will give you a seventh of everything earned each mission, I will provide somewhere to stay, you will work for me, and you will be under my protection,” Kaz cut in as he raised his cane, blocking you from exiting. You thought about it.

You sighed as you realised that you didn’t have an option, you had to accept this. Signing the parchment, you stood up and bowed mockingly once more.

“Y/N at your service.”

~*~*~*~*~ A/N: NEW AU???? AHHH I love this. it was short but i think i portrayed like something more real, cause if Kaz Brekker glared at me I would be terrified.

#kaz #kaz brekker #soc #crow club #grishaverse #Kaz Brekker x reader #six of crows #reader

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nothingbutwordsstrungtogether · 11 months

Text

Six of Crows characters as things my have friends said – Part 1

Jesper: Do you get sarcastic vibes from me?

Kaz: No, I get weird as fuck vibes from you.

#six of crows #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #shadow and bone #soc #soc incorrect quotes #soc spin off #six of crows characters as things my friends have said

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unrequitedloveletter · 1 year

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It Won’t Feel Like a Loss- Kaz Brekker

Okay! This is part two for YOURS, a kaz fic that I wrote and published last week. In order to read this and have it make sense, you need to go back and read the first part.

Fic type- this one is heavy angst

Warnings- mentions of death threats, depictions of threats of violence, guns are mentioned once, and murder is mentioned once.

You didn’t see Kaz until nearly five years after you’d left.

You were at a pet shop in a small Ravkan town, picking up an order for a collar that you’d placed the day prior. Kaz had walked in to grab dog treats, and you didn’t think it was him, at first.

In fairness to you, Ravka was not a country in short stock of white brunettes who stood at six feet tall. His cane, which he held like it was new to him, was the first giveaway.

Though, really, you supposed the cane was new to him. It wasn’t the crows head cane you could recall him having used, but a simple brown one with a handle that had the symbols of several different saints carved into it.

You noticed that it looked familiar, snorting a bit as you registered that you had seen it before. A dozen canes just like it were in the standing basket of a shop run by people who were the type that Kaz would’ve hated. Whether they believed in the saints or not, they were still scam artists, people who conned those gullible enough to believe their false promises.

“You’ve purchased that from a crew of fraudulent people from the Wandering Isle,” you noted as you watched Kaz grab a bag of dog treats. “They run cons, Kaz. Just like Pekka Rollins used to.”

“You’re bluffing,” Kaz responded. “There’s no way you could’ve gotten that information.”

“Working as the communications liaison between Ravka and all other countries of relevance for nearly five years means that I’m in the good graces of every single royal that matters. I asked Zoya for a favor, for a bit of information on the two owners. She gave me everything that her spies could find, Kaz. Several people in the Wandering Isle are still homeless because of those blokes.”

“Ah, communications liaison for a country that drowns in it’s own debt,” Kaz responded. “That’s where you’ve been the past five years. I’ve wondered about your whereabouts since you left under the cover of midnight. Everyone else knew your address, but for some reason, I never learned it. Inej refused to give it to me, and even knocking the idiot Fjerdan onto his ass didn’t do me any good.”

“I should kill you right now for even so much as threatening him,” you cut. “What else did you do to my friends, Kaz? What? Did you melt down Wylans flute into the head of a new cane? Did you kill someone in front of Nina and revel in the fact that she hasn’t had the means to heal them since she was dosed with parem? Did you rip Jespers guns from their holsters and threaten him with his own weapons? Did you revel in the fact that you’d proven Inej wrong as you did one terrible thing after the next, proving yourself to be a cruel man incapable of changing, incapable of even wanting to change for any person who’d ever even mattered to you in the bloody slightest?”

“You shouldn’t’ve left,” Kaz said. Someone at the til called your name, and you collected the collar you’d ordered the previous day while Kaz paid for the dog treats he’d grabbed.

Kaz joined you in your walk back to the townhouse you’d procured the year before, even despite the fact that there was a part of you that wished he would leave well enough alone, go back to whatever heist he’d been planning, whatever he’d needed the dog treats for.

“You tell me that I shouldn’t have left,” you said, breaking the silence that, somehow, remained as comfortable as it was five years before. “Why, Kaz? You were ripping my heart into pieces. Why shouldn’t I have left when I deserve more than what Ketterdam had to offer?”

“You did deserve more,” Kaz agreed. “You did. You do. You shouldn’t’ve left because people miss you. Five bloody years and I still get asked by regulars when you’ll be returning.”

“I had to settle for a crimeless life at some point,” you said. “I deserve a townhouse, Brekker. I deserve a cat that I name something like ‘Mittens’ because the only portions of brown across it’s coat are it’s paws. I deserve to be able to live off of my early retirement and supplementary income that I get due to my early retirement. I deserve to wake up at a time of my choice. I deserve good food. Damn it all, Kaz, I deserve to be able to drink tea while I watch the sunset from my backyard.”

“I miss you, too,” Kaz said. “It’s not just the regulars. The crows and I are in town for a series of heists over the next six months, and then we’ll be gone. Went into that shop to get treats so that I could get the guard dogs at the place we’re raiding tonight to calm down, not alert their owners of our presences. The fact that I found you at all was a coincidence.”

“I lived in apartment close to the the palaces at first,” you said. “It made it a lot more convenient to get to work that way. Zoya was entrusted a townhouse from one of my coworkers that she could do as she pleased with once the coworker moved to Shu Han. Zoya gave it to me, told me that I could retire early if I wanted to. I took the chance, got a cat, started crocheting and bought a piece of farmland where I currently grow wheat and turn it into flour and kvas. The flour and alcohol goes to Ketterdam, lands at a Dregs owned port. I wanted to oversee the shipments getting there at one point, but I realized I was just trying to get back to Ketterdam. I wasn’t ready at that point, but I wanted to see you.”

“Why?”

“I have loved you since we were seventeen years old. I dealt with it for a while, realized that you would never love me back, decided I deserved more, and I left. I spent the first two years after leaving feeling the regret so deep that I was entirely sure it’d gone through my bloodstream and seeped into my bones. It made me want to return to the city but weighed me down so greatly that it kept me from leaving Ravka.”

The two of you walked in silence for the remainder of the way to your place. Kaz grinned slightly as he watched you grab your keys, unlocking your door and opening it for him as you stepped inside.

You dropped your keys in a bowl to the right of the door, took off your coat as Kaz did. You took both of your coats and hung them on separate rungs of the coatrack, grinning as you heard a trill from the living room.

“A cat who you named Mittens because the only the portions of brown across it’s coat are it’s paws,” Kaz whispered. The cat that you’d heard moments before walked into the foyer. Kaz tried his grin, turning his head slightly and feigning indifference when he registered the colors of the cats fur--a dark beige, brown at it’s paws, patches of a lighter beige lingering on it’s ears.

“I have grown to love this life, Kaz Brekker. I will not sacrifice it without reason, without it being a thousand times as good as the one for which I boarded a boat at midnight, felt my heart shattering in two as I watched the view of the harbor fade into nothing.”

Kaz Brekker had loved you since he’d been eighteen years old. You were the one person he’d never wanted to lose, and somehow, he’d lost you. There was a point at which he was sure that it would kill him from the inside out.

“I am not asking you to leave,” Kaz said. “I do want a second chance, but if that is something that you cannot give me at this point time, I completely understand.”

“I loved you and I left,” you whispered, bending down to give Mittens the cat the attention he’d been asking for as he stared at you with his head tilted. “I left. It’s been five years, and I love you still. I really bloody hate that.”

Kaz felt his heart tear itself into pieces as he watched tears cascade down your cheeks like a dam had been removed.

“I want to stop missing you, Y/N. Another minute of it and I’m sure I’ll break down until there is nothing left of me except for the plans for heists I keep in the Slat and my reputation of being prone to ruthlessness. I am afraid that, if I have to lose you again, I will simply go mad. The idea of my life without you in it is one that I can no longer bear to think of.”

You turned to look at him, wishing that you could walk over and press your forehead against his and tell him that he was to be in Ravka for six months. Things were going to be okay.

But, you couldn’t. Such was not the way of things with Kaz Brekker.

“I don’t want to lose you either,” you said. “You’re here six months. Let’s make the most of it, and in the end, whether we decide to stay together or go our separate ways, it won’t feel like a loss. It’ll feel like moving on.”

“The deal is the deal, Y/N.”

“The deal is the deal, Kaz.”

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows

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