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jsprnt · 1 month

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Americano PT. 5 | Jude Bellingham x Reader

What happens if two individuals who absolutely despise each other are forced to interact after unforeseen events occur?

A/N: pff, this was a long one, enjoy babes. A heads up in advance, I’ll be taking a break in the first week of April due to my exams 🫶

W/C: 4.558

part four

"Come in here and bring your laundry hamper!"

"Just a second, dad!"

I jump out of bed, leaving my phone on the other end of it, and grab the pink hamper. I hold onto the handles tightly as I make my way out of my room.

I see him standing over the washing machine in the laundry room. I enter quickly, the both of us starting to sort out the dirty clothes and putting them in the machine accordingly.

"Did you finish packing?" My dad asks, glancing at me before grabbing the laundry detergent and fabric softener out of the cabinet above me.

"Yeah, just a couple basic things. It's like a 2-3 day trip."

He pours the blue liquid into the cap, checking the measurements before pouring it into the designated compartment. Doing the same thing with the fabric softener.

"Really? No fancy dress or anything?"

I look up from the washing machine, a sheepish smile forming on my face. I watch him shake his head in disbelief, a smile on his face as he turns the machine on.

"When I sent you abroad- I thought your aunt would raise you exactly like I would. But I forgot she probably raised you to love dressing up like her. You know, she used to terrorize me in my own room growing up, only because I had bigger windows and thus better lighting for when she did her makeup.." He shakes his head, chuckle leaving him as he reminisces.

I laugh at him, the smile on my face bigger now.

"I think packing something proper is very important. It worked out pretty well last Saturday when we went for dessert in Girona."

"Just stay safe when going out. It's a dangerous world, honey." He says, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I purse my lips at his words, remembering what had happened just a couple nights ago. He didn't know about the entire debacle, but since it was already dealt with, I didn't see a reason to bring it up.

"When are you getting up?"

"Not super early, like around eight? The match isn't until Tuesday, so no early flight."

"You know, it's almost twelve, right? Go to bed already, and don't go on your phone." He tuts, scolding me and pushing me towards my room.

"Alright, I'll go to bed."

"Goodnight, I love you." He says, kissing my forehead before he makes his way down the stairs.

"Love you too!" I shout as I watch him walk away while I stand in front of my bedroom door. The silence of the house surrounding me when I’m left alone.

The team had finally wrapped up training for the day. We had arrived in Napels that morning, and they had trained hard until late in the afternoon.

This left us with some free time for the rest of the day, until we had to prepare for the match tomorrow.

"You've been doing your makeup for about 40 minutes now." I hear Luis complain, lying flat on his back on top of my bed.

"I could be meeting my future Italian husband out there! Come on, let me look cute for tonight."

I darken up my eye makeup, coloring my waterline with a black pencil to contrast my white dress.

I then drench my face in setting spray, fanning it dry with a random brochure, I found on the nightstand.

"Besides, you're wrinkling your clothes, stand up. I can't have you looking bummy! What if you find yourself a pretty lady?" I wink, struggling to hold back a laugh at the unimpressed expression he sends me.

I finally stand up from the chair, smoothing down my dress in front of the mirror, and adjust the slit a little.

"We can go now!"

"Are you drinking?"

"No, not feeling it tonight." I mutter, eyeing the delicious-sounding food on the menu.

I look up, watching Luis flip through the menu.

"I'm going to order a pizza."

"Why pizza?" He asks, looking at me.

"We are practically in the birthplace of pizza. Are you judging me?" I ask, raising a brow at him.

"Just get it, I'm not judging you.." He raises his hands as if to surrender.

"You're so mean when you're hungry." He mumbles, closing his menu.

"Just appreciate the fact that I dragged you here. Look at how beautiful the view is.

I turn, admiring the view behind the glass panels of the restaurant. The Vesuvius mountain and the water are absolutely breathtaking, especially right now during sunset.

He sighs at me in agreement, looking around to find a waiter for us to finally order our food.

I watch him order for the both of us, getting distracted by the view, and turn towards him when the waiter leaves.

"If you get hammered, I'll leave you here.."

"So, now you want to find an Italian girlfriend?" I ask Luis bewildered, watching him walk - no stumble in front of me.

The drinks he ordered were good, so good he felt inclined to ordered multiple of them. I didn't keep count, but he definitely had more than his limit, which made him the drunk mess he was right now.

"Of course, you're my best friend. We should each find a person to marry!" He slurs, walking towards the docks.

I sigh deeply, looking down at my heels, before jogging up to him, clutching onto his shirt tightly.

"You're going to fall into the water!" I shout, trying to hold him back from the edge, but he shouts in protest.

"It's fine, maybe one of these hot people will save me from drowning."

Oh my god

I look up to where he's pointing, seeing a group of people on an expensive-looking catamaran. I'm way too distracted to realize my grip on Luis has loosened, and watch him leave. I see him greet the partying people loudly. I close my eyes in embarrassment, wanting to jump into the water out of shame.

Who even parties on a random Monday evening?

I surprisingly hear someone shout something in what sounds like Italian. I turn my head, eyes searching as I turn my attention to the person.

My eyes meet the eyes of a tall, brown-eyed, beautifully sun-kissed man. His blue linen shirt halfway unbuttoned.

He looked like, and definitely is trouble.

I hear him say something again, and my eyes widen when they go back to Luis, who looks like he's having the time of his life with two girls.

"English?" I hear the beautiful stranger ask.

I nod, watching him walk towards the dock and then, interestingly enough, reach for my hand.

I would never leave Luis alone on this boat full of strangers. Therefore, I reluctantly grab the guy's hand as he pulls me onto the boat.

"Hi?" I greet, raising a brow. Quickly smoothing my dress down.

"Hello, and your name is?" He asks, eyes roaming up and down my body, definitely checking me out. The Aussie accent practically melting me on the spot, making it difficult for my jaw to stay closed.

He was the definition of trouble.

But I needed to get my mess of a friend off this damn boat and leave.

"y/n, yours?" I ask, pretending to be more interested than I am, sneakily glancing at Luis.

"I'm Chris. You're not from here, are you?"

Obviously not

"No, I'm actually from Valencia."

A white lie, he didn't have to know anything about me.

"Valencia, Spain? What are you and your friend doing here?"

"Visiting, for fun." I lie again, giving him a smile.

"Really? Having fun so far?" He smiles, his pearly white teeth blinding me.

"Yeah, a lot of fun." I reply, my brows raising in fake interest.

I watch him chuckle, his plump lips curling up. His arm going up to run a hand through his blonde locks.

"Care for a drink, then?"

As beautiful as this man was, I wasn't naive enough to accept a drink from him. Especially, since we were in a totally different country.

"I'm fine, actually. I'm leaving tomorrow, so I'm trying to not drink as much."

"Oh, you probably came to watch the Champions League game then?"

Got me, kind of.

I immediately pull a sour face, pretending to be disgusted.

"Of course not, I have better things to do than attend a Real Madrid match. If it wasn't for Valencia, I'd be for Barcelona anyway.."

That one physically hurt to say.

"Oh- don't get mad now." He teases, putting his hands up, his smile getting wider.

I had to leave hastily, at least before this man got me into his bed.

"You're fine. I'm just trying to get my friend and leave. You alright with that?"

"Let me get your number first. Don't think I'll forget you after tonight." He says, handing me his phone.

I was curving the man left and right, and he still wanted my number?

"I don't really give out my number. But I can give you my Instagram handle?"

"That's fine." He says, clicking on his Instagram.

I watch his screen, my eyes accidentally catching the number of girls on his explore page.

No way, this man was looking for something serious.

"Oh, I'll type it in. If that's alright?" I say, reaching for his phone. He nods, handing me the device.

I quickly type in my username, pressing follow.

To snoop a little further, I go back to the explore page, seeing more ass and boobs than I had prepared for. Pretending to be unfazed as I clear the Instagram tab and hand his phone back to him.

I mean, their bodies were amazing, but why the hell was he following them?

"That's it. Here you go. My phone is dead, so I'll talk to you later?" I say, fidgeting with my handbag. My social battery was dying even faster than normal tonight.

I watch him nod, his eyes on me, as I immediately make my way to Luis, who's now sitting with a random girl.

"Hi, sorry to interrupt, but we have to leave."

I grab onto Luis' arm, using all my strength to get him up. Noticing the amount of shot glasses and empty beer bottles in front of them.

How the hell did he manage to do that so fast?

Idiot.

"Wait, do you want his Instagram?" I ask the girl. She hesitates before nodding looking at us confused.

"Okay, well, let me spell it for you."

I spell his username quickly, turning away.

"Yes, that's it. We're not a thing, by the way- he's my brother. Bye!"

Another lie, but maybe it would help him in the long run.

"Let's go, come on." I groan, dragging Luis back to the hotel.

It was doable until he started leaning his body on me, making me slump partially. My heels beginning to hurt my feet more than ever.

After a good ten minutes of struggling, we finally enter the elevator of the hotel, his body weight starts to pile on me. Arriving at our correct floor I drag him out, a huge sigh of relief leaving my lips as I recognize some of our Real Madrid players.

"Help." I mumble, watching some of them recognize the fact that I was half-suffocating.

I watch Antonio, Aurélien, and Jude, of all people, walk towards us, getting drunk and passed out Luis off of me.

"Thank you." I sigh, fixing myself, watching Antonio comically throw Luis onto one of the seats there.

"What happened to him?" I hear Brahim say as I try to catch my breath and I readjust my grip on my bag.

"Long story."

"Let's put him to bed first." Antonio says, making me nod. All of our eyes moving to a passed-out Luis.

"So, he got into a random boat?" Federico asks, looking at me.

I nod, trying to hold back a laugh while I drink my water. The cardigan I had retrieved from my room keeping me warm as we sat in the sky lounge.

"I would've partied." I look up at Cama, shaking my head.

"They were strangers, come on! But- one guy did approach me." I say, sending him a smug look.

"So you had some fun!"

"Look, he was cute. He offered me a drink, but I refused."

"That's it? Come on..”

"Why are you all up in my business?" I joke, being half-serious, hearing some of them laugh.

I finish my cup of water, beginning to stand up from my seat.

"It's getting late, I'm going up to my room. Don’t make it late, you guys need to rest well!" I say, waving after they send me off with kind words.

I press the elevator button, crossing my arms as I wait for it to arrive. The doors open a few seconds later, and I step in. I raise my head in surprise when I see an arm hold the doors open. Surprise turns into irritation when I notice Jude step in.

"Why did you follow me?" I ask, playing with the clasp on my bag.

"You know, not everything is about you." He mutters, a fed-up expression on his face. I sigh, closing my eyes in impatience, as I lean against the elevator wall.

The elevator makes a noise, and I check the floor number, getting out, hearing him follow me.

I start rummaging through my handbag for my room-key. Finally, fishing it out as we walk up to our respective rooms.

I arrive at my door, hearing Jude walk up to his own, his room interestingly enough being across from mine.

I go to scan my card but freeze, realizing my door is open by a small sliver.

"Why is my door open?" I mumble to myself, trying to subdue my instant panic.

"What?" I hear, seeing Jude walk up to me from the corner of my eye. His eyes darting in between me and the door.

"You left it open, probably." He responds, not an ounce of concern in his voice.

"You think?"

"Yeah, since you're so good with doors-"

"Okay, stop right there." I mutter, pushing the door open further. I flick the light on, looking around cautiously.

I hear him scoff at my behavior, and I turn around to look at him.

"Can you check the room?" I ask, trying to sound as nice as possible.

"No." He deadpans, giving me a bored look.

I hold back a string of cuss words, stepping into the room as he stands at the doorway.

"Stay here at least, before I get murdered."

"Would be a sight." He mutters, voice laced with humor. Though, I found it difficult to see this situation as funny.

"You're not funny. Are you aware of that?" I ask, punching into the curtains to check if anyone's hiding behind them.

"Find anything, detective?"

"Shut up." I whisper, going to open the bathroom door, hesitating for a moment.

Adrenaline starts pumping through my veins. I try to take deep breaths to prepare for a fight.

"What if someone's actually here?" I whisper, my eyes wide, as I turn to look at Jude.

I watch his expression harden, his jaw tensing as he looks at me.

"What do you mean?!" I hear Jude whisper back. His voice is hushed and more low than usual.

I take off both of my heels, ready to bash the possible intruder’s head in with my heels.

"Call security." I whisper, preparing to fight. I watch him take out his phone, before he raises his head again. His expression darkens for a moment before it changes into something- else...

"What are you doing, idiot? Come here." He says, and I can almost make out a vein popping out of his forehead.

All of the sudden, he makes his way over to me, grabbing my wrist and dragging me out of my room. Shutting the heavy door behind me, his hands coming up to my shoulders.

"What is wrong with you? You don't even know if they're with a weapon or anything!" He shouts in a hushed voice, his Brum accent more prominent than ever.

I continue staring at him, my lips parting in realization.

Damn, I was such a shallow thinker in times of crisis.

My mind turns blank, not acknowledging Jude's presence anymore. I can only hear him sigh and mumble something as security from both the club and hotel arrive at my room.

"Could you take her somewhere else, sir?” I hear someone say, feeling my wrist being pulled abruptly by Jude.

I follow him blindly, but I try to look back at my room. Wanting to see if someone would actually appear out of my room.

"Don't look." I hear, looking in front of me again as I’m brought into the hotel room across from mine. Nicer and bigger, definitely his.

"Sit down." He orders, pulling my wrist again and making me sit on one of the cushioned chairs.

I oblige without protest, too dazed to react in a snarky way. The silence in the room feels like hours when only being about ten minutes. It is finally cut off as Jude's phone starts ringing loudly.

I hear him speak for a few minutes before he hangs up. I watch him walk towards me as he sits in the chair next to me.

"No one was there, they checked the cameras as well. You left the door open."

I cringe, realizing my own initial mistake. A shudder runs through me as he explains.

"Oh, great!" I mumble sarcastically, feeling embarrassed, fidgeting with the fabric of my dress. Only now realizing I was barefoot, my heels probably fell out of my grasp when he pulled me out of the room.

I get up when he finishes explaining, walking up to the door. Pulling my soft cardigan closer to soothe myself.

"Where are you going?" I hear Jude ask. I turn and look back at him.

"Back to my room." I say, suddenly feeling the day's exhaustion take effect. My vision becoming blurry as I feel an ache make its way to my head.

This day alone probably took five years off my lifespan.

I hear him sigh as he walks up to me. Feeling him put his hand on my right shoulder.

"What?" I ask, looking him up and down. Trying to shrug his hand off of my shoulder.

I watch his jaw tense again, his grip on my shoulder getting tighter, though, not getting to the point of hurting.

I open my mouth to speak again, as he doesn't bother to answer my question. Unfortunately, I’m stopped by a sharp pain shooting through my head.

I groan in pain, placing my hands on my temples as I squeeze my eyes shut.

"What's wrong?" I hear him whisper, his other hand making its way to my left shoulder.

"I'm fine..." I dismiss, taking his hands off my shoulders. I reach for the door handle, pulling it down and stepping out of the room.

I tap my card against the sensor hurriedly and open my door, turning to see his door across the hallway already shut.

"Doesn't even care to watch me go inside." I mutter, ridding myself of my clothes and taking a much-needed shower. Trying to wash off all my stress and embarrassment.

When I'm done, I make a beeline to my bed, closing my eyes and forcing myself to sleep. I shift and turn, groaning in frustration as I turn my pillow around for the nth time.

It's like my sleep was robbed of me within minutes. My thoughts keeping me up. I check the time, realizing it was almost two in the morning.

I begin getting fully paranoid, my stupid brain making up the craziest scenarios imaginable.

I bury my face deeper into my pillow, forcing my brain to shut up. Finally, managing to fall asleep, too tired to keep my anxious walls up.

"You look like a truck ran you over."

"Shut up." I snarl replying to Jude. Trying to ignore him further as I continue eating my food, Luis sitting across from me at the breakfast buffet.

I had gotten maybe five hours of sleep. My three layers of concealer weren’t doing its job today. It had creased within minutes of application.

I roll my eyes as he sits at the table next to us, probably to annoy me further.

“Someone get this weirdo away from me..” I say loudly, closing my eyes in prayer.

I hear Jude scoff, following it up with a laugh.

"Were you born insufferable, or do you practice in the mirror before going to bed?" I ask, poking at my food.

I hear him chuckle again, which makes my blood boil even more. I glance at Luis, seeing a grin forming on his face.

"You too?"

I had told him everything that had happened last night, him feeling embarrassed but finding it hilarious at the same time.

He did promise he'd make it up to me.

"Don't forget how I dragged your ass from the dock to the hotel. I could've easily left you there."

I threaten, looking at Luis as I shove another spoonful of food in my mouth.

I see Jude open his mouth, but I stop him with a hand as my phone rings. My dad calling me right at the perfect moment.

"Oops, sorry, too busy for whatever you want to say."

I realize how immature I sound, but I digress. I get up and answer the call. Chatting to my dad about the past few days.

I signal for Luis to stop filming, patting his back to commend him for his hard work after the final whistle is blown. A nice 3-2 putting us on top of the table.

"They played really well."

I hum, posting the last social media post and turning to him.

"Right, if they keep playing like this, we'll definitely end up at the top of table C for sure."

"We'll go far. That's without question."

We make our way inside, trying to rush to get inside on time.

"Hugo is saying to interview both Frederico and Jude." I mutter, rereading the text message.

"That's fine, let's just wait here until they're ready." He says, both of us waiting in front of the changing room as they pile inside. Tired expressions on all of their faces.

"By the way, have you seen this one guy that's working here? He's so cute for you." I hear Luis say, looking up at him confused.

"Which one?" I ask, fidgeting with the cable of the camera.

"I'll show you when I see him." He says, and I give him a look.

"He better be cute, since you're making me wait."

"Alright, that's it." I announce, looking at Jude. Finally wrapping up his interview.

"Thank you." He mutters, with less attitude this time. Probably way too tired to have a petty fight with me. I wasn't disappointed with that, to be honest. I couldn't stand speaking to him anymore.

"See you on the bus, man." I hear Jude say, giving Luis a handshake as he begins walking away. My eyes follow him, piercing into his back.

"See, that's the guy I was talking about." I hear Luis say, my head snapping towards the direction he was looking at.

"Which one-" I begin, shamelessly looking at the guy.

"What? No, are you serious?" I ask, appalled by the person he’s shipping me with.

"Yeah, he's cute for you." He mutters, giving me a smirk.

"You might be hungover still. Let's just get into the bus, please."

We pack our equipment up, starting to walk towards the team buses. Successfully helping fellow staff with the multiple suitcases and bags and stepping up into the vehicle.

We greet the players we make eye contact with, the both of us walking along the occupied seats until we finally find two empty ones next to each other.

"I'm tired..." I mumble, leaning my back against the seat, closing my eyes as I get comfortable. Leaving my phone on my lap.

"I can see that." I hear Luis reply, and I open one of my eyes to give him an offended look.

"How sweet of you." I reply, trying to take a quick fifteen-minute nap. Running around for more than two hours with five hours of sleep was not for the weak.

I was part of the weak.

I hear the sound of a notification, surprised it could be heard through all of the chatter and banter of everyone in the bus.

"Was that your phone?" I ask, leaning my head against the window.

"No, it was yours." Luis answers.

"Can you read it for me? You know my password."

I feel my phone being removed from my lap, a second of silence from Luis before he starts laughing uncontrollably.

"What?" I ask, getting curious.

What could be that funny?

"It's a DM from a Chris on Instagram."

"Who the fuck is Chris?" I ask, finally opening my eyes to take my phone back. My eyes roaming around the screen, reading a short message with a 'view once’ photo.

"Thought you repped Valencia?"

I read the message out loud, looking back at Luis, confused. Then I look at the profile picture.

"Oh my god! It's the guys from the boat!" I shout, embarrassed when I realize I was being louder than necessary.

"The one you talked about?"

"Yeah- wait, what do you think the photo is?" I ask, starting to feel squirmy.

"A dick pic." I hear Luis whisper.

"Who got a dick pic?"

I hear someone ask, looking at the row behind me. Jude peeking his head in between our headrests.

"Not you, so mind your own business.." I reply, moving my phone out of his view and returning to my conversation with Luis. Ignoring the daggers he’s sending me with his piercing gaze.

"No way, gross. He looked desperate, but no way."

"Well, click on it."

"No, now I'm scared. Why would you even bring that up?"

"Just squint."

I huff, leaning back against the widow, squinting as I press on the photo.

"Oh-" I exclaim, taking a deep, relieved breath.

Thankfully, it’s not an explicit picture, but a photo of me at the stadium we were just at, prematch to be specific. From the angle, you could tell the photo was taken from the stands.

"Wait- what the fuck? He was there? Ew, why did he take a photo of me?” I say, showing Luis the screen.

I watch his mouth fall open. He reaches over, taking my phone from me and screenshots the photo.

"That's why he sent that message. You lied to him about yourself, right?"

"Of course I did!" I say, snatching the phone from his hand.

"What do I say?" I ask, looking at him with a questioning look.

"Do you even want to speak to him?"

"Well- I'm bored?" I give him a grin, his arm coming to push me.

“I can’t stop you, but you said he looked like trouble, so ignore him..." He advises, squeezing my arm.

I nod at his words, taking them in. I swipe to press the mute button on the chat, and turn my phone off.

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham x reader #jude x reader #jude bellingham imagine #real madrid fc #jude bellingham fanfic #footballer x reader #football imagines #football fanfic #football imagine #bellingham x reader #real madrid

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cosmichoneibeee · 1 year

Text

Dating Gekko hcs

Words: +/- 4.8k

Warnings: None | Reader is GN

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠

Friends to lovers trope all the way

You were already friends for a long time

He knows everything about you and you know everything about him

Flesh and nail

Everywhere you go, he goes too and vice-versa

Takes a while for him to realise it's not only friendship

It started with him feeling his heart race every time you smiled or hugged him or treated the pets well.

Then he became jealous every time you went on dates with other people. He wanted to be your companion those nights, but without being romantically or anything, pff.

Next came a bizarre urge to show himself off to you, doing crazy skateboarding tricks, bringing you food, or flowers the creatures found lying around, completely changing his haircut, anything that could keep your attention on it.

"Hey [y/n], this one's for you." *throws basketball into the basket and completly misses*

He really wanted to declare himself soon and not be embarrassed in front of you anymore, but what if that ruined your friendship?

To add to the nervousness, he also doesn't have much experience with relationships. What if he screws up?

After a long time taking courage and planning, he defined what he wanted to do.

It had to be something romantic and memorable, like the soap operas his mother watched every night

But when the time came and he had to actually say it all loud, it seems that all the text he had meticulously prepared had gone out of his mind and he had to improvise.

Stuttering and trembling, he said what his heart wanted at the moment. It was a little messy but it was cute.

Blushing mess when you kissed him. He felt in heaven at that moment, like everything was in place.

He will tell the news to his mom the moment he gets home and she's so happy for him, already planning what she will cook on your wedding.

She already got mad at him for piercing his ears, getting tattoos, dyeing his hair..getting a partner definitely won't make her lose her mind. She already loves you

She also loves the good influence you pass on to her son.

She's your ally and she will talk non stop about how to treat the person you love right with Gekko.

When it comes to Reyna, it takes more time to him to open up..everytime he tried felt super weird

She's not dumb though, she catches what's going on rather quickly

Reyna didn't like you very much at first, thinking about you made Mateo totally lose focus on training, it was annoying.

But she knows how much you mean to him, so now you're under her protective wings too.

Totally open to getting matching tattoos, the more outlandish and unique the more he'll be excited by ideas (seriously, look at his arms)

He won't mind changing his hair colour to match yours

The chillest man in the world

And the most passionate too

Feeling down? Gekko is in charge for the Happy Partner mission. Compliments? Hugs? Advices? He can give you everything, baby, just ask.

He just wants to see that pretty smile on your face.

But despite that, there are times when he is the one who needs comfort, especially after particularly difficult missions. He just wants to be next to you a whole day, reasuring that everything will be alright

It's in those moments that he realizes how short and strange life is, he needs to enjoy the moments he has with you as much as possible

Loves to give you presents and spend time with you and his creatures

When he has a day off at the Protocol, he takes you around town and enjoys the places he likes best, especially having bobba tea.

Please, let Wingman throw away the cups, he loves doing that.

If you don't know how to skate, he'll teach you and he'll make sure you wear all the safety equipment - if you can, with some pillows too.

If you already know how to skate, get ready for non-stop competition: tricks competition, speed, in the park, in the street, there's always something new to try.

Wants to learn your language (if you're not English or Spanish speaker) to comunicate better and lowkey hopes you'll also try to learn his too, even if it's just simple words

In general, a very dedicated partner, still learning about love but giving 1000% of him for anything you need.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠

@ Do not copy any of my works, translate and/or post it on others websites.

#valorant #valorant imagines #valorant headcanons #valorant x reader #valorant x you #valorant gekko #gekko #gekko x reader #gekko x you

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hoeforinarizaki · 1 year

Text

FOREVER HERE.

Type: Headcanons

Nekoma x Manager!GN!Reader

Summary: Since you wanted to join a club to pass the time, now you pretty much were recruited into the boy's volleyball club as a manager. How did this happen again‐?

Warnings: Bad Pun Jokes, Nekoma VBC being simps

Nekoma:

NAW BECAUSE THEY ARE SO CHAOTIC?? 😭

Literally Kuroo will not stop his subtle flirting, and not to mention the terrible pun jokes it comes with.

You began to rethink your choices of becoming their manager at some point, i know it. From the amount of stupidity they gave you...how are you still alive?–

Lev always sticks around you. He's probably developed a puppy crush on you and it's so adorable hrgghh 💕

Kenma doesn't often talk to you, but since you play games as well i guess it just kind of clicked.

Ya'll are inseparable so everyone is highkey lowkey jelly~

"KenMAA stop hogging them!" "They hung out with me and chose to stay with me first. Shut up." He spoke an actual sentence, that's surprising 🤠

Now, don't even get me started on Yamamoto. Dude is a feral (Y/N) simp and will never stop being one 💀👌

Can't reach the shelf? He's on it! Forgot your bento? Hehe, maybe you can...share?~ Feel cold? Have his jacket! Totally not an excuse to make it smell like you–

Everyone catches on quickly and for real, you swear you can feel their gazes burning through you omg 😭

Fukunaga loves it when you laugh hard at his jokes.

And PLSSS Inuoka tries so hard to act chill around you but end up tripping or looking bad in the end, poor guy–

During every match, don't worry about having any other team checking you out the boys will literally turn into actual cats and be HOSTILE 100% 👹

Like this emoji 🏃 they will run to you at full speed and intimidate everyone so bad. Their eyes be glowing like don't mess with them buddy.

Yaku and Kai is in charge of making sure everyone isn't doing anything weird when you're not there.

But cannot actually since they might a little more chaotic when you're sick...DAMN why are they crying? You won't die from a little fever chill 💀

Despite all that, Yuki tries his best to be noticed by you.

Boy always thinks you don't care because you barely even breathed in his direction.

But that changed when you greeted him the next week at school and gave him a small bag of his favorite cookies. Like he was so shocked 😃💅

Ma'am you fr right now?–

These guys will not let go you, sorry, but no one else is allowed the manager position like you.

Kuroo comes to you one day like, "Are you like copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe." Please stop him, he won't until you actually say it–

Now him, Yamamoto & Lev are all telling you stupid pickup lines and now you can't escape it MUAHAHA 👹

Take it or receive it. You have these boys for the rest of your school life...and maybe even for the rest of your life.

They ain't loosing contact with you wdym pff 💀 so i guess, you're forever here. In nekoma.

#haikyu x reader #haikyuu!!#nekoma high #anime x y/n #anime and manga #x reader #nekoma hcs #nekoma x reader #kuroo testuro #kenma hcs #yaku morisuke #kai nobuyuki #yuki shibayama #fukunaga x reader #yamamoto x reader #nekoma x manager #lev haikyuu #inuoka x reader

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koumeowkami · 9 months

Note

OHHH btw I used to have an insane 2winmez brainrot too so I get you so much. I started with the Nayu-Hina and Kana-Yuta parallel too but then I moved on to something else and I actually believe that it'd be fun to see Yuta and Nayuta interacting, I think Nayu would definitely feel that Yuu is similar to Kanata and would (perhaps) become comfortable in his presence a bit easier?

As for Kanata and Hinata I have a whole writing in which Kanata starts being so annoying by Hina because he's unbearable until they reach. a point. in which Hina opens himself and Kanata sees past his cheerful facade and sees all the pain. It's then when he understands, and perhaps he also sees that at the end of the day, he's not too different from Nayu, but to him either. As a person who sacrificed everything for their beloved brother.

I think that once they bond they'd understand each other so much. Both pairs have a reason to respect the other because they literally match each other's moral criteria which is insane to me. I also want to see the Aois teaching the Yatonokami some acrobatics while skating because I'm so fucking sure Kanata would be like "pff I can do that too obviously" and proceed to fail miserably

(srry for the amount of text, my brain randomly started braining and I had to share)

ngl the pairings are pretty changeable cause generally speaking they all get along well together!! and i get that nayuta would feel at ease with yuta since his attitude is similar to kanata's, he'd be instantly attracted to him and maybeeee finally have a chance to be a kind of an older brother (since he can't do that with kanata) ???? tho yuta probably wouldn't let him do that, i don't think nayuta would baby him a lot since he doesn't like that either djdbdj

kanata would definitelyyyyy get closer to hina once he finds out his true feelings, i really think he would relate a lot to him and hinata would even help him understand nayuta's point of view better?

GOD THE AOIS TEACHING ACROBATICS TO KANATA WOULD BE SO FUNNY. i think kanata would hate being taught something since he's a bit prideful (hence him immediately trying to do that and failing miserably) but then end up loving it and probably mixing it with his breakdancing!!

anyways DON'T BE SORRY AT ALL. please share more if you can !!!! i love having people to ramble about 2winmez with 🩷💜

#ask #🌠; lis!#2winmez brainrot #it takes 3 people to form a cult. please join us

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purplerose244 · 9 months

Text

Watched the ninth episode of LEGO DreamZzz: LOVED IT!

So, I might be crazy, but I think I saw a video on Youtube saying that... there are episodes after the tenth? Like another set of ten episodes? Is this for real? I'D BE VERY HAPPY IF IT WAS BUT I'M NOT SURE IF IT'S TRUE 🥹

Edit: NEW EPISODES INCOMING SOON I'M SO HAPPY AAAAAAAAAA- 😍😍😍😍😍

I'm curious on how the finale will play out, I'm pretty confident Logan will do something stupid as it is basically his meme at this point, as for the rest do we have enought time to meet the Sandman at this point?

GOTTA SEE TO FIND OUT!

SHORT SHEEPED

Alright, my guess is that the title is a play on words with the fact that it's sheep week... but I can't tell what it is so I guess I'll move on 😅

Wait

WAIT

OMG I'M SO STUPID THE SHEEPS ARE BECAUSE OF THE DREAMS

I was wondering why choosing this animal, lol, and the Wolves are the enemies so yeah that makes sense 😂

Back to Logan making very questionable choices, including breaking in!

He might actually have less self esteem than Mateo at this point, which is a pretty low bar if I may say. While Teo is getting more confidence, it looks like Logan is losing it, interesting parallel

LOGAN WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS 😱😱

Also I just noticed that Lance got Kai's LEGO hair model, kinda funny seeing this with Vincent's new character

No I will not stop talking about Vincent Tong I love him and he deserves it ❤️

Not sorry

I don't think I'll get over having the Nightmare King going bro or dude 🤣

Aaaand the boy got taken

AAAAND BEFORE THE MATCH LOGAN YOU COULD HAVE DONE IT AT ANY OTHER GIVEN TIME WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE NOW 😱😱😱😱

I think Logan improved some, I scream at him mostly because he's a doofus that needs some judgement

Maybe that's why he hangs with Cooper lol

Yooo look at Coop not taking any more of Logan's crap, I'd say he's forgiven a gargantuan amount of flaws in that guy so it makes sense for him to be at his tipping point at last 🤷🏻‍♀️

Wait wait WAIT did he say "at the Hamptons with his moms"? Like a couple of moms? I don't wanna read this wrong and maybe it's mom's for some reason, but if it was it would be AWESOME 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

WAIT ARE WE INVITING ZOEY IN?? PLEASE SAY YES 😍😍

Izzie got powers beyond our imagination, and I don't know if I wanna know what she said to the coach 😂

Pff Z is just there eating chips

WHY DID YOU THROW THE BALL AT Z BLOB I LAUGHED AT THAT SCENE FOR AN HOUR WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME LOOK AT THAT SLIME 😂💚😂💚

Heeeeeyyyyy Zoey!

After hearing that bit of backstory I feel sorry for her, but I agree with Mateo, she should do something other that plan revenge all night 😅

Aaaand she got offended. Plan was good Mateo, I was on board

BACK TO LOGAN'S VERY NOT GOOD DAY

I mean, we knew Lunia's hourglass was broken, I don't know why they thought it would work just like that

I just realized that the Night Hunter's VA is Alessandro Juliani, and I'm still amazed by this guy because he is seemingless! I can never recognize him on my own, he blends with his characters so well it's so cool 💚💚

TEO IS SO SWEET I SWEAR 😭😭 I like that at first it seemed like him and Zoey had nothing in common, but in fact they both have problems with people

ZOEY IS NOT TAKING ANY CRAP AND SHE'S OFFICIAL ON THE TEAM 😍😍😍

I love this sassy girl so much

DUDE LOGAN YOU LOOK ADORABLE WITHOUT YOUR HAT 😍

Huh, I... huh. I did not expect Logan to actually befriend one of those creatures, but I think it has a nice sense to it. If there is someone treating the whole dream situation chaotically, it has to be him

Aaaand they're gonna use that against him. Great 😰 Also do all creatures form the Dream World like chips?

Yeah, sorry Teo, but if you wanna be the protagonist you gotta learn how to make inspiring speech during difficult times. That's just the rule 🤷🏻‍♀️

Logan is still looking for ways to dream craft, huh? Poor guy just wants to be part of the team... he has a bit of a confused perception of how to be a team player, granted, but poor Logs 😅

Nuuuu don't make Logan fight his new friend, why?? Is crafting without a hourglass even useful, like, it's possible and we saw it but I don't really know to which extent it can be brought without hourglass

... that's actually an interesting thought 🤔

NEVER MIND THAT SOCCER FIGHT SOCCER FIGHT

Cooper is the goal keeper then?

Why are these kids playing dirty and why does it make sense this is middle school?

YOOOOO LOGAN TURNED INTO A LITTLE BLUE CREATURES WHAT THE HECK IS THAT WHAT HE WAS TURNING INTO THE OTHER TIMES HE WENT BLUE?!?!

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

YOU DID NOT PUT ZOEY DOWN 😡😡😡

Yeeeee, that's it Mateo! That's how you inspire people! 😍 Of course he got mad after they went after Zoey 💕

THE FLIPPING CHICKEN 😂😂😂 Mah boy here is creative everywhere

LOGAN IS KILLIN IT, LOOK AT HIM GO

TEO MADE A GOAL!!!!!!!! MY BABY MADE IT YES!!!!!!!! I LOVE THESE KIDS SO MUCH YOU GUYS MADE IT!!!!!!!!! 💚🩷❤️💜

AAAAAAAAAAA LOOK AT THOSE HUGS OMG AAAAAAAA 😍🥰🥰🥰😍🥰🥰😍😍😍🥰🥰😍🥰😍🥰 You don't understand, I LOVE LEGO hugs for whatever reason! Cooper hugged Izzie and made her swirl!! 😍😍😍😍 ZOEY PICKED UP MATEO!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 Zoey is a strong girl, Mateo got great taste

Aww, Logan gave up on the power! Good on him... after making a HUGE mess, but baby steps as always 😅

Oh yeah you guys should head to where Logan is, only to tell him you won... no other reason other than celebrating... no reason at all... did I say no reason?

Okay maybe one reason

So the finale is saving Logan? I mean, they're pretty good at saving people, I'd say it can end pretty well! 💪💪

LOOKING FORWARD TO THE (possibly) LAST EPISODE OF THIS BEAUTIFUL SHOW 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

#not the last anymore #i left this in the drafts for so long #but i'm back baby!!#lego dreamzzz #dreamzzz #dreamzzz mateo #dreamzzz izzie #dreamzzz logan #dreamzzz cooper #dreamzzz zoey #dreamzzz z blob #mateo #izzie #logan #zoey #z blob #cooper

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misshoneyimhome · 3 months

Text

「PROMPTS」

What’s up, lovely people!

So I’ve finally managed to put together a prompt list (as requested by some of you, sorry for the delay) 🤍 I hope it’s useful - otherwise just let me know 😊

Feel free to use it however, you'd like 😊 Mix and match to your heart desire! Sending love to each and every one of you 🙏🏼

[Changes may happen]

・✶ ｡ﾟ

⚡️ smut/mature content // 🌶️ smut/explicit content 🌺 fluff/romance 🔥 angst/drama 😂 funny/comical 📸 mood board/AU Instagram 💭 blurb

・✶ ｡ﾟ

Feel like parring with an already existing story?

「Intern x Willy」 ; 「Inexperienced!reader x Willy」 ; 「Dad!Willy x reader」 ; 「Prof!Willy x reader」

・✶ ｡ﾟ

Song inspiration

Dress - “I don’t want you like a best friend”

Happier - “I could try to smile to hide the truth. But I know I was happier with you.”

Style - “And when we go crashing down (now we go), we come back every time”

AM - “won’t you stay till the AM?”

Pretty Boys - “Don’t tempt me ‘cause I just might stay for another glass of wine”

Perfect - “I might never be your knight in shinin' armor”

Black and White - "I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life"

Nonsense - “I’ll be honest, looking at you got me thinking nonsense”

Señorita - “you say we’re just friends - but friends don’t know the way you taste”

Fall so hard - “For the first time I’ve got everything to lose”

・✶ ｡ﾟ

Quotes

"Please come to bed"

“Next time, maybe i’ll buy you dinner first.”

“I get it now… you’ve never been in love.”

“I can keep you warm”

“No, I’m not leaving you like this!”

“Just tell me what you want.”

“I want you.”

“Just tell me I’m the one.”

“You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad.”

“Don’t fucking touch what isn’t yours!”

“That’s him/her? Pff, they’re nothing compared to me, baby.”

“So you think my legs are just going to magically open for you?”

“If you’re going to fuck your way to the top, you might as well do it with someone who can make you rich.”

“I want you....here.... right now”

“I’m going to fuck your so hard you’re going to forget that guy's name”

"I fit perfectly in your arms." / “You fit perfectly in my arms.”

“You can rest your head on me, I don’t mind.”

“I just can’t say no to you.”

“You think you can just run that pretty mouth of yours whenever you want?!”

“Oh, well fuck me, then.”

“Can you help me with my tie?” / “Can you zip up my dress for me?”

“That outfit looks good on you. But, you’d also look good without the outfit.”

“Hey–you’ve got a little something on your face–”

“My dogs don’t usually like strangers- oh apparently they like you…”

“If only I could turn back time”

"I don't like perfect..."

"You're perfect to me."

・✶ ｡ﾟ

Actions/themes

Being stopped when sneaking out after a one-night-stand

Late night sex / Lazy morning sex

Friends-to-lovers first time

Strangers-to-lovers first time

Buying a drink - a cup of coffee

Fighting over some ridiculous

Fighting leading to beak up

Making up after a break up

Meeting the family for the first time

Spending the holidays together

Talking about the future

Running into an ex girlfriend/boyfriend

Marriage proposal / wedding

Pregnancy/children

#; my writing #; prompt list

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ratsoh-writes · 2 years

Note

And last one <3 S/O and Skelly boy have three kids. The kids are under Dad's supervision right now, and they want to sneak out to go outside. So the older one has the best plan. They're going to tie their Dad with scarves so they can leave. They can't fail, it's obviously a genius plan. How would the main ten react from being "violently" attack from three sides? One kid is trying to tie the body, the other the hands and the last one the legs.

Sans: he just lets them. And when sans is securely tied down, he’ll grin evilly and stand up as the ropes fall. His kids scream and scatter lol. They thought. Well think again ya little buggers. They never know how sans always seems to dodge their attempts at mischief

Papyrus: he somehow turns the experience into a big lesson on tying knots and how to make cool shapes with the ropes. His oldest asks if he was in the scouts when he was a kid? Papyrus just winks and says “SOMETHING LIKE THAT~”

Star: bruh, they only get to tie him down if they can catch him. Chances are, stars kids are going to be just as wild as him, so they keep up for quite a while. Unfortunately the kiddos are no match for stars adult speed and endurance. But he successfully wears his kiddos out just in time for bedtime! Mission accomplished!

Honey: he likes the gentle parenting technique of “if you tie me up you’re never seeing another one of my cookies for the rest of the week”. Honey raised a horde of foodies. There’s no worse fate than being banned from dads baking. The kids immediately go play with play dough instead

Red: he high key adores play fighting with his niblings and will wrestle the three kids for a bit. Red even lets them win too. Of course as soon as they’re out the door, red easily escapes the flimsy knots. He’ll let them play outside for a bit. Red is pretty indulgent when SO isn’t around

Edge: really? Scarves? Cmon, edge taught them better. Plus their other parent likes those and wouldn’t want them getting wrinkled. Like papyrus, edge winds up spending time with the kiddos showing them some cool knots with the rope in the backyard. He gets creative with the kiddos and they make some hanging flower pots.

Mal: pff, not today you brats. Mal easily dodges their attempt and tickles all three of the imps for their audacity. Mal is a pretty goofy dad when he’s not on work mode. He’s happy to play with his kids

Cash: oh? They’re challenging him? The king of play fights? His kids are going down. Cash sumo slams all three onto the couch. His kids LOVE this and it turns into a long time of cash giving all three brats turns being thrown onto the couch. When SO comes home, cash is gonna be so tired. That was a workout for him.

Oak: like sans, he just lies back and lets it happen lol. However the kiddos know not to stay out of oaks sight in case their dad “gets lost” so they tied him to the rocking chair in the backyard. He can rock in place and supervise them easily from his seat. SO is gonna come home to the hilarious sight of the kids making mud houses and their soulmate tied to the chair telling them to decorate them with more rocks.

Willow: he can’t really play too rough with his kids because he’ll throw out his back. So willow sadly has to shut this down. It’s a great day though! It would be a waste to spend it indoors. Willow takes the kiddos to the lake to play in the water!

#undertale imagines #undertale headcanons #undertale #underswap #underfell #swapfell #horrortale

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apex-academy · 7 months

Text

Chapter 6: The Decay of Our Lives (#12)

I make my rounds from task to task all evening, and Aidan has to remind me to sit down for a minute at some point. Even so, I’m pretty exhausted by the time 9:00 hits. At least the bedsheet “screen” seems to be holding up despite Ichiriki’s best efforts to not perform his task.

Despite our event being a movie, there’s no popcorn this time—trying not to think too hard about who made the last batches—just some fruit, veggies, and a nacho bar that no one with an appreciation of symmetry could stand if all the lights were still on.

There were only so many matching containers in the kitchen, okay?

There’s also a big jug of hand sanitizer, in case anyone doesn’t want to take five more steps to go wash their hands in their dorm bathroom. Or someone else’s. Most of us are set up with chairs at our own doorways, but Kanagi’s apparently crashed Ichiriki’s to be a little closer to the screen. Tsunyasha’s room is even farther, but I think she’s more interested in watching the rest of us than the movie, anyway. Not sure what she’s got against the silver screen, but as long as she’s not stirring up trouble, I can’t complain.

Aidan and I ended up with front-row tickets, so he doesn’t have much issue getting people’s attention as he prepares to start the movie.

“It is now 9:00 PM, and our feature film will be beginning shortly!”

“First, I do want to thank everyone for coming, and for your cooperation in getting everything set up!”

“Should you need to take a break or start to nod off—well, your rooms are right there, nehe.”

“But, as far as what you can stand, I’m confident we can all enjoy this event if we only allow ourselves to.”

“So, grab some food while we’ve still got it, and we’ll get this thing off the ground, shall we?”

Kanagi cheers, while Tsunyasha almost seems to consider a sporting and/or sarcastic clap before focusing on her food instead. Mahavir remains a few awkward paces back from his doorway, like he’s unsure if he’s supposed to have his door closed for this. Don’t think that’d be a great way to see the movie, though.

“Just allow ourselves to enjoy things, huh.”

I side-eye Ichiriki, but he’s busy... filing his nails? Sure, why not. Makes it easier on the rest of us if his concentration’s elsewhere.

At least, until he gets bored in a few minutes and starts complaining again.

Aidan whoops back, then makes sure he and his poof of hair are out of everyone’s way before hitting play. Despite a few ripples in the bedsheet Ichiriki put up, the picture and audio seem to be working just fine. Aidan’s chosen video opens with an airplane moving through the clouds.

How shocking.

I’m probably paying more attention to my food than the movie as it leads us into an airport. Not like things have gotten good yet. Just... a little weird.

We manage to make it a few jokes(?) in before Kanagi cackles loud enough to overcome the soundtrack.

“Did...”

“Did you actually get that pun? I wasn’t sure how well these would go with a Japanese audience.”

“Pff, nah, I totally don’t get it at all! I can just tell it’s funny, dude.”

“...Good enough!”

With that, we’re back to actually being able to hear the movie. It’s really not getting any less absurd. All right.

“........”

“This is SO unrealistic.”

Ah, there he goes. I check over my shoulder, but so far Ichiriki doesn’t seem to be up to any crimes besides eating nachos with a fork and knife.

We didn’t even bring silverware over? Why is...

I’m not gonna worry about it. It’s Ichiriki. If it fits whatever his thing is now, he’ll find a way.

“It most certainly is!"

“Like, why would you want it to be real crap? We already get that with, like...”

“...real crap.”

“But surely any departures from your sad, limited reality should be more glorious than this?”

“Tales of heroes, rather than...”

She shakes her head with an unenthusiastic gesture at the screen. I’m not sure what we missed there, but there sure are babies being thrown now. Amazing. This thing keeps oscillating between slapstick gags and extended-setup puns, and it’s hard to know what I should be paying attention to. Is there a plot?

“Not exactly as intellectual as I would have expected.”

“Hey now, some of those setups are quite clever!”

He makes a passing attempt to scoot towards me before deciding it’s too much effort. The gesture’s been made.

He lifts a hand near his mouth for his best stage whisper.

“And you know what? You’re allowed to laugh at stupid jokes, too.”

He mimes an elbow nudge that is both too far away and on the wrong side to actually reach me. Work with what he’s got, I guess.

“Thanks for the permission.”

“You’re very welcome! Use it well.”

“.........”

And back to the train wreck—plane wreck?—that is this movie. I guess it’s not terrible, just... Is there a plot yet?

We finally make it from the airport onto a plane when the camera focuses on some overhead service button labels. Simple enough English, just above something that is clearly not actual Spanish. The screen flicks back to the actual characters.

“Hey! HOW am I supposed to read a FOREIGN LANGUAGE that fast?!”

“Special training?”

“Oh no are we supposed to be reading.”

You... are at least reading the actual subtitles, right? Right?

“Well, we CERTAINLY aren’t if THAT’S all the time they’ll give us! UNBELIEVABLE!”

“Now, who’s this ‘they’ to whom you’re referring? Because...”

He pauses the movie—on a frame of a character looking even more nervous with the motion blur—and rewinds.

“...we have the technology to take as long as we need.”

He pauses on the text in question. The dorm hallway is infinitely quieter for a few moments.

“I STILL can’t read it! What GIVES?!”

“Yo, my name’s Ich, I’m 19 years old, and I never learned how to frickin’ read.”

“That fool is nineteen?”

“NO!!!”

Why is this happening.

“Er...”

A quiet but rough throat-clearing.

“If it’s of any assistance, I don’t believe that’s intended to be a faithful translation into... any existing language whatsoever.”

“So they MADE IT UP? Just for ONE movie? Who DOES that?!”

“That isn’t... precisely what I...”

“Oh, there’s a sequel, don’t worry!”

“I’m classifying that as a threat.”

“As you well should.”

Before this can devolve any further—I don’t know how it could, but with this team, anything is possible—he hits play again. Back to airplanes and flashbacks and whiplash every which way, with the whole bizarro tone being the only thing holding somewhat steady.

But none of us get up to leave. At least some people end up laughing from joke to joke—mostly Kanagi, but she’s been having a rough time of it. It’s nice to hear her back to normal.

Back to weird?

Anyway. It’s just a night of snorts and snickers, random interruptions that can’t take much away from a random movie, and general split attention between subtitles and congealing nacho cheese. I never burst out laughing, whether Aidan’s horribly disappointed in me or not, but a few moments catch me off-guard enough to get a good snort.

By the time the movie ends, Aidan and Mahavir have already retreated into their dorms to various degrees in case they pass out, which they do. Ichiriki has successfully kicked Kanagi out of his own room by virtue of shutting the door behind him when she went to grab a refill. She just booed at him and went to try Tsunyasha’s instead.

I wander back to the refreshments table and try not to pass out myself as the menu screen loops. I should probably turn that off, or something. Not sure I care enough.

“.....”

I’m tired. Not because it’s what-even-o-clock now, though that sure isn’t helping. There’s just too much to worry about. One bizarre lighthearted movie night isn’t going to fix that.

“But it wasn’t a bad break.”

[BACK] [NEXT]

#apexplot #apex6 #fangan

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magmacannon · 8 months

Note

3-7 for Yarrow, Reach, Dee, and Lanza :3c

yes... my Excellent Guys

Gonna do my best to make this understandable pff

3. Ask them to describe their love interest.

Yarrow - "Ohh well since we don't have all day, I'll just give you a little something. My dearheart is every bit the cliche 'knight in shining armor' with a nice fun streak of petty violence down the middle. He's got that distinguished sort of handsomeness about him whether he's in armor or lazing around in a nightgown that makes bothering him irresistible - he does like it, I promise! He knows me better than anyone else at this point; we've seen eachother through some extreme lows and have come out the other side stronger for it. I'm still a little amazed he's so genuinely enchanted with me - all of me, even when I'm doing pretty poorly! He makes me blush with how sweet he can be, which i can assure you is a feat at my age. Plus he's got fantastic big-dick energy and it's well-earned - wait where are you going? Too much? Ah well-"

Reach - "...I'd rather not say. He and I are on... uncertain terms. I'm trying to make things right. Somehow. I really don't know if it's possible. He's just... I need to repay him for all he's done for me, and I did the opposite of that, but. I'll do it or die trying."

Dehiscence - "Nelly? I don't have the words for that. She's perfect and kind. When she travels she brings me little cloth scraps and things to hold. She gets flustered easily. She hates blood even though there's so much of it in every person, including herself. I'd do anything for her."

Lanza - "Well thank you for ah, flattering me. I've got too much on my plate to be tied down right now, you see? I'm busy, come back in ten years or so and ask me again, capiche?"

4. Do they look good in red?

Yarrow - absolutely! Yarrow has the fashion sense and the time to make most any look work well, but red is one of the colors he prefers to wear (matches his eyes). It can be a little eye-searing at times, though.

Reach - He'd probably look really nice in some darker maroon-reds, but I don't think he has access to much red (or at least doesn't have it in his wardrobe??) I think he'd consider it too flashy.

Dee - Absolutely 100%, both when they have a red-toned mushroom growth and later when it's more brown/orange tones. I do think they'd prefer it as accents or (at most) a tank top - not too overwhelming

Lanza - out of all of these I think she'd have the most difficult time with making it work as she's got blue tones in her skin/hair.

5. Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech! Will they give one, and what about?

Yarrow - 99 times out of 100, Yarrow is prepared to give a short and effective speech at a party or some other social event. His ability to be Aware of the situation and vibe around him in those settings in nearly uncanny, so he very rarely has issues with these landing incorrectly! (when they don't go well it's a spectacular fumble)

Reach - He would NOT give one. Reach (especially in his older age) is extremely reserved and not really an orator. Unless he was in a small group of friends (genuinely at max 3 or 4 other people) he'd be too uncomfortable to speak - if the group was small though, he'd give a short two sentences about staying strong through cooperation or something similar to that.

Dee - You couldn't make Dee give a speech at their own wedding! Dee would write something thought-provoking but if someone tried to get them to say it they'd just Stare until the person left kfhfjdk

Lanza - At MOST Lanza would give a 5-word 'speech' in celebration or frustration with whatever event was happening. She has the confidence to roast someone if they keep pushing, too.

6. Who will they take advice from, no matter what it is? Who won’t they take advice from, no matter what it is?

Yarrow - Up until extremely recently, Yarrow would have answered this first question as "no one" - with a half-exception for therapists. Nowadays he's extremely wildly likely to listen to Kiro's advice, unless it relates to a few things that Yarrow thinks he handles better. Yarrow wouldn't take advice from anyone under 40 years old simply because they Do Not Know Enough, in his opinion. Also any paladin in his current city couldn't give him advice that he'd follow literally to save his life.

Reach - Without question, Reach would take advice from his higher-ups and from Sumet, his hunting partner and partner in all things (up until recently). Reach wouldn't ignore the advice of anyone, as he was trained to be big on cooperation and has a terrible need for answers in his current stage of life.

Dee - They're a very interesting case for this question because I think the only person they'd take advice from without question is Nelly's uncle, who has a very strong understanding of the issues Nelly is going through in regards to not following her family's traditional monster hunting job and who, while loved, is a bit of an outsider because (?) he took the same path. Other than that, Dee tens to weigh any opinion or advice against their own internal thoughts before acting on anything. They also tend to not take other people's advice at all unless they're someone they trust immensely.

Lanza - She's pretty strong-willed about a lot of things, so Lanza doesn't tend to trust anyone's advice implicitly! If they're an expert in something (personal or professional) that she doesn't know much about then she's likely, but not guaranteed, to listen to what they say. In her old setting I would have said she'd never follow the advice of her parents bc she was going through a 'rebel against old people' phase but honestly I don't think she's like that in other settings! She's just pretty headstrong still lol.

7. Describe them in three words. Now let them describe themself in three words.

Yarrow - I'd describe him as sharp, uncanny, and horny whereas he'd describe himself as "smart, gorgeous, and horny" or something along those lines pff

Reach - "Stubborn, misguided, and tired" are mine, Reach would likely call himself "worn, lost, and desperate". A younger Reach would have called himself sure, strong, and knowledgeable, though.

Dee - I'd say they're touch-starved, eerie, and like.... almost chivalrous??? perhaps like a loyal dog?? whereas they would describe themselves (if forced) as "reserved, tenacious, and steady".

Lanza - I get the privilege to call her a "fre-willed Italian butch(?)" whereas she'd call herself "free, skilled, and well-dressed"

#thanks for the ask!!!#I DID IT.... this one's big #c: Yarrow #c: Reach #c: Dehiscence #C: Lanza

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highlifeboat · 1 year

Note

AAAAANAVSJSBSJSMSHSKN IT LOOKS SO AWESOME!!! DANI BEING TEAM CAP AND BELENA HAVING TO MATCH WITH ELENA FOR THEIR DUOS!!!! AND OFC MECASSA BEING THE TEAM’S MOST ICONIC COUPLE!!! CASS’ SMILE AND HER TOOTH IS MISSING I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! ITS SO GREAT!!!! and fr tired ref mia and extreme sports mom alcina fits so well its hilarious. the game after alcina blew up she brought mia tims to:

“apologize, for my previous behaviour. however I trust that you’ll make better calls this time”

“is this a bribery, ma’am?”

“only for your forgiveness. I will still act justly for my daughters teams if another horrendous call is made.“

“…..cant wait….”

Everytime Mia sees she's reffing a game for one of Alcina's kids she has a small "Ah shit here we go again" moment. Alcina isn't the worst Sports Parent she's dealt with, though. At least the woman never tries to fight her. (Which is probably good, cause she's pretty sure Cina woud kick her teeth in)

Mia likes her job but you know she's a little tired of being yelled at. At least Alcina is nice enough to apologize for it (plus, free coffee sometimes is kinda nice)

Also I'm glad you appreciate Team Cap Dani pff. You just know she's great at thinking up team strats and hyping everyone up before games. (Or making everyone feel better after a loss)

I also wanna throw out the idea that like... Cassandra definitely brings Mel to like after game stuff. Like, team goes out for pizza or to Timmies to celebrate a win? She's bringing her beautiful girlfriend with her 100%. And Mel is happy to tag along, it's nice to have an excuse to go out and have fun.

#asks #anons #canadian village #mecassa #daximus #belena #miacina

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millenialfanfictionaddiction · 2 years

Text

👑 Being Seijoh's Manager 👑

🏐Miss Manager Plays Volleyball🏐

*not me using any excuse to use all the Seijoh gifs

Seijoh 4/ Aoba Joshai Team x Female Manager/Volleyball Player

Warnings: swearing

A/N: This is a request from @foxysdump!

The undeniable talent you hold YN

Not only are you freaking awesome in every single way possible

But now you play volleyball too 😱

Seriously tho, how cool!

Let's just say you are the captain of the Aoba Joshai's Girls Volleyball team 🙌🏻

The Queen of the Court?

Nah we wouldn't want to impose on Oiks

But seriously, everyone knows who you are 😍

Everyone adores you

You are smart, kind, funny and an amazing team leader

You are friends with everyone in school

Including the Seijoh 4 ✌🏻

Well mostly Iwaizumi, Makki and Mattsun

A certain SOMEONE 👀 gets a bit jealous of you

I wouldn't whom ever that could be 🤪

NE WAYS, you hang out with our favorite dream team often

So when Iwaizumi brings up that the team needs help to prepare for fall prelims, you happily offer your assistance 😊

They immediately take it

Iwaizumi because he knows how helpful you will be

And Makki/Mattsun because they know it will grind Oikawa's gears 😅

So when you show up before everyone else and start setting up, it's not a surprise

I mean you are driven

ITS ABOUT DRIVE, ITS ABOUT POWER

God someone take tik tok away from me 😃

Back on track

Ok so you are setting up when a certain someone just happens to be walling through

You 👉🏻 😇🙋‍♀️

Makki/Mattsun 👉🏻😗 🎶

Iwaizumi 👉🏻😐😑

The rest of Seijoh 👉🏻🍿🧎‍♂️🧎

Oikawa 👉🏻😳🤨

Mans is going through denial

"What is she doing here?"- jerky-kawa

Iwaizumi 👉🏻😠👊🏻

"IWA-CHAN" 😭😭😭

"I invited her Shittykawa so be nice!"

Honestly you don't know what just happened

It kind of feels like a fever dream 😅

This team gives me whiplash

Anyways, Oikawa will stare glare at you the entire time

You've done nothing wrong

You help Yahaba with his form

Kindaichi and Mattsun with their read blocking

Even Mad Dog is listening to you 😲

Makki and Kunimi are laughing with you about a meme

Meanwhile Oikawa is off sulking

Like come on YN, you really think you could just waltz into HIS practice

We need a plan 📕

What's one thing Oiks loves more that Milk Bread?

Praise 👏🏻

We will win him over

So when Iwaizumi asks you to set for him, you glance to Oikawa

"Hey Toru-"

That's good YN, using first names is good 👍🏻

"Do you think you could show me how Iwaizumi likes his spikes? I mean you really are the expert"

Like you could have just asked Iwa YN

He's right there like 🧍‍♂️

But it's a process, trust is

"Pff, I suppose"

Stage 1 is complete 🏆

Next we include him

I have a great idea 💡

Let's have a practice match!

Team Oikawa vs Team YN 👏🏻

Battle of the captains!

Oikawa happily agrees

Mattsun and Makki are stunned 😲

Iwaizumi is rolling his eyes 🙄

You choose teams

Everyone wanted to be on Team YN

This made Oikawa SO mad 😅

You get Makki, Maddog, Yahaba, Mattsun and Watari

Solid Team YN, solid 👌🏻

Of course Oiks is up to serve first

His serve blasts past you

No chance anyone could get that rocket 🚀

It's fine, we use the opportunities we are given

"OMG TORU THAT WAS AMAZING! CAN YOU SHOW ME HOW TO DO THAT?"

Remember how Noya responded to Oiks serve in season 2

Give us that energy YN 👏🏻

"Well I mean I can try"- Oiks

He starting to come around YN

The nail in the coffin comes during the second set

Of course, you are graced with one of Oikawa's beautiful setter dumps

God we all love to see them 🙏🏻

"Holy CRAP! That was so perfect Toru! I'm so bad at dumps! I'd love to learn from a pro like you"

Lay it on thicc YN

Don't worry we forgive you 😘

Oikawas is just like

"👁👄👁 ummm yeah I guess that was pretty great. I mean people expect greatness from me!"

Barf 🤮🤮🤮

Iwaizumi, Mattsun and Makki are all rolling their eyes 🙄🙄🙄

But Toru is now completely team YN 👏🏻

"Iwa-chan, why didn't you being YN earlier to our practice? It's clear she can use all the help I have to offer"

You have to push Oiks out of the way before he gets a concussion YN 🙅

Kindaichi is holding Iwa back again

Makki and Mattsun are laughing 😂

Kunimi is totally recording the whole thing 🤳🏻

Oiks has his hand around your shoulders

He's planning bestie dates for after practice

What did you expect YN 😘

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just-a-torn-up-masterpiece · 2 years

Text

is that dirty enough for you?

masterlists

Pairing - Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary - After constant flirting, you and Natasha finally show each other how you feel during a Stark party... in a bathroom...

18+ : Smut; bathroom sex, suggestive conversation, thigh riding, kind of rough kissing ig

Word Count - 2522

You checked your reflection in the mirror, red dress reaching your mid-thigh and hugging your figure perfectly showing off your body in all the right ways. You stepped into some red heels, accessorising with a dainty golden necklace and a couple of rings to match. You tousled your hair slightly to make it look as you wanted, turning to the side slightly to check your reflection - you looked hot if you do say so yourself. Today was another of Tony's parties, not your favourite way to spend the evening but at least you could find good company.

You made your way down to where all the guests were gathered, sneaking in when everyone arrived to avoid any awkward moments, eyes scanning the crowds. Tony was being his usual self, probably bragging about some scientific thing to men in suits. Wanda, Pietro, Sam, Bucky, Maria and Steve sat together, drinks in hand as they chatted - Pietro and Sam no doubt making stupid jokes. You smiled at your dysfunctional group of friends before heading over to them.

"Hey!" Wanda grinned as you approached. "You look amazing." She added, she helped you choose your outfit and even leant you a couple of the rings you were wearing - having a best friend who own what seems like a million rings has its perks.

"Thanks, so do you." You smiled back, the black dress she was wearing making her look amazing, her hair in a loose yet tidy bun on her head. "You all clean up pretty well - I suppose." You added with a mock eye roll as you observed the others.

"Yeah yeah, admit you want a bit of this." Sam smirked, a playful glint in his eye.

"Pff, you wish. I think she'd rather have a bit of this." Maria added jokingly though her and Wanda know about your slight crush on a certain red headed member of the Avengers.

"I think she'd rather have a bit if this actua-" Pietro started.

"Okay, that's enough now." You laughed cutting him off, the others giggling at the groups antics. "There's plenty of me to go around." You winked with a smile, sitting in the empty space beside Wanda, stealing the glass of red wine from her hand and taking a sip.

"You little shit." She gasped, nudging you with her elbow before prising the glass from your hand. "Go and get your own, suka." You gasped at her words, placing a hand over your heart in mock offence.

"Rybak rybaka vidit izdaleka." You smiled back as you stood to walk away receiving a grin and a middle finger from her in retaliation. Bucky and Pietro laughing at your interaction.

You walked over to the bar seeing Natasha standing behind it sipping a drink, you made eye contact with her as you approached before her eyes raked over your body; trailing down to your feet before slowly making their way back up to your now blushing face, smirking behind her glass.

"Hey Spidey." You smirked, her eyes rolling playfully.

"I hate it when you call me that."

"What else do you want me to call you, Natty?"

"I'm sure I could think of a few things." She smirked, green eyes staring intently into yours, you bit your lip slightly to keep back the large smile fighting its way to the surface as you blushed, shaking your head slightly at her flirting. This was usual for the two of you, constant flirting bouncing between you you're just not sure whether she means it like you do.

"I'm sure you could." You smiled, earning a flirty grin back.

"You want a drink?"

"Please. Surprise me, make it dirty." You answered making her give you a flirtatious smirk as she grabbed a glass. She poured a few different types of liquor into a shaker, adding some ice and shaking it, pouring the slightly blue coloured liquid into the glass in front of you.

"Is that dirty enough for you?" She queried, voice low and raspy, a light shiver dancing across your spine. She watched as you took a sip, eyes looking at the rings adorning your fingers. "Nice rings, I'm sure I could find something for those fingers to do." You choked on the liquid in your throat at her statement, both of you laughing slightly.

You continued to sip on your drink, making sure she knows her mixologist skills are greatly appreciated, as you made idle chit chat, flirtatious comments still flying and eyes occasionally wandering as she leant on the bar. She made you both another drink before making her way round to the same side as you, perching on a stool beside you as your conversation carried on, knees touching with your proximity.

Neither of you were drunk but you'd both had a couple of drinks making you tipsy, confidence coursing through both of you as you flirted. "Fuck, you look so hot tonight." She breathed, hand on your bare thigh where your dress had ridden up in your seated position giving it a slight squeeze. You felt a slight pull of arousal at her action, breath hitching in your throat. "I'm going to the bathroom." She announced standing, leaning forward so her lips brushed against your ear, "You can join me if you like."

You watched her hips sway as she walked away from you, her dress hugging her figure as she strutted away, auburn locks bouncing slightly on her shoulders with each step. You shook your head slightly in disbelief - is this really happening? - gulping the last drops from the bottom of your glass before following where she went.

The door was closed as you approached it, as you raised your hand to knock the handle lowered and it opened - Nat know doubt using her spy skills to hear you approaching. She grasped your hand pulling you into the room with her, you stumbled forward slightly pressing against her as you did so, faces so close you could feel the heat of her breath against your lips. Her hand gently cupped the side of your face, eyes flitting down between yours and your lips, "Can I kiss you detka?"

You nodded eagerly, her face immediately moving to close the small gap between you, lips colliding as though they'd been forced apart for all this time. Her hand moved to the back of your head as she pulled you as close to her as possible, lips moving in sync tasting the fruitiness of her drink as her tongue entwined with yours. She staggered backwards slightly at the roughness of the kisses, your hand gripping onto her hips as her back fell against the countertop.

Your lips separated hesitantly as you both gasped for some much needed oxygen, her pink lips darkened and slightly swollen as she looked at you, eyes seeming to be darker than their usual hue. "I've wanted to do that for so long." She spoke in between breaths making you smile.

"Me too." You returned, her hands grabbing onto either side of your face in her excitement at your words, pulling your face back to hers. Your lips slotted together again, the same vigour as before, quick and passionate, your hands holding onto her waist. She tilted your head to the side with a pull on your hair, her lips smirking against the flesh of your neck at the audible sigh released at her rough action, lips moving against your skin with kisses and light bites, trailing across to your jaw pecking a path back to your lips.

Her hands travelled down your back, leaving a stream of electricity where they dragged across your body, fingertips grazing the back of your thighs just beneath the hem of your dress. They twitched slightly, itching to move beneath the fabric but unsure; instead, trailing back upwards giving a harsh squeeze to your ass before settling on your waist.

The kiss paused temporarily as she hopped up onto the counter behind her, your eyes tracing over her body as the dress rode up to expose almost her entire thighs. She pulled you to her, positioning her one leg between yours so you were hovering above her leg, your one hand gripped onto her other thigh as she crashed your lips together once more, fervent passion growing ever heated.

As your lips danced together she lifted her leg slightly so her thigh was pressed against your heated centre, a gasp sounding at the back of your throat. "Is this okay?" She asked.

"Yes." You nodded, worked up from the last twenty or so minutes of kissing and aching for some kind of release. Her fingers brushed against the skin of your thighs as she pulled your dress up slightly, pushing her leg up to be firmly pressed against you. You sighed into her mouth at the feeling, her hands grabbing roughly onto your ass as she moved your body, guiding you along her thigh creating a wave of pleasure as your clit rubbed along her through the material of your underwear.

You moved your lips down to her neck as your hips worked with her to keep up a steady rhythm, pressing sloppy kisses beneath her ear, your teeth grazing the soft skin. She breathed out raspily as you sucked on a specific area of her neck, right near her jaw. "Can I touch you?" You panted slightly, breath hot against the lobe of her ear.

"Please."

Your fingers trailed up the inside of her thigh, tickling her skin with the back of your fingernails until they made contact with her wet core. You giggled slightly as you found she wasn't wearing any underwear, moving your face back from her neck to look at her, she giggled too with a smirk and a slight shrug of her shoulders. You crashed your lips back to hers resuming heated kisses as your middle finger stroked her clit teasingly slowly, revelling in how wet she was.

Your teasing stopped however as she silently contested you by slowing the grinding of your hips to an almost stop. At this you firmly pressed the tip of your finger against her, rubbing circles around the hardened bud as a deep grunt came from the back of her throat. You kept the movement steady, the feeling of her slick beneath your finger turning you on even more. Her hips bucked against your hand slightly from the pleasure.

Her lips moved from yours as air ran out, heavy breathing sounding through the small room. Her hand grabbed your underwear, roughly tugging on it, so much so that the material tore away from your body though neither of you cared due to your hazy state of arousal. She groaned at the feeling of your arousal pushing against her thigh, no underwear in the way anymore. Both of you grew nearer to your release, growing wetter by the second as the coils of pleasure in your lower bellies grew tighter and tighter.

As she climbed nearer she grasped your lips with hers again, kisses sloppy as you both felt the overwhelm of pleasure. Her teeth harshly bit down on your bottom lip as a moan choked out of her mouth, the wetness on your fingers increasing and a slight metallic taste on your tongue. She continued to guide your core against her thigh for a few more thrusts until a moan tumbled from your lips too.

Both of you panting, light sheen of sweat over the foreheads of your flushed bodies as you rested your head on her shoulder whilst you both caught your breath. You held each other in a loose embrace until you could breathe evenly again. "Wow." Natasha breathed.

"Wow." You laughed back, looking into her slightly hooded eyes as she grinned. "I don't want this to be just a one time thing." You added nervously.

"Neither do I, lyubov." She smiled back, pressing a series of pecks of your lips. "Sorry about your lip."

"It was kinda hot." You smirked licking the drop of blood from your injured lip, she shook her head at you with a giggle. You moved back so she could stand from the counter, blushing as you eyed the slight wetness on her thigh. She noticed your sheepishness and seductively dragged her index finger through it before sucking her digit clean with a low hum.

"I can't wait to taste you properly." She smirked watching as your face heated up. "We should get back to the party detka, I'll follow you out." She suggested, smoothing out your messed up hair before planting one more parting kiss on your lips.

As you headed down the hallway back to the party you furrowed your brows in confusion at how quiet it was only for your stomach to twinge in awkwardness as you entered the room finding the majority of the guests to be gone - you'd hoped to re-join the party with your absence unnoticed.

"Here she is." Sam announced happily as you approached the group sitting where they were earlier only now with Tony added to the midst.

"Is the party over Tony?" You asked, heart still thumping from a few minutes ago and skin no doubt still looking flushed and slightly sweaty as you tried to recover.

"Yep, decided to call it quits so we could have a more intimate affair instead."

"Aw, do you like us Tin Man?" Pietro teased earning an eye roll from the billionaire as the rest of us laughed.

"Where'd you go anyway?" Wanda questioned, the entire group looking at you expectantly.

"Yeah, we couldn't find you for a while." Maria added.

"Um I was just getting some air." You stuttered out, receiving questioning looks from them all at your deer-in-the-headlights response.

"Are you not well, you're looking a little warm and...out of breath?" Steve voiced, concern lacing his tone as the others looked on in the same way wondering if you were sick. Though any more comments were cut short as Natasha walked in, skin still flushed and lips red and slightly swollen - just like yours, it may have gone unnoticed if only one of you looked this way.

Eyes darted between you both as she stood beside you, eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "The party's over?" She asked, words falling on deaf ears as all eyes focused in on you both.

"Intimate affair is right, Stark." Sam chuckled, laughter coming from Tony, Pietro and Bucky too; Maria, Wanda and Steve at least stifled their giggles as they exchanged looks with one another.

"Am I missing something?" Natasha asked.

"Um, I'm not sure?" You returned, though you had the slightest inkling at what they were finding so amusing you hoped you were wrong.

"You two had a little private party of your own by the looks of things." Sam informed, laughter only growing as it bellowed throughout the room. The heat rose in your cheeks in embarrassment, Natasha blushed slightly but quickly recovered with a proud smirk on her face instead, wrapping an arm around your waist and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

That's one way for them to find out you supposed.

Translations:

suka - bitch Rybak rybaka vidit izdaleka - takes one to know one (in literal translation it is 'birds of a feather flock together') Detka - baby lyubov - love

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thewildwaffle · 3 years

Text

Human Q&A Stream

With human popularity steadily on the rise in the galaxy, a lot of rumors and misunderstandings grow. Thankfully there's the equivalent of space-YouTube or space-Twitch or whatever where people from across the galaxy can reach out to a human expert: a human with a streaming channel! This actually came from a comment on my YouTube channel

***

(Human fiddles with camera settings and sits back in the chair smiling at the camera.) Ahoy friends! Hope your day/night/or whenever you're watching is going great. Wherever you are, whatever planet or ship you’re on, I hope you’re safe and well. By popular request, I’m doing another stream where I answer questions about humans that you and viewers across the galaxy have voted on. I’m going to pull up the top results… and… here we go:

(Reads computer screen) Okay. Number One: Are humans immune to poisons? Uh, well, yes and no. Yes, we are immune to many poisons throughout the galaxy. In fact, a lot of chemicals and substances that are dangerous or deadly to other species are ones we either have no trouble with or even seek out. However, we are not immune to all of them, especially not poisons similar in makeup to ones from our home world. I know the rumor that we can’t be hurt by poisons has led to some of those challenges going around. DO NOT challenge your human friends to ingest as many poisons as they can. We are impulsive enough on our own. We don’t need to be egged on! If you are worried about what is or isn’t harmful to humans, check the inter-stellar handbook. Just, make sure you have the most updated version. There are additions being made almost constantly.

Number 2: Do humans eat… okay I’m going to assume this list of species are all from the Crastilian Belt because I’ve heard this one before. No, we don't want to eat anyone from the Crastilian races. Or anyone, for that matter! I realize that Earth has a lot, and I mean A LOT, of animals that look like certain species from the Crastacian Belt, and that some of those animals happen to be delicious. Especially with butter- pff, sorry not sorry because it’s true! I don’t even like seafood that much, but, I mean, you give me a plate of crab legs and some melted butter, I’m gonna have a good time. But here’s the thing, they’re crabs. They’re lobsters, they’re crawdads, etc. They’re not you. They’re not sentient. I understand if watching humans eat human food from our own planet may be disconcerting, but that’s not really our fault, is it? I know there’s this huge human-craze going on right now, and yeah heck, that’s why my stream has gotten as popular as it is, but that doesn’t mean anyone gets to come in and tell us how to live our lives, or what to eat, or - eh, anything. If something an individual human, or small group of humans, does something to make you uncomfortable, discuss it with them and see if you can make things work. But if something about humans, in general, bothers you, uh, well, that’s probably not going to change, so just calm down. We’re not going to try and eat you. Probabl- (Cut to screen with text: Seriously. We’re not going to eat you. Calm down.)

Okay, moving on to number 3: Can humans survive losing body parts? Yes, and we can replace body parts or fluids and do so pretty often. I mean, it’s not like we go out of our way to do it and everyone’s out here swapping body parts, but like, if you lose an arm or a leg or whatever, you can get a prosthetic. A vital organ fails? If a match is found, you can be given a donated organ. Depending on the organ, they can be from living or deceased donors, or even, with medical science today, grown from a lab. I feel like I should specifically bring up livers because of the rumors out there saying humans can regenerate this or that body part, but, um. No. Not naturally, at least- again, science is crazy! But it’s just the liver. Oh, there’s also blood. Humans can lose up to 40% of their blood before they die of blood loss and can be saved by receiving a transfusion of donated blood.

Okay, number 4… Uhhhhhhhh…. (Sigh) Wow. You know what? No... I'm, I’m skipping this one…

Number 5: Are humans scary? / Are humans blood-thirsty? To start off, there are a lot of terrifying, bloody, altogether horrible things in human history. But that is not the summation of humanity! I actually talked a lot about this topic, uh, I think two videos ago or something? Basically, my friend, Doctor Carchik Fentrula and I discussed how humans, for the most part, are good. We are curious, friendly, kind, and in general, just want to live peaceful happy lives. That being said, I think I know where these questions and rumors are coming from. As I’ve said in past streams, please please please, don’t believe everything you hear or see. Humans love story-telling, and fiction and, unfortunately, misinformation and urban legends abound. Looking in at Earth from an outside perspective, not knowing what’s fiction or truth, or what's a cultural-significant nuance, I can totally see where these fears and rumors come from. Please be careful about what human media you’re consuming. Horror movies may say they’re based on 'true stories,' but even then, they’re written to be as scary and disturbing as possible. That doesn’t mean they’re an accurate depiction of humanity as a whole. Let me say: we are not invincible, blood-thirsty monsters, we don't want to kill others for sport, we are not going to spread a plague of “demons” and “ghosts” across the galaxy.

Okay, we have time for one last one. Number 6: Ohhhh… (sigh) of course this one made it on the list. Okay, fine. Are humans open to romantic relationships with other sentient beings? (Looks at camera deadpan) Yes. Some are. Um, please note the use of “some.” (Takes off glasses and puts head in hands.) Please... don’t make things weird.

(Camera cuts to human, looking chipper again at the camera.) Okay, well I’m going to end things here. Thanks for tuning in. I hope I cleared up some misconceptions about humans for you. If you have any other questions or rumors you want me to address, let me know. I might do another one of these in the future. They’re kind of fun to do. Most of the time. (Cuts back to a shot of human’s disappointed reaction to question 6.)

#humans are weird #humans are space orcs #humans #scary #aliens #hfy #original writing #writeblr #q&a #human rumors

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