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#some stuff happened irl that I had to deal with

bettertwin1 · 3 days

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Hi, old follower here from before you had 100 followers. I've got a semi serious question for you.

When I first followed you, I got the impression that you were a RP blog, in the case where you would RP with your "brother" (bettertwin9000), so I followed the rules as such. But later on it seems that this blog is your persona? In terms of everything said to this blog is a personal question to you? It's a weird situation where people asking those intrusive questions make sense for a RP blog, but in a normal blog situation it makes it intrusive.

Tldr, I think many are confused if this is an RP blog or you having Leo as your persona, so can you confirm what this blog actually is?

OMG HI LONG TIME FOLLOWER!!

And, for the sake of things making a little bit of sense, as much as sense as we can manage, keep in mind that we have OSDD, we're a system-

PUTTING IT UNDER CUT CAUSE IT'S LONG 😅

At the start of the blog <- in which we were advertising it as a roleplay blog, it was being run by our host and partially by me though I had no clue what I was doing at the time and bettertwin9000 was being run by our partner <- (which btw, made for some strange asks)

We continued advertising it as a roleplay even when we began suspecting and having full breakdowns over the idea of being a system due to some little things and some big things and lots of research and therapy and blah blah BUT we kept going back on it cause tbh DID is a hard thing to accept and we didn't want it <- still don't

SO now I was trying to run the blog more all the while trying to keep us grounded, IGNORING the possibility of DID and thinking, nah, this is just a really bad cause of delusions and we NEED to get reality checked NOW.

But I ALREADY KNEW i'm not REALLY Leo from rottmnt, but I am him, I was formed from that guy, created? Idk. He made me in his own image type reference audio. WOW IM NOT EXPLAINING ANYTHING 😭😭 did I mention we have a tendency to overexplain <- but specifically for me in the case of explaining things that are hard to explain, ANYWHIZZLE.

We kept going back and forth, confirming and denying the conclusion "we have osdd" cause that's terrifying and while this was happening I was still trying to force us to post and interact and involve ourself in arcs for the sake of distraction from EVERYTHING happening irl and the blog kind of made it worse but in a light hearted way cause suddenly the asks became really gross, and I felt really gross.

Sure, maybe someone who was roleplaying Leonardo would have no trouble answering asks about dead relatives or near death experiences or villains that have physically harmed you and your 'siblings' or about my crippling inability to speak about feelings and whatever else people diagnosed me with on here but I was having trouble answering it, I was getting uncomfortable and I was feeling genuinely overwhelmed because everything that definitely would be great material for a roleplay account was making me just feel, bad. <- which wasn't great considering at the time, feeling bad was not something i could have been affording to do

SO at some point, I started putting boundaries, didn't explain why, just continued under the guise of hey, roleplay guy here, the intruvsive invasive asks about my family and my mental health and my anatomy is making me want to die so please stop andbonly ask fun stuff like idk, if i put salt in donnie's coffee sometimes and everyone was like, yes leonardo in unison.

Then I slowly started getting more adamant on pushing the narrative that I am LITERALLY Leo from the show cause pushing that seemed to really help with the questions, and then the roleplay blog became more like. A personal blog for some dude who happened to be a ninja turtle alter and it'd unfortunately gotten so out of hand that explaining this now kind of made us even more exhausted cause oh man, we might get fake claimed huh <- we had worse things to deal with, internet drama didn't need to be added to this.

Anyway, if you read through all that junk, i'm sorry 😭, but i think it helps explain why the impression of the blog is so confusing cause it was being run by two ppl, a host and an alter who were constantly trying NOT to be those things until pretty recently when we started accepting the fact that we have Osdd

SO TIMELINE.

The blog starts off as an rp blog by our host and I unbeknownst to us both

The blog is fun and we start gaining traction

We also start gaining more mental health problems and have a full breakdown multiple times on many different social medias

We push through to cope

We talk to the other blog runners who are systems <- (Mikey, Raph and at the time when their account was apart of this, April) and they kindly answer and guide us through some things

We start adding boundaries for my sake

We talk to other systems on other social media and they help us with more stuff

We talk to our therapist

We do a ton of research on top of old research we'd apparently already done before <- suddenly we have a long document with so much information

We tell no one about the discovery when we start accepting the possibility

More funny stuff ensue and personal life things happen <- #ONLYTHEREALONESKNOW!

The only announcement I ever make that i'm an alter are one off comments in tags or answers that I never address again until I make an intro post that says I'm an alter in a system

The blog is what now?

The blog is still a roleplay account. Sometimes, canceled arcs that we would have done would have been considered roleplay <- a canceled christmas arc. But usually, this is just a blog. Like, this is just a blog I use to entertain people and to get some of my thoughts out like a singlet would. It's both i guess, it's whatever I want it to be and whatever you guys consider it to be.

The blog is just, my blog, I don't know how else to explain it 😅😅

Also, Bettertwin9000 was pretty much going through the same thing at the time and fun fact, he is actually my "brother" cause he's a Donnie alter <- (yay!)

Shoutout to the host who has their own blogs that they never really post on! couldn't have done it without you! <- and the many kind individuals who gave us their research material and links and answered our questions and stuck w/ us through the most confusing part of OUR LIFE

Srry again if this didn't answer your question like at all by the way, i THINK it at least explained some things but you know 😭 SORRY IDK

#do i wanna use fandom tags #maybe #can other systems validate us btw cause i'll be honest I still think we are faking this #if anyone had similar experiences it'd be cool to read it #did osdd #osdd 1b #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #unpause rise of the tmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt donnie #rise donnie #disaster twins #leo rottmnt

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soaps-mohawk · 1 month

Text

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 13: Piece Me Back Together

Summary: Your pack deals with the aftermath of your heat.

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader, Ghost x Soap

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, smut, handjobs, anal fingering, anal sex, unprotected sex (please practice safe sex irl), spanking (it’s like once), choking (kind of), light Dom/sub dynamics, Johnny's praise kink, excessive use of the word cock, heat cycles, mating cycles, brief mention of blood, brief medical stuff, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, language, and of course a little fluff

A/N: Well folks, we've made it past the heat portion of the fic. Now things can really start moving. Lots of aftercare, some world building, and of course a little spice at the end for you all to enjoy (as if the last chapter wasn't enough lol). I tried to catch all the possible tags for this one but as always, let me know if I missed one. The smut happens in the very last scene, so if you'd prefer not to read it, then skip that last little bit. You won't really miss much. Also, there's a lot of jumping around in time in this one so I tried to mark when things are happening relative to the present moment in the fic.

Want early access to chapters, as well as other bonus content? Consider supporting me on Patreon.

MASTERLIST | <- Previous | Next ->

6 Days Ago

“Looks comfortable.”

Kyle glances up as Johnny closes the door to his room, blanket and pillow in hand. “Slept on worse.” He shrugs, glancing down at the cot set up in the hallway before looking back up at Johnny. “Moving out?”

“Camping in Si’s office for the next week. Keep our distance.” He nods at the closed door.

“Probably for the best.” Kyle says. “Have fun!”

“Don’t enjoy yourself too much.” Johnny winks at him before making his way down the hallway and disappearing around the corner.

Kyle shakes his head, starting to sort through the many bags of supplies they’ve stocked up on in preparation for their omega’s heat. They’re well prepared, all of them, for the next week, Kyle especially. He’s spent the last few days reading up on what to expect, how to best help and support his alpha and omega, and what to look out for in case things start going wrong. He doesn’t think they will. He has a lot of faith in Price and he knows Price will take good care of their omega.

Still, he can’t help but feel a bit nervous. He has a big job to do, even though there’s not much to do until after the heat is over with. He just has to ensure Price doesn’t hurt you accidentally, or maul you to death. He doesn’t think that’s likely to happen, but then again, one can never know.

Kyle lets out a shaky breath, grabbing the bags with the electrolytes and nutrient bars before heading for your door.

It’s going to be a long week.

Present Day

It’s quiet. Has been for almost an hour now. Kyle rises from the cot, slipping his phone into his pocket. He slowly approaches the door, leaning in to listen for a moment before putting his hand on the knob. He lets out a breath before pushing the door open slowly, slipping in and closing the door quietly. The smells in the room are worse than they had been last night, a toxic mix of omega, alpha, sex, and sweat. He takes a moment to breathe, adjusting to the scent.

You and Price are spooned together on the bed, asleep, or at least you are. Price had pulled the blankets up around you, tucking you in. Kyle approaches slowly, not wanting to accidentally step on a wrapper and startle either of you and risk you getting scared or Price getting territorial. He brushes the damp strands of hair from your face, your body temperature significantly lower than it had been even last night. He pulls the forehead thermometer from his pocket, taking your temperature quickly before sending a text to Dr. Keller.

He carefully lifts the blankets, checking beneath. You’re still locked together as he expected, and he lowers the blankets back down, tucking you both in again. He unplugs Price’s phone from the charging cord that he’d plugged in last night, rotating it to your phone. He knew the chances of either of you being aware enough to use a phone for anything would be low, but just in case, he kept them both charged.

He tiptoes through the mess of wrappers and bottles, grabbing the bag of trash that he had started a couple days ago. He picks up the mess on the floor, cleaning off the nightstand as well before setting out a new bottle of electrolytes and a couple nutrient bars. There’s still quite a few left, but those could be saved for your next heat.

Price stirs a bit as Kyle sets the bag of trash off to the side next to the bag of things that would have to go to the wash. He hurries over, gently keeping Price from moving too much.

“Easy. You’re still knotted.” He says, putting a hand on Price’s shoulder as you let out a quiet sound. His skin is warm and sticky from sweat, and probably other things.

Price rubs his eyes before blinking up at Kyle. “What day is it?”

“Morning of the sixth day.” He answers, passing Price the bottle of electrolytes. “I think it’s over. Her temperature’s back to normal. Just waiting on Dr. Keller’s opinion.”

Price hums, unscrewing the cap from the bottle before taking a long drink. “Feel like shit.”

Kyle grins. “Been a long week for you, Cap. How do you feel?”

Price screws the cap back on the bottle before leaning over you to place it on the nightstand. “Like I got hit by a truck and rolled down a hill.”

“Speaking from experience, sir?” Kyle smirks.

Price gives him a look before closing his eyes again, relaxing against your back. He lets out a groan as his knot deflates, his cock slipping from your folds. “Christ, that's going to hurt later.”

“Let me get the bath started.” Kyle says, going into your bathroom.

He starts the water, making sure it’s warm enough before he grabs the epsom salt off the counter and adds some in. He leaves the water running as he moves back to the bedroom, helping Price off the bed first. The alpha groans as he stands, leaning heavily against Kyle’s side. Kyle wraps his arm around his shoulders, supporting Price as they make their way to the bathroom.

“I’ve been beaten, tortured, shot. I’ve jumped out of moving cars, been in helicopter crashes.” Price says, grunting as Kyle helps him down into the bath. “This might be the worst I’ve ever felt.”

“Not quite as spry as you used to be, old man?” Kyle teases, making sure he’s comfortable.

“Plenty spry, but god I forgot how energetic omegas can be.” Price leans his head back against the wall, closing his eyes.

“Just relax.” Kyle says, turning off the water. “I’ll bring her in.”

He heads back into your room, approaching the bed. You’re shivering, eyes squeezed closed and eyebrows pinched. Kyle kneels down next to the bed, placing a gentle hand on your arm. You start a bit at the touch, a quiet whimper leaving your lips.

“Shh, easy love.” Kyle tries to soothe you as you shake. “You’re alright.”

You let out a whine, seeking out your alpha in your disoriented state. The bathwater splashes as Price shifts in response to your call, his own instincts still on high alert.

“Let’s get you into the bath.” Kyle says before gently slipping his arms under you and lifting you up.

You let out a whine in protest, your body sore and aching from the last six days. Kyle quickly carries you to the bath, easing you into the water between Price’s legs. You’re trembling, quiet whines leaving your lips as he eases you back against Price’s chest. The alpha wraps his arms around you, a quiet rumble sounding from his chest as he tries to ease your disorientation and discomfort.

Kyle leaves you and Price there to soak as he heads back to the room to strip the sheets and start the laundry. Most of your pillows and stuffed animals are stacked in the corner of the room by your desk, spared from the mess that the bed has turned into. The sheets are still wet with a concoction of fluids, and he knows they’ll need to soak for a while. He stuffs them into the bag with your clothes, along with your blankets, before he heads down the hall to the laundry room.

He checks on you and Price when he returns, both of you content still in the bath. He can’t help but smile as he watches the two of you, pride swelling in his chest at the sight of his alpha taking care of their omega.

Their omega.

It seems almost strange to think now. They’d gone so long without an omega, and thought they wouldn’t be getting one. Now, six weeks later, they’ve all fallen head over heels for a little omega none of them even knew they needed. He can’t imagine life without an omega now, how well you fit into their pack, how well you fit with all of them, how you’ve only served to make them stronger and more efficient.

He hates to admit that perhaps Laswell was right.

Maybe they did need you after all.

Kyle bags up the plastic mattress protector, glad to see it did its job. He replaces the sheets and blankets for now, knowing you’ll want to nest once you’re more aware. He checks his phone before heading back into the bathroom, kneeling down next to the tub. Your shaking has subsided, reduced to a shudder here and there as you’ve slowly relaxed in the hot water.

Kyle grabs a cloth and your body wash, starting to gently clean your skin, or at least get the sweat and other fluids off. Bruises litter your skin and the claiming mark on your shoulder is scabbed and angry. Kyle carefully washes it, not wanting to apply too much pressure as he cleans off the dried blood still stuck to your skin. He knows it’s going to hurt for a while.

“What did Dr. Keller say?” Price asks as he helps ease you up so Kyle can wash your back.

“Said if her temperature is normal then the worst is over.” Kyle answers. “She wants to do a check up soon, make sure everything’s alright. Said she’d come here to do it, if that’s alright.”

Price grunts quietly as Kyle starts to wash his chest. “That’s fine. Easier than going all the way to the medical building. Simon and Johnny?”

“Fine.” Kyle answers. “Been keeping busy running drills and stuff. Johnny’s been keeping Simon occupied.”

Price hums, letting his eyes close as Kyle washes his neck and shoulders. “Good.”

Kyle makes sure to get all of the soap rinsed off before pulling the plug on the water, carefully lifting you up to stand. He lets you lean against him, grabbing one of the towels to dry you off as best he can. Price gets himself standing, drying himself off as Kyle helps you back to bed. Price joins you, wrapping his arms around you tight as Kyle tucks the blankets up around you both.

“Can I get you anything?” Kyle asks as he sets a new bottle of electrolytes on the nightstand. “Real food maybe?”

“I’d kill for some bangers and mash, maybe a pint.” Price says, a smile tugging at his lips.

“I’ll see what I can scrounge up.” Kyle says, glancing at you one last time before he leaves the room.

Your body aches. There’s a deep soreness in your muscles, and a painful throb between your legs. Your skin feels raw and tight, and there's a steady pulse behind your eyes. A quiet sound leaves your lips before you can stop it, the sound cracking and broken from your raw throat. There's a desert in your mouth again, your tongue dry and heavy in your mouth.

Your thoughts are dragged away from the agony in your body as a quiet rumbling starts somewhere in front of you, your brain going quiet except for the need to seek it out. You press yourself closer to it, meeting warm skin as you try to get closer and closer. You want to bury yourself in it, seep into its depths until you can feel the vibrations of it in your bones. Arms wrap around you, pulling you in closer until you're squished against a bare chest.

You press your face against the soft skin, trying to get closer to the rumbling purr vibrating from deep within. You let out another sound, body going lax as the purr lulls you into a relaxed state. The tension leaves your body, easing the ache in your muscles a bit. Not much, but enough to pull a relieved sigh from your lips.

“Easy, love.” A quiet voice says, another hand touching your back.

You tense slightly at the intrusion on your safe space, but quickly relax as the hand stills on your skin. The calming scent of beta overtakes you, easing your mind to a quiet hum as your alpha and beta work to calm you. You feel a bit disoriented as reality slowly begins to return, seeping back into your brain.

You went into heat.

You remember waking up with the blistering inferno burning hot within you, the insatiable need pulsing between your legs. You remember Kyle being there, the soft scent of him as he helped you prepare, pulling off your clothes and making you drink some of the electrolytes. You remember John entering the room, the way his scent made your brain feel like mush. You remember him sinking his teeth into your shoulder, his knot forcing you open before everything went dark.

Everything else is a dark blur, wiped from your memory after your instincts took over.

You shift against the body you’re pressed close to, a deep ache rippling through you. It hurts, everything hurts. Your hips are sore, your shoulder is throbbing, every muscle feels like you just did a triathlon with no training, and there’s a sharp throbbing between your thighs.

You’re crying before you even realize it, the tears uncontrollable as they slide down your cheeks, the quiet sniffles and sobs aggravating your already aching body. The arms around you tighten, the purring getting louder, but you can’t stop the onslaught of tears.

You flinch as something tickles the skin of your forehead, chapped lips pressing a soft kiss to your hairline. You let out a whine as you continue to cry, your mind a swirl of confusion and disorientation as you try to come to terms with everything that’s happened. You don’t know how long it’s been, what day it is. You don’t even know what happened to you in the last week.

You continue to cry, oblivious to the conversation happening over you, the gentle purring in your ears lulling you into a dazed state as you float in and out of consciousness. The pain of being moved momentarily brings you back before you settle again, laying back against a chest. A baggy shirt is pulled over your head, smelling of your alpha. The fabric feels different than it had days ago when you’d woken up in the throes of your heat. It’s soft, not offending, and it offers you warmth and comfort.

You don’t want to move, you don’t want to do anything. Exhaustion pulls at the edges of your mind as you lay there, the tears still streaming down your cheeks.

He hasn’t stopped purring since you woke up. The low rumble in his chest hasn’t stopped, and neither has the ache blooming there since you started crying. Even in your dazed, half asleep state, the tears still roll down your cheeks, quiet shaky breaths catching every so often. He’s not sure what to do, how to help. He’s never been with an omega that’s cried before. Not like this.

His purring kicks up in volume as you startle awake when the door opens, letting out a broken whimper as your space suddenly gets invaded. He tries to soothe you, his arms tightening around you to try and ground you in his presence.

“Hi, honey.” Dr. Keller says, kneeling down next to the bed, her voice soft and the scent of beta thick in the air. “Still a bit out of it, huh?”

“She hasn’t stopped crying since she woke up.” He says, rubbing gentle circles on your arm with his thumb.

“That’s not unusual.” Dr. Keller says, digging through her bag to pull out a thermometer. “There’s a lot going on right now for her. Besides the exhaustion and the confusion and the pain, there’s a lot of rapid hormonal changes happening. Some omegas can just wake up and hop out of it immediately and be just fine.”

John frees one of your arms so Dr. Keller can take your pulse and blood pressure.

“Others might struggle a bit more.” She continues. “Purebred omegas especially have a hard time coming out of it. They’re more sensitive to those instincts and the sudden cut off of them is rather jarring.” She puts her equipment back in her bag. “Her vitals look good, which makes me confident to hold off on any further examinations until she’s more alert and aware.”

“Are there things we should look out for?” Kyle asks.

“She’s going to be drowsy and fatigued for a while, but if you can’t wake her at all, call me. If her breathing gets shallow or her pulse weakens or she starts developing a fever again, call me. Also check for blood the next time she uses the bathroom. Her vitals aren’t showing any indication of internal injuries, though, so I think she’ll be just fine.” She pulls a pill bottle from her bag. “I’ve prescribed some muscle relaxers for her. There’s a week’s worth in there. It’ll help with the pain and discomfort, but they will make her sleepy. The best thing she can do right now is rest and recover. Once she’s more aware, you can try some soft foods and lots of liquids. If she’s really struggling, I can set up an IV and get some fluids into her, perk her up a bit.”

“Thank you.” John says, shifting you slightly so Dr. Keller can look at the bite mark on your shoulder.

“How are you feeling?” She asks him, pulling out a disinfectant wipe.

“Sore.” John huffs out a laugh. “Nothing I can’t handle, though.”

Dr. Keller hums as she cleans the wound on your shoulder. “I know I’m not here to give you medical advice, but as your omega’s doctor I feel the need to remind you not to ignore your own symptoms. She needs you right now, more than ever. So don’t try to macho man your way through anything. You need to rest just as much as she does.”

“Yes, doctor.” He grumbles, adjusting your shirt once she’s done.

Dr. Keller gives him a smile. “You did a good job.” She turns to Kyle. “Both of you. Don’t hesitate to call me. It’s what I’m here for.”

A smile tugs at John’s lips as Kyle practically beams from Dr. Keller’s praise. He did do a good job. You’re both still breathing after all.

3 Days Ago

“I cannae take anymore.” Johnny pants, his breaths near wheezes as he rests his hands on his knees. “Ye said you'd go easy on me.”

“I never promised anything, Johnny.” Simon says, standing behind him.

“Hell's bells, L.T.” Johnny groans, dropping to his hands and knees. “Gonna kill me at this rate.”

“Don't be dramatic. C'mon, again.”

“Uh uh.” Johnny says, flopping onto his side on the ground. “Am pure done in! ‘S almost lunch anyway.” He rolls onto his back, looking in the direction of the barracks as he wipes the sweat from his brow. “Think they're havin’ fun?”

Simon looks down at him, looming over him like a shadow. “Probably seems like it right now. Be a different story when it’s done.”

“Sometimes I wish I knew what it was like.” Johnny says, turning his gaze up to Simon's face. He can't see much under the mask, and right now is one of those moments when he wishes he could.

“You really don't. It's messy and gory.” Simon offers him a hand, helping Johnny to his feet. “Gotta be prepared to pick up the pieces afterwards.” Simon turns, heading in the direction of the barracks.

“That why you've never taken an omega?” Johnny asks, following him.

Simon stops dead in his tracks, turning to look at Johnny. Johnny's back straightens at the look in Simon's eyes. No, not Simon. Ghost. He's looking at Ghost again.

“Drop it. Or I'll make you do another lap.” Ghost says, his voice taking on the low rasp he gets when he's shifted into the laser focused headspace of the Lieutenant.

“Yes, sir.” Johnny says, following after Ghost as they head back towards the barracks.

Ghost slips into the showers once they enter, Johnny heading to the corner to peek down the hallway towards their rooms. It's quiet now. It hadn't been when they left earlier. He could hear it as they passed the hall to go out the door, the distant sound of moans and the bedframe knocking against the wall. He had fought the erection threatening to tent his shorts all the way to the field. He knows heats are no light matter, but the mental image he's drawn up of you blissed out, mouth open as you moan, back arching in pleasure has been plaguing him for nearly two weeks. He's desperate, practically chomping at the bit to get a chance to see it himself first hand, to see the real thing putting his mental image to shame.

He makes his way down the hallway, keeping a respectful distance between himself and your room. Kyle looks up from his spot on the bed where he'd been scrolling on his phone.

“How're they doin’?” Johnny asks, wiping the sweat from his face.

“Alright. Sleeping for the moment.” Kyle answers. Johnny can only imagine the torture of having to sit and listen to nonstop fucking for the last three days.

“We're gonna grab lunch soon. Want us tae bring ye somethin’?”

Kyle nods. “Sure. That'd be great.”

“Ye got it.” Johnny nods, passing a glance at your door before looking back to Kyle. “Good luck.”

“Thanks, mate.” Kyle says, watching his fellow beta walk back down the hall.

Johnny glances up from his phone as Simon huffs out what's the tenth sigh in the last three minutes. The alpha is seated at his desk, clicking away at something on his computer and occasionally mashing away at the keyboard rather harshly. Johnny's surprised he hasn't cracked a key yet, or just thrown the whole thing out the window. The beta can see how tightly his alpha is wrung by the tenseness in his shoulders, the hard set of his brow, the set line of his lips, the occasional tick of his jaw.

“What's got ye all riled up?” Johnny finally breaks the silence, setting his phone aside.

“Nothing.” Simon grumbles, ignoring Johnny's gaze.

Johnny’s brow furrows and he pushes himself to stand, moving over to Simon’s side. “Doesnae seem like nothin’ to me.” He puts his hands on Simon’s broad shoulders, squeezing them, feeling the tension in his muscles. “Awful tense, Si.”

“Leave it, Johnny.” Simon grumbles, trying to swat the beta away, but he’s insistent.

“Wouldnae be a little omega getting you so tense, would it?” Johnny teases.

Simon turns to him, his eyes darkening. His jaw clenches, hands closing into fists where they sit on the armrests of his chair. “Don’t push it, Johnny.” His voice has that deep rumble to it, the threat of his alpha coming through.

Johnny stares at him, feeling the danger prickling at the back of his neck, but at the same time, he wants to push that boundary. He wants to see just how far he can push his alpha until he finally gives in.

“I don’t know why ye keep torturing yourself like this, Si. Ye know ye like her. She’d be more’n willing-”

“That’s the problem.” Simon snaps, pushing himself up from his seat, forcing Johnny to take a step back. “She’s not doing this because she wants to. She’s only doing this because she’s been told to do it.”

“She’s an omega. Her whole life was going tae be people tellin’ her what to do and forcin’ her tae do things, even if she didn’t want to. Ye think things would have been different if she’d been put with a different pack?” Johnny doesn’t back down from Simon’s glare, having been on the receiving end of it enough times now he’s almost immune to it. “Things could have been a lot worse for her. She might not have wanted to be here, but she is. Ye can’t change that, Si. No matter how badly you might want to.”

Johnny can tell by the slow fall to Simon’s tense shoulders that he’s struck home. The situation wasn’t ideal, but it’s what they were dealt. You’re here with them, and he’s going to make sure you feel as comfortable as possible.

Simon lets out another sigh, turning away from Johnny to crawl into their makeshift bed. He lays down with a huff, closing his eyes. Johnny smirks, slowly crawling onto the two cots pushed together, laying down right next to Simon. He rests his hand on Simon’s thigh, feeling the powerful muscle flex under his hand. He slowly begins to drag it higher, Simon’s eyes opening again.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Simon rasps, but he doesn’t move, even as Johnny reaches the junction of his hip and thigh.

“Yer all worked up, big guy.” Johnny says, leaning his head on his hand, slowly moving his hand over Simon’s very prominent bulge. “Thought I’d help ye.”

“What makes you think I want your help?” Simon says, still laying still.

Johnny lifts his brows, slowly rubbing Simon through his pants. “This looks rather painful, and I seem to be the only option to help, since everyone else is rather occupied-”

Johnny’s words are cut off as he finds himself suddenly on his back, Simon’s hand around his throat. The alpha is leaning over him, a deep rumble vibrating through his chest. “You talk too much, Johnny.” Simon rumbles, leaning close to the beta’s face.

“I’ve been told tha’ before.” Johnny says, leaning up to try and kiss his alpha, but Simon backs away before he can make contact. “By you if I remember correctly.”

Simon’s fingers flex around his throat, a moan spilling from his lips as Simon grinds his hips against Johnny’s. His cock is hard in his pants, has been for a while. He’s not sure if it’s from the lewd thoughts that have been plaguing his mind since you first kissed him, weeks ago, or if it’s just a response to the knowledge that you’re currently fucking their pack alpha like your life depends on it.

Johnny lets out a whimper, bucking up against Simon desperately. Simon tuts at him, pressing against his throat to keep him still on the bed as he sits himself up on top of the beta.

“Naughty little thing.” Simon says, staring down into his blue eyes. “Know you’ve been thinking about sinking your cock into the new little omega for weeks.” Johnny lets out a whine, his cock twitching in his pants. “I don’t think you’ll even make it that long, will you pup?” Simon chuckles. “Gonna cum in your pants as soon as you see her tits, huh?” Simon presses down, putting more pressure against his cock as he rubs it through his pants. “Gonna cum in your pants just thinking about it.”

Johnny holds his breath, trying to focus anywhere except for Simon’s hand. He squeezes his eyes closed as Simon undoes the button on his cargo pants, releasing his throat to tug the fabric down around his knees.

“Bloody hell.” Simon says, wrapping a hand around Johnny’s hard cock. “Prettiest cock I’ve ever seen.”

“I thought Kyle’s was the prettiest.” Johnny says, opening his eyes to glance down at his alpha.

“Kyle’s just pretty.” Simon says, slowly stroking Johnny’s cock. “You have the prettiest cock.”

“Christ...” Johnny breathes as Simon continues to jerk his cock, his hips bucking as he can feel himself getting closer and closer to the edge.

A pathetic whimper leaves Johnny’s lips as Simon pulls his hand away, sitting up on his knees over his beta. He undoes his belt, tossing it to the floor before undoing his pants, pulling them and his briefs down to release his own throbbing cock. Johnny licks his lips as Simon fists his own cock, slowly stroking it.

“Turn around. Let me see that pretty ass.” Simon says.

“Yes, sir.” Johnny smirks, wiggling himself until he’s flat on his stomach, pushing his ass into the air as best he can with his legs trapped between Simon’s.

Simon purrs quietly at Johnny’s response, running his hands over his beta’s pert cheeks. “Prettiest ass too.” He murmurs, gently spreading his cheeks.

“I’m startin’ to think I might be the prettiest.” Johnny says, gasping quietly as a glob of warm spit hits his hole.

“Give me a night with Kyle and I’ll get back to you on that.” Simon says, pressing a finger into Johnny’s ass.

Johnny groans, pressing his face into the pillow. “Fucking Christ.”

“You can take it.” Simon soothes him, reaching down to fish the lube out of the bag he’d tossed it in last night. He squirts some on his finger before pressing further in, spreading Johnny’s ass open. “Good boy.”

Johnny nearly melts into the cot, letting out a pathetic sound as Simon adds a second finger. He’s still sore from the last three days, but his drive to please his alpha pushes away any sensitivity he’s feeling. That, and the lust burning hot in him. Betas don’t have heat cycles, but he might as well be in the middle of one with how horny he’s been these last few days. He knows part of it is Simon being worked up by the knowledge that there’s an omega in heat nearby, and his own body reacting to his alpha. He’s never been around an omega in heat, and he doesn’t think Simon has either.

He’s not sure Simon has ever been with an omega at all before.

More cold lube hits his hole, a second finger pressing in. He gasps at the stretch, squeezing around Simon’s thick fingers. Simon’s other hand trails up his back, pushing his shirt up as he goes. Johnny pushes himself up slightly, tugging the fabric over his head before he relaxes back down against the blankets.

Simon presses a third finger in, working Johnny open with what still won’t be enough, but Johnny won’t complain. He’s taken his alpha before. He’ll do it gladly again.

“Fuck, Johnny.” Simon grunts as Johnny squeezes around his fingers again.

“Cannae help it.” Johnny whines. “Feels too good.”

“Didn’t say you could cum yet.” Simon says, removing his fingers. “Naughty pup.”

Johnny lets out a pathetic sounding whimper, pressing his ass up to try and chase Simon’s fingers. He yelps as Simon’s hand meets his skin, his hips dropping back to the bed at the force of Simon’s spank.

“Stay still.” Simon growls, the cap of the lube popping open again.

Johnny does as he’s told, keeping himself still as Simon prepares himself. He groans as the tip of Simon’s cock presses against his hole, his hands fisting the sheets at the stretch. Simon’s hand rubs his back, trying to get him to relax. Johnny breathes, forcing himself to go lax, letting Simon slip in further.

“Good boy.” Simon groans, bracing himself on the bed as he presses further and further into Johnny’s tight hole. “That’s my good boy. You can take it.”

“Fuck!” Johnny groans, practically preening from the praise.

“That’s it.” Simon groans, pressing in until his hips are flush with Johnny’s ass. “Bloody fucking hell.”

Johnny’s mind goes blank as he’s filled, all thoughts leaving at the feeling of his alpha inside of him. He’s panting already, stretched open around his alpha’s cock. Simon begins to move, rocking his hips slowly, drawing his cock out before pushing it back in. Johnny whines, pushing back against Simon, needing more.

“Please...” Johnny begs. “Please alpha!”

“Fuck.” Simon grunts, bracing himself further before snapping his hips against Johnny. “Like that? That what you want, pup?”

Johnny almost yelps at the sensation, hands fisting the blankets as his body rocks forward on the cot. “Fuck, yes!”

Simon sets a brutal pace, hips snapping against Johnny’s ass. Pleasure numbs Johnny’s mind as the sensation of Simon inside of him. His cock is trapped between his body and the cot, dragging against the blankets with every thrust. He’s going to cum soon, he knows that. He won’t be able to hold it, not with how sensitive he already is.

“Gonna cum, can’t hold it!” He whines, pushing back against Simon’s thrusts for more friction. “Fuck, alpha!”

Johnny cums quickly with a groan, the blankets getting damp under him as he shakes in his release. Simon doesn’t stop, undeterred by Johnny’s clenching around him in his orgasm. He’s going to ring a few more out of Johnny before he’s done.

They’re both in for a long night.

Taglist:

@bobaprint @ashy-kit @anunintentionalwriter @mockerycrow @hayleybarnesx @protokosmonaut @fruitymoonbeams-blog @blue-blue0 @hindi-si-ikay @thatonepupkai @redwites @kattiieee @141trash @lothiriel9 @dillybuggg @beebeechaos @konigsmissedbeltloop @kaoyamamegami @idkkkkkkk8363 @wallwriterstuff @smile-child-13 @anomiatartle @dangerkittenclaws @bless-my-demons @mystic60 @evolutionarry @red-hydra @lunaetiicsaystuff @linaangel @codsunshine @thriving-n-jiving @slayerx147 @ferns-fics @spicyspicyliving @cityoffallencrows @ttsbaby01 @heeheehoohoohahahihi @sleepyoriana @ihatethinkingofnames10 @cassiecasluciluce @darling006 @sheep-from-rad @ohgodthebogisback @willow-sages @scythemood @daniblogs164 @mirzamsaiph

#call of duty #call of duty fic #task force 141 x reader #tf 141 x reader #x reader #captain price x reader #John price x reader #gaz x reader #Kyle gaz Garrick x reader #soap x reader #John soap mactavish x reader #Simon Riley x reader #Simon ghost Riley x reader #a/b/o #alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics #Omegaverse

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ultrasharpy12345stuff · 2 months

Text

SUCCESS STORY (manifesting)

OMFG you guys! I did it! I made it to my desired reality! I'm living my desired life!

All I did was decide it's done. More specifically, I just did Angel's fulfillment challenge (which you don't have to do). Everyday I just decided to live like I was in my desired reality right now as often as I could and whenever I wanted to.

If I vented, I vented. If I ranted I ranted. If I sabotaged my manifestation I just decided it wouldn't matter and that nothing would ruin my manifestation and everything was ok and fine.

And this is totally optional but I affirmed sometimes. I just did to remind myself that it was done.

My affirmations were:

-I'm living my desired life

-Nothing can ruin my manifestation

-I'm in my desired reality

-I'm in my desired reality in my penthouse in Tokyo

-I have all my desires

-The 3D conforms instantly

And it worked! And now I'm happy! I woke up today IN my penthouse in Tokyo! The view of the city is amazing. I checked my bank account and it turns out I'm super rich! Like I literally have BILLIONS of dollars. And it's like I always get millions of dollars out of nowhere! So it's like I get paid just to exist!

Also life in this reality is soooooooo different than on Earth. Like the people in the city are nice... but they aren't just humans beings. I'm seeing Japanese monsters walking around wearing uggs! I can also see Godzilla walking around in a place in the city it's so cool! (don't worry, they made a place in the city specifically for her)

I can also enter the void anytime I fall asleep. Like everytime I go to sleep I wake up IN the void state completely aware. I know this because I just decided I would go to sleep and I did! (one of the things I also manifested, to fall asleep instantly)

And guess what? I also revised my ENTIRE life. Like all the shitty, terrible things that happened to me and all the awful things I've done are GONE! They never happened. All the arguments I had with people on Youtube are gone, they never happened. I never met those people. All the people who I argued with on Discord, well I never argued with them. All the problems with my family are gone.

I also have new memories of me being in Highschool. It went great! I made some friends, they never got angry at me, I got to play my videogames, and I never had to deal with any kind of stress. And I also have my college degree even though I never went to college.

Also let me show you what I look like:

This body:

This is my hairstyle (except it's white colored):

This is my face (trigger warning: AI art, also dw I'm black):

And I'm like popular on Twitter. I'm as popular as @rariatoo. People follow my art and they love drawing my OCs and characters, it's so much fun. Plus I have a patreon and a redbubble. I get to make my OCs as plushies and stickers and ship them off.

And the best part is that there's no wars! No covid, no genocide in the Congo or Palestine, no racism, no problems. And there never will be, everything is fine! Its literally a Utopia.

Summary of what I manifested:

-Desired life & reality

-Freezing Time

-Revising entire life

-Different family (same soul but different looks (slightly) and better personality)

-Entering the void whenever I fall asleep and at will

-A butler friend who I can summon and make disappear at will (he's super nice and never have any problems, perfect personality, kinda shy, and we just had some woopie 🥵🤪)

-Magic (I can do LOTS of crazy stuff)

-Being able to shift realities at will

-Visiting my family through a magic door (my family lives in what I call, "Reality # 3 and I can visit them anytime I want)

-Spawning groceries and food whenever I want (I still go out, dw)

-Friends on discord and some IRL

-Money money monayyyyyyyyyyy

-Perfect health and mental health, no problems with my body

-Never getting yelled at ever again or abused/nobody gets abused/abuse doesn't exist. Yellers don't exist.

& a lot of other personal things

You guys got this! You can get your dream life! Go for it! *I didn't get my dream life yet, that's why the title reads:

"SUCCESS STORY (𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴)" When you put "manifesting in the title it means you haven't gotten your desires yet but you're doing it to help you live in the end. SO please don't be angry or offended.*

#void state #law of assumption #loa #manifestation #law of attraction #void #manifest #neville goddard #void success #success story #manifesting #affirm and persist #48HC #3dolc x roe

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decolonize-the-left · 9 months

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.....does anyone else get the vibe that the limitless expanse of the internet, media, and consequent ability to interact politically, spiritually, and apathetically with people locally and globally maybe had an influence not only on the individual's relation to the collective but also their ability to participate in it and see their significance to it?

Can we talk about it?

Like I feel like as some who was a frontline activist and now is a disabled social activist who dabbles in radicalizing liberals... The wall I and my peers continuously keep running into is the collective feeling that someone else will do it.

"it" being whatever action.

For me it's signing a petition, protesting, donating, community organizing (both online and offline).

We get tons of interest on stuff. Interest which very rarely translates to doing more than showing a poster to the friend theyre with before trashing it, reblogging a post, or hitting "interested" or like when we post local events.

And on All these platforms posts gets to a point of "enough" responses where ppl just stop responding and sharing, too.

On Tumblr you see this a lot with donation posts and people constantly having to make new ones. Cuz they're getting notes, but not tangible assistance that will help them. And the reblogs stop because there are so many notes that ppl start assuming that the goal was met or will be met soon.

But that isn't what's happening. And like I said this isn't just with donation posts or money so the answer isn't "well ppl are broke" which would be an easy and sensible answer.

Honestly, I've been thinking that with so Many people easily accessible online with so many opinions and varying levels of popularity and followers that it's easy to lose yourself in them. Especially now when so much of life takes place online.

It's so easy to think you're just one of those many people. ....So surely nobody would notice if you were being a little facetious, right?

Gonna be real, it seems a lot to me like a lot of people are trying to hide their lack of integrity through the anonymity offered online.

And like sure maybe nobody would notice if it was just a few people being facetious about supporting something but it's SO MANY (in my experience? Upwards of a thousand once) and Everywhere. Online, offline, and apps.

And the thing that makes it weird is that every one is assuming that people are being more helpful than they are. That more people are showing up.... Even though they themselves are not showing up either. Like I said reblogs for donations stop, shares stop, and only a handful of ppl show up to events irl. You can literally compare reblogs to the signatures when a petition is being shared.

Wanting to show up isn't the same as showing up.

"People" are not coming to change or show up to the revolution. It's you. You are the people. You are the people that need to show up. Not just as a notification on my screen but actually, because you think someone else will have enough integrity to show up for you but they don't.

Your integrity matters.

You matter so much. I don't know what it is behind this mass behavior that has y'all acting otherwise but I'm telling y'all right now that YOU and the choices that YOU make matter. The events that you choose to spend your time at and how you spend your energy and protecting your rights matters!

That isn't some "im just another drop fighting an endless battle in the ocean" kind of deal.

I'm telling you from experience: there is no ocean! We are in a fucking drought and every drop matters.

Show up. Nobody else is doing it on your behalf.

.......or is it just me? Has anyone else noticed this

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growingupgerudo · 4 months

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@silverwolfs-stuff @sheiks-the-best

Hello to you both! I've been meaning to write a response about the hiatus so consider this an answer to your question as well as others who are wondering!

We did update Patreon with 2 pages on Monday to start a weekly buffer, having two pages ready to post while others are being made. We will update later today so stay tuned. :) I fully intend to return to GUG this month and we've already started on Patreon.

There are also some personal reasons why we haven't updated the public.

(cw: death mention, child death)

I've been busy with my middle school teaching and there was an event that made it difficult to post the public pages. The reason I started GUG was to help come to terms with my father's cancer treatment so GUG was a way to cope with the idea of mortality and the relationships with the people who raised you. I intended to keep this theme as there is a major character death coming up in the public pages.

A month ago I had to deal with the hardest reality of being a teacher -- losing a student far too early in his life. It was a difficult time for the students, the school, myself to take the news. I wasn't ready to post the upcoming pages while dealing with these issues IRL. Sometimes art helps us cope with reality, sometimes it hurts too close so I kept this in mind for myself as well as the audience for GUG. I was able to create these pages last year with a better mindset, but it was hard for me to post them now.

With that in mind, I appreciate your patience and I look forward to updating all of you again with this comic. :) Bad things will happen in GUG, just like growing up in real life, but I assure you guys that there will be sweetness in the end.

Here's to the New Year!

-Junior

#growing up gerudo #legend of zelda #replies #cw death #mod musings

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lowkeyrobin · 2 months

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hi :) i was wondering if i could get somethin with the cricket crew folks (those who are a-okay with xreaders) and a reader who deals with type 1 diabetes, like the reader is having low blood sugar troubles while hanging out pretty please 🦕 (platonic or romantic doesnt, matter to me)

OF COURSEEE OMG sorry for taking so long to get this out, I did a lot of research into this so hopefully I got everything accurate! my dad has type 2 diabetes so sorry if anything got mixed up with that as well 😭 billzo and aimsey are the two that aren't cool with x reader fanfics so I didn't include them, although I'm pretty sure they're okay just being in the bg? lmk if I need to change anything! I genuinley appreciate it

HANDSOME BROS ; you have type one diabetes

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, tubbo, & freddie badlinu

warnings ; swearing, mentions of fainting, mentions of needles/dexcom

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

instantly shoving bills diet coke down your throat

he just panics at first and kinda asks you what to do

yk like in movies when all the characters are shouting over each other in panic? that's him

bill rushes over since his drink just got stolen

"dude, their dexcom needs changed"

"what the fuck is a dex-com!?"

Tommy's too scared to help you in the beginning, literally forces Bill to help you if you need it

even seeing the damn dexcom app on your phone scares him sometimes

like when you walk too far away and it starts doing that scary ass beeping thing, he jumps out of his skin

you left your phone with him while you went to use the bathroom in a public area and your phone started doing the thing because you were too far away and his face went from 😊 to 😨 in a millisecond

"What if they're dead in there???"

wilbur and tubbo are usually the ones reminding him that you're fine and it beeps when you're out of reach

after time, he gets used to it

although he never lets you forget your phone

he's still scared of the beeping

but he learns a lot on how to help you and shit from both you and bill

if he's got an embarrassing question, he'll go to billzo bc he's so scared of making you uncomfortable LMAO

has a whole notes app list for procedures when you're having issues with your dexcom/blood sugar troubles

makes sure you eat some snacks through the day

🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 I'm so hopelessly in love

TUBBO

before you guys even meet up irl he has a talk with you on what to do if problems arise

you literally hear him type it all down on his phone through the vc

he's pretty calm even from the beginning, but sometimes the nerves do get to him

always has to ask if he's doing things to help you the right way and stuff

if you need his help putting the dexcom in a new spot, he'll be there to help but he's about to panic in fear he'll hurt you

"tubbo, it's fine. you can't hurt me"

"I'm scared I will!"

after time, he'll get used to helping you since he knows you're scared of doing it yourself/have trouble putting it in some spots

keeps some snacks in his pockets/backpack when you're out and about so your blood sugar doesn't drop while you're recording a video or something

if you get weasy or feel like you're gonna pass out, he's got the whole emt training istg LMAO

if you're feeling unwell on stream he'll literally force you to get your phone, hop on a different call with him and prove that you're getting food and whatnot

he'll literally force you to eat on stream

chat uses this for intros of tubbo + y/n edits

gets some advice from Bill as well to make sure you're not lying about eating or anything

if he can't get through to you, maybe Bill can because you're going through similar shit

if not him, aimsey will get through to you

in aimsey we trust 🤞

RANBOO

the first time it happens it was while you were out with them and aimsey

you only told the both of them "hey I'm diabetic just so u know" and left it at that

so when you started having blood sugar troubles out and about with them, they didn't know what to do

you kinda had to explain yourself and tell them how to help and stuff

ranboo made a little safe plan after that, now worried that you could possibly faint and stuff

he has a whole like 3 page note on his phone (like size 9 font too) of what to do in certain situations and when to call 911 if needed

he runs it by Bill too in case you guys missed anything

like bi-hourly checkups that your sugar is okay and stuff, making sure the dexcom is working etc etc

makes sure to only take you to restaurants and fast food places where you'll actually eat instead of pulling the "I'm not hungry" bullshit

he's just looking out for you

"we can't go there, y/n won't eat and I haven't seen them eat today. if you guys wanna do that, that's cool, we'll probably run by a gas station or a store to get something for them, though"

"ran, it's fine-"

"shut up. youre eating, you toe muncher"

"WHAT???"

if you're recovering from low sugar and being weasy/feeling like you're gonna faint, he just tries everything to make you smile

from dumb jokes to comfort videos, etc

they'll do anything to make sure you're better than you were before

you and bill have a diabetes competition where you're just talking shit and spewing about how you've got it worse than the other and ranboo just records it 💀💀💀

FREDDIE BADLINU

during the pov you're at a family reunion ranboo stream is the first time you have troubles around your friends

you forgot you needed to change the dexcom and almost halfway through you step out

like half an hour later you're still not back and the whole groups confused to Freddie goes to retrieve you

brother finds you in the bathtub in and out of consciousness

tbh you blame yourself for writing it off and not thinking about a plan just in case but lessons learned

he texts the groupchat to inform the others what happened while you stumble back into frame with Freddie's help bc you were not gonna ruin this for the others or chat, no matter how much he told you that you weren't ruining anything

you were acting a little out of it but he got you eating off the charcuterie board which helped a bit

afterwards, he always makes sure that you're eating properly and helps you with communicating if you need help with your dexcom and stuff

like Tommy, the beeping when you're too far away from your phone scares the shit out of him sometimes

sometimes he gets a little anxious and slides your phone under the bathroom door or quickly gives the phone back like "I'm just making sure you're okay! it disconnected, I got a little worried"

God I'm so head over heels for him 💔💔

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt preferences #mcyt x reader #tommyinnit x reader #mcyt oneshot #ranboo x reader #badlinu x reader #tubbo x reader #cricket crew #cricket crew x reader #freddie badlinu x reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader

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taki-yaki · 25 days

Note

Sorry if this is random or comes at a time where you already have a lot of requests, but how do you think Astarion would react to a Tav who has to take care of/raise their younger sibling and has been trying to get back to them in Baldur's Gate the entire journey?

Hi anon, dw I don’t have too many requests atm. I usually get around 2 or 3 at most, sometimes they take a while since I’m usually trying to think of ideas for requests or just busy doing irl things.

But the idea of Astarion having to deal with a Tav with a younger sibling is unique. Also since I’m the youngest sibling in my family, I’ve got some personal tip bits to add.

Astarion x Tav w/ Younger Sibling Headcanons

Astarion usually thought charming another for protection was nothing but a simple task. Go in compliment them, say a few of his favourite lines and then his protection is secured.

But having to deal with your younger sibling is a factor he had not accounted for. Not that he had an issue with you having a sibling, but more of the fact of how much they intervened.

Whenever it seemed you had some time to yourself in the late evenings, when your sibling was ‘presumably’ asleep, he would attempt to make some moves on you, whether it was with some flirting or teasing. When it seemed that he would make some sort of progress with your relationship, the little imp would seemingly appear from nowhere to start asking all sorts of questions.

“What are you doing?, Can I join in? Why do you have white hair, Why are your teeth so sharp?”.

He would try and keep his distance from the child early on. Choosing to forget the last time he was near a child, forced to be reminded of the monster he was that night. The shouts of battle and the screams of the children he dragged away. So why would this one see him as nothing but a heroic adventure after all he only killed a couple of goblins with ease.

When the child discovers that he’s a vampire, along with the rest of the group. But rather than running away in fear, they seem to only be more fascinated by him.

Of course, they make for a great night's entertainment, with the antics they get up to either blabbing on about the gossip they picked up or saying who they think is your new crush. Being perceptive of others.

“I’ve heard Tav has been talking with the wizard man”

“Hmm and what have they been saying little one, will you lend me an ear?”

“Some stuff about how strong the strong red lady is, they think she’s foxy, but she doesn’t look like one”

Snickering to himself over the naive comments that they make.

The only moments of peace that he gets with you are when he’s out with you away from camp to help with fights. Leaving the child at camp with Halsin or Wyll to keep watch over them often.

However, during the fray of one battle, a shrill voice pulled Astarion out of the chaos of battle. The little brat had snuck outside of camp mainly from all the stories that Karlach and Wyll had told them probably, wanting to see their older sibling in battle for themselves.

As they attempt to run over to their sibling, a Gnoll attempts to strike them down, seeing them as nothing but an easy target. Still, he didn’t know what came over him at that moment, either it was to atone for what he did for those gur children or just a gut reaction, he quickly rushed between them, taking the brute of the hit and protecting them, before swiftly knocking the gnoll out.

After the dust had settled, checking them over for any injuries, Tav approached Astaion,

“I didn’t expect you to be the heroic sort after saving my sibling from doing something so stupid. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Well I can be surprising at times darling, if anything happened to the brat, then you would have been glum about it” before turning his head aside and muttering “And I didn’t want you to see you sad is all”.

Soon after that event, the tyke would badger him even more, seeing him as an idol of sorts. At first, he is miffed by this. But soon leans into it after seeing them attempt to mimic his roguish ways, teaching him how to lockpick chests among other things, which would lead to him being scolded by Tav.

Although he would find their antics to be bothersome at first, he would eventually learn to grow a soft spot for them and a great deal of respect, with the patience you have for them, even when they’re troublesome, it reminds him of his “siblings”, even when they would give you grief, they would still be there to help in any way they can.

#astarion x tav #astarion x reader #bg3 #bg3 astarion #baldur's gate 3 #astarion headcanons

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olderthannetfic · 7 months

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I was an undiagnosed autistic until after I graduated, so for a long time I had a lot of difficulty making friends, particularly in IRL spaces. By the time I was 16 literally every friend I had was online, and since the adults in my life weren't ideal, this online group was really the only support group I had. Unfortunately they were all antis, but they were never the aggressive kind, and I wasn't very well versed in anti/pro discourse at the time anyways, so I just dealt with it. I'd have fun with "problematic" stuff quietly and in private, and everything was alright.

At some point I came across a group of more aggressive antis, and the way that they treated artists in our shared fandom that they didn't like was so jarring to me. I ended up getting into it with them and they held a grudge against me for a long time after that, following and harassing me even after I cut ties and went on with my life with my original friend group. They just would not leave me alone no matter how much time had passed. I'd never seen that before and just tried to ignore them, but fuck were they persistent.

I'd been dealing with a lot more stress after this started, from a wide variety of IRL issues, and aside from not knowing I was autistic, I was also dealing with a lot of other random mental problems that I still don't really fully understand. I think all the stress in my life, from a lot of horrible things that I honestly think I might have PTSD from now, put me into some kind of paranoid mental break. I started behaving really erratically, very publicly. I know it was obvious because I'd constantly get concerned messages asking if I'm okay. People knew I was going through a lot and that I wasn't mentally stable.

With all that being said, this group of antis LOVED seeing me like this. It didn't matter what I was dealing with, that it was destroying my mental health. They had a grudge over some petty fiction stuff, were still upset that I told them off for harassing random people, and they used this fragile period of time for me to amp up their harassment and stalking. I started losing friends I'd trusted for reasons I couldn't understand, and it turned out they'd been telling them I wasn't trustworthy and that they should cut contact. They thought it was so much fun to feed into my pre-existing issues and make things worse.

I don't mean to trauma-dump or anything, so sorry if this is too heavy, but my point is that antis do not and will never care about how much they hurt someone, and that it's likely the entire point to begin with. Even the friends that supported me at the start ended up turning against me once I became too much of a social hazard to associate with. Even the ones who seemed like more "rational" antis, who never went out of their way to hurt anybody. They all turned out to be the same and it never made any difference what our history was or how important they knew they were to me.

It's not worth it to stay. It's never worth it to stay with people like that. Even to this day I'm amazed at how horribly these experiences affected me in the long-term. I go to therapy and end up talking about this period of time more than anything that happened during my childhood. Lots of people I trusted decided I wasn't worth the risk, not even because of anything I did, but just because I said harassment wasn't okay, and because I wasn't in a healthy state of mind. They saw my stress and paranoia and thought "Well, this isn't someone worth helping. People already don't like them. I don't want to throw away my social life for that." All over fiction. I still can't make friends anymore, this destroyed my ability to trust people. The isolation isn't worth the short-term friendships.

Everyone deserves better than that. If somebody is friends with antis... just leave. Trust me. Just get out.

What bullies want most is for you to cry in public.

We might not like to admit it, but deep in the core of many people is a seed of sadistic delight in public humiliation, and not the fun kind you do with consenting partners. When people feel small, when they lack control, when their real enemies are faceless or unreachable, they want something soft and defenseless and small to hurt.

Re your "friends", most people are cowards when it comes down to it.

The ones that aren't are 1. going to get harassed too and 2. are the sort of people who walk into that on purpose, which often means they're pretty confrontational and aggressive the rest of the time. Look at the life of any great activist whom we all thank from afar for what they did for our community... and you will often find a person who's not an easy or calm friend day to day. Not always, but not infrequently.

My actual friend friends that I can rely on are not only older but also usually out of the reach of the sort of people who send me death threats. I don't generally reveal their fandom names on here because it would bring a lot of nuisance down on their heads. (And, tbh, a lot of them are quasi-lurkers anyway.) The Fandom Olds you'll see openly associating with me on Tumblr generally have a cast iron stomach for wank and either like fighting or just find all the combatants so pathetically irrelevant that nothing's going to get through to them emotionally.

Antis do suck, but if you look at any sort of big fandom drama or even offline bullying, you'll see that many people will quietly slither away when the public ostracism of their "friend" gets too much. It's sadly not a property unique to antis.

Most would like to think of themselves as that fictional hero they love who stands up for the downtrodden no matter what the cost. Most are lying to themselves.

It doesn't stop me from being friendly to new people, but yes, I absolutely assume they will fold like wet tissue at the first sign of trouble, especially if I only know them online. They're not all mean people, just weak.

But yes, avoiding people such as antis who've openly told you they're hypocritical cowards with bad values is a step in the right direction.

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 3 months

Text

Brainrot Housekeeping: a little update

Hey friends!

I'm going to be completely honest and say that, for the next several weeks to potentially the next two months, I'm going to be putting my writing schedule on hold. Posting is going to be whatever creativity I can manage that day.

I mentioned early this past week that some stuff has been happening IRL. To keep it brief and hopefully not too triggering, I've been dealing with harassment of multiple kinds from someone at my workplace for almost a year now, and didn't realize how bad it had gotten until I finally brought it up with my superior for advice.

It's been a whirlwind of events, and with multiple investigations happening now and my physical safety at risk, focusing is a lot harder than it used to be.

I don't plan to stop writing! Writing is one of my favorite things to do - you'll still be seeing plenty of thoughts about the M6 and the Arcana in general from me. ^.^ It's a wonderful avenue for healing and self care when I keep realistic standards for myself to prevent burnout.

This is one of those moments when I need to adjust my standards. Until this whole process is seen through and settled, making two full headcanon posts and roughly 18-24 mini headcanon posts a week is more than I should be pushing myself to accomplish.

My workplace is doing a wonderful job of trying to keep me safe and comfortable, and it's very likely that most of the time I'll be able to keep up with my usual routine! But there may days when I post something different (like fanfic clips, or little shorts) or days when I can't post at all.

As always, I love hearing your Arcana thoughts and ideas, and I'm always open to meeting new friends! Please don't hesitate to connect with me :)

Cheers -

brainrot

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #the arcana game #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc

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faroreskiss · 9 months

Text

The Power of Understanding / Pilot (Part 1 v2)

Rewritten to v2 on: 2023/09/10

Cheat Sheet

Read of Ao3

Chapters: Pilot, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

Summary: You have been with the Chain for a while now, as their "scholar" and translator. You know everything about them, because you are from our world. But do *they *know the truth about how you can understand everyone?

A little introduction and world building concept for the Translator!Reader and her adventures. Check notes below for more info!

Non-linear fic.

AU fic, prior to TotK (instead of TotK, chain events happen).

Loosely based on the same reader in my NSFW fic, which is a very loose prequel to this one, and a work in progress.

More background info to come, if I feel like it :D

Warnings: None, maybe some cussing, but nothing is censored. SFW content.

Points of interest: This is your thing if you are into the mystery of chain being able to talk to each other. I am an actual trained linguist IRL, hence this HAD to be written!

You were daydreaming in the middle of the day about him again, amidst the smell of horse shit around you, when you're supposed to be finishing the work you have until the end of the day. Or until a new portal pops up to swallow you all to Goddess knows which Hyrule this time. Damned black-blooded monsters. At least, this gave you some break.

You, coming from our own era, have been acting as the scholar of the Chain for the last couple of years, while hopping from world to world with them. Knowing this, Malon put you to work on the books of the ranch, instead of letting you deal with the cows or the horses, even though you really didn’t have anything specific to do with maths. You thought she was being kind to you, not letting you deal with dirty ranch work, you guessed? She was a sweetheart either way.

You wanted to hang out with Twilight at the same time, so instead of using the little study Malon offered, you took the books and went down to the stables. You continued with your own stuff, while he was taking care of the horses.

There was also this little thing: you were the only one who understood every single one of them, (almost) very clearly, comparatively speaking. Sure they could communicate without you just as well, but due to a bunch of coincidences, you were the closest thing to the “translation magic”, if you can call it that. Maybe it was your Hoshi Sato gene*. Maybe it was the fact that you actually stayed with Link & Zelda in the post-Calamity world, around two years prior meeting the Chain**, maybe a bit of magic was also involved. Hylia works in mysterious ways! Did it almost cost you your brain? Yes. Was it worth it? Absolutely.

Some Links, of course, understood each other better than the others, especially when their eras were, linguistically speaking, not that far. Time and Twilight were just fine. Legend and Hyrule were already able to understand each other, even a little bit better than Time and Twilight. Sky was a bit further away and had a “funny way of saying things” (according to the Sailor), almost gibberish, but when you listened and when he spoke slowly enough, you could at least get the gist of what he was trying to say. Wind, Time, and Warriors already knew each other from other “incidents” before the Chain, so they already had a way of communicating.

These worlds also did not have many invasions and wars by “outsiders”, if you don’t count things like the Triforce War, Imprisoning War, Sealing War, and of course, anything that had to do with Demise, Ganon & co. and their horrible reincarnations. This meant, not a lot of language change.

In the end, what happened was that over the two years you have been together with the group, you helped them understand each other better. They adjusted their accents, and somehow warped the Hylian they speak in a way that the group would understand (and especially you), when the dialogue was still within the group. Of course, the Old Man would speak more “naturally” with Malon and vice versa, and some of the chain would adjust better (e.g. Twilight or Smithy) to the language of the era they are in. After some point, communication was not that much of a problem. You learnt it all in the end.

Writing?

Funny enough, Wild, Sky, and Twilight had similar scripts. Time and Wind had more similar writing systems. Wild, Wars, Legend, Time, and Rulie were also better at understanding the scripts of their respective eras. Overall, other than a couple of hiccups, most understood the others’ script to an extent.

And then there was Wild. Also known as “The Cook” nowadays. The rest of the chain didn’t know you called them the Chain in your mind, and had your little nicknames for them. The nicknames most likely revealed a bit too much, and even though most of the secrets were out nowadays… You knew better than to risk more. You have caused enough damage, you would think sometimes. Even though you just couldn’t resist the urge.

Anyway… Wild, his case and communication issues… were complicated.

According to the rest of the chain when you guys first met, whatever he was saying (and vice versa) was almost complete gibberish at first. Some terms and special names like “deku,” “korok,” “Hylia,” “Hyrule,” “rupee,” and such were still there, albeit with a different accent, and they helped, but it was not enough. You only found out later that it was kind of… your fault.

In the end, he was also able to communicate with them just fine. Each Link had their own… language variation and accents, so to say. Some of them did not even have the difference enough to call it a “dialect” comparatively. As you thought, language change is a slow enough process, and with the lack of ‘conflicts’ (for lack of a better word) compared to your world, no wonder they were still somehow able to understand each other. .

The Goddesses work in mysterious ways indeed.

How did it work for you, though? There was this little secret that… First time around, when you first dropped into Wild's Hyrule, “Hylian” was basically a weird mesh-up of English and Japanese to your ears, after the enchantment from the Great Fairies you have received. It was “so you could slowly understand and grasp and communicate”, you were told.

Oh boy, it really felt like a genie granting you a wish, but in its own twisted way. You found that out later though.

Second time around when you first met the rest of Links, though? The first enchantment… kind of messed everything up. Second time around, you actually ended up learning real Hylian. At least, the Hylian that was used as a lingua franca between you guys.

Of course, some learning skill enchantment was definitely not out of the deal this time as well, thanks to Rulie & Time and their fairy friends, and of course the Smithy. But what a disaster it had been! Well, it wasn’t your fault that the first time the enchantment was made, nobody calculated that you would meet the Links from other eras.

You also naturally know the reason behind why Links in kind of irrelevant eras could decipher each other's texts, even when they didn’t understand the words all the time. Some were based on the Latin alphabet, and some were on Japanese kana. No way you could clearly explain it to them.

“Oh, by the way, you are made by a game company called Nintendo, and this guy is called Miyamoto…”

Yeah, no. That didn’t go well last time. Nobody even understood what you meant.

That was a battle to fight for another day… Now, you need to focus on the budget of the Lon Lon Ranch. And not be distracted by Twilight’s statue.

________________

Notes:

Fanciest and most OP translator you will ever know. Star Trek Universe.

"You” already spent three years with Link and Zelda in Wild’s world and were enchanted by the Great Fairies (with Zelda’s involvement) for the improvement of learning abilities.

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dtupdates-archive · 6 months

Text

♡—DREAM posted on Twitter. Transcript under the cut.

“-stuff from last year-

Thousands of likes on this is crazy. Using a 10 second clip to purposefully spread misinformation and lie is so disgustingly vile. I did not “admit to doing horrible things”, at all, literally the exact opposite happened. Here’s summarized context for those that want to see what was actually said;

“No one was groomed. She lied about taking legal action, she lied about providing more proof later, and lied about almost everything that was shared. It’s been over a year since she said she would provide proof. I have and will be releasing the Snapchat data, Instagram logs, twitter history, and timeline, which proves by a matter of fact that she deleted certain messages, lied and hid context, and that she never provided these easily obtainable logs because they contradicted some of her own words.

I primarily used Snapchat as a messaging platform before I revealed my face because I was hiding what I looked like and everything else about my life IRL. I had many people from online games & content creation on it, and used it for everything, so I didn’t look at Snapchat as a big deal. I changed my mind on that before this even happened and made a private Snapchat for close friends.

Her story contradicts itself many times. with her saying that we planned a local meet up, while I was faceless and would literally leave the state just to go to the dentist, and hadn’t shown my face to even my best friends yet. with her liking and replying to tweets of mine and defending me from criticism, only a week before she posted about how horrible I was. with her not posting a single screenshot, video, log, or ANY BIT of evidence of anything that she claimed, other than that we had friendly conversation. With her DMing me from her IRL Instagram, with no fan posts and only her real life info, deleting posts, and actively hiding that she was currently a big parasocial fan.

On top of that, she had something in her bio insinuating that she was an adult, so I had no reason to even think about her age. Nothing inappropriate happened so I wasn’t looking into whether she was 17.9, 18, or 30. It doesn’t even matter if she wasn’t an adult, because we were just having short friendly conversation, she wasn’t groomed, and we weren’t even friends. I even (provably) tried deleting her from my Instagram inbox multiple times but Instagram doesn’t let you unless you block someone.

I did not reply in detail publicly (besides denying the accusation immediately) at first, due to waiting on her claim that she was taking legal action & providing more proof, and advice from a lawyer. She never did either. I did not lash out publicly in frustration, because I had to be very careful and think about how my response could impact future victims willingness to come forward against an abuser. I’ll be going into more organized detail later in a video on one of my channels, with far more than this, and just uploading all of everything for anyone to go through. but there’s a lot to say and it’s a delicate thing to talk about in general.””

#dt.update #dreamwastaken #d.twt #tw grooming #drituation

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normal-internet-user · 1 year

Note

💜 here, you take your time with your irl stuff BUT just know that I 100% support you doing a part two of big sis reader getting revenge for Mikey against Bradford. Take him down a peg. Maybe like— fake enrole in his class and act all stupid and inexperienced then during sparring just LAY HIM OUT in front of his class/friends?! Or something like that? I know you can do it better 💜 but take your time and deal with life, stay hydrated and well rested, I’ll be patient.

I wasn't gonna write any fic about that little thought, but you hath inspired me! Also thanks for the reminders, they are much appreaciated, highschool can be pretty ugh-

CALL ME KARMA

◇~~◇~~◇~~◇~~◇

Summary: In which reader avenges Mikey by absolutely destroying Chris Bradford in his own dojo.

Warnings: None really, just Chris gettin his ass beat. and swearing.

Requested: 💜 Anon!

Female Reader!

....................................

"Hey guys, I'm home... what the shell happened?"

Donnie sighed, "So, basic rundown. Mikey was manipulated by Chris Bradford into thinking they were friends, but turns out he works for the Foot."

You felt your vision go red, the familar feeling you get when someone harms your brother creeping up, "I'm sorry, what?"

Raph huffed, "Some douche bag celebrity tricked Mikey."

You hummed, setting down your bag, "You said Chris Bradford?"

"Mhm."

"Ok, I'll be back later."

"You just got back." Donnie said, shooting you a questioning look.

"Yeah, where are you going, Ane-chan?" Mikey asked.

You looked back at him with a smile as you pocketed your wallet, "To either get ice cream, or commit a felony. I'll decide on the way."

Before anyone could say anything else, you left, leaving behind some very confused brothers...

You arrived at Bradford's dojo rather quickly, and you quickly plastered on a smile of feighned innocence.

Walking in you smiled at the man in question, and he paused his current lesson to walk over to you, "Can I help you, miss..?"

Ignoring his question of your name with feighned stupidity, you looked up at him, "Oh, I sure hope so! You see I'd like to sigh up for some lessons! It's just not safe for a young gal like me to walk around New York with no way to defend myself, so I thought, 'Why not go to the one and only Chris Bradford for help!' and so here I am!" you smiled innocently.

The idiot chuckled, "Well, I'm always happy to teach the younger generation, my assistant will give you an extra robes and discuss payment, then you can join the class."

When he turned around to continue his lesson, you smirked wickedly, this poor idiot had no idea he was about to be schooled, Hamato style...

The entire lesson, you pretended to know nothing of ninjitsu, all the way up to the end where apperently it was tradition for Bradford to spar any new comer to, 'See how much they learned' aka, 'Make myself look better'.

You stood in the middle of the dojo, Bradford standing opposite to you while the staff and students stood off to the side.

"I won't be taking it easy on you." Bradford said, snarkily in your opinion.

"Oh, I sure hope so, Sensei." you said, innocent act gone and a scowl present.

Bradford noticed the change and you could tell he had grown nervous, but knew he couldn't back out without looking dumb infront of his peers and students.

His assistant shouted, "Start!" and the fight began with Bradford attempting to pull you into a chokehold.

You dodged, and just the way your father had taught you to take down anyone bigger, you used Bradfords momentum to yank him to the ground, his arm held behind him with one of your feet on the back of his neck.

He tried to stand up and push you off himself, but you pulled his arm tighter, and placed more pressure on the back of his neck.

"Uh- uhm, f-finished!" Shouted his assistant.

You let Bradford go, and backed up as you bowed at each other. When you straightened, Bradford glanced at you with malice, muttering, "Who are you?"

You smirked, "Oh, you've met my brothers. I'm Hamato (Name), but you can call me karma, bitch. That, was for Mikey."

"How dare you come here, Hamato, and embarass me in my own dojo-"

"How dare you mess with my kyoudai?" You scowled.

You moved to collect your things, walking out the door as you shouted, "Send Oroku Saki my regards dickweed!"

You began your way home, stopping by a convenience store to pick up a big gallon of napolian ice cream.

You then arrived home, the gallon of ice cream in hand, "Kyoudai! Otou-sama! I'm home!"

Mikey ran into the main room from the kitchen, "No way, GUYS ANE-CHAN BROUGHT HOME ICE CREAM!"

Donnie walked in, glancing at the bag now in Mikey's hand, then at you, "So I take it you didn't commit a felony?"

"I did both." you grinned, taking the ice cream back from your youngest brother so you could actually get everyone some.

Donnie sighed, and Leo and Raph joined you on your way to the kitchen, "What did you do?"

"I didn't pay a dojo fee."

Leo looked at you confused as he accepted the bowl of ice cream you handed him, "Dojo fee- (Name) you didn't..."

"HA!" Raph snorted, holding up his t-phone to show a gif of you slamming Bradford into the ground, "Look at what's trending all over the internet, 'Chris Bradford gets his butt beat by a female student.'"

Mikey smiled, "No way! You beat up Chris Bradford?"

You nudged Mikey's shoulder, "Sure did. The idiot didn't stand a chance."

"Wow, you're awesome, Ane-chan!"

"Anything for you, otouto."

....................................

Quick little translation!

Otouto: Little Brother

Otou-sama: Father

Ane-chan: Older sister/ big sister

Kyoudai: Little brothers

If any if these are wrong, let me know!

#tmnt #tmnt x reader #x reader #leonardo x reader #donnie x reader #raphael x reader #mikey x reader #platonic x reader #tmnt x reader platonic #big sister reader #Normie writes

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catboybiologist · 7 months

Text

1 month HRT update and journal thingy!

So as I said in my pinned post, I'm gonna be doing a monthly kind of progress check on HRT. Well, it's been 32 days, so here it is! Here's some measurements of interest:

But, I found that the raw measurements, and a single "other column" wasn't sufficient to really catalogue my experience. So I wrote a long, probably overly detailed account of some of the things I've experienced in the past month.

And holy shit, what a month it's been.

So first off, lets start with what’s not happening. Some good, some bad. I think I missed the skin softness gene or something. I’ve really noticed no change in skin texture, and that’s often cited as the first noticeable physical change from HRT. My skin was somewhat soft before, but nothing like the transfemmes I know irl, so this was a bit disappointing. But in all honesty, it’s not that big of a deal.

The other thing that I haven’t noticed yet is a reduced aerobic capacity or physical ability. I’m sure this will come in time, but the interesting thing here is that one of my main physical activities, freediving, is actually a far more direct measurement of aerobic capacity than most others. I can’t do this in nearly a consistent enough way to actually log it, but my casual breath hold times in the couple of times I’ve been freediving since starting HRT haven’t changed. On a fairly standard dive, I usually stay down 60-70 seconds, and that’s still true. With good prep and good air conservation on the bottom (I like to hold onto rocks and kelp, and stay motionless while looking around lol), I can get 90 seconds or beyond (I don’t like pushing it). Part of the problem is that so much of this is variable, and is highly dependent on how good my equipment prep is that day (insulation and weighting), water conditions (cold and rough=more energy=shorter dives), and my boy physiology (how much I’ve eaten, caffeine intake, etc). But in general, I haven’t noticed major physical fitness changes yet.

Weight gain has been intermittent. I’ve always been a bit swingy on my weight, and can easily go +/- 5lbs in no time at all. At one point, I was 4lbs over my pre-HRT weight (3 week interval), but now I’m down to 1 pound over. My waist is slightly thinner than it was pre-HRT, but that seems to be normal fluctuation. Where did the extra 1-3lbs go? We’ll get to that, LOL.

My waist measurement hasn’t changed, but anecdotally, I do think there’s changes going on there. The 43 inches measurement is still at my widest point, around my thighs (which have always been pretty good). Now, however, I’m noticing what seems to be some growth on areas that aren’t covered by the exact circle I’m using to measure that. My butt seems slightly bigger, although I could just be lying to myself. Time will tell.

Onto the stuff that has changed!

Mood. Oh my god mood. My resting state is no longer a crackling misery. I don’t think I was ever suicidal because of dysphoria alone, but I was certainly pushed to that point far, far easier when it was a contributing factor. I also just… didn’t enjoy anything about my body. When I was happy, it was a distraction. Now, it’s already much better. I still don’t like my body. I got a long way to go. But, I’m seeing progress, and it’s been incredible.

Emotions overall have been more intense. I’ve had a couple of downswings, and I get misty eyed easier. I haven’t had a proper cry yet, though. I get excited about things again, which was a COMPLETELY dead feeling. And I have also gotten angry at some things, which is also something I killed as a teenager because I was scared of where it took me. It hasn’t been as uncontrollable as I expected, however, and the negative emotions I’m experiencing more viscerally have been immensely cathartic.

And then, there's the big one. Hopefully that's literal. And that's breast growth. Almost immediately I noticed some kind of perking up, but no breast bud formation and no immediate growth. At about week 2, I was able to feel the distinct disks of breasts buds under my nipples, and my bust size started increasing. Now, at 4.5 weeks in, my bust size is 1.5 inches larger than it was pre-HRT.

This is ludicrously fast. As in, so fast it has me questioning if I'm actually intersex or something. I think my E levels will be enlightening.

I really, REALLY don’t want to get too hopeful. But overall, if some of these trends continue… I’m gonna get a LOT curvier. Honestly, my ideal body would be pretty tight and trim… but I’m fucking estatic anyways. I’m just really, really hoping that the breast growth trend continues, and also that the tiny observations I’ve made about a bigger butt and thinner waist are actually real. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to boymode like this LMAO.

There’s also the opposite fear: if my estrogen levels are too high, it could signal the end of “puberty” too early. It’s looking like a possibility, but I gotta wait until next week for my levels check.

There’s one final set of observations I wanna put here, but y’all gotta not be weird about it LOL. I WILL block you and erase this part if you treat this as anything more than impartial observations about myself. Got it? Good. NSFW warning for the next bit.

I want to make some remarks on libido and erogenous sensitivity in general, because that has also been one of the most notable changes.

First off, I heard so many stories about HRT killing libido. Holy fuck, this has not been true for me. I’m going crazy sometimes LOL. I absolutely have a somewhat higher libido on average, but its already changed the way its expressed itself.

First off, my entire body is more sensitive to erogenous soft touch. The right kind of touch and care on my waist will feel very similar to more traditional erogenous zones. I’ve NEVER had this before, and was completely blindsided by it. I’m absolutely fascinated by what neural change caused that, but its really cool even if I don’t know the underlying explanation.

Second off, my libido spikes and hot flashes sometimes. I think this is pretty typical of anyone going under a hormonal change, and tbh I’m not surprised.

Third off is the weirdest one, and something that I’ve asked other transfemmes about, and none have been able to answer. My chest sensitivity seems to be going through very distinct mini-cycles, on the approximate span of time being one full “cycle” per week. Essentially, when I started HRT, my chest first got very sore, itchy, and sensitive to sources of pain and itchiness. It stayed like that for a few days, and then all sensitivity to the area cut out. My nipples pre-HRT were always more sensitive than other cis men, and in this phase, they were actually less sensitive than they were pre HRT. This lasted another couple of days… and then there was a period of massively increased erogenous sensitivity. Soft touches made me wild, and I started wearing bra not for the support, but to block my shirt from rubbing against them and distracting me. Holy FUCK, this phase is insane. And then after that, they went back to sore again, and then dead again, and then erogenous again. Right now, I’m in the erogenous “phase” of what I think is the fourth cycle here since I started HRT. I have no fucking clue what’s going on. It’s not the period that some trans women report getting, its not a monthly thing. It might just be my body adjusting strangely to new hormones in general, but yeah. Its weird, bc it seems like a pretty unique thing.

So yeah. That’s a journal thing. I had a LOT more thoughts about HRT starting beyond just the initial measurements, because so much hit me way faster than I thought it would, so I wanted to write something long form. I think I’m going to write something similar each month along with my measurements update, but I expect future writing to be much, much shorter. It’s been incredible so far, but I’m guessing less will be novel- I think things will only be different when I change aspects of my HRT regimen. We’ll see.

#trans #transitioning #trans progress #trans journal #hrt #trans hrt #transfemme hrt #transfemme #trans woman #transgender #hrt progress

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

Note

I suspect I know the answer but. AITA for "disappearing" from my online accounts pretty regularly?

I (22) have been fairly active in online fandom culture since I was ~13. Most of that has been on tumblr, some on twitter/tiktok/discord. I bounce around between different fandoms-- there's not really any one fandom that has stuck since I was a kid-- and I'm not a big creator. I don't do art, I occasionally write fanfic but never anything that's gotten super famous (which I'm cool with, I write for the enjoyment of myself and the like 5 other freaks who like the same things I do. it would honestly really bother me if I got too much attention.)

I also have some issues with paranoia and social detachment. I dealt with rather severe childhood abuse, which I'm not going to discuss, but which basically means I'm very emotionally detached. I have solo hobbies i really enjoy, and I like discussing common interests (like fandom stuff) with people, but I've never really had friends/romantic interests, and have zero interest in either of those things. The only people I'm really close to are my siblings. I'm definitely not an introvert, not shy/socially anxious, and not lonely. I have morals and care about society in a general sense, and I want the best for people, so I try to be polite and a Good Person as much as possible-- but ultimately I don't feel any kind of attachment to other people. I really don't want to hurt people, I just want to be left alone.

I really try to politely communicate this to people, since I've had quite a few incidents where I've been told I "lead people on", or people thinking we're friends and then getting upset when they realize I really don't care that much about them. It does make me feel bad to hurt others like that (and is also frustrating to deal with), but I can't exactly force myself to have emotions. I get along well with my irl coworkers/classmates/roommates, since they understand I just need a lot of space. Where I may be TA is with online friends.

About once every 6-12 months, I delete my entire online presence and start over. I orphan my ao3 fics, delete any and all accounts, and make sure my new accounts don't in any way link back to my old accounts. Usually when I do this it's because 1 I've changed interests and don't care about my old fandom, or 2 I feel like the people I know online start getting too close and emotionally attached to me. I usually post an explanation a few days before so people don't think something bad happened, saying that I'm going to be taking a break from social media for a while, and if anyone asks me for another way to contact me I just say I'm going to be completely offline. Then I just.... wipe everything and start over. I don't really know what my old mutuals are doing and don't particularly care? Like obviously I wish all the best for them, but I just don't think about them at all.

I've been doing this since I was a young teenager, but I was discussing fandom/social media presence with some irl classmates recently and brought it up. The reactions ranged from "weird but harmless" to "super mean and hurtful to the people you abandoned".

So: tumblr, AITA for disappearing?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

108 notes · View notes

hongcherry · 8 months

Text

pretty please (stay with me) || c.sc | 4 (m)

“After being assigned a fashion show for your big senior project, you set off to find volunteers to make it successful. However, when you meet Choi Seungcheol and his unfriendly clique through your volunteers, you realize they’re an unwanted package deal you can’t escape from. Can you handle Seungcheol’s obnoxious friends, and can he handle your brash behavior?”

🍒 Pairing: businessMajor!Seungcheol x fashionMajor!Reader (afab)

🍒 Rating/Genres/AUs: M(18+); Slice of life (!!!), slow burn, drama, fluff, angst, smut; Unrequited enemies to lovers, strangers to lovers, college au

🍒 Warnings: General tws + alcohol consumption/drunk character, one physical altercation (not domestic abuse; not between mc&Cheol), name calling not in bed (whore, bitch), vomit, joke about murder | [smut warnings] soft sex, messy sex, protected sex, oral (m & f), face fucking, gagging, light breast play, cum swallowing, light cum play, spit play

🍒 WC: 12.1k

🍒 Betas: Sarah, Indi, Kelly, Freya 💝

🍒 Author’s Note: I am SO sorry I haven't replied to some of your responses to the last chapter. Something big happened IRL that made me want to withdraw from people for a while. Though, I've read the feedback and appreciate all the sweet words! I promise to reply to them soon. Anyway, lots of stuff happening in this chapter, so please enjoy more drama 😬💖

also read here: AO3 | Wattpad

seventeen masterlist | main masterlist

previous chapter \\ series masterpost // next chapter

“Hold still!” you urge as you try to hold the fabric in place.

Mingyu squirms above you, tiny giggles escaping his mouth. “It tickles!”

“I’m going to stab you with this needle if you keep moving,” you explain and peer up at him.

“I’ll tell your boyfriend you said that,” he grumbles and calms his movements. His hands clench as he tries to resist the need to move.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” you reply, annoyed. You adjust the fabric on him, then slip in a needle to keep it in place.

“I’m sure Seungcheol won’t be happy to hear that,” he mutters.

Your eyes narrow, poking another needle in.

“Ow!” Mingyu cries and moves away from you. “That was on purpose.”

You raise your eyebrows. “Was it? I think you just moved wrong.”

“I didn’t move at all!” he argues.

You ignore his complaint and point back in front of you. He sighs, obliging to your request.

You had met Mingyu at his apartment to try out the outfit you made for him. For the most part, it fits nicely, but there are a few adjustments that need to be made.

You hear keys rattling at the door and peer your head to see who’s coming. Wonwoo and Seungkwan stroll in. They stop mid-sentence when they see you.

“Hey Yn, we didn’t know you’d be here,” Seungkwan greets. You turn away from them and attend to Mingyu again.

“Surprise,” you say, although with no enthusiasm in your tone.

“What’s going on?” Wonwoo asks while setting down his camera bag. He tosses his keys next to it and walks to the kitchen.

“Yn’s stabbing me with needles because I brought up her boyfrie—Ow!”

“Oops,” you shrug. You quickly pin the fabric in its new spot. You didn’t think it'd take this long, but Mingyu kept fidgeting.

“You have a boyfriend?” asks Seungkwan.

“No,” you reply curtly. “Done. Now, go take it off, so I can make the changes.”

“Finally,” Mingyu replies and leaves without another word. He probably doesn’t want to be poked with another needle.

“Who was he talking about then?” Seungkwan wonders.

“No one. How are you guys?” you ask in hopes to change the subject. You start repacking the bag you brought.

“Pretty tired, but that seems to be the normal life of a college student,” Seungkwan says with a chuckle.

“How’s the project?” Wonwoo chimes in, a glass of water in his hand.

You stand up from the floor and adjust your clothes. “It’s going,” you answer with an exhale.

“Are tickets on sale for it yet?” he questions. You pause in grabbing your purse from the couch.

“You’re going to go to it?” you ask, not expecting him to come. It doesn’t seem like his thing.

“Of course! We’re all planning to come—Shit, wait, was that a secret?” Seungkwan stops himself, his hand coming up to his forehead as his mouth opens.

“Dude!” Mingyu calls as he emerges from the other room. He hands you the garment, eyeing Seungkwan.

“Blame Wonwoo! He brought up getting tickets,” Seungkwan whines and sends a slender finger in Wonwoo’s direction.

“No one told me we weren't supposed to tell Yn,” Wonwoo huffs.

“Seungcheol’s going to rip you all a new one,” Mingyu tsks.

“Seungcheol?” you question and look at the tall man.

Has Seungcheol been planning for all of them to come to your show?

“Uh, a d-different Seungcheol. Not the one you know. Kim Seungcheol! Not Choi Seungcheol. Youdon’tknowhim,” Mingyu rambles, words rushing together. His gaze is darting around the room—landing on anything but your eyes.

“I see,” you say slowly. You know they’re aware you don’t believe Mingyu’s lie.

“Please don’t say anything to him,” Mingyu pleads, his lower lip sticking out in a pout. He’s such a big puppy.

You sigh, fixing your bag on your shoulder. “Say what to who?”

“Precisely.” Seungkwan smiles.

You make your way to the door, turning after you open it.

��I'll text you when we can meet again, Mingyu,” you inform him.

“Alright. Bye, Yn,” he replies. They all give you a wave as you exit their place.

You aren’t sure what to do with knowing Seungcheol is coming to the show. More unexpectedly, you don’t know what to do knowing he’s arranging for his friends to come too. You aren’t even sure if your father and Seoah will come. You’ll like to say that you don’t care if no one you know shows up. As long as scouts come and are amazed by your work, that’s all you need. Though the more you grow fond of these people, the more you want them to be your friends and support you like how Dae supports you. Beyond that, you want Seungcheol to support you—to be proud of you. Even though you aren’t supposed to know about his attendance, it gives you a sudden boost of motivation to do better. Not only for yourself but for your friends so they can be proud to say they know you.

You arrive at Dae’s fully prepared to have a sewing partner for the night. However, you end up with a shot glass in your hand at a bar.

“To almost being done with this project,” Dae declares, her glass rising in the air.

“What you said,” you reply. You clink your glass against hers, tapping it on the counter, then tipping your head back as you drown the alcohol. The burning in your throat is temporary, and you turn in your seat to look around while it settles. The place is crowded, as expected on a Friday night.

Dae had worked for twenty minutes before she let out a frustrated puff of air. She claimed she was tired of staring at fabric and needed a break. You suggested she go rest on the couch, but her idea of taking a break was different from yours. Despite your protests, Dae dragged you from her home and got a ride to her favorite bar. You used to accompany Dae here a lot, but you were never a drinker, and you often had to tend to your family most nights. Thus, your trips became less frequent.

Although Dae’s goal is to get drunk, yours is not. You’ve taken two shots and plan to call it a night. You don’t want to spend the night babysitting Dae, but it seems you have no choice. She’s dragged you from one bar to another—ordering a drink at each. She’ll offer you a sip, and each time, you shake your head.

The occasional person will slither up and offer to pay for your drinks. It’s annoying because you don't need to cater to boosting a stranger’s ego. They always want something in return, and you’re not going to give them anything.

You decline politely the first time, sternly the second, and bitchy the third. The ones who get the third “no” are less thrilled to hear it, but that doesn’t bother you. You are fully prepared to use your heels as a weapon if one gets too offended. Luckily, that hasn’t had to happen so far.

“Hm, ‘tis one tastes like… ‘otton ‘andy!” Dae exclaims excitedly as she takes another sip. You watch her redden-face light up for the nth time while drinking this one. “’ou should try it!”

You force a smile and shake your hand, telling her no. Her face drops.

“But you wuv ‘otton ‘andy,” she whines and slides the drink to you. Her eyes become glossier the longer you refuse the drink. “I pwomise ‘ou’d wuv it!”

You glance at the drink. It’s a pretty blue color and looks appetizing. Sighing, you raise the glass to your mouth. You let the liquid touch your lips, then set it down. Your tongue darts out to taste it. You have to admit, the small drop you get does taste good.

“Delicious,” you hum, giving her a big smile. Her body straightens quickly, and you grab her arm when she leans a little too far back.

“Shee!” she beams.

“Finish it, so we can go,” you instruct, moving the glass back. There isn’t much left. She shakes her head.

“You!” she answers.

“You deserve it more. You’ve been working hard,” you say. Her brows suddenly tilt down, mouth in a deep frown. She looks like she’s about to cry.

“’ve been! Gawd I’m sh-o tired, but I ‘ave to do goodth,” she says and puts her head on the table, although harder than she means to. You wince at the loud thud. “Can’t let ‘tis go to ‘atse.”

You place a hand on her back, rubbing soothing circles. “It won’t. Someone’s going to come and see your work and offer you a job. You’re talented, Dae.”

Her head lifts up, bobbing slightly at the weight. “Yeah?”

“Yes,” you answer, and you mean it. You don’t compliment her work as much as she does yours. It’s always easier not to mention it instead of risking a heartfelt conversation. Those always make you feel weird. “You’re not top of the class for no reason.”

She shakes her head. “’ou’re top of ta class.”

“I didn’t say you were the only one up there,” you tease gently, causing her to giggle.

“’m glad ‘ou think that o’ me,” she answers with a loud sigh. “It’s ‘ard to be compar’d to ‘ou.”

You try to hide your frown. She rarely mentions how being associated with you affects her. Sure, you’ve guessed before, but you’ve never brought up the topic. Partly because you’re afraid of the answer. You don’t want to hear how you’ve made her feel insecure. You don’t want to know all the troubles you’ve indirectly or directly put her through.

Although it will be easier to talk about this when she’s intoxicated since she may not remember it, it isn’t right.

“Don’t compare. You have talents I don’t have,” you say.

“’ike?” she wonders, but you shake your head.

“We can talk about it when you’re sober,” you explain. After making sure everything is paid for, you gently help her down the stool.

“’ne’ore bar!” she begs, hands holding your arms tightly.

“One more,” you repeat, “but a small drink this time,” you bargain.

“Ye’sh!” she shouts, throwing her arms up and tripping over her feet. You reach out quickly and steady her. Once she’s balanced again, you carefully walk toward the exit. You lean Dae against you to try to get her to stop swaying as you walk to the next bar.

“’ey! Whadd’s ‘at?” Dae quickly points to the floor, reaching down before you can stop her. The fast movement combined with the shift in weight has her falling to the floor. You instinctively reach out to ease her fall, but it’s no use. She’s on the floor before you can blink. There is laughter behind you, but you ignore it. It isn’t the first time someone’s fallen over from being drunk on this street.

“Fhuck!” Dae whines and stares at her hands. There are a few concrete burns on them, but nothing antibiotics and band-aids can’t fix.

“I think we’re done for the night,” you say and offer a hand to her.

She repositions to her hands and knees, reaching up to grab your outstretched hand. However, her supporting arm isn’t strong enough to hold her weight, and the sudden tug on your hand as she falls again forces you to the floor. You hit her head on the way down, yelping at the feeling and letting go of Dae to caress the area. Additionally to the thud, there is a crack as you fall.

For a second you think you broke something. Though, besides the soreness on your hands, knees, and head, nothing feels broken. You move your legs to rest in front of you only to see one of your shoes has lost its heel piece.

The giggles behind you grow louder.

“How pathetic,” a voice laughs. It’s familiar, but you dismiss it to be someone you heard in one of the bars you went to.

“Really,” another person adds.

You dust off your legs, seeing matching red on your exposed skin. Dae’s sudden loud voice makes you jump.

“’ere it is!” Dae announces happily. Her hand comes into view, and in it is a coin. Your shoulders sag.

All this for a coin.

“You’re going to spend that on buying me a new pair of shoes,” you huff, removing your heels. It isn’t ideal to walk barefoot, but you don’t feel like hobbling your way around.

“No!” she cries and moves the coin from you quickly. Her movement is too big and quick, and you have to grab her again before she falls backward. You swiftly tug her upright.

“Just stop moving!” you growl and tighten your hold on her to keep her still.

“Wait, is that Yn?” someone says behind you. At the sound of your name, you glance over your shoulder. As if your night can get worse.

Hajun sputters, a smile growing at the sight of you. “Oh my god, it is. No wonder they are so pitiful.”

“Both of them,” Hana giggles.

“Of course, you befriend those similar to you. It’s only right they’re friends.”

Your eyes narrow on them, hand twitching as you fight the urge to chuck your non-broken heel at their faces.

“Isn’t that right?” you scoff. “You’re both pieces of shit and friends. Wow! Truly a match.”

You clasp your hands together, voice going higher as you pretend you’re elated for them.

“Says the whores who are on the floor. It’s where you belong anyway,” Hajun replies, arms crossing over her chest.

“And you know where you belong? Beaten and bruised in the hospital. I can help with that,” you threaten and start to stand up to do just that. However, there is wetness spreading on your lower half accompanied by gagging. You gasp at the sensation and look down to see what happened.

Your night definitely just got worse.

Dae has emptied her stomach and looks like she’s about to do it again. You scramble up and move aside, grabbing her hair to hold it back as you try to block out the sound of her hurling. You hate that you can feel her vomit trailing down your legs now that you are upright on your knees. The thought alone has you almost joining her.

“Oh, this is just perfect,” Hana laughs.

“Where’s my phone? I need a picture,” Hajun says and pats her body in search of the device.

“A picture of what?” a new voice questions. Joshua walks from behind them. Great.

“That,” Hajun replies with a laugh. You quickly glance down, letting your hair fall into your face so he can’t see you. You don’t need more people who know you see your current situation.

“Leave them alone, guys,” Joshua says. You start to panic when you hear footsteps. Though, the person doesn’t get far.

“You’re right, we should just go,” Hajun answers. “Come on.”

There's a shuffling of feet before footsteps occur again, but away from you this time. You sigh internally and turn back to Dae.

“You okay?” you question.

“I-I thwink you’re right. ‘hat was-h the las’bar,” Dae groans, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Let’s get home,” you instruct and grab her hands slowly. You don’t want her to throw up again from moving too fast.

“Where did they go?” another voice asks from afar.

“They said they would wait outside the door.”

Your body tenses at the voice. You are imagining it. Your brain is just choosing the worst time to think of him. It’s all in your head.

“Over here!” Hana calls out.

You steadily stand up with Dae, her arms gripping yours tightly.

“Easy,” you speak calmly. Your gaze drops to your discarded shoes on the floor. You want to pick them up, but you’re afraid of letting go of Dae. Sighing, you decide to leave them.

“’m shorry,” she mumbles as you take a step forward. You want to find a bench you can both rest on as you wait for a ride.

“Ah, they’re over there, let’s go,” the first voice says.

“Just wait a minute. They look like they need help.”

No. No, you don’t need help.

“Where are you going? They’re fine!” Hajun calls out. You turn Dae around and start the other way.

The feet are jogging toward you now. You have no other choice but to prepare to see the last person on your desired visiting list. There’s no way you can transport yourself and Dae away before he reaches you.

“Hey, do you need a han—C-Cherry?” Seungcheol stutters when he comes next to you. You slow in your steps, reluctantly looking up to see him.

“No. We’re fine,” you reply sternly. Despite your answer, Seungcheol puts an arm around Dae to offer more support. You stand your ground and don’t let her go.

“Who-sh ‘erry?” Dae wonders.

“No one,” you tell her and then look at him, “Seungcheol, let her go. I’ve got her.”

“What’s going on?” Joshua’s face suddenly pops up behind Seungcheol. Seungcheol stops walking, and unless you want to play tug-o-war with Dae, you have to stop too.

“Yn?” he asks, shocked. Then his gaze goes behind him. He makes a disappointing noise. “No wonder they wanted us to leave so fast.”

“What are you talking about, Shua?” Seungcheol questions. He still hasn’t let go of Dae.

“Ha—” Joshua starts but stops when Hajun’s voice sounds.

“Oh my, is that Yn? Oh no!”

Hajun appears in front of you. Your first instinct is to punch her; that’s evident in the way your hand fists in a ball at your side.

“Are you okay? Do you need a ride?” she looks at you with a worried expression. Your mouth drops slightly at her unexpected reaction. A few minutes ago she was a devil, but now she is an angel? Since when does she pretend to be nice?

“’uck off,” Dae mumbles. You let out a silent laugh and glance at her. She looks exhausted and dizzy, yet her eyes are on Hajun.

“M-me? But I’m just trying to help.”

“Oh, really? How does taking a picture of us help?” you wonder.

“What picture?” Seungcheol questions.

“I don’t know what she’s talking about,” Hajun answers, looking at him innocently. Your gaze moves to Seungcheol briefly. Did he say something to her, or is she trying a different tactic to get his sympathy?

“Yes, you do,” Joshua says.

“Shua! No, I don’t,” she whines and gives him a sad expression.

You do not have time for her games.

“Can you all just go away? I’m trying to get Dae home,” you sigh.

“Hm, ‘hat’ould be nice,” Dae mumbles.

“You’re right. We’re sorry to be bothering you. Come on, boys. We have another place to be,” Hajun concurs, gesturing to the rest of the group who lingers a few feet away.

“You guys can go without me. I’ll help them get home,” Seungcheol says. You whip your gaze to him, eyes narrowing in hopes it’ll make him leave. Though, your threatening glare has no effect on him.

“I’ll help, too,” Joshua adds.

“W-what? But we need you guys. They’ll be fine,” Hajun pleads.

Seungcheol chuckles dryly. “I doubt you need us to watch a movie.”

“For fuck’s sake, all of you leave now!” you growl, a headache sprouting. Your clothes are damp, your feet are aching, and your patience is gone.

“I’m not leaving,” Seungcheol says.

“Yes, you are. Go away!” you snap and shove at his arm that is on Dae.

“Don’t talk to him like that,” Hajun hisses and pushes you as if to get you back for shoving Seungcheol.

Oh, you are so over this girl.

Knowing Seungcheol is still holding Dae, you slip away from her and take a step toward Hajun. You reach out quickly when she tries to move away.

“Let go, psycho!” Hajun cries, innocent voice gone and back to how it normally is. You grip her arm tighter when she tugs on it.

“Remember what I said? Beaten and bruised in the hospital, bitch,” you snarl, fully preparing to swing a fist at her disgusting face.

Someone suddenly pulls you away, forcing your hand to let go of her.

“You’re such a fucking freak,” Hajun growls.

With all your might, you push away from whoever is holding you. You only have one thought in mind as you accost her again. Needing to act fast, you don’t hesitate to reel your hand back before connecting your palm roughly against her cheek.

Hajun shrieks loudly and places a hand on her face in surprise.

“Yn!” you hear Seungcheol scold but ignore him.

Hajun lunges toward you, but before she can do anything, you’re grabbed and twirled around to face the opposite direction. You stumble forward in their grasp when Hajun bumps into you both, unable to stop her momentum. You figure Seungcheol is the one who stops you, but when you raise your eyes, you see him still holding Dae, who is quickly falling asleep. Your head snaps up to see Joshua behind you.

“If you don’t let go of me, I will claw your eyes out,” you warn him. Joshua’s eyes widen at you before peering at Seungcheol.

“This is what turns you on?” he asks Seungcheol.

“What?” you and Hajun say in unison. Seungcheol glares at Joshua but says nothing of it. If you weren’t so occupied with the situation at hand, you may have let that sink in more.

“Don’t tell me you like her!” Hajun scoffs.

Seungcheol’s jaw clenches as he averts his gaze from Joshua to Hajun. “Go with the others.”

“Are you serious, Cheollie? You can do better than that. She’ll just make your life miserable,” Hajun exasperates.

You glance up at Joshua, battling your eyelashes at him. You change your tone to sound sweeter. “If I say pretty please, will you let me go? I promise to leave one eye in.”

“Charming,” he answers with a small laugh and then flickers his gaze back to Seungcheol. “I see the appeal now.”

“Shua!” Hajun screeches, betrayal in her voice. You send her a smirk and shrug. She looks like she is ready to lunge at you, but Joshua still stands between you two.

“Joshua, can you give me your keys?” Seungcheol asks. Joshua digs out his keys from his pocket with one hand, keeping the other around you in case you decide to escape. He tosses them toward Seungcheol and he catches them with ease. Seungcheol doesn’t say anything else as he picks up Dae in his arms, then walks down the sidewalk.

“Cheol!” Hajun calls out. He pauses to peer back.

“Go with the others, Hajun. I’m not going back,” he replies before continuing his walk. You stare at his back, a little dumbstruck that he’s actually helping you rather than leaving you for his friends.

Joshua releases his hold and begins to follow Seungcheol. He stops when you don't move.

“I’m not dumb enough to leave you together. Let’s go, Yn,” he says and grabs your wrist.

You open your mouth to get the last word, but the look of utter betrayal on Hajun’s face is satisfying enough. Thus, you let Joshua pull you away from her.

When you arrive at Joshua’s car, Seungcheol closes the door after putting Dae inside. She’s passed out now. You place a hand on the handle, ready to climb inside, but Seungcheol stops you.

“Now’s not the time to be chivalrous, Cheollie,” you say, voice a little mocking at the nickname Hajun uses for him.

“You’re not going with him,” he answers firmly.

Seungcheol puts his focus on Joshua and says, “Text me when you get home safely. Thanks for taking care of her.”

“It’s no problem. See you guys!” he replies and gets in the driver’s seat.

“He’s taking Dae to her home? I should go, so I can take care of her,” you explain and take a step toward the car. Seungcheol grabs your upper arm and pulls you away.

“No, he’s taking her to his. She’ll wake up confused, but she’ll be safe. Now, let’s go,” he answers. He lets go of you and walks in the other direction.

“Go where?” you huff, watching Joshua drive off for a few seconds before jogging to catch up. He doesn’t reply. You roll your eyes and keep following him.

A sudden pain in your foot has you gasping, wrapping a hand around it, and looking down to see what you stepped on.

“Stupid rock,” you mumble while glancing down at the damned stone.

“Where are your shoes?” Seungcheol asks, stopping a little ways ahead. You would have thought he’d noticed earlier, but you guess he was more focused on other stuff.

“Ruined,” you shrug and gently put your foot down. You start walking again, limping as you go. It isn’t bleeding, but the area is a little sensitive.

Seungcheol takes a few big steps toward you.

“Didn’t I tell you not to walk barefoot?” he questions before picking you up without warning. Usually, you would whine, but your feet are aching from the rugged terrain so you let him carry you.

“Hm, did you? I guess I didn’t hear,” you answer, snaking an arm around his shoulders.

Seungcheol doesn’t reply, his focus in front of him. Like before, he rests you on his shoes while he opens the door.

“I don’t want to ruin your car,” you say, gesturing to the throw up on your clothes. You’re sure you’ve already ruined his clothes, but you’re nervous about being trapped in a small area with him now.

“I don’t care. Get in,” he replies. You hesitate long enough for Seungcheol to gently nudge you.

“Alright, alright,” you murmur and climb in. Despite your worry about dirtying his expensive car, you can’t stop your body from sinking into his comfortable seats. You’re tired mentally and physically, so it feels nice to finally sit down.

You expect Seungcheol to lecture you about anything and everything, but instead, he remains silent as he drives off. The tense quietness has you shifting in your seat. You look at Seungcheol, noticing the way he is tightening and untightening his grip on the wheel. Due to his short-sleeved shirt, you can see the way his muscles are flexing at the action.

Your gaze trails down his forearms, stopping when you spot the two bracelets you and Seoah made him. Your lips start to curl into a smile at seeing them. Although you had secretly hoped he’d wear them, you weren’t sure if he would. You feel a small sense of pride fill your chest before you remember the predicament you are in.

The grin quickly drops as your eyes go back to his face—jaw clenched and eyes firmly on the road ahead.

“You can’t be mad at me,” you say to break the silence. “She had that coming. You should be rather proud, actually. I’ve been wanting to do that for a long ti—”

“What were you doing out there?” he asks. You stop, eyebrows knitting together at his strange topic change.

“W-what? We were just drinking. Well, Dae was. I was just there to be a good friend,” you answer.

“Where was your ride?”

“I was about to call one,” you say.

His lips dip lower than they already are. “You shouldn’t use those services. They’re dangerous.”

“Oh, right. I’ll call my private chauffeur next time,” you reply sarcastically.

“You can call me,” he says as if it’s the obvious thing to do.

You laugh. “You’re the last person I would call.”

“Why is that?” he questions and looks at you finally. The red light shines an eerily glow on his face.

You shrug and peer away, not wanting to see him so…. disappointed? Mad? Dejected?

“You’re not my friend.”

“I’m not your friend?” he repeats with a scoff. At the green light, he drives again.

You stay silent this time.

“So, I invite you to dinner—twice—”

“Actually, the first wasn’t really a dinner,” you say.

Seungcheol takes a deep breath, and you can tell he’s trying not to get any more frustrated. You bite the inside of your cheek and fiddle with your clothes. He waits to see if you will say anything else before continuing.

“I drive you places. I pay for your food, I let you stay at my place. All because I’m what? A stranger to you?”

“I—Well,” you mumble. You don’t have anything to say to that because it’s true. He did all those things. It’s unlikely a stranger would do that. Maybe some of them once, but not multiple times like he has.

“Hey, wait, this isn’t the way to my house,” you observe outside. The area isn’t familiar to you.

“Hm,” he hums.

“You’re not about to murder me and chop up my body in little bits, right?” you ask, worried.

“No,” he answers. “That’ll take too long. I’d just—”

“Cheol!” you interrupt, not wanting to hear him actually say those words.

“Kidding,” he says.

He takes a long inhale, releasing it after a few seconds. You stay silent for the rest of the car ride. There is a strange part of you that wants him to rest his hand on you like he usually does, but that isn’t appropriate right now. Not to mention, most friends don’t do that.

You recognize the neighborhood as you near his apartment. It’s clear he had set his mind on coming here, so there isn’t a point in demanding he takes you home.

Seungcheol leads you directly to his bedroom with his hand in yours. He drops it once he stands in front of his closet. Watching him silently, he shuffles through his clothes before plucking off an item from its hanger. He quickly moves to his dresser and grabs two more pieces. He brings them to his bathroom, setting them on the counter. You follow him slowly. You hate how quiet he was. It’s unnerving.

“Shower and meet me in the living room,” he instructs. When your mouth opens, he quickly adds, “No arguing.”

“I-I was just going to say okay,” you explain. If it wasn’t for the stench of Dae’s vomit, maybe you would have argued. Though right now, you’re just eager to get out of your clothes.

“Good,” he replies. He leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.

The feel of hot water running down your sore body has you sighing out. Even his water pressure is perfect against your body. You could’ve stayed in there for hours, but you don’t want his water bill to soar, and you don’t want to turn into a wrinkly rat. With both these in mind, you finish hastily.

The clothes he has picked out are a hoodie, boxers, and shorts. You disregard the part of your mind that’s silently freaking out about wearing his clothes.

They are clothes. Just clothes.

It’s not a big deal.

Granted, most things are never a big deal, but you always make them out to be.

You dry your hair as much as you can before silently walking out of his room, seeing him dressed in shorts and a long-sleeved sweater. He must have changed while you were showering. He glances up when he hears the floors creak, eyes dropping down to your exposed skin.

“Are you cold? Should I get you pants?” he asks and starts to stand up. You put out a hand.

“It’s okay,” you say and sit down a good ways away from him. You tuck your legs under you, leaning sideways into his couch so you can look at him.

“You could’ve taken me home,” you say quietly.

“My place was closer,” he says as if that really makes a difference. You hum and cast your eyes on your lap.

“You can go back to your friends if you want. I’m fine now.”

Seungcheol exhales a breath. “What happened before I showed up?”

You play with the hem of the hoodie as you speak.

“Dae got drunk. She fell and took me down with her. Your friends showed up, and said some insulting stuff, as always. Dae threw up. Then you came.” Your answer is short and concise. There’s no reason to go into extreme details. He knows how his friends speak about you. At least how they did speak about you.

His eyes flicker over your body, stopping on your knees with a frown. There are small scratches from when you fell, but they don’t hurt much. They just feel like tiny paper cuts.

“Oh, Shua said he arrived at their place safely. Dae’s sleeping in his room right now,” Seungcheol informs. You nod.

“I’ll have to tell him thanks later,” you reply.

There is silence for a moment.

“Why did you hit Hajun?” Seungcheol asks. He watches you attentively, eyes roaming your face.

You try to stop the scoff from escaping, but you fail. “I think the question you should be asking instead is, ‘Why did you wait so long to do it?’”

Seungcheol purses his lips as he stares at you unamused. You sigh. You aren’t expecting him to bellow a laugh, but you at least hoped for… something less scolding.

“As I said, she wasn’t saying nice things, and she put her hands on me. I was tired of her bullshit. Are you mad at me because of it?” you ask. Even though you expect him to say yes, you hope he says no. You don’t want him to be mad at you. Especially when you feel you are in the right.

Seungcheol runs a hand through his hair, gaze tearing from yours momentarily. You eye the way his hair falls back into place easily. It’s almost mesmerizing to watch.

“I don’t know,” he finally answers.

“I see,” you say and readjust yourself on the couch. You let your legs dangle off the furniture while your back rests against the cushions. It hurts to see he still isn’t completely on your side. Even though you’re the one he left with, you can tell she is still in his mind. Your heart twists painfully at that.

“You should know if I were given the option, I would still do it again,” you further explain. No reason to make yourself seem like someone you’re not. You can call out how fake she was when she acted concerned, but what’s the point? Tear her down to boost you up? He probably already thinks badly of you. Maybe it’s better if he hates you. Easier, even.

You’re not sure what else to say, and he seems to be lost in his own thoughts. You carefully rise to your feet.

“I’ll take the guest bedroom,” you announce. You take four steps before Seungcheol speaks.

“I’m not mad at you.”

You turn to look at him and then answer, “It’s okay if you are. I hit your friend. It’s understandable to be upset with me.”

“I should be,” he starts, “but I’m not.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I know how she treats you.”

Ah, so he is aware.

“That’s nice,” you mumble, unable to hide the sass in your reply.

“I don’t like it.”

You shift your weight. You feel like what he said is a joke.

“Really? Because you seem to have no problem with it.”

“That’s not true,” he argues.

“It’s not? But you always let it happen.”

“I don’t. I can’t control what they say every time. I’m sorry they do that to you, but—”

“You’re not sorry. No, you can’t control their voices, but you can control who you befriend,” you reply.

“I can’t just drop them as friends,” he sighs.

“Why not? You really want to hang out with people who talk nothing but crap about me?” You don’t understand him. Some sentences make it seem like he’s on your side, and some seem like he isn’t. Does he really care about you?

“I’ve known them for a long time. We’re in group projects together. I see them too much to just cut off ties,” he reasons.

You nod. You get it. There is more to lose if he leaves them. Why is he even talking to you in the first place? He isn’t helping with your project and you don’t have history, so there’s no purpose to be around you.

“Then stop talking to me,” you suggest.

“What?” Seungcheol asks, taken aback.

“I can’t be around you when you’re friends with them. They’ve always got shit to say. You befriend people with similar attitudes,” you say, recalling what Hajun and Hana had said earlier. You don’t like them, but they were right about one thing.

“What makes you think I see you any different than them” you add. “Hell, you could be talking shit about me too. Do you all laugh about me in those little study rooms?”

“You really think I would do that to you?” he questions. His lips are set in a frown; he sounds hurt. Seungcheol leans forward to rest his elbows on his bent knees.

“I don’t know. You don’t really stick up for me when they do,” you say.

He sighs loudly, head in his hands, as he takes a few breaths. He’s in the same mental position as when he was in the café—torn between two different groups of friends.

You don’t want him out of your life, despite thinking differently when you first met him, but you don’t know if you can tolerate his friends much longer.

Your words are spoken softly, yet sternly. “When I leave in the morning, I don’t want you contacting me anymore.”

The sentence is similar to what you told him in the café, but this time, you will make sure that truly happens.

Seungcheol’s head pops up as you are turning around. You anticipate for him to call out or to rush to stop you, but none of those things happen. You make it to the spare bedroom and shut the door without Seungcheol’s interference. You hate that is the case. Though maybe it means it’ll be easy to go the next day.

There is a movement to your left, and you jump back in surprise. You turn only to see your reflection in a mirror. Goodness, you are so out of it. Your eyes linger on yourself. Your hair is slightly damp from the shower. Your makeup is mostly gone, but you can still spot a few smudges on your skin you couldn’t get off earlier. You look so different than what you are used to, but that is probably due to the change of attire.

You can’t remember the last time you wore a hoodie—a proper one. Not some fancy one that was more for style than actual comfort. His hoodie is soft inside and smells like a mixture of his detergent and cologne. It’s an interesting combination, but it makes you smile nonetheless. One which you force down when you catch sight of it in the mirror.

Seeing yourself look so ordinary in his home has those unwanting, imaginary thoughts creep in once again. They are dangerous. You know that, but oh, are they so easy to get lost in.

The vision calls this place home, where you can steal as many of Seungcheol’s clothes as you want. He would get onto you each time, but you know he’d secretly like seeing you in them. They would not only be different from your habitual style, but they would also be his.

His clothes on his girl.

Something that only he would see because while you’d enjoy wearing his clothes, you still would refuse to be seen in such casual wear beyond his humble abode.

Your heart yearns for that life.

Though as you turn off the light and climb into the bed, you let that fantasy get eaten by reality.

You’re not sure how long you’re asleep, but you stir when you feel the bed dip with an unknown weight. It moves closer, and you shiver when you feel something cold rest on your bare waist where the hoodie has risen. Then it holds you firmly while something shuffles in the bed closer. You register the weight to be a person’s, and you imagine it is Seungcheol.

The person presses you against their body, tucking your head into their chest as they rest their head on top of yours gently. The hand on your waist trails up your bare back. It rubs your skin softly, making your body sink further into the mattress. You keep your eyes closed, not wanting to wake from this dream your mind has created. If you aren’t able to have Seungcheol in the real world, at least you can have him here.

You don’t realize the tears rolling down your cheeks at first, but then you feel something tenderly swipe against your cheek. At first, you think it’s your own hand, but you don’t recall moving it.

In your dream, Seungcheol coos at you quietly. His hand is still sweeping across your back.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he says, voice so soft that it feels like it’s a few feet away. You inch closer to hear it better.

“You want me to leave you,” he continues.

Goodness, why does he sound so far from you?

Your hands rise to the chest in front of you, hands fisting the person’s shirt. You’re afraid they’ll leave you.

“But haven’t you realized I can’t do that? You were confused when I told you I wouldn’t leave you even if I could,” Seungcheol pauses to take a breath, almost as if he’s pondering on if he’s ready to disclose this information.

“I can’t leave you because I… I like you. More than just an acquaintance, or a friend.”

You clutch the shirt harder, pressing your head deeper into his body. You want to hear this outside your dream so badly.

You squeeze your eyes shut harder.

You wish you could see his face staring at you with his warm eyes. To see his pretty lips stretch into a smile as he tells you everything you want to hear. Things you’re too afraid to ponder because it would make them more real.

“Shh, don’t cry,” he whispers and presses a kiss on the top of your head.

The feelings whirling in your chest are too much to bear. The dream has dug deep in your mind to pull out these pushed-down thoughts. Your mind has outdone itself with its imagination. You need to wake up before you fall harder for the man in your dreams. You ease your grasp on his shirt as if readying yourself to be pulled to reality.

Then reluctantly, your eyes open.

You fully anticipate seeing tear-stained sheets and darkness in front of you, but you just see the scenario your dream mustered. You blink several times to rid the memory. However, nothing works.

Your mouth opens in shock. Your heart was racing already, but now it’s beating so fast you think it’ll burst from your chest.

Seungcheol lies beside you, watching you closely.

“C-Cheol?” you whimper, mind foggy with what’s real and what’s your imagination. “You’re r-real?”

Your body is in fight or flight mode. The moment had felt so vulnerable; it was as though he had invaded your mind. As if he knew your deepest thoughts, and that terrifies you.

He stares down at you, face only half illuminated from the moonlight that creeps in through his blinds. “I’m real, Cherry. I’m right here.”

You both stare at each other. You can’t hear his heart palpitate over the sound of yours, but you can feel the quick rise and fall of his chest against your palms, which are still pressed against his body.

Your eyes flicker down. In the dim light, you can make out two small wet circles on his clothes, indicating that he was really there to hear you cry. The dream was not a dream. You feel embarrassed at having cried in front of him.

Then it all comes flooding back clearly. His words. His caressing. His tender tone. You wanted nothing more than to hear him say he wanted you. Because no matter how hard you tried to burn those thoughts from your mind, they always flickered back to life.

You don’t know when it happened.

You’re staring at him with puffy eyes one second and then have his mouth pressing against yours the next.

There is no gentle brushing of the lips this time. You’ve had enough of being interrupted. You need to feel him against you. You need his touch in the ways you’ve dreamt of before. From the way Seungcheol grips you tightly and kisses you fervently, you have a feeling he thinks the same.

The taste of his lips has you dizzy. When he glides his tongue against your lip, you unhesitantly grant him access. Despite the quick start of the kiss, he slows his movements when his tongue meets yours.

Your hands reach up to run through his locks while Seungcheol flips on his back, pulling you on top of him. His hair feels soft as it glides between your fingers, and when you run out of hair to grab, you tug on the ends.

Seungcheol moans into the kiss, hands moving to your ass and squeezing. It has your hips pressing against his body, and you whine when your clothed clit brushes him.

You pull away with a gasp. Your hands go to rest on either side of his head. Some of your hair falls into your face, and Seungcheol is quick to tuck the strands behind your ears. You don’t need to hear him say he wants to see your face. That’s evident in the way his eyes never leave yours. You take in his swollen lips and tousled hair—all because of you.

That’s all you think of as you dive back down again, tongue finding his easily and gliding together smoothly. He’s finally yours, at least for now.

Seungcheol keeps one hand on your ass while the other trails up your body. It slides under the hoodie and grips one of your bare breasts.

You mewl at the touch, arching your back into his large hand. He massages the flesh gently for a second before he moves the hand on your ass to do the same to your other breast. Your body is warming rapidly. Your heart never calms with each new feel of him.

When you pull away to catch your breath the second time, you sit up and pull the hoodie from your body. Seungcheol rests his hands on your lower back. He watches silently in awe, feeling your back arch as your naked body is exposed to him.

“So fucking pretty,” he murmurs, quickly propping his body up with one hand to get closer. The other reaches up to the back of your neck to pull you down to him. You hum against his lips as you straddle him, hands playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. Your arousal is pooling in your panties, and you need to do something to relieve some of your need.

Seungcheol groans, hands immediately going to your hips when you start grinding against his crotch. You hold onto him tightly, using him as leverage as you rub your clit against him. He pulls away from the heated kiss to remove his shirt. As he tosses the material somewhere in the room, your hands quickly press against his taunt torso. The force at which you do so has him falling back onto the mattress unexpectedly, his hair fanning around his head. He laughs, eyes turning into half-moons and dimples coming out to greet you—making your body warm for another reason.

“S-sorry,” you giggle, hands still on his chest as you lean over him.

You can’t see him clearly, but the weak light cast causes a portion of his muscles to be outlined. Although you’ve gotten some hints about his build when he wore specific clothes, they don’t do justice to how fit he is.

“Are you going to give me another compliment, baby?” Seungcheol teases when you continue to stare; his voice is lower than before. It isn’t as deep as when he first wakes up, but the sound still goes straight to your core.

You squeeze your legs around his body, and he smiles at your reaction, grabbing your wrists. He guides your hands down his torso, forcing you to sit up gradually. You hold your breath as your gaze follows your hands south. You feel his toned body under your hands. Even though he doesn’t have a slender body, he is buff and muscular, and you find that much sexier.

“I don’t need your ego any bigger than it already is,” you protest.

Seungcheol stops guiding your hands when you reach the waistband of his shorts. He lets go of your wrists and moves his hands to rest on the top of your thighs.

“But I gave you one earlier,” he pouts. Full on pouting like he is a toddler who is getting denied candy. You curse him silently for looking so cute when he does that.

You huff with false irritation, folding quickly. “Fine. You look handsome.”

Instead of smiling, he keeps the same expression. He doesn’t say anything, and you roll your eyes at what he wants.

“And hot,” you continue. This gets his pout to ease slightly. He’s annoying, so you play with the strings of his shorts. It has his face contorting in surprise. Though once he realizes you’re just trying to get out of giving him more compliments, he pouts again. What a big baby… A big baby who you can’t help but fall for more despite his needy childish behavior at the moment.

“And sexy,” you murmur, curling your fingers over the top of his shorts and underwear.

Slowly, you begin to slide both pieces of clothing down. “And alluring.”

“Alluring?” Seungcheol asks quietly, trying to keep his gaze on your face, but it keeps going back to your hands. “T-that’s new.”

You hum, biting the inside of your cheek when your eyes catch sight of his hard length. The wetness between your legs grows while you slide his clothes off.

“N-nothing about my personality?” he teases softly. Once the material is on the floor, you look at his face. He looks like he’s trying to keep his thoughts coherent.

You smile sweetly at him, a hand trailing up his thick thigh. “How could I forget, hm? You’re beyond obnoxious.”

Before he can reply, your thumb is spreading his pre cum across his tip. Your hand then wraps around the base of his dick. Seungcheol curses under his breath as his eyes widen slightly.

“You’re so annoying,” he gruffs.

“One of my many talents,” you reply teasingly and then lean down.

You kiss his tip gently, eyes flickering up to see his face. His jaw clenches when your tongue licks from the base to his tip gradually. You repeat this action, forcing the smile from your lips with each sharp inhale Seungcheol takes.

His head pushes back on the pillow when you take him in your mouth, lowering yourself until his tip barely touches the back of your throat. Each bob of your head has his cock hardening more. He’s thick, and from the way your mouth stretches around his shaft and from how your hand can’t close all the way, you can’t stop the aching between your legs.

“Shit, Yn,” he breathes out, hand coming up to press down on your head. A louder moan sounds from him when his tip hits the back of your throat for a second. You gag at the sensation and pull away, pumping his length as you take a short breather.

“You’re doing so well, baby,” he praises, voice gentle and caring. His hand reaches down to swipe at the spit covering the corner of your lips. “You think you can do that one more time?”

Nodding, you lower yourself again. You start moving your head up and down on his cock, but eventually, Seungcheol starts thrusting his hips up shallowly. You hollow your cheeks and hum around him, earning you a moan from above at the vibration.

This time when he hits the back of your throat, you stay still. The hand at the base of his dick moves, and you hold his hips instead. Seungcheol draws out another curse when his dick goes farther down your throat. Your nose brushes his pelvis, but he pulls you off before you go all the way down.

Both of you are breathing heavily. Seungcheol’s eyes watch as a string of saliva connects you to his cock. His hand comes up again, breaking the connection as he smears the spit across your cheek. It feels utterly dirty what he does, but your thighs press together at the action.

“Come ‘ere,” he murmurs and guides your body up to his.

He kisses you passionately and holds you close as he slowly flips you over. His lips are still on yours when your back rests on the mattress. The kiss lasts a few more seconds before he breaks it off to trail kisses down your neck. Your eyes close as you angle your chin to give him better access.

While Seungcheol kisses your neck, his hands roam your body. Eventually, one of his hands finds your clit, and you jolt when he starts rubbing circles. Seungcheol nips and licks at your skin, causing you to moan out when he bites a little harder. His hand trails from your bud to your core. He groans quietly against your skin while feeling your damp panties. He rubs you through the material, which has you squirming under his touch. You need to feel him directly—not over your stupid underwear.

“Cheol, take them off,” you whine and move his hands to the top of the material. He adheres to your demand and swiftly pulls the boxers off.

Seungcheol’s mouth opens slightly at the sight of your drenched folds. The coldness of the room has you shivering. Before you can say something, he lowers his head while grabbing your ass and lifting your hips. Once you are close enough, he licks up your slickened lips.

A gasp leaves your mouth at the feeling of his warm tongue against you. He laps at your juices a few times before flicking his tongue against your clit. Your eyes are stuck on him between your legs, completely enraptured at the sight. Quiet gasps leave your mouth as he sucks your bud. He hums happily at your sounds, and then he trails his tongue up your slit, the tip of his tongue prodding your entrance for a second, earning a cry when he simply goes past it.

Seungcheol climbs over you before he can touch your clit. He finds your mouth quickly, forcing his tongue inside. He’s gathered some of your arousal in his mouth, and from his quick actions, he accidentally gets some on the outside of your mouth. However, the grin against your lips tells you it probably wasn’t an accident. You are beginning to realize Seungcheol likes it messy.

One of his hand's toys with your clit again. The sensation doesn’t last long because he moves south. He slides his fingers between your folds a few times, coating them with your wetness, before slipping one inside. There’s no friction since you’re dripping with how aroused you are. You moan into the kiss, and Seungcheol’s smile grows.

He pumps his finger several times and then pushes in another. The slight stretch has you reaching up to grip his sides. He breaks the kiss, eyes staring down into yours as he continues sliding his fingers in and out.

You whimper when he inserts a third, your nails digging into his sides while holding eye contact.

“You’re going to feel so good around me,” Seungcheol thinks out loud.

You moan at his words, thinking back to how big he is. The stretch you’re feeling is only an introduction to what’s to come.

Seungcheol leans back so he can get a better view of your pussy. He aligns his fingers horizontally as he pulls out slowly, causing you to stretch more around his digits. As soon as he slips out, he spreads your folds to see your entrance. Seungcheol gathers some of his spit in his mouth before letting it drop onto your cunt. Then without warning, he rubs your pussy—starting slow but soon speeding up.

“Ah, s-shit,” you cry, hands fisting in the sheets. Your legs move to close, but he presses his other hand down on one to keep you spread.

“You’re making such a mess, baby,” he coos. You can feel a few drops of your arousal mixed with his spit land on the inside of your thighs from his bruising touch.

Just when you are about to plead for him to stop, he pulls away. His eyes are glued to your dripping cunt.

You’ve never felt as needy as you do now. Your eyes fall to his cock, erect and ready to be used. You swallow harshly and reach out greedily. Seungcheol takes your hand, kissing the back of it softly. His eyes are blown out, his hair tangled, and his chest heaving slightly.

He climbs from the bed, and when he gestures for you to come closer, you obey quickly. Seungcheol picks you up, making your legs wrap around his waist as he walks to his bedroom.

You lean down to kiss his neck, but that doesn’t last long, and you feel yourself falling back onto his mattress.

While the rest of the lights in the apartment are off, his side table’s lights are on. You take the opportunity to eye his figure again. His broad chest and muscular thighs have you squeezing around nothing. There’s a part of you that just wants to caress his body all night long; however, the ache between your legs tells you to do that another time.

“Don’t cry,” he says softly when you whine as he moves away from you. “Just gonna’ grab a condom.”

You nod, less sad at knowing what he’s doing. You move farther up his bed as he gets the packet. After securing the condom, he climbs over you.

He presses his lips against yours again, hands trailing all over your body. You let your hands do the same against his skin. It feels so nice to just feel him like you want. Each passing second has you eager for him. You put your hands on his hips and push them toward yours.

“Please, Cheol,” you beg quietly against his mouth.

“I’m really a good influence on you, hm, Cherry?” he playfully replies, lowering his hips until you feel his cock brush your pelvis. You press your body up and move your hips so your clit rubs against his length.

“B-be quiet,” you huff.

“I don’t think you want that,” he says. He grips his cock and rubs it along your folds to coat it in your arousal.

Your arms wrap around his neck, hips bucking.

“Do you want me?” he asks. His eyes bore into yours, the tip of his cock at your entrance.

You nod. “Yes.”

“And what do we say when we want something?” he questions. You roll your hips greedily, but he moves his dick to keep you unsatisfied.

You whine and lean your head back. “Stop playing games, Cheol.”

“That doesn’t sound right,” he tuts calmly.

You know he isn’t going to do anything unless you say what he wants. Whining again because you’re really annoyed with him, you pout. “Please.”

“Hm, close. What do pretty girls like you say when you want something?” he rephrases.

This arrogant man.

“Pretty please,” you concede.

Seungcheol smiles wickedly above you. He presses the tip against your entrance again but doesn’t fully push in. He gives just enough pressure to make you feel a slight stretch.

“That’s exactly correct,” he murmurs and finally slides inside slowly. “My pretty girl.”

A moan erupts in your throat at the feeling of his cock. You don’t know when you closed your eyes, but they open quickly when you realize you can’t see Seungcheol.

His brows are slightly touching, mouth open in concentration.

“T-tell me if you want me to stop at any time,” he instructs as he suppresses a groan.

“Okay,” you mutter. “Keep going. Please,” you beg when he pauses.

He nods and lowers his hips more, pushing more of himself between your walls. A curse falls from your lips when he goes deeper. He continues gradually until he is flushed against you.

Seungcheol rests his forehead on yours as he lets you adjust to his size. You feel so full.

“You doing okay?” he wonders.

You giggle, hand moving to rest on his cheek. “Yes. You feel so good.”

He tilts his chin so he can press a quick kiss to your parted lips.

“A compliment and I didn’t even have to ask,” he gloats and continues before you can reply, “Do you want to keep going?” he asks softly.

“Y-yeah,” you stutter, the need for him to keep going overpowering the need to sass him.

Seungcheol smiles down at you for a second before dragging his hips back, then forward again. He repeats those actions, each time getting a little harder. It has your body jolting up the mattress, but you don’t care. You just need him to continue.

“Doing so well, baby,” he whispers.

“You can go f-faster,” you say. Your hands trail down his torso until they rest on his sides.

“You sure?”

You nod, leaning up to press a reassuring kiss to his mouth. Seungcheol’s eyes are staring down at your chest but quickly snap up at the feel of your lips. He chases your lips after you pull away, slotting his mouth on yours once more. He slips his tongue in your mouth, and you welcome him happily.

Suddenly, Seungcheol’s thrusts speed up.

You pull away from the kiss with a small cry, hands gripping his sides tightly.

“Fuck,” you rasp.

Seungcheol sits up, moving one of your legs to rest against his front while the other lays upon his thigh. He places his hands on your thighs and then snaps his hips into yours rapidly. His eyes are locked onto where he slides into you, watching the way your pussy stretches for his cock.

Your hands move up to rub your breasts, back arching off the mattress when you twist your nipples between your fingers. Your eyes are half open with your lips parted. The feel of his thick cock dragging against your walls, combined with the pinch of your nipples, has you moaning nonstop.

“Shit, baby, you look so sexy like that,” Seungcheol growls, eyes watching your hands intensely.

The compliment has you mewling and clenching around his dick.

“You like looking sexy for me, hm?” he asks, subduing his moan.

You mumble a “yes,” hands pushing your breasts together to give him more of a show.

Seungcheol chuckles softly, lips spreading in a big grin, and slows down his hips. He’s breathing heavily, but he doesn’t stop. Your hands move from your breasts to grip the sheets.

“I would love to have you naked in my bed every day so I could admire you,” he continues. The word “admire” has your heart beating a little faster and a smile on your face. Seungcheol’s own lips tilt up in a grin at your reaction. He turns his head, giving your leg a tender kiss.

Seungcheol glides his cock out of your pussy slowly, and then when just the tip remains, he slams back in roughly. Your breath gets caught in your throat at the power of his hips, walls squeezing around him for a moment. He groans at the feeling.

Seungcheol’s eyes trail from your face to your breasts. They move each time he pushes his length back inside, and it has him gripping your thighs harder. Your skin starts to sting under his touch, but the pleasure between your legs outweighs the pain.

As if reading your thoughts, he eases his grip and carefully moves the leg against his chest to the side so you are spread wide for him. He leans over you, gradually lowering himself so his body is fully on yours. There’s enough pressure to feel his skin flushed on yours but not enough to suffocate you. He moves his hips slowly now. They are shallow thrusts, but he still feels heavenly.

“You sound pretty when you sing for me,” he murmurs, head tucking into the crook of your neck.

Your arms readjust so they enclose around his shoulders. You also wrap your legs around his lower back to keep him close, holding him tightly as you get lost in the way he presses you into the mattress with his body. Your heart clutches at how intimate you feel with him. This type of gentleness is so different from what you experience with him. It’s nice. You wish you can feel it again in the future.

Giggling at his compliment, “T-that’s cheesy, babe.”

You feel him grin against your neck.

“It’s the truth. I love hearing you,” he replies against your skin. It tickles, causing you to squirm beneath him, but you don’t move much since you’re pinned under him.

“I’m close, Cheol,” you whisper into his damp hair. He nods to let you know he heard you. He stays against you for a few more seconds, and you hold him gingerly as he continues rutting into you. You store the memory of his loving embrace in your mind for safekeeping.

Seungcheol slowly leans up. He plants a soothing kiss on your lips before adjusting himself for better leverage. His shallow thrusts steadily get deeper, and his pace increases in speed until he is nearly pounding into you. One of his hands moves to rub tight circles against your clit. A string of moans leaves your mouth as he pushes you closer to your release.

Seungcheol moans when your cunt squeezes his cock.

“God, you’re going to be the death of me,” he husks.

Even though you don’t say anything, your body is conveying how close you are. Seungcheol’s quick pace grows a little frantic, a little desperate as a hand still plays with your bud.

His name leaves your lips when you come, legs shaking slightly as your orgasm courses through you. Seungcheol slows his thrusts as he eases you from your high.

“That’s it, baby girl,” he praises quietly as your body starts relaxing on the mattress. Gently, he pulls out and removes the condom.

When your eyes refocus, you see Seungcheol sitting up on his knees, a hand pumping his shaft. Even though tiredness is taking over your body, you move so you are in front of him on your hands and knees. You remove his hand and replace it with yours.

He watches silently, mouth falling open when you wrap your lips around him again. Hollowing your cheeks, you bob your head quickly while your eyes watch him above. He rakes a hand through his slightly wet hair before bringing that hand down on your head. He slides your hair from your face, then begins to move his hips.

The sound of you taking him in your mouth fills the room. Seungcheol whines, pushing your head farther and letting out a moan when he hears you gag. He pulls you off him, and you gasp for air once you can.

“Almost there,” he informs you before lining himself at your lips again. You nod, making Seungcheol smile as he pushes his dick between your lips.

You breathe through your nose as he fucks into your mouth. Tears start forming at the corner of your eyes when he hits the back of your throat continuously. Seeing his blissful expression has a sense of pride blooming in your chest. It feels good knowing you are bringing him so much pleasure.

“Fuck,” he gasps and pulls away suddenly. You cough when you inhale too quickly. Seungcheol’s head leans back as he slides his hand up and down quickly on his cock. He waits until you’re better before he brings his tip to your lips. You open your mouth, ready for him to use your throat again, but instead, he keeps his dick resting against your parted mouth. Understanding his plan, you stick your tongue out. His eyes stare down at yours. He looks so sexy with a sheen of sweat covering his skin. His forehead is exposed, and his face is scrunched in concentration.

Your name leaves his mouth as a curse when he comes. You moan quietly, eyes closing when you feel his cum land on your face and tongue in spurts. Seungcheol is panting above you, and as you open your eyes again, you see he never tore his gaze from your face.

You go to close your mouth when he’s done, but he stops you—hand cupping your jaw and fingers digging slightly into your cheeks to keep your mouth open. The fierce gaze he wears is one of authority, and fuck, does that have you squeezing your legs together more.

Slowly his cum trails down your tongue, dangling from the tip before it falls onto the bed’s cover. The urge to close your mouth is strong. Even though Seungcheol is holding your mouth open, his grip isn’t strong enough to really stop you if you want to close it. However, you want to please him, so you push down the feeling and stare at his face.

His eyes follow his cum gliding off your tongue, biting his lip at the sight. Goodness, he’s just breathing, but he looks so attractive.

You force down the moan you want to make at knowing Seungcheol gets off on being messy. You want him to make a mess out of you more.

“My good girl,” he whispers. He gathers the cum that landed on your face and moves it on your tongue. He releases the grip to let you close your mouth, staying silent as he watches you swallow the substance.

He leans down and gives you a lasting kiss for a reward before climbing off the bed. He leaves to grab a warm washcloth to clean off the residue on your face. The affectionate smile he dons is contagious, and you stare up at him contently as he cleans you carefully. Once he is done and the towel is discarded, he comes back.

“Move up, Cherry,” he instructs gently as he nods to the other end of the bed. You follow his order quietly. In one hard tug, he pulls the cover from the bed. He dumps it in the corner of the room and then grabs another from his closet.

“Now, lay down,” he says. Once you are in position, he flicks his wrists to open the cover in the air, letting it float down onto your body.

You giggle. “You could’ve just unfolded it first.”

“But wasn’t that more fun?” he replies with a grin.

He climbs in next to you after switching off the lights, hands finding your body quickly. He lays on his back, one arm wrapping around your shoulders while the other rests on his chest. You press your body against his side and bring a hand up to his chest, intertwining your hands together. You watch as he shakes your hands together playfully.

“I think I had more fun earlier,” you belatedly reply.

Seungcheol chuckles. “Is that so? Did I fuck you that good, Cherry?”

You squeeze his hand at his words, not sure why his question has you suddenly feeling shy. Maybe it’s because you’re still feeling a little in the clouds, and your normal bratty self hasn't yet reemerged.

“I had fun too,” he adds when you don’t reply. “I would do it again.”

“Yeah?” you wonder, hopeful eyes glancing up at him. It’s definitely something you won’t oppose if the opportunity arises in the future, and you are happy to know he feels the same.

“Yeah,” he echoes.

A grin spreads on his face upon seeing your expression. He leans down, giving you one last kiss as if promising to keep his word. The act has you wanting to kick your feet as you giggle, but you suppress the desire to do that.

Instead, you snuggle against him more as you let your body begin to melt into his. Comfortable silence fills his room, and you can feel sleep consuming you slowly.

“Sleep well, baby,” Seungcheol says quietly and unravels his hand from yours to move your hair from your face. You peer up at him, smiling.

“Goodnight, Cheol.”

previous chapter \\ series masterpost // next chapter

A/N: ... 😳

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