#that joke needs to die

[sixofclovers]

flips the fishbowl like an hourglass

#the sandman #netflix #morpheus #dream of the endless #dream #he has so many names #ignore the joke im just nervous abt this one in case the visuals dont make sense like i think they make sense #hes in the glass bubble all twisted up but its like an hour glass too #mr snadman man me a sand and all that #soc art #i need a tag for paintings specifically #painting #also ill stop using this green yellow grey palette when i die #wait i changed the comment the new ones better

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Danny as Fenton takes a hit that no human boy should survive while in a different city (im going crossover here) and just transforms into phantom and pretends to be all sad that he died. Just for a moment. He then proceeds to kick the baddies ass. Claims he got ghost powers and fucks off. Imagine if Captain America or Batman saw this while failing ti protect him, hell or any hero type. Danny doesn’t think much on it and just goes on with his week. Continues being Fenton of course but what if he runs into whatever hero, but out if costume, saw him do that.

“How are you here? And alive?”

Danny holding a smoothie:”uhhhh I made a miraculous recovery”

He just shrugs it off and goes about his day. It isn’t until he finally gets some sleep later that night that he wakes up in a cold sweat realising he now knows their secret identity. “Oh well it’s neat I guess” starts to go back to sleep only to bolt back up “oh god now they know my secret identity”

Meanwhile said hero is too busy trying to figure out how to help this random kid to even be worried about the fact that they outed themselves. Someone else probably points it out to them and has to explain it twice before it gets thru.

#danny phantom #crossovers #dp x mcu #dpxdc #dp x dc #I like to use batman a lot cause his need to protect these kids probably makes him a little stupid #like imagine him in the batcave looking into fenton now and nightwing comes in starts asking about it #only to have to find out that bruce basically told the kid hes batman #except bruce is tired and worried so he isnt getting it #no B I mean like how does bruce wayne know the kid died. only batman saw it #if you are trying to make some sort of joke it’s not working. now please excuse me I have to figure this out #a sigh and facepalm #B imagine what the kid is gonna think when bruce wayne asks him how he is alive but batman watched him die. #slowly bruce stops typing and leans back from the computer #he freezes #eyes widening #a soft but sharp intake #oh #yea oh B geeze you must be tired if it took this long for you to get ut #bruce with his head in his hands realising he just messed up big time #maybe he should get more sleep after all #as for the mcu I would like to think it was hawkeye or hulk #I like hulk cause it’s also a bruce but I like hawkeye more. guy is very comfort character #clint just kid I saw you die now why don’t you explain that #danny giving him nothing till clints like come on it’s kinda messed up letting me think I let a kid die isnt it. #oh poor me loosing so much sleep watching a young boy become a ghost. I could hardly go on #danny rolls his eyes laying it on a little thick arent we old man #gasp! I will have you know I am only (insert haskeyes age here) #geeze you are waaayyy okder than I thought

[yugiohz]

the sillies

#sorry for cracking a joke I wanted to lighten the mood <- he needs to die #bnha #todoroki touya #dabi #takami keigo #hawks #sketches #finally fucked around and found out which colors I like for hawks world peaceeeee #i always draw him with a huge grin I just know his mouth is sooooo wide #he’s :DDDDDD #au where dabi is hawks Plug and that’s his least fav customer but he pays way too much for his low quality weed so he’ll stay silent

[copperbadge]

For some reason or other, I occasionally appear nonexistent to certain entities -- either because of a slightly unorthodox address, a weird aspect of my name, or an uncertainty surrounding my phone number. Or for no reason I can fathom!

The list currently:

US Post Office: Actually we're cool now. It did not believe I existed until 2022, but saw the light and was converted, and accepts me into its life.

Chicago Public Library: Persistently skeptical I exist, but suspiciously accepts my claim if I can show my voter registration card (they literally would not take my PASSPORT but took my voter registration card as proof of my existence). Due to this suspicion, requires me to make any payments in exact change.

Illinois State Lottery: Has not believed in me for years, but still sends me email ads, like a girlfriend who broke up with me but drunk texts for a hookup without remembering we live in different time zones.

NEW ADDITION:

Tinder: refused to even consider my existence and banned me while I was trying to register. Whatever Illinois State Lottery told you about me was a lie, I swear!

#i don't even want to app date #but every few years i get tired of preparing to die alone #that was a joke guys i'm fine #just needed reminding of how awful dating apps are

[arkos404]

fanart for the personality swap, the lawful joke au, by @chaosaliien

context

scrabby is a prankster but he cant out-menace prism

#lawful joke au #lawful joke #prism #scrabby #prismo the wishmaster #scarab the god auditor #cosmic owl #prismo #scarab #adventure time #fionna and cake #adventure time: fionna & cake #at #fc #atfc #at:f&c #arkos draws #i did this so quickly #i just needed to get it out of my system #or id die

[bastardlybonkers]

like hes literally fine whats your problem

#batman #jason todd #dick grayson #red hood #nightwing #do not tag as ship #i cant make angst without jokes and i cant make jokes without angst #oh does this need a cw? uhhh #cw injury #dont worry he actually is fine ofc these bitches cant die theyre comic book characters

[wegc]

omg. because i can imagine chan catching u reading smut and deciding that he’ll make u read one of ur bookmarks with him to humiliate you a little .. i need him so bad

GODDDD can u imagine chan calling you his dirty little girl because he never would’ve expected that his sweet angel would be into such rough, animalistic sex 😵‍💫 inside he’s SOOO happy because he’s wanted this for a while too, but of course he has to tease you for being so gross and icky!!! chan who playfully pouts as you’re reading the smut aloud, whining about how you’re no longer his innocent baby :(

#we all need him #no joke i would acc die inside #bang chan smut #stray kids smut #skz smut #bang chan x reader #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #answered #anonymous

[colors-of-my-heart]

if Richie was alive and present for the summoning

Tinky: ohohoho boy a Spankoffski, I’m going to have the whole set in my toy box!

Richie: oh fuck get behind me Pete this guy’s got the fucking prison realm

#is this a good joke ive never watched jujutsu kaisen #the extent of my knowledge is coming from a wiki article #because I got an ad for a ring based off the prison realm and my mind immediately went to the bastards box #so I had to know more #and yeah it seems like a pretty similar concept #anyways. I need to stop rambling so much in the notes #musicals #starkid #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #nerdy prudes must die #npmd

[clownjacket]

Okay my ‘why Kipperlily hates Riz’ theory: She handed out business cards first day, he handed out business cards first day, she’s tiny, he’s tiny, they’re both obviously overeager teacher’s pet type A rogues, they’re like male and female versions of each other and it’s obvious to everyone. What would most high schoolers do, in that situation, seeing another kid so similar to your friend on the first day that they somehow BOTH made business cards to hand out at school? AND they’re going to be taking classes together? You say “Omg, he’s literally the boy version of you, you’re SOULMATES, you’d be perfect together!” And what do you do when your type A tight-ass friend acts embarrassed by that? You tease her about it more obviously. You think it’s just good natured ribbing, and she KNOWS it’s just good natured ribbing, but for some reason she gets unreasonably angry any time she sees Riz after that. Maybe even uncomfortable? But she KNOWS she doesn’t have a crush on him, so why does it bother her so much?

#I need another Riz parallel #It would be so funny if she hated him because she DIDNT have a crush on him #but everyone thinks she does #but Riz gets it #yes I’m still on the ‘Kipperlily is repressed sapphic for Lucy and she’s the mc of a Shakespearean tragedy’ train #but ‘repressed gay’ and ‘repressed ace’ still result in similar feelings when friends make jokes about being into someone you’re NOT #also she can be demiromantic ace #but if she DOES hate Riz and want to kill him because she likes him that would still be a win for me #because that’s LITERALLY GRACE CHASITY’S MOTIVE in Nerdy Prudes Must Die #and WHO was the first one to point out the parallels between them? #on that’s right #me #but lesbian/ace Kipperlily would be a bigger win so I’m rooting for that #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #d20 fantasy high #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #kipperlilly copperkettle #riz gukgak

[aimasup]

throws up my hands in mock resignation but also a hint of frustration Okay Valentino is a cool villain I guess

He's like. Genuinely unsettling. Wish the show struck a better balance with his character sometimes (like sometimes when he's onscreen I have to skip over because I feel queasy and sometimes he's so unsubtle he feels more like a prop than a guy who's going to be a Huge Deal in s2)

#why yes I have been reading some phenomenal fanfiction lately #a lesser me would be agonising over my inability to ever come close to matching the #masterfully characterised works of these talented WORD WEAVERS #but envy is a spoilt housepest and we must spend less time unleashing it upon new targets #instead let's talk about how these fics discovered its possible?? #to write Val as not only a 3dimensional character but a deeply horrifying person to WITNESS #to depict how he thinks and what he wants and what he contributes to the people around him #while acknowledging that his actions are supremely messed up #also without dumbing whatever the fuck is wrong with him down to just 'can't do math and needs a sippycup' #those jokes are funny but he's also a dealmaker #he doesn't need to be studied under a microscope! he needs to be gawked at in abject horror! Oh the Potential! #he needs to tell us more about how depraved hell can be by linking us to a portion of the culture full of the dead who cannot die! #anyways. rant over. uh I think I like valentino now? in the same way I like the old man villain from hunchback of notre dame. #just. (gestures) what is this dude. ew. oh my god #my post #personal stuff #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel valentino #is this anything #again I am entrenching on dangerous territory of 'expectations for this media I consume' #he really doesn't need to be written all shakespearean-like #too attached mayhaps #delete later #honestly worried that if the show does reveal his backstory or whatever it'll try to paint him in a sympathetic light #and then the online arguments will be a headache for a month #villain with tragic backstory ≠ sympathetic villain

[moonshynecybin]

insane images i found on getty that i now release to the public

#theres more on there especially of the divorce flavor this was getting SO long #alt caption: valentino rossi you will die in seven days. #please utilize for any of your web weaving or dumb joke needs #motogp #rosquez #callie speaks #long post #sorry !!

[tradingjack]

roadside tongari snack break

#is the joke too niche?? whatever #did some digital doodling while i was sick bc i did Not trust my hands to stay steady enough to work on a traditional piece #i feel a bit better now. still working through some congestion but i dont feel on the verge of passin out no more 👍 #nicholas d. wolfwood #vash the stampede #tongari the snack #trigun #98 or trimax continuity idc #either way i need to draw wolfwood with scruff or i Die #drawing #comic #illustration #artists on tumblr #small artist #manga #my art #fanart #not explicitly vashwood BUT. drawn with it in mind :3 #anyway tongari the chip has to exist somewhere on no man's land for wolfwood to nickname vash after it. right #somehow this very specific japanese snack made it #ik nightow did not think that hard about worldbuilding but fuck it. tongari chips on no man's land

[vivribbon]

your turn to die's secret ending?!?!

(based off of this)

#txt #your turn to die #yttd #yttd spoilers #thjis joke has been in my head for at least a week and i needed to make this before i died

[cryptiduni]

“white mourning.”

#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’ #jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice #judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice. #she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry #he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as #he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back. #he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb. #planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco #you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen #his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but #jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control #i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation. #but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse. #i relate to ​jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late #my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone. #kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon #disco elysium #de fanart #jean vicquemare #disco elysium fanart #jean heron vicquemare #jean posting #illustration #de #artists on tumblr #my art #I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!! #i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings #my little maiu maiu

[vioqumin]

I LOVE ARLECCHINO RAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

im not normal about her thank you for asking ❤️ im gonna summon her when she's here even if it kills me, i need her your honor 😭😭😭😭

#artwork #art #my art #illustration #イラスト #らくがき #rkgk #genshin impact #genshin fanart #arlecchino #fatui harbingers #im so stupidly down bad for arlecchino its not even funny #i think ill die if i cant summon her #legally that was a joke but i do need her #vioqumins art

[demonboyhalo]

The only true death is being forgotten, so yes, Technoblade will never die. His memory won't wither when it's 10 million strong, and the joy he gave the world can't be taken away. We will remember Technoblade. We will not allow him to die.

#death tw #i know this is going to feel impossible for a while. like you can't belive this isn't a joke - that it's actually happened #and every reminder of reality makes you start crying all over again. so don't be afraid to take time to yourself and stay offline #take as much time as you need - because i know the pain sucks. it REALLY fucking sucks #but there's nothing to be done for it besides keep going. keep moving and time will move with you and it WILL get better #we will always have his memory and even now that he's gone we have the laughter he left behind for us #keep living. we will not allow his memory to die. #technoblade