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#the biggest problem with love. all kinds of love. is that you care about people and then things happen to them that u can't control
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I keep having a day but like. every day and i think it would be nice if life was just boring for a little while 
#hey god im sorry i complained a lil too much about my life being boring#will never do so again! please and thanks return this subscription < 3#those words don't sound write. cancel this? idk idc#today i woke up at someone else's house#did the walk of shame back and then slept for too many hours and then went to panera with my friend and then he cried at panera#and then we went back to his house and then he cried at his house and then i cried at his house and then we both just cried#for like. several hours#and now im back in my apartment and im crying again#i've been in this city for two days and i think i've spent maybe 6 hours actually at my place#i want things to go back to normal i want life to not be complicated and messy and scary#the biggest problem with love. all kinds of love. is that you care about people and then things happen to them that u can't control#and literally everyone has so much pain and suffering and it's just. u can't take on all of it#all you can really do is lighten each other's burdens momentarily#this is about like four separate things < 3#anyways. both of those boys will get over their own issues#and more importantly my mom will get better#and no i can't bring her dad back i can't bring his mom back or his dad back#i think it's so so so fucked up how many parents die#but she's going to be okay. it's SUCH a common surgery and ya she's gonna suffer for a bit but then she'll be okay#i'm so sorry that you have to have a body!#so very sorry that u have to have a body#and also a brain that has to experience emotions that part sucsk too#also i think victoria got me sick#and i have an exam in four days i have been blowing off#studying for#and today nicholas did the *you don't get it do u i'm giving u social cues that i like u* talk that i'm getting a lil sick of having#but he was good about it. we both get what's up and also we both bonded over crying for several hours#literally alternated between oversharing crying and him pulling me into his chest and me doing the same for him#what is friendship if not that#and maybe the other boy will get over me soon and stop being mad at his roomie and maybe even still be my friend. i liked being friends
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artsekey · 5 months
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Disney's Wish
Look, Disney's Wish has been universally panned across the internet, and for good reason.
It’s just…kind of okay.
 When we sit down to watch a Disney film—you know, from the company that dominated the animation industry from 1989 to (arguably) the mid 2010’s and defined the medium of animation for decades—we expect something magnificent. Now, I could sit here and tell you everything that I thought was wrong with Wish, but if you’re reading this review, then I imagine that you’ve already heard the most popular gripes from other users across the web. So, let me focus in:
The biggest problem with Wish—in fact, the only problem with Wish—is Magnifico.
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Whoa, that’s crazy! There’re so many things about Wish that could’ve been better! The original concept was stronger! The music was bad--
I hear you, I do. But stay with me here, okay? Take my hand. I studied under artists from the Disney renaissance. I teach an adapted model of Disney’s story pipeline at a University level. I spent a ridiculous amount of time getting degrees in this, and I am about to dissect this character and the narrative to a stupid degree.
First, we need to understand that a good story doesn’t start and end with what we see on the screen. Characters aren’t just fictional people; when used well, characters are tools the author uses (or in this case, the director) to convey their message to the audience. Each character’s struggle should in some way engage with the story’s message, and consequently, the story’s theme. Similarly, when we look at our protagonist and our antagonist, we should see their characters and their journeys reflected in one-another.
So, what went wrong between Asha & Magnifico in terms of narrative structure?
Act I
In Wish, we’re introduced to our hero not long into the runtime—Asha. She’s ambitious, caring, and community-oriented; in fact, Asha is truly introduced to the audience through her love of Rosas (in “Welcome to Rosas”).  She’s surrounded by a colorful cast of friends who act as servants in the palace, furthering her connection with the idea of community but also telling us that she’s not of status, and then she makes her way to meet Magnifico for her chance to become his next apprentice.
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Quick aside: I'm not going to harp on Asha as a character in the context of Disney's overall canon. Almost every review I've seen covers her as a new addition to Disney's ever-growing repertoire of "Cute Quirky Heroines", and I think to be fair to Asha as an actor in the narrative, it serves her best to be weighed within the context of the story she's part of.
As Asha heads upstairs for her interview, we're introduced to the man of the hour: Magnifico. He lives in a tower high above the population of Rosas, immediately showing us how he differs from Asha; he’s disconnected from his community. He lives above them. He has status. While the broader context of the narrative wants us to believe that this also represents a sense of superiority, I would argue that isn’t what Magnifico’s introduction conveys; he's isolated.
Despite this distance, he does connect with Asha in “At All Costs”. For a moment, their goals and values align. In fact, they align so well that Magnifico sees Asha as someone who cares as much about Rosas as he does, and almost offers her the position.
… Until she asks him to grant Saba’s wish.
This is framed by the narrative as a misstep. The resonance between their ideals snaps immediately, and Magnifico says something along the line of “Wow. Most people wait at least a year before asking for something.”
This disappointment isn't played as coming from a place of power or superiority. He was excited by the idea of working with someone who had the same values as he did, who viewed Rosas in the same way he does, and then learns that Asha’s motivations at least partially stem from a place of personal gain.
Well, wait, is that really Asha's goal?
While it's not wholistically her goal, it's very explicitly stated & implied that getting Saba's wish granted is at least a part of it. The audience learns (through Asha's conversation with her friends before the interview) that every apprentice Magnifico has ever had gets not only their wish granted, but the wishes of their family, too!  Asha doesn’t deny that this is a perk that she’s interested in, and I don't think this is a bad thing.
So, Is Asha’s commitment to Saba selfless, or selfish? I’m sure the director wanted it to seem selfless, wherein she believes her family member has waited long enough and deserves his wish granted, but we can’t ignore the broader context of Asha essentially trying to… skip the line.
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Then, we get our first point of tension. Magnifico reveals his “true colors” in snapping at Asha, telling her that he “decides what people deserve”. This is supposed to be the great motivator, it’s meant to incite anger in the audience—after all, no one gets to decide what you deserve, right? But unfortunately for the integrity of the film and the audience's suspension of disbelief, at least part of Magnifico’s argument is a little too sound to ignore:
Some wishes are too vague and dangerous to grant. Now, there’s visual irony here; he says this after looking at a 100 old man playing the lute. The idea that something so innocuous could be dangerous is absurd, and the audience is meant to agree.
... But we’ve also seen plenty of other wishes that might be chaotic—flying on a rocket to space, anyone? The use of the word vague is important, too—this implies wording matters, and that a wish can be misinterpreted or evolve into something that is dangerous even if the original intent was innocuous. His reasoning for people forgetting their wish (protecting them from the sadness of being unable to attain their dreams) is much weaker, but still justifiable (in the way an antagonist’s flawed views can be justified). The film even introduces a facet of Magnifico’s backstory that implies he has personal experience with the grief of losing a dream (in the destruction of his home), but that thread is never touched on again.
              What is the audience supposed to take from this encounter? If we’re looking at the director’s intent, I’d argue that we’ve been introduced to a well-meaning young girl and a king who’s locked away everyone’s greatest aspiration because he believes he deserves to have the power to decide who gets to be happy.
              But what are we shown? Our heroine, backed by her friends, strives to be Magnifico’s apprentice because she loves the city but also would really like to see her family's wishes granted. When this request is denied and she loses the opportunity to be his apprentice, she deems Magnifico’s judgement unfair & thus begins her journey to free the dreams of Rosas’ people.
              In fairness, Magnifico doesn’t exhibit sound judgement or kindness through this act of the film. He’s shown to be fickle, and once his composure cracks, he can be vindictive and sharp. He's not a good guy, but I'd argue he's not outright evil. He's just got the makings of a good villain, and those spikes of volatility do give us a foundation to work off of as he spirals, but as we’ll discuss in a bit, the foreshadowing established here isn’t used to the ends it implies.
              While I was watching this film, I was sure Magnifico was going to be a redeemable villain. He can’t connect with people because he's sure they value what he provides more than they value him (as seen in “At All Costs” and the aftermath), and Asha’s asking for more was going to be framed as a mistake. His flaw was keeping his people too safe and never giving them the chance to sink or swim, and he's too far removed from his citizens to see that he is appreciated. Asha does identify this, and the culmination of her journey is giving people the right to choose their path, but the way Magnifico becomes the “true” villain and his motivations for doing so are strangely divorced from what we’re shown in Act I.  
Act II:
His song, “This is the Thanks I Get!?” furthers the idea that Magnifico’s ire—and tipping point—is the fact that he thinks the people he’s built a kingdom for still want more. Over the course of this 3:14 song, we suddenly learn that Magnifico sends other people to help his community and doesn’t personally get involved (we never see this outside of this song), and that he’s incredibly vain/narcissistic (he's definitely a narcissist). I think feeling under-appreciated is actually a very strong motivation for Magnifico as a character-turning-villain, and it works very well. It’s justified based on what we’ve seen on screen so far: he feels under-appreciated (even though he’s decidedly not—the town adores him), he snaps and acts irrationally under stress (as seen with his outburst with Asha), and he’s frustrated that people seem to want more from him (again, as seen with his conversation with Asha in Act I).
              But then… he opens the book.
Ah, the book. As an object on screen, we know that it's filled with ancient and evil magic, well-known to be cursed by every relevant character in the film, and kept well-secured under lock and key. But what does it stand for in the context of the narrative's structure? A quick path to power? We're never told that it has any redeeming qualities; Magnifico himself doesn't seem to know what he's looking for when he opens it. It feels... convenient.
I think it's also worth noting that he only turns to the book when he's alone; once again, the idea of connection and community rears it's ugly head! Earlier in the film, Amaya-- his wife-- is present and turns him away from taking that path. In her absence, he makes the wrong choice.
This decision could make sense; it contains powerful magic, and if it were framed in such a way that the people of Rosas were losing faith in Magnifico’s magic, as if what he can do might not be enough anymore after what they felt from Star, going for the book that we know contains spells that go above and beyond what he can already do would be logical. Along the lines of, “If they’re not happy with what I do for them, fine. I, ever the “martyr”, will do the unthinkable for you, because you want more.”
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            It would keeps with the idea that Magnifico believes he's still trying to help people, but his motivation has taken his self-imposed pity party and turned it into resentment and spite.
 But, that’s not the case. Instead he talks about reversing that “light”, which has had no real negative or tangible consequences on Rosas. Everyone had a warm feeling for a few seconds. Again, it’s meant to paint him as a vain control freak, but… he hasn’t lost any power. The citizens of Rosas even assume the great showing of magic was Magnifico.
Act III
              Then, we get to the consequences of opening the book (and perhaps my biggest qualm with this film). The book is established as being cursed. Magnifico knows it, Asha knows it, and Amaya—who is introduced as loyal-- knows it. The characters understand his behavior is a direct result of the book, and search for a way to save him. This is only the focus of the film for a few seconds, but if you think about it, the fact that his own wife cannot find a way to free him of the curse he’s been put under is unbelievably tragic. Worse still, upon discovering there is no way to reverse the curse, Magnifico—the king who built the city & “protected it” in his own flawed way for what seems to be centuries—is thrown out by his wife. You know, the wife who's stood loyal at his side for years?
              It’s played for laughs, but there’s something unsettling about a character who’s clearly and explicitly under the influence of a malevolent entity being left… unsaved. If you follow the idea of Magnifico being disconnected from community being a driving force behind his arc, the end of the film sees him in a worse situation he was in at the start: truly, fully alone.
              They bring in so many opportunities for Magnifico to be sympathetic and act as a foil for Asha; he’s jaded, she’s not. He’s overly cautious (even paranoid), she’s a risk-taker. He turns to power/magic at his lowest point, Asha turns to her friends at her lowest point. Because this dichotomy isn’t present, and Magnifico—who should be redeemable—isn’t, the film is so much weaker than it could’ve been. The lack of a strong core dynamic between the protagonist and antagonist echoes through every facet of the film from the music to the characterization to the pacing, and I believe if Magnifico had been more consistent, the film would’ve greatly improved across the board.
I mean, come on! Imagine if at the end of the film, Asha—who, if you remember, did resonate with Magnifico’s values at the start of the film—recognizes that he's twisted his original ideals and urges him to see the value in the people he’s helped, in their ingenuity, in their gratitude, & that what he was able to do before was enough. Going further, asking what his wish is or was—likely something he’s never been asked— and showing empathy! We’d come full circle to the start of the film where Asha asks him to grant her wish.
Pushing that further, if Magnifico’s wish is to see Rosas flourish or to be a good/beloved king, he'd have the the opportunity to see the value in failing and how pursuing the dream is its own complex and valuable journey, and how not even he is perfect.
 The curse and the book (which, for the purposes of this adjustment, would need to be established as representing the idea of stepping on others to further your own goals/the fast way to success), then serve as the final antagonist, that same curse taking root in the people of Rosas who’ve had their dreams destroyed, and Asha works with the community to quell it. Asha’s learned her lesson, so has Magnifico, and the true source of evil in the film—the book—is handled independently. Magnifico steps back from his role as King, Amaya still ends up as Queen, and Asha takes her place as the new wish-granter.
This route could even give us the true “Disney villain” everyone’s craving; giving the book sentience and having it lure Magnifico in during “This is the Thanks I Get!?” leaves it as its own chaotic evil entity.
All in all, Magnifico's introduction paved a road to redemption that the rest of the film aggressively refused to deliver on, instead doubling down on weaker motivations that seem to appear out of thin air. Once the audience thinks, hey, that bad guy might have a point, the protagonist has to do a little more heavy lifting to convince us they're wrong.
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Look at the big-bad-greats from Disney's library. There isn't a point in the Lion King where we pause and think, "Wait a second, maybe Scar should be the guy who rules the Pridelands." Ursula from the Little Mermaid, though motivated by her banishment from King Triton's Seas, never seems to be the right gal for the throne. Maybe Maleficent doesn't get invited to the princess's birthday party, but we don't watch her curse a baby and think, Yeah, go curse that baby, that's a reasonable response to getting left out.
What do they all have in common? Their motivation is simple, their goal is clear, and they don't care who they hurt in pursuit of what they want.
Magnifico simply doesn't fall into that category. He's motivated by the idea of losing power, which is never a clear or impactful threat. His goal at the start seems to be to protect Rosas, then it turns into protecting his own power, and then-- once he's corrupted-- he wants to capture Star. The problem is, there's no objective to put this power toward. Power for power's sake is useless. Scar craves power because he feels robbed of status. Ursula believes the throne is rightfully hers. Maleficent wanted to make a statement. Magnifico... well, I'm not really sure.
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blackpilljesus · 2 months
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I saw this from the female separatism subreddit & the responses are some of the biggest reasons for separatism et al (or extinction if I'm being candid here). Moids cant be reformed they are fully aware of the hell they force women to live in. MaIe achievement & happiness is rooted in female exploitation & life. Their glory days are based on our horrific days. No amount of love, kindness or facts will change maIes and we cannot happily or even neutrally coexist with them.
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Main points across answers:
Many want to experiment but not permanently be women
They dont want to be in constant danger or lose their autonomy at the hands of maIes for merely existing
They dont want to deal with childbirth (& periods)
They dont want to have to share spaces with species much stronger than them with ulterior motives
It makes me go crazy seeing people give moids benefit of doubt for their evil like "maIes just dont understand", "we need to teach maIes", or claiming that maIe violence is a result of maIes struggling with (expressing) their feelings. I get that women love maIes and it can be hard to imagine that people can intentionally be so evil but it is what it is. MaIes have no problems expressing themselves, abusing women is what maIes choose to do because they enjoy & benefit from it - that is their expression.
MaIes see the same news of women being abused, raped, and killed like we do except rather than be disheartened or alarmed they're either apathetic or satisfied. It isn't aliens that's committing GBV it's maIes & maIes have no problem reminding women of this when women anger them (such as rape threats & threatening women they'll end up on the news/true crime). The victim blaming, denial, and derailment of misogyny is part of the game to keep the system alive, they know the events occured & are a systemic occurence they just dont care. Hell not only do they not care, they rejoice in it or get off on it.
MaIes set up environments that work in their favour which simultaneously ensures that women will lose. They know women are set up to live in damn near impossible conditions for us. It's normalised for women to defenselessly share personal & private spaces with beings much more stronger than them with ulterior motives for us, it's trap. It's interesting how these moids aren't saying that they'll just cover up and *poof* harrassment gone, or they'll just pick a nice guy & they'll be okay. MaIes know the net negative they are towards women.
MaIes know that childbirth is a painful process & what do they do? Demand it happens and make it even MORE painful for women. MaIes that impregnate women do not love or care for them. Pregnancy itself is dangerous & sometimes lethal, often comes with a range of health issues, to cause someone to be in that condition especially in a environment where abortions are illegal is reckless & unloving. Now imagine how sinister & full of hatred one has to be to impregnate someone and abuse them on top of that. Many women risk their health & lives to reproduce with a Y and they get abused by said Y instead of being taken care of. Deranged.
Realising that maIes are aware of the evil they inflict is one of the things that radicalised me. It isn't a miscommunication or ignorance issue, their violence is intended. They want control. The cruelty is the point. Instead of wasting time & energy trying to change maIes or hope that they "understand" one day, focus on yourself & other women (who prioritise women). Moids aren't oblivious to female pain they enjoy it. A lot of women treat maIe evil like it's a mistake on maIes part but it's calculated terrorism. I know that this will go over many womens heads as they refuse to hold strong negative sentiments about moids as a collective so if you're not a woman like that, take this post as a sanity check. You aren't crazy, it isn't all in your head.
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emoangel44 · 3 months
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The thing I've always loved most about aa4 is how much darker the tone is than the rest of the series in a way that isn't just edgy for the sake of it, but subverts your expectations from the original 3 games in a really interesting way. The trilogy was built upon the trust Phoenix had in others, and it was something we as players could almost always feel certain in. AA4 flips this on its head and makes it so Apollo effectively can't trust anyone but himself.
Your mentor, who the in the trilogy was a paragon of wisdom you could always turn to no matter what, gets revealed to be the culprit and sent to jail in the first trial and by the end of the game his list of crimes has stacked high but you still have so few answers on why he did any of it.
Your boss, the goofy protagonist of the trilogy, is now inexplicably a washed-up, disgraced, cheating poker player with an implied drinking problem who seemingly found a new hobby in evidence forgery and jury rigging.
He has a codependent relationship with his daughter, your assistant, who usually is a completely innocent and hapless victim of circumstance. She sees herself as the provider for the house and will help her father cheat at poker, or forge evidence, or guilt trip the poor attorney they knowingly screwed of out of a job into working for them for dirt cheap.
The detective, the only other returning main character, a previous assistant, is completely changed since we last saw her. In the trilogy she was chipper and bright despite the hardships she faced, and now she's unfriendly and burned out, turned bitter by the world. The scene we're first properly introduced to her in Apollo genuinely spends several minutes thinking his boss is making him bribe her with cocaine.
Every single defendant is a criminal guilty of something other than what they're charged for. Each case centers around an underground black-market poker ring, a mafia family and medical malpractice, a smuggling ring, and a family of forgers and an incredibly shady troupe of magicians. The one thing all of these people have in common is that none of them will tell you literally anything about what's happening, half of them clearly reveling in being as big of cryptic assholes as possible.
The only person who doesn't fit this description is, for once, the prosecutor. Usually your biggest obstacle and the most morally corrupt of the main cast, he's the only person who's both 100% on the side of truth and on the same page as you for the entire game. He's just as clueless as you, being used nothing more than a chess piece just like you are.
But the truly masterful thing about AA4 is how morally grey it is. These characters aren't just one note villains. They're not even villains at all. Most of them aren't even malicious.
Your boss, for all the low levels he stoops to, is underneath it all the same guy he's always been, doing everything he can to bring a criminal to justice and protect his family. Your assistant is a sweet girl who truly cares about you, she's just prioritizing herself and her fathers safety before anything else. The detective is the same passionate and kind woman under everything else. The rest of the defendants are genuinely well-meaning young people who got involved in shady stuff they didn't fully understand.
The game is filled with good people trying to make the best of bad circumstances. The game has just as many fun moments as the original trilogy. For all it's rough appearance, the game has a similar heart. For every unanswered question or unrighted wrong, there's a smile or a hope for a better future. For every bad action, there's usually someone trying their best behind it. The game is melancholic and dark, but isn't afraid to let good shine through. It knows there's no shadows without the light.
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rosesnbooks · 1 year
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Astrology observations #2
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-people who lack an element in their chart really do surround themselves with a lot of people in said element. for example, my friend lacks earth and has at least 4 friends who are earth sun signs
-some capricorns really can't get along with leos, but they are attracted to sag and aries placements. they can't help it
-mars in the 1st house get sexualised a lot, to the point it gets too much for some people..especially women. these people are also very ambitious. even when going through tough times, they never lose sight from their goals
-mercury in aquarius have a unique humor. the same goes for mercury in the 11th.
-virgo mercury pay attention to details, esp when they like you..the things they remember and gifts they give you, shows how thoughtful they are
- fire signs/houses..please tell me that you've been told at least once that you talk too loud. i have aries mercury and my friend mercury in the 9th and we both had a revelation that we talk too loud lmao
-well-developed capricorns are such sweethearts. they are reasonable and grounded, but they are also so funny and charming. they may appear as if they have everything under control at all times, but they're just like the rest of us
-water signs have the craziest dreams i swear😭some can sound like scenes from a movie, fantasy and/or horror
-moon in the 5th house/leo think about themselves a lot and take things personally. they think everything is about them. on the other hand, they have the biggest hearts and they want to make everyone they love happy. can you blame them tho for wanting to feel like a main character
-when you want to ease your mind, talk to someone who has a sagittarius mercury and they will cheer you up
-having an empty 7th house might mean that you don't have much, if any, relationship experience. you probably give good relationship advice though
-aquarius/11th house placements have their own strong moral code. they can usually hide their feelings well, but if they realise someone is being intolerant towards others and mean, they'll get really emotional. they want the world to be a better place, and get frustrated when they see how many people don't care
-capricorn placements may have really complex relationship with their parents. they often expect too much from their kids, and since they prove that they can endure almost everything, the parents don't loosen their grip. they need to know their worth and forget about the expectations!
-mercury retrograde can really cause communication issues for people. it is difficult for these people to express how they feel and stand up to others. but, it does get better with time!
-aries and taurus placements combo in a man can be very dark imo, they are often players. they also have huge ego problems. i dislike emphasizing only the darker parts of people, so i have to admit that these placements, if well-developed, can be very loyal and passionate especially with people they love. they are also incredibly hard-working and focused, it's really admirable.
-be careful when dealing with men that have virgo and libra placements in their chart. some may be romantic and attentive, while others can nitpick your every flaw and can have ridiculously high standards. they can cheat and lie easily as well
-sagittarius venus love adventure, having a partner who doesn't know how to have fun and explore things is a big turn off to them. they can make compromises for their more serious partners, but if they can't reciprocate the same effort, it's not going to work
-cancer risings seem very approachable and kind. their eyes are usually big and curious, almost childlike
-this has been said many times, but venus in the 1st individuals truly are beautiful. there is also something different and captivating in their beauty, they stand out wherever they go
-saturn in the 3rd house/gemini may indicate that a person faced speech/writing difficulties when they were young, or they continue to struggle with it
-pisces moons tend to forget things and their memory can betray them at times. as a pisces moon, i think that's because we are in our heads too much and we remember how we felt about things, not the words and actions. we also struggle with being present 100% of the time, so we perhaps didn't listen to you in the first place (i'm sorry)
take this with a grain of salt, since i only read about astrology in my free time!💜
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astroloverblog · 11 months
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—Neptune in the Houses part.1—
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Neptune in the first house:
It makes you a kind, generous and definitely empathetic person but also your sensitivity is often reached to a higher level than it normally should be. You might have identity crisis at times or are confused about your personality. Its sure to say that there is a dreamy, ethereal, photogenic, stylistic, feminine & soft beauty about you. You’re imaginative, kind, sensitive, sympathetic, reliable, charismatic & psychological. Because of ur great imagination, you might have musical or artistic abilities. You should be able to express yourself creatively in front of others. You’re an idealist who makes people feel like you truly understand them and you always follow your intuition. Most of the time you observe emotions and energies from other people around you. You might sometimes even mimic those emotions or personality traits just to “fit in”. Although this ability can make you seem attractive, appealing or magnetic. You don’t care what others think of you. Its likely that in social situations this placement will simply just go with the flow. Try to avoid “friends” or friend groups that will have a bad influence on you. Neptune in the 1st house individuals like helping others, they are highly intuitive but they also often choose to run away from problems bc of how afraid they’re to face the truth/reality. You may be forgetful or have a hard time remembering things. Planets in the 12th house may indicate feelings of loneliness. You may be very spiritual or have spiritual interests of any kind, for example meditating, yoga, photography or illusional art. Some people might think you have a unreasonable behaviour or that you have a complicated & chaotic personality. You could come off as detached or unavailable for some people but you know how to life in the present moment. You need a lot of time on your own.
Neptune in the second house:
You may experience wild dreams. You appreciate luxury and beautiful objects & make money by helping others. You can also boost your money manifestation powers and may find yourself attracting money easily. You have unrealistic needs and the relationships with you & money is quite complicated. The biggest problem for people with Neptune in the second house is that despite your deep intuition, you’re blind to financial problems in many areas. Money is not your first focus, and u could easily participate in financially stressful activities such as gambling. You can be selfless, but you can also be overly obsessed with material possessions and money. The purpose of life for people with Neptune in the second house is to grow as a person and help others do the same. You strive for personal perfection and want to take others on this journey. You may like eating Marine/sea animals bc of Poseidon’s influence in the 2nd. You like dreaming of pretty clothes, great food or anything associated with your material needs. Its hard for you to find motivation but once you found it, there is no one who can hold you back from doing what you want.
Neptune in the third house:
You might easily be inspired. You might have the ability to see in the future or you feel like you can read people’s mind. You may want to live near a sea or the ocean. Having natal Neptune in third house can either mean you concentrate very deeply or cannot concentrate at all. These people have a spiritual, confusing or detached relationship with their siblings or their relatives. Its likely that you don‘t have a relationship with your neighbours, or you rarely see your siblings. In puberty you might daydream about your teacher(s) in class, believe me its not worth a try. Although you may dream of becoming a teacher or writer someday. But bc most of these individuals aren’t interested in school at all, they might even drop out of school if they want. You normally tend to see the best in others & love spending time with ur loved one’s. You’re a great communicator that likes to think deeply about things.
Neptune in the fourth house:
This placement could indicate that maybe you have a unstable household every day life. You might felt like your inner child isn’t complete or there was something missing in your childhood. If there are harsh aspects w Neptune then you could feel like you lack emotional safety or support from your parents. Its likely that you have a spiritual connection with one or both of ur parents. Maybe you can’t really remember of what ur childhood was like. Some individuals with this placement were adopted, lost their family as a kid or have one missing parent, thats why they often struggle with the past. You may feel like you don’t belong anywhere or feel lost of where your place is. You are likely to self-sacrifice for others, making it easy to manipulate you into doing so. Think about yourself first, then of others. One of your parents could be emotionally detached, somewhat frustrating, an alcoholic or a mystic for the whole family. At some point you might have caught yourself thinking; Why not run away from home? You always felt invisible or forgotten by your family & your family is very chaotic. As a kid you might have had imaginary friends, you always feared the dark and might had have insomnia at some point in ur life.
Neptune in the fifth house:
When it comes to love, you’re kinda like the hopeless romantic. This placement can indicate secret love affairs. You might have unique children in the future. You’re very charismatic and love anything related to drama and entertainment. Having other persona planets in this house means you enjoy being in the spotlight or drama. You’re a great storyteller and might have good acting abilities. You love children and do anything to make them happy, maybe you want to become the perfect parent you always dreamed of having. You love your partner unconditionally, search for a deep full connection but you can be naive in relationships and wear rose-tinted glasses (similar to Neptune in the 7th). Neptune is mostly about idealisation & in this case you might also idealise your partner. If Neptune is bad aspected with several planets then you might suffer from illusion or you can’t see things very clearly. You like watching movies a lot or playing video games related to science/fantasy fiction as a form of escaping your everyday life. You dream of a partner with artistic or musical abilities, someone who is creative or inspires you in general (especially if Juno falls into that house).
Neptune in the sixth house:
This is a more difficult placement because Neptune rules over Pisces and Virgo over the 6th house so its opposition. Meaning that Neptune doesn’t feel good in the 6th which is why you could have difficulty focusing on daily activities or your routine. It could as well be difficult for them to find a job. You might find it hard to find motivation to complete even your daily tasks. You’re an animal lover and at least have a cat or a dog. You’ve came to this earth to heal others and try to protect the world wherever you can. Neptune in the 6th house aren’t such fans of routine, they might rather be spontaneous instead of creating a to do list. Its common for them to be lazy and not clean their room (can’t be angry with u at this one). Maybe you don’t have such a strong immune system & that’s why you often get ill, you might have the rarest allergies. This placement can in worst cases lead to depression since their favourite thing to do is lay in bed all day & do nothing. You’re too busy being stuck in daydreams thats mostly the reason you can’t get your work done. You‘re prone to last minute canceling or “I’ll do it tomorrow”. You might also struggle from insomnia or panic attacks, so meditate daily or get some sleep. If you ever dreamed about getting the perfect body, don’t panic, I know you’re gonna make this. You just need the will to achieve your daily goals. The lesson you have to learn is that you should make sure to take enough care of yourself. It could also be difficult for you to show up at work on time and not too late.
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greykolla-art · 1 month
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Your art smells like jthm (COMPLJMENT)!!..
Also are there any kool headcanons you have about the characters??
Oh thank you! I love how many different things my art style reminds people of!😂❤
(Í think it's all the hatching and random thickness in the brush strokes.)
But yeah i have some Headcanons! At least for Alastor cause he's the one I think about the most.😜
These are just things I decided to keep in mind when I come up with scripts:
*Al's smile is stitched on him, so he can never stop doing it even if he wanted to.
*He normaly doesn't sleep, (except when hes injured and is using a lot of energy to heal.) at night he just wanders around the hotel like a creepy ghost.
*I don't think Lilith owns his soul. I think it's a third party character we haven't met yet. He and Lilith are connected in some way, obviously, but not a soul-contract way. I honestly have a lot of problems with that theory. for excample: Why would Lilith from the Bible give someone voodoo themed powers???
*Alastor is terrified of feeling exposed, weak or vulnerable. I think when he was alive he experienced that a lot and now he's trying to make himself impervious to any kind of emotional damage.
* He's also very prideful person. When he came to Hell he was like the new kid in school taking down the biggest guy's there to assert his dominance. Putting up walls as fast as he could and screaming: "Don't come near me or I'll bite your head off!"
*I think there's a voodoo doll of him somewhere, and he's desperate to find it. Or he has found it already and hidden it.
*he wants Charlie's soul because that would make him stronger than whoever owns his soul. Therefore be able to break his contract but still keep being powerful.
* I project onto him one of my own personality traits: Being aroace but very romanticly flirty without wanting really anything out if it. Just a proper gentleman. With a trail of confused, broken hearts behind him. (Im personally tryin not to do that but Al doesn't care, obvs.)😅
*People who want him sexually bore him. (Another personality trait I'm projecting onto him.)
*unless you're more powerful than him or are able to further his goals, he'll never go out of his way to dislike you. He never punches down, but he wont have any strong feelings about it.
Í probably have more, but these were fun to write down!😁
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inmyicyworld · 9 months
Text
Wakanda
pt. 2
Summary: You visit Bucky in Wakanda, and the hidden feelings are finally coming out.
Words count: 2.6k.
Warnings: smut, best friends to lovers, Bucky has one arm, he's insecure, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talk, pet names.
Author’s note: I finally wrote this because this scenario couldn't let me sleep peacefully. I also have an idea for the second part (with Bucky’s new arm🤭), so I'll write it if you like this part <3
*English is not my first language, sorry if you find any mistakes*
masterlist my ao3 ko-fi
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You finally got permission to visit Bucky in Wakanda again since he was permanently living there to get rid of the Winter Soldier program and learn how to live a normal life again. You were there only three times because Princess Shuri and Ayo insisted that too much contact with other people might distract Bucky. 
The last time you were there with Steve and, even if you loved him to death, you couldn't deny the disappointment that you barely spent any time with Bucky alone. He was your best friend since you and Steve saved him in Bucharest, and you had the biggest crush on him for about the same amount of time.
You jumped right into his arms as soon as you walked down the hill and saw him standing near the lake. He hugged you back, burying his face into your neck, and it was truly the moment that you never wanted to end. Bucky smelled like fresh air mixed with some kind of seasoning, and fuck, he looked good. In traditional Wakandian clothes that were covering his missing arm too, a low bun on the back of his head with a few springs of hair around his face, and smooth and tanned skin from the work under the sun.
You two quickly moved to his hut with the food that you bought at the local cafe owned by a sweet old man. And somewhere after that, when you were eating on the floor covered with many blankets and colorful pillows and talking about your lives, everything went downhill. 
Food was forgotten. Somehow you ended up sitting on Bucky’s lap while you were connected in the most passionate and dirty kiss you ever had. Your hands were tightly holding his face, and his right one had a strong grip on your waist to hold you closer.
“Bucky…” You moaned in his mouth while your hips were grinding into his hardness, which was so obvious through the clothes. You both were so lost in the moment, sharing a desperate kiss full of tongues and teeth, trying to get to each other as close as possible.
It felt so right, like it was supposed to happen a long time ago, and now all of your feelings just couldn't be kept inside.
Bucky couldn't help but groan under his breath when your hand slipped into his hair, completely destroying his low bun. Your nails on his scalp felt majestic, and his brain became fuzzy with your gentle yet confident touches. Bucky moved his hand from your waist to your thigh, squeezing the soft and warm skin a little bit lower than your shorts. 
When he pulled away, you tried to follow his mouth, almost addicted to the taste and the feeling of his lips on yours.
“Fuck, doll, that’s not how I imagined it.” His face became sad and almost apologetic, and you saw that the corners of his now red lips moved downward in disappointment. “Not here, not with only one arm... Fuck, I can’t even touch you the way I want to.” His hand tightened on your hip, and you gave him a sad smile. Not that those things mattered to you, but your heart still hurt because Bucky felt that way.
“I don’t care about it. I just want you, Bucky, if you want me too, of course.” Your voice was soft and gentle, soothing his nerves a little bit.
“You can’t imagine how much I want it, but I can’t do much with one hand; fuck, it’s so bad, I’m sorry...” Bucky’s eyes closed and his head fell lower, but you could still see a pink flush on his cheeks.
“Bucky, I want it; I want you, and your hand is not a problem, okay?” He deeply inhaled when your hands took his face and your lips were back on his. The kiss wasn’t so harsh and desperate; it was more deep and passionate, like you both tried to feel each other. “Why don’t you just lay back on the pillows, and I’ll do everything?” You bit your lip, suddenly feeling slightly nervous, and put your right hand on his chest, pushing Bucky back on the pile of pillows behind him so he was sitting in a reclined position.
You saw the hesitation in his eyes, and you waited a few seconds, gently rubbing your fingers over his beard, so he could process your idea.
“Okay.” 
You got closer, sitting more comfortably on top of him. One of your hands pressed onto the pillows near Bucky’s body, and the other one landed on his firm chest, playing with the red clothes that he was wearing. Bucky lifted his hand, gently grabbing your face and kissing you again. His soft lips and slow movements of his tongue inside your mouth made you moan into a kiss.
“Can I take it off?” You mumbled, slightly pulling down the red material. More of his soft, tanned skin was shown, and you tried to hold yourself together and not overstep the line. Bucky’s pupils were dilated, almost completely hiding your favorite blues. He was closely watching your moving lips, as if he couldn’t get enough. 
“Mhm, but— please, can we leave this on?” He pointed to his shoulder, covered in blue material.
“If you feel more comfortable that way, then we can. But we don’t have to, if you suggest it only because of me.” You started to untangle his clothes, still watching his face to notice any signs of discomfort. 
“Just leave it on, okay?” 
“Okay.” As you removed the clothes from his chest, leaving the cover on his left shoulder, allowing you to see his perfectly sculpted body, your lips left soft kisses on Bucky’s cheek, going down to his neck and to his abs. You stopped there, feeling how the body underneath you tensed, and his hand gripped the duvet so hard that his knuckles became white. “Bucky?” 
“‘M okay, it’s just been so long for me. Didn’t get used to feeling that way. And I want you so bad, doll, I can’t even explain it.” He closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. You felt that his cock was painfully hard underneath you, and just thinking about touching it made you ten times wetter.
“You can have me, Bucky. Do you want me to take the rest of our clothes?” You moved your hips a little bit, getting an almost desperate whine from Bucky. He looked so good like this: slightly disheveled hair, flushed cheeks, red lips, and eyes full of lust and need. And he was completely yours, fuck.
“Yes, please.” 
You placed a quick kiss on his lips before getting up. Bucky’s eyes were following your every move as you took off your shorts and t-shirt, staying in the cooling air only in your simple black underwear. But Bucky was looking at you like you were the most delicious and precious thing in the world, like he wanted to make love to you and completely destroy your body at the same time. 
“Doll– fuck, everything else too, please.” He licked his lips, unconsciously moving his hips from the lack of attention. Your eyes slipped to his crotch, seeing how his cock was very visible through layers of clothes.
You just smiled at his desperation but still reached to the back to unclip your bra and then slide your panties down your legs. You didn’t waste any more time, going back to Bucky and finally completely taking off his clothes. 
“Holy fuck…” Your mouth went completely dry when you pulled down his black boxers. You never found this part of a man’s body that attractive, but it was the prettiest dick you had ever seen. Thick and long, with a vein going around it and a slight curve towards his press. The shiny drop of pre-cum on the head made you instantly want to lick it, but the mumble of your name and calloused hand on the lower part of your back brought your attention back to Bucky.
“You’re going to kill me, doll. C’mere, please, I want– need to touch you. Need to kiss you.” Before you could even say something or move, his hand slipped under your ass and, without much effort, lifted you on top of him. “You’re so beautiful, sweetheart. I want to worship you and make you feel good; I’m so sorry that I can’t.” 
“Bucky,” you said, laying down on his chest. “I promise that when you get your new arm, I’ll let you fuck me however you want to, okay? But for now, I want to take care of you.” The feeling of your hard nipples pressing against his firm chest sent shivers down your spine, and the hand on your back made you want to grind on Bucky like a bitch in heat. “Please, touch me, baby.”
“You shouldn’t say shit like this to me, doll. I won’t let you go until you can’t even fucking think straight. Fuck–  how are you so soft…” Bucky’s hand was now exploring your body, gripping your ass, tracing your stomach, and going straight to your sensitive boobs. He never wanted to have both arms as much as he does now, to touch every curve of your body and find everything that makes you feel good.
“Bucky!” Your hands pressed against his chest, and your head fell back with a moan when he pinched your nipple in between his fingers. He chuckled softly before sliding his hand down, right to your dripping core.
“Doll, look at you.” His eyes were glued to the place where his fingers traced your folds. “Is this all for me?” 
“Y-yes, Bucky, please…” You almost cried at the feeling that he gave you. Even if it was a long time for him, Bucky definitely didn’t forget how to please a woman. Your legs desperately wanted to close from the stimulation on the clit, but since you were spread on top of him, you couldn’t do anything but whine and dig your nails into the hot skin under your hands. “Don’t tease me, just— Fuck!” 
“Taking my fingers so good, doll.” You knew that he was smiling because of your reaction as two thick digits slid inside of you, filling you so well but not enough at the same time. “You’re already ready for my cock, huh? Wanna feel how this pretty pussy stretches around me. C'mon, baby, help me.” Bucky moved his hips upward, and you felt how his dick was pressing on your ass.
“You have a dirty mouth, Barnes.” You laughed before reaching to the back, grabbing his cock, and lifting your body at the same time. You put the tip at your entrance, running his length through your folds and letting the head bump your clit as he collected your wetness, until you both couldn’t handle the teasing anymore. Bucky put his hands on your ass, pressing on top and allowing you to slowly take him inside of you.
It was too much. The burn of him stretching you was slightly painful, but it made you feel so full, as if the two pieces of puzzles finally added up. You both moaned, your head fell back, and you tried to go slowly and adjust to his size.
Bucky’s hand tightened on your hip, probably leaving red marks. He breathed deeply to control his fast-beating heart. You felt so fucking good, all wet and tight for him, that it was hard not to move his hips into you. But it was obvious that you needed some time based on your tensed body and slightly opened mouth.
“Bucky…” Your eyes were flattering, not being able to completely focus on his face. You thought that you could just fuck him and take control, but you didn’t expect to be this cock drunk before either of you even made a move.
“So pretty lookin’ like this baby.”
“‘M so full…” You moaned, gripping Bucky’s hand and interlacing your fingers. 
You found a comfortable position, holding yourself with one hand on Bucky’s chest. The first movement of your hips was shocking, sending goosebumps all over your body. You both loudly moaned when you moved up, until he almost slipped out of you, and then down, burying his cock deeply inside. 
Bucky’s lower half slightly moved up when his non-existent left arm wanted to grab your hips, and you must’ve noticed the disappointment and anger written on his face because you leaned a little bit lower and freed your hand from his grip, moving it to his face. 
“That’s okay, Buck, just relax, please? Don’t worry.” You cooed in the softest voice. Your hips started to slowly move at a stable pace.
“You’re so perfect, baby.” He mumbled, and you felt that his body started to thrust into yours, so his cock perfectly touched your g-spot.
It became more intense with every minute. The little hut was filled with the smell of sex and the sound of your moans, combined with the skin slapping. You were too desperate for each other, trying to reach your climaxes but not wanting this moment to end. 
Bucky tried to touch you as much as possible; he wanted to make you feel good, give you satisfaction, and fulfill his own needs in your presence. He moved his hand from your ass to your stomach and boobs, then to your face, bringing you closer for another hot and passionate kiss. He was all over you, hungry to get more and to remember every centimeter of your perfect body. 
You two moved in perfect rhythm, meeting each other's movements.
“Please, Bucky– it’s so good, fu-uck, I’m gonna cum.” You cried out loud, feeling that your body was starting to go numb from your approaching orgasm. 
“Such a good pussy, takin’ me so well. ‘M close too, baby; ride my cock, c’mon. Get what you need.” He slapped your ass, encouraging you to move faster. “So pretty wrapped around me. Can I cum inside you, hm? You’ll let me feel you up?” 
Your head quickly nodded while you didn’t break eye contact with the man in front of you. Bucky bit his lip, trying to control himself and get you to the finish first, but you looked so fucking good on top of him, with your boobs jumping up and down, that he knew he couldn’t hold himself any longer. So he brought his hand to the lower part of your stomach, pressing his thumb against your swollen clit. 
That was the breaking point for you. You completely lost control over your body, barely being able to stay still when the waves of pleasure were breaking through you.
“Good girl. You can almost feel me in your stomach, yeah?” Bucky’s palm was feeling every thrust of his dick with the palm of his hand, and it felt fucking insane. “Fu-u-uck, you’re squeezing the shit out of me, ‘m not gonna last longer.” He moaned, losing his rhythm too, while you fell down on his chest, too overwhelmed and overstimulated. 
You felt the last movement of his hips until he froze, moaning into your ear, and emptied himself deeply inside of your spasming pussy. You unconsciously continued to squeeze around his cock, getting every single drop, as if your body was greedy to get more of his load.
“I don’t feel m’ body…” You mumbled, already feeling sleepy, and wrapped your hands around Bucky’s body. 
“Sleep, baby.” The soft material fell on your back, covering your naked bodies. You felt a light kiss on top of your head, and Bucky’s arm hugged your back, holding you closer to him. 
You couldn’t be sure, but right before you drifted to sleep, you heard something that weirdly sounded like “I love you.” 
pt.2
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queer-reader-07 · 6 months
Text
so you know that post that’s like “stop telling people they can’t call themselves FTM, i lived as a girl for years i WAS a girl”?
well there’s a reblog on that post about being really protective of your pre transition self and it just really hit home for me.
kind of without realizing it i have a tendency to refer to pre coming out me as a girl, i use she/her pronouns when i talk about pre coming out me, all that jazz. and it never crossed my mind that that was weird? that it was somehow not normal to talk about pre coming out me as a girl or with she/her pronouns.
because I’M not a girl. my pronouns are they/them. why wouldn’t i refer to younger me the same way?
and i think it really does come down to being so fiercely protective of my younger self. she was such a strong and resilient little girl. she endured far too much bullying that went ignored by teachers. she was so hard on herself, she buried her emotions because she didn’t want to be a problem.
but she had hopes and dreams and goals and for fuck’s sake she WAS going to achieve it all.
and she was a girl. her girlhood was so intrinsic to who she was.
and i don’t see why i should discredit that? why i should have to they/them my past self so that it makes sense to other people.
that little girl is not who i am now. i’ve got healthier relationships with the people in my life, i have so many more amazing and beautiful friendships in my life, i no longer bury my feelings.
but if one thing hasn’t changed it’s that i’m still determined as all hell to achieve my dreams and goals. because i want to make that little girl that i was proud.
her biggest dream in life was to become a scientist, and now i’m here making those dreams come true. i’m here taking calculus and gen chem and signing up for ochem next year because if that’s what it takes, i’m gonna fucking do it.
yes a lot of my dreams and goals now are the same ones i had when i was younger. but knowing that i’m making that little girl, that girl who was hurting and confused why no one cared, proud makes it so much better.
i may not be a girl anymore. i may have grown into a non-binary genderfuck of a person. but the little girl that i was holds so much space in my heart. she is shrouded in love and care and tenderness because why would i hurt her? why would i hurt her more by acting like who she was was a lie?
she was a little girl. and she was amazing. and i want to honor that. i want to protect that.
i’m not really sure where this is going but my point is that it’s not only ok but BEAUTIFUL to be protective of your pre transition self. it’s so valid to talk about your pre transition self in terms of your AGAB. you don’t have to, obviously, but if you do and if that’s what feels right for you? don’t let anyone tell you it’s wrong.
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damiansgoodgirll · 1 month
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can you please write about rhea x reader where rhea is into women let’s pretend!! and reader is her best friend and she doesn’t know if she’s straight or bisexual because like she’s attracted to women but she can’t understand so she’s very naive and she asks rhea for help? it can be fluff and smut i really don’t care! thank you so much if you do this ❤️❤️
rhea ripley x reader
‼️this is based off on some experiences i had lol, mention of sex, sweet rhea, i need her in my life lol, slow burn? kinda long-ish i guess and smut so stay away kids‼️
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“what you mean you don’t know?” rhea asked, sitting on the couch right facing you.
“it means i don’t know!” you kept pacing around and honestly rhea couldn’t handle it anymore.
“it’s a simple question, are you attracted by women the same way you are attracted by men?” she asked, again.
“again, rhea…i don’t know…yes, i guess” you replied.
“okay, let me ask you this…does liv, becky, shayna…i don’t know, beyonce, attract you?” she asked.
“i mean…yes, they’re all attractive women, like damian and finn are handsome men but that doesn’t mean i want to be with them…you know, sexually” you said, avoiding her look.
so this is what it was about.
rhea always knew you were attracted physically both by men and women. she knew, you didn’t. but as far as she can remember you always dated men, you’ve never been with a woman before and she knew this thing was scaring you.
“what is exactly that you don’t know love?” she asked, a little more serious.
“i don’t know if - well - if i like women the same way i like men you know? everytime i see a good looking woman around i wonder what it would feel like dating her you know? like, dating a woman in general because it’s new to me…and i don’t understand, i can’t understand if what i feel is just simple attraction or something more…” you said, giving up and sitting next to her on the couch, facing her “it’s not just about being attracted by them…who wouldn’t be attracted by beyonce?” you joked, making rhea laugh too “but i don’t know if i would like something more the same way i would simply date a man…”
“have you ever tried? have you ever met a woman that your mind, said - fuck , i wanna date her and have sex with her so bad!?” she asked you.
“not really…because i don’t what i’m feeling…it’s all so confusing”
“i know, i’ve been there…and it took time for me too you know…you should start experiencing…meeting new people, meet a woman who can actually help you and have your mind cleared” she said, cringing at her own words.
rhea always had the biggest crush on you but she never said anything, until now at least. she didn’t know what you were feeling and she didn’t want to confuse you but the fact that you just confessed to her that you were “possibly” into women just made it easier for her.
“don’t you think i’m way past my age to experiment? this is something you do when you’re sixteen” you joked.
“absolutely no…i didn’t realise what i liked until i was twenty…it’s never too late love”
“okay…then how would i be able to meet women? how do you do it? gay bars? that would just make me really uncomfortable…i don’t know if…or even what i’m doing…” you asked her desperately.
“gay bars?” she laughed “what kind of shows are you watching?” you looked at her weirdly “yes, gay bars are a thing, and they’re actually very helpful if you just want to have and sex and then never see each other again…it’s not where i would start tho…maybe you can download some meeting app, you know start from there and see where it goes”
“i would love to do that rhea but the problem still remains…i don’t have experience with women! i don’t know where to start or what to do and honestly i don’t see myself opening up to them the same way i’m doing with you right now, i love talking and doing this with you because you’re not judging me and i’ve known you for years and i always knew you wouldn’t judge me for something like this but i don’t know what their intentions are…maybe i should just drop it…” you said, exhausted.
“you shouldn’t drop it…not if it’s making you feel like that, it’s okay and normal to be confused love…” she smiled at you.
“i know that but”
“no buts…you’re confused and i get it, it will take some time maybe for you to get to know you better but i promise you, in the end will be worth it” she said “plus sex with women is more pleasurable than sex with men” she joked, making you blush.
“that’s what i’m talking bout re! how am i supposed to know what it feels like if i never got the chance to experience it?” you said throwing your hands up.
she simply laughed. she didn’t expect you to over react about something like that. being curious? yes, but over reacting? she wasn’t expecting it at all.
“okay…let me ask you this simple question” she said and you nodded “have you ever kissed a girl? like in the past…a friend maybe?”
“never”
“never?”
“no rhea, never…” you said.
“not even as a joke?” she asked again.
“no…that’s probably why i’m also so confused…i told you, i never had any kind of experience…”
“would you like?” she asked.
“to what? kiss a woman?” you sarcastically replied and she nodded.
“kiss me” she smiled and your jaw dropped.
“are you sure?”
“i’m sure…you’re my best friend” how painful it was for her to say that “and since you’ve spent the last hour complaining how you never got to experience that, let me help you”
“won’t this ruin our friendship?” you asked a little worried.
“why would it ruin our friendship? it’s just a kiss…it doesn’t mean anything right?” she said and you nodded.
it means everything to me - she screamed internally.
“okay, you’re right…” you smiled at her as she moved closer to you. her hand gently caressing your cheek making you shiver “don’t be scared” she encouraged you “it’s like you’re kissing a man”
“but it’s not” you whispered “you’re not a man…”
“oh really?” she smirked, making you laugh “hey…if you want to stop or if i’m making you uncomfortable please let me know…it’s the last thing i wanna do” she said and you nodded.
it’s not like she wanted to take advantage of you or the situation - maybe a little - but you’ve been driving her crazy for the past years and now she saw a little hope to have a future with you. she knew she had to play her cards very well otherwise she would fuck up everything and the last thing she wanted to do was to scare you away.
“come closer…” she whispered “it’s okay love” you did as she told and moved closer to her. you were now face to face and having her so close was making you feel things…
“it’s just a kiss” she whispered softly and before you could say something back she laid her lips on yours. it took you a few seconds to reciprocate but you couldn’t deny how good you were feeling. when she felt how positively you were reacting, she deepened the kiss, teasing your lips with her tongue, asking for permission. you definitely didn’t back up. you let her do it, smiling into the kiss. her hands went behind your back, making you come closer to her body while your hands went back into her hair, softly massaging her scalp, making her whimper into your mouth.
you broke the kiss just to catch your breath and in that moment you realised in what kind of weird position you got yourself into.
if it was just a kiss why were you now straddling her lap?
“so?” she asked you, breathing.
“it was good” you smiled.
“yeah? you liked that?”
“yes but…”
“but?”
“i need something” she didn’t even let you finish.
“more?” she smiled.
“more” you nodded.
“do you trust me y/n?” she asked you, making sure you were comfortable.
“i do”
“good…lay on the couch for me beautiful” she said and you did as she told you.
“rhea?”
“mh?”
“are you sure this isn’t going to ruin our friendship? i care too much about you and i don’t want anything to change between us…” you said timidly.
“i promise you, this isn’t changing anything, i’m giving you the experiences you wanted to experience” she smirked and she smiled at you “but if at any point you want me to stop, you need to tell me okay? i don’t want to make you uncomfortable love” you nodded at her words.
she kissed you again, softly, biting your lips and sucking on them, making you shiver. it’s not the first time you’ve been kissed, but it was so different with her that you liked it even more.
“what do you usually like when you’re with men?” she asked softly.
“i-uhm…i don’t - i don’t know…”
“girl” she joked “i need more than that” making you laugh “what do you usually like when you’re having sex with men? there must be something you like the most…”
“i mean…we just have sex…” and in that moment rhea realised how important talking about this was. by the answers you gave her, she understood how you’ve never had this kind of conversations with your previous partners, making her wonder if they even knew what you liked or not. a part of her hated how careless your partners had been with you, they didn’t even take time to learn your body and that was making her mad.
“how does it feel when they first penetrate you?” she asked, your eyes opening to watch her.
“i mean…good? what kind of question is this” you slightly laughed.
“does it hurt? how is your body responding to that?”
“it hurts…but just for a moment, i think it’s normal tho…” you said, not sure of anything.
“yeah, if you’re a virgin…i’m not saying this to make you feel bad but your exes were pretty bad in bed, did they at least took time in getting you wet enough for them?” she couldn’t believe of what she was hearing.
“if they wanted -…”
“if they wanted? i’m so happy you’re single at the moment, please, stay single for a while” she joked again making you chuckle “forget about everything you know…i’m showing you how good sex can actually be” she said and you nodded.
she continued kissing you, not rushing anything. she wanted to take her time with you, making you feel good, showing you how sex was supposed to be. bonus point that you were her crush and she actually wanted to make you her priority.
she slowly began kissing your neck, leaving soft marks and bites. she was observing the way your body was reacting to her, watching if she was making you uncomfortable but when she saw no sign of hesitation, she continued.
“can i remove your top beautiful?” she asked gently and you nodded. she saw you in just your lingerie before but this was a completely different situation. her eyes fell open when she saw the black lacy bra that you were wearing. it was made for you.
she began kissing your breast, leaving marks and bites, making your whole body shiver.
“is it okay if i remove it?” she asked.
“yes” you barely whispered. lucky she was so close to you otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to hear you.
she let your bra fall onto the floor as she slowly teased your nipples, making them hard. she loved the effect she was having on you.
you, on the other hand, were more than confused. you loved everything that she was doing to you, but you realised that maybe you were loving it because it was her who was doing it with you. you always thought she was a beautiful woman but nothing more than that. you’ve never even thought about what it would have been like dating her and having a life with her.
your core pooled at just the idea of what rhea had in mind for you, and, smart as she was, she sensed it.
her soft lips touching and sucking on your nipples, making you moan in pleasure. her tongue traced your soft stomach, prepping it in kisses, making you feel loved.
her hands went to unbutton your pants, tracing them down and discarding them somewhere on the floor.
“rhea?” you softly called her.
“yes?”
“what-what…uhm…how do women do this?” she swore she tried her best not to laugh, not at you but she thought you looked cute when you were curious and, in some ways, innocent “don’t laugh” you scolded her.
“i’m sorry love…see, we have different ways of doing it, i can show you some…” she placed a gentle kiss over your thigh and you nodded.
her hands slowly moved your panties down, her face shocked when she saw how wet you were, and she barely touched you yet. she kept kissing your thighs but you stopped her the moment she was about to kiss your pussy.
“rhea?”
“mh?”
“what…what are you doing?” you whispered. everything was kinda new to you.
“what you mean?” she asked confused.
“i mean…is it normal? like, you know, what you’re about to do…no one ever done it so…i was just wondering” you confessed.
she was shocked.
no one’s ever went down on you and this was making everything even more exciting for her cause she had the opportunity to show you everything new.
“it’s more than normal baby” she reassured you “and i’m so mad that no one ever done this to you…if you were my girl i would spend hours buried in this sweet pussy” she said before gently kissing your clit, making you shiver.
she kept teasing you until you begged her for something more. and she listened to you begging as it was a preyer. she started sucking and licking at your clit, making you arch your back.
silently you were cursing your ex boyfriend for never doing this to you but in some way, you were actually happy that rhea was doing it to you instead.
your moans were filling the room. rhea’s experienced tongue continued the work while her eyes were switching from being close to watch your face.
to her, you were the most beautiful person in the world. especially in that moment.
mouth open, eyes closed, your hands grabbing and holding tightly the pillows on her couch, your legs beginning to shake.
it was pure bliss for you but it was pure bliss for rhea too.
“rhea…i-i think” you couldn’t even speak properly “i’m -…”
“i know princess…i can feel it, just let it go” she whispered against your pussy, making you come right there.
“oh fuck…” you moaned, your legs tightening around her head as you were shaking.
rhea helped you recoveries from your orgasm but didn’t stop there as one of her finger teased your entrance.
before you could say anything she silenced you with a kiss “you taste so sweet baby, you’re like a drug to me…taste yourself on me” and you did as she said. you could taste it on her tongue and it was making you trembling all over again.
“give me another one…” she whispered this time against your neck. her middle finger entering you in a swift move. gently thrusting in and out, her thumb circling your swollen clit. her free hand went to the back of your head, moving you closer to her face, she was making you watch her.
she needed so see how good she was making you feel.
“open your eyes love” she teased “look at me” and so you did.
it was hard keeping your eyes open, specially when she added a second finger inside of you.
“rhea…oh fuck”
“that good uh?” she smirked.
how she wished she could have you naked on her couch every single day.
“please…”
“please what love?”
you don’t know what you were begging her for, you just loved the way she was making you feel and even if it was a little too much, you couldn’t help but ask for more.
“don’t stop…please”
“i don’t plan on doing so…” she smirked keeping her eyes on you. staring at her was making you wetter and you felt you were about to come any second.
“rhea…” you moaned.
your mouth fell open and the your head touching the pillows beneath you. it was a silent scream, your breath sucking it and your eyes squeezing so hard. rhea thought for a moment that she broke you.
she was watching carefully how your body was reacting to the aftermath of your second orgasm. you were shaking and your breath still uneven.
when you opened your eyes again you saw her right in front of you.
“you okay there?”
“more than okay…” you whispered, still catching your breath.
“so…this is just a few ways of how we enjoy sex” she cracked a joke making you laugh.
“there more?”
“many” she whispered against your lips, kissing you softly “but i think it’s enough for today…”
“wait-…”
“is everything okay?” she asked a little worried.
“you didn’t…how can i…?”
she stopped you before you could continue “it’s not about me today, it’s about you. hopefully i’ve helped you a little more with your sexuality, or maybe i’ve confused you a little more…and if you want to learn more on how to please a woman i’ll be happy to help you out” she winked at you “but for today i think it’s enough…you’ve been so good to me, and i thank you so much for trusting me with this”
you took a few minutes to realise just how much care rhea was putting into this. it wasn’t just her helping you out with your sexuality, you realised there was something more. some unspoken words between the two of you. the way she was treating you, with such care and almost…love.
a tear fell from your eyes and rhea noticed too.
“hey…is everything okay?” she worried, thinking that maybe she overstepped too much and made you uneasy.
“yes…” you quickly wiped your tear as you slowly covered yourself with a blanket “it’s just…it’s more than okay…rhea, i can’t help you enough for this”
“you don’t have to-…”
“i have to…because for the first time in my life i’ve felt like someone really cared about me and i loved it…and i know i shouldn’t say this to you because you are my best friend and there’s nothing between us but you really made me feel loved…and i liked it” and in that moment you understood, it was rhea.
it has always been rhea.
the reason you were so comfortable around her, it came naturally. the way she always treated you, making you feel special, in some of her ways. it was her that you wanted, not any woman, but her.
you just didn’t want to admit it to yourself. maybe because you feared her rejection, or maybe because you feared your own rejection of liking women. but it didn’t matter anymore, not when you were feeling like that.
“i really care about you y/n…way more than just a friend” she confessed.
“what?”
“it shocked me that you didn’t realise it before. i’ve never dated other women because the only one i wanted was you” she said, timidly.
“but you’ve been with other women before…”
“nothing lasted tho” she said “not when those women weren’t you…”
“you mean that?”
“i mean everything i said. everything ive done with you tonight…it wasn’t just for a night…i’m here to help you to get to know yourself better, to teach you if you want to learn, i will always be here for you love…we don’t have to rush anything, we can take it slow and see how things go…if you want me” you’ve never seen rhea so vulnerable before and seeing this side of her was making you realise that you didn’t fully know her.
but god how you liked her. how you liked this new side of her, how you liked the protective side of her when you two went out, how she knew how to treat you.
“yes…yes i want this rhea…just…it’s all new for me, can we take things slow?” you hesitated asking her this. she said it wasn’t a problem but you’ve never met someone who was willing to take time in get to fully know you.
“love…come here” she hugged you “i promise you i will be patient with you…i want this new experience to be enjoyable for you, i don’t want to pressure you or anything…i promise you” she kissed you, softly. her hand caressing your cheek.
“okay…” you whispered.
“okay” she smiled against your lips.
maybe, for the first time in your life, you found someone who was really interested in getting to know you better, and you couldn’t believe that the person you were talking about was rhea.
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barbiesmuse · 23 days
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୨୧ TOLERATE IT.
ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ ִֶָsimon riley + fem!reader
summary: in which you decide to meet up with simon, and to your dismay things happen between the two of you. but in the end, he still left. link to part one!
tags: angst, talk of parental issues, arguing-ish, slight fluff, delena puts some sense into simon, and reader is a pushover!!
head barbies announcements: hi barbie!! this is a lot more angsty and slightly sexual so minors dni! there will be one more part of this, but other than that enjoy!! do something kind today! peace and love!
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“I miss you, love.” He missed you? You scoffed and ran a hand down your face. You wanted to ignore it, act like you never saw it. You had a new life. Simon wasn't a part of that new life. You promised yourself a long time ago that it would stay that way. You didn't want to know why he left. You want to forget him completely. But you couldn't. You knew that there would always be a part of you tied to him. Simon squeezed Delena's hand, she wasn't one to be impatient. She was gentle with Simon. She had seen the aftermath of what his father had done to him. It was rough. “Del, what if she doesn't respond,” Simon says, his eyes squeezed shut. He tries to ignore the feeling in his stomach. He felt like a nervous schoolboy texting his crush. Delena simply doesn't respond. She loved her godson to pieces but, she didn't tolerate incompetence. Simon looked up at her, waiting for an answer. Instead of answering, she shot him a tight-lipped grin.
You didn't want to respond, but there was a small part of you that felt like you should. He brought out something good in you. You always saw yourself as deeply flawed, not good enough, too hostile. Simon saw you as a phoenix. Constantly getting back up again, rising from the ashes. Your hands trembled as you picked your phone up, you had made up your mind. You were going to respond. Simon's eyes went from soft to offended in a matter of seconds. He knew what Delena was thinking, and he didn't like it one bit. Simon scoffed and took a sip of the large bottle of Disaronno that sat by his side. Delena grunted in disapproval and snatched the bottle from his hand. Simon wasn't himself anymore when Delena looked into his eyes she saw his father. That was her biggest fear. “Simon. If she doesn't respond you have no right to be angry with her. You left without any explanation. That girl deserved the world, and you could've given it to her. Yet you decided to let your trauma get in the way of something great, for the both of you.” Delena says, she stands up the bottle of alcohol still in her hand. Simon's eyes turn to his cracked phone, his lips curling into a soft smile. He picks up his phone and studies the text. It was simple, too simple for him. He wanted more, but he was never satisfied. Simon Riley could have the entire world in his hands and still be unsatisfied. He lifted his phone and showed Delena, he made sure the shards of glass didn't cut her hand. No matter how angry he was, he was gentle with the people he cared most about.
“I'll always miss you, Si.” You responded. It was simple, but it held weight. You would've done anything for him. The two of you were toxic and the both of you knew it. The toxicity was like a drug. Once you're addicted, you can't stop. No matter how long you're clean, a part of you will always long for that drug. There was a point in time when Simon angered you severely. You had held onto it like a grudge. He would make fun of you in front of his friends and leave you to do all the work around the house, but what hurt the most? He acted as if your love for him was simply a burden. Yet you tolerated it. Delena forced a smile. Thankfully, Simon couldn't see the hidden displeasure on her face. She had no problem with you. However, she did have a problem with Simon hurting you. “She misses me, Del,” Simon said with a genuine smile. His heart was beating again, he was slowly becoming the man he was. Delena's hands tightened around the bottle of alcohol, her sharp red nails digging into her palm. “You two should talk, maybe meet up. Then you can apologize.” Delena says with a smile. Yet it fades as he shakes his head. “She can't know why I left Delena, she'll think I'm a coward,” Simon says as he stands up. He needed to see you. He needs to make things right, you were his everything. Without you, he was an empty shell of a man. Delena simply shakes her head and walks away. She was getting a headache and did not have time for him. Simon grabs his broken phone in his hands and sighs. His breathing was slow and heavy, almost as if he didn't want to. Simon.
“Meet me at the café, please baby.”
Simon was one thing for sure, a master manipulator. He knew the buttons to push and when to push them. He knew you were vulnerable right now. He knew you craved his touch. The smell of cigarettes and amaretto still lingered in your house. His side of the bed still smelled like his forest body wash. He lingered. You hated it.
“Yes. Be there at six.”
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talia talks: this was kinda a filler i guess? the second half of this fic will be out tomorrow morning if uni doesn't kick my ass!
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ro-is-struggling · 2 months
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Breakfast In Bed || Clark Kent x Reader
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Based on THIS and THIS requests
Summary: Being married to a superhero was bound to have some tough times, you knew that well when you accepted Clark's marriage proposal. However, the last few months were becoming too difficult for you as he was having trouble balancing his daily life and his responsibilities as Superman. Intentional or not, he was neglecting you and you were getting tired of waking up alone every morning. But just when you thought you couldn't take it anymore, Clark surprises you with breakfast in bed and a talk that reminds you why you love him so much.
Warnings: a little angst, but mostly fluff, fem!reader
English is not my first language
Word count: 1800
Notes: I don’t know why but I always have the need to write Clark like the most romantic and adorable man in the world, so enjoy! Consider this as my valentine gift to you
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You knew your relationship with Clark would be complicated from the moment you learned about his special abilities. You always knew he was far from ordinary, you just thought his greatness had more mundane roots —his kindness, his empathy, the way he cared about everyone and how he always surprised you by remembering even the smallest details, all the normal things that made you fall in love with him. You'd be lying if you said you weren't surprised to learn the truth, but it also explained a lot —the way he sometimes seemed to be able to be on two sides at the same time, his incredible strength and great sense of hearing. It made you worry about the kinds of dangers he faced every day as Superman, but it also made you love him even more. So you decided that you would stay by his side knowing full well that your relationship would be far from normal. 
Through it all, you managed to make things work. Clark was very good at keeping his identity secret to protect you. And you were great at pretending that his long absences didn't bother you, making him feel better when he was late for your anniversary dinner after a year of marriage. To be honest, it wasn't always that terrible. You did have plenty of moments of blissful intimacy, away from the outside world and the dangers it presented. And it was wonderful. You loved spending quality time with your husband, even if it was just sitting in silence working to meet some deadline for work. Just knowing he was there with you was enough to make you feel happy, loved.
The problem you had now was that he was spending less and less time at home. He came home late every night, exhausted after a long day at work —both as Clark at the Daily Planet and as Superman helping people in danger. And in the mornings you were lucky if you got to have breakfast together. He always tried to make time for you, to spend a romantic evening at a nice restaurant or curl up on the couch to watch a movie, but somehow work always got in the way. If it wasn't Perry calling him to cover an urgent story for the paper, it was a person in danger crying out for Superman. 
It was frustrating because you felt you couldn't say no. Clark would always ask your opinion before doing anything, looking at you with those beautiful blue eyes while assuring you that if you said no, he would stay where he was. But how could you say no when a child in danger cried for their hero or a tragic accident required his presence? There was no way your conscience would let you live with that decision.
You knew his work was important. Both inside and outside the newspaper, he helped people. People in vulnerable situations, people in danger, people who needed to be heard. It was truly noble of him and you admired him for his determination to make the world a better place. That was the biggest reason why you didn't say anything, but the truth was that you missed him.
You missed coming home from work and finding him waiting for you, asking you how your day had been the moment you walked through the front door. You missed going to sleep next to him at night after spending hours sharing work stories over dinner. You missed the warmth of his body wrapping around you in the cold mornings and hearing his voice raspy with sleep wishing you good morning when he still had his eyes closed. In the last few weeks you were lucky if he made it to dinner. Going to sleep alone and waking up alone in the mornings had become your routine. And you hated it.
That morning was no exception. When you opened your eyes you found the left side of the bed empty. Your arms clung tighter to Clark's pillow, inhaling his scent to make you feel less lonely. It was supposed to be his day off, but you wouldn't be surprised if Perry had called him last minute or some catastrophe had gotten him out of bed early. You had barely seen him last night. Clark had arrived late when you were already asleep and you only managed to mumble his name in the dark and hug him when he lay down next to you, and now he wasn't next to you when you woke up either. The day had barely begun and you already wanted it to end.
Letting out a long sigh, you decided it would be best to get up and do something to distract your mind. Clark wasn't there and it wasn't going to do your mental health any good to stay in bed crying all morning. So you dragged your feet lazily to the bathroom, going about your morning routine before leaving the room to prepare breakfast.
Only the moment you opened the door you were assaulted by the smell of freshly brewed coffee. You frowned in confusion, wondering if perhaps you had mistakenly left the coffee maker running all night. However, when you entered the kitchen you discovered that it was no mistake. Standing in front of the stove was Clark, flipping pancakes and cutting up some fruit while humming to himself. 
You couldn't help but smile as you watched him move. He still had his pajama pants on and his hair was a mess. You took advantage of the fact that his back was turned to you to admire him silently as a warm and fuzzy feeling spread through you. The sadness disappeared from your system as you watched him carefully stack the pancakes, taking his time to decorate them with little pieces of fruit just the way you liked. He looked adorable, bent over the counter as he arranged breakfast on a tray, ready to be taken to bed. You wanted to run over and hug him, but before you could move from the doorway Clark turned, finally sensing your presence.
"What are you doing there? You're supposed to be sleeping." he said and you could swear he sounded disappointed to see you there. "I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed."
You walked into the kitchen. Just a couple of steps and you were in front of him, wrapping your arms around his naked torso and resting your head on his chest as you hugged him. Clark reciprocated right away, planting a kiss on the top of your head as he breathed in the scent of your hair. 
"I'm sorry," you pouted, lifting your head from his chest to look at him. "We can go back to bed if you want."
Clark answered you with a kiss, his lips caressing yours gently. It was a quick kiss, but it still managed to take your breath away. 
"What's the occasion?" You asked as you broke away, stealing a strawberry from the pancakes and popping it into your mouth. It wasn't your anniversary or your birthday and it wasn't Valentine's Day, so you wondered what had prompted Clark to make such a gesture to you. 
"I wanted to apologize... I know I haven't been around much and I know it's not easy for you, even though you are too nice to tell me."
"Clark..." You wanted to intervene, but he silenced you by resting his index finger on your lips.
"I need you to know that you're important to me, more important than anything else." Clark slid his hand up to your cheek, his fingers caressing your skin gently. He gave you a warm smile, losing himself for a moment in the bright light of your eyes. "Do you remember what I told you the day I asked you to marry me? I said with these powers I could see the beauty of the universe, the flowers blooming on the other side of the planet or dying stars exploding in brilliant light thousands of miles away, and yet, the day I meet you I knew I had to be with you because for the first time in my life the only thing in the universe worth looking at was right there in front of me. That is still true. It will always be true, angel."
"Damn it, smallville!" You let out a giggle, feeling the tears building up in your eyes as you remembered that day —one of the happiest days of your life. You hated the way he always knew exactly what to say to make you feel better, it made being mad at him really hard.
Clark smiled at you, his blue eyes shining with love in them as he gently wiped away a tear that had escaped and rolled down your cheek. "You're the most important thing in my life and I'm sorry I haven't been showing it these past months. I promise you I'll be better in the future. I'll try harder to make this work, to make us work."
"I know this is hard for you too, baby." You said, letting your hands fall from his shoulders to his chest. You knew Clark wasn't neglecting you on purpose. You knew it hurt him as much as it hurt you to be away or to miss a date you had been planning for a long time. Balancing his normal life and his superhero life had always been one of his biggest challenges. 
"I know you love me and I know you care about me, you don't have to doubt that. I knew things were going to be difficult sometimes the day I said yes. I understand how important being Superman is to you, it is who you are and I love you for that too. I just... miss you sometimes, but I'm sure we're going to find a way to work this out. We always do."
"I swear if I could love you more I would explode." Clark smiled at you before taking your face in his hands again and pressing his lips together. You couldn't help but smile into the kiss, feeling that familiar warmth fill you inside. It was the comforting warmth of love, of the happiness it gave you to be in Clark's arms after so much loneliness.
That was the Clark you missed so much. The loving husband who wrapped his arms around you and kissed you until his lips were tired. The one who showered you with compliments until you were flustered. The one who didn't hesitate to show you how much he loved you with sweet words or cute details. It had been so long since you had the chance to be alone like that, sharing such an intimate moment, that you almost forgot how good it felt when Clark kissed you or how safe you felt when he put his arms around you. It was a beautiful feeling that you could only describe as the touch of true love. You never wanted to forget it, you were willing to do anything not to lose it.
"I love you too." You murmured against Clark's lips, giving him a quick peck before pulling away from him. "Now, about that breakfast..."
Clark let out a chuckle. "Go back to bed, I'll be there in a second."
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AITA for planning to go to a convention without my partner even though we usually go together?
My partner (21 NB) and I usually always attend different conventions around our area together. We like to dress up in costumes, get pics with celebrity guests, and go to panels and meet-ups and all the fun convention activities together. The problem is.... this past year has been really hard for them mental health wise, and it has kind of sucked the fun out of going to conventions for both of us.
They have diagnosed ADHD and anxiety/depression, as well as what we think is autism, but they are undiagnosed. If I thought they were having a good time attending conventions, I would worry less, but the crowds of people and the noise overstimulates them and they've told me that they feel unsettled with that that many strangers around. They've had a range of minor to major panic attacks at each of the conventions that we've attended for the past year or so.
I usually try to be really supportive of their mental health. They have come a long, long way from the deep depression they were in back in high school, and they have worked hard to get their ADHD recognized and properly medicated, and I'm really proud of them. I have anxiety myself, so I feel like I understand at least a little bit of what they are typically dealing with, in a small way.
However, I also absolutely adore going to conventions. I convince myself every morning to get up and go to work by telling myself that "I'm working to fund my next cosplay," or whatever. A little self-motivation, you know. Costumes and conventions are my biggest hobby. Though I attend multiple conventions, every one is different in its own way, so it feels like it only comes once a year.
And this is where I might be a bit of an AH. I know my partner can't control their mental health, but I feel like I miss out on a lot of the convention whenever they have a panic attack or get overstimulated and I have to sit with them until they feel better. And yes, I know that sounds really bad, and I should care about my partner's well-being more than seeing a panel or a celebrity guest, but conventions are my "once a year getaway" from reality and typical life and all that. I don't really take any other vacations, and I don't really get to interact with any other nerds/geeks/weebs/lovely fandom people except at conventions because my anxiety is mostly social anxiety, and talking to people is hard and social media is intimidating.
So.... I did some thinking, and there are two, maybe three conventions that I'm planning to attend this next year without my partner. I'm not planning on telling them that I'm going without them, I was just planning on not mentioning it at all. I think if I tell them outright that I'm going without them, they'll take it personally and I don't want to upset them. If they ask for a reason that we're not going, I can just say it's financial, which isn't exactly a lie, because I did take a pay cut at work not too long ago. And my partner doesn't work due to their mental health, so I always fund or costumes and tickets and hotels. But I don't want to give that reason outright either, because I don't want to lie unless I have to.
There are two or three other conventions that we go to yearly that we'll still go to together, so I feel like they'll still get to attend and we'll get to go together, but I'll also have my "alone time" at the other conventions and get to do things I don't usually get to do, like late-night events.
If it's worth anything, my therapist supports my idea, because she thinks it'll force me out of my shell a little bit, and force me to stop using my partner as a "social crutch" if I go alone, making it like exposure therapy for my social anxiety.
So tumblr... AITA for wanting to go to a couple of conventions without my partner due to their mental health and my fear of missing out?
What are these acronyms?
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bwabys-scenarios · 3 months
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Hey! What physical and personality traits do you think kurapika will like on a person? And what are his major dealbreakers?
What Kurapika likes in a partner, and his dealbreakers HCs
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Physical traits
so, I’m of the opinion that Kurapika had a preference for big/chubby women. He likes a soft, plump partner with curves, preferably large hips to make having children easier. Of course, Kurapika isn’t the type to only care about appearance so he’s willing to date anyone regardless of how they look, but he does like his chubby women.
Being soft is one of his biggest musts. He wants to be able to bury himself into you after a stressful day, to snuggle your squishy parts!
He also likes a woman that takes care of herself, wearing cute clothes and always smelling nice. Though, Kurapika struggles with depression so he’s not going to fault you for not being able to always look good. He’ll be there to take care of you when you need it, just like you take care of him.
Personality traits/things he likes
Kurapika prefers someone who is soft and sweet, that can be patient with him. He often misses dates and can be a bit cold when he’s upset, so a forgiving s/o would also be good. He doesn’t want you to be a pushover though, he’s not looking for a mother or for a punching bag, he just needs some softness in his life.
He likes someone who is kind to others, who helps those in need without expecting something in return. He also likes the motherly type, he wants to have children one day, after all.
Kurapika does enjoy someone he can have a deep conversation with, and enjoys intellectual debates now and then.
One of the biggest things he wants in a relationship is security. He wants to know that you aren’t going anywhere and that you’ll love him no matter what. He’s terrified of losing you, so he’ll need lots of care and reassurance.
He desperately needs affection and touch. He’s absolutely touch starved, so lots of hugs and snuggles will help keep him calm and happy.
Dealbreakers
He does not like others that are unkind and harsh towards others or themselves. He hates people that resort to yelling in every argument. Kurapika is a problem solver, so if you only look for a fight and not a solution, you’ll stress him out.
If you try to get him to stop looking for the scarlet eyes, he will lose interest in you almost immediately. He’s willing to hear you out on potentially stopping his pursuit of the Phantom Troupe, but will never stop searching for the scarlet eyes.
Acting like you’ll break up with him constantly is an immediate dealbreaker. He’s already anxious about losing you, so to have you dangle the relationship over his head would drive him crazy. He loves you, almost to a fault, so it would break his heart to see you treat his love like something that could easily be tossed away.
People that dislike/hate animals aren’t the type for him. He loves animals, as all good hunters do, and wouldn’t be able to live in a home where his partner hated animals so much.
If you treat him like a child or someone to be pitied he will leave. His past is sad, but he doesn’t need to be infantilized over it. He’s a grown man, and while he does appreciate some comfort, he doesn’t like being treated like something to be pitied.
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thegnomelord · 4 months
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Seeing people be nerds in your inbox is so fun because I too!! A nerd who loves marine biology as a whole, used to bring an encyclopedia to school everyday in my early days.
But something else I really like are dragons and tbh it's got me thinking
What about a reader who's just a huge fucking nerd, like he joins TF 141 as a new recruit and the first time he sets his eyes on Price he's low-key jittering because!! Whaoh dragon!! Irl!!!! So cool!!!
"wh-whoah dragon"
".. yeah, got a problem lad?"
*rips off sleeve, revealing a dragon tattoo and furiously pointing at it* "I love.. dragon"
Like homie's too excited to realize how fucking weird it is to just, when you meet your new superior you just show him that you have a tattoo of his species.
Imagine asking him dragon related questions to see if the mythology books he collected when he was little said how dragons r was true.
So sorry this was like too silly or comedic or like unserious 😔😔 I just think dragons r cool
-🐙
Okay this is so cute because that would 1000000% be me like I was the biggest dragon nerd and still am.
But like:
Price doesn't know what your problem is. From the way you constantly look at him he ends up thinking you're some kind of fetishist or just see him an animal in the zoo, meant to be stared and pointed at.
He doesn't like the way he can feel your eyes watching his every move, every little twitch of his wing or move of his muscles would have his brain tingling with the sensation of your eyes on him. It was unnerving, and with all the shite on his plate Price didn't need to have you ogling him.
He isn't the least bit pleased when he calls you to his office, the butt of his cigar burning an angry red as he puffs out a cloud of smoke. "What's going on with you lad?"
It's not a question. It's a demand, vibrant blue eyes staring you down.
"I just... really like dragons." You admit, feeling like a teen that got caught with a playboy mag by your parents.
"Uh, huh." He grunts, leans against his desk. "Care to elaborate about your little obsession."
You can feel heat burn at your cheeks at his words, embarrassment gnawing on your gut. "It's nothing like that cap! I just, dragons are cool alright? And I just-" You attempt to explain to him how you just really like dragons, from when you were a little boy you loved learning all you could.
And Price listens to you, continuing to smoke his cigar while you ramble on and on, and he can't hide the fact that a small part of him is a little bit intrigued by the sheer passion in your voice.
"That so?" Price finally cuts off your rambling, a low rumble rolling in his throat, his inner dragon preening at the way you look at him, pupils dilated, heat obvious on your scent.
His wing spreads out a bit, making him look bigger, the bulge in his pants obvious. "Then how about I give you a hands on education?"
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nor-4 · 4 months
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I'm so tired of smut rn, i just wanna be loved.
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Anakin is the type of man to caress you every time he has. You are like a very beautiful artifact on a museum, he feel like a criminal for touching you.
He NEVER EVER make you lift a finger. You have a huge bag? It can be the heaviest bag that has ever known to man kind he will still happily carry it for you.
His favorite hobby is to hear you blab about your day, your struggles, the things that irritates you, person you hate, your stomach ache, head ache, tooth ache almost everything. He loves gossips especially coming from you.
He will make up every hour and day that he lost without being your side. He loves being with you all the time, but he is worrying about you being annoyed by him.
Spending time making you laugh feels like a fever dream for him. It's already been a year since you said yes to him asking to be your boyfriend he is still inlove as ever, even develop a deeper emotion of love.
The night you said yes to him being yours he have this promise to only kiss you on your knees to your foot until he gain your permission to kiss your lips.
Anakin is a man of his words. When he says he will marry you with the biggest diamond rock in the world he will, but that's too easy for him. Tell him to die and he will die proudly knowing he is addressed as your man.
Flowers every morning. He can patiently take care of flowers just for you to have every morning you wake up.
Ani is never a type of man to argue with you. But if he do he knows it's better to not clash with your anger, even apologize in the end. And of course he will find the right solutions to your problems.
He have the biggestt jealousy issue, but he knows how to control it. Just because he have jealousy issue doesn't mean he is the toxic type of it, he will rather find out the reason of your communication with other people than get jealous without any reason.
Plus when he is jealous he will let you know the reason why and he will let you decide on what you will do.
For you well he knows you too well. He knows what make you jealous, angry, sad, disappointed most likely everything. So he knows better to keep out of making you feel anything related to what I mentioned.
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