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therenlover · 3 months

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Put Me Back In It (I Would Do It Again) Chapter Five: Doubt Comes In

Pairings: Raphael/Tav, Haarlep/Tav, past Astarion/Tav, blink and you'll miss it Karlach/Wyll

Word Count: 7,300~

Synopsis: An unexpected encounter with old friends sends Tav's reality into a spiral, making her question everything she believes to be true. Meanwhile, Astarion learns the truth.

Rating: M (+18)

Warnings: Semi-Realistic Depictions of Trauma Responses, Panic Attacks, and PTSD

Tags: Memory Loss, Emotional Manipulation, Panic Attacks, Epiphanys, Reunions,

You can find this fic on AO3 Here or find the other finished chapters on Tumblr Here

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Things changed slowly and all at once.

After their night in the snow, Raphael was around more. He invited Tav to his chair at the fireplace to read her poetry and found himself sitting at the dinner table when she took her meals. Not every meal, but at first some and then many and then most. After a while, the gifts came; a golden fiddle for her to learn to play, a wardrobe filled to the brim with lavish dresses, crates and crates of romance novels for her to peruse. Quills and brushes and crates of canvas, paint, and ink appeared in his office bearing small tags with her name on them in Raphael’s signature red script. She had choice. She had the sweet illusion of freedom and endless ways to pass the time.

Things were not always happy. Raphael was a man who raged. He required a gentle hand and a cautious approach. The more time Tav spent with him the more aware she became of just what would swing his moods one way or another. Still, she adapted. She overcame. She built a new life where bending gently towards his whims was as easy as breathing. After a while, he didn’t need to rage anymore. One well-placed glare or tut would put Tav back on the right track.

Sex was sex as it always was and always would be. Perhaps a bit monotonous and a little more infrequent than it had been in the past, but Tav didn’t mind. She liked that it wasn’t her purpose anymore. There was a world outside of Raphael’s bed and that was enough to keep her happy to please him when she was in it.

Time passed quicker now. There were still no days, no nights, no months to track, but Tav’s life was filled with options; hobbies to pick up, books to read, someone to talk to. She was living. Sometimes that required sacrifices or compromises, yes, but it was better than what she’d known. She relished in every moment she had a choice to make, no matter how small.

The small choice in front of her now, though, was beginning to grate at even her saintly patience.

“Can I please set my arms down now, Raphael,” Tav groaned.

The devil shook his head, stroking his chin slightly as he admired the velvet pinned together on her form. He let his fingers pull the ocean-blue fabric taut against her arm before placing another pin to hold it. “Patience, little mouse.”

“I’ve had patience! I’ve been standing here like… forever,”

“Trust me, if I desired to have you model for me forever it would be much longer and far more agonizing,” Raphael warned. “Now turn, just a few more adjustments and I’ll set you free,” Tav knew enough about the tone of his voice to stop pressing. She turned on the small crate she was using as a platform, letting Raphael access the back of the dress. He let out a pleased hum as his pinching and pinning and marking continued.

Tav’s eyes danced along the wooden mannequins that crowded the room around them, taking in the veritable mess of dresses she’d already been fitted for. Silks and cottons and velvets and satins and furs sat in hefty bolts resting on every open surface, even leaning up against the precious bookcase making the lower-placed books completely inaccessible until the fabrics were moved. “Remind me again why I need a whole new wardrobe?”

A stray pin suck her as she shifted and Raphael set a large palm on her waist, holding her in place. “Because you don’t currently have anything appropriate for the outing I have planned,”

She sucked in a breath and held it for a moment before letting it out. “Will you tell me where we’re going yet?”

“That depends, will it stop your ceaseless questioning and get you to keep still?” Raphael asked, placing one last pin before turning Tav to face him. Finally, her posture slipped and her arms came down to her sides as she took in his irritated form. She chewed her lip and stared at the floor.

It wasn’t the first time she’d accompanied Raphael outside the House of Hope. Since their evening in the snow they had taken a few scattered trips, mostly to his suite in Sharess’ Caress or fields throughout Faerun, but nothing that required any specific outfits, especially not a whole new closet filled with them. Best of all, even Haarlep had been included in the fittings, though they had only been fitted for one new dress and tunic compared to her dozens of ensembles. Excitement drowned out the uncertainty. This was big: a family outing. A chance to be gone from the House of Hope for more than just one night.

Tav itched with the anticipation of it. That only made holding still so much more difficult.

Without waiting for a response, Raphael sighed. “If you truly must know, my brother Zephor has invited me to celebrate the birth of his first son. These things are rather… significant to us devils. It is incredibly important that we give the right impression.”

“And the dresses you’ve already had made for me wouldn’t do that?” Tav couldn’t help but laugh a bit at the ridiculousness of it.

“They’d assume you’re a concubine,” Raphael replied matter-of-factly, “I can’t have that.”

Her brow furrowed. “Isn’t that technically what I am? Well, if Haarlep and I could be considered a harem, that is. Are archdevils supposed to have more than two concubines? Wait- no, I don’t want to know. Forget I asked.” Despite the glibness of it all, it gave Tav a lot to consider. It seemed incredibly important to Raphael to not only bring her to such a significant event but also for her to be perceived as something other than a concubine by what she assumed were very important players in the great game of chess set in Avernus. But why? She didn’t dare ask. She was worried about what the answer might mean.

“What matters is that you will be presented alongside Haarlep as a protected member of my home. The great Hero of Faerun will be known throughout the Hells as someone loyal to me and me alone. You can handle that, can’t you little mouse?” Raphael’s eyes burned deep orange as he placed his hands on his hips. Tav nodded without needing to think. “Good. Now, let me finish this damned thing… and stop moving, or else,” The threat was more playful than anything, especially when he paired it with a slight pinch to Tav’s ass, but she was quick to retake her position as he made his final touches to her gown.

It had to be perfect, after all, if she was finally going to meet his family.

———

“Not what you thought it would be?” Haarlep seemed to hold back laughter as they asked.

Tav didn’t even dignify their question with a response as she watched the roomful of quietly mingling infernals shift around her.

No, she hadn’t quite expected this.

Waiting for Zephor’s celebration had been a new type of torture in and of itself.

There hadn’t been a clear timeline about exactly when they would be leaving, so Tav sat in a state of constant anticipation, waiting for Raphael to finally announce their departure. It was nice to have something to look forward to but so damn difficult to wait for it to actually happen. In the time leading up to the party, her usual nightmares barely plagued her. Instead, she was visited by dreams of strange, fantastical masquerades where a shadowy Raphael brought her body close to his in an endless, spinning dance.

The pale elf was there too. He was always there, somewhere.

At least he wasn’t taking a leading role in these new dreams, unlike the usual nightmares. He just tended to lurk in dark corners until she caught his crimson gaze, disappearing into the crowd the moment she looked away. It was more disconcerting than frightening. She was just glad he was leaving her alone, even just for the moment. As long as she could forget those eyes when she woke up she had something to be grateful for.

In the end, Tav didn’t have many sleeps between her final dress fittings and their sudden departure. One day Zephor’s emissaries simply walked up to the dining table with a brand new mirror for the portal room and suddenly they were walking through to the other side within the hour, impeccably dressed and groomed and prepared for just about anything except for what awaited her.

If the House of Hope was a castle in Avernus, Zephor’s home was a palace.

Chandeliers of gold studded with shimmering arrays of precious stones hung from great, vaulted ceilings of basalt in halls that stretched farther than Tav could even see, lighting the way for thousands of infernal party guests as they wandered about. It was more people than she could ever remember seeing in one place. Even in the thin silk of her dress, with nearly her whole back exposed by the plunging fabric, Tav felt smothered by the sheer proximity to so many bodies. She clung to Raphael’s arm like a lifeline as he greeted two lithe succubi clad in red, draping fabric and golden chains.

Haarlep’s jaw tightened slightly at the sight of them, but Tav didn’t mention it. She was trying too hard not to pass out.

After a few pleasantries that she entirely missed in her nausea, Raphael gingerly removed himself from her grasp and walked off into the crowd without so much as a goodbye, leaving her stunned at Haarlep’s side. A short, very fuzzy time later she was standing off at the wall with the incubus sipping on a glass of something that might have passed for juice without its effervescence, trying to press herself as close to the bricks as physically possible.

So no, she hadn’t expected the day to go as it had.

Thankfully Haarlep was merciful, sheltering her from most of the room with their carefully angled wingspan as they chuckled. “To your credit, you’re doing much better than I expected you to,” Their flowing emerald robes smelled faintly of the herbal soap of the baths, and it served to ground Tav slightly in the moment, but her head still spun with every breath. “When I went to my first gala before I even held a place in Mephistopheles’ court I ended up so raging drunk that, once I was done deeply embarrassing myself and my family name, I sat in a corner of a guest dormitory for 3 days straight until I sobered up,”

Tav let out an airy laugh. “Really?”

“Cross my heart,” Haarlep promised

Somehow, knowing she wasn’t alone eased the anxiety just enough for her to stand up away from the wall without feeling like she was about to fall right back into it. “So, is Raphael going to come back? Or is this a thing,” She wiggled her fingers through the air for emphasis.

“The bastard will be back eventually, hopefully soon, but yes, it’s a… thing,” Haarlep groaned, straightening the ornate silver tassels that covered their long, drooping sleeves. “He’s spending time with the inner circle of his family before all the guests arrive and the party truly begins. No one who doesn’t share a blood connection with the noble family is allowed within the sacred chambers, not even the closest of concubines or allies. There’s too much room for spying and deception. I would know,” Haarlep grinned, leaning their arm up against the wall and running their clawed fingers through their hair as their fleshy wings flexed and tightened. Despite the fact that they wore Raphael's face like their own, the incubus seemed to emulate the devil a little extra at the moment. “Sometimes it shocks me that you don’t understand infernal culture. You’ve fit so well into the house that I often forget you haven’t been there forever,”

The compliment was blatant and Tav was happy to take it.

Raphael was never one to give compliments, especially when they weren’t doubly due. Haarlep didn’t tend to be much better. So to hear her place was so cemented in their lives? To know the honor it must be to be chosen to accompany them to such a large, important event? She was hungry to know more, desperate to master her etiquette and show them just how grateful she was to be out of the house in a place like this.

Her fear of the crowd was tamped down a bit by her determination. The last thing she needed was for Raphael to come back and see her acting like a mess. She needed to make him proud. She didn’t know what she’d do if she didn’t, but she’d definitely never be allowed to leave the house like this again.

That couldn’t be allowed to happen.

“So how does all of this work?” Tav asked, crossing her arms and letting a bit of her drink slosh over the edge of her strange, stemless goblet. “Does everybody just stand around and talk for a few days? Or are there things we have to do while we’re here?” Around her, the crowd ebbed and flowed through the hall as even more guests seemed to arrive through the mirror.

“I haven’t been to many birth celebrations, but if I recall correctly they follow a similar calendar to other major infernal celebrations. There will be one day of rest as the invited parties gather,” Haarlep paused momentarily, “that’s today if you hadn’t picked that up. Then, once everyone has settled in there will be nine days of festivities. Usually, each day has some sort of main event, like ritual combat or musical performances dedicated to the guest of honor, in this case the baby, and every day begins and ends with a great feast. Then on the eleventh day, everyone returns home, the most distant acquaintances first and the closest family last. Easy, right?”

Tav let herself loosen up, rolling her shoulders slightly as she unclenched her jaw. “Yeah, easy,” Her mind was a million miles away.

No wonder Raphael had insisted on so many outfits.

Eleven whole days away from the House of Hope. Eleven days filled with music and drinking and mingling and entertainment. It was everything she had been dreaming of and more, and yet… why was she still so worried? It must have been a lack of practice. Yes! It must be. She had never been exceedingly personable, most of her friendships were made accidentally or forged in horrific circumstances that she’d rather not repeat, and now that she’d spent so much time with nobody besides Raphael and Haarlep to talk to her social skills were much more than rusty. Of course being faced with what felt like the entire population of Avernus without any guidebook or guidance would set her on edge.

Yeah. That had to be it.

Haarlep’s eyes raked over her and she could tell they saw right through her brave facade. “Are you alright? Did you have another nightmare?” They asked, “You don’t have to lie to me, Raphael isn’t here.” It was rare to see true concern from the incubus, but the way their wing curled closer around her told her all she needed to know.

“No, no, I’m fine. No nightmares, at least not the usual kind. I just… I don’t know,” Tav took another sip of her drink. Her chest heaved against the loose silk nestled between her breasts, heartbeat drowning out the crowd in her ears. She felt smothered in the ambient heat. “I don’t know! I don’t know any of this. I don’t know how to talk to these people. I can barely remember who I’m supposed to be, Haarlep. What if I do something wrong? What if I embarrass you? What if Raphael sends me back home and never lets me come with him again to anything? What if he sends me down with the other souls again? I can’t go back there Haarlep. Please don’t make me go back,” Words fell from her manic lips like a mad woman.

Her hands were shaking. She couldn’t manage to keep them still.

“Tav?”

The incubus’ voice sounded like they were underwater, a million worlds away.

“Tav.”

Where was she again? It was so loud and bright and-

“Tav!” Haarlep gripped her shoulders nearly hard enough to bruise. “Come back to me,”

The room stopped spinning. When had it started spinning?

“What?”

Haarlep let out a heavy breath. “Nothing, Tav,”

They gave her a reassuring squeeze before letting go of her shoulder.

Neither of them spoke for a while, not wanting to acknowledge whatever had just happened. Tav’s face burned with embarrassment. When she finally did speak, it was incredibly quiet in the general roar of the room. “I’m sorry. I embarrassed us.”

“Don’t be,” Haarlep replied before she had a chance to say more. Tav reached a hand out to them, intertwining their fingers and squeezing tightly before letting them go, and the incubus smiled. “Do you want to know a secret? You couldn’t have embarrassed us even if you tried. We outrank almost every infernal being in this room right now.”

The relief was palpable as Tav’s eyes scanned the room. “Really?”

“Would I lie to you about something this serious?” They asked, eyebrows raised.

“Yes,” Tav replied dryly.

“Touché,” Haarlep chuckled, “I am being honest though, cross my heart,”

She finished the rest of her goblet in one gulp, relishing in the way the fizz burned down her throat. It dulled the worst of the shaking that threatened to take her to the wall again and all the way down to the floor this time. “How can you tell we're above them?”

Haarlep shifted to stand beside her, wrapping their wing around her conspiratorially as they leaned their face close. “Watch the crowd pass by. Pay close attention to their clothes, the way they act, the way they speak,”

Around them, the great masses paid no mind to their little huddle, instead shifting towards great tables of punches and mead barrels and luscious fruits that Tav had never seen before. It was a dark and monotonous crowd. Infernal creatures sidestepped tieflings in their doublets of charcoal, slate, and onyx. Then, as the crowd shifted, a flash of bright color appeared. Opposite Tav and huddled around a small card table was a group of humanoid women— some elvish and drow, but mostly human from the look of them— dressed in similar chains and red dresses to those the succubi had been wearing. All at once she could see outliers everywhere: Another drow in crimson leaning in a doorway, a tall tiefling woman in a dress as green as Haarlep’s robes, a gnome plucking at a lute in a doublet the hue of summer dandelions…

“Colors,” Tav muttered.

The incubus beamed. “Bravo. We use colors at events like this to quickly determine what sort of company we’re in,”

She gazed at the party with new eyes, scanning the masses for flashes of brilliant hue under the candlelight. “Most of them are in black or grey,”

“Those are the infernal working class, for lack of a better term,” Haarlep replied, gesturing with a clawed hand. “They are invited here for the sake of having as many attendees as possible to serve as a show of the host’s popularity and social outreach. If you don’t belong to a great profession or family in the hells, that’s as far as you’ll ever go unless you learn an important trade, in which case you’ll be permitted to wear yellow at events like this, or you become a concubine in a devil’s home,”

Tav pointed covertly towards the group of women. “I assume concubines wear red?”

“Yes. Major archdevils, hosts, and their families will wear purple, like Raphael is wearing today, and servants will wear white or cream to be easily identified for assistance by party guests.”

She hummed softly as she took it in, smoothing down the fabric at her hips. She was suddenly aware of how the sapphire fabric glistened in the lights like billions of tiny gemstones sat hidden in the threads. “Haarlep?”

“Hm?”

“If we’re basically concubines, why aren’t we wearing red?” Tav asked.

“Well,” they straightened up, “That’s because we aren’t concubines the same way these others are. Raphael respects me far too much for that. Concubines can be openly enjoyed at events like this, and traded between masters without a second thought,” There was a shade of discomfort in their prideful tone. Not as much as she had felt earlier but enough to know the subject had been a slightly sore one at one time, even if it didn’t bother them as much anymore. “No, I wear green to signify that I am a defender of Raphael’s home. If someone wears green they are willing to kill or die for their master, and they accompany them as a bodyguard or diplomat. I am not his equal or his family, but I am much more than a hired servant or whore.”

Tav could almost hear their teeth grind as they clenched their jaw. It was rare for Haarlep to get shaken like this. She didn’t think it suited him. Desperate to change the subject and help them the same way they’d calmed her, she asked, “So what does blue mean? Is it like a soul bargain thing, announcing to everyone that Raphael tamed the big bad Hero of Faerun?” Her voice was a teasing, lilting thing as she looked over the crowd for another speck of blue, but it was notably absent from the crowd. The incubus stayed quiet. “Haarlep?”

“It’s hard to explain,” they sighed.

“Is it a bad thing?”

“No. How do I explain this in a way you’ll understand?” Haarlep steepled their fingers against their mouth. “Blue is a color of distinguished honor for someone who may not be family by infernal blood or pact but is considered protected and dearly cherished. Devils do not cherish by nature. They covet. To be cherished is something that has to be earned, and it is a position respected above most other things. Even Zariel and her lot wouldn’t dare touch their greatest enemy at a party like this if they were dressed in blue.” Their dark eyes caught Tav’s, and for a second she could almost swear that they were jealous. “Raphael wore blue for a while when he was just coming into his power, thanks to being one of Mephistopheles’ favorite sons at the time. It took the target off his back while he was just gaining power, letting him reach maturity without having to worry about assassins and repercussions. His… his mother was given the distinction of wearing blue as well, for bearing a chosen son,”

Her chest felt tight again as Haarlep retracted their wings back to their usual resting position, fiddling again with the drape of their great sleeves as they looked anywhere but at her.

Raphael's words from her fittings rang in her ears. “They’d assume you’re a concubine. I can’t have that.”

She had needed a whole new wardrobe. Almost every dress he’d had brought in for her before was some shade of black or white or red, and he refused to let her be seen as something other than what she was. But what was that? A trophy? A soul? A partner?

A wife?

Tav went to take another strong drink from her cup only to realize it was already empty. The floor swam as a sea of shadows danced around her.

She should be appreciative that he hadn’t let her walk out of that portal like a lamb wrapped for market. She should be proud to be seen at Raphael’s side in a place of honor. She should be happy. It seemed there were a lot of things Tav should have been that night that she wasn’t.

That list included drunk.

“Was this alcoholic?” She asked Haarlep, raising her glass.

They shrugged. “Probably,”

“Do you mind grabbing me another one if it is? Or- fuck it. Grab me something that’s definitely alcoholic and bring one for yourself too,” she said. They took the cup without needing much more encouragement. “I think we could both do with embarrassing ourselves tonight, just a little,”

The strange tenseness sitting in Haarlep’s shoulders loosened a bit. “What the boss doesn’t know…”

“The boss can’t kill us for; I know. Now go, before he gets back,” She gave the incubus her best smile as they sauntered away.

As soon as their back was turned and they'd disappeared into the crowd she was pressed to the wall again, breaths coming in great heaves as she wrapped her arms around her own body.

She felt mummified. Every inch of her skin seemed to stretch taut over her too-big skeleton, wrapping her up into a crumbling, shaky coffin of her own flesh. What the fuck was wrong with her? She hadn’t felt like this for so long, since the first horrid days of her stay in the House of Hope where she tried so desperately to escape with her life. Everything was just… wrong, like some sort of wobbling carnival mirror was reflecting the truth of her life back at her for the first time in a while. Had she really lost her dignity so easily? Sold out to the devil after a few quick fucks and a slap on the wrist? Once she would have rather died at his hand than let him own her soul. Now she was standing at a party celebrating the birth of his nephew wearing the equivalent of a giant sign dedicating her life to him.

The worst part was that she was almost certain that she loved him.

Tav didn’t know when apathy and attraction had turned into fondness, or when that fondness had turned into something more, but she knew it was there, driving her desperately to please the devil that owned her.

Was this how Haarlep felt for all of these years; this itching guilty madness? Desperately serving the man they loved knowing there was a near zero chance that he would ever reciprocate?

Because Raphael couldn’t reciprocate. He wouldn’t.

She felt horrifically exposed as she sucked in lungfuls of thick, sulphuric air. Eyes watched her from all directions. There was nowhere to hide, nowhere to compose herself, and she desperately needed to compose herself or something very bad was going to happen. What? She didn’t know, but she did know that outcome needed to be avoided at all costs.

Red flashed in Tav’s periphery somewhere out in the crowd and her heart thumped a rapid drumbeat again. She couldn't find it as soon as she blinked.

It must be the pale elf. He had followed her here. Found her here.

She pushed herself away from the wall as her chest heaved and she joined the fray, bodies pressing against her on every side. She needed to find him. She needed to ask him who he was and why he was haunting her. It felt like if she just got a good look at him again in the clear candlelight it would somehow give her the answers she needed about who she was and why she'd given in to Raphael so easily. Shoving towards the red in the distance, she pushed and pushed and pushed, eyes wild, until-

“Soldier?”

The red was right there in front of her, but no pale elf waited on the other side. Instead, a ghost clad in green leather was leaning up against a tall candlestand. Every screaming swirling thought in Tav’s mind went quiet all at once as she took in the sight of the tiefling.

“Karlach?”

“Soldier!”

Before Tav could react she was being brought into the tightest hug she could remember.

Karlach was warm, but not in the same way Raphael and Haarlep were. She burned with a sharp, stinging heat that made Tav’s skin tingle at the contact, but it was so familiar; like coming home. Her tears were evaporating before they could even drip down her cheeks.

A voice called out from the crowd as another body emerged, holding two mugs of something frothy. “Karlach, where did you- Tav?”

The mugs crashed to the floor, shattering against the stone.

Tav’s voice was a creak as the tiefling eased up. “Wyll,” The former warlock’s face was an open book as she tripped over her feet to reach him, pulling him into his own hug. He looked different now, more golden baubles adorned his hair and his beard was fuller with a few small flecks of white, but he still smiled with the radiance of a thousand suns. “Gods, Wyll,” A hysterical laugh escaped her, “Karlach, you’re really here!”

“We’re really here,” Wyll repeated, clasping her forearms in his broad hands. "A Baldurian noble needed a trusted escort to be here, and we just so happened to be the only ones available in the area,"

“Where else would we be?” Karlach slung an arm over Tav’s shoulder, “All the coolest people are in Avernus these days, haven’t you heard?”

They’d both been in Avernus all this time?

Something in Tav’s quivering heart broke ever so slightly. They’d been so close to her for all this time. Why had they never come for her? Almost all of the resentment that had been festering during her time in the House of Hope dissolved now that she was actually seeing her companions in the flesh, replaced with desperate relief. It didn’t matter that they’d failed her before. She couldn't care less. What mattered was that they were there now. She was Tav again.

Slowly, a crack in the door appeared; the slightest chance that she could leave the hells alive with the help of her friends. The hard question now was whether she really wanted to…

Wyll had always been perceptive, and that hadn’t changed in the time since she’d seen him last. “Are you alright, Tav? I’m going to be entirely honest, you look like shit,” His stone eye whirred softly as he looked over her trembling body.

“I’m just so glad to see you guys again. I don’t even know what to say,”

“And we’re glad to see you! Gods, it’s been ages!” Karlach squeezed Tav to her side, long dark braids running down her back. Had the tiefling’s braids always been that long or was that a new development? “I can’t say I’m shocked that Astarion got an invitation, or that he dressed you up in blue today, traditions be damned. He always did have a flare for the dramatic and a plan for everything. Is his lordliship around?” She scanned the room, raising on to her toes to gain a bit better vantage for a moment.

Tav paused. “Astarion?” The name sounded so oddly familiar. It was right on the tip of her tongue…

Karlach let out a groan, untangling herself from the former hero. Wyll, though, just crossed his arms over his chest as Tav laughed nervously. “Don’t tell me that useless bloodsucker sent you all the way to Avernus alone to work out his business for him… did he?” Concern laced her every word. “Has he been taking care of you, Soldier?”

“Karlach, I don’t think-” Wyll cut in, but Tav was quick to set both of them straight.

“You’re not making any sense. Who’s Astarion?” She asked.

“Only the bastard who’s been sequestering you away from us for the last six odd years!” Karlach laughed. It was a tight, nervous thing. “Wyll? Can you back me up here?”

But Wyll didn’t speak. He was too fixated on Tav’s rapidly failing knees. If he had been less perceptive she would have collapsed clean to the floor, but he was able to catch her on the way down, fanning her with a hand as he shouted something she couldn’t quite discern up to his partner.

Bloodsucker. The question of who this mystery vampire was hung over Tav like a plague. Her head felt like it could split in two every time she tried to think of what that damned name reminded her of. Those piercing crimson eyes were the only things that flashed into her mind, and the agony of the nightmares that came with them. Why? She couldn’t say.

That was just the cherry on top of the true horror, though.

She started to babble wildly. The crowd was forgotten entirely as she clung to Wyll like a lifeline. “Six years?” She gasped low. “Six years? I’ve been stuck down here for six whole years?”

“Talk to me, Tav,” his voice was an anchor. “Where did he take you? Where have you been?” Wyll was rarely a ruthless man to those who did not deserve his special brand of justice, but when he murmured under his breath “I’m going to kill that bastard,” Tav believed him. The thin strangeness in his face all made so much more sense now knowing he had grown so much further into his adulthood than when she’d seen him last.

Six years…

It was like waking from a nightmare, only to realize that was a dream and the real nightmare had been her life all along.

“Wyll,” Karlach called. She sounded almost nervous as she backed up to the swordsman.

Tav didn’t even have time to answer before the great shadow of wings obscured the lights above.

“I suggest you let my master’s property go before we begin to have problems, Blade of Avernus,” Haarlep hissed, crushing a full glass of fizzing liquid in their clawed fist. Their voice was ice cold. In all of the time she’d known Haarlep, Tav had never seen them so mad. For the first time in years, she feared the incubus she would have trusted with her life not ten minutes before.

Their words sent a jolt up her spine. Property? Was that all they saw her as? Something to be possessed? It was almost unbelievable, but only almost. A sliver of her, deep down, had feared that was the case since she’d first met the infernal pair. That didn’t make the confirmation any easier, though. It speared right through to the core of her.

Karlach was up in arms in an instant. She pulled her sword from the back of her leathers and stood in front of the pair on the floor. There was no fear in her eyes even as the crowd began to murmur and part around them. “Motherfucker! Raphael is involved in all of this?”

Haarlep’s wings flared. “I don’t have time for your questions.” Their eyes shifted to the floor, face an unreadable mask. “Tav, come here,”

She didn’t move. She didn’t breathe. She just froze in the moment as everyone around her tugged at the little loose string at the edge of her reality. Tug, tug, tug, and off it went! Unraveling itself in real-time before her eyes. A crowd was gathering now. Flashes of emerald and forest and chartreuse crept closer in the sea of dark, undulating bodies. If they all pounced at once they would drown her there on the floor of that party and maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad way to go. Karlach took another step back towards her and Wyll.

Karlach and Wyll; Her friends, her deserters, her empty home.

They would surely die here, defending their little sapphire in the mine, their precious hero of Faerun. Raphael would come and he’d eat them alive.

“Tav,” Haarlep tried again. “Now.”

Tav was not brave. She had not been brave for a very, very long time. But selfless? Selfless was something she could be. She could take a shaky stand on legs that so desperately wanted to fail her and walk right back into hell so long as it meant they didn’t go with her. Suffering had become her close companion somewhere in her life. She could bear the weight of that old friend a little while longer.

For them, she could.

“Let me go, Wyll,”

His arms slackened around her. “What? No, Tav, we’re getting you out of here,”

“Wyll,” She smiled. “It’s ok. Let me go,”

And he did. He understood there wasn't any way to convince her otherwise. She’d made her choice, the only one that mattered in the end anyway, and who was he to stop her?

Karlach was protesting as Wyll helped Tav stand but she didn't hear it. Pure instinct had already taken over, adrenaline and spite driving every movement she made. Haarlep was happy to receive her. At least they looked happy.

“We’re going home?” She asked, voice flat.

The incubus nodded. “Raphael is already waiting for us. He’s incredibly displeased,” Something about their tone told her she wasn’t the only one he was displeased with.

Wyll had to hold Karlach back to keep her from lunging. She was shouting curses at the winged beast as they ushered Tav away. She couldn’t handle the sight, and so she turned away from them without a goodbye.

They deserved better than that, she knew, but she had nothing worth offering that they’d want to accept. It was better this way, for all of them. A horrible part of her wished they’d never crossed paths at all but it was inevitable, wasn’t it? At least now it could be over. Tav would surely never be allowed out of the House of Hope again, or probably not for the next six years at least, or maybe six thousand more than that. She only hoped that they never again laid eyes on the shameful shell of a hero she’d become.

Haarlep guided the pair of them through the crowd, shielding her from the world on their silent march towards the gallows. With every heavy footfall, she felt weaker.

She just wanted to go home.

“Only a little further now,” Their voice was sickeningly soft. “I’ve got you.”

Tav scoffed. “You shouldn’t talk to Raphael’s property that way.”

The incubus winced as they approached the mirror, followed by thousands of hungry, peering eyes. “Tav, you know-”

“Just take me home,”

The last thing Tav thought of before stepping through the mirror was the misplaced shock on Karlach’s face when Haarlep had mentioned Raphael. It was funny to see her so surprised. She’d sold her soul right in front of everyone, after all, to keep the crown. What a silly, impossible thing thing to forget. So impossible, and yet she couldn’t even recall the moment herself.

Then the portal pulled her in and the world went black.

———

Ancunin Manor tended to be mostly quiet in the daylight hours.

The spawn knew better than to leave their chambers without proper protective attire and most didn’t even bother with that. The master liked to bask, after all, and there was no guarantee that every window and door in the castle wouldn’t be wide open to let as much light in as possible. To avoid accidentally burning to a crisp most of them just napped or spent their time sequestered away with a book until the sunset came.

That meant Astarion almost didn’t get up from his chair when he heard the knock on the great wooden doors to the library at close to noon.

He was deeply engrossed in his book and assumed it was nothing more than a bird slamming into the bricks outside until the knocks started up again more frantic this time. He set his book facedown with a sigh. “Yes?”

“Lord Ancunin?” A voice squeaked on the other side.

Astarion rolled his eyes for the benefit of absolutely no one but himself. “Get on with it, Johan. I’m reading.”

“You have a visitor and she isn’t taking no for an answer,”

Now that was curious.

The vampire stood from his chair, finding one of the mirrors hung on the wall between bookshelves to primp in slightly. He hadn’t scheduled any appointments. It was supposed to be a day of rest and relaxation in the busy winter season once he’d finally caught up on planning for the solstice rituals and parties. Who in their right mind would just waltz up to a noble's door without an invitation and demand an audience at a time like this? Something tugged uncomfortably in his chest.

Astarion knew exactly who would do something like that.

“Alright,” he huffed, adjusting the ruffled collar of his shirt. “Send her in,”

When Johan opened the door Astarion knew he wouldn’t find what he was waiting for. He hadn’t let himself hope. Still, he was pleasantly surprised to see Shadowheart waiting beside his cowering spawn, her traveling cloak still on and soaked from the snow.

“Shadowheart!” He called. Crossing the room, he opened his arms to her. “It’s been ages. What has it been, 5 years since we slaughtered Orin together? Have you finally come to get the grand tour?”

The cleric lowered her hood revealing furious fire in her green eyes. “No time for a tour today, Astarion. This is about Tav,”

Johan winced slightly at the sound of her name.

Astarion’s welcoming smile fell. “I’m afraid I don’t have much to say about that. I haven’t seen Tav since the Netherbrain fell.” He stopped a few feet before her, maintaining enough distance to make sure he wouldn’t do anything rash if he lost his temper. He wasn’t that man anymore. He would remove the temptation before it gave him a chance to react.

Despite everything he told himself, his throat still itched when Shadowheart closed the space between them. “Still a liar, I see,” She laughed.

The room chilled suddenly, the fire in the hearth getting suspiciously dim as Astarion’s eyes flickered in the low light.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m not going to deal with you,” Shadowheart threw her hands up, backing up from the vampire and tossing a small red envelope at his slippered feet. “I came here as a courtesy, Astarion, because I made the mistake of believing you were better than this. Wyll and Karlach are coming for you. They found Tav.”

And just like that the building rage disappeared. The fireplace extinguished itself, plunging the room into relative darkness beside the rays of midday sunlight that filtered in from the skylight above. “Where?”

“Don’t play dumb!” Her platinum braid swung wildly as she pointed an accusatory finger at the vampire. “I knew you’d changed after you completed the ritual, but Raphael? Really? That’s low even for you.”

Astarion looked through her like she wasn’t even there. “Is she alive?” His voice was trembling. The lord was not accustomed to feeling fear, he swore when the netherbrain fell that he would never be afraid again, and yet here he was, gripping the back of his reading chair to stay upright as he doubled over with nausea. “Shadowheart.” He looked up at her and found fear in her eyes too, wet and all too mortal. “I need you to tell me if she’s alive,”

“You didn’t do it?”

“Shadowheart!”

She nodded and that was all he needed.

“Johan!” Astarion snapped, pushing past Shadowheart, “I need you to contact the Devil’s Fee. Tell Helsik I’m calling in my favor,” He was halfway down the hall before he turned back to find Shadowheart still standing in the doorway. “Are you coming or not?” The cleric was quick to follow then as he made a beeline for the armory.

He had failed Tav once. If he had even the slightest chance of righting that wrong, he couldn’t hesitate, even if that meant killing the devil himself.

It was the least he could do to repay her.

-----------

(A/N: Thank you so much for making it so far into this insanity!!! This chapter was insanely difficult for me to write, but it was more important for me to get words on the page than to get them perfect. I hope it reads at least semi-well and the insanity seemed purposeful, because it was lol, Tav is having maybe a lil bit of a breakdown.

Thank you also to every single beautiful human who has left a comment, bookmark, kudos, or even took the time to just read my fic. I suffered a traumatic brain injury in late 2022 and I genuinely thought I'd never be able to write fics I people enjoyed again. I was terrified to start writing only to realize I wasn't any good anymore. I couldn't be more grateful to you all for proving me wrong. You've given me back my voice, my art, and my passion in a way I never expected to have them again.

Again, I hope you enjoyed the chapter <3 I can't wait to keep sharing this story with you.)

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#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 haarlep #bg3 raphael #bg3 tav #bg3 astarion #bg3 #fanfiction #bg3 karlach #bg3 wyll #bg3 shadowheart #raphael/tav #raphael/haarlep #astarion/tav #haarlep/tav

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honeyblair · 2 years

Text

i'm bored so here's a list of yuri on ice headcanons that i have concerning attachments to

yuuri studied music in college. doesn't matter if he majored in it or minored with a more "realistic" major but i refuse to believe that music hasn't played a part in his life (also there's a lot of evidence that he's a pianist.)

victor is an avid literature enjoyer. in the blu ray version of the show the scene with victor's home is changed to have literally wall to wall bookshelves filled to the brim. you cannot tell me that man hasn't read every single one backwards and forwards.

when phichit and yuuri met in detroit, phichit immediately attached himself to yuuri. at first, yuuri probably didn't understand phichit's extroverted insistence. but eventually phichit drew yuuri out of his shell and got him to actually socialize like a normal college student.

to add on to the last one, yuuri actually was pretty well known at his college but he himself thought he was invisible. little did he know, he was actually pretty popular but many people thought he was intimidating or scary to approach when, in reality, yuuri thought that of everyone else.

yuuri arrived in the united states already fluent in english. it is really REALLY common in the skating world that camps and coaches teach you english as a second language if you're competing internationally. also, it would make sense for the katsuki's to know at least a little english as they run a one-of-a-kind inn in a town popular with tourists.

yuuri never really was into anime as a child/teenager but was formally introduced when phichit forced him to watch a handful of shows after learning his friend had little anime knowledge. yuuri responded well and took interest to various soundtracks and anime composers.

phichit introduced yuuri to vocaloid and yuuri's life has not been the same since. phichit almost regrets it as yuuri became obsessed with the technology behind the vocaloid software but is glad he's obsessed with the music aspect rather than the anime girls.

yuuri has attended a hatsune miku concert. do i really need to elaborate.

yuuri hated wearing warm and super bright colors for the longest time. if it wasn't blue, purple or black, get that shit out of here. victor slowly opened him up to the idea of other colors though.

victor isn't fond of teenagers. i mean, i think we all know how close he was to snapping at yurio multiple times throughout the show. he's fake nice to their faces but is probably fucking tired of teenage angst.

victor's had some sort of major injury in his career. it's been alluded to in the show but i seriously wouldn't be surprised with his work ethic and constant training since he was a teenager.

yurio knew of yuuri before the sochi gpf. maybe he was even a fan of yuuri's.... but he'd rather be six feet under than admit it to his face.

victor and yuuri don't get married until a few years after their barcelona engagement. while i feel like victor would want to rush into marriage, yuuri would most defiantly push back and need more time to adjust to the new state of their relationship. they went from strangers to fiancés in the span of only 8 months after all.

yuuri and victor don't stay in russia for long. depending on in-universe laws and stuff, same sex marriage might not be legal in russia and, to be honest, i don't know if i could see yuuri or victor happy in russia for the rest of their lives.

yurio absolutely hates the faux parental roles yuuri and victor have adopted and pisses them off on purpose. he grows to appreciate it eventually and values their commitment to him even while he was an angsty dick of a teenager.

yurio has a handful of bands he listens to in secret and would murder anyone who found out. these bands consist of my chemical romance, panic at the disco and other emo classics.

victor eventually takes on more students in addition to yuuri and quickly realizes that he has no idea how to properly coach younger skaters because how are you supposed to train children when your only coaching experience is the unprofessional methods (literally just flirting) you used on the man you crushed on

#yuri on ice #yoi #god help me #yes most of these will be in my fic #and yes i have thought about yuuri being into vocaloid a lot #his favorite producer would be kikuo fight me

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thequibblah · 3 years

Note

directors cut for WTRF? 🥺👉👈 not biased at all obviously just objective third party asking for a directors cut hmmm hmmmmm

literally how could u do this every other word in that fic is an easter egg i can't shut up about..... bestie u are about to have regrets

one thing u should know is that 90% of things in this fic have real-world equivalents and its not even like....... hidden equivalents. serie primo = serie a, for instance. this trend is going to continue and i won't apologise <3

fun fact i named the bar the Bar and the drinks after shapes because i was too lazy to come up with something actually clever

this bit

I’m grinning to myself by the time she approaches my table.

was a very intentional fakeout and if you read this and thought "she" would be lily, feel free to sue me for emotional damages

the biggest conundrum of this AU was, how are jily not going to have met in school when magic exists? the solution was, of course, having multiple magic schools. but i couldn't let one of them have hogwarts, that didn't seem fair. i know i did sort of let lily have it..... but i felt more comfortable making hogwarts a university so there was a legit reason why james wasn't there and in gryffindor (if he'd gone he absolutely would have been)

once solved, i did the fun thing of naming them! ottaline gambol's was easy, i just scrolled through the list of ministers for magic and picked a progressive one. peverell hall was a whim, made all the funnier when lily's reaction is:

Much was made at Otty’s — one of the more progressive magical schools, named for one of the more progressive Ministers of Magic — of schools like Peverell Hall and St. George’s. The latter, I know, is chock-full of pureblooded elite. Peverell Hall is supposed to be slightly better, but still.

dang, it's gonna be funny if she ever finds out james is a descendant of the guy it's named after

fun fact, i included this because peter's question was a real thought i had when reading bond and free, your inspiring writing knows no limits:

The first thing you conjure in Walking Wombat is a yellow quill... “Why yellow?” Peter asked. Eddie gave him a strange look. “Why not?”

i realised i'd put jily in the same conundrum they had in tis the fucking season here:

It’s only then that I remember she’s just bought us drinks. I turn back to my triangle. “Oh, shit.” I suppose I can pawn it off on one of the others.

...but of course the resolution is rather different, and i do so enjoy a james with no filter (aka default james)

I briefly lose control of my brain and my tongue. “Is it too soon to say I’m in love with you?”

by the way, no-filter james will be a theme. wild things sure do run fast but not as fast as this boy runs his mouth!

also, another interesting challenge here was making sure james has a reason to be the way he is in AU. i love playing around with james's childhood/background and seeing how that affects his character while (hopefully!) staying true to who he is. i did that in ttfs by having him move around a lot and not meet the marauders until after the flashback timeline, which is why he's less of a git — he doesn't have the level of comfort in a social setting that canon james has with hogwarts, which is basically his playground from day 2 of first year lol

here, james was probably a fkn nightmare all through school, but of course he gets a big ego check when his quidditch career is derailed. i imagine his years in italy as a continuation of that humility lesson.

I will fully admit I used to be a cocky prick. This is what comes of being a kid who grew up with everything. But one useful thing that the whole fiasco four years ago taught me is humility. I’ve learned how to ask nicely for another chance.

and so much of writing him in wtrf is juggling that typical confidence with the insecurity/fear of losing something he's invested so much in (and has seen slip away before). it's really new to me, because typically i give lily uncertain life circumstances, but i suppose it's both of them in this AU.

the car thing was... i swear didn't start out as smutty, it was purely because i wanted a way to establish lily as muggleborn in a world where the connotations of not having magical parents is very different. more to come on that!

also, come to think of it, by this metric...

I’m now in dangerous territory, since that adds another impressive action to her running tally.

...i think james is already in love with her LOL

this bit:

The street is considered indecent and the downstairs hallway would have our landlady come running at once, so if it pleases Your Honour, we would recommend the sitting room sofa.

...was actually because in draft one lily was a lawyer, but then it was funny enough that i didn't want to take it out, but NOW i realise it makes it sound a little like she's addressing james as your honour, which.... hm. but anyway, we move on

Marc Bolan begs us to get it on through the stereo, vocalising my thoughts exactly.

the song here was initially "you shook me" (h/t @keepingupwithpotters) but i chickened out because zeppelin is SO horny dfjkhgkjs

also, it gave me so much joy to read everyone reacting to lily thinking about her ex (the general vibe was "who the fuck is this guy!!! ew!!!!") — rest assured (or, unassured??) that he has a part to play in all this. anyway, this is one of my fave lines:

He’s just a person, and there’s such a relief in sleeping with James and not the myth of a guy.

because as any come together reader knows....

Just James. Just James. It was never just James.

wtrf lily will learn!

literally the whole world knows i'm obsessed with needle drops that have no subtlety at all, but this one...

We just laugh, tangled together in a sweaty heap, as “Heaven Is in the Back Seat of My Cadillac” plays through the car’s speakers. “On the nose, isn’t it?” James says, sitting up.

...was pure luck, because i was looking up the top hits on the uk singles chart for the week(ish) this scene takes place in so that i could find a song that would realistically play on the radio, saw this, and was like omg the stars really do align

i feel like the thing i enjoy most about writing romance is the importance i get to place in noticing/looking/observing (and sometimes, not noticing!). it's just such a powerful but simple writerly tool, and god knows i am obsessed with pithy descriptions anyway, so this bit i am especially happy with:

James is already waiting, leaning against the car with his hands in his pockets. I feel as though I’m seeing him for the first time, the faint light of the flickering streetlamp catching him in profile: the strong slope of his nose, the hard line of his jaw, the curve of his smile. He studies the facade of our building with open curiosity, and I wonder what he’s looking for.

(one can only imagine james's train of thought in this moment. perhaps "ah. here lives the future love of my life"?)

“Thanks,” she tacks on at the end. I tip my head to one side in confusion. “For what?” “For, I don’t know. Being nice.” She laughs awkwardly. “I don’t do this very much.”

it wouldn't be a quibblah original tee em without some discourse to come about the nature of romantic/sexual relationships, would it? one thing i enjoy about this AU ("one thing" i say as if this isn't the billionth thing in a list) is that i get to write a romantic lily who's squaring that romanticism with what she perceives as the culture of the times. (this is a bit of a staple in all my characterisations of lily, but it is not often paired with casual sex, the complication of all complications!)

oh this bit literally wrote itself like i didn't even pause to think just vomited it out:

In the morning — and it must be early still — the sun streams through Lily’s sorry excuses for curtains with aggression that cannot be ignored. I crack open an eye to find myself sprawled out across her bed, quite literally spread-eagled. She’s attached to my side like a barnacle. Or a very pretty barnacle, anyway.

i'm especially proud of james's voice in this story. i don't often write first-person fic and i was worried how it'd turn out, but i think james as a character/narrator typically colours his own 3rd-person narration so strongly that it ended up a smoother transition than i'd feared!

also i just. i can't resist throwing in comic relief and i hope that this whole segment was a gentle enough preparation for the awkwardness that followed LOL

All of a sudden, the balcony door bursts open. I nearly drop the mug. “What the—” Mary pokes her head around the corner, sporting a righteous smile. “Morning, handsome.” Over her shoulder she shouts, “He’s on the balcony!” I blink. There’s a sound from inside the flat, as if something very large has just been dropped. Then a swear. “Oh, shit,” I say, realisation dawning, “you weren’t looking for me, were you? It’s so loud out here—” Mary cups a hand around her mouth and stage-whispers, “Lily was frantic.” She’s quite violently yanked back, and Lily herself appears in the doorway, slightly out of breath. “Should’ve checked the balcony first,” she says, and closes the door before Mary can insert herself into the space again. “Hi,” I say, which is agreed-upon best practice for greeting a woman you’ve just had fantastic sex with and ideally would like to have sex with again.

to this day i don't know what lily dropped. let's hope it wasn't expensive!

Captained the under-17 English squad at the World Cup some years back, Serie Primo’s lead goal-scorer of last year… Only an injury in what should’ve been his first season at Puddlemere mars his record. I wince reading about it and comparing it to a heap of press clippings. James Potter was hurt, and Puddlemere didn’t fancy paying for him not to play, so they shipped him off to Milan.

(you cannot imagine how much pointed interrogation of my brother it took to gather this intel.) i constantly worry that i've got dates or timelines wrong somehow — you might notice i tweaked under-17, which used to be under-19 until i realised that made no sense (even though in terms of its career importance i would much preferred it to have been u-19.... anyway). i also found out that u-17 football squads don't actually have captains but i said fuck it on that count.

but obviously i started writing this AU for the sports possibilities, only to discover i'm going to have to interfere a great deal with the Timeline (you shall see in future instalments).

god i really went through the whole fic. like i reread the whole thing to do this. here u go clare jfbghjfd

#this has no right to be this long #wtrf #clareee75 #ask me #director's cuts

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stormra · 4 years

Note

Hiya! I was wondering if you could give your headcannons on how the Matsuno brothers would react towards someone finally reciprocating the same feelings/developing a crush on them? Take your time!

❝ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

— type : headcanons

— characters : the matsuno brothers

Thank you for being my first headcanon request! I know that I’m allowed to post other works without anyone requesting them, but I felt as if it would be more rewarding to wait until someone finally did. Now I’ll let myself write headcanons, especially since I’ve finally caught up on matchups. It also took me a while to figure out how I want to format headcanons. I care too much about what my blog looks like. So, without further ado, let’s get into it! Thank you for being patient!

Osomatsu : Although he’s a huge pervert, your confession will leave him absolutely winded. He has spent his entire life begging for a partner—with you as the target he’s been dreaming of—but with this sudden opportunity placed before him, he doesn’t know what to do... and is he really cut out to date someone as awesome as you? Wishing for a partner is immensely different than actually having one. Rather than immediately accepting the confession, he’ll hesitate before quickly realizing that he shouldn’t think, deciding that acting fast is probably the better option as compared to standing and worrying. He doesn’t want to lose you, after all! He’ll jump at you with open arms as if miraculously brought to life by your smile, nuzzling the living Hell out of your head. Wow, wow! A partner! How awesome! His thoughts won’t be very profound... nor will his speech. He’s pretty puppy-like in disposition. Despite being a bit worried about the future, though, he’s elated—especially because it’s you who likes him, not some rando or Totoko. I headcanon that his “crush” on her is just his version of coping with the fact he has nothing he truly came up with on his own. So, crushing on someone gives him the same sensations related to finally having his own idenity... but that’s a thought for another post. Anyways, your confession leaves him undeniably euphoric, really. He won’t exactly tell you that he feels the same, but it’s kinda obvious in the way he begs to kiss your cheek and tell his brothers about your confession.

I’ll be real with you; he’ll definitely want to show you off and the fact that you confessed first. You best prepare yourself for that.

Karamatsu : Did you say “lots of blubbering?” “Many futile attempts to hide his obvious tears?” Like Osomatsu, Karamatsu simply cannot believe someone as elegant and as beautiful as you returns his cheesy affections. It’s no secret that he’s a very emotional, guarded man who hides the truth behind painfully obvious facades of cringy confidence and things of that nature. Upon hearing your words, he‘ll stop whatever he’s doing and stare at you as if you single handedly fought off a horde of angry people, lips agape and eyes wider than saucers with tears already forming in the corners. He did not just hear you say that! By the gods! He definitely tries to mask his joy with those obnoxiously cringy phrases he loves, calling you his muse while claiming he knew this would happen—who can resist such a man as he? Yet... when push comes to shove, that persona of his is faltering immediately as soon as you laugh or even smile at his attempt to play it cool. I can tell you that much. As his tears finally fall, overwhelmed by just how euphoric you make him feel, he’ll let you comfort him like the man-baby he is. He’s just so overwhelmed that you, the light of his life, finally feels the same about such a lowly NEET like himself! Although crying like an infant, he’ll try and confess his own feelings in an attempt to win your affection further. What a dork!

Choromatsu : Don’t expect a dramatic reaction from this guy. On the surface, he’ll manage to stifle his joy and surprise well enough to smile at you, timidly (yet effectively) expressing himself in return. Great! Romance! However, on the inside, he’s indefinitely a panicked mess, stressed and worried about what he should say and do from this point onward. Dating? Who is she? He doesn’t know her—especially anything having to do with “wooing” you. Prior to your confession, he hardly flirted with you at all! He’ll definitely crack from time to time during his own confession, stuttering every so often, incapable of looking into your eyes for any extended period of time. If you want to see his composure fall, just kiss him, hug him, or try to hold his hand. Even quicker than Karamatsu’s facade, his unbothered approach will quickly melt into that whimpering mess we’re familiar with. Once he’s true to himself, though, he might even calm down and effectively convey himself without tripping over his words. You can expect to see a very prominent reddish hue on his cheeks. It compliments him greatly!

I’d also like to mention that he’s definitely the most obvious when it comes to his crush on you. I honestly don’t make the rules; I only enforce them!

Ichimatsu : This one is a bit tricky. While it’s easy to assume he wouldn’t have much of a reaction to your confession, it’s more accurate to say that his reaction would be the most negative out of his brethren. No, he won’t shoot you down, but he won’t say yes either. He’ll instead look at you in complete disbelief, confined to silence for a moment, before uttering that he doesn’t believe you and that you’re just trying to make him look like an idiot. If I’m being realistic, you’d probably have to space your confession out over the span of two days in order to reach the best results. You need to give him some time to sit and think through the thought of dating someone. Even though he adores you and your presence a lot—more than anything else—he views himself as garbage; someone unfit for love. He never would have imagined that his tiny crush would lead to this. If you confess to him and give him a day to think, however, you’ll find that Ichimatsu really is just misunderstood and touch-starved, desperate to find the love and support he has been dreaming of. He needs someone in his life who is willing to be patient with him and his struggles. The fact you are willing to wait for his indecisiveness to pass shows just how reliable you can be for him within a relationship. He’ll return to you the next day and wordlessly embrace you, ready to try something outside of his comfort zone. As long as it’s you he’ll be dating, he doesn’t really mind!

Jyushimatsu : Yeah... you can anticipate a lot of smiles and a lot of jumping up and down with flappy arms. He’ll definitely find your confession to be the most exciting thing ever, but it’s important to remember that Jyushimatsu is very, very incapable of keeping still and expressing himself with words (due to a lame vocabulary), so it’s advised to be patient with him and read his behaviors closely. Instead of expressing his own feelings with words, he’ll excitedly lunge at you and wrap you in his strong arms, absolutely ecstatic over the fact that his crush reciprocates his feelings. Internally, his mind is one with his outward demeanor, fueled by the ideas of what the two of you can do together now that he knows you feel the same. Again, while he may not express his love with words, the way in which he actively tries to kiss your cheek is a pretty solid indicator that he feels the same. Honestly, his reaction to being confessed to isn’t too different from his typical way of expressing himself to you. Prior to your confession, he always greeted you with a huge embrace! Now that he knows you feel the same, though, expect a lot of kisses and a lot of super tight hugs. You probably won’t get a confession out of him at all; you’ll have to ask him if he truly wants to start a relationship or not. Communication is always important. Although it may be hard to communicate with someone as exitable as him, it’s very important and he’ll appreciate it immensely! Trust me.

Todomatsu : Honestly, compared to the rest of his brothers, this guy’s reaction ought to be the most casual and, dare I say it, assertive of the bunch. His siblings are all painfully starved from social interaction and proper enactments of adulthood, so it’s no surprise that they’ll react like children when finally given the opportunities they have been dreaming of for years and years. Todomatsu, however, has grown to be a more social man when posed aside his extremely toxic brothers, constantly hanging out with girl after girl and guy after guy in order to climb to the top of his sextuplet home life. It’s no surprise that he’s the most unbothered by your confession of love. Upon hearing your confession, he’ll blush a bit while placing a smirk on his cheeks, dead set on teasing the Hell out of you. Being a tease is his specialty, after all. Even if he’s a bit embarrassed on the outside, he’s ready to assert whatever dominance he can. It’s cute, honestly, but that doesn’t mean he won’t comment on your confession or crush.

“Wow, Y/N-chan has a crush on me? How sweet!”

“Finally coming around, huh? You’re so cute.”

However, deep inside, peering around his two-faced nature and desire to be the best of his brothers, he’s shocked with your confession, feeling like a pampered prince who has just touched the most lavish cushion ever crafted by man. Finally! His efforts have been noted! You can expect to receive a hug or a kiss as he admits to liking you back. While it may not be the most extravagant reaction, your upcoming relationship will make up for it. I promise!

#headcanon #headcanons #osomatsu san headcanons #ososan headcanons #osomatsu san #ososan #osomatsu san content

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dreamlover31 · 3 years

Text

Broken Promises

Hello my dearies, thank you for all of your comments and support throughout this comeback of mine lol

And now here's the third and final installment of my mini drama...my apologies since this took me a while to post this

Tagging: @madpanda75 @dreila03 @laceybellerain @melsquared79 @southern-magnolia @glimmerglittergirl @xemopeachx @misssirenlove @tropes-and-tales @thatesqcrush @sweetsummertime99 @imjustreallynosy @amirightcounselor @rampantmuses @youreverycolor

Two pink lines...what should have been caused for great joy, instead has brought upon nothing but anguish and despair. After the incident at the apartment, you had packed up your belongings and moved into your sister’s place in Soho; leaving behind the man who had all but decimated your heart. Though the time was brief, being held hostage by your fiance’s mistress was a real wake up call, the wool that had been pulled over your eyes that day; and it revealed a very ugly truth, that Rafael Barba was nothing more than a vile creature who had taken your love for granted and threw it back in your face, however, when you revealed the pregnancy it was merely a ploy to get Sophie to drop her guard so that he could take the opportunity to take her out of the equation.

A few days after the incident, you had started feeling nauseous and had some weird cravings for pickles and garlic knots, and that was when the gears turned in your head; so one day when your sister was at work, you trekked down to the bodega down the street from her apartment where you had purchased 3 different types of pregnancy tests. Upon your return, you anxiously awaited the results as you sat on the edge of the tub, after a few minutes, you peered down at the stick and your heart dropped.

Later that day, your sister Rebecca returned home from work where she found you on the couch curled up in a blanket; eyes shrink wrapped in tears. She set her things on the coffee table and wrapped an arm around you, she rubbed your shoulder soothingly until your tears had subsided and that was when you revealed the reason for your distress.

Meanwhile, Rafael painstakingly went about his life, despite protests from Liv and the others, in his mind it made sense to keep himself busy, that way he wouldn’t have to deal with the reality that he had lost the love of his life...and her confession of becoming an expectant mother. After the Sophie fiasco, Rafael was desperately trying to contact Charlotte, he had lost track of the many phone calls and text messages he sent her; although he couldn’t blame her...he had violated her trust in an unforgivable manner and as much as he wanted to just make everything that happened disappear, there was no way that he could reclaim the life he once had.

Rafael was sitting in his office reviewing one of his case files when his phone beeped, his emerald irises widened when he saw the message… it was the last person he expected to hear from...Charlotte.

We need to talk...meet me at the coffee shop down the street from my OB’s office

Alright...I’m on my way

Charlotte scheduled an appointment with her doctor once she had time to collect her thoughts, as she was sitting on top of the examination table, her mind drifted back to the conversation she had with Rebecca the night before...as hard as it would be, if it turned out that she was indeed pregnant, she would have to notify Rafael. At that moment, her doctor entered the room with the test results in hand, with a soft smile, she confirmed what Charlotte already knew and now it was time to have an unpleasant conversation with the man who betrayed her; as she exited the building, Charlotte texted Rafael and began making her way to the coffee shop. The front door chimed as Rafael stepped inside the establishment, his eyes scanned the enclosure for Charlotte until he saw her in the back corner, slowly, he padded towards the table where she had a coffee already waiting for him. They barely looked at one another as the world around them continued to function in its normal capacity, the tension surrounding them was so palpable you could cut it with a knife. Charlotte lightly tapped her fingers on the container housing her chamomile tea as she thought of the best way to approach the subject...finally, it was Rafael who ultimately broke the awkward silence.

“I would ask how you are doing but…”

“Then don’t” Charlotte snapped all the while maintaining her composure without breaking down into tears again, she breathed through her nose and exhaled a deep breath then blurted out:

“It’s official...I’m pregnant and your the father”

Rafael blinked as he took a moment to process the huge bombshell that was just dropped on him, although he had his suspicions, receiving actual confirmation made everything all the more real. While his first instincts were to reach out and hold Charlotte’s hand and comfort her, he knew that she would rebuff his advances, with a heavy sigh, he continued:

“Charlotte...I know there’s nothing I can say or do to make up for everything that has happened, but I just want you to know that whatever you decide...I will respect your wishes”

Charlotte replied, "Well look at you...the great Rafael Barba playing the martyr"

The venom in her voice caused Rafael to inwardly cringe while on the outside his face took on a wounded appearance.

Charlotte sighed, "I'm sorry Rafael...that was unfair of me"

"It was well deserved believe me"

She looked out the window for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts while Rafael looked on, carefully gauging her mood. Finally, she spoke:

“Look...I don’t know where we go from here...all I know is that I do want you to be a part of our child’s life and we’ll figure it out as we go along with regards to visitation and support”

Her words were like a dagger to Rafael’s heart, granted that she was willing to let him see their child, a part of him hoped that she would consider the possibility of raising their little bundle of joy together; and yet the more realistic side of him understood that once a trust has been breached, it could take a long time to rebuild or worst case scenario, one can never regain that trust. He frowned but nodded his head in agreement, upon exiting the coffee shop, they both decided that Charlotte would update Rafael on the baby’s development and went their separate ways.

6 months later…

Charlotte stares idly at the monitor as the doctor ran the ultrasound wand along her abdomen, waiting to catch a glimpse of the tiny life growing inside her, today was the day that she would find out the gender of her baby. The doctor adjusted the image on the screen to where a little grey jelly bean came into view, as she pointed out how the baby was developing on schedule, Charlotte became overwhelmed with emotion; tears began to prick in her eyes as she sniffled.

“Charlotte..are you ready to know what you are having”

“Yes, please”

The doctor clicked a few more buttons and a more clearer picture came into focus

“Congratulations Charlotte...you’re having a healthy baby girl”

The floodgates opened as tears streamed down her face, the amount of joy and love that she felt for the tiny human being inside her was astounding; at that point the doctor excused herself so she could print out the ultrasound pictures. During this moment of solitude, Charlotte’s happiness was quickly foreshadowed by the fact that this beautiful child was created out of the love that she once shared with Rafael, the man that she was set to wed before it was revealed that he had been unfaithful to her but as much as she wanted to hate him for the rest of her life...there was a part of her that still loved him and missed him very much. She quickly wiped her eyes as the doctor re-entered the room, she was handed the ultrasound pictures before gathering her belongings and leaving the examination room. She was then escorted down the hall to the reception desk, as she was finishing up with the receptionist, a familiar figure was sitting patiently in the waiting room. Upon entering, Charlotte was greeted with a smiling tall, sandy haired gentleman.

“You ready to go Charlotte”

“Ready when you are Sonny”

Sonny smiled as the two of them made their way out of the building, he helped her into his car that was parked along the sidewalk and as soon as he was in the driver’s seat; he started the ignition and drove off. A few months prior, Sonny had ran into you while grocery shopping at the local market, the two of you exchanged pleasantries and even agreed to meet up for lunch later on that week and ever since then, Sonny was like a Godsend. Whenever you were feeling overwhelmed or you just needed someone to talk to, he would always be there. He even invited you over to his place a couple of times where he would share with you the many culinary delights from mama Carisi and cuddle up on the couch and binge watched on various movies involving tragic romances. Sonny meandered down the streets of downtown Manhattan while Charlotte looked out the passenger window watching the buildings pass by, her mind a jumbled mess with everything that has happened, she finds herself in one hell of a moral dilemma. It was almost as if Sonny could read her mind because when they came to traffic light, he looked over to her and asked:

“Is everything ok?”

With a heavy sigh, Charlotte replied, “I don’t know Sonny...how can you miss someone who dismantled everything you once knew to be true...who you gave your heart and soul to, only to have it torn apart…”

He frowned as he put the car in gear and continued driving towards her apartment, “I know what Barba did was inexcusable…but I’ve seen him in the office and he puts up a good front but deep down I know he misses you terribly and would give his soul to be with you again”

Charlotte smiled softly, knowing that Rafael still cared for her brought some comfort, but the underlying question was that if she reunited with Rafael...how does she know that she can trust him again. The car came to a stop outside her apartment building, and they began their ascent up the elevator then as they reached her floor, they strolled down the hall towards her door; Charlotte settled down on the couch while Carisi prepared dinner. The aroma of cooked pasta and oregano filled the room, after chowing down on their exquisite feast, Charlotte and Carisi planted themselves on the couch and browsed through Netflix until they decided on a romantic comedy with Jude Law and Julia Roberts.

They were well into the movie when there was a knock at the door, Sonny got up and looked through the peephole and then opened the door a crack where in his line of sight he was welcomed by his colleague in a three piece suit; the well rounded and sassy ADA known as Rafael Barba. The two men nodded at one another upon entry, Charlotte carefully sat up and stood in the middle of the living room, there was a moment of awkward silence before Sonny spoke:

“Well I’m going to run down to the store real quick, we ran out of milk”

And with that, Sonny grabbed his coat and left, Rafael and Charlotte looked at each other with weariness in each other’s eyes, not knowing what to say or do. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Rafael broke the ice:

“How are you feeling?”

“For the most part, I feel tired and gross”

Rafael snorted, “If you don’t mind me saying...I think you are still the most beautiful woman to ever walk this Earth”

Charlotte blushed at his words, she forgot that he could be pretty charming when he wanted to be, she fiddled with her fingers as she sat back down on the couch. Rafael soon joined her but kept his distance.

“Listen...the reason I came over was to tell you that I’m happy for you and Carisi”

Charlotte furrowed her brows, “Excuse me”

“He’s a good man...and I know that he’ll take care of you the way you deserve to be...and I think we can make this whole co-parenting situation work as long as there is an open communication with one another”

Charlotte grinned and began giggling, at the same time, Rafael looked on with puzzlement.

“Did I miss something?”

Once she sobered up, she replied, “Rafael...I’m not dating Sonny, we’re just friends”

“But everyone at the precinct has been saying how close you both have gotten and that it was only a matter of time before…”

“Look Rafael...these last six months have been hard and as much as I want to hate you with every fiber of my being, I’ve come to realize that I still love you and I miss you so much”

Rafael gazed upon Charlotte’s face, slowly he brought up his hand and cradled her face, his thumb caressed her cheek as she leaned into his touch. He pulled himself closer to her until their faces were inches apart, he gave her a hesitant kiss on her lips but from there it gained momentum. All those months apart, the longing and need spilled out into the fiery, passionate kisses but then they reluctantly broke the kiss in need for air; their eyes connected for a brief moment until Rafael spoke again:

“I love you Charlotte...and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you...if you’ll have me”

Charlotte desperately wanted to believe him, and while she was unsure as to what the future held for them, all she knew was that she couldn't imagine a life without Rafael in it.

“We have some work to do, but I am willing to give us another try”

#rafael barba x reader #reconciliation #I'm so sorry this took forever for me to get posted #hopefully you all enjoy

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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years

Text

Bonding Session

Summary: The kiss scenes in the dramas you watched never left you truly satisfied. Sharing that knowledge with your new housemate ended with taking a turn that definitely changed your view on how someone should kiss.

Pairing: Do Kyungsoo x reader

Genre: roommate au / flirty fluff

Warnings: none

Word count: 1547

“Kiss him! Kiss!” you chanted, hands clutching at your thighs as you leaned forward towards the screen. “Oh, ohhh!”

The couple who you were berating for taking so long to inch their lips together stepped close enough to do so, your heart now fluttering with anticipation. The feelings had been built within them – and within you – and finally, finally you would get your long overdue kiss scene in episode 10.

Their lips met and instantly you deflated, throwing yourself back into the couch, slapping your leg with your hand in annoyance. “That’s not a god damn kiss, that’s a lip press!”

You didn’t know how many Korean dramas you had watched now. Hundreds no doubt. You knew all the formulas and you were certain of what to expect in most storylines. Still, even though most kiss scenes were a letdown in your books, you loved the cliché romance and the build up of it all. You enjoyed the surprising times where actors like Ji Chang Wook gave it his all and you wished nothing more than to be kissed like that. Heck, with some actors, you’d even be inclined to lip press with them. And yet, it annoyed you that they threw away a good opportunity to kiss properly.

Each and every time.

“I swear someone needs to go there and teach them how to kiss!”

“I suppose you assume that should be you?” your roommate Kyungsoo calmly stated, and for a moment, you tore your eyes away from the screen, blinking slowly in recognising he was still there. Of course, he was. You had begged Kyungsoo to watch this drama with you, calling it a bonding session since you had been living together now for two months. You were still learning all about him and this was a great way for him to get insight into who you were as well. However, in reality, it was mostly just you screeching about the happenings on the screen and him quietly observing both you and the drama. You weren’t even sure he was enjoying himself.

You let out a small laugh. “Well, at least I’d kiss them properly. That scene was so steamy and then they dropped it with simply pressing their lips into each other. What a shame!”

“Do you even know what a steamy scene is? You’re watching a show that is entirely unrealistic. How does any of this happen in real life?” Kyungsoo mused, shooting you a side glance. He then shook his head. “I’m concerned you don’t know what real romance is if you sit here and swoon over things like this.”

Gaping incredulously, you shifted along the couch on your knees to poke Kyungsoo in the chest. “Excuse me?!”

He smirked. “I’m only stating the truth, Y/N. What boss is going to fall in love with someone that ridiculous?”

“I’m… I’m like her!”

Kyungsoo shrugged, folding his arms across his chest. “Don’t go fantasising about your boss anytime soon.”

“Oh my God,” you breathed, pushing him again with annoyance. “You know nothing about romance!”

“And why do you say that?”

“Because they clearly have a bond and it’s obvious they like each other!”

“Despite how he treats her? Come on, even I had hoped you’d have higher standards than letting a man that infuriating into your heart.”

“He has some redeeming qualities,” you bartered and Kyungsoo scoffed.

“His abs, right?”

“Hey, I like arms!” you blurted out and pouted when you were done. You decided you would stop watching the show with Kyungsoo after this episode. You didn’t need him bashing your cliché romances. Nor did you need to defend your love for them. You already knew they weren’t realistic.

That was the point. If all that was shown on TV was like real life, you wouldn’t need to watch it. Being able to escape into another world was worth it to you. It meant you could enjoy the emotional rollercoaster ride that came with someone else’s love life.

Since yours was nonexistent.

Moving back to your side of the couch, you reached for the remote to stop Netflix from rolling onto the next episode. Kyungsoo flicked his attention to your face and you could see the ghost of his smile still tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Why did you stop it?”

“It’s clear we like different shows,” you announced glumly and sighed. “You don’t have to watch it with me anymore.”

“I don’t?”

You shook your head. “I don’t want to bore you any further.”

“Who said I was bored? If I didn’t want to watch it, would I have sit through the last ten episodes?”

He had you there. Still, you shot him a look. “You made fun of the story.”

“You did too. You were annoyed that they didn’t kiss properly,” he pointed out and you nodded whilst throwing your hands up exasperatedly.

“Well, they didn’t! That isn’t a real kiss.”

“So what is then?”

“What do you mean?” you questioned warily, watching as he moistened his plump heart-shaped lips. You blinked again, wondering if that was a forewarning to another speech about your lack of realistic romantic notions or if he was thinking along other lines.

Coughing awkwardly, you reached forward to gulp down some of your drink from the coffee table, washing away the brief image you had. Kyungsoo cocked his head to the side, resting back into the couch and watched you intensely. “You seem so full of opinions about kissing yet where is the proof?”

“How can I give you proof?” you chuckled weakly, shaking your head. “I’m just generalising. You could go there yourself and kiss her better than he did too!”

Kyungsoo smiled with immense satisfaction. “So you did just think about me kissing, huh?”

“What?! No!”

“Then why did you grow embarrassed and reach out for your drink hastily?”

You cursed him inwardly for being so observant. “I was thirsty.”

“I bet you were.”

“Okay, I’m going to start the next episode now!” you announced, thumbing the remote control buttons quickly and turned your attention back to the television screen. You cringed; the other thing that annoyed you about Korean dramas sometimes was the replay from the last scene at the start of a new episode. You were acutely aware of your heart thumping away in your chest and this time, it wasn’t because you anticipated their lacklustre kiss.

Kyungsoo moved swiftly, shifting across the couch so fast that you didn’t even have a chance to react until you felt his lips upon yours. He didn’t move them immediately and you almost laughed against his mouth at the fact that he was mimicking the couple onscreen. When he was certain you weren’t about to baulk on him, he started kissing you properly.

Your eyes fluttered shut, responding to his earnest approach with equal measures. You reached out to wrap your arms around his neck, a hand threading through the strands of his hair as you breathed him in.

Now this, this was a kiss. It took your breath away and had you begging for more. The temperature between you rose and you were soon flush against him, his chest heaving along with yours. You vaguely heard the characters behind you talking to one another yet it didn’t trigger you to stop.

You were too wrapped up in your own kiss scene.

When you finally separated from the kiss that truly trumped all kisses you had ever witnessed, you watched Kyungsoo closely. His eyes were blown with lust, though you could see that some of his boldness had overwhelmed him. He retreated a little, still touching you, just not fully pressing you into the couch anymore.

He cleared his throat noisily. “So uh, how was that?”

“Hm?”

“You know, for a kiss. Does it match up to your scale?” You shook your head, smiling softly. “No.”

“Oh.”

Leaning into his space, Kyungsoo caught you easily, his hand encircling your wrist as your palm pressed into his chest. “It exceeded it.”

“Really? I thought you lived for these dramas?”

“Oh I do, but I never said they could kiss well. That moment we just had though, I’m sure would rival even the best actors in the industry.”

Kyungsoo chuckled. “As long as it gave you all the feelings you were hoping for then it was good enough.”

“Should we turn off the drama or?” Glancing at the screen and feeling disconnected from the characters now that you had your own potential love interest sitting next to you, Kyungsoo shook his head. You frowned and then gasped when you came to a hasty conclusion. “You didn’t just do all that to tease me, right?”

“I’m not that cruel. But let’s keep watching. According to your statistics, there will be more kisses before they start hugging instead of passionately embracing each other, right?”

“Well, yeah…”

Kyungsoo took your hand away from his chest, instead linking his fingers with yours, knowing that you had exclaimed earlier on how that was one of your weaknesses in these shows. He shot you a smirk. “We have some kisses coming up to watch out for, since we need to outdo them, right?”

You grinned. Maybe watching dramas with Kyungsoo was a good way to bond with him after all.

_________________

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be11atrixthestrange · 3 years

Text

Step 4: Initiating a Relationship

From 12 Fail-Safe Ways To Charm Hermione Granger

Step 4: Initiating a Relationship

By now, you've likely developed a stronger bond with the witch you aim to charm. Do not assume that she knows what you want. When you are ready to begin a romantic relationship, it's important to make your intentions very clear. If you are met with rejection, you must accept it gracefully, and with respect. If your feelings happen to be mutual, feel free to celebrate, as the start of a new relationship is an exciting time. But keep this book close by, because the real work is just beginning..

________________________________

Hermione's head had now been resting heavily on Ron's arm for quite some time. When he tried to wiggle his fingers, he was unsure if he'd been successful, but the attempt sent a wave of sharp prickles to his shoulder. He propped himself up on his functional elbow as to slither the unresponsive arm out from underneath her.

Wincing, he opened and closed his fist until it started to feel like his own again. In the absence of his arm, she turned away and settled back into stillness. There was suddenly a lot more space between them, made possible by their extra large bed, a brilliant investment that had prevented more arguments than they would ever realize.

They'd been confined to single beds during their first few months of sharing sleep, and at first Ron didn't mind. Sleeping next to Hermione was a luxury, and it seemed foolish to care if there wasn't enough room for his legs, or if she accidentally jabbed his ribs with her elbow, or he woke the next morning to discover his arm had fallen asleep so painfully that he thought he'd been splinched again.

The novelty of falling asleep while intertwined like lovers in a Shakespeare play wore off rather quickly. By the time that they moved in together, Hermione's suggestion that they invest in a very large bed had come as a huge relief. "I love you, but I need sleep," is what she had told him, echoing his sentiments exactly. It turned out that more space led to adequate rest, and adequate rest meant they had energy to explore the more salacious advantages of having a bed that size.

Other novelties wore off as they settled back into their more familiar dynamic. He knew the shift had happened one morning in bed together, when he slipped off her bra to reveal a birthmark he had never seen before. Even though his stomach sank to learn she normally hid it with a beauty charm, he still grinned triumphantly as he leaned in to kiss it, because she no longer felt the need to. It was evident by the time they showered together and nothing happened, because a functional and effective shower actually wasn't very sexy at all. He definitely knew it when she bought a single admission ticket to a muggle play because she knew it wouldn't interest him, and she didn't want him to feel guilty staying home.

The intentional relationship building in the beginning now felt more distant, but there were still times that brought Ron right back to the early days. When Hermione fell ill with a nasty flu, Ron took a day off simply to sit with her, make her soup, and read to her. He even bit his tongue at the irony that her favorite book was about a young girl aiming to marry rich, and gave her his best Mr. Darcy impersonation as he read aloud. At the very least, it made her smile, and he had to admit that maybe his first impression of the book was misguided. When he joined a local Quidditch league, he rediscovered how god awful his playing could be when he was nervous. Hermione, who long ago admitted how uninterested she was in watching Quidditch, still came to watch him play every week. He was a much better player when there was a beautiful witch in the stands holding up a sign that read 'Weasley Is My King.'

It meant even more to him now, knowing she was there because she wanted to support him, not because she felt like she needed to pretend to like Quidditch. At the very beginning, he might have feigned interest in classic romance novels, or muggle plays because that's what good boyfriends were supposed to do, but he liked the freedom of not having to. It took the pressure off of being the perfect match for each other, so they could spend their energy making each other happy instead.

******

Ron stood motionless in the shower, his back to the wall, while the scalding hot water poured over his body. He normally preferred his showers lukewarm, but today the stinging heat felt therapeutic. The water burned painfully, but it was better than feeling nothing at all, and numbness seemed to be his only other option. He kept his eyes open and focused on the showercurtain. Logically he knew that the battle was over, but his body hadn't caught up yet, and he didn't dare turn his back to the curtain in case there really was a death eater waiting to strike.

He listened to the running water in the shower beside him. Hermione was in there, and even though she was safe, he still felt unsettled by the wall that separated them. She hadn't left his sight since Malfoy Manor, and it felt wrong that he couldn't see her now. He had no way to express that when they parted ways for separate showers, because they hadn't even shared their second kiss, so "let's shower together," would have been too much of a leap.

A relaxing shower was beyond his expectations, but eventually the steady heat of the water focused him enough to take his mind off of the showercurtain, and any death eaters lurking behind it. There was only one other thing that he was willing to think about- Hermione. So much had happened since their first kiss in the Room of Requirement, and he had no idea how to pick up where they left off. The task of initiating a second kiss felt a bit like destroying a horcrux, because he knew he had to do it, but had no idea how.

The chivalrous side of him wanted to wait until they were fully clothed, and then walk her to the stairs of the girls dormitory where she had a familiar bed. He would tuck her hair behind her ear before gently guiding her face closer for a chaste peck on the lips. The randy side of him wanted to step into the shower stall with her, pick her up, and hold her against the wall while he snogged her senseless. Hopefully she'd respond enthusiastically, wrapping her legs around his hips, and for the first time he wouldn't mind the deafeningly loud pipes of the castle's shoddy plumbing. The logical side thought it more likely that they would crawl into his bed together, just like they had every night at Shell Cottage. This time when they laid face to face, foreheads together, he'd kiss her right on lips like he wanted to so many times before.

It happened in none of those ways. She was standing at the sink after her shower, wearing her threadbare jumper and an oversize pair of joggers, studying her reflection in the mirror. His clothes were still in her beaded bag, so he wrapped his towel tightly around his hips, hoping it was secure enough to stay put. She'd seen him shirtless before, but that was before their first kiss, so it felt more intimate now. He approached her cautiously, trying to ignore his own self consciousness, hoping she wouldn't be embarrassed by his state of undress.

"Can I get a change of clothes from your bag?"

He waited for his answer, but his question didn't seem to register. Instead, her eyes narrowed at her reflection and her voice croaked when she asked, "I hope I didn't look this awful when I kissed you."

A lump formed in Ron's throat. He had never thought Hermione cared about her looks. She never fawned over her own image or obsessed over beauty charms, and he'd never heard her criticize her appearance. His stomach tightened in guilt when he remembered the times he called another girl a troll, fell victim to Fleur's veela charm, or made a crude comment about Madam Rosmerta at the Three Broomsticks. He'd intentionally never said anything about Hermione before, but maybe his comments about other girls were enough to pick away at her own self confidence. Then again, maybe he was giving himself too much credit, and telling her that he thought she was beautiful wouldn't be enough.

"Hermione," he started, before she interrupted him again.

"I don't need you to answer that, Ron," she said, still avoiding his eye contact in the reflection.

So he didn't answer her. Instead, he reached for her hand, turned her around, took a deep breath, and kissed her.

Suddenly, it didn't matter that he was only wearing a towel. The self consciousness he felt about his pale, bruised, and freckled body just made him feel more connected to her, because he knew he wasn't alone in feeling that way. And if the cuts on her face, and her singed hair, and whatever the fuck she was referring to before, did absolutely nothing to change how beautiful she was, maybe, just maybe she felt the same way about him.

Kissing Hermione for the second time in a cold and dirty bathroom wasn't his plan, but he forgot where he was when she snaked her arms around his waist and pulled herself closer. He finally discovered what it felt like to tangle his fingers in her bushy hair, and slide his tongue along her lower lip, relishing in the fact it wasn't just a scalding hot shower that could shake the numbness from his body.

Eventually his towel loosened around his waist, and he realized that the only thing that was holding it up was the contact of her hips against his. There was a part of him that wanted it to fall down so she would see all of him, just to get that part over with, so he didn't have to feel conscious anymore. But realistically, he knew he couldn't rush his insecurities away, and if he was feeling this way, there was a good chance she might be too. With hesitation, he pulled himself away from her, and hiked his towel back up with a sheepish grin. Blushing, she nodded toward her beaded bag on the floor, and affectionately squeezed his arm before leaving him alone in the bathroom so he could change.

When he reentered his dorm moments later, she had already slipped under the covers of his former bed. He had previously just assumed they'd sleep together, but maybe it was different now, and it would feel too forward. He could sleep in one of the empty beds, if it made her more comfortable.

"Can I?" he asked nervously, gesturing awkwardly toward the bed. "I could sleep in another one, if you want."

She simply smiled, and lifted the blankets for him, and he crawled in, thankful that she didn't misinterpret his tone the way he might have if the roles were reversed. They settled against each other in the same way that had become routine over the past few weeks, but this time he could kiss her. So he kissed her for the third, fourth, and fifth time, but after that he lost count, and just kept kissing her until the feel of her lips, her hands, and her breath became familiar.

There was such a clear shift, and he knew what it all meant to him, and he knew it meant the same to her. He could feel it, so it felt silly to mention, but when they were lying awake, face to face, foreheads pressed together, he plucked up the courage, and asked her the question. "What are we now?"

"We're Ron and Hermione," she said sleepily, and somehow that conveyed it all. They were Ron and Hermione. A pair, a unit, partners.

"Ron and Hermione," he repeated softly, smiling, before falling asleep with her head on his arm, as heavy as a bowling ball. It was probably cutting off circulation, and he'd wake to a prickly limb, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

To be continued...

#ROMIONE #hp fanfic #hpromione #hp ficlet #romione fanfic #ronweasley #ron x hermione #ron and hermione #Hermione Granger

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heteroromanticbinsual · 3 years

Text

Changbin Falling For You

My First Imagine

- Fluff, Romance, Angst, (tried to remain gender neutral)

Setting: During COVID19 Pandemic, Professor and Changbin (not a student teacher relationship tho)

*I’m so sorry for the wait. I really struggled with their encounter since I dont have a lot of dating experience (only had 1 partner). But I tried my best to make it seem realistic*

PART 4

Changbin read your caption and swooned over how wonderfully you portrayed the encounter.

He went through your feed and watched all the clips from your teaching sessions. By the twentieth video, he wasn’t listening to what you were saying anymore. He was listening to your voice, how it echoed throughout the room, how you dragged your last syllables when you were being affectionate with your students, how your pitch rose when others were actively engaging, how your words melted into each other and how each sentence slowly turned into music.

The next morning, when Han woke Changbin up, he found Changbin asleep with your lectures still playing. Witty Han decided to pull a prank and played your lecture in the big room and woke Changbin up. Hearing a familiar voice, Changbin woke up, cheeks puffy and eyes still sleepy. “Is that one your guys friend? I feel like I’ve met them before,” he sleepily said.

“Yeah that’s my friend that we met at the convenience store. Don’t you remember,” Han sarcastically said. Changbin none the wiser, asked what friend and continued to the sofa where he would slumber some more. But as soon as he laid down, he stood straight up and realized what Han was talking about.

“Is that Y/N?,” he asked shockingly.

Everyone laughed but Changbin’s first reaction was to ask where they had found this video. Han shared a photo of what he saw that morning and Changbin became a bashful kid. He screamed in retaliation and tried to turn off the tv, only to be met with the other members wresting him. He screamed for them to turn it off but they were having so much fun laughing as Changbin struggled. Seungmin, the only one unbothered, wanted to calm everyone down and turned the tv off. Everyone sighed in disappointment and stopped play fighting with Changbin. Bang Chan called out for them to stop and for them all to quickly begin making breakfast because they had a loaded schedule ahead of them.

That was the start to their busy month. For the next couple of that week, they worked hard to complete their activities for STAYs to enjoy, only occasionally cracking inside jokes about you to Changbin. Every joke, even small, made Changbin stop in his track and blush though. He pretended he didn’t know what they were referring to and simply laughed while scratching his head. Eventually, they ran out of jokes to make (since their encounter with you was so short) and stopped.

But this didn’t stop Changbin from being reminded of you. He rewatched many of your videos but found that he really just wanted to interact with you again. This time around, Changbin was determined to run into you again. He tried to frequent the convenience store every night, whenever possible, but often found the store front without you. He continued coming for about two weeks, making the excuse that he was exercising even though the members already knew why. But no luck of seeing you.

Scene: Convenience Store

Until one night, when Changbin went really late after almost forgetting his mission. As he approached the store, the front was again empty and he was feeling defeated. He decided maybe it was best to stop trying and went inside to buy something for the last time. He softly went to get himself some chocolate milk and was about to pay for his items, when someone else handed the cashier their drink.

“Please scan his drink too,” that person said. Changbin looked up and it was you. You smiled softly at him, paid for both the drinks and grabbed them. You walked out to a table out front and Changbin continued to stare in confusion.

“Well aren’t you going to join me?” you casually asked him.

Changbin quickly collected him and sat next to you. For the first few moments, he remained silent as you handed him his drink and sipped on your tea. You casually looked over to him and asked if he was going to drink his drink. He answered with a soft “oh” and started to open his drink when you placed your cup down and took in a soft but deep breath.

You looked down at your watch and saw that it read “11:11PM” and quickly told Changbin, “Quick, make a wish it’s 11:11.” You squinted your eyes, held your hands tightly to your chin and made a wish. Changbin slowly copied your gesture but ended up just looking at you as your nose crinkled and eyebrows twitched. But as soon as he saw you put your hands down, he closed his eyes and pretended that he made a wish. He squinted like his life depended on it and you couldn’t help but let out a little laugh. He opened one of his eyes and looked to see what you were laughing at.

“Don’t laugh,” he shyly said. This made you blush more and you just ended up staring into the street. Changbin fixed his posture, and sipped on his drink. With the awkward silence looming, you gathered all your courage again and decided to start the conversation.

“Let’s try again.. okkay. I’m Y/N and it’s nice to meet you,” you started. Changbin let out a small giggle and smiled.

“Hi, I’m Changbin. It’s nice.. to meet you.. too,” he answered. You responded back and told him you were a big fan, to which he thanked you. You didn’t know what to say after that so you quickly thought of games you used to play back home. You decided on “21 questions.”

“Let’s play 21 questions, okkayy. We each take turn asking and answering questions okay,” you told him. Changbin was intrigued by this foreign game and agreed.

“I’ll start okay.... Uhm.... Oh I know, Do you put you put on one sock, one shoe, and then the next sock and shoe or do you put both sock and then shoes?” you asked seriously. Changbin immediately started giggling at your silly questions. You smiled while asking why he was laughing. You really wanted to know.

“I put both socks on and then my shoes,” he answered, still laughing. You nodded in approval and then told him it was his turn.

“Who is your Bias in Stray Kids?”

“Hyunjin-ie” you blurted. Changbin’s face turned disappointed and you quickly said “I’m just kidding kekeke... It’s Changbin-ie. His rap and face are perfect.” This made Changbin blush and giggle.

“If there was a zombie apocalypse, who would you eat first and why? Your mom or your dad?”

You two continued your questions long into the night. Your questions kept being silly and Changbin’s were more relatable to both of you. By the last question, you both were having so much fun, neither realized how long you had been out. All that could be heard was laughter and wheezing. This was the most fun either of you had had in a while and did not want the night to end. But the next work day was rolling around the corner and you needed your rest.

“I had so much fun playing this game with you Changbin. May we meet here again?” you bravely asked. He answered back that he couldn’t make any promises because they would be busy again and that he would try his best. So, you suggested on a day sometime in the future and gave him your email.

“Let me know if you can make it or of a better day okkay.” you added. You both waved while saying goodbye and went home.

With the start of a comeback, Changbin was only able to email you that he would be too busy to meet you on the day you suggested. He said he would follow up once he was not longer busy. Almost a whole month passed by and did not email. You weren’t disappointed though, because you knew he was busily promoting. So you didn’t email him and just supported him like a fan. You bought their album, voted for them and streamed their music. All was good with teaching and silently supporting him, when you received an email with the greatest news ever!! You had won an opportunity to attend a video call event with Stray Kids!

Scene: Video Call Event

Changbin had such a busy day and was overwhelmed by such a tight schedule. He had no time for himself and felt disappointed that everything needed all of his investment and attention but couldn’t give his all. Nothing seemed to go as plan and he was now stressing and anxious about nothing and everything. He knew he had a fan event later and all the chaos to get him looking the part and being mentally prepared was overwhelming. He went to the washroom to cry for a moment and came back.

Once the first fan call started, he felt drained. He wasn’t feeling excited as of late but didn’t want to make fans feel bad so he tried extra hard to be cheerful and cute. He joked with them, made silly faces, comforted them and made all their calls worth whiled. But, Changbin was feeling incredibly drained now. He didn’t know how he would make it through the next call. He quickly slapped himself awake and forced a smile. As soon as he heard the call ring though, he grew exhausted. But he only had one more call so he kept it in.

“Hellooooooooo,” he exclaimed when the fan picked up the call.

“Helloooooo....” you shyly said, coming out from the corner. “It’s nice to meet you again.... How have you been?” you asked. Just saying that made you feel so shy, so you quickly covered your mouth and softly giggled.

“Youre my last call for the day and my favorite. this night is ending swell.” you continued. But he did respond.

“You must be very tired....” you said realizing how late it was and how blank his face looked. You could tell that he had a rather long day because his eyes were a but more red. So your excitement changed from one of a young adoring fan to a caring and nurturing friend. Not wanting him to force a smile or speak when he didn’t need to, you asked him if he could just listen while you just shared about yourself so he could rest. He wasn’t actually listening to what you were saying, so it took him a moment to respond. When he realized what was said he softly nodded his head. Only after looking at you did he realize who you were. He immediately became so embarrassed and nervous that his legs shook uncontrollably and the table started to shake. He began smiling and giggling.

You quickly decided you would share just make up an acrostic poem with his name. You hoped to lighten the mood as well as make it interesting. So you pondered for a moment to come up with something sweet and when you were ready, you clapped your hands.

“Okay, I’m ready.”

“Seo”

“So when are you going to apologize for crashing into me?.... Remember?.... When you fell from heaven and thought you landed on a stump?”

“Chang”

“Chang Bin ah, I’m just kidding. You didn’t fall from heaven. God just threw you away because he was tired of competing with a more handsome God.”

“Bin”

“Bin (Been) a bit since I’ve been in Heaven. Do you think you can take me there again?“

You immediately covered your face, feeling completely embarrassed from being so soft and Changbin let out a soft, high-pitched giggle. Just then, the ringer went off and your call was coming to an end. You quickly said your goodbye and waved uncontrollably. Changbin waved back but didn’t realize that the call was ending, until he registered your goodbye. He was shocked and the video ended. Your last image of him was of a shocked lost child and you were so happy that you helped distract him.

END OF PART 4

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felassan · 4 years

Text

Countering Solas

This is a subject I think about a lot, and not just post-Tevinter Nights. Whether you chose ‘try to redeem’ or ‘resolve to stop’, whether the Inquisitor returns as PC or there’s a new guy on the block, whether Solas is the Actual Big Bad in this game or the ‘Dragon’ to something else or just another key player on the ‘field’ over which some other encroaching threat is looming down on, the reality is we’re likely to be spending a lot of the main plot in DA4 trying to counter Solas and his steps. I say “counter” not “defeating” because most of this post deals with that, although at the end it does inevitably dip into the hypothetical defeat scenario (so I guess don’t read to the last point at the end if you don’t like to think about that scenario). I also say “counter” because there is no guarantee that we can straight up stop him. (To be clear, I’m not against the idea of the main plot having him always succeeding from a top-level meta/enjoying the universe and developments within it perspective, nor asserting that he will not. There are seeds in the lore that allude to him succeeding. A post-Veil world would be a fascinating thing to explore and really change things up/refresh the universe. A post-Veil world setting for DA5 has a lot of cool potential. It’s just that even if he does always succeed, we’re still likely to be spending most of the game trying to counter him, kind of like Hawke trying to put out various Kirkwall ‘fires’ until eventually it reaches the Act 3 crescendo and you can’t stop Anders no matter what. I’m specifically wondering about how the writers will have our PCs go about the attempt, trying to explore what that could entail on a practical level, and that’s okay. It’s trying to think about what the story beats and even some game mechanics could involve, given his power. The PC isn’t going to spend the game sitting on their hands and doing nothing re: the Dread Wolf, since Thedas seems aware of this new threat, unlike how Kirkwall was unaware of Anders’ goal. This post also doesn’t mean I don’t like Solas, that I haven’t played out his dialogues or romance, that I don't realize how Powerful he is, or that I think that there’s no other big threat to Thedas that is a serious danger to the world and that Solas is concerned about - the Solas romance is my favorite one and my canon. I shouldn’t really have to make so many qualifications of this kind on a post like this) Anyway I wonder a lot about the specifics of how they’re going to write the PC doing this in terms of the PC’s in-universe efforts and maneuvers on this quest, and about how they can portray this in a satisfying way. I also think a lot about what my Inquisitor would be doing in her own specific efforts to try and stop him.

Here’s some wandering thoughts on the subject of how it might be possible to counter him. It’s a mix of things to keep and mind and literal suggestions of possible measures. This list is by no means intended as prescriptive or exhaustive, and I don’t claim that it’s realistic or ground-breaking or that these ideas would be super effective. There are also bound to be a bunch of things they have in store that we don’t know about, both in terms of what he can do and what they’ll have us do. The rest is under a cut for length and Tevinter Nights spoilers.

Let’s face it, from what we know of Solas, added to how he is at the end of Trespasser, now in combination with the new additions to his repertoire in Tevinter Nights, he’s clearly very powerful, even seeming in some lights a bit OP. He’s a powerful ancient mage from a different time with ancient knowledge, a Dreamer, a Rift Mage, a Fade expert, capable, shrewd, very intelligent and already experienced in this kind of covert stuff/guerrilla warfare. He can kill people in their sleep, freeze people from a distance with a flash of his eyes, he has a powerfully explosive mind-blast move, probably can take the form of the massive draconic Dread Wolf to fight, and it seems like some spirits are helping him. He also has an extensive network of spies and agents, some of whom are fanatically loyal to the cause to the point of being willing to giving their lives up for it; he has eyes everywhere, even in the Qun, Tevinter and the Inquisition. He and these agents are also able to easily move quickly and secretly around much of Thedas thanks to his control of the eluvian network. They seem to have a lot of info, resources and money at their disposal. He is a very substantial power and is of course also a god figure.

Recruit. This is fairly self-explanatory. We already know that since he knows who the Inquisition are, we’re in need of help from people he doesn’t know. This can be people he’s aware of but not super experienced with i.e. that he doesn’t have a complete psychological profile of thanks to having not spent a year working closely with them, like Irian and Vadis. Naturally, an even better idea would be recruiting people he doesn’t know of at all, that have never attracted his attention. It’s also important to remember that there are entire factions we’ve never encountered before in Thedas, like the Fex and the Par Ladians. Very little is known about these groups. We have no idea what they’re capable of, and the dearth of information means it’s totally possible for the writers to write whatever they want about their capabilities and powers.

Some recruitment specifics: Since we know now that he can kill dwarves in their sleep the same as anyone else, even though they supposedly don’t dream, focusing on recruiting mostly dwarves because they wouldn’t be vulnerable to that doesn’t really hold as a viable strategy. A degree of caution towards both existing and new faces is required also, as he has spies/agents placed everywhere - in the Inquisition, the Qun, Tevinter, across Thedas even (which I took to mean across most of its nations and factions). New people need to be highly vetted. Where did they come from? What’s their personal history? How long do the records say they’ve been around for? If there’s anything odd, questionable or unknown/unsure, they can’t be trusted. (Frustratingly, my Inquisitor genuinely mistrusted Solas from the very outset, but you have no option of telling him to go away or not recruiting him). I also hate saying it but an extra layer of caution is unfortunately needed with elves. His agents so far are all elves, including some City, some Dalish, and some ancients, and we can’t know at the outset who is working for him and who is not.

And possibly… even someone he does know. Seemingly clashes with the points above, but there’s merit in the idea. Solas makes a big deal of how he has spies everywhere and how all organizations inevitably have problems with betrayal and corruption. Even with the fanatical-ness of some of them, what makes his follower group any different? I know he keeps them in separate cells so that it’s need-to-know and such, but it’s actually rather boring to me if as a whole they’re completely immune to being infiltrated, having double agents present or outright defections. We already have one example of an ancient elf who turned from the cause and began to think of modern elves as people - Felassan. I bring him up less as a ‘Felassan as a companion pls’ thing (although, pls pls) and more of an example that it’s possible such a character exists/could turn. Felassan didn’t know everything, but if we managed to get someone like that on our side… he knew parts of Solas’ plans and what he intends, and he knew the guy himself quite well and so knew a thing or two about how he operates. Advice from someone like that would be invaluable. You could either have someone acting as an agent of Fen’Harel but in reality they’re a double-agent for us, or a straight up defector who joins our party, turning their powers and what they know about him against him. Additional note: There is now even official indication that the writers have left the door open on Felassan’s “death” in case they decide they want to bring him back.

Not all elves will support him. Ties into the point above. Elves are not a monolith. We have examples of this already - see Charter and her love for Tessa, Irian’s refusal to join them when approached for recruitment (and her relationship with Vadis and general opinion on the whole Fen’Harel cult thing). We even have an example of an ancient not supporting him (Felassan). I would appreciate it if there is an option in-game at some point to try to have a dialogue with some of the elves who follow Solas (but mostly only if race-selection returns and the PC is an elf themselves, otherwise it could take on a not-right tone). Their decision to support Solas is understandable and not stupid, and their concerns are valid. Gaining better understanding of their perspective would be a good thing.

Adapt / change things up. Also fairly self-explanatory. We already know that he knows how the Inquisition works, about its strengths and weaknesses. They are naturally going to need to radically alter their modus operandi. This includes their structure, approaches to things and the specifics of their secrecy measures. They need to try and be unpredictable to him and do things he wouldn’t expect, and double down on being clandestine, need-to-know basis, etc. Real black ops shit. This battle is a chess-board, not open warfare.

Talk-no-Justu. Some amount of this are inevitable I think, especially in ‘try to redeem’ universes. This isn’t a criticism. If it’s well-written and executed well, I have no problem with it. Part of this involves trying to appeal to his better nature and sense of reason, and part of this involves trying to convey the value in and the pockets of good in the modern world, which TN gives us examples of. We have examples of some modern elves who occupy or occupied different positions of relative power or prestige - Charter, Irian, Teia, Cyrros, Guili, Bolivar. There are examples of good deeds; Teia’s ‘don’t kill the help’ policy, Irian and Vadis avoiding killing Tevinter elven servants and Qunari elves who were just doing their jobs, Dorian no longer keeping slaves and only now having paid servants, Lucanis endangering his job and current contract to free a group of elven slaves from their cruel Magister master, the development of an anti-slavery movement in Tevinter. Much of Thedas is still a widely problematic crapsack, and these things don’t in the slightest make up for it for its oppressed groups, but I can see BW putting us in a position where we have the choice of trying to advocate for the modern world and creating change within it as it exists now.

Solas hasn’t been as mysterious and opaque as he thinks. We too spent a long time with him and know his character traits decently well. Sometimes he even could not resist dropping a hint here or there (whether out of pride, moments of weakness or the unconscious desire to be stopped is up to your reading of him). We too know something of how he organizes his forces, how he operates, his tactics and way of thinking. We are not the only ones in this compromised position. He inadvertently revealed some of this stuff in instances like his guerrilla warfare banters with Sera and even in his vocal chess match with Iron Bull. Please note that this is not me suggesting that he is stupid or that he does not carefully consider what to say and what not to say.

He is not all-knowing and all-seeing. He doesn’t have complete oversight of his agents. Sometimes they do things he would not approve of or even that are in accidental complete opposition to what he wants. The best example of his is when Gaius in the comics traded away the idol for information, the very idol Solas has been keenly-seeking all along and is key to his post-foci plans. To add, some of his people are fanatical, and fanaticism is not traditionally a notorious hotbed of critical thinking or making the best decisions.

He is also not infallible. I don’t doubt that he is eminently capable, or that he’s logical and considered, or that he’s keenly aware of what his flaws are. But in his own way, he’s human. He has made mistakes. By his own admission he’s prideful and hotheaded. Pride is his fatal flaw and the crux of his character. He will continue to make mistakes, as anybody would.

There is a bit of a front going on. In a way, the booming ordering wolf and the “I’ll destroy anyone who gets in my way without hesitation, you cannot stop me” persona isn’t quite true. I mean, it is, and he will, he’s dedicated to his goal and feels he has no choice. He’s also quite pragmatic and ends-over-means. But he’s also simultaneously deeply regretful, and very sad and tired. This duality can be capitalized on. Also tying to the above, when we’re sad and tired, we’re more inclined to slip up and make mistakes. In some universes he straight-up seems like the wants to be proven wrong or wants to be stopped or die in the attempt but be thwarted.

He himself acknowledges the threat modern Thedosians pose to him and his plans. He is on record saying that many people oppose him and that he knows they’re not fools. He’s worried enough to personally attend a meeting of the top spies in all of Thedas in order to try and find out what they know about him and attempt to throw people off his scent. That’s a big deal. He is worried for a reason

He underestimates modern Thedosians. Related to the point above. Not by much, but still a bit. Felassan straight-up tells him that they are stronger than he thinks. This goes for their intelligence and resourcefulness also.

How many followers can he even have? A few dozen at least, a few hundred at most imo. That’s considerable but not actually a lot in the scheme of things.

Length of time. Self-explanatory. It’s going to take a few years for the ritual to complete. HoF stopped the Fifth Blight in a year. Inky stopped Cory in a year. A lot can be done in a year or two.

Forge alliances. There are seeds of this happening already and it’s a standard part of a BW narrative, ‘oh we must unite against our common enemy guys’. He clearly has knowledge of many intelligence-related groups in Thedas, including but not limited to the dwarven Carta, Inquisition remains, Nevarran Mortalitasi, Tevinter Siccari, Qunari Ben-Hassrath, the Executors and probably Orlesian bards. But, could he really stand against all of them, were they to work together? They in turn have been keeping tabs on him and have various intelligence on his movements, goals etc. What if we pool and share all that knowledge? We’d get a much clearer picture of what he’s doing. Some are already actively working against him and reaching out to one another. What if we add in other groups he doesn’t have a signposted-eye on to the mix, like the Antivan Crows, the Grey Wardens and the Rivaini Lords of Fortune? I think all or most of these groups working together are a formidable adversary for anyone to face. A potentially very potent ‘let’s counter him’ alliance between the Inquisition and the Qunari Ben-Hassrath is already alluded to. What if the Ben-Hassrath then re-direct the Antaam’s attentions to the real magical threat (and boy do they hate magic)? They have canons, explosives, dreadnoughts, advanced technologies, many well-trained soldiers.

Information-gathering. If there’s one fallen piece of Arlathan with bits of libraries with ancient elven texts in them that can be located by the Inquisition and ransacked for clues on the Evanuris and their potential undoing, there are others. The Inquisition and Qunari are both clearly researching this subject and pursuing this line of thinking, and they clearly both had this idea independent of one another. If one expedition can be mounted, others can. Laudine can’t be the only person for a gift for ancient elven language. Among the Dalish there are probably others who are good with it. Who knows what useful information we might find in these places/ventures, or already found in the TN expedition?

Smash the eluvianarchy. His agents would still be able to get around a lot and easily, because there are bound to be many more and many that we don’t know about. It’s also a waste of priceless ancient artifacts. But every barricaded door is one they can’t get through, one more tool denied them. Briala and her people probably know where a portion of them at least still are. So do the Qunari. Doing this to every one that’s known of and every one that’s found along the way partially hampers their ability to travel through them and therefore partially impacts their movements

[and/or] Construct our own eluvians. Having our own means of instant travel and our own network of eluvians would be helpful. Two can play at that game, sort of thing. Modern inventors like Dagna are brilliant. The Glassworks in Serault are renowned across Thedas for their skill and knowledge, and Morrigan even went there to conduct research on eluvians. What they have there, and what she researched, was enough that it enabled her to be able to repair an eluvian. The Inquisition has done some research into eluvians and has contact, either direct as in the case of Morrigan, or indirect as in the case of Merrill (via Varric) with its own eluvian experts. And in Trespasser, Dorian comments that they have many eluvian samples and discusses the possibility of them building eluvians of their own (Varric even pipes up about Merrill if he’s there). Dorian indicates a desire to do this and take it on as a project, so this isn’t out of the realm of possibility.

Seize the means of lyrium production. Okay not literally, and not all of it. But there’s something to be said for the idea, both at the point of extraction and the point of sale/trade. If his ritual truly does require lyrium as the characters in the final story in TN speculate, if his ritual is anything like what the Magisters Sidereal did, it’s likely that he needs looots of the substance. The Magisters Sidereal needed an unimaginable, inordinate amount, actually over two thirds of the lyrium in the entire Tevinter empire at the time. The Magisters had to set 100 acolytes just to the task of gathering it. This amount of such a valuable substance would surely take some time to acquire, even with his many agents and all his money. If you remember, all those coffin-like boxes in Trespasser may have contained lyrium. The companions remark that this was enough lyrium for whole armies of mages. So much lyrium that the Imperium would be jealous and it outstrips the amount Orzammar keeps on hand. That sounds like a Magisters Sidereal Ritual 2.0 amount, if not more. Fortunately we flooded that room and put everything that had been mined underwater. Is there more elsewhere, or was that The store, was that a setback for Solas and he had to begin acquiring it all over again? It does sound like his ritual has already begun, to be fair, which would perhaps imply he had all he needed in order to have begun it in the first place. But I enjoy the thought. Maybe it requires more like a constant stream fed into it, like how we must routinely add wood to a fire in order to keep it burning? Track missing lyrium shipments, find out who is buying up an oddly-much amount. Follow these lines of thinking back to route agents of Fen’Harel and prolong this labor of his. However, a note: if Solas’ ritual requires red lyrium to fuel it and not blue lyrium, this is unlikely to be possible and would not be wise to attempt.

Tap the templars and the Seekers. I don’t like the templars either, but. Tevinter templars have access to enchanted anti-mage weapons that shoot beams of light. Even better, the southern templars and the Seekers are trained specifically to counter and deny magic. They can reinforce reality and the immutability of the world, close off a mage’s access to the Fade, disrupt mana and dissipate magical effects. This is in stark contrast to the magical/Fade-y themes of imagination defining reality and using magic to direct the river of the Fade and therefore influence the world, and I think this contrast is highlighted for a reason. Templars are also somewhat immune to the effects of magic, and even without their powers are among the best warriors in Thedas. They would be capable allies in this specific battle, against a powerful mage with some strong mage followers. And more specifically, a few dozen elite/veteran templars were all that was needed to seal the Breach that first time in DAI if you sided with the templars. Okay yes, via the Herald and through their tool - the Anchor - but that was to seal an already-open tear. What would happen if a few dozen elite templars directed their wills and nullifying abilities at the ritual-in-progress? What about a few hundred? Would Solas be able to cast, for example, his mega mind blast if a few hundred templars were focusing their “nope” on him?

Disrupt the ritual. Ties to the above. Find the ritual site and interrupt the casting or proceedings. It’s going to take several years to complete and sounds intricate. Until it is completed, it is vulnerable. It might be fairly possible to locate as well - the site is likely imo to be somewhere where the Veil is thin. Some such places are already known to modern Thedosians, due to what happened there in the past being a matter of historical record (blood and death) and the weird nature of these places in the present e.g. Brecilian Forest, Arlathan Forest. Others can feasibly be located via research. Solas is the premiere Fade/Veil expert, and he led the work on this at the time, but the Inquisition helped him get readings of the Veil and measure its strength. The results were then overlaid on Thedas maps to predict which areas had a higher chance of tears developing. Are they still in possession of some of this work/some of the notes? Maybe this could be used or developed further.

Nullifying the effects of the idol. This is something that’s clearly possible. The Carta had a special thick double-shielded chest that effectively rendered the idol inert enough that its song and weird effects could no longer be heard/felt. It was marked with protective dwarven runes. Later the idol is kept on a pedestral wrought with - presumably similar - protective runework. I’m super interested in these runes and how they might be adapted to help our cause. (What implications in a general sense btw, do these nullifying runes have for combatting/negating red lyrium and Blight? There’s something going on here) The dwarves are great at this kind of thing, experienced in it and have some really cutting edge technology/creations. In addition, there are some really smart cookies and inventors among modern Thedosians. Dagna for example. She’s brilliant. One step further, destroy the idol. If his MacGuffin is destroyed, what’s his Plan C?

The effects of red lyrium. LOTR-y, but how long can he use or wield the red lyrium idol safely, without becoming corrupted/losing his mind? We know what its effects and the effects of red lyrium in general are. Maybe this is a complete non-issue for him, but it’s possible. In the teaser, red lyrium crawls up the spine of the Solas-esque figure on the idol. I don’t know that he can be immune to its effects indefinitely.

Approach existing modern Dreamers. The talent seemed to reappear in Feynriel, but he’s not the only one. There are still Dreamers in the Imperium, like Aurelian Titus before his death. I doubt he had no counterparts. There is also a belief that a few Dreamers might still exist among the Dalish. Maybe they can help us and our people find a way to defend against or ward off being killed in our sleep.

On the killing in sleep thing in general: It’s not the same as defending against being killed in sleep, but even some strong non-Dreamer mages like the Mortalitasi woman in the final TN story have the ability to create some kind of wards that keep the spirits that whisper in their dreams at bay. She could still hear/sense them whispering but they can’t get to her for vengeance. Similarly and in addition, Felassan had herbs that could keep him from dreaming most of the time, and wards that would do a good job of blocking him from the Fade when the herbs failed. It wouldn’t have been pleasant and it would still have been plenty risky, but it seemed like he could have feasibly used these measures to live a life, albeit constantly looking over his shoulder, at least for a time (this reminds me of keeping Will drugged up in Sens8 so Whispers couldn’t get to him). Modern Dalish have alluded to at least knowing of these herbs’ past existence (Mihris). I’m not sure what the exact connection is, because the dwarves were killed, and they supposedly don’t dream, so it seems like sleeping itself not specifically dreaming is the thing that makes one vulnerable to this thing, but maybe there’s something there that can be utilized or adapted. Even ‘partial cover’ would be super helpful. In emergency situations in the short-term, coffee and other mundane ways of preventing sleep are handy temporary measures, as the Carta dwarf was doing (I’m thinking about situations where an agent’s wards have dwindled and need like refreshing but they still have some distance to travel or time to wait until a mage arrives to refresh them - for example. Don’t mistake this for “we’ll stop him by drinking coffee”… writing that sentence made me laugh). Key to the defense here btw however for me is the fact that Adralla of Vyrtantium, you know, as in who made the Litany of Adralla, discovered or formulated a defense against dream-walkers. Get Adralla’s research, stat.

Along with the sleep-killing, the other major obstacle imo is his freezing ability. The Inquisition are implied to have discovered some kind of knowledge-y MacGuffin. As above with Talk-no-Justu, some amount of MacGuffin-ness is inevitable I think. Again this isn’t a criticism, if it’s well-written and executed well, I have no problem with it. In an ideal universe for me the MacGuffin includes some kind of defense against or way of negating the effect of his freezing powers. Notably, there is a precedent for something of this sort in the lore. In the MotA DLC, we gather jewels and reconstruct the Dagger of the Four Winds. With this dagger, the pirates who are petrified stone statues can be unpetrified. Interestingly, the Fog Dancers (who live in the north, where we’re going..!) have a story called the March of the Four Winds. Perhaps it’s connected, and the Fog Dancers know how to counter petrification. Even if they don’t, example MacGuffins like the Dagger clearly exist in Thedas, so it’s not much of a stretch to suggest that we could engineer a means of protection against this power. Or if not protection, perhaps a way of reversing? It’s debated if the Fog Warriors’ fog is magic or alchemy - if they also have the means to counteract petrification, it could also be either one. I like the scene in Narnia when Aslan breathes life and motion back into the frozen victims of the White Witch.

His true name. Not sure what exactly all that was about, but in that one story the Qunari allude to the fact that his names that we know aren’t true or aren’t quite true. They seem to be looking for information on his supposed-”true name”. Not sure if it’s just Qunari philosophy or Rasaan being Rasaan, but they believe that with this true name they can track a person back through the best and the worst of themselves, find flaws, exploit weaknesses, know what they had failed to be. A common fictional trope is I Know Your True Name. It’s like functional magic whereby knowing the secret true name of someone grants you control over them or some similar great advantage. I’m very intrigued by this idea, what it could mean and the potential here. “Find the Dread Wolf’s true name” quest arc?

Bring the full might of nations and their armies to bear. The idea of entire nations standing against him is already hinted at. This is a purely hypothetical situation, as the devs might not even have us fighting him, or the final battle could easily be against a possible true or bigger antagonist. Consider though a final assault launched on the located ritual site, with our main squad as the tip of the spear and being the ones who facilitate/convey the means to disrupt it to the center, or the entrance to the center (they would also inevitably be the ones who fight the final battle against him personally at the ritual-site-proper, where I imagine he’d be, trying to complete the cast or ready to do his thing when it’s done). Even with hundreds of followers and some mages, can he really defend the site against entire armies of multiple Thedosian nations, especially when he himself is mostly-occupied at the site-proper? Especially when said armies are peppered or reinforced/led by ‘special forces’ like the organizations I’ve named above?

A final battle against the literal Dread Wolf: I’m actually not worried about this. His form is mighty and dangerous, and I know that in-universe it would post a massive threat. I’m also aware of gameplay/story segregation and how our MCs in these games are invariably special or especially heroic compared to normies. But the fact is we and other people defeat giant beasts in this setting - Archdemons, high dragons, Blighted dragons, hyped up power-goons like ancient Magisters, ancient powerful demons like the Forbidden ones - on the regular. I am not worried about a squad of 4 wailing on a giant wolf. In addition, if there is a true or bigger antagonist, we might never even have to fight the DW.

On a meta level there’s going to be a combat-based game with bosses and a Player Vs Antagonist arc, and it has to be fun to play, have an engaging plot, be of a certain length. However it works out in the end in terms of him succeeding/not succeeding (btw us not succeeding, the ‘you failed despite how hard you tried to keep a cap on this thing’-style narrative, has value as a different kind of story which is cool - see DA2), the characters are still going to try. If he just freezes the PC on first meeting or at any subsequent meeting, how is there going to be a game/plot..? Is the PC never going to sleep for the in-universe duration of their campaign, or are we just supposed to buy that he had the ability to kill them in their sleep for the whole game all along and not once decided to use it to stop them? Solas isn’t stupid! I love a ‘desperate odds, how are we gonna do this, the villain is so incredibly powerful, this feels hopeless’-narrative, and don’t doubt that it’s gonna be in there, but it also has to be sensible - believable. We need to feel both threatened and also that if we try, we might be able to do something. It’s a balance to be struck. There’s going to be something, some kind of creative writing around his power gains or limit on it, some series of steps the PC will be investigating and attempting to take, or else the premise is nonsensical - even if the story has him always succeeding and even in the case of a true or larger threat.

The need to ensure permadeath/permadefeat: In the case of redeem universes, this is only a possible potential scenario that I’m posing to explore. I am not asserting nor wishing that this will happen. If even in those universes we fail in the attempt to convince him, or outright cannot convince him to stop, and in a general sense if there’s no other way (and disregarding for this one point/scenario here the possibility that for plot reasons his plans actually railroad to success - which I acknowledge is entirely possible - and he then dies or something as a result) - the first of his people do not die so easily. He’s not so far from the first of his people. He is an ancient and they were immortal. Flemythal’s various survivals over the years is an example of what might be possible. Plus if he was originally a spirit, or given the ancients’ spirity-ness, consider how when spirits ‘die’ they return to the Fade, and if the idea that gave it form is strong or other spirits have memories of it, something similar might reform one day. In this specific scenario, we need to be sure that killing him is a true permadeath, or that else that the means of disabling/depowering him is permanent. I don’t like the idea and don’t like the Rite of Tranquility and what it does to mages, it’s abhorrent, but this is a specific hypothetical scenario and I’m thinking about all options. If he can’t be swayed and can’t be truly killed, maybe making him Tranquil is an effective means of neutralizing the threat. Even it can be reversed however, so in this specific hypothetical scenario I’m curious what they’ll do here/how it would go down. Maybe he can’t even be made Tranquil, or would need to be killed in the Fade and then made Tranquil ‘twice-over’ kinda by doing it irl too? Interesting thought.

#dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #dragon age #tevinter nights #solas #bioware #tevinter nights spoilers #tevinter nights spoiler #video games #mj meta #felassan #Best Elf #Gryff Lavellan

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somegirlsnerdywords2 · 4 years

Text

Anime i’ve Watched

That begin with a K (Part 5)!

Yep this is how i’m going to bring over all the anime and manga i’ve watched and posted about on the old blog. It’s not so detailed but it will have to do. Anything new I watch or read from this point on will have their own posts.

Kuroko no Basket:

Genres: comedy, school, shounen, sports

Synopsis: Teikou Junior High School's basketball team is crowned champion three years in a row thanks to five outstanding players who, with their breathtaking and unique skills, leave opponents in despair and fans in admiration. However, after graduating, these teammates, known as "The Generation of Miracles", go their separate ways and now consider each other as rivals. At Seirin High School, two newly recruited freshmen prove that they are not ordinary basketball players: Taiga Kagami, a promising player returning from the US, and Tetsuya Kuroko, a seemingly ordinary student whose lack of presence allows him to move around unnoticed. Although Kuroko is neither athletic nor able to score any points, he was a member of Teikou's basketball team, where he played as the "Phantom Sixth Man," who easily passed the ball and assisted his teammates. Kuroko no Basket follows the journey of Seirin's players as they attempt to become the best Japanese high school team by winning the Interhigh Championship. To reach their goal, they have to cross pathways with several powerful teams, some of which have one of the five players with godlike abilities, whom Kuroko and Taiga make a pact to defeat. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 8/10

Finished airing in 2012 with a total of 25 episodes.

My Thoughts: Sports! But not as much friendship, character development and fluffiness as I personally prefer. Plus some of the characters have special abilities or powers taking this firmly out of the realistic category. Not a bad series overall though! Certainly enjoyable.

Kuroko no Basket 2nd Season:

Genres: comedy, sports, school, shounen

Synopsis: With the Interhigh Championship finally over, Seirin's basketball team refocuses their efforts, training harder than ever to get the chance to participate in the Winter Cup. Both Kuroko and Kagami see old friends walk back into their lives, providing a challenge both on and off the court. As new skills are developed and new alliances created, enemies from various teams—giants of high school basketball such as Yousen, Shuutoku and Touou—stand in the way of Seirin's steadfast attempts to get to the top. All of these schools prove to be formidable foes whose abilities progress exponentially, while Kuroko struggles to find a balance between his resolve to play as part of a team and his desire to win. With old wounds reopening, new challenges to face on the court, and a new set of foes—the "Uncrowned Kings"—vowing to defeat the new hopefuls, will Seirin ever be able to achieve their dream of beating the Generation of Miracles? [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 9/10

Finished airing in 2014 with a total of 25 episodes.

My Thoughts: Season 2 was even better than the first though all I said before pretty well stands!

Kuroko no Basket 3rd Season:

Genres: comedy, sports, school, shounen

Synopsis: Following their triumph against Yousen High, Seirin's basketball team has reached the semifinals of the Winter Cup along with Kaijou, Rakuzan, and Shuutoku. Each of these teams possesses a member of the Generation of Miracles, and Seirin prepares to face the largest obstacles on their path to winning the Winter Cup. In the final season of Kuroko no Basket, Kuroko goes head-to-head with his old teammates once more as he attempts to show them that individual skill is not the only way to play basketball. His firm belief that his form of basketball, team play, is the right way to play the sport will clash with the talents of a perfect copy and an absolute authority. While Kuroko tries to prove that his basketball is "right," he and the rest of Seirin High ultimately have one goal: to win the Winter Cup and overcome the strength of the Generation of Miracles, who have long dominated the scene of middle and high school basketball. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 9/10

Finished airing in 2015 with a total of 25 episodes.

My Thoughts: We’ve now reached what was essentially the final boss. You don’t need me to convince you to watch the third season if you’ve already watched the previous two...

Kuzu no Honkai (Scum’s Wish):

Genres: drama, romance, school, seinen

Synopsis: To the outside world, Hanabi Yasuraoka and Mugi Awaya are the perfect couple. But in reality, they just share the same secret pain: they are both in love with other people they cannot be with.

Hanabi has loved her childhood friend and neighbor Narumi Kanai for as long as she can remember, so she is elated to discover that he is her new homeroom teacher. However, Narumi is soon noticed by the music teacher, Akane Minagawa, and a relationship begins to blossom between them, much to Hanabi's dismay.

Mugi was tutored by Akane in middle school, and has been in love with her since then. Through a chance meeting in the hallway, he encounters Hanabi. As these two lonely souls spend more time together, they decide to use each other as a substitute for the one they truly love, sharing physical intimacy with one another in order to stave off their loneliness.

[Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 8.5/10

Finished airing in 2017 with a total of 12 episodes.

My Thoughts: This may be an unpopular opinion but I actually really liked this anime. It had some really large issues and moments that made me want to cringe until death took me into her sweet embrace but it was a rather unique story and anime. Plus you know sometimes it’s fun to watch an anime where pretty well everyone is an absolutely awful person. I doubt i’d ever watch it again but it was worth that single watch. Great art and opening though!!

Kyoukou Suiri (In/Spectre):

Genres: mystery, comedy, demons, supernatural, romance, shounen

Synopsis: Hidden in plain sight, spirits known as youkai inhabit the world. While most are benign, a certain subset threatens the tenuous peace between youkai and humanity. Ever since she agreed to become their "God of Wisdom," Kotoko Iwanaga has served as a mediator between the two realms, resolving any supernatural problems that come her way. At a local hospital, Kotoko approaches Kurou Sakuragawa, a university student whose long-term relationship ended with an unfortunate breakup. Kotoko harbors feelings for him and suspects that something supernatural lurks within his harmless appearance, so she asks Kurou for his assistance in helping out youkai. Two years later, news of an idol who was accidentally crushed to death by steel beams flooded the press. However, months later, sightings begin to tell of a faceless woman who wields a steel beam. As is the case for any supernatural problem, Kotoko and her partner set out to stop this spirit from wreaking havoc—but this case may prove to be far more sinister and personal than they could have ever thought. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 7.5/10

My Thoughts: An interesting mystery with rather interesting characters. I personally had quite a few issues with this anime, including but not limited to the pacing, gratuitous (in my opinion) violence and gore at times and just a lack of character development. Despite much of the anime revolving around the female lead just talking I feel as though I hardly know her... or worse yet care whether she lives or dies. That being said this seems to be one of those animes that everyone seems to either love or hate with little middle ground.... maybe you’ll land closer to the love side of things?

Kyoukai no Kanata:

Genres: slice of life, supernatural, fantasy

Synopsis: Mirai Kuriyama is the sole survivor of a clan of Spirit World warriors with the power to employ their blood as weapons. As such, Mirai is tasked with hunting down and killing "youmu"—creatures said to be the manifestation of negative human emotions. One day, while deep in thought on the school roof, Mirai comes across Akihito Kanbara, a rare half-breed of youmu in human form. In a panicked state, she plunges her blood saber into him only to realize that he's an immortal being. From then on, the two form an impromptu friendship that revolves around Mirai constantly trying to kill Akihito, in an effort to boost her own wavering confidence as a Spirit World warrior. Eventually, Akihito also manages to convince her to join the Literary Club, which houses two other powerful Spirit World warriors, Hiroomi and Mitsuki Nase. As the group's bond strengthens, however, so does the tenacity of the youmu around them. Their misadventures will soon turn into a fight for survival as the inevitable release of the most powerful youmu, Beyond the Boundary, approaches. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 7/10

Finished airing in 2013 with a total of 12 episodes.

My Thoughts: One of my favorite female glasses wearers of all time! All the characters are pretty cute actually, thanks in large part to the pretty animation and art. Honestly though i’m struggling to remember much about the plot and story... I recall a bit but not nearly enough to give a proper over view of things.

Kyoukai no Kanata movie 1:

Genres: action, supernatural, fantasy

Synopsis: The first part of a two-part movie. The story is a recap of the TV series. Mirai Kuriyama is the sole survivor of a clan of Spirit World warriors with the power to employ their blood as weapons. As such, Mirai is tasked with hunting down and killing "youmu"—creatures said to be the manifestation of negative human emotions. One day, while deep in thought on the school roof, Mirai comes across Akihito Kanbara, a rare half-breed of youmu in human form. In a panicked state, she plunges her blood saber into him only to realize that he's an immortal being. From then on, the two form an impromptu friendship that revolves around Mirai constantly trying to kill Akihito, in an effort to boost her own wavering confidence as a Spirit World warrior. Eventually, Akihito also manages to convince her to join the Literary Club, which houses two other powerful Spirit World warriors, Hiroomi and Mitsuki Nase. As the group's bond strengthens, however, so does the tenacity of the youmu around them. Their misadventures will soon turn into a fight for survival as the inevitable release of the most powerful youmu, Beyond the Boundary, approaches. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 8/10

A film released in 2015

My Thoughts: It’s a recap which I apparently rated higher then the series... if you could see me right now you’d be quick to note the lazy shrugging. I have no idea what’s going on with my rating’s half of the time. Thinking on the series more I know I absolutely adored the characters, especially the main couple.

Kyoukai no Kanata movie 2:

Genres: fantasy, slice of life, supernatural

Synopsis: After Akihito Kanbara reunites with Mirai Kuriyama—whom he believed had vanished after defeating Beyond the Boundary—he discovers a heartbreaking fact: Mirai has lost all memory of him, their friends, and her past as a Spirit Warrior. Akihito is utterly devastated, but realizes that she has a unique opportunity. Mirai can finally live the life of a normal girl—where she'll be completely devoid of the supernatural society that both shunned and used her. While it's all for the sake of Mirai's happiness, the price is costly—Akihito and his friends must keep her true origins a secret from her, and as a result avoid befriending her. However, the troubling memories of Mirai's old life gradually begin to resurface, and a mysterious new evil leads a group of shadow-like creatures into the city with the goal of seeking her out. As the situations become dire, Akihito must fight to protect himself, his closest friends, and Mirai—the bespectacled beauty he holds most dear. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 8/10

A film released in 2015.

My Thoughts: You’ve already made up your mind about watching this pair of films or the series. Why are you even reading this one!?

#anime #kuroko no Basket #kuzu no honkai #kyoukou suiri #kyoukai no kanata #films #beyond the boundary

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citrinekay · 4 years

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just finished All Our Lies & omg that ending 😭😭 that was so beautifully done Kay!! i think what i loved most about this piece is how well you handle the passage of time, and how you really patiently and realistically followed an organic timeline of love, loss, and love again! i think the decision to have Bill take professional space tied in really well with his inner tension as well as the tension with Holden too. and it gave us that amazing in-the-rain scene...

(i totally couldn't stop thinking about "How You Get the Girl" by Taylor Swift the entire time hahaha.) that love scene tied into the imagery of the storm was so epic and raw, and i loved how palpable the emotion was (especially Holden begging Bill was such a gut punch!! in the best way possible.) i think the final chapter will really stick with me the most, though, because i thought it was a great choice of pacing to lead from a love scene into this vulnerable moment between Bill & Holden. I really appreciate how you handled the subject of childhood sexual abuse, and i think it added really natural depth to Bill's character without feeling cliché at all. what i really love about this story is that it's about more than just Bill & Holden's relationship--it's about self-discovery & healing from trauma & coming to terms with our toxic attachment patterns (which is totally all the shit i love to talk about!!!) this was a rough week & i loved having your writing to escape into! 🥺🥰

Ahh yay I’m so glad you found the time, and that I could offer a little escapism from the current madness of reality 🥰 (omg you and your taylor swift references. For you, i will tolerate her and go listen 😅)

I was telling someone else over on AO3 that I always get really nervous when I decide to write about sensitive topics that I have never attempted to portray before. (same thing with black holes & starlight and the autism one from my prompts). It’s such delicate, possibly triggering subject matter and I never want to write something that’s offensive or hurtful since I don’t have any personal experience in the area. I tried to approach it with as much compassion as I could, but also realism. This is the 1970s. Men don’t talk about sexual abuse, especially not men like Bill who always play the tough guy. In the end, I’m glad I decided to go this way because the story took on a whole new meaning that makes it stand out from other romance stories I’ve written about them. Like you said, it ended up being about more than love - even though love is certainly at the foundation - and more about self-discovery and healing. When you have a trauma like that in childhood, it affects every aspect of your life. Not just romantic relationships, but others, like Bill’s relationship with Brian, and his job, his self-perception, everything. Him taking a leave of absence to work through that trauma was a natural evolution in the story for me. He had welcomed Holden back into his love life, but he still needed to evaluate and heal the other areas of his life that were suffering as a result of his issues. I really thought about ending the story at chapter 8 with the resolution between he and Holden, but I’m glad I ended it where I did. “Ready to get back to work” represented not just Bill’s mental preparedness to go back into the dark, harrowing nature of their job, but also to continue working internally on the questions he needed to answer within himself.

I don’t know that someone can every truly, completely heal from the trauma of sexual abuse, but there’s definitely reason to hope and room for growth and a great deal of recovery. It’s important to know that you’re loved entirely, even with your flaws. I don’t really think of it as a “happy ending” so much as the closing of another chapter while another one opens. That’s the way life works! You keep putting one foot in front of the other, doing your best, until one day you look up and you are in a much better place than you were a year ago, five years ago, decades even. Even if some people who read this story have never been through sexual abuse, I think that’s the bottom-line takeaway that everyone can relate to. I’m so, so happy with the resolution of this story, and I’m glad you enjoyed it! 💕

I’m looking forward to your thoughts on the next one! No huge spoilers, but it’s certainly going to be a departure from the rest of my library. Updates coming soon 😎

#bill x holden #my writing #lowkeystandom

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loveluster · 4 years

Text

Colors

Summary: As a result of the sins you have commited in your last life, you have been thrown from the cycle of reincarnation as punishment. But you’re given a chance to reform, a chance to live and return to the human world. You are entered into a homestay program by your guide, Younghyun, and you’re given 6 months to show your reformation. Find your colors, and learn to live once again.

Genre: Canon divergence, alternate universe, romance, fluff, angst, lost souls, souls, reformation,

Pair: You x Kim Wonpil, Yoon Dowoon x Kim Wonpil

Warnings: tw suicide, overdosing, depression, anxiety, a bit graphic, angst

A/N: Okay, something to keep in mind. This story is taken from the perspective as if you are Dowoon, but do with it as you please, it’s kind of odd so. and everyone will show up eventually. anyways, enjoy!

Chapter 1: Reformation

You stumbled down the center of a darkened room, listening to the sound of your foot steps against the concrete floor echo throughout the room. It had been a desolate void, and you felt nothing but fear and isolation.

I’m dead anyways, so I suppose it doesn’t matter.

As you continued trudging along through the darkness that you felt had stretched on for miles upon miles, faintly, in the distance, you could see a yellow light being emitted, from what seemed to be a door, towards the end of the room.

You continued walking towards the light, your curiosity being your motivation to keep doing so, and the emptiness of this seemingly never ending hell had begun to petrify you.

As you approached the door, you hesitated for a moment, as it was slightly ajar.

There can’t possibly be anything worse than the coldness of this room. You thought to yourself.

Placing your hand against the door gently, you pushed it open, quietly slipping into the room.

There was a singular, dimming light that brightened the room, the walls had been stripped, as well as the wooden floors, pieces of tiles missing from certain areas, there seemed to be a booth? Copious amounts of souls waited in the line, but for what exactly?

They were transparent, lifeless beings that held no energy, no light, they simply existed. For you, that was the determining factor between what is alive and what is not.

You stood uncomfortably beside the door, not wanting to make your present apparent.

Unfortunately for you, a few moments later, a young child was now beginning to approach you, with a tooth grin on his face.

“Congratulations!” He exclaimed, excitement dripping from his voice. You stood silently, confused as to why exactly he was congratulating you.

What?

“You’ve been chosen!” You watched him, skeptically, as he began flipping through the pages of the vintage, brown book he had been clutching against his chest throughout your entire transaction, and landed on was, as he began reading.

“You’re a soul who has died after committing a great sin, but fear not, because you’re being given another chance to return to the human world, and fight! You’re a lucky soul!” The young child cheered, he seemed almost too excited for his sake.

You peered behind the child, looking at the growing line of souls behind him, waiting in front of the booths, not wanting to acknowledge him any further, you attempted to walk past him, but he stepped in front of you, his previous smile forming to that of a frown.

“Eh! Where are you going? If you continue, you’ll be permanently eliminated from the cycle of reincarnation! Are you seriously okay with that?”

That’s quite alright. Allow me to decline.

“Yah! Why’s that?” The boy stepped in front of you once further, observing you closely.

My intuition… rather, I can say it’s too troublesome. Or should I say I wouldn’t want to return to a world like that again.

“Have you forgotten everything on earth? Did you ever have any unhappy memories?” He asked gently, traces of concern evident in his voice, as he tightened his grip on the book, turning his knuckles white.

About that..

“Then it probably shouldn't be a problem!” He retorted, allowing himself to smile once again. “And I’m sorry, but we don’t have any right to decline this offer. Boss’s orders.” The child added.

Boss?

“Yep! He ought to be called the father of everything and anything.” He praised, putting his hand over his chest proudly, looking at you with exaltation.

You looked down at the boy, angel, soul, you weren’t quite sure, a somber expression on your face, making it clear that you would rather fall out of the repetitive cycle of life and death, but it seemed you had no choice.

You’re.. an angel?

“If you’d like to call me that, then sure!” He chorused, giving you an indefinite answer, it was very obvious he wasn’t obligated to share that with you. “Ah! Pardon me, I’ve forgotten to introduce myself, my name is Younghyun, and I’m in charge of guiding you.”

I see.

You didn’t have much of a voice in this matter, and resisting would only prolong this further, so you decided that doing as you were told would be the best course of action. Younghyun gestured for you to follow him, and so, you did. But upon closing your eyes for merely a couple of seconds, your surroundings had changed completely.

You were quite shocked, letting out an exasperated gasp, even the child noticed.

“Oh, I apologize. I should have given warning.” He chuckled, clearly not apologetic, but it wasn’t the time to dwell on it.

You examined the room, instead of a dull, primarily dark and weary room with a depressed atmosphere as before, you now stood in front of a large, rusted metal door, that was illuminated by an orange light, it was rather small, and quite empty as well, creating an unsettling atmosphere.

You trailed closely behind Younghyun, as you both began walking towards the door, he spoke. “This is the gate to the human world, you’ll be living as a young man by the name of Yoon Dowoon.” He stated, before stopping in front of the door, standing slightly to the side.

Who is that Yoon Dowoon?

“I’m not sure, it was the boss's decision,” He shrugged.

He placed his finger against the elevator button, waiting patiently for the door to open. A few moments later, the door slid open, revealing the inside of the elevator, which was very similar to the room itself.

“After you.” Younghyun gestured for you to step inside.

Wait a second. I’m still not..

“Go on now.”

You took a deep breath, looking at the ceiling lamp, and stepping inside of the elevator. And before you had the chance to process the next string of events, the floor had disappeared beneath your feet, and you were now falling at an alarming rate, Younghyun trailing closely behind you as well.

This had been different though, your surroundings felt more realistic, the grey, dreary sky that engulfed everything in sight, the aray of clouds swirling around you, the air rushing in your ears, creating a painful pressure.

Although, it was relieving to finally be free from whatever you called that place of dread, falling from thousands of feet in the air was not how he imagined to start this supposed reformation.

Are you really an angel? Maybe.

Younghyun let out a sincere laugh, that rang throughout, and that did not help your terror whatsoever.

After what felt like an eternity, the clouds started to dissipate, the dull sky is replaced with a deep, blue crystal clear atmosphere. The ground below had a thick forest brush that surrounded the entirety of the city, and within the thick woodland was the bustling people living out there day to day lives, beautiful neon lights, the spectacular architecture of traditional Korean homes, and liveliness of the city.

But even with all this beauty and excitement, the world still seemed so bland.

“Three days ago, Yoon Dowoon allegedly attempted suicide by overdosing on pills. He should be dying soon, and once he’s dead, his soul will leave his body. And you will be able to replace him.” Younghyun explained, as you both directed your attention towards the hospital the boy had been staying in, near the center of Busan.

Merely seconds later, you found yourself lying, attached to copious amounts of machines and medical equipment, in a hospital bed.

You could hear Younghyun’s voice, distantly. “If you succeed in this internship, you will be allowed to continue the cycle of reincarnation, you will be allowed to live again. And I use the word internship referring to this homestay program you’re currently undergoing”

Slowly, you began to peel your eyes open, and as you did, you discovered a middle aged woman, crying beside your bed.

Oh.

“Oh my god, Dowoon-ah, my sweet boy, I’m so sorry.” The hysterical woman choked out, clutching to the hospital comforters, sobbing your side.

“Dowoon has a family of two, his father passing away when he was an infant.”

“Dowoon-ah? Dowoon! Oh my god, you’re alive, oh my god!” The woman began shouting, cupping your cheeks gently, tear streaming down her face, she looked distraught. You couldn’t help but pity her.

“Doctor!” The woman called out, signaling him over, he quickly ran to your side, removing the comforter from your upper body, checking your pulse.

“His pulse returned.” He murmured, shocked. “Connect the EGG, immediately!” He shouted to one of the nurses across the room.

“Oh my god, he came back, he’s really back!” His mother cried out, hysterically, until one of the nurses shooed her away, so that she could properly connect the EGG.

In all honesty, that rest had been a haze, you felt yourself become abnormally exhausted, unable to even lift your head and barely able to keep my eyes open.

“Dowoon, can you hear me?” The doctor asked, hovering over me.

You nodded.

“Can I.. see myself, please.”

Your mother quickly nodded, rummaging through her hand bag, and taking out a small, purple hand mirror, before placing it in front of your face.

You had very sharp features, almost intimidatingly so, sharp eyes, a prominent jaw line, a long nose, with deep, brown eyes. Your collar bones could be seen through the hospital gown, just a bit, you were rather thin, and looked to be about 16 years old.

Suddenly, you felt an excruciating pain in your stomach, the wound on your lower abdomen had felt like somebody had taken a knife, and repeatedly used it to twist your inside. It was awful.

You clamped your hands over your mouth, having the urge to vomit, the nurses and doctors surrounded, all bombarding you with questions.

You looked to the woman standing, worriedly beside the hospital bed.

This is your Mother, her name is Daehyun.

And you are Yoon Dowoon, this is the beginning of your redemption, I’ll be watching.

You felt yourself begin to slip into unconsciousness, until your vision was consumed by an empty black void, and you fell into a state of senselessness.

#fanfic #day6 #day6 dowoon #day6 wonpil #day6 younghyun #day6 sungjin #day6 jae #canon divergence #au #lost souls #redemption #reformation #souls #angst #fluff #dopil

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reb0rned · 5 years

Text

The Witch’s Heir.

Chapter 1.

Summary: After running away from your messy home just to take a break for a bit, you find that the forest in which you used to walk as a child is not what it seemed to be. You also find some strange young men.

Really hope you like it!! This is my first time sharing something I write, so I hope It’s not too terrible. Also I’m spanish, so english is not my first lenguage, sorry in advance! I’m a sucker for Time Travel AUs, and I also love platonic/family relationships, so I figured I would write it myself.

Also there’s no romance yet, but there will be, don’t worry.

Let me know if you want me to tag you on the next one!!

Warnings: a tiny little bit of angst, people pointing at reader with weapons, mentions of a not so healthy relationship with reader’s parents, not very good writing(?).

Pairings: none (yet)

Characters: Álvaro(oc), Catalina(oc), Ragnarssons x Reader

Taglist: @inforapound

Word Count: 2376.

MASTERLIST

Your feet ached from walking at such a hard pace. You were firmly walking towards the cold calm only the forest could offer you, your mind drowned in thoughts of the day behind you. Your parents yells still clawed into your mind so vividly they almost silenced the worried voice of your sister, several steps behind you.

‘’Y/n! Are you deaf?! I said stop!’’ You only wanted to get away and hide. Why couldn’t they understand that? Why couldn’t they just leave you alone? You would come back. You always did. There was nowhere for you to run to anyways.

The thought of it now burning at the back of your head made you turn around, with a serene expression on your face that knew how to perfectly hide your rage. You looked at your sisters dark eyes, waiting for her speech to begin and finally be done with It. You knew your sister was only worried, and you knew how much she hated to be the responsible one, having to be so strict and keeping the situation under control.

You hated having to be controlled almost as much.

‘’Y/n, don’t you understand you can’t just walk into the woods in the middle of the night? What were you thinking?’’ The cold breeze shook her black hair slightly, and her hard expression softened as she caught her breath, looking almost apologetic.

You pursed your lips trying to keep your voice low, for the last thing you wanted was scream at your sister.

‘’What was I thinking? Catalina, I’m thinking that what the fuck is that piece of sh-’’ you let yourself breathe before you kept talking, calming yourself down.

‘’What is he doing in our house? And who let him in?’’

‘’You know who did. Mom did. But you can’t just run off lik-’’ You interrupted her. You knew it was your mother who let him in, and somehow you couldn’t stop yourself from feeling disappointed at her. After all you and your siblings had done for her to get better…

‘’And does he think he gets to just come back?! Does he fucking think he can just appear like nothing happened and smile like he ever was a good father?! Is he that fucking stupid?! Catalina, tell me. Did you call the cops?’’ Now you were definitely yelling. You approached your sister and held her by the arms, looking directly into her eyes.

‘’Of course she didn’t.’’ Another voice made you both turn your heads to find your older brother walking towards you, an unreadable expression on his face. You bit your tongue upon seeing him. You didn’t need his crude comments right now, not when you already were angry.

‘’Mother doesn’t want our help, she has made it very clear, don’t you think?’’ His hard stare met your eyes, and he dared glare at you, that idiot.

‘’And yet she needs it, Álvaro.’’ Catalina spoke solemnly towards him, as if warning him to not say anything he’d later regret. He ignored his older sister, and he leaned against one of the trees. You were now looking at the tree, confusion starting to peek through your angry eyes as your brother spoke again.

‘’Well if she needs it so much then I don’t get why we’re losing our time chasing a spoiled brat who just wants everyone’s attention. Because maybe she doesn’t notice, but running away all alone into the woods like a coward while there’s clearly a conflictive situation going on at home, makes her nothing but a selfish. Little. Baby.’’ Álvaro knew he had struck a nerve just by the way your jaw tensed and your hands dropped into your sides as you clenched them into fists.

You turned on your heels as fast as you could and ran blindly through the forest, tears burning your eyes and blurring your vision. You used the many trees you crossed as support points so you wouldn’t fall. You could be stubborn, you could even be a bit hot-headed sometimes, but you were NOT selfish! How dare he say something like that to you?! You felt betrayed, he knew exactly where to strike, and you hated it.

You heard your sister calling for you, until you heard it no more.

You let yourself rest against one of the trees, catching your breath once you were sure your siblings weren’t at your tail anymore. The humid smell of a rainy day reached your nostrils as you looked up towards the sky. It was no longer night, the sky was darkened by dense clouds, although the sun could be easily spotted behind them. You frowned, confused, as you took your time to analyze your surroundings.

You had ran through this forest since you were a little kid, and yet, you could not recognize anything, not the trees, not the rocks nor the sounds around you. It was like the forest was whispering to you, something you haven’t experienced in a long time, and as much as you tried to connect it to those other times, you couldn’t. The voice was much more alive, muttering and screaming as you pushed yourself from the tree and kept walking towards some place you could recognize. It was useless, and it almost made you more anxious when the unintelligible whispers stopped pounding against your ears, leaving you and the singing of the birds, the rustle of the leaves, the wet sounds your own steps made against the moist soil.

You suddenly heard the angry chirps of some birds as they rapidly bated their wings against the air, getting away from the thing disrupting their peace. You kept walking, suspecting the birds got scared of one of your siblings. You weren’t angry anymore, more like confused and in need of a familiar face. When you heard the sound of grunts, voices and metal against metal you were confused. But still you made your way towards them.

Already thinking about what you were going to say to them, you peeked through some big and dense bushes that kept you from seeing the people behind them.

They were definitely not your siblings.

You held your breath as you observed a group of guys, all dressed weirdly and holding what looked like real weapons. Or at least truly realistic ones. What were they doing there? Hunting? You knew for a fact there wasn’t any animal worth hunting in this forest, and you were pretty sure having weapons like that was illegal.

One of them was sitting, and you noticed his legs were bound together. The other ones were massively tall and well built. You were holding yourself against the weak branches of one of the bushes, so distracted that one of them broke, making you fall right into It, and of course producing enough noise to gain the attention of all the strange looking guys. You sighed, cursing yourself as you got up as fast as you could, patting your backside slightly to get rid of the dirt on your clothes.

Unsure of what to do, you raised your hands, kind of embarrassed as they stared at you warily, some of them had a rather amused expression that only made you even more nervous. You could feel your palms sweating.

‘’Don’t mind me, I was just passing by!’’ You announced, raising your voice as you didn’t want to approach a bunch of possibly armed strangers. You backed away slowly as you watched the biggest one of them give the rest what looked like an exasperated look, and you watched him sighing as the turned to you and began walking, a firm expression on his face. Gulping you sped up your clumsy steps backwards, as you held your hands towards him and shook them, as if telling him to stop. ‘’ I don’t know what you think you are doing, dude, but stop.’’ You managed to stutter, he almost looked amused, did he even understand you? Were they tourists or something? Armed tourists.That was it, you were going to get murdered, or kidnapped, or… Then you felt strong hands holding you firmly, keeping you from moving further. You yelped in surprise and shot your head towards the guy that was holding you.

A new one, just brilliant.

You stood there paralyzed as his intense blue eyes almost pierced your (eye shade) ones. His fluffy and light blond hair tickling your face, and you analysed his face until you noticed the strange shape of one of his pupils. You averted your gaze as his own hardened when he noticed what you were doing, uselessly trying to free yourself from his grip. Your body was trembling, and you hated it, you wanted to scream but your voice was painfully trapped inside your throat, and the fact that none of them was speaking either didn’t help one bit. The big one was now right in front of you, he inspected you with a confused frown while he tugged on your grey sweater, feeling its fabric. You could see the rest of the group cautiously approaching as his hands traveled through your body, patting it boldly as if he was searching for something.

‘’Is she armed, brother?’’ You glanced over the one who spoke. He was almost as tall as the one in front of you, he didn’t have the same blue eyes as him, but he sure stared at you with the same intensity, a smirk plastered on his face. His hair was braided back, it was a darker blond than the one of the man holding you.

You didn’t know if you should feel relieved you actually understood what they were saying.

‘’Armed? No! Of course I’m not armed!’’ The knot in your throat now suddenly untied, as you scoffed and tried to cover your fear with words.

‘’She is not armed.’’ The big one confirmed turning to his brother, you felt kind of offended as they ignored you.

‘’Yeah! So… could you let me go now? I’d like to go back to my house and leave you to…’’ You looked around you, trying to find the words. ‘’whatever you are doing.’’ You turned your head towards the one holding you, begging for him to release you with your eyes. His expression was softer now, and he wasn’t holding you as firmly as before. For a moment, you thought he would release you, but then, you felt the unfamiliar cold sting of a blade against your throat, and in fear of it hurting you, you only glanced to it, bewildered, to later look to the one holding it.

He was in the ground, holding his upper body with one strong hand against the ground while the other was pointed towards you, a long sword on its grasp. You could tell he was tall like the others. You felt your knees hurting from the tension. The weapons, they were real. There was no room for doubt now.

‘’ What are you? A spy? A saxon spy?’’ He spit his words at you, sounding disgusted by the mere idea of it, a hard and intimidating voice, and you furrowed your brows, confused.

‘’A what? What… what are you…?’’ You stammered back. You eyed the rest of them expecting at least one of them to explain what he was saying.

‘’A christian. Are you a christian?’’ The boy that held you spoke, his voice so different from the other, so much softer it almost eased your anxiety a bit.

‘’ No I’m not, I don’t believe in all that.’’ You answered as quickly as you could, hoping they would believe you. ‘’Why? Are you some kind of cult or something?’’

The sword left your neck, although they were still visibly weary.

‘’Some kind of what?’’ The one that smirked at you cocked his head, but before you could think of something to answer, the one that was checking your clothes before spoke, interrupting your thoughts.

‘’If she’s a spy, we should take her to father, he’ll judge her.’’ They all nodded in response and the one that kept you from moving finally released you, only to grab one of your arms so you couldn’t run away. You sighed loudly, notably exasperated.

‘’I’m NOT a spy! If I were do you think I would be so careless as to fall right in front of you like a clumsily stupid child?!’’ You instantly regretted raising your voice like that. You bit your cheek to keep you from ruining your chances to stay alive. But to your surprise, they seemed amused by what you just said.

‘’Then who are you?’’ He said while looking down at you and turning you slightly by your arm so you were facing him.

‘’I’m Y/n, just that.’’ They all frowned, the big one tilted his head, taking a step forward, and he analysed your face, his eyes furrowed. You stood there, an awkward expression on your face.

‘’Where are you from?’’ You didn’t know what to say.

‘’What do you mean? I’m from here, my name is not that weird.’’ You replied defensively. He scoffed.

‘’We have never seen you here.’’ He turned to the others, and they all shrugged and shook their heads to confirm what he said.

‘’Well, obviously! I certainly haven’t ever seen people so weird looking walking around.’’You softly laughed.

‘’Look who’s talking. Your strange clothes barely cover your legs.’’ The smirking young man pointed to your legs with his axe. You looked down to your shorts and softly tugged them down, to cover as much leg as you could, suddenly feeling the cold breeze biting your skin. You shivered softly.

‘’I just want to go back home. It can’t be that far…’’ You began muttering to yourself. You felt the hand that held your arm releasing you, and the owner looked at you with a sympathetic smile.

‘’We’ll take you there. If you’re from here, as you say, then there’s no problem. We just need to make sure you’re not a threat to our village.’’ You tilted your head at his strange way of speaking, as if your town belonged to them. Despite your strange feeling, you nodded, desperate of returning home.

‘’Just don’t point any more weapons at me, thank you.’’

#vikings #vikings reader #time travel #time traveler #ivar #ivar the boneless #ubbe ragnarsson #hvitserk ragnarsson #sigurd snake in the eye #ragnarssons #platonic #fanfic #vikings fanfics #imagine #the witch's heir

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jinxofthedesert · 4 years

Note

Hi there!!! It is the same anon that requested some fic recs ☺ Thank you so much! I may give them a read! They look very interesting! But tbh I'm looking for fics that deal with some more in-depth approach to the twins' psychology and character (I don't mind the romance. In fact, I think it's a really interesting plus to the story when handled well).

(Below this is the rest of the messages, put together. Farther down, below the line, are my responses)

I’ve usually seen that the twins are portrayed as soft, loving and caring guys with their partners without real motives for such drastic change of dynamics in their twisted personalities. I mean, the usual Valeska centered fic goes like this: they meet the OC in Arkham or during their childhood in the circus and for some reason they reunite in the present, and then it is just the twins somehow falling for them, changing their whole way of being and only wanting to bang the OC the whole time (without taking into account the lack of the OC's inner conflict about loving such twisted men, because these OCs usually are "sane" and good people that somehow are dragged into the twins' world and for some reason they just fall in love with them without questioning it). But for me the least realistic thing about these fics is that the twins become super nice guys all of a sudden. I mean of course there can be character develoment and growth (up to a certain point), but I haven't really found a story that contains such deep explanation. Let's face it, they're still psychos no matter what, even if they have a partner. In the last season we get a glimpse of how Jeremiah treats Ecco, someone that he used to appreciate and care for deeply, and she still meant little to him. So it doesn't add up to me when the twins are magically turned into these super sweet caring guys while their twisted, evil and manipulative side is completely ignored. I am not saying they can't love, I am just saying that they surely have their own twisted perception of what love is 🤔 Sorry for my rambling, damn, it took soooooo many comments hahaha!!! OMG, Sorry!😂😂 I had a LOT to say 😂😂😂 But I just find these characters very interesting and I would love to read a story with a more realistic approach to the construction of their personalities (and their twisted way of loving too!). Let me know, please, if you happen to know about some fics/authors 😘 thanks again!

- - - - - - - - - Hi again, anon! I’m sorry my list of content in the previous ask wasn’t exactly what you were looking/hoping for. As of right now, besides the ones I sent you that may delve a little bit below the surface, I can’t think of a true ‘character study’ type story that I have read so far. But, again, I usually stay in the area of romance so I wouldn’t be surprised if there are such fics out there under a different genre.

I’ll be quite honest, it’s been a very long time since I’ve read any oc/(input character here), including ones with the twins. Normally, I forget they exist until someone brings it up or I stumble across one on Tumblr accidentally. I do agree, the twins suddenly changing for an OC (or anyone) can be a bit unrealistic but from my years of reading and writing, creating stories with such things is a bit of ‘wish fulfillment’ which, to be honest, isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes a reader just needs content that is kind of good-feeling type fic (though not in a sense of how murderous the twins can be but in them getting some kind of positivity in their lives, whether it be through an OC or another character in the universe). When I wrote Oc’s at the beginning, it was either wish fulfillment for me or simply just wanting these characters I adored to finally have some kind of happy ending which they probably did not deserve, at all.

A reason you might not find such content is also because, character studies are hard. Especially if you don’t have a complete picture of the character. With the twins, a lot is just coming up with stuff, imaging their past and how it still affects them, even if, on the upper layer we’re shown, doesn’t portray those scars left behind.

With Oc’s, they can usually be pretty hit or miss. It’s not like you’re taking an already known character with known flaws and putting them in your story. Those characters have a foundation already built. For an Oc, the writer has to literally make someone from the ground up, which is equally as hard without making them seem too whiny, too mary-sue like, or just too problematic. This can leave a lot to be desired which can create something unrealistic as well. That’s why I usually only look for content centered around characters from the show, instead of Oc’s; like with Bruce and the twins because canon-wise there is already something there (depending on how you look at it and write it).

In regard to Ecco: firstly, I think it’s arguable what type of relationship she even has with Jeremiah when we first are introduced to them. We’re shown some concern on his end when she’s clearly been hypnotized but this can be seen as a boss concerned for an employee, an employee who he’s probably had for awhile now and is one of the very rare few who he trusts to an extent. However, we just don’t know much of anything about their relationship or past together. She might have hardly seen him, only contacting him through phone calls and text messages; she may have only brought him supplies through the maze and never was in his inner personal areas. This treatment is all possible given how Jeremiah is quite literally a paranoid mess before the spray, no matter how well put-together he appears. And, if we’re to compare this to his eventual obsession with Bruce Wayne, we can take a guess that Jeremiah and Ecco probably didn’t get very deep with this connection they had. Mainly because with just a few compliments, Jeremiah is invested in Bruce, something we don’t see with Ecco before or after the spray. So we have Bruce enter the picture (someone who has run into his twin on multiple occasions, a fact Jeremiah must know to some extent with his paranoia probably leading him to constantly check newspapers and the news for info on Jerome) and, if you look at things from Jeremiah’s perspective, besides complimenting him, Bruce looks at him and only sees Jeremiah. And this would be baffling to Jeremiah if he knows the affect Jerome has had on Bruce, for him to look at Jeremiah and not see his twin after everything would be just as big a compliment as anything because it’s differentiating him from his twin. Someone who has probably feared being compared to his brother, for people to look at him and only see Jerome (such as what occurs with Jim and Harvey only hours prior). Because of this, when compared to Ecco, we can deduce that either their conversations never went in such a direction, or she hardly had the extended physical contact to ever bring up Jerome or compare or compliment. If so, it’s possible with how Jeremiah is that something similar could have happened with Ecco. And this eventually leads into the spray where his only true attachment is not Ecco but with Bruce, especially, after his initial spray, Jeremiah’s hatred for Jerome is far worse than it had been before, making Bruce’s assessment of Jeremiah simply being himself and not his brother, far more endearing as well. So, in comparison to Bruce, Ecco means absolutely nothing to him, a means to an end.

I’ll admit, reading content where the twins are somehow in a relationship (with an oc or canon character) while still being rather insane, are quite interesting. However, for stuff like that to work in a compelling and ‘actual’ way, characters like that have to be bent because these characters logistically working in that kind of environment may never be realistic anyways. This can be worked around of course, but it takes so much time and effort; even now, as I write my stories for Gotham, I’m still trying to work around how to make these ships work for the twins because they’re stubborn and although they have obsessions they, at their cores are not good people and while they may try, seriously try to better themselves, there will always be slip-ups.

I do agree, they can love but it would always be twisted in some way or another (look no further than Jeremiah with Bruce). They’re also a lot of fun to take apart and analyze or try and come up with a type of background that works with all the hints we’ve been given. Background-wise, the twins are really something a writer can make their own which is an interesting concept.

This turned more so into a long ramble of writing and Ocs and lots of Gotham lol but anyways, I wish I could give you a story to fit your needs. I quite hate when I have an itch for certain fics and I either can’t find them or the number of fics is so daunting that I don’t dare even try. I would recommend just going through them, possibly looking for complete content first, or ones with high hits or kudos (depending on the site you’re searching on) because I don’t have any at the moment I can suggest.

(Honestly the ideas for the twins never stop coming lol, perks of their backgrounds and everything else being so hazy.)

I hope some of this message was at least interesting lol and I do wish you luck in finding good twin content that delves into their character or, maybe you’ll get lucky and someone will publish something like that soon! Either way, I hope you find something 😘

#anon ask #anon #Gotham #I don't even know what this became to be honest #I had wayyyy to much time to just think on this answer all day long since i had no access to my computer #and this is what I got lol #Valeska twins #Jeremiah Valeska #Jerome Valeska #Ecco #Wayleska #character study? A little?#oc's #writing #basically oc writing can be really difficult or not #Jeremiah maybe could've had a deeper relationship with Ecco or maybe she just wasn't his type. Who knows #I do stand by my thoughts on him first meeting with Bruce though cause it just adds another layer to his character that I rather like #Gosh I hope this entire message makes as much sense as my brain thinks it does

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dweemeister · 4 years

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When Worlds Collide (1951)

Stop-motion animator György Pál Marczincsak garnered pan-European fame for his pioneering Puppetoons series of short films in the 1930s. Sensing tumult in continental Europe, he fled his native Hungary to Britain as the Nazis rose to power in Germany. With the assistance of Walter Lantz (the creator of Woody Woodpecker), he moved to the United States, changed his name to George Pal, and attained American citizenship. In America, Puppetoons resumed with Paramount Pictures’ financing until 1948. Puppetoons, unlike most stop-motion films, utilized “replacement animation” – a form of stop-motion animation where a new hand-carved, wooden puppet would be used for each photographed frame rather than modifying the same figure for each successive frame. Though Paramount discontinued the series due to its increasing costs, Pal nevertheless remained in good standing with the moviegoing public and the studio’s executives. Transitioning from an animator/director to producer, George Pal took an interest in a genre that – since the silent era’s end – had been relegated to low-budget serial films and comic book stands.

As the world’s nations shuffled to take sides for the Cold War, the United States and the Soviet Union’s greatest engineering and scientific minds were imagining new possibilities in aerospace. The renewed interest in space flight and scientific discovery led to Paramount’s Destination Moon (1950), produced by Pal. Destination Moon was the first film released by a major American studio to consider a speculative human landing on the Moon. For Pal’s follow-up, he purchased a science fiction property gathering dust at Paramount. The property: When Worlds Collide, based on Edwin Balmer and Philip Wylie’s novel of the same name. With acclaimed cinematographer Rudolph Maté (1928’s The Passion of Joan of Arc, 1940’s Foreign Correspondent) as director and providing aesthetic expertise, When Worlds Collide is the origin of all subsequent apocalyptic movies where a celestial body smashes into another celestial body. In two inconsistent films that deem their characters’ humanity as secondary, George Pal rejuvenated an entire film genre in the United States – and Hollywood has never looked back.

In South Africa, astronomer Dr. Emery Bronson (Hayden Rorke) instructs American pilot David Randall (Richard Derr) to pass along confidential, unsealed photographs and research to his American counterpart, Dr. Cole Hendron (Larry Keating). Drs. Bronson and Hendron will warn the United Nations Security Council (UNSC) that a star named Bellus will strike and destroy Earth within a year. Shortly before the projected impact, Bellus’ sole orbiting planet, Zyra, will pass by Earth close enough to wreak gravitational and geologic devastation before the Earth’s ultimate destruction. Bronson and Hendron thus propose the construction of human spaceships – “arks” – to transport human survivors to Zyra just before Bellus arrives. The astronomers are not taken seriously by the UNSC. However, private donors such as wheelchair-bound businessman Sidney Stanton (John Hoyt) provide the necessary funds for the ark’s construction.

Various arks are assembled across Earth, but When Worlds Collide concentrates on the effort spearheaded by Drs. Bronson and Hendron and financed by Stanton. This American ark will also include co-pilot, Dr. George Frye (Stephen Chase), and Dr. Hendron’s daughter/assistant, Joyce (Barbara Rush). Joyce is attracted to David because 1950s science-fiction films always seem to have an obligatory romance.

With an acting lineup filled with B-movie stalwarts and future television stars (who may be recognizable by those who know their ‘50s-‘70s television), When Worlds Collide is hindered by stiff line readings and an emphasis on the mission rather than its human characters. Screenwriter Sydney Boehm (1952’s The Atomic City, 1953’s The Big Heat) has written a procedural screenplay, one where decisions about the ark’s construction, its flightpath, and the selection of its passengers are the film’s primary drama. From that screenplay, only John Hoyt, as the irascible Sydney Stanton, distinguishes himself in the film with his patrician sneering. Disaster films and invasion literature during and prior to the mid-twentieth century typically did not privilege individual viewpoints, and that trends continues in When Worlds Collide.

That is to the film’s benefit and its detriment. It is a mechanical motion picture, with the occasional reminders that humanity, collectively, is staring down its certain destruction. Once Drs. Bronson and Hendron have made their presentation to the UNSC, every character in the film is henceforth defined by the looming apocalypse. Whatever lives they lived outside their work are extinguished in service of constructing the arks. All over the construction facility, numerous signs read:

WASTE ANYTHING EXCEPT TIME TIME IS OUR SHORTEST MATERIAL

The privileged few tasked with the ark’s construction and its piloting are but a fraction of a fraction of humanity. Even among the several hundred persons (unsurprisingly, due to a complete lack of imagination, they are all white) involved, everyone reacts differently to the situation they all share. Some are despairing, believing they have not lived a fulfilling life; some commit to their final purpose, subsuming their emotions in service of a space age Noah’s ark; some are possessive, concluding that their involvement with the ark makes them more worthy than others to embark the ship come doomsday. With precision, the elements comprising the ark’s first and final flight are assembled. Perhaps the most unrealistic aspect of When Worlds Collide is the uncritical adherence to the scientists by the faceless masses who construct the ark (the scientists’ hand-picked survivors are few, but these individuals’ placement on the ark is somehow never questioned). Interpersonal and inter-group conflict does not appear until far later than is realistic – the film’s romantic triangle is devoid of comprehensible motivation other than the fact that the film’s top-billed actor and actress should end up together somehow. Anyways, When Worlds Collide is not depicting a humanity akin to Star Trek at its most utopian. Thus, one must assume there will be at least some level of destructive human ego that confounds the ultimate task. Here the film falters, as the characters become the means to the end.

Maté and Pal choose not to show Zyra’s passing and Bellus’ catastrophic impact. Only their aftermaths are shown. On paper, any similar decision in a modern apocalyptic movie would be hounded across the Internet – but it works for When Worlds Collide. Here, the aftermath of Zyra’s passing is portrayed in a montage of film miniatures, matte paintings (mostly of the ark and its surroundings), and tactful slow-motion. With no computer-generated imagery to assist these scenes, the special effects team outdo themselves. Special effects artists Harry Barndollar (1946’s Cloak and Dagger, 1956’s The Ten Commandments) and Gordon Jennings (1942’s Reap the Wild Wind, 1953’s War of the Worlds) contributed to the miniature-heavy montage of Zyra’s approach. Their colleague, artist Chesley Bonestell (known as the “Father of Modern Space art”, Bonestell also worked on 1941’s Citizen Kane, Destination Moon, and 1953’s War of the Worlds) provided the novel idea of the ark beginning its launch on a one-mile mostly horizontal ramp (the miniature of this ramp was an enormous 700 feet long) rather than the conventional vertical launch.

Zyra’s approach is visceral terror in its timing (the effects are felt several seconds after scientific projections), sharp editing, and mass bedlam. Where the impacting sun will vaporize the Earth’s remaining inhabitants instantly, the passing planet will leave survivors left to wander or repair, perhaps futilely, the pre-apocalyptic wreckage. When Worlds Collide’s final minutes are special effects wizardry, partially redeeming the film of its ill-conceived storytelling and sketchy science. Yet, there could have been more in the film’s final minutes. George Pal envisioned a scene featuring an ark miniature resting on the surface of Zyra. Due to success of Destination Moon, Paramount expedited When Worlds Collide and rejected Pal’s request for an additional $5,000 (almost $50,000 in 2020’s USD) to cap off the Zyra scene. This forced Pal to utilize a Bonestell concept painting instead for Zyra’s surface – and it is too obviously concept art.

When Worlds Collide solidified George Pal as one of Hollywood’s best producers, and Pal already set his eyes on a sequel: After Worlds Collide (based on the novel’s sequel of the same name). But the failure of Conquest of Space (1955) led Paramount to nix the idea. The coming decade saw the Space Race between the Soviet Union and the United States and an explosion in American science-fiction films. Whether these 1950s sci-fi features contained spacefaring, exploration, or alien invasions, they invariably influenced succeeding entries into the genre that have made it dominant in contemporary Hollywood. George Pal, as a producer uniquely suited to special effects animation, became a science fiction and fantasy film innovator in the second half of his career. When Worlds Collide, though seemingly primeval compared to its sci-fi contemporaries a decade or so after, was fortuitous in its timing and for having George Pal as its producer.

My rating: 7/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. Half-points are always rounded down. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog (as of July 1, 2020, tumblr is not permitting certain posts with links to appear on tag pages, so I cannot provide the URL).

For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.

#When Worlds Collide #Rudolph Mate #Rudolph Maté #George Pal #Richard Derr #Barbara Rush #Peter Hansen #John Hoyt #Hayden Rorke #Sydney Boehm #Chesley Bonestell #Harry Barndollar #Gordon Jennings #TCM #My Movie Odyssey

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