#this alien the realest one of them all

[furubabasket]

dunmeshi posting today (spoilers ahead for manga marcille stuff)

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i feel like there is so much to say and analyze about the fact that marcille's biggest--realest--fear is outliving everyone around her... specifically within the world of dungeon meshi that kui has created.

marcille's fear will certainly happen. (maybe not with falin, if her lifespan has been dragonified, but there's no way for us or for falin or marcille to know this yet.) and marcille has already watched every single one of her close friends die--temporarily. sometimes the circumstances have been dicey (or in falin's case nearly impossible) in ways that caused mounting dread and very real fear (in a way that seems uniquely upsetting in a world which has gotten somewhat blase about dungeon deaths--to have casual hope and to lose it), not even mentioning the initial shock, but so far, loss has not been final for marcille in recent years. that makes it hit all the harder when she has to contend with the possibility of falin being Dead For Good (such as when they couldn't find her bones in the dragon's stomach).

the thing that makes me absolutely sick about this is how marcille ends up just... having to swallow that her fear will come to pass. she just has to accept that both the "fix" she hoped for (the possibility of equalizing racial lifespans) is unethical and the "fix" she ALREADY USED (dungeon revivification) is impossible to implement everywhere. she just has to accept that no matter what, even in a world where death and loss isn't always final, she is doomed to experience it anyway or else succumb to the abusive and addictive pull of the demons' "security" like thistle and mithrun. (sidenote: all of the dungeon lords being elves, iirc, is telling and tragic.) I love the ending of dunmeshi and find it so compelling, and yet this is something that sticks out to me as so, so importantly "unresolved" even if I can't fully articulate it. marcille is not over this, and she can't be--while everyone else looks to the future, by definition hers is darker. that's going to take a lot more time to come to terms with. the moral is that whole "eating is the special privilege of the living," right? the moral comes down to "life involves hurting and being hurt, and that is the way of things, no matter how we run from it... but that doesn't have to be soul-crushingly depressing." marcille's friends are aware of the burden she has. they talk with her about her fears and comfort her without minimizing them. they help her feel less alone in what is a completely alienating existence. it's so fucking sad. it's horrifically sad! she got to save falin--but for how long? she got to save falin--but what about the next one? she got to save falin--why is that okay, but she isn't allowed to "have" everyone else? saving falin was only possible because of the help of a demon and forbidden magic, and while it's presented creepily, as readers we're certainly meant to root for falin's return. it's a "good" thing. it's the entire point of the first act, and the entire point of the very last. it's the good ending. it's happy! it's hard-won! and yet marcille needs to learn to accept death.

this dissonance is intentional, of course, and that's what makes it so fucking interesting. of course marcille goes crazy for a second. of course she struggles and obsesses. everyone else, functionally, gets to have what she wants! everyone else gets to "have" the dead now, no strings attached, no abnormal amount of future grief to carry. (for the opposite, past loss, imagine being kabru: being raised from the dead--watching your friends get casually revived--paying for the privilege--and thinking of your long-dead mother, who didn't get this chance, and wondering how easy it could have been.) in the future, when marcille's losses come, the dungeon's rules won't be around to protect her anymore from that cold, dull finality. it'll be real when it wasn't before. and she just has to be cool with that. man. MAN.

#marcille donato #marcille dungeon meshi #dunmeshi spoilers #falin touden #i have extra feelings about this having lost a friend young in real life #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon

[shitpostingkats]

Hi yes I need you to know that your analysis on Jaden and Yusei (June 16, 2022, idk if you’ve done multiple on them but that’s the one I’m talking about) is the realest thing I have EVER read and you’re so right and you should say it MUCH louder that is the greatest take op it’s amazing and I’m screaming /pos

Jaden is my favorite character like,,,, ever, and you have nailed him I’m going bonkers

Another thing, I love your Groupchat AU but you have made me become aware that there is???? Another???? YGO show????? I was like who on God’s Green Earth is Yudias and then Google attacked me with information. I still remember. When Vrains was new. To me Vrains is still new. It came out 6 years ago. I feel old. I am not okay. I have yet to acknowledge the existence of Sevens and will continue to do so with Go Rush. Oh I got off-topic, whoops-

Anyways, love your Groupchat AU but I saw the one part with the Eldritch language that Jaden and Yuya are both fluent in and I humbly request more of their dynamic???

I had an epiphany last night, they’re so similar I’m actually losing my mind. All I can think about is that one audio of Batman and that girl on the swings and it’s like “They got their weapon, I got cheated out of my childhood” “I know what that’s like.” “You do don’t you?” Tell me that’s not them I am dying /pos

Much love <3

Oh my gosh, thank you! <3

Jaden and Yusei, my beloved blorbit. The painfully monstrous and the painfully human. The narrative foils of all time. Jaden Yuki, the creatchur autism boi of all time. <3 I need to write about them more.

I know what you mean about the new shows. I'm still a ways off from watching them, but I still want to remember they exist but keep forgetting. What do you means vrains is six years old??? (<- was not even a yugioh fan when vrains was airing) You're telling me there's probably going to be new one after that??? That the days start coming and they don't stop coming?????

Shoutouts to the sevens and go rush fans. They are the mightiest of soldiers. I know nothing about their shows but I'm hesitantly penciling them into the groupchat au anyways because I have seen maybe three clips but I know this funny little alien guy is near and dear to my heart.

Obviously there's a bit of a shift between Vrains and the Sevens era, being made for new audiences, a little tone shifting (which we LOVE, because any franchise that stays the same forever is no bueno.) and that makes it easy to group the first six shows into one group. But I also think there's a fascinating dialogue between shows 1-3 and shows 4-6. I didn't realize it until I was a good way into Arc-V, but each of the second trilogy protagonists sorta reflects the first three.

With Yuma and Yugi, it's very purposeful, a stated "return to form" with the chipper kid and his ghost companion who lives in his special necklace. And when I was gushing over Yusei in 5Ds, I got a lot of people saying "Man, you're going to love Yusaku." They're both the rbf hacker protags who fight the government. Lots to love.

But Jaden and Yuya????? Did not imagine I would come out of Arc-V going "omg they're foils. They're the same story through a different lens. They need to TALK to eachother and bond over their shared experiences."

Even leaving out my pet theory of "Zarc Was An Incarnation Of Jaden In The Original Timeline", they're just so. *clenches fist* The childhood trauma of being a weird kids and masking with an overly bubbly personality only to learn the great anger they've been trying to hide is powerful enough to rip apart reality and they're secretly harbingers of destruction.

By the end of GX, I think Jaden has wonderfully come to term with that. By the end of Arc-V, I think Yuya hasn't.

Their dynamic in the gc AU is very much to me Yuya is still struggling with Z-arc stuff, but not saying anything about it because that'd be weird, so he just kinda frets about it until he hits a breaking point and Jaden gets to offer his advice on dealing with all this.

I am so interested in exploring this that it actually got me started writing fic again,,, which I haven't done in like a year, so wish me luck. I'll keep y'all updated :)

Angst aside, they're also just. One braincell between them. Theatre kid and guy who has never once acted natural in his entire life. Kid making a scene at a Waffle House while his friend slowly eats the entire menu and offers suggestions. Jaden is a pokemon fan and Yuya is a kingdom hearts girlie, I've decided this, and they takes turns infodumping to each other. Jaden summons duel spirits so Yuya can ride around on Hiphippo even when he's not dueling. They trade funny things they've heard their dragons say. They're eldritch and inhuman and best friends, your honor.

#I know this is long #otherwise I would have started rambling on my 'Zarc was an incarnation of Jaden' theory #but yeah. <3 I care them. #thank you so much for sending in such a lovely ask #I love hearing from people just as yugioh brainwormed as I and yall are so nice #asks #answered asks #yugioh #ygo #yugioh gx #yugioh 5ds #yugioh arc v #ygo gx #ygo arc v #jaden yuki #yusei fudo #yuya sakaki

[strawberrybabydog]

I'm a physically nonhuman identifying dog and to see the hatred we get is absolutely insane. I'm personally not delusional/psychotic/etc. but sanism plays such a massive role. They really want to make themselves palatable to "normal" people as if we aren't all the same boatload of freaks to them. The average schmuck still thinks furries = otherkin.

this is exactly what i mean !!! do they think they're gonna get a reward for being the most realest-ever otherkin for posting anti-physically identifying nonhuman? do they think ~The Greymuzzle~ will descent from the heavens and crown them the Best Therian Ever Of All Time for purposefully alienating an entire chunk of their community?

if you are a young alterhuman in my audience, heed my ancient word: the rabbit who feeds wolves the other rabbits is still a rabbit in the end. what happens when you are the only rabbit left in front of an audience of drooling wolves? are you still proud of being "the only good one"?

#alterhuman #asks #'asks' i tag this post as if i do not ask several questions in all of my posts #i find talking to people this way is usually thought-provoking though and thats really the idea here :0) #dogcourse

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Oh my fucking godddd I just had the funniest thought ever 😭you know how u were talking about satoru and his cuteness aggression earlier….. him biting ur cheeks n stuff…. What about reader with cuteness aggression. This is even funnier if reader is nowhere NEAR as strong as stsg because I’m just imaging like. Squishing satorus cheeks and staring at him with heart eyes then suddenly blurting out “toru you’re so cute :)) I literally want to strangle you :D” because he’s probably like??? Twice your height + size and the literal strongest sorcerer, there’s no WAY you could kill him even if you wanted to <//333 or or or just chomping his bicep out of nowhere. I’m not gonna lie he would probably just let you <//333 silly little loser. Would probably compare you to a chihuahua I’m not gonna lie 😭😭 like yes you just bit him!!!!! And yes he thinks it’s cute why wouldn’t he!!! just coos at you when u try and chew on him. He’s so frustratingly charming and funny and and and <///333 but I think. This is equally as funny with sugu because satoru is so lovesick that he really does not care how you show your affection he just thinks it’s a cute n silly part of ur character <333 just makes him swoon even more. But sugu i think would be equally fine with it deep down but jokingly judge you a bit depending on his mood. Like if u try biting his arm or saying something like “you’re so beautiful I’m going to beat u up ❤️❤️❤️” he just 🤨🤨🤨 “that’s not very nice.” (Doesn’t mean he’s gonna stop u doing it tho) LMFAOOOO but like…. Maybe when he’s a little sleepier or feeling a bit more gentle he just. (gently) cups/pinches ur cheeks 😞 tilts ur head up to look at him and just gently chuckles n shakes his head n says something like how he’s gonna have to muzzle you if u keep trying to eat him 💔💔💔 maybe his tone is a little condescending….. in a mommy way,, (lovingly) (jokingly) lectures you as if you’re a teething toddler that just keeps biting and chomping on everything. 😭😭 pats ur hair and smooths his hand down the back of ur head while he does it….. ok I’m going insane. my silly little babies. My angels. I need to bite their man boobs I mean what who said that !!!!!!!!!!

— stsg anon 👽👽👽 (alien version)

STSG ANON (alien version) MY SAVIOR……….. it’s crazy how the stsg hivemind works bc i was literally JUST thinking abt biting their arms

YOU’RE INSANEEEE (EXTREMELY affectionate) THIS IS SO . 😵‍💫😵‍💫 they’re so…… this is the realest thing EVER 2 me btw. reader w cuteness aggression!!!! they’re me!!!!!!!! i know you understand stsg anon but likeee who wouldn’t want to gnaw at their bones a bit……. maybe shake them around…….. they’re just so gorgeous and cute </3 how is a girlie (gn) to resist </3 </3 </3

i hope you realize how up my alley this is i started jumping and cheering when i saw it you really do know me and them better than anyone else… THEY WOULD ABSOLUTELY INDULGE YOU. ohhhh satoru would love it sm 😭😭😭 i think being called cute would fluster him a bit at first bc he just. isn’t used to it at alllll but he’s such a sucker for it…… he’s so strong your biting wouldn’t hurt him at all so i really do think he’d just let you go wild. chew at his chest all you want stsg anon he’ll simply chuckle and ruffle your hair <333

AND SUGU 😭😭😭😭😭 WAHHHHH I CRIED I SOBBED……… so real abt him jokingly judging you he literally becomes the 🤨 emoji personified (but on the inside he’s just ☺️)……. “that’s not very nice.” OHHH STSG ANON MY STSG WHISPERER the way you’re literally psychologically linked w them…… he would say that word for word w one single raised eyebrow and a barely contained smile and i would explode into pieces 💔💔💔 aaaa and the eepy gentle sugu 🥺🥺 tilting your head up n pinching your cheek…….

just gently chuckles n shakes his head n says something like how he’s gonna have to muzzle you if u keep trying to eat him 💔💔💔 maybe his tone is a little condescending….. in a mommy way,, (lovingly) (jokingly) lectures you as if you’re a teething toddler that just keeps biting and chomping on everything. 😭😭 pats ur hair and smooths his hand down the back of ur head while he does it…..

needed to copy+paste this bc i . do Not have the words to explain how crazy it made me. r you out to get me stsg anon…. was this your plan all along……. 😞😞 AAAARRGHHHHH I’M . NOT OKAY. NOT THE MOMMY!SUGU AGENDA PLS WARN ME NEXT TIME I ALMOST EXPLODED 😭😭😭😭 HHH THE COOING CONDESCENSION………. jokes abt needing to MUZZLE you……….. (ari has been found dead in a ditch) thank you for my life stsg anon thank you for existing thank you for blessing me w your giant brain i truly don’t deserve you . gna think about this all day 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

no but :((((( insanity aside!!! i adore this concept,.. it’s so sweet and cute and they would just eat it up!!! they’re soooo indulgent and adoring and i think they’d feel so oddly loved every time they feel you gnawing at their bicep 😭😭 they just think you’re the cutest thing!!!!

#“i need to bite their man boobs” SPEAK YOUR TRUTHHHH all stsg stans want this …. #this made me question things abt myself btw #i would let sugu muzzle me i think. just for a minute or two . just for science yk #tysm for the lovely thoughts stsg anon….. as always!!! :3 i hope you’re doing well and that the sun is shining for you!!! #mwah mwah many kisses from ari (robot version) 🤖🤖🤖 #ask tag ✩ #stsg anon !! ✩

[amyyythestarry]

Neurotypical Friends

I really really really hope that this year I will be able to find neurodivergent friends, because quite actually I’m sick of neurotypicals.

Last school year when I started realizing I may be autistic I had only told one friend of mine that ( T ). T understood me a little ( Of course they still were a little ableist-ic and told me that “I didn’t act autistic/look autistic” ) but they try not to be like that and I can tell.

WITH MY OTHER FRIENDS THOUGH, I told them months after T and the only responses I got were “Your not autistic, your normal” “You can’t be autistic, you act just fine” ect and one of them just laughed and thought I was being ridiculous.

I was really sad and p1ssed off bc I really didn’t ask for their opinion on my confession, I just wanted them to see me as me and not judge me for that. But, seeing as I was wrong, I cried and regretted even telling them in the first place.

I have to keep telling myself that they just see don’t/won’t get it, neurotypicals don’t get it and the only ones who will actually accept me for that are other neurodivergents.

I really hope that I meet newer, nicer people and ones that are on the same neurological level as me. Bc honestly I’m so tired of being misunderstood, it’s just a terrible feeling. I feel like I’m an alien disguising as a human having to follow all the rules humans created, and the ones they think are ‘normal’. Heck, their views on ‘normal’ are f’d up. Seriously.

Like, I’m still friends with them bc honestly they are the realest friends I’ve ever had and I can’t get myself to let people like them go, but their just so misunderstanding.

#autism tag #autism stuff #self diagnosed autism #autism #autistic #neuordiversity #neurodivergent characters #neurodiverse stuff #neurodivergent tag #autism vent #vent post #tw vent #new school

[therealestpodcast]

REALEST PODCASTER: 2/2

“YOU GOT RIPE TIDE IN MIND, I MOVE SO FAR IN TIME, IVE BEEN WHIPPED UP ALL NIGHT.” - Trance; Metro Boomin.

Di’ona “ona” is a remarkable personality who exudes confidence, responsibility, and wit. Her comebacks are on point and admired by many. When it comes to being well-spoken and funny, she is simply unbeatable. Her quick-witted humor and ability to keep bits and jokes going for a long time make her an absolute delight to be around. Despite being too good at being fake mean, Ona manages to make everyone feel included. She has a unique way of being blunt, which can be a good thing since some people need to hear the truth. She will always let you know when she has to, and you can count on her to be honest with you at all times.

One of the most endearing qualities of Ona is her goofiness. She has a way of making everything a fun time, and her presence can lighten up even the most mundane situations. She is an expert at taking the edge off and making people feel comfortable. Ona is also very sociable and has a talent for making everyone feel included and cared for. Whether it is through teasing and messing with her friends or engaging in gossip, she knows how to make people feel valued.

Ona's ability to connect with people instantly is uncanny. She just knows exactly what to say to cheer someone up, to be real with them, or even to make fun of them a little. Her instant connection with people is a rare quality, and it is something that people admire about her. She has a way of making people feel comfortable and at ease around her, which is a testament to her sociable nature.

Despite her many admirable traits, Ona is also very sweet. She has a heart of gold and is always looking out for the well-being of others. Her upfront and honest nature is a breath of fresh air, and people appreciate her for it. All in all, Ona is a remarkable person with many admirable qualities, and it is no wonder why people are drawn to her.

Jae: “Okay so then… Ona are you listening?”

Ona: “What? Oh yeah, I just thought it would be more interesting.”

Jae: “What? Ona there’s ALIENS. A real alien abduction happened.”

Ona: “What? Aliens? Don’t piss me off right now”

all creds to @valstarroz / @southparkam !!!

#TRP: episodes #spirit archive series #The Realest Podcast #south park #south park ocs #jaeona podcast

[johnwicklover1999]

i think one of the realest things i ever said while complaining about the stanley parable fandom was, "BEAUTY STANDARDS ARE THE DEATH OF INDIVIDUALITY! SEX IS FOR THE INDIVIDUAL NOT THE OVERALL!"

i was talking to several friends about some of my complaints about a lot of the obnoxious and uncreative repetition in 'newer' tsp artists and said the hardest fucking thing of my life.

anyways, i was right. a lot of the charm and creativity stanley parable art had is fading in favor of monotonous posts that are all skinny anime twink softcore. i don't have much to say at the moment other than thoughtless word salad but i must say, as someone who draws the narrator as a short, fat, mixed race man (with many more complex headcanons <3) it is a bit alienating(?) to see such a sudden loss in good content, which does make the thought of posting my art a bit nervewracking! it's definitely disheartening to see a favor for conventional beauty standards for a game that has never once been conventional.

the stanley parable definitely has interesting takes on ideas of attraction, which is focused solely around objects. this can open up to things like objectum sexuality and whatnot, something that would be really wonderful to see a fandom explore. in the end, it isn't all about what is and isn't attractive in the game itself- it's about people losing the ability to actually appreciate something for what it is, especially when it comes down to a story with complex themes. no one wants to appreciate a story, they want to take the characters at shallow face values and sexualize them to hell and back. bit disappointing!

#the stanley parable #stanley parable #the narrator #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #the stanley parable narrator #tsp #tspud #brutus hater rants #<- new tag for these kinds of posts #brutus.txt

[inside-the-tardis]

The DREAM Journal

and God am I so gratified to be able to write this today.

Let me explain why.

Dreams are a luxury. Dreams are my mind looking at itself and Oh boy it is beautiful.

Dreams are how I meet myself.

But here's the realest of tea, I've not had a dream in 6 years now. Why? You ask.

Oh it's simple. I'm inebriated out of my fucking mind on most days.

Until of course, lately when I decided to live my life on my terms.

and the dreams did come and HOW.

Welcome to the astral plane, welcome to my mind. Nothing makes sense as it is supposed to.

The first dream nagging me is the one I had last night. (The eve of 25th June)

and it was, hilariously, related to my job.

It seemed I had gotten drunk and pulled a stunt with a boy, while he was at work. While he was at MY workplace. My colleague.

And it was a good, beautiful stunt but it left me rather speechless. It also seemed that everybody knew about it and alienated me for quite some time. But the fact was that I did something inappropriate with a work place colleague that caused both of us to lose our jobs.

And I've never dreamt about this colleague before and I've never given him the thought of day before, but now I wonder. 💀

and now I ask, am I onto a path?

Or is this, very stupidly, just a reflection of me and how closely I guard this job I have.

Obviously I would never pull such a stunt, but the possibilities has my mind reeling. I need to lay low, however.

Dreams are after all, nothing but dreams, and one must not make more of them than already is.

Another dream, more recent has featured a lot of people from my past.

A particular boy for instance. This dream happened perhaps the 12th of July.

It wasn't about him and it definitely didn't begin that way, but as the dream progressed, the lens zoomed into us and I saw mostly myself watching made up memories with him. It makes sense too, since he's the quiet, aloof kind. A tropical Gemini, perhaps a sidereal Taurus, which would explain all the cooking for me. I could truly never again allow someone to get this close. What a disaster it is to love and live.

Another day another dream. (27th July)

I spend all day refuting major truth. But dreams come to tell me what's going on in my mind. I don't remember much but it seemed my old Gemini friend makes a comeback. I hate it when he's in my dreams.

Unfinished business? Who knows?

[sheathandshear]

Feels like the realest divide in society when it comes to sexual violence isn't survivors/perpetrators, it's survivors/observers. Survivors and the people looking at them going, "Oh, if that were me, I have no idea what I'd do, you're so brave, I can't imagine keeping it together like you have." (Or "you're just complaining for nothing, I can't imagine wanting attention so much that I'd do that.") The colored and the untouched; the transformed and the original. And it's a really weird thing to have stood on one side of that line for as long as I've been aware of it going, "I can't imagine what it's like to be like that" and wholeheartedly believing it, and now, thirteen years after the fact, realizing that I had claim to the other side of that line all along, and the experiences I thought were so incomprehensibly alien and exotic that survivors might as well belong to another species were... my experiences, basically.

#survivorship #we're liveblogging this sorry

[palettes-and-prompts]

and if you've got the time could you also do prompt for computer guy (also by savlonic) thank you also you don't have to

Sure thing!

1) "Maybe I am a robot, maybe every part of my body is artificial, but my love for you is real." "You were programmed to feel every emotion. This is just part of that. It isn't real." "It's probably the realest thing about me."

2) "Take Person A to the next planet. I'll try to hold off the bounty hunters."

3) "Why are they after us?" "Because one of us, not naming any names, got a chip implanted in their body with the location and crimes committed by the worlds worst criminals on it." "I feel like we're talking about me." "Of course we're talking about you, Person A!"

4) "You're up against Person A, you sure you can beat them?" "Person A's a human. I'm a machine. This will be nothing."

5) "You're cocky for a machine." "You programmed me that way."

6) "I think I liked you better when you didn't have a body. A lot easier to keep up with."

7) "The government is chasing us because of a cat." "What?" "I don't have time to explain, just pick up some cat food and meet me at the station."

8) "You...you have guns in your arms." "I'm kind of a cyborg." "Cool."

9) "Can you fix them?" "Yeah, but they're gonna look a little different." "How different?" "They'll be a cyborg like me."

10) "You have to know how to fix this!" "I'm not a super genius, I fixed your laptop one time and all I did was remove the viruses. I don't know how to write code!"

1) Person A is a regular human who suffers an accident and wakes up in the future with partially robotic parts that wont seem to move. When they go out they notice a lot of people look like them or are aliens. Person B is a person skilled with robotics and specializes in prosthetics, immediately falling in love with Person A's old school robotic parts. The two become friends and decide to figure out who did this to Person A.

2) Person A is a space ship with enough intelligence to kill the world but instead just wants to be able to have a body so they can go out into the world and find love. Person B is a human who's saved by the ship who happens to be really good at making robots.

3) Person A and Person B have been searching for a treasure hidden by Person A's grandparents. When they find it they discover the treasure is a robotic dragon alive and ordered to protect Person A at all costs.

4) Person A and Person B find a time machine and end up in the future where the find that they're both wanted criminals.

5) Person A has had a perfect life until they find out that their entire family are a bunch of AIs created for them to have a happy and fulfilling life. When the find out they tell their best friend, Person B, who tells them their family is too. The two of them find out that the government has been trying to stop them from remembering their past lives and keep them from uncovering the truth about the powers they possess and what they're truly capable of.

#prompts #writer #fic prompts #space prompts #futuristic prompts #write #robot au #otp prompts #prompts based on songs #writing #song prompts

[donutloverxo]

White horse

Authors note- title is inspired by the song by taylor swift. happy reading💕

here’s part two

Please do not steal or repost my content. Reblogs are welcome.

Summary- It takes you almost dying for you to confess your love to Steve

Tw: life threatening situations, guns

masterlist

Steve Rogers was perfect. There was literally nothing wrong with him. He was unlike anyone you had ever met. He opened doors for you, he was respectful, and just so gosh darn cute! When he'd scratch his neck, a blush creeping up whenever you put your hand on his thigh or said handsome he was.

He was unlike anyone you had ever met or dated. Although the bar for that is pretty low. He was supportive of your career. Often encouraging you to make decisions that scare you. He took care of you without making you feel small. He was an amazing listener who didn't mind listening to your rambles or rants at all.

He reminded you of a golden retriever. Mostly because of the golden hair and how he'd pout and make puppy eyes whenever something didn't go his way. Also because he was fiercly loyal, attentive and fun to be around.

Sure he had his flaws. Like how he absolutely did not think before acting or how reckless and stubborn he was. Or how he always has to have things a certain way. You can't keep the wet towel on the sofa or it will get wet. Or how you can't wear your shoes inside his apartment.

But you didn't mind these flaws one bit. You barely even considered them flaws, he was absolutely flawless and amazing in your eyes. You loved him with all your heart and being. But then... why couldn't you say it?

"Wait so... he's a wolf?", steve asked turning from the screen and looking at you. You both had been cuddling and watching the twilight series to cross it off his list. You thought this kind of movie wouldn't be his cup of tea but you were surprised to see him so absorbed in it.

"Yeah he's a werewolf. A human who can turn into a wolf on command. They're not real though"

"You never know. I didn't think aliens were real but then.." You were interrupted by your timer going off.

You quickly got up and put on your oven mitts to remove your lasagna from the oven. Steve followed behind you.

"What's this?"

"Oh I figured I'd cook some lasagna for you. You said you really liked it remember?", you replied putting the lasagna down on the dinning table. "Maybe we should let it cool down a bit. What do you say?" You looked up at him.

He stalked towards you and bent his neck to get closer to your face.

"Y/n... This is.. I know you don't like cooking so much. You didn't have to do this for me you know?"

"I know. But I just felt like doing something for you. Taking care of you, you know?", you smiled up at him nervously. You had taken a risk doing this. What if he didn't like your cooking? You were sure he'd appreciate the effort, but still..

"Doll... You don't have to do anything for me. But thank you so much for this. I love you", the words rolled off his tongue easily.

You stared at him dumbfounded, shocked and put on the spot. Maybe he doesn't realise what he had said. You didn't know if he expected you to say it back.

"I... ", you stopped yourself being rendered speechless. He looked at you expectedly. "We should probably eat before this gets cold" You said and averted you gaze and started setting the table.

The rest of the evening was a bit awkward but you hadn't mentioned it since. It was best to act as if nothing had happened. Probably.

After trying to put on your fake lashes for the fifteenth time you finally give up. You had been going out for a girls night with Nat and some other friends to a club. You picked up your phone to see a text from Steve.

Hey doll just got back. You wanna grab some dinner?

No, I'm sorry I'm going out with Nat.

Oh don't worry about it. Have fun. Be sure to call me when you get back.

There it was. His perfectness. Still worrying about you and being so protective over you. It made you feel warm but strangely scared at the same time. What would it mean if you just let someone take care of you or give into them? What if you lose yourself in the process? Or what if he takes advantage of your trust.

You sighed and sent him some kissy faces putting your phone in your clutch.

He was such a caring kind soul. You wish you could just say you loved him and showed him off to the entire world.

But the last time you had declared your love and gave your everything to someone, you ended up with a broken heart.

You knew Steve would never break your heart or do anything to hurt you, but he was a superhero and you were just an engineer. Your circumstances were anything but normal. So many things could go wrong.

He had women throwing themselves at him. Not just because he's captain america but also because he's Steve. Kind, caring, sweet and amazing Steve.

You knew he'd never cheat on you, but how long will it take him to realise he's out of your league, or how he deserves so much more than a broken person who doesn't understand his worth.

"Why are you so gloomy? ", Natasha asked and broke you out of your train of thoughts.

You hadn't told anyone about you relationship. It was all too new and you weren't ready to go down to HR just yet.

Part of you didn't believe it was real. Maybe you were waiting for something to go wrong. But it was so real. It was the realest thing you had ever felt.

"Oh you know... just work I guess" You half heartedly lied. Nat must've known something was up. She wouldn't suggest just hitting up a club, it wasn't her scene. She'd much rather catch up with you in a quite cafe.

"Mm-hm", she said clearly not believing you.

Maybe she planed to get you drunk to have you spilling your secrets.

The club was cramped with people. You could only get in because Nats name was on the list. One of the benefits of being an Avenger. The music was piercing your ears. You both managed to get drinks and grab a seat.

You tried to ask Nat to start dancing but she couldn't hear you over the loud music. You followed her gaze and saw suspicious looking men staring at you both from the vip lounge.

They were surrounded by big bodyguards and women. They looked like they were upto no good.

"Nat what's wrong?", you asked her getting more worried by the minute.

"I'm not sure. I think we should get out of here", you recognised the alarmed look on her face. You had seen it on Steve multiple times. Sometimes he would assess and analyze everything around him, look at all the exits, prepare for the worst. He wouldn't even let you sleep near his bedrooms door in case someone broke in at night, he'd want to protect you. He probably thought you didn't notice it but you did. You just chose not to acknowledge it not wanting to embarrass him.

"Ok", you agreed with her and tried to calm yourself. You both got up and ready to leave but were stopped by two huge guys.

"Black widow", one of them said and stared you both down. He had a sinister smirk on his face. "You made a huge mistake coming here", his threatening words were a huge contrast to his friendly tone and body language. "Follow us if you don't want to cause a scene"

"Actually I think we'll just leave", she retorted and held his gaze. You looked at the ground, not exactly sure what you were supposed to do.

"Please I insist. We wouldn't want to hurt these innocent people", he said nodding at his friends in the vip lounge.

"Alright", she smiled and leaned in to whisper in your ear "get out"

"Oh no no", he chuckled "she's coming with us"

"She's got nothing to do with you", you felt her getting stiff. You knew Nat was strong but even she couldn't take on so many men at once.

"She's not walking out of here either", he said. They both escorted you and Nat to a private room. You could barely see anything in the dim red light. There was a pole in middle of the room. You could see glitter and empty bottles everywhere.

You tapped your foot anxiously on the floor. Nat held your hand and gave you a small smile.

"It'll be okay, I promise", she whispered. You trusted her, you really did but how could either of you get out of this situation?

You saw some more men dressed in suits come on. One of them gave Nat a smile.

"Hey there Natalia remember me? You sent me to prison?"

"I don't remember every pest I crush", she snarked. Usually you were a fan of her snarky witty remarks, but now was really not the time or the place.

"Who's this?", he asked gesturing towards you. "Since when do you have friends?", you stared at an empty champagne bottle, to avoid his gaze, as if it was the most interesting thing you had ever seen. "Listen lady, Natalie is really not someone you would want to have as a friend. She'll stab you in your back without thinking twice."

You shut your eyes as hard as you could, wanting to be anywhere but here. "Hey", he scolds you using his gun to lift up your chin. "Look at me when I'm talking to you, will ya?"

"What do you want?" Nat asks desperately.

Tears start streaming down your face. You felt pathetic and small. How did you even get here?

Before you knew it all men in the room were shot down. You saw arrows sticking from their backs. That distracted the man holding a gum to your face. He turned around confused.

Nat kicked him in his shin and took the gun from him. Holding it to his head. "Guess who's going back to prison"

You sat there flabbergasted, not really processing what just happened around you.

"Hey there", you looked up and saw Clint with a few agents following him. "It's almost like you like getting in trouble."

"Thanks for that", she smiled at him " Hey you alright?", she asked you "I sent an sos to Clint. Not that I needed his help" to which Clint scoffed.

You nodded. "Good thinking"

"Steve's waiting outside for you. It took a lot of convincing to make him stay there", Clint said.

"What's Steve doing here?" Nat asked him. She wasn't even sure if you had ever met Steve.

"Oh you don't know", he giggled "she's his girlfriend! Sam owes me ten bucks. I knew he had a girl."

"Oh", she mused and looked at you her lips in a straight line pursed together.

"I'm sorry I should've told you", you smile at her sheepishly. "Can I go see him?"

***

You open the door and see him standing in the middle of the hallway. His hair disheveled, he was pressing his ear likely talking into the comms. The frown on his face sooths when he looks at you.

He starts walking towards you opening his arms. You run into them, grab his biceps and crash your lips onto his. Your teeth clash and hurt, it may not have been the most sophisticated reunion. You pull away a bit to look at him. He was smiling down at you. He looked exhausted, relieved and terrified all at the same time. You caress you cheeks and hold his face.

How could you have ever have mistrusted this man? He'd never hurt you, even if you didn't believe in anything else you had faith in him. You were more than willing to take this leap of trust, building a wall around your heart is no way to live. Especially when life is so short.

"I love you", you blurt and tears start flowing from your eyes " I've loved you since I met you. I was stupid to not say it before. I'm so sorry"

Steve wipes your tears and cradles your face. "Hey, it's ok. You said it now that's all that matters. I love you too" he says and you beam at him. "I just wish the first time you said it wasn't in front of Tony." he continues.

You look to your right and see Tony sitting on the sofa in the waiting area. Oh well, cats out of the bag now.

"Steve.. Tch tch" He starts shaking his head disapprovingly "you're stealing the nations youth. Craddle-robber"

Well you can't date Captain America without there being some teasing about it.

"Alright Tony" Steve says and smiles. You never liked how Tony was always so mean to Steve or how Steve never clapped back at him.

"Y/n, I thought you didn't like old men taking advantage of younger girls." He says with a shit eating grin on his face.

"Yeah well at least I have a boyfriend" You huffed and looked at Steve deciding to ignore him for now.

Maybe it was a petty to bring up Tony's myraid of commitment and intimacy issues but now that you're going to be official it was your duty to protect your man.

"We better get ourselves ready huh?" Steve asks still smiling. He couldn't bring himself to care about Tony he was just happy to have you in his arms. He decided he was never going to let you go.

#steve rogers fluff #steve rogers smut #steve rogers headcanon #steve rogers x oc #steve rogers fic #reader x steve rogers #steve rogers alphabet #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #tony stark x you #tony stark x reader #natasha romanov x reader #avengers x reader #marvel x reader #marvel x you #steve rogers angst #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers drabble #steve rogers #captain america x you #captain america fluff #captain america x reader #captain america drabble #captain america #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader #chris evans

[vilegroove]

Lyrics from 'Dark Tales From The Insulation Booth' (03/31/21)

For all those hip-hop purists and anyone wanting to get down with that Hank Solo lingo.

STEM CELL RESEARCH

It goes counterintelligence, Berenstein psy-op Schwarzschild radius, holographic mind job I’m a ticking time bomb stuck inside this nightmare It’s warfare for the welfare of the poor From tenement to parliament the charlatans of artifice In shadows stocking armaments or ornaments with arguments Coordinates are carpeted while Harlequins are marketed Unfortunate subordinates are targeted by Artemis I sit solo, spit a mental freestyle No polo, UH I spent it on these re-fries Meanwhile I filleth up the syllabus In real time and if I spill enough to pick it up I just might reach minds Smash atoms, push phantoms into chasms Is it a random happenstance Or a predetermined anthem? Step inside a web this some spider vs fly shit Step into a world this some Illuminati eye shit What would you do if you had no shoes? And you had no rules and you had no school? What would you choose? If the choice ain’t yours Ain’t your chore, Ain’t your war, Ain’t your battle, Ain’t your fight You’re just standing in line man waiting to die They pulling strings with grizzled fingers While the stem cell research helps them linger Tempers up, fear the farming In a cave under threat of a terror bombing Nails clawing, the cause of flesh wounds Supply and demand panoramic cesspools Inhale jet fuel on the way to school man Chemtrails forming the new pollutant Confusing the students and keeping them stupid Obtuse attitudes, man, these dudes be ruthless On point to the point I barricade the joint Inhale, exhale man this tasters choice Blue bloods eschew mud, chew cud like us cattle We battered and bruised up but we still fucking battle Never let em get to you - Ask me bout the subterfuge War and peace entwining in an ever whirling centrifuge Veteran rookie: Dichotomy so sue me Used to Hank Solo now I roar like Wookie

SHARK TANK (feat. CHIEFFY)

[VERSE 1 - HANK]

Christ I get wicked when I'm alone and I'm lit Smoke clones and then spit till I foam at the lips My ego cast a shadow that could cause an eclipse And I can't get through doors cause my head won't fit I'm starvin' like Marvin, lookin' for a target I'm barkin' dark jargon like I'm stalkin' park joggers My though pattern is laced with dark matter Fight alien races is space an spark blaster I spit lines for like minds who smoke kind I write rhymes with weight that warp space time Ante-up I'm about to erupt Krakatoa flow all over Like I'm bustin' a nut, spray paint Jackson Pollock All over her gut - Dirty Harry on the mic But you ain't sweeping me up I'm a sad sap but I can rhyme not half bad Cause I been mixing words since I was sperm Inside my dads sack Yakkity-Yak Don't talk back, as a matter of fact Rewind the track back so you can practice your rap I'm high gloss your skills are not polished You're whack and lack knowledge Go back to clown college - Fuck taxes, pay homage I'm glad you acknowledged Hank is just flawless I'm bank your just wallet

[MAIN HOOK × 2]

I'm cold like deep space I master this pace Knock you flat face In fact my sharp skates Cut circles round you lark fakes Question what marks make Shave you to carp flakes For use in my shark tank

[BRIDGE - CHIEFFY]

Let’s jump in it, I’m with it I’m finna kill it and stay I've been the realest Since dealers was Shitting diapers away Blank face I don’t keep it at bay

[VERSE 2 - CHIEFFY]

No whale watching, I’m hopping But no landing, I’m offing to each planet I’m locked in, nigga said I’m a Martian You niggas fandom, I’m popping But got plans to just pop him I’m a man no ones stopping Fire plans imma watch them gain Burn away just like Mary Jane I put away, she too nice for days, make way Cause I’m burning all the mainframes No place to lay I ain’t keeping all you plain janes Just some grams and Violas In my denim jeans, we keep it real Chef Chief serving up them fiends. Mother Fucker.

[MAIN HOOK × 2]

Hank: Alright, let's go home

Jay: One more take

LET ME TELL YOU (feat. AQUAKULTRE)

[VERSE 1 - HANK SOLO]

Calling all cars, calling all cars check No red on neck no death stars left Cloud nine? Found my rye moldy Back bent over like a lawn chair folding Cats maw scolding, guts on fire Eyes why at the sky as the pyre grows higher Seems unwind from his old grey coat, Whether freestyle rhyme or line from a note Spine unaligned all in a twist, Time on a line s'all in the wrist Hood up, man-boobs, thyroid leaking, Ballpoint sketch like a fanboy geeking I'm open in the middle I'm closed at both ends I'm a villain to my family I'm a hero to my friends Grasp at the last straw sinner to his kin, Juxtapose foes who just oppose this.

[HOOK - ARETHA FRANKLIN]

People let me tell you, I work hard every day I get up out of bed, and put on my clothes 'Cuz I got bills to pay

[VERSE 2 - AQUAKULTRE]

(Don't fall a-haha) When we drive, we feeling all the trees get the breezin The Cuts is Vile, I like the way he mistreat em I can give 'em bars a plenty that’s critical but I'd rather heal with words, that’s medicinal It's time to give a good vibration Break bread and conversate over good libations The frustration no hesitation, will arise Higher then a peregrine falcon in the sky Peace to the nieces and nephews I raise And the son I don't got, father figure I stay You know we got it, I figured I be The Martyr For working class guppies Just tryna make it to supper And we keep it very clever, Uh HUH, yo Whatever the case I waste no time Serving em with a taste But foist let me put on on my woirk boots and grab a dairy milk before I make it to curfew We Breezing

Juxtapose foes who just oppose this.

DOWNLOAD FOR FREE AT VILEGROOVE.BANDCAMP.COM

#lyrics #hip hop lyrics #emceelife #dartmouth hip hop #youtube #vile groove #hip hop #groove #underground hip hop #halifax #ambient #mashup #free music #hank solo #chieffy #dartmouth rap #halifax rap #instrumental #halifax hip hop #halifax music

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

[ ooc: ep 4 liveblog & opinions under the cut! this one got long winded because I had a lot that I was thinking about (and it took me twice the length of the episode to actually watch through it because I kept pausing to type oops) ]

yeeeesh that’s one way to start. thank you for letting bucky cry.

but also the look of pride on her face when she says “you are free” they’ve been working so hard and she’s so happy with the progress bucky has made ;_;

and now she’s so betrayed :(

but I’m also so glad Bucky learned xhosa that’s super important! <3 part of decolonization of the past involves respecting and learning and propagating languages and cultures that have been trodden over. Wakanda has been something of a safe place in that regard, and are now doing the outreach to help their continent and the world, but it takes the world of people within the majority putting in the effort and learning and embracing those cultures and languages (without appropriation, which I know is a fine line to walk sometimes) in order to really make progress. once it is no longer alien, it is also no longer scary, and can be held in proper esteem.

“sweet of you” shut your mouth Zemo xD

“she’s just a kid” thank you for your compassion Sam. and while she’s an extremist, I’m not sure whether Karli counts as a supremacist or just a terrorist? maybe she counts as genocidal if she’s truly trying to restore things to Blip conditions but it’s kind of unclear.

“the serum never corrupted Steve” “touché” YO EVEN HE ADMITS IT

Sam’s understanding of cultural habits (and there are many overlaps between various cultures and the ways they mourn) is such an asset here, and I’m glad that they’re pulling a contrast between the tech-driven, cold, calculating predictions made by certain people and organizations in other parts of Marvel and the general sort of soulful and instinctive approach here

Turkish delight. Excuse me but Narnia cemented the idea in so many people’s heads that it is this magical thing but it’s like superglue in your mouth. It is not irresistible, Zemo.

Legislation and social change as a result of violent action is nothing new. Every peaceful protest has been backed up by some kind of harm, whether it be economic, like a boycott, or physical, either damage to property or lives. I think instinctively people understand this, but it’s good to see it put in the spotlight.

Sam is “stranger danger” to these kids :/

“I know what happens when people say they’re going to help out... nothing.” Ouch.

The way Sam’s gaze falls at that too, because he knows theoretically that a lot of these injustices are happening and can empathize, but practically hearing it hurts. He doesn’t like not being trusted either, but I think he can probably understand why.

Zemo playing that psychology game! Kids love food and the idea that he must be a good person just for having a kid is dumb as hell but something that kids would gravitate towards. Smart man. Doubly smart for not telling them, Nat would approve if she didn’t hate him :P

Sam de-escalating is gonna be a trend I can just see it.

Cherry blossom tea? Interesting choice.

SHARON HI 

Nat vc: gosh it’s nice to see someone competent around here. 

ooooh they’re really reinforcing the idea of Captain America being a figurehead that inspires people

“heroes these days don’t have the luxury of keeping their hands clean” yeah well it’s because Steve had people like Bucky and Nat do do his dirty work, but sure

“all the people history just left out” OW

okay first of all Sam being the one who is insisting on reasoning with them because he knows what it’s like to come from an oppressed people !!! he knows grief and trauma !!! he can do this !!!!! I just know Walker is gonna fuck it up for them :P

second, Walker trying to emotionally manipulate Bucky? it’s a testament to how far he’s come that he doesn’t punch the guy immediately lol

Hoskins being the voice of reason as a foil for Walker again what?! this version of Lamar isn’t nearly as terrible as I expected.

Zemo calling that itty bitty girl his associate xD He really does understand the people here though... aaaand he’s getting handcuffed. Totally didn’t see that coming (he’ll probably break free anyway)

The conversation between Karli & Sam ;_; 

“you’re either brilliant or hopelessly optimistic” “por quo no los dos.gif”

Walker trying to guilt Bucky again god he’s so dumb. I appreciate the fact that he’s ruthless but he’s so narrow minded in how he approaches problems. oh no I have an issue let’s punch it until it dies! come on man.

Karli is so heartbreakingly naive and that’s becoming more and more obvious. I love Sam opening her up like this wow.

WALKER FUCKING IT UP AS ALWAYS

and the cuffs empty WHAT DID I TELL YOU

god we were getting somewhere ;____;

oh good just what we need, serum in Walker’s hands. he was already awful he doesn’t need to be more awful gdi

“we separate them and then we kill Captain America” ...yes, we’re listening xD

I know crazy because I am crazy... oh boy we got some internalized stuff, but let’s play it off

still a little blame game going in terms of where the shield ended up I see

THE DORA MILAJE ARE HERE -swoon-

pOINTY STICKS I cackled oh boy he gonna get his ass WHOOPED

Sam is enjoying the hell out of this

Zemo watching and drinking

“Looking strong, John!” “Bucky”

oooh dear they tangling and Zemo’s getting away.

your arm’s off! no it’s not

WAIT WHAT DID AYO SAY BEFORE SHE SAID JAMES

they all got their asses kicked ah well. also the look on Walker’s face says he gonna serum himself up, the lil fucker. oh no someone’s better than you how will your ego ever survive.

a lil Battlestar logo!!! shut up that’s cute. they’re really making him halfway likeable here.

“power just makes a person more of themselves”

ohhhh okay time to unlock Walker’s traumatic backstory. at least he feels bad about the things he did. at least he knows that those medals of honor are covered in blood. people are at least partly made by their circumstances, and I wonder what he was like before the war. the only indication we have of it is him being a football star, and while I may not have had the best track record with those in my youth, that doesn’t mean there aren’t decent ones out there...

Sarah’s “my world doesn’t matter to America, so why should I care about its mascot?” Oh, we’re speaking to the disenfranchisement of marginalized people hardcore today okay. if anyone’s gotten this far in my overly long commentary I want you to know that this is the realest alright? it’s hard to be proud of a country and its symbols when it doesn’t do right by you, when the majority doesn’t do right by you. am I glad I was born here? sure. are there worse places to be? sure. am I proud to be an american? oof, man, don’t ask me that.

Karli is not pulling her punches, she’s threatening the whole fam. Sam isn’t gonna like that... He sounds like he’s trying to suppress panic instead of being angry on the phone call with Sarah. I think he understands what Karli is trying to do, even though he hates how. And he’s worried, because he’s always gonna be worried. Poor guy. And there’s the confrontation.

Sharon got their backs!

Oof, seeing the gun with the shield.

Gunshot, run, oh, listening, he’s already got the serum, maybe? Given how deeply that shield is embedded in the wall I’m gonna say yes. YUP I WAS RIGHT.

Something about the water dripping and Lemar’s face makes me think he may have been waterboarded at some point :( but maybe he’s just in a lot of pain.

THE KNIFE CATCH. YES YES YES. THE KNIFE FLIP. Nat is so hearteyes.

Ooh, we gotta upgrade that wingpack with Stark repulsors pls go Sam go

oh no. Lemar. fuck. FUCK.

oh good now you’ve done it. killing a guy as Captain America. fuck.

the blood on the shield as the last shot! ~cinematography~

hoooo I’m chilled. I knew something along these lines was coming but oof. 

#onyx watches fatws #out of the red; #fatws spoilers #cw: death #cw: blood #cw: racism #cw: ptsd #cw: torture

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket 2019 (ep,24) Part 1

 A monster? suicide? child’s verbal abuse? destructive rage? despair? emotional scene? tons of tears? questionable director choices?.. This 20min ep has it all!  Although this ep contain fictional creature & magic, it is one of the realest episodes in furuba, yet. 

 Kyo’s monster represent the psychological abuse of children in toxic families. Unlike kyo’s zodiac form, the cat, this monster is an alien creature that doesn’t resemble anything in nature (inducing fear), it is misshapen, deformed, reeks of rotten smell (inducing disgust), dangerously powerful (life-threatening). A child is repeatedly told that he has committed the biggest sin there is. Murder. “you killed your mother”, or “you are the reason she died”  He’s been told that by many ppl, including the person who symbolized safety & trust (his father). It is so disgusting yet real & common when adults talk bad/gossip about children within a close distance. children take words literally & hold them in their hearts for a life time! Kyo screams “It is not my fault!”, but adults say so, whose faults is it then? “the rat!” Why? “he’s the one who tricked the cat”. Who is the rat? Yuki. A child is trying to rationalize the injustice & stupid accusations of the adults. 

“I’ll kill yuki, then kill myself, you would be happy if I die, won’t you?” This is the most tragic sentence in furuba, yet. More tragic cuz it is uttered by a child. A child believes since I’m a killer, then I’ll fix the problem, I’ll kill the source of pain, the rat, yuki, Tragic. I’ll kill myself. So tragic. You’d be happy, father. Extremely tragic. knowing your parent would be happy if you died. Kyo’s mom killed herself, it is her choice, regardless of the hidden reasons or her mental state, he’s told that Your parent chose death over you. How horrible are you that your mother chose death over you. You turn into a literal monster. No doubt the kyo’s mom loved him, but it is so tragic that she herself abused her child unintentionally. by sheltering, locking, hiding him away from the world. Kyo’s monologue is a real depiction of children’s ability to see fake-ness in adults. I love you,son, continues to lock him, I’m not afraid, continue to check his beads, I’m proud of you, no one should see you. No wonder kyo has no trust in ppl.

Kyo harming tohru is a real depiction of his broken mental & emotional state. look at Yuki/Kisa, their response to abuse is to withdraw, hurt themselves by avoiding life, they are like destructive water, has to fill the inside first before it spills. Kyo’s response is rage, it is like fire, spreads outside & inside at once. There is conflicting feelings inside him that drives him crazy, He denies strongly that he killed his mom, but feels tremendous guilt she’s not alive becuz he’s monster. He says there is no hope for him, yet continues to live with tohru wishing she never discovers his true form, says he’ll kill yuki, yet he never grabs a knife & do it. He is fighting his abuse but doesn’t know how. Moreover, I love that tohru approaching kyo in such state of rage is not a safe choice. Realistically, try to approach an angry father/friend, they’ll hurt you in their rage, They are not in a state that make them make a good judgment. I have a feeling kyo might’ve hurt himself as well. He lost his trust in kazuma & thinks tohru is safer away from him, he would definitely hurt himself had tohru didn’t “save” him.

How did tohru save kyo? she didn’t. Did she tell him he’s not a monster or that it’ll be okay or you’re a good person? NO. She didn’t even talk about him! she talked about herself, her desire, “let’s go home”..” I want us to live , worry & study together” screw the sohma’s & all the pain, lets go home! “I’ll listen if you complain” why? cuz you did that to me! she’s implying you are needed without saying it out loud! “I’m scared of you” honesty, No fake-ness, no shallow words with contradictory actions. So, kyo hugs tohru intentionally & this is big coming from kyo!! The guy who flinches whenever someone touches him, hates to show weakness & vulnerability, wants to be strong & doesn’t allow himself to cry. Cries in front of tohru, hugs her, puts his hand through her hair, & calls her name..... This is a huge step!! he completely accepts tohru. She knew it, she felt it & her tears expressed it.

Kyo’s monologue is directed to the viewers. “this is how you melt the ugly feelings” with kindness, honesty & sincerity.  Kyo is not healed, yet. he can still transform into a monster, meaning the abuse is still affecting him strongly. but he is giving hope & someone to trust.  kyo’s last words are painful cuz they show how low he thinks of himself “ how is it that someone like you stay by me & cry for me”.. he still has a long way.

side notes:

kyo’s ” i dont have right, it is a mistake” that tohru is by him, why?

Kyo said “tohru” with no honorifics. When is yuki’s turn? Cant wait!

I have a strong criticism abt the director’s choices, but will write it in a separate post. hint: “shallow waters”......sigh~

I’m convinced now that if there’s romantic love, it is kyo & tohru. This ep & the previous one is purely about them showcasing their vulnerability exclusively to each other. tohru’s weakness is only seen by kyo & kyo’s tears are only seen by tohru. There is an equal showcase of need & support between them.

If yuki/tohru is going to be presented as a possible romantic love, then, the show must convince me strongly & equally. yuki has shared his weakness with tohru, but tohru is yet to share with yuki.

If the show wants to go the love triangle road with one of the boys ending up as unrequited love, then it can be either one of them depending on what tragic drama will happen.

The beauty & the beast theme is strong. Tohru tamed the monster with sincerity & kindness. Such beautiful strength within weakness! ugh!! Tohru is my all time fave female character!

I’ll talk about kazuma/ yuki/shigure/kagura’s reactions in another post.

I love the diverse depiction of response towards abuse by children in furuba. so real.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #long post! #emotional paper #part 1

[jenomark]

Hey it me I was wondering what your softest fantasies about the boys are like what ideal tiny softness do you associate or wish you could have with NCT drink enough water bye 🍊

Taeil: Falling asleep with him is a big one. Not even just holding each other or anything like that, but falling asleep in the same bed. I imagine big fluffy blankets and the sun going down, Taeil’s breathing slowing down and my hand reaching for his.

Johnny: Meeting his parents and seeing his family home for myself. Doyoung and Mark really stole my whole fantasy huh. Enjoying a meal with his family and eating food is probably my biggest one.

Taeyong: God, I just want to play with his hair. I don’t even care if it’s dead, I just want to feel it in my hands. I want him to sit on a floor while I sit on a couch, and he puts his head back in my lap, and I brush the hair from his forehead. And then I want to put little clips in his hair, and then we’ll eat snacks and he’ll show me animal videos on his phone.

Yuta: I want to go to an outdoor food market with him in the early morning and look around. I want it to be summer and I want everyone to look happy. I want him to stop and buy me food on sticks, and then we’ll walk around talking about life. I’ll make him laugh.

Kun: He teaches me magic tricks in the early morning because we both can’t sleep. His hair is a mess and his eyes are so sleepy, but he’s got a deck of cards and a lot of patience. 

Doyoung: Cuddling him while he’s wearing that sweater he was wearing in that one vlive he did last year with Mark & Jungwoo. Every time I’m not feeling well, I think how nice it would feel to lean on him emotionally and physically. If I am being honest, Doyoung’s the member who brings me the most comfort.

Ten: My softest fantasy is the one where I meet him and he likes me right away. I’m terrified he won’t like me, so I think a lot about my first impression. I would love if I was a person that he trusted and confided in. 

Jaehyun: Bowling with him is my softest fantasy. I spent a lot of my childhood in a bowling alley, and every time I’m in one, it feels almost magical. I would love to bowl with him (and beat his ass), eat really shitty alley food, and play arcade games.

WinWin: Going shopping with him. I don’t like clothes shopping for myself, but I think I would like if it were for WinWin. He could try on clothes and show me how he looks in them, and then ask my opinions on whether he should buy them or not.

Jungwoo: Being near him is enough for me, but I have so many fantasies that revolve around him. My biggest fantasy involves my arm touching his, his soft hairs tickling my skin. Lying in grass looking up at the stars, him so close to me that I can feel his body heat, can hear his breathing. I would love going out to eat with him and just watching him eat his weight in food. I also want to travel the world with him, looking out of train windows and holding his hand.

Lucas: This might be weird, but I want to be his wing-woman. I would love going out to a bar with Lucas and helping him find a nice girl to meet. I would genuinely enjoy his company, even if he just wanted to sit inside and watch movies.

Mark: Honestly, my softest fantasy is just watching him do what he loves to do. It would make me happy to see Mark writing in his diary at a table, his mind completely lost to his thoughts. Or, I would love to watch him record albums in the studio. If he asked my opinion on his lyrics, I would probably explode from happiness.

Xiaojun: He’s playing guitar while I’m trying to sleep. He makes up lyrics that are funny and I laugh. I end up rolling over and watching him play, and the smile on his face is very cute.

Hendery: Most of my fantasies with Hendery also involve Ten in some way. I would love to hang out with both of them at the same time, just talking and laughing. 

Renjun: Talking about space and aliens and ghosts with him, while Jaehyun is in the background listening and he’s getting angrier by the minute. Seeing Renjun get so excited about someone entertaining all of his thoughts would make me happy. I would love being his genuine friend. 

Jeno:  Petting cats with Jeno. Petting dogs with Jeno. Petting any and all animals with Jeno. The fantasy definitely involves cats, and Jeno’s always talking to them in a baby voice.

Haechan: Getting absolutely hammered with him is my fantasy. I know it’s not the softest, but it’s the realest. I can imagine us being tipsy on the walk home, him talking loudly and not realizing it, me trying to tease him, but failing. Then, we would go back home and get really drunk, end up talking about nonsense, and then passing out on the couch.

Jaemin: Doing charity work with him is a big one. Getting to help people and getting to do it with Jaemin is something I think about often. He has such a big heart, and I would really love to sit and hear his ideas about how he wants to change the world. 

YangYang: It involves Germany, a farm, and meeting little animals. He would teach me words he thought I would like in his language, we’d sit on a stone wall, our boots muddy, our minds thinking about food, and we’d just talk.

Chenle: Any moment where I can tell him how much he’s loved and how well he’s doing is my fantasy. I would also really love if he planned a day of fun things to do and we just hung out. I think Chenle is someone that would take me outside of my comfort zone and really challenge my fears.

Jisung: Dancing with Jisung is my softest and best fantasy. I love to dance, and I love thinking about how our styles would match. I would seriously kill to spend hours upon hours perfecting a routine together, ordering in food and sitting on the practice room floor. 

#Anonymous #asks #about nicki #jisung #chenle #yangyang #jaemin #haechan #jeno #renjun #hendery #xiaojun #mark #lucas #winwin #jaehyun #jungwoo #ten #doyoung #kun #yuta #taeyong #johnny #taeil #🍊 anon #im...soft

[amateurasstrologer]

THE HOUSES #2 URANUS

You all know how I feel about the Transcendental crew. Uranus is #1 on the Transcendental scene, and when you can consciously work with this bad boy, the energy triggers transformative brilliance and other worldly intuition. But, Uranus vibes are fast as fuck, so if you're not up for hopping on that crazy train, Uranus energy can end up feeling upsetting, unsettling, and random as fuck. Here's the T1 breakdown:

FIRST HOUSE URANUS (1)

Never ending self-transformation.

Uranus in the first got you feelin like you're part of a continuous cycle of self-transformation. Every experience flows into the next and these people feel like they're riding wave after wave of positive change. Intuition level 3000. The issue? Little babies with this placement need a lot of support early in life or they can end up feeling like freaks and alienating themselves from society. If you're one of those always dissatisfied types, you can end up just feeling restless. Gotta keep a positive mental framework to squeeze the shit out of this placement.

SECOND HOUSE URANUS (2)

Full time job fucking loving yourself.

This placement gives you a wild ability to literally feel (2nd house, Taurus) creative energy pulsing through you. This gives these individuals deep deep feeling-insights into their own potential. They got the power. They want to shake shit up and restructure the status quo. Gotta keep focused on using your power for the greater good, or run the risk of becoming feeling junkies getting off on their own power at their own leisure.

THIRD HOUSE URANUS (3)

Smart-as-shit free thinking wizard of learning.

Third house is always dealing with your environment. When Trancendental 1 shows up in the 3rd house, we got someone who's hyper-sensitive to their every day life. These babies need to develop their ideas about freedom, which can give them the confidence to revolutionize and (re)organize their mind and soul. A new kind of learner. An underlying sense of not fitting in with their environment triggers this whole process, so if these people don't have the confidence to take charge of their situation, they can end up feeling restless and resentful towards their living situation and life in general.

FOURTH HOUSE URANUS (4)

Developing the deepest, most stable inner space imaginable.

This is a tricky placement!! But the rewards are high if handled with class. These people got emotional intelligence working on a crazy level. The key? They must, must trust their intuition. Forget trusting in any outside authority. Not trusting their intuition is not an option if these freaks wanna thrive in their lives. They're wading through fake-ass shit to get to their deepest, realest identity. And what type of deep shit are they wading through? Raw emotions. When these guys don't sit with themselves regularly and make an effort to regulate their feelings, they can become so restless that they start feeding on unhealthy emotions and let their entire life disintegrate. Uh oh. Gotta hold onto yourself, people.

FIFTH HOUSE URANUS (5)

Other worldly self-expression and positivity.

Fifth house Uranus supports ridiculous creative abilities and brilliant self-expression. It gives individuals the push to meet crisis with a positive attitude and keep pushing for new potentials and joyful living. When you're not aware of the Uranus influence here, you're at risk for expressing yourself wildly in an uncentered way. These people can develop unrealistic expectations for themselves and a heavy attraction to hype shit. Must stay grounded in yourself and allow self-expression to flow freely from your core, nowhere else!!

SIXTH HOUSE URANUS (6)

Crisis control and positive life reformer.

Uranus here gifts you with a special ability to focus and work through crisis. When they're working it, these people want to change things for the greater good and take their life in new directions. Wonderful experimenters, they're clever as fuck when it comes to making positive changes from an ugly-ass situation. People must be aware of their ability to focus and curate social change, or else they can unconsciously get their blinders on and forge ahead at all costs. Clever methods can become straight up evil methods, or people can act good purely out of fear of being labeled a "bad person," instead of acting freely from their own ideas.

SEVENTH HOUSE URANUS (7)

Influential social presence, free living and trend setter.

This is very a powerful position for T1. These individuals feel an urge to transform the mindsets of their peers and beyond that, their entire generation. Loving relationships are the means to changing people's consciousness. These guys need to be leaders in their relationships and set a positive, loving tone. When these people are overcome with insecurity or fear, they end up using criticism and subtle manipulation to control their loved ones. They must remain positive at all costs, especially in the face of little upsets and life changes, or else they can run into instability and end up struggling in relationships, feeling unfulfilled, or feeling like a victim.

EIGHTH HOUSE URANUS (8)

Fresh starts, new beginnings and bad-ass illuminations.

An interesting spot for Uranus, these people are pros at facilitating their own, and others', spiritual renewal. They can empower others to use crisis to fuel self-renewal, and have a strong desire to oversee postitive social change in big ways. They need to check their strong desire for social transformation, or they run the risk of getting out of control and using force, coercion, or (in extreme cases) violence to see their own insights through. With compassion on their side, these little helpers can heal broken relationships and refresh all of society.

NINTH HOUSE URANUS (9)

The Pope or not.

Ninth house Uranus babies have an urge to challenge traditional values and break free of old-ass social conventions. Remember, Sag loves symbolism. These guys utilize symbols to regulate self-transformation in times of crisis. For example, if one of these babes is going through big, life altering changes, she might hang on to the idea of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly to hold her down through the entire process. 9th house Uranus wants to create new symbols to inspire everyone to transform. The struggle comes when these babies get too rigid in their thinking and force dogmatic ideologies or controlling religious values onto everyone else. Good intentions, bad impact.

TENTH HOUSE URANUS (10)

The Social Power House.

This is another powerful social position for Uranus. These people can feel like their public life has been zapped with a lightning bolt of crazy energy. 10th house ladies and gentlemen feel urged to adopt particular social roles to exemplify revolutionary ideas or lifestyles. These motherfuckers want to bring on the revolution. It's important (as with any other 10th house planet) that these people keep in mind the social responsibility that comes with this position. Ugly behavior comes out when these folks use their social influence to push their own agenda or feed their own personal desires.

ELEVENTH HOUSE URANUS (11)

Next level Sage or next level selfish.

Ah yes, Trancendental 1's home position. Uranus here does what it does best: promotes social change. These individuals want so badly to bring on new collective goals and social reforms. These little sages and teachers promote big changes that are inclusive and useful for everyone. They can make people feel free. But, it's not all good all the time – Uranus can also do what it does second best in this position: be selfish as fuck. If these people start to feel like their messages aren't getting across, they run the risk of becoming isolated adventures who use their brilliance and unique experiences to better their own lives only, without giving a fuck about whether or not they pass learned insights onto others.

TWELFTH HOUSE URANUS (12)

Developing new social values and collective responsibility.

Twelfth house placements always give you the ability to focus 100% on the greater good. Here, Uranus develops deep feelings of responsibility for all of humanity, which urges these people to think up new social values to help reorganize society into a more compassionate, better functioning whole. These guys genuinely want all people to live a quality life, and can use their intuition and personal genius to make that shit a reality. Issues arise when these people feel like society owes them something for being a pioneer. Then they can become dramatic as fuck and glamorize their relationship to the world. Not a cute look.

Happy reforming, Astrology bitches. Wake up!!

XO BULLSHIT FREE ASTROLOGY

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