#this is a draft i hollowed out to put a new post in

[tiktaalic]

Does YOUR ice cream have an elf girl with a terrible hairline vacuum sealed boobs and abs? That’s what I thought. Don’t fuck with me

#etxt #I tried posting this four times to no avail. #and not my post button doesn’t work. I cannot make new posts. #this is a draft i hollowed out to put a new post in

[wispscribbles]

Mw3 spoilers (just a long personal ramble)

Hiii. So

As soon as the pre-release came out on, I hunted down spoilers, because I know myself and knew that if someone died and I got that information out of the blue, I wouldn’t take it well. Jokes on me, because I still haven’t been taking it well lol

I won’t talk about how Soap’s death was handled or the quality of the game. Plenty of smarter people are doing so.

I try not to talk a lot about myself and irl stuff on here, but will just say: I am very unwell, mentally. (Cue silence because that’s not surprising at all) Something I am very aware that I do, is that I latch onto fiction with my whole being, usually one specific character. For some reason, I always latch onto the character that ends up dead, usually in a way that make them only exist to further the motivations of other characters. It sucks.

So my hope for Soap has never been great, but for some reason I was still so shocked?? I don’t know, I tricked myself into thinking this time was different. Such an iconic character with so much good setup for great character development. I knew someone would die, but ow. To me, he was the element that made 141 seem more like family than coworkers. Soap’s interactions with the rest just livened up the games so much and made them all shine. Especially Ghost. Their dynamic, man.

Soap was the character that intrigued me enough to jump into the cod rabbit hole. It feels very hollow without him.

I keep telling myself that it’s silly to be so hurt over something fictional, and that I can just treat it as a mcd fanfic and move on, but nope. Brain’s stuck in the bad stuff. It’s a bad habit of mine to let something like this affect me so much, but well. Logic vs feeling and all that.

I really did find so much comfort in Soap this last year, that I severely needed. It feels a little like losing someone I know, someone who helped me through a rough time. I related to something in him and felt inspired. I only started writing after getting into ghostsoap, I started working out and I got back into art after a very long burnout. It may be fiction, but the impact is not.

So that was pretty much the worst case scenario of what mw3 could be to me. I always knew the risk, but, once again, ow. But there also seems to be plenty of good stuff in the game that I enjoy. I’m happy with the Ghost and Soap dialogue, the whole team working together and seeing Laswell and Farah and Alex and Nik. I hope I can be inspired by some of the new content once I’m calmer.

And I was worried they would ignore Ghost and Soap’s relationship after their development in mw2, but they genuinely seem to have gotten real close. It’s nice. I thought the shipping might scare the game devs into never having them appear in a scene together again, so that’s a plus.

Bottom line to all this is: I probably need a little break to get my head sorted. The grief is surprisingly real, it’s triggered some old stuff for me (haven’t been sleeping or eating, been stuck in some old thoughts). I’ll need to calm down and become a bit more normal about this again. Part of the grief isn’t so much about Soap himself, but also just the safe space that this account has been. The very nature of how the fandom is going to interact with Soap and Ghostsoap is going to change now, and man… I liked how it was, y’know? Could’ve used a little longer in that bubble. There’s going to be plenty of new fics and art, lovely stuff as always, but many of them will be tinged with grief, and I’m not in a place where that won’t break me a little.

I will hopefully come back to posting and making stuff once my brain settles down. I have so many drafts for fics and ideas that I hope I can return to. I’ve gotten so used to drawing these lads that I doubt I can stop tbh

The version of Soap that we love is already evolved from the games due to all the time and care the community has put into the character. The games may have killed him, but luckily, he’s fictional. We can do what we want, same as before.

I’m not even saying that I wish they hadn’t killed him. The games are crafting a story that fits their audience. It makes sense.

But I will choose to live in one of the many universes we’ve created for Soap, where he is alive and cared for, with a found family and a spooky lieutenant with a soft spot for him. Good for him.

Hope you’re all taking care of yourselves. RIP canon Soap (again). Thanks to Neil for a wonderful portrayal. And no matter where we go from here, thanks for a wonderful year of creating with you lovely folks. Seriously, some of the kindest people I’ve met in fandom. <3

Lastly: fuck you Kevin O’Reilly, but more importantly, sincerely thank you. (CallMeKevin video about mw2 got me into this mess. Otherwise I was keeping cod at an arm’s length, but he’s my fav youtuber, so I watched it. And here we are!)

#if u don’t wanna read: I’ll be taking a small break for mental health reasons but expect to be back and creating for this fandom again <3 #mw3 #mw3 spoilers #cod mwiii #mwiii spoilers #call of duty mwiii #ghostsoap #wispy update #always feel anxious posting anything emotional but feel like this one deserved a proper update #you’re all wonderful ppl ily #hopefully see you soon !

[a1bx]

A "What If Uzi Died Instead of Nori" Fanfiction

This a first final draft of the opening scene of a new fanfic to post on AO3. I don't expect this to garner much attention in tumblr, but if you see this, please give comments and critiques! I feel like the ending was a little bit weak, and I have no beta readers...

---

"Mom! Check this out!"

Nori slowly turned from her desk to see Uzi hopping around proudly, holding a gun-looking thing in her hands. Nori sighed internally. That thing was the likely culprit to Nori's charge deprivation; That loud welding noise last night was constantly pulling her off sleep mode. And it was probably a new invention of Uzi's that Nori most definitely doesn't approve of...

She shook it off and smiled. If it would make her daughter happy, then she would entertain the idea of what kind of weapon her little girl had come up with this time.

"What have you got there?"

"My latest weapon!" Uzi began to wave the gun around, pretending like it was some sort of sword. 

“This cool-as-heck railgun!”

Nori stifled a yelp as the barrel whizzed past her head several times. She kept her smile though. The last thing she wanted was for her daughter to stop sharing these things with her. 

She loved seeing Uzi be with her…

But she was still quite uneasy about it! It's not every day your child makes something this... dangerous. Her eyes twitched a little when the barrel approached her again. Nori noted to herself to let Khan show Uzi some gun safety sometime soon, or at least how to keep the barrel pointed away from anyone.

Uzi smiled proudly back at her mom. "Pretty awesome, huh?"

"Sure, Uzi..." Nori reached forward, carefully pushing the barrel down so it wasn't pointed at her face. "Just... Please, try not to point that in anyone's direction, okay?"

Uzi stared blankly.

"Oh right... sorry, Mom." She said, tittering. "I forgot, heh heh..." Uzi set the railgun down on her desk carefully.

"Well... what do you think?"

Nori leaned forwards to inspect it a little. She didn't want to encourage the thought, but... "I can really tell how much thought you've put into making it a lightweight. The design itself is very sleek..." Nori did genuinely admire the craftsmanship. Khan really has been rubbing off on her daughter, hasn't he? She chuckled a little. 

"Although I am surprised you made it violet... and with stickers?"

Uzi crossed her arms and huffed. 

"Hey, I think it looks cooler that way! Don't ruin it for me!"

Nori shook her head, cupping a hand over her mouth and chuckling into her palm. "Well, I wasn't implying anything!"

"You're literally laughing at me!"

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are!"

"So, what if I am?” Nori gave her daughter a playful smack. Uzi stumbled theatrically as a response, before retaliating with an onslaught of light jabs aimed at her mother. Nori held up her arms in defence, laughing softly.

“As your mom, it's my job to bully you for impractical aesthetics!"

"Bite me!" Uzi exclaimed, now giggling. "As your daughter, it's my job to make fun of you for being lame!”

Nori gasped in mock horror. "How dare you?!" She grabbed her daughter by the shoulders, and Uzi squirmed in response, still laughing. "That's it, you're grounded!"

"What?! No!" Uzi cried out, trying to worm out of her mother's grasp. "This is injustice! I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Really? Did you do your homework?"

There was an awkward silence before Uzi’s eyes hollowed, displaying underlines.

"Ah! There it is!" Nori laughed, pointing a metal finger at the lines. "The proof I need!"

“Mom!! That’s cheating!”

Nori laughed again. Uzi was smart, but could never outwit her mom. Well, not yet, anyway. She awaits the day her little genius finally pulls one over on her… but in the meantime, Nori couldn't help but have a little fun with this.

"Yep, it's true. You are grounded. That's also for making me stay up all night with all those sounds, you little gremlin."

Uzi grunted. "In my defence, I was working on something awesome!"

Nori rolled her eyes, playfully pushing her daughter away. It was times like this Nori wished she had a popcorn bucket. These kinds of shenanigans with Uzi were more entertaining than old human movies… and the "definitely-not-pirated” anime Uzi always wanted her to watch? Speaking of, she should really introduce Uzi to some new stuff.

"Well, I hope it's worth giving your poor mother a sleepless night."

"Sorry... But hey, I promise it's good." Uzi picked up her railgun and smiled. "It's going to blast some murder drones' heads off."

Nori chuckled, but it lacked warmth. She still has to care for the safety of her daughter. Just imagining the thought of her little girl facing a murder drone made her—

"Don’t go, please...”

Those words came so suddenly. Too suddenly.

Nori’s eyes hollowed. Something was crawling up the back of Nori's processor. An awful feeling, weighing down on her entire being as she blanked out for a moment. She couldn’t let the cracks show through though, even if just a little bit. 

Her teeth clenched, and Nori swallowed hard. She forced that feeling down.

Uzi maintained her grin.

“Go where?" Uzi asked. "Oh…! Outside? I mean… Yeah. I'm definitely planning to take this bad boy outside once it is fully done, but—”

Nori flinched.

"I SAID DON'T GO THERE!"

There was a clattering sound that caused Nori to blink. Her eyes glanced down to see her hands grabbing onto Uzi’s wrists tightly, with the railgun now discarded on the floor.

A few moments passed before Nori looked up to see Uzi staring right at her.

For the first time in a while, fear was etched into her little girl’s face.

“...M-mom?”

Stop ruining everything.

Nori let go of her daughter's wrist immediately.

Uzi clutched her wrist, looking down at it while rubbing it gently.

No... She promised would not lose control again. She could not bear to hurt anyone again, especially not her own daughter. Uzi did not do anything wrong. Uzi was only being herself. 

And this was just supposed to be some fun teasing.

"Did you not like what I said…?" Uzi looked up, her eyes void of their usual cheerful light. Her tone of voice seemed too frightened to hide its waver, almost sounding like she was about to cry.

A painful static suddenly blared inside her. 

Nori stumbled back, grabbing her head.

A good mother wouldn't do this to their own child.

"Mom!"

Nori's optics widened as she saw her daughter scramble to take hold of her.

"Are you okay?!" Uzi asked.

Nori is okay. Nori will always be okay when Uzi is around.

"I... I... " Nori stammered, “I’m so sorry, Uzi.”

Nori hugged Uzi. Uzi did not reply, but Nori had her daughter with her. Nori wasn't alone. Everything was okay as long as Uzi was here. Nori wouldn't lose her, right? Uzi was her everything, her reason to live for, her ray of hope when everything turns dark. It would destroy her if she could never see those sweet purple eyes again.

In her presence, Uzi will always be safe.

A smile formed as Nori looked up to her daughter’s face again. 

Her visor was completely shattered on the right.

On the left, her remaining purple eyelight flickered weakly.

Everything will be okay…

"Uzi…" Nori smiled, “We can still fix this..."

She pushed the shattered glass away with her foot.

Nori was still okay…

Her eyelight darted around.

"M-mom… What is happening?"

Uzi was still there…

Nori held her tight. "I... I don't know, but we'll be okay."

Uzi's head fell forward, hitting her shoulder.

Uzi…

“Mom… Why…”

Uzi looked up at Nori, before her light flickered out.

Uzi... it still hurts.

"Why did you kill me, Nori?"

#murder drones #uzi doorman #nori doorman #fanfic #alternate universe #au

[imminent-danger-came]

*sets down my folding chair and sits* So, 3x01 of the o/w/l h/ou/se. Fair warning this is a negative rant so I'm putting it under a readmore:

I can not believe the stars were aligned for the PERFECT Hollow Mind parallel, and it DIDN'T HAPPEN. Hunter and Philip trapped in the same body/mind? Hunter fighting for control? Luz coming to terms with the fact that she lead Philip to the collector? Flapjack getting absorbed into Hunter like all those previous palismens were absorbed into Belos? Like that would have been so good it KILLS ME that it didn't happen. Learning how Philip and Caleb found their way to the Boiling Isles would have been way more satisfying coming from Philip himself.

And honestly like...the episode was fine-ish, but I think overall I was disappointed by it. I don't really care for how they handled Hunter and Luz's respective secrets, and I was SUPER disappointed by Luz's reaction to Belos' return. Like there he is, the man who caused about 3/4 of all your trauma, and like....nothing? Like on god running into Belos should have been the culmination of her s2 and 3x01 arc, yet it wasn't.

I also just kinda wish Luz's refusal to tell her friends she helped Phiplip meet the collector was based more in her fear of being a burden rather than the fear of her friends hating her. This isn't to say there weren't good moments in the special, but they were definitely scattered throughout the episode. It all just fell super flat for me. But I guess in general I find The Owl House to be a very mid show.

Since typing this post in my drafts I've also watched 3x02 and honestly, I feel the same way I did watching the first episode. The writers tried to give every character their own new mini arc instead of focusing on what had already been established previously. Which would be fine, except... this is the penultimate episode. We should be building off of everyone's series long arcs (of which Luz only really has, and I guess Hunter too since he was only around for season 2. Kind of Belos? They've just like, abandoned writing him).

Genuinely disappointed they took away all of the fucked-upedness from the Collector and just made him a lonely kid, rather than a child with the powers of a god and no regard for others or morals. His debut in "Hollow Mind" made him out to be someone who truly relished in chaos, and now he's just like...a child playing make-believe. I think an angle like this could have worked with a different approach, but the episode as is isn't really my thing.

Both these specials feel like "these are all the ideas we had for season 3, let's shove them into these specials" rather than effectively using the time they had. Like...the human world and hexside shenanigans are fun, sure, but focusing on the like...everything else you now don't have time to pay off is way more important.

#yes I know there are issues with pacing because of season 3 being reduced to 3 specials #however I know it can be done #there was plenty that was honestly just...unimportant. #toh critical #imp tag #don't send the kids on a hunt for titans blood and instead dedicate a lot of the episode towards hunter and luz and belos #don't spend a lot of time in hexside. have mat be the leader from the beginning and keep things moving #*strokes tdp and lmk* At least you write interesting villains and commit to it <3

[sunflwryu]

tldr; i'm probably not going to write on this blog anymore.

i don't want to say that i won't completely because hey, maybe one day i'll feel like it, but this is what i wanted to say because i don't want to leave you all waiting...well, it's likely you've stopped after some due to my inactivity and that's okay and valid!

i became inactive here because i wasn't enjoying writing anymore, nor was i into k-pop that much, especially since i was into it a lot to help me cope with how terrible and lonely my life was and felt, and sometimes it still is. writing became somewhat of a hollow thing for me, and i tried so many times to write my drafts, to get the words out, but i couldn't. i would be taking things out of my control that had to do with my blog and writing to heart, i would get so frustrated and depressed at myself to the point that i put an incredible amount of pressure on myself to write something, anything, and when i didn't, my thoughts would spiral on top of what i already had to deal with irl.

so i left this tumblr behind for the sake of myself, hoping that maybe my passion and love for writing would reignite after a break, but it hasn't, not for this blog, only for the journal entries i wrote to cope with my daily life and mental health. i've never been much of a social media person anyway.

i feel like a completely different person than when i was last here. i'm not into k-pop anymore and i barely know what's going on in terms of news and drama but i'll tune into some songs and the older ones that give me nostalgia from simpler times. i've made friends who genuinely appreciate me and i've gotten better at setting my boundaries when it matters and taking care of myself. i have someone that genuinely likes me and always is there for me and tells me i'm beautiful everyday without fail. my skin has gotten better and less painful these days too.

there's a lot that's happened since my last post a few months ago, but what i can say is my life has improved, although there are things i'm still working on, including my ultimate goal i'm still reaching for of a happiness that isn't so fragile.

i want to focus on that goal now.

that's not to say that this blog doesn't mean that much to me, because it does. it helped me so much back then to cope with what horrible things i was dealing with, to write about a world that's not this one, to help others who maybe felt like me, to free my heart of the ideas i kept suppressed for a long time. it really built that foundation for me to grow as i am now.

so thank you so much for all the likes, all the reblogs, the comments, the moots, the readers, the followers, the anons, everyone who's ever set sights on this little blog of mine.

thank you for sticking with me along the way and helping me to make this blog a place that i'm proud to look back upon, to reread my works again and remember how much fun i had writing them. thank you for liking them and telling me your thoughts, thank you for giving them love because that made me happier amidst what i was going through at the time. i hope i was able to give you all comfort and entertainment through the works i enjoyed to write.

i'll pop in sometimes (no promises on the frequency of that), read some stuff, answer asks, make major update posts, but i don't think i'll be around too much. oh, and don’t worry, my blog will stay up, i’ll never personally take it down unless smthg else interferes. if you've read this far, congratulations! have a heart ♥

but seriously, thank you for everything. — yumi

—

p.s. credits to @argodeon for the banner/image! it's so beautiful!

#yumi speaks

[virgeandhis-pocket-protector]

Ayo @prince-rowan-of-the-forest tagged me in the "getting to know your fellow fanfic authors" writing tag game! I'm putting this in a new post cause the original one was gettin long.

Go see Rowan's answers here! (https://www.tumblr.com/prince-rowan-of-the-forest/730426008116822016/aaaaa-thanks-for-the-tag-when-did-you-post-your?)

My answers beneath the read more.

When did you post your first fanfic?

Lordy. Back in 2019, I posted an extremely rough draft of a multi-chapter Sanders Sides (or 'SaSi') fanfic called Kingdoms for a Mind (or 'KFAM') on Wattpad. Either that one or a now tossed SaSi fic called Fear No More (guess which side was the focus in that one. Guess. Hint: It's the anxious guy.)

First Character you wrote for:

Virgil from Sanders Sides, I thiiiiink? Although I wrote for most of the sides at that point, too. Virgil was my little baby boy though.

Main character(s) you're currently writing for:

Logan, Janus, Virgil, Patton, and Remus in the updated version of KFAM i'm working on, and Patton and Roman in a new SaSi/The Mechanisms crossover.

Character(s) you haven't written about before but plan on writing about soon:

Mostly non-SaSi stuff. I have some fic ideas for a Pure Vessel/Pale King angst (from the Hollow Knight video game) or Diggory and Percy from Hello from the Hallowoods (highly recommended queer drama podcast).

Fandom(s) you're currently writing for:

SANDERS SIDES and the mechansisms and star wars and someday probably hollow knight and hello from the hallowoods oh and me and my friend's D&D campaign, but that's mostly original stuff.

Platonic pairing(s) you currently write for:

Tehe. All SaSi platonic duos, pretty much, like the whole group. Platonic/familial Janus, Logan, and Virgil is a favorite though. And I love my creativitwins angst.

Romantic pairing(s) you currently write for:

Analogical, Anxceit, and Royality, among others like loceit, intruality, and prinxiety.

Your top three tags on AO3 (if you post your works on AO3):

Character tags: 1. Original Characters 2. Morality | Patton Sanders 3. Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Relationship tags: 1. Analogical (romantic) 2. Virgil & Roman (platonic) 3. Creativitwins (platonic)

Your current platform where you post your works:

Archive of Our Own (Ao3)! Here's my acc.* (https://archiveofourown.org/users/pancakewithapen/profile) *PSA that I haven't posted anything new in a while. Feel free to read my 3-year-old stuff tho. And if you're feeling extra special, please please bully me about posting stuff I really gotta -v-

Snippet of A WIP you're currently working on:

"The fire cracks. Leaning against a fallen tree, only a few miles away from where their journey began all those weeks ago, Logan realizes he has forgotten how to lie to himself. With conscious, newfound honesty, Logan senses that he is not just uncomfortable. He is angry. Janus doesn’t need to know. Why, in a million years, would Janus even deserve to know? Logan’s feeling are private, they are his, and they do not have to be spoken to anyone. Ever. Logan looks down toward the grass. Why do you care? He almost spits out, but in his periphery, he can see Janus still looking towards the woods. The other’s hands are placed gingerly in his own lap. His mouth is turned down, but his eyes are wide and alert. Janus longs for Virgil to return, too, just as Logan is. He feels the same urges Logan feels. Janus must already know the answer to his question. He knows. He must hate that he knows. He thinks Logan will either save his feelings or put him out of his misery and either option is nicer than conscious ignorance. Perhaps Janus has come to find he can’t lie to himself either. Logan’s stomach churns. They must be talking about these feelings, once so sweet and freeing, in the bitterest configuration possible." (From "Kingdoms for a Mind 2" — a Sanders sides fic)

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

No-pressure tagging some of my favorite fanfic authors:

@i-will-physically-fight-you @late-to-the-fandom @anxious-mess19 @vinbee631 @groovyghostie @annaizscribbling @emo-nightmares @girlboypatton @lily-janus

This is also @pancakewithamace, btw, in case you don't recognize this blog!

#grey's writing #grey's zone #writing tag game #tag game #sanders sides fanfiction #sasi #fander stuff #sanders sides #the mechanisms #hollow knight #star wars #hello from the hallowoods #MY BELOVEDS !!! I AM WRITING AGAIN !!! :DDD

[hideyseek]

5, 9, 12!

crab!! hi hi hi hi hi hiiiii~! ty for quastions :3

from fanfic asks for the new year

5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?

aha, well. technically the first is mini heist!au but none of it is written that is in the shape of the final thing that i haven't already posted on here so i'm gonna cheat and say uh. wow huh okay then i kind of have no idea. ah! maybe my arthurcobb fic then! cos it sure won't be narrative!fic, lol!

here is a snippet from the current draft which is uhh three and a half years old (by which i mostly mean to say, there are a couple things in here i would write differently now.):

Arthur brings his coffee up to the counter where Dom has already deposited his onion rings and says, “Excuse me, can I purchase a — a temporary phone?” If he doesn't call it a burner maybe he will come off as more the kind of person he actually is. The cashier puts up a finger in question and Arthur nods but behind him Dom says firmly, “Two.”  Arthur turns, surprised. “Why — we don’t need two?” They’re traveling together, after all. Arthur’s not about to leave Dom alone, so it’s not like Dom will need his own phone. It’s not like Dom’s super functional, anyway. The three days he’d spent on Arthur’s couch before they read the news and had to leave town extremely suspiciously, he’d really just spent on the couch. “We don’t need two phones, Dom,” Arthur repeats.  “What if we get separated,” Dom points out. “How would we get in contact with each other again? You should have your own phone, too.” Arthur would rather not think about circumstances that would separate them. Dom says, “Arthur,” and it feels pointed. Something like panic hollows Arthur’s chest. Things are already out of control, apparently. Two days into being on the run and apparently Dom can call these shots but he can’t be on the run by himself.

9. Short term goals… what do you hope to complete this week or in January?

ahaha actually, getting this ask made me decide that i'm going to try my absolute best to finish the project i've been calling "mini heist!au" (which ... at this point ... is just an au of heist!au without any heists in it, lmao) this month! i used answering this ask as my bribe for reading through all the existing material and drawing up a revision plan / new fic story structure actually. i'm not sure i'll be able to, i suspect there are 2-4 drafts and i simply do not write that fast (at least one from scratch based on a new outline, possibly a second from scratch, and then a second/third that's just like. content/theme/cadence/character arcs etc revisions. though that might get complex enough to be two drafts). but we'll see! there are still 24 days so at this current moment i am optimistic :3

12. Will you change anything about the way you edit or rewrite this year?

YES I SURE FUCKING WILL. I HAVE BEGUN IT ACTUALLY, mostly i'm continuing to test a thing i tried in december 2023 to see if it still works for projects that aren't the specific situation of the beginning of devotion (so far, yes!) anyway the way that process goes is like this (recipe below):

first, write a terrible draft. some scenes can just be a note of what needs to happen. ideally: expend as little fucking effort on this as possible bc like. almost none of this will stay. just write enough to get the vibes of what you're going for.

second, read through that draft taking notes of what you like or don't like (or, the way i phrase it for myself to make the goal clearer "what feels like it is aligned with my vision for the fic vs what isn't") but most importantly. WHY.

for me doing this second step has 2/2 turned into "here is a rough outline of the story, completely restructured" but also, with no ending (which is fine, i just have to trust that the ending will appear when more of the draft is written).

third, compile those notes on a new draft into a narrative-order outline (linear for me).

fourth, write the new draft.

fifth, try to do step 2 again. but what i found for the beginning of devotion and therefore what i'm to a certain extent expecting, is that i will just have a bunch of Ns/dislikes and then go. ah. because the things i dislike are too granular to require big-picture story structure changes now.

sixth, copy the most recent draft into a new doc. and read through and revise directly on the page. maybe title at some point so that revision stuff is aligned with the mood/tone/content/vibes/whatever of the title. and maybe come up with initial tags and a summary here also to make sure the vibes are all aligned. hopefully the content of the ending will become clear at this point and you'll draft that for the first or second time.

seventh, idk i like to do an out-loud readthrough bc reading cadence is important to me personally. and also i am scared to lose the skill of reading aloud considering i do it about zero times a year other than this.

that's it basically.

#hidey speaks #ask game #hidey talks fic #is that my tag lol #man my paragraphs used to be so chonkyyy #but also wow im kind of emotional ... some of my older writing is so fucking beautiful #in a way i tried to train myself out of pretty hard the last two years. and now mmm. i'm better at structure but #i'm not sure i know how to get some of that lyricism back

[mthollowell-writes]

Author Ask Tag Game!

Thank you so much to @axl-ul for the tag! You can find their original post here!

Even though it was my @missaddledmiss blog that was tagged, I'll be using my writing blog to tackle this one.

You've given me the prompting I needed to finally talk about the beast of a WIP I've only been hinting at thus far. I'm choosing the Festival of Shadows (tentative title) for this tag game.

What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it? I'm not sure there's a lesson per se. The story is a murder mystery that becomes a monster hunt, though the monster becomes harder to identify as more dark truths and conflicts of interest are uncovered. The story at its heart is a quest for truth which often requires a deeper examination of the darkness within each of the characters and the darkness they choose to tolerate. The story is about how ultimately, to get through a problem, you have to let other people help you. You don't have to do it alone. (Collective action for the win!) So I guess, that is a lesson though one that requires a lot of sacrifice and vulnerability for everyone involved.

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)? The story takes place in the fictional American town of Hollow Grove. It's where strange things happen: where vampires, werewolves, zombies, and other mythical beings are tolerated, where the macabre is rather commonplace. For the longest time, I struggled to characterize the town beyond its eccentricities because I couldn't decide where it was. When I settled on the Midwest, a lot of things clicked into place. I drew a lot from that culture, horror media, and true crime. I also draw a lot upon history to inform the text, especially 19th-century trends like Manifest Destiny/ settler culture and progressive movements of the 1970s and how all that informs the present (circa 2017).

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person? Mariela is trying to piece together how a dark magic ritual leads to the deaths of several members of a fringe cult within Hollow Grove and how that may tie back the Edelhaus Coalition (the main political and religious power brokers in Hollow Grove) and her own troubled family history. I simply want to tell her story, along with the stories of the rest of the cast. And I guess, how the past still influences the present, no matter how long ago it may seem. Certain things stick with you. Certain things shouldn't be brushed off because "it happened so long ago."

How many chapters is your story going to have? This monster is projected to be 65 chapters give or take a few. We'll see what survives the editing process.

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it? This is an original work. As for posting, I haven't made my mind up about that yet. I'll cross that bridge when I finish it.

When and why did you start writing? I started the Festival of Shadows story back in 2017 as a fun weekly challenge to myself for the new year to flesh out all these new characters I created for Hollow Grove and to flesh out the world itself. The earliest draft ended up taking a whole ten months to complete. I then put the story on the shelf until about last year when I completely revised it from the ground up. I started a second (first) draft but was forced to put the story on pause again to flesh out certain plot threads neglected in that one. This has truly been a long labor of love.

Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow? I'm going to interpret engagement as encouragement so by that logic my advice would be to have fun with it and write the stories you want to read. As long as you start there, you'll go far. I know of a lot of lovely people in this space and can't wait to see what you all do and how we can help each other reach our goals.

Sorry if this was all written out a bit clunkily. This is my first time talking about all this publically but I enjoyed the practice and hope to improve.

Now for tagging!

Very low-pressure tagging @acertainmoshke, @ryns-ramblings, @nonsenseramble, @palebdot, @friendlyshaped, @rmgrey-author and anyone else who would like to participate!!!

#writeblr #tagged! #festival project #writing #tumblr writing community #mt writes #author ask tag game #tag games

[amrv-5]

🖊️ and 🌝 !!!

oooghh!! thank u so much!!!!!

Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

had 2 think about this but as far as mash (where my whole bran lives rn) I'd pick Henry.... I think he would be so phenom to try to write for. such a fascinating perspective, being this unwilling commander and ALSO in charge of trying to rein Hawkeye and Trapper but not really actually giving a damn because, again, you also don't want to be there so how and where do you decide to uphold the rules.....but you're also a father figure to this cohort of young men&women.... love love love.

2. Post a snippet from a current WIP.

great timing I just hit. 100K. on this. augh. tw for smoking and mental health discussions (BJ style. so not so much. discussion as much as Blind Action). excerpt below the cut:

Hawkeye took another drag off his cigarette. After a moment, he raised his chin and exhaled, smoke drifting skyward. 

BJ turned, leaning his left shoulder against the window frame, keeping his right hand locked on the railing. Hawkeye cut a striking silhouette in the streetlight’s mercury-vapor glow, spare and handsome, smoke furling from between his lips, though BJ wished he was less frighteningly thin. 

“You know,” BJ said, thinking aloud as something suddenly occurred to him, “a study got published in 1950, but I don’t remember exactly when. You might’ve been overseas when it came out. You might not even know. Wynder and Graham?” 

Though Hawkeye’s face was heavily shadowed, BJ could tell by the shift in his posture Hawkeye thought what he’d said was funny. 

“What?” BJ asked. He felt off-balance. This wasn’t what he remembered it was like to talk to Hawkeye. This was harder, and worse, and a whole lot quieter. So much for New York’s notorious bustle.

“Wynder and Graham,” Hawkeye repeated, tired but amused. “What about them.”

BJ tapped his foot. The metal grating clanged. “Cigarette smoking causes lung cancer. Well, they haven’t said it’s causal, exactly, but anybody with eyes can look at their data and see it themselves. You smoke, you end up with bronchogenic carcinoma. And—I don’t know how up you are on oncology. But most of those guys get three months post-diagnosis. Three months on the outside.”

Hawkeye let his cigarette dangle from his lips as he reached into his back pocket. He pulled out a pack of Lucky Strikes, the drag of the packaging against the denim of his jeans audible. “They published in May. I was still in the good old U.S. of A. I read it.” 

“Hm,” BJ said again. He shifted against the window sill. “What, you don’t believe them? You think the experimental design was faulty? ‘Cause there’s a new team, they called a colleague of mine—”

“Hammond and Horn,” Hawkeye interrupted, voice muffled as he held the cigarette in the corner of his mouth. He tapped a new cigarette out using both hands. “I know. Going to definitively prove the link, I think.” 

“So, what,” BJ said, hearing his voice come out amiable and light even as the metal of the railing dug into his palm. “Where’s the disconnect?” 

Hawkeye slid the pack of cigarettes back into his pocket. He pulled the old cigarette out of his mouth, the end still glowing faintly, and placed the new one between his lips. He paused, turning to finally look at BJ directly. “The disconnect?” 

BJ forced himself to maintain eye contact. “Those things’ll kill you.”

Hawkeye held his gaze as he touched the ends of the cigarettes together. He inhaled, his brow creasing as his cheeks hollowed and the new cigarette lit, a puff of smoke escaping the side of his mouth. He took another drag, and stubbed out the old cigarette. He exhaled again in a rush, and then turned to look up the street. “Then there’s no disconnect,” he said emotionlessly, his posture open and totally relaxed. 

BJ let go of the railing, squaring up, getting angry, but at what he couldn’t tell. Himself, maybe, or Hawkeye’s draft board for putting the man in the single place most guaranteed to break him, or Hawkeye himself for being so cavalier with something BJ loved. 

He took a deep breath, and then another, trying to calm himself. Each inhale only made him angrier, though, laced as the air was with the scent of tar. He clenched his fists hard enough the knuckles cracked.

“What?” Hawkeye asked, flicking ash off the fire escape. “You want a drag?” 

BJ held his hand out for the cigarette. 

Hawkeye extended his arm silently, not looking at BJ. 

BJ accepted the cigarette. The end was slightly damp. 

He raised his hand, and flicked the cigarette into the street, the cherry of its flame tracing a complicated pattern as it fell. 

Hawkeye watched it burn out in the gutter, and then turned, very slowly, to face BJ. 

BJ grabbed Hawkeye’s collar and stuck his hand in his back pocket. 

“What the hell?” Hawkeye said, animate for the first time. “What, exactly, do you think you’re—”

BJ jerked backwards, holding Hawkeye’s pack of cigarettes. He reeled his arm back, keeping out of Hawkeye’s reach as he rocketed the pack into the street, the throw whistling faintly with force.

#ask game #THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!! #bastard jerk hunnicutt my special boy bastard jerk hunnicutt #bj like is anybody going to ask this man frankly about his emotions or am i going to have to respond impulsively #in a way that also allows me to Touch and Be Touched By Hawkeye

[kelmcdonald]

Getting Shit Done!

Hey hey folks!

November was mostly work focused and December will be too. This month in my discord we’re gonna watch an indie werewolf movie called Wolf of Snow Hollow. I was told it had a dry sense of humor but I haven’t seen it yet. If it interests you, pop into my discord on December 7th at 5pm PST.

Last month I finished Murky Water. It’s all done! I’m getting the whole thing proofread now. Then I’ll repost all the old pages with the typos fixed. There is still a paper shortage so I don’t know if I’m gonna print it right away. Like it would be nice to have a new book for conventions but Cautionary Fables South America will be out next year. So it might be better to hold off with it’s crowdfund until next year.

Another thing I finished is my Failure to Launch comic. Patreon backers have been seeing the pencils posted on Fridays, but I finished coloring and lettering it last weekend. It’s written by Ryan North and will appear in the anthology Failure to Launch: a Tour of Ill-Fated Futures. I’m the editor on the book and it’s gonna be a great book. It’s a light-hearted education collection of inventions and world plans that didn’t get to become reality. Some are because they were based on bad science (like my story is about a man who didn’t account for friction or physics in general) but others fell apart because of corporate greed or government interference. I especially like a story written by Harry “Hbomberguy” Brewis about the first attempt at making a union. That’s gonna crowdfund in February. I’ll make sure to let you all know when it’s up.

While doing all this work I watched a lot of TV. So much it’s a little hard to remember it all. The big stand out is probably Interview with the Vampire. While different from the books, the changes the show made really improved the source material. I especially think the show aging Claudia up a little was a good decision. Her being turned so young in the book and movie does some interesting stuff, it doesn’t quite fit with the series as a whole. Her being older lets her run off of a bit on her own and grow into someone away from Louis and Lestate in a way that she couldn’t in the source material. It makes her interesting and nuanced as a character for the show.

And the actress playing her knocks it out of the park. All the actors in the show do. I also like the reporter being older while interviewing Louis and pushing back on him in the interview more. The whole show is just really well put together. I highly recommend it. 

Since I wrapped up a lot last month, this month I’m jumping back into You are the Chosen One. So that will be back as my patreon exclusive comic next month. I’ll post pfds of the previous chapters before I start things up again. I’m sure some folks have forgotten what’s happened since the couple of month break. 

I’m also getting ready to jump into the next The City Between story. It’s titled Shards of Reflection. I’m gonna try to experiment a little with the storytelling because the main character is an unreliable narrator. It will be interesting to see how things go and I hope I can pull it off. 

And I’m really living up to the cartoon of me spinning plates on the Iron Circus Geekshow. Because this month I also need to try and finish up the graphic novel I’ve been writing, Blue Moon. That’s the werewolf YA book I’m doing with Meredith McClaren. The script is due at the end of December. Or at least the first draft is. But it’s kinda fallen to the side while working on everything else.

I’ll be doing my usual streaming this month on Twitch. With so much going on, sometimes it’s hard to focus. So those two hour streams Tues, Wed, and Thurs really help me get at least my drawing done. One streaming thing that Spike and I are planning is on Christmas day we are gonna stream rimworld. During it we’ll be raising money for charity (but haven’t picked one yet). But it will be on both the Iron Circus Youtube as well as my twitch. We are gonna start at Noon Central and 10am PST. So join us if you don’t have Christmas plans.  Also, since twitter is exploding I figured I should list all my social medias. You can follow me at these places.

https://twitter.com/kellhound

https://facebook.com/kelmcdonaldart

https://instagram.com/keldrawscomicsoninsta…

https://cohost.org/Kelmcdonald

https://pillowfort.social/kelmcdonald

https://mastodon.social/@kelmcdonald

https://kelmcdonald.tumblr.com

https://twitch.tv/kelmcdonald

Have a good one! Thanks for your support!

#werewolf #werewolves #iron circus comics #ryan north #comics #webcomics #interview with the vampire #you are the chosen one #the city between #newsletter #twitch #rimworld #kelmcdonald #kel mcdonald

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this Week #111 (Year 3/Week 7):

3 More young Robert De Niro - 2 accompanied by Ennio Morricone:

🍿 I finally found a good free copy of Bertolucci’s Novecento (”1900"), the full 5+ hours version, which I haven’t seen since it premiered. What an old-fashioned film-watching joy!

Retelling the history of Italy’s juggling the two opposing forces of fascism and communism as told through the lives of two men, one a land owner’s son and the other, still handsome peasant Gérard Depardieu. With lots of homoerotic subtext, De Nero frontal nudity, and other complex class-struggle subtexts. And with Ennio Morricone’s sweeping score and Vittorio Storaro’s spectacular canvases. 9/10.

🍿 The mission, one of the Vatican “15 recommended films about religion”. About a Spanish slave trader who turned Jesuit missionary in 1750′s Paraguay, full of search for redemption, Penance and struggles with faith. Exotic-Porn, shot beautifully out in the jungle. Produced during David Puttnam’s successful reign of the time. Featuring Liam Neeson and Goodfellas "Morrie" as the heavy. But like most films from the 1980′s, it lost all its luster for me. 4/10.

🍿 Greetings, Brian De Palma’s 2nd film, the first American film to receive an X rating and De Nero’s first major role. This ‘how to dodge the Vietnam war draft’ satire was so amateurish, I couldn’t stand more than 15 minutes of it.

🍿

All That Breathes, a new award-winning and Oscar-nominated Hindi language documentary. It poetically tells of 2 unassuming Indian brothers who rescue and treat injured black kite birds. 100% Rotten Tomato rating. The trailer.

🍿

2 more by Luca Guadagnino:

🍿 Bones and all, love among the cannibals. A vulnerable love story of two young, pretty outcasts who share an affinity for flesh eating. I loved his style in ‘A bigger splash’, ‘I am love’, and ‘Call me by your name’, but this horror-comedy was hollow and unnecessary. 3/10.

🍿 Guadagnino’s second feature, Melissa P. A semi-pornographic ‘erotic drama’ about a 15-year-old girl’s journey of sexual discoveries. It opens with her masturbating in her room, and soon it moves on to her giving a blow-job to some jerk, being forced to participate in a threesome, gangbangs and in a bit of S&M. All in the name of her right to explore her desires, and told mostly from an off-putting (gay?) male gaze point of view. 4/10.

🍿

Alice's Wonderland, the first Walt Disney short film, released exactly 100 years ago, in 1923, a seminal year for Hollywood and for movie making.

🍿

The creatures, my 9th by Agnès Varda, an experimental fantasy pairing Catherine Deneuve with Michel Piccoli, a year before ‘Belle de Jour’. He’s a science-fiction writer, and she’s his wife who went mute after a car accident. The line between reality and the writer’s vision for his book are blurred, but the effort feels dated and forced. Too artsy. 3/10 

🍿  

Life after death, a slight drama-comedy from Finland about an emotionally-stunted widower who wants to move on as soon as his wife dies, against his son’s need to mourn for her longer. 3/10     

🍿

Vesper, my first film from Lithuania (In English, unfortunately). A somehow different post-apocalyptic Sci-fi story about a 13-year-old bio-hacker girl who lives in the forest with her paralyzed father. Organic tech and biological magic. 4/10.

🍿

“... Is that dress is what you are going to wear in the concentration camp?...”

First watch: Ernst Lubitsch’s 1942 Nazi farce To be or not to be. Making fun of Hitler the Hollywood way, by showing Gestapo officers as lecherous buffoons, Ha ha ha. Carole Lombard’s last film, and with young, good-looking Robert Stack. To paraphrase another quote from the comedy: What Lubitsch did to Shakespeare here, the Nazis were doing to Poland. 2/10   

🍿

2 With Elliott Gould:

🍿 I was planning to follow-up with the Mel Brooks’ 1983 remake, but the original left such a bad taste in my mouth, that instead I randomly started a documentary in which Brooks stars - the irresistible The Automat. What a joyful surprise! A super-nostalgic love letter to the Horn & Hardart restaurant chain which thrived in NYC and Philadelphia in the first half of the last century. Absolutely enchanting from start to finish. With a delightful cover song, written and performed by Mel Brooks. (Photo Above). 8/10.  

🍿 American History X, a very disappointing first watch. What may have been a courageous and nuanced analysis of contemporary racial hatred, rehabilitation and tolerance, seems didactic and quaint 25 years later - just like the shocking Nazi swastika tattoos. 1998 extremism is 2023 slice of life. 3/10.

🍿

A hard day, a Korean thriller about a young, corrupt policeman who runs over a guy while drunk driving, and then, trying to cover the killing, buries the body in the coffin of his mother who had died the same day. Standard, unbelievable execution about the always-corrupt Korean Police force. 3/10

🍿

First watch: Cult classic Myra Breckinridge, “one of the worst films ever made” and the mess that brought Mae West out of her 27-year retirement. A confused early ‘70′s look at sexual roles, sex change operations, female-on-male anal rape, femdom and Hollywood. A complete waste of talent. 2/10.

RIP, Raquel Welch!

🍿

The concept sounds intriguing: A lowly Irish ‘Extra’ playing an English soldier on the set of Stanley Kubrick’s ‘Barry Lyndon’ falls in love with an assistant director. The trailer looked dope. But the short Kubrick by candlelight was undeveloped and underwhelming. 2/10.

🍿

Marc Maron X 2:

🍿 Not being very familiar with comedian Marc Maron, but he opened his latest stand up From Bleak to Dark with this line: I don’t want to be negative, but I don’t think anything’s ever gonna gets better again, which captured my sentiment so perfectly, I was immediately hooked. Genial observations, well-delivered!

🍿 Since he‘s also an accomplished actor, I looked for something he played in. Unfortunately, I picked Get a Job (2016), because it also starred my crush Anna Kendrick (and dozens of other names, Bryan Cranston, John Cho, Nicholas Braun). But this cringy sit-com style dud was so listless, I could only last 25 minutes, before adding it to my “Too-Horrible-Couldn’t Finish-List”. 1/10.

🍿

I felt compelled to watch Game Night again, for the 3rd (!) time, and I’m not sure why. The relationship between Jason Bateman and Rachel McAdams is so cute, and the story develops organically and perfectly. It’s such a fun and infectious action-comedy!

🍿

Some YouTuber Watched Every Oscar Best Picture Winner, so we don’t have to.

🍿

Lavatory Lovestory, a cute Oscar-nominated Russian Short about a lonely, romantic lady who works at a public toilet, a subject that is told not too often on film.

🍿

So this week I saw 2 great movies: Bertolucci’s '1900', the documentary ‘The Automat’, one repeat offender ‘Game night’ for the 4th time, plus Marc Maron’s stand-up ‘From Bleak to dark’. That’s a fairly typical number of good ones per week.

But I came to realize that most of the many other movies I watch every week are simply terrible. Under normal circumstances, and if I wasn’t on a mission (which I’m not sure yet what it is), I would never spend time on them.

Maybe I’ll try one week to only watch ‘Great’ movies, see how it feels to go through only the 'Best of the best'.

🍿

(My complete movie list is here)

#movies

[theregoesmylurkerstatus]

So... I have a lot of thoughts on the finale. I've deliberately kept my mouth shut, more or less, on the campaign overall because I'm a firm believer that you can't pass judgement -- at least not complete judgement -- on stories until they're over and done with.

Well, it's done! Kind of crazy. I've been watching Critical Role with almost insane consistency, viewing almost every single episode live, with maybe five-ish exceptions, since episode 19, and I've been blogging it for, what, two and a half years?

It's a weird feeling. It's been such a constant thing for me that I'm always gonna have love for it and remember with a lot of fondness.

...Which is in spite of the fact that I can now comfortably say I'm pretty eh on the ending. I know not being positive about something most of us have loved a lot for a very long time can sting a bit, but I personally think it also stings when people relentlessly crow over how good they think it is or want it to be, to the point where you feel you can't voice your absolutely valid upsets or dissatisfactions. So, here goes, if anyone's interested! I'd be curious to see other opinions, too!

I actually drafted a post talking about my overall frustrations with the campaign a whole two weeks ago, and then scrapped most of it when 140 blew me out of the water. I was really touched, and really happy. I hadn't expected it, but it shockingly felt right, you know?

Unfortunately 141 robbed me of most of that satisfaction and brought me right back to neutral.

The blanket statement you have to make, of course, is that you can’t criticise this as a DnD game, and you can’t be mad at the cast for playing it in a way they think is best for them. They’re the players, Matt’s the DM, and in the end it makes no sense for them to try to make themselves act how they think the audience wants them to, and I’m sure most of the audience wouldn’t like the result anyway.

That said, there is an audience. And that’s where I see this clash coming in. As a DnD game, as long as the players and DM have all enjoyed it and been satisfied, it’s a successful game! But for us, it’s not a DnD game. For us, we’re watching a story be written in real time through the medium of an RPG. And while as a DnD game you can’t fault it, as a piece of media, I completely get why the way things have gone has sat weirdly for a lot of people.

It's not satisfying to see so many character hooks dealt with so quickly or left as an offscreen "and then you do it." If they don't want to keep playing to dive into it, absolutely, but for us who have been watching this as a story with all these character elements get so built up, it's a huge anti-climax.

Which is a lot of what this campaign has been, really.

Oh, Nott’s cursed! But through a really cool character moment that problem is completely taken care of with no consequences we see. Yay, I want her to be Veth and that was an iconic move from Jester! Still, it kind of feels like this was built up to be a big problem and at the first success it was let go... Caleb's got a really intense frightening past he tries to hide, I wonder how the Mighty Nein will respond? Oh, they found out, but it's not a difficult revelation for anyone. Looks like it's easy for them to move past it and forgive. Yeah, that's healthiest for the characters, but huh, kinda undercuts it as a storyline or point of interest. Oooh, Avantika’s back! Ah, they’ve killed her and grabbed the eye again. I mean I don’t want them to die or for Uk’otoa to be free, but I’m starting to feel like that’s not much of a threat anyway. The Traveler’s been kidnapped! Nah he hasn’t, he tried to save Jester so he was let go with no further issue, and also he wasn’t actually in any danger anyway. Oh... Cool. So... Why should I care or be worried?

And these are just the biggest ones I remember being kind of let down by. I wanted to see them STRUGGLE for the successes to have meaning. To my view, threats of failure -- real failure -- really decreased the more the campaign went on, with a few exceptions.

Because don't get me wrong, we've definitely had struggles, and those have made for some of the best moments! Molly’s death, Yasha’s kidnapping, Yeza’s imprisonment. When failures that were threatened are allowed to occur, it’s far more gratifying when it’s followed by success, because you understand that that success was actually necessary. It shows us that what they do really means something.

Honestly, that's why the final battle really shut me up, because nothing makes you quite feel stakes and failure like having two PCs die, and having a resurrection ritual fail -- AND knowing that failure would be delivered on, had it not been for a seemingly miraculous roll of the dice to turn it around. One of the greatest failure's -- Molly's death -- made the success of his resurrection put a lot of my other issues to rest immediately, because to be honest? Molly's resurrection was the biggest success of the campaign, exactly because it was originally the biggest failure.

But this episode, we got to see the other side of making threats and successes feel disappointing -- when you get the impression that success was robbed from you. Again, their characters, their choices, but to have them roll an intervention to get Molly's soul, to convince Molly to come back with his own possessions they've so loved, after so long and so many struggles... only to apparently not get Molly at all?

Changed, of course. Memories, maybe he'd never get them back, though that seems inconsistent to how the initial resurrection was played and Matt's hints. It even makes sense that not having his memories and being a bit different, he might forge a new identity, but insisting Molly was a different person entirely after such a supposed hard won success to get Molly back, especially after what his death meant to the audience and potentially healing that old wound? It robs the narrative of a LOT of catharsis, at least for me and I know many others.

Trent, too, I'm very up and down on. He was so built up -- and what fun that build up had -- and I very much disagreed with the idea that the best story would be dealing with him offscreen.

It's true that you don’t need to explicitly address, confront, or explore every big aspect of character's story hooks and background ties for PCs to move past them and grow healthily. But that does not make it a satisfying viewing experience. People quietly healing in real life is healthy. People quietly healing in an explosive fantasy setting is frustrating for the audience.

What on earth is the point of a story if you don’t get to SEE THE ESTABLISHED CONFLICTS go anywhere? A lot of the characters got distant, quiet resolutions, if that, to everything we wanted to see.

Except, we did get to see Trent. It was a really fun, inventive battle, from opening to conclusion, but much like Travelercon, much like Nott's/Veth's problem with the hag, these were things that the audience in general wanted to see be really dug into and explored, and every single one of them got, in my opinion, quickly tidied up instead. Trent got beaten in the first and only proper battle they had with him, which, after all his build up, is pretty disappointing for a villain many of us wanted to see be a big deal. It really just felt like they were trying to tidy up to get on with the epilogue, which is not what a lot of us were looking for with Trent especially.

And that's how most of their endings felt to me. It didn't feel like any of them had reached a comfortable conclusion. Literally all of them, bar Veth and Caduceus, continued on their character journey threads, without each other and very quickly. Meeting Yasha's tribe and Vandran, Caleb finally openly debating changing time for his parents, Trent and Zeenoth's trials and the changing of the guard at the Assembly... All were things it would have been so fun to have all the PCs react to and explore together, and instead they were fleeting encounters in the latter half of a seven hour finale.

Is all this, from Molly not really coming back to Trent being a finale side plot to the Nein continuing on their individual journeys, potentially realistic to how these fantastical things might go down in real life? Sure! But that's not necessarily a good thing.

Stories THRIVE on conflict and resolution. That’s what makes them FUN! Conflict isn’t nearly so fun in real life and resolutions are often frustrating question marks, so no, past a certain point I don’t WANT stories to be realistic. I want stories to be SATISFYING.

And campaign 2 has fallen far short of the mark.

I haven’t spoken... Basically a word of this for most of the campaign, because as I said I’m a firm believer that you can’t necessarily judge something until it’s over, and because I ALSO firmly believe that being negative WHILE trying to enjoy something is counterproductive. I have had no interest in spoiling or naysaying the fun of the campaign for anyone, least of all myself.

But it's done now, and all I can say is... I really have had fun. I love the characters. I love their relationships. I’m pretty okay with where they’ve ended up. I’m not mad, really, and I’m still going to think of this campaign with a lot of affection. But it hasn’t been a satisfying story, even though for a week following episode 140 I thought, despite all the brushed over story threads, it might be.

So... to try and reclaim some of that satisfaction for myself, I might ignore some aspects of the finale proper. Namely Kingsley specifically. Taliesin's choice -- but to me, it's pretty clear that who we saw at the end of 140 was Molly, and the tags on my posts will reflect that, just as my 141 tags will be for both Kingsley and Molly, for clarity's sake. I personally want to believe Molly did come back, however others might want to interpret it. The victory in 140 that meant so much to me is hollow otherwise, and it just kind of hurts that we would lose Molly after everything. I was okay with him being dead -- I'm not so okay with his resurrection being stolen.

Kingsley will always be canon, but Molly is what I choose to acknowledge. I get if you don't like that take, and that's okay! I didn't care for canon's in the end. That's the good thing about storytelling, is that no one can stop you from making your own versions.

For the people who are hopefully hyped for campaign 3, heck yeah have fun! I’m on the fence. My investment, which... I think I can objectively say was pretty substantive as this blog will attest, doesn't feel rewarded, so I’m not convinced I can faithfully keep up for over three years all over again with a strong possibility that I will once again be left disappointed. It's been a huge chunk of my life, and... yeah!

I’ll take a break, probably, view (and liveblog, if people want!) campaign 1 when I’ve had a mental stretch and vacation, and then... I might start campaign 3. I definitely won’t be able to put the same time in it I did campaign 2 (my first love no matter what), knowing that it’s likely to not be so vindicated, in the end.

I swear I’m actually writing this in fairly good humour, but I totally get its always disappointing when the people you come to for fandom enjoyment just aren't sharing your fun. Honestly I’m half tempted to write all those frigging AUs I have sitting around! But I wanted to say my piece, and try and logically outline why this ending has been lacklustre for so many people, ultimately myself included.

Episode 140 felt right because it felt like a natural conclusion -- these disparate people coming together and finally being whole, finally soothing the hurt that MADE them so long ago. Episode 141 spat on that sentiment -- they all scattered to the winds, not as happy people to live out their dreams, but as confused people chasing up loose threads towards an unknown future, with the friend they thought returned still lost to them, ultimately.

It doesn't feel like the ending we should have gotten for the Mighty Nine, who were finally, finally all together. Until they weren't. So to me? I choose to acknowledge that they were, even if I have to force it to happen post-epilogue in my head.

#critical role #cr spoilers #c2e141 #c2e140 #ramblings #long post #first time i've used that tag but i figure people should be able to block this if they want to! #molly #kingsley #trent ikithon #the mighty nein

[clumsy-hood]

obey me! demon brothers + realizing they’re in love with mc

prompt: the order in which the brothers would realize they are in love with mc (sooner → later).

word count: 1,277

a/n: i know i said this in an earlier post, but the goal going forward will be to (hopefully) post my writing—commissions included—on weekends. i have quite a few concepts and rough drafts sitting in my notes that i still need to finish writing and editing. so far, it’s just a matter of finding the time to actually do it. but if anyone has any prompt lists they want to throw my way too, i’m open to finding additional inspiration!

1 → Mammon

Outwardly, yes, it would take him a while to drop the instant denial front he constantly threw up whenever someone accused him of having feelings for you. But inside? He knew he wanted to spend as much time with you as he possibly could and shower you with gifts he’d try to save up for or earn. And if it was possible to get a matching gift, then he’d splurge a little extra because it meant something more connected you to one another and was a special thing shared between you—and ONLY you two. Hell, with your permission, he even left the occasional t-shirt or jacket in your room—and even secretly stashed his toothbrush in your bathroom due to passing out after too many late-night movie marathons. Sure, his brothers’ constant teasing annoyed him to no end, but even Mammon couldn’t deny he was greedy for your time. He loved you so soon and suddenly, wanting to hold your hand and never let you go. 

2 → Asmo: 

Without a doubt, Asmo knew he was attracted to you from the moment he laid eyes on you—although it wasn’t your physical beauty that snared him but rather the aura you exuded. Of course, the physical attraction was undeniable to him as well so he couldn’t help the showering of compliments that rained from his lips; he is, after all, the Avatar of Lust, and actions such as those were completely second nature to him. It started with the lingering touches, though, when he realized something was amiss this time. His skin warmed unnaturally wherever your brushed against his—even if for just a moment—and lingered on him throughout the day. It never truly hit him until he’d regularly seek out your company for seemingly platonic or romantic reasons—without desiring any future sexual gratification. Obviously, those thoughts occupied his mind and the flirting with you never ceased—unless you asked him to, of course—but after centuries of experiencing lust and adoration, love consumed his heart, and he merely wanted you to feel the same for him in return. 

3 → Satan: 

With all his knowledge of fictional romance in TV shows and books, Satan was convinced he would truly know a romantic love—if he were able to experience it—by the excitement and explosive emotions it carried. However, he was quick to discover it was quite the opposite with you: The rage he carefully concealed with polite smiles and intellect was blanketed in warmth and peace whenever you were around. It was a sudden shock to him, the first time he realized he wasn’t consumed with anger, and all because he was in your presence. The demon regularly sought your company, adoring your attention—whether it was listening to him discuss the plot twist in a mystery novel he was reading or showing you his favorite spots in Devildom he never shared with his brothers. He was never in denial about his emotions for you; all he knew was that a human saw kindness and good in him, and he wanted to prove—at least to himself—he was worthy of such good. 

4 → Lucifer: 

It wasn’t so much that Lucifer would ever be in denial of these feelings—once he’d realized he was in love with you, it was like every nerve was set on fire—but rather he was concerned hi emotions would compromise Diavolo’s goals. Every moment you spent laughing and smiling with his brothers rather than with him left the demon frustrated and hopelessly hollow believing he couldn’t keep you as close as he’d like. Even the slightest graze from you, however platonic or intentional, left the spot blazing from your touch. You were meant to drive him crazy in the worst possible ways and yet all the traits he wanted to despise were only found endearing. Your stubbornness, your kindness, and your curiosity—all attributes that should have maddened him to no end, he noticed, came from a place of love as well. The demon may struggle to consider a human to be his equal, but he’ll never question his love of your presence, your smile, your touch, your damn—well—everything. And as much as he wouldn’t want to jeopardize Diavolo’s plan, loving you makes him doubt every other thing. 

5 → Belphie: 

Even if his hatred towards human quickly faded upon the discoveries of Lilith and her connection to you, opening himself up to the idea of being in love with you was a genuinely jarring concept to him. Especially if you found it in yourself to forgive him for, you know, killing you, Belphie wanted to prove himself worthy of your forgiveness in the first place—even if he tended to be a little shithead going about it. Like most of the brothers, he was rather needy for your time and attention, but where they often showed you their favorite spots in Devildom, he sought quiet areas around the House of Lamentation where the two of you could be alone. Something about you was so soft and warm to him. Honestly, most of his dreams were filled with visions of your smile and laugh, your body pressed snuggly against his. Maybe he wasn’t the most forthcoming with his love, but he never shied away from telling you how much he wanted to live with only you and Beel forever. He’s a demon with some regrets—hurting you being at the top of the list—but being the reason for your smile eased the guilt bit by bit. 

6 → Levi: 

An overwhelming sense of confusion and denial would leave him on the fence for a long time until he’d come to terms with his feelings towards you. And honestly, you couldn’t really blame the demon—Levi’s main loves for years have been 2D characters so suddenly developing such strange emotions or an attraction to a real human would be damning to him. It couldn’t be helped, though. For all he had tried to push you away or disregard your norm opinions, he couldn’t help how giddy he’d get whenever you’d agree to watch a new anime with him or introduce him to a new idol band. He was wholeheartedly convinced you must clearly be doing this out of pity or something—no matter if your heart was truly in it or not—because even his brothers never seemed to give his interests the rapt attention you offered him. He could be alone in his room and only think of how it’d be better with you there; or how he wanted to keep you so close, your fragrance would linger on his clothes so it was as though you were always with him. 

7 → Beel: 

Unlike some his brothers shacking up in a state of denial, Beel took longer to realize he was in love with you simply because he could never put his feelings into words. He knew he enjoyed spending time with you—rooming with you while Belphie was “away” was one of the initial highlights of your first stay in Devildom—and he was one to admit he considered you family to him, caring for you as he does for his brothers. Except, it was different. Maybe because you weren’t his actual family but his chosen family? He was never sure for the longest time. And yet, you were the only one he offered any of his food to and went out of his way to invite you out for dinner—which, in his mind, was a completely normal and friendly thing. But it’d strike him down like a bolt of lightning, realizing all of these feelings, once you’d offered to make him human food, and boy was he a goner. 

#obey me #obey me! #obey me! shall we date? #obey me headcanons #obey me hc #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me imagine #obey me blurb #obey me drabble #clumsy-hood #my writing #commissions open

[lumoshyperion]

I hope this is ok, but do you have any recs for canon compliant post cc scorbus? I like long but one shots are ok too. Thank you very much.

Ahhh, I must admit I'm a bit behind in terms of Cursed Child fics - particularly canon compliant ones, as my favourites have always been AUs. I've also been reading mostly fics from other fandoms lately, and before that I just didn't have the time? And I had a long fic rec list saved to my drafts, but it was a rookie mistake not having a backup because now it's been lost along with my old blog 😭

But I've put together just a couple of fics and anyone who has their own recs is more than welcome to suggest them! Either on this post or through my ask box, and I'll share whatever you rec! ❤

The Quietly Series by starlightpeddler Albus and Scorpius aren't sure what they're doing when their relationship starts to change, and they discover the complexities of balancing a relationship and keeping secrets while immersed in Hogwarts where nothing stays quiet for long. As they find their footing in uncharted territory, Scorpius finds out he bears a heavier burden than just the Malfoy name, and Albus realizes some things are more important than his life.

It's Tea Time Series by ellizablue Ginny Potter estimates it will only take three days into the Weasley-Potter family holiday for Albus to act on his feelings for his best friend. Albus estimates it will only take three days for him to die of embarrassment. And Scorpius, well. Scorpius is just glad to be there with Albus in the first place.

We Had Found the Stars by gobstoneswithhector Albus is just trying to get through Fifth and Sixth Year without imploding from the growing feelings he has toward his best friend. A post-Cursed Child, episodic slow burn about mending relationships and finding happiness.

a perfect heart's length away by trolleybitch Once the dust has settled after their fateful trip back in time to Godric's Hollow, Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy return to their fourth year at Hogwarts, but not everything falls neatly back into place. Memories of the suffering they witnessed won't be easily forgotten, their relationships with their parents are tricky to navigate, and their friendship is under more strain than ever. They find that sometimes, writing letters is the best way to express the things that are too difficult to say out loud.

sun sinks down, no curfew by dustyspines Albus and Scorpius never actually thought they would make it to the end of their seventh year in one piece. Except now they have and the entire wizarding world is waiting to see what the two of them do next. Nobody really expects them to take a month-long trip around Europe to escape from their impending future. But, Albus thinks, they've never had the simplest of lives, so why would they start now? A month away from the hustle and bustle of life at home is exactly what the two of them need after their recent escapades and perhaps, Albus thinks, it'll give him time to try and work out when Scorpius started to look so pretty in his eyes.

Christmas Isn't Cancelled by starlightpeddler Albus Potter isn't doing well after the events of Godric's Hollow. In fact, he's doing very poorly, and it's up to those who love him the most to help him through it. Even Scorpius can't seem to cheer him up, and it will take a Christmas miracle to break him out of this rut.

Magical Months by hogwartsahoy September is always the start of a new, fresh year for Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy. Told through the point of view of others close to them over the entire seven years at Hogwarts, each September brings a chance to start anew and grow for the two Slytherin boys, who grow closer and closer to each other as the years go by.

Conversations for a Rainy Day by SunshineScorpius A collection of ficlets following the conversations between Scorpius and Albus that take part on rainy days. A.k.a. SUPER soft boyfriend snippets.

petal-pink by the almostrhetoricalquestion In the middle of the night, some of the Slytherin Sixth Years swap Albus Potter’s shampoo out for hair dye. Pink hair dye. The consequences of this prank knock very politely on the window into Scorpius’s whirring brain, and, when he refuses to lift the latch, they proceed to batter it down and force him to face the truth. Albus Potter is extremely pretty, and Scorpius is a fool for not paying more attention to this fact.

#Cursed Child #ccsquad #Scorbus #it's hard to narrow down fics to canon compliant post canon ones? #because a lot of people don't actually tag that. #but hopefully you haven't read these ones already!! #and I'll post any suggestions I receive!! #sorry I couldn't be more helpful!

[calumrose]

At The End Of The Day || L.H

A//N: Long time no see! Hello! It’s been a hot minute since I posted on here, and considering I finally managed to sit down and finished something that I started, I decided it was worthy enough to post. Hopefully I’m gonna have a few more things in the works with any luck, so keep an eye out for those! Anyway, I hope you guys like this!

Word Count: 5.9k

The end of the day was always a favourite time of Luke’s – a time when all the events which made up the hours that he had spent awake came to a halt, when the ticking of the clock seemed to slow down as the sun would begin to set. It was a time where he could slow down, much like that of the clock, where he could lay his head against the back of the sofa and take a breath as his mind caught up with his body on the events of the day. It was a time reserved for him and his family.

The familiar voices of Winnie The Pooh and his friends filled the living room, their adventure taking them deep into the hundred-acre wood, towards the destination that Elle had reminded Luke was called ‘Heffalump Hollow’ (as if he could forget). The contagious laugh of Tigger erupted through the speakers along with the springing sound of his tail as he bounced, the quiet stutter of Piglet sounding not too long after him, asking him where he was going. Luke had forgotten how many times he had watched this same scene, the same movie, in that week, let alone in his lifetime. It was a favourite of the girls, one they requested often, and who was Luke to deny their bright blue eyes blinking up at him when they asked.

A movement on Luke’s chest broke his attention from the animation which played out on the screen in front of him, his eyes dropping to look downwards. His gaze fell to a small head of blonde curls, a little peeking out from beneath the blanket which covered their two bodies. He felt a pair of little knees pushing against his stomach, Kenzie’s little body wriggling slightly against him as she attempted to move herself further up, a soft grumble sounding from between her pouted lips as she attempted to climb. Subtly, Luke slipped his hands beneath her arms and helped her out, chuckling quietly under his breath as he moved her, allowing for her to settle a little closer to him than where she had been laying previously. Her curls tickled his neck as she tucked her head in, a warm cheek becoming pressed up against the crook where his neck met his shoulder, messy curls tickling Luke’s jaw and ear.

A content sigh slipped from Kenzie’s small, pouting lips, a little wisp of air tickling Luke’s skin as she relaxed once more. Luke pulled the blanket a little further up, making sure Kenzie’s torso was once again covered by the warm fabric, protecting her same frame from the slight draft which was known to creep in after sunset. He brought a hand to lay on her back, the tip of his thumb lightly brushing the back of her small neck with every gentle swipe.

Looking down the best he could without moving his head too much, Luke caught a glimpse at his youngest daughter, a small smile curling at his lips as soon as his eyes caught sight of her own. He could see the reflection of the TV in her sweet eyes, the sparkles within them catching the light of the TV, only making the blue of her iris seem brighter. She looked so calm, yet so enthralled by the colourful movie, her lashes fluttering against her cheeks with every slow blink as she watched her favourite characters chatter and run around.

His children’s expressions always fascinated Luke: how their little faces could make the simple smile seem like the most incredible thing he had ever seen. Kenzie’s expressions were slowly developing as she got older, her little face always trying to copy whatever faces Elle would pull or the faces she would watch you and Luke make at her when playing. Kenzie’s current favourite was the most recent one that Elle had taught her, her older sister being very proud of herself for having taught the little one to copy it. She loved to stick her tongue out at you and Luke, giggling and clapping her hands together when she knew she had been caught. She always found it funny when you caught her little tongue poking out from between her lips. Even you and Luke had to admit that it was quite funny considering how young she was.

Luke let his eyes drift across the room, ears pricking up at the sound of his eldest’s voice talking quietly – he assumed – to herself. He caught sight of you laying across the floor, your head resting against a cushion which you had taken from the other sofa, tilted to the left as you looked up at the TV where Elle was pointing. Blue eyes drifted downward, his focus falling to where Elle’s head lay on your stomach, one of your hands lightly running through her curls, which you had pulled free from the ponytail that they had been tied in earlier in the afternoon.

He could just make out the hint of natural pink in her supple cheeks, her grin pushing them upwards as she giggled at the incident that occurred between Rabbit and Tigger. He could hear you talking back to her, your voice low and delicate, a caring, motherly tone lacing your voice as you answered what he assumed was a question that she had asked.

The movie continued to play, bright colours flashing across the screen as the story developed further and new characters were introduced. You noticed Elle’s face light up when her favourite scenes played, and her eyes lit up upon seeing them, her little mouth mumbling along to the ‘Shoulder to Shoulder’ song the best she could, her little head swaying from side to side as she remained to lay against you.

You also noticed the sadness in Elle’s eyes when the scene where Roo and Lumpy were unable to find Lumpy’s mother played, the two boys trekking through the woods in search of her. It broke your heart to see her look so sad, her little eyes turning big and glossy as she looked up at the screen. You continued to comb your fingers through her hair to comfort her, your fingertips tucking straggling curls around her ears, your skin gently brushing against the shell of her ear as you moved your hand back into her curls.

“Mumma, what if Lumpy can’t find her?” Elle sniffled, her head turning to look at you from where she lay. Your eyes met her blue ones, seeing the shine in them from the unshed tears which threatened to bubble at the sad occurrence that played out in her favourite movie.

You wanted to remind her that she knew how the movie ended, that she knew that the little Heffalump would find his mother shortly and be reunited, but part of you felt like that was ruining the effect of the movie for her. You still wanted to assure her that it was alright though, that it would turn out alright.

“Don’t worry, baby, he’ll find her. He’s just got to look a little further, yeah? He’ll find his Mumma soon.” You whispered the words to her, looking down at her and offering a reassuring smile in the hopes of relieving the little ounce of sadness which she felt.

Luke watched from where he lay on the couch, eyes never tearing from the sight of you and Elle as you talked quietly to one another and watched as the plot of the children’s movie continued to unfold before you. It amazed him how you were with the girls, how they looked at you like you were their world, much like how you said they looked at him, but he swore it was different when their eyes fell to you. There was something different in the way which they saw you, something different which sparkled in the blue ocean of their irises. He couldn’t pinpoint what exactly it was, but he knew it was something special, something that he, himself, could never receive. It was only reserved for you, a unique light which sparked within them when it came to you.

You had always said that your girls were definitely ‘Daddy’s girls’ but Luke swore in that moment when he looked at you and Elle, you were giving him a run for his money. He knew he would happily have one of his girls turn into a ‘Mumma’s girl’ any day of the week, loving nothing more than to see them with you and to bear witness to the love that they had for you especially.

As the movie slowly began to come to an end, the final scene starting to play out, Luke knew it was nearly time to get the girls ready for bed. It was getting late – ‘past their bedtime’ kind of late to be exact, and both of you were sure it wouldn’t take long for the girls to fall asleep once you put them to bed.

Luke took a glance down at where Kenzie laid on his chest, her head having moved so it was more curled downwards towards the centre of his chest, her shoulders hunched up as her body curled up in place. Her hands were tucked next to her face, little fingers curled into the fabric of Luke’s sweatshirt, grasping the soft grey item in her small hands as she snuggled her cheek against it. She looked cosy, the fringe of the blanket that was covering her tickled her skin, the cream-coloured tassels falling from the edging of the fabric and brushing her neck slightly.

He noticed how her eyes were closed, delicate lashes fluttering against her supple cheeks. Her lips curled into a pout as she slept, little puffs of air slipping out with every gentle breath she released. Luke wondered how long she had made it into the movie before she had drifted off, remembering how tired she was earlier in the evening when they had finished dinner, tired hands rubbing at her eyes as she let out a little yawn now and again. It appeared Kenzie had decided that she would dictate when her bedtime was this time.

The music which played alongside the credits was a tune that you and Luke swore you could sing in your sleep, it being a song you heard numerous times in the week, never mind that month, along with the many others which decorated the soundtrack of what was your girls’ favourite movie.

Gently, you encouraged Elle to get up, using your hand to help her sit upright before doing so yourself, the two of you standing to your feet before you handed her the cushion you had been resting on to go and put it back on the sofa where it belonged. Her little feet sounded delicately against the floor, skipping around the coffee table as she moved towards the sofa, leaning over with a soft grunt and she placed the cushion back in its original placement. You smiled as she gave it a gentle pat upon placing it down – a notion she had watched you do before.

“Right, missy, bath time, let’s go,” You ran your hand through her hair as she came back to stand in front of you, the two of you facing Luke who remained laying across the couch with Kenzie asleep on his chest. “Why don’t you go upstairs and pick out what toys you want in your bath and maybe, if you’re quick, Daddy will come and kiss you goodnight when you go to bed.”

“But Daddy always kisses me goodnight?” Elle furrowed her brow, a little confused. She tilted her head up to look at you as you stood behind her, the crown of her head pressing against your thigh.

Unable to help your smile, you cupped her face with your hands, her soft cheeks sitting in your palms as you leaned down and pressed a little kiss to the tip of her nose, mumbling a quiet, “Just go and pick some toys, okay? I’ll be up in a minute to start your bath.”

With another quick kiss to her nose, you sent her on her way, listening to her little feet as the sound of pitter patter bounced against the hallway floor, slowing down as she came towards the stairs, beginning to climb them one at a time. You could hear each foot make contact with each individual step, the rhythmic sound of ‘1-2’ sounding as she climbed. 

“Is she holding onto the railing?” Luke asked.

You leaned back slightly, just enough so you could catch the sight of Elle on the stairs through the open doorway. You watched as she took each step one at a time, her little hand clutching around the bars of the bannister like Luke had taught her as she climbed. Smiling, you gave him a nod, laughing softly as you watched her, noticing how she refused to take her eyes off her feet, watching every step she took to make sure she didn’t stumble. “Just like you’ve always told her to.”

“That’s my girl.” Luke said, proudly.

You each listened out for Elle as she entered the bathroom, the two of you wincing as you heard the door knocking against the wall, a small clatter sounding, Elle obviously having pushed it open a bit too eagerly. Continuing to listen out, you could hear Elle begin to rifle her way through the wicker basket which contained the collection of toys that were reserved for bath time.

“I suppose I should head up and make sure she doesn’t make it so that there’s more toys than water in her bath,” You reached a hand out as you moved closer to the couch where Luke and Kenzie lay, combing your fingers through Luke’s fluffy hair much like how you had done with Elle throughout the movie. It was a notion he loved, a soothing comfort which you had given him since the day you met, a natural placement where your hand would reside when you lay together. You smiled as you took notice of his expression shifting; how his eyes fluttered close momentarily and his smile became slightly looser around the edges. He was slowly slipping into relaxation – a common state whenever you played with his hair, even after all the time you had been together. “Are you okay to put Kenzie down while I give the princess a bath?”

“Of course,” Luke’s words were quiet as they fell, his eyes slowly opening and looking up to meet yours. “I’ll take her upstairs and get her changed before I put her down, and then I’ll come through and say goodnight to Elle.”

Luke swore he felt his heart sing at the sight of your smile, seeing the way your cheeks rose at the mention of putting your girls to bed. It was a special time for the two of you – bedtime. It was a time that had quickly become a favourite of yours as the girls had gotten that little bit older, finding the fun and love in the small interactions which came with wishing them a goodnight sleep. You both saw one another fall into their element at bedtime; voices having gone soft, touches even more so, and sweet smiles which looked up at the two of you made your hearts feel like they were close to bursting. 

Ascending to the top of the stairs meant that you were welcomed with the sound of gentle yet rapid chatter, Elle’s sweet voice coming from within the doorway of the bathroom as she continued to search through her basket of bath time toys to find her perfect selection. Luke dreaded to think how many she had already set aside, pushing them towards the white ceramic of the bathtub as she waited for you to come in and start filling the tub. He wondered if she had picked out her pink dolphin or if she had chosen her mermaid. He was sure he would find out soon enough, already anticipating the warm giggles he would, undoubtedly, hear echo through the hall. 

With a parting kiss to your hairline, Luke let you go to attend to your eldest. He watched as you left his side, his arms still settled comfortably around a sleeping Kenzie, and disappeared through the wooden doorway. As he passed the bathroom door himself, he spotted the few toys that Elle had set out on the floor, many of them littering your feet where you stood. Bath time was never dull when it came to Elle. 

Entering the nursery, Luke gently pushed the door open with his foot, catching it just before it swung too far, and carefully closed it behind him with a soft click once he was inside. His feet sunk into the soft carpet as he walked around the room, hands opening drawers without a second thought, fingers plucking a set of pyjamas from within them and gently tossing them to the changing table. 

Taking a few small strides towards the window, Luke reached down, making sure he had a good hold of Kenzie still, and flicked the switch which turned on her nightlight. He watched as the warm gold colour began to shine upwards, painting the ceiling in soft shapes which somewhat resembled that of the stars in the night sky.

Luke’s body knew Kenzie’s bedtime routine better than anyone, it seemed to move completely of its own accord as he walked around the room and prepared the nursery for the night ahead. Without thinking, Luke remembered to turn on her nightlight, to find one of the few pacifiers that seemed to inhabit Kenzie’s crib and lay it next to where her head would be.

Luke’s movements were steady as he slowly attempted to lower Kenzie down on the changing table, a hand cradling the back of her small head, while a large hand splashed across the base of her back. He lowered her legs down first, careful to make sure she was against the soft plush cushion on the table instead of the cold wood. Carefully setting her bottom half down, Luke slowly moved his hand further up her back, lowering her down further. 

The sweet noises Kenzie made went straight to his heart, as if Cupid, themself, were scoring a perfect bullseye with his arrow. Luke felt his heart clench with every noise that slept past Kenzie’s small lips, the sounds so soft and quiet that he swore he almost missed them. He knew that the separation would possibly upset, even risk waking her, but he hoped that with the warmth that danced around the room, she would remain asleep so he could get her tucked up in her crib without having her be unsettled. 

Laying her head down came quite easy, the back of Luke’s hand gently resting against the patterned cushion of the changing table, remaining there for a moment extra as he looked down at his sleeping daughter. Her cheeks were slightly rosy from having laid against Luke for the past hour or so, the warmth of his body having radiated through his clothes and onto her skin. Running a thumb along the outside of Kenzie’s face, Luke smiled at the feeling of her skin against his own, watching the way her face slightly turned towards his touch. 

Carefully and slowly, Luke began to retract his hand from beneath her head, the movement steady and delicate as he allowed for the back of her head to rest against the table, whispering a quiet “there we go, sweetheart” once his hand was free. He knew this wasn’t going to be easy — undressing the sleeping baby and attempting to dress her again. Kenzie was a heavy sleeper, and Luke was certain she could sleep through a lot of things, but this? Maybe not.

Nimble fingers began to unclip the buckles of Kenzie’s dungarees, carefully moving the straps so they lay against the table next to Kenzie’s head. Luke was careful to keep the noise and movements to a minimum, gentle hands being used to lift Kenzie’s bottom half up slightly as his thumb and index finger of one hand carefully pulled on the denim leg of her outfit, causing the fabric to slip off her leg so Luke could remove it. Once one leg was free, Luke moved onto the other, copying the same actions as done with the previous. Removing the fabric from Kenzie completely, Luke removed it from the table with one of his hands, gently lowering Kenzie down with the other, so she lay completely against the table once more. He placed the denim attire on the rocking chair not too far behind him, mentally reminding himself to toss it into the washing hamper, along with the rest of her clothes once he had put Kenzie down.

Next were her socks. Luke’s fingers grabbed a hold of the little white frill which decorated the edge of the item, the lace delicate and frail between his fingers much like Kenzie. Holding onto her leg with a gentle hold, Luke began to pull down the ribbed fabric, removing it from her foot and allowing for her little bean-sized toes to be exposed to the warm air in the bedroom. He made quick work of the other sock too, chuckling quietly to himself as she watched Kenzie move one of her legs, watching from the corner of his eye as he noticed the movement of her little toes, watching how they curled and wiggled once becoming free from the confinements of the socks she had worn that day.

He managed to carefully remove her t-shirt, slipping out an arm at a time before being able to stretch the collar just enough to slide it over her head without too much difficulty. Getting her pyjamas on wasn’t too hard when it came to it. Lifting Kenzie gently back up, holding her against his chest, Luke managed to straighten out her cloud themed pyjamas so he could lay her down on top of them. Using a gentle hold, he slipped both of her legs into the corresponding spaces, popping her little feet through the soft cuffs at the end. He laughed to himself as he attempted to get her arms into the sleeves, gently pulling the sleeves down over her wrists so her hands became free also. 

Gently lifting the split edges of her pyjamas, Luke lay them against her chest, making sure each button was lined up with the hole he would have to pop it through to secure the fabric on Kenzie’s small frame. He heard soft noises begin to slip from her lips, little whines sounding as she lifted an arm in the air, a fragile hand coming to wipe at her face. 

Luke brought his own hand up, curling his index finger as he brushed his knuckle against the apple of her cheek, pursing his lips as he began to hush her. His skin grazed her soft cheek, gently allowing for the sensation to tickle her lightly, mixing in with the quiet pushing of air that fell from his lips as they mixed to create a beautiful soothing commotion which he hoped Kenzie found settling. 

“Shhh… that’s it, sweetheart…” Luke’s voice barely whispered, looking down at her with kind eyes as her face scrunched and head turned. He knew she was probably getting cold, having been undressed and left with her pyjamas open against her chest. Luke would fix that soon enough. “Nearly done, baby, and then we’ll get you tucked up in bed, yeah?” 

Her whines slowly began to quieten, her lips pouting as she wriggled in place, slowly bringing her arm back down to rest beside her. She began to settle against his touch, a content hum sounding from within her throat that made Luke’s heart fly. The sound brought a warm smile to return to Luke’s face, one that was reserved for his girls, one that only they had the power to pull from him. 

It amazed Luke how easy it was with them, how easy he found it to be so helplessly in love with two little girls who were all the best parts of him but more so of you. He loved watching them grow, watching them discover, it had become his favourite thing to witness. Being able to watch them from the very moment they entered the world to the moments that he lived with them now was the best gift he could ever have dreamed of.

At the end of the day this was what his life was destined to be — full of love and light. 

Luke made nimble work of buttoning up Kenzie’s pyjamas, quietly counting each button as he successfully secured it through the corresponding slot. Upon securing the final button, Luke rested his thumbs against the collar of Kenzie’s soft clothing, index fingers stretching up and gently brushing against the supple skin of her cheeks. He smiled at how rosy they remained to be, chuckling quietly as he noticed her little lips, which were shaped like delicate petals, and as pretty as a magnolia in May, part slightly at the faint touch.

Behind the closed door, Luke could faintly hear the voices that belonged to the two other souls which inhabited the home, their sweet voices ringing in giggles and playful squeals that were muffled slightly by the wooden door. He could hear the faint splashing of water, followed by the soft sound of ‘Mumma, look!’. Luke wondered what Elle would be showing you, what had caused her voice to be laced with such eagerness that she demanded your attention in that moment. He wondered what her face looked like, if her smile was wide and infectious like it was known to be or if her eyes had gone wide as her hand pointed to her new discovery. 

“It sounds like Elle’s having a lot of fun in there, huh?” Luke mumbled quietly, not quite sure if he was talking to himself or the sleeping baby in front of him, aware she was unable to answer even if she were awake. “I wonder how much water will be on the floor by the time she’s all clean.” 

Bringing Kenzie back to his chest felt like a warm hug, Luke’s hands slipping beneath her body and head as he lifted her up, removing her from the changing table. He settled her gently against him, resting her so her chest lay peacefully against his, and her little feet fell against his stomach, her small toes grazing against the fabric of his jumper. 

With a hand laid comfortably on her small back, thumb and pinkie curling around either side of her, Luke began to carry her across the room to her crib. Careful feet pressed against the plush carpet, heels and toes sinking into the soft fabric of the rug which decorated the centre of the room as he crossed it. He pressed a kiss to the side of her head as he walked, the touch so light that he barely felt it himself, wisps of her blonde tickling his nose as he leaned in. 

Luke came to the edge of Kenzie’s crib, gently beginning to bring Kenzie away from his chest, hands carefully holding her as he began to lower her down, allowing for her body to connect with the soft, comfortable mattress in her crib. Luke continued to softly hush her, hearing her soft noises begin to increase once again at the loss of warmth she suffered when separated from him. 

Luke grazed a knuckle against her cheek like he did before, continuing the soft hushing as he reached down for her blanket, pulling the familiar soft fabric upwards. He tucked it over her body, making sure her chest and shoulders were covered, as well as making sure her small feet were protected from the night air. Gentle fingers made sure she was tucked in, that she would stay warm throughout the night with the trusty blanket, a gift that she had slept with since the first night she was brought home. 

“Sleep tight, sweetheart.” Luke bid her a warm goodnight. 

Bringing his eyes back to her sweet face, Luke felt his heart fly once more. Her lips remained parted, cheeks rosy, and lashes fluttered delicately against her soft skin. Luke wondered how he ever got so lucky, how he had become so blessed to have a family like he did, to have you, to have his girls, to have everything that he could have ever wanted right in front of him. 

At the end of the day, Luke had everything he needed. He had a family. 

Moving just a few steps down the hallway, Luke was welcomed to the sound of the two voices which he heard previously. He followed the voices, a smile still on his face as they increased in volume with the closer he got to the familiar bedroom door that was left ajar. He peeked through the crack, feeling the warmth in his stomach strike like a warm fire upon seeing the sight that his eyes were welcomed with. 

The two of you were tucked up in Elle’s bed, the four-year-old curled into your arms as you gently brushed her damp curls back with the tips of your fingers. She was tucked under the covers, the pink sheets brought up to her shoulders as her cheek became pressed against your chest. You tucked locks of golden hair behind her ears, fingertips brushing the small shell as you kissed the top of her head, listening to her small voice as she talked quietly. 

Her words were sweet, little hands playing with the rings on your finger. You watched as she twisted them, the smooth band twirling along your finger as you listened to the words she was tiredly stringing together. The metal of the ring caught the light which cascaded over Elle’s bedroom, her bedside lamp emitting a soft glow across the room, the golden shine catching the ring. 

Minutes seemed to pass as Elle continued to talk, her voice eventually slowing down, words being interrupted by yawns and her eyes slowly began to fall heavy. You felt the weight of her head grow too, her body moving closer to yours as she attempted to cuddle in further. 

“I think it’s about time that a certain someone went to sleep, hm?” Luke chuckled from where he stood by the door, his smile spreading as he caught the two sets of eyes turning to look at him. “It’s past your bedtime, baby girl.” 

Elle let out a childish whine, hands clenched into fists as she reached up and rubbed at her eyes, as if attempting to rid them of the tired ache which resided in them, a quiet “No it isn’t” coming out mixed with a yawn. 

She knew it was past her bedtime, that you had allowed her to stay awake just that little while longer so Luke could say goodnight like you had promised. It amused the two of you how she could barely get through her feeble attempt to argue without letting a yawn slip amid her sentence. 

Luke pushed himself off the doorframe, taking the few steps required to come to the side of Elle’s bed. Kneeling so he was balanced on the balls of his feet, he rested a hand on the edge of her mattress to keep himself steady. He watched as you readjusted Elle, kissing the top of her head as you lay her down, so her head was resting against her confetti-patterned pillow. 

“I think your yawn says otherwise, sweetheart. It’s bedtime for you,” You pressed a kiss to her forehead, brushing your nose against hers. Her blue eyes were growing heavier with every minute, her hands grasping onto the underside of her duvet and she pulled it upwards, tucking it beneath her small chin as she began to snuggle in. She seemed to be cosy, her cheek pressed up against the clean sheets that were still warm from the dryer. “Now say goodnight to Dad and you’ll see him in the morning, okay?” 

She gave a tired nod, her eyes barely open as she turned her head to look at Luke. Blue eyes met blue as she looked up, a sleepy smile on her face as he gave her a sweet smile reserved for her. 

“I’ll see you in the morning, okay, baby?” Luke whispered to her, leaning in to press a goodnight kiss to her forehead, just next to the spot where you had left your own sweet touch. “I love you.”

“Love… Love you too, Dad.” She said through another tired yawn, earning a soft, warm laugh from Luke. 

You both stayed by her bedside for a few extra minutes, your hand gently combing through her hair as she drifted off to sleep, while Luke’s voice gently hummed the same tune that it had since the day she was born. The tune never failed to send her to sleep, even as she grew older, the smile on her face remaining as she listened to the sweet lullaby that belonged to her and let it lull her into a peaceful slumber. 

“Sweet dreams, sunshine.” Luke whispered as he hummed the final line of the song, pressing a soft kiss to Elle’s hairline, before he stood to his feet. 

With gentle steps and quiet hands, the two of you left your eldest’s bedroom, closing the door behind you to prevent any unwelcome sound disturbing her throughout the night. 

The house became quiet once the girls had been put to bed, the blissful silence which enveloped every room of the house became a sound that was almost strange to hear. It was a rare sound, one only reserved for the hours after their bedroom doors were closed and their minds were full of sweet, childish dreams. 

Letting out a breath, you tilted your head back as you blindly looked at the ceiling, your tired eyes closing as you took in the silence for a moment. A pair of warm arms could be felt slipping around your waist, a head on your shoulder and a set of lips pressing a gentle kiss to the crook of your neck. 

“I swear if I have to watch Lumpy find his Mum one more time this week…” 

Luke pressed his mouth against your skin to muffle his laugh at your words, his chest vibrating against your back. 

“You mean to tell me that you don’t enjoy watching the same movie three times in one day?” You could hear the sarcasm that laced his voice. 

“Not particularly, but I do like to watch the girls when they watch it. That’s enough to get me through Lumpy’s word game song every time.” You rested your head back against his shoulder, eyes remaining closed. “I’ll watch a hundred times a day if I get to see Elle’s little face light up when she sees Lumpy for the first time.” 

Luke let out a soft hum, pulling you close to his chest as he held you there, taking in the moment. He realised then that he hadn’t had a chance to hold you throughout the day, not having been given the chance to have a moment with you alone until the evening. 

You were warm to hold, your skin soft against his, like you always were whenever he got the chance to have you in his arms. He was always at how perfectly you fit with him, how your body slotted perfectly in his hold like the piece of the finest jigsaw. Luke knew he would hold you like that for as long as he could if he could get away with it. 

He had found a home in you and you had made a home with him.

And there was no better place to be at the end of the day.

---

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[bruhstories]

Vogel und Jäger

Summary: You accidentally witness a murder, but the murderer takes pity on you. Pairing: Zeke Jaeger x Fem!Reader (mafia AU) Warnings & Content: murder, language, angst Word Count: 1.7 k

A/N: i've been dying for a mafia au with zeke so here's part one of the series Vogel und Jäger. i have two more chapters drafted, and i'll try to post for this series weekly so i can write some moooore for it.

Bang!

The blood-curling sound was familiar to your ears. A gunshot — followed by the gurgling of a man.

Bang!

Another shot and the gurgling stopped. Panic settled in your heart, making you jump back and knock the metallic bin which served as a shield against the perpetrators.

Shit.

Footsteps drew closer and you began to pray. Running was futile. Running was always futile. Your throat was dry, your mascara was smeared all over your cheeks from all the tears, lips chapped and bleeding.

Our Father, who art in Heaven...

The cold muzzle of the gun pressed onto your forehead and you shivered, breath hitching, eyes glued to the wet pavement.

Hollowed be thy name...

The Mafia never spared any witnesses, you knew that all too well, even if you happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Thy Kingdom come...

"Hey, boss, we got a girl."

"Kill her."

"No, please!" You threw yourself at the feet and mercy of the armed man. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! Please, I'm only nineteen!" Through the sobs, your voice was still melodious, syrupy. So sweet that the boss stopped in his tracks.

Thy will be done...

Another pair of footsteps approached, tentatively, not as eager as the first person. You still haven't looked up, too scared to even blink, to even breathe.

On earth, as it is in Heaven...

"Hand me the gun, Yelena."

"As you wish, boss."

You felt someone crouch down next to you, someone dressed in expensive clothing, by the look of the trousers and polished shoes.

Give us this day our daily bread...

"You've got a very pretty voice." He lifted your chin up with the barrel of the gun, chills running down your spine.

"T-thank y-you..."

"Can you sing, little bird?"

"Y-yes."

And forgive us our trespasses...

Finally, you looked at the perpetrator — spellbinding grey eyes, platinum blonde hair slicked back and a matching goatee. His gaze was either boring or pitiful.

"Lucky you, we're hiring."

As we forgive those who trespass against us...

Anxiety coiled in your stomach, words caught up in your throat. You were still praying, unaware if this was all a sadistic joke or a miracle.

And lead us not into temptation...

Dark lashes fluttered, more tears streaming down your beautiful face as the gears in your head turned in a desperate attempt to understand what was happening.

But deliver us from evil...

"Hiring?" Your voice went up an octave when you saw the small stag pinned to the man's chest. The Jaeger family — the most feared mafia family in Paradis City.

For thine is the kingdom...

"A pretty voice like yours shouldn't go to waste." He got up and offered you his hand.

And the power, and the glory...

Reluctantly, you took it, helping yourself up and chewing your lower lip.

For ever and ever...

"T-thank you!" You told him, slender fingers squeezing his hand tightly. "I owe you m-my life."

Amen.

"Correct. Your life, your soul, your eyes and ears." He walked you to a car and opened the door for you. "Yelena, take us to the club. We've got business to discuss with my little brother."

•°.•°.•°.•°

Your eyes wandered all over the soundproof office, situated one floor above and opposite the stage. Every inch of the bar, the seating areas, everything was visible from that room. You tapped a finger on the wide window, eyes narrowed at the idea that it might, in fact, be bulletproof. These men were not playing, and you were now their property. The door opened and you jolted at the sound of music filling the office as your saviour walked in with two other people.

"This is my younger brother, Eren. You already know Yelena. I assume you know my name."

You nodded.

"Zeke Jaeger."

"Good girl." Zeke was pleased with your answer as he poured himself a glass of bourbon.

"I thought we didn't spare any witnesses." Eren shot you a look that made you regret being alive.

"Settle down, little brother. Tell us your name."

"Y/N, sir. Y/N Y/L/N." You swallowed, fingers fiddling with the hem of your blouse in an attempt to calm your nerves.

"You see, Eren, Y/N can sing." Zeke opened a drawer and pulled a gun out. More guns, more panic. Your eyes widened and your plump lips quivered when he aimed the gun at you with one hand, glass of alcohol in the other. "Sing or I paint the walls with your brains."

Your legs almost gave in at the threat — you knew it wasn't an empty one, and with all the courage you could muster, you closed your eyes and sang the first song that came to your mind, fucking Kiss from a Rose.

Your voice seemed to coat the people with honey, all three of them somewhat relaxing at the sweet sounds coming from your vocal cords.

"See, I told you she can sing." Zeke put the gun back in the drawer and closed it, swirling the bourbon in his glass before finishing it.

"Where do you live?" Eren crossed his arms, still suspicious of you.

"Historia's." You told him, eyes drifting to the ugly fur rug on the floor.

"The orphanage?"

"Yes."

"But you said you're nineteen." Zeke intervened, a brow quirked at you.

"I am. I try to help as much as possible in exchange for a bed and a roof over my head." You explained, eyeing the white couch that looked so incredibly comfortable.

"Just sit down already." Eren scoffed and you rushed to the furniture, mumbling thank you’s over and over.

"And why were you on that street tonight?" Yelena spoke for the first time since you came to the club. You looked at her and she seemed just as suspicious about you as Eren.

"I... the man you k-killed... he was... I'm-"

"A prostitute." Zeke nonchalantly interrupted you.

It was true. People like you, orphans, didn't have the privilege of being properly educated and finding well-paid jobs. Paradis was a jungle, and you did everything you could to survive. Everything.

"Well on the bright side you don't have to do that anymore." Zeke shrugged as he sunk deeper in his chair, feet on the desk, but you sensed he wasn't entirely honest. "You do have a beautiful voice, and our last girl had some... business to attend to, so you'll be taking her place."

"Is this why you called me here?" Eren sighed, leg impatiently shaking.

"Don't be stupid, of course not. I need Armin to prepare this month's tax reports and I need you to keep an eye on the police. They're sticking their nose in our business again, and I want them out of it. You two can go. Y/N, you stay." Zeke waved his hand and Eren and Yelena left, music briefly filling the office again.

You twiddled with the cushion in your lap, waiting for your new boss to say something. Being in that room was nerve-wracking, and you felt the air grow thick. Eventually Zeke took off his glasses, fingers rubbing the bridge of his nose as he sighed.

"Sir?" You dared, voice feeble and frail.

"What?" He clicked his tongue and you instantly regretted speaking.

"Sir, I'm not educated, but I've been on the streets long enough to know that every man or woman has a purpose..." You placed the cushion back. "...and a price. What's my purpose? I doubt it's only to sing."

Zeke nodded, fingers tracing the wooden desk.

"You're right, it isn't just to sing. It's to distract."

"Distract who? And from what?"

"You're asking an awful lot of questions for someone who's just witnessed a murder. You best not go to the police." He narrowed his eyes, piercing your soul. You sighed and walked to the desk, taking a seat opposite Zeke.

"It's not... my first murder." You confessed to him.

"Oh? My dear, you're full of surprises. Pray, tell. Drink?"

"Yes please." You answered, throat dry as a desert. "I can't go to the police. And even if I could, I wouldn't." The drink earned a disgusted look from you, but it was better than nothing. "Two years ago, I ended someone's life. He deserved it, he broke into Miss Historia's orphanage and tried to... to..."

"I understand." Zeke stopped you. "And if you go to the police, they'd do a background check on you." He continued, satisfied that he had a leverage in case you decided to turn against him.

"Exactly. And Historia helped me so much, I wouldn't want to put her in danger. So, I'm asking again, distract who from what?"

Zeke walked to the window, telling you to follow him. He pointed at two men, a tall blond one, and a short brunette one.

"See those two? They're policemen. They work for us, but we suspect they're double agents." He explained before pointing at three other men. "Those we suspect of being Marleyan mobsters. You see, Y/N, we have a lot of enemies. And we must keep our guard up every second of our lives."

You nodded, perfectly understanding Zeke's words. Paradis was a chess board and only the filthy rich played — the rest of you were pawns.

"Sir, you spared my life, and I know I can't ask for anything in return. But please, please don't drag Miss Historia into this. The children there did nothing wrong." Tears pooled at your eyes, rolling down your cheeks and you wiped them with the back of your hand. "I swear my loyalty to you."

"For someone uneducated, you're extremely clever." Zeke's voice was serious. You half-smiled at the compliment, but you knew the mess you got yourself into cut your lifespan severely. "Can you shoot?"

"No, sir."

"It's alright, Mikasa will teach you. Sleep on the couch tonight, I'll have Yelena bring you a blanket. Tomorrow you'll swear an oath in front of the family. And if you want to protect Historia, you'll move out of the orphanage."

You nodded. You understood that mingling with the mafia endangered everyone you loved, but you couldn't stop yourself from crying the entire night. Historia was but a few months older than you, yet she gladly took you in when she invested in that orphanage. Now you had to leave everything behind for her safety — and yours.

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