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#this is the only post about them i'll keep up
alllgator-blood · 11 hours
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I have ten billion WIP sketches I need to finish, but for some reason I stayed up from 9 PM to 4 AM conceptualizing, making patterns, sewing, painting and applying makeup on this stupid fucking felt squid......the detailing needs to be cleaned up cause there's only one coat of paint so far, but he's pretty much done
my neighbors probably think I'm insane because I was running around the yard clenching this toy kallamar in a death grip and flying him around like an airplane/putting him in the barbecue/poking him with a stick. I want to tie him to a string and recreate the opening of napoleon dynamite >:) ALSO I MADE HIM SMOKE OUT OF A STUPID CRYSTAL PIPE BUT PLEASE DON'T ACTUALLY USE THOSE, THEY ARE SUPER TOXIC LMAO MINE IS FOR DECORATION
I don't have any process pics because I had tunnel vision autism style and forgot the rest of the universe existed while I was working on him. BUT if you're curious I'll ramble below the cut
Okay I am not a seamstress by any means. I've sewn my entire life but very, very infrequently. I've done plushies, clothes, cosplays, fursuits, accessories, etc. but I only do one like once a year, so while I planned to make all 5 bishops, I'm not really sure I'll get them all done. The material cost was like 20 bucks tops so I'm not too upset if I don't finish them. I AT LEAST WANT TO GET SHAMURA OR HEKET DONE.
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here is the concept sketch ft. heket's toes and shamura's fingers. I decided to do his pre-schism version so I could fit him with jewelry! I did him first because like I said I sew infrequently and don't know wtf I'm doing, everyone else seemed a lot more complicated.
So I basically just traced this drawing on a printer paper-sized canvas in SAI, and guesstimated how everything would look in a 3D space. His head is four pieces, one triangle identical to the one in the picture, two wide triangles that are sewn together in the back, and a circle for his chin. You can't really see it in any of the pics but he's literally like a black cylindrical stick with little tentacles sewn on where his mantle connects to his cloak. The leg tentacles are one piece of felt that look like tassels, where they're connected by a rectangle but branch off into individual pieces. He can't stand up very well, so his cape keeps him up (that's gonna be an issue for every other bishop too except heket cause she's gonna be ROUND). Mostly everything like the crown, cloak, head, etc. are cones so I just had to make a lot of wide triangles.
For the details, I just used acrylic paint that was watered down so he's not especially crunchy, and for the blush tone I used a makeup palette my mom bought me 10 years ago in hopes I'd get in touch with my "feminine side", but I grew up into a nonbinary butch lesbian so OOPS. Kallamar looks better with makeup than me anyway. I'm kinda sad I couldn't get his freckles as lopsided as I draw them but it probably looks better in plush form to have them even anyway....
I could just post the pattern so I don't have to explain this but 1. I am mentally ill about the thought of my kallamar being in someone else's house and 2. the original pattern had to be tweaked while I was working on him so the final pattern straight up doesn't exist, I winged it the whole time
OH and the jewelry is just scrap pieces I had laying around, I might repaint it all to be gold instead of silver + bronze. I used 20g aluminum wire for his armlet thing, jumper rings for his earrings + ring (+ a diamond dot from my mom's kits for the gem) and chain for the bracelet. I made him an amulet as well but it felt like overkill so I took it off. I'm probably gonna make him a plague doctor mask and medicine bag sometime because I think about nurse kallamar more than I probably should :') I've already sewn one as a prop for a toy raven before so it shouldn't be too hard
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nana-b0b · 18 hours
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》🔞 These panels are censored, you can go to the last of the post to find out where to see them!
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A little historical info to better understand:
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♡♡♡♡♡!!! I really feel happy and overcome with these panels, I was thinking a lot about how to make them since there were several obstacles: I had never drawn something NSFW before as it should be 😅 I never got that far so to speak, there was always a line that prevented me from taking that step, since it is not the same to draw some small scene where you only see something specific to a whole pose as such and all that implies. But after many ideas and turns I managed to take that step (maybe small for some but for me it was like reaching the moon 😂) and the most important and most feared was that the essence of the drawings and the style would be lost but I could keep it well and make it coexist ♡.
Note: as for the text accompanying the panels I want to say that it's not my best work as a narrator hahaha I don't write anything since I was about fifteen and it was my era of fanfics and stuff, so I feel its very basic and empty! 😅 ♥!
Now, let's talk a bit about the panels! Well, as we all knew this moment was coming, it was no surprise -3- Ryomen really had to be patient to get what he had been thinking for a while, but he didn't want it to be something random as it could be with any woman he wanted, he was really curious to see how Aurora could look like with the full appearance of a lady of the Heian era and when he saw her, he just couldn't resist. One thing will be clear: Aurora won't wear black teeth again, there will be no way to paint her teeth again without someone losing a limb. As for her eyebrows: she's really mad about that, but I'll let it go.
And to close this post I come with a novelty (I've been thinking about this for days) now we are going to be able to have these drawings completely uncensored on patreon.
I'm not going to lie, using more than two social networks for me is already a lot 😥 if it were up to me I would only post everything in one place but we know how the rules are and we have to respect them, if just by showing a nipple (which is a pixel 😂 ) they almost censored me on Instagram I knew this would be difficult and Tumblr is not lagging behind, while there are things that it lets pass there are others that it doesn't and it's not nice to have to make such complex drawings so that the AI doesn't detect them as 🔞 since there comes a certain point that you get tired too and it loses the grace.
My patreon will be the place for all my works 🔞 without any censorship already, you are going to be able to enjoy both public and private content depending on the type of work ♡. I think also for me it's an incentive to be able to start letting go more of my ideas and continue with everything I want to do :)
To say goodbye first I want to always thank you for all the support you give me and all your messages 🖤 and second to warn you that this CAP of Ren will be in patreon already published privately but all the other censored drawings are public for you to see and enjoy them as they should ⭐
Here are the publications that I censored and that you can now see, there are not many at the moment x'D
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scorpioriesling · 1 day
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Random Tropes HC (pt. 2)
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Pairing(s): Lucien / Eris x reader
Warnings: slight sexual suggestions
Summary: Random tropes, and how each would play out, depending on the character... and you, of course.
SR’s Note: I saw a filter on Tik Tok where you can rank book tropes, and this idea came to mind. I am using my top 6 (not in order) for the purpose of these posts -- enjoy! Part 1
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Lucien - "Only One Bed"
You were definitely crushing on Lucien -- who wouldn't?
You were close with him and Tamlin, working at the Spring Manor until you became more than an employee, but a friend.
Well, a friend to Lucien anyway.
Tamlin took note of how well you were able to spy, and turned you into his own personal Spymaster.
You didn't mind too much -- after a while, Tamlin warmed up to you. He also appreciated how you made Feyre feel more comfortable when she first arrived in the Spring Court.
As fate would have it, you and Feyre were a lot alike.
It didn't take long to see what was going on. She was planning to run.
Over the last few months, Tamlin grew more enraged, more angry at the world. You couldn't stay, you knew you had to get out.
And Cauldron be damned, Lucien was coming with you.
He wasn't happy about it at first, especially when the two Night Court warriors winnowed Feyre away and left the two of you to walk the rest of the way to the Night Court.
"Do you think he will change?" Lucien asks you, the cold wind ruffling his hair. You shiver against the wind.
"No," you say after a long moment. Lucien pulls you close to him, heat radiating from his body against the chill.
"I don't know if we could ever go back." He says. You sigh and bury closer to him, trying to keep in step with his long legs.
"I don't think he'd allow us back." You say. Tears prick the back of your eyes, but you blink to keep them at bay. Lucien changes the conversation, happier topic chosen this time. He is talking about all the delicious food the Night Court must have when you finally spot a motel in the distance.
"Our salvation!" Lucien gasps. He grabs you by the arm, pulling you with him as he breaks into a jog. You're panting trying to keep up, but you finally make it to the building.
"We're just about sold out." The stocky female behind the desk murmurs. Lucien sighs and runs a hand through his hair. You're standing behind him, and you place a delicate hand on his shoulder. He turns to you, gaze softening.
"Ma'am, we'll take whatever you have left." You say. She rummages through her drawers, presenting a single golden key on a long corded string.
"Floor 2. Last door on the right." She huffs. You anxiously take it from her, looping the string around your neck. The key dangles like a pendant on a necklace as you take Lucien's hand in yours and lead him upstairs.
Some salvation this is.
There's only one bed.
A blessing in disguise.
"Cauldron..." he sighs, slinging his bag to the floor. "I'll just, take the floor." He says, moving into the room. You furrow your brow.
"Lucien, do you think I've never had a sleepover before? We can share." You say. You rifle through your pack for extra clothes, and with a wave of his hand, the candles and fireplace are alight with warmth.
"Well... only if you're okay with that." He says. You nod, realizing then that you have no sleepwear. Lucien seems to realize the same thing as his hands come up empty.
"You can shower first, if you were wanting to." You offer kindly. The firelight is painting his features beautifully, and you force yourself to look away. But Gods, was it hard.
"Thanks!" With that, he was heading for the bathroom. You sighed, flopping down on the bed. You hadn't expected this level of comfort from a motel bed, but the soft silky blankets, the plush pillows...
You sighed a breath of contentment, fingers toying with the gold key laced around your neck.
You stripped down to your undergarments, as your clothes from the day were filthy. Folding them into a neat pile beside the bed, you slipped under the sheets, goosebumps erupting over your body as the blankets had not yet warmed.
Lucien finally came out of the bathroom, his eyes raking over your bare shoulders not concealed by the covers. He choked down a cough, and you kept your eyes closed as he slid into the bed next to you.
His bare arm brushed yours, and your eyes flew open. You readjusted to lay on your side, and so did he at the contact. However, now you were face to face.
"Are you... cold?" He asked. His sweet gaze held yours as his fingers timidly grazed your shoulder. Fresh goosebumps appeared, and you shivered.
"Yes." He frowned.
"Comere." His hand gripped your waist, fingers over your hip bone as he pulled you flush against him. You pretended not to notice the growing buldge pressing against you as his hand traced small patterns over your back.
"I can give you some of my body heat, if this is okay?" He asks, voice low and raspy. Maybe it was the way his lips were inches from yours, the small candelight illuminating his perfectly sculpted face...
Or maybe you had finally decided to be honest.
"It's more than okay." You said. Heat returned to your cheeks, and a small smile danced on his lips as his gaze flicked between your eyes and mouth.
He reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. His fingers lingered, trailing down your neck to the small key still looped around it. He toyed with it for a moment, before his lust-filled amber eyes met yours once more.
"I can give you more, if that would be okay too." He whispered. You shook again, this time the excited, anxious, energy rolling from you.
"It's more than okay."
Eris - "Who Did This To You?"
Reading was one of Eris' favorite pass times.
In fact, it was one thing he had in common with you.
The only thing, he swore.
One of many things, actually.
In fact, Eris was doing just that when he heard a commotion outside. Usually, it was his father. He'd learned not to get involved, but this time...
This was different.
His heartstrings tugged as he strained his ears, trying to listen beyond his windows for any indication of what was happening.
"Please... please..."
He snapped his novel shut, flying to his feet and racing outside. He wasn't sure what had come over him -- but he knew. He could feel it. You were here, and you needed him.
He'd thought over and over the last few years how you'd cry. How he would and could make you do it. Thought about killing you himself, once. Using his fire on you in ways he'd done only once before. You were acting like a lap dog, sitting with the Inner Circle at one of their meetings. Rhysand didn't let you talk, of course. You didn't even challenge him. You always let him walk all over you.
Maybe that's what pissed him off so badly.
You were packed full of good ideas, talents, advice; but you bowed to Rhysand, and that was that. You never spoke up for yourself.
You were worth so much more than that. You could offer so much more than you were allowed.
He tore through the hedge maze, snapping branches, feet thundering around every corner. His breathing was heavy, eyes searching in the night to find you.
"Please, Eris... someone..."
He followed your pained whimpering until he found you in the middle of the maze. You were slumped against the large water fountain, breathing unevenly as blood stained your neck, dried flakes throughout your usually vibrant tendrils. Your hands braced over your abdomen, tears creating tracks down your dirtied face.
"Oh my Gods..." He rushed to you, and you looked at him in desperation. His heart broke in two, seeing you crumpled and hurt in front of him.
His sadness turned very quickly, to anger. He felt... violent.
He ran his hands over your face, seeing blood pouring from your lip, and he reached up to move some hair from your forehead -- a huge gash the cause for the ever growing pool you sat in. Well, one of the causes. He was fuming, hands trembling as he tried to stay gentle with you, but absolute rage filled his every vein at how this could have happened to you.
Who could've let this happen to you.
"Eris, I..." you coughed, more crimson drops landing on the stone pathway below. "I... I didn't mean to... this is the first place I thought of..." another loud sob wretched from you, and Eris cupped your cheek. His whiskey eyes were dulled to a deep bourbon, his jaw clenched.
"Come with me."
He scooped you up, carrying you as carefully as he could back to his wing of the Forest House. You let out small yelps, the searing pain in your stomach too much to handle.
"Please, stay with me Y/N," he pleaded, looking down at you sorrowfully. He felt as though he was carrying a small, injured deer -- that is what you were. A gentle, wise, doe. His gentle doe.
He finally made it inside, sitting you on the sofa in front of the fireplace as he ran to the washroom and returned quickly. He presented a small wet cloth, taking your chin in his fingers and beginning to wipe away the red stains over your delicate skin. He tried so hard to stay gentle with you, trying to replicate the softness you'd always offerred others.
But, that's one thing you didn't have in common. He wasn't soft, or sweet like you. He tried to steady his breathing, gazing into your round, watery eyes instead. It only caused him more pain, seeing you like that. His head dropped, and he raked a hand through his hair.
"Put this in here," he grabbed a clean cloth, folding it and raising it to your mouth. You opened, usually defiant towards your enemy, but, really... you'd do anything he asked. He placed it between your teeth, and his hands covered your bloody ones, still clutching your stomach.
"Y/N... you have to move your hands." He says. Your eyes screw shut as you groan, removing your hands shakily. He breathes a sharp gasp, shaking his head.
"Hold onto me." He says. You look to him in confusion, and he places your stained fingers on his shoulders. One of his hands lingers on your for a moment, and he pressed the inside of your wrist to his lips. He looks back to you, eyes already asking for forgiveness.
"I'll be honest, I've thought about hurting you before as you've hurt me," he says, voice deep with ... something. Something you couldn't place. You could barely focus as your mind started to fog, vision clouding with black spots. "...but never like this."
He sighs one last time, a hand coming into view, fingers ablaze with fire. You sit up, or try to anyway -- a sob racks your chest, muffled by the cloth, and Eris holds you down, hand splayed over your sternum.
"Hold onto me." He says again. His hand meets your bubbling would, fire searing the skin as a scream tears through your already dry, cracked throat, only quieted by the cloth you’re biting down on. Your eyes blow wide, and you squirm under his hold. He looks at you with regret, pulling back for a moment only to press heat onto your would again.
Your hands rip and claw at the collar of his shirt, red already smeared over most of it. He huffs an apologetic sigh, continuing to carterize your open would.
Over. Over. Over again.
You lean back, knowing the familiar weightless feeling. You were going to black out. His once-white collar slips from your fingers, and your eyes meet his one last time before you slink into darkness.
When you come to, you're wrapped cozily in silken sheets, a pair of fleece pants covering your legs. Soft sunlight streams in through... a window. You blink, widening your eyes and looking around. The mahogony sheets were an unusual replacement to your lilac ones, and the four poster wooden bed was a change as well. Your eyes caught on a bookshelf, one with many titles like yours, at least. One book sat on the window seat, basked in sunlight. It was a title you'd already read.
You were in Eris' room.
You lean to sit up, but cry out in pain and lay back down, head flopping against the plush pillows under your head. Your hands instinctively reach toward your stomach, tugging at the hem of the tank top you bore. A bandage was wrapped around your midsection, concealing any injury. Your mind went to last night, what you'd endured, winnowing to the Autumn Court, the burning...
In moments, Eris is passing through the doorway, concern threading his brows together as he looks you up and down.
"Is everything alright?" He steps to the bed, sitting on the edge of it. He pulls the covers up, tucking them around you in comfort. You shake your head, silver lining your eyes as they meet his.
"I... they took me last night." You manage to get out. Eris readjusts to face you, a hand stroking through your hair. He bites on his lower lip, eyes searching yours.
"Who. Who took you Y/N." He says. It sounds like more of a demand than a question.
You shake your head, a tear slipping free as you remember being kidnapped from your bed, and tossed onto the mountainside. The feeling of snow under your knees, rocks in your palms only the beginning of the pain you'd endure before somehow winnowing away.
"It was... they wanted me to partake in the..." you stifle another cry. Eris brushes his thumb against your cheek.
"The fucking Blood Rite." He bites out. Anger radiates off of him, the small fire in the fireplace near the window growing with each passing second.
Again, he asked, eyes boring into yours. "Y/N, who did this to you?"
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acourtofthought · 23 hours
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You say you "know the timeline" yet you mention that SJM no longer spoke about ships after she signed on for the spin-off books.
Which was after ACOMAF, and as she was finishing up ACOWAR.
Elriel and Vassien were only introduced in ACOWAR.
So, please tell us: when was SJM supposed to talk about Elriel and Vassien, when - as you yourself stated - Sarah “went quiet on things because Bloomsbury wanted her future books to remain a mystery.”
If Sarah wasn’t able to talk about Elucien post-ACOWAR, then when they hell is she supposed to talk about Elriel and Vassien (who again, were only introduced in ACOWAR)?
The point is: all of the Elucien “evidence” is contained to 2016. Mere months after ACOMAF.
Yet the narrative shifts in ACOWAR. Moriel is squashed, and Elriel and Vassien begin.
As such, your screenshots of “Elucien proof” never this into account. Context matters.
Actually she got signed for the spin offs while editing ACOMAF, it's clearly stated in her Live Talks LA with Eva Cheng.
In my last post I said she no longer spoke of ships once Bloomsbury put her on lockdown so they could cash in on the drama surrounding the next book after Nesta's. She admitted as much in an interview with Steph, that if fans are excited they'll want to make it a thing. If I said in a previous post she stopped talking about ships after signing for the spin offs (since she did talk about Elucien after that but before ACOWAR was published) than I apologize for the error but that doesn't mean I haven't figured it out since or other Elucien's haven't already known.
My point was more in regards to the fact that no Elucien is confused about her Elucien mentions not being recent, they include the image which HAS THE DATE ON IT. Almost all are aware of exactly what year those interviews were done yet you're phrasing it as if we think they happened recently. Nobody claimed she spoke of Elucien after ACOWAR and just because Lucien went after Vassa because he believed in Elain's vision, it doesn't mean the Vassien ship was introduced by the author in ACOWAR 😂. He literally looked at Elain with longing and went off on a suicide mission for her, met her father, and ran to her side (bloody and panting) after the war. It's confirmed SHE'S HIS FRIEND in the next book. Male characters are allowed to have female characters as friends without wanting a relationship with them.
Then continued looking at Elain with longing in SF while paying no attention to Vassa when she looked to Lucien to break up her argument with Jurian. 😂 So ship like!
Context does matter and there's zero of it for Vassien when she and Jurian share the same vision, not she and Lucien.
Also:
ACOMAF
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Come now, you can't honestly be trying to tell me e/riel was only introduced in ACOWAR, completely tearing down the entire 4 books of buildup argument your fellow e/riels have been using for years now because it suddenly becomes important to this newest post that e/riel only has "3 books of buildup!"
According to elriels, elriel WAS introduced in ACOMAF yet it was Elucien she spoke of after its release.
And the evidence of SJM saying there was someone special for Lucien on Twitter was said in 2015, prior to the release of ACOMAF which was April 2016.
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It's weird how the context supports Elucien being mates, where she personally supplied where they'd vacation together and how they're both happiest in nature yet she supposedly knocked that all down in the very next book. So strange how in one of those same interviews she spoke about Nessian but lo and behold they are still together!
You guys keep trying, I'll give you credit. A+ for perseverance but D - for execution.
Still waiting for that evidence of when the author has ever talked about elriel or Vassien in interviews!
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(Request) I Bet You Were the Best Brother
It's been a while since I posted a oneshot, so I hope this 5k one manages to make up for that.
As I've mentioned before, been going through a bit of a writer's block that is finally going away. Some it still lingers, but it is infinitely better. Feels like I can breathe again. So, everyone reading this that struggles with writer's block at the moment--know that it will go away. You will be able to write again. It's not a matter of if, only when. You will be able to write again.
Anyway, I don't have any other major life updates for you, so I guess I'll let you start reading now. Happy reading! Let me know what you thought!!
Fandom: Undertale/UTMV
Characters: Dream and Nightmare (Who belong to Joku)
Warnings: A character losing their memory and swearing and I think that’s it. Let me know!
Summary: Ilike_cringe (Fri 14 Oct 2022): "here is a request :>. Could you make it that nightmare might have hit dream tooo hard in a fight that (bear with me ) Dream lost his memory ( if you could could you add more spice \^o^/)"
Word Count: 5395
~oOo~
Nightmare wanted there to be a note that the fight started off normal.
His gang showed up, causing some ruckus. He hung out in the background observing, soaking in the new misery like a sponge, keeping an eye out for the tell-tale sign that the Star Sanses had shown up. In today’s case, that ended up being an arrow flying at one of his boys, which barely got dodged, the blue glow disappearing as it left eyesight. Grinning, he had taken it as his cue to join in, grabbing Dream by the ankles as he notched another one, and throwing him across the space.
Not too hard, of course. He didn’t want his brother out of commission quite yet. That was always the fun part about the fight, seeing him defeated. It needs to be drawn out a bit, though, for it to be really satisfying.
Dream recovered from the toss quickly, though he was soaked head to toe—he had unintentionally tossed him into the river. Whoops. The annoyed look on his brother’s face made his grin widen even more. They quickly fell into their routine after that, trading blows and insults, slowly moving away from the others. Another toss had them entering the woods, which resulted in a lot of fallen trees, a clear indicator of where they’d gone.
A cliff came into view, with Dream’s back to it. Nightmare didn’t take much note of it at the time, too preoccupied—his brother had just gotten a pretty bad hit to the back of his skull, making him stumble. Pausing for a minute, he gave him some time to get his bearings back before attacking again, pushing him closer to the cliff edge.
So…technically, this whole thing could be considered his fault, but how was he supposed to know what would happen?
The cliff seemed perfectly safe in the normal dangerous way!
This means the fight was going great until the cliff crumbled under Dream’s feet, making him shriek, eyes widening, his bow dispersing as he pinwheeled backward. Nightmare froze, staring at the now absent spot with eyes equally as wide, tentacles raised to strike.
Then it went silent.
 “…shit,” he hissed, automatically turning around in case his brother teleported at the last second to safety. It wouldn’t be the first time, so it shouldn’t be the last time.
No one was there.
He waited.
Still no one.
Maybe Dream was just in shock, still picking himself up. Turning back, Nightmare stepped closer to the cliff, small rocks tumbling after the larger ones from his movements. If he leaned over, he could probably tell…ah, no. Nope, that was just a bunch of trees. His brother was probably under those trees. Probably just picking himself up.
He’ll return in no time.
Nightmare just had to wait.
So, he did.
For one minute. Then two. Then…honestly, he lost track of the minutes after that, glancing back and forth around the clearing, looking over his shoulder at the cliff like Dream would just suddenly appear, having climbed up for some stupid reason. Any minute now, the fight will be back on, continuing as usual…any minute now…
…any minute…
…any—
Okay, so.
Something was wrong.
Turning back to the cliff, he glared at the edge. It was its fault this was happening. Why did it decide to crumble now? Particularly when Dream was on it? Why?
Now his brother was somewhere below, dazed as hell, without the clear thinking necessary to teleport, or injured badly enough to be unconscious—and as soon as that thought popped into existence, he shoved it away, then took time to quell the rising panic in his soul.
No, no, that’s not possible. Dream’s far more durable than that. Sure, it’s a cliff, and cliff’s cause damage, even to immortal beings, but still. His brother could heal, so shouldn’t that work on himself, make him more…invulnerable, or something? Unless…he couldn’t actually heal himself and he’s just been assuming that he could this entire time…no, that couldn’t be possible. Nightmare’s pretty sure he’d remember that if it were the case.
So…what happened?
Maybe…maybe Dream was just staying down there for a while.
He’ll probably join again in a bit.
Yeah, that’s probably it. So, he should really go back and help his boys. Hey, maybe Dream’s already there! Maybe he went to his friends instead. Makes sense, makes sense…
He should go help his boys now, he’s been standing here too long.
And…he wasn’t moving.
Why wasn’t he moving?
Dream’s fine. He’s back at the main fight. It’s something that’s happened before. It should be something that happened here. It’s fine. He can go back. So…what kept him here, staring around like his brother would magically appear, a tight feeling in his chest that threatened to steal the air away from his non-existent lungs?
Maybe…maybe he should just go down there, check on Dream—
That was another thought pushed away. No, hell no. If he gave in to that though, if he went down there to check, now, after too much time has already passed for that to be considered just moving the fight along, that’d be…that’s cause his brother to hope. Hope that things could go back to the way things were before the apples. He can’t go through the painstaking steps needed to crush that hope, put off the last stubborn spark that remained until he was sure it wouldn’t create another flame. Not again.
Besides, he didn’t even care. Not that much. Sure, yeah, he cared somewhat, always would—that’s just naturally part of being a brother. But the majority of how much he cared was in the past, before everything was plucked off a tree in the form of a black apple and devoured. That care no longer exists, taken over by the need to win all these fights, making the scales tip in his direction.
It just…didn’t exist. He didn’t care.
(Some days, it was harder to convince himself of this fact than others.
This was one of them.)
He didn’t care, so he should so rejoin his boys, and get out of this AU.
This time, he teleported.
It was an easy win. Dream never came back.
When it came time to go home, Nightmare couldn’t stop his gaze from wandering away from his boys, who were celebrating as usual, over to the trees. In the direction of the cliff, even if he couldn’t see it from here.
The tight feeling in his chest squeezed and squeezed. His tentacles flicked nervously behind him. For some reason, he kept thinking that now was the moment his brother would appear, now was the moment he could stop all this silly, stupid worry, go back to being angry. And the longer he looked, the more that thought wavered and shook, gathering speed as it transformed into a tornado that threatened to consume all of his other priorities until he made sure Dream was okay. But the only way to do that was to go and check, and leaving now would just make the boys confused and worried, which he could not handle right now.
Besides, he was sure it was fine.
He got them all home before he could convince himself otherwise, before the urge to make sure was too overpowering. To make sure he was really distracted, he holed himself up in his office, pulling out some paperwork—which wasn’t even real paperwork, just a bunch of sudoku and word searches and other puzzles printed out to make it look like he was working on important stuff.
For the most part, it worked. Kept his mind too busy to think about what happened.
Then he got to one particular word search that—and he is not joking or exaggerating this part—had three words at the bottom for him to find, all in a row, that read: ‘Dream’, ‘injury’, and ‘concussion’. Isn’t that just the strangest collection of words you’ve ever seen? The surreal coincidence of the words made Nightmare stare down at the page for a minute, completely gobsmacked. Who the hell was writing these word searches, and why the fuck did they include these three specific words on the same one?
It was like a sign or something…
Sneering, Nightmare tore the word search up into tiny pieces, sitting back in his chair, spinning around and around. Trying very hard not to think about the three words. And how his brother never came back. And how the yelp he let out when he fell just fell silent and how he never bothered to check and—
And now he was thinking about it.
“Fuck.”
Growling to himself, he stopped spinning in his chair. Then, he promptly stood and teleported back to the AU.
Leaning over the cliff again, he teleported down. His brother wasn’t anywhere in the immediate proximity—though, why would he be? This was all just a waste of time—so he started walking around, ducking under some tree branches. When he fell, Dream would’ve had to have landed somewhere around here…though he still wasn’t sure why he was searching.
His brother was probably gone by now. His friends probably came to collect him.
Why did he think he’d find him here, lying on the ground as if nothing happened? As if he just decided to take an impromptu nap, in the snow and in wet clothes and…
Oh. Oh, shit.
That was actually Dream lying there in front of him.
Fuck.
Almost tripping over himself, Nightmare hurried over, falling to his knees beside his brother. His hands hovered in the air around him, unsure what to do. “Dream?” he called, hoping to wake him up. Nothing happened.
Dream didn’t move.
For a soul-stopping moment, Nightmare actually thought he might be dead. Panic swirled in his chest, choking him, until he remembered that if they were dead, their body would turn to dust. Presumably, anyway, since they had no real way of knowing that until they…y’know…actually died, but still. The thought allowed him to gather himself enough to Check his brother, make sure of it. It said he was fine, if missing a chunk of health.
Nightmare breathed out, hating how shaky it was. “Idiot, making me worry for nothing…” he muttered to himself, looking down at his brother, frowning. Shaking his shoulder, he raised his voice a bit, eager to wake him up, make sure he left to wherever, hopefully back to his friends, and get home himself before his boys wondered where he went off to. “Dream. Wake up.”
No response. Dream was still. Breathing—he double-checked, just to be sure—but still.
Frowning, he shook him again, rougher. Still nothing.
Even unconscious, his brother insisted on being annoying. Scowling, he sat back on his heels. “If you don’t wake up, I’m going to kick you.”
Nothing.
Welp. His hand was forced.
Standing, Nightmare kicked Dream in the side—not too hard, of course, he’s not a complete monster. Just enough that he woke up.
Which he did.
Finally.
Nightmare rolled his eye to himself, crossing his arms as he watched his brother groan, coming to. A hand half-raised to his head before stopping, eyes blinking open and squinting against the light. His eyelights were paler than normal, just a hair bigger, too. He could see the exact moment they focused in, his brother clocking that there’s someone standing above him, but Dream didn’t panic, didn’t seem to be anything more than confused.
Dream blinked again. “Hi.”
Nightmare raised a brow bone. Seriously? That’s it? He fought the urge to roll his eye again. “What are you still doing here?”
His brother seemed to get more confused. “What?”
Wondering if the fall knocked loose some brain cells, Nightmare scowled. “What do you mean, ‘what’? You know what. What are you still doing here? This is, like, the most uncomfortable spot to have a nap.” Without waiting for him to answer, he continued, waving a hand around. He couldn’t let the opportunity to mock him go by. “And why didn’t you rejoin the fight? I thought you had a duty to protect the positivity in the multiverse.”
“Um…” Dream blinked for a third time, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. He laughed, nervously, like a reflex, and when he opened his eyes again, they were fuzzy again. “Sorry, you went a bit fast for me there. Could you repeat that?”
Ugh. Now he was just being difficult.
“You’re so annoying.” Nightmare said, stepping away. “Just get up and get out of here.”
Looking up at him, the words seemed to take a few minutes to sink in. Then, nodding, Dream tried to stand, movements jerky, as if he was figuring out how to move them for the first time again. When he stood, he wobbled, tilting over a bit before righting himself.
Nightmare realized he had stepped forward, ready to catch him should he fall, and retreated, tucking his hands back into his arms.
Damnit. He was slipping. He had to get out here, fast.
“I’m alright.” Dream said, clearly noticing his misstep. He was smiling. Nightmare had to look away before the sight made him feel warm inside. “Just a bit dizzy.”
“Whatever,” Nightmare said in return, leaving it at that.
Still smiling, his brother shifted on his feet, looking down at his hands and clenching them into fists a couple of times. His gaze wandered back up to him, and then away, looking around them with a curious, still confused, look. It was almost like he was trying to figure out where he was, as if he wasn’t just in a fight here earlier.
He couldn’t have forgotten that fast, could he? And what was he still doing here?
Shouldn’t he be opening a portal by now?
“What are you waiting for?”
Snapping back to look at him, Dream didn’t seem to understand the question. “Huh?”
Waving a hand again, tentacles flicking behind him, Nightmare’s scowl deepened. Why the fuck was he acting so weird? “Open a portal already and go home. Your friends are probably worried sick by now.”
(He ignored the voice in his head that said he was starting to get worried, too.)
“Right, right.” Dream nodded, trying and failing to look like he knew what he was talking about. “A portal…see, um, I would do that…but, uh…” Looking around again, shifting some more, his smile turned sheepish. “Well, I don’t remember, exactly, how to do that.”
Nightmare did not return the smile, unamused. He just stared.
What the fuck? What was he playing at? What was the point in drawing all this out? Nostalgia? What did he get out of acting so weird? What was going on here?
“Do you think this is a fucking game?” Nightmare asked, voice slipping off into a growl. His tentacles moved restlessly. He was getting agitated now. He just wanted to go home, get back to his puzzles, and maybe sleep for a week. But no, he was here, playing along with this stupidness, unable to get a grasp on what was happening.
Dream looked alarmed, holding his hands up and shaking them furiously. “No! No—”
“Then why the fuck are you wasting my time? I come out here, in the middle of the evening, to make sure you’re good, and you decide to, what, pull a joke on me?” Unable to curb his irritation, he shook his head, rubbing a hand down his face. “Stars, I hate you. I’m reminded now why I don’t bother doing this for you. You never take it seriously.” Turning he started to walk away, hearing Dream stutter excuses behind him.
He didn’t want to hear any excuses. He was done. He was going home.
“It’s not—I’m not joking,” Dream called after him, footsteps crunching on the snow as he chased after him.
“Of course, you are!” Nightmare sighed, in annoyance or anger or both of them combined. He didn’t care anymore. “You always are!” He didn’t bother stopping or turning around. Just continued on. And then he remembered he didn’t have to walk away at all, could just make a portal out. Turning his annoyance to himself, he raised a hand to do so—
“I don’t remember that.”
—and stopped.
The statement struck the right chord, making something inside him fall to the pit of his stomach, pricking him uncomfortably. Slowly, he turned to face Dream again, paying more attention. “…what?”
“I—I don’t remember that,” Dream said, tone so genuine, eyes so wide and confused and even scared that it seemed to create a physical attack on his soul. Raising a hand, his brother held it to his head. “I thought if I waited a bit, I might remember something, but I don’t. It’s all just…blank. I don’t know anything you’re talking about, like the fight or my friends. I place any faces to them or names or anything.” He let his hand fall, shaking his head as he turned his gaze down to his feet, speaking softly. “I just don’t remember.”
The words pushed Nightmare out of the present, sending him spiraling into the black hole opening in his ribs, right where his soul is. They pressed in on him, reverberating, turning into a high pitch that buzzed inside him, threatening to cut off his breath.
He didn’t want to believe the words. In fact, he was trying his absolute best not to. Excuses flew through, nitpicking through the explanation and finding words that betrayed the real truth. He told himself over and over that no matter what, no matter how injured he got, Dream would never allow this to happen. His brother would hold onto himself with an iron grip, too desperate to let go, and the Multiverse would allow him to hold on because it was just another being that favored him. They would not let their favorite Guardian lose his precious memories, not for all the stories it brought them.
No, it just wasn’t possible. He was lying—though the reason why was unclear, and nothing could really justify it, he had to be lying. It was a trick, a ploy, maybe even a trap. Yes, that’s it. Any minute now, the other Star Sanses would jump out, pull their weapons, and Dream would drop this façade and go back to pleading with him and when it didn’t work, when Nightmare lashed out in anger, he would pull out his bow and—and—
It just---it had to be a trick.
It had to.
It…
His eyes didn’t look like he was lying, though.
No matter how long he searched, how close he looked, it was a blank sheet of gold. He found confusion, yes, he found anxiety—nothing new there—but he did not find any recognition. Hope and helplessness, but no relief in having someone he knew find him. Even now, as his brother looked around the clearing, he only saw curiosity, as if he hadn’t seen this place before, as if he had just arrived, as if he had just woken up and was in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar faces. The eyes came back to his, smiled at him, and—
And they were still blank.
A ghost.
The black hole in his ribs widened, pulling him in faster. Digging his heels in, he resisted with everything he had, swimming back out. He had to confirm this, he told himself, had to make sure this was the truth. If there was any chance he did remember, whether that be his friends or his title or Night—
Well, Nightmare just had to find it. He had to.
He heard himself speak before he was fully back in his body. “Did you hit your skull?”
“Ah, maybe?” Dream tilted his head, reaching around to the base of it before retracting quickly, wincing. “Yes. Yeah, I did.”
“Turn around.”
Obedient, Dream did, and Nightmare stepped closer, observing the crack. It wasn’t as bad as he was expecting—certainly not as big—but it was still enough to make bile climb up the back of his throat. Swallowing it down, he darted his gaze around it, taking in the gaping black hole, about the size of a cherry, thinner cracks webbing out from around it. It had blood crusted on the edges, and he was sure that if he took the time to look around the cliff, he’d find matching spots.
Absently reaching out, he traced along the wound with his fingers. Stars, how he wished he knew how to heal. This would be so much easier.
Dream pulled away after his fingers made contact, and he let his hand fall as he turned back, already apologizing. “Sorry! Sorry, that just…really hurt.” He laughed again, but it petered out as he caught sight of Nightmare’s face. “Oh…that bad of a sight, huh?”
“You said…” Nightmare swallowed again, ignoring those words. “You said you don’t remember anything?” The feeling in the pit of his stomach clenched.
“No.” Oblivious, Dream shook his head. “The latest memory I have is of you standing over me. Before that…” Tilting his head again, his brother thought about it, ultimately coming up with nothing. No spark in his eyes. “Nothing.” He looked regretful, like he wished he could be of more help. “Sorry.”
There he went again, apologizing.
Nightmare was going to have to have a talk with him about that. He can’t keep saying sorry for things that he didn’t need to say sorry for in the first place.
First, however, was dealing with—this.
“So…�� He didn’t want to ask the next question. It burned in his throat, made his tongue curl in preparation, the words too ugly to even think about. Why did it need to be said? He already knew the answer to it. Why did he insist on asking it when he knew what was going to be said? He would rather them stand like this forever than ask it.
That was a risk, though. And he would really like to get some sleep tonight—even if that might be impossible the longer this sank in. They should really wrap this up soon.
That meant asking uncomfortable questions.
Swallowing himself down, Nightmare let the question go. It couldn’t hurt to ask, anyway. “You don’t remember me?” The words lingered in the air, an odd hint of emotion to them, something fragile and vulnerable.
(He knew the answer to why he wanted to ask this.
Somehow, somewhere inside him, there was still a need that maybe something would be remembered. If the longer they talked, the greater the chance the memories would just snap back into place. That the hollow feeling of having someone you grew up with look at you like one would a stranger would disappear, replaced by joy or anger or tears, anything else.
Inside, if nothing else, he needed there to be a chance he’d be remembered.)
It felt like hope.
“No.” Dream answered, the shaking of his head feeling like salt poured into open wounds. He seemed disappointed in himself, upset he couldn’t help. For him, this was failing at giving someone what they wanted.
For Nightmare, this was confirmation.
(It felt like denial.)
(There was a stinging in his chest. Where did it come from?)
“Where you someone important?”
Nightmare automatically bristled. “I—” He stopped himself, glaring down at the ground while clenching his jaw.
His instinct was to say that, of course he was. He was Dream’s brother. They grew up together. They were, still are, two halves of the same coin, two halves to the same balance. Despite everything, that had to mean something.
But that wasn’t the truth, was it?
Not anymore.
Maybe one time, before The Incident, before the villagers came to them. It was just the two of them, after all. And Mother, but she couldn’t really say much, or do anything beyond existing. Maybe then they were each other’s most important person. And maybe it would’ve stayed that way had everything not gone to shit.
But the point was, that was in the past.
Whatever they had, it was gone. In more ways than one now…
Inhaling, Nightmare looked away, shoving his hands into his pockets. “That…depends on your definition of important.”
They had other people in their lives now. He had his gang, his boys. Though he often complained about their foolishness and called them idiots, not once had he ever wished he hadn’t met them. Dream, he knew, felt much the same about Ink and Blue. Neither of them would trade their friends for the world.
Even for each other.
“I was—” Nightmare sighed, rolling back his shoulders. “I’m your brother. Nightmare.” He forced himself to look back at Dream, even if the eye contact burned his soul with something uncomfortable. “Your name is Dream, by the way. In case you forgot that, too.”
“Cool!” Dream paused and gasped, beaming as he made the connection. “Our names match!”
“Yeah.” Nightmare said, forcing himself to smile back. “Yeah, they do.” Of course they did, he thought to himself. That’s the reason why they chose the names.
Brow furrowing, Dream tilted his head. “Wait, if we’re brothers, wouldn’t I just live with you, then?”
“What?” Nightmare felt himself frown in return. “Why do you think we’d live together?”
Strange, considering Dream didn’t even remember him.
(There was that stinging again.)
“I-I don’t know, I just…I have this feeling that brothers should be living together. That they need to live together. I don’t know why, but it’s a very strong feeling.” Dream raised a hand to his chest, hovering over where his soul would be. “When I think about you, um, that feeling gets all…strange.”
This caught his attention. “Strange?”
“Yeah.” Nodding slowly, Dream worked through it, finding what to call it. “I think it…I think it turns jealous, somehow.”
Nightmare stared.
Jealous…?
That couldn’t be right. Dream had to be reading it wrong.
There was nothing to be jealous about. His brother always had the perfect life. What more could he want?
If anything, he should be the one jealous. He’s the only one who deserves to be jealous. Jealous of the way people were always drawn to his brother over himself, the way people thought everything of the sun and nothing of the moon, even though they both shared the same light. It was his right to be envious, his right to look upon the past and view it with bitterness. It was his right to look at the present, now, when Dream still has his friends and his standing and still has everyone revolving around him.
At least he can find relief, find arrogance, in the fact that he found his own friends, his own group of people who looked up to him. It took years, it took work, but he found them.
He didn’t need Dream anymore.
(So, what if sometimes he looked at his brother and his friends and felt a longing to join them?
So, what if he found the way they laughed, the way they treated each other, a reminder that he’s done too many things to be treated like that again?
So, what if he’s tired of fighting all the time and wants to go back to how things were, while knowing that could never happen, while looking across the battlefield into golden eyes that reflected the same kind of feelings and—and…oh.
Oh.
Oh, they would never escape being peas in a pod, would they?)
“Hey, you mentioned my friends, though.” Dream said, brightening up again, looking around like they might just pop up. Not that he would recognize them. “Maybe we could find them and they could help me get home. What do you think of that?”
Maybe, Nightmare thought, looking away as well. He couldn’t lie, it would be nice to leave this place, and dump the responsibility of an amnesiac onto someone else. Especially the Guardians of the Multiverse, the coveted Star Sanses.
But something twisting in his stomach stopped him from agreeing.
He thought, all too suddenly, about how he came back hours later to his brother still lying in relatively the same spot he fell. Meaning Ink and Blue never came back to look for him after they retreated. You’d think, for monsters that claimed to be his best friends, they’d be out here the minute the battle was over, bringing Dream back home to be checked on.
Why should he trust his brother with those two, when they didn’t even search for him? They probably don’t even know he’s missing. They certainly don’t know he’s injured. He can’t help but wonder what their reactions would’ve been to this memory loss.
Too bad he won’t find out.
“I think they’re busy, actually.” Nightmare decided, making a split decision that he hoped wasn’t wrong. “And going to be busy for the week yet.”
 “Oh…”
Dream looked disappointed. Hurt.
The look on his face only solidified Nightmare’s decision. His tentacles curled in satisfaction. “You can come home with me, though. Stay for a bit.”
“Really?” Starting to brighten yet again, Dream seemed to hesitate, searching to make sure he was telling the truth.
“Yeah.”
“Awesome.” Dream’s smile lit up the forest, and Nightmare turned himself away before he found himself getting soft because of it. Raising a hand to open the portal, he heard Dream chuckle behind him. “I gotta say, even though I don’t remember it, I bet you were the best brother ever.”
The words were said so confidently, so…normally…it made Nightmare freeze. The portal wobbled in front of him, but stayed open, and he blinked at it a couple of times before he turned back to his brother.
His mouth was dry, for a reason he couldn’t yet understand.
“What?”
“Well, I mean…it’s like you said. You came all this way, in the middle of the night, to check on me. You were worried. And then, when you found me, you stayed to wake me up, even though you technically already completed your goal. You didn’t just leave. And you checked my injury without me asking you to, and told me my name, and now you’re offering to let me stay at your place.”
Dream’s smile turned smaller, more vulnerable. “It just seems like a very nice thing to do.”
Nightmare’s gaze was frozen, locked onto that genuine, soft smile. The last sentence played on a loop, ringing inside his skull.
A very nice thing to do.
In any other situation, the suggestion would be laughable.
But like this…
(There was that stinging. Again. Why won’t it just go away?)
He thought back to the fight that happened earlier. How he reveled in the pain he caused, how much fun he had taunting his brother. How often he attacked him, without worry or caution. How eager he was to throw him around into trees, back him up into a cliff. He hadn’t even thought about what might happen, too giddy, too smug. All he wanted to do was put him in his place…he hadn’t even cared that he was bleeding…hadn’t even reached out to try and save him when the cliff crumbled…
How long had Dream laid there, in the snow, still in wet clothes?
What did he think as he watched Nightmare watch him fall?
How can that be called nice?
How can what happened during The Incident be called nice? What kind of brother turned his twin into stone, and left him in a dead AU all alone, knowing full well that he would one day return? What kind of brother picked an apple he was supposed to protect in the first place? What kind of brother was he?
Certainly not the kind this Dream was talking about…
“Right.” Nightmare said, the words tasting like ash in his mouth. He understood why this time. He wanted to throw up. “Thanks.”
Dream didn’t notice anything wrong. Still smiling away. As always. Always. “No problem!” Rocking back on his heels, he started to look around as his attention span waned with no portal to go through.
Still, Nightmare did not move to open it.
Instead, he found himself changing tracks. Jumping train from thinking about how bad of a brother he was, to how good of a brother Dream was.
Is.
Was.
Stars, this was so confusing…
“You weren’t that bad of a brother yourself.” Nightmare said, and this time the words were better tasting. At least this way, something true would be said here.
Dream looked back at him, surprised, with a spark of confusion. Then, even if he didn’t know everything Nightmare was talking about, he smiled, taking it as the compliment it was. “Aw, thanks.”
Nodding, Nightmare finally managed to open the portal, letting Dream go through first. He hesitated to follow, looking around the AU again. For some reason, he felt like he would still find his brother, memories and all, waiting for him if he looked hard enough. But he wouldn’t. He knew that.
At least, he had to accept that.
That stinging again…
Showing it down once again, Nightmare turned and went home.
(It’s only after Dream is settled into one of the guest bedrooms—stocked with fresh bedsheets and a fresh pair of clothes for the next day borrowed from Nightmare’s own closet—and he’s back in the safety of his office that he lets his composure finally break. Choking, he slides down his door, hand clasped over his mouth to keep as quiet as possible.
It’s only then that he lets himself cry.
Cry about how he never reached out to catch his brother when he first fell.
Cry about what his brother thought before splitting his skull on a rock.
Cry about the stranger left in his brother’s body.
Cry about everything.)
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Hi! I got your ask and I'll answer it soon <3 in the meantime, I was curious about
Ka-freaking-boom, baby | Pinning (against a wall) | Renegades
👀👀
The titles/descriptions are a net, and I am but a fish you caught with it
majinbangus 🥛🐟
Hiii! Tysm for the ask! 💕
For the WIP ask game.
Alright, here we gooo *rubbing hands with glee*
Ka-freaking-boom, baby
That line by Soap drove me insane, so I came up with a Reader feeling the same way lol. It's very short so I'll post it entirely here:
“Ka-freaking-boom, baby.”
The perfect mix of rasp and silk in his voice seemed to drain all the blood from your brain and send it rushing south. It was almost worse than having his fingers stroking every inch of your skin.
Before Soap had any chance to react, you dragged him away into the nearest dark alley and kissed him furiously.
A confused moan escaped him under your assault.
Once you’ve had your fill, you withdrew, glaring at him. He was panting, eyes wide, cheeks flushed, torn between bafflement and pleasure, and, a rare occurrence, at a loss for words.
“Fuck, what the fuck… was that!?” you yelled in a whisper. “Do I have to be a freaking bomb for you to talk to me like that!?”
His eyes widened even more before understanding spread across his face. A chuckle left his lips.
“Jealous o’ an explosive, hen? Yer too cute.”
Not in the mood to play around, you grabbed his flak jacket to pull him where you wanted and, lips pressed against his ear, you described all the unspeakable acts you would do to him if he used that voice back at the base.
He let out an agonized sound at that, as if you were torturing him.
“Steamin' Jesus…”
He covered the hand that was holding him in place and took a deep inhale, most likely to keep it together.
“Bonnie, love ye, but the mission…”
You aggressively shoved your index in his sternum, looking him in the eye.
“You're making it up to me later, you hear me?”
His head was swaying with the contrast between your filthy promises and your harsh gestures, but he straightened up, recognizing an order when he heard one.
“Yes Ma'am.”
Pining (against a wall)
I read a fic where in one chapter, Soap and Reader hide from enemies with Reader stuck between the wall and Soap, and our beloved sergeant gets...hum... affected by their proximity lol. So I wanted to do a version where Soap is the one pinned between Reader and the wall. It's also the same vibe as The powder and the fuse, aka Soap sees his gf in action being very badass and finds it hot. It's smut tbh, with their clothes on tho.
WIP:
"At the sight of your enemies getting closer to your location, your bodyguard training takes over. Before you can even think about it, you grab Soap by his flak jacket, drag him into a dark alley and end up half-pining, half-slamming him against the nearest wall without warning, shoving your hand over his mouth for good measure. It's a professional reflex you'll have to apologize for later.
That, and if there's one thing he's never been good at, it's keeping it shut.
Not that he ever gave you a reason to call his skills into question, always proving himself serious and reliable on the job, but missions with only the two of you together are few and far between, and he certainly never stops running his mouth over comms during them.
Wholly focused on your opponents’ behavior, head turned away from him, on the lookout, the hand on his mouth keeping him against the wall, the other by his head, caging him in, you don't pay attention to your newfound proximity. How your faces are barely a centimeter away from each other, how his warm breath strokes your skin with each respiration. You don't notice either how much you’re pressed against his body, how your chests are touching, the contact exacerbated by each inhale, or that one of your legs is nudged between his.
Or the way his cerulean eyes are devouring you, drinking in your every move."
Renegades
It's a retelling of MW2 with Shadow!Reader, from the mission Alone until Graves die. Lots of action.
Reader kills her own coworkers when they go after civilians and deserts the Shadow company. She comes to the rescue of an injured Soap in the hopes that she can ally with the TF to take down Graves.
It's called renegadeS because It's not only about Reader's treason, but also because the TF is considered treators thanks to Shepherd, and that Reader consider that Graves betrayed her for sending her after civilians when she stated from the start she wouldn’t go after unarmed ppl/civilians.
Something about having to betray either your community/organization/group, or your own moral code, but doomed to be a traitor all the same…
WIP:
"Joining the Shadow Company had never been your first choice. Military organizations tended to be bad news, and private ones were even worse. However fate forced your hand. Or, more exactly, capitalism did.
The pay offered by the Private Military Company exceeded your wildest dreams. You've made more in a week than in one year of your regular job as a bodyguard. And you were in desperate need of money; a lot, and fast; it was the only way to afford your sister's cancer treatment.
Things weren't so bad at the start. The commander was a bigmouth, but he was sensible, and he got the job done. At some point, the corporation allied with a special task force, an international group of elite combatants, some sort of legendary military unit. You hadn't paid them much attention, since they weren't the enemy.
Until they were.
Somehow the General that commanded both those guys and the Shadow Company decided to betray his own men, turning them into traitors. At the same time, your orders brutally changed. You were expected to turn the whole town upside down to pinpoint the ex-Special Forces, and if civilians happened to be in the way, well… there was no one to hold you responsible if you put a bullet in them.
You didn’t care about the Task Force. Sucked to be them, but surely they could handle themselves.
However, the moment your coworkers started to execute unarmed civilians right in front of you, you snapped.
The latters’ screams for mercy still resonate in your ears. The racket caused by the bullets you sent through your former companions in arms hadn't been enough to make you forget their bloodcurdling yells. 
You hadn't even had time to ponder your actions. Your body acted on its own. You slaughtered them without batting an eye. They probably didn’t even understand what happened to them, not expecting your betrayal. You didn’t regret it.
You hid the bodies to the best of your abilities, and slipped away.
Now here you are, lost in Las Almas, a small city in Mexico, operating in the blind. Between the dark of the night and the rain, your vision is execrable. You have little time before your ex-colleagues’ death and your disappearance get noticed. The clock is ticking, and you can see only two options presenting themselves to you: fight or flight.
You eventually stumble upon a squad of Shadows. You've been monitoring the comms, and your treason hasn’t been noticed yet. 
So, in a rush of insane hope, you do the unthinkable and reveal yourself to them.
Maybe, just maybe, not all Shadows are bloodthirsty mercenaries who shoot innocents at the first opportunity. Maybe they can be reasoned with. Maybe you don't need to fight alone. Maybe…
You salute them as you approach, acting with as much natural as you can muster.
One throws one look at you and turns away. The other two stare with curiosity.
“Whattya doing here? This isn’t your area.”
You play dumb. Easy to perform when your interlocutor is already looking down  on you. The only perk of being a woman in this field of work is idiots underestimating you.
“Lost my way. The others left me behind. Mind if I join?”
You make your tone as silly and harmless as possible, turning your voice higher pitched than normal. It works like a charm.
You put up with their mockeries that sound a lot like insults and other jeers, keeping a naive smile on your lips.
Following on their heels, it's easy to fall back into the routine that's been yours for the past few weeks, since you became a shadow. But that illusion of normality shatters the moment you come across inhabitants.
“They don't know shit,” grumbles one of the shadows, after barking orders at the civilians only leads to desperate pleas for mercy in spanish. “Might as well get rid of them.”
You stare at him with incredulity, your bewildered expression hidden by your balaclava. How could someone be so callous with human life was beyond you. Yes, you were killers for hire, but between fighting seasoned soldiers on a battlefield and slaughtering unarmed families in their own home, there was a world of difference.
“Sure,” shruggs another.
The third one doesn't even bother answering, already taking aim with his rifle.
You feel trapped in a horror movie, an alternative reality.
“That's not necessary,” you step in, loud enough to be clearly heard, but still attempting to not sound too authoritarian. “Killing them isn’t gonna give us any answer.”
“Who cares?” snarls the first one at you, irritated by your intervention. “We get a bonus for each target, it's all that matters.”
“But they're not targets,” you hiss, getting riled up despite yourself. “Is that what your morals are worth? A bunch of zeroes?”
“For the love of… knew admitting women was a bad idea. You’re too soft-hearted for this job. So either shut the fuck up, or-”
He never gets the chance to finish his sentence, as the bullet you fire lodges itself between his eyebrows.
As the other two squad members let out expletives in shock, you’re already shooting again. The one who was aiming his rifle at the denizens drops dead just as he gets you into his sights. The last one scrapes your side with his handgun before you make him join his teammates.
Panting, you lower your weapon and kick at one of the corpses in rage.
“Fuck! Why did you have to be such a rotten piece of shit!”
From the corner of your eye, you notice the group of civilians nearby shaking with fear, glancing at you with horror and uncomprehension. You sigh and tell them to leave, unable to look them in the eye, ashamed.
Once left to your own devices, you let your fury and your frustration explode.
“Shit, shit, shit! Never should have taken this fucking job!”
Overwhelmed, you crouch, covering your face with your hands, and swear some more.
“Why'd ye do that?”
The hoarse, foreign, barely audible voice coming out of nowhere makes you jump. You point your handgun in multiple directions, in vain.
“What the…?”
You cautiously inspect your surrondings, on your guard, ready to open fire at the first sight of an enemy. Eventually you find the owner of the voice, inside a nearby building, slumped against a crumbled brick wall, and immediately take aim at him. 
“Hey there.”
The salute may be casual, but his body language shows nothing but extreme vigilance and sharp suspicion, his own handgun pointed at you. The tone of his voice isn’t exactly warm either.
At the first provokation, he will swiftly end your life without any qualms.
Your eyes roam over him and, as you take in his bare face, the soaking wet blue t-shirt adhering to his skin, and jeans, you realize you're not dealing with one of Graves’ guys. The british flag displayed on his bulletproof vest silently answers your interrogations.
“You're one of those brits,” you sigh in relief.
Well, half-relief. You may not consider them your enemies anymore, but unfortunately, that doesn't mean the opposite is true.
He scoffs at your remark, apparently mildly offended.
“Scottish.”
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blacklegsanjiii · 11 hours
Note
Can you imagine if the Vinsmokes gained their emotions back when Sanji saves their lives at WCI, but it kinda hits them all at once, so they become massively attached to Sanji.
21+ years of familial love for their brother smacks them in the face, only for them to find out Sanji has REALLY over protective boyfriends in ASL who monopolize Sanji all the time (this can be the gods au or just regular ASL+S)
Gods can you imagine the guilt? Not only just all that love but the guilt, shame, embarrassment, and horror at what they've done. Reiju just watching them and Ichiji asking her why she never stopped them, how often she helped Sanji after what they did? He needs to know and the answers 'i didn't want the attention ' and 'not enough' rip through his chest like niji's lightning.
Sanji's gone, with his crew and they've only just escaped Big Mom's pirates and her prison and everything so they're not exactly primed for the real world. But without Germa and being free means they need to find their own way. So uhh, they guess first things they'll go find Zeff and thank him? And they do. Zeff and everyone is confused about the apology/thanks combo they're getting. Especially because it revolves around Sanji and Germa. Zeff is ready to kill them all but Patty says they can work for their forgiveness and puts them in the dishpit.
It's good for them, they're working through a lot of things and Zeff keeps making them push back against him verbally. They're...healing, but they need more but at least they're also developing some skills that can help them in their pursuit. Over time, maybe about a year ish later they decide to find Sanji. To go apologize, they won't ask for forgiveness, it's not something they deserve but he needs to their regret, their sorrow, their change. For them to be like him like their mother wanted. Maybe their skin is no longer metal, still extremely durable but they can be bleed.
Following the Strawhats is a challenge and Zeff warned them about it though. He gives them his lot of the Grand Line, a log post, and demands letters. They agree as Reiju stays with Zeff. As they set sail Zeff tells them to not be afraid of Sanji's boyfriends, they'll understand eventually! Which makes Niji ask the hell that means to no response. It takes a few months but they're doing fine. Mostly.
The New World is a bigger challenge than they expected but when they catch up the crew is fighting Marines and it's all an out assault from both sides. Ichiji says they should attack the Marines so they do with their powers and uhhh, is that a guy with three swords coming after them? Oh shit it's that Roronoa Zoro guy! Fuck!
Yonji is trying to calm him down while evading him. Ichiji and Niji are still focusing on actually fighting the Marines who start to retreat and the fire dives down so Luffy snaps onto their ship with a rubbery twang and pure anger and Nami, the hot chick they remember is there on a cloud. Right. Okay. They can do this!
"You broke the agreement so we're going to sink your ship!" Luffy yells at them in warning.
"We want to to apologize to Sanji." Ichiji says evenly.
"I'll see if he even wants to talk to you after what happened." Nami growls as the cloud takes her back. They get a signal to meet at the ship. Not to board, so it's kind of awkward with the height differences between the ships. Luffy and Zoro jump up onto their ship as Luffy slings an arm around Sanji with a cowboy guy who is glaring viciously at them.
"Speak your piece and get the fuck away!" Sanji yells at them.
"Were sorry! We are not owed forgiveness for anything!" Yonji starts.
"That's not an apology." The cowboy says.
"Oh, Sabo's going suuuper to love this." The robot says.
"Ah, do you want us to say? We don't know what you told them and don't want to cause more problems." Ichiji asks.
"Start with the cuffs." Luffy demands.
"Cuffs?" A few voices ask.
"Sorry we let Judge put those on you!" Ichiji says with a wince.
"Sorry for our childhoods!" Niji yells. "And electrocuting you with that plate in your back, especially. And calling you a failure after you got shot."
"Wait-" Zoro tries.
"Sorry about the dungeon?" Yonji tries which flummoxes the rest of the crew except Sanji.
"Oh my God they're going to die." Nami says.
"Zeff says you should write more, he's kind of been doing the whole push back thing he did with you? Reiju's still there." Ichiji says.
"Alright, I'll write to the fucking geezer but if I see any of you before I come back to Baratie I'm not who you have to worry about." Sanji threatens.
"Just one?" Luffy asks.
"Nah, let Sabo deal with them." Cowboy says. "Zeff is more likely to forgive him."
"Doubt that, lets get the fuck outta here, I need to start lunch." Sanji says walking away from the railing. With the crew chattering after him. When the brothers get home a few months later there's a blond guy talking with Reiju and Zeff and smiling politely with another orange haired girl beside him.
"Don't threaten them too much." Zeff warns.
"I would never sully this fine established like that." The blond says with mock offense.
"Don't sully it with blood either." Zeff stresses.
"Of course not! I'll do it elsewhere and no one will know." The blond smiles at the chef. "Bye guys!" He chirps, grabbing a pipe from the floor and leaves with the other girl who mimics slitting her throat at them with a smile as she skips out the door.
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vampiricgf · 1 day
Text
ALMOST HEAVEN \ PROLOGUE
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› astarion x f!reader
› summary : with wedding plans in place, the day of the ceremony is quickly upon you. But does this have the ability to be a happy union?
› word count : 1k+
› warnings : arranged marriage, angst, he's mean
notes : arranged marriage angst!! lil short thing to kick it off but chapter one is already finished so I'll be posting it shortly ^⁠_⁠^
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series masterlist | chapter one
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It was a marriage of convenience.
That's what you told yourself, to keep the expectations grounded in your head. As a nobleman's child you knew it was more likely that your match would not, in fact, be found by you but would be selected by your affluent family for the singular purpose of furthering whatever aims or intrigue was most lucrative.
What you hadn't expected was him.
A High Elf, a most unusual candidate for such an arrangement given how elves are often even more serious about love and sacred bonds than humans are. But then again, it isn't uncommon for them to enter into serious relationships with humans given that the lifespan difference means the relationship lasts for about the same amount of time as it would take to master whatever interest caught their fancy.
It was nothing but a side path on the grand road of their lives.
And he was paving a grand road indeed.
Magistrate Ancunín had impressed your father, and had given himself an in with the most prominent of the partiar families.
Caldwell, and it's fortune built on the vast orchards to the south of the Gate. One may think, mistakenly, that an orchard family would be similar in temperament to druids. That was the placid facade the people of the Gate were familiar with, simply content to munch on Caldwell apples and pears.
In truth your father was more akin to a war ship than a man. Your family’s vast wealth had been accrued from underhanded dealings that allowed for a near total takeover of the lumber industry in both the city and surrounding area. It also helped your father had laid plans to poach some of the best minds behind timber treatment, leading to a proprietary process that forced most others out of business.
People like the Magistrate, however, were not so easily fooled. The interior of every patriar family was rotten through and through, black as pitch and stretching their slimy fingers across the city.
If ever they paid attention the fruit might just blacken in their hands, turned to nought but ash.
And for your part you were no naive fool. You knew about the rumors of corruption that swirled around him, but then again who among the upper echelon wasn't tainted by such whispers?
It was hardly a scandal even if it were true.
Still, as hard as you tried to keep your expectations realistic, the constant disappointment surrounding your wedding plans stung deeply. Of course he'd want little to nothing to do with the process, your family tittering and fluttering about making sure it would be a show of wealth and power - and you, a centerpiece of it clad in a dress that looked more like some puff pastry with a painted on, garishly made up expression of faux happiness.
You hadn't seen Astarion since the announcement had been made more than five months ago.
That wasn’t wholly unusual, given the arrangement, but you could only admit to yourself in secrecy how disappointing it was to have only your family and hired help to coordinate what should have been a joyous day. For an ordinary, plain couple it may have even been a joint effort.
Truly you worried for many weeks over how he felt about being tied to a woman he didn’t love for the rest of your life, at least.
Your mother had told you again and again that excitement was shared all around, abundant between your family and your soon-to-be groom. But there were no relieved sighs or elated smiles to be had from you.
The words were empty.
All you had been told concretely was that Astarion had consented to the match, and agreed to the date barring any complications or unseen circumstances.
In contrast the the made face and complicated hairstyle you sported there was a dour look upon your face.
“I wish we could have spoken before today, but his estate kept replying that he was unavailable.” You say to no one in particular, frowning down at your hands.
“Theres no need to worry about such things,” your mother said, not even sparing you a glance as she fussed over some discarded pile of tulle. “You’re both as ready as you can be. And remember, this is a fortuitous union. Do try to behave yourself.”
Annoyance cracked through the anxiety in your gut. Of course, behave yourself because you’re someone else’s problem now. Don’t make us look like blathering idiots.
An impossibility, you snort to yourself as your rise from the ornate vanity.
With a stomach full of knots you silently eye the older woman straightening your gown and fluttering about like some nervous hen. Had she always looked so… exhausted? Thick greying hair bundled back in a severe updo, jewelry, always tasteful, delicately adorned the thin skin of her hands and wrists. Her expression as serious as her hairstyle, one you don’t ever remember her breaking often.
If he could love you, would he still when you more closely resembled the women in front of you now?
~
Those knots had turned into complete rigging by the time even, heavy footsteps carried you through the crowd of revelers.
They may as well have been dolls made up of paper, barely seen even in your peripherals as you looked at him.
Standing at the far end, a vast distance distorted by nerves, was his figure in stark relief against the almost dreamy atmosphere. A purposeful mess of ivory hair, curls that fell in a purposefully effortless manner and barely brushed the tips of his ears. Tasteful jacket embroidered with a pattern of golden thread, every bit the image of a man marrying into prominence. Belonging to prominence already.
His features were enough to have your heartbeat immediately thrumming hard and fast in your chest, enough to make you momentarily question whether someone could lose consciousness if such a rhythm maintained itself for too long. You couldn’t help but wonder what he thought of you.
An organic couple would perhaps have feelings of overwhelm rise up upon seeing each other in a similar way, fond memories and beautiful shared moments. Nothing like that existed between you two. The only prior memories you held were of sitting like a demure piece of decoration in the parlor as you two exchanged perhaps a full sentence before he discussed details in private with your father.
He hadn’t shown much interest in you then, and it seemed to be the case now.
Despite the congenial smile adorning his face as he took your hand his eyes were distant. Far away and full of other things, even a hint of impatience that you didn’t care to explore further, rather you kicked yourself internally for expecting some sort of rapturous happiness. Ridiculous.
He remained impassive as the priest of Lathander began droning on, and it became clearer with every passing second that being here with you was hardly magnanimous for him. That realization seized something in your chest, a wild thought of stopping the wedding frantically pulling at the edges of your mind.
That isn’t something you could do though, no matter how wildly you wanted to - years of training and upbringing overrode the urge.
Do try to behave yourself.
The vows were hollow from both your lips, flowered words that, if they were said by any other couple perhaps they might have been moving, but from your lips they fell flat like overripe fruit to the ground, spotted with swirling shades of bruised plum and the too soft grayish shade of decay. Forlorn and quickly forgotten to rot.
The kiss was equally impassive and far away, despite being such an intimate act it was utterly substanceless. His warm lips met yours for only a brief second before pulling away,
It felt more like a kiss of death. The final seal on the entire circus. It was all real, all concrete now.
The ring on your finger felt as heavy as an ingot strapped to your hand as your smile stretched wide, feeling garish and insincere as your hands found one anothers.
“Ms. Caldwell, its an honor to dip my fingers in your familial purse.” The whisper as he wore a faux smile was cut through with a disgusting amount of smugness. It made you bristle.
“Perhaps we should've been selling tickets for the performance.” You say frigidly, making sure to keep the smile stretched across your own lips as you grasped his hand.
You could tell he struggled for a moment to contain a laugh before whispering again.
“You are refreshingly pragmatic, you know. Perhaps this isn’t the worst union in the world.”
Perhaps.
It devastated you all the same, feeling like some puffed up clown in the middle of the renewed revelry.
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penkura · 3 days
Text
last forever [3/13]
Summary: Zoro only offered to marry you to keep you out of an arranged marriage with a man much older than you. You agreed with the caveat of ending it via annulment once you received word from your parents regarding the original engagement, despite your growing feelings for your close friend.
Pairing: Zoro x Fem!reader, mentioned Sanami later (like epilogue later so chill)
Warnings: Marriage of Convenience, Fake Marriage, referenced sex (waaaaaay later on), mutual pining, Zoro is bad at feelings but what's new there, eventual romance I promise, mention of past attempted assault (I'll warn in that chapter), creepy older dude later on
Note: At time of posting, this is the most recent chapter I have finished. Chapter four will be worked on and hopefully posted tomorrow (4/29), then I will update every Monday, hopefully.
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Your stress is through the roof, watching Zoro fight against Dracule Mihawk. You're wringing your hands hearing Luffy tell Johnny and Yosaku not to interfere, and it makes you want to jump over and help. You knew this was his plan as soon as name left Johnny's mouth before you all arrived at Baratie, you hadn't gotten the chance to tell him he should wait, and seeing his swords break, the large attack from Mihawk that left him bloodied and Luffy screaming his name now makes you wish you could go back and do that.
"Sis, we need your sewing skills!!"
Johnny and Yosaku brought Zoro onto a small ship manned by Usopp, one you'd probably be taking to go after Nami and bring her and the Merry back.
You're about to jump in and go to them, before remembering the one thing keeping you from doing so.
Damn it, I can't swim!
"You have to bring him over here! You guys know I can't swim!"
"We can't get close enough," Usopp yells and looks between you and Zoro, "He's bleeding really bad!"
Biting your lip, you barely notice Luffy wrapping his arms around you three times before he says your name.
"You're gonna fly!!"
"Wait wha–"
Luffy lifts you up and stretches his arms all the way over, making sure you've touched down on the boat before he lets go, arms snapping back as he tells you to help Zoro. You start getting your supplies ready, your heart pounding in your ears and you barely notice Zoro awake, lifting up Wado Ichimonji and making a promise to Luffy with heavy breaths and tears you've never seen before.
Actually, you've never seen Zoro cry before this day.
"Until I become…the world's greatest swordsman, I swear…I'll never lose again! Got that, King of the Pirates?!"
Hearing Luffy's agreement makes you smile as you stare at Zoro, quickly remembering you have to start stitching him up or he'll bleed to death in this tiny boat. Usopp starts you all in the direction Nami took the Going Merry, while Johnny and Yosaku watch you with tear filled eyes as you stitch up the gash from Mihawk down Zoro's chest, he's nearly fast asleep by the time you finish and cut the thread.
A very quiet word of thanks leaves his mouth before he's asleep, you simply respond telling him not to mention it, rinsing your hands in the sea water. Johnny gives you praise for being able to stitch up such a large wound, Usopp saying you were one of the best he'd ever seen for a makeshift doctor. You hear them, but don't respond, watching Zoro sleep instead. Despite his loss to Mihawk he looks as if he's resting peacefully, and that makes you happy to think about for the time being.
You're quiet as you place a hand on his face, stroking his cheek slightly while telling the others that he'll be alright, before removing your hand from his face.
You'd love to tell him how amazed you are and that you have feelings for him, but now's not the time. Maybe another day, when you aren't chasing down your friend who's stolen your ship and is going off to who knows where, and maybe when Zoro isn't unconscious from nearly bleeding out after taking on a fight he couldn't win (but oh how badly you wanted him to win it).
Right now, you have to focus on Nami.
+!+
How you all have now liberated three towns from Pirates or the threat of Pirates, you aren't sure. Your crew isn't anything like the Pirates your parents had tried to teach you to fear as a child. Luffy was far too kind and really only wanted to be King of the Pirates, but helping Nami came first.
Freeing her home from Arlong and his Fishman Pirates was the main priority of the day, and you were glad to lend a hand. Nami had become your best friend in no time, you had to help her. Even when you were told (ordered really) to stay back by Zoro, you made sure you were ready to help if needed.
And you tried. Tried to pull Zoro away after he'd beaten Hachi and was on the verge of collapse from a fever and his wounds from Mihawk, but he tried to shove you away and tell you he was fine despite the dizzied look he had. Arlong ripping his stitches out caused you to try again, trying to help him, but you were stopped by Johnny and Yosaku pulling you back, telling you not to bother because you'd just die.
Even seeing Luffy swap places with Zoro terrified you that he was going to be even more badly injured, but you were still held back by your old friends through the end of Luffy's fight against Arlong, finally freeing Nami and her hometown.
Your biggest concern afterwards was Zoro, but when you saw him later that day with a drink in hand you knew he was fine. Most of your time at the party was spent with Nami and her sister Nojiko, listening to Usopp tell his stories to the kids, and sharing Sanji's food with Luffy. Every now and then you'd look for and find Zoro, a few times smiling brightly at him when you caught his eye, which made him look away from you immediately.
Sanji, still brand new to the crew, noticed the looks you and Zoro shared that night. You were strange, your relationship with him, whatever it was, was strange to him.
Even stranger, he notices you leave Nami and Nojiko at one point, hurrying over to Zoro and latching onto his arm, making him lean in to hear whatever you had to say. He rolls his eyes while you smile, but doesn't shake you off, letting you move his arm around your shoulders while he has another drink.
You're weird, both of you. The rest of the crew isn't phased at all by the two of you being so buddy-buddy, but Sanji wonders what you two have going on. Are you together? How long have you known each other? Surely you only met when you each joined Luffy, right?
When Zoro leaves you to go look for Luffy, food, or another drink, whatever it is, you seem content to be left alone, until Sanji sees your shoulders drop and you look almost like you're going to cry. Maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him, he's not sure.
But if Zoro said or did something to upset you, Sanji was going to make sure the swordsman paid for it.
+!+
The majority of your crew doesn't know of your struggles with nightmares. Normally they take the form of your parents, the man they were going to force you to marry, and being trapped in a loveless life in your home village where most treated their children like property to be sold. Your only solace there being your older brother who was protective over you. Being the one to help you run away, making you swear to never come back and to take his sword to protect yourself after he'd spent the last few years teaching you how to use it.
You were good at keeping those demons to yourself, to not worry anyone. The nightmares had been less lately anyway, you felt safe with everyone around. The six of you on your way to Loguetown, you and Nami snatching up the office area as your room, both turning in late in the night after long talks about numerous things.
Your bad dreams, however, took a new form that night. This time, the dream takes you back to Baratie, back to Zoro's fight against Mihawk, and instead of him waking long enough for his promise to Luffy, you're sitting beside him while he bleeds from the wound and you're unable to move. You can't bring yourself to start stitching him up, and before anything else happens, you've woken up.
While it wasn't as bad as the dreams about your parents, it was enough to shock you awake and into a seated position on your bed. Nami is still fast asleep in her own bed, apparently not having noticed or heard your heavy breathing from the nightmare. You don't know why your nightmares took this turn, you'd much rather deal with seeing your parents in your dreams than seeing your closest friend and ally dying in front of you, even though he was just down the hall and alive.
It's several minutes of tossing and turning before you decide to get up and sneak off to the boys' bunks, turning back to your habit you'd been determined to stop as more crewmates joined, but you can't help it.
The past nightmares have been enough to make you slip into bed with Zoro before, he never fought you over it and let you stay, let you continue when it was just the two of you, but with more friends you worried they'd all get the wrong idea.
And maybe they will, but if Zoro doesn't mind and it helps you sleep, they shouldn't complain or tease you. Hopefully.
Usopp and Luffy are both spread out on the floor, making you have to tiptoe around them to get to Zoro's hammock, not even registering that Sanji's is empty.
You're quiet while you slip in and under the blanket, wrapping your arms around Zoro and making yourself comfortable. You figured he was asleep when you walked in, but his hand moves to grab one of your own, thumb stroking the back of your hand while he waits to hear if you say anything.
You don't, Zoro doesn't mind, he knows you won't tell him the contents of your nightmares anymore, not after the first one. If you're unable to sleep, he's glad to let you join him and keep you safe. He promised he would do so, helping keep your demons away so you could rest.
Unfortunately, your peaceful sleep is interrupted early in the morning by Sanji shouting at Zoro to get off you, like he'd done something wrong when you were the one to climb into his hammock.
"What do you think you're doing to [Y/N]-chan, you moss head?! Get your hands off her!"
A pillow lands on your face, likely aimed for Zoro, but it misses him due to the fact his face is buried in your shoulder while one arm is around you. Normally your face would be red at this, but with Sanji still nearly screeching for Zoro to "unhand" you, all you can think about is crawling in a hole and dying.
Zoro gets fed up and eventually lets you go, taking the pillow that disturbed you both and throwing it back at Sanji with twice the force.
"Shut up already!! You're going to wake the whole damn East blue!"
"I will as soon as you stop violating sweet [Y/N]!"
Yeah you really want to just up and die right now.
"Who's violating her?!"
"You are, you savage!"
"How do I violate my own wife when she's the one that crawled into my bed?!"
Everything goes quiet, you don't want to know what look is on Sanji's face at the moment, but you're grateful for Nami coming in and telling everyone to shut up, even though she's a moment too late. Luffy and Usopp were awake and just watching the scene unfold, until Zoro's statement which makes Usopp's eyes go wide and Luffy laughs. He just knew you two wouldn't be able to keep this secret.
You're so embarrassed that you pull the blanket up over your now definitely bright red face, wishing Zoro and Sanji didn't feel the need to egg each other on and instigate all these petty fights.
When you finally decide to look and see what's going on, Luffy's still laughing, Nami is confused, Zoro's still got a glare set on Sanji, while your chef and Usopp are both looking at the two of you wide eyed, disbelief on their faces before there's one outburst from Sanji.
"Your WHAT?!"
+!+
It feels like an interrogation. You're in the kitchen still in your pajamas with Usopp and Sanji both questioning you and Zoro about your little marriage, Nami and Luffy enjoying breakfast to your side.
Zoro's completely unbothered by the whole thing, answering Sanji's questions with an annoyed look, while you answer Usopp's inquiries with your face still red from the way everyone was woken up that morning.
Eventually, they come to realize you two are only married to prevent the arranged one your parents set up, making Sanji sigh in relief and Usopp is slightly concerned but seems to understand.
“So, one more time,” you just can’t look at Usopp while he relays your situation once again, “You and Zoro got married to prevent you being forced into an arranged marriage, but you’re going to annul?”
You nod, taking glances at Zoro, who continues to glare at Sanji for waking you both too early. All of this was too much first thing in the morning, and you both had decided to keep this little marriage a secret from any new recruits, wanting only Luffy and Nami to know because you’d both slipped up with calling each other husband and wife without thinking about it in front of them.
"And you're just waiting for your parents to say something?"
You nod again at Sanji's question. "It's weird, I know but…I just can't go back there. My older brother told me never to go back, or I'd definitely be forced into that marriage."
"Your parents suck." Luffy nodded, still eating his breakfast when you look over at him with a smile. "But we'll keep you safe! We'll fight anyone that tries to take you from us!"
"No one's forcing you back home," Zoro doesn't look at you, instead moving to leave and start his training for the day despite not having breakfast yet, "I'll make sure of that."
There's something in the way he says it, as you thank everyone, that makes Sanji lean back in his seat and watch Zoro leave. Even with you both stating you were not in love and were going to annul the marriage as soon as you heard from your parents, Sanji swears there's something weird about the way Zoro treats you.
It might just be friendship, but it feels like something more that neither of you are saying. You absolutely could be hiding real feelings for each other, he knows that, the way you two speak to each other and work together seems to say so, but until either of you say anything, Sanji isn't willing to believe this is anything more than a sham marriage.
There's something else, he's noticed in his short time with you all, in the way you look at Zoro, the way you speak to him as well. Zoro's a tough guy, but you speak so gently and kindly to him, it's almost like you really are his wife and want to stay that way. Maybe it's just your dynamic since you two have known each other much longer than the other Straw Hats, but Sanji isn't convinced. You and Usopp break him out of his train of thought by asking for breakfast, which he proceeds to provide you both with a grin, deciding he'll have to ask you another time if you have feelings for the moss head swordsman. If your heart's already taken, he'll gladly leave you be, despite his rivalry with Zoro.
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memyselfandmya · 10 hours
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Notes on the JWCT Trailer
This will include spoilers and also my possible theories for events that will happen in the show so if you don't want to read that then keep scrolling.
Why is future Brooklynn always shoving her face into cameras?? Fits her character, I guess. In all serious, I love her new design even if it's only for a few seconds, the hair suits her face really well.
ALSO SHE'S DEAD????? I mean I had a feeling that if it were to be one of the campers it be her, but to have it confirmed is insane.
I secretly believe she's not dead and I might make another post about that. Unless we actually see her die I won't believe it.
Darius is never going to escape this guilt and the pressure of being responsible for the lives of others, is he? Give my baby a break.
Also I'm so used to referring to the campers as my babies but now they're grown ass adults that are significantly older than me, like what?
I'm excited to see what's actually going to be on Dark Jurassic bc we know people are tracking dinosaurs but I want to know all of the crazy conspiracies.
Why are they after the campers? That's my biggest question. I truly can't wait to see who's hunting them and why.
AHHH the rest of the campers are 100% confirmed. It was kind of obvious after the leaks and the show description but actually seeing them is making me feel some kind of way.
YASAMMY. As for if Sammy and yaz are still together, that's what I'm interested in. The way Ben was talking, it seems like everyone is separated, which would include Sammy and Yaz. It's possible that they could be physically together but I feel like that it would also make it way more easier to track everyone down if two of the three people were already with each other. This doesn't necessarily mean that they're now separated, they could always just be doing long distance or whatever. My theory is that Yaz and Sammy broke up at one point--Why? I don't know--just to make the separation/isolation between the campers more drastic but then that classic thing will happen where the two characters part of a larger group have broken up but are forced to regroup with everyone else, and therefore each other, and it's awkward at first, especially with the close proximity but then they begin to rekindle their relationship and make amends. Sometimes that ends with one of them dying at the end but praying that won't happen. If they're not together then this is the only alternative I'll take. Sammy and Yaz do seem to be very cutesy in the later scenes so it doesn't seem tooo out of reach.
The scene where Ben's van is driving along a road is giving major Texas vibes -> Sammy?? My guess is that she's the first they go to find.
I love Sammy's new design; her outfit just feels like her and the pink hair ends are everything I need. An homage to Brooklynn maybe? We all know Sammy was her biggest fan.
Also the clip of her seems to be like a fair or something which makes sense but it also looks like a couple of things are knocked over like a pole and a bucket. Also she's taking up a defensive stand. Could there have been like a county fair that was attacked by dinosaurs? That's what I'm thinking.
Kenji's design is cool. I don't have much to say about it but it feels like him enough. My boy is also getting active, I see. Is that his coping mechanism? Such a stark contrast to the lazy boy we once knew.
Yaz's new design I like. She's my favorite so I feel like I might me most critical about her design. Her hair is super cute but it's also taking a bit to get used to because in one clip she reminded me of Marinette from Miraculous Ladybug and I can't unsee it but it looks great in her first clip. I love the bangs. I'm curious about the background in that clip, I wish we got to see more of it. It looks sort of like a metal fence so could she be in Texas with Sammy. Later, I'm going to propose a theory that might oppose this idea though.
The next scene with the mysterious man is interesting. Is he one of the guy hunting them? The phone also seems to pink which does't seem like a color he would have. You want to know who would have a pink phone?? BROOKLYNN. I saw a theory by @snaileo which I like, that it's Brooklynn's phone which seems plausible. Perhaps it could be directly after Brooklynn's been attacked and sent that video to the others (Ben?) to warn them. So now the campers would know they're being hunted or whatever which could be the potential "problem" the guy is talking about. Just an idea.
I can't fucking wait until May 24th
The next scene definitely has to take place on Sammy's ranch. It's got that Texas terrain and there's also those pasture fence things and Sammy's in the scene. (And Bumpy too??? FUCKING YESSS). She also kind of moves in front of Ben and Darius like, "who the fuck is coming to my ranch??" Maybe I'm just overanalyzing that but we do know Sammy gets defensive over her ranch. Ben and Darius probably went to her first by the looks of it as Kenji and Yaz aren't pictured. Anyways, I'm so excited to see this place that Sammy committed corporate espionage for.
The scene with Ben in the kitchen place area talking about the raptors has a bunch of boxes in the background. I'm thinking this might still be Darius' cabin but the walls and general atmosphere seem a lot lighter. It could just be because it's day in that scene. Whoever's place it is, the boxes likely either mean that somebody's just moved in or that whoever lives there is prepared to leave at a moment's notice which is why I think it's Darius' cabin. At the same time, the door that's seen for a split second on 0.25 (yes that's the speed I'm watching it at, they're lucky I can't go slower) doesn't seem like a door that would belong in his cabin. It kind of reminds me of an RV. I do have to go and re-watch the teaser trailer to remind myself of what his cabin looks like. But if it's not Darius' place then who could it be? It could be Kenji's place because he looks all comfortable on the bed but then again, it's Kenji, he'll make himself comfortable anywhere. Maybe it's where Ben is staying. I'm probably looking way too deeply into this location but I need to know every detail until the show comes out.
The next scene obviously takes place in Sammy's house/ranch. One, she's there. Two, the overall home has that western/southern vibe to it, like with that swinging door thing. Three, if you look closely enough, there's a sign that says, "love hard, ranch harder," which, honestly that's definitely something that would be in Sammy's house. Four, if you still need proof, the thing she knocks over is a pitch fork thing which is very farmer-y. Also that door that she runs out of? That is a southern-door if I've ever seen one. Im jk but also I'm not. I wonder if this is happening before or after Ben and Darius arrive there. I want to say it's after because of the, "they found us," that precedes the scene but if so, where are they in that moment? An idea I have is that this scene happens first, and as she's running, she stumbles upon those two which is where we have that other scene where the car is driving up which could be the people who are handling/using the raptors. I could be completely wrong, though.
I cannot read maps for the fucking life of me. Does anybody know what it's of? I wonder where, when, and how Sammy acquired that map from Brooklynn because it could likely mean that Brooklynn had more contact with people before she "died." I just really want to find out the mystery surrounding her death/disappearance. What does the note say, hmm?
I ran out of space so I have to make a Pt.2 lmao
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bb-olicity · 1 day
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On An Island Alone
It’s been 3 weeks since Chenford’s breakup and I feel like I’m on an island… alone.  The day after 6x06 aired, I made the decision to walk away from The Rookie. Well, at least until after the finale. I’ll decide if I'm walking away permanently once I check online and see how the season ended.  And before I go any further, to anyone who wants to say I'm not a true Rookie and (most importantly) Chenford fan: I have just as much right to stop watching the show as you do to keep watching it.
So why am I choosing to no longer watch the show?
The main reason I started watching the show in the first place is/was Chenford and I can’t sit there and watch them redo Seasons 4 and 5A and I won’t. Especially considering the fact we already know from Eric’s comments to TVLine they’re not getting back together by the end of the season finale.  I do not see them getting back together until at least the midseason finale next season.  Actually, if I’m being completely honest, I’m not sure they will get back together or if they even should.  I know me saying that will make a lot of people mad, but after reading Melissa and Eric’s post-episode interviews, I got a sense of finality when they were talking about Tim and Lucy’s relationship as a couple and the breakup.  Plus, I honestly don’t see how they can come back from what they did, which leads into the other reason why I’m not watching anymore.
Tim’s whole storyline rubs me the wrong way in so many ways.  They could’ve brought in his military past in so many other ways and still had him struggle without destroying his character in the process.  As it is, the storyline feels extremely forced just to cause drama for the sake of drama and, for me, irredeemably destroyed Tim’s character.  They completely erased 5 ½ seasons of character growth in the matter of only 1 ½ episodes.  And I'll never be able to see Tim the same way again, even if he goes to therapy.  I personally would never be able to trust him again and I honestly don’t see how Lucy could either.  That’s also why part of me feels like they should not get back together. Yes, I know it’s a short season and everything is condensed, but Alexi and the writers should not have done the storyline this late in the season, knowing they would not be able to do it justice with only 4 episodes left and not knowing the show’s fate by the time they finished filming the finale.  Since they were planning to break them up, I feel like they should’ve done it at the end of the premiere or by 6x03. That way there would’ve been time for Tim and Lucy to work through their struggles individually then work them as a couple by the end of the season.
Why do I feel like I’m on an island alone?
After the episode aired, a lot of the fandom was angry and a good number said they were done to show.  However, over the last few weeks, I’ve noticed that number dwindling and a lot fans are now justifying the breakup who weren’t before and they have absolutely every right to.  I can see where they’re coming from, to a certain extent.  Tim and Lucy both were hiding things from each other since they started dating and would just gloss over things that needed deep and meaningful conversations to work them out.  That said, I personally will never agree with the breakup or the whole (Tim’s) storyline and will always maintain the breakup was completely unnecessary and they could’ve (and should’ve) stayed together and worked through their struggles as a couple.  So yeah, I’m on an island alone… and that’s okay.
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batshieroglyphics · 2 days
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I guess it's that time of year, again, when I ask folks to send me prompts(text is link to my ask box) for the 800-2k word ficlets I send out with holiday cards. (For those new to this, ficlets will get publicly posted to AO3 in Feb/March of 2025. And I usually post the rough drafts to Patreon, if you really can't wait.)
Things to keep in mind about prompting:
I do not anticipate to write every prompt I get, and multiple people sending in the same or a very similar prompt will not make it more likely to get written. (This does not mean you shouldn't send in a prompt.)
I don't write in any of my existing AUs, because I don't want folks to have to be familiar with a longer fic or series to enjoy a little ficlet with their card.
I am not currently writing Harry Potter for personal reasons. Any prompts sent for this fandom will be deleted out of hand. (This does include crossovers.)
I will 100% write a ficlet for my own OCs. I am not comfortable writing a ficlet with another person's OCs unless their creator requests it themself, and are open to me pestering them for more information.
I will write both shippy and platonic ficlets. However, these do aim to be family-friendly, since I don't know who's opening anyone's mail, so we aim for a generalised Teen rating.
If you've never seen me write a ship, but you know I'm in the fandom, go ahead and prompt it. (If it's a ship that I have no intention to write, I'll just quietly delete it, not here to insult anyone's joys.)
Yes, anon is on. Please don't give me a reason to change that.
You can also send your prompts to either of my multi-fandom blogs (batsutousai and the back-up bats-batsutousai) or my twitter (LadyMarvolo). You can also send them through my cohost (batsutousai) or bluesky (batsutousai), but I keep forgetting to check both of those places and don't know what sorts of notifications are turned on, whoops.
BATS' SHIP LIST (text is the link. This is not all-inclusive, just the ones I am 100% comfortable with and down with writing. Yes, I know I said, last year, that I was going to try to put together a platonic 'ships' list. That clearly has not happened. I shall make an attempt again this year, but my promises are sand.)
PROMPTS (just gonna do links to some of the prompt lists I've reblogged previously, just please let me know which list you're pulling from?)
Bats' previously created holiday ficlets prompts list
Line of dialogue
Four word prompts
Numbered dialogue prompts
X Me prompts
I think there's one in my drafts that cuddling related? I'll see if I can't find that and post it some time this week.
And, no, you do not have to pick prompts off the lists. If you've got one you've been dying to send me, go for it. Just, please keep in mind that I'm only looking for short ficlet prompts at this time.
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cassandraevans · 2 days
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Some other grievances I've had with the 911 show. I just wanna get these out and be done with it. I wanna just sit back and love the characters without caring about the writer's choices but alas. Hopefully this will be all of my rants about this show and I'll be able to post only what I love about it from here on.
I know I've been very critical of Eddie so far and angrily so. But as much as I'm criticising him for being a very bad and careless romantic partner, i really really hope that when it comes time for him to get together with Buck, he will have learned from all his mistakes and matured and learned about his shortcomings and where they stem from and I hope he'd have worked on himself enough to not put Buck through any of the bullshit he put every one of his romantic partners through. Buck doesn't deserve that.
While I absolutely love Buck, I also have a problem with how he just kissed Lucy while being in a relationship with Taylor where everything was finally looking good, I knew from the moment Lucy was introduced and the way Buck looked at her, and the writers make him cheat on Taylor and ask her to move in as a way to deflect from that. Yes he tells her later, yes she forgives him and I was hoping they would last a little longer but no, the writers just kept her around long enough to make her do something bad to break them up, so then it wouldn't be his fault.
It's like the writers don't think cheating is that bad at all, you cheat? No worries, all forgiven, your partners love you too much to leave you over that. The question is, do the ones that cheat love their partners the same? Because when Hen cheated on Karen I was so pissed, like the lady did not deserve that, I'm glad they didn't break apart over it but still it was not a simple mistake. And then Buck cheated on Taylor and then the writers made her use a private conversation for a news story and stab Buck in the back. Like if they were going to break them up they should've done so when he cheated or let them remain together, I hate it that the writers made Taylor forgive Buck for CHEATING but Buck breaks with her over the first mistake she made in the relationship, I'm not defending Taylor's choices and I was angry at her for it, she could've gotten Buck in so much trouble which he didn't deserve but I hate it that she made one wrong choice and the relationship is over while Buck cheated and he was fine. I hate the writers for trying to dismiss cheating as no big deal.
I was also mad at Hen being all pissy when Karen was grieving the loss of her embryos and Hen had to feed Denny, and do some other things around the house that Karen usually does, I get it, Hen comes home late from her draining shift and it hurts to see that nothing's done but the that's the least you can do for your wife, not to mention one who left her opportunity to become an astronaut to raise a child with you as a family, when she's grieving the loss of your potential children, but Hen keeps complaining and gets mad at Karen for grieving instead of performing her motherly duties, like I feel like the writers of this show have a problem with women taking some time to themselves, whether it be to grieve, or go take care of your dying mother and then grieve, or having postpartum depression, the women are the villain for wanting, no, needing a break, mostly because of things they had no control over, if they deviate from their motherly/spousal duties because of any tragedy, they're not the victim but their partners are, [(I know chim tried his best and didn't deserve to suffer, but neither did Maddie. Chim's storyline after Maddie left literally made me bawl and I'm so glad they're back together, they need each other, I wish they never broke up) so I'm mostly talking about Eddie and Hen here.]
The writers just had to make it all about Hen, when Karen was grieving and staying in bed, all Hen did was complain about HAVING to do the things Karen usually does, Hen looked at it all like an inconvenience. The writers then made Hen accidentally kill that cello girl and justifiably Hen was wrecked with guilt and fear and didn't know how to handle it, can't blame Hen at all for the way she took it but I can blame the writers. Karen put aside all her heartbreak abd grief from her lost embryos and stood by Hen throughout, and I love her for it, Hen deserved Karen to be by her side at such a time, but just before that incident when Karen needed Hen to stand by her and support her emotionally, all Hen did was be impatient and basically tell Karen to wrap it up. The writers made a new emergency tragedy to make it about Hen and tossed aside Karen's grief and made her never talk about it again like it never happened. I hate the writers for that.
Again as a note, these are my opinions about the show, you're free to have your own opinions. I'm just trying to vent out my frustrations with the show on my blog. Don't come at me with your angry anonymous asks and justifications because at the end of the day it's a fictional show. I haven't spoken about what I love on this show yet that doesn't mean i hate it, I'm frustrated by some of the characters' choices because I love them. Viewers will have vastly different opinions about it, to each their own.
Do recommend similar shows to watch while we all wait for new episodes. Lone star is on my watchlist next.
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killian-whump · 3 days
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Hi everybody. Just a quick notice to let you all know there might not be any updates on this blog for a little bit. My mom had a stroke the other day, so keeping up with Colin --- Well, no. Keeping up with Colin is still possible for me, since he hardly does anything we can see anyway and the lovely soul behind @colinodonoghue will surely inform me if he does.
However, keeping up with this blog is gonna take the back burner for a bit, while I help my mom through this tough time and we all adjust to her new limitations and difficulties. I won't be checking my dashboard or seeing posts/mentions/replies on posts (including this one) regularly at all. I only have about an hour or so a day to catch up on ALL my usual things at home (the rest of the time is, for now, spent at the hospital, away from my computer), so please don't be hurt or offended if I don't respond to you here. I'm gonna leave Asks on so you can send me messages if you want to, but please be aware it might take me awhile to see them! I'll also be responding privately to them (or not at all to anonymous ones) so as not to gum up everyone's feeds with my thank yous ;)
I AM on Discord still, as it's the one app I have in the phone I'm borrowing for the time being. Username's the same, and I'm keeping up with the O'Donocrew server (you can join it here if you want to). But again, responses from me are slow and sporadic. Some days I have quite a bit of time to putter around, some days none at all. Please don't be offended if my responses take awhile and/or are a bit short.
As for my Mom's condition... Physically, she's doing pretty good and seems to be on track for a full recovery. There's weakness on her right side, a bit of spatial neglect (sometimes she forgets the right side is there), and some rigidity they're watching out for, but these are all things that are already improving a bit and should improve a lot more with physical therapy. Cognitively, she's a bit easily confused, but her mind is still sharp, her memories intact, and her personality unchanged. However, she's having the most problems with speech and there's a major disconnect between her mind and her mouth when it comes to being able to form words and say what's on her mind. It's highly frustrating for her and worrisome for us, because we want to make sure we're doing everything we can for her, but it's hard when she can't really tell us what she needs/wants. There seem to be improvements in this, little by little, everyday... so we're hoping with more therapy and practice, she'll keep improving and things will get much better. Overall, we're all so lucky and thankful it wasn't any worse, and we're being optimistic about the future.
Thank you for all the well wishes and love I know you guys would/will send. I always feel the love from you all - my mutuals, my followers, my secret lurkers... all of you, my friends. I love you all and will certainly be back as soon as possible to regale you all once again with my crazy hijinks and my immense love of Colin ❤️
Be well, be happy, and be good to one another ❤️❤️❤️
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ultrainfinitepit · 8 hours
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Hello!! I return with more pin making questions :]
In my first ask you mentioned that you'd be willing to go into detail about your favorite social medias, and as I have basically only used Tumblr that would be super useful!
It would also be wonderful if you'd be willing to talk about your experiences with the different shopfronts that you've used, but I understand if you can't due to partnership stuff.
And the last question for now, Newsletters! How did you go about setting one up/what program you use/how long does it take to write an update/etc.
Thank you so much!! You're awesome!!!
Hi again :)) sure I can answer this, this is going to be a very long post so I'll put my answers under the cut.
Same disclaimer as last time that all this is just what has worked for me or what I've personally observed, that doesn't mean this is all objectively correct or factual. Others will have different mileage or find other things that work even better.
Social Media
The three platforms I prefer the most are Tumblr, Instagram, and Twitter.
General recommendations:
Respond to people's comments, even with something as simple as a "thank you" for a compliment. This will help build engagement and foster a good relationship with your audience.
Take nice product photos: keep your pin in focus with a nice background and good lighting. Often you only get one chance for your product to leave a good impression!
Pick only a few social media profiles to manage. Don't stretch yourself too thin such that you can't engage with your audience on all your social media.
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Tumblr
Posts have a long but sporadic lifespan thanks to the queue (sporadic means, they will exhibit random bursts of activity). And you can post large image sets and long text posts with links, for this reason it is my favorite platform.
Getting a following on Tumblr is largely luck-based. Users rebel against posts being pushed into their feed by the recommendation algorithm or boosts. Users find posts via other users and not so much the tags, although the tagging system is leagues better than Instagram's (which no longer shows most recent posts and only shows popular posts).
On Tumblr I get the most traffic from:
Responses to user submissions - for example, drawing people's angel requests.
Tag yourself posts
Silly or cute doodles and comics - especially if people can overlay their fandom darlings onto these posts.
Compilations of Pride-related designs, particularly of popular flags
I have noticed over the years, people do not reblog as much as in the past, so it's harder to get your posts noticed.
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Instagram
In my opinion this is the easiest platform to grow an audience on. Instagram has a very predictable set of criteria for showing your posts to other users, through personal experience it is something like this:
Post once a day.
Post one Reel a day.
No more than three Story shares.
If you deviate from this for too long, or post too many times in a day, Instagram will deprioritize showing your posts to other users. This schedule can be a lot, so if possible I recommend having a buffer of saved up posts and Reels.
Instagram users are pickier about what they like to see. I recommend keeping your profile looking neat and professional; WIPs don't seem to do well there. Instagram users like illustrations and heavily-visual posts; they do not respond well to slides with text on them unless it is a tutorial or tag-yourself post.
Some users like to put memes or other silly images at the end of their posts. I personally don't do this, but I've been told the reason for it is: people share the silly images and that gains more traffic for the post even if they are not sharing the main content.
On Instagram I get the most traffic from:
Fanart of recently popular characters
Tag yourself posts
Pride-related art for popular flags
Cute, colorful illustrated creatures
Anything that asks for audience feedback in the comments. More comments means more engagement, which means it's bumped up in the algorithm.
Hosting monthly art challenges such as Angeltober
Bare chested men
And I have noticed DTIYS challenges are popular and a great way for people to find your profile, although I haven't hosted one of these yet.
Tags on Instagram appear to matter less than in the past, but I still think they are worth using. Try to tag for the content in your post (such as "#biblically accurate angel") instead of using tags for artists or small businesses (such as "#smallbusinessstrong"). Everyone else is using these tags so you have lots of competition, but no one is trawling through those tags so you have less engagement from them. Users are looking for specifically the content they like, they don't care who is posting it.
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Twitter
The most arcane out of these three platforms. Getting noticed on Twitter seems to be largely luck-based as well. I had my Twitter profile for a while with little traffic on it until I started posting the new Pride Angels, then it blew up. Hashtags are pretty useless on Twitter and I didn't have many followers before then so I'm not sure why those got popular at that time.
On Twitter I get the most traffic from:
Pride-related art for popular flags
Other relatable art such as for astrological signs
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Dishonorable Mention: TikTok
I have a TikTok but I just use it to crosspost my Instagram Reels. I do not have many followers on TikTok, I do not put effort into it, and I dislike the interface. That being said, I have heard from other creators it is way easier than Instagram to grow on if you are willing to make videos and post every day.
A note on blacklisted words
On Twitter, Instagram, and possibly Tumblr too: words like "shop" "link" "commission" etc. may cause your post to be deprioritized. This is because social media platforms do not want you going off of them to some other site to spend money elsewhere. That's why you'll notice people censoring these words ("shop" to "sh0p").
Personally I dislike doing this, it just makes me feel silly, so I don't bother. But I will admit, it hurts my posts. So this is something to keep in mind if you want to do shop promotion on social media.
Shops
The shops I run are, in the order of making them:
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Redbubble
The lowest possible barrier to entry for a merch artist: they literally do everything from production to shipping for you, and all you do is provide the artwork. The trade-off is that it's very hard to make any significant money from Redbubble (I make maybe a few cents at most from each sale), and you have no control over the quality of the products.
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Etsy
My referral link here.
While Etsy can be imposing at first, it is probably the easiest out of all the marketplaces to start out on. There is a lot of information to fill out to get started, so take it slow so you don't get overwhelmed. It does get easier after the first listing. Once you make one listing you can just keep duplicating and changing it a little so you don't have to keep making listings from scratch.
Etsy claims you need ten listings in your shop before you open it, but you can ignore that.
Once you've gotten started, there's lots of little tricks to learn such as letter mail shipping, all about VAT, improving listings, sections, and so on that I could go into more detail on if anyone is interested. For now I'll just focus on the platform itself.
I like that Etsy has a marketplace search, as a customer it is really nice to use. I like that it has one big cart for all the items I am looking at, and that it has a favorites system. I also like as a customer how each shop is uniform; I know exactly how to search through each shop and what format to expect. I do enjoy artists' custom shops but, sometimes their interfaces are tough to navigate.
Etsy is reasonably good at showing your items to people, which is the number one reason I recommend it for beginners. Just make sure to put effort into your listings such as tagging them, adding nice photos, and videos.
They have protection features built-in such as covering refunds if an item is delivered but the customer claims to not have received it. Etsy also enables international shipping with VAT which is great for EU/UK customers. My biggest gripe with Etsy is the fees, which I've already complained about.
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Gumroad
Not much to say about Gumroad really. I only use it to list digital items such as PDFs of my lineart. I think it's saved me a few inquiries from people looking for my art for tattoos. Since all that art is for free on social media anyway, I don't charge for purchases on Gumroad. That's just a personal choice though.
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Mercari
Not much to say about Mercari either. I use it to list pins from my personal collection, though I've seen a handful of pin makers use it for the pins they've created. I think the Mercari listing creation is atrocious: they like to recommend titles for your items when you upload new images, and will overwrite existing titles.
I've been considering moving away from Mercari, they recently switched their fee model so now buyers pay fees instead of sellers. This means while sellers can lower their prices, buyers get sticker shock and then ask for discounts on top of already-discounted items. I'm only on there because it's the most popular place for second-hand pin selling.
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Shopify
So far I've really enjoyed Shopify. The setup was nightmarishly hard, not to turn anyone off of it but it took me literal months. You can import your listings from Etsy to Shopify but then you have to redo all the SKUs, link up photos to variants, and so on. If you have a ton of listings like me it takes a while. If you only have a few it is more worth it or, might even be worth starting out on if you can do sufficient promotion.
The major advantage of Etsy over Shopify is the marketplace feature: if you don't need the help of Etsy to promote your items then Shopify might be the better option to start out on.
I like that Shopify has significantly lower fees vs. Etsy. However, they do payouts differently and in a way I dislike. Etsy will deduct your shipping fees before calculating your payout balance, while Shopify will payout your balance and then charge you for shipping as part of your monthly bill. So you need to make sure to set aside some of your funds always to cover the Shopify shipping charge.
Additionally, to enable certain integrations or features you will need to pay for them monthly, which can add up. To sync my inventory between Shopify, Etsy, and Faire I use Trunk Inventory, which charges me a monthly $60 fee. That's in addition to the monthly Shopify fee.
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Faire
I actually hate Faire despite using it. I was going to use Tundra but Faire drove them out of business (lawsuit pending). Now Faire is the only game in town for wholesale so I'm forced to use them, not that it's done me much good since I haven't had any sales there.
I can rant for ages about Faire's horrendous fees and outdated product import. But if you're a beginner you don't have to worry about wholesale selling, so I'll leave that discussion for another time. If anyone wants to hear more from me about Faire they can send another ask.
My stockists
It's quite hard to give honest reviews of my stockists here, since they might see them so, I'll just share my Linktree for them and you all can investigate on your own and inquire privately.
Newsletter
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I used to use Tinyletter but it shut down, so now I use Email Octopus. Here's a referral link, and you can check out my newsletter sign up page here.
Email Octopus doesn't have a newsletter archive, and the interface is more complicated than Tinyletter's, which I dislike; but I like it better than Tinyletter's replacement Mailchimp.
You can try these out for yourself and see which you like better, it really is personal preference. All newsletter services are essentially the same: all you need is a sign up page, a way to store emails, and an ability to send a newsletter to them.
To get people to sign up for your newsletter, I personally recommend always offering it as a choice. For example, if you run a pin campaign, send an update where you share a link to your newsletter to your backers so they have the option to sign up. Do not export their emails and add them to your newsletter without a choice. I have been on the receiving end of this as a backer/customer and it makes me feel bad: it's extra emails in my inbox I didn't agree to and it feels like the creator misusing my information even if technically they are not. As a fellow creator I totally get why others might do this, it's an effective way to get lots of new newsletter signups at once. I just don't personally like it.
Shopify has a built-in newsletter feature you can use as well if you make a Shopify storefront. From your dashboard you can go to Marketing > Create campaign.
I like to send out a shortened newsletter via Shopify. Usually what I do is copy my full newsletter from Email Octopus to Shopify, and remove any bits not directly related to my Shopify, such as news on crowdfunding campaigns.
Writing your newsletter
Writing a newsletter doesn't take much time, and I think it should be a low effort task. In fact, if you make it too long people will not read it.
Throughout the month leading up to a shop update I will update my newsletter with whatever new items are ready, taking only a few minutes here and there. I include a few photos and I make sure to link to the items once they are listed (truncated example below).
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I will also alert people to any sales or other special offers, news about stockists, and crowdfunding campaigns: anything a potential buyer would be interested in.
I have seen other artists share much longer newsletters with impressive graphics, sections on their art process, personal updates - but for myself I usually skip over that stuff in my inbox, so I don't do it as a creator. For others it might be worth the effort!
Final Thoughts
If you read all this, thank you! I know this was a very long post. I hope it helps at least one of you. I won't keep you much longer: you can find links to everything I mentioned in my Linktree and if you have more questions you can send an ask.
One day I'd like to make a tutorial series for making and selling merch, so this was useful as a draft for that. I would also include manufacturer reviews. If that's something you'd like to see someday you can let me know.
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dollypopup · 1 month
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I think it's interesting to look at the 'Mr. Bridgerton' scene as a backdrop for the eventual mirror scene. Firstly, in the fact that I think we've kind of misinterpreted it.
So many people are of the mind that scene's purpose to 'drag' Colin, but really, that scene has 3 primary functions. The first is to inform Colin that Penelope is aware of what he said of her, thus opening the door to clearing the air between them and providing an avenue for which Colin can apologize. The second is to establish the ground that they are currently on: Penelope has given up on the dream of Colin Bridgerton, in particular the perfect prince that can do no wrong, and has made it clear to him. It also creates distance between them that they will bridge.
But the third, and to me the most wrapped up in the mirror and the inner workings of their relationship is that it reveals how Penelope feels about *herself*. It's not necessarily an echo of what the ton considers her as, after all, we have a lot of evidence indicating that, for all intents and purpose, people aren't *unkind* about her, but rather that they ignore her. Audience members recognize this as Penelope's own shyness being the cause, she is often sitting off on the sidelines or not really talking to much of anyone, in the books she's referred to as the 'one who doesn't speak', and her LW business takes her away from being a character in the action of the ton to a bystander, kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts that perpetuates itself. Pen felt unseen so she became LW to have some power, but then LW herself must remain unseen and Penelope continues to be by design of her own making.
No, I think what it really reveals is that Penelope has incredibly low personal self esteem. We as a fandom has lauded that scene as her dragging Colin, saying that he's cruel and calling him Mr. Bridgerton is absolutely meant to create distance between them, but I don't think she's dragging him.
Because the person she is *actually* dragging here. . .is herself. And it is a general theme in her life. In Whistledown. Aloud. Even with Marina, when she complimented her, she assumes that she's lying. When Edwina says she's wearing a pretty dress, Penelope puts herself down and doesn't believe her, even when the compliment is genuine. In truth, Portia is not seen as being particularly unkind to Penelope. At least, speaking as someone who's mum was *awful* about my size and weight and outfits, Portia is. . .overall rather mild. She's not KIND and loving, not by a long shot, but she's also not targeting Penelope only. She's plenty mean and critical to Prudence, too, even to the point where she foists her off to her own cousin as a pawn piece. Penelope has low self esteem because of a lot of reasons, she's bullied by Cressida (I think a lot of girls are, she was pretty mean even to Daphne in S1) and her family isn't very tender to her, and she's not being pursued at every turn, but part of it is also her own perpetuation.
Listen to what she says "Of course you would never court me" "I embarrass you" "I am the laughingstock of the the ton". She sees *herself* as an embarrassment. She puts *herself* down. Arguably, more so than the ton does. She's meaner to herself than anyone else is, aside from Cressida. And honestly? Looking at Colin's face there. . .he is HURT that she considers herself this way. That she's projecting that onto him. Yes, he's hurt that he hurt her, of course he is, he never wants to hurt her. And yes, he's ashamed that he said he wouldn't court her the way he did and that in doing so, he validated her fears that she is unloved and unwanted, but also because. . .she already feels that way about herself. She's felt that way for years. And it's painful to care about someone, to see them as wonderful, and realize. . .they don't feel the same about themselves at all. I don't think Colin is out here feeling so wounded over the fact that she called him cruel and won't refer to him by first name anymore, but that he's most hurt by what she says about herself.
Because he *doesn't* see her the way she accuses. She says she never expected him of all people to be so cruel, but he feels the same way. He never expected her to be so cruel to *herself*. He wants to go somewhere private, not because she is an embarrassment, but because he wants to have a private conversation with her. Maybe assure her. Maybe explain himself. Maybe hash it out. But god Luke Newton's acting. . .he is *aching* for her. And it feels like he's going to do those lessons not in atonement for what he said (thank god) but to genuinely help his friend who thinks badly of herself. To lift her up. It's not about him at all, not about earning forgiveness, but about elevating Penelope. And that's. . .fuck, I just find that's just so heart stoppingly beautiful.
You can see, in that scene, how much he cares about her. How deeply and genuinely he adores her as a person. And just how painful it is for him to know he has validated, whether on purpose or otherwise, how poorly she feels about herself. How low her self-confidence really is. She is giving him a glimpse into the cracks of her heart, and when he sees them, he wants to reach out with both hands and make it feel better. Make her feel better.
After she says 'even when I change my entire wardrobe', he looks so fucking crushed. So 'don't say that'. So 'you really believe that?'. So 'God, I hate that you think that way'.
Because regardless of it all, he does love her. It's not romantic yet. It's not sexual yet. But he genuinely, truly, from the bottom of his heart, thinks she's wonderful. That was evident even in the 'purpose' scene. Every time Penelope opens up and reveals a facet of herself, he likes it. He likes her barbs and her dreams, he likes talking to her. He likes her. And he feels awful that he hurt her. And he feels awful that she's hurting herself. He loves her. He wants her to love herself.
And that's where the mirror scene comes in. Because the mirror scene isn't about sex, not really. Not entirely, at least. The mirror scene is about *intimacy*. The mirror scene is about being seen. Not just her seeing him, or him seeing her, but for Penelope to see *herself*. In a way, through his eyes. Because hers are biased rather negatively toward herself, which is evidenced in the 'Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton' scene, and in so many little moments we've already gotten where she's literally looking down on herself, feeling down. She doesn't necessarily *like* what's in the mirror, but he does. Because he likes *her*. And he wants to show her that he does. Show her that he finds her beautiful and have her recognize that in herself.
The 'Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton' scene is about Penelope revealing how she sees herself. The mirror scene is about Colin showing her how *he* sees her. The Goodnight scene is about Penelope thinking she means nothing to him, that he thinks of her the way she thinks of herself, that this is how everyone thinks of her, and the mirror scene is a direct response to that: No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't think she's embarrassing. No, he doesn't think she's a laughingstock. No, he doesn't think she's unappealing. And he doesn't think she should, either.
And he's going to show her that. Not just tell her, but show her. The mirror scene is so often a focus on Penelope, so much of Polin is in Penelope's focus, but approaching it from Colin's perspective and his motivations is so fulfilling, too. It's a glimpse into them in conversation, and a demonstrate of how Colin loves her. How Colin loves in general, openly and earnestly and altruistically. How he encourages her to be braver and more confident in herself, bolstering her because he just likes her *that much*. How he finds the most fulfillment and satisfaction in caring aloud. The mirror scene is a demonstration of his heart in reflection.
When Luke Newton said the first word that came to mind with the word 'Mirror' was 'Exposed', he doesn't just mean physically. He means emotionally, too.
God this couple is so fucking good.
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