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interact-if · 3 years

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Day 2 of Pride Month interviews! You know them, you love them…. give it up for Ames!

Ames, author of Attollo and Metamorphosis

Pride Month Featured Authors

“…and it was a singular, terrible thought, which burrowed itself into your mind like an engorged maggot. This was not a man nor a monster. This was a concept, an ideology, a terrible myth, which had personified itself to stand before you now.You were, to put it simply, screwed.”

After several years of radio silence, you receive a message from your younger sibling that carries a strange sense of urgency to it. Either out of familial concern or boredom, you embark on a journey from your residence to your sibling’s apartment in New Hampshire to see what’s going on and, hopefully, be home before the weekend.

Too bad it’s never so simple.

Demo: Attollo, Metamorphosis (TBA)

Tags: cybernoir, thriller

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)

Q1: Tell us a little bit about your project(s)!

Attollo is a cyber-noir horror set in a walled city off the coast of the Atlantic that’s been a victim of a nuclear disaster. After several years of radio silence, you receive a message from your younger sibling that carries a strange sense of urgency to it. Either out of familial concern or boredom, you embark on a journey from your residence to your sibling’s apartment in New Hampshire to see what’s going on and, hopefully, be home before the weekend. Too bad it’s never so simple. Attollo is a 17+ game that deals with heavy topics and a lot of moral questioning; from cults to corrupt government, it has no shortage of monsters in the dark—both metaphorical and literal.

Metamorphosis is a crime/horror story based in the world of crime scene cleanup, where there are three simple steps: Get the call, clean the scene, and don’t ask too many questions. These are the rules that you live by under the employment of Noctua’s Crime Scene Services, and you credit them for keeping you alive.

However, after a routine house call brings forth nightmares of memories that are not your own, you find yourself pulled deeper into Noctua—a city of both monster and man—in a bid to find out the truth behind the murder of Deirdre Callow, and better yet, how her memories came to be yours. Your job mandates that you don’t dig too deep—but could this finally be the exception?

Metamorphosis is 18+ and will have explicit content; follow the last moments of a stranger to find out not only who took her life, but how this connects to the underbelly that Noctua works so hard to hide.

Q2: Why interactive fiction? What drew you to the medium?

Lmaoo, oh man. I think it really all began last summer when I first found examples of interactive fiction. I don’t even remember how I came across it, it might’ve been that I saw it mentioned in a post or I saw it as a tag on Itch.io, but at some point, last summer I began to investigate it more. I think what really drew me in was the ability for the player to control the narrative; it was like playing an old RPG, but modernized, and the fact that I could see a story unfold that was influenced by my decisions was so fascinating to me. Not to mention that IF allows so much more character depth than regular novels, in my opinion.

I’m 99% sure my first exposure to interactive fiction was through the game Crème de la Crème (a fantastic game, by the way) and I just enjoyed it so much that I went haywire for the genre. Then Temple of the Endless Night came out (another fantastic game that I’m looking forward to!), and that was really the turning point for inspiring me to give it a go. Now, almost a year later, here I am working on my own two games!

Q3: Are your characters influenced by your identity? How?

My bisexuality doesn’t have much of a major influence on the game, but I do think it contributed to the way that I view and write relationships. I figured out my sexuality around high school (I kissed a girl in high school and found out I liked it just as much as when I kissed a boy) and since then I’ve been very involved in the LGBTQ+ community of both my hometown and uni town.

I think this involvement, like being able to hear about other people’s experiences and share my own, has made me feel a lot more comfortable writing some of the characters in the game. Although Attollo and Metamorphosis both don’t focus heavily on relationships (both have murder in them, which I feel is a bit more pressing), I do keep the option for any RO’s to be romanced by anyone, regardless of gender or preference, because that’s simply what I’ve become so attuned to. In terms of side characters relationships as well, I think my involvement and my own experiences have allowed me to write far more diverse relationships than I might have, and I think that this has also allowed a more fulfilling experience for players when reading through.

I also have incorporated some struggles that I’ve faced before because of my identity into the games. For example, I and a few others have faced issues with religion due to who we are, and I incorporate this into both games. Dreamwalker, Pariah, and Sysba from Attollo all have shadows of this experience in their character origins, and Ilali and Ariston from Metamorphosis has a major point involving identity and beliefs. Both games also have undertows of ostracization and division between groups, which is also something I’ve experienced in the past. Being able to grapple these moments and control them via a narrative has been eye opening for both myself and others involved, and I’m hoping it can be a learning experience for the readers as well.

Q4: What would you like to see more of in LGBT+ fiction?

I think, now, the amount of progress in LGBTQ+ fiction is expanding at a wonderful rate. There are so many interactive fictions with options to select sexuality, select gender, select beliefs, etc. However, despite this expansion, there’s still a good deal of backlash against some aspects of LGBTQ+ fiction.

For example, as a bisexual woman who has dated men, I know there are some individuals who may not consider me a part of the LGBTQ+ because of this aspect. Not only is this incredibly disheartening, but it’s a viewpoint that I think should be educated against, and fiction is a fantastic pathway to do this. Another example I can think of is a friend of mine who identifies as asexual but is sex-neutral rather than sex-repulsed. Most people can’t believe her when she says this, and she often faces backlash for this declaration as well. This is another thing that I think that, with exposure through a medium such as fiction, can be worked on.

What I’m trying to say here is that I think LGBTQ+ fiction can be a brilliantly educational platform—if used right. Although it already teaches so much with what it has, I think having that representation of different subgroups of sexuality, of their experiences and beliefs, so people can become aware and knowledgeable of these options, is something I’d like to see more of.

Q5: What or who are some of your biggest inspirations?

Oh man, I struggled to list off inspirations because I know I have some, but as soon as someone asks me who they are my brain just goes ‘brrrrrr’ LMAO.

In terms of the games that I write and the worlds that I build, I think David Lynch and Robert Chambers are probably the two that I somehow incorporate. Attollo and Metamorphosis both have a lot of surrealist horror, which are what these two really specialized in. Shirley Jackson is also another person who inspired me a lot when it came to the writing and creation of Attollo, especially the intrapersonal relationships between the characters.

In terms of life, this is something else I really struggle to answer. I don’t really have celebrity inspirations or anything like that, but I do get inspired by my close friends and sister a lot. Seeing them go through the struggles that they face and absolutely thrive really drives me to push through my own struggles. They’re the strongest, most brilliant group of people that I know, and I consider myself incredibly fortunate that I can be a part of their lives. Not only that, but we also all collectively encourage each other to push further and to chase our dreams (as cheesy as that is LMAO) and that’s something that I think is another stroke of good fortune. I struck gold when I met them, and they’re some of the biggest inspirations in my life.

Q6: What’s a super vague spoiler for your current project?

For Attollo, I’d say ‘Home is where the heart is.’ For Metamorphosis, to quote John Berendt, ‘Always stick around for one more drink.’

Q7: Lastly, what advice would you give to your readers?

What advice would I give to you all? Oh my, I’m not exactly a wise woman here, but I’ll do my best to give you something lmaooo. I think what I really want you to walk away with, from both my stories and this interview, is that if you’re passionate about something, then share it with the world. Don’t let anyone deter your passion.

I remember listening to this painter once who commented to his friend how he ‘really liked painting’, and his friend’s first response was ‘but are you good at it?’. He then compared this to the scenario of walking; would you say, ‘but are you good at it?’ to someone who said, ‘I really like walking’? No, because it simply wouldn’t make sense, and it doesn’t make sense to say that to anyone who’s doing something out of passion.

To put it simply—if you love something, then don’t let anyone take that passion from you. I began writing these stories because I’m passionate about Attollo and Metamorphosis; I love each character, each bit of lore, and I share it with you because I want you all to enjoy it as well. Am I the best writer? God, no. Does everyone like what I write? Definitely not. But will I let this stop me from writing, from enjoying what I’m doing? Never, and I want you to do the same.

Explore your passions, embrace your passions, and let what makes you happy continue to do so

#if: events #Pride Month 2021 #pride month #queer authors #queer fiction #queer creators #interactive fiction

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charcubed · 3 years

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Don’t be shy, share the take 👀

Okay, so last night I bitched in a mini tag rant saying how everyone on my dash was reblogging the same post with the same bad take and it was driving me bonkers, and then this anon sent me this message, and since I have now seen the post on my dash yet again, I will answer this ask lol.

Also this is an SPN-related topic so anyone not in SPN fandom can keep it moving lol

Before I say anything else though: I’m not out here trying to be a Fun Killer or whatever. Please note how I habitually stay in my lane and simply do not interact with posts that I do not like on this site. Do me the same courtesy and keep scrolling if you don’t like what I am about to say! I am also not trying to shade any mutuals who may have reblogged content I dislike. So... I’m gonna keep this very general, because it’s a wider topic anyway. And I know I’m not the only person who feels this way, based on private conversations (with long-time fans, too).

2 main points of contention:

-If people want to talk badly about Jared they can simply do so without involving Misha or Jensen’s name in it with what is typically bad meme-y format posts, coupled with unwittingly bad takes about Misha and Jensen in the process. I am being vague here on purpose, sorry, but whatever.

-And, mostly: this website is developing a problem with wanting to either call Jensen in particular homophobic or queer without using those exact words, and the result in either instance is people coming up with increasingly convoluted ways to be weird about him or towards him. It’s like either they can’t get a read on him so they want to disparage him, or they think they’ve clocked him but don’t want to mention it, and what ends up being posted in word salad hot takes under the guise of enlightenment is either... literal disgusting slurs (fruity, fag, dyke, etc) whether about Dean or Jensen or both, or the idea that Dean is bi but it was an accident and Jensen couldn’t possibly have been aware of that because it happened beyond his will, or that Dean and/or Jensen is simply repressed, or that Jensen wants to fuck Dean, or ????????

And it’s very like... literally what the FUCK are you even saying and why are you saying it, lol. I get that there’s a certain Style Of Typing that’s becoming popular in this fandom on this site right now, and it’s often in the name of this sort of exaggerated joke posting. But half the time people are just slinging around words and everyone thinks it’s funny and (seemingly) not enough people stop to think twice about how it is, more often than not now, getting fucking weird.

Is it a big concerning deal (beyond the slurs thing, which is absolutely inexcusable)? Nah, not yet. But the numbers are getting huge on some of these posts, and that makes me grind my teeth more, because it means this overall attitude/joke posting format is spreading throughout the fandom hivemind with very little resistance. And it’s upping the frequency of that sort of language and shitposting. So while things that stay on Tumblr don’t have huge impact, right now a lot of things are also transferring over to Twitter as fandom and stan culture has shifted. And that’s when we get into Dangerous Territory On The Wider Stage that can trend or route back to actors, especially because of how Twitter algorithms have changed recently. (I can elaborate on that if need be.)

Really the bottom line though is that I am seeing multiple variations / posts along the line of the same thought process, where the actors of this show (especially Jensen and Misha) seem to be casually dehumanized in language I find startling and off-putting, and people are getting this mental disconnect where they’re forgetting that it’s not okay to say certain things about real people even in the name of jokes. It’s even pushing it when it’s characters, but when it’s about the actors it’s the crossing of a double line. So it’s becoming normalized, and then people don’t stop and think twice, and the posts just circulate because they’re “funny,” and then I see the same thing on my dash 8 times and feel like I’m going insane.

It bothers me and makes scrolling on my dash a minefield of discomfort, but yes, it’s not like that’s going to be seen by the real people in question as of now because Tumblr is Tumblr... but if this mindset becomes pervasive and normalized enough, what happens is people then become even further desensitized especially the kids who are new to fandom, and then in 8 months we’re gonna have some teenager at a con talking about Jensen’s “lesbian photoshoots” to his fucking face and also asking him how he feels about being overtaken by the spirit of a “repressed bisexual character.” The prospect of which makes me feel like I’m going to grow grey hairs.

So. Yeah. There you have it lmao. I am once again asking everyone to stop being weird about real people and queer topics (whether IRL or fictional), be mindful of language, and notice what they’re actually saying or implying in the name of jokes. But, feel free to think ~I take things too seriously~ or am exhibiting ~fake concern~ and just keep scrolling and ignore me though! I am simply answering the question.

#anonymous #asks #char writes things

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raidenenthusiast · 3 years

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re ur tags to be fair on edelgard, ferdinand himself doesnt get main plot time to outline his views and he spends so much of his time in his supports with HER asking for a duel, while having no idea that SHE has no idea of his critiques. i feel like its more just flawed writing/wasted potential (rip ;-;) rather than. her evaluating his critiques and then basically just thinking hes not worth taking seriously.

yeah, i agree! in a way, anyways. i was trying to direct that criticism on the writers, mostly, bc especially when u do look at the other routes, u SEE how much they jipped him in comparison to the other challengers. admittedly, i don't personally like lorenz, so i did not do his supports when i played vw (as well as the fact that i've only played through vw once bc it messed me up real bad n i hated it <3 not ur fault claude i just wasn't prepared for dimitri's death being that graphically described) n that is why i'm going off a comparison to felix/dimitri moreso than lorenz n claude.

i just always found it interesting n also very. sad. how easily n readily dimitri accepted felix's criticisms n challenges, vs how edelgard n ferdinand aren't even really allowed to talk about theirs, n honestly though? okay this is. this is opening up a can of worms, actually, so bear with me.

ferdinand not being taken seriously really at ALL during cf was one of my biggest gripes with the route, actually. this extends to ss, too, but less so. especially considering that his idealogical challenge of edelgard's own views is really, really solid. a lot of people assume that the felix/dimitri clash is idealogically based moreso than anyone else, but. it isn't. dimitri dislikes faerghus' sacrificial knight culture (see: his entire support chain with ingrid) just as much as felix does. the tragedy behind those two is that they actually AGREE on a LOT of things, they just each cannot get past their own personal n emotional burdens (until their a support) to actually communicate properly about it. n again, anyone please feel free to add onto this post about claude n lorenz for a more. well rounded look on all this. but with ferdinand in regards to edelgard, he very directly opposes her ideals n her way of doing things.

where felix has a hard time having a proper conversation with dimitri about their similar views bc of past trauma n emotional walls, personal things, ferdinand puts his relationship as a challenger to edelgard above EVERYTHING; n believes that regardless of their status as friends, rivals, enemies, or anything else, he must fulfill that role regardless.

but, anyway. ferdinand is right, is what i'm trying to say, n he deserves to be taken seriously bc the things that he says are incredibly important. what really struck me about his a support with edelgard was that it was such an integral conversation/included such integral information, n yet it was relegated to a support that players could potentially miss/skip? edelgard having not even THOUGHT of commoner education n the ramifications of a meritocracy until ferdinand mentions it (which is doubly concerning when u remember a supports are locked until post timeskip, meaning she's been leading this charge without ANY detailed thought to support in the aftermath beyond vague mentions of it through "inspirational speeches" n shit) is like. something that definitely should have been addressed within the main story.

anyway, after uhh. going off on that, i think my original point was that yeah, ferdinand isn't taken seriously in the narrative. which he suffers for, unfortunately. especially considering he has a very strong case for his challenging of edelgard's ideals, n that was reduced to just. general competitiveness.

with that SAID, however. i also think i can go off of this point to elaborate on how that relates to edelgard n how specifically in her supports with ferdinand n linhardt, it really shines through how unprepared she seems? she started a war that would uproot fodlan, n she had no (concrete) plans for the political aftermath, even though she planned to assume absolute power?? did she just like, tell hubert to deal with that, or something? i do think that a lot of that could've been the writers reluctant to get too into politics, but.......still.

basically, ferdinand had the potential to really knock her off her feet in the sense of hitting her with hard truths about the things that she was neglecting to think about at all, n he didn't. n it's really unfortunate. bc it REALLY could've been so much more interesting. n it's a disservice to him to shoehorn him into this silly rival role even post timeskip, after he's matured past the young adult who put so much stock in that image.

re: my specific tags, too, i was trying to say something specific about edelgard n how i think she would've responded to ferdinand if they had been allowed to actually discuss, but my brain is off in genshin land rn n it's been a month or two since i was on the three houses train, so if anyone else sees this post n has these same thoughts/can word them better, please do.

n on a final note, i suppose i can understand how ferdinand was treated if u take cf as a villain route: from that pov, challenges don't mean anything, right? so why even include them. especially considering the uhh. other various things about cf that play into that. but regardless, i still think it's a disservice to ferdinand to discard him completely, even if u are trying to go full blown "propaganda route" lmao. especially bc it's in his nature to challenge edelgard no matter what. ESPECIALLY when he believes she's wrong.

#fe3h #fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #edelgard von hresvelg #ferdinand von aegir #crimson flower

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zirkkun · 3 years

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Yo you have every right to be upset about things! You're still a person with your own feelings and deserve to be treated kindly. No one should come at you for making things you enjoy or for misunderstandings. I hope things get better for you even if I wasn't here for when all the drama happened (or maybe I was and just wasn't aware of it? I tend to avoid drama as much as possible tbh)

I didn't really post about it much. I think I answered about 4 asks about it (three of them in the same post because i was sure it was the same anon due to the similar string of seemingly continued messages) and the rest I just deleted as soon as they came in, but I got... A lot. A lot of mean things said too. Kinda hurts when you wanted to make something because you knew this work was highly criticized and wanted to let people give it a second chance only to be shot down by the people you were hoping to defend lol

In short, and a lot of it I missed because I was blocked by a lot of people so my friend sent me screencaps; someone took I believe only the old ask box post I had for ULR, which at the time was called "Underlust Rewrite," and was disgusted at the fact that everything was revamped and "made for kids" (because it's not 18+ explicit content, but as I've said before, it's just cause I'm too scared to be horny on main, and I've literally made a whole different biological system for ULR so I can write the necessary story ""sex scenes"" without it being human-like sex or otherwise uncomfortable or too explicit for me to draw, but I still consider it a mature story overall), so they blocked me instantly here and on twitter and then made a callout post on twitter itself. People were telling me originally to stop calling the AU Underlust, and I didn't really get it at first, because like, what's the difference between my spinoff and, say, Underlust Gold, Swapfell Indigo, TS!Underswap, you know, names that have add-ons from the original title to differentiate it but still connect it to the source. So that's what I said, as well as if I removed the Underlust name, it would be considered stealing to me, because I'd be disconnecting it from the source. But apparently, instead, what had been the concern was that it was just being called "Underlust" and the "Rewrite" aspect was implying I was replacing the original story, which like, had never been my intention and I've made a bunch of things with both the ULR and UL cast together and love the idea of Lust and Ace meeting up and just being a disaster duo of not working together at all. I just adore Underlust like it's in my pinned FAQ, Lust's been in my banner for months now, and he's practically my staple pfp character on every account but here atm.

It took like 3 days for it to actually click what was going on, because once I finally got the chance to have a conversation with someone where they weren't telling me I was the scum of the Earth -- which, honestly, bless the three people I talked to, they were so sweet (which actually included someone from the Japanese side of the fandom whose art I loved too... yeah it got pretty far. Once I sent them a message though it was cleared up quickly and they did post a clarification post about ULR and me, so that was nice to see.) -- I finally got the chance to realize that this was a misunderstanding from the beginning, from both sides, where people coming at me were saying I was doing all of the stuff above and probably more but those stuck the most, while I was confused as to where this information and accusations were coming from and what they were referring to in the first place. They probably never explained it in the anon asks because, well, they probably assumed I knew what I was doing, but when they came at me about something I didn't do with vague context of something I did do, I was very confused, and got really defensive really quickly, and really honestly snapped pretty hard. After my first initial explanation post and people were still trying to tell me to stop ULR/don't call it Underlust/whatever else there was, I just got tired and told people to block me if they didn't like it. But that didn't really stop anyone and honestly made it worse because that's when I started getting really nasty messages. I like... Specifically remember one where someone called me a lowlife and a thief, and that one stuck the most, but I tended to not read through them before deleting them for my own sanity. I actually did this to one of the people who'd later talked to me calmly about it at first too, because I had just woken up, and really didn't want to read an essay lecture on everything everyone's been telling me at the crack of 7am when I was borderline ready to delete my account and start over lol

Some people I do remember were accusing me of trying to censor nsfw content or erase it as well because ULR isn't 18+, and I'm out here on my horny ass like "wh. What are they talking about, where did you get that idea, have you SEEN my ao3 recommended list," /j but in all seriousness I really didn't understand that accusation at all because I've never been against nsfw content in the slightest and lowkey? This is very dumb -- but like, you know how they say when you get hate mail, you know you've made it? Well, for me, my thought has always been, "When there's 18+ fancontent of my OC's, I'll have finally made it." This is... Not a joke, some of my friends think its very weird LMAO oh well. I've been on the internet for far too long at this point -- like, definitely since I was far too young, probably, and being with a family of the next youngest being 12 years older than me, I really dove into stuff pretty quickly I definitely shouldn't have, but hey that's life -- I'm really unfazed by mostly anything now. Hell, me making ULR was honestly half motivated by me wanting to make others more comfortable with this kind of media, discussing sexuality and otherwise sexual-considered topics, without really being embarrassed or bothered by it. Because, people talk about death and killing and whatever other gorey stuff just fine, but the moment sex comes up, people just gasp in awe, y'know? I kind of grew up that way myself but like... ironically, in being more comfortable with my asexuality, I realized that it's honestly not that big of a deal. Sure, we don't need to hear the details of everything. We don't need to hear the details of a murder either. But I will never understand how murder is always the lowest on the "morally wrong list of things to not to" to so many people and that it's fine to mention, but even consider bringing up anything else and it's like, a sin and you're a bad person. Even racism is like, higher up on there for a lot of people, which it's like... this is an issue that needs to be discussed, or it can never be solved. You can't just kick that away and hope it goes away on its own, that's never how it works.

Ah, well, now I've gone off tangent lol. Sorry to make you read a blob of text lmao but having things in a cohesive format of what I've been thinking does feel a bit better. Thank you for the support regardless, and I do want to keep making what I really enjoy, because frankly, I really want to make things that make people take a step back and think for a moment, y'know? Things that invoke like a realization in yourself about something you didn't even know. That's how fiction's always been for me, so I want to give back by making it that way too. ... maybe my horny content is exempt from this however. That's just. Self indulgence LMAO.

Probably helps that I'm actually talking this all out for once, too, since before any of this I tried to keep as much of the situation contained to myself as possible in hopes I could clean it up before it got too bad. That was, in hindsight, probably a terrible idea lol. But I didn't want to be a source of stress for anyone following me or become the new creator-to-defend that like, 50% of people hate and 50% of people love and that you're either on one side or the other and there's no where in between. (I feel like Arin Hanson comes to mind for me every time I think of someone like this.) I know I can't please everyone and I knew internet hate would come eventually, but like, didn't expect it to be over a name or tag choice. I thought that would be a simple enough DM or clearable thing but apparently not, especially since I saw someone a few weeks ago delete their blog over a similar thing (though, the opposite, in a way: posting nsfw in a sfw tag by mistake). It wasn't in the UT fandom so y'all probably weren't following them (tbf I wasn't either, I just witnessed it happen from start to finish), but it was still disheartening.

Anyway, thank you, and sorry to make ya read all of that (if you actually did vahdbs don't blame you if you don't it's a lot of thought dump lmao)💕💕

#zircon answers #anonymous #all this happened like the DAY i got accepted onto the bhc team to and i was like #alright guys am i being kicked out day one lol #like i was expecting the worst from this whole thing #but im still kind of happy with how i worked it out #i really wish more people were like #willing to talk things out rather than just spit in a general direction and hope youll listen #because like even the people i talked to calmly some of them were pretty rude at first! but!#theyre not bad people #they were just scared for their favorite thing #i cant blame them for that and honestly i do consider the hatred justified under the circumstances that they knew #but they were all really nice after we talked things out #and were like 'i hope your series does well' and that really meant a lot honestly #death mention tw//

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somedrunkpirate · 3 years

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AO3 Writing Tag

Name(s): Somedrunkpirate Fandom(s): The man from uncle, The Witcher, Good Omens, Inception, Where you post: Ao3 Tagged by @iamanonniemouse Tagging: @theheirofashandfire (good luck lmao)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter (by kudos):

This year: A Lover’s Lament, The Witcher, Geralt/Jaskier, M, 25k

So,” Jaskier begins, as casually as he can, “you are telling me, that in theory, if I were to be in love with someone — anyone — that person could well be in terrible danger?”

Of all terrible and ridiculous things that have threatened Geralt’s safety, Jaskier had never thought that loving him might be what will get him killed.

Of all time: Drowning Deep, TMFU (pacific rim au), Illya/Napoleon, M, 101k,

Don’t follow the rabbit. He knows this. Don’t fall into the rabbit hole of memories. You’ll drown.

But Illya lives there, deep in the past, it’s the only way he gets through the day.

Favorite story you’ve written so far:

This year: The Golden Ocean, TMFU, Napoleon/Illya, 85k This story taught me to write for myself in the best and worst way. It is so hard to keep writing a prequel if it doesn’t receive a similar amount of feedback as the initial story. But I worked through it and got it done, for myself and my beta who supported me all throughout. And in the end, it’s probably my most original story I’ve written.

Of all time: A Lover’s Lament, The Witcher, Geralt/Jaskier, M, 25k I think this story really shows how I’ve learned to become a better writer over the last couple of years. It’s densely packed with original lore, worldbuilding, fun character interactions and has a plot that reveals more about the characters on a second read. It also has an original female character that I feel is my first 100% successful 3d side-character who has a whole story of her own outside of the main ship plot. Honorable mention: Cold Frost and Sunshine, TMFU, Napoleon/Illya, 50k What initially started as purposefully the most trophy thing I’ve ever written (it’s a Hockey AU, for crying out loud), turned into an actual honest exploration of therapy and recovering from mental illness. I still get the occasional comment on it from people who said that the mental health parts really spoke to them, or that they even showed passages to Real Actual Therapists because it verbalized what they were feeling. This is the fic I always return to when I feel like my writing is worthless. Even the fic that I intended to have no deep value from the start, ended up being meaningful to people. It helps to remember that.

Fic you were nervous to post:

You’re a dream, darling, is a story where the main character experiences intense dissociation and believes his reality is a dream. I am very aware that this is an actual thing that people experience, and I wanted to make sure I was careful and respectful when handling the topic. I based the story on what I had researched and what I experienced once myself while having a bad reaction to medication + being high (really be careful with weed and adhd meds folks). I was so nervous to post it, and worried that I hadn’t trigger warned it clearly enough or something. But in the end I’ve received a lot of positive feedback from people who experience dissociation, and that meant the world to me!

How do you choose your titles?

Nine times out of ten the title is just kind of There, sometimes before I write it even. If not, I usually take inspiration from a line somewhere in the fic. Only once I needed to consult the poetry gods.

Do you outline?

Does daydreaming the story a bunch count as outlining? I usually have some vague ideas about upcoming scenes and possible endings, but for my larger fics those ideas get thrown out and I flail around for something else. I think Lover’s is so succinct because I had most of it already in my head when starting, whereas with Drowning Deep I had no clue what had actually happened to break the characters apart until like chapter three. So I guess it depends on the fic and whether I have to due to a big bang sign up or something.

Complete

51 fics (556k). This year: 9 (180k)

In-Progress:

The Angel of Greenwich: A good omens detective story set in the 1920′s, 22k. In The Dark We Travel: Geraskier (the witcher) sci fi au, 28k. They’re both on a hiatus because pandemic times are fucking with me, but I’m chipping away at them and could use the encouragement. Coming Soon/Not Yet Started:

Tragic Superbat alternate universe shenanigans: Clark gets switched with Alternate Universe Clark, who has been in a relationship with Bruce for years. Bruce falls in love with AU-Clark while also trying to get his Clark back (who he is convinced still hates him).

Amnesia Jaskier with magical powers: Jaskier gets kidnapped and made into a powerful sorcerer, but the process removes all his memories. Geralt finds him completely dependent on the same mage that kidnapped him, and has to convince him that 1) Geralt is his friend and 2) Jaskier is not a dangerous monster, as the mage has convinced him. Very tragic all around.

Original femslash idea, Stern Orc Woman with golden heart and ADHD Monk. Can only end in chaos.

The Bullington Club: an original idea of a group of idiot lords looking for treasure and taking their longsuffering servants/guards with them on the ride. Aka that thing that completely got out of hand brainstorming with @theheirofashandfire

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hanaasbananas · 3 years

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Fanfic Year in Review 2020

thanks for the tag @2manyfandoms2count! This took me a while to get to but here we are!

Ok I feel like this is just gonna end up being a post where I just gush about Phantoms in the Dark but like...c'mon

This is gonna get long so i've put it under the cut:

1) List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished:

Most of my stories are one shots of varying lengths, but I did actually finish quite a few so we have:

A Chance Encounter and So it Goes- both zenmaster fics for That 70s Show

Touch the Rain: I honestly forget I wrote this last year, it feels like I wrote it years ago but it's just a standard identity reveal in the heat of an argument type thing.

Ladybug Luck? What's That? The fic that really started my spiral into writing for the ML fandom, and the birth of the Bollywood Playlist series.

Post reveal, where they didn't know each other irl, Marinette sees Adrien at a Gabriel party, realises who he is, and does some property damage in the process.

our eyes speak (but on our lips is silence) At a wedding where Adrien is best man and Marinette is a guest they immediately recognise the other as their partner. Pure fluff and giddiness ensue

The Seduction of Marinette Dupain-Cheng Post reveal-Chat bets Ladybug that he can woo her as a civilian, employing good old fashioned tactics like flowers and poetry

Pink Snapshots of an Adrinette relationship. I just wanted to see if I could write an entire fic with no dialogue whatsoever, and this one got a huge surge in popularity recently so...guess I can!

Exposed Another fic where they don't know each other as civilians. When their identities are revealed in the worst possible way, Ladybug and Chat Noir hide out in a hotel room as they try to process the situation.

This Red Love My first enemies au! In which Adrien joins Hawkmoth from the beginning, but still goes to school and ends up dating Marinette. When he realises who she is, he has to re-examine everything he thought he ever wanted.

i have found someone (like a nomad finds a home) In the last one, Adrien willingly sided with Gabriel, but in this one, he is forced to after Stoneheart. Years later, he meets Marinette, who makes him feel like he isn't a monster.

Memory Chat Blanc in the aftermath when there is nothing left.

Phantoms in the Dark My biggest accomplishment last year! And the longest story I've ever written at 30k words. A historical marichat story based off my favourite poem The Highwayman by Alfred Noyes. I'm currently working on the sequel.

I only bow down to worship (but I come to a stop when I see you) In which Adrien knows Marinette is Ladybug, and she knows he knows. However, he hasn't told her he's Chat Noir. This is just cute relationship stuff in the same vein as Pink

Collect your Courage, Loyalty, I'll never be the thief (to bring in hot scattered hell) Thought I'd branch out to other fandoms and landed on ATLA. This is a series (eventual zutara) where Zuko realises almost immediately post banishment that he can't follow in his father's footsteps and rebels.

Dancing Lessons Chat Noir and Ladybug decided to reveal their identities at age 20, and now Chat has chosen the venue as well. The only problem is he needs to teach Ladybug how to dance first.

Wish Ok I hurt a lot of people with this one but it's one where in the final fight, Adrien is mortally wounded and Marinette uses the miraculous to save his life, forfeiting her life in the process.Flashes back and forth between her death and how Adrien is coping in the aftermath.

2) Number of words written: 79663. I actually wanted to hit 100k by the end of the year but as those in the guild know, I spent most of December doing kitchen renovations and being pissed about my lack of free time lmao

3) Your most popular fic: Phantoms in the Dark. it has yet to surpass my all time most popular fic it's all a game of chance (they say in wonderland), but it's catching up

4) Your personal fav: Dancing Lessons I wrote this way back in July last year but only posted it in December and I just, it's so sweet I really like it with the flirty banter and just the two of them being SO CUTE

5) Your fav scene: The scene at the end of ch6 of Phantoms where Marinette and Chat talk after their kiss and realise they both are very much into each other.

6) A fic or scene that challenged you:

I am really bad at action sequences, and even though in Phantoms Adrien was out fighting people on the regular, I just sort of...glossed over them. Except for in chapter 8, where I wrote a proper duel between Chat and someone he was robbing.

What I struggled with was describing the movements, not wanting to make it too complicated whilst not having it be 'he feinted and stabbed' or something really simplistic. There was a lot of pen acting involved, but I think the end result is quite good, if I do say so myself.

7) A line of writing you’re proud of: From Phantoms (of course)

In every lifetime, in every land, we shall find each other.

8) A comment that touched you:

I love every single comment that I get, but someone left this on my musketeers fic Going Through the Motions (posted as a series on ao3 to motivate me to finish the fic but when it was done I compiled all the parts and posted it on ffnet as a oneshot lol and one of my absolute fave fics I've written-no surprise that it's historical 😅) on ffnet, which was a HUGE compliment:

"I like the way you wove dialogue from the series with your fiction. Your story gives us a more complete picture of Bonacieux and explains why Constance rejected D'Artagnan, which we did not get from the series. Your version is better. Well done!"

9) Something that inspired your writing:

I mean...I have an entire series on ao3 that is just fics inspired by bollywood songs/scenes-and those were my main inspiration for so many things. (I actually realised the other day that a scene from the movie Kalank is what inspired me to write Wonderland lmao)

10) Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

Honestly, just writing consistently! I graduated in 2019 and in the past, I've started and abandoned so many projects and ideas, and even the first fic I posted on ao3-it took me a year to get the second chapter up and then I only finished it because I wanted to post other stuff but didn't feel like I could until I finished that one lol.

So yeah, that, and of course, actually writing and finishing Phantoms instead of abandoning it like so many of my other ambitious projects. I'm really proud of the 30k I wrote for that story because it's the most I've ever written for a single thing

11) Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

I want to finish Forgotten Promises, and the third story in the series. I have the vague plot for that one, and know what's going in the epilogue to end the series but I just need to get there.

Oh! and see 100 ways to say I love you to the end.

This was fun! I tag @theanxiouscupcake @an-elysian-tree @quarantined-fics and anyone else who wants to have a go!

#will i ever shut up about phantoms in the dark?#no. the answer is no.#lol but honestly this was fun i didn't even realise how many fics i wrote last year #my posts #ask game #writing #fanfiction #miraculous ladybug #atla #marichat #adrinette #ladynoir #2020 year in review

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angelicmichael · 4 years

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Is This Love?

Xavier Plympton x serial killer! reader

Summary: Reader is looking for her next victim but stumbles across Xavier, which changes everything.

Warnings: Smoking weed, not a lot of violence but it definetly talks about death and killing A LOT like not really in detail but just be careful when reading, no smut but a extremly steamy makeout scene happens, and sex is also mentioned I think once but it’s kept pretty vague.

Words: 5.5k+

A/N: First of all, sorry this is so fucking long lmao also I’m sorry this took me so long to write!! This fic was heavily inspired by the songs ‘Is this love’? By whitesnake and the music video ‘Your Body’ by Christina Aguilera. I love true crime so trying to write from a serial killers perspective was actually pretty hard but fun!! This fic was originally ALOT darker but I basically turned it to be really fluffy instead and I added some humor so enjoy :) please let me know if you wanna be on my tag list!!! This fic is also about to be posted on my AO3 if y’all are interested. Okay bye ♥️

Next Chapter

You had a itch but it wasn’t the kind that could be relieved by scratching. It more of a urge, a need, something you had to do..

You needed to kill.

And it had to be soon. This urge, this feeling wasn’t anything new to you. Ever since your last kill which was about a month ago, you could feel the urge building up stronger and stronger until now.. and you couldn’t suppress this urge any longer without literally losing your mind.

However you couldn’t just kill anyone. You needed the perfect victim, someone who was beautiful. Someone who had facial features that looked like they hand carved by god himself. Your victim also couldn’t be a random lowlife nobody. That would never do. That was the thrill of it for you, it had to be a risk - someone who would be missed if they were gone. You knew it was risky but you didn’t care - easy victims were boring. Simple as that.

However, today you had signed yourself up for a jazzercise class to of course work on your figure but more importantly to find your next victim. It’s not like you were gonna find your next target at a grocery store, and you didn’t want to make the mistake of killing a celebrity. Celebrities seemed to infest California like god damn cockroaches, and you knew if you killed one there would be a man hunt for you. That would also be a easy way to get on the FBIs most wanted list.. no thank you.

So that’s why you were here you were for another jazzercise class.

They were perfect for victim hunting, you had spotted many of your precious victims through jazzercise classes. You knew you were a couple minutes late for today’s class but you wouldn’t let that stop you - if anything it was good because it would draw attention to yourself and let your potential victims notice you first.

You quickly paced into the building and it was easy to tell the class had already started. You could hear the music blaring from outside, that grew increasingly louder as you approached the room. You wore your hair down - dancing with your hair down made it about 100x easier to seduce just about anyone you set your eyes on. You also sported a extra tight outfit that showed off all the right parts of your body.. You were going to find your dream victim today. You just knew it.

You carelessly threw your bag you carried with you outside of the dance room before entering, you were already pretty fucking late. You really didn’t have any time to spare to drop it off at the locker room, and plus, you were always here taking various dance classes here so it’s not like the workers didn’t know you. You ripped open the door that lead into the room where your class would be held and quickly threw yourself into the room.

“Sorry”!

You half whispered as you nearly ran past the instructor and found a empty spot in the room. When you turned around you noticed the instructor gave you a quick wink and you couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous he was. He had frizzy blond hair, eyes so blue you could nearly drown in them and a beyond perfect body. He looked like a fucking ken doll. You knew it right then, he had to be yours. He was perfect.. too perfect.

You could barely contain yourself from grinning or jumping with joy at being able to locate your next victim so easily but you instead channeled your energy into your dance moves. Even if you couldn’t talk to him quite yet, you might as well impress him with your moves.. right?

It must’ve been working because throughout the entire class Xavier kept his eyes mostly on you, in fact it was a wonder if he looked anywhere else in the room.

Even though you were covered in sweat by the time the class was over, and in a desperate need of a shower, you still made sure you were the last one in the room.. And finding ways to stall and not look suspicious was embarrassingly difficult.

You left your bag outside of the room so the only thing you could do was drink your water painfully slow and look busy..

You were so preoccupied with trying to keep the illusion up of looking busy that you didn’t even notice that everyone else besides you had filed out of the room. You also didn’t notice that your hottie instructor was approaching you until you felt a light hand on your shoulder..

You jumped about a foot in the air - effectively spilling all of the water from your water bottle onto you. You let out a sharp screech as well.. and immeaditly felt the embarrassment start to course through your body as if someone injected you with some kind of ‘instant embarrassment iv’ or some shit. You felt the blood start to rush to your cheeks as you could only think of how stupid you probably looked.. your body was starting to sweat again as well, you didn’t even know you had anymore sweat left in you after that class.

‘So much for catching the perfect victim’.

You thought cynically. You could feel the frustration starting to manifest inside you as well, frustration from the lack of killing and the fact that you were now soaking wet. And cold, very fucking cold.

You kind of just stood there as you threw your (plastic) water bottle onto the ground and glared at the man who was in front of you.

“I am so sorry, are you okay”?

He asked. The ruthless and stoic expression you wore seemed to melt away quickly after you heard his words and even looked at his face. His words and concern seemed so genuine, you couldn’t help but feel bad for even glaring at the poor guy about two seconds ago. Even just by looking at him, you could tell he actually felt bad for what had happened. However, no sweet he looked, the frustration and the lust that you still felt to claim another life still lingered within you.

You also couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous he was up close. Typically people who looked beautiful from far away showed some flaws when they were looked at up close but you swear this man had absolutely no flaws. His skin was perfect, his hair, his eyes - and his lips looked so deliciously soft. How was this man even real?

You blinked a couple times and licked your lips as you realized that he was still waiting for a reply from you. Duh.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I could use a towel though”.

You giggled as you looked back down at your wet clothes and your wet self with shame.

“Oh yeah, of course! Towels are back here”.

He led you out of the dance studio and across the building, it wasn’t too far of a walk. On the walk over to get towels you two ran into a couple of people he knew, you assumed his close friends or maybe coworkers? It was hard to tell at a first glance. You didn’t stop to talk but just wave.. and you assumed they were his close friends by how they were all looking at you. They all seemed to look you up and down and one even gave you a wink. You assumed that this guy didn’t talk to many women.. and maybe this was why his friends seemed so excited to see you with him? Oh fuck, could he be gay?

Oh fuck.

You knew this whole thing was too good to be true. You would still be able to kill him if he was gay of course, being gay did not give someone a out of jail free card when it came to being murdered but seduction would be out of the equation for sure - and the whole act of seducing your victims before death was your favorite part.

Typically what you did to your victims was lead them on and make them think you were going to have sex with them - and then right before either of you would take your clothes off you would slit their throat with the knife you kept on you. That same knife was even in your bag right now but if this guy was really gay, your previous plan to end this guy would be a no go. You would have to get creative with this one.. or just give up entirely.

You were brought back into reality when you realized he was trying to lead you into a locker room, a men’s locker room to be specific. He stood in the doorway, gesturing for you to come inside but you hesitated. You bit your lip and contamplaited.. a quick look over your shoulder showed you that his friend group was nowhere in sight and either was anyone else really. No one would see you.

You grinned as you quickly turned your attention back to the man in front of you and followed him inside the locker room. You quickly observed that the locker room was completely vacant execpt for you two, thank god.

“So do I get to know your name”?

You said, still keeping a sweet smile on your face.

“Only if I get to know yours”.

He said, also sporting a small smile as he tossed you a cream colored towel that you catched.

“(y/n)”.

You replied.

“Xavier”.

“Makes sense that someone as pretty as you would have a pretty name to match”.

You said with a smirk, and you noticed how Xavier softly laughed and how his cheeks dusted a light pink color. He almost looked like he was embarrassed, it was fucking adorable really. You did a quick double take around the room to make sure you two were truly alone before you made your next move.

“There’s no cameras in here right”?

You asked, your fingers delicately holding the hem of your shirt. Xavier took a couple steps toward you, getting closer.

“No. There’s not babe”.

He said, he seemed to be studying you now - waiting for your next move. Maybe you were just imagining it but you swear you could just see a glint of lust in his eyes. You figured the fastest way to see if he was really gay or not would be to take your shirt off - his reaction would quickly tell you.

You took your other hand and hooked your fingers under your wet shirt and quickly pulled it off in one quick swipe, leaving you exposed in your bra. You dropped your shirt behind you on the floor, the wet noise it made as it hit the floor seemed to echo throughout the bare locker room. You gently put the towel Xavier gave you on the bench that was right next to you, judging by where things were going - you wouldn’t need the towel anymore.

“If I knew you were gonna take me here I wouldn’t have asked you for a towel, you know”.

You said, nearly whispering because he was so close now. You took a step closer to him, your faces only a couple inches a part now. You left your lips parted and you looked into his eyes.. and that was a fucking mistake. All of the common sense you were holding onto left and all thoughts you previously had seemed to thin out and dissolve into nothing.

You could taste his breath now he was so close. All it took was for him to put his hands on your waist and you gave in. You closed the distance that kept you two apart and you kissed him. Hard.

This was breaking one of your major rules that you kept for yourself as a serial killer. You tried to always make your victim make the first move - to kiss you first. This seemed to keep them on their toes and wanting more, and it kept you in control. However, being here with Xavier, all senseable thoughts you once had were long fucking gone. Right now, you didn’t care about anything else execpt for kissing him. Everything else seemed irrelevant, you just wanted to live in this moment forever.

The kiss started off sweet but it continued to grow more heated as you kissed him harder and harder. Your hands wasted no time in finding his shoulders as your nails started to dig into his skin. You impatiently bit his lower lip - wanting more.

You felt Xavier softly break away from you, but he didn’t move away too far from you, his face moved over to whisper in your ear,

“Jump”.

You instantly jumped and you felt him catch your legs, essentially holding you up as he continued to keep kissing you. You felt him take a couple steps and in this moment you didn’t care where he was even going too - you just.. felt different. Maybe it was a new emotion, but you felt peaceful for once in your life. And it felt way too fucking good to let go of. Not to mention you were beyond happy he wasn’t gay like how you suspected.. but it wasn’t your fault that you knew zero straight guys that instructeted jazzercise classes or wore short shorts and actually looked good doing it.

However.. You also felt something else and that was unprepared. It was clear to see where this makeout sesh was really headed too and your knife which was in your bag, was no where near you. In fact you had no fucking clue where it was which meant you couldn’t kill him now, you would have to ask him out.

You felt Xavier gently put you down on the ground, you could feel the rough surface of lockers poking up against your back. You were on the verge of mentioning how uncomfterable you were when you heard a deafening loud creak echo throughout the locker room. Someone was opening the fucking locker room door. Fuck!

You felt a jolt of anxiety run through you like electricity as you two instantly seperated, and tried to look as innocent as possible. You wiped your mouth and you and Xavier both stood up before you actually bothered to look who came into the locker room in the first place.

“Hey love birds”!

You heard a chirp, female

Voice. You couldn’t help but laugh- was it common for girls to just waltz in the men’s locker room? When she walked forward and came into view, You easily recognized her as one of the people from Xaviers friend group that was waving at you two ealier... In fact, she was the one who winked at you ealier as well.

“Nice to see you too ‘Tana”.

Xavier grumbled back, after he swiftly rolled his eyes. You assumed ‘Tana was short for Montana and she certainly looked like a interesting character.. espically if she frequently went into men’s restrooms. Her hair was a white bleached blonde - so bleached that her hair looked entirely stripped and dryer than the god damn Sahara desert. She had heavy blue eyeshadow on her eyelids and you couldn’t help but admire that she atleast tried to put a effort in her appearance.

Montana stood right next to Xavier and it was obvious to tell by the looks they exchanged that she wanted to talk to him - alone. She awkwardly shifted glances between you and Xavier and you bit your tongue, the realization hitting you like a freight train - what if this was his fucking girlfriend? Normally with victims you didn’t have to jump through so many hoops but Xavier was different. Something about him was very different from the rest of your victims but you were still trying to put your finger on exactly why. You cleared your throat and figured before you left like they wanted you too, you should atleast introduce yourself.

“Hi, I’m (y/n)”.

You said, sporting a smile as you took a step forward toward Montana to shake her hand. She took it and shook it a bit too roughly and spotted a grin that would even make the Cheshire Cat jealous.

“I’m Montana! It’s nice to finally know the name of one Xavier’s girlfriends”.

She said with a excited look on her face. You quickly opened your mouth to speak - this girl was pretty straight forward wasn’t she? Atleast you knew she wasn’t dating Xavier.

“Oh - im not his girlfriend, we actually just met but you know.. I wouldn’t mind changing that”.

You said, adding a playful wink and biting your lip while staring instensily at Xavier. You knew you were being incredibly straight forward as well but at this point you didnt care, you just wanted to see him again.

Xavier finally stopped looking at Montana and met your gaze as he took a couple steps toward you.

“Me too, babe. My place tonight at six? I’ll pick you up”.

Xavier said and you quickly gave him your address and awkwardly left the locker room with Montana’s stare burning holes through your back. Maybe she was just jealous?

It didn’t matter, after tonight Xavier wouldn’t exsist anyway so who even cared what this supposed friend of his thought of you... but. Something weird was happening to you. The thought of actually killing again made you happy - yes. Just the act of taking another’s life and seeing them suffer but having it be Xavier? You barely knew the guy but it almost made you sad to not be able to see him again after tonight. He really did seem like a sweet guy with good intentions but that never seemed to stop you before.

You went back to the lobby and quickly picked up your bag that you had left there (albeit carelessly) and you figured tonight you would bring your knife just in case. You had a feeling that you wouldn’t be able to kill him tonight - the vibe felt off. Plus, since when had you been on a actual date that didn’t involve murder at the end?? The answer was never. You deserved to have a nice date, with a pretty person. Murder could wait until tommorow.

Montana and Xavier both stared at

you as you passed them, and watched as you left the locker room. However, they both held their breath until the locker room door completely shut close. Montana snapped her head forward once the door shut and decided to be the one who first spoke.

“Xavier, that person is not to be trusted”.

Montana took a couple steps toward him as she spoke. Xavier immeaditly furrowed his eyebrows in a look of confusion, he could feel himself automatically getting defensive. He loved Montana (as a friend of course) but he swore Montana took that love in a different way.. And this made it obvious. He just met you, why was Montana already investigating into you and making wild accusations? This made no sense unless perhaps Montana had feelings again for Xavier.

However Xavier merely crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head.

“That’s funny coming from you”.

However, Montana didn’t laugh or even smile. She continued to look completely serious, as she spoke.

“I’m not kidding. I don’t care if shes pretty or a good kisser or whatever the hell. You need to promise me you won’t see them tonight like you said”.

Her voice first started out as harsh and then grew soft and almost vulnerable.

Xavier shifted in place and nervously licked his lips.

“Montana what the hell. I’m not just gonna blindly follow what you say”.

Xavier said, his words spitting venom as he spoke. At this point he really didn’t care if he was coming out as harsh - Montana had a boyfriend.. why couldn’t she just leave Xavier alone with this new girl he just met?

Montana stepped closer to Xavier and put both of her hands of his shoulders and looked him dead in the eye as she spoke.

“You need to listen to me Xavier or your going to get yourself killed”.

Montana’s cherry red lips turned into a snarl.

“I saw their bag in the lobby and there was a knife in it. It was a fucking big knife Xav, no one just carries a knife like that”.

Montana added but Xavier was still in denial. Xavier looked at the ground as he slightly paced back and forth in place.

“How big of a knife”?

Xavier asked quietly.

“Its a fucking butchers knife. I wouldn’t be worried if it was a pocket knife, Xavier”!

Montana replied and Xavier kind of froze. He didn’t know how to react, he knew all of the men that had gone missing as of lately. And he also knew that they were all around the same age and had the same appearance that he had. Could he really be the next victim? He felt tears start to prick at his eyes, there was no way. This girl he had met ealier was so sweet, just because she had a knife didn’t mean she was a fucking killer.. right?

All that Xavier could think to do in response to this was to look up at Montana sadly.

“Why were you going through their bag in the first place”?

Xavier asked, his voice coming out as jagged and rough with emotion. However, Montana still continued to act stoic as she nearly yelled at him.

“You nearly hooked up with a fucking serial killer and your concerned about my priorities? Dude, you need to promise me you won’t see them again”.

Xavier stared at Montana blankly. It was obvious what this was about, he knew Montana really found no knife and he also knew Montana made up this whole story because she was jealous. That was it. Montana just didn’t wanna see Xavier with anyone else, that was the bottom line.. Xavier rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, Montana. I have another class to get too”.

He could hear Montana protesting and yelling his name as he walked past her but he didn’t care anymore. He was determined - he was going to meet you tonight at six, whether it killed him or not.

He had to admit to himself though, even though he was excited to see you again a part of him dreaded it. He knew there was a small chance that Montana could be right - and what if she was?

Even though Xavier knew he was in pretty good shape he knew his muscles magically became useless when it came to self defense. He was shit at self defense honestly. He was good at archery but he didn’t own a fucking bow and arrow.

He made a mental note to pick up a pocket knife before coming to pick you up. If you really were a fucking killer a pocket knife wasn’t going to stop you but it was sure better than nothing.

Six O’ Clock came and went and Xavier picked you up in the glamourus Vanta-C. Being in a van that smelled heavily of weed and nothing else wasn’t too exciting but somehow Xavier made it fun, like how he did with everything it seemed like.

He had a sort of magic about him, the type of magic that made you actually start to feel things for once - feel different emotions that you had never felt before. Like would you even dare say it, love? Well, maybe love was a bit of a exaggeration - you just met the guy after all - but, you had no idea honestly.. you had nothing else to base this off of, you’ve never really had a crush or romantic interest on anyone before ever. The interest you’ve had in your other previous victims was always based off of looks - it was the thrill of the chase that appealed to you more than anything. However, you couldn’t say that about Xavier. After meeting him ealier - you were dying to get to know him better so that you could probably fall in love with him, if you were even capable of doing that.

Maybe it was foolish to assume that Xavier would be taking you back to his apartment, or house, or wherever the hell he lived but he didn’t. You two stayed in the Vanta-C which he drove and parked it in a park that was a couple blocks or so away from where you resided.

It took you two a while to decide on a decent place to park the car and go to - at first it was a matter of where to go. Whether to go and get food, or head over to someone’s place or just stay in the Vanta and obviously the last option won.

You had to admit the scene you two were in was starting to get rather romantic - not that you experienced this type of feeling before but rather You based this feeling off of movies and other various entertainment you’ve watched; this is what romance seemed like to you.

The sun was just starting to set; painting the sky a various different tones of purples, blues and pinks as the sun started to dip further and further into the tree line. You and Xavier both ditched the front and the passenger seat and both camped out in the very back of the van - where the seat was really more of a glorified couch than a actual seat.

The windows were all shut and so were the doors, essentially so that you two could hotbox. You never thought that a pretty boy like Xav would smoke weed, but you also thought he was gay at first so - you found it best not to assume anything about him anymore.

There was plenty of room left on the back seat but you and Xavier chose to sit incredibly close to eachother. You sat side by side and your shoulder and arms touched but you didn’t mind of course. The closer the better.

Your bag was pooled near your feet, near the door which was away from Xavier. Sure enough, the knife was inside but it was hidden under a couple of other objects that you kept in your bag. The longer you spent with him, the more you were regretting bringing the knife in the first place.. because it was making you fucking neurotic. When he first picked you up, all you could think about and focus on was that god damn knife and how it would end up slitting Xavier’s throat by the end of the night. However, you seemed to be more relaxed the longer you were around him. It was hard to tell whether it was just the vibes he gave off or the weed that relaxed you so much; maybe both.

By now, the thoughts of killing and that stupid knife had become lost and put somewhere far off in your brain - somewhere you couldn’t access when you were high. You barely even noticed you were Intensely staring down your bag until you felt a soft hand gently rub down your arm.

“Hey babe, are you okay”?

You looked back up at Xavier to only see him wearing a puzzled expression of his face - which looked adorable with his blue puppy dog eyes. You also noticed in his other hand (that wasn’t still on your arm) was the blunt you two were smoking - oops.

“Yeah, I’m okay”.

You replied, your voice small and rather quiet. You took the blunt from Xavier and took a deep hit, and sat with the smoke in your lungs for a couple seconds. It wasn’t until you felt the smoke burning and eating away at your lungs and throat was when you exhaled. You exhaled slowly, dreamily watching the smoke cloud up the Vanta-C even more so than it already was.

Before you even knew it, or consciously decided to - you heard yourself talking.

“Actually, no. I’m not okay.. I have something to tell you”.

You swallowed and took one last quick hit before handing the blunt back to your new lover and looking him in the eyes. You saw something in his eyes that was new to you - was it fear? Why he was he scared?? It was only a glimmer of fear that you caught in his eyes but still - it defintly threw you off guard. You just saw his lips part like he was about to say something when you quickly spoke first.

“Xavier, I’m crazy about you”.

You blurted out, with a embarrassing giggle. You blamed being incredibly straight forward on the weed, of course you would never be like this if you were sober. Never.

Your lips closed into a closed mouth smile, you had more to say but you figured to wait for some kind of reaction from Xavier first. The glimmer of fear you saw in his eye ealier seemed to morph into confusion, disbelief, and then happiness. Pure happiness.

“What”?

He laughed.

“You heard me! I know I just met you, but Xav’ I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.. and I mean it”.

Xavier gently placed his hands on your face - on both of your cheeks - before deeply kissing you. You placed your hands on his chest which effectively made him start to lay down while you gently maneuvered your way on top of him so that you two would be laying down on the long back seat of his van.

You moved your leg up to straddle him when you felt your foot snag on something. At first you merely tried to pull it away free but to no avail. Xavier broke away from you since he could feel you moving your leg vigorously and you managed to get your leg free with one big final yank of your leg.

You snapped your head to see what the fuck dared make this gorgeous man stop kissing you when your heart stopped - it was your bag. You must’ve hooked your foot around your bag and when you freed your foot you managed to topple the bag and spill out all of the contents... which meant your butchers knife was on full fucking display for Xavier to see.

FUCK.

You felt your breath stop as the world seemed to come to a stand still. You felt frozen, bewildered and caught off guard but you definetly didn’t feel scared. You moved your leg over awkwardly to straddle him but the vibe had defintly changed. The romantic vibes that seemed in the air ealier had been swept clean and nearly were completly gone. You decided to try and save your ass and be the first to speak.

“Xavier I-“

“Get off of me”.

He spoke softly and his voice was lowered. You took a deep breath as you awkwardly climbed off of him and you two sat in the position that you two were in ealier - side by side execpt you two were farther apart this time.

You tried again to explain yourself but Xavier spoke first.

“What the hell is this? W-why did you bring that knife”?

You noted how his eyes started to have tears building up in them. You absentmindedly moved the knife back into your bag with your foot and noticed how badly Xavier flinched away from you when you did so. Your turned your focus back to Xavier.

“Look, I know it looks bad but I just keep it on me for self defense. You know, with the night stalker and all”?

You said, with a slight giggle. Instantly, the tension that built up was broken and it was almost like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. He laughed and he scooted up the seat to get closer to you - stepping on all of items from your bag that were still on the ground but you didn’t really care. You were just happy you were able to pull off that lie and convince him you were someone else you really weren’t.

A thought crossed the back of your mind of how easy it would really be to just reach down and grab the knife and easily slit his throat. It would be almost too easy, but no.

As Xavier pulled you into his arms and you layed down into the rough fabric of the back seat, you felt safe (which was incredibly ironic). You felt at home, and in love.

As you turned your head to continue where you two had left off at the locker room, you couldn’t help but hazily day dream about tommorow.

Just because Xavier’s life was spared didn’t mean your thirst or your itch to take another’s life was gone.. it just meant it would have to wait until tommorow.

Taglist: @guiltyfiend

#xavier x reader #fic #my works #my fic #ahs #1984 #xavier plympton x reader #is this love?

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laufire · 3 years

Note

Megstiel for the ask thing!

when of if I started shipping it: well, technically, since I decided to watch 15x13 months ago (before starting to see the show in its entirety; previously, I had only watched parts of s3-4)... since then lol. That moment where he’s initially so happy to see her until he realizes it’s the Empty impersonating her. It clicked for me; a quick search for content lead me to gifsets that made me like them more... and then 5x10 happened and I was ALL IN.

my thoughts: as annoying as the tag invasion is... it tickles my pickle that despite the comparatively minor content they’re one of those ships capable of causing trouble in a fandom lmfao. It pleases me xD (no matter what anyone says, ships with bad content don’t cause antis to insist, years after it’s over, on repeating over and over how platonic they were, sns xDD).

What makes me happy about them: each bit of content is A++ but the s7 mini-arc (which I just finished) is pure perfection. Castiel’s fixation is adorbs.

What makes me sad about them: they had so little time :(((

things done in fanfic that annoys me: as a multishipper (but primary Megstiel shipper), I feel I’m bound to be annoyed by a lot of what this fandom does fic-wise lmao, but I have yet to read a fic including Meg (both because I haven’t finished her arc and as a defense mechanism lol). For one, I’d be annoyed by anything that dismissed their dynamic or demonized (no pun intended) Meg.

things I look for in fanfic: I could be interesting in canon-divergence AUs where she doesn’t die/is brought back and they get to explore their relationship. OR pre-s5/even pre-s4 or earlier AUs (different first meeting is one of my favourite tropes ever).

My kinks: they already have fire kink, sort-of blade kink (nurse kink, but I’m not at all into that although I respect they are lmao)... also imo they’re a dom/masochist-switch-that-thought-she-was-a-dom pair, which can have interesting results xDD.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I don’t really ship Meg with anyone else, not in “happy ending” capacity (and really only in ot3s with Castiel), so. For Castiel, my runner-up ships for which I actually see a possibility of a happy ending are with Bela (crackship I stumbled into lmfao) and Sam (I have Complicated Feelings about Destiel but none of them involves the possibility of ending up together tbh xD).

My happily ever after for them: listen, I’m not even half-way there and I already have a more-than-vague post-series idea about Castiel searching for Meg in the Empty, Orpheus and Eurydice style xDD (not even my only wip idea that includes a happy ending).

#casa neurotica #replies #talking to the void #my thoughts #spn thoughts #supernatural #megstiel #castiel #meg masters #meg 2.0 #favourites: my foe beheld it shine #ty!

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smallblueandloud · 4 years

Note

Hey! I know it’s probably been a while since you’ve posted about this, but I’m doing a tww rewatch and just read your sens8 fic. I have been on my ADHD Josh bullshit since like 2014 and you’re like one of the first people I’ve seen talking about it! Do you have any other adhd josh headcanons/fics you could share? I am always desperate for content! (Also Autistic Toby is So Important to me but that’s another story). Sorry for the ramble haha :) Thanks!!!

hi!!! i didn’t know other people had this headcanon so i’m VERY EXCITED to meet you!! it’s one of my best beloved headcanons i just love josh so MUCH and i relate to him even MORE so i’m always happy to talk about it lmao.

i have not found any more fics with this concept, but tbf i didn’t actually... go and read much tww fic when i finished the series? i have to get back to that, oops. but anyway. i have a tag about it and i should probably write some more tww fic, at some point, but that is a problem for Hyperfixated Me lol.

(also i have never seen that toby headcanon and now i’m just :eye emoji: :eye emoji: :eye emoji:. do you have any more details on that???? do you want to send me any more details on that????? because i am VERY interested)

anyway! since i am so excited about this and i have absolutely no fic to offer (i’m very sorry about that) here are some headcanons:

one of the things josh struggles most with is rejection sensitive disorder. the idea that he’s disappointing ANYONE, EVER kills him to think about. especially leo. ESPECIALLY leo. and that’s basically canon

he’s pretty good about eating food he doesn’t like as long as he’s focused on something else, but as soon as he looks down and realizes what he’s eating, it’ll gross him out unless it’s a sandwich or another Safe Food

he stims very twitchily. he taps, rocks, and throws things into the air. i know i said this before but i’m so RIGHT about it: he definitely has broken at least one snowglobe by tossing it up and missing it on the way down. i love him so much

he hyperfixates on work and will look up to realize that it’s 8 pm and he only ate dinner because donna left a sandwich on his desk

An Icon Of Visual Exhaustion

he leaves papers on his desk instead of filing them so he won’t forget to look at them, then forgets they’re there and puts more papers on top of those, and then it’s six months later and he has seven layers of papers over every surface in his office

he doesn’t listen to music very often because he Cannot Concentrate when it’s playing. if you walk into his office and music is playing, he’s either taking a break or having a crisis

on the other hand, he’s REALLY good (bad?) at tuning people out when they talk to him. (it’s bad, it’s really bad)

has meltdowns - notables include that one in the oval office right after gaza and his freakout at the wedding with leo in s7

he just feels So Strongly about everything, All The Time, and most of his life has been trying to be Chill about it

josh, upset about a news story that was on the 17th page of the nyt: AND ANOTHER THING-!

sam: josh i love you but we’re at a bar to, y’know, have fun? outside of WORK?

he’ll eat sweet things, all the time. they Help Him Think, okay? on the other hand donna stops giving him coffee after s1 because it just makes him jittery and even MORE upset about [gestures vaguely] EVERYTHING

can write five memos in five minutes, but is entirely incapable of getting up and closing the open door that’s been bothering him for two hours.

he’s actually really good at telling who’s walking outside his office based on the length of their stride. it’s kind of terrifying for everyone else, especially considering how hard it is to hear ANYTHING through his door

(the door thing is kind of on purpose. he thought the silence would help him focus. it’s hit-or-miss, tbh)

#adhd josh lyman #the west wing #tww headcanons #josh lyman #neurodiverent characters #sb and l rambles #sb and l answers #anonymous #(thank you to nonnie for looking this over <3)#this was SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE thank you anon for the ask!!!

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jackrrabbit · 4 years

Text

ask answering/updates

first of all, thank you 💘 second of all...

ok ok ok don’t get too excited, but I finally got the juice to start working on the next part of Fanatic 🖤 most of you guys will be like ‘who cares’ but i know some of you have been waiting for this for a while! it’s been what, 2 months?? hope I’m not jinxing myself by saying this *knocks on wood* also not to hype myself too much but it’s kinda bomb 😳 maybe this is just my sick bias but I’ve really been wanting to write about...aftermath iykwim haha. reader all scared & shy & trying to avoid him but yk he’s not going to leave her alone :P

I also figured out the ending to it will come back!! it wouldn’t be shiggy if it didn’t get dangerous 😈 also gonna be nice to write some eyes-rolling-back-in-the-head fuckery so our favorite handsy creep can finally get his dick wet with his beloved little nursey <3

here are some other vague ideas, some based on requests, some not. as always no promises!!

BNHA—pillage & plunder with fantasy AU warlord Bakugo (and his gang of ruffians?? hmm...)

BNHA—Overhaul makes you work off your daddy’s gambling debts the extra hard way uwu...also I have SO many ideas for Overhaul 😷 after I finish iwcb my next multi-part fic will probably be with him

BNHA—various things with reader as an aspiring villain set in the same universe as Caught in the Act: reader getting quarantined with shiggy & dabi...dabi getting mad at you after you keep fucking up...incel shiggy jacking it to his adorable protégée without her knowledge (a galaxy brain request from a very good buddy!!!!)

BNHA—ABO with alpha Hawks and omega reader in an elevator...and uh-oh, it’s stuck! and you’re going into heat! oh no, whatever will you do??

Haikyuu—you get stuck in a hole in a wall, good thing your dutiful boyfriend Kuroo is there to help you out ;)

Haikyuu—gangbang with Tsukki, Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kuroo...a challenge bc I’ve never written a gangbang before!! will have to do some research 🧐

Haikyuu—your bf Atsumu does mean things when he’s jealous, like putting his hands up your skirt in public

KNY—Kokushibou decides to keep a shrine maiden as his cute little human pet 💜 actually already wrote pt. 1 but I’ll wait to post til I’m done with Fanatic

AxK—just some no good very bad yandere content with Dr. Midori...neglect play stuff...sensory deprivation stuff...icky icky

Gintama—something with Kamui. does this count as monsterfucking? very very rough...idk what exactly? some form of dastardly acts

thanks for the concern friends 💕💕 I’ve been preoccupied by things happening irl for the past few weeks, trying to educate myself, going to protests, etc.

also in case anyone else is confused, my stance is and always has been that Black lives matter and all cops are bastards. I’m not sure my porn blog is the right place to talk about this at length but if you’re a bootlicker, please smash that unfollow button and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. if you don’t already have a decently functioning moral compass you should not get anywhere near my writing...fr

learn more and get involved

omg thank you & yes yes a million times yes!!! hope you don’t mind commitment issues and student loan debt 💝👯‍♀️

the line between not hawksfucker and hawksfucker is very thin and very blurry, beware.....lol and thank you!!

the video you recommended...like damn!!! that’s exactly the vibe I feel like fratty Hawks x reader from be a little bad would be like if they had a happy ending eventually (start at 1:39)!!!!! “I didn’t make you do this” “I’m not accusing you of anything” it’s that exact dynamic. imo Hawks might be a little less willing to make things official and reader would prob have a hard time being straightforward enough to ask tho...hmmm

I did get several requests for a part 2! I’m thinking it over atm. I will say tho that most of my reqs have very slow turnaround so if I write it, it might be a while

ooh I love getting recommendations! here’s what I like:

fanfic: I read stuff like what I write (smut, kink, yandere, villains). at some point I’m going to make a long post of fic recs of my own! I also read fluff and character x character ship fic so interests are pretty broad

TV: humor, crime shows like Bones, Criminal Minds, Psych, that kind of thing. nothing too dark or complicated, nothing that requires too much investment. same goes for anime

movies: pretty much everything! lately I’m really into Howl’s Moving Castle and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

books: literary fiction. can I say I’m into dark academia if the only dark academia I’ve read is The Secret History? favorite books I’ve read semi-recently are TSH, All the Light We Cannot See, The Poisonwood Bible, and Discipline & Punish. currently reading Foucault’s History of Sexuality

music: idk man...all kinds of stuff. I listen based on vibe more than genre. all my spotify playlists are named things like “sunday” and “the power” and “[sparkle emoji]”. my artists on repeat are Hozier, The Weeknd, Kendrick, M.I.A., The Neighborhood (F I’m a basic bitch) but I’ll try anything once

jfc these two asks have given me so much hope 🥰😭💗 you know what? sooner or later I’m going to post Kamui x reader smut and it’s going to get 3 notes from the three of us liking it and that’s okay because I’ve thirsted over this man too long and too hard to go my entire life without reading over-indulgent reader-insert porn of him. yes the villain kink jumped out but DAMN!!! the man has ‘h*rny scumbag who lets his instincts rule him’ baked into both his DNA and his psyche, and I’m so here for it 😌

if you don’t know who Kamui is, do me a favor and watch gintama. yes there are like 400 episodes but it’s worth it. I will convert more bitches to the gintama thirst train if it costs me my life. Kamui was made to star in disrespectful breeding kink smut and this is a hill I will die on.

??? sure, if you can point me toward part 2 ????? lmao

I’m guessing you meant to ask for a pt 2 instead of pt 3? in which case, thanks for asking!! but tbh...for some reason I have a really hard time imagining what a pt 2 would look like, maybe because I wrote it 100% from Overhaul’s POV so it’s hard for me to define the reader’s feelings. I’m not saying it’ll never happen but 🤷‍♀️

HOWEVER if it’s Overhaul content in general you’re craving, you’re in luck!!! he’s a favorite of mine. legit he ticks so many of my boxes—villain kink? check. medical/scientist kink? check. yakuza kink? honey I’m weak. I’ll definitely be writing more for him in the future!

oh no! I checked it on my computer & on mobile and all of the links are working for me? are the links still broken for you guys?

anyway, here are the rules, here’s the short version of the request rules, and here is part 1 and part 2 of it will come back.

thank you to everyone who has sent kind words, everyone who replies to my writing, and everyone who posts thirst in the tags!!! I read that shit!!!! and it makes me fucking cry, I love you all

one more thing: several people have requested continuations to Sleepless, Sidekick, and Fanatic. on one hand, I’m so flattered that you guys want more!!! on the other hand, I actually already answered asks about pt. 2′s for those particular fics. before you request a continuation of anything, it’s probably a good idea to look up the name of the fic as a tag on my blog so you can check and see if anyone else had the same question 💖💖💖

#bunny talks #bnha #haikyuu #kny #gintama #AxK #about me #personal #recommendations #updates #yubitsume #bealittlebad #caughtintheact #itwillcomeback

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purple-saladleaves · 3 years

Note

10, 15, 16 for Efalynn :)

10. When alone, how does your commander handle grief?

when Efalynn is around others, even if someone might be vaguely close by, she represses like hell. the people she's grieving for are still on her mind all the time, but she desperately tries to avoid people seeing that. it... doesn't always work, considering her strained relationships with Dragon's Watch. but she puts a lot of energy into it.

so when Efy is definitely, absolutely, 100% alone, everything rushes out. if things aren't so bad, this just means letting herself be properly upset by nightmares or whatever, letting herself cry, that kind of thing. but rarely, if something has happened recently to make it Hurt, she sort of. explodes. i'm a sucker for emotional/spontaneous magic, which means Efalynn loses some control over her powers when she's upset. not much, but sometimes she'll accidentally summon a few bones or a small amount of death energy. in those situations where she's alone and in pain, it's 10x bigger. sometimes she destroys small trees. Efalynn hates it when it happens, she can't stand losing control like that, but at the same time it feels good to relieve some of the pressure.

15. How has your commander changed overtime?

while Efy was never the most outgoing as a sapling (that was her sister's job), she was absolutely a lot more cheerful and talkative before the pressures and constant losses of her job caught up to her. she still clings onto her optimism, her belief that people are Good and things Will get better, all those things that felt so easy when she was younger. she's become much more solitary than she used to be, and a little less trusting.

but on the positive side, she's much more independant than she was when she had her sister to rely on, and she's dealt with a lot of her early insecurities. it was tough for her, having this hugely important Wyld Hunt, especially when Rhiannwen seemed like she'd be so much better at the job. while Efy still doesn't have great people skills, and still prefers to work alone, she doesn't have the job of the Commander for nothing -- she's become a great leader and tactician.

Efalynn has also changed physically overtime. not too dramatically, but she's collected a fair few scars, and she's visibly quite different from how she formed in her pod. most of it happened during PoF, although she was scarred quite badly across the left side of her body during the fight with Mordremoth, and over time her hands have become badly scarred from using too much necromancy at once (I wrote fic about my hc for that here). after The Departing, Efalynn is noticeably paler and desaturated, and the leaves on her branches grow a light grey instead of green. her eyes have become solid white, and she has a large burn across her face. she also occasionally suffers from brief periods of memory loss.

16. If given the chance, would your commander give up their fame and power? If so, why?

this is... Really hard to answer. on one hand, Efalynn desperately needs a rest (in case you couldn't tell from basically everything I post about her lmao), and she really misses the days when her biggest problem was dealing with Courtiers in Caledon Forest or fighting Risen with her sister Rhiannwen.

but on the other hand, after everything she's been through? no way is she letting anyone else go through that. if that means she has to keep fighting until she physically can't any more, regardless of the consequences? so be it. she knows it isn't particularly healthy*, but she simply wouldn't be able to live with herself if she passed it on to someone else.

plus, it's not about the fame and power, it's also about having a purpose. I've talked about this in the tags of a few reblogs, but what would she do if she quit?? she'd have more time to find Rhi, but that would only last so long, as would searching for the cure to Rhi's undeadishness. either there is one, or there isn't. who is Efalynn when doesn't have that to work towards any more either? and I think she knows that she'd end up stretching the process out to avoid having to answer that. Efy does Not want to do that to her sister. so she doesn't resign from her role as the Commander, and she continues to dedicate what little time she has to her research.

*(which is why I think she'd find a co-Commander post-Icebrood Saga. I haven't played it yet, but I do have thoughts on how Efy would deal with it from what I've read, and I think it would be the final push to get her to realise she can't do it all alone. [I've been having Ideas which is why I decided to go down this route, but unfortunately I don't have the character slot or the icebrood lore knowledge to actually do it yet])

so to summarise, no. she would not.

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #efalynn

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romolite · 4 years

Text

*Important FAQ*

Aka questions that pertain to what I usually post about or stuff I don’t like getting asks about but continue to get asks about regardless.

[Insert any invasive question about my ethnicity/race]

I’m Ghanaian American. My parents were born in Ghana and I was born here in the US. I’ve seen it more on twitter and tumblr, but Black Africans don’t like me because I’m American, and black Americans don’t like me because I’m African. So I’m stuck in the middle lmao. I’m what you’d consider a First-Generation African, my parents are Continental Africans, and if I have children, they will be considered Generational African Americans.

First Generation African: A black person born in the US to parents who were born in Africa

Generational African American: A black person born in the US to US-born black parent(s)

Continental African: A black person born in Africa to parents who were also born in Africa

Non is just a prefix, black people don’t have a monopoly on the term! I suppose you think nonbinary people are racist huh?

Yeah sure it wasnt coined by black people but the context it’s currently used as was predominantly used by black people. ALL people who are not black benefit from and contribute to antiblackness, even if they are marginalized themselves. That kind of dynamic doesnt exist in other contexts (unless we’re talking about transfem + transmisogyny, but that’s something you’d have to talk to someone who is transfem about. Plus they have their own word for “non-transfem”). Using it in contexts outside of antiblackness is appropriative (Yall are annoying as fuck with the “non-aspec” “non-lesbian”(this term also has anti-bi roots btw) “non-bi” shit etc, stop it. You also can’t complain about the “replacement terms” lumping yall with oppressors when “non-x” does the exact same thing you’re so worried about. “Cis” puts cis gays with cis hets, cis disabled people with cis abled people, cis white people with cis poc, I could go on.)

Plus we’re talking about marginalized groups here. Black people are a marginalized group. Binary people as a whole are not so the term nonbinary isn’t appropriate at all. I dont take issue with terms like “nonamerican” or “nonwhite” because (obviously) whites + americans as a whole aren’t oppressed for being white or american.

Basically using "non-x” in contexts to talk about oppression bad, everything else good.

Follow up: If we can’t use non-[marginalized group], what can we use instead?

There are other words to describe the people you’re talking about

non-transfem- TME

non-LGBT- cishet, or people who aren’t LGBT

non-trans - cis

Black people don’t have a monopoly on the acronym nb! I’ll call myself nb if I want to!

At this point I dont really care, go on your antiblack crusade elsewhere and out of my inbox, I’m always gonna mean nonblack when I use the acronym nb.

And yes, you’re antiblack as fuck if you think black people telling you “nb” stands for “nonblack” is the same as exclusionists claiming “aspec” is for autistic people.

Is x AAVE?

I have a tag dedicated to what is and is not aave and how harmful it is for nonblacks to use aave given its history. I know some things overlap with southern culture but others are specifically for black people. A lot of “stan twitter” language/slang is just repackaged AAVE. No, I can’t tell you how to stop using AAVE. Don’t tell me you’re going to try to stop using AAVE, I don’t want to hear it.

Why don’t you like the n-word being compared to LGBT slurs?

Race and Sexuality/Gender aren’t comparable topics because each deals with a different history of oppression. I don’t care about slur discourse that much because I don’t even use/reclaim any myself except the n-word.

I have a problem with nonblack LGBT people co-opting black culture and struggle(like they always do), especially for trivial online discourse.

And to be honest it goes deeper than slur discourse. Every other day someone is weaponizing the oppression of black trans women, or comparing “cishet aces/aros” in the LGBT community to white/nonblack people invading black spaces (you know, something that ACTUALLY takes resources away from the people who need it, see the cultural appropriation of Black African and Blac American culture in literally any nonblack community while black people get demonized for said culture), or tokenizing their black friends to get away with something blatantly racist. And that’s not even getting into how a lot of gay slang/stan culture is just repurposed AAVE/black culture.

And I’m not gonna lie, I’ve seen this more with exclusionist accounts than inclus accounts, but it’s still not excusable for inclus to do that either. We get erased as black gay/trans/queer/aspec people up until it’s time for discourse accounts to bring us up to one-up each other

Can you give me advice on x?

Most likely not, because I’m not an expert or an advice blog. I’ll try, but don't take my word for it. I’m also tme, able-bodied, not Jewish, singlet, etc, so I’m not able to accurately answer questions about transmisogyny, (physical?) ableism, antisemitism, “sycourse”, etc.

I might be able to give advice on school-related stuff since I just graduated high school, but remember that students are not a monolith, and what worked for me may not work for someone else.

Can I follow if I’m nonblack/a minor/cishet?

Nonblack and/or cishet can follow but watch your step, minors blacklist the #minors dni tag before following

Why do you hate Ao3?

*long sigh*

I don't, I have a problem with the fact that it allows racist and (frankly voyeuristic) pedophilic/abusive/incestuous content to exist on its platform. It’s a good concept overall, but the devs are complicit in allowing “underage” and “noncon/dubcon” fics on their platform.

And there's the fact that they somehow need donations every year despite exceeding their goal several times over each year?

What’s wrong with Hazbin Hotel/The Ships/Vivziepop?

[WIP, as I have to go into extensive detail about this and I currently don’t have the energy for it]

TLDR: Viv made a half-assed apology for supporting racists (one of whom did blackface [yes the mask was used to do blackface shut up] to mock black activist) and drawing gross content. Her current projects including Hazbin Hotel are full of anti-gay/trans/aspec (Angel Dust, Vaggie, Alastor), antisemetic (Mimzy), and racist (Vaggie again, that yellow cyclops character that I’ve forgotten the name of) content under the guise of humor. If you’re into that shit, whatever, just don’t follow me and don’t whine when I make posts criticizing it.

What’s wrong with Hamilton?

Aside from the fact that it’s very obviously glorifying slave owners and made people worldwide believe the founding fathers were good people, LMM, the creator, is nonblack. This isn't his story to tell at all.

Can you tag x?

I have a list of things I usually tag because they come upon this blog a lot. I cannot do catch all tags, as I have way too many followers for that. The closest thing to that is the “ask to tag” tag when there’s something potentially triggering but I’m not sure what it is. Everything is tagged as “x tw”. If something is extremely triggering, I’ll tag it as “major tw”

Do you tag slurs?

I tag slurs I’m not able to reclaim at all (i.e., d slur, f slur, t slur) or slurs I can reclaim but are being used as a slurs. I don’t tag the n-word, as I reclaim that one. I always tag the r slur

Can I message you about something/someone?

Unless you’re a mutual, most likely no. My DMs are only open to mutuals.

Do you want to be mutuals?

I don’t usually follow back people who follow me, especially if you’re under 16 or post things I’m not interested in.

Why is it important to have byf or about?

1) So I know gross people aren’t following me. This is not up for discussion

2) So I know someone’s not speaking out of their lane, which tends to happen a lot. (i.e, someone refusing to disclose that they are tme when discussing transmisogyny, someone not having their race listed when discussing racism)

3) Some people don’t want to interact with people under 18 or over like 30 or something.

Yeah, yeah, people aren’t entitled to personal information and all that crap but I have a serious problem with people speaking on topics from a place of privilege. Not to say they can’t talk about those things, just perhaps add a disclaimer that you’re privileged when talking about these things and be open to criticism, and NOT blocking people of the said marginalized group when they tell you something you’ve said was problematic.

I also have a problem with people who are intentionally vague about their age. There’s a difference between interacting with someone who’s 20 and someone who’s 29. I don’t want to say it’s the opposite for minors but at the same time there’s a difference for saying something racist at 13 and doing so at 17, and keeping your age vague makes it harder to determine how to deal with something like that. (Not that 13-year-olds shouldn’t know better, it’s just I don’t feel whole ass callout posts and receipt blogs are necessary for someone of that age).

Also anyone under 16, I can't stop you from following, but keep your interaction limited, please. This isnt an 18+ blog but I do rb suggestive jokes from time to time

I sent you an ask and you never answered it!

It’s likely that

I never got it

You were blocked

I’ve already answered this or it’s been answered in my faq

It’s a random positivity ask (which I appreciate but not sure how to respond to those)

You were rude in your ask and I didn’t feel like answering

I forgot until it was too late, which happens when my inbox gets a lot of asks at a time.

You sent it to the wrong blog (I.e, sending asks about my ocs to this blog instead of @ochood )

Hey, the op is [insert post] is [someone on my dni]! I usually double-check myself, just to be sure.

Have you heard about [someone who is mutuals with someone I’m loosely connected with]?

Most likely, no. And unless they’re an immediate danger to someone or they’ve got my name in their mouth, I don’t care.

Do you know who [x person/group/thing] is?Most likely no. Not to sound like a hipster but I don't usually keep up to date with trends. If I do hear about something, it’s most likely from twitter or Instagram.

Why am I blocked? Check here.

Why do you continuously move mains/change URLs/update themes?

I’m inconsistent. And sometimes there are posts on my blog that I no longer stand by.

Can I tag you in posts I think I’d like?Of course!

#lite.txt #long post #faq

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pastrygeckos · 4 years

Text

I think one of the biggest misconceptions about IBS/IBD is that it's "just" stomach aches. I mean first of all, I could talk about just how painful it is, and how it messes with your vagus nerve so you almost pass out, all day, but right now all I'm thinking about is the side effects of your intestines flaring up. I couldn't get to sleep last night because I was having really bad cramping/burning in my lower abdomen (and it was extremely noisy lmao) without any actual bathroom action.

Today I feel like I have a flu. My joints are achy and my brain feels like its swimming in soup. My head hurts, I'm distracted and fatigued. I happened to have a blood test done in the middle of an attack once, and the results showed a huge spike in white blood cells, because the guts are inflamed. I feel this crap now, even though my main flare up was yesterday. Really the only thing you can do to mitigate it is to first rest, and then up circulation (have a walk or something) to get some nice, fresh blood flowing again.

It aggravates other things, like arthritis, colds/flus, migraines, sore muscles/tendonitis, period pains, etc. etc. so it can all add up quite easily. Not every flare-up is going to include inflammation side effects, and you can also get them alongside minimal pain/stomach upset. It's all a game of dice.

The reason I talk about IBS quite a bit (especially what comes along with it) is because I have a really hard time finding anyone else that does! It brought a smile to my face when I made the vagus nerve post and saw all the people replying or tagging about how they didn't know about it, yet had experienced it at some point, and how hearing about it brought them comfort. I spent 21 years of my life suffering (mostly) in silence (being bullied and mocked by my parents when I did bring it up), and with the help of a couple people I look up to also speaking up (namely Bruce Greene and Elyse Willems) I've just let go of the shame. Sure, digestive issues are gross and kinda embarrassing, but if I was having migraines I wouldn't keep that a secret so why should I keep the IBS a secret?

If anyone ever tries to write your symptoms off as whining or exaggerated, show them this picture of a normal colon vs. a spastic colon. It's fairly easy to see why that would hurt.

#IBS #IBD #Ibs flare #Digestive issues #Pastrymom #Text post

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mal0dramatic · 3 years

Note

ALL OF THEM

The be honest meme

What would prevent you from following someone? If they’re underage. I’m not comfortable with that.

Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why? I like aesthetics, but they’re not a must.

What current rp trend do you hate? The super tiny icons that are so over/undersaturated you can’t tell what’s in them. And also the over-formatting of text.

How do you explain rp to someone in the real world? Bahahah I don’t. I just say I write stories with people.

Do you prefer interacting with male muses or female more? Why? Femaleeee I love the females allll day.

Do you prefer writing male muses or female more? Why? Female, I guess? It depends on my mood.

What’s your opinion on call out posts? I don’t have one. Neutral.

Name any three things about the rpc that bother you. 1 - I feel like a lot of RPers left after the porn ban, and now there’s fewer people left to write with. 2 - SUPER. TINY. ICONS. 3 - People thinking female muses aren’t interesting. Like...what?? how?? babe are you ok?

What is your opinion on exclusivity? Do you practice it? Why / why not? I don’t, but I do sometimes get wrapped up in specific ships/threads for a while.

Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them? No, never. I’ve never made or requested any. I’d rather learn how to do stuff myself.

What do you know now about rp that you wish you knew when you first started? Hm...I really don’t know. Maybe I wish I’d known how to network more?

Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it? Yeah in a way. I’ve been in messy situations. I do regret it, but also learned from it I think.

Have you ever thought about leaving rp? What caused it? What changed your mind? Hm, not leaving forever but like, taking a break. At one point I wrote a character that just started to bore me, and I really needed a break to regain inspiration for a few new ones.

Do you think rp has had a positive or negative affect on your life or you as a person? Overall, positive! It’s an escape, I think. And also it’s just fun.

How has rp changed you personally? I’ve learned how to write better. And also how to communicate better, because online it’s harder to tell how people are really feeling so it’s important to be extra clear. Tbh I’m still not always great with this, though.

If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why? Hm...more lesbians? :D

Have you ever sent a message to yourself on anon? Why? Nope.

Have you ever sent hate to yourself on anon? Why? Nope.

Do you delete anon hate or post and address it? Why? I’ve never gotten anon hate. Surprisingly. But I’d probably look at it and try to decide whether it has any valid criticism in it, or if it’s just blind insults. If it’s the former, I might post it and address the criticism.

Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with? Not really, no. I’ve pressured myself to write stuff sometimes, but people never have pressured me. And I hope I’ve never pressured other people either.

Have you ever followed someone because you felt like you had to, not because you wanted to? Not really.

What would make you block someone? If they’re underage and following my blog with smut on it. It’s not personal, it’s just uncomfortable.

Have you ever stolen something from someone else? Yeah when I was like 14 lol, I had no originality.

Have you ever had something stolen from you? If so, how did you handle it? I don’t think so? Not that I know of. If I did, idk, I’d probably let it go. Two portrayals are never the exact same.

Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not? Sure, I guess. But I rarely write with canon characters so it’s not really something that happens.

How do you feel about vague posting? Very annoying. Lmao especially if I ask the person what they mean and they’re like “LOL”. And that’s it.

Do you follow people even if they don’t follow you back? Yes!

Do you read people’s rules before following or interacting? Yes!

What is your opinion on “reblog karma” and do you practice it? Nah, reblog whatever you want from my page I don’t care. If you send me stuff I’ll be more inclined to send you stuff as well, but no pressure.

How have you responded to popular slang used on tumblr? Do you use it in every day life? Do you use it at all? What kind of slang are we talking? Because if it’s the word “bruh” then yes. All the time.

Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge? Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain? I still don’t fully understand the Alpha/Beta/Omega thing and at this point I’m too afraid to ask.

Have you ever experienced discrimination? I mean...people favor male muses on this website, in my experience. But I don’t really want to call it discrimination because if it’s someone’s preference, I can’t really be mad at them for that. People just wanna write what they’re interested in. It’s not my job to police them about it.

How do you feel about personal blogs following your rp blog? Why? Lol I don’t get it. But go off I guess.

Have you ever cried while writing a reply? Yes, but for reasons unrelated to RP.

Do you read other people’s threads or do you only read your own? I only read my own LMAO is that selfish

What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you? Having people use my gifs and reblogging memes from my page.

How do you feel about tagging triggers? Do you tag them? How do you determine what is triggering content and what isn’t? I try to tag everything. Sometimes stuff slips through the cracks. But I think it’s a good system, people can block whatever they don’t want to see. Things I would generally tag as triggering content include: murder, death, assault, drugs, addiction, rape, abuse, abduction, etc.

What advice would you give to someone new to rp? Use gifs or icons in your open starters, more people will reply to them. I know it’s unfair and it doesn’t really say anything about whether your writing is good or not but using gifs/icons will give you more interactions.

#meme #ooc #rp #pomeqraniqht

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