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myosotisa · 9 months

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Hiding Lately - s.h. & e.m.

Eddie Munson x Reader x Steve Harrington

‖ summary: You've been hurting and hiding. Steve and Eddie come over to check on you and offer to help.

‖ tags: hurt/comfort. depictions of depression, a depressive episode, and anxiety. suicidal ideations. she/her pronouns, no y/n, nicknames are sweetheart, baby, angel, and doll. could be read as platonic or romantic.

‖ word count: 2.1k

The knock on your apartment door had never felt more damning than it did in that moment.

A knock on the front door was always a nightmare for someone who struggled with their mental health but that was on good days. Today, a knock on the door was definitely not something you were prepared to handle.

So you ignored it. Pulled your covers even further up over your head and hoped that whoever it was would just go away.

No such luck.

You hear the muffled sound of the deadbolt turning and then the seal of the door breaking as it inches open. “Hellooooo?” Is the familiar echo out into the empty space of your place. “Anybody home?”

“She’s gotta be here, her car is out front.”

Fuck it’s both of them. Every hope you had of just hiding and Eddie leaving got thrown out the window the moment you heard Steve was with him. On their own, either might be disheartened by no response – decide they were invading your privacy and leave before venturing too far inside.

Together, encouraging each other, it’s only a matter of minutes before they knock at your bedroom door.

Your pigsty of a bedroom that is covered in dirty clothes and dishes and probably smells weird and they can’t see–

“Don’t come in,” you rasp from your bed, voice tired from disuse as you break your silence for the first time in who knows how long.

“Sweetheart, where have you been?” Steve’s voice comes through the door, obviously right outside it. “We've been calling and calling for days.”

“I… I’ve been sick.”

“Sick? Why didn’t you say something, angel? Could’ve brought you some soup or something,” Eddie adds, sounding concerned. You can clearly picture the wrinkle between his eyebrows.

Eyes closing from their stare at the ceiling, you take a deep breath to force down the sickness that is threatening to rise with every lie that leaves your mouth. “I’m contagious. Don’t want to get you sick.”

“Oh, come on. We’re big strong men, right Harrington? We can fend off a little stomach bug, no problem.”

“Super human immune system, baby,” Steve confirms, and you can hear the smile on his face. It nearly breaks your heart. “No chance you’ll give us anything. So can we come in?”

“No!”

Neither of them say a word after your quick and forceful denial, leaving it to feel like it’s echoing out around the room and grating back into your own eardrums. Just to get it to stop, you softly add, “Please don’t.”

While you’re worried it might’ve been too soft for them to hear, you’re proven wrong by Steve saying, “Then will you come out here?” It’s a soft plea, warm and velvety in its concern and compassion, and it feels like a knife in the chest. “Tell us what’s really going on?”

There’s no way to get out of this. You haven’t showered in days, you probably smell rough and look even worse. You’ve been wearing the same sweatpants and hoodie for a week. And you’re going to have to open your door and face your two closest friends like this.

If you don’t go out there, they will come in here. And that’s too much, it’s safe in here, they can’t come in here–

“Okay, okay. I’m… Just gimme a minute.”

“Take your time, we’ll go hang out on the couch,” you hear one set of footsteps away from your door after Steve’s confirmation.

“Not too long though,” Eddie teases, “I’m gonna raid your fridge and eat all of it if you don’t stop me.”

The threat means nothing as he walks away too. There’s nothing in your fridge left that’s edible.

Anxiety from them being here and wanting them to be gone is enough to get you out of bed for the first time today, picking through the remaining pile of clean clothes to find a different pair of sweatpants and a top that isn’t as marinated in body as your current set, slapping on some deodorant and changing your underwear at the same time. You do the bare minimum to make your hair look less like a greasy, horrible mess and gargle some mouthwash because it’s easier than trying to brush your teeth. This already feels like so, so much effort and you haven’t even faced them yet.

This shouldn’t be this hard. Why the fuck is being a normal human being so hard for you? What is wrong with you–

As soon as you’ve even cracked the door open, their murmuring to each other stops and they turn toward you, looking small and unsure in your doorway. Two pairs of brown eyes staring holes into you, seeing right through you, and it feels so fucking painful that you want to just slam the door shut again. They’re looking at you so softly, with so much warmth and openness.

Because they pity you.

“What do you want?” Your voice is colder and softer than you meant it to be, not moving from your spot that blocks the view of your room from them. You could step out into the living room and close the door behind you to hide your shame, but leaving the safety of your bedroom isn’t something you’re willing to do yet.

“Your fridge is empty.” Eddie’s voice is as soft as yours but the corners of his mouth are turned down in a small frown. “The dishes in your sink have started to smell. Your trashcan and your mailbox are both overflowing.”

Shame and embarrassment presses hot behind your eyes, looking down at your feet. “If you’re just here to point out everything that’s wrong, you can get the fuck out of–”

“Sweetheart.” Steve cuts you off, not cruelly but enough to make you stop anyway. “When’s the last time you ate anything?”

Your heart drops into your stomach when he slowly stands, starting to slowly walk toward you like you’re a skittish animal. “I dunno… I’m not hungry.”

“Shit,” Eddie mutters from the couch, head falling to look at his clasped hands as he leans forward on his elbows.

“When’s the last time you showered? Left your apartment?” Steve continues, looking like his heart is breaking.

“Steve…” You whisper, a croak in your voice again while you shake your head at him. “Please, don’t… Don’t make me answer that.”

Eddie’s head raises again, drawing your attention. He looks just as heart broken as Steve. “Why didn’t you say anything, doll?”

A humorless laugh leaves you, sounding more like a choked gasp. “What the fuck was I supposed to say, huh? ‘Hey, sorry guys, I can’t even get myself to go to the fucking grocery store like a normal human being, can you help?’”

“Yeah,” he answers, sounding almost angry, shaggy hair falling off his shoulders when he nods, “for a start.”

“Eddie.” Steve looks back at him sharply, giving him a warning look that makes him soften again. When he looks back to you, still a safe few feet away, he asks, “What happened, sweetheart? What’s got you…?”

“Hurting?” Eddie offers when the other falters, pushing off his knees to stand as well.

“It’s just…” Your voice cracks, tears you haven’t been able to find in days suddenly pushing at your eyes without warning. You squeeze them closed as your breath catches to try and stop them.

What are you gonna tell them? ‘Oh everything’s so hard.’ Just tell them you’re a fucking child who can’t handle being alive? Might as well push them out the door now–

“Hey,” Steve’s soft voice interrupts your mental berating, taking another few steps closer. “It’s okay. You can tell us anything.”

“No judgement,” Eddie adds, an echo of one of the first things you said to him when the two of you met. It’s been a constant in the relationship you have with both of them. Anything any of you say – no matter how stupid, or fucked up, or wrong – no judgement. Maybe some teasing, depending on how stupid. But they’ve never judged you for anything and there is no reason for them to start now.

But this? Trusting someone, opening up to someone, letting someone in about this? The idea is terrifying.

“Everything’s just…” You trail off again, looking off and down the hallway away from them as you bring your arms up in a sort of hug for yourself. “It’s all just a lot, right now.”

“Will you…” Eddie shoves his hands into his pockets as he kicks out his boot like he’s kicking a rock. “Will you let us help you?”

You’re shaking your head before he can even finish the sentence. “I– I can’t ask you to do that.”

Steve’s fingertips brush your elbow, the first human touch you’ve had in longer than you can remember, and it has your head whipping toward him. “You’re not asking. We're offering.”

Hot tears increase the pressure in your head, now starting to pool at the bottoms of your eyes as you struggle to make eye contact with either of them. “I don’t even know how you could help. It’s just… I can’t…”

I want to curl into a ball on the floor and wait to die–

“How about this,” Eddie walks up, moving to rest his shoulder on the wall beside the door frame you still occupy. “I’m gonna run to the store and stock up, plus grab us all something to eat on the way back.”

You open your mouth to protest but he holds up his hand, “Ah, ah, ah.” It’s enough scolding to close your lips again in a tight line before he points at Steve. “Mr. Mom here can get started on cleaning up the kitchen so it’s nice and easy to cook in. And you tell us what you want to do.”

Your teary eyes finally look back and forth between them, begging for an answer – for them to put you out of your misery for even just a moment. “I can give you a couple of options to choose from, if that would help?” Steve offers, fingertips still lightly resting on your elbow.

Door 3, door 3, door 3, every bone in my body wants to get back in bed and never get up–

Squeezing your eyes shut, both to let some of the tears fall and to push back the shame that wants to explode out of your mouth, you give him a stuttered nod of your head. “Okay. Door #1: While we do that, you go and try to take a shower.” The immediate pain must show on your face, because he quickly moves on.

“Door #2: You come out here and lay on the couch while I start to clean up. You can take a nap, or we can talk, or we can listen to music – whatever you want. And Door #3, you go back and curl up in bed and we come back to get you when Eddie has some food for us.”

A shaky breath in and out, you open your eyes to look at them. Eddie’s face is forced casual while Steve offers a small and supportive smile. You know they wouldn’t judge you if you picked Door #3 and got back into bed. If you went back to the indent you’ve most likely made from all the hours and hours spent in the same spot. But you want to try. Even if it’s just a little bit. Even if you end up back in bed right after anyway.

“If… If I pick Door #2,” Eddie’s mouth tilts up slightly and Steve’s eyebrows raise in interest, “then can I have a hug?”

“Oh angel,” Eddie presses a hand to his chest, right over his heart. “If you thought you were going to get away without a hug in any of those options, you’re sorely mistaken.”

You exhale a small laugh out of your nose, a teary smile on your face as they both step up to sandwich you between them in a tight hug. Eddie’s face presses to your ear, curly hair tickling your nose as he rests his mouth on your shoulder. Steve settles higher, resting his cheek on the side of your head as he tucks you closer to his chest. Both boys are warm, solid, and alive on either side of you – almost crushing you with the force of the embrace. But it’s the best crush you’ve ever felt, one that tells you that you’re alive and that someone cares. It makes the tears come through faster, falling down your cheeks with more force as you shudder in a breath.

Steve presses a kiss to your temple, squeezing you just a little bit tighter. “We’re here for you, sweetheart.”

Eddie’s hand fists in the back of your shirt, forcing you an inch closer. “As long as you need us. Not going anywhere.”

now I live in a place that feels smaller by the day four walls closing in from months spent inside them there is too much grief packed into this small place packed into this bed with unchanged sheets packed between these ribs that somehow are still unbroken and no one has ever been here not in this space, not in this bed, not between these ribs they are too full of my own grief for there to be any space

thanks for reading. please reblog and leave a reaction if you liked it, they make my day.

#steve harrington hurt/comfort #steve harrington comfort #steve harrington fluff #eddie munson hurt/comfort #eddie munson comfort #eddie munson fluff #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #steddie x you #steddie x reader #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #myos ideas #myo4munson #myo4harrington

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vampyrgoff · 8 months

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Hewos! How would the Sinclair Brothers act when they give their s/o her first kiss?

First kiss W/ The Sinclairs HC's!

sinclair brothers x fem!reader

contains— fluufffffff, minor violence in Bo's other than that its cute and its late while i write this so apologies for bad writing

requests— open!!! ill write for any slasher atp

vampyr's note— school is bustin' my girl balls fr, Sorry if the guys are a lil ooc, im delusional so I be just writing how I feel the situation would go frrrr, also its not gonna be good lol i just wanted to write something b4 bed because this is like my hobby

word count— 756 words and 3.8k characters

gifs aren't mine! credit for the dividers :D: @mmadeinheavenn thank you for your service 🤍

Bo Sinclair:

Your first kiss with Bo is rather.... gruesome :D (if you are a bo girly you gotta at least be a lil violent js)

He gives you your first kiss in his shop.

He has you talking it up with some visitors and keeping them distracted so he can strike a good kill with them

As you're talking with the visitors you notice one of the girls getting a lil too handsy with Bo. Shes touching his chest, biting her lips, and he's entertaining her too (cause he just would)

So while the other visitors leave, you ask the girl to stay back and to chit chat with you.

Once she turns her head, you blackout...

All of a sudden she's on the floor and you have a wrench in your hand thats bloody.

As she screams for help on the floor, Bo rushes up and this lil fucker has the biggest smile on his face.

"I knew you'd do somethin' about it" he coos at you.

"I-I dont know what came over me.." you say dropping the wrench on the floor with a loud bang.

"Darlin' its fine. Didn't think you'd go all out for your man like that." he'd say playfully.

He grabs you and smashes his lips against yours, dominating the kiss in seconds, while the girl basically watches and is bleeding out.

He has his hands on your cheeks and is kissing you like you just did something so amazing and wonderful.

"That's my girl." he says low and husky in your ear.

"Make sure she's the first one Vinnie does." You say as you pull away, completely flustered.

Lester Sinclair:

Your first kiss with Les is really sweet and rather innocent.

He kisses you in the forest (no not by the roadkill pile lol)

I feel like you and him just go exploring ALL the time

If you're not a nature person, he will beg you with PUPPY DOG EYES to go out with him constantly (you better give in, he deserves the world)

but I feel like he'd have a little area in the forest for you that has a fairy lights and a pretty stone path to a swinging bench that he built, just for you and him to have convos and talks.

I feel like you'd guys have this deep convo thst has to do with trauma and childhood trauma.

While you're pouring your heart out to him, he very lovingly places a small kiss on your lips as tears fall from your eyes while you remember your past and remember the things youve pushed past.

The kiss is soft, and quick.

He pulls away and is a bit starstruck at the random boost of confidence he just gained,

""m sorry. I- should've asked..." he says with the rosiest cheeks everrrr

he'll hold your hand and bow his head in shame, thinking hes gone too far.

but his heart starts to flutter once he feels your head rest on his shoulder as you guys talk some more.

Vincent Sinclair:

Your first kiss with Vinnie is adorable

It's in his basement ofc

You were in his bed, watching him work on some new sketches

Your eyes felt heavy and your breath was slowly starting to even out

Vincent hears your steady breaths after a while and rolls his chair over to you quietly, sketchbook and pencil in hand already.

This cutie straight up starts sketching your closed eyes, your nose, and your messy hair that's sprawled all over his pillow

as he adds more detail to his drawing he finally gets to the part of your face that leads to your lips.

he looks up from his sketch book and truly stares at your lips for awhile, really eyeing the depth of them and the softness of them.

he tilts his head to get a better view of them and he finally takes his mask off.

(he tends to wait for you to be asleep to finally take it off in the first few months of you guys dating)

he gets into bed with you and looks at your sleeping face and just simply admires it. the sound of your soft snores coming from your parted lips relaxes him.

eventually he very timidly places his lips onto yours, careful not to wake you up.

he places a few more pecks on your lips before pulling the duvet over your body.

after that night, it becomes a routine of his to watch you sleep and to sneak in some maskless pecks to your sleeping figure

#im so tired #wrote this at 2 am lol #i have to get up at 4am lol #vincent sinclair #slashers #house of wax #slashers x reader #bo sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair imagine #vincent sinclair x reader #lester sinclair #lester sinclair x reader #lester sinclair x reader imagine #bo sinclair x reader imagine

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plutowrites · 3 months

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Of Magic

note: whew dusted off the ole keyboard for this one. if i'm rusty, you gotta allow it. i love this one sm. because i love nanami kento. that is all.

pairings: dad!nanami x (fem) reader

contains: fluff. nanami being the best duh wbk. modern au.

You hear a faint scraping noise from the kitchen as you quietly enter your home, holding your breath while gently closing the door behind you. It's 9:53 PM, and although wishful thinking has you hoping the girls are fast asleep in their beds, you know they're probably waiting for you to come and kiss them goodnight. In your opinion, Kento outshines you in almost every aspect of parenting, but bedtime belongs to you. He just can't do stories like you can—nothing beats the silly voices you give to each character. Your voice range is impeccable.

However, it is late, and you've had multiple conversations with your children about not waiting up for you tonight; one when they had just woken up, another during breakfast, and the last reminder during the car ride to school before dropping them off. They know very well that you had a company event to attend outside of work hours and wouldn't be home until late at night. But still, a small (horrible) part of you wanted them to still be awake, just to hear their cute giggles and feel their tiny, warm hands wrapped around your neck in a tight hug.

"How'd it go?" Kento asks, closing the lid over the Tupperware filled with tonight's dinner, which looks (and smells) like beef and broccoli stir-fry. You stand in the kitchen with a puzzled look on your face.

Instead of answering his question, you point to the food in his hands. "They ate the broccoli?"

Nanami turns to face you and frowns. "Of course they ate the broccoli."

"What?! They never eat broccoli when I'm around."

"That's only because you don't eat broccoli, honey. You're their hero; they wouldn't even touch chocolate cake if dearest mommy turned up her nose at it."

"Dearest mommy, huh," you repeat after him, a grin slowly spreading across your face. Kento wraps one arm around your shoulders lazily, pulling you into him and pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head.

"They should be asleep—"

"Nice."

"But they're probably not," Nanami finishes. You lean your head back to look at him. The beginnings of a smile dance on the corners of his lips.

You fake gasp. "How naughty."

"Soooo naughty."

"I'll go check on them when I go up there to change my clothes." Kento lets go of you and runs a hand through his hair. Noting the exhaustion on his face, you add, "You should rest now that I'm home. I can pack the girls' lunches for tomorrow too."

He shakes his head. "They're already done, but did you know they're really into star shapes now? It was just hearts last week. I can do hearts. I did hearts like a pro, actually."

"Are stars really that hard to do?" You ask, tongue in cheek.

He shoots you a look. In your husband’s defense, he really did cut hearts into foods like a pro. Every single item that went into the girls’ lunch boxes that could be carved into the shape of a heart, was in the shape of a heart. You always watched Kento from the couch in the living room as he meticulously sliced and diced away to make his girls happy.

You pat your hand across one of his cheeks and coo, "You're the best dad ever, literally." You draw out the word literally, eliciting a snort from Nanami.

"I had to ban that word today."

Now it’s your turn to laugh—your oldest daughter learned the word 'literally' in school this week and hasn't stopped using it since. It's sort of hilarious how she sneaks it into every other sentence. You tilt your head to the side and reply in the most serious tone you can muster, "Thank you because it was literally driving me, literally, insane, literally."

A chorus of giggles erupts from the top of the stairs, followed by a thundering rumble of footsteps descending. The moment in the kitchen, interrupted.

Nanami shakes his head gently and sighs, "Hmm, I wonder if they’re awake."

You grab the back of his neck, yank him closer, and plant a loud kiss on his cheek. "My babies are spoiled like little princesses. They need entertainment to go to sleep, and I am their jester. I bid you farewell."

"You’re going to read them a bedtime story?"

"Yes, I am going to read them a bedtime story..."

"Now? At 10:00 PM? And you call me soft..."

“You are, don’t even start.”

After a beat, Kento says softly, “You're so good to them, you know? They’re so lucky to have you.”

Hearing those words from him stops you in your tracks. They wouldn't mean nearly as much coming from anyone else as they do coming from Kento, simply because he is the best father.

He’s so patient, and kind, and understanding. He lets the girls wear whatever madness they want, and is completely fluent in their ramblings and mumbles— far better than you. He knows exactly how they like their oatmeal, and memorized the milk to cereal ratio they must have in their bowls or else the world stops for them; he knows exactly what to say when they're feeling upset to calm them down.

He learned how to bake white chocolate raspberry muffins because it’s their favourite. He learned how to do funky hairstyles just because a crazy hair day at their school was on the horizon. He even learned how to patch holes in their clothes instead of telling them not to lay and roll around in the wood chips at the park because he couldn't bear to cut into their fun.

If Kento didn’t know how to do something, he learned. He was always trying.

To you, your husband is a hard-working, dedicated, outrageously beautiful force of a man.

To your children, he’s nothing short of magic.

#jjk x reader #nanami kento x reader #nanami x reader #kento x reader #nanami fluff #jjk fanfic #pluto writes #for the first time in a decade

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small-sinclair · 11 months

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Hii!!

Sinclair brothers react about it's time to wake up but S/O don't want to get up just want to stay in bed and sleep

Thank you and have a good day!!!❤️

Hewo, friend! Thank your for the request :3

I'm also going to add Reggie and Brahms, too.

Slashers with an s/o that doesn't want to leave bed.

Bo: Snuggles

"Darlin', I know ya hate mornin's but ya need to let go of my arm," he drawls, tapping your shoulder to let go. "I got things to do, an' I need your help wit' puttin' up a new welcome sign."

Y/n's hand takes Bo's arm and pulls it back into their grasp. They sigh tiredly and drift back to sleep. Bo just signs and lays back down with them and nuzzles into their chest. "Okay, honey. Twenty more minutes an' we move."

Bo said this about two hours ago. Now, he and his s/o are snuggled under the covers once more, Bo kissing their head and hands. Maybe it's a good idea to take the morning off.

Vincent: Works anyways

He knows you don't get up right away, and he's okay with that. Vincent is already dressed and working on his art when you stumble out of the little bedroom off the side of the basement and lean against him. Vincent knows you stay up late sometimes with your own work, but he just wants your to feel well rested with everything. He looked over as you rest your head on his shoulder. Both of you listen to the opera music play as you watch him work with his hands.

He puts his tools down and pats his lap, motioning for you to sit. You do, and he holds your waist as you play with his hair.

"Sorry I slept in later," you whispered, sleep still hanging in your voice.

He shakes his head as he starts rubbing your back. At least you're somewhat awake for him to give you some loving by kissing your hand and cheek, his lone eye admiring your sleepy-filled eyes.

Lester: Passenger Royalty

He was able to wiggle out of your grasp and get dressed to leave for work. He normally leaves before the sun comes up, so he knows you won't be awake. Today is different, however.

Lester wakes you up with kisses and nudging your gently like a puppy. "Sweet pea? Do ya wanna wake up?"

"No," you murmur as you started back to sleep.

He raises a brow and kisses your forehead. "How 'bout ya come wit' me today? If we leave now, we can get that fast food breakfast ya lik'?" He kisses you again. "An' Starbucks from the next town over? Headin' 'at way anyhow 'cause I gotta report from the sheriff two deer down."

You think it over. "C'n I be in my fuzzy pants all day? And not leave the truck?" You asked, blinking some sleep away.

"Be my passenger royalty, darlin'," he conformed. "Deal?"

You smile sleepily and kiss him sleepily. "Grab my blanket and pillow, too. I might sleep."

Brahms: The Nervous

Brahms gets scared when y/n doesn't get up at their normal time. He moves from his room and goes through the wall tunnels to find them still in their bed with the covers over their head. He saw this once when he was younger when someone was sick and dying.

Brahms comes to y/n's side of the bed and shakes them slightly. "Wake up," he whispers. "Please, wake up? Get up?" His child voice fills the dusty air as his nerves take over. "Why aren't you getting up?"

Y/n stirs and parts their eyes. Without saying anything, they pulls Brahms into their chest and lay them back down in bed.

"Y/n sick?" Brahms ask.

"No," they answer as they start going back to sleep. "Just a lazy day." Y/n looks down at Brahms and carefully takes off his mask to steal a kiss. "Does Brahms wanna join y/n on this lazy day?"

Even though it doesn't go in his normal schedule, Brahms nods and snuggles into their arms, sighing softly. They should have more lazy days.

Reggie: Comes back and Joins

Reggie wakes up and kisses your forehead. You normally wake up with him, but he noticed that you were extra tired today from last night's date. He smiled in your hair and kisses you once more, causing you to follow his lips to kiss him back.

"Go'morning, honeydew," he says lightly. "I gots some deliveries ta do. Promise 'll be back by lunch."

"Bring food?" You murmur, kissing his arm. "Please?"

He smiles and rests his head against yours. "Reckon so, beauty." HE looks at the clock then back at you. "I promise ta bring bac' sum burgers and curly fries from 'at dinner yous like." Reggie squeezes your head the sits up to leave.

When he comes back and sees you still in bed, he'll smile and place the bags on the counter. He takes off his boots and hands his hat before climbing in bed and pulls you into his chest, kissing your head. Soon, he joins you and drifts back to sleep, holding you close.

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drvconian · 6 months

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How You Get the Girl ...

“I just don’t know what I did.” Ron complains, leaning into the back of the couch in the Common Room, his eyes closed and his eyebrows pinched. It’s late, almost everyone else has gone to bed, which is why he speaks quietly to you: it makes you feel like you’re sharing a secret, which you technically are, but everything feels more special when it’s just Ron and you.

You like Hermione and Harry just fine, but when you all got together as a group, it always felt that he preferred them more, especially Hermione. You could understand why: she was smart and pretty, both things you envied about her. Your jealousy wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t seem like you caught Ron staring at her all the bloody time.

You shake your head, smiling softly over at him. “Girls are fragile, Ron. You can’t be as brutish as you are with your brothers or Harry.” You laugh quietly, “what kind of girl would take that as a compliment anyway?”

“I dunno.” He replies, rolling his eyes. “I would, though.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.”

“Well, you gotta help me then.”

You widen your eyes at him, clearly taken aback at his request. “You want me to help you get with Hermione?”

Ron moves in closer, nodding his head slightly. “You have to. You’re one of my closest friends, I dunno who else to go to with this.”

Your heart beats hard in your chest, you have no idea how to feel. The sentiment is nice, that he trusts you enough to ask for your advice on how to impress the girl he fancies. On the other hand, it hurts to know that he even fancies another girl (even though you knew) and that he expects you to help him. You want to say no and try to convince him that Hermione and him would never work out, so you surprise yourself when… “okay, Ron. I’ll help you.”

...

A knock on your door drags you out of your reverie. You close the book in your lap and place it on the table beside you, and unfold your legs. They’re stiff from how long you’ve been sitting on your couch, and you wince slightly. You stand up and make your way over to the door, opening it slightly to peek at whoever it could be.

“Ron?”

He’s standing in your doorway, hunched over in his jacket. He’s soaking wet, his hair dripping onto his face and his jacket a shade darker than it’s supposed to be. He looks miserable standing there, but his face brightens when he sees you. “You answered.”

You nod before opening the door wider, “are you insane? Come inside before you catch a cold.”

He steps inside, brushing against you, and stands barely in the doorway. The water on his clothes drips down onto your floor, and you quickly close the door behind the two of you. You open up a closet close to the door and pull down a towel, handing it over to him so he can dry off. You watch him, the air between the two of you thickening.

“It’s been a long six months.” He begins, peeking out at you from beneath the towel that he’s drying his hair off with. You watch him, worrying your bottom lip. You don’t know what to say, you hadn’t seen him since your final, chaotic days at Hogwarts – even then, you hadn’t seen him for a long time before then. He hadn’t contacted you at all. He takes a deep breath. “I was too afraid to tell you what I wanted. I’ve always been too scared of that.”

...

“Tell her something cheesy like… I want you for worse or for better. It’ll help defuse the tension since she’s upset with you. It’s sort of cute, and it’ll help lead into you telling her you like her.”

He nods in a more attentive way than he ever had in class. Your stomach twists – you could sabotage this whole thing, yet you weren’t. Hermione was your friend just as much as Ron was your best friend. You weren’t cruel. You just happened to like Ron more than she probably did.

“And then maybe you can add in something like: I would wait forever. To show your dedication.”

“Dedication? I’m not looking to marry her!”

You roll your eyes. “That’s not what I meant! You’re just buttering her up, but you don’t have to say that if you don’t want to-”

“I’d only say that if I meant it.”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes again. How romantic. You feel a pang in your heart at that thought… at least he wanted to confess to Hermione.

“Okay, well, you hurt her, right? Admit that you did, and say that you want to fix it.”

...

“We were best friends, Ron. You could’ve told me anything, hell, you almost bloody did!” You cross your arms, conflicted on whether to laugh or be annoyed with him. “You told me way too much sometimes.”

He doesn’t smile or laugh the way he might’ve at the suggestive joke when he was younger. Something seems to settle within him, and he pulls the towel off of his head. He takes a slight step forward, and you feel the tension settle between the two of you. You rarely saw Ron this serious, though it seems to be a more permanent emotion during and after the war.

“I broke your heart.”

Everything around you stills. Your own heart stills. That was one truth you had kept to yourself throughout all those years, throughout all of his relationships. So many little fragments over the years had gathered until, just about half a year ago, it had finally shattered and he had walked away from you. Your chest feels tight as you wonder who could have told him.

“I want to put it back together.” He swallows, his words trembling just the slightest bit. “I know now that I will wait forever.”

...

You're sitting in the Great Hall as Ron eats lunch while you work on your homework. You’re focused on a particular list of ingredients for a potion when Ron speaks. “That stuff you told me worked, by the way. Thanks.”

“Oh. With Hermione? Good.” You force yourself to sound happy, even looking up to smile at Ron across the table.

“She forgave me, sort of. I don’t think she understood what I was really trying to say.”

You sigh, rolling up your parchment and setting it aside. You’d get back to it later. “You’re back to being just friends?”

He nods, “I couldn’t just outright tell her! She’d probably think I was joking or something.”

“You’re such an idiot.” You lean across the table so you can lower your voice. “You could bring up the ways you’ve subtly flirted with her. There’s that picture we took where you’re staring at her. You wouldn’t let her see it, remember? You could show it to her.” You settle back into your seat, reaching to unroll your parchment again.

“How do I explain why I didn’t just show her then?”

You pull your quill out of your ink, already returning to writing down another ingredient. “Tell her you lost your mind.”

...

You remember sitting on the Common Room couch, when one of those fragments joined the many others. When Ron first started fully showing interest in Hermione and you knew you had no chance with him. No, Ronald Weasley wouldn’t show up at your door and suddenly confess to you, when he and Hermione had finally found their happy ending sometime during the battle at Hogwarts. He couldn’t be saying that.

“Ron… what are you saying? Is everything okay?” You want to feel his forehead, to see if his cold has already set in and he didn’t realize what he was saying. Your heart is hammering inside of your chest.

“Don’t you remember how it used to be? We were always alone.” His voice becomes steadier as he talks and he grows closer to you, his eyes brightening. “We spent so many nights together, talking on the Common Room couch. It was always just us at lunch. We even went on walks just to talk.”

“That’s because, usually, Hermione and Harry were busy. We didn’t have a choice-”

“I did. I didn’t know it then, but I always had a choice and I always made it.” He’s standing in front of you, looking down at you with a look you know you’ve never seen before. You had known Ron since first year, and you knew almost every look and what it meant. You didn’t know this one.

“I was such an idiot. I am such an idiot. You’ve been in front of me this whole time, and I didn’t see it.”

...

It’s one of the rare moments where you somehow end up alone with Harry. You’re sitting in the library, waiting for Ron and Hermione to show up so you can start your study session together. You already have your parchment and ink out, along with several books on the table. Harry’s setup mimics yours, and you’re both leaned over the table.

The two of you don’t talk much, you’re both connected by your friendship with Ron. While you’ve become friends with Hermione, you and Harry are still more like strangers.

The sound of footsteps approaching causes you to look up from your books. You knew it was Ron, you didn’t have to be looking to know it was him whenever he was near. What you didn’t expect was for Hermione to be walking next to him. They sometimes entered together, having run into each other or they had been previously hanging out. The part you didn’t expect was their intertwined hands, and the large grins on their faces. Their rosy cheeks.

It happened.

Harry looks up from across you, and his face immediately splits into a grin. He’s happy for his friends, and you should be too. You mimic his smile, trying to mask the way your heart feels like it’s breaking. Ron looks victorious, like he’s just won the final Quidditch match of the season against Slytherin. All you can feel welling up inside of you is defeat, because this is your fault. You could have just denied him the help, and maybe it’d be you holding his hand and smiling.

Would Harry even be smiling like that if it was you?

...

“I want you.”

Eight years. Ninety-six months. Four thousand, three hundred and eighty days. That’s about the time you had known Ron. You had spent more than half of that wanting him. You had spent the latter half of that knowing it was never going to happen.

Never had you expected that during your ninth year of friendship, he would tell you the thing you had wished for all that time. The thing you had hidden in journals or in daydreams you were ashamed of. You had spent years making up crushes and having Ron try to help you the way you helped with Hermione.

“But you- you and Hermione… I can’t-”

“Hermione and I broke up a while ago. She said she knew from the beginning that we wouldn’t last.” You wince at that, but it doesn’t seem to faze him. He’s smiling down at you. “She said she knew who I would end up with.”

Oh.

“It’s been obvious this whole time, hasn’t it? That it was you?”

Oh.

“I mean, even Harry saw it. After ‘Mione and I split, we all had dinner and he told me that I was a blind idiot for not noticing sooner.” He laughs slightly, “he also made me realize how much I’ve hurt you over the years.”

You don’t know what to say. You’ve wished for this moment practically your whole life, and now that it’s here, you’re lost. In your mind, you would end up with someone your parents’ set you up with and you’d live your version of a mediocre happy ever after. You’d spend the rest of your life with the knowledge that Ron loved someone else and he had and would never love you.

You’re staring up at him. You had stared up at him so many times before, but never like this. Never with him confessing to you. Never with him smiling at you so tenderly and so happily. Never with so much affection.

Softly, he brushes a strand of hair away from your face. You reach your hand up and rest it on his wrist. The two of you stay like that for a moment.

Your voice is quiet when you finally speak. “Do you mean it?”

His eyes never leave yours as he nods his head. You wrap your arms around his neck and his arms wrap around your waist. You want to weep into him but also scream with joy: you’ve never felt this happy.

You pull away slightly to look at him. “It’s always been you, Ron. For worse or for better. Slug puking or Quidditch winning. It’s you.”

He pulls you close again, his head resting on top of yours. You press your head to his chest and listen to his heartbeat.

It’s beating just as fast as yours.

...

You listen to the birds chirp as you walk down the street. It’s slightly windy, but the heat from the sun keeps whatever chill the wind carries away. There’s the faint smell of flowers coming from the flower vendor just down the street, next to the diner where you’re supposed to be grabbing lunch from.

You’re not very familiar with this part of town. It’s not near your flat, and you had to Apparate to get there.

You pull open the door to the diner, and a bell chimes to alert the people inside of your presence. Muggles. You smile slightly at the gesture, and make your way inside. You look around, before you spot a pair of brown hair and glasses.

Harry spots you first and his face breaks into a smile. At this, Hermione turns around and greets you with a smile too. Harry stands up out of the booth and pulls Ron, who has been holding your hand this whole entire time, into a hug. Hermione stands up and pulls you into a side hug. It’s a little awkward, but maybe you’ll get more comfortable with each other someday.

Everyone is smiling as you slide into the booth beside Hermione. She picks up the menu and hands it to you, “I have to recommend the cheeseburger…”

Word Count: 2270

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benedictscanvas · 11 months

Note

omggg in my fluffy needing comfort era and i LOVE how you write jamie tartt x reader- could i make a request for jamie x chronically ill reader where he is just really supportive and loving with someone who is long-term sick? ♥️♥️

of course, my love. thank you for the kind words. i tried to make this as vague as possible so people can relate in their own ways. sending you love! <3 | gn!reader, 1.2k words, tw chronic illness & pain, language

You'd just about managed to get your hair how you wanted it to look for the evening, with minimal swearing for once. Jamie was sat on the bed waiting for you, he'd been ready for a good few minutes now, but you were still reluctant to emerge. There was a wave of pain undulating through you that you were trying to ride out in silence without alerting your boyfriend.

"Y' alright, love? No rush, I wanna be fashionably late anyways," he said from the next room, raising his voice so that it reached you through the closed door. You hardly ever closed doors around each other, so you should have known he'd be worried.

The pain wasn't dissipating, so you took a few deep breaths before stepping out into the bedroom with a smile that you hoped was normal.

"Sorry, my hair wasn't co-operating," you say, tilting your head as you take him in. Navy trousers, white shirt, brown jacket. He looked effortlessly gorgeous, even if he had one more button undone than you would have suggested. Some things didn't change, "You look so good, Jamie."

"Me?" he said incredulously, standing up and huffing out a breath of disbelief, "You look...fuck. I'm not good enough with me words for this."

His hands gesture aimlessly down your outfit and you feel a real smile blossoming under his attention. You take his hands in yours and place them on your waist, stopping his flapping from going further.

"I like your words just fine. And your face," you add with a grin that he returns, curling his fingers into the fabric he's found. A new wave of pain crests and you try your hardest to keep it off your face, but don't think about how your body must tense under his touch. His whole face crumples.

"Ah shit," he murmurs, running his hands down your arms to interlace your fingers together as he takes a step closer, "Why didn't y' say anythin' babe?"

"About what?" you ask pathetically, watching him fix you with a look that said 'cut the shit'.

"Cut the shit," he said, clearly deciding the look wasn't enough, "We agreed, babe, you tell me if it's a bad day so I can help. Or at least try to. Thought we were in a good place with it."

Your heart aches. He really does hate it when you keep your pain to yourself, even though you're not sure he yet understands just how much pain you would be sharing if you shared all of it. You'd been dating for six months, but still wanted to be careful not to scare him off.

"I am. I promise, Jamie, I do tell you it's just..." you struggle for a good explanation that doesn't create any pity in him, "Tonight's big, you know? I want to be a proper girlfriend and I want to burst into tears and kiss you stupid when they call your name for that award."

There is a little bit of pity in his eyes when you've finished, so you can't have done a very good job of it. He squeezes your hands tightly in his.

"Can't say it many more ways," he says softly, "But y' gotta believe that you are me priority, gorgeous. Jus' wanna look after you, y' know. I wanna be a proper boyfriend too."

You'd never thought about it that way. Another wave of pain hits and Jamie's instantly stroking your temple when your eyes clench shut. You feel his lips on the opposite side of your head as he whispers sweet little comforts in your ear.

If it wasn't so painful, maybe you'd be more willing to argue the point with him. It would have to be a battle saved for later, because lying down was the only option for the moment. You could feel the sting of tears; it couldn't have been a worse time for a flare up.

"I'll be there for every other award you win," you say forcefully, but you can't bring yourself to promise. Sometimes you worry you can't promise him enough, but then you see the way he looks at you as he leans backwards again and a lot of that worry falls away.

"You're way too sure that I'm winnin' this award, by the way," he says, a little bashful. It was one of your favourite versions of him, "I'm up against quality."

"None of that. The most creative player in the league this season was you. Hands down. I think you know that really."

He nods, but doesn't look sure still. Then he's stepping away from you as he shrugs off his jacket, throwing it onto the back of a chair and flopping down on the bed.

"Come on then, love. We can fit in a quick episode of whatever you want before the ceremony's on TV."

You stare at him.

"What?"

"Well I'm not fuckin' going without you," he laughs, like that was never an option, "Duh. I'd be bored shitless. I know you need to lie down, babe, come on."

He holds out a hand to you. You take it, still dazed by the sudden turn of events, let him pull you onto the bed and into his arms on top of the covers.

"There we are," he breathes, pressing kisses into the top of your head, "Perfect. We'll have a much better evening bein' able to laugh at Roy makin' a fool of himself for the cameras from 'ere, right?"

Coming back to your senses, you pull yourself out of his arms for a moment so you can look at him properly. He's been acting normal up until now, but when he sees the tears in your eyes, his whole face softens.

"Let's not argue right now, love, please," he begs, "Wanna take care of you, so jus' let me. We can talk about it tomorrow."

"Your award..." you choke out, but he shushes you.

"Will be waitin' for me at the club tomorrow. Me speech would have been fucked anyway, so there's nothin' to miss out on."

There's no room for argument in his voice. It's as firm as it is comforting. Relenting as the pain hits once again, you snuggle back into his arms, kissing whatever parts of him you can reach.

"Like my guardian angel," you say, trying not to sound so teary, "So grateful for you, Jamie. Love you so so much."

"Yeah, yeah, love you too," he says, brushing you off as you expected but with fondness in his tone as he pulls you even closer.

"Hey...you just said the award would be waiting. You're finally admitting that you're definitely getting it?"

He chuckles.

"Course I'm getting it. That award's mine, babe," he says, cocky smirk firmly on his face that you can only see in the reflection of the TV. Then he gasps, comically, "Do y' think they'll make Roy do me speech?"

You gasp right back, already feeling better.

"Yes! If you put it on now, we might be able to see him flip people off on the red carpet beforehand."

Jamie grins as he struggles to reach the remote and turns the TV on.

"Fuckin' genius, you are."

---

please see this post if you would like to request your own roy/jamie drabble!! closing soon <3

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt #ted lasso x reader #ted lasso #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt fluff #jamie tartt oneshot #busy week drabbles!

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 1 year

Text

Unexpected 34

Sequel to Unsolicited

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, pegging, Lloyd being the worst, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You used to long for lazy days. When you worked twelves and barely had enough time for sleep in between. After a week of lazy days, bound to the bed by back pain and Lloyd's overly mindful nagging, you are desperate to be mobile. At least he dropped the hospital thing after you told him no ten times.

You feel freer and looser. See, it always passes. You know your body. Even if it's changed beyond recognition, even as your tits balloon up and your stomach grows rounder by the day.

Besides, you don't go far from bed. The trip down to the sofa is enough to drain you. You lower yourself with a book and some fruity iced tea. The late spring light shines in and hints at the looming arrival of summer.

You're almost finished the book. A feat you've not made in years. You never had time to get past the third chapter but this one hand you by the throat from page one. You quickly lose yourself in the words, the pages open with the bottom of the spine propped up on your stomach.

The soft rustle of leaves and the song of birds adds to the calm hue of the day. It's almost too peaceful. In this house, that's rarely a good side. Something is always set to break the monotony. Rather, someone.

"There you are, peaches," Lloyd purrs coyly, "elusive as ever."

You don't look away from the book as you hear him behind you. You hum in response and restart the sentence. He comes nearer, his shadow looming over you as you try to keep your focus.

"What's up, baby cakes?" He massages your shoulders as he lurks behind the couch.

"Reading."

"Boring," he says as he bends down, his lips brushing your hair, "come on, put the book down."

"I'm almost done, you can bother me after."

He huffs. You can practically hear the mope. He pushes away from the sofa and his feet slap on the floor. His figure blurs above the top of the pages as you sense him watching you.

You try to ignore him. You squint until your brows hurt. You scowl and lower the book.

"Lloyd, please, I–"

You quiet as you get a good look at him. He wears only a black thong, his erection obvious as it's barely restrained by the fabric. You scoff as he flexes and turns, showing you his and the straps that angle at a slant.

He slaps his own ass as he poses for you. You gape, dumbfounded.

"What on earth–"

"Look, I'm not gonna lie, I'm desperate for you, doll face. This thing's tight as ballskin."

"I… I don't even know what to say to that."

"Look, sugar tits," he puts his hand on his hip, "you don't gotta say nothing but we both know once you get the strap on, you know exactly what to say."

'Not right now," you snort, "are you serious? I'm pregnant. Very pregnant."

"It'll fit under, I looked it up." He comes closer and reaches to wiggle free the book from your grasp, "tell me you haven't been dreaming of shoving something up my ass."

"No, because I know you enjoy it too much."

"Bah, baby," he shuts the book and tosses it aside, "it'll loosen us both up."

He takes your hands and pulls you to your feet. You narrow your eyes as his gaze slips from them. His brows raise slightly and he runs his touch along your stomach to cup your tits.

"Wow, I did not think these things could get better," he squeezes and you hiss.

"Ow," you slap his hands, "they're tender."

"They're fucking glorious. Shit, my dick is aching. I think it's gonna split if you don't start fucking me soon."

"That would be wonderful. Save us both a lot of trouble in the future."

"God, I love how you play hard to get," he groans and fondles your tits again, "maybe I should just titty fuck you then. That's always fun…"

"I'd rather the strap," you shove him away, "fine, if I do it, can I finish my book?"

"Right now I'm giving you permission to do anything you want to me, and after, you can go ahead and do whatever you want by yourself."

"Mmm, fair trade," you reach down and flick the leather at the front of the thong, "come on then, let's get it over with."

He winces and cups his crotch. It doesn't deter him though as he waves his other hand past you, "ladies first."

You hear the grit in his voice and it's enough to content you. You should take whatever chance you get to cause him some pain, even if in the end he likes it.

You round the couch and go out into the entryway. You take your time on the stairs. Not just because of your belly but because you can sense his impatience. He squeezes your ass as he follows you.

"God, I love this ass," he snarls, "mmm, the juiciest peach of all."

"You're so lame," you say breathless as you reach the top.

"For you, yeah," he snickers and strides ahead of you.

You trail him as he leaves the bedroom door open. As you get to the room, he has the strap ready to go. You roll your eyes but undress.

"I still don't think it will fit."

"Make it fit," he insists as he untangles it.

You unclasp your bra and take off the pregnancy belt. You groan at the ache in both breast and belly. You grab onto his shoulder and step into the harness.

He pulls it up and slides the curved end into your cunt. You twitch as he secures the straps beneath your bump. You didn't expect this to be more than a honeymoon thing but it's better than him trying to break your back.

He stands straight and looks you up and down. He brings his hands to either side of your belly and bends forward to kiss it. You wince as he keeps his head close to your bump.

“Look kid, you’re gonna have to close your ears for this one–”

“Ew!” You swat his head, “Lloyd, don’t.”

“Well?!” He stands and rubs his head, “I don’t wanna traumatize our kid.”

“Jesus, shut the fuck up. The kid won’t know–”

“Okay, at least I tried to be considerate.”

“Is that even a thing for you?”

He grimaces and shakes his head, “keep being such a bitch and I’m gonna cum before you even get the tip in.”

You give him a look but can’t resist how your insides flutter. The fullness in your cunt isn’t helping either. You really could use a nice orgasm to loosen up the last of the tension.

“Get on the fucking bed,” you point behind him.

“Yes, mistress,” Lloyd nearly dances before he turns around. “I’ll be a good slave boy.”

“Let’s not say that again,” you follow him as he hooks his thumbs in the sides of his thong.

“Nope, keep that on,” you order and smack his ass.

“Yes!” He gets on his knees and grabs the bottle on the bed. He holds it over his shoulder and you take the lube as he gets into position, “fuck, peaches, were you always such a domme?”

“Be quiet,” you pinch him and feel the strap angled along his cheek. You ooze out the lubes and let it run down in the crack of his ass. He’s almost shaking in excitement. “Don’t,” you warn as you notice his hand trail under him. “Don’t even think of touching yourself.”

“Yes, mistress,” he puts his hand flat with the other.

You stand on your toes and push the tip down between his cheeks. You glide it through the lube, spreading it around his hole. He groans as you prod him teasingly. You lean in just a little but relent, doing it over and over until he whimpers.

“Please just fuck me.”

You laugh and ease into him. Just the tip. He shudders and leans back into you. You grab the straps of the thong and push him off.

“Uh uh,” you tisk. “Turn over.”

He hesitates but obey. He lays on his back, his face flushed and his eyes sparkling. He brings his legs up, splaying himself for you as he clutches his thighs. You guide the toy down beneath him as his dick pokes slightly out of the thong.

You dip into him steadily until you reach the limit. It jolts the toy inside you and a trickle flows into your core. You rock back and watch his stomach clench. You grasp the thong with one hand as you start to fuck him. It slips further down, revealing half his length.

You watch how his throat bobs, his still unshaven stubble poking out across his chin and cheeks. He shakes each time you thrust. The sight of his pleasure is almost as intoxicating as your own mounts.

You tilt again and again. Losing yourself to your desire. Fuck, you feel it building in you, the tight coil spinning and spinning. You slam into him harder as you get closer and you brace his hip. You’re out of breath, your legs shaky.

You moan as he reaches to touch your hand. He quakes and lets out a guttural growl, “I’m gonna cum, baby.”

He grunts and spasm, his hole tightening around the toy as he babbles and slaps his hand against the bed. He cums with a strangled cry that sounds as stunned as it is delighted. His cum ribbons up his stomach as you bite your lip.

Your own climax crashes upon you swiftly but is cut short but a sudden zap up your spine. Fuck. You lean against him, keeping the weight off your stomach as you almost collapse. You spread your hand over his chest as you push your knees against the bed.

“Help!” You murmur.

#lloyd hansen #dark lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #series #unexpected #drabble #dark drabble #dark!drabble #the gray man

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theferricfox · 1 year

Text

Here's a cute little drabble for Momma Kuchel's birthday. I don't even know how I managed to punch this out so fast considering I've had so much writer's block lately that I could build a damned house with it.

“Hey, Ma?”

“Yes, darling?” Kuchel responds from the small bathroom adjoining their room. She brushes out her long, dark hair with an old horse-hair brush – the handle crumbling into splinters.

Levi sits on the edge of the bed, his chubby little legs dangling over the edge. He rocks them back and forth, leaning back to balance himself on the flat of his palms. He looks pensive – so serious for so small a face that it’s laughably adorable – as he watches his mother sort out her tangles.

“When’s your birthday, Ma?” Levi asks.

Kuchel pauses and sets down her hairbrush. She turns and walks to her son, kneeling on the half-rotten floor so she can be near eye-level with him.

“Why do you ask, angel?” she cups his cheeks and playfully squeezes, making giggles erupt from his lips.

“Well, we celebwate my birfday,” Levi says through the squish she’s made in his face. “But we neveh celebwate yoahs.”

Kuchel smiles softly and stands, picking him up along the way. She sways, humming a song as she thinks. She remembers that she was born in spring, but days bleed together down here. She wouldn’t know when the first of the month was if she didn’t get harassed to pay her room fee.

“Well,” she sings with a smile. “I am pretty sure it’s today.”

“Today?!” Levi nearly jumps from her arms at the news. “We gotta get you a sweet!”

Levi wriggles in her grasp eagerly.

“Down! Down!” he calls out.

When she sets him down, Levi rushes to the door of their room, standing on the very tips of his toes to pull at the handle.

“Levi, where are you going?” Kuchel chuckles as she pulls open the door and watches him shoot down the hallway, his bare feet slapping against the wood of the hallway.

“I’m gonna get you a sweet!” he calls back, halfway down the hall.

“Not without your shoes, mister man!” she calls back.

When Levi turns, she bends down to pick his shoes up and dangle them in front of her. He rushes back, twisting his feet into the tattered shoes as she slips her own on and stuffs a small wad of bills into her bra. The pair ready to go, Levi tugs on his mother’s dress.

“C’mon c’mon!”

Kuchel lets Levi lead her out and into the street, and although he clambers clumsily over the deep wheel tracks in the dirt roads, he resists being picked up and carried, wanting instead to guide her to the market. She has to gently remind him of the next turn a time or two, and when they arrive at the market street, he darts forward, his destination apparently firmly in mind.

She follows him to a small bakery stall where they usually buy their bread.

“Miss Caroleeeene!” Levi shouts, holding onto the table of the stall. His mop of black hair barely peeks over the edge, despite him standing on the tips of his toes.

“Caroline, darlin’,” Kuchel corrects gently as she approaches.

“Miss Caroleene,” Levi says, ignoring his mother. “I need a sweet please!”

Caroline, with bright golden hair and brilliant green eyes, leans over to smile at Levi.

“Well, hello, Levi dear. You need a sweet you say?”

“Yeah! It’s Ma’s birthday! I need a sweet to surprise her with!” Levi says eagerly, seemingly heedless of the meaning of a surprise.

“Well, that is a cause for celebration!” Caroline says warmly. “I just so happen to have this little cake that I think has your Momma’s name on it!”

Caroline leans over the counter to Kuchel and says, “I couldn’t get any milk, but I did get some eggs. Sugar’s kind of scarce right now too, so it’s not very sweet, hun.”

Kuchel waves her off and smiles.

“It’s no problem.”

“Ma!” Levi shouts. Kuchel sees him holding up one tiny hand, palm up. “Can I borrow some money real quick?”

Kuchel laughs and pulls a few bills out and hands them to Levi. He spins around and hands the bills to Caroline. The baker adds a few rolls of bread to the bag with the cake, takes the money and gives most of it back to Levi.

“That’s your change, darlin,” Caroline says. When Kuchel looks up at her with questioning look, she winks and says, “Happy birthday, Kuchel.”

Kuchel can’t help the small tears that come to the edges of her eyes as Levi spins around, money in hands and says, “That’s your change, Ma!” She whispers a quiet thank you to Caroline as Levi takes the bag and starts back to their room.

“What’s in the bag, honey?” Kuchel asks, playing along with Levi’s game from the stall.

“It’s a secret surprise!” Levi declares, hugging the bag close.

“Okay, then,” she says with a laugh.

She watches as Levi navigates them most of the way back to their room by himself, needing a gentle push in the right direction only once. Once back indoors, he scuttles down the hallway, calling behind him excitedly.

“Ma! Ma come quick I have a secret surprise for you!”

“I’m coming, angel!” she calls back. She tries to ignore sounds of moans, cries, and creaking beds from the other rooms as she passes by them on the way to her own.

Once back in their room and their shoes off, Levi urges Kuchel to sit on the floor with him, where he has already pulled out the small crate they use as a table, the bag sitting next to it. She does, a smile pasted onto her lips.

“Happy birthday, Ma! Happy happy birthday Ma!” Levi sings. He digs into the bag and places the small cake – the appearance of which resembles a large cracker more than a cake, onto the small cloth that serves as a plate. “Ta-da! Surprise I got you a sweet!”

Kuchel reaches over and pulls Levi into her lap, showering his face in kisses.

“Oh, thank you, my darling. What a wonderful birthday surprise you’ve given me.” She holds him close, tears in her eyes. “I have the very best son in the world.”

Levi squirms in her arms, reaches down and picks a piece off the cake and holds it against her lips.

“You gotta make a wish when you eat it okay?” Levi says, suddenly very serious. “And you gotta wish really hard or it won’t come true.”

Kuchel makes a show of closing her eyes and scrunching her face up, thinking of a wish before she opens her mouth wide and grabs Levi’s whole hand in a big, playful bite. The act makes him squeal in surprise and they fall into a fit of giggles as they finish off the cake together.

“What did you wish for, Ma?” Levi asks as he licks crumbs from his fingers.

“Now, that’s a secret just for me,” Kuchel whispers into another hug.

I wish for my boy to live long and in the light.

#kuchel ackerman #levi ackerman #ferricfox writes

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kynrki · 1 year

Text

MY ONLY LOVE!

pairing: niki x gn!reader, genre: fluff, warnings: a kiss, teasing, wc: 1086

AN — happiest of birthdays to the best boy out there🌟

“come one we gotta keep quiet” jungwon said as he pushed you outside the dorm door. it was your boyfriend, nikis, birthday and the boys wanted to celebrate it with him. but unfortunately niki had been a bit sad lately, as he didn’t have time to see you or even phone you, and you were ignoring his texts.

well, you weren’t ignoring them on purpose, you couldn’t really use your phone on an airplane. plus it was a surprise. since you knew he had been down lately due to his rambles to heeseung who told you, you decided to come out and visit him for the week. they anyways had off because of the world tour that had happened.

“niki!” jungwon knocked on his door. “go away hyung” he said as jungwon heard the bed sheets move. jungwon sighed and rolled his eyes before smiling slightly and opening his door. niki rolled over to look at jungwon, who had the rest of the members behind him, with a cake. “happy birthday to you” they all started singing.

niki smiled slightly at the thought that his members put a bit of effort in for him. they all gave him gifts too, he was forever thankful for his second family. they had managed to put a smile on the boys face after a week of being down. “hope you enjoy it niki bro” jake said as he placed a hand on his shoulder before walking out. the rest of the members followed after him except for jungwon.

“i have one last gift for you” jungwon said as he smiled at niki. niki looked at him in confusion, eyebrows furrowing in the process. jungwon had already gotten him something, something that was expensive might he add. “hyung its really no nee-“ “shush will you, jus take it please” jungwon interrupted him. “okay the gift is here, enjoy niki” he said before he walked out the younger boys room.

niki once again tilted his head in confusion. he saw a box left on the table they ate the cake from. he careful got up from the bed and moved closer to the table. on the box there stood, “to my only love, from yn” niki smiled as he thought about how you still made an effort to give him something. unbeknownst to him, you were standing right outside his door.

once he opened the box, there stood 2 bracelets. one with your name, for him, and one with his name, for you. he laughed as he remembered how he said he wanted a necklace with your initial on it. he picked up the piece of jewellery and held it in his hand. his smile slowly dropped at the thought of you not answering him anymore.

he sighed and put the bracelet back, before he closed the box he caught a glimpse of a note all the way at the bottom. he slowly picked it up and turned it around to read. it stood, “will you put the bracelet on me? - yn, p.s. look up” he furrowed his eyebrows before looking up at the door that was open.

his eyes widened. his jaw fell slack as the note in his hand fell onto the floor, long forgotten. was he seeing this right? there you were, standing in his doorway with his hoodie on. he rubbed his eyes to make sure he was seeing things right. “i promise im not fake” you said as you chuckled slightly, smiling at him.

he was frozen. his lips felt dry and so did his throat. it felt like forever since he saw you. he quickly got up and ran towards you, pulling you into his embrace tightly, placing his face into your neck. he breathed out a breath he didnt know he had. “youre here” he said into your neck. “i am baby” you whispered softly as you moved your hands from his back to his hair, softly playing with it.

niki had you in his embrace for about 5 minutes before you told him to let go of you. to his dismay, he had to. you walked out of nikis room, with a giant baby following you. you tried to grab your suitcase but was quickly denied as niki insisted he took it to his room for you.

after being rushed inti his room, he closed his door and climbed into bed, not before grabbing the bracelet box for you two. he quickly held out his hand and put the bracelet in your palm so that you could put it on for him. after you clicked in on, he grabbed your wrist and put your one on too, jus like you asked him in the note.

he then got comfortable on the bed and patted the spot next to him for you to lay. he sighed in content as he snuggled closer to you and had your hands playing with his hair.

“i hope you said thank you to jungwon for this, he was the one who helped me” you said as you looked down at niki. “i will tomorrow i promise, i jus want to spend my birthday with the person i love right now” he said with his eyes closed.

“was the reason you were ignoring me because you were traveling” niki asked after a while of silence. “yeah” you said. “sorry about that by the way, it was hard i wont lie but im here now” you continued as you looked down at him. “good, i was scared you were gonna break up with me or something” he said as he looked up at you. you frowned. “i doubt i’ll break up with you niki, youre the best” you said as you placed a kiss on his cheek. “good” he said as he laid his head back in your neck.

soon nikis breathing started to slow down indicating he was asleep. “i love you my boy, happy birthday” you whispered as you placed a kiss on his forehead. “i love you too, thank you” he said softly as he looked up at you. you smiled as you leaned down to kiss his lips. he gladly accepted it as he closed his eyes and relaxed in the kiss. he missed the taste of your cherry chapstick. you pulled away and gave him a another peck while smiling.

“lets go sleep now” you said as you pulled the covers over you both. he nodded his head before actually falling asleep this time.

ENHA permanent taglist! @soobin-chois @enhacolor @anotherimaginesaccount @hiqhkey @lil-iva @hearteyes4khloe @sunoo-bby @seung-scrittore @strwberrydinosaur @deeznutsriki @luvhooniez @ahnneyong @love-4-keum @kpoplover718 @nvertheless @02sjy @koufiles @w3bqrl @palajae @cowstiddymilk @bigtoewinwin @wtfhyuck @abdiitcryy @pshchives @kimmchijjajang @todorokiskitten @trsrina @shinsou-rii @jovibaes @yenqa @luveuly @nyfwyeonjun @ox1-lovesick @jwsflower @niktwazny303 @yjjungwon @starcubes @kkquum

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isa-ghost · 1 month

Note

was reading through your q!phil hc masterpost and was wondering if you could add any of your codebreakers/etoilza headcanons into the fray…? :3

YESSSS I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOOK THIS LONG TO GET ASKED /LH

qPhil headcanons masterlist

RESTATES for my and your convenience (heads up, there are suggestive/mildly explicit mentions!!):

--He's FWB with Etoiles. Extremely QPR, Etoiles is an aro king --He and Phil started out as friends and that has Barely changed if at all, but sparring matches get a little too homoerotic sometimes and neither of them can resist the other when they're popping off extra hard. Things have. Escalated a few times. If yknow what I mean. Of all Phil's harem members polycule partners, he & Etoiles have absolutely ZERO emotional investment in the Spicy(tm) things they do together. It's simply a very intimate way of showing each other their respect & admiration for the other. What they have going on is a "*spanks you* good game, let's hit the showers team" kinda deal. They're the type of mfs to finish in bed then shake hands like "gg." Casual sex is >>>> to these two, but it happens waaay less between them than it did Phil & Fit, Fitza was habitual (pre-Pac). Codebreakers is a once in a while thing --Etoiles has 100% asked Phil who fucks the best out of the polycule bc like everything else, it's a competition & he Must win, he Must have the best dick game. This amuses Phil very much --Phil is attracted to Etoiles the same way he's attracted to Fit, HOWEVER, the reasoning is different. Etoiles has raw skill and talent, but it's the way he wields it and demonstrates it that makes Phil wanna act up. Also Etoiles is fucking hilarious. Who can resist a good sense of humor? Those dramatics make Phil swoon --Etoiles is one of the people who is best at catching Phil's Tells for when something is wrong --Etoiles is one of few people who can convince (or goad) Phil into doing something he normally wouldn't, especially if he's drunk --Speaking of Phil being drunk around Etoiles, the way he can still absolutely body someone or snipe smth from miles away makes Etoiles want to kiss him stupid --Etoiles left a scar on Phil's back during Purgatory when he killed him Day 1. Phil didn't know for the longest time, but it took him a while to show him his wings after that. --Phil was genuinely afraid of Etoiles (& Fit) for a while after Purgatory --Sometimes Phil's laughs and startled yelps sound almost like squawks. Also his hiccups. It's very rare, but whenever it happens, he gets teased for it. Especially by Etoiles. --Phil goes back and forth on gifting one of his shed feathers to Etoiles --Technically all of the Polycule vs Ender King hcs apply to Etoiles in some way --Phil could listen to Etoiles teach him about French culture for hours

And now the new stuff :D

Etoiles's dramatics can get Phil in tears laughing. His sides and stomach will hurt before it's over, and Etoiles can go on for MINUTES. Sometimes he'll keep going purely because it has Phil dying so hard and he loves seeing what a kick Phil gets out of it

Etoiles is (playfully) salty that Phil is such a My Kids Come First kinda guy bc GOD does he want Phil to be down to do dangerous pvp and dungeon busting shit without the "euuu we gotta make sure it's safe" aspect more often. He wants that Angel of Death. Etoiles is the #1 Dadza (Derogatory) islander /lh

See, Fitza is more explicit and deadass about their,, Time together. Codebreakers is more subtle. Yknow that "media literacy is knowing when something that isn't gay sex is gay sex" post? That's Codebreakers. Sparring, dungeon busting, whatever high-risk high-exertion thing they're doing together. That.

It should go without saying how down Etoiles would be to throw hands with Ender King. It would be the most exhilarating fight he's ever had

Phil's still lowkey lost about the whole resistance thing. And schedules lately have not been kind to the two of them, so he hasn't had a chance to talk about it with Etoiles as extensively about it as he'd like to

Btw he's secretly concerned as hell smth bad is gonna happen to Etoiles if more of his body becomes corrupted by code :)

They 100% refer back to the time Etoiles said this regularly, and similar things like it. The same can be said for Fitza but my god the extent to which these two are more than willing to kill for each other. OUGH.

Phil does not realize how much pent up stress and emotion he can vent out via sparring or hitting something really fucking hard. Etoiles is going to fix that one day.

Phil's Etoiles impression has made Etoiles attempt to learn how to mimic Phil in retaliation but he cannot for the life of him get the hang of Phil's fuckass accent. Geordies stay winning to this man's dismay

Etoiles is frustratingly yet fascinatingly hard for Phil to clock sometimes. It's difficult to gauge exactly how he's feeling or what he's thinking. And yet as inconvenient that can be sometimes, something about it is incredibly attractive to Phil at the same time. Which is funny because unpredictability is usually not something his survivalist brain would like. Something about how he trusts Etoiles and therefore his being a wildcard is not so scary,,

Etoiles 🤝🏻 Chayanne - Wanting Phil to take them on a flight

I don't know if I'd call Etoiles an anarchist the same way I would Phil, but either way he is SO DOWN to fuck with the Feds if it entails any kind of pvp or the need to be geared up

Ok listen I have to call back to the gay sex subtext thing. Things that are more sex than gay sex to Codebreakers: Sparring, adrenaline, battles of wit, flexing powerful gear, thinking too much about what an absolute potential killing machine the other is, watching one another be in The Zone during a fight

Phil has more physical strength than skill with weapons and Etoiles has more skill with weapons than physical strength. Ok now imagine that while they're in a 2v# fight

I would not put it past Etoiles to pull a Missa and say smth wildly out of pocket and suggestive so fast in French that Phil doesn't catch it.

#qsmp #qsmp philza #philza #q!philza #qphil headcanons #qsmp etoiles #q!etoiles #etoiles #codebreakers #qsmp codebreakers #q!codebreakers

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justauthoring · 6 months

Text

the bond - chapter twelve.

*bond: a relationship between people or groups based on shared feelings, interests, or experiences.

word count: 7037

based off of: 3x01, 3x02 & 3x03

a/n: beginning of seasonnnnn threeeeeeeee

tag list: @ernyaeger - @luvelyxp - @urfictional - @decaffeinatedtealover - @ange-lica-3 - @midzuumi - @leiriswhore - @urfictional - @frasheliza - @echothy - @usernamehere91 - @happygirl5798 - @dwarfnip - @hegdus let me know if you’d like to be added!

“They’re fighting again.”

“They’re always fighting,” you remind, rolling your eyes with a quick glance in Historia’s direction. She smiles lightly at that, Mikasa choosing to remain silent, while you can’t help but snort softly to yourself, stepping ahead of the two of them to pull open the door. You let them slip by first, coming in after them, the second you’re in, you cast a quick glance at Jean whose eyes are already on you.

Almost instantly, both of your eyes divert from one another, a light blush dusting across your cheeks as you hear Mikasa call out; “we’re back.”

“Wait,” Armin calls out, eyes wide with concern as he makes his way over to the three of you. “Were you just chopping firewood?”

Mikasa shrugs; “gotta stay in shape.”

“You got grabbed by a Titan!” Armin recalls with urgency, stepping towards Mikasa, shaking his head. “You should be in bed.”

“That’s why we were there,” you offer, gesturing to yourself and Historia, leaning past Mikasa with a small smile on your face as you try to ease Armin’s worries. “I made sure she didn’t strain herself too much.”

Armin just continues to stare in worry, eyes flickering from your own to Mikasa’s.

“It’s no use anyways,” Eren chimes in, his grip on the broom in his hand slacking as he huffs in exaggeration. “I try to stop her, but she won’t listen.” Unphased as usual, Mikasa simply steps forward, leaving your side as Eren adds; “I saw her doing sit-ups earlier!”

Glancing over to Eren, you raise a brow, that’s bound to–

“How dare you, you peeping Tom!” Jean cries, voice twisting with indignation as he turns back toward Eren.

Yup. Figured.

“Huh?!” Eren calls back, just as frustrated, “how does that constitute “peeping”?!”

“That’s enough, you two,” you call, thoroughly exasperated with their arguing. It’s been non-stop lately, and although you cherished both of them deeply, you were, quite frankly, sick and tired of hearing them argue. Especially this early in the morning.

And honestly, you didn’t really want to hear them argue over Mikasa like that – or rather, hear Jean argue over Mikasa like that.

Reaching forward, you set your hand on Jean’s shoulder, giving it a light tug as you pull him back; “stop fighting.”

Both go to defend themselves, before;

“It’s almost like we’re back in the Cadet Corps.”

It’s Sasha who says it. Everyone’s attention falls on her in surprise at her words, an admittance you’re sure everyone’s been feeling but too scared to say – it did feel like you were back in the Cadet Corps. Only, you were missing some people.

“Yeah…” Armin agrees faintly, “why do you figure we were chosen for the new Levi Squad, though? Protecting Eren and Historia is such an important mission…”

“Because we’re talented, I assume.”

Honestly, you have to give her credit. Her words don’t falter at all – even as she slips a potato into her bag.

It seems you’re not the only one who notices either. Armin, face darkening with realization, calls out; “Sasha… what did you just put in your bag?”

“That would be bread,” you chime in, raising your finger in her direction.

She sends you a glare; “no! In fact, it’s nothing bread-related!”

“Why, you!” Jean calls out, stepping towards Sasha, Eren trailing closely behind him.

Connie turns to her, setting his hands on his hips; “give it back.”

“Hey, focus!” Eren calls desperately, “we gotta finish cleaning before the captain gets back!”

“Put back the bread!”

They all move to argue, and just as you go to help, a slam behind you causes you to jump, freezing in your spot. You slowly glance over to Historia who's still standing on your left, and it seems she’s noticed the same thing as a figure falls in front of her, blocking her from your view before you slowly flicker your gaze up, wincing when you realize your fears were correct.

It’s Captain Levi.

“What’s this commotion about?”

None of them except for Eren notices him, not at first.

“Guys,” you hiss, trying to get their attention.

But Levi doesn’t say anything. Not at first. He just steps towards the table in the middle of the room, letting his hand drift across the bottom of it, and it’s then that everyone’s attention snaps to him, waiting with bated breath.

You swear you hear it, through the thick silence that swallows you all, the sound of little dust particles hitting the ground as he pulls his hand away, glancing at it briefly before turning to the group. “I’m quite sure I gave you enough time,” he says, voice blunt and emotionless.

You wince, glancing to your feet.

“Anyways,” he continued, raising a cloth to wipe at his hands. You blink, surprised at the lack of anger — normally laziness (in his mind at least) was punished far more severely. “We’ll discuss your cleaning job another time. Eren.” The captain shifts his body towards said boy. “Hange is itching to get the experiment started.”

“R-Right.”

THE FIRST WEEK THERE

“You okay?”

Blinking, you glance up, eyes widening at the sight of Jean. he’s leaning against the door to the room you shared with Sasha, Mikasa, and Historia, a tint of concern in his eyes as he stares back at you.

“Jean,” you call, surprised, “what’re you doing here?”

“I finished helping Hange’s team with the cleanup, and I couldn’t find you. Eren said you practically rushed in here the second you got back.”

Cheeks warming, you glance at your feet; “Levi assigned me cleaning, as usual. I thought I’d start with the girls room.”

“And it’s got nothing to do with the failed experiment?”

Meeting Jean’s gaze, you frown. “No.”

But he just raises a brow.

“Fine,” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest as you glare at him. “But I don’t want Eren knowing that. He already feels bad enough as it is, I don’t need to make him feel more guilty–”

“Tch,” Jean scoffs, rolling his eyes as he makes his way over to you. “I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“Jean,” you sigh, “I’m serious. It’s silly anyway.” You brush off with a shake of your head.

“No,” Jean says quietly, “it’s not stupid. Especially if you’re upset.”

Eyes widening, you try to fight the blush that threatens to flood your cheeks, averting your gaze to your feet as you swallow thickly. Why’d he have to go and say things like that? All the time? Always flustering you and catching you by surprise… he was lucky no one else was around to witness this, or you’d beat him up.

“I just thought I’d be able to go back home soon is all…” you whisper, digging your nails into the skin of your arm to hold back just how upset you really feel. It was selfish. You knew how hard Eren had been trying and this whole thing of him being able to shift into a Titan was still so unknown too – and to him most of all. You didn’t want him thinking he had another reason to feel awful about it, which you knew he would if he somehow found out.

“Oh, yeah,” Jean nods, “you came from Shiganshina, right?”

Biting your lip, you nod. “Yeah,” you whisper, and you swear if you close your eyes you can see the streets you used to run through, can see Ms. Schneider smiling at you from across the way and hear your mothers voice calling for you from the next room over…

“I just… when it happened, when Reiner and Bartholdt kicked that hole into that wall, I left everything behind.” Your mother included, but you don’t mention that. “I know it’s all destroyed, it would just be nice to see it again.”

There’s a beat of silence, before you feel Jean shuffle. He steps closer to you, and then suddenly he’s right in front of you, inches apart – your head raises and you feel your cheeks warm at the intimate distance. It was always like this between him and you. You never knew how to gauge his actions. He could be so oblivious sometimes, loud and boisterous and always fighting or yelling (specifically with Eren) and then sometimes, rarer–moments like these… it’d just be the two of you and he’d be so… different.

Not in a bad way and not in the way that you meant you didn’t like who Jean was any other time. You’ve long accepted that your feelings for Jean were less than simply platonic, but you were too afraid of saying anything. Sasha often teased you, but she at least had the decency to do so when Jean wasn’t around. And you didn’t miss the looks Historia or Mikasa would send you, small smiles on their lips when they’d notice you blushing after Jean had done something. You knew how you felt about Jean, but you didn’t know how he felt about you.

You liked to think, or maybe hope, that he returned your affections and moments like these made you feel like maybe that hope wasn’t so sillily placed. There’d be times where he was so gentle around you, his voice would lower and his tone would turn serious, his eyes focused on your own… he’d go out of his way to help you with things, rushing to open the door for you when your hands were full, or offer to help you with your chores. Things like that.

Things that made you feel like maybe, just maybe, he liked you too.

But then he’d argue with Eren, and some way or another the topic would hint at or lead to Mikasa and your hopes would get crushed with a blink of an eye.

It was confusing. Too confusing. It makes your heart feel like a scrambled mess of emotions and your brain loses focus.

Jean sets his hand on your arm, pulling you from your thoughts as your lips part and you glance up at him.

“I’ll make sure that one day you’ll get to see your home.”

Eyes widening, you feel your heart flutter, a warmth spreading through you.

“Somehow, some way. I promise.”

He’s grinning wide at you, in that typical way of his; cocky but endearing at the same time and you find yourself at a loss for words, brain fumbling for something to say as you feel your stomach erupt with butterflies and your chest tighten in response.

“So, try to cheer up, okay?”

Swallowing thickly, you nod; “o-okay.”

His hand is falling from your arm, and you find yourself missing the contact, his touch warm and comforting. His lips are moving and you’re pretty sure he’s saying something about having to help Armin with dinner that night, but you don’t hear any of it, simply nodding numbly as you watch him leave. The second you’re alone, a breath slips past your lips and you feel yourself hot, pressing your palms to your cheeks as you shake your head.

You were acting like a frazzled little girl. But still, you couldn’t help it.

Seriously.

Why did he have to go and say something like that?

Another failed experiment.

It’s hard not to feel discouraged after so many failed attempts, and the mission for retaking Wall Maria to be pushed back further and further with the looming threat of it being shelved all together. Although you hadn’t expressed it to anyone other than Jean, and even then that had been minimal, the idea of being able to return home had filled you both with hesitance and urgence. The idea of being able to reclaim the wall and go back home was a soothing one in the same way it was a harrowing thought; the village was demolished after everything that had happened, there would probably be remains of the people who’d been left there to die, objects left in the wake of their panic to get out. Houses destroyed, buildings unrecognizable, the same streets you’d walked along your entire childhood would be nothing but littered with the remnants of those who’d died.

That was where your mother died. That was where you watched her get stomped on, crushed beneath Titan feet, left to nothing but pieces of a body on the ground.

That was where Ms. Schneider died. All alone. Sacrificing herself so that you could get on that boat.

And yet, it was the place you’d grown up. Your home had been where you’d taken your first steps, where you’d stay with your mother for hours while she read to you as a little girl, those streets had been the same ones you’d walked every morning to Ms. Schneider’s house so you could help her out with the daily errands. You’d spent every moment until you were ten there, and despite everything you missed it. Craved for it. Even if you knew you’d be disappointed by what you’d see if you ever made it back.

Even though you knew it’d never be the way it was.

It was your home.

It was where all your memories of your mom existed. Of Ms. Schneider.

When the mission had first been told to you, you’d had to pinch yourself to stop a reaction that would get you in trouble. You’d been both terrified and excited, but all the same, you’d wanted to. You wanted to go back. You want to take back Wall Maria, and you want to go back to Shiganshina.

But now it feels like you never will.

Not to mention… finding out a man had been tortured and murdered for information on you all? On Eren and Historia? Because they were so desperate to find all of you…

Whatever your feelings on Pastor Nick had been, a man had still been murdered. Tortured.

Meaning only one thing, just like Levi had said, the Military Police was after you all, for information, because you were harboring Historia and Eren.

And now this? Forced to leave the house you’d been hiding in for weeks, forced to leave in a rush, hastily erasing every trace of any of you existing.

It was hard to stay positive after so many failures.

Staring ahead, you watch from a distance as the Military Police break into the house, forcing their way in and destroying everything in sight for even the briefest glimpse of any of you. It was hard to ignore the fear thick in your throat or the way your hand shook holding the gun Levi had handed you, standing there, shocked.

“That was close…” you hear Connie mumble, “if we hadn’t left right then, what would’ve happened to us?”

“But why?” Armin presses, “what would make Commander Erwin…?”

“New orders came from the government,” Levi explains as Armin turns to him. “There’s been a freeze on all Scout Regiment activity outside the wall. They’re telling us to hand over Eren and Historia.”

Eyes widening, you turn, facing Levi.

“By the way,” the Scout that had handed Levi the note from Commander Erwin, Nifa, says, “right after he gave me the message… the Military Police came for him…”

“So he’s been arrested?” you whisper, glancing around in panic.

“That’s treating him like some sort of criminal!” Hange calls out in disbelief.

Levi just shakes his head. “Someone’s not working from the shadows anymore. They’re moving for all eyes to see.”

“To go that far to protect the wall’s secrets…” Hange mumbles, “what’s more, why do they want us to hand over Eren and Historia? Not to kill, but for them to obtain?”

“Who knows?” Levi shakes his head, scoffing at the reality of it all. “Anyways, it’s clear the enemy is after these two. Loitering around here is dangerous.” He steps forward then, nodding to everyone. “We’re moving her and Eren to Trost District.”

That catches everyone's attention.

“Why?” Moblit argues, “that’s the same place Pastor Nick was killed.”

“It’s worse to head towards the interior. With Trost in a panic, it should be easy to slip in. and if somehow it comes down to it, we can use these in the city,” shifting, he pulls back his jacket, gesturing to his OMNI gear.

“True…”

“Plus,” Levi continues, “not knowing the enemy puts us in a tough spot. We need to find out who's behind this. Hange, lend me some of your squad.”

They agree without hesitation, “of course.” Then, pausing in thought, they nod to themselves. “All right, I’m going after Erwin. Moblit’s with me. The rest of you will follow Levi.”

“Roger!”

Turning, Moblit trails closely behind them as they move to their horses. Just as Hange’s about to climb on their own, Eren calls out; “Hange!” Stepping forward, he holds his hand out, a sheet of paper held out towards them, “here. I remembered a conversation between Ymir and Bertholdt. Didn’t get time to tell you, but it’s here.”

Taking the slip of paper, Hange nods; “all right. I’ll take a look at it later.”

They get on their horse, and then, both Hange and Moblit take off.

It felt weird walking in Trost.

Especially with the looming threat of not knowing who the enemy was. Who was watching.

You’d all only been walking through Trost for a few moments, Sasha and Connie muttering quietly to themselves as Levi ordered you all to remain calm and not to cluster as a group to look suspicious.

It was hard not to. Especially given that Levi had ordered you to keep an eye on ‘Eren’ and ‘Historia’, otherwise known as Jean and Armin disguised as both. It was obvious what Levi’s plan was, and you had to admit, for the lack of knowledge you all had and the disadvantage you all stood at, it was a smart plan.

You just hated the thought of Jean being used as bait.

It was bound to go wrong eventually. You’re not so much surprised at the fact it’s happened but rather at how quickly it had when Levi suddenly spins, hand stretched out before him as he cries out; “everyone, look out! Behind you!”

But it’s a second too late. A glance back, and you barely had time to move out of the way before a wagon comes barelling, knocking you off your feet as you stumble, losing your balance. The wagon disappears just as quickly as it had appeared, and gathering your bearings, your eyes widen when you see it racing off, both Jean and Armin having been grabbed along the way.

“Armi–” Stopping herself, Sasha holds her hand out, shaking her head; “I mean, Christa and Eren! They got snatched away again.”

Sitting up, you glance over at Levi for a moment, before pushing yourself to your feet.

There was no time to waste.

THE NIGHT BEFORE

“If she’s going in, so am I.”

“Honestly, Y/N, it’s not that–”

“No, Jean,” you cut off, meeting his eyes briefly, “it is a big deal.”

“Y/L/N–”

“I’m just as good,” you argue, spinning to face Levi, ignoring for a moment that he’s your superior and if you were in your right mind you would never talk to him like this. “I can fight hand to hand, and if you’re not going to listen to me about using them as bait then I’m going in with Mikasa.”

Sighing, Levi’s shoulders fall, pressing a hand to his forehead. “You’re usually not this disobedient, Y/N.”

Faltering slightly at that, you flush, glancing down at your feet. “Please, Captain, I can help. I’ll be more helpful down there then up with Connie and Sasha.”

“Fine,” Levi relents, “but you follow her lead. And you stay quiet. Don’t get yourself caught or you screw up the entire plan.”

Nodding without hesitation, he glances at you once more before stalking off. You glance over at Mikasa, who simply nods at you, but you see the faint smile on her lips, before walking off herself. Eventually, you realize, it’s just you and Jean.

“What’d you do that for? Captain Levi is not someone to mess with.”

Glancing over at Jean, you huff; “I wanna be there to help you.”

“It’s not like Mikasa wouldn’t be capable.”

You pause at that, turning away from him as you cross your arms over your chest. Of course you knew Mikasa was capable of handling all of those men on her own, realistically, you thought she could take down a whole army by herself sometimes. But still, did he not have faith in you? Maybe he thought you were being a burden just like you’re sure Captain Levi did…

But no. You were capable. Not that it mattered so much anymore, but you’d ranked only second to her – you were strong. And perfectly capable. What good would you be as a lookout? And it wasn’t like you had Sasha’s archery skills…

You could be back up. Miss the ones that slipped by Mikasa or… or something.

“I know that,” you hiss, shaking your head, “I just wanted to help.”

It must be the way you say it. You’re not facing him so you don’t even properly notice, but suddenly Jean’s eyes widen and he’s stepping towards you as you shuffle away from him, hugging yourself, before he sets his hand on your shoulder and tugs so you’re facing him.

“I’m sorry,” he offers gently as you slowly raise your eyes to meet his. “You’re the only one who argued against using me and Armin as bait. I understand why we’re being asked to but still… thank you.”

Swallowing thickly, you’re glad it’s dark out so Jean can’t notice how red your cheeks are.

“You’re welcome,” you mumble, unable to ignore the way your heart races in response.

The plan had succeeded without a hitch.

Nothing wrong had happened.

You were able to retrieve Jean and Armin with ease, and the men who had taken them were, quite honestly, idiots.

They hadn’t even been good fighters. You and Mikasa had been able to take them out in seconds, and you were sure that even if you or her hadn’t been there, one of you would’ve been enough – they were fools.

And that plan had finished with ease.

It was almost too easy.

“Gun shots!”

Raising a brow, you glance over at Sasha who’s stood beside you, taking in the look of wild panic in her eyes.

“From there!”

Connie presses his hands to the back of his ears, cupping them in an attempt to hear better but you just shake your head.

“This isn’t good,” you frown, glancing ahead of you in the direction she’d pointed. “Sasha’s hearing is seriously not something to doubt.” You glance up at Mikasa and Jean. “Something’s wrong.”

“You think something happened?” Jean questions, on the roof next to yours, slightly higher.

“Most likely,” Mikasa agrees with you, pulling your eyes on her in surprise. “The Captain had this message for us… from now on, we’ll be fighting humans, too, and not just Titans.”

Inhaling sharply, you shake your head.

“Huh?” Jean calls, “you mean…?”

She races forward in the next second, clicking her omni gear in action, and with a single glance Jean’s way you follow after her. It had felt wrong to you the second you’d been able to save Jean and Armin with barely any effort. No, it had felt wrong the second they even fell for this trap – you figured the Military Police wouldn’t be fooled by such simple disguises, and certainly not let them be saved without putting up more of a fight.

It’d be an embarrassment to them. It wouldn’t look good on their image.

There was something terribly wrong.

The rest catch up with ease, probably only having waited a second after you and Mikasa, and you keep your eyes peeled, trying to spot either Levi or Eren and Historia.

“Hey!” Connie bellows from your left, your eyes falling on him before lowering to follow his gaze. Your eyes widen. “There’s Eren!”

They’ve been captured. The wagon they’d been hidden in had the top pulled off and by the looks of it, the both of them were knocked out with their hands tied behind their backs. You didn’t recognize the woman steering the wagon either.

A second later, a blur breezes by.

“It’s Captain!”

As soon as the words leave your lips, a figure gains on him. Panic floods you when you see the man pull out his gun and aim it right at Levi, with the intent to kill.

“What the hell!”

If it wasn’t for how skilled Levi was, he probably would’ve been shot – instead, he’s able to narrowly dodge the bullet, swinging his body around and latching the hooks of his OMNI gear right into the man's stomach before zipping forward and slicing him right across the chest with his blades; effectively killing him.

Feeling sick, you swallow back the bile that threatens to come pouring out.

Is that what you were expected to do…

Landing on the side of the building, Levi glances back at the six of you as you get closer; “chase the wagon!” he orders.

“Yes,” Mikasa calls out in response.

“Listen up,” Levi warns, following into step with you, “they’re used to fighting other people! They already got three of ours.” A series of gasps leaves all of your mouths. “If we’re gonna get those two back, you can’t hesitate! If you get the chance to kill, you do it. Got it?”

It’s only a second before Mikasa responds; “roger.”

But you can’t muster the words.

Levi zips forward, pulling the guy standing on the back of the wagon off, before calling over his shoulder; “Armin! Jean! Secure the wagon! We’ll cover you!”

You glance back, watching as Armin calls out for Jean with urgency before the two land on the wagon. Just as the woman steering the wagon raises her gun, Mikasa flies into her, knocking her off her balance, so she falls right in front of Jean, his blade held at her throat. Even from where you are, you can see his hand shaking, and eyes focused on him, you see the woman’s body move before she does, his name leaving your lips in a cry as he’s flipped to his butt, a gun held to his head.

Your heart falls to the pit of your stomach, fear striking you. You don’t notice the body creeping up behind you, hyper-focused on Jean as you desperately try to make your way to him before the woman presses the trigger.

He can’t die.

You can’t… you can’t lose him too.

“Y/N! Behind you!”

It’s Levi who calls for you, pulling you from your thoughts as you gasp in surprise, glancing over your shoulder only to see the barrel of a gun staring back at you. The man holding it is grinning at you wickedly, and it feels like time slows as you see his finger move, pressing slowly against the trigger, twisting your body so that you shift to the right, before a sharp pain radiates through your entire left arm, a cry leaving your lips. The pain and pressure causes your left hand to twitch, losing the grip on your trigger so you don’t hook on the wall across from you properly, freefalling for a brief moment before your body crashes into the ground a second later, the pain spreading across your entire body as you skid across the ground.

Shit.

You fucked up. You’d been too distracted, too worried about Jean, you hadn’t been aware of your surroundings and you’d gotten hurt because of it. Had anyone else–

Forcing your body over, you just managed to catch sight of Levi slicing his blade towards the man who’d shot you, stopping him from coming after you like you realize he’d been about to. Levi’s head turns over his shoulder just as he finishes, obviously trying to assess how hurt you were, but you shake your head, trying to sit up enough to glance in the direction of the wagon.

Jean.

You needed to know if Jean was okay.

“Y/N!”

It’s Connie and Sasha, landing right next to you before the latter falls to her knees in front of you, pulling you into her arms.

“I’m fine,” you brush off, voice breathless, trying to ignore the excruciating pain radiating through your entire body. “I’m fine. Is Jean…” You’re trying to catch your breath, trying to force the words out as panic seizes your entire body. You haven't been able to see–you never had the time to make sure. “Is Jean okay?”

Sasha just glances up at Connie who, pacing on his feet, shuffling forward, tries to get a look. “He’s okay,” he calls, and instantly, your shoulders sag with relief, letting yourself fall into Sasha’s grip a bit. “Armin too. Mikasa and Captain grabbed them but they got the wagon. They got Eren and Historia!”

No.

Letting out a hiss, the panic comes back and you try to stand up; “we have to go after them!”

“Y/N!” Sasha cries, pulling you back. “You’re bleeding, you have to stop!”

Gritting your teeth, you reluctantly let Sasha pull you back down, your vision blurring momentarily as the pain catches up to you. It isn’t just your arm, your ribs hurt too… you must have hurt them when you crashed on the ground because your breath felt short and it hurt to try to breathe in more.

Everything hurt.

God, you shouldn't have let yourself get distracted.

But Jean… you’d thought Jean was going to die.

“Y/N?” A new voice calls, and you blink through the pain to see Jean racing towards you, Armin trailing behind him looking quite sick. He comes to a stop right in front of you, eyes wide with terror as he takes you in. You can’t see yourself, but you gather from the look on his and everyone else's face, it isn’t good. You know you’re bleeding, but Sasha won’t let you sit up enough to take a look at your arm.

But shit–it hurts.

“What happened?” Jean cries, “is she okay?”

“She got shot,” Sasha calls out, shaking her head, “I don’t know what to do. She’s bleeding really bad.”

Jean’s lips part to say something, but before he can a voice interrupts him.

“We need to get off the streets, now!”

“Captain!” Sasha cries, “It’s Y/N! She’s hurt!”

“I’m fine–” you try to argue, but Levi is suddenly kneeling in front of you, pulling you away from Sasha as he leans over, taking a look at your arm. “Shit,” he curses, then, slowly, his eyes flicker to you. “Did you get hurt anywhere else?”

Swallowing thickly, you hesitate.

“Y/N!”

“My-My ribs,” you whisper, turning away from him. “I got knocked off balance and I think I may have bruised them when I crashed into the ground. It hurts to breathe…”

Levi glances at you for a second more, before he looks up, surveying the area. “Okay, Jean, help me get her up.” Nodding, Jean rushes forward like he’d been waiting anxiously for the chance, and you feel the two of them slip their arms under you before pulling you up. They hesitate a moment when you let out a cry involuntarily, it cutting short as you bite your lip, ignoring the look Jean sends you as their movements slow, feeling the agonizing pain continue until you’re finally on your feet.

“Mikasa, Sasha, use your gear, get ahead and find a place we can hide in.” Mikasa only hesitates a second, sending one last glare Levi’s way before the two of them head off. “Armin, are you okay?”

Your eyes fall on the boy, taking in how pale he is.

“F-Fine.”

It’s obvious he’s not, but he’s trying.

“Okay,” Levi nods, “Connie, Armin, follow Mikasa and Sasha, keep an eye out. Jean,” you watch as his eyes turn to Jean next to you. “Me and you are gonna help Y/N, okay?”

Feeling embarrassed by how useless you were, you glance at your feet.

Jean nods without hesitation, worried eyes drifting across you briefly before turning back to Levi.

“Okay.”

“I pulled out the bullet, got the bleeding to stop and bandaged it. I don’t think your ribs are broken, just bruised. You should be okay.”

Glancing up at Levi, you swallow thickly, nodding as you keep your eyes trained ahead of you, up at the ceiling of the warehouse Sasha and Mikasa had managed to find. The second Jean and Levi had brought you there, Levi had ordered Sasha to find something for him to clean the wound with and some bandages before setting you up on your bed cot that Jean had moved to lay out for you.

Levi had then proceeded to bark at the rest of them to leave and get dinner ready, and all had followed without hesitation, though Sasha had lingered briefly with worry back at you. Jean was the one who didn’t move, just staring back at you as you tried to avoid his gaze, until Levi had ordered him to leave once more, voice sharp. He’d left then, eyes never leaving yours until you were out of sight. The second you were alone, Levi had gotten started. You’d gritted your teeth but had refused to cry out as Levi pulled the bullet out of your arm. He didn’t have the right tools, so you imagine it was more painful than it would’ve normally had been, but you tried to not let it show. You were embarrassed enough as it was, feeling useless and like an idiot.

You were skilled and you knew that.

You knew you were better than that.

You’d just been so afraid… petrified at the thought of losing Jean that nothing else had mattered.

At least it was you that had been hurt as a result. If someone else had gotten hurt, you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself.

At your silence, Levi sighs, slowly pushing himself to a stand, moving to make his way over to the others.

“Captain?”

Pausing in his steps, Levi glances down at you.

You raise your gaze to his, frowning; “I'm sorry.”

You didn’t need to say what. You knew he knew.

His eyes drift across you, slowly, then, his eyes soften, just the slightest, and your lips part.

“Not your fault, Y/N.”

He turns with that, not saying anything else and not giving you the chance to say anything either. But, his words provide a sense of comfort, allowing your body to ease, even just a bit, as you turn your head. You hadn’t known what to think of the Captain the first time you’d met him. You’d known who he was, of course you did – everyone knew who he was. Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. But when you finally met him, he’d seemed cruel and distant and Mikasa had complained about him enough to you to sway your opinion a bit; calling him a heartless asshole because he’d beaten the shit out of Eren the day in trial when he’d been arrested.

Still, there had been something.

His words were short and not overly friendly or compassionate, but they’d been enough. Truly, if he had coddled you, it would’ve made you feel worse and you think he knew that.

Minutes pass as you lay there. You can hear the rest of them chatting in the next room over, but you just try to let your eyes rest, ignoring the pain that aches every time you shift just briefly. You needed to take this opportunity to rest, you refused to let yourself be any more useless than you already have been.

A pair of footsteps echo about an hour after Levi had left you, pulling your eyes over and onto Jean. He’s holding a bowl in his hands, and there’s a distant look in his eyes as he slowly makes his way over to you. You frown at the sight of the troubled look on his face. You’d overheard briefly what Armin had been forced to do in those moments where you’d gotten hurt, how Jean hadn’t, like you’d seen, been able to kill and so Armin was forced to – to save Jean. You couldn’t imagine how Armin felt, and from the brief seconds you’ve seen him, he hadn’t looked well.

But you imagined Jean felt terrible himself – in a different way. Riddled with the guilt that he hadn’t been able to do it and Armin had had to kill for his sake. It was a different feeling, one you couldn’t say you even understood; just like you couldn’t begin to understand how Armin had felt. You’d gotten yourself stupidly hurt while they’d all been risking their necks…

The guilt though? That you could understand.

“I figured you’d be hungry,” Jean offers when he feels your eyes on his, slowly blinking out of his own stupor to meet your gaze. Coming to a stop in front of you, Jean lowers himself so he’s sitting directly in front of you, glancing down at you. “How’re you feeling? Captain wouldn’t let me see you right away. Said he had to get the bullet out and then told me I should let you get some rest first. Was only able to sneak off with the excuse of giving you some food.”

A small smile curls on your lips at that; happy with the thought that Jean, despite everything, had been so worried for you.

Eyeing the bowl in his hands, you’re suddenly sick of being stuck on your back, and you shift, ignoring the sharp pain that radiates through you as you press your palms on either side of you to push yourself up. You hear Jean call your name in worry, but you continue to push yourself, lips pursed in effort as you feel his hands tentatively fall on you, hovering for a moment before he helps set you up so you’re sitting facing him, leaning against the wall behind you.

“You should be resting,” Jean frowns.

“I’m tired of laying down,” you argue, shaking your head as you take the bowl from his hands. It’s a small ration, something you’d expected given all of you were on the run and hadn’t had much time to grab anything besides the necessary. You let yourself ponder on how much everything has changed in such a short amount of time, how Eren and Historia had been taken…

So much had gone wrong.

“I messed up today,” you whisper, stirring the soup for a moment, feeling your chest tighten as you utter the words.

Jean breathes in, slowly, with how quiet it is you can hear it clearly, before he exhales. “I did too,” he mumbles, “it’s okay.”

“Everything just went to shit so quickly,” you huff, meeting his eyes as you frown up at him, trying to ignore the way you feel your eyes watering. You refused to let yourself cry, not now, not after everything. You already felt useless, you wouldn’t let yourself get emotional over it. “It’s just…”

And you pause a moment, not sure if you should say the words. But when you meet Jean’s warm brown eyes staring back at your own, not a single sound other than your voice, and the two of you tucked away from prying eyes of the rest of the team, you realize you want to. If there was one thing today had taught you is that you never know what might happen next, you never know when you might die… and as much as it hurts to think, you never knew when Jean might die. You would do anything to stop that from ever happening… but where you were now? What you were fighting for?

It would be silly to think it could never happen.

“Jean,” you whisper, “when I saw that woman point her gun at you, I… I couldn’t breathe. I felt stuck and this terror climbed up my throat and I wasn’t able to move even though I wanted to so badly… It’s why that man snuck up on me, if it wasn’t for Captain calling for me I might’ve been dead right now.”

Lips parting, Jean’s eyes widen; “Y/N, you…”

You set the bowl aside, half-hazardly laying it beside you that some of it splashes out in your rush. You ignore the pain that lashes out at you as you reach forward, with your good arm, and take Jean’s hand in your own, squeezing as you meet his gaze. “It made me realize how dangerous our lives are… with everything happening, Eren and Historia and being on the run, I…” Inhaling sharply, you try to ignore the nerves that crawl in your belly, making your hand shake and squeeze Jean’s own tighter. “It made me realize how-how I feel… about you…”

Jean doesn’t move. Doesn’t say anything.

The anxiety grows, thickens, and you rush to say more.

“When I saw the gun pointed at you, I nearly lost my mind.” You explain, “but I also realized that sometimes… I might not be able to do anything. Not with how our lives are. Someday, you could die… I could die… But I don’t want that to happen without you ever knowing my feelings.” Then, exhaling shakily, you add; “for you. I don’t know when they started, I mean,” you let out a small laugh, “I was so sure I hated you when I first met you… but then, I don’t know… something changed.”

Your voice trails, feeling you’ve rambled too long, feeling your cheeks impossibly hot. But the silence follows, swallows you whole, and when you finally dare to raise your head, to meet Jean’s eyes, he’s just staring back at you.

Swallowing thickly, you shift forward; “Jean?”

He’s shaking his head, pulling his hand from your own and your heart feels as if it’s being ripped apart as he hastily pushes himself to his feet. He still hasn’t said anything, not until he’s fully stood in front of you, glancing down at you with bright red cheeks and a wild look in his face, still shaking his head.

“Jean–”

“I’m sorry,” he finally breaks out, “I.. I’m sorry.”

And then he’s turning, not saying anything more, not giving you a single ounce of explanation, rushing out of the room before you can even attempt to stop him. You sit there for a moment, the scene replaying in your head, before settling, and the hurt wells all over again – but this time not physical pain. It hurts deep in your heart, like someone had ripped it out of your chest.

You feel your vision well, the tears threatening to burst through and with haste you press your palm against your lips, trying to mask the soft cries that manage to slip past you. The bowl of soup Jean had brought you manages to catch your eyes, and with a cry, you kick at it, ignoring the way it splatters across the floor or the clatter that follows with it. Your body screams at you in response, and a whimper leaves your lips then as you go to clutch your arm, before staring down at your lap.

Then, after a moment, you let yourself fall back down, unable to stop the tears that stream down your cheeks, back turned towards the entrance of the room. And because your back is turned, you don’t notice the pair of eyes on your figure, watching with a deep frown etched on his lips because he’d turned back the second he’d had a moment to breathe, realizing what an utter and complete douche he’d been and most importantly, what a mistake he’d made.

But the second he sees you crying, he freezes and doesn’t say a word.

Like the coward he knows he is.

#aot #aot x reader #aot imagine #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #jean kirstein #jean kirstein x reader #jean kirschstein #jean kirschtein x reader #jean x reader #eren jaeger #eren jaeger x reader

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eggsaladsandwhic · 1 year

Text

Vash Headcannons (SFW and NSFW)

Follow my previous posts about the Poly Knives x OC x Vash CollegeAU fic I'm doing so here's some ideas I gotta dump.

SFW/General

Ecology Major vibes, is also getting an Ethics minor

Hates chemistry with a burning passion

Makes a lot of friends, but only hangs out with a few so he doesn't overwhelm himself

Nurodivergent Vash!

(He/They)! Or (They/them) either works

Doing a stem degree while having ADHD and anxiety sucks so much but Vash thrives in it somehow

College has really been flaring up his plant traits lately, has to call Rem or talk to Nai on the weekly for help (Though Nai just keeps telling him to stop repressing it)

Has to wear long sleeves or hoodie a lot to cover up the feathering leaves that pop out.

Vash doesn't realize it but it's anxiety that's causing it, but Nai started lending him some compression shirts and so it's gotten better

BUFF DADBOD VASH (this idea possess me)

He's gotten better with dealing with stress and no longer resorts to starving himself

GOES TO THERAPY(one of these twins gotta do it)

Between Nai's cooking, drinking on the weekends, and the amount of donuts this dude can eat he's living his best life

Works out when he gets the time and bowls competitively

Wants a significant other (Mates for life) but it's so hard, especially when starts thinking about the fact he's not human

Has a fear of having someone he really loves and then them finding out he's a plant and reacting negatively. Vash thinks Nai and him would likely have to move back to the facility with Rem. He doesn't want to uproot the lifestyle him and his brother have

Gets a little depressed about it, but is really good with having a support group on standby

Gets hit on at bars a lot but it always flys over his head or they're too pushy about it.

Wolfwood sets him up with dates once in a blue moon but it goes horrible or the girls just don't like him for more than his looks

Physical touch is this man's love language and he just wants someone he can lean on

Add someone who likes doing domestic activities?? Y'all are going to the courthouse next week

Wants to just curl up next to someone even platonically at this point

Has an agreement with Nai sometimes that they sleep in the same bed like when they were kids (Nai always grumbles about it but sleeps better that night anyway)

Nsfw Below 👇

OH SHIT OH FUCK

(NSFW)

So I did some research today and did y'all know that wild purple geraniums have a tendency to be Hermaphrodites

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

Vash is a dual package (living the dream ong)

Plantussy and Plantdick combo meal

So I imagine that his dick would sit above his vulva and vagina? Testes would likely be internal (genuinely trying to form an anatomy basis I'm actually looking at a diagram rn)

As for his female organs I'd say he consented to a hysterectomy because it was causing growth issues (post op sucked but he figured it out)

Took testosterone for awhile until everything was functional

Became a lot more sexually comfortable with himself after this

6.5in prehensile tentacle dick, bumpy rounded ridges on the sides and little more on the girthy end

Has more of those downy soft petals that unfold during sex, and dick likely has a sheath because it's more fleshy (kinda like the inside of your mouth)

Hyperspremia and leaves a mess everytime he jerks off, squirts a lot too (probably got a dedicated bath towel at this point)

He has fucked himself with his own dick and usually prefers to

Owns quite a few sex toys and likes to experiment around a little bit

Goes from a Fleshlight, a regular dildo, has a couple fantasy ones, and anal and prostate toys

High sex drive, but can cum pretty quick (short recovery period, usually goes 3 rounds but can do more)

Rut is 10x worse too you'd be lucky to make it to the fridge

Makes sperm plugs during rut

SWITCH VASH(still a virgin though)

Desperate sex kinda guy, gets pussy drunk or cock dumb so easily, folds like a chair no matter what

Make him unfurl his wings out it means he trusts you so much

Please go down on him and absolutely devour him

Very sweet though and would definitely check in a lot (check in with him too it makes him feel fuzzy)

Has a sex awareness to not hurting you accidentally, during rut he's very nervous about it

Aftercare King (loves to shower or take a bath after)

More of a hickey giver than a biter

Usual kinks: Breeding, Pegging, Overstimulation, Cum play, cockwarming, Oral, Praise, Hair-pulling

Unusual: Blindfolding, Shibari(both ways around), Begging, wants to be degraded a little bit

Jesus my brain went wild there, I was doing research for some of this shit. Was supposed to be doing Geochemistry homework but this happened ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. Anyways gn y'all I got a 9am.

#trigun stampede #trigun smut #vash the stampede #vash x reader #vash headcanons #millions knives #vash smut #vash x you #vash is babygirl #trigun au #trigun vash

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fqiryspit · 1 year

Text

tell me again.

onesided!reader + eren x mikasa

cw: onesided love, a cliche, bestfriend!reader, love-struck!eren for mikasa.

"you get it 'cuz you're a chick"

"I get it because I'm not an idiot" you whisper, eyes focusing on your hand that's laid over your knee, the brush of the polish shaking slightly in your grip as you add the coat

"It's just...ugh, it's so nice...it's like...I'm floating when I'm with her" he escapes out of the pillow, muffled tone turning into a clear one as he sits up

"blah!" you chuckle, your remark earning you a slap on the arm, you shriek, now looking at your stained finger as the nail polish drys on your skin

"erenn!" you yell, turning to him as he wears a shocked face that floods with laughter as he collapses onto the bed

you huff and walk over to your bathroom, you hear "sorry" in his laugh but it doesn't really matter. grabbing cotton balls and acetone you move toward the bed again

"tell me again." you pipe up, clearing your throat after as you sit on your desk chair, a safe distance away from the crazed man

"but I just told you?" a confused frown forms on his face and you just roll your eyes

"your voice was muffled from the pillow, couldn't understand a word" you grin as you paint the next coat on your fingertips, eren whines as he falls on the bed again

"why didn't you telllll meeee" he whimpers but you only laugh. he sits up and takes a dramatic breath

"ok, so"

"mikasa is like this- ugh, ohmygoodness this- just- goddess! that gives me time of day and I have no idea why" he says, staring up at the ceiling as you purse your lips to interrupt him once more

"I know who she is, eren. now tell me what happened"

"I'm getting to it! I gotta...set the scene...ya'know?" he grins and you, again, roll your eyes.

"so the first time it happened...uhm, we were at my place at uuuhm she stayed like super late on accident...so I was like "why don't you stay over, like old times""

"old times meaning before you thought with only your cock?" you grin and he just scoffs at you

"ANYWAYS, she agreed. so like, we went to my room, one thing after another, we kissed, it was magical, we did it, it was magical." he wraps up like fucking your childhood friend was just a simple thing

"ok, yes, sparks and fireworks, are you guys together now?" you ask and he sits up, twiddling his thumbs slightly as he looks around the room

"kinda" he reaches over the bed, grabbing things you can't see but you're too busy chuckling at his answer

"there's no 'kinda' in relationships, dude. you're either together or you're not together" adding the final coat of polish you wave your hands around as you see eren holding two of your stuffed animals

"so like, when you're bf and gf...you're...like this" he puts the stuffed animals' faces together like they're kissing

"and when you're not, you're like this" he removes them and has their hands together

"ok..."

"so we're kinda like...uhm..." he has their hands together before putting them on top of each other and violently humping

you bark out laughter as he does the same, you yell out, "there's a name for that, put my stuffys down!" and he does, thank goodness.

"so...you and mika are fuck buddies?" you ask, waving your hands yet again as the polish seems dry. sitting up you walk over to your nightstand to grab your top coat as he blushes and carries on with his love rant.

"well..that seems vulgar-" "-it's what it is"

"but, I guess. I just want her to like me, it's like my dream to marry her. ugh, it's like...my whole future plan, to marry her and have kids and she'll just boss me around and it would be my dream."

"holy shit you sound like a girl" you grin, adding the shiny layers as he flips you off.

the sound of his phone going off catches both of your attention, he reaches for it like it's his life source and grins at the screen

"let me guess-"

"it's her"

"go to your fuck buddy, eren. I'm done with my nails anyways, plus, I'm ready to sleep so get the fuck out of my bed" he nods and sprints out of the room yelling, "thanks!" before he leaves and you just scoff

finally, once you're in bed and tossing and turning you start to pick at your freshly painted nails.

you know it's cliche, and stupid, you're stupid and annoying and 100% making it worse for yourself.

you move to your pillow, going head first into it to bury your thoughts.

it smells like him. it smells nice. you want it to always smell like him

"gross" you whisper, turning back over as you replay the events

you, in fact, heard everything he said when he was muffled into the pillow. you just wanted to see his face when he talked about his one true love. it sucks...a lot, actually.

she's so pretty. so easy with her words. now that you're thinking about it, you've never seen her slur or stutter, trip or spill something, or even a fucking pimple

she's just...so perfect. and you can never be her.

. an: AUAHIHEFAOIHHHHHHH I HOPE THIS ISNT TOO CLICHE AND BORING I JUST WANTED TO DO IT RQ WAAAAAAAAAA

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sarcasticfina · 9 months

Note

For the prompts post if you are taking, 13 for buddie 💖

Im so glad to see you on my dash btw

i'm trying to get inspired to write fic so please send me some prompts from either of these sentence prompt lists: one, two (see original post for ship options)

13. Do you ever think we should just stop this? (credit)

It was late, and dark enough that Buck couldn't see much more than the outline of Eddie beside him. He should be sleeping. They had work tomorrow, and Chris had to be dropped off early for that science club he joined. Did Eddie pack his lunch already? They were a little distracted earlier...

In his defense, he hadn't seen Eddie outside of work for like... four whole days. That was a lot for them. Maybe he should double check the fridge. Chris had been snacking more lately. Another growth spurt. He could use an extra pack of carrot sticks or something anyway. Or maybe some of that trail mix he loved, even if he did add mini marshmallows to it, which wasn't exactly the healthiest snack...

"Stop thinking," Eddie grumbled. "Go t' sleep."

"Hey, did you pack Chris' lunch?"

Sighing, Eddie raised his head, hair in disarray, and squinted at him. "Huh? Yeah, I... Before. After dinner, I threw something together. Why? Is that what you're worrying about?"

"I'm not worried. I was just... wondering." Buck shifted around on the bed awkwardly and shrugged. "Did you add extra snacks? He's been eating more lately..."

"Uh-huh." Eddie dropped his head back down to the pillow. "Threw in some carrots and dip and some of that trail mix. Was like half marshmallows; you gotta stop letting him talk you into that."

"It was not half..." Buck rolled his eyes. "Anyway, it's balanced out with all the nuts and raisins and dried apricot."

"Mmm."

Buck drummed his fingers atop his stomach, blanket pulled up to his chest. "Should I go out to the couch? He might have questions if he wakes up before us."

Silence answered him. But not an 'Eddie fell asleep' silence, no. This was tense, 'how do I respond to that?' silence. The worst kind of silence.

"Eds?"

"I heard you. Just... Uh... Do you wanna sleep on the couch?"

Buck frowned at the ceiling. "Not exactly comfortable for my back."

"Okay. Then stay here. I can set an earlier alarm if you want..."

Buck hummed. "I should've planned better. I wasn't even gonna come over. I was going home but then I just... didn't." He glanced in Eddie's direction. "You know, we never really talked about what the like... boundaries are."

"...boundaries," Eddie repeated. "About sleeping over or...?"

"All of it. I mean." Buck shrugged. "We just kind of... started this... thing... and we didn't really talk about it."

"Thing..."

"Historically, I'm the impulsive one, but you're not, so maybe I was expecting you to take the reins on how to handle this. Not that I was planning for us to become this. And it's not all on you, obviously."

"This thing?" Eddie sounded a little amused now and Buck frowned.

"I just don't want to overstep. Or make assumptions. Or... I don't know. I don't want to risk this... us... i don't want to do anything that might hurt Chris."

Eddie didn't respond immediately, and that heavy silence filled the room again. "What are you saying... exactly?"

"I guess..." Buck sat up and shuffled backwards. "I mean, do you ever think we should just stop this? Just go back to how it was before? Before we tried to be... more."

Eddie let out a quiet sigh and then he was shifting to sit up too, his back resting against the headboard. He rubbed a hand over his face. "Okay. First, Chris is fine. He will be fine."

"But how do you know?"

"Because he's Chris. Because he loves us and we love him. Because no matter what happens, I know you will always be a part of his life. Even if, somehow, this thing blows up in our faces, you will always put Chris first."

Buck swallowed a lump. "Yeah."

"And second, yes, we should've talked. Especially if you've been worrying about what we are. Maybe I had more time to figure out how I felt and come to grips with what it meant, I don't know. But... Evan, you're it. You're... I mean, I hope you feel the same way I do. I guess I just thought we were on the same page with how we felt. And now we're together. Boyfriend feels a little high school, but, uh, we've always been partners. Now we're just another version of that."

Warmth bloomed in Buck's chest. Partners. Yeah, that sounded right. He turned to look at Eddie, whose features were still mostly shrouded in darkness. "You're it for me too."

Eddie's shoulders slumped. "Yeah?" His voice was softer, filled with relief.

Buck grinned. "You're stuck with me for life."

Reaching over, Eddie took his hand and folded their fingers together. "Good."

"Sorry I was freaking out."

"You get in your head sometimes; I should know better. In future, we'll work on talking it out instead of waiting until..." He glanced at the old man alarm clock on his bedside table. "Dios, 2 am. Tomorrow's gonna suck."

"Whoops." Buck shuffled down the bed and pulled him along, turning onto his side to rest his head on Eddie's shoulder. He hooked an arm around him, fingers folding around his ribs. "You can sleep in. I'll bring Chris to science club and double back for you."

Eddie mumbled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'I love you so much,' and then pressed a kiss to Buck's birthmark. "Go to sleep, cariño."

Anxiety assuaged, Buck listened.

#buddie #buck x eddie #buddie fanfic #fanfic #prompt fill #nonny #ask reply

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unicyclehippo · 1 year

Note

for your one word prompts, trust? <3

it's been building for a little while now, the unease, the confusion, the hurt every time beatrice takes a call and walks out of the apartment or sends a coded message on the burner she hides in the salt tin on top of the fridge or sidesteps questions, and ava has been meaning to talk to her about it, sit them both down on the couch with a nice soothing cup of tea and the frankly painful and painstaking list she's written out of Things I've Noticed You Not Telling Me. she meant to, she really did. but today has just been. bad. from start to end.

beatrice wakes her before six with a nudge and they dress silently, slipping out into the grey morning and down to the lake to train. pretty soon, the clouds split and ava spends her morning mostly flat on her back. over and over and over and over and over again. beatrice is impassive and challenging in turns, a good teacher but cold, calm, and by the end of their sparring ava feels half-dead again.

the rain doesn't help. it's cold and slow, half-frozen to a sludge and it stings when it hits. drips off the end of her nose, her chin, the ends of her fingers when she stands in it, panting.

'h-how'd i do, coach?' ava jokes, teeth chattering. 'too impressive, right? gotta rein it in?'

beatrice smirks, just a little. she's always happier when she's been training and ava hasn't quite figured out whether it's because of the exercise or because she likes to win. 'you did well,' she says. ava starts to deflate, when she adds, 'it's important to train in all different...terrains.'

'ooh.' ava closes her eyes. savours it. 'that was so bad.'

she gets about half a second of beatrice laughing when there's a single buzz from the picnic table where they've stashed their things. a few long strides gets beatrice there in mere moments, before ava can even start to think to do the same, and then beatrice calls back to her,

'time to test your endurance, ava. we're jogging back to the apartment,'

and sets off without another word, slinging her waterproofed backpack over her shoulder.

the grey swallows her up. ava swallows down a mutinous thought—to stay, to ignore beatrice's instruction—and stumbles forward to her own pack, her jacket which has remained thankfully dry beneath the picnic table roof. her fingers catch, numb, on the zipper. the teeth tug closed, all the way up to her neck.

there's a good reason that beatrice isn't telling her about these messages, these secret phone calls. ava is pretty sure they're from camila, or mother superion, based on the timing and the secretive way beatrice sends messages back. there's a good reason, she just knows it.

by the time ava makes it to the apartment, beatrice has already showered and dressed. heat billows out from their tiny bathroom in a white cloud; the steam stings her frozen nose a little, smells hot and a little like the shampoo they both use, something flowery. ava's never bothered to check what it was, just enjoys pouring it into her hands - it comes out of the bottle pink, which always makes her smile - and sudsing it up, the scent slightly chemical and overpowering but it lasts the whole day. ava knows because she can always tell when beatrice has just left a room at work, the smell lingering, and it clings to their pillows too, much gentler by the time they get to bed but still there.

'i have work today,' beatrice says, tugging on her boots. 'hans and i are going over the inventory, nine to twelve. it might run late, depending.' on what, she doesn't elaborate.

'i could come with -'

'it'll be boring and cold,' beatrice denies with a shake of her head. 'please, stay here, stay warm. we can't afford for you to get sick.'

'can i get sick? or would the halo heal that too?'

'i'm - not sure.' beatrice pauses, reaching for her coat. her fingers close around empty air as she thinks about it. shakes her head. 'better not test it.' her eyes narrow when ava just hums. 'ava. please don't test it.'

'fine. buzzkill.'

'i'm not a buzz-'

'i'm teasing, bea.' ava glances to the bathroom - warm, inviting - and back to beatrice. 'hey,' she says, effortlessly casual. rainwater drips down to her soggy, muddy trainers. 'who was the message from?'

'message?'

'yeah. down by the lake? you got a message.'

'ah. it was from hans, like i said.' beatrice doesn't meet her eyes when she says it, stooping to collect her keys and wallet from the coffee table. 'right. i'll be back around midday, maybe one. i'll bring lunch. any preferences?'

the truth, ava wants to say, but it feels a bit dramatic. and she kinda just wants to shuffle into the bathroom and defrost, so she says, 'curry. nice and hot.'

'alright. i'll see what i can do. and ava?'

was this it? was she going to tell her? ava perks up, smiles.

'i know this is unfair but - the rain, could you...?'

ava slumps. waves her away. 'i'll mop. don't worry about it.'

'thank you. truly.'

beatrice is late. she comes through the door at twenty past one, wind-swept, cheeks flushed with the cold. it's not raining anymore but the chill lingers and she has mud splattered on her boots and the cuffs of her dark jeans, which she changes for black sweatpants and thick woolen socks.

'how was inventory?' ava asks, turning away from the sink where she's finally got around to washing up their coffee cups—okay, mostly her own, which she's left scattered around the apartment—and pulls bowls up from the cupboard, dishes up their curries. she sticks a finger into the centre of her own and frowns, slides it into the microwave. weird. it's not a long walk from the store but either it's colder outside than ava thinks or beatrice took the long way home because the food is barely warm anymore.

the suspicion stings and before she can think it through totally, she's reaching for the crumpled up receipt, plastic bag rustling under her fingers. it is soft and creased, made of that thin, cheap paper in off-grey; someone, maybe beatrice, has touched it with a wet hand and the blue ink of their order has spilled, bled across the page. where it is water-spotted, the paper is soft and easily torn and it rips a little when ava smooths it out but even so, the collection time is legible in the bottom corner.

twelve forty-three.

'—doesn't have what it takes to be manager, i fear. the entire procedure could do with an overhaul for improved efficiency, which i suggested to the owner—'

'why did it take you forty minutes to get home?'

beatrice pauses. takes her time to roll the second sock onto her foot, tucking the end of her sweatpant neatly over it.

'who messaged you this morning? who really messaged you? and don't tell me it was hans because i know he wouldn't be up before nine. ever.'

'the road was slippery. and it was hans.'

'oh it was hans?' ava crosses the kitchen, grabs her own phone out of the pocket. she holds it up. 'i'll text him then, huh? maybe call him and ask - hey, did you call beatrice at the ass crack of dawn this morning?'

'you're being childish.'

ava sucks in a sharp breath, recoils. 'childish? are you for real?' beatrice grimaces, apologetic, but it's not enough. 'me asking questions is - is not me throwing a fucking tantrum.'

'i shouldn't have -'

'no! don't fucking bother!' she says, and it comes out rough and too-loud. heat prickles across her skin - embarrassed, humiliated - because she's pretty sure she's being loud enough that their neighbours can hear, if they're home, if they're listening, and what they'll hear is that beatrice thinks she's a child. what they'll hear is ava's voice cracking with some awful mixture of hurt and anger. 'i'm not being childish. i'm - i'm being scared,' she spits. 'scared and confused and alone because the one person who is supposed to be helping me keeps lying to me!'

beatrice's eyes go wide, flicker over to the fridge and her stupid salt container on top.

'do you think i'm - i'm stupid? huh?' the idea hurts but the heat flares and stings and ava feels like she's on fire so the hurt isn't hurt, it's just fuel. 'you think i don't notice when you sneak off? when you take calls and messages all the time and pretend like they're about something else? when you stay late at work?' she says with a mocking edge, because beatrice has told her exactly that three times in the last two weeks and it's getting stale.

'it's the busy season -'

'are you serious!'

the halo flares and the water in the sink overflows with the force of it, displaced, slops down to the tiles and splashes all over. mugs knock together with dull clacks beneath the water, the sound deadened, drowned. 'stop lying to me. you keep telling me to trust my team but what the fuck does that mean? do you even know?'

beatrice has no answer. she stands in the living room, empty-handed. offers ava nothing in return for her questions.

something cracks in ava's chest and an awful thought bubbles out, filling her chest until she can't breathe. beatrice doesn't care, she doesn't care, she's just standing there and ava has spent too many years begging people to care, to help, to go through it all over again. especially with someone who took her face between her hands, who spoke into her ear as she was passing through pain and stone, and promised to care. promised to remain.

ava drags in a shuddering breath, turns sharply away. she plunges her hands into the sink to rescue the mugs from beneath the water, beneath the waves her halo flung into motion.

'i don't have a team,' ava tells her, voice dull. 'the only person here with me is you and if you don't - if you don't talk to me or - or trust me then we're not a team. you get that, right? it's not about following orders anymore, beatrice. there is no order anymore. not when things are fucked up like this. so it's gotta be about figuring it out together, that's what a team is, isn't it? and even if i can't help, even if i'm - s-slowing us down or doing it all wrong, you're not helping by lying to me.'

the apartment is so quiet now that ava isn't yelling but her head is ringing and she nearly misses it when beatrice starts to talk, so quiet is her voice.

'i shouldn't have lied.' ava snorts. flings the sponge onto the side. 'i didn't want to trouble you with -'

one of the mug cracks in her hand. ava hisses under her breath, spins back around to jab a finger at beatrice. a blod of suds, barely red, lands on the kitchen table between them.

'you didn't want to tell me anything because you thought i'd run again.'

'no.'

beatrice steps forward, into the doorway of the kitchen, her eyes wide. 'ava, no, i never thought that! i -'

for a moment, a very un-beatrice like strain is evident on her face and the part of ava that is hurt and on fire wants to take it as proof, as some desperate scrambling to put together a better lie. the hurt is potent, sick and harsh like a knife in guts, twisted. but there is a much bigger part of ava that likes beatrice—hates to see her hurting, struggling—and so she waits and watches as the strain breaks, as beatrice pushes past it. sees, for the first time since they barricaded themselves here in this nowhere town, the boundless care that beatrice had offered so freely to ava back in a room full of concrete and chrome.

'i am so truly sorry,' beatrice murmurs, takes another step closer around the table. reaches for ava in one moment before she folds her hands behind her back in the next. a different strain, much more completely conquered. 'i'm sorry, ava, that my actions led you to that conclusion. i know you've changed. i know your dedication, your focus. your - desire to see this through. i see it,' beatrice insists, raw and honest.

with each word, ava feels herself calm. the electric sting of the halo settles.

'it was never a question in my mind that you would run again.'

'then...why? why hide -' ava gestures to the salt container, to beatrice. 'whatever it is?'

beatrice looks ashamed. even when she explains, there's still something missing, something just out of reach that ava cannot hear and beatrice cannot - will not? - say.

'you are working hard. and making vast improvements in everything you do. and so,' beatrice says, and moves to the fridge, pulling out her burner phone, 'when camila began to send me updates and it was all bad news - all of it - i asked her to send it only to me in, what i see now,' she says, tone wry, 'was a misguided attempt to help you. i didn't want to add anything more to your plate - you're dealing with so much already, ava, i only wanted to...spare you that,' she confesses, words barely more than a breath by the end.

ava frowns, not with the weight of anger, only attention. she nods, slowly. 'okay. i - can understand that, i guess.' she huffs. leans her head back, stares at the light on the ceiling.

it's glowing bright. beatrice must have changed it at some point, ava swears it was flickering yesterday.

reaching behind her, ava pulls the plug from the sink. it gurgles as it drains. she peeks over at the braced beatrice.

'so. you do trust me, then?'

a smile, achingly sweet. 'yes, ava, i trust you.'

'oh.' ava pushes her fingers through her hair, forgetting suds and sink water and the little bit of blood. she wipes her hand dry on her shirt, ignoring beatrice's grunt of dismay, or maybe disgust. 'sorry for yelling at you.'

'and i am sorry. for lying. and calling you childish. that was uncalled for.'

they stand together, a few paces apart, just staring at one another. ava is the first to move, exhausted, swaying forward into beatrice. she drops her head heavily onto the other girl's shoulder, curls her arms around her in a way she hasn't dared to do for days. beatrice exhales shakily, breath hot against ava's hair, her ear, and brings her hands up as precisely as she always does. right hand to the back of ava's neck, fingers pressed to her hairline and no lower. left hand against ava's right shoulder blade. then, the tiniest shift. beatrice's littlest finger lifts from its place on ava's hairline; it touches back down, cold, against the agonisingly bare skin of ava's neck.

'do you - can you forgive me?' beatrice asks, very very quietly. 'can we try again?'

there's not much space between them but ava finds it and banishes it, moves closer, hugs beatrice a little tighter. turns her head, nose to neck. 'yes,' she mumbles. 'yeah. i do. we can.'

beatrice nods against her. 'thank you.'

#tagging my stories #prompt fill #warrior nun #avatrice #set in oh the first couple weeks of the switzerland arc somewhere around there #the FIGHTS are DELICIOUS i wanted to try my hand at one

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