#ultimates aka classic warriors

[petrika-stark-parker]

Fury: Be careful out there, kids

Ultimates: We always are

Coulson: Respectfully disagree

#usm #ultimate spiderman #ultimate spider man #nick fury #phil coulson #ava ayala #white tiger #incorrect quotes #usm incorrect quotes #Sam Alexander #nova #Peter paker #usm!peter #ultimate spider man x reader #marvel incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #ultimates aka classic warriors

[wolfswitcheryanimations]

Seen a lot of bullfrog <--> Ramon swap aus around which are cool, but cmon, let Dolph be the brainwashed Tv host and Bullfrog be the edgy loner whose secretly a dork for once.

Backstories under cut (Tw for cult and suicide mentions)

Dolph:

- Your classic rags-to-riches success story, Dolph started off as a lonely little boy enrolled into Eden's military ranks at 16, in the hopes that he would be able to support his family. He ran up the ranks quickly, showing himself not only to be a great soldier, but an even greater ray of hope for his fellow soldiers. Sadly, his military career ended when he suffered life-threatening injuries from a mine in the Wasteland War, taking away his left arm, bits of his torso and a huge chunk of his head.

- Eden wasn't done with him however, and after being refitted with the fanciest prosthetics money could buy, he became the suave and sultry brand new host of the Eden show, an shining example of what Eden has to offer and a mainstream celebrity overnight.

- Of course, thats not *all* that happened...

Bullfrog:

- Once a prized member of Eden's military, like Dolph, Bullfrog is now a feared mercenary and terrorist, heavily affiliated with an anti-Eden group that believes that they are their deities chosen warrors, born to destroy Eden and bring up a new era of prosperity. He uses stealth to his advantage, using both disguise and the shadows to do his work, to the point where noone truely knows what he looks like under his hood, which he never takes off.

- Of course, this new era can't come without sacrifices, and the group sacrifices Bullfrog for "the greater good", AKA let him be killed in order for them to gain a shiny macguffin they believe will let them be able to summon their god.

- Don't worry, for his contributions to the cult, he will surely be granted the highest honours in the afterlife! In fact, he should be thanking the group for this oppourtunity!

- At least, if he wasn't still alive..

Ramon:

- Made to be a warrior of the Glade, Rayman has decided to turn his grief over not being able to save his previous home to determination to save the new one from the horrors of Eden.

- The only one rescued from dimension X (or, so he thinks), Rayman has become a robin-hood-esque vigilante known in the lower rigs of Eden as a strange, but friendly fella who comforts the weak and counters the strong.

- Never really staying in one place for too long, he has picked up many quirks and mannerisms from the numerous people he has stayed with over the years, and while he has become a bit more abrasive and trigger-happy than he was before, now accustomed to hiding his lack of limbs behind baggy clothing, his will to help people and ultimately make up for his mistakes before still shines bright.

#captain laserhawk #clh #clhabdr #captain laserhawk au #clh au #swap au #role swap au #dolph laserhawk #bullfrog #ramon #clh dolph #clh bullfrog #clh ramon #captain laserhawk art #clh art #artists on tumblr

[sonia-kate]

New theory - about Kamejim

I'll try to make it quick to publish it before episode airs

Ok, so first of all, we learned that Bugnarok came from another planet that Grodie destroyed

It sounds an awful lot like what Racules' B plan was when he was setting up his 3rd duel with Gira (aka, taking people to the castle and fly away with it to save at least some people)

But who would suggest such a thing to Dugded back then? Or did he come up with this himself?

Well, what if Kamejim was originally one of the Bugnarok back on that planet? His name follows Bugnarok naming convention with his "-jim" ending like Gerojim and the MotW, which would suggest his Bugnarok origin

But why would Kamejim join Dugded? Well, what if his reasons were the same as Racules'? He joined so he could save (at least part of) his nation meanwhile he was scheming in the shadows (so, what he's doing best) to eventually overthrow Dugded

In this way, Kamejim would be foil to Racules, much like Grodie is one for Gira. But unlike Racules, Kamejim has been committing attrocities for Dugded for over 2000 years, so even if he started out good, he would eventually lose his conscience in the process of keeping his act, eventually making him live the act

Ever since the beginnig of the show, Kamejim has been acting kinda sussy. Yes, it's because he was working for Dugded, but even in service of Dugded his actions are kind of... odd

The very first episode post-time skip introduces us to Dugded and we see him demanding from Gira to destroy all the Bugnarok. We also see that the Bugnarok other than Jerami were dealt with by Kamejim himself and we, the audience, were led to believe that Bugnarok were eradicated completely, just to be confused when it was revealed not to be the case

But what if that was supposed to be this way? What if Kamejim just did all this to make Dugded believe that Bugnarok had been wiped out to get his attention off of them? After all, after the kings come back from the crossover, Bugnarok is the only kingdom not to be taken over by Dugded's lackeys. A coincidence or not?

Another thing, in Kamejim's plan when he was pretending to be Himeno, he had many opportunities to poison at least some of the kings. We've seen with the real Himeno that the poison works over time so he could have poison couple of them before the symptoms would kick in, but he didn't. Sure, one could say that it was just classic plot armour, but we've learned by now that King-Ohger is better than this

When Racules revealed his tyrannical self on TV, many thought he was just being a stupid villain, but it was in fact calculated by him. Maybe Kamejim also pretended to try to kill the kings but didn't because he knew that ultimately they will help him get rid of Dugded eventually

I was also kind of wondering why would Kamejim kill Desnarak back then. After all, he'd die soon anyway. But it was said that a king of Bugnarok is established through a fight, so Jeramie becoming a king through an agreement with Desnarak may have not been accepted by then a heavily warrior nation. Let's remember that if the theory is true, Kamejim ultimately cares about Bugnarok as a nation, so killing Desnarak to ensure that there won't be another civil war in Bugnarok makes sense

Now, Kamejim has conveniently placed himself as the last Jester alive and the preview for the upcoming episode had only shown us Dugded, so Dugded being dealt with before Kamejim is a real possibility, imo

Now, let's get back to parallels with Racules. We've seen Racules doing horrible things throughout the show, but he never killed anyone. At least not in such a cold calculated manner as Kamejim does that. But he was very close to doing that when he invaded N'kosopa and almost had Yanma killed. He then burst out laughing. Many viewers pointed out how disturbed Racules' expression was right before the laugh and the production notes stated that it was him losing his mind. But then, in the show, he told Yanma that it was his hunger for power taking over him, which seemed to contradict the previous explaination

But what if it was both? With that strike, Racules thought he just passed the line from which there is no return. Until then he was meddling and just remaining idle in the face of danger. Now he himself was directly responsible for someone's murder. It caused something to break in him, to push his moral boundries even further away, making such acts easier for him to perform in the future and to lose the rest of his conscience. Or rather, that is what would have happened if Gira didn't save Yanma at the last moment. I wonder, whether Racules would have become as ruthless as Kamejim if Yanma had died back then. I think that Gira, by saving Yanma, saved Racules' conscience and humanity

Anyway, so much for now, gotta post it before the episode airs, might elaborate later if the next episode won't crash it

#king ohger #kingohger #ohsama sentai king ohger #ohsama sentai kingohger #racules hastie #super sentai #gira hastie #racles husty #racles hastie #shugoddom #kamejim #racules husty #gira husty #hastie brothers #husty brothers #grodie leucodium #glodi leucodium

[jamiesfootball]

What is your favourite live action holiday movie?

I hope this question covers 'movies that happen to be on that holiday and not about it' because. Buddy. Are you ready for an answer so obscure that when I tried to crosscheck that it did take place on the holiday I thought it did, fucking Google couldn't confirm. I literally had to double check with my friend who's seen this movie more than me-

Warrior (2011) because the final fight takes place on the 4th of July and as it happens I first saw this movie on the 4th of July.

Now without further ado LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES

The synopsis from IMDB says:

The youngest son of an alcoholic former boxer returns home, where he's trained by his father for competition in a mixed martial arts tournament - a path that puts the fighter on a collision course with his estranged, older brother.

Starring: Joel Edgerton, Tom Hardy, Nick Nolte, Jennifer Morrison, Frank Grillo

But this movie- Y'ALL THIS MOVIE. Oh, it is a gut punch from start to finish. It is a beauty. The synopsis makes it seem like the oldest brother is estrange WHEN IN FACT it is the youngest (played by Tom-Fucking-Hardy) who has basically cut off contact with everyone after him and his mother left town to escape his abusive, alcoholic dad. He is sullen, moody, angry, doesn't talk much - AND HE FUCKING PUNCHES LIKE ELIOT GODDAMN SPENCER.

And this kid - and he is, there is such a young boyishness to his pain - has gone back to the same abusive, alcoholic dad (who is now sober) to ask him to train him how to box so that he can get into this amateur MMA fight for the prize money (THE REASONS WHY WILL MAKE YOU BAWL).

As for his relationship with his dad (Nick Nolte)? It's a resounding FUCK YOU, I'M NOT HERE FOR YOU.

Meanwhile. The older brother. The one who stayed behind when the mom and the youngest left. His response to his dad is also a big old FUCK YOU OLD MAN. He did not stay for his old man.

He stayed for his girlfriend (Allison Morrison), and guess what? They have a wonderful marriage, and two beautiful little kids together, and his only only fucking regret is that he doesn't know what happened to his brother.

But now he has a problem- see, one of his daughters is real sick. And they've got medical bills piling up. And he's got a mortgage they're falling behind on. And this guy, this wonderful soft-spoken caring guy, he's a teacher. He loves his job, but he doesn't make good money, and his wife is already working extra, and they need the money. So he's been doing underground boxing. But he got caught, and now he's been suspended from his job, so his only option is to enlist the help of his friend (Frank Grillo, aka Crossbones from Captain America) who is a zen-like, classical music loving gym owner to train this guy up for this amateur MMA fight for the prize money

The same one his little brother is aiming for. The same- do you get it? They are both entering a boxing match and they don't know the other one is going to be there.

And because the youngest son is going under his mother's surname no one else knows they're related either.

What's this got to do with 4th of July? It never fucking says, but if I were to read in too deep it would be something about independence. Something about how these two people, who separated from each other and built lives independent of each other, were ultimately never that far apart. Their separate paths led them right back home. Their shared history means they were always going to be together, even if they never never crossed paths again they would always be walking the same road. They were shaped alongside each other. Just. Love, man.

Anyways, by the end of the movie it's the 4th of July and I'm bawling my fucking eyes out. It's also just a really, really good fighting movie.

#everybody go watch Warrior (2011) #ask box is always open #also I appreciate that the movie shows their dad not as a demon but not as someone who has earned forgiveness just because he's sober now #his sons hate him they pity him but they do not forgive him #they forgive each other. and if he wants to fix his life they won't stop him but it's not on them to make it better #just. this movie man

[clarenecessities]

Okay I don't want to bother you but I couldn't find the answer googling it or searching the fandom wiki (gross) and it occurred to me you are the only person I know of who might be able to answer this question, so: from someone who only watched She-ra and not He-man, who ARE the Masters of the Universe? Is it just He-man's friends or is it some shadowy cabal of sorcerers or some shit?

oh this is the opposite of a bother, an excuse to loredump is always welcome >:3c

it's actually pretty nebulous! in most continuities it's just He-Man and his friends (aka the Heroic Warriors), though in the 200X Mike Young Productions one they're like a legacy group that was founded by Randor (i believe called the Defenders of Eternia?), and in MOTU Classics (the toyline that gave us C'yra, et al.) they were first assembled by King Grayskull himself, to combat the Snake Men & the Horde on what would become the first Ultimate Battleground. And I believe in the new CGI He-Man they're explicitly sharing the power of Grayskull so they can all transform, and MOTU is like their team name?

There were a few different names floated for the toyline before they settled on MOTU--"the Lords of Power", "the Fighting Foe-Men"--and I've seen some people claim that the Evil Warriors were originally called the Masters, though I haven't independently verified that yet. It doesn't seem to be explicitly tied to morality beyond usually being applied to the 'good' guys, so it could just be a measure of power.

going into the wider franchise i really expected it to be like, He-Man & She-Ra and similarly powered transformations specifically, but it's pretty much interchangeable with "Heroic Warriors", at least in-universe. there doesn't seem to be a collective name for 'turns into ancient warrior', but there's a vague thread of inheriting/channeling the power of "the Ancients," a la Sabe-Or (who remains the only named Ancient unless they've added one since i last caught up).

that said, there are plenty of shadowy sorcerer cabals if you're interested--Councils, Elders, Councils of Elders--really just depends on if you want them in the present or the past.

#answers #n7punk #motu

[repo-net]

Hi! I just wanted to say I love your blog! I recently found your story, "Leaders" about Nagisa and Masaru's friendship, and I loved it! Nagisa and Masaru's friendship is so underrated, but I love it so much and you did such a great job writing about it! Your characterization was spot on too. I loved their dynamic in the fanfic where Masaru helps Nagisa to loosen up and have fun, and Nagisa is exasperated with Masaru's recklessness but really is worried about him and wants him to be careful because he's the mom friend. It's so cute how Nagisa is almost like a parent for his friends since they never experienced parental love. Also, can we talk about how Masaru called him "Nags" because that was great! I can totally see Masaru having fun nicknames for all of his friends! The whole story was just so cute, and I loved it so much! Thank you for doing the lord's work writing! 😊

Hey! Sorry it took so long for me to get a response out to this - it's been sitting on my inbox for a while now and I apologize for that. Thank you for the kind messages! It means so much to me whenever I get told things like this because it really does feel like there are people that care about these stories that get posted here.

Nagisa and Masaru's dynamic is great. It's the classic trope of the sporty, loud and proud athletic type paired with the distant, quiet and smart bookworm type but with the added layer of them being kids that ultimately see themselves as leaders - but in different ways. They tease and don't get along with each other a lot, but I'm pretty confident in saying that the two of them would be willing to take a bullet for the other with how protective they are of their friends.

On a slightly random tangent to go on - but I like to think Nagisa really doesn't like referring to himself as the 'mom friend' and would much rather go by the term he uses - aka 'the babysitter'. I like to think it's because the idea of having a title and association with the very people that hurt him and the Warriors of Hope just didn't really sit right with him. I think I've actually mentioned this headcanon/observation before, but I thought I may as well bring it up again.

Thank you again for dropping by! I hope you continue to enjoy all the stuff I plan on getting out in the future.

[asianhappinesss]

Harakiri (1962)

Summary

An elder ronin samurai arrives at a feudal lord's home and requests an honorable place to commit suicide. But when the ronin inquires about a younger samurai who arrived before him things take an unexpected turn.

Review

Kobayashi’s Seppuku (aka Harakiri) is without doubt one of the best Samurai films ever made and the deepest one I ever saw. It’s also a classic that survived the test of time. This review will probably be my longest up to date. Bear with me because I have to put this film in its right temporal and spatial frameworks before talking about the film itself. If you’re not interested in history, you can skip the first two paragraphs and get to the film’s specific review. I am history lover so it’s a given that I studied Japanese history way before I started watching Japanese classics and that knowledge in history helped me a lot when I started exploring the golden Japanese cinema. Seppuku is set at the beginning of the Edo era (17th century), an age of peace that lasted for more than 250 years in Japan where the Samurai class gradually lost the “warrior” side of their positions since there weren’t any wars to fight. As Tokugawa (the general who established his shogunate in Edo) gained complete control over Japan; many Samurai who fought the Sekigahara battle and others were left without clans to serve and were called “Ronin” meaning masterless Samurai. They were usually viewed as bandits whether intentionally or unintentionally, they lived in poverty but they didn’t lose their “samurai nobility” that’s still a higher rank than the peasants’ class. They also never gave up on their honorable ethics and beliefs. In that era, many Ronin’s started to visit clans to request a “Seppuku” in their clans’ yard, meaning a ritual suicide where the Samurai has to literally disembowel himself using his Shinto (the Samurai in that era has a long Sword Katana and a smaller one Shinto that he always carry around with him, they’re considered as big part of his Samurai honor). The Harakiri (ritual suicide) is in fact an honorable death for a Samurai so it was dishonorable for clans to reject such a noble request from Ronins but they also didn’t want to let them kill themselves on their property so they either hired them as their clans’ Samurai (but that didn’t happen a lot since it’s an era of peace so the clans didn’t need many Samurai considering the fact that there’s no war) or they just gave them money and sent them away. As other Ronin heard about the story, they started to frequently visit clans in order to request a Seppuku but they never actually meant to kill themselves, they just wanted to take the money and leave. And that’s what’s called “Harakiri fraud” which is a cowardly, shameful act from a Samurai even if he’s a Ronin. The history stops there although the clan that’s mentioned in this film (The Iyi clan) is a real clan that’s known as a very important figure in modern Japanese history. Now, let’s talk about the film itself; one clan (the Iyi clan) decided to stop these Harakiri frauds and made the Samurai who asked to commit seppuku kill himself so that other Ronin won’t dare show up in front of their clan. That’s how the story starts but through flashbacks, we get the overall story of that man, where he came from and why he came. His circumstances, his situation and his life were all told using flashbacks that were amazingly illustrated in order to produce spectacular turns of events. Seppuku is a human Samurai film that deals with old Japanese codes of honor and ethical Samurai principles. Kobayashi wanted to introduce a somewhat anti-samurai film that deals with the shortcomings of some Samurai beliefs by using quotes such as “After all, this thing we call samurai honor is ultimately nothing but a façade” (said by Tsugumo Hanshiro) but then he comes back to insist on the codes of dignity. Unlike many Kurosawa films’ I saw where he always idolizes the Samurai figure. Don’t get me wrong, Kurosawa’s films are my favorites but what I meant to say is that Kobayashi and Kurosawa’s adaptations of Samurai stories are quite different even if they’re comparable, to each his own genius ideas of making masterpieces. The film contained the sword fighting but it wasn’t the main focus of this film. The developments were surprising

and quite intriguing to follow; in this film you get a taste of suspense, psychology, action, tragedy, revenge and even family. Although the film insists on the Samurai element more than anything else, it also focuses on family relationships, interactions and sacrifices as well as human and more specifically Samurai emotions. If I keep talking then I won’t stop praising this film’s screenwriting by Shinobu Hashimoto and the original novel by Yasuhiko Takiguchi. I appreciated every angle of the story and the way it revealed facts at the most unexpected time. This is not a film that’s set to kill a Samurai through a ritual suicide or show the audience how a Samurai disembowel himself; it’s a film that describes the human emotions and feelings behind that act. However, I do understand if some people found the development a bit slow. As for me, my eyes were glued to the big screen the whole time without a single move or sound. Yes, it had that kind of impact on me. The acting, oh my! what on earth can I say about that acting? I am not biased or someone who talks with full subjectivity so when I say that Nakadai was marvelous in this, I am not talking with a fangirl’s emotions, I am speaking with full objectivity about a Japanese legend. For me or anyone who knows classic Japan, Nakadai Tatsuya is a legendary star in the Japanese cinema and one hell of a charismatic astounding actor who can grab your intention in a split of a second. Like many of his other roles, Nakadai was amazing in this; his portrayal of Tsugumo Hanshiro’s character was flawless. Enough said or I won’t stop talking about that man’s incredible acting skills. Other actors were also amazing; I was moved by their acting skills. It’s the golden Japanese era of cinema so it’s a given that only high-class acting exists. The characters were very well written and their relationships were fascinating to follow, I was moved by many characters’ developments in Seppuku. Now let me talk about that breathtaking cinematography. I like to focus on cinematography while watching films and even though this was produced in 1962 (black and white); I was charmed by the back sceneries and great settings. Kobayachi did an awesome job with those mesmerizing takes that I will never forget. I have to mention the soundtrack which I believe it’s the best music composure I ever heard in any Japanese classic. Watch this if: -You like Japanese classics or want to discover them. -You enjoy Samurai films but keep in mind that this isn’t an action film. -You love films with human stories. -You like Masaki Kobayashi because this is his finest work. -You like Nakadai Tatsuya because this is one of his best performances. Do not watch if: -You dislike Japanese classics. -You dislike Samurai films. To end my super long review, I will mention that Harakiri is a crafted masterpiece by Kobayashi and an eternal gem of the Japanese classic cinema that’s bound to take you through a great journey of amazing events and astonishing acting skills. I will leave you with two quotes by Tsugumo Hanshiro: “What befalls others today may be your own fate tomorrow.” “The suspicious mind conjures its own demons.”

#jmovie

[starlight-starks]

Peter: can we talk about the message you sent on our group chat

Y/N: which one?? clique, gang or team.

Peter: team.

Y/N: it was a critical update

Peter: it just said "i`m back on my bullshit".

Y/N: People need to know.

#team stands for the ultimates from ultimate spider-man #ultimates aka classic warriors #ultimate spider-man #incorrect peter parker x reader #peter parker x fem!reader #peter parker x reader #incorrect peter parker #peter parker x stark!daughter #peter parker x stark!reader #peter parker drabble #Petrika Starker #Ritika Stark

[jackie-talks-about-starkid]

Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier (Rewatch #7, 10/19/2020)

YouTube publish date: November 27, 2013

Number of views on date of rewatch: 5, 050, 547

Original Performance Run: July 4-28, 2013 at Chicago’s Greenhouse Theater Center

Ticket price: General Admission: $25, VIP Admission: $50

Director: Brian Holden

Music: AJ Holmes

Lyrics: Kaley McMahon

Book: Eric Khan Gale, Matt Lang, and Nick Lang

Cast album price and availability: ‘Twisted (Original Chicago Cast Recording)’ on iTunes $9.99 [released Nov. 28, 2013], ‘Twisted: Twisted, Bonus Materials and Studio Recordings’ on iTunes $7.92 [released Dec. 4, 2013]

Parody or original: combination parody of Disney’s Aladdin and the musical Wicked

Funding: $142,564 from 3,544 backers (x)

raised via Kickstarter - original crowdfunding budget goal: $35,000 (x)

Funding period: March 22 - April 21, 2013

Main cast and characters

Ja’far - Dylan Saunders

The Princess - Rachael Soglin

Aladdin - Jeff Blim

Sherrezade - Meredith Stepien

Prince Achmed - Joe Walker

The Sultan - Nick Gage

Guard Captain - Jim Povolo

Musical numbers

     Act I

“Dream a Little Harder” Characters: Ja’far and Ensemble

“I Steal Everything” Characters: Aladdin and Ensemble

“Everything and More” Characters: The Princess

“Sands of Time” Characters: Ja’far

“The Golden Rule” Character: Ja’far and Ensemble

“The Golden Rule (Evil Reprise)” Characters: The (Previous) Royal Vizier and Ensemble

“A Thousand and One Nights” Characters: Ja’far and Sherrezade

“If I Believed” Characters: Ja’far

“Orphaned at Thirty-Three” Characters: Aladdin

“Happy Ending” Ja’far, The Princess,and Aladdin

     Act II

“No One Remembers Achmed” Characters: Achmed and Ensemble

“Take Off Your Clothes” Characters: Aladdin and The Princess

“Twisted” Ja’far, The Sea Witch, Scar, Gaston, Captain Hook, and Maleficent

“The Power in Me” Characters: The Princess and Ja’far

“Finale (A Thousand and One Nights Reprise)” Characters: Company

Notable Notes:

For each week in July 2013, one member of StarKid wrote a blog entry on the official Playbill website discussing their part in the show’s production and the process of creating Twisted with the company (x)

During one of the performances, Lauren Lopez leaned on a wall with a light switch on it and temporarily turned off the stage lights

Eric Khan Gale, one of the writers for Twisted, released a 13 minute behind the scenes video called ‘Everybody Smells’ that was featured on the DVD version of the show’s recording (x)

Cultural Context: 2013

With assistance from the Make-A-Wish foundation, San Francisco temporarily turned into Gotham City so that Miles AKA Batkid could live out his dream of being Batman for a day

Obama was inaugurated for his second term as America’s president

Vine gets released by its parent company, Twitter

Iron Man 3 gets released in the US on May 3rd

Lance Armstrong admitted to using drugs for his Tour de France championships during an interview with Oprah

The Boston Marathon Bombing occurred, killing three people and injuring over 260 others

The US Government underwent a temporary shutdown

Content Analysis:

When looking at Twisted as a part of StarKid’s entire body of work, it is easy to see that it is the first of the theatre company’s work to have socio-political commentary as a main theme of the plot and the character’s personal drives. While all of StarKid’s parodies have some elements of social or cultural commentary as featured jokes or talking points in their productions, Twisted’s book is the first of StarKid’s shows that heavily feature direct commentary on significant current events and how such events alter the daily lives of the audiences watching their production.

At the base level, Twisted parodies both Wicked and Aladdin in order to challenge the one-dimensional, stereotypical writing that classic Disney movies have been reduced to in popular culture, and knowledge of pop culture at the time of the production reveals that the show also parodies the Walt Disney Company’s controversial decision to fire its 2D animation department while also buying out the entirety of Pixar in order to maximize Disney’s profits. While it is easy to think that this plot point is merely fan criticism and reaction to such news, Twisted uses this as a comedic gateway into discussing how this action on Disney’s part is reflective of a modern capitalist culture that increasingly foregoes genuine artistry and audience enjoyment for the sake of profit and social control. The parallels become strikingly more obvious as well-known characters become introduced as their satirical counterparts in the show.

For example, Ja’far is representative of the idea of a nostalgic time (that humanity never truly experienced) in which creative arts, like 2D animation, and civil service, like those who work in any general political structure, exist solely to make the lives of the greater population better rather than do so in order to serve their own selfish needs. But, as the audience experiences Ja’far’s beginnings in politics and encounters his increasing difficulty in trying to make the world a better place, we see him become drowned out by the overbearing selfishness of profit-based economic structures benefitting self-centered individuals in the government that control civilian’s lives without giving them any power within their own system. Without realizing it, the citizens that Ja’far tries so valiantly to protect become so jaded by the negative effects that such structure have on them that they eventually turn on Ja’far, an individual who is working against those structures, and on each other, essentially distracting themselves from the true source of suffering-the leadership and the structures of the political system that they inhabit. As well, The Princess begins as the personified version of privilege, a well-meaning but thoroughly uneducated and naive social justice warrior that ends up becoming a much more nuanced character as she matures and experiences a life outside of her privilege throughout the show. She, like any ideal civil leader, eventually uses her experiences and her privilege to ensure that people of all social and economic classes within her kingdom are treated equally and fairly.

Socioeconomic inequality and social injustice are blatantly discussed and represented in practically every scene of Twisted, and the strong book weaves together commentary and comedy in such a way that the audience immediately understands the modern-day implications of the scene without being so focused on the parallels between their own world and the musical one that they’re watching that they become distracted and forget to enjoy the lightheartedness of the show’s ultimate tone and wonderful performances by the entire company.

#@TeamStarkid #twisted: the untold story of a royal vizier #twisted #I will die defending the intellectual validity of musical theatre and of starkid specifically #team starkid #starkid productions #starkid #starkid musicals #musical theatre #theatre #musicals

[allthehorrormovies]

A+1 - A blend of American Pie and Scream, but surprisingly better than that sounds. Outlining the plot would give away the twist, which tips its hand early on, yet ends in a gratifying manner. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Make love, not war.

Alien - A friend remarked how this film likely wouldn’t be made today. It’s shot too dark. It’s quiet, purposefully. There’s no action for much of the first half; more a study in isolated labor and worker exploitation. And there’s not a “star,” outside of teenage dreamboat Harry Dean Stanton. Actors like Sir Ian Holm Cuthbert were selected for their ability, not their stature within Hollywood, as production took place in London. As Robert Ebert said, “These are not adventurers, but workers.” We’re lucky it was made, supposedly, in part because the success of Star Wars pushed the studio to quickly release their own space movie. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Sigourney Weaver is the ultimate Final Girl.

Aliens - The deliberate, slow pace of Alien is replaced by James Cameron’s grandiose action, backed by four times the original budget. Like Terminator 2: Judgment Day, it’s amazing that both films avoid “the disease of more.” Cameron’s characters are too often weighed down by punch-line dialogue, but all the elements together somehow work. Ripley’s character begins to move past being a simple pilot and into a warrior woman, for better and worse. The studio originally tried to write her out of the sequel due to a contract dispute, but Cameron thankfully refused to make the film without her. There are people out there who prefer Aliens to Alien, and that’s fine. They are wrong, but that’s fine. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Alien³ - David Fincher has famously disowned his directorial debut, citing studio deadlines for its poor quality. Compared to the first two films, it certainly is a failure. Though gorier, the scenes with the digital alien look terrible upon re-viewing. The various writers and scripts, some potentially interesting—especially William Gibson’s version, and changing cinematographers and the insertion of Fincher late into production doomed the project from the start. All that said, the movie itself isn’t terrible—parts are even good, but what feels like a midway point in Ripley’s saga is ultimately her end, and that feels cheap. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Alien: Covenant - The maddening mistakes of Prometheus absent, this sequel is a tense, action-packed killer of a flick. Scott claims a third prequel is in the works that will tie everything back to Alien, which is . . . fine? It’s just that the first film was so great and everything else since then seems so unnecessary. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Alien Resurrection - The aliens look better than ever before, but Joss Whedon’s dialogue is simply annoying and the casting is horrible. Ripley has super powers and kills her large adult alien son. Winona Ryder decides crashing a space ship into Paris, killing untold millions, is the best way to get rid of the aliens for some reason. It’s fucking dumb and cost $70 million to make. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. In the special edition intro, director Jean-Pierre Jeunet says he didn’t change much in the re-release because he was proud of the theatrical version. Baffling. 

Amer - This Belgian-French film is a tribute to the Italian tradition of giallo, a stylized, thriller told in three sections that directors like Suspiria’s Dario Argento pioneered. Mostly wordless, there’s not much plot, more a series of moments in a women’s life revolving around terrifying, sexual moments that ends in murder and madness. There are some terrific scenes, but it’s more of an art piece than movie. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

An American Werewolf in London - Funny and scary all at once, setting the bar almost impossibly high for all that followed. Rick Baker's special effects catapult this movie into greatness. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Ebert was right, though; it doesn’t really have an ending. 

Annihilation - Perhaps more of a sci-fi thriller than a horror movie. But due to some terrifying monsters scenes, I’m going to include it. Apparently writer/director Alex Garland wrote the screenplay after reading the first book in Jeff VanderMeer’s Southern Reach trilogy, giving the movie a different overall plot. Garland’s sleek style that made Ex Machina so wonderful is replaced by “The Shimmer,” which gives the film a strange glow. The ending relies too much on digital special effects that looked more gruesome in earlier segments, detracting from its intended impact. Still, a few key scenes, especially the mutated bear, are downright terror-inducing. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. I first found the constant flashbacks unnecessary, but viewed as a refraction on Portman’s mind as well as her body make them more forgiving.

The Babadook - Creepy and nearly a perfect haunted horror movie, except for some final tense moments that too quickly try to switch to sentimental, which leaves their earnestness falling flat. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Dook. Dook. Dook.

The Babysitter (2017) - One of Netflix’s original movies, this one pays off in gore and borrows heavily from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World-style jokes. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Meh. It’s cheesy and cliché, but whaddaya gonna do?

Backcountry - Don’t be fooled thinking this is like Jaws “but with a bear,” as I did. Unsympathetic characters and zero tension make this movie a drag to watch. At the start, you think, “Who cares if these assholes get eaten by a bear? They wandered into bear country without a map.” By the end, you’re actively cheering for the bear to eat the boyfriend and only a little sympathetic for the lead character. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. To her credit, Missy Peregrym does a fine job of being a mostly lone protagonist.

Basket Case - Cult director Frank Henenlotter‘s debut starts as a creepy, bloody horror movie, but staggers after showing the monster too soon and then tries to fill time with unnecessary backstory and extended scenes of screams and blood that would have otherwise been eerily good if executed more subtly. Despite not being very good, it’s at least somewhat interesting and kind of impressive considering its low budget. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Battle Royal - I’m not convinced this is a horror movie, it’s more just a gory action flick. But hey, oh well. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun, but not as great as many people seem to believe.

The Beyond - Considered one of Lucio Fulci’s greatest films, it might be a bit disappointing to newcomers of his work. Certainly the style and impressive gore are at their highest, but the muddled plot and poor dubbing distract from the overall effect. Fabio Frizzi‘s score is, for the most part, a great addition, however, certain key moments have an almost circus-like tone, which dampens what should be fear-inducing scenes. It’s easy to see why some fans absolutely love this movie while some critics absolutely hate it. In the end, it’ll please hardcore horror fans, but likely bore others. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Beyond the Gates - Two estranged brothers are sucked into an all-too-real game of survival after finding a mysterious VHS board game following the disappearance of their father. The plot is fun and original, but the lead actors aren’t all that engaging and the special effects look rather outdated for a 2016 release. Still, it’s an enjoyable watch. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Black Christmas - A slasher that starts out with potential, but never gets all that scary or gory, though it’s well made. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Margot Kidder gets a kid drunk.

Black Sheep (2006) - A hilarious, gory take on zombie sheep. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Black Sunday - The Mask of Satan (aka Black Sunday) is totally my new superhero/metal band name. If you're a fan of older horror, this one is not-to-miss. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Vengeance, vampires, Satan worship, castles, curses, and a buxom heroine, this movie is pretty damn dark for a 1960's black & white film.

The Blackcoat’s Daughter - Scores points for a couple of horrific scenes and a fairly good switcheroo, but mostly too slowly paced to capture the viewer’s attention. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Emma Roberts continues her path to being the modern Scream Queen.

The Birds - Hithcock’s film was, by no means, the first horror movie. German, Japanese, and UK directors had explored witches, demons, and the classic monsters decades earlier. But, The Birds is a landmark film, like Psycho, for pioneering a new wave of modern horror. It was, perhaps, the first time female sexuality and ecological revenge had been combined to create an unsettling tale with an ambiguous ending. And the rather graphic scenes of found corpses, combined with a minimalist score, are nearly as shocking today as when the film was first released. 5 out of 5 pumpkins.

Braindead - It's Bill Pulman and Bill Paxton in a 1980s B-horror; what more do you need? Most people won't enjoy this campy fart of nonsense, but try pulling your TV outside and getting good and drunk. Anything's good then. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. “The universe is just a wet dream."

The Brood - No where near as polished as Scanners or Videodrome, but still a creepy, well-made film. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

A Bucket of Blood - This black & white 1959 film from Roger Corman is more dark comedy than horror, but it’s a absurdly fun critique of beatnik culture written by Corman’s partner on Little Shop of Horrors. Dick Miller gives a great performance, and with a run time of about an horror, the pacing feels relatively quick for an older film. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Byzantium - The tale of two British vampires who live like wandering gypsies, setting up a low-rent brothel in a seaside town despite being immortal badasses because the all-powerful, all-male secret vampire club is trying to kill them, because . . . no girls allowed? It’s unclear. The vampires are of the more modern type—they go out during the day and receive their curse from a geological location than from one another. Still, overall the movie is better than it has to be. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Cabin Fever - Eli Roth’s directorial debut isn’t awful, but it certain could have been better considering Roth credits Carpenter’s The Thing as its inspiration. The homophobic jokes date the movie more than the alt-rock soundtrack and the repetitive scenes reminding viewers of how the mysterious disease spreads (at apparently differing rates depending on the character) during the conclusion end up creating a weird kind of plot hole. To his credit, some of the nods to The Thing are OK. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever - That Ti West made this pseudo-campy and outright bad movie during the same period that he made The House of the Devil is perplexing. The style, pace, and subtly that make The House of the Devil an enjoyable film are nonexistent in this cash-grab sequel. West apparently hated the final cut and requested his name be removed from the project. That said, I kind of like this movie better than the original. I’ve always found Roth’s praise of his directorial debut to be odd, as it’s not very good. For what it’s worth, this movie isn’t trying to be anything other than what it is: a tasteless, bad horror movie. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Retcons the plot hole in the first movie, at least.

The Cabin in the Woods - As good of a spoof of the horror genre as one could hope. Stereotypical with an O'Henry twist at every turn, this movie is good for an afternoon viewing, much like Tucker & Dale vs Evil. Without giving much away, if you think about it, The Cabin In the Woods is like a weird PSA about how marijuana will destroy all of mankind. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun and gory with something for everyone.

Candyman - Decades later, it’s not as easy to see why Candyman was such a landmark movie. It’s a bit slow, stumbles in places, and some of the acting is only serviceable. However, the story itself (based on Clive Baker’s original) is—on paper at least—good. Critics at the time were rightfully hesitant to praise a movie simply for having a black villain, especially when his origin is based on racial violence, but Tony Todd’s portrayal is so terrifying it launches the character into one of the all time great horror monsters. Add in Philip Glass’s soundtrack and Candyman reigns among other classics without being a top contender. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Carrie - I saw this movie on TV a long time ago, but I had forgotten much of the film, especially the opening scene of slow motion nudity (aren't these girls supposed to be in high school?!). The remake of this movie is likely going to be bad, but the original is so good I'll probably go see it. What can be said? Pig's blood. Fire. Religious indoctrination. Sexual overtones. There's a reason Brain de Palma's version of Steven King's story became so culturally important. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. This movie holds up, even today. 

Carrie (2013) - Though nothing is glaringly bad, and the added back-story decently pulled off by Julian Moore as the mother, almost every scene is a shadow of the original. Which is unfortunate considering that the remake of Let The Right One In managed to find a somewhat more unique tone. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Largely unnecessary.

The Changeling - George C. Scott does a fine job as a mourning husband haunted by an unfamiliar spirit. Not the most exciting movie, but pretty decent. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. It might’ve ranked higher, but there are no half stars here.


Cheerleader Massacre - This movie looks like someone shot it in their backyard with an earl 90s handheld camcorder . . . in high school. This is just embarrassing, for me too. The actors seem to be exotic dancers or adult film stars, who haven’t been asked back for a shift in a while. Alright, I skipped through this because the quality was so low. At around minute 41 there's a bathtub scene with three naked women, which culminates in one licking chocolate sauce off each other’s breasts. Some people die. Two of the naked women survive, I think. The house they all go to in the beginning of the movie - a ski lodge, I guess - burns down, or doesn't. Whatever. 0 out of 5 pumpkins. Just watch actual porn.

Child’s Play - While only OK, I understand how this became a franchise. Melted Chucky is terrifying. The villain can hop from vessel to vessel, unfortunately through some kind of voodoo racist bullshit. The characters are shallow, but serviceable. For such a big budget movie, it’s weird that it ends so abruptly. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Children of the Corn - Damn, this movie is boring. Linda Hamilton does the World's Least Sexy Birthday Striptease. The characters are joking quite a bit having just run over a child, whose dead body is rattling around in the trunk. What was the casting call like for this movie? "Wanted: Ugly children. Must look illiterate." All in all, things turn out pretty good for our protagonists. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. For something that spurred at least five other movies, this was remarkably uninspiring. 

City of the Living Dead - The dialogue is awkward and the plot a bit convoluted, but the special effects hold up and the overall story is good. The first of Lucio Fulci’s Gates of Hell trilogy. Apparently when the movie was screened in L.A., Fulci was booed. 3 of 5 pumpkins. Poor Bob the Simple Pervert.

Climax - Gaspar Noé is known for making viewers feel as uncomfortable possible with his experimental style film making. Which is fine. But that discomfort rarely lands to move me outside the initial shock. Climax is, surprisingly, more like a Suspiria remake than the actual 2018 remake. That, however, doesn’t make it good. The really shocking moments aren’t all that shocking and the cultural commentary isn’t very deep. It’s not a bad movie, it’s just, well, unnecessary. The dance scenes are extraordinary, so at least it’s got that going for it. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Color Out of Space - An enjoyable, albiet uneven, film that does a lot with little. A head-trip type of home invasion movie that pulls you in. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Conjuring - It’s easy to see why so many people love this movie. It’s well-acted, it has jump-out-of-your-seat scares, and incorporates several classic fear elements. Considering the mediocre, at best, tiredly worn horror movies that slump to torture porn for shock value coming out recently, The Conjuring stands above its peers. Still, there’s nothing original about the movie. 3 out 5 pumpkins. 

The Conjuring 2 - Billed as more shocking than the original, this sequel likely lands better in theaters with it’s jump-cut scares and action flick sequences. On the home screen, however, the overly dramatic elements are too far flung to seem like a haunting based on true events. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. 

Creep (2014) - Nails the P.O.V. angle without going too far down the overly-used “found footage.” Mark Duplass is terrifying and without his ability to carry the film, the entire concept could have easily fallen flat. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Creep 2 - Mark Duplass pleasantly surprises with a sequel that, while not as *ahem* creepy as the first, builds out the world of his serial killer in a manner that is engaging and ends with the potential for more. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Crimes of Passion - Technically it’s an “erotic thriller,” but given Ken Russell in the director’s chair and Anthony Perkins as the villain, I’m adding it to this list. Unfortunately, it’s not a great film. Kathleen Turner surpasses over acting in some scenes, and the rest of the cast is pretty forgettable. If the plot revolved around Perkins’s character, it might have been more of a horror flick. Instead revolves around loveless marriage and the fucked up issues of sexuality in America, attempting to say . . . something, but never really making a point. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Russell has got an obsession with death dildos. I don’t know what to do with that information. Just an observation.

Crimson Peak - Guillermo del Toro is a complicated director. He’s created some truly remarkable films, but has also created some borderline camp. Crimson Peak splits the difference, much in the same way Pacific Rim does. If you’re a deep fan of a particular genre, in this case Victorian-era romance, then the movie can be an enjoyable addition to the category with its own voice. If you’re not, then the movie’s more eye-roll-inducing moments are less a nod to fandom and more of an uninvited addition to what could be a straight forward film. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Beautiful, but lacking.

Cronos - This del Toro film is a must-see for any fan of his current work. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Even if you're not usually a fan of foreign films, you'll likely appreciate this modern take on the vampire mythology.

Dagon - To be honest, I feel like I should watch this one again. It’s a bit of a jumbled mess, but there are some wacky, gory moments at the end. Similar in tone and style to Dead and Buried. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Seriously, like the last 20 minutes cram so much plot it’s just a series of wtf moments until hitting incest and then nothing really matters.

Darling - Well shot in beautiful black and white with an excellence score, Darling really should receive a better score. However, it fails to be more than the sum of its parts. Borrowing liberally from Kubrick’s one-point perspective and Polanski’s Repulsion in nearly every other way, the film is decent, but fumbles in deciding whether to convince the audience of a clear plot, leaving viewers with closure, yet unsatisfied. Still, worth viewing. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Daughters of Darkness - A Belgian/French erotic vampire film that isn’t as erotic or vampiric as one might hope. Still, legend Delphine Seyrig shines so brightly, it’s catapults are relatively boring film into near greatness. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Dawn of the Dead - The best zombie movie ever made. 5 out of 5 pumpkins.

Day of the Dead - George A. Romero’s end to a near-perfect trilogy isn’t as good as its predecessors, but it’s gorier and somehow more depressing, even with the ending. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Dead and Burried - Starts with a bang, but lags in the middle. The ending tries too hard to surprise you, yet, by the time it’s over you kind of don’t care. Surprisingly well acted and good, creepy tale. Might not be everyone’s bag, but if you’re a tried-and-true horror fan, you’ll enjoy the movie. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: The movie was written by Dan O’Bannon, famed for writing Alien. O’Bannon worked with John Carpenter on a short in film school, quit being a computer animator on Star Wars to be a screenwriter, and became broke and homeless after attaching himself to Jodorowsky’s doomed Dune. He later went on to direct The Return of The Living Dead and write Total Recall. 

Dead Snow - A Nazi zombie bites off a dude's dick. Do you really need any other details? 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Germans be crazy.

Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead - Not as good as its predecessor, but still fun. Plus, more children die. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Why all the gay jokes, though?

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats - OK, my first nit-pick is that the bed doesn’t eat people so much as it dissolves people. But it still makes chewing sounds? Whatever. A bizarre concept that swings for seriousness and utterly fails due to its lack of plot and extremely low budget. Kinda of weird, but ultimately pretty boring. 1 out of 5 pumpkins.

Death Spa - Hilariously bad. Super 80s. I can’t say this is a good film, but I would recommend watching it for the kitsch value. What if a ghost haunted a gym? Instant money maker. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: the project came about due to shepherding from Walter Shenson, who got rich producing A Hard Day’s Night and Help!, and the lead actor, who plays a gym manager, was an actual gym manager in L.A. at the time.

Deathgasm - Imagine if Scott Pilgrim vs. the World was about a New Zealand metal band and not as good, but still pretty OK. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Deep Red (aka Profondo Rosso, aka The Hatchet Murders) - Dario Argento’s 1975 film is more polished than 1977′s Suspiria, which is a bit surprising. However, that doesn’t necessarily make it a better film. Where Suspirira’s fever dream colors and superior soundtrack, also by Goblin, shines, Deep Red doesn’t quite land. The camera work here is better, though, as is much of acting. But there’s a lot of let downs, such as the opening psychic bowing out and never really coming up again, the boorish male lead and oddly timed humor, and the final reveal, which is anti-climatic. Still, an overall great horror movie. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Def by Tempation - I really enjoyed this film, despite it not being the most skillful directed or the most incredible script. The plot is compelling, the jokes are pretty funny, and the angles and lighting are really well done despite the limited budget. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Admittedly, Kadeem Hardison nostalgia helps.

Demons - Multiple people recommended this to me, and I can see why considering the Dario Argento connection. Unfortunately, the premise is more exciting than the execution. Poorly acted and poorly dubbed, the gore doesn’t do enough to hold one’s attention. There’s a scene where a guy rides around on a dirt bike killing demons with a samurai sword. At least that happens. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Is the ticket-taker in on it? She works in the demon theater, right? So, why is she being hunted? Also, where the fuck did the helicopter come from?

The Descent - Some of Earth’s hottest, most fit women embark on a spelunking adventure with a recently traumatized friend. Aside from a couple of lazy devices that put the team in greater peril than necessary, the movie quickly and cleverly puts the cavers into a horrifying survival scenario that few others in the genre have matched. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Without giving too much away, be sure you get the original, unrated cut before watching this flick.

The Devil’s Backbone - Though del Toro’s debut, Cronos, is more original and imaginative, this is much more honed. Not necessarily frightening, but tense and dreadful through out, laying open the horror war inflicts on all it touches. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Devil’s Candy - More of a serial killer thriller than a horror, but the supernatural elements raise this movie to better-than-average heights. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. The real lesson is this movie is that cops won’t save you, ONLY METAL CAN SAVE YOU!

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark - The biggest upside to this movie is that it was produced by Guillermo del Toro. The biggest downside is that it's not directed by Guillermo del Toro. Still, the director gets credit for making a child the main character; never an easy task. To the little girl's credit, she's a better actor than Katie Holmes, no surprise, and Guy Pierce. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. With a bit more gore and stylistic pauses, this could have been a 4. This movie proves why killing kids is more fun than kids who kill, and also that every male protagonist in every horror movie is dumb dick.

Don’t Look Now - Well-acted and interesting, Nicolas Roeg’s adaptation is a high-water mark of the 1970s premier horror. The only real complaint is that the ending—while good and obviously ties it all together—is nonsensical. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Donald Sutherland fucks.

Event Horizon - “This ship is fucked.” “Fuck this ship!” “Where we’re going, we don’t need eyes to see.” These are quotes from, and also the plot of, Event Horizon. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. The most disturbing part of the whole production might be Sam Neil’s attempt to be a sexual icon.

The Evil Dead - Though The Shining is the best horror movie ever made, The Evil Dead is my favorite. Funny, creepy, well-shot on a shoestring budget, it's the foundation for most modern horror flicks, more so than Night of the Living Dead in some fashions. See it immediately, if you haven't. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Bruce fuckin' Campbell.

Evil Dead (2013) - Not entirely bad, and even takes the original plot in more realistic places, like the character having to detox. But is that what we really need? The fun of the original is its low budget, odd humor, and DIY grit. I guess if you really want a “darker” version, it’s this. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Better than The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, about as good as the Carrie remake, I guess.

Evil Dead II - I have to respect Sam Raimi because it’s like he got more budget and did everything possible to try and make this movie suck just as a fuck you to the studio. All the creepy parts of the original are over-the-top, there’s zero character development—just faces on a stage, and it’s seemingly a crash-grab to set up Army of Darkness more than anything else. That said, it’s kind of boring outside of a couple gory scenes. It’s fun, but not that funny. It’s scary, but more gauche than anything. An exercise in excess, yet a decent one somehow. My biggest complaint is that Evil Dead is great with Bruce Campbell, but would have been good with almost anyone; whereas Evil Dead II is only good because it’s Bruce Campbell. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark - This movie is nothing but puns and tit jokes. But clever ones! Pretty okay with that. Or maybe it's a statement on third-wave feminism in spoof form? Probably not. At one point an old people orgy breaks out at a small town morality picnic, but it's a PG-13 movie so it doesn't get very fun. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Boooooooooobs.

Elvira's Haunted Hills - A pretty disappointing follow-up to what was a fun, 1980s romp. Instead of poking fun at uptight Protestants, Elvira’s just kind of a dick to her servant. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Even the boob jokes are flat.

The Endless - More sci-fi than horror, and not the most deftly produced, still an original concept that’s pulled off well. 3 out 5 pumpkins. Maybe this should get a higher ranking. It’s good! Not exactly scary, but good.

Equinox - Decided to give another older Criterion Collection film a try. Though there are some clever tricks in the movie, especially for its time -- like an extended cave scene that's just a black screen -- the poor sound, monsters that look children's toys, and general bad acting drag this movie down to nothing but background noise that's easy to ignore. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Whatever contributions this movie may have made to the industry, its not worth your time unless studying for a film class.

Excision - Less of an outright horror movie and more of a disturbing tale of a young necrophiliac, the film tries its best to summon the agnst of being a teen, but falls short of better takes, like Teeth. Still, pretty good. Traci Lords is great and John Waters plays a priest. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Exorcist - The slow pace and attention to character backstory is more moving than the shocking scenes you've no doubt heard about, even if you haven't seen the film. The pacing is slow compared to most movies today, but the drawn out scenes, like in Rosemary's Baby, help convey the sense of dread. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Believe.

Eyes Without a Face - One of the more remarkable things about this French 1960′s near-masterpiece is how carefully it walked the line between gore and taboo topics in order to pass European standards. The villain isn’t exactly sympathetic, but carries at least some humanity, giving the story a more realistic, and therefore more frightening quality. The only, only thing that holds this film back is the carnivalesque soundtrack that could have been foreboding. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. A must watch for any horror fan.

The Fly - Cronenberg's fan-favorite film is delightful, though it’s not as great as Scanners or Videodrome, in my humble opinion. Jeff Goldblum is, of course, terrific. If you haven’t seen it, see it! 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Where’d he get the monkey, though? Seems like it’d be hard to just order a monkey. The 80s were wild, man.

The Fog - A rare miss for John Carpenter’s earlier work. There’s nothing outright wrong or bad about this movie, but it’s not particularly scary and the plot is rather slow. That said, it’s soundly directed. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. If you’re a Carpenter fan, it’s still worth watching.

Forbidden World - Another Roger Corman cult classic, this one made immediately after the much larger budget Galaxy of Terror, mostly because Corman had spent so much on the first set (designed by James Cameron) and thought of a way to make another low-budget flick with a much smaller cast and recycled footage from Battle Beyond the Stars. Even more of a complete rip-off of Alien, with some Star Wars and 2001: A Space Odyssey bit sprinkled in. Perhaps because it’s far less serious and revels in its pulp, it’s somehow better than Galaxy of Terror, which is more ambitious—you know, for a Corman b-movie. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. No worm sex scene, though.

Frankenhooker - Frank Henenlotter‘s 1990 black comedy is over-the-top in almost every way, perhaps best encapsulated by the introduction of Super Crack that makes sex workers, and one hamster, explode. But with a title like Frankenhooker, you get what you expect. Hell, it even manages to sneak in an argument for legalizing prostitution. If you’re a fan of zany, exploitation in the vein of Re-Animator, you’ll enjoy it. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Friday the 13th - Terrifically balanced between campy and creepy, with a soundtrack that’s twice as good as it needs to be. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth watching every year.

The Frighteners - Michael J. Fox, everyone! Robert Zemeckis & Peter Jackson - ugh. It didn't even take 20 minutes for the racial stereotypes to kick in. Unlike the trope of youth in most horror movies, everyone in this movie looks old. Holy shit, did anyone else remember Frank Busey was in this movie? Michael J. Fox is a bad driver in this movie. He was also in a car accident that gave him supernatural sense. Jokes. Apparently they tried to make it look like this movie was shot in the Midwestern United States, but it was filmed in New Zealand. It's clearly a coastal or water based mountain town, in like dozens of shots. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Cheesy without being completely campy, it's also family friendly. If this were any other genre, this would likely be a two.

From Beyond - Stewart Gordon’s follow-up to Re-Animator isn’t as fun, even with some impressively gory special effects. Viewers are throw into a story with little regard for character, which doesn’t really matter, but is still a bit of a left down when you find yourself wondering how a BDSM-inclined psychiatrist builds a bomb from scratch. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. It’ll stimulate your pineal gland!

Funny Games (2007) - A fairly straightforward home invasion horror achieves greatness thanks to Michael Haneke‘s apt directing and powerful performances by Naomi Watts and Michael Pitt. Like with Psycho, some of the most horrifying parts are what comes after. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. The fourth wall breaking is an odd touch, but thankfully and surprisingly doesn’t distract.

The Fury - Brian De Palma’s follow-up to Carrie is a major let down. Despite a fairly charismatic Kirk Douglas and score by John Williams, the two-hour run time drags and drags. Attempting to combine horror and an action-thriller, the film waffles between genres without ever rising above either. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. It’s not explicitly bad; just a bore to watch.

Galaxy of Terror - Roger Corman produced this movie as was to try and capitalize off the success of Alien, but even with that shallow motivation it’s better than it needed to be. Staring Erin Moran of Happy Days fame and celebrated actor Ray Walston, Galaxy of Terror has an uneven cast, made all the more puzzling by Sid Haig. Though “the worm sex scene” is likely the reason it achieved cult status, James Cameron’s production is top-notch and was clearly the foundation for his work on Aliens. The ending even hints at the future of Annihilation. Does all this make it a good movie? Not really, but it’s not terrible either. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Get Out - A marvelous debut for Jordan Peele, who—given his comedy background—was able to land some downright chilling moments alongside some mostly well-timed jokes. Unfortunately, not all of them as well timed, especially the drop-in moments with the lead character’s TSA buddy. Peele originally had the film end less optimistically, but wanted audiences to ultimately walk away feeling good. Maybe not the most artistic choice, but certainly the smart one given the film’s acclaim. It’s easy to see why Get Out has cemented itself alongside The Stepford Wives as a smart, “in these times” commentary about society, but it’s also just a really well-paced, well-shot, well-acted film. With two other horror projects immediately set, it’ll be exciting to see just how much Peele will add to the genre. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. America’s worst movie critic, Armond White, said Get Out was “an Obama movie for Tarantino fans” as if that was a bad thing. Idiot.

Ginger Snaps - A delightfully playful but still painful reminder of what it was like being a teenager while still being a gore-fest. A must for anyone who was emo. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Out by sixteen or dead on the scene.

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night - An almost flawless picture. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Bonus: nearly everyone in this movie is insanely hot.

Green Room - Surviving a white supremacist rally in the Pacific Northwest is no joke. The region is the unfortunate home to violently racist gangs, clinging to the last shreds of ignorant hate. Though fading, some of the movements mentioned in the movie, like the SHARPs, are grounded in recent history. Mainly a gory survival-flick, the movie sneaks in some surprisingly tone-appropriate humor. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. No one’s island band should be Misfits.

A Ghost Story (2017) - Yes, this isn’t a horror. It’s a drama. Don’t care; including it anyway. It’s unnerving in the way that it makes you consider your own mortality and the lives of the people who you’ve touched, and how all of that won’t last as long as an unfeeling piece of furniture or the wreckage of home soon forgot. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Ghostbusters (1984) - “It’s true. This man has no dick.” 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Halloween (1978) - One of the best openings of any horror film. John Carpenter is a genius. 5 out of 5 pumpkins.

Halloween (2018) - Eh. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Hardware - A very unhelpful Marine brings home some post-apocalyptic trash that tries to kill him and his girlfriend, who could absolutely do better than him. Horribly shot and nonsensical, it doesn’t push the boundaries of filth or gore its cult fans adore. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Do not recommend.

The Haunting (1963) - Not exactly the scariest of movies, but damn well made and just dripping with gay undertones. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Theo is queen femme daddy and we are all here for it.

Haunting on Fraternity Row - The acting is surprisingly decent, but the supernatural elements don’t even start until halfway into the movie, which begins as a sort of handheld, POV style conceit and then abandons all pretense of that set up. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Not at all scary, but maybe it will make you nostalgic for frat parties, cocaine, and failed threesomes. So.

The Haunting of Julia - Apparently parents in 1970s Britain didn't receive proper Hymlic maneuver treatment, which perhaps made for an epidemic of dead children. As promising as that premise might be, an hour into this movie and there hasn't been any actual haunting. There's a stylish gay best friend (he owns a furniture store) and a dumb dick of an ex-husband, a scene of library research, mistaken visions, etc. All the standards are here, except for the haunting parts. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Well shot but absolutely boring, this is more about a woman's struggle with depression than a horror flick.

Head Count - A great premises that falters in key moments, making the sum of its parts less than its promising potential. For example, there’s no reason to show a CGI monster when you’ve already established its a shape-shifter, the scariest part is that they could be anybody! 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Hellbound: Hellraiser II - I really dislike this movie, not because it’s especially bad, but because it’s a lazy continuation of the first film. Yes, there are a couple of scenes that are squeamishly good, but it spends too much time rehashing the plot of the first and then ending in some grandiose other dimension that has not real impact. Part of the terrifying elements of the first is that the horror is confined to one room in one house. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. It really only gets this many pumpkins because of the mattress scene.

Hellraiser - Truly the stuff nightmares are made of. It’s easy to see why this film became a cult-classic and continues to horrify audiences. That said, the plot is a bit simplistic. Not that the plot is the heart of the film; the objective is for viewers to experience squeamish body mutilation and overall dread, and in that regard it truly delivers. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Hereditary - Toni Collette is a treasure in this dramatic horror about family and loss. Though the truly terrifying bits take too long to ramp up, resulting in a jumbled conclusion, the film is engrossing. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Hocus Pocus - Admittedly, this movie isn’t very good. But its nostalgic charm and constant virgin jokes earns it a higher ranking that it deserves. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. “Max likes your yabbos. In fact, he loves them.”

Honeymoon - Often described as a modern twist on Rosemary’s Baby, this debut from promising director Leigh Janiak takes its time before getting truly creepy. Though there are some gruesome moments, the tense feeling is bound to the two leads, who are able to keep a lingering sense of dread alive without much else to play off. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Host - I was skeptical of this Korean movie based on the sub-par visual affects, but the script, actors, and cinematography were all much better than expected. A genre-bender, as my friend who recommended it described, you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll cringe. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. If you're a fan of movies like Slither, you'll love this movie.

Hot Fuzz - Second in Three Flavours Cornetto and probably the worst, but still a great movie that gets better on repeat viewing. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

House - A part of the Critereon Collection, this 1977 Japanese movie is a trip and a half that follows the untimely demise of some school girls going to visit their friend's aunt, who turns out to be a witch who eats unwed women. One of the girls is named Kung-Fu and spiritually kicks a demon cat painting until blood pours out everywhere. I guess this is kind of a spoiler, but the movie is such a madcap, magna-influenced experiment there's nothing that can really ruin the experience. Like most anime, this movie also ends with an unnecessary song that drags on for far too long. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. I guess this movie influenced a lot of future work, which make sense. Still, most people would consider this a 1 as it's nearly impossible to follow.

The House at the End of the Street - I only decided to watch this movie because Jennifer Lawrence is in it. This isn't even a real horror movie. It's a serial killer movie with a few thriller moments. My standards are low at this point. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. It's a PG-13 movie, so instead of outright showing you some boobs there's just long, awkwardly placed frames of Jennifer Lawrence in a white tank-top. Oh, America.

The House of the Devil - Though an on-the-nose homage to 70s satanic slow-burns, this Ti West feature moves at a decent pace toward the slasher-like ending, making it better than most of movies it pays tribute to. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. 

The House on Sorority Row - A cookie-cutter college slasher that ends abruptly for no real reason considering how long it sets up its premise. Nothing awful, but nothing original. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Housebound - A fun, Kiwi flick that nicely balances a bit of horror with humor with a strong performance by Morgana O'Reilly. Though the plot takes a couple unnecessary twits towards the end, the gore kicks up and leaves you with a satisfying ending. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Howling - Released the same year as American Werewolf in London, this movie isn’t very good, but it is entertaining. Apparently audiences and critics thought it was funny. Maybe because it makes fun of that Big Sur lifestyle? I dunno. Dick Miller is the best thing in this movie, outside of the special effects. No idea why it spawned several follow ups. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Honestly, why not just lean into The Gift and join The Colony—nice surroundings, sultry nympho, regeneration ability. Some people can’t appreciate nice things.

Humanoids from the Deep - A cult favorite from the Roger Corman camp that borrows heavily from Creature from the Black Lagoon and a bit from Jaws. Initially very well done by director Barbara Peeters, but ultimately released much to her distaste. Peeters shot grisly murder scenes of the men, but used off camera and shadows to show the creatures raping the women. Corman and the editor didn’t think there was enough campy nudity. So they tapped Jimmy T. Murakami and second unit director James Sbardellati to reshoot those scenes, unknown to the cast, and then spliced the more exploitative elements back in for the final version, including a shower scene where it’s abundantly clear a new, more busty actress stands in for actual character. It’s unfortunate Peeters’ creation was essentially stolen from her, as it could have been a more respected film. I mean, how many horror flicks could weave in the economic struggle of small town bigots against a young native man trying save salmon populations? That said, the cut we got is pervy romp that’s still a boat-load of b-movie fun. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. James Horner on the score.

The Hunger - First off, David fucking Bowie. Not to be outdone, Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve are absolute knock-outs. Horror stories are often rooted in the erotic, often the unknown or shameful aspects of ingrained morality manifested in the grotesque and deadly. When done positively and well, it can be a powerful device. It’s a shame more recent horror movies don’t move beyond the teen-to-college-year characters for their sexual icons, too often used as sacrificial lambs, because mature sexuality can be far more haunting. As we age our connections to the meaning of love grow deeper and more complex; immorality does not offer the same luster. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Damn impressive for a first major film. Fun fact: Tony Scott wanted to adapt Interview with the Vampire, but MGM gave him The Hunger instead. It bombed and he went back to making commercials. Then Jerry Bruckheimer got him to direct Top Gun, which made $350M.

Hush - Though the masked stranger, home invasion plot is well-worn, this movies provides just enough shifts to keep things interesting and frightening. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Watch out, Hot John!

I Am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House - With only an hour and a half run time, this film still drags. Part of that is deliberate. The foundation of the film is its atmosphere and the lingering uneasiness that it wishes audiences to dwell in. But by the end, you’re left with nothing more than a simple, sad story. It’s similar to the feeling of overpaying for a nice-looking appetizer and never getting a full meal. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Initiation - This movie has every 80s hour cliché necessary: minimalist synth soundtrack, naked co-eds, looming POV shots, hunky Graduate professor, escaped psychiatric patients, prophecy nightmares, and creepy a child. Yes, everything but actual horror. An hour into the horror movie and only one person has died. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. There is no point to this movie, unless you're a huge fan of the princess in Space Balls.

The Innkeepers - The second of Ti West’s two well-received horror originals before he set out for TV and found-footage anthologies, The Innkeepers may not get as much love as The House of the Devil, but should. The dual-leads (Sara Paxton and Pat Healy) are more fun to watch than Jocelin Donahue‘s performance and the tone more even-set throughout the film. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Innocents - Reportedly Martin Scorsese’s favorite horror movie, it’s easy to see how big of an impact it had on the genre (especially The Others) with sweeping camera angles, slow but still haunting pace, and remarkable sound design. Perhaps it’s not as well-received by modern viewers, but it’s no doubt a classic. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Intruder (1989) - An enjoyable slasher flick from long-time Sam Raimi collaborator Scott Spiegel that takes places in a grocery store after hours that doesn’t try to do too much or take itself too seriously and features some over-the-top gore. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. “I’m just crazy about this store!”

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956) - A terrific example of how to build paranoid fear. That its political allegory can be interpreted on both sides of McCarthyism makes it all the better. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Original ending, ftw.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) - A rare remake that’s almost as good as the original. Terrific use of San Fransisco as a setting, Goldblum Goldblum’ing it up, solid pacing—great film! 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Plus, nudity!

The Invitation - More of a tense drama until the final moments, this film deserves praise for holding viewers’ attention for so long before the horror tipping point. Further details could spoil the story, but like many tales in the genre the lesson here is always trust your gut. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Ugh, Californians.

It (2017) - Stephen King’s nearly 1,200 page 1986 national bestseller captures the attention of readers for a number of reason: it’s coming-of-age story is horrific even without supernatural elements, it’s cast of characters resemble classic American archetypes from many of King’s other works, and its adaptation into a four hour mini-series staring Tim Curry as Pennywise in 1990 has haunted the imaginations of children for decades. Unfortunately, like the mini-series, the movie fails to deliver the long, unsettling moments that make the novel so thrilling. King’s story is a cocaine-fueled disaster that throws everything and the kitchen sink at viewers when compressed onto the screen. The truly terrifying elements of the book lose their impact when delivered one after another without time to feel personally connected to each character. The genius of It is the paranormal evil’s ability to hone in on a person’s darkest fears. Without deep empathy for all of The Losers, the individualized psychological torture is muted when reduced to jump-cuts. For what it’s worth, the film does its best with a jumble of sub-plots and the Pennywise origin story, but as the tone bounces from wide shots of small town Maine and the painful trauma of abuse to titled zooms of CGI monsters and an over-the-top soundtrack, something is lost. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Publishing office, 1985: “So, wait. The kids fuck?” the editor asks, disgusted. King vacuums another white rail into his nasal cavity. “Huh?! Oh. Yeah, sure. I guess. Does that happen? Jesus, I’m so fucked up right now. What day is it? What were you saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s like, love is the opposite of fear, bridge to adulthood or something. Do you have any booze around here?”

It Comes At Night - More utterly depressing than terrifying and a reminder that the greatest horror we’ll likely ever face is simply the limits of our own humanity. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

It Follows - An uncomfortable and honest take on how sexuality is intertwined with the horror myth. One for the ages. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. The real terror is HPV. 

Jaws - A masterpiece that’s too easily remembered for its cultural impact than artist merit. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. R.I.P. Chrissie Watkins, you were a free spirit as wild as the wind.

The Killing of a Sacred Deer - Yorgos Lanthimos‘s follow up to The Lobster isn’t as well done, but the wide shots, odd lines, and increasingly bizzare build-up are all present. The finale is near perfect, but takes a bit too long to reach. I’d really like to give this film a higher score, but alas: 3 out of 5 pumpkins. There’s nothing wrong, yet something is missing.

Kiss of the Damned - There are handful of potential interesting scenes and the internal drama of a vampire family is a potentially the foundation for a good film. Despite this, Xan Cassavetes’s film never manages to actually be all that interesting. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. There’s nothing terrible here, but also nothing remarkable.

Knock Knock - Two hotties do my man Keanu dirty. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Eli Roth is a better actor than director.

The Lair of the White Worm - A campy demon flick from Altered States director Ken Russell. Staring Hugh Grant, Peter Capaldi, and Amanda Donohoe, the plot is loosely based on Bram Stroker’s last novel, which has a few similarities to H. P. Lovecraft's novella The Shadow Over Innsmouth, which was made into the Spanish film Dagon. Very British all around, a bit like Hot Fuzz meets Clue, this could have been played straight and potentially been scary, but Russell didn’t intend to be serious. A topless snake demon wearing a death strap-on to sacrafice a virgin can’t be taken as *cinema* after all. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Not great film by any stretch, but pretty fun!

Lake Mungo - Presented as a made-for-TV type of mystery documentary, this could have really turned out poorly. Despite some unnecessary plot additions, this movie really stuck with me. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Sadder than you might expect.

The Langoliers - Balki Bartokomous is the villain in this made-for-TV special. He is terrible and the rest of the cast is packed with 90s no-name actors and a child actor that might as well be the blind version of a kid Liz Lemon. You know how Stephen King writes himself into every. single. story? In this case it's not even as a plot device, it's just a character to fill space like an obvious oracle. In the book, the character tearing paper is a subtle, unsettling mannerism you assume happens quietly in the background, but because television writers treat their audiences like distracted five year-olds, this action becomes a reoccurring focus with no point or context. One of the best parts about the book was imagining the wide, empty space of the Denver airport. Of course, shutting down an entire airport would be expensive, so most of the interactions take place in a single terminal, which is just as boring as being stuck at the airport yourself. Two 1994-era Windows screen savers eat Balki at the end, then, like, all of reality, maaaaaaaan. The more I think about it, this story might have been the unconscious basis for a strong Salvia freak out I once had. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Dear male, white writers, we all know that no one actually fucks writers in real life - that's why you're all so angry. Stop creating these protagonists equipped with impossible pussy-magnets. Stop. Staaaaaaaahp.

The Last House of the Left - Wes Craven’s debut isn’t much of a horror, but a revenge tale that contains no build up or sense of dread, but an immediate and unrelenting assault of its characters and the audience. It’s well-made, and the rape revenge tale is older than Titus Andronicus, but that doesn’t mean it’s something worth viewing. There’s no joy; it’s Pink Flamingos without the camp. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. No doubt impactful, but really best viewed as a piece of history with a critical eye and not for entertainment.

The Legend of Hell House - A well made haunted house film that holds up forty years later. Pamela Franklin, playing a medium, carries much of the movie. Her foil, the physicist, is a strange character. He apparently believes people, and even dead bodies, can manifest surreal, electromagnetic energies, but not in “surviving personalities.” Yet, he still orders this giant “reverse energy” machine to “drain” the house of its evil before they even set out to research house. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Dangerous diner parties, the insatiable Mrs. Barret, mirrored ceilings and kick ass Satan statues everywhere - this house seems pretty great, actually.

The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires - A blast to watch, but not truly great. Unfortunately, I’ve only seen the edited version (The 7 Brothers Meet Dracula) that mixes up the beginning for no real reason and wonder how much better the original cut might be. Still, vampires! Kung Fu! Peter Cushing! 3 out of 5 pumpkins.


Let the Right One In - Beautiful and terribly haunting. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Likely the best horror movie this generation will get.

Let Me In - Surprising good. Unnecessary, yes. But still good. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: I once watched an *ahem* found copy of Matt Reeves‘s Dawn of the Planet of the Apes without the ape subtitles and thought it was a brave choice to make the audience sympathize with the common humanity among our species. I was also pretty high.

Life After Beth - Jeff Baena‘s horror comedy features a terrific Aubrey Plaza, but Dane DeHaan’s character leaves a lot to be desired. It seems like the film is trying to save something about life, love, and family, but never finds its voice. A fine, funny movie to watch on a rainy afternoon. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Lifeforce - Directed by Tobe Hooper (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) and written by Dan O'Bannon (Alien) is a film the suffers from “the disease of more.” The entire concept of space vampires is rad as hell, but a $25 million budget and a 70 mm production couldn’t save what ends up being a boring trod and a jumbled ending that somehow makes major city destruction tiring. Though, to be fair, this was well before Independence Day. Colin Wilson, author of the original source material, said it was the worst movie he has ever seen. I wouldn’t go that far, but during a special 70 mm screening, the theater host chastised the audience in advance to not make fun of the movie during the showing because it was “a great film.” Reader, it is not. But Mathilda May looks real good naked and there are a couple cool, gory shots. So, there’s that. I guess. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Patrick Stewart is in this for all of like 10 minutes, but is still listed as a main character.

The Lighthouse - From The Witch’s Robert Eggers, this film is objectively a great work of art. Brooding, stark, and compelling performances from Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson—all the elements add up into a unique and disturbing experience. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. All that said, in the same way I consider Death Spa a 2 pumpkin movie you should see, this is a 4 pumpkin movie you could probably skip. It’s not entertaining in the traditional sense, and likely not one you’d want to really ever see again. The Eggers brothers made something weirdly niche and it’s fine if it stays that way.

Little Evil - A serviceable comedy that isn’t all that scary or even gory, which is a disappointment considering Eli Craig’s Tucker & Dale vs. Evil was so good. There are a few nods to famous horror movies that make a handful of scene enjoyable, but otherwise it’s purely background material. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Little Monsters - A Hulu original that’s pretty fun, if ultimately standing on the shoulders of giants like George A. Romero and Edgar Wright. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

A Lizard in a Woman's Skin - Lucio Fulci’s erotic mystery starts out with groovy sex parties and hallucinations, but quickly gets dull in the middle with extended scenes of psychological assessment, only to wind up where we all started. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Lodge - A good exercise in isolation horror that, while a bit slow, ratchets up the tension and horror with each act. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Damn kids.

The Lost Boys - A fun, campy 80s vampire flick you’ve likely heard of or even seen. I get why it’s cemented in popular culture, but at the end of the day it’s a Joel Schumacher film with a silly plot. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Love Witch - Somewhere between earnest satire and homage, The Love Witch is a well-crafted throwback to 1960s schlock. Weaving in contemporary gender critique, the film is more than just a rehash of its sexual fore-bearers. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Mandy (2018) - Like watching a bad trip from afar, Beyond the Black Rainbow director Panos Cosmatos (son of the Tombstone director) pulls off a trippy, dreadful film that starts out with story that follows logic and consequence before giving over to the full weirdness of Nicholas Cage’s uniquely unhinged style of acting. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Jóhann Jóhannsson’s score is superb.

Midsommar - Though not as good as Aster’s Hereditary, Midsommar sticks with you longer. Eerie throughout and disturbing, but not frightening in the traditional sense, it’s no surprise this film seems to split viewers into devoted fans and downright haters. Florence Pugh’s performance is wonderful and the scenes of drugged-out dread are far better than what was attempted in Climax. Some critics have called the film muddled and shallow, and certainly the “Ugly American” character fits in the later, but I found it to be a remarkably clear vision compared to the jumbled ending of Hereditary. That said, it’s not a scary movie, it’s simply unnerving. Should a male director and writer be the one to tell this tale? Probably not. But it’s not wholly unredemptive. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. I first gave this film 3 pumpkins, but the more I think about it, the more it lingers. That counts for something. One more pumpkin to be exact.

Mimic - Without del Toro’s name attached, perhaps this movie wouldn’t be judged so harshly. Yet, though the shadowy, lingering shots he’s know for give a real sense of darkness to the picture, it’s a chore to sit through and is especially frustrating toward the end. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Mist - Watch the black and white version, which adds an ol’ timey feel to this Lovecraftian tale from Steven King and makes always-outdated CGI a bit more palpable. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Monster (2016) - From The Strangers Bryan Bertino, this monster movie that ties in a trouble mother/daughter relationship doesn’t ever overcome its limitations and poor character decisions that get protagonists in deeper trouble. Zoe Kazan does what she can to carry the role. Not bad, but not much below the surface. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Monsters (2010) - A slow-burn that relies on its actors to push the suspense of a road-trip-style plot, leaving the special effects for subtle and beautiful moments. Arguably more of a sci-fi thriller than a true horror flick, it’s still worth viewing if you’re looking for something spooky. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

mother! - Like many of Aronosky’s films, mother! is difficult to define by genre. Though not a typical haunted house film, the bloody, unsettling aspects make it more than a typical psychological thriller. Haunting in a similar fashion of Black Swan, yet broader in theme like The Fountain, this movie is challenging, disturbing and frustrating in the sense that, as a mere viewer, you’re left feeling like there’s something you’ll never fully understand despite being beaten over the head. An not-so-subtle allegory about love, death, creation, mankind, god, and the brutality women must endure, it’s a hideous reminder that, upon even the briefest reflection, life’s cosmic journey is macabre. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Ms. 45 - Ahead of its time, especially considering the unfortunate “rape revenge” sub-genre that seemed to cater to male fantasy than female empowerment. Still, it’s slow build and random scenes toward the finale leave it wanting. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Oh, the knife is a dick. I get it. 

Murder Party - A bit like Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, but for New York art kids. Even for being a horror comedy, there’s only like 20 minutes of horror, which is too bad as there’s material to mine instead of a prolonged rooftop chase scene. If this was a studio production, it’d probably just get 2 pumpkins, but given it’s $200k budget and at-the-time unknown cast, it’s a solid first feature for Jeremy Saulnier and Macon Blair, who went on to make some truly great films. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

National Lampoon’s Class Reunion - Flat out awful; neither a comedy nor a horror. Writer John Hughes claims he was fired from production, though that doesn’t hold much water considering he’s credited as “Girl with bag on head” and went on to write several other Lampoon movies. Director Michael Miller didn’t make another feature film for almost thirty years, which wasn’t long enough. 0 out of 5 pumpkins.

Near Dark - Kathryn Bigelow‘s sophomore film is hampered by its ultimate ending, but the story is original and well produced. Even Bill Paxton’s over-the-top performance is enjoyable. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Worst. Vampire. Ever.

The Neon Demon - A spiritual successor to Suspiria, this film from Drive director Nicolas Winding Refn is beautifully shot, but ultimately empty. While both Jena Malone and Keanu Reeves breathe life into their small roles, the cast of models rarely shine. The horrific ending goes a step too far without lingering long enough to truly shock. Though much better than the extremely similar Starry Eyes, it’s difficult to give this film a higher rating. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth watching for a couple standout scenes. 

Night of the Living Dead - Viewed today the film seems almost tame, but in 1968 it was lambasted for being too gorey and sparked calls for censorship. And to its credit, there wasn’t anything else like it at the time. Romero’s incredibly small budget, Duane Jones‘s great performance, and the film’s unintended symbolism make its success all the more impressive. Kudos to MoMA and The Film Foundation for restoring this important piece of cinema history. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. I argue this is a sci-fi film, if you think about it.

A Night to Dismember (The "Lost" Version) - This version appeared on YouTube in the summer of 2018, decades after it was originally filmed. The version that was released in 1989 on VHS, and later in 2001 on DVD, was entirely re-shot with adult film actress Samantha Fox after a disgruntled processing employee destroyed the original negatives. The re-shoot gave the released version of movie its “sexplotation” vibe that director Doris Wishman was know for producing, but he original version is more of a straight-forward psychotic slasher movie with only a scene of campy nudity and stars Diana Cummings, instead of Fox. Gone is the striptease, sex hallucinations, detective character, and asylum plot that were slapped together in the released version, leaving a still somewhat jumbled story of a young woman who goes on a killing spree after becoming possessed by her dead mother, who died in pregnancy, leaving her an orphan. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Poor Mary. Poor Vicki.

Nightmare on Elm Street - Why this movie sparked a generations-long series is almost as puzzling as how Children of the Corn pulled it off as well. The movie flat out ignores basic storytelling devices. Recalling the overall plot, you’re not even sure if the main character is better off alive or dead, given the horrifying reality she already exists within. Consider this: Her father is an authoritarian cop leading the world’s worse police force and her mother is a drunk, possessive vigilante arsonist. University doctors are so inept they focus solely on Colonial-era medicine to the point of ignoring a metaphysical phenomenon, believing teenage girls are attention-starved enough to smuggle hats embroidered with a dead child-killer’s name inside their vaginas to a sleep deprivation study. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. So much for the classics. At least this gave us the future gift of inspiring Home Alone-style defense antics.

Not of This Earth (1988) - This film, and I mean that artistically, was made because the director, Jim Wynorskin, bet he could remake the original on the same inflation-adjusted budget and schedule as the 1957 version by Roger Corman. Traci Lords makes her non-adult film debut and is a better actor than the rest of the cast combined. The gem isn’t so bad it’s good, it’s so godawful it’s incredible. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. I was looking for the trashiest horror movie on Netflix, and I believe I have found it.

One Cut of the Dead - Know as little as possible going into this one. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. It’s impossible to not enjoy this film.

One Dark Night - Starts out interesting, but quickly gets forgetable even with the central location of a haunted cemetery. Worth putting on the background. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Aaaaaadddaaaammmm Weeeeessssst.

The Others - Well-paced, nicely shot, superior acting by Nicole Kidman, ominous tone through out, great ending. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. One of my personal favorites.

Pan's Labyrinth - del Torro’s best work, combining the tinges of war dread and the fantastical elements that would go on to be a key part of his other films. Pale Man is one of the creepiest monsters to ever be captured on screen. Perhaps the biggest horror is that though you’ll cheer for the anarchists, the historical fact is that the Nationalists won and established a dictatorship for nearly forty years. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. No god, no country, no master.

The People Under the Stairs - When the main character of a horror movie would be better placed in a zany after-school sitcom, the entire story is bound to fail. Little did I know how far. Twin Peaks actors aside, the rest of the this movie is so convoluted and poorly explained that it made me hate Panic Room somewhat less. They can't all be winners. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. At the end of this movie, a house explodes and money rains down on poor, mostly black people. Thanks, Wes Craven!

Pet Sematary (2019) - Uninspiring, uneven, and mostly uneventful. 1 out of 5 pumpkins.

Poltergeist - If you haven't seen this Steven Speilberg produced & written, but not directed horror movie, it's worth a modern viewing. Original, yet tinged with all the classic elements of fear, this movie manages to tug on the heartstrings like a family-friendly drama while still being creepy as hell. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. The best, most expensive Holiday Inn commercial ever made.

Pontypool - Good, but not as great as hyped. Characters are introduced haphazardly and the explanation for the horror barely tries to make sense. Still, not bad for a movie with essentially three characters stuck in a single location. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Possession (1981) - Described by some die-hard horror fans as a “must see,” I guess I agree. It’s by no means a masterpiece, but it’s bizarre enough to take the time to check out. It’s a sort of Cold War psychological horror as if written by Clive Barker and directed by David Cronenberg. Of course that comparison is necessary for American readers, but Polish director Andrzej Żuławski is an art-house favorite, whose second film was banned by his home government, causing him to move to France. Often panned for “over acting,” Isabelle Adjani actually won best actress at Cannes in 1981. Though, you may find one particular scene as if Shelley Duvall is having a bad acid trip. Part of the appeal of seeing this film is the difficulty in finding a copy. The DVD is out of print, and the new Mondo Blu-ray is limited to 2,000 copies at $70 a piece. Good luck. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. If you’re looking for something weird and very European, seek it out.

Prometheus - Perhaps because Ridley Scott’s return the franchise was expected to be such a welcome refresher after the abysmal failures of others in the series, this one was a pretty big let down. Though there are some cool concepts and frightening scenes, there are anger-inducing plot mistakes and zero sympathetic characters. Michael Fassbender’s performance is terrific, yet not enjoy to be an enjoyable view. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Psycho - Not as great at The Birds, but still one of the best. The superb shots, painfully slow clean up of the first kill, it’s no wonder why the film is landmark for horror. Anthony Perkins is tremendous. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Remember when Gus Van Sant remade this shot-for-shot for literally no reason and lost $30 million? It’s like he has to make one really terrible bomb after each critical hit and then crawl back again.

Pumpkinhead - The production quality of this 80s horror flick is surprisingly high, especially the Henson-like monster. Long story short - asshole dude bro accidentally kills hick kid, hick father calls up demon to seek revenge. All in all, not a bad movie. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Given the title, the monster's head in this movie is shockingly not very pumpkin-like. Boo.

A Quiet Place - John Krasinski gets a lot of credit for playing a well-intentioned father, which is an easier bridge to his well-known character from The Office, rather than a military member, like in many of his other projects. Emily Blunt is wonderful as is Millicent Simmonds. The creatures are scary, reminiscent of The Demogorgon in Stranger Things, and the plot is decent, even without much of an ending. I’ll be honest, I didn’t really want to enjoy this film as much as I did. It seemed too “mainstream.” And, it is. But it’s also a well-executed, well-acted, well-produced product, which is much more difficult to pull off than it sounds. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth recommending to friends who aren’t even horror fans.

Rabid - No where near the level of Cronenberg’s best or even his subsequent film The Brood, but still very good. Apparently Cronenberg wanted Sissy Spacek to play the lead, but was shot down by the producers. Obviously Marilyn Chambers was selected to play up the porn star angle in the hopes of greater marketing for the indie, horror film out of Canada, but she does a great job in her first mainstream role. If you like any Cronenberg has done, you should watch this one. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Raw - A terrific coming-of-age, sexual-awakening, body-horror film that manages to retain its heart even as it pushes the limits. One of the best horror movies of the last decade. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Nom-nom.

Re-Animator - Creepy actor Jeffrey Combs is also in The Frighteners, which makes it a good nod in that flick. "Say hello to these, Michael!" When you see it, you'll get it. What can be said of this movie? It's crazy. It's great. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Gory, campy, funny and scary all at once, a definite classic.

Ready or Not - I wouldn’t go so far as to call this movie “clever,” but it’s certainly better than its absurd premise. Samara Weaving’s performance is really the only thing that keeps people watching. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Killing all the attractive help is played off as a joke, but . . . it’s not? At least rich people die.

Repulsion - After having to listen to her sister being drilled by some limey prick night after night in their shared apartment and a series of unwanted street advances triggers her past trauma, a young woman rightfully kills a stalker turned home intruder and her rapist landlord. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Return of The Living Dead  - This movie doesn’t give a wink and nod to horror tropes, it reaches out of the fourth wall to slap you in the face to create new ones. There’s an entire character that is just naked the whole movie. I understand that just because it’s a joke it doesn’t mean it’s not still sexist. But, also, you know, boobs. 4 out 5 pumpkins. What was created as camp became the foundation for modern zombies.

Return of the Living Dead III - A love story of sorts that takes a more series turn than the original. At first, I didn’t enjoy the uneven balance of camp and earnestness, but it oddly grows on you. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth watching to see what you think.

The Ritual - A Netflix original that is better than it needs to be about regret, trauma, and fear that gets right into the action and wraps fairly satisfying. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Rosemary's Baby - If you're looking for a sure party killer this October, put on this number and watch your guests fall asleep! Often forgot, the beginning and end of Rosemary's Baby are terrifying, expertly filmed scenes of dread, but the middle is a two-hour wink to the film's conclusion revolving around an expectant mother. Still, few other films can capture fear the way Polanski's does; all the more impressive that it stands up today. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. If you haven't seen this film, you owe it to yourself to watch it this season.

Scanners - Cronenberg’s 1981 film feels like a much more successful version of what De Palma attempted with The Fury. Dark, paranoid, and ultra-gory in key scenes, Scanners isn’t quite the perfect sci-fi horror, but it’s damn close. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Scream - For a movie that birthed an annoying amount of sequels and spoofs, it's sort of sad that Wes Craven's meta-parody ended up creating a culture of the very movies he was trying to rail against. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Worth watching again, even if you saw it last year.

Sea Fever - A good, but not great, tense thriller on sea. Plus, an important lesson in quarantine. Ultimately, it doesn’t go far enough to present its horror. A well-made, and even well-paced film with a limited cast and sparse special effects, though. There’s nothing explicitly “wrong” as the movie progresses, but a tighter script and bigger ratcheting of the horror could have made it a classic. The ending is kinda cheesy the more I think about it. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Could’ve used a sex scene with some impending doom is all I’m saying!

The Sentinel - I really wanted to love this one. Downstairs lesbians! Birthday parties for cats! Late 70s New York! Alas, its shaky plot and just baffling lack of appropriate cues make it mostly a jumbled mess only worth watching if that slow-burn 70s horror aesthetic is your thing. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Shallows - Mostly a vehicle for Blake Lively’s launch from TV to the big screen, this movies isn’t particularly good or bad. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. The shark has a powerful vendetta against Lively. What did she do?!

Shaun of the Dead - First in Three Flavours Cornetto, some of the jokes don’t land as well as they did in 2004, but still a great spin on the zombie genre with loads of laughs and a bit of heart. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Shining - The pinnacle of the form. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. "So why don't you start now and get the fuck outta here!" Harsh, but come on, Wendy kinda sucks.

Shivers - Cronenberg’s 1975 shocker flick is . . . fine. You certainly get to see how some of his body horror themes started. Cronenberg himself seems to see it as more of a film to watch to understand what not to do as a young director. If you’re a completist, definitely check it out. Otherwise just skip to 1977′s Rabid, if you’re looking for Cronenberg’s earlier work. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Not bad considering it was shot in two weeks.

Silent Night, Deadly Night - Whoo, boy. This one’s a ride. A decidedly anti-PC flick that caused calls for boycotts when it was first released, this movie is full of assault and uncomfortable situations. It’s also hilarious, gory, and worth watching in a large group. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Punish.

Sleepaway Camp - I must be missing something, because like Children of the Corn, I can’t understand why this movie became a cult-classic. A guy who openly talks about wanting to rape children is gruesomely maimed, so there’s that? I guess. A couple of these “kids” are definitely 34, while others are 14. Is this the basis for Wet Hot American Summer? I don’t know or care. 2 out 5 pumpkins. Just watch Friday the 13th.

Slither - Almost on the level of other spoofs, but with a few groan-worthy moments. Definitely one to watch if looking for something fun. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Not for the bug fearing.

The Slumber Party Massacre - Rita Mae Brown wrote this movie as a parody of the slasher genre that spawned so many Halloween copycats. It’s a bit unfortunate that we didn’t get her version. Author of pioneering lesbian novel Rubyfruit Jungle, Brown’s script was turned into a more straight-forward flick, giving the movie some baffling humor, like when one of the girls decides to eat the pizza from the dead delivery boy, and some untended humor, like the Sylvester Stallone issue of Playgirl. Lesbians undertones still prevail, as do lingering shots of gratuitous nudity, and enough phallic symbolism to write a paper about. All in all, a fun, albeit uneven movie with pretty decent dialogue. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: Director Amy Holden Jones got her start as an assistant on Taxi Driver, passed on editing E.T. after Roger Corman offered to finance early filming for her directorial debut, and later went on to write Mystic Pizza, Beethoven, Indecent Proposal, and The Relic. Bonus fact: Playgirl was able to get nude photos of Stallone based on his first movie The Party at Kitty and Stud’s (aka The Italian Stallion), for which Stallone was reportedly paid $200 to star in during a period in his life when he was desperate and sleeping in a New York bus station.

The Slumber Party Massacre II - If the first movie was a knock-off of Halloween, this is a bizarre rip-off of The Nightmare on Elm Street with a rockabilly twist. It’s hard to tell if this is a parody or a sort of musical vehicle for the Driller Killer, who—to his credit—is somehow almost charismatic enough to it pull off. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Somehow the weirdest movie I’ve ever watched.

The Slumber Party Massacre III - A return to form, in some respects. All the elements of the original are there: a slumber party, gratuitous nudity, a drill. But the driller killer’s poor-man’s Patrick Bateman character quickly becomes tired. Not terrible for a slasher flick, but not very good either. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. How many lamps to the head can Ken take? 

Species - If I asked you to name a movie staring Sir Benjamin Kingsley, Alfred Molina, Forest Whitaker and Michelle Williams, would you guess Species? No, no you fucking wouldn't. We all know Species, but I, like most, erased it from my memory. This was helpful for two reasons: first because for about the first half of the movie, you think there might be a decent flick happening - baring some obvious flaws of a blockbuster. Second because - holy shit - you get to see a ton of naked breasts in this movie, like way more than I remember. Unfortunately, about halfway through Species someone must have come in and realized having the B-squad Scully & Mulder be one step behind every instinct killing was boring as shit, and flashing tits every 20 mins wasn't going to hack it. Whatever Hollywood dickbag crafted this turd failed to realize the casting of the actor forever known as Bud from Kill Bill is the only white, macho-postering character that morons want to root for. And so we get a squint-faced protagonist getting blow jobs from a coworker scientist and an ending dumber than the boob tentacles he should have been strangled with. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. There are worse horror movies, but there are also much better ones.

Starry Eyes - A thinly-veiled critique on Hollywood’s abusive history with actresses, the movie starts out well, but lags in the third act before a gruesome finale. Sort of a low-rent Mulholland Drive. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Watch out for that barbell, Ashley. 

The Stuff - Odd, mostly because of its uneven tone. Like if The Blob, The Live, and Canadian Bacon raised a baby and that disappointed its parents, like all babies eventually do. There are some good horror and comedic moments, but none of which make it great. The sound editing is remarkably bad, and the poor cuts make no sense given its scope. Oh well. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Suspiria - More of a focus on set, sound, and color than characters, Suspiria is reminiscent of the Japanese classic House, but with a more straightforward story. The Italian director, English language, and German setting make for an interesting, offbeat feel that adds to the overall weirdness of the movie. One cringe worthy scene in particular makes up for its immediate lack of logic, and the soundtrack by Goblin stands up on its own. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Sexist note: there’s a shocking lack of boobs given the subject matter.

Suspiria (2018) - Another in a long line of unnecessary remakes, though technically more of an homage. Luca Guadagnino’s version was supposedly developed for years alongside Tilda Swinton, who plays three different characters. Truthfully, without any attachment to the original, this could have been a muddled, but remarkable film. Thom Yorke’s score is perfect in certain scenes, yet detracting in others. The plot is similar in this manner. Some scenes are haunting and dense, but others needlessly detailed. The dance scenes are terrific, but weighed down by the larger war themes. The ending’s gore-fest is hampered by too much CGI, but still demonically fun. Fans of the original won’t find the weird, colorful elements to love, but it’s a good movie, albeit thirty minutes too long. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Taking of Deborah Logan - Good premise; found footage in the vein of Blair Witch Project of a demon possession disguised as Alzheimer’s disease. But, the movie can’t decide if it wants to stick to its foundation of a student documentary or veer into the studio-style editing and affects of theatrical release. Which is unfortunate as the former would have made it stand-out among a pack of mediocre ghost stories, while the later distracts from the setting it seeks to establish. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Teeth - A movie about the myth of vagina dentata could have been absolutely deplorable, but with the bar so low, Teeth does a pretty good job. Jess Weixler is a functional actress, not necessarily stand-out, but certainly far better than the role requires. Trying to tightrope walk between comedy and horror is never a task a creator should set out upon without a clear vision. Unfortunately, this one seems a bit blurry. One its release, Boston Globe said the movie “runs on a kind of angry distrust toward boys.” Not bad advice. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Terrifier - Do you want to see a naked woman hung upside down and sawed from gash to forehead? Then this is the movie for you. That’s it. There’s not much else here. Gino Cafarelli is good as the pizza guy. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. The clown is scary, though.

The Terror - A classic haunted throwback from Roger Corman, but without the nudity and gore his later work is infamous for. A young Jack Nicholson proves he was always kind of a prick. Boris Karloff does his best. The plot is pretty boring, but it’s a decent movie that you might stumble upon on a lazy afternoon on cable TV. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Tobe Hooper’s 1974 persuasive argument for vegetarianism is just as terrifying today as it was when it was released. Just as Halloween launched a thousand imitators, the hues and low angles in this film set the standard for horror for years and, unfortunately, laid the groundwork for more exploitative movies offered referred to as “torture porn.” Though gory, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s sense of weird dread is established well before the chainsaw rips, and though many have tried to follow in its footsteps, none have captured the lighting that adds to the overall queasy moments of the film. There’s a kind of simplistic beauty to such unexplained brutality, and perhaps because it was first, all others since haven’t seemed as artistically valuable. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. So, umm, what do you think happened to the Black Maria truck driver?

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) - The only decent carry over from this remake is John Larroquette as the narrator. Over-washed tones, over-the-top gore and unsympathetic characters make this film more than unnecessary, placing among the worst horror remakes of all time. Robert Ebert gave it one of his rare 0 stars, reserved for works he found genuinely appalling such as I Spit On Your Grave, The Human Centipede 2, and most infamously John Waters’s Pink Flamingos. 1 out of 5 pumpkins.

They Live - “I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass… And I'm all out of bubblegum." 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Thing - Trying to give this film an honest review is almost impossible. Cast out on its release for being too bizarre and gory, Carpenter’s nihilist tale has since come to be seen as a masterpiece for its special effects, bleak tone, and lasting impact on other creators. Is it perfect? No, but it’s damn close. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. MacReady’s assimilated. Deal with it.

Train to Busan - A bit too predictable, but a solid, well-paced zombie action flick that’s smarter than most American blockbusters from Korean director Yeon Sang-ho, who is better known for his semi-autobiographical animated features. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

Tucker & Dale vs. Evil - I really didn't expect much out of this movie, but it's actually really, really funny and a really gory spoof. Not quite on the scale of The Cabin in the Woods, but still pretty damn great. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. If you don't think people getting hacked up by a chainsaw in certain contexts can be funny, then this probably ain't your bag.

Twins of Evil - An enjoyable, somewhat smutty vampire movie from the famous British studio Hammer Films, staring Peter Cushing and Playboy Playmates the Collinson twins. Directed by John Hough, who also directed The Legend of Hell House, the film doesn’t break any new ground and is loaded with over-acting, but it’s well-paced, wonderfully set, and generally fun to watch, where the Puritan witchfinders are just as horrible as the vampires. Not as great as Black Sunday, but still worth viewing. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Let Joachim speak, you racists.

Under the Skin - Mesmerizing and haunting. The less you know going into this film the better. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. Quite possibly Scarlett Johansson’s best work.

Under the Silver Lake - Technically a “comedic neo-noir,” whatever the fuck that means; in any case David Robert Mitchell (It Follows) tries to do too much over too long of a run time. Andrew Garfield gives a decent performance, especially considering he’s in almost every frame of the film. But the edge-of-subtly that made It Follows so modern and terrifying is replaced by a silk, wandering, and heavy-handed stroll through the powerful Los Angeles entertainment Illuminati. Certainly there’s material there, but instead of being a radical stab at the very real institutions of pop-culture that treat young women as nothing more than disposable meat, we drift in and out of a young man’s lust that revels in objectification without the sleazy charm of exploitation flicks or the critical eye of outright satire. Even the eerily presence of the Owl Woman can’t level-up what is an exercise in arrested development for hipsters. 2 out of 5 pumpkins. Despite this negative review, Mitchell still has plenty of potential to make another great film. Whether he deserves that chance is different question.

Us - Jordan Peele’s second film is even better than his great debut. Us isn’t perfect, but hints at what Peele could create in the future. Unnecessary explanation and slightly oddly timed humor are present, like in Get Out, but more restrained. Peele’s talent for making modern horror accessible to the widest audience is laudable. Still, I can’t wait to see what he makes two or three films down the road. I suspect more than one could come close to equaling that of Kubrik’s The Shinning. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. 

Vampire’s Kiss - Is it a horror? Is it a comedy? Is it a parody? Drama? This movie truly defies genre due to the inexplicable acting choices made by Nicholas Cage. His odd affectation doesn’t change from sentence to sentence, but word to word. It’s like he’s trying to play three different characters across three different acts all at once. Is it good? Not really. But, I mean, see it. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Vampyros Lesbos - After vigorous encouragement from my academic colleagues, I decided to watch this 1971 Spanish-German film for, umm, science. Shot in Turkey and staring the tragic Soledad Miranda, Jesús Franco’s softcore horror jumps right into full-frontal nudity and attempts a sort of story involving Count Dracula that moves forward through uninteresting monologues and shaky camera work. It’s not awful, but there’s no reason to watch it. If it was playing in the background at a dive bar, it might have a tinge of charm. Other than some close moments of near-unapologetic queer sex, despite being created almost entirely for the male gaze, it’s just another in the pile of European exploitation. Still, it’s fun to daydream about Istanbul being ruled by a dark-haired demonic lesbian; beats the hell out of what we have in our reality. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. Fun fact: The soundtrack found renewed fame in 1990′s Britain, causing it to finally find distribution into America.

The Vault - A serviceable, but ultimately boring horror take on a bank heist that tries to hard to end with a twist. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

V/H/S - Every review I've seen for this movie is generally positive, but that only reaffirms my belief that most people are easily pleased by unintelligent, unoriginal bullshit. A Blair Witch-style story-within-a-story collection of shorts, I couldn't get past the first borderline date-rape, little-girl, sexually confused, monster story. Fuck this trope. Fuck this movie. The much delayed glorification of grisly murder of the offending male villains is hardly radical and only further supports the stereotypes of patriarchy much as it attempts to subvert a worn genre. 0 out of 5 pumpkins. I hate the world.

Videodrome - Cronenberg’s best film. James Woods’s best role; it’s a shame that he’s total piece of shit in real life. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Long live the new flesh.

The Wailing - Despite clocking in at over two and half hours, this part zombie/part demon horror movie from Korean director Na Hong-jin isn’t a slow burn, but rather an intriguing maze of twists and turns as the main character (and audience) struggles to find the truth about a mysterious, murderous diseases sweeping through a small village. Actor Do-won Kwak gives an especially captivating performance. Though the ending packs a powerful punch, the overlapping lies and half-truths told over the course of the film makes it a bit difficult to suss out the evil roots. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

We Are Still Here - What sets out as a slowly paced ghost story turns into something of a gore-fest towards the ends, which doesn’t make it bad so much out of place. 3 out fo 5 pumpkins. Could’ve been a contender.

We Are What We Are - A remake of Jorge Michel Grau’s 2010 film, the American version takes its time getting to the horror before going a step too far at the end. Still, the ever-present knowledge that you’re watching a cannibal film makes some of predictable moments all-the-more horrifying. 3 out of 5 pumpkins.

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare - The novel charm of Craven’s meta Freddy saga has worn with age. Heather Langernkamp is passable, but not enough to carry the film and Robert Englund out of makeup shatters the pure evil illusion of his character. Interesting to see some of the ideas that would later synthesize in Scream, but otherwise kind of a bore. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

The Witch: A New-England Folktale - A deeply unsettling period-piece that reflects on American religion and its violent fear of feminine power. 5 out of 5 pumpkins. Trust no goat.

The Witches - Roald Dahl’s story is ultimately crushed by a changed ending, however, Nicolas Roeg‘s adaptation up to that point is a fun, creepy movie people of any age can enjoy. 4 out of 5 pumpkins. It’s really a shame the original ending was changed.

Wolfcop - When a movie’s title promises so much, maybe it’s not fair to judge. But there’s so much campy potential in a werewolf cop picture that it’s kind of a bummer to see it executed at level that makes you wonder if it wasn’t made by high school kids whose favorite movie is Super Troopers. 1 out of 5 pumpkins. God, the movie’s horrible.

The World’s End - The final chapter in the Three Flavours Cornetto and the best, showcasing a wealth of talent at the top of their game. 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

XX - Admittedly, I don’t care much for the recent spring of short horror anthologies. Rarely do they have enough time to build the necessary suspense horror movies require. Still, two of the shorts are OK, one is pretty good, and one is bad. So, not a total loss. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

You’re Next - Home-invasion horror as never been my cup of hippie tea as it feeds into the 2nd Amendment hero fantasy of American males. That said, this dark-comedy take on it isn't bad. Some things don’t really add up. For example: Are you telling me that the deep woods home of a former defense corporation employee doesn’t have a single gun stashed somewhere? Bullshit. Anyway, who doesn’t want to see a rich family’s bickering dinner interrupted by a gang of psycho killers? 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Bonus rating: 6 out of 10 would fuck in front of their dead mother. (Sorry, mom.)

Zombeavers - No one would say this is a good movie, but it also doesn’t take itself too seriously. Not at funny as Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, and certainly more formulaic, this one’s only worth watching if you’re bored. 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

Zombi 2 - Lucio Fulci’s unofficial sequel to Dawn of the Dead is one of his best films. But even though Fulci crafted some of the best zombies to ever appear on screen—filmed in the bright, Caribbean sun, the film suffers, as most of his do, from some unnecessary, borderline confusing plot points and poor dubbing. Still, well worth watching on a lazy day, especially for the final act, when the protaganists fight off a zombie hoard inside a burning church. 3 out of 5 pumpkins. Bonus: topless scuba diving zombie shark fight, which is also my new DJ name.

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[mobius8]

The Starblaze Freedom Fighters, as done by the amazingly talented @zippityzap!

Alright, so, I’m not gonna do these guys from left and right, but, from what order they’re introduced in.

Sonic the Hedgehog, 13 years of age. Crashing/landing in the Green Hill Zone Garden section of the Acornian Capital city planet of Grand Acornia, Sonic the Hedgehog only seems to remember the past year of his life, that he spent on a more or less rural planet in the Hedgian territories. Still, when Grand Acornia is besieged by Doctor Robotnik of the Egg Empire, he’s not afraid to speed into action, and becomes one of the main figures of the Starblaze Freedom Fighters.

Princess Sally Acorn, 14 years of age. Daughter of the king of the Acornian sector, Nigel, Sally hasn’t been one to care much about being a princess for years now, except for when it helps her get into otherwise unaccessible places and situations. Her most recent years have mostly been spent learning martial arts, playing board games, reading on philosophies of tacticians, as well on territories outside of the Acornian sector, and wandering around the section of Grand Acornia she lives on, wondering when she will get to really see the stars for herself. Suddenly, a mysterious new hedgehog boy comes into play, arriving in an escape pod bearing the Royal Family Sigil of Hedgia, and, she’s intrigued, especially with all the mystery surrounding him. After Grand Acornia gets sieged, she starts becoming one of the main figures of the Starblaze Freedom Fighters.

Antoine D’Coolette, 17 years of age. The son of famed Acornian Military officer, and a descendant of a noble South Hedgian family, Antoine has lived, breathed, and Trained for the military, wanting to live up to the noble expectations of not only his family itself, but his honorable military father. However, ever since his father disappeared about a month ago, to try and help the Hedgian Military take back their space from the Egg Empire, he’s been a bit more awkward and nervous than usual. King Nigel, having seemingly understood what was bothering him after a few days, declared that he was to be one of his new military advisors, as well as part of his guard. Seeing that he had something to be strong for again, Antoine accepted, and, has been by his side for the past few weeks. However, he becomes suspicious of a certain new arrival, and convinces the king to make him Sonic’s escort, in order to keep an eye on him and the princess. Of course, he’s taken aback when Sonic and Sally don’t seem to mind, and even invite him out for ice cream. While’s no good at hand to hand combat, he is a trained swordsman, and, yet, has sworn off the blade, until he can either recover his father’s, or one from a previous member of his family. Still, his military type training and learning does benefit not only him, but the rest of the Starblaze Freedom Fighters.

Rotor the Walrus, 15 years old. As a young walrus, Rotor always had both an interest and a knack for technology. Sadly, this didn’t bring him any closer to his warrior father, Tundra, who hated technology, and decided pure strength was best, although it never did them all that great against the Northern Raiders. Deciding he would have a better life somewhere else, he left the Artikan sector at age 13, and ended up arriving in the Acornian sector, where he ended up being apprenticed to Sir Charles the Hedgehog. He’s a tech engineer, but, is mostly focused on the hardware, only bothering with programming on his most ambitious of projects. Or, at least, the ones he’s sure will impress. While Charles, AKA, Uncle Chuck, has never really been 100% sure that Rotor should be making weapons, even he can’t help but admit that not only do his weapon-making skills benefit the Starblazer starship itself, but the Starblaze Freedom Fighters as a whole.

Miles ‘Tails’ Prower, 9 years old. Son of Acornian Special Ops Commander, Amadeus Prower, his parents disappeared one day on a secret mission, when he was too young to remember much about them. Since then, he's mostly been raised by Uncle Chuck and Rosie, the former of whom discovered how proficient Miles was with tech, and decided to take him on as an apprentice at the age of six. Having worked with both Rotor and Charles for at least three years now, and having been friends with Ben Muttski for most of his life, Tails was mostly content, but, always felt like something was missing. As he gets to know Sonic, though, he'll feel like he finally has the big brother he always wanted, although, Rotor was still pretty awesome himself. He's more of a gadget and pragmatic based engineer, pretty willing to go into programming where Rotor won't. He's really good at flying machines and starships, though, which makes him perfect for the Starblaze Freedom Fighters!

Bunnie 'Rabbot' Rabbit, 16 years old. While not an initial member of the team, Bunnie's possibly one of its most valued members. Partially roboticized, she's not afraid to use her newfound powers to help the team! She's headstrong, but, has an interest in things like hairdressing. She doesn't like to talk about her past too much, though. What little the team knows about her origins, is that she's from a lawless planet called Mirage, where her two older brothers and uncle live. Still, despite her unwillingness to talk about her, she's the type of person that you can count upon just about always, and, a real heavy hitter of the team.

Amy Rose, 10 years old. A former daughter of Mercian Nobility, and cousin of Prince Rob herself, Amy's been on little planet for...Well, at least four years, to her knowledge, and perception. Some would think she lived alone, but, she wasn't alone. She was living with her two friends, Tekno and Gold. Tekno taught her to search for scrap, salvage, and supplies, while Gold helped her to understand the unique nature of the planet. She's seen little glimpses of time and space, but, those that she's actually cared about are glimpses of a certain team, and a blue hero. When the Starblazer Freedom Fighters come to stop Robotnik from ultimately using Little Planet to conquer the galaxy, Amy Rose jumps and smashes into action to help. Once the crisis is over, she decides to travel with the Starblazers, wanting to not only watch Sonic in action, but help the entire team.

Knuckles the Echidna, 14 years old. Knux has been...Mostly alone for a good chunk of his life, as far as he can recall. After his dad disappeared, he's been the guardian of the strange, utterly humongous flying island, kept aloft not only by the Master Emerald, but Ancient Echidna tech built literally around the island. The sole people he seems to get company from before he meets the Starblazers, are two people, he calls 'Granny' and 'Gramps', whose actual relationship to him is...Complicated. Still, they've managed to be a pretty nice family. Then, Robotnik came along, and convinced that the Evil Sonic the Hedgehog was trying to steal his Master Emerald! Believing him due to the Doctor's manipulations, he fights against the Starblazers at first, before realizing he's been tricked. After that, he, his granny and his gramps decide to help the group, and, he becomes the last classic saga Main Starblazer, smacking robots and evil doers with his huge fists.

#Sonic AU #Sonic AUs #Freedom Fighters #Starblaze Freedom Fighters #Mobius Loop #Sonic The Hedgehog #Sally Acorn #Antoine D'coolette #Rotor the Walrus #Miles 'Tails' Prower #Bunnie Rabbot #Amy Rose #Knuckles the Echidna

[lunelantern]

Naruto Manga is complex

~ Understanding Naruto Manga ~

🧠🏯📖🔦🕯️💡✏️✒️🖊️

[Phylisophy and interpretation🕯️ >>>>> than punches🥊]

... Such an infinitesimal and superficial leafing through the Manga infuriates me🤬

Naruto Manga broaches so many interesting and unique topics and far TOO MANY people still waste time into arguing whose character is stronger than the other and whose punches are stronger *sigh* 😩 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️

List of Naruto Manga themes and subjects:

1. Camaraderie - - as per particularly studied on soldiers, the bond of camaraderie between war soldiers is so strong that it stands on par with family bonds and even goes beyond; warriors are ready to die for each other and to save a friend. Same feelings and bond that's used as liaison to concept the dynamics between Ninja 3 man cells (Team 7, Team 10...);

2. Cosmogony - - the origins of the universe as imagined and depicted by the author in Naruto Universe, based on the Yin-yang dichotomy (the skeleton of the manga is constructed on the Yin and Yang parallelism - - Naruto and Sasuke);

3. Feminism and women empowerment - - the pioneers of the feminism in Naruto Manga (who also made an insidious and questionable disappearence in the parenting guide new Boruto Series 🤔 - - Tsunade and Ten Ten are a welcomed addagio in a deeply rooted patriarchal society, which should have been caresses and developed more, in addition to approaching and pulverizing the discrimination of childfreeness (see Kakashi, Gai sensei, Tsunade, Ten Ten...);

4. Politics - - needless to say that Naruto manga offers an ample introspection into politics and studies of security in a complex and intricate manner. The repertoire explores tyranny, communism, totalitarianism, democracy, anarchy, as well as the role of secret services and Intelligence (Itachi, Danzo, Uchiha, The Root), supported by illustrative characters;

5. Phylisophy and classic literature - - these avant-garde elements are a fresh dive first into the inner coordinates of every characters and highlight the author's superb analytical skills coupled wirh vast, deep savviness and knowledge of classic literature and phylisophy. Arthur Schopenhauer's nihilism, negativism and Antinatalism, Nietzche and Machiavelli's "The Prince" are just few notable examples of how the Manga's smart construction intertwines with classic notes, nuanced and valences. The entire construction and phylisophy of the Uchiha Clan is constructed based in phylisophy.

Uchiha Itachi's famous quotes paraphrase excerpts from Machiavelli's "The Prince" : "Men will not look at things as they really are, but as they wish them to be - and are ruined" (his words to Sasuke prior to their battle finale - - "all men like with false preconceptions that they call reality")

"I'm not interested in preserving the status quo; I want to overthrow it" (Niccolo Machiavelli) ~~ "The current system created THIS problem... I will execute the Five Kage in the Infinite Tsukuoymi... I want to become Hokage and change the world... What I want is... REVOLUTION!" (Uchiha Sasuke 😎)

"Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are." (Machiavelli) ~ "All of you, without measuring your own capacities... Had no idea of mine" and "How far are you able to see with THAT Sharingan of yours, Sasuke?" (Uchiha Itachi)

And probably the most iconic catchphrase that became the definition of the HOKAGE in the Manga "IT'S NOT TITLES THAT HONOR MEN, BUT MEN THAT HONOR TITLES" (Niccolo Machiavelli) ~~~ "You don't become Hokage to be acknowledge by everyone. The one who is acknowledged by everyone becomes the Hokage" (Uchiha Itachi).

... And examples are teeming.

You can't not love this mange, for it's abounding in brainy elements and phylosophic concepts, about the propose of life.

6. Bildungsroman - - as the German concept refers to a prose that portrays the development of a character form childhood to adulthood. Needles to say that Naruto manga is picture frame perfect definition of this principle of construction for we follow the main characters from childhood to adulthood in all the splendor of their complexity, dynamics and inner emotions.

7. Religion - - I'm always delightfully amazed at the author's genius to perfectly and objectively carry us on a journey through the phylisophy and dogmas of the Main World Religions. The elements of Buddhism and Hinduism perfectly blend with Christian notes (the Biblical reference of Eve and the original Sin are the foundation of Kaguya Otsutsuki the chakra progenitor aka Eve the first woman , Black Zetsu aka the Serpent and the Chakra Fruit aka the Apple of knowledge).

8. Love - - even though the Manga is an action oriented shonen manga, love is the antagonist feeling of pain that preserve and supports the tryumph of goodness, light, democracy and hope, as it produces the effect of catharsis or purification through Art. We have the grandios story of Sasuke and Sakura written in a sumptuous realistic romance and Naruto and Hinata as the complacent, peaceful and comfortable homey cohabitation as illustrative for an idealized family picture.

Love "come in many forms" (thank you, Uzumaki Karin) in Naruto Manga as the ultimate bond between shinobi.

9. Art and the Genius - - Deidra and Sasori are two unique, refresh and polivalent interesting characters, for they explore two themes that are rare in modern literature, namely the condition of the genius and the torment and inner demons of an artist. Their anthitetical plylosophy about the concept and the purpose of art as healing, everlasting and cathartic is brilliant. Sasori suggests that art encaptures the soul and emotions and the very "heart❤️" of the artist into a creation that preserved and defies time - art is supposed to encapute eternal beauty, art never dies, never grows old, art remains forever. While Deidra suggests that wet is a transient moment of shock, of pure visual impact that engages all the senses into a devastating "blast💣💫💥" that's irresistible and no one can escape it's fulminant powers.

The torment of the GENIUS, the hallucinating pain of a brilliant, introspective superior mind that's perceived as encompassing as harrowing and irresistible is perfectly limned through the evolution of the Manga Geniuses; all undergo tremendous physical and psychological torment that rams deep and consummate their very souls to the point where they borderline insanity and madness - Sasuke, Madara, Danzo, Itachi, Orochimaru.

10. Discrimination - - this is one of the Manga's laitmotif; nearly all the Manga conflicts stem from a form of discrimination, from the discrimination and ostracization of the Uchiha Clan and Naruto as the natural fear of the strongest from the weaker average men, to the discrimination of poor. And also we have some nuances of the discrimination of black people but the author does a great job into emphasizing their qualities (The Land of Lighting - - A, Killer B...) (I love the Rap references as the usage of art and music to voice their feelings and pain as a retort to discrimination and long-term oppression and white supremacy).

11. Paleo astronomy and ancient aliens - - that's definitely a bold, brave and new approach from the Master Masashi Kishimoto - sensei, which I can't help but applaud 👏👏👏 paleo-astronomy and ancient aliens link our terrestrial human life to extraterrestrial forms of life which dwleve deep into the origins of our hystory, existence, origins and evolution. Some claim that vestiges of their interference can be found in lost ancient temples, as well as irrefutable evidence of extraterrestrial and UFO contact with our ancestors (the Great Pyramid, the hierogliphs, the Nazca Lines, the Mayans and Inca temples, Stonehange...).

Boruto Manga revolves around the idea that Naruto Manga tossed in its closure; that aliens are in close contact with terrestrial beings. Otsutsuki Clan brought the chakra from the space and offered it to humans / Otsutsuki use the chakra to feed on themselves / Hagoromo's brother eloped to the moon and life evolved since then keeping portals on earth that connect the two planets.

And more recently, Sasuke is tracing Kaguya and the Otsutsuki while searching for ancient temples and hystorical vestiges from the Otsutsuki aliens (Kaguya's castles and ruins), just like a veritable paleo-astronomer.

Hats off for the author's avant-garde approach and vast knowledge 🎩

12. Pitagora's theorem, Euclid, the Tree of Life and Immortality - - Orochimaru in a nutshell. Orochimaru is the genius scientist who craves to defy death, obtain eternal life and endless knowledge. The basis of Pitagora's theorem has deep implications into unlocking the secrets of eternal life, as well as his geometry and Euclid's theorem; it's no coincidence that the theorem fits the construction of the Great Pyramid. And we have the Tree of the Chakra Fruit as the symbol of the Tree of Life that represents immortality and knowledge.

This list is nowhere near exhaustive, for the complexity of Naruto Manga spans further that my modest understanding of its concepts.

#Naruto manga #Naruto Manga interpretation #Naruto symbols #Naruto Manga is complex #Naruto interpretation #Naruto Manga analysis

[littlehollyleaf]

Name ten favourite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.) 

Then tag ten people

Tagged (ages ago, whoops!) by @castiel-saved-me-from-myself 

(I’m sorry, I got distracted!)

1.Supernatural. Castiel.

Obviously. I may be out of the fandom now, but I’ve never loved a character as much as Cas, and probably never will.

2. Good Omens. Aziraphale.

Thought I’d put both my darling angels at the top :) I suspect that without Zira there to pave the way Castiel may not even have existed, so I love him double - for himself and for Cas as well :p 

While really quite different when it comes to their personalities (just think how Zira would SHUDDER at Cas’ trenchcoat), they share a lot of character traits and tropes (mini-series!Zira anyway, maybe less so in the book, or less obviously anyway), so, no surprise that I should adore them both. I’ve also said before, and I stand by it, that Aziraphale is sort of a combination of my favourite aspects of both Cas and Dean in one, with Cas’ struggle with Heaven/god and trying to be a good angel and finding he loves humanity/earth more, plus Dean’s whole ‘performing Dean’ thing and repression of queer feelings he is scared to admit to (out loud) because he believes they are somehow ‘wrong.’ 

...just to give a little insight into my feelings about these two that was neither needed nor asked for...

4. Hellblazer. NBC Constantine. Legends of Tomorrow. John Constantine. 

Aaaand the other guy I love twice because Cas, and indeed spn in general, kinda owe their existence to him. Though in turn his fabulous live action portrayal by Matt Ryan probably owes its existence to spn and Castiel’s popularity. So... there’s a weird ouroboros situation happening with my favs here that makes my head spin whenever I think about it, but I love it - stories within stories built on stories feeding off stories, which connects to wider themes of story and storytelling being vital and intrinsic to life and stuff.

Anyway, despite his wardrobe, Johnny is NOTHING LIKE CAS. He is, in fact, a lot like Dean. But I like him more. Maybe because he’s British :p He has the whole ‘repressing his feelings’ things, a bit like Zira, but it’s not because he thinks they are wrong, it’s more of a coping mechanism to deal with the constant tragedy/trauma his life/lifestyle/fate causes him to suffer. But whatever the reason, I like my characters facing that struggle :) (actually the British element is probably way more significant to my enjoyment of him than I’ve been fully aware of... that’s probably why I loved Zira so fast as well... obviously they are both a completely different class of British, literally, but the fact they ARE British is INTRINSIC to both their characters, and I guess a little, vaguely patriotic part of me is excited by that... :p)

4. Gotham. Edward Nygma.

Since I’ve started giving explanations - I love Eddie because he’s also got the whole ‘emotionally repressed’ / out of touch with (his) emotions thing going on (as seen in Zira and Cas), but with the addition of various geeky / ‘tech guy’ character traits that I also love.

5. Doctor Who (Classic). Vislor Turlough.

I waxed poetic once about how I liked Gotham’s Edward Nygma because he reminded me a bit of Turlough. That was early on in my Gotham days though and given how Eddie developed I don’t see as many similarities now. Turlough shares some of Eddie’s ‘dark’ traits however - self-centered, often lacking in empathy for others and nonplussed (sometimes even happy) to see them get into trouble or hurt. But ultimately his attempts to be self-serving and cowardly end up thwarted by him developing feelings for specific individuals despite his best efforts, which is what I enjoy about him (and actually that’s a lot like Eddie still, huh... their endgame’s are opposing though ofc - while Eddie goes on to embrace being a villain, Turlough gives up on villainy and even becomes a bit of a hero, now and then). Plus, Turlough is the ONLY Companion (IIRC?) to have joined the Doctor specifically in order to MURDER him and... idk, I just think that’s cool :P

6. Doctor Who (New). Donna Noble.

(I’m trying not to double up on fandoms/shows so I can cover more, but New and Classic Who count as different things, kinda, right...?)

Donna doesn’t really fit any of the character traits I’ve talked about above, though I guess her low self-esteem is something that all my other favs share in various ways (though it’s not such an EXPLICIT aspect of their characters and story arcs as it was for Donna I’d say). What I first loved about her was that after YEARS of New companions (and other randoms) being literally in love with the Doctor, she had a strictly platonic relationship with him. Yeah, I think maybe the show was a bit heavy-handed about it, but even so it came as a huge breath of fresh air and frankly a RELIEF to me. Not that I’m opposed to the Doctor having romantic/sexual  relationships, it was just that... coming from a childhood love of the Classic series where that just... didn’t happen (save a fleeting kiss in the TV Movie - which I actually enjoyed fyi!), it just... idk, was starting to stretch my credulity that EVERYONE seemed to be falling for him maybe? Or at least for me it was growing tiresome. So the fact she didn’t have that element to her character/story was a plus. Then I just adore how loud and brash she is when calling anyone, including the Doctor, out on their shit (I envy her that maybe). Plus I like the way she isn’t... traditional TV pretty, you know? (ie. young and slim, like a lot of other companions).

...or maybe I just like redheads *shrug emoji* 

7. Spartacus. Naevia.

(she has two actresses okay? and they both deserve kudos!)

Truth is I love FUCKING EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW. Spartacus is like... my PERFECT SHOW. There isn’t a single moment, a single plotline, a single character that I don’t enjoy. I have never even CONSIDERED looking up or writing fic because the finished product is completely satisfying exactly as it is. God. But I wanted it represented in this list so I had to pick someone!

Considering the time period there couldn’t really BE a ‘geeky, emotionally repressed with low self-esteem’ character :p BUT nearly ALL of the characters have the whole ‘struggle to understand/discover who they are’ thing and the ‘who I am and want to be is counter to who I’ve been told I am / should be’ arc, on account of the main cast being rebelling slaves (though the other characters are equally complex and compelling and I love them too - Lucy Lawless in particular is incredible!). Anyone who’s seen me blog about the show before might have thought I’d pick either Agron or Nasir as my favs, since I do like to squee over their romance. But whenever I think about the show it’s usually Naevia who I remember first, because her character arc/development just BLEW ME AWAY. She went from someone I’d kinda dismissed at first as a typical het love interest to a WARRIOR GODDESS and you SEE all the key moments of that growth, you FEEL it, it makes ALL THE SENSE. And her romance with Crixus, which again I was initially a bit dismissive of as a typical, sudden, weak het romance, grows into, imo, one of the deepest, most developed, most believable love stories in the show. So yeah. Naevia. Amazing.

8. Due South. Ray Vecchio. 

(he’s the guy not the dog - gifs were limited! ...also the dog is actually a wolf, it’s a whole thing... that doesn’t need exploring at this juncture)

Ray was my first TV crush :P He had a bit of a sidekick vibe to him I guess, which I like (lead characters tend not to interest me as much). He wasn’t ‘geeky’ exactly, but he def had the ‘trying to look/act cooler than I am’ thing going on... also an obsessive attachment to his vintage car... meanwhile his partner Benny was the stoic, ‘British, stiff upper lip, keep emotions in check’ one who was always trying to live up to the ideal persona dictated by his people/employers, in this case the Royal Canadian Mounted Police... HUH, so... it’s actually SUPER WEIRD that I ended up loving Cas and Zira over Dean and Crowley when it seems pretty clear suddenly that my first big fictional fav was CLEARLY the Dean-Crowley to Benny’s Cas-Zira......?? Ray was FUNNY in a way Dean and Crowley aren’t though, I think? He def filled a ‘comic relief’ slot on the regular and I liked that a lot (it also made his serious, angsty moments EXTRA serious and angsty, and extra angst is something I always love!)

9. The Librarians. Eve Baird.

Remember this little show? It was... is... sorta ridiculous. Not amazing. Based on some... very cheap, very OBVIOUS Indiana Jones rip-off films, that were also ridiculous and... not... great (the third one is the best, with an awesome performance by Stana Katic aka Kate Beckett as a vampire, but I digress). But... idek, I am EXTREMELY FOND of the series for some reason :p

There are a WHOLE BUNCH of characters that fit my ‘type’ more than Eve tbh... in fact... probably every.single.other.main.cast.member (save perhaps Jenkins?) shares the traits above that typically make a character my fav. But... EVE! I just... think she’s neat! ...maybe it’s BECAUSE all the others are main/lead characters that makes me gravitate towards her? In a cast where ‘geeky, socially awkward, struggles with emotions’ is the norm, Eve being the no-nonsense, socially competent, badass soldier type therefore becomes different and thus more interesting to me? Also, much like with Donna, I appreciate that she’s an older woman who gets to have a full character and plot of her own. There’s also something about her romance with Flynn that... makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

10. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Jonathan Levinson.

(tumblr gif search failed me so I had to grab from elsewhere...)

Listen. Look. Okay. Buffy is pretty old school these days so, for anyone not in the know, as a character, originally, Jonathan... he wasn’t even a side character, he wasn’t even REOCCURRING, he was barely a background character. For several episodes he didn’t have a name and it wasn’t until several seasons after he became ‘Jonathan’ that he actually got a surname. Danny Strong was just an actor who happened to be occasionally on-hand when the script called for a random to have a line, until eventually that happened often enough for Joss to think ‘hey, you know what, let’s make this guy an actual part of the show...’ 

He got a couple of episodes focused on him in S03 and S04 respectively, but didn’t become a regular until S06 (and wasn’t in S05 AT ALL). Other than that he had a HANDFUL of ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ moments here and there, not even full scenes for the most part, usually lasting no longer than the above gif.

I tell you all this so that when I say childhood me (well... somewhere between 12 and 14 years anyway) was OBSESSED with this character in the show, and I mean O B S E S S E D (to the point of spending hours painstakingly making VHS recordings purely of the episodes he was in), you understand how UTTERLY BIZARRE that was. Because this obsession pre-dated S06. Was, in fact, in full swing during the airing of his S04 episode - which was, like, a fucking DREAM COME TRUE for freakily obsessed me fyi, because the whole episode was constructed with him as the LEAD CHARACTER, because he’d performed a spell to make him super awesome. They even changed the title sequence to read ‘Jonathan’ instead of Buffy! And while other fans were no doubt just lol-ing at the random I was bouncing about on my sofa all ‘MY TIME HAS COME!’ and fucking SWOONING over seeing MY CHARACTER suddenly in the spotlight and getting to do crazy fun OOC shit like this -

Then when S06 rolled around and HE WAS A LEGIT REGULAR, omg, I was in HEAVEN! First TV boxset I ever bought that - Buffy S06 :P

So... yeah. A bit of a fav. Geeky. Outcast. Slowly grows more morally grey, what with that spell I mentioned and also the fact he was teamed with the ANTAGONISTS in S06. I guess you could say he was the beginning of a lot of my fav fictional character traits/tropes (though looking back - I think his ‘villainous’ teammates in S06, Andrew and Warren, are more my ‘type’ these days, and I did end up loving Andrew especially a whole damn lot, but at the time I’d been a Jonathan fangirl for so.fucking.long. there was just no chance anyone else in the show was ever gonna come close to my heart!)

THE END.

Sorry not sorry for the tmi. I got a bit too into this one.

Actually sorry I have so few women on the list :( Internalised misogyny/sexism is a real thing and I spent a lot of my life being... somewhat unfairly dismissive of female characters or at least prioritising male ones over them. I’m working on it.

Ten people is SO.MANY. to tag. But I might as well do this right this time, since I’ve come so far. But if you’d rather not play, no worries! <3

@enchantersnight @momecat @bold-sartorial-statement @vampirebillionaire @edwardnashtons @miss-olivia-cellophane @knightinpinkunderwear @supes9 @leaper182 @hamburgergod

Honourable mentions (because I CAN):

Gotham. Lucius Fox.

Gotham. Fish Mooney.

Gotham. Tabitha Galavan.

Doctor Who. The Doctor.

Doctor Who. The Master/Missy.

Supernatural. Hannah.

Supernatural. Naomi.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Andrew Wells.

#about me #a true but boring story #well this was a fun nostalgia fest for me! #apologies to the rest of you.............

[culturejunkies]

An Ode To Garth...Escaper of the Friendzone

By Kenshiro

In recent episodes, DC’s Titans has come on really strong, shedding the somber albatross that was Season One, and moving forward to a much better written Season Two. I missed out on the recap of last week’s episode, but that’s just fine since nothing in this week’s episode deals with the cliffhanger from it. So we’ll forge right ahead and revisit that episode at a later date.

So this episode, as I said doesn’t deal with anything from last episode, but it does shed a lot of light on what led to the Titans conflict with Deathstroke, as well as give us a good, long look at how different things were for the team when they were first together. It was an obviously simpler time, everyone was very happy in their skin, and remained friends/family despite some broken relationships. This is where we meet Garth aka Aqualad, played by Drew Van Acker. Dude looks ripped straight from an issue of Aquaman, except he looks more like classic Arthur Curry than Jason Momoa could hope for on his BEST day. Surfer boy, blonde, bright smile…which is a little odd since Garth was never a blonde in any comic book iteration, but I digress.

Anyways, after foiling an attempted carjacking, we see that Garth is being thrown a birthday party at Titans Tower where he’s showered with love and adulation by his superhero family, Hank Hall, Dick Grayson and his girlfriend Dawn Granger. Yep, you read that right. Apparently ol’ Dick was the rebound when Hank’s annoying frat boy ways finally ground on her last nerves. Obviously there’s no hard feelings in the slightest, which to be honest is pretty damn cool to see Hank not devolve into an angry, jealous ex-boyfriend stereotype. However, Donna Troy seemingly wants absolutely nothing to do with any of these festivities, choosing instead to bury her head in a Frieda Kahlo book. Why? She’s trying everything she can to keep Garth in the place that so many men find themselves with women, THE FRIENDZONE.

How can a guy like Hank manage to drink Pabst Blue Ribbon and not immediately want to chase it with a much better brewski?

Garth, despite his repeated attempts in the episode, can’t seem to grasp a solid foothold to climb out of the sunken place of romance. He’s been crushing on Donna for years and has never once given up trying to get her to return his affections. Now, in today’s day and age, one could take his persistence as stalking or harassment which, if that’s where you went hearing about it, seek help. Garth is no social reject who feels or acts like he’s entitled to Donna’s affections, he just trys incredibly hard to spend time with her but backs off when she puts up resistance. Donna, on her end, seems hell-bent on doing everything to make sure he stays there though and to be honest, it made me kind of dislike her tactics. Faced with the burgeoning feelings for her teammate/childhood friend, while also considering her destiny as a Themyscrian warrior princess who set to return to the Island of Paradise she opts to run instead of facing her feelings.

Donna consults with her liason at the Themyscrian Embassy (and let me be honest, that was a cool thing to see that aspect of Diana’s history is well represented here) and arranges her departure to return and assume her destined role. After a rumble with Dr. Light, who they stop from acquiring a source of deadly power, she then finally gives in to Garth’s advances, since she apparently feels it’ll be the last opportunity she’ll have to see him. She pulls the ol’ “Sleep with em and slip out quietly” move on this poor man. He wakes up thinking that he’s FINALLY broken through and commiserates with Dick in the great room. Dick, being the good friend he is, lets him in on the news that he got the ultimate one-night stand treatment.

Sadly, this is where things kind of got unexpectedly pretty grim for our hero. Finding Donna at the private airstrip, Garth tried to browbeat Donna into her treatment of him at that moment, pretty much calling her a coward for running away from what her heart is telling her. In predictable fashion, Donna sees reason and runs after the departing Garth, leaping into his arms only to see him gunned down by Deathstroke. The murder of their teammate at the hands of the mercenary sets them all on a path seeking revenge for the tragedy that befell them. The end sets up a turning point for the team that obviously broke them completely apart and shredded their previously upbeat, carefree demeanor. Its all fun and games till someone gets killed I guess.

The episode also gave us our first glimpse at Jericho, Deathstroke’s son and Rose’s sister. Deathstroke apparently has been keeping a watch on him and his estranged wife, as we see earlier in the episode. Yet after the murder of Aqualad, he finds himself under the watchful gaze of Dick Grayson, who is now resorting to all the tricks of his mentor, Batman, making it clear that he’ll be exploiting Jericho to find Deathstroke. It was a little jarring to completely disconnect from the current storyline to dedicate these next two eps to flashback but the story definitely needed telling. Four episodes in, Titans is definitely in a good groove and its building toward an explosive follow-up to this episode!

#DC Entertainment #Titans #TV

[recentanimenews]

Anime's Top 10 Vampires of All Time!

  As the time for Halloween approaches, it makes us nostalgic for all of our favorite monsters, goblins, ghouls, and ghosts that haunt our anime. But what about the regal, majestic vampire? While they seem to be popular, vampires are pretty rare in starring roles, and separating the wheat from the chaff is an even harder task. A lot of times, the poor vampire is relegated to cannon fodder for powerful main characters to dispatch, treated as nothing more than lowly monsters to be exterminated, meaning it can be easy to disregard them as something uninteresting or weak. But fear not; we’ve learned from the best Van Helsing School of Vampire Hunters to catalogue who we think are the 10 top vampires in all of anime! Think you can stomach the challenge of standing up to these terrible titans, keep scrolling… If you dare! 

HONORABLE MENTION: Dracula Man (Dragon Ball)

Our list wouldn’t be complete without at least one honorable mention, and we felt it was hard to leave Dracula Man (AKA Fangs) here off the list. While not quite famous for being a vampire in the traditional sense, fans of Dragon Ball likely recognize this Thai Kickboxing Vampire! Dracula Man is far from the only vampire in Dragon Ball, with quite a few of the movies seemingly love the idea of pitting the Z Warriors against undead bloodsuckers, he’s the only one who appears in the canonical show itself. Of course, Dracula Man also has another dubious “honor”: being one of the only foes in the entire series defeated by Puar (with help from Upa, of course)! Dracula Man would go on to be something of a Dragon Ball in-joke, appearing in some of the games released well after his initial debut in the series, so we figured we’d say “fangs” for the memories, but not quite enough to make the top ten!

10) Staz Charlie Blood (Blood Lad)

Blood Lad was a quirky title that featured various supernatural types going at one another in a struggle to control the underworld. The protagonist, Staz, is a bit of an oddball compared to other vampires: he isn’t really affected by garlic, doesn’t mind crosses, can’t fly, and doesn’t even have wings. What he does have, however, is a huge obsession with Japanese anime and video games! Aside from that, Staz is the a territory leader in Demon World East, making him more of a delinquent than a refined aristocrat, but he is a descendant of Dracula himself (not an uncommon thing for most anime vampires, to be fair)! Staz is certainly a unique take on the modern vampire, and earns his spot at number ten for being a quirky, but likeable, modern rendition of the blood sucking creature of myth.

9) Sunako Kirishiki (Shiki)

Shiki was a pretty heavy and dark show, and we figured we’d get that warning out of the way first for anyone who might be curious to check it out after reading our list: things get dark, and we mean DARK. The vampires of Shiki tend towards the ghoulish side, with their dark eyes making them seem even more inhuman than usual. Perhaps most unusual is Sunako, a seemingly young girl that resembles a doll more than a dangerous monster. Sunako wants nothing more than to find some way for the Shiki and humans to live in some sort of harmony, but the cruel world she lives in, and the actions of both groups, makes her dream seemingly impossible. Like Staz and a few other good vampires, Sunako only feeds to survive, trying to limit her need to do so as much as possible and cause as little suffering as she can. 

8) Saya Otonashi (Blood The Last Vampire / Blood +)

While technically the same character, the two versions of Saya are quite different, and equally memorable. Blood the Last Vampire’s version of Saya is that of a cold, seemingly aloof young woman who becomes a cold blooded killer, hunting down the monsterous Chiropterans. Fighting vampiric beasts with a katana is cool, but it’s even cooler when you’re also the last remaining “true” vampire that exists! In Blood+, this version of Saya similarly hunts Chiropterans, although her past is far more mysterious and her own existence as a vampire is clouded in mystery and intrigue. Either version of Saya is worthy of being on a list, but we wanted to highlight both, as the movie and TV show were amazing and worth the watch! 

7) Mina Tepes (Dance in the Vampire Bund)

Mina Tepes' standing of the queen of all vampires sounds great, until you realize that everyone is seemingly out to kill you! After paying off all of Japan’s debts, Mina sets up a supposed vampire safe zone known as the “Bund”, but human aggressors and vampiric plots of usurping the throne threaten Mina’s life… Until she turns the tables on her would be attackers! Mina isn’t quite the little girl she appears to be, and while her bodyguards are quite capable, Mina is a full fledged vampire who has some serious skills and abilities. Mina certainly embodies that sense of aristocracy associated with vampires, what with paying off an entire country’s debts, but the way she carries herself and the vampire culture of the Bund cement the series as having one of the more interesting takes on vampires not as monsters, but as a unique culture separate from humanity. Just make sure you don’t call her a little girl, or you might not live long enough to even regret it! 

6) Seras Victoria (Hellsing / Hellsing Ultimate)

Originally a rookie police officer, a fateful and fatal encounter leaves Seras Victoria at the mercy of a cruel choice: die, or become a vampire! Deciding to choose “life”, Seras becomes the ward of the most powerful vampire there is: Alucard! Trying her hardest to resist the temptation to feed and bumbling through her transition from human to vampire, Seras is equal parts adorable and terrifying, as many people who’ve seen her true powers manifest can attest to. If you’re not familiar with her, let’s just say that coming between her and what she wants most is a fine way to get ground to dust! Seras lends a much more “human” component to the vampires of Hellsing, and frankly seems even more rational than some of the humans at times, making her a memorable character for just trying to do her best in the crazy hellscape she lives in. Good luck, Seras! 

5) Miyu (Vampire Princess Miyu)

The OG lady anime vampire princess, Miyu is an anime icon that fans of a certain age likely remember as one of their first anime titles ever! A classic horror series, Vampire Princess Miyu followed the titular main character as she hunted down Shinma, demons, that would wander into the human realm to do harm. Miyu is another compassionate vampire, generally selecting people to feed on that she can leave in an eternal state of “happiness” in exchange for the blood they give her. The Miyu series is an absolute classic, starting off as a manga in the 80's and still running today, with numerous anime spin offs in the forms of OVAs and TV shows. I remember first encountering Vampire Princess Miyu in a Blockbuster Video aisle (remember those stores?), and coupled with another high ranking vampire on this list, became one of many reasons why I ended up diving deeper into the wonderful world of anime.

4) Shinobu Oshino (Bakemonogatari)

We will try to avoid too many spoilers here, because one of the joys of the Bakemonogatari series is discovering the web of ways characters interconnect and the secrets that they hide. What we can say is that when the series first debuted, the donut munching young vampire known simply as Shinobu stood out from the rest of the eccentric cast, and seemed to catch the eye of many other fans. Shinobu is a relative mystery in the series, a skulking shadow that doesn’t seem to quite fit in with the things going on around the other characters, and diving further into the Bakemonogatari series reveals why this is. But we don’t want to say too much more about it; go check out the series for yourself and discover why Shinobu rates so highly as one of the most unique vampires we’ve seen in a long time. 

3) Vampire Hunter D (Vampire Hunter D)

Along with Vampire Princess Miyu, Vampire Hunter D is an anime that some fans might remember as one of their first anime ever. The star of a long running series of novels illustrated by Yoshitaka Amano, Vampire Hunter D comes to the anime world rarely, and generally in the form of feature films: 1985’s Vampire Hunter D, and 2000’s Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust. Both films are amazing and still hold up today, and D is one of the best semi-silent protagonists there is, hunting down vampires in the post-nuclear future world they inhabit. The mixture of post-apocalyptic sci-fi and medieval style horror make the series truly unique, and whether you’re an anime fan from 30 years ago, 20 years ago, you probably think of D and his fabulous hat when you think of anime vampires! 

2) Dio Brando (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure)

While he’s certainly an odd style of vampire compared to some of the more traditional ones on the list, there are few that can hold a candle to the one, the only, Dio Brando. Originally a human boy who discovered the secret of the Stone Mask, Dio is a being of pure evil and selfish desires that fits perfectly with the image of vampire, and his original vampiric run through Phantom Blood truly feels like a classic movie monster villain. When he re-appears in Stardust Crusaders, Dio’s vampirism takes a bit of a backseat to his Stand abilities, but his classic vampiric cry, “WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”, still remains! Fans who had a chance to see the original JoJo OVA from the 90s might remember Dio’s fabulous vampire cape, but even without it, his fanged grin and inhuman stamina make Dio one of the top vampires in anime; after all, not many of the others can claim the ability to stop time and drop road rollers on people! Dio, we love you, even if you are a terrible monster.

1) Alucard (Hellsing / Hellsing Ultimate)

  When you talk about anime vampires, though, it is really hard to ignore the lanky, leering, and imposing presence of Alucard from the Hellsing series. The huge red hat and coat, the glasses, the wide, inhuman toothy grin, and the huge guns give Alucard a timeless profile, and coupled with his absolutely bonkers assortment of abilities, makes him perhaps the most terrifying vampire on the list. Stopping time for a few seconds seems like child's play compared to some of the abilities that Alucard possesses, and the absolute terror his foes suffer when they realize just how outclassed they are by Alucard makes for some of the best moments in anime. Of all the vampires on the list, Alucard is also the most “authentic”, detesting sunlight, holy symbols and consecrated weapons, and even being unable to cross bodies of water without his coffin and soil. Whether it’s being the most accurate to vampire lore, striking a memorable profile, or just being ridiculously powerful and scary, Alucard really hits all the right buttons when it comes to the top anime vampire!

  And with that, we put the last stake into our list! Vampires certainly seem far more popular than they are prevalent, but when a vampire is a good character, they really leave an everlasting impression. So as you get ready to enjoy your Halloween festivities, maybe take some time to revisit some of these amazing vampires, or check them out for the first time. Just beware… If they ask you for a drink, you better protect your neck! 

  What do you think of our list of vampires? Have any that we didn’t include here? Let us know what you think in the comments, and have a Happy Halloween! 

  ----

Nicole is a features writer and editor for Crunchyroll. Known for punching dudes in Yakuza games on her Twitch channel while professing her love for Majima. She also has a blog, Figuratively Speaking. Follow her on Twitter: @ellyberries

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

[rayonfrozenwings]

The Interconnection of ACOTAR and TOG and what this means for Kingdom of Ash

Welcome to Renee’s theory on how its all connected!

Masterlist to my official theories here. (aka the ones I spent time writing up)

Preface: Now it’s important to note that over time, as new ideas emerge - older theories may become less relevant. Before I start writing - I go in with the perspective that each new theory is on its own. I don’t require the information from other posts/ideas unless explicitly stated in the new theory.

So for this theory, I may refer to other theories I have already written, I may explain them here in a new context, and change my thoughts on them. I even have different paths available for the direction SJM can go. I’m pretty open to everything being a possibility until it is dis-proven in Canon. I paraphrased a fair bit. But if you know TOG well i’m sure you will remember the parts I’m talking about, and if possible I have put in brackets what book said what. CONTAINS REFERENCES TO BOTH TOG AND ACOTAR BOOKS. Also warning - I don't want to accidentally spoil anyone if I actually end up being right about anything, so maybe don’t read this until after KoA. haha. Well you can. But if I manage to get something right, I feel like I have warned you. :P Please Understand that I am trying to take things back to their simplest form, and there are links to wiki articles if you want to do your own reading for better understanding. Hellenistic philosophy for example makes my brain hurt, but if you want more I have linked it. I refer a bit to ancient Greek myth etc too. Tagging: @miladyaelin @bookofmirth @paperbacktrash @therapeuticrambling @lady-katkat @illyrianbeauty @photofeesh @slytherclaw713 @nephelle-warrior-scribe (I just tagged people who might be interested, I will not be offended if you don’t want to read it. :D)

So to start I’m going to propose that the Worlds of Acotar and Prythian are connected. 

That they are linked. How? They are not the “same world” but neither are they different. A year ago I wrote a post called “Erilea” (here). Through discourse and discussion with other people in the fandom on this post, we came up with some cool ideas on why Prythian and Erilea look similar in terms of geography.

Ice age - Change in the Sea Levels. Making Erilea and Prythian the same world at different times. Either Prythian came first or Erilea. Either was an option.

Parallel worlds - multi-world theory, They are the same place with small differences in their history that changed the make up of those worlds (a sliders reference). These worlds can be connected to each other through a Wyrdgate or wormhole. 

But now I have a third theory. A theory about Why Prythian looks a lot like Erilea. And it’s a little Fantastical and I love it. I will be happy if this is not the case too - but it’s always nice to try and solve a puzzle. I believe if the worlds are linked we will find out in Kingdom of Ash. So BEWARE : IF MY THEORY IS RIGHT THEN THERE MAY BE KOA SPOILERS. Of course - i’m just a fan of these books who loves theory - so it’s possible I just have an overactive imagination as well. :D

But First I need to take a step back. 

I need to look at how the Universe for these books is made. (I have written 4000 words in a separate document and its too complicated with lots of open ends and possibilities so I’m trying to simplify here and provide the details that make the most sense. - warning I failed to make it shorter, but at least its in bullet points).

The origins of the Throne of Glass Universe.

There are gods. (all books reference at least one) 

Aelin and co. are in the “third movement” of an unfinished game between these gods. (QOS) The gods guide people to make certain decisions and take certain actions. (EOS)

The Gods do not have physical form but are trapped - At this point in the story anyway. (EOS)

There are mortals in the story - fae, humans, shapeshifters, people who have a vested interest in the material world in which they live. (all books)

There is the idea that the worshiped gods change over time - or who is worshiped changes over time. There are 36 gods in the Southern Continent (TOD) and the Khaganate says that they never eradicate old gods but rather assimilate them into their own religion.

Could this mean that we have three sets of 12? 12 Gods.  Perhaps the same 12 gods at each new re-incarnation (since we have three movements in the unfinished game) or a new scion or mortal to speak through for each of these gods.

But we know that there are 9 on the Pantheon at Mistward (HOF) - So what happened to the other three gods? 

In the “lock” / “witchmirror” Elena is looked over at the obsidian passes by 12 Gods and Goddesses! I think Maeve has been re-writing some history in Wendyln, or not all 12 are worshiped. Time forgets those that aren't seen as important. Which is true of our own histories. The Greek Olympians changed over time and Dionysus was seen more in later pantheon’s for example.

Creation of the universe

Neoplatonism is the idea that the universe is made from an initial thought - The One. There is void and nothing and then necessity/ fate/ the One comes into being. From this point the universe expands out. Creating more and more. Beings that make up essence and soul - I like to think of them as primordial gods/goddesses, life and death gods. Then there is a creator from this - someone who is used as a tool by necessity to craft creation, a physical artisan. Do not confuse the creator with God. The creator is merely an artisan, with the skills and the tools needed to do the work of the necessity. And then more specific Gods form from this.

It is called the Celestial Hierarchy. - see below and link to more info here.

((Celestial hierarchy[edit]

Later neoplatonic philosophers, especially Iamblichus, added hundreds of intermediate beings such as gods, angels, demons, and other beings as mediators between the One and humanity. The neoplatonist gods are omni-perfect beings and do not display the usual amoral behaviour associated with their representations in the myths.

The One: God, The Good. Transcendent and ineffable.

The Hypercosmic Gods: those that make Essence, Life, and Soul

The Demiurge: the Creator

The Cosmic Gods: those who make Being, Nature, and Matter—including the gods known to us from classical religion. ))

Source: wiki: neoplatonism

So What does this mean? I think that this means that Erilea was created by a artisan or creator, and since then there has been a war going on between the “cosmic gods” - So the god of Storms, The goddess of Light, the god of Wild things. These gods had a kind of civil war - either with themselves, or with higher beings. I am ever hopeful that when SJM releases the book “The world of throne of glass” that it shall have all the mythology and story behind how this works because it is complicated to decipher. I’ve been pulling my hair out trying to nail down these influences in her books (jewish bible/ christian bible/greek myth/welsh myth/slavic myth - seriously, i’m going crazy here).

Thanks to the Bone Carver (acowar) we know that there are multiple worlds and that his world turned to dust a long time ago and he cannot return (this might be Erilea, it might not). The Celestial Hierarchy idea above can have more than one creator, the cycle can continue over and over again as long as necessity is guiding something to happen. I believe the reason Prythian is so diverse in its populations is because it’s a combination of things to do with its creation. But that's for me to explain a little further along (I was going to come back to this point - but it’s already super long, and I don't want to head down another path - basically, more than one world, feeding into tartarus = lots of different beings from multiple worlds, and all the worlds could now be dust. Like Angels - aka Amren)

(Also if you love this idea of being guided by necessity and doing the ultimate good then check out David Eddings Belgariad and Mallorean series, because its got those elements fine tuned).

Multiple planes of existence

Another Idea that has been floating around is the idea of multiple planes of existence. Kind of like a Olympus / Earth / The Underworld / Tartarus type of scenario if I use greek myth as an example. There are these realms or planes of existence that exist independently of each other but you are able to access them via certain avenues - like dying, becoming a god, secret passageways, ascending Olympus. This one is pretty cool. Because it means that creatures who find their way into Erilea (think Wyverns through the ferrian gap, Valg creatures in Morath and that monster/serpent under the lake/Mountain in Heir of fire.) They either accidentally or on purpose find their way into Erilea through the darkest places in the world. Dark Tunnels. Gaps in the fabric of Creation. Similar to how it was thought humans could travel to the underworld if they knew how - and still be living. Like Orpheus (ovid’s metamorphosis) traveling to the underworld through a dark tunnel to get back his wife Eurydice. Or Hercules for his various tasks.

The idea of the underworld being a physical place isn’t uncommon. We also get certain days in TOG where the absence of light means that the spirit world is closer to Erilea. Samhain is one such day, and the day of a solar eclipse also has Mort talking in a voice that is not his own or Elena’s. So who’s is it? with the veil between worlds so thin? There are many possibilities - maybe it is even necessity itself. So it is possible that Prythian is a “Underworld”. In fact with the quote “everything tastes better above the wall”- ACOMAF.  I would even say that the seven courts of Prythian could be the Elysian fields. I feel like this idea isn’t new, or at least it has been rattling around in my head for a long time so I feel like I’ve heard it before. The Prison in Acotar has always appeared as Tartarus to me. A place deep deep under the earth, even deeper than the underworld, but the entry is in the underworld. This place is a prison to the worst kind of creatures. The creatures that go against the natural order. Tartarus (wiki link for those wanting more) is believed to be the abyss, the darkest place. I believe Tartarus and “The Prison” are the same.  Interestingly enough Tartarus is said to be a god in its own right often dwelling in Tartarus. The third primordial Deity, preceding Eros (love/desire) That is why Feyre and the others are to be scared of those that dwell there. It is even said that “the watchers” - fallen Angels were imprisoned in Tartarus, and with Amren’s “Angel-ness” coming to light in ACOWAR and the fact we know that she escaped the Prison, makes me even more keen to think that the prison is in actuality Tartarus, and therefore Prythian - the underworld.  OK So all that is the background I have  tried to decipher - for a very very very long time. I have a lot of other theories and ways things might interconnect but I’m just going to leave that for now because - I don't want to get confused. So My next step is Kingdom of Ash and what I think might happen.

What does this mean for KoA?

I suspect that we have an amalgamation of ideas here and that The void and land of cold, ice and Darkness where the Valg come from is actually Prythian (simply known as the Abyss containing Tartarus before Kingdom of Ash’s events.) and Prythian gets a makeover thanks to Aelin. Prythian exists but not as we know it, before the events of Kingdom of Ash. So not only are Prythian and Erilea not the same world but they also do not occur at the same time. 

To be honest - we can get a split here as well.

Aelin makes prythian from scratch

Aelin re-forges Prythian, using what is already there and re-shapes it. 

More Kingdom of Ash Spoilers ahead - if I’m right.

Forging of the Lock.

So how is Kingdom of Ash going to tell me about the creation of Prythian? Well there is a mural in ACOTAR that Feyre finds and describes for us - Chapter 13 of ACOTAR. Here are some quotes from that:

“It told a story with the way the colours and shapes and light flowed, the way the tone shifted across the mural. The story of… Prythian.”

“It began with a Cauldron.”

“A mighty black Cauldron held by glowing, slender female hands in a starry, endless night.

Those hands tipped it over, golden sparkling liquid poured out over the lip. No - not sparkling, but … effervescent with small symbols, perhaps of some ancient faerie language. Whatever was written there whatever it was, the contents of the cauldron were dumped into the void below, pooling on the earth to form our world …” “The map spanned the entirety of our world - not just the land on which we stood, but also the seas and larger continents beyond. Each territory was marked and coloured, some with intricate, ornate depictions of the beings who had once ruled over lands that now belonged to the humans. All of it, i remembered with a shudder, all of the world had once been theirs - at least as far as they believed, crafted for them by the bearer of the cauldron. There were no mention of humans - no sign of us here. I supposed we’d been as low as pigs to them.”

“In the centre of the land, as if it were the core around which everything else had spread, or perhaps the place where the cauldrons liquid had first touched. Was a small, snowy mountain range. From it arose a mammoth, solitary peak. Bald of snow, bald of life - as if the elements refused to touch it. There was no more clues about what it might be; nothing to indicate its importance, and I supposed that the viewers were already supposed to know. This was not a mural for human eyes” - acotar.

A lot of people (myself included) have thought that this mural was the key to linking the worlds. And I think this is the Key to what is going to happen in Kingdom of Ash. Aelin is the creator - the artisan - the wielder of the cauldron. There are two ways/reasons I can see this happening.

Aelin Erupts and has managed to destroy the “darkness” in Erilea, through the creation of the Lock  But Light creates darkness simply by being present. Casting a shadow, and because of this if your remove one then you must also remove the other - like calls to like, made and unmade, a never ending cycle. Rules of balance in the universe etc. She has “unmade” something if she destroys all the Darkness in the world. If this happens, and light is removed then Erilea will cease to exist (think about acowar - near the end with some Cauldron destroying the world type stuff ;) Feyre(light) and Rhys(darkness) work together to save creation). And Aelin either by accident or not -  will need to find a solution to this destruction, a solution to “unmaking” something, to the end of the world as they know it. So she creates prythian to evacuate to, to save the people she can. The void exists on the other side of the Wyrd gate and she uses this as a place to “create” prythian.  

OR The battle is over and Aelin needs to send back all the monstrosities into the void through the Wyrd Gate. She doesn't try to destroy them - only contain them. But as their land has nothing but Darkness, Ice and wind, Aelin needs to create a place for the creatures to live. Not all who have Valg in them are evil - the witches being the perfect example. A cross-breed of darkness and light (Fae and Valg). To banish ALL Valg - surely the witches would need to be vanished too? That seems like a pretty awful alliance, if you help out the saviour and then they banish you!

Note that this does not mean ERILEA and PRYTHIAN are the same - simply that you might be able to reach one through a Wyrd gate if you wanted to. So with those two worrying thoughts. How does she do it?

We know you cannot UNMAKE something that is MADE. And like calls to like, as is said in ACOTAR. Essentially - you cannot have good without evil or light without Darkness. So Aelin needs to find a way to contain and not destroy, because she doesn't want to destroy the entirety of creation.  

Now, Aelin is the first to raise her hand for a wild plan that saves the day - and the gods have said that they will take the dark king with them (EOS) when they are returned home from the eternity stuck in an astral plane. But Aelin has to give up her mortality to do that - she has to give up Rowan - Her life - Her future. Aelin ain't going to do that. She hates being told what to do, if she can find a way out - she will.

Aelin needs to make sure the natural order is restored.   So using the Acotar mural as reference  - She forges a Cauldron using her powers from Mala Firebringer acting as the forge, using iron from the ironteeth witches as they evolve and change. 

The last Crochan queen (Manon) melts the iron inside her as she yields, giving all the iron to the cauldron. Manon is the only being who has inside her - The LIGHT and the DARK. She is an IRONTEETH witch and a CROCHAN witch. She is both good and Evil. She is the Bridge between Aelin (the light) and Dorian (the darkness). 

Iron also contains magic in Erilea, it prevents it from working. The iron doors and iron coffin, stifle magic, so the iron of the cauldron would act to ground the magic, to bind it to the mortal world. The raw magic from the realm of darkness (Dorian) combines with that of the realm of light (Aelin). Together the three of them create a cauldron to hold the wyrd keys and fill it full of glittering liquid that is the liquid of creation. And a female with Slender pale arms becomes the Creator of Prythian (I’m assuming it's Aelin because she is the “saviour”, making the sacrifice and is also “nameless in my price” and no-one remembers the creator’s name in Prythian).

Then with the cauldron, Aelin creates Prythian.

She either goes through the gate and pours the liquid (or pours the liquid through the gate) out of the cauldron and into the darkness of the void, landing on the top of a sacred mountain.

Tartarus (underworld) is already there, drifting in the abyss, but she makes the Elysian fields - she makes the underworld, she makes the promised land, Prythian. 

From the Darkness Aelin creates a new land in the image of her home land.

In an image or Erilea.

Her thoughts - her words become the essence of creation.  

Aelin hasn’t traveled far, but the places she has been to she pours forth from herself into this new place. Using the magic of the cauldron to shape creation - she remakes what has been made before. She pours Xandria and the Desert (Hybern), a place she only reached by sea, now an isolated island. She pours the Omega and her sacred forest (Oakwald), she pours in the mountain ranges, and the coast in s familiar shape, she includes Wendlyn and the sights she saw there. She pours her heart and soul forth as she includes Terrasen, the library of Orynth and the mountain home from which those gods and goddesses once looked over Erilea, the Staghorn mountains in the distance (night court). And the constellation that always guides her home - the Stag of the North, to look over the people and guide them. Always looking over Terrasen and now their new home.

She knows she can’t replicate everything as she hasn't seen the entirety of the world.

But she tries her best.

She makes Prythian as best she can.

A reflection of the World she knows - a reflection of Erilea.  

Then she finds ways to trap and bind Maeve and Erawan (Death Gods - Styrga and Koschei)  who she must send there too.

Because Aelin won’t make a deal with the gods, she is forging her own path.

Ensuring her own survival.

She binds the primordial gods to a location so they may not harm the inhabitants. So they may not repeat what they did in Erilea. 

Here there is a split - Either point 1 or point 2 from above (depending on whether the entire world is turning to ash - or she is just banishing the valg). 

(Point 1 - Erilea turned to ash)

She takes a part of the death god’s essence back into the cauldron, diminishing their power.

As many as possible are sent through the gate to save them.

She Banishes Maeve to a forest, to be watched by the little folk who choose to guard her. 

She banishes Erawan to a Lake/”silver” on the Continent.  

When it is over - she has drained all her magic.

All the godly essence given to her from Mala is gone. 

The gods are gone. Released from their eternal torment (if Erilea is destroyed). 

Dorian has used all his raw magic and Manon has used all the power her body once contained. Manon no longer has any iron and is a true Crochan witch, no ironteeth remaining.

They open the gate to all who wish to step through, to a new world, made in the image of the first. As their own world turns to dust. They cross over into Prythian on the Sacred Mountain where the Cauldron’s glittering liquid first touched the land.

OR 

(Point 2 - Banishing valg)

She takes a part of the death god’s essence back into the cauldron, diminishing their power.

As many as possible are sent through the gate.

She Banishes Maeve to a forest, to be watched by the little folk who choose to guard her. 

She banishes Erawan to a Lake/silver on the Continent.  

When it is over - she has drained all her magic.

All the godly essence given to her from Mala is gone.

Aelin can choose to trap the gods in Tartarus or the Prison forever - a kind of payback.  

Dorian has used all his raw magic and Manon has used all the power her body once contained. Manon no longer has any iron and is a true Crochan witch, no ironteeth remaining.

They go back to their kingdoms and castles and try to live in a world without Valg.

They put the Cauldron back in the Abyss, never to be used again. The wyrd keys hidden inside it’s feet. 

Then we have the story of ACOTAR - A story set in this new world. With the gods having vanished or have been “redistributed” throughout creation. Re-emerged into new people, new bloodlines, getting a second chance.

If point 1 comes to pass then we get our happy endings. Fresh starts made by the saviours. The living beings are what matter, not the land itself. And Erilea has long ago turned to dust and the survivors are in Prythian - living their happily ever afters and facing new challenges. Their bloodlines continuing through generations. Feyre Archeron having the blood of that fae warrior who saved all - long ago, imbued with light. Joins with the darkness (Rhysand) to save Prythian (in ACOWAR). A darkness that soothes, and isn’t evil. Creating a perfect balance of light and dark in Prythian. A fresh start.

“There are different kinds of darkness,” Rhys said. I kept my eyes shut. “There is the darkness that frightens, the darkness that soothes, the darkness that is restful.” I pictured each. “There is the darkness of lovers, and the darkness of assassins. It becomes what the bearer wishes it to be, needs it to be. It is not wholly bad or good.”  ACOMAF.

The Acheron Line is human I hear your say - Is that because Aelin gave up her immortality to live? Her power transferred to the cauldron and as a gift she was able to live a mortal life? I could speculate on who is descendant from who, but I’m not going to do that here. I’m going to wait and see if this theory has any validity once Kingdom of Ash comes out. If not. That’s fine, I look forward to being surprised. Either way I am going to love this book.

So why would SJM say the worlds aren't linked? Because she doesn't want to give away the ending for Kingdom of Ash. She doesn't want to spoil us! And here I am doing my digging and making my stories. (by the way if I’m wrong - That's cool, I love to be surprised! I think this would make an amazing story though - anyone want to write an AU? :P haha).  

If Point 2 comes to pass, then there is a lot of rebuilding. Prythian can still be created by Aelin, but what happens to our Favorites is still up in the air. And some things - like Feyre’s ancestry don’t appear to make much sense, when it is implied that she came from the “ancient fae warrior[s]” blood line. Maybe some people get stuck in Prythian but not all, and Erilea doesn't turn to ash. That’s cool. Not sure how the book will finish happily ever after though. (not that it needs to). Will we get split perspective of the two sides of the Wyrd gate or just loose contact with those not in Erilea anymore?

The problem with me is this - I get more questions than answers... it happens when I think up a theory. 

Great - This is cool. But what about this and this? questions come unasked to the forefront and I pull out my hair. 

For example -  What about what the Stygian spiders and Brannon said in Tower of Dawn and Empire of Storms? Both are secondary sources of information. Stories. And while I think each has an element of truth, they are flawed as they come from a person/creature that is mortal. It is important to note that in neoplatonism there are different tiers of beings. Brannon, The stygian spider, Aelin and co. are all on the same tier. They are all mortals stuck trying to so the best with the reality they are given - with the information that they are given at the time. The only direct contact we have with a Goddesses is Deanna losing her cool and possessing Aelin in empire of storms and telling Aelin to find the lock and therefore - see the truth. And then those memories from the Witch mirror. 

And then SJM does a fade to black! What the HELL! So the reader doesn't get the FULL truth from a source that would have all the information - these beings that are not limited by time or space!! (Renee gives SJM the side eyes and takes a deep breath).

So here are some Questions my digging has thrown up for Me:

Question 1: Why did Brannon not like Gavin?

Is is because Gavin has an association with the Sin Eater (Who I think is Erawan’s brother that later gets banished by Maeve (maybe leaves himself? I’m still re-reading so I might be missing something here) - and also possibly the Bone Carver by another name). 

If it is because of this association then what does this mean for Gavin and Gavin’s bloodline? Did he trade something to become king? A no-name human, was it for a sword to defeat Erawan? but he couldn’t wield it against Erawan as he destroyed his hand at the obsidian passes? The reason I ask this is because the description of Damaris in COM is strangely familiar. “Damaris. The legendary sword of Gavin. Its hilt was silvery gold and had little ornamentation, save for a pommel in the shape of an eye. No Jewel lay in its socket; it was only an empty ring of gold. Some legends claimed that when Gavin wielded Damaris, He would only see the truth, and that was why he had been crowned king. Or some nonsense like that..” The Scabbard is also decorated with Wyrd marks. Yes eye imagery is common in SJM’s books and it could mean nothing. But we Know Gavin was at the Sin Eater’s temple because of Queen of Shadows scene. Does the bone Carver and the prison have some sort of link to the night court? The night court heir’s blood is keyed to the lock.  Feyre has an eye tattoo on her hand that allows Rhys to connect with her. On the cover of ACOWAR Feyre has an eye on her belt - meaning that the eye has a lot of symbolism for the ACOTAR universe. Is that because certain characters are linked to this eye, or is the eye something more? 

I could jump to a conclusion about bloodlines and that The Night Court is descended from Manon and Dorian. Raw magic and Fae (a witch without her iron). Later splitting into fragments - Their heirs - like The Morrigan, being connected to “truth” just as Dorian is. The eye- being a symbol of the night court and also of Gavin’s sword. Dorians powers of darkness, ice, cold - Just like Rhysand’s. The crowns in ACOWAR  - one being a crown of stars and the moon, similar to how the blueblood heir wore a crown of stars herself. I’m not sure of this as they would be presiding over the land that was once Terrasen - but maybe this happens when the saviour of the world fades from memory? And if there is a link between the Night court and the Bone Carver, then there would also be a link to Stryga (the bone carvers sister). 

Which Leads into this Question 2: Why is Dorian as important as Aelin?

(I touched on it above but I feel like I need to justify him as having more than just the power he wields).

In Queen of Shadows, when Aelin and Co are in the Shadow Market -  it talks about how Brannon is Blessed By Mala- he and his sword, Goldryn. Then there is this quote “What if there was a god of truth—a Sin-Eater? What if he blessed Gavin, and this sword?” -QOS. 

So If Gavin was Blessed by the Sin Eater just as Brannon was blessed by Mala, then it would make sense that some of his descendants (Just like Brannon’s) are also Blessed. So Dorian’s power is that of the Sin Eater - The God of Truth.

Truth is often associated with the first thought in some mythologies as well. Aelin is the bringer of light - the heir of Mala light bringer / Mala Fire bringer. She embodies the first light in the universe. So we have two beings - blessed by Light and Dark, between Darkness of the Void - and initial thought and the Fire from Creation.

When Aelin is Holding Damaris in the Sin Eater’s temple, she has to drop it as it turns cold. Damaris is not her weapon (Which we know since the events following Queen of shadows). Damaris is for Dorian - heir of Truth and the Sin Eater, Just as Aelin is heir of fire and light. And Aelin wields Goldryn the sword blessed my Mala for her heir.

Dorian and Aelin Fusing their power

The power displayed in Queen of Shadows when Aelin rescues Dorian is amazing but destructive. These two have the ability to create the world.  

“there was fire and light and darkness and ice” is how Dorian describes the ring destroying the Valg inside him -QOS. 

And then in chapter 77 I think we have a pretty big piece of foreshadowing for Kingdom of Ash 

“They joined hands. So the world ended. And the next one began.” QOS.

“They were infinite. They were the beginning and the ending; they were eternity.” - QOS. 

They are one with creation. They are one with all of the realms.

This next quote helps solidify my idea of at least three realms being present at this time. 

“But they held tighter to each other, past and present and future; flickering between an ancient hall in a mountain castle perched above Orynth, a bridge suspended between glass towers, and another place, perfect and strange, where they had been crafted from stardust and light. A wall of night knocked them back. But they could not be contained. The darkness paused for breath. They erupted.”

Past - The realm of the gods, the Past. Like Olympus or a sacred mountain, the gods/goddesses watching over their people.

Present - The Glass Castle - This moment.

Future - Stardust and light. This could mean Erilea turns to dust and all that remains is stardust and light. Or it could mean their future is in this third place, created from stardust and light. Or it could even be Dorian and Aelin ascending to the stars like those spirits the Night court watch on Starfall.   It really depends on whether Fate is predetermined. At this point in time, the future could still be written? Or is the only answer to have a world that turns to dust? Or is it nothing and again I am looking too closely at something.

Their power - while amazing is also fairly contained. Yes Aelin wasn’t at full strength and neither was Dorian when they destroyed the Glass Castle. So will they erupt - and have it be felt across worlds - just like Amren said of Nesta. Or will they use their power to find a way to create something new.

Question 3: If Prythian is formed from Erilea and Aelin, then how come Iron has no power in Prythian when it does in Erilea?

I think because the cauldron is made of iron and contains the essence of Prythian’s creation, it has become a part of creation. It has merged with magic. So it no longer holds any power over it.

And I’m going to stop there- because this slightly organised mess is as far as I have gotten. I tried to group Ideas together, but for the sake of Flow, I have put some ideas at the end under those questions. 

Basically in summary  - multiple planes of existence. Step through a Wyrd Gate. Dorian, Manon and Aelin Forge the Cauldron. Aelin makes Prythian. (My belief next) Aelin turns Erilea to Ash, they escape into Prythian. Aelin is made mortal. 

#theory #koa theory #fan theory #reneewritesfantheory #koa #erilea #prythian #sjm #acotar #tog #throne of glass #Dont read if you dont want my predictions #Dont blame me if you dont like what you read #acomaf #acowar #com #hof #eos #qos #tod #aelin #dorian #manon #cauldron #on the nature of the universe and creation #neoplatonism in tog #seriously do not read this if you dont like guessing what happens in koa #I dont know how to tag this to include more warnings #Oh its super long. #like ridiculiously long